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t3_3fbud7 | relationships | Friend [27F] posted a drunk-looking picture of me & SO [27F&M] on facebook | Pretty stupid but SO and I had maybe four beers between us and fell asleep at a movie night with about 5 friends and friends-of-friends. We were super tired from some final projects that we had been working on (2+ all nighters that week) and probably shouldn't have gone out when we were so tired but we wanted to relax after the shitty week. My friends thought it would be funny to put streamers and random stuff all over to see how long it would take for us to wake up. They texted me the picture the next day and we all laughed because it was ridiculous. SO and I looked black out drunk in the picture.
SO and I graduated this June and a friend-of-a-friend "Ally" who was at the get together thought it would be funny to post the picture as a comment to one of my graduation pics with something like "oh you've matured so much since this party". I deleted it when I saw it the next morning when I woke up (8 hours or so later) and I was pissed because both my SO and my extended family is super active on social media and there was no way that people didn't see it. I didn't have time to respond to her right away because my family was around and I didn't want to deal with drama, and I kind of forgot about it. I'm 95% sure that this was due to social cluelessness and not maliciousness.
Buuuut I just remembered that this happened though and I'm still kind of pissed about it. I personally think it's super inappropriate to post up "drunk pics" (regardless of whether or not the person is actually drunk) of other people without explicit permission. It was made even worse by the fact that it was during graduation season and a bunch of facebook acquaintances and relatives probably saw the pic. But it's been almost 2 months since it happened and I don't know if it's worth it to confront Ally at this point. I probably won't trust her in social situations in the future but what do I do now? | Friend posted a picture that paints me in a bad light on social media but I didn't talk to her about it back then. Do I confront my friend or just forget about it? |
t3_1lleyn | relationships | I [21/F] think my boyfriend [23/M] is cheating on me. I snooped through his phone and found a few things. What do you think, reddit? | While I know snooping is awful, I couldn't help myself. I noticed my boyfriend has been texting this one girl a little more than I like and I looked. I'm disgusted with myself, but this is what I found after my cursory glance at the conversation:
-he sent a picture of his face while he was drunk to her, and she complimented his appearance
-they have discussed how alike they are in personality
-while he was cooking me dinner one night, she asked him what was up and he merely mentioned he was making food. There was no mention of me whatsoever.
-there is the occasional use of the winky and smiley face.
-they talk occasionally, but not 24/7.
-From what I can tell, they haven't really seen each other lately or made plans.
What do you think reddit? Am I overly paranoid, or is this douche cheating on me?
And, what is your advice to me? (Don't tell me to not snoop, because I already feel so terrible about it. A relationship is built on trust but clearly I have none.) | I think my boyfriend's cheating on me, I looked at his phone, and he seems like he's chatting up someone else. Am I overreacting? |
t3_3xeb8c | relationships | I [15F] want to get the guy [17M] I like a gift, but not sure what to give him. | I met him in about August and from the moment I saw him I was smitten. He was cute, which encouraged me to approach him and I found out he was absolutely the definition of the perfect guy for me.
We got closer be we don't talk often since there's an age difference and we don't have many classes, but I want to get him something to show I appreciate being his friend.
Obviously being in highschool I don't have a lot of money. I kind of wanted to get him this Star Wars watch because he likes Star Wars but it was 20$ and I already spent around 45$ for my close friends, who I didn't spend nearly that much on.
I wouldn't be opposed to making him something, as that would definitely be moe meaningful, but I don't know what to make him that he would appreciate. I even thought of baking him cookies...
Some of the things he likes are: vaping, panic at the disco, Star Wars, music and theater in general, playing the guitar and piano (he has like three guitars and a bass already I think). | I want to get the guy I like a present for Christmas but not sure what to buy/make. Should I even do anything for him since we're not that close? Any advice would be appreciated. |
t3_3ji3rv | tifu | TIFU by sending my son to school covered in vaseline | Happened yesterday.
Was getting my toddler ready for preschool and noticed my wife had left out a tube of sun tan lotion (wasn't suntan lotion) right next to my son's shoes. Figured because it was a super sunny day she wanted me to lather him up since he goes outside a few times during his day.
I didn't think this was weird at all, but I noticed something was weird with the lotion, it was more like an ointment. It definitely had a kind of vaseline consistency. Whatever, I figured it was some all natural toddler sun ointment bullshit, so I proceed to lather up all his exposed parts; legs, arms, face, the works.
At this point my hands feel grimy as hell so I wash them, having to use dish soap to get the ointment off. At this point I realized I don't want to get any of this stuff on my clothes as I carry him out to the car, so I wrap him in a blanket. I drop him off at preschool like nothing is wrong.
Fast forward hours later, my wife calls me and asks me why I didn't bring the vaseline to preschool with him so the teachers had it for any bumps and bruises he might get. I said I didn't know anything about any vaseline, but I told her how proud I was of myself for being a good dad and covering him in the sun ointment she left out.
Then, as my wife starts laughing hysterically, it hit me. | Thought I was covering my son in sun tan lotion, ended up covering my sun in vaseline. Wanted to protect him from the sun, end up coating him in butter instead. |
t3_gde9h | self | Backpacking in Europe for 5 more weeks not sure if I have the cash. Advice if you have it. | Did numbers crunching after a few weeks and realizing everything was more expensive than I had thought. My girlfriend and I looked through our tour books (to double check) and it's was even more expensive than it even said. We rarely eat out. Usually have a free breakfast where we stay, no lunch, and I make dinner when we get back to the hostel. Have a 2 month train ticket paid for and we are staying in the cheapest hostels we can find and still live with.Wwilling to accept dirty but have left one I booked after we got there and it was a real janky part of town. If reddit has any advise beyond that it would be appreciated, especially if you have done this and know any hostels. We are in England right now then heading to France Italy Hungary and Romania. | know any cost saving trips wile traveling or cheap/decent hostels in England France Italy Hungary or Romania it would be appreciated. |
t3_33ypga | relationships | I (F15) am obsessed with my best friend (F15 also) | I never had a real, good, long lasting friendship before with someone who understood me. I have a bad relationship with my parents, no siblings, other friends are very troubled. I'm depressed and very negative.
In school, about a year ago, I met my best friend.
She understands me, cares about me, we have a great relationship. She makes me feel better about myself and life.
The thing is, I think I'm obsessed with her.
I think about her all the time, wherever I go I wish she was there, she's the center of my life. I want to tell her every single thing that happens, to share everything, I have no words for how important she is to me.
I get sad when I don't see her for even a day, if we don't talk a lot during that time I get desperate and depressed. When she sends me a message I lighten up even if it's after a long day of talking.
I thought it may be that I'm bi and in love with her, but that's just not that feeling. I don't think of her like that, I don't feel any attraction, I don't think it's that kind of love.
We both have boyfriends, I'm not jealous at all - I'm actually very happy for her, I like him as a person and a friend. I really like my boyfriend, but she's much more important and makes me way happier. It's not in the same way - I like him and it's different, it's just that she's my priority over everything.
I just don't know what it is and how to deal with that - it's not normal I think,and I don't want it to be a burden anymore, plus it's getting harder to hide it from her and others. | Obsessed with best friend, don't think I'm in love, don't know what's up and how to deal with it. |
t3_427jln | relationships | I [24F] want to backpack Central America for a few weeks but my [37M] boyfriend thinks I only want to go to party and sleep with other people and I can't convince him otherwise. | Ok Reddit here it goes!
I've been dating this guy for around 10 months now. We met while I was on vacation and things got hot and serious fast. It's honestly the most passionate relationship I've been in. I decided to move from my country to his country for a few months as I was fortunate enough to be able to take a leave of absence.
Things started off great and we even talked about marriage and kids in the future! I think we may have been caught up in the beginning of a relationship bliss. However, he still seems eager to rush into those things whereas I'm more hesitant and want to take it slower.
Over the past three months I've been yearning to go backpacking for a few weeks through Central America as I may not have the opportunity to do so again. I also want to prove to myself that I'm capable of something like that because normally I'm somewhat shy and reserved until you get to know me. This would be be outside of my comfort zone but I think it would do wonders for my confidence and really help me find myself especially since before I starting dating this guy I had just got out of a five year relationship.
I mentioned all this to my boyfriend, a few times actually, and this last time I brought it up he got really mad. He says he knows the backpacker lifestyle and it's all drugs and sex and that if I want to go backpacking he's breaking up with me. Now I know that backpacking can be like that if that's what you want to do but you can easily avoid it. I'm not just going to sleep with a random stranger because I can. I'm not into crazy partying either. I really just want to travel and see some of the amazing things that these countries offer! Tikal anyone?!
So I guess my question is, Is it selfish of me to want to go backpacking on my own while still in a relationship? | My boyfriend thinks the only reason I want to backpack is to have sex and do drugs. It's not but he will break up with me if I go. |
t3_2np7du | tifu | TIFU by hitting Reply-All | I work at a software company, and we just celebrated a milestone release with cake. Naturally, someone sent out an email and said, CAKE'S READY.
So, we all enjoy some cake. It was pretty damn good. Now I go back to reddit, see what's new. I find this little [GEM] in /r/TheSimpsons, and I think it's pretty damn applicable to how I feel after 2 pieces of cake.
Now, my super and I are pretty tight, and he was the one who originally sent the CAKE'S READY email. So, I hit the Reply button, paste the link to the GIF, and hit send.
Here's where I realized my mistake. The email took a while to send, and it hits me: when he sent the original message, it was to the entire company. And, when I put the GIF of Homer's fat jiggling and hit reply, it also went to the entire company. Since then, I've been getting "Nicely done" from people I know, and awkward looks from people I don't. Facepalm. | Before you send an animated gif of Homer's [fat jiggle] make sure it's not to your entire company. |
t3_3clx3x | relationships | Me (17) and my gf (17) are arguing over me remembering what films, even though I'm sure we haven't watched them. | I'm in a relationship with this girl which has been for about 8 months and during this time we have watched many different films and TV programmes.
However during this time we have apparently watched a few films that I have no memory of watching, I have tried to recollect the memories by watching them again but nothing. She says she is sure we have watched them and even says bits about them from what we talked about whilst watching but I can't remember any of these conversations either.
She is very upset with me and mad with me every time I bring it up but I just want to get to the bottom of it and we are getting nowhere from all the arguing, I have said to her that maybe she had watched them with someone else before me but she is taking none of it and I am seriously questioning my memory and whether there is something wrong with me as I can't recall anything. However with one of the films she says she is 70% sure we watched it together but I 100% know I haven't seen it because I remember wanting to watch it but never getting round to it.
Another thing is that we have a list of what films we want to watch, and one of the films that we've apparently watched is on the list not crossed off so this makes me wonder that if we had watched it, why would we have not crossed it off, she just said that we must have forgotten.
This is stressing me and her both out and I just want to solve it. I can't take it any longer. | gf and I are arguing over me not remember watching films, am concerned about mental health. What should I do? |
t3_33d7kg | relationships | Me [22 M] with my friend [22 F] with benefits have been together for over a month, need advice for the future | Hi there! I [22 M] will try to give an overview of our 'relationship' so you would be able to relate to my situation.
A little bit than a month ago, I have started having an intimate contact with my flatmate [22 F]. I understand that I shouldn't start anything with flatmates because it never ends well, but, oh well, it has already happened.
Firstly (approx. from October, 2014), it started as a friendly relationship where we did simple fun stuff e.g. having dinner together or watching movies. About a month ago, we began to spend much more time together and it quickly escalated to sleeping together.
Right after this happened, we had a talk and she claimed that she is not ready for a serious relationship (because she had a boyfriend few months ago and has not got over him yet). At that point, I was also happy about this situation because I didn't feel like committing to a one person anyways.
Okay, so that continued for a while until in a one party I saw her kissing another guy. She claimed it was a friendly kiss and did not mean anything. I felt tremendously jealous and slightly devastated even though I didn't have right to feel so. Thus I realised that I actually have started developing some feelings towards her.
So guess what, she offers me to properly start all dating thing. And I wasn't sure at that point if I want it. So I basically just said 'let's wait and see how we feel about it later'.
Fast forward to now, she again claims that she doesn't want to date, uses her previous relationship as a main reason for that, and feels quite happy to just merely keeping physical stuff without any exclusivity.
I, on the other hand, know that I have developed some feelings and I am not sure if I can continue that without getting hurt.
For this reason, I am asking for an arbitrary opinion, genuine advice and, if you ever been in a similar situation, please share your own experience. It will be greatly appreciated! Also, if you have any questions about anything, please go ahead. | Started friends with benefits relationship with a flatmate, I may be developing feelings, wondering what should I do about it. |
t3_4c35q0 | relationships | I [30m] have a ring to give my gf [28f] of 3 years, and just found evidence of cheating on her phone that happened at the start of our relationship. | So I don't know what to do and havn't asked her about it yet. Maybe no actual cheating with her ex [28m], who is also a mate of mine :/, or maybe it's still happening now.
She had texts on her phone from him dating back to when we started. Felt shit reading her phone but worse now.
Feeling like I don't trust her or even know her anymore and that if I brought this to light and asked for answers that she'd lie to not have to deal with it.
Sex is usually only when she wants and maybe once a week at best. She says she'd be more into our reltaionship (more inimate) if I hurried up and married her. So theres pressure from her to marry that i dont quite understand.
On the surface it's a good relationship and I love her. Ive asked her Dad for her hand and even told my family I was proposing soon. Shes actually a really great person and this may all be because she wasnt certain about us just at the beginning.
Think I need to deal with this first tho. Any guidance would be great I can't talk to anyone about it cos all our friends are linked and duno who I can trust to give me answers/not spill the beans. | about to propose and find txt evidence of cheating or at least intention to cheat but from the start of our relationship. |
t3_54uhss | legaladvice | [CA] Do I need to protect myself from a competitor if they shared their business plans with me with no NDA/legal documentation whatsoever? | About two weeks ago I met Bob through a mutual friend. Bob is involved in a business with some major inefficiencies and we discussed these. During this conversation, it seems like we both came to a similar idea for a website (independently - we didn't say anything to each other about it) that would potentially save a lot of time and resources in managing certain aspects of this business.
A couple days later, I got his contact information through a mutual acquaintance and scheduled a meeting with him to ask some generic details about the business he's involved in - time spent on certain tasks by employees, sites involved with this work, length of training involved in doing these tasks, etc. Nothing proprietary or directly related to his existing company.
At the meeting, Bob brought along another party with only an hour's advance notice without discussing it with me prior (for no real reason that I can discern). He then proceeds to completely ignore the fact that I was the one that scheduled this meeting and instead asked me about my experience as a developer and what I specialized in. After replying, he said he wanted to pitch a software idea to me, but that he would like for me to keep it private. I agreed verbally, but no NDAs or legal agreements of any sort were signed or presented. He then proceeded to explain the entire software structure to me and how he envisioned it. A lot of it was overlapping with what I had in mind myself beforehand, but I didn't mention this - I only gave him rough answers to whether certain features were feasible or not technically speaking. I understand this is probably where I should've stopped and bailed, but hindsight is 20/20. He asked me if I would be interested in developing this software for a fixed rate (contract basis) and I replied I would get back to him in a couple days. So, here I am now. Ideally, I would just continue on my original plan and develop this software as I originally planned without his involvement whatsoever - but I'm wondering if I need to cover my rear at all legally - is there anything he can turn around and get me with? Am I obligated to do anything?
This is in California. | Do I need to be concerned about protecting myself legally from someone claiming I "stole" their business plan/idea if there was no NDA or legal documentation involved? |
t3_z4br4 | AskReddit | After dating a girl on and off for 3 years straight, I can't seem to let her go. Anyone have advice for how to put it down and move on? | I have dated the same girl since senior year of high school on and off and we are now both starting our junior years in college. We go to different schools and it the distance is tough. We never fight, and that being said, the reason for our on and off relationship is that we have different religious beliefs. She is Mormon and *ding ding* you guessed it, I'm the classic reddit atheist. It's not that I'm atheist; she loves me for who I am. However, she wants to marry in the temple and therefore, can not marry me. Basically I can't do the on and off thing anymore if it isn't going anywhere. The only problem is that I can't seem to put down the phone from talking to her for more than a couple days. Anyone have some useful advice for really cutting the line on this one? | Highschool sweetheart and I don't have a future even though we are in love. Need tips on how to move on and FAST. |
t3_2txut3 | relationship_advice | I'm [26/f] suffering from depression and anxiety and wondering how to find a partner who will support me | My boyfriend (30/m) recently broke up with me after 3 years because I've been battling mild depression and anxiety for a few months. I'm working on my stuff with medication and a psychologist. It's not as serious as some - I don't self-harm, and I'm not anxious to the point where I cannot leave the house. Mostly, I forget that I can pull myself out of situations and I make mountains out of mole hills when I'm anxious, and have the occasional panic attack. I am focusing on myself right now, but I NEVER want to be just dropped by someone I love again because of depression and anxiety. | What qualities do I look for in a person to try and figure out if they will support me through mild anxiety and depression? |
t3_20y27n | relationships | Me [27/F] with my [30 /M] have been dating for six months & I want to break up with him | My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months and everything should be fine. In fact, if it weren't for my set of problems, it'd be lovely.
But the major problem is that he's 30 years old. Still lives with his family (mom & aunt). Doesn't drive his own car, borrows his aunt's. And this is bothering me to no end because I have my own place, have my own car.
Oh, and I have a steady job. He doesn't. He freelances.
My problem is that this is the best guy I've ever dated. Seriously, he has a heart of gold and I cannot help but feel like I'm being a materialistic bitch in doing this. He is sweet, he is kind, we have fantastic sexual chemistry, but I'm starting to get depressed at the fact that I think my boyfriend, as great as he is in other aspects, is kind of a loser. This has seriously begun to effect how I feel about him, even how attracted I am to him! He's a very attractive guy.
See, I saved up, moved out of my parent's and got myself a newer car because I wanted to be a good mate. I wanted to be taken seriously. When I first met him, I was under the impression this was a temporary thing or that he's looking, but I'm starting to get the impression that being a freelance/comic book artist is all he wants to do. And that's great! Hell, I'd love to be a unicorn trainer full time, but that's not gonna work out for me either.
See, I know his work search is BS. I know it has to be. I do the same as he does career-wise, and I've never been out of a job. He's far more talented than I am. So whats up?
:/ I feel awful doing this but what would be the best way to tell him these things without causing a lot of harm? | I'm tired of my boyfriend not having a job. How do I break up with him in the kindest way possible? |
t3_3rph8o | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of two years. What thinking should guys have when their girlfriend can hardly orgasm with them? | We've been dating a little over a year now, and things are usually pretty great. The only problem is when we get around to having sex, she can't really orgasm with me.
She's said she is very comfortable with me. We've been to porn festivals together, we're pretty light hearted people. We openly talk about masturbation and so on.
It's just that she can't get off with me. We've tried 30 min+ of for-play with about the same amount of time(I don't keep track to the minute) of going down on her, clit stimulation during sex, just clit stimulation, and having sex with a vibrator.
I can tell she's starting to feel bad because she says I make her feel really good, and wants to show it but can't. It's starting to get to me as well. I feel I'm not good enough, not attractive enough, and so on. Is it bad of me to want to experience an orgasm with her? I'd love see her in orgasmic bliss regularly, as she does with me. How should I think about this? I'm starting to resent the fact that she can't orgasm with me, and I don't like it. | Girlfriend can't orgasm with me, I feel bad, she feels bad. Trying to figure out how to think about this. |
t3_2c6qyx | relationships | My [20M] Gf[20F] all of a sudden didnt want me to go down on her, should I be alarmed. | My GF and I have been going through a rough patch, today she kind of took longer than usual to come over and when we were about to have sex and I dont know why but the thought of her cheating passed through my mind and I remembered something a lot of people told me.
If a girl who your with ever turns head down its because shes had sex with another guy, so I offered to eat her out and she immediately says "NO" and automatically I asked her why she wouldn't let me and she said this exactly "I didnt shower in 2 days!" and I know for a fact she always showers so I told her that was clearly a lie, she then said "I havent showered since yesterday around 3", I told her that I knew she wasn't dirty and her pussy wasn't smelling so I didnt care and she still denied me. I even told her about the belief that if a girl turns head down its because she fucked someone else right before. She still didnt let me.
This wouldn't be weird for me but she has NEVER before turned head down. EVER. She was fine with having sex but she would not let me down there. The way she reacted it seemed like she was trying to find any excuse for me not to go down on her. My question is if I should be concerned that this might be a sign that she cheated on me today. | Girlfriend didnt let me go down on her for the first time in 2 years and acted real nervous when I asked why not, and today she took longer than usual to get to my house. Could she have cheated ... |
t3_p6b03 | AskReddit | Recently engaged - need some advice with something... | Ok, so I recently moved from Northern New York to Charleston (for those not in the US - about 15 hours/700 miles away for a really good job and my girlfriend of five years agreed to move with me. We knew we'd be getting engaged soon and I ended up proposing in October.
Things were busy at work from October till Christmas - so we are just talking about wedding planning now. She is dead set in having the wedding in Charleston but my family wants to have it in New York.
I don't want to upset anyone here - but I'm not sure how to handle this. 95% of our friends and family are from upstate NY and it would inconvenience a ton of them to fly to Charleston for a weekend wedding and we probably would have a very small showing (at least from my side of the family). On the other hand, it would be really difficult planning a wedding from 14 hours away.
Anyone have advice on the matter? | recently engaged and recently moved. fiance wants wedding to be 14 hours from where we grew up and my family wants it closer to home. I have yet to form an opinion on the matter. |
t3_412yg3 | relationships | Me [39F] with my friend [60'sF] Have been house and cat sitting (approx 20 cats). She has now been gone the time frame agreed but is showing no sign of returning, and is now not responding to emails.... | Hi, I'm stuck as what to do here, so any impartial advice much appreciated!
My 'friend' (I'm using the term loosely as of now) and I both live in rural Italy. I normally live in the neighbouring village, 10 minutes away. She needed to return the her native New Zealand for a duration of 2-3 months and as I was only renting my house, it made sense for both of us for me to stay in her house while she was away as she has approx 20 cats that need feeding etc. Plus I also do house-sitting, key holding and pet sitting as a job.
The problem is that we're now at the 3 month point and she is showing no signs of returning, I gave her a months notice of my intention to leave at the start of February to which she agreed but she's now stopped responding to emails and facebook messages (I know she's seen them).
I've stayed here rent-free but have paid my usage of the utility bills and my food etc. We're now into the coldest months of the year here, and her house is huge (15 rooms). Her central heating system is faulty, and half of the radiators are unable to be turned off.
It is now costing me more to live here just paying gas and electric than if I'm at my new place paying rent plus bills.
She was sending me money for cat food so that wasn't an issue and if it wasn't for the cats I would lock up the house and leave. She also has a dog who has been staying with a family in my village, but they're now angry at her failure to return and are wanting me to take the dog too..
I've sent a final email stating that I can no longer financially stay, but no response. And its not just the money, I know no-one in this village and if we get the usual 4ft of snow I risk being stuck here, plus the time it takes to clean up after 20 cats whilst I also have to work. I've just about had enough! | House sitting for for friend for agreed 3 months but she's not showing signs of returning, has 20 cats here so I can't just leave...help! |
t3_zex41 | AskReddit | Does anyone even consider a third party president a possibility? | Why is it that no one even seems to be considering third party candidates for president? Is it that the lack of money keeps these often times more impressive candidates from coming to the public eye? Why are candidates like, Jill Stein of the Green Party (who at this point in time is going to be on all ballots except for about 17) completely overlooked? I hear people whine about having to choose between "two evil candidates". Don't these people realize that there are more than two options? That there are more than two candidates that are qualified for this position and may even align with their view more precisely? If the case is that people just aren't informed about other candidates, why is it that the internet hasn't raised the issue? We have made our opinions well known on issues like SOPPA, where we clearly made a point that we do not want to be oppressed. Yet, isn't letting the media distort news and facts for their own purpose in a way also oppression? It is obvious that there is a lot of power behind the internet. Also the internet for the most part is free, unlike expensive TV advertisements that candidates like Mitt Romney can easily afford. Has America really gotten so lazy as to let people just buy political offices? Doesn't anyone think that there is something wrong with the way that we are letting our elections run? I just think that there has to be some better way that we can educate each other on the truth of the issues and the candidates (all of them) with out the distortion of the media. What do you think Reddit? Is there something more important we can do with the power to share information almost instantly on the internet, or are we too busy looking at pictures of cats? | Why don't people consider third party candidates as a viable option, and why doesn't the internet use its power to spread reliable and factual information about candidates who can't afford the billion dollar advertisements that Mitt Romney and other candidates can buy? |
t3_3odktu | tifu | TIFU Caught my mum sniffing a year of my semen [NSFW] | TIFU. Well I did, but it was as a teenager 8 or so years ago.
There was a similar post to this which caught my eye and reminded me of my own sticky story.
I used to do what everyone does; bang one out. Often. Before going to bed, I would kneel in front of by 14" Bush TV, bash the bishop then go to sleep, leaving my splaff to soak into the carpet and 'disappear'. Well, all was well and good for like 12 months until the carpet wasn't having it anymore. I think the term is saturated. I started walking up in the mornings and there still being a visible outline of my gloop on the carpet. This makes me realise that wow I've saturated a fugging axminster carpet, that's some pretty chunky fabric, I should probably find an alterative store for my seed.
'Lo and behold a few months pass and the 'area' on the cream carpet was becoming darker, stiffer. My mum notices this, being a massive clean freak, and accuses me of spilling beer with friends and doing a shitty job of cleaning it up. Beer? Don't know where she got that idea from. I asked. I shouldn't have. "Well it smells yeasty". Gag. She then gets on her hands and knees with a scrubbing brush and hot water and begins scrubbing away in front of me. She's sniffing it, she's sniffing her fingers trying to establish what... what...bloody vintage it is?? Mum it's about a years worth of splooge. I try my best to make her stop and let me take over but she's having none of it. Her nose is pretty much in it. It's like a cardboard bukkake on my maker.
I should stop, the memories are making me cringe. Anyway that was about 8 years ago and we still have the same carpet. | Used the same 1m² of carpet as a cumcatcher for a year. My mum liquidises it and inhales. |
t3_2kqjgi | relationships | Me [21 F] with my Brother In Law [29 M] of six years, creeps me out and makes me uncomfortable. | My partner and I have been together for six years and we currently live with his parents to save money while we go to university. We are looking for places to move out as we just cant stand living here any longer. My partners brother (29) lives there as well. I have always gotten on well with his family but have always felt very uncomfortable around his brother, he does things that I find inappropriate:
- Once when I walked from the bathroom to the bedroom in a towel he told me "dont do that because it makes me think *things* about you".
- Asks for hugs all the time
- Used to ask me for advice regarding sex and told me something about his genitals
- Stares constantly, If im sitting in the lounge room I can constantly feel his eyes on me. Its so uncomfortable
- The bathroom is right next to his bedroom and hear him turn off his music when I go to the bathroom like he's trying to listen to me?
I also know that he was found with child porn on his computer many years ago (didnt know this when we moved in), so I dont like being around him at all, but he is at home almost always because he doesnt work. I was abused as a child and I find it *extremely* uncomfortable to be around him. It makes my whole body seize up because I think of him like a pedophile basically.
I don't really know what I'm asking but it is taking my partner and I ages to find somewhere to move to. My partner feels the same way as I do and doesn't like his brother at all. I feel like I'm going crazy because I cant really call him out on staring at me or anything cause he would just deny it, what should I do? | Partner and I living with his parents and brother, his brother is inappropriate and makes me extremely uncomfortable because he was found with child porn and I was abused as a child. |
t3_1gttor | relationships | Me[17M] and my friend [18F] are pretty close. I'm wondering if I'm crossing any lines? | Writing this, the idea "if it sounds rude, it's probably rude" is running through my mind, so I figure I might as well make sure. So my I hang out with this friend a lot, and we talk or text the whole day just about every day (summer) and talk a lot on non-summer days as well. I'm not attached to her in any really intimate way, and honestly can't see her as anything other than a really great friend (honestly, thinking of her another way would be like thinking as such with a sister), but we do kinda share everything with each other and are really close. I think we've known each other for about three years now (first person to meet her when she moved here).
But here's the kicker. She has a boyfriend who's a great guy, and she hangs out with him most days of the summer as well. Now she clearly loves this guy, and I don't really care about the dating thing because I'm not into her like that and am glad she's happy. The thing I'm wondering about is if it's rude that I spend so much time texting or talking to her while out of state (and hanging out when in state) when she has a boyfriend? He doesn't care, so I figure I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but hey, doesn't hurt to be sure (I don't know much about relationships haha).
We don't talk about sex (well not with each other) or anything intimate like that and she knows I'm crushing on another girl (oof that's a whole another story; I should make a unique post about
that =p), so I'm wondering if anything is off here or if I'm just overreacting. I'm curious is all. | I hang out with a friend most days for a long while, but she has a boyfriend so I don't know if I'm crossing any boundaries. |
t3_lfy3f | AskReddit | Discovered creepypasta yesterday and now I can't sleep. What should I do? | Eh, alright. I'm totally unsure of whether or not this is the right place to put this, but I'm having serious issues with sleeping right now because of this, and I'd like some advice ASAP.
I discovered creepypasta yesterday and read and saw some scary-ass stuff in the past 24 hours. I didn't sleep so well last night. Today I perused snopes for a while, and some of the stuff on there scared me as well (freaky legends and stuff). In addition to more creepypasta today, along with /r/nosleep and just browsing reddit for scary shit, I'm super-paranoid right now.
I keep feeling like something is right behind me; I turn around to look, and then as I'm turning to face forward again, I keep thinking that I see things out of the corner of my eye. I keep imagining things grabbing me by the shoulders, and forcing me to turn around and look at their scary, distorted, creepy faces.
I know none of it's real (and even if it is, it's not like it's going to physically affect me or anything - I'm not going to be dragged into the darkness by some demon or something), but it's still scaring the crap out of me.
It may sound silly, but I'm going to sit in the bathroom all night tonight with the light on, where it's bright, I can see everything in the room at once, I feel safer from noises that I hear during the night. I can't handle being alone in the dark right now.
I've been like this before. A few years back I read a bunch of scary stories that, accompanied with grotesque/creepy drawings, scared me shitless and I had a horrible time sleeping for a couple weeks.
lol, I don't know why I do this, I know I'm going to get myself all scared and stuff...but it's just fun to read and look at the stuff I guess. | I scared myself reading stories and now I'm super-paranoid and can't sleep. What should I do? |
t3_ibxn6 | Advice | Issue with friends | I'm a 19 year old dude. I'm basically a loner. I do have friends, but they are not really friends. They were high school friends. They say hi by texting me now and then, but don't want to hang out with me. The only person I hang out with is my best friend. Whenever my friends hang out they would always leave me out. I did not find out about this until my best friend said "hey remember that time herpy did that derp and we derpity derped?" during the end of senior year. He would do this everytime they would leave me out and said "why weren't you there?" I always replied with "I didn't really feel like it" to save my self some embarrassment. I want to know who in my group of friends is the mastermind that is leaving me out. I have a hunch that it is all of them except my best friend because he always tell me everything and is not so bright about excluding things that were intended to be secrets. After a year now, he knows something's up but I give him the look to not talk about it because it'll just make me depressed. I know that I'm very quiet at times and have speech issues that make people feel like I'm angry at them but I'm really not. | Friends don't invite me to social occasions but keep in contact with me. I want to know who is not inviting me and if they are really my friends. I am also socially awkward if anyone want's to help on that also. |
t3_13su0q | relationships | Me [M/20] in love with good friend [F/20], not two-sided | I[M/20] have known this girl[F/20] for almost two years now. We we're in the same class at school and I became friends with her over time. Me and her it was a sort of "good" match. We always sat next to eachother, made eachother laugh and told eachother alot of things we don't tell other people. (Atleast I do) and I started to have feelings for her. I kept that for myself for half a year almost and eventually told her but. Then it struck, she just saw me as good friends and nothing more. Ever since I just pretended nothing was wrong and it never happened, we just remained good friends almost best friends even.
We go out together alot with some other people, but even now I can't stop helping myself with the fact that I can't stop thinking about her all the time and be jealous about the fact she started dating someone.
I'm stuck in this loop to the point it's driving me insane almost.. | ! Me [M/20] in love with good friend, she [F/20] doesn't love me back but just wants to be good friend and started dating someone. Me can't stop thinking about her. |
t3_h8tis | self | Just had the best night of my life. | Hey reddit. It's 4:35 AM and I haven't been to sleep yet. Today is my last day of highschool. Earlier this morning, a large part of my senior class and I(about 100 people all together) met at an absolutely empty Ihop at 2 AM and had pancakes, the look on the supervisors face was absolutely priceless. From there we drove to school, hopped our fence, and proceeded to paint what we call "the rock". It's really nothing more than that, just a big rock near our baseball field that various sports teams and people sneak in at night to paint throughout the year. But however insignificant it may be, it was still special. When we finished painting the rock we broke into our new(this year) turf football field and had a massive game of ultimate frisbee. It truly was the greatest night of my life. That's really it, thanks for reading my story (: | My senior class flooded an empty Ihop at 2 AM, then broke into our school painted a rock, and played ultimate frisbee on our new turf football field. |
t3_3akma6 | relationships | How do I (20F) approach my best guy friend "Gordon" (21M) about his recent cutting? | A little background: I just moved to a new state about 5 months ago. I've become very close with my neighbors: roommates "Smith" (31M), "Daisy" (26F) and "Jordon" (21M), who live in an apartment near mine. Jordon is in love with Daisy, and Daisy tells Jordon she feels the same way, but is in no place for a relationship right now (Daisy has some addiction problems and tends to choose older men who are usually picked because they supply the alcohol or drugs). This has been going on since I met them a few months ago and Jordon refuses to give up chasing Daisy, who is very beautiful and sexual and charming.
Recently, however, Daisy has been coming home from work acting like a giddy schoolgirl (her words) and claiming to have fallen in love with a coworker (41M). Jordon has been moody and his roommate Smith (who I'm dating) tells me that the last time Jordon came home, his arms had cut marks on them. We knew Jordon cut in the past, but we haven't seen any evidence that it was still happening/ happening again until now.
Right now, Daisy and Jordon aren't really talking, so we can't ask her to talk to Jordon. Smith has known Jordon only a couple months longer than I have and isn't as close to him as I am (Jordon tells me everything and says that he wouldn't be where he is in his life today if he didn't have me to talk to). I want to talk to Jordon and help him any way I can, without making him embarrassed or defensive.
Has anybody been in this situation before? I need all the advice you can offer!
My phone is dying and I may not be able to respond to questions until tonight/tomorrow. | My (20F) best friends (21M) love interest (26F) recently fell for someone else after months of leading on my smitten best friend. How do I approach best friend about his recent cutting? |
t3_25plpf | relationships | Me [24 M] broke up with my girlfriend [23 F] of 4 1/2 years, I think I might want to reconcile, doesn't feel like it should be the end and the spark is still there. | My girlfriend and I had been together for 4 1/2 years, got together young/highschool sweat-heart kind of deal. We lived together for over half of this time and always got along great and had fun together. We loved going hiking and going away together for the weekend and things like that. The past 6 months we were both busy and neglected our relationship and it turned into more of a friendship I guess. I broke up with her 2 months ago because I felt like I was possibly missing out on a lot of things, dating other girls and having more freedom. She was only my second girlfriend and by far my longest relationship.
She didn't take it well and it was really hard to do… we never fight and it was completely out of the blue but I just panicked when I thought about the next few years and committing really long-term to her.
We've barely talked over the past 2 months at my request but I'm starting to genuinely regret my decision. Not just because I miss her, I don't think, but because I've had the time to get some perspective and I can see that whatever issues we had are common and can be dealt with together. Whenever we do talk the spark is still there and I feel like I'm still in love with her and like I've made a huge mistake. I miss her everyday and nothing is able to raise my spirits, she has tried to cheer me up but it only makes it harder because she's being so great about it and I feel so guilty for hurting someone who's only ever loved me fully.
Are there any couples out there who have gotten back together after leaving a long-term relationship? She has said that she wants to get back together and can forgive me and we can work past it but I'm scared she'll never see me the same way again. | Together for 4 1/2 years, broke up two months ago, still love her and want to work on things - has this happened to you and how did it go? |
t3_53w2ub | relationships | I [25F] slept with someone other than FWB [35M] and now he wants nothing to do with me. | My FWB and I have known each other for over a year. He's been there for me purely as a friend for most of this, listening to a lot of my problems, giving me advice. He was one of my most trusted friends.
Recently, I broke up with my ex. Not long after this happened we got intoxicated and confessed our attraction. We slept together shortly after and continued to do so for a few weeks. We never had a conversation about the boundaries or expectations of our relationship. I just assumed it was casual.
After about a month or so he stopped replying to messages, if I went to visit him like I usually did he wouldn't answer. We work together, and would only speak if I went out of my way to do so. I kind of felt like I was wasting my time so just resigned our relationship to friendship and got on with my business.
After about 2 weeks of this, we end up meeting at an event and talking about what had happened. He has chronic pain and had been on medication during this period, and he explained that this was why he acted the way he did. We slept together again.
So the problem is, during the 2 weeks we weren't talking, I went on holiday, got drunk and slept with someone else. Nothing serious, just bad decision making. Of course I told my FWB, but it wasn't until after we'd slept together and he was furious. He now wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I understand why and I feel shit for making him feel this way. We just had no definitions as to what was happening and I thought our 'thing' had naturally run its course.
So my questions- was I terrible for acting the way I did? Do you think our friendship is repairable? | Good friend turned FWB now hates me because I slept with someone else. I feel horrible for hurting his feelings, but I thought our fling was done. How should I proceed? |
t3_3jq357 | relationships | I [22 M] found out my GF [19 F] of 8 months, is depressed and is thinking about cutting again through less than scrupulous means. | I woke up late at night and couldn't go back to sleep, decided to go outside for a quick smoke. Grabbed my girlfriend's phone as a flashlight as mine wasn't readily available.
Turns out there was a message from one of her ex's. I know it's bad to snoop, I know I shouldn't have looked through their conversation and respected her privacy, but I'm a deeply flawed human being just like the rest of us who has had every relationship I've ever been in end with me being cheated on and... just needed to be sure.
Seems he was looking for a booty call so I did the disrespectful thing and scrolled *up*. From just a few days ago she had talked to him about how she was in a dark place and didn't feel like she could open up to me and was thinking about cutting again.
I desperately want to be able to help her with this, but I can't tell her I snooped on her. She's seemed distant the last few weeks and I've tried to ask her if anything is wrong or if there was anything I could help her with but everything comes back as being fine.
I'm also a little hurt that she could share that with someone else but not with me. | Snooped my girlfriend's phone, found out she's thinking of cutting again. How to help without revealing what a despicable, distrustful human being I am? |
t3_27fe7p | relationships | How do I [22M] deal with my Dad [54M], who is clowning around to the point of embarrassment? | Hello,
I am posting this in light of events both recent and recurring. Ever since I can remember, my Dad has always liked to joke. Immature things like nicknames, lame jokes, etc. It was always annoying but I could brush it off because it was just around the house.
However, whenever we're in public or around other people it doesn't stop. I'm afraid to have friends over or introduce my girlfriend because of how relentless and annoying it is.
Also, sometimes I'll go with him to play soccer with his team mates. He does not shut up. Every minute he's yelling some dumb joke or nickname, and I can see that the other guys are either laughing out of pity or just getting plain annoyed.
Just a couple of hours ago I saw one of the guys at a barber shop. First thing he says is "your Dad still cracking jokes?" I have had enough. I know it might sound like an overreaction or a little harsh, but I don't want to be embarrassed of my Dad. He's a good guy, but this needs to stop. | My Dad makes lame jokes and nicknames to me, my friends, his peers. People don't take him seriously and I'm embarrassed to go out with him. What do I do? |
t3_21kone | relationships | How do I [M19] stop relying on my ex [F18] emotionally? It only hurts her. | My ex is also my best friend, she is doing her own thing and has a lot of friends but I don't and only really have her. She is an amazing person and really my only friend. Because i have been relying on her so much, and her on me, it put a strain on our friendship. That coupled with hooking up frequently led me to develop feelings for her I know she doesn't have for me.
She knows I have feelings for her and it hurt her because she felt whenever she hooked up with someone that she was a whore and a bitch as it would hurt me. We talked about it and agreed to take a break from talking for a while as me having feelings for her and relying on her emotionally hurt her and constricted her. Which is not what I want to do.
The problem is I now think when she said we should stop talking "for a while" she meant forever and I can't stop freaking out. And now I don't know if she ever wants to be friends again or even misses me. She has troubles of her own and I feel I was unfair to rely on her as much as I did.
Before her I had huge social anxiety and did not have a friend for over 2 years, just working out and studying all day. And I am worried that it is starting to happen again. | I need to get over her and stop being so overbearing so that we can be friends again, what can I do? |
t3_2upki3 | relationship_advice | I [28] disliked being with her [20] but still crushed after being dumped | Relationship was about a year long. We always argued a bit-I think that's just our personalities to some extent. It was never anything we weren't able to talk about later. Still it got to the point where I'd often rather be by myself than see her.
Finally things got bad enough that I broke up with her but immediately regretted it. But she wouldn't take me back this time. Saying she saw a future with us, just not now, etc...
Why am I still so miserable and heartbroken? So many times I wanted to end it but wouldn't accept giving up but also deep down wished she would. I'm lonely sure, but I would have been lonely then as well. Why can't I just move past this? Why don't I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders? Instead I feel like I lost the love of my life and am dying to hear from her again.
It's been almost a month now. | it's over, and I thought it was what I've wanted for a while now. But now that it's happened, I'm devastated and want nothing but to hear from her and keep trying to make it work. |
t3_1i7sa9 | relationships | I[18M] am off to college, while she[17F] is starting senior year of highschool. do we stay together? | First, I'll explain our highschool situation. I am in a grade higher than her. I'm going to a college a bit more than 3hrs (driving) away. So, already, I won't be seeing her for much of the year. On top of that, we attended a private highschool boarding school. So we don't go home to the same cities during breaks (summer/spring break). We live on opposite coasts, in fact. Her parents are also super protective and won't let her fly out to visit me.
My question is simple, do we try to make it work? She says she wants to try to go to my college, but I'm not sure if it's genuine. I'm not sure she is choosing the college based on the ideal academics, or because I'm there. I don't want her choosing her college based on which one her SO goes to. Then again, she seems to really like the college.
I don't want to drag out a relationship, all through summer, all through my first semseter of college, if she ends up choosing a different college to go to in the end, or doesn't get accepted to mine. I'd pass up all that freshman college fun just to find out that she isn't going to my college anyway. And even if she does get in, I'd have to wait the whole rest of the year plus the next summer to see her.
We also need to take into account the trust and jealousy. I know she is probably worried sick about me going to college with all those easy girls, and I'm just as worried because I know the guys at that highschool will hit on her the first chance they get. Is it worth all that worry and possible arguments?
We skype/text frequently, and I'm pretty sure I could visit her from time to time while she's at boarding school, but is that enough? | I'm going to college, she's starting senior year of highschool. Long distance relationship, but we might not see each other again anyway. Stay together? |
t3_3vn2z5 | legaladvice | [MN] Franchisor "terminated" me. Sending mutual termination agreement in mail. Options? | Background:
After paying the non-refundable 20k franchise fee, I had some altercations with the franchisors employees during week 1 training and I also told them altercations I will make to their business plan against their strong *suggestion* to not pursue my ideas. According to the Franchise Agreement I did not violate any terms that they could terminate me for.
On the last day of the 1 week training we had a meeting where the said we have decided to terminate you, we will send a mutual termination agreement in the mail later this week and will refund your 20k. Here is where I need some help..
**1. If I decided to NOT sign the mutual termination, can I legally still open this franchise even though the franchisor would be pissed off? 2. Do mutual termination agreements usually contain a clause pertaining to Release of Contract (I need this to get out of the non-compete within the franchise agreement I signed). 3. Please don't judge me on this non-legal question, view it from a business perspective not a moral perspective. They really don't want me to tarnish their brands image in a new market they are actively trying to expand in, basically they do want my name associated with their brand. If I was to ask for lets say...50k instead of 20k to buy my signature, do you see any ways besides them saying no that this could backfire in my face? | Franchise wants to terminate me - sending mutual termination agreement. I didn't violate anything that I could be terminated for. What are my options? |
t3_118k83 | relationships | My boyfriend [21m] of 2 years didn't invite me [18f] to his 21st birthday party. | I'm 18f and my boyfriend, who I've been with for over 2 years, recently turned 21. He was originally going to have his party this Saturday, the 13th. I told him that I could definitely come. I planned to get him something nice to drink, spend the night, and I was really looking forward to it. (Just to clarify - this party was at his house, not at a bar. And he had other underage people there, so my age wasn't a factor in any of these plans.)
Well, this Monday I picked him up to hang out because it was his actual birthday. On the ride to my house he starts talking about his party, and in an *"oh, by the way"* kind of manner, he informed me plans had changed and he had it that Saturday, the 6th, instead. So obviously I asked him why he hadn't invited me, and he said it was because he didn't think I could come. But he knew I wasn't busy Saturday and I'd already told him I'd be able to attend, yet somehow this is his defense.
After explaining to him how hurt and insulted I was, he *did* apologize. But I'm still not happy with him, and now *he's* upset at *me* for not accepting his excuse.
I don't really know what to do. I don't want to break up with him, but it's like he doesn't even understand why I'm still upset with him. Sometimes it takes more than a couple of hours to get over when someone you love hurts you. I guess I'm just looking for other people's point of view on the situation. How serious do you think this is, and how should I handle it? | My boyfriend rescheduled his 21st birthday party and didn't bother to invite me to it. Says it's because he thought I couldn't come, but he already knew I could. Don't know what to do. |
t3_33r2zf | cats | Should we adopt a kitten when we already have two dogs? (Xpost from r/pets) | My SO and I (both 21) have two dogs. I rescued them about 7 months ago, a 6 month old chihuahua and an 8 year old pug. They were a LOT of work, especially the puppy. 7 months later and we have this wonderful equilibrium. They're the sweetest dogs and I love them, so does my SO. They love all other animals and have NEVER been aggressive.
We live in 2/2 apartment that's roomy. In about 4 months we'll have an extra empty room that we're turning into a dog room/office. We have the money to take on a cat, but things would be a bit tighter. I'd have a good amount of time at home a day to care for the kitten, ~6 hours a day and all night.
My SO's mother has a tortoise shell Siamese cat that just had kittens. Ocelot, the cat mom, is an AWESOME cat. She's sweet, cuddly, and doesn't shed. There's one fluffy white kitty that has a moustache and of course its cute and it was raised around her two very large dogs.
I've never owned a cat before but I studied to be a vet and worked in a vet clinic so I really know my stuff. I can care for a cat but I just don't know what its like to live with one, especially a kitten. I'm used to puppies, puppies with no training and emotionally hurt.
Can we swing it? Do you recommend it? | My SO and I have two dogs that we rehabbed and now his mom's awesome cat had cute kittens and we can do it financially but I'm interested to know what its like to own a cat/the responsibility to raise a kitten |
t3_31l2ml | relationships | I [25 M] told my SO [21F] of 3 months, I was not ready to take the next step. Now I am afraid I may have ruined it. | I had an ugly breakup last summer when my ex cheated on me and I was incredibly hurt. It took me some time to get over. I met the girl I am dating now about four months ago and have been dating for about three. We are exclusive and have a great time together.
Tonight she asked me if I would consider being boyfriend and girlfriend. I told her that I wanted the title and to be with her; I love spending time with her and really want a long term relationship.
However, I also told her I was terrified. I do not want another ugly breakup and I am just not sure if I am ready. She said that she can accept that answer and that it is not something we need to do right now.
After I left and got home, I realized my mistake and gave her a call. She was not happy and said she did not want to talk. She said she "needs at least 48-72 hours to cool off" and then would consider hearing me out.
She did not believe me when I said I truly care for her and want to be with her. She does not want to see me or hear from me until she is ready. I now feel like I have messed up beyond repair. She put her heart out there and I, in a way, crushed it.
What do I do? I want to give her space but I am afraid I may have ruined this amazing relationship. I also hate waiting. I am definitely the type to talk things out immediately. | Told the girl I am dating that I was not ready to become an official couple and now she wont talk to me. Not sure what to do to repair the damage done. |
t3_1g79mo | AskReddit | I am in a huge dilemma and not sure what to do right now. | I am in a huge dilemma. I've been working as a part time for a financial firm while finishing up school. I graduated in May 2013 and I did not want to still work as a part time so I applied to few other jobs. I got an interview through a recruiter for a top hedge fund job in CT. I also have been told that I am being offered the full time position and switching from part time. I would much rather work for the hedge fund as there would be more career growth for me. I'm confused if I should tell my manager that I applied elsewhere while as a part time or do I still accept this full time position? | Been working as part time in firm A, got interview set up for firm B, got offered full time position offered for firm A, rather work for firm B, not sure what to do |
t3_14rvat | offmychest | My guy-I-was-kinda-seeing died and I'm devastated | I was seeing this guy for about a month and then I moved away for eight months. He kept in touch the whole time and even visited me once. He tried really hard to stay in touch and now that he's dead I've found some of his business related profile things and he used a picture of the two of us as the profile.
The thing is I was really trying to keep him at arm's length the whole time since I've had plenty of bad experiences with getting too attached to someone too soon. Also, I hadn't really settled on how I felt about him and I didn't want to get too close until I knew we would be in the same city, which would have been in January. But we still talked, almost always with him initiating.
Well he passed away in a car crash a few days ago and I guess I had stronger feelings for him than I thought. I'm an absolute wreck. I'm just in a constant state of sobbing or just wiping away tears. I miss him so much and I completely wasted the little bit of time I had with him pushing him away.
I don't even feel like I'm allowed to be sad since I treated him so horribly by constantly keeping him at a distance. I missed a skype call from him 24 hours before he got in the accident. I keep staring at that missed call like it will undo itself.
I just wanted to tell that story. I really needed to say it. Please love the people in your life when you have them. | woman treats man coldly to protect herself, man dies, woman regrets her behaviour and realizes she has real feelings for him. |
t3_36oiv5 | tifu | TIFU By Trying to Cook Dinner for my Family | My family recently just got a brand new Golden Retriever Puppy named Sandy. She's adorable and one of the most well behaved puppies I have ever seen. Technically she is my dog but I go to college most of the year so she stays at home with my family. Keep an eye out for her, she's important to the story.
So I was trying to surprise my family with dinner. I'm a terrible cook and I only know a few dishes so I decided to make spaghetti and meatballs, pretty simple right? Well I was boiling water and I needed to use the bathroom, I was probably gone 5 minutes tops, but when I came back the the kitchen the 2 pound package of ground beef was gone. At first I thought that I had forgotten to take it out or maybe I just placed it somewhere else. It took a couple minutes but I eventually found the culprit...My 70 pound puppy had jumped on the counter and eaten the entire package. And not just the meat, but the styrofoam, plastic, etc. So I had to take the cute little idiot to the vet instead of making dinner. I guess that's what I get for trusting a puppy. | I tried making dinner for my family but instead my dog ate an entire package of beef so I had to take her to the vet. |
t3_3p0g27 | cats | My outdoor cat won't come home. Need help getting him back! | Hi, and thank you so much for reading this!
My cat has been outdoors fulltime since March of this year. He was actually doing very well. He kept to the backyard, and didn't wander off too far from the house. I could call him, and he'd come running back home looking for pets. One thing that I think helped was he could hide under the deck in our yard whenever he felt threatened.
Well, my boyfriend (who isn't too fond of my cat), decided to board up the deck so my cat can't go under, anymore. The boyfriend also has a tendency of scaring him off, or not leaving him alone when he's in the yard (he thinks it's funny). I think the mixture of this has caused my cat to go into shell shock, and now he won't come home, outside of just to eat.
I hadn't seen him for days until this morning, and he just hissed at me and kept his distance. His meowing sounded distressed. I don't think (or know if) he's hurt, because he won't let me get near him. I really just think he's pissed off and scared.
What should I do to get him back? I was thinking of trying to find an alternative hiding spot in our backyard to get him back, like putting a big tupperware bin on or near the deck with his food, water, and maybe a shirt of mine. I've already made it very clear to my boyfriend I dont' want him anywhere near my cat (seems like he got it this time).
Or, do I trap him? I don't know if he'll go for it or not. My cat is the definition of a scaredy cat, so I don't know how he'll react. I just want to get close enough to comfort him, and make sure he isn't injured. Any help would be appreciated!! | I think my cat is too scared to come home. How do I get him to trust me again and come back? At least to make sure he's okay? |
t3_34fxv4 | relationships | I [22F] am confused as to what is going on with my friend [25M] | I'm friends with this guy I met through work last summer (we no longer work together) and I really like him, but I'm just so confused about how he feels about me. We used to hang out in a friend group, but now it's evolved so that we're hanging out one-on-one most of the time. We've got a weekend tradition going where we cook a food we both like and sometimes go out to a movie afterwards. This weekend we're seeing a movie in addition to going to mini-golf and dinner. So, we do a lot of date-like activities that could also be platonic. He texts me pretty much everyday, tells me how excited he is for our weekly hangout, and gets very touchy-feely when we get drunk (he's kissed me and given me a long massage on separate occasions), but then he'll ask me things like "hook up with any hot guys?" or say something like "maybe a rich guy will whisk you away". I'm honestly just really confused and I want to ask him what is going on, but we're both pretty shy and it could get awkward. I just want to make sure I'm not misinterpreting anything before I broach the subject. | I'm majorly crushing on my friend and want to make sure I'm not reading too much into things before I talk with him about it. |
t3_2kaeqh | tifu | TIFU by causing a panic in my school over a kitten trapped in a locker | So TIFU (actually yesterday, but...) by causing a general panic amongst almost a dozen of my teacher colleagues. I was also panicking, but I did start the panic.
Yesterday morning, no less then 8-12 teachers (including myself) were in an absolute crisis mode...
As I entered the building before the students in the morning I was alerted to a strange sound in the normally silent early AM hallways. I heard, identified, and then hunted down the obvious sounds of a small kitten trapped inside a locker. It was becoming more insistent (faster intervals between its pitiful mews) so I ran at full speed into the main office and declared there was a kitten trapped and I needed the master lock key to get at it.
Following me out of the office was a crowd of other early-arriving teachers in a tizzy who then crowded around this locker attempting to calm the kitty as we tried to free it from its confines. Two of them were in full-on tears, as a result of this kitty getting more and more frantic as time went on because we weren't getting the locker open fast enough, and it must have been in there since at least the end of the previous school day!
After fumbling with the keys I finally get the lock off, and the locker opens to reveal... A student's forgotten cell phone with her realistic kitty meow morning alarm that was telling her to get on the bus.
Crap... | Hear kitten, panic almost a dozen teachers before school starts, scramble to rescue the cat, find a students cell phone alarm ringing in her locker instead. |
t3_3vw5uj | relationships | I (16F) would like to meet and live with my long-distance boyfriend (M17). Is it possible? | My boyfriend and I have been together for just over three months. I've known him for closer to over four. We've been planning details here and there on the possibility of seeing each other around our 1-year anniversary. This year gives us time to see if we'll continue to be happy as we are. He lives a few hours out of London, England and I reside in Southern Ontario, Canada. There comes the extreme costs.
There are things we are naive about in this situation. Work visas? Immigration? Overtime costs? At this time we are both seeking jobs to help fund this dream. He has a reasonable sum sitting around, enough to fly him here and stay a small period of time. By the time he would come he would have turned 18 and I would be 17. Our optimal situation is he lives with my family for a year and seeks work then moves out with me when I leave for University or College. It's a poorly-constructed plan, but it's all we have currently. Advice, anyone? | is it possible for him to come from england and stay with me in canada permanently, preferably by next year? |
t3_19zvnk | BreakUps | It has been a month and I'm dying to hear from her... | At first, I (25m) agreed to let things run their course and to completely avoid any kind of interaction with her (34f), even though it meant basically giving up happiness we've never encountered before. During the break up, on that cold evening, we both understood and agreed that it was the end (we were together for a little over a year).
She cried, but I held my tears and kept it all inside. I just hugged her and kissed her as if there was no tomorrow... Ever since, I have choked up a little and my eyes have turned watery with each song and memory that remind me of her; however, things are going backwards for me, because although i started off great, each day I seem to miss her more and more.
I wonder how she is doing, if she's thinking of me, and if she also has considered contacting me. Today, I want to call/text her so badly! But fear itself, fear of rejection, and pride, are (thankfully) in the way.
The very same night after the break up, as I was driving home, she text me and said "wth! and sent me another text with a video link to a goodbye song." I want to use that as an excuse and send her one more text saying, "you broke the rule once, so I have the right to do the same!" and tell her I still think of her every waking minute. :'(
here's some cold water, she is married, and so am I... | after a year of being with her, she (34f) and I (25m) ended things agreeing to end all communication. A month later, here I am DYING to talk to her. It was a forbidden love. |
t3_37r7ma | tifu | TIFU by sending the Unicode of Death text message to everyone I know. | This happened yesterday actually. I was doing what every other person was and sending that text to crash people's phone. Except I read online if you take out the words "effective power" then it will completely block them out of their messages app so being me I did so. After sending it to about 10 different people, I went to bed. 15 minutes I hear my dad on the phone, turns out all of those kids I sent it to told their parents that I broke their phones. Had to get on the phone and walk them through how to fix it. In school now, but word got around that I was doing that. Now I'm afraid to go home because there's probably gonna be a bunch of voicemails on our answering machine. | sent the text that crashes people's phones, parents told my parents saying I broke their phones, lost 30 mins of sleep. |
t3_scze8 | relationship_advice | She loves me but has feelings for another guy. | Over the past week my girlfriend(18) of 1.5 years has been acting strange and distant, so I(21) confront her yesterday about it. After a little back and forth I get her to confess that there is a guy she has feelings for but she still loves me and doesnt want to lose me. The guy she met is an army guy she met at AIT training and lives in another state.
Her logic is, "I am young and scared. We are acting like an old married couple." Which I completely understand but if this was a problem I would have like if she told me and we could work it out and find more time to go out and do more things. I feel hurt because I didn't see it coming. She was my first and I felt like I could marry her. And she says she wants me to marry her.
But now she has completely flip flopped in a weeks time. Makes me feel as if I messed up by not trying harder or by not being assertive enough or that I am not good enough. I know we are young and there are more other fish in the sea but I don't want to lose her because I really imagined being together forever.
We will be talking face to face today, then my plan is to not talk for a couple of days then re-evaluate our feelings after a couple of days to a week or so. | Girlfriend gained feelings for another man in another state. I don't know whether to try to fix our problems or leave. |
t3_2gcihw | personalfinance | How to control parent's finances | I'm 21. I would say my father became manic depressive and/or bipolar over the past few years. He lost his job due to ditching work and going gambling. He blew thousands of dollars on lottery tickets. He spent 6 months in jail after failing to pay the mortgage and violating a restraining order his wife had put on him after everything fell apart. Anyway, he lives in a different state now with a relative and full-time job that pays OK.
After a year of working at this place he still has virtually no money and it doesn't add up. I'm 99% sure he's gambling again and lives in a fantasy world of made-up BS he creates out of thin air.
That said I think if a serious discussion was had, he would let me control his finances, if that's possible? He doesn't even pay rent, he may or may not pay child support to the fullest extent, I'm not sure. He definitely has a mental illness that's causing him to live an unsustainable life. There's lots more I can say, but I think you get the idea. He can't manage his own finances, and for all intents and purposes, has a simple life right now that is the perfect time to start fresh. | Is it possible for a parent to give control of their finances to someone else like their child who is over 18, because they are too irresponsible to do it themselves?* |
t3_20lxja | relationships | It's going really well with my new boyfriend [23] but he vaguely reminds me [22/f] of my rapist... | When I was 17, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend who I lost my virginity to. We had been together for about 3 months so I knew him really well. We broke up and I cut him out of my life and didn't continue with any interests that he had introduced me to that I had even learned to like.
I started seeing my new boyfriend about a month ago, and I really, really like him. We get along, he's funny, he's kind, and we just sorta clicked. He knows I have been raped and he does a really good job of avoiding my triggers.
Personality wise, he does not remind me of this person from my past, but as far as his interests go (music they listen to, jokes they think are funny, TV shows, movies, books, hobbies), they do.
Part of the problem is that when I met my new boyfriend, he told me about his interests and he really liked that I was a bunch of them already, but what he didn't know was that I learned about them all from my rapist! So now he brings up these bands all the time, and they're bands that I even sort of like, but I find myself constantly being reminded of my rapist. I also find myself a little bit more jumpy when I sleep with him than when I have slept with other people in the recent past, even though he has done nothing to make me feel ill at ease.
I have had no red flags with my current boyfriend and I really want to stay with him. He's so good and special and kind and I am so attracted to him. I'm afraid to talk to him about the fact that all the stuff he does reminds me of my rapist because, well, what is he going to do? Stop talking about his life to me? On the other hand, am I supposed to constantly be reminded of this traumatizing event in my life? Should I just get used to it? | Dating dreamboy but all his interests remind me of someone terrible from my past and I'm at a loss for what to do (if anything) about it. |
t3_2qvzb1 | tifu | TIFU by hiring a moderator for a subreddit. | as title says, I was starting a new subreddit with an another person.
We were looking for moderators and since there was noone on that subreddit, i deiced to post some unrealted crap on it.
After i hired 2 moderators and provided CSS work for the subreddit, someone deiceds to ban me from there for no reason., | Boredom gets the best of me, started spamming new subreddit, hired new mods, then someone bans me for no reason. |
t3_2pzfav | relationships | Me [21 M] and my girlfriend [20 F] of two years broke up and I'm devastated. | Over the past we had broken up three other times but they only lasted a day until we decided how stupid the reason was and decided to give each other another chance. This time I think was the last time because it has been a week with no effort on her part to contact me.
She has been telling me that it's not a good idea to see each other anymore because we are young and need time alone to work on our problems. She had my stuff packed at our apartment and I'm in the process of getting everything moved to the new place. She has been telling me that she needs to focus on her studies and that I'm causing too much stress. That she's not planning on seeing anyone else and that we should just take a semester off before even thinking of dating again. My only concerns are by then she will only see me as a friend or she would have found someone new.
Our relationship was a very intimate and unique one. She was everything I could have asked for and wanted to marry her in the future, and she had told me that she would love me forever. Our issues arose in the relationship when this semester when her personal problems became too much for me and I couldn't handle all the negativity and crying. This led me to stop kissing her or cuddling her as much, and I would do anything for a kiss from her again. I understand the gravity of breaking up now and realized it was a huge mistake to tell her I'm ok with breaking up because I'm not. I've been in my room the past few days not able to sleep because she's not off my mind for more than 5 seconds.
I've never cried so much in my life or been in this much pain realizing she is finally gone.
Should I stop contacting her and start seeing new girls this semester, or should I continue talking to her hoping to get back together with her? It has honestly been torture thinking about losing her. | gf and I broke up. It's killing me. Do I accept and see new people, or focus my attention on her and hoping she feels the same towards me as before again? |
t3_11i8os | self | I need to become a total badass by Halloween. How? | Hello guys. I'm in quite a bit of a tight spot here. I need to impress a crush, impress random people, and impress some showy males at a party I'm going to.
For Halloween, I am going as Clint Eastwood. Namely him in the film "The good, The bad, and The ugly." Here's a photo.
For his clothes, I went and spent some money on some boots, blue jeans, a hat, puff cigars, a leather holster, and a metal cap gun. For the way he looks physically and the way he talks, I have been practicing a "squinting face" like the one he demonstrates, as well as a voice impression, and I can do both very, very well. I've also taken weeks of practice to learn how to draw and fire my cap gun incredibly fast, even counting how much of a bitch it is to get them to fire at all.
The physically that lingers is that I still look like a pretty boy. I have naturally huge eyelashes that these pictures cant really capture.
Below is my face. I have taken quite a few hours into natural tanning, and will continue to do so. The line on my face is a scar I have.
Below is a shitty and old photo, but it shows basically the proportions of my body.
And lastly, a different angle of my face.
And also, my body is nothing great, I'm about exactly 6 foot tall, and I weigh 150 pounds. I'm pretty skinny, but my muscles are somewhat bigger than a kid my age, and I am also very, very naturally strong for some reason.
I need YOUR help to get stronger physically, look better, and get into the mindset of a true badass! I want to impress my lifelong crush that I've known since I was born (she is my age, and she is SO BEAUTIFUL!), and I want to beat every other of the show off guys there at arm wrestling, and anything else they can throw at me. | I need to become a Clint Eastwood-like badass as fast as possible, both physically and mentally, and would like your ideas on how to. |
t3_32hxs4 | self | Another self rant, | Another self rant,
Because everything is out in the public, anyone can access my sites: anyone. That is a given. On every site I go to a handful of individuals are always somehow fascinated with my posting history and follow me to whatever sub reddit I post at to down vote me and stalk me.
I have attracted non-readers who spend way more time at my blog than my actual readers and I don't like this. I can't block them from viewing my business, either. People who use my business that I post out there publicly against me are sick individuals.
I came onto the Internet to express myself, not to be stalked and silently followed. If people are at my sites it's because they like what I have to say.
It's not like I say anything offensive or anything. I don't know, I just attract these people who like to really be nosy in my business just because I display some things out there about myself. | Does anyone else have this problem, everywhere you go somehow you always end up with these no-good-lurkers on your back? |
t3_l93an | AskReddit | My 2 yr old nephew keeps calling me "daddy"... what can I do? | So his dad's a fuckhead and he's not around. The kid is 2 and every time he sees me he runs towards me saying "daddy, daddy!" and looking very happy with his arms out. He stays with his dad a couple of days a week but still calls me daddy.
I've told him I'm his uncle, and not his daddy, and tried to explain things as best I can but it still happens. In fact, the other day when I went to leave the house he ran to the door and stood in front of it holding it shut to stop me leaving.
I explained what was going on to his mom and said that ya know, for one I don't want him thinking I'm his dad because when I do go it might hurt him more, and also he needs to know that I'm not his daddy and not look to me to be it. She basically said "yeah... ok" and now corrects him when he says it.
I'm not sure I know how to handle this in a fair way that doesn't scar the kid. | 2 yr old nephew calling me daddy, i'm his uncle... explained I'm not his daddy but still it persists. |
t3_2hcy0k | relationship_advice | i'm a 18/f dealing with a 19/m clingy ex | first of all, I apologize for the shitty grammar to come in this post, when I rant I don't typically pay attention to punctuation. anyway, getting into it... so I broke up with a guy a while ago because even though I thought that the fact that we cared about each other a lot and were fairly compatible would be enough to sustain a long distance relationship, despite my high sex drive. long story short, I was wrong. I cheated on him and at first came clean. he forgave me and we started dating again, but I continued to cheat on him, for whatever reason. I'm not sure what my motive was, but it's not really excusable. so yeah, he is not letting go of me though. he essentially tells me that he cut me so much slack because I'm emotionally fucked up from my family life and that he cares about me too much to see me go without some help. he cares too much, so it hurts him and he can't let go. he knows that I am not really the person that did that, that I can be so much better than that and that he wants to be with the "real [me]" in the future. it's all kinda overwhelming to me, and it's getting in the way of his life. I don't know, I think things would be better off if we just stopped talking. we've tried to before, but ultimately both of us caved. does anyone have any advice for helping him get over me and for me to have the willpower to go through with my decision to go nc with him? | shit hit the fan with my ex and I think things would be better for both of us if we stopped talking.. but I can't convince him? |
t3_2wh11o | relationship_advice | Me [21 M] not sure about starting a relationship with [19 F]. Need advice. | Here's the situation. I've recently agreed to go out on a date with a girl thats in my twin brothers course at college. The thing is we already have quite a history.
Originally she was into my brother who didn't share the affection. She actually ended up crying over this in the middle of a bar when he told her. A couple of months down the line (we're pretty sure at this point that shes over it) I ended up getting very drunk and sleeping with her which has happened two times since then. I did ask my brother if he was okay with it before hand and he said it was. I had told myself never to do it again but I just cant help myself around her when I have a drink.
Anyway long story short I hadn't spoken to her in awhile and saw her last night. As much as I tried to stop myself we ended up kissing and spending most of the night together and we agreed to go to the cinema at the weekend (as a first official date).
Now shes already calling me her bf and is super excited about this. My brother told me that if she makes me happy then go for it but he gave me his actual opinion that he thinks I can do better. Plus hes still pissed off at her for how she acted with him.
I'm having total second thoughts about all of this now. She does make me happy and shes fun to hang out with but because of all the stuff with my brother and the fact that this is moving really fast I don't know if it would be better to stop this thing before it gets to late. I know that if I break up with her shes going to be heartbroken but wouldn't it be better to do this now and save her worse heartbreak down the road?
I've been thinking about this a lot and I cant see her at a dinner table with me and my family if you know what I mean. But shes totally infatuated with me and i'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for her (albeit not as intense as hers).
I need some outsiders opinions. What do you guys think I should do? | I don't know whether to start this relationship due to all this history and the opinions of others who don't think its a good idea. I need some outsiders opinions. What do you guys think I should do? |
t3_2dy31d | relationships | Me [20 F] just found out my ex [22 M] moved on from me in 3 weeks after we were together for 4 & 1/2 years | So my ex and I had a pretty rocky relationship the last 2 years after his parents got divorced in July 2012. But we were determined to make it work because we loved each other and had a great natural connection. Things changed last summer (August 2013) when out of absolutely no where he dumped me and I found out he was talking to another girl in the days after we broke up. I was crushed, but being naive I tried relentlessly to get him back until he reluctantly agreed.
We had a good few days but started fighting again and after that we decided we should break up again... for good. Unfortunately, after 2 weeks he texted me again and I ran back to him. We continued to have a friends with benefits thing starting in about January-July of this year.
We had many discussions on why we were doing it, what our futures would be like, and why we should just stop but we never did... we just couldn't stay away from each other. Then, mid-July he just abruptly stopped texting me and talking to me and completely ignored me at all costs. I go on his facebook today and of course, he has a new girlfriend. And this is after he had told me that he only would love me, he wouldn't even look for anything for a long time, he didn't think anyone would ever love him the way he is. Apparently... that's not true.
My heart just sunk upon learning this and of course I'm a mix of miserable, upset, pissed, and jealous. My question is... how can I learn to let this go? And more so I need tips on self-confidence. I just have never been very confident in myself and am pretty shy, I just want to be more open and less self-conscious.
Feels good to get this all out, thanks to anyone who reads and helps ahead of time :) | My ex moved on way faster than I anticipated and it's killing me. How do I become more self-confident and less self-conscious so I can find someone too? |
t3_3dfkd6 | askwomenadvice | I'm terribad at gauging interest. Help me out? | I'm 25 and male, shes 24.
So, there's a girl I know who initiates a lot of physical contact with me, and its not the typical stuff like shoulder grabbing, and hugs (though we do hug) I'm talking more about stuff like shoulder nuzzling (Like a cat) and more extroverted physical displays in the same vein.
She's also got a tougher exterior, and asking her best friend (who I've known 5 years longer) about it, she doesn't really open up with people. She exposed her vulnerable side to me, which I found fairly endearing but I don't know how to interpret it. I wouldn't consider us these just super great friends who have a super big history. I feel like for her, she's taking a leap of faith with me, showing me a side of herself other people don't get to see. | do extroverted displays of contact (I.E. Catlike shoulder nuzzling), and intimate vulnerable discussions (which she does not have often) mean she's interested? Its hard to interpret the signals. |
t3_pw985 | AskReddit | What should I do reddit? | Where do I begin...
I have a fiancee, and a baby on the way. However there is this woman who was hardcore flirting with me at work, but I didn't shut her down right away. She asked me out to the movies and I obliged. We ended up kissing, and I'm having MAJOR regrets. After a long fight with my fiancee, after telling her in the matter of a few hours because I felt so bad, I realized I had another big predicament on my hands. Work. I have a feeling that she is a huge gossiper because my work place is filled with teens. How do I avoid getting fired from work? Should I even go to work tomorrow? Should I just deny everything if it's brought up? WAT DO REDDIT? | I am engaged. Kissed a co-worker outside of work. She gossips. How do I not get fired? |
t3_4jhsom | relationships | Me [20f] with my ex-bestfriend [19f] told me she wants me to pay her back for everything that she has bought me. Im not doing it. | Edit: Thanks everyone who has given me advice so far! I plan on giving an update tomorrow!
We were best friends for probably 4 years. We hung out all the time had fun.
One of the major problems I have had with her is her lying about everything. She made up things daily to complain about that never really happened. She told us that her mom kicked her out of the house and shes been snapping me wrapped up in blankets in her room at her house. Not only that i was at her house a few days ago while she was supposedly kicked out.
Basically yesterday we got into an arguement because she claimed that I am using and taking advantage of her. She said that she was tired of spending money on me. To clarify, I am unemployed. I have been searching for jobs for months with no luck. I live in a small town with a poor family and the jobs here are few and far between.
She would take me to the mall and walmart and INSIST on buying me things. Everytime she bought me something I explained that she did not have to and that i could do without but she insisted in buying it for me.
Now she wants me to pay her back for everything that she bought me and I refuse. She knew i didnt have money and told her not to everytime yet she says I forced her to buy me things. I have several witnesses who were with us when she would insist on buying me things. She would say "its okay! You're my friend, it doesn't bother me." She would buy me things even when I wasn't around and give them to me. Everytime I showed my gratitude. Everytime I explained how it made me sad that I couldn't currently return the favor. We got into a huge arguement yesterday where, like i said, she accused me of using her and taking advantage of her.
Honestly I feel like I am making the right decision. And I don't legally have to pay her back anyways. What is your opinion? | my friend through everything she bought me up in my face and wants me to pay her back for it. I refuse. |
t3_w1guz | relationships | Sex with my (25/m) ex (20/f) | So my ex and I broke up. We'd originally been from the same town, and had to separate for colleges. We'd been dating for a year and a half, and when we are together, we were attached at the hip (and the pelvis).
Well, long story short, a month before she's supposed to come back to town, she calls me on skype, tells me she got drunk and banged her roommate's older brother (who was staying with them at the time).
We tried to work through it, blah blah drama drama, we took 3 weeks for me to get a very convoluted version of 'It's not you, it's me, but I still want to be friends'.
She's coming back to town next week, and up until a couple days ago, we were talking about how we never got to have break up sex. Now she's less into the idea, thinking it could be really awkward and weird and that if we do it, it might bring up some feelings (mostly in me, at least I assume that's her fear). I don't think that's a problem for me, since the idea of trying to do anything romantic with her (flowers, dinner, crap like that) holds no interest for me anymore.
But I'm still attracted to her, and it's probably been about 6 months since I got laid (her) so I'm a bit frustrated and the booty calls around this area? Sketchy at best. So my question is.
Sex with an ex (in my situation) good or bad? | Ex coming back to town, she's on the fence about having a summer fling in case I have left over feelings (even though originally it was her idea). Should I pursue it or leave it alone? |
t3_2i6zgy | legaladvice | Go back to court over a traffic ticket? | So, this morning i just got out of court, I was charged with an incomplete stop, for which i did stop.
As the officer even admitted, that morning he was at this particular intersection looking for people who failed to stop at the line, and he claimed he was "very lenient , even if they stopped halfway in the intersection before they saw me there i would let them go if they made a complete stop".
I however did make a complete stop, right at the line. Shifted into first on my old manual car that CANNOT start in 2nd, and went on to get pulled over by the officer. There were no other people that showed up that morning so my guess is he was there all day, let the bad guys go (there are alot of children running around this area) and needed someone to pull over.
I was driving this old hippie van, and he was expecting some punk kid and a drug bust but got me, a guy wearing a suit going to work wearing my seat belt. | I got a reduced fine and no points, but I am still getting a $130 ticket for doing nothing illegal. Its his word against mine and I lost, what can i do? |
t3_1onvm1 | relationships | Bf(17m) broke up with me(18f) and I dont know how to handle it. | Me and my ex bf had dated for about a year or so up until yesterday when I told him that I cheated on him.
Early on in the relationship he had cheated on me several times and the trust was breached. It took me forever to get over it, but eventually i did when i slept with another man when he was gone in Portland. He came back and he was having a hard time getting over it.
Come around a month ago, his best friend stayed in my dorm and he had told me that he had slept with 4 more girls that I didnt know about. I was devestated and I didnt know what to believe so I we slept together so I could get "revenge". There is no attraction to him at all. I couldnt even finnish the job so I stopped having sex with him and moved to the couch.
I figured out soon after that everything best friend had told me was a lie and my ex had been faithful the whole time. I had fucked up immensly. I just told him yesterday and he doesnt want anything to do with me. I understand the reasons and why he is doing this, but I cant seem to handle it.
How do I get over something I ruined? I would have married this man. I would do anything to make peace - I just dont know what to do. These days are the worst days of my life, and everytime I think about it I cry. | bf's bff lied about him cheating to get in my pants, now I feel as if my life is ruined. |
t3_3w6vd6 | offmychest | High School is complete bullshit. | Just before I start, this isn't about how I hate studying or feel that there is no importance in learning. This is about how the education system is completely flawed.
I am currently a high school student in the United States, and have come to realize that high school is a waste.
I have grown up with the mentality that college and university is the path to success, and to get there, you have to get grades in high school. If you don't, you can end up and a community college and end up being a nobody, making minimum wage for the rest of your life and never being able to afford the better things in life.
For a high school student like me, everything is for college, and grades are the largest factor. You must have a high GPA, which means you must strive to get A's in all your classes.
But how do you get an A? In many of my classes, it doesn't mean the most diligent person or the smartest. A's aren't just earned by people who study the most or who come in before and after school. A's are earned by the best memorizers, the best cheaters, the best test takers, and the best ass kissers.
No longer is it about understanding the material and asking why. It is about knowing a formula, and being a robot. None of my teachers ask me to question things, they just lecture about syntax and structure. This applies to almost all of my classes.
Maybe it's just because I'm a teenager and haven't seen the bigger picture yet, but in high school, or school in general, I've only been taught formulas. I don't know why or how they work, but I've been taught that I need to memorize them. | High School doesn't ask you to question anything, it only asks for memorization, and produces people who don't ask why; it produces people who just follow instructions. |
t3_10re6m | relationships | [29m][26f] Scared of getting married to gf with chronic health issues. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Sometime around 8 months into our relationship she began to get chronic migraines. Basically she woke up one day with a migraine and it did not go away for many months. She has been to many doctors and tried many medications. Since this started she has gone through many mood changes that have affected our relationship. She was put on an anti-depressant for many months to dull the pain, then she stopped taking it. She also stopped taking birth control because she thought it was a hormone issue.
All of these medication changes made her irritable, lazy, depressed and lethargic. I have always been there to take care of her, I would give her massages, fetch her things, and do housework. During this time I did not have much of a life except for taking care of my sick gf.
Sometime around last year she got off of all of her medications and began to feel better. She was not getting daily migraines anymore and we began to be more active in our life. Everything was looking up and we began to talk seriously about marriage. Her good health lasted for almost a year. Then about a month ago she started getting daily headaches again. Thus, my predicament.
Early on in our relationship I was okay with taking care of her constantly. She is very needy when she is sick and has to have me around all of the time. Now I find myself getting annoyed when she whines about her headaches and asks me to do something for her. I know it is not her fault that she is sick, and I know it must be very painful and depressing. I worry constantly that the rest of our life is going to be like this. We have tried almost every kind of treatment and nothing helps. I love her, I don't want to abandon her, but I find myself questioning our life together. The other day we were talking about marriage, and she said "I need you to take care of me, are you sure you can do that?" and it really scared me. | GF has chronic health issues (headaches), I am her caretaker. I find myself becoming resentful while marriage looms. |
t3_1wbpf2 | relationships | I [22 M] like her [19 F] too much to date her. | So there's this girl. She's way too much fun and wonderful.
I used to be in a class with her, we would shamelessly flirt whenever we talked. It was kinda obvious. The long and short of it is she's everything I would want in a girl: sweet, friendly, bubbly, cute, smart, and she has an awesomely weird sense of humor. All my friends said I should ask her out, and I just smiled and declined.
Then, recently at my friend's party, he got really drunk and started demanding to know why I wouldn't ask her out, shoving her number in my face, etc. I finally broke down and told him: it's because I like her too much.
I've only dated a few girls before, and briefly. I also happen to be a virgin, which is somewhat relevant here. And right now, I really just want to play the field. I'm young, I won't be forever, and I want to experience that life before I get into anything close to something that might lead to marriage.
The thing is, I'm a bit of a romantic. I'm scared that if I started dating this girl, that side of me would take over, and I'd never be single again. Not that that's so bad. I'd probably love it. But I might wake up one day when I'm forty and wish I'd lived more when I was young.
So my friends of course tell me this is crazy. "If you're into her, ask her out!"
But I'm not so sure. Instead, I chase after girls who don't have such great chemistry with me, specifically because I'm scared of dating someone who does! I don't know, guys. Am I being ridiculous? | I can't date her because I'm scared if I did I'd never leave her. And I'm not ready for that. |
t3_trbhv | AskReddit | What are some things that no longer impress you? | For me, being in college has completely changed my view on what impresses me and what doesn't. To put this more in context, I'm a guy. some examples:
* women with large breasts. I can't understand why some women think a simple genetic trait makes you that much hotter than someone else without them. There are an uncountable amount of girls with the same size if not bigger tits than yours, and having them doesn't automatically make you hot.
* Your grades/gpa. Seriously, no one cares. Telling people (unless they ask) makes you look pretentious. This happens way too often. This was impressive in HS, but no longer.
* Frat stars. I'm no gdi (god damned independent...but I'm in a frat), but overaggressive frat guys and sorority girls that think their shit doesn't stink infuriate me. Just be chill about it. The ironic part is this was one of the reasons I chose my college...because that used to impress me.
* People that major in lifting. Come on fella's, we get it, you're body type is inclined to get very large and muscular. I realized the second week of college and some research later that getting huge had way more to do with genetics than actually lifting. Some body types just aren't meant to look like gorillas. | What's something that you used to find impressive but no longer think that they are? ex: big tits, grades/gpa, frat stars, weight lifting. |
t3_26us3b | relationships | Me [15 M] unsure what to do about a [16 F] | Ok! So theres this girl that sits next to me in one of my classes and she's unbelievably attractive. This is the first time I've ever felt really drawn towards somebody and I'm pretty clueless.
I sat next to her at the start of this year (still sitting next to her) and thats when I met her. I somehow managed to get her phone number by accident but I've only ever texted her for school related stuff. In person, she's always friendly or even kind of flirty. I'm really shy around her though and I just don't know what to say.
The thing is, I don't want to play games with her and I'm sick of beating around the bush just talking to her in class. I want to move this forward, I just need advice on what to do next.
Note: I understand that odds are, if this does work out, this probably won't last and she's probably not "the one" and that's fine. | I'm a shy 15 year old with zero experience that needs advice on how to get to know a girl better and then hopefully ask her out. |
t3_2eqqxb | self | I don't think the parents are to blame in the Mojave gun range shooting. | I see a lot of comments and opinions all over new sites, Facebook and elsewhere blaming the parents for taking their child to a gun range to shoot an UZI. I think the gun range is to blame - if any blame is to be handed out.
I'm sure you all realize that nobody is forced to know anything about guns. Nobody has to take any classes or get any license unless they actually want own or fire a gun. People can go their whole lives without ever touching a real gun. All they may ever know about guns is what they see on TV.
Now you take a person who knows nothing "real" about guns to Las Vegas and they see an advertisement for this range. The ad says that they have expert instructors, been in business for X years, kids 8 and up can come shoot, have burgers while you're here, etc. How is that person supposed to know that it's not safe? They have experts! To them, maybe it seems as dangerous as bungee jumping or skydiving. Sounds like a good thrill in a safe, controlled environment.
The bottom line is: The parents didn't simply hand their kid a gun and say "have fun!" which is what most commenters seem to think. They went to a licensed gun range with trained experts who clearly stated it was okay for kids to shoot those guns. Something bad happened and a person died. To blame the parents for that death and their decisions leading up to it is wrong. In fact, an argument could be made that nobody is to blame - it was just a tragic accident. | Gun range advertises expert instructors that can show children how to fire guns. Daughter of family who only knows guns from TV shows accidentally kills instructor. Not parents fault. |
t3_18ofkm | relationships | [M33] just had sex for the first time with new GF [30], find her interest in me very hard to read. | We've been seeing each other for about 2 months. We had sex for the first time the other day. It was fun, romantic, and a little awkward (as sex with a new person can often be).
I like her a lot. It seems like when we are together, she's really into me. The issue I'm having is that when we're not together, and I try to communicate with her via text or phone, she's often unavailable. For instance I texted her the morning after we slept together telling her what an awesome night I had with her and suggesting a plan to do something again in the near future. Still haven't heard back from her. I get paranoid.
She is pretty busy -- she's in grad school, works outside of that, and has family and friend commitments/responsibilities. I try to remember that. It doesn't stop me from getting paranoid. I have to really restrain myself from sending her more messages or trying to contact her.
As an example of her availability, we've hung out about 7 times in the past 2 months. The last time I saw her before the other night was almost 2 weeks ago. It almost feels like I have to pester her to get her to see me... Nearly all of the times when we've hung out have been a result of something I suggested, but then when we actually do see each other it feels very natural. I'm not sure how to go about this. I'm fine with her being busy and I support all the things she's doing; I'm having trouble discerning whether or not this is triggering some of my own issues and how "normal" her availability is (if such a thing as normal exists). I know there's a way to talk about this probably but I'm not really sure what to say, and also I feel like it's still fairly early in the relationship to have a "serious" discussion like that... or maybe it's not. | new GF is busy/somewhat unavailable. ? how much of this is related to her interest in me versus her other responsibilities ? |
t3_2y4l1w | relationships | [20F] My Boyfriend [19M] is Sick, I was supposed to see Friends tonight | I'm torn about what I should do. My boyfriend and I live together, and have been dating for 2 years. He has been very sick the past couple days, bed-ridden so I've been taking care of him. A couple of my friends from high school, who I haven't seen since graduating (they moved for college) are going to be in town Friday and I was supposed to meet them to go out for dinner. We had made these plans almost a month ago, what should I do? I don't want to bail on these plans as I probably won't get to see them for who knows how long. But my boyfriends really really sick. :/ | My boyfriend is sick and if I stay home with him I'd have to bail on plans that I made with my friends a month ago. I don't know what to do. |
t3_3q37mm | relationship_advice | [18/f] I want to know the best way to try to approach my ex[17/m] | My ex and I started dating while I was in my senior year of high school. Unfortunately, I overlooked his needs for a very long time, wasn't always open to listening to him, and didn't understand that sometimes the jokes I made hurt him. I changed my ways and have tried to be as supportive of him and his needs as possible, the previous hurt has stayed with him. He tried to repress this for a while because he loved me and we tried to make it work, but it was rocky because the past feelings complicated his feelings for me at times. When I finally went to college this fall (and he's now in his senior year of HS), I know that the distance also didn't help things, but I also know that I'll be around for longer periods of time in the next months/semester than I have been in the past two months.
We broke up for the last time this past week because of that issue and... I suppose it's complicated. He told me that he didn't think he had romantic feelings for me anymore and needed to move on. I really do want him to heal because I hate that I've hurt him in such a way and want him to be better. On the other hand though, he has said that he's still not sure of his feelings, and that if in the future, after he builds the balance and peace that he needs, and we "click" again, he would give us another try.
I'm trying to give him the space that he needs, but I guess I want to know how to approach him (and, I suppose, when, although I know that I shouldn't do anything for at least a month or two... both actually times when I'd be back in my hometown).
I really do love him and although I know that I should also try to move on, I'd like to hear what you guys think regarding this. | bf and I broke up after a few months into the Long Distance part of our relationship due to my past toxic tendencies and his memories of that. How can I approach him later on down the road? |
t3_1v6dt2 | jobs | New employer is a "drug free workplace," but I am currently on prescribed amphetamines. What do I tell the drug test people? | I was recently offered a job at a major corporation that a "no drug in the workplace" type of establishment. I have a valid prescription for adderall from my doctor, and I will be taking it when I have to go in for my drug test (it will be in an undetermined time in the future).
Is it possible to explain to the drug test people that I have a valid prescription but that I do not want my use of the drug released to the company? Are they allowed to do that? My university doctor writes one prescription at a time (so that we're not abusing the drugs and that it forces us to seek help from external doctors not affiliated with the school...long story, but you can still seek psychiatric help from the school without school health insurance and they obviously don't want to provide long term care because it's expensive for them, I guess) so I can't show an upcoming prescription as I will have graduated by the time I take the drug test. | need to have drug test people tell new employer I passed a drug test even though I will fail for amphetamine use (valid prescription). Is this possible? What do I need to do? |
t3_2o2yxm | relationships | (19/f) my boyfriend (20/m) often gets offended when I ask him to do something. | My boyfriend does a lot for me- he is an amazing person and friend and I truly love him. But lately I've been getting so torn up about how he reacts when I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do.
He's usually fine driving me around, going out to lunch, buying me coffee (obviously I do similar things for him as well) but when we're about to go to sleep and he's up and awake I'll ask him to grab me water and he gets upset with me. Or if we are both lying down I'll ask him to plug in my phone for me. Obviously I can do it myself and would not be upset in the slightest if he said no, I just ask because why not. Then he gets angry. He gets the astounded sound to his voice that says "why the hell would you even think to ask me that". It was a simple task he could have easily said no to and everything would have been fine- but his first reaction is to get angry and upset with me.
Then again today, I sent him a long text last night and he's been running around all day and hasn't had the chance to read it. He told me his work schedule and I could tell he would be busy for the rest of the day, so I asked if that meant he wouldn't be able to read it for a while. NOT a big deal- yet he automatically gets angry and says "you have to understand, I'm busy ALL the time! I'm not trying to be mean but I don't have time to read it right now."
This probably isn't that big a deal I just hate that he's always on the defense. It's really starting to hit me emotionally and make me think that I shouldn't even ask anything of him-period. Maybe you'll agree, I don't know, but I think in a relationship two people should have open communication about what they want and not be scared of asking questions.
Am I just a crazy bitch or what do you guys think? | my boyfriend gets upset whenever I ask anything of him that he doesn't want to do, even though I would be 100% fine if he said no. It's just the rude way he responds and it's really starting to hurt. |
t3_2rp1kc | tifu | TIFU by letting my cat sit in my lap | TIFU. Well, like 10 minutes ago. My cat Rascal is getting on in the years - about 13 years old - and he is the best cat ever. However, he just did the most disgusting thing.
So there I was, eating pizza sprinkled with parmesan cheese and watching YouTube videos. All of the sudden, Rascal climbs over the back of my chair and sits in my lap. I pet him and he purrs. Then he just stops. I wasn't aware because YouTube... but then I felt it. Something sliding between my legs...
I thought it was a piece of pizza that I dropped so I kinda squished it between my legs so I could grab it before it hit the ground. And guess what. It's a piece of shit. I was so disgusted, that I almost threw it but then thought that wouldn't be a great idea. I got up and put Rascal outside, then proceeded to clean my room. Man was that shit nasty. No pun intended.
I know this isn't really a massive fuck up or entirely my fault, but I thought I'd post anyways. | I was eating pizza when my cat shat in my lap and I grabbed the piece of shit thinking it was some pizza I dropped. |
t3_2l3agv | loseit | Need help starting... M/20/6'2" SW:245 CW:220 GW:180 | Hey Reddit. It's my first post, try not to be too critical.
I need help starting to lose weight again. My freshman year I lost close to 50lbs, I was able to keep it off until about a month or two ago. I caught a light case of mononucleosis (mono) around the end of September and that put me in bed for a few weeks. Unfortunate for me it didn't do anything to my appetite, I was eating pretty bad (ramen, pop tarts, etc. - easy comfort foods since I was sick) and my activity level had dropped off significantly.
Flash forward a month. I had gained close to 25 lbs since then, and my activity level is still pretty low (I'm slowly gaining my energy back). I purchased a GPS/running watch on the advice of a friend, and now i'm starting to get into running a few times a week. I've started to watch and record my caloric intake. My girlfriend is an athlete (NCAA) and has a hot body. She doesn't care what weight I am, but it doesn't seem fair to her for me to be this large.
Forum, I'm having trouble kicking off my diet and running lifestyle. I want to lose 40lbs before summer is here (6 months away for me). Being a college student I stay up till around midnight and I tend to snack a lot late at night.
Is there any tips or information that you guys can give me to help me start to live a healthier lifestyle? | Overweight college student with low activity level. Want to lose 40 lbs in 6 months. Aside from watching and recording what I eat and running regularly, what advice do you guys have for me |
t3_kicqc | AskReddit | Crazy neighbor keeps calling the police. What can/should we do? | Some friends and I moved into a house a few months ago. We have parties on a weekly basis. We also care about being respectful to our neighbors so we walked around and spoke with them requesting that if they ever have a problem with us, they speak with us and we will absolutely remedy any problems they have.
This has worked out fine and we have a great relationship with all of our neighbors except one. The lady across the street from us has called the police on us for 'noise violations' several times around 9pm. Noise restrictions go into effect at 10pm here and we do our best to keep the volume at worst 'conversational'. No blaring music or anything like that. She has also called the police several times for parking violations. No tickets have been issued as no actual violations have been committed. The police have been friendly enough when they are here but it is obviously an undesirable situation.
I plan on talking to her with one of my housemates tomorrow but am not particularly optimistic (we did that when we first moved in). My question is: What should we do? She's harassing us using the police but the police have no choice but to respond when called. I'm not looking for revenge ideas or anything like that. I just want the situation to be resolved peacefully. | Neighbor keeps calling the cops on us. Police don't see anything wrong and move on but it seriously brings down the mood of the party. What can we do? |
t3_rfai6 | AskReddit | Buy a house, or build one? | I'm in the process of buying a house, and the process is falling apart last minute. It's a VA loan, and everything was on track, until the mortgage company said that my "dream home" (which uses a well) is close enough to the city water hookup that it's required. The appraiser estimated that the hookup would cost about $1k, and there's some trivial woodwork that needs to be fixed too. This stuff is *required* before the mortgage company will close on the house, and I'm not even *allowed* to pay for it, even if I wanted to. The seller is being a jagoff, and refuses to do anything to the place, so it's really looking like it's going to fall through.
My current lease is up at the end of April, and it's taken me about 4 months to get this far. Now that it's looking like I have to start over, I'm simply considering bringing my three kids into a temporary residence with a flexible lease, and putting most of my stuff at a storage unit.
My question for reddit, aside from any generic sage advice, is this. Should I keep looking at buying a house that's on the market in central Florida, or go ahead and try to have one built to my specs? I would love to have conduits throughout for wiring, and a dedicated network closet, etc ... etc ... and I was planning on amending that to whatever home I found, but I wonder if it would just be better to start fresh. | Tried buying a home, it's falling through late in the game. Do I buy or build as the next step? |
t3_hh2ud | AskReddit | How to thank the man who spared me $20,000 | Heres the story: About three years ago, I was involved in a lawsuit against my University in an attempt to appeal an exclusion from the Uni with a 2 year period. I had a lawyer over a full year which cost me about $20,000, and finally a barrister who represented me in court, pro bono.
This barrister ultimately won my case, saving me up to $20,000 in legal fees and court fees (as this was held in the supreme court).
Three years down, I've never properly thanked this man. Now however, I've graduated from the degree which he helped me get back in, and am currently working in that profession.
I feel its now time to show him my thanks in doing something that will BLOW HIS MIND | Barrister represented me pro bono. Saved me $20,000 in legal fees. I want to find a way to show my thanks and possibly blow his mind. |
t3_320cdk | tifu | TIFU By Being Honest at the DMV | Be warned; this isn't exactly a funny post; more of an opportunity to vent before I have to go into work later today.
So, I just turned 21 over the weekend. That's cool and all, but one of the things I needed to get done is to get my driver's license renewed. So I assemble all of the documents I need beforehand and I head out to the DMV. The first "red flag," if you will, is that for insurance purposes I am insured under a different last name than what my last name is legally (I know; it's confusing, but adoption tends to do such things), and as a result I had to redo the eye exam. My eyes aren't the greatest, but I was able to pass after a couple of times.
Then come the sheet of questions. "Has your license ever been revoked due to criminal charges?" Nope. "Have you been arrested for drug use?" Not a chance. "Have you had a seizure in the past six months?" Unfortunately for me, the answer to this is yes. I've only had one seizure in my life, and that was from getting the first blood test I have had done in about 15 years back in February (I'm not sure exactly why I had a seizure, but I did).
Well shit, now this whole scenario is ruined, and now my license is revoked because of a once in a lifetime seizure. I've gotta be seizure free for six months before they renew my license, and now I won't be able to start my third year of college on time 'cuz this college is an hour away from where I live, which also puts my reputation and credibility at risk as well. gg life | Had a seizure, answered honestly at the DMV that I had a seizure, can't go to college 'cuz my license is now revoked. No willing rides either. |
t3_22fmpv | relationships | I [26M] want to break up with my [30M] bf of 3 years. We live together. | I have found myself trying to find a reason to break up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I really want to break up with him but am having a hard time finding the courage to do so. I know that I need to do what I need to do for myself to be happy, but I still don't want to hurt him because he is just such a nice guy and we've lived with each other for 2+ years.
He makes me dinners, treats me with respect, is an all-around very very nice and loving family guy. However, we've had some fights in the past because we don't have that much in common. To the point we have a hard time finding the right movie or music to watch/listen to because our likes are so different. We've gotten used to it, but I feel like this has ruined some of my attraction to him, while he's learned to adjust. I've also felt weird about the way we communicate -- it's hard to explain, but I just feel like the vibe we have together doesn't feel right when we communicate. I don't think he notices this (which would make breaking up even harder to explain). I think one thing that attracted me to him in the first place was that he was such a downright nice guy, loyal, faithful, family man, etc. He really doesn't want to hurt a fly. Contrast that to my last relationship where my bf cheated on me continuously and you might see how we ended up together.
Lately, I've been so (uninterested?) that I've been turning down his advances for sex.. I'll sometimes avoid the bedroom until he goes to sleep just because I don't want to have sex with him. It hurts me to do this to him, but at the same time I just don't feel that interested. I find him physically attractive but my mind seems to have a disconnect.
Any advice on what to do in this situation? | Becoming uninterested in my bf even though he is a stand up guy. Want to know how/if I should break up with him. We live together. |
t3_29ytd0 | relationships | My gf (20/f) told me (23/m) that I need to start wearing the pants in the relationship. What do I do? | I (23/m) have been dating my gf (20/f) for a few weeks now. I really like her and I do believe we have the potential for a very solid future together. However, last night on the phone, she told me that I need to wear more of the pants in the relationship. How do I go about this?
To try and explain our relationship thus far, she lives about an hour and a half away from me while she is going to school. I do a lot of nice things for her like leaving her surprises so that she knows that I care about her when I'm away. These are not reciprocated but that's okay. She has mainly guy friends, a lot of which are ones she's previously dated. One of which hangs out with her one on one and has admitted that he is still into her. This has caused a lot of concern on my end and I feel like that concern is messing up the "pants wearing".
I am not sure what have to do to get more of the pants in the relationship. I am a constant worrier over everything, and although I can't control it, I know it plays a role. Also, I believe from reading articles online that I chase her too much. How do I get her to chase me more? I'm constantly told that I'm the nicest guy she's ever been with and I take pride in that. I'm worried that an attempt at "the pants" will make me less nice of a bf.
How do I swing things my way? | My gf told me I need to wear more of the pants in the relationship. What do I do to get them back and have her chase me? |
t3_17lts3 | AskReddit | $6,000 was taken from us in 2010. Is there anything I could do? | Okay well, I dont know many details, so Im apologizing in advance. Back in 2010 we were expecting near $6,000 for our tax refund. We really needed the money, but were surprised when we got only around $700. We were in a tough situation with our bills, and the money kind of helped. Anyway recently we looked into it. The IRS said that we got the money, but we didnt, after arguing for a bit we took it up with Liberty Mutual. They said that we would have to talk to their bank, and they just give us whatever the bank issues us. We called the bank and they said they never issued our check, and they still have our money. This was GREAT news because recently weve been living paycheck to paycheck. Well, now theyre telling us that we DID get the money, and that the checked was cashed. Weve been looking up and down for our tax refund papers from 2010 and have had no luck. Is there anything we could do about this?(I dont know much detail because Im the 16 year old son, I thought maybe Reddit could help) Thanks! | Bank said they had our tax refund money from 3 years ago, then took it back and said we recieved the money and the check was issued and cashed. Now I dont know what to do. |
t3_11dztx | relationship_advice | GF [16,F] has not-so-healthy obsession over some bands, nothing wrong with that. It gets bad when she tells me she had many dreams about kissing them | So today i found out that my girlfriend [16], has been having a lot of dreams about kissing her idols like Alex Turner, Jimmy Page, David Trennant, etc.
I find this heart-breaking, i do nothing wrong, i give all my love into our relationship, i'm kind and sweet, yet she still goes on just freaking loving those guys so much that she could almost date them if she had the chance to never see me again, the proof of exactly that are those dreams.
I've talked to her about how much this affects me and all, but she just says that i'm being silly.
I know its okay for her to have celebrety-crushes, nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it gets to the point where she basicly shows more love to them than to me, also i feel unapreciated, in general.
I've talked to her about this but it makes no diference, nothing. | 16 year old feels unapreciated because her 16 year old girlfriend shows more love to her celebrety crush and has many many dreams about kissing them. wat do |
t3_2nu92b | relationships | My (28M) girlfriend (22F) gas - lighted me over a things she did with a guy friend (22M)? | So I will try to keep this short but happy to give more detail if anyone has any questions.
My girlfriend (1.5 years) has traditionally, had a lot of guy friends and was FWBs with three of these (before we met). For the first six months I tried to be okay with this, for a large part, because I had a number of close female friends (although none with a sexual past). We've largely gotten over this now (since moved to a new city, living together, more mutual friends).
However around 6 months into our relationship, I had a particular issue with one guy friend (let's call him Pete). A couple of weeks after we got together, Pete had made a move on her (she told me about this at the time). He also constantly offered to give her dancing lessons and used to take her to clubs (I'm not much of a dancer). My GF was always insistent that nothing untoward happened on these nights out and that Pete was always just a friend.
As I said this was all about a year ago and Pete has since moved city and we have put it behind us. However, based on a few things mutual friends have said and things she said in a fight last week, it emerged that there was more to these nights out than I had thought.
Basically, she has admitted that he made a move on her again on one of these Salsa nights, sent her inappropriate pictures, asked her to visit him in his new city etc. It now seems that there had been a lot more emails / texts than I had originally been led to believe.
Anyway, basically, I feel that I was mislead and betrayed. My GF agrees and has apologized but also thinks, because it was a year ago, its not such a big deal. We are in a much better place now and are a lot better at communicating with eachother.
So the real question I want to get advice on is, am I wrong to be so angry about something that happened over a year ago? Would it be better to just forget about it, especially since they're not still in contact? | GF was hit on by a guy friend one year ago and didn't tell me at the time. Am I right to be really angry or should I just let it go? |
t3_11v1dd | relationships | How do I convince my parents to let my boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) live together? | My boyfriend (21) and I (21) have been dating for about a year and a half. As of August of next year we will both have graduated from college and we're planning on moving near his home town together. Both sets of parents know this and are totally cool with it.
Up until about two weeks ago, we just sort of figured we'd both be getting small, studio/1 bedroom apartments and paying separately, but (much as we do now) basically living together and forgetting about the other place except for when we have to pay rent.
My boyfriend's mom came up to visit a few weeks ago and basically just said she wouldn't let us waste that much money every month on a place we never step foot into just so we could "keep up appearances". This was quite a shocker, as both of us come from very conservative/old fashioned families. But no complaining here!
Living together next year is definitely the best course of action. We have a dog together who needs our attention all the time. It would be unfair to her to be at home alone all day because I'm at work even though my boyfriend isn't working but has to be across town in his own apartment. It would save a TON of money if we could just get a place together. Even if we paid the same amount as we would for two tiny places on a larger apartment, it would be money well used, not money wasted. Plus, we know we are going to get engaged. We've talked a lot about the future and getting married and really we're just waiting to be financially set. We both think it would be irresponsible to get engaged before we can take care of ourselves.
So all of that seems way logical. The only problem is that I know my parents will flip if I tell them (or even ask nicely) that we want to live together next year. They'll throw out all of their usual morals and how it's improper, not the right order of things, totally inappropriate, etc.
How do I get them to get on board with us? | My boyfriend and I want to move in together once we graduate from college but my super old-fashioned parents would die before letting that happen. |
t3_2415ab | relationships | I (22f) am unsure of what to do next concerning my year and a half long relationship with my (25m) boyfriend | I recently decided to transfer to another college in a different state. My boyfriend isn't interested in moving and I definitely do not want to do the long distance thing once I go to my new school. This means we will most definitely be breaking up by the end of summer (it's a mutual understanding) and knowing this has lead me to confusion. I just don't know if I want to continue the relationship up until then or not (this is my first long term relationship). Has anyone else been in this situation before?
I also recently met a guy who, you could say, I've developed an interest in and want to get to know better (this is the 1st person to catch my eye since being with my bf). I feel selfish for wanting to hang out with him but it's obvious I'm getting more and more attracted to him every time we do hang out.(I don't lie to my bf about hanging out with him or anything but he doesn't know I kinda have a crush on this kid) anyways, this really confuses me on what to do/say to my boyfriend.
Now, I have to say I'm very happy with my boyfriend and I care for him very deeply so meeting this new guy has me torn, especially knowing we will be breaking up soon. Help! Hurting my boyfriend makes my heart very heavy but I know it's going to be unavoidable come the end of summer!
What do I consider doing in the meantime? Do I breakup with my bf now and maybe try exploring a new relationship, or do I just try to enjoy the summer with him with a pending breakup hanging over my head? Even if we did breakup now, I know I would still want to hang out with him over the summer. Is this just unrealistic and selfish? Please, please, give me some advice on this situation.
P.S. Sorry if this isn't the right formatting, this is my first post. | My boyfriend and I will be breaking up by the end of summer (not doing long distance) leaving me unsure of wether to continue the relationship up until then or not. |
t3_4eex5c | relationships | Husband downloaded Tinder | Using account my hubby doesn't know about for obvious reasons.
I was on my husband's phone - not snooping but looking at all of his past downloaded apps (to find the name of a game that he played but couldn't remember) and i saw that he downloaded Tinder. I of course say "what the fuck is this" and he says he downloaded it to see what it was all about because he didnt know. I re-downloaded the app on his phone and it auto signed in and there weren't any messages but all of the info had been filled in (ex; interested in woman, aged 18-37, within a certain distance away) so my question for any Tinder users is: Does this auto fill in? and you change the info later or is it something that you do in fact set up?
I'll also mention that he has hidden things from me in the past (sexual history and addiction to porn) so I know he's very good at hiding things.
I honestly don't know what to do. I'm at the end of my rope with him and this relationship because I just always feel like he's hiding something. When ever I ask to go on his phone for anything, he always sits right beside me and watches like a hawk what I'm doing.
Just needing advice.
Also on mobile and it's super late so sorry for any formatting errors. | husband download Tinder to "see what it was". Has past issues of lying and hiding things (never cheating - that i know of). I'm thinking of leaving. Can't handle the constant wondering and trust issues. |
t3_118fts | relationships | My boyfriend [m23] told me [f19] he talks to me when I sleep. I don't know how to feel about this. | My boyfriend [m23] and I[f19] have been together five months and everything is going pretty well. We fell asleep together last night. In the morning I went to class and met up with him later on in the day. We were talking to each other and somehow sleep came up. He said he talked to me a lot while I slept. I thought it was cool and wondered what he talked to me about. I asked him and he got really cold and stated that "It was none of my business and it's nothing I need to know."
I don't really understand why he was acting like that. This concerns me because I remember one time he told me that you can manipulate and get things out of people in their sleep by asking them questions. All of his previous girlfriends in the past have cheated on him which makes it hard for him to trust me sometimes, but I would never do anything like that to hurt him. I truly love him and it hurts that he can't trust me when I make it clear that I am not like his other girlfriends. I have nothing to hide and really love this man, but I feel uncomfortable with the thought that he might be trying to trick me while I'm asleep to make sure I'm not lying to him when I always tell him the truth.
Does anybody have any opinions on what I should do? | My boyfriend says he talks to me when I am asleep, but when I ask he starts acting strange and refuses to tell me what he talks to me about. |
t3_2dqwbe | relationships | Would it be offensive for me (20f) to tell my potential roommate (21f) that if we are to live together, there are certain things I wouldn't want her to use? | My potential roommate (21f) is totally awesome. We are good friends and I think we would be pretty good roommates. Only problem is, there are some things I see her do involving material objects I wouldn't be cool with. There are things I wouldn't mind her using of course. Like my tv and treadmill and any food I plan on putting in a community area for us to use. I am a very sharing person when it comes to most things. But she goes into her current roommates room (21f) and just always borrows clothes and shoes and doesn't think anything of it. I am short and curvy so nice, well fitting clothes are hard to come by and a nice luxury. I wouldn't want to lose them to stains or the depths of her closet. I wouldn't want her borrowing them. Also, my only really nice possession is my stereo. Its not very expensive , but expensive enough I couldn't easily replace it. She has cheap speakers in her living room that are only a few months old and already crackle and pop from abuse from her brother. I know that she would love my stereo, but I wouldn't want her destroying it...would you be offended if I told you not to use my clothes or stereo? Will I come across as uptight?
I'm painting her as selfish but she's not. She's selfless. She comes from a family where they share everything and are very caring and communal. I just am not that way. And while I think she would be careful with my stuff, I don't trust her brother (23m) to value things as much as she does. They are very close. At least once a week they have a late night conversation with drinks and he crashes on their couch. He's a nice guy, just has no respect for peoples things. He's the one responsible for the blown out speakers in the living room. And there is no way for me to say you can use my stereo, but your older brother can't. They're kind of a package deal... | is it wrong of me (20f) to tell my potential roommate (21f) not to use my stereo and clothes if we were to live together? |
t3_1aosnv | dating_advice | Break-up advice, kinda. Dating for under 2 months, girl is socially awkward, hates people and the phone. We always communicate by text. What do!? | As the post title indicates, I've been seeing a girl for just under two months and we're still in the dating stages, with no semblance of an actual relationship. I'd like to end it (the reasons aren't important) and need to let her know this.
My problem stems from the fact that I've never broken up with someone outside of a face to face chat (because I've never had to break off a non-committed-relationship type deal before). This girl is ridiculously shy of people and crowds, so seeing her to break up with her would be akin to torture on top of insult. She loathes phone conversations and refuses to have them to the point that she does not pick up if I call (when I thought I had to for something on two occasions). We communicate in texts all the time.
See my dilemma? I've been conditioned to think breakups must be face to face, but this is a pretty particular situation with a short time-frame. I genuinely feel doing it over text would be the best way for HER to receive the news, but I'm wondering about your opinions. | halp, I've never had to break up in an impersonal manner but think it's for the best this time. plz advise :x |
t3_1vwyhk | jobs | I need more hours in a day just for 2 weeks... | I recently accepted two part-time jobs to fund my way through grad school as well as give me relevant work experience but I have to start both either the same day or within a week of each other. Job 1 is flexible but job 2 has a full-time 2 week training period that is already going to conflict with school let alone job 1's hours. I have so many training sessions, I think they do them every few weeks, to complete it but I know some of training is required before I can work at all. I've emailed the training coordinator about it to find out how flexible they are and my options but I'd rather not tell either job that I took on an additional part-time job. They both know I'm a student so I'm going to quietly try and work with that as my reason for time constraints. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? | I need to start two jobs and not sure how to get through a long training session while also working part-time elsewhere. Is it better or worse to tell my employers about the other job? |
t3_21ys8h | offmychest | Concerning my father, the username is relevant. | **NSFW? I'm not entirely sure.**
I'm a 21 year old male. All my life I've looked up to my father, and have been made to believe that he is a beacon of morality and righteousness. He's never done drugs, and he only drinks rarely(cultural occasions)
Every night he comes home, he always brings us gifts(usually food) and always, *always* reasserts how much he loves us. "I'm always thinking about my kids and my family!" is something he says on a regular basis.
One of the things that I've come to realize is that we're all humans, and we're all imperfect, but it's a whole different story when it actually happens to you.(or in this case, me)
The amount of hypocrisy he has shown is just disgusting.
* He claims that he's a Christian, and even quoted the bible a few times, constantly telling us that "anyone who looks at another woman with thoughts of sin(*"damn, she's pretty hot"*) is committing adultery"
And yet, just a few months ago, he was cheating on my mother with an ugly ass troll-and I mean *FUCKING UGLY*. He thinks that we don't know, but we do.
* He searched for pornography on Youtube, being computer illiterate, he doesn't have any idea about browsing history, or anything like that.
He blames my 12 year-old niece for doing it, since he's so "holy" and "pure."
I know that this shouldn't be surprising(because really, we're all human) but it just shames me how hypocritical he can be.
I just needed to share this.
I'd also like to add: Within this family, nothing of this nature can be brought up, this will never be discussed, or brought to light. If it ever was, he would get defensive, and start attacking and guilt-tripping us. Using such techniques as "I'm the Dad!" "I'm smarter than you'll ever be!" "You're so fat!" and "I've been working for the last 'x' years for you!" | My father is an extremely hypocritical man, who overcompensates to try and justify his faults, and blames 12 year old girls for searching for porn on Youtube. But we can never speak about his extremely questionable actions. |
t3_e0biv | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, how much money is too much money? | I was inspired by another post to look up how much bill gates gives to charity every year. The answer is 58%(according to yahoo answers). That seems like a big percentage, but really to me he still seems greedy(he keeps roughly 2-3 billion every year). Then i thought where my line would be if I ever started to become rich. I'm not really sure where I would stop keeping the money and just give it away,but I think about 1 or 2 million is all i would ever need(and then some) and I consider anything after that to be well, greedy. Where is your line reddit? How much money is too much money for one person? Do you think there is a line?
P.S. Screw windows this was posted from a linux machine :) | Where is your line between a person being well off and being a rich & greedy? I think 1 to 2 million dollars is way more than enough |
t3_2xir2o | loseit | Need serious help at the gym. | Hi all; I apologize if this is in the wrong place.
I'm trying to lose a significant amount of weight, and although I understand that fundamentally changing your diet is the key here (and I'm working on that currently) I'd very much like to supplement it with exercise.
The problem is, short of cardio (running) I've never worked with weights, or machines, or anything of the sort. To give you some background, I've never had a weight/exercise class at any point of my life, and research on my own of how to use weights or machines has failed me. It's gotten to the point where I now associate the gym with a certain level of despair as I walk in, stare at the unfamiliar equipment, try to use it halfheartedly, get frustrated and leave.
Following the README/FAQ, I bought Starting Strength and read through it - however, my knowledge of anatomy is extremely limited so I had to work alongside Wikipedia just to understand the basic concepts he was trying to introduce to me. I'm convinced free-weights are the path to health now, as per that book, but I feel absolutely none the wiser for having read that book - I think it may have actually frustrated me more, since it seems that it's not quite `clicking` with me.
In summary, I'm looking for a remedy to this. I'll hire a personal trainer if I have to, just to teach me, for as long as I have to - I have access to a YMCA and a great gym at my office so there's no lack of proper equipment.
I'm open to any and all suggestions, and will try anything and happily report back. Thank you in advance! | I freeze up when I go to the gym because I don't know what to do. I try to educate myself, but it doesn't seem to be working. What are my next steps? |
t3_49ah7n | relationships | Me [20 F] with my bf [19 M] 9 months, want to know if it's a double standard. [NSFW] | Me (20F) and my bf (19M) have been talking about doing some bicuckold stuff. As in, I fuck a girl while he watches, and he gets fucked by a guy while I watch. We're both very into the idea of this and would be willing to go through with it.
But what we've been talking about is that he thinks it's a bit of a double standard that he'd happily watch and jack off to me fucking a girl but would never ever want to see me get boned by a dude. I think it isn't a double standard on the basis that it is a preference he has being (barely) heterosexual. | He wants me to fuck a girl, I want him to fuck a guy. He doesn't want me to fuck a guy. Is this a double standard? |
t3_511e17 | relationships | [22M] dating [21F] but I'm not sure if I want to be with her. | I'm 22. I'm not the best looking guy, (insert self-deprecating humor) but I have stupidly high standards.
I met a girl online (21) and she's everything I've ever wanted -- mentally. Her mind is incredible, she's fun to talk to and has a fantastic personality. But when I met her, it wasn't enough.
I'll be the first to admit that I am shallow. Undoubtedly so. I'm not proud of it. I've had girls who've thrown themselves at me (they're usually drunk) and I turn them down. I'm not into casual hook-ups.
But now, I've gone on a date with this girl who I like massively on an intellectual level. She ends up throwing herself at me and I can't go through with it. We had fun tonight, but I avoided her advances. She was being extremely forward, which I asked her to stop, and she did.
I can't bring myself to explain how shallow I am to her, to explain that I need to be attracted to her body and not just her mind. Especially when she's literally throwing herself at me. I found it overbearing.
Am I being too picky? Should I have taken her up on her offers on our first date? Should I have broken her heart after spending four hours with her? | Dating a girl with a great brain, but I'm not into her physically. Should I end it now because I'm shallow? |
t3_3abw3x | relationships | Me [17 M] just got broken up with by my [17 F] girlfriend of 2 months. I can't seem to keep a girl. | She used the phrase "I'm not ready for a relationship yet". I asked multiple times for the real reason but she insisted it wasnt me. I was her first semi serious relationship. This answer makes sense because I always felt as if she wasn't truly into it as much as me. Whenever we would hangout unless it was an actual date it was always with her family or friends and she often refused to makeout with me or other stuff for various reasons. She wouldn't do anything affectionate besides holding hands infront of people either as she insisted it made her feel awkward. So I feel like it was true that she wasnt ready for a relationship, but at the same time I cant help but feel it was just that she didnt like me (even though she said multiple times that wasnt the case).
I dont know what I did wrong, but this sort of thing happens every time. I have never had a relationship longer than 2 months because the always suddenly run away when I think its going good. I dont know what I keep doing wrong but I feel like unless I can learn something fron this I will never have a lasting relationship. I'm not clingy, I'm always a gentleman, I give sincere compliments often, I never make things awkward, I can always make girls laugh and I consider myself to be good looking. Why can't I keep a girl? | Girlfriend broke up because she wasn't ready. I'm sad because I can't keep a girl and I dont know what I'm doing wrong. |
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