id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_2dle0b | relationships | Me [23F] with my BF [25M] of 2.5 years, I know I want to break up but I feel attached | I love my BF, but I don't think we are right for each other. He has anger issues (says lewd things and has destroyed some of my things), drinks around 10 beers every day, never cleans up after himself (to the point where we've gotten bugs) and blows all his money on beer and McDonald's and is constantly broke.
When I first met him I didn't really care and didn't know about his temper, but I want to do things with my life and not live in a pigsty and I just feel like this is going nowhere. We've discussed things but at the end of the day, he is who he is, I know he's not changing anytime soon.
Additionally we've both emotionally cheated with people online. So while I know I want to break up, I can't bring myself to do it. I don't really know why but I think its attachment, plus the fact that I know he'll be upset and I don't want to hurt him, especially since I think he is depressed. Has anyone else ever experienced this? How did you deal with it? | I think my relationship with my Bf is going nowhere. I want to break up but am attached and don't want to hurt him. How do I deal with this? |
t3_273tiy | relationships | What should I do when I'm going to be at the same event as two guys I've been dating at the same time? Help! | I (f/24) have gone on three dates with one guy (32/m) and two dates with another (26/m). I happened to mention to both of them that I'm going to be going to a food festival in our city with my friend next weekend. One guy said "awesome! I'm going with a male friend of mine, we should double date!" I just tried to brush off this comment. And the other guy said he was going too, and that he's actually going by himself.
I'm internally freaking out because even though I have only been casually going on a few dates with both guys, it's still going to be awkward. It's a food festival in a fairly small park so it's not like we won't run into each other. Plus the guy I have been on three dates with now greets me by kissing me. How awkward would that be if the other dude was there? Also not going is not an option because I already bought tickets. Damn it, I was just looking forward to eating some delicious grub with my friend!! Ugh.
What should I do?? Suggestions? | I'm going to an event where both guys I've been casually dating will be and don't know how to handle it. |
t3_3mfezg | Advice | Classmate Making Me Feel Uncomfortable | I'm a 23 year old female at university and have recently run into an issue with my male classmate who is studying abroad from Syria. It started after class when he followed me out to the student parking lot and asked where I lived. He then clarified and asked if I studied at the library. I told him that I don't study at the library and he told me he wanted to form a study group with me.
I politely declined, stating that I'm not interested in a study group for this course (I'm getting an A in the class and I'm very busy). He then told me to give him my number so he could set something up throughout the week. I explained again that I wouldn't be doing a study group with him.
He proceeded to tell me that he got a 69 on the exam and, while he likes the number, he doesn't like it for an exam score. To me, this was very awkward and I was still walking toward my car during this conversation. He asked me what I got on the exam and I said, once again, that I wouldn't be forming a study group and that I'm sorry.
At this point, I reached my car and left the school. My question is... should I report this incident to my school? Am I overreacting in feeling uncomfortable with the situation? He has asked me questions during class over the last couple weeks regarding my study habits and current courses. I believe he thinks I'm some sort of crazy super genius, which isn't the case. I don't know if it's best to report something like this as soon as it happens, or if I should just let it go and see if he leaves me a alone now. | Classmate kept asking me to be in a study group after I repeatedly said no, and made uncomfortable sexual joke while following me to my car after class. What do? |
t3_i4sd2 | AskReddit | Question about Intellectual Property Legal Rights and a Douche bag in My Office | Was in the office recently and a douche bag in the office talked about an idea for a website, nothing specific or unique to his idea, plus there are already many websites just like this on the internet.
Not wanting to be an ass I told him I intended to make a website like that and offered him 50% ownership if he worked on it with me. He then proceeded to tell me that I could build it and give him 50% of the money earned and if I "stole" his idea he would sue me...douche bag.
To me he has zero rights because what happened would be akin to walking up to a guy and say "I'm gonna build a car" and if that guy builds a car suing him. Or imagine calling up Steve Jobs and saying "I'm gonna build an iPhone6", then threatening to sue Steve for not paying 50% of all revenues. It would also be similar to MySpace trying to sue Facebook for merely being a social network site.
If I build a website of the same type he stated am I in any danger? Does he have any rights? I am not using any specific idea, unique idea, or anything original. | Douche bag threatened to sue me if I didn't give him 50% and do all the work because he said the word "website" |
t3_o0ak8 | AskReddit | How do you deal with a person that won't leave you alone and makes you feel threatened? | Here's the story: I went to Marrakesh a couple of weeks ago and stayed at a hostel there. The woman who worked behind at the front desk was really nice and helpful. Later that night I met a man in the hostel who said that same concierge and he were in love and told us that he was going to marry her if it wasn't for her strict father's disapproval. The guy seemed bizarre to me at the time: delayed or extended eye contact, a strange disconnect in his voice and just an overall creepiness in general.
Anyway, a couple of days later I am talking to the concierge again and she revealed to me the truth about this guy. Apparently he had been in the hostel for a few months now and kept telling her that he is in love with her. However, she doesn't want to have anything to do with him. She then told me that he tells people who come and stay at the hostel that they are in love and getting married, which is exactly what he told me a couple of nights earlier. At this point she started to break down and said that she feels afraid to do anything because he told her if he can't stay at the hostel he will "do something bad". She says she may have to leave because she doesn't feel comfortable in her job anymore...that he never really leaves her alone. I feel awful for her and want to help her out.
Question: Does anybody know legally what she can do? I don't really know anything about Moroccan law or what precautions or measures she should take in response to the situation.
Background info on the guy: He is an American citizen, (although she told me he shows foreigners some paper that shows he was deported, but then again I'm pretty sure this guy is a complete sociopath so I can't take anything he says for truth). Also she told me he owns a big Moroccan knife...not jumping to conclusions but it has me worried. | Crazy sociopath dude from America won't leave a hostel worker alone and makes her feel threatened. In Morocco. |
t3_2n9sf5 | relationship_advice | Advice on protecting my daughter [18/f] from a bad relationship with a man in prison [31/m] | I went to visit my daughter in the psych ward. She was there after an attempted OD. She's bi-polar and this is her 4th time being hospitalized. It's her first semester at college.
My daughter is young for her age. She's naive. A regular topic during her senior year was that she hadn't had her first kiss. She hasn't really had a boyfriend. She has a few friends, but not a real active social life. She's smart and was in orchestra and took violin lessons all through high school
We were visiting in a common room. There were 5 or 6 patients, and a handful of visitors. While we were visiting, there was a complete tool hovering around. He was making loud comments about liking thongs, and how he wouldn't do underage girls. Inappropriate things to announce to the room. I noticed whenever he said anything, my daughter smirked. I got the idea she thought this guy was cool.
Fast forward 3 weeks, my daughter left college and I just found out she is in love with the guy from the psych ward. She writes him letters decorated with hearts and flowers. She is keeping it secret. He's 31, and in prison. He was sent to the psych hospital from prison and then returned to prison after. He's divorced and has a couple kids. He has no regular career, just a string of random, low level factory type jobs. He's asked my daughter to send him money in prison and she has. He gets out in 4 months.
I have no doubt in my mind that if this relationship progresses, he will use her, hurt her and kick her to the curb without hesitation when he is sick of her. My daughter, in her naiveté, can't see the path a relationship with this guy could take her down. She doesn't know what I know. I feel like I got kicked in the stomach and I am desperate to shut it down, but have no idea how to. | Naïve, young daughter fell in love with a bad man who is in prison. Need to convince her a relationship with him is a bad path. |
t3_3ud6v6 | relationships | My (31/m) mom is starting to really piss me off about my trip plan! | I have been planning on traveling to eastern Europe for few months now. My mom keep bring up Muslims, ISIS, terrorist, etc... Ever since I let her know about the plan.
Just today I sent my mom an text asking about the plan for the holiday because I was going to buy a airline ticket today or tomorrow. My mom immediately know why and try to tell me that there's alert that suggest against traveling and try to encourage me to go somewhere else!
I am getting to the point where I am about to lost it and yell at her and cancel the holiday with her!
This isn't even my first time oversea! Yet she act like the place is going to be an war zone and it is getting to the point where every time we talk, it is "Muslim this! Muslim that! ISIS that! ISIS this! Terrorist!!!" I'm fed up and want this to stop!!! | Mom freak out about me traveling to eastern Europe this winter because of "Muslim, ISIS, terrorist" and haven't stop bother me about it ever since! I want her to stop!!! |
t3_3y75ol | offmychest | Merry Christmas to me | It was decided that my kids would only get stockings from Santa this year and no gifts from their "Wish list to Santa". This is not to say that they received no gifts, they received several gifts from my wife and I, but they have been little jerks to each other for quite a while as well as incredibly disrespectful to my wife and me. It is not that we could not afford the gifts they asked for. We bought them, they are in the house...they just don't deserve them right now.
Most of the attitude stems from my 10 year old daughter. She has the whole "pre-teen attitude" down. The eye rolls, the glaring, and the exasperated sighs.
We do the Elf on a shelf thing...it has not worked this year. The elf left a letter to the girls explaining that after telling Santa about all of the fighting, arguments, disrespect, and attitudes that they were put on the Naughty list. We were hoping to shock them into better behavior...
Well, that was 4 hours ago, and I feel.like shit now. Don't get me wrong, I love my children with all my heart...and I want them to have their wishes fulfilled, I just can't handle the anxiety it causes in this house.
My wife suffers from depression, and according to my doctor I do too. My wife's solution to the whole problem is to climb into bed and ignore the day.
We have family coming over in less than half and hour. I have been left to take care of prepping the house and food as well as playing referee for the children all by myself again, as usual.
I have been trying to reduce my "happy meds" (with Doctor's approval)..., but today I have tripled my dosage to try to relax and get through the day.
I live my family, but I am getting to where I can't handle the dysfunction. | Kids have been jerks, we decided to teach them a lesson, and now wife is depressed and hiding in our room. |
t3_4s7spg | relationships | My (39F) mom has sex with her boyfriend (39?M) while I'm (15M) home and I'm uncomfortable with it. | Sorry for editing mistakes, I'm on mobile.
Lately, my mom has been bringing this one guy home. It's her boyfriend. I don't really know much about him, as he just comes through the front door and they immediately go to my mom's room and closes the door. I (admittedly) have not been making an effort to get to know him at all, but it's not like I have the chance to either, only saying a few words to me if he does see me out in the living room. I don't really care about this in all honesty, if it makes my mom happy then it's fine by me.
However, they recently began having sex while I'm home. I'm in the living room most of the night which is like 10 feet away from my mom's room and I can hear it. I'm not entirely sure why, but this disgusts me. I don't generally care what they do in her room but it's very obvious what they're doing. This guy has his own house and from what I gathered has no roommates. There is no reason why they can't go over there. It just makes me uncomfortable and I feel like I should go in my room and stay there, since it's the room farthest from my mom's. Any advice? I could really use some. Thank you. | My mom has sex with her boyfriend while I'm home and it makes me uncomfortable since they're within a close proximity. |
t3_c7h6b | AskReddit | Dear Reddit: I am quitting my Job at the end of June. Any tips on getting a new one before i leave? | My Manager has decided to let me go at the end of june because i am slower than the other employees that have worked at the grocery store for 2+ years.
I am going to contact the hiring manager and tell her that i am going to be on my two weeks notice soon.
I will be a unemployed 20 year old college student. Where are some places I can look for a job?
I want something close to home and the only places i can think of would be at the mall, the movie theater or the video store. I don't want to push carts again at any grocery store as long as it's not at Fred Meyer.
I will most likely do a ton of online applications and then follow them up with a phone call as always. I plan on applying in person and dressing nice as well as having plenty of resumes on hand just in case.
I only want a part-time job because i am saving money up before i move out and i don't want to go jobless again for months on end.
I am going to try some small food places like quiz-no's and subway as well as ice cream stores due to the hot summer heat that is just around the corner.
I am a big technology guy and spend a lot of my time on the computer, but i have no idea how to do any type of programming and i am not good at math.
Oh and i'm not sure that this matters but i live in Washington State and I am a 30 min. drive away from Portland. I have some friends that work in Portland but i want something close to home. Besides, the commute is terrible when the bridge is up. Traffic is ridiculous in the mornings on some week days. | I am quitting my job at the end of June and need tips on getting a new one and where i should work before i leave my current job. |
t3_41ptjb | relationships | Found out last night that my [F30] friend [M27] is already being cheated on by his new girlfriend of less than a week. Advice? [Infidelity] | So the short version is I'm in love with my friend and that came out when he started seeing this girl and I realized how I felt.
A bunch of other personal things happened to me the same week, leaving me emotionally messed up and he thinks it's all because of him...so he's asked me to give him space for a week or so just to unwind from it all.
Last night, I went out for a drink when my bartender friend shows me these messages between HER male friend and a girl he'd been talking to on Tinder. He asked her if she knew this girl since they're from our small town. The picture is of *MY* friend's girlfriend.
She's been official with him since last Tuesday and made date and sex plans with this guy 2 nights ago.
My friend and this girl have known each other for years and he knows I can't stand her. I hate knowing this is happening because I don't want to see him hurt and I don't feel like I have a right to tell him or that he will believe me if I do.
I'm trying so hard to respect his boundaries right now and have no idea what to do with this information. | friend and crush is being cheated on by old friend/new girlfriend and I don't feel like I have a right to tell him. |
t3_1fn08r | relationships | M(24)(virgin) found out that the F(27) ive been dating for over a year isnt a virgin as she hinted befor. | Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I told her about my relationships and virginity and when I asked her about hers she said "same story") that she was also a virgin.
Yesterday she told me that more than a year ago (befor we even met) she went with some guy back to his appartment, (even tho she knew he had a grilfriend that she even met once) and had sex with him. When I ask her why she did this, she says it means nothing, and that she did it more as an experiment, because she didnt belive he would go trough with it, having a girlfriend and all ...
I dont really know if I can explain this, but I feel betrayed. She says that she has to mean more to me than just her virginity. I know that I cant really hold things that happened in our seperate pasts against her, but suddenly she just feels so medicore to me. The person I fell in love with, I didnt expect this from.
Everytime I think about her now, I just imagine some random dude that has no feeling for her, making love to her.
Am I overreacting? Is it really no big thing? Please help. | Girl I dated for 1 year that once hinted she was also a virgin told me she lost her virginity befor we met with some dude that had a girlfriend wich she knew about. Need help with deciding how to move forward. |
t3_3ayzd7 | personalfinance | Using student loans to pay off other principals. | I am about to start my last year of graduate school. During my undergrad, I screwed the pooch a bit by not understanding student loans. I am currently sitting at about 110k, with thousands of dollars in interest accruing every month. I am currently on the income based repayment plan, 10% for 20 years, and don't see any other way to pay it off, which I'm fine with. Once I finish my Master's, I can expect to make between 70-120k most places. According to my calculations, unless I'm making over 150k, the 10% IBR plan is my best bet. I believe the interest on my loans is 6.8%.
I recently purchased a car for about 14k. Nothing too fancy, just something to reliably get me around without needing to be fixed every other. I didn't get a great rate due to my credit rating, which suffered a great deal in my early 20's, about 4.9%.
Here's my conundrum. I've been thinking that I should take out extra loans to pay off my recent car purchase. That would put my principal student loan at about 126k. I don't ever expect to actually pay the student loan off, especially with the accruing interest. If I stay on the IBR plan for the next 18 years, I should expect to pay between 61k-120k depending on how much I make. | Besides the moral gray area, am I missing anything? Would using excess student loans to pay off my car cause any problems besides a higher student loan principal? |
t3_tx6bs | relationships | Boyfriend still maintaining OK Cupid profile, should I confront him about it? | Me (21F) and my boyfriend (21) met on OK Cupid about seven months ago and have been dating ever since. Everything seems to be going great.
One of my friends recently got an OKC account and texted me saying she found my boyfriend's account. (I deactivated mine soon after we became official--months ago.) Anyway, I logged on to look at his, and while he did change his status to say "seeing someone" and has the looking for box to say "new friends", his profile still talks about relationship-type things. I could probably look past/put in the back of my mind all up to this point, but since I found out about this a few weeks ago, he's been logging in almost every day. What else could it be to either be in contact with someone, or looking at profiles? He's not doing quizzes or anything.
I don't know if I'm overreacting to this and should just trust him, or confront him about it. Advice, please? | boyfriend of seven months still logs into OK cupid profile pretty often. Am I overreacting or should I ask him about it? |
t3_xd0eg | AskReddit | So my roommate and I found out we have bed bugs in our house apartment that we share with our landlords who seem unwilling to do anything about it. What can we do? | My roommate and I moved into a new house apartment together about 2 months ago. We're on the 2nd floor above our landlords and have a month-to-month lease agreement. We moved in under the assumption that the previous tenants were really close with our landlords and had been here for a couple of years while they were going to school. We thought, "they sound like really awesome landlords" and it has been pretty true, so far. They've invited us to parties, fed us on a few occasions (we're both young males - they knew the quickest way to our hearts) offer us really great rent (utilities and cable included) and are really friendly.
They are foreign and, we think, a lot of things do get lost in translation, like after we had been consistently waking up with bites on our bodies for, virtually, the entire time we've been here. Until now, we've just thought it could be mosquitoes since we spend a lot of time on our back porch and we leave the screen door open often. Last week we noticed the bed bugs and finally clued in.
Since then, we've been doing vigorous cleaning and taking precautions - steam cleaned the carpets and upholstery and washed the sheets and our clothes. We notified our landlords, who seemed shocked at the news, but didn't seem too concerned. To us, this is unacceptable, since bed bugs are almost impossible to get rid of and the most effective way to get rid of them is to call an exterminator, which will be a few hundred dollars.
To add to the story, while cleaning yesterday, we discovered aluminum foil between the floor and walls. Reading online, it seems this is an effective barrier for them, but it hasn't been working. Apparently the previous tenants had also noticed the infestation and, I'm sure, would have notified our landlords (who failed to mention it before we moved in and failed to take care of it). On top of that, the previous tenants left a boxspring and a mattress here. We think this was the biggest breeding ground for them, and have since got rid of it.
Sorry for the mass of text. The full story was necessary. | moved into an apartment with a bed bug infestation that our landlords obviously knew about and never told us. They don't seem too inclined to do anything about it at this point. WHAT DO WE DO? |
t3_3liuct | relationships | I [22F] get extremely turned off when a guy is too nice...I have a great potential partner [28M] how do I keep from self destructing?! | Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short and sweet as I possibly can because I really need some advice on this issue...
So after some pretty unhealthy relationships with ex boyfriends, I decided that now that I'm in the dating game, I would go for guys that are going to treat me right. And I have! The past few guys that I've been with have done nothing but praise me. Telling me how pretty I am, that I'm a catch, and how all around a good person I am. They constantly text me and want to be around me, which at first is extremely flattering.
Then, all of a sudden it's like this switch inside of me turns off. Like...all of a sudden I think less of them because they think so highly of me. And please fuck off if you're going to give me some "get off your high horse" bullshit because I can't help the way that I feel. I want to like this type of guy because after all I've been through, I need someone who is going to treat me right...
So I don't know if it's just the fact that I'm used to not being treated right and I'm just uncomfortable with the flattery. Whether I hate being in control of a relationship. Or whether I'm just all around a super fucking jaded person that has something every girl dreams of and cant appreciate it because of some internal short circuit. Whatever the issue is, how do I not fuck up this new relationship? Should I tell him upfront that I'm not into loads of compliments/constant texting/clinging? Or is it an issue I can resolve myself? | I want to fall for a new guy in my life. But I'm afraid that he will come on too strong and turn me away. How do I let him know, or fix a problem of my own? |
t3_53zgkk | relationships | I [20 M] just found out that my girlfriend [21 F] of 6 months had a fling with a good friend of hers [22 M ] a couple of months before we began dating. She never told me. | I recently found out that my girlfriend had a fling with a person she remains good friends with a couple of months before we started seeing each other. A friend of hers had mentioned this to me and she admitted it when asked.
I'd been introduced to this guy and had been told a lot about him. In all this time, she never thought to mention she'd been seeing him before me, however briefly.
She's usually so forthcoming and honest that I've been struggling to understand why she'd keep this from me. I've been quite upset about the whole thing.
My girlfriend still talks to this guy regularly, and has met up with him alone a few times in the past few months. I'm wondering if I'm justified in being so hurt. | Girlfriend had fling with her close friend before we started dating and never told me about it, even though she still sees him regularly, am I justified in being upset? |
t3_3swdli | Advice | What should I do? (warning: it's long) | First off, my last day at my job (grocery store) was Nov. 7. There I was lifting 50-lb bags of cat food and those 24-packs of water off the bottoms of carts and putting them back in. A lot of back strain, and I have back problems. 9/10 pain at its worse. So I quit.
I recently started a new job (retail). I've had 4 shifts (about 2 weeks). Compared to grocery store, it's worse. I'm 8/10 pain, and 7/10 at its best. Whereas it took ~7 mo to reach 9/10 at grocery store, it's taken 2 weeks at retail because of all the twisting and bending and turning. I'm in so much pain I just cry when I get home.
I don't know what to do. I've only been there two weeks, and I'm already contemplating quitting. I'm also contemplating going back to my first job (fast food - the one with carhops) which was so awful - schedule changed every day, so many people, have to be in the cold for a long time, manager never there, this thing that happened with my foot. But there's a new manager there and two of my friends work there. And it didn't give me back pain - or at least, not as much. Not much bending, barely any twisting.
Give me advice. Should I quit or stick it out and see if my body gets used to the job/pain recedes?
(Don't know if this is important, but it is a factor: switching from fast food to grocery store didn't cause pain, even with the excess bending and lifting and twisting. So this is different.) | Quit my painful job and entered a more painful job. Thinking about quitting and going back to first job (no pain, but shitty in every other way). |
t3_2vi781 | legaladvice | Need Help With High School Parties | Hello guys. I'm 16 years old and live in Louisiana. I just switched schools from a school with nothing illegal at all to one full of drugs. I am pretty popular with a group of people who are always partying, smoking, and drinking. I was invited to hang out with my friends (Mardi Gras + small party afterwards with drugs and alcohol) and plan on going. I have never wanted to drink or smoke and don't think I'll be doing it anytime soon because I'm not ready yet, but I have been reading online that you can get a misdemeanor charge despite not drinking or smoking. I am wondering if it is likely to be charged (even if I don't do it myself but my friends are), how bad it would be for me in the future, and what to do if police show up. I only plan on going for girls and to just have some fun at a party with my friends, who will be drinking and smoking A LOT (black out possibly although they said they won't drink as much because I'm coming), but I am on the road to a scholarship, get amazing grades at one of the most prestigious schools in the country, and don't even intend on doing anything other than hook up with girls and hang out with my friends. Sorry for this horribly written post; I am really nervous and don't want to skip out because I know I'll regret the few times I got a chance to hang out and make friends later on in life. Thanks in advance! | 16 year old in LA who wants to hang out with my friends who will be drinking + smoking but I won't be doing it myself. How much trouble can I get into? |
t3_cof2t | AskReddit | DAE Feel Emotionally Attached to Inanimate Objects? | I'm about to sell my | I feel attached to inanimate objects, and I feel like I'm betraying them when I sell or lose them. |
t3_3qphqf | relationships | I [17M] kind of have a crush on someone, have the guts to ask her (17F?) out, but no contact info | So I need to explain how I met this girl first, obviously. I work at a big chain supermarket. Nationwide. There are 2 of those stores in my town (maybe relevant, about 20k big town). The store I work at is closing for 2 weeks for renovation. So they needed to get every product out of the store, and they needed people to help with that. I don't know how supermarkets work in the US, but here we have certain 'departments'. I fill the stocks. That's all I do there. And there are people who are behind the check-out and that's all they do. So naturally, I don't really *know* someone who isn't filling stocks with me. Unless it's from outside of work, but while working, you don't really have the chance to get to know people from other departments.
So I fill the stocks and she was behind the check-out. But for this day (yesterday btw) everyone from every department was supposed to help. But there were a shitload of people. So we were done in three hours. The last hour or so, I think, I worked with her. We really hit it off, I mean, I feel like we did. Really nice, funny girl, and I actually feel comfortable asking her out now. But I don't know her phone number, only her first name, and that she has been working here for only a few weeks. I don't know if I'll see her again at work.
Now I realize it's a bit of a big story for such a small question. But it's important to me. There's this other girl I know from check-out, because she used to fill the stocks, and I do have her number. Should I ask her if she can get me in touch with the girl from yesterday or is that a bit creepy? And suppose I get her number, wouldn't it be creepy texting her? I mean, we just met yesterday, didn't exchange numbers, and then she gets a text from me? Would be a bit strange, right? Need some advice here, don't wanna scare her off, but I want to see her again. | Met a nice girl at work last night. Can't get in touch with her, should I ask my coworker for her number? And if that doesn't work, how *do* I get in touch with her? |
t3_f3hgu | relationships | Is random hooking up better than nothing at all? | Me: College freshman girl
Him: College freshman
For the past few months, I've liked a guy who I started casually dating in August. Since then we've gone through the roller coaster... we're dating, we're just friends, "I like you", "I think we're better just as friends", etc etc.
Even during the "friends" phase of the roller coaster, I still really like the guy. He's the type of guy I could see myself dating seriously. While he admits that he never stopped liking me during the "friends" phase, we never seem to get past unofficially dating.
**So my question is:** do I keep hooking up with him when I really want more out of the "relationship"? The way I feel right now is that I'd rather hook up with him and be slightly upset that we're not something *more* than go back to being only friends with him. Is this wrong? | Would you continue hooking up with a guy if you wanted more and he didn't, simply for the sake of being more than friends? |
t3_1k0cl8 | AskReddit | Does anybody know of good Phone Cases for a Samsung Illusion i110? | Before anyone states the Obvious, I know the Samsung Illusion is an old phone (Made in 2010) but I am going to be getting it as a gift from my mom when she upgrades to a new phone, and its way better than my cheap Straight Talk phone now.
I have been looking for Phone cases for this thing for a week, and I can't find anything. Some cases on Amazon look good, but then I read the reviews, and they vary from "Excellent Case" to "This case is a piece of s**t." So I don't want to buy a case that sucks.
I am just looking for a really durable case (I drop my phone a lot) that does not break in 2 second like cases I find for my current phone (LG Optimus Zip) | Looking for a good case for my Samsung Illusion i110, that won't break in 2 seconds like those cases you find at malls |
t3_2o5azd | relationships | How do I [20 M] interpret these signs from a girl I really like [19 F] and her BF [19 M] | I have a long-time female friend (19) with whom I speak and chat a lot. We are good friends and talk all the time about anything non-sexual, even though she very often hugs me and touches me all the time when she's around me. She's insanely beautiful, with light blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes, and she is also incredibly smart.
My gut feeling says that she fancies me quite a bit, but I haven't approached her as she has a boyfriend (20) since about April/May. He is also a long-time friend of mine, but not one of the closest.
However, over the last month or so it seems like they have been losing some interest in eachother. They are no longer on eachother's top 3 on Snapchat, he didn't wish her a happy b-day on FB a couple of days ago and to my knowledge they haven't seen eachother in about a month.
It appears to me that it's him that has lost interest and is perpetrating the apparent breakup that seems imminent. Don't know what she's feeling but I think she still has feelings for him.
Should I try asking her questions about her relationship, and more importantly, if and when they break up, how long should I wait before I approach her? | She is my long-time good friend who I'm quite interested in and they are apparently breaking up soon. How and when should I approach her? |
t3_qz2gw | AskReddit | What should i do reddit? | I've been thinking about posting for a while, but figured time would pass and things would be better. I am a suburban college commuter and the past few nights I have been struggling to sleep thinking that there is really nothing more out there than what I experience everyday. I am on spring break and all my friends are in college or on break in places like miami. I have been doing nothing but routinely working, going to school, and drinking/smoking until I can forget about everything. I may just be depressed or desiring summer to see my friends again, but even that may not be enough. I have a girlfriend who goes to school a few states away, and I wish I could go to college nearby her but I do not have the money to do so. This may just be a nice way to vent, but really I have no idea what to do. I was wondering what kind of hobbies I should be pick that would be useful or actually entertaining. I play video games and work out, but every game has become so repetitive to me, and working out isn't the same as playing a sport like I used to. I miss meeting new people, but there isn't anybody to meet. I do not know if it is me not knowing who I am or what I enjoy, but I need something to change and could really use some help with that. | I am a college commuter who is depressed. Any ideas/hobbies that will help take my mind off things and be useful? |
t3_q9upz | relationships | girlfriend's male friends. Am I being overly skeptical? | Me, Male 26 Her, Female 22 Relationship length 2 ish years
We were together for a little over to years and she decided she needed a break. I told her i wasn't willing to sit around and wait for her to "be ready to play again" so we split up. about a month later she decided she messed up and wanted me back. we took it slow and things have been going well but I have some hang ups about her male friends, two in particular. One is a guy from out of state that she met once and still talks to on a fairly regular basis (multiple time a week) and another is a guy she met through a friend of hers and ended up kissing but then decided she wanted me back. Here's my issue, she says that all of her relationships are completely plutonic but I have a very hard time believing that a guy from half way across the country and a guy that was clearly more than just a friend while we were apart are thinking the same way about the plutonic nature of the relationship. These relationships make me uncomfortable and not solely because they are male. She has a few other male friends, one of whom kissed her while we were apart, and I have no issues with them.
Does it sound like I'm worrying about things that don't need to be worried about or should I put my foot down and request she stop having contact with these people? | We broke up for a month, she kissed a dude and met another she talks to frequently, got back together and maintains contact with them. it freaks me out, what do i do? |
t3_2rn8kf | tifu | TIFU by being clueless | Well this just happened like 5 minutes ago, and honestly I feel like dying. Let me preface this by saying that I am currently a senior in high school. I have my license and I always drive to school. Today was really snowy and cold, so after I parked, my girlfriend and I ran into the school so that we wouldn't freeze. That is where this fuck-up begins. See I have my keys on a lanyard, and usually slip them into my pants pocket so that they won't slip out. Today however I put them into my coat pocket.
I continued going on this my day, and it wasn't until the start of lunch that something was missing. There wasn't that usual bulge in my pocket (this isn't an innuendo I promise) that my keys would create. The panic begins to set in as I realize that my keys are not on my body. I tore apart my backpack and nothing. I retraced my steps and went to office to see if there was anybody who turned them in. Nothing.
I'm screwed at this point. My keys aren't turning up, my parents don't know, and I have no idea how I'm going to get home. I'm pretty sure there is a spare key somewhere in my house, but it will take me a while to figure out where it is hidden. I can't let my parents know or they are going to kill me because they just bought it for me a few months ago. Luckily there is no key fob to unlock the door automatically. Excuse me as I sit in study hall and try not to cry. | Drove myself to school, put my keys int my coat pocket without noticing, and lost my keys somewhere in school. Now I'm skipping classes to search for my keys |
t3_3d7fzf | relationships | Me [24 M] with my Friend whom I look up to as a sister [31/23 F] 3 yrs I feel guilty that I want more than Just a Brother/Sister Relationship with her | EDIT: THE SECOND AGE IS MEANT TO READ 32
I meet this girl on Twitch about three years ago and as I got to know her when she streamed and streams with her current boyfirend I've noticed that we have a lot in common we like a lot of the same music yet we also have things that make us unique from each other
Her boyfirend has this whole Minecraft Community, about a year ago I had this falling out with the whole gang and she really reached out to me, it was during that year she sort of became more like a sister to me
anyways I'm afraid I'm starting to obssess over her, or at least worry to much about how we can still be good friends with out crossing any lines For the longest time something in me is telling me "yes this is the person whom I want to spend the rest of my life with" | I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman whom I look up to as a sister even though we're not actually related and I feel guilty as Hell about it. |
t3_2a3jlv | relationships | I (26M) want to change date plans with (26F), but not sure if it will make me seem undecisive | I'm trying to rekindle a relationship. I dated this girl for about a month around May this year. Things were going great but I messed up and we stopped seeing each other - I apologised for my actions and haven't really spoken to her since.
I have recently been in touch with her and have a feeling she still misses me and I want to confirm it. I have set up a date with her, but the process didnt go smoothly and I have a feeling I seemed too desperate.
I spoke to her last Sunday and asked her if she was free for a catch up on Tuesday. She said she couldnt but asked me to join her for a jog. I said it was too hot for me :p - she laughed (she knows I sweat a lot and its 30 degrees out at the mo). Anyway I went on to see if she was free Wednesday and she said she had dancing class. I then asked her to give me a day and she said Friday. I said ok, lets meet for dinner. In which she said ok. I didnt set a time, just the area we should meet.
I realise now that I seem too desperate and have pretty much forced her into a date. I don't want to be that guy lol... So I want to do some damage control. Firstly I think dinner is just too serious at this stage and I just want to have a relaxing night out. Also theres a band playing on Friday night that I want to see which I just found out about, I want to cancel dinner and get her to go see the show with me instead.
Would changing plans now make me seem indecisive? (even though I didn't really set concrete plans in the first place)
Also when should I let her know I want to change plans? | I want to cancel dinner plans with her and just take her to see a band later in the evening. Would changing plans for a date make me seem indecisive. |
t3_3rk4hx | relationships | Me [28 M] my gf of 2 years [23 F] Broke up with me and started dating someone I made fun of | Me and my Gf have been through a lot. Last night at the bar were drinking her co worker happen to be at t at the bar. Him and her were getting along a little to well so I cracked what I through was a funny joke on him. My girl took it the wrong way called me racist. and left me with the guy I took off after her. 2 weeks pass everything seems ok. Then She tell me were over and she moving out. Week later I see her with him on face book kissing and now In a relationship. Like wtf I make one black joke and I'm the bad guy ? after all we have gone through. I really don't know what to think. | when to bar with my girl, make black joke at her coworker she gets pissed, moves out and starts dating him |
t3_4ixl7l | weddingplanning | Sleeping arrangements? [UPDATE / subsequent questions] | [original post](
So, we've opted *against* renting a campground. As much as we wanted the ambiance, there was one unforeseen variable that ended up being a deal breaker: all of the campgrounds that we looked at in our area/price range are ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOL on the premises, even if we rented the entire grounds. While we're in no mean alcoholics (or even heavy drinkers), we don't want a dry wedding. So that's off the table.
BUT, we're still looking into the idea of renting a private lodge for us and our bridal party (and their +1s probably) for the weekend and holding the ceremony and reception on the grounds with a hotel nearby for the rest of the guests. Obviously there's still a lot of logistics and we have to get permission and insurance and what not...
The questions we have now are:
Since the bridal party and their +1s would be staying with us instead of at a hotel, can we ask them to pitch in a little toward their accommodations? We'd probably ask somewhere around $50-60 per person (covering 3 nights), which is WAY cheaper than even the cheapest hotel in our area. Virtually everyone in the party is from out of town, so they'd have to be at a hotel if they don't stay with us.
What about meals for the weekend? Do we need to pay all of those out of pocket or is it ok for us to ask them to pitch in a little or tell them they're on their own? Rehearsal dinner would be during this time, which we'd definitely cover, and probably brunch the day of the wedding too, but there'd still be probably 3-4 more meals while we're there... | We want to make this as affordable as possible for everyone involved (we're not having any pre-wedding events to save costs), but what is our responsibility and what is ok to expect them to pay for? |
t3_27ax9y | relationships | Me [21 F] with my roommate [22 M], he's taking advantage of my kindness. | I live in an apartment with my fiance (M), my sister (T), and her boyfriend (C). A friend of ours (E) was recently let go at his job and was pretty much about to be homeless. We offered him a place to stay, rent free, until he gets a job (at which point he can start paying or get his own place). My expectation was that it wouldn't take very long however it's been a few weeks now and he's still unemployed.
I am typically a caring soul and I knew he was hungry and had no food. So I told him if he cleaned the apartment I would pay him 40$. I felt like that was a very generous amount for that task and E agreed but I made the stupid mistake of paying up front.
E immediately went out with C and bought some food, promising me the cleaning would be done by the time I left for work in the morning. It wasn't. Almost a week later now and all he's done is some half assed cleaning in the living room which he promptly re-messed.
I'm upset but I'm not very confrontational. On top of that I'm trying to avoid letting M know I'm upset because he's had a temper about similar situations in the past (over protective). I talked to my sister T about it and she said it upset her too that I extended a kindness to him and he basically spat in my face.
I was originally going to just let it go but T and C think I should confront him about it and get him to do the work.
What should I do here? | I paid my jobless roommate for some cleaning as a kindness so he could get food, he never did the cleaning. |
t3_37aivg | relationships | [26 M] Afraid of being alone has kept me in a relationship with [24 F] for 8 years. How can I finally stay away? | We have been together for 8 years and suffered through two hard break ups. We finally did it again today and it sucks.
She did the dumping again, and I honestly saw it coming... and almost wanted it too. I feel more calm this time because things have just been falling apart for a long time now and I know this is right.
I think I have tried so hard to make it work because I am really just afraid of being alone. I've always wanted a wife and kids, so losing that future was really hard for me to bear.
Right now, like always, I am contemplating getting her back. With enough effort, I think I can do it. But I really need to stay away this time and make this permanent.
How can I finally stay away from the woman I love and just move on? | Terrified to be alone from my GF of 8 years. Please give advice on how to not pursue her again. |
t3_45sycm | running | So I just ran my first full marathon today and I had a terrible time... | I posted this in the other guy's thread, but thought I'd make a post here so maybe I could get some pointers for next time.
Today was my first marathon as well, and I wasn't so fortunate... something went horribly wrong, and I'm still not sure what. The first 15 miles breezed by, I actually ran the half only a minute or two slower than my half PR (my half PR is 1:46, split today was 1:52). At mile 17, both my calves locked up... hard. I don't know if it was lack of potassium, or if I was running too fast, the humidity, or what... but my splits went from 8:30 to 13:30 at the finish. I ended up getting a 4:33, when I was originally on track for a 3:55. I never actually hit a "wall," per se, as I didn't get far enough to actually be tired. It was quite frustrating having a lot of energy left, but not being able to do anything about the lead bricks attached to my hips.
This was in Austin, TX, and it was very humid and warmer than I normally like (by the finish it was low 70s). I got plenty of carbs yesterday, and ate oatmeal with fruit for breakfast (I always do before long runs). I drank some water or gatorade at each aid station, and had a gu every 5 miles.
Has anyone experienced something similar, or know what could have been the problem? | Legs locked up/cramped hard at mile 17, before I was even tired. As far as I know I hydrated and ate correctly. |
t3_22gele | relationships | How would I(M15) start a conversation would a girl(F16) I don't normally talk to? (It's not as easy as it looks, more in post) | Not 100% sure if this is the right sub for this kind of question, but whatever.
Well, on the surface it looks super easy. Just go and start a conversation. Well yeah, I guess it is, but not really. I'm a Freshmen, this girl is a sophomore. We have have classes together, she knows who I am, I'm not looking for her to notice me, she knows my name. I just want to know how I go from having a whole school year go by and never say a word to her and just start a conversation. Is it weird?
I'm a pretty popular kid, most people like me, I could get a girl. I've done it before. Is it really simple as it seems? Should I just go and talk to her? Where? When she's alone? I don't see her without friends.
I already have her phone number. Should I just say hello? Or maybe not text her, and talk to her first? I don't know, what do you guys think? | I have a crush on a girl, never talked to her before, wondering if it's weird to just randomly go up and talk to her after not doing so for a whole year. |
t3_1698hf | BreakUps | [21/m] I need advice on how to get my self-esteem back. | Hi everybody. I haven't posted on here for quite a while, mainly because I've been doing much better in my breakup/recovery. But I could still use some advice.
My first love dumped me in September, and I've really improved a whole lot. I've met new girls, I've been busy, I've worked out....I do all the stuff I'm 'supposed' to do to get over a breakup.
Only thing is, since she's been gone, I feel like I'm the same guy I was before we met. That is, I don't have many friends. Sure, I have my college roommates who are my best buddies, but aside from them, I don't have a large network of connections. One thing I liked about my girlfriend was that she changed all that. I met her, her friends, her family, and I hung out with all these awesome people. As a result, I was confident. I joined a club, I got a high position there, I made connections there, too! Life was beautiful.
But now that she's gone, I've lost touch with everybody I knew from her social circle. And to make things worse, I quit my position in my school club to be with her, and when she dumped me, I really couldn't return to the club. So I lost my connections there and haven't really spoken with them.
This is a reccuring problem for me. I tend to lose touch with just about everybody I meet, except maybe for my circle of friends from high school 500 miles away, who I love dearly.
So maybe this isn't a breakup question, but in a way I think it definitely is.
My question is this - how can I get my self-confidence back after a breakup? How can I meet new people, even in my somewhat lackluster state? I just need a good bit of general advice! Thanks :) | Since my ex dumped me, I've lost all the connections and friendships I made through her. I don't have zero friends, per se, but I certainly don't have many. |
t3_n1i02 | dating_advice | I'm pretty sure he's the "friend" he was talking about and I'm not sure what to do? | I met this seemingly great guy a few weeks ago at a bar and we have a scary amount in common. I'm 21 and he's 25 Well a few days ago he told me he was worried about his friend because he'd been seeing this girl for for a few weeks and everything was going great but he had to tell her something. He then informed me that this "friend" had to disclose to this girl that he is a registered sex offender for something that happened when he was 18 and he's 25 now. He didn't go into too much detail about what had occurred but he basically said the guy was under the impression that everyone at the party was 17 or older and he hooked up with this girl that was rather underage.
He then asked me what I would do if I was in that girl's situation. I said if it was an honest mistake than I'd be able to get over it as long as the guy was honest about what happened because a lot of times people can be convicted for something that was consensual. The more that I think about it the more I think he is the "friend" based on things he's said/done over the past few weeks. I searched his name and something came up but since he's a low level offender not much info is given on what happened and there is no picture. I can't be sure it's him because he does have a very common name and we live in a big city so it could be someone else but everything does line up.
Should I confront him about? Give him a little more time to come clean? Is it wrong for me to just end things because he did technically lie about it? I understand that it's not an easy thing to tell someone but I feel like since he hasn't said anything else about it there's a good chance it's something worse than what he's told me or he's hiding something else. | met this guy I'm 21 he's 25. He told me about a friend that is a registered sex offender because of a misunderstanding. I think it's actually the guy I'm seeing and I'm not sure how to proceed |
t3_15r99z | relationship_advice | [16/m] a very good friend with (16/f). I'm starting to like her. | So we're both 16 and classmates in the 10th grade. We know each other for two years now and have since become best friends. We have the same interests, same sense of humor and generally a lot of things in common. We use to talk on Skype for at least an hour a day, and our topics range very much. We're very open to one another and even talk about our life's problems. We also hang out, but never privately, like on a date, but with a group of close friends. At school, we also talk a lot and at rare occasions even play/tickle/hug etc. I've been giving it a lot of thought recently, and I ended up liking her. I'm not having a crush yet, but I think it will lead to it very soon. What should I do? Also, I'm a realist. I know that I'm still young, she won't be my one and only, and that even if it won't work out there are plenty fish in the sea, so please don't give me that kind of lecture. | I started to like a girl who I am best friends with. I'm not sure if or how to approach this. |
t3_iqgwe | dating_advice | How to tell a nerd he turns you on? | Okay, I am useless at flirting but great at actually being in a relationship, and need some advice.
Met a guy at work. (20, I'm 21). He's really fun, a little crazy (an initial red flag for me, but he totally does it because he likes to keep things light at work for everyone else), but a very hard worker (turn-on). We've got a million nerdy things in common, including movie things, the fact that I try to dress vintage and that I swing dance (he really wants to go/learn), and lots of music-related interests in common. I do my best to make eye contact, laugh, and bring up interesting/related things to him in conversation. I get a lot of surprise from him that I'm interested in things that he is, and I try to reciprocate in enthusiasm when I find out something about him.
I've already managed to spend the night at his house one night (hung out in a group and needed to crash closer to work). I thought that was a dealbreaker, but nothing happened, other than us staying up watching a movie together (not really watching but geeking out over other things the whole time). We keep hanging out in groups of work friends, and whenever we see movies in a theatre together, I put myself in a position for him to make a move (leaning in, arm on armrest, chest pointed at him). I have a feeling he won't make a move in front of work people, but he's dropped me off at my car quite a few times when it's me and him and no move yet. Just hugs when I leave.
I try to make plans with him (hard to do around work, we have tentative plans to learn swing dance), and have even gone so far as to tell him the costume he made was pretty hot (that's a huge flirty jump for me). Am I still not being blatant enough? My slutty friend says I need to back off, if he's not reciprocating at this point. | How do I tell a nerdy guy that I am drama-free and will totally do him because of his nerdiness? |
t3_1ji3bp | relationships | I can I (F/25) be more considerate towards my new roommate (M/26) when my boyfriend (M/24) comes over to visit? | Ok, so this is kind of embarrassing for me. So I (F/25) recently moved into a new place with an old family friend (M/26) who only recently learned that I have a boyfriend (M/24). My boyfriend still lives at home so, the majority of time he will come to visit me at my place rather than me going to his place to hang out.
Recently, my roommate and his mom stopped by (we had no idea this occurred) our apartment while my boyfriend and I were in the middle of doing the deed (doors closed mind you) and apparently heard us and left as fast as they could.
The problem that I have is, my place is really the only place that my boyfriend and I can be alone. And most of the time this isn't an issue, because to be honest, my roommate is hardly ever in the apartment. I honestly have no problem keeping it quiet if I know he is going to be coming home but the thing is, I never know when that is going to be and I would hate for him to come back and hear us again (He's super conservative, my friend said he was pretty freaked out about hearing us).
Is there anyway I can be more considerate here? Should we just always be quiet even if he's not there with the assumption that he might come home? I try to listen for the front door opening so that we can immediately be quiet, but clearly that didn't work. | How do I navigate having a sexual relationship with my boyfriend with my roommate either being in the apartment or having the possibility of my roommate coming home at any time? |
t3_3bnu8z | relationships | I'm [early-20s/F] and my insecurity issues are taking a toll on my relationship with my SO [early-20s/M]. | I'm currently in a one-year relationship. We're both in our early 20s.
I'm needlessly insecure. I randomly become anxious and suddenly worry that he doesn't want to be with me/doesn't actually care about me/etc. The problem isn't just that I feel insecure, it's that I actually become overdramatic and crazy. I even take it out on him and pester him about whether or not he really cares, which is clearly emotionally draining for him. Knowing that my behavior is tiring for him adds even more stress because then I start to worry that he'll leave me because of my insecurity. Being insecure sometimes makes me feel clingy, which in turn, pushes him away. I know that my constant worrying is driving a wall between us and making me miss out on just enjoying his company. Our relationship is great when I'm not crying/freaking out/being overdramatic, but I know I can't keep asking him to put up with my behavior forever.
My feelings about our relationship are just so… fickle. I have moments where I become crazy and anxious about our relationships, and then other times, I recognize that I'm being silly about my insecurities. When I start feeling unstable, I try to focus on my hobbies/passions and to keep busy, but I was hoping for some more insights/stories about similar experiences.
I also think I'm more emotionally-invested in our relationship, although I think that has less to do with our compatibility and more to do with who we are as people. I think more about my relationships, whether platonic or romantic, than he does about his. Is it normal/okay for there to be an imbalance? He does a lot for me and he treats me very well; I just know that he doesn't care as much about our relationship than I do, and he would definitely feel less affected if we ended our relationship. Is it possible for two people to still work in that case?
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read the post - I'd appreciate any insights! | I'm insecure and worry a lot. It's wearing down my SO/our relationship. I want to not be so anxious. |
t3_116li5 | BreakUps | Married couples of Reddit, have you and your spouse ever been separated? If so, for how long, what where the reasons and how long have you been married? | I (20F) was together with the love of my life (20M) for 4 years. We get married and it all goes downhill from there (a lot to that story, will tell if you ask). We were married for 5 months when he decided he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. His mother tells me to give it time, that she knows married couples who have been separated for a year at a time and have now been together for 30 years, blah blah. So what i'm wondering is, how many of you married couples have separated and gotten back together? Why did you separate and for how long? I guess I'm just asking for reassurance that there is still a chance that my marriage will work. | Husband and I have been separated for 4 months after only 5 months of marriage. Wondering if there are married couples who separated but got back together and how long you were split up for. |
t3_tbvlj | relationship_advice | Is it wrong to ask bf to take down pictures of his ex in his room? | Background: I (22) have been officially dating this guy (22) for four months, and we have a great relationship. He is currently really good friends with his ex (whom he dated for three years), they take the same classes in college, hang out, etc... When I first starting dating him it worried me, since I had never been "best friends" (his words) with any of my exes (only hang-out-with-every-now-and-then friends). I realize that she's an important part of his life now, and have almost come to terms with it.
The problem: There's only one thing that really gets on my nerves and it is the pictures he has up in his room of her. I know that they're there because he never thought to take them down (a few framed pictures of them together as well as a painting she drew of the two of them with phrases of love on it) but I recently asked him to, because in all honesty I hated having sex in his bed and then accidentally glimpsing a picture of them together. The problem is, when I asked him he got extremely defensive. He said to "give him a framed photo of us together" and that she "had worked really hard on the painting". He basically refused to take them down and they're still there, weeks later. Now, I have never been a jealous girl before this relationship so I have to wonder if I'm just giving into a crazy, unjustified jealous urge or is this weird behavior? | my boyfriend has multiple pictures of ex up in room, I asked him to take them down, he got defensive, they're still there. Am I crazy or is this weird? |
t3_japk3 | AskReddit | Would you let your kids watch Reality TV shows? | Looking around Reddit it's easy to see that there's not a lot of love for the average Reality TV series. Whether it's *Jersey Shore*, *Toddlers and Tiaras*, et al, Reddit as a group would prefer to see these types of shows gone. And I feel the same. I don't like that the quality of what is shown on TV has gone as low as it has in the past decade.
Talking about reality TV and TV in general with my wife the other day we found ourselves talking about if we ever reproduced, if we would allow our children to watch these types of shows.
At first reaction we both said no. As we couldn't think of any redeeming shows or qualities these shows had other than as a showcase for people to avoid in life and to not look up to as role models.
But we did keep talking about it and found a few shows that we would consider *safe* for viewing. Among that list were the following
* *Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs*
* *Deadliest Catch*
* *American Pickers*
* there were a few more but I can't remember them right now
In thinking about these shows we tried to find shows that didn't focus on the drama but rather the substance of the lives being focused on and avoided shows that were reality Game shows (*Survivor*, *The Apprentice*). Though in later seasons of *Deadliest Catch* the BS drama whining does get a bit over the top.
So keeping all that in mind, pick apart what I said or please give me feedback. Are there any worth watching reality TV shows out there? Is it all BS and drama like the stuff that MTV continuously puts out? | If you are a parent, or thinking about it, what reality tv shows would you let your children watch? If at all. |
t3_2pwgus | relationships | I [14/M] am in love with a girl [14/F] but there are many problems! | So, I [14/M] am in love with this girl [14/F]. Let's call her X. We basically are best friends, but I have always felt something for her. The problem is that X is madly in love with Y [14/F] (she is bi) and she likes Z [14/M]. For the past 3 months, I have been helping her to try and get Y to fall for her, and we're nearly there. The problem is that i went ahead and I confessed, but she said that she has no feelings for me, and that she loves me as a friend. So, what should I do? I can't seem to get her out of my mind, and I've been loving her for 4 years.
I know many of you guys will find this ridiculous, but please take a moment, step in my shoes, and give me some advice. | I, [14/M] love X [14/F], who is bi and loves Y [14/F] and likes Z [14/M] |
t3_2zw9s1 | relationships | Never had a relationship before [22M] - Asked a girl out [29F] | Just need to get my thoughts out of my head.
So I'm a 22M who has never had a relationship before, for the last few months I've noticed that I've been flirting with this girl at work, and she has been reciprocating.
Fastforward to last week and I ask her out, she says she feels the same way about me, but is hesitant because we are work colleagues and because she is older than me. Anyway we talk for a bit and she kisses me and asks me to go back to her place.
We get to her area and we are walking and talking and I stop her and I tell her I want to go back to her place but I wont, because I dont want her to regret anything in the morning. (She is going on holiday for the next 10 days after this night). I tell her because she is hesitant, she should think about what she wants in the time she has for her holidays and we can talk when she gets back.
Now I'm in some sort of limbo, where I cant stop thinking about her but also trying to force myself not to annoy her while she is on holidays. We've been chatting and shes been telling me how epic her holidays are but I just want to ask her what shes thinking (but at the same time I dont to ruin her holidays).
You dont have to reply to this thread, I just wanted to get this stuff out of my head. | Asked a work colleague out, not really sure what to do in a relationship or if a relationship with someone at work is a good idea. |
t3_2vmnzh | personalfinance | Can the state take my inheritance to cover medical costs of a relative? | Recently, I lost my father in an accident. Dad was nearly 70, with a very detailed Trust to handle everything in the event he died (he had struggled with cancer for most of the last few years). Everything (retirement, accident insurance, and company stocks) was split equally between my mother in law, brother, and myself according to what was called out in the trust.
Some five or so years before, my mother (his wife at the time) died after nearly a decade in hospice care. She went through a number of immensely expensive procedures, all fruitless and racked a huge medical bill (millions) during her time in the hospital. I believe she was old enough (mid sixties) to receive Medicare, who agreed to cover most of the bills. Somehow my dad worked it out such that he wouldn't loose everything to the state to cover these expenses once my mother passed away.
I've heard from my mother-in-law that upon receipt of my parents death certificates, the state could come looking for reparations to pay back some of what was due for covering my mother's medical expenses almost a decade ago.
I have essentially spent zero of what I've received so far, and I'm afraid to do much of anything with it at this point until I understand what could happen. What assets (if any) would the state be entitled to? House? Retirement? Anything tangible? | Lost father recently; both parents now deceased. Would like to know what assets the state of California would be entitled to as repayment for mother's hospice care. |
t3_4l2b9c | relationships | I [26F] found out my bf [27 m] has been making fun of me to his friends behind my back for 2 years. | I'm on mobile so bare with me.
_____________________________________________________________
My bf of 3 years let me use his computer to research some pain I had beennhaving in my stomach. I went to send myself an email with an article that was helpful and it pulled up his Gmail. I don't know why but I typed in my and hit search.
_______________________________________________________________________
It pulled up several emaila between him and various friends insulting me. In one he said I was cagey and getting upset because he was purposefully ignoring me. This message was to his ex girlfriend.
__________________________________________________________________________
Another string was deeply upsetting. I told him once that I was concerned I have a witchy looking face. He played it off amd said he thought I as beautiful. The email is entitled: I could do better. Its between him and a friend who I do not like but ia his best friend. The friend says that I look like a witch and that I have put a spell on him. The friends says I am a "saggy titted witch face" and that he can do better. Another email later has them both laughing about this because I dyed my hair blonde and my boyfriend said that I look "a little less like a witch".
____________________________________________________________________________
Theres other stuff but none that play on my insecurities like that. I just am so distraught reading all of this. They are from less than a year ago, so !maybe he thinks differently now? I dont know what to do or how to confront him about this because I violated his privacy reasons reading them. Should I forgive him? He is still close friends with these people. | Found emails of bf making fun of my looks and general demeanor with his friends. Don't know how to proceed. |
t3_3coyun | relationships | I [19 M] met this girl [18 F], both really into each other on many levels; however, it's quite complicated | In Mid-June, I met this girl in Rome. She was on a senior trip from Frankfurt; I was living there. We both like each other, physically and intellectually. I was (and still am) very infatuated.
However, she had to leave and go back to Frankfurt. Last day she was in Italy, we went to the beach. Had a really great time I asked her to keep in touch, and before I leaving we kissed and hugged, wich was really nice.
Then she left. We texted each other for a long while (she would text me first, we would go long hours texting). Then she left and went with her family in Sicily, where apparently there was no wifi. In the meantime I was thinking that maybe I could go to Frankfurt to meet her again. But since when she came back, she barely even answers. I can't just ask her out of the blue.
P.S.: Next year, we're both going to uni, in the same country. | Infatuated with a garl, I would like to go and visit her in Frankfurt, but I need to ask her! |
t3_3hamel | relationships | My [23 M] ex-girlfriend [24 F] wants to get back with me, I don't know if I want | Sorry, this is not a very exciting story, but I think I just need some point of view. I must precise that it was my first relationships. And sorry English is not my principal language.
So I was with this girl for 6 month. The first months were great (i really connected with her) but the last month, I feel that she wasn't very attracted to me anymore. We did some things like normal people I think (movies, restaurants, walk, ... nothing crazy). We decided to broke up when she refused to kiss me in public (I was so mad, maybe i overreacted).
One week after the brake up, she was already with another guy, but i think it didn't last long (like a month). I was devastated that I could be replaced this quick. I don't know who finished the relation.
Then after, I think, three weeks of being single, she text me to going for a drink. I'm not sure if I should do it, because I started to forget this girl but in the other hand, I really like this girl: she has a lot things that I like. In the text she said she was sorry, that she wasn't ready for a relationship with me at the moment, and she understand that I could decline her invitation, but it will make her very sad and very angry about losing her chance with me. The excuses seem sincere to me.
I really don't know if I want to retry with her. I have a strange feeling that she want to be with me because she do not want to be single but i'm not very sure. But i really like this girl, she is very special to me. | Ex girlfriend wants to get back with me, but i feel that she just want a relation to not being single; I like this girl. Do I retry a relation with her ? |
t3_13m19e | relationships | I [16 M] don't know what to do due to my best friend [16 F] asked me... | I know we are only in highschool and just seem like kids, but I would really appreciate it if you would forget about that.
I've been friends with this girl for around two years now. We've talked a lot over these two years and I've helped her through break ups and family problems and what not. Everything seemed fine until Sunday, 11/17/12. This was the day things changed.
Late Sunday night I was talking to her. Telling her what was going on during the past week because I was out of town for a funeral. This was the part when it got wieird. I'll give you all the conversation:
Me: Babies. My little cousin Leah had me play horsey all day yesterday. My clothe
s were filthy afterward
Her: You can play horsey with me ;)
Me: Um that escalated quickly
Her: But forreal. What would you say if I proposed a "one night stand" type of thing?
Me: Sure why not? There's no harm
Her: No strings attached, just a friendly theft of virginity.
This was where I had no idea what to do. And I still don't know what to do. We still talk perfectly fine.
What I do know is that even though she says that there are no strings attached, there will be. No doubt. But how will this affect of relationship as best friends? I don't want it to be awkward afterwards.
I also do know that I shouldn't just lose my virginity to just someone I care about a lot but someone I can love and be loved back. | Best friend of 2 years asked for a one night stand. I don't know how to go about this in anyway. |
t3_3ienvw | loseit | Why are my goal calories so close to my BMR/TDEE when I need to lose over 100 pounds? | I'm a 5'4" woman, 33 years old and I weigh 239 pounds. My goal weight is 135. I have a sedentary job and have not incorporated regular exercise into my routine yet. When I calculate my TDEE using this site ( it says that it's 2042 calories per day.
That website says I should reduce my calories by no more than 25% below my TDEE, but in order to lose 2 lbs per week (if 3500 calories = 1 lb of fat) I should actually reduce it by 1000 calories per day, which is nearly 50%. But that makes my daily calorie goal 1042, which is lower than what most people recommend for women no matter what their weight loss goals are. Isn't one of the few benefits of being as overweight as I am that I can eat *more* calories and still lose weight?
I also tried the calorie calculator recommended in this subreddit's FAQ ( but it says that I should only reduce my calories to 220 below my BMR (from 2132 to 1912) to lose weight. It says the "extreme fat loss" option is not available to me, though it says that's for people with a BMI of 30 or above and my BMI is 40. How is a deficit of 220 calories per day enough to lose 1-2 pounds per week?
Am I really supposed to be eating ~1900 calories a day to lose 1-2 pounds a week? Is the whole "3500 calories = 1 pound" thing not true? I read through the FAQ here and don't see a direct answer to this.
For whatever it's worth, for the past 6.5 weeks I've been losing 1-2 pounds a week by eating 1600 calories per day on average so maybe this actually IS true... but how?
== | Two separate websites recommended on this forum say I should only cut a few hundred calories per day to lose 1-2 lbs a week. I am over 100 pounds overweight so I find this hard to believe. Is it true? |
t3_484f2g | relationship_advice | We [26 M/F] have been dating 6 months and are not in love (yet?). Please help! | We've been dating for around 6 months. This is the easiest and best relationship either of us has been in and we tick a lot of each other's boxes for intellect and attraction and humor and communication.
The problem is that even though we have something so good, we don't feel passionately in love (yet?). We both care for each other, enjoy each other's company, and want to see and talk to each other often. We will definitely remain friends if the relationship were to end. But the feeling of being in love is missing and we aren't sure if it's better to try and build that (how do you build strong feelings?) or look for partners who we feel more strongly about.
And so, r/relationship-advice, we are bringing this problem to you. Have any of you been in a relationship where the strong feelings grew later on? What did you do to ignite love? Or are we fighting a losing battle? It's so hard to give up on something good without searching for ways to make it strong. | Have any of you been in a relationship where deep feelings of love grew later on? What did you do to ignite it? Or are we fighting a losing battle? |
t3_131su5 | relationships | Is it time for me [M30] to break up with her [F29] in hopes of a possible future? | So we've been dating for about 15 months now. When we started dating I wasn't looking for a long term thing as I knew I'd be moving out of town for school a year later. But given my luck, I met an awesome chick at the wrong time. I could happily be with her for quite some time and the last year and a few months have been amazing but now...
* **I'm a 6hr drive away** which sucks for both of us
* **We're not getting younger** and relationships at our age get serious quick
* **I'm not ready for marriage** but I can potentially see myself with her
* **Thanksgiving is coming** and accepting her invite would mean extended one-on-one time w/ the folks, solidifying us even more
I probably should have stopped this from getting so serious a while ago but she really is quite an amazing person and her awesomeness got the best of me. It'll break both of our hearts but my thought process is this: At our age we shouldn't waste any more time, long term relationships seem to be a bit more serious when you're 30. So I shouldn't rob her of any more time and I should only do not-too-serious dating until I'm ready for marriage. If it's meant to be, we'll get back together then.
Reddit, is this the right time to break up with her?
Or should I wait and enjoy what we have, make vacation plans, frolic on the beach, have snow ball fights, make hot chocolate in a cozy cabin by the mountains and fall so madly deeply in love that I forget I've dug myself in a giant hole that I can't get out of? | We're in love and around marriage age but I'm not ready for marriage. Do I break it off before it gets tougher to leave or fall even more madly deeply in love? |
t3_29ey5w | relationships | The love of my life [20F] left me [20M], I can't get over her, my life's falling apart.. | I met my ex-girlfriend back in Istanbul, Turkey, where we're from. We were going so good that we moved to UK together and are currently in the same university.
Exactly a year ago.. There was a rock band contest where I sang, and played guitar with my band. There I was, singing, 'Nice Dream' by Radiohead. I saw her in the middle of the crowd, I literally couldn't breathe. I screwed up a little bit of the song.
After the song, I went there to see her. I got her number, we started dating a day later. I became a romantic, and I couldn't have been happier.. Our interests are exactly the same, I can't count a thing that I like, and she doesn't. There we we're, 5 weeks ago, I was pretty sure that I was going to spend my entire life with that girl. I was taking her out for a romantic dinner, after leaving the restaurant, two guys came and started harassing her, I told them to stop but they didn't. One of them punched me to the ground, I got up and beat them up. She said that I overreacted and that I have anger issues and that I need help. I denied and thought she was kidding for a second, but she was dead serious and told me that if I don't go and get help, she'd leave me. I didn't and she left me, she moved out from our college accommodation. I tried to get her back and she refused me several times alredy even though I did nothing wrong. For 5 weeks I can't eat, sleep. I even failed at most of my classes. Nothing I tried or my friends made for me felt better. She seems sad too but not as sad as me.
That's my story.. My question is, what is the cure for a broken heart? | The love of my life left me for a stupid reason, nothing I have done made me feel better. What is the cure for a broken heart? |
t3_hz16b | AskReddit | I just got kicked out of college for academic reasons; how do I tell my parents and what should I do now? | For anyone interested here's the (rather boring) story:
At my College you have to complete two semesters of Developmental math classes if you want to stay in the school. I legitimately failed the first semester (knowing the material, but just barely not getting 70%), while the second semester I had hit a sort of dilemma with the teacher (She was much harder than the one I had the previous semester) so I didn't have a perfect score. I knew the material, knew the class, and was sure that I'd pass this time. Didn't.
The class was pass-fail and regardless of your actual percentage in the class you have to get a 70% or higher on the final. Each question was worth was 5%. I got fucking 65% in the class, and went to review the final I ended up putting a negative two when the real answer was positive. I talked to a counselor who, quite to my surprise, was very sympathetic when I told her the situation. She said that sucked, but the best I can do according to the rules is try to apply elsewhere until I complete the class AGAIN.
My question to you, fair redditors, is how I break this to my parents? They're not the type to take lightly to this.
Another problem is that most of the classes at the community colleges in my area are already full. I can't just be doing nothing for a whole semester. Any advice? | I fucked up and got kicked out of College for grades. How do I break this to my parents, and what do I do with my life if I'm not going to school for a semester? |
t3_2g1mwp | legaladvice | My car was crashed while in valet at a Westin Hotel, a month later, it still hasn't been fixed, I have no car. What are my options. | I stayed a night at a Westin Hotel, woke up to a phone call at 9am saying there was an incident with my car.
The bumper was hanging off, headlight smashed, and the wheel was bent. They claimed over and over that it must have been a hit and run. My brother had to take a $60 cab to the airport and they told me they would get me a rental car. After waiting an hour, they said they couldn't get a rental today and paid for my cab, minus tip.
I have in writing and emails that they were fully responsible for all costs. However, this was just the beginning of a month long ordeal of dealing with rage quitting managers from Westin and Laz Parking.
I've never in my life had people scream and be so rude to me in a customer service position.
I have been without a car for a month. I had a rental car for a week, but I was screamed at and threatened that they wouldn't pay for my car repairs if I didn't take it back after a week.
There is a university here in town. Co-workers have been egging me on to grab a law student for pro-bono work. Would it be wise to seek counsel? What are my options.
One month without a car is kind of a big deal to my life. I have been riding my bicycle everywhere. | Valet crashes my car, says they will pay for everything, threaten me to take back my rental car after a week, 1 month with my car in a shop |
t3_51u018 | relationships | I (16M) need advice what to do with her (15F) | The first time I met her we kind of clicked but I had a gf at the time so nothing happened although we did sext a bit and she was openly interested in me. Few months passed and I was single then she got a bf and then she became single but I had a gf again and now I am single and she has a bf.
She is hot, not sure she is my personality type though if I'm being truly honest. She told me sometime ago that she knows we will end up together, now keep in mind she has a bf while saying this. Today we met for ice cream and randomly joined 2 people (My idea cause it was fun) and she later when we went to the park she asked to see my abs while being very touchy, so I asked the 3rd guy what he thinks and I told her she has a bf, so we decided I step back from her out of arms reach and take my shirt off. Then she wanted to touch them and she kept doing that for a bit. And then I had to leave so I said my goodbyes and put my shirt on etc. The other guy wanted to take his shirt off too but she shut him down XD
When I came home she sent a text saying it was fun but we need to meet just the two of us.
What should I do about this situation? | girl with a boyfriend is making moves on me (I think) and wants to meet alone. She admitted that I make her horny in the past and says we will end up together. What should I do? |
t3_1fhchi | relationship_advice | [24/f] Wary about boyfriend [31/m] attending his first therapy session inside the woman's apartment on a Saturday. | Relationship duration: 6 months (short but we grew close to each other quickly & are now deep-rooted in each others lives). My boyfriend has been meaning to go to therapy due to extreme jealousy, insecurity, and issues (example: he often accuses me of cheating). He finally went to his first session this morning. Here is what I'm concerned about: it took place inside of the therapists (a female) apartment; it's a Saturday; he's not entirely sure about what her credentials are.
The whole thing seems fishy to me. I don't know if I'm overanalyzing or maybe there's some merit to the one who points the finger has three pointing back at him. | Boyfriends therapy session took place inside of her apartment on a Saturday. This seems unprofessional & unheard of. Not sure if there's something wrong or if I'm overanalyzing. |
t3_cp5qb | AskReddit | Dear Reddit: How do I/you deal with having noisy neighbors? How can I learn to not be bothered by them? | I've had a string of loud neighbors (made worse by shitty apartments with no insulation) this past 18 months and I've moved three times as a result. I finally found an apartment with thick walls, which was more than I could really afford but I thought it would be worth it for the quiet. I signed a year lease (only option for the complex) which I still have nine months left on. The first three months were perfect. My neighbor was very quiet, in fact I never heard her at all. She moved out a few weeks ago and her replacement is extremely loud, even with the insulated walls. She bangs on the floor. I'm not sure what she's doing but it sounds like she's knocking over furniture or throwing stuff on the floor. I keep getting woken up by loud crashing noises. She also has a TV in the bedroom that she plays late at night. The walls do insulate it a bit but I can still hear it.
My question is - how can I not let this bother me? I don't think it's at all unreasonable for her to watch TV whenever she wants so I'm not going to ask that she confine it to the living room. I wear earplugs ever night (and have done for the last 18 months). They just don't seem to block much noise out. I also have white noise machines that I play but once again they don't block every out. I want to know how to just not let noise bother me? Millions of people live in apartments and deal with noise and I want to as well.
My goal is to live in a house so that I'm no longer bothered by people living above or below me but I already pay 75% of my miserly income in rent and that's still cheaper than any houses in the area. Plus with the year lease I'm stuck where I am. So any advice on how to just sleep through noise? | how are people able to sleep through loud noise? I no longer want to feel like I can only sleep when it's silent, I want to hear my neighbors and it still not bother me, how can I do this? |
t3_2y5r51 | relationship_advice | I [21/F] just got out of a relationship, but am now kinda seeing this guy [30/M]....help? | So my boyfriend of a year and a half broke my heart just over a month ago. Right off I slept around a lot and I bounced back fairly well.
But I've been hanging out with this guy in my really close group of friends. We both love comics and we have the same great taste in awful movies. It's amazing.
I may have decided about a week ago to kiss him and we've been getting hot and heavy ever since. We have yet to have sex, mainly because neither of us remembered protection, but both of us really want to.
Before anyone says anything about the age difference, it's not a problem for either of us. I'm actually the mature one of the two of us, so it's not a big deal. This will in no way affect my decision.
My problem is, I really like this guy. I've known him for years, and I really think we'd do well together. But is it too soon to start something? I don't want to end up hurting him. | Boyfriend of 1.5 yrs broke up with me a month ago, whored around, found a really cool guy. Is it too early to have something with him? |
t3_1y7bbo | relationships | Me [13 M] with my Girlfriend [14 F] 1 month, need urgent help on kissing | Well, my girlfriend said she wants to take a 'cute pic' tomorrow, obviously hinting she wants me to kiss her for a while and then take a picture of it.
Well, just this valentines day I had my first kiss with her, it wasn't but about 3 seconds and our lips were just touching, not much going on.
She has 'made out' before and I haven't, what do I do so our lips aren't just 'touching' for about 15 seconds, I don't want her to think I'm a bad kisser, and I don't want anything TOO far, no tongues or anything, but what do I do so our lips aren't just touching? Help much appreciated | I want to kiss my gf tomorrow, what do I do during the kiss so our lips aren't just 'touching' (I'm only 13 no tongues) |
t3_419lx8 | relationships | Me [24M] dating [21M], he's mostly new to all this. Looking for tips on overcoming nerves and moving forward | Been on a few dates with a lovely sweet guy, he's mostly new to it all whereas I'm not.
He's a bit nervous/shy about physical contact/intimacy. I've been aware of this and moved a bit slower than I normally would (and I'm old fashioned & slow anyway). I've always been the less experienced/confident one when dating or being in relationships in the past so this is a new side of the coin for me.
On our latest date we went to an amazing restaurant and had a little sofa thing in the corner: we were able to sit close and touch while chatting. We chilled at my place afterwards and eventually had a little cuddle on the sofa which was great. I really wanted to go for a kiss but wasn't sure if I should so I didn't. He stayed over (didn't sleep together) and seemed happy about everything in the morning.
Basically I really don't want to scare him off or make him uncomfortable. How can I communicate that I'm keen to keep moving forward, but whatever pace he's comfortable with is fine by me? I think I'll have to make the moves for a while, I'm just not sure how to gauge what's going to be ok and when? | dating someone who's new to it, he's nervous and I want to make sure I don't make him uncomfortable or go too fast etc. Not been the 'guiding hand' before if you will. |
t3_3cnhhv | relationship_advice | Worried about my cousin [14/f] | So I'm very worried about my little cousin. She just turned 14 recently, and is about to be a freshman in highschool. She met a boy [19] at an amusement park where he works. He is about to be 20 and is a sophomore in college. Her mom keeps trying to get her to cut off contact with him, but she keeps going behind my aunt's back to talk to him and sneaks out to see him. This has been going on for about a month.
I'm worried because that's just a creepy age gap. She's lying to my aunt and uncle, and is potentially putting herself in a very dangerous situation. She doesn't seem to understand that he is preying on her innocence. I don't want to hear anything about how he could actually be a decent guy or how I'm overreacting. She is barely FOURTEEN years old. He is a predator. I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how I can talk to her and help her understand that he is not as nice as he seems. My family is all really worried about her wellbeing, and she isn't thinking this through. | younger cousin is lying about seeing this pervy 20 year old and i dont know how to talk to her about it. |
t3_3c5y9y | relationships | I [25F] am struggling with having a much higher libido than my [26M] partner. | I'm using a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my username.
I've been with my 26M boyfriend for five years now. As is the case with many relationships, we had a lot of sex at the beginning of our relationship, like multiple times every day. Obviously that is hard to keep up as you get older and have actual responsibilities, and I definitely do not expect or want to have sex three times a day. However, we do not have sex nowhere near often as I'd like.
I would say that we are in love. We spend almost every day together and I truly do feel as though I want to spend the rest of my life with him and that this feeling is mutual. Yet it is really hard being with someone who does not have anywhere near the same libido as me. Currently we have sex 1-2 times a week at most, but I would have sex every day if it were up to me. I am worried what our sex life will be like as we get older and have children. I don't want a dead bedroom situation.
I'm at the point where I don't even want to initiate sex because the rejection is eating away at my self-esteem. It makes me feel dejected and unattractive, even though I know I look pretty good. I actually feel as though I look even better than I did when we started dating. But being rejected so often makes me feel like there is something wrong with me or that I'm doing something wrong.
He has every right to say no. Just because he is a guy does not mean that he should be open for sex 24/7. I don't expect that.
The thing is, I don't know how to go about talking to him about this. I don't want to sound accusatory or hurt him and I don't want to guilt him into having sex with me. I want to know if there is anything I can do about the situation. I just crave more physical intimacy and want to be wanted sexually. | I am not satisfied with the amount of sex I am having in my relationship, do not feel desired and am unsure of how to broach the subject with my SO without hurting his feelings. |
t3_4bbkl5 | tifu | TIFU by trying to rush home to my injured sister but instead breaking my nose | So today I was out for a casual bike out into town and back, when I received a call from my mum saying "Ya sisters fallen out the trampoline backwards get home ASAP", "alright coming now" was my response. Being the great big brother I am (father figure if you will) I start hauling my ass back down the road from which I came. So I managed to make it about half way back before My fuck up happened. Remember the old saying step on a crack you marry a rat? Well apparently if you replace step on with bike over the outcome is not marrying a rat, it is eating shit. So after flying over my handlebars and face planting into the pavement I was helped up by a kind lady who asked if I was alright, for some reason I decided to tell her I was fine, except for the excruciating pain coming from the middle of my face, but the second part didn't really find it's way into my response. I got up from the ground just about holding back tears and slowly made my way back home. Turns out my sister had just hurt her back, and was fine within a couple hours, ME on the other hand, just had 2 x-ray scans done and as expected, I have a broken nose. First broken bone and I took it like a man, no tears were shed today. | Had to rush home to my injured little sister on my bike, turns out of you fall off of your bike and try to forcefully kiss the ground you are rewarded with pain and broken bones. |
t3_490dan | relationships | Me [20 F] with my BF [19 M] 1 year, I found nudes of all his exes | So my boyfriend and I have been dating for just about a year. I feel like he is perfect for me, and we even rent a little house together. I feel happier with him than I have with anyone else, including my previous 4 year relationship. I have been especially happy as of lately because life just seemed to be falling in place with him. Despite the short duration of our relationship, I truly do believe we love eachother a lot.
However, that being said, last week I went to upload a picture from the laptop we share onto facebook, and unintentionally found a stash of nudes of ALL his ex girlfriends, myself as of very recently, and even a girl we (used to) buy weed from and suggestive modeling pics of his best friends girlfriend.
I was heartbroken finding this. I still can't seem to get the images out of my head and it makes me feel like I am not good enough for him. I feel so angry yet so sad. My first instinct was to break it off with him, which I almost did, but when I confronted him he started crying and apologizing and begging me not to leave him, saying he has never felt happier with another person and he wants us to start a life together. He basically told me he wants to prove to me he can be faithful. I told him I was really heartbroken and I felt cheated on but I would try to forgive him. That was exactly a week ago.
Since then, I've been trying to live as normally as possible, just going to work, socializing with friends, etc. We (BF & I) have been getting a long just fine for the most part. Except for the fact that I feel like absolute trash. I can't get over what happened, I just keep thinking about it, and it's driving me nuts. I think about it and I get angry, shaky, depressed, and overall just discontent. I try to talk to him about it and he just starts crying and saying he feels foolish, but I just can't get over the fact that if I never would have found the images he would still have them and still be using them. | my boyfriend has kept nudes of all his exes (and a couple other girls) and wants to try and make up for it, but I just can't get it out of my head. |
t3_3acxht | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] he cheated on me, yet i still want to be with him? | we've only been together for half a year or so, and he said he was talking to a friend and they were both drunk and talking about life (AND ME) and he slept with a different girl. i have never heard of this girl before and i dont understand why he cheated. he says he regrets it (but they all say that right?)
he told me he stopped and thought "WTF am i doing!". I am trying to move past all of this. my trust is absolutely shattered, but i love him. i keep trying to explain im broken but i wanna work on our relationship. i feel like he doesn't take our relationship seriously. i put it in my top 5 priority list- always. and i feel like he doesnt have it in his top 10.
i try to talk to him, and try to get him to open up with me but he is very closed with his feelings. i dont know how to get him to tell me how he feels. am i stupid for even trying? i could use advice from people who have taken back their cheating partner. | i got cheated on. he told me he regrets it more than anything and i wanna work on the relationship. he seems to not put it as a priority. is this hopeless? |
t3_3jqfia | relationships | I (24f) and this guy (24m) are getting to know each other and he left last night for an Air Force mission. | So this wonderful Air Force guy (24m) and I (24f) have been getting to know each other for the past few weeks and things are really blossoming into something great. We haven't met in person yet but we text, talk on the phone and Skype. (Met on a site.) This weekend was going to be our first date/meeting and early this morning he found out he got volunteered for a humanitarian mission. It's only 8 weeks so nothing crazy but I'm just wondering what to expect or what I can do?
I grew up military but that was different than being with someone in it. Should I just make it known he still means a lot? Send him daily messages? We both said that we only date one person at a time so I'm not worried about that. Plus, he said the first thing he will do when he gets back is see me :).
I guess I'm just looking for some perspective or what is appropriate in what to do since we aren't really "in a relationship" yet. Or what to do to make him know I still want that while he is gone. | Possible relationship with a super awesome guy who is being sent on a mission. What can I do to show him I still want to be in this and care? What can I expect from him? |
t3_2qdn3l | tifu | TIFU by Grabbing my younger sisters boob. | For context I am 20 and my little sister is like 12. Just hit puberty.
So my older brother is getting married. Great right? So after the ceremony everyones still in the church taking some pictures. My brother wants to take a picture with our mom, siblings, and myself. So it was framed so that my mom was in the middle with my oldest brother on the left and myself on the right. My sister was then in front of me and our younger brother in front of my brother.
So I am looking mostly at my brother so that we are positioned the same way. He put his arm around my brother and I do the same instinctively. Now let me tell you when you grab your 12 year olds sisters boob in front of literally 150-200 people you just hope no one talks about it. Thank god everyone realized it was a mistake. Although it took like 5 minutes before everyone calmed down enough to realize I did not do it on purpose. | I (20) grabbed my younger sisters (12) boob in front of my older brothers whole wedding (over 100 people). Died of embarrassment. |
t3_2xwt14 | relationships | I[16M] met a chick [16F] at a music festival, got along, got number and she told me to text her, did so and no reply. Wanting to follow her up. | Hi all,
So this weekend I was at a music festival in my home city, quite big and lots of people there. Around the end I met this chick, call her Jay [16], I'm 16 as well.
So we hit it off alright initially, talked before the next act and I got her number, stupid me didn't test the number to see if it was right. I stayed with her the rest of the show and she was real cool. At the end we hug, she tells me to text her and we go our separate ways.
Now this is the first properly decent chick that I got the number of and I am pretty determined to try follow it. So yesterday sent her a text ("Hey, this is ****, from music festival last night :))"), which is a pretty weak start. It's been a day, didn't get a response so talking to my mates I sent the number another text saying along the lines of "sorry if this is the wrong number, this cute girl gave it to me at the festival". Still no response going on 8 hours after that one(>24hrs from first).
I want to follow her up so I want advice from you all on what to do if she doesn't text back(might be because of wrong number, not sure, even if she didn't want anything relationship like she could have responded). I know her first name and it's quite different so I can find her pretty easily and have since found the last name. I know I could send her a message on Facebook saying I sent a text but it may have been the wrong number but that may come off as weird(which I'm willing to do if it might get me there). You guys are probably better at this so I will take in all suggestions. | met girl at music festival, she was keen, got number, she said to text her, no reply, want advice to follow up |
t3_2h91gc | relationships | I (20f) love my fiancé (23m) of 3.5 yrs dearly, but I'm overwhelmed by his past. | Let me just preface this by saying my fiancé and I have been living together for almost 2 years. We have a wonderful, fulfilling sex life, and are extremely compatible on many levels.
However, I have a job that requires my presence for 50 hours a week and I am a full-time student at my local campus for engineering. He is also on a pretty tight schedule that has him working nearly 60 hours a week.
Needless to say, we're both very busy people.
Luckily, we still see each other as often as possible and make it habit to eat dinner together and have "sexy time". So that's not at all the issue.
The issue comes into play when the women of his past, ranging from younger than I to very much older (45 even, which even I applaud him for) start texting and calling him.
There have been instances where 3 and 4 women of his past have been pestering him at a time. They bring up what they refer to as "good times" and question whether he is happy with me or not.
He always tells me, but never actually shows me evidence of these encounters. He claims "to delete them since he has already told me what was important".
Am I wrong for being irritated by this? Though I completely trust him, and don't believe he would lie to me about what was said, I do think he may be covering up some things that may hurt me.
How do I handle this feeling of doubt? | women of his past adore him and keep pestering him. I'm afraid they may be planting seeds of doubt into his headabout our relationship, though there is no evidence. |
t3_36r8p8 | relationships | How can I (18 M) reassure my (17 F) girlfriend following some dissapointing test scores? | As Senior in high school there is a lot of pressure to do well academically in order to get into the college of your dreams. My girlfriend and I are both very competitive students who stress about grades and study hard. It may seem silly to some, but test scores feel like they're going to determine the rest of our life. My girlfriend in particular feels this way very strongly.
Over the past few months test have been coming in and thus far I've done better than her. Whenever she discovers this she is crushed and is inconsolable. Whenever I try to talk to her about it she dismisses what I have to say because I "don't understand what it's like to get bad scores.
Is there a way I can talk to her without seeming condescending and make her realize that how well I do shouldn't affect her and test scores aren't even that big a deal? | Got better test scores than gf, she's heartbroken about it and I don't know what to say to her |
t3_3lreit | relationships | Me [20 M] with my future roommate [20 M]. I recently moved into a new apartment with a friend. One person from last year is living here again and it seems like cleanliness was an issue. | So basically, I moved into a new apartment very recently with a friend of mine(also 20 M, he is neat), and, for the most part, I love it. However, the past tenants were disgusting and left the place a mess when they left, and from what I can tell, one of them is returning for this year.
When I arrived, I walked in to see a room with multiple mattresses and a refrigerator filled with old rotten food, including 6 month old eggs and milk and year old meat, in addition to some perishables bought sometime in August. There was hair in the bathroom drawers and the past residents left a massive amount of their possessions here. With my friend, we already went through and cleaned the refrigerator and the rest of the kitchen area, but I am worried that the person who is returning contributed to that mess. What can I do so this is a non-issue, because I don't want to have to deal with that type of mess this year. | Former tenants of my apartment were gross, one is returning. What can I do to make sure it doesn't get too bad? |
t3_kds78 | self | Spoke with someone on Omegle, accidentally pressed backspace. Save me, Reddit! | So I was chatting with this super cool individual on Omegle at around 10pm EST, and we got all the way to the point where she wanted me to download YIM and add her. I didn't want to use that client, and apparently it was for a good reason. While it was installing, I was chatting with her, and the installer popped to the front for a brief moment, deselecting the text field as I pressed Backspace. She claimed to be from Oregon, was 21, her name started with a C (I trust you reddit, I swear). We talked about her spiritual views (back and forth between deism and the one where nature and god are semantically the same), her strange Chris Hansen - esque behavior on Omegle, and her job. Now I know that there are probably tons of "Help me reddit, I'm bad at Omegle!" posts, and I never see any of them on the front page which must be a bad sign for me, but it would be awesome if this worked. So if you are her, comment with your job title. And if you're not, well, discuss something interesting so this gets more likely to be seen. Or give me tips on finding her. Or something.
Best part? Not even sure she peruses Reddit. Suck on that, life. | Met on Omegle, accidentally navigated away. Looking for this awesome person via her job title. I'm paranoid (we discussed that). |
t3_3qzo0u | relationships | Dealing with my virginity [23 M] | I feel like I have a heavy load on my mind and I'm sorry for dumping it here, I don't have many people to talk to about this.
I'm 23, came to Europe for my studies, and I'm currently interning in Paris. On work days I don't think about it too much as I keep myself busy, but on weekends I can't help but thinking about the fact that I'm a kissless virgin, and it's really eating me inside. My social skills are not very good and I'm especially terrible with women. I haven't spoken to a girl around my age in months, and by spoken I mean having a conversation in a normal social setting (apart from the workplace). The few friends I have are all male, I don't even consider the girls I know as acquaintances as I haven't established a decent contact with them.
I've tried Tinder, Badoo, OkCupid and whatever apps but it didn't help at all, almost no matches and very few answers to messages I send, at least here in Paris. (though I've had better success when I spent an exchange semester in Asia)
I also have self-confidence issues, that have been pursuing me since high school where I was mocked and picked on a lot because of my thin appearance and my shyness. During high school I was also friendzoned once by a girl, that was my only attempt at having a relationship or sharing a moment with a girl, apart from during a trip last year in Eastern Europe where I had an erotic massage.
I don't feel like a normal person in society, especially when I go out and I see couples everywhere, shopping, in movies, in bars, restaurants...and when people talk about relationships like they take it for granted. I get frustrated and angry, I don't even want to go outside anymore.
I just want someone to talk to and help me get past this problem that's been crippling me for far too long. What do I start with?
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. | Kissless virgin at 23, bad social skills and self-confidence issues. How do I overcome my situation with women and get rid of my virginity? |
t3_3j16fb | legaladvice | Please help, can I get fire for posting a injury claim? | I work at a big box store (lowes, home depot) and recently I was helping a customer gather wood and one they grabbed hit my jaw and broke a molar in half.
This is my question. I have to take a drug test IF I report it and I take oxycodone for my back. ( I of course have a perscription) I take it after work to help me sleep. Could this get me fired? I never filed with HR that I take anything bc the person that use to work in HR said I didn't have to.
We have a new HR employee and I DO work with power equipment. But like I said I never take it before work.
The reason I'm thinking about filing is It will probably cost anywhere from 300-5,000 to get fixed. Also whenever someone files a claim it cost the store like 25k so that sucks.
Thank you so much for your time and advice. | Basically Im nervous to file a report because I take a medication that the old HR told me it was ok to not file but I'm still concerned it would backfire on me. |
t3_s9xtm | relationships | Where do I go from here? I need help. | Hello Reddit, this is my first post and I am really hoping you guys can help me out here. My girlfriend and I have been dating for seven months now, we are nearing eight, but lately things haven't been the same. It's been difficult communicating and it seems like we are drifting apart. I am 19 and she is 16, it sounds like a huge age gap, but it surely does not feel like it when we are together. I honestly believe we are perfect for each other and I love her with all my heart, but lately it's been different. A couple weeks ago we tried going on a break, but I eventually caved and had to see her (which may have made things worse). After speaking with her I realized she probably needs more time. So I proposed two weeks of not seeing each other (currently one week in) to hopefully fix our problem. I told her I would not contact her in any way unless she gave me the okay to do so. However she would normally text me in the evening to see how my day was and say goodnight. She did this during our first "break" and began to do it during this one too. However I haven't heard from her since monday night (now saturday afternoon) and it is driving me insane. I don't know what to do. To make things harder she lives across the street from me and I have to see her going out to her car etc. I'm finding this extremely difficult.
So my question to you reddit is what should I do? Should I just let things be where they are right now? Or try to contact her just to see how things are going? Also, if I do not contact her should I talk to her after next weekend, or let her come to me? | Girlfriend and I are on a break, she needs to figure out some things and not talking or seeing her is driving me insane. |
t3_2t415y | tifu | TIFU by giving a homeless man 13 gallons worth of empty water bottles | So I was our apartment's backyard, putting all of our empty water bottles, soda cans, and other recyclables into 13 gallon trash bags.
A homeless guy happened to see me putting all the bottles, and asked if he can have some bottles. I offered him one full bag of empty water bottles, which he could go recycle and get a bit of money. So he took it.
Little did I know, I think he switched our backyard's lock while I wasn't looking.
Not only is my $250 bike is stolen, now we can't access our backyard from the back gate anymore, but he is freely able to go in and out and steal anything in the backyard. I've noticed more bags have been missing....
Now I'm very concerned. He can walk in our backyard, then if he wanted to, smash our sliding window door, granting access to the house, and steal all of our valuables....
How can I remove this lock? | Gave homeless man a bag of empty bottles to recycle; he changes our back gate lock, steals my $250 bike, and now has free access in and out of our yard and can possible rob our house. |
t3_12gegp | relationships | My Wife [29f] is having a really stressful time right now, and I [27m] seriously needs assistance helping her cope! | My wife (married for 3 months, been together for 10 years) has never been one of those people who's good at dealing with stress or pressure. I personally use an important or tight deadline as a driving force, looking at the problem logically and approaching it in the most reasonable way possible. My wife, however, tends to let the stress snowball until it literally stops her thinking straight. It escalates to the point sometimes where she can no longer even speak without it descending into incoherent mumbling. it's starting to get to the point where I fear it's going to massively affect her health.
She is under a lot of stress right now, enough so that it would cause even the calmest people to feel "stressed". She is doing a long-distance masters course while working full-time. She absolutely needs to get this masters degree to move up in her career, so the pressure is obviously on. In addition, her Grandfather passed away recently, which only compounds the issue. However, just to top it all off; as a result of childhood leukaemia, she is also going through the combination of early menopause (and everything that brings) as well as the realisation that she will never have children. This throws a hormonal combo in with a feeling of having "failed as a woman".
Now I've done everything I possibly can to help. I've been making endless cups of tea for her, I've made sure that she has enough to eat, I've tried being supportive and encouraging with her. In regards to the "failed as a woman" part, we've already talked about this at length and I'm 100% cool with the situation, but obviously this is something that transcends that.
I'm running out of ideas here! Does anyone else have any experience of anything like this? What can I do in addition to what I'm doing now to help her and be an awesome husband? | Wife, who isn't too good at handling stress, is under a lot of pressure. I'm looking for ways to help ease the load for her and calm her down. |
t3_4fie3h | relationships | My [24F] boyfriend [27M] hasn't told me he loves me yet.. Help! | So I have been dating my 27M boyfriend for approximately 9 months. We clicked right away, spent all our time together, and, basically, unintentionally (he slept over and, in the least creepy way possible, never left) moved in together right away - we, intentionally, got a new apartment together and signed a lease together about 4 months in. When I met him, I was in the process of messily ending a 2.5 year relationship. We made it though a lot of tough times. In month two, there were two instances when I thought (this may just be me rationalizing to make myself feel better) he said "I love you" - once when he was leaving in the morning and I assumed it was an accident and didn't respond and another time where he said (while looking at a happy photo of us) "I love you .... in that picture". I have not told him I love him. About 7 months in, we were at dinner with friends and our friend said to me (about him) "well [BF] loves you ..." to which he said "True". Yet he has not told me he loves me in clear words to my face. I do love him and I want to tell him but I am obviously really worried he will not respond positively. We both have had previous long term relationships (not in a derogatory way but mine was much healthier and more stable than his) where we lived with the person and, obviously, told them we loved them. Am I being overdramatic and should just tell him I love him or should I wait and see what happens? He is very good to me and says other very positive things. He told me within the first two weeks that he is "obsessed with me" (in a funny manner) and tells me how much he cherishes me. I'm not sure if I missed his cues way back at the beginning or if I am just being hopeful. | My [24F] boyfriend [27M] has alluded to the fact that he loves me but hasn't clearly said it to my face after 9 months of dating |
t3_31fg46 | tifu | TIFU by asking my best friend's mom if she wanted to take a bong hit. | This happened last night, and I am still cringing over how stupid I was to have done this.
I'm a college freshman, but my best friend is a high school senior, so he still lives with his parents. He told me that his parents would be away for a few hours that night to get dinner with their friends.
So I come over, his parents are still there, getting ready to leave, blah blah blah. They leave about an hour later and my buddy and I go outside next to the fire pit and we're getting really stoney. I'm pretty sure we had a conversation of how cool it'd be if everyone had a weed delivery service where a bag would fall out of the sky and onto your lap at a specific time every day.
Anyway, by now it's about 10 or 11 at night and the nasty ass mosquitos decided that they wanted to us alive, so we had relocated outside the sliding doors of the house leading to their pool and sat down on some chairs. We completely forgot about his parents. We see the lights go on in the kitchen and my friend and I are about ready to shit ourselves. My heart is racing and I keep looking around for a way to cover things up and hide the bong, but it was too late. His mother is fucking approaching us with a smirk on her face and a look of disappointment. Keep in mind, I can't hide a fucking 15'' bong, so I couldn't just conceal it. She glares at my friend and says, "are you smoking weed?" and in an attempt to save the day, my red stoney eyes opened wide as I gestured towards the bong and say, "Yes, would you like a hit?". She didn't answer and just walked away into her room. My buddy tried talking to her later that night, but she was not in the mood. I'll update this when he tells me about the aftermath.
The next morning, we go into the kitchen to get breakfast and his mom walks in and doesn't even look at me and barley said anything to my friend. My friend can no longer have people over for a long time and needless to say, his mom is pretty pissed. | best friend's parents are not home one night, we get super stoned, relocate closer to the house, parents come home, mother goes up to us, I offer her a bong rip. |
t3_2z9bh2 | loseit | Trying to lose the freshman '15' that turned into 20 lbs after going on birth control. I would not mind some tips and advice. | Some back story: I'm no stranger to weight loss, after a bad break up and a lot of life stress I went from 135 lbs down to 106 in 4 months. This was mostly due to having a borderline improvised lifestyle. Could not afford to eat out or junk food. I had to ration food so it could last until the next pay day.
However, now that I have a decent job and extra income with my OSAP, I've gained a fair chunk of my weight back. I am scared of weighing what I used to because it made me unhappy. So I am wondering about how to adjust to having this new lifestyle while keeping the weight off.
Also, on another topic, since I've been on the pill, I've felt like I've gained an extra 5 lbs. How did some of you women on here manage to keep that extra weight off? | was poor and it helped me lose weight, now I am not as poor and have gained some back due to being able to eat a bit more again. |
t3_300xhe | relationships | Me [27 M] with GFs in general due to odd work schedule | I work on an unconventional schedule, where I'm on for two weeks, and off for two weeks. When I'm on, I stay on the work site and rarely have time to leave except for a short trip into town every now and then. When I'm off, I'm home and rarely have more than a few e-mails to attend to each day.
In the past and currently this has caused some issues for me relationship wise. I play the role of extrovert reasonably well, but in truth I recharge my batteries with alone time. This, along with long days of work, leaves me feeling like texts and phone calls are often times more work than a joy. With this in mind, if I try to push it too hard I just end up doing more harm than good. I can be too easily frustrated and I'm not fully attentive. Now I do have my good days where I have it in me, and I'm up front about all of this from the get go, but that doesn't mean its enough for a lot of people, or that they understand it.
I guess what I'm wondering is, is this a me thing, or is it just a being a human being thing? Am I not cut out for a serious relationship while I work this job? | With a busy work schedule I find it hard to keep in touch as much as significant others would want, and don't know if I've got the problem or just need a very specific type of person or what. |
t3_175nhh | relationships | I[21] get overly jealous way too easy with my gf[23] | Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. She's amazing and I love her. She knows I get jealous but she doesn't know exactly how jealous... I'll get jealous when she'll go out with friends. Even if I'm with a friend(s). I get jealous and upset. I know that I shouldn't so I try my best to not seem upset to her because I'm worried she'll take it the wrong way. And tonight she's going out with 3 of her friends (who all have boyfriends) and another guy. The guy is not gay. And I hate it. I get jealous and worried too easily. What can I do to not get so jealous? | I get jealous too easily when my girlfriend goes out with friends even if I'm with friends. What can I do to stop this? |
t3_2ovmge | relationships | My new girlfriend of 4 months [27F] wants me [29M] to simulate rape in the bedroom. | Dated for a month before we first had sex. I enjoyed our dates and every was great and I could feel that I was starting to have feelings for her.
We have now been dating for 4 months and 3 days ago we were having an after sex discussion. Is there anything we arent doing that you want to do etc. She seemed embaressed, and admitted there was something and did want to tell me, with a little pushing she told me that she enjoys play rape.
Shocked I kind of agreed. I was kind of in a place where I would have probably said yes to anything. The longer I have thought about it the more concerned I've been getting. 4 months isnt that long and although I have had no red flags until now I'm not sure what I should do.
I'm in the UK. Does anyone know anything about this? How can I protect myself? | My new gf wants me to play rape her, and I am hesitant. Need advice on protecting myself and whether this is something I can do. |
t3_2dih6l | relationships | Me [19M] having issues getting reliable friends, and wanting to feel human connection at university | I've had trouble with maintaining relationships with people throughout my life. Originally it was because I was hiding stuff from people (first my mom's alcoholism, then my parents divorce, then her passing) and then for a while I lived on the assumption that other people didn't care what I had to say. As a result, I listened a lot but talked very little.
I've been notorious for being "popular" in that everyone knows my name, and I know a lot of people, but very few people know me and there are very few people I feel I can rely on. During my first year at university I made two really big attempts to get close to people. With both groups, I'd hang out with repeatedly and they would forget to invite me to do stuff. (That everyone else in the group also did). I've realized I must be (to a degree) unintentionally wallflowering myself and as a result being forgotten and not feeling connected to others.
I'm going into my second year at university and I'd really like to build deeper connections with people around me. I was hoping for suggestions as to how to feel connected with the people around you and how to deepen friendships. If not that, anything to point me in the right direction. | I feel disconnected with the people around me at school, and I'd like help figuring out ways to feel more connected. |
t3_38aof5 | relationships | While putting away laundry, I [28f] found my husband's late mother's ring [29m] hidden from me. | I'm 28, he's 29, together 9 years.
Just after we got engaged, his father told me "I need to give you [husband's mother's] engagement ring! You don't have to wear it, since you have your own, but I still want you to have it."
I was VERY honored and said "I would definitely wear it with my own ring." A few months went by and nothing happened so I assumed his father couldn't bear to part with it. A-OK. I wasn't going to push.
Well, this week he's on a business trip. So I was doing laundry in his absence and went to shove stuff in his underwear drawer. I felt towards the back a hard object.
I pulled out a black sock that had a ring box in it. Inside was what I can only assume is his mother's ring.
So his dad DID give it to him. This had to have been almost 2 years ago. Why would he hide it? Why wouldn't he give it to me?
I know it's his late mom's ring so there's probably a lot of feelings there. But I've lost a parent too so I'm not blind to the idea. In fact, I gave him my late father's watch.
So why wouldn't he want me to have it? I love jewelry, he knows I'd wear it. Is it that he doesn't feel I'm worthy of his mom's ring, or is he planning to give it to me at another time?
For a couple that doesn't hide much this feels weird and uncomfortable to me. And where do I go from here? Pretend I never found it, or bring it up? | Normally very open husband hid the fact that his dad gave him his late mother's engagement ring. Why is he hiding it from me? And what should I do? |
t3_165ve2 | relationships | Ex[20M] knocked me[21F] up while we were drunk and doesn't seem concerned--I'm terrified. | I am still friends with my ex of about 3 months whom I was with for 2 years. While at his house with some friends recently, we both got blackout drunk and ended up sleeping together. We got emergency contraception just to be safe, and we haven't seen each other since. A month later and I find out the EC failed. I tell him and he freaks out, says he wants to talk and that he'll be home from his new girlfriend's(whom he's been dating since a month after we broke up) own or force him to have some part in a decision? Also wondering if I should say anything to his current GF about his cheating and this new development. | Ex knocked me up, refuses to grow up and have a discussion, leaving me with no idea what to do next and completely overwhelmed and alone. |
t3_1srdcx | relationships | I [20/f] am wanting to convince my fiancee [21/m] to hold the wedding off for three years. | We met in college last year, and he is ridiculously sweet. However, I had to grow up to be able to fit into a relationship with him, because I told him I 'couldn't do long distance' at first over summer breaks. I later learned I was completely wrong about that, but it did make me very aware of how much I needed to grow in order to feel like I was accomplishing a healthy relationship.
We've been incredibly steady since our first break, and in November he proposed to me. I said yes, because I am ridiculously happy and sure I want to spend my life with him. But, lately, he's been talking about getting married within the year, which we do not have money for.
Don't get me wrong, I love this guy. He's sweet, funny, and he understands that I'm battling to let go of my fractured childhood. He's very supportive of me wanting to work in a dangerous field, and all around, he's an amazing guy. But he's also very immature sometimes, and I feel like he doesn't know how to handle money.
I really want to give us time to grow up together before we jump into this. I mostly want to finish college and find a job before we get hitched, but I know this will upset him. I just feel like we're not ready to get married anytime soon. He's still really flaky about some things, and I need to finish college before I settle down.
What in the world do I do? | Fiancee wants to get married next year, I want us to graduate college and mature as a couple first. How do I explain this to him without upsetting/hurting his feelings? |
t3_2ew5cu | legaladvice | [Update] first misdemeanor (is this worth it?) | Link to original:
I live in Chapel Hill NC 27515
I met with student legal today, and they told me that I should apply for a 90-96 which is a first offender's plea... but that means I'll have to pay a $300 fine, and take court sanctioned classes, and be on random drug tests for 6 months to a year. Afterwards it can be expunged from my record.
This seems like a major hassle and even more complicated than simply pleading guilty. Is this 90-96 a better deal than if I simply spoke to a judge, payed the fine and waited two years?
I self-incriminated, and I'm pretty much boned either way, so which would be a better course of action: pleading guilty to my first smoke of marijuana that wasn't mine, or applying for this crazy first offender's list?
I honestly do not see the benefit of this first offender's program. Will expungement be easier? because from what I was told, expungement still seems like a crazy long process anyway, so why would I want to spend extra money and more time in classes about my "problem" for a dumb mistake I made with my friends? | Chapel Hill first offender's program seems really ridiculous and not at all helpful. Hopefully one of you can shed some light on this issue. |
t3_2bi4jy | relationships | GF [21 F] telling/venting to friends about me [22 M]. Am I just too sensitive? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and we're attached to each other completely. We're in a great relationship with the odd disagreement here and there but no major arguments.
There has been something she does that bothers me though. She and I will discuss things that are bothering her. I opened up to her about my insecurities about leaving home just yet. I've been dealing with alot of stuff (mainly future focus issues) so naturally, I open up to her about it all. After talking with her about all of those issues and some plans I had for the future (wanting to pay equally for a home with her), I found out that she's told a few friends what we discussed.
I'm cool with her talking to friends about me but the way I found out was not very good. Basically, she told me "katy's boyfriend bob thought it was odd that you wanted to pay equally for a house" or "ashley thought this whole thing with your parents was weird and that you need to move out pronto". I'm just left sitting there thinking why do these people whom I've never met know any of this. It's nothing major like our sex life (I hope) but I felt embarrassed and under the microscope. No matter how rocky things with us have gotten, I've kept our discussions between us and only left a positive image of her on everyone in my life.
Me being the big wuss I am, just glazed over it instead of confronting her and now I feel like it's too late to bring it up. Am I being too sensitive? Maybe I'm overreacting to this. It's normal to talk to friends about some of your problems so this shouldn't be that bad. She's an amazing person. Very caring and I love her completely. I just feel a bit embarrassed and don't know how to face her friends now. | Girlfriend talks about me and some of my issues in detail to friends. I might be overreacting a bit. Am I? |
t3_4uyor8 | relationships | Me 20M with the girl I really like 18F, seeing her for a few weeks | I believe I need to preface this with a bit of history. I really like this girl. Which is odd for me to be this attached. Also I have kind of an anxiety problem. I have a huge fear of being manipulated, lied to/ mislead, or ignored. Its a bit irrational.
We work for the same company different jobs and just for the summer. We work crazy hours.
This girl is kind of perfect very driven. Puts work first, and so do I but I also make time for people and stuff.
My big issue is It's great when we are together I have no question that she really likes me. When she texts me I can't read her, she comes off as being uninterested. She often doesn't text me back. She flakes when we have tentative plans.
This has driven me to double texting a ton. Try too hard to hang out. Giving me so much anxiety. It stresses me out a lot. I feel like I need to see her to reinforce the fact that she does in fact like me. But it takes so much effort to see her Im afraid I'm coming on too strong.
The other night she said she's never felt this close to a guy.
At the rate this is going I'm full of anxiety. I've tried convincing myself to care less, but obviously that doesn't work.
What can I do to fix this situation? | I really like a girl. She's great but bad at communicating. I don't know where I stand giving me anxiety.: Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_34g9l1 | relationships | How can I [29/F] help my fiance [30/m] quit smoking once and for all? | When I started dating my fiance he was a smoker. He hid it from me because he knew I would never date a smoker (something I said from date number one). I had cancer at 25, my father has numerous smoker-related health issues - it's just a no-go in my books. He was just smoking "casually"... a few ciggies here or there, mostly because the in the industry he works nearly all the execs smoke and they're always dragging each other out to have that "serious business discussion" in a cloud of smoke. Old school.
By the time I fell in love with him, he had quit and came clean to me about the smoking. He hasn't smoked for a year, we got engaged, he's generally been super healthy. He is absolutely the most amazing person I've ever met - except for his one vice. He had a cigarette today, and I knew as soon as he walked through the door. He owned up to it, and wants to quit. I want to help him all I can, but I don't know how. Smoking is a deal breaker for me, and we're supposed to be getting married in two months.
Thoughts? | Didn't know he was a smoker when we started dating. He quit for a year. Had a cigarette today. Wants to quit but keeps relapsing. |
t3_2as5at | relationships | Me [23M] with my friend [23F] have started cuddling and grinding at night. Should I put a stop to it? | I've been spending quite a few evenings with a close friend I've known since high school over the last few months. Mostly watching shows like game of thrones and such.
Over the last two weeks we've found ourselves
cuddling -> Licking -> Grinding on each other. We were always more friends/family than anything else.
A little confused I broached the subject with her and she's told me plainly she just wants to cuddle and not be in a relationship right now, that's not really my style, but she keeps teasing me into bed (combo of lonelyness and she's beautiful.) The odd thing is that we never kiss each on the lips. Not having that is a real turn off for me.
After the talk I felt a little used. Like I'm a place holder. To avoid resenting her I think it might be best to tell I dont want to cuddle with her. I just not into this open/undefined relationship thing. | Should I tell a close friend I don't want to cuddle with her because I'm only interested in a committed relationship? |
t3_1h9fuv | relationships | How do I handle this? (29F and 29M) | Very simply, how do you handle it when a guy, who was once your best friend, you've had feelings for, that has done things for you in the past that indicates he probably has them for you, too, gives you THE look when you're out at a big social gathering? The catch is that he had started dating someone else (26F) a few months before and foolishly move for her (someone who isn't a very good person either), though she couldn't make it to the event. He knows how I feel about him, and he admitted to me in the past that he knew it would work between us but said he "didn't know." (I honestly think he was afraid because I am the polar opposite of the bad girls he usually goes after and fails with). How am I supposed to take that? | I (29F) have feelings for a guy (29M) that gave me THE look at a social event, but he's in a relationship (with a crappy girl). It's confused and frustrated me. |
t3_458zx1 | relationships | A girl [18F] I [18M] love is sleeping over and wants to do stuff even though she doesn't feel the same way. | Hey Everyone,
I'll jump right to the deal. So I'm in love with this girl that just broke up with her boyfriend like a week ago. I told her how I felt about her and she was like "I can't deal with this right now but as it stands now, you're just a friend to me." So that sucked. She did say she had feelings for me 2 years ago and that might be relevant.
So
She's coming over thursday next week, and staying over. And we've had some conversations that basically incinuated that we both know something is going to happen. I told her that IF something happens, I'll see next morning wheter I feel good about it or not, so that further pain can be eliminated. Thing is, I already know I'm going to tell her that I feel good and comforted even though I probably don't, because I've somehow convinced myself that if I keep fooling around with her and talking to her this much (non-stop texting all day) that she might start to fall for me too. But it might be the biggest mistake ever. I need some thoughts on this, all are welcome. | About to fool around with the girl I'm in love with and just broke up with her boyfriend. Even though she doesn't feel the same way. |
t3_25jqoc | relationships | Should I [23F] be bothered that my boyfriend [25M] regularly snap chats his ex[24F?] | When we first got together, we ended up not starting an actual relationship because he was still getting over her. They dated for 5 years. During the time we weren't together he had a fling with some other girl but it ended fairly quickly, basically a non-issue. We got together again in March and things have been great. I don't really want to stir the pot, but I'm kind of bothered by it. I know she was a big part of his life, but it makes me a bit insecure because of my own issues.
Do I bring it up because it bothers me? Should I just let it go? | my boyfriend still snaps with his ex (she's listed as a "best friend" under the app) and it kinda bothers me. |
t3_ip583 | AskReddit | Are male cashiers worse than female cashiers? | I've noticed every time I've gone to Target and had a male cashier, they are horrible. Hitting on me super creepily, bagging things in weird ways (frozen food with bread or clothes, milk in the same bag as cleaning products/chemicals), slow, or just plain don't understand how to do several transactions on different cards...
Now I've worked at Target in the past and I can recall every cart guy or food guy who would cashier when it would get busy, and they would also always not be as efficient as the female ones. This isn't just being biased or anything, at Target, we get scored based on our speed and accuracy and female cashiers would always have better scores.
Has anyone else noticed this or have an opinion on it? It's causing quite the debate on my FB wall right now and I was wondering if Reddit had some input. | I've noticed guy cashiers (mainly at Target) are worse than female ones...anyone else agree? Disagree? |
t3_3qf9ku | relationships | I [16 M] have limited time left at school, but have a crush on a girl I don't know [<16] | I'm a grade 12 student (nearly 17 now), and including this week I have only two weeks left of school. There is a girl I have noticed recently who seems no older than a grade 10-ish level- I'm really not sure, as I don't know anything about her. The only times I see her is after school. The entrance to our school has a few bus stops, and most students congregate there after school's over.
I'm completely inexperienced in anything to do with girls/social stuff, so I have no idea what to do in the limited time I have left. The situation''s pretty unforgiving, too- she doesn't catch the same bus as me, the bus that she does catch comes very early, and she is usually speaking with her friend in the duration of her wait (which makes it difficult to try to talk to her without seeming intrusive/weird).
I have spoken this over with some friends and the general consensus is that the situation is pretty bad, and there are always other fish. I would appreciate hearing your thoughts and opinions on the matter. Maybe I'm grasping at straws, so please be as honest as you can be. | I have under 2 weeks of school till I graduate, and am unsure what to do about my girl/crush issues in that time. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.