id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_m3azx | BreakUps | Accidentally posted in /relationships. Got dumped, trying to love but it's tough. Please help.... | I'm 18 now, and I started going on dates with someone named "A". We're not necessarily in a relationship but rather easing into one. We met online and it's kicked off from there. He's a great guy.
But then poses the problem: My ex. He and I dated for ten months and for those ten months, it was pretty weird. At first I wasn't really putting my whole heart into it. But once that was past, I loved him so damn much. I loved and tolerated the shit out of him. Nearing the end of our relationship, he met a girl named "M". She and my ex started hanging out a lot (should have foreshadowed something, eh?) and then there was the breakup. Three days later, my ex started dating M.
Why am I coming to you guys now? because I don't know how to deal with this. This is the first time I've felt this way for anyone and it terrifies me to possibly do it again. I do like A and vice versa, but I'll keep having angry streaks where I'll think about my ex and want to punch his face in. Please tell me stories and what have you. I would like advice on how to overcome this... | I like someone but I'm not completely over my ex. I don't like my ex anymore but I'm always angry when I think about him. I want to pursue a better relationship but I can't let go of the past. |
t3_2xoy6d | relationships | I [25 M] am upset because my wife [25 F] of 5 years said she would have a threesome with another guy. Am I overreacting? | I was hanging out with my wife last night and she asked how many women I could handle at once, so I jokingly said 150. We laugh, etc. and then she asks if I would have a threesome with another guy.. I said HELL no. She asks why, because she would and implies that it's the same thing as having a threesome with another girl.
I told her I don't agree, because if it were with another woman, it would be for BOTH our pleasure since she would be doing things with the woman too whereas sex with another man would be completely for her since I am not open to that kind of thing. (She has fooled around with women in the past, not as far as 'sex' per se, but I know she was open to the idea) She even said before that she didnt see hooking up with a girl the same way as hooking up with a guy so I don't know what's changed.
We can both be a bit jealous at times, and she knows how strongly against cheating I am. She's always been loyal and devoted so it was a shock to hear that she would entertain the idea of fucking another guy.. and IN MY PRESENCE! I feel like there is a lack of respect there.
I would've hoped that the thought of something like that would put her off and feel demeaning. So I am disappointed and afraid of being disgusted with her from now on. I told her basically everything I've said here, but she isn't very responsive. She just says "sorry for saying that" or something to that effect and changes the subject. I can't fault her for natural human desires or whatever but I also can't help but feel like shit about it. I wish she would feel like I am enough.
Is this a typical female fantasy that most women have and just don't share? I know she says that saying something, and doing are two different things, but I'm still hurt she feels that way (as stupid as that may sound). I'm hoping someone will say something to change my perspective on it or make me realize something that will make me feel better about the situation. | Wife said she would have a threesome with another man, I feel insecure about it and don't want that thought to ruin the way I look at her. |
t3_1y31y3 | self | Just Some Blabbering On. | So tomorrow is my cakeday, and I'm stuck doing schoolwork the entire day. Today and tomorrow, that is. I'll be getting Cthulhu Fluxx as my gift (which I'm pretty hype for) but I'm barely gonna see my friends and girlfriend because of classes and workload. It's not even like I'm in some really hard college taking AP classes. I have to sit through this hour and a half special on mermaids because genius me decided to write a myth paper on them. I have to prepare to lead a less-than-willing class in a discussion about memory and dreams according to Jung. I have to prepare for two Bio Lab tests as well as the Bio Lab we're actually doing. I have to prepare for my Cognitive Psych exam, too. Then I have to prepare for a Bio lecture exam and do Anthropology homework (still haven't even looked at it). On top of this, I think I screwed my sleep schedule this weekend and I'm worried I won't make it to class tomorrow or the next day, every morning I wake up imagining myself disappearing forever when I die instead of going to meet my maker, I can't stop fixating on it the whole day. The worst part is that despite me actually keeping on top of assignments and trying to make sure I spend an adequate amount of time with my friends, I feel like I have more time but less of it to myself. I feel more and more like I'm rushing just to end up nowhere. It's like I've hit that part of life where it's out of your control and you just go with it until you die. | My first-world problems with slight depression interlaced. Just my musings, no need for sympathy or anything. Just looking for something to browse for maybe 10 minutes tomorrow that will make my day. |
t3_dcvb4 | AskReddit | So I had a conversation with a conservative... what keeps you 'good'? | So I had a conversation with a conservative the other day, well he had a conversation with me, because I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. It was more of a rant on his part really, ha. He's an Irish-American who immigrated here in the '70s and now he hates immigrants. But that was just one of the talking points in his tirade.
But what struck me most about the whole rant was this one thing that seemed, somehow to be an integral part of the foundation of his conservative beliefs:
"The one thing that keeps you on the straight and narrow is 'Fear of Consequence' and that's what's wrong. We've lost that in America because no one follows through, there's no consequence to fear."
But after much pondering I disagree, I think what keeps me on the straight and narrow is trying to be a person who is loved and respected and treats others how they would want to be treated. I'm an atheist so I don't fear hell or some eternal banishment or damnation after I die, my moral compass is weighted by compassion.
So reddit, is this the difference between conservatives and "bleeding heart" liberals? What keeps you on the straight and narrow? | Fear of Consequence, is that what keeps you in line? Or is it the age-old adage of 'treat others how you would want to treated'? Or something else entirely? |
t3_nb4er | AskReddit | Ex-GF propositioning I pay a fine we incurred together in exchange for five sex acts... | So this was a while back. We weren't dating at the time, but just trying to be friendly and have some fun, camp out in our old stomping grounds, etc. We get to the site late and the campground is packed. I bushwhack down a steep hill and find a path with a clearly established fire pit close by. We spend the night drinking vodka, playing guitar, and keeping the fire going for hours. Eventually, we are naked and she goes down on me. It was great, but we were both too spent for anything more (more so her moral objections to sex outside of a relationship... yea the girl is kinda weird like that).
In the morning we are awoken by a park ranger who is kind enough to leave for a few minutes while we put on our clothes. He then says we should collect our stuff and meet him at the trail head. He asked for ID and I didn't have mine on me--she did. So the fine was in her name, she lost it (typical) got a summons to plead guilty or a warrant would be issued and now we have the result of the ticket: $50 in fines and $75 court fee. Total: $125
We have been talking about how to pay it back and she just texted me that I should pay the whole thing because "I got a blowjob and she got a fine". I said I would pay my half. She immediately responds: "How about you pay it all for 4 blowjobs and some sex?" Needless to say this girl is crazy, and I know the "don't stick your dick in crazy" idea, but I'm so beyond trying to get back together I think it could just be fun. | Ex wants to trade 4 BJ's and a fuck session for $125 in fines. Is there some moral issue I need to consider here? Also, I may just be an idiot for entertaining the idea... fire away! |
t3_13m0y1 | relationships | I (20) like a girl (20) from my class that is in an arranged marriage that she may not want! | Here's a little more information, she had been flirting with me nonstop since the beginning of the semester (10 weeks ago) by putting her hands all over me, winking, and she gave me her number and said we should go out, she always texts me and we always joke around. The flirting has gotten progressively more obvious as the weeks pass. During a conversation I asked if she had a bf a week ago and she said yes but he's not in the country (he's from her home country). Then she went on to tell me that it is actually an arranged marriage her parents set up when she was little. She does not seem happy nor sad about this though. Right away I felt something was off about this as she had told me about an ex boyfriend she has only a few towns over in a conversation 2 weeks before telling me about this arranged wedding.... How does she have an ex boyfriend if she has been in an arranged marriage for a long time? Do you think she is lying? Do you think I should go for it? Any thoughts on what you think of her or what I should do at all would be appreciated. | Girl I like is in an arranged marriage, she flirts with me and seems to like me, what should I do? |
t3_qrt77 | AskReddit | Now we've all heard shit about crazy things people do right after you break up with them.. but what about years down the road? | I just recently got messaged on facebook by someone who had apparently just broken up with ex of mine from about 3 years ago at the beginning of this year. They were having trouble putting some facts together and were trying to just figure out what did happen with their relationship as well as mine. It was a pretty dramatic ending, so I figured why not give this person a shot and talk to them.
Come to find out that my ex, with whom I was engaged, is telling people that I left her at the alter of our wedding for the person that I am dating now (I didn't even know this person while we were dating). She is also still telling people that I am harassing her and stalking her as well as pretending to see me on the road and freaking out and having anxiety over the issue. This past November she went to the place she gets her (previously our) dog groomed in the company of her then girlfriend and told them that I had tried to pick the dog up and to never let someone with my name come near the dog again.
She also is still telling people that I was abusive and use to cheat on her all the time, when in fact it was the other way around.
Anyone else ever experience something like this insanity? | My ex is still telling people that I stalk her 3 years later and recently had me banned from a dog groomers I haven't visited in years. |
t3_ubsgj | AskReddit | I need some help, or advice. idk | I know theres subreddits for relationships and stuff but I dont know their exact name. But heres my problem.. Im 16 and a boy btw. I have been talking to my "girlfriend" since May 21st of last year. "Girlfriend" is in quotes because she cant do long distance. She lives in Victoria BC. I live in NY. This is clearly a problem. If i had graduated from school and had a full time job this would also be no problem, because I could easily (well not easily, its clearly expensive) but could travel out there to see her. Ive tried getting jobs MULTIPLE times and have been shot down. My dad said he would help me in any way possible but I have to help myself first, which ive been trying but just cant. I want to get out there on/before August 18th for her birthday.. But i just dont know what to do. Long distance is something few of you can probably understand. You cant just say "move on and find somebody closer" its not like that. There is only one option. We have planned our lives out for after highschool til we're old. I know you may think things like dumb kid or get over it but the same thing i said easrlier applies. I have been told i am a perfect boyfriend by all of my exes but they have all fucked me over one way or another. This is the only one who hasent. Well she has, but its only because of distance. I feel cheated in life by finding somebody so perfect for me yet, they live so far away. Reddit, what do i do? | Girlfriend lives 3k+ miles away, Im a 16 y/o boy whos just in love and wants to meet his girlfriend. |
t3_1vv8ue | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [19 F] officially together 3 months but I would say almost 7 or 8 months realistically. When she drinks she almost always blacks out and doesn't remember anything... is this a precursor to trouble? | Hey everyone, so I met this girl 2 years ago and ever since then we had been on and off hooking up (at first she was in highschool, but then after graduation she came to my university).
We never really even considered dating for a very long time, and usually just called each other up late at night to get some action, and then during days we would barely talk.
Well about 7 ish months ago we started hanging out a lot more often and pretty soon started being exclusive with each other. Then 3 months ago we decided to be officially going out like 100 percent into this relationship.
Everything is going great, I am totally in love with this girl and she says she loves me, but there is an issue.
Most of the times we drink, which is usually any combination of thursday, friday, saturday, she gets super drunk. Most of the time I am also pretty wasted so I don't notice it but almost every morning she asks me what we did and tells me she has no recollection of the night before. It doesn't bother me because I am always around her when we drink but there are some instances where she will get really drunk and have no clue what is going on and i have to like guide her home.
What scares me is that she doesn't really plan on getting that drunk, she just doesn't understand her tolerance that great, and I am afraid one day she will be drinking when I am not around (as I am 21 and she is 19 sometimes i go out with friends and she will hangout with her other friends at a house party somewhere) and she will be so drunk that a guy will take advantage of her when she has no clue what is going on.
I trust her entirely, but naturally i am an anxious and worry more than i should.
So what I'm asking is, has anyone else had this same problem? | The girl i love does not know how to watch how much she drinks, and while she has not made any mistakes yet, I am afraid one day when I am not around she will be too drunk to understand what she is doing. |
t3_2y3fmm | relationships | How should I view my first relationship? | I'm 17 and in my first real relationship. We've been dating about half a year. I'm having trouble figuring out how to view this relationship. On one hand, people have told me that if you don't think your relationship is going to last forever, it won't last long at all. On the other hand, people tell me your first relationship never works out.
You see the conflict? How should I really be viewing this? Obviously I love her and in my head I think this is the girl I'll marry but I (think that I) know that's just naive teenage love shit. Any advice? | They say relationships don't work if you don't believe in them, then tell me not to believe my first relationship will work. What do I do? |
t3_2omh1t | relationship_advice | [17M] I'm having some serious issues with my freshman [15F] friend. | I am 17, but only for about another month. My friend turned 15 a few weeks ago. We've been friends all throughout this first semester. I think she has a crush on me. No issue right? But then we started texting and I made the stupid ass choice to flirt with her and lead her on. I think she's cute, but the age difference, almost 3 years, makes me a little uncomfortable. I'Ve never been in a relationship before and I feel like I would be taking advantage of her. She is somewhat mature, but I'm a senior with a semester left and she's a freshman. I want to be in a happy, stable relationship. Physicality is secondary. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to be that guy that everyone thinks is taking advantage of an innocent girl. | Freshman friend has a crush on me and I encouraged it. I acted on impulse and regret not thinking about it. The 3 year age difference and the stigma that comes with it is really getting me. |
t3_2bqh8h | relationships | [16M] me wants to surprise gf [17F] when she comes back from vacation with a gift. | Throwaway account just because I don't want her to find out.
So, due to the holiday planning of our families, me and my gf haven't seen eachother for pretty much a month. Of course, we've kept contact via WhatsApp and text, but it's not the same as physical contact, and I want to surprise her when she comes back.
We have been in a relation for about 4 and a half month now, and so far we have (French?) kissed and fingered (?).
The problem is that I suck at coming up with a fun surprise that's not overly cliché like a box of chocolates or a ticket to the movies, I want it to be something between us.
Excuse me for any grammar mistakes, not an English native speaker ;). | Gf and I didn't see eachother for a month, I want to get her something when she comes back from her holiday. |
t3_27u7em | relationships | I [25F] know that my coworker and friend [29F] is going to get fired and I don't know how to tell her | The situation is basically in the title. I've been working at my company for about 2 years now and really enjoy it and thrive there. My coworker, let's call her Piper (yes I am watching Orange is the New Black), is probably going to be fired sometime this summer. She has been with my company for something like five years, but has jumped around different departments (her choice) so her title is technically entry level.
Another coworker in our group left for a different job, so Piper went to talk to my boss about promotion potential to take his place. My boss gave her a list of things to work on and Piper reacted by basically having a big crying breakdown in my boss's office. Piper is good at the data crunching stuff but doesn't really have a point of view or intellectual curiosity, which is vital for getting to the next level. The past month has basically been a tryout and she's failing.
My boss and I have a great relationship and tells me a lot (probably too much!). She let me know that Piper does not have a future in her position in the company. When the time comes (probably at the end of the summer) she will give her plenty of lead time. Another person who is being let go is getting two months to find a new job so it's probably something like that.
I feel like Piper might have an inkling that she is at the end of the line here but I don't know for sure. I feel weird just coming out and saying it and I don't know if it would cause issue with my boss. When Piper has mentioned seeing interesting jobs online I've encouraged her to apply and have helped her with a cover letter she wrote for one. I feel like if I don't say anything and Piper gets blindsided I'll have betrayed my friend.
Any suggestions on how to handle this? | My coworker, who has become my friend, is probably going to get fired in the near future and I don't know how to handle it. |
t3_3tm728 | relationships | Me [22 M] with the girl I'm seeing [21 F] 2 months, she falsely tells people I'm abusive | So, I've been seeing this girl for a couple of months and while she likes me, and I'm not mean to her (the worst I'll do is tease her), she says all her friends hate me. People who I haven't met. I got curious to see if she was talking badly about me and I peeked at her FB messages, and she's told many people in large group chats that I'm apparently controlling and abusive, which I'm not.
I'm worried that if I just leave her now she will say much worse things, but I want to get away. I don't know how to prove that I'm not abusive. | Girl I'm seeing keeps calling me abusive to her friends, I've never laid a hand on her in anger. How do I escape this dangerous territory? I'm in the UK right now |
t3_4bjkqj | relationships | Choosing between sex and love: Redditors who married in spite of long-term sexual frustration- do you regret it? | A month ago I made the big decision. Moved out of our shared home, and started living alone. And I've got truthfully no idea if I've made the best or worst decision of my life.
I've never loved someone as much as G, and never thought I would find someone who loves, understands and supports me right back. At our age, it felt like kind of a miracle to both of us. We are both old enough to know how rare this kind compatibility is.
But sex has always- always - been a struggle between us, from the start. She's fairly sexually conservative, and likes sex between us to be lovely, comforting and not involve too much teasing or anticipation. I'm mildly kinky, have a high sex drive, and like sex to be energetic, silly, and involving lots of teasing and dirty talk.
Over two years we've tried a few ways around this. She adapting to me, first. Then me adapting to her. Both worked 10%. Then after a while we both gave up on that- and our sex life just started fading for about a year. I started slipping out of bed late at night to look at porn in the other room to relieve the frustration, and waiting for her to leave for work in the morning so I could jerk off. And feeling depressed and frustrated about it.
A couple of times we nearly broke up over our sex life. After the last time, she
agreed to try couples counselling.
But after three sessions she gave me an ultimatum. Commit properly to her, and start trying for kids, or leave. I would love to start a family, but I decided to leave because of the sex.
That was a month ago and it's been agony. Live feels so empty. But so does the idea of a lifetime of sexual frustration. I can't see myself finding another person I'm as well suited to as G for a long, long time.
So redditors who started a family with someone you loved but wasn't sexually compatible with - how does it feel? Regrets? Did it last?
And should I try and work out if I've made a mistake? | I (36M) recently broke up with my girlfriend/soulmate (37F) of 2 years because our sex life. Having big second thoughts. |
t3_fv17p | AskReddit | reddit, I'm paranoid, I think I just caught my first driving offence | Throwaway (for obvious reasons).
This happened in the United Kingdom.
Was driving back from work yesterday, caught a nice "train" with a big lexus in the front, then a black octavia vrs in the middle and me third. They were doing 80mph, so I just stayed with them, then the lexus slowed down (70->65), the octavia did too. Then he slowed down to 60, the octavia did too, I did for a while then got bored.
I got bored, pulled into the fast lane and put my foot down a little bit (was on a downhill), wanted to get back up to 80, a few seconds later I'm doing 100 (still not used to the acceleration of the new car), the octavia pulls out behind me and flashes me. (looked like an undercover police car, blue lights behind the radiator grill, etc). So I slow down, go into the far left lane and notice that he's gone (far infront). I proceeded on my way (slowly :) ) and got home.
That's the end of the story.
Did I just get really lucky and get off with a "warning", or is it likely that they had an on-board camer, took a pic and I should expect something in the mail?
Very paranoid now, as this would be my first offence ever and my insurance is high enough as it is.
Thoughts? | Got flashed by what looked like an undercover police car while speeding, didn't get stopped, worried about getting something in the mail. |
t3_1p08lw | relationships | Me [26M] with my gf [26F] 7 months, trust issues | After I told her how disappointed I was that my dad cheated on my mom. She wanted to come clean and confessed to me that she once cheated on her ex-bf while dating him for three years. Basically an ex-ex called her up one night for movies where one thing led to another... She was having a temporary (summer-time) long distance relationship and I guess she got "tempted". She felt guilty and told him afterwards - he apparently forgave her and the relationship ended for other reasons.
I really appreciated her telling me. It showed she's very honest and open with me. But it's what she said afterwards that threw up a red flag. She basically told me it's not her fault she ended up having sex with him - but it was her fault for going to the movies and putting herself in that situation in the first place. Essentially saying that once she is in the right place/time, it's significantly more difficult to say no.
Perhaps I am over-thinking it. But that statement made me very insecure, as she communicated to me that she really has no self-control if placed in the right situation.
At the same time, since the beginning of our relationship, she has been very jealous. At first I took her jealousy as a sign that she cared and left it at that... But I am beginning to think she is projecting her own past onto me. I have always been faithful with everyone I dated, and have nothing to hide. But she already once accused me of cheating because I went to the beach by myself, claiming "who goes to the beach alone".
Her behavior and her past is making me lose a lot of trust. As with anything long-term, I am sure one day there will be a "right place/right time" and I'm worried she will end up cheating. | Girlfriend opened up to me about her past infidelities, but they backed-fired and now I can't seem to trust her. |
t3_1byhno | relationship_advice | [33/m] My fiance & domestic partner [29/f] and I need counseling, but she refuses to go. | We have been together for 7 years. Engaged 6 months in, moved in together about a year into the relationship. Had set a date, but both of us lost our jobs. over 5 years later, and we're finally almost back on our feet.
We have issues with communication. I am not a typical guy, in that I enjoy talking about my feelings, and never realized that her being a "great listener" was just her not discussing her own emotions.
Now we have moved away from both of our external support systems (friends and family) in order to obtain jobs. Now I feel like the slightest thing I can say or do sets her off, and it has been wearing on me more and more.
It's actually gotten to the point where physical intimacy is difficult for me, because I feel like I've lost my attraction to her. She lashes out at me for many things - for instance, she doesn't cook - she's scared of it. So when I cook things for her, and she doesn't eat it or thinks it's disgusting, it actually hurts my feelings, and makes me feel like I need to just order food for her.
It's even gotten to the point where I go to fix dinner for us, and she goes "I don't want that" - to which I reply "Ok, what do you what?"... and then I get the "whatever" and she's angry with me.
It's begun to affect me at work... I'm having a hard time concentrating, as the last two large arguments we've had, she's said she was leaving. I've not stopped her, but she either suddenly changes her mind, or she's in a great mood all of a sudden.
I really don't know what to do as she refuses to go to counseling with me... she even gets all exasperated and exclaims "FINE I'LL GO" after I tell her why I feel it would be beneficial to our relationship. I don't even feel like I'm badgering her.
Please help? I feel like I'm a wreck, constantly crying... and I don't know where to turn. | We've been together 7 years, lots of recent explosions of anger and threats to leave from her, she won't go to see a couples counselor with me. |
t3_2z4imx | relationships | I'm [26 M] am starting to see a pattern in my long term relationships [22 F/23 F], is this common? | My ex [23/F] of 1.25 years and I recently broke up and I'm trying to learn from it. I'm comparing it to a 6 yr relationship I had. It seems like in both situations my partners felt like I was neglectful and dishonest, making them suspicious of any of my female friends. And from my perspective, the relationship started with them being controlling and insecure. One example is getting jealous over a female friend: both of my exes felt like I gave too much attention to a (different) female friend, who in both situations I was never physical with and talked to like a friend, occasionally going to for a female perspective about relationship problems.
As the relationship went along it seems like I got more attached to the idea of us being together but they grew indifferent. And now at the end of things, it seems like there is nothing I can do to help salvage the relationship and everything is my fault. | I'm noticing that my relationships begin with me being apprehensive and my partner being fully invested and as the relationship progresses, the role seem to switch. Why is this? |
t3_4gdv0t | relationships | I [25M] am worried about a 'friend' [27M] of my [25F] gf of 7 years staying with us | I've been with my gf for 7 years now, except for a short time when she was travelling abroad. We were still talking and everything during that period, but she decided we should take a break while she travelled in Europe for a few months. While I wasn't delighted about that, I went along with it.
Anyway, a guy she was friendly with abroad is going to be in the country for a couple of weeks, and my gf has asked if he could stay. She's never explicitly said what happened between them, but I have a good idea and have overheard some conversations between her and friends where she was talking about him glowingly and really seemed to enjoy her time with him, saying things like, "It was the most fun I've ever had" and other, more crude things.
I said it was fine for him to stay at first, but knowing their history and how she speaks about him, it's kind of worrying me a bit. Am I right to be concerned, or am I overreacting? | My gf's 'friend' from when she was abroad is staying with us for a while, and I'm not sure if I should be worried or not. |
t3_4dhwkw | relationships | My [23 M] roommate [22?M] is a compulsive liar, how do I deal with this? | This kid lies about everything possible, I don't understand it. After like 2 weeks of knowing him he broke down crying in front of my other roommate, part of his complaints were that his IQ is too high and he doesn't like his perception of the world or some shit (i tried to tune it out).
- I have stomach issues so in conversation I was talking about a procedure my doctor wanted to do, an endoscopy. He tries to tell me that they don't exist and the only way to look into my stomach is through a colonoscopy. He's a political science major so he has no knowledge of any of this, just likes to talk out of his ass.
- He blamed my vegetarian roommate for pots and pans in the sink that were covered in meat grease and fat...
- He invited friends over that ate an entire box of ice cream sandwiches and refuses to accept responsibility for him or his friends. No food has ever gone missing in the apartment before he moved in or started having people over.
Just a few examples off the top of my head. How do I handle situations like the last two moving forward? How do I handle my relationship with a liar of a roommate? (I can forgive a lot of things, lying isn't one of them) Why does he lie about the most trivial things? I don't get any of it. So I would appreciate any advice | Roommate lies about everything possible, whenever he is confronted he just makes the conversation go in a circle. What do i do now? |
t3_4xo6uq | relationships | I [18M] broke up with my girlfriend [18F] recently because we're going to separate countries for college but now I'm wondering if it was the right decision | I've been dating this girl seriously for 6 months (only hooking up before for 3), but I decided to break it off with her because I am going to university in the States while she is going to be in Europe for uni. Although she wanted to keep dating long-distance, she understood why the distance would be a problem. The thing is, I had so much trouble making that decision and still am because I feel like our relationship was so perfect. I've had casual relationships before, but never a serious one like this. Although I love her like nothing else, I broke up with her for two main reasons: 1) Since this was my first serious relationship, I was worried it was just "puppy love" no matter how seriously I felt about her and it was just going to fizzle out 2) The distance would be too much (we dated over summer and it was so difficult even though we were only 2 hours away from each other by plane), and eventually our great relationship would fizzle out. I've always heard that long-distance relationships aren't worth it, especially at such a young age and just entering college, but I am seriously debating whether or not I made the right choice. Any advice would be much appreciated. | Broke up with girlfriend of 6 months recently because we were going to separate countries for university, don't know if I made the right choice. |
t3_4m9waj | relationships | Is it pointless for me 18(M) to pursue being more friendly and flirty to my 18(F) crush? | I recently graduated high school, and just before school ended I hit it off with one of my classmates who I never really got to know. Before school ended we would text every so often.
Fast forward to now, graduated about 3 weeks ago and haven't talked to her again. Problem is the feels hit me and I don't know whether or not to just let it go or pursue romance with this girl. We're both going off to college in different places at the end of the summer, so time is running out.
Should I just let it go or should I try to make something out of this? | I just graduated high school and I have a crush on a girl who is moving away from town at the end of the summer. Should I pursue or just say fuck it and wait for college chicks? |
t3_23r2l1 | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [20M] 16 months, wants to open and be closer so he told me about his lies | A little background: My boyfriend and I both suffer from depression and have recently ended seeing our (separate) therapists. He has difficulty with affection and trust, I have a great need for both. I have recently (4-5 months) started to feel at ease and fully trusted him and was becoming more accepting of our means of communicating affection to one another.
We have discussed in the past how he has trouble opening up and letting people in. In his attempts to become closer to me, he exposed his lies. When we first met, he had told me how he doesn't like smoking weed and he looked down on it. Before we met I would occasionally smoke and stopped once we started dating. He just told me he has been smoking throughout our relationship and thinks he is borderline alcoholic (once he has one drink he will continue until he is drunk). He smokes twice a month (so he says) and has also lied about watching porn. He would always deny watching it or smoking and now I do not know what else he has lied about. Smoking weed doesn't really bother me, its the lies that have me feeling betrayed.
I love him very much and i feel like forgetting about all of this, but then i think about how much it hurts to even think about it and how now I do not believe anything he says..
I don't know what to do... | My boyfriend lied to me throughout our relationship about smoking and watching porn; told me so that we could get closer as a couple. I feel badly hurt and very confused. |
t3_234ms9 | relationships | I [20F] need help with my roommate [19F] | My husband [21] is in the army and we moved across country with my best friend at the beginning of the year. She's been my friend since middle school and I love her, but she has never had a job. The deal was that she would find one once we got here because she is scared of driving and she figured she could find one within walking distance now that we are living in a city instead of a rural area. She's also very shy. I know it's hard to find a job, especially if you don't have any experience, so I have given her a lot of time.
It's been 4 months and she says she has been applying, but she has never even been called in for an interview. She never cleans anything around the house, except for the dishes probably twice the whole time we've been here, and I had to rewash them because they were still dirty.
Her parents are flying her back home to visit in a couple months and if she doesn't have a job by then I want her to just stay there. I feel like 6 months is plenty of time to find a job, am I being fair? Should I give her more time? I should also mention that she doesn't get along with her dad and if I don't let her live with us she will have to move back in with her parents, which I feel bad about. How do I approach her about this without hurting her feelings? | My roommate hasn't found a job in the four months we've lived here, I want her to move out if she doesn't find one in two more months, is that fair? |
t3_11qeac | AskReddit | What kinds of things have you done that made you a better person when you felt like you've gone downhill? | I should clarify...
Lately, I haven't been behaving the way I would like to behave around the house and my family. What I mean by this is, before this year, I would always listen to my parents as soon as they told me to do something. Also, I have been arguing just to argue. I don't know if it's because I'm a bad person or because I don't respect anyone around me anymore. I just got into an argument (5 minutes ago) about leaving my work out things (mats, weights, water bottle, etc.) in our garage where my dad usually parks (Sidenote: he hasn't been parking there lately) and we were arguing for a good half hour starting with him coming in and yelling at me to pick up my things, just like every time he comes home it seems. For this half hour, we managed to discuss how I have no idea what I'm talking about ever anymore, I'm following my brother's commands (he just moved back in after five years), I haven't ever stood up for my little sister (false), and that I am currently burning bridges with the people that love me most. So, I have realized that I have became something that I don't like and I want to go back to the old me, the more respectful me.
Again, what are some things that you have done to get yourself out of a miserable point in your life and gotten you back to where you respect yourself again? | I haven't been respecting anyone around me and I want to change back to the old me, and I want to know how. |
t3_3usrjs | Parenting | Daughter (6) has just experienced her first lot of bitchiness from girls that she considers friends. Parents of reddit, any suggestions as to how I can help her? | My daughter is just about to turn 7 and has been best friends with the girl across the road for about three years. They used to have sleep overs and were pretty much inseparable. All of the kids on the block tend to hang out together and ride scooters, and just generally be a roaming pack of young girls.
As of last week, the neighbour girl out of the blue decided my daughter was no longer cool and has since started intentionally leaving her out of conversations and the group dynamic. The other girls seem to be joining in when in a group and ostracising my daughter, but they do play with her peacefully when her (i guess now ex) best friend is not around.
I've tried encouraging my daughter to ask this girl if there is an issue, to which this girl has become snarky and claims she has no reason, and even if she did it was none of her beeswax. I tried speaking to this girls parents (as we are friendly) but when she asked by her parents, she denies picking on my daughter at all, nor singling her out.
My daughter now comes inside in tears every night shortly after this neighbour child gets home. She's clearly cottoned onto the fact she needs to hide this behaviour from adults, and is encouraging the other girls in the neighbourhood to leave my little girl out. The whole thing reeks of 'teenage popular girl bitchiness' but they're 6 and 7 dangit! Does it start this young? How can I help her navigate this horrible, but common experience? What have you guys done, when faced with similar situations? | My daughter is on the receiving end of young girl bitchiness, how do I make sure this doesn't effect her self esteem? |
t3_4xhknk | relationships | Thoughts on deleting ex (24/F) off Facebook? | I (24/M) was with a girl for 6 months. We met traveling earlier this year. She wanted to pursue me when we got home. I agreed. She came to visit, then broke up with me cause she didn't even think I liked her. She then came back to my town we got back together then a week later she ended it again. We got back together 5 days later, then 1 1/2 months it ended again cause she didn't see a future with me.
10 days later she is contacting me again saying she misses me.
We were supposed to meet up but then she never got back to me. In that 2 weeks I decided I may have to go back to Australia to finish my degree (Im a dual citizen) I called her out on it and turns out she has depression and has had it severely before. I left for Australia because I thought it was the right thing to do and get my degree. Before I left I saw her in person and she already seemed over me. After being in Aus for 2 weeks I messaged her saying its tough down here being back at school and Im always thinking about her. She said the same back, but then the next day she sent a giant message saying good luck with everything, Im not wanting to get back together, you're special to me Etc... I haven't responded nor do I think I will ever message her again.
Im really heartbroken right now but breaking up 3 times in 6 months is not normal. And she has depression and Im almost certain she is already sleeping with other people. Obviously after a break up you can have wishful thoughts but I don't know this time.
What do you people think? I know people can look in the past and come back to ex lovers but I don't want wishful thoughts. I think this relationship is completely done.... Its really the thought of her with others even though she said she's not dating anyone and doesn't want to. | Met traveling, broke up 3 times in 6 months, she has depression, I moved down to Aus, contacted her, she says she's not wanting to get back together. Delete or just ignore? |
t3_1vfyn6 | relationships | Am I (m21) deluded or is my girlfriend (18) being unfair? | We have been going out for three years, known each other for six. All has been pretty good and we both went to unis that happened to be close together.
Her course description was for the final year to be abroad in Canada, we live in the UK hence my name!
I was fine with that and encourages her to go. Its a really good opportunity.
I decided to book a holiday with my friends to backpack around Europe for a month . all the guys dropped out so it is finalized to be me and two girls.
My girlfriend has since dropped out of the Canada drip for no reason and insists I should drop my trip.
She was going with a bunch of guys and a few girls to live in Canada. Her reasoning for me to drop it is the two girls.
I have no past of breaking trust but she does with secrets about work friends ect that don't really influence my decision but I was still fine with her going. | girlfriend was going to Canada for a year and I encourage it,booked a month trip. Age has dropped out her trip and insists I drop mine. |
t3_1h14n1 | relationships | I [21M] don't know if my crush [22F] likes me or not. | So I've known this girl for over 3 years now in my college, but I've really started knowing her about 4 weeks ago when we had a few events together.
We seem to enjoy each other's company a lot during those events and hangouts. We like to make fun of each other and call each other names. We can insult each other without any hard feelings and laugh about it afterwards.
A few days ago I've started Skyping with her, and she blushes and makes cute faces when talking, and I'm pretty sure I made the impression that I like her. I told my guy friend who was close to her about my feelings for her, and he being a total bro brought us together for dinner and stuff.
The thing is, she keeps giving me mixed signs. Sometimes it looks like she likes me, for example: her phone wallpaper is a photo I gave to her, she bites her drinking straw when I bite mine (I know she doesn't bite drinking straws), I find her glancing at me from time to time, we laugh at stupid things, and she suggested Skyping the last time we met. And I was the only guy whose hands she'd touch playfully.
But after that, she seems distant. She replies my texts very late and short ones at that, and doesn't seem to bother finding me online (she recently went back to her hometown yesterday because it's the end of our semester). Oh, and she's single, and everyone close to her knows she's not seeing anyone.
I'm confused right now. Does she like me or not? | Girl I like shows signs she likes me too, but sometimes she appears distant and uncaring. I'm really confused. |
t3_2shg4g | pettyrevenge | brother doesn't do shit around the house | I had a petty story about how I perceived my little brother as intentionally not helping around the house so I hid his keys. I really didn't want this story to take off.
This morning, I yelled at him. I let everything build up then went off on him. He yelled back at me and we had a 3 minute back and forth and then I went to class. I thought about it all day and when we got home, we talked it out. He analyzed my personality. He told me that I keep score as to what anybody's done. He said that he's nervous around me because he knows I'm always analyzing what he's doing right or wrong and I might get angry at any minute without notice. He tries really hard around me to do the best he can to have me not mad at me. He also told me that he doesn't keep track about this type of shit at all so that's why it's so hard for him to know what's going on.
When we talked more, the things that he's worried about turned out to be a lot more serious than I thought. He eats healthy, works out, and doesn't drink alcohol or smoke, but he has heart problems that are getting worse. I feel like complete shit about the things I've done and thought about him. He hasn't told anybody about this because he doesn't want anybody to feel sorry for him. I need to be a better older brother.
This started as petty revenge, but man. My brother is a better person than I am. I need to work on myself. I need to make sure that if his health get worse, he'll be able to tell me and I'll be able to support him in anyway I can.
The only stories I'll post in the future will deal with people that actually deserve petty revenge. | If you upvoted, change it to a downvote. I was wrong to take petty revenge on my family member |
t3_2xhq3a | relationships | My [24 M] Mom [58 F] isn't narcissistic but what is this? | She's been this way since I can remember, it's just as I'm getting older its starting to drive me up the wall more and more.
Everything has to be a secret with her. Example, I bought a new truck last year, not a penny of her money involved in it but I was told to hide it from relatives, namely my aunt and grandmother. Something came up where someone asked me to get a new couch for them, so I did and my mother about freaked out saying how she doesn't wanna hear them talk about me having it.
Another example, any family travel or anything was always to be kept under complete wraps. Never showing off vacation pictures or anything. The idea of a weekend trip came up and she said "oh good I don't wanna have to take a personal day, my boss would probably think he's paying me too much if I can go travel."
Another semi related quirk, she bought herself a new car and hid it for as long as possible like she wanted me to until eventually it was impossible, as that obviously happens. Well now, she won't even drive it more than on a 20 mile trip. She seriously rents a car to drive 2 hours away with the excuse of "oh I just don't want the window to get chipped or get ot scratched or anything" which is reasonabe, but not to this extent. I told her she shouldve just kept her old car for around town. | Mom has these strange quirks that have always been around, now driving me up the wall. Not narcissist but what? |
t3_2fz3sc | personalfinance | I Think A Gas Station Attempted To Rip Me Off | Yesterday my front tire blew out at college and I had to grab a cab to work (incidently on my first day). I got to my workplace and the cab driver said they didn't take debit cards. Shoot. So I asked him to take me to the nearest gas station. This place was a bit run down, but I ran in, grabbed a stick of gum and went to the cash register to get cash back. I didn't specifically say that, but when my card out she said "Put that back and get more stuff. I can't do it unless its over 5 dollars!"
Uhm. Alright. I walked around a bit and had the bright idea (finally) to say it was for cash back. She smiled (after taking a bit to understand me) and said that it would be a $1.75 charge on top of the item for that transaction. Sweet. My poor a** can do that. I paid and went to work.
Now today while going over my bank statement online I noticed something weird.. A "Foreign Transaction Fee" of two dollars DOUBLE CHARGED which came out to $4.00. I'm in a college town. Did this Indian gas station try to rip me off? | Two "Foreign Transaction Fees" on my spending history instead of the $1.75 fee I was told I would have for cash back at a gas station. What am I missing here? |
t3_2xol66 | relationships | I [28M] broke up with my Ex [25F] 18 month ago and am now thinking it might have been a mistake. | Well, this is not easy to write because I feel incredibly stupid. Over a year ago I broke up with my ex of 1 year because I felt I wasn't in love with her anymore and it wasn't going to work long time. I had second thought every now and then, but now that I've dated other girls I think I realize that I didn't appreciate what we had..
I met her a couple of times at university and I thought about her every now and then, but now close to graduating with my masters I think about her a lot more often. I also think that her introducing me to her parents back then was kinda a thing for me because it scared me in some subconsciously immature way.
She took it very hard, which made me take it very hard and every time I was tempted to contact her I thought about how devastated she was when I broke up and that it would be wrong to stir it back up. But now I think I actually want her back. I think I want to give it a real second chance. I think I changed how I think about the future and what is important.. I am thinking of writing her how she is doing and if she wants to grab a cup of coffee sometimes.. I don't know why I am even writing this here I should leave her alone I guess and seek out something completely new, but after dating so much I am not sure I even can fall in love and maybe I should settle for someone I like and am comfortable with instead of searching for something surreal. | Contacting my ex 18 month after I broke up with her, should I do it? I think I want her back. |
t3_4pzcdy | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [19 F] of 6 months, She would consider breaking up if I shave my head | So I've been with Anne for 6 months and she's the first girl I've ever loved. We started dating this past year at the college we both go to. We have argued a lot over the past 6 months since we started dating. It's gotten to a point where we are both exhausted from the fighting, and even though we both love each other dearly, we are starting to question if we are really good for each other.
2 days ago, I asked Anne if she would break up with me if I shaved my head and looked ugly, and she didn't really answer the question. This was a shock to me because I thought our relationship was so much stronger than that. I got mad, then she got mad, and we stopped communicating. Later, she texted me that she was sorry and I could shave my head. I replied that I was glad I had her permission (sarcastically, but over text). Then she said she was mad at me, and after I said "for what?", she didn't reply. We fight a lot over small stupid things like this, and its really starting to wear down on me. | GF and I fight a lot. Most recent fight is small, but they are adding up. What do i do? |
t3_sxoa9 | AskReddit | Athiesm/Agnostic parent question | So I am a mom of a ten year old child and she is very religious. I am agnostic/athiest and I have never taught her anything about the bible or religion. I blame her knowledge of the bible and Christianity on my family and a daycare she used to attend when she was about 6 and 7 years old.
Anyways, I do things to humor her like pray with her before meals and celebrate Easter and Christmas. One day she asked me what being an Atheist was and I explained it in a way that would be acceptable for a child. She immediately said after I was done that she was glad that we weren't athiests because God would for sure send an athiest to hell.
When she said that, I was floored. I obviously have my own beliefs on the heaven/hell situation, but I felt like I was betraying her in a horrible way and I felt really bad. I have never lied to her about Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy, so telling her this made me feel awful.
She also doesn't understand why we don't go to church with her aunts, uncles, and cousins. I won't go to church and she has never asked about it until this last Friday. I really don't know how to tell her why I won't go. I have no problem letting her go with my brothers and sisters, but she wants to know why her mom won't go. I have no idea how to tell her without her thinking that her mom is going to spend eternity in hell because I won't believe in Mr. make believe in the clouds.
Should I suck it up and go and continue to lie? Do I crush her and tell her the truth? I was raised very Southern Baptist and my own family barely knows about my athiesm-agnostic ways. I simply don't bring it up and pretend I prefer sleeping in on Sundays and that is why I don't show up to church, so telling my own 10 year old child the truth has become a problem. A big enough problem that I felt the need to come onto the Internet and ask complete strangers for their opinions.
Thanks for reading. :) | I'm an Athiest with a religious child and feel like I am lying to her. Don't know what to do so I don't crush her emotionally. |
t3_2ms777 | relationships | Me [22/F] with my boyfriend [24M] almost a year, He is such a clumsy oaf and it's annoying me | I don't know if it's that big of an issue but it's starting to grate on me and I don't know how to address it.
He's a great guy. He's absolutely lovely. But there's just one thing about him. He has no sense of balance or spatial awareness. He bumps into things a lot, drops and breaks things, spills milk as well. Surprisingly he hasn't been in a car accident yet.
In the past two weeks:
- He hit his head on the overhead of the oven and started to bleed. He got blood on dinner.
- Trips over his own feet
- He dropped a $200 vase when helping me clean my parents house.
- Cut his finger on a mandolin slicer and needed stitches.
- Carrying a bag of eggs and smashed them. I don't even know how.
- We were play wrestling and dislocated my shoulder. He offered to pop it back in but before I could say no he did. This is like the only good thing he's done here.
There's more but I just feel like I'm being a nag. I've just never met anyone who was this uncoordinated. He means well and always apologizes. He replaced said vase as well. I've gotten really upset about it all. Can't blame me for that.
I'm just worried down the line that this will be an issue in our marriage. If he's not this careful now, how is he gonna be around kids? I just want to help him in someway. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered leaving the relationship because of this. | Boyfriend is clumsy and breaks things. How do I help him or how do I get used to it? At my wits end about this. |
t3_3p2zps | tifu | TIFU by thinking I was a magician. | Cliche this didn't happen today, but rather in 4th grade.
In 4th grade, I had a magic phase. I bought magic books, magic sets, magic movies, whatever. I was so bought on magicians and magic. I also wanted to be a magician, and learn all of the cool tricks. 4th grade me thought a great way to boost my career was to have a magic show in front of my entire class.
I asked my teacher if I could perform a magic show, and she said not today, but sometime next week. Cool. I was so ready. I didn't even practice, I thought I had this down.
My plan was to perform 2 tricks. My first trick will be I will tear up a napkin into pieces and magically make it the pieces come together in. [Explanation here]
My second trick was I would make a styrofoam cup magically levitate. You know, where you make a hole and put your thumb in it and make it look like it was levitating.
The day came. I had maybe 15 minutes to do this, because school was almost out. I prepared my materials, the teacher gathered the students around in a group, and I started. Expect I choked. BAD. I was shaking miserably as I showed the audience my napkin. I already had the second napkin hidden in my palm. I started to make a huge mess with the napkin and a kid pointed out "You can see the other napkin" for the whole class to see. My trick was ruined. Everyone knew. I managed to finish the failed "trick". So imagine a 10 year old kid, shaking, in front of the entire class, doing a failed magic trick. I was torn. I couldn't do the next trick. I said that was it and the teacher forced the kids to do faked claps. I cried when I got home. | 4th grade me thought I was a good magician, failed miserably doing a magic show in front of the class, and cried miserably at home. |
t3_2zgms6 | relationships | My [21F] gf wants me [22M] to pay for half of her phone bill. | A bit of a story about us, we have been dating for more than a year and was planning to move in together in a couple of months. Met her during a night out and we just hit it off from there. Everything has been good, we really care for each other and have always been responsible when it comes to money, but never really cared for it or keeping count. Just good things that defines a good relationship, in my opinion.
So, she just told me that i should pay half for the expenses for the phone bill she recieved that was for 750 dollars. At first I called her sometimes for a quick chat, but later on she told me she could call me from her home phone, since it would be a lot cheaper. So the calls could go for a couple of hours every week. As the responsible adult I thought she was I my understanding was that she had looked up the costs for these calls. As the phone bill came she asked me to pay half of the cost, since I was the one she called. I feel like it's a unreasonable request from her but, in a way I feel a bit responsible, but mostly sorry for her. I feel like I would look up these kinds of things if I were her. And never ask her for do such a thing for me, so it feels really bad the whole situation, as I thought she was more responsible and more caring than this. Any thoughts on the whole situation would be appreciated. | gf of more than a year wants me to cover half of her phone bill since I was the one she called the most. |
t3_1378tz | AskReddit | Struggling with indecisiveness regarding life decisions... Looking to just talk and maybe get some insight from my fellow redditors. (Explanation inside.) | I've always been a good student and I really enjoy going to school. I spent many years at a great community college because I couldn't decide what I wanted to major in or what I wanted to do after college. After playing around with a few different majors and classes, I fell into a field that I enjoy. However, I think I'm afraid of taking the next big step into a four-year college. I go through phases where some times I can't wait to get into a career but other times I ask myself if I'm ready? Is this really going to make me happy? What if it's too competitive and I just can't cut it? What if I'm never really good at anything other than learning out of a textbook? Or what if it sounds like a great career but there's something about it that I just hate?
I feel like I'm *always* changing my mind. Every few days or weeks. Some times months. Not just about college and a career, though. I'm that way with relationships, jobs, and even my location.
But how am I ever going to be successful in life if I can't even stick to a decision that I've made or a feeling that I've felt? Reddit, has anyone made it through feeling like this and are you happy? Or is anyone currently going through the same thing and maybe has something to say about the matter? | What do you do when you change your mind about what you want from life every day, week, month, etc? |
t3_4ajlkb | relationships | I [21F] am potentially going to be staying at my boyfriend's [25M] family's house for the better part of a year. Not sure how I feel about that, what to do? | So I live in the US and have been in a long-distance relationship with my Korean bf for about a year. We met online and have met up irl once, a few months ago. We decided that it would be best to close the distance as soon as possible, which will be in a few months' time. We've decided that it would be best if I could get a working holiday visa for Korea, and spend close to a year there while he finishes his degree. Then, we plan on moving back to the US so that I can get started on my graduate degree.
While in Korea, he wants us to live at his parents' house, which he is currently living in while he studies, until we move to the US. I have reservations about this, which I have made clear to him - I'm fine with spending a few weeks at his parents' house, but anything longer than that makes me nervous. To be clear, his parents are completely fine with me living with their family; even though we've never met in person, I think they've seen that I've been a positive influence on their son and appreciate me for that, and according to my bf, they're very hospitable people.
Regardless, I'm the type of person who feels guilty for inconveniencing or imposing upon anyone, even if in reality that might not even be the case. I would feel really uncomfortable staying with them for such a long period of time. My bf seems to think it won't be an issue, and perhaps it won't be, but I still think it would be a better idea to move into an apartment together after a few weeks. Sure, it would be more costly (which I think bothers him), but we're both adults who will be working, so that shouldn't be the deciding factor.
What do you think we should do? Also, when we are at his parents' house (for however long that might be), how can I contribute/repay them? They've already said that they don't want me to do anything, other than maybe buy milk when they're running out, small stuff like that. | Bf wants us to live with his parents when we're in Korea, I'm uncomfortable with that. What should we do? Also, how can I contribute/repay his family while I am living at their place? |
t3_3hqter | relationships | I [18 M] with my girlfriend [ 20F] of four months, it looks like she cheated on another, and I have concerns about cheating in general. | I met this girl while travelling. We hooked up the first night we were together, and were inseparable for the rest of our time together travelling. At first everything seemed amazing, but then I started to find things out about her relationship situation. After months of this, I finally believe that I have enough information to try and make a judgement, or at least ask for advice(which is why I am here).
Before we begin, I should mention that I am new to this whole relationship thing. I really don't know what to make of this. I will refer to her as J. All information presented is presented as I understand it.
Around 8 months before I met J whilst travelling, she had entered a relationship with a rather controlling individual. Two months before she and I met, she tried to end this relationship but her then-boyfriend did not allow her too. She was in a city with few friends and no family members, and the only place she thought she could stay was with him. She claims that for at least two months prior to our meeting she had had no sexual or emotional contact with her boyfriend, but was still sleeping in the same bed and living in the same house.
When I met J she was still in this sort of relationship with this other individual, and I was unaware of her situation.
Because we met while travelling, J and I maintained a long distance relationship. I managed to get out to see her one month ago, and this is when I found about her(still ongoing at the time) situation with this other guy. When I asked why she was doing what she was doing she claimed that she was just trying to "survive". After voicing my concerns about this situation, she "broke up" with the other guy. She has since moved away from the city and back to her parent's house. Upon being left, the other guy allegedly read her journal(which included information about me) and damaged some of her property. I returned home between the confrontation and her leaving the other guy.
I plan on returning to see her shortly, and she understands that rebuilding the trust I had for her will take a lot of effort.
[ | ] Met girl, she had a controlling boyfriend, slept with me while still technically in a relationship with another, not sure what to make of this. |
t3_1s4i34 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my the girl I'm dating [27 F] 2 weeks, has some hairy arms... | So I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks now and shes of middle eastern descent. Well whenever she takes off her jacket or whatever she is wearing, she bears a good amount of black arm hair and I don't think its an attractive feature. Its kinda manly in my eyes Its an easy fix too, shave it, wax it, laser it, whatever. This isn't obviously a deal breaker or huge concern for me but she would be even more attracive to me... so is there a nice way of going about to her to get rid of it? We are only dating as of now and knowing her for such a short term. So it would kind of be awkward or weird to say something now to her, but she has a good possibility down the road to become more. | Girl I'm dating has a unattractive amount of arm hair and want to know how to ask her to get rid of it. |
t3_1pnahx | offmychest | I fucking hate Halloween. | Everyone is constantly telling what I downer I am because I don't like Halloween. I don't allow my son to trick-or-treat because it's unsafe and because I feel like it teaches him that the best way to get the things he wants is to beg strangers for them. I don't pass out candy, and I don't go to Halloween parties. I feel like this shouldn't be such an issue and that I am completely within my rights not to celebrate the holiday if I so choose. My fiancé says I'm forcing my son to "miss out" on a part of his childhood, but I have never once in my life celebrated this holiday or went trick-or-treating and I don't feel like I've missed anything. I really just want everyone to back off about the decisions I make for me and my son. I will always do what I think is best for me and my child and it annoys me to no end that people feel they should have some form of input on the way I raise my son and live my life. | I don't celebrate Halloween an I don't allow my son to either. It's my choice so everyone needs to back off with their ideas and opinions. |
t3_24pt7e | relationships | I 23f am scared that I am falling in love with my lover 31m 4 months. | I started casually dating my lover for the last few months. We used to have a serious relationship but broke up. I didn't want to be with him again, because I didn't feel like I am ready to be in a relationship. I also didn't want to become serious with him again, because of the past. I didn't want to start something only to have it end.
Another reason that I didn't want to get serious with him is because we have some major differences. I am a religious girl of a certain faith, and he is from an entirely different faith. Sometimes he does things that are considered sins in my religion. This is a problem for me. I don't want to love someone if he does things that I don't agree with or can not do with him. I feel like I may end up engaging in the same behaviors just because I am with him.
I don't know what to do about this. I know you can not force someone to change, especially when it comes to something like religion. But my religion is very important to me, and I can't compromise on it.
That is why I am so unsure about pursuing a deeper relationship with him. In my mind once you become serious with someone, then there is no going back. That is why I want to be very careful about the person I am dating.
And on one hand, he is very caring, considerate of me. He also tries to make me smile, and make me feel good. I do the same for him. I like him as a person, I think he would be a good partner.
However, his lifestyle is an issue for me. I don't like some of the thing that he does. He drink a lot of alcohol. Also, he went to a festival where everything they ate there is not allowed in my religion. I have brought this up to him, and he said he will try to be better. But I am not sure what he will do.
My question is what should I do? Should I follow my heart, and be with someone I am falling in love with? Or should I slow the relationship down and become less serious about him? | I 23f am falling in love with someone 31m, but our religious differences are conflicting my feelings for him!! What can I do? |
t3_y4iw5 | AskReddit | I hated high school. What's your most embarrassing high school story Reddit? | Rewind to freshman year of high school, where your first impression really counts. As a freshman I was stocky, but I wasn't fat. I just looked "muscley". But what people didn't know, is when it came to gym class, my "crack" sweat like a waterfall. My solution? Butt tampons. No I didn't actually stick a tampon up my ass (though that would of saved me in my case). What I did was before gym, I would wad up some toilet paper, and stick it between my "cheeks".
One month goes by and this butt tampon is a success, until we started the the hockey unit. I don't know why, but for some reason while running with the puck with this hot sophomore girl right behind me, my buttpon fell out. At first I thought, shit, maybe no one will notice. Until she stepped on it. At that point, all hell broke loose. Sweat squished out of it onto the gym floor and she SCREAMED, alerting everyone what just happened. To this day (though much more in-shape, and no butt sweat problem), I'm known as the kid who used buttpons in highschool. | butt sweat in gym, used a buttpon (toilet paper in crack), fell out, girl stepped on it, ass sweat squished out, was laughing stock for long time. |
t3_fv2xu | AskReddit | I'm 21, have no idea what I want to do and feel like I just threw away time and money with school. | Originally when I started school in the fall my initial plan was to become a history teacher, but after realizing that was no longer the path I wished to pursue and how horrible this school was (like the school being a joke, most of the teachers suck, the dean doesn't give a fuck about anyone as long as she has your money charging our campus 2x as much as the other, with no extra equipment unlike the other one) that thought was thrown out the window. This (2nd) semester I had signed up for business, but still not sure of that, as I never have had great math skills. In the past I had attended Votec school for CIS (the college lost my credits from this too, assholes), but decided that programming wasn't for me either since I do not have the attention span.
Another thing that I see a lot too is people with degrees that can't find jobs, at all.
I've thought about network administration, but don't know if that would end up like CIS. Another thing I have thought about id a mechanic, but same 'what if'.
I am also very tempted to move out to CO springs with my friend after the summer too as my car would be paid off. | Current (community) college is a joke, no idea what I want to do, school feels like a waste currently, wanna move to CO, am I just being a little bitch about life? |
t3_2st1xj | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend[20 M/F] of two years, are making plans but my parents are a problem. | My girlfriend and I are well in love, we started dating around my freshman year of college. Well, now is coming to my graduation date. I need to find a job for after college and I need to finalize where I want to live. I told her I want to stay down with her or the surrounding states. She then subtly brought up the big M word. I told her I thought about it in the future and wanted to marry her. But not now.
Now, my parents asked me recently "What are you plans for life". I told them I'd be staying near the uni, they were accepting of that. I pulled my dad aside and asked how long he knew mom before he contemplated marriage. He retorted approximately a year. Note, they were 23-24. I told him, after dating my girlfriend for two years I can see myself building a long term future with her. He said in a shocked tone "Like marriage? You high?". I sheepishly said yes.
Welp, things went south from there. My mother lost every shred of sanity in a flash. She claimed I have no grasp on graduate. How I am a fresh college grad, marriage should be the last thing on my mind. Lest with a girl I've been dating for two years. She consistently referred to it as puppy love.
This got me upset so I left. I feel like after dating a girl for two years I know she is the one I want. Am I wrong here? I just want clarity. | My girlfriend and I are ready to move own with and contemplate marriage, but my parents are very judgmental and frown upon marriage before the age of 30. |
t3_13iybv | AskReddit | Before I go to sleep I think about three things I am grateful for, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, Reddit what are some things you are grateful for? | I recently graduated last year and started in the real world and things were not going my way at work( struggling to learn many things as an analyst and unable to meet many deadlines). Ended up not getting a promotion after a year and became very negative and blamed my struggles on the company.
I watched this TED talk by Shawn Anchor - **" The Happy Secret to Better Work"** :
I found before I go to sleep I think of three things I am grateful for no matter how small and I am much more positive a few months later. After I started this, I ended up getting a bonus and doing very well at my job now. | Didn't get promoted, became negative & blamed the company. Next I started doing a daily three gratitudes and became much more positive, doing much better at my job and got a big bonus! |
t3_klsb6 | AskReddit | Working next-door to Homeopathic Clinic - How should I prank them? | I work in an area that used to be residential, but now is a bunch of businesses in renovated craftsman homes. Signage is definitely poor, so its kind of hard to find businesses in the area. I was walking my boss' dog for a break, and realized the building next door is actually a homeopathic clinic.
Now, I understand this might get some downvotes, but I really am not a fan of homeopathic medicine. I think that it is essentially a scam that encourages people not to take medicine that might actually help them. I don't want to get into a debate about homeopathic medicine. I know that doing any sort of pranks will probably make me burn in hell or whatever.
Unfortunately, there is a SHOCKING amount of police activity in the area. You actually have to drive under 25, and there is a cop within 3 blocks of you at any time, and they patrol the streets REGULARLY. So I need some pranks that aren't likely to point right back to me, or back to my company. (Company only has 3 people who work from the office 5 days a week and I'm one of them.) | I need some solid, untraceable pranks to do to building next door, which is a homeopathic clinic. |
t3_31fue5 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my BF [25 M] 7 years, how close is too close with a female friend? | My BF (John) and I have what I consider to be a really good relationship. We communicate well, have sex regularly and just have fun together. We've recently been talking about wedding rings.
Anyway, John meets this girl recently (22F?) through a retreat he went on and is really into her. Before this, he's had female friends but they were always my friends too. It's clear he has a connection with this girl and says he considers her a really good friend because he feels like she understands him and his sense of humor really well, even though they've only known each other for about three weeks (keep in mind, the getaway had a lot of team building exercises). From what I've gathered, however, he seems to feel more strongly about her than she does him. He initiates most text conversations and for about a week straight, asked her to hang out almost every day. She's usually too busy, but on the rare occasions he has hung out with her, he's honest about it as far as I know.
I feel very uncomfortable about this intense connection he seemingly has with her and his desire to see her so often, and I've told him this several times. I just feel like we're at impasse here, because what defines *too close* for a friend of the opposite gender? I don't want to, nor am I at liberty to, limit the amount he texts her or tries to hang out with her. In his eyes, he's trying to pursue a friendship with a girl that he feels like he gets along well with. In my eyes, I think it's a little inappropriate to be that thirsty about a member of the opposite sex. But I feel like there is no right answer here and I really don't want to be too controlling. Are limits fair to ask him to follow? If so, what would they even be? | BF loves a new girl he met, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable but we're at an impasse because he's not technically doing anything wrong. |
t3_44w3wq | relationship_advice | [25/m] Unsure about asking her [24/w] out on a date. | Hi everyone,
about one and a half months ago I met this woman through a group of friends at university and we ended up all alone having a serious conversation for about 3-4 hours late at night.
Since then we have been hanging out with our mutual friends at least once a week and I'm starting to develop feelings for her. She mentioned that she is single once when we were cooking together with two of our friends and seems to like me (she even invited me to her birthday party at her place), but I'm not sure if she is interested in more than friendship (I feel like she is sending mixed signals).
As one of the topics we discussed in our first conversation was what we value in interpersonal communication, and we agreed that most problems arise when there is missunderstanding due to a lack of clear communication, I have wanted to ask her out for about two weeks now. However, after that first conversation we never ended up in private and I'd rather not ask via text or phone.
I am unsure if this is just a coincidence or if she actively tries to avoid a private conversation in order to hint I should not ask. E.g. just last Saturday I asked her if she could pick me up on her way to university on Sunday and she promptly replied that she'd be happy to, but she picked up another friend on the way and we ended up with 3 people in the car.
I really value her as a person and the friendship we have, so on the one hand I don't want to push her off by asking her out, but on the other hand I'd really regret to miss out on the chance to date her because I didn't ask.
What should I do? | Getting mixed signals (possibly misinterpratations by me) from friend, should I ask her on a date? |
t3_16hdan | relationships | I (19f) don't know how to make time for him (20m) any more. | I have a lot of problems going on with myself, college and my family right now. Depression, anxiety issues, stress, lots of stuff building up. My doctor put me on antidepressants to try to help me deal with things but I'm still struggling.
Alongside all of this, I'm trying to find the time to see my boyfriend and have a long distance relationship. We were friends for about a year with a relationship starting about 4 months ago. He's been a bit distant lately and was always rubbish at initiating contact, so I have always had to do a lot of the work, which I haven't minded up until now. It's just becoming one more thing I'm failing at. He recently went back to uni so now I'll see him even more rarely.
I don't know what to do. To be honest, I wish things could go seamlessly back to how they were when we were just best friends. No commitment, no guilt, just enjoying each other's company when we had the time.
I just don't have the time or emotional energy to spare for him right now. I want to break up with him but I don't want to lose him from my life. I need space to focus on my problems. | don't have time or ability for a relationship but don't want him gone from my life, how do I handle it? |
t3_1yaky6 | relationships | Me 28M with acquaintance (29ish?M). He may be getting the wrong idea | Not sure who to talk to about this so I was hoping /r/relationships could help out.
I recently started playing in an intramural sports league after work. I've been meeting a lot of new people and its been a lot of fun. Recently I was talking to some guys about other leagues they play in and this one guy (lets call him Z) asks to trade contact info so we can play again in the future. He's a good player so I oblige.
We end up meeting again and playing on the same team. During our break we get to talking. Z is from another country and is here on a work visa until summer. He's a genuinely nice person and easy to talk to. He mentions how hard it has been for him coming to this country making friends, as the culture here isn't what he's used to. He mentions all the get together's hes had in country and shows me some pictures from home. I make some casual comments and he suggests I come over some time. I agree it would be cool to try out some of the stuff he says he can cook but never think anything would actually come of it.
So today I get a message asking if I want to come over for dinner tomorrow. I wouldn't mind going but there's one thing thing, Z is gay. I don't have any problems with this at all. I'm just not sure how to make it clear that I don't swing that way. I don't want to give the wrong impression that this is a date or something, so I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I decline? If not how do I make it clear this is just a meeting of two friends? | Straight guy gets asked by gay guy to come over for dinner. Have no reservations about going, just don't want to give the wrong impression. |
t3_1dqqgb | relationships | [20F] and [20M] have been friends for a long time | Hey r/relationships. I was hoping you could maybe give me some advice concerning one of my friends. I've know this guy for about 2 years now and I'm sort of at the point of needing to ask him what happened between us. When we first met we talked more or less everyday (more online but also in person) for about 8 months, exchanging over 50,000 messages all together. When winter hit last year however, something changed. I'm not really sure what happened but we started talking less and less until it was weekly gaps before speaking a word to each other. For about a year I really liked him, and was told by many of my friends that someone wouldn't invest that much time into conversation if they didn't like you more than a friend. However, despite this, I was never really sure how he felt and didn't want to risk ruining the great friendship we had. Now, a few months on, it's still in the back of my mind about what happened, and I'm still not really sure how he feels (we still talk occasionally online). If any of you could offer any advice about what I should do, if anything, I would really appreciate it. | Met a great guy, we exchanged over 50,000 messages in total. Came to winter and the conversation died off, but it is still on my mind about what happened, should I ask him? |
t3_4w1ldi | relationship_advice | Is it wrong of me (23/M) to ask my girlfriend (21/f) to not let others (her "friends") flirt with her? | So we've been together for a few months, and I was in bed the other day when her phone went off. She asked me to get it for her, and it was her friend saying "Hey gorgeous". Now, I asked her about it, and she told me thats just how he talks to her and that they're good friends. At this point my BS meter is going off the chain. I know he doesn't see her as a friend because of how he talked to her ( i may have done some slight snooping, I know shame on me) and it really bothers me. She didn't flirt back, but she wasn't exactly shutting it down either. I see this stuff as a sort of respect thing, and I don't let anyone flirt with me (I'm nice about it, I'm not a total jerk). I like keeping this stuff between me and my SO, it makes it more special in a way. We talked about it and she seemed to agree with me, but i don't know if it was okay for me to ask that of her. I'm just wondering what that looks like from both a woman's perspective and anyone else really. | My GF lets "friends" flirt with her and doesn't shut it down while I do out of respect for her. Is it wrong for me to ask her to not let that happen? |
t3_2s3sjg | jobs | Lease ending, when do I assume I didn't get the job? | I visited a potential employer 1500 miles away (happened to be in the area visiting friends) back in November on an informal visit after meeting them at a conference earlier in the year and being given their card. At the November meeting we discussed upcoming positions with the company and afterward I submitted a formal application for the available position. I was under the impression that I was a strong candidate for the job.
In December I inquired via email as to when the company would make its decision about the open position. They said to expect a decision January.
At the beginning of this month (January) I sent another email, simply wishing Happy Holidays to the employer and noting at the end that I looked forward to any update from them. That was over a week ago, no reply or updates about the position yet.
My lease ends at the end of the month, in 3 weeks, and my alternative job here at my current location begins in two weeks. I can leave the job but I can't leave the lease. I need to start thinking about whether or not I need to renew my lease. I dont want to send any more emails to the potential employer. How long should I wait before assuming I'm not getting the position and renewing my lease? | Sent two follow up emails about position, haven't gotten a final decision on employment yet, lease ending 3 weeks how long should I wait to renew/not renew? |
t3_2add9f | relationships | I [23M] have always been friendly with my co-workers. Another female co-worker [20F], who is in a committed relationship, is becoming more than "work friends" with me. My GF [20F] doesn't seem too happy. [2 year relationship] | A little back story. I have always been friendly with people at work but nobody seems to want to be actual friends outside of work (which i suppose is understandable). I am becoming friends with "Emily" and my girlfriend "Elise" isn't too happy it seems. Elise keeps telling me that she knows Emily and that she hasn't been too faithful to her other boyfriends and that she could try something (Emily is currently in a 2 year long relationship as well). I tell her that if you have anything to worry about, it's me, but she didn't have to because I would never do anything bad to our relationship. She seems wary to trust my words simply because (another backstory) about 6 years ago I played world of warcraft and made a friend who is a girl over that game. She was a great friend and we talked all the time. This friend "Lexi" probably had developed a "sort of" crush on me, or at least that was what my girlfriend told me. After about 6 months of periodic fighting about her being my friend, I chose to end the friendship (even though i really didn't want to that badly) to just relieve the stress. Back to what I was saying, Elise has told me "I don't really trust you talking to women, but I still trust you." I know this doesn't really make sense, but I would like to have other friends as well. So I am stuck. I know that Elise won't really get the jealousy, or whatever it is, out of her head but I still want to be friends with Emily. What do I do? | Emily" isn't too happy about me befriending a co-worker. I think it's possibly jealousy but it doesn't really matter because I can't move forward without her "approval". |
t3_31pxau | relationships | Should I [21 M] propose to my gf [21 F] of 2.5 years, or is it too soon? | My SO and I met our freshman year of college, dating since sophomore year, and we will be graduating this spring. Living together for almost a year now also.
When we graduate it will probably be one of the very few times our two families will be in the same place over the foreseeable future. Her grandfather just recently passed away and her grandmother doesn't have a ton of time either. It is important for her that her gram sees her(physically/figuratively) get engaged or married.
I'm waiting to hear back on certain jobs but she has agreed to follow me to wherever it is my job takes me. My initial idea was to wait a few months to a year after moving with her to propose, just to make sure the move was smooth and we still felt the same way. But my love hasn't wavered and I want it to be a perfect storm of happiness at graduation. The school and the experience has meant so much to us both and I feel that with all the things around us it would be a wonderful idea.
But i'm I making the wrong move by going a little soon? | I want to propose to my gf at graduation because it's the perfect time, but don't know if it's too soon. |
t3_3n1mol | relationships | My [27M] girlfriend [26F] of 2 years brings other people into our arguments & fights. I feel like it's unfair but not sure what to call it or how to respond. Is it just me or is this behavior not OK? | We've had a rocky relationship lately, and in a lot of our arguments she brings up how she's spoken to some friend and they agree with her that I'm a terrible boyfriend, that she should leave me, that she can do better, etc. Usually these are unnamed friends or coworkers of hers. I have no fucking clue how to respond to this, even though it makes me really upset.
Though most of the time these are unnamed folks, sometimes they'll be my friends or coworkers she mentions having these talks with. During an argument last night, she even told my sister about "your behavior" a few weeks ago and my sister was "horrified" by how horrible a boyfriend I am.
Today we were fighting and she kept mentioning a particular coworker of mine and how this person has told her that I don't listen to her enough or I'm not supportive enough — or something, the details are always murky. This is somebody I work with pretty closely and though I haven't said anything to him, it's now on my mind during all our interactions.
Obviously we have issues to deal with, but this kind of thing makes me too upset to even try to deal with the root issues. I mean, it's true that I have one or two friends who I talk to about our relationship and who I even vent to sometimes. These friends listen and give me decent advice. But I'd never try to use what they say as a weapon during an argument.
What is this kind of thing even called? Do most people argue like this and I'm just not in the loop? I feel like I can't even respond, and I also am starting to feel closed off and weird being around people because I don't know who has a distorted or extremely negative opinion of me now. | Girlfriend speaking to (many?) others about our relationship, using what they say as a weapon during arguments and fights. Don't know how to deal. |
t3_4dm1ib | relationships | Me [26 M] with my Gf [24F] of 1 year, says she feels like a peice of meat whenever I intiate sex. | I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now. She was my first everything but she's had several partners and boyfriends before me. When we first started dating the intimacy was high between each other. We couldn't get our hands off each other.
It's been two months now and we've had sex twice in the past two months. So I tried to initiate the other day by kissing her passionately and then out of nowhere she said I'm not some sort of sex object where I open my legs and let you f*** me. That caught me off guard and totally killed the mood. I got so angry and so hurt by her comment because we have been rarely intimate and how can 2 people having sex in a relationship make someone feel like a sex object. I love her to death I'm not with her just for sex because we have been rarely having sex and if I was with someone just for that,
I would not be with her.
Sex with her is never rough it's always slow with a lot of kissing and I always ask her if everything is going good while we do the deed. I try to make it all about her and make her as comfortable as possible. I don't know what I'm asking for but how does someone deal with something like this. I have to add that she has extreme body image issues, she always goes the the gym 1.5hrs 6 times a week and has a history of binging and purging a few years ago but she's on a nutrition plan now. | GF said she feels like a sex object when I tried to initiate sex even though it's been sex once a month on average. |
t3_44hdyx | relationships | My [23m] girlfriends [18f] best friend [19f] is cheating on her boyfriend [18m] and I feel bad and not sure if I should tell him or not. | Okay first off let me say that I do not know the boyfriend. I only know him through drama and stories. I understand that it isn't really my business, but I was in his position once and if I was him I'd like to have known.
Now there's really not much to this story other than I'm seeking advice as to what I should do. I know my girlfriend's best friend has cheated on her boyfriend multiple (maybe 3-5) times over the year and a half they have been together. She is just using him and I feel bad for the guy cuz he seems like a nice good kid who actually cares about her.
I was once in that position when I was in high school and I feel like I should tell him but I'm not sure how or if I should even get involved. Any advice is appreciated. | Girlfriends best friend is cheating on her boyfriend and I feel like I should let him know but I'm unsure. |
t3_22hth9 | relationships | Me [20F] with my long distance romantic interest [21M]. I had sex with someone else during a period of no contact. The guilt is overwhelming me. | 21M and I are now talking of reconciling after an eleven month long period of separation. I moved to his city for college recently.
We spoke for seven of these eleven month long periods. We'd talk every day. We agreed we loved each other, but that long distance was dumb. We'd see other people if it popped up. He tried and did a little, I never wanted to.
Eventually, he said that he wanted to have NSA sex with other girls. It hurt me. A lot. I decided to cut off contact, just to give us space and reassess.
I went to visit a friend in some college dorms and I slept with a guy I'm quite familiar with. He was nice to me and I felt lonely. I felt like the long distance guy didn't want me anymore. All of my friends told me I should try it, even my fucking mom said I needed to get over it. So I did it. I had never done anything else (even kissed) someone aside from my long distance guy when we were together before he moved. The sex messed with my head a little, but it helped in other ways.
Fast forward to now. I've moved and long distance guy is no longer long distance. He wants to get back together. Told me he didn't have sex with anyone else when I asked. He didn't ask me. I didn't feel like I could bring it up. I know I can't hide it from him, though. I just don't want to ruin everything.
Please help me figure this out. I can't hide it because I feel so guilty. I know (logically) I didn't do anything wrong, but I still can't help but feel like that is that case. Advice is strongly appreciated. | Ex and I are in talks of getting back together. How do I tell him I slept with someone else? The guilt is consuming me a little. |
t3_13lbmy | AskReddit | Reddt - What have you out of pure conscience done resulting in you having to pay a huge bill? | Today I hit a car while backing out of a parkingbooth. It was dark and I quickly inspected the car for damages and didn't find any. My car was in fine condition too, so I decided to just drive away. But about 10 kilometers (6miles) away and almost home, I felt so bad and decided to turn my car around and drive back into town. I inspected the car once more, and found a huge dent in it's rear bumper. Now I didn't think I could have caused it, but I did notice some cracks in the paint another place. So I left a note, giving my phone number and apologizing for hitting the car, saying I wasn't sure if the dent was there before my accident. Now it seems I have to pay for a new rear bumper. | I hit a car in a parking lot, drove away, felt bad, drove back, left a note and now I pay. |
t3_28wf26 | needadvice | Everything changed drastically and I could do with some advice | Bit of backstory...
Note: I'm from the uk
I'm 17 and started college back in September. From year 7 to year 11 (11 years old - 16 years old) I was a pretty popular well liked guy who got on with everybody, heck I was even nominated for "prom king" and "golden-hearted" last July for our end of school prom.
In year 11 I started realising that I didn't want to be a part of my friends group as they were cocky "jocks" and I realised that I had little in common with them at that point, I hung around with others, but would still chill with the jocks if I couldn't find anyone else.
In September, all of the jocks and some of my closest friends went to different colleges, so now I only have 1 or 2 close friends, and a few acquaintances. Over the course of this past year, I think I've developed anxiety, I only talk to the same couple of people everyday and been dipping in out of stages of anxiety and depression.
I can no longer sustain conversations with girls, and I literally have nothing in common with most of the boys in my year. I now sit inside all day unless I'm at college and my confidence is now minimal. I need a haircut but I'm even pretty nervous about going due to either getting a bad hair cut or even thinking about the small talk makes me edgy.
It's painful to see all of my friends and people having great times, going to music festivals and parties which I used to do, I used to get invited to everything but now that my friendship group has decreased in size and most of my friends have gone to different colleges, I feel horrible. | used to be popular and well liked, friends went to different colleges, self diagnosed anxiety and social awkwardness, sit inside all day instead of doing what kids my age should be doing, unable to talk to girls. |
t3_jyxiv | AskReddit | Trying to move from Kentucky to Colorado in October. Is there a cheaper way to haul a car+stuff? Please help me, Reddit(Wan-Kenobi), you're my only hope. | I really don't think my '96 Camry should make the trip and then be my source of transportation in a new place. Would like to save it the trip's miles. Also plan to take a few boxes of clothing, belongings. Would love to be able to take a small couch, and two matresses--but those are more optional.
My problem is U-Haul's prices. The cheapest available is roughly $900 to haul my car and a minimal amount of stuff--the 10' variety, with an attached tow-ramp.
I have roughly enough money for the first month's rent or two(still working out details on a place), and plan to save an extra grand over the next month for food and living expenses until I land a job(of which I have a few small prospects). I just can't see scrimping together a spare $1000 just for the haul.
I'm basically praying Reddit is smarter than me, or can give me some option I've overlooked/haven't considered. | Need to haul my car to spare it the miles. Don't see how I can get enough together for U-Haul's prices. Hoping Reddit is smarter than me. |
t3_uirdl | AskReddit | Reddit today is my 21st birthday, and after reading the "horrible birthday stories" askreddit I wanted to know what what are your best birthday stories? | Warning: my story may seem a little depressing but it really is the best birthday that I have ever had.
Warning 2: I did this on my phone and apologize in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.
When I was half way through the second grade my mom, my sister, and I moved to a smallish town in Utah named Centerville. For starters I hated living there, and I started to completely shut down. I was always "Sick for school" because I hated it so much there and my mom let me get away with it because she could see how unhappy I was. When my birthday rolled around toward the end of the school year I was hoping to atleast have a decent sized party with most of the friends that I had made while living there. However my mom just going through a recent divorce didn't have a lot of money, and told me that we could only have a small party with 1-2 of my friends at the local McDonalds, and we could only get one thing each. So I invited my two closest friends that I had made while I was there and when my birthday rolled around only one of them showed up. I remember i only had one of the fruit and yogurt parfaits that they had and my friend had a double cheeseburger.
When I was a kid I had hated this birthday for the longest time, but now as I have grown up and am looking back on this memory it is one of my favorites because of the time I had gotten to spend with my mom and my one friend, and how it showed they both actually cared enough to try an show me a good time. | moved to a little city, had a shitty birthday, looking back on it now it was one of the best birthdays. |
t3_1fjdrc | travel | American Airlines' mistake has left me unable to pay rent, bills and buy groceries for the next two weeks. Incurring overdraft and unpaid bill charges for me. | I paid for return flights from Ireland to the US earlier this week with my Visa debit card, which charges directly to my bank account.
On Friday I got a call from my landlord saying that my rent hadn't come through. When I looked at my bank account it showed that American Airlines had charged my bank account for the flights AND had another transaction in my pending transactions for the flights again. This left my bank account over €400 in arrears. My landlord is pissed at me, I have two bills to pay soon and I am definitely going to incur charges because of it.
I called my bank and they told me that AA had put an authorization hold on my account (this is the pending transaction) which won't be released for 7 to 10 working days. Monday is a bank holiday here so that means it could be June 17th before the authorization hold is released and I can gain access to my money again. My next payday isn't until the 25th and I have no access to other funds until then.
I also contacted AA via Facebook (because that seems to be the best way of getting a complaint heard by big companies these days). This was their response:
"We're sorry for your frustration, Sean. We show you purchased your ticket on May 29th. You were not double charged, the other amount is an authorization hold on your account. This will be released within 7-10 business days. We'll see what we can do about getting that released on our end. You can also contact your bank and see if it can be released on your end."
**What can I do to get compensation for the massive hassle AA have caused me? | AA have charged my account twice, leaving me with arrears in my bank account and without access to money until up to June 17th |
t3_nhl0h | relationship_advice | Why do I like girls that are assholes? | Hey reddit! Throwaway account!
I've only ever properly liked 2 girls. I liked them enough to ask them to be in a relationship with me which they agreed to. At separate times, obviously!
Anyway when I was in the relationship I wasn't happy. They weren't treating me the way I'd expect to be treated. It was different things for the two girls but I was really unhappy. It got to the point with the two girls that I really should have ended it, but I didn't. I kept trying to make it work and even when it did end I still wanted it back.
I've been with a pretty respectable amount of girls. I've treated a lot of them pretty shitty and don't have any feelings for them at all but I'm pretty sure I could sleep with most of them again. The two I liked I treated like absolute princesses. I was understanding, I talked to them and I listened to them.
The answer seems to be treat 'em mean keep 'em keen but fuck that. I'm not the guy to do that to a girl I like. Anyone any idea why I'm like this? | I treat girls well, works great for a while, they seem to get bored, don't want me anymore but I still want them. |
t3_31rv9p | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 4 years. How should I time this breakup? | We live together and are both still working towards getting our bachelor's degrees. He'll be graduating after he completes a summer course, after which he'll lose his job at the university and have to find a "real" one. I'll be able to afford moving into my own place whenever, but things will be harder for him. He doesn't have solid job prospects or alot of money saved up and spends most of his free time playing games because he thinks we'll be staying in this super cheap place indefinitely. Incidentally this is the main reason why I feel the need to break up with him--it's too easy for me to be lazy and antisocial with him around and I don't want to be that kind of person. This is just the way he is and expecting or asking him to change that isn't really an option.
I've been wanting to break up for some time but have been putting it off because I don't want to fuck things up for him. I also don't want him to be dealing with too many emotional problems so close to graduation. I really care about this guy and want to minimize the damage done as much as possible.
It seems like he's noticed that I'm pulling away a bit and I've found myself reassuring him about our relationship because I'm not ready to have that talk yet. The guilt is mounting and it seems like any way I deal with this will be wrong. Does anyone have any advice? | When/how do I break up with my life-in boyfriend who's graduating soon and will be out of a job? |
t3_ssn85 | AskReddit | Parents, I need some advice | My nine year old son has officially decided to no longer give a shit. I understand that this is typical. He has been deprived of almost everything except the necessities. No tv, no video games, no fun basically except for the weekends he comes to my house and his baseball team (games, practice, etc. ) Yes, he lives with his mom. She works a 9-5 and he is a "latchkey kid". He has no adult supervision for a couple of hours that he is home and neglects his homework, chores, etc. I know yelling obviously doesn't work and the talks/lectures don't stick longer than a few days (a good butt whooping sounds good, but I'm not going there). My ex is considering afterschool daycare (which is expensive and I'm already paying out the ass for child support). I'm thinking of teaching him karate, more for the self discipline than the physical aspect, but I don't know if that will work. Please help me. | Need suggestions/ideas for lazy, disrespectful 9 year old son who lives with mom and stays home alone after school. |
t3_1en9zt | relationship_advice | (21/M) Dating a (19/F) that just won't open up to me. | I've been dating this girl for about 7 months or so which started out as an online relationship until she was forced to move out of her home to live here. I thought this would be a great opportunity to have her be more open about her problems but even still, she just doesn't speak of them. She considered me as one of her best friends until we finally got together. She'd talk to me then whenever something would go wrong, but now she won't even say a word when I ask about it. I get the cold shoulder with the words of "Nothing is wrong." or "I'm fine." This is a little unsettling for me since she used to be able to talk to me about everything until we started dating. I do give her time to recover and calm herself before I ask her what is troubling her so deeply. Still, I just get no response about it. She'll carry on like everything is fine and back to normal. I don't know about you guys but wouldn't you find that something concerning in your relationship? I thought I'd feel closer to her now that we are dating and living in the same home, but she still pushes me away when an issue arrives in her life. I'm seeing it as a serious communication failure seeing how I'll always speak to her when I'm upset but she won't do so. Instead, she just runs to her friends on facebook or whatever to speak about it. How am I supposed to feel about that? I love her to death, but I just don't know how to deal with that in the long run. It could possibly put us to an end if I don't feel like I've gotten any closer to her. | GF turns into a hermit crab when it comes to her problems and feelings and won't speak to me but will to her friends. What should I do before this ruins us in the long run? |
t3_3n6rvb | relationship_advice | My boyfriend wants to move out so he can have his own room but wants to stay together. | So my BF (25M) and I (25F) have been together for three years and we have been living together for about one year. Everything has been great, the relationship is fine. It's been convenient that we've lived together because I drive us around town and we spit gas and rent with another friend of ours.
Now the opportunity for him to get his own place has presented itself and he is considering moving out with an old college buddy he lived with a few years ago. He wants to stay together, but doesn't want the one room we share together, he says he needs his own personal space, which I get and think is totally valid.
Also though, I'm a bit bothered by it for multiple reasons. One being that he'd move out and I love having him around to come home to. And two, because although he doesn't pay much rent/utilities he does help out and the money he gives me every month definitely helps me get by.
In my eyes it seems selfish to move out when I know he'll just be over all the time anyway like he was before he moved in. Except now he won't be "living" with me. He says he wants to live with me but has to look out for his best interest. But what about mine? The biggest reason I live here is because I love my bf and want to stay here with him. I've sacrificed a lot for him, and now I feel like he's just looking out for what's convenient for him.
Barring the extra space he needs to feel comfortable, it really hurts my feelings he'd wants to move out. I feel like him moving out is like backtracking in a relationship. And I wonder if it will suffer because of it.
I need help friends. | my boyfriend wants to move out so he can have his own office/game room/whatever, but wants to stay together. What do I do? |
t3_11iv48 | relationship_advice | [26M] Dealing with a self esteem killing Friendship [26M] (not romantic) | So I have developed a good bit over the past few years. I am much more organized, more assertive, and more ambitious. I have been with many women and really want to branch out and network with large groups of people. My friend couldn't be more opposite. Despite being a the type of guy that people gravitate to, (he was captain of the Lacrosse team) he is very timid around new ambitious people. He barely got by in college and partied a lot. He doesn't have much courage at all around girls, despite his great wit and sense of humor. I've been with more girls than my 'crew' of guy friends, combined. (Yet he constantly belittles me for not having standards.... He hasn't been with a girl in around 4 years)
He recently has made his intentions to be ambitious vocal, but there have been many occasions where he has started something and quickly given up. I partly suspect that this is another attempt to one-up me, through his own mental gymnastics to feel better about himself.
When ever something good happens to me, but ignores me or tries to one up me. This happens very frequently, because I have found a career path that I love, and am very good at. (I received honors in the subject at the high school graduation, went to one of the best schools in the country, and was top of my class there. And now I work in my field (and am the youngest in my office). I end up feeling belittled by him when I succeed. I want to have friends where I can mutually grow, but it is hard to break off our friendship. We have been very close and have gone through a lot of rough spots in our lives together. I suspect that he is belittling me as a way to improve his own self esteem. When ever I call him out, he denies it.
How do I get through the passive agression? How do I find the strength to stop depending on him as a social outlet? We are so comfortable with each other, it is difficult to see this level of mutual friendship develop in someone else. | I have been more assertive in life than my best friend, and I suspect he has become very passive agressive about it. How do I deal? |
t3_4tnuht | relationships | My [21M] Girlfriend [19F] is nervous about any sexual contact due to a prior experience. | My girlfriend [19F] and I [21M] have been dating for over 7 months and we have not really gone past 2nd base due to her getting nervous. She was taken advantage of by a prior boyfriend and fingered without her consent. This made her very uncomfortable to the point where she is nervous about letting me touch her down there, and of sexual contact in general. She has never even had an orgasm because of this fear. We really want to move past this, but I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or rushed. We need some help but I don't know what to do. I want to go slow to make her feel safe. We live with our respective parents and commute to college, so we need to be discrete if possible. | Girlfriend [19F] and I [21M] are stuck on 2nd base because of a consent violation in her past. |
t3_hbffp | AskReddit | Help Reddit! This guy is saying I broke his laptop, what are my options? More details inside... | This guy was over at my house a couple weeks ago, lets call him Guy. Guy is friends with another one of my house mates, and they were hanging out in the living room. Guy's laptop was on the couch, and I didn't see it when I sat down, and ended up sitting on the edge of it. I barely sat on it, because as soon as I sat down, I kind of leaned over to the side when I felt it, and got up real quick while Guy grabbed it from under me. It was such a minor incident, I had forgotten all about it, until Guy contacts me telling me his macbook is broken. He says it turned on some times, but most of the time it doesn't, and when it would turn on it would freeze up and crash.
He asked me to take him to the Apple store, which I agreed to, since I have a car and he doesn't. We ended up not making it (caught in traffic, missed appointment, had to go back to class) but we did manage to stop by some rando's apartment so he could pick up a laptop to borrow during finals.
Anyway, now that school is over, he is trying to get me to drive him again to the Apple store, and wants me to help pay for it. I'm usually a nice enough guy, but I already drove him once, and I definitely don't have the money to pay for much. Am I even liable? I'm thinking he put it on my couch, which is not a reasonable place to look out for a laptop, but I also don't necessarily want to be a douche. Any suggestions would be helpful. | this guy had his laptop on my couch when i didn't see it and sat down on it; now he says it's broken, what am i liable for here? |
t3_3obphg | relationships | I (26F) am uncomfortable with my boyfriend (27M) hanging out with a coworker he has told me he finds attractive, am I overreacting? We have been 9 years together. | Hello! I'll try and make this as short as possible, I just feel quite uncomfortable with the situation and I hope I'm just being silly and can find a way to just look past it.
A month ago I started medical school and it consumes a lot of my time so unfortunately my boyfriend and I don't get to see each other as much as we used to (even though we live together!). Recently some coworkers of his came here to work for the winter season (a couple) again and he went to hang out with them as he hasn't seen them in a while, fine by me.
The part that bothers me, is that he spends a lot more alone time with the girl than with me and they do things that we initially as a couple were gonna plan on doing. That bugged me but I know I'm not around much so I thought it was just somebody to hang out with and that's it but then a few days ago we all went out together and it's always just them talking and I noticed there is a "click" there, so after we got home I spoke to him and he admitted he is attracted to her, that she is very pretty but that isn't why he hangs out with her and I have nothing to worry about.
I know I most likely have nothing to worry about, but that comment annoyed me. I'm probably just comparing it to how I would act in that situation I guess...if I was hanging out with somebody I was attracted to, spending more time with them that with my partner and having outings that I would usually have with my partner...I would step away because I would feel like I was acting upon certain feelings.
He thinks I am being very silly and overreacting, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable. Everytime I'm done with class and tell him I'll be home soon he says "oh you finished early, I'm with (girl), I thought you'd be later". What should I do? Just trust him and move on or is it normal for me to feel uncomfortable? | Boyfriend hangs out with a friend more than me and he admitted he is attracted to her. It makes me uncomfortable, am I being silly? |
t3_2puiyr | tifu | TIFU calling a girl "Huge". | This happened months ago, I've always just felt it's too embarrassing to post.
I was in Paris for my best mate's 30th in May.
We were out and about enjoying the bars and the clubs in Montmartre (a lovely, cultured area north of the city centre).
We ended up meeting this group of girls from London through a friend of a friend. We're Australian, generally easy going and friendly and ready to meet new people, and we all ended up having a fantastic night together.
Beers, spirits, tequila, underground bars and dancing ended up becoming blatant drunken straddling on any couch or seat we could all find.
I ended up heading back to the hotel where the most gorgeous, voluptuous of the London girls was staying who I'd been fortunate enough to be kissing all night.
She took me upstairs to her apartment where we waited around awkwardly for her other housemates to go bed and then proceeded to eat each other's lips off and grind up on the kitchen bench, the stove and then finally the couch.
She switched the light off and magic begun.
She removed her top and for some inane reason I became lost in the glory of the moment...
Like a 15 year old schoolboy I blurted out, "Wow... you're huge" - eyes glazed, dumbfounded at my incredible luck.
Her smile became a blank stare and she misinterpreted the comment as me making a statement about her weight.
Everything stopped.
I got up, offered to leave which she said was an excellent idea, put my shirt back on and left out the front door.
I left confidently (and quietly cursing at myself), trying to keep my head held high (I was misinterpreted, right?!?), and then proceeded to lose my bearings.
Did I enter this garden from the right or the left?
I got lost in her hotel garden for an hour and could not for the life of me escape.
I crawled around trying to find the gate I entered through before security eventually arrived and asked what the fuck I was doing. I told them I was trying to escape and they booted me out.
She's a pretty close friend of a friend and I've never heard from her since. | I called a girl huge just as we were about to get it on and then proceeded to crawl around in her garden for an hour. |
t3_4lmzt8 | personalfinance | How can I manage my money, and plan for the future at the same time? | (Sorry for the possible wall of text, I'm not a regular poster on reddit and I'm also on my phone! Once again, so sorry!)
A little bit of back story: I'm 18 and was just evicted from my apartment we spent over $600 getting into because of a bad roommate choice. This eviction caused me to have to move to a town too far away to commute to my current job so that I won't be homeless, and I am moving with zero money to start out with.
Currently I was hired on at a fast food place in my town, and I am looking for a second job. The eviction left me with $790 worth of lease termination fees that I have to pay, on top of all my other bills. Luckily, this can be paid off over the course of 6 months. In the meantime, I am hoping to be able to pay my bills, get my necessities to live on, and save enough money to get back into an apartment hopefully by the end of the summer, because I can't stay in my current location past the end of the summer. | Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can manage to get all my bills and stuff paid, and be able to have a savings account to get into another apartment by the end of the summer? |
t3_3chrlf | relationships | My [21 F] boyfriend [20 M] of 1 year is in Africa. | My boyfriend and I just got back from an amazing summer of backpacking Europe. Now, he is in Africa for three weeks and can only send an occasional FB message.
He's having an absolute blast meeting new people, partying, and learning a lot. I'm stuck at home living with my parents. I'm so jealous and I miss him terribly.
I'm having trouble adjusting from seeing each other 24/7 for two months to not seeing him at all. I know this is going to sound naive, but how do I deal with missing him so much? I think about him constantly and it's starting to become a problem because I can't be present in my current life. What can I do to not miss him so much? | After seeing each other constantly, boyfriend and I are apart for the first time. I don't know how to productively exist without missing him constantly. |
t3_32kr9t | weddingplanning | I'm honestly not sure what to do about my family. | So, my husband proposed to me in April last year, and problems arose from the time I let them know we were getting married. My mom immediately let me know they wouldn't be helping out with funding, since they were saving for retirement. I hadn't expected any help from them, honestly, but then she said they probably wouldn't be able to go to most of the wedding because of their business. I offered to hire some people and run the business for an evening, and she burst into tears, saying no-one could do it, and did I know how bad she felt? So, my parents will only be there for the ceremony, and will leave almost immediately after.
The whole time, my mother has been insisting on different things, despite her uninvolvement of my wedding. Well, I have to invite my sisters to be my bridesmaids, big sister's children to be flowergirl/ringbearer, that I can't ask them to buy things for the wedding (dress, shoes, etc) because they don't want to spend too much money. I have to invite so many people from my family that I feel like it's more of an excuse to have the family gathering at my wedding instead of later in the year, even people I don't like.
My sister, who is planning my bridal shower, is acting like the stress of the wedding is worse for her than me, and refuses to pay more than 100 dollars on anything she has to buy for the wedding. She insisted on me having the bridal shower at my house, and then got furious at me when I couldn't fit everyone she invited, forcing my husband to call around for a different venue.
My extended family seems to be taking my wedding as an extended opportunity to invite everyone they know to the wedding.
I just have no idea what to say to this, and do idea what to do. I am honestly dumbfounded at their behavior. They seem to have temporarily taken leave of their senses. And I haven't listed everything that's been done/insisted. I was so excited about how my wedding was going, and now I'm so disappointed.
Does anyone have advice? Is anyone going through something similar? If so, what are you doing about it? | My family seems to have gone crazy over my wedding, and are insisting on me doing things I don't really want to do. They have the smallest contribution in the wedding, and are causing the most problems. What should I do? |
t3_3mwigz | relationships | I [29 M] hit if off really well with a young woman [29 F] at a retreat two weekends ago. She lives in Dallas (TX), I live in Lexington (KY), and we've been texting. What is the best way to take this to the next level? | I went to a heath & fitness retreat two weekends ago and met a young woman there with whom I felt a pretty strong connection. We hit it off very well, exchanged numbers, and have been texting in the weeks since.
We're involved in a somewhat small social/professional circle and there's a good chance I'd see her at other events, but this would probably once or twice a year at most.
I don't want this to end up being the kind of situation where we see each other at various retreats and conferences and crush on each other. I'd really like to try to pursue a relationship but am unsure how to best do this.
To let her know my intentions, I have in mind to propose that we pick an evening, we each buy a bottle of wine, get dressed up, pick a quite place, light some candles, and have a Skype date.
If she's also interested she'll (hopefully) be down with that. If she's not interested she'll (hopefully) be straightforward and let me know.
Is there a better way to let her know that I am interested and that I would very much like to take this to another level?
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Thanks! | I hit it off really well with a girl at a retreat and we've been texting. How do I pursue this, considering that we live in distant cities? |
t3_3j3x7j | relationships | My [16F] Boyfriend's [15M] Sister [19F] Hit Me | My boyfriends sister & I have never really got along, we've never had a fight but I've always felt that she doesn't like me. My boyfriend & I have been in a relationship for 7 months and we had a fight a few days ago that resulted in me kind of punching him. I felt terrible about it afterwards, I apologized and thought that we had made up. But today when we were supposed to hang out, I knocked on his door, his sister answered and she confronted me about hitting him, I denied it, and she literally punched me in the face, I started crying and I apologized to her about the misunderstansing, she didn't apologize back and she shut the door. My boyfriend and I haven't talked since and I feel like she's trying to ruin our relationship. What should I do? | My boyfriends sister hit me because of a fight my boyfriend & I had, I feel like she's trying to mess up our relationship. |
t3_3u94dy | relationships | I [22 M] am getting extremely jealous of my girlfriend [19 F][4 months] | My girlfriend and I have been in a healthy relationship for 4 months. But there is one thing that I hate in my relationship with her (since the beginning) and that is going out to bars/nightclubs together. We might be having a great time but it makes me extremely uncomfortable/jealous once a guy starts talking to her. The problem is not that I'm not confident enough. I know that she loves me, that she loves being with me and that I make her happy. The problem is that I just don't like the thought of another guy hitting on my girlfriend. She would never do something, but I know that by the moment a guy approaches my gf, he just wants to take her home. In some sense I feel like protecting her.
There hasn't been a situation where I have expressed my jealousy to her, except that one time when I was drunk and told a dude to fuck off.
I don't want this to ruin our relationship and I want to fight this feeling. What would your advice be? | I'm getting jealous when other guys are talking to my girlfriend at bars/nightclubs although I'm a confident person. |
t3_1nzfzh | relationships | I[23/F] just started a business and I can't figure out how to handle my de facto business partner (37/M). I haven't had to make a relationship with anyone in three or more years and just don't know how. | I have a lot of problems in my working relationship with this man. He is 14 years older than I am (based on a comparison of our graduating years) and he just won't listen to me. I have done all the work setting this up and my name is on everything. I'm the one who has taken out the loan. He is my de facto business partner. I am actually the boss. I run everything and he needs to listen to me because I have been put in the position of managing everything.
He keeps telling me "Tell me what to do and I will do it" but he doesn't listen to what I say. And he complains a lot about everything. If he can change it, he complains instead of changing it. If he can't change it, he complains instead of learning to work with the problem. He has NO problem solving skills.
Sometimes I have to get my dad involved because he won't listen to me. I will say something to him and he will try to fight me on it. It's usually something factual like "[My Sister] might do some work as a point dialer for us." and he asks what a point dialer is. I explain and he just doesn't believe me. I have to get my dad, who says the exact same thing, before he listens.
Now. I have a limited number of relationships in my life. I have my father, my mom, my sister, her boyfriend, two friends and their boyfriends. That is the extent of my relationships.
Except for all the boyfriends (who I don't see much anyway), I've know these people more than a decade and we know how each other are.
This guy. I have no idea. His personality type is infuriating. I'm an INTJ, I have no idea what he might be. Which personality type complains and can't solve problems? What do I do with those sorts of people? | New "business partner" doesn't respect me. He is 14 years older and I am a girl. Not sure which is the problem. I'm doing everything. I don't know how to handle someone with his personality. |
t3_31th51 | relationships | My brother (27m) sexually abused me (24f) as a child. He's now buying a house with his gf and she's been expressing her want of having kids | I can't really give a timeline of my brother abusing me but I can say that sometimes between the ages of 10 and 13 my brother raped me multiple times as well as other things. Within the past year and a half or so, I've told my mom, who told my dad. My brother apparently told my mom at some point before that. I haven't told them any details, I don't know what my brother said but I said he molested me and that's all I said. My parents have encouraged me to seek therapy but my dad has told me this is something I just need to get over (so I kind of hope that they don't really know what happened).
I've found out that my brother plans to move out with his gf. I always kind of hoped he'd never have kids so I'd never have to worry about this. But I do. I worry that he's done this to other people and I worry he might do this to his children because nothing he's done has made me feel otherwise.
I've thought about telling his gf but I have no evidence to provide, especially if he denies what he's done. I also worry about telling his gf because at the moment I am finacially dependent on my parents and I'm not really sure how they'd react. I don't know what to do. I want to protect any potential children my brother has but I have no evidence that my brother would do anything to them. And I don't know how his gf or my parents would react to me telling her about this. | My brother sexually abused me as a child and I don't know if or how to tell his gf before she moves in with him and potentially has kids with him. |
t3_1916m2 | relationships | SO (26f) getting romantic texts from her "platonic" friend; lied about it when I asked if her guy friends send her inappropriate texts. Should I (27m) confront either of them or let it go? | Requisite details: she's 26, I'm 27, we live together, have been together officially for a year, friends for 3 years.
I checked her phone; I realize I have trust issues. We had some problems with her lying about inappropriate texts and photos at the beginning of our relationship when things were not super official, and I guess I haven't quite gotten over that.
So I checked her phone the other day, and found texts from one of her guy friends that was pursuing her before she and I got together. The first read something like, "Then when I press your face into mine you'll be butter in my arms." The second read, "you are a mysterious woman ;)" Her responses were all deleted.
I didn't want to make a huge deal about it, so one day I casually asked, "Do any of your guy friends still send you flirty texts?" She said no, not since we got together. So I dropped it. But why would she lie about this? Why delete her responses?
I feel like I want to confront this guy (I've met him before) and ask him to stop with the texts, and to respect that she's with me. But am I just making a huge deal about this? Should I just drop it? | My GF's guy friend sent her romantic texts, she deleted her responses and told me she hasn't gotten any inappropriate texts from her guy friends since we got together. |
t3_jvo81 | AskReddit | Therapists of Reddit: Do you think the general public, not just patients in therapy, would benefit from learning ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)? | For some background, I'm seeing a therapist, and the things I'm learning from ACT have been very useful. And I don't mean useful in a limited personal sense, one merely directed at my troubles, but useful in a broader sense that has been beneficial in almost all aspects of my life.
The reason I bring this to Reddit is that I think I'm not alone, and beyond that, I think that people who don't view themselves as having psychological issues could still benefit from ACT.
* Do you have trouble meeting new people?
* Are you overly self-critical?
* Are you overly concerned about the future?
* Do you dwell on your mistakes?
* Do you walk around without noticing what you've passed, or where you've went?
* Do you hear your parents'/SO's/teacher's/boss's voice in your head?
* Are you self-conscious?
These, from my experience, make up a bulk of the topics discussed on Reddit. For that reason, I've thought to pose the question, couldn't we all benefit from a little Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in our lives. It's a philosophy of mindfulness, that can improve the way we frame our troubles. | If you've been fighting a war inside your head, what would it be like if instead of trying to win that war, you knew a way to step out of it? |
t3_lqnrm | AskReddit | To all the lawyers, I have a hypothetical... | I've been wondering about something on " One Life To Live". Todd Manning's life was taken over by his twin brother ,who was actually his twin Victor Lord,Jr.
Todd was declared dead, then Victor(who was brainwashed into believing that he was Todd) took over his life for 8 years. Finally, Todd escaped his captors and re-emerged. Meanwhile, Victor is killed and names his mother(who orchestrated all this) as sole beneficiary or his will. Todd's sister Tina claims that since she is the only living heir to "Todd's(Victor's) fortune, she should inherit everything. Can Todd walk in and claim his fortune, or will he have to go to court to regain his rightful fortune? | Can a man who has been declared dead, but is really alive, reclaim his fortune from his doppelganger? |
t3_2b4vrr | relationships | My Ex Husband is getting re-married and excluding our children from the ceremony, but including soon-to-be step-daughter. | My (36F) ex husband (35M) and I have three children: 9 F, 7 M, and 6 F. He is getting remarried next month and my children have just come home confused and upset because thier father informed them they will not be involved in the ceremony (apart from attending), however their soon to be step sister, 6 F, does get to participate by being a flower girl.
They said that their dad told them that because they got to be involved in my wedding (to their step father last year), and that their step sister didn't get that experience is why she is being included. That and also the bride is her mother, and therefore MUST be included.
It seems to me that all of the children or none of the chidlren should be involved. I feel it is unfair. Am i being unreasnoable feeling this way? Would it be over stepping my bounds to speak to my ex about this? | Ex husband is getting remarried, excluding our 3 children from ceremony, but including his new wife's daughter. DO I have a right to be upset for my children about this? |
t3_hnxme | AskReddit | How do you married redittors handle money disputes? | Just had our first money talk with my fiancé and it went horribly. Calling off the wedding is def. a possibility if we cannot work this out.
We're both Asian so supporting our parents is part of our culture.
My parents and I are fairly hard working and live very thrifty -- well below our means and have managed to build up decent savings. (My parents both worked ~60-80 hrs/wk for their entire lives while spending less than what someone on social assistance could could afford.) They have saved a ton of money for their retirement.
Her dad works about 40hrs/week and her mom doesn't work at all. They have no savings at all.
My wife to be feels that since we are going to be family, we should all live equally. She wants to give about half of our after tax income to her parents so that they can retire comfortably. Nothing going to my parents. This will basically allow them to maintain a level of spending neither I nor my parents ever experienced because she thinks it's the right thing to do.
She feels that since my parents has these savings, they don't need any help at all. I want to give them luxuries they forgo during their younger days.
In addition, she wants us to buy a big house, a nice car, and all these other things that we can't afford already, let alone afford with most of our available money going to her parents.
She doesn't intend to work once we get married, so I'll basically be looking at working 60-80hr weeks for a long time to support everyone. Just from retirement and social assistance, her parents already have more than enough to support themselves, just not in luxury.
She said she cannot compromise on this and I told her I cannot accept this arrangement. I think she will probably budge, but I'm having serious doubts about our intended marriage. I've never seen this spend-happy side of her as she's always seem so reasonable. | Fiancé wants me to give a ton of money to her parents to support her parents, but not my parents. <Asian family problems> |
t3_3wy1hx | relationships | Me [25/F] with my boyfriend [27/M] 2 years, differing opinions on my future | We have been together for 2 years, and living together for over 1 year.
I have struggled with motivation since graduating college May of 2013. I bounced around but settled with a company and have been there since August of 2014.
I know I need more schooling or some type of certification to make more money (currently at $31,000/year). I truly have no idea what route to pursue, and it's bothering him.
My biggest obstacle is my mother dying in June of this year. It has severely impacted our relationship. He started a very heated argument with me the very day it happened, and its something I cannot forget.
She was sick for over a year; it was a long process and consumed most of my time/thoughts.
Grief and depression are very foreign to him; he's never had to deal with a major death or watch someone go through it. I get up and go to work because of the bills but I have no motivation to do other things. I do go to the gym a few days a week but most of my down time when he is not around is video games, my only method of coping.
He's encouraging me very hard to make the next steps, and I am grateful. But I feel as though being under this cloud of depression trying to go back to school or getting trained for something else would be a waste, I really don't think I could focus well enough to complete anything. I'm not a fan of taking psychiatric medications (I work in mental health), I did attend a therapy session but haven't been back since.
All I want is to be happy and in a better state of mind before I take my next career step. Is that asking too much? | My boyfriend is pushing me really hard to make more money but the depression/grief of losing my mother has ruined my motivation. |
t3_3q4ta1 | relationships | I [23M] am not sure if to ask her [24F] for a long distance relationship | Hey all, first time posting here as I really don't know how I should go about handling this situation, but here goes:
I have known my crush for about a year now, but unfortunately she had moved to another country so things didn't really go that smooth. I felt we had a mutual feeling with each other within the first 2 months of talking to each other, to the point that she said something along the lines of: 'If only we lived closer then it would be great'.
We were okay with how we were until suddenly she dropped all sorts of communication for more or less 7-8 months, I'm guessing she's busy with her studies in university but that had hit me pretty hard (I couldn't forget about her entirely). But only until recently she suddenly started contacting me again and that lead to me bringing all my feelings to her and this thing starts all over again.
I told her that I will be travelling to her country around next year and she asked me if I wasn't planning to go this year. This threw me off completely and without thinking I've already booked flight tickets to see her this coming December. She seems to forgot all the things we've talked about last year and I can't seem to get my mind off her. I really want to do something that would make her happy and will create some kind of an enjoyable experience when I go and see her.
Now the main problem lies in whether I should express how I feel towards her. | Couldn't forget my crush who had moved away and went quiet for a year until recently, considering if it possible to express my feelings towards her |
t3_115hd0 | AskReddit | I was told by a Fred Meyers manager that there not a competitor of toys r us, what is something stupid that you have been told today | I went to Fred Meyers since they say they price match to online prices and toys r us is having a sale on PC games as most of us should know and the first lady told me she can't do it online. I then go to customer service and they say they do but it has to be local and the closest one was in Mt Vernon and I'm in Bellingham. I then go online and it says a local competitor is in 25 mile radius and Mt Vernon toys r us is exactly 25 miles away. So I go claim this and there like fine we will do it. I go to the electronics choose my games and they employee claims its a too low price. Go back to customer service they call out the manager bill who claims after me telling him that it says we can do it online on there website that toys r us is no longer there competitor. | If you work at Fred Meyers in Bellingham and your bill the manager I was so close to punching your face in. Also don't shop at Fred meyers ever again |
t3_ghk2y | AskReddit | Should I try and fix my mum's car or leave it to the professionals? | So my Mum has a 2002 Saab 9-3 and a while ago a knocking sound started happening. I thought it was probably the wheel bearings but she took it to the Saab Dealership and after 3k and a lot of wasted time they did absolutely nothing to fix it. All they did was some stupid tests and replace most of the fluids... which really didn't need replacing at all.
Anyway, I found out that the issue is the AC compressor, specifically the bearing(s) in it (I knew it was a bearing of some sort). I can get a new one for $325 inclusive of postage to Australia but I'm currently trying to get quotes on a second hand one through some wrecking companies.
Is it wise to try and do this myself? We're in a situation that we can't really get a mechanic to do it at the moment (You'd think the stupid fucks at the Saab Dealership would have figured out this common problem) because of.. well.. the amount of money already spent on it.
I did some Googling and it doesn't seem to be too hard. Loosen serpentine belt, replace compressor, redo belt and get it re-gassed. I'm just not sure if I can do it - My mum needs her car and so do my sister and I as we travel a good 40min each day to Uni, so it can't be out of action for more than a few days over the weekend. I'm studying engineering so I have a pretty good grasp on how engines work (I re-jetted a motorcycle last year, and rebuilt an dirtbike engine just a few months/weeks ago). I'm just wondering about any hidden trouble. I should have all the tools as well. | The AC compressor on my mum's Saab 9-3 needs replacing. Should I try it and do it myself saving shit-tons of money or leave it to someone qualified? |
t3_4ctdgg | relationships | Me [16 M] with my friend/crush [17 F] want to get into relationship with her but not sure how to proceed | We are both students at a small private school (roughly 80 kids in the grade). We've been friends for a couple of years but recently I started to like her as more than a friend.
We have been hinting at the topic when we talk for the past couple of months and we recently cleared everything up.
I told her that I liked her even thought she is dating someone right now. She said that she didn't want to date me right now since she is still with her current boyfriend. She says that she liked things the way they are right now and if we could just be friends for now.
She has always been very closed off and focuses mostly on school. Her parents don't let her date so she can't be very public with dating. She also spends an extreme amount of time on homework and doesn't have very many hobbies outside of school.
After I told her I liked her, she asked me what qualities I liked about her and I asked the same question back to her so we both shared what qualities we liked about each other. We told each other about a bunch of other personal stuff like first kiss etc.
Should I just try to make a move soon or should I just wait until next year when her current boyfriend will go to university? | I like this girl from my school and she seems to like me back but she is dating someone right now in grade 12. Does waiting till next year give us a good chance or should I make a move right now? |
t3_3ja8u4 | tifu | TIFU by being the middle child | TIFU I'm 15 and being the middle child I always got blamed for everything that goes wrong which is why I find myself outside and all.Money is an extremely big problem for me.Literally!So today I was watching a movie on the tv like always and there's always a aux cord hanging out of my speakers.I live in a gang populated area and it is really messed up here.My next door neighbour is affiliated with a gang so she has people come over once in a while.My older brother listens to songs made by the rappers in our area.This is where it went wrong we had an old blackberry sitting around and my little brother took the phone and pressed shuffle while on aux in a gang populated area .He knows I tell him not to listen to those songs at his age and I've tried deleting it numerous times.My mom knows this but my little brother wants to feel big because we have phones and listen to music so every time I try to delete the songs my moms like he's gonna end up crying .....! So today when the song was super loud and there was a party next door I was scared and quickly pulled out the power for the a/v system.I then gave my brother a little hit like it was the slightest tap and he goes screaming to my mom.My mom is already stressed because money and a lot of other reason that she gets mad at me and throws a cup towards me.I was able to quickly dodge it so the flying cup that was heavy hit the tv.Now the tv is broken and it is fairly new.Sony isn't going to offer a warranty replacement neither am I going to be replacing it because again money and it cost a lot more then getting a new one.
So now I'm here waiting for my dad who doesn't know that the living room tv is broken.
I'm going to get blamed for this obviously but hopefully it's not to bad. | Little brother playing the wrong music in a gang area and yells when I confront him ending up in a cup thrown at me leading to a broken tv. |
t3_vnlz5 | relationships | How can I tell my girlfriend that I want to explore our sex life? | Link to | I haven't been able to tell my girlfriend what I really want sexually because her ex boyfriend wanted sexual fantasies that she thought was weird and now I'm afraid she'll have the same thoughts about me. |
t3_1d6nix | relationship_advice | [16/m] I really like my friend (16/f) but I need some help | Lets just start off by saying I have very little friends, and I mean very little. I started texting this girl named Brooke about 1-2 months ago, and we have become really good friends, but the problem is is that I *really* like her... *alot*. She is the most amazing person I have ever met and we have the same sense of humor and share the same interests. I told her about how I feel about her and she said that was really sweet but she had (and still does have) a boyfriend, but we still stay friends. She has a few guy friends that I know as well but whenever me and her are around them I get really jealous and semi-depressed at the same time for some reason. Also, whenever we text (and we text alot) she sometimes doesn't reply for a while or sometimes not even at all, and I always have to text her first to start a conversation. I'm not sure if she is busy, phones dead, or she just doesn't care. And since she is the only person I text (and she texts me the most out of all of her friends), I feel really alone sometimes and it sucks. I'm having a really hard time figuring out if she likes me or not. We were talking last night at her house and she said her relationship isn't going very well and she doesn't really like him. That was the first time we hung out outside of school and we both really enjoyed it. Can you guys give me some advice to help me figure out if she likes me, or how I can deal with her not texting me all the time? Much appreciated! | I like my best friend but I need to know if she likes me back. I'm also jealous when we're around her other guy friends. |
t3_pr0x7 | AskReddit | I have an issue and need some ideas. | So we moved to this house last May. Our neighbor has always parked their car right in front of our house. My husband and I have never said anything, but lately (started about a month ago) They started parking trailers, and all 4 of their cars in front of our house. They have a 3 car garage, they keep it completely clear and park in front of our house instead. When they parked their trailer in front of our house it blocked our view from seeing traffic and made backing out of our driveway somewhat difficult. So we went over and talked to them about not parking their cars in front of our house, they moved the trailer, but kept the cars there. I've parked my car in front to discourage them and hint.I'm trying to be as nice as possible, but this is getting ridiculous. I wouldn't mind so much if they actually used their driveway and needed the extra room. Clearly this is not the case. Two of the vehicles won't move for weeks! I live in northern Cali and I don't think I can involve the police on this. No law against parking in front of neighbors house unless hazard I believe. Still unsure about the laws here. Please help me find a solution! | Neighbors park all cars in my font of my house instead of their driveway. Talked to them, and hinted as well. out of ideas. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.