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t3_vuxcu | relationships | Not sure if my gf is addicted to flashy beginnings and intense chemistry | My gf (age 23) and I (age 25) have been together for about 6 months. However, she just got frustrated that she feels like we are losing our chemistry and things aren't exciting anymore. She says she loves me more than anyone she's ever been with, but is afraid that maybe we just aren't meant for each other. I'm the first serious relationship she has had, so I think it may be she isn't used to getting past the exciting, flashy beginning part of a relationship. She recently had a connection with another guy, and was tempted to cheat on me, but didn't and told me about it immediately, and felt absolutely terrible. I feel like that connection is still in her psyche and has driven her to missing the excitement of a new relationship. She's smart enough to realize that those connections aren't a real basis for a relationship, and she knows I am much more than that. But how do I help her cope with missing that excitement? I can't keep it enthralling all the time, and we are long distance, so it makes that especially hard. She says she's very torn because I am not her usual "type" which she is trying to get away with because her usual "type" is not good for her. So she's struggling to go back to the one night stands and getting affirmation from instant connections with random guys. It's pretty damaging to my self esteem, too, and has made me think that maybe she is right and we aren't right for each other. I don't know what to do. | My gf doesn't feel like we have a connection anymore and I don't know if it's because she's not used to serious relationships, and I don't know how to deal with it. |
t3_2zle6j | tifu | TIFU By jumping out of my own car while parking in my own driveway. | This happened nearly 6 years ago on my first drive by myself at night. I drove a 2006 Honda Civic at the time.
I had just come back home from my first night driving alone. No incidents, no close calls, everything was just fine and dandy. I turn into my driveway, park, turn the ignition off and take my foot off the break. I figured. "Hey you did it, good job! You can drive alone no problem!"
Anyway, I quickly unlock the door, open the door with my right hand still on the keys in the ignition. The keys wouldn't come out and were "locked"... All of a sudden my car starts rolling back in reverse slowly as I have one foot out the door and am in an awkward position. I panicked and jumped out of the car thinking, "Holy shit... I'm going to die since my car is malfunctioning".
I rolled onto the grass of my front lawn and sprint to my front door.
I'm frantically screaming and banging on my front door panicking to my parents that the car is rolling out the drive way onto the street.... Remember, the keys are still in the ignition... I couldn't unlock the front door.
My Mom panics and runs out the door like a deranged woman.
Luckily no one was coming down the street at the time (a busy side-street). She managed to jump in the car and put the foot on the break and put the car in PARK...The car at this point was in the middle of the street.
I had tried to park the car in neutral... | I tried to park my car in neutral, jumped out of it cause I thought it was malfunctioning and it was rolling in reverse. My mom came in and saved the day. No one got hurt. |
t3_3kgvt1 | relationships | Me [19 M] and my girlfriend [18 F] of 1 year, are going to uni and I want to break it off | I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the line I realised that I stopped loving my girlfriend. She has done nothing but love me and be perfect for me - better than any girlfriend I have ever had before, and yet I can't help but feel that I'm no longer in love with her.
When she tells me she loves me I feel like I'm lying when I say it back. I use to feel the words in my chest, because of the love I felt but now I feel nothing. I feel less and less willing to spend time with her and I have become a lot less supportive and much more critical of her and the things she does.
We're both off to University soon and I'd like to see other people and have a bit of freedom in my life, but I can't bare the thought of her crying over me. She says we're soul mates and that we're destined to be, and I felt like that too at one point, but now I can't feel anything.
I'm not sure whether my lack of affection for her is due to my own personal issues, relationship incompatibility or just my personal want for change and freedom.
I hate the idea of being locked down at my age, I don't want to settle down with someone so soon, I want to have fun and experience all that life has to offer and I feel as though being in a relationship will hold me back.
I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for this, the person who does the breaking up doesn't usually deserve sympathy. I'm just too much of a coward to break up with her because I know how much I will upset her.
Are there any ways for me to break it easy to her that I've fallen out of love?
I want to make it transparent to her that she never did anything wrong and that she deserves someone who can love her better than I can. | Love life faded, I want freedom and to experience uni life on my own. How can I break it to my GF without making her hate me? |
t3_2z44wl | relationship_advice | (20/m) trying to get a date with (25/f) | Just a little background to the situation...
About a month ago I was at work and the guys sent me out to get some parts. I rock up to the store and see this gorgeous lady who proceeds to serve me and then help me find the right parts. As we are looking for parts we get to chat and flirt a little bit and I asked her out but she takes a raincheck saying she had just gotten over a relationship but takes my number anyway.
I decided to send her some roses, but didn't really get a reply back from her. Luckily I was sent there the next week to get some more parts to which she explained she had lost my number (she shares a desk with her co workers) and she loved the roses and she took my card this time.
So a week and a bit go by and I don't hear anything from her (no biggie happens all the time). This Friday I get a text from her " Hi Krita1, Have a wonderful Friday! Beautiful gas girl"
So this can only be a good thing right? Well we text a bit over the next 2 days and she seems like a pleasant lady. I ask if she isn't to busy if she would like to meet for a drink and some food next weekend, something casual (like she was wanting) But she said she was busy which is understandable.
I then asked what a good time for her would be and she replied
" lets just play it by the ear :)" I haven't really quite heard that before but anyway that's where im at.
Im pretty shit at understanding girls so yeh. It sounds like she is interested but I would of thought saving a date would be ok even if it was next weekend or the one after. | Trying to wow a random girl, gave her my number and heard from her in the next fornight, sounds interested but isn't willing to commit to a date just yet? |
t3_1cz30b | AskReddit | Redditors how do you put up with constant rejection? | Just recently a girl told me how she had feelings for me after I told her months before. We agreed to meet up, she got sick and we couldn't. When I tried to organize a second she told me how her feelings were her forcing them upon herself to make me happy. This is probably the third time this has happened to me and I'm beginning to feel I'm not going to find a long term partner which is very depressing.
In short my question is, people in similar situations as me did you get out of your downward spiral? If so please tell us about it, if not tell us and I'm sure the lovely community of reddit will give you some kind words. | long build up, girl told me she liked me, backed down, has happened before,feeling really depressed right now |
t3_1kz7e3 | offmychest | I need to go. | I have that pulling feeling where I'm being drawn to somewhere else. It feels like my time here is done. I've been in this city for a year and a half and haven't really gotten anywhere in my life. I've gone through a lot of bad and good things with my time spent here, and I have opportunities here that I'm not sure I could get elsewhere, but elsewhere I'm sure I could make it work regardless.
Things between me and my friend have gone very sour. He wants me out, and, well, quite frankly, I really want to get out, but I am just so afraid. The only way I could leave when I'm more ready is by a long process of acquiring work, saving up money, and moving into my own place, but the way things have been between me and my friend, elongating my stay here would make this a more toxic environment for the both of us. I just want to cut ties with them and move on, but I'm so wracked with this intense fear.
The other option is to just... jump ship and leave, almost immediately, and this option is rather terrifying as well.
I don't want to and do want to leave this place. I'm attached to this city because this city has become my home. I know where I'd move to, and it's somewhat of a familiar place - somewhere I've visited before - but it's still frightening because this is the longest I've stayed in one city in the 5 years that I've moved around.
I don't want to say goodbye to the two people I've come to know here. I don't want to say goodbye to the city that I've settled myself into and have called my home. This is a hard chapter in my life. I don't know what to do. | Environment with my friend has become toxic. Staying for longer will increase toxicity and make things exceptionally miserable. Hard to leave because I'm attached to the city because I feel like the city is my home. |
t3_ja0oh | loseit | Hey r/loseit, I'm committing to a plan, and I'd like someone to know. Offer me your calorie cutting wisdom. | So, I guess I'm pretty typical. My weight is not a huge problem, and it doesn't hinder me in any way. I just feel lazy and gross and huge. Since Oct 2010 I have gained about 30 pounds, from a mixture of birth control, anxiety meds, and a new job environment. I always thought I had really strong will and self control, but it occurs to me now that I only eat well when other poor choices are unavailable. I'm going to be 25 next month, and I run the kitchen of a homeless shelter, where (depressingly) there are ALWAYS cookies, donuts, candy etc. 80 percent of my weight gain is in my stomach and my thighs, and my stretch marks are ridiculous. I've been telling myself for two months that I'm going to commit to getting more fit, and so far I've had no motivation. Today, I developed a plan for myself for healthy eating and daily exercise and I'm going to try my best to lose these extra 30 pounds by New Years. What are your best tips and tricks to keep resolve strong, and keep yourself commited?
Also, I'm an excellent cook, and studied food and nutrition in college so healthy dinners are never my problem, it's usually breakfast and snacks that trip me up, as well as eating out. | I want to lose 30 pounds, I'm a good cook, and I know how to eat healthfully, what are your tips, tricks and cheats to keep yourself going and losing weight? |
t3_4yabal | relationships | Me [24 F] with my Boyfriend [24 M] of 4+ years, feeling left out and not sure if I should be annoyed. | I'm fudging some of the details because my boyfriend reads reddit.
I have recently moved to a new city for my boyfriend's school (he did the same for me, we're trading off). I've been here two full days. We have a female roommate that he used to work with, and they're in the same post-grad program. Tonight, he and she were meeting someone who has been through their program for drinks, a meeting arranged by a mutual friend of theirs. They left around 6. I didn't think it was weird that I wasn't invited, of course, it's them meeting with someone to go over stuff about school, the program, strategies, etc. It's now midnight, and I've gotten two snapchats of the three of them strolling along cool city landmarks, playing games in bars, etc.
I feel kind of left out. Not that my boyfriend and I always have to hang out - we've always had a healthy amount of separate hobbies and friendships, but usually we do like to hang out. Seems like it turned into a fun night in the city, when it was originally a more professional networking thing. I feel lonely and don't know why I wasn't invited when it became a night out. I'm looking up meetup groups to join, and I know I'll have my own friends. I just feel like the un-fun girlfriend left at home. Add it to the fact that I've begged my boyfriend to go out with me and my friends like this (bars, fun, games), and he always refuses. Should I say anything? I know it's not a big deal, just not sure if this is even worth bringing up. | Second night in new city. Boyfriend and friend go out for a meeting with a school contact. Turns into drunk fun night, and I'm feeling left out at home. |
t3_2hzdzw | relationships | I (M27) Have Met A Great Girl (24) I Would Love to Keep Seeing After My Two Week Trip Overseas. How Do I Keep Things Alive And Well While I Am Gone? How Do I Keep Her Interested? | So, I (27) have finally found this great girl (24) I would really love to keep seeing. We met online and have gone on *3 great dates* recently, the *fourth coming this Saturday* with some afternoon apple picking and dinner. This girl meets a lot of the criteria I have always been looking for. She has a good job and supports herself, values her family, takes care of herself and is of course, beautiful inside and out.. etc etc. We seem to have had some great chemistry on these first three dates.
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My concern is that I leave the country in 13 days for a 2 week trip overseas. How do keep this great thing alive and well while I am gone? My guess is that I'll have a chance to go on 2-3 more dates with this girl before I leave. I haven't really put any of "the moves" on this girl, out of fear I might screw things up (dumb reasoning, I know).
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What can I do and say before I leave the country? What can I do while I am gone? Do I tell her how much I like her before I leave? Is Skype/facetime an option while I'm gone? | I've met a great girl that I'd love to keep seeing after my two week trip overseas. How do I keep things alive and well while I am gone? How do I keep her interested? |
t3_4iqvwq | relationships | My [22 M] roommate [23 M] is so messy it's driving me insane, unsure of how to proceed | I currently live with my roommate in an apartment together since about December of last year. At first it was fine, I've known him for 5 - 6 years and we played a lot of online games together, so when we both decided to move out of our parents' it seemed like a logical choice to get an apartment together.
Fast forward to now. There are dishes and bowls in the sink that have been in there for months, covered in mold. There are week old pizza boxes strewn about tables and couches, and a smell I can only describe as evil continually emanates from his room.
I haven't seen the dude for almost a week now, and it's not a case of our schedules not lining up because he quit his job shortly after moving in with me. He's been getting money from his parents to live (if you can call this living) and plays games all day long into the night. I looked into his room one day and he doesn't even have sheets on his mattress, and his cat (the poor thing) has just been pooping on the floor.
I've told him multiple times to clean his mess, take out the trash, do the dishes, etc. He always laughs at me like I'm somehow not being serious, and doesn't do what I ask of him. He'll say things like "what are you my mom?"
I don't know what to do. I want to move out, I'm sick and tired of living in a pigsty, unable to bring people over, and everything having a slight smell of mildew. I was thinking of maybe telling his parents, seeing if they'd cut him off. They have a history of trying to get him to do things around the house to no avail. I don't know if it's possible to break my lease, and there's no way in hell I'll find a replacement to live in that mess. There's no way I'm staying here, but I'd rather not pay hundreds of dollars a month for a place I'm not even using. The apartment complex recently added an addendum to the lease but they didn't ask me to sign it, I wonder if there's any way I could use that as an out. | Messy roommate driving me up the wall, I don't want to live here anymore as long as I live in a dumpster. Can I somehow get him to change, get him kicked out, or break out of my lease? |
t3_1jurfq | tifu | TIFU by pissing my pants | Not today, but a memory from back in 9th grade.
It's the very end of the day, and I haven't peed all day. I think to myself, "Oh, I'll just wait until the class ends." 20 minutes later, I have to go BAD. "Ok, ok, I'll just ask when the professor stops talking." NOPE. This guy wouldn't shut the fuck up. Right then and there it started. I just couldn't hold it in. Urine was pouring out of my shorts. Half way through, the professor noticed me and I stuttered, "C-ccan I go to the bathroom?" "Uhhh sure." Class is totally silent, all staring at me. Run to the bathroom, piss everywhere. End up changing into my P.E uniform. When I come back in, I announce, "Don't worry, it was just water!" While carrying my empty water bottle. The kid sitting next to now exclaims, "THEN WHY IS IT YELLOW, DUMBASS?" Entire class laughs, proceeds to tell majority of high school. I ended up switching schools the next week. | Had to go to the bathroom, professor won't shut up, piss pants, try to tell everyone it's water. Kid sitting next to me proves me wrong. High schoolers are cruel. |
t3_umtmz | AskReddit | Teachers on Reddit: Are you able to analyze the handwriting of your students to determine characteristics and/or effectively predict their outcomes in society? | I have been working in the land acquisition and management industry for some time and have met with a large number of landowners to acquire legal documents. I find I can match a lot of characteristics of people with their handwriting now. When I meet a landowner for the first time, I can usually predict what their signature will look like before they sign anything, just based on personality, profession, disposition, etc. As a teacher who sees a large number of students over the years, are you able to predict a child's future social characteristics, or identify personality traits based on handwriting? | Teachers see a lot of handwriting. Can you tell more about your student or make future predictions based on their handwriting. |
t3_z72rr | offmychest | Help my boyfriend and I settle the ultimate battle of the sexes. | My boyfriend has had this lamp for ten years. It's an antique and there is an identical one in the KFC museum. I think it's the ugliest lamp I've ever seen and I refuse to look at it every day. What do you think? I know every man has that one really gross thing that a woman forces him to get rid of, but I can't handle this. I've even offered to make it into a DIY vase project, or we could sell it and probably make more money to buy things we actually need for our new home. We're keeping a tally of the votes and letting other votes be the final judge. | My boyfriends KFC lamp is ugly and I don't want it. Send in a vote to keep it or sell/DIY it. We're tallying them up for the ultimate decision. |
t3_2trivx | relationships | Me [27 F] with my Husband [27 M] married 5 years/ together 9, are splitting. But we're living together for about a year until most debts are paid off. | My husband and I got married pretty damn young (22). We're really great teammates, had no problems financially, but sucked as far as actually being compatible goes: have no shared interests or goals. He didn't even get along with my family, a big component of my life, which always caused stress.
Now, after working on the relationship for the past year, we finally realized we're both not in-love with each other and want out. We just don't want the same things in life, we both lost ourselves in the marriage and became shells of our former selves, did everything together, etc.
Since we're on the same page, we're going to split assets (we have a house), but first we want to pay off debt (credit/otherwise) so that we both have a fighting chance out in the world alone. He'd refinance the house under his name (because I don't want it) and buy me out so I can go and purchase real estate elsewhere.
I'm a little apprehensive about living together for about a year though. We don't hate each other, we actually both love/care about each other and want us both to succeed. We won't be dating other people, but we're going to start going out separately with our own friends and enjoy life.
How likely is it that we might end up hating each other because we're still living together? I want him to be happy; he wants me to be happy.
He's going to even help me shop for a place and move out when the time comes. | Husband and I mutually split, but are going to live together for a year to help pay off debt so we both have a fighting chance at life. Will we end up hating each other? |
t3_10xudo | AskReddit | It seems like in the past decade or so I have heard of new conditions/allergies I've have never heard of before. Redditors, do you think these conditions always existed and people just went undiagnosed or it has developed over time because of our diets and/or lifestyle changes? | Nowadays it seems like everyone has been diagnosed with something and in the past decade or so I have heard of new conditions/allergies I've have never heard of before. Redditors, do you think these conditions always existed & people just went undiagnosed or it has developed over time because of our diets and/or lifestyle changes?
I remember when I was little never hearing about anyone having a gluten allergy, peanut allergy, autism etc (even though Im sure they existed.. Im not denying that they didnt exist). But I feel like nowadays everywhere you turn, these are constant things being talked about and every little kid has been diagnosed with something..
My friend made cupcakes for a little kids birthday party this past weekend but couldn't stay because she had to go to work. A few hours later she receives a call from a father at the party (a complete stranger, mind you) to make sure there wasn't any "traces of peanuts" in the cupcakes because his daughter is highly allergic. My friend had to list everything she put in them just to ease his mind. Even when I go get coffee in the morning there is a sign that says "Most of our products contain traces of peanuts" at the store or signs that say "we offer gluten free products."
So Redditors, Do you think that these conditions has always existed and people just went undiagnosed for a long time or that our diets and lifestyle changes brought upon these allergies/conditions? | People have gluten/ nut allergies, autism etc.. Have they always existed or has our diet/lifestyle changes contributed to developing these allergies/conditions? |
t3_24uau8 | relationships | Does my male friend [30m] have romantic intentions with me [26f]? Update: The answer was yes. | Me being [dense](
I didn't ask John until today, over lunch.
John came to pick me up from work at 12. I was starting to see where people were like "duh he likes you." It was pretty obvious, but past mistakes have made me a cautious girl.
So John (30m) took me out to eat and I just let it out between bites.
I told him I wanted to ask a really stupid question.
He said okay, shoot.
I said, "You bought me expensive candy... do you like me as more than friend?"
He looked at me and started laughing. I thought he was going to mock me, but he just said, "Jenny was right about you being dense when it comes to men. I have been hinting about liking you for *months* now."
He then asked me on a proper date to see a festival on Saturday. I agreed. When he took me home, he kissed me on the cheek, walked me up to the door, and said he was so glad we were on the same page now.
He asked what flowers I liked, when I said anything really, he said, "Liar. I know you like wildflowers." I guess he had been listening, but heck any flowers are great (unless they are poisonous.)
So he said he would bring me wild flowers. Which is a first.
I then got a call from Jenny, where she told me I was the densest woman she had ever been friends with, but I should wear the blue dress. I guess John likes it or something.
I just feel stupid for not trusting my gut.
He texted me when he got home saying all the fake dates have been better than any real one he has been on. And for me to have a wonderful night.
Thanks again for the help, best of luck to all of you. :) | You were right, he does like me. Going on a "proper" date next Saturday. I am really excited. |
t3_xawjd | AskReddit | A coworker and I just got ripped off by a company who collects scrap metal. What industries will you never participate in now that you know what a sham they are? | Here's the story: I work at a sub sandwich shop and we got a new oven this week. My boss and I took the old oven to a scrap yard and were quoted on the phone that they were paying $.58/lb for non-ferrous stainless steel. We get there, weigh it out (the oven weighed 560 lbs.) and expected to get about $300. Our owners wanted $.20/lb so we figured we'd be able to split about $75-100 going into it. Turns out that the oven was slated by the scrap company to be shred scrap metal as opposed to non-ferrous stainless steel (which seemed to make up most of the oven). Shred pays $150/net ton so we ended up with $42 total. This barely covered gas to get there and lunch, let alone the time and work we put in. Plus, it's not like we were going to load it back up and take it somewhere else on the assumption we'd get about the same price for it. | We got paid $42 for a 560 lb stainless steel oven at a scrap yard, when I'm pretty sure that they'd have paid us more for the same weight in aluminum cans. |
t3_2dwyx2 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] 3 years, expects me to live with him when I go to uni. Not ready and would compromise relationship with family. | My lovely, considerate boyfriend of 3 years, who I unconditionally love and see myself spending the rest of my life with, is pressurizing me to move in with him in 3-4 weeks when I go to uni to do medicine.
He is currently full time employed, sustaining himself fully in a 2 bedroom apartment a few miles away from my university. He would let me stay for just a less than market price rent cost. He also has a car and has offered to drive me anywhere I want. The alternative would be university dorms.
I want to live in dorms because I want to make good friends in my (all girl) dorm and I want to have the experience of living with others before I 'settle down'.
I don't feel ready for this move at the moment but I do love him and see this happening eventually (2-3 years). He says that 2-3 years is an extremely long time and he is concerned about my commitment level.
My family are very conservative and would be outraged by this choice. I love my family and I don't feel at all ready to live with my boyfriend. The obvious choice is to tell him this, right?
I have told him, over and over. He is in complete denial about the practicality and the impact it would have on my studies. He is even threatening to approach my family about it.
How can I explain to him that no, I do not want to live with him, but yes I still love him madly. I don't want to elope or anything but I would still like to show him that I love him a lot and am fully committed:) We have talked about a compromise comprising of weekly sleepovers, maybe 2-3 times a week but he is still unable to understand why I wouldn't want to live with him. | Feel it is too early and I am too young to live with boyfriend. How can I help him understand my viewpoint and my commitment? |
t3_4a5z93 | relationship_advice | I [23 F] Fed up with my boyfriend [23/M] going out and not doing anything in his life while I try to tackle graduate school | I feel like I am being crazy and irrational, but I am currently in medical school and have been dating this guy for a little over a year. I am really struggling in school, so we only get to see each other once every few weeks. He seems ok with this and says he understands. He is finishing up college and seems to only want to party. This really bothers me considering I am stuck at home with my nose in the books and he is out getting drunk, and probably meeting other girls. I requested that he not go out (only to bars) because it really bothers me, and I know that it is my issue, but I can't continue in a relationship with that going on. I want him to see his friends, just not that one thing. It really upsets me. He lies to me about going out. When he does tell me about him going out, he tries to minimize it saying he's only watching the game with the guys and then I see a snapchat of him fucked up. Last week we had a problem where he was forcing me to make out with him by holding my head in place while we were kissing and not letting me pull back. I thought he was a really nice guy, and he used to bring me flowers and be super sensitive to me and everything, but now I am not so sure about him. We have talked about this stuff and I literally do not mind him doing anything else with his friends its just when he is at a bar I get really hurt by that. It also makes me resent the fact that he has no plans after school, and I am sitting here busting my ass trying to get my life together. Is it time to end it reddit? I am starting to think that it is... but it makes me really sad that going to the bar was more important to him than what we had together. At the same time, I can understand because I am unable to be in his life as much as I used to be aka barely at all. When we have problems he also just gives an "I'm sorry" then goes silent mode until he's decided it has blown over. That really bothers me too. | I am super tied up with school. My boyfriend wants to go out to bars, and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. He knows it does, but does it any way and makes excuses. |
t3_3w2ddn | Parenting | Parents with autistic children- can you share any resources that has helped your child socially with me? I am mainly interested in videos about social skills but anything is good. :) | Hi all :) I spent hours scouring YouTube with my son the other night after he behaved inappropriately after losing a game. It was meant to be one quick clip about being a bad sport, but it turned into hours. We watched short clips about how to be polite, what impulsiveness is, how to behave in certain situations, how to accept no for an answer etc. (I can provide links if any one is interested- we watched so many)
After each video we would talk about it, we would discuss what they were teaching in th video and he would tell me what he learnt and we would practise. It. Actually. Stuck. I have noticed he has been using different language and has been trying really hard to improve certain behaviours that he learnt about in the videos.
However we hit a brick wall when I tried to find a video about body language, personal space, social cues, how to tell what emotion people were feeling etc. I am sure stuff like this exist. How do I find it? How do you teach your child about these things? Do you have any resources you could share with me? Or even how to explain these things to him?
It's worth noting I have pretty shitty social skills myself and was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I know that I have shit social skills and it's not just me being anxious because people have made alot of comments that imply this. -I don't think I have the skills to teach him myself without a outside resource.
He doesnt see a therapist at the moment (he is 5). And no one else in his life (kindergarten teacher included) recongises my concerns and agrees with them. But I have bought it up with his teacher for next year and I will see what she thinks. He may just have very poor social skills that need working on. Anyway, I digress. The internet is the only way for me to find resurces to help him :)
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. And thank you if you took the time to reply to me. | my son learns very well from videos and needs to improve on his social skills. I suspect he is autistic. Do you have any resources you could share? |
t3_ugpit | relationships | Need serious personal advice on me and my problem with relationships. (Independent 19 y.o.) | Hey Guys, 19M here and I've been single my entire life (up until last week). I've known the girl I am seeing right now for 8 months and she is amazing: cute, funny, nerdy, smart etc etc but I have problems of my own: I just can't put my feelings into a relationship.
I cared and really really liked her at first, but now it almost seems like texting her is a *drag*. I'll pretend to go to sleep because I don't want to text and just enjoy my time. But it's not just her, I personally *loathe* texting people all the time. But when I go home to see her (long-distance relationship), I just don't have it in me. I'm tired and would rather see friends i've know my whole life than see her.
This problem has happened to me numerous times: I will really like a girl, treat her right and get to the relationship point, but then I lose all interest. Like absolutely all. In fact, all I really want is to be able to spend time as I choose and not *feel obligated to text and hangout with her*. This feeling of forced hanging out (even if it is once every 2 weeks) is getting me down, and it just doesn't feel right.
Is there something wrong with me? Cause there's nothing wrong with these girls and I feel extremely guilty, as though i'm consciously playing with them for no reason. I just want to be able to spend my time and feelings as I choose, and not be obligated into anything. And it's really complicated because we have many mutual friends and I just don't feel the same way she does when she tells me her feelings. | Need serious advice: Lose interest in girl after she gets feelings for me, because of my feelings about freedom. This happens alot. |
t3_442oxq | tifu | TIFU by skiving a lesson | Okay so long story short I made a reddit to post this so yea.
This morning, as every other Wednesday I meet my friend in town and we walk to school together. He asks if I wanna skip the first lesson because he has homework that he hasn't done for it and dumbass me says 'yea sure'.
And hour and a Maccies trip later we're walking to school and my stepdad decides to drive down the one road we happened to be on.. So we're like damn what we gonna do now?
We turn up at school at break, as previously arranged and are fronted with mine& his parents waiting for us, and 5 different teachers. By this point we're shitting it and I say stupidly 'I uh had a panic attack on my way to school and didn't know what to do(i have really bad anxiety in all fairness). | We get caught, get out of all trouble but now I have to go to therapy (which probably isn't a bad thing but oh well). |
t3_368kzs | tifu | TIFU by getting to excited. (not in a sexual way) | Ok so its a Saturday night just got off work about to meet up with my bros and hit the bars. A good friend of ours just got out of boot camp so he came into town and I love hanging out with him (lets call him jhon) me and jhon shit talk each other all the time as do all of our other friends. So drunk me and jhon shit talking all night after not seeing each other for at least 5 months is going to be awesome just like the good ole days. So I'm all excited just worked 12am-10pm im tired but who gives a shit im young. In my excitement to change and meet up with my boys I place my wallet as well as a few other things on my roof keys , phone, etc. I finish changing grab everything and head over. I get to the house were meeting up at and I realized I hadn't eaten yet and I need food before I drink. So me and my other friend "mark" go get some pizza. Upon getting ready to pay for the pizza I reach for my wallet and realize its not there. I search my car not there ether then it hit me. I didn't grab my wallet from off the roof of my car! So I spent the next hour looking all up and down the road and parking lot looking for my wallet but to no avail. My wallet had every thing in it from my debit card to my SSC. So after all that searching I have to go home cause I have barely any gas and no ID to get into the bars. But its no over yet, paranoid that all my hard earned money is going to vanish I try to log in to my account online only to find out its down for maintenance. So here I am typing up my TIFU hoping and prying that my money isn't gone. | Placed wallet on top of car to change so I could go to the bars, drove off with wallet still on roof. |
t3_c60nc | AskReddit | Homosexual friend in denial getting violent. Need advice! | This is a tough one. Have a friend, since high school we've always felt that he had homosexual leanings. Not a damn thing wrong with that. But every time a typical high school "gay joke" was made, he would usually react violently. Even to his close friends. There came a point where it was realized that this guy is gonna need to work through his own shit at some point.
Recently, this friend has gone off the deep end. Supposedly went back to a house with a few gay gentlemen, partied nude in a hot tub with them, and slept over with the owner of the house. He was most assuredly drunk.
**Upon awaking in bed with another man, he proceeds to *beat the shit out the home owner.* Owner calls sheriff. Friend claims rape. This is in a relatively conservative town where the Sheriff "don't take too kindly to no gays rapin' people."**
It wasn't rape, obviously.
Recently I ran into this friend at a bar, he was pretty drunk. He pulls me aside with a terrified look in his face saying "Help me man, I need help!"
I go into concerned mode, and ask him whats up. "This gay guy keeps stalking me, he followed me to the bathroom..."
I ask what it is I can do, if anything.
He says "Go beat the shit out of him."
I foresee more of these events coming down the line. Has anyone had a similar situation? What the fuck should I do, other than just stay the fuck out of it? I would do this without question if it weren't for the violence.
I just want the guy to be happy, and he should know by now that his friends will support him, and a few of us have told him as such. And been met with threats of violence... sigh.
Halp me reddit, you're... well you're not my only hope but you're a good place to start. | Friend is gay, or bi, and can't admit it to himself. Has recently gotten extremely violent because of it. |
t3_3muyz3 | tifu | TIFU by shooting a rabbit that has been destroying my mom's garden. | This happened to me five years ago when I was in high school.
My mom is an avid gardener and a rabbit has been doing some serious damage to her garden. I honestly don't care about the garden, but she complained so much about it that I needed to kill the rabbit for my own sake.
So I wake up early one morning around rabbit breakfast time to get a shot at the critter. I see the rabbit munching on some flowers and take a shot. I see the rabbit go down through the scope and run up to put the poor creature out of it's misery in case it's still alive. I get close to it and sure enough the rabbit is still alive. I hit it in the neck and it seems to be unable to move but is gasping for air. I'm using an air rifle that only holds one pellet at a time, so I pump the rifle up and put another pellet in.
As I begin to move the muzzle to the rabbit's head the worst thing possible happens. This rabbit was pregnant, and she starts giving birth. I stood there completely dumbstruck while these little baby rabbits kept popping out. I had no idea what to do. After she finished giving birth I put her out of her misery and wondered wtf I was going to do with all the little rabbits. I figured they were as good as dead without a mother to nurse them. I didn't have enough pellets to shoot them all and I grabbed a shovel and smashed them. I tried to make sure they didn't suffer. I've never felt like a shittier person in my life. | TIFU by shooting a rabbit that proceeded to give birth and then I murdered all the little rabbits with a shovel. |
t3_jetah | AskReddit | Should my 24-year-old friend lose his virginity to a random hookup/friend? | My 24-year-old friend is in a rush against time to lose his virginity, and I'm trying to tell him why he shouldn't rush and instead wait to lose it within the security of a relationship. Here is some background info, which may be a little biased (I'll re-clarify later if he has any objections):
A little bit over a year ago, he was seeing a girl named "Amy" that was more experienced than him. She was very patient with him at first. They would sleep like chopsticks next to each other, and that was the extent of their physical contact. They dissolved after about a month due to, which he believes, his lack of desire to further progress in physical contact.
After this, some girls offer him to give him his first kiss, and shortly thereafter he begins a spree of drinking and trying to find girls to hit on or make out with. Granted, my friend is very outgoing and sociable, he has no problem talking to anyone on the street. He just has never had a real girlfriend or had sex, but he*'s told two people* ~~tells people~~ that Amy was a serious relationship he had when he was 18 that he was hurt by and tells people that he's "banged tons of bitches." He's had mixed success with his technique of kissing while drunk. He sometimes finds new friends to do it with or people at the club. He also sometimes finds dates that don't lead really lead anywhere.
He recently thought he was going to have the opportunity to have sex, but I did not think he was ready. He is still unsure about how to kiss and seems to be confused about getting emotionally involved and wanting to seem like he wants to "have fun" and "bang tons of bitches," so I tried to send him previous reddit threads about losing virginity, but they were about 18 year olds so really not effective. Thankfully, he did not have sex that night.
Please reddit, what do you think? Should my friend be in a rush to lose it to an acquaintance? | see question: friend in rush to lose virginity but doesn't really quite know how to kiss yet and really hates/is scared of his great deal of rejection by girls (sorry, friend, if you hate me right now) |
t3_15vn2e | Parenting | I wasn't sure where to post this question about my godson's behavior, could you all help? | Hello parents of reddit. As the title states, I wasn't sure where to post this question, if you feel it should be in a different subreddit I would appreciate direction.
I'm a single female in my twenties with an adorable godson ("Nolan") who is going to be 2 years old next month. He's a pretty typical toddler, adorable when he wants to be and an absolute terror when he doesn't get what he wants.
The question I have is about Nolan's response to girls. He has an older sister who is in the second grade and is often at school. His mom works and his dad mostly stays at home with him, but works part time. When his dad is at work, their "man-ny" ("Jason") comes to watch him.
Jason and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things for personal reasons and I'm hoping my concern isn't coming from just disliking Jason, but it might be.
Nolan has started to show definite dislike to all girls. When a girl asks for a hug he'll scream and try to find another boy or one of his parents. He very nearly ignores his sister completely. Even tonight when I went over to visit with my brother, I asked Nolan for a kiss bye-bye and he instead insisted on giving one to my brother and not me. He's even taking to screaming at his mother and calling her stinky.
All this to say that his parents and I are hoping to try and do something to influence him to a more balanced view on girls. Or to at least stop hitting and kicking them. Do you all have any advice? Or a more appropriate subreddit? (Again, sorry if this is the wrong place) | 2y-o godson hates girls. His male babysitter is arrogant. Is there anything his parents or I can do to help the situation? |
t3_lx7qs | AskReddit | Good cheap ways to find person stealing our food? | Basically, someone is stealing our food. There's 4 of us living in the apartment, and the only suspect there is our 4th roommate that we barely ever see. But he seems like a really nice easy going guy so we don't suspect him. That leaves our friends who are coming in and out of our apartment. It's kinda a Seinfeld scenario where people will just come busting in. And occasionally we will forget to lock the door when we leave, and by occasionally I mean pretty often, and this is probably when they steal our food. We already caught one friend taking seasonings and stuff without asking so he's our primary suspect.
Anyway, any suggestions on how to catch the guy? Locking the door is the main solution of course, but we kinda wanna know who did it so we can have closure. So any booby trap ideas, or cheap spy equipment suggestions would be awesome. | Someone is stealing our food and we want to catch him. Suggestions on booby traps or cheap spy equipment? |
t3_2mp3a5 | relationships | I [24 M] am thinking of stop dating someone [21 F] because she does not believe in taking birth control and has said that if she got pregnant she would keep the baby | So I started dating this one girl about 2 months ago. It wasn't anything really serious at first, and more of a physical thing but over time we definitely developed feelings for one another. Typically I bring up the conversation of what would happen in the case of pregnancy, but this time I never exactly felt the need (very stupid I know). However there was a bit of a scare in the past couple days where we were having sex and the condom slipped off resulting in me telling her to take plan b.
She wasn't too keen on the idea however she did so without any hesitation. I was a little concerned about what her initial reaction here was so I asked her what her thoughts on abortion were and she told me that she's pro-choice but would want to keep a baby if she were to get pregnant with someone she chose to have sex with.
This leaves me in a weird situation, where I feel as though that would be such a large burden to hold on to, but I really do get along with her in a way I never have before with another person. What do you think I should do? | Woman I'm dating said that if she got pregnant despite our condom use she would keep the baby. I feel like ending the dating phase with her is in order here. Thoughts? |
t3_2tuu7c | jobs | My MA program has a weird timeline-when should I apply for jobs/internships? | Hi everyone!
I'm currently getting my Masters at University College London, and I am set to graduate in September. My last meetings with my profs regarding dissertations and exams are in early June, and the time between those meetings and my graduation is intended for the completion of a dissertation.
Even though I love London, I would prefer to work in my home country (USA). I understand that a lot of entry level jobs begin in May/June due to American undergrads finishing up around then. Since I am allowed to return home to work on my dissertation, I also thought it would be to my advantage to start working sooner rather than later.
I have been applying for jobs under the assumption that I could theoretically start an internship or a job in June. As a result, I have had a few interviews, but not much else. I have a suspicion that my weird timeline confuses employers, so I get rejected.
So what should I do? Should I continue applying for jobs and assume to start work/internship in June, or should I wait until my degree is closer to completion and potentially risk losing out on entry level job positions? | Should I continue applying for jobs to start in June, when I return to the United States, or should I wait a while longer to start in September, when I graduate from University College London? |
t3_4to70o | relationships | Girlfriend [20F] says she loves me [21M] but isn't sure about our relationship | We are on summer break from college and have been long distant for about two months. Everything was great until a few weeks ago when she became a bit more distant (one word answers, lower frequency etc.) I confronted her yesterday and she says "feels weird about stuff" and doesn't know what to think when I asked her whether things have changed. She says she still loves me but just doesn't know. What do I do? I don't want to be dragged along by a girl who doesn't really have feelings for me. She visits me in three weeks and then we return to college in about six weeks. | Temporarily long distance girlfriend says she "doesn't know" about our relationship but still loves me, has been distant for about two weeks. Don't know how to read it... |
t3_4c8kuj | jobs | How to write a resignation letter? | I found a new job and I'm quitting the old. New job has actually been letting me work part-time despite wanting me full-time for a while now, so I could get my paid time off scheduled from old job since old job doesn't pay that out to me when I quit.
I was going to give old job two weeks' notice, but they've been screwing around with my schedule and otherwise treating me terribly. They don't know I have another job lined up or that I'm thinking about quitting, but they should know that I'm not happy as I've said as much on multiple occasions in different ways about different things (including but not limited to, "Fuck this place" and "Omg, I hate this place so much." Idk how it gets clearer than that. :P)
Anyway, today was the last day that I worked before my paid time off. I go in again on Friday. I had more paid time off coming to me, but my family is getting annoyed that I'm stringing this along and it's taking so long.
So I plan on working on Friday and handing the manager on duty said resignation letter at the end of my shift, as well as leaving it in a few other places and mailing it. I want to make sure there's ample proof that I quit on Friday, not Sunday, so that I get paid my paid time off.
Anyway, point is... any suggestions on where all to send said letter? (Old job is in retail, so I'm wondering if sending it to corporate is too much, or a reasonable precaution?) And also, I don't know where even to start. Any tips or links about resignation letters would be useful. (I'll be doing my own research shortly, but the people on here tend to seem more knowledgeable than what my Googlefu usually turns up.) | Old job is shitty so I'm not giving them two weeks' notice. I want to give them a resignation letter to make sure it's clear that I quit AFTER my paid time off. |
t3_ersqi | AskReddit | Could any Redditors help make my papa laugh with this insane request? | So I made a throwaway account for fear of pervy backlash but here goes-
My papa is the coolest person I know, he has a head full of amazing facts and loves to learn. He is the life and soul of our family, will help out anyone who needs it (he is a retired joiner in his late 70s with a bad hip but he was still up his neighbours roof fixing tiles this summer).
He also happens to have the dirtiest sense of humour of anyone I know, and since I became old enough to hear his jokes (i'm a 23 year old female who has inherited said sense of humour) he has us all in stitches with his tales and one liners. As well as this he has a certain love for one Kelly Brook (uk model if you don't know her), and was desperate to buy the playboy magazine when she featured on the cover. As he reached out to get it in our supermarket my nana told him off and said he wasn't allowed. :/ This was months ago and the poor soul hasn't forgotten as he had been looking forward to it coming out. I had every intention of buying it for him for his Christmas and slipping it to him when no one was looking. However it has gone up to £50 online, and as I am a student with mounting debt there was no way I could afford that :(
I am asking if any kind redditors have an "unused" (read: clean, eww) version that they could forward on, or know of anywhere that I could get it at normal price? I tried the playboy website but In couldn't find a back issue section.
Any help would be lovely, I know this would just make my papa so happy- not to mention he would be pissing himself laughing if I surprised him with it. He is so nice to everyone that he deserves a wee gift!
Thanks!! | Papa wanted Kelly Brook Playboy mag, nana said no, I would like to try and get him a copy but they are expensive online, papa is frigging awesome |
t3_5300ka | tifu | TIFU by taking my step dads tire cap | Obligatory this wasn't today but within the last week or so.
So, I had a leak in one of my tires. I kept getting it filled with air until I could take it somewhere to get the tire actually fixed. I noticed that the tire that was leaking didn't have a tire cap on it. I know they don't really do anything but I figured, hey might as well put a tire cap on.
The problem was, none of my other tires had a cap either. Well, I really hate my step dad. So I took one of his. He just bought a new car and he babies it like none other so he noticed. A couple days later I'm driving somewhere with my mom and she mentions that he's going to put security cameras on the house. I asked why and she said someone stole his tire cap.
My parents now seem to think that someone is plotting to steal his tires and someone took the cap off to make sure they were good tires or something. So I took off the tire cap I stole and put it next to the curb, thinking in a couple days I could just say I found it by the garden while cleaning out my car. Well I tried to do that but the tire cap was gone when I went to go "magically find it".
I can't tell them I took it and now they're setting up security cameras. | I was missing a tire cap on a leaking tire and took one of my step dads cause I hate him. He noticed and now he's setting up security cameras because he thinks someone is going to try to steal his tires. |
t3_1gi6xh | AskReddit | Father's of Reddit, what went through your mind/reaction when your wife first told you 'I think the baby is coming.'? | I remember our first born, we visited the doctor for the regular checkup in the morning, he said looks like the baby might be coming late, may have to discuss options to induce. We were pretty chilled, so we went about the day. Sure enough, that night at 4am my wife wakes me and says 'My contractions are 10 minutes apart' I figured 10 minutes is REALLY short, I freaked and jumped out of bed nearly smashing my face into the side wall. We get into the car and I drive as fast and safely as I can to get my wife and child to the hospital, with the thought that I may have to do a roadside delivery and going through my memory banks of any movies I had watched that would aid me in the procedure.
We get to the hospital, and we explain the situation, and I was sure the nurse would be jumping out of her seat, to get my wife into the delivery room. To my confusion, she took her time inprocessing us, and calmly told us which way to go etc etc.
Turns out, 10 minute contractions would still mean my son would be born about 8 hours later. | Wife tells me her contractions are 10 minutes apart, pretty sure my son would be born on the way to the hospital, only 8 hours later do I become a dad. |
t3_2b4jcl | relationships | Me [16 M] with my GF [15 F] I just kissed another girl and i feel terrible | A little back story: Hi I'm a 15 year old boy, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months, I wasn't suppose to become her boyfriend because I knew I would hurt her (sounds cliche I know but hang on) I got pressured by friends and i accidentally kissed her at a party. No turning back at this point because she actually really loves me, and i like her too but I'm not much for long lasting relationships because I feel like I'm too young.
But then yesterday I went to the party and my girlfriend was only going to be there for half of the night, because she had to get early up the next morning to catch an airplane. Whilst she was there i spent all my time with her and we were both having a great time. Then she left and I started catching up with all the people that I hadn't spoken with for a long time. soonly it was midnight and i was laying in the grass with some girl I didn't know on top of me, long story short we kissed (quite intimately) I got up and was like no I have a f**king girlfriend and left. My girlfriends twinsister's ex was also there and saw the ¨event¨ happen, he rang his ex (my girlfriends twin sister) and told what had happend without my permission and I'm quite sure he told her that a bit more than just kissing happend (which by the way isn't true, but rumours spread quickly i guess). Now I'm home the day after feeling like shit. | I really respect my girlfriend, I kissed another girl, I don't deserve my girlfriend any anymore, She's gone for 2 weeks, so I can't talk with her what do I do? |
t3_1kwhso | legaladvice | Recent death of unmarried partner causing financial worries | This is in the UK!
My mother has been with her partner for seven years, living together and contributing to a mortgage together. They were due to get married on Tuesday however unfortunately he was rushed into hospital (as he has been battling with cancer for a few months) and has just passed away, so they never got to say the vows.
My mother regularly gave him money as he sorted out the bills and everything financial, including the mortgage, but I am wondering if this was a mistake and she will now have no rights? Her name isn't listed as the owner of the house, just his.
We suspect he died before finishing the will, so I imagine we are relying on the evidence of my mothers payments to him and the fact she lives in the house?
Any help is greatly appreciated! | Her partner died, managed all the finances, had only his name listed on the mortgage. My mother contributed half the funds, does she have any rights to the house or estate? |
t3_1u9afm | weddingplanning | Secular premarital counseling on a budget | My FH and I have always agreed that we would want premarital counseling, not for any particular issue but to help strengthen our communication and set the groundwork for an awesome marriage. Now that we're engaged I've realized how problematic that is- we are both full time students paying for the wedding ourselves and are unwilling to go into debt. That left us with a budget of $200 total for counseling, when an average MFT rate per session is $100-175.
If you're part of a church you likely have access to premarital counseling practically for free, but we are not.
I was planning on using that money for books, maybe classes, etc but I first decided to email a couple therapists I found online whose philosophies complemented ours, asking them if they offered premarital counseling and telling them my budget.
The one I like the best ended up calling and saying he would adjust his rate from $175 to $60 for us, because he spends so much of his time doing "damage control" and would like to help us out!
He's planning on spreading the sessions out over our engagement and giving us books/assignments to work on in between.
I'm so excited! | if you are interested in professional secular premarital counseling, it never hurts to ask around for a possible discount or even advice. |
t3_2s41xv | tifu | TIFU by forgetting that I wasn't in school | This happened earlier today, this morning at church to be exact. So I'm 17 and a junior in high school. That's why this happened...
So I was sitting in Sunday school. The Jr. High pastor is leading both Jr. and Sr. High today. I like him, he's a good guy. He likes to joke around sometimes. Anyways, we're going through this lesson on salvation. We come across the topic of love. So he asks the question, "What is love?" Some people are trying to explain it then there's people like my step-brother saying, "Baby don't hurt me." Me, being the guy I am, want to make a joke too. So, I blurt out, "Shrek is love. Shrek is life." The entire room goes silent. People are looking at me like, what the hell? I just kinda look across the room at my step-brother for support and he's facepalming like there's no tomorrow. There was one kid in the whole room laughing. He was that awkward kid that sits in the corner and doesn't talk ever. The pastor just stared at me and went on like nothing happened.
Later, at like 1-1:30 he texted me and was like, "What did I just search?" Confused, I ask, "What do you mean?" He sent me a screenshot of the Shrek is love, Shrek is life video. I think I'm going to get exorcised now... | Said "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" at church. Pastor sent screenshot to me of the video. Probably going to get an exorcism performed on me. |
t3_1ns0np | relationships | I [22/F] recently broke up with SO [25/M] of three years. Have always had feelings for one of my best friends [24/M], like 'marriage potential' feelings, and don't want to wreck it by rebounding on him. | Breaking up with my ex was for a multitude of reasons separate from these feelings (wanted different lives, too young for such a serious relationship etc.), but the feelings for my friend have been present since the first moment I met him. He had a girlfriend at the time and the day after he broke up with her, I got together with my now ex.
I could see myself marrying him. Plain and simple. It just seems to make sense when I think about it. He totally reciprocates. The problem is that I don't want to jump from one serious relationship to another - especially not at 22. Partly because I don't want to risk ruining the awesome potential we have and partly because I want to live my life as my own person for a bit.
I explained this to him and he said he understood completely and would wait (though I explained quite clearly I didn't expect him to go celibate in thr duration!) But I'm still not sure if this is selfish of me? If he will wait around? If I might ruin my chances with a great guy, possibly Thee Guy?
I just have no idea how to handle this situation. Advice? | Fresh out of 3 year relationship, feelings for a friend that could see longterm future with but don't want to jump straight into something serious...but also don't want to miss out on him. |
t3_3qowsu | tifu | TIFU by trying to date my best friend | So, happened a couple weeks ago but I had met this girl who lived above my flat when I first moved to university and we were pretty much the same person. Same humor and all that, liked all the same stuff and for the past couple years we have been best friends.
Couple weeks ago, after the past year and a bit of all our friends saying how 'good a couple we would be' and all that, feelings kinda just exploded in me and, for some reason, suddenly knew that she was who I wanted.
So go out on a night out with everyone, we make out drunkenly, spoon but don't do anything and the next day I said I wanted to date her and she was so happy. Queue the next and some of the most awesome days ever and she seems to be really into me. Saturday comes, I am summoned to her house and she says she doesn't want a bf in her final year. Said I was cool with it but now we haven't seen each other since and I've lost one of my best pals. | Met a girl who I became best friends with two years ago, suddenly liked her lots for no reason, sacked up and got together with her. Broke up days later and now seem to have lost my best friend. |
t3_11b93v | AskReddit | How has Reddit helped you become a better person? | Since I've joined Reddit I've read a lot of horror stories from people who work in the service industry. I used to work in the service industry, doing a number of different jobs. I guess, before Reddit, I didn't really think about how my actions interacting with service workers can perpetuate horrible worker/customer relationships.
Now I am much more attentive, and alert when dealing with service workers. I keep my head up, look at them when I speak, smile, and thank them. I try to be as pleasant as possible and try to create as pleasant an interaction as possible. It's a good feeling, mostly because you usually both walk away happier: I feel better for not being a jerk, and they feel better because someone didn't take their service for granted. It makes life a lot better, thanks Reddit. | Reddit as taught be to be more aware with dealing with service industry workers, and it's made me and my life better. |
t3_4bc0mv | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Online Date [21 F] 3 months, Whats this girls intentsions? | Please note. This is my first relationship, i lost my virginity at 25 and have very little understaning how to read people ( I have had an abusive childhood and have struggled with life untill this very day )
The first month was good, i liked her, she was fun to talk to, interesting, pretty but she is acting very strange.
Our first dates were nice, went along really well. Had sex a couple of times times on later dates and it was good.
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Now I dont understand shit, is this normal behaviour?
She comes over constantly but only sits on facebook, impossible to get contact.
She brings REALLY nice gifts, however wants to sleep on couch, during daytime. If i want to lay down with her and just cuddle or talk its nope, she would rather I go in a different room so she may use my master bed
She walks in unnanounced and to wants to bond more with my 80 year old father rather than talk to me. I found her sitting down with my father without even me knowing she was there.
Its been 2 month since we had sex and i asked her directly, lets have sex? No it was to late in the day( it was 3pm )
She does not want to go out, she does not want to do anything but come over, sit on facebook, sleep by herself and go home by 21:00 every time.
When i mean sit on facebook i mean she said shush when i try and get contact becouse she is watching videos, talking or doing whatever by herself
It was not like this the first 4-5 dates, they were considered normal
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What the hell is her intensions, she does not want sex, she does not want to do ANYTHING, she does not want to bond in any way anymore but CONSTANTLY wants to come over to sit on facebook alone on my couch? | Had good first dates, now she only wants to sleep by herself during daytime at my place, nor talk nor do anything, sits on facebook all the time but brings really nice personal expensive gifts |
t3_4n9cs9 | relationships | My Gf 18F is going to college this fall and I 18M don't know if I want to do long distance | Me and my gf have only been together since March, but we are very close and love to be together. In August she will attend college in Tennessee, and I will attend college in Texas tech.
I keep having my family and friends tell me that long distance won't work, and that we will both meet so many new people at college. Aside from the outside opinions, my gf still wants to date when we both leave, but I'm not so sure if I want to.
We haven't been dating so long for one thing, and we are both 18. I think that we will both change tremendously in college into more mature adults. I don't want to waste our time doing something that potentially won't work.
I have proposed a suggestion that we should be single when we go to college, and if we find someone that college it's meant to be. And if we both come back on breaks and still like each other then that's meant to be. But she refuses this and hates when I talk about it...
I want to enjoy my college years with new friends, and I don't want her or me to feel "tied down." Plus, we've haven't been dating for a long amount of time for either of us to develop a deep trust for each other.
Should I break things off now? Or at the end of the summer?
And is my suggestion a good idea? Despite her refusing the suggestion...
Also does anyone have any personal experiences with long distance? | My gf 18F wants to stay together and do long distance, but I 18M don't know if it's such a good idea. |
t3_4byel1 | relationships | My [22M] live-in girlfriend [22F] of 2 years got boring. | At the start of our relationship we would always be out doing something. Going to concerts, spontaneous roadtrips, grabbing a drink at a local pub, etc. We've been going out less and less lately. In the past few months she's developed a routine - she'll get home from work at 5, immediately change into her sweats, and spend the rest of the night watching TV or playing The Sims.
It's started to transfer over on the weekends now too. She works Monday to Friday, however I've still had to quite heavily convince her to come out with me these last few weekends. There's a get-together tonight with a bunch of our friends and she's decided to stay back instead of come. I've talked to her about this and her response is always "I'm tired after work." Not to belittle her job but she's a receptionist at a vet clinic- it's not physically tiring work. | I'm getting bored of watching TV every day until we go to sleep. She's starting to want to stay in on weekends now too. I'm starting to get tired of it - what should I do? |
t3_19vl9s | relationship_advice | My (28M) girlfriend (29F) of a year is set to move in with me, and I'm suddenly extremely apprehensive about it... | My (28M) girlfriend (29F) and I have been seeing each other about a year and discussing moving in for a few months. It might be early, I suppose, but certain circumstances have made it a practical move, and until recently, I have been 100% supportive and excited about the idea.
About 6 weeks ago we were having some problems, potentially the kind that might end the relationship. We worked things out, but now every time I think about her moving in, I get extremely anxious, stressed out, and the idea sounds terrible to me, while it feels like she is more excited about it than ever.
The thing I'm most concerned about is that when she is here, I enjoy her company and we seem to have a good time. I don't mind her being here when she is. But when she's not (which is most of the time at this point), I feel like there's nothing I could want less than for her to live with me and be in my life all the time. I don't know how to reconcile these feelings.
Analyzing the situation myself leads me to the conclusion that this is not the right time and we should wait until I can sort my feelings out. But of course, getting outside opinions is always helpful. What do you guys think? | I wanted my girlfriend to move in with me, now I don't, though when she's here I'm fine with it. |
t3_2s02x4 | relationships | My [27 M] my girlfriend [23 F] of about two years, gets angry over dumb/small shit. | By all reasonable measures, our relationship is healthy and great. We moved in together a while ago, have steady jobs and incomes, and get along well and enjoy spending our time together. No relationship is perfect and there are some things we stress about, but my overall satisfaction is pretty good.
Except one thing; she has a short fuse. I mean, she doesn't have a violent temper or public outbursts or anything like that, and we don't have a problem talking out big issues. My thing is that she gets *easily* irritated and angry over **little shit**. Things that would usually roll off my back, she gets angry about. Accidentally pull her hair? "OW, FUCK!" Ask her to speak up twice because I couldn't hear her? I get the sentence yelled at me. Forgot to do something on the way home? Pissed off.
But before you think that this must mean I'm a passive guy, I mean, I'm not. I'm loud, social, and I speak up *quickly* about things that bother me. But little things don't bother me, if they did, I'd get burned out, especially when it comes to the idiosyncrasies of life and liviging with someone else. Inconviencies happen, and I deal with it and move on. I rarely get *angry* about them, which is another reason why its irritating when my SO does.
At least these things are transient, I call her out on it, she fumes, and she apologizes and that's it. To her credit it never really lasts more than a few minutes, and life goes on, but it's still fucking nuts. Most everything else about the relationship is stable, honest, and cool, but is this something that I can expect to wear me down as time goes on? I know the go-to answer is 'talk to her about it', which I agree, but then I know it would be 'You're right, I do get mad over little things', and then what? We're pretty honest about our flaws, so how do I go about handling afterwards? | Girlfriend gets irritated and angry (at me, usually) over minor shit in life, all the time, I don't, ironically that in itself is irritating. |
t3_1umemc | relationships | Is there anyway that I (M18) can help my best friend (F17) see that her friendship with her ex (F15/16) is toxic? | To help me write this clearly I will call my best friend Abby and her ex Nicole (Not real names obviously).
Last year Abby broke up with Nicole because Nicole was needlessly bulling Abby's friends. Recently Nicole reached out to Abby on facebook. In that time Nicole has posted a status announcing that she is still in love with Abby, this is really relevant in a minute. The time they broke up wasnt the first time it happened. Nicole had actually broken up with Abby twice in the two weeks before it ended completely.
This week Abby has been suffering from night after night of sleep paralysis. Earlier today she made a status to complain about it and basically say that she will go insane without a good nights sleep. Nicole took it upon herself to type a two paragraph comment berating her and having a go at her for 'making fun of insane people' and 'how dare she complain about something that hasnt happened for a long time'. She then posted three comments in a row saying that shes sorry and she fucked up and thats shes going to leave.
This happened in literally a span of 30 seconds. The problem being that she did this when they were going out too, where she would get aggressive or rude and immediately have a go at herself and say she was leaving forever. The whole thing seems very emotionally manipulative and Im worried because Abby doesnt see this stuff very easily.
Is there anything I can do to help her see that her ex is a bit toxic, or should I let her (hopefully) find out by herself? | Best friend became friends with ex. Her ex is still in love with her and acts out to get her attention before getting a bit emotionally manipulative. Do I do anything? |
t3_20agok | legaladvice | [Denver,Colorado] Landlord's sister wants to do a random "walkthrough". | My roommates and I have lived in this old house for about 20 months on a monthly lease. The landlord is the estranged aunt of one of the four residents living here.
The landlord(Lindsay) has a sister(Cruela). Since Lindsay lives about 2 hours away, Cruela is the one that often deals with issues that arise with the property like pipes bursting or lawn care.
Today, Cruela called saying that since we have not done a walk-through since we moved in that she wants to do one.
My roommates and I feel that this is an unnecessary breach of privacy. Never have I had a landlord want to just snoop around for no reason while I still lived there, let alone the landlord's relatives. When we moved in, there were rats in the house and when we told them they just told us to put out traps. | There is no real reason the landlord's sister has to be doing a walk-through, do we have to comply? |
t3_4tyacv | tifu | TIFU by Accepting an Invitation to go on a Family Trip with my Cousins | A little background: I'm 27, and have been in graduate school for the last several years. I just graduated, and my mom's cousin - let's call her Carol, who is in her 60s, invited me in March to go on her family's vacation to Africa. Carol's family is very well-off, both her and her husband are successful and prominent lawyers. I am close with her children, my second cousins, and eagerly said I'd love to go. The trip begins in a week and a half.
A couple months ago, Carol asked me to pay for my flights inside Africa. This was about $1k, and I sent her the money - a little surprised but ok with it since the trip looked amazing.
Then last night, she asked me if I could send her a check for the rest of the trip. I asked how much. She then informed me that I owed her another $3,500. That's like 7 months rent for me, and I clearly don't have the money. There was never any mention of the price of the trip to me at any time.
I was under the impression that when a family member from an older generation invites a younger family member who is a student on a family trip, that the costs of that trip would be covered - unless the costs were discussed beforehand. I guess not so much.
So after spending $1k on my flight from the USA to Africa, then another $1k on my flights within Africa - I had to tell her that I can't go and now I have a flight to South Africa next with absolutely no plans once I'm there.
Thanks fam. | Poor graduate student. Invited on family vacation with my cousins' family. Asked, but wasn't told of cost. Week before leaving, asked to pay $3500 for 8 day trip. |
t3_2tq8z3 | offmychest | You're welcome asshole! | Yesterday I went to dominos pizza and ordered a pizza (no shit).
I was in a particularly good mood that day and decided to tip the cashier, after all I have a minimum wage job and I know the struggles he's probably dealing with, anyway after I paid for the pizza I had 10 dollars left to my name and asked if they take tips, he said yes and I handed him 10 dollars and the cashier didn't even say thanks, he just grabbed it and walked off, asshole I have to go the rest of the day without any money to eat, and you couldn't spare a simple thanks! | I tipped a cashier with all the money I had left on me and he didn't say thanks, now I'm going to be hungry for 2 days |
t3_k0r7e | dogs | Speak to me of Bull and Bedlington Terriers, Doggit, please. | I am very much a Corgi fan. They're my favorite breed because their breed personality is just a perfect match for mine, they're very smart, easily trainable, and I think that they're very attractive dogs... though I do sometimes secretly wish he had longer legs and it's no secret that I wish he had a tail. *Sigh*. But, this post is not about Corgis. It's about terriers.
I don't like most terriers. I don't like the way they look, I don't like the way they act, I don't like how crazy they can be. But, I have always admired Bull Terriers for their history, their strong and unique shape, and their breed personality--which *seems* very similar to that of a Corgi if only because they're described as "clownish" 95% of the time. I also recently met a Bedlington terrier that just floored me in how strikingly similar he was to my own dog and my own needs as an owner. I dealt with him for just an hour though and am aware he could be a behavioral anamoly the way my Corgi is.
It will be at least 2 or 3 years before I can get another dog, and I've toyed with the idea of not getting another Corgi or Corgi-like dog--ie a Vallhund. (Blasphemous, I know.) I've always considered Bull Terriers as a dog I want to own and recently I have this fire burning for Bedlingtons.
I don't want or need comparisons of these dogs to Corgis. I've read lots of pages of info on Bulls but still don't have a clear picture of what they're like to own, and there's some conflicting info from what I've read about Bedlingtons. What are your experiences with these two terriers? Do you consider them particularly terrier-like? | Want to learn about two breeds of terriers. What can you tell me about their personalities, intelligence, exercise demands, mental demands, etc? |
t3_2knbpf | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [18 F] 3 years , she wants to be close friends after everything. What dos this mean? | So my ex and I had a good relationship. For a year and a half thing were healthy. The next year and a half went from unhealthy to abusive.
There was no real physical abuse. Sure she would hit me during our fights but I didn't really make it a big deal. So during a fight we broke up and she moved away. Btw we have a kid together. She took our daughter with her. We decided to try and get along and be friends for the baby. We talk a lot during the day since we broke up.
I know she doesn't want to get back together. When we talk about getting back together all she seems to remember is the bad things and even once said to someone that she doesn't want to go back to someone she hates. some how we still talk and have good conversations all day. She got into a LDR within only a month after our break up and so I did the exact same thing. She tries to be a "bro" about our relationships and openly tells me about her guy and askes me about my girl. We both still get hurt by each others relationships. so she wants to be friends. Not just friends but close friends. | so after all that we went through is it a good idea for us to be friends? What can come out of this friendship? Is there potential for a make up? |
t3_4hszjg | relationships | Me [22F] with my FWB?? [22 M] of almost a year, basically what am I even doing with my life | Complete throwaway account because he's already found my regular account... This is probably going to be long, but I'm really just trying to piece it together myself.
I don't even know where to begin all of this, I'm so confused right now. We'll call him Will. Basically, me and Will started hooking up almost a year ago after almost a year of flirting (I was with someone else, he was with someone else). We agreed we could see other people but I never did, I had always had a little bit of a crush on him.
But he saw other girls off and on in the past year and every time it literally breaks my heart. I didn't think I wanted to date him but I guess now I do. We hang out literally all the time: at school, friends houses, at bars. Everyone knows that we have a thing and everyone pretty much thinks we're dating but he absolutely refuses to call it that. I am not his girlfriend, we're just "hooking up". And I absolutely hate it.
Logically, I know I should break it off with him. He keeps hurting me and I keep forgiving him but there's still these grudges in the back of my head. When it's just me and him, we get a long so well. But when we're in front of other people, he treats me completely differently.
So I know I should stop with him... He knows how I feel, we've had conversations about it. We had decided a little while ago that we would try not seeing other people for a month but now the month is over and I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of him hooking up with other girls.
So I guess what I'm looking for is motivation, encouragement, to do this because I do really care for him and I think we could be great together... but he does not share the same feelings. | hooking up with FWB for a year, he sees other girls even though I ask him not to, help me to break it off with him |
t3_10dfit | AskReddit | Can Anyone Help Me Knock This Off My "Bucket List"? | Hello Reddit, I'm JustRex. I'm in college. I'm 21. I'm from Chicago-ish. For the past 13 days I have made and posted a video (Here's my channel: dedicated to the singer/song-writer Ingrid Michaelson. You see, instead of creating a bucket list, I made a list of people (famous and not-famous) that I would like to have coffee and conversation with. Ingrid Michaelson is a tied #1 with Tina Fey. Since I'm not well versed in "How-To-Get-A-Celebrity-To-Notice-You" I've been making YouTubes and messaging/posting/tweeting them to her social networking pages hoping that SOMEONE connected to her catches me in the act. Sadly, my vids are topping out at about 30 views each...sad and sorry YouTuber...I'm not sure any of my fellow Redditors know Ms.Michaelson personally, but if you do I surely wouldn't mind the clearly and much needed hook-ups. If you don't know famous peeps, I could use a little more channel traffic, if you don't mind. I'll be posting until October 9th, the night of her concert in Chicago, since I really can't see myself posting nightly for decades nor can I see someone more famous than most making special trips to Chicago for a fan. Please and thank you, my friends. May the Reddit Gods grant you 10,000,000 karma. | Help! Watch my videos here Trying to meet Ingrid Michaelson ( when she comes to Chicago! Help a girl out? |
t3_1n7uec | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, have been fighting a lot. | Well when I first started dating Kyrstyn she was a woman. A powerful one. A go getter. One that made you stop and stare. Now she's childish, literally talking like a child (that baby voice women do) and as I'm growning older and maturer I'm finding that that is really annoying 24/7; especially now that I live with her. "Playing" is another thing. Sometimes it's refreshing. Half the time it's like having a Labrador puppy.
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I just want the fighting to stop and I want her to treat me like the adult I'm growing into not the kid she used to date. | girlfriend treats me like a kid which I don't like and I want it to stop; even though I've asked her before. What do I do? |
t3_tm1n8 | AskReddit | I was placed in a mental hospital for 3 weeks. Now that im back in the real world, what do i tell my friends? | I am a 16 year old guy, i am popular, a star athlete, and well known throughout my community as the "go to guy" for emotional issues. Recently, I attempted to kill myself (for the second time, the first time was kept secret by friends) and was wisked away to a mental hospital. In six hours, I will be back in school. Facing my friends, teammates, girlfriend, teachers and coaches. And i have no fucking idea what to tell them. For context, i vanished. My mother took me to a mental hospital where i was diagnosed with advanced depression and multiple mood disorders. No one knew, I just disappeared. i was completely out of touch with the world. After going through treatment for around 20 days, i was released. Now I have so much anxiety about returning I thought mabye reddit could help me. What should i say? Should I lie? Or just own up? Im afraid of the judgement... | I have been gone for a few weeks from school because i was in a mental hospital. What should i tell everyone? |
t3_1hsy4g | relationships | Me [20F] was seeing a girl [F19], and now I think my best friend [20F] wants to swoop in. | Before i started seeing this girl my best friend was really good friends with her but just friends and he had a girlfriend at the time. Before I started going for her I made sure my friend had no feeling for her at all, and seeing that he was my best friend I would expect him to tell me the truth.
Anyways I saw this girl for about 3 months and it didnt work out and its been about 2 weeks. My friend knew I had developed serious feelings for her and he knew I was really upset. Im still not over her completely.
Now he just broke up with his girlfriend and has been hanging out with the girl quite often and I told him explicitly not to do anything with her because i think its pretty ratty for him to pick up a girl who i was trying to date 2 weeks ago.
I have a very strong suspicion that he did do things with her and im thinking about confronting him about it. I dont want this girl to ruin our friendship but it seems like hes just being a loser about it and disregarding how i feel.
Dont really know what to do. | Was seeing this girl now i suspect my best friend wants to get with her while he knows im still not over her. |
t3_vg13l | AskReddit | Why do females ... ? | As a female, I sometimes look at my gender and just ... [What?] ... [Are you kidding me?]
I'm often ashamed by the fact my gender is so complicated and stupid. Why they think the way they do, when I'm here, pretty much "one of the guys". I've had many guy friends come to me with their relationship problems, and no matter how much I want to tell them to just get their ballsack while they still have it and RUN ... I do try my best to assist them in the better understanding of women. For example; Why girls say nothing is wrong when OBVIOUSLY something is wrong. Ohhh boy. There is no winning that one.
NOTE: Since people cannot understand that I'm not calling every single female on the world a stupid moron, I'll have to put this little note here: It's the gender stereotype. Many men, and other women, can't understand why females do what they do. There are many, MANY brilliant female minds and women who have changed the world. Obviously I'm not here about them. Common sense. | What are some questions you have pertaining to what females do and why? I'll answer with the best of my abilities. |
t3_u21z4 | AskReddit | About 2 years ago I was Friendzoned level 99. I need some answers now. | So I was dating a crazy girl for about 9 months in high school and we broke up. A few months late I started to get to know a really awesome girl. This girl and me talked for a good month or two and we really hit it off. This girl was really amazing and I really wanted to be with her. Unfortunately crazy ex girlfriend didn't want to see me happy of course and started to be friends with the new girl. Crazy decided to ruin me and the new girls possible relationship by filling her head with lies. Me and the new girl tried to work things out but in the end she said it would be best if we just stayed friends and played it by ear. So we stayed "bestfriends" for about 2 years now talking occasionally and me helping her whenever she had a problem. Now all this time has passed and were starting to talk on a daily basis. Some old feeling are starting to spark up and I'm not sure what to do. I really like this girl but I fear if I tell her she isn't even going to want to be friends any more. Reddit please help. | Crazy ex girlfriend made a possible new girlfriend not want to date me. friendzoned for about 2 years. old feelings starting up. what to do? |
t3_2dhzg1 | relationships | Girls I like sometimes think I'm gay. I'm not. Any advice? | Here's the simplified version: I am a 21 year old college male who has never had a girlfriend, or even kissed a girl. Until a couple years ago I was very shy and pretty awkward, but I studied abroad and it changed me into a more confident, outgoing, fun person to hang out with.
But that's part of the problem. I've never been a super masculine, video-game playing guy. I'm average height and attractive and fit enough, but I don't have washboard abs. At my best I'm truly a witty, charming, fun guy to hang around with, and I have recently made a ton of friends because of this.
But that's not enough, and I find that sometimes (like, right now, for example) this fun, kinda quirky yet not crazy personality of mine turns the girls I like into girls who want to spend a ton of time with me - but not romantically. I've even been told by a couple gay people that I come off "a little gay" and I can't help but understand why they might think that.
Problem is, I like most of the version of myself that might make people think I'm gay! I'm sure there are a few things I could tweak, but I am happy with most of who I am and we all have a ton of fun when I act myself.
But there's a girl I've been hanging out with who I know I can be a wonderful boyfriend to. She needs a smart, sensitive, fun, caring heterosexual man like me, and she really enjoys my company. But she's enjoying my company most and we have an awesome time together most when I'm acting in a way that might make me seem gay. And clearly that's not the best thing to do when you want to date said girl... | I'm not the most macho man, and I'm okay with that. But I don't want girls I want to date think I'm not attracted to her entire gender! Help me! |
t3_2riwru | relationships | I [20M] have serious commitment issues and I think it's going to force me to be alone of the rest of my life. | My entire dating life I have struggled with commitment, relationship after relationship I continually told myself that I will make them work, which they usually do work, for about 2-3 months which is when something in me changes, I just lose all interest.
I become distant and emotionally unattached, A lot of the time it's me thinking "I could do better". I'm starting to believe I only go into relationships for the thrill of the chase, because when I'm trying to convince myself why I can't be happy with this person, A little voice in the back of my head want's me to leave the relationship. | Is this primarily caused by how young I am? wanting to experience everything that's on offer? Or am I just mentally damaged? |
t3_1dpq84 | relationships | I [19m] have been trying to prepare for a future long distance thing with my [19f] girlfriend. | I met my girlfriend 2 months ago and everything has been going really really well. We hang out at least 3 days a week and skype a lot and we enjoy each others company. This is definitely one of my more "serious" relationships and I like this girl a lot.
In the Fall semester she is transferring to a college that is 2 and a half hours away and she is trying to convince me to come with her. I told her that probably wouldn't happen and she broke down and cried. Now we agreed that we would try the long distance thing and would see each other as much as possible. I really like her and want to try it; but I know this will be hard.
Should I attempt the long distance thing? I could transfer to her college but I am aware of the bad stories of going to school with a girlfriend and the problems that can ensue with a break up. Help. | Met amazing girl 2 months ago, shes transferring colleges and wants me to come with her. Should I transfer with her or try a LDR? |
t3_1mt1sz | relationship_advice | I'[M 24] Having a hard time understanding how to relationship. | I'm a 24 year old college freshman, I've been in a few relationships over the years though sadly all the "healthy" ones were long distance. When it comes to local relationships I've had 2 both when I was a little younger (18, and 21-ish) and both I got used pretty hard.
Where I am now, I like the idea of romance, and love, and being in a relationship. Though that might just be because of my program viewing habits. (I love the hell out of sappy romance anime and movies)
I tend to find myself very adamantly disinterested in relationships, the concept of having all these obligations, and requirements to make another person happy while I want to graduate and follow my dreams, drives me nuts. Then other times I will meet someone really nice, or interesting and find myself interested in them somewhere between "Lets be best friends" and "I just want to hold your hand and talk about stuff we have in common." It rarely happens but when it does I feel like I get to that point so fast it's not good for me.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this, or how to approach relationships in the future. | I don't wanna date cause being obligated to act a way for someone else is weird to me, but sometimes I wanna hold someone's hand. |
t3_4g2s9o | relationships | My friend asked me out- I'm slightly conflicted | So a good friend of mine(20/m) of almost two years,
asked me(19/F) to be his girlfriend. It was overall a very nonchalant proposition for him. I, having not ever dated, was kinda flattered but at the same time didn't feel much about it, perhaps it was because of the way he asked.
The thing is, we hang out quite a bit and people have often asked if we were dating, so at this point he's just like "we might as well." So I was like "yeah. Sure." Then he did a little gesture from show we watched to kinda make it our thing? And then he leaned in for a kiss and it wasn't really a kiss but more of like a face touch but that kinda set off a weird, slightly disgusted/unpleasant feeling in me. Later I told him that's I'd need more time to think.
And so now I'm here. Okay one thing to mention is that I'm mostly closeted bi ( he doesn't know) , but leaning more towards girls. I think that may have contributed to the off feeling I had. So now really all I have to say is no to him. I'm not really sure why I haven't yet... But now I get that unpleasant feeling whenever i am reminded of him and I don't know if I can hang out with him like before anymore. Why do I feel this way and is it bad that I do? It feels like a petty reason to lose a friend over. | My friend asked me out, and tried to kiss me. It made me uncomfortable and I'm not sure if I can hang out with him anymore. Am I wrong for feeling this way? |
t3_4d4c6j | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend [19F] of 6 months said another guy is better looking than me | Okay so before I start I want to make it clear that I am in the wrong here and I'm just looking for a way of dealing with this and getting over it.
So to keep it short, a little while ago my girlfriend told me that a really good looking celebrity was better looking than me. (It's Stephen Amell, in case you were wondering). I know that he is better looking than me and that it shouldn't matter that she thinks that he's better looking but it makes me feel really bad about my physical appearance. Every time I see a good looking I always wonder whether or not she would want me to look like that.
Every time I try to talk to her about it I start getting really jealous and she says that she didn't actually mean it and that she only said it to make me jealous because she was feeling bad and we get into a huge fight. I don't talk about it with her anymore because I don't want us to fight, but it still bothers me.
I'm the type of guy that doesn't handle emotions really well. I tend to make a huge joke out of everything and I suggested that I just start joking about this because that's how I deal with stuff, but she said she would hate that and it would make her feel worse about saying it.
I really do love her and I know that I'm being really silly feeling bad about this. I just don't know how to deal with this. How do I get over something like this? | Girlfriend said that hot celebrity is better looking than me, I'm being stupid feeling bad about it. How do I get over this? |
t3_1wizky | Advice | My ex-girlfriend is dating a heroin addict | As the title suggests, my ex is dating a heroin addict who was just picked up for nodding off while he was driving in a parking lot and crashing into 5 cars. He also had 2 warrants out for his arrest. She texted me yesterday for the first time in over 6 months and was kind of hinting that she was going through some shit, but didn't come right out and say it, but she asked me to come over today so we could talk. I get to her house and smoke a cigarette as we were wont to do when we dated, and soon after we sit down, she spills her guts out to me. I tell her that she needs to get the fuck out of there, and she agrees. But she's also had a lot of trouble with anorexia, so it's hard to believe her sometimes when she says she's gonna do something. It kills me knowing that she's still hurting so much after all this time and I want to help her have a healthy life more than anything, but every aspect of her life is so turbulent it's impossible for her to get any real footing and get out. I'm thinking of asking her to move out of state with me because I'm going through some shit too, but I just don't know what to do...btw her and I dated for a year and a half even while she was in rehab, and I was her first so we have a pretty serious history. | my ex's bf is in jail for drug related offenses and I'm worried he's going to take her down with him. What do I do to keep this from happening? |
t3_w1kmt | relationship_advice | [17/f] My sister (19/f) is a lying, stealing and manipulative person. I'm just tired. | I hate my sister. This thought came after a lot of consideration, and wondering whether it was just sibling rivalry. I used to dismiss it as teen angst and weird hormones, but I don't like her.
I don't know if I'm justified, I just want to know if it's wrong of me to not want a relationship with her. Also, any tips on how to get her to stop stealing from me?
She steals my money, more than two hundred dollars in bus tickets, and pretty much anything valuable. I have no privacy.
She recently lost her headphones, so she took mine. She had taken mine earlier, so I made various marks to indicate that they were mine. When I couldn't find mine, and I saw her using some, I asked her to see them.
So, she threw them out of the window. She threw the headphones out of the window.
She has locked me in the basement to prevent me from going on the computer when she wants it. We have THREE computers.
She constantly steals my cash for cigarettes. I can't even leave five dollars in my wallet without her taking it.
Whenever I confront her, my mother defends her, saying that it's "sibling rivalry." How is it rivalry when I don't steal from her?!? Is my mother justified? Am I just crazy?
I live at home with my parents, and so does she. Neither of my parents do anything, because they are tired of her bullshit. So, they just give her money (but she still takes mine?!?!) and let her do whatever she wants.
She comes home at 1:00 am without keys, and bangs on the door when everyone has to wake up at 6:30.
She smokes cigarettes in our house.
She will yell and scream at people, and then blame it on her low blood pressure. | My sister is evil, how do I get her to stop stealing from me? Should I even try to maintain a relationship with her? Is it possible? |
t3_1mbb9l | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [26M] of 4 years has an undiagnosed sleeping disorder and it may be affecting our relationship. Advice please! | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and everything is wonderful. We have a lot in common and I feel like we're both on an even keel and are good at handling our problems. There is just one problem that really seems unhandle-able, his sleeping disorder.
He is physically unable to wake up before 4 or 5 pm, and sometimes will sleep for 24 hours straight. He has sought treatment and was turned away from several clinics because they just could not help him, though they suspect Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome or some other circadian rhythm disorder. Luckily, they were able to give him documentation to give to his work, so that is not overly affected.
I feel very selfish making this about me, but it's beginning to make me feel VERY isolated. I have a day schedule that begins very early in the morning, so I usually go to bed fairly early in the night. We don't live together and because both of our work schedules are only able to see each other on the weekends every 2-3 weeks. This would be fine, but because of his sleep, he seems to literally drop off the face of the earth until we have plans. I have even told him, "It only feels like I'm dating someone on the weekends."
He does try to help and I can tell when I bring it up he's left feeling awful because it's something he really can't control and would love to be rid of. So I feel uncomfortable bringing it up, but it's really affecting the relationship in my eyes. Is anyone in a relationship like this? Any advice? I really don't want to end this otherwise wonderful relationship. | My boyfriend cannot physically wake up in the morning (he wakes up very late in the evening/night) and I'm left feeling very isolated. |
t3_2s4cc2 | pettyrevenge | Room mate that refused to empty the bins? Time for a treasure hunt. | This is my first time posting, so forgive me for any format issues.
The Issue:
My ex-room mate and I lived together for two months before I got fed up. When I first moved in with her, we agreed to doing certain jobs. I'd heard rumours about how messy this girl was, so I volunteered to vacuum and sweep the whole house if she made sure that she took the rubbish out whenever it was full. For the first week or two, she stuck to it, and there wasn't an issue. But after that? Whew, she never did it once. It would build up and build up, until there was four or five bags sitting around the bin, and then I would take it out myself, because the smell became unbearable.
Two months in, I tell her that I'm moving back home to save up some money. It's a lie, and she knows it, but hey, what's it matter? I also tell her that I'm going away for the weekend a few days before I leave. So that Friday, I'm ready to leave, and I see that there is a rubbish bag tied up next to the bin, and a half full bag in a bin. I shake my head and leave.
Fast forward a few days and I come home to six rubbish bags, and my house mate isn't there. I text her to find out that she won't be home for the rest of the following week.
Idea time. I cut holes in all the bags, and hide them around the apartment. I put one in a suitcase that she stored in my room. I put a couple under the washing machine, because it has a gap in its back. And I put another in the cupboard under the sink in the kitchen too, because I also know she'd never do the dishes.
It's been almost a year, and my old room mate has left the house, and it still hasn't been leased out to someone. Pretty sure she lost her bond too. | Room mate wouldn't take out rubbish for two months, I hid it around the apartment and she never figured it out. |
t3_25j2l2 | relationships | Me [18M] with my [19F] 1 Year, anxious when she goes clubbing. | Basically, when she goes out 'clubbing' with her girlfriends, I get really nervous in case she gets too drunk, and someone does something to her and shes too drunk to prevent it or goes along with it. I think it may to be to with my low self esteem, I cant see why she would choose me over other people, I love her dearly and would do anything from her and I dont want to get in her way of fun.
She's a bit friendly with boys because she is the youngest of 4 with 3 brothers, so I guess she just gets on with boys for this reason. She's never given me a reason to believe she is going to cheat but there's this little nag in the back of my head I can't seem to shake! | Anxious, scared she wont be able to do anything, not sure what to do, just want some comforting help really or some help. |
t3_2y4zg7 | relationships | Me [29 M], there's plenty of advice on how to meet new people on here, but I guess I don't know how to maintain friendships. | Insert every standard stereotype of a neck beard and you'll pretty much get my current situation.
I've tried to follow advice I've seen on meeting new people for friendship and dating, but I've not been very successful. I've gone to meetups and social groups that are based around my hobbies, but since these groups often meet only once a month and have people come and go it's hard to actually form a connection that can become a friendship or something more. I feel like there's some extra step I'm missing to try to create something more consistent.
For context, things I'm currently doing to meet more people include:
Monthly Book Club
Monthly Board Game Meetup
Arranging Monthly social events at work
Twice Monthly Charity Work
Weekly Yoga (and yes, the sight of an overweight neck beard try to hold the warrior pose looks ridiculous).
In nearly every case it seems like there's different people every time I go, so I never make any consistent connection with anyone. Do I need to be more outgoing and try to get people's contact information the first time I meet them? Do I need to find different hobbies that allow for more consistent socialization? | I'm trying to meet friends and people to date, but don't know how normal adults make connections when they don't meet regularly. What should I change to make more friends? |
t3_2qoo1d | relationship_advice | [18/F] need outside opinions on what's going on with my boyfriend of 4 yrs [18/M] and talking to girls he met on a cruise in October. Am I upset over nothing? | First off, back story. Last year when he went on a cruise, he ended up making out with some girl and I found out about it when he got home, threw a huge fit, and he said nothing would happen again. So this year when he was going again I was already hesitant. But I had told myself not to worry about it because he never keeps contact with anyone once he gets home.
This year he met 4 girls, 2 of which are sisters. He texts them, the sisters, nonstop and stays up late to video chat them (3 hour time difference) and has made plans to go and stay with them for spring break. This is what upsets me. He only knew these girls for a week and is going to stay a week with them at their home in Utah, but he still isn't allowed to go on overnight trips with me.
Lately he's been ignoring my texts and it kind of feels like he's avoiding me, but his sister tells me that he's still been talking to them constantly, and when he is over at my house he can't put his phone down because they keep texting him and he "has to reply." It just makes me uncomfortable that he's putting so much time into these girls and even sent them a Christmas card, but he can't put his phone down long enough to stop talking to them and have a conversation with me. And anyone who knows him knows that if it were me doing the things he's doing, he wouldn't let it happen.
Am I upset over nothing? How can I let him know it bothers me without him freaking out? | Boyfriend made out with girl on cruise last year, went on another cruise this year, met more girls, and is going to stay with them on spring break |
t3_50k5ht | jobs | Trained for another position, still getting scheduled for the old position. How do I address this? | Hi guys,
So I'm a teenager working a job in high school at a grocery store in the northeast called Wegmans. I started as a cashier over a year ago and a couple months ago I spoke with my boss about changing to something with more variety. I put in for another position, got denied because I didn't have the right experience for it, so they said they would train me on a similar position to gain skill for that position. For a couple weeks my boss forgot to schedule the training day for the new job but she scheduled it in front of me. Incidentally, that was her last day (she transferred out). So after the training day I went to my new boss (my old boss said she told him) and said "Oh hey you can start scheduling me for that" to which he replied "oh okay cool". So another few weeks have gone by, and I still only see FE Cashier in my schedule. I am really tired of this position to the point where I'm ready to quit if I don't start getting scheduled for the other position. I don't want to say it that bluntly, but I'm so tired of this position that I'm not even sure I can even work the next three shifts I've been scheduled for. I'm miserable the entire time I'm there. How do I express my frustration with my new boss and hopefully get this resolved? My next day is Saturday. | employer said they would give me a new position, trained me on it, still haven't scheduled me for it and now I don't know how to address this with my new boss given that I'm miserable in my current position. |
t3_15aj9g | BreakUps | Coming home | So this is how I feel. I broke up with my LDR gf while out of the country. I'll be coming home in a month. We share all the same friends.
We have been trying to be friends, and it seems to be working. But that's over long distances, just through text.
I can't shake this feeling that I don't want to see anyone from back home. I want to see my ex, but for some reason the idea of seeing everyone again just makes me want to kill myself.
My plan is to become an alcoholic hermit until I can leave my hometown again. I just don't know when that will be. | I'm coming back home after breaking up with my ex while out of the country. Has anyone been in this situation? It's not my ex I don't want to see, it's all of our friends. Help. |
t3_2x1kjz | personalfinance | Homeowner Moving - Rent Current Home or Sell? | Hey everyone,
Kind of a simple question that can get complex depending on the situation, so I'll try and give as much information as I can.
I bought my first house July 2013, and I will be relocating from Minnesota to the California bay area this summer. I bought a cheap starter home near downtown in the city I live in on a 15 year mortgage at 2.8% interest. As the bay area is incredibly expensive, I don't plan on buying when I move out there.
My only significant debt is ~$28k in student loans.
After consulting with realtors I believe I could rent my home for ~$100 more than my 15 year mortgage. If I sold I would net about $20k after paying off my mortgage (Probably would not be selling for a profit, selling for around the same I paid).
My question is would the benefits associated with having a small side business / owning a home be worth it financially? I know there are a lot of things tax wise I can do to write off losses and improvements on the home. I also like the idea of diversifying my investments. My interest rate being what it is, I feel pretty bad selling my home, and if I can make money, or at least break even renting it seems like a good bet for me.
If my home were to sit vacant, I wouldn't be happy about it but I would be able to get by figuring I rent an apartment in the Bay area. It is fairly easy to rent homes in my area, and a lot of professional types come through every year.
I would probably manage the property using a property manager.
If I sell I will probably dump most of what I get into my $28k of student loans and be left with around $8k
Thanks for any advice! I'm leaning towards keeping it now, just because I think my interest rate is a great deal, and I think home values in the area I live in are going to start trending up. | Moving from MN -> CA. Should I keep my home at 15 year 2.8% mortgage or sell and pay down my ~$28k student loan. |
t3_1rp9b5 | relationships | Me [23 M] hate taking photos. How do I politely decline to get photographed? | Hi, I am a single male who has not been photogenic at all since my teen years. I believe I'm moderately good-looking when I see myself in the mirror, but I look terribly awkward and unattractive in still pictures. It tends to destroy my self-confidence. So, I actively try to avoid taking any photos of myself.
This wouldn't be a huge problem, except Facebook. It seems all my friends are taking photos of each other and sharing and tagging and liking them all the time. It's one thing that I find really disgusting about Facebook. I have never used a real profile picture, and never uploaded any photos of mine. But I can't stop others tagging me in photos they have taken of me.
How do I refuse to take group photos in social situations without offending others? Anyone has been through a similar issue? Thanks. | Unphotogenic person hates it when others tag my photos on Facebook. Need to find a polite way to avoid this situation. |
t3_2tohkq | relationships | My ex [22/F] wants me [22/M] to give her old iPhone back. The iPhone is how I found out she was cheating on me as it was filled with nudes of other men. | I was in a 3 year relationship with the women I loved. I transferred to a military college as I felt like it was the best decision for my academic career. My ex stayed at our old college and after a semester, I flew back for her sorority formal. After that weekend she gave me her old iPhone so we could facetime and make the long distance relationship easier.
On my way back home, I looked at the phone and there were over 2000 pictures still saved to the phone. She thought she deleted everything. Going through them, I found about 20 dick pictures of different men as well as screen-shoted texts between her and other guys discussing the sex they had together. The time stamp on them was dated before and after I left for a different college.
Once I told her about the pictures she said it was a "mistake" and tried saying she was pregnant after our weekend together which was clearly false. I broke up with her soon after as I felt betrayed. This was a year ago.
A week after we broke up she started dating another guy. A year has passed since our break up and she is now asking for the iPhone back. She said the phone is for her "dying mother". What should I do? | Ex gave me her old iPhone that was filled with incriminating evidence of her cheating. A year later she wants it back. |
t3_30rtqz | relationships | I (18 F) spent an entire night talking to crush (19 M) and things were great but now he's distancing himself | We've been talking for weeks and finally hung out together last weekend and spent the night in his room cuddling and talking. At 6:00 in the morning he walked me to my dorm and asked me to hang out again. I got nervous and he seemed to be too, he's very quiet and shy. He told me "You're driving me crazy" and when I laughed and asked what he meant he replied "I'm just gonna go for it" and kissed me. We then said goodnight and in the days following he was his usual self but in the last 4 or so days he's made minimal contact with me and has posted a picture on his social media of him and another girl, whom I don't know, hanging out at a party. I had asked him to coffee before that party and he agreed but in the hour before we were supposed to meet up rescheduled on me so we moved our plans to today. But today he texted me and said he was again too busy today to hang out but hasn't told me when he will be able to hang out and hasn't responded to my text all day.
My question for you all is; I'm I being paranoid to think that he's changed his mind and is too shy/uncomfortable with being upfront or is actually too busy to pursue this right now? | I'm self conscious and can't tell if he's into me still or is moving on and too nice to let me down. |
t3_f4q8j | AskReddit | Ok Reddit, another question about moving. | I posed a question a while back about the possibility of moving to Michigan (lost of family, possibility of work) and got a LOT of informative feedback, both positive and negative. The possible job opportunity in Michigan has passed, and to be honest I'm a little relieved. If it does happen, I would rather a move there not take place in the dead of winter.
Moving on - Possible job in Dallas, TX. This time, instead of just asking "Hey everyone, convince me to move/not move to Texas" I thought I'd just pose a general question about what are the nicest/best/whatever places to live? I'm in Southern California, but obviously interested in a potential move both for work and for just a different lifestyle. I've considered moving abroad, but that opens a whole other can of worms. Anyhow, any input on where you live or have lived, why you liked it or didn't like it, etc...will be greatly appreciated, and likely a lot more informative that just reading wiki articles about different cities. | Tell me about the state/city you live/work in and why you think someone would/wouldn't like to move there. |
t3_2p6gqb | Advice | Struggling to know what to do | Hello all so a bit of backstory; i'm 22 years old currently working full time as a Kitchen Porter/Commi chef, i'm also in 2nd year of a Software Development course slowly letting it all fail. I've lived by myself in a flat but had to move back home because i couldn't find a job where i was at. Me and brother live and look after ourselves (our parents are only back home for a month in a year).
I was studying to be an accountant but hated that, so i tried to pick something i was interested in. I enjoyed working on games, and working with people. But once i hit 2nd year i just couldn't find the time to work on stuff properly, i needed the money badly. So i'm in the midst of resitting the module i failed, watching it fail again. My coursework will be late, i'm pretty certain i can pass the exam in a month but my coursework i find just to difficult to wing it.
I've fucked up i know and haven't found the time to work on my coursework, i could blame the crazy 12+hour shifts but i know other people work much longer then me and find the time to do many many things.
I'm honestly scared because i'm 22, i don't know what the fuck it is i'm meant to do. I hate working in a kitchen but it pays the bills, but i think if i'm to be successful in this degree (if i get a chance to resit it in August)
I might be able to get a resit in August but i'm just scared i'm not where i should be at 22, and i don't know who to talk to,letting everyone down. | Fucked up again, cant find time to do things whilst working i job i hate, don't know what to do |
t3_4wnypo | askwomenadvice | I (26/m) have a crush on a girl. Takes too long to reply, and tells me she feels embarrassed as excuse. How could I proceed? | She is very cute, I met her traveling in another city with her mom, and because we live in the same city and we were going to return on the same flight, we spent a lot of time together. We got along well, I thought that she was into me... I never directly hit on her, but kind of teased her and had a good time, even her mom suggested her to do some activity together with me.
My phone is damaged and couldn't retrieve the number she gave me, so I added her on Facebook. She took like a week to add me as a friend, then like another week to reply to my message saluting. The other interactions have been like one reply a week on her part. I ended up thinking that she doesn't care about me at all, which was weird because I got along with her very well.
I liked her so much that I thought that I should try something before not contacting her anymore, so I asked her if she would like to go out with me because I like her. She replied "Oh, you like me!, you can talk to me that way :)" and "what do you like about me?" with some surprise smiley faces. I told her exactly how I felt about her, how beautiful she is to me and what aspects of her personality I enjoy... then, no reply at all!!
Just communicating to her has been stressing somehow, because I really like her!, before giving up again... I sent a simple "hi, how have you been", thinking to myself that that was pathetic, pursuing a girl who is ignoring me, and she replied, "I get too shy!!, how embarrassing". I replied to her that we can talk about another topic, so I wrote about something else...
Don't know what to do! Any advice? | Met girl who seemed interested, ignores me in instant messaging, she shows some interest and then she hides. Don't know what to do. |
t3_2lqxah | relationships | Should I (17M) get back together with my ex (18M)? | My ex boyfriend(18M) broke up out of the blue in the beginning of August and just a few hours ago asked if I(17M) would want to get back together. He never cheated on me or betrayed my trust but never really let himself feel anything. We have been broken up for longer than the relationship lasted but when we were last together was the last time I was happy and not self destructive. I've really only just started to tolerate talking with him again and I wasn't expecting anything like that until he said he wanted to help me break some bad habits I've formed since he broke up. He says he never stopped loving me even though he ended it only because he was afraid of hurting me. I don't think that I hated him but that I just hated him not being with me.
Sorry for the wall of text but it's 3am and I'm on mobile and have to work in the morning. | faithful ex bf wants to get back together and idk what I should do. I need someone with experience in this field to give some advice |
t3_3iqohp | relationships | I [24/f] found pictures saved to my boyfriends [28/m] phone. Worried he might be cheating. | Sorry if this is a jumbled mess but it literally happened like 20 minutes ago and I'm still shaking.
A couple days ago I noticed my bf added a new girl on facebook. No big deal. Then I noticed that he was liking every other picture she posted. This raised some flags for me because back when we were just dating there was another girl he was doing the same thing with and it turns out he was flirting and chatting with her behind my back.
I don't normally do this but he ran out for a moment and left his phone behind so I took a peek and seen he was saving pictures of her on his phone, along with pictures of his ex, and there was another one of him shirtless in our bathroom mirror (I'm assuming he sent it to her).
I know he snapchats other girls, I don't care about that because it's not like he isn't allowed to have other female friends but saving pictures of a select few on his phone bothers me. I also found he's been watching more porn lately, like when I'm in the shower. I know I'm not his type (he's into petite red heads and I'm a curvy brunette) but this is just making me feel like shit about myself.
Should I confront him about it? Is he cheating on me? We're moving into a place together in a week and I'm scared shitless now of what is going to happen. We started dating last June and officially got together in November so we've only been together for a bit over a year. | Found pictures of other girls saved to my bf's phone. Was flirting with another girl in the past and now I'm worried he's doing it again. |
t3_498rft | relationships | Me [20F] hopelessly crushing on a boy [21M] at school but don't think he likes me... Advice needed! | I wasn't sure about posting this, but I don't know where else to ask for some advice! Ok so here are the deets:
I'm in university and on exchange for a semester in a school abroad. As an exchange student, I met all the other exchange students and made some pretty strong friendships! One of them, a boy from a different country, let's call him Nate, spoke to me on the first day and I instantly liked him.
At first it was just a friendly "like;" Nate was very kind and sweet and super cute. But recently (I've been on exchange for 2 months now) I've started to really crush on him... I see him many times a week and he's always friendly to me, but the thing is that he's friendly to everybody!
I know he's single, and he knows I'm single... He hasn't done anything to show disinterest but I also can't get a read on his niceness because he's just a sweetheart all around.
I've only got 3 more months in this country, and I don't know what to do! I'm hesitant to say anything, because if he rejects me then I'll have to face him and our friends for the next three months in total shame... but I feel like I'll regret it if I don't do anything.
Please help me! | I'm hopelessly crushing on a boy in my foreign exchange school but I don't know how to approach this without embarrassing myself or regretting it. |
t3_25i0is | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Girlfreind [15 F] 8 months, Im happy with my girlfriend but i have a crush on another girl and its getting worse | Im dating ''Jill'' for 8 months now and ive had a crush on ''candy'' for i think just over a year i never asked her out and i dont even talk to her im not freinds with her even but she was in my math class and i liked her. for the first 2 months maybe i didnt even think about candy but since then shes always pops up in my head i wouldnt leave jill or anything for her but i was in the audataurim at school today listening to sound checks and candy was there too and she has the most amazing singing voice and i cant stop thinking about her all day... she told my friend and i her twitter and i went on it and im always checking it.... she has a youtube channell.... ive been listening to her singing and watching her videos for 30 minutes now....... am i a bad a person? i feel bad to hide this from jill but i know i wont leave her for candy or anything....... | had a crush on this girl while dating my gf and its gotten out of control recently am i a bad person? |
t3_27cr8d | tifu | TIFU by pressing "CTRL + Z" | So I'm backing up my photos in my cellphone and you now know where this is going.
I press CTRL + X to cut the photos (instead of CTRL + C to copy) from my phone because I did not want to spend 10 second of my time to delete them all later.
I press CTRL + V into a new folder on my laptop. They all appeared perfectly in the new folder.
For some goddamn reason I was unsatisfied with moving my photos and decided to undo everything and do it again (impulse actions).
CTRL + Z, the folder disappears just as planned. I go back to the phone photos to CTRL + X again and the folder is empty. Woo.
It was a year's worth of pictures. Yes, I am a major idiot for not backing up earlier. Yes, I checked the recycling bin. Yes, I pressed CTRL + Y to redo. By doing so the deleted folder did come back but all its contents are gone. | I'm a dumb ass and learned that undo-ing the creation of a folder will delete everything in it and NOT return the pictures to its original place. |
t3_2cmks8 | relationships | My [22 M] grandfather [87 M] lies at the brink of death - I don't know what to do | My grandfather is old and sick, and he won't last until the end of the week. I don't know where to turn. I have so many feelings about it.
I feel guilty that I didn't visit him enough. I'm terribly afraid for the aftermath, as I will see my family in mourning (especially my dad), which I have never really done before. I'm afraid of mourning as this is all very new to me. He's been my inspiration for my entire life. His last years haven't been pretty, and it's been horrible for him and my grandmother.
Rational thought tells me that it is for the best, but his extreme anxiety and dread of dying is frightening. Emotionally I can't defend the thought of him dying being a good thing in the end. Right now he's in the hospital, doped out of his mind. Tomorrow me and my SO are going there to bid farewell. How does one say good bye for the last time? The concept is so... alien to me. I'm afraid of what he will say. I'm going to miss him so much, and I want to support my dad and younger brother through this.
I never visited him enough through his last years... I always promised I would, but shit always came up. What do I do? How do I keep it together? I need someone who has been through this to give me something, just whatever. Please. | My grandfather, my greatest inspiration in life, is about to die. Tomorrow I say good bye to him, but I don't know how. Any advice appreciated. |
t3_1jeotb | relationships | Me[19M] with my high school sweetheart [19F]. On/off for 3 years. On again, after spring quarter was off. She slept around drunkingly quite a bit, i studied. | Hey reddit, long time lurker on my other account. This is the sweetest girl in the world and we both love each other very much. But throughout various points in our relationship where i was going through some really tough stuff in my life: I've broken up with her three times now. Not becuase i didn't love/like her, i jsut needed to handle some stuff alone. Last fall, we left for college(quite far apart) and i broke it off in my attempt to be rational. We each slept with one other person, regreted it and got back together for most of fall and winter quarter. But then my studies in hard engineering were killing me and she was taking up way too much of my time, so i broke it off again. I wanted to take a break but she insisted we enver talk again. Well here comes summer and were back in our home town and were sleeping with each other and were filled with emotions.
Today, after some good loving, she asked me if I'm clean and tested...I was clean of course because i hadn't had any other partners, she on the other hand had some drunken sexcapades while we were broken up(she took teh break up quite hard, as did i). I know i can't be mad at ehr for doing what she did, but Im very torn up inside. VERY TORN UP. When I'm with her/ talking with her it becomes ok and I've communicated everything with her(we have a very open honest relationship), but I dont know how to handle all of this. Everytime, I close my eyes...well you can imagine. Our history brings me way too much pain, but for the time being.
How can i stop thinking about this and cope with it? Is this a healthy relationship? Do these things past, or do they continue to huant? | Ex gf and i took a break, she slept around. I didn't. I'm broken. help fix me. |
t3_4trjcz | relationships | Me [19F] have been with my boyfriend [20M] for 9 months, but he's leaving to go to another college | My boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months, and we both think that we're the love of each other's lives. But we're only 19 (and 20), so who knows what will happen? He's moving 11 hours away and we wont be seeing each other regularly for atleast 2 years, and that's only if I manage to get a job in the same place as him after college is over.Neither of us have cars, nor a place to stay, since we're both living in the college hostels.
He doesn't even want to miss his classes for a day so that we can spend the weekend together....
He wants to try a long distance relationship, but I don't know what to do....
He doesn't really have a plan for the future and he says that he'll probably move around all over the world for his jobs. I'm willing to spend two years apart but I need to know that we'll be together after that time. But he just says that no one knows what the future holds etc etc. I mean I know that no one can control the future, but shouldn't we at least commit to making things work no matter what we have to do ? | Boyfriend is moving away and we thought we'd spend all our lives together. Now, we don't know what to do.... |
t3_xzmrl | AskReddit | Reddit, what really terrible things have you seen a company do to its employees? | Mine comes from my old factory that I used to work at.
The job stated that you could only miss 1 week worth of work per year. Seeing as our shifts were 10 hours long, it was not hard to get to reach this limit. This was universal for every employee, even if they have been there for 15 years.
At one point an employee who had been loyal to the company for 5 years got word that his daughter was sick and in the hospital. He however was at his limit for missing work and would have been fired if he left to see his daughter. Not wanting to get fired and lose his insurance he continued to work. About 4 hours later he got word that something had gone terribly wrong and his daughter had died. Upon hearing this he leaves work, and the company, refusing to understand, fired him for leaving work.
We were all brought back into a back room the next day at work and told to not let this ex employee back into the building at all. That they were decently sure that he would not get violent, but just in case do not let him in. Apparently the guys who worked in the air conditioned offices who fired him were afraid that he was going to come looking for them. | company fired guy for leaving work when he heard his daughter had died in the hospital, after they refused to let him leave to go see her hours before. |
t3_3pnccr | relationships | Boyfriend (m 28) of 6 years is hoarding porn and I (f 23) don't know how to feel about it | Using a new account incase he sees this. To clarify, I have no issue with him watching porn, I do too. My problem is he's saving hundreds of pictures of women on his phone and tablet, and I mean hundreds. I just don't understand why he's doing it. I've discovered he looks at albums of women on imgur every night before he goes to sleep, when I'm lying naked next to him.
It's seriously hurting my feelings and self esteem because these women are waaaaay above how I look, and most are Asian, and seeing as I'm Caucasian I'm beginning to think he's regretting being with me. He doesn't have any photos of me, only all these women. Some are porn stars some are amateur. I've tried talking to him about it but all I get is "oh I just save them and never look at them. What are you doing snooping anyway? I'll delete them". And he deletes them, and then saves more the next night.
I'm at my wits end, I've never felt so unwanted in my life. Is it time I took the hint and left? | boyfriend is hoarding porn and it's making me wonder if he even wants to be with me anymore. Should I leave? |
t3_2g77ay | Advice | Need some advice about what to do with my life. | This is my first time posting here as I thought it was really the only place I can speak my mind without fear of judgment. So here's my story:
I'm currently a university student, a junior, majoring in biology. The reason I majored in biology was because I had hopes of becoming a dentist. Not for any reasons other than a chance at a high paying job and better future. But now as I think about it more and more, I'm really unhappy about this decision. I don't think I'll be happy even if I do make it as a dentist. What I really want to do is study psychology and hopefully learn enough to become a social psychologist or therapist of some sort. I want to help those with social anxiety, introversion, social awkwardness, depression, and alexithymia. I have mild cases of all these psychological problems also, but over the last few years of my life, I've been able to conquer and overcome some of these challenges. Now what I want to do in the future is to help others with these problems. I want to make a difference in someone else's life in a more positive way. From browsing reddit for so long, I realized that many users here have the same psychological problems as I do. Some overcome them, however there are still many others that remain hopeless. So here's my main concern. I don't know how to tell my parents or anyone for that matter that this is what I am truly passionate about. I've already told so many people that I want to be a dentist and I feel like I would be going back on my word if I do so. For one thing, I don't like it when others go back on their words about something, and also I have trouble expressing my thoughts verbally. So in the end, what do you guys think? Should I just stick it out with the whole dentistry thing and make a difference in some other way? (Eg. community service, donating to shelters, etc..) | I want to change my major but I feel like I've wasted too much time, effort, and money already. What should I do? |
t3_2iqk2c | relationships | I [24M] think I have feelings for my friend [25F] who I became recently pretty close with. Are these feelings real or just because of our situation? | First a little background on our relationship. I have known this girl, who we will call P, for around 3 years now. I met her through some mutual friends, and up until recently she was just one of the people we would occasionally go to the bars with if we were going out. Me and my friends hung out with her on a regular basis and became pretty good friends, but never really hung out with her outside of the bars. Although I thought she was fun to hang out with, I never really thought anything of her. She seemed to be a party girl who appeared to be a bit shallow.
Well we both have been going through a real rough couple of months due to some personal issues, and somehow, about 4 months ago, we started just talking to each other about our problems. We pretty much started talking every day and got pretty close through that. From what we both have said, we don't really share a lot of these things with anyone else. We are both really open with each other. Also, over the past 4 months, she has started hanging out with my group more so outside of the bars. We'll all get dinner together and just hang out.
In talking with each other every day, I've realized that there is a lot more to her than I just thought. She's actually pretty down to earth and not really the party girl I originally thought she was. I don't know if it's just because of what we are going through (a majority of both our rough patches has been due to our past relationships) but I think I am starting to develop feelings for her. Like I said, though, I don't know if these feelings are real or just me playing tricks with my head. Also, due to the fact that she has become pretty close to my group of friends, I wouldn't want to mess anything up with that. What should I do? I wouldn't want to lose the relationship we have now because we have become pretty close, but at the same time if what I am feeling is real I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity. | Me and a friend have become pretty close over the past few months and I think I might have feelings for her. What should I do and are these feelings real? |
t3_1dthpk | relationships | Is using text acceptable to break bad news if I won't see him for a week? [18F, 18M] | I need to tell a friend of mine that his touching and persistence made me very uncomfortable when we were on a tester date, even though I told him several times being touched in public without my permission (he touched under my bra) made me very uncomfortable.
We had planned on going to prom together, which is coming up pretty soon, and because of weird scheduling I won't see him in person to tell him I no longer want to go with him and that I don't have feelings for him for another week. Is sending him an email an acceptable alternative in this situation? | A date went poorly (although he didn't think so) and I want to call off prom with him so that I can relax and enjoy myself. Is text an unacceptable way of telling him this? |
t3_4c9ddl | relationships | Me [18 M] my GF [18] Have been dating for 2 years, but recently I have developed feelings for someone else | I love my girlfriend. I've helped her get through family problems, self inflictions, insecurities, and she's been there for me too. we've dated for two years and I've never cheated/msged other girls (serious.) But one day at my house party, my friend invited "old friends," one of them being the new girl. I invited my GF to the party because I didn't expect other girls than who we knew. My friends, the new girl, and I start hanging out (We thought the new girl like one of my friends.) We started talking (seriously unplanned) and it turns out she's fucking awesome and we have A LOT in common. I liked talking to her more than I do with my GF, but I still like my GF. She told me she likes me but then I told her I had a GF before anything happened so I could think about what to do, and that time is now. I want to be honest with my GF and just tell her the situation but at the same time, I'm scared she might take it badly and start cutting herself again (Am I wrong?) *There is only 2 - 3 months of high school left and we'll split ways. | In a relationship but like someone else. GF had past history of self inflicting so I want to avoid it happening again but at the same time, be honest to her and myself. |
t3_yvxo8 | relationships | M 20 having dysfunction and frustration with 20GF not sure wether i'm being selfish. | So I've just been reunited with my 20 GF of 5 months, after 3 weeks of not seeing each other, during those holidays we were very rocky. Last night when we got into bed she said she was tired from driving for 6 hours that day and that she just didn't want to rush back into that intimacy, that was fine and I respected that. I'd want her to come willing to me I don't want to be a chore or a duty to her even though I'm desperate to just make very sweet passionate sex to her.
Today when we were making out she said that while it feels different she still likes me cares for me etc but is confused. I know she's conscious of the large break from college that we have coming up, it goes for 5 months and there will be little opportunity to see each other. She said she didn't want to be together just because we were together, which I'm assuming is referring to the next six weeks before holidays.
I'd be happy to just do whatever feels natural, good and fun, which I feel for me, is to be with her. However I'm currently doing the r/nofap challenge and my sexual frustration is skewing my mind I think. I know she cares about me and has feelings for me she's said she's just confused. She knows I want sex and told me that having sex is different for each of us being that she's a modest woman and I'm a rather frisky man. I told her I wouldn't put any pressure on her to have sex with me till she's ready but she knows I have a lot of internal conflict about this. Is either of us being selfish or naive? | GF 20 and I M 20 are conflicted on our relationship because of a a large break coming up. Not sure wether being naïve. Enjoy myself or rip the band-aid. |
t3_34zfs3 | offmychest | Done with a so-called "friend" of mine | I find it funny how whenever I invite you to something I plan or ask you to come out and support me one time you always have some lame excuse. Every time I ask its always "Im busy with (insert thing here)"
Thats weird because whenever it comes to everybody else you somehow always manage to find the time. Whenever your plans fall through in my city you come to me because either everyone cancelled on you, something didn't work out or you needed to "kill some time" so you are going to kick it with me until its time to go wherever you have to go for that day.
When you lost your car keys in my house and we couldn't find them you were in tears crying because not only you lost them but you didn't have the money. I felt bad so I took a couple hundred bucks to replace the key. The key for that car was expensive because it had to be programmed and you were lucky I got paid the other day.
When I told you my father passed away all you could text me back was "thats crazy". Now I am not the type of person to throw things in peoples faces nor do I always expect things in return however I find it pathetic how you call me a "best friend" but you never had my back ever. Not once.
Every time you had a jam you always looked to me to bail you out and I did. You would never tell me anything nor invited me places. I wouldn't find out unless I logged into facebook. Since you got your license back after being suspended for 3 years I was slowly bumped out the picture.
Well im done with you. I'm glad I cut you out of my life because that has been bothering me for quite some time. I was just foolish for letting myself be used. I resolved this issue but im just mad at myself for letting this happen. Plus I don't really know who my real friends are these days... | Dont ever refer to me as one of your "best friends" if you arent going to act like a friend in the first place. |
t3_36os1g | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [18 F] 2.5years. Her good guy friend confessed he liked her | Original:
We talked for a long time about whats happening. She yelled at me a lot about how she is not going to cut him (her good friend Jake) out of her life.
I tried to set some things straight and I said its really weird how you guys text all the time still and hang out every other day (it was a group of people, not just them. Sorry for leaving that out). We ended up compromising on that they would not text as often as they would anymore. They would also hang out less (the latter I don't believe).
Anyways, we talked for a long time after that, and I told her that if he tries to kiss her, she will have to cut off all contact. If Jake tries to kiss her while she is dating me, then she would have to cut off contact. She said she would not do that.
I told her that is so stupid and the majority of the people on earth would cut off contact for someone who did that. Eventually I found out that HE DID KISS HER. Jake and Jess touched lips, but she didn't kiss back. After I found this out I made it clear that it was either me or him. I gave her some time to think.
She has not contacted me yet, but even if she chooses me, I will still be hesitant to be in this relationship still. I doubt she will cut off all contact with him though. Anyways, my relationship is probably over.
I will update again whenever something new happens! | Found out Jake kissed my girlfriend. Girlfriend has some thinking to do. Cut off contact with him or break up with me. |
t3_v90uk | relationships | Should I take him back? | My ex and I (me: 23 y/o F, ex: 23 y/o M) were together from November 2010-February 2012. He broke up with me four times, and three of the four time I took him back because he promised everything would be different.
Before the fourth, and final break up, he gave me a ring for Valentine's Day. My ex fought with me a week after he gave it to me and insisted that I wear the ring on my left ring-finger instead of my right because it is a "promise ring". He knew I felt about promise rings, but said he would get me an engagement diamond as soon as he could afford it. (So I guess it was just a temporary engagement ring?) I accepted his promise.
A week later he said he needed to talk to me. He said he thought a lot about it, and decided that I am "not worth being 'promised' to." I was devastated. He knew that I hated promise rings because two guys before him each gave me one and they (obviously) fell flat.
Self esteem ruined. I was single. I recently started dating, and even though it didn't work out I had a lot of fun with the new guy. Felt like what a casual relationship should be. Now that I'm single again, my ex wants us to be a family.
The question is, my fellow Redditors, should I risk getting crushed again for this guy? I do still love him, but I'm having a hard time trusting him. We talk about maybe dating again and he says everything is going to be different. But as far as I'm concerned, they are just words. | On-again/Off-again ex wants me to give a fifth chance. Still love him, but skeptical. Advice? |
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