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t3_254z21 | relationships | I [19 M] am abusive towards my SO [20 F] of 18 months when she tries to help me. | Hi, this is my first time posting here, so I don't know if this is the right place, but I'm seeking some help.
I have an anxiety disorder along with bipolar depression. When I get extremely frustrated with schoolwork, or when I am upset with myself, sometimes I have a panic attack and begin self-harming (hitting myself, scratching, cutting, etc.). When this happens and my girlfriend is around, her first reaction is to try and stop me. Unfortunately when she does this I impulsively will bite, pinch, or hit her so she lets go and I can continue self-harming.
This isn't something that happens often, maybe about once every month and a half, and hasn't happened for a while. I'm struggling because I know how much this hurts her and it kills me when I realize what I've done. Outside of these episodes, we have a great relationship. We are together all the time, and both express how happy we are to be with each other.
I've tried finding things online to help me, and even talked to my counselor about it. The only thing is, everything I've read online doesn't seem to fit my situation. They talk about spouses who are abusive all the time and look down on their SO. My abusiveness only shows itself when I am having a panic attack and I don't have control over myself.
Can anyone offer suggestions about what steps I can take to stop my impulses to attack her when all she is trying to do it stop me from harming myself? | I physically abuse my SO when she tries to prevent me from self-harming. What steps can I take to prevent this? |
t3_gdkg8 | relationships | Love-Triangle: Help Me | I have been dating my boyfriend for five years but we are in a long-distance relationship (different colleges, different states). This make things like fucking, cuddling, and dating very difficult. My now-best-friend at college has been amazing to me - he listens when I talk about my boyfriend, helps me with everything, and is always available to grab a bite to eat over a long, amazing conversation.
I *think* I am falling in love with him. When I am around him, I want to kiss him and fall asleep in his arms. My friends have told me it is just loneliness since I see my boyfriend so rarely and this other guy is so good to me. Let me be clear - I love my boyfriend but I think I am falling in love with my best friend.
I cannot help but wonder if beginning college in a relationship prohibited me from pursuing a relationship with my now best friend which could have been much more. I don't want to look back and wonder if I settled because it was the comfortable choice. Then again, I don't even know if my best friend feels the same way about me as I feel about him. If I kiss my best friend to find out, am I cheating? I *feel* like kissing him would tell me something but I don't know. I am really confused and would love advice. | I am in love with my boyfriend and my best friend but am afraid of change but also afraid of missing my soul mate. |
t3_20uthz | tifu | NSFW -TIFU by eating at Chipoltle while on a full stomach! | Today I had to travel away from the office for a business meeting, unfortunately I went with two other workers and I didn't drive. Knowing that it was going to be long day I got up early and my girlfriend made me French Toast, bacon and grits for breakfast. We arrive at Corporate HQ for the meeting and being a germaphobe I usually cannot take a shit away from home. The meeting goes good and we do not break for lunch meaning it's going to be a earlier end time. The meeting gets done around 2:30 and the boss tells our office that we take take the rest of the day off because we had to travel 45 minutes to the meeting. The two knuckleheads I am working with decide that they want to get lunch, I just want to go home. I get outnumbered and we go to Chipoltle. I cannot resist and get the Barbacoa Burrito and I have them load that baby up, extra rice and meat! So we are leaving and it's 45 minutes to the office and then I have another 25 minute ride from there to home. As we get near to the office I feel like I'm about to shit myself right there in the backseat of the car. I make to my car, and now I am clenching my sphincter trying to hold the beast in my bowels. There were a few times I just wanted to surrender and just shit my pants to alleviate the pain. I make it home and I smile as straddle the ceramic throne and squeezed out the monster inside. Something was different, there was a sharp pain and the tinge of blood as I wiped. I decided to take a shower to get a good cleaning, I feel what is causing this pain, I have a bump on my rim about the size of a small grape, I grabbed the handheld mirror to get a better look. I am worried and dry off, after a few minutes of google image searches I realize what it is. WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF HEMMORHOIDS. So now I am sitting here wondering how long the pain will last. I sent my gf to get me some Preperation H. | ate too much food, held in shit for >60 minutes, got hemmorhoid, now in pain. |
t3_2jigx3 | relationships | Me [19F] with my boyfriend of a year/ year .5 [20 M] wants to go to Canada/strip club for his birthday- and I disagree | This past Monday, My boyfriend broke up with me at the beginning of an event and insisted that I participated even though I was a total wreck. He had a friend with him, so his position was a little different. I was alone.
After the event, we were driving home and he was sure he wanted to break-up. I couldn't let go of course, and kept asking him if that is what he truly wanted. It came off as he was set on his decision, and ready to move on.
When pulling up to my house, and asking him again if he was sure- he just looked at me, reached over and said he didn't want to break up. At this point, I'm extremely upset with a stomach ache and migraine, trying to figure out why he didn't want me anymore (he ended up staying the night). This went on until Tuesday.
I took some classes with him, which happened to fall on the day after this event. The entire time we were in English, he was telling me how he wanted alone time, and he doesn't see himself having my babies or marrying me.. LOOK, the only baby I want is a degree in college right now...
So, after a bit of talking, he looked at me and said "yes, we can stay together.. BUT, I'm going to the strip club for my birthday".
One of the main reasons for most of our disagreements is because I feel he disregards a lot of my feelings. Which, I began to explain to him how uncomfortable that would make me if he went to the strip club.. I've already allowed him to go once, which was hard enough and I gave him no fuss..
I asked him to compromise with me, and not go to the strip club and find an alternative- he said, "what if we just go to Canada and not go to a strip club?" This angers me because, the people he wants to go with he's always talking poorly about, and they don't support relationships (they got a girl to kiss him when he was with his past GF).
_______________________________________________________ | Although, the entire time we've been dating he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him- I'm really worried about him going out with those people/to Canada for the night... do I let him go? |
t3_13f6ni | AskReddit | Crappy Apartment advice. What rights do I have as a renter? | 3 months ago I moved into a basement unit apartment. I have now discovered that if anything is leaned up against walls (furniture, decor, unfinished art projects, ect.) black mold will grow. I expect a little bit of mold here and there, seeing as its a basement apartment, but this is getting out of hand. Its even growing on my guitar case. We also have the worst water ever, its yellow (think of that scene in Walk the Line when Johnny makes a comment about the prisoners having to drink 'yellow water') and when we turn our baseboard heaters on they reek of cat pee. I am a clean person and we try to keep the place ventilated, but it's winter and hard to keep windows open especially when the heaters are covered in cat piss.
What measures can be taken with the rental company to see these things fixed?
Also im almost paying half a grand a month to live in this shit hole. | Mold, yellow water, cat pee (I don't own a cat) Is taking care of any of this the landlord/rental-company's responsibility to fix? |
t3_2vnj8y | tifu | TIFU By entering strangers car. | Happened a few years ago. I lived in one small town a went to pre-university school (not from USA) in another larger town. Each weekday I'd take the bus 40 minutes each way.
That particular friday I classes from 8:10 to 15:10 and where meeting my cousin and her boyfriend at the bus station at ~17:00, as we were invited to help plan a bachelor party in another city. I arrived at the bus station a little late having done some school work after classes. A little tired I entered the first car I thought were my aunts (my cousin borrowed the car), but it was to to strangers that were on the front seat. Older ladies and they ignored me, until I apologised and got out. Quickly found my cousin at another parking area a few meters away. My aunts car wasn't to similar but she had changed car within a half year before, and both were red. | I was a little late and tired, then I entered the wrong car with two older ladies in instead of my cousin and her boyfriend. Apologised and found the right car. |
t3_1ii001 | relationships | Me[19F] with my ex[19M] and current boyfriend[18M] 10 months, flip flop relationships | Last fall of 2012 I was still seeing my boyfriend of 3 years who was highly emotionally abusive. I ended up breaking up with him March 2013.
When I started college in fall 2012, I made a male friend, who ended up falling madly in love with me over the course of knowing me for 5 months.
Once I had broken up with my boyfriend of a few years, I ended up developing feelings for me and loverboy's close friend.
Well it turns out the person I had chosen was not right for me. He expected to pretty much have control of my life, was hot and cold about the dating thing and left me on and off, then ended up disowning me completely about a month ago.
The 'nice guy' close friend who was in love with me and I are trying to give a relationship a shot because he is the nicest guy I've known and the fact that I wronged him and he still cares about me shows how patient and forgiving he is of everything. We both know I fucked up and want to make things better.
Am I being too hasty? Is this wrong??? I feel significantly happier with this person that I have with the last 2 people I dated over the past year. | Left abusive boyfriend of 3 years, friend was in love with me, dated his best friend instead, his best friend broke my heart, now dating my friend who loved me before |
t3_3718rr | relationships | Me [19 M] with [19 F] - long distance. She says she doesn't know me well enough? | So I've completely fallen for this girl. The problem is that she lives in a different city. I started talking to her online, and we will talk for a solid 4 hours over skype video and even longer (often all day until late at night) with instant messaging.
I really, really like her, and asked her if she would like to try long distance. She said that our long chats aren't really special, and she does it with lots of different friends. She was a lot nicer than this, I just want to keep the post simple
She said that she doesn't know if she likes me yet because we have only met in person a handful of times. But I mean...we've spent a *lot* of time chatting online and getting to know each other. What do you guys think, does this likely indicate that she isn't into me? Or she isn't interested in dating in general?
Thank you.... | Crazy over a girl, she lives in a different city. Lots in common. Start talking online - conversations last 4+ hours. Doesn't want to be in a relationship. Does she like me? |
t3_15v0gr | pettyrevenge | Tasty tasty revenge | I love this subreddit,so I thought I'd share my own tale.
I used to date a girl awhile back,who turned out to be a major whore. Buuut....like every dumbass lovestruck male,I didnt believe it until one night I kinda saw it with my own two eyes. This hurt me. Bad. So I did what any heartbroken man would do:I called around until I found a female friend of mine who was willing to be my hookup that night. I drove over to her city(about 40 mi away) and we met,and after talking,we commenced to humping. I went raw,and on the dirt road,and she made a mess all over me(not a nasty mess,the nice "oh you rocked my world" mess.)I went home that morning,and went straight to bed. I never showered,and I stank like sex. She woke me up that afternoon....with a bj. I never told her,and glad I didnt after the break up. I found out she'd been banging ALOT of guys....I felt stupid but smiled at the thought she went atm with a stranger and never knew. | Caught ex cheating on me, cheated on her, got bj next day,ex went atm with other girl and never knew. |
t3_1l0pcx | AskReddit | What are some non-tacky sayings to put on a birthday shirt for a guest? | My sister's 18th birthday is coming up and my mom really wants the guests to wear matching shirts and to keep as a souvenir. But, sayings like "She's 18!" or "It's her birthday!" just seem so overdone and tacky. So, Reddit, can you give me ideas that will appeal to male and female teenagers? Preferably with a reference to basketball (as most of her friends like it) or video games (Call of Duty in particular) or rap.
She's like your typical black guy-teenager, to put it into perspective. As a reference, her shirt says something like "LEVEL UP" or something about Prestige Mode.
She also can't stand puns (yeah I don't know what's wrong with her either), so please avoid them. Thanks in advance! I know this is a sorta hard thing to request. | I need a funny birthday motto that will appeal to teens (both genders) to put on their shirts for my sister's party. |
t3_4ltzah | relationships | I (31/f) refuse to kiss my fiancee (29/f) b/c I caught her smoking cigarettes? She thinks I'm punishing her? | Throwaway because she knows my real reddit account. I caught my fiancee smoking cigarettes near our house and she tried to hide it from me. She rarely smokes, only when she's very stressed. I am very sensitive to smell and cannot for the life of me stand the smell of cigarette smoke.
My fiancee is very smart (graduated from a top 10 college) and has always been big on fitness so I don't know why she's doing this when she HERSELF has talked about how she thinks all smokers should quit. I know she's stressed out about work, but she herself has said cigarettes are not the answer.
We got in a big fight tonight because I didn't want to kiss her. She says I'm punishing her for smoking cigs. The truth is reddit I know I am but I can't bring myself to "fake it". I'm repulsed by anything that has to remotely do with cigarettes or the smell they have and to be honest, I kind of want to emotionally distance myself from my fiancee for a little while and have some space to myself. Am I wrong for feeling this way? She doesn't understand this and got very upset when I didn't want to cuddle. She thinks I'm angry and disgusted with her and she feels like sh*t, but I can't make myself not disgusted or not want to be emotionally distant. It's like I'm shutting her down and she can sense this. | caught fiancee smoking and don't want to kiss or cuddle with her. she thinks i'm punishing her and is very hurt. |
t3_1n722u | relationships | I don't know what to do about this girl. | I'm 14 and from the United Kingdom. I was friends with this girl (also 14) as a child, we both went to a very small school and we got along very well. I really like her and I think she liked me too.
Now here's the tricky part. She was only at my school half the years, the other half was spent in America. When we both left the school she went back to LA, this is because both her parents are very famous actors.
Recently I was organising a get-together for my old class, and saw she had Facebook (there are multiple other accounts pretending to be her). I hadn't spoken to her for four years so sent her a friend request. She accepted my friend request, when I messaged her she seemed really happy to talk to me.
I messaged her asking whether she would be in the UK for the reunion, she said no but would love to Skype with us all.
I really care about this girl and I don't know what to do, we're an ocean apart, plus due to her parents she is not free very often.
What should I do? | I really like this girl from my childhood school, she is across the Atlantic due to celebrity parents. We live very different lives but I'm really into her. I don't know what I should do. |
t3_357ds6 | relationships | My boyfriend (34/M) of one year won't tell me (24/F) what he does for a living. | I'll try to keep this as possible. I'm currently getting my masters degree at a university in Moscow. I moved here to get this degree a year ago. I met my boyfriend while I was out clubbing with some people I go to university with. He's funny, charming and basically everything I look for in a boyfriend. When we first spoke about what we do for a living he just told me that I shouldn't worry about it, as long as he can take me out on fancy dates.
I laughed it off at first, but we've been together for a **YEAR** now and he still won't tell me more than 'I work for the government'.
A few weeks ago I was drunk and angry and badgered him and he flipped out on me and said something along the lines of 'As long as I buy you shit, take you on all the dates you want and pay for our upcoming vacations, what I do for a living is none of your concern. Certain things are better left unsaid. It's better for both, you, and me.'
To me this just sounds like straight from a bad movie, but idk what to do. I love this man and whatever he does, it certainly pays well (he has a pretty big apartment in one of the best parts of Moscow and drives two really nice cars).
I don't know if this should be a deal breaker for me. It just bugs me a lot. We've been together for a year and I just want to know what my bf does for a living. Thats not too much to ask for, is it?
When I've slept over, he always left the house at 7 in the morning, while wearing a suit (which is odd to me, because he apparently works for the government, yet he's covered in tattoos from head to toe (literally). He has visible neck and hand tattoos)
I've met friends of his as well and they appear to know as much as I do. I just don't get it. | My boyfriend won't tell me what he does for a living and it's bothering me. What could be the reason for that? |
t3_4r992t | relationships | I 26F am meeting my boyfriend 29M parents and siblings for the first time tonight. I'm so nervous I need some words of advice. | Hi! This might seem very juvenile but due to location issues I have never met my boyfriends family. They are all in town for the 4th since my boyfriend Parker and I live in a very festive 4th of July state. Parker and I have been together for 2 years
I am SO nervous. I know his family adores him and he is kind of like their golden boy. All of his siblings are married except for him, and he flat out told me I am the first girl he's ever introduced to his family. He didn't want to ever introduce someone he didn't want to marry.
I am really excited but feeling a lot of pressure. I have bought 3 different outfits and feel like I'm 16 getting ready for the prom. I need to chill I would love just some words of comfort and advice. | boyfriend has never introduced a girl to his family. I'm meeting then tonight. Nervous, need advice + words of comfort. |
t3_4aolgr | relationship_advice | I [21/M] want to get to know a girl I share some classes with | Hi, so first of all I've been taking dace (hip hop) classes for the past 4-5 months. In the last 2 months a girl's been joining our beginners' classes and I kind of took a liking to her but I'm a very shy person and I tend to find it hard to approach people, much more those I find attractive... It's taking me this long to befriend the people in my class so I decided to ask around if anyone knew her so I could talk to her and get to know her, however no one knew her and she wasn't exactly talking to anyone during class. I'm now sharing a couple more clases with her and last night while we were in one I got paired with her for a "sexy choreography" and I tried to get a conversation starting despite how awkward it was. I asked her about her name first and well we had to stare at each other during the class... and well, her looking at me in the eyes really hit something in me as cheesy as it may sound. We didn't talk much after and honestly I'm now excited to see her again and get to know her but I think she only attends class once a week and I don't think that's gonna be any good. I also somehow found her on facebook but I'm reluctant to just add her when we have no friends in common, not even classmates or people from the school... | Met a girl in class now I want to get to know her without having to wait to see her once a week in such a short period of time. |
t3_33gvru | relationships | I am (21m) struggling to make peace with my child's mom (21f) 2 year rocky relationship. | Struggling with what to do about my child's mother who I love.
Our relationship was not long. I explained the situation in another post here.
We were great but after she got pregnant things went downhill. She was still living with her ex who she made believe was the father and I was gone nowhere to be seen.
Long story short, I came back we tried things again for a few months and it wasn't the same, her ex was aware of me and the situation but was still there and is to this day. I could not get over the fact the she was still involved, and although nothing between them, this made me insecure.
I worked with it for awhile but our relationship was not healthy because of my concerns. We split again and agree to try and work things out.
Basically I find out that soon and probably before the end of our relationship the second time she was seeing someone else as friends with benefits for awhile. She says it's not necessarily late for me and we weren't talking. She said she loves me and is waiting for me?
What the hell do I do? I love my kid and will always be there for them. Is it worth trying to make it work with her mother? I feel as if she does not respect our history and is using me as a plan b.
I did not see other women and she knows this. I just feel torn and worthless. She told me she loves me and is waiting but sleeps with another guy? I did terrible things,I am aware that I pushed her away but I feel strung along | I love her and she says she wants to work things out with me as friends without making commitments right now. But clearly she is moving on? What do I do? |
t3_1d5uly | relationship_advice | I (21F) had been trying to break things off with my bf (23M) but when I did, I came back days later. I need help. | We have been together for 9 months now. But I have had doubts earlier in the relationship and had thought of breaking up. I have felt stuck and miserable for the past few months and it's starting to tear me down. As he said, we have to work on our relationship. But I feel like I'm not doing enough for him. I try to spend as much time together and talk through our problems. I also make sure to do sweet things for him like gifts, surprises and baked goodies which I do love to do. But I feel like it doesn't make him happy. I feel like I've been trying so hard to make things work for someone I no longer have feelings for.
Before, whenever I try to break up with him, a special occasion or problem would come up. And I feel like my timing is off. So it got postponed month after month. When I finally summed up the courage to tell him what I've decided. I felt so terrible. And I don't know what came over me to come back. I don't understand why I did this. I'm seriously out of my mind and it's starting to break me. Why would I come back to a relationship I've been trying to get away from? It just doesn't make sense.
I would like to ask for some guidance to help me understand and how to approach my problem. Thank you in advance. | Stuck in a miserable relationship. Broke up but came back again. About to go insane thinking how irrational my actions are. |
t3_3ddfwm | relationships | Me (23F) with a guy I met (28M), how to prevent being a rebound? | This is a throwaway because of friends knowing my account, though they'll prob figure it out anyway.
So I met a guy at a work thing, and we really hit it off. We spent hours chatting, and there was a mutual click.
After I left he texted me, so we continued to chat and met up.
However, he just split up with his live in ex of several years, a week or so before meeting me. He said it had been a long time coming, they had been struggling for about half a year now.
I've currently told him he should probably get some space from me, to figure out what he wants to do in his life, and to wrap things up with his ex.
The space thing is pretty hard, but manageable. However, I've been wondering, now I haven't spoken to him in a week.. how long would it take to move on from a relationship of 5 years?
Would it be better if I "set him free" and maybe call him in November or something, or would it be okay to start casually dating after a month or two?
I do feel like he should move out before seeing me more often, that would be unhealthy if he'd date me whilst living with her. He agrees but also says he thinks I'm amazing and he doesn't want to let me "get away". Help, please? | met a great guy who just split with his live in ex. Still has to move out, how do I avoid being his rebound? |
t3_1tckzy | relationships | Me [25F] found out my SO [25M] of over 2 years, cheated on me 4 months ago | I recently found out my SO was cheating on me 4 months ago. We've been together for over 2 years. He had done it before a year ago and I gave him a second chance. I thought things were great between us. His last ex who he was cheating on me with messaged me saying they slept together 4 times and he was telling her he'd always love her.
I broke up with him, blocked his number and social networking sites, got rid of photos, memories, everything. He continued to try and contact to me to apologize and tell me how much he loves me even using reddit to message me.
Its been a week since the break up and I just need advice from people who have been cheated on. I still miss him and I'm not acting upon that. I'm not texting him or anything but the pain is just so unbearable. If anyone can just..give me some hope or advice on how to get through this, that'd be much appreciated.. | boyfriend of two years cheated on me after giving him a second chance, broke up with but need advice on how to move. |
t3_3p84rc | relationships | I [25 M] cheated on my Girlfriend [20] of 18 months, and she just found out. We are going to try and make it work but she wants to know all the details. Should I tell her everything or leave out some details | I know this sounds sick and crazy, but it was something I always fantasized about doing, ever since I was cheated on by one of my ex girlfriend. I never had an opportunity to do it until now. I really love my girlfriend and I want to spend the rest of my life with her... I just wanted to get it out my system now.
Anyway she found out while going through my phone when I was sleeping. She suspected something was up.
She knows we had sex but not exactly sure what we did. I told her we just did oral... Should I give her all the details? Will it do more harm than good? | I still want to be with her so what I tell her must not be jeopardize our future. I don't mind taking the guilt upon myself. |
t3_cwrj3 | AskReddit | What could cause this ping inconsistency? | First, I average a decently high ping (~200 in l4d2, tho ping is wierd in that game) but it will sporadically spike (even at 3:30am?) The connection i use is a wireless belkin router that is unprotected. I live in a college apartment complex and roomates wont pay for internet, so this is what everyone uses.
I can only imagine how many people use it but currently its summer, its a ghost town here.. and it spikes randomly. it would make more sense if it were consistent but best i can figure is it is broken from the orgy of internet users on it. perhaps someone knows a more technical answer as to why it would behave that way.
what was strange is it was fine for alot of the time during the school year. i would bet a reset would fix it. | I use an unprotected router for internet that sometimes works well but sporadically creates huge ping fluctuations. Why does it fluctuate even when hardly anyone is active? |
t3_4l6lne | Advice | Receiving constant criticisms from "friends"/roommates for not being into the same things as much as they are. | So I recently moved in with two old friends from High School with my wife in an effort to save some cash for a year. We're all pretty nerdy people, but I would rate my two roommates as "Otaku" class who ONLY watch Anime and play video games/watch let's plays. I like a few anime's here and there, and I'll probably play games for a total of 3-4 hours each week, but overall it's not who I really am anymore. I'm more into spending time with my wife/friends outside the house, playing music, going to bars, etc, while still holding on to the "Nerd Culture" I came from through *some* books, tv shows, & games.
Recently though, my roommates have taken to insulting the things that I like and claiming I'm a "bad friend" for not taking hours out of my day to watch the shows they like and play the games they play (I work an 8-5 and try not to stay up late, I value my free time very very much). I try to calmly tell them that I'm just not into what they are in many different ways that I can, but they still end up insulting what I like as "Dumb, stupid, casual". When I say I don't want to watch on their anime series they result to "Well don't you like good shows? Because you obviously don't" or if I don't want to play their games (They mostly play Souls series games) they insult my usual tastes, calling me "Casual" and saying I don't want to play their games because I "Suck", not understanding I don't receive satisfaction from playing those games.
This has ultimately led to me just staying in my room mostly because every conversation with them turns to them pushing their tastes on me. Is there a better way to tell them no? I try my hardest to be polite and respect their tastes, but I'm not getting any of that sentiment back. Our lease ends in 6 months and I'm definitely, definitely not living with them again, but it's been wearing me down for the first 6. | My roommates are being incredibly snobbish about their nerdy tastes and insult me in the process. Trying my hardest to be nice but idk what to do anymore. |
t3_2u4gig | relationships | Me [17M] met a girl over Tinder [16F] a few weeks ago, met once but haven't met again | About a month ago, I was using Tinder and came upon a cute girl who I swiped right on and ended up making a match. We talked for awhile and we like the same music, have some similar interests and really hit it off. A basketball game was coming up and I asked her if she wanted to go, and she said yes so we went and in my opinion it went really well. However, it's been about 3 weeks since the game and we haven't done anything else. Is that too long? She's always saying how she's super busy during the weekends and doesn't have time to hang or go out. What should I say to her? She legitimately seems interested through her texts, always saying how funny I am, agreeing with me, sending cute snapchats, etc. (Never been in a relationship before lol.) | Met a girl over Tinder, hit it off pretty well, went to a basketball game and it's been a month without seeing each other but she seems interested still - what do I do? |
t3_4zq5jd | tifu | TIFU by going about my day despite being sick | (Sorry about the crappy format-on mobile)
So I live in WA and for the past few days it's been hot as fuck like ranging between 80-90 degrees. Yeah I know some places have it worse but this is hot as shit to me. My room gets extremely hot during the summer and last night was the worst of it.
(Ok also for some reason, homes in WA don't usually have AC/central air)
Anyway, I woke up the other night with a really high fever,nausea,and headache and I just thought "oh I probably just caught something from work" and drank a bunch of water, washed my face, took some Tylenol and went back to sleep. I woke up still kinda dizzy and my body temp down so I proceeded to run my morning errands.
After leaving the grocery store and walking across the parking lot to my car, I started feeling feverish again (it's only like 8am and it's already pretty hot) and then I blacked out.
Next thing I knew, I woke up at the emergency room with my older sister in the room. apparently it was so hot in my room the other night that I had a heat stroke | I was having a heat stroke and chose to ignore it and went on with my day; ended up fainting in the parking lot |
t3_4f8r0o | relationships | Am I (53F) being unreasonable to want to increase my husband's (55M) life insurance? | If this would be a better question to post to a financial subreddit, please let me know.
My husband is a terrible driver. He has totaled three cars and has had multiple other car accidents in the 20+ years we've been together -- all his fault. When we go out together, I drive more often than not because I'm more afraid to take my eyes off the road when he is driving than I am when I am driving.
He wants to buy a motorcycle and I am majorly concerned that this will result in his demise. I have voiced my concerns about this, but he's hell-bent on getting one. (He had bikes in his younger years, before we met...and never had an accident.)
We have always been pretty financially frugal and usually agree about how to spend money. We have a very nice life together. At this point, we can afford a bike. We have about ~$100K left on our home mortgage (house is worth ~600K) and have a son who is a sophomore in college (and pay his tuition and living expenses). We have no other debt. We have decent retirement savings and my husband has a pension, but we don't have a ton of liquid cash. We both have always worked, but my husband makes about twice what I do (he makes ~$125K a year). In short, we can easily afford to pay a higher life insurance premium.
Here's my take: My husband is an adult and, if he wants a bike, he can buy one. I made it very clear that I'm not crazy about the idea and have concerns that he will end up killed or seriously injured. I suggested that, if he really wanted to buy a bike, we increase in life insurance policy (from the current $250K to at least a million). He kind of flipped out intimated I was hoping/wanting/planning on him dying if he bought a bike and vehemently said he does not want to spend extra money on increasing his life insurance premium. | I am concerned that my husband will kill himself if he buys a motorcycle and I want to increase his life insurance. Does my idea come across as opportunistic/gold-diggerish? Or does it make sense to you? |
t3_2z5a8c | relationships | How do I (21F) tell my SO (24M) that I have feelings for my coworker? | So I'd like to start this off by saying that my SO and I have been together for about 5 years. We have discussed marriage, but it isn't likely to happen for at least another 2 years due to school and money (or lack thereof). Lately we haven't been seeing each other as often because he's always busy or our schedules just never match up.
Consequently, I have been working a lot and have developed a really really big crush on one of my coworkers and I think my coworker might have feelings for me too. I don't even want him to find out that I have a boyfriend, and I know that is a horrible thought for me to have. It scares me a lot because I probably wouldn't have ever even thought of a guy as more than a friend in the last 5 years and now I am....
How do I tell my SO in a way that won't hurt his feelings that I'm developing feelings for someone else? I don't want to cheat on him but I don't want to pretend that I am totally happy with our relationship right now.... | SO of 5 years. we're both working a lot. i'm seriously crushing on my coworker. how do i tell my so? |
t3_1uw8me | relationships | I [35F] dated a man during a year-long separation from my husband [36M]; we are now back together and I don't know if I should tell my husband about the relationship. | My husband and I split up temporarily for about a year. He was living outside of the house and we had child support / temporary custody arrangements for our kids. We were not together in any way aside from a legal standpoint... In that time I dated and slept with someone else (obviously with protection and my annual gyno appointment happened to fall in between the time period of the end of that short relationship and the reconciliation with my husband; and I had an STD test done and I was clean). My husband and I are now back together. We have not discussed the time we spent apart (whether we had dated anyone else or anything). I was not planning on bringing it up until he asked, but we have been back together for a few months now and he still has not brought it up. I haven't asked him if he had dated for two reasons. One, it doesn't really matter and I honestly don't want to know if he did. Two, I worry that he hadn't and the fact that I had will hurt him.
Should I tell him? | Dated a man during a year-long separation from my husband; we are now back together and I don't know if I should tell him. |
t3_2xmgpo | relationships | I [25M] am having some problems with communication resulting in some unnecessary and hurtful outbursts towards my girlfriend [23 F]. Would like some pointers. | I've been in an amazing relationship for the past 5 months and things have been mostly great. Along the way I've discovered a few things about myself that I'm glad I've picked up on. I've been able to work on things such as staying present, being more communicative and being more patient, with good progress.
We often have energized discussions which we both enjoy immensely, however, I'm prone to getting heated in a discussion/debate to the point where I become loud and abrasive, and it results in both of us getting angry and upset.
I think this stems partly from repressing when I need to be communicative (i'll not say something at the time, holding it in until the emotional energy redirects itself all at once in one of these outbursts.)
and also, from seeking emotional validation: I tend to try and fuse emotionally too quickly and readily to my partner rather than keep my own sense of emotional identity: When she has differing opinions, the need for validation is at odds with this and it manifests itself negatively.
This is something I've been working on correcting and I'd been doing a good job of it, but the frustration comes through in moments of weakness.
I'm concentrating on keeping my emotional identity at least partly separate, and also on being less reactive and more open to respectful communication, without emotional validation being a condition of this communication.
It may seem as though I've already come to a conclusion on this behaviour but I'd like outside input: Have I come to the right conclusion? What else should I keep an eye on? anyone else had any similar experiences?
Any input would be appreciated :) | Emotional volatility has caused some unnecessary hurt and upset, am I heading in the right direction? need some help on working through this. |
t3_33bt8t | relationships | Problems coming to a conclusion about a pregnancy. | Hey, I don't really know if this is the place for this or not. I am a 27 male. So.... Oops poops, I knocked up a friend. She is 22. She didn't find out right away, so she tells me a couple of weeks in. We debated heavily for a night or two, and agreed that an abortion would be the best way to go.
Here it is two days before the final appointment. Big surprise, she has changed her mind. Now, I'm a rational man. But I know what I want in life. And for every outcome I try to think of, this is not it. We talked for a good three hours just now about what to do. She wants to keep it. She is set on that. I don't. I just can't accept that change in my life yet.
I'm homeless (couch surfing), I'm in serious debt, and am desperately trying to pursue my true passions. If I fathered a child, it would not be able to live the life that I want it to. And I know deep down I would always resent her for forcing this upon me. Oh, I also very recently reconnected with someone that I may love. And I want to try and work things out with her.
Do I keep trying to convince her? Or do I take the less than savory route. She suggested that she will go at this alone, and I would never have to worry about the baby or her. But I don't want that guilt. Please Reddit, deliver for me on this one :/ | We were going for abortion. She backed out at the last minute, I know I don't want this in my life. What do. |
t3_2s286p | relationships | I [27 M] have two tickets to a festival. GF [28] doesn't want me to go because she is in a wedding. | Basically I have tickets to a festival out in California that I bought six months ago. These tickets are very hard to get. About four months ago her friend got proposed to and asked her to be a bridesmaid. My girlfriend of seven years says that If I cared for her I would sell my tickets and go to the wedding. She also says that she doesn't want me to go to something like that without her because she knows she will have alot of fun with me.
This has been a hot topic for us over the past few months because I told her I still wanted to go and it had nothing to do about not caring for her. Granted we did get tickets to this last year (by paying 3x more than sale price) and we got other events planned soon, it is just hard for me to pass up a good time by staying home sitting at a wedding for someone I haven't talked to in years. I wouldn't be going alone as I would have a friend that could possibly go.
Should I just not care and put all this being me or am I being unreasonable. | Got tickets to a festival. Gf doesn't want me to go cause she wants me there to see her dressed up in a wedding. |
t3_1kchbe | relationships | [22M] I have a habit of rarely falling for a girl, but when I do I fall fast and hard. | So here's the deal.
I'm not hurting for female attention. I hate to sound arrogant, but I've got a lot going for me and attracting women is not terribly difficult for me.
However, I've realized that the promiscuous lifestyle is not one I care for, but at the same time I'm rarely impressed enough by a woman to consider dating her.
I started hanging out with this girl I vaguely knew from parties and whatnot this past weekend. We spent a lot of time over the weekend together and she came over my house last night. There was an instant physical attraction to her, but it didn't take much conversation for me to realize I was really attracted to her mind as well. She was into me too, and I imagine under different circumstances something would have started between us, but in any case it's not happening.
But I have this habit. I'll talk to all sorts of women and find them ultimately boring, then once in a blue moon I find one I really click with (this is maybe the fifth girl in my life I've been attracted to in this way) and I fall faster and harder than I imagine is healthy.
Is it unhealthy? I'm still feeling bummed about me and the girl in question not working out, and all we spent together was one (amazing) weekend.
And if it's unhealthy, wtf do I do about that? | I could have great success with women, but I'm not impressed by most of them. When I am impressed, I fall fast and hard for the woman in question. Is this unhealthy? |
t3_pkw63 | AskReddit | I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PORN | Right, so hopefully that got your attention. Seriously, though. Yesterday for one of my public health classes, we had a screening of this documentary on pornography. It was very obviously meant to make us think that porn is vile and disgusting, and would pick out scenes that were especially degrading, and sometimes violent, toward women. I had gone into this with an all-around neutral opinion on porn (you can probably tell I'm a chick now if you couldn't before) so I was really hoping to hear all kinds of opinions about it.
The professor called in a couple of sociologists to have a bit of a discussion/debate type deal when the movie was over, so I thought "Great! Here comes the other side of the story." Nope.
Turns out the anti-porn woman was totally militant about the whole thing and wanted the entire porn industry shut down. She reminded me of all those crazies who wanted to ban violent video games and Marilyn Manson because they thought that they could stop kids from turning into psychopaths (except she was a Marxist super-feminist). The supposed pro-porn woman was kind of a weak debater and basically got talked over and shat on the entire time. She hardly counted as a voice of the other side.
Notice that both of these people are women! All of the public health professors involved in setting up this movie were also women. They eventually had one guy who spoke for maybe five minutes, but he kept talking about how everyone should practice tantra instead of watching porn because it "lifts you to a higher self." Hoo boy.
So I'm turning to you, Reddit. Will you be my other side of the story? I'm aiming this question mostly toward the guys, but of course I want to hear girls' opinions too. What is your opinion on porn? Is it degrading? Does it promote sexual violence? Has it gotten worse in recent years? | Had a pretty biased lesson on porn from some feminists, but I want to hear what you think. Enlighten me. |
t3_4jidzj | relationships | Me [15F] with my best friend [16F] I accidentally called her flat. What do I do? | Using throwaway since I don't usually use reddit.
So I was talking with my best friend on a group chat and she wrote something like "Im insecure of my butt." I thought her reasoning for saying it was because she told me a couple times before about how she thinks its flat but I don't believe she is. Anyways like an idiot I am trying to make her feel better i respond with "its ok flat is god sometimes" and she gots on a rampage about how she worked hard for what she has now and since I think its flat she needs to work on it more. I don't know why i said it. I tried taking it back by saying she isn't flat but her bottom is proportional to her body which I actually believe. I think I said it because I've actually wanted a flatter bottom myself since mine makes me stick out so I thought being flat was a good thing. I don't know I am just confused. How do imI come back from this? How do I apologize and just carry on with life? | I called my friend's bottom flat when I didn't mean it but now she is upset. How do I apologize? |
t3_2hcbp1 | relationships | What should I say when people keep asking about my long distance relationship? | I've been in a LDR for 3 years now. I'm 27F and he is 37M. Things are great, we see eachother often, he helps me with anything, and we have future plans. But you know how people say or think how long and hard it must be and oh when are you going to live together type stuff.
I have no problem telling strangers what is none of their business but what could I say to associates who I care and respect (they care for and respect me too) when they keep asking questions about my relationship?
They'll ask:
"When are you going to see eachother again?"
"When was the last time you saw eachother?"
"When are you two going to live together?" (That's a big one)
Ect... | LDR. What is a general polite response I could say to friends instead of saying "quit asking things are fine"? |
t3_eq40c | AskReddit | Dealing with Aggro-Roommate, Help Appreciated | I moved into a big house with a numerous roommates I did not know at all. As it turns out, we all get along very well, and end up partying on the weekends together several times. I would go as far as to say that I would consider a few of them as "Friends".
Recently though, one of my roommates is showing a behavioral pattern of being excessively aggressive when it comes to meeting and talking to women. He will interrupt me and others, sometimes put them down and generally attempt to hijack the situation. It never works and the women are frightened away. This is made worse by the fact that he will never approach a girl himself. This situation usually arises when alcohol is present, or when interest in one of the roommates has been explicitly indicated by the female.
95% of the time, this kid is really cool, and I consider him a friend, but he has prevented me (and the group) from meeting and retaining women, and I'm getting sick of it. I have never been amazing with women, but I'm not terrible, plus its been a while since I have gotten laid (took a year of celibacy in order to clear head after numerous one-nighters and bad relationships). I just don't understand where this comes from. I usually conform to the "If a friend/roommate has a shot, support them till failure, then you try" motto, but clearly he does not. How do I confront him about this situation without destroying the group dynamic we have at the house presently? Should I even confront him about it, or just embarrass him the next time he tries it? | Roommate/friend is cock blocking. Want him to stop but don't want to ruin friendship/group dynamic of house. |
t3_rs2zq | AskReddit | How do you go about washing your hindquarters in the shower? | So I was in the shower, just showering normally, lathering and whatnot. When a surge of cold water hit me straight on my back and down my arse. I tilted the shower head away from me and soaped up the rest of my body with a loofah for a final rinse, when it came to my hindquarters I wondered if there was a proper way to wash my butt...
You see, I've always just used a well soaped or gelled loofah to clean myself thoroughly with, and sometimes I've had to just go in with a soapy hand. It's not the best feeling in the world (...) but it does get the job done and leaves my rump smelling clean (not that I smell it or anything, but I can imply).
I looked around the internet (google) and did a search limited to /r/AskReddit to see if someone had already posted something similar. After a few searches (aprox. 6) I found nothing, but on the internet I found that other people do the same as me, while others do something else or don't clean their butts at all. I even found a nice comical guide to keeping your butt clean on [Craigslist](
Upon further readings I found the word [bidet] (bid-ay) in an anal cleansing thread on a hygiene forum. A bidet is used to cleanse your arse and genitals. It can be used by both men and women. It is a separate toilet like thing that just sprays water all up in your stuff (I imagined the feel). It can also come as a device that simply requires hooking it up to the toilet.
After these readings I kind of answered my question (some of it anyways, since none of my resources pertain to properly cleaning your hiney in the shower), but I thought that you should know my fellow redditors, and as a pass to post in this subreddit I had to come up with something to ask obviously.
So I come to you, asking: Reddit, how do you go about washing your hindquarters in the shower? And is there a proper butt-washing technique? | Was taking shower, upon soaping up, wondered how to properly wash butt... How do *you* wash *your* butt? |
t3_4x3gjn | legaladvice | [FL] Workers' Comp is dicking my family around on providing medical care to my father | My father was hit by a car almost 6 years ago. He's had serious medical complications from a broken hip/femur that has exacerbated preexisting conditions and has had him in and out of the hospital multiple times a year. The original workers' comp case manager kept things running smoothly for the most part but in the last 2 years that person has quit, another case manager has quit and we're on the third case manager who seems to be dicking us around when it comes to most medical requests.
They keep giving us bullshit excuses as to why they have not gotten consistent at home care and most importantly why they haven't been able to get a physical therapist out to our house. My mother is already in contact with an attorney but they're telling us that the laws are in workers' comp's favor and they can basically keep doing what they're doing without consequence which I find hard to believe. Is there anything we can do, should we look for a different attorney, etc? | Workers' comp case gets new case manager and everything has turned into a hassle and a fight in the last year. Anything we can do? |
t3_4tl0es | relationships | Me [25 M] and my girlfriend [24 F] have been dating for 4.5 years, and she is "having doubts" | Girlfriend and I have been dating for a good amount of time, and everything is going great. We are completely intertwined with friend groups, families, and we have been through tough and trying times together. Arguments happen, but they are never really hurtful, as we strive to work things out the best we can. Regularly we talk about marriage; even our parents openly discuss marriage and "how it will be when you two are together down the road"-type conversation.
We had just gotten back from a wonderful vacation, a week passes, and I go on another trip that takes me away for a week. When I get back, I am welcomed with a phone call to discuss "Relationship Doubts". I am the type of guy that worked my ass off to date this girl because she is absolutely amazing to the core. She is out of my league, but I go above and beyond to put effort into our relationship, as does she. The "Relationship Doubts" conversation began with her talking about how sometimes she has thoughts of us not being together, and they, on occasion, fill her thoughts. These are not every week or every day, but they have happened a few times with her. One thing she said was talking about her wedding day and who she saw on the altar - most of the time it was me but rarely it was not. This "rarely it was not" is what she said has been bugging her and making her doubt what our relationship stands for.
We are not broken up, however, we have some work to do to. I, of course, am not fantastic with talking about my emotions, so me communicating to her comes after long thought. She is emotional on the other end of the spectrum, so one time, for example, she ran over a toad on a golf cart, she cried. That type of emotional.
Of course after this long phone conversation, it ended with how much she loves me, how she doesn't know what she would do without me, how I'm her best friend, and how well I treat her. So, of course, I am confused as to how to move forward from here. | GF of 4.5 years has been acting "off", I spoke with her to see if everything was Ok, and she says she is "having doubts" about our relationship and the future. |
t3_4p7kuu | weddingplanning | Less than a month out! What am I forgetting?! | I know these get posted fairly regularly but it's just so darn helpful to write this stuff all out and get feedback from other brides!
As the title says we're officially less than a month out and I'm just trying to brainstorm and make sure I've got everything taken care of!
We have everything paid for that can be (waiting on final headcount to pay the last bit to the venue) and photographer doesn't require the rest of her payment until we receive photos (she's a godsend!)
Dress and accessories purchased. Final fitting tomorrow!
Dj booked and timeline reviewed
Menus been chosen including alcohol
Grooms attire ordered (kilt rental)
Cake booked
Centerpieces made
Favors are being bought
Invites sent. About 50% received with an RSVP date by the 30th (is this a normal amount btw? FH thinks they may be getting lost in the mail because they're small)- waiting on these to do the seating chart of course.
No bridal party so nothing to worry about there
Officiant is fsil- she's writing the ceremony. We just need to figure out our vows
Diy "selfie booth" props and backdrop made
Guestbook bought
Card box made
Surprise movie poster framed: our photog turned one of our more dramatic engagement photos into a full sized movie poster for us complete with a title and cast!
Bouquet bought from ecoflowers (no other flowers are being used)
Getting Marriage license on Friday
I feel like I'm missing so many things but we're skipping a lot of the traditional stuff so maybe that's why?
Thank you whoever made it this far for reading all this rambling and for those that didn't!: | less than a month out. Last minute things that are commonly forgotten? What else do you guys have to do a month out from the big day |
t3_2r4y7u | relationships | Is it possible to like/love two people at once? Me [17M] confused about feelings for GF [18F] and friend [17F]. | Hi Reddit, first ever post so please try to be nice! :)
So basically I have a gf of about 9 months, and our relationship has been happy and neither of us has ever cheated on the other... etc. However, she boards at the school and spends the holidays in a different country. I think she's amazing, so pretty and funny. however she does seem to have slight attachment issues due to boarding and so insists on constant contact when she is abroad: e.g. if I were to take an hour to respond to a message she will get worried and ask one of my friends to contact me and get me to text her back. Despite this we're both happy in each other's company.
However, I have another friend who I'm incredibly close with- she is really smart, hilarious, pretty and we share more interests than anybody I've ever met. In fact in the past people have commented that we seem 'perfect for each other', which we both laugh off. In the last few months I've begun to feel a strong attraction to her as well, most prominently when my gf is out of the country.
I know I'll never cheat on my gf but I'm still guilty about these feelings, and I'm not entirely sure if they're reciprocated or not. My question is- should I confront my friend about these feelings, should I tell my gf, should I pretend they don't exist? Is it right for me to remain in a relationship with somebody if I have feelings for other people too?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
P.S. I know I'm an asshole for liking two girls at the same time- If I could feel differently I would. | Attracted to a close friend and my girlfriend- should I just get over it, or explain my feelings to them? |
t3_2d77m6 | Parenting | What's your best "traveling with kid(s)," advice? | In January we will be moving to Hawaii. We'll (husband, 6yo daughter, cat, dog, and myself) be looking at (I'm assuming a hectic) one night at a hotel, then up bright and early (you have to be at the airport quite a few hours ahead of time when traveling with a pet in cargo) to spend several hours at the airport, then roughly a 6 1/2 hour flight.
Now I've traveled with the kiddo before, but plane rides have been a maximum of 2 hours, and the longest trip being a 5 hour car ride with a couple well planned out stops at local parks to stretch and burn some energy. Also, I'm not sure how well she'll sleep the night before and the darling little angel is an absolute beastie without a restful night of sleep.
So, I'm feeling rather apprehensive/anxious about the impending travel day. I really have no idea how the kiddo is going to do with the long day, but I'd feel more at ease going into it being as prepared as possible.
QUESTIONS:
*I've found some cute ideas on pinterest for things like travel/airport bingo, travel activity binders, etc. but do those things really work?
*She doesn't play video games, but I'm open to the idea of putting some games/apps on the tablet, what are some really good ones for kids?
*Should we invest in a mobile dvd player? Any models better/worse than others?
*Any tried and true advice or techniques you've used to make traveling with a kid go as smooth as possible?
*Any other advice, anecdotes, words of wisdom/encouragement you're willing to share? | Long flight with a 6yo coming up, halp!! How do I best prepare for a hectic travel day? |
t3_3b7e9a | relationships | I (26 f) am little put off by my bf (32m)'s behavior | So we've been dating for almost two years and we've already talked about marriage and stuff. He hasn't proposed to me yet though.
I've been kind of living with him although i still have my own apt, i brought my two cats with me. His mom is visiting this weekend and she doesn't want cats walking and making noises at night so unfortunately ill have to move out with the cats. Which is annoying, since ill have to move all my stuff and it's pain in the butt.
He told me i have to vacuum and all that stuff once i move out (he's at work) since his mom is gonna try to clean his apartment if it's dirty. (He jokingly said his mom will yell at him if apt is dirty) Ok..? He is 32 years old, has a great job and a nice apt. And his mom is gonna clean his apt?
Am I overreacting by feeling put off by this? Also it's his family members, I understand if his apt is super dirty(which isn't) but I don't understand why i have to clean the whole apt since you should be comfortable with your mom. Also he asked me to go get groceries after i move out and left his credit card since i have a car and he doesn't. Also i have to do laundry and pack my stuff too all because his mom doesn't want my cats there. I kind of understand why but it's still annoying. | bf mom is visiting, i have to move out bc of my cats making noises at night and bf wants me to go get groceries and clean the whole apt before i move out completely. Kind of put off by this. |
t3_3x7l00 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] duration of 1 month, How to get a first kiss. | Hello Reddit.
My Girlfriend and I are going on our second date (Because school) and I was wondering how we can have our first kiss. I'm speaking about opportunity.
The day is supposed to go like this :
I take her to this amazing bookstore(She loves books) and surprise her by buying the book she seems interested in.
We then eat lunch at a mall and I drop her at her friend's place afterwards.
I'm trying to find the best place to have a first kiss in all of that.
Note: I have a Driver taking me to these places, I also don't want the kiss to be in a public place as I don't think she'll be comfortable. | Going on a date with GF of 1 month and trying to find out when to have the first kiss. Except I have no way to find a private place to do it. |
t3_30wn5l | relationships | Is it too early/clingy for me [24 M] to make a random romantic gesture to him [22 M]? | Details: We've hung out four times over the last three weeks, but it feels like it is going really well.
(1) First time we met, we were out dancing and ended up dancing pretty much all night; (2) then a week later we had the coffee date which became a four-hour walk around town, (3) then karaoke that night; (4) next time we hung out, I came over to his place where I ended up staying the night (no sex).
I feel really good about it and I get similar vibes from him too. I don't want to jump the gun but I really want to do something special to let him know that I really like him more than pretty much anybody I've dated in a long time.
Any advice on something nice that lets him know he's on my mind without becoming OAG after only a couple (albeit really great) dates? (He's not a big texter, so a cute message in the middle of the day doesn't feel adequate).
Thanks! | Two guys. Went on four-ish very amazing dates. Too early to go a little above-and-beyond to express my affection? |
t3_54tyag | relationship_advice | Men of Reddit, why do some guys ignore women they have shown interest in? | So this coworker of mine [M/22] was showing signs that he liked me [F/20] but then I asked him about an incident that involved him trying to hold my hand and cuddle in our somewhat empty break room. I assumed it was a misunderstanding on my part and apologized for thinking anything more than that. All he had to say was "I'm sorry." After that he would still hug me to say hello or ignore me all together. To top it all off I invited him to an amusement park after work with a couple of other coworkers (purely platonic intentions) and he said no but invited me to a bonfire at the beach. I'm not sure what's going on, is this a guy thing? Or is he just not interested anymore? I haven't perused anything with him because I'm not sure what his feelings are.
P.S. this is not a office job, it's mostly people in there 20's working here. | Guy at work was hitting on me, I assumed it was a misunderstanding and he is sending me mixed signals. Don't know what to do. |
t3_1emdjw | offmychest | Relationship between 4 Friends | I liked this girl for three years and my friend liked another girl for four years. The girl I liked did not like me back, and the girl my friend like, liked him. One day my friend decided to like the girl I liked, he didnt know I liked her. This left the girl that liked him alone. Being very emotional, she was depressed for a long time. My friend and the girl I liked got together and started dating. I became very good friends with the girl my friend liked. I began to like her. I told her I liked her after helping her cope with her emotional problems, she said she doesnt like me back. She still likes him. My friend and the girl i used to like broke up. He said he would not date the girl I now like because he knows I like her. But, the girl I like still wants to date him. | I like Girl 1. Best Friend likes Girl 2. Best friend likes Girl 1. I like Girl 2. Girl 2 likes Best Friend. |
t3_2py518 | relationships | I (F, 24) am afraid my boyfriend (M,27) of 5 years will leave me because of my physical appearance. | Let me explain. My boyfriend is big into going into the gym and eating the right food and all that stuff. We've always lived a fairly active lifestyle and when we met, we were both in decent shape but average. But about 4 years ago, my bf's father died and he started training to forget about him and he hasn't stopped ever since. He's always been attractive and now he's also pretty buff and when we go out with friends at the bar for example, I've noticed that some girls look at him. Even my girl friends make jokes about hitting on him, and I laugh about it too but in reality it's actually making me quite uncomfortable.because, me, I haven't gained any weight or anything,but I'm still average,and he trains with these insanely hot and fit girls at the gym and he takes workout pictures with them that are posted on Facebook and a lot of these girls post comments like 'cutie' or 'love you' and with a lot hearts on these pictures.I know he hasn't ever cheated on me or anything like that,he isnt the type of person to do that, but I'm still worried that one day he might leave me for one of these girls.I know I can't control his life and that I can't tell him to stop seeing all these fit girl friends of his that he trains with, but at the same time it's making me quite uncomfortable and I'm really scared to tell him about it.Do you think I'm being paranoid for no reason and should just try to forget about how I feel, or should I talk with him about it? | my boyfriend of 5 years has gotten buff and has all these fit girls that he trains with regularly and he often gets hit on when we go out and its making me uncomfortable and making me feel unconfident about myself. |
t3_2j6vf6 | relationships | F 24 what should I think / do? | My(24) boyfriend(23) and I have been together for over 4 years and we have a daughter. We have been arguing lately and after one heated argument I decided to go to my parents house for a while, as I packed my bf did nothing and said nothing he even fell asleep.
After I left and picked up daughter from nursery to go to my parents he texted me a little and then nothing. He then tells me that he is going to visit his family by buss and that he had purchased a ticket.
Fast forward and the day that he is scheduled to go he ignores my calls all day to then finally tell me he is actually in a different place altogether visiting friends.
He won't give me a reason for going there and said that he lied so I wouldn't be mad...
What should I make of this? What should I do? | bf went to see friends instead of family on other side of country and won't explain why he went and lied? |
t3_4oqyt8 | legaladvice | [PA][USA] - ARD program for 2nd deg misdemeanors | I was caught for retail theft in December 2015.
I didn't receive the notice to appear for court until 2 days ago. I have a preliminary hearing set for the end of july, and my lawyer that I have hired to represent me told me that I will able to apply for the ARD (accelerated rehab) program since this is my first conviction ever, and the charges are 2nd degree misdemeanors.
The charges are:
PA 18 - 3929 A1 (Lead): Retail theft - take merchandise
PA 18 - 3925 A: Receiving stolen property
My main dilemmas here are:
1) paying for the lawyer as he wants me to pay $1,800 for his representation for until the end of the case, which he even offered to even appear on my behalf for 3/? number of cases due to the fact I go to school in Florida, and I cannot really afford to come up to PA every time there is a court date. If i recall correctly, i think the lawyer had told me it may be upto 7 total hearings (up until the expungement). He will let me do monthly payments of $150 for 12 months, which sounds very reasonable, but considering the fact that the ARD and court fines + expungement can cost upto $3,000, this may end up costing me $5,000 total, which is a hefty sum for me to bark up since I am unemployed and a student full time
2) i'd like to avoid telling my parents about this case, and even if I did tell them, they are in a rough spot financially and wouldn't really be able to help either, they would just be overly worried for me which wouldn't help my sanity either.
so I guess my main question is related to financing this whole thing; is it possible to get put on the ARD if I represent myself? I cant get a public defender because I would be required to present my parents' income, which 1) I can't get to, 2) would be too high to be accepted for a public defender.
Also, I hear that if I represent myself, the amount of time required from probation could be cut down from 12 months to 6 months. | 1) How likely is it that I can get approved for ARD if I represent myself for a 2nd deg misdemeanor? |
t3_3ji82d | tifu | TIFU by throwing a cigarette butt into the trashcan at my parents house and setting their porch on fire. | I usually go outside to smoke and when I was done I threw my cigarette butt into what I thought was an empty pottery potting plant, but turns out it was one of those weird sponge foam materials. I went upstairs then all of a sudden I heard my name and I ran downstairs I didn't grab no shoes or nothing my mom was like lord jesus theres a fire. The porch was up in flames so I went to the kitchen and dumped out the trash can all over the floor, filled it up with water and ran outside and doused the flames before it spread to the house. We had to rebuild part of the porch but it wasn't too bad. But I learned a valuable lesson. Always put your cigarettes out properly in a non flammable container. | Threw cigarette butt into empty flower pot that I thought was real, was actually foam, caught fire and burned up porch with minor damages. Learned a good lesson. |
t3_2dbrgn | relationships | My [M18] girlfriend [F18] wants to go skinny dipping with some of her girl friends and their boyfriends. | I'm on mobile and don't want to type too much, but here it goes.
Backstory: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months, and things have gotten very serious, to the point where we know we want to marry each other, even though we are young and haven't dated for very long. She has told me that she doesn't want to do anything that would make me uncomfortable and/or see lesser of her, and she won't if I don't want her to. But I don't want to be a controlling boyfriend.
She thinks it would be fun to go skinny dipping, and doesn't see a problem in other guys seeing her naked, that it would be fine. Its "just skinny dipping". But I don't like the idea, men are visual creatures, and I wouldn't want other guys to see her naked. Its also why I don't want to go with her, even if there were no other guys, I don't want to put myself in a situation where I might have sexual thoughts about another girl. I can control my thoughts, but why set myself up for that. And she thinks that its fine, its just having fun and not sexual. I asked her if she would be fine with some of my friends girlfriends to see me naked, and she said yeah, "cus its different for guys and girls". So I think she does have an understanding that guys are visual creatures. I just feel like it would make seeing her naked less special, like the requirement for that would be lowered from significant other to someone she's fine going skinny dipping with. | Just the thought of other guys seeing her naked makes me feel very uncomfortable, I'm not sure what to do. Advice? |
t3_2jxpfy | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [27 M] 1yr, I like it wild, but I want to make love again. | We have strong sex drives. I've always enjoyed nasty sex and we definitely have our regular dose of that, but I want to make love again. Thing is, it's so easy to get excited and have purely physical sex. As a female, I feel weird being the one having this trouble. There have been times where he looks deep into my eyes and I go along with it but I feel bad because it catches me off guard, and I will have already put myself into... fuck mode, if you will. Don't get me wrong, I've made love with him before and it was beautiful and heartfelt, and in those moments I felt a love that I had never before shared with another person. Whether it's in or out of the bedroom, what can I do so that the physical experience can once more be secondary to the mental/emotional connection? | My desire to "fuck" gets in the way of my desire to make love/How can I slow down and let myself connect with him on an intimate and emotional level again? |
t3_3smgpc | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [17F] has been getting upset when I turn down sex | A few times recently, my girlfriend and I (6 months) would be cuddling when she tries to initiate sex. I've declined a few times, which would lead to her being really upset, and sometimes crying. I asked her about it and assured her I was still interested in her, and she said that she would probably react similarly in the future until she gets over it. She really doesn't want to feel and think that way, but she says it will likely happen anyways. I don't want to resort to having sex with her anyways if I'm not feeling it, I don't like doing that and I don't want to do it anymore, but sometimes it seemed better than making her feel sad. | gf gets upset when I'm not in the mood for sex. How would you deal with this? And have you ever been in a similar situation? |
t3_24ti6g | relationships | Gay friend [21, M] likes me [21, M]. But his friend [20, F] and I like each other. She and I are together now, but he's sad... so what do we do? | This school year, I met a gay guy named "Jake." We became pretty close. I suspected him of liking me but we never seriously talked about it.
Through Jake, I met "Jane." Jake and Jane have been close friends for a while. Jane and I started liking each other. We knew Jake likes me, so we talked to him about it and he said he'll be fine if we date, as long as I could still be his friend.
Lately though, he's been getting really clingy to both of us. He feels betrayed and maybe even depressed, because he's known Jane for a long time, but Jane and I only met this year. Is this fair? Is how-long-you've-known-someone a good factor to judge how close you "should" be?
In my relationship with Jane, we constantly have to think about how Jake's feeling, and we each have to spend time with him to make him feel better. I hang out with him almost completely out of pity, and I think she has some pity as well. It's really starting to get annoying.
He said he'd be fine, but it sure doesn't seem like it. I sure might sound like a jerk, but is Jake being selfish? Or is it me and Jane? We really think it'd be a shame if we broke up because of Jake's feelings.
Jerk-mode again: to be honest, I value my relationship with Jane a lot more than I do for my friendship with Jake. And Jane really likes me too. But for the sake of not having to deal with Jake's sadness, would it be best for everyone if Jane and I stopped seeing each other? | Gay friend likes me, but I've started dating his longtime female friend. We feel bad, but we think it would be a shame if we broke up simply because of the gay friend. Thoughts/ideas? |
t3_dhz5m | AskReddit | I can smell cyanide and I am pretty sure I'm smelling it now as I'm eating these raw sweet almonds. Do raw almonds (sweet almonds, not bitter almonds) contain cyanide? If I eat them as a snack, will they hurt me? | So...a little back story...a few years ago I worked on a project where the primary investigator had to generate hydrogen cyanide (HCN) gas to test it as a fumigant. Because I was working in the same laboratory that this gas was being generated, I had to be tested to see if I could smell HCN in case something went wrong and there was a release of this gas in the lab. Yeah, it's weird, but your ability smell cyanide is genetic and some people cannot smell it at all.
Fortunately, I found out that I am EXTREMELY sensitive to the smell, so much so that after the grease jars used to fumigate the samples were emptied of the gasses, I could *still* smell traces of cyanide even though none of the other HCN-smellers could. I was told the HCN gas had polymerized/bonded to the plastic sample holders inside of the jars and it was slowly off-gassing/releasing trace amounts of HCN (?). Anyway, point is, I know what it smells like and I'm really, *really* sensitive to it. I can even smell it in car exhaust fumes sometimes. It freaks me out.
Now, to my question!
I bought a small jar of Archer Farms brand raw almonds at Target as a healthy snack. I'm not crazy about almonds, but wanted to get something that was unsalted and this is what they had. It doesn't say they are pasteurized on the package anywhere. Anyway, I cracked into them today and as I am eating them I am definitely smelling cyanide when I eat some of them (a note - your sense of taste is strongly linked to your sense of smell, and I can definitely tell that I am smelling it as I am biting down on them.) It's stronger with some than others. I don't feel ill or anything, but I have stopped eating them until I get my question answered. | I know I can smell hydrogen cyanide and I am extremely sensitive to it. Do raw almonds (sweet almonds, not bitter almonds) contain cyanide? Will they hurt me? Am I crazy or smelling something else? |
t3_2ncumg | relationships | My [23 F] friend [23 M] told me that one of my best friends [24 F] tried to have sex with him when they were 8 and I'm worried about her. | I have known my friend Brent since early high school. We had mutual friends and mostly spent time together when we were in a group of people.
My friend Sarah and I became close in late high school. Since then she has been one of my best friends. It's been hard at times because she has struggled with getting herself into dangerous sexual situations and hard drugs. She also suffers from depression. She doesn't get a lot of support from her family and other friends. I can't take on all of her problems but I try to at least always be there to listen and give support.
Recently Brent and I reconnected and are closer than we were previously. One day I mentioned Sarah in passing (he knows her because their families used to be friends) and he immediately seemed uncomfortable and suggested that we talk about something else because she isn't his favorite person. I said that's fine and was about to change the subject when he instead continued on to tell me that when they were eight years old she physically tried to have sex with him. He said that he didn't know what she was doing at the time and didn't understand until years later. I told him that I was sorry and that it was probably a traumatic experience. He said it wasn't really because he had no understanding of what was going on.
I hope that Brent really isn't hurting over what happened with Sarah but I'm even more worried about where Sarah got so much information about the mechanics of sex. It's my understanding that an 8 -year old child doesn't know how to have sex unless…well…it has happened to them. I'm really worried that she was molested at a young age.
I confided in another close friend of mine, Kim, and asked her what she thought of the situation. She said that she thinks it's somewhat normal for kids to experiment sexually at a young age like 8 because they have a small amount of sexual knowledge.
What do you think Reddit? Is it normal for kids to try to have sex or do you think Sarah was molested? | My female friend tried to have sex with my male friend when they were 8. Does this mean that she was molested previously? |
t3_tcg2o | AskReddit | Parents asked me to marry someone so he can stay in the country, I'm at a complete loss. Help me reddit. | A little background, my parents are usually fairly sane folk. Both with steady jobs, no addictions, great and loving people and no mental health problems (or so i thought). I was raised with my independence and a side of strict parenting, but nothing horrible. Up until today, aside from a few ups and downs we had when I was a teenager, life was fairly good.
This afternoon, as I was walking out to go to watch The Avengers, my parents pulled me aside for a "quick conversation." They told me that one of my father's friends is in the States illegally and that he is about to be deported, and whether I would consider marrying him for two years, posing as his wife and, in return, being paid 30k.
At that point, I just sort of walked away, and later on texted my mom a very upset and shaky message. Basically telling her I was uncomfortable even coming home. She told me it was just a question and that I wasn't being forced into anything, just to consider it. My father, on the other hand, is being more forceful, telling me that I only have a small window to decide and that this man is a good man, will make a good husband and desperately needs my help.
I don't want to do it, I am 22, I just graduated college and I have some really great job prospects in my field of study, I don't want to get married to anyone, let alone a man I barely know. Not to mention, the fraud aspect of this, which isn't making me any more happy about the situation. | Parents want me to marry someone to keep him in the country, I don't want to do it, but I don't want to cause a rift in my family or have him sent back to his country (which is fairly awful). |
t3_yi8sa | AskReddit | When did you realize you were legitimately interested in something you'd never otherwise consider in order to better understand and grow closer to someone you care about? | My brother doesn't talk much, and in general we're not a family that talks a lot with each other (ex. it's not too odd for us to have a quick, silent 15, 20 minute meal). Tonight, I spent an hour or two just talking with my brother. About My Little Pony. Having an intelligent conversation with him (he's a teen) about it made me realize that I enjoyed the conversation because I got the chance to learn more about how he thinks, even if they're thoughts on My Little Pony. He expressed an interest in going to a convention next year, and I offered to go with him. I was surprised to find that, although I reflexively offered to chaperone him, I was actually interested in watching the show and getting to know more about it, so that we could enjoy the experience together. | Family's not particularly close. Had an intelligent conversation with my brother about his brony-ness. Found myself actually enjoying it more than I would have thought. |
t3_3czntm | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [21 F] of 2 years, was sexually abused by her co-worker [24 M] and won't go to anyone | So my GF was fingered without her consent when she was 14 by this same guy, and she currently still works with this guy. She never told anyone.
Recently, she told me that this co-worker has also been inappropriately touching her, even when she says stop.
I told her that this is sexual harassment at the workplace, and that she needs to tell her boss, and she needs to take this further, because it has gone too far. In my eyes, he thinks he owns her (I have no proof of this) and so does not respect what she says.
She, on the other hand, has not told anyone, and so is extremely angry still from the incident when she was 14. She wants to 'talk to him' first, before taking this anywhere, however this only infuriates me and leads me to believe she's trying to avoid this.
I love her very much. I can't stand to see this happen to her. She's angry with him. The more I tell her my opinion, the angrier she gets with me. I don't know how to do this anymore.
Reddit. Wtf do I do? | GF sexually abused by co-worker, who still sexually harasses her at work. She won't take this further. WTF do I do. |
t3_26kvks | relationships | No label yet, we both agree on reasons why, but can't help feeling like I would enjoy a "girlfriend" label (28M and 24F) | We were happy together and liked each other very much for 7 months.
We broke up during a whirlwind "argument" of sorts, he has some personal health issues that he is working on and which I have now taken a lot of care to learn the extent of - I'm comfortable with where he is at with his recovery at the moment and have gone through a lot with him.
We were amicable and gentle with each other even after the break-up and began talking romantically again about a month after.
That was about 4 months ago and he has come a long way with his personal development and health.
We're both hesitant to jump into "relationship" territory again and wouldn't want to put our closeness or his health at risk by moving too quickly.
However, things are pretty much there anyway - we see each other almost every day, our families are aware of this, we consult each other about life decisions, we laugh and kiss and cuddle.
It would be good for the decision to say we are in a relationship to come naturally and I would prefer that he bring up the conversation as it is really up to him how comfortable he is with his personal situation.
My question is, how do I know it's okay to proceed in this delicate situation? When would or how might this arrangement (no-label relationship, essentially) start to become an issue? | Dated 7 months, amicable (of sorts) break-up, began talking romantically soon after, want to make sure we are ready before we make it relationship again, how do we know when we are ready? |
t3_1oryby | relationships | I [21F] found a pregnancy test in his [22M] bathroom | So, I've been Talking to this guy for a while, we've hung out and we finally had sex. Well we went to his place, he lives at home to save on rent while in school.
So we did the deed, and took turns in the restroom, he went then I went. Well as I was throwing my tissue away I notice a stand behind the toilet. It had two women perfumes, I was confused as to why because I knew this restroom was only his, he didn't share it. I just looked past that and threw my trash away and noticed a box that said first response. I knew immediately what is was, being that I've had a couple pregnancy scared my self, it was a pregnancy test. I kind of just froze, trying to understand it all. I washed my hands and proceeded on to his bedroom.
I tried forgetting about it, because I don't want to be that crazy girl, accusing him of something that might just have a simple explanation for. We aren't official yet, so I feel like it's not my place to accuse or even assume.
What should I think/ do about this? Should I bring it up, or just drop it?
Side note.
From what I know, he doesn't have a sister and is the only kid in the house. | found perfume and a pregnancy test in the bathroom of the guy i like bathroom. Don't know if I should bring it up to him? |
t3_3b93bx | relationships | My best friend (18) dates my crush (18) | Hi,
I(16m)'ve known my best friend (18m) for 4 years now and our brothers know each other for 11 years now.
I know my crush(18f) for 4 years as well but she has been my crush for a year. Me my best friend and she are in the same class, well we are the class. Were with three in class.
I'm not the most social and handsome guy around. But my best friend is. They're both 2yrs older then me btw.
My friend and I both have a crush on her, but he only thinks of sex. I actually care about her.
So she has a boyfriend for 9 months now but my friend told me that he is secretly dating her for a week now, and that she's going to break up with her old boyfriend. From the moment he told me I wanted to cry, especially since he's my best friend. Idk but that makes everything worse.. He shows me pics of him kissing her and him spanking her and stuff. He let's me hear her saying she gets crazy about him, and that really hurts me. I don't know what to do, I feel really bad ever since and it gets worse whenever I see them. She doesn't know I know. I want to talk about it but I'm afraid he's gonna call me a wimp and that she would never want to hang out with me. I'm stuck, I don't know what to do. I only told one other friend about how I felt but he cared more about her current boyfriend.
Please give me good advice, or tell personal experiences. | My best friend dates my crush and I've known them both for 4 years. I don't know what to do. Please give me advice. |
t3_1fdcl3 | self | Taking an engagement ring on a flight for vacation proposal... Do's/Don'ts? | I need a little advice/insight...
I'm considering proposing to my girlfriend on vacation which we're flying to and was wondering if anybody has any insight on the best ways to transport an expensive ring on an airplane safely.
I'm thinking bringing it on a carry on is the only way to do it, since there's no accountability for a lost ring on a checked bag...
But I could imagine going through TSA and the lady/guy on the scanner seeing the ring in my bag and being like "OOOOOHH nice diamond ring!" like a douche. Or giving me like a wink/nudge congrats type bullshit with my girlfriend right behind me, idk. Maybe I'm just extremely paranoid about the surprise being ruined. | Anybody have experience bringing an engagement ring on a plane? Anybody with any experience with airports familiar with policies that might help me make the best decision here? |
t3_53pc7q | askwomenadvice | I need advice - Am I Just Overthinking This? | Last Friday, I (23/M) asked one of my classmates (25/f) out for drinks. While she did not seem interested in dating, she did seem to want to hang out. Beforehand, I had planned that if she wasn't interested I would just ask her to hang out some time instead, but my insecurity reared its ugly head and I froze up instead. She then asked what I was doing in the evening, and I awkwardly mumbled something about having to doing readings and assignments for class and left.
After I left, I realised that I may have accidentally given the impression that I did not want to be friends, which is definitely not the case. I can accept that people might not want to date me, but I really do enjoy talking with her and am hoping that I haven't potentially lost a friend because of my social awkwardness and lack of experience with dating in general.
Is there anything in particular I should do? She started a conversation with me in class yesterday so I assume she doesn't think I'm some creep like I was afraid she would, but she seems more reserved when I talk to her. Am I just overthinking things? If not, is there anything I can do to let her know that I want to be friends? Is nothing actually wrong and it's all in my head? If not, is there anything in particular I should do?
Sorry for the wall of text. | asked a woman in my class out, got rejected, and froze up due to insecurity and I'm afraid I might have given the impression that I didn't want to be friends afterwards. What should I do? |
t3_oqa40 | AskReddit | Is this even legal?! Worst customer service ever. | I ordered a laptop from a website, I won't name which one because customer service was very polite, just incompetent. I **needed** the laptop for work last wednesday, but because the person managing my account HAD to be brain dead, it didn't get SHIPPED until wednesday. Fine, but then some brain dead moron had to send it HOME DELIVERY to a COMPANY. Ok, boss lets me borrow the keys, I got a phone call saying it'd be delivered between the hours of 9am-8pm. SWEET, I have a time frame.
COME SATURDAY MORNING. I arrive at the place of business at 8:50am and there's nobody around. I decide to track the package, it's now being delivered on TUESDAY because the asshole driver decided to try delivering at **7:57AM** I ABSOLUTELY NEED this laptop BEFORE MONDAY for work or my boss is going to have my ass on a plater.
Also, he didn't leave a tag on the door. How is this even legal? They SAID "Between 9AM and 8PM" fuck it's even on their website! How can they do that and then try to deliver at 7:57AM! | Ordered an important package, said they'd deliver between 9am-8pm, they delivered at 7:57am and they're now telling me I'm fuck out of luck. Didn't leave a door tag. |
t3_3p9rhu | relationships | Me [23 F] with my two roommates [early-20s F], one of them has very loud sex all the time. I don't care... but the other roommate does. | I'll keep it short. We're all college students. One of my roomies, Becca, has sex loudly and frequently, sometimes very early in the morning (~7am) and sometimes multiple times a day. She'll even do it when there is company over.
My other roommate Nicky texted me today asking "So which one of us is going to confront our roommate about the noises coming from her bedroom all the time?". Apparently the loud, frequent sex makes Nicky uncomfortable and wakes her up in the morning. She said it was getting to the point where she would leave the apartment to study/get dinner when Becca has a boy over.
I'm a neutral party here. I really don't care about the sex noises. Sex happens. However, I feel keeping myself uninvolved will alienate me from Nicky, not to mention it's unfair that she's being chased out of her own apartment because of this. On the other side of that coin, I've had to talk with Becca before because I walked in on her having sex in the living room. I was firm and told her that it needs to stay in the bedroom (and it has). It would make me look very sex-negative if I went on to lecture her about the sex she has in the comfort of her own bedroom.
Inaction is siding with Becca. Action is siding with Nicky. I don't want to pick sides.
In the end I told Nicky that it honestly didn't bother me, but that she deserves to feel comfortable in her own home. I asked her what exactly she wanted from Becca. She said she just wants Becca to be more quiet about it, which seems reasonable. So we're going to confront Becca together about this when we are all home at the same time.
Reddit, I'm asking if this is the right course of action. Should I involve myself in this? | Two roommates. One of them has loud sex and the other one doesn't like it. I'm neutral. How do I navigate this? |
t3_19fujp | AskReddit | Is /r/ conservative a joke? | Seriously, I have been unfortunate enough to get caught up in the circlejerk of /r/politics, but there exists opposing arguments and anti-hivemind comments--they may get downvoted most of the time, but often they get up-voted for being counter-ideological thoughts.
I linked over to /r/conservative to see what they're up to these days and it's a highly moderated (says so all over the place) forum where only like-minded individuals can post. Apparently you have to have permission from the mods to even start posting. Reminds me of SRS and other circlejerk subs where you have to be 'in on the joke' to get it.
So is /r/conservative a joke, or is this an accurate representation of the American conservative movement--that is a movement that (in my opinion) is threatened by obviation and chooses to ignorantly cling to ideological expedient philosophy. (yeah I kinda' got ranty for a bit) | is /r/conservative a joke, orvare conservatives so threatened by getting behind the 'times' that they choose to ignore reality? |
t3_2y7512 | tifu | TIFU By Sleeping With My Cousin | Okay happened a while back, was debating if I should post this or not.
For my job I had the opportunity to relocate to Seattle which of course came with more money. I have always wanted to move from California so I was very excited. I was scheduled to go to Seattle and meet managment and such.
I knew nobody in Seattle but my mom mentioned to me that my cousin Sara lives there. So I get in contact with my cousin and was scheduled to stay at her place for the weekend. The meeting for work was on Monday. I was scheduled to arrive Friday but she had plans that day so I stayed at a motel.
Well I settle in and decide to take a cab to a bar. I exchange glances with a cute gal and proceed to buy her a drink. We end up being very compatable and she agrees to go back to my place. We have sexy time and she tells me she cant stay the night. She wants to meet again so we exchange numbers, I call her at that instance and my phone says calling Sara. FML!!
She leaves ackwardly bolts out of there and I never talk to her again. I spent the weekend in the motel. On Monday I went to meet management but turned down the offer. I should have facebook-ed Sara before. | went to Seattle for job relocation. Went out to bar, hooked up with my cousin. Turned down job offer. |
t3_2mkeyk | relationships | Me [27 F] with my SO [25 M] of 1 year. There is an income disparity. Is this an issue? | My SO [25m] and I [27f] have been dating about a year and things are going quite well but there is an income disparity.
My SO has no debts at all (no student loans, car loans, credit card debt) and has a decent salary (75 k starting) with substantial guaranteed raises.
My salary is 40k, which isn't much less on paper, but I also have a moderate car loan, about 25k in student loans, and some credit card debt.
Basically, I live paycheck to paycheck and he lives to save.
Are disparities in income issues in the success of long term relationships? We haven't had any issues so far, but it's still pretty early on and I have had friends with income issues is the past.
What does r/relationships think? Have you been in a relationship with large differences in income / assets?
Thanks | Dating a wonderful guy for almost a year but there is an income / asset disparity. Is this an issue for long term success? |
t3_2xbhfa | relationships | I'm a [26 M] attending University, should I try and talk to/date girls much younger than I am? | Hey, I'm in probably my 3rd year of College after taking a long break after I finished HS. I went back to get my shit together. So here's my problem, since I'm quite a bit older than everyone here I don't know if I should even TRY and pursue a relationship. I guess 18-20 year old girls might still be too young, but ideally 21+ would be the target range. However, it's not like I can pinpoint all girl's ages simply by looking right? There's not really any other way for me to meet people, especially at my age and at the same point in their lives.
I guess the it's kind of a mixture of a few problems; A) Should I try and talk to girls with the pursuit of a relationship in mind? B) Should I feel weird trying to get girls that much younger? and C) How big of a factor would my age be? I'm aware that it's on a per-person basis but I don't know... does anyone happen to have been in or seen someone in a similar situation?
Since my semester has started not too long ago, I haven't really had a chance I guess to try and talk to any girls especially with the nature of the classes (STEM, etc.) I'd LIKE to be in a relationship especially considering it's been so long since I last dated which was high school. That reason being that from the period after I graduated high school til I started college again I was huge (280 pounds at one point) and I had pretty low confidence. Now I've lost that weight and shredded up (185 atm). I'm decent looking, decent height, and pretty fit. I've always been a little bit introverted and I still retain a bit of those self-confidence issues from when I was heavy. So yeah... I don't know. Should I bother trying to date in college at my age? Or should I find some alternative? | Guy older than his college peers wants to date but is not sure if it's a good idea or what his relative chances are. |
t3_2a0qz4 | relationship_advice | [25/m] Met a girl [25/f] while traveling this summer. Moving back home in a few weeks. Not sure what to do. | I'm a 25/m from the East Coast spending this summer on the West Coast. During my first week here, I met a girl [25/f] at a happy hour through some mutual friends. We've kind of a hit it off and since then have been on a couple dates. I told her when I first met her that I'm only here for the summer (and have also mentioned it a couple times since then), so I had thought this relationship would be something more casual.
But I'm having difficulty figuring out what she is looking for. All of our dates have been simple, like Sunday brunch or dinner. We're both pretty busy with work during the week, and we haven't hooked up yet. But I've enjoyed our dates and have started to like her more.
During the last couple days, we've been texting less (rather she's been responding less frequently). I'm thinking that this is probably ending soon, which is okay. I know long distance would be very difficult. I'm planning on calling her or at least try to meet up briefly to discuss all of this, but I would like Reddit's opinion on this first. Thank you very much. | Traveled across country for this summer. Met a girl, but don't think we'll last. Would like a second opinion. |
t3_1qhndu | loseit | Questions about diet soda | Hey guys,
I have a couple of questions about diet soda. I'm finding that it's the one thing that I haven't been able to consistently cut out since I started getting serious about losing weight. I used to easily drink 60 ounces of regular soda per day (Dr. Pepper is my BIGGEST weakness). I'm now only doing 12-20 ounces of diet every other day, but I'd like to cut even that out. My questions are:
1.) Does anyone have similar cravings? How have you overcome them?
2.) I don't want to fall into the "well it has zero calories so it's ok!" trap. I've read about how aspartame is linked to cancer, but does anyone know how the chemicals in diet soda can negatively affect weight loss?
A little background on me:
I started my weight loss journey back in June of this year, and have so far been pretty successful - down 42 pounds from 225 to 183. I'm male, 5'8", 24 years old, and my goal is to get down to 165 before bulking to 180. For exercise, I lift 3x per week (Stronglifts 5x5), and martial arts 3x per week on off days (kickboxing, muay thai, and jiu-jitsu).
For eating, I was on a severe calorie deficit - 700 under maintenance, and was close to a 40% fat/20% carbs/40% protein spread. Now, I'm not counting calories as religiously, and I'm eating slightly more carbs and slightly less fat (30% each). I'm still very careful about making good choices when I eat though - lots of chicken, veggies, and brown rice.
Any and all insight you can give is much appreciated! | I've lost 42 pounds of my 60 pound goal, but I still drink a decent amount of diet soda. Need some more info on how it can affect me. |
t3_1od0w4 | relationship_advice | [24/m] my girlfriend (25/f) doesn't trust me any more | I've screwed up.
I've been going out with her about a year and we have lived together about 6 months.
I've told my girlfriend a few times that I would be home by a certain time on nights out by myself and for various reasons ended up being home much later.
It's happened a few times now and each time she gets more and more angry.
The first time I just stayed out because I was really drunk and I forgot what I'd told her. When I came home she was really upset and after a few days we made up and I promised to not let it happen again.
Then a few nights ago I went out on my own, told her I'd be home by 1am.
She was skeptical but I was adamant that she could trust me and I wouldn't do what I did last time.
But I ended up getting lost, couldn't find the right bus (we're very low on money), then had to wait over an hour for a cab, and ended up getting home at 4am.
Now she says she'll never believe a promise I make etc and she thinks I just went out to a club and didn't give a shit about her etc.
I can't prove that I couldn't get home and I can see why it looks like what she thinks (that I just said fuck it and went out till 4am and took a cab home), even though I know it's not true.
She's now not talking to me, and last time she was this upset we almost broke up.
How can I fix this? | went out solo, promised gf home by 1am, got lost, ended up home at 4am. She thinks I just got super drunk like last time and isn't talking to me and says she will never trust me |
t3_3ltlwv | relationships | I (29f) want to have a baby someday. My bf (28m) of 11 months is "on the fence". Is this a deal breaker? | I want to say first that I love my boyfriend. I have had some crap relationships in my life that lasted way too long (5+years) and it feels very different with him. I respect who he is as a person and as a partner. He's loving, affectionate, sexy, ambitious, funny, mellow...everything I've ever wanted in a man. We talk about getting married sometimes and he doesn't seem afraid of it (he even "accidentally" refers to me as his wife sometimes). We have so much in common and very similar lifestyles. We're both pretty career driven and successful, and we love being this power house couple together. I've spent the last 11 months falling head over heels for him and I like the way our potential future looks together.
There's just one worry in the pit of my stomach. I want to have a child someday (I've always been upfront about this, we met online and it was on my profile, plus we've talked about it) and he is "on the fence". He says he goes back and forth. Sometimes he does and sometime he doesn't. He has always been upfront about that, too. There is no question in my mind, though, it is definitely something that I want in my future. I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and it's starting to sink in that I need to put a time frame on it if I'm going to make it happen (nothing against anyone who makes it work after 40, but that's the absolute oldest I'd want to get pregnant, ideally it'd be more like 34-35). I don't have years to waste with someone who will eventually decide they don't want the same things in life that I do. I have wasted my years before and I'm afraid of repeating my mistake.
Do you think a relationship can work like this? Do you think he'll eventually come around? How should I proceed with this? I really appreciate any advice. | I want to have kids someday (4-10 years) and my bf is not sure. Is this an absolute deal breaker? If not, how should I proceed? |
t3_1c0an4 | AskReddit | What was the best 'karma's a bitch' event you've ever seen given to someone who truly deserved it? | Wanted to post here to hear your stories.
This happened today:
On the 6 train today going into the city, some girl gets on board and takes up two seats from across me near the sliding doors. She's SKINNY, dressed to impress and has her earphones set on blast.
An elderly couple get on board with the man having a cane and walking in a baby-steps motion. Since her big ass Fendi bag doesn't need a whole fucking seat to itself, the elderly woman gently waves at the girl to ask if she could scoot over so her husband can sit near the edge (better to grab on to the bars when he needs to get back up). I SHIT YOU NOT this bitch looks up, takes out her earphones, HUFFS and says "No".
This mothafucka. Me and like 4 other people get out of our seats to offer them instead, they end up taking mine because I have a seat to the edge and the person who sat next to me gave up her seat as well, a little girl who was seated nearby told her dad 'she should've said yes'. 5 or 6 stops roll by and the elderly couple got off, thanking me and the other woman profusely for being so kind. Same woman and I are able to get back the same seats since other people standing up motion for us to take them back. Everyone is staring daggers at the stuck up bitch. Not seeming to care, she goes on fiddling on her iPhone when not even 2 stops later she gets up to exit.
I noticed she's wearing really cute black bumps, must've been 5 inch heels too. When she was about to get off, one of those perfectly shiny 5 inch heels went straight in between the train and platform making for a spectacular descent to the filthy, gum infested floor. The audience enjoyed a nice, loud smack effect as well. That didn't even top it off, what did it was that same little girl saying to her dad and rather loudly, "I wish she hit the floor harder."
Nobody got up to help her. I looked at the little girl, nodded in approval and tuned my iPod to this [song] Today is a good day. | Girl does not give up extra seat for an elderly man to sit down, ends up falling on her face on the way out. |
t3_2k3ep7 | personalfinance | How much will auto insurance go up? | Hi PF,
I was in a minor fender bender earlier this week, both cars drive-able and not even any damage to the other car.
I've got a couple options - i could repair the few parts on mine (bumper, fender, headlight, and hood) out of pocket and get them painted by a shop for about $2000 total
OR
I could just file an insurance claim; I've gotten a few quotes for $3400 and $4300 and just pay the $1000 deductible and take the rate hike.
Main reason I ask is I'm 22 just out of college and am in the bracket to get hit the hardest for risky drivers given any accidents/ tickets, however my driving record is currently clean.
Is this worth filing a claim for to get it done "right"?
Thanks!! | minor accident $4000 damage, $1000 deductible. 22, M, CO, USAA insurance. Vehicle: Subaru WRX STi. Current premium is $125/ mo with clean record, full coverage. |
t3_1hh32z | legaladvice | [California] I was arrested 2 months ago for public intoxication and was told I was going to have a court date but never got one. What do I do? | Long story short, I got blackout drunk at a party and went to the concert my campus was throwing and was arrested for public intoxication (May 15, 2013). I spent 9 hours in a cell and was released without having to pay bail.
Here is the part that has concerned me, I can't remember exactly the date the cop gave me when I was getting my stuff back right before I was released but he might of have said that my court date was July 15 (2 months after my arrest). I have not received anything in my mail regarding that incident and neither have received phone calls or have had any type of communication with the cops regarding that incident.
What should I do now? Do I wait for something in the mail? Do I try calling (I don't even know where to call) asking if I have a court date? | Was arrested for public intoxication 2 months ago and have not received any letters from the mail regarding court dates when I was told my court date is July 15. |
t3_3j9jwb | relationships | 21 (m) I need some advice on my gf(21) decisions. | Long story short. 5 years long into our relationship. She met an old friend that she has been going tp church with that she had a crush on and he had a crush on her too. We have been fighting recently but i was still so in love with her that i was ready to propose and make everything better for her. But she has left me with the excuse that i hurt her for last time. I had no idea what she was talking about. She told me she forgave me for everything so i left it alone. But she told me after she left me that she never really forgave me. I told her i didnt know and now that i do know i want to make it better in our relationship. She never gave me that chance.
I convinced her to stay my friend and she says she will give me a fair chance as this other guy to show her i can be the man she fell in love with. I wanted her to stay with me and make it better but she will not allow that. It hurts so much i cant stop crying. I was going to propose. Why won't she stay with me and let me fix it like we always have before. Its not like she never hurt me but when she begged for another chance i gave it to her.
She said she feels she made the right decision. But i feel so used. I took her and her brother into my parents home when she had nowhere else. I paid for her. I got her a car. I did sooooo much. I feel that i deserve that one last chance. But she wont let me. She agreed to let me try as a friend to win her back but i feel like im competing. Its not fair a guy she hadnt talked to in years gets a fair chance as me. Plz help. Im so depressed. She was my first everything and i was hers. She said she doesnt know what to tell me and doesnt know her feelings for me. Her defenses and walls are up. What can i do? I love her so much that i cant bear to loose her. | gf left me because i hurt her and wont give me the option to stay in this relationship and make it work. Im competing against a guy she knew in the past. |
t3_sw3ye | dogs | our dog is getting older and taking over our life. what's the right choice? | i'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but i am in desperate need of advice.
my wife and i have a little dog who is going to be 18 this year. recently, his health has gone way downhill. he is completely blind and is on 3 different medications - one for blood pressure, one for his thyroid and another nutritional supplement to stave off dimensia. he also occassionally has seizures and they dont know the cause without having to do expensive things like MRI, and he has a heart problem. i can't remember the name of the problem, it's something to do with irregular heartbeat.
because he is blind, he needs to be hand fed and guided to his water. it's quite difficult to get him to drink sometimes.
his sleeping schedule is completely off whack - it is like that of a baby. we are waking up many times at night to him whining for something, be it food, water, or the bathroom, or sometimes he just wants to be held.
the worst thing is that we cannot go anywhere or do anything now that he is like this. my wife wants to cancel a trip in july we have been planning on for over a year because it would be too expensive to board him and she doesn't want to leave him alone. we can barely even ever go out for a night on the town.
i think of how this could go on for at least a few more years and the thought alone drives me insane. is that selfish?
i love the dog as much as she does, but sometimes i think it might be better if he was put down. he is not suffering physically (as far as we know), but his quality of life has deteriorated greatly. but how can i possibly bring this up? is it even appropriate? keep in mind this dog has been with her since it was a small puppy. i have only known him for about 7 years. | older dog's quality of life has greatly deteriorated, requires constant attention, wife wants to cancel trips and plans on his behalf, forcing us to stay home all the time to take care of him. not sure where to go from here. |
t3_3bcfu2 | Dogtraining | Young dog afraid of having collar grabbed? | Hiya,
The dog I'm going to be adopting, [Blue] is clearly not used to wearing a collar, therefore whenever I do reach for it he'll flip over and mouth me off. I work at the shelter he's at so it gives me some time to work with him before I finalize the adoption, so I'm also working on him with leash biting. My co-worker told me simply to grab his collar and sit him down when he starts leash biting and give him a stern 'No' and reward him when he calms down but typically whenever I reach for his collar or even his side he growls. I can't really tell if it's a 'warning' or a 'playful' growl and I don't want to misinterpret what he's telling me. I tried him in a harness to see if he's any better but after a few minutes he kept somersaulting until half the harness was in his mouth and i still couldn't reach for his collar or the harness without him growling.
Normally I would keep at trying to reward him when he calms down but once he's outside he doesn't really show any interest in treats, unlike when he's inside he can't get enough of them. And what I'm mainly worried about it not necessarily him biting me, but if he manages to wiggle out of his collar at some point and I can't grab him without him flipping all over.
If anyone has any advice on how to work with Blue on getting used to wearing a collar having it used, or a harness I'd really appreciate it. Or any really smelly treats that might get his attention better to reward him for good behavior. | Shelter dog doesn't like his collar grabbed and will flip and possibly will growl when i do so, not sure if playful or a warning. (growling typically accompanied with leash biting) |
t3_15tuxs | dating_advice | I [M, 19] am in love with my friend [F, 19] but she is in a relationship. | I've only known this girl for a few months, but I must say I've fallen for her. We are both attracted to each other, are flirty on occasion, get along really well and have talked about how hard it is to find someone who clicks as well as we do. And I'm not worried about being "friend-zoned" here. She has been dating this guy for just shy of 3 months, he lives an hour away, and she only sees him a few times a semester.
Now for the record, I have zero intention in messing with their relationship. I've met this guy and I don't have anything against him; he's nice enough. I don't want to break them up or convince her to cheat on him with me. That is not something I plan on ever doing. But I'm honestly losing it over this girl. I'm having trouble sleeping, I'm barely eating. I think about her every day and all I want to do is talk to her. Ignoring her won't work because she is a close friend. She texts or we'll see each other almost every day. Telling her how I feel isn't something I want to do either for fear it will hurt our friendship or put her in an uncomfortable position, both of which are things I don't want to put her through. And I feel too attached to her to have any interest any other girls at the moment.
What can I do, you know, besides just sit and wait for the two of them to eventually break up? I'm going mad here and I have no idea what to do next. | I'm in love with my female friend but she has a boyfriend. I'm not messing with their relationship, so besides sitting and waiting, what can I do? |
t3_ij1v1 | AskReddit | Reddit, if any of you experience these symptoms, or have medical knowledge please help! | It's difficult to type this, and I'll explain why:
For about a year and a half now, I've been extremely uncomfortable around strobe lights, as of recently, aproximately 1 month ago, I became unable to take pictures with camera flashes on. I can't explain why, but the flashing, the rapid stimulation of the light, bothers me and makes me feel uncomfortable. If the flash is particularly powerful, from the one experience I had, I began shaking and felt an odd sensation all over. This occurred when attempting to take a Prom picture with my girlfriend at her Prom.
What happens is, during the camera flash, I cringe, I don't know why, I just do. Lately, It happens around flickering lights as well. Just the other day I was working on an Excel Spreadsheet and I began feeling ill, I went to the bathroom, washed my face, returned to my computer, and I got this pulsating pain which could only be described as located right where my neck meets my head.
After experiencing this pain, I went to the hospital where they gave me an MRI and a Cat-scan and the doctors said there was nothing I had to worry about according to the results. (MRI was Brain scan).
I have an appointment with a neurologist soon,
I can provide more information if necessary, I just hope someone can lead me to some information that might help. | Sensitive to flickering lights, and strobes, mri and catscan negative, neurologist appointment soon, worried, any idea what could be? |
t3_2zatv1 | AskReddit | Have you ever met someone from online you were in a long distance with, how did it go? | After a long time of waiting, an opportunity may be happening that I get to meet my long distance interest. A couple of friends are headed to his city for a different event. Right now he and I aren't on speaking terms and he has been ignoring me. He's never met me in person before but I think he'd like me in person.
My friends have family and friends there. I'll text him a location: if he shows at a location to meet me, he does, or doesn't. Either way, I'm going to try to have a fun time and see what his city is like with or without him. | Done always wondering what could have been, I want to know what it would be like in person. Have you ever met someone from online you were in a long distance with, how did it go? |
t3_1g46y4 | relationships | Me[40M/F] with my GF [38/F] of 6 months-She didn't use a condom with past bf but did with all others. | My GF of 6 months told me she didn't use a condom with her last bf from the get go. She said they had sex on the 4th date or so and just didn't bother with condoms. She said the guy said he was tested and was clean. She used condoms with all other guys before him.
She and I don't use condoms because we waited until both our tests results for STDs came back negative to stop using them though we did use them at the beginning.
The actions with the last bf makes me believe he was something special and that I'm less so. She has told me this is not true but it just doesn't make sense to me how she could make all these other guys use condoms but not this one guy. She said she didn't love him and that he was nothing special so I'm confused.
I love her no matter what and this issue really isn't about that. It is more about why him but not others. I guess I just don't understand. Is this common? | Girlfriend went bareback with last bf from the first sexy time but no other guys really. Is this something women just do? Is this common? |
t3_2lmvqm | self | How to pickup girls at college parties? How to keep her interested? | I'm currently a freshman, and haven't spent a single sober weekend without going to parties friday/saturday and have made tons of friends through them. I always end up meeting women and talking to them, but i always hit the wall, where i can't think of anything more to talk about, and we just sort of stand there awkwardly until we slowly move away from each other. My friends always find some kind of common ground with the girls they meet at parties, but my interests are a bit....odd with the crowds that go to the house parties. For example, my hobbies include things like audio hardware/android software and hardware/more experimental or "hipster" music(oneohtrix point never or animal collective to name some of the more popular artists i listen to). Do you guys have any good general questions that could keep a conversation going? or any comments i should drop in to give a "clue" of what im trying to go for? thanks in advance for the answers! | What to talk about/keep the conversation going with girls at parties? i have odd interests, so its very rare that i find somebody i can relate to/find a common interest with. |
t3_1z16em | relationships | Me [25M] with my friend [22F], can't tell if she's interested in me. | So this girl and I go to school together and have been friends for a few years. For the most part it's been a school friendship - hangout on campus, go to the same university parties, etc., and rarely did our group of friends just have one of those "hey guys, come over and we'll watch a movie" nights. Just recently (the past 3 weeks) I've became slightly interested in dating her.
Last week I asked her if she wanted to meet up on campus and study together (obviously wasn't supposed to be a date, truly just to study), and she said she didn't want to study. I teased her a bit with a guilt trip, and she laughed and suggested doing something together besides studying. So we went for coffee, had a good time, but it wasn't until later when I reflected on the night that she is definitely the type of girl I would date. That was our first ever time hanging out just 1 on 1.
This week I saw her and complimented her (she did her hair differently), and she said "aww thanks, you're an angel" ...and I don't know if that is a good response or not, I've never had a girl call me that lol.
Regardless of the responses here, I'm going to ask her out. However, I just thought I'd get some opinions. She suggested hanging out away from school, so I took that as a positive, but I'm not sure what to think about her reply to my compliment?
Cheers! | Been friends with this girl for about 4 years, I'm interested in her but not sure if she's showing interest back. |
t3_36rz2t | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of a year says he doesn't love me anymore. | Me [25/f] with my [24/m] boyfriend of one year says he doesn't love me anymore.
I thought everything was perfect in our relationship. We had just came back from a amazing vacation (I thought so anyway) in the Florida keys and he broke up with me 2 days later saying he doesn't love me anymore. I was so blindsided I still don't understand what it was that even caused this. I've tried to ask and he "doesn't know what to tell me" and "this is the hardest thing" he's ever done. We were supposed to move in 4 weeks later and he pulls the carpet out from underneath me with all of this as we return from our vacation. I think he's scared. Any thoughts? | came back from vacation, supposed to move in together, broke up with me right as we got back said the trip was his final attempt to feel any spark |
t3_3po7m0 | tifu | TIFU By editing a document at school | Happened 40 minutes ago.
I was at school, and I decided to edit one of the documents online in word that we needed to print out. After making it extra edgy I left it at my computer and went to do something else. One person asked if I could print out the document for him, so I printed it out for 5 people at the same time.
This is the fuck up.
I printed the edited version of the document which was super edgy, and handed it out to people. Figured it out after 5 minutes where one of the blocks on the worksheet said "MEMES" in giant black letters. Everybody knew about it before I did and all looked at me. Shit. | edited a handout at school and replaced every word with something edgy, then accidentally printed it out and handed it to 5 people. |
t3_1d0wuk | personalfinance | Is switching companies now the norm to receive better pay? | A co-worker of mine is leaving my company because she will be getting more at another company for similar duties. She just had her annual review and it isn't in our budget plan to give raises past 2-3%. This past year, our insurance rates went up so the raise doesn't even beat inflation in addition to extra costs. This isn't the first time we've lost employees to other companies because of pay. The people I work with are nice and good people but the cost of living in the area is too high compared to what my company pays.
Those higher up get paid well but lower employees that do a lot of work for the higher up don't get recognized. I have my annual review coming up and although I've accomplished a lot in the past year, I'm not expecting much because of a minimal raise last year. | Is it now the norm to switch companies in order to get a substantial raise? I've looked at similar position that offer $10-$20k a year but feel employee loyalty. |
t3_wb46w | relationships | Want a relationship instead of a fuck buddy. Please help. | Hey, so i'm a 21 year old guy and I have been in kind of a "fuck-buddy" relationship with this 21 year old girl for the past couple months.
Basically, I have grown actual feelings for her, not just sexual. We text all day every day and we hang out once or twice a week and we really like spending time together.
We pretty much always end up having sex at the end of the night, and there isnt much more to it. We have had a talk about a month ago about how she isn't interested in dating anyone right now or being in a relationship with anyone and I didn't either at the time so I agreed.
However, now, I'm liking this girl hardcore, and I would really like it to be something more. Maybe not even RIGHT now, but I just want to know if she feels the same way or if I should try to stop having these feelings for her, which would probably mean ending the sex.
Reddit, I don't know what to do. I want to talk to her and let her know how I feel, but at the same time, I don't want to freak her out. And I also don't want to stop having sex with her, as weird as that sounds, but I feel like i'm hitting a breaking point and Im going to get pretty hurt if we keep this up and then nothing happens.
Any advice or anything? | Have feelings for my fuck buddy, not sure if she does back but am pretty sure she doesn't want to date anyone right now. |
t3_1vkmjg | relationships | Me [25 M] my girlfriend [24 F] of two years, wants me to move out but still be together. | We have been dating for two years and living together for one year.
She is extremely insecure and so am I says I completely lost her trust by talking to an ex and friends that are girls. I never flirted with any of them and had any intentions of cheating on her and she treats me as if I have.
Now she wants me to move out of our apartment for a few months for her to trust me again and ease back into the relationship.
Is talking to girls behind your gf's back considered cheating even though I had no dirty intentions?
Does anyone ever have a relationship work out after moving out from living together for so long?
I said it is taking a step backwards and I did not want that idea since if i moved out back to my parents we would be like 500 miles apart. | Lived with gf for a year now she wants me to move out so our relationship can grow. Does that ever work for anyone? |
t3_13fv58 | relationships | 19 Male needs advice on 21 Female | I am 19 year old College Sophomore and am VERY interested in Female 21 College Junior. We have know each other for about two weeks and I have made it clear that I am interest in moving the relationship forward to a dating relationship.
She explained to me that she is not ready for a relationship because she does not know me that well yet. (which is reasonable) Also, she lost her best guy friend whom loved her and she loved him (never dated but had said they should). He one day told her that he couldn't stand breaking up with her if it ever happened and for that reason he couldn't date her.
Since then he has refused to talk to her, answer her letters, emails, facebook messages, ect. its been 6 months and she doesnt have the closure she needs to get past this heart breaking relationship.
Ok so my questions are, Do you have any advice for her so she can get the closure?
And I really like this girl and really want to eventually date her, What do should I do in this situation? | She needs closure of a hurtful past relationship with a guy that refuses to communicate in anyway. How can she get the closure? and what should I do in the situation as I get to know her better. |
t3_4v5k01 | relationships | I [22 M] Feel Like I Have Nothing to Offer and that Nobody Would be Interested in Me | I don't really know how to explain it. I feel like there is no reason anyone would ever be interested in me. I feel like most people seem to have something going on in their lives, some sort of talent or endeavour that makes them interesting, and I don't really have anything.
I feel like I'm at the age where most of my peers are doing something interesting. Some are playing in bands or having their art displayed in galleries. One guy is doing research in Germany with underwater lasers. Some people do things like fly helicopters, others have some sort of fitness businesses going or something. It looks like most people are traveling, too. Meanwhile, I've never even been out of my province. Though I have some hobbies, I don't feel like I have made much progress in any of them and feel like I've never accomplished anything I can be proud of.
I recently downloaded that Tinder app, and even going through people's photos on there sparks feelings of inferiority in me. I automatically feel that somebody is "out of my league" if I see photos that confirm they have an active social life, such as photos of them doing things I've never experienced, like surfing or skydiving or something. Even something as simple as hiking, I've never done, and feel like I can't because I don't drive. I always feel like the prospect of meeting people or perhaps even doing something like asking a woman out would be futile because there isn't really anything interesting in my life that I could share with another person. Like, what would I even do with those people? People want to bond over mutual activities, and I think people would lose interest in me after seeing that I'm not involved in anything and there's nothing "fun" about me.
I don't really know how to explain this feeling and I don't think I've expressed myself very eloquently. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? | I feel like I'm not good enough to interest other people and have relationships (platonic friendships or romantic relationships) |
t3_21x57o | loseit | So I had a wake up call (Long post TLDR included ) | These last 8 months i have been in a deep dark pit of which I thought there was no return from. In this 8 month span I quit an amazing job I had, gained 30 pounds (i was already a bigger dude to begin with), watched my relationship of 2 1/2 years crumble to nothing, and self admittedly turned into a slob.
Im not quite sure what had happened to me but I fell into a motivation-less hole that I thought couldn't get out of. I went from a outgoing, social person, to a nothing.
This led me to being 5'11 and 280 pounds. I always hovered around 240 but was never really down on myself. I knew I was a bigger guy but I guess I was kinda able to pull it off. I had enough self esteem to get me through that.
What led me to my wake up call was my aforementioned girlfriend breaking up with me. As weird as it sounds then next day I woke up earlier than I ever had in that 8 month slump and went straight to cleaning up my apartment, putting in job applications and eating a salad for lunch and dinner ( I cant remember the last time I had a salad before this).
Fast forward two weeks and here I am. I went to my first job interview yesterday which was a positive step in the right direction and have maintained my diet as well as going to the gym which has lost me 12 pounds in these past two weeks.
Here is the reason I am posting in this sub reddit. I need a bit of help with my diet. I in a given day have been eating around 900 calories, 30 carbs, and on average 20gs of protein a day, while taking a multivitamin, and ONLY drinking water with an occasional morning coffee. Yet some people say I am "starving myself" Am i doing this right? | I went from being a depressed overeating slob and need some help on a diet plan that is not only healthy but not starving myself. |
t3_31nouq | tifu | TIFU by potentially catching my father cheating on my mom | Okay so this happened yesterday. I've been waiting for my parents to finish their taxes so I can update and finish up my FAFSA (federal financial aid) stuff for college. I wake up and head downstairs, greet my dad who's doing various things in the back yard.
> "hey pops, how's it going?"
> "not bad, just watering the plants. By the way I've finished the taxes, so you can go ahead and fill that into your FAFSA"
Pleasantly surprised, I hop on the computer and open up the FAFSA website to update. I decide if he's only just finished it yesterday, turbotax or whatever will be pretty recent in the Internet history. Here's where the fuck-up happens.
As I scroll down the history, looking for anything resembling a tax website, I see various links to Craigslist. My dad loves buying and selling things on Craigslist, so I didn't find anything off about it until I read them...
> "(M)arried but need fuck mate"
> "looking to split a room Sunday night, voyuer or more!"
> "let's get naked and go swimming in your pool"
The list goes on. The last one was particularly weird because my dad does a little swim instructing part-time for a little more money on the side...
I don't know exactly how to proceed, but I've decided to keep a lookout on that computer's history to see if more shows up. This might've just been one of those tangents where you randomly keep clicking links until you've found yourself somewhere totally weird... | checked family computer history to load up some tax info and found craigslist personal ads looking for casual sex, etc. |
t3_4ix5ok | relationships | Me [30 F] with my Mother In Law [60 F] - she told me about a biopsy and told me not to tell my husband. What do I do? | I work with my Mother In Law. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and I get along well with his family, Just to claridy, I am not any closer to his mother than most wives are to their in-laws. We are cordial, no drama or issues. I say this because today I ran into her at work and she confided something a bit more personal than normal. I asked how she was doing as I passed by and she stopped me and said she had a endoscopy and they found a lump. The lump was being biopsied but she was worried it could be cancer. I asked if she had told my husband yet, and she said she wanted to wait until the test results. Then she asked me not to tell him I know.
So, I feel that I should keep this from my husband and let it come from his mother. But, what if she mentions that she told me earlier - he might get mad I kept it from him. Do I tell him now? Do I tell him she confided in me AFTER she tells him? Or do I just play dumb throughout this whole thing. I just don't want him to be mad to find that I knew and held it from him. Ugh, I really wish she hadn't told me! | MIL told me about her cancer screening - told me not to tell her son (my husband). What do I do? |
t3_zb6fs | AskReddit | Starving art teacher leaving home for the first time needs advise. | I have a job teaching art on the weekends that will cover my rent.
My other expenses are about $400/mo, and break down(roughly) as
follows (I have cut every corner I possibly can [thanks, r/frugal!], but I will take any suggestions to that effect):
Utilities: $30/mo
Credit Cards: $60/mo
Gas: $80/mo
Health Insurance: $145/mo
Food: $80/mo
My job teaching art is about an hour away (I commute to my hometown).
I am a certified art teacher in PA and I am waiting to be approved to
substitute teach in 3 different districts close to my apartment. The pay will be about $80/day, but subbing is unreliable as a means of income as it is often inconsistent.
I am currently applying to restaurants/retail jobs for evenings that
will hopefully generate adequate income, but I just started doing so
about a week ago and I have not heard back from any of those places
yet (I applied to about 15).
My question/concern is: Until I begin subbing somewhat regularly/hear
back from any of the places I applied to work evenings,
what is an easy way for me to generate some income
quickly/legally/without dealing with excessive red tape? | My living expenses are $400/mo. How can I sustain myself financially for a month or two until I find a gig as a substitute teacher/ restaurant work in the evenings? |
t3_1sweoa | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20F], 1 year 8 months, I don't feel the same for her anymore. | My girlfriend and I recently got back together after she kissed some other guy, because I decided to forgive her and honestly I was just feeling lonely from not being in a relationship anymore. I feel like I no longer love her and I'm wasting my time.
I'm worried about breaking up with her because of how tied to me she is and how much h a part of her family I've become. On top of all that, Christmas is coming and she already got me gifts, as well as her parents. I still want to be her friend and so gifts aren't too much of a problem, as I'm still getting her one . I'm just worried that I should wait till after Christmas. I really don't want to break her heart during the holidays.
I don't really find myself too excited to see her, and i actually have an interest in other females, which I didn't really have before this. What do I do? | girlfriend cheated on me, I forgave her, been with her for almost two months again but I don't feel that I love her anymore. Should I break up with her? |
t3_2qk6ar | relationships | Me [31F] with my boyfriend [33 M] together 3 years, upset because didn't hear from him on Christmas | We celebrated time together a few days before Christmas and things were absolutely great. Then had to both spend time with our own families for Christmas week (his choice) because even after 3 years he won't introduce me to his family. (Says his relationship has not been good with them in the past as he'd spent years estranged from them and is afraid they might not be welcoming to me.) I hate that we can't spend the holiday together but can understand what it's like to have difficult family.
So once he was at his families a few days before Christmas, I texted once or twice but got only a brief one word reply back. I decided he must need some space to deal with his family or felt overwhelmed by him so I figured no big deal and stopped texting him. Christmas Eve came and went without hearing from him. Then Christmas Day came without hearing from him. I texted him the next day to admit I was hurt about this. I received no reply.
I texted him today to ask if he had anything to say and he said he thought I was being clingy and didn't want to talk. For the whole of Christmas week I have literally only sent him a total of 5 texts and didn't call him once because he hates talking around his family as they give him no privacy. I replied to him that I felt my behavior was normal girlfriend behavior, not clingy, and my feelings were valid. I've told him in the past that holidays and birthdays are extremely important to me but this is not the first time he's done something like this to me and acted all distant with me or silent on my birthday or holiday. I know stuff comes up once in awhile and nobody is perfect but this seems like a continued pattern of not taking my feelings into account. | Boyfriend went silent on Christmas Eve and Christmas day while he was visiting family and accused me of being clingy. Am I right to be hurt and consider his behavior selfish? |
t3_x7rkm | AskReddit | What affects currency exchange rates? Do people know ahead of time if a certain rate between two countries will go up/down, and if it is possible -- do I need years and years of education and experience? | Hi Reddit,
I was just wondering, what affects currency exchange rates and how is it set? I'm from Canada, so taking a look at the CAD/USD exchange rate, Ive been watching it for the past few weeks and it's always around USD/CAD 1.078 to 1.02, but I have no idea what makes it go up and down.
My second related question is, after learning what makes it go up and down, are there people who can gauge what will happen tomorrow? next week? in the foreseeable future? If so, does it take many years of experience and education, or can mr. joe blow (with enough patience and self-education) be able to make certain claims and be accurate? | How can I become better educated regarding currency exchange rates, so that I may have more accurate educational guesses on how the rates will move up and down in the future? |
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