id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_49wqqr | relationships | Me [29F] questioning staying with my husband [29M] after history of verbal/emotional abuse and emotional affair | I already submitted this but I left out a LOT of detail so I am going to re-do this so anyone answering has a better understanding. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 years old, and throughout that time he was emotionally and verbally abusive. Every crises -illnesses, family illnesses-I've had he has either shut me out or even gotten angry with me for being upset. On top of that he has been critical of everything I do. Nothing I ever did from cleaning the house, or talking to his friends, was good enough. Over the years, he has said things to me that most people I talk to say is unforgivable, but I have looked past it and forgiven time and again.
Recently we moved to a new place to be close to family, and I began to talk to a coworker who had similar marital issues. We began talking to each other more than our spouses (although mine didn't listen to me when I tried to discuss our issues anyways). Essentially it became an emotional affair, and we broke it off when my husband discovered what was happening.
My husband blamed himself for what happened, and I decided to give him another chance. However, when I got home I became very depressed and standoffish which is causing him a lot of pain. He has started therapy for his anger and control issues, and is trying to make a fresh start. However, I am very overwhelmed and I feel like I no longer want to be married. Even though he is doing everything I had ever requested, I feel very checked out. I know this isn't fair to him, nor to me as I have a history of depression and I know when I go against what I feel I spiral back into it.
Does anyone have any advice on how I should tell him? | Husband was emotionally/verbally abusive and I retaliated by having an emotional affair. He is now seeking counselling for his issues but I feel checked out. How do I tell him? |
t3_5032lr | relationships | I [18 M] get annoyed and angry if my [18 F] girlfriend posts pictures of her and some other random guy on social media | Hey guys, I recently just got with a girl who I really like and have liked for years. We really like each other, no doubt about that, but sometimes she will hit the club with her friends and obviously there are guys there who will buy my girlfriend drinks.
I try my best to not get jealous about these sorts of things but she'll post snapstories of her and the guy that buys her drinks and I cant help but be annoyed and angry about this. Am I in the right place to be annoyed? Of course relationships are supposed to be about trust so I should trust that she won't do anything with that guy, but how can she be happy posting pictures like that knowing that I don't really approve of it? Doesn't posting pictures like that also give off the hint that she's acting "single?" I really don't want to be that guy in the relationship that tells his girl what she can or cannot do because its restricting but I can't help but be annoyed by this... Thank you in advance for anything that you can tell me! | Girlfriend posts pictures of her and random guy that buys her drinks at club and I get angry. Do I have a right to be annoyed? |
t3_4xdbp2 | relationships | I (18M) had sex with another girl while my girlfriend (18F) and I were broken up. Now we're back together and she feels like she needs to experience sex with someone else. | After more than a year of dating, I was feeling constrained in our relationship, and seeing as I had had very little sexual experience other than what I had with my girlfriend, I felt like I was too young and inexperienced to be committing to being in a such a serious relationship with this girl. So I broke up with her. While we were broken up, I had sex with another girl.
We recently got back together, and I know now that I love her more than anything and want to spend the rest of my life with her. The problem is that she took the fact that I had sex with another girl very hard. I'm the only person she's ever had sex with, and she has said to me that she doesn't think that it's fair that she's now meant to be expected to live out our relationship having only ever had sex with just me.
In response to this I say things to the effect of, "That is a perfectly valid way to feel, and if you think you can't stay with me because of this then you need to break up with me. It's not right to stay with me half-heartedly because you feel like you want to fuck someone else."
But she always chooses to stay with me.
She brings up the fact that I've slept with someone else every once in a while, in a very hostile way (e.g. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FUCKED SOMEONE ELSE WHILE WE WERE BROKEN UP").
The way I see it, she either needs to let it go and stay with me and stop holding it against me like a grudge, or she needs to end things with me and move on.
I feel like this is just an affair waiting to happen. | Had sex with another girl while my girlfriend and I were broken up. We're now back together, but she took it very hard and feels like she needs to experience sleeping with someone else. |
t3_4sufm2 | relationships | I (M18) recently broke up with my girlfriend (F16) | I broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago and we were together for a little over a year and a half. She was my first serious girlfriend and my first love. Ive told many people i know that i broke up with her because i wasn't happy in the relationship anymore, which i guess is true but more so its because i honestly don't know if i love her and i also don't know how to tell if i do or don't. She however is extremely in love with me and 3 months later is still a good wreck over the break up. She is my neighbor and was my best friend when we were together and i really want to keep a positive relationship as friends with her because we did not have a bad break up but I'm not sure if i should just cut her off completely and let her move on without me still being in her life somehow. People have told me i shouldn't be friends with her still but i really don't want to become strangers with a girl who was once in love with and my best friend.
Any advice on how i should continue this? | not sure if i still love my ex or not, but she is very much so in love with me. I am trying to maintain a friendship with her but not sure if thats the right decision |
t3_3uno9a | tifu | TIFU By triggering a panic attack in my girlfriend | Me and my mate recently started renting together in a flat and everyone is wanting to come and see how we're getting along. My sister wants to spend the night on the couch, and has the greatest idea of inviting my girlfriend over too, just to say hi as they haven't seen each other for a while.
Me and my sister play pranks on each other a lot, so this time, as the buzzer for the door goes, my mate and I decide to grab some masks and the larger kitchen knives and start to scheme. Oh what a terrible idea it is for us two to scheme. Assuming it's my sister taking the lift up, we run down the stairs leaving the door to the flat slightly ajar. We press the buzzer on the door, make some silly voices to throw the visitor off, then run back up the stairs, knives above our heads, burst in through the door to see... not my sister.
My girlfriend is huddled in the corner, shaking and having a massive panic attack, as she thought me and my mate were dead, and the murders were coming to finish the job. The following half hour was spent calming her down and apologising more than I ever have before. | Played a prank of my own and a friends murder on the wrong person and spent a long time comforting my panic stricken girlfriend. |
t3_1akg2u | relationships | I [17] feel my girlfriend's [17] behavior isn't acceptable but really don't know what to do. | I've been dating her for onwards of five months and this is the buildup of a decent chunk of the time. It's not one specific issue, more the culmination of many little things that build and build and recently I've become sick of it.
I literally do anything for this girl. Every way I can I'd go out of my way to do something to make her day better. Little gifts, help with stuff.. It's not a money-related problem although I (stupidly) had been buying everything for her. Lunch every day, whenever we go out I'd pay. If we're in the mall I end up buying things for her, you get the idea.
I really didn't start thinking too much about it until recently when a friend pointed it out but she honestly does *very* little in return. I'm not asking for gifts, money or anything but I realize there is never a time when I'm put before something else. It's hard to word but I have made many significant sacrifices for her and she doesn't even thank me for the majority of them.
I recently confronted her about this and said that it simply isn't going too work like that, I'm not going to pander to her every request and be a doormat forever. She makes me happy when things like this aren't apparent and it makes me happy to see her happy which is probably the problem. She's apologized - although it may be worthy to note that I know she will say sorry to prevent fights in a situation without meaning it - although I don't know what I'm really expecting to change.
Very sorry for the wall of text, I'm unsure what I'm even asking I just think I need advice. I've been told my numerous people that I deserve far better but I fear ending the relationship, not having someone to be close to...
Thank you very much to anyone who actually read this horrible mashup of thoughts | Dating for 5 months, feel like my efforts are unappreciated and met with ungratefulness. Not sure whether to work to fix the problem or something else. |
t3_2e6isz | relationships | Me [15 F] with my boyfriend [17 M] 6 months, He wanted to hang out with a girl that likes him and encourages him to cheat on me with her often. | This girl, let's call her Kay, had been going after him for at least a year before we met, but they were never really friends because she's quite immature compared to him and just wasn't what he was looking for. When we started dating she started spreading rumors about me and talking shit about me to her friends and even some of my friends! She texts him almost every day, usually without reply from him, (at least from what he's told me) and tells him how much she wishes he was single and how much she wants to be with him.
Last night he told me via text that Kay has been asking to hang out with him and that he sort of wanted to do it. I immediately told him I wasn't comfortable with that at all, and he actually questioned why I wasn't comfortable with it. Are you serious? I trust him, but not her. Not at all. She's considerably skinnier and prettier than I am which already makes me uncomfortable with him talking to her. I told him this and he basically told me, "Yeah, you're right, but looks aren't everything." I almost cried when he told me that.
I would never tell him that he couldn't hang out with her, because that's a bitch move, but rather that I am extremely uncomfortable with that. I don't want to seem controlling. Ever since he told me this I have felt completely worthless and disgusted with myself. I don't know how to make this feeling go away. Did I make the right decision by telling him this? Was I too harsh? Should I tell him I'm okay with it and just let it happen? | Boyfriend wants to hang out with a girl that hates me and wants to be with him/Did I do the right thing? |
t3_2am5tv | running | I have a silly question... Could I run in my round pen? | I have a round pen which I lunge my horses is. It's roughly 35 feet in diameter. There's already a "track" around the edge made by my horses so I don't see why I couldn't.
I know what you're thinking, "Couldn't you just run on the road or at the gym? Heck just buy a treadmill!" Well, where I live there are bears, black bears and grizzlies everywhere. You can't drive up the road with out seeing a couple. Plus momma bears and their cubs populate the area. As to why I can't go to the gym, my town of 600 people has no gym plus if it did it's 45 minutes away. I'm also to cheap to by a treadmill and they suck.. I don't like running in one spot.
Would it hurt my legs or anything in anyway running in the round pen? It's dirt and gravel by the way. | I have a 35 diameter round pen packed down with dirt and gravel. Would it be okay to run in there? Yes.. Run in circles. |
t3_2t6ras | tifu | TIFU: by taking something without knowing what it was | Ok so this is my first TIFU so sorry if the story isn't as nicely done as some of the others I read on here.. It happened about 6 years ago when I was 16. I had been smoking pot for a few months now and was still new to the whole scene. Well I was over a friends house smoking some bowls and out of nowhere he pulls out some flowers he called angel trumpets and offered them to me. I should have said no, or done some research or something.. But I decide to just throw them in my mouth and eat them. Everything was fine for the first hour after, then all of the sudden I threw up a bunch. Nothing happened after that so I got up and gathered my things and headed downstairs to leave. That's the last thing I remember. From what I was told I fell down the entire flight of stairs, used my friends moms foot as a water bottle, using my hand as a phone and a bunch of pther crazy stuff. It turned out that I had a family event the next day so when my mom hasn't heard from me all day, showed up at my friends house. She sees me fucked up, and starts screaming at me, I told her I went to a bob Marley concert and tried to jump out of our car 3 times while she drove me home. I end up regaining consciousness to my mom holding a cup in my face demanding I pee in it. | took angel trumpets and started tripping balls, told my mom I went to a bob Marley concert and almost jumped out of her car twice |
t3_3swn0i | tifu | Tifu by getting a DUI and now I feel like my world is crashing down. | I got pulled over last night after work for speeding. I'm a bartender. I had a couple drinks. I passed the field sobriety tests but blew a .14. The officer wrote down a .18. This is not what he told me. Boyfriend and I have been having trouble because of my drinking. This just shows I need to quit. The worst part is that I was driving my father's truck. He is furious. My car was just about fixed, finally, which my father had been fixing himself. Boyfriend works for my father and left this morning for a big business trip, but left without my father. He was supposed to drive him to the airport. Lack of communication there. My father was so mad not just at me but at my s.o. that he told me he basically hates my s.o. and can't stand him. I don't know what the fuck to do. We live with my parents at the moment and don't have enough money to move out, especially now that I fucked up. I feel like I'm going to lose my job because I'm gonna have to take a bunch of dui classes. I'm feeling like quitting. I just don't know what to do. Father suggested doing jail time. This is my first time offense. Fuck. I don't want to be alive. | got dui and fucked up bad with family and s.o. now feel like I don't want to live. |
t3_xair5 | AskReddit | My father got a gunshot, I need to run his company with my brother, help! | Yesterday my father got an intent of murderer outside of his office and got a gunshot that hurt his neck and his trachea, the healing may take from 2 to 3 months, he runs a security company that escort trucks from other big companies in the country, he runs it by himself, he controls finances and calls everyone to give them instructions to their next job e.g "tony, you need to go to (x city) to escort (x truck) to (y city), them they get signed a paper that they return to my father and then he compiles all the papers and put it in one bill to the company and get the money so he can pay to the escorts, my mom is vice-president and have access to one bank account, but the main account is run only by my father. We need that money to pay the employers so they will keep working, now, how can We have access to the main account so we can pay the escorts and keep the business running? He already opened his eyes but can't talk, any further details just ask. | my father runs a escort company and he's injured, and me and my brother need to run the company, how do we do this? |
t3_52y6u0 | Advice | How Can I Make My Friend Feel Better? | Over the summer my friend started dating this girl whom he'd been friends with all year long. By the end of the summer she broke up with him saying that she doesn't think she is ready for a real relationship. He was cool with it and they stayed friends but fast forward a couple weeks into school and she has a new boyfriend. He asked her why she already had a new boyfriend just a month or so after breaking up with him because she wasn't ready for a relationship. She told him that the real reason she broke up with him was because he was too anti-social and didn't want to hang out in public/with her friends but didn't say that because she wanted to spare his feelings. Since then he left group chat that he was in with me and a bunch of other friends and unfriended us all saying that he "needed a break". He eventually joined back but has still been acting pretty weird.
Everyone in said group chat is worried about him but I'm the only one who knows why he is so upset and acting weird because I asked the ex girlfriend if he was ok and she told me what happened. I don't want to tell him or our other friends that I know because he would be really embarrassed. Is there anything I can do nonetheless to help him feel better, or should I leave him to work this out on his own since that's probably what he wants to do since he didn't tell anyone about it? | My friend is depressed because his ex girlfriend got a boyfriend nearly a month after breaking up with him saying that she wasn't ready for a real relationship and I want to help him feel better. |
t3_2tpdxi | relationships | I (18 f) am thinking about warning my friend (18 m) that his new girlfriend (19-20f) has unapologetically cheated in a past relationship. | So my friend, we'll call him A, has a new girlfriend (C). I don't know her personally, however, I do know that she was one of several other women that my friend's (different friend, B) ex slept with during their relationship. This girl then used her cheating escapades to get attention by talking about it and saying that because B had forgiven the douche in the beginning of the relationship for some infidelity (we're talking before they were official) that it justified C's decision to knowingly sleep with B's boyfriend a year later.
So the meat of the problem is this. Do I warn my friend A? I'm thinking of sending an anonymous note so he can't trace it to me and he can do what he wants with the info. I'm afraid if I go to A directly he won't believe me because I used to be into him and I feel he might think I'm trying to brake them up. I'm just worried for A's feelings and potential health. But at the same time I don't know C personally and maybe she changed her ways?
And maybe I should just but out, but I feel like if I were A I would want to know.
Side note: although I once did like A I know for a fact that he is not interested so I'm no longer pursuing that. So I'm consciously trying not to mess with his personal life. Which is why I haven't just talked to him yet. | Friend is dating a known cheater, I don't know if I should interfere and tell him that she's cheated in the past. |
t3_t5eey | AskReddit | How actually important is it that the clothes or products you buy be made in America? Does it actually factor into your purchasing decision? | I'm not a person who typically thinks at all about the back-story of the products I buy except in very rare occasions. However, I was recently asked to make a video for a new "Made in America" men's underwear line for Kickstarter ([link here] they already reached their fundraising goal and I'm not involved in the company at all, so I figure I might as well post the link). In making the video I had to spend a long time getting to know the back-story of the different brands out there and I also had to spend a lot of time working with the American factory that makes this particular line. It was my first real exposure to consciously thinking about where things are made.
After it was all said and done, I looked through my own clothes and realized that I really didn't own anything actually made in America despite the fact that I supported the concept theoretically. While I don't buy new clothes too often, I'm inclined to think that I will try to buy American made in the future since I buy my clothes online anyways and it's just a matter of selecting one brand over another. But, I don't know if I would have made this decision if I hadn't been asked to work on this particular project.
That said, what are everyone's thoughts about buying products or clothes made in America? Does it actually enter your mind at all when buying things? Beyond theoretically supporting or not supporting the idea of it-- does it actually influence your purchasing decisions? | Was recently forced to become more aware of whether or not products are made in America- wondering if this is something other people think about when buying things? |
t3_1s7tah | relationships | Me [20F] with my girlfriend [21F] of 1 year, I'm having some overthinking issues about her ex-gf | Alright so her and her ex-gf broke up before my SO entered college, so about 2 years ago? They dated for awhile, but my SO broke up with her because she was figuring herself out and mainly didn't really want to be physical at the time.
Now, before I got with her she told me she wasn't over her ex. Her ex is one of her best friends, and was, even before they got together.
her ex was in a long 1 year relationship after they broke up and has broken up with that guy, and ever since then they've been hanging out/mostly getting drunk together A LOT. Is it wrong for me to feel something over this?
so tonight, my SO told me she was going out with her 'ex' and 'ex's friends' for some drinks, so I said okay because her friends would be there and whatever. Then I call and find out it's just them two, alone.. eating and getting drunk together and it's 11pm on a schoolnight.
Is it wrong for me to be mad/sad/confused over this? I trust my girlfriend, but I don't trust her ex.
extra info: me and my gf had some issues, so right after we broke up she went straight to her ex's place and got drunk/slept there.. said nothing happened and then we got back together. Then her ex texted her saying "I thought you weren't going to get back together with her again?" which I thought was rude of her to say since she doesn't really know me.
I don't know, maybe I'm just insecure. this is my first real relationship. I don't want to be overprotective and tell her she can't see her best friend anymore because of this, but to me that bff will always be her ex in my eyes. I will never get that image of them making out in my head, etc. I know there's attraction there as well.. because they wouldn't have dated before if there wasn't. help. | my gf hangs out with her ex-girlfriend alot, and is currently getting drinks with her alone tonight and getting drunk. |
t3_3mwjvl | tifu | TIFU by becoming a Telemarketer | Throwaway account, so, there's that.
After trying to find a job for several months (I live in a terrible area for it) I finally settled on getting a from-home position with a telemarketer service. I was desperate and had bills to pay, food to buy, the whole list. I kept a positive spin on it because my specific company helps people lower their monthly electricity bills. Even though we don't actually sell anything.
Yes, I am aware. People hate Telemarketers. I hate Telemarketers. I didn't know people hated Telemarketers this much. I certainly don't. Especially not now. Today was my first shift.
About half of the people were polite. A lot of "No thank you"s, some "I'm not interested", or some "Call back another time" types. Even a few "Please don't call me again, thank you." I can handle those. I like those people.
Then there was a lot of hostility and vitriol present in the other half. From swear-lined comments about my line of work to claiming that I sounded foreign (When I was born in the US and have no accent that I am aware of, nor am I foreign) and that I needed to learn English, to people that turned on pornography in the background during calls.
Then there were the ones that threatened to hunt me down and kill me for being an Alien. A "Gray-skinned, black-eyed, cow-snatching alien." According to that one fellow.
Another that went on a 30 second rant about the CIA, Conspiracies, and his ex-wife marrying an FBI agent.
I have never felt as absolutely terrible about a job in my life. I've done restaurant work for many years, I was employed at an Antique Store for a time, I even spent some time as a Assistant in an after school program for kids. No one, and I mean no one, is hated more than telemarketers. | Became a telemarketer, everyone hates me, got threatened with death. Feel really shitty. Might quit my new job tomorrow. |
t3_1macvq | relationships | How long did after your first breakup did you start dating again? | Hi all,
Ex-gf (F/21) and I (M/20) broke up about 3 weeks ago. It was a great relationship for 7 months, we loved each other very much, and it was an amicable breakup as well. We are doing NC for a while obviously. I have unfollowed her from Twitter, hidden her posts on Facebook, all the standard stuff. The only time I see her in person is at a school club we both go to once we a week. I don't talk to her or sit near her but I do see her there at the meetings.
Mentally, I still think about her pretty much every day (normal since its only been three weeks) but I am not emotionally distraught. I am pretty happy with my life at the moment. My heart races a bit when I see her at the weekly meetings but thats about it. That was my first relationship (at 19) so I am a latecomer to the game so to speak. I'm not sure what the standard amount of time is to start dating again, since I see some very cute girls around my campus.
I want to give appropriate time to myself to "heal" but at the same time I don't want to waste valuable time or limit my opportunities. | Its been 3 weeks since my (M/20) first breakup. I feel pretty good about myself emotionally. What is the standard time until people tend to start dating again after their first breakup? |
t3_wkepx | dogs | What breed should I get? | Basically I'm going to be a college student next year. I'm moving to the US and I wanted to know what would be a good breed for me. I'll be living with my family (my mom doesn't really like Dogs, so he has to be real cute) but at the same time I want him to be loyal, playful, and strong. Something for a 17 year old guy. I don't do much exercise but I wouldn't mind a 30 minute walk every day. We might be living in an apartment or a small house, so I'm not 100% sure on a back yard.
What do you guys think will be a good breed? | 17 YO guy, moving to college, want a strong,loyal dog. Will be living in an apartment OR a house. Mom doesn't like dogs, so it has to be something cute |
t3_3rvcxl | relationships | I (26F) feel disrespected by my boyfriend (27M) and u don't know what to do about it. | My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years. We hit a rough spot financially and we moved out of our apartment into my parents. He went out with friends (left at 9pm) last night and I asked him since we don't live on our own to get home early (mind you he has my car,) out of respect to my parents, since I don't feel we should just come stumbling in whenever, drunk.
He told me he would be home before 3. It's almost 4am and he still isn't home. And is ignoring me for that matter. He won't respond to texts or calls. I've asked him when he will be home, and he blows off answering.
I feel disrespected, in an extreme amount. When I bring it up to him, he tells me I'm overreacting and that he needs time do "do his thing or he will go crazy." I understand that. Am I being unreasonable though since we moved into my parents for asking him to be home early, or is he in the wrong? It's going on 7 hours since he's been out. Anyone have any advice on how to address the situation with him? | SO and I love with my parents. He went out. Asked him to be home early. Ignoring me, and still hasn't come home. Am I wrong in this? Any advice? |
t3_1x6l19 | relationship_advice | Me [22/m] worrying about future with my gf [21/f] | I currently go to a university here in Wisconsin. I am a 22 year old male, and in less than a year I will be graduating with a degree in advertising. I am also currently in a relationship and have been for the last 2 years.
Lately things have been pretty good, but for some reason we always get into pointless arguments, almost like she's trying to find reasons to be mad. She is also always looking for reassurance and it's driving me crazy in a way so I recently confronted her. We've broken up two times before which makes me worried and both times have been because she wanted to. I feel like she tends to just run away from problems we are faced in our relationship.
Sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like if we weren't together. When we broke up for the second time I was heart broken again, but instead of it lasting a while, I turned out to be happier than ever and really started enjoying life again. Then she came back into my life about 5 months ago and things have been going pretty well since then because she's proved to me a lot of things and I agreed to work on things with her.
My girlfriend has always had a dream to move to NYC and start a life there, of course her and I will be finishing school at the same time. Basically she expects me to go with her even though i've never been there (we plan on visiting this summer) and she has plenty of family that live there, and she's been there countless times.
My concerns: This is MY life and I would be leaving a lot here in the midwest. Sure, the weather isn't the nicest, but my family lives here and a lot of my friends. My parents also live only 30 minutes away from Milwaukee and around 2 hours away from Chicago. I want to live in a city, working at an ad agency or another corporate business somewhere close to home that way I can still be in touch with my family and friends.
So what do I do? Obviously I'll be taking all advice lightly because ultimately it's my choice. My girlfriend seems pretty set on NYC and shows no signs of truly wanting to compromise at all. | Graduating soon, girlfriend wants to move toNYC - I'd rather stay in a city near the midwest for family and friends (not to mention price). I am torn on what to do and how to analyze this. |
t3_4m3sey | relationships | I [21 F] like this guy [22 M] a lot, but I already know we want totally different things out of life. Should I just cut my losses now and move on? | Throwawy because I'm pretty sure he goes on reddit.
So, I know this guy Mitchell. We're really good friends, probably best friends at this point. We met at a club dedicated to a mutual hobby about a year ago, and have been really close ever since.
When we first met things were strictly platonic, but the last month or so I've been developing real feelings for Mitchell and I think the feelings or mutual. He'll frequently tell me how cute I am, how he misses me when I'm away, he wishes I was there, etc. I've never met someone I connected with so well. He's totally my type and I fantasize about being with him pretty often.
There are catches, though. He doesn't want kids (and if he does, not until he's much much older); I really want kids and definitely before I'm 30. After graduation, he wants to move across the country, I want to move back home. These issues are really big deals for me that I won't compromise on.
So, reddit, is this a lost cause? I like him so much but I don't want to waste my time. If I am wasting my time, how do I get over it? I still want Mitchell in my life, I don't want to cut him out completely. | I like a guy and I think he likes me too but looking ahead I don't think we'd work out as a long-term couple. What do I do? |
t3_16liav | AskReddit | Why are most humans stupid enough to believe there is a lazy way out of everything? | I just saw a [post] near the front page and it reminded me I wanted to make this. Why are so many people under the impression that there is a pill they can take, or a professional they can talk to once, or something they can spend money on and magically have their problems fixed? I mean, it's all really simple, to me at least...
* Don't want to be overweight? Burn more calories than you consume.
* Don't like that you didn't meet your life goal yet? Do something to get there.
* Do you have a problem with someone? Talk to them about it, and try to resolve it.
* Tired of being sad all the time? Try to be happy.
But, no! People would much rather sit on their lazy rears^^^asses and spend the money they almost don't have on a "magic weight loss pill" and complain when it doesn't work, complain about their spot in life, complain about a person, complain about why nobody has made them happy yet. Don't you think if we had an effective weight loss pill that everyone would be using it? Don't you think if there was an easy fix to all our problems then we wouldn't have problems? I dislike the way people have abandoned actually putting forth any effort as to actually fix their problems for a quick fix.
Could it be laziness passed down from the generations growing used to technological advancement?
Could it just be that people really have stopped thinking about things?
Your thoughts are welcome, fellows. | Why won't people nowadays get off their lazy rears^^^asses and put forth thought and effort to solve their problems, rather than quick fixes that don't work? |
t3_2k7437 | tifu | TIFU bY breaking my viola right after I got it fixed | So here's the story: A few weeks ago the bridge on my viola broke, so we had to send it to the shop. Now, I'm in high school orchestra, so I had to play another one.
Fast forward 3 weeks, and my fresh new viola is done and it sounds beautiful. I take it to school, and give the temp one to my friend Pablo(fake name)
But little did I know that I would soon break my viola.
I put it on a chair, and closed it. But I forgot to latch the case.
Then I went to the restroom.
And when I came back, I forgot I did not latch my case.
So, there I was, grabbing the handle of the case, and watching my viola tumble to the ground.
Now, I have to wait a whole nother month for the store to fix my viola scroll. The only thing, is I don't have a replacement this time. | I broke my viola after it being in the shop for 3 weeks, now I have to wait a whole another month |
t3_3q9lxt | relationships | I [23/M] have never been with a girl and am afraid I'll mess everything up with awesome girl [19/F] I met recently | I've never had a girlfriend, I've never even kissed a girl. I'm as clueless as I could possibly be. I was really socially awkward during puberty and didn't have any contact with girls because of that. Now I have female friends and get along with them great, but I feel like I kind of missed learning everything beyond being friends at the age where everyone else gained their experiences.
Now I recently started college (I was working for a few years between school and college). In the first or second week I befriended a girl studying the same courses. We also befriended another guy [25/M] (has GF). We met a few times on the campus to study and do homework, but always the 3 of us.
Recently we started doing more activities without the other guy, but with my friends. At this point I didn't think of what we have as anything more than a nice friendship.
This weekend she invited me over to her place to "drink wine and do homework". We drank some wine, talked, did homework and watched a movie on Netflix. She had to get up early the next morning so I left after the movie was over. While I was leaving she immediately suggested we do this again some time (without the homework) and I agreed.
Now 2 days later my friends are telling me she might want more than just a friendship (I'm **really** bad at reading signals). I really like her and am open to that, but now I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to. I assume I should make some kind of first move at some point? | Never even kissed a girl, met cute girl, after knowing her for 2-3 weeks she invites me over to her place to drink wine and watch horror films on Netflix (probably next weekend). No idea how to proceed. |
t3_1j0pe4 | relationships | Me[18M] with my gf[17F] 3 years running, I'm tired of the relationship but I don't know how to end it. | I've been dating this girl for three years and in these three years have had the time of my life. I took her virginity and we both fell in love. Looking back, I fell harder than I should have because in the beginning I wasn't serious about the relationship.
Now after three years, I am known by her grandparents, parents, and her siblings as (Her name here)'s husband. I never wanted to drag her through this and I feel like complete shit for doing it to her. She loves me way more than I love her and I don't know how to break up with her.
I've tried to end it 3 times and they all resulted in both of us running back to the other crying and begging for forgiveness/another chance. Right now, things are rocky and we haven't spoken for 3 days. She just dropped off (On my front porch at 1 a.m.) what my little brother is calling a "Care package" including some notes I wrote her in my Sophomore year, my favorite candy, two cards she purchased and wrote books in, and my favorite stuffed animal from her house. All of this was along with a giant letter P that she made in art class with pictures of us throughout the years.
Like I said, I know this is going to break her heart, but I've kind've already made a connection with an old friend and I'm just ready to move onto another part of my life being just finished with high school (She has another year).
How should I end this without making her family and friends hate me? Is there a way? Also what should I do about the dog WE purchased and is OURS? | My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years, almost broke up a few times. I'm sick of the relationship. How do I end it? |
t3_1jmcq9 | offmychest | I can't explain why, but I hate my Dad and the "side" of his family... | Now before I start, my parents have been divorced for a loooong time, and also my dad doesn't even live in the country where I live. I also have some medical problems with my right foot, but that's a whole another story.
Anyway, each time my grandmother comes to visit me (she lives in a different city so It's usually maybe 4 times a year) she ALWAYS asks me about my foot, and is there gonna be something done to it like a surgery or something which really makes me uncomfortable, and while people might just say "they care for you" etc. I've even told my grandma that PLEASE don't talk about this topic when we meet, or for example go to my mom to ask if there are any plans in the future, just don't talk about it with me. I'd tell you if there were any news. ._.
About my dad: Well, I know for a fact that he owes my mom a lot of money, why don't you give it back to her, so she can find a doctor or something that can help me? Y'know nothing is free these days! (pretty much) As I've also mentioned before, he lives in a different country so he's always like "Come to my country and we'll get you a doctor etc.!" and once again, it might just be that they care for me, and, they do. But PLEASE leave my problems to myself. Please. :(
This whole thing might just be answered with "Oh don't worry, they just care for you, you know" (and I know they do!) but I hate having to be asked(questioned?) of my problems each time I talk to my dad or my grandma. And even then i remember that when I was little doctors said that It'd be better for me to be about 16 to do a surgery. (I'm a bit younger than that)
P.S. English isn't my native language so sorry for any (minor) mistakes! | I hate my Dad and his family basically just cause when I talk to them they always ask me about my problems and make me uncomfortable. |
t3_4m0d9e | relationships | I (24M) am losing direction on my love life. Please advise me. | -I started dating this girl (24F) on year 2005, then we broke up after 3 years because of long distance.
-On year 2008 I dated this girl(24F) who I really loved and I wanted to marry her but she cheated on me.
-Then I dated the 3rd (25F) one and during that relationship I was dating other multiple girls because I just wasnt feel any love anymore
-later on I got to bachelor degree and I found another girl(24F) who I fell inlove with my whole heart and I broke up with all other girls (now 4) to start persuing her. She told me she in love with someone else.
-I persued her for 3 years despite that fact. I once slept with her and we kissed. She once told me she loves me. But when it really matters. .she always picks the other guy before me. Always.
-now im single, I dont want to go back to to those girls. I am tired of chasing this one , but I really love her from my heart and I cant get over her.
-I feel so bad I cant be with someone I love. I feel Im late, my friends are starting to get married.i feel lost after deciding she cant be with me I feel I have wasted my time, I feel useless and lost.
Please tell me what to do....what to think. Anything please. | I have dated girls I dont love, now I find the one I love she is rejecting me, I feel to go back to old ways, I feel useless, I feel im chasing a wind. Help advise whay to do. |
t3_3rldhb | relationships | Needing advice for my (28f) daughter (9f) and her dog. | Throwaway account because my husband doesn't need to know I'm seeking advice on here because he's a tough macho man and I over worry.
So, we are the in the middle of moving from one state to another. I have two little girls who are currently staying with my mother in law until we get situated up there (moving 2000 miles, didn't want to keep the kiddos out of school for the drive/packing/ all that jazz).
Earlier tonight my oldest (9, almost 10) called me bawling her little eyes out. On the bus ride home, the driver had hit her dog. She's had this dog since she was 1, it was one of the first pups my dog had and I thought it would be great for her to grow up with a furry friend. I'm trying to talk her down a little so she can fully explain what had happened but from how she was crying, I had feared the worse, Rascal had died. I asked to speak to my MIL who told me that Rascal was okay for the most part, he had a broken leg and a pretty bad gash along his abdomen (had to get stitches and minor surgery). So, I spoke to my daughter again now that I had the facts, I tried to calm her down. Rascal was normally an outside dog (they live on a farm, so he keeps everything safe) so he was getting to stay inside next to the fire, he was getting treats left and right, tons and tons of cuddles, Father in law even set up a huge padded area (blankets/pillows, the works). He's on some really good pain meds too. She was still pretty traumatized. How do I handle this, especially from so far away? I mean, she was there when it happened, she heard him scream. She's already a pretty emotional child, she had a heart of gold and cries for everyone in pain, laughs with everyone. Am I overreacting? I know I have a major tendency to do this, especially when it comes to my kiddos. | Daughter was on school bus that hit her dog, she can't stop crying. Dog survived, but worried it traumatized her a little with how she's reacting.Need advice on how to handle situation from 2k miles away. |
t3_3ps926 | relationships | Me [29F] with my GF [26F] of 8 months, I refused to help a disabled man, now she is furious with me. | My girlfriend and I were at the laundromat this morning, doing laundry together (of course). When we came in, there was a man in one of those scooter wheelchairs, struggling to put his laundry into a washer. He began loudly telling another woman who was next to him about how his home health aides aren't allowed to help with his laundry anymore because he has bedbugs. I immediately moved my stuff to the other end of the laundromat just in case and made sure to put my clothes in driers farther away from him with high heat. I am paranoid about getting them because I have heard what a nightmare they are to get rid of. My girlfriend gave me a funny look when I was doing this like she thought I was overreacting.
When the time came to get his laundry out of the washer, he looked around and asked me for help moving his wet clothes from the washer to the drier. Normally I would have agreed, but because I knew he had bedbugs, I said, "I'm sorry, but I heard you talking and I know you have bedbugs. I just can't risk accidently bringing some home. I'm afraid I can't help." I said it in a polite tone of voice. He ended up being able to do it himself, albeit with obvious difficulty.
When we got home my girlfriend was furious. She said it was so rude of me to refuse and I was heartless. She said there was no chance I could have gotten bedbugs by helping him, and strongly implied that I was using them as an excuse to avoid helping someone poor and dirty. Yes, he was obviously dirty (and smelly if I am honest) but that truly wasn't why I refused to help, but she doesn't believe me at all.
Was I wrong to refuse? Should I apologize to her and in the future be more accomodating? | Wouldn't help a man in a wheelchair with his laundry because of bedbugs, girlfriend thinks I am heartless and a snob. |
t3_dejj1 | Cooking | I need a recipe, /r/cooking. Care to give some advice in picking one? | So my girlfriend likes cooking, and likes when people cook for her. She's hinted a couple times that she'd love it if I cooked something for her, so I'd like to give it a shot. She knows that when I make myself food it's just cereal and BLTs so she's not expecting a masterpiece, I just want to show that I'm willing to put the effort in.
The trouble is my work schedule; 90% of the time I see her, it's when she picks me up from the end of my shift at about 8:30pm, so I need a recipe that I can prepare in the morning before work someday (I have 4 or 5 hours in the mornings), and have ready or within 5 minutes of being ready when we come back to my house after work.
I do happen to have a smallish crock pot around for the next few days and my kitchen is reasonably stocked. I tend not to cook for myself because for I dislike spending more time preparing a meal than I do eating it, plus I work at a restaurant and I spend 9 hours a day baking food, but I'm certainly capable of following a recipe (I have to for work, after all). | I need an idea for a dinner for two that I can prepare in the morning and have ready when we return home in the evening. |
t3_1ljff7 | dating_advice | I [21m] am terrible with women and can't get over it | I go to a great university with high grades, I'm very popular, I'm really good at my job as student body president, and generally have been very accomplished. But I don't feel happy or fulfilled since I just can't find any intimacy with anyone.
I literally am so awkward with any girl I find attractive, but in any other situation I'm remarkably confident. And for some reason, no matter how fit I am or how I dress or anything I can't seem to attract women. There are some younger girls at my school who go nuts over me just because I'm the president - but its not out of knowing me or anything.
It's really killing me inside how lonely I am. Last night I finally started connecting to a girl I was into, but when I went to kiss her, she said no.
I don't know why I can't find someone who likes me as much as I like them who I can be intimate with, it's really all I want right now. I consume myself in my work just to distract myself some days from the emptiness I feel daily.
I've had a girlfriend before and I've had some casual hook ups, just making out - I can't ever be confident enough to escalate things. But no matter how much "experience" I get I always feel like I'm still a shy kid who can't do anything. | I'm an otherwise privileged and confident person who can't seem to date or attract women casually or in a more serious sense. |
t3_38vd2s | relationships | My (25m) fiancé thinks our friends (28m and 27f) are out to get him. | I've been with my fiancé for two years now. We just recently went to dinner with our friends whom we are both really close with. One of our friends read a sign that said 'no smoking outside' to which my fiancé replied that it was bullshit. He is a smoker, the other two and I are not. Instantly everyone gave him a look and questioned why he would say that. He had difficulty explaining what it was he meant (I understood once we got home and discussed it together that he meant the government shouldn't be allowed to just make a decision that there is no smoking in bars or directly outside their establishment. He believes that they should be able to choose whether or not they allow smoking in or around and leave it up to the patrons whether or not they want to visit said establishment)
It was unclear what he was trying to explain to the three of us, and it is now two days later and he still isn't letting it go. He's saying that we all ganged up on him and that nobody respects him or what he has to say.
He has a habit of making a statement and expecting you to realize that he means more than he clearly just stated.
Anyway, my question is how do I get him to realize that he is very argumentative and takes the opposition, not that we are all out to get him? | fiancé is quick to argue and thinks we are all against him, how do I get him to realize we are not on a witch hunt? |
t3_wxnnv | AskReddit | Should I stay or should I go? | Alright. So when I was twelve, my parents divorced. Mind you we were the picture perfect happy family. Yet, my father craved sex, and my mother, didn't so much. Divorce followed. My sister and myself switch between my fathers house and my mothers house every other week. Anyway, my mother found Russ, a logger, decent income, and a nice house. Good with electronics. My father, found Jen. Now before I get started on Jen, let me explain how I've lived my life previously. I was only one of two children, so my sister and I pretty much got everything we wanted. I would sit in my room after school and play games, she would watch tv/surf theinternet. We would go out to dinner a lot, and never really fought. Now, about Jen. My father never introduced my sister and I to Jen. We met her when he decided to take us to the drag races one day (he knew her for a while, mind you) and all of the sudden, "Woah, hello stranger!". She came home that night. They fell in love and she moved in. And yet again, he did not tell us she was moving in. Mind you, she has FIVE kids, which three were coming with her to live with us. Kayla, who is fifteen, Dylan, who is thirteen, and Davin, who is now seven. Her children are brats. Anyway, Jen, is psychotic. She yells, AT EVERYTHING. EVERYONE. ALL THE TIME. Mind you, I am a passive type of person, well, Jen is agressive. To sum things up, my house is essentially communist now. Everyone is treated the same age, has to go to bed at the same time (9:30 PM), MTV/VH1 is not allowed, curfew is 8:00 PM, and if you want something that requires money, forget about it unless everyone can also get it. | my life has changed and it can go back to normal. Should I live with my mother or stay miserable with my father? |
t3_17wfvh | tifu | TIFU by accidentally sending a link of nude photos to a friend | I did some nude photography/modeling a few years back, and while I love the pieces I did and do not regret them in the slightest, I don't particularly want seeing my friends, especially male friends, seeing me nude, mostly because I have *body issues* like every other woman it seems.
I was browsing reddit, and noticed a familiar photo. It was an old photo of me that someone had posted to GoneWildPlus, with another photo in the comments. I was surprised to see it and was having some feels about it. I was in chat with several people at once, bouncing between several different conversations, one of them being a good friend who I sent the link to the guys profile (but not the post itself), because she had something similar happen to her. However, when I was sending the link, I popped not into her box, but a box right next to her. A box with my male friend.
I immediately noticed my mistake, and though it wasn't a link to the direct post, I know that photo was only one click away, and it was the newest post. I profusely apologized and told him to please not open it. He conceded, and told me he even cleared the chat log so he wouldn't be tempted to open it. He also told me to thank my lucky stars that I must be special because he wouldn't ordinarily do that. And before you naysayers come in and say he did look at him, trust me, if he had he would have made some sort of "nice tits" joke. | almost sent a link containing a link of old nude photos to my friend, but he was a good buddy and didn't look. |
t3_104hc1 | AskReddit | girlfriend was rushed to hospital earlier today, no health insurance, admitted overnight - advice? | Hey Reddit,
GF fainted earlier today while I was at work, roommate called 911. Ambulance came, picked her up, turns out it was dehydration+sinus infection+prescription drying her up. She has stabilized but they've admitted her overnight for observation because her BP didn't rise to normal levels quick enough.
She does not have health insurance and is currently unemployed (working on starting an etsy/art business) and we plan on moving out of state sometime soon so she hasn't gone and looked for anything. Currently, we share funds via a checking account with both of our names on it, though... all of the income is mine.
They've given her test after test after test and I'm concerned based on the "financial aid" screening questions they provided her, that.... we're going to be screwed. What the hell can I/should I do? | gf had to dial 911. mad tests and shit admitted overnight. **no health insurance**. do i need to do something with our / my money, and fast? |
t3_ts346 | AskReddit | COMPUTER GEEKS OF REDDIT, HELP! (Scraping HP rebuilt computer for another build) | So currently i have a HP manufacturer made computer.
HP Slimline S5000 Series
Model # s5710f.
This computer cannot run Diablo 3. and never will be able too. (because of the video-card)
I plan on building a new computer off newegg, and im trying to spend minimum.
so i need to know, is here anything besides the RAM in a HP manufacturer built computer that i can use for the computer i build?
Everything in this computer is good for D3, except my Video card. and to spend $400 just because i needed a new VC would be silly.
Ask me anything about the pc. if requested, ill take pictures of the internal for help.
I was told i might be able to just buy a new mother bored, and swap out everything.
but i have no idea, and don't want to take acting until i'm 100% sure. | What parts can i take out of a HP Slimline- Model # s5710f to use twords a custom build? |
t3_31ksfd | relationships | My [18/F] potential FWB [18/M] is having a lot of issues and says he needs to fix his life before he procedes with our relationship. What can I do? | I started talking to this guy about three weeks ago. We agreed to be friends with benefits, maybe a relationship later. (We haven't gotten around to doing anything yet.) I'm a virgin, and he was going to basically teach me everything I want to know. We have both really been excited about it and anticipating the time we actually get around to doing stuff, which was going to be this week.
I knew that he's been having a lot of family issues and such and has always struggled with depression. All of a sudden, today, he told me that he needs to cut of our plans. He needs to focus on fixing his life and he's trying to turn it all around. At first I was okay with this. I've been having some second thoughts about sex, so I thought maybe this was a sign. He said he wants to be friends. He's not much for opening up about his emotions, but I told him that I'm always here for him if he needs anyone to talk to. I really do care about him a lot, and it breaks my heart to see him going through whatever it is.
The more I think about it, though, I realize that it's not sex that I really want anyway. I just want someone to care about me. I want someone to hug. I do want a relationship with him, not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but I want something. I wish I could just hold him in my arms and make everything better.
So right now, I'm at a loss for what to do. I want to be an emotional support for him, but I don't want to poke and prod since he's not super open about all of that. And I don't know what to do about wanting some type of relationship with him. I want him to be able to focus on fixing his issues, but maybe I'm being selfish worrying about myself. He is a self-proclaimed sex addict, so I don't want to be too much of a "distraction" I suppose. At this point, I really don't know what to do. | Potential FWB/bf backed out because he needs to fix his life. I want to be an emotional support, but I also want a relationship. |
t3_tyr1o | relationships | How do I get my sister to stop making me a 3rd wheel? | I'm 22f and I've never had a very good relationship with my older sister (26) but it's been improving over the past few months or so. However, she continually does this thing where we'll be spending time together and she'll either invite her friends over or they'll invite themselves over, and I end up feeling like the 3rd wheel because her attention gets shifted to them.
When I was a kid I liked being with her and her friends because I thought it was cool to hang out with older teenagers, but now I don't like it so much because I'm too different from them. I brought up the fact that I would rather spend time with her alone than with groups of her friends and it turned into a huge fight between us. She made me seem like a big anti-social bitch and interpreted it as me hating her friends. So now I'm afraid to bring it up even though it majorly bothers me.
Sometimes I don't mind hanging out with her and her friends when she lets me know ahead of time, but I still feel excluded. She's in a sorority so it's always her sorority sisters and they talk about sorority things (parties, personal drama, group politics) and I never feel like I can even be a part of the conversation. When it's with her guy friends they just talk about binge drinking and how drunk they got, and so on. Again, I just sit there like a SAP and text the whole time until I find an opportunity to leave.
Today we were going to watch a movie together and one of her friends shows up to bring her food, but he ended up staying. They were just talking so I just stopped the movie. Then her friend wanted to go out and do something even though we were already obviously doing something. They invited me along but I declined because if I went then I'd just feel like a SAP the entire time. | my sister always invites someone else along during our bonding time and I don't know how to get her to stop without making her angry. |
t3_3tgpyw | tifu | TIFU by playing Hide and Seek | Obligatory: This was a couple years ago, I was around 12 years old, not sure exactly.
So it was sunday and me, my parents and my siblings went to visit my grandparents (dad's side).
When we got there, we were greeted by them, aswell as my dad's sister and her family. The kids obviously leave the house and go out to play around.
My grandparents have a "big" farm next to their house, so we decide to play Hide and Seek. A couple rounds go by, nothing unusual happening, then suddenly I have the brilliant idea of running through the corn field and hide in the other side, no way I would lose. That's where the FU happens.
I'm running without looking at the floor and suddenly my foot gets stuck. I fell on a goddamn animal trap. (something like this
I tried to release myself from the clutches of the devil for what felt like an hour, until finally the other kids start to get worried and call our parents, who just found me sitting on the floor with a trap on my foot.
We go back home, everyone finds out I'm dumb enough to fall on an animal trap. Mom says I'm lucky it wasn't at her parents house, because apparently they had similar traps but a lot stronger, and they would probably break my foot. What a day to be alive! | Played hide and seek in a farm, got foot stuck on an animal trap, couldn't take it out. Parents found me, everyone knows I'm dumb enough to fall on a trap and my foot hurts. |
t3_3ag61e | relationships | Me 24F with my 23M of 5 years, can't get peace | My bf does not like my dad for multiple reasons which are true (he lies, screams, controls us) However, he also believes my dad is abusive towards me and a bad influence, both of which are not true. I can handle him not liking my dad, but the main problem now is that he cannot talk about anything other than his anger toward my dad. He constantly tries to get me to distance myself from my dad. It has gotten to the point where I cannot communicate anything to him because regardless of what I tell him, he brings it back to my dad, and every time I complain about a problem in our relationship, he finds a way to blame my dad for it or sidewind the conversation to go back to his anger for my dad. I now find it difficult to be in a room with him and dread spending time with him because of how argumentative he has become. What should I do?
Side point: My dad does not like my bf either and often I will be ok with something he did until i speak with my dad and realize that my bf is actually doing many hurtful things. I then appreciate my dad bringing those things up, but my bf hates my dad for allowing me to realize his flaws. | BF wont let issues with my dad go and I now can't find peace with him or communicate with him about anything else. Help! |
t3_3monm3 | dogs | [Help][Vent] SO and I having trouble with dog who pees whenever he feels like it... | Good morning and thanks in advance for any help that you can offer...this has me so frustrated and I'm on the verge of asking my SO to seriously consider whether he wants this dog still.
He (it's his, he brought it into the relationship) has a dog that will NOT get on a schedule to go outside. When he moved in with me (2nd floor condo) I assumed he'd (the SO) treat the place like he did his roommates place - with respect. But the dog pretty much does whatever he wants and the SO allows him to.
Okay, so it's cute when he's cuddling. But now the dog pretty much just pees whenever he feels like it unless he is with one of us in the bedroom or the office. The living room floor is basically free territory for free peeing.
Yes, we take him outside on a regular basis. Once before I head out to work, once when we get home in the afternoon and as many times as he whines in the evening. The dog can go outside if he wants to, he just needs to indicate that he needs to.
Sometimes he whines, sometimes he just pees. He gets all ashamed when he does it and he hides but he doesn't seem to care so much really because he doesn't indicate that he needs to go outside, he just pees.
But again, when he is with one of us in the office or the bedroom he's fine and doesn't pee.
I'm at my wit's end here. I'm sick of cleaning up pee messes and my SO **for some ridiculous reason** doesn't seem to care too much and it's driving me up the wall. I realize that there are /r/relationship issues here but I need to know what to do about this dog before I lose my sanity. Then I can deal with the SO. | Dog sometimes indicates that he needs to go out and sometimes doesn't. Regardless, if he has to pee he pees right away unless he's locked up on the bedroom or office. What do?? |
t3_4eckki | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [22 F] of one year, a year has passed and I am not sure how I feel. | Hey guys, My girlfriend was my bestfriend originally we have been dating for over a year now. I never thought of her as more than a friend, but when she asked me out I decided to give it a shot. I was never really sexually attracted to her originally, and even now I don't think shes the prettiest girl around, but I love her for her personality and because shes crazy about me(she cares about me more than I deserve). And sometimes when she does try, she can look beautiful(problem is she rarely tries).
I really do love her, but that doubt is still in my head, that maybe she isn't the one for me. not just because of her looks(does this make me a shallow person?) but also because we hold different values in a lot of places and some of her quirks are extremely vexing.
I had overcome these doubts for the most part, but a few weeks ago, we had a conversation about kids, and shes not interested at all, but said that she maybe open to the idea in her early 40s or late 30s. I on the other hand always wanted kids.
Will she ever change her mind? and are these problems going to plague us for the rest of the relationship? especially with her being older than me too? does this relationship have a future with all these doubts, even though she cares more about me than any other person I have ever met? We are extremely compatible in every other aspect, we are honest kind, not jealous and completely understanding. | Not sure how I feel about my GF after she said she isn't completely open to having kids. And unsure in how to proceed. |
t3_4pahhr | relationships | 35M, engaged 2 months to 26F, feeling trapped, no time to put off decision | I'm engaged to a woman I love and respect, but feeling pangs of anxiety and loss of sleep, and a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I have known my fiancee for 1 year but we have only been exclusively together for 7 months. I felt some pressure (mostly from myself, a little from her) to propose marriage because I will be leaving the country permanently in 3 months. We both knew that if it was going to happen, it would need to happen on a short timeline. Doing long distance is not realistic in this situation as we will be very far away, finances and work schedules would make it impossible.
I really do love my fiancee- she has never done anything inappropriate to deserve a broken engagement, she has all the things I'm looking for in a woman, but mostly I feel a sense of anxiety when I think about getting married. I feel like I have about a month to make up my mind about a decision that will last a lifetime. I'm stuck in a situation where I face either regrets about breaking it off or regrets about getting married... any ideas for how to proceed? I should note that no date has been set for a wedding, and no wedding preparations have been made- the idea is I would fly back for a wedding a few months after my departure. | Got engaged when I didn't feel quite ready to a woman I love, and feeling anxiety about marriage. Leaving the country and must make a decision to either break it off or get married. How to proceed? |
t3_1zreow | relationships | My GF [33 F] and I [29 M] keep getting into fights whenever I'm in a bad mood. | My GF [33 F] and I [29 M] keep getting into fights whenever I'm in a bad mood. A bit of context: we've been dating for almost a year and most everything has been great. I've never dated someone that I've wanted to spend as much time with as her and we connect on a lot of different levels.
There's just one thing that we keep fighting about and it's starting to effect our overall relationship. I feel like I'm a pretty thoughtful and considerate guy. I think she would agree that whenever she's going through something in her life, I'm always there for her. I cook her dinner when she's had too much to do at work. I try to plan weekend getaways when she's had a stressful period in her life. Etc.
The problem is that when it's the opposite, I often feel like I'm "on my own" so to speak. And I get hurt that she's not there for me more. When I bring this up, it starts a fight and I feel bad because it feels like I'm guilt tripping her. I don't want to make it seem like she owes me anything for the things I do for her - I do them because I love her. It's more that I feel like we have a team and I'm carrying more of the burden. Basically, I need some more help from time to time.
Am I being an asshole here or maybe too self-pitying? Is there something I can do to help this situation?
Please help, relationship guru's of reddit! I love this girl and I want us to work. | My GF [33 F] and I [29 M] keep getting into fights whenever I'm in a bad mood because I feel like she doesn't support me enough. What can I do to help this situation? |
t3_1m3vio | relationships | I [F23] can't seem to leave him [M26] I love my High School sweetheart! | We've been together almost a year and I feel like its just easier to stay than to leave. We live together and have for over 6months now.
He is slightly emotionally abusive and pressures me into sexual favors and has for a long time. He asks for things, and then gets really upset if I say I don't want to. Maybe I'm over reacting and this is normal. He's said hurtful things like "if I can't fuck you more, I'm going to cheat on you".. I just always give in. It doesn't seem to bother him that I cry while he sleeps with me. I feel dirty. He does have a caring side though, that always seems to fool me.
I want to leave, but we've talked about a future together, and it seems easier to stay. I just give in too easily. He starts being nice for a few hours and then back to "normal" and it never fails to fool me into staying. How do I leave? I still love him, I think.. But I love my high school sweetheart too! And I know he loves me back.. Anytime we are together things are almost magical. Whether we haven't seen each other in 2yrs and we're grabbing coffee, or we just saw each other the day before. He was my first, and I was his. And neither of us can let go.
There are pets involved as well. He bought two pets for US and will give them away unless I pay him for them! I don't have 300$ to give him. I literally have nothing as I am not "allowed" to have a job or transportation. I honestly think I stayed this last fight for the pets..
I am tired of waking up crying, being bullied into sex and feeling alone. How do I leave him with as little damage as possible? I bawl my eyes out every time I think about leaving or attempt to! I'm not even sure why.. And what about my pets? How do I go about that? Abandon them? I love them.. | I want to leave my boyfriend, but he wants me to pay him for our pets that I love. I'm an emotional wreck, and just need help! |
t3_4d5lgl | relationship_advice | I [21/f] can't bring myself to breakup with my boyfriend [20/m] | First time poster, hope this makes sense. I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and I'm starting to feel trapped/ like the relationship is coming to its natural end. We got together straight out of school and since then it feels like I have changed and matured, but he is the same. He still has a bunk bed in his room, doesn't deal with paying bills and is uncomfortable going out to bars or staying up late. He is afraid to rock the boat or change anything at his casual job, whereas I have worked four jobs already this year.
The sex is stale, which is definitely partly my fault. I have a hard time getting turned on by him and have to really psyche myself up for us to have sex, so trying new things is more than I can handle right now. Worse, I'm not sure if I WANT to get our sex life back on track...
I keep thinking we should break up, but he doesn't seem to be on the same page at all. In his head everything is fine and he still wants me as much as ever, meanwhile I don't miss him at all when we aren't together. So should I break his heart? He is a genuinely lovely person, has never hurt me and is incredibly reliable. I think I'm just too young and need to branch out, but I'm worried I'm throwing away something very valuable. Advice much appreciated! | My boyfriend of 2.5 years doesn't do anything wrong, but I'm just not feeling it anymore. How can I break his heart? |
t3_2wtz7e | relationships | My friend [24 F] gave me [24 F] a piece of furniture and now wants it back two years later. | Well the title basically says it all. Two years ago, my friend (of about 3 years now) was moving from our college town to the city we are currently in. She and her boyfriend offered me their Love Sac bean bag for free. I took it because I had just moved into a new place as well, and needed furniture. They said it wouldn't fit in their new place and they were going to throw it out if no one wanted it.
A few months later, I was looking online for a different cover for it. and discovered that these bean bag chairs retail for $800+. I had no idea they made bean bags that expensive...ridiculous. I was surprised they gave it to me, but figured hey, they were going to throw it in the trash so they obviously didn't care.
Fast forward to now. I got a text earlier asking if I would be willing to "give it back" if she paid me $50. I said that my fiancé and I were not interested in selling it. We literally just bought a house and again are in need of more furniture. After I said no, I figured the conversation was over. I thought it was strange that she even asked. A bit later, I got a super long novel of a text message, basically saying that she didn't realize how expensive they were, and never actually wanted to get rid of it, and how she wishes she hadn't, it was a gift from her parents, etc. She asked again if were willing to sell it for $50, to which I said no. Her response was "okay then, glad you got such a good deal."
Am I wrong here to not be willing to give it back to her (and to be super irritated with this)? I don't think I would ever ask for something back that I gave to someone. Am I supposed to return it since she didn't know the price point when she gave it away? I am starting to feel guilty. How do I handle this moving forward? There have been several other similar bumps in the road with our friendship lately and i'm confused. | friend gave me an expensive beanbag free and wants it back two years later because she didn't realize it was expensive. |
t3_2f0vaj | relationships | Am I (21m) wrong for cancelling my girlfriend's (18f) dinner date? | My girlfriend spend 2 weeks in another country for her birthday. We had planned to have dinner together when she got back for her birthday. She got back, I had flowers delivered to her apartment, and was planning to give her the necklace (this kills the budget) over dinner (the dead budget dies some more).
However, I found out yesterday my family is having a BBQ at my house. So I decided it wouldn't make sense to leave a bbq at my own house to go buy dinner, and suggested that we go to the bbq instead.
Now my girlfriend never tells me straight up when shes upset and she'd go along with the bbq even if she was upset. But I want her to be happy. My family is also telling me I should take her out instead, but now my girlfriend is adamant on not going to dinner.
What should I do? | cancelled birthday dinner with my gf because family having bbq at my house, am I wrong for cancelling? |
t3_2u4ski | jobs | Should I take a job with an organization I find fundamentally unethical? | I work in higher education administration and recently moved to a new city. I've been applying to jobs for about the last three months. I had three great multi-round interviews with different education-focused nonprofits right away, but didn't get those jobs. It's been about two months since I've had any interest, but so far this week (I suppose because the semester just started up) I've had four places call me for interviews. I am ecstatic about this, of course.
One of them is with a for-profit university, though. I would be doing a lot of the same things I was doing in my last job--I wouldn't be doing admissions, so not doing hard sales for the school--but I really don't feel like the university is serving the best needs of the student. I also know they have high turnover and worry about the workplace environment. It would pay what I'm looking for, though, and I do really need a job.
Personally, I feel fundamentally opposed to for-profit schools. In reality, though, I need a job, and this would be a professional position in my field with a livable salary. Part of me knows I'd be embarrassed or even ashamed to be working there, but part of me also thinks I need to get over myself, because I have bills to pay. I've gone through two rounds with them so far, while I'm just starting on first-round interviews with the other opportunities. If the for-profit offers me a job, I think I'll accept, but what if none of the other places offer me a position after that? | Should I take a job at for-profit university if offered, even though I think they're kind of evil? Also, would working at a for-profit school kill my chances of working in nonprofit higher ed in the future? |
t3_lwhpi | relationships | Girls and drugs and girls and drugs. Am I in the wrong? | My girlfriend (18) of two years has recently, in the past two months or so, acquired a very nasty amphetamine habit. Not meth, speed. We have been trying the long-distance thing, because I (also 18) live in New York and she goes to school in Montreal (we are both undergrads) and it hasn't been working out as well as I had hoped :/
As soon as she first mentioned that she was doing these drugs I told her I was against it. She knows very clearly where I stand and it has been the source of many of our arguments because she believes she "needs it to function" and I don't think she needs that crap at all.
Anyways, the reason I am coming to /r/relationships is because of a situation that developed yesterday:
My girlfriend's older sister (21) has tattled to her parents about her vices, specifically her drug use. My girlfriend reacted like any normal person who has been betrayed by a family member reacts and now despises her sister. She thinks her sister is a conniving bitch who is out to ruin her life. My girlfriend told me this over the phone and she was extremely upset. After about an hour comforting her and doing my best just to be there for her I sent her sister a text saying "you are much braver than I am" because frankly I just don't have the balls to do something like that but I know that what she (the sister) did was out of love and not spite.
Today in my facebook inbox is a great message from my girlfriend that reads: "Don't talk to my sister". (Yes, turns out she *was* a conniving bitch) Now she is refusing to speak to me. | My girlfriend does speed. I agreed with her older sister who told her to stop. Now my girlfriend is not speaking to me. |
t3_37c6ko | relationship_advice | I (24/m) broke up with my no ex-girlfriend (22/f) 3 months ago and I need to find a way to regain her trust | So 3 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend and lost my best friend (her) in the process. It was the culmination of a strange, depressed, quarter life crisis part of my life. She was my best friend and we were/are so in sync on everything. But I had a phase and I didn't realize what i wanted and I ended up breaking up with her and completely crushed her heart. She doesn't open up to people ever and she opened up to me and I ended up breaking her heart into a million pieces. I felt and still feel awful and want nothing more than to make it right.
I approached her after not talking to her for 3 months and it wasn't awkward at all but she explained to me that she does not trust me at all and she doesn't know if she ever will again. I have to believe there are some feelings there otherwise she wouldn't have agreed to meet me, but I need to regain her trust and I don't know how to do that exactly. I don't want to force my way into her life, but I want her to let me back in organically. Other than breaking up with her I always treated her the right way. I never lied, I wasn't abusive, mean, or any of that. I just went through a weird period where I didn't think I was in love with her the way I should have been and because of that I felt like I needed to break up with her. I thought I was doing the right thing, and maybe I did. The fact remains that I love her and miss our friendship immensely and want a second chance. She's my partner in crime and I feel so empty without her. | Broke up with my girlfriend. Broke her heart. She doesn't trust me right now, and she isn't sure if she ever will. I miss her and I need to gain her trust again. |
t3_2ndgvv | relationships | Friend [19 F] wants me [24 M] to stay with her over a weekend at her parents while they are away, is insistent | A friend of mine who is also my riding instructor has asked to to stay with her while her parents are away. We are good friends and have been spending a lot of time together.
I'm skeptical though because there has been a vibe I amight not sure I want over the last few months. She has started changing her Facebook and BBM profile pics to me and inviting herself to my parents house and insisting we spend time alone together.
She says she just wants me to stay because she would prefer not to be alone but there is no safety issue. It's a walled and secure equestrian estate and it's her parents house!
Not sure what to do. | 19 f girl wants me 24 m to stay with her at her parents house while they are away. Don't know what to do. |
t3_3t9ajd | relationship_advice | (25/F) found secret snapchat of bf (26/M) talking to another guy about his....ya know. What now? HELP! | Listen I'm already an idiot because before this we've had issues with Snapchat, so let's move on from the..."He's not worth it." to the...do I address this and risk embarrassing him? Or do I just break it off without much of a reason.
Back story: He's done this before with a GIRL he worked with. Obviously I haven't gotten over that although it had happened nearly a year ago....so sometimes I download Snapchat and plug in all of his email addresses because, well that's really specific. This time as I threw out some nets, I caught something. To confirm it is him I signed into said email and saw he just joined Snap.
Now I was filled with rage, I KNEW I would find her username and I would immediately break all of his action figures and storm off into the night..never to be seen or heard from again.
But...he's talking to guys. And I see that he's sent a few snaps to other guys, but there's one in particular he's speaking with. He's also posing as a chick. He created another snap account under this psuedoname but he changed his password. | My bf is posing as a chick on snap. Should I calmly sit him down and talk to him, risking embarrassing him? I would NEVER shame him publicly for this. Or just leave? |
t3_1wh8oj | tifu | TIFU twofer from years ago | This TIFU comes from 2001 I think. I got a call from a staffing agency about a potential placement, so I rushed over on my bike. I had to pee real bad when I got there so I figured I'd be in and out real quick including the peeing, so I didn't lock up my bike. I went in and asked if I could use their bathroom real quick, they said OK so I went in and peed, then went back out and told them why I was there (the placement).
The first thing they told me was that the company required a drug test for all employees, including temps. No problems there... except they want a urinalysis. I asked if I could run back out and lock up my bike. The were all "nope, can't leave the building once you've been informed of the need for a drug test or it counts as a refusal/failure." So there I am, sitting in their office for over an hour, chugging water to try and work up another piss. Finally I'm able to pee in a cup and get going.
I walk outside, and no surprise, my bike is gone. So I walk home. | left my bike unlocked outside a staffing agency to pee, ended up having to wait inside until I could pee again, and walk home. |
t3_3sqgsx | relationships | Me [19 F] with my girlfriend [28 F] of several months, my parents disapprove of her | I am currently in a serious relationship with a former teacher of mine. We've only been dating for a few months, but our connection started and grew in high school, where I was a student and she was one of my teachers. We never did anything, or even saw each other out of class. We just connected really well in class. She didn't even come out to me until AFTER she quit teaching, and I was no longer a student at the school.
We've talked on and off for three years, since she was my teacher. I am now a sophomore in college and she is a graduate student at a college an hour away. We've recently reconnected and expressed romantic feelings towards each other. Things could not be going better. Our connection and relationship is incredible. She isn't taking away from my studies, or social life. She is on top of her schoolwork and we couldn't be happier. I have a good feeling about her. I see a future with her. I wish I could see her more often when I come home but here's where the problem lies.
My parents do not like her. They absolutely detest her. They think she's young, immature, and incapable of taking care of herself. They don't take her seriously - despite the fact that she is currently running her own business from her home, thriving in her counseling program, managing her mental health by finally being treated for anxiety, and on top of that, is fully present for her two year old daughter.
She got married very young, to a man with BPD. They got divorced and she ended up with a kid. My parents see her having an incredible amount of personal and emotional baggage. They are extremely concerned that by her being in a relationship with me, a former student, that this will pose as a threat for her future in counseling.
She never crossed boundaries as a teacher, so I don't see why three years later, how this would affect her or me but I'm curious to hear what you guys have to say.
Should I try talking to my parents again, or should I let them stay convinced that she and I are just close friends? Would it be right to move on, or should I keep this going with her? | My parents don't approve of my girlfriend, with whom I am very serious with. It makes me feel ill, and I don't know if I should move forward with her, or consider my parents and move on. |
t3_3u5pnp | relationships | Me [16 M] with my "friend" [16 F] in an awkward and complicated relationship | So I kinda liked this girl for some time now.. Recently she just started to talk to me a lot and we even called each other a couple of times. She always asked me for help in stuff like chem and math even though I'm not that much better than her at those subjects.
Last time we called, she kept on asking me who I liked for almost 3 hours and when I finally told her that I liked her, she just laughed and was half serious half sarcastic and telling me that we should just be friends and that I should try to date someone else. Even after I told her we still talked for quite a bit. The day after she told her friends that she needed to study bio and didn't come to school.
I talked with her best friend and she said that I should just try to be friends with the girl I liked and that I shouldn't "force her to date me". It just seemed like she was making a really big deal outta it even though a quick rejection could have sufficed.
After, I just told her that I was sorry for pressuring her too hard and we both agreed that we could still be good friends. Our school is very small (only 80 ppl in the grade) and nothing really happens at all.
Should I have done anything differently? Am I misunderstanding her intentions? | A girl started talking to me a lot but when I asked her out, she just insisted that we should just be friends. |
t3_4k1yju | relationships | Me [20 M] with my crush [21 F] 1month, who is also one of the best friends of my older brother. | Hi, so I'm a 20 year old guy who has a crush on one of the best friends of my older brother.
I've known her for quite a while and recently have a crush on her. This year we're both leaders of the same group in our youth organisation so i see her every weekend atleast twice. Next weekend will probably be the last time i see her for about a month because we both have finals coming up soon. I'd like to text her during the time i cant see her, usually whenever I send her one she gives me a good response but when I send and anwser to that one she doesn't really bother to send any back. This might be because of the finals coming up and she has to study during the day. (I never really texted her alot before i had a crush on her so i don't know her texting behaviours). When I talk to her in person though we can usually talk a while, she laughs at my jokes, etc. and last week she waited for me before going back home.
She hasn't dated anyone for a while and openly says that she's looking for a boyfriend. So i feel like this is the perfect chance to ask her out when our finals are over, the thing is that i don't really know how to approach the situation since she is the best friend of my brother and things might get awkward if she says no.
Should i ask my brother what he thinks about it or just ask her? how should i do it? What do you guys think about the situation? | Have a crush on one of the best friends of my brother, want to ask her on a date when finals are over. What do i do? Any advice? |
t3_nbp7u | AskReddit | What is reddit's silliest finals distraction. | I was suppose to be reading Cosa Nostra for my Mafia class, when I suddenly had a great idea to take a bath and read at the same time. So I get the water hot, and then slipped into the warm hot water and started to read. Slowly the warm water started to relax me, and I noticed my book was starting to get a little wet, so I put it down and decided to take a break from reading. When I got out of the tub to put the book on the counter, I noticed my soggy balls dripping, this is where I get the dumb idea to spend the next 2 hours manscaping my entire lower half of my body. | Was suppose to read a book, decided to take a bath and read. Ended up manscaping for two hours. |
t3_163vad | legaladvice | My month-to-month tenant moved out without telling me and her friends moved in. Need advice. Details inside... | About 1.5 years ago I signed 1-year lease with a woman("Betty") on a condo I own. After the year was up, it automatically went to a month-to-month. Betty direct-deposited rent into my bank account. No issues, so I have not spoken to her in months.
A couple of weeks ago, I called to check in with her -- no urgent reason, but just wanted to make sure everything was in good repair. And see if she was planning to stay. Phone number didn't work. I sent a letter. It was returned. Thought it might be a mistake, so I stopped by. Nobody was there. I slipped it under her door.
I also sent an email to one of the neighbors to check in. Neighbor responds a couple of weeks later with a long email saying Betty's friends moved in a couple of months ago and Betty moved out. From my perspective, I have been getting paid rent by the new people (yay) but have no idea who they are and the neighbor says they yell, scream, slam doors, smoke pot, sell crack and have a dog that barks a lot. I have learned all of this in the past week and I want to figure out my options.
Are these new people my tenants in a legal sense? I have been taking money from them in exchange for them living on my property, but I was not aware of where the money was coming from, since they have just been depositing it directly into my bank account for he past couple of months. Can I easily evict them? Do landlord/tenant laws (Alaska) even apply here? I have no proof they are selling or doing drugs (just the neighbor's email, but I don't think she is lying. Maybe exaggerating a bit or being gossipy.) I am probably going to contact a lawyer, but wanted to ask here first to help me prepare. | My month-to-month tenant moved out without telling me and her friends moved in. They pay rent, but the neighbors hate them. What's the best legal way for me to get them out? |
t3_co2qh | needadvice | Everyone thinks I'm dating a girl at work... it gets VERY awkward. | I recently found out that pretty much everyone in the office I work in think me and this girl are dating. I'm a man. We are very close friends, and I thought nothing more. When I think back on it now, I can see where this idea came from. We spend a lot of time together at work, and joke a lot etc.
Here is where it get's complicated. I am kind of in the closet, I have told many of my close non-work friends that I am gay, but nobody at work. The part that is confusing me is that I feel attracted to this girl, like I could date her. I have had feelings like this before for girls, but I never acted on them. I am having a lot of trouble distinguishing whether this is me trying to fit into society and inventing feelings, or whether they are genuine. I don't think that I am bi-sexual, but I have never really considered the idea either.
Has anyone else been through problems like this before? How did you deal with it?
Thanks
(I'm only about 20 if that makes a difference) | ': Think I'm gay, everyone in office thinks a girl and I are dating, think I might actually like the girl, can't tell if feelings are genuine. HELP!! |
t3_m1igh | legaladvice | Renters horror story that takes the cake: please advise! | I signed a lease with my boyfriend, best friend, and her fiance back in August for 6 months...3 months in they literally wait until me and the boyfriend are gone, pack our their things and leave. To China. They have left us no money for this month (it"s past due by 4 days for their part now) or the rest of the lease. They did leave a bunch of their things. Took my 42" plasma flatscreen, though. Had his parents go in our apt, take it, and sell it for $. When I have contacted them through email They respond with vague answers, all to the tune of "I'll send it...". I don't believe them. Fiance on ccap appears to have a record, owes 11,000 to a different landlord. He also left 2 days before an apparent court date for a dui with open container violation. Found the ticket in his room.
Landlords have not specified whether we will be responsible for covering their end yet, hoping that they would step up. I cannot afford to double my rent and survive. These people abandoned the apartment and seem to be breaking our implied agreement of splitting the rent 4 ways.
What the hell do I do? I have been in touch with my landlord throughout this, letting them know what's going on, my ex roommates' refusal to communicate clearly and assured them we do not intend to break our part of the lease and will continue to stay here. I need help, Reddit! please advise. I can also do into more detail if necessary. | roommates abandoned lease halfway through, moved to China behind our backs, don't seem intent on paying. Cannot double my rent to cover their asses. |
t3_1zkib8 | relationships | She [22 F] usually doesn't care about looking good and it's causing me [26 M] to lose interest. | So I'll just start off by saying that I feel like an asshole for having these thoughts/feelings, but it is what it is.
We've been together for about two years now and I love her very much. We never fight and we're super compatible personality-wise. I've often thought of marrying her and I probably would if it wasn't for this issue.
When I first started dating this girl, she wasn't the most fashionble girl but she wore nice clothes and tasteful makeup when we would go out. However, after a while of us going out and getting more comfortable with each other, she began to settle into what seems to be her preference to not want to take the time to get made up for the day and just throws on whatever.
To be fair, she has a naturally beautiful face, although it can seem quite plain if she's not wearing any makeup. She can be stunning when she does. I love her and her personality, but when I go out into the world and see so many beautiful girls who have made themselves up for the day, it really tears at me.
I've mentioned this to her here and there in casual ways like "oh, you didn't put any makeup on" or "I'm not sure I like those shoes with that outfit" or suggesting some other clothing. She didn't really seem to respond to that positively so I've gone on to complimenting her when she does look good but it hasn't seemed to change anything much.
It hurts my heart to see other girls who look better and think about beingn with them instead, but that's what happens in my head. | She doesn't care too much about her physical appearance and it's making me less physically attracted to her. I feel like a pig, but I need advice. |
t3_1t9w7g | relationships | [Non-Romantic] My Mother seems to feel upstaged by my cooking. Silly question, but I have to know WHY! | I want to start that this will all sound really silly because it isn't a *real* problem, but I just want an answer to **why!**
My mother (61) and I (23) are very close, I would say one of my best friends. But one small, and really unimportant thing always gets me annoyed and confused. Whenever there is a holiday, I always offer to bake. I love baking and I'm good at it. Every time I put effort into making dessert for my family, I bring it to my parent's house and find out my mother has baked at LEAST one other LARGE dessert. I don't feel "upstaged" or anything, but I specifically make stuff for my family that I know they will eat and I make a certain amount so food isn't wasted. Every dessert ends up wrapped, put in the fridge, and forgotten about. I hate seeing that food go to waste.
Today, I told my mom I would cook breakfast on xmas for the family so it is ready for her by the time she comes home from church. I said it would be simple, bacon and eggs and my homemade cronuts because we both agreed there would be a large dinner she is cooking that night. Well, now she is insisting she makes this huge breakfast along with my bacon and eggs and cronuts. And I said to her, we don't want to waste food and the point of this is so we don't overeat and you don't have to cook. I guarantee she will end up baking it. It's just irritating. Why do you think she does this? I feel like it is some sort of female competition of "who bakes better?" | Every time I tell my mom I will make food she ends up making a large dish causing for too many leftovers. Why does she do it? |
t3_n1413 | AskReddit | Non-USA Redditors - What is history class like in your country? What did you learn about large wars? How did they teach you about it? | Just out of pure curiosity. I always wondered how Europeans learned about WW2, or even more, how Germans learned about Hitler. Also, how is he portrayed over there in the history books?
US History seems so overwhelmingly packed with war, war, and more war, and hardly at all filled with any "feel good news". Is it the same with history in other countries? What do they teach you guys over in Europe, or Australia, or what the hell, why not, Canada? | I'm glad I always enjoyed learning about history, because other countries don't sounds like they have a lot to talk about, which isn't really a bad thing when you really think about it.. |
t3_rpuww | AskReddit | Should I go to Uconn or Babson next year? | The results are in, and after four tough years at a prep school I'm down to my last decision. Should I got Uconn or Babson? I've been fascinated with starting my own business since I was 7, and I know I want to work in the Finance world (internships, talking to people in the industry). Babson clearly costs more than Uconn. Babson has a better program from my research, and can give me more hands on experience. Uconn has Division I sports teams, while Babson is Division III. There is less of a social life at Babson than at Uconn. | In your opinion, should I go to Uconn or Babson next year? I am not basing my decision on this thread, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts. |
t3_zwbkh | dating_advice | How do I meet someone offline? | Okay, I'm not a socially awkward shut in by any means. I love being around people; people love being around me, and I go bar hopping and clubbing regularly, always have a nice time.
That said, I'm a foreveraloner, I've had an absolutely terrible time with online dating, so I've deleted all of my profiles. I'm done with it. But I feel like...I don't know how to meet someone if it's not online. Online courtship has been an option for my entire adolescence and adulthood, and it hasn't worked for me. It's lead to some minor annoyances to major heartbreak. It's enabled me to have several flings, but I want some legit relationships. I want to be able to get to know someone and have them get to know me. | I'm 21, in college, and I don't know where to look for a romantic partner other than the internet. I know that clubs and bars ain't the place to do so. |
t3_rzy4k | AskReddit | I'm in my mid-twenties, and life feels utterly hopeless right now. Has anyone on reddit overcome a feeling of hopelessness and made something of themselves? | To give you a context of my situation, I'm 25 years old. I live at home with a family I don't like, I'm socially stunted, and I'm struggling to pay off my debts since I can't find a job. I have a very low self-esteem, and I'm equally scared of conflict and rejection. I've never had a girlfriend, and feel like I lack the social skills and motivation needed to actually do something with my life.
I was not always like this, as I used to have a very strong spirit. I wanted to get a job through high school and save up money to attend university abroad, mainly so that I can escape the manipulative and emotionally abusive environment at home and finally be able to have friends/girlfriends/a life. I don't want to go into details, but my family succeeded in breaking my spirit, and now I'm just a broken shell of what I was once. I so badly want to be ambitious/confident/do something with myself, and I see it bubbling within me, but there's something holding me back. Part of me thinks the skills needed to survive in society, the same ones that people have been honing and developing their entire lives, are absent within me.
I'm lost and I don't know how to pick myself back up. I know I still have time to change, but I feel like I need to get my shit together quickly. I'm not asking for any advice - I know I have to fight my own demons myself. What I really need is some inspiration. Have any of you been in a similar situation, and if so, what are your stories? Your stories are so awesomely appreciated right now, and I (and others in the same situation) will be so grateful. | Feel like a shell of person and am completely lost. I want to change before it's too late. Any redditors who were in the same situation? If so, what are your stories of overcoming your despair? |
t3_42a5en | relationships | I [19F] am feeling suffocated by my toxic, needy friend [F18]. | So the deal is that while I grow disinterested in hanging out with a 'friend' from home in favour of my college friends, she is getting even more clingy and rude. She's toxic, self conscious, and has almost no other friends on campus. She's had a hard transition into freshmen year, and while I feel bad for her, I don't like her behavior. I try to include her in activities with my new friend group, but she obviously dislikes it and would rather just be with me all the time. At this point I'm getting so close to friends at university that I feel compelled to spend as much time as I can with them, and as little as I can with her. It's not kind to do by any means but I'm just trying to have fun and cut out people who make me insecure and insult me for their own satisfaction.
She's now made it a point to reiterate often that we're best friends but honestly, I'm her best friend at best. She's hard to shake, and almost every time I've been at her house she's guilted me out of leaving early, or flat out saying "you can't go until 10 ..." and then stalling for time when I'm trying to head out. I can enjoy her company in small bursts but I'd rather spend time with people who make me feel good almost always.
What should I do? | I have a problematic clingy friend who I want to back off but I feel it would be bad to directly tell her to lay off. Am I bad for abandoning a friend? |
t3_vugrs | AskReddit | As a kid, did you play secret sex games like doctor with other kids/family friends/cousins?? | I have some really cringy memories. One time when I was 7 I remember going to a family friend's house with my parents. The family had 2 kids; a girl and boy. The boy was my friend but he got in trouble and his parents spanked him and sent him to bed. So when he went crying into his bedroom I hung out with his younger sister (5 or 6) and I remember we got naked and got on top of each other under sheets, kissing and stuff. As a Catholic I was plagued with guilt for the rest of my childhood because I thought I was having sex, I even confessed this to a priest. I thought God would disown me for doing this. But this didn't stop me, it was thrilling playing naughty games behind my parents back.
I guess I don't feel so embarrassed now since I read sexual games are part of "child development", but it's still pretty disturbing I did shit like that so young. My parents were super strict so it's not like I was watching R-Rated movies when I was 5......makes me wonder where we get this stuff lol | – As a young kid I used to play sex games with other kids, anyone else had a similar perverted childhood?? |
t3_2ff559 | tifu | TIFU by buying a T-Mobile Sim card | About two months ago I was browsing Slickdeals and there happened to be a deal where you can get a T-Mobile Sim card for free (Using a promo code). I saw that people were buying heaps of them, so I decided to get one and my thought It's free why not? After I buy it I can get the 30$ plan that T-Mobile gives at Walmart.
To be short I never went to Walmart to buy the 30$ plan after I got the Sim card, I forgot about the sim card and today I checked my mail, most of the time it's junk advertisements that I usually throw away, and there was a letter from T-Mobile. I opened and it was a bill, a bill for $348.
Yea.....I'm a broke 18 year old guy, I don't know how the hell the bill got to $300+ in two months, But T-Mobile if you ever read this I can't pay you back sorry dog, I hope you understand. | Bought 'free' Sim card, forgot about it. 2 months later, T-Mobile sends me a bill for almost tree fiddy. |
t3_2x93u9 | Advice | He's becoming creepy and obsessive | I recently started talking to someone online. He approached me and he seemed fairly nice and funny so I was polite and continued a conversation with him. He turned out to be really cool and I decided to switch to skype to talk to him. After about two weeks of us talking he sent me some word document detailing how he felt about me and said he wanted to send me something for valentine's day. That was when I made it very clear to him that I wasn't interested in him like that and that I am actually aromantic.
He seemed alright with it and we moved on fairly easily. Then one day I was feeling kind of down and didn't feel like talking. That was when he started to apologize a lot, I'm not sure why he just stated saying "sorry" repeatedly. I made a short rant on tumblr, unaware that he knew my tumblr, only to find out a couple days later that he had a tumblr and was most definitely looking at mine. I looked through his tumblr and found that he only had a few posts on there but all of the text posts were about me. A day or two later, I checked again to see if he was still talking about me and he wrote a whole poem about me.
He continues to be very creepy and he keeps asking me really personal questions and he keeps trying to actually skype with me but I'm getting a little freaked out. Advice on what I should do with him? | Someone I started talking to online a while ago has become very creepy and obsessive with me. I'm not sure what I should do next and I'd really rather not be mean or rude. Advice? |
t3_4o3v3p | relationships | I [ 23 M ] have been good friends with a girl [ 22 F ] for about 6 years, but I've fallen in love with her. What can I do to make a relationship with her work? | I've known her for what seems like all of the good years of my life, shes got long burgandy hair and these greenish brown eyes. We met in highschool where I remember catching her eye one day playing guitar on some lonely bench. She is probably the most talented girl I've ever met with a voice you wouldn't believe and the most beautiful personality.
We've both always been artistically inclined, shes even the published author of three books. I'm some lost romantic who plays guitar and thinks to much. We would make music with eachother from time to time and just talk about life. Part of me always wondered if there was somthing there all along. We went to a couple of dances with eachother when going to school.
Alot changed when I graduated highschool. I joined the military and became a part of a different world, we went different ways when she went on to college. I lived a life for awhile where I was gone for 9 months out of the year and started feeling that a relationship would be impossible. I eventually got picked up to go to a military academy, but things didn't improve much. I've been alone for over 5 years now and wish that I would have told her how I felt earlier on in life.
I face a great fear that I'll never find a girl like her again; I love her. I went and visited her recently this summer and told her how I feel, but she just got out of a three and a half year relationship and has been through alot, even seeing the death of some family. She's been under alot of stress and told me that she can't process emotions.
Seeing as I care about her tremendously, I want to respect this, but I also can't imagine a world without her. Everything comes so naturally when I'm with her and I don't want to let her go.
I feel like if I lived near her we could really be somthing, but we live a few states apart and when I graduate I'm going to be entering a 10 year contract with the military. What can I do to make a relationship with her work? | I [ 23 M ] have been good friends with a girl [ 22 F ] for about 6 years, but I've fallen in love with her. What can I do to make a relationship with her work? |
t3_1l5m2t | AskReddit | How do you deal with people who constantly spoiler things? | my boyfriend is finally getting into Breaking Bad. I've seen most of it but I am keeping quiet so to not ruin anything for him.
Today in his office, 2 people next to him started talking about last nights episode and how it relates back to whatever. my BF mentioned politely that he hadn't seen that far ahead yet and could they talk about it somewhere else. His co-worker told him to fuck off and it was his own fault for not being 100% up to date.
We're in Australia. not everyone downloads here, some wait for it to be on cable and others on free to air. so it's fair to say a lot of people wouldn't have seen last nights episode so far.
What would you do?
in my office, we are all obsessed with Dexter and GoT as well as BB. We have an agreement not to discuss the shows when certain people are in the room so as not to spoiler them.
I have personally defriended someone over their constant spoilering of tv shows and movies (she gets things in advance and ruins it for everyone) | Boyfriend got spoilered for Breaking Bad in the office, co-worker told him to fuck off when he asked him to not say anything to him about it. |
t3_r1biw | AskReddit | How can I get AT&T to give me my DSL bandwidth back? | So for two years, I had what only exists in legends: awesome internet service from AT&T. For $50/mo, I had 6Mb/s service that consistently worked at 8Mb/s. Customer service was probably crap, but I never had a problem so it was a non-issue. Then my old room mate moved out and a new one moved in, and to switch the billing he closed the account and I opened a new one.
Then there was a lot of drama about there being a "cap" in my area and "provisioning" a line, the details of which I can go into if someone is interested. The end of the story is that for the last few months I've had "768kb/s" service, which is really more like 400kb/s service, and I can no longer reliably stream even an mp3, much less netflix. The only two choices where I live are at&t and one of those typical "get an exclusive contract on an apartment complex and proceed to rape the residents" ISPs, who I signed up for a second account with and turned out to be even worse. I just cancelled it.
I'm about to give up and make plans to not renew the lease on an apartment that I *really like*, but I thought I would consult the hive mind before doing so. | How can I convince AT&T that the equipment that was capable of delivering 1000KB/s to my apartment a few months ago still works? |
t3_3mt9ri | legaladvice | Freelanced this summer, company I worked for has taken two months to pay after invoicing. Added a late payment penalty and interest which they late payment fee and interest but refused to pay. (UK) Updated (X-post from r/ukpersonalfinance) | original post in [r/ukpersonalfinance]( | Invoiced company, paid a a month late, charged them late payment fee and interest which they refused to pay, should I pursue? |
t3_1ismb3 | relationships | I'm(27f) breaking up with him(31m), how to behave while we still live together? | Okay, the lease is up and we're starting to find new places to live. But until once of us gets out... what should I be doing? I have been staying at some friends' places the last few nights or just coming back really late from work so he's already asleep. I know the right thing to do is 'no contact', even when we're amicable. But unless I'm out of that apartment 24/7, 'no contact' doesn't really work out since I'm still going in and out for various things and having to chat about logistics.
Should I just be casual and normal with him til one of us is gone (I'm sure within 2 weeks), it seems like acting cold and distant yet still being present would be painful as well, I don't know if that would expedite his healing process by much.
We had the chat about making distance, and we did recognize that it would be hard to not see each other around anyway because we work in a very small industry. So to him, it was a bit absurd to change the trajectory of our lives around avoiding each other, since we'll have the same social groups. So while in this situation where we can't fully avoid each other anyway... how should I behave when I see him at home? Should I just convince him to agree on the no contact rule once we aren't living in the same spot?
I have a feeling I am being weak about this... avoiding my guilt by embracing friendliness rather than doing what's best. Is that so? Is it ok to act more or less normal when we see each other at home (still sleeping/living in separate rooms though!) or should it be like... really curt? Curt in the way that might hurt a little or emphasize the awkwardness? Am I even supposed to say 'hello'??
How much help should I provide for his moving out (if he moves out first)? I've mostly just made some recommendations on say, moving services... I need to do the right thing. | amicable ex and I are going to move out soon, how should I behave towards him when I see him at home? |
t3_4zp945 | relationships | Boyfriend wanted to loan money and got mad because I told him I don't feel comfortable with the idea. What to do now? | Hi guys,
I need some help and opinion.
We have been together for over two years, lived together one year. We have separate accounts and pay everything half and half. I have more savings than he does. Well. Now he wanted to borrow money from me. 18 000 $ . That's lot of money for me. He wants to buy a motorcycle with that money, he can't afford to buy it if he doesn't borrow that money. I said i will think about the loan but i don't feel comfortable with the idea, because he doesn't need the bike (he has a car and basicly he doesn't have money to buy it). I have borrowed him smaller amounts before for necessary things (ofcourse I want to help him out if he really needs help). He has allways payd me back. But this time it's different, he only _wants_ the bike but does not need it. And it's a huge amount of money.
Before I even had time to make my decission, he got mad (he says I wanted to think it too long and he can't wait. And he is angry because I wanted to think a while and didn't immedeately say yes). Now he is giving me the silent treatment and is really angry. Refuses to talk about the subject. Sulks.
Did I do wrong? Or did i dodge the bullet?
What kind of people would get mad if girlfriend doesn't borrow him money? | boyfriend wanted to borrow a lot of money from me. He got very angry because I said I was not sure I will borrow him that money. Now he is giving me the silent treatment. What to do? |
t3_4ugp1m | relationships | My [M20] GF/fiance [F20] of over 3 years does not feel any emotional intimacy during sex. | BACKGROUND: We have been together since our junior year in highschool and have been incredibly close (emotionally) from the start. My freshman and sophomore years I went to school out of the state, while she went to a community college near our houses, so we were apart for long periods of time. It is always been clear that I have a higher sex drive, but also like to show my affection more through physical touch (nonsexual) than she does.
This summer we both have been working a lot and she has made a lot of friends at her work, so we haven't been seeing each other as often as usual, but we both got a week off to go on a fun road trip.
The trip was starting off great and we were able to spend lots of time together, eating, sleeping, and even showering together, and since we had gone 3 weeks without any sexual/intimate moments I think I was understandably pretty needy, but after 3 days nothing had happened, and she kept telling me she was not in the mood I got moody. We had a fight and I ended up walking around outside for a bit to cool off.
ISSUE: I come back and try to explain my frustration and my feelings towards sex/intimacy, which I called the pinicle between emotional and physical connection. She told me then that she had never felt any emotional connection or any emotional connection to sex and that she thought the only reason to do it was to satisfy physical urges, which is why she isn't all that fond of sex when she isn't in the mood beforehand.
This was sort of a crushing blow to me, because it sort of makes me feel like a good friend she fucks (note: not makes love to) every now and again, and this is the girl I am planning on marrying. It's been about a week since then and I still feel unsure about the whole situation. Am I just too overzealous about this? Is it normal to not feel any sort of emotional connection to someone during sex if you consider them more than just a f-buddy? | The girl I've been with for 3 years does not feel any emotional connection during sex and it makes me feel less confident in our relationship. Is this a problem? |
t3_2t2tjt | relationships | My sister [27 M/F] just got contacted by her husband's [26 M/F] girlfriend | My sister, Darlene, (fake name) just contacted me looking for advice. Her husband, Joe (again, fake) works in another state, on a different side of the country. They've been married for around 5 years now, and he cheated on her before marriage (again, long distance) but they worked it out.
There were suspicions of cheating while they lived together, but nothing proven. They got into fights, and at one point Darlene had him arrested for domestic violence. He was drunk and forcibly shook her during and argument while making threats. Yeah, I know, Joe's a real winner. Once again, they reconciled. This was an isolated incident as far as I know.
He was short on work and began working in another state again. He was making trips back to see her "as often as possible," which wasn't very often, but was forgivable due to the demanding nature of the job.
Today Darlene was texted by a person claiming to be Joe's live-in girlfriend in the location he works from. Due to his history of cheating and suspicion of cheating, it seems like this is probably not just some sort of prank. She's been asking questions about their relationship and trying to figure out his deceit.
Joe is visiting this weekend, which came as a surprise to Darlene. He's told the girlfriend that she could come, though that's could just be a bluff. Who knows. Darlene knew he was due for a visit soon, but had no idea it would be this weekend.
Both Joe & Darlene are Florida residents. They were married in a foreign country, where Joe is originally from, but they did all his naturalization and have a Florida marriage certificate. No kids.
What should she do at this point, aside from the obvious? (leaving his cheating ass.) I don't know much about Florida marriage law or their nuptials. I told her to lawyer up, and that lawyer may suggest that she record him verbally admitting cheating. However, if she is afraid of him physically acting out again, which she doesn't seem to be, he may suggest changing the locks/getting a restraining order. | Wife called by husband's girlfriend. Looking like a divorce. How to best handle things from here? Florida/no kids |
t3_10ftx3 | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some of your TV show/movie "aha" moments? | I'll start. I was re-watching How I Met Your Mother last week, and I when I got to season 4, I started noticing that both Lily (Alyson Hannigan) and Robyn (Cobie Smulders) started wearing really unflattering clothes and hiding behind giant purses and lamps and furniture. For those of you who aren't HIMYM watchers, both characters are normally very well dressed. I watched a few more episodes with this going on, and became more and more confused.
So finally in S4E20, Barney makes a dirty joke, and Lily gets so disgusted that she leaves. Ted narrates "and we didn't see her for 4 weeks." And it finally hit me. Alyson Hannigan was pregnant the whole season and finally left to have her baby.
Then I started wondering about Cobie, because although she didn't leave the show for an extended amount of time, her clothes were just god awful during that time, and at the beginning of season 5, she looked tired and not as well put together, much like a new mom. So I looked it up, and yep! She had been pregnant too.
The whole thing completely blew my mind, because the first time I had watched the show, and particularly that season, I had never noticed anything different. | I found out that 2 female stars in a show were pregnant at the same time and the show didn't do a very good job of covering it up. |
t3_1nf07p | relationships | My [17 F] boyfriend/best friend[17 M] has depression. What can I do to be there for him? | **Background:** We've been dating for a year, best friends for two. We are both love each other, and yes, still in high school. However, I consider both of us to be more mature than the stereotypical teenage.
Okay, now to my question. I recently realized due to a recent [Askreddit Thread] and Depression Comix that my boyfriend is depressed. I mean, he told me before, but for some reason I never realized how much. Anyways, a lot of the signs are there: often feels lonely, and when things are 100% okay IMHO, he starts to worry that I will leave or something bad will happen to our relationship.
I want to be there for him, I've *always* wanted to be there for him. So if anyone here knows if there's any additional actions I can do to help him, please let me know. Thank you. | My bestfriend/boyfriend is depressed and I simply want to know what I can do to help. Please do not suggest breaking up with him. Thank you. |
t3_j6u9q | AskReddit | Reddit, tell me your best matchmaker stories. | I'll start with mine. Last year, my roommate and I would occasionally hop on chat roulette and talk with random internet people when we were insanely bored. We stopped doing this after a few instances, because of the sheer number of dicks that pale, obese men wave at you via webcam.
My roommate has a friend, Josh, who had recently gone through a bad breakup. We decide to prank Josh and expose him to gobs of male nudity on chat roulette (to cheer him up...or something).
The conversation went something like this:
Roommate- "Hey man, you should check out chat roulette! There's tons of cute girls on there who will do weird stuff if you ask'em!"
Josh- "That's fucking awesome I am gonna try it out tonight!"
We facebooked Josh a few days later, and asked him what he thought. Turns out, the guy actually met a surprisingly attractive girl on chat roulette and they exchanged further information. They later flew out to meet each other, and have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. So, our little prank turned into a lifechanging event for our friend Josh. | Pranked a friend into going onto chat roulette, he meets gorgeous long distance soulmate amidst the sea of cock. |
t3_4yy04m | relationships | Me [24M] with my friend/coworker [22F] of 2 months, Should i keep waiting or give up? | I Started working with this Girl just over 2 months ago and we are already friends and share many similar interests. I am extremely interested in her and i have never tried to date anyone or really ever made any kind of move ever, i have really bad anxiety and constantly question what i am going to say.. like messaging her on facebook i constantly find myself retyping everything i say like 10 times.
Now there is kind of a thing that i know about and its making me unsure if i should even try. Her and her friend got hired at the same time and another co-worker also knows them.. this co-worker knows i am interested in her but tells me that she has a crush on the friend that got hired at the same time.. However her friend doesn't want that kind of thing with her and she is currently stuck on this crush that she knows she needs to get over.
Now I talk to her a lot on facebook and we play games like 20 questions to learn more about each other and well the questions quickly become sex related like "whats your favorite sex position/ whats your fantasy" These types of questions makes me think she is somewhat interested in me but i don't know because of her crush and she has told me she isn't looking for anything until she gets over her crush.
Despite that i have brought her out to the movies and we are getting to know each other more and more... I am very confused on the situation.. and before anyone says i can tell for a fact she isn't trying to get attention. | I have crush on girl... she has crush on a friend that doesn't want that kind of thing.. and i am confused if i should try because of mixed signals. |
t3_3hcbow | relationships | Problems with gf(F43) ex(m) coming to our place daily. | First off I'm (35m) white from the south. We've been together for 9 months and live together. I live in the midwest. My gf has a mixed child. Took me a while to deal with that when i found out. I'm able to deal with that now. Her father is Kenyan. He comes over every other week, every day, to drop her off and pick her up for school. He was picking her up from school and only coming over once in a while to pick up and drop off. I have a problem with this. He comes to the door and tries to chat up the kids and my gf. I've told my gf it bothers me and she doesn't care. I feel like he doesn't need to come to the door every time. He should text or call when hes here and my gf can come get her or open the door and wait for her. He shouldn't be coming to our door. Am i wrong? | gf ex comes over everyday to our door to drop off kid and i don't like it. I think he should stay in his car am i wrong? |
t3_4ulxrg | jobs | How often does someone get hired on the spot? Finally got an interview within my field but it's entry level IT. | I flew by those questions...but the downside of it is that I've been in IT for ten years and I'm still entry-level so they would probably be like why am I not advanced yet? I just haven't been given the opportunity to advance because no one would ever give me a chance full time that we started our own technology business and that's where I got most of my training...but it was hard marketing my business which is why I quit it.
Some people think I have a shot because normally IT guys want to be their own bosses and not stay at an entry level IT. On one hand I think I may get it, but on another if I don't, I'm okay with it because it only pays $18 to $20 an hour and I've been looking for higher than that. Was so confident I expected them to say I can start tomorrow but then they said they still have to interview other candidates and need two weeks...then I told them I have other interviews too, and I felt this was the best position for me, then they said it might be less than two weeks for their decision. All the office people seemed to like me for the few brief moments they talked with me. That would be a nice place to work at...cubicles. | How often does someone get hired on the spot? I feel like one of the few reasons why they may not pick me is that so many candidates probably applied to the same position since many people do what I do, ugh. |
t3_n7p5z | BreakUps | Help with ex | My SO and I broke up due to a little argument, but the relationship was struggling for a year so it was inevitable. We decided to become friends as it was not a horrible breakup and we both had mutual interests.
A week goes by and she starts seeing this new guy, I have nothing but the nicest things to say and don't flip out or get mad. She always comes to me for advice and help with even their most intimate things. This clearly hurts me but I help her and try to be a good friend.
I on the other hand only went on one date and did nothing since this breakup and she flips out on me. I don't understand and we stop talking for a week. She later says she overreacted and still wants to be friends.
Now she is still coming to me for help with the intimate nature and I hate it. I want to be a good friend but that's not helping me. She knows it hurt me that she dated so soon and tells me about it. I don't know what to do, I want it to stop and be normal friends or at least be fair but I can't tell her anything of the same nature without her freaking out. What do I do reddit? | Me and ex are friends, she tells me intimate details of new relationship. I cant without her freaking out, what do I do? |
t3_3ibt3x | relationships | Emotionally cheating. Maybe?? | Me [39]. GF [28]. Together for a year now. In love and happy as hell. So my GF always closes her phone when I come in the room. I know she isn't cheating on me in the traditional sense but I'm worried that she may be cheating on me emotionally with someone online. My mind is kind of racing with all the possibilities. I really don't know what to think or even how to bring it up. But she does it pretty consistently. It would really hurt me to know if this was true. Do I let it go or confront her? | I think my girlfriend might be cheating on me emotionally with someone online. I love her so this is beyond awkward for me and would seriously break my heart. I don't know what to do. |
t3_2fytim | relationships | (26f) interested in (29m) friend, is he interested in me or are we just friends hanging out? | So I'm stuck in limbo in regards to not being sure if my guy friend wants to be more than friends or what. We've gone out a few times, first as a big group to an amusement park but it wound up being just him and then my friends.
We were strictly friends then, paying our own ways, just a see ya later, that's it. Recently we've been talking a lot lately and we went to the mall together and he bought me lunch and asked for a hug goodbye when we departed. A few weeks later, I invited him to a concert and we went and he put his hands on my shoulders and walked behind me to guide me through the crowd and at times he had his hand on my lower back to guide me as well, and we ended the night with a hug goodbye
. No hand holding or anything, so I'm still unsure. I gave him these figures he collects the other day and he was like how am I going to repay you? And I said don't worry about it, he asked about my work schedule, but it's difficult right now so he said we will figure something out.
Then I get a message later that day and he said the following day we should go get something to eat or watch a movie. That was the first time he initiated us going out somewhere. Was it a date or just a hangout? I'm not sure. But we wound up going to eat, no such luck with movie times because it was a Sunday night and pretty late so we wound up going to walmart after dinner
. It was actually pretty fun and we again ended with a hug goodbye. I really hope we can go to the movies together soon or something that would let me know if he is interested or if we are just friends hanging out. I don't know what to do. I've actually never had a serious boyfriend before even though I'm 26 so I really need all the opinions and advice I can get | girl likes guy friend, is he showing interest, how do I let him know I'm interested, don't want to ruin friendship |
t3_137bet | relationships | Should I break up with my boyfriend [22] because I [21] am emotionally unstable? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year, and we've suddenly spent the last few months fighting very often. I cry a lot and can be irrationally sensitive. My sister has a terminal illness and her health is declining quickly. I'm under a lot of stress with a few other issues as well. I'm always on edge, ready to crack into upsetment at any issue. I feel as though I'm ruining our relationship, and I feel terrible for subjecting him to my emotional instability. On the other hand, it is sometimes helpful to have him there when I'm upset (though I rarely talk about it). Should I break up with him because I am taking my stress/problems out on him? Or is it fair to keep him involved when I am not completely available right now to devote myself to a happy relationship? | I'm dealing with a lot right now, and feel guilty for accidentally taking my stress out in my relationship. Should I end it? |
t3_dvh2n | relationship_advice | Was she hitting on me? | Preface: I work at a computer helpdesk, I fix stuff for people.
Earlier this week I started helping an (attractive female) user with a particularly gnarly problem and gave instructions to the tech on shift after me to he could finish getting it sorted. To make a long story short the problem turned out to be more difficult than I had anticipated and beyond the ability of the other techs. Since her system was now non-functional due to the tender care rendered by my coworkers I ended up scheduling some time to come in and help her today (Saturday, my day off).
As we were wrapping up she made an off-hand comment that I should "let her know when she can buy me a coffee or something," and gave me an odd look. After I left work one of the other techs who had been on shift sent me a txt asking if I realized that she was hitting on me. Huh?
I'm generally ignorant of these sort of things and thought she was just being nice or feeling socially obligated since the service we provide is free. Was she? | Girl offers to buy me coffee after I came in on my day off to fix her computer. Was she hitting on me? |
t3_hhclg | AskReddit | Reddit, my brother is a deadbeat at 16 and it's killing my mother - what do? | So here's the story. When my brother started high school, he started on the fast track to failure. He's knee deep in god knows what drugs as we speak and his room is littered with cold shots. He skips classes everyday, didn't finish all his credits for grade 9, let alone the ones he needs for the grade he's SUPPOSED to be in now. And my mom doesn't know what to do.
She has 4 kids- me (19), my deadbeat brother (16), my other brother (almost 15), and my youngest brother (also, almost 15) who's blind and mildly autistic. She's also a single parent (my dad's basically out of the picture). All she wants is to be able to leave and go to camp with her long-term boyfriend for a couple days now and then without having to worry about deadbeat brother doing something stupid. He wasn't supposed to have friends over this weekend (because they'll sit in his room and smoke pot and drink, and why should I have to be responsible for that?) but he hasn't listened to that rule once (they've been flushed out 3 times).
My family even had a little intervention thing not that long ago, which seems to have had no effect. Even my dad came into town and helped. No improvement whatsoever.
What do, Reddit? How do we make him see how shitty he's making everyone else's lives around him? How do we make him see he's ruining his own future too? How can I get my mom a break?
... | my brother is a deadbeat (skips classes, does drugs, drinks heavily, doesn't listen) and my mom is going to lose it pretty soon. All she wants is a weekend off. How do we fix? |
t3_f0gfi | AskReddit | Help with fake phone number system - PLEASE! | So I have a bit of a predicament and I really hope I can get some help fast.
So, I am on probation and my probation officer wants to verify whether or not I have been attending AA the past month (which I haven't - I honestly don't have enough time) and wants me to turn in a sheet to her with all my times that I went and a number so she can call someone to verify.
I need to know if there is a reasonable system that I can either set up a phone number that just routes to an online mailbox and I can just call her back from said number and pretend to be another attendee. Or a fake number that is forwarded to my phone number. I tried setting this up with Google Voice but I can't seem to get it to go to a different voicemail box. It always eventually sends it to my voicemail, which states my number. | I need either an entirely fake number that goes to an independent voicemail that I can check, OR, a fake number to forward to my phone, but uses a seperate voicemail. |
t3_fmmol | needadvice | How do I find a good Psychiatrist? | I have massive social anxiety, it has been building my entire life, I can feel it even now as I type this. Late last November I was getting suicidally depressed, its not the first time. I was constantly spouting off about hating the entire human race. I was having problems with audio hallucinations.
My roommate who has been diagnosed as schizo-effective disorder offers me his surplus of Prozac that he has left over from when his prescription changed. I accepted hoping that it would be a solution to my disturbed nature. I started taking them regularly as they had been prescribed to my roommate 1 a day. In a few weeks I had a major improvement in mood and dropped my hatred for all of humanity(now its just assholes). I had mental stability for the 1st time in years, I was able to function through the holidays with out any major stress. I helped with my cousins wedding on new years eve, and had a fantastic time. even thou i had such dread of the social aspects of it since it was announced. then about two weeks into January I stopped taking it, I had only my roommates surplus and no way of getting more. I felt stable enough to try life again without it. I left my self enough of Prozac that if I hit a rough patch it would be there to fall back on.
well here I am a month later and social anxiety has built to such levels it is affecting my work. I had to admit this to my boss on Monday that I had not done my job calling venders because I couldn't coupe with calling someone unfamiliar to me. I need to find a psychiatrist that can help me get on a proper medication and work to solving my problems. I have heard on many occasions from people who are unhappy with their shrink. I want to find one, but I dread talking to someone about it. Is there a website that lists psychiatrist with patient recommendations? | I need to find a Psychiatrist that can get me on proper medication and I have anxiety of calling new people, looking for a website. |
t3_12pt6j | relationship_advice | Should I really be feeling insecure about this? | Boyfriend m(19) me f (19) together for 4 years.
He met this girl in his class that asked him to work on an assignment together. He told me they worked on it in the library today. This really isn't anything I should be concerned about right? In the back on my head I think some of my insecurity stems from the thought that because we've been dating so long I fear he'll want to see what else is out there. I'm scared one of the girls he meets will make him think this way.
She knows my boyfriend has a girlfriend. Is it strange that she still asks him to work on a project together? | boyfriend met a girl in one of his classes. they're now working on an assignment together. Am I just being insecure by worrying about this? What would you do in my situation? |
t3_loia6 | AskReddit | How do I go about self publishing? | I am going to school for animal science. I am quickly realizing that while I love animals I have no passion for becoming a veterinarian. I've always loved writing. I've always done well in my English classes and I'm a creative person. I want to write. But I've spent so much of my mother's money on college that I'm afraid to tell her I don't want to be a vet anymore. But I also don't want to be going to college for the hell of it. I'm 22 and probably still have two years left for just my undergrad. Then 3 or 4 years of vet school if I can even get in after dicking around so much that my GPA has dropped well below what is needed to get into vet school. Anyway, I was wondering what would be a better route as far as after I complete a book. Trying my hand at getting published by a big ol' company or do it myself? And how would i start trying to do either. Any advice is appreciated. | I am wasting my time in college. I want to be a writer. What's the best option as far as publishing goes? |
t3_28sp76 | relationships | I [M27] just found out my best friend's [M27] sister is a stripper. He has no idea. Should I tell him? | My best friend has always been there for me. Growing up he was the one guy I could count on more than my own family. He has a strange relationship with his older sister [29], who it seems is sort of the black sheep of the family. It's a very sensitive subject for my best friend. If I ask how his sister is doing, he'll respond with "fine" and quickly change the subject.
This weekend he and I and a bunch of friends were celebrating a birthday and wound up at a nearby strip club. I sat down while my friend was using the ATM or something, and the women dancing came over to me and was like "I know you!". I didn't immediately recognize her, but once I did, I told her her brother was with us and would be over shortly. She looked worried, then said she didn't want to ruin the birthday fun, so she'd go. She jumped off the stage and ran into the dressing room, and presumably left because I didn't see her for the remainder of our time there.
I was drunk when this happened so I had no recollection of it the following day until I received a facebook message from her asking if "we [got] away with it". Clearly she doesn't want him to know. I can't help but feel like he'd be very embarrassed because he frequently seems embarrassed of her, even though I know he loves her very much. Is it my responsibility to tell him? If he found out some other way and knew that I knew, I feel like he'd be even more upset, like everyone knew but him.
For further clarification, no one else among our friends knows his sister or any of their history, or that the first woman dancing was in any way related. | My best friend has no idea his sister is a stripper. She asked me not to tell him, but I feel a responsibility to do so. |
t3_3l9moy | needadvice | I need advice on whether or not I should do something potentially disastrous to relieve stress. | So, to start off, let me apologize for the throwaway, but this is somewhat embarrassing and I don't want it on my main account.
Recently I have received a nice big load of stress from the various nuances of my life. I have an idea that I think would help me to cope with and alleviate some of this stress. The problem is, the idea is quite odd from a normal standpoint.
My idea to relieve stress is to ask my step-sister to allow me to massage her feet every now and then. I like feet, and I believe that focusing on them would help me to relax a little and get rid of some stress. This would be a completely platonic thing, (hopefully) just between the two of us. She is a pretty cool step-sister overall, and we're even thinking about being roommates this summer. I'm worried that she'll think the request is too weird and that things will get awkward, or that she'll make a big deal out of it and too many people will find out. I'm also worried that if asking doesn't go over well, it would alienate her, and I don't want that; she's a pretty cool friend.
My step-sister is pretty, but I'm not attracted to her. This isn't a sexual thing. I just believe that this will be a mutually beneficial agreement that will allow us both to relax a bit and lose some stress. What I want from you fine people, is advice on whether or not I should ask her about this, and how to go about asking this in the first place.
I will tell her about my liking feet, as I feel that if she agrees now and finds out later, she'd get mad because she'd think I used her. | I want to ask my step-sister if I can massage her feet to help get rid of stress for the both of us and I don't know how or even if I should. |
t3_167kvi | personalfinance | Couple of questions regarding money in savings | Hi all, some background: I'm 24, and have $30k sitting in my savings account, pretty much earning nothing. I also have another ~$35k sitting in a 401k and a couple grand in my checking. As for debt, pretty much nothing, except for $20k in student loans that are being paid back by my parents.
My question is this: is there any merit to leaving cash on hand, and having it for an investment opportunity should one arise outside of the normal investment vehicles (ie. roth ira, 401k, etc.). I have nothing at the moment, but I'm hoping to either start some sort of business on the side, or any number of options. But like I said, nothing is currently in sight so as of now, the money is just sitting there. And my only hesitation for putting the money in the IRA is if I want to for whatever reason pull it out, I'll be paying a hefty fee to do so before I'm retirement age.
I plan on keeping the $30k there for sure, but the number will grow, and I know I should be making use of it as my savings earns pretty much nothing. What are the best ways to keep this liquid and still earn a decent return? | $30k and growing in savings @ 24yo, should I keep it there for an odd investment opportunity or go the traditional route and put it in some sort of investment vehicle. |
t3_1n742z | relationships | My [26 M] brother [36 M] is making or attempting to make mysterious calls from my home phone. | I work together with my brother as a web developer, our office is at my home . So I've been noticing in my home phone that my brother is making mysterious calls, hiding the sender to some cellphones, it hasn't had a big hit on the phone budget, but somehow I suspect he might be hiding something; either from me or from his wife (which is weird since he just got married). I know that he used to hang a lot at a chat intended for hookups and I know he has a fake facebook profile.
The phone log shows several cellphone numbers that have been called with a prefix to hide the sender. Honestly it bothers me a lot, since I don't want to get into trouble if his cover gets blown.
I don't really know how to handle this situation I don't want to be rude, but it's my phone after all and I don't want to get involved into any weird shit, he seems to call whenever I'm out of my home to a couple of different numbers. | My brother is making weird calls from my home/office phone when I'm not near. He is hiding the sender for some reason. |
t3_15irug | relationships | I (F21) and my fiance (M21) are getting married. He wants a transexual friend (M21) in the wedding. Not sure how I feel about it. More details inside. | My fiance and I (F 21 and M21) have been engaged for a little over a month now, and we have been together offically for a year, but I have known him for 8 years. This is a throw away account as I have several redditor friends.
We both have a mutual friend who I'll call Zach. We have both known Zach for quite some time. Zach recently began taking hormone therapy and estrogen and has legally changed his name to "Sophie." My fiance and Sophie have always been great friends. When Sophie movied across the country for college, my fiance went and helped him move. They keep in contact quite often via text, Facebook, or phone calls. I occasionally talk to Sophie, but not near as much as my fiance.
Here's my problem. My fiance wants Sophie in the wedding as one of his groomsmen(woman?) and I don't mind that she is in it. I did ask that he tell her to wear a pantsuit so that she matches the other. My real problem is this...
I have a quite religious family who would go mad findng out that she (who was formally a he) would be in the wedding. In fact, the few family members that know keep asking do I really want her in all my pictures, etc.
I also found out when Sophie recently visited she was pretty handsy with my fiance, which I thought crossed a line but later found out she was doing it "sarcastically." Should I say something to her about it, or let it slide?
The question is: Do I tell my family that I have a transexual (or transgender?) in the wedding? Or let them find out when they get there? (also it's very obvious she used to be a guy) And do I approach her about her behavior with my fiance? | Transgender friend is going to be in our wedding. Very religious family will probably freak out. Tell them? Also, do I approach the same friend about inapproriate behavior with my fiance? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.