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t3_148c4k | AskReddit | If you are getting harassing calls from an unknown number, is there a way to trace it to the original source? | Ok, so this same "company" keeps calling me asking for "Linda" who is not associated with this number. After getting a call every hour, on the hour, after repeatedly asking for them to take my number off their list, I decided to call them back. I kept demanding to speak with a manager, and they kept hanging up on me. Finally it got to the point where the same person was answering the phone, and he started swearing and threatening my family. I just laughed and kept calling, until I finally broke him (or so I thought). He told me he swore to never call me again. The calls stopped for about 3 days, then they started right up again. I'd call back, get the same guy, and he would cuss me out and hang up. If he let it go to voicemail, it was some magic jack number. Is there anything I can do to get this guy to stop calling? He has started blocking his number...now it just shows up as "unknown caller" when he calls. Any help would be really appreciated. | Telemarketing scam keeps calling me, has threatened my life and my family's. What can I do to make them stop/find the bastard? |
t3_193idd | AskReddit | What is something you'd rather keep as a hobby than turning that hobby into a full-time job? | There's that old saying that turning a hobby into a full-time job will most likely suck all the fun out of the hobby.
I realized that it's probably best that I just keep my drawing/comic-making hobby as a hobby instead of trying to pursue an art degree or become a starving artist. I like drawing a lot, but I don't like the idea of gambling it all on an art degree and then worrying more about money than drawing. Taking an art class and then being evaluated on what makes my art meaningful made me think that I simply don't have the artistic intuition like other classmates and that going to art school would probably crush me. When I was younger, I wanted to be an artist but I got the expected response of telling me to quit pursuing a career while I can. So I ended up doing a completely different major while still drawing on the side. I'm more happy drawing for fun and doing things at my own pace since I don't have to worry about evaluations or deadlines or constant creative flow in a work environment. And I can improve my drawing while doing it for fun instead of worrying about both improving and cranking out art at the same time. This isn't a jab at those who are pursuing an art degree/career. I have no complaints for those who attempt to do something I couldn't do, which is following through with committing to a future in art. | What is a hobby you thought you'd like to turn into a full-time job, but realized it's probably best to keep it as a side hobby? |
t3_3oek86 | relationships | Me [18 M] And my first girlfriend [17 F] broke up 2 years ago, still not over her. Could use some advice. | Me [18M] and my girlfriend [17F] broke up over two years ago, she was my first girlfriend and I believe that I was her first as well. We didn't see each other in person very often because she lived in a different town but we texted every night. That was unusual for me because I am naturally a fairly introverted person, she on the other hand is a social butterfly.
We dated for about 6 months and then one day she texted me that there was another guy from her school that she was interested in and that she hoped we could still be friends. It came as such a surprise to me that I froze and told her that I respected her decision and appreciated that she hadn't just cheated on me and that I would still be there if she wanted to start up again someday. In hindsight I think I should have questioned her a bit more.
My problem is that I just can't seem to get over her, I really liked her and I still don't know if I did something wrong or if we simply weren't compatible. It's been two years and I still think about her, I've even backed out of a couple of other relationships because I realized I was attracted to the person because they reminded me of my ex.
Can anyone help me try to understand what went wrong, and why I just can't let go?
If anyone wants additional details on our relationship and/or each of our personalities, please feel free ask. | Got friend-zoned by first girlfriend with little to no explanation. Two years later, still not over her. Advice? |
t3_2k9fob | relationships | I [19 M] REALLY need help figuring out where I am going wrong | So my life is a bit confusing. To me at least, it may be a bit more clear cut to someone on the outside. I've never been in a real relationship as I don't count stuff before my sophomore year in high school as serious. I'm getting to that point in my life where a lot of people I know are starting to get serious with their SO, and quite frankly, I envy them. Girls have always given some wack ass mixed signals. It seems that throughout my life I've had about five girls who have been very attracted to me but my self esteem was (is) so bad that I didn't know if they were serious or not. They were all pretty cute too.
The thing is, besides these select few girls, everyone else seems to think I am repulsive. I'm in college right now and I couldn't even count how many times I have been dismissed. It really hurts, and I feel so confused. How could these girls think I'm so attractive while I'm being ignored left and right. I have suffered from clinical depression since high school, and I know that is part of it. But I can't help but feel unwanted. After all, a college campus is the most ideal place to find an SO imo. | I have no clear indication of where I stand with women. Every time there is positive reinforcement, the negative reinforcment is tenfold. How do I avoid becoming a loner? |
t3_48dt8c | tifu | TIFU by coating a woman in mineral powder | Not today, but a few years ago. I was working in the Health and Beauty section of a big department store and part of my job was to help customers choose makeup. The store stayed open late on Fridays and I had a customer come in close to closing time wanting to know about different kinds of mineral powder foundation.
I was pretty worn out from dealing with craptastic customers all day, so I was tired and in a bad mood. But I put on my best yay-customer-service face and showed her a few different brands. It was all going fine until I started showing her this one powder that was stored in the handle of the brush. To apply it you'd press a button on the end of the handle and it would release some powder into the brush. She was interested in it but I couldn't get the tester to work. I kept pressing the button but it would only go about halfway and then jam. As a last resort I rammed the button hard with the palm of my hand. There was a huge popping noise and the customer disapeared in a cloud of powder. I'd managed to dislodge the blockage but in the process I'd blasted half a tube of mineral powder at this woman. She was coated head to foot and was NOT impressed. She looked like an original oompa loompa.
It was at this point I completely lost it. I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face and had to hold on to the shelves to stay upright. To this day the image of her standing there, coated in a thick layer of powder, still makes me laugh. She promptly decided mineral powder was not for her and left. | accidently caused an explosion of mineral powder and covered a customer ftom head to foot. Then laughed hysterically at her. |
t3_52peyn | relationships | I [25M] with my longterm gf [25F] live together abroad but now I'm doubting our future and the logistics are a nightmare | We have been together for more than 4 years and have spent more than 2 of those years working abroad in Asia. We recently moved to a new country 3 months ago and she didn't take to it well. She experienced severe culture shock while I felt fine. This difference in experience here further pushed us apart. Even simple things like going out with new friends became an issue that we would disagree on. I think I should have wanted to help her, but my heart hasn't been in it and has been fading over time. In the last 6 months I've felt very little of any emotion towards her. We've had sex once in the last 4 months, but most of the time I don't find myself physically attracted to her anymore. I don't know if I love her anymore either - so I'm torn between trying to repair this relationship or break it off. I've entertained the idea of breaking up but the process is so difficult given our situation.
We currently live together, with mutual friends, and work at the same school. So if we were to break up it would be impossible to avoid each other here. She might even fly back to our home country because she's stated she doesn't want to do this alone. | Living together halfway around the world, when I don't feel much towards her. Should I break up or try to fix it? |
t3_1xj6gl | relationships | 19M, never had a girlfriend, but I like this girl a lot and want to ask her out. Can you look over this text I'm considering sending and give feedback? | Just a bit of background. We met at the beginning of last semester. I was rushing a professional fraternity of which she is the president. We were always kind of close back then, talking somewhat frequently, but I never really read that much into any signs.
Then over winter break we were in contact every day. We texted/snapchatted each other daily about a wide range of things and it felt to me at least like we were actually dating. Because we were long distance, nothing ever came to fruition even though we had sort of hinted at doing things together like seeing a movie etc when we got back to campus.
Then we both came back to school and kind of lost that high level of contact. Any sort of thought I had that maybe we would be able to date is starting to slip and I don't like it. I'm pretty sure my passivity and negligence to ask her out earlier was a big turn-off. I'm thinking of being bold and saying this via text:
"XXXXX I'm going to open up and be honest with you. I like you. You're a motivated, determined, passionate individual and I find that incredibly attractive. You're also overwhelmingly cool and stunningly beautiful. Yet I value your friendship in a way I would hate to jeopardize*. But I can't keep holding back just casually waiting for something more. I'm done waiting for a perfect moment and I at the very least want you to know how I feel."
*Note, I actually do value this girl's friendship. Plus our positions within the professional fraternity mean we do meet in a professional environment often.
I typed that last night on a 4AM depressive swing. Almost sent it too. I've never asked a girl out at all before, let alone like this. Thoughts would be highly appreciated. | Feel like I'm losing this girl who I really dig. Sick of being discreet. Want to tell her how I feel. |
t3_16risg | relationships | I [22m] feel like I am in love with my 4 year old girlfriend [22f] but only when things get rough. | We've been together for almost 4 years now, the first few years went through without any events. Due to University, we spend half of the year apart from each other.
Recently, she cheated on me with one of her friends because she got really drunk and felt neglected. This caused us to break up for a week or so, however I caved because I missed her incredibly hard so we got back together. I had to leave home from Uni and expected her to arrive to my home for NYE, which she did. We had an amazing week that really strengthened our relationship, however she confessed to me that she had cheated on me, yet again, in the interval between us getting back together and her arriving to my home. This made me terribly angry but we still remained together mostly because she kept telling me that she's over it and now she is completely happy with me. She still is friends with at least one of those guys, despite me asking her to sever those ties for my sake.
I feel extremely conflicted about this in more than one way. Due to being cheated on twice, this has made me extremely suspicious and paranoid (which feels really unhealty), although when I am with her things just feel right.
Basically, I feel like I am in love with her, but I don't really like her. I haven't heard anyone else go through anything similar, how common is this and how does one deal with it?
Right now I am considering breaking up with her this weekend - for good - but I keep going from anger to anxiousness, fear, love etc. a really confusing cocktail of emotions... And it's distracting me from my work and life. | (seriously?): Been with girl for 3 or 4 years now. She cheats on me, twice. We're still together, want to break up but I feel like I am in love with her. |
t3_2rggav | Advice | What to say to get rid of a guy trying to workout with me sort of? Any advice is appreciated! | Been lifting for a year 6 months proper lifting and roughly 2 months into bulk. By now I've started getting quite a bit bigger gaining almost 5-8kg over the course of lifting.
Anyway this guy has seen me when I first started and to me looks like he's made very little progress if any. Yesterday he joined me in an exercise and complemented my gains then started following what I was doing we made some small talk me trying to be friendly. In the conversation he gave me lots of bioscience tips which I tried to ignore. He told me about how taking protein makes him fat, you should only exercise one body part per workout and some other stuff like to do 20 reps on leg press..which I know not to be the best advice from browsing fitness and doing my own research. I tried explaining to him the concept of calorie counting and eating at a deficit while keeping protein levels high, I don't think he was listening or paid much attention.
Now I'm a lot younger than him being only 17 he looks maybe late 20's so he is less likely to listen to what I say, I told him I'm going to be doing shoulders tomorrow and then he said that we should both do back and shoulders. I don't want to workout with him as I've never seen him do a compound lift and those are key parts of my routine. I was in a hurry to get back home to study for an exam so just said yeah okay cya and left while nodding my head and leaving. I typically enjoy working out on my own as its somewhat therapeutic for me letting out any frustration. However I do somewhat regularly workout with some friends from my old highschool as a way to catch up.
I'm sure there's something simple I could say to get him to leave me alone. Sorry for the wall of text was trying to give some background info and explain it as best I can. | guy sees my gains joins my workout starts trying to teach me when he has not made any progress I was too friendly now he wants to workout and I don't wanna do his bioscience workout. |
t3_110yk9 | jobs | I quit from a job a few years ago, but HR records say I was fired. Is this possible? (x-post: self) | Hey Reddit! I'm a recent graduate and have been having troubles finding a job. I've even widened my search outside my home state and sent around 40 or so resumes for jobs from admin support to marketing but, still no luck. So in the middle of my predicament, I ran into an old co-worker and told me the company I used to work for is hiring. I thought I'd seen daylight because at this point, I just needed a job, a decent full time job. And even though this job had nothing to do with my major, it was still a full time job and it would have been more than enough to support me while I couldn't find a job in my field.
So, with haste, I sent in my resume and cover letter and waited for an interview. My co-worker told me things should be fine since I had quit voluntarily and left with good standings. I gave them a two-weeks notice and never, to my knowledge, had any quarrels with anyone. Well, a week later, they told me I wasn't eligible for re-hiring and when I asked why they told me it's because I was fired. I am very confused about this because I know for a fact that I had sent in my two-weeks notice and it was clear that I had quit on my own. I spoke to a supervisor and my manager then and we had an understanding it was voluntary (I mean one would assume because they both read my notice right in front of me).
Now this is where it got me. Their reasoning behind it is that my supervisor was already going to put the motion to fire me but then heard somehow that I was already getting ready to quit. Upon hearing about my plans, the motion was vacated and just waited for my departure instead. I never knew this until now. And clearly I'm puzzled as to how this is even possible. | A few years ago, I quit from a job voluntarily with a proper two weeks notice but today they are saying I was fired. Reason being, they were already gonna fire me anyway, but never found out about it until now. |
t3_3x6svb | relationships | My (16M) girlfriend (16M) isn't having sex until marriage. I don't have someone I can share my feelings/relate to. | Throwaway because, like all other throwaways, people I know might know my main. As it says in the title, my girlfriend (of 8 months. We'll call her Jane) is not having sex until marriage. This is because of her various Christian values. I am a Christian also but my values differ greatly.
I'm 100% fine with waiting for marriage to have sex. I support Jane's decision. I want her to have complete control over herself. But it is hard for me to see all the other couples around me going on, and ours staying right where it has been the past 8 months. I feel like we won't go anywhere at all until we get married.
The problem is, I have no one to share these feelings with. My best friend "gets more action" than I do, so he can't relate. I have told Jane. (We are very honest with each other) But everytime I do it just ends in her feeling bad and apologizing when she has nothing to apologize for. She feels like she lets me down all the time, and though I don't want her to feel bad, I also don't want to hide my emotions from her.
So my question here is. What do you guys think I should do? (Breaking up with Jane is out of the question) | Girlfriend is saving sex for marriage. I'm getting frustrated, and I'm not sure what to do without making her feel bad. |
t3_2gs9qd | relationship_advice | Crush on (21M) in class, me (20F). We hooked up once and hung out, not sure what to do now | So the semester just started and there's this stunningly attractive guy in my class... Like for once he's actually in my league. I notice we kind of gravitate toward each other and sit next to each other and start talking. He takes my number and asks me to go to the football game a couple days later. I say I can't go (truth). When he gets back he texts me and tries to meet up again so we do and we hit it off like tremendously and have this really romantic moment lying in the grass talking by the lake. We were both getting pretty turned on so we went back to his place to hook up and then he took me to get dinner after. We didn't have sex because I wanted to wait, but he wanted too so bad and said "another time then". Note: I felt gross because I was in gym attire and NOT prepared for hooking up aka shaving etc. so not sure if he was slightly turned off by any of that?
Fast forward to almost a week and he seems almost distant when I text him, I know he is busy because he's "pledging a frat" but surely if he wanted to have sex with me he would make the time. He does text me back but he rarely initiates except for class stuff. However when I see him in class he comes in and greets me with this huge smile every time and sits right next to me on purpose and acts like nothing. He is a happy go lucky type guy, friendly with everyone. Anyway, the new strategy of mine is just to not text him at all and try to get over it. I fully believe guys are the type that if they want you they will put in effort.
I know he isn't playing mind games - he's not that kind of guy I can tell. He just seems like...this is unintentional or subconscious behaviors. He's kind of innocent in that way.
I literally only want to have sex with this guy and spend time with him...I'm a commitmentphobe. :(
So is it played out or is there some way I can make this a hook up buddy? | I hooked up with a guy, we didn't have sex and now he seems kinda distant (but normal in person) but I still want to bang him. |
t3_2q1par | tifu | TIFU by getting scammed a knife that I worked for for a year. | TIFU: So today looked to be a bright day. I was trading up my skins for a first person shooter called Counter Strike: Global Offensive. Something I did in my free time with money I earned. I started a year ago collecting skins (cool patterns and artwork that are created by the community and put in game onto guns.) I was trying to get to the best skin in the game which are knife skins. They go for high prices and what not. So today I finally worked my way to that summit. I traded for a cool knife and had reached my goal that I set out to reach a year ago. It was awesome. So I decided to try and trade up more. See if I could get higher up on the totem pole. I got an offer that was really nice and started to talk to this guy. He seemed legit and wanting to not scam me. As we began to trade, he switched his deal up and without seeing it, I accepted the trade. I went from a $72 skin all the way down to an $11 skin. I was devastated. 20 minutes after I reached a big personal goal, I came crashing down to nothing. I was devastated.
I'm sharing my story to tell people to not be selfish and scam people out of their hard, earned things. Please be kind to others. Thanks. | Got a knife in counter strike that i worked to get for a year, 20 minutes later, lost it to some scam. Now feeling like crap. |
t3_1qc85h | pettyrevenge | Try to rush us out? Guess we'll take our sweet time leaving. (aka the time my uncle finally spoke up) | Every couple of weeks, my family gets together for dim sum. Occasionally we try out different restaurants, and of course, if we like the service, we consider returning in the future. This was not one of those times.
Apparently the restaurant was to host a wedding banquet shortly after we had arrived. We noticed right away that they were short on supplies - for example we ordered lobster but only got about half the number of the little forks to eat them with as we had people at the table.
As we began to finish our food, waiters began to try cleaning up our table *while we were still sitting there*. Eventually, somebody pulled a teacup straight out of my uncle's hand. Normally, my uncle is a very quiet guy, but I guess this was the straw that broke the camel's back.
He went on a rage about having his tea swiped from him - he was clearly not done drinking it. The person who took it from then tried to apologize and put the teacup back on the table in front of him. To which my uncle yelled "I saw your fingers go into this tea when you took it! I demand a new cup!"
My uncle's request was granted, nobody dared to take anyone else's teacup away, and we decided to take as long as we felt necessary quietly sipping away. | A lack of planning on your part does not justify rushing out your customers before they're ready. They will probably not come back. |
t3_2tmfag | tifu | TIFU by losing a game of toilet tetris | This one goes back to when I had surgery to get my appendix removed.
The antibiotics I was given during my stay at the hospital and at home caused severe constipation. As such, it was perpetuated by the fact that I had my abdominal region sliced into (about a 2" slice) and could not flex my abs to 'push' a crap out.
During my 6~ day recovery I literally just sat on the couch and ate, trying to get my strength back. I got a bit worried at day 4, I was quite a healthy eater and was well aware of my daily (sometimes 2x) bowel movements. I decided to take some laxative chocolates, 2 servings, before bed. The next day, nothing. More frustrated, bloated, and full of food, I eat the entire box of laxative chocolates (16 more servings) before bed.
The following day I am awaken by a sore neck from sleeping on the reclining sofa. I take a sip of my coffee and realize that something is very wrong. I rush to the toilet.
What followed was the most despicable, heinous, abomination I have witnessed, and can only be aptly described by quoting Lovecraft :
"The Thing cannot be described -- there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. A mountain walked or stumbled. God!... the Thing of the idols, the green, sticky spawn of the stars, had awakened to claim his own"
You know when you are playing Tetris and get a bit distracted, next thing you know you are full to the top, but pieces are still dropping? Well, I lost. Game over. I won't even get into the chore that was getting that mess down the toilet. | I got surgery, constipation, almost a week of not shitting I desperately eat a box of laxative chocolates, play toilet tetris, and lost. |
t3_1eavpj | relationships | Should I [21F] insist my boyfriend [20M] talk to someone? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half. I've always been a little concerned over his low self-esteem. He frequently calls himself fat and ugly but has admitted that he does believe me when I contradict him and call him handsome, good-looking, and, well, he doesn't believe me when I call him fit because he's working towards a six-pack and doesn't have one yet.
Part of my concern comes from his family. His brother killed himself a little over three years ago, which he's sad about. However, he holds a lot of rage directed towards his deceased brother's girlfriend, who he blames for his brother's death.
About a month ago, he found out that he wasn't accepted to an internship he really wanted. He was absolutely crushed and talked all weekend about how he just wanted to die because he didn't get the one spot offered.
At that time, I told him I wanted him to talk to a school counselor. He laughed it off as if I was making a joke. Now he's getting angry and depressed again because he thinks he'll be getting a B in one of his courses from this term.
I'd suggest he talk to his pastor at home, who he is very close to, but his pastor moved out of the country. I can't suggest the counselor again with summer break starting within days and his family doesn't have the money or insurance to allow him to see a therapist. Is there any place/thing/ritual I can suggest to help him? | I think my boyfriend of nearly two years needs to talk to a professional about depression and possible rage issues but can't afford it and doesn't feel comfortable talking to a stranger. What else can I suggest? |
t3_1h4d6j | relationships | [m 29] I need some advice especially from women | Here's the thing
I left my family at the age of 21. haven't spoken to my parents and my elder sister since then. I'm 28 years now.Growing up me and my sister were close. I never went to her wedding even though she wanted me. I didn't go because my dad was going to be there. That was the last time we ever spoke. She has a kid now.
My wife passed away 9 months ago and I can sense I am losing my mind and my overall behavior is damaging in the long run. I am a functioning alcoholic but to tell you the truth I don't care at all.
My wife wanted me to make amends with my family especially my sister. My question to all of you is how will you react if you were in my sister's shoes and I would have tried to make contact after such a long time. I don't want to tell her that I've lost my wife straightaway. She doesn't even know that I got married. I want to tell hew about my wife eventually but I don't want it to be the origin of our conversation even if the whole thing doesn't play out. | haven't seen my sis in 7 years. Missed her wedding. Wife died want to talk to her. She doesn't even know I was married |
t3_2x94yg | relationships | My (17f) ex boyfriend (19m) still lives with me and is becoming wildly inappropriate. How do I get him out? | My mom let him move in after his mother kicked him out. He quickly became a nuisance and refused to even look for a job, so I broke up with him.
The breakup sent him into depression, and now he apparently does nothing but cry, play video games, and bother my mom. I live in two different houses so lately I've been choosing to stay at my father's house instead. While I don't have to deal with him, my poor mother does. He frequently comes to her late at night to cry about his problems and complain about the way I treat him (which he says is "antagonistic"). My mom works the night shift and needs her sleep. He doesn't seem to care.
His most recent talk with my mom ended with him going into the bathroom and trying to kill himself with a pair of damn safety scissors. My mom was LIVID. She's been working her ass off to fix up the house we just moved in and not only has he been holding her back with all the mess he's made, he then tries to go and pull that kind of crap.
My mom is giving him until the end of April to move out, but I need him out immediately. I don't want to have to deal with this kind of thing at 17. I'm at my wit's end. Is there any way I can convince him to leave, or get someone to force him out? I really need some help here. | Ex boyfriend lives in my room and is constantly bothering my mom with his problems over our breakup. Recently tried to kill himself with scissors. How can I get him to leave? |
t3_3j4i34 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my friend?? [25 F] she only asks me for things. How do I tell her to stop without offending her? | I'm awful at these and this is my first post, so please bear with me.
Ok, I met this girl back in high school. We were friendly toward each other until we graduated. After high-school we kept in touch and eventually we got together (for one night, giving her my virginity T_T). After that I was avid about dating her, but she said she didn't see me as relationship material. Honestly I may have said some things that might have creeped her out? (I have no experience with women.) I kept trying for a couple of weeks and I came to realize she truly has no interest in dating me.
Now, on to my problem.
She says we are friends, but only contacts me when she needs something or she calls and complains about her relationship with her baby daddy. This irritates me to no end and I have told her how this makes me feel. Whenever I bring that up she throws the fact that all I have ever done with our friendship is use her for sexual gratification.
Am I in the wrong feeling this way? I think I'm just gonna start ignoring her. I was wondering if you guys have any other ideas? | Gave my virginity to a girl I knew from high school. After that she friend zoned me and now only contacts me for favors or advice. How do I get her to stop without her guilt tripping me? |
t3_1egz3a | relationships | My [16/F] parents made me brake up with my [28/M] boyfriend. | I had a serious relationship with him and I told some of my close friends. They disapproved and thought he was a creeper and that the relationship was unhealthy. I didn't care because I loved him and I really felt that he cares about me but one of my "friends" told a teacher and he had called my parents. They have forbidden me to ever contact him again and told him to stay away from me if he doesn't want to end up in prison. I've tried to make them understand that what we had was real but they wouldn't listen, they took every possible way of communication away from me. My father has become overprotective and always wants to know where I am. I hate it. We fight over it everyday and I feel like he doesn't fucking get it. I miss him so much.. I feel like my life has become empty and boring and I cry over the smallest things, just because I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like he was the only one who really made me feel safe and loved. Everything felt okay and perfect when I was with him and not having him in my life anymore just makes me feel broken. Everybody is saying that he was taking advantage of me and that there is something wrong with him. I understand and in some way I know he was but I still want to be with him. It's weird and fucked up and I don't understand. I feel stupid and naive but in love at the same time. | My parents made me brake up with my boyfriend and I feel horrible even though he was 'taking advantage of me'. I think I still love him and I don't know what to do. |
t3_3ex21i | relationships | Me [23 M] and some guy I've been talking to [19 M] broke up with me after two dates. | So I've been talking to this guy that I met on Okcupid, (I'm gay, he's pansexual) for like a month over text. We met up at a park and hung out and had an awesome first date. We met up for the second time but I guess things weren't as great as the first time since I got nervous and was kinda awkward in a way. He broke up with me through texting but he said we could still be friends and stuff, meaning that we can't really meet up but he still responds to my messages and stuff. I have a small glimpse of hope that something could happen, I just wouldn't know which direction to go and I would hate to throw out an opportunity like this just because of one bad date. | guy broke up with me after two dates. Is there any way to give it another go if we still talk to each other? |
t3_gzew3 | relationships | I feel like his mother, not his girlfriend. Is there anything I can do? | We are both 25 and have been together for almost 4 years. We have been living together for about 2 years.
I told him before we moved in together that splitting the house-hold chores was very important to me. My last relationship of 4+ years ended because I was the only one working, cooking and cleaning all while going to school full time. We have now been living together for about two years and he has never done his own laundry and only does the dishes if I ask him to (and even then it's about a 50/50 chance it will actually get done). I am sick of my apartment being disgusting and I can only do some much since I am physically disabled. I have talked to him about this multiple times and nothing changes. I sometimes feel I am being taken advantage of, other times I feel I am expecting too much and should just be happy someone is willing to put up with me (I have gotten much better and no longer need meds but do suffer from occasional depression and social anxiety). I know talking to him wont help, I have tried that many times and he has made it clear he does not care if the place is a mess (he will refuse to clean HIS cat's litter even when the cat starts shitting outside his box). Am I really expecting too much or should I just deal with it for the sake of our relationship? | I feel like I am the only responsible one in the relationship. Is it too much to expect someone to pick up after themselves or in all relationships is there one responsible partner? |
t3_4lqu8g | relationships | Me [20m] and my girlfriend [18f] of 2.5 years are mutually breaking up and don't know what to say. | So me and my girlfriend of 2.5 years are about to end things this weekend. Without writing out a long message I'll just give a quick run down. She is moving across the country and I just finished my schooling and can't follow her. So we decided that we should end things so that we can hopefully be friends later in life. Now before you ask I moved to a town that was 5 hour away from her and we couldn't handle that amount of distance, it just drove us further away from each other and made us almost hate each other. We worked things out and when I moved back we got back together knowing that we would have to break up soon again. So we talked about it and figured this weekend would be the best for both of us. Now my question is what is appropriate to say when we are saying our goodbyes? What should be said to her family? They have been very supportive of me and I will miss them. I'm not very good at situations like this and usually say the wrong thing at the wrong time. So any advice would be great. | me and gf of 2 years are breaking up mutually and would like advice on what to say and how to handle the situation. |
t3_2bb3e6 | tifu | TIFU by trying to deposit $9,900 cash | So, I sold my car yesterday and was promptly handed a huge stack of cash totaling $12,500. I only took $9,900 to the bank today to avoid getting flagged by the IRS (apparently depositing over $10,000 in cash puts you on some weird list). Naturally I'm a bit nervous handling his much cash and still kinda worried about getting in trouble with the IRS, so when I walk into the bank and see my friend Carl sitting behind his desk I approach him to ask for help.
Me: "Hey, Carl I have a bunch of cash in this envelope, you mind helping with a deposit?"
Carl looks at the female coworker sitting across from him, wide-eyed with a huge grin on his face playfully responds, "You selling drugs again?"
Now I'm already really nervous about this large envelope of cash in my hand, but I decide to reply with a spirited joke. Maybe it's because I've been reading the book "Middle Sex" by Jeffrey Eugenides (a book about a hermaphroditic male with ambiguous sexual organs) or maybe I'm just a freaken nut job, but what I said and the way I responded are in no way acceptable.
With a serious and straight face I quickly and apparently loudly respond, "No, some researchers took a few pictures of my genitals," I'm now waving my hand over my crotch, "apparently they're medically significant."
I don't smile. Before I realize what I've said it was too late. I could feel my face turn red. Their mouths drop. The people in the adjacent cubicle get quite and begin to stare. I try to repair the damage that I've done, but no words come out of my mouth, nothing but nonsensical sounds. Carl quickly jumps out of his chair and guides me to a teller's booth. I look back at the several bankers that are now staring as Carl leads me in the opposite direction – it's too late, in their eye's I'm already a hermaphrodite. | Went to the bank with a huge envelope of cash, everyone at my bank now thinks I have ambiguous/deformed genitals. |
t3_venee | AskReddit | I found something disturbing about a co-worker. What would you do? | Hi reddit. This is a really peculiar situation. I've been working at my job for almost two years. It's a retail position for one of those giant warehouses, similar to Sam's Club. I was hired as seasonal and was able to retain a permanent position with hard work, diligence, and dedication. This is a large corporation known for treating it's employees well, and I'd like to try to get myself promoted and make a career out of it. One of my seasonal "classmates" has been promoted and is regularly pointed out as an example of how to move up. I was discussing what I need to do with my manager, and she said "look at XXXX, he applied for every opening that was available, and interviewed every time he could. When the seasonal front end supervisor position opened up, they took a chance and now he's a permanent front end supe." I hadn't really interacted with XXXX other than exchanging pleasantries and so on but when I asked my manager what he did before starting here, evidently he used to work as a VP at Bank of America.
I thought that it was somewhat weird to go from a VP position (which I'd assume would be a six figure job at least) to working an entry level retail gig, but it explained why he was able to get promoted so quickly. Usually it takes a few years to get promoted to supervisor where I work and I figured that upper level business experience helped XXXX tremendously.
So, curious, I decided to google him and see if there were articles in Forbes, WSJ, or wherever else. Nope. However, there were a bunch of articles about a guy with the same name, in the same area, who was a high school teacher who resigned for inappropriate behavior with a student. I clicked on one link, and I'll be damned if it wasn't XXXX in court, looking remorseful as all hell. Oddly enough there weren't concrete details although the news source was a national syndicate (NBC.) Apparently he had sex with one of his students, after she turned 18, and was convicted of a misdemeanor and sentenced to three years probation.
I don't think mentioning this could have any good come of it, but it'd love to hear other opinions and stories. | Found out rising star co-worker resigned from his former job as a high school teacher after inappropriate behavior with a student. |
t3_3am3yl | relationships | I (34F) think my husband's (35M) weight loss strategy is a really bad idea. | My husband (together about 10 years) is about 5'10" and his weight has always been between 170 and 195. He decided in the last month that he really wants to get in better shape, and at first I was all for it! He started to count calories and work out for 30-40 minutes every day.
But things very quickly got, in my opinion, out of hand. He decided that to lose weight faster, he would just eat the minimum possible number of calories every day. He eats nothing except for maybe some celery, carrots, or grapefruit until dinner, when he allows himself to have one full meal of whatever we decide to cook that night.
I've tried to tell him that I think this is (a) unhealthy and (b) unsustainable and he just keeps insisting that it's working well and when he gets to his goal weight he'll stop.
Should I just let this go and let him do what he wants? Or is there another way I should approach this with him to show him that this is not a good way to lose weight? | Husband is trying to lose weight by starving himself until dinner every night. I don't think this is a good idea but he swears it's working therefore it's okay. |
t3_1k2rx0 | relationships | Just a sad, hopeless story about a dude[23] and a girl[21]. No advice required. | Dude [then 21] moves into a dorm with 2 other dudes. Dude meets gay-roommate-dude's female friend [then 18] but doesn't think much of her. About a month into semester, some other dude moves into empty room next to dude's. New dude and girl eventually meet, hit it off, and start dating. Girl hangs around shared dorm space a lot with boyfriend and dude starts to hang with them on occasion. Eventually, dude realizes that he misjudged girl, that she's a really cool chick, and starts to hang around them more so he can spend time with girl. Dude gets feelings for girl, but can't do shit but try to fall asleep to sounds of girl getting fucked every night. Boyfriend becomes abusive asshole and eventually knocks up girl. Dude gets own apartment. Girl breaks up with boy soon after.
Dude[22] keeps in touch with girl and invites her to hang out. Dude asks girl out but she see's him as just a friend. Girl dates new guy and thinks he's different. New guy lies, cheats on her with multiple girls, and treats her like shit. Dude[23] helps girl realize she is dating same men and how to better weed them out. Dude knows he is right man, but must stay silent. | A sad, hopeless story about a dude that likes a girl, but is just a friend in her eyes. No advice required. |
t3_3lpv1z | relationship_advice | [16/m] Not sure where, and when is the best for breaking up with my girlfriend [15/f]. | I've often heard "breaking up over text is just rude", and I understand why, but my other options don't seem that great either.
The best time I can break up with here during school is at lunch, which she has 2 classes after. And knowing her, she would try to get to the classes, and that would just cause unwanted attention, since she'd likely be crying among other things. As well, there's no entirely private place to break up with her in the school.
If I go over her house just to break up, given her relationship with her parents, the parents would likely get involved before I manage to leave, **and** I'd have to explain the situation to the person driving me (I can't drive on my own yet).
I know I need to just suck up the consequences, since I'm the one who chose to do it, but I'd like help figuring out what's the best way to do this, to minimize the emotional harm on both parties, and hopefully getting as little amount of other people involved as possible. | Should I break up with her 3 hours before school ends, over text, or go out of my way to her house, and get likely both our parents involved in the process? |
t3_3yzzoy | relationships | [30 M] married, attracted to [30 F] colleague | We both joined on same day, 5 years back ! We both were into relationships at the time and then no one was single at the same time. However, we always enjoyed each other's company. We also used to go out a lot, though in groups. After, couple of years I got married and then, she got married after another year. Both of our spouses know each other. We meet daily in office and talk about a lot of stuff. We share great chemistry, both of us know, that we are attracted to each other but we never talked about it. We flirted before marriage but nothing more. Now, this is affecting me mentally, I am not able to focus at work and when I am home, she gets into my thoughts. I try not to contact/talk to her but after few days, one of us would break the cycle. I don't see any of us switching jobs in the near future. How do I get out of this situation ? | How do I get over my female colleague, whom I know and attracted to, from last 5 years ? It is affecting my personal/professional life. |
t3_1e0ene | relationship_advice | Is it worth getting back together with an ex? | Basically my boyfriend (19m) broke up with me (19f) about a week ago. We dated just over a year and a half. Loosing him has been one of the hardest things I've gone through in my entire life. The reason we broke up was basically he didn't like the person I become when I moved to university. We did a long distance relationship while he stayed back home , and hey it worked out. But as soon as I come back home he breaks up with me because he said he's given me lots of time to get over his past and there has bee too many bad times over the good.
I don't see it this way at all. I see more good than bad and I think after everything we've been through in a year and a half it's worth giving it another shot. Right now he wants space and time to think about if he wants to get back together with me or not and I'm afraid he's never coming back. I know I made mistakes with not letting go of his past and we fought a lot at one point but I don't think our relationship is worth just giving up on. He says he still loves me but him breaking up with me absolutely broke my heart and crushed me. Something I considering if it's even worth another shot, risking my heart being broken all over again. We are each others first loves and I wish it could have stayed that way forever. | boyfriend of year and a half broke up with me. I really want to get back together and feel the reason why we broke up is something we can work out because we've been through worse. |
t3_197cay | weddingplanning | Friends are getting married in May. Bride-to-be asked for my address in November, but nothing has come. | Two of my friends from college are getting married in May. We haven't been in too much communication since everyone graduated (we went to opposite sides of the country), besides occasional facebook comments and such.
In November, I had a brief text conversation with the bride-to-be to congratulate her on her engagement, and a couple days later she asked me for my address, which I gave her.
I haven't received anything in the mail, and now we're getting pretty close to the wedding (it's in May). I'm not sure what I should do. I don't want to be presumptuous; I know that asking for my address is not an invitation or a guarantee of an invitation, and I understand constructing guest lists can be very challenging. On the other hand, there may have been a clerical error or something.
So I'm not sure what my best course of action is. Could you please give me some advice? Thank you for reading! | College friends are getting married soon and asked for my address in November, but I haven't received/heard anything since. What should I do? |
t3_19exka | relationship_advice | (20/M) Friend at the moment (17/F) is confusing me. | Alright, we don't have a relationship right now and she actually is in a relationship with someone else at the moment. We talk a lot online and when we hang out in person we really get along, we really click, but she is very strange... She is very depressed in some ways and she knows it and she has told me some very strange ideas she has, e.g. She doesn't want to live a long life, she thinks sex is super boring so she never does it. We rarely talk about me and her as a thing since she has a bf and I don't want her to cheat and I don't either. She talks about how she likes her boyfriend, but he does nothing for her, he didn't even get her a valentines day present. I have known her a less amount of time than him, yet I have hung out with her more. I feel like I can help her and make her happy, but she is stubborn and doesn't like a lot of change. I want a relationship with her, but I don't know how to approach her about it. Please let me know any advice you have, I really would appreciate it. | I like a girl who is depressed and who has a bf that doesn't appreciate her. Not sure what to do. |
t3_3pkr6d | relationships | Stuck in the middle | I (25F) am best friends with my brother-in-law (30m). Him and my sister (32f) have been fighting a lot lately. Since he's my best friend he talks to me about everything, like most people would with their friends. I don't take sides, I just listen.
Now, everyone in my family knows were best friends and talk to each other about everything, it's not usually a problem. But the problems are getting worse and my BiL is trying to get my sister to understand that he wants to leave.
She doesn't understand why he wants to leave thinking everything had gotten better, when in reality they just hadn't been talking about anything.
My sister knows that were really close so is now talking to me about all the problems, which wouldn't be a problem, but last night I was up until 2 in the morning basically sending messages back and forth between the two of them. She called me and asked me to call and check on him, then after 2 hours on the phone with him he asked me to call and check on her.
I don't want to be in the middle of this, I don't want to have to deal with the fall out if they do get a divorced. I will feel like its my fault, like I should have been able to help them work it out, I know that there isn't anything I can do, he is ready to just walk away and she wants to work it out.
How do I nicely tell them that I love both of them, but I can't be their middle man? | my sister and her husband have made me the middle man in thier relationship and I don't want to do it anymore |
t3_1foa5v | relationships | How do I tell my husband that I really don't want to celebrate my birthday? 26F, 27M | My husband and I have been together 5+ years. My birthday is coming up next week and I really do not want to celebrate it. I know that he has already bought me gifts, and he has hinted to doing something with our friends and also taking me out somewhere. I'm going through a lot right now(childhood trauama and family issues which I am dealing with in therapy) and I just don't feel up to a birthday right now. I'm usually not a big birthday person(I don't like being the center of attention), but with everything I've got going on I just really don't even want to think about celebrating anything.
The thing is he seems really excited about my birthday and I don't want to disappoint him. I have already said things like I don't want gifts and that he can just bring me home dinner that night if he wants, but it's done nothing to deter him. I don't want him to think I don't appreciate whatever gifts or plans are in store, I just don't want to end up going somewhere with him and being totally miserable the whole time. I am trying really hard but I just started medication a few weeks ago and I have good days and really, really terrible days. How can I let him down gently about my birthday? And what should I do if he's already made plans that can't be canceled? | I don't want to celebrate my birthday. My husband loves birthdays and giving me gifts. How do I tell him I do not want to celebrate? |
t3_49i4e1 | relationships | My (18F) abusive uncle (50M) is coming to live with us again and I don't know what to do? | Life has been very hard on my brothers (17/10) and my mom (40)... We left our abusive father because he would constantly hit my mom and drink a lot.
My mom was a SAHM and never really worked before so to escape my father we had to live with my grandmother and our two uncles.
One of the uncles was our father figure basically and we loved him. But, he got a girlfriend and moved out to live with her... So we were left with our other uncle that would say incomfortable things to us, would verbally abuse us and at one time... He even hit my mother, gave her a black eye and a broken nose.
My grandmother said that if she went to the police, they would kick us out so for our sake, my mother remained quiet.
A few months past and this abusive uncle left to Brazil because he found a job there. My mother started going to night school to get her HS diploma and got a job at a field she loved... She got enough money, to find a lawyer and finally divorce my dad and sue him for child support.
Things seem to go great, we still live in our grandmother house and we made it our home where we had happy moments, finally...
But today, my grandmother got a call from our abusive uncle saying that he's coming to Portugal (where we live) because he got fired and needs to come here to sort some papers and stay "a few days"...
I'm a mess since I heard his coming back, I can't stop crying and having panic attacks... I've told my mother via text that he's coming but she hasn't replied yet... I feel like everything is falling down and I don't know what to do... | My abusive uncle that hit my mom is coming to live with us again maybe and we don't get a say on this... We don't know what to do?? |
t3_17eh2m | AskReddit | Reddit, I think I lost the girl I love, what should I do? | This girl (we'll call her Sally) and I have been talking for te past couple months. The only problem is that she lives 40 minutes away. It sounds crazy and I've questioned myself over why I'm flirting with her, but I really love her. We've become really close, and I really enjoy her. A way we talk a lot is through Twitter, and she often tweets how she feels. (She can be brutally honest, although its a nice way to see if you've messed up) The other day, she tweeted "Wow, I'm in love with this kid." So full of worry/being half tired, I texted her saying "So who was that tweet about? :) hahaha, sorry Im tired" She responsed "Haha, goodnight Mr_Narwhals" I texted her back apologizing again and she said don't worry about it. She hasn't been texting me as much, and when she does text she seems like she doesn't want to talk. I'm panicking, and I'm pretty sure I fucked up.
Should I let go or keep trying for her? Please and thank you Reddit. | Texted something stupid to the girl I love, she's acte different ever since. I feel like its my fault. Should I try to apologize and get her back or move on? |
t3_4xg0e0 | relationships | I [22 M] started dating my house mate [23 AFAB gender neutal] after living at their apartment for 2 months, any thoughts or advice? [relationships] | So I moved into a new apartment recently, with someone I met through my school's LGBT club. At the time I didn't really know them very well and I was looking for a cheaper place because the rent at my previous place went up 300 dollars. After living in proximity for a couple months we started to really hit it off and next thing I know we're passionately making out and dry humping in their room.
We're both socially awkward geeks that haven't had a lot of experience dating and we have the strange situation of being locked into a lease for the next year despite just starting our relationship.
The other details of our living situation are as follows:
* We are currently sleeping in different rooms
* There is another roommate (24, M) here that has his own room
* A fourth roommate (Age unknown, presumably mid 20s, F) is moving in next week that is currently planning on sharing a room with our third roommate
* The fourth roommate is apparently a christian and republican according to her facebook. I haven't talked to her and I don't know what she's gonna think about having to share a room with the third roommate (24 M) while me and my partner are dating.
* My partner's on the pill
* We have not had sex yet, but came close to it. I said I wasn't ready yet and that I wanted to slow down a bit. Not sure when would be the right time in our relationship to do this. | Started dating a roommate and kinda anxious about the prospect of living together so soon. Also don't know how we're gonna end up diving rooms with other house mates. |
t3_1hwifx | relationships | Afraid of commitment [19m] [personal] | I have been single since December after my GF of just over a year broke up with me. In the relationship I had low confidence and was probably mildly depressed for some of it (but not at the end).
I changed dramatically in the months following and feel much better about myself in general now. I felt much more confident and began dating a couple months later, but none of the dates went anywhere, mainly because I quit trying despite the girls interest.
Since the last date I have struck up conversations with many girls in coffee shops and such, and occasionally I will get their phone number. But I have yet to call any of the girls mainly because I lost interest in them after a couple days. I didn't ask for the number of the last girl I talked to because I didn't want to have any pressure.
I keep telling myself that I will meet the 'right girl' but I know this will not happen unless I make it. I am afraid to commit to these girls not for fear of rejection but because I don't know what to do if it works out, despite wanting a relationship.
How do I get out of this rut of non-commitment? I don't think I can give a relationship 100% until I have my mind completely in it. | I am afraid to commit to girls despite wanting to be in a relationship. My fear is keeping me from actually meet potential girlfriends. |
t3_2ox9w1 | tifu | TIFU by leaving lunch bags in a locker for 3 years | Alright... This is a very weird story so sit back and get ready...
OK.. I am a senior now at a pretty big high school. Almost everyday after school my friends and I stay after to play basketball or dodgeball in the gym.. like literally 4/5 days of the week. When we were freshmen, there was a whole extra room that wasnt being used that had wooden lockers in it. Being stupid we decided to put our lunch bags in there and bring our school bags with us to the gym. So the day went on as normal and we carried out the rest of our day. We wound up leaving our lunches in the locker (with full meals in them), and went home. only to forget about them...
FLASH FOWARD 3 Years ---
I just got home from school a couple hours ago and i cannot stop laughing. It was something like two weeks after we left our lunches they closed down the room to repaint the lockers and the walls in the spare room where we kept our lunch bags. Since this was in the freshman lockers area we never went back and just expected someone else to throw them out. As to our knowledge, the lockers and walls were repainted within a couple days and nothing happened... WRONG!
Being as the lockers are made of wood all around it turns out that A LOT of rats and other rodents made their way through the walls and the surrounding lockers. When the custodian opened the all the lockers and left them open overnight, i guess the rats were tired of being locked up all these years. So we come into school this morning and there are literally hundreds of rats everywhere! running around the school and everything! the school had to evacuated and everyone went home today!
there was rat "business" everywhere and all the floors are messed up. | My idiot friends and i left our lunches in wooden lockers as freshmen, left them there for years, and now we're seniors and there are rats everywhere in our school. |
t3_45uakb | relationships | I [22F] have a fwb [35M] who has a girlfriend who I think is controlling and I don't know how to end it. | So I've been sleeping with this dude for the past 2 months and have always known that he has had a girlfriend. I thought I was okay with it but recently it has really started to bother me. It's a long distance relationship so they aren't ever physically together, but I'm pretty sure that they spent Christmas/New Years together and he recently visited her but was texting me the whole time. Nothing along the lines of "I miss you" (but he did that over Christmas/New Years when we were apart for 2 weeks) but just silly pictures and such.
Anyway, I have recently been starting to feel guilty about everything and am just realizing that I want more but I know that won't happen, and honestly I don't want more from him specifically.
It also seems like he's starting to become more controlling - every time I mention cutting my hair he never wants me to cut it shorter than a certain length, he texts multiple times if I don't respond right away, etc.
We have great sex and I genuinely enjoy his company, but I know there's a limit to everything we do. We went to a movie once and he put a lot of distance between us and was upset when I ran into a friend there and genuinely made me feel like crap.
I think I want to end the relationship but I'll have to be around him (we work together) for at least the next 6 months. How do I do this without making it awkward/uncomfortable? | I want to break-up with my fwb who has a gf, but will have to be around him for at least 6 more months. How can I do this easily? |
t3_oknlc | BreakUps | Should I have given him a second chance because he gave me one? | Reddit, I need your help. I need an outside perspective. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months a few days ago because I caught him flirting with a girl online. He told her he was single and made arrangements to meet up with her. However, he was outed of his wrongdoings before he got the chance to go on the date. He told me that he would have never gone through with it and that it was just "flirting that got out of hand."
Even though he didn't physically cheat on me, I feel so betrayed, Reddit. He says that he deserves a second chance because he gave me one. He took me back after I broke up with him via text message last month (which was cowardly and disrespectful, I know). I was having a very hard time with the long distance and I felt like we had major communication problems.
At that time, I was set on moving across the country to go to school in the fall. We had a fight which ultimately led to my rash decision that our relationship wasn't worth it anymore. I felt like he didn't trust me and it would have never worked out with us being thousands of miles apart.
A few days later, I realized I was stupid and that I couldn't imagine being without him. He took me back but it hasn't been the same since I "dumped him like he was nothing."
He says that he loves me and that he only needs one more chance to prove that he is the one for me. Even though we only dated for 4 months, I am so in love with him. I was in a 5 year relationship before him and my connection with that guy came no where close to my connection with my recent ex. He believes that what I did is just as bad as what he did so that merits me giving him a second chance.
As cliché as this sounds, my heart is telling me that he is telling the truth and he would have never met up with the girl, but my head is telling me that I shouldn't trust him because he still cheated nonetheless. | Broke up with boyfriend because I caught him cheating. Should I give him a second chance because he gave me one? |
t3_3vwrsg | personalfinance | Car and Insurance Advice | Backstory is that I am 19 years old and I am ready to live on my own. My mother gave me a year after getting out of high school to determine what I would like to do and I have made a decision. I have a job working upwards of 30 Hours a week at $9/hr. My next step is to get a car and a place to stay. I found a place to rent at $525 a month. I have absolutely no idea on how much I should be looking to spend on a new car or how financing it will work. Same goes for Insurance. I need to open a bank account as well. I don't know if this is even a logical step to be taking at this time, but I would like some assistance. High-school never taught me how to deal with this, but thank God I know how to take a derivative of log function. -_ | 1) How can I go about financing a car? 2) How much a month should I budget towards a used car payment? 3) How and what type of bank account should I open? |
t3_2cmuqb | relationships | My Girlfriend is going away for college and we don't know what to do. | I am going to college close to home (18) and my girlfriend (18) is going to college in NY (far away from home). We tried to break up about a week ago and had no communication for about 3 days, but we ended up texting each other and finding out that we both missed each other like crazy and had a very rough few days after the break up.
I've been dating her for about 6 months and I really don't want to lose her. Long distance is not appealing to either one of us and I know I cannot do an open relationship because I get jealous. We are truly stuck.
To the people who have been in my situation or a similar one, what did you guys do?...Is there any other way besides long distance/ open relationship? What else can we do? Breaking up would be the last and hardest option (not considering long distance or open). | Girlfriend (18) leaving for college...don't want to break up...looking for other options besides long distance and open relationship |
t3_2gc6uz | relationships | Happy hour with my [25 M] co-workers including one I am interested in [23F]. Advice, etiquette tips? | I have a happy hour coming up next week with my coworker, Sally, and a few of other older coworkers.
I am interested in Sally. We talk mostly every day at work, online messaging. She tells me private things about her life, but is overall pretty antisocial. From what I can tell she only has a couple of close friends in our area, and does not get out much. We text occasionally.
We have built quite the rapport online, but don't talk exceedingly much in person. Occasionally we will have lunch alone together in the caf, but always at my request. She is also socially awkward girl, going on 10 minute rants about things that most people wouldn't talk about, though I guess that is part of her charm to me.
She has stated to me in the past that she is "fine" being single. She has never mentioned any potential men to me, and it does not seem that she is actively looking.
She was very excited about the idea of the happy hour, even though she does not really talk to the other people who are going.
I don't really hang out with coworkers that much, so I am kind of looking for advice on the best way to handle this situation, especially in regards to escalating things with Sally. Is it overly inappropriate to be flirty? If things go well, does this seem like an appropriate time to ask her out on a date sometime after the fact? Any other advice you can think.
Additionally, I think if she denied my advances, I would probably be friendly, but not really pursue our budding friendship further. If she is looking to be friends, is that unfair on my part? | I am going to a small happy hour next week, including a coworker I am interested in. Tips on keeping it appropriate, but leaving things open. Potentially asking her for real date in the future. |
t3_2o1sb6 | relationships | Did my girlfriend [32 F] put any effort getting me [26 M] my birthday present? | We have been together for almost a year. We live together now and we are serious about our relationship.
Yesterday, it was my birthday and as a gift she gave me a card and told me that she would pay for my ski lessons. I never skied before, but was planning to learn this winter. I already planned everything for my ski, I bought all my gears and also planned with whom I would take lessons. On my birthday she gave me a card and told me that she would pay for my ski lessons. She told me that it is really hard to shop for me that's why she didn't get me a gift. The way I see it, she didn't put any effort to find me a gift. A month back we shopped for her 3 friends birthday presents and she was able to pick 3 gifts in a day. I think she should be able to find me one gift at least.
It was her birthday 4 months back and I bought her two dresses and a book. She gets compliments from her friends every time she wears any of the dresses. I see this as me putting effort to buy something for her that she will like. I also buy things for her that I find randomly while I shop for myself.
What upsets me is that, she was kept telling me days before that we should do something for my birthday. But, we didn't do anything and she gave me a card and paying for ski lessons as a gift.
When I look for gifts for her, I try to find something that she would like to have it but she cannot go out and figure out by herself that she would want that.
One more thing, she has not got me any gift ever. I was expecting she would do something different for my birthday and put some effort in getting me a bithday present. | I am not expecting her to buy me gifts now and then, but I was expecting that she would put some extra effort in my birthday present. Is feeling disappointed appropriate for me? |
t3_e6r85 | AskReddit | Reddit, I had surgery on my shoulder and now it sounds like a door hinge that needs to be oiled. | On 9/9 I had surgery on my shoulder to fix a [tear in the labrum] After surgery all seamed well until I was finally able to pull my arm out of the sling (about 5 weeks later). Now I have an audible creaky noise when I move it around, my bicep hurts a bit after flexing it a few times and I can actually FEEL the tendon moving rubbing something.
When I told my doctor this and he finally heard it, he had no answers for the cause. He pushed all over the shoulder while I was flexing it to try to get the noise to stop, but it didn't. He explained that it could be swelling and it would probably go away. I returned last Monday with the same problem and he told me "in my 23 years of experience, I have never heard anything like this, I really do not know what this is at all". Immediately I requested an MRI, and had one the very next morning. Last Friday I saw him again to go over the results, he couldn't find anything on the MRI other than a tad bit of fluid that he expected (My recovery time is 90 days total, I have 30 days more to go). He again explained to me that this might go away and wanted to give it another 4 weeks. He mentioned that he would consider a scope in the shoulder in a few weeks if it doesn't clear up, but thought it was too early to do surgery for an issue he believes might clear up on it's own. He said I could get a second opinion if I was concerned.
There is only one problem with getting a second opinion, I have tried. I have called 10 different orthopedic surgeon offices, but not even one will return my call. I assume this is because they do not want to take the liability.
Not only am I worried for the damage I am doing to it now, but I am worried about the future.
What the hell do I do here? I thought about getting a lawyer but I still have another 30 days for full recovery. | 60 days after my shoulder surgery I have an audible creaky noise when I flex it. My doctor has no idea what it is and I cannot get any other doctor to look at it. What should I do? |
t3_3j0mh9 | relationships | Me [33F] with my gf [32F] - together almost a year, waiting for the break up. | My gf is in her first lesbian relationship. She was with her ex since high school & we met pretty soon after they split up.
It's a complicated situation & we've broken up a couple of times but it's never been because of anything negative in the relationship. It's always been that she doesn't want to hurt me but that she wants to experience single life, which is completely understandable to me.
So she's been doing some dating & we would just float back together after every break up because it's so good.
And now it seems like she's done with the dating but she's still not sure about making a long term commitment, which I'm ok with. But I'm just sitting here waiting for her to tell me again that she can't do it. But everything is fine, there is no indication that she is going to do it, but I feel used to it. Like it's too good to be true that things are ok.
Am I just looking for reasons to make things not work out, should I give her more space, should I just take things slow? | GF needs space to be single & has broken up with me a couple of times & now I'm waiting for it to happen again. |
t3_42tf8t | tifu | TIFU by making it look like I was stealing ex boyfriends dog | This happened like 10 minutes ago so sorry if its not 100% coherent I'm still really embarrassed about it.
I was coming home from college classes, and since my car is currently getting work done my grandmother had to give me a ride home. Well, once we pull into my neighborhood we notice a rather large golden retriever just walking around. I ask my gram to pull over so I can call to what I thought was my best friends old dog (she moved away but it still lives at her parents house) now note: This dog responded to Sadie, my best friends dogs name. Now, I call it over and let it hop in the car, another guy in my neighborhood who I used to date in highschool comes running down the hill. My gram then proceeds to continue driving past this guy while he just looks at the car in total defeat. After about 20 feet I get my gram to stop, hop out the car and go "uh....this is your dog isn't it?" And he only responded with a salty af "yep. He got loose."
Turns out he also has a golden retriever that I didn't know about and it ran away. | found lost dog wandering around neighborhood, thought it was best friends dog, it got in my car to drive it home, ended up being ex boyfriends dog that he thought I was stealing |
t3_4wagqc | relationships | My boss [50's M] won't let me [19M] off for a family emergency | This may not be the right place to post this but I'm just super frustrated and upset.
This past week my 1 year old cousin has gotten very sick. She has had a weak immune system in the way that a common cold can bring her near death. My whole family is heading up to visit her family in Connecticut as we might lose my baby cousin. However, I have work.
I explained to my boss the situation and he flat out said no. He's a really difficult person to reason with and he already doesn't like me. What should I do? Should I just not show up? It's my last week at this job and I don't know why he's doing this. I just wanted to be with my family in our time of need. | baby cousin is sick to the point where she may perish and my boss won't let me take the day off to spend with my family |
t3_1jclys | loseit | Any recommendations on a workout to retain muscle whilst losing fat? | Hello :D
I've just gone from a bulking diet to which I have put on 12lb's since March 2013 to now, however I want to start cutting again so I can finally get rid of the belly fat.
I have noticeably put on muscle since I started bulking. In the past year i went from 260lbs to 175lbs by eating at a defecit and exercising via cardio and now am at 185lbs for 6 ft 1. When I was at my lowest weight I was a bit too skinny for my liking but still had a bit of a belly.
Ive bulked and have been lifting weights on a Chest Tri, Back Bi and Shoulders Abs split 3 times per week since however I'm now wanting to go back to cutting but don't want to sacrifice muscle to lose weight. Can any of you guys recommend any routines that I could stick to. I've been looking at different splits on however arent' too sure which is a good idea.
Im not trying to create miracles and build muscle whilst cutting I just want to retain muscle. Im eating at 1g of protein per 1lb of bodymass at the minute so around 185g of protein and keeping my calories at 2000kcals per day.
I just feel a bit lost at the minute as when i previously lost weight i lost ALL my muscle pretty much and have worked very hard to put it back on but have a bit of a belly which is annoying and needs getting rid of. | Can you recommend me a good 3 to 4 day split which can include cardio and/or weights which will help me retain muscle whilst losing fat? |
t3_s84rx | relationships | 4 Months in, unsure how to take this conversation | me (30 f) him (31 m)
I had noticed my boyfriend becoming more withdrawn lately and knew that his work was drawing him down; he and I are both the type of people to withdraw when we're overly stimulated and out of our control zone. Last night I had a talk with him about our relationship. I had been feeling somewhat insecure because of my menstrual cycle, which made me extraordinarily emotional. Usually I'm hyper rational.
He said that while he likes to hang out with me and finds me compatible, he has been more inclined to be more solitary. This is fine with me. He also said he's unsure about the relationship because he hadn't invested much emotion into it, reason being when he has in the past he's been horribly hurt. His main concern is that he is an ENTP and that I'm an INTP; I will not talk freely about emotions, I'd rather access a situation and give my observations when I feel it necessary. I'm unsure if this makes him a little insecure about my feelings towards him.
So last night I pretty much told him to stop holding himself back with insecurities of his previous relationships, and that while I've got a lot of patience, I am not a fool.
I don't like getting close to people because I have trust issues, but I enjoy getting close to him.
Any thoughts? | Boyfriend unemotional about relationship due to his own insecurities from his past, unsure where to go from here. |
t3_10a6jk | AskReddit | Reddit, what's something you do to get over someone? | Known this girl for a year, really hit off, was going to ask her out tonight, but found out she has a boyfriend, I even made another post here to find out how to steal her away. Then after reading the comments, and sitting down and thinking about logically as my head wasn't working correctly, I agree with the commenters that its a douchbag move if I did ask her, and I thought, " what the hell am I doing?" Half-year of anticipation , build up, and finally had the courage tonight completed ruined, feels like the world has crashed around me, Feel pretty damn horrible, so what's something you do, reddit, to get over someone especially knowing you are to see them alot (i'm in the same club as her....I'm the club vice president so I can't just leave and i don't think she is planning to leave... she doesn't know i planned to ask her out tonight) | Planned to ask a girl out, Found out she has a boy friend, what's something reddit do to get over someone ? |
t3_3j04lr | dating_advice | Any tips to overcome inability to touch / kiss for the first time? | So here's the thing: I'm 25 years old and have very limited dating experience. I found this girl on okcupid and we went on a date. It went great - I'm not usually very talkative or open person when meeting new people, but with her it was easy - and that never happens to me. The next day, we setup another date.
I prepared myself that if it goes well, I'll kiss her at the end of the date. The date was awesome, but I just couldn't do anything, even hold her hand. Now this is bad enough, but it gets worse - I panicked and texted her something stupid about not kissing her, which she handled surprisingly well and two days after that we setup another date.
Now since she wanted to see me again I know she likes me and thanks to that stupid text I know she knows I intend to kiss her. The date was insanely good, we both had so much fun. But I still can't do anything, I couldn't even hold her hand during this short romantic play we saw at one point.. Hell I didn't even tell her how pretty she looked in her dress.
What is wrong with me? How do I get past this? I'm confident I'll see her again, but I'm afraid (or rather pretty sure) I will freeze again and she starts thinking I'm not interested in her like that.. I've read some articles about this, but everything just feels creepy.. | I can't make "a move" because I'm horrified that it'll come out creepy. PLEASE HELP ME >.< |
t3_o6a51 | AskReddit | Hi guys, I have a question for the community | Hey fellow redditors, I have a legitimate question for the community of Reddit. We all know there are many types of posts and questions that can be made and asked on Reddit, some include mentioning your age.
Being a 16 year old, I feel as if my comments and various evaluations instantly lose legitimacy and competence just because of my age. I've made comments in posts concerning Learning Disabilities (I have many) and even though I had explained my remediation, everyone seems to not take anything I say seriously. I've made comments on posts concerning life problems and triumphs, made educated guesses, and attempted to discuss subjects and politics but i'm treated all the same.
I understand that the Reddit community's demographic dominantly includes men and women ranging from the ages of 18-25, so my question is, what do you all have against people my age? I understand, I hate most people my age because a lot of teenagers are in fact, utterly retarded. What I don't understand is why am I judged incompetent because of my age, even if I show otherwise? I legitimately, genuinely would like to know! | I'm not a stupid teenager, so why am I treated like one by most everyone on Reddit? I want to know why I can't have any competence just because of my age. |
t3_n36k7 | relationships | Hey Reddit! should i abandon my deadbeat roommates? | So i am 23, i live with 3 23 year olds. One is my girlfriend, the other 2 are another couple i have known for many years. We all moved in together about a year ago. Things were fine at first, we all worked, we all cleaned, we got along.
Then everyone but me, who were all working at the same super stressful call center, quit their jobs. At the time i understood, i was OK with it, but overtime the other couple just stopped pitching in as much as they should be cleaning the house, and their attempts to find jobs were less than stellar over the last 9 months. They also are not paying their share of utilities. i approached them more than once but nothing changed, because they are headstrong, stubborn, lazy, etc. This also has been bugging my girlfriend to no end, as her and i clean, and she found work.
And now here we are, them fresh laid off of their seasonal Halloween shop job, my girlfriend fed up with their antics wants me and her to move out in 3 months, leaving them to fend for themselves, regardless if they find work or if they can pay the rent of our current place after we are gone. I will be telling them this in a few days. I know they will either not understand what the problem is, or act as though we are in the wrong.
Am i in the right to abandon them? if not what should i do? I want to keep being friends with them, but it is straining my relationship with my girlfriend a lot, and talking to them just leads to them making promises they do not keep. | Roommates are lovable dead beats ive known for ever, and they are making me and the Gf crazy by being bad at cleaning and having jobs. Should i abandon them and move? |
t3_3gfbfa | Advice | I'm 21, my dad has maybe 6 months to live, and I'm falling apart. | My dad has been fighting cancer on and off for over 25 years, and I'm relatively certain he has tiger blood. It reached his kidney last Spring, so he had the kidney removed, and all was fine after that.
His cancer came back in February, and this round is kicking his ass.
I can't remember the exact name for it, but it's in the cells near where his kidney used to be, and they can't pinpoint where its full exact location is, so they can't go in to remove the cells. It's really aggressive, and my stepmom who has been taking care of him has told me that he may not even make it to Christmas at this rate.
I love my dad, but I've accepted he's going to die. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I'm an only child entering her final year of college this year, and even my doctor has told me that I just have to endure this. The fuck do I do though? | My dad is going to die soon, I love him to the moon and back, and have no idea what to do with myself. |
t3_3jn66j | relationships | Breakup: I[23f] suddenly have a desire for my ex [21m] after being broken up for months (possible NSFW) | We were friends for 3yrs before he told me how much he liked me AFTER I moved out of state.. We tried long distance for a while, but when I was supposed to go meet him, he back out and dropped all communication with me days before the trip. I later found out he was back with his ex ( that just broke up with one of his friends).
I was truly in love with him and he claimed to feel the same (we were talking about moving in together this year, marriage, kids, etc.), but he chickened out at possibly the most important part of our relationship and it broke my heart.
So it's been 8 months and I'm over the emotional pain and haven't thought about him since, but today I was just sitting on my couch and was struck with this wave of arousal for him. Nothing triggered this, no pics, no smells.. But now I feel sick and angry at myself.
I haven't felt true arousal for anyone since him and I hate that I'm even considering having sex with him when I visit for a holiday. A part of me thinks it's okay because I'm emotionally numb and there is no second chance for a relationship, like a "get it out of my system" kind of thought.
I won't be looking for him, but he'll know I'm there since we have mutual friends. | Broke up, but got hit with the feels. Is it a good idea to do "one last hurrah"? |
t3_39xgap | relationships | My wife [30 F] wants me [30 M] to sleep with other women... Like her best friend | So we've been together ten years, and did a lot of fooling around together before we got together seriously. Although I flirted a lot with other women when I was younger, I never did more than kiss. Whereas my wife has had several sexual partners. She is worried that I'm missing out, and that I should experience these things.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm an emotionally intelligent guy, and it would be very easy to put this down to her feeling insecure or self-degrading. But I make it incredibly clear that I have chosen her for a reason and I'm extremely happy where I am. We talk openly about sex and fantasy, and she is definitely very satisfied that way.
I don't feel like I'm missing out by not having slept with others. Should I? What would I gain? What does she gain? Proof that I'm making an informed decision by being with her?
I'm going on a camping trip with her best friend this week that she organised then has "had to" cancel her place last minute, and she's constantly saying she knows her friend will try something and she doesn't mind at all, she knows I dont want to but knows the friend does. She's not the kind of person that would test me. | my wife knows I love her, she knows I'm sexually content, but she wants me to sleep around a bit. Should I want to? What am I missing. |
t3_2rq8gi | legaladvice | [California] My girlfriend stole $60 out of my wallet after a very heated argument and is refusing to give them back. | So me and my girlfriend got into an argument tonight after she flicked me in the face. I asked her to apologize for it, and she wouldn't so I got out of her car and started walking away. She runs up to me grabbing my shirt and refusing to let go unless I went back to her car. She wanted to take me home but I was done with her, I just didn't want anything to do with her. While she's holding on to me she reaches into my pockets, throws my phone away from me, takes my pocket change and my wallet from me. I managed to get free and run away. I actually had to run because she chased after me. I get away and walk in the direction of a bus stop. On my way my gf drives up next to me yelling at me to get In the car,I tell to just give me my wallet back which she doesn't do. Finally she pulls into a gas station up ahead and gets out and throws my wallet in the street and drives off. I get it back, all my cards are there minus my $60 something I had. Is their anything legally I can to get my money back? | me and now ex gf get into argument. She steals my $60, doesn't want to give it back. How can I get it back? |
t3_3p5mq4 | relationships | I [22/F] have/had a lot of self-confidence problems which lead me to become attached to any male that talks to me | Hi all.
Using a throwaway for reasons which will become obvious. I've had self-confidence issues for awhile. I'm seeking therapy for it, I've been losing weight. I'm working on it which is why I'm posting here and not on another subreddit.
The problem is, even though I am becoming a little more confident in myself, I am very weak for males. Any male, I am weak for. I have never been in a relationship. Never been kissed. None of it. I'm awkward with males because of it.
Whenever a male starts talking to me, I instantly develop a crush. I imagine our life together. I go crazy.
Recently, I met someone on Reddit. He is 24/M. We have been exchanging messages after we exchanged comments on a subreddit we are both part of (on my other account). I don't know his name, don't know how he looks. We just exchange one or two messages a day. It's obvious he isn't interested in me because he will post a lot on the subreddit, and at the very end of the day will reply to me. It's almost like it's a chore for him to respond to me.
BUT. I am so weak that I crave that attention. I get super anxious and mad when I see he is writing on the subreddit but is not answering my messages. I start feeling like I did something wrong. And worst of all, I think I'm developing a crush on him. I have become super attached to him. We've been exchanging messages for a week. Really lengthy messages that usually take 2 messages to send. I'm constantly thinking about him. For all I know he could be a 50 year old. I can't help the way I feel and it really pisses me off.
I'm hoping someone here has been through something similar and can advise me of what to do. Do I just stop talking to him? Delete my account? He's fun to talk to and I'd like to keep talking to him but the way he makes me feel drives me crazy. Please help! | Self-esteem issues have led me to become attached and infatuated with any male I meet. Currently on my mind is someone from Reddit whose name I don't know. How do I stop these feelings of mine? |
t3_39se7b | relationships | I [20/F] have always felt extremely disconnected from my family (mostly Mom [44] and Dad [45]) | I grew up in an extremely loving and supporting family who never wanted anything less than the best for me. There was no abuse, no trauma, nothing that could have caused the way I feel. Despite all this, I have never felt a connection with my family. I remember looking at my family when I was younger and wondering how I ended up with them, how if I wasn't told otherwise I would never believe that they were my parents, and I even remember questioning whether or not I was adopted.
I never felt the urge or desire to spend time with them, to hug them or cuddle with them, I only do it because I know I should as their daughter because they have done nothing to deserve otherwise. I don't feel anything at the moments where I believe I should feel love, and I don't know why and I feel so guilty.
I am a good daughter to them, and I do not hate them by any means. They have done a lot for me and I appreciate that, but I feel so disconnected from them. I feel like we are so different, but the problem is I can't put my finger on how. I can only think of insignificant things, like the fact that they crack jokes that I think are stupid and that they find 'external image' to be so important. I have spent a lot of time reflecting upon this and believe that these things about them that annoy me are reflections of a greater 'difference' that lies between us that I have yet to discover.
I'm reaching a point in my life where I am trying to become my own person, and I am discovering that some of my core values (IE religion and morals) are different from theirs, as well as the way in which we like to go about handling these differences in eachother. As a result we have been arguing a lot about these things and I feel the rift between my parents and I (especially my Father) growing. As this happens, I only want to be independent of them more and as a result I feel more guilty because they love me so much | I have always felt disconnected from my family, I used to think I was adopted because I never felt 'love' for them the way I thought I should |
t3_1f0230 | relationship_advice | Me (26/f) desperate for help/advice.. he (26/m) is leaving... | This is a throwaway account as I am embarrassed to even having to ask this, but could really use some friendly, anonymous advice. Please bear with my lengthy explanation and thanks in advance for your time. :)
I am in a relationship (approximately 7 months) and things are going amazingly well despite my abandonment issues causing me to get incredibly anxious whenever we are apart or out of communication for a long duration of time. Since we met and I disclosed my troubles, he has been very patient and supportive and with his help, I have developed a more comfortable and healthy perspective and grown to feel much more secure in our relationship.
We are in contact in one way or another every day and see each other as much as our schedules and obligations allow and my favorite times of the day are those I spend communicating or seeing him.
Fairly soon, my boyfriend will be going on a two week trip, during which time we will have little to no communication. I trust my boyfriend 100% and have absolutely no doubt in his fidelity or feelings for me, but I worry that the time we spend apart will wear on my confidence in our relationship and that I will begin to get insecure, worried, and miss him terribly.
Lately, he has admitted to getting frustrated with my occasional relapses into insecurity about our relationship, because he wants things to be moving forward not backwards. I can sympathize with his frustration and so I am hesitant to discuss this with him for fear it may drive him away, which is the last thing I want.
I know that my feelings regarding abandonment are irrational, but I admittedly struggle with them as if they were real and reasonable despite my best efforts. I am wondering if anyone has any advice for how to manage my insecurity and cope with the two week separation without driving myself crazy or my boyfriend away. Also, should I keep my concerns secret or share them with him? | Insecurity/abandonment issues likely to be triggered by boyfriend's two week trip; how do I manage or avoid them? Do I tell him my concerns? |
t3_2kcfp6 | tifu | TIFU by telling my girlfriend that her dad's my Eskimo brother. | My girlfriends parents have been divorced for a while now but her dad never really started dating again. Well he finally found a girlfriend and wanted his kids to meet her. As a caring boyfriend I decided to accompany my girlfriend for moral support. Turns out my girlfriends dad is banging my ex girlfriend from high school. No biggie right she's only 20 years younger than him. My girlfriend was pissed about the age difference. So I told her at least her dad and I had similar taste. She was not amused when I explained how I knew her dad's new girlfriend. | supporting my girlfriend meeting her divorced dad's new girlfriend ends up being my old ex girlfriend from high school. Eskimo bros! |
t3_1hmmk2 | relationships | I [22m] am going on a date on saturday with a girl I went to highschool with [23f]. Any tips? | Little bit of backstory behind this. We were aquaintences in high school and I went to her huge birthday party in grade 11 with some mutual friends of ours. We both graduated from high school in 2009 and then she went off to University in Ontario (I stayed in Nova Scotia) and we occasionally kept in touch via various comments on facebook posts, usually every couple months or so. I went to the Nova Scotia Community College here.
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About a month ago I signed up on eHarmony because I know a few people who ended up getting married because of that site, and I had been without a successful relationship for a while so I figured I'd give it a shot. So anyway; a few days ago, one of the matches that came up for me was her. I had no idea that she was on eHarmony, and she sent me a smile. I sent her one back then asked her if she knew it was me she had sent a smile to. She acted oblivious at first, until I mentioned that it was on eHarmony then she laughed and pointed out the humor in matching two people who already knew each other.
I agreed and and it turns out that she is back in NS for the summer and she had just changed locations on her profile. After a couple hours of just chatting on FB, she said "So, where do we go from here?"
I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner some time and she said sure, and I asked her what she liked, and as a result we're meeting at a steakhouse on saturday evening for dinner.
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Least to say, I'm a somewhat awkward person, and after 3 years of not having an in depth conversation with her, I'm not sure how to spark conversation. Or even what to avoid once conversation starts. | I'm going on a date with a girl I haven't seen or really talked to in 3 years, no idea what to say. |
t3_2r5rt6 | Parenting | Trouble transitioning to toddler bed | We have a 2.5 year old daughter, normal, healthy child, goes to day care. Over Christmas break we transitioned from the crib to a toddler bed which is right next to the crib. Nothing else changed with the bedtime routine. That was two weeks ago. Since then, bed time has been drifting later and later, last night it was 9pm, tonight I think she may be asleep now (8:30). It's been very difficult as she is up at 6am, so she lost 2 hours of sleep. She has yet to nap in the toddler bed either, and we have resorted to driving her around late in the afternoon (or at sign of fatigue).
Her bedtime routine starts around 6:30, and it's very very constant,sippy cup of milk, youtube videos, up to bed, play for another 10 minutes, lullabye, and that's it, usually she is asleep 5-10 minutes after (around 7:15 or maybe 7:30).
Any suggestions? I think I am just going to insist on 7:30 bedtime, quick lullabye, and she can scream her head off. (We've been rescuing her on things like poop, pee etc (yes she is holding it specifically for this....sigh), and we'd have to intervene for this since I don't want her poop to go everywhere. Basically cry it out again. | Basically the loss of my sanity time is driving me nuts, chores are not getting done, I'm getting no down time, kid is losing 1-2 hours of sleep a night. |
t3_2twgif | relationship_advice | I'm a new smoker (f/21), and my boyfriend (m/25) wants me to quit before it gets bad, I don't want to | I have serious issues with mental illnesses that I'm working on. It's been the hardest year of my life, and if you look at my old posts, you can sense it
I have an eating disorder that makes me want to smoke as much as I can, and only when I'm feeling hungry. I'm addicted to the suppression of hunger. I use to be bulimic until I started smoking three months ago.
When I was over at my boyfriend's house for a week two weeks ago, I quit cold turkey and found it sort of difficult, but easy. It was like.. I ate very little, and I purged a bit of food when I didn't feel well. Sometimes my stomach can't digest food properly because I starve myself so much. So I then start feeling nauseous
Then I went back to smoking after I left. I know he loves me, and I know it makes him sad when he sees me pull out a cigarette, his grandfather died from lung cancer. He's scared that I'll get sick too.
I don't feel like I'll be smoking forever, but for right now while I'm going to therapy to deal with my eating disorder, I need the cigarettes to keep me in check.
It's a hard choice between what I want for myself, and what I think is best/comfortable and what his logical reasoning is.
I don't know what to do.. I don't want to quit. I know he won't break up with me, but I don't want him to guilt trip me and make me feel bad everytime I smoke | My boyfriend wants me to quit smoking, but I don't want to, for reasons I feel that are good enough for me to continue |
t3_29ayh2 | weddingplanning | Purple Mocktails! | Our venue has two options for alcohol. Beer/Wine for one price, Beer/Wine/Hard Alcohol for another. We decided that spending so much more for hard alcohol wasn't right for us but this crushed our dreams of having signature drinks.
I thought that having signature MOCKTAILS (cocktails without the alcohol) would be super cool. Our wedding colors and blue/purple so we wanted a mocktail of each color. I think we figured out what we can do to get the right blue (blue curaçao syrup, sprite, lemonade) but I am so stumped on the purple! We mixed blue curaçao syrup with grenadine and then later with cranberry and it's waaaaaay dark. Anyone else planning on mocktails? (Or if you did have them, how did they turn out?) Any chance you had a purple one? Any ideas how to make a purple drink? My searching hasn't found anything that seemed right. | Planning on having non-alcoholic drinks at the wedding, no idea how to make a purple mocktail. Any ideas? |
t3_10j8tz | AskReddit | Did I make the right decision? | I moved from a large city to a smaller metro area so my wife could take care of her parents. Over the past 11 years, slowly, her family passed away one by one (old age, illness, etc). Now there is nobody left but us.
I've been at the same job for 9 years, it pays well, but, should I lose my job (which is a possibility in this economy), I would not be able to find a job that pays the same wage. The IT pool is very small here.
So I made the decision after my wife's mom passed away to begin my job search back to the city we moved from. I managed to finally get a job that pays well and has a future. I'm just wondering - should I have stayed at my old job?
It's kind of late to go back, and I wouldn't anyway because I really would rather move... but I wanted some advice. | Moved to a small area to take care of wife's folks; they died, now we're moving back to the big city 4000 km away. |
t3_41658n | relationships | After both person say they like each, what else is required before they can start a relationship? | Hi guys,
I am 24/M.
She is 25/F.
After knowing her for 1.5 years, last week i took a risk and asked her out to Disneyland. After that date I told her I liked her and she said she likes me too.
It's been a week since then and we've been talking very "cutesy" with each other. We also act as if we are in a relationship already (e.g. saying good morning and good night to each other everyday)
However, when I asked if we were BF/GF yet, she said "not yet". She said we're somewhere between friends and BF/GF. (Interestingly, she even told her mom already that I liked her and she liked me back.)
This is potentially going to be my first relationship ever so I don't know what's going on. What do I have to do at this point to make her my GF?
Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you guys! | I like girl. Girl likes me. However, she said we're not Boyfriend/Girlfriends yet. Why is this so? |
t3_m7jmr | AskReddit | What is one thing that has happened in your life that will haunt you forever? | I'll start: I had known this kid for a few years that was a complete asshole to everyone. He had no friends but he continually just talked shit to everyone he encountered. It truly baffled me. People would say stuff back but nobody ever got physical with him out of fear of getting in trouble. (This is when I was in the 7th grade) Everyone was absolutely sick of this kid's shit so one day, in the locker room, He said something to me and I pushed him. We pushed each other back and forth until I just let loose on him and hit him about four times in the face repeatedly and then he backed up and kind of fell to the ground. He eventually got back up but since he was pretty mentally unstable, I went and told my coaches on myself because I didn't know what he would do. I got a day of suspension but after that day, I have never seen that kid again. I went to school with him every day for about 4 years prior to this. I have repeatedly searched him on every social media site but I haven't found the slightest trace of him. | In the 7th grade, I got in a fight with a kid I went to school with for 4 years and I haven't seen him since that day. |
t3_3j0tot | relationships | I [18m] seem to pick up on small things my girlfriend [16m] does and worry about them, and I don't know how to stop doing this. | Whenever i'm texting or skyping my girlfriend (we are currently in a LDR due to me being in college), if she says or does something that strikes me as a bit odd or like being weirded out or something it tends to stick in my mind and I worry about it, which I know is not healthy at all for me or my relationship with her.
A good example of this is if im skyping her and say something, then she makes a face that I interpret as being weirded out or whatever, that tends to stay with me and I worry about if I weirded her out or if I offended her or something
I trust her very much so I think she would tell me if I actually offended her or something, but that doesnt stop me from worrying.
What can I do to get past this because it is having a detrimental effect on me and on my relationship with her..? | I worry about some stuff that my girlfriend does that I probably don't need to worry about, but I don't know how to fix it. |
t3_1lqodr | relationships | I'm [20/F] with a boyfriend aged [22M/]. We're in the 6th month of our relationship but he constantly tells me how he finds other girls hot. | I'm [20/F] with a boyfriend aged [22M/]. One of the many things about my boyfriend that I don't understand is that he is constantly telling me how he finds other girls attractive. With that in mind, I do realise that we are in a relationship and he has to a certain extent 'chosen' me over these women. At the same time, when a pretty girl pops up on Facebook or even in a music video, he becomes very interested and even makes a little noise like he's satisfied. He knows it irritates me and constantly calls me 'cute'.
I do believe I'm secure with myself, and although I feel I have some flaws, the relationship I have with my body and my self image can be looked at as healthy.
At the same time, I feel like..you know what 'I don't need him to call me beautiful or hot. But in every relationship there has to be some sort of validation as to why you find your SO attractive. I'd just like some perspective on the issue. | !: I'm [20/F] with a boyfriend aged [22M/]. Not sure if my boyfriend is trying to make me jealous when he validates how hot other girls are. |
t3_1w1vtg | relationship_advice | Boyfriend [28m] and I [26f] have decided to live apart. Have any of you done this before? | This is somewhat of an update I guess...or just an evolving situation so here's the original post:
So, as stated before in the other post, my bf and I have been together for about 4 years. In this time frame we've never lived in the same town without living in the same house together. We entirely skipped the whole step where we live in the same place but have our own living situations. So, after 4 years we are taking a step back and have decided to live apart. I guess it's worth mentioning that we have had a long distance stint in our 4 years together which ended up working out pretty well. But, after the long distance thing was over we went right back to living together. So we have lived apart I guess but never in the same place. So what I am getting at here is, have any of you out there done this? I am trying to have a positive outlook on the situation but I can't help but worry a little. I'm nervous about lack of communication, lack of time spent together, and just generally how this is going to play out. Basically, this all stemmed from the fact that he really wants his own social life and that factor in our situation has been going fairly well. We have been doing our own thing but seem to have found a balance between independence and time spent together. However, we currently still live together so we still get to see one another without having to put forth effort. The move is happening very soon so I am filled with emotions: excitement, nervousness, curiosity, and more. Only time will tell but I suppose I am just looking for any insight on the situation. | Boyfriend and I have decided to live apart since we have never really had that in our relationship. How will this play out? |
t3_3j45t3 | relationships | Me [16F] with my boyfrend [21M] 5 months, he wants to break up with me due to long distance, but i'm not giving up so easily on us | Hi guys.
My boyfriend lives in China, i live in Bulgaria. A few days ago we got in a fight but it was just a small misunderstanding.Yesterday he told me he wanted to break up with me and i am devastated.He promised me he'll never leave me and i trusted him...I felt really hurt and sad.
The main reason he wants to break up with me is the distance. He said he felt bad and he was "wasting my time" because he can't talk to me face to face and he can't touch me, he can't see me. The thing is...i just can't let him leave me..I love him too much and i'm too attached.I can't let him go so easily.
I'm determined to fight for us and for our relationship to work out.
Today i sent him a voice message, crying and begging him to stay..And his reply was confusing..He said he's here for me but as a friend and i DON'T want him to friendzone me...
I'm considering to start a part time job soon to save money for a ticket to China, but i'm not sure yet..
How do i convince him to stay and be my boyfriend again? | long distance boyfriend wants to break up with me because we're far away from each other but i don't want to let him go so easily |
t3_2dwnoz | personalfinance | I am very close to getting over a 'hump' and would like to find out what's another method to getting over it. | First off, I'm not sure if this is the right venue for this but I'll give it a shot anyways.
I live in the States and I am close to closing a debt gap. off about $820.00. However, I just bought a car and the first payments are coming up - but soon. I didn't think I was going to get it but to my surprise I got it. The down side is that $820. I would like to clear it off my books asap, but I'm already tied into this deal.
because I don't have any family to borrow from to expunge the debt a co-worker suggested I give this place a try.
Perhaps I could take out a personal loan from the bank pay off the $820 then set aside the rest and when tax time rolls around (the time that I'll be able to repay the loan, unless I get that promotion sooner rather than later) pay it off?
not sure. what my options here are... if someone could fill me in that would be great. | Have a small debt to clear. Not enough money yet to cover it, need time to appropriate the funds, however, APR could stand to be the enemy need ideas to acquire a small loan or the sum needed to clear the loan. |
t3_104tkn | AskReddit | Hey reddit! Where can I buy those rubber handles that hang on the ceiling in metros/subways? This is really urgent! | In my home city there's a problem in the subway during the rush hours. When the subway cars get packed, everybody can't get a seat or reach one of the vertical poles. The result is a lot of people just balancing themselves in the middle of the floor, and obviously gravitational issues ensue every time the train speeds or slows down.
So I'm trying to make my city a bit better place to live by buing a bunch of these handles and installing them in the trains. I just need to know where the hell could i get them for cheap. | TRYING TO IMPROVE MY CITY's SUBWAY BY INSTALLING HANDLES SO PEOPLE DON'T FALL |
t3_hmdk5 | AskReddit | When have you felt super bad for a low-wage worker doing a tough job? | When I was 22 years old, I bought a million-dollar home in central California, it was on an acre lot, so it was on the out-skirts of town. Being that I was so far out of town, I was on a septic water system.
Long story short; I went through a phase where it was the most awesome thing ever to wipe with baby wipes instead of toilet paper... my septic system got clogged.
I called a local company who sent out this Mexican guy, who barely spoke any English and probably got paid in cash, less than minimum wage.
I was drinking a Corona in my back yard by the pool and I hear him screen and start spitting. The septic pipe busted and shot shit up into the air, some of which hit him in the lip.
I'm an asshole but this really made me feel like a horrible person. | someone that worked for ~$4 an hour got my shit on their lips while I drank beer by my swimming pool. |
t3_130iuu | relationship_advice | [21/f] My boyfriend [22/m] and I just got into a mega fight. | Background: My bf and I have been dating for 3 years. This is the first serious relationship either of us have ever been in. We had plans to move out together, get engaged/married, possibly even have children.
The story: We get into fights occasionally, and we always seem to gravitate back towards each other - we talk it out, fix whatever needed to be fixed, and move on. This time, my boyfriend, who gets very verbal when he's angry, called me something I told him previously hurts my feelings (something along the lines of 'pimply c-nt'). I also told him last time he said it (called me a 'crater-faced b-tch'), that the next time would be the last time. And it is. I broke up with him, and he stopped by my house (when my entire family was there) to pick up his stuff, even when I had given him multiple opportunities to meet me outside in public. Then he left after eating some dinner with me and my parents (awkward) (they don't know we broke up), and started texting me horrible things about my grandpa's death, my face (i have mild acne), and other things like hoping my dad gets cancer. Every other time, I have kept my mouth shut about all of the potential stuff I could say about his grandmother's Alzheimer's, grandfather's life errors, his own errors, etc., but this time I let him have it too. I feel bad for what I said, but not for hurting his feelings, because I have kept my mouth shut and let my feelings get hurt, but this time I needed to say something(s) back. | He always has been belligerent with his mouth, and I know he wants to get back together (he apologizes a few hours later, but I don't feel it's sincere), but this time, I'm done with it. |
t3_13xjkz | relationships | I'm (24 M) seeing a girl (24 M ) I really like who wants to take things slow emotionally but still wants to have sex. | We've been seeing each other now for about a few months. She got out of a long-term relationship recently, and my last one ended about 1.5 years ago. She claims that we're taking it slow emotionally but that physically we can still have fun. I am okay with this at the moment but would eventually like a relationship. The maddening part is that I can't be sure if I'm one or one of many gentlemen callers. If it were the latter, that would really bother me since I really dig this girl, and since we never talked about exclusivity I haven't asked at the risk of sounding controlling or jealous. Basically, I don't want to scare her off. So should I bring it up at the risk of coming across as jealous? Should I tell her that I'm not comfortable with her possibly sleeping with other guys? Should I ask if I'm the only one? Or should I just tell her I can't see her anymore since we want different things? Keep in mind that she's expressed feelings for me too, and that she has said various confusing things about meeting her family and such. Thanks! | Girl I'm seeing wants to take things slow emotionally but still wants sex. Really like her, but wouldn't be comfortable if I weren't the only guy she was sleeping with. |
t3_1kovlr | running | Limitation is in your head | **Setup**
So, I never really liked running.
This spring, I signed up for an early summer Olymipic Tri as a challenge to myself. The furthest I had run prior to this was a 5k, and it nearly killed me. I figured two months of training to get to a 10 K would be hard, but I could do it. Come race day, the furthest I had run was 6.5 miles in a training ride and I was very apprehensive about the run, but determined not to walk.
I ran every mile of the run, stopping only at the water stations to stretch my cramped legs. My run split was an hour for the 10 k (coming after a 26 MI bike ride)
**Training**
Over the next few months, I mostly focused on my biking, but ran around 10 miles a week. My furthest training run was 7.5 miles.
I did an 10K race and finished in 50:51.
Two weeks later, I did another Oly tri and my run split was 55:02 and I didn't need to stop at any point.
**Underestimation**
One week after that, my girlfriend was signed up for a half marathon (last Saturday, Madison mini marathon). Now, I had only run 7.5 miles at a time up until this point. I thought to myself "there's no way". Last Tuesday I was on a training run and, went 7 miles, but felt like I could have gone further. I signed up for the half marathon.
**Conclusion, | I ran all 13.1 miles on Saturday, less than a week after thinking to myself "There's no way." I think I could have gone further. |
t3_26x7hq | relationships | I'm [29/F] in new relationship with [36 M] - unsure how to tell him about my depression | I was diagnosed with moderate depression and put on medication for the first time last year, though it's something I've struggled with my whole life. I haven't been in a serious relationship in a few years, but started seeing a really great guy about six weeks ago which has been a bright spot in my life.
He knows that I see a therapist, but I haven't opened up to him about the fact that I suffer from depression and am on medication, or that I have "what's the point?" thoughts every once in a while. When we're together I feel good; he actually makes me happy and we're active so that's all he has seen from me (smiles, laughing, engaging, etc.).
That said, I know that sooner rather than later he's going to experience one of my down days and I need to address the situation before that happens. I want to be honest with him, but I'm scared and don't really know how to start that conversation.
Does anyone have advice from their own experience dealing with this? | Looking for advice on how to tell the guy I've been seeing that I suffer from depression/am on meds. |
t3_2730fc | relationship_advice | My[24F] boyfriend's[27M] roommate [40ishF] took photos of us and threatened to post on Facebook[update] | I've posted before about this roommate situation ad I unfortunately have to wait it out a bit longer until he finds a new place to live. My issue isn't with that now.
So 45min ago my bf and I were sitting on the couch vegetating after a busy day of working out and running around town. Both of us are on the couch and she's sitting there and all of a sudden starts taking photos an I'm like wtf are you taking pictures of us for(we weren't being cute just watching tv and on our phones) and she was like what would happen if I uploaded these to Facebook and tagged you in them Lolz hurr hurr.
I was taken aback because she knows that we work for the same company(not same department and I am not his subordinate or supervisor or anything untoward) and we both prefer to keep things quiet until we are ready to tell people. At any rate I feel like it was a huge invasion, really weird, and not sure what to do about this. Any advice on if I say something to her, him, both would be appreciate. | my boyfriends roommate took random photos of us and threatened to post them on Facebook and tag us in them thus presenting a complicated work situation that neither of us want. Help? |
t3_3aghty | relationships | My friend [32M] made comments at a party suggesting that I [24M] was pursuing his wife [30F] | My friend A [32M] hosted a party for his son's 1st birthday. This party was attended by myself [24M], his wife B [30], a couple mutual friends and two of his cousins I met for the first time.
I am a pretty friendly person and can easily speak with just about anyone, and did so at this party. At one point, everyone went outdoors to smoke except myself, B and one of A's cousins. It wasn't obvious, but apparently A was drunk at this point. I was having a conversation with B and the cousin, but B and I were doing most of the talking. The smokers are right outside behind a sliding glass door. A opens the door, kind of quietly mumbles something and then closes the door again. No one indoors heard what A said and we quickly get back to our conversation after a moment of confusion. A minute or two later all the smokers come back inside and A says something like "pshh, look they are still conversing."
I learned from a mutual friend among the smokers that A had said "So this is how he chats up the Chinese girls" the first time he opened the door. Side note, A and his wife are both Chinese. My recently exGF was also Chinese. He also said to the other smokers "hold on, my wife is cheating on me" before coming inside.
Like I said my friend A was drunk at this time and he doesn't remember any of this happening. I am concerned that he has some lingering insecurities that will cause tension in our friendship in the future though. Suggesting that I would pursue the wife of one of my friends also makes me really angry. I really have no idea why he was saying those things. B and I never talked about anything inappropriate and we were never even in a room alone together. It is also only the 2nd time I have met B.
I am looking for advice on how to approach social situations in the future where I will be around A and B. A and I are very close friends, so these type of social interactions are almost guaranteed to happen. | My friend [32M] made comments at a party suggesting that I [24M] was pursuing his wife [30F]. |
t3_26vsd1 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of only a couple days and a very strange situation with alcohol. Not sure how to take this | So I've been "officially" dating this new girl as of only a couple days and I'm already a bit confused on where to go. Last night my friend had a bonfire and it was going well, we were all hanging out and having a good time. My girlfriend started acting very drunk after only six beers, and the homeowner was telling us to go upstairs and have sex after she started saying she wanted to. (it's a very laid back group of friends)
At first I was hesitant, but she had said earlier that she wanted to tonight so I thought everything was cool. After we finished I went outside for a cig and another beer and came back to her asleep on the bed. I went to sleep as well, and this is where it gets weird.
I woke up around 4am to her standing over top of me asking where her pants are. I pointed them out on the ground and thought nothing of it. A few seconds later I hear the sound of liquid hitting the ground, she's sitting there PEEING on my friends floor. I ask her what the hell she is doing and she says "Peeing, what the fuck does it look like?" I'm fucking weirded out at this point and move her to the bathroom where she keeps throwing obscenities at me and being a complete asshole. Eventually she goes back to sleep and when I ask her what she was thinking she is completely calm and acts like nothing weird happened.
I confronted her in the morning and she was very apologetic, but I'm still feeling very weirded out. | Girlfriend of a couple days pees on my friends floor, acts like a complete bitch after only a few beers, don't know how to take it |
t3_1rjp5d | relationships | [23F] with my coworker turned boyfriend, [23 M] of two months, should I tell him about a recent hookup before we were exclusive? | This summer I moved to a new city to begin a new job. It was a great career move, but crazy lifestyle (4 days/week business travel, 70-80 hours a week of work). Since I'm away most of the week and the lifestyle is so crazy, I have mostly bonded/made friends with my coworkers. We generally travel to different places, so I don't see them on a day-to-day, only on Fridays.
During the summer, I was hooking up with a guy I met on okcupid sporadically (every couple of weeks or so). I found out that his roommate was also one of my coworkers (but had started a year earlier than I did). I didn't think too much of it.
In late September I started hooking up with one of my coworkers. It started with just going home together after late parties and me leaving early, but soon we saw each other every weekend we were in town, I stayed at his place every night. We started holding hands, he cooked me dinner ... things developed etc. Finally, last week he brought up the relationship question (very cute because he is all gruff and stoic) and said he could see me as his girlfriend. I agreed.
In the last two months, I've hooked up with the other guy twice, on weekends when my now-boyfriend was away. Here's the problem (ah, dating coworkers): my boyfriend is now on a small team with the hookup's roommate. Boyfriend and my relationship is not yet common knowledge, but knowing how these things go, will be soon. I don't want the roommate telling my boyfriend about me hooking up with the other guy, I'd rather be the one to tell. But I get the sense that he would rather not know at all -- so I don't want to volunteer the information. I know we weren't exclusive yet, but I still feel weird and guilty about it. | I slept with someone before boyfriend and I were exclusive, and I'm worried someone else may tell him. Should I do it first? |
t3_32s1yq | relationships | Me [25 M] with my exgf [24/F] 11months, illness made me bitter and mean towards her | We broke up a few months ago and she has a clouded view of me. We broke up because of a cyclical petty argument. There was a period of 2weeks where no one was told so I took it on me to quit drinking as it was probably flaring up my illness a lot. I was making these changes and she could see. On a Friday night where she kept.approaching me I had a really bad flare up and as I'd plan to be pleasant, I was sunked and dismissive. This led to a few bad moments and the next day i thought I'd just give her space at a mutual friends party.
This led to people coming up and questioning her and it looked like my interference. I was sober but everyone else there was drunk and it led to a big bar fight getting four of us banned. She's out having the time of her life with them now whilst I'm left alone, all apparent mutual friends are with her.
She thinks I'm a bad person, she still replies to my texts but I'm sure she has no interest in me whatsoever. | me and go gf broke up due to illness flare-ups turning me into an arse. Would do anything to get her back. |
t3_2625jt | relationships | Do I(M24) be direct with her(F24) or go quiet and let her reach out to me? | I (M24) been on several dates with this girl (F24). The dates have all gone well, always ending somewhere along the spectrum of kissing to heavy petting. The last time I saw her in person was two weeks ago when she invited me to go see the new spiderman movie. Since then, we've been texting/snapchatting which is fine. But I've asked her several times/invited her out and she has declined due to scheduling conflicts.
Now it's started to become "when can I see you again" to which she offers no actionable response. I get that there needs to be some kind of chase involved but I'm starting to get fed up. The way I see it I have two options.
**1) Call her out on it, and tell her that if she is interested she meet me half way
2)Drop contact and wait for her to reach out so that I know she's interested and that she needs to put in some effort.
**
A female friend of mine recommended option 2, making the valid point that if this is going to turn into any kind of relationship she needs to make that decision on her own and not be guilted/pressured into it.
My concern with this option is that she is admittedly dense when it comes to dating and described herself as chronically single. This makes me worried that EVEN IF she is interested she won't put things together if I go quiet.
With option 1, I can't think of a way of bringing up the topic without sounding like a needy asshole, but as I mentioned being blunt might be the way to get her attention.
I've already started option 2 (it's been two days), but I'm waivering. Any criticism/encouragement you guys can provide about my current course of action would be really appreciated. | Cute oblivious girl isn't putting in any effort to make time to hang out. Should I keep quiet until she figures out I won't chase after her endlessly, or be direct to compensate for her lack of dating experience? |
t3_lcjm8 | AskReddit | Reddit... am i? | So, here it goes. I've been in the process of a divorce for over 2 years now. That process however has been my soon to be ex calling me asking for money to file (around $500 ish) and spending it on w/e she wanted to, then calling me back and saying she missed her court date and had to re file. I know i shouldnt have bought it in the first place, but we are seperating out of hatred (not yet) or anything just mutual reasons. We still get along and are friends... well were. After 3 or more times of sending her money for a "divorce" all the while sending her additional money for groceries and to help with her son, cause she is a drug addict who is in rehab/recovery i decided enough is enough. So i filed myself and sent her papers. Now... there is no problem except she has this new found need for stuff she left in my house over 2 years ago. I have moved 3 times since then and some of it genuinely go lost or misplaced.. but the bulk of her stuff i trashed in a drunked rampage after she pretty much was taking advantage of how nice a person i am and willing to help her with her money problems. So i was drunk packing up to move and everything that reminded me of her i trashed, blindly i trashed all of it nothing remains. Now i remember after the fact that some of that stuff was .. pictures and other things she had of her mother who had passed away i feel shitty because i have to tell her i threw it all in the dump.. but regardless im not telling her for atleast another 2 weeks until we are legally finally divorced... does that make me a horrible person? I sure feel like it.. | got drunk, trashed a bunch of ex wifes stuff after she taken advantage of my help, realized some of it was her dead mothers stuff she was keeping ... |
t3_2cm0u5 | relationships | My [26M] fwb is sending me romantic texts, and I [20F] don't know how to react. | A few weeks ago, I met up with a man who I met on Tinder. I made it clear to him that I was only looking for sex, and he agreed. We've been together a few times, and enjoy a lot of sexting and sending pictures in between our meetups.
A few days ago, I noticed his texts felt a lot more romantic. He sends me messages like "Good morning, beautiful!", and tells me I'm an amazing girl. His last text to me says "You're the perfect girl."
This doesn't seem like the behavior of someone who is only interested in sex, but I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't want to ask him if he has romantic intentions for our relationship, in case it scares him away.
What should I make of this situation? How do I respond to these texts? | A man I'm in a fwb relationship with is sending me romantic text messages, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. |
t3_3qhdfz | travel | Questions for those who traveled to Nepal and did trekking during winter season | * What place did you trek? If you did multiple places, what would you recommend if you only had time for one. (I have set aside 2 weeks give or take up to 3 weeks if I can be convinced for trekking)
* Was it during the winter season? How many layers did you wear (trying to get an idea, so I can minimize the amount of clothes I bring on the trip)
I want to trek to see Gokyo Lakes in Nepal in DECEMBER, how much should I expect for this to cost, the trekking portion, already paid for my plane ticket and travel insurance.
I'm looking at I think trekking websites and all of them are roughly 1,000-3,000 or so USD for about 2 weeks. Does everyone who trek these areas pay that much? No prior experience with trekking. | Is trekking in Nepal that expensive? Or can I just hire someone to guide/trek me and pay for my lodge and food myself at fraction of what I see all of these trekking websites are advertising. |
t3_34f6ag | relationships | I [18 M] may want to break up with my girlfriend [18F] of five months | I have been dating this girl since early January. We immediately hit it off well, started dating, and since then we have seen each other almost every day. We haven't had any fights, we haven't done anything sexually, we just enjoy each others company.
I find her pretty attractive, not just sexually, but my main problem is I have never felt a spark. Normally when I kiss a girl for the first time I feel something, but with this girl I have just been comfortable. I feel we're more friends who kiss every other day than partners.
I know this may seem like some dumb teenage romance, and it probably is, but she's such a nice girl. The only thing holding me back is I'm the first person to truly care about her. Her depression went away when we started dating and her mom says she has never been this happy. I don't dislike her, but I just feel our relationship is boring.
She is going to college next year and I am staying home to work and save up money, then move into the military. It just doesn't seem like it is going to work out.
When I'm in the halls I talk to some girls or "eye flirt" and I feel something, that weird honeymoon feeling that I've never felt with my girlfriend.
I know the saying that you can find the right person for you but you won't be the right person for them, I never thought I'd be on the not happy side of it. How can I come off nice? How can I not break her heart? I don't want to hurt her, but I want a relationship where I actually feel something. | My girlfriend has never been happier in a relationship, but I do not have that same happiness. How can I not break her heart or not come off as a dick? |
t3_4rwe8n | relationships | I (26F) want to bring a former coworker (28M) to office party. Thoughts/advice? | I started secretly dating a coworker nearly 9 months ago. He has since been let go (for unrelated reasons) and I have switched departments (also for unrelated reasons). He worked in a different department but I would stop by and say hi to him and we'd have lunch together occasionally.
I invited him to a department party this Thursday, and originally it was just my department- no one in my department knows him. However, another department has since been added to this party and several people in that department know both him and I. I am afraid of gossip and that dating a former coworker will make me look bad. I work in an office environment, and not a very laid-back one. As far as I know there are no prohibitions on dating a coworker, but I'm unsure if I should bring him. Opinions? | Wanting to bring a former coworker to an office function. No rules against dating in office, but am afraid of gossip. Opinions? |
t3_1puzri | relationships | I'm unhappy all of the time and I'm about to "celebrate" my 20th anniversary to someone I don't even know anymore... | My husband (M62) and I (F47) have been married for nearly 20 years. He's nearly 15 years older than I am, and has always been somewhat of a controlling person in terms of his environment.
Our arguments mainly are circuitous, always about the same things, always because he feels he does more around the house and isn't appreciated for it. Not to mention, the usual arguments about money (never enough, always spent on things that are all about ME and not about him, etc.).
I've just gotten to the point where I am sad all of the time, he's obviously unhappy on a constant basis (because he says nothing positive, EVER) and I'm constantly being called every foul name you can think of during shouting matches. He's one of those people who bring shit up from 10 years ago during an argument, even 20 years ago, and won't stop comparing me to a girlfriend he was with for a little under a year who was his "true love".
We only have sex maybe once or twice a month. Never anything but fucking, which is fine once in a while, but not as the only way to be together. I can't remember the last time I was held.
I can't afford a divorce. I'm the only one working but the house is in both our names. We only have the one car and a small savings account. Our son is developmentally disabled (mildly autistic) and lives with us but doesn't contribute financially; he's also very manipulative. | I just need to learn some more methods of pulling away emotionally while being trapped physically in the same space with someone that hates being with me. And to stop crying all of the time. |
t3_p359c | AskReddit | Why is everyone protesting against ACTA now? | Ok, here goes. We all know ACTA is bad and the things in it might lead to a serious breach of our privacy on the internet and so on. But I'm mostly wondering why now?
It first has to go through the EU Parliament in June. So basically we're protesting against something that will be voted on more than 4 months from now. It's all good and well to raise awareness of it but aren't large scale protests like this so early a bit too much?
For example, one of the reasons I think the black-out day worked really well was because it was done really close to the actual voting. It had a huge impact and got a lot of attention from the media just prior to the vote. It was basically the topic of the day so there was no way to ignore it.
Now on the other hand we're starting off with mass protests way earlier. So in a sense by the tame the EU takes a vote the media coverage of it would be very small. Most people that aren't that aware of what's going on would have probably gotten tired of it and others would think the protesters are people with nothing batter to do.
Basically what I'm trying to say is - won't we lose the impact of it if it's done so early? And in the meantime we should try to raise awareness through other means. But wouldn't an event that could be much bigger and well organised at a later date have a bigger impact? Or people are just using the momentum of what has been going on?
It's just that for example the riot in London started out as a protest and went bananas because half the people there had no idea why they were there and what they were protesting against. The Occupy movements really lost media coverage after some time and remained in the shadows of unimportant events. And I really don't want to see this happening here as well. | Won't we lose the impact of such a large scale protest if it's done around 4 months prior to the actual voting? (Though this only applies to the EU) |
t3_cqid5 | AskReddit | I need some help AskReddit, and you never seem to fail. | So I've got a couple different questions, general life advice needed, ect. , such and so. And I'm aware reddit is not a lawyer!
So first, the easy question - is there any way to search some database with your SSN to see any active bank/loan/grant, ect. accounts open with that SSN associated with it?
Backstory:
My dad and I don't get along well. He and my mom divorced a few years back, and I'm now entering collage. When they were married, they opened a Janus fund for me for college, with my dad's and my name on it. Parents get divorced, fund continues. Dad and I drift farther apart, statements stop coming to the house. Dad says they now email them to him. Last statement I was shown was 12/09.
Today, I decided to go down to the bank, and withdraw money from a savings account my dad and I jointly opened a few years back for extra money I had (opened with him because I was too young to open on my own). Lo and behold, the account was closed last month by him.
I now don't know whats going on with my fund, or if it even exists, and Janus won't speak to me at all until I turn 18 (5 days from now)
I also know my grandmother (dads side) opened a CD when I was younger with my name on it...and my mom doesn't know with whom it was opened...I'd like to see if I can find it, because it's like a race with my father, and if I don't take it out asap, it will be taken out by him...
So ultimitaly, reddit, is there a way to search, similar to the "unclaimed money" searches for anything via SSN?
Also for the redditfakelawyers, do you think, if my dad withdrew the few thousand I had in the Janus fund that I would be entitled to it? | dad took some of my money, maybe LOTS of it. I may have multiple accnts with my name on them, can I find them, and would I have any say in the college fund money? |
t3_472zr7 | relationships | Her parents see me as a child | I am [M19], she's [F19] and we both had not any relationship before.
So we were not (and we still don't are) very expert in this. However we also use this relationship as away to grow together.
Here comes the problem. Some months ago I met her parents. I didn't handle the thing very well and it ended giving them a childish image of me. (for clarity. I wasn't disrespectful or something similar. Let's say I made silly jokes etc)
So obviously they don't want me to be her daughter's bf.
Now I think I can say to have changed. I'm more mature and I understand that they want the best for her, that's mean someone who can make her happy and can take care of her.
The main problem is to gain again their faith. They won't allow me to go to their home, even in order to help her to do some homework as we're classmates.
What can I do? | their parents see me as a child. They don't allow me to see her. I want them to thrust in me. |
t3_2seh8a | relationships | My exc[27m] has contacted me [24f]after 5 months of not speaking, I still have feelings but he is violent. | i had started to move my things into his place mid last year, however after three days after he became violent and pretty much made me his sex slave. I was able to leave and move somewhere safe.
Two months later I found out I was pregnant to him and we talked about my decision to have an abortion. He never contacted me after my surgery to check if I was ok and that really upset me.
He has recently started texting me again and it has brought up my feelings for him and although I know he was so horrible to me why is it I still have feelings for him? I don't know what to do. | ex was violent to me, I moved out and 5 months later starts texting me again. This has brought up many feelings that I am not dealing with well. |
t3_yuctu | relationship_advice | [20M] I feel like I might be going about this the wrong way. (with [19-20F]) | I have been going it alone in the single life for several years, and have never really started a serious relationship with somebody simply because there is nobody that I've met yet that meets my standards, and I meet hers. To be honest, I don't even know if I have met someone elses standards before, despite me being a average guy with good personality and pretty good looks.
Anyways, I have had a crush on a girl that I live near for quite some time, but have no idea whether the feeling is mutual. This someone that I have a crush on also has a roommate that is incredibly attracted to me. I like this feeling of being desired, but the feeling is not mutual. I am in no way attracted to the roommate.
What makes it tough is that the roommate seems to be in it for all the right reasons. She and I get along well, we like the same things, she is courteous and polite towards me, and seems to be genuinely attracted to me. I have only been kind to her because I cant bear to let her down, but I feel like I'm leading her on while my real interest is in the other girl.
Am I wrong for ignoring what seems to be a good thing in pursuit of what could be better? And am I wrong for wanting to let this girl down after what she genuinely feels, only to try to be with her roommate? How do I go about this?
Sorry for a wall of text, I just have a bit on my mind now. | My crush's roommate has fallen for me rather than my crush. She seems nice, and I cant bear to let her down, then date her roommate right in front of her. |
t3_2xl5t1 | tifu | TIFU by joking with someone who called my work. | This happened a couple weeks ago, but it was pretty funny, so I thought I'd share it.
I work at a local gym doing card checks for people who come into the building. It's a very easy job with little communication with the people who come in, so I often have a lot of time on my hands. Knowing this, my parents will often call me to remind me of things they need me to pick up on the way home, or when they will swing by to pick me up after my shift. Well, one day, I forgot to bring my cell phone with me to work. The gym had a phone that employees could use, so I told my parents to call it in case they needed something. Well, near the end of my shift, the work phone rings. I pick it up, and hear my dad on the other end. My dad and I have a running joke that when we call each other at work, we'll often ask each other dumb questions about something regarding our work ("is this blah blah department?", "who is this?", etc.). So I pick up the phone, and I hear him on the other end. "Is the gym still open?" he says. Laughing, I reply, "Oh dad, stop." There's a pause. "Is the gym still open?" "Yeah dad, I'm still at work, haha." The voice gets aggressive suddenly. "HELLO?! Is the gym open?!" My entire face freezes. This was not my dad. This was some old man, calling into the gym with a question. I stammer, "Uh, yes sir, we close at 8." "Fine then." The guy abruptly hangs up the phone, and I'm left feeling like an idiot. | Told a man that I thought was my dad calling into work to stop asking me a question. Was not my dad. |
t3_1drc82 | relationships | My[23m] off and on gf [24] of over six years, can it work? | I'm a grad student that met a great girl back in high school over six years ago. We dated for two and a half years and split for a couple months, and repeated that process 3-4 times totaling to over six years of knowing each other (mostly together). There are many specific issues that I would love to discuss with anyone able/willing, but the most important question I have has to do with the area we seem to be incompatible.
We work extremely well as friends hanging out enjoying each other's company and we're great together in the bedroom, but when it comes to disputes she is much too stubborn. She neither apologizes nor compromises when I bring up things that bother me. As an example, she got into a drunken fight and hurt someone. I saw it happen and it really bothered me that she was capable of something like that. She started off in denial and said that she was defending herself (she was, but then took it too far) and I had to force her to apologize to the person she hurt. She would not admit to her faults and take responsibility for doing something terrible. Instead she kept twisting the incident and placing blame elsewhere. I really wanted her to simply express that she felt badly and made a mistake.
This example extends to two other large issues that make me wonder if we can work together. Basically, we are great together except that she doesn't help me feel better when I bring up issues that deeply bother me. She twists things that she does wrong in order to deflect any blame. I have told her that I need her to be willing to compromise and admit to things, but is it possible for people to actually change? I don't need much, but a little effort would go a long way to making me happy. I know relationships require work and effort so I am hoping that I can propose we work on figuring out effective ways to resolve disputes like this, but can it work? Can she change, or are people just the way they are? | I have been off and on with a girl for 6 years and need her to learn to compromise and apologize during fights. I can't take full blame anymore. Can she change? And can it work out? |
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