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t3_3e1qmk | relationships | Met a girl I had a dream about years ago. Totally acted a fool | I'm a male (23), and she's a female (18-21)
The other night, I went with my friend to this girl's house. We were drinking and smoking and it was a good time..until I had a total deja vu moment. I remember being told that timid guys finish last, so when it came time to make a new rule (we were playing Pizza Box), I contemplated a rule about us kissing, in front of everyone.
Of course, she and my friend were a thing and I just said something out loud that was absolutely nuts. It's completely out of character for me as well. But throughout the night, the drunkness and the high gave me a feeling of invincibility. I probably asked if she liked me two or three more times. It was obvious she was uncomfortable, and I was uncomfortable asking her, but as I said, I had a dream about it years ago and felt like I couldn't change the outcome.
I probably completely ruined my chance with her, and my friend was okay with it after i sobered up. "Okay with it" is an overstatement, it's obvious he was pissed that I continually made a move on her.
I've felt bad for it ever since it happened, even after I realized that the deja vu experience was over. My friend and I are continuing to talk, and he said that he would forward my apology to the girl.
Now for Reddit, how should I go about this? It's over now and I can't change it. But I just have a feeling that something happened at that point in time when I dreamt it earlier. I don't know what it was, but it's starting to piss me off. | I continually made a move on a girl and now I probably fucked my chance with her. What do I do? Apologize to her directly (facebook) or let my friend forward my apology? |
t3_kpev6 | AskReddit | Suggestions for Short Story Recommendations for Struggling Readers por favor! | I work with struggling students in a weekly reading program, and the books we have to work with are not appealing to the kids. They are poorly written, unappealing chapter books (and I would read the instructions on a box), and we have to use the same books over and over.
More so, the club is only 1.5 hours a week, which does not give us enough time to read and discuss an entire chapter book. As a result, the kids are not engaged as they could be, and I don't think the books are the best way to encourage comprehension and a love of reading.
We can't afford to keep buying books on that scale so I thought we should try other things. I am looking for some great short stories. The kids are grade 3 through 5, but they generally read more on a grade 2-4 level. They have a variety of interests. They are city kids and many cultures are represented.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated! If you have a story or book that moved you, I'd love to hear about it. | I am looking for great short story and/or book recommendations to engage reluctant grade school readers. Thank you for any suggestions! |
t3_4jny16 | relationships | Just found out that my girlfriend(f16) is talking to other guys on the internet, should I(m16) be worried? | So I was on my girlfriends phone yesterday talking to her friend on kik, but while I was texting I found convos she had been having with other guys. it ranges from "You look cute" to "Hows your day been". My girlfriend didnt mention to them that she had a boyfriend ,but when I asked her about it she said it was nothing and she was just having some fun.
Should I be worried about this relationship or am I over thinking this. Is this normal for girls to do, we have been dating for 2 months so our relationship isnt that serious | MY girlfriend is talking to other guys from the internet calling them cute and not mentioning that she has a bf. I asked her about it and she said it was nothing and she was just having fun, should i be worried? |
t3_3yt7z3 | books | I didn't know Behind the Beautiful Forevers was nonfiction until I finished it. | I started burning through *Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity* by Katherine Boo the other day, and I was quickly immersed in the lives of so many poor characters trying to survive and escape the poverty and corruption that abounds in one of the many slums of Mumbai. I thought it was ridiculous that Boo could create such a convincing setting with an immense web of individuals analogous to a *real* slum with *real* people. I mean how could one person be so imaginative?
As I kept reading, it seemed kind of weird that the plot didn't have a distinct sense of rising action approaching a climactic fall-out like most fiction I'd read. It was more of a perpetual, underlying tension that seeped throughout the story, because the stories of so many in such a hopeless environment were never short of conflict. It still didn't stop me from hoping that the author wouldn't kill off certain characters or that she'd make sure the characters I liked would be successful.
The ending didn't exactly relieve the tension I felt, so I just thought that the characters were meant to continue the rest of their poor lives with this constant struggle. I'm just like, "Okay, weird. I can dig it though!"
Then I got to the author's note at the end where she talked about following these people's lives in Annawadi, and it hit me like a blow to the chest: these people were real. No, not were real, they *are* real people. I don't know why I didn't realize it before (the book is literally described as "narrative nonfiction" on the inside cover), but it was such a bizarre epiphany.
It's odd, because while reading, I knew that people like these and their heart-breaking situations could happen and are happening in India today. My feelings about it just compounded once I made the distinction that these things actually occurred beyond the pages of the novel. I'm kind of glad I got to experience that distinction though. I haven't read much nonfiction at all, but this makes me want to give it a chance. | The book is great, the people are real, Boo is still brilliant, and I'm still ~~an idiot~~ surprised I didn't figure it out sooner. |
t3_47nqnh | Pets | Is it a good idea to take another dog ? | Hi reddit !
I need thoughts about a question.
So I have a wonderful dalmatian named Ibis who became 3 years old three days ago (time flies so fast !).
Well actually he's my parents' dog.
Ibis always wants to be the center of attention, and he always wants to be with us. He needs a lot of time, between playing with him or just cuddle him.
It was really hard at first because, as the veterinarian told us, he's hyperactive. Anyway, we brought him to the dog trainer, and he improved a lot. We don't have any problem anymore.
Before him, we had two other dalmatians, living together (they were mother and daughter). Also he lived with one of them for his first year, but she didn't like him...
Sometimes I look on the national dalmatian rescue centre (I don't know how to call it, I'm not a native...) and once (last year probably) I saw this deaf dalmatian born almost on the same day as Ibis. My father and I almost agreed to take him. But a family took him.
However yesterday I just looked after a very long time and I found that this dog had come back to the centre, because the family couldn't handle a deaf dalmatian anymore... (I read that he's also hyperactive)
So now, I know that my father has enough time and love to take a new dog, however what I don't know is how Ibis shall take it. He's not very social, so I'm afraid that he will get jealous especially since a deaf dog must need more time than a non-deaf... And I am afraid he will become aggressive or something. He really likes to be the one everyone look at.
But I am also scared that the other poor dog will never find a family :( it was said that he needs another pet in the family to restrain his energy.
What do you think is the best for both of them ?
Thank you for reading and would appreciate any insight. | I want to adopt a deaf dalmatian, however I already have one whose kind of 'self-centered'. |
t3_25dkkl | relationships | Me [26 M] with my now ex [25 F] 1+ year, broke up, she has a 2 year old | My girlfriend broke up with me this last week, basically for not enough passion in the relationship. Pretty BS excuse, but it is what it is. She has a 2 year old from her ex husband that I love to death.
My question: How do I handle this with the 2 year old? I love him to death, and he loves me, but my relationship with his mother is over. I know I helped him develop, and gave him stability during an age where it is needed. I assume at this age he won't remember me in a few months. Is that a fair assumption? If it is, should I gradually stop seeing him, until I say my final goodbye and exit his life forever? Do I quit seeing him cold turkey? I want to do what is best for him, and best for me. This is the part that is hardest for me, any advice is greatly appreciated. | GF with a 2 year old broke up with me, and I'm not sure how to handle leaving the kid's life. |
t3_y9dgg | AskReddit | I was screwed out of an education, have no idea what to do now. | Hello Reddit, I really have no idea what to do at the moment, long time lurker first time poster.
So, to start off I have dual nationality. My father is American and lives there, I am British and have lived with my mother. Everything was fine until high school, my mother, a lovely lady, started rapidly going down hill after my brother moved to America. All the way down into drug abuse, and finally bankruptcy.
I was in a good high school, but had less than 33% attendance every year, my grandfather had fallen ill with leukaemia, and we were told he was not going to make it. Fortunately he is still alive today, but I spent most of my time with him for a good while, between taking care of my mother and grandfather, obviously my attendance just crashed.
The next year my grandfather on my fathers side, had fallen ill with cancer, and started chemo, I visited him a lot when I could.
My high school only keeping me on because of my test grade averages. Yes 5 years of highs school at 33% attendance and I was still there. I won't even get into what high school it was, but that's besides the point.
My last year of high school is when my mother fell bankrupt, I had to move back and forth a lot between my mother and my father. Missed my GCSE's, and with absolutely no qualifications what so ever, I was screwed. I was back in England, on a very bad course which got me an D GCSE equivalence in Maths, English and I.T.
I'm 19 now, and that's all I have, constantly berated by my family for not being catholic, not having an education and not having a job. Not by lack of trying, I live in London with grandparents who are kicking me out now, which is understandable I am useless, and hopefully I will live with my father this year.
Any help would be appreciated so much, sorry for my awful writing, I had no education ;p. | I have a drug addict mother who kept a hold of me, missed a lot of school due to sick family, have no qualifications, and need the help and some guidance of one of you amazing Redditors. |
t3_195wbs | relationships | I'm [17f] having issues with family dinners. | Most of the time, the house consists of me [17], my mom [49], and my sister [19]. My sister has always been incredibly judgmental and nosy towards me (self-confidence issues and wants to appear better than me, I don't really care), and I can handle it when it's just the three of us. When her boyfriend comes over [19] it amplifies and I'm constantly being ganged up on and bullied. They judge me for ridiculous things, they're mean to my dog and yell at her and put their hands in her face, and I'd rather just not come down to dinner. I'd rather stay up in my room with my dog where we won't get harassed, and my mom feels the same way. She can't even stand to look at him anymore because of how much disrespect he has for *everybody*.
It's not so much an issue of the dinner itself -- it's just being put in the same room with everybody and having the obligation to stay there for a while. My mom and I consciously stay away from the two of them throughout the day for this reason. It breaks her heart that she has to sacrifice being around her daughter to avoid being around him.
I've spoken to my mom about me not coming down to dinner when he's here, and she gets upset. She says that "family has to stick together", meaning her and me. I would love to eat with her, but I hate being around them.
So far I've come down every time I was asked. I just hate it and I don't know what to do. | My sister and her boyfriend are assholes to me and I can't stand coming down to dinner anymore. What should I do? |
t3_g886e | AskReddit | When do the awesome perks compensate for the tedious nature of the job ? | I am 35 and I currently have a boring moderately paying job with one of the world's largest companies. The upside is that I never have to do overtime, I have no stress and the company sends me on assignments across the globe for truly fantastic projects (look great on my resume). The downside is that for the largest part of the year (when I am not on these types of assignment) I have a debilitating boring job and I make less then I can get elsewhere.
I now received a job offer from a different company. The upside to that offer is that they pay 25% more and the job they are offering is exactly what I want to do. The downside : no more international ultra-cool assignments (no more shiny additions to the resume) and working a lot more hours. What to do ? .. I have been wrecking my brain all week and I can't choose. | I have a crappy job which sometimes lands me fantastic assignments (best thing in the world type of work). Should I trade it in for an interesting well-paying job where I won't have these opportunities anymore ? |
t3_26s1db | relationships | Me [25 M] with my [24 F] 2.5 yrs, friends for 4, cheated with [28 F] what to do next | Relationship rundown: Me and my gf have been best friends since we met, and started dating a little over a year after that. Been living together for 1.5 yrs now. Our relationship has been very happy, and we have had many adventures/travels together. I have never cheated on her, or attempted to, and vice versa. We have been monogamous from the get go, and have a healthy sexual relationship.
Last week I went to a concert with my best friend (a band we both love), afterwords we began a nonchalant conversation with a girl (let's call her Mary) in the lounge area upstairs. My friend had to go, and I continued to talk to Mary over the course of many hours. I felt a chemistry I have never felt with anyone. She connected with me on a level I don't think I've ever experienced, like we were completely on the same wavelength about our values, beliefs, thoughts, etc.
She offered to take me on a walk (it was her neck of the woods, and I was unfamiliar with the area) we continued to talk and made it back to her place where we had sex. The most mind blowing sex I've had in my life. Anyways, we hung out a bit more and I went home.
I am very confused right now, I never believed in love at first sight, or that you could have chemistry bursting from the seams on all levels with someone right from the get go. I honestly feel like I found my soulmate (If you believe in that sort of thing) I love my girlfriend and she is my best friend, but I wronged her in a way that I don't think she could ever forgive me. Not to mention our families and lives are completely intertwined. What should I do?! | Been with live in gf for over 2 years, best friends for longer. Think I met my soulmate. How do I proceed? |
t3_4f5za9 | relationships | Should I [19 F] break No Contact with my ex [19 M] to apologize for catfishing him? | My ex and I had a very turbulent breakup to our 2 and a half year on and off relationship. I did not cope well and catfished him in a desperate and stupid attempt to hold onto him. He eventually found out, confronted me and I admitted to it. Since then (31 days ago) we have remained no contact.
When he found out he was (understandably) extremely angry. Told me I was a horrible, toxic person, and that he never wanted me in his life again.
I have been working on myself in our no contact period and have been to therapy. I am really trying to turn my life around and cope with stress in a more healthy way that doesn't hurt others. However, I still feel an extreme amount of guilt, and I know how betrayed he felt so I want to reach out to him and apologize. I just am unsure if it would be worth it. I am afraid he will not believe my apology or he will just feel more resent toward me for attempting to contact him.
I do not want to make things worse. I also am not expecting forgiveness or even a reply, but I thought maybe after over a month of not speaking, maybe an apology on my behalf could be helpful for the both of us to feel closure on continue to move on? | I catfished my ex. He found out. Haven't spoken in 31 days. Debating whether to apologize or continue no contact. |
t3_q3dr5 | BreakUps | How the hell do I continue working with my ex-fiancé? | After nearly three years of being together, our rough patches started getting worse. After being engaged for a few months, I suggested pushing our wedding back a year, so we could figure stuff out. She wasn't thinking that at all.
She briefly got some space from our relationship, and discovered that she had been "lying to herself" about it, and consequently broke *everything* off. This was about three weeks ago (I'm 20, btw). I can understand where she came from, because I wasn't exactly the ideal boyfriend/fiancé, but I still wanted to work things out. I'm in a lot of pain and dealing with a lot of anger, but I'm seeing a counselor and my friends/family are more than supportive.
Here's the kicker: we still have to work together, in the short-term. Meetings (with about ten people total) have been terribly awkward, and I always walk out wanting to punch something. Even during gatherings when we're in the same room but working in different areas, it's difficult for me to focus.
I would like more peace of mind during these times... or even some control over my anger, so I can spend energy doing my job well. | I have to work with my ex-fiancé (who broke up with me), and my anger distracts me from doing my job well. |
t3_40eqle | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [21M] of 6 months is absolutely perfect except for the fact that he is non-religious. | Hi reddit! I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible.
I'm completely in love with my boyfriend. Our relationship couldn't be any more perfect. I can honestly say that I could see myself marrying him in the future. We haven't outright discussed our future, because I think it's a little too early for that, but we both agreed that we're in a serious, long term relationship.
The only problem is that he's non-religious, while myself and my family are Christian. For me, this isn't a problem, and I knew early on while dating him that he wasn't religious. If we ever have children I wouldn't push faith onto them and maybe let them decide for themselves if they want to be religious or not. But anyways like I said, I have no problem with this, but I know for a fact that my parents would flip out if they knew. Part of me wants to say fuck you it's my boyfriend not yours, but the other part of me understands how frustrated and upset they'd be, since faith is very important to our family.
Another thing that bothers me is that if we ever do decide to get married, I think that I would want a religious ceremony. I know, I know-- I should probably be discussing this with my boyfriend, but it's WAY to early to be talking about marriage. Although we have an unsaid agreement that we're gonna be together for quite some time, I dunno, I just don't want to freak him out by suddenly saying "marriage"!
His beliefs (or rather lackof) aren't a dealbreaker for me honestly, I'm just kinda looking for advice! Thanks! | I am Christian, my boyfriend is not, my parents will be heartbroken, and I don't know what to do if we ever get married. Advice, reddit? |
t3_2qiutp | relationships | [20M] My [19F] girlfriend got blackout and cheated on me how do I react? | **bold** first reddit post so sorry if I didn't format everything correctly | Girlfriend got blackout made out with/went home with another guy. Now calling me crying saying she loves me and wants to get back together etc. What do i do? |
t3_131gck | relationship_advice | [26/f] New relationship interrupted by military deployment. | I'm using a throw-away here, because he's on reddit too. OK, so I've only been on a couple of dates with this man [26/m], and he just found out he's being deployed in a few weeks. He'll be gone for 3-4 months. I like him, but we don't have enough of a foundation for a long distance relationship yet. There's an extra trust issue, because he's been divorced once. His ex-wife moved out unannounced while he was deployed.
On my end, I just moved to a new city 6 months ago. I had purposefully not been dating anyone since the move, trying to get established in my new home. I met this guy at a party, and did a very uncharacteristic thing for me and went home with him that night. Since I've only seen him a couple of times since then, I'm not sure how much of my connection with him is real and how much is my own build-up of sexual frustration and just a desire to be in a relationship.
So, here's what I need advice about. Should I offer to spend as much time as possible with him before deployment, or is that just setting us both up for a more difficult time over the next few months? | Is it better to spend more time with a brand-new, uncertain relationship before a long time apart or should I just accept that the timing is bad? |
t3_10wxaw | AskReddit | Hello, Reddit. I have a question about the oh so controversial topic of religion. | Okay, so I'm 16, and I know reddit doesn't always take kindly to younger redditors, but I just need advice.
My mother and I always argue on the subject of gay marriage. I believe it is completely okay, and it's not my job to hate or condemn them. I do however, believe in god.
My mother says that I can't pick and choose through the bible and still be a Christian, and that gay marriage is wrong. My argument is always that the bible says that sins are created equal, and no sin is worse than another; so being gay is the same as lying, or other smaller sins we commit everyday.
She had a divorce with my father a long time ago, and i tell her that back in the biblical days, she would have been looked down on, and told horrible things everyday with constant sneering that she would go to hell.
That's what gays go through today. We've came along way in roughly 5,000 years and what was horrible back then is now accepted, because of the simple fact we've... Evolved more and have different perspectives on the world and what's accepted and what's not.
I feel so conflicted because I believe in god, just not all the points in a book that has been edited and retranslated so many times. | How wrong am I to believe in god, but not all the teachings of the bible such as gay marriage is wrong? |
t3_365w4c | tifu | TIFU by making a 9th grade student learn about sodomy | So the FU is fresh from this morning (first TIFU btw). I'm a french 2nd year med student. My parents support me a lot giving me money for anything necessary but I decided to work a bit in order to make some money of my own. Not something huge but enough to enjoy free time and parties.
Being good in mathematics and physics, I decided to offer help for students having difficulties in these fields. Last September, a family called me to ask me to help their son in 9th grade. Everything went well the first time and since then I go once a week to help him.
In France, the education system is a little bit different from the USA. In fact, our "9th grade" is he last year of middle school and then high school only last for 3 years. A the end of June in 9th grade, students have to take an examination called the "Brevet des Collèges".
Today, I decided it was a good idea to make him do the exam of last year and, in France, examinations of past years are called "annales" (the double "N" being important). Do you see the FU coming ??
It happened when I asked the kid to search for it on the internet. He just typed "anales" in the search bar, without knowing it needed two fucking "N"s. He then said "Wihimbe, do I need to click on sodomy ?" before I even noticed what happened. Of course the kid had to use bing which doesn't have a safe search mode as good as google's, so the first result was a wikipedia link for the "sodomy" article.
When I looked back at the computer I looked basically like this [
His mum heard it and came to the room being like [ She was very pissed off and I had an hard time explaining her what happened. She finally understood it and let me live. I am even allowed to come next week ! | Asked a 9th grade to search for previous years exams, Bing showed him the wikipedia article for "sodomy" |
t3_2bv3z1 | relationships | My (18/m) girlfriend (18/f) of 10 months is gone for two months. How to do long distance? | I've been dating by current girlfriend for a while now, and we have started to spend a lot of time together. Like we probably spend 4-5 days a week alone together which is a lot for a high school relationship. We still handle our priorities and make time for friends, but clearly she's a large part of my life, and I am a large part of hers. I know most people say 18 is too young to know, but I really do love this girl, and our relationship is nearly perfect in every way.
She's currently on a 2 month study abroad program over seas and is halfway done. I'm not sure if you can call it long distance since I know she is coming back, but this is still pretty hard for both of us. Obviously we try and call and text when we can, but the timezones are hard and we are both kinda busy.
My question is, for those of you that have been in long distance relationships, how do you handle the time apart? What are some ways to feel close to them again, and how do you handle the physical aspect of your relationship while you're apart?
Obligatory | my gf is away for 2 months, how can we make the time apart more bearable for both of us, emotionally and physically? |
t3_280tao | relationships | Girlfriend [24f] and myself [24m] are on the verge of breaking up... | This has been a rough week. We're quite literally on the edge of breaking up. We've been together for over a year and half. We both love each other, and she has repeatedly stated that this week. We're each other's best friends.
We've had cyclical bickering problems. It really takes a toll on her. We've discussed it a few times before and state each time that we would "work on speaking better to each other". We have what appears to be terrible communication skills.
During our conversations about ending it this week, I realized that we've both had terrible role models all our lives and that we need to re-educate ourselves on how to speak in a healthy manner. She agrees that this is true. To me, saying that we'll work on "speaking better" is a good start, but we don't realistically have any resources to do so. I feel like our communication skills are acquired throughout life, and not easily changeable on your own.
I really want to keep working on it with her, but she keeps saying she doesn't have any try left. However, she still loves me. She came over today to say goodbye. I asked her over and over to go to counseling with me, to at least see if there's anything we can salvage. She refused several times and then ultimately agreed. I'm not sure if she agreed to it for me, or because deep down there's some try left in her. I said if we go to a session, and she doesn't feel it will do anything, I will walk away.
I feel like an asshole. I really think our problems are fixable. She told me that everything else in our relationship is fine, and if we didn't have communication problems, then we would be great. I'm afraid I did the wrong thing though. I'm afraid I'm hurting her more or being unfair by asking this of her. Am I doing the right thing? I've heard positive things about couples counseling, but I fear that the initial session won't be enough to show her the possibilities. | Been together 1.5 years. Communication problems. On the verge of breaking up. She agreed to one counseling session. Is this worth it? |
t3_1h0l4z | relationships | I,[25/F], unable to get over a 6 year relationship, tried to recently date a friend [27/M] and ruined it by dating... | I was in a long term relationship for almost 6 years with someone I was friends with for a very long time. We were hopelessly in love with a lot of issues that never seemed to get resolved. The break up was terrible and I haven't spoken to him since. This was Nov. 2012.
Fast forward, I took a job opportunity and moved cross country to 'start' my life over. I had only one friend out here from years of talking via online. We met and hung out and enjoyed each other's company. We liked the closeness and tried to date.
It didn't work after 1 month, neither physically or emotionally. I realized I still had my ex on my mind. My friend didn't take the rejection well and we are no longer in talking or civil terms as a result.
I was honest from the start as I said I still care for me ex and I truly feel I am not ready for this commitment, but alas I entered it regardless. He disregarded my doubts and insisted he could help me forget him. He didn't and made things worse. Now, today, my mother reconnected with my ex and claims he still has feelings for me.
I am at a loss of words and feel broken. I am not sure what to do. I do care for my ex and want to try and make things work out. I am deeply saddened I lost a friend in the process. I am a far aways from home with no real connection here and both of them are on my mind haunting me.
I want to reconnect with my ex. But in the past I was always the one that made the first move. To ensure an opportunity, I bought him a personal gift and sent it to my mother to give to him. My hopes are that he will call or connect with me to thank me for them and thus starting a conversation of some sort. If he doesn't reach out, should I?
I am sorry for the long story; it's all related as I just feel incapable of human interaction as a result of both these failed relationships. I am mourning a friend while missing an ex. I am unsure what to do. | Unable to get over an ex, dated a friend that made things worse. Should I reconnect with ex or wait until he does? |
t3_1yr6yq | relationships | I [21F] broke up with my abusive fiancé [22M] of almost 2 years. Any advice on how to deal with this better? | About one month ago, I ended my relationship with my fiancé, who I'd been with for almost 2 years. He was extremely controlling, never wanting me to spend time with friends. He also began physically abusing me within the last few months.
He was emotionally unstable after a lot of difficult things in his past, like his parents' divorce and most recently, his mothers death.
I know I did the right thing for both of us by ending the relationship, it was never going to get better. He would apologize for the awful things he would do or say to me, but just keep doing it. I cared about him so much, but I guess it came to a point where I knew I couldn't save him anymore.
I think the hardest thing right now is remembering the good times we did have, and then how awful it was in the end. | Have you broken off an abusive relationship? Does the pain/confusion go away in time? What are some ways to deal with getting past all of this? |
t3_4n5nzj | relationships | My [F48] mom hates me and I've lost all confidence in myself [M18] | My Mom always compares me to my brother.
I'm the smart science boy and he's the unemployed 30 year old. I get good grades of mostly A's and 2 B's. My Mom said you're the only hope for this family for a good future life .
Things changed as i had a chemistry exam and i thought
It was 10th of june. Turns out it was 8th june (today)
I quickly went to school and was on time to finish the exam, it was easy but my mom kept shouting when I came home saying how irresponsible i was.
Tbh of course I'm wrong 100% but then things got tense....
I am now the "disgrace" of this family.My mom won't even look at me and Everytime i come 5 feet of her she talks about how I'm a loser, won't go to a respected college nor get employed.
I already have trouble in having confidence in myself and this just blew the rest of my confidence away. Even my own mom lost confidence in me and the stare of disappointment is too much to bear. | almost missed an important exam and now my mom hates me and I'm a disgrace to her. She said alot of things and now I've completely lost confidence. |
t3_26bfsy | relationships | My SO has severe road rage, to the point where he makes other drivers stop in the middle of the road and get out of their cars... [30m][33f] | As mentioned, my SO has some severe road rage. If someone in front of us is driving like a dick, he will not only match that but escalate it to a point where it's gotten physical in the past (according to him). It's not a rare occurrence for us to be driving in town and the window is rolled down because he's screaming at someone next to us. I've seen him lose his temper at complete strangers, lets them engage his anger for the smallest reasons... but he backs off as soon as it comes to getting out of the vehicle. At home, he has been nothing but stable in terms of temperament... it all comes out when he gets in a vehicle.
It's a tourist town. I give him a little leeway because tourists really do NOT know how to drive in this city, and it's quite evident when the city's population swells to twice its size. However, it's basically a ticking time bomb and I'm at the point where I'm not opposed to him getting his ass kicked for acting like this.
How do I calmly open this dialogue? The only time I've ever tried is when it's happening, and I'm usually not speaking very calmly then.
Does anyone else have experience with this? | My SO has severe road rage. He's going to get his ass kicked one day and I'm not going to stop it. How do I talk to him about it? |
t3_3hsmnb | relationships | My [30M] wife [30F] and I are fighting over night feedings. She thinks I don't help enough. I don't think it's reasonable of her to expect me to help when I work full time. | My wife and I have a newborn, and we are having a hard time working out our night feeding routine. The problem is that she thinks I don't help enough with night feedings. I don't think she's wrong. I don't really help with night feedings other than on weekends, but that's because I absolutely need what little sleep I get in order to survive my work day, which usually lasts 9-10 hrs. I feel like since she's staying home right now it only makes sense for her to take care of our daughter during these times.
I do provide a lot of help in other ways whenever I'm available, and it's not like I'm asking for 8+ hrs a night. We're talking about 6 hours--enough so that I don't fall asleep at my desk or my performance doesn't slip.
I don't think she's being unreasonable in wanting help with this, but she doesn't understand that this is for the good of everyone. Of course, I know with the hormones and sleep deprivation she's probably not thinking straight, but it'd be nice if I could help her understand that I'm not just being a selfish prick. | Wife is upset because I don't help with night feedings. I don't during the week so that I can get enough sleep to maintain performance and not fall asleep during the day. |
t3_1if94l | relationships | I [18M] am moving away to college and don't know if I should stay with my girlfriend [20F] of six months | After a rather enjoyable six months with a girl that I finally found to be compatable with me on multiple levels, I've come to the crossroads of trying to keep a relationship alive when my girlfriends not with me in college, or ending everything.
I'm moving to a university about an hour away from where she is, but I'm not sure how we would see each other and spend enough quality time together after adjusting from seeing each other every single day for six months.
Im also planning on possibly joining a fraternity, which would take even more time away from her.
She's definitely a jealous controlling type and gets angered when I do nearly anything without her, including go out on the boat while she's at work for example.
She's one of the most like minded person to me that I've met in many aspects, but I don't know if its just or because I haven't been exposed to a variety of different girls like I would be in college.
I'm a 6/10 and she's a 8/10 if that makes any difference.
My girlfriend is the controlling type and I don't know how well that will go over with me wanting to go out with friends and experience things with new people.
There is a cookout tonight at the university that I got invited to, but my girlfriend won't be able to attend due to not getting off work until 10pm. I really want to go to this cookout, it will be my first experience of meeting new people at the uni, but I know there will be a fight about it, and then I'll end up not going.
Should I just go ahead and end it and save trouble down the road? I really need help and have no idea where to go. All input is appreciated. Thank you. | Going into college an hour away from my great yet controlling and jealous girlfriend, don't know if I should break up with her or try to make it work in college |
t3_453dzv | Advice | Needing help making a life decision. | I currently live with my boyfriend of 5 years, and i am very unhappy he treats me awfully, he is very verbally abusive. I have been planning on leaving him when our apartment lease is up in a year. (I dont have the money to break a lease)
But today i was offered to live my my great grandmother (102 years old) for free, because she need someone to help her and she doesn't want to go to a nursing home; she is terrified of them.
She offered to pay the money to break the lease. I don't know what to do. I know i am going to leave him at the end of our lease but i wasn't expecting this to happen.
Part of me wants to just break it off and live with her for what will probably be her last year. but at the same time i know my boyfriend has nowhere to go. ( i know that's not my problem or fault but i do still love him as a friend and i don't want to fuck him over.)
And the last tiny thing is, she lives 30 mins away from me. and i currently go to school and work. it would take me an hour or more to get to work or school.
I know this would mean alot to her and my family if i did leave but i'm really stuck i don't know what to do. | I was given a chance to go live with my grandmother rent free, but i currently live with my boyfriend , and i don't want to screw him over. |
t3_3794n5 | relationships | I [20 F] told my boyfriend [22 M] of 8 months that I loved him and he told me he was scared | So there's a little more to this than just what's said in the title... A few things you'll need to know:
I am a very, very guarded person and it has taken me two months to find the courage to tell my boyfriend that I love him. I've now done it on three occasions, very casually on each occasion and had been met with affection, though no words, the first two times.
Last night, my boyfriend asked me for a hug to which I replied, jokingly, 'ugh you're so needy,' and moved closer as we hugged, he said 'thank you' and I said 'it's because I love you.'
Now, I know that my boyfriend has been monumentally hurt before, and we kind of fell into our relationship unofficially because none of us were really looking anything, it was all very organic and natural. I also know that he has trust issues, as he has been cheated on (several times) before.
After telling him I loved him, he held me so tightly and there was silence for a few seconds before he said 'you realise it's because I'm scared, don't you?' I just nodded into his shoulder and he brought me closer to him... We both got pretty emotional (I cried and he held back tears) but it was strange because he doesn't talk about his feelings.
I feel like it was a turning point for us and I can sympathize with him because I'm terrified of relationships and getting hurt.
Does anyone have any advice and/or experience with this kind of thing? It was such a shock for him to even reply to me I was sort of stunned into silence... | Told my boyfriend I loved him, he said he was scared (in relation to saying the three words back), I now don't know what to do/how to feel. |
t3_q1pk5 | AskReddit | lost everything... advice? | So my girlfriend was at the "college art association conference" in LA, and her book bag was stolen. She intended to apply for a new social security card later in the day, so unfortunately just about every legal document she owned was there (green card, old ss card, check books, driver's license, etc.) as well as the usual wallet items like credit cards, parking validation ticket w/ car keys. Also lost was her 'fancy artist camera', Macbook Pro with Adobe everything (artists...), multiple terrabytes of external hdds (some with legal contracts for work), and obviously her browser caches passwords and her local mail client is thousands of emails deep with plenty of e-statements.
Obviously pleas of "hey reddit, be on the lookout for someone with a black bookbag in LA" would be foolish on my part. What I want to know is what steps do we need to take to make sure that our loss here is limited to the financial value of the items in the bag (already more than two grad students can afford...), and not our credit scores and identities further down the line? And how do we best alert friends and family that anything they have ever sent us is no longer private so protect your accounts as well?
So far a police report has been filed, the parking security guard has been told to look out for anyone accessing the car, and all of our cards have been cancelled. What else?
Helpful advice could be:
-list of sites with passwords we should consider changing, so that we don't accidentally omit anything
-steps to ensure identity isn't stolen (ours and friends/family)
-any way to trace the items? laptop is Macbook pro, Magellan gps
-any thing else you could think of
I am not Liam Neeson, and I lack his particular set of skills. But I am a student on the other side of the country and I want to help her however I can. | Girlfriend had bookbag stolen with green card, ss card, laptop containing whole life. How can we minimize the damage, both to us and to family/friends whose information is now in the hands of a thief? |
t3_30g0mk | tifu | TIFU by calling my wife Fuhrer. | Last night, after dinner at home, my wife outlined a number of things she needed me to do as she was quite busy with some deadlines at work. We live in a fairly dynamic house where we both share the chores and responsibilities very equally, and this has never been an issue. However, my coping mechanism is humour, and after a pretty hard day at work, I jokingly said "OK, führer".
Normally, she'd take this with a grain of salt, however I failed to notice our 4 year old son standing right behind me in the kitchen. As I chuckled after saying this, he thought it was funny, and then said, "OK führer", a number of times, and laughed quite hard after saying it.
The glare I got from my wife at that point is indescribable. I think that men have turned to pure concrete after meeting this glare.
Our 4 year old then proceeded to walk up to our 18 month old in his high chair and repeat it a few more times, laughing again each time.
I had to sit him down and tell him that what Daddy said wasn't actually very funny and it was inappropriate and that he DEFINITELY should not repeat it at kindergarten tomorrow.
So, now I'm at work worrying and wondering if he is going to repeat those words. He is a fairly mature boy for his age so I guess he's learnt that he shouldn't and can distinguish right from wrong in a lot of cases, so maybe I shouldn't worry. Big mistake, though. | I referred to my wife as führer and with my son present and now I'm worried that he'll use that word a lot. |
t3_lftqh | AskReddit | I'm worried about my Mom.. | My Mom has been going through a ton of stress lately. My dad and her are splitting up (it is very bad lawyers, Dad lives in Ohio, etc.) And my grandma on my mothers side was diagnosed with cancer last year, its in the pancreas, its the same as Steve Jobs's :(. In September she went to the doctor and they told her something is wrong and that she needed to comeback in November. Basically we are waiting to see how long she has left. But I digress. My Birthday is on November20th and my Mother and I made plans to go to NY. (This was before my Grandma got sick again.) However my Grandmas appointment is that wesnday, my mom will be inviting her brother to come because we are are expecting to here how long. I know how bad life has been to my mom and don't want to force her to New York, however she insist that i would be a relief knowing that her brother is there to take care of her mother. She also says she has prepared for the worst and that she can take the stress. I say she is going to take it very badly when we here the news (unless it is good). So do I trust her or do I put my foot down and say you have to be here. | My mom wants to take me to NY after finding out how much time her mother has left in this planet. I say she shouldn't go but she says other wise |
t3_40i7bb | relationships | I [22M] think im being used by an ex gf [23F] to make her current ex jealous. | Hey everyone I need some advice and am really confused about the situation I'm in.
I started seeing an old ex recently and have been aware that her and her ex of 6 years have broken up and it's been over a year. But the problem is he is still involved in her life and she claims he try to control her and she's trying to get out of this lifestyle he created for her. She told me she is trying to get back out there and sees them both as done and over but she says he is still trying to work this out despite her not wanting to.
We ended up hanging out one night and hooking up and as far as I know things are good. But I have this feeling in the back of my mind that I'm being used to make her ex jealous. I was in this situation once with another girl before where I was used to get at an ex and was manipulated where I thought she was really into me.
Me and her hung out a few days ago for a coffee and I guess she was pissed at how controlling he is trying to be and telling me this. We then talked about us and it seems like she is genuinely trying to get over him and get out again. But one thing that sticks in my mind is that 2 years ago me and her hung out and was under the impression they were on a break and we ended up making out a bit then and hanging out.
I really want to think she is interested but all the signs point to maybe not. I feel like because I'm an ex I'm sort of a safety net that she can keep coming back to me. I'm at a loss I need some advice. | started seeing my old ex. She's been out of a relationship with now ex for a year. He's still involved in her life somewhat. I think I may be used to make him jealous. |
t3_1tvhj4 | relationships | I [19M] just found out that my girlfriend [19F] has been 'Snapchatting' a work colleague a lot. Is this cause for alarm? | First of all I know we're young, but we've been going out for 3+ years. We don't live together.
She left her snapchat account logged in on my phone and I saw a long list of snapchats to and from this one guy from her work who is 20, and there were a lot.. The snapchats also go on until about 2:30 am most nights, even on nights where she's said goodnight to me and told me that she's going to bed at around 1:00am.
I'm suspicious because a couple of days ago she snatched her phone away from me when I picked it up and was really defensive with it, even though I wasn't even using it. She also acted really defensively when I subtly mentioned that I didn't recognise the username of her top friend on snapchat (who she sends the most pictures to) which is the guy from work.
I really don't want to come across as jealous, but should I talk to her? I'm hesitant because something similar happened a year ago and I brought it up only to be told that I was being overly protective and jealous. To be honest this time around the situation is really suspect and I just want an outside opinion. | I [19M] found that my gf [19F] has been snapchatting a male colleague a lot and has been acting defensively. |
t3_29vjyo | relationships | I (21F) cut ties with my on/off sort of boyfriend (23M) & I couldn't be happier with my decision | For the past year, I had an amazing guy in my life. He helped me thru some of the hardest times in my life. He was supportive, a best friend, a rock to lean on, & an all around perfect guy for me. & although that is what I thought I wanted, I never thought he would turn into everything I didn't want in a relationship.
Things changed quickly between us two. I'll admit, I used to lie a lot. Some big things, some small but regardless a lie is a lie. Recently, I've been on the straight & narrow for him. I turned my life around to be with this guy, even going as far as getting rid of my brand new phone for him because he didn't want me to have that brand of phone. But it seemed like once I changed he did as well.
The lies he told started getting more & more serious. & I started catching onto things he lied & manipulated me into believing in the past. Talking to multiple girls, one of them being my old best friend, another being a girl he has had constant contact with throughout our entire relationship. This man ended up being the complete opposite person than the one I fell in love with. I can truly say, I've never had someone put up a front as if they were someone else for so long & get away with being so fake.
& for that reason, I'm so happy that I'm not with this guy. He can move on & have all the girls he wants & I still get to live my life & find someone perfect for me while I'm still young & have the chance too. No hard feelings from me! | my ex turned out to be the complete opposite of who I thought he was & for that I'm perfectly content with losing him |
t3_3riqar | relationships | Me [30 M] with my [30 F] 7 years together, We normally are good except when she gets mad. | I consider my girlfriend my best friend and our time living together has been great for the most part. Sometimes during our fights her nasty side comes out.
Occasionally, like all relationships we have our fights. We are usually good at talking about our issues openly afterwards and find mutual ground. I think its been a very health relationship actually, I feel there is a lot of love between us.
My problem is that sometimes she gets especially angry at me and lashes out. The last fight we had she said things like she "hates me right now" and that I should "fuck off". She then stormed out of our apt and didn't come back for about two hours. I have NEVER treated her in this manner. Just to be completely
honest, I get mad too and I shout but I believe I remain respectful. She has been nasty like this to me before when we fight and she would apologizes afterwards. My issues is that I see these attacks as really hurtful. The apologizes do not mean much now because she keep flying off the handle and says hurtful things.
I see this as abusive behavior. It goes beyond what I believe is acceptable between two people in a relationship during a fight. I don't know what to do. We usually are really good but I don't like be disrespected like this. Its not healthy but she keeps doing it when she gets really mad at me. | My G/F says verbally abusive things to me during a fight that hurts my feelings. We've spoken about it before and she keeps doing it. What can I do to help us get along better? |
t3_3pkwtb | relationships | Me (24/F) with guy I've been dating (26/M). Introduced me to all his friends, but won't tell family about me? Confused about where I stand. | I've recently been seeing this guy for the past month- month and a half. It started out super casual, we went into it with no real expectations. "Whatever happens, happens." We ended up really clicking, and have been seeing each other exclusively since then.
I'm not really too sure what to call our relationship, or where I stand. We aren't in an official relationship, we both decided that it might not be a good idea right now. He lives a few hours away, and I'm going through a kind of stressful, transitional period in my life. But at the same time, I feel like it's a little more than just casual dating. During the weekends, I usually end up spending time at his place. I've met all his friends, which is a big deal apparently. He holds his friends very highly, and the majority of his previous relationships had been kept separate from them. We text each other throughout the day, and call each other constantly. He's doing a lot of things he's never done before with me, which is surprising both of us.
But there is still some secrecy, though. He doesn't post anything on social media about me. He told me that when he visits his family for the holidays, he hopes they don't ask about his personal life, because he doesn't really wanna tell them about me. He doesn't really feel comfortable about me telling my family about him, either. And truth be told, he kind of brought this up on his own. I'm not really sure what to think about this. On the one hand, we have actually known each other since our childhoods, but we were never close. So that might be awkward? I also don't know if he's ever introduced past girlfriends to his family, either. And none of this is a deal breaker, by any means, I just don't want to overstep my boundaries (so to speak). | met all his friends, which is something his previous girlfriends haven't done, but doesn't want to bring me up to his family. not sure where I stand or what to call our "relationship". |
t3_3dwhlw | relationship_advice | My wife [29F] of 7 years stopped having sex with me [29M] about 3 months ago and I just found out why | So we've been been married for almost exactly 7 years now and a couple for 10+. We both have successful careers and are co-breadwinners. We have a 3 y.o. daughter and a 10 m.o. son. We live a comfortable life and our relationship is healthy otherwise.
When we first started dating, we had great sex. It was frequent and adventurous. The only odd part was that she never orgasmed and still hasn't to this day. She has always said that sex feels good, but just not good enough to orgasm. I encouraged her to 'explore' her body so that she could figure out what she enjoyed - then she could help me help her!
Another important detail - she was raped by a friend in college and never reported it or chose to pursue it. She shared the incident with very few people, not even her parents. Over the years I've encouraged her to see a therapist, maybe that experience is part of the problem too. Depression runs in her family (mom and sister have dealt with it) and we're both psych undergrads so I don't underestimate the rape incident or the possibility of depression.
Fast forward a few years and we got married and had two kids. As you can imagine, sex slowed down (maybe once every two weeks) and now we haven't had sex for 3 months. Tonight when I initiated (which I literally always do), she finally said it was because she was too fat and disgusting. She's used other excuses in the past, like she's too tired or she just doesn't feel close to me. I know she feels bad because shortly after retreating to our room she texted, "I'm sorry I'm a bad wife." I guess I'm not sure what to do - I love my wife and family and need your help! | My wife of 7 years no longer wants to have sex with me because she's convinced she's too fat and disgusting. |
t3_1eg8rj | relationships | I [23 F] hit my friend [23 F] while I was drunk, and I don't know how to make it up to her. | I should preface this by saying that I have never hit anyone out of anger prior to last night.
Last night me and my best friend of 10 years went to a concert and I got very drunk. Everything in the beginning was going really well and we were having a great time.
We left the concert and were walking back to our hostel when we stopped to talk to some strangers on the street. One of them reminded me of a guy I know back home that I have always wanted to hook up with, so I started chatting him up and making out with him. My friend got tired of talking to the other people and grabbed me to leave. I was upset because I wanted to have sex with this guy but I reluctantly left with her.
For some reason I kept getting madder and madder about it. And then I slapped her as hard as I could on her arm, immediately felt awful, and told her to hit me back. She barely even nudged me.
I have apologized profusely and told her how NOT OKAY that was of me to do. Especially because she was just looking out for me. She says that she isn't mad at me, but I feel like I need to do something to make up for it and I am scared that she wont trust me as much as she did before this incident. Is there anything I can do for her/ say to her to let her know it won't happen again? | I slapped my friend on her arm whilst drunk because she dragged me away from a dude I wanted to sleep with. I need advice on how to make it up to her. |
t3_ip55d | AskReddit | Lost airsure (traceable) letter what can I do? Does anyone work for royal mail? | About two weeks ago I sent a letter via "airsure" royal mail to go from the UK to Canada. It was supposed to get there in 4-7 business days but it has not arrived. The airsure service is supposed to be their more secure option that is "traceable" the whole way. I sent about $2000 in checks that cannot be reissued - which in hindsight have used courier. The only thing that royal mail can tell me is that according to the tracking it has not left the post office it was sent at. I have been to the post office and they said that all letters have to be accounted for so that they are not missed when they leave the post office and therefore they believe it must have left. I am fairly certain i know what happened. The employee that served me put the letter to go out with the general 1st class mail and therefore it has got mixed in. Apparently the post office manager said that they are supposed to place the letters in a box under the table, however, i observed the letter being put in a bag in the back. There is a return address on the letter. I would do almost anything to get this letter back even offer a reward. To make this sting a bit more these are bursary checks for university!
Anyways here are my questions
- What would happen to a letter if the above happened?
- How hard will they actually look for it if I do go ahead and make a claim?
- Is there anything else I can do? | Sent a letter with $2000 of non-reissue-able checks via the traceable Royal mail airesure service only for it to be lost. |
t3_3gyi5m | relationships | Me [34 M] with my GF [46 F] of 3y; My feelings about kids are changing; don't know how to address this. | My GF and I have been together, on and off, for around 3 years. We've had some significant breakups during that time, but always got together again.
She's always been clear that she's past the point of wanting to have children, and up until now I've always been perfectly happy with remaining child-free. I've never been particularly bothered about the idea of having kids and I've always reassured her that her and her two cats were enough for me.
Recently, though, a lot of friends around my age, and a couple of cousins, too, have started families. The more I go and visit these people and their newborns, and the more I've started to really look at how it affects them and changes their attitude to the world, the more I find myself thinking that I actually would quite like to be a dad. In fact I'd very much like to be a dad.
A couple of weeks ago a mutual friend of ours gave birth to her first child, and my GF burst into tears at the news — partly out of happiness (she cries when very happy) and partly because she knows that she's not going to be in a place to have kids (her words, not mine). She's about to start an art school course — following her dream to become an artist — and has no intention of starting a family, ever.
At the time I wasn't really sure how I felt about the whole thing, so I reassured her that I loved her and that it didn't matter. But now I'm realising that it does, and I don't know how to address it with her.
Bonus complication: she's just moved home and obviously that's been stressful. I partly want to just keep this to myself but I know she'll be able to tell that it's bothering me. We don't do well when we keep things from each other.
I'll be seeing her tonight and this is eating away at me. Do I address this now, or do I keep it under my hat for the time being? | GF doesn't want / is past the point of wanting children. I'm starting to think that I do. I don't know how to address this with her. |
t3_4ar6jg | offmychest | I fucked up. Big time | Holy shit. I just had the worst interaction with my brother, and he didn't even seem angry. I am in highschool, he is taking a semester off from college. My whole family knows that he smokes weed, but I dont smoke. I found weed on his windowsill, and because he was visiting his college friends in another state I told him the story. He said it was really old, and I should flush it. I felt like it was a waste of 7 grams of what looked like good weed, but I did it anyway. He called me about 30 minutes ago asking if I could look under his sheets for some stuff that he had left. I said yeah, and asked him what he was looking for. He said 2 bags of weed that he had left in his room. He then went on to describe the two bags I had flushed earlier. It was $120 of high quality stuff. He tried to assure me that it was his fault, but because I am constantly worried I blamed myself. I cant get over the fact that I flushed $120 of my brother's weed. | I was accidentally told to flush $120 dollars of weed, and after figuring out I flushed his stash my brother didn't react. |
t3_3ipw7o | college | Has anyone ever transferred and hated it? | Yo. Last semester I was a freshman who was unhappy with college. I had friends, a wonderful girlfriend, and even made deans list. Despite all of these things I was still unhappy in general. I came to the conclusion that my university was making me upset and that I should change something about it. Well I ended up transferring and now I'm more miserable than ever. All I do is think about my old university and the friends I had there. I'm considering transferring back to my old university after this semester ends. Has anyone done this before? I can't even imagine what my family will think. | Transferred to a different university and hate it. I want to transfer again back to my old university. Just wondering if anyone could give me some advice because I have no one to talk to. |
t3_32uhbg | offmychest | "Friend" Roommate Screwed Me Out of $$$ | My friend and I moved into a house 2 years ago. Eventually, she moved-in her BF without saying anything. He was over every weekend + every-other-weekday. Never offered any $$$ for Rent or Utilities. Most inconsiderate people ever.
When I moved out, she stayed to move him in more officially. But since they can't afford the rent, they had to move another person in. Sucks to be that third wheel: I know first hand. Our landlord made us sign a document that said we would settle the return of my 1/2 of security deposit between ourselves. Should have been a red flag.
She sent me a list of things I owed (I didn't live in the house for the last month of the lease but I still paid full utilities). Included was a $300 bill for mowing the backyard. Coincidentally, she just so happened to have thrown a party after that work was done, 6 weeks after the lease ended.
I told her I'd allow $100 to mow the yard (tiny yard), and I should get at least $100 back. Never heard back from her.
I'm getting off easy, though. After she moved out of the house where she shared a bed with her ex for 6 months, she stuck him with $1500 in damages caused by her dogs. Handed him a check but then went and canceled it the next day. That should have been yet a bigger red flag.
Just really frustrated that she feels like I owe her anything after she moved in a dude for 6 months. | The saying is true, kids. Don't move in with friends. Also my fault for ignoring that advice. |
t3_3w2g9b | relationships | Girlfriend [22F] of 3 months told me [18M] of planned sleepover with a guy and another girl. | Hi! I knew my girlfriend as a close friend for about a month until she confessed her feelings towards me. We talked more intimately and deeper with each other. Fast forward to today. We play dungeons and dragons with a group at a local card shop. In the group, there's a guy who hangs out with her to chill usually with his roommate or another friend. I was fine with this until I heard about how he planned to have a sleepover with her and a close friend they both knew because his roommate would leave by then and he would be lonely. It's planned for 3-4 weeks later. I know this guy is onto her. This guy has been through a lot emotionally and she just wants to be there for him. They've been texting each other about dnd and hanging out for a while now and it gets me worried. He knows that her and I are together. I don't know what he'll do at this sleepover. What do I do Reddit? | Girlfriend has been invited to a sleepover with him and another female friend. I know he's onto her. What do I do? |
t3_37n1kc | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF(ex) [19 F] 2 years, I kissed another woman, have come clean, GF says I should win her back. | English is not my first language, so bear with me please.
I'll try to keep it short. I've been in a great relationship for almost 2 years with a wonderful woman, we've obviously had our ups and downs, but we've worked trough them until now.
Three months ago I kissed another woman at a party. I had been going trough some personal issues, and at the time my life wasn't that great. I started to question the relationship then, and I was drunk at a party, where I talked about it to one of my female friends. We talked for a while, and she then kissed me, and I didn't stop her until i really realized what was happening - then I went home.
I decided NOT to tell my GF, as it didn't emotionally mean anything to me (I know i should have done now...) I've felt awful about since then, and told my GF about it yesterday. She was really upset (so was I), after some talking we went to sleep.
The next day we talked about some more, and she decided to end things between us, however, told me that she still loved me, and that I could win her back. I don't really know how to do that, and what it means to be honest. I feel really guilty, and I know it will be hard for both of us if we get back together.
So I guess I'm asking for what to do next? How do I "Win her back", and how can you recover from this? | I kissed another woman, GF broke up with me, but says I can win her back if I try. How do you do that? What should I do? |
t3_19dakx | AskReddit | Professor won't accept my work and/or hasn't responded to my email. | I am doing online English 101, and my professor claims to not accept any late work. The work is submitted through the online system and refuses work when the time is up. The assignment I'm working on is a book report with a one page essay. Took me the whole damn day to finish.
The work was due by Saturday 9:00pm. I had finished a couple minutes earlier, but forgot to upload it. I remember at 8:58 and freak out/commence to open upload page. It is now 8:59 and I'm relieved to see I can still upload it. So I go ahead and click on the "Turn in assignment" link.... Shit. It sent me to a "Page not recognized."
I click back and try again.... The fucking upload link was gone! By this time it is 9:00 pm already. I fiddle with the page a little and get tired of not finding the link.
I start typing a message and attach the work and send it by 9:07 pm. I | 'ed what happened. As I am checking my email now, I see that I attached only part of the work without the one page essay. |
t3_li4ua | relationship_advice | How soon is appropriate to 'come out' with a new relationship after ending a very long one? | I have posted here in the past for relationship advice and it involved ending a nearly eight year relationship. Anyway I have no regrets about this decision and am thankful for the comments here that helped me reach that point.
A few days after I broke up with my last boyfriend (call him J) I got chatting with a friend of mine (call him B, known each other about three years but only really in a group setting due to a shared hobby) about everything as he was in a similar situation earlier in the year after his marriage ended. He invited me to stay at his place so I didn't have to stay in the place me and J were sharing whilst I looked for a new place (found one within a week in the end so moved straight out). Anyway, one thing lead to another with B and we ended up sleeping together.
A few months later I am incredibly happy with B and whilst I have no idea how things will play out in the future as it is early days we have decided to be in an exclusive, committed relationship as things are going so great after a few months.
Anyway, I realise this might be very hurtful to J if he found out as he did not want to break up (and I have heard from my mother who keeps in contact with J that he is doing very badly after our breakup). So I have been keeping things with B under wraps though this is becoming increasingly difficult the more involved in each other's lives we get. So, I am wondering at what point do I have to stop worrying about J finding out that I am in a new relationship? We share a lot of mutual friends that I have really been keeping this information from, especially me and B's interactions on Facebook (I have a group set up with me and J's mutual friends that I can block from seeing things about me and B). But I don't think this is fair on B in the long term to be 'hidden' as such though he does understand the situation I am in and realises I have to be respectful to someone I shared a very long period of my life with. Any advice would be appreciated thank you :) | recently ended an 8 year relationship, and very quickly entered a new relationship. When is it ok to stop worrying about my ex finding out about this? |
t3_37ozat | relationships | I [31/F] have known this person [33/M] for almost 12 years, how do I suggest giving it the old college try! | We first met when I was young, we pretty much just had a beneficial relationship. Fast forward 6 years and we run into each other once again. Then ensues another sexual relationship until I met somebody.
Post breakup with that somebody, I have now ran into him again and we have began another bout of fooling around together. I just find the attraction is there but not sure how to bring up possibly giving it a good ol college go. He is a good person and we do get along quite well and after all this time are still very much attracted to one another.
Does anyone have any experience with this? Any advice that may help? | Have been hooking up on and off with the same person for 12 years. wondering if it may be worth giving it a good ol college try? Any advice for me? |
t3_27l3zx | relationships | I [21M] am Meeting My Girlfriend's [22F] Mother | Hello,
I am a 21 y.o. male college student, and I will meet my girlfriend's [22F] mother soon. My girlfriend and I have been dating for approximately half a year. She has turned out to be quite special and lovely, and I anticipate being with her for the long run. Fortunately, she feels the same. Thus, I would like to get to know her mother as well. They are extremely close, and my girlfriend often tells me about her mother's life and past. Similarly, her mother knows quite a lot about me as well.
As expected, I am a bit nervous, and I want my girlfriend's mother to approve of me.
I seek your advice because I've never met an "American" parent. I am asian, and my past girlfriend was too. Therefore, I had no problems with displaying proper etiquette, speaking respectfully, etc. How do I greet her mother? Should I shake her hand or give her a light hug? How should I address her? Simply put, what's appropriate and what's inappropriate? Is bringing a small and non-overwhelming gift okay?
FYI, I have grown up in this country. However, my friends have been primarily asian, so I am familiar interacting with asian parents. Also, not being a thug and good student was the only quality needed for approval by my American friends' parents.
Thanks! | I am meeting my girlfriend's mother. I do not know what is proper and improper since this will be my first meeting with an "American" parent. |
t3_q3m55 | AskReddit | Does anyone know how to intervene/hack screen share on Macs? | So i'm taking a 2-D design art class this semester, and we work mostly on mac computers. The teacher gives roughly a 4 hour lecture with the use of "Screen share" which allows her to as it suggests share her screen to our computers. Now a friend and I want to really mess with this teacher because she is 1. out of her mind, and 2. completely boring. We thought it would be funny if we could somehow while she's screen sharing all the computers, that we somehow be able to also control the screen and basically mess with her by moving the mouse slightly, or drawing obscure things she wouldn't usually do while she's trying to give a demonstration to the class on what needs to be done. Now if it's even possible, i also want to know if we can get her to do a screen share, but everyone else is screen shared to my computer, and i'll do my best to go along with what she's saying, but add more humor and innuendo to it. | I'm looking for someone who knows how to allow my computer to intervene the teacher's computer when she does screen share. |
t3_4db36g | relationships | My (21F) sister's (35F) son (6M) is beginning to lie, steal money, and talk about sex. The rest of the family is fed up with him, but we don't know what to do. | **Background story** My oldest sister, 'Alice' is diagnosed with schizophrenia. The seriousness of her illness is usually on and off every few months, and it also depends on whether she's frequent with her medication. Every time it becomes serious, she becomes violent and dangerous to the point where doctors have to step in. She is now taking medication through regular injections.
Alice has two children, with different fathers. One has taken full custody of her daughter (9F), and the other has run off. Because of her illness, my mum (55F) has taken full guardianship over her son, who is now 6.
'Jack', has been very naughty since a young age. He would scribble on walls, throw the controller into the toilet, mess with stuff in my room without me there. We do tell him off in these cases, but we generally can't overstep our boundaries because 1) Jack is not our son, 2) Alice will become violent with us if her illness has worsened.
Recently, Jack told Alice's boyfriend that, quote, "Mum's cheating with you and sleeping with a homosexual". This resulted in a major fight and me having to call the cops. Jack soon realised his white lie was going to get him into big trouble, so he began crying his eyes out. His mum forgave him and they all went on like nothing happened.
A few days later my parents went out for a walk in the evening and they forgot to lock the doors to their bedroom. Jack sneaked into their room and stole all of my mum's money in her wallet. He then hid it in his mum's room.
We're all concerned with Jack and the path he is leading. What can we do? Who can he talk to?
I was thinking we should contact his teacher first, but will they call child services on Jack? We're also scared of raising this issue with Alice because she will think we're accusing him of being mentally sick and refuse to let him see anyone/seek treatment. | Jack is stealing money, telling lies and talking about sex. He is only 6 and his schizophrenic mother won't do anything about it. Can I/my mum step in and seek help? |
t3_254u5t | relationship_advice | [17m]In love with a girl[19f], and I don't know what to do. | I met the most amazing girl some time ago, she's smart, fun, I'm happy when I'm just around her.. And she doesn't see me that way, it kills me inside that this girl is in my mind. Honestly I really thought at first it was a simple "Oh a cute girl. Yea I'd like her.", everyone has the moments of spontaneous like when they are my age, 8 months later and I don't even want to think about another girl, I can't tell if its just annoying to me now or if I really need to try to set something in motion. Shes a great friend and shes helped me a lot, but it also means she knows what the worst of me is. I don't know what to do but I'm helpless when it comes to her. I still draw a blank sometimes when we are talking. It kills me to think of this girl being with another guy. | I like a girl, and I don't know if I need to find a way to forget her, or a way to show her how much she means to me, what should I do? |
t3_srgfs | loseit | How do I count calories? | So I just started my 4th week of the Insanity workout, and while I feel like I am getting a good workout every day, I don't really feel like I am losing much weight. Now, I'm not expecting to get ripped and in shape in a month, but I really am not seeing very good results, even less results than when I just ran every other day.
Anyways, from what I have read, it seems that when trying to lose weight dieting is like 80% of the process and whenever someone talks about dieting they immediately say how you should count calories. Well my question is, how can I count every calorie? I mean it is easy to look at a can of food or the back of something to see the nutritional information, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is foods that are homemade, provided by a school, etc. How do I accurately count those? Do I just estimate? I feel like doing that defeats the whole purpose of counting calories though.
How do you guys do it? | I don't know how to count calories in foods that don't come straight out of the bag or box (i.e. homemade). How do you do it? |
t3_4jrejq | relationships | I [27m] cannot stand my mom [44f]. She's racist, pulls embarrassing public stunts, and takes every opportunity to (try to) make me feel guilty about something. | Let me start off by explaining that I've lived across the country from my mom for about 5 years, so my relationship with her is over the phone. Also worth noting is that she's an alcoholic with bipolar disorder.
She loves negative attention. She'll call repeatedly at 2 in the morning on a week night, or text me with some kind of guilt trip bullshit. She's almost always drunk when we talk.
She'll call me while in the movies and drunkenly make fun of the movie quite loud. If I stop answering she'll keep calling and leave voicemails.
She also has a habit of telling me she's going kill herself and then turning off her phone (knowing I have no other contacts in her town) and then call back later and act as if nothing happened, and will try to make me feel guilty if I bring it up.
Just the other day she calls me while eating Chinese food and she's laughing and making fun of the staff yelling "ching chong ching!" She's also racist towards blacks, and she'll complain to me loudly about her roommate right in front of her that she won't agree on her racist views.
She also calls my dad (who has been has not wanted to talk to her since my conception on prom night) and makes an ass out of herself, or my step mom (who has been married to my dad for 20 years).
Another guilt trip ploy she does is to not tell me her new address and then get sad when I don't send her holiday gifts. This past Mothers Day she tried to play the sad depressed mom who got nothing for mothers day even though she knows she refused to supply me with her address.
I don't even bother checking her Facebook anymore because the last time I did, she was bragging about having gone into the men's restroom at target for the second time.
I guess my question is: How the fuck do I help this person? How do I respond to her constant bullshit? Through all of it I still love my mom but god dam she needs to wake the fuck up. | My mom is constantly racist, drunk in public, and trying to bring me down with her. How do I help her or at least calm her down? |
t3_3cd904 | Advice | Help! Social Security is asking me to pay back money from 8 years ago. | When I was a minor about 17ish or so my dad retired. And he started receiving Social Security. Well due to him not making as much in addition to himself, I also received a Social Security check until I was 19. So I received it for almost 2 years. Fast forward 8 years. I am now 27 and have been working since I turned 19. 3 different employers. With my having been working for the latest for about 5 years. I have have been paying into Social Security since it stopped (being deducted from my paycheck like everyone else who works in america along with federal, state tax etc) In that time I have saved money, bought a car. Grew up like any other human being. Now 8 years later out of the blue I received a letter from Social Security stating I was overpaid by approximately $3,000.00 back then and they are requesting I pay it back in less then 30 days time.
The letter also goes on to state that I can request a waiver.
"IF" the over payment was not my fault (which is was not) and I can not afford to pay it back. Now the issue is that in theory I have money and assets saved which could pay said amount. However I feel like its unfair. How can they have paid me as a teenager/young adult. Then wait 8 whole years to tell me they messed up an overpaid me.
Please give me any advice you have. What should I do? I feel like I am stuck between a rock and hard place. I worked hard for the money I saved and the things I own. Why should I have to give it up. | I received SS from the age of 17-19. I am now 27 and 8 years later they say I was overpaid. |
t3_3c1nj1 | relationships | I [20/M] am struggling to deal with heartbreak from a girl [20/F] who's now interested in someone else | Hey Reddit,
I'm struggling to deal with heartbreak. I was talking to this girl for several months. When we originally met we were super into each other, we hung out a lot and talked continuously. I started to become "too available" or "too clingy" or whatever, and she drift away from me and towards this other guy that she's now hanging out with.
She still wants to be friends, but I can't do that until I can put my feelings to the side. Knowing that she's hanging out with him and thinking about him in the way we used to destroys me, it gives me that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach.
Does anyone have any advice with how to come to terms with the fact she'll never feel the same way? I'm not talking to her, I've limited any opportunity to see Social Media posts, but I don't know if I should start talking to her again or not, as a friend.
Please no "go and sleep with someone else" or "fuck her, she sucks" advice. | Girl and I were super into each other, I became too available. She started liking another guy and said we'd never be anything more than friends, need advice on how to deal with heartbreak/ get over emotions. |
t3_2r6hb8 | relationships | I[21 M] am having trouble with my best friend [21M] who feels left out. | Basically i told him i was going to new york in a week on a spur , and he got upset with me saying that he wanted to go on a trip with me. i mentioned going on a trip in the past i just never went anywhere with it.
he gets upset at me , i tell him i have plenty of money to go on a trip with him aswell on a later date. he is still upset at me, he never brought up plans for a trip , he knew i wanted to go on one, he is feeling left out of plans from other friends but that doesnt make me responsible though right?
am i in the wrong for not inviting him on my trip, i am staying at my friends moms house in new york , im from california, i didnt think to invite my best friend to a person hes never met place.
I feel guilty about this , even though i told him i would do something with him. He isnt the kind of guy to make plans , only mention them, and expect others to make them , what should i do? | Going on trip without best friend , he is upset i didnt invite him , even though i told him i would go on a trip with him on a later date, he didnt make any plans, am i in the wrong? |
t3_1i9jg0 | relationships | ▲ 1 ▽ Just another rant. Do I (21F) have an a**hole attractor on my forehead? 1 ▽ Just another rant. Do I have an a**hole attractor on my forehead? | So today I (21F) went out with a friend (27F), ended up at a party with the two mates (24M) we've been seeing, and once again, the guy I've been seeing turns out to be a massive douchebag. I don't really know what he said, but it ended with him turning around and chatting up the girl behind him with me standing in front of him .
Before this, the last guy (21M) simply cut contact after 14 months, no explanation, just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Before that it was a few guys (20-something M) who just wanted sex but didn't tell me that until after we slept together and dated a few months - "Oh hey, by the way, you're great and all but I just want a FWB right now".
And before that, it was a guy (22M) with a secret girlfriend in a different state that no one, friends and family included, knew about until she moved in with him.
Seriously, do I have an asshole attractor on my forehead? Because I feel like that's a distinct possibility right now.
And yes, I know I'm only young and I don't need a man, and all that jazz, but it woud be nice to know I am capable of sifting through the assholes to find the gold. | Basically I'm fed up with picking assholes, and I just needed to vent seeing as all my friends are out with their boyfriends right now. Cheers for listening. |
t3_1ux30q | relationships | My (m22) girlfriend's (f19) mother won't give her blessing, even without meeting me. | It has been really hard on both of us, as we have to hide this relationship for the past few months that means a lot to us both.
She feels as though her heart is being pulled in two, as she really respects her mom but doesn't want to give me up.
I'm at a loss as to what she can do. As her mom doesn't even want to meet me. She doesn't think I'm successful enough for her, as I'm just a retail manager.
It's tough because even though she is an adult and can make her own choices, her mom's blessing means a lot.
At this point either option hurts her, so I'm trying to find a way to convince her mom to give me a chance. Apparently she is very stubborn and this is not likely to happen. | my girlfriend's mom won't give the ok to date me and I'm at a loss as to what to do. |
t3_2llikn | relationships | Me [31M] with my Wife [29F] of 1 month, how do I get my wife interested in taking my last name? | My wife and I just got married on Oct 18th but have been together for 9 years. She is hesitant about taking my last name, because in her words "feels strange". She says she has gone by her last name for 29 years and it would feel weird to go by another name. She has no emotional or professional ties to her last name. Her father is deceased and he was a complete asshole to her her entire life and she knows this. We both have shitty extended families, she has her mother and aunt, and I have my grandfather and that's really it.
I encouraged her to change her Facebook name to *Name CurrentLastName MyLastName* to try to get her used to the idea, but she still seems like she isn't interested in it.
To me, it is somewhat important that we have the same last name, I am not too attached to mine, so I suggested we change it to something different completely, to which she seemed interested, but it never went anywhere.
She has said that if/when we have kids, they would have my last name. So again, she has nothing against my last name, but she just for whatever reason doesn't seem keen on changing hers.
This is both of ours first marriages, and don't plan on getting a divorce (we even built our pre-nup around this idea, and intentionally made it difficult to file for divorce)
Is there anything I could/should do to help change her mind? I don't want to force the issue, or nag or make it in any way uncomfortable, but to me it makes the relationship seem more final. | Wife doesn't want to change her last name, no real reason not to, what can I do to change her mind? |
t3_420ks3 | relationships | Me [22F] and my girlfriend [22F] are in a great LTR. Although, I want kids and she doesn't. How long until it becomes a problem/is the relationship too new for this to be a concern yet? | Me and my girlfriend have been in a solid LTR for two years. We're both still in education, live together (with our parents at the moment) but have discussed moving out when we can support ourselves. We have most of the same views on the big things and I'm pretty sure she isn't a bitch. It's still early days to be planning a wedding but we can see ourselves getting married if everything continues to go smooth. Basically everything is great at the moment and it seems solid. We are in agreement about most things...
**BUT**
I really want kids. I would be okay with just one kid if I'm honest. And she hates them. Well she says she hates them. But every now and again she will say she'd have a kid with me in the future (she wants it to be mid thirties, I'm thinking more late twenties) But then she decides against having one because a kid has pissed her off or she just doesn't feel like saying like she would that day. And then she's like "meh, if you want one... Okay."
We've already established that IF this was to happen I would conceive and birth, etc. So we've talked about how it would go down but she keeps giving me mixed signals. As for her apathy sometimes when she 'agrees' I wouldn't want to bring a child into a relationship like that. Both parents would need to be in it 100%. Especially since we're gay and these things can't be unexpected so I cannot actively plan to give my future child a half arsed parent.
Now I'm well aware we are both young but I am serious about this relationship. How early is too early to be worried about this? Is there still leeway for her to change her mind and "come around"? When do I call it quits if there isn't a definite decision made by her? I can't *not* have a kid in my life, that's what I want to do and it's important to me. | I want a kid(s). Girlfriend doesn't. And then she does sometimes. And then she doesn't... Relationship is still quite new but when does this become a problem? |
t3_3h0fsg | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [22 F] 4 months- Caught in a trivial lie, but its eating at me. | I know this may be feel alot less important in comparison to other issues people have on this subreddit, but i didn't know where to look for advice.
Long story short me and this girl have been dating for a few months, see each other nearly every day or every other day, staying over often... all is pretty well. Now, what is niggling at me:
At one point near the beginning of our relationship she asked me if i smoked/ever smoked... i replied along the lines of "I tried it, not for me, but i don't mind if other people do it". I then asked her and she told me she didn't but she used to. Whatever.
The thing is, since then i've noticed that on her breath/clothes i can smell cigarettes quite strongly sometimes when we met up. I kept quiet about it cause it didn't bother me, but more recently i have actually spoken up about it an asked if she smokes. To which she emphatically replied that she doesn't and acted like i was distrusting/ accusing her of something. She works in a bar so i just thought the smell had rubbed off or something.... until the other day... i was driving home and i saw her in clear daylight in the street smoking away!
I literally could not give a care about if she smokes or not.... what is really winding me up inside is why shes so defensive. I get maybe hiding embarrassing things from your SO early in a relationship, but she actually lied about it to my face when i asked her. Its such a trivial topic to me, i'm just not sure if its a red flag or something? If someone, perhaps a smoker themselves, could set my mind at ease? | Asked GF if she smokes, she told me no, but she does. I don't care i'm just curious why shes still lying at this point |
t3_28cnn5 | askwomenadvice | [26F]How do you make friends with women? Okay confession: I need bridesmaids and a MoH... stat | Hey so my family wants me to have a wedding reception. (we already got registered/eloped last year) and I've finally caved and sent out save the dates for a reception. Mostly after my grandma had a big incident with her health earlier this year...
So now I got to plan it. Dreading it. This is a strange and scary new world of shopping and flowers and all the things of nightmare...
I'm in I.T. where the demographic is 99% male, and all my friends even from highschool are male (single mostly), typical geeks. My idea of a good time is watching dreamhack whilst playing Hearthstone with friends and arguing who is going to win the Barclay's this year...
I have friends that are girls but not really good friends. No female cousins or other relatives. I got a work mate who would be happy to be a bridesmaid but she is moving to hongkong later this year before the reception date...
so... what do I do? How do you make friends with girls...? What do you guys talk about?
I don't think I have a single woman-friend who I can ask to help for wedding planning... | Tomboy needs to plan a wedding. Has no-one to ask for MoH or bridesmaids. Has not had a close friend that is a girl since I was about 6 years old... |
t3_19c1ru | relationship_advice | My sister (17) is flunking high school. What can I (22 F) do? | My sister is a senior in high school. She has already gotten into a few colleges. However, her grades have been the worse ever. She got 1 F her first semester, and now in her second semester she has 2 F's in important classes. It's not for lack of ability. She skips class, doesn't do homework, and basically gives no fucks.
My mom is really struggling with her. She has met with multiple teachers and counselors about her grades to no avail. My sister regularly yells at my mom when she questions her grades. This is on a daily basis. It's to the point where my mom is having horrible anxiety over my sister graduating. It's not healthy and I'm seriously worried about my mom.
We told my sister a million times that colleges can take back admissions if you flunk senior year, but she doesn't seem to think it will happen to her. As her sister, I feel like if she fucks up, it's her mistake to live with. I'm more concerned about my Mom, who fights tooth and nail to get my sister on the straight and narrow. I'm worried she's going into depression over it.
What can I say to my sister to get her to stop abusing my Mom and give a fuck? Do I have any say in it? | sister is failing multiple classes, doesn't believe she can have her college admissions rescinded, verbally abuses my mom over it. Can I do anything? |
t3_xikka | loseit | Going to visit relatives for a few days. Any ideas how I can still keep a healthy diet? | Hi r/loseit,
by Sunday, I am going to visit my bfs parents, then a friend in south Germany and after that my parents. We don't see each other often, because my bf and I live and work in the North. Every time we go there everybody wants to invite us for coffee and cake, barbecue, etc. I want to maintain my healthy diet, because I have already achieved much, but I also don't want to be disrespectful to the hosts. There also wont be much time to go for a run (perhaps a visit to the open air bath), because we spend these rare days with the family.
I would appreciate any ideas how to deal with this kind of situation, this is my first longer visit to my realtives since starting my weight loss journey and I fear to gain 3 or more kilos among the next weeks. Thank you, everyone! | I'll be visiting relatives, who always cook, eat and drink much. How can I keep my diet (I count calories), but still be respectful for their work? |
t3_1lqqcp | weddingplanning | The month before the wedding: Should I leave weekends open for last-minute planning, appointments, etc.? | My wedding is Saturday, November 2 (yay!). We have almost everything locked in, and RSVPs are arriving.
I am wondering what to expect the month before the wedding. I know I will have final menu tastings with the caterer, maybe a dress alteration appointment, and a walk-through of the venue. But what else?
I really want to sign up for a race (I'm a runner) the weekend before the wedding, but I am starting to think that would be a bad idea, because I'll end up having a bunch of last-minute details to address. And what about the other weekends in October? Should I keep my schedule cleared intentionally, or proceed as normal? | Is the month before the wedding really hectic? Am I underestimating how many things I'll have to do for the wedding, even though I've got all the vendors locked in? Should I keep my schedule clear? |
t3_2omayr | tifu | TIFU by using the wrong email signature after the death of a colleague | So yesterday on the weekend, a colleague of mine passed away. I didn't know her well as she sits in a different area to me and a few times we didn't get along too well (personalities clashed and a few others things I won't bother going into detail about), but nevertheless it was still a sad situation.
Now, the side story... I have 2 email signatures that I use. One for internal emails throughout my branch, and the other for the emails I send through the department. The first one just shows me job title as an acronym as everyone in the branch knows me and what I do, whereas the other one is the long version of my job title.
So anyway, I was asked to write the email to send out to the department to tell them of the passing of our colleague as we do anytime someone passes away (everyone sent me stories and thoughts about her that they had had and I put them together and wrote a nice message at the end)
For those of you curious as to why I wrote it when I didn't know her that well, it's because I volunteered.
So here I am sending out the email to the entire department and I just simply fucked up and forgot to change my signature before I sent it out.
It ended with
"Her death has sparked an outpouring of tributes to her outstanding life. She will be deeply missed.
L.O.L
[insert name here]
P: (XX) XXXX XXXX
Ext: XXXXX"
And that was how I fucked up. I tried recalling the email but it had been about 15 minutes before someone noticed and told me. The thing is, my team understood and knows my job title, but the rest of the department wouldn't even know who I am. I got several emails afterwards asking why I had written "L.O.L" at the end of it and I had to follow up and apologised to everyone in the department for my fuck up. I wish there was a hole I could crawl into and die. I'm still at work for another hour :(
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering... my job title is 'Legal Operations Liaison" | A colleague died, I sent around an email to the entire department about her, ended it with the acronym of my job title 'L.O.L' |
t3_1yxhg3 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my best friend[19 M] and his GF[19 F] of 2.5 years. She is messaging (including pictures) some random guy. | So all three of us have been really good friends since high school. They (Dan and Jane) had some really good chemistry and eventually went into a serious relationship. Throughout the years I have been the mediator in their relationship(I don't mind) and I know basically everything about their relationship. They are perfect for each other and Dan plans on proposing to Jane in the near future.
So here's where the weird "drama" comes in. Earlier this month I noticed someone posting a bunch of random cute videos of cats and stuff to Jane's wall(obvious flirting). So nosey me clicks on his facebook page and sees that he is not friends with anyone I know. I also see that he's from Indiana(save for later) and 22 and totally different than me "innocent" friend Dan. So I'm like "I hope this guy knows that Jane is in a serious relationship with my best friend, better tell this guy." So I message him and tell him nicely. He says something rude to me and then blocks me. I move on and think nothing of it, not my business.
So later Jane tells me that she's getting a nose ring and i'm like cool, send me a picture when you do(I go to college a few hours away so we occasionally give life updates to each other when I can't come home for the weekend). So this Sunday I get a text with a picture of her with her nose ring to me and some other random number that I don't recognize the area code of. I'm super analytical so I look the area code up, it's for Indiana (which is 5 hours away). I get super suspicious.
So what do I do? Do I tell Dan? Do I call Jane out?
A better question would be: Is it normal for people to talk to random people they meet on the internet? | Dan, Jane, and I have been really good friends. Eventually they got into a serious relationship. Jane is messaging some weird guy 5 hours away that no one knows. What do I do? |
t3_1ucnm6 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my [17 F] girlfriend of 1 month, short-description | It's really been more like 4 months.
So, ya'll encouraged me to ask her out in the first place. Help.
I never see my girlfriend. During the 2 week winter break, we saw each other for like... 60 seconds. Her excuses for not hanging out are usually half assed.
She still hangs out with friends on a regular-ish basis. I have no problem with her hanging out with her friends. I have a problem with her not hanging out with me. We're both super busy, I think, although her excuses tend to be weird... That's understandable I guess.
She also seems to be pretty distant when I do see her. She apologized for this a while ago, so I think she realizes it. In her defense, her mom's in and out of hospital with blood clots and other crazy shit. That's pretty stressful for her. I try to be really supportive. When I try to talk to her about it, she says she's fine. She's also been kind of depressed lately. I think the two are related. Her friends confirm this. They say she's been kinda bitchy lately and that she isn't usually like this.
The big picture though...
I feel like I'm doing all the work in this relationship. Communication is kind of one sided. She never makes any kind of effort to see me | Girlfriend won't hang out with me, will hang out with friends. She's going through a lot of stress. The relationship feels one sided |
t3_1j9g13 | relationships | [23/F] my bf[25/m] of 1 year, wants to talk on the phone too long every day. | My boyfriend is really great and I generally have no complaints about him. He is in a new city where he only has about 2-3 friends and a few other acquaintances. So he is obviously a little more lonely than normal so I understand why he wants to talk on the phone often. But he wants to talk for hours on end and never sees to care when there is a lul in the conversation. He doesnt take it as a hint that we've run out of interesting things to say and end the conversation.
I can tell that he is always enjoying himself when he talks to me. I enjoy our conversations for about the first hour. But then sometimes we run out of interesting stuff and we just start talking about what we are doing while still on the phone(i.e oh look what funny thing Im reading on reddit or facebook). Sometimes he just sings a song or hums to himself. Its also annoying when he like calls me right before he eats dinner or brushes his teeth. I dont wanna wait for him to do these things, if we are on the phone I want to talk, not wait for him do whatever he is doing. I've even told him "call me back after your done eating". And he will just do the same thing the next day.
I never know how to tell him that I would like to stop talking so I can do something else. I feel like he will take it as I would rather do whatever else I will be doing that talk to him. but really we just have nothing to say. This happens almost every night. I just dont know how to bring it up without hurting his feelings.
I visit him every other weekend for about 2-4 days so we get to see each other fairly often. I think that if we talked less often our conversations and visits could be more fun because we have more things to talk about. Also he has plenty of things he could be doing. Playing video games reading a book. Browsing the internet. I even let him use my netflix account. | bf wants to talk for multiple hours every night. how do I tell him that after a while our conversations get pretty boring to me. |
t3_fa6jq | AskReddit | What's your worst "crap your pants" story? We all know its happened to us at one point. I'll start. | A few months back I had to take a urinalysis drug test, the kind where you're basically watched from behind while you pee into a cup. Well, I had known the test was coming up, so I had gone out to lunch a little while before and gotten a gyro and a large beverage to ensure that I could produce a sample. I was on time for my appointment, but for some reason I was made to wait. Well after about 30 minutes i had to piss so badly that I left for the bathroom. I figured that I could empty about half the tank and then have some left over to give them the sample. However, this piss was so damn amazing that I just couldn't stop. So after I left the restroom I stopped at the drinking fountain to guzzle down some water in hopes that I'd have to go again by the time they called me into the back room. Well that time came and it was around then that I realized the gyro wasn't sitting very well on my stomach. The technician gives me the cup and follows me into the bathroom to ensure that I don't try to give a fake sample or whatnot. The water that I drank though hasn't had time to go through my system though, so me and this total stranger are just sitting awkwardly in the bathroom while I'm waiting for the juice to start flowing. I could tell the lab hand was getting impatient so I figured I could probably get enough out by giving a little push. The very second I try this maneuver I can tell everything is going horribly wrong. I have no idea what the damage is or if its even visible, but I get my answer when the lab tech asked me if I needed a few minutes of privacy. By now I can feel it and my stomach is ready to send me the second wave so I tell him to leave. It was the most embarrassing thing ever, but luckily I was able to get out of there without a horrible stain in my shorts, although I did leave commando. I ended up having to reschedule the appointment for another day. | Had to take a drug test but didn't have to pee. Ended up shitting myself trying to force it while someone else watched. |
t3_32dgys | askwomenadvice | Need some advice on a situation with a now ex-friend (16/M) | Hi everyone, so I'm looking for some advice on what to do with an ex-friend of mine.
So basically I was friends with this girl who I'll call Rose a couple years ago, and we dated for a bit but then stopped talking until recently when we started talking again as we go to the same college. So after seeing each other a fair bit at college, we decide to chill at mine, smoke some weed and watch Netflix one day. now after a little bit we start cuddling and eventually that cuddle leads to a kiss, which was great apart from the fact she has a boyfriend.. We both realised it was a mistake and promised not to let it happen again.
We met up a few times after that and did the same, minus the kissing. We stayed great friends until recently when she told her boyfriend what happened after which I got a message from him on Facebook telling me to never talk to her again, now from what Rose has told me her boyfriend has serious trust issues, which I argued with him about, when I got a message from her saying to leave her alone, and shortly after she blocked me.
It really hurt as she was a great friend, but I accepted it and moved on. Now comes the problem; She gets on the same bus as me and walks the same way to college as me which means that 3 days a week I'm gonna see her, and I'm really worried about it as I don't know what to do.. Should I talk to her about what happened? Should I stay out of her way? I really need some help on this! | Was good friends with a girl, we kissed despite her having boyfriend, stopped talking after arguing with her boyfriend and now I have to see her 3 times a week. |
t3_3fap0x | AskDocs | **Help** Temporary Prevention for Ulnar Nerve Entrapment Needed | Details: 26, F, 5'3", 135 lbs, caucasian, ~1 week of noteworthy discomfort, left pinky, ring finger radiating into palm below, TFCC tear a few years ago & hyper-mobile joints, only current medication is birth control
The problem began slowly over time as I know i have several aggravating factors. I sleep in the fetal position with arms curled in. Also, when I extend my pinky to hold the CTRL to copy or paste an item it has always been uncomfortable. I credited this to having small hands and my prior wrist problems (gymastics overuse and sprains). As I type a lot at work, the discomfort began sticking around longer after copy and pasting, and now it seems to have stuck around for about a week.
As this clearly feels like a nerve issue, I am taking prevention and treatment very seriously. I will be going to a doctor and specialist to get it looked at, but tonight I leave for a week at a cottage vacation.
I am very active, and typical activities over this week include dirt biking, archery, some doc repairs, tubing and knee boarding. | Is there anything specific, related to these activities or not, that I should be avoiding or doing to prevent the situation from worsening until I can see a professional? |
t3_flfry | relationships | Really want to reach out to the ex for v-day, but i'm afraid it would be stalking | I met an amazing girl, got the date, closed the deal. Everything was going swimmingly for a month or two then I had to go off meds cause of a sexual side effect, spent the next six months in emotional tail-spin and did all sorts of douchy stuff to her (lots that I regret, a few things that I'm genuinely ashamed of).
Finally can't manage my feelings around her any more and walked out. Fired my psych and got a better one, new meds work like a charm. Slowly start to realize what I've done.
Wrote her some letters, sent tickets to see a band she liked, eventually got "please stop writing" and the tickets back in the mail. Basically I walked up to the 'creepy line' and need to back off.
Now it's v-day and I really want to reach out to her but she's made it clear that she doesn't want that (and given what I put her through I can totally see why). I made this forever alone image macro to sum up my feelings: | was a crazy dick to my ex, wish i could apologize but she doesn't want to hear from me because i was such a crazy dick |
t3_11yl09 | relationships | [M23] received an email from an ex [F23], how should I respond? | So I dated this girl in college for 4 years. I we started off at the same university but I had to transfer away to finish the degree I wanted. This other university was 2 hours (drive) away. We got along well but eventually our relationship faltered. She wanted a break and after about 2 months of "break" I broke it off. This happened under the mentality that we each needed to take time to grow as individuals in order to complement the things that were needed in our relationship. I was convinced this would take myself at least a year or more. I maintained a cordial relationship with her for about 6 months where we would meet up every couple months to catch up on things. Having a lot of unresolved feelings about why our relationship even ever faltered, I emailed her expressing this. I got a response and responded to that. All of this communication had the same consistency of tone and depth. Well, my second email went unnoticed. After about 3 weeks I confronted her (via text) to see if she had even gotten it. She said that she did and to look for a response that afternoon. Knowing that she had blown off something I considered important, I told her that her response was not necessary. Now after not hearing a word for nearly 4 months, I get an apology email stating that she wanted to make it right and that she felt compelled to respond to our previous conversation if I still wanted to hear it. She stated that she felt bad for allowing me to feel like I had wronged her.
Is this a legitimate attempt to maintain a good relationship, and if so, should a good working friendship be sought out? Or is this a move to once again regain control over my emotions? | after 4 months of no communication, I get an apology email from an ex, wanting to continue an old, in depth, conversation about us, once abandoned by her. If I should respond, how should I do it? |
t3_23opq6 | relationships | I [27 M] abruptly lost 2 relationships last week and am struggling. Need help/support to heal. | Hi reddit,
I am so lost. My ex [25 F] suddenly broke up with me after 2 years last week and I am devastated. We It was completely unexpected. Although I cannot confirm, I strongly suspect she found someone else (I realize it's no longer my business). She keeps saying she just doesn't feel it anymore and won't offer any other reason for why things weren't working out.
The worst part I'm having a hard time with is leaving our 3 year old cat :( I know it might sound ridiculous that this is what is hardest for me but we've really gotten super close. He spends 90% of his time with me when I am home and it breaks my heart to know I have to leave him. I've got so many emotions going on... worried he'll forget me, worried he won't forget me and get depressed, worried he'll get just as close with the next dude my ex gets with, worried he'll think I abandoned him :(
My ex has offered to let me go over once in awhile to see him. A few issues I see with this is me not being able to get over her by seeing her and also what will happen once she starts seeing someone new? I don't see this as a viable option.
I'm sure others have gone through losing a pet in a breakup. If anyone could offer some words of encouragement or advice that would be awesome.
Another struggling point for me is that she appears to have moved on SO EASILY (we live together, I'm still trying to find a new apartment). It's like she was just able to throw away a 3 year relationship without a 2nd thought. The worst part is that this is only my 2nd relationship and my first ex did the same (breakup with no reason other that not feeling it). So I feel like even though I'd fight tooth and nail for my partner, she wouldn't do the same. The second things get hard or someone better comes by I feel like they give up on me :(
I'm sorry to be such a downer today. I'm really having a hard time. | Ex broke up with me unexpectedly. Losing a pet in the process and it's doubling the pain I'm experiencing. |
t3_2bwt13 | relationships | Me 23M should I keep dating people I'm not super attracted to | For me, I feel the world of people falls into two categories, the set of women I find super awesome, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful, and I totally want to be with, and the rest whom I think are pretty but not quite my type.
I've been dating a lot lately because, well, I'd like a relationship and after my last breakup I'm finally ready. So I go out with tons of people, because of, hell I don't know, maybe the fact my mom kept telling me to give everyone a chance when I was younger. I meet people through various means, but mostly online / tinder / etc...
This has worked great to get practice dating, meeting people I think are fun. It's great to get to know someone and hear a new person's story, I'm genuinely happy to meet some of them and be friends with them. But a lot of the time I'll see someone and think "well, they're pretty but... not quite my type"
Yay, nay? Is it super vain to reject someone based on the fact that when you see them you don't instantly go crazy for them (I have felt this way about exes, for the most part, and never known anything but). I tend to really be into petite small women, and other women (while I'm sure they're beautiful to someone) I recognize their beauty, but aren't super into them. | should I keep accepting dates with people I think are pretty, but not really the type of people that really get me off physically? |
t3_50qjtn | relationships | My BF [23M] made a comment yesterday that really upset me [22F] am I being too emotional? | A little background: I suffer from low self esteem issues and anxiety from years of verbal abuse that came from my parents. I also have hypothyroidism that fluctuates my weight a lot, and I've recently gained back about 20 pounds it took me 2 months to lose.
Lately, I've felt extremely down on myself, everytime I look in the mirror I hate what I see and I feel like I'm the ugliest person in this world. I've felt really disgusting since I gained back weight I struggled to lose due to my thyroid condition not being maintained, and stress about my new job and finishing school. I've told my boyfriend this, and he always tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful he thinks I am despise what I think.
But yesterday we were watching a show that featured a lot of "fake" porn stars, and I cracked a joke about how one of them looked ugly because her hair looked like a 5 year old did it.
He turned to me and said "Sure, if that's what you think." I asked what he thought of her and his response was
"I mean look at her. She's smoking hot, look at that body."
I looked at the tv and down at myself and this wave of sadness hit me and I felt like bawling because the girl on tv had to be at least 75 pounds skinnier than I am. My boyfriend has never even said that about me in the last two years we've been dating.
When I turned away upset, he said he didn't mean for it to hurt me even though he knows the issues I've been going through, but I asked for his opinion so he didn't really want to apologize.
Am I being too much of a crybaby?! I mean i just want honest opinions, am I overreacting?! | been upset with myself since I gained weight back. BF made a comment about how he thought this skinny woman was smoking hot, but has never said that to me. Am I overreacting by being upset??? |
t3_3e61bu | personalfinance | How should I go about paying my bills in faster amount of time? | Hi! I'm a 21 year old autistic who is very deep into debt. I'm so bad in my debt it has become my biggest piece of baggage that I could have right now. I'm finally ready to start paying off my bills so I can be as debt free as I can be before I become engaged to my boyfriend (he's been wanting to ask for my hand but there are some things he needs to do for himself before he can).
I'm not exactly who all I owe because my dad has been taking care of my finances for some things for me. I know I have student loans from Beauty School, a hospital bill, some phone bills, GI Bill pay-back (I was sponsored under my dad but I broke my contract by leaving beauty school for emotional reasons). However I'm not sure on the exact numbers for the Phone, Bank, and GI Bills.
Student Loans: 3.5K$
Hospital Bill: 106$
GI Bill: Appx. 14k$
Bank Bill: Appx. 700$
Phone: ????
Total: Appx. 18,306$
I won't be able to pay very much off right now since I'll be taking 18 Credit Hours of classes at the college I go to, plus an internship, taking away all possible time for a work schedule until December. When I'm able to work, I'll be working 40 hours a week until I graduate, and potentially spend all of my pay checks if need be just on the bills.
My question is, how should I go about paying off about this? | 21 year old autistic under a huge pile of debt bigger than the main character in Confessions of a Shopaholic. Not sure how to go about paying it off as good as can be before the soon-to-be engagement. |
t3_35hp8n | relationships | I [24 M] and my GF [24 F] got drunk, I took her virginity and I drunkenly started playing a console game after. Now she's upset and I don't know how to make it better. | My gf takes sex very seriously and I respect this totally. She had previously been with a guy for 4 years and they never had sex.
So last night we're drinking and one thing led to another and we're having sex. She's reached a point where she trusts me enough and is ready to lose her virginity. It all went alright, taking it slow and her on pace etc. etc. I don't remember what happened afterwards so much (being fairly tipsy) and the next thing I know, I'm playing a game on my console in bed. My gf's asleep and I shortly join her.
Fast-forward to this morning, and I wake up to her packing her bag and she's getting ready to leave. I eventually get her to talk, and she tells me about how shitty I made her feel by just playing a game after we were done and just carrying on as if it was nothing special. She says that it's made worse because I always make her feel special, but for this massive step in her life, I've just acted as if it was nothing.
Obviously I would never want her to feel like this, I told this and how incredibly sorry I am, told her how much I love her and how incredible it is that she's entrusted me to take this huge step with her. There were lots of tears and I said everything I could but I couldn't get her to stay. She said she doesn't know how to deal with this right now or how she feels so needs space.
What should I do? I'm at a loss... I have to fix this, but I don't know if I can and I'm terrified of losing her. Please, any advice is welcome! | Got drunk with my gf, took her virginity, drunkenly played a game afterwards, she didn't feel special, she's upset, we cried, she left. I don't know what to do. |
t3_2j729z | relationships | I [18/f] started talking to a guy [21/m] a couple of months ago and I like him but I'm not sure if I should pursue it or not? | So, we met in June through mutual friends and texted, snapchatted, Skyped everyday. After a while we became unofficial friends-with-benefits but we never really talked about it or put a "label" on it - we just went with it.
I'm too scared to have "the talk" with him and ask what he wants cause I don't want to scare him off. Lately we haven't been talking because I have exams but he is just being hard to read. I can't tell what he wants and if I ask him, he might freak out.
He has said to me before that he really liked me and wanted more time to recover from his previous relationship (they broke up late July). I don't even know how to approach him to have "the talk"... I don't even know if it's necessary. Should I just leave it and find someone else? | met a guy in June, became unofficial fwb, not sure if I should move on cause he's sort of emotionally unavailable |
t3_3goh3t | relationships | He [M 17] kissed me [F 17], and I don't know what this means! Help!! | I am currently in high school, where dating and relationships can be awkward and confusing.
I [F 17] met this guy, Jonah [M 17], at the beginning of freshman year, two years ago. I suppose we became very close friends, but this 'friendship' was definitely flirty from the very beginning.
I had a huge crush on him for almost the entire year.
Fast forward to last year, I dated another guy, Matt [M 17]. We dated for a year and i broke up with him a couple of months ago. I didn't talk to Jonah much during that time period.
A couple of weeks ago, I texted Jonah. We have talked everyday since then. It has been even more flirty and confusing than before. I definitely like him.
Last week we went to hang out with a couple of friends. After the friends left, I was getting ready to leave, Jonah pulled me in and hugged me. While we were standing there hugging, we slightly pulled away and out of nowhere we kissed!!
I have no idea who made the first move. It was mutual.
As soon as I got home, we were texting again. We didn't really mention the mini-makeout-session, but we were definitely both flirting even more than usual. Out of nowhere he says that we should go see a movie this week, I agreed.
We planned the movie, and are seeing it in a couple of days. Is this a date? Or are we going as "friends"?
Also, being new at the actual dating thing, who pays?
I may be over thinking this but I'm so confused on what our relationship even is.
Any advice is helpful! | My 'friend' and I kissed, now I don't know if we mutually think of each other as more than friends or if that was just a one-time thing. |
t3_2qxw8b | tifu | TIFU by being too lazy to walk up a single flight of stairs | So I'm home for the holidays in the Chicago land area. There hasn't been any snow or any precipitation and mostly has been in the 40's the past week, except for last night and today where it has dropped to about 10 degrees F. Typically at night, my parents are in bed by 9 pm and I stay up to about 1 am. During this time I spend my time downstairs watching TV or playing games, but the closest bathroom is up a flight of stairs and I really had to go. Instead I open up the basement door, which leads directly outside (we live on a hill so the basement is outside in the back of the house), and do my business there. Normally I take a few steps out and pee into the bushes but it was extremely cold so standing at the edge of the door, I just did my business right there on the concrete walkway to the back door.
Flash forward to this morning, I wake up to hear screaming. My dad is out running errands, and it sounded like my mother. I run around the house in a frantic until I look out the kitchen window lying on her side surrounded by a pile of boxes. I quickly threw my shoes on and headed that way. Turns out she was taking down the outdoor lights before the snow came and putting them into storage in our basement. She's hurt bad and says she slipped on some ice. I look down and see a unique patch of ice about 8 inches wide and 3 feet long that has a yellow tint and white bubbly foam. Oh my god, my piss from last night had frozen over and caused her to slip on fall on her hip (that she had replaced last year).
That was about 3 hours ago, I got her upstairs to the bath for a while, she had some left over pain meds from her hip replacement, and is currently laying in bed. I threw salt on the ice and removed it before she went back for further inspection. | Peed outside the house last night, froze in the subzero temperature, mom slipped on that pee this morning. I'm a terrible child |
t3_3sm5g3 | relationships | I [23F] just found out that my new boyfriend [25M] has a bad track records with relationships. Should I be concerned? | I just started dating a really cool guy, about 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been going pretty well, and we've been honest with each other from the get-go.
One of the first things he told me was that, a little less than a year ago, he broke up with his ex. They dated for 4 years, lived together, and had a dog together. I admit, I was a little intimidated by that, which I told him, but accepted it.
But for some reason, over the past few weeks, I've been getting more information about that relationship, and I'm not liking what I'm hearing.
To his credit, I am getting the information from him, and he appears to be telling the truth. Anyway, I learned that he and his ex had a very toxic relationship. Supposedly, they both cheated on each other, and it became a "competition" between them at some points. She also got pregnant at some point, because she stopped taking her birth control without telling him, and had an abortion (I'm not clear on whether or not the baby was definitively his). In the final year of their relationship, they broke up and got back together 4 times.
For some reason, hearing the details of this made my blood run cold. Am I right to feel a bit turned off (or...something?) by this? I am uncomfortable.
I told him how I was feeling, and he has reiterated a few times that he was definitely with me, and was upset that his past drama was making me feel this way. He told me that if I had anymore questions, he'd be happy to answer them, etc. But, I admit, I still feel weird about it. | My new boyfriend has never had a healthy relationship, and this gives me concerns for our future. Am I being paranoid or is my concern legitimate? |
t3_1a6ljv | relationships | Trying as hard as I [25M] can to get over my best friend [25F] | My friend Jessica and I have been working at the same job for several years now. From the day we first met I totally fell for her, even though I had a girlfriend at the time. She's exactly my type, we have the same interests, our humor clicks really well.
She has been dating the same guy for 5-6 years (since before we met) and they're happy. Partly out of my interest in her and partly just out of natural kinship (it's hard to separate the two for me), we became close friends quickly, and I ended up hanging out with the two of them a fair amount, as well as her alone. Jessica and I had a few moments where I thought something was there between us - flirty texts, a little more touchy than usual at parties, etc. But over time she has made it clear that she's committed to her boyfriend, which I respect.
I'm single now - my previous relationship didn't work out for its own reasons - and the last thing I need is to harbor useless feelings for Jessica. But I do, and it's hard for me to deal. Every time we hang out (which is now only when she's in town, she's moved to a different city) is a great time but is subsequently painful for me. I'm generally a confident, happy guy but hanging out with her throws me in bizarre emotional turmoil and brings up feelings of inadequacy - wondering, for example, whether things would have worked out for us if we met at the right time...and not wanting to know the answer for fear of the wrong outcome.
I'm trying to be good about this. I don't want to drop off the face of the planet because we are in some ways best friends at this point and she'd know something was up. I don't want to say something unnecessarily dramatic and ruin a great friendship. I want to finally see Jessica as a friend, move on with my life, meet other girls, etc. How do I go on being a friend while dealing with my feelings? | I'm in love with my best friend and am trying to get over her as best I can - how do I continue to be a friend while it hurts to do so? |
t3_29pio4 | Advice | I can't seem to follow basic instructions.. | I'm 22. I have a problem following instructions when it comes to physical things. An example of this is today I bought a pair of earphones. The name of them is Shure SE215. They aren't put in like normal earphones so I had to YouTube how to do it. I couldn't figure it out with over two hours of repeatedly watching the video. Also at work I was required to put together an object for a display. It was a basic thing and I couldn't do it and I was called useless. This type of thing happens a lot. I have trouble opening packages too.
The strange thing is I do fine in school. I have a 3.5 GPS and could have easily had a 3.8 if I wasn't a slacker. I also have an insatiable desire to read and write. I can't get enough of learning new things. I love history and science. I just started a 700 page book on ancient history and it's a ton of fun. So I can understand how to read and write things and how to retain information and understand what a book tells me. But if I'm told to put together furniture or something I just look stupid. So I know I'm not a complete idiot. I also can't drive a car because I get confused as to how the wheel turns the tires. I really would appreciate some advice on what my problem is. | Easily confused by physical things like building displays at work and furniture building but get good grades and can easily understand things in books so I'm wondering why I'm a complete fool when it comes to physical things. |
t3_3plran | relationships | Girl [20ish F] posted an intimate-looking photo of her and my [22 F] boyfriend [22 M] on Facebook. He doesn't see the issue. | This might seem really stupid and if it is please tell me so.
I was scrolling through instagram and got a shock when I saw a black and white photo of my boyfriend cosying up to his female friend. Caption "love him" and "oh (boyfriend) you do make me smile #bestfriend.
I don't know if I'm being crazy but to me just the way it was presented they looked like a couple. It was very weird to see.
She posted it on fb as well and it said that he had liked it, so he obviously thought it was fine.
I've never had an issue with her before so I really don't know what to make of it.
He had told me before that she has an on/off thing with some guy - could she be trying to make him jealous?
What makes it worse for me is that a similar photo cropped up last year with s different girl, and all my doubts about her turned out to be right, with them texting behind my back and us eventually almost breaking up.
Despite all this he's adamant that he literally just leaned in for a photo, it's just her editing that makes it look weird. He said he'd take a photo like that with any guy friends. | girl posted a photo of my boyfriend and her looking very close. Am I being a crazy jealous girlfriend by being upset by it? |
t3_3vvmh3 | askwomenadvice | 28M Have a crush on a barista, looking for advice on asking her out. | Hello all! Appreciate the advice.
I am 28M and I have been going to the same local coffee shop for a year now. I've always thought this girl was super cute but I was in a relationship earlier so I never really pursued it outside of just ordering and being pleasant.
I'd like to ask her out on a date and get to know her better. I am thinking of upping the conversation from just ordering to some friendly banter and maybe a little flirting if I genuinely find something about her cute that day (hair, earrings, shirt etc). If that goes well after a few conversations I'd like to ask her out on a date and I am wondering what you guys think?
I know its hard when two people are complete strangers and I really don't want to come off as some weirdo hitting on her. I've always been a little shy too but sometimes you just have to take a chance right? | ! Want to ask out my barista but I don't know her. Any tips for making it less weird ladies? If you were a barista how would you want to be asked out? |
t3_4rywss | dogs | [Fluff] A cute thing on 4th of July | So my Australian shepherd has been terrified of fireworks since I've gotten her. Anything that sounds like 'em to; gun shots, car backfire, all of it is a big nope to her.
She's recently been getting better. I stopped letting her get away with booking it as soon as one went off, and I wouldn't immediately go back to the house if we were on a walk and a noise happened.
So this past holiday, she surprisingly came out of dog fort and into the yard to hang out with us. She was a bit nervous, but with the pets she was content.
That was until a near bye neighbor decided to set off multiple mortars. She flipped out and tried to get back inside but the door was closed for whatever reason. I run after her open the door because she's properly freaked out by this point, and she runs into the house and careens around the corner into the bedroom.
I'm running after her so I can check on her, and when I turn the corner she's poking her head out the door with the most worried look on her face, and as soon as we made eye contact and she knew where I was (and presumably that I was ok!) she dove into dog fort. | My dog waited to hide from the fireworks of death to see if I was okay and she's seriously an amazing dog. |
t3_31abwp | Advice | Working two jobs and wondering how to quit the second. | So I was fresh out of college and I got a full time web dev job. A few months went by and a much better job opportunity came up as an iOS dev and it paid about 40% more. So I told my current boss that I would be quitting and the web dev company offered me a 50% raise to stay. I like the job so I decided to stay and decline the iOS dev job. When I was declining the iOS company respected my decision and asked if I would be interested in part time. I said that sounded nice (some extra cash and I could work remote). So I decided to do it on a variable hour basis (20-30) since they had no other developers I wanted to help.
Fast forward 4 months later and now I work 30 sometimes 40 hours a week at both jobs and I am so burned out. I still enjoy going to my main job and I no longer need the extra cash so I want to quit the second job. Problem is I have never quit a job before for "no reason" it has always been because I am moving or because I found a much better job. So I have this weird feeling of guilt towards this company because I am their only developer and their app is very close to being released (2-3 weeks) but they are getting impatient and they also purchased me an iPad and macbook for dev / testing so this is adding to the investment they put in me and the stress. | I got a second job that has become much more demanding than I expected but I have a ton of stress over quitting because I feel obligated to finish the product they have invested so much in me for. |
t3_3u445h | relationships | Should I [22 M] ask a girl [21 F] from my program out? I am socially dumb | Hi all,
I apologize if this first part is somewhat vague because I am avoiding identifying details. I am a member of an organization at college that provides a residential component. As a part of this I have regular contact with people from similar organizations--that is, I am expected to socialize with them as part of my membership. One of the other members (with whom I do not live) is a girl about my age. For the purposes of this post I will call her Emily.
Here's the situation: I have conversed with Emily a few times and we seem to get along. I have put on a few social events in the past months and she usually attends as the only representative of her group. She joins my group for dinner about once a week and usually ends up sitting next to me.
My gut feeling is that these actions indicate that she wants more social interaction with me. However, I am socially dumb and bad at interpreting intentions so I could just be making this all up in my head. As sort of a baseline way of making sure I am not off base I found out from one of her friends that she is not taken.
As for my perspective: I am willing to talk to her more casually so we get to know each other better. She is nice enough so far but it's not like I am head-over-heels for her or anything. She's not really my "type" as far as those things go but I don't know if dating outside types is considered normal or ill-advised. My concern is that if things don't work out or I get rejected I will still be forced to see her for the rest of the academic year and things might get awkward or I will be labeled as predatory or something. I know that that's totally paranoid. My other concern is that I should just get some experience in the dating world while I am still in college since I will be on my own with no clue what to do otherwise.
Should I pursue contact/a date with Emily? Please let me know if I am reading social cues properly as well; if I am imagining her intentions then I don't want to embarrass myself here. | I am perceiving social cues that a girl wants to spend more time with me. Should I pursue this, or just ignore it? No infatuation, just two people who might be interested. |
t3_1gh71q | pettyrevenge | Be an asshole to me? I'll be one, too | I was driving home around 8-9pm, and it was already mostly dark. Getting off the freeway, there's a light, and then a road for about a 1/4 mike with no street lights with a speed of 45mph. I was driving along the street in the left lane (there are only two) going about 50mph. Suddenly, Mr Fancy BMW comes right on my tail (I drive a Chevy Impala) and starts flashing their brights. I'm not in a good mood as is, and seeing as how I was already speeding (going flow of traffic) I thought to myself, "hmm. 5 over the limit is a tad fast on this road" (it's a little windy, nothing dangerous) and so I slowed down to 45, the speed limit. Mr BMW honks. I slowed down to a nice 41mph, and make sure to keep it so there's barely no room to pass me until I have to turn, about a mile later. | BMW tailgates me, flashes brights and honks for not going fast enough, I slow from 5 over speed limit, to 4 under. |
t3_r3uw8 | AskReddit | How do you stop being friends with someone? | Backstory: A girl a year below me in college sort of attached herself to me in sort of a "little sister" sort of way when I was a sophomore in college 10 years ago. Since then I've been friends with her to the point that I tolerate her and am nice to her, but I really don't care about her all that much. She is nothing but constant drama, her life is a soap opera, and I'm really just tired of being involved with it. We don't live near each other at least. How can I start distancing myself from her without being a total dick about it? | she believes we are much better friends than we are and I've sort of gone along with it since I'm a nice guy, but I'm sick of it now. |
t3_2b1z6u | relationships | Me [20sM] Dealing with the death of an acquaintance [20sM] | Growing up I [20sM] didn't have many experiences with death. My grandparents are relatively young and relatively healthy, and I don't have much extended family where I live so I didn't attend many funerals or wakes. A semi-close relative who I've never spoken to passed around a decade ago and, even though I attended the wake, I wasn't really emotionally affected by it.
I just found out that an acquaintance [20sM] someone who hung out with a crowd that some of my friends were in in HS, has passed away. I was never best friends with him, but we spoke, saw each other around for four years, and ran into each other a few times after high school. In spite of how not-all-that-close we were though, I'm sitting at work in absolute shock. I feel like I'm making his death about myself and that's the last thing I want to do, especially given the nature of out relationship (or lack thereof) and how unfair it seems, but the intensity of emotion I feel toward this isn't something I'm making up. I don't know if I'm asking if this is normal - whether it is or isn't doesn't change that I'm feeling it. I guess I'm just rambling because I feel stupid telling my SO or friends that someone I barely knew as of late passing is affecting me this much. His wake is tomorrow, a good drive away, and I'm debating going. But I don't know if that would be insulting. I barely knew him! I can just imagine walking in and everyone throwing daggers at me for even surmising to feel what they feel, not having spoken to him for upwards of a year. What is going on? | I have no idea how to handle the death of a distant acquaintance or why I'm feeling the things I'm feeling. |
t3_xblcm | loseit | Almost to my goal weight, nervous about the gym. 302 LBS to 215 LBS | I started all of this back in January when I found this subreddit. I decided that after reading all these posts about shedding the pounds that I needed to do something. I had enough, so I did it. I started at 302 pounds, and now I'm sitting at 215. I began with keto until about 250, then just started eating clean. I haven't worked out, however I'm looking to change that. I'm nervous about the gym, and feeling a little unmotivated about it. I'm still on board with eating correctly, but going to the gym alone sorta scares me. I know that it's going to be the only way to obtain the body that I want, but I don't know. How did you guys tackle going to the gym? I've never been one to really love it, however I haven't been since I was 15.... I'm 21 now.
If you guys have any questions, feel free to ask by the way,
OH OH OH...here is the obligatory album:
AND AND AND...the original post that started it all: | 21 year old male from 302 LBS to 215 LBS. Nervous about going to the gym, and feeling a little unmotivated to shed these last pounds. |
t3_1nhnme | relationships | She (f, 19) is gone and I (26, m) feel like an addict suffering withdrawal | Background: We dated very briefly, 5 months before she went off to University. We went from talking every night on the phone for hours to her slowly pulling away and telling me that our relationship and her commitment to me was causing her too much stress, and that she was in danger of failing out of (a rather competitive and difficult) University if we kept up at the rate we did. She told me she needed a "break" but wanted to see me when she was home for holiday and would miss me. I took this rather badly and said some things I regret, and she decided to block my phone #, facebook, etc, and take back what she said about wanting to see me when she was home.
I have had many relationships in the past, and ours was short-lived, but no girl has ever made me feel the way she did. Just receiving a text message from her would make my entire day and I would legitimately feel high for hours afterward. I simply could and still cannot imagine a more perfect girl. I know I have to let her go and I know I have to move on. I just want some kind of reassurance that if this isn't meant to be, I will eventually feel this way about someone again. I have been more crushed over other breakups in the past, largely due to their circumstance (cheating, etc), but I have never been so enamored with a girl. I never told her I loved her because we weren't there yet and I feared (knew) that my feelings for her were stronger than hers for me. Sorry for the rant, just feeling lost :( | got dumped by most perfect girl i can imagine. Not quite heartbroken, but can't imagine ever finding anyone I'll fancy more. |
t3_3zt6ms | personalfinance | I just asked for a sizable raise as I felt underpaid. My boss is willing to work with me. But he suggested that we cancel our cleaning service and I would be responsible for changing trash, and vacuuming when necessary. | I work as a marketing associate at a small software reseller firm in Manhattan. We did about $5 million in revenue last year I have taken on a bunch of other admin roles in the company, as well as office management duties. I ship out some of the servers we sell, deposit the checks, file papers for the operations manager, create renewal quotes for some sales guys, on top of my marketing duties. I make 42k. I started at 33k 3 years ago. I am asking for 60, but I would be happy with 55. He says to help pay, he could save on the cost and pass that money to me(service is 700 a month). I don't mind doing it as I also do things like pick stuff up from the supermarket if we are having visitors, setting up the conference area when we have some food catered. You get the idea. I would just have to vacuum when necessary and change the trash underneath the desk, and in the kitchen. Which isn't much. He said I don't have to of I feel weird, but I said I don't, mind, which I don't. Is it a weird request?
Oh and I also asked for a 5k loan which I really needed. | I asked for 50% raise at my office job in NYC boss said was willing to work with me, asked if I was willing to throw the trash and vacuum when necessary. Is that a weird request? |
t3_39xi20 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my friend [30 M] of 15 years, recently got engaged and unknowingly scheduled his wedding the day after mine. | A short description of our relationship: "Carl" and I have been friends since high school. We're not very close now, other than some sporadic texts back and forth. However, we share a friend group, and I am very close with several of them.
I got engaged last August to the love of my life, and we set our Wedding date in October of last year.
My friend got engaged a few months ago, and unknowingly scheduled his wedding the day after mine. He found this out the day after he announced the engagement/wedding date.
He has continued to schedule things (rehearsal dinner, bachelor party, etc) without any regard to me. I have already had these things scheduled, and while the bachelor party isn't a problem, the rehearsal dinner is, as it's set for the same day of our wedding. Everyone that is going to be in his wedding party, is invited to our wedding, and one of them is even in my wedding party.
I'm not upset about the fact he scheduled his wedding the day after mine. It really sucks, but he didn't do it on purpose, as I genuinely don't think he knew. I also have never met his fiancee. I am however upset about the fact that he continued to schedule things with no regard to our plans. How can I diplomatically resolve things without causing drama? | Friend unknowingly scheduled wedding the day after mine, after discovering this, he continues to schedule his wedding activities with no regard to my already made plans. How can I manage this situation? |
t3_2tsuic | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [21M] 6 months, don't know how to break up with him | My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. It's been hot, heavy, emotional, and dramatic. I've never been happy with how the relationship was progressing and he knows that. We've made several attempts to change but it's not working and I feel like we've fallen into bad habits. I can't see this working out long term. I would rather save us both pain and end it now.
So now my problem: I don't know how to break up with him. I do love this guy and he loves me. I've been living away from my family and friends for work so I don't really have a support system where I am right now. This guy has been through a lot and the truth is that if I'd known I wouldn't have started something for fear of just messing him up more. As it is, I didn't know about his sad romantic history until I was already involved.
Like I said I still love this guy but due to several different complications I can't really stay anymore. I'd like to stay friends but not right away although I'm pretty sure he'll want to go to straight to just friends, I think we both know that we would end up hooking up at some point if we tried to go directly into friendship. | I need to break up with my boyfriend but I really don't want to hurt him and I'm worried I'll just run back to him. Advice? |
t3_4aylu3 | personalfinance | (UKR) I'm a student, how i can earn 300$ or more per month? (details inside) | **I'm:**
* Male, 21 y.o.
* Student graduate, bachelor degree (about to get masters degree in psychology field)
**Problems:**
* No money
* Debts (parents debts and university)
* Can't find part-time job or distant job because i'm writing a diploma
**My goals is...**
* To pay all of my and my parent debts (~4k$)
* To live with girlfriend in our very own flat\house
**...to earn:**
* At least: earn 100$ per month
* Optimal: earn 150-300$ per month
* Great achievement: earn 400$ and more per month
**My skills:**
* Photographer (+analog photography, retouching, editing, got no digital camera currently)
* Hobbyist artist
* Beginner designer
* Non-professional translations
* Video montage and some editing (weak computer doesn't let me do that right now)
**Tried:**
* To find a job (obviously)
* Freelancing (fiverr, and other opportunities but portfolio is way too weak)
* Working online (a large amount of sites, 85% of it just won't give me tasks, not available in my country and PayPal not working for us)
* Doing some jobs for redditors (a huge success for me actually, earned ~200$ though it's a *very* rare occasion)
**Plan:**
* Find a dream job (duh...)
* Draw a texture pack, post it on patreon, promote it, earn money from there
* Do some freelance jobs occasionally
**I need:**
Your advice. Please notice that i'm from Ukraine, i hope it tells you everything. Maybe some resources, i got few opened gigs on Fiverr for few months, but no one has ordered a thing from it
Thank you all in advance. | broke student-psychologist from Ukraine, need to earn 150 or more dollars per month, designer, photograph, tried freelancing, but portfolio is too weak, and got no time because of diploma. |
t3_3d61he | relationships | Me [22 M] with my on and off again GF [20 F] of five months, she couldn't get over her ex, which caused a ton of strife | I met this girl late February and we hit it off like I haven't ever experienced in my life. The chemistry was amazing, the passion was definitely there and everything was looking up. Unfortunately, one of the very first things she did was to text her ex to tell him she found someone else. She said it was consideration to which I said it was to insight jealousy. Low and behold, jealousy was what came about. He came storming back into her life with a newly found passion, (this is after six months of him essentially emotionally abusing the poor girl) a passion embraced with open arms by her.
After dealing with that for a few weeks, I had enough because I knew it was wrong. I told her for us to truly be together, she must go back and see that the relationship she had been clinging to in her head didn't exist anymore and for her to open her eyes to how bad of a person her ex really is. After three weeks, she came back to me. Unfortunately he was still lingering and she wouldn't let go. I told her that's a must for our relationship to be successful and after a couple of months she finally made that commitment and told him off. Although she told him off, she neglected to mention me due to consideration of him once again.
After her finally giving him the boot, I was met with a love I had not experienced from her, yet I found it increasingly difficult to trust her after everything she put me through with her ex. She has predominantly male friends and is upset when I question anything to do with them and was extremely upset when I told her that her keeping her ex as a friend would only cause more conflict in our relationship.
Frankly, I don't know what to think about the situation anymore and would just like some support or insight as to where I should go from here. Anyone with similar experiences? Did you make it work?
Thank you. | On and off again girlfriend couldn't get over her ex leading to serious conflict within our relationship. She finally got over him, yet something seems off. Can anyone give advice? |
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