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t3_3k9za0 | relationships | My boyfriend (31M) thinks we're buying this house together, when I (30F) just want to purchase solo. Any advice? | I just turned 30 and owning a home has been something I've worked towards since I got out of college. I have no student debt (FINALLY), own my car and just paid off my credit card. My credit was so-so (thanks student loans), but I've worked on bringing it up the past two years. In short, I'm ready.
My boyfriend ("Ben") has done none of these things....and that's completely his choice. He still has over 20k in student loan debt, minimal credit card history, and a low credit score. His job is also tip based so on loan paperwork, it doesn't look so great. Those are the rational reasons. The emotional reason is that I simply don't want to buy a home WITH him at this point. We've been dating two years, have had no marriage discussions (besides both not being ready) and legally I don't see any reason he needs to be on the deed. I've saved up the down payment and have the backup money for all the extra expenses.
Last night he said he's really looking forward to owning a home. It's something he's always wanted to do and he's trying to save up to help with the down payment.... Up until this point, I'd assumed he understood I would be doing this solo, which was a stupid assumption to make. I need to sit down and talk to him about this but not in a "I don't trust you" or "you don't have your shit together" sort of way. I would obviously be open to adding him onto it in the future if our relationship went that route, but not right now. We live in an expensive area of the country, so he would still save money on rent (I wouldn't say that to him...).
How do I gently explain this to him without hurting his feelings or making him feel insulted?
Thanks everyone. | I'm ready to buy a house and am happy to have Ben be a part of it, but not on the legal paperwork. |
t3_44h1og | legaladvice | [US-IA] Assault by a college campus security guard | Sorry, this is kind of a long story. I need some help!
Last night a friend of mine got drunk with me at a party, and at the end of the night was driven home with a couple of friends. As it turned out, he was too drunk to explain where he lived, so the girls he was with chose to sneak him into their dorm (girls only dorm, no dudes allowed). As they go into the dorm, the notice that security spotted them, and they get (drunkenly) paranoid, thinking they'll search the room and get in trouble for being wasted (no drug/alcohol campus), so they tell my friend to go out the window (a 9 foot drop) and he does it. When he gets out the window, apparently security was waiting for him, and the tell him to stop. **He says very clearly to them "I'm just going home", and keeps moving. So then this happens: The two security guards chase him down, and tackle him, skinning his knees and forcing him into submission. They call the police, and hold him until they arrive. He tells the police that again, he's just trying to go home, and they let him go.** The guards then proceed to tell my friend that he's lucky that he didn't get arrested and that he'll have to deal with the university on Monday about being drunk on campus. My friend, emotionally distraught by this (he has a difficult bipolar disorder), fearing that he'll be expelled, has a panic attack and then attempts to kill himself. He's unsuccessful, thankfully, but now I'm looking to have him press charges against the security guards. What could he do?
**Trespassing concern** He was brought in by two other students, and not necessarily by his own volition.
**Campus Drinking** Having alcoholic beverages on campus is explicitly against school policy. Being drunk on campus is not.
**The charges are NOT against the police** The charges would be against two middle aged men, that happen to work as security guards on our campus. They are in no way affiliated with the local police. | My bipolar friend is tackled by security guards on school campus for no reason, is both physically and mentally harmed by the experience. What can he do from a legal standpoint? |
t3_4b94z9 | relationships | Big financial differences in marriage... (me 30M, wife 28F)... | We have been married just two years. I make $100k+ and have saved for retirement, and have been saving for a home. In hindsight, we should have discussed finances in some pre-marital counseling or something but we never did.
My wife has been in school for the past several years, and hopefully she will graduate in the next year. It has taken her something like 6 years to get this bachelor's degree. When we got married, I thought she would graduate soon, but it dragged on for another couple years. All this time she was not working at all, and just piling on the student debt. After we got married, I paid for her education, rent, food, etc.
I feel like I had a rude awakening on this since I recently crunched some numbers and realized my wife is completely in debt and hasn't seemed to have had motivation to even hold down a part-time job while she has been in school. Her schooling must be on a part-time schedule since it will have taken her two extra years to graduate. Her student loan debt is nearly $60,000 from before we got married, and I worry about her overall motivation in life to make money since she never even got a part-time job.
I feel like I have been taking care of her so she doesn't feel the need to push herself. When I try to push her, she gets mad at me so I must not be approaching this the right way.
How would you deal with this situation? I have enough money to actually pay her debt, but then I realize that I worked a decade to save up this kind of money. I want her to pay it off herself...but that could take forever at the rate she is going. | Wife hasn't held a job in 6 years because has been in school all that time. I'm worried about her motivation in getting a career and if I will have to support her my whole life. |
t3_54s47x | weddingplanning | [Confused Canadian] Part Two: Making Guests Happy! Buffet or plates? Open bars and music? (And update from Part One) | * | If you were a guest would you want a plate or buffet? How drunk would you plan to get? DJ important or any music? Thanks! |
t3_ua0wd | AskReddit | Had one of my worst Craigslist meet ups today. What are some of your worst Craigslist experiences? | This girl was selling a 27" flat screen TV for $100 with wall mount included so I immediately contact her to arrange for a meet up. I tell her around 5 PM and she said okay and gives me her address. I get there and she is deep asleep. Her friend who also lives there tries to wake her up but fails and tells me to try to wake her up. She finally wakes up but remains half-naked and does not move at all and tells me to come back at 7 in the softest voice possible. I said no, I can't come back at 7. She then proceeds to tell me, "Then you don't need to buy it." I was raging inside. It didn't help that she was the typical white sorority college girl as suggested by all the pictures of her sorority and empty vodka bottles and red cups. I walked right out without saying a thing. | Met up with a girl to buy her TV at her house, but she basically tells me to fuck off because she wanted to nap. |
t3_3t8i0f | relationships | Me [17 M] wants to move in with my dad [41M], however I can't due to my dogs and mother [41F]. | My mother and father got divorced a few years back. Of course, I ended up with my mother. So now I live in a small town where basically all of my mom's side lives.
After a while, my mom got a boyfriend and my sister got a dog. Well, my sister's dog and my mom's boyfriend's dog ended having puppies and I got one.
About two years later, my mom and boyfriend broke up, and my sister moved out, leaving her dog to me. We moved into her new boyfriends house and it has been hell ever since.
Constantly he is yelling at my dogs, calling them a wide variety of terrible things, stomping to scare them away, etc. On top of that, he's always berating me for what I choose to do in my free time.
Of course, I've gotten sick of it. That's where the problem is. My dad said I could move in with him whenever I wished, and I want to. However, I can't take the dogs. Her ex is more than willing to take the dogs, as is his family. I've been close with them ever since my mother and him dated so I definitely trust them to take care of them.
As mentioned, it's a small town. It would become obvious where I took them shortly after moving out. I need some help with this situation as it's driving me crazy. | Want to move out of my mom's, but I don't trust her new boyfriend with the dogs and the old boyfriend would be fine with keeping them for me. |
t3_2k5z3r | legaladvice | US, Indiana - Is a driver who causes an accident indirectly responsible for damages if they are not hit? | Last night on my way home from getting dinner a truck pulled out in front of me as I was passing the gas station he was sitting in. I did not have time to stop, so I tried to swerve around him. My tires lost traction and I ended up doing a 180 around the truck and hitting a curb sideways, which caused the car to flip over onto the roof, then back to the wheels. I never actually hit the truck, but is he still responsible for the damages to my car? I am supposed to hear back from my adjuster in the next few days but it would be nice to have some peace of mind before then since I only have liability coverage and cannot afford a new car. | A truck pulled out in front of me and I ended up rolling my car when I slid trying to avoid him. Is he responsible for the damage to my car even though I didn't actually hit him? |
t3_3zjewg | relationships | Me [20F] with my bf [21M] of 3 years, he is fine with never talking when we're apart and this upsets me. Am I unreasonable? | My bf and I live together but are frequently apart because we often visit our families who live in a different city. We can be apart for up to weeks at a time.
During this time I want to talk to him everyday, at the very least touch base. I tried not to be overbearing, eg send one text a day, and he would often ignore my message or give abrupt, dismissive replies. He spends all his time playing videogames and because if it he says he loses track of time and forgets to talk to me. A few months ago I expressed that this upsets me and he got mad at me for being so needy. We agreed that I shouldn't initiate contact unless I had a proper purpose, eg to arrange travel, and we would otherwise only talk when he initiated it.
Fast forward to now and I've stuck to it for the most part but I admit when it goes too long without communication for my liking Ive brought it up a couple of times. He's also been more open to communicating while we're apart.
However, i feel bad. Its not that he dislikes talking to me, he doesnt mind it and he does it to placate me. I feel guilty about making him do it.
Also, I am hurt that he is fine with never talking. Tonight I asked why that is, I was wondering whether I am just boring conversation or is there something else going on? He said he just forgets and he got mad again and said that now only I am allowed to start conversations and I can do it whenever I want.... That's not what I want and I think it was an immature "solution".
At home we don't have this issue. We used to but he has worked on interacting with me so it is not an issue anymore. We now have a normal home life. | bf is fine with not talking when we're apart but does it to placate me. I am hurt he feels this way. Does that make me needy or reasonable? |
t3_oyas5 | AskReddit | Today I had a "George Costanza and the Big Salad" situation. Has anyone else done something nice for someone anonymously, but not entirely by choice? | Today my friend and I pitched in to buy something for a mutual friend of ours. She wanted to get it, but didn't have the money so me and my buddy got it for her. I gave him my half of the money and he gave it to her, but didn't mention that I pitched in. He didn't purposely omit that information and offered to tell her when he realized he forgot, but I figured who cares as long as she's happy it doesn't matter. Obviously I feel good for doing something nice for a friend, but part of me wants to be like George Costanza and take partial credit for my Big Salad. | Helped pitch in for a gift for a friend and received no credit for it. Has this happened to you? What did you do? |
t3_13h4go | relationships | My fiance (24M) wants to live with his roomate (24M) the first year of our marriage to save money. I'm not a fan. | My fiance's job through his university pays for a certain fraction of rent such that if he lives with another employee of the university, rent is free. To prevent having to pay rent next year, he wants us to live with this other employee (and friend--nice guy to be fair) after we get married this summer. I am SO NOT DOWN. Have proposed compromises such as take a loan from my parents (who would pay for it without any expectation of being repaid anyway) however he is too proud to accept financial help from them once we're married. I am a 24F medical student attending university one hour away from his university. | Fiance (24M) wants me (24F) to live with his current roomate (24M) after we get married to save money. Intimacy vs money my fellow redditors? |
t3_29hb4m | relationships | Me [20 M] with a possible dating interest [20F]. Don't know what to do, since I don't have a lot of experience. | Hi r/Relationships, longtime lurker here, but I could really use some help.
Bit of backstory: I am a 20M in uni right now. I also don't really have a lot of experience with women. At the end of the last year, I heard from my friends that a girl who I knew well had a crush on me. Unfortunately, time ran out before I did anything to pursue that.
On with the current problem: Somehow, we both ended up in the same city while traveling this summer with our friends (separate groups), and when she said goodbye, she pulled me in and kissed me on the cheek.
Since then, we've been snapping/texting a little bit. My question is: if she is interested, how do I make my intentions clear, and keep the attraction alive until we are both back on campus and I can ask her out?
Thanks very much, I don't really have a whole lot of people to talk to about this. | Uni classmate may like me, but I'm really not sure. What should I do for the remainder of the summer? |
t3_1dz04z | relationships | My Stepdad [50M] Has been making inappropriate comments and making me feel uncomfortable [18F] | My mom just got married to a guy she's been dating for a couple years, and recently his actions have been making me uncomfortable.
Whenever we're alone he'll try to discretely touch my ass. When I ask him not too he insists that it's ok because we're friends, but then when I make an effort to not be friends with him he gets really angry at me. A while ago when I wasn't acting how he wanted me to, he pointed a pocket knife at me (I'm terrified of knives and I didn't know the knife was dull) and then stabbed me in the leg with it. It was too dull to even poke me, but it actually really scared me.
Even when I bring up the issue around my family everyone acts like it's normal. My stepdad laughs about it and pretends it's completely acceptable for him to touch me like that.
He's also made a few inappropriate comments toward me recently. He always tries to bring up my sex life (which he knows nothing about) and my alcoholism (I don't drink at all). A while ago when he was drunk he told me when we were alone that he'd rather be with me than my mother. I left without saying anything to avoid encouraging his inappropriate behaviour, but I don't think he's understanding that he's making me really uncomfortable.
I can't talk about this with any of my family members because I'm not very close with any of them. I've asked my stepbrother to talk to him about it but he doesn't think this is very serious either.
Am I not making it clear enough that I find this very inappropriate? Am I over-reacting to a parenting style that I just don't understand? What should I do to make him stop? | My stepdad has been making inappropriate comments toward me and touching my ass and my family is acting like it's normal. |
t3_4qamw4 | relationships | My (22f) girlfriend won't drive up to see me (23m) on weekends | We've been dating for 1.5 years and things have been good. Right now we live 2 hours away from each other. We used to switch off seeing each other every weekend which made things more bearable. I would leave straight from work to see her. And she would come Friday during the day because she didn't have a job yet. She just got her first real job out of college and is at her work for 9 hours a day. She is always tired after work and says she will be too tired to drive 2 hours after work, and doesn't want to come Saturday because it would be 4 hours of driving for 1 night which she says is too much driving. Her compromise was to Skype more but I can't see how every 2 weeks would work. I'm not sure what to do. | 2 hours apart and she won't drive to see me even though I leave straight from work and drive 2 hours to see her. Being together once every 2 weeks isn't enough. |
t3_40al2h | relationships | (21/M), Can't understand past date 1 | I can't comprehended, nor do I understand what I'm doing wrong.
I have never made it past date 1. Every time, after the date I get a response that basically communicates "goodbye' and yet I don't what I am doing wrong, or (potentially) what is wrong with me.
I know I'm not an overly positive or happy person, but I actively suppress those feelings and convert it into neutrality while trying be positive.
I don't have a problem with being single, but my family has a major problem with it. I know that is a petty reason to seek a relationship but I want them to shut-up.
Similarly, I am getting tiered of my friends asking "why aren't you with someone?" or "I haven't heard of a date in a while, are thing okay?".
I don't understand, am I that boring that people can't stand
dating me or is it something else?
I know I have posted here before, but this is after I have sought help, counselling, and a course on how to communicate.
I feel perpetually helpless and I have lost all confidence in my self. I'm still angry, but it only lashes out when my anger becomes too much All I do know is school work/prepare for classes and I'm tiered and don't want to continue the way I'm going.
Please help. | Despite following advice of both people here and the professionals I have sought for help, Date 1 seems like a milestone that isn't. |
t3_4a7lmk | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Mom [50+ F] Always wants me to visit but is never willing to drive me. | Let me start off by saying, yes, a person my age should be driving by now but I can't afford a car at the moment and I am saving up. Anyway, my mom just recently got back into the dating scene and as a result she is experiencing a lot of rejection and heartache. Now, I am a total mama's boy. She is like a best friend to me and I don't have a problem with visiting her. It just really annoys me that she is never willing to drive me over to her place. She pretty much begs me to come over but when I suggest she pick me up in her car she says something along the lines of "I'm too busy" or "My back hurts". Thing is she is literally a five minute drive from me. It takes way more effort for me to bike to her place than it does for her to drive over. I just feel like if she really wants me to come over why is she being so stubborn? I have tried talking to her about it but she always uses the "busy" excuse even though, like I said, she lives less than a ten minute drive from me. It just makes me so bitter that I don't want to visit anymore even though I could never bring myself to abandon her at this time.. It's just so... Ugh, frustrating >.< | Mom always wants me to visit but doesn't want to make the drive even though she is less than 5 miles away. |
t3_4kn5tt | relationships | Me [16 M] with my friend [16 F], I don't know if I can commit to a relationship (Can a guy and a girl just be friends?) | Basically in the past I have gone out with girls but eventually after time has passed I eventually I grew bored of them and couldn't even be bothered staying in the relationship.
Now I've met this girl and frankly she is a really beautiful person and I really like her. However today I lent her my jacket (it was cold), afterward I spoke to a friend and she asked if we were in a relationship and that scared me. I am really worried about devoting myself, this makes me sound like an arsehole but frankly I can't be bothered. I just wish to stay friends but I'm pretty sure she likes me (I hugged another girl the other day and she cried) and I really do not wish to hurt her. I really enjoy the friendship we have! | A girl likes me (alot) I think I like her but it scares me the idea of another relationship (and commitment) |
t3_dda8w | AskReddit | A local closed down state school is going to be redone as a haunted attraction. Lots of mixed reactions from locals, how does Reddit feel on this one? | Short Story: The Pennhurst State School and Hospital was a school that many people in PA put people with learning disabilities and health issues, such as epilepsy, in as a means to house, monitor, and provide care. Over time, the government put less money toward the school, reducing the amount of provisions available to patients, eventually to the point where two nurses would care for 30+ patients. Malpractice soon ruled the school medical system in many places, and patient abuse was commonplace, sometimes ending up in death. A lawsuit came up against the school, and the school lost. Over 15 years, less and less money went to the school to the point of it closing. Nowadays, it is a veteran's hospital, national guard armory, and as of recently a haunted house attraction. It was originally to be a memorial site and museum. | People got killed in the hospital and it's haunted. Was going to be a memorial but they now use it as a haunted house (literally). |
t3_fkqyt | relationships | I need some time the day before Valentines day | It is Sunday, the day before Valentines day. Ironically Valentines day would be our 11 month anniversary. My girlfriend (or ex at this point) decided after a week of not being able to deal with a fight from last weekend that she now needs some time to "Figure out who she is."
It is also week 10 of a 10 week quarter - at this point in time the only thing that I know is that either way this is tearing me apart when I don't have a chance. I now have no chance of focusing on what I am doing. Yes yes, I know that we are both young (we are both 19 years old) and that we both have the opportunities to find other people but I was truly convinced we were both made for each other.
And to top it off, we live in the same apartment - she suggested I move in about a month ago and since this is college housing I can't just move out if that is the need.
I don't want to lose this girl reddit - what should I do? | GF said she needs time the day before our 11 month anniversary; I love her and want to keep her. What to do? |
t3_fjsq3 | AskReddit | Did I do the right thing? | Today I was driving to work to pickup my paycheck on a two lane road, when a kid in an suv pulled out full speed from a parking lot and didnt really look. I swerved in the other lane to avoid getting t-boned, but he managed to knock his license plate off and scuff the paint and maybe dent my fender. However, when he got out of the car he was sweating bullets, and I knew he was a highschooler and I've been there. I drive a monte carlo that has 150,000 miles on it (2003). so I really don't care about the paint and his car was fine, so I said "Go home, yeah it was your fault but I'm not going to report it, no real harm done, be careful next time." I don't know, I just feel like I don't want to get into some legal battle over scratched paint. | guy drives poorly, scuffs my paint, probably a new driver. I tell him its alright I don't care be careful next time. right thing to do? |
t3_htg1w | AskReddit | Help! How do you find out if a property is in foreclosure? [California] | I got a letter from my landlord on May 26, telling my boyfriend and I that they are selling the property June 2, but will be allowed to stay on the property until the end of the month. They also said that we may be able to continue living on the property, but it would be up to the new owners.
Today, while watching TV, we get a knock on our door. Some lady with some company which offers owners of foreclosed properties is asking us to get in touch with the landowners, and offer them her services. This is the first time we've even considered that the property is being foreclosed on. So, how do I verify this information? | Living in a granny unit on a possibly foreclosed property. How do I verify this info, and proceed? |
t3_1e5odj | relationships | I'm a [18m] dating a [15f] for 4 moths is this wrong in your eyes?. | So, I meet her in a party (most of my friends are 2 or 3 years younger that me) I fought to get her heart for long and I won, she has been my first girlfriend in over 7 years..the only problem is she is 4 years younger than me. Then I had to go back to where I used to live due to family reasons (Cali, Colombia). She says she is coming to college here if I can go back to it on the USA. We have been together for 4 months now.
What do you guys think? Your general opinions and things, I will update | My girlfriend is 4 years younger than me and a lot of time it brings me down, so I want to her your opinions. |
t3_1dx0k0 | tifu | TIFU by planning my senior prom without realizing it all is scheduled to happen the same night as a mandatory stage performance. | Background: I'm an actor and am currently assistant directing/assistant stage managing a production at a community theater that opens on Friday the 17th. My responsibilities with this big production include an on-stage part, as well as work with a djembe throughout the production.
On the other hand, I asked a girl to my senior prom a couple weeks ago. Today I bought the tickets, which totaled to $220. That's a pretty hefty commitment, yeah?
So now I realize that both of these (basically) mandatory events are happening on the same night at the same time. Given that the director of the stage production doesn't even think performing at Benaroya Hall (in seattle) is a good enough reason to miss one rehearsal...I think I'm pretty solidly fucked here.
I have an idea for a plan to get replacements for the stage production, as I pretty much can't just cancel the prom (due to my commitment to my date, not to mention the financial involvement, which is hefty for my family). | planned my whole senior prom out and it turned out to be the same night as a performance of a big stage production that I'm a huge part of. And I didn't realize it until tonight. |
t3_4s49ls | offmychest | I pissed the bed last night. I'm afraid to sleep tonight. | I tend to take good care of myself physically. I eat right. I keep myself clean. Last week, I went on a vacation and forgot some of my toiletries. I guess it's because my body was on a different routine than usual, but I feel shitty. I think I have an ear infection (possibly two, but one is significantly worse). My ears have been stopped up and waxy, and I've just been miserable. The plane ride home was probably the single most painful experience of my life. It felt like there was a bottle of wine in my head and the cork was trying to shoot out of my ear. I was holding back tears the entire way. It hurts to touch my ear, and there's always a lot of pressure in it. That makes sleeping a pain. I've had constant headaches that add to the ear aches. Today, my temperature oscillated between 100 and almost 103. I'm trying to keep hydrated, but that's made me have to pee just about every hour. I haven't really been able to eat, but somehow I am still sitting on the toilet with horrible diarrhea.
I've been feeling really bad, and last night made it worse. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt wet all over. I was barely awake, so I assumed it was sweat and fell back asleep. When I got up today, there was a big wet spot in my pajamas and on my bed. There really wasn't any doubt at that point. I had wet the bed. I felt horrible. I felt disgusting and betrayed by my own body. It's almost one in the morning now, and I'm afraid to go to bed. I'm worried that I'm going to piss myself in my sleep again. I'm worried I'm going to have to wake up again feeling ashamed and disgusting. | I've been sick for the last few days. I pissed in my sleep last night, and now I'm worried about doing it again. |
t3_2t9syq | relationships | My SO randomly broke up with me and said he was going to Europe for a year without discussion. | My(20f) boyfriend(22m) of just a little over a year broke up with me completely out of the blue a week ago.
So here's the story, for two days he was acting really distant and I asked him what was up and he kept saying "nothing" so I gave it up. Then last Thursday before I had to go to work I have to confess, I pestered him until he finally caved and told me that he's going to Europe for 8-12 months and that he loves me but we had to break up. I was obviously in shock and immediately started crying. Also I admit I got so worked up I even begged him to put our relationship on a break while he went over there and said that I'd just be here when he got back but he said no.. I regret over reacting and acting the way I did and I'm so embarrassed now.
I'm upset because there was no discussion before he made the decision. He didn't consider any other options and told me I had to pack my bags and stay with a friend. I was devastated because this boy who I would honestly do anything for could just leave me like that without any warning and make me leave like I mean nothing. I am honestly happy he is doing this, he will find himself overseas and experience so many amazing things. He deserves that. Everybody deserves that. But I don't think I deserved to be treated so poorly.
His reasons are that he recently lost his license because he was riding his motorbike at 130km/h in a 60km/h zone. He is out of work and his lease is ending because somebody bought the apartment he was renting.
I guess I just want your opinion on the situation and any advice on how I can work through this and become my own person again. | My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me without warning or any discussion and told me he's leaving for Europe in early February for 8-12 months. |
t3_4l763s | relationships | Whenever I [24 M] try to console my 22 [F] GF of 3 years (Long Distance), it turns into a fight | I'll try to keep this pretty concise for simplicity:
My girlfriend, in college, has been dealing with various personal issues chronically for a while now and I am having trouble translating my care into effective support for her. Some of the issues have been rooted in long distance difficulties, general relationship difficulties, health problems, and college stress. She's an incredibly smart and capable woman and has gotten better at managing issues in her/our life. However, nobody is perfect and chronic stressors and health issues can take a toll on the spirit.
In recent moments of high stress, she has come to depend on me to be present on the phone and help her get through. Sometimes this is just as simple as keeping her company while she tries to meet a work deadline, but other times she expects me to say things that will truly help. While this was not an issue originally, the frequent nature of these instances have led to a situation where "it's going to be okay" and "you'll get through this" and "I love you" actually make things worse. In her eyes (and I see her point) those comments have lost meaning and they do not actually offer useful assistance. The trouble is that in these high stress scenarios, she has had a tendency to erupt and lay into me, leaving me to feel like a punching bag.
I love her dearly and I want nothing more than to actually be useful in these moments. I just feel that in most of these situations in which I have no better input to give than personal sympathy, empathy, and optimism because she is more than capable of logically solving the problems. Unfortunately, once the fighting begins, I have even more trouble coming up with the right words, if any.
Thank you | Girlfriend has been dealing with a series of issues, and we are finding that the verbal support I try to give is doing more harm than good. How can I offer more useful support? |
t3_f7qk2 | AskReddit | Advice requested, reddit. | (throwaway account as parties involved are all redditors)
I'm an amateur photographer who sells prints to earn extra money for school expenses. A few years ago a good friend of mine got married and as a wedding present I matted/framed a print of mine that was one of her favorites. She expressed how much she loved it and how everybody who comes over comments on it. (Side note: I wasn't trying to be cheap by giving this as a wedding present, rather I was trying to give a personalized present). Since then I've given her matted/framed/signed prints for a few other holidays/occasions (based on her flattering response to the wedding present).
She lives in another state than me, so our visits are few and far between. Last weekend I made it out to see her and realized... my prints are nowhere to be found. Not that I was searching every room of their house, but based on her previous statements they were hanging in heavy traffic areas of the house ("EVERYbody just loves them!"). I thought to myself, "hmm, strange.." but then put it out of my mind.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I get an email from my dad. He has recently discovered ebay and spends quite a bit of time on there.. and found an interesting listing. A matted, framed, signed print... by his daughter! He thought I had listed it (I do not use ebay). It was her Christmas present I gave her last weekend.
So, basically, my friend raves about my photographs but then profits by selling them on ebay? I know that once I give somebody a gift, whether it is my photograph or not, they are free to do whatever they want with it. But I'm not sure if I should a) forget about it and switch to gift cards as presents, b) forget about it and her, or c) mention it somehow as she is selling them for almost twice what I sell them for.
Any advice, reddit? | Amateur photographer gives a friend matted/framed/signed prints as presents only to find out she's selling them on ebay for twice what I sell them for. |
t3_nrivq | AskReddit | Same name girl problems. | So there is this girl at my school that I have been hanging out with. Let's just say her name is X. She is a cool girl and a good friend, she is also an 8 on the hotness scale. Recently she asked me if I wanted to go on a date with her. I kinda like her and I would be willing to give the relationship a try. Sounds good right? Well here's the problem. My Mom's name is also X. For some reason this makes me uncomfortable. i told her this and she thinks I am being stupid. What do you guys think? Am I being stupid or is this normal? | A girl asked me out who has the same name as my Mom. This makes me uncomfortable. What does reddit think? |
t3_2di3iq | relationships | I'm (29m) seeing my ex[32F] (first love) for the first time on a camping trip soon. Depressed and kinda freaking out. | I know this probably sounds silly but to me it's a huge deal. I've only been in love once and have only had one serious relationship and it was with a woman named Kathy. It was long distance and we broke up 6 months ago over the phone. I haven't seen her since. Myself and some friends are camping this weekend and she was invited. She's seeing someone else and while I'm happy for her I'm not sure if I can handle seeing her right now. Her boyfriend isn't coming thank god but the last month has been pretty hard for me. I'm struggling with depression. Once I realized I'll be seeing her again a lot of old feelings began to surface and I realized I'm no where near over this. I'm afraid this will trigger an episode and I'm afraid it will ruin the trip for me.
I don't know if I should go or ask her not to come. If I asked her, she would probably respect my wishes. I just don't know what to do. She changed my life and the idea of seeing her again in my current state might be too much. I'll want to be with her again and I know that's just not happening. I think she still has feelings for me too, but I doubt she feels the same. | Not sure if I should go camping, ex will be there. I'm not over her and still very much in love with her. |
t3_371gv9 | relationships | My mom wont accept my relationship | Well hello, I'm 14 and I have been dating someone for almost 3 months now, we have know each other for a long time before that, 3 years in fact. But I've been planning to tell my parents about this but they are against me dating and want me wait till i'm older. But I really love this guy. Today I tried telling her by updating my relationship status to "in a relationship" and 10 minutes later she texted me telling me to take the post down or she will break my phone and computer. I really want to be in this relationship,Because of me His grades have even grown dramatically to a C student to As and Bs He also gives me a reason to be excited for school. I want to know if theirs anyway I can convince my mom to accecpt that I am dating someone? It is hard only seeing him in school and having to hide my relationship from my parents | I'm 14 yr old in a relationship I tried to tell my mom but she became angry, I need her to accept this. |
t3_1btuyb | AskReddit | What are some sentimental or heroic pet stories you would like to share? | My cat is one of the meanest animals I've come in contact with. Whenever anyone's home, she feigns indifference and swats us away if we pet her too long (3 pets are good, the 4th one you'll get scratched). Obviously, everyone in the family just assumes she loves being by herself and would probably want us gone if she could have it her way.
On numerous occasions when my family goes out for dinner, we would come home with a small stuffed toy (the size of your hand) on our doorstep/entryway. One time I was working in the basement and everyone else left for dinner. I don't think my cat knew, but she started crying. It wasn't until I called her name from the basement did she stop.
Not very heroic, but these interactions are very sentimental to me. And it's reassuring to know my cat doesn't hate our guts like we thought she did. | Cat pretends to hate us, but cries and brings toys to lure us back when we're out of the house. |
t3_2tzdp0 | relationships | Me 29F with my 33M. Married 5 years, tired of being the only responsible adult...masturbation takes over our life. | Ok, so...the title is loaded...I know. I work and he works. We have a toddler who needs to be cared for. I get up at 5 am...work out, wake my kid up, make breakfast, get him dressed, and then take a shower and get myself ready for work(which is a corp. job, so I can't just slick back my hair and dress in casual clothes). My husband...ugh. He has to be at work at least an hour before me, yet he wakes up at the same time I do. He goes to the restroom to poop or masturbate. Almost an hour later, he'll come out, get dressed, ask me to make him lunch, and leave.
This.is.my.fucking.life. I do everything while he sits on the pot and pleasures himself. I am not offended by masturbation AT ALL. I am annoyed at the fact that I have to do everything while he can stay in the bathroom for an hour and not help. I don't care if he wants to masturbate in the mornings. We have a young child who prances into our room at 5 am. every morning. I get it. Adult time is limited.
Am I being unreasonable here?; to think that he should at least help me out in the morning instead of doing his own thing? Anytime I have brought this up, he gets angry and says that I'm ruining his "fun time"...god, is this really my life? WTF? | Husband does not contribute to our daily chores and life because he spends all hours in the goddamn bathroom. What do? |
t3_4o4rpu | relationships | I [30/f] suspect my man [30/m] of having another girlfriend. | I never meant to get my feelings involved in this fun relationship. I never asked enough questions about the past because I didn't think it would matter to me. But there it was. It showed up on his phone.
We were hanging out and I saw texts from a name I hadn't been introduced to. Well low and behold, after 6+months of establishing a relationship I uncover the dirt. He won't admit to it, though.
I have done a lot of investigating. I have it confirmed that they dated for at least several years. They are not a part of social media anymore. I am not sure what to do. I don't want to push him away, but part of me just wants the truth. He's very active on his phone, and I see him texting her when we are together. Does he do the same to her?
Because of social media, I was able to find out where she is from. When we do not hang out on the weekends he post things and my friend Mark Zuckerberg gives away his location. What do I do at this point? My heart hurts. | What do you do when you still want to have fun, but your feelings get in the way after finding out there is another person involved? |
t3_1yx5pv | jobs | Is Indosys a legitimate recruiter for Google? | Hey, /r/jobs.
Earlier today, I received an e-mail from an individual named "Agila Ram" at Indosys Corporation, which claims to be a technical recruiter for a number of high-profile technology corporations. The e-mail indicates that, based on my background (they offer no indication of how they discovered my "background," whether through LinkedIn or a resume posted on a job site), they think I might be a good fit for a 12-month contract Content Editor position at a nearby Google office.
I'm skeptical, so I called the Google office in question to see if I could learn whether Indosys is, in fact, used for contract recruitment, but the individual answering the phone said she could not provide that information and couldn't forward me to anyone who could unless I could provide her the name of an HR contact. She then hung up on me.
I ran a search for the position itself, but Google does not indicate that it's looking for a Content Editor in any capacity at any of its offices. I checked out the Indosys website, which exists, but that doesn't exactly instill me with burgeoning confidence. I also found [this thread from 2011] which doesn't really resolve the question, either.
I also ran a search for Indosys on LinkedIn and found an individual who claimed she was employed as a contract worker at Google through Indosys.
I'm not sure whether or not I should proceed. The e-mail says that, to proceed, I must send them my updated resume and contact information. They also offer contact info at the bottom of the e-mail, including an e-mail address and a phone number. I should probably call them, but I'm also not sure what to ask them to help me verify their legitimacy.
Any help would be immensely appreciated. | Received sketchy recruitment e-mail for too-good-to-be-true position. Might actually be legitimate? Need help assessing its validity. |
t3_2yywty | relationships | How do I [19f] get my coworker [21m] to respect my personal space? | I've worked with my coworker for two and a half years now, so we know each other relatively well. He's even offered to go on a couple of dates with me in the past, but nothing ever happened.
Here's the problem: he's a very touchy person. Normally, if he ever invades my personal space, I let him know and he always backs off. However, it's a pattern for him. He does it consistently and I don't feel like telling him in every single instance that I don't like him touching me or him being in such close proximity of me. I've always been assertive in letting him know that what he does bothers me, but he doesn't seem to *want* to get the message.
I (like a lot of other people) like having my own personal bubble, which I think is fair enough. Additionally, I went through a traumatic event last year that has made me even more wary and anxious about physical contact (*especially* from men).
I think it could be his way of flirting with me. I don't want to hurt his self-esteem or for him to take it personally, but he needs to know that people have boundaries. So, my question is how can I respectfully let him know (without going into detail about my personal issues) that I cannot have any unsuspected physical contact from people? | A coworker [21m] is very touchy with me [19f] and it makes me anxious and uncomfortable. How can I let him know and get him to stop without him taking it personally? |
t3_1nzfyq | relationships | My (31M) Wife (29F) is spending our 1 year anniversary with her bridesmaids. | Well it's been a rough year.
My wife had a travelling job, basically only coming home 1 week a month which was shortened to 3 days at home. She decided it was time to change jobs. Which she did, and starts shortly after her little vacation. This change in job requires a small relocation as her job was providing a place to live as well. Now before she left this past weekend, with everything going on, utilities, lease signing, truck rentals, my car needing fixing, her car needing fixing, it nearly completely slipped my mind.
I had a bouquet of flowers delivered prior to her leaving. She was ecstatic about it. So she leaves and I'm left with about 75% of the move out/move in to do including all the furniture. I know her trip was planned well in advance, in fact they made plans to do this since the wedding and I knew about it, but only in the last month or so knew the exact dates, due to her hectic job. Furthermore I only realized it was on our anniversary a few days prior to this past weekend, her leaving date.
Should I be upset? Angry? Should I confront when she comes home? Is this normal behavior? Or should I be happy she gets to spend time with her bridesmaids? | Wife changed jobs (yay!), but this causes a move 75% required by me to complete, pretty much on my own. She is 500mi away on our 1st anniversary with friends. |
t3_2wsydl | relationships | Me [29M] with my fiance [25F] 2.5 yr relationship, trouble dealing with her anger | There's not much to say, we're both quirky people but get along famously for the most part. She moved in with me 2 months ago after I had proposed to her 5 months ago.
We've had maybe one argument a month for the last year, only a couple of them were serious.
I really don't like conflict but stand up for myself when it would actually help a situation. Tonight she became completely irrationally angry that I wouldn't put the clean cutlery away because I was half way through typing up an application (for her work).
Anyway, details of her behavior for the rest of the day are irrelevant beyond saying she threw a tantrum, left, returned, continued tantrum.
I honestly try to be calm and understanding but I had work to do. I told her that it was not fair on me for her to be in such a horrible mood because I needed to focus and not have someone mumbling and swearing in the background.
Anyway she left again, that was 4 hours ago.
Her car is here, it's 10pm (UK) and although I think I did the right thing I'm getting a little worried. She's ignored a call and a text message and she hasn't got any friends within walking distance. I'm assuming she either got a friend to pick her up or has gone to a pub to cool off. Pubs near here close at 11 and i've never dealt with a partner doing anything this irrational before. | Partner threw a tantrum and left, without a car or any local friends I'm worried for her safety. Any advice? |
t3_3ek7ln | relationships | Me [30F] stole something from a friend's apartment 6 years ago. We're not friends anymore and I feel horrible. | My friend was in med school and traveled to her hometown for the summer while I stayed in the city. She asked if I'd sublet her apartment for a discounted rate while she was away. I happily agreed.
I don't know why I did it. I guess I thought she wouldn't notice because she left it in her closet. It was a really cute American Apparel skirt that I couldn't afford - so I took on the last day I moved out.
I've never worn it because I've felt so enormously guilty. Every time I accidentally see it at the bottom of my drawer I cringe. I feel awful, and I think about it all the time for some reason. It's the worst thing I've ever done to a friend. I don't steal and I really don't know why I took it.
She never tried to reconnect with me after she got back and defiantly noticed it was gone. She's since deleted facebook and hasn't added me on any other social media. Since finishing med school she's stopped hanging with all of our old friends and I haven't spoken with her since giving her back her key 6 years ago.
I guess I should try and move on?
I've considered telling her I found it in some old luggage and thought it was mine this whole time (I do have a skirt extremely similar, again - not sure why I stole it) or should I just let her be? There's a pretty small chance she'll even believe me.
I just hate the thought that I did this to someone who trusted me in their house and I completely betrayed them. | stole a skirt while subletting a friends apartment 6 years and I feel awful for it all and think about it often. |
t3_pbvgn | AskReddit | What is something your pet has done that caused emergency personnel to be dispatched? | This morning I met several good looking guys from our local fire department. I'd gone to get something out of the freezer and smelled gas. Flipped out, called 911 and out came the firemen. Apparently my dog had turned the knob on the grill and we had not turned off the propane tank. Not a natural gas leak.
Another time, the sheriff came to the door at 2am to ask my mom's help in rounding up the neighbors horses which were running amok. Turned out to be our horses and since we had just moved in to the neighborhood we got to meet everyone in the area the next weekend by going around and fixing the holes in their lawns. | Dog turned on gas grill, FD came out for a gas leak. And horses got loose, sheriff asked for help. |
t3_18ah2d | AskReddit | Dreams; what is the strangest way you've blurred the lines between being awake and dreaming? | For example, quite some time ago I was not working and spent most of my time at home obsessively playing Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare(in the first person) on xbox live, so much so that I began playing it in my sleep. Well, one night during my regular CoD dreams, I bust out a frag grenade and begin cooking it off. I watch the aiming reticule count down (it flashes 3 times to indicate how soon it will explode) and when it reaches ~2.5 I throw. Well... For some reason my hand and arm became held back and as the realization that I couldn't escape the explosion hit me, I had a moment of extreme panic that escalated until----- I EXPLODED. When I awoke and swiftly sat up in bed, I realized that my arm had quit working because my girlfriend had been sleeping on it and it had gone completely numb... | Dreamt I was playing CoD MW and cooked a grenade until it exploded and killed me because my arm quit working. Turned out my gf was laying on me and made my arm go to sleep. |
t3_2kb4ur | relationships | Me [29 M] with my _ex_gf_ [29 F] duration 5yrs, continuous contact after breakup by her. | Was with my girlfriend for 5 years. We split 5 months ago and I immediately went no contact. Did not break it.
We split because throughout the relationship she lied to me about talking to her ex. I said I would be ok with it if you would let me know when it happened, being that he was portrayed as an emotionally abusive psycho that she had to move back across the country from. This led to numerous contacts without me knowing and eventually she changed his name in her phone, as I found out through snooping 5 years into the relationship. Side note, she also met up with him once that I know of.
I had a rough couple of months, I mean rough. I am still healing and focusing on myself, but fairly consistently she has contacted me. I initially did not block her phone but did block facebook so I would not see any updates or check.
In the month following our breakup she immediately started dating and sleeping around. Queue one month after breakup, first contact. Wants to know if I want to meet up, mind you I had no idea she had already started dating/sleeping with other people. I decline.
Month two, she contacts and opens up with that she dated and slept with other people but feels I am what she wants. Tell her that if it had worked out any of these other guys she pry would not be talking to me. Who knows, I decline saying I'm not going to be a backup plan or safety net.
It is now going on 5 months and I am still getting emails. Just received a rather long one detailing some very personal things I have battled throughout my life and she feels worried about me still and cares and loves me. I have not responded to this email but I am tempted to write a very cordial email explaining that she needs to stop contacting me. I can't get over her sleeping with other people so soon after our relationship ended. I do not feel I could ever look at her the same. I have not dated or slept with anyone, instead opting to focus on work and working out/eating right. | Still being tormented by Ex GF, want to know why people do what they do and if it would be a mistake to ask her to stop contacting me or if I should just ignore entirely. |
t3_2qgbmb | relationship_advice | I [M25] with gf [f25] are getting tested for the first time. It's been many years since our last tests. If I test positive, how do I approach her with it while preserving our sex life? | So my gf and I have been together a couple of months and have a very active sex life together. We've been using condoms since the beginning, but she plans on starting the pill soon, which means we might do away with the condoms for now.
We both agreed to get tested before doing so. She is just out of an 8 year monogomous relationship and isn't too worried about herself. I have been more of an active agent; I havent gotten tested since I was about 18.
I don't believe I have any STDs (everything looks alright down there), but of course that a very stupid assumption to make. So, assuming I do end up positive with something, how do I talk to her about it without disgusting her?
Also, are there any STDs I could've given her even when wearing a condom? I eat her out often / she blows me often as well. Additionally, I get what could be cold sores on my face, though I'm not educated enough to tell if they are not pimples / ingrown hairs. | Getting tested for STDs, not sure how to talk to GF if I end up having one and preserving our sex l |
t3_32wx87 | relationships | I (21F) saw my boyfriend's (23M) group texts making fun of my best friend (21F) | Sorry for the formatting its my first post. My boyfriend and his friends have a group text that they chat on all day. Today I saw a screen shot of my best friend's tweet and a load of mean comments from his friends about her. I had seen this about a year ago and got really mad, but my boyfriend asked me not to say anything so that it wouldn't cause problems. I had totally forgotten about it until I saw the tweet today and he admitted that it is a pretty frequent thing. I was upset because I thought we all got along great and were way too mature for this kind of stuff. My boyfriend doesn't contribute to the posts about her but instead is a bystander, which I let him know still upsets me a lot. The kicker is one of his friends in the group text is also my cousin who initiates most of the rude comments and posts. I asked my boyfriend to confront his friends but he thinks it's not big enough of a deal to cause problems with his friends over because his friends are constantly making fun of people in this way. The reason I was so angry was because the comments were very hurtful and a lot of them mentioned hating her in which my boyfriend said none of them have any valid reason to. I asked if he would mind if I texted my cousin and politely asked him to delete my friend off of social media if she bothers him. Do you think I'm overreacting? I don't feel right staying quiet about this issue but I'd like some other opinions! Thanks! | Saw my boyfriend's groups texts with his friends making fun of my best friend. Wondering if I should confront them or if I'm overreacting |
t3_zaj7g | AskReddit | My friend has, for all intents and purposes, cheated on his wife and bragged about it to me. How should I approach this? | First of all, I'm a woman. I don't know what inspired my male friend to confide in me, but he recently told me that while he hasn't had sex with any women except his wife, he has come extremely close to it with a number of women.
During our conversation, he gushed about his fairly recent college encounter with a woman who was "toned, athletic, beautiful, confident. She had it." They fooled around, but didn't go all the way. He and his wife were dating at this point. When I asked him why he didn't just break up with his then-girlfriend-now-wife so he could pursue other women, he said he didn't want to lose her, but that he "should have dumped her ass." He bragged about how easy it is to hide things from his wife.
I also know that he tried to seduce a mutual friend via email and "hang out secretively." She didn't take him up on his offer, but he was obviously looking to be unfaithful to his wife.
I don't know what to do! Should I describe the conversation and the attempted infidelity to his wife? He obviously doesn't think of his wife as he should. He said that she knows some of his philandering, but not even close to all of it. If he had said she knew more about it, I would ignore the issue and assume she knew what she was doing, as stupid as that may be. | My friend doesn't talk about his wife as he should, has essentially cheated on her, and bragged about his infidelity to me. I don't know what to do. Should I leave the issue be or tell his wife? |
t3_42ynma | relationships | Me [26 F] with a guy I am dating [29 M] for 4 months are in a complicated situation (mostly me) | I have been dating this guy for about 4/5 months. Things got more serious about 2 months ago. Neither of us was seeing other people; we told our families that we were seeing someone, and told other people that we were "seeing" someone. But, we hadn't met families yet. I thought we were moving towards the whole exclusivity stage.. but I was wrong. When we first met he mentioned how he wanted to move in the future, but never had a timeline or anything. Then about a week or so ago when I was over, out of the blue he told me he was moving and planned to have his place packed up by the end of the month. By moving I mean to another state. I was completely shell shocked. I confronted him later that night through text because I was too shocked to do it face to face earlier. We decided to still continue to talk until he moves.
we have been talking every day since then, and the other night he even told me "goodnight beautiful". But if I don't initiate the conversation, we will not talk. I know he is just keeping me around until something better comes along, and that he doesn't really like me, but i can't seem to get rid of him. | guy i was dating keeps stringing me along and i am not sure how to end it. Not sure why he keeps talking to me and saying nice things if we both know it's going nowhere. |
t3_fubgz | loseit | Can you "make up for yesterday" by being over-restrictive? | I've read many times that eating too few calories can mess with your metabolism and it just overall a bad idea. But is that just for long term? For instance, yesterday I overate, or rather, overdrank, by having two beers, 300 calories over. I was not hungry this morning so I skipped breakfast and now I added up my calories for the day, and it's going to be very low. Tomorrow I will be back to normal, I'm sure. Is this a functional way to count calories, to make up for the previous day? I have a week counter on my loseit app, and sometimes I'm always trying to make up for bad days so that the week is under at the end of the week. | is restricting your calories dramatically for one day going to cause health problems and will it help if you went over the day before? |
t3_2n1rj9 | askwomenadvice | A friend of mine scripted this for me. I feel like I'm going to scare the hell out of a girl. What do you think? | I've been into a girl from my social circle in college for months. I've asked for the help of a female friend of mine, and we set an ultimatum for December 10th. She advised me to ask her to go to Starbucks Coffee and tell her this (we're not Americans, this is a translation, BTW):
> [Insert Girl's name here] you know I like you a lot and you're one of the cutest girls I've ever met [it should be noticed that in my country/language "cute" has little to do with looks. It's almost entirely a behavioral thing]. But when relating everyday [I've looked for an English synonym, haven't found an acceptable one. The word says that I see her and relate with her everyday] with a person like you it's impossible to not develop feelings...
I feel like it's too much of a confession, a confession that obviously would never work (they only do at the movies). What do you think? I feel like doing this would be like flying a plane into a mountain. | Have a crush for a friend, another friend told me to "almost-confess" to her. What do you think? |
t3_194pv0 | dating_advice | (18/m) first date help with (17/f) | So i've known this girl for 6 years and we've always been friends. I asked her out yesterday but her response was, 'we'll have one date but i don't want to lead you on.'
Normally, that probably means i'm in the friendzone or maybe she just doesn't like me and feel pity (i hope not) so she's just agreeing this once. Well, I'm done being down about it. I'm seeing this as a challenge, I have one date to prove to her that I'm worth her while.
So the help i need is, well I got a good list of venues and stuff she likes to do which i also enjoy. I'm just wondering on how grand should i make this date considering it's like my only chance.
*Should I make the date long with multiple venues?*
*Should we do some stuff that'll keep us occupied, but not to the extent of movies? (idk what yet)*
*Should I make it like a simple walk-in-park then grab some coffee?*
*Include dinner or no dinner?*
*Should I spend a lot of money or not? (I won't be able to sustain spending tons of money every date but yeah this is one-time thing) | I like a girl i've been friends with for 6 years, she's not interested and I have 1 date to make her my gf. Reddit, please answer any or all questions I've put or any other general pointers. |
t3_1bt234 | relationships | (19F) Am I wrong for not wanting to go to my boyfriend's (19M) tonight? | My boyfriend had a very flirty relationship with one of his female friends/coworkers, to the point I consider it cheating. I gave him a second chance, but it's not just something I can forget obviously.
I never feel good enough for my boyfriend anymore and just a bunch of other shit, but I can't talk to my boyfriend about it because he still feels awful about it.
Anyways, he's still friends with this girl because they work together. Everyone at his work are good friends, so if one person has a party then everyone is invited. It would be rude to exclude one of them.
My boyfriend really wants me to come to this party tonight, but I don't think I can do it. I told him I would go, but I'm thinking I'm just going to back out of it last second so he won't cancel the entire party..
So, would it be wrong for me just to stay home? And what do I tell him if I don't go? | Am I wrong for not wanting to go to my boyfriends party since the girl he emotionally cheated on me with is going to be there? |
t3_3ne4d4 | personalfinance | People I rent from are taking advantage of me financially, should I do anything? | I am a single female renting a room in a townhouse in New Jersey living with three other people: a female grad student in her own room, and a couple that shares the master bedroom with attached bathroom. I pay $650 a month, which is what I agreed to pay when I moved in about 5 months ago. It is a verbal agreement and I do not have a lease, the sole person on the actual lease is the female in the couple, who I write my rent checks to every month.
I recently learned through looking online and confirming with the other single female who has seen the lease before that it costs a total of $2,000 per month total to rent it. I pay $650, the other single girl pays $550, meaning that the couple who shares the master bedroom with private bathroom and walk in closet are paying $400 a month each. My room is smaller and I share a bathroom with the other girl.
While I knew how much I would be paying in rent when I moved in, I can't help but feel taken advantage of finding out this information. It seems like a very unfair way to split up the rent, and I feel somewhat resentful that I have felt like I was living in THEIR place.
So my question is, do I have the right to feel taken advantage of? Is this something I should discuss with them? I realize that they didn't do anything illegal or technically wrong, but I feel like I am being quite ripped off. | found out rent is being split very unequally/unfairly between the people I live with, should I confront them or anything? |
t3_2pdf8s | relationship_advice | Wife [23/F] no longer attracted to me after falling out of love with me[28/M] can we get it back? | My wife and I met 3 years ago and got married in February of 2012. We are going through a really really rough patch. Long story short I was going through depression and didn't realize it, spent the first year and a half of our marriage playing xbox and drinking whiskey while she took care of our 5 year old and our infant. I work she was a stay at home mom up until a few weeks ago.
We fought and she threatened to leave but we never worked on anything it was just arguing. Well I guess finally she had enough. She decided to leave me. About the same time I went and got my physical and after talking to my doctor she decided that I had some anxiety/depression issues and mild ADD so she got me on some medication and I'm like a new man, I have so much drive and happiness.
I've done a 180 (mind you it hasn't been very long only a few weeks). I put the xbox away and haven't had a drop to drink and quite some time, months. She was still planning on leaving but I guess my effort and the difference in my personality and just overall behavior got her to rethink leaving me. This weekend she told me she was willing to go to counseling after a month of telling me no. So I was super excited and ready to go to counseling and get back on our track to a happy family and marriage.....
Then,, yesterday we came home from her fathers house and she was acting kind of strange. We get home and she finally comes out with it. She's not attracted to me, she feels nothing when she kisses me or when I touch her. There is even a slight repulsion. Needless to say I was destroyed.
I'm hoping that this is normal, that given the amount of emotional pain and distance that she associates me with negativity and that's caused her to no longer be attracted to me. Is that true? Is this something we can get back? | Wife fell out of love with OP and now we are trying to work on things but she is no longer attracted to me, is that normal? Or fixable? |
t3_3gpg7x | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [29 M], married 6 years, he made out with another woman last night | I am utterly devastated. My husband, my best friend, my only love, made out with another woman last night while we were drinking.
We are visiting another country and arrived yesterday. We were going to call it an early night but met a nice couple at the hotel bar and stayed up very late drinking. We finally made it back to our room around 3am and that's when he told me.
A bit of backstory here: 4+ years ago, we were into swinging. It was always consensual and we never did anything without the other person there. It all ended when we moved to another city and I started my career. I also gained some weight and didn't feel comfortable meeting up with other couples anymore. I communicated this to him and (I thought) we had a mutual understanding that that period of our relationship was over.
He told me he made out with her while they were out to get cigarettes. Once at the subway station and once in the elevator.
His excuse was that he was trying to start a foursome with the other couple. He brought it up to her after they kissed and she said she didn't think her bf (who I was with in their hotel room) would be into it.
My husband and I are extremely close. We do just about everything together and our friends always tell us how adorable we are. We've been together all in all 9 years, married 6 years this September. I am sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do. All this time we have had together and it just makes me so utterly broken that he would kiss another woman.
We have 6 more days on this vacation and it is absolutely ruined. What do I do? Can I forgive him? Should I forgive him? Please help... | My husband of 6 years made out with a other woman while we were drinking last night on vacation. I am completely broken. |
t3_zfas5 | AskReddit | I just got DDoS'd by the self proclaimed "hackers" of ICanHasGrief, without saying more than four words to them. What kind of action can I take against them? | I'm always on a Skype call with a few people that I game with. Today, I went on the call and among the familiar voices, I heard two voices that seemed out of place; I hadn't heard them before. It was after I asked everyone in the chat "who are these people?" that a friend dragged me out of the call explaining that these people were "professional hackers" he invited, and that I shouldn't get on their bad side. Before I can get on their good side, let alone their bad side, his voice starts to crackle, the call was dropped, and my internet went down.
All the confusion and rage went on for about half an hour with my family, in which I later found out, after my connection was normal again, it was just "a little joke" annotated from the few of my friends still in the Skype call, as I have explained to me, what had just happened.
Although no damage was done, I'm really bothered that I was attacked for no reason whatsoever. Is there any kind of action I can take? They can't be that good at "hacking" if all they do is take down Minecraft servers. | I got "hacked" by a bunch of self-proclaimed "hackers" from the renowned YouTube channel "ICanHasGrief". What can I do about it? |
t3_4o87qz | legaladvice | [PA] Legal responsibility for wasting a salesperson's time | Pennsylvania.
A local business has outsourced their telemarketing to an unknown firm. The telemarketing firm is likely outside the US and is ignoring my presence on the "do not call" list, is placing about 30 automated calls (not an exaggeration) to my cell phone daily (47 USC 227) with no business relationship, and has ignored my requests to stop calling.
Today I played dumb and answered all the telemarketer's screening questions. I was transferred to a sales agent selling a local company's services. I plan on accepting the agent's offer to send one of their representatives to my home (about a 45 minute drive each way) to discuss their offerings.
When he arrives, I'll listen to his sales pitch and maybe ask a few questions. When he's finished, I'll weigh their obnoxious telemarketing against their product, and may decide not to purchase. If this is the case I'll tell the agent why.
Since this is a sales process initiated by the business, and since there's no contract in place, would the business be able to hold me responsible for what they'll no doubt consider "wasting" their time? | if I accept a salesperson's offer for an in-person appointment at my location with the intention of not buying what they're selling, could I be held liable for wasting the salesperson's time? |
t3_d92ke | AskReddit | Can anyone help with my finger that has been swollen for about a week and a half? | I am currently working in the mountains, so my concept of time is a little off. I think my finger has been swollen for about a week or two but not quite sure how long.
My friend and I were fooling around at work, and he threw a grill spatula at me. I tried to block it with the saute pan I was holding (yes I know, this sounds very intelligent) and it hit my knuckle instead and split it right to the bone.
We wrapped it that night with Neosporin, gauze, and medical tape. The next day I washed it out a little better, butterflied it just in case, even though it was pretty closed up, and wrapped it again. After a few days I took of the bandage, and it's been closed up. However, my finger is still twice the size it usually is, and my knuckle is pretty big. Last night I woke up every couple hours in quite a lot of pain, and had to prop my hand up a bit on a pillow for the pain to lessen. My friend told me the swelling is due to all the white blood cells, but I wanted a better opinion. I can kind of bend it, but not too far without it feeling strained or without a bit of pain. | My finger is swollen because it was split at the knuckle to the bone, and I'm not sure if it's bad that it has been swollen for this long. |
t3_29ynhl | Advice | Situation with our careless subletting of studio apartment | A month ago I decided to move out of my and my girlfriend's apartment to live with my mother and brother while my mother was going through her divorce. So for the last month, she's been unofficially subletting a person she met through a mutual friend, telling the subletter she can move in indefinitely. Word got to my landlord when the subletter tried to pay rent with a check in her name and basically asked us (my gf and I are on the lease) to decide if the subletter is moving in or not.
We've decided that she is not, and I'd be living back with my gf and paying rent next month. Trouble is, the subletter will probably not be pleased with the decision. I know we did a very shitty job of handling the subletting situation (and learned from it), but basically we need an excuse to tell the subletter that she cannot stay. I feel like the outright truth will cause problems and my gf would not feel safe while the subletter transitions out. We decided we can give her until the 17th to move out, as we've planned a trip and do not want the subletter alone while we're gone for the week.
as leverage we can offer:
my car and services to transport her things,
live at the apartment until the 17th for free, a city parking pass as she can longer park in our lot.
My current plan is to tell her that the landlord is simply a stickler and won't allow for a roommate change, and we're terribly sorry for what's happened but she has to leave by the 17th.
Please let me know what you guys think of my plan of action. | need to convince secret subletter out of our apartment without drama so I can move back in, what's the best thing to tell her? |
t3_3xy8n1 | relationships | Me [28/F] with my boyfriend [26M] of a month. I don't find us compatible, but when is the "best" time to break up with Christmas in a few days? | To make a long story sort of short, We started talking on OKCupid about 1.5 months ago, which turned into texting. After about 2 weeks of texting, we met. It was great! I was incredibly happy that I found a guy who almost perfectly aligned with my future goals, morals, hobbies, etc. We met up a few more times and it continued on great. We asked each other questions, told stories, etc.
He facebook relationship requested me really quickly, but whatever I was super happy, so I accepted it. Then on our **fourth** date, he says "I can't believe I'm saying this..I love you" ....wait..what?! Holdup, no sir please don't say that to me. I told him that was weird and I was uncomfortable that he said it after knowing me for four-ish days. We hadn't fought, had sex, seen each other at our worst - I don't think you could possibly know you love someone without all those pieces happening.
That was a month ago. I can't do this relationship anymore. The honeymoon phase ended when he told me that. I see all his faults and how we aren't as compatible as I first thought.
But to keep this to what my actual question is - when is appropriate to break up with him? We are supposed to do Christmas Eve and a gift exchange with his family, but depending on when I dump him, I don't know if I should even start making his family gifts (personalized glasses that I was going to work on today but because I have been torn up thinking, I didn't know if I should even start them!) and he is giving me a computer desk he had already been building this summer. I don't want him to think I'm using him for gifts (granted, I'd make him take the desk back or just not bring it over at all.) and I definitely don't want to ruin his Christmas. I'm just unsure of how to do this. I don't want to drag it out, he can tell I'm off lately as it is. This is a big Catch 22 for me. | Meet fantastic guy. Just 4 dates in he says that he loves me. I lose that spark and now see our incompatibilities. Without dragging the relationship on, when is the best time to break up - before or after Christmas? |
t3_13jqdp | running | How to cure every day soreness | I've only been running for just over a year, and about 3 months ago I got a horrible injury. There was referred pain from my hips/core in my knees and I could barely walk, let alone run. When I finally came back, I eased into it, and have since built my mileage up to ~30 miles a week (4-5 miles a day Monday-Friday and 6-7 on Saturday, then Sunday off). Recently, however, after coming back, I've realized an INCREDIBLE amount of just general soreness. I'm always sore. Walking around is agonizing. Sometimes I have to limp a bit to ease the pain. After walking around for a few minutes, it feels better, but when I have a class and I get up from my chair, I can hardly stand. The only time I feel fine is when I'm running UPHILL or on FLAT land. Running downhill (as in, a steep incline -- gradual downhills are fine), my legs feel like they're going to give out from under me. It's horrible.
I always do some form of warm-up before my run, and I stretch when I'm done. I have some strengthening exercises I've been doing until I'm fully recovered from the hip injury.
Have any of you experienced something similar? Could it be a sign of something more serious? For reference, the pain is typically in my calves, ankles, and shins. Occasionally it'll be my knee or my quads, but that's pretty uncommon. | Incredible soreness in my calves/ankles/shins that only goes away when I'm running on a flat surface or uphill. Even walking around hurts. Wat do? |
t3_2zqy15 | relationships | I [20 M] still love my girlfriend [20 F] of 3 years but think about breaking up with her all the time | To preface: She has been my first and only love. We lost our virginities to each other and I would consider her my best friend but I can't help but think about what life without her would be like.
We talk about the future a lot and, to her, the idea that we're going to be together forever is a given. She likes to talk about the house we'll live in, the kids we'll have, and the things we'll do but I can't picture myself being completely content if the next 40 years are the same as the last three even though we have a generally great relationship: good communication, decent sex, lots of great conversations.
The idea of living without her makes me sad and the idea of breaking up with her breaks my heart.
Maybe it's because she was the first girl that I fell in love with and only girl I've ever had sex with that I'm always wondering what it would be like if I didn't go down this path. Since dating, we have become relatively isolated and my social life and social skills have seriously declined. Most of my friend group has moved away while I stayed in my city to pursue school and be with her. I don't even know what I would do if we weren't together. I know I'm young but it feels like I wouldn't be able to experience this kind of relationship again.
She's still crazy in love with me and I still love her. She treats me like a king, always makes me smile, and I connect with her in a way that I've never connected with anybody before. I just can't shake that nagging feeling that this isn't how it should be. I don't want to make a decision that I'll regret for the rest of my life.
Don't know what kind of advice I'm hoping to hear but I just had to get this off my chest. Has anyone experience anything like this? | I don't know if I would be making a big mistake by breaking up with my girlfriend. We still love each other, but something's telling me that this isn't how it should be |
t3_3gqica | jobs | Do blacklists/no-hire lists exist? | This might be one of the dumber submissions on this subreddit, but I really needed to find some help. I walked out of my job at Target last year to continue school--no warning, no two weeks notice. I was fed up with where I was and I didn't fully think out the consequences.
The ridiculous and stupid part of it is that working in the food/cafe section of the store, I was eating some of the food I had to toss out and even gave employees free cookies and such, essentially stealing from the company; stupid as it may sound, I did it because others were doing it and they've been working there for a couple or more years. The new supervisor that was recently promoted at the time didn't know how to print out the schedule, so she printed out the wrong one that had private information about the employees and put it up for us to see. Next to my name was an icon indicating some sort of warning. It was only an icon, but the symbol alone was enough to understand what it meant; the same one appeared next to another employee I know they have issues with. When it was brought to a more experienced supervisor's attention, she immediately threw the schedule away.
I was incredibly scared after seeing that and was worried what actions they'd take. At that time, I was thinking I'm working two part time jobs, have no degree, going no where in my life, and now I might have some serious consequences at work. It really made me realize how stupid I was for eating their food, much less not going to school when my friends were starting their lives after graduating with their bachelors or masters, and my confidence took a hit. I couldn't face work anymore and just left without any warning. They called me for the next week and I avoided all of them until they eventually stopped. Stupid decisions after another.
My question is, what are the possible consequences? I'm graduating this semester and didn't think back to what I did until now as I'm applying for part-time, minimum wage jobs while I finish up school. I'm afraid I might be put up on a blacklist for what I did and won't be able to find even the simplest jobs, much less a high-paying job. | Essentially stole by eating the food at the cafe section of Target while working there. Walked out/quit with no notice. I'm afraid I'm now on a no-hire list. |
t3_2ro4zh | relationships | I [18M] am having second thoughts about my gf [18F] after 2 years. | Throwaway for reasons.
Hoping to get some advice on whether or not I should break up with her, or any advice on keeping the relationship going while having differing views.
Me and my gf have been going out for over 2 years now, and for the most part it has been great.
The last few days however I found that many of her opinions on controversial issues (Such as Abortion or Gay Marriage etc etc) are the exact opposite of mine. Furthermore while I tend to stick to "These are my opinions, but I don't care if yours are different" (At least as best I can) she very strongly believes that hers are the only right views.
I've known about her views for some time, however up until a few days ago I thought we could just agree to disagree and move on.
A couple of conversations over the last few days have made it quite clear that she has no interest in letting me have my opinions, and she has hers, but instead expects that one of us will just change our views to match the other, and heavily implied that it will be me.
At this point I considered ending it with her, but wasnt sure whether it needs to go that extreme over something that frankly I don't care about nearly as much as she does.
Talking to my good friend about it, he confirmed what I was thinking and said that something very similar happened to one of his relationships, and that at the beginning he thought he could just deal with it, but that as his relationship went on it started to bother him more and more.
I feel very guilty about thinking about ending the relationship over something I view as so trivial, but from what she's saying I'm getting the vibe that she wants me to change all of my views, or else she'll think I'm a horrible person.
This is both of our first relationships, and I'm just really not sure what to do. Any advice is thoroughly appreciated.
Thank you. | My SO of 2+ years has wildy different opinions on controversial issues than me, and I'm getting a strong vibe that she expects me to change my views to match hers |
t3_l215j | AskReddit | Reddit: Why does it feel like I've become dumb, or slower than I was not so long ago ? Anybody else ? | Hi Redditors!
Is there something physically wrong with me that I should worry about, or could it just be my perception of myself ? Maybe remembering myself as being smarter and faster than I actually was ?
I'm noticing that I have slowed down at work to the point of being worried about my job. Until a few months ago I could spew out a really complex, impressive answer to almost anything regarding my job (Systems Admin) and I accomplished some amazing things at work. Now I get angry when management asks for an explanation, and I can barely form a coherent sentence.
I actually sometimes struggle to verbalise an English sentence! I jumble my words sometimes and end up mumbling! It's frustrating! I used to be incredibly articulate and was often complimented on the way I used to express myself. Now it's just like: "Hey, MingeBagZA - Why is our network so slow"? And I'll be like "Uhhh, fuck, I dunno. Could be cause, uhhh, like everybody is transferring so many big files across our network or summin. Dunno man." That is if I didnt mess up that answer and skip over half the words.
It's also affecting me outside of work. I used to be noticeably more articulate and I just generally sounded smart. Now I sound dumb, and mess up at least 10% of the sentences I try to say. I forget words which I used to use all the time as well. :(
It's also my written word. I was looking at some older emails of mine today, and I was impressed by the way I used to communicate - so clear, so smart. Not so much anymore.
On top of all this, I feel super unmotivated to do anything! I am bored at work, I procrastinate in everything I do, and I have lost all my creativity.
Any ideas, Reddit? It's really bothering me! I will answer any questions asked to help determine the cause and resolution! THanks guys! | I used to be awesome, and clever. Now I can't think straight and I mess up basic English sentences sometimes. |
t3_h76h3 | AskReddit | Help finding a song about a man who cheats on his cancerous wife then kills his mistress in a car crash | So I was in Amsterdam this January with a buddy and while we were at a coffee shop they were showing a music countdown.
One of the songs was accompanied by a music video that could rival soap operas in both story and production. It was about some guy who was married then found out his wife had cancer and then was cheating on her with some brunette with curly hair, at this point the video had some sort of split screen showing both of this lives with the two women. Then the guy got into some car crash and killed the mistress and ended up living with his cancerous wife who at this point was bald, oh and they had a daughter.
I don't remember much about the singer other than he was white, shortish hair, a bit chubby and possibly had a gap in his teeth, the memory is a little hazy.
Just wondering if anyone here knows what song that was, I don't remember it being particularly good, but the music video was entertaining and I'd like to know what it was for the sake of memories.
Thanks | anyone know the name of the song whose music video is about a guy who cheats on his cancerous wife, kills the mistress, and lives happily ever with his wife and daughter? |
t3_3x6vzf | tifu | TIFU - Making my wife cry to Johnny Walker's new commercial. | So my wife had seen this [Extra Gum - Marriage Proposal] commercial which she finds romantic, she says she gets emotional every time she watches this commercial. I told her that I had a better commercial that would jerk a few tears. This commercial was the [Johnny Walker - Dear Brother] Well right at the end when he dumped his Ashes on the mountain ledge, my wife is holding her hands on her face, hyperventilating, balling tears. **I say** "Was that not an excellent commercial? It hit me a few times as well." I get no response from her. She told me that she hated me for showing it to her especially during December. December 10th of 2009, she lost her father to pancreatic cancer and the commercial reminded her of him, although the commercial was titled Dear Brother, to her is was Dear Father. I am sure I will receive the silent treatment for the next few days. | Told wife I had an emotional commercial that would blow her feels out of the water. Made wife watch a commercial reminding her of her father who passed away in December. |
t3_4fh4sz | relationship_advice | Should I (18/f) talk to my boyfriend (22/m) about my fears? | * | super cheater ex has made me paranoid for my now current bf, who I'm afraid of cheating on me as well. |
t3_2zf18u | relationships | I (M24) just told my crush of 5 years my feelings and she (F21) was excited but their is a problem. | Throwaway because reddit is huge, but basically I just told a girl I have had a crush on for over 5 years how I feel about her. It was just a normal windy afternoon, when I decided to tell her, so I still don't know why I told her now but I did. The problem lies in the fact that she has been in a relationship for the past 5 years, and though their seems to be problems currently, I don't feel better and I'm basically thinking of her constantly. When I told her she seemed to like the confession and actually smiled and bit her lip, but out of respect for her and her family (I have known them and her for over 14 years) I didn't kiss her right there because, well to be truthful, I was still a little shy and scared of pushing her away.
Since the revelation I have been feeling like Gatsby near the end of the novel, where Daisy is unsure, but without the romantic resilience of Gatsby since I was told by her family that she was super excited by the news but that she wants to ride her relationship out, which could mean marriage. I'm not sure how to react since after talking to her parents I'm just anxious about ending up like Gatsby and never having a chance with Daisy. I'm not sure what would be the right next step besides working out like crazy and working, though I feel like I'm just escaping my body and literally "running" away from my thoughts.
I have enormous feelings for her and I have never wanted anyone else but her throughout the last 5 years. Though I have had lovers and relationships, they end because of how I feel for her and how I can't help but think she is my true love. I was raised by boys meets world, so basically I really belief this over romantic stuff, which doesn't help me feel better when my family says, "just focus on you and without expectations."
So what is my next move guys? Anything would be much appreciated :-) | I told my crush and she was excited about it, but she is in a 4 year long relationship and wants to ride it out, which could be marriage, what should I do/feel. |
t3_13pxcz | pettyrevenge | Simple daily revenge on crappy customer service rep co-worker | I used to work IT Desktop and Network support for a fairly small company (125 people). We had a customer service department that made up about 8 people; all female. They were all very nice to me (after all, I always fixed their problems), except for one. She really wasn't nice to anybody. You probably know the type.... overbearing, always thinking her problem was more critical than others, harrassing you by calling you 10 times in 30 minutes because you hadn't dropped what you were doing and run over to her computer immediately. That kind of stuff.
Anyhow, it was an easy enough job and I usually had free time to conjure up ideas of how to pay people back that messed with me too much. I also worked later hours than most so I could "work" uninterrupted.
This particular lady always complained about little stuff; very little stuff. That's how I got my idea. After the CS dept left for the day, I started going over to her desk and would do things like (carefully) break the lead in her pencil. I would try to do it where the break was inside the wood area. She would try to write with it and the tip would snap off. I would do this to every pencil in her desk. I also would take the cartridge of staples out of her stapler, drop a small drop of super glue on the under side of the staple cartridge, let it dry and put it back in. Her stapler would jam and she would curse. I would also dip the end of her pens in the super glue and let it dry. Then when she tried writing with them, they wouldn't and she would throw them away and order new ones.
After about two months of this, I overheard that she had gotten yelled at by management for "excessive use of office supplies". She remained a bitter person, but it was satisfying to listen to her complain all the time about how shitty the company's office supplies were.
It was the "perfect" revenge. | CS Rep was rude person, her office supplies suddenly kept failing; gets yelled at; complains even more; No one suspected anything. |
t3_2vo4oz | relationships | Me [21 M] just ended an almost 3 year relationship [19 F] don't know how to handle it. | To try to make a long story short, I recently ended an almost 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. It literally crushed her. I simply told her that it couldn't work out anymore. I simply didn't have feelings for her anymore and I refuse to have her be lead on. She of course did not take it very well and was crying as I left.
Literally not 10 minutes after I left her home she was sending text after text asking, "why I would do that to her", "she would've done anything for me", "she now knows what heart break is and didn't think I'd be the one to cause it." She sent me another text very early in the morning the next day and asked if I was cheating on her... That really grinded my gears and was the only one I responded to (I never or would ever cheat.) She then sent me another text asking the reason why I did it cause she said it doesn't make sense to suddenly not be in love with someone after 3 years.
She's not the only one hurting though. Even though I won't admit it to her, I miss and still care for her well being. She needs to be happy with someone that isn't me. Someone who won't have to fake the funk with her.
I just don't know if I should keep her last text unanswered or tell her something to try and comfort her, which is a fools errand. | Ended an almost 3 year relationship. Ex is convinced that something else was a factor. Do I keep her questions unanswered or keep telling her what has already been said. |
t3_2pw6pl | dating_advice | Need help getting closer romantically to a classmate | Hello, I am 16 years old and I am attracted to a girl in my class. I think she likes me too, but I am unsure because a lot of guys like her, including older ones but it does not seem like she is romantically involved with any of them. Some of the signs are:
- When we sit next to each other in class, we sit really close so our elbows and legs touch, even though we do not really have to because there is a lot of space, and she does not move away. Also during lunch she usually sits next to me.
- She pays a lot of attention to me, whenever I talk with the guys and she walks by and hears what I say, she comments on it. She also compliments me a lot, saying that I am so smart and diligent in school and that she wants my brain.
- Whenever we make eye contact we smile at each other and sometimes make weird expressions.
- During physical education class, when we ended up in the same team, she got really excited.
I am definitely sure she is interested in me somehow, but I do not know if she is attracted to me or not, I do not really know why she would be attracted to me anyway because a lot of guys want her. I am attracted to her though, and I definitely want to get closer to her, but I really do not know how.
She is usually with her two female friends, and approaching the three of them alone is kind of intimidating. I am also afraid of not being able to keep the conversation going, and even if I can keep it going, I am afraid it will be boring and uninteresting for both parties.
I am not totally inexperienced when it comes to talking to girls, I have a lot of female friends, but when it comes to talking to girls I like it is a completely different story. I feel like I have a lot of competition as well which makes it even harder for me to approach her because I do not want to screw up even though I know that I am going to have to take that risk if I want something to happen between us. | I like a girl in my class, she has shown signs of interest, but I do not know how to get closer to her romantically because it is intimidating. |
t3_2c38uh | pettyrevenge | Butterflies, Everywhere | So, once upon a time, I knew a person and we were friends. Long story short, they were abusive and cruel and I cut them out of my life.
I have no idea what they're doing now or where they are; I deleted all of their contact info and told my friends to never give me news of them. The last few years have been positively sunshiney without them!
But every once in a while I wonder if they're checking in on my social media and wondering what I'm up to. And just in case they do, I have a habit of reblogging any butterfly or moth picture that comes across my dash. Because they were terrified of them, you see. Even the teeniest of moths twenty feet away and through a glass window would send them screaming into a corner.
Mind you, I don't go out of my way to find pictures; I don't care nearly enough for that. But any time one crosses my dash I get a little grinch grin and hit the reblog button.
Sweet, petty revenge. | I cut ties with someone who was a dick to me, and as a revenge, on the chance they visit my blog, I reblog things they're afraid of, like butterflies. |
t3_4950bx | relationships | I (F23) don't think that my bf (M23) really cares anymore | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, and I really do love him a lot. He's funny and smart and we enjoy a lot of the same things. Everything was going really well until he lost his job about 5 months in. He's been kind of a haggard/grumpy mess ever since. He stopped being as affectionate and romantic. I wasn't getting cute texts or anything anymore, but I guess I understood why. I've put up with it and been as supportive as I can be because I know that losing his job must have felt awful.
He found a job which he started in February. He stopped being as stressed, but hadn't started back up with the affection and romance that was lost. I brought it up to him and asked that he try to send me cute texts and things sometimes, because that is something I need from my SO, especially if we haven't been together for a year. We're also long-distance, so that's the only way I'm going to get it unless we see each other on weekends. He said that he thought my expectations were too high, but I convinced him to try to work on it.
Well he's gotten kind of stressed again because of a test he is taking at work. Now, this test is over something I've studied before and I offer all the time to help him, but instead he drives to his parents' place (which is a few hours in the opposite direction of me) and gets his mom to help him. He's not even making smart decisions about fixing the stressful situations in his life.
This weekend he went to his parents to study again (instead of coming here to a tournament he had paid and signed up for, and the party that follows, and ya know, seeing me). I got home from that tournament and he was playing video games (he showed up on my friends list on steam). I told him that that bothered me because he didn't come here so he could study, and that it hurt my feelings, and all he said was 'Sorry charlie.'
So basically reddit, I need to know if you think he's stopped caring about me and the relationship, or if I should try and wait this out. | My boyfriend isn't acting like he cares that I'm upset and seems to not be working on our relationship. Should I dump him, or wait for him to get passed a stressful spot in his life? |
t3_2ynrlt | Advice | I have issues with my job | So, just like anyone that works retail just to get a paycheck, I hate my job. However, there are a couple key issues that I have that bug me because of how things are run there.
My biggest concern is that our store has multiple managers that oversee the sales floor for 2 hours at a time each day. These managers range from managers of certain departments, all the way up to the general store manager. The biggest issue is that when the general store manager, and "intimates category manager" (cuz she's not actually coded in as a manager) run the sales floor, they neglect to send their associates on their breaks in a timely manner (sometimes leaving the employees to take their breaks an hour before they're scheduled to clock out) or they neglect to answer an associate's call for assistance either with a register issue, disgruntled customer, or store theft.
There's also the issue that the "intimates manager" has the ability to access managerial clearance on the registers and back office computer only because she uses our general manager's ID and password because the general manager willingly gave her the information. That to me seems like and ethics issue.
We all have the problem of certain sales associates claiming sales as theirs, pretty much stealing sales from other associates, and when it's brought up to management all we hear is "It's a cut throat world out there. Get over it. Get your own sales up." Which would be possible if sneaky employees didn't hand out cards to clients that have their own name on it, just to get claims to a sale.
So my question is: How do I bring this up to HR without being brushed off as a petty disgruntled employee. | A regular employee is allowed to use the GM's ID and password, managers don't pay attention to their associates, and sales people are stealing other sales people's sales. How do I tell HR without being brushed off? |
t3_27vjt2 | Parenting | Everyday events with your kids; when to 'pre-load' and when not. | If you have young kids you might have come across the problem of mentioning you're going to do something good, and then have them ask you a million times when you're going to the party, the park, the shop, whatever.... They get ramped up with excitement and if you haven't gone made by then, they'll at least be overexcited, emotional, possibly not able to cope with it. Sometimes it's unavoidable, like birthdays and Christmas, other times you have control.
One approach is to not mention the event until the very last minute. Partly because circumstances like weather can dash any plans you had. But mainly because they don't need to know too much in advance, and it deals with that overexcitement issue. And it's less tiring for you.
But other times, it is useful to preload events and experiences. One such example: this weekend we took my son cycle racing, the last of four events he's been at. He'd seen other kids throughout getting trophies and been getting a bit tearful that he wasn't getting them. It was announced for the last event there would be winner and runner up trophies for the whole series. I knew he wouldn't get one, so the morning of the race I told him there would be trophies, but he wouldn't get one because he's just started, he's young for his age category, etc. We talked about what it meant to be 'sporting' and clap and celebrate other people doing well, and he listened. When it came to it, he saw the kids get their trophies, and ran up to tell me excitedly "I saw someone get two trophies!" with a big smile on his face. I was so proud. Especially as the other kids were in tears because they may have had higher expectations and then got nothing. | look ahead a few days and try and figure out what your kids need to know, and what they don't. It will save you all a lot of tears, hassle and headaches. |
t3_308cfk | relationships | I [31/f] want to help a friend [28/f] out of depression | My friend - a really smart woman has been going through a rough phase for the 15 months.
First it was a break-up - followed by a phase of alcohol and pot. Something about the pot affected her and made her very paranoid. She thought the whole world was plotting to harm her or was making fun of her. This went on for 2-3 months when she finally gave up her job and went back to her parent's home. She spent a few months there and then met someone and got engaged. The engagement didn't last long enough because the guy was sort of immature. But after this, she got a new job and moved to a new city. I thought this was for the best and that she would have more control of her life now.
But I was wrong. She lives all alone in a studio. She doesn't even have internet connection and watches TV all day when she is not working. She is worried that her apartment is not safe. She's worried about wars, rapes and crimes outside her control. I think she is also lonely. But she still has trust issues and refuses to make new friends. She's trying to hold on to us - her old friends - but as much as we care for her, we are all caught up with our own problems. And every time I talk to her, there is a lot of negativity to deal with that it sometimes depresses me (I am not exactly having an easy life myself - I just had a break-up a few months back and am working my ass off to cope up with it).
But I talk to her logically and point that there is nothing to worry about. I tell her as an adult she'll have to judge people more carefully but that shouldn't stop her from making new friends. She doesn't agree with me. I suggested therapy but she refuses to take help.
She's a really bright person who could do a lot better. How can I help her out of this? | How do I help a friend out of depression? She refuses to make new friends and spends most of her time in front of the TV. |
t3_uzbj0 | AskReddit | So I'm in a bit of a pickle, and need some advice. | So I'll try to keep this as short as possible, but a little backstory is needed.
I'm in college and will be a senior next year - and while most of my friends have internships, I don't. I emailed 20+ companies and haven't had any luck. So I was talking with the head of my department the other day, and he suggested a company for me to contact, and to give him as a reference.
This is great, the only problem is that there is a girl from school that interns there as well. A girl whom I had (and still kind of do) a crush on. Over the past school year this girl and I had become really good friends (maybe we still are?) - until I asked her out about a month ago. Now we hardly talk anymore (whereas before we used to talk almost everyday), and things just feel awkward and weird now with her.
So now I don't know what to do, the company is fairly small so I'd probably see her everyday. I don't know if I should tell her that I'm applying there, or if I should just apply and show up out of the blue. I feel like either way it'd make things weird, uncomfortable and that I'd come off creepy to her.
And the thing is, I'd REALLY like to have an internship this summer -and so far, this is the only promising lead. Though not getting an internship this summer isn't the end of the world, in my profession - not having one leaves you at a serious disadvantage once you graduate. | I have a potential internship opportunity at a company where a former crush who rejected me interns as well, and am unsure how to proceed. |
t3_3hshdw | relationships | I [23 F] think I'm being faded on by a guy [29 M] I've been dating for 3 months - Should I confront him? | Me and this guy met on POF sometime in June. He seemed to like me right away, and I liked him fine. Everything was going good, we dated 1-3 times a week every week. To get sushi, the movies, mini golf, etc. He kept telling me how much he thought I was cool, smart, attractive, awesome, etc. Constantly.
Then about two weeks ago he canceled the trip to the beach we were supposed to go on together, but he went alone and only told me later. Then this past week he barely texted me back. I asked him about it but he just said he has been busy. Then he has not contacted me again in 5 days, and I feel like he is hinting that it's over.
I really don't get why, or what I did wrong, or why he can't be direct with me. Do you think I should ask him about it again? Men, why might you do this? We both have not gotten exclusive yet (I don't know why, I did not want to pressure him with it if he did not want it, and it looked like we should have been exclusive soon?).
I also know he has been looking on POF again (because well sometimes I look at it too when I am bored and waiting in line or something). I think he might have found someone else, or simply got bored of me.
But besides his strange behavior in the last 2 weeks, everything was going great the past 3 months. He met my family and I was supposed to meet his. Sigh. | Things went great for 3 months, then lately my new dating partner has gone all but MIA on me. What do? Why? |
t3_454lo9 | relationships | Money in New Dating Relationships | I am a male in my 50s, divorced, having been married for 19 years.During the marriage my Ex didn't contribute one cent. All of the financial responsibility was on me.
Now that I am trying to date again I emphatically do not want that again. I want my dates and anyone who I might be in a relationship with to share the cost.
So now my experience is that on an initial date...or even a few dates in...the woman is perfectly happy to let me pick up the check. They never want to offer to share.Can I afford it? Yes. Does it bug the shit out of me? Yes.
How do I broach this subject and when? Should I resolve myself to sucking it up on the first date....but somehow communicating what I am hoping for later on? Should I resolve myself to this being a case of reverse male privilege and just suck it up? | How and when do I let dates know that I don't want to be the only one on the hook for all the costs of going out? |
t3_1dznvo | needadvice | I need help, advice.. anything? | A little background info:
My boyfriend and I are both 19, have been together for a few years. In the last year we have moved out of home and into the city for university.
Mid last year I met his uncle. Since the day I met him he was very sexually suggestive towards myself and I was told he was the same towards my SO's brother's girlfriend. He has even asked my SO if he would consider selling my nude pictures to him. Obviously the answer was no.
I had my nipples pierced, and my boyfriend wanted a picture.
So he took one on his phone, just a silly shoulders to naval photo.
We soon forgot about it.
Months and months go past since the snapping of the photo and we're invited to dinner with his grandparents, the uncle was invited also.
Long story short the uncle goes "can I ring [my wife] my phone died"
My SO gave him his phone, thought nothing of it.
In the morning back at home he gets a text from his uncle. Opens up the message, and the previous message is sent from his phone to his uncle the night before.. the picture of my breasts sent to the uncle by the uncle. Obviously without our consent.
We are completely outraged, I am very very unset and feel very violated.
I don't know what to do.
I spoke to him, expressing how wrong it was, how violated I felt and said he felt nothing was done wrong by me and wont apologise.
not keeping nudes on your phone is the lesson I've learnt, but what do I do about the uncle now? | SO's uncle sent himself a picture of my boobs to himself from from my SO's phone. I told him how violated I felt. He see's nothing wrong with it and wont even apologize.. Help? |
t3_3p2qf8 | tifu | TIFU by asking a girl on a date who was out of my league. | So a few weeks s girl I met this cute girl that I thought was absolutely gorgeous, 10/10, very sweet, nice, listened to my jokes and even laughed. I was pretty into her and gathered up my courage to ask her out.
So tonight we had a date to meet at a very nice, very cool cafe to go on our date. I was super excited and ready to have a nice night with first girl I've been really interested in in a few years. I showed up a few minutes early and called her to see where she was. The phone rang for a bit and went to voicemail, no big deal, probably on her way. I went ahead n grabbed a table for two since it was pretty busy, grabbed the flowers I bought and set them up on the table as a extra little surprise for her.
About 15 minutes later I call again but still no answer. So I'm getting worried , "hope she's okay" I think to myself. I decide to call again but this time it only rings twice before going to voicemail. I'm a little bit suspicious so I call again. This time she answers (yaaay progress) but she immediately hangs up.
Okay. Wtf. I call a few more times, get one ring then voicemail. At this point I've been sitting for close to 45 minutes. Its at this point I realize she isn't coming. I'm pretty upset.
So reddit, here I sit, dressed nice, holding flowers, alone at a table for two on a busy Friday night. Theres a waitress trying to be polite about me holding her section up for so long and I'm eating my food, trying not to cry and I'm staring at my phone for comfort, hoping that I dont have to see the judging, laughing, or pity faces staring back at me. | Got stood up on a date I put a lot of effort into by a beautiful girl I really liked and am now trying not cry. |
t3_17fkrb | relationships | [24M23F] I fucked up everything | Hi everyone.
I'm dating for some time now a 23 years old virgin girl. Something like 2 months.
Everything is great. In fact this is totally the best women I've been with.
And of course I'm sufficiently stupid to destroy everything.
Yesterday we had together a really nice time. I bring her back to her place at around 22pm, she had to work at her bar at midnight.
When I came back to my place I texted her that I had a great time. Same for her. And I DON'T KNOW FUCKING WHY I texted:
> I have something slightly embarrassing to ask you. It's just that I have a hard time to explain it so I prefer to be direct. Is there a chance we can sleep together soon? (that doesn't mean sex. More like a step).
Don't feel forced or anything. I would just really liked it. I can of course wait. You can reply "not yet" and it'll not change anything for me!
Few seconds after sending the worse message ever (what I was thinking?!), I texted again:
> God, forget what I said. I'm gonna wait for you to feel more confident on that!
She just replied:
> Just don't have anything to say about this at all, sorry.
I replied "Don't say anything, Forget about it like i said. That was stupid. Really."
And she replied "Yeah it was really bad."
1 hour later I came to her bar and apologized in person for my stupid behavior. I apologized when I came and when I left. Saying that she's really important for me and I hurt her feelings badly.
I thought she kinda forgave me but now I'm not so sure. I think she's still hurt about it.
So my question is, what can I do to fix this? I could really do anything. I'm just not sure about what is the good move. I'm clearly not used to 23 years old virgins, I'm pretty sure I destroyed something.
Thanks for your help. | Had been too fast with a 23 years old virgin, was pretty stupid and asked her if she want to sleep with me (without sex), how can I fix the situation? |
t3_4b1zev | tifu | TIFU: By tagging my face in a profile picture of some girl I don't even know | Well this happened 2 days ago... and Im getting some of the backlash for it right meow. Anyways I been hooking up with a girl for awhile and decided to show my friends some pictures of her on facebook. When I clicked her facebook some girl wrote OMG I can't wait till Friday when we hang out!.
This girl was a total gorgeous ant as far as I could tell so I decided to click her picture and check her profile.
Nice! Wasnt set to private so I was able to browse through her photos... my friends were into it too I mean this girl was really attractive...
So now let me take you back to 2010 she must be like 18 on the beach having a great time in this photo while I stupidly clicked her face and it said "who is this in this photo" then my name popped up. I panicked my friends panicked we had no idea what to do then my one friend said "hit done"..
That was it I hit done and it said "request to tag photo sent"
Didnt know what to do so I blocked her off facebook and hoped for the best.. about 10 minutes ago I got a text from the girl Im seeing calling me a creep and a few other choice words...
Moral of the story blocking people doesn't work and girls talk way to much. | Tagged my face on some girls profile pic from like 6 years ago look like a creeper, and totally am a creeper, but now I'm caught and its so embarrassing. |
t3_38sotx | relationships | I'm [27/M] feeling less affectionate/intimate around my gf [24/F] of 1yr and can't figure out why | These days kissing does nothing for me, and feels like a chore. Hugs always seem unreasonably long and I find myself making conversation or needing to cough in the middle of them as an excuse to stop. When we go to bed I feel obliged to have sex and relieved afterwards because the obligation is gone.
But when we *do* have sex (2-3 times per week, she doesn't stay over every night), once I get turned on I'm totally into it and we both have a great time. It's like primal nature takes over. And strangely, I do feel affectionate/intimate once that happens.
I can't really point to anything in our relationship that may be causing this. She's quite extroverted and I'm introverted, but we get along quite well. I'd like to be as affectionate with her as she attempts to be with me but I don't want to feel like I'm faking it.
Is there a common cause for symptoms like this? Other posts on this subreddit seem to be about the *partner* acting this way, rather than the OP. Thanks in advance. | Feeling less affectionate/intimate around my gf, not really into sex until we're in the middle of it |
t3_2mo7ng | relationships | 28/m just got broken up by 30/f. 4.5 year relationship. worst timing ever. | I had been with my gf for 4 1/2 years. We met in another state and lived a couple hours from each other. We fell madly in love and after 6 months or so decided to move to another state together and live in the city. We got our first apartment together and things were great. However, over time that initial "spark" faded, as longer relationships tend to do.
We would communicate this and things would get better for a while but then get back to how they were before. I'd find myself playing video games and watching sports most of the time and she would generally be watching reality shows. Our sleep schedules were also all over the place. She liked to go to bed early (8-9 pm) and get up early (5 am) while I am more of a night owl. The sex life faded to the point that we would go weeks if not months without doing it. I learned to accept this as she said she didn't have much of a sex drive any more. However, we like to go out quite often and have a great group of friends that we would oftentimes meet up with and they would oftentimes come over for cookouts, double dates, etc.
Last year we moved into a new, nicer apartment. Sort of a "fresh start" for us. We absolutely love the apartment and the location, and we had our little happy family with us and our dog. However, again, things faded to the point where we rarely talked and oftentimes felt more like roommates than a couple.
She finally had enough of it and called things off yesterday. It has been a long time coming but I am absolutely crushed. I know that we had some issues but it still hurts and terrifies me to think that I have to start my life all over again. The apartment is very close to her work so I'll probably be the one moving out. Of course we just renewed our year lease and have everything ready for the holidays. I'm not ready to move and nor do I really want to as I like the apartment so much but I assume it will be very hard to live in the same apartment with her like this. | Just venting. Long relationship went stale and ended at the worst time possible. Trying to figure out what to do now. |
t3_4wzgyc | relationships | I'm [19M] and have a close friend [19F] who has helped me out a lot. I want to give her a present but do not want her to take things the wrong way, any advice? | Throwaway account. I was struggling with a really hard time in my life and this girl came out of the blue basically and helped me out more than anyone else really has. I've heard people say "I've got your back" before but no one has really had my back as much as this girl has. Despite all that, we're friends. Just friends. And that's all I'd like to be. It's her birthday tomorrow and I went out of my way to get her a decent watch, it was around $350 which is no financial strain on me. However, she's a lot less financially fortunate and she will probably see this as a huge investment, which in my opinion, it isn't. Because of that, she might take it as a symbol of romanticism instead of friendship. I just want to show her appreciation for doing more for me than any of my friends ever have. I do not however, want to her to take this in a Romantic way that could harm our friendship which I value very highly. I've heard her talking about watches before so I decided to buy her one, I think she'll be thrilled to have it, I just don't want things to be taken out of context or in a way they shouldn't be.
Any advice on how to avoid this? I thought about writing a note saying something along the lines of "Thanks for being such a great friend" to dispel confusion but I'm still not sure how to go about this and it's causing me a lot more worry than it should. Any advice? P.S - I'm giving her the receipt because the watch isn't fitted to her wrist so she'll have to go in and have links removed. | Bought a friend a small present, and I don't want her to take it romantically when it's just a token of my appreciation. How do I avoid her taking it romantically? |
t3_1cr5y4 | relationships | long-distance. | So, /r/ relationships, it would appear i require your assistance. Where to begin? well maybe I should introduce myself- I'm a 16 year old male, from London, England, who has, within the past few weeks become involved with an 18 year old female, in Florida.
Here's the issue. We've been speaking a matter of weeks, and she has already become incredibly attached, telling me of how alone, and incomplete she feels whenever we're not skyping, and threatening tears, should i even so much as refer to leaving, or heading off to sleep-timezones are a bitch.
Also, she has begun telling me she loves me, and i , i appreciate incredibly foolishly, have returned the favour.
She's an absolutely wonderful girl, and honestly does deserve a guy that can afford her the time, and affirmations of intimacy she requires, but this is just proving all too stressful for me, and i just can't bring myself to confront her about it.
So, i turn to you reddit, in my hour of need, what do i do?! | Clingy long distance love interest causing huge amounts of stress, and i can't bring myself to end it, although recognise that this is probably the right thing to do. |
t3_4ugnhq | relationships | My boyfriend [16M] has been ignoring and won't stand up for me [16F]? | I started dating my boyfriend over two and a half years ago. I absolutely love him and I know he loves and cares for me too. However, recently another girl within our (mine and my boyfriends) friend group, which is predominantly male, has been telling others bad things about me -- how she hates me, I'm annoying, etc. Now, I can't help but feel that all of my friends have turned against me and have also started saying rude things behind my back.
I have bipolar disorder and experience depression caused or enhanced by things like this in my life. Between the "bullying" (I'm not sure if this is really severe enough to be classified as bullying) and my disorder I find myself becoming extraordinarily sad and not wanting to go to school as I now feel isolated and spend lunch sitting alone in the library "studying." On occasion my boyfriend will sit with me but I feel awful taking him away from his friends.
I have expressed these insecurities to my boyfriend, especially about the girl who started it all, but he refuses to say anything to the girl or other friends and continues to be close with them. I'm afraid that eventually he will start to hate me too.
I don't want to tell him to give up his friends because that's obviously not what good girlfriends do, however, it is still extremely upsetting to see him so close the others while I am now excluded. It's especially painful because the girl flirts with him a lot when she knows I'm watching – and he seems to enjoy it.
I also don't want to burden him with my depressing feelings or thoughts because I know that it's a lot to handle but every time I say anything about the situation he gets really closed off and won't talk to me for a couple of days until I beg for him to talk to me again. Even if I ask him to talk to me or message me over the internet he always says he's busy or ignores me. Should I forget about what's happening and am I overreacting? I just really don't know what to do. | A girl at school has pushed me out of our (mine and my boyfriends) mutual friend group and although I now spend the whole day alone, my boyfriend doesn't seem to think anything is wrong. Am I overreacting? |
t3_54eg5h | relationships | I [22 F] am unsure if I should ask a friend [18 M] out on a date | About half a year ago I met a friend through a DnD campaign. He's super funny and really chill most of the time, and I really want to get to know him a bit better.
My problems arise from me being either too paranoid to ask him, or the age gap we have (which I might also be paranoid about but idk). I'm not worried he'll reject me, but that it'll screw up our friendship if he turns me down. I'm also kinda worried that he'll be irked by the age gap. I've had some of my friends say a 4 year age difference isn't a problem as long as everyone's 18+, but I'm still not so sure it'd be appropriate or if he'd be comfortable with it.
I'm also not entirely sure how this is going to work, if we do end up dating. I don't want to make the same mistakes I did earlier in life where I just jumped into a serious relationship right off the bat. I want to play it safe. But the problem is, we're 6 hours away from each other. Will it be okay if I do go on a date with him, but try to go out every month or so? Are there alternatives?
I know I sound like an idiot writing half of this stuff, so I'm really sorry in advance. I've never really dated people before and I've certainly never made the first move so I'm kinda terrified and paranoid about every little thing I do. I think I just need advice; should I go for it or look for someone closer/older? If I go for it and we want to keep dating after the first time, how should I handle the 6 hour drive, or just dating in general? Or even asking him in the first place? | I'm clueless about dating, I'm 6 hours away from a guy I'd like to ask out on a date and worried about the age gap and possibly making things awkward if I'm turned down. Any advice would be appreciated. |
t3_1m2exe | tifu | TIFU: by hitting a deer | Finally made an account after being forced to share my story.
So today I was driving down a road with some friends and we were about to go fishing down at the nearby resivoir. On the way I wasn't paying much attention and was actually telling my friend about the TIFU post about some girl farting in a "little persons face."
This one:
But as I was explaining the LP was behind her the whole time I lost my shit and started laughing my ass off. At this moment a deer happened to be taking its sweet little time crossing the road and guess what happened... That deer got dropped like /u/potatofetish14 by that bull
Example:
So I freaked out and stopped on the side of the road. To see if the deer was ok. It looked to be dead and wasnt moving so we tried moving it across the road but that fucking machine of a deer wasnt done yet and as we were dragging it by its antlers, this thing got up and started to ram us with its antlers. we got our ass kicked so tried to run but Bambi ain't no bitch and that fucker came right after me. Luckily it gave up shortly after chasing me for a second and ran into the woods. | hit a deer, thought it was dead so I dragged it to the side of the road but it this was some fucking frankendeer. Kicked our little bitch asses and ran into the forest...And he broke my headlight. |
t3_37x54q | tifu | TIFU by giving out the wrong number for a year | As usual, this happened over a period of about a year.
I got a new phone about a year ago. AT&T was making it more difficult to transfer my original phone number to the new phone. I thought okay fine, I will just get a new one. I get a new number. I start using it.
Little did I know my number *was* transferred. Or that's what I thought, and I had *two* phone numbers for one device.
I decide to use my newest phone number for applications, appointments, etc.
Fast-forward to now, and I have just discovered that my newest number is not my newest number. I have been using someone elses number. I'm not sure how this happened, but I guess what I thought was my old number *is* my new number.
I did think it was unusual that I had to use my "old" number for logging in to my AT&T account.
I have missed several appointments and possibly even more job interviews because of this fuck up.
Go me! | used "new" number which turned out to be someones elses number somehow, instead of "old" number which turned out to be my new number. missed interviews, appointments, etc. |
t3_2y4l9m | relationships | Me [26M] with my GF[24 M/F] I want to buy a motorcycle eventually, she's really opposed to it. | Hey guys and girls,
English is not my first language, and I am not great in expressing myself so the following might seem a bit incoherent.
I've always been very interested in owning/riding a motorcycle.
My gf is very opposed to it, because when she was young, her aunt died in an motorcycle accident.
Bit of background: we are together a little over 2 years, I was finishing college, she was already working. A few months in she decided to go back to college, and I graduated and got my first job.
I always thought that when I graduated and got a job, I would start saving money to buy the motorcycle.
My gf was living in an appartment with a roommate back then, but things got sour between them and she had to move out.
She suggested that we'd move in together, because it would be do-able with my wages, and the subsidies she gets for going back to college.
I was madly in love and accepted. And the living together part is going well (which I realise now is more of a lucky shot than a well thought out decision). But of course finances are rather tight now, especially with her subsidies shrinking. I am not able to support 2 people in this flat AND save money. We get by without debt, but that's all.
I still haven't given up the dream about the motorcycle, and when she graduates or has a job (or if I simply didn't have to support 2 people and a flat) I could easily save up for one. But because our finances are joint now, I doubt if I could convince her that we could save for a motorcycle for me when she has a job.
Her parents actually do ride them, and her mother already told her that she regrets not starting doing it earlier because of her sister (my gf's aunt who died), and she thinks I should be able to get one if I want to. Unexpected MIL/FIL support :-) | I want a bike, GF is oppossed to it. This dream is not dying at all. How to proceed? |
t3_1cvfqp | AskReddit | How to not look gay? | First of all, i don't have any kind of problems with gay people.
I'm a 20yo male. In general i'm a funny person, last week me and some friends were talking during lunch and when the subject "Gay marriage, etc." came, some of them pointed out that if they didn't knew me well enough, they would probably tell that i was guy, because of the way i act, and sometimes, dress.
I'm straight, and I don't want girls to say "Oh, i thought that you were gay" while I'm hitting on them (never happened to me, saw this on movies) | Some friends told me I look gay and I don't want to be that way, need ideas to look manlier. |
t3_2oxrqj | tifu | TIFU by squishing my balls on my brother's car and being a complete retard | Okay so today I was driving on my way back from school, and it was a pretty normal day, until I completely f*cked up. Now, my parents keep a pool table off to the side of my garage, so it's always tricky parking inside there because both my bro and I park our cars in there, and it gets pretty tight.
Well, I hadn't slept well the night before, so I come home and park like a retard too close to my bro's car. Again, I was seriously sleep deprived at this point and wasn't thinking straight so I try to take my key out of the ignition to stop the engine and notice that it isn't coming out. Well, being an idiot, I assume it's because something must be jammed and step out of the car. I'd parked too close to my bro's car so it's an incredibly tight squeeze and at this point i'm pressed against the side of my car and my bro's. Soon as I step out, it hits me that I forgot to put my car in park and pull the goddamn E-brake and that's why my key wasn't coming out. Just then, I notice my car begin slowly sliding forward, promptly squishing my balls against the side of my bro's car because I parked a little bit slanted. At the expense of serious pain to my balls, I manage to squeeze and shift so i can climb back into my car and properly put it in park and take out the keys. Literally seconds later, my bro comes into the garage after hearing my car's engine being on for so long and asks what's up. I tell him some BS about me looking for a quarter under the seats and he goes back into the house.
The fact that my bro would have found me with my car in drive with my balls hard-pressed against his car(thank goodness the garage has a slight upward ramp otherwise the car would have rolled faster) if he walked in moments earlier is enough to make me want to go to sleep and think this was all some bad dream. | I parked like a complete idiot, thought something was wrong with my car, climbed out, realized i forgot to pull the E-brake and switch the gear to park, and nearly burst my balls trying to get back in. |
t3_293mt1 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex-gf [22 F] from around a year ago. How do I be friendly with her? | We broke up about a year ago when she decided she wanted something different. I was sad about it but we were different people and I couldn't say I didn't see it coming. Normally I spend summers away from school but I have to spend this summer on campus and we have some mutual friends so we see each other now and again. I feel somewhat uncomfortable when I'm around her but since there is not much to do I don't want to spend my nights alone because of it. How can I make things feel less awkward? I'm not trying to be friends with her I'm just trying to be friendly and not have this awkwardness between us. | Broke up with my ex a year ago. Just started seeing her when out with my friends and want to know how to make things less awkward? |
t3_1dq4pz | relationships | Did I [25F] cheat on my husband[26M] with my friend from childhood [29M]? | Husband and I have been married two years and dates for five before. Friend and I have been friends for 12+ years.
I was visiting my hometown and saw friend. Friend lives 2000KM away, so I only see him four times a year. We wrestled a bit on the floor, tickle fights. As friend was leaving I kissed his cheek and he returned it for much longer than necessary. We hugged as normal and he left.
If this happened at 20 or 22 or 13 or 16, it would be no big deal. We have always been physical like this excluding the kissing which only begun at 18. The issue is that now we're older thus I wonder if this is infidelity.
It should be noticed this is the only guy I let touch me or that I willingly touch outside my marriage. I do not shake hands in mixed gender situstions either, though sometimes a coworker would touch me by mistake or something to get my attention.
My husband and I's religion forbids touching outside the marriage which is part of why I'm confused. Personally my husband doesn't care but as this is against Islam and also against my normal day to day actions... I wonder if I'm cheating. | I kiss and wrestle a childhood friend. Our religion forbids it and I never touch men outside my marriage and my friend. Am I cheating? |
t3_4vzqyb | relationships | My [32 F] brother [24 M] is a really good guy, but everything he does drives me bonkers. | So both my brother and myself had aspirations to move from the East Coast to Los Angeles. I am VERY lucky to have a sibling that I trust and is a good person and it makes the most sense financially that we live together for now at least to adjust to the cost of living.
Living in LA isn't as expensive as one might think EXCEPT FOR rent and real estate. Good lord, everything you hear about rent is true. This means we share a one bedroom and have a roommate in another room. Those are the breaks.
I don't want kids, ever. But I feel like I am literally taking care of a toddler. I constantly have to run behind him picking up his messes, doing his laundry and putting it away (if I don't put it away he will not and it will stay in the spot I leave it and eventually will end up back in the dirty pile).
He talks (and his natural voice is very baritone and loud) literally from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, constantly on non sequiturs and sidebars. He will keep my Roomate and I up so late because he gets off work on the late side (10pm) and usually doesn't turn off lights until 1am or so (this is with me in the same room trying to sleep) on the phone with his gf and 50% of the time they argue.
Any suggestion of house rules results in an argument. He washes dishes but otherwise I have never seen him clean a thing and if I just leave it for him to clean it just won't get cleaned at all. He's been non-aggressively oppositional his whole life so he gets resentful and moody if I try to tell him what to do.
I've called my mom and complained to her about this lol and I don't know how to handle it. I know things will improve once we have a 2 bedroom proper apartment that is "our own" but as of right now I am on anxiety meds all day because otherwise I want to literally punch him in the face most of the time. And I feel bad because I know other people have much worse sibling situations. | grown woman temporarily living with mid 20s brother who is basically a good guy but lifestyle differences are causing major anxiety and resentment in myself. |
t3_2gvaob | relationships | I [23f] can't stop thinking of my partner [24m] dying all the time. | Both my own mother and MIL have told me this is pretty natural and it will pass with time. The thoughts have died down only a little bit, I no longer think about him getting hit by a car on the way to work every morning, or getting really hurt by the big machinery at work everyday. But every few days or so, mostly when I'm lying in bed alone, the random, unwanted thought of what would happen if he did die hits me. Sometimes I can push them off, especially if I'm with him, or distracted, out in public. If it happens when I'm alone, I don't have the same ability.
We've been together over a year now and in fact, tomorrow will be the first anniversary of my moving in with him.(Just realized that now, wow.) It doesn't help he has health issues as is, he was a very sick baby and had multiple issues. He still has heart problems and even liver problems, cancer runs rampant in his family. I can't help being worried it means he's going to have a short life. On top of this, this is actually my first proper relationship, let alone one so serious that we discuss marriage venues and whether or not we're having kids. We live together. I don't think I'd ever be able to fully cope if he died and left me all alone. It breaks my heart when we're walking together and the random thought of a car coming too fast around a corner and taking him out, or some other stupid shit like that.
I know it's unfounded, and certainly something I shouldn't stress on, but I'm reminded everyday that unfortunate things happen to people who weren't expecting it. Young lives and love ruined by tragedy. I don't want to be apart of that.
I can't stop anything like that happening, it's not within my power, so I shouldn't bother stressing. But I bloody well can't. I want to stop but don't know how. | can't stop thinking of hypothetical situations in where my partner is dead. What I'd do, how ruined I'd be and so on and so forth. Would like to be able to stop. |
t3_197n9l | dating_advice | I (19M) am trying to talk to a friend from high school (19F) to start a relationship. How do I do this? | We're both freshmen in college, and we go to different schools in the area. We both commute. We live on the same street, and we always got along well on the bus going to and from school. I went to her graduation party over the summer and that's one of the last times we spoke (the rest was just a few times on Facebook and once at the mall where she works). I just got out of a "thing" I had with another girl that ended on a note that kind of left me feeling like finding a connection with someone is all I need to satisfy myself. So, I'd like to develop a similar connection with this girl, and whatever comes of it, comes of it, but my issue is starting to talk to her again. I don't have her #, so if I talk to her it would be via Facebook. The reason I like her is because she was always someone that I liked not just for looks (which is rare, considering I don't like too many people's personalities). She is cute, though.
How would you suggest going about this? | I want to start some relationship with a girl from high school that I knew and lives close to me, but I don't know how to go about this. It seems that I usually hit roadblocks here, from past experience. |
t3_1mrr2c | relationships | Me [22M] with my friend [21F], developing into something more. | So basically at a friend's farewell about three weeks ago a friend of mine asked my best friend if I was single. Now this is only a problem because she has had a boyfriend for about three years. Over the next few weeks we get much closer and more comfortable with each other but I am just flattered really and can't see myself with her. Now everything is just nuts, we're exchanging these glances here and there, we've been going to talks, walks and she goes out of her way to spend time with me. She even told my best friend (when he asked her why she asked if I was single that night) that she was confused and she had liked me for a while. I am feeling overwhelmed with emotion, I didn't feel it quite before but now I can't really stop thinking about her, when she leaves I start to miss her.
A few days ago we were having a good chat on the train where she eventually asked me personally if I was dating anyone, and when I said no, she asked if I wanted to. Several times after the topic of her boyfriend has come up or when she has complained she is suddenly very introspective. I should mention at this point that the first year and a half of their relationship he cheated on her a couple of times. Yes it's messed up and she is torn up about it but basically she just can't bring herself to trust him.
What is the best plan of action? I feel like it wouldn't be right to try and put a move on her when she has a boyfriend, I fear that she might feel like she is doing the same thing he did to her and associate me with those guilty feelings. | Friend who has a long term boyfriend is apparently interested in me, I wasn't at first but am now overwhelmed by how I feel towards her, what do I do? Give me some advice! |
t3_3pgenh | relationships | My boyfriend doesn't seem to give a shit about me anymore... | So my boyfriend [16 M] and I [16 F] have been going out for over a year and lately for the past 3 months or so he's been very emotionless/apatheic about our relationship and most of all me. I understand that not everyday has to be lovey dovey, but after 3 months of no signs of affection I began to question myself. Before we used to be very physical, but suddenly things just dropped. I told him how I felt about this and he said he realized himself he stopped being touchy, but he still loved me. He never said he loved me again since then nor made any gestures to show that he still likes me. And worst of all, he doesn't even greet me when he sees me or say bye.
Also we stopped texting each other because of his "busy schedule" but I found out that he messages this one girl quite often and definitely way more than he messages me because he never messages me anymore. I told him how I felt about the girl and he always tell me there's nothing I need to worry about. Its not that I don't trust him, but it frustrates me why he can't message me when he has the time to message someone else. | My boyfriend seems to be very apatheic about our relationship and stopped showing gestures of affection to me. What do I do? |
t3_ofq33 | relationships | I need advice about a guy who doesn't want to date me but we still have been unofficially dating for the past 4 months. | me(22) and him (22). So he had just come out of his second relationship of almost a year and felt it would be disrespectful to the ex and too fast to just get into another relationship, also he said he wasnt ready for a relationship and wished he had met a couple of months later.
However, we have such good chemistry that we still hang together like a couple, we act like a couple: we go out, hold hands, kiss all the time, cuddle and hold each other all the time, have sex and do normal things that we enjoy together while being exclusive to each other.
So thats the thing, we act like a couple (minus the I love you and any commitmenty stuff) but at the same time even though i enjoy that its not going too fast (having come out of a 4 year relationship half a year ago) I just freak out sometimes. I get really paranoid, the last couple of days he hasnt wanted to hang out so much and things have been awkward and a bit cold. =/ He has suddenly gotten into his WoW gamin phase and its all he does now. I'm not sure what to do, he mentions sometimes that it would be nice with a break before we go out, just to clear his head, but he never initiates it.
Is it stupid for me to wait for him to be ready to date? What should I do to make him want me? He says he just needs a break from dating but he enjoys being with me and can see us in a serious relationship. He promised me that we would date when he's ready and he otherwise is really good to me and sweet and takes care of me. He gives me a lot of time and I can understand that he needs space if thats what it means but I really don't know what to think of it or what to do? Maybe I should just be happy that even if we aren't official, he treats me pretty well in general. Any advice? | Guy likes me but isn't ready to commit even though we've been unofficially dating for 4 months. What should I do? |
t3_yy8n9 | AskReddit | Reddit I have a serious question? (details inside) | Sorry for the story but here it goes.....
So im married and i have two sister-in-law's and i find them both sexually attracting after seven years of being with my s/o... This past weekend one of my in-laws showed up and stayed for the whole weekend and for some reason i couldnt stop thinking about wanting to have sex with her. And my other sister-in-law used to live with us and there were a couple of times when i have seen her naked before on accident (cause i would be getting home late from work) and thats where the attraction began with her. So my question is... is it wrong to have a sexual attraction with the sisters of your S/O or is it normal after a long period of time??? | have an attraction to my S/O's sisters and i feel wrong for having them so.. is it wrong to have this attraction or is it normal??? |
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