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t3_10vhyb | AskReddit | We are told that talking to our kids about things like smoking is the best way to prevent it, but my parents talked to me about it and I started smoking anyways. How can you ensure that you have a positive influence on your kids in these matters? | When I was 14 I started smoking even though my parents had told me how bad it was for you. I am 22 now, so I have been smoking for 8 years and regret it. I have been with my girlfriend for a year now and have started thinking about things like families and children.
I don't actually have kids, but now I feel like when I do I won't be able to have a positive influence on important things like not smoking cigarettes.
We always hear from | My parents talked to me about smoking and I chose to smoke anyways, wondering how to better help my children make the right choice not to smoke despite me telling them it's bad for them. |
t3_32z7zh | relationships | My (F35) partner (M54) forgets I exist when life gets hard for him, but I need him right now. | We have been dating for a year, and he is wonderful. However, I have noticed that when his life goes even slightly off-balance he disappears for days. I will text him that I am thinking of him, and he'll respond that it's nice to hear from me and then there will be a few more days of silence.
This isn't so bad normally. I know life gets hard. Especially right now he is experiencing pretty awful anxiety over his position at our university being tenured.
Except right now, my life is taking a turn also. And I'll be moving in with him next week. All I want (NEED) is to hold him and be held while I cry. I want to tell him this without sounding needy. How? | My partner isolates himself when facing depression, which is normally fine, but I am facing some terrible depression too and want to hold him/be held. How can I express my needs without forgoing his or coming across as needy? |
t3_3gm8rj | relationships | [M 17] I need help with my ex, who I care about a lot [F 15] | Hey guys. I've been a lurker on reddit and I've seen some good advice on this subreddit so I thought I'd give it a try.
Anyways. At the beginning of this year (HS) I met this girl and we got along really well. We both sort of thought we had put each other in the friend zone, since we became so close so suddenly. We ended up bringing that fact up during a random conversation and we both confessed we had feelings for each other. The most amazing relationship I've ever had bloomed out of this, lasting for about half a year.
Now the problem with this was that neither of our parents really approved of the other person. We decided to ignore that and continued talking, without them knowing.
As all relationships do, it began to become more physical, and basically, her mom stumbled across our NSFW texts and freaked out, threatening to tell my mom if I continued to talk to her. Now to most people, this wouldn't be too big of a threat, but my mom had been telling me for months to not date at the time and she threatened some things. (Before everyone starts hating on my mom, in hindsight, she was probably right about the timing thing) Long story short, we decided to break up and just be friends, as we felt that might be less risky.
It's important to note that I've never cared this much about a girl before and I would do anything for her.
Now her comes the fuck up. A month ago (2-3 months after the relationship had ended), I started to notice this other girl and my friends started egging me on to talk to her. Now, through the grapevine, the girl that I care about found out and now, she refuses to talk to me, telling me to "leave [her] alone". She's super fragile and has been depressed before and I really want to help her somehow, but I just don't know what else to do. I've told her how I feel about her and how much she means to me, but she's still ignoring me...
Reddit, any help you have would be greatly appreciated. | A fantastic 6 month relationship ended 3 months ago, due to extenuating circumstances. I began noticing another girl; girl that I had relationship won't talk to me anymore and I still care about her a lot. |
t3_z81yp | AskReddit | Once when I was really lonely, I hung out and flirted with some gay guys and pretended to be gay, just for fun. What's something you've done that you just can't explain to your friends and family, no matter how harmless? | It all started after I got dumped by my 2nd girlfriend in a year. I was out by myself one night drinking, feeling depressed, hoping to get laid and failing. Walking back home I passed a group of gay guys who started hitting on me. I guess I was just feeling so down and needed some validation, so I decided to go with it. When I was younger, I used to make my friends laugh by putting on a character whenever we went out (like pretending to be German or wearing sunglasses and pretending to be a blind guy), so I just kind of put on this gay character. I told them all that I was still in the closet but would hang out with them for the night. It turned out to be one of the best nights in a while. These guys were buying me drinks and laughing at my jokes and we had an awesome time. I went home feeling really great and had a lot of fun for the first time in weeks.
The problem was, I lived in a relatively small college town in the Carolinas and occasionally ran into one of the guys when I was out with friends. One time I tried to explain the situation to one of them, telling him I wasn't actually gay and I was really sorry and he just laughed, like, "I've heard that one before..." I must have drunkenly exchanged numbers with one of the guys, because I kept getting texts from this one guys name Alejandro for months. I would respond back politely, but I didn't know how to explain myself so I just kind of started ignoring him.
Later, I told my straight friend while we were out drinking, and he just stared at me and said, "Dude..." and shook his head, then walked away. I haven't told anyone since. I'm not ashamed and I don't think I did anything that wrong. I'm 100% confident in my sexuality and have a great girlfriend. I just don't think it's something I could tell anyone I know and have them understand. | I got dumped, wanted some validation, so I hung out with some gay guys and flirted with them all night. It was fun, but I don't think anyone I know would understand if I told them. |
t3_38yrkc | relationships | Me [24/m] wondering if a woman[22/F] is flirting with me or just in need of attention | I met her (let's call her Susan) only 1 week after she broke up with her boyfriend. Susan has always been extremely nice with me, calling me bear, saying i'm sweet, asking for hugs, etc.
We went out last Thursday with 3 more friends and throughout the night she kept caressing my arm, resting her hand on top of mine, touching my face, staring at me etc. Obviously i was extremely tense and uncomfortable, since i'm not used to that. However we rarely have any private conversation, although we do chat inside the group.
She does not act like that with anyone else in our group of friends, but the other guys are all pretty decent looking so i guess she doesn't want to pass the wrong message to people that could believe she was looking for something else.
Now, about me. I'm a tall fat and ugly guy, not used to any kind of attention from woman. I'm used to being seen as the confidant, since I never try to get close to a woman in any other way but a friendly one, it's just useless.
So I question if she is in anyway flirting with me (which sounds unlikely) or just maybe in need of an extra bit of attention because of the break up and i'm the safest bet since I would never try anything? | Girl coming out of a break up is being a bit too friendly with me, and i have no idea what it means since i'm not used to it. Is it flirting or a cry for attention? |
t3_1oy00u | relationships | I (18F) got a guy's number (21M) but when I asked to hang out he said no (for good reason, more explanation inside) | Couldn't think of a better way to word this in the title. We have a class together at Uni and after talking a lot in class, I asked if he wanted to hang out outside of class sometime. He said yes and we swapped phone numbers. (This happened today)
We had a bit of casual texting but then later on, when I asked if he wanted to get coffee tonight, he said he had to work on a paper and couldn't. I know it isn't an excuse though, because he was talking about this paper before and he did genuinely seem like he wanted to hang out.
This is a stupidly simple question, but I can't find the right way to word it, which is why I am here:
What is a good way for me to leave the idea of hanging out open-ended on his part? I want a way to say "Just let me know when you have free time/want to hang out" but with better wording. | I asked a guy out to coffee and he said he couldn't because he has homework. How can I leave the idea of hanging out open ended on his part? (Possibly so he will suggest something) |
t3_31jull | relationships | [21M] dating a [19F] for 2 months. She started to act weird and distant recently, said she's confused. HELP | Hello everyone. I've been dating this girl for about two months and I liked her very much (still do). From what I understood she liked me very much too (even maybe more). From the very beginning she was super friendly, almost always texted me first, and so on. She even initiated our first kiss herself.
Now here's the problem. About a week and a half ago she started to act weirdly. When asked why, she said she's exhausted because of the things in her university and lessons at the choir she's singing in. And yeah, she's been really busy, a lot of concerts and blahblah. She also said, that she's sad or something, springtime sadness she called it.
6 days ago I asked her (through text, because she has a free week and is at family's home in different city) to tell me if she still liked me or is she tired of me, because I'm not a fan of her being like that. She said, that she's confused, kind of isolated from people or from communication and doesn't know why is she like that.
I was told by her to relax because she's thinking about things and doesn't want to do a mistake and that everything will be clear after that free week of hers. Then I told her "I kind of sense where this is going. Tell me when you're finished thinking. See you don't know when". She said "OK, see you soon". It's been about 6 days without any contact and that free week is ending tomorrow.
Sorry for the long text and for my bad english, but I'm feeling really sad and confused, trying hard not to text her. What should I do? Have anyone ever dealt with something similar? PLEASE HELP. | Girl which I really clicked with became distant, strange and said she's confused and doesn't want to do a mistake. No contact for six days. Help please? |
t3_1ht4h5 | relationships | Prolonged eye contact with a girl I know and talk to. [20M/16F] | Hey guys of reddit,
I was here redirected from r/askWomen.
I am a 20 year-old shy guy, who has not yet had the real relationship lasting over a year or so. Al my previous lasted from 2-6 months and I have real trouble understanding women and their body language.
Now there is this cute 16 year-old girl, who just recently turned out really beautiful and I am interested in her. We have been going to a chorus together for about 8 years now and are, I would say, quite a good friends.
Last week we had a summer camp, where I noticed, she would try to seek my eye contact. During a normal group conversation, she would always look at me longer than anyone else, laugh at my stupid jokes. But then on the day we were meant to leave and again on a train on the way back she kept really long eye contact with me during a conversation, which lasted more than 5 seconds. She wouldn't blink. Just kept talking, was smiling a little and I returned her eye contact. I personally sometimes use vulgar words - nothing too offensive though - to add a little spicyness to a conversation and I noticed her using rude language more often, when I am around, like she was trying to copy me.
Could it mean she is interested in me, or does it mean something else? Thank you for any reply. | Is a girl, who copies my speech style (using same words as me only when I am around and none other time) and keeps long eye contact with me (5+ seconds) attracted to me? |
t3_la52p | personalfinance | Frustrated with BoA and switching to USAA. Need help getting USAA and confused about the CCs. Help! | To give you some background, I decided to change everything over to USAA because I know my Grandpa was in the armed services and I wanted to see how I could access the full coverage plans they offer for relatives in the armed services.
When I was opening my account and giving their information, I realized that BoA had been taking a $5 maintenance fee from my savings account per month since last September. It was wasn't noticed as the account was a safety fund that I rarely touched.
I also realized that I haven't had any income over the last year because I went back to school and I am applying to Veterinarian School for next year meaning I won't have any real income anytime soon.
After learning that my Grandpa had to purchase USAA and then my parents after that, I am a little dismayed as I am unsure if I can convince my grandparents to buy USAA as they don't like to change anything. Are there any cheap and simple plans that they could purchase (and I would pay them back for) that would enroll them but not hurt my wallet?
Also, if I close my BoA account, would my credit cards also be closed? Can I close my checking and savings accounts while keeping my credit cards open but unused? I currently have a 0 balance on both cards but I use them fairly often in place of my debit card for safety reasons. | What is the simplest and temporary way to get my Grandpa and parents enrolled in USAA so that I can access it and what will happen to my credit cards if I close my BoA account? |
t3_3i6v6o | relationships | I'm [20M] taking a girl [20F] out this evening after coming out of a long term relationship. I have a problem, what should I do? | I recently broke up with my girlfriend of three years. She was my first love and changed my life forever! It's been really tough but the hardest part is that she rebounded after only a week. She met some guy on Tinder and even took the time to tell me she fucked him on the first date.
I met a girl at the weekend and got her number, I'm meeting her tonight. We're just going for a walk around town. There's a festival on in my city and the streets are quite lively, we'll probably go see a free comedy show or something too.
But here's my problem: I'm so broke I can't even afford a tank of helium to asphyxiate myself with! What if she wants to drink? What if she wants to eat? What will I say? I really don't want to blow this one! | I'm taking a girl out but I'm broke as shit, what should I do/say if she wants to do something which involves money? |
t3_cm4b4 | AskReddit | this weekend, it is ten years ago | ten years ago nine young men died during a Pearl Jam concert at the Roskilde Festival. I (together with ~50000 other people) were at the concert. Everything felt like a normal concert. The audience was not behaving differently from any other typical rock concert. Pearl Jam wasn't even very big at the time (compared to when they played at Roskilde in '92). But then suddenly someone was knocked over. Other people fell over him. And a bunch of people was down on the ground. This happens all the time at big rock concerts. What was different that day is hard to say. But they didn't get up again quickly as they usually do. More people fell on top of them. I have no idea how many was down but it felt like hundreds of people. And it felt like a long time. Eventually, the music stopped. Eddie Vedder was crying on stage. Telling the audience to move back and make space. Lots of people were hurt but everyone around/on top of me stood up. Nine men close by did not. I could have been one of them but I was lucky. The autopsy showed that they were hardly bruised, they simply died suffocating from the sheer pressure from people on top of them.
So this scared the shit out of me - but even though I still think about it from time to time, I must admit I dont seem to have learned anything from the experience. | I could have been killed at a concert 10 years ago. A terrifying experience from which I seem to have learned nothing. |
t3_4ird94 | relationships | Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] 2 years, she had an accident and is now quiet around me. | So, yea let me explain.
Side note:
I'm not grossed out or anything it's natural and sometimes accidents happen.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Me and my girlfriend have a good relationship and surprisingly can talk to each other like a normal couple. My parents are not home right now they left for a trip and trust me to take care of the house.
I invited my girlfriend over and we were watching TV and she was sitting on my lap. We fell asleep for an hour and I woke up before her and when I looked at my leg there was a little wet spot (she's on her period).
I woke her up and she immediately started apologizing and started to cry and was going to leave. I felt bad and I didn't want her to be embarrassed to I told her she has nothing to apologize for and it was an accident.
I gave her a pair of my shorts and a shirt and we eventually cuddled and fell asleep. She's been quiet around me now and has been talking as much and I'm not sure what to do.
What can I do to reasure her that it's okay. | my girlfriend had an accident on me and is quiet around me now. What can I do to reasure her everything is okay. |
t3_1f2vdm | relationships | After a miscarriage my Wife[30f] admitted to me[28m] she has no sex drive anymore. | I'm 28m and my wife has always been very sexual and had a pretty strong sex drive. We were the kinds of couple that could turn each other on very quickly.
However, last month she fell pregnant unexpectedly. It was a shock but soon after she started bleeding and miscarried. She was upset by it all and the last month has been tough but on Friday we both agreed to have a night in. Except that night she seemed pretty cold and distant, the things that would turn her on had no effect. She said she felt gross and unattractive but then admitted she had no sex drive, she didn't even want to talk about sex or do foreplay. She said it's not just that night but a constant.
What should I do? I'm worried about her and it makes me pretty sad that I can't turn my wife on anymore. Is it a normal thing to lose your sex drive for a while after miscarriage? She hasn't had her period after it yet and might not for a month or two apparently. I'm also worried because that can be a sign of depression, especially mixed with how she was saying she sees nothing attractive about herself anymore. | Wife[30f] lost sex drive after miscarriage last month. I don't know how I[28m] can help her or what to do. |
t3_28jbwd | relationships | Me [22 F]with my high school friend [24F] (non-tomantic) I no longer want to be her friend but She is suicidal and I don't know how she'll react | I'm on my phone so please excuse my grammar. I met my friend Anna junior year in high school. We were both depressed and into art so we could relate. I worked really hard to get out of my depression and I started going to punk shows, met lots of friends and things got better for me.
Fast forward to now I am slowly paying for my own college, I am in the U.S with a student visa so I don't qualify for financial aid nor loans so it's taking me a long time. I have always had a job since I turned 14. I am active and I am in a relationship with the most wonderful person ever. Things are pretty hard for me because of other stuff but still i try.
Anna on the other hand grew up privileged, after high school she tried community college and failed all her classes and never went back. She is now 24, has never had a job or boyfriend and when I visit, her mom has to drive us around. She just stays at home all day and plays video games, depression is an excuse for everything.
I am sick of her, i feel awful because i am the only friend she has and she keeps sending me texts about wanting to kill herself. I try to help her and she just starts getting defensive. Please help me i have no idea what to do, i just really don't want to be around her she always makes mean comments about my appearance to top it off | Friend from high school is a completely non functional mean adult, keeps saying shes going to kill herself and I no longer want to be her friend |
t3_3dzjd1 | relationships | My (M/26) Ex-Gf (F/22) Always Went Back to Her College to Party But I Wasn't Allowed to Come.. | About 45 minutes from where I live is my EX-GF's college town, Oxford Ohio. She graduated last summer. Since she graduated she goes back here and there but refuses to bring me along or invite me. When we first started dating, she had just finished her last semester. We hung around the college town a few times in the summer and always had so much fun together up there. After she moved down to the city I told her a few times how I missed partying up there with her and really wanted to go back. She had a few girlfriends up there that I really liked and were alot of fun. I would say lets go see Tiff and go to such and such bar for 90's night!
Anyway, she went up there probably 5 or 6 times without me in 7 months. Once or twice I wasn't available to go but outside of that she would never let me come along. She would go up there and get blackout drunk with her friends and party all day/night. It never sat well with me. At one point, she refused to tell me where she was going to sleep. Another time she said she was sleeping in her car. She seemed to use the "i blacked out" line to avoid any questions about her night. She also got really mad when I insisted she called me when she got to where she was staying safe. I mean, she would always get so drunk and sometimes do drugs, it's kind of a crazy party school and I had legitimate concern about her getting home safe.
What do you think of this behavior? | My ex-gf would return to her college town and get black out drunk all the time but refused to invite me to come along. |
t3_4wsllj | relationships | How can I get my mother (58f) to stop blaming me? | My parents are divorced. I (29F) haven't spoken to my father in over ten years. I lived with him briefly in high school my freshman and sophomore year after some abuse stuff with my mom.
My father was always manipulative. When I was in late elementary, he would ask how often I was at the sitter, how often I was alone, specific questions about my life with my mom. I had a hard time with loyalty. When I lived with him in high school, he typed up a letter that was written as if it came from me and had me sign it. The letter was to gain access to my bank account. I have no idea what happened to the money.
I moved back in with my mother at sixteen. When I was eighteen, my father sued her for overpayment of child support. This went on for years. They both had good points. My mom asked me to write a letter to the judge on her behalf , but I refused because I did not want to take sides. My mom lost.
To this day, she holds me responsible. It was my choice to let my dad gain access of my account and why had I been so unwilling to write this letter? These are events from 10-15 years ago. I told her that she and my father did put me in the middle. She reminds me that this whole child support thing was because of me/for me. | How do I get my mother to understand that I was placed in an impossible position of pleasing two manipulative parents and I was just a teen? |
t3_l3jhv | AskReddit | In a prospectively faltering economy, would you recommend a student study a field where (s)he is probably going to be in high demand, therefore ensuring them a decently paying job in the future, or go into a field they truly feel passionate about, regardless of hardships they may face as a result? | I'm a commuting college freshman, which pretty much means that I have no friends. As you can imagine, I've had a lot of time to think about important things I kind of pushed to the side of my mind once they popped up because they scared me. Now that I've spent about a month in relative social deprivation, I now know that I have done enough introspection to realize that I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I've come to the conclusion that all this time growing up I've been dicking around and not really giving two shits about empowering myself with purpose.
I have interests, issues, and subjects I am passionate about (however strange they are), but I'm not sure what to pursue. Currently my plan is that of economic security - do whatever I want once I have my basic needs met in our future, probably shit-sputtering economy. I have a major, and I have a plan. But to me, doing something merely for financial convenience is a fairly anesthetic experience of life. I feel increasingly detached from my academics and I'm pretty much falling into a slump. I am constantly filled with the apprehension of not knowing what to do. I don't feel alive and engaged in my own life.
Now perhaps I feel this way temporarily (I've been rather depressed since beginning college, though it's waning), and I may be infuriatingly naive, but I'm just blowing off some steam since I don't talk to anyone ever.
I don't know. Ignore all of this. I'm losing my shit.
NOTE: I'm not complaining, I'm just a little lost. I understand that I'm extremely privileged to even be in this situation and I know that many before me, including redditors who are reading this, have undergone tribulations far worse than my own. | angsty rant: How big of a role should the prospective job market play in what field a student decides to study? |
t3_3d4o9u | travel | Itching to work away for a year (Canada? US? NZ?) | Hi all,
in late 2013 I bought an Australian 12 Month WHV and between the time of buying the VISA and leaving for Australia I met a girl...I ended up spending 2 months in Australia and flying over to Canada (where she'd moved to) for a further 2 months, I then returned to the UK...too poor to get back to Oz and work!
The relationship didn't last and I now find myself sat in the UK regretting my decision to leave Australia and not work the full year, my VISA has expired as of the 29th May.
We all learn from our mistakes and I'm looking to go away and try this again and make sure nothing gets in my way...but I'm thinking of where to go.
The places on my mind are New Zealand, Canada or the States...
I absolutely loved **Canada** and would definitely work over there, but I'm aware the WHV applications open throughout March - April and are difficult to obtain, does anybody have any experience with going over as a skilled worker and if it was worth the effort/cost? From what I've read it's pretty expensive.
The **USA** seems like it would be 'similar' to Canada but just that little bit more "MURICA", still an environment I would find interesting to saturate myself in. Although after some reading it seems as though the US doesn't do any kind of WHV?! I don't have a bachelor's degree so perhaps the US is off the list...
**New Zealand** seems like the easiest place to get a VISA for me as a UK citizen and strikes me as fairly similar to Australia, which isn't a bad thing at all. Has anybody done this route and if so how have they found the country/people/process?
These are my options, just wondering if anybody has taken any of these and if they're able to provide some insight into what they went through! Thanks!! | Made a dumb decision because of 'love' so want to work away for a year in NZ, Canada or USA...anyone have experience in the processes/anything they'd have done differently. |
t3_1dps13 | relationship_advice | How to deal with financial pet peeves? 19/f in a relationship with 20/m | So my boyfriend took a year off from school and decided to move in to an apartment next to me. His parents help him out a good bit, but he does largely support himself. He pays his own rent for an apartment I spend a lot of time in and sometimes shares his food/weed/etc with me. Whenever we "split" something though, I always end up paying way over my share and essentially buying it. He often asks me to buy him stuff that he says he will pay me back for but he never offers. I don't really get annoyed about the money but it frustrates me because I feel like we had an agreement and he didn't keep it. I appreciate that he shares is things with me, but he has significantly more money than I do so it's a bit unfair that I would have an obligation to contribute equally on my side when I did not take part in deciding what he is buying. Bringing it up will cause a lot of arguing and I don't really want to but I'm wondering if I should because it annoys me and my family (my parents get annoyed that he never offers to pay for anything when he stays over for a while. They probably wouldn't take the money but same principle) a great deal when he does this, when it really shouldn't be a big deal. | my boyfriend has a lot of expenses but never, ever pays me back when he says he will or gives me back change |
t3_iyv2o | dating_advice | Screwed myself over (with a girl and money). How can I get out of this or move past it? | I'm not going to go into much detail here, so I'm going to try and make this as simple as I can:
Met a girl online, fell for her, she knew I liked her, I was a complete fool, paid nearly $200 for her own ticket to an event taking place later this year so that we could meet up and enjoy the event together and she said she was going to pay me back. A few months later, I asked if she has the money to pay me back yet, she got all defensive and asked "seriously?". Now, I just recently texted her "Sup" to say hi and see how things are doing and she responds, "Who's this?".
Obviously she knows and is just playing games with me. I could care less about that, seeing as I have lost interest with this girl... I just want my damn money that she said she was going to pay me back with!
I'm pretty much fucked, right? How should I respond? I want to just say "Trolololol" and then block her phone #, but then I know I'll definitely have no way to contact her about the money. | Foolishly paid nearly $200 for a girl to meet up with me, turns out she was a bitch, now I want my money back! |
t3_3e5n5t | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [23/M] of 3 years. How to discuss taking a break for academic reasons? | I am about to go into my final semester of uni. I will be at uni 9-6.30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, working 9-5 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and doing some voluntary work/studying/exercising on weekends and in the evenings.
As this is my last semester, I want to do as well as possible... but with my hectic schedule, this doesn't leave me much time for my boyfriend. We live very close to one another and in the past, he has been a bit of a distraction to my studies... but my schedule has never been this hectic before.
I think it might be a good idea to put the relationship on ice until November. It has nothing to do with the relationship itself, but I feel like I just need some time to myself to get shit done, distraction free. | So my question is this: How can I bring this up with my boyfriend without him thinking there is an ulterior motive? And has anyone else put a relationship on hold for a similar reason? |
t3_3jy1x0 | relationships | Me [25M] had a first date with her [23F]. I had a lot of fun, however she lives 7 hours away. How should I proceed? | Basically I matched with this girl on a dating app 2 months ago. She lives in LA, and I live in SF. She comes back to SF once in a while because that's where her family lives. She's just in LA for work, but plans to eventually get a job in the SF area.
But anyway we've been talking for two months and we finally met up in SF because she visited for labor day weekend and the date went great! She's very very socially awkward which was interesting. I however find it extremely cute since I'm also awkward and we actually meshed together really well! I was surprised. We both grew comfortable during the date and had a nice time. Had a nice Mediterranean dinner and then randomly decided to go goof off in home depot haha.
My issue is though that I want to keep talking to her and eventually keep seeing her when she visits. Is this feasible? Can this work if we connect enough? How should I proceed to talk to her about this? She told me she won't be visiting until October now which is a long time. I see potential with her which is kind of rare for me. Any help would be great. I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but then again I actually like her so far and want to see where this goes. | Had a great date but she lives so far away. Can this work out and if so how can I go about making this work? |
t3_y2zyq | AskReddit | Reddit, one of my best friends has recently expressed extreme homophobia and hatred toward gays after the topic of Chick-fil-a came up. How should I get him to calm down the hatred at least in my presence? | I have known this friend since the end of my 8^th grade year (I'm entering 10^th grade this month) and we have a lot in common. We have been great friends for a lot of this time. But recently, our entire football team (which we are both on) all went to the new Bourne Legacy movie at our local theater. Upon leaving the theater, the topic of what we should eat came up, and someone suggested chick-fil-a. He then said something like "Yeah, we should go there! They hate fags!". I then said that he was apparently okay with them not approving of homosexuality, to which he replied "Fuck yeah! They're standing up for what's right!". Not wanting to spark up a debate in front of the theater, I just replied with something like "Yeah, guess they have a right to their opinion", which they do.
Basically, I don't have a problem believing what he believes, but how can I get him to tone the harshness of his hatred down to a level at which an argument is close to ensuing? I don't want to lose my friend over something like this, but I still don't exactly enjoy hearing about how much he "hates fags" every now and then and not being able to do anything about it. | Friend is extremely homophobic, doesn't seem to care if people hear his opinion, want to politely ask him to stop in front of me (at least). |
t3_1xjmtf | relationships | How should my girlfriend (17,F) and I (19,M) deal with long distance? | My girlfriend and I live in different cities, only about an hour's train ride away, but we're finding things really hard at the moment. We both have a lot on our plates with uni and school work and she's currently doing a lot of driving and I think we're drifting and not staying in contact enough, but both finding it hard to do so.
I feel like the spark is going out a bit and although we both do really like each other she's said she doesn't think we're going to be as close any more.
I'm wondering if this is just a combination of us both being really busy at the moment (I've just had exams) or is our relationship reaching it's natural end?
We see each other roughly every fortnight, although due to busy timetables we've only seen each other for 3 hours in the last 3/4 weeks.
I'd welcome any thoughts/ideas on this topic, thank you. | having trouble keeping things alive with my girlfriend who lives in a different city, we think we're drifting apart but our busy schedules make it difficult to see each other really often. |
t3_3fh3mh | relationships | I (23m) have been seeing a girl (22f) for 4 months. Decided to have an open relationship while she was overseas and she slept with someone. | We started dating 5 months ago. We have never been official but were both exclusive while we were dating.
1 month ago she left on a 5 week overseas holiday and is returning home in 6 days. I've been away before and know how it can be. I said that I didn't want to compromise her trip in any way, and said that she does not have to be committed to me while she is away, and we can see where things are when she gets back.
Recently she drunkenly slept with someone.
She told me the next day which I really appreciate.
I expected something like this might happen and I'm almost ok with it.
But, she didn't use a condom (she is on implanon).
I'm finding this really irresponsible, and kind of disgusting that she didn't use a condom with a one night stand. The thought of it has killed the sexual desire I feel for her.
I don't know where to go from here.
Any thoughts? | open relationship while girl overseas, she had sex with someone, I can deal with that, but she didn't use a condom. |
t3_3i40s6 | relationships | My family is splitting up and I [18F] am really worried about my mom [55F] who has depression | This might be a dumb question but I would be thankful for your suggestions.
My mom has always been the glue that's held my whole family together (it's her, me, my little sister, and my dad).
She loves us all a lot and the concept of family is very important to her. Her and my sister are like best friends, they have really similar personalities (both extroverts) and they rely on each other for company and emotional support. I usually keep to myself, and I like it that way.
My mom's really struggling because my sister is moving about 3 hours away for college this september, and my dad is moving out because they are separated.
Both my sister and my dad usually keep my mom company and I'm really worried that with them gone, she's going to become very lonely and sad. She doesn't have much going on outside the house, and she's been really sad a lot lately because so much is changing. She was actually diagnosed with depression a while ago but she doesn't really see a therapist, she told me she doesn't think it's necessary (and we can't afford it anyways).
So what can I do to be there for her and help her through all these changes? Do I just suck it up and talk to her more? Should I plan outings with her? I'm really worried, she is very much an extrovert and she needs that social interaction, which I really suck at. But I want to be there for her cause it's just gonna be her and me for a while. | Dad and sister are both moving out at the same time, they keep her company, I don't know if my mom will be ok with them gone. |
t3_1pit5d | relationships | Me [19M] with my Girlfriend [19F] Finally learned how to get with other girls while in a relationship...... | Hello reddit, in order for you to understand where I am coming from here is a very short background of me. I grew up an only child, my parents never got married nor have I ever lived with them. Growing up I was very happy and loved attention, fast forward to 6th grade I started becoming VERY interested in girls.
fast forward that I realized they were not very interested in my, became a class clown for most of middle school for any attention from girls. Didn't get away with That clown shit in high school, had gained weight since middle school, was bullied, didn't fit in and was very self conscious.
During those years of high school I met my wonderful girlfriend, we didn't go to the same school just the same church. I had my first kiss with her at 17 she was and is still my first love. We have not had sex yet and she thinks I am a virgin which brings me to another part of my life
I went into the Airforce straight out of high school, about this time I had gotten into pretty good shape and I started getting attention from girls, I really didnt and still don't know how to take this attention, since I've been away in the Airforce l(1 year 3 months) I have had sex with 9 girls, I fucking know this is horrible, and it's making me wonder if I even love the girl I am officially with. I hate this feeling I know she deserves better, but I just feel so horrible with those other females it's just like an impulse. Anyway I don't expect anyone to like me for this post I just need someone to talk to..... | Grew up with horrible self-esteem, met my first love, went into the Airforce better looking, sex with 9 other women....do I love her but have issues? Or do I not love her at all? |
t3_4nizdm | relationships | I [25F] need some help, perspective, and motivation when it comes to dating. | Sorry for the throwaway but I have many friends who are apparently aware of my regular account.
I'm generally an upbeat person but the past few days have been really tough for me.
I've been using online dating sites to meet people. I'm attractive and in shape for the most part. I'm active and have a decent job (though I do live in a big expensive city, so I have to live with my parents). I have hobbies and a handful of new friends. In my office I'm known for being nice and an easy person to work with.
Lately I've just felt very... unmotivated with online dating. I'd really like more insight or advice. I've been single since late 2012 and spent the past 3ish years keeping people out, but lately I've been way more open, transparent, and just more vulnerable I guess you could say because I'm actually putting myself out there.
I've had dozens of first dates but only a handful of second date. I'd like to meet someone cool to travel and build a relationship with, and I'll be honest - sometimes I'm scared that will never happen for me. Or it will happen too late. | What can I do to stay motivated with dating? What are your best dating tips in general? How can I be a more approachable woman? |
t3_f0hhf | AskReddit | How to reasonably dispute a repair bill? | Here's the situation: I bought a home recently that has central gas heat. When it started getting cold, we realized we couldn't figure out how to light it. I thought I just didn't know what I was doing, but when I called a local contractor to come take a look at it, he couldn't light it either. He replaced a part(thermocouple) he said was bad, but it still wouldn't work. He said the pilot was staying lit now, but the furnace itself wouldn't light(something like that, I don't know much about heaters).
So he goes off to find this second part he claims I need. Nearly a month and a half go by with the only communication being between my mom and his secretary (they have a business relationship). They said they were still looking for a part. I could believe this as it is an older mobile home and parts for them can be damn hard to find. We were still freezing our asses off in the mean-time, however.
Well, eventually we get hit by a tornado. Among the damage it did, it fucked up a gas line nearby, so they shut off the main. When they cut it back on, an employee of the gas company came by to light pilot lights. When my roommate told him the heater was broken and under repairs, he still offered to take a look at it. Despite this second part still being searched for by the repair guy I hired, the gas company guy lit the heater and turned it on and its been running perfectly since. I got a bill over winter break(again, through my mother) and was charged for the new thermocouple and for "diagnostic".
Their diagnosis was obviously wrong since it works without the second part, and now I'm questioning whether I even needed a new thermocouple to begin with. Am I required to pay them the full bill amount? What do you think would be a reasonable settlement? I'm a new home owner and don't really know what's reasonable to expect from this. | I got charged for a part I'm not sure I needed and a diagnosis that was (at least) partially incorrect. Need suggestions for reasonable settlement. |
t3_3d3jfn | tifu | TIFU by not checking a photo | Obligatory "this wasn't today".
I live in Australia and recently got my L plates. I'm nearly 17 and should have gotten them just under a year ago, so all my friends were giving me shit about it. I finally got them and thought I would post a picture of it, let everyone know, no worries.
Cue to 15 minutes later, I get a private message on Facebook from one of my friends: "Congrats, but you should probably take down that photo". I was really confused, so I checked what was wrong with it.
When I took the photo, I figured I'd take it with my license on there to prove it was me. I then Photoshopped it so all my details were blurred out. Well, I didn't upload the edited one - I uploaded the one with not only my name, but my address, my license number, DOB and signature.
I took the photo down straight away, haven't suffered any repercussions of it. Fingers crossed I'm in the clear. | I took a photo of my licence and blurred out the details, posted the wrong picture on Facebook, meaning all my details were there for anyone to take. |
t3_1bjo2b | relationships | My [24m] girlfriend of 1.5 years [23f] is terrified of getting pregnant and we rarely have sex. Should this be a dealbreaker? | We wear condoms, she's on birth control, and she still asks that I try to pull out. She says things will change if we get married, but I don't want to take that risk and find out nothing is different after a ring is on her finger.
We were both virgins when we started dating, waiting for the right relationship. I want to believe she'll become sexually curious if we did get married, but why would anything change if we're still not ready to have children after the wedding? I don't think either of us wants kids until we're around 30. | Rarely have sex with my gf; she says things will change if we get married. Is it normal to be so terrified of getting pregnant? Can I believe her? |
t3_i7t45 | AskReddit | What's the biggest coincidence you've ever experienced? | In the summer before high school began, a girl from my neighborhood who I knew fancied me moved away. I assumed she was gone for a while. Years later, it's the first semester of Junior year. I had gone into what's called a Middle College, so my high school is at the community college(there's only about 100 students total) My first college class is sociology, and it took me half a semester to figure out why the girl who sat next to me looked so familiar: it was her. We ended up dating once, but she's a fundie, and I'm an r/atheist. It didn't work out. | Girl from before high school shows up randomly at community college class that both of us happened to apply to and be accepted in a rather exclusive program and take the same class at the same time. |
t3_13i1vw | relationships | I [22/m] am extremely uncomfortable with the way my girlfriend [22] acts with her male friends. | We were at a party last night, at her friend's apartment. She considers this guy one of her best friends, though they have only known each other for a couple years or so. They had sex before we started dating (she was the one to tell me, for the record). We've been together since June of 2012.
Anyway, when she was interacting with him at this "party" (only 6-7 people in a rather small apartment) she just seemed to be extremely physical and close...she hugged him around the neck and kissed him on the neck 4-5 times throughout the 3 hours we were there...she was consistently getting close to his face and brushing her hands through his hair...she was playfully tickling his stomach and chest at a few points...basically doing most cutesy things she would do with me, except on another guy, right in front of me...
My girlfriend and I are long distance, and while I do trust her and have no suspicion of her cheating on me, this interaction between her and her male friend made me INCREDIBLY uncomfortable, and to be completely honest, I still am. I always hear people telling me to avoid girls who have almost exclusively male friends, and she is certainly one of them. It hasn't really gotten to me until last night. It was like I was watching her fall in love with someone else. | my girlfriend was all over a close guy friend at a party, the closest contact was neck kissing and playful scratching/tickling, all multiple times. She claims she has no feelings for him but I just feel extremely uncomfortable. |
t3_jfxdq | AskReddit | My friend just got a DUI -- What happens now? | This is his first, his court date is in less than two weeks. Basically looking for two things:
**Worst case scenario**
**Best case scenario**
The irony of it is my friends and I just had an intervention for him last week. In just this past month he's (1)fallen asleep on a park bench, (2)woken up in a terrible neighborhood in someone's back yard without shoes, lost his car and wandered an entire city for 6 hours(without shoes) looking for the car, and (3)spent $2500+ on strippers/hookers. He's had many similar things happen in the past, and it's ridiculous that he hasn't gotten a DUI before this. In fact, he's been pulled over drunk and passed the sobriety test.
In the back of my mind I'm happy this happened, because nothing else seemed to have taught him a lesson. My friends and I did all we could, and frankly he just deserves this now. I'm just glad he never hurt anybody.
Anyway, all I'm looking for is what will **likely** happen to him. He was pulled over, failed the field sobriety test, then blew a **.15** at the station. The state trooper also got him for speeding (70 in a 55).
I told him to walk into court like a dog that just ripped up the garbage. There's no way out, you just need to ask the judge to fuck you gently. | Friend got his first DUI(.15) and a speeding ticket, what is likely to be the outcome? What can be guaranteed to happen, and what can possibly happen with a good judge? |
t3_4mnmlv | weddingplanning | [Vent] Surprisingly upset about trying to schedule a dress shopping appointment | Well, I'm now a little over 10 months away from my wedding date and something finally made me cry, and it was pretty unexpected. I'm about to try and schedule an appointment to go wedding dress shopping, and I really want my whole wedding party to be there. I have four girls (3 bridesmaids and a matron of honor) plus my Mom - there's H and L, my best friends since elementary school, and S and K, my sisters (K is MOH). And maneuvering around everyone's schedules is starting to look like a word problem from math class.
The bridal salon I want to go to closes at 5 or 6 on weekdays, is open Saturdays, and closed Sundays. H and L work until at least 5 during the week and both live at least 30 minutes away from the salon (H is more like an hour away). S works irregular hours, but can ask off whenever with enough notice. K makes her own schedule, but can't do Saturdays because her son has a baseball game every Saturday in June. Mom has no conflicts.
I didn't even realize how important it was to me to have everyone there for this, until I found out it couldn't work and I started crying about it. I know it's only the first shopping appointment and there most likely will be more (not to mention fittings later on), but this salon carries my favorite gown, so there's a chance that I'll find The Dress this time. And I guess I just hoped that all these people would be there when I found The Dress. I was really hoping that if I tried hard enough, I could find a day that worked for everyone, but it looks like it's impossible. And I'm just really disappointed. Thanks for reading my (really pretty silly and irrational) whining. | I want my entire bridal party to be there for dress shopping, but there are too many conflicting schedules and I'm irrationally upset about it. |
t3_nzohu | AskReddit | Redditors, have you ever thought of a genius invention on your own, that later in life you found out made someone else rich? | Hi reddit, I'm 19 and I currently go to Virginia Tech University in the U.S. Ever since I was little i would always come up with inventions in my mind that I didn't have the ability to make myself and would never share for no particular reason with people that could. One that I remember, that recently I found out had been invented was a machine that would tell people how many parking spaces were available and where those parking spaces were in a parking garage. I'd always hate going to the mall with my family and being stuck searching floor after floor of the garage for a spot, and thought that what if someone could create a small sensor like an invisible laser that you could install over every parking space to signal whether a car was under it or not, if the space was free it would light up and direct cars to it. This was 5 or 6 years ago when I was in middle school. The first time i saw one of those boards that tell you if a garage was full I thought to myself, wow that could've been my idea that got me rich, if only I capatilized on the thought. Yesterday as I was parking my car I noticed green lights over spaces that were free and red lights over spaces that weren't...someone had invented what I thought of years ago and put it into reality. Of course someone else deserves the money for the hard work, it just sucks to think that could've been me. Any of you have any similar stories to share? | I came up with an idea to speed up finding spaces in parking garages years ago, never did anything about it and someone else invented it recently. Any of you have similar stories? |
t3_zwrbf | relationships | Nearing 1 year with my SO, not really going anywhere | To preface: we are both in our late 20's/early 30's.
I like being with my boyfriend a lot. He's really good to me, sweet, we get along really really well. Many things fit really perfectly with us in ways I didn't really think they would(opposites attracting, etc). There's absolutely nothing malicious about him at all.
The issue is, he's been seeking help for depression and because of that and his medications, we haven't has sex since April. Before that, it had been very intermittent for a few months. At first it was a sudden plummet in sex drive but now we've been blaming it on the meds.
Well, 4-5 different medications and 5 months later, it has not helped. We've had sex maybe twice in the past 7 months. His sex drive just doesn't exist. I keep saying "we just need to find the right medication to get you feeling okay again" but at this point I feel like I'm fooling myself. No matter how much we talk about it, nothing ever happens.
The other thing is he knows that I feel strongly for him (as in, I love him, otherwise I wouldn't be trying to go through this) and he has admitted he's "not as attached" to me as I am to him. I've been in this situation before and swore I would never do it again, but I keep making excused that he does like me, treats me well, and isn't anxious to go anywhere else.
Am I just fooling myself? I kept hoping the right combination of meds and therapy would get him back to that dude I was with the first few months, who wanted to have sex all the time and was totally ready to say "i love you" but I think it might be a lost cause... | Because of meds and depression, boyfriend of almost a year doesn't feel as strongly about me as I do about him. We also haven't been having sex for the majority of our relationship. |
t3_194x9m | dating_advice | How to text a girl [16F] I [15M] recently met? | So, at a speech/forensics tournament yesterday, I met this amazing girl.
We talked for a couple of hours, and I got her number. She lives one city over and I don't want to lose contact with her.
I started texting her last night asking her how she did in her events, if she was going to be at the next tournament, etc.
I've exhausted almost all possible questions about speech team, and the conversation ended.
It's the next day, and I still want to talk to her, but I don't know how I would start a conversation. I don't want to only talk about speech.
I'm 15 and she's 16, if this information helps with anything.
( | met a girl, like her, want to keep contact and develop relationship. How do I start a conversation over text?) |
t3_ij383 | AskReddit | Has Anyone Here Gone Back to School to Learn a Trade After Discovering Their Liberal Arts Degree is Worth Dick in the Working World? | I graduated college in '08 with a bachelor's degree in philosophy. I chose not to pursue graduate school because my grades weren't *that* good and while I had chosen philosophy initially because it was more interesting than anything else, by that time I was sick of it. Also, I had just risen above the level of common peon lv. 1 at my big-box retail job and a career there didn't look so bad. I was actually making *okay* money - enough to live, if just barely.
About a year later my position was eliminated and by that time I was sick of the place anyway, so I took the severance check and split. I got a job in a badass little shop in town, where I still work. I work about thirty-five hours a week for what is essentially minimum wage. **After taxes, I bring home less than 11,000 dollars a year**.
I tried having a second job for a while and finally kind of had a nervous breakdown, and anyway the idea of working a shitload of hours for shitty pay doesn't look like a good plan any more. I'd like to make some money, Reddit. I'd like to receive and honest day's pay for an honest day's work.
In light of [this] I've decided it would be a good idea to try to learn a trade. Has anyone else done this? Abandoned a fancy education that was getting you nowhere to learn to install toilets or work on air conditioning units? I'm kind of at the end of my rope here. | I'm thinking about quitting my minimum wage slavery position and going back to school to learn a trade. Has anyone else here done this? |
t3_2u0nsm | tifu | TIFU by being charitable. | I was getting ready for work. Put on some old jeans and found a ten dollar bill, sweet, lucky day. On the way to work I put in fuel in the car. I pay 29 cash and get an extra dollar back to go get a peach Optimo (cigar) after getting fuel.
As I'm filling up the car a lady comes ask if I have any change. I always have change in my car so I reach in and grab a hand full of coins. I give it to her and she says, "Thanks." And leaves. As she's walking away I realize the extra dollar shoved in my pocket so I yell, "Oh, hey here's an extra dollar!" I get in my car and reach in my pocket for the ten dollar bill. "What the fuck." I pulled out a dollar. Look throw my pockets, nothing. Look in my wallet, nothing. "Fuckin shit!" Where is my ten at.
Then I realized I fucked up and gave her a crumpled up ten dollar bill. I felt like such a big dummy. "What ever." I turn on my car and as I'm leaving I see her. She's not alone. She has a little kid with her and both with big smiles as they walk into a McDonald's. | Gave someone a ten dollar bill thinking it was a dollar. But it turns out she and her kid needed it more than I did. |
t3_1hdn7f | relationships | Me[20M] and a friend [20F] hooked up but she is in a relationship and I'm conflicted about what to do... | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So I met this girl through reddit/Facebook a week before I went to a large music festival in Vegas (Electric Daisy Carnival, referred to as EDC) because she was going too. So we were talking casually about EDC and travel plans and such. I got down there Thursday and there was a big meet up where we first met in person. Continued talking through text/Facebook all Friday, we were going to go the the festival together but got separated because there is no cell service at the festival location.
Saturday we hung out a little bit then we met up at the festival and hung out the rest of the time with one of her ex boyfriends who went to the festival too.
Sunday we were together like all day and all through the festival just us two and she was like super attached to me holding my hand and hugs and stuff. Then Monday morning after the festival I had to check out early from my hotel so I did that and we both went back to her room. She had other roommates in her room so we ended up sharing a bed/sleeping together/hooking up. Problem is she has a boyfriend and she lives 1000 miles away. She drove to my state by happenstance two days before the festival and stayed with some friends here then came on Thursday to Vegas.
We woke up on Monday pretty late and I had to drive back because I had work on Tuesday. She drove back with me and she stayed with her friends for a few days until she drove back to her state. We hung out pretty much every waking moment until she had to leave. And we've been texting each other every moment we're not together including even after she got back home.
And I'm just confused as to what to do because 1. It's long distance and 2. She already has a boyfriend. We've both expressed feelings that indicate more than just a one night stand and she flat out told me that if the distance wasn't there that she would leave her boyfriend. | I went to a festival and slept with a girl and we both have feelings for each other and don't want it to end but it's long distance and she has a boyfriend. |
t3_35qz2m | relationships | How can I [F/26] deal with my ex [M/27] I'm stuck in flat | Disclaimer: I'm writing this as my friend who's not redditor and I wanna help her.
> I was dating this guy for 2.5 and for the last 2 years we live together in flat. The relationship was on decline for the last 9 months or so. This resulted in a breakup last weekend.
>
> Since then he's quite mean and unleashed psychological warfare. On one moment he's trying to fix the whole thing and get back together. On the other moment he's complaining how it's my fault he will be single now. Then he says even though he still really likes me, he hopes I will find someone good for me. Rinse and repeat. Constant "whining".
>
> Given we share a two room flat it's a almost impossible to avoid each other. And I cannot move out for next 2 months. **How to deal with him?** I'm not sure I will cope with that for next 2 months.
>
> | Ex tries to fix *unfixable* relationship which is stressing me out. We will share flat for next 2 months. |
t3_g6rs2 | AskReddit | How do I keep my family's legacy intact? | I've posted previously about what an evil step-mother I have, here is some background before I get to my question:
My dad married a mail order bride (huge age gap) who has slowly driven his children away and kept him sheltered from his lifelong friends and all the while physically, emotionally, financially abusing him. She tricked him into putting his property into her name (he's mostly blind and couldn't see what he was signing), we got part of it reversed (mostly through threatening to sue her for fraud), but my father let her name stay on the house they live in because she didn't want to be homeless once my father died (homeless from us driving her away...which we wouldn't do in the first place...but whatever, that was her argument). I don't care if she lives there, I just don't want the house my grandfather built to be sold...which is what she has told everyone she is doing as soon as my father dies.
I just don't want what has been in the family for three generations to be sold off by this near-stranger. They have not been married very long and it became very clear very soon after they married she just did it for money.
I've been told that as soon as my father dies, she will automatically get the house and the property it sits on, that it won't go through probate...but that the other properties will have to go through probate because her name is not on them. I've had other people tell me that isn't true, that she still has to go through probate with the house even though her name is on the house.
The will says that everything is to be split evenly between her and the children.
Everything is in the state of Oregon.
I do plan on talking with an attorney that does estate law, but I was wondering if any other redditors have gone through this before. | If a husband and a wife both have their names on the deed of the house, but the house was bought before the marriage, does the house automatically go to the wife upon the husbands death or does it go through probate? |
t3_2aw8zx | relationships | Me [19/F] can't get over a girl I liked/loved. I find flaws with everyone else... | Around two and a half years ago, I fell for this girl. We'd been at school together for almost six years at the time, and we'd never spoke before this. She randomly started messaging me, and we got really close. Nothing ever happened, but it was close. We eventually just drifted apart. Then about a year and half ago, we got REALLY close again, but she had a boyfriend. She was all I ever thought about. She was perfect. Well, after about six months of us becoming really good friends again, we left sixth form, and haven't spoke since. This was a year ago, and I still think about her a lot. I definitely don't 'love her' like I used to, but I dream about her (not sexually), which I find really weird seeing as we haven't spoke for a year, as I said.
Since then, girls have shown an interest in me. Two currently message me all the time, asking to meet up, etc, but I just can't get excited about it. Both are extremely attractive, but I keep finding really mundane flaws and reasons not to be interested in them. When the girl I used to talk to at school would message me, I'd get butterflies in my stomach, and my pulse would raise. With every girl since, I feel nothing.
What do I do? | I was crazy about a girl. We've not spoken in a year. Every other girl who messages me/shows an interest in me, I can't get excited about. |
t3_2jpvdb | relationships | I [21F] need advice on how to stop being jealous of my boyfriend's [22M] family. (together 2 years) | This may seem stupid, but it's become a big issue in my life. I love my boyfriend very much and our relationship is great.
Last year, my dad died. It has been very traumatic for me and his death was unexpected. I was VERY close to my dad. It is currently approaching the 1 year anniversary of his death (November) so it is a difficult time for me. Around this time last year, I was finding out that he was sick (we found out he was sick and he died quickly after, my family was very shocked)
For some reason, when my boyfriend talks excessively about a fun family weekend he had or something, I get horribly jealous. It makes me hate myself! I just get so jealous when he talks about how he and his dad did this and this and this last weekend.
I am jealous that he has a family that provides for him emotionally while my family is me and my mom, trying to rebuild our lives after the devastation of losing my dad, which has not been easy.
I am so happy he is having a fun time with his family, and I know these issues are my fault. How do I stop being like this and causing my own problems? | My dad died and my family is devestated. My boyfriend has a really awesome, tight-knit family and it makes me jealous. I need to stop being so jealous. |
t3_kg1ed | AskReddit | What's the most recent thing you regret? | I'll start with what I did today.
*Setting: High School Lunch*
I was sitting at lunch with a bunch of my friends and we were all chatting having a good time. I look over a couple tables over and I see this cute girl sitting at an empty table all by herself doing absolutely nothing. It was like a scene straight out of a movie. I periodically looked over to see if she was waiting for someone or texting or something to keep her busy. Her back was towards me and all I could tell was that no one was coming to accompany her. I went to go through out my trash and looked over to just see her just sitting there playing with her fingers. I was amazed at the opportunity I had but also put down to see such a cute girl sitting by herself doing nothing. I sat back at my table and thought just thought to myself "I should really go over there and talk to her". After 5-10 horrendous minutes of just arguing with myself in my head on going over there to talk to her, the bell rang and lunch was over, everyone left. At that moment I knew I should've gone over. I've been thinking about this all day and can't help but be angry with myself. Maybe I can redeem myself. Maybe. | I saw a cute girl sitting by herself doing nothing today at lunch and I passed up the opportunity to talk to her. |
t3_2jyp91 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Crush [18 F] 1 hour, I'm a newbie and I'm not sure what happened today. | Ok I'll give some background info to start off. I'm a complete newbie when it comes to romantic relationships and girls. I'm a virgin, never kissed a girl, and never even held hands with a girl. I used to be pretty scrawny and weak, but a year and a half of bodybuilding has dramatically changed that, I would call myself very attractive now. I've gotten better at conversation and socializing over the past year after watching and practicing videos from RSD Tyler and Elliot Hulse. So I've been getting better at life hopefully, but I'm not sure it's made a difference.
This girl that I've been crushing on the past year or two is in one of my classes this year (senior year of highschool) and today the class was cancelled. I went to the library and there she was, and she said hi. We chatted and I went to sit down at a table, and she sat down with me. Instead of working, we just talked for an hour about life, college, school, miscellaneous stuff ect.
I felt ok, I was a bit uncomfortable I think, because nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and I think she was ok too. I saw her a few times later today and said hi then too.
So I'm asking, what does it all mean?!?!
It was a casual conversation, but maybe she was flirting with me? Would we be able to do it again? Where should I go from here?
I have a lot of unanswered questions since I know nothing about girls. I really like this girl, so I don't want to screw this up. If anyone can provide some ideas or insight, or need any further information let me know.
This is my first time posting here obviously, so please be gentle. Thank you very much! | Spent an hour spontaneously talking with my crush. I don't know what it means or what I should do about it. |
t3_1jk55y | AskReddit | Suffering from Post concussion syndrome, and wondered if anyone else might have some great advice to help recover. | Back in 2006 I suffered a number of head injuries that now resulted in 5 months of memory loss as well as permanent light sensitivity, sound sensitivity and general dizziness.
Recently due to the heatwave in the UK, a new yet terribly stressful job and 4 months of stress (me and my partner got made redundant in the same week, death in his family, having to move across the UK for his new job, constant fear of him losing his new job and the stress of finding myself a new job) my symptoms have gotten worse and come back to almost as bad as they were when I was recovering for 9 months with a specialist.
I am currently seeing a doctor and getting a referral to the nurologist, will be getting help from head injury charity Headway for councilling and support groups and signed off from working for at least a month but everything is taking a while to get processed and sorted so I am still suffering.
To add to this, I get what my partner likes to called "confused" but basically I seem like I am completely and utterly drunk yet haven't had anything alcoholic to drink. Great example of this was exclaiming "The tomato puppet is in the ketchup!" when I meant that the tomato ketchup was in the cupboard... I'll also just sit there and giggle till I fall over...
So I am avoiding caffeine, heat, sunlight, going out much (just resting), avoiding stress as much as possible and drinking lots but are there any other things that people do to help with their symptoms. | I hit my head a few years back and the symptoms are back but anyone have any great tips and hints recovering from Post concussion syndrome or any other head injury related tips? |
t3_1shzia | relationships | My [M25] ex [F28] and I broke up 1.5 years ago, previously together for 3 years. Her sister is dying of cancer and she's contacted me for support. Not sure what to do | Hey there,
The title sums up the situation. We ended our relationship on good terms and on the agreement that it was a "no contact" breakup. She wanted to pursue her career in a remote area of the country and did not want to move in with me, so we agreed to break it off cleanly.
I found out that her sister had a very serious form of cancer about 6 months ago, and I contacted her sister through email to offer my good wishes in her treatments.
Turns out that the treatments didn't go as planned, and my ex contacted me by SMS that she's terrified of her sister dying. We were exchanging texts yesterday, all on the topic of her sister with me offering support.
I am currently in a very serious relationship, living with my girlfriend. My current girlfriend is very supportive and has no qualms with me helping out my ex.
The issue is: while I care deeply about the well-being of her sister, it's a very odd situation that my ex has put me in, as I'm not really a part of her life anymore. I feel that she should be using her support network of family and friends, not exes, but I'm also not one to turn my back on someone who needs support. What's your take on it? | ex messages me after 1.5yrs to ask for support with her dying sister, I don't know how to help her or why she's contacting me specifically. |
t3_37ct62 | relationships | I [21 M] met a girl [21 F] online 2 weeks ago, yesterday she mentioned that another guy didn't like her back. Not sure if i should tell her i'm interested in her. | Hey everyone, this is my first post on Reddit ever. I usually just read, but not this time.
So here's the deal, I met this girl online like 2 weeks ago. We talk everyday. At first it didn't seem like a big deal, i just enjoyed talking to her. But a couple of days ago I noticed that I was thinking about her way too much, and even waiting around to get a texts from her.
I should probably point out that I don't date a lot. I'm not good at it and I'm really picky with who i like to spend my time with.
Anyway, so I really like her. It was hard to tell if she was trying to be flirty or not, I got a lot of mixed signals. But then, last night, she sends me this message saying that a guy she was going after didn't feel the same way about her. I was really bummed out(probably shouldn't be since this might be an opportunity i'm too dumb to use). I thought that maybe there was a chance she was a little interested in me, but I guess it was stupid of me to think that without asking her.
I guess i'm looking for is an opinion on what I should do. Should i try to let her know how i feel, or just try to stay friends, and not take it any further? What does it mean that she told me about that guy? | I met a girl, we talk everyday for 2 weeks, then she tells me she liked some other guy and he didn't like he back. Should i try to go after her or not? |
t3_23mm9c | relationships | Am I (f23) really too good for him? (m23) | I'll try to keep it brief.
We've been together for two years. My only problem is that I constantly ask myself if I should break up with him.
Everytime we argue, he tells me I'm too good for him and now I'm starting to believe it's true...
He's an extreme introvert and he's depressed. He hates himself and doesnt talk much, I'm afraid that I love the idea I have of him and me...not him. I'm not sure how to figure everything out...We tried taking a break but I couldnt go on without hearing from him because I missed him so much. I cant imagine a life without him but I still think about it a lot.
I have no idea what to do or what im feeling...please help me. Id be grateful for any kind of response thank you.
(sry english is not my native language) | Not sure what im feeling towards my relationship and boyfriend always tells me im too good for him, starting to believe him. |
t3_2wyrlw | relationships | I'm (19F) not sure how often to text people text in a relationship | So I (19F) just began seeing this guy (25M) a couple weeks ago. Everything has been great, but I feel like I annoy him sometimes while we're texting. I know that texting isn't a great way to convey emotion, but I want to know how much is too much?
In my first relationship, my boyfriend wanted to text all day every day and if I didn't text him back he would either resend the message or get upset with me.
The second semi-relationship I had, I had to text this guy by a certain time every day or I would get in trouble with him.
So now, I'm kinda confused and I'm not sure what I should be doing. I have been texting him every day at some point and telling him that I hope he has a good day. He did text me first a couple times, but now I'm worried that he won't because I'm always the one doing it.
The conversations are fine and we get along pretty well, but recent he hasn't replied to a few messages and today he didn't reply at all, so I'm kinda nervous about it.
I'm not gonna text him again because I don't want to make things worse, but I just anticipate the worst because of previous relationships. | I'm afraid I'm annoying this guy by texting him too much! How much do people text in a normal relationship who aren't living together? |
t3_3sb9c9 | relationships | How do I [20 M] talk to this girl [19 F] I never really learned how to talk o women | I'm a 20 year old college student whose biggest problem is that I can't talk to women. I mean I can but I can't talk to women I like. I've asked girls on dates twice in my life and got rejected both time. I could spend weeks talking about past (bad) experiences but I won't bore you with that. Here's my situation.
I've talked to this girl like twice. She's friends with my roommate and when I talked to her, I got some really good vibes, better than I've probably ever had. But I realized that I don't know how to approach or ask her out. Ever since getting rejected, I always had my friends try to talk to them for me. I don't know what to do. There are a couple of obstacles though.
1. I rarely see her. She works at the front desk in the lobby of our dorm but I don't know her hours and so when I go down there I just cross my fingers and hope she's there.
2. If I do see her, what do I say? Can I ask her out? Should I ask my roommate for help with it somehow? I don't want to come off as a pussy.
I really need help with this? How should I go about it? Please help! | I never really learned how to talk to women. What should I do? How should I go about approaching this girl? |
t3_4pl6za | relationship_advice | I (M20) doesnt feel enough love from gf (F20) | Okay so, we have been together for 6 months now and I am a very romantic guy. And the thing is, she is either totally different or just doesnt care. For example she never hugs me NEVER kisses me I am always the kissing her and sometimes her kisses are just so cold. Sometimes she doesnt even bother closing her eyes. Basiccaly every interaction we have is initiated by me. She is sleeping over very often and she just lays next to me and until I wont do something she will just read facebook and watch TV then turn back to my and fall asleep. She wont even come closer or hug me or something. Maybe this may sound crazy for someone, but for me this is a problem. I do all this stuff and I told her everything about how I feel, about how sad I feel when she doesnt show me love and we talked about it a few times but every time she either got upset or just simply said she understands but nothing changed. It really makes me feel like worthless piece of **** when she is next to me and acts like I am not even there. I dont know what to do I dont feel like talking about it with her again because I am just gonna get stuck in a circle. Honestly I have been thinking about breaking up with her but I just feel like I would destroy a relationship with women I could actually marry one day. I have been chasing after her for 2 years. Well, I need a honest advice. Thanks in advence to everyone. | My gf doesnt show me love never hugs or kisses me we talked about a few times and nothing changed. What should I do? I dont know if breaking up si right. |
t3_rouwn | AskReddit | reddit, what should I do about a coworker being inappropriate? | so we hired a new girl at my work, which is a customer service office based work place. I have only been with the company about 8 months, and am technically in a different department than her, but I'm the one the new people go to when my boss isn't around to show them what to do or fix things.
recently she told a guest about some personal things about her (below the belt bodily piercings, etc etc) and the guest told the rest of the staff, who are now all laughing behind her back.
she kind of bugs the hell out of me, but she shouldn't be fired for thinking guests are trustworthy.
basically, should I pull her aside and explain that things like this will get her fired? | annoying new girl told guests about her vajayjay piercing and they told the whole staff, should I tell our boss to talk to her, should I talk to her, or should I let her screw up again? |
t3_mifb9 | relationships | Fiancee is moving to California for an indefinite period of time, having trouble swallowing it. | I'm 28m, she's 23.
We met about the middle of January of this year, I was going through some weird things and my priorities were out of whack so it was difficult for me to commit. We were "seeing" each other, but not quite "dating". About the middle of the summer, I decided to commit, but by then she wasn't into it. After a couple of months we came back together, and realize that we are perfect for each other, though in the time we were apart she had made plans to move to California indefinitely. Not for a career or anything, just for a change of weather (we live in the wintery parts of the midwest) and check out something new for a while.
I support her entirely. Being just a little bit older, I've done what she's doing. I get it, that point in life where you need to get out on an adventure of your own, and I would hate to pressure her to stay and later have her resent me for not going.
We've since talked some about more clearly defining how long "indefinite" is, but she's set on at least a year.
She has graduated college (BS apparel/textiles/minor in art), I have three semesters left (BA sculpture/AA business). I also have a son from a previous relationship that lives in my town and I would be loath to move away from.
I'm not asking if it's worth it, she is absolutely worth it. I just don't know how best to handle this for the highest probability of success, and maybe some success stories. Has anyone experienced a long distance relationship? How long were you apart (time)? How far apart were you (space)? | Fiancee is moving 2200 miles away and I can't go with. Want to make it work but not quite sure how. |
t3_kj6v5 | AskReddit | What is your opinion on exam-sharing? Do you consider it to be a form of cheating? | What would you do if you found out that your classmates were partaking in it?
At my alma mater, exam-sharing was considered to be cheating, so we weren't allowed to take home our exams after they were graded, although we were allowed to look at them.
I'm taking a few extra science classes at another institution as a post-baccalaureate student and it has come to my attention that many of the underclassmen in my classes are sharing and studying the exams that they have received from their upperclassmen friends. It bothers me a lot, because these classes are difficult and having old exams provides a clear advantage in knowing what kinds of questions the professors prefer (i.e. very specific, inconsequential facts). I'm very stubborn with my values and am probably shooting myself in the foot, but I refuse to look at these exams, because I do consider it to be cheating. It provides an unfair advantage against those students who don't have access to these exams.
I know at the graduate level (med school, law school, etc.), it's common practice to get/buy old exams to study with, but I'm not sure at the undergraduate level. I was tempted to let my professors know, so if they didn't know what was going on (it's a relatively new institution) and were against this practice they could help make a more level playing field for future students, although they couldn't do anything about the exams floating around now. But that would make me a meddling snitch and a stick in the mud. Plus, there is the chance that my opinion is not valid. I'm probably just going to put my head down and study harder, but I just wanted to know reddit's opinion. Thanks in advance! | Some kids in classes are sharing past exams they got from their friends. This pissed me off bc I think it's cheating. I want to know your opinion. |
t3_cjvhz | AskReddit | I am looking to make some changes in my life, particularly in the 'employment' category. | OK, here's my situation. I work downtown in a job that pays well. However, I get no sense of satisfaction other than paying off the loans I took out to pay for my education and my car.
What I'd *love* to do is something that tangibly benefits people who really need it, do something that helps others or something that supports a specific agenda such as, for instance, "green energy", education, that kind of thing (I'm relatively liberal) or just something that's really interesting and/or a rare experience.
As a sidenote, I feel I should mention that I currently work in IT (computers). I have grown to fucking **hate** working in IT.
I've been thinking about the Peace Corps and AmeriCorps or teaching English in a foreign country for a year, but would love to see what kind of ideas you guys can throw at me. | I want a job that makes me feel like I am benefiting the world. What are some options you can think of that would give me interesting and fulfilling experiences? |
t3_397qup | Advice | How do I deal with harboring romantic feelings for my boss? And have acted upon it. | Some time ago, my boss and I went out for drinks after work (which already is not a professional move). Well, needless to say, we got a bit toasted. I can barely remember what happened, but I have flashes of memories where we were making out, and I was touching him inappropriately. We have confronted and discussed that day and made it a point that it will never happen again (even though these feelings continue). We both were in the wrong with this. He is married. I am in a relationship. It sure doesn't feel right, but at the same time, if there was no marriage or my relationship, I don't have a doubt we would be together. It's hard to go to work every day feeling the feelings I have. I don't think I can just quit my job because of those feelings, but there has to be something I can do to help this situation. Please give advice reddit. | I have a crush on my boss- we've acted upon those feelings, but stop ourselves. How do I deal with this type of self control? |
t3_3zzzr6 | relationships | Mother [45F] putting restrictions on me [16M] if I need medication. Is she right? | Tomorrow morning, I'm seeing getting a med evaluation for mental conditions. Later, I plan on visiting friends and getting work done for school. Brought this up with my mother so she knows what I'm doing tomorrow.
She said I can't visit friends or worry about school stuff if I do get a prescription, saying I need to be "isolated and stable" if I need any medication. She also stated "OP, you were so much better off before you had a social life". She says this is a long-term thing and she's not joking in any way.
We got into a fight over this and I told that 1) no guarantee on meds and 2) the meds I might get are so I function better and work on my social life and academics better. School used to kick my ass and I didn't have friends growing up, so this is a big deal to me.
What do I tell her? Is she just crazy? | May be getting prescribed meds. Mother isn't gonna allow me hang out with friends or worry about school stuff much if I do get meds. Is she right? |
t3_239u6i | relationships | GF [19F] wants me [21M] to lose weight. I'm 6'4 and 160 pounds. | I love my GF. She's cute, sweet, funny and kind, and I couldn't ask for anything better. But she has some strange preferences.
When we met, I was poor as fuck and working a physically strenuous job. I would be on my feet for 8 hours a day and when I came home all I'd have to eat would be a handful of hot pockets. I weighed about 120-130 during this time. My GF would tell me how she loved skinny guys and how hot she thought I was but I assumed she was just trying to make me feel better about myself, because I couldn't imagine anyone being seriously attracted to my freaky skeleton ass.
I'm now in a much better place financially, and I'm able to eat like a normal person. Over the past year I've gained a bit of weight and now I'm around 160. I noticed that my GF seemed less enthusiastic about sex and had started dropping hints about how she'd like me to lose weight. Teasing me about eating snacks, asking me how often I work out, sending me pics of super skinny guys that she thinks are hot. She didn't do this before.
Last week I bit the bullet and asked her if she found my weight gain unattractive. She answered simply: yes, she did, and she was much more attracted to me when I was underweight.
My first reaction was that that's a little bit crazy.
But I felt guilty. My GF works hard to stay attractive to me. She does lots of cardio, eats healthy, pays attention to makeup and clothes... she even keeps her hair short because I find that attractive. I'd have to admit that if she suddenly gained a lot of weight, my attraction to her would suffer -- but that would be if she went from thin to fat, not from super skinny to thin/average... Either way, I can't shake the feeling that I'm not living up to my GF's standards.
Should I lose weight? | I'm a skinny fuck, GF wants me to be even skinnier. I want to be attractive to her, but is this unreasonable? |
t3_3abmrb | relationships | Me [24 M] with my wife [26 F] of a year, friendship interfering with marriage. | So we've been married a year, and it's been a good marriage, except my wife's friendship with another is constantly causing emotional distress for both of us.
To provide some background insight, my wife has always been shy and introverted. She doesn't have many friends, the few she does have, she sees very rarely. She has one best friend that she spends a lot of time with, let's call her Miriam. So Miriam and my wife have known each other for about 4 to 5 years, and have practically lived with each other prior to our marriage. They spent every day together, did everything together, traveled together, shared a car, shared a bed even. No they're not lesbian, but they're like sisters, very close sisters. I've known my close friends for about a decade longer than she's known Miriam, but I've never had similar issues.
So they spent a lot of time with each other early on in our marriage, but I sat her down and said I felt a little uncomfortable with the fact that she was spending so much time with her friend, even sleeping over her house multiple times a week. She listened and stopped sleeping over, but still spent an unreasonable amount of time with her, probably just as much or more time than she spent with me. I learned to deal with it, and let her do her thing, because I know she's close with Miriam and I don't want to take away pretty much her only friend. Meanwhile I had moved 3 states away to live with my wife and knew no one there. I was also very lonely, and my wife was the only one I could really hang out with or talk to.
Fast forward a couple months, we move back to my home state because of financial reasons, and my wife is calling Miriam every night, spending hours on the phone with her. She keeps bringing up the fact that she wants to go back to her state and work there, and commute every weekend back to my state to spend a day or two with me. She isn't directly saying it, but it's obvious she wants to do this because she wants to be with Miriam, because my state has higher income potential and more lucrative work opportunities. What do I do...? | My wife wants to move back to her state to work and commute every weekend back to my state despite lower income potential and less lucrative work opportunities because she wants to be with her best friend. |
t3_r9t2b | AskReddit | Have you ever seen an accident that looked fatal, but it turned out everyone was OK? I'll start... | A couple of days ago I was in the car with my mum, and at one point we had to go down a very narrow road next to a small canal. There was a lot of cars going slowly on this road, which is usually very quiet. As we come up to a bend, we see a car just on the bank, totally fucked up. Back window non-existent, front window cracked all over, body messed up. There is an ambulance and a couple of police cars.
Later, in a shop, a man told us that a woman had driven into the canal, and the car had only just been pulled out. It looked pretty bad.
Anyway, the next day, my mum shouted "Hoodie92, come downstairs and look at this!". On BBC North West Tonight, was the story. Turns out, a man and his parents were in the car. The son crashed into the canal, and managed to smash a window with a steering-wheel lock, and save his dad. He couldn't get his mum out, but luckily, the fire brigade soon saved her.
In an interview, the son said "I'm not a hero, I was saving the life of people I love. It's the firemen that are the real heroes."
[Here] is a link to the article. | horrific-looking crash into a canal turns out to be non-fatal, and hero son says "I'm not a hero". |
t3_xfov7 | AskReddit | Reddit, I fucked up. I used up $2,500 dollars over a 3 month course of money that wasn't mine. I have no money. I have no idea what to do. I need $1,000 by tomorrow. Any ideas on how I can make this money by noon tomorrow? | Backstory: My dad retired in April and got about $14,000 for a first check. He is currently in huge debt by the IRS and can't keep any money in his bank account. He spent about $7,000 on new cars and such, and the rest he helped me start up a drywall business with. After all this there was roughly $2,900 left. He threw it in my bank account.
We didn't actually start the company until about June. So we haven't had a lot of work. We've made a lot though, but due to it being mostly under the table work we lost almost everything. Back to the $2,900. I wasn't working, I had no real form of income so I did the only thing I could do. I started tapping into it. I have a kid so I put a lot of it towards him. But over this long journey, he has asked for maybe $700-800 dollars which I could give to him.
I can't tell him the truth about the money due to his abusive past and due to the fact I would be with out a home.
I'm 18 so I have rarely any line of credit.
I'm not sick, or dying, or asking for a handout. I just want to know how the hell I can get $1,000 by tomorrow. Legally or illegally. I don't care at this point. | Spent thousands of dollars that weren't mine, now i'm broke and need to give $1,000 to my dad tomorrow or I am without a home. |
t3_2qwjn0 | relationships | Gf 24 broke up with me M 25. Not sure what to do. | Gf moved away in September due to a job, we were going to try long distance and both felt that it could work. Unfortunanlty in Sept her mum got real sick and she moved in with GF. This meant GF couldnt ever see me or talk to me which lead to loads of arguments and resentment for both of us.
Yesturday she called and broke up with me. Im at home with the folks over the holidays and had been looking forward to being home for ages. Now i dont know what to do with myself and really just want to be alone even though i wanted nothing more than to be around my fanily a few days ago.
I also dont know what to do about contacting her. I really really want to but feel like the only way i can move on is if i dont. | Gf moved away in sept, her mom got ill couldnt make the long distance thing work. Dont know what to do. |
t3_18unmq | AskReddit | How do you deal with Apple? | EDIT: why are you downvoting my post and not commenting with advice. thanks guys.
so my friend bought a macbook pro for christmas and within a month the fan started making terrible noises whenever the computer is on for more than an hour, her and i go to the apple store and they conclude by telling us nothing is wrong and to come back if it happens again. ok awesome... so we come back again and they say yes something is wrong with your fan and it is covered by your warranty, come back it pick it up tomorrow. we go back tomorrow and the manager comes out flapping her bitch cannon saying we have to pay 100 something dollars for this bullshit that shouldnt be broken in the first place we say fuck you and leave. now the key board is falling apart, this computer is only used for school, transported to and from class in a case inside a book bag so it is safe. we went back to apple again today and they told us yet again nothing is wrong with your computer.
any advice reddit? | bought macbook, broken fan, apple denies its broken, tries charging us for something under warranty, now keyboard is broken. fuck apple what do we do? |
t3_3c4252 | relationships | Me [M22] with my father [M52] issuing passive aggressive ultimatum threats he doesn't follow up on | I haven't seen my father in 5 years and he invited me and my sister [18] on a vacation in Europe. We're 4 days in and the last 3 days we have had severe arguments that are crippling mostly my relationship with my father.
It usually starts with me saying something like "let me check the umbrella doesn't have sharp endpoints" (when buying an umbrella, checking the one my sis got), or "6 euros for half litre of water? I have some in my bag if we want to use that instead" (ordering at a restaurant, my sis responds that's rude, I say not a big deal we can ask them, father gets really angry and starts raging- says he's done with the trip, that I'm 30x as picky as the average person, that 6 isn't a big deal compared to the whole trip cost. Ive tried telling him that all he has to say is that he doesnt mind the cost without venting at me.
Now I consider myself rational, openminded, and willing to compromise. I have tried so many negotiating techniques but they are not working. He delivers so many 'shut ups' and 'be fucking quiets' that it has been nigh impossible for me to tell him what i was thinking and clarify his incorrect assumptions.
But even for the moments he stays quiet he doesn't seem to understand me, and thinks everything is my fault and defends his temper that way. Once I was helping him confirm that we were on the right subway path and he got super aggravated, saying it doesn't matter if im right, then repeated literally 25 times on the train that he's canceling the trip, then buys us snacks on the way to the hotel and acts normal (2nd day this happened).
Please advise me how to repair this relationship without acting out a fake personality. | prideful and stubborn father constantly escalates nonproblems, little desire to talk rationally about it and shifts all fault to me. |
t3_2m19tw | relationship_advice | Seems as if girl wants to start again after a failed relationship, or just wants to be friends. [M,16] | Me and her dated for two months and two weeks before it ended I found out I was moving (hence the break up). I was there for 2 more weeks after the break up and we had a argument that turned really sour and I left with me and her on bad terms. Well I am moving back and about 3 weeks ago I went there to see good friends and surprise them with the news I'm coming to finish my last two years of school. While I was at the mall I bumped into J (the girl in question). I saw her and thought it would be better to just past by her then start anything. As we crossed each other they started heading to an outlet behind us, there for soling straight towards me and my friends. The girl she was with glanced at me, then quickly looked back surprised. She called my name and J saw me and ran up and hugged me. This was very unexpected and so I just kept looking at her, not acknowledging her friend who had been an classmate of mine that was trying to get my attention. I explained that my family was moving back and she was saying she couldn't wait to hang out and was complimenting me on my outfit and new hair, all the sorts of stuff that I thought I wouldn't hear from her. Her friends says they needed to go and we said bye and I went on my way. Now this could obviously mean she wants to try it again, but it could be her trying to be nice or just friends. So this is why I come to you guys. I am moving back next week and I don't know if I should be asking her to dinner or keeping it at friends. | Seems as if girl is wanting to start dating me again after a failed short relationship, but could just be trying to be friends. |
t3_50o3o0 | relationships | (21M) advice for avoiding emotional attachment to a FWB (20F)? | I hooked up with a friend of a friend at a party last weekend, and I'd really like to keep doing so, but I don't want a relationship from her. I'm very physically attracted to her, but almost not at all personality-wise. All of our mutual friends have been encouraging me to keep things going, but warned me that she cheated on her last bf with another one of her friends (not sure when that actually happened, but she broke up with her bf a week before we hooked up, so I'm a rebound). I'm normally a long term relationship kind of guy, so this would be my first "casual" fling. She's one of those girls who gets off very easily, and is extremely enthusiastic (which I find hot as hell, having been with mostly virgins and dead fish in the past). I just don't want to date someone that A. I will constantly being arguing with over things important to me and B. Has a record of infidelity. How do I avoid developing real romantic feelings for her? Sorry if this comes off in the wrong way | I want to be fuck buddies with a girl who is *not* my idea of relationship material, but I don't know how to stop myself from developing real feelings |
t3_20os3u | relationships | My boyfriend's [M23] ex-girlfriend [F22] won't leave him alone? | (Quick background info: My boyfriend is originally from Oregon, but currently attends school with me in California. His ex still lives in Oregon.)
My boyfriend dated my ex for a total of three years, mostly over long-distance. He was madly in love with her and had every intention of marrying her. The ex ended up breaking up with him twice, both times being extremely mean in order to get him to "give up first." He was emotionally destroyed by this, especially because it happened more than once.
Eight months after their breakup... he meets me. After four months of dating, we are very much in love and he is planning on relocating his whole life after graduation in order to be with me. He says that I'm a higher caliber than any girl he's ever dated and that he's really lucky to have me.
At the very beginning of our relationship, he went back to Oregon to visit his family. His ex heard about me through the grapevine, and ended up professing her love for him, said she regretted breaking up with him (twice!), and that she wanted to get back together. He flat out refused her and felt very uncomfortable that she put him back in that position.
Problem solved, right? Well, he told me that she's been messaging him more and more. She'll send him long paragraphs of text about their "friendship" at two in the morning and will post encouraging messages on all of his facebook statuses.
I can't help but feel bothered by this. He is really frustrated by her behavior, but hates confrontation. Furthermore, though he's not interested in her romantically, he cares about her as a person and doesn't want to hurt her. She "technically" isn't flirting with him, but she's still crossing a line. Everything in his life is fitting together and I'm angry that she won't let him move on and be happy.
What should I do? What should he do? I'm normally cool with exes being friends, but I'm not sure how I feel about this situation. | Long-term ex-girlfriend suddenly regained interest in my boyfriend when we got together, even though she dumped him twice. What is the appropriate way to handle this? |
t3_3rrma3 | relationships | She's leaving? What do I do? | I'm 22, she's 21.
We started ''dating'' about two months ago and it started getting serious.
She's been talking about leaving for England (we live in Sweden) during the Fall of 2016.
Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to ''make it official.''
She said she likes me a lot but she's not really looking for anything serious since she's leaving for England (which is like, 10 months from now.)
She doesn't mean she wants to be fuckbuddies, and I don't want that either. I genuinly like her, but don't know what to do?
Either I (with the exception that we last)
A) Invest 10 months of my life in a doomed ''relationship''
B) Break it off now to avoid getting hurt later?
Other options, opinions or advice are welcome. | girl i'm seeing is leaving in about 10 months, do I break it off now or ''enjoy it while it lasts?'' |
t3_hw1b8 | AskReddit | I've been ripped off by a website, what should I do? | Hey there. I was browsing deals.woot when I saw an open box playstation 3 120gb for 185 dollars on a website called quirpo. I had been wanting to purchase this for a while and figured that I wouldn't be able to beat that price. I was kinda wary due to the longer than expected shipping time (10-12 days!!!), but figured the deal would be worth it.
That was 24 days ago.
Since then, I've emailed the website 3 times asking for details about my transaction with no response. There WAS a phone number posted that I called with no response that has been removed from the site. I've emailed woot, but they were unable to help with any contact information for this company.
When looking for information about this company, it looks like I should have done research first before paying. They had a deal on wiis that they ran through paypal and everyone disputed and reversed those transactions. Then the owner of the site went and claimed that paypal wasn't letting him claim the money so that's why the shipments didn't go out. He must have fixed the problem, because the website ran my credit card transaction directly.
This is the problem. I'm out 185 dollars. I used a debit card for the transaction. I have the owner of the site's name, city, and a phone number that USED to be valid. How can I make him reverse or honor the transaction? | I got ripped off by a website called QUIRPO.COM, I used a debit card and want the owner of the site to reverse or honor the transaction. |
t3_1cvu9c | relationships | I [31m] have been dating my gf [40f] for 2 years and now having second thoughts | So I've been living with my SO for 2 years now, she has an 8 year old son so it's been quite an adjustment for me. It's been great as they've really enriched my life and I love them both, but also I miss my freedom a lot and find myself fantasizing about having my own place lately.Not about other women or anything, just being alone and able to do what I want more often. I know the grass is always greener and all that....
I think she just expects too much out of me, I really sacrifice a lot for them and she doesn't ever seem satisfied, like it's never enough. When I want to do something for myself (video game, dinner at a friends etc.), she always raises some sort of issue with it (she's an only child) and it's unsettling. We've talked about it, she says she needs to work on it, but I don't see it changing anytime soon.
I don't know if I'm just wanting to run from responsibilities or I'm thinking logically. Anyways anyone else been in this relationship limbo and what did you do about it. Appreciate any feedback. | 2 years living with GF and her 8 year old son having trouble deciding if i have grass is always greener syndrome or I need to actually move on. |
t3_4ut69g | Advice | Moving to Melbourne for Family. Job concerns. | A year and a half ago, my parents moved to Australia. They come to visit me here in New Zealand every couple of months and vice versa, but I feel bad being away from them. They're in their 60s, so My biggest fear is that when the inevitable happens, I won't be there.
I graduated from University with a Communications degree in 2014 and I've pretty much been unemployed since. I get some interviews, but extremely rarely pass the first round. I've signed up for a couple of temp agencies, but no luck yet.
I have bouts of depression, but I'm constantly working on myself. I'm currently working on learning web development (Full Stack Ideally, I'm pretty early into it. Inb4 OMG U DONT EVEN KNOW ANYTHING FGT), it looks like a fun way to support myself. There will be more opportunities in Melbourne, sure, but also a lot more competition. Being an immigrant won't help either, even with the treaties our two countries have.
If I work my ass off here while I'm unemployable, I might have enough skill to make a decent living over there. Might. It's a big gamble. I've got social anxiety so making friends will be a big challenge. I considered signing up to a web dev course to make friends/network more easily, but I can learn all that stuff online so it seems like a money sink. Getting a loan over in Aus would be difficult too.
But if I stay in NZ, the market will be a lot smaller and I'll have more time hone my craft. I'm thinking of approaching small businesses and building websites for them just for practice. but at the same time, I might slack off due to a lack of deadline/depression. I'll also be living with my best friend and be in a comfortable environment to create media.
I'm going to bite the bullet and make a decision in December. Two months before my lease runs out. | Parents want me to move to Melbourne from NZ. I'm unemployable at the moment with a Media degree. Training myself in Web Development (Full Stack) |
t3_3b5756 | dating_advice | No idea what's going on | I'm a 17 year old guy and there's this girl who I work with (she's 16) who I've been really starting to like, and our relationship (we're not dating, though) has seemed to have been pretty good up until just about yesterday. Initially when I first met her at work things were pretty awkward, but after about 2 months things picked up for the better. After mid-May I stopped seeing her because of our work schedule, and that's when our relationship with one another seemed to get even better. I got her number and Snapchat and she's always been constantly messaging me through either one. She seems to have a good amount of guy friends but I quickly became her #1 best friend on Snapchat, and her texts quickly went from casual conversations to her asking me personal questions to the point where I don't know what she hasn't asked me. She's even asked me cute stuff like if I like anyone, what kind of secrets do I have, and she's even told me personal stuff about her that I'm not supposed to tell anyone else. She's called me and facetimed me for long periods of time and I could hear her constantly laughing on the other end and enjoying talking to me. We both knew we would both see each other yesterday after about a month and we were both pretty excited to see each other again. Then came yesterday and when I finally saw her, she didn't say hello and barely spoke to me. It seemed as if we had barely known each other despite all the cute and personal conversations we've had, and the last time I saw her she was talking to me a lot which isn't at all like she was yesterday. I've always had ambition to ask her out but after the way she seemed to be so awkward around me yesterday, I don't know if I should even bother. I've never had a girlfriend before and I don't want to mess this up. | Girl I like and work with loves talking to me with cute and funny conversations when we text or call each other but acted really awkward around me the other day in person, no idea what this means. |
t3_1wriqs | relationships | I [23/F] can't bring myself to talk about being raped, and I have to for a MH assessment. | It's an occupational health assessment for a nursing course at university; it's more so they can support you rather than a test you have to pass (although they are making sure you aren't an axe-murderer, obviously) but I'm still unbelievably anxious about it.
I have to admit that I once tried to kill myself (I absolutely cannot lie or get out of it at all) and they're going to ask why, and I'm going to have to explain on some level about being raped by my ex and sexually assualted by some colleagues and CSA for any of it to be "justified" so they can see I'm sane and will be able to do the job.
Every time I think about this, though, I want to just lie down and have the floor swallow me whole. I mean, I could have to talk to some old man, I have no idea who it's going to be, and I had one for my last job where the doc totally felt my boobs, then I had to pay him and I've never felt more like a prostitute in my life.
How the hell can I get through this? I don't think they can reject me if I'm honest and demonstrate that I'm able to function normally, which I totally am, but I have never spoken about this stuff ever and the thought of doing so makes me want to cry. I can't remember the last time I actually cried. | Have to talk about past abuse in order to pass a psychological evaluation, and the thought makes me want the floor to swallow me with shame and fear. |
t3_22nyx1 | relationships | Me (25m) I feel like she is abusive emotionally and physically. Recently moved in with constant arguing. | Been dating almost a year (23f). recently moved in w/ her and I'm not on the lease, agreed to help pay rent. Almost every day we argue about the non-inportant things. Ex. Trash, dishes, cleaning up her dogs shit and piss. She also has a 9 month old baby and I try to be there as much as I can. I'm always explaining my self and constantly defensive. About 3 times in the past few months she choked me, punched and slapped me. I in no way would ever hit her.
.
On top of that she gets verbal and says things to me that cross the line. On top of that controlling and if I don't listen to her demands she fly's off the handle. Sex and romanticism is rare.
So I'm always walking on egg shells. Were not getting along. I want out but don't want to leave her with rent and bills. She is unstable and I don't know what to do. I continue to put my foot down when I need to but its draining me, I'm very unhappy. | GF almost 1 year 23f. Very demanding and controlling. Constant arguing, physically and verbally abusive. Live together and I want out. |
t3_29rjmi | relationships | I F[21] am concerned about my boyfriend M[21] continuously trying to talk to his ex, should I be worried, am I overreacting? | We have been together for over a year and he has talked to her behind my back and lied about it. The conversation did not include my existence at all, he was talking to her while at my house and when she asked what he was up to he would say "hanging out at my house" and despite all opportunities to bring up he was dating me, I was not included at all. He has tried adding her numerous times on facebook, and recently added her again despite me telling him how uncomfortable I am with him reaching out to her because I get the feeling he still has a thing for her. He said he didn't know I would see that they were friends, another hint at him trying to hide more things from me about her. He has friends who are girls that I am fine with, this however bothers me because of how he's blown me off in front of her, lied to me about her, etc. Should i be worried? I am thinking about leaving this relationship because of feeling inadequate compared to her in his eyes. | boyfriend of over a year keeps trying to talk to his ex and never brings up that he's dating me when talking to her. keeps trying to talk to her even though i've told him how uncomfortable it makes me. |
t3_4c1y70 | relationships | I [24M] can't communicate effectively with my gf [22F] | First things first, I'm diagnosed as on the autism spectrum, so interpersonal relationships have an additional sort of barrier because my brain just works differently.
My girlfriend is to my knowledge NT, but also very reserved emotionally.
I just came back from a week abroad, during which our communication was severely limited due to time difference.
I wake up this morning and she's left me messages like "cool talk to you later" and "guess I'll go cry by myself now, thx"
I reach out to her to try and help, but then she accuses me of lying, won't say why she said that, or offer proof. | I get back from international travel, gf is acting strangely, I offer to help and she fights it, won't say if she wants help or wants to be alone |
t3_2581u1 | dating_advice | Need some advice on next step to take. Me [M24], her [F26], first attempt to meet up cancelled. | Here's the situation. I messaged her on POF, interaction went well and got her number. We text back and forth for a few days and I asked what she was doing on the weekend. She says she was busy, doing stuff with her mom. After the weekend I keep the conversation going through text and ask her when she's free to meet up this week. Her reply was Thursday night at 7:30. I pick a kava bar near where we both live and she's excited to go. She's excited to try kava and I thought it would be a good place to meet-and-greet. (It's like a bar/lounge where they only serve kava drinks)
Thursday rolls around and I get a cancellation text from her saying "Hey, I'm leaving work early cause I'm not feeling great. I'm hoping if I sleep for a bit I'll feel better by later but just wanted to give you a heads up. I'll let you know either way though."
Me - "OK, no worries. I hope you feel better!"
Her - "Thank you :)"
On Friday I text "Hey! Too bad we couldn't meet up last night. How're you feeling today?"
No response.
I'm not sure where to go from here. I feel like if I don't salvage the situation it'll be too late and she'll lose interest. What should I say to get a response so I can try and schedule another meeting?
We've never actually met yet and it's almost been two weeks since our first interaction. Once we meet the interactions will go more smoothly but how can I get her to agree to another meet up? | met online, got her number, schedule a meet-and-greet, cancelled for legitimate cause, text next day with no response. What do I say now that will get her interested again? |
t3_3hixrf | relationships | Me [27M] seeing a girl [27F] for about a month, she reconnected with an ex now what can I do to get her back? | Context: Girl I met earlier in the summer broke it off with an ex before the summer. I met her and we both were really planning to enjoy our summer and just casually see each other, not necessarily seriously date anyone. However, our dates were amazing, great chemistry. As we continued seeing each other over about 3 weeks or so she mentioned about how she talked to her friends / family about me. I also began to develop serious feelings for her as well.
Unfortunately, after a few weeks of seeing each other I had to travel regularly for work (mon - thurs) so we couldn't see each other in person for like a month, but we did text back and forth. Then about 2 weeks ago I texted her if she wanted to grab dinner since I didn't have to travel for work. I was totally caught off guard when she told me in the past 2 weeks or so she reconnected / has been seeing her ex and there are still some feelings there. I appreciated the honestly / understood, but was extremely disappointed. The texts ended with us both saying something along the lines of I think you're a fantastic person and that she needed time to figure out what she really wanted. That being said I'm totally fine giving her space.
I now cannot get her out of my mind because if I didn't have to travel for work I think this would never have happened. This has got to the point that I'm now not sleeping well / have been just really sad over the past week. I really want to contact her and tell her how I really felt for her, but I don't want to come off as desperate or anything like that so I've resisted the urge. For peace of mind I did however draft a note where I describe my feelings for her if / when she ever gives me the chance to see her again. I am planning on sending her a friendly text maybe sometime in mid September to see if she ended up back with her ex or not, because I'd really like to date her.
Does anyone have any advice for this kind of situation? | seeing a girl for about a month, she reconnects with her ex and says she needs to evaluate what she really wants. What can I do to get her back? |
t3_1bvv3c | relationships | 31f, because of my husband's 42m actions I'm losing my friends and family | We have been married for almost ten years, and have two children together. Over the past few years, my friends and family members have distanced themselves from us, to the point where some will no longer spend time with us. I know that my husband can be very rude and controlling (eg, dictating where everyone sits when we're out at dinner with friends, playing only 'his' music when we have people over at our house, picking fights with me in public etc.) and I can understand them not wanting to spend time socially with him. However, he will not let me go and spend time with them on my own. He is quite jealous of me.
I asked my sister 35f about this and she told me some rather disturbing things. Namely, that after her husband and mine had had an argument, my husband had then started spreading rumours that her SO had interfered with our children. He then contacted her directly and implied that her husband was cheating on her. What the hell?! Neither of these things have any basis in truth!
One of my other friends recently told me that my husband told them I cheated on him all the time. They figured it was lies, but felt uncomfortable talking to me about it. After I asked him why he would say that, he had a heated argument with them and screamed at them for interfering in his marriage.
He picks fights with me when we are visiting with friends, making it awkward for everyone and has previously abandoned me at other's houses because he was angry. All of this adds up to them not wanting to spend time with him, but he makes it very difficult for me to maintain those friendships due to his jealousy.
There is more, but I don't know how much information to provide. Please ask me if you have any questions. | my husband is rude, controlling and inappropriate towards my friends and family and its driving them away. He won't let me spend time with them on my own. I'm miserable and I don't know what to do. |
t3_2cmze3 | personalfinance | What's better? Do I let a $50 account in collections from 2010 drop off in 2017, or to pay off the account today and have it count as paid (previously in collections) until 2021? | Question is in the title. I've always heard that any account activity on an account will renew the time it takes to drop off your credit report by 7 years. Is this true? Would it be better for my credit history (and credit score) to have an account that was previously in collections show as paid for the next 7 years? Or should I just let it drop off?
Brief overview of delinquent accounts...:
* I C SYSTEM, Report date: 11/23/2010, Amount: $50
* I C SYSTEM, Report date: 4/21/2014, Amount: $1,056
* B&P, Report date: 11/6/2013, Amount: $79
* CMC, Report date: 11/25/2009, Amount: $129 | Is it better to let accounts in collections fall off after 7 years, or to pay them off and show them as paid? |
t3_3i6y84 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [24 F] of 8 months, I can't stop having anxiety/Jealousy over her being unfaithful or leaving me, i don't want to ruin everything. | I love my girlfriend and she has made it abundantly she loves me to the end of the world and back. She has been cheated on before as have i and we have talked about how shit it is and we would never do it. I believe her entirely and i trust her but i have issues with anxiety but ive never had issues in a relationship before. This is different, as i've never felt like this about someone before (and she sees me the same way). My anxiety will always immediately go to the worst possible situation that could ever arise regardless of how unlikely it is.
My last relationship ended because i was depressed and couldn't see the point in anything so i needed to re-build myself and i am happy with who i am now.
I use meditation to help (which it does a lot of the time but its still hard). I don't want to push her away. | I freak out in my head all the time, don't want to be a jealous arse / the woman i love away |
t3_34fmgd | relationships | Me [19 M] found out my gf [19F] of 2 years was drinking with another guy alone and lying to me | Little bit about myself, I am a first-year Uni student and unsure about how to handle this situation. This is my first time posting to reddit.
About the beginning of March this year I was told by a close friend that my gf of 2 years was drinking with another friend of mine (My RA actually). Instead of talking to her about it first, I played detective and saw them coming back from the store together, even though she had told me she went by herself.
I confronted her about all this and we agreed to take a break because I felt I could not trust her and could not know for sure if they did anything intimate. She has been going through a rough patch in her life recently (parents divorcing, her dad married someone else), so I had been giving her space, but I feel as if she took advantage of that space. We were still talking but a week after we "broke up," she went incommunicado and I later found out that she had gone to Memphis (about an hour and a half away from our Uni) with the same guy for the day.
Fast forward to now, we still hang out and talk a great deal. We have had sex about 5-6 times since this happening. I want to get the community's opinion on what I should do and where I should go from here. I don't want to say good riddance to her and just be done with it, but it is very difficult to trust her again. | Found out my gf was lying to me and drinking with this guy alone, we are still friends but I am confused on what to do from here. |
t3_fhlpv | relationships | Badly timed break up - Too late to get it back? | So I'd been seeing a woman for about 2 months and we were laying in bed naked one night. Recently it felt like she'd been cooling on our whole dating thing - so I asked "Do you ever want to just be friends with benefits" and she said yes.
I said something about her leaving in a year (for work) and she replied, "Well in 4 months". This was the first time in 3 weeks that she's corrected that. At this point I panicked and indicated maybe we shouldn't keep seeing eachother.
The next day when I decided that was nuts and that 4 more months with this spectacular woman would be far better than killing it off now - she was uninspired. She jokingly suggested I skip the super bowl to clean her house to make it up to her - and I said no (I'm a Die-Hard Steelers fan and she knows this). Me saying no pissed her off to the point where she basically said no way.
Honestly, if she was going to be around in 4 months, I probably would've done that, but knowing I'd give up the game for something that's just leaving soon anyways didn't make sense to me.
Anyways, is there anything I can do at this point to right this and get her back? I'm worried any advance at this point borders on stalking. We had valentines day plans, and she's always said no dude ever came through for her on V-Day, so I'm thinking of inviting her to still come over for a no pressure date where at the least I can make it up to her. Any suggestions? | Broke up with my gf after sex when she was naked because I freaked about her leaving soon. Next day she wanted me to skip super bowl to call it even. Anything I can do to still get her back? |
t3_4hr6hh | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex [22 F] were together for three years, I still don't know why we broke up | We were dating for 3 years. We had many fights and problems mainly caused by me (70% me 30% her). I don't even know how we managed to start dating to begin with. but regardless of that we did. We stayed together for 3 years. We broke up suddenly but still remained friends and even after almost 2 years of breaking up we still talk on a regular basis over text about our lives.
She now has a boyfriend which at first hit me so unexpectedly. But I didn't care. I rarely felt jealous or acted upon it after breaking up even if I knew she was seeing other guys (She never admitted). For the past 2 years we had small sexual encounters. Jus to know, I was very jealous and possessive during our relationship.
I have been having sex with many girls over the last 2 years, due to the lack of self esteem etc etc. I was going over some old photos and saw naked photos of her/photos that I took, and I just boom thought, this is what I have been looking for with all those girls I was with. None of them stick for longer than 3 times of sex, mainly due to me not showing affection/opening up.
So now I am confused as fuck. I have no idea what is wrong with me or how to fix it. I feel like I am halting my life because something is missing. I think I need closure on this topic and not sure how to reach that. Drop in your advice thoughts. | Dating for 3 years, sex for 2 years on/off. Find out she has new bf, its ok with me. See old photos BAM! Nostalgia, regret and what not. |
t3_3s50bi | relationships | I[32/ M] feel sick and low because My dream partner [33 /F] lives in another city. | Not sure why but I'm using a throwaway.
So a few weeks ago I travelled to another city about 3 hours away for the weekend. I met a girl at a bar and we really hit it off, one of those times when you meet someone and feel like you've known them forever.
Later that night we got separated, I forgot to get her number and didn't see her again.
A few days later I noticed I was thinking about her lot. After an hour or so searching online I managed to find her FB profile and messaged her (what a creep right?)
It turned out she was searching for me too and was really happy I found her!
So fast forward to last weekend I took the 3 hour journey to visit her. It's the best couple of days I've ever had. We got on REALLY great and had a lot fun together. Spending time with her was effortless. A mutual genuine connection. We both expressed disappointment that we live in different cities.
I'm back home now in my own city and I've felt so completely and utterly sad all day so far.
The thought of finding someone so perfect for me and possibly not being able to develop something with them down to distance makes me feel like my stomach has been pulled out.
I feel like I want to drop everything and move to her city.
Should I express how I feel or would it come across as sounding crazy after only spending 1 weekend together? | Fell head over heels for the most amazing women and am afraid that I won't get to build a relationship with her, because distance |
t3_1ippa5 | relationships | Should I message the other woman?? Me (30F) him (32M) married 6 years | I wouldn't be writing this if I wasn't extremely upset and conflicted. I want someone to stop me from doing something stupid!
He left me a week ago after cheating on me. He has been talking to me almost every day of this week, only one day off. Now he's not answering me and I'm getting a little frantic.
He tells me that he has no feelings for this other woman but he has been emailing her on a daily basis and has vague plans to meet up again. He cheated on me twice with her (yes, I know he isn't lying) on two consecutive days. I would almost put this off as a one night stand and be able to get over it, but he's still in contact, and he says he doesn't want to stop.
He didn't even know her before two weeks ago!
I am getting really worried and I want to email him. He says he's getting emails twice a day from her...in that case, I think it's only fair if I email him twice! But I don't want to bother him, or think I'm desperate, even though I am.
I'm worried that if I don't contact him, he's going to forget about me and concentrate on her :( but he hasn't responded to my latest text.
Also...I know something private about him that I really wish someone had told me at the outset of our relationship. I know if I told the other woman about it, she would back off and leave him alone forever. I am so tempted! Sorely tempted. But if I told her and she told him that I'd told her, he would never, ever forgive me.
I just don't know what to do in this situation and I'm so scared and hurt and upset, this literally came out of nowhere, I had no idea he would ever do this to me. I've been crying off and on all week, no sleep, not eating properly, almost threw up a couple of days ago. I know my judgment's fucked.
What do I do? Do I email him? Do I tell her? :( | husband left a week ago and is not answering me, and I wonder if I should email him, and tell his mistress about his dirty secret to scare her off.* |
t3_3elxkp | tifu | TIFU by eating a piece of pie. | This weekend I decided to treat myself to making a home made cherry pie, the way my mom has ever since I was little. All this week I've been feeling nostalgic for whatever reason, thus leading me to this brilliant Walmart buying fresh cherries and some sugar. After shopping for the ingredients needed, I proceeded home, ready to make the pie. I knew it would take awhile, so I went ahead and started dinner as well. Fast forward to cutting myself with a pair of scissors trying to get the damned bag open for flour. Continue on, after dinner, and myself going to take a bite of the pie. Now, I must put it out there, I'm not the most observant person you'd meet. As soon as it landed in my mouth, I knew I fucked up. It was the saltiest, nastiest thing I've ever tasted. I keep my salt and sugar in jars, labeled. But I was dumb enough not to realize which was which. And I'm the type of person with a weak stomach, let alone, a major dislike of salt. So knowing myself, I'd be dry-hurling in the bathroom, and viciously scrubbing my mouth with toothpaste for an hour. I can say, my husband got a laugh. But did I? Hell no. | I intended on making a home made cherry pie but ended up adding salt instead of sugar, much to my dismay. I also cut my hand trying to open the flour. |
t3_3op3ol | relationships | Me [28M] with my GF [28F] of 8 months, are in an open relationship, yet I can't stop lying about sleeping with other people, why? | I am really frustrated about my behaviour and would like some opinions. The situation is that my gf of 8 months and me are open and caring about each others needs and wants when it comes to sex. When we've discussed this we've come to the conclusion that it's okay to sleep with other people. The only thing my gf asked is to tell her about it and I don't know why, but I can't do it!
I've slept with some people after we agreed on this but when she's asked, my first reaction is to lie, which means that I betray her confidence yet feel very guilty. Something inside me is telling me that telling her will hurt her even if she says it won't.
She's had low self esteem before but has rediscovered a lot about her during the last couple of years. I love her and it's breaking my heart that I have these trust issues. I was neglected as a child and I feel that when I show my true self, the one that gets swept off his feet as soon as someone gives me attention, she will understand that I'm too insecure to be with.
She is the best partner I've ever had and I don't know why I'm doing this when she's given me the green light, why do I feel the need to lie?
Sorry if this is rambling, I appreciate any thoughts. | we are in an open relationship where it is okay to sleep with others if you're honest about it yet I can't stop lying about sleeping with other people |
t3_1rvkya | relationships | Me 27 F with my boyfriend 34M of 6 months caught me cheating on him but I can explain. | I cant get the line spacing correct my apologizes
We were watching foot ball when I received an Imessage text on my Ipad from a guy named bob. There has been some history with bob and I and my boyfriend isn't crazy about him. My boyfriend went on my ipad (which didn't delete any of my text that are deleted on my phone) when he saw the text and reread our conversation and he found out that I had invited bob over for sex.
I feel horrible about this and I truly don't know what to do. My boyfriend is acting up set but not as upset as I would imagine however he is the type to hold things in and beat himself up over it. And I truly don't want that.
At the time is that I had stopped taking my medication for bi polar and had a slip up/ episode and slept with bob while he was at work. The next day I totally felt remorseful and went straight to the pharmacy to get my pills. I never told him because I knew it would hurt him and its totally out of my character to do so and I was working on putting it behind me.
My boyfriend doesn't know that I have bipolar actually no one knows that I have it besides my mother. I keep it to my self take my pills and everything is good. But I fucked up and I cant imagine telling him this because im not sure how he would feel about it.
Im just so nervous and I don't know what to do he isn't really saying much I know he is hurt and I wish I could tell him the truth but I feel like that would make me so venerable I don't know if I could mentally handle it.
Lastly I just want to state that Im sorry I did this and I wish people could understand that it wasn't really me doing it although I take full responsibility. | Cheated on my boyfriend however I have Bipolar and stopped taking my medication and had an episode ( boyfriend doesn't know about the bipolar) |
t3_1a70bs | relationships | I [M/18] think my girlfriend [F/17] is aggressively fan girling and I quite frankly don't know what to do-- | Hello Reddit and a quick brief-- I [M/18] recently got into a relationship [F/17] about three months ago so I understand of the following: things can go south very abruptly, I am very young-- and I shouldn't have such developed/ extreme thoughts in regards to relationships, and among other things... However, I have the pleasure to say she is easily the most beautiful woman I've ever met thus far-- and to top it off after, I have this irrational fear of losing her because so. Roughly about a few weeks ago, after Valentines, I've noticed a decline in conversation (which wasn't much to begin with) because she's been occupying her time watching Supernatural... all day... Moreover, whenever we hang out or we do talk with what little time we have, it's flooded with just that. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind talking about her show at all! --- but I can't help to feel a little neglected. I've had a bad string of neglect in past relationships so I'm a bit sensitive in the matter. She also mentioned she's going to continue this behavior with other shows. I know it sounds Absolutely ridiculous to ask for help but, what should I do?-- wait it out until she's up to date in terms of latest episodes or openly make note of it to her? | My girlfriend is aggressively fan girling about Supernatural and I currently feel unimportant all of a sudden-- should I wait for her to finish or mention it? |
t3_xychm | relationship_advice | [25/m] Confused on how to help a friend (24/f) | So. I've recently developed a friendship with a co-worker. She has a boyfriend (33), who is the father of her son (2 years old). She is home with the child while the Boyfriend is at work, and works limited hours around his work schedule (20-30/week).
Issue: He's a controlling douche. I've mostly hung out with her at work, and outside of work two/three times. The outside of work events have been with Myself, our mutual friend J(Female, who i'm openly persuing), the troubled friend, and her child. She only says that she is with the mutual friend J, because each time her boyfriend loses his mind with jealousy + anger, accusing her of cheating, refers to her with a wide variety of general insults, does the slam doors, break things, hit wall routines.
She told myself and J that her best day since moving to the town (1.5-2 years ago) was tuesday, when we all hung out for the day and wandered around to parks/fields/etc.. This crushes me inside, and makes me feel powerless to help. She's reluctant to leave for the child's sake (two parents), for her own ($), and because of few friends and options around.
How do I help? Is there anything I can do other than offer to be around if needed? | Friend has controlling dick Bf. Doesn't see a decent way out. How do I best help without making things worse? |
t3_2wteq9 | relationships | Me [26 M] with girl that I'm dating [21F] for 2 weeks, says that she's gonna hang out with a friend she hasn't seen for 6 months. | So this girl i'm dating for about 2 weeks, tells me she's gonna hang out with a friend that she hasn't seen for 6 months.
She tells me she doesn't wanna go because 'it's cold', but because she always tells him 'no' she should go this time.
Asked her if it was friendly and she said 'yup'. I told her she should go if she wants to go. This was at 21:30PM so I found it a weird time to be hanging out with a friend. She decided to go and texts me at 01:00 AM that she's home and they watched a movie together.
She told me she knows him through a gf and school 4 years ago and that he has a girlfriend.
Should I be worried? | Girl i'm just dating for 2 weeks, tells me she's going to hang out with a guy that has a girlfriend. Should I be worried? |
t3_207f0h | relationships | I (27m) like her (23f) but I've never had a major relationship before. Help me decide this now so I can either try before its too late or stick with being friends. | I've just recently began spending time with someone I've known since I was in middle school and her mom was my teacher. Until recently she's always either been too young or in too distant social circles. We've taken a couple hikes together, spent lots of time chatting about nerdy things and just trying to learn how our newfound status as college grads is going.
She's very sweet and I know we share a lot of common interests but I've just recently began allowing myself to pursue relationship again now that school isn't a primary focus. I've dated but never had any sort of official relationships. I have a history of being friend zoned, used, and lied to by women I've previously pursued. So there is still some lingering lack of confidence, despite being better today than ive ever been before.
We just today, along with her brother and old friend of mine, discussed our few past relationships that went bad or crazy. We talk about how were just not sure well find anyone decent again or feel chronically single.
In the end I'm left with a decision to make soon, I feel. Own up and ask if she thinks we could date, or settle in and just be happy I have rekindled a friendship.
What should I do?
Thanks in advance to those give helpful advice. | I like a girl I just started spending time with, but have known for years. I haven't had a girlfriend despite my age and dating. Should I go for it or not? |
t3_17a523 | travel | Summer Holiday for 5 guys after finishing school. Any ideas? | Ok, so basically. Being from Ireland, I'm not too climatised to warm weather and would like to experience this. So for finishing school, a few of us are planning to go on a holiday together to get all the satress of exams ran out of us by means of Alcohol. What better way to do it abroad? (:
So we were looking for somewhere with a decent nightlife, beaches and somewhere cheap enough to stay.
We were hoping on staying out of some of the more clubber filled areas such as Ibiza and Magalouf and the likes. Just somewhere we can meet a lot of nice people and have a good time whilst also getting wasted and what not (:
Our budget would be around 500 each. This would have to include Flights, Accommodation and everything else pretty much.
Any help would be so well appreciated (: | 5 guys want to go somewhere warm after school, not too full of people but with enough nightlife. Budget around 500. |
t3_2xhhkg | relationships | [23f] My Boyfriend [23m] Broke Up with me Because I'm "Abusive"? | My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and this morning he broke up with me, he claims that I'm abusive and stuff, when I have never in my right mind laid a finger on him. When I'm drinking I sometimed start arguments with him and get aggressive, like hitting him and stuff. But afterwards I always feel like crap and I apologize and he says it's okay. So it's a shock to me that he's breaking up with me, after nearly 3 years of dating, when he said that it's "okay". I'm completely heartbroken now and I don't have any idea what to do and I just want him. | My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me for hitting him while I was drunk. I want to stay together. |
t3_49iikh | relationships | My (22M) girlfriend (20F) is an ex prostitute... | Hey.
This is very hard to talk about but I need to vent. Two days ago, my girlfriend from 6 months told me the bomb truth. She has been a prostitute since her 15 years old and so for 4 years.
Context. Her parents were abusive and throw her out at 15. She had no revenue and she got this "opportunity". She had no choice than to accept. She stopped this activity 2 months before ze got together, just as we started dating.
I just don't know how to react about it. I'm glad she talked to me about it because it means we have a trust relationship, and to be fair I don't care about her past. What matters is our present and our future, together. We're both Soul Sisters and we plan to move on together in may and we even speak of marriage a bit later on (and who knows, maybe a child).
We really love each other. The problem there is that she gave me all the details, the fact that she was giving BJs a lot for money, that she had threesome and stuff. And I'm not dumb. She probably has been raped sometimes. I saw her sometimes with big contusions. She told me that it happens (very rarely) that she met ex-client in the street and stuff and she's afraid to walk alone at night. We don't live in a big town. I want to leave with her, to take a fresh start but we're still in college so no money... I'm also afraid that our sexual relations change because of that. I can't stop thinking about this and my stomach hurts.
Also I'm in an internship in a foreign country right now. I'm coming back every two weeks but I honestly won't survive if something happens to her, to us.
Now she's also worried about me going to see other girls because of the distance. She has trust in me but she is still a bit afraid.
What should I do ? What can I do ? How do I reassure them ? How can I succeed to change my life, with her of course ? How to reassure her ? I'm lost... Sorry it's a bit of a vent but I needed to talk... | GF was a prostitute because no choice and now has doubt about all the men, even me. I want to reassure her and to live happily with her but I don't know how to. |
t3_39d6f8 | jobs | I'm 12 months away from being blacklisted by my employer | Apologies in advance for any formatting/factual flaws - serial lurker here.
Reposting from another sub because this overlaps several topics - hope I haven't broken etiquette.
**Situation**: I've been accepted into a full time program out of town and was about to hand in my notice for a sabbatical. My manager offered to pay for *all* of my expenses.
**The "offer"**: My boss sent me a simple email that did not list any conditions. He fast tracked all the logistics but danced around the administrative shit, knowing I'd ultimately go with the flow.
**Issue**: I hate my toxic work environment and see myself leaving as soon as possible. I've been subjected to and witnessed a LOT of unprofessional behaviour from the people in this company (who did not face disciplinary action). There is a huuuuuge tolerance for inadequacy, politics, cost savings > quality, overworking and underpaying by industry standards, zero transparency in performance management...I could go on but you get it by now.
I'll start a new position when I return - situation could improve or worsen. Most arrangements of this sort clearly require the employee to remain employed with the company for 1-5 years. HR policy has nothing on this. | Here's me being a greedy motherfker: take an all-expenses paid school trip, return to toxic workplace for 6-12 months, find a happy job and peace the fuck out. |
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