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t3_504n4r | relationships | Was she right in breaking up with me? | I (25/m) went away with my close friends to a holiday house in April, one of the nights I went to bed early and woke up to one of my female friends asleep next to me, turns out after I went to sleep she came and passed out next to me. There were also two other people sleeping in the room, and I genuinely had no idea she was there until I woke up. I didn't think much of it, didn't take it seriously and just went on with my day.
When we came back, me and my girlfriend (20/f) were sitting along with my other friend, and my friend brought it up briefly. I'd completely forgotten about it. My girlfriend was slightly annoyed however I still didn't explain it to her, two days later she brought it up, we argued and she broke up with me. Saying I'd broken her trust and that I should've told her. But I didn't even think much of it, which I've admitted waa stupid and apologised multiple times to her. I promised her I wouldn't let that happen again and that I'd be more careful and tell her every small thing, but she still left me. We were together for a year, were extremely close and hardly ever argued, perfect couple you could say. It's been 4 months, I'm still trying to fix it but she won't have it. Should I accept that I completely messed up and move on? Or is she over reacting? She knows I love her more than anything. | my girlfriend broke up with me because a girl passed out on the same bed as me while I was asleep and I didn't think of telling her. Was she right? |
t3_4uhplk | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 3 years, Is it safe to marry my first? | My (20M) girlfriend (22F) and I are thinking about marriage. I absolutely love her and we fit together so well. Obviously we've had our ups and downs, and I've seen her at her worst and best. I think I'm ready to marry this girl.
However, she is also my first girlfriend. I'd had ample opportunities to date other women before her but never really found them worth the time. I guess you could say they weren't my type. I never really saw myself with a girl long term before her.
I don't particularly care to sleep around with many women and I'm completely in love with this one. However, one of my friends did mention that you should date around before settling down and that you should always leave your first girlfriend. Is it safe to marry even though she's my first and I don't have much dating experience other than her? There would be no other reason for us to break up other than this.
I would love to hear opinions from people who have dated around and people who have married their firsts! | Should I not marry my girlfriend because she's my first even though we're completely happy and nothing would make me consider this otherwise? |
t3_exir0 | AskReddit | Would this work to increase the likelihood of a lucd dream? | I thought of this while half asleep in the middle of the night. A quick Google search didn't come up with anything exactly like this.
Reality checks are one of the best ways to become lucid. I've been doing them about four times per day when my phone tells me to. I mostly check the time and check it again, since it worked once or twice a while ago, with no practice. It's been a few weeks of trying to make this a habit, but I don't think a reality check has popped up in a dream yet.
What if we set a distinct sound to play at various times every day, which would alert us to do a reality check. We would then have the sound play a few times during the night, which should trigger the reality check habit more efficiently than just hoping our dream selves decide to do it on their own. The sound should probably be gentle enough to not wake us, but loud enough to hear in our dream world. I mean, we can sometimes hear "real" people or alarm clocks in our dreams, so why not use this to our advantage? | Everytime you hear a specific sound, do a reality check. Play sound at night, hopefully continue the reality check response in your dream. |
t3_ynt0n | relationships | My girlfriend [20] and I [19] will have been dating for one year next month and I want to hear some ideas! | Our one-year anniversary will be in September, and while it's not a huge deal, I would like to make it a special day for her. We usually do something little on the day of our monthly anniversaries like getting dinner. We're both in college and don't have tons of money, so I'm wondering if you have any ideas for a cheap, nice day for our anniversary.
I've got a couple ideas myself, but I'd love to hear something I haven't thought of. Think I might get her a massage from Groupon, know she'd love that. And probably take her to get Olive Garden to go and take her on a picnic with some flowers, etc. at her favorite park. I also just saw something on Facebook where for the same occasion, a friend of mine had purchased a plaque on the pedestrian bridge in our city and put their initials on it. It's kinda cheesy but it's a place where we spend a lot of time together. (Fun fact, it's the longest pedestrian-only bridge in the world) | I've got an anniversary that's mildly significant and I'm too lazy to think of something to do myself. And I'm also poor. |
t3_11rj2u | relationships | F34, M24 need survey similar to mojo upgrade but for all areas of relationship compatibility? (finances, communication, chores, etc.) | The Mojo Upgrade questionnaire was such a great starter for my SO and I to begin communicating more about our sex life.
Is there something else that is more inclusive (covering other areas -- communication, expressing love, resolving conflict, and other cohabitation concerns)?
My SO has suggested we try cohabitation in about 6 months. I feel like this is a huge step and would like to address potential problem areas before progressing. Both of us are divorcees. Both of us are fairly liberal and agnostic (thus a traditional "premarriage counseling questionnaire" covers some topics, like religion, that have no bearing on us, yet omit other areas that do -- recreational drug use, handling visitation of children, etc.).
We met through a dating website. While those questions gave me insight into some things about my SO, I want to address more specific areas. I'm not sure what to ask and would love to find an existing questionnaire online that could spawn some serious discussion about our relationship and cohabitation.
Any suggestions? | need a questionnaire like mojo upgrade and/or a pre-marital counseling inventory that is not conservative or religious in nature that my SO & I can use to plan for cohabitation |
t3_2o0z8p | relationships | Long-time girlfriend (32F) turned asexual two years ago, what should I do (33M)?**tl;dr**: 12+ years of relationship plus 2+ years of celibacy, spouse turned completely asexual. | We've been together for more than twelve years, the relationship started well, we had quite frequently sex at first (naturally), but the decline has always been more steep than I think it should be. After a decade, it stopped altogether and I've been celibate for about two and a half years now.
I don't think she's having it anywhere else either, her trouble has always been that she's a bit clingy and unconditionally loving. Thing is, she's from quite conservative family and has been a loner as a teen. She hasn't ever masturbated, hasn't ever been even interested in sex or sexuality or even curious about those things. She's very intelligent but quite naive in some ways. Somehow she sees most sexual things as unpleasant and even disgusting, even though she claims she likes sex itself.
I've coped by throwing myself into work and I'm in process of changing careers at the moment, but since I've heard two of my very best friends describe their relationships, I'm starting to think that perhaps this isn't going to work at the long term. I've been feeling that I'm the only one who has been trying to keep things fresh and worked to better our relationship. She's been extremely busy with work and her hobbies, which I've supported wholeheartedly.
Trouble is that we've got property together and we're running a very successful business as partners, no children, though. Her skill set guarantees a nice and steady job, but I'm more invested in the company and still a couple of years away from graduating from my new career in medicine.
I really like her personality and she's not esthetically displeasing either and I'm not sure I can take this much longer without getting really depressed or something.
We've talked about seeing a couple counsellor, but I really don't see how it would benefit, I think she would benefit more from personal therapy. | 12+ years of relationship plus 2+ years of celibacy, spouse turned completely asexual. What to do? |
t3_xn8ff | relationships | Too Good to be True? Or am I over-analyzing this? | Well, I'm 20 (f), and my boyfriend is also 20 years old. We've only been dating for 5 months, but we've know each other for over 2 years as friends.
Anyway, the thing is, I really like this guy. I mean, there is some serious long-term potential here. I trust him completely. He knows all my secrets, and I know his.
Now, despite our relationship going swimmingly, I worry about a number of things almost constantly.
1. He's more than just my boyfriend; he's my best friend. I tell him everything. I'm worried that maybe I'll wind up over-burdening him with my problems. I also hardly spend any time with anyone other than him because I'm really antisocial, and he's the only one I really trust. I find it extremely difficult to make and maintain friendships. I'm a bit of a loner.
2. I find myself constantly checking my email to see if he's messaged me. It's not that I'm worried he's ignoring me or that I'm upset when he hasn't emailed me. It's just that we communicate so frequently that it's become a habit to compulsively check my email unless I know my boyfriend is out and won't be near a computer. Am I an OAG?
3. I'm so afraid that I'll mess this up. I've had problems in the past (been hospitalized for depression, lived in a half-way house for a while, moved out at 18, dysfunctional family, etc.) and even though I'm well now, I'm always worried that if ever I spiral down into the deep dark pits of despair again, I'll either hurt or lose my boyfriend. He makes me so happy, I worry that one day I won't be able to make him happy in return... | Now that I've found someone I think I truly love and want to be with, I'm starting to worry that I'll mess it up and lose him. |
t3_12aiii | Advice | How do I become more independent? | I've always seen myself as this carefree, independent, and fun person who does what they want when they want. It hasn't been until recently that I've noticed how much I rely on others to get myself to go anywhere or do anything. I'm an incredibly selfish person who refuses to do anything productive for myself.
I want to blame this whole situation on me not having my own car or vehicle or a license to legally drive one, but I know there's more to it than that. True, I can't go anywhere without someone there to escort me making every event I go to virtually impossible for me to enjoy by myself; but over the years I've developed this psychological need for an escort. Me getting my license and a car is only the first step, but I already know that it's not going to solve my problem directly. I need to grow up but I don't know how.
Currently, I work full-time. I attended college for three semesters but failed every single one. I'm looking to go back but I don't have any future plans for myself. I've talked myself out of each one because I'm convinced I'm a fucking failure.
So...what do? | How do I grow the fuck up and start living my life for me rather than waiting on everyone else to do these things for me? |
t3_4mwk5x | Dogtraining | house training a stubborn pup | I need advice. Our pup is 7 months old, we got him when he was 4 months. However, due to not being fully vaccinated and being sick when we first got him, we were told by our vet to keep him indoors until he was better and fully vaccinated. We live in a city with many dogs, so I can understand. Unfortunately, this led to him being only able to go on a potty pad. He only goes on the potty pad despite me hovering over him every minute after eating or drinking trying to take him out. He's on a strick feeding/drinking schedule. And I do watch him afterwards. As I'm typing this now, it's been almost 3 hours since I fed him and he drank and he still hasn't gone. He's napping at the moment but it's close to bedtime and I need him to go. There are times where as soon as we get back in, after yet another failed attempt, he bolts to his spot and just whizzes. We tried crate training... he pees in his crate. every. single. time. Everytime. Even though he would eat and drink in there too and all people can tell me is that "oh dogs aren't supposed to eliminate where they eat and sleep." Gee thanks. I've tried collecting his urine and marking spots outside for him to go. I've tried taking his soiled potty pad with us outside. I've tried those attractant sprays. Can you all see why I need help? Any advice? Please don't steer me towards crate training again. I know people everywhere say it works, but read above. He pisses in it every time. We've gone through so many dog beds, pads, and blankets because of it. And despite eating and playing in there, he eliminates in his crate. Now that we have him in a penned off area, there are times that he drags his pee pad next to his bed and sleeps next to it. Like WTF. Please help. | need to transition my dog to eliminate outside rather than use potty pads, crate training and other methods don't work. |
t3_z6c64 | AskReddit | My boyfriend's home-city is trying to tax him for years he hasn't lived there, any advice? | So, reddit, my boyfriend is in a slight jam and needs some advice.
We came back to his hometown, Cleveland Heights, for this labor day weekend to attend his grandmother's funeral. While sitting down for a nightcap he noticed he had mail, and proceeded to open a surprising letter. His city had subpoenaed him to city hall to explain why he was delinquent on city taxes for the years of 2009 and 2010. The thing is, though, is that he wasn't even living or working in the tax-demanding city in any of those years. He was somewhere about 300 miles south in another city, Cincinnati, attending college and working towards a bachelor's degree. He then moved with me to New York and then back to Cincinnati. So for those years he was nowhere near living nor working in Cleveland Heights, yet they are still subpoenaing him for tax delinquency.
He tried to take care of this a couple months ago by having Time Warner Cable send a proof of residency via his utility bills, but apparently it's "against company policy" to resend those records. At this point his mother said she would take care of it as she thought it had something to do with claiming him on her taxes, but it might have slipped her mind because it was never mentioned again. I think she was supposed to call them about it and may have forgotten.
BUT, and this may be a big but (wer're not sure), the date he was supposed to appear at city hall was yesterday. Due to him actually living and carrying out his life in Cincinnati, he was unaware of this requirement until about half an hour ago. The letter didn't state what would happen if he didn't show up, so we're unsure of what the weight of the subpoena actually was.
So, reddit, has anyone else dealt with a similar problem? Any advice? Should he lawyer up? Or should we just avoid Cleveland forever? | Cleveland Heights is trying to tax my boyfriend for years he didn't live there, and got subpoenaed to city hall but was unaware until the date had passed. Advice? |
t3_13t7sv | AskReddit | What subreddits are you proud to be banned from and how did it happen? | I was browsing /r/shitredditsays because I hadn't been since the apparent feminist takeover and I saw the thread below
Now I thought the post was pretty justified so I went to check out of the comments and I was surprised to see everyone saying not allowing unintelligent parents to have children is eugenics! Eugenics means only allowing people of the same race or physical traits to breed; saying stopping stupid people from breeding is eugenics is saying people are smart or stupid because of their race. I post and try to correct people and within just a couple of minutes I'm banned.
After reading through some more of the posts and seeing all the inane comments that get upvoted there (apparently using "gay" to mean something awful or undesirable isn't a correct usage, despite what the oxford of cambridge dictionaries say, and it's only used that way by straight people to keep gays down) I can say I'm quite happy about my ban. Not being allowed to disagree with a group of irrational people means you're saying right! | Bastion of internet morality SRS is being what I thought was unintentionally racist. Tried to point out why it was racist, got my first subreddit ban. |
t3_1u3xq6 | relationships | I [23 M] thought doors were closed with one of my best friends [23 F] ... | Hi, this is a throwaway because too many people know me by my regular one. Also, I'm new to this sub so if you would like to point me to another thread or resource that is fine.
Here is my story:
I have known this girl since the beginning of high school, but always marked her as off limits in my head. Then we went away to college and only saw each other on breaks.
She (and a friend) made the 6 hour drive to visit me at school my last year. It was great and I realized I still had feelings for her. However, 6 hours and one time zone was sort of long distance and I didn't feel it was fair to her to express my interest.
Fast forward one year. I moved out of my home region (2500 miles away) and figured that was the end of that. Then a month ago I find out she is moving out here too (2.5 hour drive away)! We spent the past weekend together catching up and I realized she makes me feel like I've never felt around someone before.
Now I feel I need to tell here my feelings or I am going to explode. I think she has feelings for me but I can't tell for sure. I'm afraid of complicating/ruining our long friendship and fear that even if asking her out works out, if things go south I may lose one of my few really good friends.
How do I do it without making things awkward? Should I even do it/is it fair to her? If I do it, should I wait till I can see her in person? Any advice is appreciated, I am really lost here. | I have feelings for one of my best friends, how can I (as a shy/awkward guy) express this without ruining everything? |
t3_2l49lb | relationships | My friend [21/F] asked me [19/M] to move in with her | We go to the same college, and we worked together over the summer, and still do - although we don't work the same shifts anymore. We became pretty good friends over the summer, and talk or hang out fairly regularly. I didn't see her as anything more than a friend for a while, because she had a boyfriend, but lately I've been slightly contemplating whether or not I was interested enough to ask her out. We went to a work party a couple weeks ago, and - although we were both pretty drunk - there was a lot of time where we basically had our arms around each other while we were hanging out at the party talking.
Anyways, we were texting today about something unrelated - football - and kind of out of the blue she asked me if I was renewing my lease for next year. I'd already signed it, because I had plans to live with my roommates, so I told her I had, and she responded that she was going to ask if I wanted live with her next year.
Honestly, this just totally blindsided me. Not in a bad way, because honestly if I didn't have any plans for my housing already I wouldn't mind living together, but because I honestly can't tell if there's anything more than just friends in it. She's often a bit flirty around me, but I can't really tell because my experience with women is pretty much zero.
So - should I read anything more into this than just a friend who needs another roommate? | Friend asked me to move in with her next year, not totally sure if it's just platonic or something else. |
t3_4i1r7y | relationships | GF (31) of 3 years broke up with me (M 32) in February. She met someone and is getting married next month. | She says she met the guy 2 weeks after we broke up. They got engaged in April and are getting married in June. I honestly believe her about meeting him 2 weeks after we broke up because a couple of my friend's spouses were with her when it happened. There's also really no reason for her to lie about it since it would actually make more sense and seem a lot less crazy if they knew or had been seeing each other before hand.
Anyway, this is hitting me hard as hell. We didn't have a bad break up. We were different in a few ways and those differences just became too much for her. She said they she knew she probably couldn't marry me, even though she had been pressuring me to marry her for the last year or more, and broke up with me knowing I had planned on proposing to her soon. We were living together at the time. She has two little girls from a previous marriage that I was really close to, so this break up has been like losing my best friend and my entire family in a car crash or something. It has been very traumatic.
I was just starting to get over the break up and starting to enjoy life again. Then she hits me with this emotional atom bomb by marrying a guy after 2 months of knowing him. All the depression that I had got over is slowly creeping back in. I'm concerned about her, her kids, and I'm just sad about the finality of losing her for good. Posting this out there in hopes that someone can help me make sense of all of this. | Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me in February, met someone 2 weeks afterwards, and is getting married in a month. WTF? |
t3_234bz0 | offmychest | I got in a fight defending my brother and liked it. | These guys at my school were fucking with my little brother, throwing things at him and shit. I went and confronted them, asked them to stop, one said "what are you going to do about it pussy" and pushed me. Another one grabbed my backpack.
I'm short, so they probably underestimated my size (5'4, but I lift weights as a hobby, I'm about 150pounds )
Anyways, after that it seriously felt like my vision went black. I just got on this 6 foot tall dude. Brought him to the ground. Didn't even feel the hits when his friends kicked me in the head. He fell and got knocked out on the wall, everyone backed away except for this one guy who wanted to fight.
Full of adrenaline, I said yes, and proceeded to beat the absolute living shit out of him.
I really really really enjoyed it, assholes got what was coming to them. but I feel terrible. he lost his front teeth (2nd guy). I got suspended but nothing else is going to happen (thank god for security cameras showing I was not the instigator) | I'm a 5'4 dude who beat the shot out of two people picking on my brother. I feel guilty because I enjoyed the feeling. |
t3_4bk3r1 | relationships | Would it be okay if I [22/m] double texted this girl [21/f] | I'm gonna give the full story here. I came to college about 2 years ago. I became best friends with this one girl whom I eventually grew a crush on. After two years of being friends, I asked her about dating one night (both drunk) and she kinda just brushed it off and I just let it go as well.
Well that was a couple of months ago. In the process of being friends with her, I also became friends with her best friend. A couple of days ago her best friend spam liked and commented (very sloppily, i'm assuming intoxicated) on a bunch of my instagram pictures and invited me out to the bar with our mutual friends.
At this point, I figured this girl liked me so yesterday I mustered up my courage and texted her in hopes of asking her on a date to a museum or something. The texts go as follow: none of the names are real
Me: "Jill!"
Her (2 hours later): "Hello!!"
Me 5 minutes after that: "What's going on, are you on spring break?"
no replies since then. she's not the type that's very technologically advanced or glued to her phone like the rest of my generation so it's possible that she simply saw it and forgot about it or something, but i really want to get the chance to ask her out.
So my question is after all this happened, I'm willing to text her and go straight to the point, something like "Hey Jill I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to a museum with me sometime soon?"
Is this awkward, will i ruin a friendship by "not getting the hint?" | girl who i think is interested in me and normally isn't glued on her phone stopped replying to me before i got a chance to ask her out. is it okay to text her again? |
t3_2rdsfi | legaladvice | [TX, CA] transferring a car between family members across states? | Hey there,
Thank you very much for reading in advance. I apologize if I've misplaced this.
My parents have a second car that they would like to gift to me. The catch is that I live in CA and they live in TX, which makes my research on how to transfer really muddled. I am, however, currently in TX for the holidays, so can complete any paperwork needed in person.
Relevant Texas links:
[Transferring to Family]
[Gifting a Vehicle](
Relevant California links:
[Transferring a Vehicle Between Family Members](
[Transferring an Out of State Vehicle](
I initially guessed that I needed to fill out an Application for Texas Title (Form 130-U) and Affidavit of Motor Vehicle Gift Transfer (Form 14-317). But since I'm not a resident of TX, I think that renders the 130-U moot. If I'm correct, would the Form 14-317 take care of everything I need for Texas?
On the California side of things, I am assuming I'd need A Statement of Facts (REG 256) and a Vehicle/Vessel Transfer Form (REG 262) for the family transfer, and probably a Application for Title or Registration (REG 343).
This is all in addition to signing the back of the Title itself at a Texas County Tax Office.
How far off the mark am I? Should I just print everything out and bring it with me to the DMV, just in case? | is: I need to transfer a car's title and registration from TX to CA between family members. What do I need for it? |
t3_1r6zrn | relationships | Me [28F] with my bf [30M] of 6 months, he thinks he's ugly because of girls turning him down in the past. | So I have known my boyfriend for about 5 years but we've only begun dating 6 months ago. When we go out I will sometimes take photos like most people do, but when we go through them later he will rarely like one enough to let me put it on facebook. It's not that he doesn't want people to see we're out doing stuff or anything like that, because he isn't secretive about our relationship at all. He honestly just thinks he looks terrible.
Today I posted a picture of him with my son that I thought looked really good and was really special to me, and he told me it was making him really depressed looking at it because of how horrible he looked. I took it down and was really sympathetic and told him I thought he had some confidence issues and that the photo was really good and that maybe we could talk about why he felt that way.
I thought he was very attractive (which I do) and that there was no reason for him to think that way. This is where I started to get offended... First he said he was sure I was only dating him because he was nice to me. I told him that I don't just date any guy who is nice to me, and that attraction is important, and that I'm not lying when I tell him that I find him attractive. Then he told me he knew it wasn't the truth because girls he had tried to hit on before we got together turned him down, and that's why he is so depressed about the way he looks now.
I feel like he values what these other girls think of him more than what I think of him. I feel bad for him that he has such low confidence, but i'm also getting really sick of these circumstances. I might be looking too much into it but it kind of feels like he is telling me he "settled" for me after these other girls turned him down. | BF says he knows I'm lying when I tell him he's attractive because he was turned down by girls before me. |
t3_i0xqn | dating_advice | Why do guys have a hard time saying they are not interested? | I'm finding my Current dating situation rather frustrating.
Met someone recently, we'll call him B. He is 30 and I am 29. B and I have been on a few dates over the past month. I like him a great deal and would like things to continue. I would really like to spend more time with him. When we are together we have a good time. It seems the physical chemistry is there and we have a lot in common. He acts interested and I believe he is attracted to me. The problem is, when ever I try to make plans recently, he has an excuse to turn me down or cancels plans that we make even if he is the one that suggested them.
I can tell that he is not interested in really continuing. He rarely responds to texts especially when I try to make plans (this hurts my feelings a bit), yet when he does speak to me he talks about wanting to hang out with me and spend time with me. This is all very confusing, and while I am pretty certain he doesn't plan on getting serious, his little comments and attention keep me hoping.
I know I should just walk away if I am not getting what I need from him, and I actually plan to drop all contact on my end and see what happens, but this is my question; why is he stringing me along if he isn't interested? Why can't he just come out and say it? I think it's really selfish and mean to string someone along just so you can avoid the responseibility of ending it, or worse, keeping them around because you occasionally want attention but are unwilling to return it. | Started dating a guy who shows occasional interest but constantly cancels plans and drops contact. Wondering why he doesn't just end it if he's not interested. |
t3_37om63 | relationships | Not sure if I [22 M] will ever fall in love. | First of all: I wasn't sure where to post this. Looked up /r/love, but there are really not the type of persons I want to take advice from. If you think this belongs to another subreddit, tell me, I am happy to go there.
I had three 'real' relationships so far, none lasted longer than 8 month. Slept with several women. My problem is just, that I don't feel the love.
Often the girl is really, really in love with me and I like her. I am like the center of their world. But I don't feel connected, always thinking that I kind of pretend to be a person, which I am actually not.
A little bit to my personality: I am very good and fun in a large group of friends, but once you meet me alone, I get boring pretty fast. I think it's hard for a lot of people to just spend time with me alone. Especially because they assume that I am way more exciting, than I am, because they got to know me in a group where I am very open, outgoing and hyperactive.
I also am diagnosed with ADD and have anxiety attacks, with kind of depression.
There are cases where I kind of fall in love with a girl, but this mostly one-sided and waaaaay to much. Like I feel anxious when this person is not around, jealousy and going crazy. Doesn't feel good.
Do I just have to wait for the right person? Is it part of my development? I really wish to have a person with me, which finds me inspiring and I find her inspiring as well, easy to talk to and which makes me laugh. Sometimes I have the feeling that I had already to many girls, that nothing what I do is special anymore.
Is that kind of love a 'lie' from televison? Am I just young and have enough time to find the right person?
Thanks for reading, I really hope this belongs here. I'm not a native speaker so please bare with my grammar mistakes. :) | Don't feel a connection to my girlfriends, afraid that I will never feel the right feeling of love and I am maybe to boring. |
t3_39dvvq | Advice | Need advice/help finding a place to stay in Los Angeles. | I've put this in r/AskReddit and r/LosAngeles and have been removed from both. I don't post that often so I'm a little out of my element here. Anyways...
So here's my situation. My girlfriend and I have been planning to move to L.A. for the past year. We've saved up a decent amount of cash and found a nice room to rent in Hollywood. Everything was going great until we got to Denver (from Wisconsin) when the guy who told us we had a room to rent, said he could no longer do it. Now we are two people with no jobs trying to rent an apartment in L.A. I'm still in Denver until Friday, but my girlfriend who just got to L.A. tried turning in an application and just got laughed out of the rental agency when she had to confess we were unemployed. She's appropriately freaked the fuck out right now, as am I. It's becoming abundantly clear that we're going to need to have proof of income to get an apartment, but we need some place to stay to get a job. She's a bartender/waitress and won't have any trouble finding work and I have a few leads through family connections and won't have trouble either. We just need a place to stay.
I'm paying for a hotel tonight but we really can't afford to stay more than just a few nights since I'm eventually going to have to drop $2500 or so on first months and security deposit. Hopefully.
Oh and we have a Yellow Lab, it's with me not her, but that makes 90% of the rentals in our price range completely out of the question, along with sublets and overnight stays.
At this point I'm looking for anything. If anyone who reads this knows of a room to rent or seeking a sublet please let me know. We'll pay you what you want but we need something that could last at least a few weeks while we get our feet under us. And if you're worried about the dog just know that he is the absolute shit and he can teach you to love again, or love in the first place if you haven't before. Either way I'll post pictures later if this post goes anywhere. | Me, My girlfriend and Bruce got screwed out of an apartment while moving across the country. Need a place to stay. Will compensate. |
t3_taq68 | relationships | I had sex with the guy who introduced me to my boyfriend and never told him about it. what should I do? | Me (23f), and my boyfriend (21m), have been together for about 2 years; having met through a mutual male friend of ours. About 5 months ago we broke up for around a month. During that time we still spoke a bit, but it was agreed that we were broken up and seeing other people, no questions asked. After that month we ended up getting back together. He told me he had not had sex with anybody, and I told him about a guy I had casually dated for a bit and had sex with. My SO was a bit upset, kind of a knee-jerk reaction I would assume, but everything was fine. What I left out however was that I had also slept with the mutual friend that initially hooked us up. My boyfriend has always been a bit annoyed at this guy throughout our relationship because he believed he was into me, flirted with me, etc. I constantly reassured him that the mutual friend was not a problem because i was not attracted to or interested in him.
I somewhat regret sleeping with the mutual friend because I know it was purely out of feeling lonely, missing my boyfriend, and being drunk. What I'm asking here reddit is, am I in the wrong for not telling my boyfriend about this after we got back together? On one hand I feel like it isn't much of his business because we were broken up and had agreed that we were seeing other people. On the other hand I feel like I'm living a lie, the fact that he doesn't know something like this happened while we were apart.
I should also mention that I work with the mutual friend. Everything is strictly platonic between us, and not at all inappropriate. That night isn't mentioned or talked about between the two of us anymore. | Me and my boyfriend broke up for a month, during that time I slept with a mutual friend whom he's always not liked. Never told him about it after we got back together. Am I in the wrong? |
t3_1wgbma | relationships | I [18 M] have trouble getting over a girl [18 F] who both share feelings for each other. Recently agreed to not start a relationship, and I am "attached". | I've been talking to this girl for several months I met in my dorm complex in college and I found myself falling for her. We have both admitted we have feelings for each other but she feels like she is not ready for a relationship at the moment. She recently came out of a bad relationship and is concerned about her academic performance in college. She wants to remain independent for a long time because she is tired of relationships.
During the time it would have seemed like we were dating, spending time together and going out on "dates." Yet, it was never official. It was a half friendship half relationship.
We recently had a talk and agreed that even though we had feelings for each other, I would agree to no longer pursue a relationship.
I am having problems trying to keep her off my mind. I can't seem to not think about her at times. It does not help that we see each other on a daily basis either. We have avoided the awkward period and we remain strictly friends. We still talk regularly but not in the same way when it was earlier. I was told not to wait, but it feels awkward searching for another SO, because I still feel attached.
How do I remedy my problem? I want a relationship with this person even though we agreed that I wouldn't, yet find myself caught in a vortex when I try to escape. | I like a girl and she likes me, she does not want to start a relationship due to personal reasons. How do I get her off my mind if I still see her on a daily basis? |
t3_3u48uk | relationships | Me [25F] and my boyfriend [25 M] are struggling; unique ideas/getaways to occupy my mind? | We have been dating for 6 months. Met in middle school and were never good friends just because we ran with different crowds, but we always crushed on each other. Earlier this year we re-connected after realizing through social media that we both moved away from our hometown to the same general area (completely different state). It was glorious for the first few months. We adored each other, trusted each other, had great sex, and seemed to be very happy. Around October, things just did a 180 and so many tiny things started happening leading me to question if I was being overdramatic or whatever. Finally I just broke down and had a talk with him, and ever since then things have been so hit or miss.
Yesterday I told him that he needs to take this time that he's away for Thanksgiving to really think about things and he agreed.
I am the type who can't sleep or eat if I'm worried and I know the only way to fight that is to not wallow in self pity in my empty house (my roommate/close friend is home with her family for her break). This is my first holiday as a real "adult" too because I have to work and won't be able to go visit family. I'm not incredibly homesick or anything, but it's just kind of a bummer to be alone during the holidays, you know? At least I have my kitties :D
So Reddit, what are some fun, unique ideas for day trips, events, at home activities, whatever? Maybe an app where you can type in the length of time you're willing to drive and it gives you lists of restaurants, tourist attractions, etc.? I've already started watching one new movie after work every evening to stay entertained.
**For all you east coast people, I'm right on the Blue Ridge Parkway in VA- anything here I should check out? | Relationship is on the skids. Going no contact to sort things out. I'm spending the holidays alone this year and want some unique ideas to help me stay busy. Help! :) |
t3_2jxpac | dogs | I'm taking my dog to the vet FRIDAY but the anticipation is KILLING ME!!!! | How can I tell if my dog is pregnant?!
Okay well maybe it would help if I would list off her symptoms (Pictures below)
-She has been very protective over her food
-Her appetite has increased
-She has occasional mood swings but mostly she wants to be cuddled more than she usually does and usually she is VERY needy but it's been on a whole new level lately.
-Her belly is growing but i'm not sure if she is just getting fat from eating so much more or if she actually pregnant.
-She just today started having milk come out of her nipples and I mean like a full on squirt of it.. did not expect that at all.
-her "lady parts" have gotten slightly larger.
Also, I have not felt movement .. i'm not sure how to properly to feel for them so I just try to lightly touch her belly and a few times I thought I may have felt some movement but i'm not 100% sure. If I put my ear up to her belly I hear a lot of I guess you would say "juicy" sounds like she has gas or something is moving ..
Before anyone beats me over the head about her getting pregnant .. not on purpose. She went into her second heat and one of my family members let her out unsupporvised in our fenced back yard and she dug a hole and escaped to go hang out with her boy toy down the road. (he is a pure breed Pomeranian). Once we found her she had been gone for a little under 1 hour and we have kept a close eye on her since. This past week her belly like POPPED out of now where .. she was a little chubby but that's all but recently her belly has really started to grow.. almost daily. This Friday is the only day I get off work to get her to the vet which explains why I haven't taken her yet :(
If anyone could help me out I would GREATLY appreciate it. | Does my dog look pregnant to you? she has a ton of symptoms of preggo dog and I will take her to the vet Friday but I HAVE TO KNOW NOW! |
t3_2cddos | personalfinance | Good saver but financially clueless on what to do with savings... | * 25 years old
* ~$40,000 annual income
* Zero debt
I contribute $1,200/month to a savings account (and will continue to do so for the forseeable future) that is currently built up to $34,000. I do not have any other financial assets (401k, IRA, stocks, bonds, etc.) because frankly I am clueless.
I want to put my money to work rather than let it just sit in a savings account looking pretty, but reading financial/investment jargon leaves me discouraged because it's all over my head.
What should I be doing with my money to reach my two long term goals: build a house and save for retirement? | I have $34,000, and add $1,200/month to that. What do Ido to prepare for my future? |
t3_4wbzfo | relationships | my [23f] boyfriend [28m] hit me in his sleep. | We've been together for two years now. We moved in together a couple of months ago (But not permanently, I'm moving to another place and I'm just staying with him until I sort some stuff out) and honestly it's been great. We love spending time with each other, we haven't argued about anything even once, it's great seeing him all the time and overall I feel like it's great.
But he's a very restless sleeper. This never used to happen before, but now that we're sleeping in his bed, he sometimes rolls onto me, knees me in my hip/side/knee. However a couple of days ago, he literally punched me in my sleep. And it wasn't like a light tap either, he full blown clocked me in my face. I have a swollen lip, a black eye and my nose had started bleeding. I started screaming the second it happened and he has apologized profusely. We got into this huge fight and he got upset at me for saying I don't want to sleep in the same bed with him anymore. Also, my mom doesn't believe that it was an accident and has given me "the talk" about domestic abuse. I honestly don't know what to even do or say. | Boyfriend punched me in my sleep. He's upset that I don't want to sleep in the same bed, my mom thinks I'm lying and he actually assaulted me. Don't know what to do in this situation completely. |
t3_386n81 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 1 year, not sure if I should continue the relationship. | Okay so me and my girlfriend have been dating for just a bit over a year now, I love her, I really do. But I just don't know what to do.
Me and her met online and things seemed like they would be perfect... but some things just aren't working in my opinion. The big problem is I recently was on snap chat and was using the feature that adds people from my contact list. I was going through it and unDer my girlfriends contact it showed a completely different username than the one I already have her added on.
I decided to Google the username and found a Tumblr page of her that I guess is supposed to be secret. She has been posting nudes (videos and pictures), called a few guys that post asks on her Tumblr cute/sexy/etc, she advertises she sends nudes for snapcash (money sent through snapchat) while she does she does claim to be taken on her profile, but I still just don't like it...
There are minor problems between us like her being very rude to me sometimes, calling me names when she gets mad. Sometimes I can be hard of hearing and I ask her to repeat what she says and she gets very frustrated. IF she does something to me that makes me upset she gets mad at me and will sometimes just not talk to me. | girlfriend has secret snapchat and Tumblr where she posts nudes and doesn't know that I know. She can have a very bad temper and can sometimes call me hurtful names and I don't know if I should continue the relationship. |
t3_17i95n | dating_advice | She (21F) had to cancel on me (24M) for hanging out because she is was/is sick. We are absolutely hitting it off - how do I keep things interesting until first date? | We met at a party, and hit it off. Everything from music to interests to hobbies to being physically attracted to one another. We have not said the words "I like you", but then again, we've only been chatting for a little over a week.
We were supposed to hang out Saturday, but she got sick and cancelled. I don't believe this is bullshit because I can tell by her texts she was really bummed/upset that it didn't work out, and she keeps showing genuine interest in talking to me daily (often several times) over text message. Even if I stop responding or the conversation has closed, she will get in touch several hours later. She says she feels connected to me and "can't believe I exist". I'm guessing that she at least partly likes me, truly was sick, and genuinely wants to hang out.
It's Tuesday, and she's still feeling a little sick. I can't be texting her every day asking her if she feels good enough to hang out that night. Not only is that annoying, it gives the impression that I have no life. So I have not asked about rescheduling but will do so for this weekend.
Anyway, how do I keep things interesting in this situation? How do I keep her interested only through text? Is it better to just not text each other until we have a chance to spend time together face-to-face? I haven't seen her since the party, by the way. | girl and I hit it off, and will have to wait a total of 2 weeks before I see her again. We only communicate via text, and I'm wondering how to keep this interesting. |
t3_20zn41 | relationships | I [20M] am in a confusing situation with my crush [18F] | So I was talking to a friend of a friend for about a week when we met up at a party and hooked up. After she invited me to visit her two weeks later and the two weeks she was texting me non-stop and was really into it. I visit her and again we had a great time. Went to some clubs, explored the city and had sex a few times. I had invited her to a party at my place the next week and she seemed into it.
Come to this week and starting Monday almost total radio silence. She's been talking to me a bare fraction of what she was and is fairly non-responsive. I know her ex had texted her a bit this week as she mentioned it to me and she was also having a rough week at school.
Now I'm not sure if she's coming to visit this weekend (simply won't give a straight answer so probably not). I'm just wondering if it's something I might have done, but the mood change just so damn quick. Also wondering if maybe she still has feelings for her ex so when he texted I just sorta got benched. Or possibly she just wanted sex and rather than being forward about it made me think she liked me. I have no clue and I was wondering if anyone had an experience like mine. | girl seemed really into me, visited and slept with her, now she has totally backed off and doesn't seem into it at all (possibly due to ex?) |
t3_3fjs52 | relationships | My [26F] Fiance's [43M] son [13] is staying with us for a week... Help! | My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and living together for 5 1/2 years. I've known his son since he was 8 years old, but I'm not a kid person, so I've never really tried to build a relationship with him... Until now.
He was dropped of on Friday night and will be leaving us next Saturday morning. I'm not working right now, so my fiance didn't take the week off from work... so I'll be with his son the majority of the time. His son is the typical 13 year old boy. He has his own room with us. His room has a tv and high speed internet. We already spent the majority of Saturday in our separate bedrooms playing video games (not even playing on the same team in the video game lol).
I've matured a lot in the last 6 years and know that building a relationship with my soon to be step-son is very important. I need tips and ideas on what activities to do this week. I have no idea what to do with him besides video games - which the kid and I don't really have a problem with, but it seemed really important to my Fiance when I mentioned that the relationship was a priority to me. | I'm home with my 13 year old step-son and don't know what to do with him to work on our relationship. |
t3_3cds66 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [31M] I've known for around 6 months, is it unfair to want him to lose weight? | We've only just started using the "bf/gf" titles. But we've been talking for about 6 months, and dating for several. I didn't think I liked him that way at first, but after I got over my stupid fears of relationships, I found him to be someone I can just be myself with. He's the most comfortable I've ever felt with a guy. We're honest, have fun, and like each others' families. I still get some fears here and there, but I'm much more mature than I used to be. He knows all of this and also feels new to the serious relationship thing.
I feel like an absolute asshole, but I find myself sometimes turned off by his weight. He is definitely a little heavier than I would normally go for. He's so compatible and his face is so cute, also he's super hairy and that's something I have a fetish for... So that's great. But he has a sizeable beer belly. I'm more turned on by the harder male body feeling, and he's squishier than me in some areas. I feel like a jerk, but it just isn't visually appealing to me, and a little distracting. I'm in-shape myself. I have an athletic figure.
He's mentioned how he used to be in good shape and watch his diet in the past, but hasn't been keeping those standards lately. He already turns me on despite the extra weight (though sometimes it puts a damper on things), so I know if he lost it things would be even better.
That being said, I adore the rest of him! Do you think it's unreasonable for me to find this to be an issue? Should I bring it up down the road? Does it sound like something I'll eventually accept? Or can things like this become bigger problems in the future? It's my first real relationship. | My boyfriend is great, but he's a little heavier than I like. Wondering if it's going to be an issue, or something I'll get over. |
t3_f65ms | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, what did you want to be when you were seventeen? | Reddit I'm seventeen and I'm at the end of my rope with my current career choice; journalism. I like to write and voice my opinions as much as the next guy, however i feel ultimately that, once I'm in the real industry, i wont be able to exercise any real creativity. There's that, and the fact that upon graduating from college i will most likely wind up being swamped with massive student loans, since I've found out that most journalism salaries aren't very well paying for the amount of work put into them.
What I've really always wanted to do was write books, but my family wouldn't really find that respectable unless i could make a living off of doing so. This is actually the reason as to why I'd gotten into journalism in the first place.
I guess what i want to know is what dreams did Redditors have when they were seventeen, were they able to accomplish them, or did they have to change them for financial stability. | I dont like journalism as much as i thought and have come to the realization that i would rather write fiction novels on the side of some other job. What did reddit aspire to be when they were seventeen? |
t3_mokkz | relationship_advice | I had intense feeling for my first love and she trampled over them and became a cold-hearted bitch. Now I like another friend but shits getting weird | So my first love (19F) fucked really treated me like shit in the breakup and I was really attached so I'm trying to get past that. Recently I discovered that I liked a friend who is in a tightt knit group of 10 peers we both consider family. We live on the same floor and when we went back to our respective dorms I drunkenly texted her and told her to come over. She did and we made out until her roommate who is also a part of this group found her and brought her back to her room. Her roommate knows but hasn't said anything.
We flirted for a week and then we went to another party. I invited her back to my dorm and I didn't make a move. When she left I texted her and she came back and we made out.
The next day we talked and she said she didn't want to ruin our friendship and make it awkward for our close peers. We ended it even though I had expressed that I liked her immensely.
Fast forward to this past Tuesday and she's clinging onto me at a party. I treated her like a friend and she told me she made out with some guy who was at the party who I know.
I really like her and we really do have this magnetic chemistry that won't go away. I have no idea what to do because some of the shit she does really turns me off. At the same time though I can see this blossoming into something beautiful | Girl I like wants to be friends because of perceived views of peers and I'm fine with that, but I do like her |
t3_v96hb | AskReddit | Hello, I believe my landlord is abusing his rights and I need some opinions/advice on what to do. | My landlord is currently using my yard as a place to park his bulldozer and a place for his workers to park, in addition to this he has also dumped a gigantic pile of dirt on the driveway we use to turn around and is currently using my electricity. He approached me the first day he was on site and introduced himself and told me he would be using my yard (not one time did he ask permission) along with that he told me that they would be building two houses, and that the house we are currently in is set to be demolished in 1 to 2 years. Other then these problems, one worker is still here working at 9:30 pm, this being the same worker that has pulled in my driveway bass thumping which woke 7:30 in the morning. A few other small things have happened like the property manager dodging my phone calls to request a A/C that they promised us.
My question is what should I do? I am going to their office tomorrow to bring up my problems, or at least that is what I think is the best course of action. I would like to hear all opinions
sorry about grammar/punctuation | my landlord is using my lawn as a parking/ dirt dumping spot and my electricity. I need advice on how to handle this. |
t3_2zzbpi | relationships | Me [23 F] is frustrated with my boyfriend [21 M] of 3yrs because he never actually "gives" me anything. | I know this sounds stupid, but it's really frustrating and I feel like I need some advice on how to sort this out.
Starting at our first anniversary (October 2014), my boyfriend said that he would take me on a trip to the local spa for our anniversary. I was sick with the flu that week, and could not leave the house, so he said he postponed it- we were both very excited, I brought it up a couple times, we never went. Cue second anniversary, we were supposed to go out to a nice dinner (allegedly), but he "couldn't get the car" and we have yet to go. Again, he told me how nice the place was, we got excited, I kept trying to make plans and it hasn't happened.
Cue valentines day 2015- he said he'd buy me the dress I really wanted and had been eying. He ran into an old friend near the cash when we went shopping, I bought the dress, and he has yet to reimburse me for it. I can't afford this dress right now (especially since I bought him what he wanted) and have expressed such and said I'd return it because I really need the money- told me to keep it, still no "gift" though.
I know this seems petty and selfish, but it's really bothering me that he promises me these things as gifts and I never get them, even after he tells me about how "amazing" it is. It's especially bothering me because I was unemployed for a few weeks this year, yet I was able to scrounge up the cash to give him his gifts on birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
I just need ideas on how to discuss this with him tactfully, I've tried casual reminders of how excited I am and he got frustrated because "it's not the right time to go" or "not my fault I can't get the car". I'm just tired of being psyched up for something and never having it work out :( | I buy boyfriend gifts. He says he'll buy me a gift, gets me excited for the gift, and never actually gives it to me. Need advice on how to talk about this without seeming selfish or needy. |
t3_1thmv9 | relationship_advice | Boyfriend(29m) of 5 years being very particular that I (26f) cannot look at his phone because he wants privacy. | So we have been together for 5 years and have lived with each other for 2 years. I have always felt that if you don't have anything to hide there is no reason to be secretive, he feels that since we live together and share the space he just wants something to be his very own, that no one else has access to, and thats his phone. I was sketchy at first but I read similar views on Reddit about the same scenario. So I respected that and I haven't snooped on his phone or electronic devices.
-About a week ago he got a brand new phone. While he was driving today I said, "hey can I check out your new phone and see how it runs?" Not wanting to snoop or anything, I'm debating about getting a new phone and thats one of the ones I was looking at. He has a lock on it and I ask for the key, he says no I cant mess with it because its charging and you aren't supposed to mess with a phone while its charging. I pointed out last night he was playing with his phone on the charger for 30 mins so whats the big deal if I just wanted to play with it for a bit? He said that we have been over this before and that he just wants privacy on his phone, and that he respects my privacy and would never ask to look at my phone.
- Am I in the wrong here for thinking something is up since he got defensive about me just wanting to play on his phone or is it just him wanting to keep his phone private? | Bf said his phone is private and personal and I shouldn't ask to play on it, and gets irritated because we have been over this before. |
t3_4vfhzk | dating_advice | I want to ask out this girl I've been infatuated with for months the only problem is I only see her while she's working | I've had a crush on this waitress at my favorite bar for close to a year now and I don't know how to ask her out without being "that guy" that hits on girls while they're working. I've never seen her walking around town or anywhere else besides work so I don't know where to ask her in a more casual setting.
Let me preface this with saying that this is no minor crush without even talking to her she's made me a better person. When I first saw her I told myself that if I ever got the opportunity to go out with this girl I better have something to show for, so I really pushed myself and got myself an awesome job in my field making pretty good money for my age (I'm 22 almost 23) then I said that if I ever take her on a date I don't want to drive her around in my piece of shit car so I bought a really nice car as well. Finally I said hey i better start working out so I look better and I'm now in the best shape of my life. All of this because if I just got the opportunity to date her I'd want to be able to offer her the best of everything.
I've also never asked anyone out in my entire life. Every girl I've ever dated or I've slept with has asked me out so I'm completely out of my element here and I have no idea what I'm doing. Any advice would help. | I'm in love with a waitress at my favorite bar but I only see her at work. How do I ask her out? |
t3_h51fl | AskReddit | 18-year-old male wants to improve his English reading skills, reddit what book would you recommend. | I have a friend who moved to America (from Israel) 5 years ago. Since both his parents are American and they always spoke English in the house, he can speak English fluently. However, when he reads (I've seen him reading Tom Clancy and Harry Potter books…) he always waits for a Hebrew translation because he can read Hebrew much faster than he can English.
Last night he told me he wanted to start improving his English reading, he asked for a book that would be interesting enough to hold his attention and make him want to finish it… I'm thinking Enders Game (as it was always one of my favorites) what would you recommend? | My friend in need of a good book with a great story but not something too complicated or too long. Please recommend your favorite |
t3_3go5rp | relationships | Me [26M] with my [25F] girlfriend of 4 months. Saved photos. | So we've known each other for 5 months, official for 4 months. I believe things are pretty serious, I've met her parents and friends; she's met my friends and about to meet my parents.
Okay now here's the problem. We were going through her old photos and I noticed she has a ton of saved photos of her and her ex bf of 3 years. We're talking albums here. When I tried to view them in a teasing/curious way, she responded back in a cute nooo and took her phone back. I just shrugged it off and played it cool. She was single for 2 full years before she met me. From what she has told me about her ex is that he was uncaring, verbally abusive and a cheater..which was the final straw of her breaking up with him.
I'm thinking if it's been 2 full years and if he was such a prick, wouldn't you have deleted those photos the moment you broke up? I have ZERO saved photos of my exes, even the ones that ended on good terms. | Girlfriend has a bunch of saved photos of her cheating ex bf. Is this normal? Am I tripping over nothing? |
t3_39n5lb | relationships | He [28/M] cheated on me(24/F) with prostitute | Hello redditors, I appreciate all the help I can get by this supporting community.
We have been officially dating for 3 months. It has been the happiest time of my life. He treated me with respect and love during the relationship. I have met his family and friends and everything was wonderful. I really believed that he was the one.
A few days ago he told me that during his 2 week trip out of the country, he slept with a prostitute! I was so shocked because there were no signs at all that he would do something like this. We have sex everyday and he has told me that he really enjoys having sex with me. This is why I am so shocked and confused. After he told me, I couldn't see his face anymore and decided to break up with him and left him even though it was 2 am in the morning. He told me that he wanted to talk about it and followed me to my car where I left him. He texted me an hour later saying that he didn't know what to say in the moment and that he still wanted to talk to me about it. But I told him to never contact me again and haven't talked to him since then (2 days ago)/ He hasn't apologized yet.
I really can't believe this happened to me, this is so shocking and painful. I am having the urge to talk to him and give him a chance but only if he really is remorseful about it and really wants to make the relationship work.
I still have hoped that the relationship is salvageable only if he is willing to work with me through it with therapy.
Am I being blinded by my emotions? I really want to talk to him and understand why he acted the way he did and maybe work on it? Should I contact him now? I really need an explanation to what happened.
I do not know how to go through this, I haven't been able to eat for 2 days and feel like dying. | Bf of 3 months cheated on me with a prostitute when we were officially dating for a month. Is there hope to salvage my relationship? |
t3_24wfvz | relationships | Me (23/m) have had a huge crush on my flatmates' friend (25/f) for the past month, but am never alone with her. | Hey guys, my three flatmates (all female) have recently started hanging out with a new friend, and we sometimes (roughly once a week?) do things together, like mini golf, hanging out at Panera, etc. I really like her, but as I only know her through my flatmates, I am never alone with her. I don't know how to ask her out, I don't want to just do it over Facebook as I think that makes it more awkward the next time I see her (as well as being less "personal").
I haven't told my flatmates yet, and they haven't mentioned anything to me about the possibility of me and their friend getting together. They don't often ask me about that kind of stuff though, so maybe they don't want to feel like they're intruding?
Also I'm not sure if their friend even likes me or not, as I'm not very good at telling this sort of thing but don't want to regret not saying anything. I've been wondering if I should tell my flatmates? Or should I just Facebook their friend and ask her directly and risk it being more awkward when I next see her? | Should I tell my flatmates I have a crush on their friend who I'm never alone with, or should I just Facebook her to ask her out? |
t3_4ebdaw | relationships | I'm [18 M] having trouble connecting truly with people and making true friends here where I live! | In my childwood , i didn't developed my social skills and balance as others , i stayed must of the time alone in my computer, gaming in the computer , watching science videos and so on .... i'm single child . Parents didn't promote on me a social life.
In school , i had a few good friends , but the curse of life made me move away from them , because i went to a new school.
New school = hype train , "i will make a lot of new friend!!" I said!
Nop! School full of thugs .Full of people that i did have anything in commom , only 2 colleagues as an exepection... but i didn't really trust them ...
Not much of social experience ...
In the summer , I went to my cousin [15/M] house to spend a week there , and somehow from that week i made really good friends . Friends that i share interests , who i trust and talk about my feelings , but they live far away . I can only see them 4 time a year for 1 or 2 weeks ...
So my problem is : why can't i make good friends where ? What is different ? I'm doing something wrong ?
Sorry for spelling, grammar , not native ! | Having issues making friends , connecting with people here where i live and can't understand why . Since in cousin's hometown in the holidays made good friends ! |
t3_knen3 | AskReddit | What decision(s) did you make that ultimately saved your life? I will go first. | I have many but my Mother's is much better than mine. Back in the 70's she would frequent the beach ALL of the time with her friends. She was born and raised near the Caribbean Sea; the water temperature was always great. On a random day her 5 friends and her had just gotten to the beach when she had this feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something told her not to go in the water. So, she told her friends she would just tan. They all went in. Not 5 mins later she heard screams; she looked up. It was all 5 of her friends asking for help deep in the water. Panic ensued and bystanders tried to help to no avail. They were all swept to sea. | mom went to the beach, had a bad feeling. Didn't get in the water as her 5 friends did. They all drowned. |
t3_52o4vz | relationships | My [22M] girlfriend [22F] won't seem to accept that I don't like going out when I'm on-call. | We've been dating for 3 years and living together for the last year now. I've been working as a community nurse for a little over a year now - with the job comes being on call (only one night a week). Anything that comes through after 4:30 falls onto me - whether it's new orders, a new referral, or a patient calling our after-hours pager. Most nights are quiet, some will have patient's calling out every hour or two.
I don't like going out when I'm on call. Whether it's for a bite to eat at a restaurant, for a night cruise, or even to go grab a slice of pizza. I'm sure other nurses do but I don't feel comfortable doing it. We're required to answer the page within 30 minutes but realistically it should be within a few minutes - our pager is a big bulky iPad. I'm always worried that I'll be out and get a page. It's just one of those things I prefer - staying home when I'm on call. I've explained this to her more times than I can count yet she'll still try and nudge me into going out. Tonight she wanted me to go and grab a slice of pizza with her. I had to say no several times and even say "I've said this more times than I can count, I really appreciate the offer but I don't like going out when I'm on call." All I got back was a "fine, see ya in a bit." | Our relationship is otherwise great but my girlfriend just can't seem to understand I don't like leaving the house when I'm on-call. I've talked to her about this several times already. Am I being irrational here? |
t3_2tmrot | tifu | TIFU by revealing myself and a friend's 'meetings' t the rest of our group of friends (NSFW) | Okay, so a couple of months ago me and my mate (we'll call him Brad) were in mine, by ourselves, playing video games. Don't ask me how it happened but one thing led to another and ended up blowing him. Since then we've made excuses to get away from the rest of our mates so we can be alone, where I continue to give blowjobs and even try anal in our more recent meet-ups. It's great.
The fuck up starts when we're all over a friend's house for a drink. We'd been there for a few hours and we were all pretty drunk, when the conversation naturally turned to sex. One of the guys is moaning that his girlfriend isn't giving him head anymore because she doesn't like the taste of his semen. He told us that she said it was 'too salty'. It was at this point I must have completely lost my mind, because my reply to that was to laugh and say, 'Just like Brad's.' Cue disgusted looks from around the room at us both. I tried to pass it off as a joke but Brad's expression gave the game away, and we eventually had to come clean and BEG the, not to tell anyone. They were all relatively cool with it but they all still act differently toward us, and every sentence they say to me being a double entendre is really, really annoying... | I drunkenly revealed to my group of friends I was giving head to another friend. Accidentally came out to my best mates. |
t3_3tw6yy | relationships | Me [22M] falling rapidly for[27F] not sure how to go about it | This weekend I met a girl when out, whom I've been familiar with for a while, we met at the bar and we talked for a long time and really hit it off, she's older than me but has the exact same ambitions as I do, she's soon finished studying to become a teacher and I've recently began doing the same thing.
So we went to an after party and instead of being inside partying we stood outside and we talked for hours on end, about life goals and values and one thing led to another and we were having a serious make-out session, things got more and more heated and we eventually went to my place and had sexual intercourse. I made sure to tell her that I am no "One night stand" kind of guy and told her this wouldn't have happened had we not hit it off as hard as we did, to make sure she knew she was special and not just another lay.
So she spent the night and we cuddled for the whole night, it felt amazing to me, we exchanged numbers and have been talking for a few days now. The problem is that I'm very bad at taking things at the right speed, I want to pursue this girl and prove that I'm more than just my age and so forth since we have a considerable age gap.
In the past I've been very quick to feelings, I've gotten attached too fast, and this time I don't want to fuck up, so how do I go about wooing her without being overbearing? I know she's into me and I'm into her. I'd really love to ask her on a date but I'm not sure if I'm rushing it. | Into an amazing girl and I'm really scared of going too fast or too slow, I'd like to spend more time with her but I don't want to be overbearing, age gap might also be an issue (Possibly) |
t3_3i9rvm | relationships | Has he [22 M] lost interest in me [19 F]?? | I met this guy on tinder yesterday, we snapchatted two separate time and he came both times. We texted pretty much all day and he kept on saying how he couldn't wait to meet, and he talked about all the stuff we'd do etc. It was really heated and he was definitely super into it. It was a really great and fun conversation and I told him to text me today, he said he would but he doesn't get off of work until six. I still haven't heard from him but it says he was just active on tinder. Has he moved on? | Met this guy yesterday on tinder, great conversation etc, hasn't texted me today but has been active on tinder, had he moved on? |
t3_3x7q75 | relationships | My [16 F] girlfriend broke up with me [17 M] ended after 8 months | So last night my girlfriend was really down and I´ve never seen it that bad before. She started asking questions like if it was worth it out of nowhere. If the money(this was her main reason what was really weird for me and still is as I mainly travelled to her place and she didn´t have to single euro), stress and time we put in this relationship is really worth it.
And we´ve always talked about our life goals and how we´re gonna get to there together. But yesterday she said that there is no future in us. It didn´t matter how long our relationship would last it would end eventually.
We hung up on skype(due to living 250km´s apart from eachother) and said we loved eachother etc.. and that we would talk about this later. So yeah later that night she texted me said it was over.
I´ve been crying all night till I fell asleep at around 4 AM and since that I´m awake it feels like im trapped in some kind of nightmare. I´ve tried boiling my skin, pulling hairs out and just put a knife against my throat but couldn´t do it. This girl was my life and I don´t know what to do. please help me | my girlfriend broke up as she see´s no future in us and money, time for this relationship doesn´t seem worth it. feeling trapped in a dream and need help asap im a wreck |
t3_y05rn | AskReddit | Reddit, can you give me any pointers on dealing with my lack of inspiration? I haven't felt inspired to do just about anything in the last few years. | Long story short, I used to feel inspired on a daily basis to do pretty much anything. I used to blog often, write for fun, have a generally artsy outlook. Now, as of the last four or so years, I haven't been able to put a pen to paper, write anything worth reading or put anything even as simple as a rough sketch into fruition. I tend to draw inspiration from others around me, and I suppose I don't surround myself with people who are "like me" as much as I may have in the past. I also draw inspiration from music. but it is really band-dependent, not necessarily from that of any genre. It's getting to the point now where I am considering seeing a therapist or psychologist, just to find my "muse" if you would. Even writing this topic text has been a labor. Could this be a really late onset of ADD? I can't even begin to assess my situation because I haven't got a single clue as to what is wrong.
Anything that anyone can suggest, I will try to my fullest extent. | I seem to have lost my muse, and my passion for anything that I used to enjoy with it. Can't really find anything to draw inspiration from and it's a pretty awful feeling. Anything anyone can suggest would be fantastic. |
t3_440anc | legaladvice | Social Host (RI) | I want to preface the following information with the question I am looking to have answered. Do I have any legal grounds to dismiss this citation/charge?
Last week my housemates and I, there are 4 of us total (Two who are of legal age, two who are not), hosted a social gathering. Cops responded to our house due to someone accidentally knocking on the neighbor's door (person went to the wrong house). The neighbor then called their spouse as they were home alone who called town police and asked them to check it out. Neighbor did not want any charges brought against us as we have always had a good relationship.
Fast forward, officer shows up, we're very cooperative, allow him to disperse the party when he determines there is one. He decides not to cite us and just give us a warning.
Following people leaving our residence someone decided to steal some of my roommates alcohol (who is 21 and legally allowed to own it) and then got caught with it leaving our house. Police officers then show back up to our house saying this individual came from our house and is a minor so therefore we are being cited for a "Social Host Violation"
From what I have gathered this is how the Social Host Law in Rhode Island is defined:
It is against the law for a host to permit an underage person to consume alcohol.
DEFINITIONS WITHIN THE LAW:
"Permit" is defined as "to give permission for, or approval of, the possession or consumption of an alcoholic beverage by any form of conduct, that would cause a reasonable person to believe that permission or approval has been given." | Had party, cops came, got a warning. Minor stole our alcohol while being dispersed by police, police showed back up and charged us with social host. |
t3_1x5gab | relationship_advice | 23M & 23F - Distance growing/advice on next step | Hi Reddit,
I'll try to make this less complicated than it feels. GF & I met in college. I got job in a new state, she went home. Distance is 4+ hours. Drivable, but exhausting. We talk about moving in together, but no bueno. Stays like this for months.
New year comes around, we're still fine. New co-worker comes along. Looks very similar to current gf. Start to really notice her. Find out she can actually play sports with me, also very competitive. Start comparing her to GF; GF plays 0 sports, non-competitve. Feel distant from GF, closer to co-worker, we talk and active together alot.
Gf notices distance, wants to move in. I question if its good idea or not. Question relationship. What to do? I'm very much the opposite of the confrontational type, I don't even know how I would address a breakup. | Long-distance; growing apart, new co-worker and I become closer friends. Compare the two, co-worker starting to win. GF wants to move in. Unsure of what to do. |
t3_1ea329 | relationship_advice | I[f19] just found out my boyfriend[m20] of 2 years had cheated on me | My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now. We've had our fair share of problems, but we always work through everything. I just found out that he had cheated on me roughly a year ago, and I was hurt and distraught. I told him I wanted to work through everything, because I feel like I am literally in love with this kid. I realize that we are both young, and most people would think we are naive.
He says that he loves me and that he regrets it more than anything, but he doesn't want to be with me right now because he is emotionally unstable and wants to fix hisself so he can be the best he can for me. He keeps stressing that he doesn't want to lose me and that he wants to be with me always.
So, reddit, what do I do? | I don't know what to do since I found out my boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me. In desperate need of advice |
t3_2pqkwb | relationships | I [25 M] am beginning to question my relationship with my girlfriend [23 F] after we've been dating for three months. Is this normal? | Important side note: This is the first time in years where I've found someone I've felt a strong enough connection with to date them for more than a couple of months.
Like it says, we've been dating for three months and they were full of puppies and rainbows up until a couple weeks ago. To summarize, we had a couple of times where we didn't communicate effectively and both got heated. Our first arguments essentially. The lack of communication was because of issues with our schedules, both of us being really busy with work and her with finals. Happy fucking holidays.
Since then, my anxiety has hit the fucking roof. I constantly worry about all of the ways this relationship could fail and all of the things I find undesirable about her. My thoughts are all negative but in reality her positive traits totally outweigh her negative ones.
I know exactly what I'm worried about. I'm terrified of putting my emotions on the line and getting hurt. In the past when I reached this point, I'd be like, "Oh this person isn't who I thought they were" and bail. With my current girlfriend I want to fight these negative thoughts and look past some of her flaws and see the good in her but I'm finding it really difficult to remind myself to chill the fuck out and do that.
Is this a normal part of deciding you want to be with someone? I honestly have no idea. | I accidentally found someone I'm willing to commit to but I'm terrified of what could go wrong. Please send words of encouragement and advice. |
t3_1dgx9f | relationships | Boyfriend [M18] and his mother have had huge issues lately, if you ask me [F19] she's emotionally abused him. They're fixing things, but now she wants to go out for lunch with me to "clear the air". | My SO has been extremely depressed lately, and a large portion of that can be related to his mother and their relationship. She is far too controlling and quick to anger. A few weeks ago they had a huge falling out. Now they're mending their relationship. She thinks that with all the things he has told me that I must hate her. I don't, I don't think much of her parenting skills from what I've heard, but I also don't know the full story. I prefer to take a rather subjective view on issues I'm not directly involved in, so I really don't have any changed feelings towards her.
However, I have never been completely comfortable around her. I've done some pretty questionable things in my past, and I get a very judgmental vibe from her. So naturally I'm a little unsettled by her, but nothing that would keep me from being polite and friendly. I would just be really uncomfortable being alone with her as I feel I have to put on more of an act than I am comfortable with.
My SO says that she wants to go to lunch with me to "clear the air", I told him I was not comfortable with that. He got quite clearly upset and told me that he wants me to try and help him repair his relationship with his mother. I'm all for supporting him through this, but I also see this as just being an absolutely terrible idea, if he came with it would be fine. But her and I alone seems far far too much. I don't want to upset both of them, but I also don't want to agree to this and then screw everything up. Am I wrong to outright deny to this? If not, how do I have my SO see that? | Boyfriend had issues with his mother, they're fixing it, she thinks I must hate her, wants to go on a one-on-one lunch with me, I don't really want to. |
t3_37arlg | relationships | Need help on how I [20F] can break up with my boyfriend [20M] of 1.5 years without blindsiding him | I don't know how to break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half because there isn't one big problem. Honestly there aren't really any problems. He's loving and sensitive and generous. I just know I'm not going to marry him, so I want to break it off before more time goes on.
The main things are that we have different interests and pretty different senses of humor.
My biggest problem is that I feel like this is going to crush him. This is his first long-term relationship and over the last year he has kind of dedicated his whole self to it and in the process has let go of most of his friends even though I've encouraged him to still make an effort with them. So I'm afraid he won't have any friends to turn to after the breakup.
I'm also worried that he is going to be completely crushed and blindsided... He is not going to see this coming at all because I haven't hinted to it at all. I feel horrible about that and I don't know how to lessen the blow.
Any advice or stories would be really appreciated.. | Need help figuring out how to break up with my boyfriend because there is no big reason other than the fact that he's not "the one" but I don't want to blindside and crush him. |
t3_2t5krp | relationships | My [F/21] friend [F/21] is trying to turn our relationships into a competition | I have been good friends with this girl for about 3 years now, and during that time, we've both dated people but haven't been in any serious relationships at the same time as each other. However, about 6 months ago, we both ended up starting relationships around the same time (hers started about 2 weeks after mine did).
During the course of my relationship, it seems as if my friend has been making a competition over relationship milestones. For example, a few months ago she brings up that she met her SO's parents, and then was like "have YOU met each others' parents?" in a way that makes it seem like she "won" somehow by getting to that step first. Any time I mention ANYTHING about my relationship, she has to one-up me somehow.
Then last week, I told her that my SO and I said "I love you" to each other recently. I didn't ask her if she and her SO had done that, but she stayed quiet so I suspected they hadn't. Then the next day she told me that they had said their "I love you"s the previous night but "at least we said it when we weren't naked" (my SO and I said it to each other while hanging out in bed a while after sex).
She's driving me crazy. My solution right now is:
a) trying to avoid relationship talk as much as possible, and
b) being passive aggressive when she does bring it up
(her, earlier today: "Why did you only stay at his place for one night this weekend? I stayed at my boyfriend's all 3 nights." Me: "Ooh looks like you win!"
Is there anything I can do/say without sounding like a douche (I mean, more than I already do through my passive aggression)? | My friend and I have been in relationships for roughly the same period of time, and she's always trying to turn relationship milestones into a race. |
t3_47eqbh | relationships | Am I (22f) wrong for talking to a guy (24m) after I talked to his brother(26m) for over a year? | This is weird so bare with me:
I used to talk to a guy "Charles" over 2 years ago. We weren't exclusive but he wanted a relationship, it didn't work out because I was busy with school and life. We never did anything just talked and sent selfies all the time. It wasn't serious. Charles did actively pursue me.
It stopped when his life got busy and I told him he should talk to other people and gave him relationship advice.
Anyways... The other day I met a guy at a bar. He looked super familiar but I couldn't place a finger on it. Whatever, started talking to the guy.
So Charles posted a Facebook status and bingo! The guy in the picture is John. John is Charles' little brother. Fuckkkkk!!! That's where I remember him from. So I load my iPad and yep, the pictures Charles sent me from their vacation have his brother. Wtfffff!!!
Anyways, my question is should I completely dump John go no contact and never see him again? Or should I ask Charles if it's okay for me to talk to his little brother? Seriously.... I need help. This is weird. | Guy I'm talking to is the little brother to a guy I used to talk to. This is weird, should I just not contact him and cut my losses? |
t3_3i57n5 | relationships | I [25M] want to go on a holiday without my girlfriend [24F] of 3 years because she doesn't like the friends I want to go with. But she has asked me to go with her family somewhere else a month later. Am I a shit bloke for not wanting to go? | So my friends who consist of 20 people are heading to Bali next year and I have told them I cannot make it due to funds. I just got my tax back and now I could afford it no worries.
I asked her a few weeks back if she would go and she couldn't even bare the thought of spending two weeks with those people. I on the other hand would have a blast!
But, about two weeks before I was asked to go to Bali, I was asked by her and her family if I wanted to go to a wedding a month after the Bali trip, now this trip would be twice and much as Bali so I declined straight away. Which they understood completely.
The question is now, do I tell her I want to go with my friends or not even bother with both and stay at home and do nothing at all? | Would I be an arse if I went on holiday with out my girlfriend, when I said I can't go away with her a month later? |
t3_39q99w | self | Need advice. Unhappy with my life and not many choices. | I have been working retail and food industry since I was 16, am 23 now. My goal was to be a all around handy man but its hard to get the certifications and still work. I live in a new state and know no one but the people I work with and they are happy with their current roles in the food industry. But I work two jobs to make ends meet and I don't have the means to quit this wither job to go to school. I dread going to work every day. I have applied for apprenticeships every chance I get. I'd even be happy doing automotive work but I have no experience. Any suggestions of how I could dig myself out of this hole and get into something fulfilling? | can't quit my jobs or lose my house and car but want to work towards a job that will make me happy. |
t3_45ombs | relationship_advice | (17/m) My platonic friend (17/f) admitted to having a crush on me | A little bit of backstory:
My purely platonic friend, who I will call Jade, had been in a relationship for a while now, but mentioned having a crush on someone. I also fancy someone, and she knows that, but she doesn't know who.
On Thursday, her boyfriend pretended to break up with her for a day, which she didn't take well. After he refused to be her valentine, Jade told him that she was breaking up with him and she had a crush on someone else. I didn't ask her who because I hate it when people do that to me. Skip to this morning. Another one of my platonic friends, who I will call Amber, were joke flirting with each other, as we do often. Jade was there. Later on, she sent me a text in Italian. I don't speak Italian and I was too busy doing homework to translate it. Now, hours later, I get around to it and is says "I love you and I am praying to God you don't speak Italian." She was probably hurt when I flirted with Amber and my mentioning of the girl I fancy (without naming her) may have lead her astray. After a rough break-up, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time I don't want to pretend to be in love with her (though I could probably learn to love her in a non-platonic way). What do I tell her? | Platonic friend thinks of me as a non-platonic friend, I don't want to embarrass her or lie to her. |
t3_1u6o53 | relationships | Me [20 M] Want Something More With My Good Friend I Met This Semester [21 F], Or Should I Cut Contact? | So, I have a good friend who I met this semester at college. She trusted me very early, and told me some of her past problems, her parent's divorce, and other details that she said she hadn't told anyone else.
As we talked more throughout the coming weeks and hung out and such I made my feelings known that I wanted to be more than friends and she said that she found me very attractive and that I was keen on her emotions like nobody else had been in her life, but she didn't want to be tied down to one person.
It has been a while since it has been brought up, and I see her almost daily through the semester and now that we are home on the winter break and far away she had invited me to come up to her. I miss her a lot, but I was thinking would it be best to not talk to her anymore? I can't see her as only a friend and I know she doesn't want a relationship for her own reasons.
Every time I see her I am happy but at the same time I get more and more sad about it and it wears on me. I have other friends, and there are other girls too and of course I can't put every detail of my attraction to her here but, I want her more than anything else.
What should I do? Should I tell her that I'm not good with relationships but I only mean good to her, and she shouldn't fear being with me and she could leave whenever. Should I be honest and tell her that I want her badly and find her so good? I think about her a lot and I wish I could view her as just a friend but I can't, but at the same time even with rejection I can't just leave her. She said that she was afraid I would leave her because she couldn't return the feeling.
She even said when I first expressed my feelings that she thought that it could be me, but she couldn't do it. I was hoping I could take down those walls or reservations she has. | A good friend of mine and I want something different from each other, but I want more. What should I do? |
t3_24dfdl | relationships | I, 18M feel like my 20F (SO of 1.5 years) is hiding something. | I will try to keep it short and simple.
The other day my girlfriend went to the hair salon to get her hair cut and coloured.
I thought this would only take 2 hours tops.
She did not return home for 6 hours.
I went along with it,but my inner "bs meter" is going nuts.She said she was reading magazines,playing on her tablet and her phone for 6 hours.
She also mentioned she saw X and he waited with her for about 2 hours and a bit. X previously had an interest in her(It was mutual),and she regards X as her friend.
When she got home i noticed she got a text from X , being the curious fella i am, i went through her messages and found no texts from X, she deleted it(them?).So now i am stuck with the idea of the scenario that really happened went like this.
She got her hair done in 2 or 3 hours,and spent the rest with X(she mentioned he watched a movie,i think they both went to the cinema)he texted her something either like "Had a great time today,or don't tell your boyfriend about today" And she covered it up by saying her hair appointment took 6 hours.
I am not sure,i wish i was. I would love some female and male input into a situation like this, i can't really press the issue with her as she'd find out about my distrust in her, i'm just trying to mine information for now.
I can give any additional information if it is required, and providing i have it. | Girlfriend went to a 6 hour hair appointment and deleted a text from a guy she was previously interested in.I'm very suspicious. |
t3_221kqy | relationships | Me [25 M] and my girlfriend [24 F], dating 18 months. I disagree with her on family planning methods. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 18 months now. She and I are happy together (with the exception of what follows, of course), we both finished university last year and are planning on moving in together once I save up enough money.
She and I rarely have sex because I don't agree with her use of birth control pills. She started taking them a few months ago, and I hate it. They screw up her hormones and they turn her into a raging monster whenever she misses a pill. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, there's hell to pay.
I don't want her to take the birth control pills at all. She refuses to get off of them because she is afraid of getting pregnant, but they turn her into someone I can't stand. I don't want children at all, and neither does she, so I can't see why we can't just use spermicide and get rid of the pregnancy if all else fails. | Girlfriend is on birth control and it makes her turn into a raging monster. I want her to stop taking them and switch birth control methods. Now we are fighting. |
t3_1t4mu9 | relationships | I [17 M] recently met another guy [14 M] and we're both interested in each other, but the age gap is keeping us from discussing actually dating. Advice? | I'm [17 M] a senior in high school, publicly out as gay at my school. I've never had any sort of relationship, but recently met someone I really like [14 M].
First off, we're both in show choir. I've known who he was but had no intentions of flirting with a freshman. About a month ago, rumors were going around that he hooked up with 3 different guys at various times, so I got a little concerned and invited him and his best friend [14 F] to coffee.
It was a great time. We sorted out the rumors, told stories, and got to know each other a little better. Just the next day, we started snapchatting each other virtually non stop, and we're talking often in our French class. Using previously mentioned best friend as a mediator, we've found out that we both like each other and I'm taking him out for dinner soon. I'm incredibly excited, and as far as I can tell, he is too.
I've mentioned him to most of my friends now, and I get basically the same reaction from everyone. They all say it's great that I've met someone, but I shouldn't put labels on it no matter what because I'm leaving soon and three years is a huge age gap in high school. Also, neither of our parents are terribly fond of homosexuality, so I doubt we would introduce each other to our families. I just have no idea what to do next. | I [17 M] recently met another guy [14 M] and we're both interested in each other, but my friends are suggesting not starting a relationship because of the age gap and my leaving for college soon. Advice? |
t3_2x5mei | relationships | Left my(24f) bf (25m) of 3 months to go overseas, but now not sure I made the right choice. | After I broke up with my longterm boyfriend earlier last year, I planned to move overseas for 7 months before starting my Masters overseas.
About 3 months before I was due to leave I bumped into an old friend from high school. We had what I thought at the time was a one night stand, however over the next couple of weeks we spent some time together and realised we were extremely compatible. We become pretty inseparable and were official together pretty quickly. I fell hard and fast, and so did he. We had so much fun together, and bonded on a deep level, emotionally and physically.
But I had already planned to leave early this year (Feb), and wasn't about to change my plans for a guy. Especially because we had only been together a short while. We discussed the situation, and decided we would stay in touch while I was away and just see what happened. He has to stay in our hometown until next year because of his job, so him coming with me was not an option.
I have now been overseas for nearly a month, and things are difficult. We have realised we don't want to be apart, so we are remaining together and embarking on a long distance relationship. But, 12 months is a long time. All I can think about is seeing him. I honestly think he is the person I should be with for the rest of my life.
I don't start uni until September, so realistically I could call it quits and head home until I have to leave. Then that is only ~6 months apart. But I feel like that is a cop out. I just don't know what I should do.
Is 12 months long distance after a 3 month relationship (physically together) realistic? Should I just call it and go home?
Any advice would be much appreciated. I am at a complete loss. | moved overseas after seeing a guy for 3 months. We have decided to do long distance but realistically we cannot see each other for 12 months. Is this realistic? Or should I think about going home? |
t3_1mprvf | loseit | I've lost 20lbs since moving away, I'm pretty excited about my progress. 5'0"/21/f (166lbs- 146lbs) | 21, Female,5'0"
SW: 166lbs
CW: 146lbs
GW: 120lbs
[Progress Pics]
The first picture as at Target, I don't have a full body mirror at home. Sorry about that!
Hey there, loseit community! I'm super nervous about posting, but here we go!
Back in June of this year, I moved away from my home town to live with my parents. While I was living in the previous place, I ate horribly. I seldom cooked, and I was just unhappy. We ate a lot of fast food in that household, sadly. I worked my way up to my highest weight ever, 166lbs, and realized that I wasn't going to let myself get any higher. The way I felt at my highest was starting to really put a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend and that just isn't cool. I didn't feel pretty, I was angry 90% of the time. I always told my boyfriend that he was lying when he said I looked sexy or pretty.
When I moved, I promised myself I would make a change and lose the weight. My parents were generous enough to buy me a bicycle for my birthday and I started riding that everywhere around town. I also started really counting calories (1200/day), I completely eliminated sodas from my diet, have become mindful of serving sizes, and drink lots more water. I also started the Zombies 5k app, since I have never really been much of a runner, and am having a lot of fun with that (I start week 3 tomorrow!!!).
I still have some unhealthy habits of course, but I'm not eating out as much and have gotten a lot better about saying "no". I still have 26lbs to lose before I am where I want to be, but I am starting to feel pretty again and that is a major achievement. My attitude has improved and so has my relationship. I'm still not comfortable with being in pictures, and I am still having self esteem issues, but I am getting better. | Moved away from my friends and moved in with my parents. Became more active and ate a lot less shit. In the process of becoming awesome. |
t3_3xdauj | relationships | My [17/m] brother[19m] is getting paid to hang out with me. | I got diagnosed with IBD in 8th grade which directly, and indirectly has made me miss alot of school, I won't go into much details, but because I've been away from school so much, my brother was offered to be a "support contact" which basically means we get a certain amount of cash to spend on activities together, and he also gets a salery, we're going to the gym now 3 times a week together. I wan't him to workout with me because he wants to, and not just because he gets paid.
I feel it would be rude/greedy to ask for example if we could use some of the money (salery) to buy supplements, but at the same time I feel that if he had said no to it, it would mean that he only does it for the money. Would it be wrong of me to ask? | My brother is getting paid to be with me, it makes me kinda uncomfortable and I'm wondering if it would be rude/greedy to use some of the money he *earns* for related stuff. |
t3_mlb4f | AskReddit | Tips for a foreigner who wants to work in the States... | Hi there,
I'm a Law student in Italy and I wanted to try my luck working in the States for a few months. I've been told by some people that, if you do it right, you can actually put together a good amount of money to bring back home (think of the fact that the life standard in Croatia, which is the country I'm originarily from, is lower than the one in the States).
My questions are:
* Where to go? Which cities?
* What are some good occupations that might require my degree (Master Law) and those that don't require any particular degree except hard work?
* Where to stay? Any decent places that aren't expensive and are alright for a mid20s couple (I'm planning this with my SO)?
* Any other tips that might make this whole experience better or less terrifying are more than welcome.
The language barrier is not a problem since we're both pretty good speakers. Mind the fact that it'd be cool if we could be in some bigger cities, cause I've never visited NYC or San Fran (never been outside of the European continent). | Foreigner looking for work/accomodation opportunities in the States. Where to go? What to look for? |
t3_35d976 | relationships | My GF(23) and I(24) are on the verge of breaking up...what can I do to try, and fix things | I need to get this off my chest, and the best way was to go ahead and write this out
My girlfriend, and I have been going on 4 years now and the last 6 months have been a bit stressful my job makes me move a lot. In total I've moved and stayed away from her 3 times for a year at times put it this way I'm currently away from her and it's bringing such a huge strain that now she doesn't know what to do. she doesn't know what to feel or what to say or if she wants to continue this relationship she says that she needs to bring about a way to break down that wall she has with me and pick herself up, before anything... I want to be there to help her mend this, and I'm already two months before finally moving back for good (no more tdy)
I want to be there for her but more than anything I want this relationship to work and because of this wall that she has with me I just don't feel that emotional part anymore she doesn't say those cute little things that you would say to your boyfriend or anything like that, its as if were friends because of this wall... She says she does love me and its just that she feels lost.
I guess what I'm asking is what do i need to do to work on this in order to mend our relationship, and get her to start breaking this wall..
we had a good conversation today she said that she'll make a decision about whether or not she wants to continue this relationship in the next few days,I know I want to we're still talking just incase, and even texting is there anything I can say to help this situation. | my GF(23) and I(24) are about to break up because of the strain of my job and cause we can't get past this stupid wall |
t3_1nv6zi | relationships | I [17M] need advice about weighing the pros and cons | I've been dating my current gf [17f] for a year, and I do like her a lot, love her if thats possible. She is in love with me. But, there are some issues.
She constantly gets bitchy if I do or say something little that most people will just brush off. The little things really get to her. She also won't talk to me for a while if she sees me talking to a girl she doesn't like. She's very immature about certain things like that, and wants a perfect relationship sometimes, high maintenance, i guess.
But, I don't think anyone has ever liked me as much as she does. Just the way she talks to me and acts when we're not arguing proves to me that she really does care about me a ton.
There are also other issues like me not wanting to go to the same college as her, but i'm worried that not being with her would be worse then being with her. What type of questions should I ask myself to make sure I actually want to be with her? | GF and I have been dating a year, have some issues, but she genuinely cares about me, what should I ask myself? |
t3_113d42 | relationships | Friendship interfering with a relationship | Ok so I'm a guy[18], and I have this friend[18f]. And we are best friends. But I've been in love with her for 2 years now. She's known the whole time but we've just stayed super close best friends. We tried dating once a couple months ago but after 2 weeks she said she realize she didn't like me and so we stopped. She is flirty, so we are always cuddling and all. But we act like boyfriend and girlfriend. I go to family things with her. I give her back massages an chocolate on her periods. We hangout 4 times a week. Etc.
But now I started talking to this girl[18](also a friend). And I like her but I just like my friend more and I'm having a hard time being with her. I do like her, I'm just constantly comparing her to my friend. We just are not nearly as close. I don't get many chances to date and haven't for the 2 years I've loved my friend so I don't want to throw away an opportunity. What should I do? | I have a best friend that I'm in love with, but we are just close friends, and it's hard for me to move on and like other people because of it |
t3_2ccreb | personalfinance | Can I take out bigger loans as a successful student? | I am going into my sophomore year of a bachelor's in Electrical Engineering. I have a 3.6 GPA and see no problems academically in my future. However, I'm not sure how I will do all of the financial planning.
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I *should* have the money to get through all of my semesters, but when I do the math, it is coming up tight, so one hiccup with my car or something could derail my finances. That being said, I would like to know if I can take out a decently sized loan to be a security blanket of sorts.
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Also, I've taken out a loan with the school before, and on the application I said I wouldn't need to borrow again, which I thought was the case at the time. Is it okay for me to go through the school's loan system again? | Can I take out a loan somewhere for ~$20k as a successful student with no equity aside from a $5000 car? |
t3_m2un5 | cats | Advice on adopting a second large cat into a 750 sq ft apartment. | Hi r/cats! We were playing with kitties at the shelter again today, and I met a big black kitty named Batman who's been there for a year, and that breaks my heart. When I say big, I mean at least 18-20lbs. Our current kitty (the Captain) is also a big boy, last vet visit he weighed over 15lbs. Since they're both large males we thought they might be compatible, but while the Captain is an angel at home he's antagonistic around other cats. Batman wouldn't be easily picked on. Of course, I'm worried about rivalry, we haven't had any spraying problems yet and I don't want them to start!
So, should we give it a try in a small apartment? We really don't have room for more than 2 litter boxes, and they'd have to be in the same location because the bathroom is too small. I really want to give Batman a home, 750 square feet is a lot better than a small cage! There is plenty of vertical play space, including three windowsills that we made accessible, couches, counters, high shelves, etc.
Thanks in advance for any advice! | We have a huge black kitty and were thinking about adopting another huge black kitty into a small apartment. Potential adoptee has been stuck at the shelter for a year, and is a sweetie. |
t3_158vr2 | relationships | M [30] wants tattoo, Fiance [29] objects. | I am 30 and have zero tattoos. I work in a corporate job and wear a suit to work everyday. For some reason over the last two months, I have became incredibly interested in getting a tattoo. My fiancé absolutely hates tattoos and when I told her of my desire to get a tattoo she got kind of freaked out.
We have probably the most harmonious relationship ever. I have never been in a relationship nor have I been around a couple that has such open communication and has such a great symbiotic relationship.
So when she expressed her issue with me getting a tattoo I told her that she is putting me in a difficult spot because I value our harmony so much and I do not want the tattoo to be a constant source of annoyance or anguish for her. I also mentioned to her from a game theory perspective, if I allow everytime she gets really upset or has a major issue to win a disagreement, I am setting a bad precedent for bargaining in our relationship.
Her response was that since she is agreeable with nearly everything, she is btw, (guys time, gambling, martial arts training), when she has a genuine issue with something, I should really take that into account and act accordingly (my words not hers).
So now I do not know what to do, I still want this tattoo (still in the process of finding an artist), but I don't want to have any problems, and I don't think her feelings are going to change.
Guide me r/relationships | I want tattoo, fiancé hates tattoos. I don't want to cause any problems in otherwise great relationship but also don't want fiancé using that as trump card for consistently getting her way. |
t3_30c1ef | relationships | Me [22F] with my BF [23 M] 1 yr, Boundaries too much to ask? | So, my boyfriend and I have been dating a year, and generally it's been fine. However, as of late I found out about a female friend of his whom he had had a sexual relationship with in the past. Ordinarily I would/have been fine with this, but he lied about their history for the entirety of our relationship. Since then, our relationship has not been the same, although I am working towards trusting him more (although I feel like he doesn't do anything to help)
Recently, this girl has come up again in the context of Facebook. They have started talking again online, and I am very uneasy of this. To boot, she posted on his wall asking him to send her some drawings. (My boyfriend does have a public account on FB with his artwork that she can view anytime.)
I immediately took issue with this and told him that it made me uncomfortable and I felt that they had no boundaries. I brought up the fact that their platonic boundary had been crossed several times in the past, and that something needed to be done now so she knows that certain requests are out of the question. My boyfriend is also writing a children's book and will be self-publishing it. He plans to give the first copy to her and pay for the copy himself.
They do not have a dating history, just a purely physical & friendly one. They also have not spoken that much in the past year (since we got together) and I find it suspect that all of a sudden she wants things drawn just for her and is in contact again. I told my boyfriend he needed to set some boundaries with her and he outright refused, saying he didn't feel that way towards her. We ended up getting into one of the worst fights we've ever had, and we are now on 'break' I suppose.
My question is, was I too demanding in asking him to establish a simple boundary with her? To be clear, I am not demanding he not talk to her, just explain that I do not feel comfortable with her asking for drawings and he fulfilling them. To me, it seems that anything she wants, he gives with no question while I must beg for any simple requests I have. | BF's friend/ex-fuck buddy asked him for a personal drawing out of nowhere and is back in contact. I am uneasy, want boundaries to be set. Who's wrong/right? |
t3_26p0en | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] 5 years, fallout over a "near-miss" infidelity. | Hi all.
I have quite a big problem and hope you guys can help me. My girlfriend went out to a "hen-party" the other night (for those not familiar, a party before one of her best mates got married) and they ended up back at her friends house where someone had organised a male stripper/whatever. I knew this would happen beforehand and, seeing as its a one-off thing and I trust(ed) my girlfriend I really wasn't too bothered.
However, at about 1am I (along with about ~25 other friends) was sent a "SnapChat" (essentially a digital self-destructing image) of my girl on her knees in front of the stripper (who was naked by this point). She swears that absolutely nothing untoward happened and it was just a bit of fun. I do believe her, one because I really doubt she'd do something like that and two because I'm pretty sure (?) most male strippers don't do anything physical with the people they perform for.
The reaction from almost everyone who received the image has been ridicule aimed at me and her, which I'm really annoyed about. So even if she didn't do what the image would imply (i.e. oral sex on the guy) people still think she did and it's made me look like a total idiot - but I feel bad for considering ending things considering I'm pretty certain she didn't do that.
my mate took a screenshot and sent me it: deleted by mod request.
Jen is awkwardly in front of the stripper on the RHS of the picture but you can't see what the hell is happening. | Girlfriend involved in near-miss infidelity situation, to end or not to end? How to proceed from here? |
t3_3f675e | relationships | My boyfriend's [26M] best friend and roommate [26M] took his life this morning. Please tell me how I [21F] can help him! | My boyfriend of over a year and a half lost his best friend this morning by a self-inflicted gunshot. They lived together. His best friend left behind two young boys. My boyfriend is very close with his family and one of the baby-mamas. My boyfriend saw the gore but was not the initial witness.
I have reason to believe drugs were involved; drugs that my boyfriend used to struggle with before we met and dated. My boyfriend, an ex-smoker of this year smoked a whole pack of cigs in about two hours. Is this a red flag?
I fear he will self-destruct as his current, mutual friends are all involved in narcotics too. Please explain to me the warning signs I should look for and inform me of resources I can push on him. I'm already looking at common ground grief counselors but I'm at a loss at what else I can do. I feel hopeless and unhelpful.
Thanks in advance. | My boyfriend lost his best friend. I want to help him through his grief the right way. I want to steer him away from possible destructive habits. Please help. |
t3_4f9xl1 | relationships | When she [21F] refers to you [21M] as her husband/boyfriend, is this closer to joking around or flirting? | I'm pretty clueless when it comes to girls in regards to flirting/advances, but I've had several girls over the past year or so do this to me. Jokingly say like 'can you like be my husband', or call me their boyfriend. It's all done while kinda laughing and joking, and I'm just straight up confused whether it's just casual joking or something more. All these girls have been of similar age to me so roughly 18-21.
For instance I was at a university party last night and was talking to this girl I just met who then started introducing me jokingly as her boyfriend to other people and kinda dance around the topic jokingly saying things like 'husband, wedding etc'
Maybe I give off some insane husband material vibe or I'm just over analysing a bit of drunken banter. Anyone care to shed some light? | Several girls have jokingly referred to me as their boyfriend/husband. Does this imply they are interested in me or just joking around? |
t3_1qnpnp | AskReddit | How can I help people feel less intimidated by me in college? | So I go to a engineering/math based school, which means the population of students is mostly 1) asian 2) male and 3) nerdy. The fact that I'm in the math program amplifies it even more.
I find this awesome! The only problem is that no one ever talks to or sits beside me! The lecture room will be absolutely full, but the two seats on either side of me will be empty (No, I don't smell bad!). I'm white, a female, and I don't look like the nerdiest person in the world.
I've talked to my friends about this and they say that I just seem intimidating before you get to know me. A few of guys said they felt as if they weren't "worthy" of talking to me, because I seemed like I wouldn't give someone like them the time of day. THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT THEY SAID. And I don't know why people feel that way! I don't have a bitchy resting face-- I'm always smiling. So if the social people I know felt this way, I can see why none of the shy ones in my program talk to me.
How do I make myself seem more approachable? | People never talk to me because apparantly I seem like I wouldn't give them the time of day. How do I change the vibe that I **accidentally** give off? |
t3_ot94m | AskReddit | How can I tell my mother she's causing more harm than preventing it? [full story inside] | So, back when my sister hit grade 8 and my brother hit grade 9, they decided to join up on Facebook, as do most kids that age nowadays. Now, my mother is the most "computer illiterate" (as she puts it) person on the face of this planet, but she decided to jump into Facebook too.
Well, since she's active in my sister's school, and since she's on Facebook, all my sister's friends and classmates took to her as "the cool mom" and friend requested her.
Flash ahead to a few months later, and for some reason, my mom's rules state that she has to have my brother and sister's Facebook passwords to "make sure they're safe". If they decline, then they can't go on their computers. My mom has stepped into multiple facebook arguments costing my sister friends. I mean, it's gotten bad to the point where my sister was generally well-liked and had a lot of friends. She'd spend hours on Facebook socializing and loved going to school and helping people. But now, because of what my mom's been doing, she's down to double-digit friends (I know most of you [including me] are like "who gives a shit" but this is apparently a big thing for teenage girls so bear with me), and is subject to bullying at school. My mom seems to think it's keeping them safe, and maybe it's the "if she pulled this shit with me..." inside me going off, but isn't this a little too much? | Sister losing friends and getting bullied because mother keeps getting involved in her Facebook shit. How can I tell her to back off without "telling her how to be a parent" ? |
t3_50jocn | relationship_advice | I [27/M] accidentally ignored a friend's [22/F] text, now she ghosted me. How can I salvage it? | So this girl I've known for about 3 months, going on 4. We've talk nearly every day.
So Monday, we were having a short conversation. She then followed up and asked me how my day was. She sent the text at 11PM. I was out playing Pokemon Go in the park, so I didn't respond right away. By the time I got done playing Pokemon, it was already 1AM. So I didn't text her back until I woke up the next afternoon. I replied back with "It was alright. Did some work, played some more pokemon go, lol. Wbu?"
She never replied back. And it's been almost 24 hours. The thing is, I think I scared her with my Pokemon Go obsession. I talk about it a lot. She knows a little about it, but shows very little interest in it whenever I bring it up. I just don't have any friends to talk to about it, so I talked to her about it, since she knows at least a little bit. (She ended up giving up on it weeks ago, after the Go craze ended)
Anyway, I feel like the friendship can be salvaged since I didn't do anything too damning. Got any ideas on what I can do? | Waited 14 hours to respond to a text due to it being late, and due to pokemon go. Now she's taking even longer. What should I do? |
t3_2sfwsz | tifu | TIFU by sending an e-mail with the wrong account | So technically this didn't happen today, but it was still a pretty bad fuckup. When I was in eight grade, I had a silly YouTube channel (Lets call it "...Gaming"). I was not very open about my YouTube channel due to the fact that most people would find it stupid that I made videos about video games, I would only tell my closest friends.
Fast-forward to English class. The teacher had assigned homework that we had to complete and e-mail her with the homework attached. So I go home, complete the homework, and send her the homework via gmail. Everything goes smoothly, until I get to class the next day. The teacher had this habit of announcing who she received the homework from and she would read the sender's name on her e-mail. She was going down the list, and she didn't call out my name, confused, I just sat silent assuming she saw it but didn't care enough to say it out loud.
Two minutes later, she says "Who is ...Gaming?" "...Gaming, anyone know him?". It turns out, being the clumsy person I am, I sent it through my "YouTube E-Mail" instead of my personal e-mail. At this point my face is glaring red, and then shit hits the fan. "(my name), are you ...Gaming? Everyone has submitted it apart from you". At this point, I have no idea what to say. I let out a quiet and uncomfortable "yes...", meanwhile the whole class is laughing at me. | English teacher assigns homework that must be sent via e-mail. I send it through my secret YouTube e-mail. Teacher reads YouTube name out loud. Everyone finds out about my YouTube. |
t3_1fo056 | relationships | Me (f20) and bf (m20) are in a rut and can't seem to get out. Suggestions? | We have been together for over a year and we are in love, but we can't seem to get over this lull we are in. We have mellowed out and have become boring almost. We argued for a month straight and it killed us. We aren't sure where to go from here. We don't want to keep fighting and be boring, and thus far the only option we could find is taking a break. Which I thought about and it seems like a good idea, to take a break, but its not what I want and I don't think it will really fix the problem. Help! | In a rut for the last couple months of our over a year relationship. We need the spark back. Help please :) |
t3_xu3wu | relationships | When can cheating be something surmountable in a relationship? (19m/19m) | We have been together for a year now, but we are long distance during the summer.
My boyfriend cheated on me about a month ago. He has been a miserable mess since, and he broke down last night with the full details of what happened. He was at a 4th of July party and drunkenly made out with another guy before falling asleep. I didnt know these details until yesterday, and I hate that it took him this long to tell me, but he appears to be so miserably sorry. He says that it is the greatest mistake he has ever made, and that he was afraid to tell me all the details because he couldnt come to terms with it himself. He still says that he loves me, and obviously this is a gigantic trust violation. Would it be wrong of me to see how it plays out, to see if he can get his act together? I honestly think he learned his lesson, but I have to wonder why it even happened in the first place. He claims that it was his "confusion and stupid vulnerability" having gone to a party hosted by the guy that he KNEW had a romantic interest in him. Does this mean he doesnt love me like he says he does? Can people change from this kind of thing? Is it stupid that I believe him when he says that he loves me? I'm not letting this slide under the rug at all, but I do want to try a road toward recovery. | Boyfriend told me that he cheated on me and that he has never been more miserably sorry. Can we work toward recovery. Does ending it *have* to be the option? |
t3_23m0l9 | relationships | I [21/F] cheated on my boyfriend [21/M] and now I don't know what to do. | I have already told that I have problems with commitment in this relationship (
Basically I have wanted to be single for a long time, and I don't know how to go on with my relationship. Couple of days ago I did the thing I feared I could do. I was abroad with friends and we got super drunk. At 8 am one of my friends (22/M) and I were still awake and decided to go to a park to drink the last beers. Before going to sleep, outside our hostel dorm, I said to him "please don't tell anyone about this" and kissed him. That was all, and I'm glad that it didn't go further, but still, it was cheating and I was selfishly hurting my boyfriend.
The worst part is not the kiss itself but the fact that I have a huge crush on the guy I kissed. I can't think of anything but him. The kiss was super short and I have only blurry memories of it, but it keeps me up at night because it was so excitingly wonderful.
The thing between the guy and me is completely over now (if there even was one), because I know an affair would be a horrible choice and changing boyfriends would be almost as bad and it wouldn't help me with my biggest problem.
I have noticed that I am helplessly addicted to crushing on people and to have new relationships. It just gives me feelings so strong I can't sleep at night and my heart is racing, and it feels better than anything else in the world. I just cannot reach the feeling with my boyfriend, who nowadays annoys me to no end and feels dull, stupid and non-fitting for me.
I don't exactly know what kind of advice I want. Has anyone similar feelings? Feel free to bash me, cheating is the worst and I hate myself right now. | I kissed another guy and now I can't stop thinking about him. I don't know what's going to happen in my relationship. |
t3_1ahtg9 | relationship_advice | [21/M] I've been sort of dating this girl, [22/F] LD for a while, and while I feel like I love her...I question it..often. | So, I know I could have posted in /r/longdistance, but I figured I need advice or words of encouragement from this group.
I met this girl online three years ago. We haven't met face-to-face yet due to our lives just being busy, she takes care of her family and I'm a full time student also working part time/free lancing. We have an end date of next year in May, when I graduate.
I adore this girl. From the moment we met, there was this chemistry that I had never experienced before. I haven't had too many relationships but I can say that she has been more amazing than any girl I've met. Here's my struggling issue.
We don't have everything in common. I'm very much a nerd and she is just sort of into the mainstream and few things she's been exposed to. She isn't closed minded, which helps, but I often get very excited about new music or movies and I always have to give her a back story or explanation on this stuff before I can get her on the level that I'm at. It can be frustrating. Example. I was attending a Music festival in my city this past week and made a few jokes in regards to hipsters. She lauded at them...but then after a few more, she said.."I don't really get these jokes..I'm not certain what a hipster is." So..she was just laughing to make me feel good but having to explain hipster was rough. To a point where I just got annoyed and kind of left our conversation hanging for a bit.
Maybe I'm just complaining to complain, but I feel like in a growing relationship..there should be some growth in commonalities..and with her and I, I've been the only one to make that effort to align with her. | I'm in a relationship with a girl I maybe have 20% things in common with and worried this could end our happy ending before it even happens. |
t3_1niudf | tifu | TIFU By letting PayPal auto fill my info | Let me just start off my saying I work VERY hard for any money that comes my way. I babysit up to 6 kids at any time, watching 2 children full time. I am severely underpaid though. I get MAYBE 20 dollars every few weeks, no matter how often I babysit. (Thanks mom) It's incredibly frustrating to try to save up for things, let alone go out anywhere without wanting something. I finally, after many weeks saved up enough to get some clothes I had been dying to get. Super excited, I go online and pick out all the clothes I want during this great sale. 70 dollars worth of stuff, HOLY SHIET.
SO EXCITING.
I checkout, go through paypal because it's easier, and I don't have my own credit card. Autofill thinking whatevs, the name is right, the number is right, city is right, IS AWL GOOD.
Days pass.
Still waiting.
Da fuq.
I go to the paypal account, everything looks goo-OH MY GOD. Wrong address. Same city, wrong fucking address. Ring up dat ol' PayPal. It's obviously too late to change the address, but meh, I'll just call my old apartment complex and let them know what happened. I explain what happened, they say they'll look for it and call me. Yay! Wrong. It didn't arrive in a box. Instead the mailman (i'm assuming) shoved it into some tiny ass mailbox and gave it to whoever lives in that apartment now. I call the place I ordered the clothes from to see if there's anything I can do. No insurance on the package, can't do shit. I hope that whoever lives in that apartment is damn happy having such amazing clothes. | I gifted some random person 70 dollars worth of clothing, which I worked very hard to be able to afford. Crying. |
t3_4odxff | relationships | I [15f] found out that my best friend [16m] was getting abused by his brother[20m] | I overheard my mom talking about what recently happened to my friend, Jack. His brother would make Jack do chores like clean his room, do the dishes, etc. and if he didn't, his brother, Mike, would beat him. His brother would always drag Jack from his room at like 3 in the morning when their mom was sleeping, and drag him to the living room and hit him. The only way their mom found out was because she woke up to the sound of him hitting Jack.
This all happened after the divorce between their parents around a year ago. After the divorce their mom completely when crazy on a midlife crisis thing and she almost never really paid that much attention to her sons. Jack was almost completely alone during this, because both his parents really couldn't give a shit about him.
He's okay, for now. He's at his dad's place, and his dad even apologized to him for neglecting him. There's no legal action that his parents are going to take against Mike though, and Mike's literally going to be living in a different apartment for FREE away from his brother, because of bullshit like "he's his brother, he's family, blah blah blah" This all happned super recently, so everyone is just shocked. I mean, I went on family vacations with them, and I borrowed Mike's magazines all the time, and Mike taught all of us how to play video games, and everyone used to be happy and ok until it all went to shit.
I'm not even supposed to know this. How can I help my friend during this time? I don't go to the same school as Jack, so I can only talk to him when we play league or we have family gatherings. I haven't really played with Jack for a while though, because he didn't really go on league for a while, probably because his shit brother was fucking beating him. I'm just so heartbroken, how can I help him? | My best friend was getting abused by his older brother, and now we all found out. I'm not supposed to know, how can i help him? |
t3_1s4adv | Pets | Cat won't stop biting my wife (only while she sleeps) | Really struggling to figure this one out so hoping someone can help. We have two cats who are both overall amazing. One of them was a rescue from a young age and absolutely adores my wife - follows her around, drops everything to lay on her chest for hours, sleeps cuddled up next to her, etc. Stuff he does with no one else so I know he favors her.
Issue - He's just over 2 years old now, and starting 6 months or so ago he has started biting her (and only her) almost every night around 4am. We thought he must be hungry, so we would make sure they had food/feed them. Didn't change anything; the bites would come an hour or two after. Tried tiring him out by playing more and especially playing/feeding before bed, didn't work either. Seems almost unrelated to play. Spray bottles and loud noise deterrents aren't very effective in my opinion and definitely not in the middle of the night, but we have tried locking him out of the room or into another room and that too just results in him crying at the door nonstop for hours, acting like he's been abandoned.
Its escalated to the point that almost every night around this time she will be woken up by him standing over her and snapping at her hands or face (leaving marks). She yelps and wakes us up, then either pushes him away or places him off the bed and onto the ground sternly and tries to ignore him. I usually end up trying to put my arms around her and basically shield her face for awhile and after an hour or so of sleepless tension he stops trying to crawl onto her and walks away. Regardless of what happens in that hour, he comes back later and snuggles up to her like nothing happened. If the attacks make her get up, he doesn't go running for the food bowl or for toys or give any indication that he actually wanted anything to begin with.
Has anyone else experienced this or has any ideas for what else we could try? | otherwise extremely affectionate 2 yr old cat, happily fed and played with, bites my wife without warning almost every night and nothing we try will stop it. |
t3_353cni | relationships | Me [21 F] just found out my best friend [21 F] is hooking up with my ex [21 M] | I dated my boyfriend for 3 years until we broke up 5 months ago. It was hard but needed to be done. It was a very serious relationship and we were both sad to see it end. I met my friend, Krista a year into college, she lived on my (now ex) boyfriends floor. They were good friends, and then me and her got extremly close.
After the break up she was incredibly supportive. It was us against the world, just two single girls who were ready for adventure. She stayed friends with my ex, which i accepted considering they were friends first. She promised me multiple times nothing would ever happen.
Cue yesterday, after hanging out and planning our trip to Europe, she says she has something to tell me. She admits her and my ex have been hooking up and that she doesnt plan on stopping. She said they care about each other and that shes sorry, its just been a while since shes had someone to be with. I was very distraught and shut down.
She left. Where do i go from here? How do we talk about this? she said they're not going to start a relationship because it would "ruin their friendship". Shes been my rock these past 5 months, and i feel so betrayed. I dont really know how to confront her considering that she already said shes going to keep doing it despite my feelings. Next semester we're taking all the same classes, so it'll be impossible to avoid her | best friend hooking up with ex, how do i approach this? is there even anything to talk about with her? |
t3_vl8nw | AskReddit | A man almost died in the aisle next to me on a plane mid-flight, but two doctors came to his rescue. What's the most heroic thing you've ever seen? | I was startled awake while flying in a plane to Phoenix. Everyone around me was moving around, and trying to look into the walkway. Multiple people were yelling for a doctor as the flight attendants came running from all sides of the plane. It is at this point that I see the man on the ground. He wasn't moving and I could have sworn I saw a wet spot on his pants. It is at this point that I thought he was dead. Finally two men come forward claiming to be doctors. They grabbed medical kits from the flight attendants on did their thing. His wife grabbed hold of the man seated next to her with all her might. I have never seen anything more powerful in my life. The situation was unbearable at this point. Everyone was tense. Focused on the doctors. He finally announced he was awake a breathing. The wife in front of me breathed a sigh of relief. The man remained on the floor as the doctors finished what they had to do.
After everyone was seated and the man who fainted was given oxygen I overheard a flight attendant claim the doctor said the man didn't have a pulse and was afraid he had lost him.
I gained a huge amount of respect for doctors (not that I lacked it before). Their ability to perform when they needed to was incredible. | woke up on a plane to people yelling for a doctor. Two doctors saved a mans life. I watched it all happen. It was amazing. Doctors are awesome. |
t3_3g3idh | Advice | What should I say in this discussion or, how should I make my argument? (Back story below) | So I am just starting a second, year-long contract with my employer. I transferred cities *six months* ago, (as a foreigner in a non-U.S. country). That is important because I transferred from a city in which my employer adjusted everyone's pay because of new tax contributions in that city (i.e. I would have got paid more). But I am not in that city, and my pay was never adjusted because I moved out before the adjustment would have been made.
Fast forward six months later, I get an offer letter explaining the benefits of signing another year-long contract. In this offer letter I see that the bonus equivalent of one month's pay is more than I was originally getting for one month's pay. I thought, "hey, what a nice raise", until I got paid. The month's salary and bonus was the same as the previous month's salary.
So I emailed the person who signed off on that offer letter and they claim it was a mistake because I moved from that city in which everyone's pay was adjusted for an increase in taxes. I explained to her and her manager that the offer letter states that it takes precedence over all other documents and that I did not make any mistake, so I don't need to pay for this mistake. The big manager replied saying that the person will schedule a time for a discussion with me. How should I approach this discussion? and how should I argue my case? | Employer CLAIMs to have screwed up in my favor, now they are trying to walk it back even though the legal documents favor me. Now they want to "have a discussion with me". How should I argue my case? |
t3_4rugaj | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 2 months, encountering issues due to external factors | My gf and I haven't been together for very long (obviously), and I'm aware of that. I'm still in the honeymoon phase, and she isn't, which kind of leads me to texting her far more than she likes.
She left to be a counselor at a camp for 4 days, everything seemed to be going well, and due to a terrible situation, a kid at the camp died of drowning.
I tried to be there as much as I could for my gf, but the whole thing has made her close off. She didn't text me at all the day after the event, in which I texted very sparsely, until the evening where she said we need to talk. To add to this, I'm weird about death in that I've been to a lot of funerals and a lot of people I knew had died, so I tend to be... insensitive? Not rude, but I don't dwell on death for long at all, especially for someone I didn't know.
I'm worried that she's breaking up with me. Maybe I'm overbearing, and her dealing with a death while I'm trying to be sensitive to it is driving it, or maybe it's just her trying to cope with it, or it could be any other factor. I'm so lost and need some advice. | Someone died at camp; girlfriend no longer talking to me and possibly breaking up with me. I'm not sensitive with death. Help! |
t3_14plo3 | relationships | GF(21) confused about her love and our relationship (21M) | So I recently broke up with my gf of 2 years. She admitted to me she isn't happy in our relationship and doesn't feel the same way as she did before and is confused about us. To make matters worse she likes one of her coworkers (22M) and is contributing into her confusion. She tells me she sees us getting married and she tells me we will get back together she just doesn't know when. When I ask her about the other she tells me she isn't interested in being in a relationship right now and also tells me she hasn't cheated on me either or has even gone on dates with the coworker. Am I making a mistake in believing we will get back together? I am her first serious relationship she has had and I really do love her. | GF of to years is confused about our relationship and likes one of her coworkers she tells me we will get back together and she sees herself marrying me. |
t3_32kaeu | relationships | My friend from school (24m) really embarrassed me in front of my (25f) peers. | Hello, thanks for reading. I'm a 25 f in a male dominated field, its quite a sausage festival in my program but I have made some great friends. one of those friends "m" really crossed a boundary with me on Friday. M has been a good enough friend to me, and we go to class together and work together cause I got him a job since he was hard up for cash. I also know he has a crush on me, I have told him before that I'm not interested.
I had a few friends from my program plus my other friends at my birthday, including m. We had a lot of fun, m told me again that he liked me that night and I told him that I knew that already. The following friday we all went for a pint at the college bar. We were all just shooting the shit and celebrating the end of the week; there were about 6 of us there. Suddenly m turns to me and loudly exclaims "hey f, do you hate me? Sometimes I feel like you have some deep seeded resentment toward me or something, what's that all about?" I was taken aback and the whole table fell silent. I was embarrassed by this. I said to him "well I just know that you like me so I am taking a step back." That's when he hits me with this " well you told me you were gay on your birthday so I took that as a fuck off". I never said this. I remember the whole night of my birthday. I'm not gay and that's not an excuse I would use. I have no problem telling people I am not interested and what he said was mortifying. He also tries to poke me all the time. The following Monday I took him aside privately and told him how shitty it was for him to do that infront of our peers.
My question is where do i go from here? We have another semester together and are in all of the same classes. I feel extremely
uncomfortable around him now. How should I proceed?
Also, apologies for the formatting and stuff, I'm on my cellphone. | classmate said really u comfortable thing to me in front of my friends the other day. How should I go from here? |
t3_2xvxna | relationships | My the girl I've been seeing [22 F] had an abortion with mine and didn't tell me [26 M] until the appointment | I've been seeing this girl for about half a year now and she's been a lot of fun to be with. It's all been great, but this just made everything explode.
I got a text from her one day about a week ago saying she was pregnant. A text. I immediately tried to be supportive of decision, and was prepared to discuss it.
But then she told me she was going to the appointment for the abortion that day. I was stunned, I thought I'd at least get a word. I wanted to come but she wouldn't have it.
After that I tried to do the right thing, I paid for half of the cost of the visit and tried to be supportive.
The night she took the medication, she was struggling with its effect and had a nursing class the next day. I wrote a five page paper on Alarm Fatigue for her that night because she couldn't do it in time.
I tried to do the right thing every step of the way, but now she wants nothing to do with me. The thought of me makes her think of what happened, she says.
What am I supposed to do? | My girlfriend of half a year had an abortion. Didnt know she was pregnant until she had already made the appointment. It was mine. |
t3_52eu0o | relationships | I [F20] have no job and boyfriend of 1yr [M25] is stressing me out. | I met my boyfriend 1 year ago and moved in with him in November last year. I lived with my parents before that and had just gotten out of depression. My boyfriend had a steady work and I started to look for one too. I found a restaurant where I work a few hours a month when they're short on people, but that's not even close to good enough.
I was planning on studying this autumn, but since the school changed the required degrees in last minute, so did my plans on going there.
My boyfriend just quit his job to study and we currently live on my small pay (200$) and a loan (1300$).
I have a really hard time finding a job. I've been applying for about 3-5 every week and has either not gotten responses or a clear "no, we're not hiring right now" from the managers.
Worth mentioning is that I easily get anxiety and have a hard time working with people, so I clearly don't belong helping elderly or handicapped where it could be a danger to them.
I feel lile I'm doing all I can to get a job, but my boyfriend is still always on my back nagging and telling me to "get over my anxiety" and "stop whining". (it sometimes feel psychically abusive)
I don't know what else to do. I tried to put together a portfolio (digital art) and hope that I get jobs with what I got there, but he just brushed it as "hobbies" and "for fun" since I have no higher education in the subject.
Help, reddit.. I don't want our relationship to end because I don't have a job. it is making us both really stressed out..
Any tips on jobs, relationship tips, CV, anything is appreciated, or is it clearly to no avail? | Im trying to get a job (with no results) and boyfriend is stressing me out (feels like he's psychically "abusing" me). Tips and help to get a job or should I just leave the relationship? |
t3_t7z14 | AskReddit | What would you do if you found out your ex has leukemia? | **The back story**- I posted a few days ago to r/breakups about breaking up with my ex.
The post-
I'm 19 years old and my now ex-boyfriend is 29 years old. We met in August and started dating in January.
My ex was loving, attentive, and absolutely crazy about me. The issues began a bit after we started dating. His jealousy flared up, he became clingy and irrational... I felt like a babysitter because he would work himself up into a panic attack any time he thought I would break up with him.
He is also not in a place typical of a nearly 30 year old man. He moved back home, works a crappy job, and did not finish school. He was perfectly content with his lifestyle until I came along.
The combination of his behavior and lifestyle forced me to give him an ultimatum. I told him that if he didn't shape up, I'll have to move on. I love him very much and it hurt me to do this, but I thought he had the strength to pull through.
Two weeks have gone by since the ultimatum and the most he has done was start acupuncture treatments. He was recommended many psychiatrists for his issues and claims to have called them over the past two weeks, but nobody was getting back to him. This did not seem like a legitimate excuse and I believe he was just putting it off or "forgetting".
Enough was enough and after asking for a break two days ago, I broke things off the following day because of another irresponsible action. | I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday due to him not trying to resolve his emotional issues as furiously as I would have liked and it became an anchor on my life. |
t3_2ms6zm | relationships | (21 M) Upset about girlfriends (20 F) sexual past | So, yesterday I asked my girlfriend how many sexual partners she has had since it has been on my mind(I was a virgin before her). She said she has had 10 partners. That alone is not what bothers me. Three of them were boyfriends(I don't think that these bother me at all). The others are what bother me. They were all either drunken one night stands or just friends she had sex with a few times. They all happened within a few months and were right before she met me. She said she was drunk for most of them and can't even remember two of them. This is what really upsets me. It seems dangerous and like she has no regard for herself or standards for who she will have sex with. She also said she has almost never refused a guy who was persistent. She said she beats herself up for it but this is not what I want. I feel really upset and anxious and need some help because I'm afraid it will destroy our relationship. I also cannot help but to feel unspecial. | I am upset by my girlfriends sexual past but I don't think it comes from the typical place of jealousy like some posts I have read. |
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