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t3_3q3z14 | tifu | TIFU by drinking vegetable oil. | ok so this weekend i went to visit my parents agian because i moved back to my home town and im just able to visit them more on the weekends to see how things are going. it was late and i decided to stay the night and i wanted a drink so i went down to the kitchen and raided the pantry for anything to drink. on the shelf was a big bottle port so i swiped it down popped the cork and took a swig little did i know that my mother puts old fryer oil in old bottles so it dose not attract rats when she throws it out. it was so disgusting i threw up in the open dish washer and ruined my fathers smokey and the bandit mug so i swiftly threw it out and now tomorrow while i get someone to clean the dishwasher i have to distract my family by taking them out for the day. any good movies i should take them to? | i drank what i thought was port but turns out it was vegetable oil and i threw up in a smokey and the bandit mug. |
t3_4gxjin | Advice | Complicated Feelings/Friend Situation | Me: 21 yrs old, male.
One of my current close close friends and I had a "thing" a while ago, we didn't have sex but we hooked up in other regards for about 2 months. at the end of that year she lost hers to a senior and i was kinda devastated as i had fallen for her completely.
a few years went by, i got over her somewhat and stopped being depressed. she found a boyfriend and they have been dating for almost 2 years. about 9 months ago another guy (we'll call him bob) who she met over the summer started hitting on her pretty hard (he knew she had a boyfriend) he even went so far as to literally tell her she should dump her current boyfriend and be with bob, in a way that most of our friend groups thought was pretty uncool.
her long term boyfriend is leaving at the end of this school year and they have begun their separation and are currently in an open relationship, she is also currently "kind of seeing" bob. my problem is that for the past few months I've been having some pretty strong feelings for her also. We're very close, and frequently stay up late talking or just hanging out (but not in a best friend whom she tells everything way). anyway my whole friend group knows we used to hook up and that im really into her and also none of them like her long term bf or bob AT ALL and are pushing me to make a move on her. the one problem is she is and easily overwhelmed person who often has trouble with emotions.
I also don't feel like i should bury my feelings. I'm a very emotionally stable person, but what i feel for her isn't something I've felt about a lot of people in my life. I honestly just want whats best for her and for her to be happy. so here's my question: should i tell her how i feel even though her situation is already really complicated and she is easily overwhelmed, or do i risk being "frienzoned" or overlooked by this girl, because it would be easier for her? how should i approach this? | close friend who used to be more is in an open relationship and also "kinda seeing" another guy neither of whom our friends like . i have pretty strong feelings for her, but she is emotionally unstable. what should i do? |
t3_1v8xx3 | relationship_advice | (M/18) My girlfriend(18) of three years is talking with her ex boyfriend again and its really bothering me. | Let me get started by saying that the past few weeks of our relationship hasnt been going to well. We have been fighting over stupid stuff and she started talking to this one boy who I know she finds more attractive than me, and she is talking with her ex now. It confuses me why, because during our entire relationship she has been saying how she hates his soul and only wishes death upon him. But now she talks with him about her past with him and stuff. Well she nows that bothers me and that i had problems letting go of her past relationship. But she yells at me and continues to talk to him. She broke up with me a few weeks ago and we got back together but im afraid of what might happen. | me and girl have been dating for 3 years, she breaks up with me gets back together, then starts talking to ex as she knows it saddens me |
t3_1umot1 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [27 F] of 1 year, slowly dissapating | We've been together over a year now, and everything has been an amazing experience. She is a fairly independent person though and has trouble with being in a relationship for a long period of time. The commitment and fear of losing her freedom in the long run, along with not seeing the purpose of marriage (even though she knows I'm not even considering it) is now ruining our relationship.
She says she still loves me, and cares about me but wants to take a week to spend time on her own to think things over. We talked and want to rewind a bit to try and "re-spark" that feeling we got at the beginning, but also slow things down since neither of us are trying to get married. It's mostly on her shoulders at this point, but she did ask that given we stay together that I give her more space (we see each other 3-4 days a week) and lead more. We share the same hobbies and interests, and honestly I don't know how we got to this point but things have to change.
I've been given a second chance. I love her. How best do I approach this? | GF wants to take a break for a week to reevaluate what up until this point has been a great relationship. Fear of commitment is giving her second thoughts. We're going to reconnect in a week and hope for the best. |
t3_aui59 | AskReddit | Reddit, is it worth going into debt to go back to school? | I have about a year to decide if I wanna go back to school, I attempted it after I got out of highschool ( I'm 21 going on 22 in April ) but didn't do so well as I was really focused on other things, and it just seemed like "more school" at the time and I regret not finishing it.
Now I am in a position, where I'm happy with my life, I make just over $30k a year before taxes, but reddit has sparked an interest I didn't know I had in physics and it is something I have been wanting to pursue.
Does anyone have any advice on going back to school? I feel like I'm going to go into a good bit of debt since I don't believe I'll qualify for any scholarships being out of school for so long and I'm not sure if it will be worth it in the long run. | Is it worth going into a good bit of debt to major in condensed matter physics? And does anyone have advice on ways to possibly reduce the cost? |
t3_ujo4k | dating_advice | She Doesn't Initiate | I've been dating a girl for a little over 3 weeks. It's been going great. We connect in a lot of areas and it's always fun when we hangout. We text almost every day and the messages are long and engaging. We have been intimate and everything seems to be moving very well.
My concern is that initiating communication and physical contact are up to me. She hasn't communicated with me unless I contacted her first. When we hangout, it is up to me to make the move for a hug, kiss, make out, sexy time, etc. I know that she is experienced with previous relationships so I'm just kind of surprised that she is so passive. I would like for her to be a little more engaging.
Is there anything I can do to try and get her to initiate some of the communication or physical contact? Are some girls just like this?
I'm a 25 male
She is a 22 female | This chick is really passive regarding initiating communication and physical contact. I would like for her to be more engaging. Any ideas on how to get her to do this? Are some girls just this passive? |
t3_4hogm7 | relationship_advice | Me (22M) broke up with my SO [20F] of 4 and a half year. I never broke up with someone before, i dont know how to feel or what to do. | I broke up with my So of 4 and and a half years this morning. We have been living together the last 2 years. I've had a nagging feeling that I dont love her as I used to, even though i still really really care about her, for a couple of months now. I've delayed the breakup and tried to get things to work even though we had fights and discussions about us, about moving from our flat to a city 24 hours away and about a lot of stuff.
I never broken up with someone before, I feel bad, almost like i regret it. I want to go to bed and wake up with her, at the same time I dont. I want to be alone, I need to be alone and grow as a person. Do things by myself and by my own planning and initative, even if its folding laundry, shopping grocieries or whatever. At the same time i feel so guilty for hurting her like this, and I feel like a dont deserve her love or affection because I dont feel it towards her in the same way. I still care about her a lot.
What should I do? How do I deal with these issues? Are there anyone else that have been trough something like this? | Me (22M) broke up with my SO [20F] of 4 and a half year. I never broke up with someone before, i dont know how to feel or what to do. |
t3_1bmijp | AskReddit | How do I kick my best friend of 20+ years out of my parents house? | Longish backstory:
"Max" is 30 years old and despite going to college and getting a decent degree, hasn't been able to find work in his field. He bounced around various part-time jobs in his 20s, until his parents sold their house and moved back to Columbia. He stayed with them for a few years and we lost touch.
Out of the blue he called me a few months ago, said he was coming back to the states and needed a place to crash. I don't live in the DC area anymore so I asked my parents if he could stay with them. They agreed, since they'd known him for 20+ years and knew him as a good kid (no drugs, no alcohol, fairly religious, etc.). However, it was supposed to be a short-term one-time deal (e.g. no more than 2 months). He stayed with them for about a month until he landed a job somewhere in the mid-west. My folks were supportive of his decision, and even drove him around DC to try and find a decent car to make the trek out to his new life. He called me a few weeks ago after he got there, said he was hesitant about the job (money, passion, etc.) but said he'd keep working on it.
Then today I get a phone call from my parents. He called them and said he was back in DC, had quit the job he had just started, and wanted to know if he could stay with them again. My parents agreed but have been calling me non-stop asking me to deal with him. He needs to go, but I don't how to deal with it.
Help me reddit, | My best friend crashed at my parents for a month, moved out to start his new life, but bailed and is back crashing with my folks. How do I make him go? |
t3_2p7yfi | relationships | I [17M] have self esteem issues and social anxiety, and can't make a move on crush [17F] | So, I'm on my second year of highschool. During my first year I used to sit besides one of my best friends, but my class was split in half this year and we merged with another one. That way, the classes were sitting in the same classroom, but each half in a different side of the room, so the teachers mixed the seats up to make the 2 classes closer and ease the integration of both sides.
Anyway,I end up sitting next to this girl I haven't seen since elementary, and wow, she's different now. We actually used to sit side by side back then as well, but now it's different, she looks so much more interesting and beautiful, which makes her pretty popular around here, but also makes her seem like way out of my league... During this term I got to know her a bit better, and talk to her and so on, and I usually make her laugh. A lot.
But that's it. Due to my social anxiety and trust/self esteem issues, all I can say is stupid and funny stuff, I had so many opportunities to say something cute or just straight up flirting, but couldn't because of those problems. I really would like to make a move on her, but I have no idea how.
School ends next tuesday, and a few days later she's going abroad to spend the holidays, maybe getting her phone number or getting confident to send her a message on facebook or so would be cool. I'm also really afraid of fucking up because it would make weird sitting besides her if things don't go well, I have some examples of how bad that is in my class.
On a side note, I was placed next to her because I have good grades and hers don't really match her study and her capabilities, so I help her a lot in most classes. | I sit next to my classes popular , I know her since elementary and want to make a move until tuesday, but can't due to social anxiety and self esteem issues... |
t3_13s1ms | AskReddit | My wife is pregnant, she is into full depression, she hates the baby so much and she doesn't know why! Please advise | We got married 2 years ago. When I first know her around 5 years ago, a lot of dramatic events took turn in our lives. 2 months after our engagement, her mother died after a long suffering of illness. A few months later she found out that she was HCV positive, we got married 6 months after the diagnosis and started the treatment right after our honey moon. During the treatment she went into a depression but this, as explained by the doctor, was because of Interferon the HCV treatment. She doesn't have a lot of friends or friends among the family members. Since we first met, she started to heavily rely on me for even her tiny everyday errands. I was like a father to her not just a fiancee. It's safe to say that she is too attached to me. Now I'm away from home, working in another country, left her for two months then got her a visit visa for 3 months, the got back home together for my dad's funeral, and then I traveled away again 2 months ago now. I can't get her a new visa until next January. Now she is in depression. I think it's mainly because she is away from me, but she also cries a lot and says she *hates* the bay a lot. What can I do to ease her suffering reddit! she is already seeing a shrink but she can't prescribe her strong anti-depressants because of her pregnancy. Your advice is well appreciated. | my wife and the love of my life, a girl so reliant on me as a husband, father and best friend, is pregnant, *hates* the baby and in full depression. |
t3_37tjag | relationship_advice | Was hoping for some insight on (21f) as a (24m) | So we have been in a long distance relationship for a year now and i just bought tickets for us to go to mexico. I was going to log onto her (WoW account and do her dailies since she didn't have time) I found out she had changed her password and wouldn't give it to me. I was fine with this as oh well i don't have to do her dailies (which i have done before.) I then find out its because her brothers identity got stolen something I am currently going through and she wasn't comfortable. (im still fine at this point) I then learn that a guy who she has been texting day and night for 3 weeks she did see fit to talk to this about instead of me.. I ended up getting hurt by this... we make up she says she doesnt want to stress me out more and such then tonight i find out she wants to talk to this other guy more then me and I am suffocating her she needs space. So I am sitting here typing this out trying to give her space to think on us and not sure what to do or if i can call her tonight which i obviously desperately want to do | my girlfriend talks about her life issues with a new male friend instead of me whom she talks to constantly... it now comes out im smothering her and she needs space. Am i wrong to call her? |
t3_xyawb | relationship_advice | [23/f] my boyfriend (21/m) is moving away! What do I do? | Ok, I need advice, folks! He and I haven't been together very long (2 months) but it's obvious to me that's a wonderful guy, and I like him very much. He's very unhappy at his current job and got a tentative offer doing work that he enjoys, and that might also pay him more. So, what do I do now? He's mentioned we'll find some way to stay together, like alternating weekends here and there. However, where we live now is kind of awful and he'll be moving to the best city in the state, and he also doesnt have a car. I'm unemployed (not by choice) and have 10 months left on my apartment lease but no other compelling reason to stay. I know it's wrong of me but I want him to find a better job somewhere nearby or at least ask to be put on a different team at his current job. It'd be great for him to move to a fun city but I'm gonna miss him so much :\ ugh, so reddit what should I do? Should I find some way to follow him, do a long distance thing or what? | my boyfriend is moving to a badass city (where all my friends live) with an equally badass job offer (he hates his current job)- should i stay in my boring suburb or try to follow him? |
t3_13neci | AskReddit | After days of prepping our thanksgiving dinner, my father chokes and almost dies after his first bite. What horrible things have happened to you during the holidays? | Above 8 yrs ago we moved to bahamas after living in the states for over 20 yrs. Everything was different and we wanted to make our first thanksgiving there a good one, like we had back in our hometown. We literally spent days prepping our turkey, harm, sweet potato, you name it we had it. We sat around the table ready to eat and my dad takes the first bite and fucking starts choking. Jumps up holding his throat. I was 16 at the time and had no idea how to do the heimlich maneuver, i did a half ass one on him but he pushed me away. Suddenly his throat relaxed and the food went down. We all stood their shocked at what happened. Obviously we weren't hungry anymore and put the food away without eating anything. | Our first thanksgiving in a new country, after days of prepping my dad chokes after the first bite, luckily he lived. |
t3_3tk9xu | tifu | TIFU by farting in a lift for a girl to walk into | So i've had stomach problems all week and have been letting off some unholy stink bombs at unwanted times, today was one of them. I get the same lift everyday to the top floor of my labs at University and this lift always takes so long to open it's doors when it's at a floor. The lift isn't used often and I was alone so i thought it might be okay to pass some wind before i get out. It's on my floor and the door begins to open much quicker than usual, the door opens to a girl I know working in the lab next door to mine. She says hello, I fart, look at her and awkwardly shuffle away without saying anything for her to walk into what I can only assume is a cabin of stench. | A girl said hello to me, i farted and walked off without saying anything in panic. Just for her to have to stand in it for a couple of minutes. |
t3_2ow69h | relationships | Me [21 F] with my SO [25 M] 2 months, How do we transition to friends? | This is my first real relationship. We go to the same unversity but we also exchanged letters, emails, and texts. He visited me over the holidays, and we had a lot of fun together on dates. He broke up with me this morning, citing that he is not ready for another long term relationship after being abused by his last partner.
I respect his decision. He is a intelligent man and knows what he wants, and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me in the same way I want them. Looking back, I understand I fell really hard and was much more invested than he was. At the same time, I was very clear about my intentions. I asked multiple times if he was comfortable with the amount of interaction and even specifically asked him if he was overwhlemed. I always asked if he would like to see me again or if he would like to exchange another round of letters. His letters spoke of learning to love another person, of a future together. He assurded me that we were exclusive. I believe I was not completely misguided in my attachments. Part of me feels we could have talked about this sooner and just taken things very slow (I am going to talk to him about this as well).
Anyway, I would like to remain friends, a plan he proposed. He is a good person, a good friend, and he makes my life better for knowing him, so I don't see why not. We are seeing each other tonight.
I would like advice from people who have transitioned from relationship to friendship? Does this kind of relationship even exist? Obviously, no sex, no touching, no exclusivity, no dinner dates or romantic movies.
Also, I'm worried this could just turn into my waiting for him until he is ready (Full disclosure: As of right now I would take him back in a heartbeat) but I don't want our friendship to be a pretense for some fantasy reunion. Although I suspect as time goes on my feelings for him will fade and I will start dating again. | SO broke up with me to work on himself and wants to be friends. I agree. How do we make the transition? Has this ever actually happened to anyone successfully? |
t3_3nxp1q | Advice | Is my fear weird or irrational? | I got into a car accident yesterday. A woman didn't slow down as I was going into a turn. She rear ended me and caused my vehicle to flip two full times. I climbed out my drivers side window and my truck was on its side.
I only suffered from some gnarly cuts on my left arm, near my elbow, and required 13 stitches. All of this happened yesterday. Last night I had a dream that I was driving and I was breaking out in sweat every time a car was behind me. When I woke up this morning, I was almost in tears.
Alot of times today, I kinda space out for a while and I can still hear the sound of her car hitting mine. I can somehow feel the jolt that I felt when my truck originally lunged forward. I get this feeling alot today.
To put all this into context, Im a 20yr old male in the Army National Guard. I don't think I am supposed to remember the accident that vividly and I don't feel like it should matter as much as it seems to me. I wasn't seriously injured, only 13 stitches in my arm, even though everyone tells me how lucky I am to have even walked away from the accident at all. I haven't driven a vehicle today, I even get kinda panicked thinking about it. I went with my mother to pick up medicine today and every time there was a car behind me, I freaked out in my head. Is all of this normal? | I got in an accident and now I fear driving, more specifically, having cars behind me. I get flashbacks to it happening even though I didn't suffer life threatening damage. Is it normal? |
t3_393myd | relationships | Me [26F] with my[29 M] [F,26] Got broken up with few hours ago. Just tell me something that made you feel better & different after you just got broken up with . ( with ZERO explanation ) | I cant talk about this relationship with anyone at the moment. I went to bed thinking i had one, woke up to find out i dont.
This all went on just a few hours ago.
So, as you can imagine , despair sets in. Im really looking for any words or "MAGIC" words that made you feel some sort of different when you got dumped
So Anything that made a real difference to you !! I need that fix
What lifted you up ? Was there anything that just made a difference hearing ??
I would really appreciate any sort of input of that kind | Broken up with suddenly, no explanation. Hoping to see some of the lines/words that really made a difference to you when you were hurting & trying to feel better ! |
t3_1zqdzn | relationships | Me [M, 21] with my now ex gf [F, 21] together for 5 years, have been broken up for a few weeks. still confused. | Hey r/relationships... back again
My girlfriend recently decided to end the relationship about 3 weeks ago. To make a long story short, this came completely out of no where and I was shocked by it. We had moved in together about 4 months ago and things were seemingly great between (or so I thought).
2 weeks before she ended things with me I had been by her that she was excited to be with me forever and how i was perfect yada yada yada. I have heard all these things more times than I can count.
Fast forward 2 weeks later and she wakes me up one morning out of the blue saying that she thinks she needs to be single and work on herself. However, she also says that she doesn't feel that 'spark' anymore between us. I of course call bullshit on this since she had literally only two weeks prior been talking to be about marriage and how she loves me so much yada yada.
so my question is, is it possible for someone to lose feelings for someone else that quickly for no apparent reason? what Im most hurt about is the fact that she isn't even willing to work on things or put effort into the relationship. she just moved back home and called it quits saying that she's always had a bf since the time she was 12 and she wants to find herself. I think finding yourself is a legitimate thing but I feel there must be something she is not telling me. I love this girl madly and everything was going great and than all of a sudden not. | gf of 5 years broke up with me out of the blue, had been told only 2 weeks prior how I was the one for her, but she claims her feelings changed for no reason randomly. does that kind of thing happen? |
t3_210e5n | relationships | I (20f) have an amazing boyfriend (21m) but I feel like I'm not ready yet. | My boyfriend (D) and I have been together for 10 months. We click. We have an amazing sex life, we can practically read each other's minds, we have fun whenever we're together. It the perfect "sort-of serious" early 20's let's-see-where-life-takes-us kind of relationship.
But I am having a sort of "quarter life crisis" because I haven't been single since I was 18. I dumped my last boyfriend for D. I feel like being single would help me grow as a person. But I don't feel like I could leave D just for that. I love him (and am slowing falling *in love* with him) and he is my best friend. I wouldn't be able to see him with someone else, and I definitely couldn't cut him out of my life because he is too important to me and I know I am very important to him. But the invasive thoughts keep coming. I suppose I am also afraid of committing to D and being hurt because of it.
I guess what I am wondering is, should I just ride the relationship wave and see where it goes? Or should I give into the invasive thoughts that tell me to run away? Has anyone else had invasive thoughts in an early relationship? | I'm in an amazing relationship, but I feel like I'm not ready to be where I am. Not sure if throwing it away is worth it. |
t3_2cudr4 | relationships | Is it wrong for me[21 F] to refuse to spend time with my sister[11 NB] just because I don't want to? | My sister and I are ten years apart, but despite that, they are the most important person in the world to me. We are incredibly close, have almost entirely the same interests, and are always together because I live at home and am currently on leave from college. Even though they love video games, they will never play multiplayer games with me, and won't play board games or cards either. We usually start off with something basic like they're a ferocious beast and I'm a foolish camper and build on it from there. I have to be incredibly creative and entertaining or they'll stop the game because I'm too "boring". Sometimes we just wrestle, which I prefer, but we haven't been doing that lately.
My problem is that I am fundamentally a lazy person, and these games are not fun at all for me. They're draining and stressful. On top of this, they will always expect me to drop what I'm doing and play with her. Multiple times a day they say "let's play a game" and I'm coming to resent them for ruining my peace. Sometimes I even dread these moments so much I put off doing what I truly want to do so it can't be ruined. We're spending two weeks at our vacation home and I've started just saying "no". I want to feel like I'm on vacation too. They told me I wasn't a good sister anymore and when my mom found out she was upset with me too. They think my dad is too boring to even give him a chance and my mom isn't the type to play, so I feel responsible for their happiness. I just want some peace and freedom, but I'm worried that I'm becoming more selfish than ever before. I don't like the version of myself that would resent my own sister for just wanting to be with me.
Is it wrong to have a day where I choose only myself? | My sister has me play with them all the time and I hate doing it. Am I being selfish to refuse? Can I work with them to get time for myself? |
t3_270ruj | relationships | My(22F) mentally unstable friend(24F) wants to have a baby ASAP. Should I talk to her? | My friend Danielle was engaged for 4 years in what I can only describe as an extremely toxic relationship (gaslighting and cheating galore in both directions). She finally broke up with him a little under a year ago, and quickly began dating someone new. I have only met the new guy (Mark) a couple of times, but they seem like a far better fit and like they are happy together.
Recently Danielle told me that she wants to get pregnant in the next few months. I didn't say anything about this at the time, but there are a few reasons why I think this would be a bad idea.
Firstly (and least significantly), her and Mark have only been together for about 5 months, and she started dating him really soon after she broke up with her fiance.
Secondly, she isn't mentally stable. I'm not entirely sure what she has been diagnosed with, but it is something like borderline personality disorder or extreme depression. This manifests itself in the form of panic attacks, neurosis, depression and narcissism. She claims that she cannot afford medication, even though we live in a country where prescriptions are incredibly cheap, and you can get free repeat prescriptions. Her not being medicated has led to her being fired or quitting her last few jobs.
I don't think she realises just how expensive and mentally draining having a child can be. I think it's important that she focuses on getting well before considering having children. I don't think it would be fair to bring up a child in the environment that she can currently offer it.
Should I talk to her about my concerns, or would I be massively out of line for doing so? I'm not sure that she would react well or take what I say on board. I know another of my friends agrees with me, and would probably have another point or two to add, so I could potentially have back up if I were to talk to her. I love this girl and want what's best for her. We have been good friends for about 10 years now. | I am struggling with whether I should mind my own business, or mention my concerns to one of my closest friends about her becoming pregnant. |
t3_ywxeo | dating_advice | F20 seeking advice on dating close friend's (M22) friend (M23) | Some background: I [20] recently broke up with my bf [27] because he cheated on me. (We were on a break and he slept with a co-worker). It's been 2 weeks so I'm not sure if I'm actually interested in this new guy or if I'm just looking for a rebound. Now, I have a really close friend [22], like we talk everyday, let's call him X but I don't have feelings for him. I recently met X's friend and ex-roommate, let's call him Y[23]. Y and I hit it off immediately, and Y asked for my number. I tell X about Y and X tells me that he had feelings for me but he didn't act on it because he knew that he was going away for graduate school and that I was with my ex-bf at the time. I always suspected that X was interested in me but now I don't know what to do with this new info.. so far we've just been talking like he never told me that he liked me. X is a great guy but the feelings just don't exist. I want to pursue Y but I don't want a new relationship to change my friendship with X. And I'm not sure if I just want Y because he's really similar to my ex or if I'm interested. Should I pursue new guy? | F(20) recently broke up with M(27), now interested in friend (M22)'s friend(M23). |
t3_51jlvx | Advice | Friend Cut Ties Out of Nowhere | 15M
Hi r/Advice. So, this summer, I remade a friendship I had in middle school with a girl I liked. We hung out every week, and I'd say we both enjoyed ourselves. Something to note, the only times we hung out is when she invited me to hang out; I had invited her, but every time she would either not respond or give a questionable excuse. We snuck out some times as well to hang out if our days were packed. I'd say we were pretty close. Anyways, at the end of July, we stopped hanging out. I invited her many times throughout August (Desperate sounding, I know), and she's either straight up ignored me or given me a lazy, fake excuse. I don't know why this has happened, I haven't said anything rude or hurtful to her, haven't talked behind her back, nothing I can think of that would incite this.
P.S. We go to different schools | During summer, I successfully remade friends with someone I knew in Middle School, we hung out routinely until she went cold turkey at the end of July and rejected or ignored my invites. |
t3_hcmjl | AskReddit | Do I NEED closure? | Story Time: In 8th grade I met a girl who I really liked. I was really out of shape at the time and we were just friends until the beginning of my junior year in high school. In September of 2010 we started dating even though her parents were Jehovah's Witnesses and were vehemently against her dating. So we kept it low-key and had some sexual experiences together. Her parents found out we were dating after about 2 months and completely rejected her from their family. Although I was only 16 and living with my mom, she allowed my gf to stay with us. Our relationship really grew then. But about 2 weeks after she started staying with us, her parents became involved again and she ended up having to go a third-way home in Denver (I live in Parker, 20 min drive). I only was able to contact her sparingly by phone for about a month. She called me one day and was in tears because people were accusing her of flirting with another guy there. I believed her. One day I got to visit her and i thought everything was fine. About a week later she told me that she was going to move to California to be with her biological father and that she couldn't do a long term relationship. I understood this. However, 3 days later I found (via her mom) that she f*cked a guy after running away from her third-way home for a short time. I was so angry because it meant she was in love with another guy much before she broke up with me. I hate-emailed her multiple times calling her a whore and asking her why. I made sure that everyone who knew her knew she was a whore, I turned off the phone I gave her, as much as I could to punish her. But she still got off pretty easy... Now (a month or two later) I'm having dreams about her. Good dreams, about us making up and being together... I don't want these dreams.
Q: What do I do about the dreams? Or in general?
I've hurt her too much to go back. Plus, now she lives in California. What do I do? | ex fucked a guy 3 days after we broke up, i burned my bridges, now i'm dreaming about her. What do? |
t3_2b4fpc | relationships | How do you overcome chronic jealousy? | To provide a little bit of background, I (21M), have always been a really jealous person when it comes to relationships. I have massive amounts of insecurities about myself that I believe to be the root of the problem. These insecurities either cause or stem from the fact that I struggle with clinical depression and a large amount of social anxiety. This makes dealing with relationships incredibly difficult.
In a day and age where social media is present, I've seen my jealousy move on to higher and higher heights. I have recently started seeing someone (21F) and my jealousy is out of control. It is way beyond what is appropriate for someone in our stage of a relationship to be doing. We have been seeing each other for about 3 months at this point, but it has just been relatively casual.
She is a perfect fit for me. We get along so well and share so many interests. We enjoy the same activities, and when we are together I am happier than I've ever been. I want to keep this going, but I sometimes I let my jealous/obsessive behaviors get in the way of my happiness.
When a guy will like her instagram picture, I will go and check their pictures to see if she's liking theirs. Of course, all the attractive guys that like her pictures, she is liking them back or even being the first one to like theirs. It's the same way on Facebook and on tumblr. She has a history of infidelity, but she has progressively been improving at a pretty obvious rate as she matures. She assures me all the time that I'll be different, and that what she feels for me is a lot different than what she has felt for anyone else.
Is this me being controlling? Am I going crazy? It's making it so difficult going from day to day with her talking up our relationship more and more and yet I never know if she's talking to someone else. I really need to calm my jealousy down. How do you do it? I hate being jealous and petty and I want nothing more to do with it. How can I change myself for the better? | I am a jealous person, and it's causing me to struggle through everyday life with a girl I really like. How do you overcome jealousy? |
t3_22om1p | relationships | I [25 M] am starting to really like the [25 F] bartender at my favorite bar. | Like the title says, I am starting to like the bartender at my favorite bar. She is super gorgeous and very funny. However I am scared to make a move because I don't want things to be awkward for me at my favorite bar. I love that place and I've loved it for longer then she has been bartending there!
The other problem is it feels like she is starting to flirt with me. Let me preface this by saying the ONLY way I know her is through seeing her at my favorite bar. So after a couple of times of talking to her she became much more friendly towards me. She always remembers my name and yells it when I come in "ADVENTURETIMEKYLE!!!" is what I hear everytime she comes in. She has even asked my friend for his name several times yet hasn't forgotten mine once.
She also has done the same thing when she wasn't working but was still there. She even wanted a hug(first time I ever hugged her). She could have been drunk or maybe not. Also while she is working she has touched the small of my back to get my attention and has called me honey(I know that last one is super common with the ladies anyway)
So my question to you is...
Am I actually being flirted with or is she just being friendly? How can I tell a difference? Also should I take a risk knowing that I could make my favorite bar an awkward place to be?
She is going to be gone for a couple weeks due to surgery. So I have time to think over what I can do. | I like my bartender. She is GORGEOUS. I think she is flirting with me but I'm scared to make my favorite bar awkward. Help? |
t3_2b3vip | relationships | My mom [60 F] feels she's "lost me" [25 M] | My mom and I were always very close, but when my dad got sick and died about five years ago we became even closer. Our relationship changed from a parent/child relationship to more of an equal relationship.
My dad's illness was really tough and my mom didn't try to hide anything from me. I saw her at her worst and it mean that in some ways she couldn't be a traditional mother figure any more. For example, I wouldn't go to her if I was feeling upset because I wouldn't want to stress or upset her more.
Since then our relationship has continued along that track. She began dating and would tell me about her dating problems. She started smoking pot occasionally and asked me to get it for her. It's hard for me to tell if this is just the way parent/child relationships develop, or if ours is different.
I have been in a serious relationship for about three years now with someone I plan to spend the rest of my life with. We moved back to my home state (she is not from here) about a year ago and so have been seeing my mom more often.
A couple of weeks ago I was spending time with my mom one-on-one -- which is not too common these days -- and she told me she feels like she's "lost me." That we are no longer close and I'm not her baby boy anymore. She said she never sees me alone (which is true) and although she knows that's the way things go, it really upset her.
She's right that we've grown apart, but I am having trouble figuring out how to renew our relationship. I don't necessarily want to hear about the minutia of her dating life and relationship issues, but that's such a big part of her life now. I want to find a new form for our relationship that will acknowledge things have changed but still rekindle some closeness. | Mom says she's "lost me"; I don't feel like her "baby boy" anymore. How do I create a new form for our relationship? |
t3_2ekjeh | relationships | Me [28 F] with my boyfriend of 1.5 year's [28 M] mom, annoyed with her food pushing | Let me start by saying that my boyfriend's mom is a big sweetheart. She has a big heart and loves to provide for her family by cooking for them.
Recently my boyfriend has expressed some desire to lose weight. He's only mentioned it offhand a few times, so it's not like it's a major focus for him, but I think he's trying. And it isn't easy for him because he LOVES to eat and he doesn't exercise. But lately it seems like he's been trying to limit the "junk food" he eats and not overeat as much.
However whenever he eats at home (he goes home to have dinner with his parents a few nights per week), his mom pushes food upon him. He will say he is full and stop eating, but then his mom will push more food towards him and tell him to eat up, so he does. And it's not like he's eating small portions to begin with - when he says he's full, he's already eaten quite a substantial meal. However he has very little willpower, especially in front of food and especially when it comes to his mom.
I want him to be successful with losing weight if that is what he wants, but his mom's food pushing is seriously derailing his efforts. I'm not sure if I should intervene though because a) I'm not even 100% sure that my boyfriend is actively trying to lose weight and b) he adores his mom and I don't want to say or do anything disrespectful towards her. What should I do? | Boyfriend seems like he wants to lose weight, but his mom's food pushing is derailing his efforts. What can I do? |
t3_1kg72e | relationships | I'm [120M] trying to date a girl at work [18/F] I've known her for a month. Not replying. | **I'm [20/M] not 120 like that title 'suggests'.**
I met a girl at work about a month ago. We talked and really hit off.
About 3 weeks into knowing her I asked her out to go to the cinema, we went and then after got a meal. I paid for both, at the restaurant she said she'll pay and got her card, but playfully I took her card off her and paid myself. She seemed abit offended but nothing major.
Later on after I'd dropped her off she text me asking if it was a date, and I said it was and she seemed OK with it and then said next time she'll pay.
A week later I had a free house and she came round, we watched a few movies and she cooked us dinner, with stuff she'd bought. We drank a bit but nothing really happened, we cuddled and went to bed and just slept with her in my arms.
In the morning we cuddled a bit more and generally just horsed around. I got to do something and just gave a peck on her forehead.
We continued to cuddled and then when it came for me to drop of her off we shared a quick kiss, just like a peck.
Now I've been messaging her because I've had two weeks holiday off work. I'll be talking to her and then suddenly she'll stop replying. Usually its when I ask if she wants to meet up, but it can just randomly happen. Whenever I ask her for a specific day she'll always be doing something or 'something will come up'.
Also we was texting and she said she had 'talked to her future hubby' which is someone else she works with.
I dont know if she's trying to give me a hint. I feel like the second 'date' only happened becasue she felt like she had to pay me back. I don't know what to do or anything. I see her in work on Saturday and I want to tell her, ask her what I can do, or if she's just not into me. But I just don't know how. | Girl randomly stops replying to my messages after two dates, I need to speak my mind to her when I see her in work on Saturday and need to know what to say. |
t3_4fi7u8 | relationship_advice | [16/m] I really hurt my girlfriend [15/f] and don't know if I can/should fix it. | This is kind of a long story. My best friend, [16/f] has depression and is currently in a pretty abusive relationship with her boyfriend. I've always helped her out with that stuff, and for a long time I've been there for her as her friend, and nothing more. There have always been feelings somewhere for each other, and recently we started becoming more vocal and honest about them.
I also have/had (not sure yet) a girlfriend for the past 2 months. She's amazing, and I really like her. It's her first relationship, so we've been taking it really slow. In the past, she has seemed okay with me and my friend being really close. When I started dating her, I was still trying to get over my best friend.
But last weekend, my friend came over and we kissed. We both acknowledged our feelings for each other and we didn't know what would happen. She ended up telling her abusive boyfriend, who not only told her he loved her and stayed with her, but then told my girlfriend.
Again, it's my girlfriend's first relationship, and I feel terrible. I should have been honest when it happened, I shouldn't have cheated on her, and I kind of doubt whether or not I should have started dating her in the first place, when I knew I really wasn't quite over someone else. We're planning on talking it over soon, and I don't really know what to say. I don't want to get back together with her, just because I'm afraid I'll hurt her again. I also know that there is a slim chance of it actually working out with me and my best friend. Any advice at all would be fantastic. | I hurt my girlfriend, I don't know if I should get back together with her for fear of hurting her again. |
t3_1dqk90 | relationships | How do I (M19) tell my girlfriend of soon to be 3 years (F21) that I will be leaving for college, without causing a break up? | My girlfriend and I have been together since high-school. I graduated last year with the full intention on leaving home for college while she stayed here. We broke up in the fall of my senior year because of this but in the spring got back together. I attended a local college for the duration of this year but I still want to leave. I was accepted to a public university 6 hours away that I would love to go to. I just need to accept my admission. The only thing that is stopping me is trying to come to terms with how to tell her. I don't want her to see my leaving as putting a knife through our relationship, even though it might. I was planning on sitting her down after a wonderful night of doing what she loves, then have a long discussion about it during the apex of the date. I was planning on saying it will be a team effort and we must schedule talk times, visits, etc. I'm just nervous it'll blow up in flames but not so much that it will refrain me from leaving. | I plan on leaving to a college 6 hours away while my girlfriend of 3 years remains at a local college. How do I tell her that I'm leaving without causing her to feel as if I'm abandoning her? |
t3_49b2dd | relationships | I [18 F] don't feel as committed to [18 M] boyfriend | I guess that's to be expected at this age.
I met my boyfriend in the second year of high school. He and I share a lot of common interests, so we hit it off pretty quickly. Unsurprisingly, we started dating a short while after. It wasn't always smooth sailing, but he became one of my closest confidants and best friends.
Fast forward to this year, we both left town for different colleges. So long distance. Towards the beginning of the year, we kept in contact with skype and messaging. Admittedly, I began to find myself swept away by the change of scenery around this time. With heading to college, I found a new job, new friends and I was pretty busy trying to juggle everything. The red flags first popped up when I found myself becoming less concerned with responding to his messages. Eventually, even talking to him felt like a chore. In all honesty, I could feel my attraction to him waning, and I was sure at the time that I needed to end things.
To complicate things, I also noticed myself developing a fairly significant crush on another friend of mine. This probably compounded the issue.
My boyfriend noticed my distance, and he confronted me about it. I told him the truth about how I felt, but what I didn't expect was a sudden onset of feelings of guilt and loss. I started crying midway through. He's my first boyfriend and the 3 years certainly weren't meaningless to me. Much to my chagrin later, I chickened out of ending things and asked for a 'break' in the relationship.
Now, I'm really uncertain about where I stand. I feel absolutely awful about putting this much stress on my boyfriend. I'm really not as attracted to him as I was before, but I worry that this is just a temporary phase (maybe from moving past the honeymoon stage). Or if I'm just going through a "grass is greener" moment with my friend. As my feelings are right now, I definitely don't want to continue with the relationship, but I'm worried this might change. As in, am I just losing sight of a good relationship because of distraction? | Left for college, don't feel as attracted to boyfriend, not sure whether to break up or if its just a temporary thing. |
t3_gziut | relationships | SO always upset, won't talk about it, gets [m]ad when I don't ask what's wrong. | My SO and I have been together for 1.5 years now. She has always had issues with opening up to people due to (unpleasant) past relationships, and unfortunately that still hasn't changed all that much with me.
The problem is that she is generally upset every day due to some form of depression/bipolar condition that she refuses to be diagnosed with or treated for. (I know this is the case as I've suffered from depression and been in a long term-relationship with someone who was bipolar)
I try and talk with her daily about what's wrong, and have been doing so for most of our relationship. While I try frequently, she never actually opens up or talks about what is wrong. Eventually the reaction from me is that she brings up that she's upset just to let me know but doesn't want to elaborate. The long term result is knowing that she won't answer, so I don't push her to talk about it anymore.
Lately things have changed. She's now upset at me for not asking what is wrong, even while I ask her every day, several times a day to talk to me about what is bothering her.
Is it wrong for her to expect for me to know which of the thousands of times isn't just a empty acknowledgement of my asking and not a cry for help? Or is it possible that if she hasn't opened up yet, is it possible she will? | SO doesn't talk about why she's upset, gets pissed after 1.5 years that I didn't talk to her the one time she really was upset |
t3_35s9q4 | relationships | Me [20/M] with my [20/F] girlfriend. How do I tell her I messed up and kissed another girl while under the influence? | This was a couple months ago, and the guilt is eating me alive.
Please do not point out the questionable choice of being under the influence, I know it was a mistake, I'm looking to own up to the mistake.
Went out with a group of friends and my SO of a year, she arrived separately. After the event, I left with a friend of mine. We get very high on the way home. I was a solid 11/10 and very uncomfortable.
She ended up directing me to her house, and made me pull over. She convinced my VERY muddled mind to kiss her, and I went for it.
Told her I felt very uncomfortable and she should leave. On the way back to meet the SO, had to stop the car and get sick because I realized what I did and got sick over it.
How do I break it to my girlfriend that I kissed another girl? Do I? | Under the influence, kissed another woman. How do I tell my SO of a year? Do I not tell her? |
t3_3av076 | relationships | My (21M) Gf/fiancée (21F) wants a break, not sure how to deal with it. | Recently my Gf told me that she wants a break and that she needs time to find herself and discover what she wants out of life. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and I'm madly in love with her. We got engaged after 1 year of dating and promised to get married after we graduate college. I went home for the summer and she stayed at school.
I noticed her acting differently over the phone when we would talk and then she lied to me when she went out to a club. She told me she was at one place but was really somewhere else, not a big deal but when I confronted her about it she consistently lied to my face. We got into an argument and then all of a sudden she's telling me she needs a break with "intentions" to get back together. She doesn't know how long it will last she says. We still talk on the phone a few times a week and she wants to spend my bday with me. It's so confusing and frustrating because we're are considered "broken up". Plz help!!! | She says her feelings haven't changed for me but she says she can't be with someone right now until she learns to love herself first and become more independent. |
t3_10utva | dating_advice | College girl whose been out of the dating scene for a while trying to figure out how to approach a guy in one of my classes. | Im a 19 year old girl in college and, after a long run of scummy boyfriends, I decided to take a break from dating for about a year just to reevaluate my situation. I feel a lot more level headed in my opinions of guys now and Im thinking that its about time my run of singledom ends!
Im not actively seeking guys to date, just letting things happen as they may. And this guy just happened to catch my eye.
From what I can tell, hes a real gentleman, a little shy, and, to be honest, most likely out of my league.
But I feel determined. Im just not sure how to approach the situation. Im not a very bold person. And weve already been in class a few weeks now, so if I moved to sit near him it would be *very* weird I think, especially since he usually sits in the center front of the class room. But it is astronomy class, so often times at the end of class we all go up on the roof to do stargazing (romantic set-up, right? ha) but the teacher does a presentation so its not really like we have the opportunity to talk.
I do think its possible that hes interested in me also. He makes eye contact with me almost every time I walk into the class. And its not eye contact that I initiated. And then, today, when I got to class he had randomly moved to the desk in front of mine. His usual desk was empty, so I dont see any real reason for the move. But sadly someone had decided to sit in my seat and I was left sitting on the other side of the room =(
Hopefully he will sit in the same spot next time so I get another chance. I need some advice! How do I approach him if he is sitting infront of me again, and how do i approach him if he isnt? | I want to approach a guy in my class to get a conversation started, but Im not very good at being bold. He *might* be interested in me already, but Im not certain. He seems slightly out of my league. |
t3_vezsq | AskReddit | So my dad, who had a stroke a year ago, handicapped,in a wheelchair, is getting sued. Please help. | So me and my parents live in Chicago. My older brother lives in another state. My dad had a stroke a year ago, since then he became handicapped, in the wheelchair, disabled.
We've been having financial difficulties since then and my older brother is the only guy that's been supporting us, because my mom is dad's primary care so she can't work anymore and I'm still a student.
Before he had a stroke he was working as a contractor, and he was having issues with this one client, this guy wasn't happy how the construction went.
After my dad had a stroke, the client didn't even pay $3000 dollars that he was supposed to pay to my dad for the construction fee (he was aware that my dad had a stroke and in the hospital, so he refused to pay), but we just let it slide.
Yesterday, we got a court date and the paper, saying that this guy is suing my dad for 75,000 dollars, and the court date is one month from now. Which is ridiculous, because the contract itself was only for 35,000 dollars, and this guy is giving us only a month notice.
My dad closed all of his bank accounts after he had a stroke(well, we had to close it for him), he has other debts that he can't pay it anyway, we couldn't even pay for his hospital bills so we filed for charity+emergency care bill.
And my parents are moving to another state to live with my brother tomorrow, since it's gonna cost a lot to live separately. I'm staying here to finish school and applying for a nursing school.
So basically we don't have money to hire lawyer, and he can't even go to the court because he's disabled/moving to another state tomorrow
My dad's friends told him to just leave it as it is, don't attend the court, let them win. What do you guys think? | Dad became handicapped, no money, getting sued, moving to another state. Court date is month away. What is the best option? |
t3_2dmtl3 | relationships | I'm [23/M] a really shy guy and she [20/F] is an intern who will be leaving soon. I want to ask her out but I need some other people's opinions. | Hopefully this is the right place to post this. If it isn't please let me know.
There is a girl that I've worked with for 3 months no who is incredibly attractive that I haven't worked the courage to talk to yet. We don't really sit near each other and don't work on the same projects so we never have time to interact. We both had a training class together where we talked a bit.
I see her everyday tho because she sits in front of me near a window so I see her all the time. The reason I never made an attempt before is because she will leave soon and doesn't normally live nearby and the main reason is because she looks like an ex.
When I first started I convinced myself it wouldn't be fair for her since I may be attracted to her because of her similarity to my ex and she would be leaving soon. Now tho, I don't know.
What I've noticed is that I haven't seen anything that makes me think she has an attraction to me. No looks over or anything. She seems pretty shy like me tho so maybe she is thinking the same things I have been. That could be crazy talk tho.
The reason I have posted here is because I need a third party opinion. Should I say anything or just let her go? My only fear is I would regret not saying something but my bigger fear of rejection and beung delusional is trumping that right now.
Thanks in advance. | I work with a girl who will be leaving soon and I need some advice on if I should say anything or not. |
t3_4cjpk2 | jobs | Received Offer, Expires in 2 Weeks. Waiting on a final interview somewhere else. Help! | I received an offer on Friday at a law firm and they FedExd the paperwork over the weekend. The offer explicitly says it expires in 2 weeks and to let them know ASAP.
I know this company very well and all of the employees (former colleagues ) and they expect me to accept, pass a background check, conflicts, and other procedural stuff, and give notice at the current firm. This was all sorta part of the plan, since I'm part of this team that was poached, expressed interest in going, and have negotiated a significant raise.
The part they don't know is that I have a final round interview for a different gig. This is my top choice. I told the internal recruiter that I have an offer and will need to decide by Friday. That would be 1 week before my other offer expires.
So here's my predicament . It's now Wednesday, the firm knows I'm reviewing my offer. I'm feeling a tad anxious since I haven't submitted anything, but they also have not reached out to me. While it says 2 weeks, some say 48-72 hours is protocol. What do I do?
* Do I go silent, and wait until the firm reaches out to me regarding my status?
* do I proactively reach out to the firm and tell them i will get them the paperwork by friday?
* Or do i just accept the firm's offee, and reneg on it if need be?
I'm finding benefits to each, but also am concerned with me being radio silent for a week or implying to them that I am shopping around. Once I "accept" I will still need to wait 2-3 days to pass conflicts, before it's official and I can give notice.
Thoughts? Anyone been in this spot? | Got offer friday, shopping elsewhere and should know by Friday, do i ghost/confront/or accept the offer? |
t3_1bse3h | BreakUps | Anyone want to offer me up a bit of advice? | I (19m) have been cheated on in two of the three relationships I've ever had. The last girl I was dating told me a few months ago that she had been cheating on me, and I didn't know how to react at first. We tried to work our relationship out. She seemed ashamed of it, and acted like she still wanted to be together. I stupidly bought into it, and we worked things out for about another month. We broke up, and the next day, went out and had a fling with the same guy she cheated on me with, and shortly after is now seeing another guy. I know it's all stupid, and I really shouldn't care, but I've been really down lately. My relationship with my parents haven't been that great since middle school, I'm in my first year of college, facing academic probation because of my GPA, and my friends only really seem to talk to me when they have some sort of problem with their life. Throw the whole cheating situation in, and... I just don't know what to do. It makes me wonder if something is wrong with me? I don't know. | have been cheated on twice, situation added to stress, feeling really down, could use advice, or even just a good smile. |
t3_a5lt4 | self | My furnace went out today, I called my local natural gas provider Centerpoint Energy. The repairman said I needed a new furnace. Your opinions? | I have an old forced air, gas furnace, actually a 29 year old furnace.
Earlier this week it started pounding when it started up, I did some 'interneting' and found that it appeared to be caused most likely by a cracked Heat Exchanger, so I called Centerpoint because I'm on their their "Home Service Plus" plan, where they fix my appliances free of charge. They schedule a tech to come out.
The tech was suppose to be at the house between 8:00am-Noon and he showed up at 11:55. Great scheduling. He works on it for about 40 minutes and says the heat exchanger and some other piping/fitting are cracked and says he's not going to fix it and I need a new furnace. He said it's not safe to run like that and 'locked' it out, by putting a "do not operate" tag on it and turning off the gas line.
This sounds like a ploy to get me to buy a new furnace from Centerpoint, who do sell and install new furnaces, or else maybe freeze to death.
I know my furnace is very old and probably very inefficient, but I don't really feel like paying $3,000+ for a new furnace today.
Should I get someone else to fix the problem or get a new furnace since I should probably get a new one anyways?
Either way I'll end up paying someone something tomorrow. The gas company or an independent contractor. | 29 y.o. furnace broke, gas company tech tells me I need a new furnace. I think it's a ploy to make me buy a new furnace from them. |
t3_qtba7 | self | How do I approach someone who I think is copying my design work? | I am a 3rd year fashion design student (yes, what a useful degree) and am currently designing my collection which my degree outcome/grade almost solely depends on. I've been working on this collection since October '11 and have put my life and soul into it, but recently noticed my housemate's (also a fashion student working on her own collection) garments looking significantly more like mine. For example, I am making dresses out of chiffon with All Saints style of fit/cut and leather harnesses. She now too, is making the same. At the beginning of the year when we first moved in she was making outdoorsy coats, so all her ideas have changed. I know it's arrogant to claim 'SHE'S COPYING ME' but her designs are just too similar to be a coincidence.
What shall I do? She's allegedly spoken to the University tutors about our designs looking similar (which thoroughly confused me, was she trying to clear her name?), to which they said not to worry about it. She's a bit of a dragon so I'm not sure I have the balls to just interrogate/accuse her. | coursemate's (who also lives with me) clothing designs and ideas are suddenly very similar to mine, what do I do? |
t3_3f4brd | personalfinance | Was 'invited' to invest in something that didn't sit right, turns out one of the head guys is implicated in a ponzi scheme, what do? | So here's the story. I work in banking, meet all sorts of interesting folks, and I get the advantage of being able to instantly vet most people that talk a big game.
Well this dude who I'm friendly with approached me about an investment, and off the bat alarm bells went off. This guys dad is into some pretty bogus stuff (dinar), and the 'deal' sounded way too good to be true. '50% ROI in 18 months on a fully collateralized note'. Sounds like enough to appeal to greed, but a good bit higher than is reasonable.
So I take a look at the info, and this one guys name is all over it. Enter the Googles, guy is being fingered by the FBI and SEC in a ponzi scheme right now, and while he has the top 4 odd spots on google for his biz, the rest are all about these bogus deals.
So, what should I do? Do I politely pass? Do I alert someone? | approached for dodgy deal that gets dodgier when I look into the dealings of the General Partner. Decline, or drop the dime? |
t3_4ovsdl | relationship_advice | How do I [27/m] stop being a tool, especially to her [22/f] | This is a serious post. I have been in a relationship with this girl I have known for over a year. We have been dating for a few months. It started off great.
I have also struggled with insecurities and trust issues ever since I was 16, mostly to do with being lied to and cheated on in the past at a young age. I have listened to heart wrenching stories from friends, had friends betray me, etc. I know this does not mean every person is this way, but it has definitely impacted my life and thought process.
So back to my current relationship. These trust issues and insecurities get the best of me at times and it is affecting my relationship. I often have doubts or fears about my girlfriend's where-abouts, analyze her words, and when things don't add up, my mind jumps to the worst possible conclusions. She has not given me any good reason to doubt her or to not trust her. She has prioritized me and is always caring for me. She is spontaneous at times and can be impulsive, where I am the opposite. I suspect this has something to do with my fears. Maybe impulsive behavior makes me feel uneasy because sometimes bad decisions can come out of it?
We got into an argument today because I was visiting my father for father's day and she was back in the city we live in, helping to watch my cat. She was telling me about her day and I noticed it wasn't adding up (time-wise). It made me suspicious and when I pointed it out. It upset her and it turned out she was putting together a surprise for me. I felt terrible and this isn't the first time I have done this.
How can I let this go and not be so controlling, distrusting, and insecure? I would love to be able to work through all these things with her, together, but she is getting frustrated with each incident and I do not know how to control my emotions and not jump to conclusions. | I am insecure and have trust issues that are affecting my current relationship. How can I deal with these and be a better person for myself and for my partner? |
t3_37flxk | relationships | Boyfriend (19M) of 2 1/2 years broke up with me (19F) not too long ago. | I'm really numb, because I know it was my fault. He told me that he's my loss, and he is right. I fucked him over, because I'm fucked up myself. I keep going from numb to crying to numb to crying. It just happened a few hours ago.
I think what's gonna be awkward is not only moving on, but figuring out how/if/when our families find out...I don't want to be bombarded with questions, and I don't want his family to do that to him, either. It's embarrassing, thinking about letting people know "oh yeah, we broke up". I want to be spared the damn reactions, so I'm probably going to hide it for as long as possible and act like we are still together.
I should be focused on winning him back. But I want to just quit my job, postpone starting college, and kill myself tbh. No joke. He was my support system after all, and I fucked that up. | Boyfriend broke up with me because of what I did, and now I'm here wondering what to do. How/if/when should I let my family know? How should I cope? I don't know. |
t3_3kwebu | relationships | Boyfriend (25M) of five years dropped a bomb on me (22F) last night and I don't know how to proceed. | My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. He is absolutely my best friend. I have never felt so completely comfortable with someone before, and I want him to be "it" for me.
There are things we disagree about, certainly. We just moved in (about a month ago) together to a new place far away from where we used to live, and a I think it's freaking him out.
We got into an argument about something yesterday and he said he feels like "we're both so scared of losing each other that we just paste over these problems instead of fixing them" and he "feels like we're just going through the motions." This hit me like a bag of bricks. After the longest silence of all time I asked if he was still in this, if he wanted to do it right and fix things with me? He said "yes, I'm in." Then we left it at that.
It was SUPER AWKWARD all day. He wasn't avoiding me, but it felt like we were forcing conversation. I feel like the air has been sucked out of my lungs. Like I'm a walking husk. I tried to ask after a few hours what he was feeling, so we could begin to work on it, but he said "that's all we've been talking about all day, I don't want to talk about it right now. I don't know how to explain it."
I'm at a loss here. I think he's feeling overwhelmed and scared that our relationship has reached the stage of any long relationship where it's no longer butterflies, but comfortable. But that comfort is something I love. I have no doubt that he loves me just as much. I don't know if I should give him space or what, we're both at work now and I was planning on telling him tonight that when he's ready to talk I'll be here. I can't walk around for another night feeling scared of my world crashing down around me. He said he wants to fix it. How do we start? | Boyfriend told me he feels like we're just going through the motions, and he wants to fix it. Where do we begin? |
t3_3cx1u4 | relationships | I [14 M] have sociopathic tendencies and struggle to read my girlfriend [14 F] (8 months) | I am a sociopath (half-diagnosed by a psychiatrist, although they said that they don't like to make a diagnosis so early, so no formal diagnosis) and have somehow managed to procure a girlfriend.
I feel relatively comfortable around her (certainly more than around other people) but am still told by my peers that I miss things - when she is 'mad' at me or when I should've made more of an effort.
I also struggle to read how physical a relationship she wishes to have - she is younger than me, but as I've said - I have no idea. This is interspersed with the awkward questions about 'love' and feeling etc. which I used to be okay with, but even I can sense that she is a little awkward about when she overhears. What would anyone suggest, and does anyone with similar problems actually keep a serious relationship going? | I'm a messed up individual who has the small problem of not experiencing emotions like other people. My girlfriend is a normal, feeling-filled person and I have no idea what I'm doing. |
t3_2s9oyp | relationship_advice | [25M] Dating [22F] Havent had sex for months. Is birth control the issue or is it something bigger? | So my GF and I have been together now for about a year. She was a virgin when I met her and a few months into our relationship she decided she was ready for sex. Not wanting to have children at this point in our lives we were both very cautious about taking the right steps and being as proactive as we could about practicing safe sex. She went on birth control and we used a condom + spermicide for extra protection. Great, everything is perfect.
But maybe after a month of her being on BC she started feeling adverse affects from her BC and decided she wanted to stop taking it. Understandable for sure.
Now this is where the issue is. She doesn't want to use ANY form of hormonal BC because she doesn't want it to mess with her body and because she is so paranoid about getting pregnant she doesn't think condoms + spermicide are enough.
So basically its been 4+ months since we have had intercourse. We still go down on each other and all that good jazz some what frequently, but I'm feeling like I'm missing out on that other level of intimacy that only sex can bring. Am I wrong for feeling that way?
On the one hand I totally see where she is coming from and far be it from me to tell her what she can and cannot put into her body. But on the other hand, I feel like she doesn't want to try to find a solution to this issue and she would be more than happy to keep doing what we've been doing and just avoid having sex.
I've tried bringing this up before and she heard me out, she even seemed willing to try alternative forms of birth control. Sadly this was some time ago and there has been no change. I'm hesitant to bring this up again because I don't want her to take things the wrong way and think that I only care about having sex...
Sorry for the long post. I'll shut up now. Any advice is greatly appreciated. | GF went off birth control and hasn't had sex with me for 4+ months because she feels condoms alone won't be effective enough.. |
t3_3a25n7 | relationships | Me [22f] & My boyfriend [23] are moving in together for the first time, been together for nearly 2 years... any advice to make it work? | We went to different Unis that were close and through friends we met and were good friends for 2 years. In my third year (he graduated at the end of my second) we started seeing each other bit more and ended up in a relationship. As we were friends it worked really well because we already knew each other.
We did distance for the last two academic years with this year seeing each other primarily on weekends. However with it being my 4th year I was very stressed and would often bite his head off and we grew quite distant not really connecting. I finished in May we are moving into a flat by my Uni next week with our best friend (I have my 5th and final year this year) We all get on so there is no issue having a third wheel. He can wfh or drive in so it's fine location wise.
Our flat mate doesn't move in until September so it's just us. During holidays from Uni I tend to spend quite a bit of time at his, we happily spend time apart in the same flat and can easily entertain ourselves.
However he is worried about if we broke up and one of would be homeless/screwed for rent, we like to think we will be okay and the plan is to move to his parents for a bit in Australia when I graduate so it's pretty serious.
We don't have any underlying issues like cheating etc so that's all good.
Was just wondering if anyone had any advice on people living together for the first time how to make sure it works? | Moving in with my boyfriend for the first time, had some hard distant times this year, any advice for first time couples moving in? |
t3_19wya4 | tifu | TIFU by being alone on the internet too long. | So it's spring break, and I didn't go anywhere because I convinced myself I was gonna do work (yeah, right), and I decided the last couple days to work from home and not go into the lab. That means unlimited access to reddit and the rest of the internet. Well yesterday I was reading an article on r/seddit about this guy who picks up women using sites like PlentyofFish.com and shit like that, and I was bored, so I signed up there for free. I don't even know why, I have a few girls I could go out with an date, but like I said, I was bored. And then, there was an ad that said "Just want to hook up? Try 'this site'!"....and like an idiot I clicked, made a profile there too, and then started getting responses from a few people. But, it turns out you can't even send a message back or read more than one message without subscribing. So, I looked at the rates and saw it was like $20 for one month, and I figured "fuck it, less money than a night at the bar," and entered in my info and stuff. Except I forgot to click the one month box and left it on one year instead. $100 for a hookup site I just wanted to use for amusement until I leave the city I'm in. And I'm not rich by any means, so that was a pretty big fuckup. | I was bored on the internet, signed up for a hookup site out of boredom, accidentally spent $100 instead of $20. |
t3_3taetv | relationships | I [16F] want to break up with my bf [17M] of 3 months but I'm afraid of his & our mutual friend's reaction | I am Asian and my bf is Caucasian.
To start off, my bf got really clingy very early into the relationship. When we started dating, he would always want to know where I am, what I'm doing, etc. He also called me pet names despite me telling him not to as it makes me uncomfortable. Before we started dating, we were really good friends (for about a year) and could talk about almost anything, but now all he says to me are how much he loves me, and to ask what I'm doing. I don't even love him yet, and even though it's sweet and all, it puts me off, and now I even doubt if I like him at all.
Another reason for me to break up is that my parents are against me dating (his parents are okay with us, and I've met them before), and I'm under a lot of stress to keep this a secret. He does not understand why I even need to keep it a secret, and always puts me in situations where my parents would almost find out about us. I feel like I can't live with the pressure of that.
If I break up with him, I'm worried about what out mutual friends would think of me, as they're closer to him than they are to me, so they are most likely going to take his side.
But the biggest problem is my bf's reaction. He has self esteem issues and I feel like this would affect him a lot. Should I leave out the part where I'm put off by his behavior, and just say that I'm stressed out over my parents?
He is a really nice guy, and I appreciate all his efforts, but I think we're really not compatible as a couple, just as friends, and now is also not a suitable time for me to be dating anyone. Any advice is appreciated. | my bf got really clingy, turns me off. My parents also don't approve, and it stresses me out, affecting my studies and friendships with other people. |
t3_n9o9g | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what is the most ballsy thing you have ever done? I'll start | I am a small young woman, and I live downtown Toronto, where there is a pretty big market for stolen bikes. I kept my bike locked to the fence in front of my building, but I had a pretty shitty lock, it was one of those cute foldable bikes, pretty distinct colour and stickers on it.
One morning my roommate came home and asked where my bike was... I looked out the window to see that it was gone. Someone snipped my lock.
Later that day I went for a walk to do some shopping through Chinatown and couldn't help but look at every bike I saw.
One particular bike caught my eye. It was the same make and colour, except it now had a basket and sweet lights on it. A sketchy man held the bike, took some cash from another man, and then handed it over to him..... I knew it was illegal, and I knew it was my bike...
As the man got on my tiny bike I decided to follow him, on foot, running after him for a block or two.
He got off the bike and started to enter a building through a sketchy door..
I approached him, and yelled "Excuse me,... where did you get that bike!?" (I was alone, and really am not sure why I did this.)
He told me he bought it for 10 bucks up the street, I then proceeded to lecture him about taking things that aren't his and that stealing is wrong... he apologized and gave me my bike back... | My bike was stolen, I chased the guy down and demanded it back. I got it back, with added lights and a sweet basket. |
t3_2q6tb5 | relationships | Why does he do this? Me [25f] and him [28m] | Hey guys, I have no idea what this is about. My boyfriend of over a year has a problem with always pointing out how hot other girls are. For example, I would say that I didn't like how some girl was dressed and he would start telling me that girls dressed like that look great.
I would look at girls on lookbook.nu and he'd pull the laptop closer so he can see some hot girls there. It's made me not want to look at it when I'm around him. I was playing an online game with a girl that had a cute/sexy pic on my phone and he pulled my phone closer so he can see.
I would tell him that some girl we know is really beautiful and he would tell me that so many smart girls are beautiful, for example the girls that study to become doctors are really beautiful.
Another time, I was looking at some girl that was dancing in a bikini (hell, I don't even know why I clicked that) and he said 'are you looking at hot britches?'. His attitude is bothering me and even if I often asked him what's up with that he just said it's his opinion.
We went for a vacation and we were sitting in a park and instead of talking to me he was looking at a group of high school kids and asking me if I think that any of the guys would get any of the girls. Or if the girls were too hot for them. I just don't care..!
I feel so bad about this sometimes that I want to break up with him because it's making me feel like I matter less than these girls. How the hell do I fix this, should I even bother or is it obvious that he's just not that into me? I'm out in a second if that's the case. | boyfriend seems to notice every hot girl around and try to point it out to me. I'm sick of this. Best thing to do? |
t3_lfesx | relationships | Dealing with family. | For starters, I'm 23 and female.
Recently I was talking on the phone with my mom when a photo on facebook came up (my family members are generally blocked from viewing tagged photos, albums, etc but this was my display pic.) I didn't see anything wrong with it- it's me and a friend sitting at a bar. I'm not drinking but there is a drink in her hand. Apparently, my grandparents freaked out and called her asking "why I posted that" and "what am I doing with my life?" because she has tattoos.
As my mom explained it "I'm sure they're nice girls, but you should make new friends." They used to say this all through middle/high school also which prevented me from making many close friends then too. However, I don't live with them anymore so they can't just stop me from leaving the house like they used to so they call complaining.
I spent the last year trying to make friends and finally found one (yay!!!!) but clearly she is not up to the standards of my parents. The last few months have been pretty difficult for me given that my best friend/ex boyfriend (long story) suddenly decided to avoid me with no explanation. It's nice having someone to talk to occasionally so I don't want to blow her off just because my family is complaining. I also don't want my parents/grandparents to be constantly pissed off at me for this. What should I do?? | My family doesn't think my friend is up to par but I don't feel like being alone and friendless again. |
t3_3ohatd | relationships | Me [28M] with my GF [28F] of 2 years, we're a great match except for that I have feelings for my classmate | So I think I know the answer to this, but there aren't any people I can talk this over with in person that don't have some level of a conflict of interests, and I just need to bounce this off someone. This is a throwaway account, obviously. Names have been changed.
So Jennifer, 28F cohabitating GF, and I, 28M, have been dating for two years. We get along great, have very similar interests and life goals.
Recently, I went and spent a semester in a different country and didn't have loads of contact with Jennifer. During this time, I developed feelings for Liz, 24F, a classmate, because due to the nature of our course we had both been very apart from our support and needed it, so we became each other's support. It was briefly physically intimate.
Now that I'm back, things have been tense between Jennifer and I, she knows I was close with Liz, but not how close I was. It's difficult being intimate with her because of this, and that she's working on a few unrelated emotional events of her own, which I want to support her through. The worst part is, Liz lives nearby, so it's not like the physical separation would end things, and I still think about her all the time. Some days I want to be with Jennifer, and make it work despite having feelings for someone else, other days I want to be with Liz because of the close bond we have.
I'm not sure if I should end it with Jennifer, because it's selfish to pretend nothing happened, or stick with her but tell her the details because that's what I'd want her to do for me. | Was away from great GF for a while, developed feelings for another, which persist. Is it selfish to stay with or not tell GF? |
t3_3m0g9g | relationships | I [20M] am feeling trapped in my relationship with my gf [18F] | We've been together 3 years. I don't enjoy our relationship anymore and we live an hour an a half away from each other at different universities. I want to break up and meet new people and go on dates and experiment, but I know that breaking up would be hard on both of us because we've been together for such a large portion of our lives.
She's the only gf i've ever had. I've never gone on any other dates, or been with anyone else. I'm scared to be without her but i don't like being with her either.
She used to cut herself. I helped her stop. She often says I'm the only reason she doesn't. I'm scared she'll start again if i leave. I still love her and I still care about her. I just want to be free.
I need some advice. I'm scared. | feeling trapped. Not enjoying relationship but i can't say it's bad. I want to be free but i don't want to hurt her. |
t3_535nid | relationship_advice | My girlfriend [18] doesn't like me[19M] going to raves, need advice | I'm a big EDM(electronic dance music) fan and I love going to events because I really love and am passionate about the music and my girlfriend knows this. I've even met some famous artists. I've gone to a bunch of events before while dating her too and she's expressed to me she doesn't like me going because of the atmosphere there (girls half naked and drugs etc). So I started going less because I don't want her to be unhappy. I told her this but she said it makes no difference. I understand that shes probably worried about me taking drugs and cheating on her and dancing with other girls or whatever but I wouldn't do that. I don't want to completely stop going because it's what I love to do and I don't want her to change me. But at the same time I don't think she understands that. It sucks too because I dont feel appreciated for the times ive missed some events because I didnt want to go too often and make her mad/sad. | girlfriend wants me to stop going to raves completely, i explained to her i go there for the love of the music and artists but she wants me to stop going still. |
t3_51xm8q | relationships | I'm [17]M and fell in love with [17F]. | I'm [17M] and never had a girlfriend. It's been a year since I started looking for one and finally found her. She's my classmate and I love her so much. I can even imagine us as a family with kids. I used to have social anxiety but it's gone now and also started getting better grades. It's Friday afternoon and I'm sad because I won't see her until Monday. We usually don't talk every day but I enjoy every second spent with her. I just want to hug her and never let go because she's so cute, amazing, beautiful.. She's shy and I want to ask her out. | I love her. Can't even explain how much. I don't know how to ask her out, TBH. Any suggestions? |
t3_z1qfm | relationship_advice | [22/m] Is this wrong? Should I even try? | Backstory: I'm an artist and a writer and have only been in love three times. Each of these times the girl I loved swore we would start going out soon and she'd make the next date etc etc but never did. The first used all of the love poems and stories I sent her to win competitions before admitting to it and telling me she never actually loved me. I practically completed the second girl's art qualification for her, at the end of which she conveniently 'got bored' and didn't want to see me any more, I later found out she had had a boyfriend for the last 6 months. The last one I knew for 3 years and kept demanding 'proof' that I loved her so I kept sending her artwork, paintings and trinkets and telling her I loved her. After 5 months of sending her gifts she stopped talking to me and I found out from a friend of both of ours that she actually loved him (the friend) and then I managed to set them up and haven't spoken to her since.
After this I decided to become asexual and that love wasn't worth it, after which in a period of 2 years 11 girls (and 2 gay males, though I was originally straight haha, bless them) told me how much they supposedly adored me and wanted to even get married and have kids which freaked me out. I was blunt to say the least and told each of them that 'I simply don't love you', many of whom were very upset, I only just managed to stop one who was particularly unstable from killing themselves. | Question is, is it wrong of me to upset people by giving absolutely nobody a chance because of some bad experiences? I feel bad about declining so many offers but really do not care for love any more. |
t3_1kd1ku | AskReddit | People of Reddit who've met celebrities, how did you approach them for a photo? I need ideas. | I ask because a couple big time celebrities are in my very small hometown filming a movie and I really want to get a photo with them, if possible. I just dont know how to go about it without seeming like a creepy fan. The logical thing to do is just ask, but I dont know when there would be an appropriate time to. I dont want to bug them, thats for sure.
George Clooney and Hugh Laurie are in Enderby B.C. It's in the North Okanagan, since you've probably never heard of it. This is probably the most exciting thing my town has ever experienced. They start filming [Tomorrowland] this Friday.
So my crazy mind came up with I I could possibly bring some sort of food item to the set saying I'm a delivery person, or stay at the local pub that they have been visiting, and just wait....both ideas are kinda creepy. It's a small town so maybe I could just walk around hoping that I just casually bump into them. That may work, I dont know reddit....I'm just flabbergasted. Any ideas? | George Clooney and Hugh Laurie are in my small town, and I want to get a photo with them without seeming like a creepy fan. |
t3_2j1y40 | relationships | [24M] met [24F] at a mixer. Unsure how to proceed. | I find this weird, so I am using a throwaway.
A few weeks ago I was at a party hosted by an organization in my area which helps young professionals meet and make connections. It is pretty low key and more of a group of friends than an organization.
So I have been to these events before and it is typically the same people in attendance. This particular time, however, a new girl showed up who had just joined. I found her very cute and it was my intention to speak with her and get her number before the night ended. But being a new member, she spent most of her evening going around introducing herself to be polite. I was only able to converse with her for a short while, and I wasn't able to fit in anything to gauge interest. It was a 'Hi I am so-and-so, I moved from ____, I work in _____, and it is nice to meet you' type of conversation.
This bring me to my question. The only way for me to contact her at this point in time is through her profile on the organizations website. Contacting her there does not feel 'proper' to me, especially because I do not even know if she is single. The next meeting is a month from now and I feel as though I should wait and speak with her then, but I have no idea if she will be in attendance.
So, ladies.. Would you be creeped out if a man were to go out of his way to find a way to contact you and ask you out, or would you find it flattering? On the flip side, would you prefer it if he did so in person? Keep in mind that we only spoke briefly, and I do not know her relationship status. Also keep in mind that I am attractive, fit, and well-kept because (sadly) that seems to sometimes be the difference between cute and creepy. | Met a girl briefly at a mixer. Interested, but unsure of whether I should contact her now or wait for an opportunity to get her number in person. |
t3_3ixjdy | relationships | Me [25F] and my Fiance [28F] had a huge blow out fight about money and now i don't know how to come back from this. | My fiance and i have been together for about five years now and i am starting to have doubts about us. the story is so long i don't even know where to start, but bassically my fiance is in a lot of debt from student loans that she has yet to pay for, she has let them slide so much she defaulted on them and continues to have the same attitude towards other bills we have as well. Meanwhile, she spends way too much money on eating out, make up, etc. and blames me every time we are short on money.
just the other day i got a huge medical bill from going to the ER. My anxiety has been so high that i have been have back to back panic attacks and even needed to quit my job so i could sort myself out.
i started panicking and crying trying to figure out a way to pay for this huge medical bill when we are already slipping on bills. i recommended that we sell our tickets to New York Comic Con so we could afford everything. She freaked out and stormed off leaving me there to figure everything out myself. She has apologized and stated she would try and get better about spending, will try and sell the tickets, and will catch up on her bills. She even agreed that wedding planning would have to wait until things got better.
I know that she is trying but i feel like this last fight has taken so much out of me that everything she does is bothersome and frustrating. i keep catching myself snapping at her for little things that don't matter and i have no idea how to move past this fight. i find myself fantasizing about being single and living alone but i still love her. She is my best friend and we have developed a life together but i feel like maybe everything has built up to this point. | My fiance is horrible with money, we had a huge fight about it and i still can't seem to get over it. |
t3_2jdwe6 | dating_advice | As a late bloomer, is it creepy to prefer younger women? | I dealt with crippling shyness through most of my youth, but in the past few years, starting in my mid-twenties, I've been doing therapy and have been able to overcome a lot of my demons.
Having missed out on so much in my younger years, I've ended up chasing younger girls quite a bit. When I was 26-27 I dated a girl who was 20-21, and both before and after that I had some more casual relationships with 19 to 24-year-olds (mostly early twenties). I'm now 28 and the girl I'm hitting it off with is 21 again. Part of it is also that I look quite young and get more attention from that age group than women my own age.
It's not just about physical attractiveness -- I find a wide range of ages attractive and have gone out with older women too. A lot of it is that it helps me feel like I'm making up for lost time in a way, and being socially immature myself, I seem to click with them better.
The only thing is that I sometimes feel bad about myself for doing it, since going after younger women is such a cliche and seen as a pervy/creepy thing. I haven't caught too much flack for it, probably since I look so young myself, except that once in a while someone looks puzzled to hear I'm in my late twenties. Although that happens when I'm alone too, hah. | Late twenties, only started dating 2-3 years ago and keep chasing younger girls 19-24. Am I a bad person for doing it? Is that kind of age gap too big? Should I try to get past it? |
t3_vogvn | loseit | Today marks two months. (some thoughts and side-by-side proggies) | So today marks my two month progress. I started at 183.8, and I just weighed in at 157.8 (I rounded up to 160 because I know that 2-3lbs of that at least are 'on-diet pounds').
Some thoughts so far...First, I accomplished my initial goal, which I'm pretty stoked about. Initially, I wanted to cut down to 160, and I thought that would _NEVER_ happen (I tried it all - Atkins, FatSmash, blah blah, and every time I tried a diet I would last about ehhh a week. lol). So I was initially pretty stoked about that, but I wasn't finished by a long shot. Now that I can see the *faintest of beginnings of* abs, that's my end-of-summer goal.
If I had one piece of advice I would definitely throw out there, it would be to not be obsessed with the scale. Some days I would step on it 4-5 times, and it would frustrate me. The scale is just a number. How YOU feel about how you look is more important than any number (scale, bodyfat%, BMI, whatever). Obviously, if you're in an unhealthy situation, you're gonna wanna get into a healthier and happier situation, but ultimately happiness is going to come from YOU as an internal source rather than an external one such as a "magazine-look" or that ever-so-frustrating scale.
Changed my mind, wanna give two pieces of advice. My second piece of advice is figure out what works for *you*. Who cares if Jessica Alba did it, or if 90% of the bodybuilding.com or fitness.com (or even reddit.com, don't hate me) and had results. That doesn't mean that you're going to necessarily have those results or have the same experience that others have had.
Anyways, I just wanted to make this post more to offer advice to those who want it, and to also show appreciation for this community and how you guys have treated me and one another, having a community like /r/loseit has made this experience a lot more successful for me without a doubt. | STICK TO IT. Don't do it for anyone else, and don't get too hung up on numbers or other peoples' opinions. Make yourself happy. Also, thanks /r/loseit. |
t3_2p95nd | relationship_advice | [20/m] When to ask my lab partner [21/f] out? | I know the correct answer is "yesterday", but I'm presented two real opportunities and I'm trying to figure out which of the two is better.
Next week is finals and we have plans (along with our other two lab partners) to study on Tuesday and Friday (right before the final). I could ask her towards the end of the Tuesday study session, but if I get turned down I don't want to make Friday super uncomfortable/unworkable. I could ask on Friday after the final, but I feel like that'd be waiting too long.
I'm terribly (not totally) inexperienced in this, and I do have anxiety, but I'm fairly confident I could diffuse the inherent awkwardness if I got turned down. I'm not too invested in this, so it's not a huge deal if she says no. I'm more worried about what it could do to the Friday session! | We're having study sessions for our final on Tuesday and Friday. Tuesday might make Friday awkward if I get turned down; Friday is probably waiting too long. What's the better time? |
t3_1eczoh | dating_advice | I [M,22] really like this girl [20], and she likes me back, but she is also hung up on an ex, is this something I have to be patient with, or can i be more active? | We've known each other for a few months. I went out on a date with her, we had fun, but she said she broke up with a guy a month before, wasn't looking for anything serious, but i was really cool and wanted to still be friends (i originally thought this was just a brush off).
THe other night, i ended up drinking with her and a few of our friends, and we were flirting quite a bit, and she said to me "if it wasn't for this stuff with my ex I'd be all over you."
Is this something I have to wait out, or can I do something to "win her over?" | If just nut up and finally kiss this girl, will it taker her mind off her ex and put it on dating me? |
t3_tcxqs | relationships | Can an emotional affair be one-way? And if someone was in one, can they still remain good friends? | I'm 39M, and my wife is 38 y.o.. We have an awesome relationship, active sex life (4+ times per week), and have been together for close to 20 years.
The issue is that I have a great friend, 35 y.o. female coworker of 2 years, who acts much differently around me than other people. We talk about all types of things (basically like close same sex friends would), but around others, I basically don't exist. My concern is that she may be overcompensating for some underlying feelings, or that I am filling some type of void in her life, and that to her (or her husband) this is setting up an emotional affair.
Can an emotional affair even be one-way? She's attractive, but I am not attracted to her (my wife is gorgeous, so I almost never pay much attention to other women), nor do I feel any "desire" for her ... to me we're just great friends. I'm hoping she feels the same way, but it still bothers me that she acts so differently when others are around ... like there's something to hide. I tell my wife everything, and she's fine with me having friends who are girls, so I just don't get it.
My hope is that the weirdness will subside over time. Am I being naive? Or maybe I'm just reading more into this and everything is OK ... she's never said anything that would even indicate she has a thing for me (just the oppositie), it's just the behavior that is weird ... my wife just thinks she's "different". I'm afraid that if I bring it up she'll feel even weirder and just drift away as a friend. | Small chance that a friend who is a girl may be having an emotional affair with me, but I'm not with her. Would love to remain good friends, but not sure if it's possible long-term. |
t3_3axbpj | relationships | Me [20 M] with my SO [19 F] of 1 year; my spoiled, narcissistic sister is in a jealous rage over my SO. | To begin, my relationship with my SO has been as strong as ever for almost exactly one year now, despite long distance. We spend breaks in between college classes together and Skype often when separated.
Unfortunately, over the past several months, she has learned about the self-centered tendencies of my sister [15 F] and what kind of intolerable human being she is.
My sister has been making these visits notably unpleasant lately and reeks of jealousy that encompasses my SO's skin complexion, the fact that she is mixed-race, that she regularly talks to my sister's ex and even that she receives more attention generally around social media like Instagram and Facebook (my SO learned all of this through my sister's ex). He admits that she tried to hide her jealousy by openly insulting my SO.
To add, her ex has revealed to my SO that my sister trivialized my SO's depression and anxiety attacks; she complained to him that "[my SO] freaks out over nothing."
I would appreciate advice on how to break it to my sister that she's displaying disgusting traits and needs to make changes in her life before she loses all her friends and has trouble finding any dates. | My sister is unhealthily jealous of my SO but masked it by outright insulting her and who she is as a person. How is this repairable? |
t3_2um3gp | relationships | My [23 M] girlfriend [23 F] and I are on a break. Seems like she is replacing me. | My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years now. We've gone through some ups and downs, shared things that we wouldn't share with anyone else, things like that. She's been the best girlfriend ever, and we're like best friends to each other in addition to our relationship. Or were, anyway.
Recently, we made some new friends. She spends a lot more time with them, since I tend to be very busy and only available on weekends. Probably important to mention, they're all guys, but I trusted her.
I became really clingy soon after, which I admit was my mistake. I eventually got over it. A few days later, she told me that she wanted for us to have a break. She said she wouldn't date anyone else, and that she still loves me, but I needed to become more independent. She said she wants to be with me after I learn to be. Fine, I could handle that, and began to work on myself.
Now, she does talk to me, and I do hang out with friends sometimes, but I am kind of an outsider to them because I haven't spent as much time with them. One of them in particular seems to take an interest in her. They play games together. On weekends now, I don't even get much of a chance to talk to her, and I can't even be alone with her at all. On Facebook, she's removed things that she tagged me in, and reposted them tagging the new friends in them instead. She even removed all the pictures that she had posted for me, including one of her with my name written in a heart on her hand, which I loved. She knows I saved it, but I still liked to have it there.
She still says she loves me, but this guy that I mentioned earlier is also throwing compliments like "you're such a qt3.14" on her pictures. She is not telling him to stop at all.
I don't know what to do guys. I want to save this relationship if I can. Up until recently, she was head over heels for me, and she could prove it. | Gf on break, says she won't date other guys. Removes pictures meant for me on FB, reposts tagging new friends instead. New guy seems to be interested. |
t3_1l1rkf | relationship_advice | Advice from "long termers" | Ok so I am in a serious long term relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years. We have lived together since almost the beginning of our relationship and our connection was very strong from the start. For a little while now, especially lately I have been feeling less and less passion towards him. I don't really like to have sex anymore or even kiss him. There have been some broken trust issues (no cheating, but some lying and covering up on his end that always get revealed). He feels me kind of pulling away, which I assume causes him to feel less of a draw or connection towards me as well...at least that is how he has been acting and speaking lately.
I guess what I am asking is: is it normal for the passion to fizzle out, as the way I described? Or could this be me actually falling out of love with him, and maybe I should end it...I am scared to break up with him because I am not feeling passionate, only to find 7 years later with a new person the same lack of feelings. I don't want to be chasing around lust for my entire life...I want a life partner. So if anyone out there could offer some advice I would really appreciate it. I have heard that the 7th year is always the worst for some reason, so part of me is hoping that is what we are going through.
My boyfriend and I have been best friends for so long, I can't imagine my life without him, and I'm not that scared of not being able to find someone else, just that I wont have him in my life anymore. | Is it normal for passion to fade and not have any sex drive at all (not even kissing) after 7 years? |
t3_itxm0 | AskReddit | Guy Code vs Relationship Tension | About a week ago my girlfriend's roommate cheated on her boyfriend of three years. During that time I have gotten to know him very well and consider him one of my friends. Currently they are in a long distance relationship and while that inherently has it's faults, it doesn't excuse the situation. While I would like to let this situation go, I frequently have to spend a lot of time with the roommate and the other guy involved. It is uncomfortable. If the situations were reversed I would want to know rather than to remain in the dark. However if I tell the guy it could cause tension for my relationship and I may not be welcome over because of the resulting drama. My girlfriend was also bothered by it but as it's her friend her hands are tied. Suggestions reddit? | Girlfriend's roommate cheated on her boyfriend. Guy Code says I should say something. Saying something could create tension for my own relationship. |
t3_43wf02 | relationships | Me (21f). No one likes me when they first meet me, I am obviously doing something wrong. How do I ask someone what that is so I can stop? | Me: Very painfully shy. I am a very quiet person and I find it comforting to be silent. I know people may not like this so I make an effort to talk when around others. I also have social anxiety so people freak me out a lot. But I keep trying to put myself out there and keep falling flat. I try to make new friends but it seems like they don't like me. I start new jobs and my coworkers and boss don't like me. I'm trying really hard and I think my shy anxiety comes across as something completely different. I need to know.
I **know** that I am not just being anxious and this is real life reactions to me because I had a boss who was very open and he kept asking me why I was being weird and what was wrong with me.
I want to know how I could ask someone what I am doing wrong so I could work on my behaviour.. I will not be asking a random I will be asking a kind of friend who I have gotten to know in a group setting. | People find me off putting when they first meet me. Need to know what I'm doing wrong. How do I ask? |
t3_4fnhmw | legaladvice | [TX] Apartment ceiling leaking water, with possible mold growth. Management dragging feet. | Location: Fort Worth, Texas
My wife and I just transfered apartment units and, two weeks after moving in, have discovered that the ceiling leaks badly into one of the bedrooms. We're on the bottom floor and have discovered that the leak is coming from the ceiling, which leaks at an even worse magnitude into the upstairs neighbor's apartment. Apparently, it has been doing so for over four months now, and management has known about it but does nothing. They just say "we're working on it."
Now, I'm not going to be as patient as they: I've already contacted management and told them that it needs repair and that I want mold testing done. They simply told us that our unit has all-new sheetrock and won't have a mold problem (that's not how it works), and that they'll get on it. Maintanance came by yesterday afternoon to seal up the window and ceiling (they tarred the roof). Unfortunately, a huge rainstorm came through last night and the leak is just as bad - except this time, it took out one of our laptops. There is also an odd smell coming from the bathroom, which may or may not be mold.
I contacted our city government yesterday to verify that leaking ceilings are code violations, so I know that I can take that route. But what else can I do? Do we seriously just have to "wait it out," and hope that they do end up fixing it, while mold could be growing and the room becomes increasingly unusable? | Apartment has bewen leaking for four months into upstairs neighbor's place, and leaks from their place into mine. Management has been dragging their feet. Is there any way to compel them to resolve the issue? |
t3_3plip3 | relationships | I am [23M] My SO [19F] told me she doesn't feel a spark with me, but I feel like that's not the case. | She and I both have very busy lives that keep us stressed out all of the time. We are both in college and have jobs as well so this barely leaves us time to see each other. When we do have time be together we are usually very worn out. She is smart, caring,absolutely gorgeous and seemingly really into me until recently. We were perfect together for months, never had an argument for any reason she felt great and so did I. Then she started taking 8am classes, working until 9pm several nights per week and her depression set in. I do some things that really bother her in the way of texting. She will text me all through the day wether I am busy or not and I respond when I can, but sometimes It's hard to respond if I am trying to focus on a task, occasionally I just forget to respond. Additionally when I am with my friends I dislike being on my phone and texting a lot, but we did still text every day because of this she feels like I don't care about her and she is an after thought even though I invite her to hang out no matter who I am with or where I am, so she always knows she is welcome.
When I see her face all of the problems from my day melt away.
I have never been so completely attracted to a girl in my life.
We have tons of things in common with school/life and in bed, we can go from talking about interesting things we learned one minute to peeling each others clothes off and fucking like we're the last people on earth. She doesn't judge me when I do things wrong in my life and encourages me if I get down, I do my best to do the same for her.
Whenever I hear from her now it almost feels like she has to fight her feelings for me to stay away.
Our problems seem so trivial I just want her back. Its been two weeks and I continue to feel worse and worse about letting her get away instead of feeling better. | we are both busy, tired and I am a bad texter which lead to her breaking it off because we don't have a "spark". Which I think is untrue. |
t3_uk49n | AskReddit | Who would be in the Reddit Version of the cover of the Sgt. Pepper's album? | Reddit has a lot of favorite celebrities and scientists (as well as other humans known for different things) so i just wondered who would make the list/ picture of 70+ people to make a Reddit version of the Sergeant Pepper's album cover?
My votes would be
* 1. Stephen Fry
* 2. Carl Sagan
* 3. Stephen Colbert
* 4. Tina Fey
* 5. Christopher Hitchens
* 6. Jon Stewart
* 7. Jimmy Carr
* 8. Gordon Ramsy (a lot of love for him recently)
* 9. Neil deGrasse Tyson
Damn it would seem my list is lacking women folk... Sort this out Reddit!
If someone is artistically able to recreate this Reddit version it would be awesome. | Need 70+ names to recreate the Sgt. Pepper's Album consisting of Reddits favorite humans. Who would you pick? |
t3_28clo4 | tifu | TIFU by finding my phone | Tonight I fucked up and here's how...
After a awesome day with my girlfriend I went to her place for dinner and some quality movie/ board game time with her family.
She and I play lots of Clash of Clans and if any of you play it, you'll quickly find that it eats through battery like a fat kid eats through cake. Being me I found a place to plug my phone in and continued on with the night.
Unbeknownst to me I had forgotten my phone at their house when I went home. Just now I decided that I wanted to plug in my phone that for all intensive purposes was somewhere at home with me.
After a long search I decided I'd give the Android Device Manager tool a try with the hopes that my phone still had a sliver of battery left. To my surprise it did and without thinking I hit "ring" *at 11:00 at night*
Not a second later I noticed that the house my phone was located at looked strikingly similar to the girlfriend's house. I feel absolutely terrible about it
The worst part besides waking up her poor parents is that my ringtone is [Mulatto Butts from Archer] | Girlfriend's parents are getting a very inappropriate song blasted through their house in the middle of the night because I'm an idiot |
t3_w8nkj | AskReddit | This subreddit has seemed really depressing to me lately. What are some good things that people have done for you recently? | I'll start.
Yesterday my parents ditched me to go to the boat after promising to drive me 21.5 kilometres(Google maps'd it) to a friends house in a nearby town, and they just told me to bike there an hour before I had said I would be there.
Of course, I hadn't biked anywhere since last summer, but I was in a rush so I pumped up my tires, grabbed my helmet and some water, and off I went. Now, I live in the middle of nowhere in the Greater Toronto Area, let's leave it at there were no sidewalks, most of it was uphill and there were nails and rocks everywhere.
So. There I was, 4 kilometres out after 20 minutes, wondering why it was going to slowly, when this italian guy pull over on the opposite side of the road, asking if I need a lift. At first I decline, but then I see that I have a flat tire, and that it's just him and this older guy, and they are headed my way anyways, not to mention that I have a black belt in karate and had my pocket knife on me just in case.
Anyways, we get going and I notice that the old guy looks like a stereotypical italian mobster boss straight out of hollywood, and I start to be a bit scared... But he drives me the extra 17 kilometres out of the goodness of his heart, going far past where he needed to just in order to help me. I almost feel bad about having my knife in my hand under the seat the whole time... | Got driven 17 kilo's for free after parents ditched me by Mafia boss and his son, was scared of being kidnapped despite being an alleged ninja. What's your story? |
t3_2lzmdy | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [26F] of six years, moving away and she wants me to support her | My girlfriend and I have been living together for a number of years but I've recently been offered an amazing job in another city. It would mean I would have to move pretty far so I would only be back maybe once a month tops. I told my girlfriend that I would need to move out of the place we have together, because I'll need to have to pay for a place in my new city. She got very angry when I explained I wouldn't be able to pay my half of the rent anymore, said I was abandoning her and dropping her in the shit. I suggested getting a lodger but she isn't keen on this because she likes having the place just to herself. I should add that I'm giving her about 2 months notice until I need to move away, and originally I suggested we move together and get married, but she didn't want to go because her friends are all in the city we live in currently. I feel like just because she wants to stay, I shouldn't have to keep paying for a place I won't be living in (except maybe when I visit from time to time). She has made a bigger deal of the financial implications than she has of the me-not-being-around so much stuff.
I feel very torn between my urge to look after her, and my urge to make sure I'm not being taken advantage of. I had always said I would help her out but she has already borrowed quite a lot of money from me in the past, but because she doesn't earn very much she hasn't been able to pay me back. I don't want to pull the rug under from her but I feel like I've supported her in the past and now I might need to do what is best for me (I have student loans and overdrafts I need to pay off over the next couple of years). I love her very much but I'm starting to think this situation is not fair on me. | Need to move away for work, GF doesn't want to come with. Should I keep paying rent for the place we currently share but will no longer live in? |
t3_4f0lgr | relationships | My (32/m) wife (30/f) decided she wants to be a SAHM but was offended when I told her that she would have to start digging into her savings. How is that unreasonable? | I make approximately 70k and she makes 45k. We agreed that she would work when we had a child and that we would send her/him to daycare. My wife (7 months pregnant) recently decided that she was going to stay at home because she doesn't make enough for it to be worth it to not stay at home.
I disagreed, but I understand how bad she wanted to stay home. My wife also has significantly more savings than me. Yes, it's technically "ours," but we have a billing account and each of us have savings. She has a lot more saved, much of it from before we got married.
I told her that I support her staying at home, but that she would need to dig into her savings for the next year since she wouldn't be working. Not only did she disagree with me, but she was outright offended. She (for some reason) didn't understand why she would be expected to use her savings.
My thoughts are simple. She decided on her own that she would be staying at home. I supported her decision, but that certainly doesn't mean we are going to live off of just my salary.
What are your thoughts? Why would she not think by making a decision to stay at home that she wouldn't have to use some of her savings to make up for the difference? | Wife decided she will be SAHM but is offended that I suggested she would have to dig into her savings. Why would somebody think that's unreasonable? |
t3_3gnivu | relationship_advice | How do I[17F] act around an (ex?)crush/friend (17m) in September? | Throwaway, cuz duh.
(I'm Nigerian, he's Pakistani/Muslim)
Almost three years ago, I had class with this guy. He always flirted with me- he would always interrupt my conversations when I would talk to other people, stare at me a lot, copy what I was doing, make inappropriate jokes to me, always try to get my attention, everything. After some harsh words (on my side) and misunderstandings (on both parts) we didn't talk much anymore. I told him that I liked him twice (or, at least I attempted to) but he told he he didn't care and he didn't want to know.
Fast forward two years later, and we either avoid each other like the plague or pretend the other doesn't exist, or stare at each other whenever we cross paths. There have been quite a few times we have run into each other accidentally in the past two years. I wouldn't be bothered but recently my brother told me that the guy was asking him if he was associated with me, but my brother said no and the guy left.
And recently the guy walked into the same class (after school) that I was in with a mutual friend of ours. He stared at me for a few seconds, awkwardly pursed his mouth and left. It was very awkward. There were more incidents after this but this was the most uncomfortable aura surrounding them.
I didn't understand what's going on. I wanted to confront him but he seemed like he doesn't want to be bothered. Along with junior year hassles I couldn't be bothered and I just ignored everything. Now senior year is approaching and from talking to a mutual friend I discovered that the guy and I might have at least one class together. Fuck. What can I do? | An estranged pseudo-friend/crush and I may confront each other once again after two long awkward years of glances and stares; What should I do? |
t3_3tem6p | tifu | TIFU by not realizing an alligator was real | My boyfriend has a couple little statues on a table. One is a ceramic multi headed dragon that you put incense in and it breathes smoke. The other is a very realistic looking alligator head with its mouth open. I was cleaning, and while dusting the table I accidentally knocked the alligator head onto the floor, between the couch and the wall. It was a bit hard to see, so I felt around with my hand until suddenly I noticed a sharp, stabbing pain in my thumb. I pulled my hand out and my thumb was gushing blood. I went and asked my boyfriend for a band aid, and, noticing my hand was bleeding pretty bad asked me what the hell I did. I commented that I knocked over his alligator statue, and its teeth are stupidly sharp.
"Oh, that?" he remarked nonchalantly. "That's a real alligator head. Its teeth are razor sharp. You shouldn't touch those." | my boyfriend has a real fucking alligator head, that I always thought was fake, and alligator teeth are not to be fucked with |
t3_4tfu44 | relationships | I think my (male) best friend is obsessed with me. Please help! | My best (male) friend, 25, has liked me (F20) for quite a few months and he is starting to make me feel uncomfortable and I'm not sure what to do.
He has told me that he thinks I'm perfect and wishes I was his girlfriend. We have always got on well but I don't find him attractive and just want to be friends. I have told him this on numerous occasions but recently he has started to get quite possessive and seems to be taking the rejection very bad.
He texts me at least 3 times a day and I don't always respond because he would have text conversations for hours if he could. When I don't reply he gets upset and thinks I'm ignoring him. However, he seems to be manipulating me into making me feel sorry for him so I talk to him more and want to spend more time with him. He asks every day for me to go round to his house and if I'm free to meet up and if I say I'm busy he tells me how lonely and depressed he is and how I'm his only friend. He gets really jealous and upset if I show interest in any other guys. I stopped answering his texts to see if he would stop being so clingy and he texted me saying that he is very depressed and I'm making his depression so bad that he wants to kill himself. I don't know what to do because he is one of my good friends but his behavior is making me uncomfortable but if I stop speaking to him I don't want to make his depression worse to the point he wants to die! Any advice much appreciated! | my guy friend is making me uncomfortable due to his constant messaging, jealousy and inability to accept the fact that I don't want to be anything more than friends. Any advice on what to do? |
t3_f38ig | AskReddit | Advice please Reddit - How do I rent a decent house in the UK with bad credit? | A few years ago I incurred very significant debts due to a business I was running not working out. I did the responsible thing and negotiated with my creditors and worked out a debt management plan that will pay the debts off over an extended period of time. This avoided bankruptcy, CCJ's or an IVA but destroys your credit whilst on the plan. Over the years this has been running I have never been late with a payment and manage to live within my budget despite having no credit available to me.
Due to work changes my family and I need to move this year. We have a mortgage on our current house, but the debt on this property means we are in negative equity on the house and will be unlikley to remortgage and buy a property in the new location.
So we are looking at renting a place with a family member living in the house we own and covering it's costs.
Between my wife and I we pull in a 6 figure income so we are financially stable in that sense. We have two kids and three cats.
So what I am hoping is the UK Redditors can provide advice on how to approach the landlords and estate agents and convince them to let us rent. | I make good money, but have a large debt from a bad business choice which is being consistently paid on extended terms but destroyed my credit, how do I convince a landlord to let me rent a house. |
t3_1cb2ns | relationships | How to bring up a question of lifetime commitment to an SO that is possibly against marriage? | I am F(23), he is M(23). We've been in a relationship for almost 2 years, living together for almost a year now. Everything is great, nothing is wrong, and we seem very compatible. The problem is, everything is very smooth, but I still worry if he's planning to stay with me for a long time or is it just a comfortable relationship every one of us wants to be in. Now, to clarify, I'm not looking for any immediate action, I just need sort of a plan for the future known to me, or what is the best way to get it out there.
We have talked about our views on marriage: he refuses to get married to anyone for ideological reasons - that is, until gay marriage gets legalized, he doesn't want to get married himself. He made it clear to me very early in the relationship and I highly respect that. Now, I view marriage as a lifelong commitment more than utilization of government benefits. The problem is, even though that commitment is possible without a ring on my finger, that ring would act as that promise I'm essentially looking for. I'm not sure how to explain that more clear, but I'm definitely willing to answer questions if any are to come up.
My question is how to bring that up and actually find out what the future plans/intentions are without seeming demanding or clingy. Also, if you guys can come up with any idea of how to make that promise of long-term or lifetime commitment I'm comparing marriage to possible without the actual hassle, I'm very open to suggestions. | Have a good relationship, how to bring up/ resolve a question of a long-term/ lifetime commitment possibly without getting into marriage? |
t3_3yfqlq | relationships | I [22M] have been dating a girl recently that I really like [22F], but I've never had a serious girlfriend. How should I approach this and will it matter to her? | So I'm 22 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or a serious relationship. Having said this, I've had ample experience with women and the closest thing I've had to a relationship was 'seeing' someone casually on and off across a period of 9 months (I say 'seeing' because we never spoke about what we were and it was kept very casual with no commitments). I've had girls who have told me they wanted something long term thing from me, but I decided against it because I basically didn't like them enough to make such a commitment (I'm very picky).
Anyway, I've been on a few dates and slept with this girl and it's been going great so far. We have a lot of chemistry, similar interests and motivations etc. She is the first girl that I could see myself actually committing to a long term relationship with.
Since it's still in the early stages this topic hasn't come up yet. I'm wondering what she's going to think of it when it eventually does and whether it's going to be a dealbreaker for her (she's a girl who's been in relationships regularly since she was 17 and is the same age as me). How should I approach this? I don't want to scare her away through my lack of relationship experience... | I've never had a serious girlfriend, girl I'm dating has had a lot of relationship experience. How should I approach this topic to not scare her away? |
t3_2hckrm | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex [21F] How would you react to receiving a letter from an ex? | Thanks to anyone who reads and responds.
I broke up with my ex girlfriend a little over three months ago. Ultimately what led to the end of our relationship was a lack of communication. We really liked each other a lot but little issues snowballed into bigger problems and eventually things went to hell. Our sex life was non-existent for the last month and a half of our relationship and she always had an excuse whenever I tried to make plans with her. I got frustrated and broke up with her. She didn't seem to take it well. Two weeks after the break up I told her that I still liked her and I was willing to make things work. She said she still liked me but it wasn't what she wanted right now.
I kept busy over the summer. I worked, travelled, and dated other people. The problem is that it's three months later and I still have feelings for her.
I saw her on campus recently and I decided to text her. We mostly just made small talk but she seemed receptive and happy to talk to me. I asked her if she wanted to catch up over a cup coffee last weekend. She responded eighteen hours later saying she had to work all weekend and that she felt hesitant about meeting up. I responded by saying the invitation was open.
The point of this is, I want to send her a short two paragraph letter. I want to start out by saying that I thought about her and the good times we had together often over the summer, but I understand why she wouldn't want to meet up. The second paragraph would be an honest apology over my role in the break up and assuring her that I still cared for her.
Yes, I want her back. Yes, I know that I'm only setting myself up for heartbreak. But our relationship started out perfect and I can't shake the feeling that it ended prematurely. I've heard people say that the only way an old relationship can work is if the problems that led to the break up are resolved. I think that our problems can and are being resolved.
I need to know for sure that it can or cannot work. I can't rest until I get some kind of closure. | Want to send a letter to my ex apologizing for my role in the break up and letting her know I still care. Would this make me come across as a crazy ex? How would you respond to getting a letter like this. |
t3_deabo | AskReddit | Does anybody know.... | Hey internet. How've you been? Ok, enough chit chat, let's get down to business. Do any of you wonderful people know where someone could find an alarm clock that, instead of, or in addition to making some annoying sound or turning on the radio, could also turn on a light when the alarm went off? Like, basically a lamp with an alarm function. Or something. I just think it would be incredibly convenient (I live in Canada, in the winter it's dark for like 16 ****ing hours a day) to have the light on when you're trying to wake up for work. So... anybody know where one of those can be purchased? | I want a lamp that can turn on at a set time (alarm) and don't know where to find one. |
t3_wka7j | dating_advice | 20[M] whats going on, what should i do? | ok i want to give you guys a run down on what has happend so far, just so the you understand whats happening, ill keep it as short as posible, also sorry for bad spelling/grammar :3
ok so i met this girl [19] online on Okcupid, turns out she uses reddit and hence the throw away ;P anyway that kicks things off bettween us because we instantly had something in common, it also turns out that we like the same music, movies, games, and we have a very simular life style, one day she gives me her phone number, without me asking for it (WIN) about 3 hours after that we meet up at midnight at a local castle (*she lives close to it, i had to cycle 7 miles god damn it!*) we instantly start talking and it never stopped, we walk around the castle and ended up in a local park, we talked all night then ended up laying down her head resting on my arm, looking at the stars, i could have died happy right then, anyway after a couple more hours we head our seperate ways, but we kept texting each other, she called me cute a couple of times, anyway she came to my house the other day (*second time seeing her*) and we sat and played video games for a few hours laughing the whole time (*her idea not mine*), i then walk her to the bus stop and wait with her, we ended up talking about sex and she told me about some funny situations she's been in then the bus came, we having been texting eachother the whole time after.
anyway i know that i want to be with this girl 100% however i dont know how she feels about me because she is just as friendly too me as she is too everyone, it's driving me mad not knowing how she feels about me. Should i tell her how i feel about her? also my friend's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks (*going to some bars/clubs*) should i invite her to come along and by her drinks and shit? maybe tell her how i feel then after a couple of weeks? im so confused.
one last thing she has mentioned he Ex-boyfriend a few times, does that mean anything? | meet a girl, i think its going well, dont know how she feels, driving me mad, should i tell her how i feel? also should i invite her to my friends birthday bar crawl night? |
t3_30s3ow | tifu | TIFU by trusting my asshole. (NSFW-ish) | So when you fart, you feel a sort of bubble pop, or a sound, or anything to confirm that what you did was the right thing, right? Well let me begin this tale by saying...
There was no such confirmation for me.
I felt it. Gas. Not huge, not small, just moderate size. Thought I would let it out and my gf (we were on a date) and I would have a nice laugh. So, I let it rip. All felt normal at first. But as I said, there was no confirmation. Then I felt it and realized my mistake. *Liquid *shit running down my ass. In a split second I realized I had to flee the scene. I told my lovely date that I was about to piss myself, then sprinted across the street to the nearest Mexican restaurant. The shitlords were feeling generous today because not only did this fine 2 star establishment have a free to use bathroom, there was nobody inside it. I run inside, fumble with the lock, and assess the damage. It's bad. Easiest way to describe it would be fruity pebbles with milk, but made out of shit. Since I was wearing swim trunks, I was considering just cutting the net out, but I didn't have anything sharp. So, I sufficed with washing the liquid/solid shit off in the sink with hand soap. Finally after I felt ready to face the world again, I went outside and look my gf in the eyes. The first thing she asked is why my pants were soaking wet. Fuck. Well what the he'll do I have to lose at this point? I just say that I pissed my pants on the way to the bathroom. She laughed till she cried while I was crying because I had to hold in my shit. It sucked. | Shit my pants on a date, ran to a shitty (hehe) Mexican restaurant to clean up, told my girlfriend I pissed myself |
t3_1j8apg | relationships | I (f18) don't know if this is and issue with my boyfriend (17)? | I've been with my boyfriend (let's call him J) for about 5 months, not very long. We get along great and have had hardly any issues, when we were in school there was a mutual friend of ours (closer to me) who we'll call H (m18). H started to develop feelings for me a couple months ago and J told me. H never told me directly but I got hints because he would flirt a lot and I let him know that J and I were not comfortable with this and I just wanted to remain friends. H got mad at J because he was jealous and they havent really been friends since. H is still my friend so I wanted to hang with him like I do my other friends but I always got the feeling that J wouldnt feel comfortable with this. I told J today that I wanted to hang with H because we were still friends and that I understood if he wasnt comfortable with me doing this and that if he wasnt I wouldnt go. He responded in text saying to go ahead and when I asked if he was sure he just replied "ya". So what im asking you all is if me hanging with H sounds like its unreasonable considering the past even though I dont return his feelings and if this would be and issue if you were in J's place. | I want to hang with a friend who used to have feelings for me but I dont know if this would be an issue with my boyfriend even though I asked permission. I dont want to unitentionally have him upset with me. |
t3_1gxayy | relationships | Ex-Girlfriend [21/F] wanted a break from me[20/M] and our 2 year relationship. | Ok so about a week and a half ago my girlfriend [21/f] called me[20/M] and proposed we take a break from our 2 year relationship because she couldn't stop thinking about how I broke up with her last year.
During the first week I texted her every once in a while because i was sad and no contact wasn't helping me. She reassured me that there was still a chance for us since she did miss me and she thought things were getting better.
About three days ago I was in a really bad spot and asked her if she was doing this because she wanted to sleep around with other guys and she said "absolutely not.".
Fast forward to this afternoon. I was looking through twitter and I happen upon a picture of her and one of my friends from school. One of the comments says "OMG you guys are so cute together". To which I started worrying a little bit. I eventually texted my "friend" and asked if anything had happened between them, to which he replied yes they had gone out a few times. I started flipping my shit and him but he said that she told him that we had broken up for good and she wanted to move on. So I bitched him out a little more and he apologized and said if he had known the truth nothing would have happened.
After that I called her to ask her. She avoided my first call but answered the second time and I started to fucking go crazy and scream at her for lying to me.
The worst part about all of this is the fact that she fucking lied to my face. She told me flat out she wasn't trying to hook up with other people and she was doing just that. She said that she didn't want to hurt me which makes no fucking sense to me because if she really didn't want to hurt me she fucking wouldn't have started fucking him. At least when I broke up with her I had enough respect for her to tell her the fucking truth. | Girlfriend of two years wanted a break to think about things. Told me she wasn't going to hook up with other guys. Turns out she was hooking up with one of my good friends from school. |
t3_4wjeiy | legaladvice | Can Verizon claim I threatened to bring a gun to their corporate store when I didn't? | I'll be honest: I know this is a crime, but I'm skeptical that anyone cares. My entire life has been underpinned with experiences of people hurting me illegally, but no one actually caring or doing anything about it except hurting me even more.
Here's the short of it. Early 2015, Verizon began offering prepaid plans which made sense. I changed my plan on the web site, my phone stopped working. I called Verizon customer service, they got my phone working again. They said that they successfully switched the phone to the new plan and everything was fine. I recorded this conversation.
A few months later, I suffer data overages. I discover this is because the previous representative lied, never actually changing my plan. He said he had done so. Therefore, all subsequent fees were the product of this error.
Ultimately, I spent a minimum twenty hours calling Verizon to no avail. I went to a corporate store, wherein I stood for three hours without resolution.
In the end, a Verizon store employee suggested I could come in the next day for a new phone with a new plan for all the inconvenience.
In the end, the Verizon store called the police and told them I threatened them with a gun, subsequently telling me I was banned from the store.
The audio recordings I have saved have me calling the store and definitely not threatening them, and I have subsequent calls from the police within the following hour telling me that I threatened them with a gun. | Verizon claimed I threatened their employees with a gun, the audio recordings I have saved prove that this never actually happened and their dysfunctional nature as a corporation pretty much allows their management to do whatever they want to bury legitimate grievances. |
t3_4sfzii | relationships | I [22 f] can't believe that my bf [21 m] of 7 months loves me anymore | I feel so silly even posting this, but this has been kind of eating me up and I don't know where else to go. Basically my bf and I are currently in a long distance relationship where we visit each other on weekends. This weekend I was with him and he seemed somehow different, like was more confident and mature. It was actually really wonderful, but I think I started to get scared that he didn't need me anymore. We went on a date yesterday, and I basically did something stupid and then started freaking out because I was scared he wouldn't like me anymore. We got over it and moved on, but I drove back today and couldn't stop thinking about it. I called him tonight and basically starting freaking out about it again. The thing is, the more I freak out about it, the more insecure I get because I feel like I'm being so annoying, and so the less I believe he actually loves me. I know he does, and he's so sweet and supportive, but I just can't get over how I acted and keep acting. I would love some advice or to hear from people that have been in similar situations. | I acted like a fool, freaked out that my bf wouldn't like me anymore and then kept freaking out about freaking out. Now I just feel like shit. |
t3_2wiss7 | tifu | TIFU by thinking my cat would cooperate | Tifu by thinking my cat would cooperate in the move. This happened earlier and my cats are still recovering from this
"traumatic" experience.
About two weeks ago we had bought a new house an hour and a half from where I am now. My mom and younger siblings had already moved in and I stayed behind to drive my sister to work and to finish packing. I decided today was the day I would finally head up to the new place, but my cat did not have that in mind.
This is where I messed up the first time. I was loading up my car for the trip when I had let my cat, Kiki, out of the house. Mind you she is not allowed out of the house because she's sort of a trouble maker. I walked after her, ran after her and snuck up on her, hoping to catch her but to no avail. I then had to call my mom to let her know that I probably wasn't going to make it up today since it was getting late and the cat had yet to come in. An hour passed and Kiki turns up on the front porch so I had the bright idea to get her ready to head out
(FU number two). I grab my dog, Kiki and my three other cats, Milo, Ella, and Blindy ( I couldn't think of a name when he was born and he's blind. Leave me alone.) and hit the road. Not even ten minutes into driving Kiki is meowing nonstop and ridiculously loud. I tried telling her to calm down but It didn't work. Ten minutes later the stench hit me. Kiki had gone to the bathroom in the travel kennel (The kennel is the size of an average backseat and fits all the cats comfortably).
I made it twenty minutes from home when I had to turn around and go right back. Get home, wash the kennel and the cats since they all stepped in it, *gag*, and tried to relax. Needless to say I don't think it will be very easy to get the cats back in the kennel tomorrow when I head up. | Cat pissed at me for trying to bring her on a road trip, runs off comes back and shits in the car. |
t3_43xvty | legaladvice | Medical Malpractice?? Ingury? IDK | So back in June I decided to get invasalign for its intended purpose. In my case, fixing small gaps. (Honestly, my teeth are pretty straight.) Went in, inquired about doing the quick version as in my eyes there were really only 2 minor problem areas. The trays didn arrive until the very end the 31st of July and so i wore them that weekend. I wore them for a total of 3 days and noticed my speech dramatically changing. I figured the usual lisping or whatever. But noticed my tongue stiffening up and hurting. At this point I didnt like it. So I took them off. I immediately noticed my s's having a distinct whistle/hiss about them. Every word containing a strong s sound like "yes" sounded very airy and not good and it wasnt the only sound i had issues with. CH, SH, R, L, T. All seem very hard to do and my tongue itself felt like a foreign thing that i couldn't control. I called the doctors office, they said my speech would return to normal and to wait a week. About the same that week. In addition to teeth bumping into each other that caused some chipping. Seen the doctor 2 or 3 times since then. They claim nothing was wrong. Called invasalin cust support multiple times. After complaining they agreed to refund me the money i paid for treatment and even provided me trays of my original impression to make sure everything was back into place. I tried them but not real luck and again I couldnt exactly talk with them and i feared would only further hurt me. I went to a speech therapist that I happened to find. Said she could help but at $75 dollars a session. Its been a few months and while i am capable of communicating, i find that my control over my tongue is very hard and theres still sounds i struggle with/ boarding a speech impediment. It worries me to tears and i have been very patient hoping it'll get better with time. I don't know where to start. | Got invalign, messed up speech and now currently living with a airy whistle like "s" and a speech impediment with r's. Was refunded money that was spent but left out to hang. |
t3_iz4au | relationships | Amazing relationship- Why do I keep fussing? | Alright, so I'll give you the down low. I've been in a relationship with an amazing girl for almost 7 months now, we were friends for multiple years before then.
She's sweet, honest, loyal, sexy, cute, smart, creative, literally everything a man could ask for. We're both 20, I'm graduated early from college working full time and she's working part time as of now.
Yet, small things seem to make me huff and puff randomly. Let me explain.
She loves tatoo's and piercings. I honestly don't mind, I think some piercings could be sexy to be frank, but whenever we discuss her plans for them- I always seem to bring up a negative point or energy to the convo, in fact I seem to be argumentative or subtly insecure at times, for no reason at all.
I don't understand it. Sometimes, I seem to just fuss over nothing, am I pulling for a reaction? Do I enjoy conflict? We get along amazingly, and I really want to start catching myself in these moments BEFORE I make them, not after when I think to myself "What the hell, I was abit of a jerk and I don't think that at all..." | I get argumentative and insecure at random times over nothing and fish for a lash back only to realize a few minutes later I'm being an idiot, what's wrong with me? |
t3_4ac7iq | relationships | Me 28F with my BF 29M duration 9 years, I don't like eating meat but he insists I do it. | I am a bit inconsistent when it comes to this stuff, but I really don't enjoy eating meat very frequently. I don't have an ethical stand on it, moreso I am just disgusted by it and worry that it'll make me ill. I was a very picky eater growing up and while I eat a lot more foods now than before, I still tip toe around meat.
I loathe chicken for fear I eat it undercooked, it's easier to deal with beef, lamb, etc because they can be a bit pink. I also stress about how fresh the meat is, if there are dry bits, does it have an odor? Can we trust the store this came from? So some days I pick at my food, swearing I can smell something off about it.
I often bring up to my boyfriend I think I want to go off meat and work towards a vegetarian lifestyle. Not vegan by any standards, I love dairy products and I don't mind if animal products are in my foods (stock, sauces, etc) but I don't want to eat pieces of meat.
He disagrees and says I will "die" and that I have to eat meat. He does the cooking in the household and won't compromise, saying I have to eat it or I will become sick. I feel like if it wasn't for him I'd have stopped eating meat a long time ago.
How do I get it through to him that I am allowed to not eat it? Asking to separate portions of food before meat is added don't work. Only eating certain things off the plate doesn't work. I've tried telling him but it's like talking to a wall, he is convinced it's a stupid thing to do. | I don't want to eat meat anymore, but my boyfriend says I have to for my health. How do I get it through to him that it will be fine? |
t3_2iqmxo | relationships | Me [19 M] with my friend [19 F] of eight months. I recently decided to ask her out, but she doesn't seem excited. | I've been friends with this girl for around eight months, but haven't been super close with her until the beginning of September this year. The more time I spent with her the more I realized how beautiful she was and how much I enjoyed spending time with her. At the beginning of this time I thought she was interested in me but as time has gone on I'm starting to think perhaps she's losing interest as I keep gaining interest. When I compliment her she usually doesn't believe me or thank me which I find odd.
Last weekend when I was drunk she kept texting me even though I told her it was a bad idea and eventually it kinda slipped. I told her I thought she was beautiful, how I should have kissed her that day, and that I'm a coward when sober. She didn't act like anything happened the next day. Fast forward a week and I decided to bring up what happened and ask her out for dinner. She said yes, which is great, but she didn't seem excited (or say no) like I thought she would. I was texting her about it later and I asked her to be honest and tell me if she didn't want to go but she said she did. Our date is this Friday... any advice? I have no idea what to make of this situation. | told a friend of mine I thought was interested I had feelings for her and asked her out; she said yes but didn't act excited. |
t3_41hm62 | relationships | my boyfriend (m/26) thinks I (f/21) cheated on him when I really didn't | me and him have been together for almost 2 months. We started out as FWB and were FWB for a few months before we started dating and he knows all about my past sex life.
about a week ago we got into our first argument. He refused to talk it out so I just went over to his house (i know thats crazy) and we figured it out everything was good.
a few days ago he sent me a text asking me If i have been cheating on him. and I of course said no cause I really haven't
well it turns out he is experiencing symptoms of an STD. He swears up and down he has been faithful.
back in September I had caught an STD but I went to the doctor and got the medicine and was good. but whenever I caught it I had no clue until I gave it to someone else and that person had symptoms of it. It's possible that I caught it again and didn't know and gave it to my boyfriend.
When I first met my boyfriend I was honest and told him about the STD.
but now he refuses to reply to any texts. If I call he hangs up.
yesterday he texted me early in the morning asking me to come over to his place but I had work so I couldn't. I offered to come over when I got off work and no reply. I've texted him a couple more times and no reply. I tried calling him he just hangs up.
im not sure what to do. Do I give him some space? Should I stop texting him? should i keep texting him? I thought about just showing up at his place but I've done that before and I don't think he'll answer the door this time .
honestly what can I do?? I really don't want to lose him | boyfriend thinks i cheated on him cause he caught an STD from me. I really didn't cheat. he refuses to talk to me. What can I do? is the end of my relationship? |
t3_3cdeol | legaladvice | Pending Divorce, Family Violence, Contracts, oh my! | Married a woman I felt sorry for because she had lupus, two kids, and had lost her job. Not a good reason to get married, obviously. So around two months ago I gave up, filed for divorce, and at the same time, put in an order to transfer to a smaller apartment. The agreement was that she would sign a Waiver of Service and that would be that.
Fully expecting either her parents to take her in or she would find another job, I didn't think much about it. Fast forward to a week ago, I've finished moving to the new apartment, and she is begging me to let her stay in the new apartment through the summer as no one would take her in and she had been unable to find a job. I begrudgingly let her, still needed that Waiver anyway so keeping her close until I got it didn't seem like a terrible plan.
It was.
I go out to happy hour one night after work, and start getting gibberish text messages from her (common when she is having a transient ischemic attack) but I can make out that she wants a doctor and she has lost my dog. Let me preface this by saying since we have been together she has lost my dog a total of 5 times, and by some miracle we've managed to get him back everytime. So I get home, drunk and upset, and slap her on the arm in a "Are you serious, this again?" way, she WAILS like a banshee, and crumples to the ground. Within seconds we are swarmed with neighbors and office staff, and police are called, and I am arrested. Protection order, the works.
Now, this week, she is offering me a "deal" in order to not press charges. Basically, I am completely tapped out, and need help writing up this contract. So long as it looks vaguely legit and the wording is all nice and official like, I think she'll take it and we can go get it notarized. I don't have money to pay an attorney / paralegal to write it up, and while she says she has one to review it, I know she doesn't. | So.... who wants to take up the call to write this up, or at least, provide a template? Maybe even just help with wording? Here is what I need in the contract: |
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