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t3_315tfq | relationships | I [21M] broke up with my [20F] GF hooked up with one of her friends, and am now back together with my previous GF. | So basically I was dating this girl Alice for a year then broke things off because we are long distance and it was too much for me. 6 months later I ended up hooking up with one of her friends from high school that happens to live in the same city as me. I subsequently got back together with Alice a couple weeks later, which had been a long time coming. I didn't tell her I had hooked up with her friend because I didn't want to unnecessarily damage our relationship, especially during the rocky period as we were just getting back together. But now I feel really guilty that I haven't told her and am afraid that it will somehow come out from someone else, which would obviously be less than ideal. It seems clear that I should tell her about this incident but how? | Dated a girl, broke up with her, hooked up with her friend, now back together and wondering how to let her know. |
t3_2lmhv0 | relationships | I'm (23F) having severe trust issues with my (25m) boyfriend. Most of it stems from past relationships, don't want it to plague this relationship. | My boyfriend and I have been officially together for a month. I really care about him, but I'm having a really hard time trusting him. My first boyfriend left me for my best friend, the second one broke up with me to date the girl of his dreams (and then I stupidly took him back when she dumped him). A close mutual friend of my third boyfriend and I immediately started flirting with him after we broke up. All in all I've had experiences that have left me feeling betrayed and with severe anxiety. My dad cheated on my mom on a regular basis, so as you can see, I've grown to feel like jealousy and distrust are regular, natural feelings in a relationship.
I really care about my current boyfriend, but any time he mentions a close female friend or talks about his female coworker it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I want to trust him though, I don't want to have this constant anxiety, I don't really have a reason to not trust him (although I've seen him lie to his boss and was pretty good at it). How do I manage this unreasoable jealousy? | My family and past dating history have left me with severe trust issues. I want to trust my boyfriend but I don't know how to manage my distrust and jealousy. |
t3_t27j1 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I woke up today and realized the world is falling apart, the Internet isn't fulfilling it's potential, and I'm in a position to do something about it (with your help). How can we turn our collective passion into something more? | Reddit, I woke up this morning pissed off but inspired. And here's why: for all the awesomeness that is the Internet, it is under-delivering on it's promised ability to promote conversation that creates lasting change in the physical world (Arab spring aside).
The CISPA bill, Occupy protests, and Trayvon Martin tragedies are perfect examples - I see so much passion from this community in standing up against injustice, hatred, oppression, etc...but scanning through the comments, **I don't see a consistent outlet for us to channel our passions into action.**
So Reddit - let's make ourselves an imgur for activism. I'm a humble web developer and can get the ball rolling, but I need your ideas. What would you participate in? A virtual protest? A Twitter barrage directed at your local rep?
Just to kick us off, I can suggest a few ideas:
* A mobile/web app that allows anyone to give a voice to the unvoiced (through photos, videos, audio, and text)
* Gathering a 360 degree picture of issues that are important but ignored, and where the facts are spread all over the place (i.e. bring together personal stories, hard data, news reports, history/timelines, etc) | Let's build ourselves an imgur for Reddit activism. Suggest your ideas for what the site should do, and I will build it.* |
t3_19zv66 | AskReddit | Can you help find a Go Pro for a man that lost his young girlfriend to Leukemia? | Matt and Bec lived in Mackay, Queensland, Australia. Matt is 31 years old and Bec 23 years old.
Matty and Bec started there holidays in Whistler on the 3rd of February 2013 and returned home on the 17th February 2013. On arrival back in Australia, Bec was admitted to hospital that night. Bec was flown to Townsville Hospital, where she was then diagnosed with Lukemia and died 5 days later due to complications.
They have been together for a couple of years and had both gotten the travel bug… they had many more adventures planned.
Matty is a big winter fiend, he has been before, and it was Bec's first time to the snow and snowboarding. She was very excited, and she absolutely loved it! They instantly started looking at property prices for holiday house. While over there, they stayed at the Pan Pacific Mountain Side in Whistler Village. During their time there, Matty has lost his GO PRO on the mountain. The GO PRO itself has a touch screen back with a monster energy sticker. The footage on it is of Bec and Matty on the Eco Tour Zip lining and of snowmobiling.The GO PRO was lost at the top of the gondala, which takes you from Creekside gondola, up. They got off at Mid Station and took the easiest way out to whistler village. Was lost on that run… you will find the report at the lost and found if you need anymore info… it was lost around the 7,8,9 and 10th… Lost and found would have the exact date and time.
Matt would just love the footage back because it was the last footage they have together, and the last moments captured of their time together. Who wouldn't… We would just like to put it out to the world if anyone comes across it or has found it PLEASE PLLEASE PLEASE email the photo's to [email protected] or contact 0434948996. All we are hoping for are the photo's back as they are irreplaceable and their last memories together. | Couple went to Whistler for holiday, lost a Go Pro. Arriving home she was diagnosed with Leukemia and died suddenly. We are hoping to find the Go Pro. |
t3_sz0ie | GetMotivated | The last 24 hours have quite possibly been the most important of my life. | I am 17 years old, in my last month of high school. When I was in the 3rd grade I got really sick with pneumonia and was put on a bunch of steroids. I have been overweight ever since then.
All through high school I have been socially awkward and likely depressed. I've been lucky enough to find some very good friends who've helped me. Unfortunately there is only so much they can do to help.
Next year I'm going to a Big Ten university to study journalism and hopefully start writing creatively again. 8 days ago I found out that a girl I had a crush on in the 8th grade is going to the same university as me. At first I thought this was just another awkward situation I would have to deal with. This is where the change comes.
Friday night I texted one of my best friends to tell him my situation with this girl. I was so nervous about what he would think that I was literally shaking. He gives me some advice I don't like: Contact her. I argue with him for a few hours and he finally gives up. I go to sleep.
I wake up Saturday and I think to myself "Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?" I friend her on Facebook and I'm anxious for the next few hours. I decide I need to take my mind off it so I go on the eliptical in the other room. I run a tenth of a mile, stop, do five push-ups, ten jumping jacks, start over. I do this five times. It takes less than ten minutes.
I go back to check my computer and she accepted my friend request. I realize at this moment that I am in complete control of the situation. I'm no longer nervous and it's one of the best feelings in the world. I message her Sunday morning. No reply. I don't worry. I do another five sets of my new exercise routine. I come back to my computer and I talk to this girl on facebook for a good hour. I tell my two best friends and they so excited for me. I'm no longer afraid of social situations and I'm excited for the future. From now on, I am going to do five reps of my new routine twice a day. | In one day, I conquered my social anxiety and found a way I can run a mile, do 50 push-ups, and 100 jumping jacks in 20 minutes. |
t3_43rn79 | jobs | Should I leave my current job (that I love) for more experience? | I was hired right out of college by a company on a temporary basis. My contract ends in May, and there is no guarantee of hire. However, my boss has made it very clear that she needs/wants to hire me. We get along very well and have become really close. I adore my current job. It's exactly what I wanted to do right out of school, and I love every single one of my coworkers. Company culture is huge for me.
I'm in the process of applying/interviewing for other jobs (just to be proactive in case something falls through with my current position). I've been very open with my boss throughout the process and vice-Versa. She knows I'd love to stay where I am, but she doesn't have the final say about when to hire me (it's up to the operations manager - budget issues).
The other job I'm most actively pursuing is 2 hours away from where I'm living currently. I would (obviously) have to relocate. However, I am planning on relocating to this new city eventually anyway - I just didn't expect it to be so soon. Salaries for the two jobs are comparable. The new job is with a very well known company in my industry. It would look great on a resume, and it would give me the opportunity to gain experience in a broader capacity.
So: if I get offers from both places, should I stay in my current position that I love and continue to gain experience? Or should I relocate to accept a new position that would allow me to expand my skill set?
I think I'm afraid of accepting this new job and not loving the work/people/company as much as I do now. However, if I don't accept this new position, I'm worried that I'll regret it down the road when I choose to move to the new city. | should I stay in my current position where I love my coworkers, work, and company so I can gain experience, or should I take a chance on a new job offer and move to expand my skill set? |
t3_esx2a | AskReddit | reddit i need advice. i took my car in for an oil change and a few hours later it died. | i don't know a thing about cars. i took my 97 maxima in for an oil change today at one of the major chains that provide this service in canada. i was about 1500km overdue for the recommended change. they talked me into some sort of engine flush. i thought the gentleman said it was $19 but it turned out to be $119. after the oil change and the flush, they had me rev my engine at 2000rpm for a few minutes to burn off the old crusty oil. there was a lot of thick grey smoke. they said this was normal. i then drove to a friends house less than a kilometer away where the car sat for about 5 hours. i tried to go home but my engine shut off whenever i tried to put the car into drive. there was very little oil on my friends driveway if there was any at all. if they didn't cap the oil properly i likely lost all the oil in the 30 second drive from the lube joint to my friend's place. i had the car towed back to the oil change place which was closed for the day. i saw a small stain of fresh golden oil with where they had me revving my engine. i just don't know anything about cars and would be grateful for any advice on how to go about handling this situation. are they liable for the well being of my car in this situation or am i s.o.l.? best case scenario, they fill the car up with oil and it runs like a charm. worst case they killed my car and won't want to deal with it. tomorrow morning will be fun. | i took my car in for an oil change and it died. i don't know anything about cars and i don't know what to do. is the oil change place liable for the potential damage? |
t3_22l3zu | relationships | Me [21 F] with my 'friend?' [21 F] Am I being a bad friend or is she using me? | I recently just got out of a relationship and have been looking to make new friendships. I don't have many female friends. So I met this girl and we bonded over a few things and she seemed really nice. I was excited! I made a friend!
But now I'm concerned because either she is using me or I am being a bad friend.
One of the first nights we hung out she ended up getting black out drunk. No one could figure out how to get her home so I just let her stay at my place. After this, she has taken it upon herself to have a slumber party with me every week.
She doesn't drive and she lives about 30-45 minutes from me. For this very short friendship, I have been driving her from point A to point B.
Tonight, after trying to make plans with her since 3pm, she tells me at 9pm to come get her from some place and drive her home. I said that I couldn't and she seems upset.
This obviously sounds one sided, so let me make it clear that she seems like a really sweet and smart girl and has offered me gas money.
Am I being a bad friend..? | My new friend needs lots of rides and places to stay. Am I being a shitty friend to someone who needs a lift, or a gullible chauffeur? |
t3_1irtj4 | relationships | I thought myself [22M] and my girlfriend, [22F] together 2.5 yrs, were on the same page about marriage, turns out not so much. I'm crushed. | I've been with my girlfriend for two and a half years, and over the last six months I've been hinting at thinking about getting engaged at some point over the next year. Things like asking what engagement ring styles she likes and etc. I've known for quite a while that I would like to spend the rest of my life with her and have children with her. All of my questions were met with answers, no hesitation, no hints that she didn't want to talk about it, or wasn't even ready to think about it.
This summer I've been taking classes to finish up my degree to graduate in May, and she has a teaching job lined up for the next year, having just graduated this past May. This summer she has been a counselor at a girl scout camp six hours away, and this has left me with a lot of time to think about where we stand, and where I want the relationship to go. After thinking for about it for the better part of two months, I decided I wanted to make a commitment, to know where this relationship is headed.
I went to visit her this weekend for the first time in two months, and told her all of this, that I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. She has known since day one I don't get into relationships with just anyone, and that this relationship has a future. But it was met with "we're so young," she kind of became distant and the one that crushed me was, "I just don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Up until this point all of our discussions on the topic had been mutual and agreed that this is where we were headed, and then she blindsided me saying she wasn't ready to think about it and that the last 2.5 years have just been dating and having fun, when they've been much more than that.
Am I wrong or crazy for feeling a little shocked by this about face on the topic? | Girlfriend of 2.5 yrs no longer wants to discuss engagement/marriage any time soon, no longer sure where relationship is headed. Help? |
t3_uy9wu | relationships | Recently soberish; realized friends are dicks. What do I do now? | 27, female, 5 plus years relationships
I've spent the last year cleaning up my lifestyle. Quit drinking excessively, stopped smoking pot/cigs, started working out, met a great dude friend, etc. etc... During all the changes, noticed my "friends" acting differently. I tried talking with them numerous times, with no reply or indication from them that anything was wrong. Now, they have all pretty much phased me out of their lives without any explanation. Actually, they've all become closer because of their common low opinion of me.
I am confused as to whether this is a good or a bad thing. I don't really see what we have in common anymore, but I'd be dishonest if I said it doesn't hurt my heart. I feel like I sobered up and realized my so called friends were all dicks, so why can I not get over it? Also, how do I start new friendships? I feel like I'm out of the loop and don't really know how to start again...? | soberish; all friends decided I'm no fun anymore. How do I get over it and how do I meet new people? |
t3_4c6ckx | relationship_advice | (17/m) my friend(18/f) deletes our conversations and its really starting to bother me a lot. | so ive known this girl for almost a year now and we get along really well and shes an awesome friend. we understand each other perfectly and i believe thats why we get along so well. i first noticed she deleted my messages when she asked me to send her bus times and i sent them then she asked again and i asked where they went and she said she was clearing up her messages a bunch of bullshit that was. her boyfriend doesnt want her hanging out with me for some reason not sure why and she doesnt tell him when shes chilling with me. i see her almost everyday so i feel like im just being kept in the shadows and it bothers me. i confronted her about it and she said she deletes our messages so her bf wont see. i was just in too much of a shitty mood so i just said whatever you gotta do what you gotta do. she went to her bf's last night and she didnt respond to my message any other peson i wouldnt have cared but her i was bothered because the reason she didnt reply is because she deleted the message it just pisses me off.
so im faced with a dilema i feel she doesnt value me as a friend due to her hiding me so i just want to tell her to fuck off till im no longer some secret but on the other hand i dont want to tell her off because she helps me out a lot with my problems and we talk a lot because we both feel depressed and worthless but we are making progress finding the better things in life.
any advice on what to do here is greatly appreciated. | girl deletes my messages to prevent her bf from seeing that we chill and talk it pisses me off and want to tell her off but cant do it since shes a helpful person in my life. |
t3_165wnf | relationship_advice | New gf has kid, a month later i'm still not comfortable with this, break it off or go with the flow? | new women in my life has a 9 month old with an ex husband, only about a month in, my thoughts on this when she asked how I felt we're 'lets give it a shot' , roll with it right? I don't hate children, I wasn't planning on having my own anytime soon but, try something new, so she's awesome, so far so good between us, finally got to see the little one, calm kid, good natured no real problems there.
But, my initial instinct, before deciding 'wtf lets try it out' was that this was a bad idea , i'm 27/m , we're both students, with jobs but, even after meeting the little one and getting along real well I still just don't feel it. What 'it' is I can't really say.
I'm trying to give this a fair hearing but, this isn't just a womens heart I might break, what If it goes well for another 3 years and then I end up resenting the child and projecting that to her? what if we fall apart but its 4 years down the road and i've been playing dad during those crucial early years?
I could man up if it was my own genetics on the line but this is definitely a new situation for me, I'm trying to not act selfishly.
Do I cut it off before things get more emotionally involved between us?
should i weigh up the good with the bad?
Should i listen to that voice saying 'get out' or just compromise?
Or should i give myself the chance to meet my ideal girlfriend?
does questioning wether or not i'm ready for this basically mean i'm not?
anyone with relevant experience , any help appreciated... | new women has kid from ex, our relationships great, went in with reservations about this, met the little one who is awesome, still have a bad feeling about it. |
t3_2uefjs | relationships | Me(18m) with ex (19f) I still can't get over her. Why? | Hello, it has been 4 months since my ex and I broke up. Before then we were together as a couple for 9 months. She was my first everything and I genuinely loved her. But why can't I get over her, forget about her, move on in my heart. My heart aches for her even though my mind doesnt.
She cheated on me(reason for breakup), made me feel like shit many times by accusing me of cheating, I treated her so well and always made sure she was happy. She is a horrible person and I can't even get her out of my mind. I saw her yesterday with the guy(her ex, now bf again 25m) she cheated on me with and my heart died. Before this I thought I was over her. He never had a job longer than a month, no degree, overweight, and lazy. And still I can't forget about this girl.
I always viewed myself as inferior, or less than other people. After the breakup I didn't think like this anymore. I also viewed myself as ugly. After the breakup, I saw myself as beautiful, I work out, have good facial features, have a little bit of acne though, and am fairly tall. I improved in so many ways since the breakup and yet she is always on my mind.
Why can't I stop thinking about her? My heart misses her, but my mind doesn't, I hate her and I still love her. I'm so confused because I don't know how to move on. Every time I feel good about myself, I think negatively and think a fat loser got a beautiful girl, why can't i, a fit and fairly good looking man, get her or another girl? I know this is a two part question I just need some advice on how to move on. | I miss my ex, I hate my ex, I don't hate her, I'm confused as all hell, self-image issues. |
t3_2t8iyg | relationships | My [22F] coworkers [20s-60s M/F] frequently make comments about my age and weight. | A few months ago, I started a new job. I work in a small office with several other men and women, ranging in age from late 20s to early 60s. I am the youngest person in the office. I am also fairly physically small -- average height, but thin. It's just how I'm built.
My coworkers are generally friendly, pleasant people. However, they make a lot of comments about my age and my weight (only the women say things about my weight, though). They're not insulting comments, but they annoy me -- comments about my "skinny legs," needing to "put some meat on my bones," "the wind's going to blow you away," etc. I've been asked point-blank "why are you so skinny?"
As for my age, those comments bother me less, but they are irritating when I'm hearing them every day. Just silly things like asking what year I was born and then feigning shock, or making references to "old" things (i.e. the Brady Bunch) and then saying, "but I'm sure you don't remember that, you're so young," etc. They ask me what my age is, a lot, even though I've told them numerous times before that I'm 22.
None of these things are particularly offensive in and of themselves, but all together, they're causing me to feel insecure (about my appearance and my qualifications) at work. I want to know if I'm being overly sensitive, and if I'm not, what are some things that I can say in response to these comments? I would like my coworkers to see me as a peer and a professional, rather than a skinny little girl. | I like my coworkers, but their frequent comments about my age and weight are getting on my nerves and making me feel insecure. How can I respond to these comments appropriately? I want to be treated and perceived as a professional adult. |
t3_dukpu | needadvice | Wanting to sell two computers to fund a black friday computer purchase | Before you start hounding me for advertising, I'm not. I actually was planning to sell them to two friends who have been asking me to help build them new(er) computers. The two systems are as follows:
1. Phenom X3, Sapphire HD 4670 512MB, 2GB DDR2-667 (Integrated Sound, Video and Ethernet)
2. Athlon II X2, Sapphire HD 4670, 2GB DDR2-800 (Integrated Sound, Video and Ethernet)
They both have hard drives as well as power supplies to place inside of said machines. The desired uses for the computers they want are mostly WoW and Starcraft 2, which both of these systems are more than enough to do so. The Athlon II can play Dead Rising 2 somewhat well on lower settings so I know the Phenom could too. I would have liked to CF the 4670s(to save me having to buy a video card) and sell them the systems for even less without video cards but the HD3300s on the motherboards give less than stellar performance in SC2 even on lower settings, so the 4670s are going as well.
I want to accomplish two goals by selling them.
1. Be able to cover most of the costs of a budget build for me come Black Friday
2. Give them the systems for as low as I can afford to.
Right now I gave one of them an Athlon 64, Ti4200 and 1Gb of DDR RAM. The other one already had a similar system except no video card so I gave him a Radeon 9600 to place in it. They can play WoW on those but only at lower graphic settings and with just above average frame rates.
I know enough about building systems but maybe not so much about buying them. Last year was the first time I ever bought anything online so maybe some of you could tell me what I could expect to see deal wise this year as well as a suggested price to sell to them for. Lower is better but again I still have to be able to get enough out of this to help get me a 2010 budget build as well. | I want to sell the two above mention systems to two friends for as little as possible while still being able to use the combined returns to fund a large chunk of my 2010 black friday budget build because neither of us 3 are rich. |
t3_2j2j20 | relationships | I [21 M] have a [20 F] girlfriend of a year, but am in serious love with another girl[21F] | My girlfriend[20F] is madly in love with me, has very high libido(to the point where we would go through a 20 pack of condoms in just a couple days) , and very cute.
However, I can't commit to her fully because I'm in love with another girl [21F], who doesn't love me, but have had moments together where we both thought "it would be nice to be dating you". She is someone I could see spending the rest of my life with, AKA "The One".
She recently broke up and we have been talking a lot more than before. Girlfriend goes to college 500 miles away in another state, but the girl of my dreams in in the same school as me.
Girl of my dreams doesn't have high libido like my current.
Do i break up with my current just to confess to the girl of my dreams about how i feel? | Would you rather have safe, lots of sex, but long distance relationship, or confess to the girl of your dreams who may not even like you? |
t3_224b6x | relationships | Me [23, M] and my girlfriend [21, F] of six months broke up. Taking it too hard. Need some advice. | I'm just looking for another perspective on why I am taking the ending of this relationship so hard. Before this, I got out of a two year relationship but I seem to be struggling with this one more.
We had been together six months. I did everything I could to be a great boyfriend and accepted/loved her exactly how she is. She often told me I was too good for her.
However, she had some childhood trauma that lead to her identifying as asexual and not really being able to connect with others on an emotional level. I just accepted what love she could give me and hoped that someday we would get to a point where she could move over those issues and fall for me.
She was always very reserved with her time and feelings. For example, she went away for spring break and we didn't talk for a week and I had flowers delivered to welcome her home. When she got back she did not get ahold of me for a while and then even said she did not miss me while she was gone.
After six months and no change in sight for her being able to connect with me, I decided that it was probably best to end things. We clearly wanted a different type of relationship and different futures. During the conversation I changed my mind though, and told her I would keep working to make things work with her. She said that since I was questioning whether or not we would work that she did not want to be in my life any longer though.
So even though I had intended to end it, and I was not getting the reassurance or emotional attention that I needed, I am devastated that she ended things with me. I truly believe we are a good fit and that we could have a life together if she could open up to sharing her life with someone. Anyways, why am I taking this so hard? And what can I do to move on?
If I left out any important details, I will be happy to paint a clearer picture. | Emotionally unavailable gf left me after six months and I am crushed. Why am I so sad and how do I move on? |
t3_w6o2r | relationships | Am I a bad girlfriend for being worried about a friend of my boyfriend? | Both 22 (m/f), a little over a year together.
So I met my boyfriend at a school retreat that met with other schools as well. I pretty much kept to myself and some of the new people in my group while there, and he and I talked a lot but I didn't want to think anything of it at the time.
There was another female there from a school across the country, and he and her hung out a lot, and she's an acquaintance of mine as well after the program.
Anyways, as I watched from afar most of the week, I thought they really seemed to have a connection and hit it off really well. She was dating someone at the time, but I would think how they even looked like they should be together. (You know what I mean? How many people tend to date those that share similar features?). He talks with her on and off, not really about much of anything, but gets really excited every time they do chat. She's planning on coming out to visit him, myself, and a few other friends from the retreat next week, and I'm freaking out about it.
I think she is so much better than me in every way (and always have) and I'm terrified he will see her, and now that she is single, rethink any emotions he may have had towards her. I told him about how I felt and he said that there's nothing to worry about, but I still can't help it. They just seem to have so much in common and I keep thinking about that connection they seemed to share that week. I firmly believe there isn't just "the one" for everyone, and that you can fall in love with multiple people, so obviously this doesn't make me feel any better either.
We have hardly ever fought, and the few serious ones we did have we talked through and worked through together. We have so much fun together and there's no one else I can picture myself with, and I trust him 100% (even though my question seems to indicate otherwise). | Mutual, gorgeous, friend that boyfriend seemed to have a connection with at a retreat is coming to visit. Should I be worried? |
t3_4eof2m | relationships | My [18/F] broke up with me [19/f] after 2.7 years of being together. I am at a total loss right now. | Advice is always appreciated but this is more of a way to get this off my chest. Two weeks ago, my girlfriend broke up with me after being together for 2.7 years. She said it was because she does not want to be committed just yet and that she needs time to focus on college work and her friendships. It has been two weeks and I am still destroyed from it. I am just at a complete, total loss on how everything was perfect and happy and all of a sudden she just changes her mind about our future and us. It is even worse because I moved to the place she goes to college to attend a community college and be close to her. I take all online classes and I work so I don't really get much social time. The only social time I got was when I went to her dorm and to parties with her and basically made friends with her friends. Now that she is gone, I have been up in my apartment stuck with my thoughts and no one to talk to about it.
I have no friends and I don't have her and I just don't know what to do with my life right now. I tried to use tinder because I live in a college town to try and meet new people and get her off my mind but I can't even talk to the girls on there because they are all just so boring and they don't compare to my ex. Everything I do reminds me of her because I did everything with her and I just really miss her and I still really love her. She made a huge impact on my life and basically made me the person I am today. I have been hopeful that maybe she will just show up at my apartment door and want me back but then at the end of the night, I remind myself that she's not coming back. To which I just end up waking up the next morning to get my hopes up again. I don't feel happy anymore and I feel like I have nothing left in me to keep on keeping on. | Girlfriend of 2.7 years breaks up, I'm destroyed and have no friends, no longer know what to do with my life. |
t3_l7svd | AskReddit | drug hair test question. Help please. | I have smoked pot heavily (at least everyday) for a good 15 years. In 2009 I applied for a job and haven't had a word from them till late August of 2011. Once I received word from them I quit on the spot and have been sober since (little over 2 months). They are asking for me to come in for a medical examine, which includes a hair drug test, by the end of October.
About 6 weeks since quitting I took a urine test and came out negative for marijuana (haven't done any other drugs since High School). Two weeks after coming up clean I shaved off all my body hair (very itchy and annoying I might add) which brings me to just a few days ago. My question is: is the hair that is now growing in be clean?
From what I understand when you smoke/ingest drugs those drugs will be in your bloodstream and since the hair will grow with the "toxic" blood coursing through your body the drugs will show up in your hair. So from what I understand, no matter how long you have quit a drug, the hair that grew when you were doing said drug, will contain remnants of that drug.
Since I had quit and cut my hair body hair 2 weeks after coming up clean will the hair now growing in be clean enough to be tested? | Quit smoking 2 months ago, came up clean on urine test 2 weeks ago, shaved off body hair a few days ago. Have test in 2 weeks, will the hair be clean (and will they accept it)? |
t3_3vwzzm | tifu | TIFU by being blind | Okay this happened today, a few hours ago in fact.
I was at school in a lecture where the attendance is marked by signing beside your name on a name list. I sat in the middle columns alone because I was late by a couple minutes and the side seats tend to be filled up. The name list was going around the left side till it reached me. After signing on it, I'm suppose to pass it to the right. And so I did. I stood up and walked over (the place wasn't fully filled so I gotta walk a bit) and place it on a girl's desk without saying a word, assuming she'll know to sign it and pass it along. The girl was looking in front and didn't react to me placing the name list on her desk.
Irritated, I then waved my hand in front of her face and said 'uh hello? attendance list?' as I thought she was just day dreaming. The students beside her then notice what's going on and told her the list is on her desk. She jumped up in surprise and apologised to me. The student beside her also helped her sign her attendance. I thought it was weird but I just went back to my seat thinking she's just too lazy to sign or something. After the lecture, I was walking out and I was getting weird stares at some people. My friend, who was sitting a couple seats behind me, went up to me and said 'What the fuck bro, why did you do that?'. I was puzzled and was trying to figure out what and when did I do something wrong. I was trying to argue back saying what I did was justifiable as she ignored me and all. As we talk, I saw the girl, with a BIG walking stick (something I missed), walking out of the theatre with her friends' guidance. That's when I realised it, she's blind. Now I'm at home, with a test to study for tomorrow, but feeling terrible and barely made any progress for my test prep. | Didn't see that a blind girl is blind (with her walking stick), acted like a dick and now feeling too shitty to study for a test |
t3_3r41lt | tifu | TIFU by meeting my boyfriend's dad for the first time. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to two years and I have yet to meet anyone in his family (there's a whole separate back story about this). Usually our nights end at my apartment, since my bf lives with his elderly father. Last night we went to a party that was about 5 minutes from his place. So instead of driving the 40 minutes back to my place we crashed at his. I've stayed there a few times before but I usually leave at 5-6 am to avoid his father.
Until today.
We wake up way later than usual (thanks alcohol). We shuffle out of his house, and even though his dad is in the kitchen, he doesn't see us. BF says bye and goes back in side and I'm looking for my keys. I can't find them any where. I'm in panic mode.
This is where I pause and tell you what I was wearing (and not wearing) at the time. Since I didn't want to put my costume back on I was wearing leggings, a tshirt with no bra (I'm large chested and it's obvious), no shoes, because I only has books but I knew there were flip flops in my car. I also has smeared green makeup all over my face and black smears on my eyes.
I call my boyfriend and ask him too look for my keys.
Suddenly I hear a "Hello" behind me. Poppa came out for the paper. I refuse to turn around and just grunt and wave my hand. He goes back inside. My boyfriend comes out with my keys seconds later.
The cringe hasn't stopped since then. | been waiting 2 years to meet my boyfriend's dad. His first impression of me will always been a half dressed, shoeless, green smeared face, grunting girl. |
t3_1tfkqa | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] 4 years. Having a hard time finding friends. | My gf and I met in high school and have lived 2 hours from each other for the last 3 years. We have been very happy but we've both lost all our friends since high school and only hang out together. We don't enjoy clubs, drinking, bars, or most social settings but watching TV and shopping is getting old and I know she is growing tired. I am moving in after the new year and want to make sure I am not boring her. She doesn't have any hobbies because her schoolwork takes most of the time she has. I just really want to keep this girl and I'm afraid ill be shut out when i move in because I cant include her in my hobbies (uninterested) and I am not very good at conversation. | Suck at talking, very awkward, I'm worried girlfriend will get bored when i move in because we don't have friends and my hobbies are boring to her. |
t3_1f9neo | relationships | Very close friend [18F] is in love with me [19M], don't know how to handle the situation. | So here's the whole story: I've been going through a rough breakup during the last couple months, and one particular friend [18F] has been there for me [19M] more than anybody else. She's nice, good-looking and I really like her, we've been good friends for several years now.
Then, like one month ago, it started. We've always been into making dirty jokes and teasing each other a bit, but suddenly, afte a concert, we just sat there hugging and holding hands. I didn't think it was anything special, considering I really like hugging and cuddling, especially when I'm a bit drunk.
As this went on almost everytime we met, I started asking myself if she was into me, but somehow I couldn't get myself to ask her about it. I knew if I didn't want to ruin our friendship I should stop this right now, but it actually felt really good, so I played along.
Last Saturday we went to a concert, and afterwards she came to my home for a cup of tea, and we watched a movie in my bad, cuddling as usual. Suddenly, she moved her head and kissed me. I kissed her back, then she stopped and told me that for her it was more than just a kiss.
I really didn't know what to do, so I didn't say anything and we just quietly lay on the bed, it was pretty awkward. Then I told her to get up, we went into the living room and I made her a cup of tea and talked, but didn't really find a solution to the issue. I think i wouldn't have let it come so far if I didn't have any feelings for her, but I honestly can't tell if the feelings are just friendly or if there's more, and I'm really afraid to lose her, because she took quite an important role in my current life.
So here's my question: How can I reject her as a lover without losing her as a friend? | Friend [18F] is in love with me, I [19M] am not. Want to keep her as a friend, but don't know what to do. |
t3_3qtqu9 | relationships | I [24 M] am loosing one of my very close [25 M] friends , over stupid/unclear reasons! | One of my close friends is not taking any of my calls, replying to any of my messages and is basically just shutting down every form of contact for over a month now...
It all started gradually and I don't know why... but as two fresh graduates who get busy with new jobs this is bound to happen... we still hung out a lot along with a bunch of friends often, almost weekly.
Recently we had little arguments in our common chat groups over silly little things and I egged him a little, it wasn't very offensive to either of us and it was back and forth.
He then suddenly removed me from the group chat, made sure he organizes outings and events without me being invited and closed down every form of contact... even if I did something that offended him this deeply without knowing... I'd think that you'd at least try to tell your friend for seven years that you have a problem with something they are doing! | Close friend of 7 years suddenly shutting down all contact with me, even blocking me from hanging out with my group of friends. |
t3_3ypywv | relationships | My [30 F] husband [33 M] can't stop checking his ex's profile | About a year ago, I used my husband's facebook (he was right there, it was not snooping). When I clicked on the search bar, it auto-populated with his recent searches and I noticed that his ex gf was first on the list. This is an ex from a very long time ago and I have no reason to believe they've had much contact since I started dating my husband. It was not a big deal - he is obviously allowed to check on his exes once in a while.
A number of months ago, I noticed that his FB was open to the same girl's profile. No biggie, right? But I was feeling a little insecure and I snooped on his recent searches - he looks for this girl every few days! And just as he can't stop looking at her profile, I now can't stop compulsively checking his facebook searches.
My husband doesn't use facebook much, so most of the time he is only looking at her profile and no one else's. And I think he is looking at her before getting intimate with me. I don't know if jealous is the right word, but I feel sad that my husband has his ex on his mind so frequently. It also makes me feel insecure that my husband apparently doesn't think that there is anything wrong with his behavior.
Should I bring this up? Am I wrong to be upset? Should I just let this go? | My husband checks his (long ago) ex's facebook profile every few days and I feel insecure and bad about it. |
t3_2dhion | relationships | Me [22 M] with a good friend and long-term crush [21 F], don't know where to go from here/ | I've had a crush on this woman for a SOLID two years now. About a year and a half ago we hooked up once (no sex, damn close). It's literally never been brought up since and all is well in the friendship (as far as the hook-up goes). I've asked her out a few times and made my feelings pretty clear. She's reciprocated the feelings in the past, but ultimately things fell through on her end every time before anything really happened.
Some shit went down and the friendship went south for a bit. No biggie, we've talked it out and we're good to go. At this point we talk pretty much every day a decent amount, usually by way of text or whatever. Hang out every couple weeks or so. I can't get this girl out of my head though. It's cheesy, but she's GORGEOUS and HILARIOUS. She's quirky and has her faults (don't we all?), but she's a good, genuine person. I don't know where to take this thing! It makes me unhappy that I'm not getting what I want out of the relationship, but that's not her fault of course, she just hasn't been interested in taking it there.
What are your thoughts on the matter? I can stop talking with/hanging out with her. The thought makes me unhappy and uncomfortable, but I know I'd get over her faster in the long run. Two things keep me in this: 1. I truly do enjoy her friendship. She's a go-to when I need, or even just want, to talk. 2. I'll admit that I am holding out hope that she already has, or will, develop feelings for me. A third option outside of dropping out, or keeping the status quo, would of course be to tell her how I feel again. I don't know if I'm up to making a production out of things again though given the history of our relationship. | I've had a thing for this girl for a long time. Asked her out in the past and have been unsuccessful. Good friends now. What do? |
t3_4hy5i9 | relationship_advice | I'm (21/m) not comfortable with my girlfriend (19/f) going out to lunch with a male friend. Am I paranoid? | My girlfriend and I have wanted to visit this small restaurant in town. Life got busy, we never got around to it. Last week she casually mentioned that she went to said restaurant and it was great. Now, it wasn't a big deal that we didn't go together—I'm not *that* petty. I then asked who she went with, and it happened to be a male friend of hers. They have been friends for a while and he seems like a decent guy. But immediately I felt uncomfortable about the fact that she went out to eat with another guy.
I'm being honest when I say that, in my mind, a meal with another girl would be off limits for me. That's just the way I see going out to eat. In a group it would be different, but going out to eat in a one-on-one situation doesn't make me feel right. When I expressed my concerns, she responded by saying it was super casual, they were both hungry, etc. I said I understood, but I still have this bad gut feeling.
Part of it may be my upbringing, which was fairly conservative and taught that any guy/girl one-on-one time is never platonic. So I might be overreacting... | Girlfriend went out to lunch with a male friend of hers. I'm not happy about it. Am I overreacting? |
t3_1tj54l | relationships | This girl and I really like each-other. The problem? She's religious and I'm an atheist. | So I've been talking to this girl for a while and two days ago we confessed that we really like each-other. The problem however is that she's religious (Muslim), and I'm an atheist. It's not a problem for me, at all, because she's extremely amazing, but for her it is, because she's scared that her parents would never approve of this if they found out and might even disown her or something.
Plus, in some aspects, I'm the complete opposite of what she's used to. Last night while talking to her, she was freaking out and was trying to find a way to convince herself that she doesn't like me, but wasn't really able to. I kept telling her that everything will be alright and that we'll find a way to make everything work, but she's not very reassured yet.
So Reddit, I need your wisdom. How do you think I should proceed? I created an account just to get some advice on this situation. Feel free to ask for more details if you have questions about something. Thanks in advance everyone!
Oh, and I'm 21, she's 19. | I'm an atheist, she's Muslim, her family would never allow us to be together, what do I do? |
t3_2unjc3 | relationships | I [22/F] am getting lots of red flags from my new girlfriend [31/F] | We've been together less than a week. We have plans to move back to where I purposefully moved away from. She's going through nicotine withdrawls and is lashing out at me for not driving down to see her (70-80 minute drive, I don't like driving long distances.) She's been couch surfing for three years and we made plans to get her stable housing together, and because of that I don't feel like I can cancel our plans and say no.
I know it's new, but I feel like if I exit she's going to freak out. I've had similar problems with former relationships where they tell me "If you leave I'm going to die/kill myself" and I felt powerless. I can't post this on my main account because she frequently looks at it. | I don't feel like I can get out of this new relationship because it feels like her life is depending on me following through. |
t3_2olwpw | relationship_advice | [19/M] How do I stop worrying about her (18/F) every second | So this girl and I have had a thing for a while and let me just explain the reoccurring situation that happens sometimes: we will make plans to hang out and she will say that she is going to come but doesn't show up for 30 minuets or an hour (even if she does show up) and afterwards she will apologize and say that her plans fell through/ had to study and lost track. I know she is super busy with school and I don't doubt her at all and completely trust her but my scumbag brain keeps telling me "Shes with some other guy" or "shes fed up with you". I know its totally not true and its all in my head but how do I stop this? | My scumbag brain tells me things about my GF and I know they are false and I need to know how to stop this. |
t3_2sfo38 | relationships | Can't tell if I'm being silly or if my exhaustion is genuinely effecting mine[F17] and my SO's[M18] relationship. | Hi reddit, I'm having some worrying thoughts that have been playing on my mind for a few weeks now. Me and my wonderful SO have been 'dating' for over a year and an official couple for six months, although we were close friends for five years prior to any romantical relationship started.
Due to work and college I find myself waking up from anywhere inbetween 5:00 in the morning to 6:30 and this means I fall asleep around 10:00 pm.
The problem with this is that I still live at home with my brother, sister, mother and father. This means any sexy times with my SO have to wait until they're all asleep and it's certain no one will interrupt us. Since I returned to college after the Christmas break I really haven't been able to stay awake late at all, which means nothing happens and this is really unfamiliar for the both of us.
I don't like falling asleep and would much rather stay up with him but I just can't help it. I rest my eyes and next minute I'm asleep. I think this has been bothering my boyfriend, he does ask me to try and stay awake so do I know it annoys him to some extent. We talk all the time over messenger and I've been receiving a lot more half-assed replied like 'yeaaap' which makes me feel he doesnt want to talk to me. He also comes to mine every Wednesday night so we can leave for college the same time the next day. He's been coming for months to do this and this week he decided not to as he's going out tomorrow night? I feel like it has something to do with the lack of sex but I don't know how to bring it up to him without seeming paranoid or nitpicky.
Sorry for the novel. I really do love him and it would break my heart if I knew this was the reason behind his what I think is quite distant behaviour. | Fall asleep on SO before we can do the sex, feel like he doesn't want to see/speak to me as much. |
t3_yo0nr | legaladvice | My friend found a clump of fly eggs on her burger from McDonald's. Advice needed! | Hey Reddit.
The most disgusting thing happened. My friend bought a cheeseburger from our local McDonald's and found fly eggs embedded in the cheese and on the burger.
Extremely crappy phone pic:
(Can anyone enhance this in anyway?)
We immediately went back to the McDonald's and asked to speak to management. While discussing the incident, taking names and swapping phone numbers, one of the employees took the bag with the burger that we had brought in to show them and threw it away in the back.
We had purchased the burger previously and NEVER gave them permission to take it OR throw it away.
Another employee that we were talking to, (the employee who had given us his name and number), assured us not to worry because he had taken a photo before it was thrown away. Of course, we asked for a copy of the photo since our initial photo was rushed and blurry, but he told us that he was unable to do that and instead, it would be sent to his manager.
What are we able to do? Ideally, we'd like to sue them/shut them down for their hazardous kept food and shady activity. I have no idea where to start.
Also, they never gave us a receipt for the burger purchase. But... we do have a receipt from an order minutes before. ...and I'm sure there's video/record of our purchase. | Found a burger with fly eggs on it. When talking to an employee, another employee disposed of the evidence-- and technically stole our property. We have a crappy picture. What do? |
t3_1sleyh | relationships | I [24/m] broke up with my gf [23/f] of two years five months ago, still having a hard time coping | About five months ago I broke up with the only girl I have ever loved to date. I think it was the right decision. We had been rocky for a while, and broken up a couple times and I knew how much it hurt her so when I did it this last time I knew it had to be the final time, I couldn't keep putting her through that.
This basically all started because she wanted honesty from me about how I was feeling in the relationship. The truth was I loved her so much but was still struggling with monogamy and all that because I was so used to short flingy relationships my whole life. My eyes and mind would often wander but not because I loved her any less. And I never actually acted on those temptations, though once I did go further than I should have (made plans to have a date with another, then cancelled). It was awful of me and made me feel terrible for what I was doing to her.
There were other issues too but they were pretty minor. Wanting to live in different areas, different styles, different breeds of dogs. But all those things could have been compromised on.
Anyhow it has been five months now, and I just can't shake her. After two years together it just becomes so natural. I still love her to death but she has completely shut me out of her life. I understand why, she wants to move on, but I can't I'm stuck in this mud. If she came back right now, even though I am mad at her for shutting me out, even though I am hurt that she is already living with another man, I would still grab her and hold her tight and never let go.
I just don't know how to get over her. | I want to spend the rest of my life loving a girl who no longer cares about me. I need to stop feeling this way. How can I get over her? |
t3_4e7yi0 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [28 M] 6 years, he defended his affair partner. | My husband had a female friend he worked with (Alicia) him and, her were very close.
She was very beautiful and I was a little insecure but I let it go because I thought she was just a good friend.
Her and my husband were very close I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous but I was. Sometimes I could have swore she was flirting with him but thought I was imagining things.
I went to get something from the glove compartment in the car and found something unusual. A pair of black lace underwear I don't own any like that and, they looked small for me so they couldn't have been mine.
I asked him about them but he said he didn't know where they came from so I dropped it but didn't let it go. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right so I did something bad and snooped.
I found the most disgusting things on his phone pictures of her naked her spreading her legs. Pictures of her and him together doing things and even a video of them, it was so gross I threw up.
I confronted him and, was really ready for a divorce but he begged to stay so I gave him another chance.
This happened 7 months ago he's been a better husband has given up all his privacy. He ended things with her from what I can tell and we are scheduled to go to counseling in 2 weeks.
We had an argument and somehow it turned into an argument about his cheating. I was very angry and said "if you don't like it that much maybe that tramp can be your new wife" (I know it was wrong but I didn't mean it).
And he said point blank while looking me in the eye "don't talk about her like that" and, walked away. For some reason I'm hurt why would he defended her after everything does he really value her that much.
Am I right to be hurt?. | my husband had an affair he cut contact with her and is trying to fix our marriage I said something about his affair partner and, he told me not to "talk about her like that". |
t3_4wumv5 | relationship_advice | My[20/m] gf[20/f] accepted sex from her ex, but refused when they met. | Hey guys,
Me and my gf has recently started dating (2 months in).
Bit of a background here:
She broke up with her ex around 4-5 months ago, but hasn't stopped talking to him just yet. I've told her to just stop talking to him because if they continue to talk, it wouldn't help him get over his lingering feelings for her. She hasn't really taken my advice and still continues to reply to his messages and his phone calls. Since they haven't stopped talking to each other, I'm very uneasy of their "friendship" and sometimes checks her messages between them. I know that I shouldn't be doing this, but I haven't built enough trust with her just yet to not be suspicious about what they're talking about.
A few weeks ago, the ex asked her if he were to buy condoms, would she do it with her. She blatantly replied "sure, I guess" but later replied with "I'm kinda on the fence". She told me that in the end, when they met, she refused and nothing happened.
I found those messages yesterday and we did briefly talk about this and why this happened. She admits that she made a mistake but nothing happened between them. She promises me that she'd stop talking to him, or talk to him only when necessary.
I'm not sure if I should just leave our relationship right here, or if I should continue being with her and risk something like this (or even worse) happening again. | gf of two months agreed to have sex with ex, but refused when they actually met. Not sure if I should just let this incident go or break up with her. |
t3_u8t16 | AskReddit | My girlfriend is treated like crap at work, but loves her job. I have to sit by and watch despite my anger and disgust. How do people deal with these situations? | So my gf is a key member of staff in a photojournalism agency, in which she is the only woman. Every now and again she comes home from work in tears because the childish, pathetic people in her office find ways to undermine her and upset her. I am not sure whether they are intimidated by her or just don't like being told what to do by a girl, but whenever there is a disagreement they will go to the boss who always takes their side against hers. There is never enough explicit evidence to prove that they are sexist, they just don't like her and seem to make life as difficult as possible for her.
Now I don't know what to do with myself because despite the way she is treated, she loves her job and really doesn't want to quit. I am obviously powerless in this situation, despite wanting to go into the office and give the boss a beatdown there is not much i can do. I can console her and reassure her that they are a bunch of assholes- but that doesn't help relieve the frustration and incredible anger i feel towards these people. | The person I love most in the world is regularly hurt by people I am powerless to stop; how is a person supposed to deal with these kind of emotions? |
t3_1nu8ew | relationships | I (F22)cheated on my boyfriend(M23) | I have been dating my boyfriend, M23 for about 2 years. He's very sweet and patient. But I don't always love him
He helps me with my anxiety and is supportive of my sobriety, but he never takes me out.
When we first started dating he was well groomed and took me out every weekend. Now he is probably the biggest slob I know.
I'm about to graduate college and go to grad school, and I'll probably finish my masters before he finishes his bachelor's.
My boyfriends been emotionally distant for quiet sometime.
One of my best friends is a guy. And he is really handsome and polite. He has a decent job.
Last night I told him about my bulimia. He is the first person I've ever told. I told him about that and my fears about dating a man because I usually prefer women. But I'm scared of a relationship with a women, scared of my bulimia, scared of grad school and how all of this will effect my sobriety.
We talked about his relationship fears. We talked about his relationship with his dad.
He took me a strip club. And it was fun. I got two lap dances.
I know my boyfriend wouldn't mind that. He would find it funny.
Afterwards we were headed to my car and my friend got real quiet. I asked him what was up and he kissed me. He told me he fancied me and has for a while. He told me sweet nothing's and kissed me so gently.
I kissed him back.
Then we drove to his place. We held hands and we laughed and he told me he liked me and we kissed some more.
We had sex. Afterwards he kissed me so softly and made silly jokes. Then he was kicking me out.
He told me as he drove me home that this was a one off and he would prefer we act like it never happened. Not to tell my boyfriend about this.
I feel so confused. | cheated on my emotionally distant (F22) boyfriend (m23) with good friend (M23) who I tell everything to. He told me he liked me before the sex but afterwards kicked me out. |
t3_z737g | relationships | How do I get a guy to back off without hurting his feelings? [19f and 21m] | So I met him online, we started talking a lot, and things were going really well. I was interested until I got to know him a little more. He's a great guy, but he's just way too forward and fast on serious relationships. We've just been chatting for about two months now, and he's really really into me. He's in the Navy, and he lives on the other side of the continent. He told me he wants to come over on one of his holidays and meet me in person.
We're friends on Facebook and Skype, and he got my number off of Skype, so he texts me too. He tries talking to me every single day, at least twice a day. He's the guy-I-should-like-but-don't. He's a great guy, but I just... There's nothing there. The more we talk, the less I like him. He's also been through a lot of horrible stuff. He wasn't exactly the "most popular kid," and he got beat up a lot. It'd be nice to still be friends with him, because he is really sweet and caring, but I don't want to be romantic with him.
How do I tell him I don't want to be romantic anymore without hurting his feelings? Should I just tell him straight up? Should I start talking to him less? Should I just disappear from his life? | Met him online. We started "talking." He got way too into me, and talks about serious relationships with me. I like him less the more I get to know him. |
t3_3azlrf | relationships | Me [28 M] with my boyfriend [27 M] advice for kind of long distance | So I've been dating this guy for about 8-9 months. We are great together but we also live about an hour or so away from each other and have conflicting work schedules so we only get to see each other once or twice a week. The weird thing is I don't hear from him for days sometimes when we aren't together. I'll call him or text him, and I then I don't get a reply from him for 3-4 days, nothing. Then on day 3 or 4 I'll get a text from him apologizing that he's the "invisible boyfriend" I melt because of his elaborate apology that truly feels like he's sorry and then don't care. But this is a recurring thing and I've told him how I feel about it but its not getting better. Is it worth staying with a guy who makes you feel great when you're together, but then when you are apart which is most of the time, makes you feel like you aren't a priority or like he cares about you? How much longer do I give him to see if he improves before I just give up? | boyfriend is absent a lot, but when we are together it's great. Is it worth feeling so up and down all the time? |
t3_m9m3h | AskReddit | my brother abuses his cat. a few times, according to a friend. Where do i go from here? | My brother is a prideful son of a bitch. Does not deal well with authority, he has been fired/quit from all his jobs due to run ins with management. angrily at that. he has been made aware of his anger issues once or twice and it turned out ok. Situation, my friend was telling him he gets too angry, he doesn't believe the friend, of course. Friend says to ask our mom about it. He does, she says he shows signs of anger issues, he accepts this. This is all according to my friend. I know my brother has anger issues and do not think it is a lie that he has abused his cat. but where do i go from here? short answer, yes, free the cat. but long answer, how to go about getting my brother help? he is very prideful, i am in 17 hours of courses, i can't deal with this full force. does anyone have experience with this? any advice is helpful. | brother is a slower, prideful, anger issues person. he volunteers and tries to do good other times( bi-polar). what can/should i do to help? |
t3_x15l5 | AskReddit | Do you know some good parents with sh*tty kids? | I WAS so freaking terrible, I physically assaulted a principal in HS, I made 2 elementary teachers go into early retirement. In second grade I started a rumor a boy was gay?! (turns out hes gay now.. but still) I had sex in middle school, I constantly made teachers cry, In 9th grade i had 243 absences from skipping. I did drugs, shoplifted. UGHH I was soo terrible. All the while I had great parents, they were always so ashamed of my behavior, they never argued much people loved them. They ALWAYS ALWAYS do and did selfless things for others, I had the perfect home life, we weren't filthy rich but for the area we deff had way more than friends, my parents never did drugs, were married before having sex, my mom stayed home, clean house good dinners, my dad always had a good job, was home early for dinner and we went on vacations, my parents always had lots of friends! still do I was just batshit insane? for the record, I was ALWAYS grounded, what made me come around was that my mom made me start volunteering at a neighborhood pantry, a home for throwaway kids, and I began directing all my bad behavior into fixing things in the community, but i was almost 17 by then, and i never flunked a grade, my mom is SUPER smart I knew how to read at 3 yrs old, and i was always getting almost perfect scores in state exams, i was just so SO bad. I have many many stories where I had consequences and punishments but I didnt care. | My parents were good parents; however i was terrible/rotten/rude child. do you guys know some good parents who just have some bad kids and its not the parents fault? |
t3_2knnf6 | relationships | Caught hubby texting another female. Should I give him a dose of his own medicine? | I am 26, my husband is 27. We've been married 2 years, dated 4 prior.
So in a previous post I explain how I caught my husband texting another women behind my back. He had supposedly deleted her from facebook and his phone after it first became a issue. That's when it started. First with her number being under a different name, then with me finding deleted messages in his email account. She sent him a selfie a d a picture of her ass. He replied with a photo. Some bullshit.
But... I forgave him. We have kids, we're a family, and I do love him. We worked out our issues, and some continue to be worked on. We're doing great. Closer after this incident.
However, I'm still feeling vindictive. He acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. It is. It was swept under the rug. He should have explained everything and had some sort of consequence... or something! | I want him to know what it feels like, without going too far. Should I forget it? Or should I get a little justice and show him how it feels? |
t3_30umau | relationships | I [20 F] Every guy I ever was talking to ditched for another girl. Result: I've never been kissed. | Ever since I was 16 this has been happening. I like a guy, we talk endlessly and then communication stops from his side and a few weeks/days later, he has a girlfriend. I was quite shy in my teens and therefore never really did the whole dating in school thing.
When I was 16 I developed a crush on one of my guy friends m/16 and we had both discussed that we liked each other. However at a party we both attended he got drunk and kissed my best friend (she did not know that I had feelings for him). We stopped talking after that.
Then when I was 18 I met a m/21 who I worked with and lived with. We began to go for drives just the two of us, were always together basically. After a period of a few months of us getting closer, many people started to comment on us. Asking if we were a couple, asking if we liked one another and due to the nature of the job the answer always had to be no. However, I did begin to like him, we had a conversation in which he said that the feelings were not mutual and he was in fact, emotionally invested elsewhere. It really hurt me but I understood. Of course it was a bit awkward that I had to continue to live with him but such is the nature of life!!
There was also a case this past year when I 19 was talking to a m/19 from university. We became very close and I wanted to have a conversation about us, but he was freshly out of a relationship and I did not want to push him into a new one. I was trying to be sensitive. After two months of daily texting in the summer (we live quite far apart outside of uni time) and weekly calls and FaceTimes we returned to uni and he got a new job. He promptly stopped talking to me and began dating his manager f/21.
Due to all of this, my shy teenage years and the fact I was a late bloomer I have never even been kissed. No one has ever asked me out. I feel like a freak to be honest. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. | Every guy I have ever liked has ditched me for another girl. I've never been kissed or asked out and don't know what I'm doing wrong. |
t3_2slsgr | relationships | My [18F] friend [23M] won't leave me alone. | I don't think there's any romantic undertones to our relationship, because I have a boyfriend and he knows it, so I don't know what the fuck he's trying to do. He calls me *everyday* and sends me text after text, especially if I don't reply. He tries to cajole me into hanging out with him, and honestly, between my two jobs and boyfriend, I'm spent.
If I tell him I can't meet him because I'm too tired and busy with work, he tells me that I should just "fuck work", because that's what he does. He still lives with his parents and is getting money money from them so I don't think he understands what it's like to have to work to not starve.
He call and texts even *during my work hours* and it's fucking driving me nuts. I told him yesterday to stop calling me and asking if we can hang out because I'm busy as fuck and he needs to respect that instead of trying to guilt me into meeting him, he apologised, but he's doing it again today.
He's also disparaged my work several times. I'm a phone sex operator by night and a retail associate by day, and I keep hearing from him that it's "below me" to work jobs like that. He said I don't respect myself because I'm working these jobs, and I got mad at him and blew up but I relented over the past few weeks and talked to him again.
What the fuck should I do? I'm reaching a breaking point and my boyfriend tells me I should just stop talking to him but part of me feels like I might be a bad friend.
I can still be friends with him but I need him to give me my space because I'm suffocating to death. I need him to stop trying to make me do things and stop disrespecting my work. | My friend keeps calling and texting me everyday and cajoling me to hang out with him even though I told him I really don't have the time. How do I stop him from doing that? |
t3_1gwbzp | relationships | I (17/F) Need to convey That I am not interested in being a one night stand to a (19/M) guy I actually like | A guy started talking to me over Facebook who I've heard about before and occasionally seen. He has a reputation of being a 'player' and hooking up with girls at parties and all that. I'm pretty much the opposite of him. But I humored him and we had quite a lengthy conversation and I was surprised to find that he wasn't as bad as I presumed him to be.
I understand that he is probably just hamming it up for my sake. I tried to make it clear to him that I don't buy is charming charade but he just turned to humor and sadly won me over.
After constant nagging and provoking on his part, I finally agreed to spend one day to get to know him in person. He insists that I'll like him.
I'm still not sure if this is a good idea, as I could be very easily manipulated. But he was being perfectly kind and polite, so I don't want to be rude.
How can I get the point across that I do not intend on being another notch on his bed post? A friend of mine who knows him tells me that refusing him will only make him try harder.
Does anyone have any tips on how to make him understand I don't want random sex? And, if it's even possible, how to maybe get him interested in me as a person rather than just another lay? | Pretty sure this boy just wants sex. How do I tell him nicely that I'm not just another girl he gets to bang? |
t3_1alx8h | relationships | I (20M) am not sure what to believe | Yesterday a friend told me my SO (20F) cheated on me 1 month into our 9 month relationship. Apparently a night after heavy drinking at my apartment, she hooked up with my friend B around 4 a.m while watching a movie. I was passed out upstairs at the time due to work the next day. When i confronted her about it she got extremely angry / defensive. She said they did in fact watch a movie, but she was on a separate couch than him with the spins unable to get up. She ended up coming to bed around 6 a.m after she felt better. Me being skeptical, asked if she wouldn't mind if i asked B about the night. She proceeded to flip out, saying i should trust her and she would break up with me if i brought it up with B.
Would i be in the wrong if i asked B? I know i should have complete trust in my SO but its really eating away at me. | A friend says my girlfriend cheated on me but she says otherwise. Should i trust my gut instinct or have more faith in her? |
t3_ng219 | legaladvice | Lost stolen credit card dispute what are my rights? | On October 18th I received a phone call from my credit card's fraud services department. I initially missed the call but when I got home from work that night I checked my online transactions and saw that there were several unauthorized charges made to Target, JC Penney, and Victoria's Secret that day. I immediately called CS and reported the issue. They asked if each transaction was valid and indicated the city and state of the charge. All charges were from the east coast and included a few different states but I live in CA. There is only one card on my account and it was in my pocket the whole time so it should be obvious these are not legitimate or authorized by me. My card was immediately cancelled and I was told an affidavit would be sent to me that I needed to sign and return.
Around the beginning of November I received the documentation the CS representative mentioned. After filling it out and returning it in the postage paid envelope I received a notice today saying that they never received it. It further stated that based on all available data they were able to determine that the charges were legitimate and the $1900+ charges were added back to my credit card and interest would be charged.
I've been looking online to find out what my rights are in this case but all I can find is information saying I'm not liable. The problem is I can't find anything online for after the dispute is lost. Do I have a right to appeal this decision or is it legally binding? I was given a number to call but they are closed on the weekends so I can't do anything until Monday. | Several people likely cloned one of my credit cards. I somehow lost the stolen credit card dispute and my credit card company says I'm now liable. What are my rights in this case? |
t3_3sze21 | relationships | I [22M] asked a girl [19F] I like out and I don't know where to go from here. | Some girl I see pretty often was showing strong signs of being into me (or so I thought) and since I liked her too, I asked her out. It was a little awkward since I have little experience asking girls out in person, but it came through and she said yes. So that night, we're messaging dates and times back and forth because she has school with work on the side and I work all week with music lessons on the side.
She comes up with Monday, saying that she might have 2 to 3 spare hours. I say cool- I just want to get to know her after all. I ask what time and she says **she'll let me know either tomorrow night (so tonight) or Monday**. I remember being told that you shouldn't let the girl have that kind of power when going out but I didn't really have a choice in this case and I didn't want to be pushy.
She hasn't messaged me yet, and I expect that she won't. Do I message her on Monday asking her what's up or just let it go? It's just that it might be awkward next time I see her in person... | Girl said that she'll let me know when she can go out, I expect that she won't. I see her pretty often in person. What do I do? |
t3_23peoj | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex-Girlfriend, [22 F] 3 year of relationship: after 2 year, still totally stuck. | Hi there.
Today, I'm doing something that I really want to do since a really long time, I need to talk a bit.
I was in a relationship (my 1st real love) for 3 years. Last year, we broke up, because we were arguing more & more.
2 year later, we see each-other sometimes. That's a bit recent.
And this is how it goes : we chat, we see ourselves at home, we end cuddling or sometimes kissing. But everytime it happens, the next day is like nothing happened : then no contacts for a long long time, and we restart. Again, and again.
I decided to stop sending the 1st text message. But she does send that message. And we talk a bit. But we run really fast out of discussion. And I'm always searching for a subject to talk to her. And everytime, I really feel like shit. Because she doesn't restart the conversation, I feel obliged to do it. I definitely shouldn't. I know. And it makes me really feel like I'm stupid.
I don't really know what to think of this. I mean, I think I'm still in love with her - I dated some other girls, but, somewhere, she wasn't that far from my mind.
I don't really know her position. I want to talk to her about this but I don't know how to proceed. I'm really stuck, and this is getting on my overall mood.
I feel sad, I feel down everytime I think of her.
I mean, I know that it's been 2 years. She didn't dated someone else, we both kept Facebook photos of us when we were in love in our folders.
I'm really lost, and I think this is the right time to ask some help, some advice.
(As you may have guessed, I'm not an English native speaker, so sorry for the language mistakes.) | 1st real love, 3 year relationship, still not getting over 2 year later, starting to make me really sad. |
t3_c5nyx | relationship_advice | So my fiancé's ex-wife contacted me... | My fiancé and I have been dating for just under a year. Last month, we decided we wanted to get married.
He had a serious drinking problem before we met. He's estranged from his siblings, largely because of his own mistakes. When he decided to get sober, he started over completely - new city, new life, etc.
Anyhow, on Sunday I got a call from his ex-wife. She hasn't had any contact with him since their divorce three years ago, but she heard through his family that we were getting married and felt the need to talk to me.
She told me that my fiance hit her regularly. They were both pretty messed up, she says, and she wasn't always an innocent victim. But my fiance is 6'2" and hefty, and she left him when the abuse consistently prevented her from working. She also told me that it was his violence and abuse that alienated him from his siblings.
She didn't expect me to believe her, and so she gave me the contact information for my fiance's brother, who is prepared to verify all of this. They both think I'd be making a mistake to marry him.
Which brings me to:
**A:** There's no way I'm going to call this guy. I really think that betraying my fiance like that would be a terrible, terrible idea. But should I confront him about it? I don't want to push him in a bad direction or start something nasty, and I definitely don't know how he'd react if I knew I talked to his ex.
**B:** Even if this is true, how much should I really be worried? He works so hard to avoid his past mistakes. We've agreed to forgive each other for the lives we had before we met (I wasn't exactly a saint in my teens and early twenties). I trust him. He still gets angry very easily, but I've never, ever seen him violent. But I can't stop thinking about it. | I'm about to marry a man who probably beat his last wife regularly, but he's now sober and sensible, and lives a completely different life. How worried shold I be? |
t3_1zhq6q | relationships | Should I (33/M) continue to sleep with my work colleague (33/F)? | I work in an international corporation and at times we have colleagues visiting from other countries - one of whom I've been have sex with whenever she's in town.
It's been happening for a year now and I'm starting to feel somewhat guilty. Let me be clear: we're both single, and neither is in a position of authority over each other work-wise. The guilt is rooted in that, while the sex is wonderful, I feel little else for her. And while I wouldn't say it to her, I think she does fancy me. For example, she's asked me to go on holidays with her.
In a way, there is an implicit agreement about our relationship because we do live so far from each other. I guess my question is how can I put that agreement on the table so that it will (a) not hurt her and (b) allow us to continue shagging guilty free. Or if you feel this is impossible, how do we stop having sex but leave our friendship and working relationship intact? | I want to continue to shag my work colleague for fun, not for love. Can I make this clear to her without spoiling chances of sex or making her hate me? |
t3_10odg0 | AskReddit | How comparable is losing a pet versus losing a human relative? | I've never been overly attached to any pet of mine and so I have never really grieved when one has died. I know and I totally understand that a lot of people feel that their animals are family.
The reason I'm bringing this up is because my uncle recently passed away (September 17). Three days later, my friend sent me a text saying how her family's dog had to be put down and she wanted me to comfort her because she's so sad. I didn't text her back. I was annoyed that she would even text me about that when I just lost my uncle. A couple days later, she told a mutual friend that she's "done with me". All because I didn't text her back. That is ridiculous, right? Or am I not being understanding? | My uncle passed away, few days later friend texts me about her family dog dying and she wants comfort from me. I didn't respond, she ends our friendship. |
t3_3i34es | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend [18F] of a year and a half broke up with me "for now" and I'm unsure how to proceed. | Recently we've both been under quite a bit of stress because of uni. I've been wanting to see her (she lives 100 miles away but we're at uni in the same city) but she kept saying she was busy sorting everything out for uni (she's going into first year, I'm starting my second) and it kept escalating into little arguments since she thought that I didn't understand how important uni is to her. Also I asked about seeing her on her on her birthday and she kept complaining that since her birthday is the first day of freshers' week, she'd be too busy making friends, getting pissed etc. and didn't want to miss out on that. Yesterday I asked about it again and she broke up with me, saying that even though she loves me and wants to be with me it seems like the only option right now because I'm "not giving her the space she needs for uni." She insists that once freshers' is over, we can try and sort everything out and maybe get back together. She keeps on saying she "has to do this" because she's given me chance after chance to stop mentioning it. I know I'm a dickhead, I just really wanted to see her.
I just want her back right now. I don't think I can handle going over a month with that uncertainty but I love her so much. I'm seeing her a week on Tuesday to discuss things in person (she did it via text while I'm on holiday) but I just don't know what to do. I know she loves me. Everything was fine until yesterday, after that last argument. | girlfriend broke up with me "for the moment" because "I'm not giving her the space she needs for uni." I want her back now. What do? |
t3_yq6r0 | AskReddit | Did my boyfriend completely derp when he said this, or am I just not understanding correctly? | Soo I was talking to my boyfriend about how my family wants a purebred English bulldog puppy, and he said that purebreds are more likely to get genetic disorders and diseases. I asked why (out of curiosity) and he said "Their genetics are only those of whatever dog it is, and since technically the parents are related, it's inbreeding too."
Now this seemed ridiculous to me, so I thought about it a little.... wouldn't that be like saying that if I had a kid with him (we don't come from the same family/bloodline) it would be "technically inbreeding" too, since we're the same species and we both are partially of German descent? Maybe I derped just as hard as he did, if he was even wrong.
I know that there are more humans than English bulldogs, so the likelihood of two related English bulldogs breeding is higher than that of two human beings breeding, but still. I don't see how it's a valid point that purebred dogs are more likely to develop genetic issues BECAUSE of "technical inbreeding."
Would someone be able to explain this to me? Is he right or wrong? I'm incredibly curious now. | Is a purebred dog more apt to develop genetic disorders because its parents are of the same breed, so they're "technically inbreeding"? |
t3_1my3dk | dating_advice | Do girls lie about having a boyfriend? Freaking out right now. | I met a girl a week ago (She initiated contact on the bus). We hit it off and things seemed great. (First time I've really ever talked in depth with ANYONE since middle school. I'm 20.) I planned to ask her out in the next few days from today which will be the second time we meet face to face.
In the time between we first met and now, I got her number, she started calling me a dork and when I asked, said it was a term of endearment, and was generally very nice. She even said that she hated being single, which signaled to me that the mission was a go. We share mutual interests and have been talking on skype/texting.
Today, (ETA 2-3 days from asking her out) I texted her and got a reply text saying that she was with her boyfriend. What do you think are the odds that she would be lying about getting a boyfriend? Did I wait too long? Did I do something wrong? I didn't overly text her, and if I didn't get a reply, I'd give her space before having another conversation with her. This is my first time ever getting this close with another human being; I'm not even this close to my family, so I don't know what to do. | Hit it off with a girl for a week and suddenly she changes from single to in a relationship 2 days before crunch time. Freaking out right now. |
t3_2m5idg | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend[25 M] 6 months, feeling confused - more info inside | So here's the deal. I love my long-distance boyfriend, but I'm not completely sure about being...forever. He wants to get married, and ask me sometime soon about that. I am...not 100% sure. I love him, but there's a problem.
I like a friend of mine (19M). The situation, however, gets much more complex. He has a girlfriend (18F), but he is in the same boat as I am. Liking me, in a relationship, about to make it one of those inescapable relationships where you can't get out without hurting the other person a lot.
I don't know what to do. I'm torn in a way between who I'm currently dating, and who I'd like to have some fun with and see where it can take us.
I haven't told anyone about it (which is why I made this throwaway account), and me and my friend are both *very* torn on the situation. We've decided to let it simmer for a week or two, and then decide what to do, but I'd still like your input, /r/relationships. Help? | Torn between boyfriend who I'm not 100% sure anymore about being in love with and friend who I'm starting to like more than a friend. What do? |
t3_42752y | relationships | My [21 F] boyfriend doesn't want me to go on Spring Break without him. Is it unreasonable for me [20 F] to be bothered by this? | So "Mark" and I have been dating for about two years now. We met through mutual friends, but we go to different colleges that are about 3 hours apart. He's my best friend and the best thing that's ever happened to me, and we have had relatively smooth sailing previous to this incident.
These past few months, I have started hanging out with a different group of people than I used to. I really enjoy spending time with them. Recently they asked me if I would like to go on spring break with them to a resort on the coast, and I was so excited to be included! I told them I'd get back to them.
I brought it up to Mark in a conversational way and he pretty much shut it down completely. He doesn't have the same spring break as me, so he wouldn't be able to come along, even though he was invited. He said he doesn't want me spending a week at the beach with a bunch of guys (the group is about 50/50 guys and girls) that he doesn't know (he hasn't met any of these people since he doesn't have a car, so I am the one who goes and visits him). I tried telling him that it wasn't just a bunch of guys, but he said it didn't matter and that they would all be trying to fuck me the whole week. That's definitely not true, either. Everyone is really respectful of the fact that I have a boyfriend and constantly asks about when he is going to come visit me.
I was really upset by his reaction because I really would love to go on this vacation. I have never been on spring break without my family, so I was really looking forward to getting to be an adult and have some fun.
It's weird too because over the summer he was totally cool with me going on a week long camping trip with my friends back home. Do I have grounds to call him hypocritical for that?
So, Reddit, do you have any advice for me? Would it be wrong of me to go on spring break? Am I being too one-sided on my view of things? Help! | My boyfriend can't go on spring break with me, but doesn't want me to go without him because there will be boys he doesn't know. |
t3_y7wsl | relationships | Insecure girl [20] in relationship. | Now, I'll preface this by saying I actually have a happy, functioning, lovely relationship. My boyfriend is only 2 months younger than me (making him 19) and we've been together only about 4 months but we've known each other for longer and we've been through a lot together. The only problem is that I get insecure about stuff. I used to have severe depression and anxiety and my boyfriend's seen me at my worst and stuck by me but that sadly doesn't help my insecurity and lack of self confidence and though boyfriend says he's not bothered in the slightest and doesn't notice it, I'm worried it will hurt the relationship.
The main thing I'm insecure about is a girl. My boyfriend used to be infatuated with a girl who didn't reciprocate his feelings for about 6 years or something, she was part of the reason we couldn't be together at first and I had a very upsetting few months because of that. He's over her. Apparently he hasn't liked her for a while now but I just feel so insecure about her. I feel like I'll never measure up to her or something or that when my boyfriend goes back home he might fall for her again.
The worst part is that I know I'm being paranoid, irrational etc but I just can't shake this one insecurity. It just won't go away no matter how hard I try. It's not present in day to day life or anything but I'm worried that I'll ruin the relationship if I can't let go of this. It's in the past and I should know that. | Insecure girl with no self confidence worried about a girl her bf used to like and if she's hurting her relationship in general. |
t3_11gwgj | relationship_advice | Getting over the ex (22/M) | Sorry for the long post :/
Story: I started dating this girl my junior year of high school. We met at work and it was an instant thing. She was really cute, totally my type and I eventually asked for her number. We started talking and found out we had a lot in common. After graduating, I had the opportunity to play hockey in Alaska, so we decided on giving the long distance relationship a try. It worked somewhat fine, although I was always super busy and she would get annoyed with the lack of attention. I got cut halfway through the year, came home and everything was fine. Halfway through the third year of dating we had our first break-up. We continued to be friends and we got back together in a week. However after this first break-up we had another 5 in the next year and a half - always with the understanding that we would get back together, but that we just needed a break.
Back in March, we had our last break-up. She said we would never get back together, but that she wanted to stay friends. She still considers me her best friend and it was pretty much a relationship but without the title. However since school started again, we barely talk. I'm still in love with her even though I know I shouldn't be. I'm going to tell her next time I'm home that I'm deleting her from my life - In person because I believe she at least deserves to know why and in person instead of through a text or e-mail. Anyone have any tips on how to get her out of my head? | Dated a girl for 4 and a half years, broke up but she still considers me her best friend. Still in love with her but I know I shouldn't be. Just looking for advice on how to get over her. |
t3_1kus0m | relationship_advice | Me [15F] am unhappy at my boyfriend's [18] recent weight gain. | I was just going to lie about the ages so that I could be taken more seriously but fuck it. I made a throwaway for a reason right?
He and I have been dating nearly 2 years and in the beginning he was rather thin. As time went on, he got more absorbed in work and school (he was on his third year of college by his senior year and is currently working 50 hr work weeks) and he gained what looks like about 30 lbs. Don't get me wrong we're very confident in our bodies around each other other but I know I'm less attracted to him physically now than before.
I fell in love with his mind but a good body is a plus. He knows I'll always love him but it has affected us. His self esteem went down, the sex became less than it was. Yes, we do have sex, yes we do use protection, yes I'm young, yes I'm immature. Please spare me the lecture. I don't want to sound cocky about it but honestly, I've had this talk many a time.
Moving on, I don't know if I should just drop the issue or bring it up with him. We communicate well and it's not like us to not bring something up if it bothers us. We have a very healthy relationship while still maintaining our own hobbies and interest. He isn't my only source of happiness. We have respect for ourselves and each other, we avoid speaking out of anger and we keep cool heads. I know this doesn't really have to do with the topic here but I feel like I have to justify being sexually active at 15. I know I'll get called a slut in the comment, don't feed the trolls. | bf has gained weight and it's become a slight issue. Do I bring it up despite his being self conscious or do I drop it? |
t3_39biht | relationships | [M 22] I think my gf [F 19] may be in a bisexual relationship while she's dating me. | A little background: before dating me, my girlfriend had a threesome with her best friend and her boyfriend. While that is a key detail it is a non-issue for me since it happened in the past. However, I did find out that, while we were dating, her and her friend hooked-up in a way.
My girlfriend got fingered by her friend while she was home on a school break. I found out when her friend told me about it when the three of us face timed together. Her friend must have thought it would be a turn-on for me, however my gf vehemently denied that it even took place. I found that to be especially concerning and decided to question her more. Once I pressed a little deeper she admitted to it but assured me that there is nothing going on that I should be concerned with "emotionally" between her and her friend; and that it only happened because they were drunk at a party in a room full of provoking girls.
I have since forgiven her. I assumed that it was a misinterpretation of my expectations and after the whole ordeal she seemed genuinely remorseful.
Recently though, my girlfriend went back home for the summer and we find ourselves separated again by distance. She's been spending a lot of time with her friend and I noticed a lot of the activities they do together mirror what we do together.
I am fairly confident that she may be bisexual but I can't really figure out what their relationship is. Was it genuinely playful? Or does she have some deep emotional/sexual bond with her that she is possibly unaware of.
How should I approach this situation? We just began a 3 month long separation for the summer and this question has been weighing on my mind. She has insisted to me multiple times that I can trust her but I'm just not sure. Would it be reasonable for me to ask her to spend lest time with her best friend or should I just reiterate and clarify my expectations? I really don't want to seem overbearing but I also don't want to share a S/O. | my girlfriend has exhibited bisexual tendencies in the past and I am concerned her relationship with her best friend may be a little more than she makes it out to be - or even - thinks it is. |
t3_402f3k | tifu | TIFU ruining my dad's truck | The recent rains reminded me of a story from when I younger and I drove past the site of where this incident happened last night but in reality this happened back in 1998 when El Nino was hitting California.
It was raining really hard as it had been pretty much the whole month. My dad had to get to work and was going to take me to the YMCA to drop me off there for the day until my mom could pick me up. He had this old classic Ford truck that looked almost exactly like this [THETRUCK](
So we were driving taking some side streets due to flooding and he realized he forgot his lunch. On the way back home we head down a pretty big hill towards our street and he saw at the bottom that the intersection was flooded. He didn't want to deal with that so I said I saw an alley we could cut through to get home. He decides to trust my decision and turns into it. This alley was pure dirt with an apartment building on one side and a fence for the backyard of the houses on the other. So he gets maybe a third of the way across this when his tires get stuck in the mud. We get out and he tries to shimmy some traction but its like quicksand out there with all the rain and runoff. Of course he gets pissed and starts calling himself an idiot for listening to me and we walk home to call a tow truck and so he could let his job know he he'd probably not make it in.
Well it turns out that the tow truck, in the process of trying to get his truck out of the mud, somehow causes his it to start to slide down the hill into the fence and into the persons back yard which was a giant hill leading the truck to crash into their porch. Ever since then that alley has been sectioned off with cement poles and a chain.
[Here is a pic of the site]( | Told dad to take a shortcut. He did. Truck Stuck. Truck fall down hill. Truck hit house. |
t3_nzfd1 | BreakUps | How do I make a second party want to break up with me if a relationship is awkward? | Hey there. I'm a 15 year old guy. I have been in a relationship with a 16 year old girl for 3 months now. Her best friend says she's really into me, but we barely ever speak to each other when alone together. It feels really awkward, and I can tell she feels that way too.
So, reddit. I need ways to make her like me less (if what her friend says is true) to make it so I can get out of an awkward relationship, whilst keeping my social status good so I can continue to have relationships in the future. | 15m going out with 16f for 3months. Awkward. Her friends say she likes me a lot. Need ways to have her like me less to end awkwardness. |
t3_5482aq | relationships | My girlfriend (18F) and I (19M) have gotten "stale" from being busy | So for context, I am a sophomore in a college 20 minutes away from my hometown, and my girlfriend is a high school senior there.
We've been dating for about a year and a half, and the first year of our relationship was incredible. However, it feels like for the past few months, we've both been very busy - we were together maybe twice a week during the summer (last summer we hung out nearly daily), and maybe once a week (if that) so far this school year. As a result, our hangouts are just being at each others' houses for a few hours, watching some netflix and playing catch-up on each others' lives. While that's all positive stuff, I feel like there's no substance to it. You can get the same exact stuff from a friend or a therapist, know what I mean? I'd like to do more stuff, or at least just be in the moment like we used to. What should I do - do I bring it up to her? I don't want to make it feel like "our relationship sucks right now" - I just want to have things go back to how they were. Is this something I can fix, or is it time to move on? | my girlfriend and I don't talk about or do anything "fun" any more, is that the relationship or something I can change? |
t3_3j5bmb | relationships | Am I (27m) a bad guy for wanting to leave her (28f) even though she's pregnant, it's not mine and she has no one else to turn to | I went away for a few months for work. Came back and she was about 3 months along. She admitted she'd slept with another man a couple of times while I was gone.
She moved from another country to be with me, we've been together for 3 years (2 were long distance) and she does have a job and though she makes an okay salary it is not enough to afford apartments/child care [the city we live in is extremely expensive].
She has no friends or family to turn to. What am I supposed to do? I love her and I do want to help her but I can't stomach the fact that she was with someone else and his kid is growing in her right now. I wanted to marry this woman.
What now? | gf got pregnant while I was away, she's got no one to turn to and can't afford apartments in our city |
t3_30hzr6 | jobs | Too late to negotiate salary? | So I interviewed for a position last week, and before the interview I saw online that the industry average for this position was $41,000. During the interview, they asked me my salary expectations, I said between $38,000 and $45,000 hoping it'd land somewhere in the middle. I received my offer today, and it was for $38,000. I can't help but wonder if I had just said $41,000 they probably would've offered it...
Anyways, so what I know is they are hiring 3 other people for this same position... I either got lucky and guessed exactly what salary they were planning on paying all of us to begin with, or we're all getting paid differently. As for the job, it is the ideal entry level position for me right now, and is a great company with benefits etc so I actually wouldn't mind working there for the 38k salary.
But it would be nice to get an even 40 at least, so my question is, is it common practice to negotiate salary after receiving an offer already? I also must say that I don't have any leverage as this is entry level and I would have probably still accepted had the offer been even as low as 30k. As such, I'm very afraid the offer may be retracted if I do try and negotiate, if that sort of thing happens? | Said 38k to 45k salary expectation during interview, was offered 38k. Have no leverage, and overall its a great entry level position and company. Should I negotiate? |
t3_2pbq5p | Advice | I am about to change my life. Is my plan solid? | For the past 3 and a half years, I have been a biochemistry major. I have had ups and downs with some classes, but right now, wrapping up my first semester of biochemistry, I am unmotivated to no end and have completely lost interest in the subject and my past plan of becoming a health professional.
Now I have turned to a career path that I was too scared to begin because my parents strictly discouraged anything aside from becoming a doctor. Well I have decided to grow some balls and do what I want with my life.
I want to be a software developer.
Here is my plan, I am about 2 classes away from completing my major requirements and becoming eligible for graduation with a B.A in Biochemistry. I want to completely abandon that and restart with a B.A. in Statistics. Math and Statistics is by far the subject that comes to me most naturally and I love solving puzzles.
All I want at this point is a degree so that when I am being interviewed, the HR won't toss me in the bin. I am extremely motivated to learn code every single day, I am certain this is where my passion lies.
If all goes as smoothly, I will still be able to graduate within 4 years.
My hope is that I will gain enough experience making programs and building my software portfolio that it will be enough to negate the fact that I do not have a degree in CS.
What do you guys think? I would really appreciate any feedback.
Also, as far as my parents are concerned, they still think I am on my way to becoming a doctor. Any suggestions as to how to approach this situation? | Quitting Biochem degree and healthcare field, switching over to Stats degree and programming field. Parents have no idea, they are likely disapprove of my plans extremely. Not sure how to handle the situation with them. |
t3_wf8h0 | AskReddit | What was the shittiest thing you woke up to after getting drunk? | Last week, I got drunk in my house and ate a whole box of those Fiber One fiber bars. The chocolate kind, because they are fucking delicious and you know what happens when you drink. On top of it, I had some terrible wine. I remember having STABBING lower abdomen pains and spending a few hours on the toilet. I clogged the toilet with my shit and too drunk to care just pulled my panties up and went to bed. Next morning, smell of putrid waste and shit stains in my underwear. There's also no window in my bathroom, only a vent and some air freshener. | Clogged toilet, left it there over night, no window in bathroom, stuck with shit smell and air freshener for a few days. |
t3_49nlje | relationships | My [18F] Boyfriend [19M] made a comment about my weight and I don't know how to respond. | I've struggled with being very insecure for as long as I can remember and eating disorders in the last few years. My boyfriend of 2 years is the only person I believe knows my insecurities well, but it took me probably until a year into our relationship before I was truly open even to him. He is generally very supportive, but today I asked him if he would bring some take out over because I was tired from work etc (I do this for him sometimes) and he said something about me gaining weight recently and how he is worried I'll get fat. This concerned me as it seemed very shallow compared to being concerned about my mental health (which I assumed was priority).
I couldn't really understand how he could say something like this. He basically confirmed my biggest insecurity, and on top of that I am still considered underweight.
He also seemed really annoyed when he said it, and said he's sick of having to look after me since I've been so depressed lately and that he wishes I at least 'pretended to be happy' sometimes.
It seems silly for me to be so upset about this but he just sounded so angry at me it's made me question our relationship a bit, and whether he still wants to be with me. It's also difficult because I really do try so hard to even get up and go to work and perform everyday tasks, I didn't think him getting us some dinner was a huge deal, and the comment about my weight really had the power to send me straight back into the level of insecurity I was at before I met him. Should I try to bring this up to him, or am I completely overreacting?
Since my mental health has been bad I am constantly questioning whether my feelings are warranted or just completely irrational so some perspective would be helpful. | Boyfriend said he was worried about me getting fat (after years of eating disorders, and I am underweight) and that he was sick of having to look after me. This really upset me but am I overreacting? |
t3_4r7zj1 | relationships | Me [22F] with the elderly couple I help out [80's M/F] the man always asks me to give him a hug and it is giving me creepy vibes. | I take care of an elderly couple Monday through Friday as a job. Nothing bathroom or hygiene related, mostly cleaning, cooking, and driving the woman around when we need to run an errand. I'll call them Bob and Norma. Like once a day, Bob asks me for a hug. Never when Norma is in the room. At first I thought it was innocent, they are old and lonely and everybody likes hugs sometimes. But his hugs leave me feeling creeped out every time. He is in a wheelchair, so I have to bend over to hug him, and I notice that everytime he gets awkwardly close to my armpit in some way. Either with his hand or he'll turn his head and give my arm a kiss, usually both, very close to my armpit. Today he got ballsy and super gently brushed his finger on my bare armpit on purpose and said, "tickle tickle!" To make it seem innocent but something tells me that's not the case. And regardless, I am not a child, I am an adult, and find it strange that someone who is not my boyfriend would find it acceptable to try and tickle me.
Aside from this he is very nice, doesn't make unwanted comments about my appearance or anything. Pays me extra sometimes if I work less hours than usual. But his hugs make me feel so gross and uncomfortable. I know everyone is going to tell me to just be straight forward, but I am such a push over by nature and have a hard time standing up for myself like that. It seems like such a minor thing to quit my decent paying job over. | Elderly man who I take care of always asks for hugs and then gets too close for comfort to my armpits. How to make him stop without being rude? |
t3_3p735l | relationships | [22 F] / Just had a regretful one night stand with a "friend" who is clearly lonely and extremely unable to read social cues. How do I tell him to leave me alone? | To be fair, I shouldn't have slept with him in the first place. He just moved to town (we knew each other from college) and I thought we were just going to be friends. As the night went on and I had a few drinks, things turned in a completely different direction.
I'm not repulsed by what happened. I am just shaken up about how much he has been texting me. Nothing creepy, just constant random stuff, every day. Random or banal questions, pictures of who I should be for Halloween, asking how I am over and over...
I feel like a bad guy. I've had to let him know in the past (before anything sexual happened) that he was texting me too much. But I did it in a very respectful way and he took it well. But I'll feel like a jackass if I have to do it again.
On the other hand, just ignoring him seems completely rude.
I'm open to continuing our friendship. I just need to know this won't happen again. And I need him either way to ease up on the texting.
Should I continue texting him bland answers? By the way, he does not get that short replies or late replies might mean I'm not very interested. | How do I let a new friend/one night hook up that he is texting me constantly without sounding like an asshole? |
t3_3q40wi | tifu | TIFU by ruining some poor girl's undeveloped films. | This fuck up occured 15 years ago in High School when I was in black and white photography class. We had a blackroom to develope our own films. To develope a roll of film, we'd take an empty canister from the countertop sinks with us into a pitch black room and insert the film into the canister to prepare it for developments.
My fuck up occured because I didn't pay enough attentions in class on the locations of empty canisters and putting canisters with the film inside ready for developement into a class assigned cabinet. I had to put the film into the canister, so stupid self went to get the "empty" canister from the cabinet, opened it up to discover a roll of film inside. My reaction? Who was this stupid person to misplace their canister? I told my teacher about this, she was baffled, then expressed horrors when she learned I got it from the cabinet. My heart stopped, I wanted to die really bad at that moment.
Then this girl was looking frantically for her canister. She was pissed and equally upset. I manned up to her that I was responsible for her horrific circumstances. Her face was nothing but anger and loss. I think I might have made her cried too. I was so distraught, the heart sank further than the Titanic could, and I wanted to die even more, I just wanted the world to end at that second, sacrificing humanity to save myself from sheer embarrassments. My whole body literally shook violently, I hated myself, I could not function that day, I was having an anxiety attack in the pitch dark room as I was loading the canister with the film. The darkness did not help me at all. | I got confused with class assigned cabinet film loaded canisters for empty canister, opened it up to ruin classmate's undeveloped roll of film. |
t3_3l2mb0 | tifu | TIFU by making Two Minute Noodles | So this fuckup happened about 15 minutes ago.
I got home late from work this evening and felt too tired to make a proper meal and too poor for takeout. So, I decided to compromise and whip up a bowl of every 20somethings most cherished foodstuff, 2 Minute Noodles. Now, I'm a big fan of noodles, and I tend to put a little bit more effort in than most; I like to at least throw in a handful of lentils and a sliced onion or something, some stock, bulk it out a little so it doesn't feel like I'm eating Battlestar Galactica rations or something. I finish making the noodles, deposit them from the saucepan into the bowl, and then notice I have too much broth. Uh oh. I put on a pair of oven mittens and carefully, oh so carefully, pour a little of the broth out, making sure not to spill any noodles in the process. Feeling rather proud of myself, I start walking from my kitchen to my pc so I can kill two birds with one stone and eat and browse reddit at the same time, still carrying the bowl of noodles in my mitten'd hands.
This is where the true fuckup happens. As I get halfway across my room, I trip over the pair of shoes I'd carelessly discarded when I got home, spilling hot water down my wrist and into the oven mitten on my left hand. My hand is at this point literally soaking in boiling hot water. Naturally, this is pretty fucking painful, and in my haste to pull the mitten off, I drop the bowl directly onto my bare feet. So now I'm sitting here with one lobster-red, blistering hand, two lobster-red, blistering feet, and one sad, grumbling, empty stomach. | Made a bowl of two minute noodles, ended up depositing said bowl over my hands and feet. Pain, hunger and ~~angst~~ anguish ensue. |
t3_lnova | AskReddit | If some random stranger asks you for Money to 'help them' do you? | Today I got approached by a random stranger at New York Penn Station, while I was waiting for my train to arrive (during night rush hour commute). He randomly walks up to me while I have my mp3 playing and begins to tell me how terrible people are in this world since he's been at Penn Station since 2pm and no one wants to help him out. Then he starts telling me how he went to prison for 6 years because someone raped his daughter and he killed the person. He begins to choke up and starts telling me about how his family is all torn apart now because of that and he's just trying to get home to XYZ place, which cost $16.50. He eyes look like they were about to tear up. And he goes about asking me for $3-4 dollars to help him home. I couldn't really walk away and would have felt a little weird if I did; especially after giving me that schpeel. So I pull out my wallet and gave him a $10 Bill, which was the first bill in my wallet. I didn't want to rummage through my wallet since i just took out $400 earlier during the day (they were all $20's though, I had a couple singles in there though). Thereafter he shakes my hand and says 'thank you very much papi' , and walks away. After a couple of minutes I decide to check how much it costs to get to that part of town by train, just out of curiosity. Only costs about $5 one way during rush hour. I feel like i got hustled because of my kindness. I wouldn't have minded so much if i gave him $1 or $2 dollars. But I really didn't want him seeing how much cash I had on. Any polite way next time to just say sorry and walk away? And if you are in a 'giving' mood how do you gauge your not getting hustled and really giving to a needy person? | This guy asked me for some money to help him on his travel $16.50. I gave him $10, and find out its only $5. Any nice/polite way to just say no next time? |
t3_190q0r | needadvice | I've lost/ am losing my ability to write. | So I have a little bit of an unusual problem. Here's the backstory: Used to write for this national music magazine a couple months ago. Get to write a story over this one musician who I've dreamed about writing about. Get interview, but this musician talks in such a complicated way that I spend hours upon hours trying to decipher what he says. I also spend hours trying to write out the story. Try my hardest to get the story done, but in the end the editor doesn't like it and gets somebody else to finish up the story.
Finally when the story hits the magazine the editor/ head of the magazine just makes the piece into a Q and A because she felt like the interview was perfect like that, and couldn't see it as being anything else.
Ok, woo! Now that we got that out of the way I'll tell you my problem. Ever since that whole thing I feel like I've only been writing at like a 60% level than what I used to be able to write at. And to be truthful I hate it. I miss feeling creative with my writing. I also feel like I'm having a harder time with the spelling of words, and what things are called in the english language. Like for a second earlier I had no idea how to spell !. Of course after I asked my english teacher mom, she told me it was an exclamation point.
So if anybody knows how to fix that than that would be amazing, Also, I'm a 24 year old male if that helps out at all.
Thanks! | Feeling like I can't write after trying to write huge story for a magazine. Now I'm trying to figure out what's wrong, and how to fix it. |
t3_1glrob | Advice | Tried to quit my job, very concerned now. | I tried to quit my job last weekend because I was getting fed up with the people and the same (preventable and infuriating) situations every week. It's become a very stressful job that shouldn't be stressful at all.
Usually when I quit a job because I have grown to dislike it, it's an overwhelming sense of relief; people tell me they never liked me anyways, or say a bunch of hurtful shit and we all move on.
This time, I got several phone calls saying "you're a strong employee, we need you, blah blah". I was shocked. A week ago, I was being talked to like every other replaceable person there.
Now I'm sad. I feel bad for making people go out of their way to call me, or offer me more hours, etc. I am going back Thursday, I feel like people are going to treat me differently; like I was trying to start problems or needed attention or some other gross over-simplification of the incident (because that's what they do). I'm dreading it, honestly. The two people that called aren't even going to be there when I come back, so I'm going to be with managers/staff that probably didn't give a shit in the first place. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Tried to quit my job, managers told me "no", going back this week and feeling incredibly awkward about the whole situation. |
t3_3iozm4 | Cooking | Sugar friendly replacement for juice? | So my girlfriend and I (and occasionally, me trying to motivate my girlfriend) are trying to eat a lot less sugar in our diets for health and fitness reasons. As far as food, we're pretty much fine; almost everything we eat is home cooked by one of us, and we're good at controlling our consumption of processed food (little to none).
Our kicker is *juice.* Juice is killing us, so much sugar is in juices and soft drinks. However, the issue isn't so much 'drink more water', we can both drink water all day, but the issue comes up with both of us agreeing that water isn't very..palatable with a lot of dishes. I can easily not drink a soft drink, but the thought of washing down a delicious steak I made with...water, isn't very satisfying. | Is there an alternative 'sweet' drink that we can buy, or even better, make, that isn't loaded with a shitton of garbage, sugar or calories? |
t3_1fxxdf | relationships | I (22f) have this thing where i hate doing/trying new things infront of people and my bf (21m) cant understand. | So im the kinda girl where i like to play a gane first on my own to get the hang of it before i try it with anyone else. I dont mind trying new foods unless it just smells or looks horrible. I just dont like being put on the spot...
Im currently on vacation with my bf (of 7 months) to meet his family for the first time. His family has a thing where they love scrabble and he doesnt understand that it would be highly uncomfortable for me to join all of them without knowing them all first. I consider is to be a form of performance anxiety. I just would rather sit and watch and join the conversation them be a participant. He wants me to play games with his brother (18m), but idk him. So i cant just do that. Ik its a lil dumb, but its just the way i am. Im willing to try new things on my time. One day i hope to skydive and i want to get married, im not a recluse. I just dont like attention in a moment where i feel awkward.
Ex: he was teaching me how to play yugioh. I was still trying to learn my card and understand the rules when he wanted to play with me. I kept telling him i wasnt ready but he insisted. So i agreed. Bad idea. I ended up in tears. He crushed me and i had nooooo idea what i was doing or even what combos to use or what my cards even did. Which is something that touches a nerve. I dont like being incompetent in front of people.
He cant seem to support me. He says im letting my fear control my life. Basically that im being dumb. I just want him to understand that its not a fear, its that id rather be bored and not participate then be uncomfortable and will most likely make a fool of myself. ... (when im nervous i get tongue tied and sound rediculous)..
How can i explain this to him to make him understand? Or do you think i should buck up and just do things anyways? | I feel uncomfortable doing things around people idk and or trying new things infront of people and my bf wont understand. =( |
t3_28roa9 | jobs | How can I tell the job interviewer I have braces and have to attend appointments? | I am being interviewed early this coming week for a role I really want working for a city council. The role is quite competitive as it is a graduate role, it is also paid by salary. However during this role, I will have braces on my teeth, thus will have to take 3 hours off work (2 hour drive + consultation) once every 4-6 weeks as the practice is only open during my work hours. I believe this is something I will need to say prior to being offered the role. I expect them to not hire me for this reason.. so I want to make it sound like not a huge deal.
Also, I don't have the option of changing orthodontist as I have already paid for my treatment + they gave us a discount price due to my siblings also having treatment. | Have braces on teeth, need time off for appointments everything 4-6 weeks. How do I tell the job interviewers this? |
t3_3a1hrn | relationships | I [19f] dated a guy [18m] for a week and he said "I love you" | I've known this boy for a little bit longer than we've been dating. (Actually, I met him once a few months ago. We made out while I was drunk and hung out for a couple of days after that but I gave him the cold shoulder for a few months before I went out with him again because I was embarrassed)
Anyway, after going on a couple more dates and kissing for the second time he said that he loves me. He's clearly not very experienced with relationships and I need to have a chat with him and I was wondering if I could get suggestions on what to say.
Also, I won't see him for two months and this is a probably a "no promises" kind of situation although I am interested in him/this whole situation wasn't a deal breaker, etc | Inexperienced boy thinks he loves me after very brief amount of dating and I would like to say something about it without totally destroying his confidence |
t3_2aypij | relationships | How do you solve a problem like Germany? Me [22F] with my SO [25 M] 2.5yr, 3 months of long distance ahead, need ideas to comfort us both and other advice welcomed! | Hi all! My SO of 2.5 years has gotten a great opportunity with his job: move to Germany for 3 months to learn/teach their sister company, then come back. They are paying for his housing and travel expenses. I have an idea of a neat little gift idea for him, but I'd like someone to bounce these ideas off of. We have been living together for about 2 years. Neither of us has ever been to Germany, nor do either of us speak the language, but his company says that it won't be a problem.
I'm having a really hard time with the idea of him leaving for 3 months, but I'm trying to be excited and supportive in front of him whenever it is brought up. Anyway, my gift idea is sneaking a bunch of sealed envelopes into his luggage with things like "Read when you're lonely", "Read when you miss me", "Read when you need a laugh", etc. and having little notes inside. What other "read whens" can you think of? Or, any other fun little gifts?
Anybody have any "When I went abroad/to Germany, I wish I had..."? thoughts they wouldn't mind sharing?
**Useful info**: We're going to name my SO Klaus (for German funsies). He will be leaving sometime in September. His birthday is in August (I am planning on getting him some travel/language books as part of his gift). The time zone difference between us will be 6 hours. He will be working from 1 am my time until 9:30 am my time. He will be going to bed around 4 pm my time. I work from about 9am-5pm (I am a researcher, so hours are subject to change). He has already said he wants to play WoW together on the weekends (yay!). The furthest we've been away from each other is 3 hours by car, when I am at my parent's home and he is in our apartment. | BF (Klaus) going to Germany for 3 months (we live in USA), need thoughtful gift ideas or other long distance/Germany advice. |
t3_26ymc5 | tifu | TIFU by smashing open a bus window and jumping out of a moving bus, then causing a pileup. | I was just finished work and me being the typical redditor staying up late fell asleep in the bus. This is the beginning of when IFU.
I was sleeping and suddenly the bus jolted hard. Somehow I immediately thought it was a crash and grabbed the emergency window breaking hammer or whatever you call it and smashed the window open and shards flying everywhere. Then I leaped out of the moving bus falling hard onto a main road. There was a car speeding towards me and it screeched to a halt and swerved. The car behind it forced it onto the other lane and hit another car. I end up alive but with a $250000 bill. | I break a bus window and jump out of a moving bus. car swerves and hits another car. 3 car pile up. $250000 bill. |
t3_x76pd | Dogtraining | Worried about my dad's anger problems when potty training my puppy | I just recently (about three weeks ago) got a 3 month old old jack russell/beagle puppy. He's the sweetest most well behaved dog I have ever met.
The only problem we're having is with potty training (which is to be expected.) I've been trying to use positive reinforcement (giving him a treat when he goes outside and not giving them to him inside) which is how I trained my Rat terrier but he doesn't seem to be taking to it.
I'm trying to be patient but my dad tends to get angry really easily and when the puppy goes inside he flips. He's determined shoving his nose in it and smacking him will work (apparently it worked with a different dog) but I know it won't.
I'm getting really worried he's going to end up seriously hurting the puppy after something that happened when we used to have a Pomeranian.
My dad was always used to having bigger dogs and hit her hard without thinking when she went to the bathroom in the house. He ended up breaking her back or something and she had to be put down the next day. He felt terrible but it doesn't excuse it and he's obviously not learning from the experience.
I completely adore him and really hate hearing him whimper when he gets hit. Not to mention every time he goes in the house I get blamed because I wasn't watching him for 5 seconds.
How do I talk to him about not hitting the puppy without him flipping on me or is there any way to train the puppy quickly to avoid the problem? | puppy is having trouble potty training. I'm getting blamed and my dad is hitting the dog to train him. help? |
t3_1p1h01 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my insane issues can't keep a women for more then 5 months | Alright so I have realised over the years that I can't keep a girlfriend for more then five months, granted I had one for 8 months but the last three months i saw her once when she dumped me. I have several issues apparently, I have trust issues, I have bipolar problems,I have no confidence, I am clingy, I'm obvlious to problems in relationships, and I am to bluntly honest. I am pretty sure I know where the trust issues come from, my life has been completely fucked up. I was beaten until the age of 2, I was raped from ages 4-7, my mom didn't care, my mother wasn't around, i was bullied throughout school. I mean there's more but that is some. How in the world can I fix these problems. I don't like being alone and the thought of dying alone terrifys me | in short, I have a metric crapton of issues, trust, confidence, clingly being a few. How can I fix them? |
t3_3duymk | legaladvice | KS Title sold by wife (not on title), Husband dead | I bought a vehicle out of a field a few months ago. The owner had passed away and the wife signed the title. Her name is not on the title. I live in KS and the title is a KS title.
The DMV wont accept the Title with her signature. I have talked to one person at the DMV and two people at the Department of Titles and Registration. Their responses were;
1. DMV person- Cant accept. The wife needs to request a new title under the husbands name, go into the DMV and register it under her name with proof of death. Then once she gets a new title sign it over to me. This process will take months and cost the wife money to register etc plus hassle of going to DMV
2. Titles and reg person #1; Have the wife sign a "Decedents Affidavit" and bring that in with the title and certificate of death and it will go directly into my name.
3. Titles and reg person #2; Same as DMV person listed above.
Is it possible to get the title without having the wife get it registered etc? The wife refuses to help saying "its not my problem anymore"
Obviously death certificates are not public domain but I do have the date of death, which is what the "Decendants Affidavit" asks for. I could fill out the "Decendants Affidavit" without the wife and hope they take it?
What about an abandoned vehicle claim?? | Title is signed by wife (not on title). Owner (husband) is dead. Wife refuses to help further. Need next steps. |
t3_nhons | AskReddit | Girl I'm interested in got date raped by a guy I went to high school with. But she doesn't know it. What do I do? | So, Girl I'm interested in was at a party, got really drunk, and she told me yesterday she made-out with this guy and one of her girlfriends. It happens, I joke that I wish I'd been there instead, blah blah blah.
I pick up food today on my way home from work, and the guy who she "made-out" with is working the window at this fast-food restaurant, and he recognizes me (haven't seen him in ~2 years), and he's bragging about how he slept with three girls in one night, and mentions this girl as one of them. He ends with: "And the best part is, they don't remember it at all. They thought nothing happened. They even kissed me on their way out in the morning."
I played along, said I was impressed, played the part of the asshole.
Now, either she REALLY remembers and just didn't tell me (possibility), or she got date raped.
So how should I approach this with her? | Girl I'm interested in was date raped and doesn't remember. I met the guy who did it and he confirmed it in our 5 minute conversation. I'm furious. Don't know how to handle it. |
t3_3ucelw | legaladvice | (AZ) Teenage brother charged with disorderly conduct after stepfather tried to kill him | Two days ago, my 17-year old brother was talking back to my mother and stepfather. My mother slapped him, and then my stepfather choked him and didn't stop trying to kill him until my 15-year old brother pulled him off of him. My brother then left the house to get medical attention and the police, but my stepfather called his cop friend before my brother could get help. This cop stopped my brother and wrote him up for disorderly conduct. The cop told my brother that choking is legal under corporal punishment laws.
My little brother has been officially charged with disorderly conduct. Clearly this is a fucked-up situation, and nobody except our mother feels safe around the stepfather. I am worried about my brother being convicted.
Two questions: what does my brother need to do to make sure the charges are dropped? is it true that what my stepfather did is legal under AZ law (he would have killed my brother had my younger brother not intervened).
Please help asap. I don't know what to do. My mother refuses to get a lawyer for my brother and is not allowing him to go to school until "the bruises heal". | 17-year old brother charged with disorderly conduct after stepfather tried to kill him. What are the next steps that he needs to take? |
t3_2fvkce | Advice | Moving away from STEM degree to follow ambiguous dreams? | Hey, first time asking on here. I'll keep it quick, I'm going into my junior year in physics at a small lib arts school, and the very first homework set of Electricity & Magnetism broke me. This by far isn't the first night I spent five hours making no progress with this material and having a panic attack. I know it shouldn't get easier, but I at least thought I was able to handle the difficulty curve. I take in as many resources as are available and spend a lot of time and effort on this stuff, but I just don't think I'm cut out for it. My brain doesn't go with this stuff. I've felt like this for a long while, and toughed it out for two years, but I really don't think this is the right path for me. Hell I chose this path when I was sixteen, as if I was the best decision maker then. Nothing about this is enjoyable, I don't intend to go to grad school, and I kind of doubt I'd ever use this undergrad degree, so I'm really thinking it isn't worth the stress.
I'm thinking of moving to psychology, which I've really enjoyed some classes of, maybe do a bunch of art. I've been trying to develop drawing skills and maybe animation, but I have very little time not spent poring over physics material. If all else fails, I have a fair amount of experience and education in beekeeping, I wouldn't have a hard time finding a career out west or something. I just don't like being the kind of person who bails out of a STEM degree like this. I was always the "smart kid" of my family, but I don't feel like that anymore. I'm almost ashamed to not take such prestigious studies, but I always idealized following dreams and talents rather than skill marketability. | I want to quit physics to do creative projects or switch to easier, more enjoyable, but less respectable major. Backup career in beekeeping. I just don't want to spend two more years so miserable. |
t3_yro1x | AskReddit | Stories about fucked up shit that kids/people have done? Possible karma happens? | My high school English teacher told me about how when he was very young, maybe about 5 years old, his cousin's family lived on a farm. One day when he was visiting his cousin's family, his cousin asked my teacher if he wanted to see something cool. The cousin took my teacher to the upper-level of a barn, and showed my teacher a nest of baby owls. Now, baby birds like to open their mouths due to instinct, so while my teacher was d'aww-ing at the baby owls, his cousin lit a firecracker and put it in one of the baby owl's mouth...my teacher was absolutely mortified that his cousin could do such a thing, and ended up not telling his family that this happened.
A few years later or something my teacher's cousin was driving a tractor along the edge of a river bank and the ground gave way from under one of this tires. He ended up falling into the river and the tractor fell on top of him, pinning him into the river thus causing him to drown. Needless to say my teacher wasn't very sad when he attended his cousin's funeral. | My HS English teacher's cousin blew up some baby owl's in front of my teacher when my teacher was 5; few years later cousin ends up drowning |
t3_2b3uzf | tifu | TIFU By Serving under cooked Chicken. | Today we had a garden party for friends and family, Alot of people turned up and we had a bouncy castle for the kids, tables and chairs out for the friends and family and had a big barbecue on the go.
I decided I was going to be chef and started to cook burgers, sausages and chicken on the barbecue, everything was going great, the kids were running around having fun, the family and friends were eating and drinking and I was getting slowly more drunk as the day went on.
A few hours after some people became a little ill and went inside, But the worst was still to come, later I heard crying from the bouncy castle, 2 of the kids had vomited in the bouncy castle, I rushed over to see now even more kids vomiting in thew bouncy castle and 1 kid had shat himself too,
So their I was faced with what can only be described as a house of horror, by this time all the kids and the Castle were covered in shit and vomit.
The kids were all a little traumatized and refused to come off the bouncy horror show, so I had to crawl onto it to rescue the now terrified kids.
Once all the kids were rescued, I came off myself, literally covered in child vomit and feces, All I could do now was run indoors and jump into the shower, once in thew shower I felt a rumble in my own stomach, and then proceeded to let out what seemed like gallons of liquid shit.
I ended up throwing away my clothes, having to pay for the bouncy castle clean up and spent the rest of the day cleaning out our shower. | I gave everyone food poisoning, got covered in child shit and vomit and then to top it off shat myself too. |
t3_1v8ne2 | pettyrevenge | Don't text while driving | Background. I don't have a drivers licence and the town I live in has shitty busses, so I cycle to work in the mornings.
On the Saturday before Christmas, I was cycling to work at around 8:20 am, with a bright yellow florescent coat on and bright LED lights. As I pull into a road which leads to a nice (and perfectly legal) shortcut, I notice that the oncoming Red Audi is fully on my side of the road and the driver is looking down at his phone. I know this because I could see the white glow on his face. So not wanting to cause a crash, I stop on the curb, with my bike that has paniers still in the road (because I didn't have time to pull it onto the pavement). As he drives past he scrapes the side of his car. He then slams his breaks on, reverses, winds down his window and starts mouthing off at me about how "all cyclists are careless and reckless" and blah de fucking blah and how I was going to pay for any damage. I let him finish his entitled rant before I not so politely told him that he was on the wrong side of the road and that I had seen him texting and that the text was still open on the phone in his lap. To which he replied bluntly "fuck off dick head" and sped off out of the junction, again texting, almost into a police car.
I walked my bike over to the police car and explained what had just happened and showed him the scratches on my bike and his car. Safe to say an on the spot £90 fine and 3 points on his licence fucking served him right. | a driver was testing and driving on the wrong side of the road, caused damage to his car blamed me for it, then nearly hit a police car while texting immediately after, points and fine for him. |
t3_2r46ke | tifu | TIFU by accidentally burning my school books | This happened about a month ago and I'm still wondering what the fuck I was thinking when I did this
So I was having a pretty bang average day, just walking home after school when I noticed my bag felt a bit damp. I noticed the back of my blazer was pretty damp too. So I opened up my bag to see what was going on. I saw that the yogurt pot had opened itself up and spilled strawberry yogurt all over my books. Not good.
So i ran home, went straight to the kitchen and wiped off all the yogurt with tissues. After I'd finished I noticed my books were all moist. This would not do.
This is when I thought i'd get rid of the dampness by evaporating it. So I started putting a few of the dampest books in the oven. I turn the oven on go watch some T.V expecting the oven to make my books nice and dry.
A couple of minutes later I hear the door bell and its my mum whos just come back from work. She asks how my days been and I tell her about my yogurt predicament. She laughs it off and asks how I fixed it. I proudly tell her of my ingenious solution.
A look of horror engulfs her face and she runs to the kitchen. i go with her wondering whats wrong. This is when I notice my Fuck Up. The books are on fire inside the oven. This is not good. Im not thinking right now and just open the oven door and grab my burning geography book and throw it out of the window. I continued to do this until all the books were out. After I'm finished I look at my mum to try and explain what happened she just gives me that 'What the fuck have I given birth to' look and walks away. | Spilled yogurt on my books and put the books in the oven to evaporate the yogurt. The books caught fire. Not a good day. |
t3_iteq0 | AskReddit | Steam compromised, How should I proceed? | Last year, I accidentally purchased the Rockstar pack on one of my throwaway steam accounts. I played the games a bit and then paid no attention to it. Fast forward to a month ago, I notice Valve charges me 4 times, each for 25 dollars. I immediately cancelled my card and filed a dispute with my cc company. I also contacted Steam support, and they've been surprisingly slow. I only today found out the email address attached to the account is still mine and that they have disabled the account temporarily. I login to it and see that some douche has been using my email account as his. He was stupid enough to leave my password intact, so I immediately changed the email password. I still have not reclaimed my steam account, but I really don't know where to proceed from here. How should I retell this story on the dispute form? I know that in the end, I will most likely be in control of the steam account again, I just don't want to be charged for games I did not purchase. Also, I have the guy name and info, should/can I do anything with it? | Had my account info compromised and several charges made. I am able to reclaim the account; however, I don't know what to tell my credit card company. Also have the name and info of the guy that did it. |
t3_23e4ca | relationships | Girl [18] is too scared to date me [18 M] | First of all, I have evidence that she's real/legit. I'm telling you that because you would say that it's catfishing after you know that I met her like a month ago on the internet. We've been messaging each other like daily and we get along with each other very well.
The only problem is that she doesn't want to date yet but rather would like to do so in 2-3 months when the summer holidays begin. I told her that I would really like to see her, like really much and that only messaging for a long time isn't the best thing. Though, the next day I told her that I accept what she said and that I'm fine with it as long as we can phone, so it's not all about messaging.
Also, the reason why she doesn't want to date yet is that she feels unsure or unsafe, I don't know. She says that she wants to see me but she also told me that she might've never met someone through the internet in real life right after.
So... What can I do? Is it normal that she wants to date in 2-3 months?
Like, she really seems to like me. She also said I should have my hair a bit shorter and not so unkempt and that I should shave my beard so it gets shorter and one could see my face way better. Like why would someone tell me that?
Anyway, thanks for reading. | Met a girl over the internet. She's real. She is scared of dating, feels unsure but wants to see me. She wants to date in 2-3 months. Is that normal? |
t3_1jihb1 | relationships | I'm [21M] unsure if it was a date or not... I hope it was. | I recently asked a friend of a friend [20/F], I've only met her twice before, if she wanted to get together, share a bottle of wine, and discuss things "pretentiously." (A joke)
She said yes, and that I should come over that night. I asked if we could do it the next day because I already had plans for that night.
She asked that I come over around 10pm, which I did. I brought a bottle of red wine and we sat on her porch talking and drinking it for a good hour and a half, till the bottle was empty. We then went inside, smoked a bowl, and laid there talking, while barely watching the Netflix that was on. She was tired after a bit and said that I could stay in the spare bed or on the couch if I wanted. I opted to head home (I had an important meeting in the morning)
I really enjoyed spending time with her and would like to do so again... but I'm not even sure if it was a date or not... and if it was, whether I can ask her to hangout again. I was thinking maybe dinner at this cool outdoor bar and grill along a lake I recently discovered. Opinions? | Got together with a friend of a friend, shared a bottle of wine, smoked a bowl, and talked. Was it a date? |
t3_1g19bs | offmychest | I've slept with 3 guys and i don't feel guilty... | I've been in a 7 year relationship with my SO. We've been having a lot of problems recently and it's causing us to grow apart from each other. Since I'm working two jobs, we haven't had the chance to see each other or have sex. he never makes the effort to come to my apartment either. (He lives with his roommates and goes to college)
Recently, I've been hanging with two friends of mine. they've been caring enough to hear my bitching, but they asked me separately if I would sleep with another guy. I would always say, "Of course not, i love my SO!" but that changed... I ended up thinking of other guys and wanted to explore my sexuality more. I finally gave in and slept with my two friends, but separately. The third guy is a long time friend and we always had feeling for each other. We ended up going out together drinking and we fucked at some random hotel too. to sum it up, i actually don't feel guilty. Is that a bad thing and I know my SO is seeing other girls... there's just too much and i don't know why we're still together. | I'm sleeping with three different guys, but I don't feel guilty. My So and I won't break up either. |
t3_2cgz6t | relationships | I [20F] am worried about my boyfriend [22 M] going home where old hook-up buddy is | My boyfriend is going home, about seven hours away from where both of us live (not together, been dating seven or eight months*) for a week.
That is where his old hookup buddy lives [??F].
Now he was hooking up with her just until he asked me out (*we had been fooling around for a few months before he asked me out), and he said he cut off all relations with her (tried to be just friends, didn;t work though because apparently she is crazy, FB messaging him all the time "I love you" "I hate you", etc. about us dating and all that)
He's also a really flirtatious person, but I don't care as long as he looks, doesn't touch, or break any sort of other relationship rules, because I look at other people too, it doesn't mean anything to me, so I really don't think it does to him either. We've had a threesome with another girl and both of us came out of it happy and not jealous
Another note, on our six month I told him I loved him, waited a few seconds to see if he would reciprocate, didn't so told him to forget I said anything. I'm not offended, just adds a bit to why I'm worried.
We have had, what I consider, a really happy, care-free, relationship. We go on picnics and dates, switch on and off who pays each time.
However, a majority of the time he takes phone calls, he leaves the room, or wherever I am, to answer them. When I try to get near him (tell him I'm leaving for work, or that he should think about getting ready for work) he walks away again.
Don't know if it's a polite type of deal, or whatever. | BF is going out of town to where old hookup buddy is (was hooking up with us both before he asked me out). |
t3_2gqnnw | personalfinance | Is My FICO Score Suspiciously High? | Hey everyone. I'm having some confusion about my FICO score. Long story short, a few months ago my friend turned me on to a website I won't mention that gives out free credit scores. Being a recent college graduate with no debt, etc, I was curious about what my credit score was as I had never checked. For years I have had an Amex tied to my fathers account but nothing more -- no car loans, student loans, whatever. When I got my report, much to my chagrin I was told that I had a thin file. Being 23 and apparently without credit, I panicked a bit and applied for 2 credit cards under my own name, a Discover card and an Amex.
Here's the weird part. Discover provides free FICO scores each month. Well, after a few months I decided to go on my account and look at where it's gone. 802. Yea, 802 as of the 7th. My jaw dropped. I figured that the free website I signed up for earlier was bs and that my score has been high all along. I showed it to another friend who is much more financially savvy than me and he was literally in a state of disbelief boarding on suspicion. He explained to me that such a high credit score usually requires one taking a mortgage out, etc and that his father (whom I consider to be a god of finance and has taught me a ton) struggled to get to 800. Again, I've never been in debt and I've always spent within my means. I've never really borrowed money.
What's going on here? I believe Discover uses TransUnion. Is it possible that there's a mistake? Did an identity thief steal my identity but end up paying off loans on time? lol
As a side note, my apologies if this is a repost, but I couldn't find anything similar to my case... and at the same time who would complain about this score?
Thanks. | 23 years old, transunion score of 802 never took out a loan, never been in debt. How is this possible? |
t3_pijt2 | AskReddit | Reddit, has there ever been a time you saw someone who was clearly going though something but you felt helpless? I'll start... | Today while getting gas I see a woman pull up in a jeep liberty. Her car was pretty banged up for being a newer vehicle and it was stacked inside with laundry and other items. When she first pulled up i saw she was talking on her cell and I thought nothing of it because everything looked normal. A few seconds later I look over and she is bawling in her car. I mean convulsion type bawling....It was a good hard cry. Her free hand is all over her face trying to hide her emotions i take it. Here I am pumping my gas and trying not to stare but all I could think about was what just happened and what could I do to make it better. I felt terrible for her even though I didn't know what her situation was. She ended up ending up leaving and not even getting gas. | woman pulls into gas the station talking on cell phone normal and a minute later she's hardcore bawling. I felt useless as tits on a bull. |
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