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t3_holyf | AskReddit | Reddit, what am I supposed to do with these pants? | I bought 2 pairs of levi 505 jeans at the store 1 week ago. I tried them on and while I was putting back the ones I didn't want, I mustve picked up the wrong pants. When I brought them home, I immediately ripped off the tags and hung them up. 2 days later I was invited to the movies. I went to go put on the pants and I noticed that they fit regularly around the waist but they got REALLY fat around the calf and ankle area. On the inside it says straight fit but they really fit like boot cuts. I can't return because the tags have been ripped off. How can I fix this? These pants are kind of on the expensive side. | I brought the wrong pair of pants home & I ripped the tag off. They're straight leg but they fit like boot cut. How do I fix this?? |
t3_k40zq | dating_advice | Got a female teammate's number, now what? | **For future reference, I'm male, 15, a sophomore in high school, she's 14 and a freshman. We go to different schools.**
So I met this girl through the Cross Country team at my school. She's really nice, and kinda cute. We've talked several times, and we have a lot in common.
I ran into her today while I was with a group of friends and we chatted for a little bit. She asked me if I wanted to go run with her sometime this weekend, and she gave me her number. I told her I'd call her tomorrow.
I'm kind of interested in her, and I think she's at least a little bit interested in me (she talks to me often during practice, and on a long bus ride, she asked me if she could sleep on me and she leaned on me and slept while I dozed off for a while.)
I'm not sure if I SHOULD make a move on her, considering she's my teammate, and I don't know if she's interested or single. Even if I decided I should, I'm a bit of an introvert, I don't really know how to make a move or show interest. She also talks to some pretty attractive guys, and she went to see a movie with a guy today, although he didn't seem like her boyfriend. | Met a girl through my XC team, not sure if she's interested in me or if I should make a move. She wants me to go running with her tomorrow. |
t3_4bzowv | legaladvice | (Alaska) After multiple times of my roommate telling me to move out, my roommate will not let me find a replacement after I have moved out and all my possessions are not in the apartment anymore. | Because of personal differences, my roommate decided that she no longer wanted me to live with her even though we are both on the same rental agreement and the agreement is not over for another 7 months. I agreed to move out and she told me she would "take care" of the next months rent, what ever that is supposed to mean I didn't know.
She gave me deadlines to get out of the apartment (that I followed) but refuses to sign a document allowing me to terminate my portion of the lease. So technically, my name is still on the lease and it is just as much my apartment as it is hers, so I took it to liberty to show people my room to try to get someone to move in for me, as the land lord said I could do, as I have brought to his attention of the problems my roommate had been causing.
Today, while I was showing someone the apartment, my old roommate (who still lives there) came home and stormed into my room and started yelling at me, stating that I had no right to show the apartment to anyone and that I had to get out, scaring the potential new resident of the apartment.
She has demanded that I give her my house key multiple times before this and has threatened to take me to court if I don't continue to pay rent after she has kicked me out, made personal threats, and attacked my relationships of family and friends. She has never once contacted our land lord of any issues and is doing all of this without the land lords knowledge.
Is there any legal action that I can take? I have recently moved in with a boyfriend until I can find a place of my own and am helping pay my boyfriends rent for the time being. I do not want to pay for Aprils rent at 2 different leases that are both due by the 5th of April.
Thank you and I appreciate any help. | Roommate has taken liberty to kick me out with out consulting land lord and is threatening to take me to court. |
t3_q98w8 | dating_advice | Leaving the friend-zone: Proving my love (20 m/f) | I could write for hours about this girl, but I'll try to keep the details to a minimum. Let me know if you need/want more.
Background info: we're both 20. Born and raised in the same small town, best friends as long as I can remember. Ended up at the same college, inseparable. Huge history together. Fell in love with her a year ago.
Long story short: We've always had a different type of relationship. It's always been so much more than a friendship, but we never knew what to call it. We've acted like a couple for 3 years now, but it was just... not really friendship but not really dating. Nothing physical at this point. I recently realized that I couldn't just be friends with her and
told her that I've loved her all along. She ended up telling me the same, but we haven't begun to date yet.
The issue: She has a boyfriend (around 1 year) and is scared of dating me because she knows that we're so perfect together that we'd spend the rest of our lives together. At the same time, she knows she isn't going to marry the guy she is with now.
Most recently, she told me that I need to show her that I'm the one she's meant to be with. I'm not sure what I should do! I've done everything I can to show her that I love her. All I need is one big sign for her.
What the hell do I do? | Fell in love with best friend, feeling is mutual. Need to prove that it's meant to be and she will be mine. |
t3_2t0rj5 | relationships | Me [30 F] with my husband [35 M], addicted to strange porn, won't have sex, need advice | I have been posting about my problem for a while on other subs but the advice had become destructive. I'm hoping since this is a bigger sub I will get more varied responses and be able to draw insight from those.
Basically my marriage has gone downhill in the last 2 years and I had found furry porn on my husband's phone. He would still give me oral sex but refused to allow me to reciprocate or have actual sex. He just ran through to the bathroom and jerked it to furry porn.
He made an excuse about thinking he had a wart but on further investigation there was none. He had one in 1999 and not since then. Way before I met him. It was a flimsy excuse at best.
We had major fights and I banned him from masturbating and using porn. But he ignored the bans. I followed him into the bathroom every time he went for a while but couldn't keep it up as he just woke up in the early morning to jerk it.
Eventually I threw his Note 4 into the toilet in anger. He just switched to a Lenovo tablet.
What is alarming is that I found not only furry porn but now gay furry porn in his history recently. I confronted him about it and he admitted he had a fantasy about being raped by a wolf.
I don't want to end the marriage as he is a good man and great provider and father. But I'm feeling so frustrated I just don't know what to do. Please help me. | Husband addicted to furry porn. Haven't had much sex for 2 years. 2 children. Don't want to leave but becoming frustrated. Help. |
t3_q6w8g | BreakUps | Unable to get over him | He ended it on the 14th, i.e little over two weeks ago.. I feel I tried everything I could to get him back but he refused.. I then ignored him for a couple of days trying to move on.
One week after he broke up with me, I contacted him again. We started fighting and I felt anger but deep inside I knew I still loved him and just wanted to get back to him. Then, for 5 days I didn't talk to him at all. I know 5 days is nothing, but considering I was used to talking to him almost daily for three years, 5 days felt like weeks for me. I thought I was doing okay. I still thought about him every single day but tried to hate him or just not think about him.
I went to the gym, Uni, out with friends.. But nothing seems to be able to distract me. Last night after the gym I was at my friends place. She put some music on which made my heart race and just made me feel really sad as it was a song I used to listen to with my ex a lot.
I came home late, went to sleep around midnight. I wake up at 3 am with a racing heart from a dream about him. Then go to sleep again, and wake up couple of hours later once again from a dream about him.
I wanted to call him right then and there but couldn't bring myself to do it because at this point the tears were just flowing. Basically I spent rest of the day crying and just wanting to contact him. I switched the computer on to distract myself (haven't done so since the break up) and I get signed into MSN.. and guess who is online? I then couldn't resist messaging him but he hasn't responded..
I'm just completely shattered. I try to get over him but each day I get reminded that I lost something irreplaceable. I don't care much for life anymore and just feel unable to move on.
I realize I sound fucking pathetic but he really meant the world to me, and still does. Losing him is the hardest thing I have had to experience.. | Been a little less than two weeks since my ex ended things after three years together. Unable to distract myself because I get reminded of him constantly, he definitely was the one. What do I do? |
t3_35pzmp | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyf [25 M] of 8 months, having problems making time for sex | So, it's kind of a pickle. We both live with our parents. We live ~1hr away from each other. Most of our dates occur after weekdays, in an area closer to his home, near where I work. We've had few opportunities to get intimate, and most of them have ended poorly. First time, a few months in, he went pudding as soon as the condom went on. Second time, I bought us a hotel room for Valentine's Day, and he got too drunk to perform.
We finally were able to do the do when my parents went out of town, which was p good, but still, it's only ONCE in eight freakin' months.
There was another opportunity when he was housesitting, but I was reluctant to drive 1.5 hour+ away, and I was too busy to stay there the whole weekend.
I don't know if this suddenly made him think I'm not into sex or what, but I am going crazy. I feel like I've made it clear that I want to be intimate together, but I don't know what he's thinking. I can feel myself drifting and not really feeling connected any more. All of our communication is through text, and it just doesn't feel like enough. It feels artificial; I know he's making an effort and is very sweet, texting all the time, asking about my day, etc. But I would like to see some action, and I feel like I shouldn't be the one buying the hotel room all (one) of the time(s).
Oh, and the reason we don't bone at each others' houses is because parents are both conservative minded and don't allow sleepovers. | How the fuck do I have a conversation with my boyfriend asking where the dick is at? or how I need to learn to have adult conversations regarding my lack of sex life for 8 months. |
t3_2vez8r | relationships | Me [27/m] met a new friend [22,F] we agreed to hang out later in the week but I don't want to come off as liking her. I need to let her know something important but not sure how to go about it. Advice? | Please see the following [thread] for the context. I will not do a review in this thread.
To make this easier to read my [22,F] friend is Sarah. Our mutual meetup friend is Dan.
Dan invited me and Sarah to go to the gym this past weekend. I picked Sarah up and we met Dan there. Dan told us he'd like to meet up at the gym again later this week and for me and Sarah to let him know when we go. I agreed with Sarah that we would go back to the gym on Friday and she said she'd swing by my place and pick me up. I told her I'd let Dan know the date/time so he could meet us there. She said that was fine.
I texted Dan Sunday and he agreed to meet us there later this week. Sarah buttdailed me on Sunday and I made a joke/she replied
but I haven't replied to her in text since then. She doesn't know that Dan now knows our Friday plans and will be there to meet us.
According to the last thread people were saying DO NOT pursue Sarah and now I'm afriad I gave her the idea that I liked her. So, I intentionally have not been texting her just to show her I'm not clingy/needy/interested.
How should I go about letting her know Dan agreed to meet us? I'm somewhat embarassed that now she may have an idea I liked her, but I must not have scared her off as she agreed to pick me up on Friday.
There are two things I want to know:
1) When should I text her to let her know that Dan is meeting us?
2) When should I text her asking when she is stopping by my place to pick me up (on Friday)?
Advice? | Don't want to give my friend the idea I like her. So, been avoiding texting her important information. Need help going about it. |
t3_4kiil6 | relationships | Bf got angry and disrepectful, not sure what to do | So this just happened last night. My (23f) boyfriend (26m) have been together almost 1 year. We used to fight alot because of my insecurities but not anymore. Everything's been really great for the most part. We have so much fun together and can just be our silly selves. We love each other. However, sometimes he gets really angry. I think he has slight anger issues and can be very negative about life sometimes. Don't get me wrong I can be that way too but I'm a bit more positive
Last night he got annoyed at me because he says I was being moody. What I remember is i got mad because we were doing something together and he left to go on his phone. When I expressed that I was upset, he called me a cunt and told me to stfu. Kinda seemed like he just got really angry out of nowhere. This behavior doesnt happen very often but i felt very disrespected and hurt by what he said. I stooped down to his level and asked him why he was being a dick and told him to stfu.
I tried to ask him what it was exactly that I did to cause him to go off like that but he literally would not talk to me no matter how hard i tried to get a word out of him. He just ignored me and played games on his phone. I thought this was extremely disrespectful but didn't leave his house because I was supposed to sleep over. I kept trying to get his attention so he literally got up and sat in his closet. After that I left him alone and kept myself busy on my phone and then fell asleep.
Cut to morning after, he's still sleeping and I'm not sure what to do this morning. I want to completely ignore him and hurt him like he hurt me, but another part of me wants to amend things. Help! | bf got "annoyed" with me and called me names and told me to stfu when I tried talking about it |
t3_1nmwes | relationship_advice | [18/M] "Spend the night if you'd like" | For the past six months I've been in a hellish relationship, and it recently came to a wonderful end. And about a month before mine ended, my good friend "sarah" [17/F] her boyfriend had broken up with her, and she is now rather happy to not have to date "someone so childish".
Now me and "sarah" have been friends for 4 years now and dated once (1 month) when we first met, we were both 13-14 when we did, so it wasn't anything serious.
Now in the present, we are both single and hang out everyday, no touching, no flirting, just as friends and we both enjoy each other's presence, and almost daily talk about how badly we need to have sex.
And tonight, she mentioned about her parents being out of town this weekend.
And she invited me and another good friend of ours over [18/F] "maggie" (who've I've known for 6 years and is a lesbian in a relationship) to "sarah's" house on saturday and drink some wine and get in the hot tub. Which sounds like alot of fun and rather look forward to it, but after that "sarah" also said "saturday should be fun, but I'm nervous about sunday"
Me: "what happens on sunday?"
"sarah": "I have to sleep alone in my own house, you could spend the night both nights if you'd like"
Me: "I just might"
Looking from inside out its rather hard to determine if theirs a hidden meaning behind her offer.
So what does it look like from someone that isn't involved in the situation. | good friend invited me to sleep over, not sure if good friend has feelings for me, does good friend sound like she is trying to "make a move" |
t3_26l5h5 | relationships | I [21/M] am in a 2.5 year relationship with [20/F] and I feel like we aren't compatible anymore | I've been dating this girl for about 2.5 years now and usually it's been really good. But for around a year now, we've been disagreeing more and fighting more often. I don't understand how this happens, we went from being inseparable and in love, to not caring and distant. We do have our good days, everything will feel like it used to, but those days are becoming rarer and rarer. I don't want to say it out loud, but I think the relationship is coming to an end. But I don't want it to. Right now, I think both of us are holding onto our memories of how we used to be together, and the hope that we can somehow reach that point again. It's weird because we have grown together, and been through so much, but I feel as we've grown together, we have grown apart.
We are both in a confusing time in our life right now. She has no idea what she wants to do with her life, which is fine with me. I want to pursue my athletic dreams and reach the olympics. My plans require me to move cities, but she is not willing to come with me.
We have put so much into this relationship I don't want to see it sink. Any ideas to rejuvenate this relationship? I hate this feeling of distance and "weirdness" between someone who means the world to me. | I think we have grown apart from one another and the relationship is nearing its end, but we're holding on to our memories, not the present. I want to fix this, but I have no idea how to. |
t3_2rdhs7 | relationship_advice | [29/M] asking me [22/F] if i still chat with me ex - WHY? | I met this guy a little over a week ago and we really hit it off. We saw each other/went on dates FIVE times after the initial meeting and made out once (would have turned into something more but I don't want to rush anything). We text daily and have a great time together -- always have lots to talk about. He knows I was in a 4.5 relationship which ended not too long ago. Tonight, he randomly texted me and asked if I still talk to my ex. Does this necessarily mean anything significant? Kind of caught me off guard. | New guy I am sort of seeing/hanging out with wants to know if I still talk to my recent ex. |
t3_4pvl00 | personalfinance | Where to put my money | Hi guys!
A little background to start:
I am 18 heading off to college next year and I am lucky enough to have it all paid for.
I don't currently have a car, and don't plan on buying one for at least my freshmen year.
I have a Roth IRA starting this year and was able to max it out with about five grand.
So currently:
I have nine grand from selling my car. It is in stocks but not in the IRA.
I am working this summer and plan to make roughly four thousand dollars by September.
So that brings me to my question:
I received quite a bit of graduation money and don't know where to put it. My father thinks I should keep it out of my IRA because I may want it sooner (his example was to buy a house). I think I should max out my Roth IRA again this year to take advantage of the long period of compound interest with no taxes and because I will (hopefully) not have any major expenses for the next year or so in which time I will make another five thousand or so.
Im a newbie so I hope this is in the right spot and if you need any more info ask me.
Thanks in advance for all your help. | I am came into some money and will have little to no expenses this year as well as some money saved in the bank but I am not sure if I want to commit to putting it in my Roth IRA or simply invest it. |
t3_3cfyd4 | relationships | How do I (20F) gain enough self-control to stay away from my ex boyfriend? | About a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of five and a half years. We'd been living together for two years and have a baby together.
There are a multitude of reasons as to why I left him, but most of it boiled down to him being a pathological liar and putting no effort into the relationship or himself. I would rather not go into all the gruesome details, but there is absolutely no chance at us having a healthy relationship.
Here's the problem: It is SO hard knowing that he lives only ten minutes away and I can invite him over anytime I want. When I'm lying alone in bed at night and having trouble sleeping, all I want to do is call him and tell him to come over. I have no self control about this and have actually had him sleep over for a couple nights since we broke up. I know I need to stay away from him and move on, but how? Especially since we still have to be in communication because of our baby. | I was with my boyfriend for five years, left him last week, and now I'm having trouble staying away from him. |
t3_jle9c | relationship_advice | Believe me or don't it happened its freaking me out. | I suffer from split personality disorder. Yes i'm dead serious. The "alter ego" appears when I am in places that I feel as if I don't fit in. It takes over me and I remember nothing the only time i feel like I remember anything is if anyone tells me anything after or I have intense dreams where I feel like I am the third person. I am worried that my "alter ego" may be responsible for some unfaithfulness I don't really know the extent of the damage. I told my girlfriend I think I may have it...which was a lie...because i'll be honest dating one guy is enough can you imagine dating two and not knowing who you are going to get...I want to know what to say about this particular subject...if anyone can truly help and not just shove bullshit about how i'm a lying douche bag or an insane psychopath and need to be checked into a mental institution it would be appreciated. | I have a split personality disorder and I think my "alter ego" may have participated in some unfaithful acts. |
t3_3ha2tr | offmychest | Brother and I got drunk, he asked my opinion of his relationship, and I ended up getting tackled into the ground/choked. | My brother is in a volatile relationship which is only obvious to the people around them. They have been caught in lies, saying nasty things to one another, and driving drunk. I confronted him with his last relationship and it tore us apart for a year. That one ended and he said I was right all along. I told him I never want to give an opinion on his relationships with fear of tearing us apart again.
Fast forward to a couple of nights ago while we were drinking, he asks me the question, "do you like [gf]?" I told him I would answer with a fact/observation of something that I was involved with and heavily disapproved. She drove my siblings, my gf, and I home drunk when she was tasked to DD. she was underage at the time. I said "she failed at keeping her responsibility."
My brother snapped, tackled me to the ground, choked me and just kept yelling "fuck you!" This basically went in a circle for 20 minutes. I never raised my fists to to defend myself. He's an emotional timebomb waiting to go off at any minute, any day, sober or drunk.
He has since apologized (even though it was over texts) but I can't help but feel he's going through something. I made a mistake by answering. I just hope he figures himself out before he makes any real mistakes. | brother asks if I like his gf. I said I didn't like one of their decisions. He attacked me. He apologized. |
t3_13w0g8 | dating_advice | Me (17).. picking between Jill (17) or Taryn (16) | Jill: 2nd grade crush. Moved away from her. Met again recently.
- Shy, doesn't think highly of herself. Sweetest girl. I've never even kissed this girl, yet I'm crazy for her? I have been since I was young. We like each other but there's no real substance at this point. So it's not a 100% relationship chance, but it could probably work out.
Taryn: Dated for 2 years. Crushed on me for 5 years.
- Lack of trust in relationship. She wants to move in with me. Blahblahblah thinks we're going to have a real future. Believes in herself, probably a little too confident. I feel like I only get pulled back to her right now because I know we could be dating anytime I want, and we're already close to begin with.
I'm off to college soon. I feel like both of these girls could be long term. I want to make the right choice. I like both of them a lot. | Taryn: Dated forever. Chemistry. Didn't always get along. I lost interest. Could date on command. |
t3_3lbsj4 | relationships | Me [25F] with my roommate [24F] worried about her financially once I move out. Help! | My roommate and I have lived together for 2 years total and have been really close friends for 6+ years. Our living situation has been decent for the most part but I am ready to move in with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I have discussed this with her frequently since June (4 months ago) and have given her plenty of warning of my intention to leave before our lease is up. Giving her plenty of time to find a new roommate, etc.
My boyfriend and I found a great place and are set to move in at the end of the year (3 months away). My roommate was quite upset about this and insisted that I would pay the rent for the month after I was to move out, saying that she couldn't pay it on her own. I had mentioned previously that if I moved out suddenly I would pay my portion of the rent for a month or two. She is holding this against me. I think I have given her plenty of notice for her to figure things out.
The real issue is who is taking my place on the lease, her boyfriend. He's a great guy, but doesn't have a job. My roommate had asked him to find employment but I have seen no effort on his part to make this happen. Meanwhile my roommate has been paying for a lot of his meals, drinks out etc. He practically lives with us already and makes no monetary contribution at all. I am worried that if this same pattern continues my roommate will be broke in no time. She won't be able to pay rent, and I have a feeling will end up blaming me for moving out.
I am trying to find the nicest way possible of asking her to ensure her boyfriend gets a job or find someone else to live with her. I don't think it is fair at for me to have to stress about her wanting to pay for rent when I'm not even living there anymore. Any advice of what I should do? | Moving out, roommate's boyfriend with no job moving in. Afraid of being asked for rent after I move. Help! |
t3_4cbqkf | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Fiance[26F] 9 years,She left | After 9 years of being together and engaged for a year went to visit her parents for a week. This was the 3rd week of January. She didn't return for 6 weeks and wouldn't talk about it.
She came for the weekend got some cloths said she was confused and that she was breaking up with me but was not moving out.
We continued talking and I continued to do some self reflection. I determined that due to the stresses of work/ money/ life etc. I was so overwhelmed that I had been absent and stonewalling her for the last 5 months.
This weekend she came and got the rest of her cloths and a few things that were just hers. She told me after a long conversation that she understands things will be different if she gives us another go. She just does not know if she wants to.
So she asked if I wanted the engagement ring back. I said the second you decide that you do not want to marry me give it back. I asked her how it made her feel. She said happy at times remembering back to how happy we were when I proposed. And sad/ angry at other times with how unhappy she was when she left.
She made a comment that she had been gone for over 2 months and did not miss me. Also she still has one of my credit cards and I still have her on insurance which I am paying. And she is living at her Mom's house 3 hours away.
Since she left on Friday. She has contacted me to let me know she made it home safely. She text me twice on Saturday to see how my day was going. Then I text her to say Happy Easter yesterday, and did not get a response at all since then. I am trying to leave it to her to initiate contact. | Fiance left me. She still wears the ring and said she still loves me. I'm still paying car insurance and gas. She doesn't know what she wants. |
t3_4ul0ia | relationships | [Update] My [21M] GF [20 F] of 6 months suddenly wants me to give up watching anime. | Just thought I'd give a quick update on [my thread from 2 weeks ago.](
I talked to her and asked her why she wants me to quit watching anime because she's known I watch it from day 1 of our relationship. As it turns out her parents were very disapproving of anime (her dad is basically a real life version of the asian dad meme) and they were bad mouthing me when they she told them about me and my hobbies. So it turns out that she herself didn't have any problems with me watching anime she just wanted to live up to her parents expectations.
I told her that while I understand where she's coming from she also has to understand that anime is a long time hobby of mine, that it will never get in the way of our relationship, I still get all my responsibilities done and that I will take whatever flak her parents give me when and if I end up meeting them.
I also brought up the possibility of us watching it together. So at the recommendation of another subreddit we started watching Nana together. I'm not really expecting her to suddenly fall in love with anime because of this but it is a nice way to spend time with two things I really love. | Gf didn't really hate anime just trying to meet the expectations of her strict parents. Told her it won't effect our relationship and not to worry about it. Now watching Nana together. |
t3_29vl4s | dating_advice | Don't know how to proceed | Alright, so I (19F) have been friends with this guy (22M) for a little less than a year. During school, we'd see each other nearly every day. School ended, he graduated, but we still talk fairly frequently...and I'm kind of lost in mixed signals and don't know how to move forward (as the title of my post suggests.)
Beginning of summer, he'd send me a link to something he thought I'd find interesting and we'd FB chat about it. Sometimes I would reciprocate and send him a link. At one point, there was a week when we FB chatted or texted everyday. After that, we didn't talk at all for about two weeks until I messaged him yesterday about an event he had mentioned to me a few months ago. He gave me the details and today I went and saw him in person for the first time since May.
I got there late and he was leaving to go to a family thing, but he delayed his departure by half an hour and showed me his favorite part of the festival. I reminded him that when he was telling me about the event originally he said if I actually showed he'd get me a specialty food item at the event, so he got me that and got us both something to drink and we sat down and talked for a bit, just about what was new in our lives. There were some silences but it was overall a comfortable conversation. Then he left as he had to go to his family thing.
And now...I don't know what to do. At one point I said that I really liked talking to him, and he said he really liked talking to me. I don't want to be too forward and message/text him all the time, and at the same time I don't want to get stuck in the rut of just sending each other interesting articles every once in a while and chatting about those. I don't know how he feels about me and anyways, I wouldn't want to ask someone out over FB/text and I just really don't know where I go from here. | We talk a lot and enjoy each other's company via FB/text but haven't hung out in person in a while before today and I don't know how to move forward or what I should do. |
t3_255ivq | relationships | My [22M] girlfriend [19F] of 4 months has terrible self-esteem, and I don't know how to help. | We met on OKC in December and first met in early January. We immediately had a really strong connection (to the point where even though our first meeting was supposed to be at noon on a Saturday, we couldn't wait that long and I drove 2 hours to her at 5 AM that morning).
We quickly realized we have a chance at something really serious and really long-term, so we agreed that our best course of action was to take things slowly and casually, not rushing anything (because she still has 2 years of school, and I'm working a lot to save money, etc.).
The thing is, she has always had a very negative opinion about herself. She is literally the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and I still sometimes can't believe she's mine, but she just doesn't see that about herself. I really, really want to express to her how amazing she is, but I really don't want to do anything that can be construed as "too fast" or "too serious" (I've got a relationship track record of, ahem, moving a little fast). I never want to make those mistakes again.
Can any women out there offer some insight into how I can make her feel good about herself? I know that I may not be able to do much to significantly turn her self-esteem around, but I just really want to make sure she knows how I see her without making things too serious.
Thanks! | My girlfriend has a very negative opinion of herself - how can I let her know how stunning she really is without taking things "too fast"? |
t3_2q0klx | relationships | I [29 M] need to decide whether or not to boot an employee | Hey Guys,
I have some career advice I was hoping you could help me with. My company is currently having a major downsize. The boss needs to fire everyone but three of us, the department heads. Thing is, I need a second employee to help me with the workload.
I just got into this position six months ago and my previous boss hired someone that works under me. He's good at the job, but his attitude absolutely sucks. He's arrogant, lies, and is in general really fake and a pain in the ass. On top of that, he has told other employees I'm incompetent (not true) and constantly tries to show me up/take credit for work that isn't his.
We'll be working at home three days out of the week, so I won't have to deal with him on a personal level nearly as much, but on Monday I have to talk to the boss about whether or not to keep him on. It might be a bad move to go through the process of hiring a new employee and training them at a time when we don't have any extra time or money to spend. If the person doesn't work out, it could be detrimental to the life of the company. At the same time I feel like I'm selling myself short not getting rid of him when I can. | Should I take the risk of hiring someone new, or put up with this guy that can do the work but has a terrible attitude? |
t3_3mmgob | relationships | Me [22 M] with my SO/Friend [19 F] 8 Months, how can I come to terms with the fact we can't be together due to distance? | Hey, so I graduated from university this summer however prior to that, February time or so I started having feelings for a girl who at the time was a good friend of mine, whilst the feelings were mutual it was always on her mind that I would be graduating that summer so wouldn't be able to see each other very often after that, due to me living 5 hours away from her home and uni, so after a lot of talking and staying at each others we stayed friends with benefits whom were committed to each other (but not in a relationship haha), but even the 'benefits' side wasn't such a key part to start with we just enjoyed each others company.
Fast forward to the last few weeks of term we know the dreadful summer is coming and I won't be retuning to uni after that... we decided to kind of keep it going. She visited me twice and I visited her once over summer, all of these were the best days of my summer, feelings progressed, I'd always just be looking forward to the next time I'd see her but again we knew deep down it couldn't last.
Fast forward to this weekend, I visited her at uni, we decided a few weeks ago this should probably be the end of it otherwise it will just be horrible for the two of us only seeing in each other 1 weekend a month max (I work full time now), I've had such a depressing day driving back struggling to come to terms with the fact the best relationship I've had has just had to end due distance, and I don't know what to do about it, to be honest I want to continue it but I know it's a silly idea.
Man I don't really know what I expect to get out of posting this, it's just good to get it out and hopefully someone who has been in a similar situation can share some insight :)
So I guess my question is, how do you manage to get over a relationship when the only thing stopping it is the distance between the couple? Thanks a lot for reading :) | After 7-8 months of a committed 'friends with benefits' it's had to come to an end due to me now living 5 hours away and I don't know how to deal with it |
t3_dqnsb | AskReddit | Feminists who only read books by women, only watch TV shows with female leads... self censorship? | I was talking to a older (roughly 50) female friend last night about the book Peace is Every Step by Tich Naht Hahn. As soon as I mentioned the book, she brought up a different book by a woman - a female Buddhist, along the same lines, and started telling me why it was a better book. I asked her what her basis was for her critique on Hahn's book because they weren't very accurate, and she really couldn't answer my questions specifically... leading me to believe she hadn't really read it.
I've noticed that she only watches TV shows with strong female leads (the closer, saving grace, hung). She mocks football, action movies, cinema created by Men. She claimed No County for Old Men was "a terrible movie" because it "was such a guy movie".
I believe that she only reads books by women, watches TV shows that glorify and star Women, and generally ignores anything involving men. I'm not sure how far this bias extends but it may be universal - she censors herself to every piece of art created by men.
My question: This is bothering me. Should I:
(1) ignore it because it's none of my damn business
(2) point it out gently so she can realize her bias
(3) something else | Woman ignores and discredits anything created by men; boasts works by women as superior. What a waste. What should I do (if anything)? |
t3_30l10l | offmychest | Growing up is crazy. | [no regrets] not sure how the tag thing works.
It's odd sometimes when you go to events or to parties and suddenly all of your friends, new and old, are celebrating getting engaged or having their third kid together. I am very happy for them and it puts a smile on my face and I honestly mean that. And here I am. Establishing myself and a career. But yet, I am single. Got out of a horrendously toxic relationship that left me pretty roughed up. With no one my age who I know who is in the same boat as me. I do want a family and I do want a loving partner. But it seems like they are already taken or I've missed my chance and it frightens me. I have no problem being alone for long periods of time. But I don't want to be that guy at age 40 and just say, "well oh well, I missed my chance". I suppose I am just venting and don't mind if this gets down voted. I hope there are others' who feel as I do out there who I eventually meet. I am 25 years old but everyone around me makes me feel far older. | I am feeling like I am the only person in my town left who is neither married or have kids and it's kind of depressing. |
t3_2fve61 | AskDocs | Period came 9 days early...or was it a period? | Hello. I'm a 21 year old female. 5'1", 105 pounds. Last Tuesday, my period came about 9 days early. I usually have a 26 day cycle. I went 17 days. This is how my cycle went:
**Tuesday**: Spotting/Brown spotting
**Wednesday**: Spotting, which got heavier to the point that I bled through my liner onto my underwear and dress. The blood was brown that turned red. Blood was thinner than usual, more clots.
**Thursday**: More heavy bleeding and painful cramps. Blood was thinner than usual, more clots.
**Friday**: Bleeding started heavy but slowed during the day.
**Saturday**: Just brown when I wiped and a some on my liner.
**Sunday**: One spot of brown in my liner.
I took a pregnancy test on that Wednesday. It was negative. I will take one again tomorrow morning. And I'll probably take another on Friday when I was supposed to get my period in the first place. I'm just confused because it says to take after a missed period. How do I know that was a period and I am not missing one on Friday? Or that wasn't a period and I am missing one this weekend?
I only had sex once between cycle and it was protected with a condom. I'm not really having pregnancy symptoms. Maybe nausea, but I get that a lot when I'm stressed haha.
What are reasons a period could have came early? I read up on implantation bleeding, but this seemed too heavy to be implantation bleeding and too early. | Had a 17 day cycle instead of a 26 day cycle. When do I take a pregnancy test? What are reasons for an early cycle like this? |
t3_1ae735 | relationships | On the fence about my (22m) relationship with my bulimic girlfriend (21) | We've been seeing each other for about a year and a half. From what I can gather, her bitchy mother helped contribute to her poor self-image. I care about her deeply, and I don't want to see her hurt herself over us breaking up. I've tried to convince her to seek help about her bulimia, but she dismisses it with the "it's not a big" deal retort. I want to pursue other women, but I also don't want to leave her. She seems to fancy me quite a bit, and I feel like breaking up with her will lead to her into a spiral of depression and further purging. Should I stick with her to try to help her improve herself? | I'm considering breaking up with my bulimic gf, but I don't want her to hurt herself. Should I try to help her? |
t3_1wxdts | relationship_advice | I'm [22/m] not sure if i should end my relationship with my [21/F] girlfriend | Hi guys,
I would love some advice or view about my situation, could you help me ?
We've been together for almost one year and it's the first serious relationship for both of us. She's an awesome girl but I see a lot of minor flaws that upset me (a lot).
For example: the way she talk sometimes or react, she's a bit dirty (not clean), the way she eats (the sounds), her opinions/views about some matter/life etc...
Even writing down those flaws make me feel stupid, because i think that in a couple you should make efforts to overcome this, it should be insignificant. How can I have a wife if i'm that picky ?!
But i did try to overcome this almost as long as the relationship and now i'm tired to try.
So am I just a stupid picky guy or maybe I don't love her enough to overcome those?
When you truly love someone do you easily overcome the flaws or what ?
**thank you for reading and anything is welcome. | Relationship of one year. Girlfriend's flaws make me crazy. Maybe i'm not in love enough to overcome those. Don't know what to think about LTR in general. Need opinion. |
t3_20489k | relationships | Me [23 M] with my gf [22 F] 4 years, Peace Corps ending relationship before finishing application | So my girlfriend and I met 4 years ago at college through a mutual friend. Our first year we were long distance in the same state, visiting each other on breaks and almost every other weekend. Then she came back to school and we practically lived together in on-campus apartments. Last year we moved in together off campus and it was an amazing year and a half. This school year I had to move back home due to family financial issues, we made it work just like before visiting on breaks and most weekends.
She, only recently (past 3 months), became interested in the peace corps and just finished her application and medical. Here is the kicker, we had talked about what we would do when it came time for her to leave and then out of the blue she just decides to end our relationship because she couldn't see us staying together while she was away.
What really bothers me is that after spending so much time together in a happy and healthy relationship that she wouldn't want to stay together until she was 'deployed'. This happened the Monday after valentines day, I had bought her an expensive gift and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She had me leave immediately after she let me know her decision. It hurt ALOT..
I didn't see it coming, and thought we could have talked it out more to come to an agreement, but it has just been a painful and confusing experience for me. She hasn't talked to me much since and I'm confused as to her motives for ending an amazing relationship just at the prospect of joining the peace corps. She says she still loves me and I will always love her, I'm just confused what would make her do this.
Her family had even gone through the trouble of buying me a plane ticket for their vacation to mexico this month. | Gf of 4 happy years broke up with me before applying for the peace corps (6-9 month wait before leaving for assigned country)and a month before a planned vacation to mexico. |
t3_15ixby | relationship_advice | I [20/m] broke up with my [19/f] girlfriend and want to know what to do. | By no means was it a nasty break-up. I feel bad because she has so much stuff going on in her life right now with her family and I broke up with her yesterday. I love her and she said she loves me too but for the past month, we've tried to take the relationship into a more laid-back mood instead of a serious relationship as per her request. We talked about it and worked it out at the time, but lately I've just been feeling so emotionally tired. Basically she doesn't know what she wants and felt that she got into a relationship too quickly and I agree to a degree so after talking to her about it, she said she is not ready yet, but that she still loved me and wants to still be able to see me. So I broke things off for her since it was apparent she wasn't going to. I just told her that my feelings for her will only end up hurting me and the relationship and that we both need some time apart. She asked me whether we can "still be friends?" and I said "not right now, but maybe in the future." I love this girl to death and honestly want her back, but given the current situation what do I do? I have made up my mind to do NC for some time to heal and perhaps come to terms with everything, but at what point do I break NC? Should I just wait for her to break NC first? I don't know... I feel like I've come to terms with it, but thinking about how I may never be able to hold her and kiss again just makes me sad. | broke up with girlfriend in an open manner, and I want her back eventually, doing NC, what do I do now |
t3_2b13lh | relationships | I [23F] am developing feelings for my coworker[24M]. Should I tell my boyfriend[22M] of 3 years this or should I keep it to myself? | I am developing a crush on a coworker of mine. This person doesn't know that I might be developing feelings. However, I know he has a crush on me. While I would normally just cut off all contact, I see him at work everyday and I don't want to make life at work miserable especially since I am a new employee and don't really know anyone yet.
My boyfriend is generally pretty loving. There has been strain in our relationship because of his family. Other than this, he broke up with me in the past and I literally had to beg for him to take me back. He even admitted to me later that he only got back together with me because he felt sorry for me. I love him so much, but our relationship is hard work and I don't know how invested he really is. I'm constantly afraid he will decide to end things again. He also has lied to me in the past about where he is and who he is with. He has many close female friends while I don't have any close male friends. We have so much in common and we get along for the most part, but I haven't gotten over that at one point in our relationship, he did not want me anymore.
Because I want to stay with my boyfriend, I do not want to pursue anything with my coworker. However, I don't want to completely blow him off because we do have to see each other and he's been a pretty cool friend so far. How should I go about handling this. Is this an issue I should discuss with my boyfriend? How should I approach handling staying friends with my crush but not leading him on? Any advice would be so helpful right now.. | developing a crush on coworker. Bf doesn't know, want to tell him, but don't want to cause unnecessary problems. What do |
t3_liacw | BreakUps | Bipolar boyfriend broke up with me, too many mixed emotions. | I'm 23 and my now ex is 26 years old. Emotionally though, he acts like a 5 year old.
I've been on a very tiring roller coaster this past year. My ex is bipolar and it was a very emotionally draining relationship. 2 days ago he broke up with me, for a very dumb reason. Every time we would fight or he'd "break up" it would be for the most ludicrous reasons.
This time around I feel like I should stop it here and not contact him anymore. He's turned me into another person. I've become insecure, I'm afraid to speak my mind and I don't like going out anymore.
When I started dating him, I knew he had bipolar. He told me he had it under control and he was getting therapy for it. After awhile he stopped going to therapy and changed. It was about 4 months into our relationship and he started telling me he was gonna go out for the night and sleep with women. He'd then turn off his phone and not call me till the next day. He would always try to provoke insecurities and make me feel bad.
Anyway, even with all the mental abuse and all the mean things he did, I still loved him. I would do anything for that kid because he's just the most amazing person I've ever met. I have such a hard time dealing with this break up, even though I know it's for the best. I'm hurt and sad because I feel like I've lost the first person I ever truly loved. I've been through break ups before, but they've never hurt this bad. I'm really lost. | Emotionally abusive bf broke up with me, confused between feeling happy or sad that it happened. Need advice. |
t3_3wo3kr | relationships | I'm [25/M] worried about my SO [23/M] being overwhelmed by my boisterous family [2 years together] | My family is generally quite loud, especially when we're all together. My father and mother [60s] are both retired military, along with my father's two closest friends (I consider them my uncles), and I have two brothers - my twin Elijah, and my older brother George [28]. George has a five year old, Jack, who is a wonderful little boy but is obviously the center of attention at family gatherings, especially Christmas, and can get very excited. Individually we're generally pretty calm and collected, but get us all together and we can get very loud. I'm not above wrestling my brothers, father or uncles for supremacy. It's how we show affection.
My SO, Harry, on the other hand, came from an emotionally distant family that rarely talks and lives in the four corners of the earth. He's quiet and shy, and I'm worried about him feeling overwhelmed or out of place among a bunch of super loud military guys. He's met my parents and Elijah individually and they got along great, but hasn't had to deal with the whole clan all at once. I've told him some stories about our crazier antics, but I don't want him to be completely overwhelmed by all of us. He's already worrying that no one is going to like the gifts he got... | My boyfriend is very shy, my family is very loud. How can I help make sure he doesn't get completely overwhelmed by all of us? |
t3_3wmfhb | Advice | How to let someone know I don't want something for Christmas. (clarification and story in comments) | This might be long, I'll summarize at the bottom. I live with my aunt. She has a tendency to get me birthday and christmas presents that she thinks are cool, but also thinks I would like. The problem is we have very different tastes, and she doesn't really know what I like.
Here's my dilemma. She used my computer while I was gone to order presents.Later I got on and opened chrome. The message stating "chrome didn't close correctly" popped up so I restored the tabs, without really thinking. There I saw an Ebay cart page. There were two things, a life sized wall decoration of Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead and a life sized Joker wall decoration. She knows I am a huge Batman, and Walking Dead fan, so I know these are for me.
She has a bunch of crap on her walls. I don't like much on my walls. She knows this. This is an example of her buying things she likes, but also thinks I would like. I know this sounds ungrateful, but I really don't mean it too. They're 100$ each, and I don't want her spending that much on me at all, let alone on things I do not want. I don't think she bought them yet, since they were sitting in her cart, so I deleted them from her cart to hopefully buy me some time. What do I do. Or am I just an ungrateful douche for asking? | I know my aunt is thinking of getting me expensive wall decorations for Christmas, that I do not want on my walls. How do I let her know without letting her I know I sneaked a peak at her Ebay cart. |
t3_2g2nby | dating_advice | [29/f] Not sure how to go forward with [27/m] | So I have gone on two dates with a new guy I have been talking to. We had a great time both times and he seemed really into me. Compliments and saying he wanted to see me more often. The second date he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. I then asked him if he wanted me to and he said yes, he told me he had even bought me a toothbrush. It was very unexpected for me but I accepted and stayed the night. Anyways, the weekend is coming up and I haven't heard from him since Monday but that was only because I had texted him. I am not sure if I should text him again on Thursday and see if he wants to go out again this weekend or just not do anything and wait for him to ask me out. I am still new to the dating scene and I have no clue how to go about things. | Went on 2 dates with guy who seemed to be very into me, haven't heard from him in a week. Should I text him for a 3rd date or wait for him to ask? |
t3_x0wfm | relationships | "I love you." "...I can't say it back if I don't know anymore." - should I get divorced? | Trying to keep this short, maybe you guys can offer a bit more insight.
I've been married for just over a year and a half now with a woman that was perfect for me. I married my best friend and it couldn't have been any better. (I'm 26 and she's 21.)
Fast forward a bit, the plan was to get married and move to Portland.
It's not going as well as I would hope. She's got an on setting depression that's she's taking out on me.
"You haven't changed. I have. It's all me, and this isn't working. We're not on track anymore and I feel like we're in a rut. I need to go home."
In between current debts, being a responsible fucking adult, and the best job I've ever had in my life (Insurance, salary, amazing hours, and awesome pay for what I do.) - I'm not quite ready to make the move.
**A bit of important back-story about myself: I was -never- financially stable, and I've been running from debit and financial ruin for YEARS. This is the first time I've ever seen the light at the end of the tunnel because of how well paid I am, but there's a split in the tracks that worries me.**
We agreed on 2 years. That expires in August. I've got three weeks left of our agreed time, at which we were to sit down and have "the big talk" of whether she waits longer, or she goes to Portland - with or without me.
Her patience has ran out, and I'm torn.
It seems like she's pushing me away so she'll feel better about running away from all of this - but now I have to decide between throwing away everything except my marriage (including possible financial freedom) to **save** my marriage.
I don't know what to do Reddit. It feels like I'm out of options. | She's falling out of love, mostly because of homesickness, and it seems the only solution to saving the marriage is to continue living in debt and financial ruin. Is it worth the trouble? |
t3_4g1yrr | relationships | I'm [23M] scared my girlfriend [22F] of 6 months doesn't find me sexually attractive anymore. | Let me preface this by saying that I love my girlfriend. We've been together almost a year but only officially dating for about 6 months now. While we don't share many of the same interests, I try and go out of my way to show an interest in what she likes to do and lately she's been making an attempt at my interests as well.
Our relationship started off very strong sexually and although we both have busy schedules, we would have sex 3 or 4 times a week. Now, we barely have sex ever. The last time we had sex was about a month ago. She's always thoroughly enjoyed our sex (or at least that's what she told me) so I'm very confused as to the change. In her previous relationship, which was her first serious boyfriend, she told me they had sex about once or twice a day. So I'm very confused and a little hurt as to why she doesn't feel the urge to be intimate with me.
Now, usually I was the one to initiate sex. I didn't mind as it was not every time but lately (past two months) it was me everytime. And usually each attempt was met with an excuse as to why she wasn't in the mood (tired, work, just not feeling it, etc.). On top of that at the start of the relationship I had to tweak what I usually prefer during sex so it was more like her previous boyfriend. This included not really kissing during sex or kissing on the neck, and a more gentle approach than what I was used to. And at the time I didn't care because I was falling for her. But now, all of these things combined are hurting me a little. I don't know if she doesn't find me attractive enough ( her ex was very good looking) or if she just doesn't want sex altogether but at the very least this entire situation has been eating me up inside. I've tried talking to her about it but she usually deflects it to her being very busy with work or her family.
Has anyone ever dealt with this before or could give some advice into how to deal with it? | Me and my girlfriend haven't had sex in a month and I'm scared she doesn't find my sexually attractive anymore. |
t3_1y46er | relationships | I [20M] and girlfriend [20F] of 2 years just broke up, wondering if i can save it? | Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary and we broke up today. She was my first everything. First kiss, girlfriend and lost my virginity together with her.
We often had fights during these 2 years about the same problem, she would be busy with school and friends while i would complain about being forgotten.
She's an independant person and i'm somewhat of a person that likes a clingy girlfriend. Last week i got mad at her being busy and honestly i take full blame, that's just ridiculous of me to be even mad at. This was probably the 4th time & 2nd breakup.
Everytime we had these fights, i told her i would change and be more independant. It never happened, she told me she is getting tired of fighting the same issue over and over, even though she still loves me. She said she knows that ill get mad again.
I feel like shit that my immaturity, rage issues and trust issues was the cause of all of this. I would get mad or jelous if she prioritized school or friends because i haven't seen her in 2 weeks.
I'd like some tips, i'm a total mess, i'm wondering if i can save this. I spent all of my time with her, causing me to lose friends. She was probably the only thing that kept me going. Now i probably have to quit my job, because i know i will get emotional and we have the exact same shifts. | Girlfriend broke up with me, said tired of fighting over same issue 4 times, still loves me. She is busy & i get mad because i dont feel loved. Can this be saved? |
t3_2xjnro | relationships | Me [21F] with my Boyfriend [21M] 4 years, I want to be engaged. Advice is appreciated :) | We have been living together for 3 years now and I have known him for 6 years. We have always been flirty and he tells me that hes only ever been into me, which is the same for me. We both grew up really fast and feel like we are older then we are (old spirits). We both have good jobs and are stable. I really want to be engaged, just because I want to know he is really committed to me. I honestly wouldn't even care if we were engaged for like 5 more years. I just want some sort of commitment. We are great together and I know hes the one for me. We have talked about marriage before and he says he wants to marry me, but i'm worried that I will be his girlfriend forever. I don't want to pressure him though. Its just I would love for him to take time picking out a ring and show me he is serious about us. I also know that if I were to ask him to marry him (which I don't want to do anyways) he would refuse. We are both kinda old school on that idea. Also his family and my family and friends are always going on about how we are basically married and should get married. To add in another detail of my life. My gram and his grandpa don't have long to live and want us to get engaged and I would just love for that to happen before they pass. My grandma is all I have ever had in my life and it would make me feel amazing to tell her the wonderful news.What should I do? Do I ask him again or just get with the fact that ill only be his gf? please help.. | I want to be engaged to my bf of 4 going on 5 years, he will refuse me if I propose. I need advice on what to do? |
t3_2y328p | tifu | TIFU helping an elderly woman to her doctor appointment | Today was nasty, snowing like crazy on top of a layer of ice, so conditions on the road & sidewalks was terrible, particularly this morning. I was exiting a professional building and noticed an elderly woman walking through the parking area towards the door, and being the chivalrous gentleman I usually am, help the door for her, even though she wasn't quite there yet (and thinking about yesterday's post about polite things people do that can end up being awkward).
When she noticed that I was holding the door for her, she began to quicken her pace, as people are wont to do, but considering the conditions, this was the worst choice she could have made. In less than a second she slipped on the snow/ice and did a face plant with her head hitting the sidewalk and her body still in the parking area. She was no waif, which I'm sure exacerbated the problem.
She immediately began to cry and I felt terrible, and immediately rushed over to make sure she was OK and to help her up. It took a bit as she was scared out of her mind, and I held her as we walked to the door, and I profusely apologized for nothing really, even though I was actually doing a good deed that messed up.
After a few minutes she began to recover her wits, determined she was not hurt and we talked about the awful weather and she snifflingly said "I wouldn't even have come out in this weather but I need to have my blood work done this morning." "I'm so scared, just so scared!"
I offered to help her to the office inside the building but the waved me off and said she was fine, but thank you. I still felt like an ass. I still do and it's 10 hours later. | opened a door for an elderly woman entering her doctor's building causing her to burger hard face first into the snow and ice, totally freaking her out and making her cry. Felt bad for trying to be nice. |
t3_1wqhwx | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 3 months, he downloads Snapchat and "bestfriends" are all girls...but not me | Boyfriend goes to military school, majority of males. He got a new phone and downloaded snapchat, his reasoning was to send chats with me. My phone broke had problems got a new one last night downloaded snapchat, tap his name to see who his bestfriends are and they are all girls, none of which are me.
Problem: I found out that my ex had been seeing other girls through snapchat and facebook. I'm insecure that my new bf is doing the same. I feel like I can't trust him, but I care about him a lot but I might have to call it quits because it's such a stupid little thing but it led to something devastating. I really don't know what to do. I've been distant with him since last night. | Boyfriend just got a new phone, he downloaded snapchat with the purpose of snapchatting me. All random girls on his bestfriends list, but not me. |
t3_1tgr1o | Dogtraining | Trouble getting and holding puppy's attention during almost any situation | I have a 9 week old Border Collie puppy and she is doing well with most training exercises. She seems to pick up on cues very quickly and has shown positive reactions to most of the training games and sessions we have had together.
Her one issue, and for me this is a huge one, is giving me her attention and keeping it on me. She is not particularly food motivated and also does not seem to be overly toy motivated. Her environment takes all of her attention, all the time. It doesn't matter where we are, inside, outside, empty room, full room. She just has trouble holding her attention on me.
I have tried many positive reinforcement methods and refuse to use punitive methods for this issue. I have been using clicker training with her and have tried using a cue to get eye contact and whatnot. I don't know how to describe the exact techniques I've used to build attention, but the techniques can easily be found online. I've tried all the basics.
Is her attention typical of just being a young puppy and I should just deal with it until she gets older (I've seen training videos where the puppies give good attention all over the place)? I know puppies have very short attention spans and are easily distracted. Anyway, that ended up being a bit more of a ramble than I thought! | My puppy doesn't give me her attention and is easily distracted and I've tried the basic training methods, I need advice. |
t3_17ixxx | BreakUps | [24/m] Advice on breaking up with 13 month [25/f] GF (she also suffers from depression) to pursue dreams | Firstly, I've been thinking about this quite a lot recently. It's giving me a really horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach even typing this.
I've been planning on moving away for a few years now, but no specific date, and the opportunity to do so is coming up in a year's time. I need to decide, because leading her on is not my intention.
She suffers from depression, has recently had to quit university due to it and is currently changing her medication. We're in different parts of our life due to her having learning difficulties. She's really had a shit time recently, only, I'm going to make it so so much worse and it hurts me to think what breaking her heart will do to her. She's the loveliest girl I've ever met. I just know I'm going to regret not following these dreams of mine if I don't end it or make it worse leaving it until last minute.
Can someone advise me? How do I approach this? I feel horrid. | GF for 13 months, has depression and had a shit time recently. Contemplating going away in 1 year to follow dreams, how do I approach this? |
t3_1np5ku | relationships | I [19 M] just asked out my best friend [20/F] of four years, last week. How long does it take to know a relationship would work? | We have been best friend for 4 years, both have had a serious relationship with other people during that time. During the last 2 years we have been single but have had flings with other people.
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I have secretly liked her for the last 2 years but decided to stay a friend because I didn't want to ruin things between us.
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I finally confessed and told her I couldn't be her friend without having feelings for her.
Initially asked her how she felt about me and she said she only saw me as a friend.
I gave her an ultimatum, we try dating or I stop talking to her and move on.
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In the end we decide to give it a shot.
She wants to take things slow. How long is reasonable time to give this? How many dates?
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I fear that because I have liked her for so long and feel like if I wait too long and end up being rejected that it will hurt me more. | Asked out my best friend I have liked for 2 years. She wants to take it slow. How long does it usually take to see if a relationship would work ? |
t3_wkkxt | AskReddit | A former friend has gone batshit crazy on me. Any suggestions? | A little back story: In April of this year I had given up a cell phone to save money. In the middle of the month, my friend suggested that he could put me on his cell phone plan and it would only cost him $5 more than what he was currently paying. I accepted and got a cheap talk/text plan (it's all I wanted seeing as he was doing me a favor).
In late April, he told me he needed the phone back and cited 2 different reasons (his 12yo sister needed a phone/the phone was costing him more than he thought) so I gave it back on May 10th, give or take a day or so.
Last week he messaged me online and said that I owed him $80 for using the internet on the phone he got me. Seeing as the phone was only talk/text AND that he called Sprint and had Internet service blocked (or so he told me) I don't feel like I owe him anything. He sent me a picture of the bill he got showing that 185 (I'm assuming Mb) were used from May 3rd through June 2nd. Seeing as I gave the phone back on May 10th-ish, That leaves 7 days for me to have allegedly run up an $80 bill, which I am positive I didn't do, seeing as it was impossible.
The bill he showed me said that the phone used was 3G, and unless I'm mistaken, the phone wasn't 3G either. It was an LG Remarq. | My former friend is trying to scam me out of $80 because his little sister looked up porn on a phone that I gave back to him a month ago. |
t3_2xitg1 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my friend/previous dating interest [21 F], confused about recent behavior. | Hi everyone. To explain the title, I have been friends with a girl, call her Sam, for about eight months (both in school and in the same major). The first weekend after christmas break we started dating since we realized how similar we were with interests and stuff, especially skiing. That lasted for about a month, ending in the beginning of February when I noticed she wasn't really initiating anything with me and being a little distant. She initiated the break but it was pretty mutual since nothing really changed between how we interacted in class. I did feel a little lost the day after but I got over it very quickly because life goes on and she's a great friend.
That was basically a month ago. Fast forward to last night (Friday night), our friend group went to a bar in the city, had a ton of fun, drank too much, etc. As we were about to leave, I couldn't find my jacket which I left on a chair, so me being fairly drunk, started getting hysterical because of how expensive the jacket is (brooks brothers pea coat). Sam noticed and went to get a manager to take my name and number if it turned up the next day. As we were waiting for a cab back to campus, for whatever weird reason I honestly started crying which I never do and started apologizing because even I realized it was kind of stupid to cry over a jacket. Sam basically turned into a mother figure and started trying to calm me down by hugging me and saying everything will be ok the whole time back to campus and in her apartment.
The whole time this was happening all the romantic feelings I had for her started coming back and once we got back to her apartment we cuddled until we both fell asleep. When we woke up the next morning it felt like a month ago when we were dating. Cuddling, kissing, etc.
I guess the reason I'm asking you all is why would someone, who tells me we should be friends instead of dating, go above and beyond to be there for me, especially with the cuddling once I had calmed down. She didn't even hesitate when I started melting down. | Friend I dated for a short time was there for me when I had a meltdown and now confused where she truly does still like me more than a friend. |
t3_3k6mf1 | tifu | TIFU by almost killing myself and my girl | Last night, I was driving on the freeway towards home at 3AM. I was in the far left lane going about 75 MPH when I fell asleep behind the wheel. My car started veering toward the center divider when I heard my girl repeating my name. I woke up to see myself inches from the center divider. I made a hard right turn and lost control of my car. I started skidding in circles in the middle of the freeway. The whole time all I could see is my life flashing before my eyes and all I could hear is my girl repeating my name. After making about 4 circles. All I could see is smoke from my tires engulfing my car and other cars headlights directed at us. When the smoke cleared I was facing the opposite direction of traffic. I turned around then continued driving home. Thank God there weren't too many cars on the freeway. Thank God none of us were hurt. And thank God my car wasn't damaged. She saved my life. | Fell asleep behind the wheel. Almost hit center divider. Skidded in about 4 circle. No one hurt. Car wasn't damaged. Drove home |
t3_2gw5wr | tifu | TIFU being caught going on fb 4 times already when I'm supposed to be doing work (parents are super asian) | First time using this section. Be gentle pls.
So this month i have been already caught on fb 3 times and SUPER ASIAN parents absolutely hate it, so they got really pissed and gave me one last chance. Well today i blew it (20 mins ago.) Since they are usually in the family room that is down the end of the hall, i can hear the door open and immediately close the window im on. there is also curtains on the door way of my room so that when they walk down the hall, the curtains would block their view. But, there is a gap betweeen the curtains so i would have to manually close the gap between it and this is where i fuck up today. i finish lunch and my dad is in the kitchen washing dishes. i say im gonna finish up my hw so we can go out for a walk in 10 mins and go back to my room. i go on fb, msg some people and hear the door open from family room. i think to myself, hey why dont i finish up this msg because the curtains are blocking his view so i finish up and close it right before he comes in. "what are you doing son." uh oh. that doesn't right. i look behind me and he has a stern face. FUCK. i realized i forgot to close the gap in the curtains this one time. i knew that he knew so i just gave way. "checking on fb?" i said. Thats when he goes all ape shit over me reaching well over 10 000 decibels and orders me to stare at the fb homescreen until 12am. (its 4:00) then he proceeds to walk down the stairs and slam the door out for "our" walk. My mom is still at work and im fucked when she comes back. I feel so screwed and worried what should i do? fuck.fuck.fuck. Should i update on what happens tonight? | forgot to close curtains to not let my dad see in my room on fb while doing "homework" then goes crazy mad so loud that prob the city would hear. |
t3_xae1h | AskReddit | Reddit, I was nearly hit on the head by a falling toilet. What's your near-death experience? | When I was 10 years old my upstairs neighbors were renovating their house, and being extremely stupid and careless, they were throwing old furniture out the window.
Now in order to get into my backyard I have to walk past their winodw which is around 40 feet above the ground.
One day as I was walking past their window, they threw a toilet out the window, that landed literally 2 feet to my right.
I havn't done the research, but I assume that kind of hit would've killed me, or injured me pretty severely.
So reddit, what are your near death experiences? | Renovating neighbots threw toilet out the window that nearly fell on my head. What are your near death experiences? |
t3_xl7n1 | self | How would you handle this situation? | On Christmas morning 2008 as my family and I were opening presents, my father stood up and announced he was unhappy and was leaving. This destroyed both my mother and my sister, leaving me to be the person that held my family together at 16 years old. During the custody hearing, my dad said that he did not want to see us or have any custody.
That was the last time I heard from him until 2010, when I accidentally pocket-texted him while at work. He responded and I called him, hoping to talk. He answered, told me he loved me and that he was in a business meeting and would have to call me back later. He never called back.
He doesn't contact anyone in my family or his parents or siblings. No one knows where he is. I decided to do some online searching last night and searched for all the companies he had worked for in the past and eventually, due to some snooping, found his Facebook and Linkedin profile. He lives in a different country now, with a woman who I presume is his current wife (they share the same last name) and a child.
I don't know if I want to contact him, because I don't know what I would say. We had an extremely close relationship. In the past, I have chosen to deal with his abandonment as if he had died. I remember him as he was before he left and I never really troubled myself with worrying about who he is now, save for the curiosity that led to me finding him online. Now that I have seen these pictures of him with another family, that illusion has been shattered and I am devastated. I cannot talk to my mother or sister because they wouldn't be able to handle it. I need some advice on how to handle this situation. What would Reddit do? | Dad abandoned the family on Christmas morning, no contact with family, I found pictures of him with a new family and have been on a log flume ride down the river of my own tears ever since. |
t3_s22wr | relationships | My boyfriend and I are moving in together in a couple months, any advice? | Me (F, 19) and him (M, 22) are planning to rent an apartment together, we've been together officially since November of 2011, and before that we knew each other before for a couple months and flirted quite a bit. We didn't plan to actually make it just us in the apartment, we had three other people we were going to be with, but recently plans fell through, so now its just going to be me and him. We are planning to get a two bedroom since we want to be moving in as friends, rather than moving too quickly into a relationship. The most important thing is that we want to move out of our parent's houses, and want to make it a comfortable and safe environment.
He comes over to my parent's house a lot already, and we spend a lot of time together, and we both are level-headed people who talk things out if anything goes awry. We also work a lot at different times, he works 7-5, and I have varying hours, mostly overnights and a couple 2-10 pm shifts. So my question is, does anyone have any tips on keeping the peace and not getting fed up with each other so our relationship can grow stronger? | My boyfriend and I are moving in together, but we are each going to have separate bedrooms as we are moving in just as friends. Does anyone have any advice to keep the peace and keep our relationship moving in a positive direction? |
t3_24xpbo | relationships | Me [21F] with my Crush [21F] 1 year, idk what to do | There is this girl at my school, I really liked. The whole year I thought she was single. So every once in a while I ask if she'd want to go on a date with me. She would say no.
I fucking find out that she was dating the whole fucking time, (she broke it off 3 weeks ago). She's a private individual so I get that. I don't mind that she dated. Why didn't she say she was taken. She was being honest.
I don't know what to do. My sister says to snub her. Whereas others say, it's alright. I feel like she lied to me. Did she? What should I do? | My crush acted like she was single for a whole year. I found out today she became single 3 weeks ago. What should I do? |
t3_3y9cx5 | relationships | My (25f) mom (56) is newly pro life, which upset my sister (22). | Tonight after Christmas dinner we decided to play cards against humanity. Things were going well, we were all having a great time, until my mom and my sister got a bit too drunk and had an altercation over an abortion card.
We all know my mom has switched to "pro life" after marrying her new husband. It doesn't matter that she told me to get an abortion when I was 20 (after I decided that I didn't want to terminate my pregnancy) and she also had an abortion herself when she was in high school. It is a subject she is weirdly gung-ho about and no it doesn't have anything to do with regrets from her own abortion.
Now my sister is a realist, and she takes this personally. Realistically if my mom decided not to terminate her first pregnancy, me and my siblings would not be here. Therefor when my mom says she regrets her abortion, my sister takes it as she regrets having the abortion because she does not care for the children she now has. My mom is a classic NMom and I have tried explaining to my sister that It doesn't matter who we are, that she would never be able to have children who are "good enough." I know my sister is a little bit irrational with her equating regretting an abortion to regretting her existence but I feel the need to side with her because I know how hurtful it is for her to have a mom to actively changes her views based on her "man" but I would hate for this conflict to ruin the holidays. They are both stubborn people,how can I get them to agree to disagree? | My sister is upset that my mom regrets her abortion and is now extremely pro life because of a new husband, because realistically my sister and I would not be here if she didn't get an abortion and my sister is taking it personally. |
t3_3z1k2e | relationships | Me [40F] with my uncle [42 M], who is an "unschooler" and whose kids can't read at age 10 - how concerned should I be? | He and his wife believe that the kids shouldn't be forced to study anything until till they express a desire to learn it. So far, their expressed desires include
* playing Minecraft
* All about fires: starting, preventing, putting out, evacuating in the event of - only because a neighbor lost her puppy in a fire
* making friendship bracelets.
When they have no expressed interests, which is 99% of the time, they learn by living. Whatever that means, it does not include learning to identify coins, nor any letters not in their own names, but the kids are happy and outgoing.
Other relatives had expressed some concern over taking this view to extremes, and demand that I "do something." I didn't really understand until I visited for Christmas this year.
The kids were unable to play any board games more advanced than Sorry, couldn't play the video game Animal Crossing without Mom reading the screen to them, or help the cousins "play Santa" by distributing gifts under tree to the proper recipient. They couldn't sound out Sam or identify packages for Grandma, even after it was pointed out that anything beginning with a G was for her. The boy was unable to identify a quarter till his twin said "Its the big one, stupid," at which point the entire world stopped revolving for a prolonged discussion of respecting others.
Uncle and wife call their approach Waldorf-Monte-Sudbury, whatever that means, after some supposedly wonderful educational approaches. They also: talk incessantly about making good choices, insist that kids being kids is natural and beautiful, claim that public schools are abusive (in front of kids who attend them), continue to breastfeed their 5 year old, and frequently mention their genius IQs (both parents, and likely accurate).
They live in a state with very broad homeschooling laws and there is no agency-type recourse here without a level of evidence I cannot provide. Those who have challenged these two in the past were immediately cut off completely from all contact with them or the kids. As I live far away, I'm the obvious next to try. | Uncle and wife determined that kids will choose their own educational adventure, or not; other relatives seem to think I can fix this. |
t3_2gw3yy | dating_advice | I (19M) went out on a small coffee date/meetup with a girl (19F) who showed interest in me, and I could use some advice! | Alright so I'll keep this short to make things easier for everyone. I met this girl in one of my university classes, and we hit it off instantly. She actually initiated conversation the first time. We talked in class for the first week, and then I asked her for her number on Tuesday. We texted back and forth for two days, and despite her being extremely busy, she agreed to have a little coffee date/hangout with me yesterday.
The meetup went fairly well, but it was pretty short. We talked for about an hour, and then I dropped her off. There may have been a couple of awkward moments towards the end, but nothing major that I can think of. I was a little nervous and off my game (I just recently got out of a 5 year long relationship) to be fair. Before leaving I said that we should meet up again and she agreed that we'd see each other next week. Against my better judgement, I texted her a few hours afterwards to just let her know that I had a good time. I didn't end up getting a reply.
So here's my question: Is this a bad sign? It was a pretty generic text that didn't really lead into much of a conversation, so perhaps that was why she didn't reply to it. She didn't reply to another one of my messages that was like that the day before. I haven't messaged her since about 3:00PM yesterday. Should I shoot her a text tomorrow and ask if she'd be down to grab some drinks or something? Where do I go from here. Advice would be much appreciated! | went on date with girl who was into me, things went fairly well. Texted her that I had a good time and didn't get a reply back. Should I text her again in a few days? |
t3_4wzlf4 | relationships | I [19M] hooked up with a girl [23F] and she got pregnant. Don't know what to do. | So, here's the story. I hooked up with this girl around 4 months ago. Nothing really serious. We were using only condoms and at some point she started to taking pills for birth control. Two months later, one night we had drunk sex and I didn't use a condom.
Two weeks ago, I stopped to talk to her.
Today she said she's pregnant with a child; went to the doctor and had an ultrasound done. She said that the heart is developed.
She doesn't want a abortion and wants me out of her life. She said I couldn't support them financially, affectively and that I didn't want the baby anyways.
The thing is...she's right. I'm a student that doesn't love her or want a child.
She's moving to another city soon. And, for context, she already has another son.
My question, that keeps me up at night, is:
Do I have to respect her will? The only thing I could do is bring more troubles. | girl and I hooked up, she got pregnant, doesn't want me around and I don't know if I have to be okay with it. |
t3_15tryb | dating_advice | I [21M] love this girl and she [17F] lives in another country | First of all, i'm not worried about what you think of our age difference.
So the things is... she is the most wonderful girl I've EVER met. I'm not talking about looks, i'm talking about personality. She is amazing. I love her more than anything and she also said that she loves me many times. We talk every day, when we can we video chat on skype. She is one of the few things that make me happy recently. She is the only person that I trust to talk about anything, with who I truly open myself. The problem is that she lives in another country. I don't want to say from which countries we are, I don't think it matters. But she really wants to see me and I'm going to visit her in the middle of 2013 and I'm going to spend a lot of money just for that. I know her for 7 months now.
Anyway, yesterday, january 1st, I thought "Why not begin the year with something good?" and oficially asked her if she wants to be my girlfriend. Now this is where I got punched in the face: she said that she needs to think because this is too important for her and she lives there, I live here... I got so sad when I read that... after saying that she had to go to sleep. I kept thinking about it the whole night, it was hard to sleep. Today I woke up and kept thinking about it. I went to gym to work out, but was so sad that I only stayed there for about 20 min and left.
I know we are too young and it would be hard, but damn, I know people that made it work. I want to try it because I f*cking love her. Even if it doesn't work, I wanted to try.
So please help me people. Give me your thoughts about it. Give me your advice. Please. I'm super sad right now.
Thanks for your attention. | We love each other and live in different countries. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she didn't say no, but she said that she need to think about it because it's a really important thing for her. |
t3_2s6tsl | relationships | My husband [30/M]wants to move across the country, I [28/F], don't want to. Help! | My husband has had this dream of moving across the country to work for one of the big tech companies. We live on the East coast, he wants to move to California or Seattle. It's his dream.
But my vision for our life is to live close to family. I grew up across the country from extended family and that's not what I want for my kids. We saw my grandparents once a year. I barely know them. We missed all the birthday parties, all the holiday parties. My parents are getting up there and I might have 10 years left with them. I want to be with them and I especially want my kids to continue to have a relationship with their grandparents. We might be able to fly back twice a year, but that's not the same.
What should I do? | My husband wants to move, but it's too far from my family. I don't want to sacrifice his career dreams for my needs, but I also don't want to give up family. |
t3_181ey0 | dating_advice | Dating sites. Been chatting for a while, now what? | Hi guys,
I'm 27M and a 23F started talking to me on an online dating site recently. I've never used them before till recently I thought I'd try something different.
Anyways, we have been talking over SMS for about a week and a half now and have been getting along really good and seem to have a bit in common, she has been making hints about meeting up etc. So yesterday I finally asked about meeting up at the end of one of my messages.
She replied to the message but not to the part about meeting up, seemed to compeletly ignore that part, so I thought she might not be interested or maybe shy/scared of meeting up at the moment.
She still keeps messaing me random things and starting random conversations, generally still seeming interested. Do I just keep chatting with her for a bit longer and see what happens or what?
The only thing is because we've run out of the general get to know you stuff to say, conversations are starting to die off fairly quickly and I find it hard to keep conversations going online/over SMS when you don't really know someone very well, which is why I would liked to meet up and see if theres any chemistry in person before it dies off.... | Been chatting to a girl for about 1.5 weeks, asked to meet up which she ignored but keeps starting conversations and seeming interested in me. What from here? |
t3_36a97e | tifu | TIFU by posting to my instagram feed something that was meant to be a dm | So for reference, there is this girl I have liked for a while that I'm pretty good friends with and i don't really know how she feels about me, but she started ignoring me for the past few days. She doesn't "know" i like her yet, so that makes this all the more nerve racking for me. Anyway, I didn't know why she was avoiding me, so I was gonna talk to her brother (another of my good friends) to see if everything was okay with her. I realized I didn't have his number, so I thought I'd DM him on instagram to see if everythjng was alright. However, at this exact moment my sister decided to distract me, and instead of choosing the DM option, I chose the regualar insta feed post. So I had this really long drawn out thing about how i didn't think I did anything wrong, but wasn't sure cuz she just wouldn't talk to me anymore, posted on my feed for almost 2 minutes. I keep telling myself out of 401 followers, not many could have seen it, but I'm still freaking out. As slmeone who has a hard time watching embarrassing scenes in movies, this is actually kind of a nightmare for me. I actually think I might shit myself.... can't wait for tomorrow to scope out all of the people looking at me awkwardly who have clearly seen what I posted. | I posted an embarrassing message about a girl I like on my instagram feed, and don't know how many people actually saw it and read the heartfelt paragraph |
t3_1ll9n9 | Dogtraining | my dog whines when I leave him alone and barks at sounds he hears outside our apartment. | We adopted him from a shelter 8 month ago and he always had separation anxieties, so we crate trained him to be able to leave him alone without him destroying the whole house. He would bark at neighbors (in the same house) and in general if he hears people outside our room. When he sees someone in the building he barks at them but when they come closer he just sniffs and is not aggressive at all. That is the same with dogs outside. In addition to that he charges at squirrels and cats, but I am not sure if it's just to say "hi" or if he is being aggressive towards them.
We moved to a new apartment 3 days ago and now it is really important that he makes a good impression. We live in a huge building with many other tenants and he barks at them while we are in the apartment or in the hallway. I am not sure how to make him understand that he should not try to protect us (?!) in the building and that these people are no threat to us? (I guess that why he is barking at them) He does not have any problems with people outside...what can I do to keep him calm around people in the house? I started to give him treats as soon as I hear a noise outside our apartment so he connects sounds with something positive but I am not sure if this is the right approach. help :( | dog barks at other tenants and launches at them, barks when he hears something outside the apartment and charges at dogs/cats/squirrels outside and in, but is totally nice to people outside. |
t3_eno9v | AskReddit | Best way to get even with a landlady? | Hi Reddit, so here's my story:
I moved to Buenos Aires and am currently renting a room in a 3BR apt. I pay on a monthly basis and my contract is up for renewal on the 24th of each month. Last week, my landlady informed me that the owner (separate person, my landlady is a real estate agent of sorts) is having guests over for two weeks in January and needs ALL the rooms in the apt. Basically, she said I could move out temporarily for two weeks and come back or move out altogether. Obviously, I picked the latter since I'd have to move out anyway and I don't want to deal with this, among other previous nonsense, anymore.
Needless to say, I am PISSED about having to scramble to find an apt with about two week's notice during the holiday season. I'm moving out Sunday (luckily found a nice place through a rec from a friend), but I want to get even in a subtle, yet effective way. I can't trash the place in an obvious way because she has my $400 USD deposit, which I'll only get back on Monday after she inspects my room... So ideas? | My landlady fucked me over and is essentially kicking me out with two weeks' notice to find an apt during the holidays. I want revenge. Ideas? |
t3_2f57wm | relationships | I [21 F] hate my boyfriend [22 M] because he is a shit person. | I just realized everything he has put me through. Why am I still with him? Oh, because we have a child together...
Well, I was talking to a friend of mine and he told me that my boyfriend used to go out with his girlfriend. I asked "When?" and my friend literally said "...When he started going out with you." Apparently he was cheating. I remember him mentioning her before then when I remembered and asked if she was the one he talked about he said no.
Suddenly I remembered everything he has put me through. The time when I caught him flirting and talking sexually to a girl, things like what he would do to her and stuff.
The time when he would send this one girl messages about how beautiful and "radiant" she was. He talked about her body in ways he never talked about mine...
Oh, and the time when my friend told me that he backed her into a corner, hit on her and told her that even though I'm the mother of his child our relationship is going nowhere and he doesn't really want me.
I'm sure there is more but those are all the ones I can think of right now. He basically talked his way out of every single situation and turned it on me or something. He said my friend was lying. He said he flirted with that girl because we had been fighting a lot, I was pushing him away and that it was just his "dick talking."
I don't know what to do because the one time before that I tried to leave he wouldn't let me take our child and then he called my dad so my dad could convince me to stay. I don't even have anywhere to go and I'm scared I'll never get my daughter if I leave. | My asshole of a boyfriend seems to talk his way out of all the shitty things he does, I'm just now realizing what a douche he is, I'm scared to leave, what do I do? |
t3_4wjpnp | relationships | My [ M/17] Girlfriend [F/16]'s Sister [F/19] sent me a rude message. | My girlfriend requested me to be honest with her when she asks me if I am okay, I have the bad habit about lying and saying that I am O.K. when I feel like utter shit. She says me being honest is healthy communication practice between us.
She was out with her family today to celebrate her sister's birthday tonight when she asked me if I was okay and I was acting off. I did my best to be happy for her but lately my depression has been a lot worse and I was honest to her about it.
I stayed in bed for a few days because she was busy and when my friends hung out online, they'd hang out in large groups and that gives me anxiety. I told her this exactly, and her sister and mother took her phone from her, read our messages, and then her sister sent me a text message.
"I'm spending time with my sister for my birthday, can you chill the fuck out and stop making her feel like shit for spending time with me? Greatly appreciate it."
Initially, my response was "Yes, I'm sorry" but i've begun to wonder whether or not that was even acceptable.
1) They took her phone without her consent and snooped through our messages
2) They were emotionally involved in a relationship they're not a part of
3) They took the extra step past forming an opinion to shoving it down my throat.
What do I do? Am I in the wrong? Am I personally flawed? What do I change? Should I not tell her when I feel bad? | Sister sent me her opinion of my actions after snooping through my girlfriend's phone, I do not appreciate this but cannot help but feel like shit. |
t3_41mpc9 | relationships | My [20 M] boyfriend for over 4 years initiated a break with me [20 F] and I want to get back together. | So, I've been with this guy for over four years. Been through the good, bad, ugly, pretty, etc. Been struggling with anxiety for about two years now, and naturally using boyfriend as my rock.
After two years and a shitty few weeks of fighting and bickering, boyfriend decides he wants to take a break with me because:
- He doesn't find the relationship enjoyable anymore
- I am dumping too much of my mental illness
problems with him
- He's too tired to try fixing it right now
So, he tells me he wants space. I respect this need and have not talked to him. But, obviously I want to stay together. Given him not being impressed with how I've been acting, I don't know how to prove to him that he can trust me again.
I have taken his advice to "take care of myself" - started going to gym, reaching out to get professional help for anxiety, and am spending more time sleeping.
But, obviously I miss him really fucking much and feel super fucking shitty and guilty for treating him like this. So, how do I convince him that I've bettered myself so that he can regain interest in me? | How do I win my boyfriend back after he told me that I emotionally abused him? Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? |
t3_45lw1v | relationships | Me [33 M] with my wife [33 F] of 12 years - trying to get past her 2 year emotional affair with a business partner, but she continues to communicate with his Mother. | For the past two years my wife, Juliet, has had an "emotional affair" with her business partner James. She swears that it never got physical, but admits that she shares a deep emotional connection with James that her and I have never experienced. As of today, our marriage is hanging by a thread and I am too numb to put up a fight to save it.
Juliet has resolved to cut off communication with James and wants us to go to marriage counciling; yet, she continues to text James' mother! I know this because I have seen the text records on AT&T. I have asked her to stop repeatedly. How should I best confront her on this? Should I go to Mariage Counciling? | ! My wife is cutting off communication with her "emotional affair," yet continues to text his mother. How do i confront this? |
t3_20son6 | relationships | i[26M] need help with handling the future of the relationship talk[27F], because i'm driving myslef insane. | i'm in one of those strange relationships - if you can call them even that - where we are together and at the same time we are not. And from all this back and forth i feel like crap because i love her and i care about her like i've never cared before for anyone else. Finally we made time to talk about us and what's happeining and what will be our future. I want to say so many things and ask so many questions that i have no clue where to start and with what.
It's been a week and i can't do my job or even sleep becase i cosntantly try to figure out what i want to say and it's driving me insane. should i ask her what she thinks or should i tell her first how i feel and so on and so on. Now i'm overthinking everything and i end up in the same starting place. I've never been so helpless in my life. I worry that i will end up driving her away with all that. I don't know what and how to say it without me sounding like a complete moron or insane person. | i'm asking for help if anyone can give me advice how to handle "the talk" because i have zero experiance with this. |
t3_370y59 | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] of almost 2 years, having problems with him sharing my personal information | So, a few weeks ago I had an episode of still unknown origin where I fainted and was laying unconscious with my eyes open for a good 20 seconds. I possibly hit my head on the way down and it may possibly have been a mini seizure, which I have been undiagnosed with. I lost my insurance a week prior to this, so my ER visit obviously racked up a large bill. My boyfriend was there during the incident, and drove me to the hospital, and has spent the subsequent weeks stressing about my insurance and not being able to financially afford the bill (on top of my other medical debt). I recently started making more money at work, so I no longer qualify for state insurance, but I also barely make above the cutoff and can't really afford any other insurance.
He has been stressing about this so much that he has been talking to other people about what happened, like his mom, and his older sister, causing them to worry about me. But last night he went out alone with a girl whom I have a history of problems with and blabbed everything to her, as well. I have a huge problem with them even seeing each other, and then to hear that he's telling her my personal health information and asking her for advice on what kind of insurance I should get (the girl and I share a company employer but don't work together, thankfully) just made me really upset. He thinks I'm being ridiculous saying that it was something that happened to him, as well, and doesn't think it's a big deal that he told her, since he's told family and friends (that I actually like and trust) and I had no problem with it. | BF blabbed about my personal health and income information to a friend of his whom I hate, thinks it's no big deal. Am I overreacting or is he in the wrong to share this without my permission? |
t3_551uln | relationships | My [27 M] ex stopped talking to me [21 F] of four months two years ago but things have changed and I'm wondering if I should contact him. | I just keep thinking that I could be the one he could be with, that we got along so well, but he stopped talking to me. I think he felt guilty that he broke up with me and he also wanted to leave the past behind. We're both lonely, we both understand each other and I think we can make each other happy, which we have in the past. These things are all well and good, but they don't mean anything if he just doesn't have any feelings for me. He liked me a lot and we would talk for hours every day.
The problem with us was that we were (and still are) long distance (interstate), he probably didn't want to deal with that and I can't really blame him. I also started complaining a lot, at first I was an escape for him from his problems and eventually I became one of his problems. So the "relationship" wasn't so great for him anymore.
I feel like now at least I have changed. I'm not as naggy as I used to be, so that's why I feel maybe this time it could work. I can also probably see him once a month, and maybe he could come here sometimes. It's not much but it's something. Still, I don't think I can move for another five years or so, and I don't think he would be willing to leave any time soon either. Maybe I could forget about him for a while and come back when I'm more likely to be able to move.
Maybe if I contact him and he rejects me again I can finally put this to rest and stop hoping. I honestly feel pathetic for wanting to contact him after he dumped me and stopped talking to me.
He's one of the few people I can really understand and connect to, and that's why I just can't let this go. It doesn't feel right to leave it in the past, with others I understood why we would be never suited to each other, but to me this one feels like it was based on circumstance, not inherent incompatibility. What should I do?
________________________________________ | Missing ex from an online relationship from years ago, feel like things have changed so maybe this time things will work out. Not sure how to proceed after all this time when he stopped talking to me. |
t3_1jru66 | relationships | I(F18) can't stand my sister(F23) | My older sister has always been the "trouble maker" between the two of us. She strugles with a herion addiction. Her actions while being on dope have been unbeleivable. She's stolen from me and my family numerous times, has been in jail, tried hurting herself and sometimes others, she has put an emotional strain on me and my family for years.
She ran free for about a month before she, once again, came crawling back to our doorstep begging for help. She says she is clean, says she is really trying this time.
I cannot stand her. After 5 years of seeing her addiction I know this is heading in a bad direction. She countinues to party, and surround herself with people who also have previous struggles with herion. Her bad descians appaul me. She does not learns from mistakes.
I feel bad because she is my sister. I feel bad because I am embarresed of her. I can't be in the same room without getting angry at what she says/does.
Do any of you have siblings like this? | My sister struggles with addiction. Her previous actions has made me build up a grudge against her. I don't think we'll every get along. |
t3_3d87ie | relationships | My Ex (22/F) texted me (22/M) wishing me happy birthday a week before my actual birthday. Then again the day after my birthday. | So as the title says my ex girlfriend texted me a week before my bday wishing me a happy bday. I told her thanks but it's not my bday.....she apologized and said "yeah I knew that....I just have had birthdays on the mind." What???
Fast forward to a few days ago the day after my bday I get a long few texts apologizing a bunch for forgetting and the whole ordeal. She seemed pretty apologetic but its hard for me when I am still in love with this girl.
We broke up a back in October but I am still dealing with the loss of my 3 year best friend and lover. We are still very close as friends but I now live in a different state and our lives are moving apart. I miss her and think about her constantly and it really hurt to not get that birthday text or call. Especially when I sent her a bday card and present with a long letter...probably too much of me and its not like I expected a present in return I just expected her to at least think of me on my bday when we spent the past 3-4 years together.
Not sure why I'm posting this maybe just looking to vent and get some advice on what to do moving forward without her.
Thanks! | my ex gf of 3 years texted me a week before and the day after my bday. Angry, sad, confused. Looking for any advice |
t3_3ggw0l | relationships | My [24 F] professor [30s M] is overly sensitive and inappropriate, and now I'm afraid it'll affect my grade. | I'm taking a once a week, 3.5 hour, physiology course over the summer. I have taken this professor previously and kind of knew what to expect, as far overly sensitive. To give you an idea, he spent 30 minutes of class last quarter lecturing us about "talking behind other people's backs" because someone gave him a bad online review.
This past Tuesday we had both a midterm and a lecture. After the midterm, he asked everyone how it was. I gave some feedback, and he said we could talk about it during the break. I replied that it was fine to talk about during office hours. Fast forward 1.5 hours, he ends class and asks if I want to talk about it. At this point, I haven't eaten in 8 hours so I said it was okay, assuming again, that we would just talk about it in office hours.
He went off about me to two other students after I left, ranting and complaining about me for awhile. One student, who is my friend, was in the back not even listening and he pulled her into the conversation. Apparently, he thought I was ungrateful because he ended class early for me specifically, which I obviously did not know since we had also reached the end of the powerpoint.
I find this really inappropriate, but I'm also now afraid it'll affect my grading. I'm not sure what's the best course of action. I was debating on bringing it up in office hours, but I know he's a little unstable and I also don't want to implicate my friends. I was also thinking of going to the department chair but that seems intense.
In addition to this, he sends contradictory emails about when things are due (i.e. this online quiz is due at 9pm; just kidding, I'm going to take it down at 12pm). His exams are full of mistakes, and he doesn't let you take them home, giving you only ten minutes in office hours to review them. These are some other things that bother me that I feel like are never addressed when I, or my other classmates, have brought them up in office hours. | My professor complained/ranted about me to other students, which I find a little inappropriate. He has some control issues and doesn't seem very emotionally unstable. I'm afraid it will affect my grade. |
t3_1nd6x3 | AskReddit | Can I get your help with a key piece in a surprise for my wife? | Backstory: my wife's best friend lives in San Francisco and I'm surprising her with a trip to see him.
She has no idea and my plan is that she won't know until she arrives at the airport, (being chauffeured by her brother) where I will already be waiting for her.
She is under the impression that I have to work that day and she will be spending the day hanging with her brother. Because the time that the flight is at, he is really limited when it comes to things to do downtown that early. I thought it would be fun if instead, I wrote out a riddle with the answer being the airport and she has to solve it and he takes her there.
I need help creating this fun, mildly challenging riddle though. I'm not creative in the slightest when it comes to creating this type of thing. Any ideas are welcomed. Thank you! | surprising my wife with a trip to San Francisco for her birthday, need help creating a fun, mildly challenging riddle where the answer is "the airport". |
t3_lh6h5 | relationships | The Ex. The Girlfriend. The Problem. Help. | A quick back story. I started dating my ex (let's call her M) back in high school. We dated for 2 years, graduated, broke up shortly before college, got back together halfway through Freshman year of college, and then broke up again back in July. Both of us 19 and sophomores in college now.
So, M broke up with me, I hit the rebound pretty quickly. I met this other girl (let's call her W) soon after the break up. We had gone to high school together and literally never said a word to each other. So we hit it off pretty well.
Fast forward about a month, now we are dating. It is going good on the surface and we are really enjoying each other's company. So I like W, but she is just one of those really cool girls. We hang out, get intimate, and that is pretty much it. On a simple level, it is pretty much just a great FWB situation.
So after a few weeks of that, I decide to make amends with M just for the sake of being a good person, and M is really one of my best friends. Turns out M pours her heart back on me, and my feelings pretty much reciprocate.
So here I am. M is the only person I have been able to have that connection with. W is a really nice and cool girl, but on a romantic connective level, there is just nothing there. And W definitely has more feelings for me then I do for her.
Am I wrong to be back with M? If/when I do, how can I not completely devastate W? | Ex wants to get back together with both of our feelings still there, but I do not know how to handle all of it with my new girlfriend who just feels more like a FWB. |
t3_20yvav | relationships | I'm [25/F] always running after my bf [25 M]. Instead I KNOW I need to break up with him. But I can't. Please help | I've been with my bf for 2+ years now, but I have know that I need to break up with him for pretty much an entire course of the relationship...
We are just not compatible whatsoever. I feel like with somebody else he might be a good guy, but not with me. Same as I am.... with him I can act like a total bitch when I am normally not like that. We just bring out the worst in each other. When it's good its AMAZING. When it's bad it's so bad. And each time we think we hit the bottom it just gets worse next time.
We have a perfectly good month when we have no arguments, no fights, nothing. And then it just gets BAD. Every.single.month.
What makes it worse is that even when it's good I still feel like I am running after him. Always have. But I also know we are just not good for or to each other.
But everytime we try to break up we say how madly in love we are with each other despite everything. He tells me he knows he needs to try more, and that he needs to stop be an ass to me, and how he loves me. And I tell him that I won't overeact anymore, and how I won't nag him for little things.
We promise each other SO much yet it doesn't work.
When I try to break up, I take it back.... But I cannot do this anymore everymonth. He has that stupid hold of me I cannot get over.
Please please please somebody advise me on how to deal with this situation. How do we actually break up?? | Me and my bf bring out the worst in each other and we must break up. Yet everytime we try we take it back..... How do you actually break up in this situation?? |
t3_4bfiab | GetMotivated | [Story] Failed two classes, hard work saved the day. | Hello all, just wanted to share my story since i'm very excited and happy.
Last quarter was probably the worst 4 months I've had to go through, between a bout of depression and absolutely hating the college I was going to and the commute that came along with it, I completely bombed some very important classes. I got a 1.3 in my intro computer class and a 1.8 in the calc 1 class. To get into my major, the college requires a 2.5 and 2.0 respectively.
Coming off of these grades, I ended up transferring to a sister school that was closer to home that had smaller class sizes. I took only the two classes that I had failed last quarter and really loved my teachers and the environment so much more. Between a shorter commute, smaller classes, a metric-ton of studying, some really nice tutors, and lots of student-teacher interaction, I managed to pull a 4.0 in both classes. I'm looking forward to the next quarter even more and while I know that it'll only get harder from here, I trust myself to pull through whatever comes. | Idiotic college student fails two major-required classes, transfers to a different college, pulls two 4.0 out of the ashes. |
t3_vyrco | relationships | i'm a lesbian, in love with best friend, she's engaged but recently drunkenly tried to make out with me. help! | I'm a lesbian [29/f] and I've been slowly developing feelings for my bff [25/f] for about a year. She's amazing and we have such a connection! And she's always flirting with me, talking about sex, and telling me how if she was a lesbian, she'd date me/screw me/etc. But she's engaged to a nice guy, and while I've been aware that the boundaries in our friendship were too blurry and it's probably not healthy for me to let her tell me how she'd fuck me if she was queer, I've always believed firmly that I had NO chance.
I've HOPED, yes. But never BELIEVED that I had a chance.
Then, this past weekend, she got drunk and tried REPEATEDLY to make out with me. She kept kissing me, despite me pushing her away, and tried to remove my shirt.
I know this might seem like the start of some porno for straight guys, but I'm honestly so upset. She's getting married in 3 months, and I don't know what to think. And she doesn't want to talk about it.
What was she thinking? What should I do? Was she just using me because she has cold feet about the wedding? Help! | She came on to me, I love her, but (despite plenty of previous flirting) it may have been cold feet on her part. Now I'm confused. |
t3_28mgvh | relationships | My [26M] girlfriend [28F] of six months is leaving. | I have been with my current girlfriend for six months. Everything has been great, neither of us have complaints about the relationship. When I met her initially, she moved here for school. She has been out of school for two months now. She told me her initial plans were to come here for school, then continue on (ie. move somewhere else) with whatever she planned on doing. But she met me, so she decided to stay.
Suddenly tonight, she texted me telling she has decided that she is moving away. I phoned her and we talked and this is what she told me: At the moment, she does not have a great deal going on here. It is in her best interests to move to a larger city and continue on with her career. She said can't stay here and put her life on hold for me. She needs to move and work on her career. I then asked what that meant for us, and she said she didn't know.
She asked me to put myself in her shoes. I told her I understand where she is coming from, but I wouldn't just drop her like that. I would at least consider her as we are in a relationship.
The thing is, I have been wanting to move out of my city as well, but it's taking me quite a while to find a job somewhere else. I have been wanting to move out of the city as long as I've known her and she was on board with moving. She just isn't willing to wait anymore and wants to move to work on herself/career.
She recently asked me if she could move in with me. I told her I wasn't ready. I think this may contribute to her decision to leave because she doesn't view us as a serious couple.
I am shocked because it seems like the relationship has taken a sudden twist. At the moment I'm not sure what to do. I think giving her space is a good idea. | Girlfriend has nothing going on for her in our city and needs to move to work on her career. She is willing to drop the relationship and leave. |
t3_1inb9w | relationships | Me[24M] with my soon to be fiance [21F] face a small problem when we are out with groups. | Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year now. Because of my work nature and her studies, we see each other once, twice a week max. We are going to get engaged and the married as soon as she finishes her university. Since we dont see each other a lot, we always prefer privates dates with no one around from my friends or her friends. The problem arises when we are out with our friends or other mixed groups when we both have vacations and spend time with other people. Now I didnt notice this, but later she told me that she hates the way I treat her around other people. She says that I ignore her and it seems like we are not a couple and every single time we are out with people she feels that way. Now I asked my close friends if they noticed anything and they say that everything looks normal. To clarify the issue, my girlfriend is a listener, she is not a story teller and even when we are out alone I am mostly talking and she is listening and giving me her opinion. I first though that she is not talking in our outings because she is just listening but as I said later I found out that she is annoyed by this and I need to show her much attention and get her into the discussion rather than leaving her listening. Its not that I am ignoring her or anything but I am the type of person that talks all the times in groups outing and I speak to whoever is talking to me. Now what shall I do to counter this issue ? as I said we rarely go out with other people and sometimes I dont know how to act or what to do around in front of them, but its summer time now and we are both having vacations and we will soon start going out with other people and I dont want her to left out or ignored. | girlfriend thinks I am ignoring her when we are out with other people because I dont talk to her as much. She is a listener type of people so I dont know how to get her in a conversation if she prefers to listens. |
t3_1vac4u | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex GF [21 F] broke up 2 and a half years ago after a relationship of 3 years... I still seek closure even though I'm now with someone else, is this wrong? | It was my first experience of love but we ended up breaking up very quickly after the first month she moved to university in 2011.
I had a fear she was going to break up with me at the time. One day she asked me to fix her laptop for her and I decided to write stupid statuses on her facebook while she was still logged in. Then a chat window appeared from her friend and I read how she (my ex) said she felt bad that her and all of my friends had went to university and I was left behind, and that this was the only thing making her feel guilty about being single again. After reading that I became full of emotion, I felt like i was stupid for loving her and I broke up with her a few days later over the phone saying that I didn't want to hold her back (but mentioning that i read a private chat she had with her friend on her facebook).
In the following year I was very low-key about how hurt I was. It wasn't until a year ago that I formed my first new relationship since then (that I am currently still in).
The reason that I feel like I need closure is that I think my previous relationship experience is preventing me from loving the person I am with now (or anyone else for that matter). I feel jaded and unexcited by anything in a relationship that used to excite me.
Should I clear up exactly why i broke up with my ex? | bad ending with ex of three years is stopping me from loving anyone else because now I am afraid of getting hurt again. |
t3_1hzgat | relationship_advice | I'm [m 20] in love with my best friend [f 19] and she knows it | One of my best friends is a girl I met in college. We have become practically inseparable. For the majority of the time I was aware that she was attractive but I didn't think of her as anything more than a friend. At some point I realized that I had developed extremely strong feelings for her. I didn't want this to ruin one of the best friendships I have ever had so I found the courage to talk to her about it. I told her how I felt and that I didn't think it would be a good idea for us to get together because it could be weird and I wanted her to know that I really valued her friendship. I knew that if I didn't tell her, she would have figured it out sooner or later.
At the time, I meant what I said. But as time passed I realized how much I really wanted us to be together. We have so much in common and we have so much fun together and we have been so open with each other that it honestly feels like we are in a relationship just without any of the physical stuff. She has been very understanding, yet I feel guilty when I talk to her about it because I hate the idea that I may be making her uncomfortable or in any way bothered. SHe has been amazing throughout. But she still believes that it would not be smart for us to get together. I cannot think about her without feeling the desire to be with her. It is really hard for me to think about it because I would rather that I didn't feel this way because I'm worried that it may ruin our friendship.
I don't know what to do. To stop being friends or seeing each other less is not an option. But at the same time I am practically torturing myself because of that. Even though I don't want to be, I am in love with her and I know that nothing will ever happen. Is there anything I can possibly do? To get to any resolution? I honestly just want to figure out something. | In love with best friend, she knows it and is totally cool. don't want to be in love with her because complications. what do |
t3_3cz8j0 | tifu | TIFU by going to the office. | Well this just came to a head and I'm embarrassed and all around disappointed in myself...
Today, I decided to go to the office and work a couple of hours in order to catch up on a few things I wasn't able to get done this week. Naturally I made a small pot of coffee before hopping on the computer and getting to it. A few hours later everything's done so I head home to help my SO with dinner, kids, and general house stuff, I figured my day was over.... NOPE.
Well, while I'm painting our kitchen (remodeling is hell!) I have an epiphany, I never turned off the coffee pot at the office! I jump up grab my keys a head that way. I make it in the door and turn to the kitchen to see that the pot had already burst into tiny pieces and next thing I know the security alarm is going off.
So I call the local PD and let them know the situation, they tell me to call the security company. So I call the company, and now they basically tell me that they don't believe I am an employee at this location and are sending the police. FUCKING GREAT!
The police show up and have a nice chuckle once I explain the situation and then proceed to tell me that they have to call my boss to inform him of the incident and also to let him know there is a fine of $100 for coming out and conducting a security check.
I have a meeting Monday morning with my boss, either I will have $100 withheld from my check to cover the fine and/or I will no longer allowed to make coffee. | I left the coffee pot on a work while it was empty realized it hours later and it resulted in the police showing up to my office building and a meeting with my boss first thing Monday morning. |
t3_nvq8l | loseit | [HELP] In college, need diet advice | Here's the situation. About 7 years ago (I was 14 at the time), my entire family went on a low-carb diet and I went from about 240 pounds to 170 (38 pant size). Realizing that eating low-carb was entirely unsustainable long-term, my family fell off and over the last few years, I've gotten back up to about 280 pounds, 42 pant size.
I'd really like to get that weight back off and get back to a normal weight about 190-200 lbs, 38" waist. However, I am attending a college that requires I get a meal plan, so I have to eat there. I don't really have the extra money to pay for a ton of extra meals/snacks/etc. once that is paid for.
**So here's the question:** How does one eat healthy in a college environment? I do pretty well making time to work out, but my real issue is eating well. It's a struggle in the buffet-style and fast-food-style environments my school offers. I also need filling options for when I have to go a while between meals. | In college, want to drop 80 pounds, wondering how to eat well on a school meal plan w/ limited veggie and fruit options. |
t3_for6d | AskReddit | Neighbors harassing my parents. What would you do? | For the past few years there has been a feud between my parents neighbors across the street, my step dad's brother who lives up the street, and another neighbor next door to my parents, and my step dad. The across the street neighbor (we will call Kevin), step dad's brother (Buzz) and the other neighbor (we will call Lester.) All parties are 50+
Buzz caught K's wife stealing out of my mom's garden, started the fight. Lester hangs out with all three people and makes shit up and starts fights among all of them.
K has been known to call the cops on Step dad for nothing (things like getting grass clippings in his driveway and flipping him the bird.)
K has shot things in my parents carport with his bb gun, and supposedly poisons neighborhood animals. Most recently he has dumped my parents trash can out in the driveway. Once yesterday while it was out for pick up, then today since it couldn't get picked up while it was all over the driveway. They put the full trash by the carport and came home to it pulled to the road and dumped out again.
This is assumed that it is him, no one saw him do it, but he is the only person in the neighborhood that has a problem with my parents.
What would be the best course of action? | Parent's neighbor is constantly harassing them and vandalizing their property. There is no definite evidence of who is doing it, but they know the guy that is. What should we do? |
t3_zkzif | AskReddit | What should I do about the evangelizing cows that come into the strip club where I work, offering/insisting that they pray for us? | I work at a strip club in the bible belt. For the last several nights, these homely, large women have been coming in with baked goods and hand-written condescending place cards advertising the name of their ministry and offering a "way out". I asked my friend and now boss M-- what this was all about. She explained that the owner of this club (and nearly 20 others throughout the city) allowed it because, and I quote, "Strawberry was struck by lightening three times and is now part of their ministry". I'll go ahead and make the logical leap that Strawberry was one of his main girls. I guffawed when M-- told me this, as she too has no interest in these women and their rather invasive approach.
To the problem: While I was getting ready for the night, one of the bible thumpers approached me. I managed to shew her off, but her partner, a dull-eyed Peggy Hillesque dimwit, came over and barraged me with inane questions such as "What's your name?", "Do you have an education?", "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior?" None of which I answered. I eventually said, "your friend's ham-handed attempts at proselytism have already failed." At which point her jaw went slack and she confessed that she didn't know that word..but she knew the word prostitute.
To be honest, this response set me into a rage which I had to take, stifled to the dance floor. +1 for the Xtians. I know I'll be seeing them again, soon. Reddit, please arm me, as I'm so angry I cannot see straight. | What clever/scathing/nonsensical thing can I say to these evangelicals that have found their way into the dressing room of the strip club where I work? |
t3_21tqgv | AskDocs | Milky discharge from single breast. Who should I talk to for answers? | 21, Female, 210lbs, Causacian from Australia.
3 Months ago, I started to notice a milky discharge from my left breast. it started squirting out after I was exposed to the sound of young children crying and laughing.
Squeezing the right breast resulted in a single drop of clear, watery discharge.
At the time I had Implanon NXT inserted in my left arm, it was my 8th month with the implant.
I had the Implant removed 4 weeks after discharge appeared.
It has been 4 weeks since the removal and discharge is still present in the left breast. However the right breast has dried up, I can't get anything from it.
I had an ultrasound on both breasts by BreastScreen Australia, and had a blood test taken by an endocrinologist to check my hormone levels. Both tests were normal. I was told to just learn to cope with it.
Its painful, Its embarrassing, Its making me hate my breasts. I live next to a daycare so I am constantly exposed to crying children and I'm constantly leaking. (approx 20-50ml of milky liquid comes out each time, up to 3 times per day, it takes 5-10 minutes to come out, it just drips like a leaky tap)
I do not touch my breasts because I know stimulation makes lactation worse, if this even is a form of lactation.
I have had my breasts bound and have been taking Epsom salts as instructed by a midwife. I am stopping the salts today as it has been 2 weeks, and its unsafe to continue.
I have never been pregnant. I am currently not pregnant. I have been diagnosed with PFD and Fibromyalgia. I am currently not on any medication (bar the salts). I have had a pelvic ultrasound and laproscopic test within the last 2 months, those were also normal.
What kind of specialist should I see? Who should I talk to and what should I enquire about? | left breast producing milky discharge when exposed to crying children. No current medication. Breast untrasound and hormone levels normal. |
t3_hvkj8 | personalfinance | Identity may have been stolen? | Hello, /r/personalfinance I have a quick question. I was in the process of attempting to get my credit reports from annualcreditreport.com and was asked to select my personal information from a mulitple choice style question page. The only problem is, non of the answers applied to me. I selected "Other" on all of the questions for all 3 agencies and got webpages that said that I had provided incorrect information. I am wondering if this means that there is some information on file for me that is not really "me" and what I would need to do to access this information to verify it. As it stands, I should have no credit at all right now as I have done nothing to increase it, e.g. no loans, no credit cards, I always pay with cash or my debit card.
I'll be graduating this fall and would rather not have someone running around out there with my identity keeping me from getting a house or a car. | someone may have been using my identity and I would like to know how I can see and verify the information that credit agencies have on file for me. |
t3_1048y2 | AskReddit | Tell me reddit, what do I do? | Well, I came out as an atheist to my mother a good 6 months or so, but she always thought it was teenage me trying to get attention or something like that. She never took me seriously.
My mother has always been pretty crazy. She yells at me for making little slip ups, gets pissed when I get a b+, and makes me do everything around the house every day while she does nothing. She makes me clean up after my 9 year old sister, who is mean to me, but gets away with it. She says she's just a little girl, who shouldn't have to clean or have chores, and I get all the work.
But now that I came out as atheist, she's been even worse. She calls me a pig and a horrible child, says I do no work, is always mad at me, and says im rude and disgusting, when I do nothing to her. She never lets anyone share their opinion, and she thinks she's always right. She says "the reason you're so disgusting is because you don't believe in god." she thinks shes so smart because she read a psychology book and watches dr. Phil. My dad devorced her for this reason, I see him on the weekends, but that's only a little break. Speaking of my father, she says im terrible because im just like him, even though my father never wronged her, and hes a good guy. I dont see why she hates me because me and him are a bit alike. What's a fifteen year old going to do when he can't even go to a friends house because his mom won't drive him because it's too far to walk. I don't get any breaks. Sorry for the wall of text. I just don't know what to do.
I know this has a lot to do with athesisim, but it's more about her behavior in general, so I thought I'd post it here. Excuse me if I'm wrong. Sorry if my writing doesn't make sense right now, or if I have misspelled something. I'm just a little mad right now. I'd appreciate your opinion reddit, if you have time to spare. | Mother hates her son because hes like his father, overworks him, mistreats him, and he doesn't have the same beliefs as her. Help. |
t3_1ac9e7 | pettyrevenge | Bookstore owner tried to rip me off, friends get some revenge. | Long post but worth the read...!
This story takes place at the end of 2011 when I had just finished High School. In Australia, we have a tradition called "Schoolies" where high school grads go away (mostly to the beach) and drink/party for days on end. Needless to say, lots of locals don't like the schoolies kids coming to their towns because of the noise, etc.
They ark up prices of alcohol ($94 for a slab of jack daniels, but that's another story...)
My friends and I went to a mate's beach house and were staying there for a week. This was in a small town of maybe 1000 people.
On the second day, I went for a walk alone along the main road, which had all the local shops. I went inside the bookshop, which looked like it hadn't seen many customers recently. Eventually found a book, it was $5.95. "Great! I'll buy it."
When I got to the counter, the guy was really chatty. In hindsight... too chatty. Trying to distract me from the transaction itself. When he handed me the eftpos machine to pay, he had his hand covering the $ amount, but I wasn't really paying attention and typed in my 4 digit PIN and completed the transaction. He gave me my book, and I asked for a receipt because he hadn't given me one. He said something about there not being any paper left, but I insisted and he went to get some from the back. Printed me a receipt, and I walked out the door. Got outside, happened to look down at the receipt... it says he charged my account $70.00 for the book!!
I race back inside and demand a refund. He sheepishly apologises ("you've gotta watch me sometimes" were his exact words) and I get my money back.
At this point, I walk out in a huff, and go on with the rest of my day..., but not before making a Facebook status along the lines of "I hope some drunk schoolies idiots piss in front of your shop during the night".
Have a guess what my mates did that night... | Bookstore owner tries to rip me off when I purchase a book, mates of mine unleash the glory of a night's drinking in front of his shop. |
t3_282uz6 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my LDR BF [21 M] of one year, He's very depressed and nothing I do helps. Should I let him go? | Me [22 F] and my boyfriend [21 M] have been in a LDR for one year. We had a plan to both graduate by next summer and then I would move across the country and we would get married.
Without going into details, something very traumatic happened early in our relationship. He and I are basically the only two people who know about this traumatic event. I've tried to be really supportive, but I think he's sinking into a deep depression.
He always tells me that he's sad and lonely and that no matter what he feels empty. He says he feels restless all the time about everything. He quit his hobbies. He told me he was "contemplating death." And the other day he told me that he's going to quit school for a while.
When he told me he was quitting school he asked me to drop everything and move to be with him. I said no and asked repeatedly for one more year. I said I wanted to finish school and tell my family and my friends. I asked him to move here for a year while I finish school so we could be together, then next summer we could move back to his home state. He rejected my proposal for no apparent reason. He just said it was ridiculous.
The more I tried to reason with him the more mad he got. He said I didn't love him and a lot of other mean things. I told that I was worried about him hurting himself (as I've said for about a month now). The last thing he said to me last night was that he wanted me to go away forever. We haven't talked since then and I think we broke up.
I'm devestated. As much as I want to be sad or mad I can't because he's still my best friend and I'm so worried.
I love him, but I think he's making unhealthy decisions right now. Nothing I say can convince him that he's loved by me. Should I let him go or try to get him back? I know for a fact that he's going to be alone for the next couple weeks and I'm worried he might hurt himself. | My [22 F] LDR boyfriend [21 M] may be depressed. He's making unhealthy decisions and I'm worried he might hurt himself. Nothing I do helps. Should I let him go? |
t3_1daa1b | relationship_advice | (24/f) Love but not in love with bf (23/m) of 2 yrs | My bf is a great guy but I don't think I'm in love with him. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I also don't want to lead him on when I don't think this is going anywhere. I don't want to have sex with him anymore, it just doesn't interest me.
I was in love with someone else before and I've never felt the same way about my bf. He is my first bf. I don't want to spend my life wondering if I could've been happier or could've done better. We've been dating 2 years and I've been waiting and waiting to see if the feeling would come for me, but it hasn't.
I feel like we don't connect enough emotionally. I'm not emotionally satisfied. I find myself getting annoyed with him a lot. We fight over dumb things but he just won't let me break up with him. We have had a lot of good times and have a lot of personality factors in common, just few common interests. Should I keep trying? I've tried talking to him about it but nothing changes. I think he's in love with me and that's why he won't let go, but I just don't feel in love with him. I do love him and care about him. Am I expecting too much out of a relationship? Neither of us has ever said "I love you," I think maybe he's afraid I won't say it back. | love but not in love with bf, who seems to be in love with me. I'm not satisfied with relationship but don't know if I'm expecting too much. |
t3_2024sd | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [21 F] of 5 years having problems sleeping in the same bed due to me having night terrors. | This doesn't happen every night, but I have no way of predicting when it will happen. Some nights are just fine and we can sleep no problem, but some nights are a different story. In most cases, I don't recall the episodes and she tells me that I wake up screaming really loudly and when she tries to calm me down I have no idea whats going on and then go back to sleep.
A few times I have remembered episodes. The worst being rolling over in sleep and seeing a black, shadowy figure instead of my SO and I remember hitting it and screaming. Well in reality, I hit and was screaming at my SO which obviously freaked her out. Luckily, no damage was done but I get sick just thinking about that. I don't want to cause harm to my SO.
I have talked to her about it, and I've though about going into the doctor but neither of us know what they can do. She has stated if I fall asleep first she takes precautions in case I have an episode, she looks to me for protection, she shouldn't be protecting herself from me. She knows I can't control it, and trust me, causing any sort of harm to her is the last thing in the Universe I want.
I don't know where else to turn. Should I go in? Have any of you had troubles with this or something similar? I just want to fall asleep knowing I'm not going to disrupt her sleep or cause any harm. | Disrupting my SO during sleep due to my night terrors, need to find a solution so we can sleep in peace |
t3_2219au | relationships | Boyfriend [27m] told me I don't deserve love because I don't love myself [28f] | I can't say he's wrong, I've suffered a lifetime of crushing depression and anxiety (I am seeing people and have a long history of seeing people)
He seems attracted to women who are in love with themselves (think selfie narcissists) and I'm the exact opposite.
Is this relationship salvageable? Does he even have a good point? I'm not arguing that it's fine to be miserable with somebody that is miserable, but I can't help but feel even more hurt and feel hopeless by his words, and that I'll never be like those other girls he's into. I can't tell if I'm being emotionally abused. I need help. | boyfriend doesn't want to be with me because I'm sad and depressed but he makes it worse by his hurtful words |
t3_or415 | AskReddit | I was just scammed by an in-call erotic massage provider. Any tips for the future? | Hey Reddit,
I'm in a big US city and I just answered an ad on backpage.com for an erotic massage. The girl who came wasn't the girl in the picture - looked similar but definitely less attractive. Strike 1, but ok, she's here, curvy, and is going to get naked with me. We we agreed on $150 for 60 mins nude massage and a happy ending. She asks me to pay up front, and I thought that was OK, cause what if I don't have the money, right? She starts jacking me off after only about 10 minutes, and I asked to save that for the end. Told her repeatedly to slow down, and she kept going. Finishes me, throws me a towel, uses the bathroom, gets dressed, and leaves after 20 minutes.
Any tips? Or any ways to find reputable people/places in the US?
Next time I'll only pay half up front and make sure we agree on everything before starting.
My first erotic massage was in Europe, was EUR 65 for 60 mins, was in a classy establishment with a hot girl who was very nice and attentive. She continued to massage me after I came, cleaned me up, and treated me very respectfully. It was a good experience and I'd go back.
I'm an average good looking guy with not a ton of relationship/sexual experience, classy, a little nerdy, with more than a few "perfect 10" female friends who friend-zone me. If that matters at all. | I was horny and I called this girl for a nude massage & happy ending. She wasn't the girl in the pic, took the money up front, & only did 20 mins though we agreed on 60. |
t3_10jl3m | relationships | 1 month in and I [F22] already have doubts about him [M24]. | I've been seeing this guy for about a month and I've recently discovered some things about him that I do not like:
>He doesn't want to have kids
>He doesn't exercise
>He doesn't think cultural traditions are important
>He lasts maybe 30 seconds for sex
Now I know we haven't been dating for that long but I feel like if I am in a serious relationship with this guy, eventually a lot of these issues will be a bigger problem. I have brought up the sex issues with him and he doesn't seem very responsive to working on it. I also pointed out that exercise might help with the issue but he claims he doesn't have enough time to do that. Personal health is very important to me, I try to work out at least 3 times a week and I make sure to eat healthy. He lives on his own and doesn't ever cook! Cultural traditions are also important to me because they are also family traditions. things such as holidays, special meals, learning the language and being proud of where your family comes from is something I hold dear, but he shrugs it off as nationalism that is harmful to society. Not wanting kids is not an issue at the moment, but I wonder, why waste my time with a guy that wouldn't want that kind of future? Would we get along? Don't get me wrong, he is a very kind, caring and intelligent person that I enjoy being with but I can't seem to ignore these things.
So basically my question is: Are these deal breakers in a relationship? Should I end it now before it gets too serious? | Boyfriend doesn't share the same beliefs as me that don't seem possible to work out, should I break it up now before it gets serious? |
t3_1xiajq | relationship_advice | I (19/M) have a crush on a coworker. Need advice. | Hey guys,
So I recently begun working at a small club/entertainment center and while being interviewed a few weeks ago a girl was also interviewed with me. I didn't really notice her much at first but after I got the job and began working I noticed her and begun to form a crush for her. I don't know if its just me but every time I'm running around working she looks at me and if I look towards her direction she turns her head, I too do the same. I've talked to her a few times but nothing more than the casual, "how are you?" I'm not sure how old she is or anything other than her name. The other day while working I saw she got off early and she stayed around to listen to the music but she stood right by the door I always come in and out of. I stopped and talked to her for a second but was so busy I had to keep moving. Later I saw her again by the front door just standing there alone and again talked to her for a brief moment then my manager asked me to do something so I had to move on. Its also hard to talk to her before/after work since I work longer than she does (I do back house, she's a hostess) and where we work is only open on days events are scheduled. What do I do? Ask her out for coffee or something? | crush on girl at work, talked a few times but nothing past casual talking (ie how are you), dont know if I should ask her out to do something. |
t3_hghwl | AskReddit | Overheard someone say "I want to shoot" the President of the United States and didn't say anything. The threat was non-credible- so am I wrong to feel guilty? | My girlfriend and I were at Starbucks today in a wealthy suburb close to where we live. After ordering we sat down next to a table occupied by two wealthy-looking middle-aged women having coffee. We were talking about something trivial when I overheard one of the women next to us mention "Obama" and the other respond with "...well, I want to shoot him... I probably shouldn't say that in public, but..." It wasn't a joke per se, but wasn't said seriously. Still, I froze and lost my train of thought. I tried to keep listening and caught something about his speech on the Middle East and the "horrible" things he said about Israel. (Don't want to make this into an Israel/Palestine thing, just trying to provide context.)
I felt like I should have said something, but I just couldn't. Obviously these two rich women from suburban Milwaukee aren't conspiring against the president, nor would they pose any meaningful threat if they were. And they have just as much of a right to their opinion as anyone else. Yet I was seriously taken aback to hear adults talking about killing the president in such a cavalier manner and have been thinking about it constantly since it happened, feeling guilty for not offering a piece of my mind.
I want to think that I would have felt the same revulsion if it had been 2006 and I heard people talking about wanting to shoot George Bush, but maybe this is just my inner liberal sissy talking. Am I foolish for even giving this a second thought? Or should I feel guilty for not telling them to take their disgusting conversation somewhere else? | Heard two women talking (unseriously, from how it sounded) about wanting to shoot Barack Obama over his stance on Israel and didn't say anything. Should I feel guilty or am I overreacting? |
t3_43swoa | relationships | My [22M] Girlfriend [20F] of 1 year is leaving me feeing like a last resort. Not sure what to do. | So some important things to note here is that this is a Long Distance relationship (Ireland - Nevada) and this has only been a problem for a little over a week now.
I want to tread carefully here as a I really love and care about her allot but at the same time I need to feel like I have a person who enjoys spending any time with me not just time when there is nobody else around.
I don't have an issue with her spending time with friends but I do have an issue when what was supposed to be a 2 hour or so meetup turns into almost an entire day with no contact. Especially when I have gone out of my way to make myself available by staying up or waiting around / not talking to friends only to be left disappointed.
One person suggested the issue might be I make myself to available and I should act a bit aloof for a while but I don't feel comfortable doing as its not who I am and it feels childish.
Another option suggested to me is just to stop spending time with her when her friends are not available. For example if I were to say if it got past X o'clock at night then I wouldn't answer any calls. I feel like this would be punishing her for hanging out with friends and punishing myself by not ever getting to spend time with her though.
The only other option I can see is just to sit on it for a while and pretend it doesn't bother me which doesn't seem like a great option either.
I am not very experienced with relationships so maybe there is another option that I have missed and if so please let me know but if anyone has experienced something similar please let me know what you did and how it turned out or what you think I should do.
Thanks for reading. | Girlfriend has recently only been spending time with me when her friends are unavailable, unsure what to do if it continues or what to do about it now. |
t3_26bjvq | relationships | My mom [55F] put me in debt [24M]. Now she's inherited 250k USD but wont pay me back. | I'll keep myself short.
First my mom faked my name and gave me a debt. I confronted her and she promised she would pay me back once she ever got any money. That was 5 years ago.
About 1,5 years ago she called me and cried because she couldnt find an appartment alone. She begged me to co-sign the lease and I did.
After 8 months she stopped paying rent. Left town, didnt return my phone calls, I got to pay 4 months rent, damages to the appartment and empty the appartment (Had to spend a whole day there doing alot of stuff. Rent a storage and stuff) and when I got mad at her she told me to delete her number. We made up abit but we kinda stopped talking.
Later our grandma died. We started talking and stuff. She inherited 250k USD and she promised to pay me back. She also keep on saying all the time that our grandma would of wanted her to help us kids out with money.
However, she's had the money now for 3 weeks. And all I've recived is 100 USD (not even close to what she put me in debt for).
We have started to talk alot recently, mostly because I am trying to help her place her money in a proper manner and not spend it all at the same time. At the same time I kinda want the money she's owe me.. but I feel greedy asking her about it. Like I only talk to her because I want my money. Thats not the case tho, sure I want my money but I also want to help her out so she does not end up even worse once the money is gone.
So what should I do? Should I feel guilty like I do and how can I get her to pay me back?
NOTE: My mom has never worked a day in her life sínce she was 25. Always been on wellfare and never owned more than 1500 usd at the same time. Now she has alot of money and I fear that she will spend it all within a year.. thats why I want to help her. | My mom put me in heavy debt, now she has money but aint paying me back. Im feeling guilty because I want to ask her for the money and dont know how to handle the situation really. |
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