id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_4zdsy4 | relationships | I'm [25F] trying to be a wingman for my good friend [M39] and can't come up with ideas other than bars. Help? | Almost two years ago I moved to a new city and making friends was really hard because I'm not a big fan of bar/club culture. I ended up stumbling upon an awesome group of people who play strategy board games and now that's where most of my friends are from in this city.
I've really bonded with one friend and he's kind of my rock when I'm feeling anxious/doubting myself in my own relationship. When I texted him at 3 am to say that I was having a midlife crisis, he didn't tell me I was silly, he genuinely helped me. When one of my clients died, he supported me. We'd never date due to compatibility and age differences/in different places in our lives, but he's one of my closest friends.
He has a lot of anxiety that he's received treatment for, and he's genuinely an introvert. He really wants to date (and if nothing else, I know that he hasn't been laid in a year...but he doesn't like random hookups) and eventually wants to get married. He has tried online dating and didn't really have any success. Board gaming isn't the best place to date ladies (I'm definitely in a minority, and there's an element of "don't mess up the group by chasing after the couple of women who come around.")
I don't have many female friends in this city, between working in a male dominated field and a male dominated main hobby. However, I want to try and take my friend out and try to help him meet women. He's ok with some bars (active in some sports bars/tailgating) but wouldn't go clubbing. Other ideas on where we could go/things we could do in order to help him/both of us meet new people? I'm a classic extrovert so I don't mind things where I need to be a bit outgoing. | I have a good friend who needs help getting out of his comfort zone and trying to date ladies. I have no idea where to take him / where to start trying to meet women beyond bars/clubs. Help? |
t3_1qjpr9 | relationships | I [31F] need to make things right with my 34M BF of 13 Months. What can I do to make it right? | I want to avoid the inevitable debate about the circumstances and go straight to the advice, so I will summarize with this: I recently made a huge mistake of lying to my boyfriend about something I didnt need to lie about and should've just been open about. Assuming I deserve to be forgiven, what can I say to let my BF know that I am completely committed to him and that I am worthy of his trust?
To clarify, I'm not looking to use someone else's words-obviously this message needs to be from the heart. But I worry that saying the same cliche- "It wont happen again" line isnt enough and I'm not that great at expressing my emotions.
What has your SO said after screwing up that made you believe that he/she really was sorry and that it wont happen again? | Because I lied, I need to express to my BF that I am committed and worthy of his trust. What can I do/say to right this? |
t3_1wiscn | relationships | I 27/M cheated on my wife 28/F last night. I highly doubt she will find out unless I tell her. Should I tell her? | I met a girl at a party like 3 days ago. We messaged each other and finally I came over to her place. We went out to eat, walked around for a bit, then came home. Then we kissed, and then we had sex. I liked it a lot. Oh, and I used a condom.
My wife lives in another country right now for work, she's been gone for two months and won't be back for several more. The girl I had sex with doesn't know I'm married, and I don't think she'll find out since she doesn't know any of my friends or anything. She doesn't even know my real name, because I use a nickname. She is also here temporarily, and will be returning to her home country in a few months time. I don't think there is much evidence that my wife could find that I cheated. It seems like I'm totally in the clear.
Should I tell my wife anyway? We'll probably get a divorce if I tell her. I really don't want a divorce. Me and my wife are really happy with each other. Compared with our friends, we're probably the happiest couple among them. We are best friends. And our sex is great, most of the time. Sometimes I still feel bored having sex with the same person, and want to try it with a different person, but I can't help feeling that way, its like part of my instincts. I just wanted to have sex, and my wife was not here, and won't be back for a long time, so I figured now was the time to try it with someone else, and I liked it. I may even do it again.
So should I tell her and dissolve my marriage? Or should I keep it a secret? What would you do if you found yourself in this situation for whatever reason? Has anyone here cheated and managed to keep it a secret from everybody? Are you still married/dating? Does the guilt eat at you or are you okay with it? | I cheated on my wife, but she'll never find out, should I tell her anyway for the sake of honesty? Or take the secret to the grave? Anyone have a similar story? |
t3_4zqvfh | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [24 F] of 18 months, needs me to get over my selfishness otherwise she will end the relationship. | Throughout the relationship I have done selfish things. For example, since I traveled for work pretty often I would stay at her apartment for the weekend and leave from there back to my workplace in a city about 4 hours away. She would buy all the food and I never contributed to the workings of her apartment even though I essentially lived there every weekend. She called me out on it and I fixed it - but the damage had been done. She felt I was taking advantage of her (obviously, I was). It was not helped by the fact that I had done a few other things of a similar magnitude which caused her to say I was taking advantage of her each time. Every single time I fixed it and felt like shit about it, but it became obvious that it was a recurring issue that would come about in some other way.
From my perspective, it was never done consciously (which is part of the reason why I think she had stayed with me for all this time). I just hadn't been in this type of situation (very serious relationship) before and I guess I really didn't think about how my actions would hurt her. It's very stupid, I know. Especially since we have talked about marriage several times. It was only now that she has talked about splitting up because she has grown frustrated because I haven't fixed that issue.
She thinks I am a selfish person. I agree with her. But I think it is my immaturity that has caused this selfish streak, which is why I think I can change. I want to work on it and fix it (and I am now realizing that it is selfish of me to have waited for her to threaten to break up with me to fix it). Because of the urgency of this, I need to fix this quickly. The question is, is therapy something I should consider? If so, what kind? If not, what should I do to improve myself so I don't end the relationship with someone who should be my wife? | My girlfriend, whom I love, has threatened to end the relationship because of my selfishness. I want to fix it - is therapy something I should consider? |
t3_3y3k4i | relationships | Me [28 M] with my now ex [27 F] 4months, she ended it because she's afraid of commitment? | 2 nights ago, I was broken up with via skype. We live about 3hrs away from each other, but that's never really been a major issue. She ended it because she claimed she had bad anxiety, and wasn't ready to go all in. She's been in bad relationships before, and wanted to back out before the same thing would happen again. But it doesn't make sense because she's said that I'm the first guy to treat her with the respect that she deserves, and the best that any guy ever has treated her. Yet she feels she isn't able to reciprocate the feelings. We also have different career paths. I work sales, and have a steady job. She just finished school, and is looking. I told her not to make me be the burden in choosing, and we can work through whether she finds one near me, or on the other side of the country. Everything seemed so perfect up until a week or 2 ago when I noticed her becoming kind of distant. I respect her enough to not force her into doing anything that she doesn't wanna do, and she knows that. I don't know what I can say or do to help her get over that hump, let me in, and work through it with her. Am I being selfish? I know it would be rough on both of us, but I'd let her drag me through hell if it meant I'd be holding her hand. | GF broke up with because she's scared, and doesn't feel she can reciprocate the feelings I have for her. |
t3_2et07e | relationships | I am an [18F],and have been with my boyfriend [18M] for one year. I love him, but recently I've been feeling sexually attracted to other guys. | Backstory: I moved from Canada to California for my senior year of high school. I had a pretty rough time switching gears for senior year out of nowhere. When my (now) boyfriend started talking to me, I latched on to him as a friend. From the beginning, I didn't feel sexually attracted to him.
Fast forward a year, and now we've been together this entire time. I love him a whole lot (as much as an 18 year old can), and can't imagine not being with him. We have had sex, but nothing I do with him makes me heart pound or my palms sweaty. I haven't told him about this, which I probably should.
I recently got a new co-worker who is super cute, and as part of our job we do patrols around our work area with a partner. We talk easily with each other and get along, so we partnered up. However, I started feeling sexually attracted to him, and I know he feels the same way towards me. I want that spark and that attraction I feel with him.
I don't know what this means about my relationship with my boyfriend. Should I not be with him? Is it natural to still feel attracted to other people? This is my first relationship so I feel very confused.
I need some advice from more experienced Redditors! | I have been with my boyfriend for a year, but have never felt sexually attracted to him. I now feel sexually attracted to one of my coworkers, and am very confused. |
t3_1d5sav | relationships | My[22M] housemate[21F] has a problem with my girlfriend[24F] and doesn't want her in the house | Some background to the issue first. Myself[22M], my housemate[21F], her boyfriend[23M] + another guy who's not really involved have been living together for about a year. Housemate and boyfriend have been together about 3 years. Recently they broke up but stayed amicable and kept living in the house together. The only difference in the relationship is that she now sleeps in her own bed and they don't have sex (I assume). While rebounding, the boyfriend repeatedly attempted to get together with this other girl[24F], a mutual friend of all of us who would soon become my new girlfriend. She had to turn him down several times before he really got the message. At one point he kissed her before she recoiled from him. This seriously angered her and he finally got the message as she was berating him for it. Housemate and boyfriend were close to getting back together until she found out about this. Now, housemate almost completely blames girlfriend for this and has essentially banned girlfriend from the house. I feel I should make it clear that he was in no way being led on, she made it clear she had no interest in him several times yet housemate is refusing to place blame on her pseudo-boyfriend and instead is aiming all her anger at girlfriend.
While all this is happening, I find out that girlfriend has a crush on me, I talk to her about it, and we start dating pretty much as soon as housemate's boyfriend backs off.
My issue is that I want the freedom to hang out with my new girlfriend in the comfort of my own home. Housemate riles up at the mere thought of her and has no interest in talking it out. I've tried talking about it with housemate but she just isn't budging. And going to girlfriends house isn't an option.
How can I get my housemate to back off and let me enjoy the company of my new girlfriend in or outside of my own home? | Housemate doesn't want my new girlfriend in the house because her (sort of ex) boyfriend had/has a thing for her |
t3_4q9k9a | personalfinance | Budgeting Epiphany | I just realized why I'm always over-spending my budget.
A little background - I work in finance and have built a thorough budgeting sheet for my personal finances. Every month, I know exactly what I have coming in, what I've spent historically for that month, what my regular bills are, any anticipated expenses, etc... This file has been maintained for years and is full of great data.
So I'm looking at it today and notice I'm within $20 of my discretionary budget. I go "oh shit, how does that happen??" Last month I raised my monthly spending budget, and I'm still left with only $20 and 3 more days in the month. This leaves me perplexed, frustrated, and disappointed.
Literally 20 minutes later I'm looking at my work calendar and realize I have Friday off to go away for the July 4th weekend. I told my gf I would get an air mattress for the trip, so I start browsing Amazon Prime. Top selling air mattress is $50. The top rated one is $120. I start rationalizing why the $120 one is a good investment. Then I buy it.
It's not until this very minute, 2 hours later, that I realize I only had $20 left in my discretionary budget. It never even crossed my mind the whole time I was browsing Amazon. I've been relying on consistent spreadsheet budgeting, prior trends, and historical data to make me stay within my spending budget. Now I realize I have to change my purchasing behavior rather than put numbers into a computer if I ever want to be truly responsible with my finances.
And yes, I know this seems obvious. But I was tricking myself into thinking the number I put into the budget was representative of my self control - "I'll only spend $1000 next month". But there was not personal accountability to actually staying within the established limits, which is what really matters. | Been relying on complicated budgeting practices and spreadsheets to control spending, when the problem was self control this whole time. |
t3_3ljfid | relationships | My [28 M] Girlfriend[25f] has a much more active social life. It is starting to worry me. | So I got together with this girl a little over a month ago and it is been going pretty amazing so far. She is still a student while I graduated in 2013 and have been working in another part of my country after that. In the beginning of this year I moved back to my home city for a new job.
I always had only a few friends but rather close ones but after studying in another city and working in a different part of the country I had to realize that I don't have much social contacts left after moving back.
My Girlfriend on the other hand seems like a social butterfly who has a lot of university friends and keeps in touch with her old high school friends.
I can't complain tough, in the last month we have seen us almost everyday and she even cancelled plans with some friends to be with me (didn't know about that until afterwards) but this weekend she is house/dog sitting for her mother and she is meeting up with all kind of people, going to a party of a close friend which made me realize that I still don't have pretty much nothing going on when she is not around.
I'm trying to meet and connect with new people but that never came easy for me.
So my worry is, will she judge me for this? Also I don't want to get to dependent on her. I realize that I need my own social circle.
A perspective from a female person would be great. | Girlfriend of one month is a social butterfly with a huge social circle. I on the other hand have only little social contacts after moving back to my home city. Will she judge me for this? Will it create problems? |
t3_2lopyd | tifu | TIFU by flooding my work bathroom with poop water. | I should have taken a shit before work, but for some reason I never have to go until I get to work. I didn't even have time to put down my belongings at my desk, I literally just went straight to the shitter and dropped a huge turd with a fellow coworker in the stall next to me. What happened next will haunt my dreams forever. The toilet's water pressure is bad enough as it is, and combine that with a huge turd and mass amounts of toilet paper I tried to flush. It clogged badly (with no plunger in sight) and water from the toilet started overflowing onto the floor. All of this is happening while a coworker is in the stall next to me, also being forced to wade in my shit water. The coworker yells loudly and quickly exits the bathroom yelling a bunch of profanities. Mortified, I devise a plan to get back to my desk so no one will see who was responsible for this mess. As soon as I exit the bathroom, a custodian and at least 5 coworkers are standing outside wondering what the hell happened. I tried to play it off like it wasn't my fault, but I know deep down that I did wrong. I'm too embarrassed to even show my face at work tomorrow. | Took a monster dump, clogged my work toilet and flooded bathroom with a coworker in the stall next to me. |
t3_3degaz | tifu | TIFU - by not knowing what fisting meant. | this happened years ago but hey i recently joined reddit. I was around 15 and new to America so I was quite unfamiliar with sexual references and American slangs. In my class we were actually discussing public transport problems relating to young people not giving up their seat for the older travelers.
I stood up to share an anecdote which involved violence on a train which happened when an old lady started beating a young guy for not standing up for her. I proceeded to say, "to make the guy leave, the granny started 'fisting' the poor guy".....
The entire class burst out laughing and the teacher was shocked that I said that. I awkwardly asked whats so funny and that seemed to make it much worse. It was horrible given that i was new in school. I had no idea what fisting actually meant until after they told me; i thought it just meant to beat someone up. | I put the image of a granny 'fisting' a guy on a train, in everyone;s mind by accident. |
t3_fs8rq | AskReddit | Please help. My parents marriage is in trouble. Should I go home and try to help or continue living at University? | I'm 21 and currently at university living away from home. My parents marriage of over 20 years is in trouble and I don't know what to do. They've basically always had a good marriage and its only been in the last year that they've had problems, as far as i know anyway. The problem as I see it is that recently my mother has started going out with friends all the time and its leaving my dad feeling neglected. This has caused many arguments and now I think my mother has stopped loving my dad and is maybe having an affair. (I have reasons to suspect this) In a couple of months I'm going to be doing post grad studies and I'm going to have the option of either moving back home with my parents or to continue to live at University. I'd prefer to live at uni because its close to the library, would allow me to continue having a uni social life etc. Also when i go home for the holidays it's hell, the tension and the arguments are horrible. Living at home would be a lot cheaper and would maybe allow me to help their marriage. They've both said they want me home and tbh it kind of feels like that's because they cant communicate with each other any more I'm company for them, especially for my dad. My younger sister being with friends all the time mainly because of the atmosphere. I can't stand being home at the moment because of the situation but i feel so guilty about the fact that they want me home and maybe i cold help save their marriage. I don't know that being home will make it better, it might make it worse, I suppose there's always that chance that I could help. I just want some advice because this is making me so unhappy.
Thank You | Parents marriage breaking up, have the option to live at home to try and help or live away from home because of it's crappyness at the moment. |
t3_2wdxz6 | relationships | Me 23M with my girlfriend 22F of 5 years, having problem dealing with her actions during a break from the relationship | Me and her have been dating from since we we're really young (mid teens) and we were each others first. We ended up taking a break over a year ago to have an opportunity to see other people as we had been together since forever and felt (I did to be precise) it was necessary.
Eventually we figured out we made a whole bunch of sense and ended up together again which has been a great choise.
During the break I got to experince perhaps more than I was after. Dramatic 6 month relationship, multiple flings, met people and other stuff you do while single. All she did was end up sleeping twice with some guy she tells she didnt like for other but attention he gave while we werent talking at all.
Now what my problem is, I cant get over her sleeping with another man. It sound stupid even in my own head but for some unexplainable reason it bothers me greatly. I did alot worse things, I initiated the whole thing and everything was done while we werent together.
I dont know what to do and need your help getting over it. Sometimes I feel like ive gotten over it but it always comes back to bother me even after almost 6 months. I really want to get over it and to be able to fully enjoy her company. Ive talked to her about it and she told me stuff like she didnt even like it, I'm way better and she loves me. All this makes me feel better and my rational mind understands it but something is wired in my emotions to fuck me over.
The other more serious relationship i had was with a woman who had a whole lot of partners. I didnt care at all. But this one is special, she's always been the woman i love and i feel like shes tainted by another man if that makes sense.
I really want to love her to my fullest but im running out of ideas to get over something she did that i did 10 times worse. | Girlfriend slept with 1 guy during one year break, i slept with many more. Her sleeping with someone who isnt me bothers me way more than it should. Help |
t3_28eysw | relationships | Me [21 M] have made a mistake that cost me my relationship [19 F]. How do I accept this and move on? | I have made a mistake, I overreacted and ripped a happy birthday letter of a guy she used to see, that was hanging on her magnet wall right next to my happy birthday letter..
This overreaction costed me my relationship. She said I am crazy and that she doesnt want to do anything else to do with me. I, the moment I did this asked for forgiveness, snapped out of it and said I was so sorry that I did not mean to do that.
She said that it was not the fact that I ripped the letter but because my terrible jealousy issues. (Which I accept I have). And that what I did was the breaking point.
She said she does not forgive me and tells me to get out of her house. I have been trying to call her the past day, she said to leave her alone that it was over...
I then said ok, if that is what she wanted.. Expressed how sorry I was and how I really regret what I did..
What makes me awfully depressed right now, is that I seek of forgiveness and she will not give it to me. And because of my stupid mistake my relationship was ruined.
Usually, I am okay with breakups, because it is nobodies fault to loose attraction and those kind of things... what is getting me on this one is the fact that it was my fault... And I am having a really hard time with this. | I messed up (no, i did not cheat on her), which made my relationship to end. I am having a hard time dealing with this because It was my fault that it finished. |
t3_1sgbes | offmychest | Fucking fuck fuck mice | First off, don't hate mice. I HATE the fact they're in my damned place of residence and that it's 5 fucking 30 in the fucking morning and they're running around so fucking loud in my fucking bedroom that I can't fucking sleep. I hate not being able to put any fucking thing on the fucking floor without think one may shit or piss on it. I hate the fact I pay 500$ a fucking month for rent to live in a house literally infested with mice.
We found shit in all of the lower cub boards and had to take everything out.
I seen at least 10 mice since I've lived here 2 years ago. They come every winter without fail and I'm so sick of it. The amount of shit that must be in places we can't get at must be fucking insane.
I can't fucking handle hearing them scurring around, paranoid to go piss at night in case one runs out and scares the hell out of me. My landlord knew they had mice before we moved in and didn't fucking tell us. If I had known I would never have fucking moved in in the first place. This is such shit. Fuck fuck fuck. | We have mice galore, they shit in furniture, cupboards and scare the shit out of me when I hear/see them scurrying around. FUCK THIS WITH A RUBBER HOSE. |
t3_1yaj8k | relationships | My [28/F] BF of 4 years [30 M] just changed his tune about kids/marriage after I got pregnant. Is this the end? | I thought my BF and I were on track to get married and have kids. We've been together for 4 years and we've always talked about what our kids would be like, our parenting style, and he's even been dropping hints about looking for a ring.
I've always wanted to be married before bringing a child into the world, partially because I'm old-fashioned that way, and also for security. It has always been non-negotiable. Now that I'm pregnant and two long-term commitments away, my BF apparently doesn't know if he ever wants to get married or have kids.
I don't see how we can have a future anymore. I'm crazy hormonal right now so i don't even know if how I feel is real, but it feels like this relationship is over. He says he wants us to be together, and that it's possible that in the future he might want to get married, but there's just something preventing him from being okay with it. To me it sounds like he might want to get married, just not with me.
Is this relationship doomed? I feel like I already know the answer to that but the crazy hormonal part of me is saying maybe I'm wrong... help. | BF of 4 years doesn't know about marriage or kids anymore now that I'm pregnant. Does that mean we have no future? |
t3_2g1ryg | personalfinance | Young, with more money than I know how to spend. Should I open another 401k account? | Hello all,
I am currently in my mid 20's and I have an annual income of roughly 65k. Since I live with my mother and have no plans to move out (cultural thing, I'll eventually take the house and take care of her) my expenses are extremely low. I am able to save the vast majority of my paycheck. I've been putting in the max to my work 401k, but I still have a ton of money now sitting in my bank account just rotting away. Is it a good idea to open a fidelity 401k? Are there better investment options out there? If so, how much of my money should I invest?
If possible I'd also like some credit card advice to a newbie. I've recently gotten a fidelity amex, chase freedom, and amazon reward card. I've applied to chase sapphire preferred but I don't know if I'll get it. If I don't I will probably go for BoA travel rewards. Are there any cards I should look out for?
Thanks for all the help. | Make 65k/yr, could live off <10k. Is fidelity 401k worth it if I already have a work 401k that I'm maxing? |
t3_20gink | relationship_advice | [21/M] So..I may still have feelings for my ex-best friend [22/F]. | Last summer I confessed my feelings to my best female friend of 5 years. The problem - she was in love with a guy from overseas who she had met during her study abroad semester. She said they were pretty serious and they planned to marry once she acquired citizenship of US (which would take a few years). The last thing I remember her saying was her asking me where I was before in her life. She said she also had feelings for me but it was too late and that she was too emotionally attached to this guy.
Anyways, I decided it was time for me to leave, to take a break. I broke all contact with her and started self-improvement, picked up new hobbies, got busy with my career etc. I thought I was over her until today when she sends me this text - "I was passing by [some place] and it reminded me of you. I hope you are well and I miss you. How long are we not going to talk to each other?" When I read it I feel like I thought about it for a little too long and now I am not sure how to approach this. If she is still with her boyfriend from overseas I definitely do not want to bring her back in my life. But if she is not, then there is still a part of me that wants to pursue a romantic relationship with her. I don't really know how to approach this and how to reply to the text. | Lost contact with best friend after confessing my feelings for her. 1 year later she says she misses me and is asking how much longer are we not going to talk. What should I do? |
t3_qh0ui | AskReddit | What is something someone has recently done to absolutely infuriate you? | Mainly started this post to vent. Hope it helps some other people too.
My brother, 30s, well educated, makes a shit ton of money. Rather selfish and ~~somewhat~~ insensitive.
Me, 20s, fulltime student working two jobs, poor as fuck.
This happened last night. He tells me a story about his friend who is a doctor. A patient came into emerg and had injured himself someway when he was high on crack. My brother then proceeds to say something along the line of "thats the thing about doctors, they are paid well but they have to deal with some real pieces of shit."
Im not sure if he is stupid or just doesn't think before he speaks. I think it may be a combination.
What pissed me off in this is he didn't stop to think about who he was saying this to. The two jobs I work, one is at a drop in centre for homeless people. The other job is at a fucking homeless shelter for people under the influence of drugs and alcohol (I would say more than 90% of these clients are addicts). This homeless shelter is also a fucking DETOX centre. Because Im not a doctor he thinks nothing of the work I do. I am verbally abused at my job. I am in physical danger every time I work. I break up fights between grown ass homeless men (Im a girl) and have almost been attacked on two occasions, had it not been for a coworker being in the right place at the right time I definitely would have been physically assaulted on these two occasions, no doubt in my mind.
I just feel that to him if you aren't a doctor or a lawyer or something of the sort then it is ok for you to have to deal with these people. Most of these professionals deal with these people on a limited basis. People who work in the inner city deserve to be recognized as an important part of any community. Without these people things would likely be worse than they are now. | (dont blame you): Brother doesn't think before he speaks and basically tells me because Im not a doctor or professional of some kind (yet) my work in the inner city means nothing. Prick |
t3_ogikv | AskReddit | Friend cheating on boyfriend, need advice. | So last week my friend and I were out clubbing and she met a boy. He said she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and got her number and what not. They arranged a date for this Friday. Problem is, she has a boyfriend that she currently lives with. It hasn't been working out with them for a while, and they aren't intimate anymore. Despite that she is leading on her current boyfriend by not breaking up with him, she is on a date with new boy right now. She has asked me for advice and I've told her that she needs to break up with her boyfriend but she feels that she can't because it would change the dynamics of their house and make things too awkward (they live with two other people). She hasn't broken up with him, and she hasn't told new boy that she has a boyfriend but claims that she is "busy falling for" the new boy. So she's leading two guys on. On my end, my issue is that her boyfriend is my friend so I'm in a tough position. What can I do reddit? am I in a place to tell him? Basically, on her end the relationship is done but on his end they're still together and everything is fine and dandy (she still cuddles him etc.) | friend going on date with new boy despite having a boyfriend that she lives with, her boyfriend is my friend, should I tell him? |
t3_104cck | loseit | 13 and can't get into a gym, and I eat school lunch? Help me? | Hey everyone, I'm a 13 year old girl, and I have a little weight problem.
:( I am 147 pounds, and 5'3" inches tall. I want to lose weight so terribly bad! I have major issues though.
1.) I am not eligible for a gym membership.
2.) I eat school lunches.
3.) My parents won't buy me some equipment. (But they got my brother some..)
I must admit, for my physical appearance, I look to be around 125 pounds. I have been told this. I am also beginning to get stretch marks on my inner thighs and hips. I do not want to live my life with a "I'll find a chubby chaser" attitude nor a "I have more cushion for the pushing" and especially not a "Men like curves (although I'm 800 pounds)." Although men like curves, I am just focused on getting a healthier appearance and a better (more confident) life. I have very low self-esteem and I think that weight loss will make me feel beautiful. I have a hard time talking to people my age solely because I think they will notice the thousands of flaws on my body! Help me, Reddit. | I am a thirteen year old girl of 147 pounds with growing stretch marks and low self esteem who is having trouble losing weight because of age and school lunch. I want to live a good healthy life, but I need a little advice.. |
t3_3dkg8b | jobs | Doctor vs Pilot | My father comes from a rich family and is a very accomplished doctor and owns multiple clinics. He pulls in 7 figures annually and is very judgmental about "menial" jobs. Being financially secure and "free to live" is very big to him.
It's always been in my life trajectory since I was born to become a doctor. However, I just finished my 2nd year of college and my GPA is pretty crap. I've always been very smart (graduated from highschool w/ a 3.9 GPA) but I'm having a tough time in college.
I told my father I was thinking of switching my major from microbiology to math/business so I can get a degree and join the air-force.
I explained to him that it's something I've always considered and I'd love to pursue it. I figured that after 10 years in the air-force I could start flying commercially for Air Canada. and if I worked 100 hour months I could be making ~$140,000 by my 5th year and possibly ~$360,000 in 15 years (I know I'm overselling the upside) [Here's where I got the Salary Info](
He had a very violent reaction to this and kept asking me if I WANTED to be poor. He and my mother said I should aim higher (she's a psychiatrist) and I shouldn't be aiming for mediocrity.
I have four other siblings, all on their way to becoming doctors as well and my father is concerned that I'll be the pauper of the family. And after a few cusses and angry yells he said he didn't want to hear about it again.
It is my birthday in one week, and today I found out that my Dad bought me my own plane and registered me for flight school. He says I can fly for fun, he doesn't mind that. But I **WILL** finish medical school.
I'm turning 20 years old and I don't have anymore time to screw around with my future, and no window for mistakes. I'm completely lost here and don't know what to do. It's not that I don't *want* to be a doctor, its just not something I'm set on, but he says once I start med school I'd grow to love it. | My Dad thinks being a pilot is ~~menial~~ mediocre, and wants me to be a doctor like the rest of my family, but I don't know what to do. |
t3_4ycl4c | relationships | I've [28/M] been dating a guy recently [27/M] who recently disclosed to me that he is HIV+. I want to break it off for unrelated reasons. How should I go about this so he doesn't get the wrong message? | I ended a pretty serious relationship about 2 months ago. It wasn't my first serious breakup, so while it was extremely difficult, I also know it's not the end of the world and I'm moving on in a pretty straightforward manner.
A few weeks ago, I met a new guy for dinner. We had an alright time and decided to keep casually dating. There's not a super strong spark on my end, but he's nice and fun to be around, so I decided to see where it goes. Last weekend, he texted me to let me know that he was enjoying this spending time together, and that he get like I should know that he is HIV+ before things go any further (nothing sexual has happened yet). This isn't a deal breaker for me, as I've always assumed I'd run into this situation eventually and have done enough research to know that it's a relatively safe situation as long as some basic precautions are taken.
We had another date last night and I realized that I'm honestly just not feeling it, and even if I was, I'm not ready for anything serious right now, which is where this seems to be heading. I'd like to break it off with him, but I don't want him to think it's because of his status. This seems a little more delicate than a normal breakup. Has anyone been in this situation before? | New guy I'm dating recently told me he is HIV+, I want to break it off because I'm not ready for anything serious, how can I do this without him thinking I'm rejecting him over his status? |
t3_4wmc5r | legaladvice | Paying Rent at Home | So I'm currently living with my mum and her girlfriend. We live in the UK in a three bedroom council rented property.
When I finished school, I was pestered into getting a job. My mum said I should so that I could go out and do new things before I start having to work (I had guaranteed an Apprenticeship with an Electronics company at the end of the summer holidays), whereas her partner said I should so I can start paying them rent. I don't get on with her at all, and haven't done for the entirety of their 12+ years of relationship.
I replied with something along the lines of "this is my last proper holiday before I work for the rest of my life: I want to enjoy it. Besides, you can have fun without money" each time they ask me.
As soon as I start working, I pay rent. I also have to pay for my own food. I don't mind that, but on an apprenticeship wage of 700 pounds a month, and paying them 150 pounds rent, it was a stretch: At the time I was paying for my car monthly, and paying for my driving lessons (they had said they'd pay for them like they had done her partner's daughters previously, but then suddenly changed their mind and paid for my license instead), so I had perhaps 80 pound for food a month.
Fast forward a year, and I'm now on 1004 pounds a month, paying for my insurance, paying rent, and paying to keep my car on the road. No problem. I'm now 18, and I'm looking to find a place of my own with some friends.
The problem is however, that my stepmum's daughter now also has an apprenticeship, and as far as I'm concerned, doesn't pay rent or have to buy her own food.
I want to know if there is some sort of legislation that states I actually have to pay rent, as I'm still actually in full time education being in an apprenticeship, and I study at a college one day a week too?
Or are my parents taking my money simply because? | Are my parents making me pay rent because they don't like me, as another member of the household doesn't seem to be paying rent, or am I legally obliged to? |
t3_1cty6f | AskReddit | Long term or short term memory | Assume you are 70 years old. You have led a fairly normal life. Assume that if you are married, plan to be married, or really want to be married that this has occurred in your lifetime. If that isn't a big deal for you then you assume you stayed mostly on your own. You have enough money to live in retirement comfortably. You have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and there is no cure still. The doctor tells that there is a medical procedure you can take, that is low risk. They can minimize the damage by making the allowing the disease to only afflict either your short term or long term memory. If you elect to not have the surgery then the Alzheimer's will affect both. Which would you choose to keep and why? | Your old and have Alzheimer's. Have to pick short term memory to keep or long term memory, which one is it and why? |
t3_20lem0 | relationships | My boyfriend [20 M] and I [20 F] having been having a long distance relationship for 8 months, but it's starting to get difficult. | Essentially, we're both on our year abroad from university. I am very in love with him and vice versa, but I am terrible at being on my own. I get lonely very quickly but he is pretty good and dealing with lonliness, as he has never has a relationship before me (I have had 2 long ones before him).
We've started to argue because he will unintentionally ignore me, because he's busy, but because i'm so lonely it becomes really pronounced. I get mad, we argue, he gets upset and realises he's been insensitive, but then he does it again and it becomes a cycle. It's hard to make him act more aware sometimes, because mostly he's just busy, but it really hurts me and i'm alone so it's difficult to be the bigger person. What are the best ways to deal with a situation of different perspectives like this? | Long distance relationship means I get angry when he unintentionally ignores me because i'm worse at being on my own, but feel bad for making him always talk to me. |
t3_4z4854 | relationship_advice | My best friends sister | So my best friend has a little sister who's only a year younger than me (I'm 21 she's 20 next week). This summer I've been back from college and she's been hanging out with our group of friends a lot more and we've gotten quite flirty. I was going to ask her out but I'm worried it will piss off her brother (he already gets annoyed when he catches us texting or snapchatting each other) is there a way I can avoid the risk of ruining a friendship? Also how do I bring it up to her that I actually like her and its not just a jokey flirtation anymore?
Thanks in advance and sorry to any mods if I've broken a rule I'm new here | like my best mates little sister, how do I avoid pissing him off? How do I bring it up to her? |
t3_gqlt0 | AskReddit | I'm starting my "uberman" sleep schedule as of today. Give me things to do in my spare time. | For those of you who aren't familiar with the sleep schedule, here's a short explanation:
Basically, I'll have one core sleeping session from 0100 to 0400 and then two 30 minute naps from 1130 - 1200 and 1800 - 1830. A total a 4 hours. That's an additional 4 hours when compared to my old sleeping habits. During the first few days I got a few projects I want to do, but there is bound to be a point when I get bored.
So far my list consists of these things like learning to use a few Adobe products, writing poems/short stories, reading a few books, going for long walks/bike rides, catching up on school work and recording some music. | I need things to do in my spare time, since I'll be having an additional 4 hours every 24 hour cycle. |
t3_1pctlf | relationships | Me [17 M] possibly having a 'rebound' crush on a [16 F] | So for the last year I've liked this girl (girl A) at college but girl A has always told me she doesn't like me in that way but continued to 'flirt' with me. I struggled for a year on this and it once got so worse I cut my self to like try and tell her "your being too much, I can't cope with you but I really like you but don't want to upset you"; then met another girl (girl B) last week and ever since we've been texting/facebook messaging
girl A and girl B are completely out of my league but I still like/liked both of them (don't like girl A anymore, she's going our with a friend and both are being ass holes about it) and don't want a repeat of what happened with girl A to happen with girl B. girl B puts quite a few winks and stuff like that in her messages, I said I'd come find her at lunch and she said: "I bet you will ;)". Girl A and her new BF decided to text girl B with my phone whilst I was not looking at nearly ruined the "relationship" but she knew it wasn't me.
So how do I tell if girl B likes me and why? Could she just be liking me with work so I can help her with work (she's in the year below) or could she actually like me? and if so as a friend or does she want a relationship? girl B sometimes will start replying to our conversation slower and then just go offline, could that be a sign she doesn't like me or I'm being too much? I have been described as obsessive by friends and the night I met girl B I already really liked her just instantly.
I asked girl B if she wanted to go to the cinema next week and she said she would like to but indicated that a relative was coming down and that we could all go and that he would drive? am I being friend zoned already? Also when she doesn't reply for awhile I start to panic and keep checking to see if she's seen it/replied should I send another message or just leave it? | I have no idea what I'm doing but I like a new girl after liking another girl for a year and now scared the same thing will happen again. |
t3_1wjo4e | relationships | [26M] New friends with this girl [21F] who likes me - I only like her as a friend currently, how long should I wait to see if I fall for her? | I'm pretty sure this girl I have met likes me, because she keeps messaging me and complementing me. I don't currently have feelings for her more than friendship and I don't want to lead her on - but I'm also keenly aware that in the past, I have crushed on girls who have liked me but it was a year too late, or whatever.
Nothing has happened, I just have these signals but I don't know what to do with them. So far I have been chatty (happy/nice conversations) but not flirty, so kinda like new friends? We've only met once a couple of weeks ago, but no doubt see each other again soonish.
I don't want to be a jerk, but I like having someone to talk to as friends and maybe see if that changes later on? But I don't want to be a jerk. See the loop I'm in?
Thanks! | Girl likes me, I don't feel the same way, how long should I wait to see how if that changes without leading her on? |
t3_299z2x | relationship_advice | Am I (25/F) just a booty call to him (28/M)? | I met this guy on Ok Cupid... our chemistry was phenomenal and it seemed like we had "everything" in common with one another.
About three weeks in to seeing each other regularly, I "freaked out" on him. He blew me off for the third time in one week, and decided to express my feelings. I said that I felt like a booty call, that he really didn't like me, etc. I felt stupid and ashamed that I blew up on him. His response? "We just need to be friends and leave anything physical out of it."
After about a week of silence, he text me yesterday for my birthday and asked if I wanted to hang out. I get there. We chat, sitting as far away from him as I can, trying to hold my guard up. Suddenly, he grabs me and kisses me... and we had sex. I stay for a few hours, and he asks me to leave around 1 AM. Normally, I would have stayed the night... but it was as if he was pushing me out the door.
I want to ask him WTF changed his mind to not wanting to be physical, to suddenly going back on his word... but, I can't quite figure out how to go about it. | Seeing a guy for about a month, can't figure out what we "are" or if I'm just a lay to him. :/ |
t3_17w6dh | relationships | [20F] moved a thousand miles away from everything I know to be with [26M] who I now feel is letting me down. Am I being too harsh? | I [20F] am a very driven motivated person in life and want to go far - my last relationship was a bust and the guy was very controlling/manipulative, so when I met this guy who was free-spirited and fun I got excited and he said he loved me after three months of dating.
He had to move away for work (no opportunity in my small town) so he left to the big city and after long distance for three months I left job/friends/family to be with him..
So now we've been together almost a year and I found a great job with great pay and am making friends. But my SO [26M] original free spirit that I loved now bothers me. He is lazy, never cleans up after him self (I always do his laundry/clean the bathroom/make his lunches etc.) and I try to eat very healthy/work out and he doesn't seem to be on the same page. I had to lend him money just so he could live (even though he has a good job and makes twice as much as me he is very much in debt) and he doesn't seem to care to really try to pay me back or his other debt collectors/friends.
I have communicated how much it bothers me and he should maybe lower his standard of living for a little while to catch up on his bills but he simply doesn't care. He is normally very sweet/thoughtful/understanding/receptive to my feelings, but his work would pay him to go to school and he hasn't gone.. i'm trying to push him.
So now I'm thinking of breaking up with him because this is lowering my sex drive and we really aren't jiving. But I just started a life here and would hate to pick up and leave again. Am I being too harsh/nagging too much? | boyfriend [26M] is thoughtful/loving/free spirited but also lazy/in alot of debt and not working to better himself. Should I [20F] leave or let him work it out? |
t3_28c8ma | relationships | I [21 M] will see a psychiatrist about this, but I thought I'd try here for advice on commitment. | Commitment as in generally getting intimate/close to people I'm interested in.
I'm lucky enough to grab women's attention enough to be offered numbers and even asked out, but I also end up with attention from girlfriends of friends (my best friend's last two girlfriends ended up revealing feelings for me). But I have issues with commitment and intimacy stemming from legit PTSD, so it's near impossible for me to get close to women I'm interested in, simply because I'm interested in them. I'm comfortable with women I'm not interested in and that's why I become closer with them, but I do feel bad not being able to return their interest, not being able to create my own relationships, and "stealing" friends' girlfriends.
Again, I will see a psychiatrist to deal with my PTSD and intamacy/commitment issues, but anyone got any advice on handling my situations with women? | Commitment and intamacy issues stemming from PTSD, make it impossible for me to get close to the women I want, but not from getting close to women I can't have or aren't interested in. |
t3_172en2 | dating_advice | When is it okay for me to call him? | I(25F) know this seems soon to be worrying, but username says all. I went out with this very sweet, seemingly very nice guy (28) on Sunday night. We had a great time and I have never really enjoyed dating some one as much as I did that night. In fact, there were a lot of firsts and I think that I may have come off uninterested. We just went to get a glass of wine, which led to going to a local live music venue. There were many times in the venue I turned away because I knew further staring would mean kissing and I really didnt want a first kiss with him in a public venue with people everywhere. I also may ave ended the night really short - left at 9pm when neither of us worked in the morning with the excuse of being tired. I was actually exhausted. Anyways, he kissed me good night and when I got home I got a text saying thanks for the wonderful time. I didn't reply until morning, but I did say thank you for the great date and that I was sorry for being lame and ending it early. He text back and said it was really fun and he had a great time too. He didn't ask me out again, and (i know it's only been 24hrs) I haven't heard from him again. I'm wondering if it would be ok for me to text him? And if so when? I feel like I gave off the wrong vibe and I really do want to see him again. | Are you allowed to call after a first date if you think the only reason why they haven't called is because they think you're uninterested? |
t3_wzy9f | AskReddit | I badly bruised my arms rocking out at a Tenacious D concert, but neither of my parents believe my explanation. What's your best "No one believed the truth" story? | Long story short, I went to Tenacious D concert a few days ago. I've been dreaming of seeing them live for almost 10 years, so needless to say I was pretty excited. It rocked harder than anything, in ever. Got there early and snagged a great spot up at the very front at the rail seperating the crowd from the stage. Cue a couple of hours of myself jumping around in almost orgasmic glee, awash in the pure musical glory of The D. Afterwards, I realized I had beaten the crap out of my arms and by the time I got home had some pretty sweet bruises. Fast forward two days, I visit my parents for dinner. I'm in Texas so wearing long sleeves to hide the bruises are not an option. I decide it would be for the best if I point them out and explain how I got them because I knew they would have noticed them anyhow and I didn't want them to think something malicious had befallen me. My dad takes one look and flips out, accuses me of lying and demands to know who hit me. My mom proceeds to pull up my shirt and check for more marks, then makes a comment to the effect of she thinks I tried climbing on stage and got thrown around by a security guard, or that I made an amorous advance on Kyle Gass because he had given me a guitar pick (KG lovebites, heh).
They still don't believe me.
Share your stories. | Got some nice bruises rocking my little heart out. Dad thinks I'm covering up being abused, Mom thinks I made a drunken ass of myself on stage at a concert and was man-handled by security. |
t3_2yzuga | personalfinance | Thinking of starting investing with Bank of America Merrill Lynch | So I'm not a big financial person, I've actually am horrible with money. However, I'm big into tech and I've made some pretty good calls on the trends of tech companies in the market and thought it might be good to invest a little into it. Not to mention, I also would like to invest in companies I personally believe in.
I'm not going to throw a ton of money into the market and hope for a profit, but it's definitely something I need to start learning about.
So my question is, that I am going to start a BOA Merrill Lynch Account soon to do my investing since I'm already a customer and I would like to find resources to read about how Merrill Lynch works and anything else that might be useful for me!
I appreciate any and all advice! | Looking for some reading material on how to utilize Bank of America Merrill Lynch since I am a noob when it comes to finances. |
t3_mn66o | AskReddit | In need of a "charity party game" as a replacement for the office Christmas party gift exchange game | Every year our office does a gift exchange game at the staff Christmas party. Many of you probably know this game either from work (if you work at a small company) or family gatherings. The specific rules usually vary slightly, but it revolves around everyone bringing a generic gift and then taking turns taking a gift and unwrapping it. The "fun" comes in when you don't like what you opened, and are allowed to steal/swap your gift for someone else's gift they have already opened. If you were the one swapped with, you may accept the exchange or steal someone else's.
The problem is, while it can be fun, the same patterns emerge and it gets old after a few years. More importantly, since you are not buying gifts that are specifically suited for a particular person, it is inevitable that a good portion of people will not end up using or enjoying their gift anyway. Unfortunately this means wasting money, and creating physical waste (of course you can donate or re-gift later if it is not complete junk).
So I thought we could try something a bit different this year. My idea is that everyone contributes the money they would have spent on stuff, and then we donate all the money to a charity. But since we still want to do something fun at the Christmas party, I thought we could play a game where the winner gets to have the money go to the charity of their choice. I think this way we can do good with our money (Which I think is big part of the Christmas spirit) and we can feel good and have fun at the Christmas party doing it.
Everyone seems onboard with this idea, so all that is left is to find a game that is fun to play and results in picking a charity. Maybe you have a game that your have played before that you can share. Or maybe you have a new unique idea. I feel like almost any party game where there is a single winner (or even teams) could be adapted for this. So please share your opinions on your favourite game that could work. But, I am also curious if there are any party games that are really well suited for picking charities and make a great replacement for the gift exchange game. | Does anyone know of any fun party games where a charity is the winner? (to replace a Christmas party gift exchange) |
t3_1w827y | relationships | I [18M] messed up by talking to her again [16F] | Oh god why would I put myself through this againn. To make a long story short, I met this girl a year ago in highschool and started talking to her. She became such a needy and talkative person to the point of annoyance, but for a few weeks I needed it to distract me from some depression. I dated her for just over a week, then she cut it off for unknown reasons. Then after another month of her neediness and talking non stop, calling me, texting me, and nagging me on facebook turned into me just being a bucket she could vent into, telling me all her deepest darkest problems (but never taking any advice regarding them, or seeking professional help).
I was having a bad day and decided to tell her to never speak to me again. Since then every few months she would call me early in the morning, or tell a mutual friend to say hi to me.
Now, a year later, I saw her in a hallway and she tried to start talking to me but she looked so sad. I cracked and added her back on facebook, and it's only been three fucking days but she's become so annoying again oh my god. But she keeps telling me how much she's missed me and now I've got to hang out with her tomorrow because I promised I would. Oh man if I cut her off again I'm really afraid of how she'll react. What am I supposed to do? | Met a 16 year old girl who annoyed me to death, cut off all contact with her for a year. Saw her again and started talking again but she's more annoying than ever. |
t3_vnjyl | AskReddit | Has anyone else been experiencing problems with their mail? | For the last four months I have not received my own mail in my box in my apartment. With seemingly no rhyme or reason I have been receiving multiple units mail in my mail all at the same time, and so is everyone else. I chalked it up to having a new carrier who isn't very good. But, it spilled over to work as well. When I go out to check the mail for our office all of the units are jumbled, every single day. I have to walk around and deliver mail to all the other suites and they have to sort and give us our mail. My home and my office are 10 miles apart, are in different towns and have different zip codes. The other day I was at my folks place and as I was coming in up the walk I stopped and grabbed their mail out of their residential mail box and looking it over yet ANOTHER jumble of mail, sometimes for homes not even on my parents street. I mentioned it to my mom and she informed me that it has been happening ever since they moved into their place last November. My question is, is there some sort of fraternal half ass mail delivery protest going on? They are afraid to lose their jobs so mail carriers are doing their job really half-assed? I think we should keep the USPS but, this is ridiculous. Maybe it is some kind of Durden-esque social experiment to make me meet the people around me? Anyone? | Four months every single day the wrong mail is delivered to my apartment, my work and my parents house. But, Why? |
t3_3swsx3 | relationships | Me [16M] finding out that my brother [17M] is gay through friends, he has talked to our parents but not me. What do I do? | A little over a month ago a friend of mine (she is unimportant to the rest of the story) said to me "You're brother asked out Dan today." I didn't really know how to respond, but I wasn't super surprised given my brother (Cole) has had some rough years and being gay might be a reason for being so conflicted over the years.
About a week later the two of them went on a date to see "The Martian" and out to dinner. In doing so, he told me and my parents that he was going to see a movie and have dinner "with friends." I knew that it was a date because my gf (Ana) is close friends with Dan.
Fast forward another couple weeks and Cole tells me that he is going to his friends house for the afternoon. No big deal. I hear from Ana that he was actually out with Dan again. My mom also believed that he was at another friend's house.
Last Tuesday Ana tells me that Cole talked to our parents, and that my dad was cool and supportive, but my mom was a little uncertain. She just told me again today that my mom is becoming more ok with it all.
Despite what I've heard from my gf who I love and trust, I still have a feeling that he didn't talk to our parents. Especially since he has lied to us all about what he has been doing and the only reason I know the truth is because of Ana. Apparently in one of their dates Cole said that he was cool with people learning about him being gay, but is yet to come out to me while most people in our friend circles know.
At this point, I am confused and lost as to what I should do. Everything I know has come from other people and it is bothering me that he hasn't talked to me. I want to talk to him about it and hear it from him, but I also don't want to force anything on him and make the situation worse.
Thanks for any help. | I've learned everything about my brother being gay and going on dates from friends, but he is yet to tell me even though he has told my parents. Looking for help on how/if I should approach him. |
t3_3vdngw | personalfinance | Selling RESP in Canada | Hey all. I got a job selling registered education savings plan in Ontario. I want to know if the plan is decent before I try to sell it to people.
Basic Background: RESP Is a plan where you put away money for your kid to go to college, the government contributes 20% to wtvr u put in per year. (Up to 500$) When your kid goes to school you can take back your contributions. All The money can grow tax free and the INCOME (government grants and interest) is only taxed when it's taken out, and it's taxed at the tax rate of the student at that time.
The plan I'm selling is classified as low risk ( Gov bonds Prov bonds Corporate bonds PPNs) and has a medium return. (4.3% average 3 year 4.4, 5 year. 4.5 10 year 4.7 since inception. 1998)
However the plan has a sales charge of 11.9% ALL UPFRONT. (Up to 50% of that can be returned when your kid goes to school. Not guaranteed.)
Example in a scenario where u contribute 100$ per month for 14 years, u contribute 16,800$ we take 2000$. With remaining 14,800 ASSUMING 4 percent compounding return and adding 20% you will have about 23,400 at the end. (Plus potentially another 1000$ back) You must keep to the contract tho If you quit in the middle or switch to another RESP provider u do not get your 2000$ back.
At a bank you are eligible to receive the same gov grants and u can put the money in an account (no return) GIC (1.15 - 1.5 5 year) or mutual fund with no sales charge. (Mutual fund will charge MER). You do not need to contribute when you don't want to. | my plan has average return of 4.3% on low risk investment but charges 11.9 % upfront sales charge. Banks have no sales charge but u gotta pick account GIC or mutual fund. |
t3_2al4j7 | relationships | My boyfriend [23 M] broke up with me [18 F] because he couldn't deal with distance. Need advice. | Throwaway account due to intense activity on original one. Submitted this new post because the title of the old post was misleading.
Ex-BF went to the same college I am going to this fall; we met at an alumni event last November. Cue the strong feelings and falling for each other bit, but with a catch: ex already had a long distance relationship. Deciding it was unfair to the other girl, he broke it off, and we had a couple of great months.
A bit of background: ex had a two-year long relationship with said girl. He was- and still is, to a certain extent - depressed at the fact that the relationship didn't work out simply because of distance, which led him to stop having feelings for the girl entirely.
We were happy, but ex decided to break it off yesterday. He pointed out how although he liked me, we would be thousands of miles away from each other for four years. Job prospects in his field in the area I would be in would be dismal at best in the foreseeable future, and I had no interest in ever coming back to our city. He was also emotionally unprepared for another long distance relationship, pointing out how we had extremely different political views, and that it would get harder and harder for us to even coexist with such radically different lines of thought.
I asked him then why he initiated anything in the first place, and he replied something along the lines about how he was "too youthful" about the whole thing. I asked if I was just an easy lay, or a rebound. He said no.
*Then what am I?* I asked.
He didn't reply, only asking for me to give him space.
Reddit, I am still reeling from all this. I too had misgivings about the relationship in the first place, and I only decided to commit because he told me that it was worth it, that we would make it. He is not replying to any of my texts. I am completely devastated. Was he playing me? Did I mean anything to him? Do I still mean anything to him? Do we have another shot at this? | 18 year old girl has strong feelings for 23 year old guy. 23 year old guy dumps girl because he can't deal with an LDR. Girl is heartbroken, and is seeking advice. |
t3_2xk4o7 | tifu | TIFU by promising my friend concert tickets | This is my first post...like, ever.
A few months back my brother and I managed to get four tickets to a concert that were in his name. The idea was that he was going to take his friend with him, while I was going to take my gf.
Fast forward to about a month ago, he has exams coming up and he's realised that he won't be able to make the concert since he has an exam the next day, so while his friend is still going on their own (they've paid for their ticket) I get the spare ticket and give it to a friend of mine who is a BIG fan of this particular band.
But this is where the problems start, as after looking into it this morning (which is the day BEFORE the concert) I find out how strict they are, and that my brother needs to be there with ID or else we can't get in (their way of preventing people from scalping tickets). So now I have to tell my friend that she can't come, after being super excited for this thing. | Told a friend she'd get a ticket to see a band she REALLY loves, now I have to tell her she can't go the day before the concert. |
t3_3o9zp9 | tifu | TIFU By almost blowing up my house | I guess like most TIFU, this actually happened a long time ago, when I was about 8 or 9. I was outside with my friend, (who we'll call Jeff), while my dad was grilling some hotdogs for us. He had been over at my house for a while, so we had pretty much done everything, and were bored to death. So I came up with this ingenious idea; put some stick figures on a flower pot and throw rocks at them. Who ever knocked the most down won. The problem was the flower pots were on our picnic table, which happens to be right infront of the grill. So my dad goes to walk inside and we started throwing rocks at the stick figures. About 3 throws in, I miss, and a huge rock flies right into the propane tank on the grill. Now i can't remember how hard I threw it, but I remember cringing when I saw it. If it did infact puncture the propane tank, it probably would have exploded due to the grill being on. But I never thought much about it untill the other day I realize that 10 feet away from the grill, there is this huge 200-300 gal propane tank, that was for our house. Now that I realise it, I could have possible destroyed my house. But, my friend doesn't remember anymore, so no one else will. I'll just keep it that way. | Was throwing rocks at stickfigures, missed and hit a propane tank, that could have blown up my house. |
t3_29iq6i | running | Well this sucks. (Possible disc issue) | I used to work at ups and ran 12 miles a day 6 days a week. I wasn't super fast, but damn I could run for what seemed like forever without problem. Then I moved back out to school couldn't handle running in town so I switched to swimming at the beach.
Then I came back got a job being the only farm hand on a 500 head of cattle beef farm. And also did gas well work. That kept me in shape as well. Running down calves and rounding up cows etc.
Fast forward to three weeks ago, unemployed/somewhat self employed. Decide to pick running up again. Got myself up to around 3 miles a day and my time hovering around 10 min/mile. Last Wednesday got a horrible back pain. Almost blacked out couldn't move or anything. Spent 4.5 hrs in the ER. Followed up with my pcp. Got told to see a chiropractor. First visit earlier this evening, and he's pretty certain it's a bulged disc maybe slipped. So now my running routine is over until this gets figured out. So this fucking sucks. | hurt my back badly after getting back into running. Most likely a disc issue. Can't run let alone barely walk now. Fuck. |
t3_28ci6m | relationship_advice | I [20/f] have been having issues with my ex [21/m] who won't leave me alone after finding out I'm dating someone else [21/m] | My ex-boyfriend and I had a LDR of 2.5 hours for our whole relationship of 18 months. We have been broken up for a little over 8 months, breaking up due to strain of travel and just going separate ways and I started seeing someone else a little over a month ago. He found out through mutual friends and has been constantly been trying to "win" me back. I have been getting constant calls and text, I have blocked his number but he will either call me off a friend's phone or through a private number (which I can't block.) I have changed my number once already but he always seems to get his hands on it. I have told him multiple times I don't want to be with him but he doesn't seem to be able to take no for an answer, it's even going so far now that he is planning a trip to visit me and "change my mind". It's really putting strain on my new relationship and I really need some help on how to get him to stop. | ex-boyfriend is constantly calling and texting trying to "win me back" and won't take no for an answer, which is putting strain on my new relationship. |
t3_msefi | AskReddit | Need Advice: I believe my job overpaid me- what should I do? | I just started a new job and was going through their training courses when the trainer had to abruptly go on a medical leave. There weren't any other trainers available to train our class. We were 3 days in and had another 4 left. So now those of us who couldn't finish had to be rescheduled to the next available class which wasn't for another 2 weeks. (Yes, we went 2 weeks without pay)
I got my paycheck in the mail today and sure enough they paid me as if I went to the previously scheduled training.
How should I go about handling this? I have never been put in this position before.
Thanks Reddit! | Got new job, went 2 weeks without pay for their problem, paycheck came today and was overpaid. What should I do? |
t3_2q5b21 | relationships | My [25 F] married platonic friend [29 M] got handsy with me while drunk. | I met my friend Don about a year ago at the local chapter of a club we both belong to and discovered we shared a ton of mutual interests. We're currently working on a project together for said club, and a few nights ago we met up to discuss logistics. We both had a few drinks and then reconvened at my place to watch some TV.
I should emphasize that I have zero romantic interest in Don. He's not attractive to me, and he's also married. So you can imagine my surprise and dismay when, while seated side by side, he moved in and attempted to spoon me. I immediately told him that wasn't okay and he was making things weird. He immediately stopped and apologized.
A few minutes later, I feel his hand snake up the back of my shirt. Now he's scratching my back. Again I tell him this is weird and unacceptable to me, and I'm positive his wife wouldn't be okay with it either. He stops, stammers out a long apology and says he never wants to make me uncomfortable, and doesn't do it again. He goes home 45 minutes later.
Today I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do here. Don definitely crossed the line — twice — but he also stopped when I said to and acknowledged it when I pointed out that his behavior wasn't above board for a married man. While I'm not prepared to give him a pass for being drunk, I think it's worth noting that he's never pulled anything like this with me before, drunk or sober.
At this time my tentative solution is to just not drink with him anymore and, if he tries anything like this again, end the friendship (and also let his wife know why).
But what say you, Reddit? Do you think there's a better way of handling this situation? | — My married friend of about a year got very drunk, tried to spoon me/scratch my back, but immediately stopped when I told him to and apologized. What's the best way to address this going forward? |
t3_42aroy | relationships | My [22M] girlfriend [21 F] of 10 months keeps telling me she wants me to be with her forever. | I love this girl and she loves me, that's the only reason I'm confused here and would like help.
For the past few weeks, she keeps telling me she wants me to promise her I will take care of her and be with her forever.
Whenever I mention that I might want to go travelling or study overseas or anything, she gets extremely upset and defensive and makes me feel like a bad person for wanting to leave her.
She nearly broke up with me the other day, giving me an ultimatum to promise her that I would do everything in my power to be with her forever or she will find someone who will.
I love her and love spending time with her, but I don't know what i want in the future. I just want to enjoy our relationship. I don't know if I want to travel or live in another country and I can't promise her that I'll be with her forever.
She can feel that I'm keeping something from her and it's hurting our relationship, but whenever I tell her I don't know what i want in the future she gets really upset and makes me feel like a bad person.
I feel like I just need to break up with her and move on sometimes, which sucks because i love her
Am I being unfair? | girlfriend wants me to promise I'll be with her forever (commit to her long term), but I don't know what i want in my life and she gets upset and makes me feel bad when I tell her that. |
t3_3hvjz4 | AskDocs | Pain and nausea 5 months after gallbladder removal, all tests come back normal. What to do next? | My partner is a caucasian male, 34, 6'2", 200 lbs.
In March 2015, had gallbladder removed after a few months of vague pain, and 2 days of very concentrated RUQ abdominal pain.
Laparoscopic surgery, area was more inflamed than the surgeon expected. Stayed an additional night with a drain.
Was out of work for 3 months due to residual pain in the same area as the GB pain, and nausea. Pain will persist for days at a time, nausea for up to 24 hours. Sometimes following eating, sometimes not. At times it's worse now than before gallbladder removal.
We have since been to 2 hospital systems (ER twice after initial entry) and numerous doctors, including GPs, general surgeons (specializing in liver/GB area), and gastroenterologists. The pain clinic said they couldn't help him. Have had the following tests, all of which were normal except where indicated:
* Endoscopy (found gastritis and ulcers, prescribed pantaprazole, which has helped with chronic heartburn)
* Endoscopic ultrasound
* MRI
* X-rays
* CT scan
* MRCP
* Gastric emptying test
* Blood/urinalysis
Every new doctor we go to says "it's part of the healing process," "everybody heals differently," "drink more fluids," "take more anti-depressants," and, most infuriatingly, "you shouldn't be feeling like this."
SO what do we do now?? I don't even know what kind of doctor to go to next. Nobody believes him, sends him for a test believing that it'll come back negative, and then washes their hands of us. | Doctors don't believe residual post-cholecystectomy pain and nausea is serious, can't find anything wrong with him. What do we do now? |
t3_2vu2w4 | relationships | Just found out my wife [24] is pregnant. How can I [29] tell her we should consider an abortion? | We have a 1 1/2 years old daughter and we've been struggling a lot financially since I'm the only one who works while she goes to college.
She is graduating this next may and she had plans to start working immediately in a laboratory (she studied Biotech) but now she thinks that the pregnancy will get in the way and she won't be hired anywhere.
As I stated before, we're not doing very good financially and I think this new child will further complicate our relationship and plans.
I expect I'd get a lot of hate for posting this and, quite frankly, I never thought I would ever consider an abortion but the truth is that we would not be able to take care of another child properly. | We have a daughter, we're not financially stable and my wife thinks being pregnant will impede getting a job for her. How can I approach her to consider an abortion? |
t3_388moa | jobs | Disabled, looking for help on finding a job in a rural area | I'm trying to find a job, and as I mentioned in the title I am disabled (I can still walk, but doing so causes me a great deal of pain. I can only walk for a few minutes at a time). The area I live in is 90% physical labor jobs (which are impossible for me) and the other 10% say you need 3+ years experience or a bachelors degree, masters preferred. I'm only 21, I don't have much work experience. Just in fast food and at a deli.
I've been debating on going to college, but I'm not sure if it is the right move. I get disability and my SO works 50-60 hours a week to keep her, myself, and our son eating and housed.
I feel pretty useless being at home, I watch our son so we don't have to pay daycare. But on top of doing nothing but cleaning the house all day, the only pay I bring in is the disability. And both of these make me feel like a really ****** person.
Does anyone have any advice I could use for finding a decent job that I could work? Really the only problem is my disability, I've searched for jobs that also provide training as part of signing on with little-to-no luck.
Thanks for any help. | Disabled, want to help my family and find a job, all jobs in my area are not suitable to my knowledge or physical capabilities. Looking for help in maybe finding something I'm missing. |
t3_32fdck | relationships | My [25 F] fiance [25 M] is going to jail in the morning | I've been dating this guy over a year now and we recently got engaged. Back when we had just met and were just friends, we played truth or dare and he found out I had cancer. I found out that he had a pending legal case he might go to jail for. We ended up falling in love and he stayed by my side through a lot of bad shit.
He came to me today shaking, crying, and begging me not to leave him. His case is going to court and a warrant was issued for his arrest. He's turning himself in the morning.
We don't know if he'll get bond, he should, but if not he'll be in jail for at least a month. If he's found guilty, he'll be gone for years.
I have no experience with this kind of thing and I'm terrified. :( what can I do to help him? | My fiance is going to jail, I'm staying with him, but I'm at a total loss how to help him. |
t3_1rikv8 | relationships | I [17M] blocked ex [16F] on facebook. Was it stupid? | Hey sorry if this is lame/childish.
We have been broken up for 9 months, and I have been with my new girlfriend for 3 1/2 months.
Anyways, my ex lives a few hours away, and talked to me every once in a while after we broke up. After a while I told her "Sorry I don't want to talk to you anymore, it's not good for me and I have to think about myself".
She contacted me two times after this. The first time I apparently hadn't been clear enough, and after I chatted for 5 minutes I told her I wanted no contact.
Two months AFTER this she contacted me again starting out with "I know you didnt want me to contact you but I had to know if you are okay...." uhm, okay so I chatted with her for 5 minutes this time as well before telling her that "I don't want any more contact with you, sorry".
I discussed it with my girlfriend, whom is supportive and just said I had to find out for myself if I wanted to block her or what to tell her.
I am 100% over her, and I REALLY don't want her to be a part of my life, in whatever way. So I blocked her.
I just feel like it was harsh, and I shouldn't have chatted for the short duration before telling her to stop contacting, I should have just said, please stop contacting... | blocked my ex on facebook after she contacted me twice after telling her not to, was it harsh? I probably shouldn't even care... she is my EX and we are only 17... |
t3_2y39yg | legaladvice | Kansas- sublet tenants refuse to contact me and refuse to remove belongings | Dad and two daughters lived in my living room and extra bedroom. No documentation, but paid rent until March 2015. Supposed to be out by Monday, March 2. Still not out as of March 5, will not contact me. I know his daughter has stolen about $500 worth of things from me. As soon as I started to confront them about it, suddenly his phone stops working and he won't respond to e-mails. Her phone works but she will not respond to my requests that she give the phone to her dad so we can talk.
They still have a considerable amount of things here. I changed my locks because I really don't feel okay with them coming and going freely from here. Still, no one has knocked on the door to come here in 4 days. What can I do? I want them out of my life. | Tenants not gone on time, no contract, stole from me, still have stuff here, won't contact me. |
t3_3xxtyc | askwomenadvice | [21/M] A girl I've been hanging out with lately has a boyfriend and... | Well ok, I've hung out with her just the two of us before. I'm always tempted to make a move with her but I know shes in a relationship. I'm cool with just being friends because she's pretty cool. The other night I hung out with her and her boyfriend, he kind of hovered and at one point even asked us when we were going on our "rock climbing date". Should I just accept that I should probably not be friends at all with this certain girl? I'm obviousy attracted to her. I just don't know, I'm not the girlfriend stealing type at all but I know she could do better whether it be with me or someone else. Confliiictttteeedd. | Friends with girl, don't care if its platonic or not but I'm still attracted to her. Her boyfriend is threatened by me and I don't want to fuck up their relationship even though I think she could do better. |
t3_1xizce | relationships | Me [23F] am wondering about my [24M] cheating husband and if our marriage is over. | Sorry in advanced, I am new to this whole Reddit thing. So here is the story:
I'll give a little background. My husband and I met over a year ago, over the internet. We clicked and I seemed to fall for him instantly. We were inseparable. He was in the military and I am a full time student. Now, he is a veteran and also a full time student at the same university I attend. We were married a few months ago and it seems (to me at least) that the marriage was a huge mistake. I love him dearly, but he changed so much since we first met. I was expecting change, obviously, with the marriage but he became a whole new person. During the whole relationship, he was "sexting" and communicating with other women, over Reddit and other sites including hidden texting apps. I read all conversations.
He's always lied about who he texts. I've asked him to identify numbers for me and he always says they're classmates or coworkers. At this point, I have lost all hope in repairing this marriage because it never seems to stop. I have seen him trying hard to work on us, but I've just become very skeptical to the whole idea of "I love you and I PROMISE I'll change." Is the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" true? | Caught husband of few months chatting/sexting with other women throughout all of our relationship. Losing hope for marriage. "Once a cheater, always a cheater", any truth? |
t3_2vhsl3 | self | Here's why you should never buy mid grade gasoline. | If you put mid grade gas/petrol in your car, pay close attention to the price and octane and do some quick math. [Here's a photo] of the pump near my house. We'll use it as an example.
It lists 87 octane for $1.899
It lists 89 octane for $2.099
it lists 93 octane for $2.259
If we make 2 separate number lines you'll see a simple visual for how they typically price the 3 grades. For simplicity, I'm adding .001 to each value to remove the 3rd decimal.
--**87**----88----**89**----90----91----92----**93**--
As you can see, the jump in octane between mid and premium is twice the jump in octane between regular and mid.(4 points vs 2 points)
--**$1.90**--$1.95--$2.00--$2.05--**$2.10**--$2.15--$2.20---**$2.26**--
While the price, on the other hand, jumps more between regular and mid than between mid and premium (20 cents vs 16 cents)
This means that if you mix half a tank of regular with half a tank of premium, you'll pay less than mid and get a higher octane than mid. It takes an extra minute at the pump to complete 2 transactions instead of one, but I've been able to find stations that don't have delays between transactions and can shave that time down to ~10 seconds with a credit card. | Mix your own mid grade gas by getting half a tank each of regular and premium and you'll save money and get higher octane at the same time (**YMMV...literally**) |
t3_4fpu8h | relationships | Me (28M) girl I was dating (21F) doesn't know whether I should continue to pursue her | Ok.
I have posted in the past. I was fucking irritating to a girl on Sunday (after an amazing Saturday). I was just depressing and constantly questioning whether she liked me. She didn't speak for 3 days, now she texted me and we Skyped for 3 hours.
However, things are different. She said that whilst I have a chance of making her my girlfriend eventually, the chance is far smaller than in the past. Think along the lines of 6/10. She gave three reasons as to this:
1. My 'cup is half empty' attitude
2. Awkward sex jokes (I will stop that!)
3. The fact that I do not laugh all that much (I hate my smile, hence why)
I asked her if it was still worth trying. Her response:
"I don't know"
However, I do have a third date in probably a week and a half to 'give it a go'.
Is it worth continuing to try? I mean, I didn't have the same attitude on cam at all today (apart from when she told me I have a little bit of a lower chance)
I really do like her A LOT. I like the fact that I have this opportunity. My friend told me that if she wanted me to give up, she wouldn't be talking now. | Have a second chance in something I thought I had messed up. My chances are lower than before, but it still exists. Should I give it a go or call it quits? |
t3_2830k6 | relationship_advice | I [21/m] could use a little insight in the mind of a woman. | Yesterday I told a girlfriend of mine [22] that I like her very much and would like to see her as more as friends. She seemed surprised but also very flattered. She smiled all over but also told me that she has not had any deeper thoughts whether she would like a relationship or not in the moment. So she couldn't tell me yes or no now. I decided to believe her and told her it's okay and that i just wanted to get it off my chest and that I had not expected an answer as it was no question. Since that evening, which was quite nice (at least from my point)...nothing.
I know it was only yesterday and i know she propably needs time and i really understand it. Thing is we were like texting everyday or at least a quick good night before one of us went to bed. And i notice it does bother me a bit.
So I am not here to ask if it was the right thing to tell her, as for me it definitely was.
I think I might wait the day and maybe start texting her tomorrow.
I would like to ask the women here: How would you react/what would you do if something like that would happen to you.
If anyone of you non-women have anything to say of course feel free to do so^^. | Told a girl about my feelings, everything went rather neutral. I would like to know what you would do (not from my perspective, but from hers). |
t3_1l3ax7 | jobs | If I don't get a job in the next month, I can't afford my apartment. Is this something I should tell employers? | Background - I'm a college graduate and perennial underachiever. I graduated about 3.5 years ago but have only worked about 2 years of that.
I'm applying for some jobs that might be considered "beneath" me, or that I'm "overqualified." For example, warehouse work, manual labor stuff.
So many employers are legitimately concerned about the possibility of leaving shortly after beginning a job. That's really what I need to work against, and in every conversation and interview I am already trying to convince them why I want to join them and what I can bring.
So... how specific should I be? My unemployment assistance is running out soon and I'm budgeting to keep my apartment for another month. Should I give that information if it seems necessary in an interview? How should I do that?
On a similar note -- over the past 2 years, I have made personal strides to improve myself as a person in nearly every way. I have lost weight, gained confidence, and quite nearly freed myself from the influence of severe depression and anxiety. Obviously these are issues I will face my entire life, but they are the primary reason for my lapses in employment and there's a bit of a disconnect between my history on paper and the confident front I present to employers. Should I talk about that? | I've had problems in the past (depression, anxiety) and problems today (rent). Should I share these with employers? |
t3_3emebn | relationships | Me [21 F] with my girlfriend [21 F] of six months, she lies unnecessarily about her past, and I can't handle the lies | My girlfriend and I always commend each other on our honesty and open communication.
I am comfortable with her other experiences/past, everything. I love her, and I don't care if she had an experience in the past.
I just can't handle when she lies about her past. Her stories don't match up, her friends tell me she has kissed certain other people in the past, and gone on dates with other people that were unmentioned/she denies. It makes me uncomfortable that she knows everything about my dating history, my thoughts, everything, and she still omits/lies to me. I don't care if she kissed/dated these other people.
I have sat down and told her that I love her and her past doesn't affect me, but I can't stand the hypocrisy of the lies. I get that it's only been six months, but she wants us to think long term about marriage and being serious, but I can't get over the fact that we can't even be completely honest. | GF wants complete honesty from me, but I don't get that from her. She wants us to think long term but I can't get over the short term lies. |
t3_r4a70 | relationship_advice | School group project causing strain | Some background first. I am married and have a question for reddit. I have been married to my wife for 7 years, we got married pretty young. I am 27, so is she. My wife has terrible self esteem issues and was anorexic when in high school. Her self esteem issues make her fiercely jealous of any interaction I have with other women. I dont flirt with other women and generally try to decrease interaction I have with women. It was really bad early on in the marriage, but the last few years things she has gotten a better handle on it.
I am in graduate school and my group needs to film a skit. I did not attend the group meeting and was assigned a job. The skit deals with an issue in the health profession. Anyway, I will play a husband and another girl in my class will play the wife. Another class member wanted to film it at my place. I brought this up with my wife and she immediately told me she didnt want me to do it. She said that the thought of me pretending to have another wife made her feel yucky and disgusted. I honestly had not thought anything of it, bc really its some dumb school project that i need to go on autopilot to complete. She wants me to tell the group I wont be involved and to switch with another guy in the group. Problem is all the other group members have filmed their parts.
So she went on facebook and stalked the girl and she is really freaking out and I can tell her insecurities are bubbling up to the surface again. She told me she is shocked and disappointed that I dont see a problem with this situation. It's weird for me bc I didnt see any problem with this until she started crying. She sees life and interprets things much differently than I do. Of course this is normal bc all people grow up having different experiences that affect the way they see things. but I feel like she sees things that are not really there. These flare ups wear on me emotionally and on our relationship.
Am I wrong about this, should I bow out and lose points or is my wife over-reacting? | Doing skit for group project. I am the husband, some random girl is wife. My wife is borderline hysterical about it and doesn't want me to do it. |
t3_gzgnn | AskReddit | Hey AskReddit, some asshole locked his bike to mine last night. How far do I morally have to go before I consider this bike mine? | So even though the other side of the pole was empty, and so was the one 15 feet away, this guy locked his bike to my frame yesterday. I waited 20 minutes - nobody came. I really had to leave and didn't want to leave my bike out overnight, so I left this note and brought both bikes inside at my job:
[front] ,
[inside](
When I got to work this morning, the note was **still there** and no one had contacted me. I replaced it with a new one that had an email instead of my phone number (didn't want to leave that on the street any longer) and i *still* haven't been contacted.
Problem - I need my bike. I'm not going to keep walking to/from work and paying for public transportation because this guy was a jerk. So I need to bust the lock if he doesn't come unlock his bike from mine.
**Moral dilemma** - I've had my bike stolen before. I can't think of a single other thing you could steal from me that would hurt me as much. BUT this guy violated basic bike etiquette - if you don't want to be subject to a stranger's whims, don't lock your shit to a stranger's shit. | Jerk locked his bike to mine yesterday. I left a note, I left contact info, how long do I morally wait before I bust the lock and sell this idiot's bike? |
t3_4sxze5 | relationships | I [19F] feel as if I'm emotionally abusing my boyfriend [21M] of one year and a half by constantly being angry | Before I explain why I think I'm emotionally abusive, I want to say that I've stressed my concerns to him, but he doesn't agree or see a problem.
Most arguments in our relationship are started by me and most can be boiled down to jealousy, these are extremely reoccurring:
-Before dating me he had a type that I don't necessarily fit, so I'm constantly worried or jealous of any girl who fits that type even though he constantly expresses how beautiful he finds me and how much he loves me. (I will often check his instagram likes or friends just to see how many pictures of theirs he's liked)
-He's a lot of fun and really loves to have a good time. We're semi-long distance so that means he usually is going out without me. We text 24/7, but whenever he goes out he doesn't text me often and it feels as if he forgets I exist. This has caused me to automatically become angry as soon as I know he's going out with friends or anyone who's not me. Thats extremely abusive to me, but I cannot stop the anger emotion.
I've been struggling with panic attack disorder and major depressive disorder for almost a year now, and it has definitely contributed to issues within my relationship. I've done some counseling, and will probably be taking anti-depressives soon. I also ordered the dialectical behavior workbook because some people suggested it on this subreddit. But for now, I'm just curious as to what other people think about this behavior? | I cannot stop myself from being angry at my SO even when I know I'm overreacting, is this abusive? |
t3_r2szo | dating_advice | M/22, Need help after drunken night | Went to visit some friends for St. Patty's Day weekend. Ended up meeting one of their friends from school and thought she was really cute and a very nice girl. We were flirting a lot at the bars and towards the end of the night she wanted to leave since we had been drinking all day and she was drunk so her and I left everyone and headed back to my friends' house where we were staying. We got back and couldn't get in so we were just on the porch talking and then we started making out. About 10 minutes later the others got back so we stopped and went inside. After a while everyone went to bed and her and I were alone and we started hooking up. Unfortunately being pretty drunk I wasn't very good, and everyone else kept walking around in the house so we had to keep stopping. Despite this she seemed pretty into it. When we woke up in the morning we talked a little but didn't say anything about what happened. Everyone was around when she left so I didn't really get a chance to ask for her number or even really get a feel for if she would be into trying to get to know each other.
This was the first time I had ever hooked up with a girl that I wasn't already dating so I don't know what to do now. I thought she was really cool but having never done anything like this and her living 2 hours away and not asking for her number in the morning I don't know if I should pursue it or not. Please help! | Hooked up with a girl while drunk, not sure if she is into me or if it was just a one time hook up, need advice what to do from here. |
t3_2t80i0 | relationships | How do I maintain a platonic relationship with my guy friend? | We are both in high school, same age, 16, same grade.
I have know him since freshman year and now we are juniors. We have started texting a lot, although I just want to remain friends with him.
It feels like every time I talk about something funny he sends me or says, someone next to me will say that we're so cute and we should get together.
The thing is, I'm not attracted to him and I just want to have a guy friend. Is there any way to make sure him and other guys don't get the wrong message? | Great guy friend, my friends want me to get together with, advice on maintaining a platonic relationship and not giving off a dating vibe to other guys. |
t3_2eg8z0 | tifu | TIFU by leaving my microphone on (GOT S3E9/ASOS SPOILERS) | This was literally 17 min ago.
So I was talking with my friend on Skype, who is on S3E3, and my brother is in the room reading A Storm of Swords and he just got to the Red Wedding. He tells me that he is very sad, and I respond that, "Well, Robb shouldn't have married whoever it was he did(it's different in the book than the show) and maybe he might still be alive." The only thing was, I forgot that my microphone was still on, even though I usually mute it when I'm discussing the show or the books with my brother. So, my friend heard what I said and when I get back on he tells me that he heard what I said. I just said, oh, well keep watching. I feel kind of bad about it. | I spoiled on of the biggest moments in ASOIAF to my friend who really enjoys the show and is not there yet. |
t3_35rxsf | tifu | TIFU by calling a woman sir leading to the most awkward private museum experience of my job so far. | So i work at a museum in my home town, we offer private tours and i am one of the guides that takes people around and gives in depth details about the exhibitions.
Today i was working the front desk when this woman made her way through the rotunda door, i had glanced up and saw what i thought was a man coming in so whilst i was glancing at the computer screen i said 'Welcome to the so and so museum Sir, how can i help?'. Turns out it was a woman and i immediately went red in the face and she pretended to not have heard me although i know she must have.
I recover quickly and ask how she wanted to see the museum today and she said a private tour, unfortunately for me i was the only guide left as it was a busy day, i tried to find one of my workmates to take it, but alas no. So i had to take this woman on a one on one tour for 1 hours, it was so fucking awkward, we barely made eye contact throughout. | Called a woman Sir at my work, then had to take her on a one on one 1 hour tour, awkwardness ensued. |
t3_25w3io | relationships | Met a guy [30]. I'm a girl [22]. We live 3,000 miles apart. Any point? | So, hi. Advice needed.
I'm a woman in her 20s, and recently met a guy in his 30s and it was insane instant attraction. We met by chance, after both seeing eachother just a few days previous. A couple of minutes either way and we may never have met. We got on better than I've got on with anyone when first meeting them. We talked for hours and hours. We didn't sleep together but we stayed in the same room, talked til we fell asleep, couple of hugs and a some holding hands. He was leaving on a flight a couple hours later.
Thing is, I'm from the UK. He's from US. We're both in long term relationships (well, I was, I've just broken up from my 2 yr relationship. I had question marks over it any way and meeting and having this connection with another person just made me realise maybe now isn't the best time to be in a committed relationship, not fair on him, not fair on me) and he is in a 4 yr relationship.
Now, I haven't made any contact yet and he didn't take my details (I had fallen asleep by this point) but he left me a note with his info on.
Should i bother getting in touch? What would be the point? I dont want to homewreck his relationship, that's not really up to me. Maybe he doesn't feel the same - who knows. But. Should i bother?
I've never felt like that before, so instantaneously attracted to someone. It's pretty silly.
halp! | 21 yo Girl meets 30 yo guy by chance, spends one night (non romantic) together with an insane connection, but live 3000 miles apart. Any point staying in touch? |
t3_4nbzes | relationships | I [18F] went to my sister's [23] workplace and ended up leaving with a job. I am supposed to start/train Saturday but I was offered/took the job on a hectic day and regret my decision. What do I do? | The title says the cut and dry.
I am a nanny during the week Mon-Thurs. My sister works at a cupcake place and mentioned they may need someone to just fill in when other people need to take days off. Exactly a week ago, I went to her workplace to talk to the boss and get more info about the job. She loved me and when I left said "you wouldn't want to start this Saturday right?" To which I said "No I would rather not". In my head I meant to say "I still need time to decide" but in reality I ended up walking out with all the paperwork I needed to fill out so I could begin work.
The job would be mostly Fridays and Saturdays making my three day weekend that I have been looking forward to all year turn into a one day weekend. I am gone for 13 out of the 21 days they would have me work for.
Now, a week later, I have emailed explaining how much time I will have to miss for already planned events. I am stressing because I am 18 and my girlfriend and I want to go camping and stuff but we don't have solid plans but I wouldn't be able to get any more days off.
I feel like I accepted the job but now I am physically sick over the situation because I don't want to leave a bad mark for my sister's sake but I also feel like this is not a good job for me to take.
How do I professionally email them again and say that I am not going to be able to take the job? | I went to my sister's workplace and ended up leaving with a job. I am supposed to start/train Saturday but I was offered/took the job on a hectic day and regret my decision. What do I do? |
t3_1v5a3d | relationships | Me [36/F] with my co-worker [32/F] of over a year, she just won't stop talking! | First off, she's very nice and I do like her, but the non-stop talking is getting out of hand.
We work in a hospital in close proximity together. She talks ALL THE TIME (I timed her once: 38 minutes without a break). It doesn't matter what the subject is, she has something to say about it. She talks over people. She answers questions that were directed to others. Quite frankly, it's driving me up the wall. I've come to the point where I just walk away. She doesn't care; she just keeps talking to inanimate objects. I'm not kidding.
My other co-workers joke about it and think it's funny; I've joked with her in the past about her chatterbox ways, but she's becoming rude (the talking over others, etc). I'm starting to feel like the bad guy because I'm getting to the point where I can't stand to be around her, but everyone else thinks it's an adorable quirk and loves her.
I have talked to my supervisor about it; they told me that she probably just thinks she's being helpful (re: answering for others) and to just walk away if it gets too much. There's only so far I can walk away; I do have patients to take care of and a job to do.
When I see that we're scheduled together (which is most of the time), I get a sick knot in my stomach. The sound of her voice is becoming a screech in my ears. It's starting to affect my work as I'm becoming a grump every time we have to work together. I still do my job to the best of my ability, but I know I'm probably not the happiest person to be around. I used to be a cheerful, pleasant person; I'm just completely burnt out. :(
So, as my social skills are poor, what would be the nicest way to tell her 1) she's rude and 2) please, shut the hell up? Let others talk once in awhile. I really want to be as nice as possible about it as we do have to work closely together all the time. | Co-worker talks non-stop and is sometimes rude. What would be a nice way to tell her to just shut up? |
t3_pom8k | BreakUps | Need advice on my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. | We have been on and off for two years, She broke up with me (18F) and i understand why (18M with Aspergers). its been about 3 weeks. Two days after she broke up with me she said she wants to try and work things out, i was rather happy when we broke up to be honest because of all the things she put me through.
So i am taking my time with working out what i want and yeah i can be difficult at times but as can she and she did break up with me. so i find out the last time we broke up she was flirting with one of my friends very heavily and they were talking about sex (we share the same social group but they are more my friends then hers). so i was very angry with her, i was upset and hurt. its not the first time shes done something with one of my friends but this time she kept it from me.
so i took things a little far yesterday and was being really difficult and reduced her to tears (she crys over things like her FB account got hacked 3 days in a row when i was the one fixing it for her but no big deal). i feel bad despite how bad she has hurt me and things she has said are awful. i apologize.
She tells me she just needs time to think and put herself back together and will talk to me when shes ready. i understand i have pushed her to believe i don't want her anymore but i need advice. Last time we broke up she had a couple weeks space, she said she was over me and wanted to be friends (she did want to be friends but after a year i find out shes not really over me). If she is moving on, ill assume the no contact rule. if she is just working it out, i don't know what to do. | She breaks us up, wants me back. i find out a secret, i am very angry and hurt, i take it out on her, she takes a step back to work things out. |
t3_22z6vj | relationships | I [20 M] have been having second thoughts about my Girlfriend [22 F] of two years | I have been dating my girlfriend going on two years, and at a base level, it has been going great. We both share similar interests(music, rock climbing, hiking, camping), have a great sex life, and tolerate each other very well.
However, for the past month or two, I have been entertaining the idea of not being with her anymore. I feel as though when we have serious talks, she is unable to really listen and often redirects the focus back to her. I haven't been feeling as physically or emotionally attracted to her as I once did and as a result of this, sex often feels forced. I have tried to talk to her about the communication barrier between us, but nothing has really changed.
The major hesitation that I have with breaking up with her is that we both share the same 'friend group' who thinks that we are perfect together. It would create a lot of tension among us and I don't want to force them to choose between us as I know my girlfriend would take the breakup very hard.
Now for the logistical dilemma: I am leaving on a two month trip to California in a few weeks. I wonder if the timing of this trip would make it easier to move on because of no contact or if it would just make me an asshole. I really just want both of us to be happy which is why I am struggling with this decision because I know it will hurt her very much. | Communication barrier in our relationship, considering breaking up before my two month trip to California. Would breaking up with her before the trip be a good thing or just make me an asshole? |
t3_if39r | AskReddit | I'm currently paying an average of $130 to $220 a month for internet... any ideas Reddit? | A small background. I live in in Puerto Rico, where I haven't had to good an experience with ISP's in general. My last ISP was only provided 512K download speed for $24 a month... and the service never work, so we pushed it out. One Link, the service I'm currently using, was highly recommended by many people, so we got into the contract and everything was smooth.
The problem starts a month ago, when we got a letter informing us that this service had a 40 g/b bandwidth limit, which once exceeded include an additional $17 charge for every 10 g/b. We had exceeded by around 140 g/b! Now, I use and enjoy my internet... I watch anime, read reddit (a lot) and some other miscellaneous stuff... but I haven't done any of that for about 4 months (college just ended for me a week ago). As a matter of fact, I watched no more than 7 youtube videos last week, I was planning on resuming some nice anime watching and online gaming this week.
Today, I wanted to begin my use of internet by downloading Infamous from | Cap on internet causes me to pay over $100 plus the monthly fee, must find way to regulate internet use that I don't usually partake off. |
t3_1s7oit | AskReddit | Reddit, did my house just get cased for a burglary? | So it's 6:30 PM (California, and it's pretty dark), and I'm pulling into my driveway as I see someone walking from my front door. I assume it's the mailman or a delivery man or something, but he stops and waits for me to get out of the car.
He says he and his partner (who I don't see) work for ADT, and that they are installing a system in one of my neighbor's houses.
He says that his partner noticed not a lot of houses on my street had ADT signs displayed on their lawns, and told him to come out and talk to neighbors to see if they were interested in a complementary security system.
He said that if I was interested, he would leave me with some sort of voucher and an ADT sign to display on my lawn.
I said that I was not the homeowner, that I lived with my parents, who were out. I asked him if he had an information packet or something that I could leave to see if my parents were interested in an alarm system.
He asked when would be a good time to come back, that he did not have an information packet, and that he only had one copy of the voucher so I could not keep it.
I lied and said they worked nights, and to come back during the day (this is a lie, my mother stays at home during the day, she had been gone just to pick up my sister).
He said he would be back some other time. We shook hands, he walked down the street, I went into my house.
Now I'm sitting here wondering if he was casing my house, if the ADT sign was some sort of marker they would place for a future burglary, or if I'm just being paranoid.
If I was being cased, what should I do? Report it to the police? | ADT Salesman" solicits me for business, doesn't have any material to leave me, and asks questions about residents' availabilities "to talk business." |
t3_26kkkp | self | First solid experi[m]ent with chatroulete | Wondered on, firstly tried the adult section. Lots of men, spanking the monkey, in fact after 30 mins, i decided to stop having not seen a girl. Or wanting to talk to throbbing members.
Went to normal mode vid chat. Found it very hard to talk to people and got the dreaded next alot. Mic was working yet many people were not responding to both a audiable hello or a text Hi.
The few I got to talk to briefly:
A young kid, shared a few words, then said goodbye. It just feels werid talking to young kids online.
Interactions with some kids playing pranks. I smiled but quickly disconnected as he pulled what i thought was something out of his pants. When it was a toy.
Groups of young teens. They wanted to talk or at least mock my asian appearance, not bad but chickened out.
Finally after 1.5 hours of searching or rather being nexted i found a girl?. Strange conv. she said she was pooping, and made me laugh. The chat didn't progress and i was nexted.
Another girl, bored like me. Sitting in a small room. We chatted alot, about bland stuff, likes and dislikes, the weather. Nothing deep. We exchanged skype to have a further voice chat due to chatroulte bad lag. Talked for further 20mins. Found it much harder to talk. Though I am quite quiet. She said am I boring you alot.
**Conclusions:** Was I nexted because I was asian? Who knows but did the fact I was asian help me talk to those 2 girls, also asian. I assume so. Other women and men mostly nexted me. However it seems younger/ kids are likely to stay for longer.
I would say I am average looking, slim build. For further times, will need more intersting props and planned conversations/games.
The experience has made me see it not as a scary place as it once was afraid of scammers/blackmailers, still it feels like grinding to met people. | Went on chatroulete, nexted for 1.5 hours, talked to 2 asian girls, got 1 skype number thought bland conversation |
t3_1b69f1 | AskReddit | Do you think the marriage equality fight is a distraction from real issues? | As a queer person myself, I find the fight for marriage equality to be unwise.
The push for US marriage equality is not a systemic change, it is a systemic absorption of queerness; a mutational force, radically hindering any struggle for true, systemic equality. This new fight is a distracting force. When we win it, we will feel satisfied - I say "when" because those who support it are right, according to the current government's laws. It will feel like a tactical victory for queers and devastating loss for institutionalized heterosexism. In fact, it could be a victory for institutionalized homosexism and a major set back for people who live queerly.
In the post-marriage-discrimination-US, we will be precipitously close to valuing the institution of marriage instead of broad equality. I speak in broad terms, here is my explanation: broad equality comes down to the systemic valuation of individuals instead of married couples.
I propose that part of the solution is to lessen the federal and state benefits designed for married couples, then proportionately strengthen all people's federal and state benefits. I also propose that what we call marriage be more broadly defined as a set of consenting, adult individuals who legally bind together to support one another. This different understanding of commitment now values what are referred to as "non-traditional" arrangements and places value on the individual citizen, not the couple.
Lastly, I would like to cite a book, Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?. In this stunning collection of essays, there is one that stood out to me by Ali Abbas, "Death by Masculinity". Here he sets the US marriage equality debate into a global moment: consolidation of wealth to the "first world" countries, egregious human rights violations across Africa and Asia, overpopulation, global climate change... | The people fighting for the US marriage equality fight are good people; it's just time for them to fight the true fight, a real systemic alteration. |
t3_1lb9an | AskReddit | When you truly have the shittiest of shitty days, where do you go or what do you do to make yourself feel better? | I had a terrible day on Monday. I had clients getting extremely upset with me because of my idiot boss. When I say "getting extremely upset" I mean coming into my firm and yelling bullshit in my face when I calmly try to explain why their estate planning documents aren't done yet. This happened 3 times Monday and they all started with the name thing "I don't know what Im supposed to do Calai, this is pure bullshit Calai, What am I paying you for Calai?" | Epic shitty day and to rectify it, I went home, curled up on the couch, medicated, crocheted and eventually fell asleep. |
t3_tm34n | relationships | SO confused? | (First post on here) My SO other (22) and I (20) have been off and on for about five years. I love him all of my heart, he is my best friend, and I know he loves me as well just by his actions (at least I thought I did)
We've been through good times, and bad, like most couples. The other night we were at Applebees with a friend and the conversation went south... He said that he was "confused" and every girl he hangs out with, he has different feelings for, which makes him question "What love really is" This hurt my feelings because he is always saying that he loves me, but if he doesn't know what it means, or is questioning it, why does he say it?
Anyway, the NEXT day he told me that he loved me and tried to kiss me. I pulled away and told him that he has a lot of things to think about and fast.
He has also came out and said that he feels "stuck" because he is living with me at the moment, and doesn't want to get kicked out(because he would have nowhere to go)
I can sense he might just be trying to wait it out until he moves out, but on the other hand I can see that he truly does care for me. I just don't know if he atm is ONLY using me for shelter (until he moves out on his own) He's also said that when he does move out, it is "free game" What does this mean? My biological clock is clicking, and I do want a family. What should I do? Help. | SO of 5 years is confused and not sure if "loves" me and is living with me, not sure what to do about current situation. |
t3_1rmprp | college | (Question) Do you pay back financial aid just like with loans? | I've been going to a community college for a little over a year now, starting near the end of last September, while we should've started in August. Through this college experience, I was able to use 1 scholarship for $250 dollars and had financial aid to help me through. But alongside that, I had to take out a loan (split and used in two halves) to pay for my time during the summer because we didn't get financial aid during that time.
So now I'm here almost done with my class and soon to graduate, but following a conversation with my mom, I ended up being confused on whether or not I have to pay back the financial aid I used. I know I have to pay back the loan (which sucks, of course), but as the financial aid is "given" to you from the government (for lack of better word?), I don't quite understand if that's really how that works. | Do I have to pay back my financial aid just like my loan, or is that more or less "my" money? |
t3_2w0jnv | relationships | My [18 M] condition precludes me from ever having any kind of romantic relationship. How do I better cope with this state of affairs? | It seems as if I've always had terrible luck throughout my childhood and adolescence, but this incident has to be one of the worst occurrences in my ill-fated life history.
I already wrote a long post on /r/confessions describing in detail *how* this entire thing happened, and you are all welcome to view the original account [here.] To summarize it all, I managed to transfer a cold sore infection from my face to my genitals through physical contact - now, I've become afflicted with genital herpes even though I've never had any kind of sexual intercourse with anyone.
At the moment, I'm facing yet another recurrence, and I just don't know how much more of it all I can stomach. Sitting in chairs without fidgeting is becoming a nearly impossible task, and I'm struggling to keep others around me from noticing my symptoms. The psychological effects are even worse than the physical ones, however - I feel as if I've been made dirty, unclean, and tainted by this horrid virus. I've never had any kind of romantic relationship before (sexual or nonsexual), and with this condition, I never will. I wouldn't ever want to risk exposing anyone to this kind of pain - even with proper condom usage, chances of infection still remain relatively high. It really does hurt me to recognize that I'll never get married in the future or start a family, and I'm going to have to keep living with these symptoms.......forever. Finally, if I were to tell *anyone* about my condition, then they'd never believe me, and I would face social ostracism. A virgin with an STD - what statement could possibly sound more absurd than that? | Acquired a permanent, incurable STD through non-sexual transmission. Becoming *extremely* depressed about my eventual prospects. |
t3_2vpomc | relationships | I've [21F] been dating a guy [26M] for a couple of months. I want to surprise him on our next date, but I don't know how he feels. | *I posted a similar question earlier today, but got caught up in what the dress was (and so it was removed), this is focused more on the relationship concerns. I'm looking for how this guy might react, and if I should do this considering the desperation it might give off.*
We've been dating for a couple of months, but aren't official, and I have trouble seeing how interested he is. On one hand, we see each other at least once a week with sleepovers, and I have a toothbrush at his place. On the other, he rarely texts and never says romantic things.
On the day we've been together for two months (not as a celebration, just good timing), I was thinking of dressing up and baking him cupcakes. However, we're just marathoning old movies at his place, so it's not the best setting. While I think it'll make my feelings pretty clear, I'm not sure if I should go all out considering he might not be as serious about me as I am about him.
We're both pretty poor and don't have money for nice restaurants or other occasions to dress up. I'm definitely baking cupcakes though, because he used to cook for me a lot before college got busy (we are both students).
I have two questions:
1) should I bake cupcakes **and** dress up, or is that too much considering he might just be casually interested?
2) what are some ways he'll react if he's not that interested, and how can I make it less awkward (if the above answer is yes)? | I've been dating a guy for a couple months and want to surprise him. But I have no idea if he's interested in anything beyond a casual dating relationship. Should I do it? |
t3_2kjl95 | dating_advice | Is she interested? What should I do now? | I unexpectedly ran into an old flame the other day(3 years since I've last seen her; we weren't in an official relationship but we liked each other and never got around to talking about what we were.); I've been meaning to get in touch with her a while back but it was only recently I bumped into her. I sat down with my friends by the bar and she ran up to me to say hello; she's a bartender there apparently. She seemed happy to see me; or at least that's what my friend's thought. We had little conversations throughout her shift and asks how come I haven't asked her to hang out (jokingly..?); I play along and tell her "Well, I don't have your number so--" She then grabs my phone and puts her number into it and says we should hang out.
The night continues, and just before we leave I ask her if she wanted to hang out after her shift; she says yes. We end up at some tea shop and everything is actually going pretty well we're laughing and reminiscing about the past and talking about stupid stuff. Proceeds to tell me how we should do more things together and go places together. After a little halt in our conversation, she tells me how she used to have the biggest crush on me. I told her I used to as well. I'm smitten at this point. The way her eyes light up when she talks and the way she smiles and laughs; this girl is adorable. The night ends and I take her home. Before she leaves she tells me to text her.
FAST FORWARD:
--Now keep in mind she's a fairly busy girl; she's working three jobs and pretty much only has one day free every week. Working early mornings to late nights, and still manages time to go to the gym. --
I text her the day after and say hi, conversation ensues. I build up to asking her when I'd see her again and then no reply. She clarified she wasn't working today or doing anything the night before.
Before you scold me, I know she has her own life and can do whatever she wants but I hate it when I'm consistently debating whether to press on or to give up. :( | Hung out with an old flame and the evening went pretty well. The date ends, tells me to text her. I text her the next day about seeing her again; no reply. |
t3_19no1b | relationships | [F/19] is sending me [M/21] extremely mixed messages. | Ok so for starters, I'm pretty much a completely inexperienced guy. Virgin, no relationships, not even hand holding. Which is why I want to make sure I don't fuck this up.
I met a girl a few weeks back at a common event that we've done together this semester in college, and she seems to like me. She's a foreign student, just came from Japan a few months back. I really do like her and she seems to like me back. She laughs at my jokes, we walk home from the same event together every day. She even initiated contact the first week by giving me her number and adding me on Facebook.
So I decided to ask her out. Here's how it went:
1) Asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with me on Valentine's Day. She said yes and then cancelled literally an hour before, because her friend was going through some serious issues that day. Okay, understandable.
2) A week later, asked her if she wanted to go to a scenic spot with me on Friday evening. I specifically used the word "date", and she said she would "love to come". The day before, she cancelled again because she said she had plans. She said she was free on Sunday instead, but I decided to turn it down because I didn't want to look too available.
I'm seeing her today again at the common event; what should be my next step? I'm honestly not sure if she likes me or what. She acts great when we're together, but then she wouldn't decline two dates in a row, right? Is she not attracted to me?
If she is attracted, how do I go about asking her a third time without seeming desperate? I know this doesn't look promising but I don't want to give up yet. Maybe she's not used to the dating scene here, since she's from overseas... | Girl seems to not want to go on dates but hasn't been clear about whether she's open to it or not. |
t3_24sdij | relationships | My boyfriend is getting jealous of my past, i am his first. Help please. | Me [19] and my boyfriend [19] have been dating for over a year now. I am his first girlfriend. He is my 4th proper boyfriend. I have had much more experience than he has.
The problem is the fact i have had sex with 3 other guys and kissed many, while the only person he has done anything with is me. He wants the relationship to be even.
I have told him that my past relationships have lead me to be the person i am, and hence lead me to date him. He also knows that he is the best person i have ever dated. But the problem is his lacking in experience. He wants to be on even terms but i am not willing to allow him to experience other women by putting our relationship on "hold". I have invested a lot into this relationship emotionally and so has he. He cannot seem to let it go either.
I just don't know what to do anymore. This problem really bugs him and is putting a huge strain on our relationship. Please help. I had no where else to go. | Boyfriend gets insanely jealous of my past relationships and wants to be on even terms experience wise. He doesn't want to cheat on me but its causing alot of trouble. |
t3_1vm5zq | relationships | I [21 M] am the "other man" with a [30 M] who's married, has kids, and is a closeted bisexual. | I came to know this guy over a year. He hadn't told me he was married until I found out.
He was raised fundamentalist Christian and is a combat veteran. He came clean to me and said that even before his marriage, he'd been cheating, and had strong social pressures to keep his bisexuality under wraps.
Now he wants to invite me over and see his kids and wife. He says he can get away with us cuddling together while everyone sleeps. He has a lot of fantasies about me; but at the same time, he never speaks badly about his wife. He says he loves her, but it's just he needs this one thing (a man) which she cannot fill. He wants to maintain a relationship with both her and me.
This sounds silly but...What would you do in my situation? Feelings aren't the easiest to disentangle. | I'm the "other" for the first time in a relationship that I thought was monogamous (between me and him) until I found out otherwise. What should I do? |
t3_2flqo7 | legaladvice | What will happen here? (CA) | This is in California. A pedestrian ran into my car, She ran across 3 lanes of traffic on an interstate that runs through town and she hit the side of my car.
I stopped my car, put on my hazards and tried to get her to stop. I yelled after her but she was still running away, towards a court house that was about 2 blocks away. I pulled over in a motel parking lot about a block or so away (the first chance I had to pull over) talked to the police and they filed an accident report, stated that they found her to be at fault. Did not give me a ticket.
About 30 min or so later, while I was still talking to the police officer, they found her at the court house, the cop stated that she was not injured (she was kind of limping a little as she ran away so I asked him.) And that her story matched ours pretty much. He said he was still finding her at fault and that is what he was putting down on the accident report. He gave me the case number or whatever and his card.
So I guess my questions are, is there any chance of my insurance rate going up? Could she hypothetically sue me and win a case against me? Even though I am not at fault, what will this do to my driving record? Could I have a chance at suing her for damaging my car (a dent on my hood) and then leaving? | Pedestrian ran across an interstate and hit the side of my car, I am found not at fault by the cops, what will this do to my driving record/insurance rate, and is a lawsuit a possibility? |
t3_i4qng | AskReddit | Am I being childish or am I in the right in acting like this? | I hate my mom.
I don't think it is irrational as I haven't always hated her, even after she did or said horrible things, I always tried to be understanding or assume I was being dramatic.
It has gotten to the point where I really don't even want to have anything to do with her. I always feel awkward when I'm around her, and everything she does, whether it is malicious or not, annoys the ever-loving shit out of me to the point where I just respond with apathy or disrespect and impatience.
She has basically ruined my siblings in I's lives in some aspects, as well as my father's. They *are* getting a divorce, so I want to be sure I'm not just feeling like I have to choose one parent over the other. I've disliked her for as long as I can remember and no good ever comes from seeing her. | should I suck it up and be nicer to my mom and endure seeing her because she is my mom, or can I say fuck it and keep her out of my life as much as I want. |
t3_gh2uo | AskReddit | Have you ever experienced flu-like symptoms after working out real hard? | Help me out here Reddit. I've been working out for about 3 years now (at least, that's how long I've been a member of my gym). But just within this past year, I've noticed that after a hard workout, I start to experience flu-like symptoms the next day. I ache all over, there's shivering, and sometimes diarrhea. These symptoms last the entire next day and sometimes into the day after.
Before, I have never considered connecting the two (working out, flu-like symptoms). I had always assumed I just had the flu. I looked it up online, found this question in a surprising amount of forums and each time it's been dismissed as "Oh, you have the flu. Did you go to bed with your hair wet? Did you wipe down the machine before you used it? Maybe you caught it from someone at the gym?" **But I don't think it's that simple.**
The first time it happened to me was last summer, I swam for the first time that summer for about an hour, and as hard as I could. The next day I thought the chlorine made me sick. Then it happened a month later after I went running outside and pushed myself to go farther than I usually go. After that it happened a few more times, especially when I started a new exercise, but it was winter and I assumed that I was getting sick all the time. And then it happened yesterday after I did intervals on the treadmill (I pushed myself hard), and it's finally clicked in my brain to connect these two things together.
I am a 30 year old female, pretty healthy overall, active enough, and haven't had any major health issues in the past. I am going to call my doctor on Monday, but I fear that he's just going to say "Oh, you just have the flu." | I get flu-like symptoms for two days after working out really hard, health forums think it's just the flu, I don't. |
t3_3w0tbq | relationships | My [25m] girlfriend [26f] of almost two years just found out that she's pregnant but I'm not ready for this. | My girlfriend of almost two years just found out that she is pregnant with my child. We had a long discussion about it; she really wants to keep and raise the baby. Its her body therefore it's her choice and since it's my child I'm obligated to help her raise it. Though I am unbelievably worried right now. There are so many things that I'm worried about.
I'm wondering if I should marry my girlfriend. I feel like a child would be raised better in a home with married parents and also it would be better for us as well. We already live together and we're obviously having sex so I'm thinking that I might as well do it. I'm just really apprehensive about the whole idea of marriage, I don't want to mess up. I also read that if you cohabit, your chances of a divorce when do you marry increase.
I'm also thinking about my girlfriend. She has a history of trauma and depression. It's under control but I still worry. I'm worried that she might get that type of depression that comes along with being pregnant and having children. I don't know if pregnancy will end up being too painful and tiring for her, and I'm worried that I might not be supportive enough for her.
I don't think I would be a good father either. I'm still learning about the world and figuring out things about myself. How could I help someone else navigate and analyze the world when I'm not completely sure how to do so myself? I'm scared that I might spoil my child or be too strict with them, I won't be able to find a good in-between point. Will I be able to care for them in every way I can?
I'm freaking out a little, guys. I can't bring this new human into the world yet. I need more than nine months to prepare for this.
I need advice and consolation. I'm really, really anxious. | My girlfriend is pregnant and she plans to keep the baby. I'm mainly stressed out about her, marriage, and being a good father. I'm losing it right now |
t3_16qih2 | jobs | How do you stay positive after being rejected from so many jobs? | I just received an email from a non-profit saying I was not chosen out of the final applicants for the position I interviewed. I am very bummed out because I was very optimistic about this interview out of all my six months of unemployment. For this job, I did within a two months span: a phone interview; in-person interview with one staff member and the program director; and lastly a three hour interview which included a case study, meeting with the program director (again) and executive director, then presenting my case study to the staff members.
I felt very positive at the end of each interview so I was upset to read that I did not make it on to the next level. I decided to email them back by thanking them for the opportunity and for any feedback on any points I should improve on. I am really bummed out because I have been unemployed since I graduated with my Master's in May. I am trying to get a career in working with K-12 students and am aware how hard this field is currently right now in America. I haven't been this bummed out for months so I was wondering what do you guys do when in this situation? I, honestly, am just thinking about giving up on this dream and pursuing in something else just so I can progress and feel some self-worth. | I just got a rejection letter from a job after going through three interviews. I am bummed out and was wondering what you guys do to feel better? |
t3_kny0m | travel | Travelling to Vietnam/Cambodia this (Southern hemisphere) summer, but have a dilemma | I'll be flying (probably solo) into Bangkok from Melbourne on December 1st, and back out on February 9th, which is exactly ten weeks apart. I plan to leisurely work my way overland across Cambodia, up through Vietnam, across to Laos and then back down Bangkok during that time using trains and buses.
The dilemma is that I have the opportunity to fly to Dubai for a week during that time with the flight paid for (and accommodation provided) by a family member who lives there. Most likely this would mean flying in and out of Hanoi some time around Jan 15-22.
I haven't been to Dubai before and I'm certainly interested in going, but I'm not sure if this trip will be the best time to go. I don't want to spoil the leisureliness of the trip by needing to get into Hanoi in time for the flight (particularly if the alternative is not necessarily caring when I get into Hanoi and just working my way up the Vietnamese coastline more casually.)
Besides rushing my way around and missing out on things I could have experienced if I had been moving more slowly and "with the flow" of the trip for want of a better expression, I'm worried that breaking up the trip and applying added time commitments by flying into Dubai might ruin the organic nature of the journey.
On the other hand, I don't want to pass up a paid-for trip to a part of the world I haven't been to. There might be the same opportunity in the future, but then again there may not be.
I'm leaning towards declining the offer, but I nevertheless feel this might be the wrong decision and am hoping somebody might be able to help with a bit of advice. | I'm travelling Indochina this southern summer for 10 weeks, and I have the opportunity to fly to Dubai for free for a week in the middle of the trip. I'm unsure whether to take up the opportunity. |
t3_41sjy5 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my fiance [25F], pretty much dead bedroom unless she initiates. | Hello Reddit,
Little backstory. I have been with my fiancé for 6+ years and engaged for 5 months now. First year to year and half we couldn't keep our hands off each other. But then we started to decrease a little bit but this makes since the relationship was past honeymoon faze. At about the 2.5 year mark she wanted a break. This was a huge hit to me but we eventually worked through it and now engaged. Over the years it's seeming we have less and less of a physical relationship. We now live together for about a year and half now.
Current. Recently it has turned into more and more that anytime I try to initiate anything physical I almost always get a excuse. Sometimes she will initiate but this is almost like the only time we have a physical relationship. Granted this good "physical time" and I enjoy it but it's like the only time this happens. There have been a few times where I have been able to initiate but it's very rare now. Also the hardest part is I am easily turned on and she knows this. She knows my buttons and she presses them a lot to give mixed signals. When she does this I think she is saying go but when I go for it I misread.
I find myself masterbating more recently to just feel some physicality. I want to talk to her about this but I don't want to sound like I only love her for her body. I truly love this girl and I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with her. I just want to not keep feeling that I'm not sexy or physically arrousing. How can I talk to her about this? | Feeling like I have a dead bedroom and it is starting to make me not feel attractive. Don't want to sound like I am only in relationship for her body. |
t3_45p603 | relationship_advice | I [20, F] broke up with my bf [21] and now feel horribly guilty | I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I did this because I'd fallen out of love, because there were incompatible differences in our personalities, and because I wanted to explore other romantic possibilities. Neither of us ever cheated or anything like that. Although I no longer feel romantically attached to my ex, he's still important to me. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything. He has this quirkiness that I love, and I definitely want him in my life.
He took things well when we first broke up. He agreed that we should stay friends. But the next day, I had to go by his place to drop some stuff off, and he flipped out. He spent 5 hours trying to convince me to come back. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch him cry and beg. I went home later that evening and just sobbed. I knew that I'd made the right decision, but I felt like a monster. I'd tried to be as kind and sympathetic as I could during the breakup, but I'd apparently still managed to inflict so much pain. This evening, I went on a date with a guy that I'd met on Tinder. My date mentioned doing something that coincidentally used to be something that my ex and I used to do, and it triggered something in me. I went home and just bawled my eyes out for an hour. I tried calling my ex over and over, not to get back together, but because I just needed to hear his voice. He's still dear to me, and I miss him.
I want to move on. I want to meet other men. But I just feel this intense guilt and sadness inside me. I desperately want my ex to be a part of my life. How do I cope with this? This is my first breakup. I didn't think it would be this bad since I initiated it, but I was wrong. | I recently broke up with my bf of 2 years. How do I deal with the guilt and sadness I'm feeling right now? |
t3_3v47f4 | tifu | TIFU by trying to use Instagram | I recently got a new job, and on my first day I saw a really attractive guy in the office, and today I found him on Instagram using the work directory and by searching through a bunch of work people's followers for literally two hours.
Being the idiot that I am, I went to his profile, looked at it, and kept scrolling down through his older pictures. I found a picture of him and his niece that I thought was adorable, took a screenshot to show my friend, and later that day I pulled it up again when I saw said friend in person.
I tried to zoom in (dunno why, probably liked one of his moles or something) but for some reason it wasn't working. After a few minutes of trying I realized that instead of pulling up the picture I screenshot, I pulled up his actual Instagram page (was still open in a different window) to the actual photo of him, and I had been repeatedly liking and unliking his picture for about 3 minutes.
A few minutes later his Instagram profile mysteriously changed to private.
I am completely mortified, and realized today that because of the department he is in (that I now know because of Instagram) he will likely be training me tomorrow. | Found new coworker on Instagram, creeped the shit out of him, got caught. Also realized I might be slightly crazy. |
t3_11qnue | offmychest | I was born in Asia but emigrated at a young age to a western country. The cultural differences of the two countries are enough for me to feel like I don't 100% 'belong' in either society. | I am of purely central Asian descent and thus I blatantly look Asian. It is visually blatant that I'm not 'from' the predominantly Caucasian western country I immigrated to, grew up and currently reside in. It's not a common occurrence for Caucasian people to assume that I have limited language knowledge as nearly all (by nearly I mean all but maybe 4) of my friends that I associate with the most are all Caucasian and I don't dress like a fresh immigrant (the different countries have slightly different fashion trends etc). I feel quite at home in this country because it's where I've been raised and where I'm most familiar with, but there's still just part of me that doesn't feel quiiiite right here.
However, growing up in a western society I am not 100% proficient in my native tongue, it has affected some of my mannerisms, dress sense among other things and so when go back to Asia to visit family I don't feel like I really 'belong' there either. This western influence must be pretty blatant as during my most recent visit it was very common for the local people to ask about what country I was visiting from; it even got to the extent where some would guess that I was half Asian and half Caucasian.
Can't help feel like I'm caught between the two cultures and that I don't truly 'fit in' either of them.
Always had slight trouble trying to talk to friends and have them understand this feeling as most of the Asian friends I do have either feel like their right at home here or don't feel so removed when they visit their respective native countries and my Caucasian friends don't quite understand either as they feel that I'm so westernised that it's sometimes hard for them to fathom that I wasn't born here. Never really been able to fully communicate this feeling, even this looooong ass post doesn't quite put across the confusion. Regardless, feelsgoodman.jpg. | Asian who grew up in a western society. Blatant that I'm not Caucasian but Asian's don't think I'm Asian so I don't feel 'right' anywhere. |
t3_4uirjp | relationships | My (24F) ex-bf (24M) and I recently broke up due to distance. | My (24F) ex-bf (24M) and I recently broke up due to distance. I lived in NH and he lives in seatlle We had been together a little under a year (always long distance) and I was accepted to a program across the country from him in NC that was 3 years in duration. I missed him a lot and felt like 3 years was a long time for a LDR. He agreed eventually and we broke up so that one day we'd have another chance at our relationship without a nasty breakup. I regretted it instantly and tried to win him back but he said no and that we both needed time.
About a week before I was to leave for school I realized it was all wrong for me and decided not to go. My ex supported my decision at first but a month later texted me that he was mad at my decision bc he thought I was considering not going the whole time
Now by a twist of fate Ive been recruited for a research dev job on the West Coast. I dont want to pass up the opportunity but I almost might bc as it gets closer it hurts. I contacted my ex thinking he'd be excited we finally would be in the same area but all he responded was good luck. Im so lost and hurt as it has only been about 3-4 months since we broke up. I have see pictures that suggest he might be back with another ex. I have decided to move on is probably best but need advice on how to deal with all this regret and hurt. We ended on such good terms when we broke up but now that I didnt go to school, but am instead moving to an area near him he is upset. Its hard bc we had always planned so much if we ever lived near eachother. I sent him 3 texts since June (which was only 1.5 months after we broke up) expressing my feelings and he only responded to one saying he was hurt and moving on was probably the right thing to do. | my LDR ex and I broke up due to distance and now that we will be in the same area he wants nothing to do with me |
t3_4hry43 | relationships | I [23M] was matched with and was messages by a girl [23F] on OkCupid *and* Tinder, but I'm not hearing back after asking her to get coffee. Should I follow up? | So a few months ago, I was talking with this girl on OkCupid and we were a pretty great match. However, I had stuff with school and didn't really know how to continue the conversation (I suck at online messaging) so I dropoed the ball on the conversation.
A month or so later, I randomly match with her on Tinder, and she starts the conversation saying (paraphrased) 'We have a lot of mutual friends and we're a great match on OkCupid'
Since I suppose she's into me, I just straight up ask if she wants to get coffee, which in retrospect was probably stupid. I say verbatim:
> Hey again! Such good people on our mutual friends list – I just saw [mutual friend] today
> Sorry for being the worst at responding on OkC. Haven't had much time to come up with ~*witty messages*~ and stuff
> I'm slightly more responsive in person, want to get coffee next week?
This was about two weeks ago. She hasn't responded yet, and I feel like now would be a decent time to send a follow-up *if it isn't weird to send a follow-up*. I worry that I assumed that I could ask her out for a coffee but that it wasn't far along enough for me to ask that or something and she doesn't want to respond since I asked too early.
But it's weird since she initiated the conversation so I guessed she was at least somewhat interested. But I also don't want to be that weird guy that does an uncomfortable follow up message. What do you think? | Girl messages me on OkCupid, then again on Tinder, I ask her out, she doesn't repond, wondering if I should follow up. |
t3_4h9ksn | relationships | My (22/f) husband (23/m) is angry at me for talking to my best friend about our sex life over texts. | My best friend and I talk constantly. She lives hours away, so we are always texting. Both of us are open books and not weirded out by anything, so we share everything from poop to sex stories.
Last night, she texted me back about something sex related and my husband read the message on my lock screen while I wasn't in the room and got mad that I was talking to her about this stuff.
He's now telling me that I'm self centered and now he knows he can't be open with me about anything and won't do it from now on now that he knows that I "talk about our sex like to everyone I come into contact with."
I told him that we are married adults and if I choose to talk about sex in a private conversation with my best friend, I should be allowed to. I explained that he can't control what I talk to people about or whether anyone talks about him, whether it's about sex in this situation, or anything else. If someone wants to talk about you, they are going to.
Another thing to note was that I was telling my friend about something funny that had happened, it wasn't like I had measured his dick and told her the exact length of it and then talked about how awful our sex is. It was a light hearted conversation. In addition, my friend will say the same things to me about her sex life- I'm not just a perv forcing my sex talk on her.
Is my husband wrong to be so angry with me about something silly or am I being awful by wanting to talk to someone outside of our relationship about sex? | husband is mad I talk to best friend about sex, even though it's in a positive, light hearted way. Am I wrong or is he? Is there a compromise we can come to? |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.