id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_1ngcbr | relationships | I (21F) just found out that my SO (21M) has a three month old daughter, and that his ex wants them to get back together and be a family | So we have been dating for about six months, which isn't terribly long in the grand scheme of things, but its the best relationship i've ever had, we've never had any problems before this, and i genuinely love him.
With that being said, his ex shows up out of the blue and presents to him his daughter that he didnt know about and wants them to get back together. He said no of course, because the reason they broke up is because she cheated on him with a slew of guys and then moved in with someone else. I know what youre thinking, but he took a paternity test, and surprise: the baby is his.
He wants to be a dad now (which i fully support and think is commendable) but she is being very manipulative saying things like she will only let him see his daughter if he spends time with her first, etc. She also insists that i am not allowed anywhere near her daughter for no good reason other than jealousy. I obviously would like to be in this little girls life, as i love my boyfriend and would like to end up with him, making me her eventual step mother hypothetically.
I dont know what to do, i need advice!! He has tried to reason with her and he doesnt want to take her to court if he doesnt have to but she is making things so difficult for us. | Boyfriends ex shows up with a surprise infant, wants to break us up and get him back, and is making our lives difficult because of it |
t3_11a5up | personalfinance | Accidentally opened 2 credit card accounts (same card)- will closing one account hurt my credit score/should I just keep both? | Hi, r/personalfinance! I recently got approved for a credit card that I really wanted. The next day after being approved, I called the company and asked if I could have a MC instead of the default VISA, thinking the rep would just harmlessly switch some numbers, which was what it sounded like. I get my card today and it's a VISA. I call the company and the rep informs me that I have 2 open accounts -- one VISA, one MC. He tells me that it shouldn't hurt my credit score to close the VISA account since the card is brand new and I hadn't used it or activated it. I wanted to get some advice from you good people before I proceed. I'm afraid it might look badly because of the short time before opening and closing. | Through miscommunication, I now have 2 new credit card accounts. Is it safe to close one or should I just keep both? |
t3_3dbild | relationships | M24 - I used to pretend I was a girl online - I'm so ashamed of it, and afraid | I used to be very lonely and the internet was where I escaped to. Since I was a guy, nobody cared to talk with me. When I started using a feminine persona in chatrooms, I started getting attention.
I enjoyed talking with the guys, and the sexual tension (I'm straight though); sometimes, they masturbated, and sometimes I used random pics from the internet to send them saying it was me.
Some guys grew emotionally attached, and that was when I started freaking out.
"What the **** am I doing?"
I stopped it months back, but I've been suffering from extreme bouts of anxiety because of it. I just did it out of loneliness, and I never set out to hurt anyone... But when I realized what I was doing, I immediately started to feel sick.
Now I'm always thinking about it, and afraid that sometime later I'm going to get a knock at my door from the police. I wish I could atone for this, sometimes I even think of going straight to the police and tell them this (although I'd get laughed off the police station).
I know what I did was extremely wrong, and it hurts so much that I can't take it back.
Although I'm probably being paranoid, I can't stop thinking that the police is going to come after me eventually.
Also, I want to say that I never talked with minors, recorded anyone or stuff like that. I just wanted the attention. It felt good... now it feels horrible. It's like a living nightmare inside of my head.
I have never regretted something this much, and I live in fear that sometime in the future this is going to destroy my life. | I used to pretend I was a girl online while talking with guys. Now I suffer from crushing anxiety because of it. |
t3_4ddhmn | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] 3.4 years, another woman [28 F] told me I have a child. | Just venting I know I fucked up really bad and but I just need advice.
So about 3 years ago I met an amazing woman I'll call her (Claire) at a friend's wedding. We hit it off right away and at the end of the night we were already dating.
It's been amazing and we've talked about marriage and children and our future. I really fucked up though really really bad and I'm not even sure if she'll speak to me after I tell her.
5 years before my relationship.
I had to leave for 2 weeks for business I dreaded it because I didn't want to leave for that long. Among me was also 2 other coworkers (Josh) he's been married for 11 years.
And (Aliya) she's very beautiful.
Josh kept to himself and was just with us to get the job done and then would go back to his hotel room. Me and Aliya stayed and talked and had fun we got to know each other more.
The last night of our trip we got too drunk I took her back to her room but she wanted me to stay. We were both sitting on her bed and talking until she leaned in and kissed me and I kissed back. We slept together three times with no protection.
I thought that was it and that I'd never see her again I did like her but that was a long time ago. Well she contacted me a few days ago asking me to meet with her because it was important.
She told me about my daughter (amber) and that she needs support she's willing to get a DNA test. She said she got laid off recently and needs help she'll give me a few days to process all of this.
I have no fucking clue what to do this will destroy my relationship probably. I didn't cheat though we slept together way before I met my girlfriend. | my life was going good I have an amazing girlfriend and we are planning our future together but a co-worker I slept with contacted me and told me about my daughter I didn't know I had and needs support. |
t3_3nb0o9 | askwomenadvice | Is what she wears when we're together a sign that she likes me? | I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I'm a 21 year old guy and I've been hanging out with this nearly 21 year old girl I've known for a while. We get along famously, but it's hard for me to tell if I'm just a good friend of hers or something more. Anyway, a while back she discovered that I have a bit of a 'thing' for girls wearing pajamas. We reconnected recently and I noticed that if we hang out any time after about 6-7 o clock, most of the time she'll come over wearing her pjs. Is she trying to tell me something or is she just trying to be comfy? Would you wear something that you know turns a guy on if he's just your friend if it's something that you would normally wear at some point anyway?
Thanks! | I think girls in pjs are attractive and she knows this, she wears pjs a lot when we hang out, want to know if there's anything to it or she's just trying to be comfay. |
t3_u8cq8 | relationships | I finally met someone who's perfect - But life sucks. (Throw away) | Throw away cause i knew he's a redditor as well;
I'm 20yo and after 3 long relationships all of them turning out to be complete duds, I found someone and within 2 months I've oddly fallen for him. We've sat day in and day out talking for hours on end learning just about everything there is to know about each other and we both accept each other and our flaws. He has all the morals and shares the same views on just about everything, I know it sounds cliche for falling so quickly but yeah.
He's pretty much conservative, kind, genuine and very accepting of who I am and he's told me that he shares the same feelings as I do. All in all, there's obviously a catch. He apparently was here just for a few months while I met him. While I live west coast he lives almost 2,000 miles away... And he's leaving to completely east coast for the next few months before he goes back home.
Naturally, I'm more than upset. He's completely amazing and everything I've always wanted, Like I said he's told me he does like me and hopes he don't drift apart due to our living arrangements. He's promised to visit and call/skype the whole long distance relationship thing but There's a lot I can't give up here where I live and the same goes for him, Knowing that if we do get into any type of relationship we know one of us is going to have to give up so much. Knowing this I'm not quite sure if it's a good idea to keep going. I can give more details upon requested but I just need someones incite on this. | I've fallen head over heels for someone who lives 2k miles away. If we go any further one of us has to give up everything to move, What do? |
t3_d6pqt | AskReddit | Is my boyfriend justified in being angry because I suggested I was curious about being a camgirl? | A friend of mine makes $300/day working for a few hours from home, and she has no problems with it... so I was curious and looked into it a little bit. I found out its actually quite safe, and couples can make a lot of money. My boyfriend and I had joked about making porn before so I wanted to know what he thought about it.
We were in a restaurant reading an article about online escorts when I told him about my friend's work. I suggested that I had looked into it out of curiosity, and that I would only ever do it if he did it with me. I hadn't seriously considered it, but I didn't see the harm if we were together, and if we could make some money to go travelling. He freaked out. We've been together for two years and I think this might end the relationship.
I feel stupid for bringing it up and feel that it was my own misguided, deviant curiosity. What can I do reddit? | My friend is a webcam girl and got me curious about it. I suggested my boyfriend and I do it together, and now he isn't speaking to me. Is he right to be angry? |
t3_4vano9 | relationships | I think my friend's gf [24F] is flirting with me [25M] | So my friend met this girl online about a year ago. He introduced me to her a few months ago and we got along pretty well. Saw her a few more times at dinners and the like with my friend, so I added her on Facebook. She immediately accepted and messaged me how she was happy we were now fb friends. We didn't really message much until she started asking me questions about my friend/her bf. I made sure not to say too much and kept to the message that he's a cool guy and she should ask him directly.
Then one day she tells me my friend lied to her, she's mad at him, starts asking me if I think he really likes her - I avoid responding directly and she realizes she shouldn't really be taking to me about these things. Fast forward to a few weeks later, she texts me (not fb) despite me never having given her my number. She says she's out shopping with my friend and she's bored and would I please come join them. I decline despite her insisting, but then text my friend and he invites me to join them for dinner so I do.
It comes up in conversation that I have a celebrity crush on a particular actress. She says she also loves said actress. A few days later she texts me and asks why I like this actress - looks, personality? I say a bit of both. Then she says "well don't you think I'm kind of like that actress? We have the same hair and eye color and are about the same height, and I think our personalities are similar. Do you think that's your type of girl?" I respond kind of vaguely and changed the subject.
She also has taken a habit of sometimes talking to me about emotional issues at work and with her family.
Finally I should mention that she does seem to really be into my friend. She does act really friendly towards me but maybe she's just like that with everyone? I didn't think she was being flirty until that bit with the actress. | Friend's gf texts me a lot and asked me if I thought she was my type. Am I crazy or should I be concerned with where this is going? |
t3_myeji | relationships | Am I wrong for kicking my girlfriend out? | Ok, I'm 20, she's 19. We've been dating for just over 2 years. She lives in a dorm but spends a lot of her free time at my apartment.
Here's the story:
Today, while I was at work, she went over to my friends' apartment (4 guys, 3 single [my friends, not really hers]) and slept. Then, she went out to eat with a couple of them and one of their girlfriend's (the not single guy). We text all the time while I'm at work and she's at home, but she failed to mention any of this while I was at work. Tonight, whilst I was playing with her, she mentioned it passively like it was no big deal. I was really bothered by this so I asked her to leave. "My dorm has no heat, what do you expect me to do?", I reply with "Not my problem, please leave". Long story short and a little calm back and forth, she left. Now she's talking about breaking up and blah blah blah she does this every time we fight. She kept asking me why I can't talk to her about this... "You never want to talk!", etc. I told her, "You told me what happened, I asked you to leave for a night so I can get over this. I know what happened; There's nothing else to talk about".
Am I in the *wrong* for kicking her out? I don't really suspect cheating but I want to set the precedence that sleeping at my friends' apt is not alright. Also, sleeping at my friends' and not telling me, is *really* not alright!
I tried to condense this as much as possible so I will answer any questions asked. Any help would truly be appreciated.
Thanks | My girlfriend slept at my friends' apartment while I was at work and didn't tell me until 6 hours later. I kicked her out for the night. Was that the right thing to do? |
t3_3r9iv2 | travel | Disabled parent forgotten by Greyhound staff, is the compensation offered normal? | Hello everyone, I apologize if this is the wrong sub to put this, but I figured that people who are well traveled would have a good insight into the situation. If there is a more appropriate sub to post this, a link would be greatly appreciated.
My mother (59) was scheduled to take a Greyhound bus from Phoenix, AZ to Albuquerque, NM today. She is physically disabled, and was put by greyhound staff into a separate waiting area (instead of having her wait in line) where they would retrieve her when the bus arrived to wheel her to the bus, assist her with getting on, and ensuring that she got on before other passengers/had access to the handicap seating at the front of the bus.
A greyhound worker came and got her bags to be loaded on the bus, and said she would be returning to get my mother when the bus was ready to load passengers. My mother went to the restroom (#1), and got a drink from a vending machine and returned to the same seating area. After a time (she had her phone off to conserve battery, so amount of time is unknown), she noticed through the glass that there were much fewer people in the station, so she went and asked if the bus was loading passengers already.
Turns out that the bus had recently left, with her luggage, but without her. The staff spent some time trying to figure out what happened, then they found the employee who was supposed to return for my mom and she admitted to having forgotten that she was supposed to return for her.
They are putting her on the next bus that comes to Albuquerque, which departs almost 6 hours after her original bus did, and the only compensation they have offered her is a $7.50 food voucher. To us, that is completely unacceptable. Is this normal compensation for such a screw up? Her bus won't be getting here until 3am, so I'm unsure if there will be anyone available at the bus station to speak to about this when I pick her up, or if I should just call either Greyhound customer service or their "Assistance for customers with disabilities" number tomorrow. | Disabled parent forgotten about by Greyhound staff and bus leaves without her, next bus is 6 hours later and only compensation offered is a $7.50 food voucher. |
t3_4i51wz | relationships | [Personal Issues] My buddy [m/23] wants to show me [m/24] how to get women. He is a total douchebag, but I am desperate. | Hi /r/relationships!
To clearify the situation, here is a bit of the backstory.
Also I am not a native speaker, sorry for eventual mistakes.
I have a huge circle of friends and we party a lot together. One of them, let's call him Jake, is not one of the closest friends of mine, but a good friend of one of my closest friends.
I like Jake, he is a chill guy, but when it comes to girls, he acts like a total douchbag. He constantly talks down on women, sees them as sex toys and he is absolutey successful with it.
I know that he doesn't talk shit, because I saw a lot of times, how he hits on women and I know some girls he slept with.
I am the complete opposite of him. I am horrible with women. As long as I can think, girls made fun of me, insulted me when I asked them out and was the joke of the day in general for them.
I'd have to lie, If I say I am ok with this. I reached a point where I'd do anything to get the attention of a girl. I know it sounds desperate, but I guess I am desperate.
My other friends tried to give me some advice and I really appreciate that! They've told me to keep beeing friendly and keep beeing myself. I guess this worked for them, but never for me.
So last week we had a party and Jake walked up to me and told me that he would show me how to "get girls want to fuck you". He invited me to go out next weekend with him and he guaranteed me to get laid.
I appreciate his offer, but I don't know if I should accept it. I get a guilty conscience relatively fast, but then again, I am really desperate.
I don't know if I should go out with him and try to hit on girls his way. | I am horrible with girls and a buddy of me wants to show me how to hit on girls, but he is an abusive douchebag. |
t3_hshgt | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm about to go into my senior year in high school and am beginning to get very stressed out. How can I, and other students in similar situations, deal with this sort of anxiety? | I need to do well in school, I need to get good SAT scores, I need to get into a good college, I need to get a good paying white collar job, all these thoughts are starting to pile up at the end of my most important year of high school and I **don't** know how to deal with it.
I know I'm not the only one out there who feels this way. All of the reality checks are hitting me at once, I'm almost out of high school, I have no idea where I am going to college, etc. I think my stress level is becoming increasingly unhealthy and I don't know how to cope.
I want to be successful, but I'm having more and more trouble wrapping my mind around all the different things I need to do in order to be so. | How can one deal with excessive amounts of stress and anxiety regarding school in general and their future as a soon to be adult? |
t3_13nrcf | Dogtraining | Very fearful rescue dog. Runs away at the sight of us | Hi all, I'm really desperate for some help here.
We picked up our rescue dog Kenny from his carer today and as soon as he was off the leash in our back yard, he got super scared and runs away at the sight of us. When we met him the first time, he was fine with me but wouldn't go near my husband then when we picked him up today he was jumping up on both of us and really affectionate. He was also really good on the car ride home, just really chilled out. As soon as he got to our house and after he had a sniff around, I let him off the leash so he could explore and do his thing. He came up to me once or twice when I called him, but now he runs away at the sight of us. and won't let us near him. We tried tempting him with food and his ball, but he's not interested. Something in his brain just switched from "These people give me pats" to "RUN AWAY!" in about 5 minutes while we were just sitting in the yard watching him run around and wee on everything. We've tried calling his carer but the calls keep going right to voice mail so we've gotten nothing from her yet. I did some Googling and we tried approaching him with food quietly and averting our eyes and I even tried just sitting on the ground quietly looking away with food and he just stared at me the whole time. My husband is just on the phone now with our regular vet getting advice as well.
A bit of background on Kenny: He's a 3 year old Border Collie x Husky. His carer said she believes he's from a home where the father of the family used pretty severe positive punishment. | 3 year old border collie x husky went from really friendly to terrified in about 5 minutes of being brought home. Hasn't been aggressive, but runs at the sight of my husband and I. |
t3_1l5rrl | relationships | Me[32M] has a crush on classmate [22F] - studying abroad - should i tell her? | I recently went back to university, studying abroad. We are about 50 in our class, different nationalities. We have been here for 3 years and have 3 to go. We study in a country where we don´t speak the language and therefore interact little with other than our classmates. Sometimes a little with the junior or senior students. But mostly just our classmates, because of our schedule. As you can see there is we are small group and there has already been some "drama" within it, its like a small town; everybody knows everything. Mean age (without me) is about 23.
Now i have started hanging out with this a bit younger girl, 10 years to be exact. She is from my home country and we get along great; watching movies, study group, taking long walks and have deep discussions etc... And i've fallen a little for her.
Now; how or should i proceed?
I'm not sure the feeling is mutual. She has a lot of guy friends, and she probably only see me as a friend. Although she is a little naive some times, and a bit "young and restless", we have a lot in common. And we are both very sporty, active and outgoing.
Im just very unsure, i don't want to make any bad vibes down here, i have to stay here for 3 more years. (and i'm a but scarred from my previous relationship before moving down here)
Any advice? | Im 32, she is 22 - Have a crush - Class mate, studying abroad - Don't want to risk drama or bad vibes in our small "community". |
t3_4xtwwi | weddingplanning | Our first bit of unnecessary drama (rant/vent/long) | This past weekend, I had my bachelorette party and it was AMAZING. I don't know if I've ever felt that special.
My mom and FH's mom were there for some of the weekend, so we were discussing random wedding events like the rehearsal dinner. We have some family that's coming from a different country and we feel so special and really appreciate that they're making the trip. But, they aren't invited to our rehearsal dinner. We decided a long, long time ago that it would just be our wedding party and parents. Apparently, this wasn't widely known. FMIL didn't know. FMIL is a wonderful person, but she can be stubborn and bossy. She got noticeably upset when I said they weren't invited. A comment was made about how they're traveling so far that it would be insane not to invite them. She was nice enough to not bring it up again for the rest of the weekend, but then she called FH yesterday. And hung up on him after he wouldn't give in.
I understand her reasoning, but we are doing a dinner the Thursday before the wedding with just FMIL's family and my immediate family. The out of town family would be the only ones at the rehearsal dinner. FH's dad is paying for the rehearsal dinner (FMIL and FFIL were never married, basically their romantic relationship ended when FH was born). FMIL thought it was because of money and offered to pay for their dinners. That would just open up a giant can of awkwardness and embarrassment for FH's dad.
The kicker in all of this? My first fitting is today. And the only person that'll be with me? FMIL. | People say it's your wedding and you get to make all the decisions. Until you make the "wrong" decision, then it's the end of the world. |
t3_v3vw3 | relationships | 23f/24m; Been seeing a bigger guy, and he wants a relationship. The only way I'd consider it is if he'd lose weight. Should I be upfront? | Me 23f, him 24m
I've been seeing this guy for about a month. When we first met we got along very well. We slowly got to know each other and it escalated into us turning into cuddle buddies, and eventually FWB.
I've never met anybody that can make me laugh so hard and so often, and I think he feels the same (considering we are constantly making each other laugh and smile). When we go out in public our attitudes are generally on a friendship level, but once things hit the bedroom, we are all over each other.
Lately he's been asking me where I see us going, hinting that he'd like a relationship. Well, I feel shallow as hell, but the only way I'd consider it is if he'd lose some weight. He's by no means obese, but he's a bigger guy for sure. He's 6'5" and about 320-330 lbs. I love his personality and I feel like he'll treat me very well and be a great partner, but I just can't get past the weight, if we're going to get into a relationship.
Well, my question is this: should I be straightforward about my expectations? Or should I just turn him down and not tell him the real reason to spare his feelings?
I've been asking myself why I feel this way, and I think I've come to the conclusion that I care about what other people think. I'm pretty attractive and skinny, and I'd like to at least look like I have standards, physically. Am I shallow? Do I not deserve him? Any advice or honesty appreciated | attracted to overweight guy, but will only give the relationship thing a try if he loses weight. Not sure if it is worth telling him that. |
t3_3fnybm | tifu | TIFU buying hemorrhoid cream | As with many TIFUs, this did not happen today.
While arriving to a music venue before one of my band's gigs, I noticed my car was overheating. Being an irresponsible person that already had a few drinks on the way to the show (first fuck up), I decided I would open the radiator cap before allowing the car to completely cool off (second fuck up). I understood the dangers involved but decided I would be fine if I used a rag and slowly let the steam out before removing the cap. I had it under control for a minute before the cap shot out of my hand and coolant sprayed me in the face and soaked the right arm of my sweatshirt. I quickly washed my face off with puddle water and then realized my sweatshirt was stuck to my right arm, burning it badly. I removed my sweatshirt and rinsed my right arm off but it was too late. I would find out shortly after that about 60% of my right arm suffered 2nd degree burns.
In a ridiculous amount of pain, I ran to a CVS down the street to purchase some burn cream, gauze, tape and whatever first aid products I thought I would need. This is when I learned that there are like 1000 different types of burn cream, all with specific applications. I was in too much pain to focus and grabbed supplies as quickly as I could.
When I got to the cash register, the employee initiated small talk, asking how I was. I throw the cream on the counter and exclaim "worst burn of my life". Keep in mind, at this point, there were no signs of a burn other than the look of pain on my face. My arm wasn't showing any indication of a burn yet, other than a little redness that was hidden by my tattoos.
It wasn't until I went outside and gave the supplies to a helping friend that I was informed I purchased hemorrhoid cream while telling the girl at the register that I had the worst burn of my life. | Burned my arm opening the radiator of an overheating car, purchased hemorrhoid cream at a CVS while telling the girl at the register that I had the worst burn of my life. |
t3_mq5i2 | AskReddit | My roommate has her boyfriend and his kid over all the time, is it unreasonable for me to feel uncomfortable? How should I deal with this? | I'm a 22 year old female, my roommate is 24 year old female. I moved in in May, at which time she didn't have a boyfriend. During the summer they started dating and he was over more and more often. It didn't really bother me all that much because I spend a lot of time in my room anyway. I just felt a little crowded from time to time.
Now, not only does he come over and stay over 3 or 4 times per week, he also brings his 6 year old daughter over a couple days a week. I'll be honest, I'm really not a fan of kids, and this one whines a lot. I can't help but overhear this from my room, and it annoys me. When they're all here I'm way less likely to come out of my room because it's crowded in the living room and I don't really want to encounter them. The apartment is small, meant for 2 people at the most. I was not happy with her boyfriend being over all the time, but it's her name on the lease, not mine, and he's a nice guy so I didn't say anything. But now there's this annoying kid here all the time.
I like the apartment a lot, this is the major downside, along with the fact that my roommate is the self centered type and can often be kind of a bitch. What bothers me most is that he has his own place with no roommates, I'm guessing that they come here because either the apartment I'm living in is nicer than his, or because it's much closer to downtown. Perhaps both. | Small apartment, roommate's boyfriend over several days per week, and now he brings his annoying kid too. He has his own place with no roommates, but it's much further from downtown. I feel crowded. |
t3_198y0t | relationships | Am I[19F] leading him[19M] on by not knowing where things are going? | My boyfriend[19M] and I[19F] have been dating almost 6 months now and he and I both grew up in families that believe after 5 or 6 months you should know where you stand in a relationship, and what the future is. When he asked me out, he was my best friend who I kind of liked but wasn't sure of and now I do like him but I know that he loves me(He's said it more than once). I can't return that statement.
I feel like our friendship really hasn't evolved into relationship beyond the addition of the physical aspects. He has also become very jealous of the time I spend in the programs I do, and with my male friends. He doesn't like that I have a lot of guy friends while all of his friends beyond his roommates are female(his best friend is his ex-girlfriend). He has to talk to me every night before we go to bed, and regularly during the day. He is very sweet as well don't get me wrong but some of these things are overwhelming at times. And one minor thing which shouldn't matter to me at all but still does....he's 5'8" while I am 6'2" which means there is an uncomfortable difference in height between us that most people comment on(negatively).
This is my first serious relationship out of school that is not abusive in anyway. He has been extremely helpful in being patient as I learned to trust men again after I was raped by my ex. He's always been there for me but I'm caught at that place whether our relationship is truly anything more than a deep friendship.
He keeps talking about the future, where we will live and what I'll be doing since his job will let him go pretty much anywhere. And he has mentioned the possibility of marriage in the future but not being ready for it at this time and I don't know what I want.
How do I broach this with him? Do I break up with him in order to save his heart? I don't want to continue keeping him and his heart in this if I can't give him mine as well. I honestly don't know where to start | Boyfriend is talking about the future, and I don't know how I feel or where we actually stand in the relationship |
t3_2z6zru | relationships | Me [26 F] with my it's complicated [24 M] 6mo, living together but broken up and he thinks we should continue to have monogamous sex. | The person I'm living with thinks we should contiue to have monogamous sex even though we are broken up and neither of us sees ourselves together in the future. I would like to not feel obligated to have sex with him any more and I instead sometimes feel angry at him, as he does to me, over minor social infractions. I feel like we moved in together too soon and we share a studio apartment and our lease is up in 3 months. I'm wondering if his request is reasonable and whether I should just stick it out and what I could do about it. | Is it reasonable for the person I'm sharing a studio apartment with to ask that we continue to have monogamous sex, even though we are broken up? |
t3_qzqel | AskReddit | Female friend has asked to move in with me. Thing is she friendzoned me a couple of months back. [First post] | So, here's the deal: A friend of mine just asked me if she could live at my place for a few months or more during the time she's in University. Thing is we both felt that there *may* have been something more between us when we were just getting to know each other. At the moment we are just very close friends (she told me that she didn't want it to be anything more than that a few months ago.)
I'm just feeling a bit lost here, I really enjoy being a bachelor (I identify myself with BF daily), at the same time it gets quite lonely and I would really like someone to share my apartment with.
Just ask away if you wonder anything else! | A former crush (now close friend) just asked me if she could move in at my place. I enjoy bachelor life, but also her company and sees potential relation in her. |
t3_2xrorw | askwomenadvice | Guy [20] won't make a move, what should I do? [F/18] | I've been talking to this guy that I met on reddit for the last 6 months but we've never met up in person. We've made plans but they've fallen through each time (mostly his fault) and whenever I bring up hanging out he brushes it off or doesn't take it seriously. However when we talk he is constantly saying things like "I wish you were here" and what not. (For some context we live like a 1-2 hour drive from each other but neither of us can drive so it's more like a 3 hour commute involving trains, buses and subways.) When we met neither of us was looking to date and though we made our feelings known to each other we had no intention of dating. Now though things have escalated past light flirting and I want to meet up with him and potentially date him but he is still hard to make plans with and I'm worried about bringing up the possibility of dating before we've even met in person (though we have video chatted and what not.)
My friends think I should make a move and say something but I feel like if he wanted to date or go out he'd initiate it. So what should I do? | want to meet up with flirty guy off reddit but he keeps dodging the plans. Would like to potentially date him but he isn't making any moves besides lots of flirting. |
t3_2nh4j7 | Parenting | What do you all think about spanking your kids? | I got in it this morning with my four year old before Kindergarten and she absolutely shut down.
And I have a sneaking suspicion that it was my fault for the whole ordeal and feel terrible now about it.
We were running late (again my fault) and she didn't want to walk or take her bike because she assumed I would carry her today. She was dismayed to learn other wise and just wigged out to say the least. After a few minutes of consulting her she calmed down then I said "OK lets get goin."
NOPE! started all over. I lost it and gave her one on her little butt. She go louder but then hopped to it and we were underway. She cried the whole way to school and then wouldn't let me go. I felt terrible and just wanted to take her home and call it quits. Her teacher intervened and guided her to the room which aloud me to get out of there without being to late. | I spanked my 4 year for being a 4 year old subsequently causing more stress than needed and I have been hating myself the whole day. |
t3_nh3w7 | AskReddit | It's Christmas. What are some things to get for a dying loved one? | My uncle (AKA dad's best friend, but I think of him as family) has prostate cancer, extremely progressed, and only expects to live around a year or less. He's already at the point where he's been going through his possessions and deciding who he'll leave certain things to. He sees this as his last Christmas, so I really want to get him something amazing. I feel like the usual Christmas gifts would just be kind of strange, as he won't be keeping them for very long. I love him very much, and it would just mean a lot to me for this to be the best Christmas that it can be for him. I've had a few ideas, but nothing earth shattering, so I was hoping that some of you could help me out.
It might be helpful to know that we live about 5 minutes away from each other, and that I am an art student majoring in photography. | My uncle is dying of cancer and I want to get (or make, there's always that) him an awesome Christmas gift. |
t3_22dbyf | relationships | Me [20F] with my BF [28M] 6 months, he's been with a rather large number of people. | So, as my post title said, I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 28. Sorry for the wall of text!
The age gap doesn't bother me, isn't an issue, and we have probably the best relationship I've ever been in - he's kind, caring, thoughtful, and makes me feel safe. Nothing is in question with our relationship, or that he's being faithful - I trust him and don't have any doubts.
Well, in a conversation a few weeks ago, our 'numbers' (as inane as it is) kind of came up - I knew he had been with a lot of girls, and it isn't like he was my first, not by a long shot, but he kind of awkwardly admitted that I was girl number **87**. Am I crazy for thinking that's a kind of high number of girls to have fucked?
He's clean, I'm clean. That's not something I have to question, either. I don't even think he is the problem here.
I know his past shouldn't matter to me, but I feel like he's got a lot to compare me to in the bedroom, like I know I'm not the best at anything, because fuck, what are the chances at being #1 out of 87?
He's never said anything, even a little. It just nags at me a little bit, it's in the back of my head. I just don't know how to get over it - I know it's not even really my place to even be bothered by this, but I am - how do I let it go and just enjoy what I've got?
It's not a deal breaker, I'm not going to run screaming from him, I adore him completely and love what we have going on, but I can't figure out how to rationalize this in my head. | my boyfriend has been with 86 other girls before me... how do I get over this/accept 'where he's been'? |
t3_2oz4v1 | relationships | Girlfriend [F23] and i [M25] broke up last week due to her depression and me not seeing it. I want to be there for her but dont know the extent i should be. Advice is needed. | Last week me and my girlfriend broke up, she had just suffered her cat dying and her grandpa(who she lived with) being put into a home. It was a mutual breakup once we talked about it but she bought it up.
Saying how i made inappropriate jokes at her expense, this was true but she never spoke up about it so i didnt really think it was such a big deal at the time (these jokes were just farting around her, general gross boyfriend stuff it was never obscene or done with malice) seeing as i didnt mean to upset her and thoight she was breaking up with me because of such a minor part of my personality my thought process was she needed some time to get herself together, i just didnt see it for what it was.
After a couple of days and talking to people i completely understand where she was coming from and talked to her about toning the jokes down and possibly giving me another chance if she could but she wasnt interested but didnt rule out us getting back together once everything calmed down. Its worth mentioning we have been best freinds for years and so we just went back to being freinds.
The question im asking is what i should be doing to help her out and doing everything i can to be there for her
Are there any subjects i shouldnt bring up? Are getting her presents out of the question? How often should i be talking to her without impeeding on her personal space? Shes depressed and i want to be there for her but not suffocate her. | depressed girlfriend broke up with me and i want to be there for her while giving her the space she needs to get right. |
t3_1ms8by | relationships | He is moving this relationship too fast. Help! | I (24/f) have been dating an amazing guy (25/m) for the past 2 months. He is unlike any guy I've ever met- he treats me very well, we have a lot in common, and he is very concerned with my happiness. We both support each other, have a lot of laughs and even finish each other's sentences.
The thing is, recently I haven't been feeling comfortable in the relationship, and now I figured out why. He's been pushing the fast-forward button on the relationship. He told me he has never met anyone like me and couldn't see himself with any other girl, ever. A week after he asked me to be his girlfriend, he said "I love you." When I didn't say it back, we had a small discussion about pacing and he said he would take it at my pace.
Then, a couple of weeks later, we went into a puppy store, and I fell in love with a dog. He told me that one day we will have a puppy together. I told him I want to live in Queens one day (I'm from Long Island), and his face lit up and he said "me too! That's great!" After we slept over on a weeknight (rare), he said "I could get used to waking up next to you every day. One day we will."
He keeps saying all of this "future-y" stuff- it's sweet, especially since I'm the type to LOVE romance. But the logical part of me is nervous. I care about this guy a lot, but I am starting to overthink things and get nervous. I want a slower pacing, but if I say something to him, it will sound like I want space or something. I don't. I want us to pace things a little slower. I care about him so much and I wouldn't want it to burn out. I know his feelings are true, because he has had several past relationships, has dated a lot and knows the difference. | new boyfriend is seriously smitten and pressing fast forward on our relationship. How do I slow things down without hurting him? |
t3_1c638o | relationships | Girlfriend [21f] and I [22m] fought over splitting the bill. Was I in the wrong? | My girlfriend and I (going out for half a year now) have been eating out more frequently these days, and she usually insists on paying for my meal. Even though I really appreciate the gesture, for the past few weeks I've been telling her that we should just split the bill or that she doesn't have to pay for me.
A few nights ago, she paid for me again, even though I told her not to. Out of exasperation, I let out an "ah, fuck." She hears this, flips out, and says "What did you just say? I'm doing you a favor here, and this is all I get?" When we try to find a table, she tells me to go sit somewhere else and moves as far away from me as possible. I'm tired of being ignored at this point, so I give up trying to talk to her and eat in silence. When we're done, she turns to me and says, "Oh so you don't even want to look at me now?"
Even though we reconciled later on, I'm still a bit hung up about what went down. I know the whole argument happened because I dropped an f-bomb while she was trying to do something nice for me, but I can't help but think that she overreacted. Was I in the wrong here? | Girlfriend keeps trying to pay for my meal, even though I didn't want her to. Dropped an f-bomb out of annoyance the other night, and she flips out. Was I in the wrong? |
t3_50auvr | loseit | So I bought a new scale... (mini rant) | I have just finished moving out and I'm on my own again. And by 'finished moving' I mean that I still have enough boxes to go through to unpack but everything is in the new place. I ended up buying my first food scale (yay) and a new scale to weigh myself. I stepped on the new scale this morning (following the same routine as before) and it reads 8.5lbs heavier than before :(
I am more inclined to believe the new scale than the old one (it is a very old scale) and I am pretty down about it. Yes, I know that I've still lost 30lbs from my starting weight which is SUPER fantastic. But it means that I was heavier than I thought. And it goofs up the summer challenge for me - my goal was to be down in onederland by the end of the challenge. I don't believe that that is a realistic goal any more. Yes, I will adjust my goals and such, but I really wanted to be out of the 200s by the end of September. Now I have farther to go. | bought a new scale, 8.5lbs 'heavier', slightly demoralized, not going to give up, but feeling bleh about it |
t3_4ib3qu | relationships | [Update] My [29F] husband [32M] is HIV positive and insists he's done nothing wrong. | First post here:
First I want to thank all of you for your help.
As it turned out and most of you guessed, my husband has been lying. He kept insisting to me that he's done nothing that could be responsible for this and he was saying that maybe HIV can be transmitted some other way that scientists don't understand yet. I suggested that we should ask our doctor to put us in contact with researchers then to study him and understand what's going on. He became defensive and said he doesn't want to become anyone's lab mice.
At night I decided to look into his phone. I know it's not generally a good idea to snoop around but I needed to known if he's lying for sure. I unlocked it with his fingerprint when he was sleeping and yeah, there was a text thread with someone named "S" where they were talking about HIV and some insults. I dug around a little and learned that this is his ex.
I told him in the morning and he opened up and told me the truth. His ex has contacted him 18 months ago and they started talking and they slept with each other for three months, and they didn't use condoms because he trusted that his ex had not slept with anyone ever since they broke up. She lied to him. She was HIV positive and he got it from her. They stopped seeing each other after three months.
So I'll talk to a lawyer and will file for divorce. He is staying with a friend for the time being until we sort things out. | Husband lied. Cheated on me with his ex and that's how he was infected. We will get a divorce. |
t3_52w7e5 | relationships | I [21F] don't know what to do about my girlfriend [22F] talking to this guy online | Hello! A month or so ago I found out that my gf was having phone sex with some guy in another country while I was asleep next to her. Apparently this had been going on for a few weeks. I talked to her about it, she promised that she'd quit talking to him, all is fine and dandy. On monday, I found out that she was still talking to him, and now she's regularly deleting messages from him. Again after talking she promised she'd never talk to him again, however, this morning I noticed she had three messages from him. She said she isn't talking to him anymore and those are just what he has sent her since then, but I now kind of have a hard time believing that.
It hurts me very badly that she would treat me like this. It feels like she respects and desires that guy a hell of a lot more than me. And then to try to hide her communications with him? It feels like there is something going on. Any advice?? | gf was phone sexing some dude, said she'd stop talking to him, didn't stop talking to him but she swears she's just talking to him as a friend |
t3_pii98 | AskReddit | Reddit, I have an idea for a mass expression of love on Valentine's Day that is neither cheesy nor commercial. Are you down? (details inside) | I've been thinking a lot about Shakespeare's famous sonnet 18,specifically the lines (clears throat):
*So long as men can breathe or eyes can see /
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.*
As a teenager, I thought that Shakespeare, for lack of a better word, had swag. Shakespeare has given IMMORTALITY to his greatest love in a poem and he KNOWS it. AND, at that the time, he was alone in being able to do this, since everybody reads Shakespeare at some point in their lives.
But we can ALL do that now, on youtube and vimeo and etc. We can put up our own public message of love, and as long as men can google cats and our eyes can handle r/wtf, this will remain, a googleable testament to the love in our life, be that a person, an animal, a view, an overlooked corner of the city. anything.
Reddit,could we get a Sonnet 18 campaign started on youtube? Is this something people would get behind? | Make public declaration of love to someone/something on youtube on Valentine's day, thus giving it immortality, if not the same level of fame as say, Shakespeare. |
t3_27cyyb | relationships | I [M26] have strong feelings for my girlfriend of two months [F21], yet am somehow sexually unattracted to her. It's causing her a lot of anxiety. Help? | As explained in the title, I've been dating a 21 year old woman for about two months now, and even though I have feelings for her, I paradoxically don't feel any sexual attraction towards her.
I had a friend with benefits who was incredibly attractive for about two and a half years, and I stopped receiving the "benefits" shortly before meeting my girlfriend. I'm assuming the residual feelings towards this woman could definitely be dampening my attraction towards my girlfriend.
My current girlfriend is an amazing woman. She has a kind heart and a giving nature, and I enjoy being with her. However, I feel no sexual chemistry between us. Whenever we have sex I drink a lot beforehand, and she caught onto it and feels insulted that I need to be drunk to have intercourse with her.
I compliment her frequently, and I have sex with her about 2 - 3 times a week, but as strange as it may sound I would rather masturbate than have sex with her.
Despite having a relatively high sex drive, I would rather just chill and watch a movie with her than have sex. This is a tough spot to be in. I care about her immensely, yet for some inexplicable reason I have zero desire to have sex with her. She takes it very personally, and feels unattractive from my lack of initiative in this area.
Help? | I have feelings for my new girlfriend, yet am sexually unattracted to her due to memories of previous woman. My girlfriend's self esteem is taking a severe blow |
t3_3e44vb | relationships | Me [28M] need Insight workplace dynamic, is it time to move on | I am a Quality Assurance professional in the food industry. I work for a pretty big corporation in the USA. This is my first corporate job and i find it relatively more relaxed when compare to smaller sized firms. Great benefits, and my pay is reasonable, but by no means excellent, still tough to make ends meet sometimes. One very important thing to note is that, i find myself having a much better work life balance. I am a single dad and this really helps that i can be very flexible.
I happen to work at one of their remote facilities in a more rural area. I am the only QA on the site. I would have to liaise with our head quarter remotely via emails, telephone, skype etc.
Without going into much details, this facility has a VERY small team, as a result the working dynamic is a little unique. None of our immediate supervisors/managers are on site. We do have a site manager who over looks the facility, but note that he is not our direct manager. It just so happens that various other personnel, and myself noted unprofessional behaviors about this individuals. In conclusion, this site manager managed to get away with a lot of complains from the rest of the team. It does not look like the head office is able to address the issue, unless it gets really ugly.
I personally love my QA team at the head office, i have a great manager as well. Unfortunately, the current remote team dynamic has me dreading to come to work. I do not have much direct interaction with the site manager, as my work as QA has more to do with the high-level. However, i do foresee issues that WILL come up eventually, and i might be getting the bad end of the stick too.
Another issue is that i do not feel challenged as a professional due to the fact that remote facilities usually do not have the same complex infrastructure.
Is this a situation that i should walk away from? I am on the fence. Any advice would be great.
Thanks. | remote facility team dynamic has me dreading to come to work. On the fence about quitting/new job due to much better work life balance for my family. Need insight/advice. |
t3_1fb8n9 | AskReddit | My pregnant girlfriend's parents want her to go to Africa and won't let us see each other; what can I do to make her more comfortable? (A lot more information inside). | My girlfriend's family has been planning a mission trip to Africa for longer than we've been together. We've been together for only a few months - her family has known nothing about this (I was actually just starting to hang out around them when we found out that she's pregnant). We've been sneaking around, having a secret relationship. Her family is incredibly religious and her parents have not taken the news of her pregnancy lightly. They've only known for about a week, so maybe they just need time to process the information. However, they leave for Africa in roughly two months (they would be back a month before her due date) and all I've seen of my girlfriend the past week is half an hour on her porch. She seems really unhappy, and I feel like her parents aren't thinking about what she needs as much as what they want - they won't open their eye's and accept that the two of us made a mistake together and we want to try to get through the difficulties caused by that mistake together. I think it's wrong that I'm not able to be by her side during her pregnancy and show her that I support her. Is there anything that I can do to make her parents realize that I'm going to be in her life and that not allowing us to see each other is doing nothing but creating factions where a group is needed? | Knocked up a 17 year old, parents won't let me be there for her (trying to force us apart), they are possibly going to Africa for 5ish months. |
t3_27u6we | relationship_advice | [23f] My ex girlfriend [22f] owes me $500, is flat broke, and dating someone new | We dated for 2 years and broke up when I moved away last fall, but continued in a pseudo-LDR until last month. I come from an upper middle class family and hers is flat broke, which was always an uncomfortable dynamic in our relationship that often led to me lending her money for her basic necessities. I never really minded because she needed it so desperately and my parents still support me, but I did get annoyed that she rarely paid me back on time and didn't seem to feel obligated to keep me updated about when she'd be able to do so. She promised to be better about it.
She also loved me relentlessly and was heartbroken when I moved. I struggle with severe depression and became pretty dependent on her love and emotional support. Then, last month, she started dating someone else, which was way harder on me than I'd expected. We decided to take space but are still on good terms.
Before I found out she was in love with someone else, I'd lent her $500 to keep her from being evicted. She'd promised to pay me back by the first week of June, but last week came and passed and I never heard from her. I texted to ask about it and she said, "oh yeah my car broke down and I had to pay $500 for the alternator, I can maybe give it to you next week." I said "alright."
Then she posted videos of her new gf on facebook, which were like a knife in my petty, irrational heart (I know, I know, I unfriended her immediately). Now I'm really pissed off about the money thing, but I'd be lying if I said that my desire to bug her about it isn't largely out of passive aggressive jealously. I don't want to be emotionally manipulative by holding it over her head, but I still feel like she's putting me in an uncomfortable position. What should I do? | She still owes me $500 but I don't want to be a dick about it because I know I'm really just mad that she's dating someone else.* |
t3_1fh754 | dating_advice | This girl [22F] is sending me [23M] some major mixed signals | Alright bros and broettes, I'm in a weird situation with this girl and I could really use some advice.
The backstory is this: girl and I flirt back and forth for about 2 weeks, she seems really interested in me and I like her a lot, so I asked her out. She says yes (woo!) and it just so happened that my birthday was in the next couple days so she came out with me and a bunch of my friends and watched me get incredibly wasted. When I get drunk I open up to people so I told her a lot about me and she told me a lot about herself as well, and she said she had an awesome time. So the weekend comes up and she invites me to her house for this party thing that's happening in her hometown. Cool. I go and meet her family (sister, brothers, parents, cousins, etc) and they all seem to really like me, which was huge plus. Her mom especially.
Anyway, this was about a month ago and we've hung out like once or twice since then. It seems like there's always an excuse for her not to hang out, and she is AWFUL at texting and calling back. Now normally, I'd take this as a sign to fuck off and move on to the next one. But here's the thing: she's told me NUMEROUS times she likes me a lot, says she misses me, etc etc. We've made out a few times, slept in the same bed (no sex, just makeout sessions and cuddling) because we agreed to take things slow. The last few weeks have been me battling back and forth in my head of whether or not to call her out and ask what in the fuck is going on, or just let it roll and keep being happy around her and trying to get her to hang out sometime.
I've tried backing off like not texting or calling for a few days, but she will only initiate contact every once in a while. It's just a confusing situation because I feel like I'm getting some major mixed signals. Could use advice from anyone who's willing to give it about what to do or say to her, or any thoughts about what might be going through her head. Thanks! | Girl and I start off really well, tells me many times that she likes me a lot. Getting mixed signals ever since then. |
t3_3dow9c | weddingplanning | [Ranty wall of text] went to pick up dress from alterations and there's a hole!! | Ugh. So I bought my dress at David's Bridal and it was in bad shape when I bought it, it was missing breads and had loose strings. They said it was no problem and it would be fixed when it came in for alterations. Well today was my pick up date and while all the beads were there some were just hanging on by long strings, others were the wrong type(didn't match the native beads on my dress), there were a ton of loose strings, you could see the bra cups(they were sewn in too high), and there was two huge(consultant could fit her whole hand through) holes in the top layer of tulle. When I noticed it she replied "oh that wasn't there when you brought it in?" Now they either have to remove the top beaded layer of tulle and put a new piece of tulle and bead it or order me a new dress and get it altered. They aren't sure what to do yet. I'm slightly panicking as I leave for vacation tomorrow for a week and I get married in 15 days! | David's Bridal fucked up and put two holes in my dress and didn't properly fix the beading and I get married in 15 days and I'm freaking out! |
t3_rcqvv | AskReddit | Parents hitting their children. Do we need more of it? | I was born in '82, I was grounded a lot as a child and my parents "spanked" me mercilessly when I got out of line. With a belt, the whole nine.
But this isn't about "spanking", though I think it is a relevant part of the discussion.
When I was about six, I was in the elevator with my grandpa (who was a WWII para-trooping badass). The elevator had about 5 other adults in it, mostly seniors because it was their retirement building.
Then I head the most magical sound a six-year old could hear, somebody farted, LOUDLY. In the elevator!
To impress my grandfather, I turned to him with a huge grin and loudly exclaimed "Ewwwww. Somebody farted!"
The next thing I remember is just pain. My grandfather had literally punched me, with his fist closed, but with the back of his fist like a slap (that was not full force) - directly in the face!
I can say for a fact that after that (I was literally too shocked to even cry or come up with a response) I kept my fucking manners whenever I was in public. Whether my grandpa was there or not.
And that is why I will hit my kid if they ever cross a line like that. I think that if more children were hit, in moderation (my grandpa only hit me that once), then we wouldn't be dealing with half of the dumb-ass shit people think they can say or do in public. This is all about the parents. You let your children do whatever they want based on some politically-correct nonsense, and all of society suffers. | Back in the day, the village raised the children, the whole village. Now we have small family-unit isolation, PC nonsense, and dumb gullible adults who let their children run wild. Hit those kids. |
t3_ep3n3 | AskReddit | this isn't a straightforward question, but i need reddit's help. my 5 year old half-sister has a neglecting father. | my 5 year old sister had to watch my mom and ex-stepdad divorce when she was only 2. ever since, this guy has been a real douche. he has fought constantly over the custody of my sister. my mom was down and out, nearly bankrupt, and me being only 13 at the time, could not financially help much. my dad (who previously split with her, and has a bit of cash) helped her out here and there. after a long while of battles, my mom won custody of my sister. however, she was to see her dad every other weekend. that was fine, i thought. but now he neglects my sister. he hasn't seen her in 2 and a half months. she cries every other day about how much she misses her dad and it truly breaks my heart. this man has no sympathy. he has barely any feelings except the need for power. i ask of you, redditors, to give me a way to show just part of how much torture this man deserves. WITHIN LEGALITY, i would like reddit to come up with a way to really get it through this douchebag's head that he needs to shape up and pay attention to his daughter, my half-sister. | my 5 year old half-sister has a neglecting dad and i want, within legality, a way from you redditors to get it through this guy's head that he needs to pay attention to my sister. |
t3_47nx1p | relationships | Me [21 M] doesn't know how to ask [20 F] out. | Going to keep this extra short. I have been on 2 dates my entire life. Both were extremely awful and every other attempt has been rejection. Anyway back to my situation, I met this girl a couple weeks ago and for the first time in over a year I want to ask someone out. We became friends on the trip, and I have no clue what I should do to ask her out. Haven't seen her since the trip and we snapchated a few times. I am just clueless on how I could do this without seeming desperate. Spring break is starting in a couple days and I know both of us will be out of town. I know people are going to say just ask her out and if she says no than its just a no, but it just feels super awkward. | introverted guy who has basically no experiencd with girls just trying to figure out how to ask someone out without seeming desperate or weird. |
t3_4y5q4j | relationships | Me M(18) and her F(16) have been on and off for 5 months. She says she often really likes me yet doesn't want a relationship | I like this person alot, like a real lot. We've been on and off for around 5 months as she's pretty indecisive. This ocassionally led to a few arguments but were all resolved quickly.
We get on really well and both enjoy spending time together but i'm really not sure what to do.
She said "she wants to be with me but not in a relationship way" that "How can you love and care for someone else when you can't love and care for someone else".
So in short; i told her to just give me a straight answer; which she said she doesn't want to enter into a relationship but still likes me;
Has anyone been in this situation before and how did it work out?
Thankyou so much guys
Will provide any more information if needed | girl seems hesitant to getting into a relationship even though she likes me, I put foot down for her to make a decision after 5 months |
t3_1m85rh | relationships | I [17M] dont know whether to leave my crush [17F] or just wait for her. | I have been in love with this girl for almost 3 years. I asked her out around 4 months in and she said no and ignored me for two weeks. I did my best to talk to her again and she started to talk back.
Then she got really close with this one guy. She said they weren't going out, but they held hands and went out to the movies together. After a while they "broke up" in January. I took the opportunity and bought her a rose for Valentines day. She accepted it. And she flirted with me that day. Then towards the end of the month she had fallen in love with some Puerto Rico guy she met on Skype.
This really ticked me off. I have been working my ass off for her and all of a sudden she falls in love with a guy she only talked to for an hour? I got pissed and out of anger I messaged her : Fuck You, just fuck you. Then the same happened, she wouldn't talk to me for nearly a month. I've been trying to apologize for my stupidity but she kept ignoring me. I don't know how I did it but things have been back to normal for about 5 months. She and he have had a long distance relationship for 7 months now.
And now I'm questioning if I should just let her go. But I dont want to. If it wasn't for me, she probably would have stayed as a quiet girl, rather than an outgoing one. I can't let go of her. I've tried, but it always fails. I need her. | Don't know if I should wait for my crush of 3 years with a current long distance relationship, or just move on. |
t3_1v86v6 | relationships | Me [17 M] hooked up with a friend [17 F] during a party trip, having conflicted thoughts about her and I really need advices on what to do... | okay so basicly i used to go to this highschool,then i realized that i cannot afford that kind of distraction then i left to go to a private school, which kinda helped giving that my grades are much better now.
anyway my old friends suggested that i go on a party trip with them and i thought it was a great idea. It was magical, got wasted and all that. I got to know this girl that hangs with my friends and we started drinking together during the parties, we had a blast and she suggested we take a break. Then I made a decision that started troubling me.
after the girl and i decided to take a break we went to my room to sober up a bit, after i opened the room she threw herself on me and i was overjoyed because i thought she was pretty, charming and i had a little bit of a crush on her before i came on the trip.
we had sex and we cuddled for a while... then she suggested that we keep all this as a secret and pretend nothing happened, even though i dont really want to forget all this she insisted and i agreed because i wanted her to be happy. then shit happened the next day.
the next day during a night event she ignored me during the whole thing, she danced and made out with many guys infront of me and didnt really care about what i was thinking, i understand that because why would she, i dont really mean anything to her but to me it kinda hurts. i know party hook-ups are supposed to be a fling but i am a guy who gets attached quite easily....
i have not been stop thinking about her since that day and it is killing me a little bit, i dont know whether i miss her just because we hooked up or because i actually like her... what should i do? do i love her or do i just love the sex??? please help reddit... | hooked up with girl, miss her badly.. do i love her or do i just miss the sex? what should i do?? |
t3_29v0o1 | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [21M] 10 months: He is here right now and I'm afraid I cheated on him earlier today but I'm not sure if I did. | Long story short:
There was this guy who I met and had a crush on before I met my current bf. He was a bad ass with tattoos, but was also so funny, energetic, and we just had chemistry. However, I was introduced to him by a friend, so I couldn't pursue it. We flirted lightly then and online but it faded away.
Anyway, I've been dating my bf for 10 months today. He's great. Definetly not a rockstar badass, and not particularly exciting, but he's funny and kind and would never hurt me.
So, I was with the friend today. She likes him a lot and I was egging her on to text him because I wanted to hear from him indirectly, through her. I told her to invite him over. I did this knowing he probably wouldn't come, but if he did, my boyfriend would come hang too (he was on his way over to meet me.) Even if my bf was on his way, i might have stuck by for a little bit just to see the kid.
My friend mentioned his Instagram and I didn't even look at it, thinking it would be cheating.
I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend by telling her to text this guy and having thoughts about seeing him/being flirty. (it's possible I don't know the difference between friendly and flirty). It seems inappropriate.
Perhaps this is representative of a down time in our relationship. I want to be excited, flirted with. I want that possibility and that guy could give me that- not my bf. So i'm often intrigued by that, at least in idea form. I'd never cheat on my boyfriend, but I feel like I kinda did.
Did I- or is it my guilt issues? (which I have from past relationships) Am I overthinking something that everyone in relationships does? | Told my friend to text a guy I used to like telling him to come hang out. Now I feel like I cheated on my current bf by doing that |
t3_42qbqg | Advice | What can you to prevent someone from avoiding you because you're a "trigger" to their bad habits? | That title may sound vague, so here's more details:
My half sister and I used to be very close for the first 17 years of my life. There's a big age difference between us, so we've never lived together but even if she couldn't visit for a while (family life, job, etc) we'd at least talk on the phone a few times a month.
My father passed away 5 years ago, and even though he wasn't my half sister's biological father, they still had a good friendship. I didn't know this until around the time he passed, but part of their friendship was getting high via pain killers together :( It was far too late by the time I found out either of them had a problem.
Half sis and I stayed kinda close for 2 years after my father's death, and she started drifting away from me. I would try calling every week, then month, then every other month however she never answered or called back. This made me sad and lasted for about 3 years.
Skip forward to the present, and I finally get her to answer the phone!!!! We had a great catch up conversation, and it was insightful because I found out why she's been avoiding me: I remind her of my father, of course, which in turn causes her to think about getting high and miss the drugs. She's done well at avoiding those, but has realized that I'm part of her trigger.
At this point I have an idea of what to say to her, to hopefully keep her around this time... however it really sucks. I'm guilty by association.
What would you do or say in this situation?? Thank you for any advice and thoughts. | I found out my half sister was avoiding me for the last couple of years because I am part of a trigger that causes her to miss getting high, even though it was my dad she got high with, not me. |
t3_20g5be | jobs | What are employers looking for in entry-level candidates? | My goals in looking for employment are a reasonable starting salary ( at least 12/hr) and a position with either vertical or lateral mobility since I enjoy learning new skills and staying busy while I'm being paid for my time.
I've been looking for something in accounting/admin/clerical since it is the only thing I really have experience with (year and a half in A/R) outside of general customer service. I've had two interviews so far, the first I'm not sure why they contacted me (very very inexperienced for what it turned out to be) and the second was a staffing-agency agent that I arranged.
In both interviews the response I had was the same-- that I didn't seem to know what I was looking for. The first interview said I seemed more focused on the technical than clerical and he wasn't sure what I was offering (then offered me a position in database management), while the staffing agent seemed put off by my mixed bag credentials.
I know I have other issues as a potential employee, but this sticking point seems to be bothering me. | What exactly do they want when hiring someone for Accounting Clerk I or an Administrative Assistant-- someone that will see what they can do for the company or someone to fill that position and be content with it for 5+ years? |
t3_1n8qqb | relationships | My [21M] ex-girlfriend [25F] wants to date again, and I gave her an ultimatum about her fuckbuddy [29M]. | Warning: Long and complex.
I met my ex (let's call her S) online about 18 months ago. At the time she was friends with L, and soon became his fuckbuddy (they were friends for a few months beforehand).
Anyway, our friendship developed and after about 6 months (~a year ago), I told her I had feelings for her, she said she felt the same, so she dumped her fuckbuddy and dated me (semi-long distance, saw her for a five or six days a month-ish). After 2 months (we'd only met three times, for 2 days, then 6 days, then 2 days), she broke up with me. She said that she cared for me a huge amount, but semi-long distance wasn't enough for her and she couldn't lead me on when she wasn't sure if she could ever love anyone (she's had a shitty history with boyfriends/fuckbuddies and has never been "in love").
I was pretty crushed, because we were extremely close and I was in love with her. We stayed in contact, talked a lot, which was probably pretty stupid on my part because I never really got over her.
Anyway, about two weeks after she dumped me, she told me that she was "back" with L. This was devastating to me because she knew I was always jealous of L (he's older, successful, the works) and wasn't particularly comfortable with her seeing him as a friend whilst we dated.
Now (6 months later), she wants to get back together (she now has her own place and therefore we can spend much more time together). She is still fucking L, but would "end things with him for me". He's pretty much her only friend besides me, but I said that she would have to not see him socially, not be his friend, essentially cut off all contact with him. I feel like a controlling douchebag for asking her to give up her only friend, but I know I wouldn't be comfortable or happy knowing he was in her life. | I told my ex that if she wants to have a relationship with me, she can no longer even be friends with her fuckbuddy. Am I being a controlling asshole? |
t3_k8gk0 | AskReddit | Reddit, What is the scariest situation you've ever been in? | I was driving home late one night when a car started tailgating about 5 feet behind me flashing his brights. I decided to pull into a near by open BlockBuster so that I could go somewhere populated. The guy followed me into the lot and I parked right in front of the door, but didn't get out of my car. Then, **5 huge hispanic-looking guys got out and stood around my car. Staring at me. Arms crossed. Not saying anything.** The BlockBuster employee who I thought would come to my rescue turned away from the window. At this point I thought I was going to die. But instead, the guy standing in front of my car nodded to the left and the other guys followed back into the car and left. I then went home and wept profusely. | was getting followed on the way home at night so I pulled into a store. 5 huge guys then got out and stood around my car and then left. |
t3_2qsp71 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my anger issue. It is very bad. | I can't tell exactly when I started building up anger. But I believe it was when a good friend of mine deserted me. Just an ordinary friend [15 M] John and I tried to hangout whenever we could.
But both of our parents had a disagreement that was exploded more by John's parents. I never knew of it. One day when we both go out to volunteer at an event, him and his mother just picked up their stuff and left. Barely a goodbye. After that my parents and explained the whole thing. I hated him for betraying me.
Ever since then, my hate grew and grew. Whenever my parents get upset with me, they yell and sometimes insult me. I never get any say in the arguments, no matter how calm, collected, and respectful I make my voice. If I say anything they always claim that I am being 'disrespectful'. Every time I go to bed and sleep, I always get stuck on how they treated me.
Many times I could explain myself in the argument, I had absolute certainty that they would understand it if they would let me talk. It even got so bad that my father and mother had hit me. (2 separate occasions) And recently I have had dreams of smashing them with a rock in a room full of blood.
Recently my mom faced me on the subject, I came out openly that I hated them. How I spend hours every night burning with hatred.
She responded by saying how could I say that. I admit she does lots for me. But the things she says in random arguments at me are horrible. Claiming that I don't deserve encouragement, insulting my intelligence and all of my mannerisms.
She even said that the reason I still don't have any friends currently is because of the aura of hatred I put out. She said by looking into my eyes she could tell just how much hatred I have. | Parents yell/insult me. It gets me angry and hateful. Apparently I don't have any friends because of it. |
t3_ulupz | AskReddit | I need some help, dad across the country in the hospital and my mind won't rest. | So late Sunday night my dad took himself to the hospital because he was having chest pains, they admitted him and all that, and he texted me Monday afternoon right before class to tell me that he was in the hospital, but not to worry and all that stuff that a dad should say. I have talked to several people in the past 12 hours since he told me, and everyone who knows anything about it says there are incredibly minuscule odds that anything bad will happen, especially since he caught it early and got it taken care of. All I know at this point is that they're keeping him there for a few days to run tests and find the cause of everything. But the problem I am having is that the logical part of my brain knows not to worry and has helped me be fine all day, but now that I have been trying to fall asleep, I can't close my eyes without my subconscious running through all these 'what-if' scenarios that have million to one odds of happening, and it's seriously stressing me out and stopping me from being able to sleep. I read some, listened to calming music, but every time I close my eyes, there it goes again. So if anyone has any sort of advice on how I can shut part of my brain up and get to sleep, I will love you forever. Also, we don't have health insurance, so if you have any knowledge of US health insurance workings, could you possibly fill me in on how this is going to work, money wise? We obviously can't afford to pay out of pocket. | Dad in hospital with chest pains and now I can't stop keep the back of my mind from worrying me and can't sleep. |
t3_3gdbc1 | relationships | Me [19M] have gained feelings for a friend [18F] after a month, except she has a boyfriend... | Okay, for the sake of this post we will call this girl Jenna. So I met Jenna about a month ago on a night out. She was a friend of a friend however we hit it off straight away and had a great night. Nothing happened that night but I did find out she had a boyfriend, which didn't bother me at the time as I'd only known her for a day and just assumed we were friends.
Now fast forward a few weeks later and we'd been talking a lot over Facebook and stuff and also texted a little bit. Then last week at a party I stupidly kissed her when we were both drunk. I realised what I'd done and pulled away but then she kissed me and we both confessed to having feelings for each other.
We've met up a few times since then and have kissed again but now I have the issue of that, for one I feel terrible for the fact that I'm doing this with her and she has a boyfriend that doesn't know. But I also don't know how exactly she feels about me, she says she likes me, but then she'll ignore my messages for hours on end. Also when talking to her the other day she claimed she 'Didn't know' if she was going to break up with her boyfriend.
I really like this girl, except I don't want to confront her and explain everything because if she wants to stay with her boyfriend I respect that and I'll respect her decision. Basically I just want to know if I should stop getting so attached to her and distance myself, or really give this a go and tell her how I actually feel.
Sorry if this didn't make much sense, I'm at work so y'know not the best place to be writing such things. | Met a girl with a boyfriend. Got on really well and have kissed except not she's hard to read and I don't know what she wants. Should I confront her or am I getting over attached? |
t3_2yojju | Advice | Moving | My SO wants to move to Maryland, USA from North Bay, Ontario, CA. We both want this but it doesn't take some scholar to know how difficult it is to move from one nation to the other, even if it is the next-door-neighbor. I have been ceaselessly searching for the information I need to get her started. I desperately hope that someone here could point us in the right direction. My plan is to have her come here at some point this summer. We would look for an employer that would hire her (Does anyone know what kind of visa she could apply for? She doesn't have a degree but there are entry-level places hiring all around my area). I recently established credit (apparently credit is needed to live in apartments or townhouses - the plan here is to have a couple of roommates that would help us pay rent, since living in Maryland is generally not cheap). If it means anything, I've got a job already and I've begun a fund in which I'll deposit a certain amount of all my paychecks every time I earn one.
I am sorry if all of this sounds unorganized or if it sounds like a bad decision but we sincerely both want this, and my parents have offered her a two-month stay in our home while she searches for employment here this summer so... | If my SO wishes to move here, what is the first step? Is it going to be a certain type of work visa? Applying for jobs? |
t3_3i02tl | relationships | Things I (24F) never knew about you (28M) (xpost from r/offmychest) | We were together four years and yes, I knew you could be a bit selfish but I never knew the extent until yesterday. We broke up three weeks ago and were living as civil roommates, it was the best we had gotten along in months. Then you come home drunk (nothing new) and we get into a discussion about what was wrong with "us". According to you, since I am a woman I should have KNOWN that I was 100% responsible for cleaning the house, dishes, laundry, cat box, etc. Excuse me? I enjoy cleaning, don't get me wrong, but it's not my "job" I did it because it benefited both of us and who doesn't like coming home to a clean house? I can't believe you actually said that to me, I SHOULD have KNOWN it was MY job. I'm glad we're over, I'm glad we found out we weren't compatible before we got married or God forbid had kids. You are a mean person, the kind who goes out of their way to make people feel terrible about themselves and I'll be damned if I'll let you bring me down for one more day of my now happy life. Good luck finding a slave to be your maid/housekeeper/mother because I'm out. Thanks for four years of torment. | My ex fiance of four years expected me to be his housekeeper/maid/mother without question. It didn't work out to well for him |
t3_3lbsid | relationships | I [17 M] don't know what to say to my friend [17 F] who is also my long-time crush. | This girl has been my friend for years and I have liked her since we met, we even "went out" a couple of times when we were younger. The only problem is, I never stopped liking her and she, presumably, stopped liking me or always saw me as just a friend. Many of my other friends note how she acts differently around me, especially how she laughs differently when I say something funny as opposed to someone else. Does this mean or indicate that she also likes me? That's something I've always wondered but never asked. Today my intrigue came to a head as another friend was saying how she originally didn't get on with her bf of 3 years and he was just persistent. I said "so basically I can get any girl if I just keep trying?" and my friend who I have a crush on said "you've tried with me for 5 years" then we laughed, though I was very confused as to what this implied, if anything. Any thoughts or advice? Should I tell her? Does she know already? | Have a crush on one of my best friends, she said something that may or may not imply stuff, I don't know whether I should tell her I like her. |
t3_1y0sca | relationships | My roommate [23 F] refuses to compromise on cooking fish in the house even though she knows that I [19 f] am allergic to it. | So my roommates are horrible horrible people, and I just found out how inconsiderate and selfish one of them is.
So earlier today she texted me saying that she will be cooking fish tonight. Now when I first moved in I told everyone that I was deathly allergic to fish and that if they were going to cook it, please let me know so we can work it out.
Apparently she really wanted to cook fish and refused to compromise saying that she will not cook it any later or earlier because that is the time she normally eats fish, even though I told her I would be home at that time.
I even reiterated that I am allergic to fish and that if she cooks it my health will be at risk and I have nowhere to go.
She basically told me that I was an inconvience to the house because she can't eat fish as much as she wants to, and that if it was such a big health risk I shouldn't have moved in. She then told me she would make the fish tomorrow, but that she would not compromise on that.
Now any reasonable person would have tried to find a solution that works for both parties, but she had to be incosiderate of my health so that she could eat the dinner that she wanted.
My mom is ready to take legal action if need be, incase I have to go to the hospital or something because of my roommates "fish addiction". The advice I need help on is, how do I not let this girl push me around and put my health at risk, but still keeping a good house environment? | Roommate refuses to compromise on cooking fish even though she knows I am allergic to it. How do I keep a good house environment? |
t3_3modg4 | Advice | Should I (an underage male) lose my virginity to a much older but beautiful women? | Note: The legal implications don't concern me at the moment and are not the reason I am asking for advice.
So I met this girl at a friends party, let's say she was about 22 years old,who was really into me and we spent the night getting very "intimate" she kept making remarks like "if you weren't a virgin I would fuck you so hard, but I don't want to take your virginity. " and other things along those lines. I am not emotionally invested in her, I am confident in saying that the attraction is 97% physical. Let me just add that I am pretty mature for my age (older than 15 but younger than 18) and I have been sort of waiting for the perfect girl to lose my virginity to, but I don't value it that much. Also the reason it was so hard to turn down, was she was my type in the sense that if I were to rate her out of 10 (not personality) I would give her a 10. So I met her at a party last weekend and am probably going to see her next weekend, how do I decide whether I should lose my virginity to her? | beautiful girl wants to sleep with me, she's about 8 years older than me and I am under 18 and a virgin, should I do it? |
t3_1gu3xt | relationship_advice | How do you get an honest answer about why things didn't work? | Long explanation about what I mean. 24[M] Just starting dating, been using online sites to meet and chat with girls, so I'm new to it all really. I don't know about the unspoken rules or dos and don'ts. Anyways when I'm getting along with a woman, chatting for several days or even after being on a few dates and they either stop messaging back or seem not interested anymore. I'd like to know how I can politely ask them what or why they are no longer interested. What did they either notice about me, or something I did that turned them off. Strictly for analytical and self improvement if I think it's worth it. | How do I ask for and get an honest response about how/what/why they lost interest in getting to know me? |
t3_2jwwiv | relationships | Me [17M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 1.7 years long relationship, i miss hanging out with my bros but i only see her for a short while everyday | My girlfriend and I really love each other, we've had some rough patches here and there but in the end we love each other. I started missing my bros. Here's some background, we both still go to highschool and the only free time I have is during our lunch break which is only 45 minutes a day. Ever since we dated my girlfriend and I hung out together and sometimes with mutual friends. But its come to the point where my bros and i dont talk that much anymore. I want to reconnect with them during that lunch period but at the same time i dont want my girlfriend to feel like im neglecting her. She is understanding but seeing that look on her face when i say im going to hang out with my bros just makes me not go because she looks so sad. | should i hang out with my bros or should i stay with my girlfriend? its hard to find a balance tho. |
t3_zz9zt | dating_advice | (22M) recently single and a bit lost. | I am 22M and recently single for the first time in a long time. I was with this girl for over 2 years but was with someone else before this I've never done the one night stand thing. Not fully sure what the best way to get "back out there" so to speak.
If I am honest I miss having someone to be close with. And if I am really honest I miss sex.
Most of my friends are in relationships and hard to get hold of for nights out. I am pretending I am happy when people ask but I am getting lonely. Any advice? | (22M) haven't been single for years. Needs advice on how to get meeting people just for fun and not feel guilty about it. |
t3_3cy36w | tifu | TIFU by telling a friend about my birth. | While my fuck up occurred a few years ago, I did not find out the consequence of my actions until recently.
It all starts with my complicated birth. In the process of being born I some how managed to inhale my Meconium (Look it up). I came out not breathing, so I was resuscitated. It was then doctors found I had a collapsed lung so they put me on a ventilator. A day later I developed pneumonia, at which point doctors told my parents I had only a few days to live due to my deteriating condition. But baby me was having none of that, and after 2 shaky weeks I was taken out of intensive care, where I spent another few weeks in hospital making a full recovery.
Fast forward around 12 years, and near death experiences comes up in conversation with a friend. So I tell my very good friend the story (this was fuck up, Should have kept it to myself). Now I did tell him strictly, under no circumstances should he tell anyone, but he's a bit of a dick so he thought it would be funny to do so anyway.
But what makes this so bad is that the story he had heard had a large discrepancy to the original. In the story he told I some how inhaled my mothers ......, yeah during the birthing process (like WTF, surly at this point he must have thought "hmm this makes no sense what so ever, it can't be true" but obviously this thought never crossed his mind). He told this to a lot of his classmates, and so, like every rumour it spread like fire across my year. And it wasn't until years later I found out what he had done. When my story came up in conversation again he gave me this funny look, then proceeded to die of laughter once realising what he had done. So a large group of people at my school thought that I had nearly been killed by my mother in probably one of the worst possible ways. | friend misinterprets story, now large amount of my school year thinks my mother nearly killed me by defecating into my lungs. |
t3_pruob | AskReddit | Have you ever randomly met someone that made a huge impact on you, and never spoke to them again? | When I was getting ready to leave for basic training for the Marines, I was at MEPs in New Orleans and I was there alone for 2 days. (Scared shitless) Well, I was going to eat at the hotel's dining area and I saw 2 younger guys walking in front of me. To avoid having people I didn't want to sit with me, or just look like a loser sitting alone, I asked them if I could sit with them. We all sat down, talked about the branches we were joining, made jokes on themselves because they were Army and I am a tiny little girl joining the Marines. We hung out all that day until we had to go back to our rooms. The next day before leaving, I told them to not forget to say "Yes sir, and no sir" ya know, typical pre-basic training bullshit. They laughed, and told me to not call my DI a "sir", then both gave me a hug and wished me luck. I never forgot how they made me have more confidence with my decision. And I have never seen or heard from them since. Sometimes total strangers can make you feel THAT much better. | Two guys boosted my confidence before leaving for basic. Never spoke to them again after MEPs. Never really got to thank them. |
t3_12pszp | relationships | Me [23M] moved for my first job. I'm really lonely and miss her [19f] and all my friends. What do? | I might also cross post this in /r/jobs. I'm not sure if I'll get any answers here, but sometimes it just helps to write it all out.
So, little about me, I'm a pretty antisocial guy...before college I didn't really have any friends. I got there and made a ton, and it's been a huge improvement to my life. Two years before I was set to graduate, I met this girl. Now, not just any girl, the girl of my dreams.
Through the next two years, we really got close; she pulled me through some real dark times and me, likewise.
So I graduated and she's still got a few years left. I am/was worried about my career. We spent an amazing summer together, me living at her place. Then I got a call and got a great offer. After some heartache, I took it. She didn't really want to, but agreed to do an LDR.
So now I'm down here, and she...really isn't able to do the LDR thing. She says she needs the physicality of it; without me actually there, she has some serious depression issues that are coming back, issues that went away as long as I was with her.
On top of that my job works me overtime most nights so I haven't really had a chance to get out and meet people - and even if I did, I'm pretty bad at making new friends. I really miss the ones I had up there, having a ready social group is a real comfort.
We've talked about me moving back there in six months, but I'm not sure if that's the best idea; I have a year lease here now, I have a well paying job (to be honest I'm still a little proud at getting it). She's one of those people that you maybe get one of in your life and two if you're super super lucky. I don't know how lucky I'll be with future relationships... | Moved for work, after a month girlfriend can't handle the distance and either I drop the job to find one up there in six months or we end it. |
t3_20aedb | relationships | I[21 F] feel insecure that a man [22 M] can be happy with one woman forever short-description | My boyfriend & I met online 3 years ago, we instantly got along really well. I took his virginity, we started dating & moved in together very quickly. He wants to move out of state in a few months & I'm worried because I feel like after we move he's going to get bored. We are super happy together & have sex every single day, we play games together. I know the only reason he might not be happy is that I'm not as ambitious as him, but he knows I'm working on that & the fact that I'm the only woman he's ever had sex with. He has suggested threesomes & we've had a 4 some, & attempted one FFM threesome. The foursome was pretty fun for us but I totally freaked out & got jealous when we had the threesome & he actually seemed pissed about that which bothered me a lot. He keeps suggesting we do a threesome with another guy because he thinks it will make me feel alright about another FFM threesome, when I'm not sure I could ever do that again. I ask him if he's bored all the time, he always says he's not.. I would be less worried, but I know he used to be super into porn, until I found it & told him I had an issue with how much he was using it (at least 150 pics downloaded to his phone & he would look at porn on the net for at least a half hour a day) He would get off when I was sleeping in bed next to him to girls on /r/gonewild. He seems to have stopped doing this but who really knows. I only asked him to stop going behind my back especially when I wanted to have sex everyday & sometimes he couldn't get it up. Also, would a man really look at porn that much if he was attracted to his SO? Am I being completely unreasonable? & Can a man really be happy only fucking one woman forever?
Help please, Reddit. | I think my boyfriend wants to be with other women before he'd be happy settling down with me, I don't know how to deal with this. |
t3_3v755n | relationships | I [21 M] had a flashback of my ex girlfriend [22F] while hooking up with my new girlfriend [21F] and I am feeling kind of guilty over it. | I met my ex girlfriend my freshman year of college when I was barely an 18 year old kid. She was my first everything yada yada yada. When we broke up, I was pretty crushed and it took me a very long time to get over her.
My current girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months, and what happened last night has never happened before. While we were fooling around before bed and passionately making out, I had a flashback to laying in my dorm room freshman year with my ex girlfriend on top of me. I feel really terrible that I had this thought. I really like my current gf and she's worlds better than my ex in almost every category so I really don't know why this happened.
Should I feel guilty? Did I do anything wrong? This isn't as heavy as most of the stuff posted in this sub but it's really been eating away at me. Any advice would be appreciated. | Thought of an early intimate moment with my ex gf that happened almost 3 years ago while hooking up with my girlfriend last night. |
t3_4r8v0z | relationships | Me [33 M] about to end a friendship [34 F]. Need some assurance I'm doing the right thing. | Brief backstory: we met about a year and a half ago and connected immediately in a way we both thought was pretty amazing. I fell in love fast but she had just gotten out of a relationship and couldn't think about dating but we basically ended up in an emotional relationship. Which was fine, she lives in another country. We've been visiting each other a lot, and back in december she decided she was ready to try being in a relationship with me, but it only lasted about a week. We made out a couple times, and then she freaked out. She has some pretty serious issues with love and relationships, so it wasn't a huge surprise, but still incredibly disappointing.
We've been working really closely together, she started a new career as a filmmaker recently and I've become an integral part of that career. We've worked on several projects together and we both agree we make each other better at what we do. It's really unlike anything either of us have ever been part of, but she won't let it become romantic.
She was just visiting me to work on a new project and left yesterday and I feel like I have to end it. She told me a few nights ago she felt like she was ready to pursue a relationship, but she wasn't talking about me, and when I kind of mentioned it the next day she said I needed to find a way to deal with my feelings or things would go bad. And she's right, because if she meets someone else I'm going to be heartbroken. In fact I already am.
She's been emailing me and texting me about the current project and she wants me to help her write her first feature script, and when she asked me to it made me really happy, but I feel like I have to end it before she meets someone else. I have a letter written and ready to send via email (I know if I try it face to face over skype I won't say the things I want to say).
I just need some assurance that this is the right thing to do. It feels like there is no right decision here, everything feels so wrong. The only thing that feels right is me and her together, but it's not something she's willing to consider. | Strongly considering ending a great working relationship because I'm in love and she's not. Am I doing the right thing? |
t3_4iv6sp | relationships | I [27 M] split from my finacée [26 F] of 6 years. She's moved on instantly to other people, including one of my 'friends'. I am distraught. | We had originally agreed to split amicably. Things just weren't working.
I was still living with her whilst we sorted arrangements. She took too long to sort herself out (one of the reasons for splitting - that was her in general) - after seeing her post publicly about all the dating site messages she got - and showing me tinder notifications/messages, I moved out.
Whilst we were living together but not together, apparently she started seeing all sorts of people. Including one of my friends. Describes it as "time to have some fun" to people who have told me what's happening.
She's basically gone full blown casual sex mode from what I know. Which is hurting me after being exclusive for so long.
I was fine separating, I really was but everything that has come to light has suddenly crushed me. I struggle to eat, I struggle to focus at work, all I do is sit around and think about it. All I can think is how could she do that, what's she probably doing tonight/right now and if they've done it on purpose to be vindictive towards me. Part of me wants to do the same and just go chat up/screw everyone - but I know that isn't me and that I wouldn't even be able to pull it off anyway. I think that's just my way of thinking I'd feel better about the situation.
I've been told to refocus on me. Remember what I like to do and do that. I've tried but the rest of my thoughts are consuming me. I cannot get the mental images out of my mind to let the better thoughts in.
The only thing that really works is just talking to people but that's only a temporary solution as they act as a distraction. | Fresh break up, she's doing fine and being promiscuous instantly, I'm crushed and can't get the thoughts out of my mind. |
t3_3waozd | tifu | TIFU by wanting cool lights | I'm a computer gamer. I've had the same very powerful PC for 2 years. I recently purchased a very nice looking case for my computer. Set everything up, and turned it on. The computer worked fine but one thing was missing. The front lights, which should have been glowing red. I compulsively opened back up my computer, and searched for a loose cable. Eventually I found it. The cable was labeled "PWR LED" but was shaped really strange. So I plugged it in anyway into my computer because I just could NOT live without cool lights. I pressed power, wanting to bask in the glow of my new case. Sparks flew out of my PC. Turns out the cable had a special port adapter I was not aware of. Now nothing happens. Won't even show the slightest signs of life. Right now i'm typing this from my smart phone. Thank god for smart phones. This is my first TIFU. It sucks. | Plugged in a cool LED into the insides of my gaming computer, sparks flew, and the computer is broken because I was unaware of a required special adapter. |
t3_1u7zl3 | relationships | I [18M] cheated on my girlfriend [21F], how can I regain her trust? | So, I cheated on my girlfriend and we're pretty serious
I never went and slept with the girl but have had a long distance... thing, I guess. An FWB type of thing, and treated her like a girlfriend. This had been going on before I got together with my girlfriend (we've been dating about six months and are pretty serious)... the only reason I didn't stop things with the long distance girl was because she has major depression issues.
Twice in my life I've broken up with women who were depressed (as someone who suffered for years, I attracted a lot of depressed people) and had to call ambulances as they tried to kill themselves. It scares me. Girlfriend was using my phone to look something up and saw the texts between me and the other girl, and she doesn't trust me as much. She wasn't mad, we're still together, she's just... disappointed. And I want to stop everything with this other girl but every time I've thought about it, I get scared. I can't spend another night wondering if it's my fault someone died. I can't.
I've wanted to stop everything with this other girl for a long time, because I really love my girlfriend. But... I just don't know how, and don't know how to patch things up with my girlfriend, either.
I mean, if it was just some random girl, I'd have no problem saying "We can't do this." But girls with depression... I've almost had two people kill themselves over me, and I can't deal with that. I can't. I haven't slept for two days and I'm crying and scared and having flashbacks and I don't know what to fucking do.
I'm really scared, /r/relationships. Please help. | Cheated on girlfriend with depressed girl, past trauma scares me from ending things with girl I cheated with. Want to patch things up with girlfriend. |
t3_3gb2g8 | running | Wahoo! | So I just started running seriously about a month ago. Started with one mile. Last Saturday I did 8 and felt great. I've even registered for a half marathon in October, which I've been training for. About halfway through the day on Sunday I started getting a shooting pain through the outside of my left foot. My physician thought it might be a stress fracture and sent me for X-rays , and referred me to a podiatrist.
The podiatrist said no stress fracture, gave me a cortisone shot, some anti inflammatories, and special inserts for my sneakers. Today I was pain free for the first time in a week and I've been given the go-ahead to continue running tomorrow! Wahoo! | thought I was sidelined for a few months with a stress fracture. Podiatrist worked wonders and I'm running again! |
t3_35sxj8 | offmychest | Blew a few hundred bucks just to break the law. | Maybe... I don't know the specifics legally, but there are these raffles I've done a few of, totally legit from a reputable source and everything. I read the full rules on their site before I got my first ticket awhile ago, or so I thought. Since then I have spent... damn, I think around $500. Well anyway I just now read the rules again and found a few things I don't remember reading before, the most important of which is that apparently it's not allowed to buy raffle tickets in my state (WA). I checked the state site and selling raffle tickets online is not allowed by state law, I guess that includes buying them from out-of-state sellers.
The sales have been going through just fine, they've been taking my money and I assume/trust that they've been writing a ticket with my name and dropping it in. Even though apparently me buying it was illegal all along... I'm in one that draws tomorrow and now I'm really hoping I lose (999/1000 chance of that so should be fine). I've been fine spending the money to support the organization and to have the excitement of maybe winning something I really want, it's all been good fun, but now it's all ruined, I feel like an idiot, and I'm slightly concerned I'm gonna actually somehow win this one and end up in flippin' legal trouble instead of getting my awesome prize.
Even though I'm responsible for knowing the law/the rules (I really do swear I read this same rules page when I started though, and don't remember seeing this.........) and I take responsibility, I'm honestly a bit peeved that every time I've participated they've let the whole thing go through without a peep - clearly they know about the law as they posted it on their site so it'd be cool if they, y'know, mentioned something to me about how I'm doing this freaking illegally instead of just letting it go through...
Sorry if this is all a bit of a mess, I'm just ticked about the whole thing. Also upset at my state for what seems like a pretty fucking stupid law. | not legal to get raffle tickets online in my state, just found out and have been wasting money on them for awhile. |
t3_v24s4 | AskReddit | What are some of the most out-of-the-blue, "WTF" things someone has said to you within the first 10 minutes of meeting them? I'll start.. | I took my dog to the park yesterday and this young girl about 10 or 11 years old arrives shortly after with her two dogs. (This park is adjacent to a lower-income townhouse complex which is where I could see this girl appear from.) Anyway, she walks over to me and begins to talk to me about her dogs, friends, family and other random things. She seems like a lonely kid so I humor her and listen.
She then goes on to tell me that her step-dad does not trust her. When I ask why, she tells me that it might be because when was 7 she began plotting to poison him. Mouth. drops. I ask where she would find poison and she told me that she found bottles in the garage with "poison pictures" on them and had tried to plant it in his food and drink for over two years. I asked her why she would try to poison him and she said simply because she didn't like him. As you can imagine, I got the hell out of there fast. | Little girl I met at the park confessed to the attempted poisoning of her step dad because she "didn't like him." |
t3_ecy47 | AskReddit | Should I tell her? | So I have been sort of friends with this girl since high school (5 years ago). It wasn't until recently that I really started hanging out with her a lot (maybe the past 6 months or so). We've gotten pretty close, and recently realized how much I REALLY like her, but there's one minor snag - her boyfriend of the past 5 years. In any other case, I'd drop it there, and convince myself that I don't like her, but she's been telling me about how much he annoys her, that she tried to break up with him once in the past, and that she told him that they should probably break up because he's going to be going away somewhere for school again. So now I have been trying to figure out if I should tell her how I feel, wait for another few months until the current boyfriend leaves, wait until some other moment, or what. I've come THIS close to telling her, and then chickening out b/c I don't want her to think I'm an asshole asking her to break up with him. Also, I'm about 85% sure she likes me, but I could be completely off base here... | I got close to a girl who has a boyfriend, he might be leaving soon anyway, should I tell the girl how I feel now, or wait until they break up? Or something else entirely? |
t3_3j6762 | tifu | TIFU by typing on my Teachers computer. | Okay, this happened a long time ago, but I remember it crystal clear as if it was yesterday.
I was in primary school in the midst of one of my favourite lessons, ICT/IT. My class and I were sitting in the computer room waiting to be let onto the computers (teacher liked to brief us for twenty minutes on what we are doing before allowing us to use the computers) listening to... we'll call her Mrs Rolo. Anyways, Mrs Rolo comes to the end of her briefing on today's ICT/IT task and finally allows us onto the computer, and today it was my turn to go onto the computers teacher!
(Every student would get to use the teachers computer at least once if their behaviour was good in the ICT/IT lessons, that day was my scheduled day)
So I quickly rush onto the computer, keen to be in the seat of power. Here is where I fucked up, at the age of 7 years old, when I had the memories of last nights episode of Tom & Jerry running through my mind, I let it slip from my mind that this very special computer was hooked up to the projector that projects the computers screen on the wall for everyone to see.
Trying to impress my two friends beside me, I whispered "look at this" as I typed out "lesbian penuses" (Yes I did spell it penuses back then) obviously we're all sniggering and laughing our asses off, two seconds later and the whole class is laughing and pointing at the wall behind me. What do I turn around and see projected on the wall in all its glory? That's right, "lesbian penuses" is sprawled across the wall in large bold writing. My computer was quickly turned off and I was immediately pulled out of the classroom, taken to the head teachers office to be given a telling off about the usage of bad words and my mother called, to inform her of my new found vocabulary. | Went on teachers computer that was connected to a projector, projecting onto the wall, wrote "lesbian penuses" and got caught & punished. |
t3_138dzh | AskReddit | Reddit, What is Your Most It's Not What It Looks Like Situation? I'll Start...(Possibly NSFW) | So, basically, I have this friend whom of which I'm not too close with but I still kept in touch because of other mutual friends. So what happens is one day, he sends me this link and me, being innocent just decides to open it. At the time, I was starting to be loaded into this game I play so I click the link, then Alt+Tab into my game. Well, I start playing this game for about maybe 30-40 minutes and after it's over my brother walks in and says he wants to check on something, keeping in mind that I still have my link open on a different window. (I think you see where this is going.) So, I'm just like sure and I change tabs to look at this link, only to find that it freaking some kind of porn site. I was just shocked and my brother looks up and sees it and misunderstands that I was doing something with it. I'm like too shocked to even explain to him the situation so I just close the tab and continue on to start berating at my friend whom of which sent me the link. He just walks out of room and I'm basically sitting there, just thinking man, now I get the term "It's not what it looks like." Anyway, that's my story and I'm somewhat youngish. I also didn't try to explain the situation because I thought it would kinda sound like I was trying to cover the whole thing up. Geez. Enlighten me. | Friend sends me link and I click it and change tabs to browse reddit. Bro comes in and change back tab and its porn. I am shocked and he just walks out. |
t3_19a5c7 | relationships | I [19M] want to be in a relationship built off friendship [19F] | I have feelings for my friend I have known for a month and would like a relationship with her currently or at some point in the future.
I know now isn't the best time to begin a relationship for the both of us, but I still like her personality and think we would make a great couple.
I want to be in a relationship built off friendship and I plan on building up our friendship for a while so we both can trust each other with a lot.
I don't see my feelings for her going away for a while. If I tell her I like her, and want to be in a relationship at some point onward, and it doesn't have to be now, how would she react? | I want to be in a relationship built off friendship. If I tell her I like her, and want to be in a relationship at some point onward, and it doesn't have to be now, how would she react? |
t3_2pyb4n | relationships | How do I learn to be happy while I'm single [M18] | My now ex-girlfriend [F17] of 8 months and I just severed ties for good, and I feel crushed among other things. She was my first and only girlfriend, and I really felt connected and bonded to her.The past 8 months were the happiest of my life and now it's over.
I understand that I may sound like a melodramatic and whiny teenager but this is how I feel. I wasn't unhappy before we dated, but I wasn't happy either. I felt lonely and like something was missing in my life.
When we were dated I felt complete and content. It was the first time in my life that I was consistently felt happy. And now I'm back to square 1.
I understand that what I'm going through is an experience that everyone goes through, and that it is nothing compared to some of the other problems posed on this subreddit. With that said I still feel awful. I am also worried that I might have a problem as I am not sure how to be happy single.
So going back to the title, how do I learn to be happy single? | my first and only girlfriend and I are through, and I have a bad case of the feels. I want to learn how to enjoy life without being in a relationship. |
t3_1rmqmi | relationship_advice | How do I [21/f] get over someone I thought I trusted [20/m]? | So basically I really liked this guy who I lived with and it made me act really weird towards him because I couldn't express it to him because we lived together. I felt a need to seek his approval to show that I wasn't weird or some weird shit like that. Anyway, so I apologised for being weird, tried to vaguely explain what was going on, how he made me feel crap and the like but he is now ignoring me, despite telling a mutual friend that he is worried about me. I feel so let down and so ashamed for even liking this guy but I've liked him for so long that I don't know how to stop. Due to circumstances I haven't seen him for almost 6 months now, and not talked to him properly for like 3 and I still can't get over it. The worst thing is is that I'm gonna have to see him next year for university and I'm so embarrassed and pissed off about the whole thing I don't know how I'll be able to. Any advice would be very much welcome. | guy ignored me in time of need how do I get myself to say fuck dat bitch and move on but still be able to face him when I have to. |
t3_3if3ql | relationships | [22M] My ex [24F] emailed my mom today out of the blue with a cruel lie and I'm going insane trying to figure out why. | The last contact I had with my ex was last week when I told her that, no, we couldn't be friends after everything that happened because I would always have feelings for her and we had both hurt each other too much over the last year of our relationship when we codependently lived together, and the two months following our breakup. I told her I wanted to say goodbye for the rest of our lives, and I wrote her an email straight from the heart. I was sad that she didn't even acknowledge receiving it and sent a couple of one liner follow-ups the next day to see if she had read it, and then I cut the cord. I was really sad but overall doing pretty well the following days: I went to work, hung out with my new work friends over the weekend, exercised, checked off some goals, set some new ones, etc.
Today, she emailed my mom completely out of the blue and made something up about how I'm creating false online identities to contact her. I have absolutely no idea why she would do this and it's driving me nuts. It's completely out of her character.
I'm hurt by this and feel myself being pulled back into the breakup blues. I don't want to eat or climb out of bed at all. I was very concerned for her these last two months because she was making a lot of alarming and emotionally-overwhelming life decisions post-breakup, which made it nigh impossible to detach myself, and now I'm not sure if she's continuing to break down or if she's suddenly malicious and I need to watch out. She's also living with her rebound boyfriend, who might be manipulating her as he's liked her for 7 years despite never meeting IRL until she moved in, and he "helped [her] realize what was wrong with our relationship" back before we broke up. So this could be his doing. Or maybe she wants revenge because she wanted to be friends and I don't.
What do I do? How do I possibly deal with this healthily? | I decided to cut things off with my ex permanently after 2 months of a messy breakup. One week later she randomly emails my mom and tells her that I've been creating false online identities to contact her. Wat do? |
t3_my60q | AskReddit | Dilemma with the love of my life... | So there's this girl who I've basically been in love with for 5 years. We've dated a few times and it never worked out. Well now we're both in college, and our friendship and relationship picked back up in the past couple months or so. We've been hanging out all the time and fucking nonstop. She had her first acid trip with me and it was beautiful. There have been so many amazing moments in the past few months and i couldn't have been happier, until the other day.
This guy I sort of know that she used to date came around here about a week ago to party and met up with heather. He invited her to go to the club and she said yes. Today she went and got a bunch of new clothes and let him give her his opinion, and now they're gonna do ecstasy together at the club tonight. She told me all this because she trusts me, and i trust her too.... but how far should my trust go? The whole situation seems sketchy, plus I know how things can get when you do x. I have a friend who's been wanting to fuck for a while, more attractive than heather too. But I always turned her down for the girl I love. But after what I found out tonight, and knowing that heather will probably fuck her ex, I kinda wanna fuck this girl. So, reddit, what should I do? Trust the girl I love, or fuck a more attractive girl to get revenge for something that may or may not happen? | A girl I'm in love with who claims to love me is going to the club with her ex. Should I pursue an interest in another girl tonight since she's gonna be with another guy? |
t3_1w0agk | relationships | I [15M] don't know how to tell my best friend [15F] that I want to be more | Long post.
So I met this girl back in 2012 at a friend's party. We exchanged numbers and started texting. She's been my best friend ever since.
We're both single, but she's been in a relationship and had her first kiss, but I have not.
Last year I got closer to her than anyone else in the world. We tell eachother pretty much everything.
Now she has had a crush on one of my guy gest friends since September. As far as I know he does not like her back.
This girl and I have so much in common, I really like her, hell I love her. But I never get to see her cause she goes to the high school across town.
I want to tell her that I want to be more than just friends, but I'm worried about what will happen if I do. I don't want to kill our friendship. I mean we've playfully said 'love you' on New Years, Christmas and eachother's birthdays, but I don't think she was being totally serious (Hard to tell over text)
How can I tell her I want to be in a relationship with her without potentially damaging our friendship? | I want to tell my best friend that I never see that u want to be more than friends without potentially hurting out friendship |
t3_33f0ds | relationships | Me [25F] having a really difficult time moving on from ex [27m] | My ex and I only dated for a few months but we were very much in love and serious about the future. Or, so I thought. He constantly showered me with affection - telling me I am his dream woman and how much he loved me. During the relationship I became extremely depressed (not because of him) and some things I said somehow triggered his insecurities (he has been cheated on in both of his LTR and he feels like he is just 'any other guy' and people don't love him for HIM) causing him to break up with me.
I have had an impossible time letting go. Right after the breakup he was very nice (it was long distance), we saw one another once, when he came to town to visit his family, and he later told me he had a great time and that he was 'drooling' over me. I think he was confused and he started sending mixed messages and it got worse and worse and now he refuses to speak to me at all. I am not sure why. My only guess is because he randomly got a job offer in another state and moved all within the course of 2 weeks and he's been stressed. I tried to talk about our relationship with him too much and he said going back and forth with me about it is 'torture'. He also said he has to let me hate him because thats the only way I will move on.
I am devastated. I will never hate him - I have been in many longer relationships and have never felt that someone was so perfect for me. I love him so much and I would do anything to be with him. I made mistakes but have been in intense therapy and know I am healing and getting better. I just don't know what to do. I've read breakup books, I am in therapy, I have tried meeting other people, but I still think he is absolutely the one for me. I literally would give a finger if it meant I could be with him. I miss him and love him so much and don't know what to do. | Ex broke up with me two months ago and although I have sought help and done a lot of self-work - I am still devastated and think he is the one for me. |
t3_4bjhjw | relationships | How do I [28F] tell my FWB [27M] that his recent weight gain is ruining our physical relationship? | I've known this guy for a long time; we are good friends and I value our relationship beyond the sexual dynamic. But I also really enjoyed our physical relationship -- he's an attractive guy and our chemistry is great. However, he recently came back from a long trip abroad and I was started by how much weight he's gained. His lifestyle now is much less healthy: he stopped all the athletic activities he used to enjoy and I see him making lots of unhealthy food choices. I knows he was depressed for a few months while he was away. These changes are probably all related. So I'm not sure what to do. We hung out twice since he came back and both times I declined to have sex with him. I still love his face and kissing him -- but I can't bring myself to want anything more. I'm just not attracted to his body.
How do I talk to him about this? How can I explain how I feel without hurting his feelings? He will notice my reduced interest. But I also want his old body back. And I want him to be healthy and happy. He hasn't brought up dissatisfaction with his own body, but I think he must be aware of what's happening. Unfortunately, I can't offer to be physically active with him due to current health issues. And we don't see each other frequently enough for me to influence his behavior with my behavior.
Lastly, this physical change in him is difficult on me because I've been trying hard to stay fit and maintain my old weight in the face of my current health issues and forced reduced physical activity. I'm sad he just gave up on himself because this is something important to me. | I'm no longer physically attracted to my FWB after he gained weight. I want to save the physical relationship and really want to save our long friendship. How do I talk to him about this? |
t3_4g05tx | relationships | I (31/m) have been invited to three out of town weddings by my gf (29/f) of 1.5 years and I'd rather not go to all of them | Hi reddit.
My girlfriend and I cohabitate. Our relationship is, for the most part, wonderful.
A big difference is that she is an extrovert, has tons and tons of friends, many of whom live out of town, while I am more introverted, have a select group of close friends and that's it. Also: she loves weddings; I hate weddings.
Three of her friends are getting married this summer. I have briefly met one of the couples, while I don't even think I've ever seen pictures of the other two couples (needless to say, these aren't her closest friends.) All three weddings are out of town. Two are about a 1.5 hour drive, the other is about a 2.5 hour drive.
I have agreed to the two closer weddings. One we'll be spending the night, the other we'll drive back (I don't drink much so it's not an issue.)
The third one I am balking it. Quite frankly I don't want to spend an entire weekend on going to a wedding of someone I do not know and will probably never see again. I will also not know anyone at this wedding. By balking at it, I have upset my GF.
I realize that in any relationship, there has to be give and take. And there is lots of give and take in ours. But am I taking too much if I don't go to one of these weddings? | happy to go to 2/3 out of town weddings, the other one I don't want to go to. This has led to much grief. |
t3_1j4s3i | relationship_advice | Can you guys give some outside perspective? Me (f 25) him (27) together five and a half years. This is a frequent problem. | This is a text conversation that I feel is an example of a problem we have a lot.
The problem
He seems to think that I am rude, mean, cruel, messing with him a lot. And I think I'm just expressing myself in a regular manner. I know it's not always ideal, but I don't feel that most communicating is done in 100% ideal manner, and I don't feel that he is always the nicest he can be when he talks to me about things that are bothering him. I still try to listen and not get defensive. I feel that I really have tried to come to him in a calm, nice manner, but he will still accuse me of the above grievances. This has caused a lot of issues with me because I feel that I can't talk to him about anything that I find remotely upsetting. I'm sort of at my wits end because I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to speak to him properly. No one has ever said anything like this to me before.
Some background for the texts
We're trying to find an apartment. It's hard because the city we live in has exploded in population without the housing to back it up. Rent increases every year. Apartments are rented out in a matter of days. I am having a hard time finding everything he wants in our price range which is low for the area. In a text I sent yesterday (not pictured) I told him I didn't believe I could find everything he wants in our price range and that we will need to give some things up in order for us to find a place. He said he mostly agreed. I asked for what he didn't agree with. Later that day I told him that without that info I don't know what to look for in apartments. The pictures are our first interaction since then.
Am I a huge asshole? I really wasn't trying to be mean. I'm just being straightforward. Help me! | He think I'm mean when expressing my concerns. I think I'm just being honest and not mean. Image link is an example of this. |
t3_qunmg | AskReddit | war coming home | the weekend before last, my 6-yr-old son wanted to have his friend from school and swim class over for the day, but when we asked his mom she says she was leaving that monday to be deployed as a combat nurse (army reservist) to afganistan for six months and didn't feel much like sharing her kid in the meantime, which i of course understood and tried my best to make my son understand (no idea if it worked, prolly not). she shipped out right to where all the fall out from the shooting rampage has just broken out.
this is the first person i know who's actually over there in the shit -- my aunt went to iraq, but as a navy captain, she was well guarded.
to be honest though, i don't really know this woman and i am feeling crazy conflicted over the sense of worry i feel -- of course i am worried for her safety and the idea of her little boy (who's an awesome kid) having to be on the front row of a funeral freaks me the fuck out.
but i also cannot help but fear the conversation i would have to have with my son. i don't want him to have to know about this stuff.
i've personally never taken comfort in the "jesus called [him/her] home" stuff that people say and since we don't go to church, it would be grossly disingenuous of me to offer it anyway.
my dad always tells me how bad he felt for me when a friend of mine died when i was a kid and how he wished i didn't have to know, i think i understand that now.
but, is this just first-world-problems and i should just shut the fuck up/man up/whatever?
i see the flag-wavers and the prostesters who all seem so sure of themselves but for me, this is the first time in my life when shit just got real, i've never felt this way, this isn't leukemia or a car accident, this is war.
i thought i knew what the war was about, but now i know have no real idea. i wonder if people felt so disconnected from the hostilities during vietnam? | my 6yr old son's buddy's mom is in the worst part of afganistan right now and it's kind of freaking me out. |
t3_31nooi | relationships | Me (20 F) with my BF (20 M) of a year- I brought up his personal hygiene problem and he FREAKED | I KNOW ITS GROSS. but i love him so much. he doesnt brush his teeth twice a day and I can usually see yellow/plaque stuff on his teeth. Of course it makes me not want to kiss him, so I kind of avoid sex because kissing leads into sex. So obviously our sex hasn't been that frequent (I like having sex, I just don't like kissing because his teeth).
We got in a fight the other day about us not having sex and he asked me why I never initiate it- so I finally told him. He completely freaked out at me. He called me shallow and pointed out things that he puts up with about me (i got an IUD that caused pretty bad acne, but it's cleared up now but he brought up the fact that he ignored it because he loved me). He kept saying he didnt know how he loved someone that was so shallow and that he needed time and felt like he didnt even know me- all because i avoid kissing him when he hasnt brushed his teeth in a few days.
Am I in the wrong? It's not like I told him he is fat or pointed out something that is hard to change. Brushing your teeth is common personal hygiene that everyone should do- I don't know why it's even an issue with him but it is. Am I shallow for not wanting to kiss someone that hasn't brushes in a few days? Do I "love him less" (his words) because I didn't just overlook his flaw (THAT'S EASILY CHANGEABLE)? I have no idea what to think about this.
He also told me that I hurt him- that he felt like I had ripped out his heart and he felt heart broken. All because I avoid kissing when he hasn't brushed his teeth. He said he wasn't going to break up with me (he was acting like he wanted to, so I kept asking because I was scared) but he said he won't be able to handle if I "hurt him again". | i told boyfriend i avoid kissing because he doesnt brush his teeth regularly, he freaked out and cried and told me i was shallow and wondered why he loved me if i couldnt look over his 'flaw' |
t3_1lv4q8 | relationships | Me [22/M] with my friend [18/F], I need a way to apologize but I am not sure what to say | We were all on a big trip the other night and all staying in the same hotel. I had received some very bad news, work-related, earlier and was just having a really bad day altogether. Anyways, I was drinking with my friends and drank way way too much.
She had told me she had some people in her room so I went up. I acted really, really stupid. I was vulgar, looked angry, and definitely said some mean things that I shouldn't have (not too her but to others in the room). I am so embarrassed at how I acted, that's not me at all. I had been having a rough time lately and the bad news I received just tipped me over. I was honestly on the verge of tears, but it came out as anger instead.
So I do have a little crush on her. Although, I just realized that she just blocked me on instagram, so I know for a fact that I offended her. I realize I have probably ruined a chance of dating her, but I still don't want her to think of me in the way that she saw me on that night.
So I want to apologize to her next time I see her, or at least explain why I was the way I was. However, I always think that showing someone that you are sorry is better than saying it, so I have been trying to figure out a way to show her as well. Anyways, if anyone has any advice for me I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks for listening. | had a shitty day, got drunk, made a giant ass of myself in front of girl I like, need to find a way to smooth things over a bit |
t3_4rroze | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 8 months our relationship is falling apart. | We definitely got very involved very fast. We met and fell together very easily. We both fit into each other's ideal image for a partner physically. We are both extremely driven, ambitious and hard workers. Very shortly after meeting she was sleeping in my apartment every day. A couple of months later we started a business together and are already working on an idea for another. We have several dogs, cats and fish together. It really felt like our relationship was meant to be.
Her family is amazing and she is very attractive and popular so I frequently struggle with self-doubt. Fast forward to now we are living together in a house that I bought despite all odds. We didn't used to fight at all but now it seems like every other day over petty little things. This began a few days before I bought the house when I caught her in a huge lie and decided that I would try to tolerate it for the sake of our relationship but it has been hard and she has not been supportive in that regard. I do all of the housework and animal care and cooking, we have begun sleeping in separate bedrooms. She unfriended me on Facebook. The sex has been very infrequent since our first few months of being together and this is tough for me because I have a relatively high sex drive and she wont even allow small intimacies like kissing or cuddling as consolation to satiate me.
I know this is my fault but I have taken to complaining about every little thing because I am just more an more irritated that she doesn't seem to reciprocate my efforts in the relationship. She is more and more irritated with me and feels like I am not living up to her expectations for a partner. She insists that I don't actually excite her very much and it feels like she is saying she was just settling for me because life would have been good enough that way.
I don't know what to do. Our lives are so deeply intertwined. We work together and go to the same school and are heavily involved in the same volunteer organization and have predominately the same friends. | 8 month relationship falling apart after many months of perfection because we can't seem to move past each other's mistakes. Our lives are very intertwined so a transition would be earth shattering. |
t3_1dw7k5 | jobs | How often is too often to follow up with an internship? | I applied for an internship with a city government in March. Through the application process I called the city (specifically one person in HR) and asked about it.
They originally said the application would be up in October, and when it wasn't I called. In January I spoke to the lady again, and she said they hoped to have up by the end of the month, when they didn't, I called again. It didn't get posted until March. After applying and seeing their interview sessions were in April, I called and asked if they had selected their candidates, and just wanted to know where they were in the process.
She told me that they were behind on some things and hoped to meet at the end of the next week and inform candidates whether they made it to the interview round or not.
So this is my question. It has been over 2 weeks since they were supposed to let us know. I don't want to be that annoying person, but I also am very interested and want that to be known. **So do I just chalk it up to not getting the spot, or do I call and ask again?**
I really would love to have this internship for experience and it's in the area of the US I want to be in. *Thanks! | I have been in touch with this city about a summer internship (roughly 4 calls since January), how much is too much following-up? |
t3_4tk0la | relationships | I [27F] am thinking of reaching out to my ex [29M] of 2 years with 2.5 months of NC for closure. | The title says it all. It may be too soon, I may need more time but a part of me is wondering why I need to follow rules and keep going with NC. My intention to reach out is to clear the air and get rid of any negativity. I don't want to feel any more bitterness or hatred. I also don't want to get back together. I just want us to be mature and acknowledge our relationship ran its course but it wasn't all bad and to move on completely. I'm tired of tip toeing around it. Everyone has a past and everyone deserves a better future.
If I'm not trying to change things or be friends with my ex (right away at least) is this pointless?
Background: Had a somewhat rocky relationship, broke up a couple times. My sister saw him on a dating app. I was in denial til I came to my senses a month later and we broke it off completely. I blocked him and lost all contact. Feel petty for blocking him but you gotta do what you gotta do. He had issues with expressing his emotions so maybe this will all go over his head and he'll distort all this into the idea that I'm the "crazy-ex" so I'm just looking for some sound advice. Thanks! | Is reaching out to an ex for closure (and not to get back together!) a good idea or a waste of time? |
t3_4td1zt | relationships | My [17F] girlfriend called me [18M] her exs name | A little background: My ex and I ended around the same time her relationship ended. I ended my previous, he ended her previous.
Some things to note:
- She has lied to me once before (Her & I were fighting and she said she couldn't come over, but ended up going to target with her sister and then my friends (male) house with her sister because her sister was upset about something.
- She went to prom with her ex(as friends) ending things with me the night of their prom, coming back to me a day or 2 later.
Now on to the story. Her and I went to my friends bonfire last night. Things were going smoothly until a girl she used to not like came. I knew she didn't like the girl, I asked her why. She said that she doesn't not like her anymore but this girl(M) and her ex(T) were close at a point.I offer to go home, and she agrees saying she wants to spend the last few hours she has to cuddle with me before she goes home.
When we get back I tell her that I feel like sometimes she has feelings for her ex(T), and that I'm close with a friend of mine(Girl) and I don't want her to hate my friend. She promises me she doesn't have feelings for her ex or hate my friend. I say 'i hope not' and look at her. She then says "I love you so much, T" (her exs name). I didn't know what to do I was heartbroken and upset. I just wanted to cry and sleep. She ended up having her mom pick her up at 2am-ish.
We talked today and were not broken up, but we're not good. I want advice as to what I should do. | Girlfriend said 'I love you so much,(insert exs name)" and I don't know what to do. |
t3_2rkjvm | relationships | Me (23F) getting a lot of mixed signals from (25M) I've gone on 4 dates with. Is it better to stand back and see how he reacts, or should I just woman-up and ask what his intentions are? | I can't really read this guy I've gone on 4 dates with. Our dates have all seemed pretty successful, but I just can't really gauge his interest at all. He seemed kind of standoffish starting around about our third date. He postponed two dates between our third and fourth dates, and there was a two week gap of time before our fourth date. We've kissed and stuff, and on our fourth date he had the perfect opportunity to take things further physically and he didn't make a move aside from just a goodnight kiss. He didn't say much about making plans to get together again after our fourth date.
I like him, but I don't wanna keep wasting my time and energy thinking about him and keeping him in my picture if he's not interested.
I don't know if 4 dates is too soon to ask what's up, let him know that I'm interested and see if he's interested as well, or if I should just cut my losses, stop talking to him and see if he attempts to initiate conversation any more? | Can't gauge the interest of a guy I've been dating for 1 month/4 dates. Should I ask him if he wants to continue going out, or just cut my losses? |
t3_31ipgg | jobs | Addressing a Career Change in a Cover Letter? | I recently quit my job after 7 years due to burn-out / no opportunities without having anything lined up. I was a manager in Hospitality and never *ever* want to work in another hotel again so I've been applying to other companies as customer service / administrative / department support because I'm trying to get my foot in the door. A lot of my managerial experience doesn't translate to the open managerial positions I'm seeing so I'm not applying for those.
I'm a really hard worker and I'm dedicated, I have no problem starting as entry-level and putting the time in with a company but whatever I'm doing is not being conveyed properly. In my last (and only) interview the person brought up how I'm "switching fields" and while yes, that's true, going from admin/cust service/department support in Hospitality to admin/cust service/department support in X Field doesn't really seem to be a stretch unless they were just nitpicking. I never heard back from them and the job is still posted to this day.
Any thoughts on what I can do to improve my cover letter? | I feel switching fields and not being afraid to start at an entry-level position needs specified in my cover letter because I'm not getting responses to jobs that match my skills. What should I write? Do you have a similar experience? |
t3_3svl1r | relationships | My (35F) boyfriend (36M) of 10 months broke up with me and started dating my best friend (34F) five days later. WTF?!? | I posted once before about this [here](
Today I found out they mark the beginning of their relationship FIVE DAYS after he broke up with me. That very night he said I could come sleep over; he kissed me goodbye after lunch three days later!
I'm at a loss here. Did he ever really love me? He said he did, deeply, and the relationship was amazing for nine months. Taking care of me after surgery seemed to be more than he could handle though. Was he already moving on to her a month before we broke up? I know they hung out without me at least once in that time frame. I also found out that he dated the girl I knew only as his roommate for nearly two years and then broke up with her out of the blue; neither of them ever gave me any hint of any of that, and she still lives with him.
Over the last month, since my "friend" confirmed their relationship, he has changed his phone number, blocked me from both his and her Facebook pages, blocked me from every email address I know of his, and is generally acting like I'm stalking him around town on an hourly basis; I know all this because I was trying to get back some things I forgot he had.
He once told me he had to move home from a different state after he found his then girlfriend and his best friend in bed together and they began threatening his life; why the hell would THEY threaten HIS life? He also told me he no longer speaks to his family because of some overreaction on their part to a simple, honest request of his. I'm beginning to question his side of both stories. WTF is wrong with him? Does he have some distorted way of looking at the world, like extreme paranoia? He's socially anxious with ADHD, but those are the only "issues" I knew of. Is he a sociopath or a narcissist or just extremely self-centered?
Ultimately, I think I found a whole nest of crazy and am thankful I found out sooner rather than later. I cannot wait for them to destroy each other, and I'll never take either of them back. | Just found out my ex-boyfriend started dating my (former) best friend five days after breaking up with me. Was I dating a nut job for 10 months? |
t3_51rn0b | personalfinance | 6 months of lost work due to injury, now having trouble making ends meet. What are my options? | A little late in the game here asking Reddit for help, but hell, I need the help and so I'm asking.
In late June I suffered a Lisfranc ligament tear in my left foot and was instantly out of 6 months of work. (6 months because of the recovery time. I have a very physical job and am currently non weight bearing and on crutches - until October) Now, this is a workers comp case, so I have not been monetarily responsible for any of it. Thankfully. That being said, I continued earning my full pay until my contract was over almost 2 months later. But I'm technically an independent contractor, so once that contract was over, that was it for that "job."
The kicker here is, even though I have a paper trail of proof saying that I was to be hired through February '17, the only contract I had signed so far was that first one. So workers comp (I believe) is no longer responsible for compensating my income.
Now what??
Since that contract ended I've been earning about $100 a week doing a different side job at my work. But that isn't helping me out very much right now what with bills, loans, recent car troubles, etc.
I've been told that I might be able to do something with the fact that there was an intent for work? I've also been told to look into partial unemployment until I am able to work again full time?
Just at a bit of a loss with how to live right now. | Injury - out of work, $100/wk only, can't pay bills, how can I earn more income being on crutches? |
t3_22ilnw | relationships | Me [20M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 1 year, anxious about moving forward a little with the physical aspect to our relationship. (Short read) | So my girlfriend and I just hit our one year, and honestly we both couldn't be more excited! The only problem I have, is that I want to move forward past the physical boundaries that we have set. She is a strong christian, so we agreed on some tight boundaries... (Kissing without touching more then back, neck or arms, no laying down if we are going to kiss, ext.) I am excited to move forward with this girl, but is it wrong to want to move forward with the physical side? Am I a scumbag to even ask? I'm not saying sex, but maybe more touching, being allowed to lay kiss... | Girlfriend and I agreed on boundaries, but I would like to move a little forward (not all the way) with our physical side of our relationship. |
t3_1gw7ts | legaladvice | When can I legally keep a found item? (Washington) | State: Washington
My girlfriend works in a gas station. She found a camera, and took it home to search for the people in it. She remembered the older people who used the bathroom at the station, and found them in the pictures. They were on vacation or something similar.
She looked through the photos, found a graduation photo and managed to Sherlock the name of a person in the photos (obviously the person who was graduating that the pictures were focused on). She managed to find this person on Facebook due to a fairly unique last name and some matching photos. She contacted the person about a month ago and has since had no response from them. There is no other contact info that we can garner. When can we legally keep the camera, or what protections do we have if they come looking for it, trying to say we stole it? | Girlfriend found a camera a month ago, contacted a person from photos via Facebook. She has received no response. Can we keep the camera? |
t3_33ppev | relationships | Me [22 M] can't stop looking at my ex's social media and it's driving me crazy! Help.. | Long story short My GF of 5 months and I broke up in January due to my lack of trust with her in general. We broke up and had remained on somewhat good/talking turns for 2 months. Until I did something stupid, I looked at her social media and thought I saw some guy hitting on her. Even though I was already in a new relationship I called her out on it for sleeping with someone. She got pissed, argument ensued and told me to never talk to her again.
I then proceeded to do the stupidest thing imaginable and message a guy on Facebook out of curiosity asking if they were dating. This apparently is a huge No No. She proceeded to block me on every single social media account we have and refuses to talk to me. Now I'm still wanting to look at her profiles from another account to see if I was right and it's driving me crazy. I shouldn't be like this, I have a new gf I can trust but I can't get my ex out of my mind! | Looked at ex's social media, messaged a guy, ex hates me probably think I'm a stalker, blocks me, I'm still not over her... |
t3_3o23s6 | relationships | Me [21M] with my gf [26F] for a year and a half. Afraid of being too clingy | Dear Redditors,
I've been in a relationship with this amazing woman for more than a year and a half now. I love her. She loves me. She is a nice, kind girl.
My problem is that I love her "too" much. For example, sometimes she doesn't respond right away because she is busy in her work or whatever and I get mad because of that.
I know I have no right whatsoever for this and that I'm acting childish. Also I never revealed that I was pissed or something because that a sure way to turn off a woman.
Okay, I'm a little insecure. She broke up with me two times before for private reasons before she messaged me again telling me how she couldn't get over me and how she wants to try again.
She tells me that she loves me and I believe her (never asked her that or told her to tell me that), but still I'm a little insecure and I love her and I'm acting "too" nice with her and that's not attractive.
I should tease her a little bit and be playful but yeah. I just don't do it.
I had a past relationship before in which I was the same (clingy, needy and too nice) but that happened only once while the rest of my relationships I was cool. of course that relationship didn't last because I turned off the girl.
I need to control myself but I can't. I'm head over heels in love with this woman. | Fell in love, now being all clingy and needy in my mind but never showed it. They only thing I do is being "too" nice which I'm scared it might turn her off. |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.