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t3_2qfwun | relationships | I'm (20f) not sure whether to break up our two year relationship or not. Advice? | We've been together for two years. I moved in with him (20m) and his mother (oops) and I'm moving out back to my dad's house next week, because I'm a bright fuck and thought that living with the boyfriends mother was going to be harmless.
I don't know whether it's the constant piggy in the middle situation he's been put in right now but we're just not on the same page. I love him so much, but we're arguing more, I feel like I'm always dragging him to do anything date-like (which is more about him not wanting to go out and leave the comfort of his room) and I feel more like his buddy than a girlfriend, which can be nice but I don't feel like this is how it should be. I've talked to him and I suggested taking a breather for a couple of weeks or so a while ago, we both ended up in a blubbering mess and it ended in
We go through incredible periods but it just gets stale and I feel like I'm too young to be feeling this lonely. But the idea of not being with him breaks heart.
Is this just what a long term relationship is? I know it's hard to give advice like this because you don't have the full picture but if anyone's been in a similar situation or has any advice I'd really appreciate it. | Relationship of two years going stale, not sure it's worth fighting for anymore. He seems to not be into me anymore but maybe this is what a long term relationship is like? |
t3_2ekbt4 | relationships | How do I (20s M) tactfully compliment my girlfriend (20s F) on her new fitness kick & weight loss? | **Caveat**: My (22M) girlfriend (23F) is great, and my relationship (6 months) is great. My question is not a drama-bomb and neither is my little story.
**Story**: We are currently long-distance, as she is in grad school and I am working elsewhere.
When we got together, she was overweight. I am attracted to her. I would also be attracted to her if she was thinner.
A few months in & back when we were local, she talked about wanting to get fit and lose weight. She asked me if I thought I would be less attracted to a fitter-her. I assured her that I would be fine-going-on-thrilled at the idea. I was clear that I also like her as she is, and (more importantly) that her bodily choices should be about her own health and comfort rather than my preferences.
She has since made diet and lifestyle changes: eating healthier and starting a gym habit. In Skype and in photos she looks hot-as-fuck. I'll be visiting her soon and I'm very excited. My problem, reddit, is that, when there, I want to comment on this without implying that she wasn't hot or didn't look good before.
**Question / | How do I tactfully compliment my girlfriend's weight loss? Alternatively, how do I tactlessly compliment my girlfriend's weight loss? |
t3_493pa0 | relationships | My [21F] Friend [23F] tried Hooking Up with My Boyfriend [21M] | I've been dating this boy for 7 months, I love him and fully trust him. My family went on a vacation and just got back earlier this week, my boyfriend told me that my friend tried hooking up with him while I was gone. They are sorta friends too, we both met him at the same time and he hangs out with both of us, usually not alone with her but he has a few times before. So while I was gone she asked him if he wanted to hang out, he went over to her house and while he was there she started touching him and asked if he wanted to have sex, he said no and got up to leave, and she told him if he doesn't have sex with her she'll tell me that he tried having sex with her. So they didn't hook up but I'm pissed at both of them. I'm mad at him for putting himself in that situation, and I'm mad at her for touching him, trying to have sex with him, and blackmailing him with threatening to tell me he tried initiating it. He showed me texts she sent him that all add up, so I definitely believe his story. I want to confront my friend but it's really awkward and I don't know what to say to her. What should I do? | My friend tried hooking up with my bf while I was on vacation with family, she threatened to tell me he tried hooking up with her if he didn't have sex with her. I'm pissed at both of them. |
t3_161v8z | AskReddit | I think my dad may be addicted to porn. What should I do? | I am a girl living at home while going to community college. I probably will not be moving out soon. My mom is a housewife and my dad works from home, so we are together a lot of the time. I already knew my dad likes porn, which I don't have a problem with. My mom doesn't like porn, and has told me I shouldn't watch it. As far as I know, my parents haven't really discussed their views with each other, but I don't know. My problem is that I glanced at my dad's download list on his laptop when I went into his office to ask him something, and it was full of porn. I was surprised it was so much, but I didn't say anything. I have seen his download list several times since, and it as been new (and disgusting, judging from the titles) porn. Then last week when we were sitting watching tv, I glanced at the ipad in my dad's hands. He was just browsing through vintage pictures of topless women. This happened again tonight. I was shocked, because I knew if he knew I could see his screen he wouldn't do it. I'm worried he's becoming desensitized to naked women. I don't want that to effect his relationship with my mom.
I know he thinks my mom is beautiful, even after being together 25 tears. I feel like this may be partially my fault because I don't think I'm out of the house long enough at a time for them to do anything. My mom has said I don't need to worry about them, that they are happy and doing just fine. I don't want to alienate my dad by shaming him. I don't want to fuck up my parents' relationship. He is a great dad, and loves his family dearly. | My dad has gotten sloppy about hiding his massive porn viewing, and I'm worried about the effect his possible addiction may have on his relationships with his family. I'm having a panic attack. |
t3_34clfd | relationships | [17 M] and my Girlfriend [17 F] of 2 years, what should I do here? | I have been with this girl for 2 years now. We met at our job and have been incredibly happy. I didn't know how to explain this in the title so please bare with me.
I am very much so in love with her, maybe even a bit too much... However there is a huge problem we're having in terms of colleges. I have been homeschooled since Middle School and I graduated with a GED a few months ago and I have had plans to go to the little community college up the road from my house. Her plans are very shaky... She says she wants to attend it with me however she is still in high school and has an above average GPA so universities are wanting her, mostly out of state. We checked into the Community College I'm planning to go to and there was nothing she found interesting in terms of majors that the universities can provide for her. I would hate to hold her back from such a grand opportunity in her life but the thought of even seeing her move states away really really bothers me. I don't want to be without her for months and I don't like the idea of long distance so if she were to go I would likely have to break up with her. So what would you guys do? | I'm going to a community college, girlfriend getting applications to universities and I don't want to hold her back or be without her. |
t3_3dgm21 | Advice | Osap not enough for school | So I'm in my third year of college (my last year), and osap is not giving me enough to pay for school. I'm 20 years old, and went to school right out of highschool, so I didn't have much saved. I took a student line of credit to help me pay, and it has for the last 2 years, but it only has about $800 left on it. I don't get any help from my parents nor do I even live with them. I haven't been able to find a job all summer, and haven't been able to get any bursaries. Even If I budget myself more I won't have enough to pay for rent+tuition. | Canadian student doesn't have enough money to pay to finish last year in school in september, Not able to find job, no parental help, osap not enough. |
t3_2hbj09 | relationships | Me [19 F] with my ex-bf [21 M] 2 months post-breakup.... | Hi all. The original thread was here if anyone wants to read it for context :
I wish I could say I'm in a better place 2 months after break-up but I don't think I could say that...I'm back in uni although classes haven't started yet and was greeted with the 'welcoming' news that my other closest friend in my class (after my ex) is dropping out and it's so upsetting because now I won't see her nearly as often anymore and she's so hard to contact too...I have another close friend who's now constantly too busy to make time to hang out with me and my remaining two good friends I'm not that close with.
I've never felt so lonely here before and as that friend who's leaving was also good friends with my ex (we used to hang out with her together) I really wish I could talk to him now. I've never felt the temptation to break no contact this strongly before. I feel like I have no one else to turn to here because my best friends are back home so far away and I feel as if everyone I've become close to in uni is slowly disappearing.
I'm in a bad place and I'm honestly at a loss of what to do guys. I've never felt so much like I need my ex before right now but I do, but I don't think he'll talk to me even if I approach him so I don't know what to do ): | Friends in uni slowly disappearing, feel very lonely and in need of my ex but I know I probably shouldn't call him |
t3_39hsmo | relationships | Reddit, what to do when your SO deliberately will not talk to you? | My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) are both university students and have been together for 3 months. Before and during the first 2 months we started dating we kept in very close contact and spent a lot of time together. When classes ended, I went back to my hometown (it's just for the summer). We Skyped three times in the first two weeks, then after that, he stopped texting or calling.
I texted him one time each week following the sudden "cold shoulder" just to ask what he's been up to, and he tells me he's just been reading at home. (He's an introvert.) I can see that his Skype is always online from 1pm past midnight, and I'll ask when he might be free to Skype, but he brushed me off each time with a vague "I might have to help someone later today" and never suggested a better time. The last time this happened, I mentioned that I wish we could talk more often.
His response was to agree, tell me that he misses talking to me, but only sometimes because he has to make sure I miss him more.
To me, this seems really immature and like he's trying to play those strategic waiting games with me. I'm his first girlfriend and I know from my past experience that withholding communication does not make a fun or healthy relationship.
I tried to talk to him about this and got short responses. When I mentioned that it doesn't feel like we're in a relationship when we go weeks without sharing a single word, he simply said it sucked not seeing me in person and said nothing more. However, I don't like criticizing him because he normally tries really hard, his self-esteem is on the lower side, and this is his first time. I really like him and I hate not talking to him; I just have never felt so alone in a relationship before.
He's not like any other guy I've dated before. I have no idea how to handle the quiet and inexperienced type, and for some reason his feelings seem that much more delicate. Any advice is highly appreciated. | … boyfriend of 3 months admits to withholding communication with me to ensure I miss him in a temporary distance relationship, but I really just want to talk to him. |
t3_1trnr2 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my coworker [19 F] cool for 2 weeks then bam, she stops talking to me | So a few weeks back my coworker asked someone for my number and she started texting me. We hung out a few times and things were going great, we made out and she would grind my dick. She said she wasnt ready for sex yet.
Last week thursday we had plans to see anchorman2 but she bailed because they asked her to work early the next day, no biggie. Then she asked me to hang out on friday. Right at the end of the day she bailed again because she was tired, little biggie but ill survive.
Before she left I asked her if she wanted to come over saturday to hang out, she said sure and that she would text me. When I got home I knew she wouldnt text me so I fired one off saying I could pick her up at 4. Never got a response. Big biggie.
So as a guy with horrible social skills my brain immedietly tells me she hates me and the best thing I could do is to ignore her completely at work. So on monday and tuesday I did just that. She seemed to get very upset and was asking people if I was mad at her. I felt bad so after work tuesday I fired off a text telling her how I felt like garbage that she kept blowing me off. No response. Extra big biggie.
Now im sitting her dreading going into work tomorrow and if anyone has any advice as to what I could message her tonight with so I can get a grasp of the tone of our relationship, that would be much appreciated. I really like this girl a lot | girl ignores me then I get mad and ignore her then she gets mad. I explain why I ignored her and now she is ignoring me again |
t3_207k13 | relationships | My GF (22F) is extremely sensitive about anything related to my (22M) ex, and to a lesser extent any other woman. Partially because I was a huge asshole to her at the beginning of our relationship. | I used to be a serious womanizer, and was when I started dating my GF. And I was an unbelievable asshole to her when we started dating. I refused to be exclusive with her until several months into the relationship. I also had a very intense relationship with an ex that I told my GF about, as an extremely cruel shit test to see how much she would put up with. This was doubly unfair because I had been through several serious relationships and hooked up with a good number of women before, while I'm her first relationship/sexual partner.
Things have changed immensely since then and we've had a whirlwind and deeply intimate relationship for the last 10 months, and I'm seriously thinking about marrying her. This is a very important question because since I'm a US citizen, she would get work authorization and her career prospects would skyrocket. This means she would be able to stay in the US, and pursue the career of her dreams instead of working at a huge firm just because they would sponsor her visa.
However, the main thing I'm concerned about is that almost all our fights are about other women, and she gets very very emotional when we talk about my ex, even if she's only mentioned in passing. For example she got mad at me for getting a snapchat from a girl she doesn't even know, and gets mad if I leave her for a bit to talk to my other female friends at parties. And she's grilled me several times over my ex, even though I give the same answers each time. Each time has ended with her sobbing into me, but she just can't seem to stop herself.
I've asked her directly several times if she trusts me, or if she thinks I'll cheat on her, and I don't feel she's ever given me an honest answer. I totally understand that she has trust issues, and I would too if I had to deal with the asshole I was. My question is, what can I do to build her trust in me? And how can we deal with the reprecussions of my abusive behavior? | I treated my GF horribly at the beginning of our relationship, and now she has trust issues. What should I do? |
t3_4pyo11 | relationships | Is it over between me(19F) and my bf(24M) | Sorry, I know you guys probably get posts about this all the time here. Throwaway because I don't want personal stuff tied to my main account.
Basically after dating for 9 months, we hit a rough patch. Until now our relationship was almost perfect. We had a fight last weekend, made up for the week, but this morning I woke up to a text from him saying he needed time to think about us. I drove to his house this morning, and he came out and held me, kissed me, said he loved me, but he needed to be alone to think.
If the fight's relevant, basically he says he doesn't really understand my "internet life" and says he feels like he can't relate to it. Basically I have a lot of internet friends and spend a lot of time online because I don't have a lot of real life friends. I told him I'm willing to compromise in spending less time on the internet (I don't use it when I'm with him but I am on a lot) and cutting out some unneccessary people that just cause drama (first thing I did when I got home.)
But I'm confused when he says he needs time. One of my friends says it sounds like he's just trying to let me down easy, but the majority say to just leave him be, they've had similar fights with their SOs where they've gotten back together, etc. | BF and I hit a rough patch, does it sound like it's really over or do I still have a chance? |
t3_2zhpgb | relationships | I [21/M] know my 'father' [40's/m] is not my biological dad. He doesn't know I know. | When I was 16, my brother (one year older, so 17 at the time) received a friend request, on Facebook, from a lady claiming to be our aunt. We thought she was crazy, but she had a picture of us as children and the scar on my brother's forehead was pretty clear - it was definitely us.
My last name has never matched my parents, who raised me, but as kids I always believed their story that my last name was my mother's maiden name because my brother and I were born before our parents were married. However, we found our birth certificates and the man listed as our father had our last name, not my raised parent's last name, and his name matched the name given by our supposed aunt.
Further research online showed the man on our birth certificates went to high school with my mother.
For the last five years, my brother and I have entirely avoided the conversation. We both have had our birth certificates since we moved out (I left home at 17), so I assume my parents may know that we know, but we have never talked about it at all.
I love my father and have a greater appreciation for him than ever, since he raised us without really ever having to - it was never his responsibility.
Should I ever bring it up, and if so, how should I go about it? | I have known the man who raised me is not my biological father for 5 years, but the parents who raised me have never discussed it with me and I do not think they know that I know. What should I do? |
t3_k9cqc | AskReddit | Tell me about your weirdest/most unexpected place you met someone you know. (I'll start with a good one, 5500miles away from home) | So, it's summer 2000. 14yo (dutch) me and my first visit to the US. My first long flight. 10 and a half hours from Amsterdam to Los Angeles with my parents and my GameBoy.
So, after landing at LAX, my dad drove our rental car to our hotel in central LA, and we took our place in line at the hotel reception. In front of us was a family of 5. I remembered thinking that the guy in front of me (judging from the back of his head and posture) kinda looked like my colleague from my Saturday job at my local supermarket. I obviously didn't think much of this (considering I'm red this and continued playing on my GB Advanced.
And then our turn comes up, the family in front of us turned around. And three people are in shock and awe. In front of me I see my saturday work-buddy! As we look at each other with a clear WTF expression on our face, as I hear one of the other 'kids' say, "...Mark?". WTF? This guy from high school which I share a few classes with is here too! With my colleague's family. I couldn't believe it. Apparently these two where best buds without me knowing. Truth be told, I never really talked much with this other guy in the first place, but still, we shared classes. So that's how i ran into 2 seemingly unrelated guys, over 5500 miles from home, at 1 of the thousands(?) of hotels in LA. What. The. Fuck. | Ran in to 2 seemingly unrelated 'friends'* of mine in a LA hotel 5500 miles away from home. Uhmmm.... Hi! |
t3_esym1 | AskReddit | Any "seasoned" hippies out there? I'm trying to find the name of this sweet compilation album from during the Vietnam war. I think it could be Freedom Rock. | I was at my uncles house on Christmas Day, just drinking like hell in his basement bar with my family. Eventually we busted out the record player and I was flipping through his vinyl. The one he stopped on is the one I'm trying to remember the name of. He said he has always wanted this album on a CD to take in his Harley Davidson on long rides. I'm trying to buy this and put it on a cd for him. I thought it was just called "Freedom" but can't find much on Google. I distinctively remember Otis Redding and Joan Baez had songs on there. Possibly Cream and Jefferson Airplane.
Could be [Freedom Rock](
But the problems is I distinctively recall the album artwork to have featured a drawn image of a girl with flowing blonde locks. | Trying to find the name of this album compilation to give to my uncle so he can ride to Sturgis in style. Maybe Freedom Rock if only they released a version with a groovy blonde on the cover. |
t3_42nx98 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my friend/lover[17 F] I want to apologize with a video. | Hi fellow Redditers,
You've probably all tried making mistakes and ending up hurting others because of it. However I'm not sure if you've all tried doing this multiple times.
I've done a mistake which has hurt my friendship/love with a girl, very dear to me. She has said things like "You make to many mistakes" and "You say sorry all the time".
I'm doing everything that I can to make things better, but it doesn't seem like it's helping a lot right now. I don't think I'm showing that I DO care and that I DO want to prevent future mistakes.
I'm thinking of putting a video together for her, to somehow show her that I really really, Am sorry.
It'll include 30 clips of me saying sorry for 30 days straight from different places. But also 30 clips each with a reason why I thank her for being part of my life and for making me happy.
Will this work? Is there anything I should add apart from a small introduction? If yes, let me know what you think should be added.
Do you have other suggestions as to what a guy who's hurt a girl and want to do literally anything to make it better, can do? | Ive hurt my friend who I also happen to love (And I know she loves me to) I need advice for a video where i apologize. |
t3_4hkz5a | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend (now fiancée) [27 F] 3 years, she gave me DNA test results. [UPDATE] | [Original post](
So, let me clear something up right away.
>where did she get your DNA from huh huh HUH!
She, got it from me when I was asleep I'm a heavy sleeper so that's how she did it.
>she could have slept with someone else and got pregnant and used THE REAL FATHERS DNA!!!
That would've been hard for her to sleep with someone else because during the time our daughter was conceived we were staying in a hotel.
**On with the update**
So, after reading the comments (which were just telling me how much of a keeper she is) I didn't open it. I went to look for her and just gave it back which surprised her.
She asked me why didn't I open it and I told her I trust her (because I do) and I didn't need a silly DNA test. We hugged and kissed and she just threw it in the kitchen drawer and that's where it shall remain.
After I made her favorite dinner (Parmesan chicken with a salad and garlic bread) and sorta had a date. Honestly, she's treated me better than any girlfriend ever did and I'm glad I met her when I did.
After we talked and I don't know what she was doing but it made me realize I really need to marry her.
So I looked through the drawers and found a plastic ring (don't know where it came from just know that's why me and her call it the shit drawer)and went back to her.
And I proposed I thought for sure she'd get pissed that it wasn't a real ring but she didn't. She cried and said yes and actually put it on Lol but I do plan on getting her a real nice one.
So, I'm engaged now don't know if it still counts considering I didn't have a real ring.
_____________________________________________________________________________ | I decided not to open the results because I know the answer in my heart. I gave it back and after a nice dinner proposed with a plastic ring. |
t3_4k0ydh | relationships | I [16 M] am scared about my girlfriend's [15F] mental health, and if I should break up with her. | I have been with this girl for almost 6 months now and I knew pretty much from the get go that she had a mental issue, I was just not aware of how big this was. Almost 3 months in and I am already pushing her to go in for therapy, and she says the same thing over and over, that her parents wont believe her, that they didn't believe her cuts were genuine. So I somewhat believe her but still try to get her to see someone. I take her to the social worker where she gets a little help for her depression and anxiety but all parties agreed a therapist could do a better job. Then the social worker calls her parents to get her to see a therapist, and, surprisingly, they actually aren't pissed and are more than happy to have her find help. This is 1 month ago....
Me and her just got into a deep talk about each others mental health as we both aren't really shining examples of good mental health. I have known the cause of her depression for a while, how in trying to get two friends together, she unknowingly made them even more depressed, and one ended up killing herself (I do know this is true, as I remember the story).
She then, though, throws me a curve ball and says that she somewhat enjoyed the power she had over people. She didn't really want to go to therapy to fix her major mental issues, only her depression. She told me how she would mentally break me, and to be honest her plan would work flawlessly, and gave me multiple other examples. She then fucking admitted that she caused another person to kill themselves, this time maliciously. I am actually scared of her now, but I am afraid that if I break up with her she will either come after me or kill herself. I don't know what to do. | My girlfriend is experiencing psychopathic(?) tendencies and am afraid that if I break up with her she will either come after me or kill herself. |
t3_1jiu4v | offmychest | I post multiple times daily looking for validation on my looks and I have this overwhelming need to be told I'm not ugly and that I don't look like women with my disorder normally do. My husband who I adore does not know I do this. | Okay so here goes.. I have this intense need for validation,I have a disorder and it makes me feel worthless and ugly. I'll never be "normal" and it pains me,I post photos constantly ,like 5-6 times a day asking variations of "am I ugly" " can you tell I have x disorder" Also I am mildly bulimic..fun times.
I hide that from him also. I have an amazing husband and I love him so much . I don't know how to bring this all up to him,I'm sure he sorta knows,he's on reddit a lot also. What do I do? How bad is my behaviour? Am I am awful wife? | I post photos daily asking for validation because of my disorder my husband does not know this,know that I'm bulimic. |
t3_2uhc1o | relationships | What do I [M21] do to stop treating all girls as friends by default? | So my entire life, I have never had a problem talking to girls. I've never REALLY had an issue with talking to girls or being confident or introducing myself. I've also never thought of myself as attractive to girls until recently. Now, when I walk around campus, I catch girls looking at me or smiling at me all the time. Everyone might think no issue here but they would be wrong.
I have no idea how to talk to girls in a way that shows that I want to be more than friends. This has lead to many girls being absolutely shocked when I ask them out. I think only one girl out of ten saw it coming. So, my question is, how do I talk to girls to show that I want to be more than friends or just want to hook up?
At what point does it become absolutely creepy? | I only know how to treat girls as friends and it's biting me in the ass. How can I talk to them in a way that shows a further interest? |
t3_3gv3y4 | relationships | My [F21] husband [M23] broke my laptop and now wants to build me a desktop? | So, my husband has some anger issues. One day he was angry and when I came back from work he'd broken several of my personal belongings (my clip-in hair extensions and my laptop being the most expensive ones).
He apologized and offered to replace the items. It turned out that he hated my clip-in extensions so I was fine with not getting new ones. However, by 'replacing my laptop' he meant that he was going to build a desktop since it's cheaper and he think it's more practical/durable. I would still be allowed to use his laptop whenever I want (I have always used his laptop more than mine cause it's faster).
I'm pretty upset about losing my laptop cause some of my writing is on there and my Terraria character and all its items are basically gone forever. I know it's stupid but it took me a long time to build up the character and get my hands on some rare items.
I don't want a desktop at all, I want my laptop so that I can take it places and so that it's actually 'mine' and not 'ours' like most of the stuff we have.also my dad is upset with me cause he gave me the laptop and now it's broken.
However, my husband is the only one who earns money (I quit my job a few days after this incident) and has always been the main earner, so I don't think I should be making demands. My husband is generous with his money and usually not stingy. Still, I think it's not okay to break something and then not replace it.
Should I tell my husband what my reasons are for preferring a laptop and ask him to consider buying me a new one or should I just let it go? | Husband broke my laptop, now he wants to get me/us a desktop instead of buying me a new one. He makes all the money. Should I be okay with this/am I spoiled? |
t3_t73fw | AskReddit | What is the dumbest/ most embarrassing thing you have done on a computer? | When I was about 12, I went to a porn website that had well known cartoons as well as some hentai. It was limited and you had to register (piece of cake....birth year 1850) in order to watch the good stuff. So, being the genius that I was, I entered in the required info.....**including my actual home phone number**. About a week of happy viewing had passed and the company running the site called, my mom answered, and was told that she owed over two-hundred dollars. She pretended to be an elderly woman living by herself, with no kids (I bet she was wishing it was true). I was at school when she received the call, [but when I got home...]( | Used my home phone, to register, for cartoon porn I had no intentions of paying for. Mom found out and beat me. |
t3_4dydc2 | relationships | Shoud I ( 18/m) follow her (19/F) on Instagram, and hope for the best? | My situation is really simple. I saw a student theatre play last week, and spotted a girl. After that, I decided to check her facebook profile, just to stalk her for fun.
Not only she's cute, but I'm getting really interested in her: she's cool, seems really smart, and we share a couple of things in common( music, humor,etc) . And I think I would have my chance, since she's just as popular as me ( 200 facebook friends and about 30 likes on her facebook profile picture) .
So my plan is to follow her on Instagram ( yes i found it, I'm creepy I know) . I guess if she finds me cute, she would also follow me. Then, I send a message, something like "Uh... no idea how I followed you, but you're cute, hi " , and hope for the best.
Is that a good idea? Knowing that I will never see her again in my life, so there's nothing to lose right? | I want to date a girl from Instagram/Is that a good idea, knowing I will never see her in my life? |
t3_ivxnu | AskReddit | Need some assistance on laptop choice | Hey guys,
This will be my first AskReddit, so I hope it will be successful. I have been browsing around and shopping for laptops for quite awhile since my older ASUS laptop (4 years) is currently dying. I do know that Apple has came out with their newer ~~2011 MacBook Air~~, and it seems to have some pretty good specifications. I just need some advice on which laptop I should get.
**Some things that need to get across first: **
1. It should be portable
2. No gaming since I have a powerhouse Desktop
3. I'm a computer scientist, so any computer works fine.
**What I was thinking of getting:**
~~1. MacBook Air~~
2. Lenovo Think Pad
3. ASUS
**Price Range:**
$1000-$2000
**What people have recommended:**
Toshiba Satellite
ASUS
Lenovo
~~Mac | Older laptop dying. Need new one: Portable, no gaming, and computer science major. Recommendations: ~~MacBook Air~~, Lenovo, ASUS |
t3_1hmb3b | relationships | I [21M] and this girl [19F] want to start seeing each other, but my friend [20M] still has a crush on her. | A few days ago I [21M] started "talking to" a girl I've know for about a month [19F]. I met her when a good friend [20M] began hanging out with her. It was obvious he was into her and they went on a few dates and spent a lot of time together. She was sending some mixed signals, I think he might have played things wrong, etc, but the long story short is things didn't work out between them. Nothing nasty, they're still friends, simply nothing developed. However, he confided in me throughout this and I tried to give him advice as best I could, and I know he still likes her.
A few days ago she and I were watching TV and she told me that she was interested in me. I had honestly begun to develop a bit of a crush on her while my friend was trying to court her, but obviously didn't act on it out of deference. For the past three nights we have been hanging out in my room, but my friend lives in the room next door (think dorm rooms) so we have tried to be very secretive. We've not been hooking up or anything, mostly just watching TV and talking. However, the mutual attraction is there, and we both want to move things forward with, you know, actual dates. However, I know my friend will be very upset and feel betrayed if we were to start publicly dating. Continuing the secret thing is not an option for either of us (the girl or myself).
It's not like I'm trying to steal his girlfriend or anything, she made it clear to him 1-2 weeks ago that nothing was going to happen between them. At the same time, I know I would feel betrayed if I were in his position, so I almost can't blame him for it. Is there any good way to handle this? Do I have to choose the friendship or the potential relationship? Is the loss of of one inevitable? | Girl and I want to try to start something. Friend who lives next door has struck out with said girl but still has a crush. Would like to understand my options and best course of action. |
t3_4j8vd8 | relationships | Me [28/F] is super shy esp when it comes to dating- what do I do? | I am 28 and just broke up with my BF- we were dating since I was 19! While I am dealing with this just fine, I am trying to date and see other people. I am so shy though and dont know where to even begin!
For instance, theres a guy whom I see at work- we have a mutual attraction and always quickly glance at each other. After months of doing this- we cross paths- hes quickly going north and im going south and I shyly smile and look down and he says "hey how are you?!" then I pass by and say "hi good!" and scutter away!
When he crossed my path before, he never said Hi and I avoided eye contact and put my hair behind my ear (i do this when im nervous sometimes)
I am so shy! I dont know how to get over it! I dont want to be alone- but I am afraid my shyness may hold me back.
and also do guys pick up on shyness and do they like shy girls? I am not shy when you get to know me- but around people I like or I am crushing on- I get super red and shy! I dont want him to miscontrue me being shy for being "above him or conceited" to talk to him- can guys tell when a girl is shy? what do guys do about shy girls? | What can I do to overcome shyness and do guys find shy girls attractive or do they work harder to get to them? |
t3_vkiji | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the nicest thing a stranger has said/done to you or made you feel? | Last night, I was really bored and at the same time depressed. So, I started chatting on omegle. Ya'll know what omegle is like, right? (dicks and stuff) It's quite rare to see faces in omegle. I came across this guy. He looks like JB. (justin fucking beiber) With his hair and all. He's also a redditor, so we chatted for 2 long hours. He was really smart and charming and he kept saying how age doesn't matter. Then he suddenly said "hey, your boyfriend is so lucky. You're smart, beautiful, asian, crazy and everything that a guy would want, what I would want." I was like awwww (oh stop it you). From a 15 year old kid, It feels so genuine or I don't know, maybe I was just really depressed and I would believe any nice thing anyone tells me. But he made me feel better, he gave me some sort of security that I may not be enough for the guy that I gave my heart to, there's someone out there that thinks that I am. Hey stranger, If you can read this; THANK YOU! When you're 18, come to europe, bring a panda and I'll marry the shit out of you.
He's from miami btw. | A 15 year-old boy made me feel that I may not be enough for my boyfriend, someone out there sees me as if the sun rises and sets in my eyes. |
t3_33sl3r | relationships | My father [52M] yells at me [18M] when I attempt to learn how to drive a car. It makes me nervous and I do worse when he yells. How can I appease him? | Son = Me\OP
Classic parent teaching son how to drive. Father yells impatiently at son even though its the sons first time driving ever. Son desperately wants to get better but would rather pay a lot of money than to deal with him at all. Father does not realize that he has over twenty years of driving under his belt. Son only has two days and again, can improve, but is afraid of being yelled at for making a mistake.
All right. Enough of third person speaking. My dad is an asshole and him teaching me how to drive is making him a worse one. For some unknown reason, he cannot comprehend that yelling at someone while doing something will make them perform worse.
The first day started out bad but ended on the concept that I needed more practice. First day was done in the back of my high school parking lot. All we did was reverse park and turns. Second day was, ironically, a few minutes ago in my apartment complex parking. The twist? Drive home and park the freaking car -.-...
That goes wrong as I'm doing it for the first time and although I envision it, I need way more practice. What can I do? | Dad yells when teaching me how to drive and I don't learn anything. I would rather pay than face this almost everyday. Advice, please? |
t3_2bg3dg | legaladvice | Questionable Conversation with Minor On OK Cupid | Hi /r/legaladvice
I live in the state of Texas, and recently I decided to create an OK Cupid account. Yesterday, I began messaging a girl who's profile said she was 18, the same age as I.
We talked for a short time on the OK Cupid app and after a few messages of introductory back and forth, we moved to the Kik app, at her request. I learned she was still a high schooler, and asked if was a "little mature" for her because I'm into my 2nd year of college. She told me that she had dated guys up to 23, and that I wasn't too mature for her. My profile on OK Cupid says that I am looking for short term dating/casual sex, so I went ahead and pursued my objective from here. I proceeded to have these important conversation pieces:
Me: "You're really fun to talk to :)".
Girl: Something along the lines of "thanks, i'm unique haha"
Me: "Let me cut to the chase, I'm looking for fun here if you catch my drift ;)"
Her: "I don't think you want to fuck me because of my age"
Me: "You're not 18? Nevermind then"
Her: "Alright"
I then blocked her on both apps.
I do not think I did anything wrong in this sense. I believe the laws in the state of Texas say that 17 is consent. I don't know this girls exact age but if I remember correctly before she blocked me, she was a junior or senior in HS, so at minimum she is 16, and I am 18. Even if I had met up with this girl, I would ask to see her Photo ID to confirm her age.
**Possibly important detail** -- Before I even had asked if she was "looking for fun", I had messaged a friend of mine via FB, talking about this match I was chatting with. I told my friend that I thought this girl was weird and specifically mentioned that I didn't have any real interest in her, and did not intend to meet up with her in actuality and that "I couldn't handle it", it meaning the possibility of meeting up IRL. | I had a suspect conversation with a minor who claimed to be 18 on OK Cupid, and am curious if what I did was in the wrong, and if I could get in any type of real legal trouble. |
t3_49j1cy | relationships | Roommate [20 F] broke my [21 F] clock accidentally. Not sure what to do. | This morning, my roommate accidentally knocked my atomic clock off of our wall and it hit the ground hard. The glass broke (there was already a crack in it though), and even after we found the battery and put it back in, it stopped working.
I'm not really all that upset. She did apologize, but she didn't offer to replace it or anything... should I ask her to? I've had this clock for a very, very long time, and not having an analog clock on my wall to refer to will be a bit unnerving.
Reasons why maybe she shouldn't have to replace it?
* It was knocked down by accident (I know for sure, I saw it happen)
* It already had a long crack in the glass
* It was hung somewhat precariously
* It doesn't have much sentimental value
Reasons why she should, I guess?
* It was my clock which we both (I think, I know I did for sure) frequently used to check the time
* I can't afford to buy myself a new clock right now | I feel somewhat ambivalent but I'd really like to have a working clock. Would it be shitty/selfish of me to ask her to replace it? |
t3_12n8w1 | relationships | Are stupid friends worth your energy? In the case of two (26M). | If junk food is bad for you, are stupid friends too?
I used to have a best friend who was the type to dig himself into holes and blame others. Financially, it would always be the "*corporations*" or "*governments*" fault. He also accidentally had a child, and was dumped by his girlfriend because she got fed up with his immaturity (raising one kid would be difficult enough for her). The best way to illustrate this person is simply as a man-child. He's under-prepared for the real world. However, this doesn't make him a terrible person, just a naive one, and his childlike characteristics can be endearing.
Additionally his level of ADHD was infuriating. Seeking intellectual stimuli from him was a fools pursuit. However, when it came to mutual interests that didn't require much thought or disciplined focus, e.g., gaming, and fitness, he was pleasant and amusing company.
A mutual friend of ours finally got fed up with his recurrent Facebook rants against the "corporations" and publically called him out on his skewed world view. I found myself in the middle, when asked "what the hell was the mutual friends problem?" I admitted to being 100% in agreement with what had been said, that marked the end of our friendship.
It's been a year since then, and I've found myself kind of missing his company. It could just be that I haven't really gone out and met enough new people to fill the void, or maybe It's because someone like him actually plays a vital role in balancing ones life, e.g., Joey from Friends, or Barney from HIMYM.
Should I attempt to reconnect? | Idiot friend, can only stand him in small doses, cut-off ties after calling him out on his bullshit, miss him a year later, worth my time? |
t3_3ai4g9 | relationships | I [22 M] have a date with a potential FWB [31 F] but I have never been with a woman before let alone on a date | I matched with this girl about 2 weeks ago on Tinder. We had a good conversation for a few days and then I told her why I was on Tinder- I was looking a a friends with benefits kind of situation. I asked her if she wanted to come over to my place to watch a movie and she said she would. Then the day before she was supposed to come, she said that she wasn't looking for a fwb and only slept with guys she got to know.
At this point I got annoyed and told her what I had on my mind because I thought I was never going to see her again. I told her that I was really annoyed at life because I was a virgin and just wanted to get laid. I told her that having sex for an average guy is really hard and it made me kind of bitter. I also told her that I was hoping that she could help me get rid of my V plates. She then said that I should probably ask girls out for coffee instead of asking them directly if they wanted to be a fwb and that way I'd get laid more easily. She also said again that she only slept with guys she got to know. Then I asked her if she wanted to go out for a coffee. To my surprise, she said yes. I told her that I didn't want to mislead her and that I wasn't looking for a long term relationship, to which she replied that she knew what I was looking for. I told her that I was extremely shy and awkward and she didn't believe me.
Anyway, I have a date with her in about 12 hours. My first ever date. I've never ever been with a woman before. I've never flirted with anyone or been flirted with. I'm absolutely clueless. How do I not mess this up? What do I wear? I'm terribly shy and have social anxiety but I want to go through with this. Any tips or pointers? | I have my first date ever with a woman who wants to get to know me. I've never been a on a date before. How do I not mess this up? |
t3_2cc749 | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 3 months, not over her ex? | Using throwaway because GF knows my username.
I have been dating that girl I love for 3 months and everything is/was great.
When we started dating, girlfriend told me about that guy who broke her heart last year. He cheated and left her. She said she thought she loved him but she now knows it wasn't love.
So everything has been good but last week I looked at her social media and noticed she was talking about her ex. She was being pretty mean, like ex girlfriends can be. It's okay I think... But after reading her updates it was clear that she was still checking his online profiles. I looked a little more and noticed she had been talking about or alluding to that ex boyfriend a lot in the last month or so. She is always very mean when she posts an update about him. She calls him names and posts cryptic comments about his updates and says he's a loser.
We're pretty serious and met each other's families, but she's been posting about him more than she's been posting about me.
That made me feel a little bad. She dated other guys after him (including one who also broke her heart) but she doesn't seem to talk about the others. She's just mad about that ex boyfriend.
Also looked up the guy's profile and he seems happy, now in a relationship.
I don't know what to think. I haven't told anyone yet but this whole thing makes me feel bad. | my girlfriend has been posting updates about her ex and checking his online profiles and it's been increasing lately since our relationship got more serious (met families etc) |
t3_3dw5uo | relationships | My SO [20M] says he is bored with our relationship and feels like we are roommates more than romantic partners. [21F] | My SO and I just had a long talk tonight and he's mentioned before that he gets bored in long term relationships. He and I have been together for over a year and he says that we don't have any spice in our relationship and that it feels like he's living with a roommate.
He says he wants to work on it but I don't even know what to do. I'm pretty heartbroken. I do things like dress up for him, I don't walk around in sweats excessively, I try to engage him in sex and other intimate stuff pretty regularly. I let him play video games when he wants though, and we ARE pretty comfortable but I mean isn't this just what a long term relationship looks like? How can I explain that relationships can't be fireworks all the time to him? Isn't that normal? | How do I spice up a relationship that is ONE year old? My SO says he feels like we're roommates more than dating. |
t3_1t1gcj | needadvice | Help with Crazy Brother (20yo) | Hi all, thanks for reading. I'll put my post in bullet points for easier reading:
- Brother smokes a TON of weed + possibly other things
- college dropout, lives with parents, parents drive him nuts
- I think he's pretty sane but has these "delusions" that their house will get attacked by criminals
- has weapons in the house, including a gun!!!! WTF!!
- carries gun on him sometimes
- possibly suffers from depression because he admitted to me once that he wanted to die
- parents desperately want him to stop smoking but he doesn't see why he should stop.
- parents not really doing anything to help him!!! All they do is bitch at him
I'm really worried, what can I do about this? I told my mom to send my brother to counseling, but she's hesitant because of stigmas of going to counseling (rolls eyes). I still think it's a bad idea to have all these damn weapons in the house. Sometimes the parents piss him off and I'm worried he will wield weapons at my parents or hurt himself!! Please help :( | Pothead brother has a gun in the house for "security purposes" (delusional) and I don't know how to seek help for him. |
t3_451fe2 | askwomenadvice | Wedding Dress Drama | Hello, I have been a Redditor for a while now but don't often post. I'm in a current situation that I need advice and figured I'd reach out to you ladies.
My wedding is in October and I just found my dream dress on eBay. I didn't even bid, just bought at their asking price, won the sale, and was floating on cloud nine for a week. After receiving no response from the seller I reached out. Nothing. I sent two more emails over the next three days, still with no response. I then reached out to eBay who was extremely unhelpful and pretty much told me I had to submit a claim, wait another 4-7 days, and if still no response, they will take action (with no guarantee on the dress).
This dress was discontinued over 3 years ago and is pretty much impossible to find; especially in my size. Has anyone else had this happen to them or can you provide some advice on what to do? I'm devastated right now thinking I might not be wearing my dream dress on my wedding day. Any suggestions, help or support is immensely appreciated. Thanks! | ! - Bought wedding dress online, seller won't send to me or respond to emails. Online store is unhelpful. I'm devastated. |
t3_4na703 | askwomenadvice | How to get a shy, timid girl "in the mood"? | So, i have been seeing this girl for two months or so, we are both in Uni, studying game design. She is 20 and i am 21,
we see each other often enough, though it tends to be a few hours every few evenings. She is still a virgin (which i know complicates the matter) we kiss, and touch a bit, but it mostly tends to be on my part, and i feel like i am not getting to her the way i want to. we have discussed this, and she says that she just isn't that much of a lusty person despite her liking me more than anyone she has been with so far.
which i can understand, but which i cant quite empathize with. i am definitely a physical person. and i don't expect everyone to Be as i am, but it is fucking with me that i cant seem to get her into "The mood" because i always think something is wrong with Me. (despite her telling me otherwise)
note that we haven't done "nothing", i have gone down on her a bit back etc,
but there seems to be no Sex.drive on her part. i don't know, what do you think,
also notable, we are both under stress right now because of exams. | I have been seeing a girl who is kind of shy and introverted, and she feels little to no "lust", is there anything i can do, in a general sense? Or just "get in the mood" advice. |
t3_3ai02c | Advice | Advice needed: Close friend of mine did something that caused me to lose their trust | EDIT: I CAN'T ADD A FLAIR ON MY DEVICE RIGHT NOW FOR SOME REASON
Hello people, I've recently had an issue come up in my life and I'm very conflicted as to what I should do. A few days ago, I was talking with a very good friend of mine (who I shall refer to as person A for the remainder of this post) online and I told him something that I told him not to tell. About an hour later I had another friend of mine text me about that thing I told Person A not to tell (and I specifically told him not to tell this friend). So I got mad and went to Person A and they confessed because they thought it would be best to tell the other friend and they apologized and promised to not do that again (by the way, the thing I didn't want told to the other friend wasn't really that bad, I was getting very annoyed because my neighbors were being loud late at night but I had mentioned to Person A that I had texted that friend earlier and that friend hadn't responded yet and I've been known to be impatient). I accepted Person A's apology but I'm still upset that they did that. Person A is family to me and it really upset me that they did that.
Right now, I have two opinions on that to think of what Person A did and I don't know what to think:
1) What they did was unacceptable and I should quit telling them information like that because they could have released more private information.
2) While what they did was wrong, I should still trust them because they didn't want me to get mad at the other friend and wanted to avoid drama.
So, what should I do about this situation? | friend a told friend b something I didn't want them to tell them because friend a thought I was getting mad at the friend b and I don't know if I should trust friend a anymore. |
t3_4u6uun | relationship_advice | Should I (F,25) continues to date (M,30) while being poor in both money and time? | I am in Grad school and I am trying to go through this without incurring debt by living frugally and working part-time. And I have managed this quite well.
Recently I started to date someone who makes much more than me, and since I dont want to take advantage of people, I split the bill every time except for first date when he insisted on paying.
I am actually tired because eating out/dating is a bit too much beyond my tight budget. I know I probably should just tell him but it is too early state to talk about money. Also I dont want him to take it wrongly that I am trying to get him to pay for me.
The budget thing together with workload from school and work has stressed me out to the point of thinking whether I should just stop dating. He is nice and attentive in other aspects except that he did know I didnt make much but still suggest dining out everytime.
Should I just stop this and wait until I have more time and money? Or should I tell him ? Would it be weird to tell someone "I m poor" when they already knew it? | I m too poor to date and dont want to be a freerider (eating in is not an option since he loves to eat out) |
t3_3csg3v | relationships | Me [21 M] jealous of my ex [22 F]. Can't get over it. | Broke up with my ex 3 months ago. At first, seemed to be going alright, we still talked and stayed good friends. I helped her with her uni work. I consider this to be my denial phase.
I visited her 2 months after we broke up and had planned to meetup with her to hang out. Instead she cancelled on me because she was sleeping with somebody else. I discovered later that day through a mixture of being told be other people and seeing the marks left. We talked, it was nice, but then it was awkward. I could tell she didn't want to talk to me. Since then, I cut her from my life completely.
I have been invited to a party in a month that she might be there for. I want to see my friends, but I don't want to see her. I have no reason to believe she will be any different. I don't want to have to feign that everything is alright. I don't want to spend that weekend staring at her from across the room, calculating what she might do nad overthinking it.
I'm extremely jealous that she's been having sex with people and I haven't.
I'm jealous of her ability to just pull somebody to bed.
I'm jealous that somebody else got to touch her gorgeous body in that way.
Physically, she was all that I wanted. I loved every part of her body. I'm afraid i'll never get that again.
I need to get over this jealousy to be able to move on. | Broke up with gf 3 months back. Jealous of her and people she sleeps with. Need to get over it to move on. |
t3_21i7ut | relationships | My boyfriend [20M] broke up with me [20F] after 3.5 years so hook up with other people but wants to get back together in the future. | My boyfriend (now ex) and I started dating our senior year of high school when we were 17. I ended up going away to college while he stayed at home. We have made it last for 3 and a half years but this weekend it finally fell apart. He is afraid that if we stay together that he will regret not having the opportunity in his life to go out and hook up with random girls but he wants to be with me in the future for marriage and whatnot. I get why he wants this, and I have thought of it before myself but I have never really been interested in that life.
He told me he still loves me more then anything and can never picture marrying anyone else except me. I don't really know what to do with that. He says we will meet up again maybe in a few months when I am back home and I graduate in less then a year. He also told me he will always love me and I can always talk to him whenever I want.
I don't know how to take it. I want to give him his space and do whatever he wants, but am I supposed to get over this? Should I keep thinking about him and just plan on getting back together in the future? I want to be with him again in the future but should I just drop that hope and get over him all together? It could be foolish because he could meet someone else and be with them and then I will look like an idiot waiting for him.
I love him more then anything so it hurts so much. We have been through so much together that I want to wait for him, I keep telling myself we will get back together but is that just a stupid thought?
If anyone has any advice on what to do or has been in a similar situation I would really appreciate anything! | Longterm boyfriend broke up with me to live his young life and hook up with random people but still wants to get back together in the future. I dont know what to do. |
t3_3jwixb | relationships | My boyfriend of 1 year (25/m) and I (21/f) hardly have sex anymore? | Hello!
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. When we first began dating, sex was amazing, 2-3 times a day in countless positions, and he always was the one initiating it. I understand that it is probably normal for two people to have more sex at the beginning of a relationship than after settling down.
Now, we are so much more comfortable with each other, I am at his house a lot, and we are best friends. Unfortunately, the amount of sex we have has gone down. Please know that his parents do live in the same house us him, so a lot of times he is uncomfortable with the idea of having sex while they're home. I try to initiate sex at night, or hint to him that we should do it, but he always brushes it off with "I'm tired," or "I have work tomorrow." I just feel like we are far too young to say those things.
When we do have sex, I am always sad when it is over because I feel like I'll never know when the next time we do it will be. Sometimes I feel like he is not completely into it and he is only trying to keep me happy. This is a 180 degree turn from just a year ago, when he was always trying to get into my pants.
I don't want to pressure my boyfriend or hurt his feelings because I truly care about him. I am worried that he has too much on his mind or is stressed out about something (we are trying to save up for our own place and he starts a second job next month). I try to be as understanding as possible, but when I bring it up he shuts down completely and acts like an abused puppy. What should I do? | BF and I don't have sex as much. I don't know how to ask without hurting his feelings, and am usually denied in my advances. |
t3_4z9qiw | relationships | My GF [24F] has been on vacation for over a week. I [25M] don't miss her like crazy and am neutral about her coming back. Is this normal to feel? | My GF and I live together and she went on a vacation with her girlfriends. I don't really miss her like I should and the thought of her coming home does not excite me... I feel very neutral. Not happy, but I'm not *not* looking forward to it either.
I'm in a state of zen without her here -- it's very quiet, I do whatever I want, and I am very relaxed.
I'm wondering if this is a bad sign (that I'm not excited to have her back home/I don't miss her much), or if it's normal for couples who live together. Our relationship definitely is missing 'the spark' but I'm wondering if this goes beyond that... thanks. | GF is on vacation and I don't really miss her/not too excited about her being home. Our relationship has been missing 'the spark' for quite some time, but is this more than a missing spark? Is this normal? |
t3_26ctoy | tifu | TIFU by not having enough subway fare. | I am a (work-study) student at the [University of Toronto](/r/UofT), and this particular FU happened past 5 pm while I was going home from work on Thursday.
I thought I had more than enough tokens to get home, but just to maake sure, before I left the building I checked my wallet, and apparently I didn't have enough. So I thought, I could just buy some at the station before I get in.
I get to the station (Queen's Park), ask the station collector for 10 tokens.
"$27."
As I take out my debit card, the guy says
"Cash only."
But I didn't have any cash. I was frustrated, so I immediately walked out the station and up to the surface, and call my mom to ask what to do. She says go withdraw some money. The ATM is in the Robarts library, which was about a 10 minute walk from where I was standing.
At the time I had [5 hard drives] and a laptop in my bag. It was pretty heavy, and my legs were hurting, so I walked more slowly. 10 minutes turned into 20.
So I go to Robarts, withdraw some money, then walk to the nearest subway station (St. George). Then I decided that instead of buying some tokens with the cash I withdrew, I should just use my [PRESTO card](
I enter the subway station at 5:41, half an hour later than I originally planned.
---
I posted about this on /r/TorontoTransit, when someone comments about me having my PRESTO card the whole time. Then I remembered, I've gone down to Queen's Park a couple times with a classmate who had *only* a PRESTO card. Which means I could have gotten into the station the first time.
I could have saved myself half an hour of walking. | Had no subway fare, had to walk half an hour with 5 hard drives in my bag to withdraw some money, forgot I had some other method of payment the whole time. |
t3_rx7xj | AskReddit | I have the worlds shittiest neighbour; we share a living room wall so there's either COD or Nickelback blasting into my apartment so loud he broke my Mr. Spock action figure. Help? | I live in an apartment complex that is mostly students, and I knew going in here that it was mostly upper year students who wanted out of residence. Anyway, the people who lived there before he did were fairly quiet and we never bothered each other. I'm writing my thesis [which is due Monday, cue me crying], and I'd really like to be able to concentrate without thinking of photographs that make me laugh or want to shoot myself or what have you.
ANYWAY, this guy moves in, and it's just been non-stop. I've spoken to my landlady several times about him, I've spoken to him directly, at 3am because I couldn't sleep because of the noise, and I've also left a note on his door politely asking him that "if he was going to blast music into my apartment, at least make it good", which only ended him turning everything up as loud as it could go and knocked my action figures off the wall mounts and broke them.
Apparently he's been given verbal warnings, etc. But nothing's working. I feel like I have to take it into my own hands, so what should I do? I often play Rebecca Black on loop until he stops, but it hasn't been working as of late. | shitty neighbour plays really loud everything, knocked things off my wall and is generally an asshole. Need ideas how to declare possible war. |
t3_4knqi5 | relationships | My distant ex (19F) only seems to care about me (19F) in order to get me to cuddle with her. | To preface this, I'm not a very romantic person in nature. So when I met my ex, (19F) and had romantic feelings for her, I was ecstatic. We started dating for the first time, (told her over Skype because I was too nervous to do it in person) and broke up about four months later.
We broke up because of a few factors; 1) She would never respond to any of my messages or make any effort to talk to me. So that lead to 2) me getting closer to a mutual friend. (Closer being defined as we texted often and hung out maybe twice. All platonic.) She must've been jealous(?), so she broke it off. We remain friends as we are part of the same 'circle,' and I see her every day.
Six months after this, we have a frank talk. She stopped having romantic feelings for meabout two months into the relationship, but didn't do anything about it. We started dating again to try and sort out our differences, because we really did like each other.
Just kidding, she breaks up with me the day after Valentine's Day because she isn't ready for these kinds of relationships. Fair, I guess, if it didn't work two times she must not be ready for it. But, one thing we did before we started dating, during the duration of our relationships, and after we broke up is cuddle. That's our thing. Even when things were rough, just sleeping next to each other was comforting. I don't want it to end, but I do want to know what she wants from me.
It happened again last night, and even while I recognize that I like her more than she likes me, she keeps putting out confusing signals in order to keep doing this. I'm also scared I might never feel that way about someone else ever, as she is the first crush I've ever had. | Distant ex wants to keep cuddling with me, I don't know how to shut her out to stop getting hurt as I see her every day, please help. |
t3_1kpcjc | relationships | Me[24/F] with[25/M] not relationship status. I told him that I liked him, not sure if he feels the same? | So, I just let this guy I am interested in, know that I like him. I basically 'said' that I felt he should know that I like him.
His initial response - it made him laugh, he said that's always good to know and it's better than not being liked.
Then shortly after he responded saying that he thinks I am quite the fine lady myself and used my name. Then paid me a few compliments.
I am not quite sure by his response, if he is telling me he also likes me? And if he gets that I like him more than friends. | So to sum up. Is he interested? Does he get that I meant I like him as more than friends? Or do I need to re state that I am interested in him in no uncertain terms? |
t3_15ae33 | relationships | Caught [F, 21] boyfriend [M, 23] sending flirty messages to women that he met online. Should I ask him about them (again)? | I (f, 21) saw that my boyfriend of 6 months (m, 23) was being quite suspicious with his phone and accidentally saw a message coming in from someone labeled with only a greeting. I asked him about it and he quickly scrolled through the messages. I saw words and phrases on there like "I have both ;)," "ass," "tits," and "ball of love and lust." I asked him and he said that those were just her and gave me innocent reasons for them. He then promised that he deleted her number and told her he couldn't talk to her anymore. I don't know if I can trust him anymore though, because I saw more messages later from another number that seemed to be from a woman he had met online. I didn't ask about that one and now I'm afraid that I've only seen the tip of the iceberg. Should I ask him about all of this? | Boyfriend texting other women. Gave innocent reasons for the very flirty responses the women sent. Not sure if I can trust him now. |
t3_556f9q | relationships | I [25 F] want to ask the girl I'm dating [24 F] to be my girlfriend, but am worried it will make my ex- fiance [28 M] upset. | So, I ended a 5 year relationship with my ex- fiance a few months ago. We have a toddler together. We were living together up until we broke up, and then I moved out. We share custody of our toddler and things have mostly been working out, without the need to go to court or anything. Sometimes it feels like we are friends, and sometimes we argue but overall things have been going ok.
We have both been online dating, and about a month ago I met someone I really like. We have gone on a couple of dates and had sex both times. I really like this person and would really like to ask her to be my girlfriend. I don't feel like this is a rebound or anything, since I dated several other people in between my ex and her. My relationship with my ex was also very unhappy for quite a long time, so I really felt ready to move on as soon as it ended.
But I am worried my ex will react poorly and make co- parenting difficult if he finds out I am in a relationship with someone else. The last time I told him I was casually dating someone, he sent me some very nasty text messages and it turned into a fight.
Part of me thinks I should wait until he has a girlfriend before I have one, so that he won't be as likely to be mad at me. But I don't know when that will be, and I don't know if I want to put my life on hold to cater to an ex. I am having a difficult time with this decision, but I if he weren't a factor I would have asked this person out already. | want to ask girl to be my girlfriend, but don't want to ruin co- parenting relationship with my ex by appearing to move on too quickly. |
t3_13gi2b | AskReddit | What kind gesture have you done for somebody that was met with a completely infuriating lack of appreciation? | My girlfriend and I recently let her old friend move in with us (from Colorado to California) free of charge until she could land on her feet. At first she was looking for jobs and apartments, but after a week and a half she changed her tune completely. All of a sudden she 'never really planned on staying long' and when my gf tried to encourage her to stick it out (it didn't 'feel like home' yet, if you can believe that!) she was accused of being judgmental. During her stay we made every effort to accommodate her, show her around, introduce her to our friends etc. but she always had an excuse not to hang out (HAD to go to yoga, COULDN'T go out for dinner because she was on a 'cleanse more bullshit like this). Their friendship quickly unraveled because this girl was impossible to talk to; she only wanted you to tell her what she wanted to hear, and could not for the life of her articulate why she wanted to move back. My girlfriend grew tired of dealing with some one who acted like a child and we ended up encouraging her to move out a day earlier than she planned. The kicker for me is that she insisted on giving us $300 for the first month, which we repeatedly told her was unnecessary because we wanted her to have all the money she would need to be able to stick it out. When the shit finally hit the fan she had the nerve to suggest that we return half the money as it was intended to cover the whole month. I told her we never wanted any money, but would now be keeping it as a charge for using us as a hotel as opposed to taking advantage of the incredible opportunity we had given her. Reddit, I guess I have two questions for you 1. what gesture of kindness have you done for somebody that went entirely unappreciated, and 2. did we handle the situation wrong? i.e. should we have simply said 'moving away from home isn't for everyone, we're sorry it didn't work out.' | let a friend live with us for free as long as she would need to get started in California, she moved back home after 2 weeks and a now strained friendship |
t3_1s07yy | relationships | How do I keep things casual- are they even casual now? | I (F21) got out of a 2 year relationship in September that ended pretty terribly. I have been hooking up with a friend of mine (M21) since Halloween now. We have had a few sleepovers and sometimes he will come over in the morning for great sex and then we will go our separate ways and cook together with friends. we talk every day- although i try not to share anything too personal about myself. There have been times where i will go to his house and watch football with all of his housemates and he will be cute and hold my hand or rub my thighs. Am I out of touch for thinking that the staying at his house with his friends thing is kind of girlfriend like? We are both going our separate ways come May so I dont think it would be worth it to fall for someone again.
I can't tell whats happening and I am worried I will start to like him. So my questions to reddit are: how do I keep things casual? is it bad if i start to like him after recently getting out of a relationship? | hooking up with a friend of mine after getting out of a serious relationship. dont know whats happening. how do I keep things casual? is it bad if i start to like him after recently getting out of a relationship? |
t3_2lw9yj | relationships | I'm [21/M] having trouble with my 7-month gf's [20/F] choices in clothing | * | My serious gf wears very low-cut clothing, even when not around me. Why would she do this, knowing it will draw sexual attention from other guys? And should I say anything, or just try to ignore it? |
t3_1gcmgt | Advice | Thinking about quitting my job. Should I (politely) speak my mind why or should I say "thank you, loved my time, etc" | A little context. I work in a production environment using a program that was created by the company I work for. About a year and a half ago I was put on a task that does not use the program but instead I do everything myself online and I am the only one that does this task.
Yesterday I was given a new production sheet with a 35% decrease in the amount I am paid in each task. Previously, they would say it's because they improved the program and so it reduced time it took to do a task, but now I am working alone.
They reduced my pay because they could, not because of any metrics of it taking me less time to do my job. If I were to quit, should I state why politely or should I play the game and say thank you and I loved my time here? | Company reduced my pay because they could. I want to quit but wondering if I should speak my mind or play the game |
t3_487fy5 | relationships | Worried about my crush [18F] seeking validation from relationships and my [20M] unconscious pursuit of codependent relationships | **DATING/CONTEXT:**
I took a friend of a few months who had broken up with her long-distance BF (6 months together, <2 months on the same continent, broke up 2 weeks ago). The date went really well. I can't remember having laughed so hard and often in months, and we ended up fooling around a little before I drove her home.
The complication: she is brilliant while also obsessively perfectionist - especially when it comes to the standards to which she holds herself. She's afraid of being overly dependent on an SO to validate her self-esteem and doesn't want to bounce from relationship to relationship (which to my understanding may have been an issue in her past). I don't want to be some sort of crutch for her self-esteem or for our relationship to be grounded in an unhealthy compulsion for her to be with *someone*, and I believe she feels the same. Even though we hit it off so well, she has become avoidant.
So my plan is to let things cool off for the next two weeks and giver he some space. We already agreed to go on a sunrise hike later this week with mutual friends and acquaintances, but between Spring break and midterms we otherwise will not be seeing much of each other anyway.
**PERSONAL ISSUES:**
If any of you have seen House on TV, I'm worried that I resemble Dr. Wilson when it comes to relationships. Maybe I'm simply into brainy women who almost inevitably come with some mental issues (consequently revealed by emotional intimacy), but I'm worried that I have fucked up preferences. The two girlfriends I've had both had issues with anxiety/depression, and I'm afraid I started seeing my friend as a crush after witnessing her sadness after her breakup. I'm worried that I'm only attracted to women I feel a need to care for - and that I'll continually end up in codependent relationships. | What are your personal experiences with romantic partners whose self-esteem overly relies on validation from relationships. Any advice for a 20 year old male afraid of winding up in (co)dependent relationships? |
t3_1jhmpq | relationships | How do I (22M) get over my ex and best friend (25F) | We met online (not a dating website) in february. Met in real life in may and really liked each other, and entered a relationship. However, after a month it became apparent that it didn't work between us. I wanted more than what she could give me. It was not a mutual break-up, but we both agreed it didn't work. We decided to remain friends, because we really like each other, and because none of us really have a lot of friends (I don't really have any, she has one) and we enjoy talking to each other.
She has been wonderful after the split, listening, trying to help and so on, and while I appreciate it so much, I'm realizing that this is not at all helping me get over her. So I need to change something.
Not being friends with her is absolutely out of the question. If you're going to comment something like "stop talking to her and get a new friend," don't bother, I won't do that. But I need to do something. I want to be her friend. But right now I'm still falling more and more in love and it's beginning to hurt, nut only me, but our friendship.
I should probably also mention that I am severely depressed, and have been so for many years, but only started treatment this spring (partially influenced by my friendship with her.)
So, what can I do? I'm really looking for anything here. Anything from big changes to small things like "watch this movie or read this book". | Relationship didn't work. We're still very good friends and would like to remain that way, but I'm still falling in love with her every day. |
t3_2vcq2j | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend [28 F] of 2.5 years, we had an open relationship, then we didn't, now I think it's best to have one again? | Throwaway for obvious reasons. I met my girlfriend in Europe 2.5 years ago, as I travel a lot for work. We hit it off right away and began dating. About a year ago, I started questioning things as I was going to be spending more time in the US again and we discussed briefly ending the relationship. I actually thought it might be a reasonable choice to start an open relationship rather than ending it. After a few discussions, we decided to do that, we had an open relationship for one year.
I then met someone while I was at work in the US and we started a semi casual sexual relationship. As per our agreement, I didn't tell my girlfriend as she did not want to know if I met someone or had a sexual relationship. As I was getting ready to head back to Europe, I ended the relationship in the US and my girlfriend and I decided an open relationship was not for us anymore. I disclosed to her my sexual relationship and she had one as well.
Things were going great, I was going back and forth between the US and Europe and I thought our relationship was going great. I felt really bad defriending the other girl on facebook and decided to add her again behind my girlfriend's back and without her approval. She found out and blew up on me and I then removed her as a friend again.
A few weeks later I caught her talking to another guy via text message and suspiciously deleting their previous conversations. I confronted her and she promised to block him right away. I then caught her continuing to talk to the guy, but she changed his name to a girl's name in order to get away with it. She uses my friending of the other girl as her rationale for this behavior. She insists to me nothing happened with the guy, but how am I to know for sure?
I do really like her, I'm just at a lost as to what do from this point. I'm considering leaving her or talking to her again about having an open relationship. Am I a fool for considering staying with her? | GF and I have had an exclusive/open/exclusive relationship but I'm not sure if she respects the exclusive part, where do I go from here? |
t3_39we4t | relationship_advice | On the verge or divorce of 11yr relationship... But can I get him back? | I'm 30/f and he's 33/m. We've been together for total 11.2 yrs and married 1.2. He is my first love, my first everything, I moved 2 states away to be with him. We married on our 10yr ani. I recently discovered he has been having a relationship with his coworker and it kills me. My evidence is texts, and the way he treats me sometimes. I have confronted him about another relationship but he denies it. He instead talks like work is hard and everything is fine. He says he still loves me and tonight we had a great time hanging out at a local bar, calling me his wife and such. But did find the texts to Her during. I guess I just want to hear someone to say bail. I'm super upset about it and I love him SOOO much. I feel so alone and scared. I have no family that lives close so, it would probably mean I'd have to attempt to live on my own or go back home and that would really depress me. Please tell me guys, is this a lost cause? He does say he loves me.. And for many years we have loved. Can someone love 2 people? Should I fight for our marriage? Please help. I'd love any and all advice. | 11yr relationship on the rocks due to coworker. says he loves me and always will. Lady texts still continue. I'm scared and alone with family 800 miles away. Advice? |
t3_1vcecx | relationship_advice | [33/m] having communication/relationship problems with [31/f] partner of six years. Going out of my mind :( | Today she decided to lend out some of our DVDs to a random male parent that she met while taking her daughter to karate class. If I were to do something like that, she'd get really upset at me. She also set up a play date for the girls and spent time together alone with this guy last weekend while the girls played. It was in a public place, so she told me. I was trying to be cool about it, but it's driving me nuts. She lent him movies that we've watched together and really enjoyed, quoted from etc. Had lots of fun with, but now she's sharing that with this other guy and it makes me uncomfortable. This sort of thing has had a history during our relationship, but it's never gone past a certain point to my knowledge.
I tried to talk to her about it tonight, but all she did was listen to me and not say anything in return. I pressed the issue just a bit, asking for some input and compassion from her but she just got defensive. I developed a huge jealousy issue from her, mostly because I wanted us to be playing from the same rule book. If I'm not "allowed" to do something, then she's not. She used to get so jealous about me talking to other girl friends of mine that she embarrassed me in public on a few different occasions. Now she doesn't seem jealous anymore, not that I'd want to test the waters… because what would be the point. | gf of six years takes things that we shared and shares them with other guys. Does not communicate with any depth, always says "I don't know" |
t3_1dadqf | relationships | In a great relationship, but don't want to hurt her in the long run (m20, f20) | This'll probably be a little long, so I apologize in advance for that.
We started dating about 8 months ago, and it's been great. I mean by far the best relationship I've ever had. She's pretty attractive, and one of the nicest girls ever. A complete angel. So I have to say I'm pretty damn happy.
That's the good, now the bad. I know that when I graduate college (in 2 years) I'll be going to active duty in the army, and I'm sure we'll be back to war by then. So I'm fairly certain that I'll get deployed. Just as a personal thing, I don't want to be married before that happens because I don't want to be worrying about my family (if something happens to me) more than those under my command. Additionally, the Army has a way of ruining marriages, which is another reason I want to wait till after to get married.
I think most people find their future spouse in college, and if I continue dating this girl she won't have that opportunity, unless she's willing to wait on me for another 4+ years after college.
So on the one hand I want to stay with her because I really like her, on the other it may be better for her in the long run if she wasn't with me... A piece of additional info: I've been her first everything, from first kiss to her first time.
Now a caveat: I kinda feel like this is all in my head. This has been my longest relationship to date and I'm starting to miss the single life a bit. I feel like I'm too young to enter a relationship that may end in marriage. I'm not ready for that type of commitment, but I think she is looking for that.
Really I'm just looking for outside input. Thanks in advance for any insight you all have. | Great relationship, will probably have to end it in a few years, should I now or see how it plays out. |
t3_ixhpr | AskReddit | Recurring scary as heck nightmares. Help?! | Lately, I seem to be having the same nightmares at least once every week. I know the concept of sleep paralysis, and have had nights where I just wake up completely frozen, scared shitless, and it takes me what seem to be the longest 2 minutes ever to snap back into consciousness. Now, the shit is going to a whole new level where I feel like someone is pulling the covers off me, when I fight back in what seems to be a nightmare, whatever the force is, seems powerful enough to pull me off my bed. As an atheist/former Muslim, I really don't want to believe in some evil demon lurking near me, but I'm really beginning to question this recurring nightmare sequences. The only way I can ever wake myself up is my just reciting some verses from the Quran I memorized ages ago, because frankly, when you're scared as hell about something being in your room, you'd do anything to make it go away. Do you believe in spirits? Do you think it's just some psychological bs? I can't sleep at night anymore because I don't want to dream, I leave my lights on, but still..living on your own makes it scary. | Recurring nightmares about a presence in my room that feels utterly real. Don't want to believe in demons and spirits, but need some explanation to rationalize the damn sequence. |
t3_11a8mm | dating_advice | I(17m) want to tell a friend (17f) What I've felt for like 2 months, but I can't. Would anyone be kind enough to help? | Well, this might be lame, but I'll tell anyway. I have had a crush on girls before, it's not new. But I had never felt something as deep and intense as with her. For more than a month I've been trying to approach her on the subject, but I can't seem to bring up the subject when I have the opportunity.
We're both young, I know. And my intentions are nothing specific, I just want to tell her.
I have never been able to talk about my feelings openly, I have had troubles even accepting what I feel, so that's maybe the obstacle.
If anyone could tell me of how they got over it, or give me some advice on how to make it easier, that would be great.
P.S. I even tried after a couple of drinks, and nothing. | I (17m) love a friend (17f) since 2 months ago and I can't tell her and I need advice on how to. |
t3_2vluwg | relationships | I [23 M] just dumped my [22 F] Girlfriend of 7 month. I fell horrible! | Hi there fello redditors,
I just made the big annoncement! The worst way I think I could have done it.
She text me during the work hour that 'Tonight we need to talk!' But since friday, when we had a huge argument/fight, I'v ebeen thinking about our relationships and I acted differently. But the last 2 days, I really made my mind and settle down in my head, that it was over, but I didn't know how to annonce it, when and where. When she text me this, I saw a big openning... So I toke it.
When she arrive home she was quiet and cold. Then it went like this :
*Her* : Is there something?
*Me* : Yes!
*Her* : Seriously? Please tell me you are joking!
*Me* : No!
*Her* : I knew it!
*Me* : It's not what you are thinking, I'm not seing anybody else... I can't live with you!
* ** I Can't live with you! ** *
- Did I forget to mention that she moved in with me into my house?
- And did I say that I cheated on her and she tried to forgive me?
- Did I told you that she cry a freaking ocean because of me?
- And for your information, I could swear that the saw her futur with me.
I fell like a monster, an asshole, the worst human being,...
I'm not here to ask you to comfort me, but to empty my heart.
Sorry for the bother! | I said to my girlfriend that we can't be a couple anymore and I fell horribly bad, because she really loved me. |
t3_2o842m | tifu | TIFU by trying to be the "rock" for my girlfriend. | This happened on Friday of last week. I[26M] got a call at 6 am from my girlfriend[24f]. She calls crying stating she was in a car accident and was scared because she couldn't feel or move one of her leg's. She was scared she was going to be paralyzed. She was returning from a graduation for boot camp of the Navy in Illinois with her older brother and her niece. So me being the rock for my girlfriend I drive from Washington D.C to Ohio (7 hr drive) just to make sure my girlfriend is alright.
Finally, I get to the hospital in which all of her family are at which were involved in the accident. They get dismissed from the hospital and we decide to find the car (which was totaled) and gather all the belongings. We get to the towing lot and find out it is closed after it was told that it was open. The Lot's hours were 7:30 am - 5:30 pm. We got there at 3pm and no one was there. We call their 24/7 number as well as call their office number and get no response. Both end up going to a drop call. Seeing my distressed girlfriend and her family in pain and wanting to go home. I get the sudden "Fuck it" urge and jump the fence that had barbed wire. I gathered most of the belongings when the cops came and arrested me for Criminal Trespass. I now have to face court next week in the shitiest city in Ohio. I hope all had a amazing week like I did. | Girlfriend got in accident, drove 7 hrs to see her. Tried to gather her belongings but the lot was closed. Climbed the fence like a monkey and got arrested for Trespassing. |
t3_upp9d | AskReddit | Is it wrong to want to runaway? | As background, I'm a 19 y/o college male who was forced to work 40 hour weeks during the summer to "help pay for gas" on his car that gets ~30 mpg. That's the only thing I need money for besides the occasional date with my girlfriend. So I'm being forced to work a full time week, I never see my friends, I see my girlfriend maybe once a week for a few hours, and then it's back to work again. My parents are saying I'm lazy when I've called in sick twice over the past 6 weeks. I'm just starting to get into the mindset of just packing up all my stuff and running away with my girlfriend. I can't bear the thought of having to work for my horrid job with my horrid co-works dealing with those horrendous customers another full time week. Only thing holding me from doing this? I do not have a decent amount of money saved up yet to allow me to just get in my car and go. I want to start over fresh somewhere with my girlfriend. Somewhere both of us can live without the agony of making sure our parents are perfectly ok with every choice we make. Somewhere I can see her every day when I come home from work, not just seeing my parents judging me after sending me out to bring them groceries because they didn't want to get off the couch. I just need to get away. Or I need a drink. | I'm tired of being forced to work 40 hour weeks and seeing my girlfriend once a week and friends no times out of the week. Is it wrong to want to run away? |
t3_103ipw | AskReddit | Reddit, what is a seemingly stupid thing that has changed your life forever? | In my case it would be playing a card game called Yu-Gi-Oh!. I started playing with some friends in my class at school and I really enjoyed it (I used to play back in 6th grade, but then quit when the fad died out). I stopped playing at school because it seemed "un-cool" for a 9th grader to be playing Yu-Gi-Oh still. Instead of playing at school I went to the local card shop and began playing there. Yu-Gi-Oh was a game popular with people of all walks of life, I was forced to deal with and sometimes even play against people whom an awkward white string bean of a kid would never dream of talking to. Because of this it made me a better person, at this shop I have met some of my best friends, and I have learned how to talk to people. I am 17 now, and in my senior year of High school, and I have grown alot because of this. | = I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh and made some black friends. I am now less white and more popular. |
t3_1wban6 | personalfinance | Should I start investing in my 401k at 21? | I recently started a new job and it comes with a 401k with some sort of matching program from the company. This is my first full-time job with benefits and I don't really know anything about 401ks except they are a sort of retirement investment used instead of pensions. I have just under 11k in debt I am planning to pay off over the next three years and between that and my living expenses I don't know how much I will be able to afford to save. I don't have any credit history (not even sure if that matters with a 401k). | should I start putting money in my 401k now? Can/should I wait? Is there a minimum amount I can put in? What exactly is a 401k and will it complicate my taxes? |
t3_4f42vj | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [27 F], 3 months, relationship is still new to me, but she acts like were married... Does sketchy stuff I'm suppose to not worry BC we're dating? | There has been a few fights and what not but for the most part everything has been good. This is my first serious relationship since graduating college and having a real job. For her, she just got out of a LTR (was actually engaged before finding out her to be was cheating lol).
So the meat and potatoes. She has gotten really comfortable with us... And I think its too a fault. Its like she doesn't really try anymore, just goes through the motions, only have sex when she's horny, has no problem asking me for large favors (borrow $100, borrow my sports car for a week when her car broke down, take ger out to eat/drink too often etc). She does all this under the pretense that "I'm going to be a big part of your life from now on, so lets take kid wheels off".
And there's other things too... Like she gets off work at 9pm... Goes out drinking with her co-workers and text me at 3am to let me know she's home. When.i show discomfort towards such action, she acts shocked and appalled. "Omg you don't trust me?? I'd never cheat on you, you don't have to worry about what I'm out doing because we're I'm a serious relationship..."
Huh? I'm having a hard time getting my head around this kinda of stuff. Once again, I'm a noobie when it comes to serious LTRs. Am I overreacting? I'm really invested in this; emotionally, financially, etc. I don't want to push her away by being insecure, but shittttt..... | New GF way too.comfortable way too fast, not trying near as much as before, slightly taking advantage, not putting out, etc. |
t3_1jp8ud | relationship_advice | My boyfriend (M17) and I (F18) broke up, but still talk. What am I supposed to do? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. We met during a class, and started talking during the holidays. We started dating right at the new year, and its been one of the best relationships i've ever had. I love him dearly, however...
We started fighting a little less than a month ago. I thought these were just isolated little spats. He recently came out hes been depressed, and i've been trying to work with him through this, but I don't know what he needs because he shuts himself emotionally and hides, instead of talk it out until the problem is addressed.
During a fight, he told me he was done. He told me to get out of his home, and left the room.
After the event, we still text. He says he loves me, but can't be in a relationship anymore. We are both going on trips for two weeks, and I'm wondering if the distance is what we need, or if I'm being foolish and need to move on?
I love him dearly, but I know that pushing someone too much is just a waste of time and harmful to individuals (first hand experience). | My boyfriend broke up with me, says he loves me but can't be in a relationship. Will time apart help us, or should I pick up the pieces and try to move on? |
t3_35k5rg | relationships | Me [32/M] with my wife [29F], FIL [56M]refers to me as the 'nincompoop' | Hello all,
Please excuse me as English is not my first language.
I would like an outside perspective please on the relationship between me and my wife.
I have been married to my wife for around 9 months after dating for approximately 2 years. We met through friends and I truly see her as an intelligent, beautiful and caring person.
A bit of an issue that has been on my mind is the way she and her father talk to me. Earlier in our marriage when we had our disagreements we would sit down and talk about it peacefully until a resolution was reached. Now if we have any disagreement it quickly resorts to her ignoring my suggestions and name calling under her breath. This seems to have gotten worse ever since we moved to be near her family.
Me and her father do not have the best relationship. In his own words he believes his daughter should be married to someone more assertive and someone that does not shy away from social events.
I do admit, I try and avoid big social events as I truthfully find them quite exhausting. I don't hold any anger towards him and he has a right to his opinion. However I found out through my brother and sister in law that whenever my name is mentioned he refers to me as 'the nincompoop', I brought this up with my wife but she seemed to brush aside the issue.
I am starting to think that the way my father in law is talking about me is actually starting to affect the way my wife treats me. I am considering talking to my father in law one on one but I really doubt I can do anything to change his opinion of me.
My wife and I both work so I don't think it has anything to do with finances.
Could someone offer any advice as I can really see this getting worse, thanks. | Father in Law has no respect for me, believes his daughter should have married someone else and is starting to affect how his daughter (my wife) treats me. |
t3_1kjcc4 | dating_advice | Anyone try using Zoosk? Apparently, I (24m) am terrible at it. NEED HELP, PLEASE | So, female perspective would be extremely helpful, but any advice is appreciated...
I try using various approaches, but I barely get any responses. I've tried clever openers, authentic openers (relating to other users' profiles), simple openers ("Hello"/ "How's it going?"), and shocking openers. Once in a while, I'll be alerted that users I've messaged recently viewed my profile, but almost always no response to my messages.
I've been refining my own profile constantly, since I can only assume that a view with no response means my profile was unattractive. Of course I'd prefer a cuter girl, but at this point I've drastically lowered my standards (which I barely had to begin with).
I didn't particularly think of myself as "ugly," but the evidence seems to say otherwise. I don't like using these descriptions for people, but even the least attractive women you could ever encounter, seem to be uninterested.
This is really discouraging, and somehow ended up hurting my self-esteem in real life situations. | I'm desperately in need of assistance in my online dating game. I might even provide a link to my profile if it's necessary... |
t3_n2dn7 | offmychest | December the Fifth | This day, four years ago, my life drastically changed. It would be a better story for me to tell you where i m now, instead of telling you what i have endured. I have never, until this posting, put to words my ordeal.
OK...here goes. Oct....07. Was sexually assaulted. When I finally awoke, filed police report. Reached out for help from friends, best Friend. Had helped best friend through past rape, best friend goes awol when best gal needs her. Loses not one, but two close friends. "It's just too much to deal with" ...i overcame that. The way my friends treated me my almost as worse as the one who raped me. ...so here i am, former runway model, confident and highly independent -now completely alone, timid.. i was so scared, jumpy. I became hyper vigilant. Still to this day, I sleep with a very large, highly aggressive dog.
Just when i had started to heal from that emotional wound, I had become strong enough to go back to work, I was hit by a drunk driver. I was a passenger in a vehicle that was T-boned on the right hand side. I was lucky to get away with the injuries I had-i say this now, because I could not image any more physical pain than I already have. It took me two years to get back to half of the woman I was, and then.....I was in another FUCKIN CAR ACCIDENT. Any progress I had made was negated. i spent another few months in bed. | Four years of hell. Was raped,and in two car accidents, but throught it all still very optimistic and didn't kill myslef |
t3_50s7nu | Advice | He couldn't get it up, now he's not texting me. | Sorry if I'm in the wrong place for this. I had this crush on a guy for a long time, we work together. He invited me over really late one night to hangout, this is like the first time he's shown actual interest in me...so I'm stoked.
After partying We get into bed together but he's too fucked up and his dick didn't work. I was having a great time though, being touched by him, hanging out, being close and cuddling. While we were rolling around I laughed a little -- bec I was having a good time!! I wasn't upset, disappointed yeah bec I wanted to bang, but I told him like "it's okay, we can't right now. next time [insert dirty nasty thangs here]" and playful laughter.
But he kept asking "why are you giggling??"
And now that I'm speculating (because he's not texting me back anymore....) I'm thinking what if he's pissed and thought I was laughing AT HIM because his dick didn't work...
I can't stop thinking about him. | I like this guy for 2 years, finally get in bed w him, whiskey dick, he's not talking to me anymore. |
t3_4ljtxk | relationships | My boyfriend [24 M]wants me [23 F] to sleep over at his house more, but he lives with his parents. | I honestly just need some feedback. My boyfriend still lives with his parents (I love his family, and although they have issues like every family, they always make me feel accepted), and I have my own place in the city. We have been fighting a lot lately about splitting our time more evenly between the two. However, I am more comfortable in my own apartment, where I pay my own rent and have worked really hard to get where I am now.
My boyfriend is in a rough patch and is still staying in his parent's house, and although I love his family to death, I feel uncomfortable staying there, especially when I am paying for my own place. My roommates are 100% ok with my boyfriend being here since we're all on different schedules anyway. I live about 40 minutes away from him, and we just got in a fight at 1am, which resulted with me driving back home by myself. The only person with an issue is my boyfriend, and he is asking me to stay with him and his parents a few times a week.
Is this normal? Would you feel comfortable staying with your bf's parents, even when you have your own space? I would honestly have no issue staying with him if he had his own place, but I just feel weird having to make small talk and being on my game all the time. I moved out of my mom's house right after high school and never looked back, he did the exact opposite and makes me feel terrible for having my shit together.
Any feedback/words of encouragement/criticisms would be greatly appreciated! | BF wants me to stay at his place, but he lives with his parents. I feel uncomfortable because i have my own place, and would rather sleep here. |
t3_zv0qb | AskReddit | Non-studying exam prep? | I'm about to take a board exam on a Wednesday at 1:00 PM.
I've been able to take a a lot of days off work just before the exam, and was wondering, is there something I should be doing with my schedule to make sure my brain is functioning at maximum potential during the exam?
For example, because I know it's going to be at 1:00 PM, should I be working out at say 12:30 PM everyday to get my body ready to go, and on test day, my body knows to get energized?
Also, what about eating? Should I be eating constantly at say 11:30 AM to land me right in time to have the energy to take a test?
I've been studying on a strict schedule, but was just wondering if there is any non-studying things I can do to help make me do better on this test! | Non-studying things to do to get body/brain prepared for test (I.e. sleep, eating, working out at certain times) |
t3_a2oht | needadvice | Joining Marines in less than a year, mother is not supporting my option. | I decided a couple of years ago that I am going to join the military. Over the last couple of years I have been involved in JROTC, while I know that it is as far as you can possibly get from actually being enlisted, I love it. I have asked my instructors about their personal experience in the Marines, and I have also asked them about boot camp if they ever felt like quitting. Which they answered yes to by the way. They also told me it is the best decision they ever made.
Well now I am a senior, and am faced with a choice, do I go to college [community college, my grades are bad.] and pursue something I really don't want to do [I really don't see myself working as a civilian] or do I pursue my dreams and join the marines. And I was telling my mother about it and she told me that if I joined the marines she would step out the door and move away and would sever all contact with me. She believes that me being involved in JROTC has brainwashed me to the point that I don't want to do anything other than to go to the military. I kind of see her point because JROTC is almost like a long term recruitment session. But I have always been interested in the military even before high school. How do I make her understand this?
The messed up part is that I believe that she will cut me off completely. She is really resolute about me not joining. And I really love my mother she is the only parent I still have with me. And I don't think she realizes that even with that threat I still will join no matter what when I turn 18 next September. I would also like someone who is a parent preferably who have had kids who made the same decision to explain to me how hard this decision really is for a parent. | Mom will cut me off completely if I join the marines. Need advice on how to convince her to let me join without cutting me off. |
t3_37070x | relationships | Me (22F) broken up with by him (22M) last week, have a ton of schoolwork to do, no moivation, help me focus? | I'm approaching finals week and about to take the MCAT, also working on med school applications. I'm having such a hard time feeling motivated. I know I need to do things and apply to jobs and med school to keep moving on with my life, but my appetite is fluctuating and I'm not sleeping much. I"m going to classes, work, spending time with friends, etc. so I feel like I'm doing things "right" except I should start exercising more, but I feel so numb and sad and unmotivated that it's hard to focus on things. I'm sure this is common after a breakup but does anyone have any tips? I'm so preoccupied with thoughts of him and really need to keep moving forward with my own life. He was my release from schoolwork and now I have this strange comfort and sadness in just thinking about him. THe heavy chest sadness and urges to call him feel really hard - I know it's withdrawal symptoms from the addiction part of the brain, but I"m really struggling. | looking for advice on focusing on myself post-breakup when I Have a ton of work to do to keep moving on with my future |
t3_3wzq5j | relationships | SO [17F] using relationship as an ultimatum to get me [17M] to get a job. | I'm currently at college studying my A Levels (UK) aspiring to university next year (conditional). She too is doing A levels but she's been working as her mum tells her to get a job.
My SO is using our relationship of a year and a half as an ultimatum (I either get/look for a job or she's not sure she can be with me). I don't want to sound like I'm stirring something but I think these are the words of her mum...
I had a full-time job during the summer holidays (6weeks) at a company which is the career path I wish to take in life. I earnt a lot and worked 8-5, 5 days/w. SO works 12h/w and whenever she finishes she's too tired for a lot of things. I have explained to her that I did have a job, working a lot and she pretty much makes fun of me and then tells me that I don't have one now. She tells me she doesn't want to be controlling, but this is my first relationship so I don't know what I'm in for...
I've told her I will try and apply for a job after Christmas anywhere in retail (despite me telling her that it's not my desired career path) but she's gets annoyed. Her friend was over the other night while I was there and they both were telling me to get a job. The friend was listing off sectors in retail which I could get but I just sat their feeling really confounded...
This is making me feel really bad and slightly frustrated with her and my life in general. We have a great relationship but she just doesn't understand that I want to just work on my A levels. I have problems with trying to convey my problems, thoughts and emotions as I get anxious, scared and self-concious.
I admit, I do play games with my friends after college but surely most guys do? | Am I wrong for wanting to get my A levels finished and sorted before I get a job or do I need to get some sense knocked into me? |
t3_40zsdp | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex [22 F] My ex had a threesome 2 days after we broke up, she ruined threesomes for me | This might be an odd issue.
I've always liked the idea of a threesome - FFM. I talked about it with my ex, but she did not want FFM, she wanted MMF. She didn't want to see me having sex with someone else, I didn't want to see her getting boned by another guy - fair enough, it was off the table. No hard feelings.
It's something i've always enjoyed in porn, something I've liked to fantasize about. She had a threesome FFM two days after we broke up, on NYE. I don't know if it's the fact that I missed out, it really hurt me or it was simply my gf having sex with someone else - But I am utterly disgusted by threesomes now. And I don't like it. Every time I watch porn, there is a threesome on the page, my stomach turns and my libido goes down the toilet. It's something I have wanted to do for a long time, just once in my life. Now I cannot think about it. It's like when you eat too much of a certain potatochip flavour while kid, puke it all up and can't stand the sight of it for the rest of your life. | Ex had a threesome without me two days after we broke up. I now loose all interest in sex if a threesome comes up on my screen, or if I hear about one. Any way to get past this? |
t3_1hzkiq | relationship_advice | [16/m] Is it worth it to ask a friend of mine (16/f) out? If so, how? | Sorry if I just sound like a confused kid or something, but this is all new to me.
I have a girl friend about whom I care very much, and I talk to her pretty much every day via the internet, besides when we see each other in school (not now, though). We seem to get along pretty well, and I think I have grown an interest on her, but I'm not sure whether it is worth it to pursue our relationship in a romantic direction. I simply don't see the so-called *friendzone* as something as bad as most of my acquaintances my age seem to think, and don't know if I should risk it, besides not knowing what I'll get in another kind of relationship (apart from the obvious). How can I tell if I just like her as friends or something else? And, if I do choose to try to date her, how can I start? We have gone out with other friends sometimes, but how can I ask her out with a romantic connotation, or at least "just the two of us"? | Romance newbie, don't know if worth it to risk friendship for other kind of relationship or if I even like her in that way and don't know how to ask someone out other than as friends with tons of other people. |
t3_431j8y | relationships | My [24M] girlfriend [23F] accidentally sent me a naked picture | I've been dating Christina for a year. We have been long distance for the last two months, with two more months to go until she gets back from a program she is in.
We often talk over Facebook chat. If you guys don't know how FB chat works, if you copy and paste a photo into the box, it sends it automatically. You don't get to preview it before it sends.
So, Christina and I are talking. She says she wants to send me this funny gif of a dog, and then she accidentally sends me a naked picture of herself, in her bedroom. It wasn't a selfie. She quickly apologized and backpedaled, saying that she meant that for me, but she wanted to send it later, as a surprise. I asked her who took it, and she said she set a self timer on the camera on her iPhone. This excuse especially doesn't make any sense to me, because from the angle it's at, it definitely seems like a person took it.
The weird thing is, Christina and I don't exchange nudes. I've never asked any girl for a naked photo, and she's never asked one of me. Sometimes we send each other steamy texts, but that's the extent of it. I'm also suspicious because the photo was already saved to her clipboard, which makes me feel like she pasted it somewhere already.
Is my girlfriend cheating on me? How do I even find out? | My long distance gf accidentally copied and pasted a nude photo of herself into my Facebook chat. She apologized and said it was meant for me later as a surprise, but we have never exchanged photos and I don't believe her. |
t3_nkm9w | Parenting | Parent publicly hits child. | Dear /r/parenting,
As I didn't know where I should put this, I decided to come to you guys for advice.
Today, I was on my way to work when I decided to stop at the local Walgreens to pick up a couple of movies from redbox for a date tonight. Upon approaching the Redbox I noticed a mother with three children playing merrily around her. The mother became irrate and ordered the children back to the car. Two of the three complied and returned to the car, but the poor third child who refused received a quick, impulsive smack to the shoulder. The child of four or five, crying, returned to the car immediately. The mother then spotted me, turned cherry red, and apologized directly to me, as if I was the one she hurt. I thought I should say something to her about hitting her child, but I quickly passed it off as she is a grown woman and I am seventeen. So I quietly replied "It's cool", but no it wasn't cool. What should I have done in this situation? | A mother hit her child for disobeying her in public and then apologized after she saw me witness it. I told her it was cool and went about my day. What should I have done? |
t3_528xlr | relationships | I [M 21] saw my ex gf [21 F] talking to another guy on her friends [21 F] snapchat story. I have moved on from the relationship but I cant stop thinking about the idea of her talking to another guy. Help me think rationally. | Title pretty much says it. We were together for 4 years and broke up about 3 weeks ago. We're still friendly and it was a clean break but have gone no contact for a while. I thought i deleted all of her friends on social media (exactly to avoid this problem) but I guess I missed one and saw a snap on her friends story of her talking to a guy. I know the break up is best and I thought I had moved on because the relationship had already been over for a while and I have honestly gone out on a couple dates the last week. However, I cant stop thinking about this since I saw it and its killing. Logically, I know this is really dumb, but we all know how strong feelings can be even when you dont want them. What do I do? | saw my ex gf of 4 years talking to another guy, cant stop thinking about it even though I thought I moved on. |
t3_2xu06p | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend [23M] of 6 months says he's confused about "love" | My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 6 months. We have a great relationship; we've never really fought except for a few disagreements/debates that were always civil. We're sort of long distance but we stay with each other every weekend (taking turns visiting each other) and it seems to work well for us. We just got back from a week long trip to the Caribbean together and I've personally never been happier.
We're both relatively inexperienced when it comes to dating. I've only had one serious relationship before him (2 years) and he's only had one serious relationship before me (3 years).
Given that it's been 6 months, I was doing a small feelings inventory and while I'm not totally sure I love him yet, I feel like I'm getting there. I started to talk about this with him; I asked him how he knew he loved someone, and he said something that was a bit unsettling.
He told me that he was confused about feelings of love because he only said it to his ex-girlfriend so they could have sex. She made it pretty clear that it was a requirement for her in order for them to have sex and he said what she wanted to hear. Now he's confused about how he really feels and how to interpret feelings of love because it's always marred with feelings of guilt involving his previous relationship.
This definitely bothers me; I never knew he was the type to use/manipulate someone to get sex. His defense was always that he was young and stupid at the time (he was 18 when it happened) and that it was his first relationship. While I don't need him to tell me he loves me right away, I also don't want to be in a relationship where I'll never know whether or not he'll truly love me. | Boyfriend of 6 months can't tell if he loves me because he isn't sure what love feels like due to lying about it with his ex to have sex with her. |
t3_3biv8c | offmychest | From pure frustration to pure thankfulness. | I work part time at a Membership Wholesale warehouse (it rhymes with George Costanza's ATM Pin code). It is also important to note that I am also on the pastoral staff at a church. At the warehouse I work at the door and check people's cards. Every once in a while people will get upset that they have to show their card. Two days ago a guy refused to show his card. We are trained to be polite but insist on seeing the card. Eventually the guy relented and but shoved the card in my face. I am big guy and am used to people trying to act tough around me so I let it go but reminded him that we need to see the card any time he enters the building. He did not like that and we chirped back and forth a few times before he walked off.
A few moments later he returned and said, "Ya know as an Asian-American..." I interrupted him. I am a relatively patient man and pray often for humility but I absolutely hate it when people bring race into non-relavent issues. I have never yelled at a stranger before (and I have definitely never done it while on the clock) but with all the race issues going on I had had it, "Shut up! I have no time for your race baiting, get out of here!" He looked shocked but immediately left.
I was a bit shaken up for not only loosing my cool, but that I was accused of being a racist. It ruined my day. I could not believe a man would call me a racist for doing my job. I told my manager what had happened in case he decided to complain, my manager gave a good natured laugh at the situation and told me to let it go. When the day finally ended I went home and went straight to bed.
Yesterday the man came in and apologized to me. I gave him a hug and thanked him profusely and send him off with a blessing. Thank you for apologizing Asian guy, I really appreciate it. | Guy calls me racist for doing my job and I yell at him for race baiting. He realizes his mistake and apologizes the next day. |
t3_2rftxm | relationships | Should i [19 M] tell her [18 F] how i feel, now? | So I've had a crush on a girl who happens to be my best friends sister for a while. I've discussed it with my friend and he is actually really happy about it and after much thought and discussion i decided i would give it a go.
Over Christmas I've spent a large amount of time with both of them and whenever me and his sister are together we hit it off and had several intimate moments (cuddling watching tv, spooning in bed and she has fallen asleep with me twice).
Here's where i need advice, we are both at university, I'm 2nd year, she's first, and she went back to uni yesterday and i go back on friday. We are roughly 3 hours apart and will probably not see each other till Easter in 3 months. While I'm fairly certain there's mutual interest i hadn't yet had the opportunity to ask her out. We talk everyday and she's been incredibly flirty over the past week but especially given the circumstances i would much prefer to ask her face to face.
The issue is that she's an amazing girl and will have a lot of guys interested in her between now and easter. Should i tell her now how i feel and possibly ask her out? Or should i wait till easter and hope she's still available? | Not going to see my crush until easter, not sure if i should tell her now or wait and ask face to face. |
t3_20py1v | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GIrlfriend [26 F] together for years, about to move in together, and this morning she's eating a giant crumby muffin in bed. | For years I've told her that if we ever move in together, there can't be any eating on the bed because it seriously bothers me. It's the way I was raised never to eat in bed, and it just seems like a terrible habit. We're about to move in together (actually signing the papers today for the apartment) and I wake up to hear her eating a muffin in bed. Of all the things to produce crumbs, this seems like it's on the top tier of bad.
So I woke up and asked her why she was eating in bed, and she just said "I never agreed to that" and "it's not that big a deal," even though I've made it perfectly clear to her that it is a big deal for me, and really gets on my nerves.
What the heck should I do? Is this some ominous warning sign about living with her in the future- that she will disregard my preferences in the future on a whim? How the heck to I get her to stop eating in bed and respect my wishes? | Moving in with girlfriend. She ate in bed this morning despite me expressing quite clearly countless times throughout the previous *years* of our relationship that I can't stand it. |
t3_2muu3s | relationship_advice | How do I [19M] not push her [18F] away? | We started a LDR in September, I went away for school. We talk every day, and we skyped quite a bit. Our relationship was amazing while I was at home.
It changed a few weeks ago and hasnt been back to normal since. She doesnt really respond to my texts anymore, or itll be hours later with a few word answers. We havent skyped in a while and it just feels like theres no effort there. Now I know you guys will say cheating, but I dont think thats it. There is probably something else, maybe the distance idk.. She did get a new job and shes stressing over paying for school... but is that really something that would cause this?
But anyways, the not talking to me part is killing me, and everytime I mention it she just gets mad and says all I do it bitch at her (which I guess I do but its cause she doesnt try to fix what I say), today she said I need to "stop being paranoid and trust in her and the relationship" which I'm trying, but its hard. When she disappears without a word (which she would never do before) idk how to react.
Everyone keeps telling me if I keep doing that itll just push her away, and I think I already have. How can I fix this, honestly. Telling her my feelings doesnt really work cause Ive done it enough already.
Its a cycle, dont be paranoid (or she'll ignore me) but im paranoid because she ignores me.
I dont want to lose her, and I dont want to push her away... so do I just ride it out? I have 3 weeks till im back home.. just have minimal conversations for now? It just doesnt seem right for this to happen without a explanation to me, and I have to just accept it. | GF has become distant, I notice and bring it up to often-ish, and I think I've started pushing her away.. how can I fix this and stop from doing that.. |
t3_2jdlnj | relationships | Me [16 M] with my Crush/Friend [16 F] developing feelings mutually, not sure what her boyfriend will think | I met this girl at a soccer game about three weeks ago, and that was just a brief "Hello, nice to meet you". Fast forward one week, I see her at a football game and it turns out we both have a close mutual friend. End up spending some time, have a fun night.
Later that night I get a text from a random number and sure enough its her saying she asked our friend for my number. At this point, I am kind of interested so I am thinking "Cool! This could be good". Well, its not looking too good.
We've been talking non-stop since that football game and we have both developed feelings for each other, but this was before she brought up her boyfriend. Of 2 years.
I asked about the whole situation and she basically told me that she lost feelings for him a while ago and wasn't sure that she wanted to call things off with him, but after meeting me she had pretty much made her decision. A few days go by and they are still together and she still talks to me non-stop.
I see her in the hallways a lot and I text her throughout school, and I constantly get things like "Oh I would, but you-know-who is with me."
I really was starting to like this girl and I still do, but this whole situation is making me uncomfortable and I don't want to ruin anything for that guy. I have absolutely no clue what to do because I want to continue talking to her but something is clearly wrong with this situation.
To add, I am not leaving matters unattended. I have brought this up to her several times and nearly every single time I do she responds with something along the lines of "Oh, I don't have feelings for him anymore its really okay". I really like her, but I'm trying to put myself in her boyfriends shoes (whom I don't know) and its just killing me. | Girl and I like each other, her boyfriend doesn't know, I have no clue what to say because she acts like its nothing and says she lost feelings for him. What do I do? |
t3_1o0gnk | relationships | My girlfriend[23F] and I[23M] broke up a week ago, mutual friend has now blocked me on FB | A little backstory, my ex and I have known each other for 10+ years. We used to be really good friends, then went through some issues and weren't friends for a while. We reconnected last year, started hanging out more, and then ended up in a relationship (realizing now it was probably a mistake). Anyway, we broke up last week, things weren't working out, she is going through a lot in her life and decided she didn't want to be together anymore for various reasons. When we broke up, I asked her if there was someone else to which she said no that she wasn't interested in anyone else.
Anyway, I've noticed she's been spending a lot more time with one of her guy friends whom I have hung out with before, and we've had good conversations and everything. Seemed like a cool guy. Today I noticed that he and I weren't friends anymore on FB and I wasn't seeing his posts and I wasn't able to find his page. I happen to have another FB account (novelty) and decided to see what the deal was and I am clearly able to find him and see his posts on my other account, so it is very clear that he has blocked me.
So, it's pretty obvious to me that there is something going on between them, but I'm wondering what everyone else thinks? The other thing is that it's hard to tell with her because majority of her friends are guys, and she can be quite endearing to them even if she has no romantic feelings towards them. Should I confront her about it? She told me she wasn't interested in anyone but if there's something happening there then she straight up lied to me and I can't stay friends with her if that's the case. | GF broke up with me and told me that she wasn't interested in anyone else, but is spending a lot of time with a mutual friend who now has blocked me on FB. Should I confront her about it? |
t3_457ibo | personalfinance | Mortgage loan originator will lose commission if I refinance my mortgage within 6 months. What's my liability exposure here? | I purchased my first home less than 6 months ago, and financed the purchase with a mortgage loan that I obtained through a mortgage broker. Rates have dropped significantly since that then, (I estimate greater than ~.6% from my current rate) , which could save me potentially over $150/month. Original mortgage broker tells me that if the loan is refinanced within 6 months of getting the loan, then he gets charged back the entire commission that he received from the lender for my loan. I do not recall this ever being disclosed or explained to me when I was getting the loan, and I'm a first time home buyer so I wouldn't know any better. I don't want to roll the dice to see if rates stay the same or drop after 6 months pass when I can do something now that would make such a financial difference my family and me, i.e., permanently reducing my payment by possibly over $150/mo. No doubt I would feel bad about the mortgage broker being charged back commission if I refi'd now... I have no idea how much money that would cost him, but at the same time I do not recall this ever being disclosed to me while I was getting the loan through this broker, and I feel as though knowing this would have made a difference in the decisions I made when I made my original purchase and financing decisions. Furthermore, Page 1 of my Closing Disclosure says there are no prepayment or balloon payment penalties, and that was something I absolutely required as a clause on my loan. I signed a ton of forms though during closing, and I don't know if there was anything in there about a penalty to me for refinancing within the first 6 months as a result of the broker losing commission, however, the prevailing thought in my mind at this moment is that I need to do what's best for my family and think of them first.
Looking for some help and advice. Is this a common issue that comes up in real estate finance? Do I have any liability to the original mortgage broker if I refinance now? Loan is in California. Thanks. | Mortgage loan originator will lose his commission if I refinance my mortgage within 6 months. If I refinance anyways, can I be sued for anything? What's my liability exposure in this situation? |
t3_kolxj | AskReddit | As a redditor who went to college before everyone had laptops I have a question. | I see all these pictures of every kid on a laptop during class. What the hell do you need a laptop for? To take notes? Isn't it distracting to have all those laptops where you could see them? I would spend the whole class looking at everyones screens. How does the proffesor know your just not on Reddit? Is it just over kill. Related Story, a buddy of mine who was in the army for the last decade just went back to school. Showed up first day of class took out his notebook and pencil and realized he was the only person in the whole class not on a computer. This was in a huge lecture hall. | I am not that old, but how do laptops work in a classroom setting? I took notes with a pencil like a caveman. |
t3_1nxfui | relationships | My [26F] boyfriend [36M] of 7 months said something a week ago that I can't stop thinking about. Red flag? | I was in the passenger seat as my boyfriend (we'll call him Chad) was driving us to a dinner another couple was hosting. I started chit-chatting about it being the first of the month and that paying rent sucks and being an adult is not fun when rent's due. He agreed nodded his head and then dropped this bomb on me: "You could just not pay them. Your bills. That's what I always do. If I can't pay I just don't. I come first, you know? You have to look out for your number one." I was in complete shock and asked about his credit, how he thinks he's going to ever sign another lease or purchase a home, car etc. He said, "Ehh I'll figure it all out by then."
A bit of relevant backstory: He's currently living with me (most of the time) or his parents until he lands a suitable job and can start paying off his 80K in student loans. He just graduated with his JD last May. When he goes out, and he goes out a lot, he doesn't pay for anything, his friends always do.
Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? | My boyfriend doesn't think bills need to be paid on time. He has 80K in student loan debts and lives at home because he has no income. Wondering what it would mean for our future. |
t3_pq67w | dating_advice | Totally a dork with the whole "dating" thing. I need some real advice. | I am a 21yo female and I've never had a boyfriend. I used to be in love with the guy for over 4 years but he just used me as emotional support and lead me on. I've dated (if you could consider it that- we were more friends than anything) about 3 or 4 guys in my lifetime. This included just hanging out and not for very long, 3 "dates" tops. I'm not ugly or anything. People tell me that I'm pretty all the time and I dress moderately well.
The guy that I was in love with told me I was intimidating several times because of my intelligence. I really care about school, education and my favorite topics are philosophy, physics, and art history.
I'm also an introvert. I'm not the most outgoing person on the planet. I like going to museums, the opera, and cafes way more than clubs. And it takes me a while to open up to people if I don't know them although I never try to be rude.
Well, I never had a boyfriend and it sometimes freaks me out because I'm kind of "late" in this department. I've also never been kissed.
Well... I really like this guy in my class. We've ended up sitting together a few times and we've ended up talking. It seems like we have several things in common. I think he's really nice, intelligent, interesting, and he's very attractive.
I just don't know what to do. I do like him. And I haven't liked anyone really for over two years after the whole debacle with the guy who lead me on. I'm also really shy about these things. I don't feel like I have the confidence that most people would have because I don't even know what I'm doing and I second guess myself all the time.
Please, any advice would be great. | I'm a somewhat shy nerdy intellectual who's never had a bf but currently has developed a crush and I don't know what to do. |
t3_31o43a | relationships | Me [22 F] with my ex [27 M] duration, on/off 2 years-In a bit of a Long Distance predicament... | Throwaway account!
So my now ex-bf and I broke up a couple of days ago, one of the main reasons was because I moved to a different part of the country at the beginning of the year and long distance just was not making either one of us happy at all.
I made the decision to move after we had broken up last summer. I had just graduated school and felt like it was an opportunity to experience something different. We started seeing each other again about a month and a half before I left, and then decided to continue our relationship while I was away (original plan was to stay for 1 year). I found a retail job soon after I moved out here and then another job (in my field of study) that I work remotely at. The start-up (remote job) is located back where I moved from and is growing at a rapid pace. My boss has offered me a full time position but wants me to move back within the next couple of months. Honestly, this is a really great opportunity and I am seriously considering it. I originally moved to get my career started and ironically found this job back home.
My now ex-bf and I ended our relationship 2 days ago and I just got this news today. I wouldn't make the decision to move back based on the hopes that we will get back together, but I am wondering if I should talk to him about it and see if we would be able to re-kindle our relationship...
In the past we have broken up due to timing issues and I just need advice on if this is just not meant to be/what I could even say...
sorry for any formatting issues, this is my first post. | LD BF and I broke up a couple of days ago. I was just offered a great opportunity back home and would possibly move back in a couple of months. Should I try to re-kindle or just let it be... |
t3_459v7g | relationships | Me [22 M] with [22 F] She doesn't want to talk anymore | I was messaging this amazingly cute girl and we seemed to be a perfect match for each other but she stopped messaging me out of the blue and so I ended up messaging her 5 times with no response. She finally got back to me basically saying that messaging her so much was creepy and obsessive. K asked her if I fucked up and she told me, its not really that I fucked up if thats just who I am but our conversation is over.
I'm pretty heartbroken over this and I don't know what I can do, if abything.
I want to continue talking to her but she obviously doesnt want to talk to me.
What do I do? | cute girl doesn't want to talk to me after messaging her too much. I know I fucked this up. What can I do to get her back or get over this? |
t3_2bosat | relationships | I [22 M] flicked through Girlfriend [21F] of 6 months' messages on her phone, feel guilty, what to do? | My GF (R) and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months now, we took it slow to begin with because she broke up with her ex BF of 4 years at the start of December.
I have a bad track record with being cheated on (3/3) and therefore have particularly bad trust issues, but I haven't had these problems with R because I have worked hard on my ability to put my trust into honest people that I care about.
To cut a long story short though, despite what I just said, I have been having bad anxiety this week about feeling unloved/unwanted by my friends, and last night I briefly looked at R's messages on her phone, I feel seriously guilty for this and see it as a breach of her privacy (which it is).
I didn't open any conversations except one, involving her ex, I only read one message, the first of the conversation, I spent no longer than 5 seconds just to scroll up to see when it was from (Monday), and when the last time before that was, which was in May, but there were lots of messages and they were quite long, I hope that they were just catching up etc. but what caught my attention was that R had instigated the conversation by texting 'I miss you x'.
Now I don't know where I stand, I feel guilty about looking in the first place, I feel confused about what I saw, and I feel upset that she is sending messages like that this far into our relationship, and although she has never given me reason to mistrust her, I'm finding it hard not to feel insecure about this.
Do I confess and apologise for looking through her phone and ignore what I saw? Do I ask her about the messages? Or do I not mention it and try my best to forget it happened? | Made a mistake by looking through GF's phone, and found GF texting 'I miss you x' to exBF - what to do? |
t3_1ay2ku | relationships | [24 M] I made a mistake with [24 F], what do I do? | **Overall Story:** So I used to hook up randomly a lot and get wasted often too, I didnt enjoy it though. My gf comes along and makes me a better person, I also drink less. I absolutely adore this girl, and I want to marry her. However, I fucked up right before the relationship officially began, I hooked up with the girl who was my lifelong crush. I realized I didnt like her, and thats why I actually asked my girlfriend out officially: I realized I only wanted her. Several months later, I fell deeply in love with her (goes both ways), and this memory is nibbling away at me. She's always had a bad view of cheaters, and her definition of cheating is broader than mine (as in if i see another girl after a second date with a first girl its cheating). In my mind, it wasnt official and I was allowed per se, but in hers it would be cheating and she would not only be mad, she would be emotionally crushed, and maybe never trust me again. Also were not in the same city right now, so its not exactly easy going, and I feel this could break it. | My gf changed me into a better person, but I fucked up one last time. What option do I choose? |
t3_3bx321 | relationships | Me [20M] don't know whether I should wait or pursue a relationship now. | So this has been something I've been going back and forth about to ask. For a good reason too, but it depends on the person and their view because I think there are many ways to go about it. This is why ill be asking my favorite community on the Internet (being Reddit).
I'd like to think I'm a nice guy and I try to be my best version of myself, in most aspects. This is what I believe is the core "problem" in this topic. I'm currently not in a relationship and I can't pull myself into one because I feel like I wouldn't be able to hold onto it too well. Let me elaborate! I believe I'm a good guy, value the right things and am the boyfriend material type, but I wouldn't feel comfortable going into a relationship at my current state. I have a job, have a good idea about education and my future career but currently do not own a vehicle which very well could help. The question is, am I missing out not throwing myself out there and trying now while im young? I also believe in long term relationships so I wouldn't dare myself to try to go for anything less than that. | I don't feel comfortable in my current state to pursue a relationship. Especially without a car. Should I try anyways? |
t3_lvpcd | relationship_advice | Okay Reddit, here's my love story. | I'm 20, female and I live in Ohio. I've met this amazing guy. We share all of the same interests, we think the same way/have the same goals in life. We just get each other and click so well. We talk for hours every night on Skype, and I am really starting to like him. He likes me too. I can't stop thinking about him.
Problem is, he's 17 and in Florida.
We met on Omegle in early July. After seeing the hilarity omegle can ensue on Reddit, I decided to try it for myself. We ended up talking for hours and exchanging contact information. It wasn't until a couple days after that I found out he was 17. No big deal, he was just a friend. After months of talking I think I am really starting to fall for him. The fact that he lives in Florida is not a problem, since I coincidentally was already planning on attending Uni there after getting my associates here.
He is very mature for his age and is already attending college.
Has anyone ever dated someone much younger than them? I really need some advice. Wondering what troubles I'll run into. I don't know how to go about this. I'm afraid of how my parents and friends will react. I am much more worried about what his parents will think.
Also, he is Asian (Filipino/Chinese). American born, so are his parents. I am white/middle eastern. Not sure if his parents are going to hate me because I'm not Asian, let alone because I'm 20. I'm going to meet him and his parents this upcoming Veteran's Day weekend, I'm driving all the way down there. Is there anything I should definitely NOT do, or should do?
Is this a little crazy? I can't really help how I feel about him. I sort of feel like a pedophile. I really need some advice, guys. | I'm a white 20 year old girl and I like an asian 17 year old guy. Is it right, will it work? |
t3_2qyina | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [22 F] 1.5 years, doesn't want me going with her to see family | My GF has been with her parents on a vacation for a month and we haven't gotten to spend any holidays together. I've seen her family only twice since we've dated. She's coming back in 2 weeks and just told me today that I "might want to look at flights because they have some cheap deals," and that she wanted to visit her grandparents (who are very ill).
I told her I'd love to go with her (and even offered to pay) and see her grandparents. Last time I saw them, we got along really well and they told me to come visit.
She told me that she wanted to take the trip alone and have a couple days to herself, and gave me no explanation why except that she "wasn't trying to offend me" and thought telling me she made plans without me would be better than just going and not letting me know. I don't really understand this.
I told her that I'd be there for her support and that I haven't seen her family in awhile...then she said she didn't want me to come because they're so sick...and I said it's no worry, I would love to help take care of them. Then she told me they don't need to be taken care and they're not that sick but she would rather I come when they aren't ill...that she is just going to be visiting and "going shopping" and stuff like that.
She said she wants to go with me when we can go longer than two days...but I told her I can't really take a whole week off work and two days is the perfect time (flights are only 20 bucks for that weekend too). Also, she's going literally right after she gets back from her vacation.
She made the plans a few weeks ago and didn't tell me about it until now...which I also don't understand. I kinda have hurt feelings, and she really gave me no other explanation than "I'm not hurting you. I just want to go alone." | GF has been on vacation and wants to take a trip to see her grandparents right when she gets back, doesn't want me to go. |
t3_ocebh | AskReddit | What's your worst on the move fapping story? NSFW | In a car, boat, plane, train etc. And I supposed i'll get this started. (If this has already been done I apologize for copying someone.
Let me take you back to my freshman year of high school. Obviously being a 15 year old boy my hormones are having world war three in my body. I fapped 2-3 times daily and was finding more ways to make it thrilling. Well, during my endeavors to find the next best thrill, my parents informed me that we were taking a train ride to my grandparents house. This was the opportunity I had been waiting for; I got to planning. I devised a plan to start in my chair, but finish in the bathroom as to avoid a mess. Easy enough I told myself, but oh was I wrong.
The day finally came and we boarded the train to leave. As we get to our seats I begin examining how I would pull this off. It looked easy enough, the seats all faced the same way, which was unusual for trains but worked for my situation. Luckily the train was not very full so I had the two seat row to myself, save the people across the walking aisle to my left. I sat down and began my wait. At the time I had an Ipod Touch that I had loaded up with some good bits of porn. So about 45 minutes into the ride I got to it. I plugged up the headphones, pulled my jacket over my lap and started going at it. After a good 5-10 minutes of straight fapping I realized I needed to check my escape route (the bathroom) and see if it was clear. But to my chagrin it was occupied, and worse yet there were two other people waiting to get in. At this point I begin to panic as I have nowhere to blow my load in peace. Thinking quickly I take off my sock, dawn it on my member, and keep on going like a champ. As I finish up in what I thought was a glorious victory, I look to my left and notice the elderly couple laughing to themselves and taking quick peaks at me. Knowing this I quickly put my sock under my seat, put my shoe back on and pretend to watch videos on my Ipod the rest of the trip | I went on a trip via train and fapped while and elderly couple watched, then left the sock under my seat where I assume it still may be. |
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