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t3_1bva1a | Advice | Dad goes through my room? [female] | So, this has been occurring for quite some time, with no end in sight. It's gotten a bit overbearing now, and well, let me tell you the story.
Quite some time ago, my mom and dad got divorced. Before that, it was my mom going through my room. It annoyed me -- but she's female, not too bad. Once she left, my dad started doing it. It was only occasional and was more like taking out my trash and opening the blinds.
For the past couple of years now, its been him moving stuff around, throwing away things he "thinks" is trash (but really, it isn't), and literally going through my room like he's looking for something specific. Now, this should be noted that I'm not one to clean up my room, so I have bras and underwear lying around. Literally there have been times when I have set a couple of bras right there on my bed, completely visible to someone going into my room, yet he still went into my room.
And now it's occurring every time I leave the house. Even for a couple of hours. It's really starting to creep me out, to the point where I can't be around him because I feel violated in a sense that he's basically seen my all of my undergarments.
I've tried talking to him. Every time it's happened, I've come to him asking him to stop and not do it and explaining why. And he completely ignores me to the point that I go back into my room feeling completely shitty, ignored, and as I mentioned, slightly violated to the point that it's made me cry on more than a few occasions (should also be noted that I hardly cry).
Does anyone have any advice on how to make this stop, please? I can't handle this anymore. | Father continues to go through the stuff in my room regardless of the fact that it makes me angry and violated because I leave undergarments laying out. Need help trying to get him to stop. |
t3_2o1yva | relationships | He [22m] giving me [21f] the wrong vibes | I've been talking to this guy for about two months now. We met through mutual friends.
We've went out on double dates with friends, hung out alone, he's brought me around his friends and we've slept together.
Obviously from all this, I thought this would possibly progress into something more. However, my friend said he has no interest in having a girlfriend and he just wants to be friends.
What I don't understand is why he's treating it like me are more than just friends. Should I be careful in this situation or not bother to no longer pursue this guy? | talking to a guy for two months. Seemed to be progressing towards something more. Turns out he has no interest in having a girlfriend. What to do? |
t3_2eempf | tifu | TIFU by mixing preworkout with liquor | This happened last night.
My best friend was driving two hours to come down for a night of indulgence. We began drinking around nine o'clock, starting out with some fireball. We finished the pint fairly quickly, and began downing some Jager that someone had left at my house. Finishing that off we grabbed the quart of fireball from my fridge. This is where I began fucking up. We took the quart outside and decided to try to climb some trees. My friend is nimbler than I am, and he decides to climb the big red oak in the front of our yard. I know I can't climb the trunk, so I grab a chair and grab onto the lowest branch and begin swinging towards the trunk. I weigh 200 lbs. The branch didn't support 200 lbs. I fall down, gravity making me into it's bitch. My ribs still hurt today.
After this incident I felt a little woozy and tired. We go inside to relax for a bit but decide we needed a pick-me-up. Lo and behold my preworkout was sitting on the table. I picture this as a scene from Blue Mountain State where the camera zooms in on the preworkout, back to our faces, and a fucked up montage happens from here on out. We do some preworkout-fireball shots. From this point I remember nothing.
I woke up the next morning naked on my couch with my girlfriend yelling at me that I shit myself. I am COVERED in feces. All I could do was say "I shit myself" over and over again. It was on my legs, my back, my chest, my arms. This has never happened to me before, and I don't plan on letting it happen again. | TIFU by mixing preworkout with liquor, shitting all over myself, and having my girlfriend find me in the morning. Still haven't decided what to do with the couch. Open to suggestions. |
t3_4d2j0y | relationships | Me F 35 with my M36 five years, need help with an in-law issue. Mother in law is a healthy, active 70. | I'm having trouble finding common ground with my mother-in-law, and it seems that everything I do pisses her off. She's an old-school farm country grandma, and I'm a Biology major who lives for nature. She peppers me with questions like "Why don't we just poison all snakes?" and "Why do we even need bears?" "What kind of music do you like? I only listen to country" and comments that seem designed to make me feel like the outsider "I hate to wear dresses" When I'm wearing a dress. No matter how I answer, she's clearly pissed and makes dismissive and withering comments until I wander off or change the subject.
I never know how to respond, and I'm completely puzzled as to why she seems offended by differing opinions. It feels as though she enjoys drawing a line between us, and I'm constantly on guard. I love her son and must visit often with my daughter/her granddaughter, so I'm stuck.
What advice have you? Do I lie to keep the peace, or is there a diplomatic way to handle these queries?
Bonus psychology question: if any of you readers feel this way, can you please articulate how or why a difference of opinion or style negatively affects your mood or feelings?
We're nearing a blow-out, so I could really use some practical help here. For the record, I don't give a damn what music or style anyone else dresses in, and I'm totally cool if someone else's interests or hobbies vary from mine. I'm beginning to actively loathe her, and that's not going to be good for my marriage or my child. She's only decent to people who kiss her ass and suck up, and I'm deeply bothered by this attitude. | can't get along with my mother-in-law who seems to require complete agreement on every topic in order to be kind. We have nothing in common. How do I make nice? |
t3_2f6eh0 | relationship_advice | I [20/f] am falling in love with a lovely boy [23/m], but he is not really ready for a relationship, and that scares me. | So, last April I have met this guy. By the time I had a relationship, so I really did not look at him that way, although I found him cute. He started texting me straight away, almost every day, and sometimes I did answer (in a friendly way). After I broke up with my ex, I accepted to go out on a date with him, and it was lovely. We had another date after a month or so, had to sleep at his place because he lives 50 minutes by car from me, and we did not do anything but kissing, because he said that he wanted to get me know better, and sex might have changed the way he saw me. Fair enough. I had to leave the country for two months, during which we texted every day, most of the times intensively. When I was back, we met up of course, and we were kind of getting there.. But then I asked him if this might change things still. And he said that he really really likes me, but now he feels confused, because rationally he does not want a relationship (he has broken up about a year ago with a girl he has been 7 years with), but he does not want to lose me, and he can't imagine not having me in his life anymore. Since our date, which was 3 days ago, he had become even sweeter, if possible, and now I am getting scared. I know by now that he likes me a lot, but I am afraid that all this sweetness will make me fall for him even more. If he is accepting to wait before having sex, keeps texting me and seeing me although he knows we won't be having sex (at least for now..), and keeps saying how much he misses me and how much he feels like his feelings are mixed up, do you think I've got a chance, even small, to end up being considered a potential new girlfriend by him? | I am falling in love with a guy who seems to like me a lot, but is not ready for a relationship yet, and I am wondering if I've got any chances with him. |
t3_1szxlb | relationships | I[22M] promised my girlfriend [22F] that I would stop watching porn, and now I'm having regrets about it. | English isn't my first language, so apologies for any grammar mistakes.
We have been together for about 9 months, and have always been very open about everything. She knew fairly soon that I watched porn and said she was fine with that. We have an amazing sex life together, and still have sex almost daily.
A couple months ago she found some links I had saved from porn subreddits on my phone and got very mad about it. She felt that if I looked at porn, that meant our sex life wasn't enough for me. I tried explaining that porn could never be a substitute for her, that it was just something different I could enjoy on my own, and eventually she said she didn't understand that, but would respect that looking at porn was my own choice.
A couple of weeks ago she suddenly brought the subject up again and said that she just couldn't handle me watching porn. After a couple of arguments and some very long talks I decided that if this truly was such an issue for her, that I could go without it. The compromise was that she would sent me more sexy/nude pictures of her, so I could use those when I masturbated.
The last couple of days I've really regretted my decision. I feel a bit resentful about it, and feel like I've given in to a demand by her, even though I made this choice myself. I feel like I could never make her understand that porn isn't threatening to her or our sex life, but I dont want to feel resentful towards her. And I don't want to watch porn behind her back while I made her this promise. I just don't know what I should do. | I promised my girlfriend that I would stop watching porn because it was a huge issue for her, now I'm having regrets. What do I do? |
t3_r07xu | AskReddit | So you go out, speak the foreign language you've learned, and find out nobody says whatever it is you learned in class. In fact, people laugh at you. What are some things you only learned when speaking a language for real? | I'm a student from a small country where people are used to learning foreign languages. I've studied and gotten to use my languages with actual native speakers quite a bit, and one of the small things I love is noticing how differently languages are spoken compared to how they're taught in an academic setting.
Example: in high school everyone's mostly taught British English here, using all sorts of rules. One of those rules was that 'sick = nausea, vomiting; ill = a disease.' Then, when interacting with actual English-speakers (or American English-speakers at any rate), you find out that everyone just uses sick for everything and saying "I am ill" is tantamount to admitting you have cancer.
Another example: in Spanish, I was taught proper grammar and punctuation. In particular, to start questions with ¿ (inverted question mark). Turns out, nobody in Spain ever uses that thing, ever, in everyday Facebook conversations and chats. I was told my putting it everywhere like a good boy was "cute."
Reddit, have you ever had an experience where you found out what you were taught was not the norm? Or have you ever corrected foreign speakers, telling them nobody ever said something like they just did, chuckling slightly but helping them prevent future mockery? | a language you learn in school is taught using rules that native speakers hardly ever use, if they even know them at all. How have you messed up using these rules, instead of how the language is actually spoken? |
t3_3fvqfx | relationships | [18M] How do I best move in for the kiss with a pretty shy [18F]? | So this was one of those used-to-kinda-be-friend things that escalated from acquaintance to dating -- we've known each other for a while and now we talk every day (mostly snapchat) and ofc have gone on a few dates by now (2 days ago most recently).
After the last one, she said we should meet up again soon, so I invited her over for lunch (I'm cooking) and she suggested we watch titanic together. I'm not *that* experienced, but this seems to me like a pretty damn good opportunity to seal it.
The thing is, she's pretty shy (but mostly just in larger crowds, not so much with me alone) and has admitted she thinks she has social anxiety to an extent. For example, she blows kisses and hearts and asks for shirtless pics on snapchat, but seems a lot more shy and timid when we go out together (but then loosens up as the night/day goes on).
It's not my first kiss, but the girls I've been with have been much more open and straightforward, so I guess I need more finesse here. I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's her first. I was thinking of just starting by putting my arm around her during the movie and seeing where it goes from there.
Any advice would be appreciated, thanks! | how do I first-kiss a shy, slightly anxious girl that I've been dating without making it awkward for her? |
t3_3iqpo1 | tifu | TIFU by thinking my dog wasn't going to pull through [NSFW] | Just happened about 2 hours ago, I'm sitting at my laptop with red eyes and full of regret. To start off, I was sitting out back on my porch enjoying nature and browsing reddit on my phone when I heard a thump, which was quite loud and car tires hauling as they sped across gravel (keep in mind that I live on 11 acres and live right by a church) so I get up thinking that one of the church's band members ran over a turtle or hit a squirrel on their way to band practice at the church, and as I'm rounding the corner I see my dog laying there, panting, with a horribly disfigured leg. I flip shit and run up to her and kneel down by her and notice part of her ribs are caved in, I can hear her whining in pain. Dumbass me thinks she's going to die and I better put her out of her misery so I run inside with tears running down my face and grab my 700 sps then run back outside. I kiss my dog on the snout and turn my head and pulled the trigger. I immediately started crying my eyes out and lay down by my dead dog and start stroking her back thinking that it will do something. Well my girlfriend who's a vet and dog groomer runs out because she heard the shot and saw my dog and I lying there, in the middle of the road. She ran over to me and asked me what the fuck happened, so I explained to her in between giant shaken breaths with a quivering lip. So after I spill my guts out she hugs me and says all will be fine and wills me to go inside and rest while she buries my little puppy. After 30 minutes she comes back inside and tells me this exactly "you didn't have to shoot glamos, she only broke her legs and fractured some ribs, nothing she wouldn't live through" then she turned around and walked into the bathroom and took a shower. I then literally cried myself to sleep and contemplated breaking up with her for her not sparing those facts. | shot my dog in the head after it was hit by a car to later find out she would've lived through it. |
t3_hd6x9 | Cooking | Cooking an anniversary dinner tomorrow and would love some suggestions.... | Tomorrow is my husband's and my 2nd anniversary. We are celebrating later in the week by going to dinner and a concert, but I still wanted to make a nice dinner tomorrow. We went to the store today with just about no plan and got a very random assortment of things (not the most economical way to shop....oops).
We got
* 2 beautiful tuna steaks
* local, thick-cut, applewood smoked bacon
* fresh brussel sprouts
* forbidden rice (Chinese black rice)
I found a recipe for [Tuna Tataki Salad] that looks really tasty that I'm thinking of doing, and then maybe making the forbidden rice on the side. But I feel like I should dress up the rice a little if I do that. I found [this] recipe for the rice, but I'm not always the best at knowing what dishes will pair well with each other.
My husband really liked the idea of the tuna steaks with little seasoning (so as not to overpower the tuna), brussel sprouts with bacon, and the forbidden rice on the side. I keep getting turned off by brussel sprouts this time of year. I feel like they are a winter/fall vegetable, although I do love them. I don't feel like bacon and brussel sprouts go well with tuna.
I'd love to make an appetizer, salad, and main course, but I'm just not getting any good ideas. I'm all over the place. I would love any suggestions! I'm planning on heading to the grocery store tomorrow for whatever other produce I need, and I have a pretty well stocked pantry. | I have a strange list of ingredients (see above) that I'd like to use for an anniversary dinner, and I'm too scatterbrained to focus! |
t3_fin1j | AskReddit | My coworker/close friend is being fucked over but I don't know how to help. Please help me... | I work for one of the biggest pharmacies in America, on the retail side of things, and have been doing so for over a year now. I've gotten to know my coworkers as well as my family. One in particular, who has been with the company for over 15 years, has garnered a special place in my heart. She's become both a mother and a friend for me, and is one of the hardest workers I know.
The company I work for makes her drive 45 mins to an hour to my job every day, and for little pay. Like a lot of people she struggles with mortgage, mothering her two kids, and battling cervical cancer. Her physical health has been slowly getting worse but she has no choice but to come to work every day and do physical labor because she needs the money, and it breaks my heart...
She just found out that corporate is going to force her to another district, one that is a lot further away. Not to mention all the vacation she has accrued will be gone... She would have no choice to drive all that way because she just settled into a new house and moved her kids into the local schools. To top it off, shes not even sure how she's going to have money for this year since the company cut their medical plan and she has to pay her growing medical bills. I wish I could help her but I'm a broke college kid myself, the whole system is fucking retarded.
I don't know what to do. I'm half pissed off that someone who has worked so hard for this company, that already goes literally the extra mile for this company so she can provide a nice life for her kids is getting fucked, yet again. I also worry for her health and her emotional state..
How can I help reddit? Does she have any legal options? I could really use your imput because I wish I had the answer for her, but I'm at a loss.. Thanks in advance. | My coworker/close friend has cancer, and is being forced to travel a long way to a new district by corporate. She has no choice but to go because she needs the money for her two kids. What can she do? |
t3_50g2bm | relationships | I [20 M] can't help but feel a "grass is greener" mentality in my relationships | Yes I know, I'm 20. I'm young and admittedly stupid. But I've started noticing a pattern with my relationships. I haven't even had that many relationships. I've slept with five people in my life, and had an exclusive, "boyfriend-girlfriend" type of relationship with three of those women.
The pattern that keeps happening is that after a month or two go by, and I inevitably get bored, for lack of a better word, with my relationship. I start to wonder how the relationship would be with someone else. How much better it could be. I become despondent and introverted. I have a hard time talking about these feelings with my partners because I feel like it would really hurt them to say that I've been thinking about a new relationship.
The most troublesome thing to me is that it's not even a specific thing or person that starts to spark these feelings. it's not like I see an attractive girl at the gym or on campus and immediately start fantasizing about her. Instead, I'm fantasizing about some sort of ideal partner that's entirely in my head. It's no specific person, just a collection of idea about how the perfect girl and all the fun things we'd do together that for whatever reason me and my current girlfriend aren't doing. And it's not crazy impossible things like exploring the world, it's stupid inside jokes that me and this imaginary partner would have. Little minutia like that is what I imagine.
I worry that this "dream girl" of mine is too good to be true. I don't know if I believe soul mates exist but in my imagination they do I'm afraid that if I keep having these thoughts I'll never settle down with someone in real life because I'll always be searching for THE One.
I don't know if I should keep moving from relationship to relationship until I finally feel whatever "it" is that I'm looking for or if when I start having these sorts of thoughts I should try to make it work with the person I'm actually with. | Whenever I get into a relationship, I inevitably start to wonder if the things could be better with someone else. I'm scared it'll always be like this and I'll never find The One. |
t3_2lwzdr | relationships | My boyfriend never initiates sex | I [24, F] am having issues with my boyfriend [28, M] because he never initiates sex, any kind of sex. We've been dating [7yrs.]. I have talked to him about it twice before and even told him what I like while we're in bed. He just sort of goes "Okay" and nothing ever changes. Even if I start it and then stop completely after getting him turned on, he won't keep it going. I hate this so much that I decided to go on a strike to see how long he can go. 》》Everyone was taking this to mean that i was upfront and telling him that we werent having sex. NOT the case, and I would never do that to him. I should've called it an experiment because that's what it actually was. He didn't know about this "strike" and he still doesn't know. All I meant was that I was withholding all of my advances towards him in order to see when he chose to approach me for sex. Since this went on for months, it started this whole mess.《《 I can't even remember the last time we had sex. It has to be months and he hasn't even come close to making a move. I know for a fact hes not cheating on me. We live together and he works across the street from me and we're both home by 5:00pm every day. Anyone know what this means and do you guys think I should break up with him? | My boyfriend of 7 years never makes the first move, despite my trying to help him out. I went on a sex strike and it back fired, it's been months. Should I end it? What do you think this means? |
t3_tb2zl | AskReddit | What's one time you've had to re-evaluate a snap judgment - or, basically, learn not to judge a book by its cover? | Here's the first one that comes to my mind.
For a while I dated this guy who was really, really into the paganism/magick/etc kinda thing - which tripped me up a bit, because I'm a pretty strict agnostic atheist materialist. But I decided to go with it, listen, ask questions, and figure out *why* it appealed to him, and why it was important to his life.
I think my moment of mental shift was one day when we were showering after sex and I noticed this string of bells hanging from his bathroom door.
"What's that?" I asked him.
"Oh," he said, "those are spelled up like crazy. They're to stop anything bad from entering my room. You'll see there's another set on my bedroom door."
"But," I said, "the only entrance to your bathroom is through your bedroom. If you have those on your bedroom door, why do you have them here, too?"
He looked at me like I was crazy. "There's a big huge mirror *right there*."
Ah - I realized - and the mirror could be an entryway for something too.
That was when I realized that this wasn't just a slapdash set of rituals. When I started actually examining his beliefs, I found a systematic organization of thought that was internally consistent - just based on a different set of starting premises than mine. I realized as well that it did not have a major effect on the pragmatics of his life; its primary purpose was to reduce his stress level so that he could function well in other areas of his life without worrying about things he couldn't control. | I realized that my boyfriend's pagan practices weren't just ridiculous play-acting, but actually an internally consistent system that obeyed its own rules and functioned for its own purposes |
t3_44o3sp | relationships | I think my [24 F] boyfriend [30 M] hooked up with my sister [21] | All three of us were drunk and crashed on the same bed. My boyfriend was in the middle. Around 3:30am I hear both of them moving around and something crackling like a condom wrapper. My sister is making all these weird moaning sounds and my boyfriend who usually snores as he sleeps was obviously awake. I begin to feel super confused and whats going on and next thing I know my sister leaves the room. THEN he gets up and follows her out the door. I wait a couple minutes and go out to confront them. She is laying down on the sofa and he is peeing in the bathroom. I ask them what the hell was going on and he said he just got up to pee and she stays silent on the sofa.
Am I being super paranoid? I just think its bizarre I think they're hooking up and next thing I know they're both following each other out the room. For context, my sister is super conservative and does not sleep around or hook up with random guys ever. They have both told me they don't find each other attractive as well. Please put my mind at ease reddit! | Paranoid my sister and bf hooked up each other while I was on the same bed as them. Super disgusted. |
t3_p66zl | dating_advice | How do women react to erectile dysfunction? | Girl (22) and I (23) have been dating for about a month, for a total of 6 or 7 dates.
Last night we went out to grab a beer, came back to my place and began to have sex for the first time with each other. Everything started off fine, but I started to get in my head a little too much and lost my erection mid-sex.
We kept making out for a while, and I think she could tell I was pissed off at myself for it and said not to worry.
I've read the other posts about not thinking about it and just moving on. My question is about what the female perspective is like when something like this happens.
Is this a disappointment?
Dealbreaker for the relationship?
How would you prefer the guy to act going forward? Do I bring it up? Pretend like nothing happened?
I'm really into this girl, which I think contributed to the problems, and I have the feeling she has just been going along with it to see how things play out. I'm nervous that this will screw things up from here. Ladies of reddit, what's your experience/thoughts on this? And how do you prefer men to act in these situations? | Really like this girl, had sex with her first time and lost erection mid sex. Will this ruin my chance of taking things forward? and how should I react with her? |
t3_szh38 | AskReddit | I've been accused of plagiarism on a semester long investigative report and it is 100% my group members' fault. | At the beginning of this semester I was paired with a one other person (complete strangers) to complete an investigative report that would carry 40% of my grade in the class.
Last week we submitted the final copy and gave our final presentation. I received an email today from my Professor stating that after reviewing the report she found an entire section of plagiarized material. She has stated that we have failed the report and is writing a report of flagrant plagiarism that will go onto both mine and his permanent records.
After i reviewed the parts of the report in which my professor said violated plagiarism i found that my partner (who has been a nightmare to work with this entire semester) used several articles on wikipedia and cited them under another source. He did so due to being lazy and the fact that wikipedia was not a valid source in which we could use.
Now I face not only a failing grade in the class, but a permanent mark on my record of a violation in plagiarism.
I have a meeting with my professor this week. And will also most likely have a meeting with the judicial board to discuss further punishment.
The majority of our work has been through google docs and i dont know if there is any real way to prove what pieces of the report are mine vs his.
What can i do to prove that I am not responsible for the acts of plagiarism throughout the report, and hopefully get all of this straightened out? | In danger of failing a class and facing permanent marks on my record for plagiarism due to my partners negligence to use viable sources for a report. |
t3_40h7nj | relationships | I am 23F and have never managed to have a close non-romantic friendship with a guy. How can I fix it? | I have two brothers and yet I have never had a close friendship with a guy. With most people it's either just never gotten past peripheral (or context-dependent) friendship, and the times when it has gotten past that it's either turned out he fancies me and then turned awkward, or we've actually ended up together. (And then broken up. And then turned awkward).
I feel like I'm missing out on some invaluable potential friendships by having this weird kind of social barrier.
Advice? Is anyone else having a similar experience? I'd love to be able to switch off whatever vibe I seem to be giving off. | Any friendship I have with a guy seems to turn romantic (at least on his side) when we get closer. I'd really like to have guy relationships other than just with dates/SO's - any advice will be appreciated. Thanks |
t3_2505h4 | relationship_advice | I know what I should do here, just itching to know what you think? | I'll try and be as brief as can be here.
I (20/M) met a girl (20/F) some time ago. We had already seen each other at some parties and other events, but were formally introduced something like 4 months ago.
We hit it off right away, we have so many things in common that I just let go off all doubts and let it flow (I'm usually very careful of whom I "fall in love" with). And that comes out nice, I even go to her house a couple times (invited by her, obviously..) meet her parents, hell I even cooked dinner for them, and I have to say they really liked me. All in all it was going incredibly well.
Then she dissapeared... I let her be for a day thinking she might be tied up with an exam or something alike and she needs her space. 2nd day goes by and I'm worried so I call her, no response. Leave her a text and the next day I get this: "Hey J, something I didn't expect happened..many things actually. And I just want to clear some things off my head before I talk to you again, can I have that space please?"
I completely respected that and gave her what she asked for, but after 2 weeks and a little too many drinks I texted asking what was wrong, never got a response.
As of now I have accepted that she doesn't want anything with me and I should move on, farewell. | Met girl, hit it off right away, meet parents, get along nicely, she dissapears, says: "Some unexpected things happened and I need to clear my mind", never appeared again. |
t3_kcrei | AskReddit | So I have this idea.. | Please, withstand with the backstory.
I've had a pet dog for a little over 14 years and my family and I take care of him with not too much difficulty. However, my parents both work and as my siblings and I go off to college, I know that it will be difficult for them to do things because they both work during the day. Since it wouldn't really be fair for him to be alone all day by himself, I was wondering if there is such thing as a nursing home for dogs. If not, does reddit think that it would be a good idea? To me it makes sense. Dogs get old just like people do. My dog's hips are starting to go and he is starting to revert back to a puppy, just not in a cute way (he pooped inside). Anyways, the dog nursing home could just be a relaxed place for dogs to go when they are old or when their owners simply can't afford to keep them and want them to have a better place to go than a shelter. Maybe there could be some sort of yearly fee to keep the place running. Well, that's about it.. It could be called 'Summer Camp.' | What does reddit think about a higher class dog shelter or 'nursing home?' It could be called Summer Camp. |
t3_1ogx9p | relationships | Just found out my dear friend (M24) who I've(F22) been infatuated with abused his authority position for sexual gratification. | Said friend and I were discussing our kind of taboo fetishes. When he was in college he was an RA for a coed dorm. He admitted to using his keys to break in to some of the girls' rooms and steal panties, and then, y'know, with them.
I played it off like I wasn't too freaked out. The panty thing doesn't bother me (I honestly find it hot), but the whole theft (especially of that nature) is pretty fucked up. He's always been an amazing, caring guy and this was a few years back before I knew him. He apologized for telling me, and guaranteed me he would never do it again. He clearly sensed the shift in our light and natural conversation.
I'm not really sure how to act at this point, or how to bring it up. Should I tell him that I find it quite a bit fucked up? Or just let it slide? | Friend stole panties from girls' rooms to wank with. Not sure whether or not to be freaked out. |
t3_23edmi | relationships | Me [24F] need advice about talking to my live-in BF [24 M] of almost 5 years about our sex life | My boy friend and I have been dating for almost 5 years and have lived together for 4. We have sex a few times a week, and I thought it was pretty good. Until last week …
I had never masturbated successfully until last week, and that's when I discovered what an orgasm really feels like. What I thought was an orgasm (what happens when I have sex) is not nearly as intense, maybe 1/4 of what I could do to myself. Now I obviously have to talk to my boyfriend about this. I just have no idea how to go about starting this conversation or how best to not damage his self-esteem in the process. Anybody go through something similar? any advice at all about the scenario in general? | have been having sex for years, just discovered what an orgasm actually feels like and that I have not been having them. How do I talk to my boyfriend about it? |
t3_362wfl | relationships | Don't know if I [19 M] can get with my friend [19 F] who slept with one of my friends. | This is a bit of a complicated one I guess and I don't want to come off as a complete dick.
I currently live away from home at college with some friends and one of my friends, Claire, has always been really close with me. Near the start of the year she went slightly reckless and slept with a lot of guys including a few people in our friend group. This doesn't really bother me, but when one of my good friends from back home came down to visit us she slept with him too.
Now flash forward a few months and (partially because of alcohol) we start sleeping together, it was kind of an on-and-off friends with benefits scenario for a while but recently we have got closer and even began to discuss getting together. The problem arises here, I don't mind that she has slept with people in our friend group because so have I (most of our friend group is like that), but whenever I see or speak to my friend from home who she slept with it makes me feel not right about everything; I don't know if it's because I have known him since birth or what.
So my question is: what do I do about these feelings? Am I being completely irrational? And either way is it worth mentioning these to my friend or just trying to get over this blip on my own? | Girl who I am thinking about getting in a relationship with slept with one of my friends a while ago, makes me feel strangely icky. Any help please reddit? |
t3_1tiacl | relationships | My boyfriend [42M] and I [23F] will be transitioning from a 4 year LDR into actually being together, and I am scared! | I met him when I was 19 years old. I have always been attracted to older men and we instantly hit it off despite him living completely across the country from me.
For the first 3 years we saw each other maybe 3-4 times per year, but we never dated exclusively.
Over the course of the last year we have gotten much more serious, to the point of deciding that we no longer wanted to see other people. I fly to see him every 6 weeks or so. He will be retiring from his job within the next year (don't know exactly when his job will let him go) and we talk about moving in together and settling down.
I love him so very dearly and I am afraid that we have been long distance for TOO long. Every time we are together it's like we are in a honeymoon phase. What if when we finally are together it doesn't work out? What if I have built it up to be such an amazing thing that neither one of us can actually live up to?
Any experience with long term long distance relationships transitioning into being together all the time? | In a 4 year LDR and within the next year we are going to be moving in together. Worried about the transition.. |
t3_1kbsd4 | relationships | Me [25/f] with my partner [29/m] of 2 years. He wants kids, I'm not so sure. | My partner and I have been together for nearly 2 years now and are planning on getting engaged within the next year. One of his stipulations with moving ahead in our relationship is knowing that we will have children in the future.
I have never been one to want kids, don't particularly like them, and haven't been around them since my (now 19 year old) younger brother was one. Boyfriend on the other hand, loves children and is not willing to compromise on this issue, which I don't think he should have to.
What I am wondering is: those of you who changed your minds about having kids, what changed? And when? I've always said that I want to want to have children. I've always expecting that maternal instinct/biological clock to kick in at some point. Its just concerning that at nearly 26, the idea of having them scares me now more than ever. People keep telling me that I will feel differently with my own, but that's a pretty big gamble to take.
I don't want to lead him on and tell him that pro-creating is something I'm willing to do if I'm still this unsure. Any personal experience in this situation would be so very appreciated. | Boyfriend wants kids one day, I'm not so sure. Any chance I may wake up one day with baby fever? |
t3_4r4bgh | relationships | My (23m) girlfriend (21f) kept me secret from her friends for almost a year, and then mocked me to them | My girlfriend Anne and I have been dating for just under a year now. Everything is going great, except for one issue. Until about two weeks ago, Anne hadn't told most of her friends that I exist. Those that she had told, she asked to not tell anyone else. This normally would be weird, but wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that she used to be obsessed with one of her friends, James, and another of her friends, Paul, has been obsessed with her for about 5 years now.
Two weeks ago, she finally told them about me, but only as a way to get Paul to stop asking her to live with him for next year. Obviously I was hurt that she had kept me secret from her friends, but I was relieved that she finally told them about my existence.
So all is good, right? Wrong. Today, Anne went on a day hike with her close friend (James, Paul, and two others who aren't super relevant to this story). When she got back from hiking, Anne texted me super happy saying that she talking about me with her friends. So I asked what they talked about, and her answer absolutely hurt me. Apparently, she just went on and on about how I eat super weird things, and how she feels like she has to cook her own food while she's with me because of how gross my food is. That's it. No redeeming stories or anecdotes. She just told them that I'm super weird in what I eat.
Now I currently feel like she said these things so as to not hurt Paul's feelings/ rule out the eventual possibility of being with James down the round by bragging about her current relationship.
Am I crazy to be upset and hurt by this? | My gf kept me secret from her friends, and then mocked my food preferences to them when she finally told them about me. I'm really hurt. |
t3_3g34nv | relationships | Me [21 F] with my __22_ M/F] ex boyfriend of 1.5 years, how to deal with strong feelings | I recently visited my ex boyfriend, *Sam, in his hometown for a few days. I had dated Sam for almost a year in college, and we broke up due the fact that he was graduating and he couldn't handle long distance. I had originally planned the trip just to tour the city for myself and meet up with other friends, but he invited me to stay at his house for the time I was there. I ended up having a wonderful time with him, and am now confused about how to proceed with the relationship.
Brief history with Sam: We were each other's first relationship. We broke up once after almost a year of dating, but ended up getting back together after the summer. The second time I got back together with him, I felt much more comfortable with the relationship. The same level of comfort applied to this trip, where we weren't even dating.
I would like to get back together with Sam, but he told me on the trip that he's not in a place to date right now, even though he has very strong feelings for me. He says he will most likely always care about me and does not want to date for a very long time if at all. (When I was at his house I saw that he had kept a lot of mementos from our relationship)
Sam is not the best at communicating when we're not together but says he loves hearing from me. I asked him if he wanted to call or text more frequently but he said that might seem like we're dating, which isn't something he's ready for. My question is now what should I do in terms of my feelings and communications. I obviously have strong feelings for Sam, and he says he would like to see me again. I will most likely have the opportunity to visit him twice in the upcoming months due to my travel schedule. Should I make an effort to stay in touch with him, or just let him go? How often should I stay in contact with him? I think a relationship with him might be possible at some point, but I'm still just so confused on how he can have such strong feelings but not want to date me. | How do deal with strong feelings for an ex who also has strong feelings for me but does not want to date at this point. |
t3_2plnst | relationships | Me (25) f with my boyfriend (25) together one year, not sure how to address pictures he keeps of his ex. | My boyfriend and I have been together a year, and it was briefly touched upon once a few months into dating that he keeps pictures of his ex on fb because those are his memories and his fb. He isn't wrong. I never would ask him what to have and not have on HIS facebook. What bothers me is his response to why he keeps them.
I don't feel he would ever cheat on me, and it's very likely that I am just insecure about it, but I just don't know how to tell him that it bothers me that he keeps those photos because they are his memories. I know it's his right and his memories...but is it necessary to keep them on social media for everyone to see, including his girlfriend. Why does he need to keep them anyway? I don't feel it's necessary to keep pictures up to remember my past and my memories.
I guess what I'm looking for reddit, is some advice on how to deal with this? Maybe tell me I am over thinking or over stepping my boundaries? Or that my feelings are justified and I should feel a little concerned? Any thoughts at all...how to bring this up to him without making it seem like a huge deal? Thanks.. | Together a year. Unsure how to bring up that it bothers me that he keeps pictures of his ex because "they are his memories." Worried and possibly just insecure, but looking for advice on how to address it. |
t3_s7h1a | AskReddit | A peruvian problem | So entering my second year at Uni, I meet a very kind and attractive woman from Peru. We spend most of first semester flirting with no one making major moves. Then a few weeks before the first semester of this year is over, I invite her over to my place to watch a movie; ultimately we would just make out for an hour and then go to sleep. She asks me some weird questions during as well, such as, "why do you like me?" (I'm hoping that it wasn't just an ego boost) Now on this occassion we had been drinking, so when I awake the next morning she tells me: "lets not tell anyone about this." Well I had liked her for a while so it was somewhat disheartening to hear that she didn't want to talk or tell anyone about what we had done. So we part ways for a while with minimal conversation for a few weeks, and then pick back up being friends. I was still a bit hurt and angry at myself for hooking up with her, because I believe it would ultimately destroy our chances at a relationship. A few weeks ago we hook up again, this time it is a bit more passionate but she continues to ask me the question: "Why do you like me?" and this time she asks "why haven't you asked me on a date yet?" Feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of this I said that we should stop, as we had only been hooking up while we were drunk and that I didn't think we could build a relationship (she would then go on to send me a message that night saying: Lets just forget about tonight, ou know i luv you but will never want to make things weird or awkward). However, and here's the kicker, while I originally believed myself to be making the right decision; not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her or wanted to talk to her. My guy friends are saying ask her out, but my female friends said that she had said multiple things about our last night together, namely that it wasn't I who rejected her. So I feel as though I'm at an impasse and am unsure as to what I should do, talk to her or just let this one go. | Girl at uni, hooked up while drinking twice. I rejected her last time, now I just want to talk or go on a date. What to do? |
t3_1dx5hr | relationships | How do I (19F) get my SO's mom to like me again? | Like the title says, I'm 19, my SO is 24, and his mother is in her late 50s-60s. Basically a few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were going through a hard time in our relationship. We've been dating for about a year and a half.
Anyways, we mended our relationship but his mother doesn't want me around and dating her son. We got in a bad fight outside one day and the neighbors told her what happened, out of context. They definitely did a good job making me look like the bad guy. (Without knowing the full situation of course.) I fully understand how inappropriate it was to fight outside, in a public setting. I don't think my SO defended me enough on this.
She's a single mom and he lives with her to help with bills and around the house. His living situation probably won't change for a few years or so, so his moms opinion of me does matter quite a bit. We never were too close before this, but she was always very nice and spoke fondly of me.
I was thinking of sending her really nice flowers this Mother's Day and maybe a short message. Does anyone have any advice or tips or anything?? Also she doesn't speak English fluently, she's very traditional and religious Eastern European.
I'm a full-time student, with a job, and heading to a University next year. I do community service and have supported her son through extremely difficult times over the past year. I'm not a bad person by any means, but she seems to think so. | SO's mom hates me and doesn't want me to date her son. She's foreign so communicating with her is hard. How do I get her to like me again? |
t3_3pogi5 | Advice | I am pretty lost and quite scared | Prior to this elongated shower I didn't know this subreddit existed!
Hi, I'm a 17 y/o dude in my last year of secondary/high school. I have struggled greatly with keeping myself positive and lack any form of determination or motivation; and this year has been terrible for me. The last time I can recall feeling truly content was the 3/9/14. My birthday. I had a beautiful girlfriend I had been with for over a year. A very close set of friends and I had just bought Fire Emblem: New Awakening for the 3DS. My girlfriend and I broke up Halloween last year and it hit me hard.. I started to drink a lot and smoke(purchasing these has never been a problem for me seeing as I'm 5'5 and look like I'm about 20! And all my friends actually being 20+ does help). Now for this Halloween I'm alone, a very frequent weed smoker and struggling even more with motivation (in the last two weeks of I've gone to about 2 maybe 3 days of school). I've gone to counselling for the duration of the last two years; I've found my counsellor is the only person I look forward to seeing. A lot of this year for me has been trying to get off the ground and out the state my ex left me in. But all I've gotten is a lot of women who have lied, lead me on, tarnished my name and played me like a fool. The other day brought me over the line and I deactivated my Facebook and snapchat and the only contact I've had with the outside world in a while is meeting a dealer about an hour ago. I have no social issues, my ability to articulate is only seconded to my adoration towards games and English.
But what I am asking people of reddit is for a little help. Help for a lonely guy who just keeps making a fool of himself. Help for a scared guy who just wants somebody to make him feel special again. | I've never given a fuck about anything got a lot a pussy now I got none and life has hit me like a brick wall. Plz halp. |
t3_1o1iaz | relationship_advice | [22/F] How do I talk to my partner [21/M], about how paranoid he is making me? | So I have been seeing my current partner for the last 5 months, and over the last 2 weeks things have gotten a little hectic. I have introduced him to the world of Tabletop RPGs (something that we both enjoy) but of late this has caused me a lot of stress.
Our GM is a friend of mine [23/F] and has been spending a lot of time with both of us lately. However, since we have started gaming my partner has been consistently sending large quantities of messages to her outside of game times. These messages based on the characters have gotten sexually explicit and it almost feels like cheating. Originally it was the two of them sending messages as created characters and now it has moved onto them roleplaying themselves in different situations, not just characters based on actual games.
I have a lot of trust issues because of past relationships and I have explained that to my current partner but I don't know if he understands what I mean. I am not sure if I need to tell them to stop, because I want them to enjoy games and be friends, but the messages are really starting to get to me.
He also tried to hide them from me when I asked who he was sending messages to at all hours of the night. We used to share everything and now he is hiding things from me. | My partner and my GM are sending sexually explicit character messages that have turned from being just made up characters to themselves in the real world. How do I ask them to stop? |
t3_3f1goj | relationships | My mother [45F] is being unreasonable and won't let me [18M] go on vacation with my father [47M] | As a present for my 18th/19th birthday, I asked my parents if I could go on a road trip abroad before I start college in the fall. My Dad, who is the sole money earner and worker in the household, said yes and we decided to go together.
We don't want to bring my mom since she has very expensive tastes and the trip wouldn't be possible if she came, since she's very dominating and would force my Dad to stay at luxury hotels and dine in very expensive restaurants. Meanwhile, me and my Dad prefer going to motels and traveling cheaply, road-trip style.
We have tried to explain this and she is refusing to let us go. I'd understand if she felt left out but the ironic thing is that she forced me to stay at home (including during my birthday) while she went on 4 very fancy vacation trips without me, and sometimes without my Dad too. Sometimes she even booked these trips without my Dad confirming it, despite the fact that it is his money.
I've tried to deal with her calmly and rationally, explaining that it wouldn't be her kind of trip and for money reasons but she is refusing to let us go, unless she comes (consequently meaning the whole itinerary will have to be changed). At the moment, me and my Dad are keeping quiet about it, because if we mention it she flares up and gets very aggressive.
I'm considering just buying the non-refundable airfare so that way we 'have' to go, but I know she will be outraged about it all. For money reasons, it is not possible whatsoever for her to join us on the trip. How can I deal with her and make it a pleasant trip? | My mom is spoiled and is refusing to let me and my Dad go on our last trip together, despite the fact that she often leaves me to go on vacation, how can I deal with her? |
t3_1m4g3e | dating_advice | M[17] have NO idea how to even approach F[14] | [Throwaway because people on here know me]
So, here's the dealio.
I JUST met a girl, like a week ago. She's barely on Facebook and says she barely uses her phone to talk to people.
Okay, so I'll just talk to her in person, right? NO.
Always with friends, and that's my weakness. Talking to someone alone, fine, maybe a little stuttery/nervous, but fine.
Sometimes I see her in the hall at school and wish I could approach her, but my brain says no, don't, you'll creep her out. Problem is, even if I tried to talk to her, I'm afraid I'd get crazy tongue-tied.
My biggest fear is that if I try to talk to her in person I'll make her uncomfortable, or creep her out somehow, since I have 0 social skills with cute strangers. I can talk with male strangers just fine, and I can talk with my hot friends just fine, but when you put those two together, I am WAYY too nervous to do anything.
What can I do, either at school or after, to talk to her without creeping her out? | Know a really shy girl, afraid if I try to approach her I'll creep her out/get tongue tied. What do? |
t3_3kmtqi | relationships | My [24M] girlfriend [22 F] wants us to fall madly in love? | Hey guys and gals,
I have gotten great advice so far from here . thank you in advance for your time .
So my girlfriend of 1 month wants us to fall madly in love with each other . I don't understand how to even begin to accommodate this request . I think the world of her and I would say I love her and she loves me . but she wants to feel the stereotypical rush that you hear about . butterflies and such .
This is her first serious relationship . and I tried to explain to her that she should be careful not to fall in love with the idea of it . but truly fall in love with me and who I am .
She is very shy and introverted so kissing is kind of difficult and physical contact is still a little weird . she tells me she wants to be more passionate and such . as a guy , I'm lost. I admit it . perhaps a female could help me out since guys can't really feel the array and assortment of feelings girls can feel .
Remember physical contact is limited so no inappropriate touching . reason being she was molested by a doctor when she was a tried. I don't want to jump that fence when she is still so nervous .
She also said currently she sees me as a guy she wants to further the relationship with , but if she doesn't find that passion she will end up thinking of loving me as a friend. Roughly that's what she said since English isn't her first language .
Also I'm running out of ideas to do with her for dates . the town I live in is rather limited in options . I have taken her to the movies , aquarium , walk in the park , all the cliche dates . any ideas for a fun and bonding date ?
Thank you so much | girlfriend keeps talking about the idea of falling madly in love for passion . I'm confused and don't even know where to begin . halp |
t3_3sxdps | jobs | I fucked up and am likely to be fired | I'm 19, didn't plan on going to college, and live with my parents in Connecticut. I got my very first job in April 2015 as a part-time delivery driver for a pharmacy in my hometown and as of this posting have been working there for six and a half months. I've had a number of complaints about my driving throughout most of my time there. I recently royally fucked up when I got two rather significant complaints in the same week. Also, just at closing time I got back from a delivery and turned off the lights before turning the corner to see a customer was AT THE COUNTER which is by all means fucking rude and stupid.
Now I'm awaiting to talk with my boss, am totally willingly planning to resign if given the chance, and want to make it as clean and quick as possible.
I wasn't proactive enough to set up other opportunities despite knowing I wouldn't want to be there long-term and a lingering desire to resign in a completely benign manner before shit hit the fan. There obviously isn't enough time to set up another opportunity before seeing my boss Monday and very possibly being fired/resigning so the gap in employment could be questionable. I hope to just put in my two weeks' notice and try to be super fucking careful so we can part ways real clean and professional and not have a huge black mark on my newborn employment history.
In the end, I'm just a dumb kid who got his first job and fucked it up because driving a company branded car, doing my job, and being safe all at the same time is too much responsibility.
Any advice from anyone on what to do is truly appreciated. | Age 19, got very first job as a delivery driver, suck at driving, and just want to avoid a messy departure/botching future opportunities. |
t3_2kgbk1 | tifu | TIFU by asking for a resume | This happened some years ago when I was in high school. I was working at a bakery at this time. My boss was overworked and jumped from crazy to angry constantly. I had worked at this bakery for about 2 years when this F-up happened.
My boss was having a particularly manic day and got after me for something. I don't remember what it was, but I remember being very offended and hurt. I worked my butt of at this job (cleaning a bakery sucks, BAD). So it was at this time I decided to look for another job. I had seen a sign in the window of the bookstore next door advertising a job position.
So after work I headed over to the bookstore. I briefly stopped to read the sign, but I wanted to look cool so I hurried inside to inquire about the position. Now I must say when I was a teenager I acted wise beyond my years, but the sad truth was that I was an airhead. I knew very little about the way "grown-up" things worked.
Anyway I walk into the store and head to a sales associate and ask to see the manager. She tells me that she is the manager. I with all my teenage confidence state that I am interested in the job opening. She tells me in an annoyed voice that I can apply by resume. At this point I'm flustered because it's already been a crappy day and now this woman is being witchy. Nevertheless I ask in my kindest voice if I can get a resume. The woman pauses and looks at me quizzically. Then in a not so quiet voice she informes me that **I** am supposed to write a resume and bring it in. I stare at her dumbfounded for a moment and then it clicks. I feel extremely stupid! I blush probably more than I ever have in my life, turn around and walk out of the store.
The worst part about this is that when I told my parents, looking for some kind words, they laughed so hard they cried. Then promptly told anyone and everyone of my mistake. And that is the longest story ever about how I F'd up.
WAY | Got pissed at my boss, went next door to inquire about a position, was told resumes are made by applicant, felt stupid, went home, cried. |
t3_1hjsq5 | offmychest | I know someone who is spreading aids, don't know what to do. | Background:
At a university, a girl in my dorm hallway (let's call her Rachel for privacy) liked me. I liked another girl much more and generally believed that Rachel was very fake (insane amounts of makeup) and attention seeking to an extreme degree. In an unexpected twist, in a desperate play for love and attention, she played the sympathy card and told me she had been raped a few months before college. She didn't do anything about it. I insisted over and over again she go to the police and get the ball rolling but she was afraid the guy would hunt her down and hurt her. I felt bad, but it didn't change the fact I had already disliked her.
That explained her crazy emotions.
(Insert winter break)
We come back from break and she goes off the wall, having double digit one night stands in a month, including sometimes multiple in one night. I don't use the term lightly, but she became a slut. I attribute this to it being her 'get away' from the pain.
What I didn't know till the last week of school after her crazy sleeping around habits continued, her best friend told me she was worried about Rachel's sleeping around because Rachel has aids. Best friend (lets call her Kate) didn't know how she got it, but confirmed she had it. Kate doesn't know Rachel has been raped.
Now I'm the only one who has the complete picture and Rachel is actively ruining lives and I don't know if I should intervene.
Keep in mind: Rachel and I are no longer friends or even talking because of our personality differences. | Girl got raped, contracted aids, now spreading it wildly. I'm the only one who knows all of this and don't know how to stop it. |
t3_2pa5vq | dating_advice | I am I over analyzing this? | To begin, I (22, F) have had problems in the past about being oblivious to advances and I tend to be shy.
I was at a friends party when a girl I have met a few times before walks up to me an asked 'have you met Tim?' (My friend's roommate (24, M)). I told we have met, but never talked much. That is when she told me that he is a great and interesting guy and we should talk more. Then she said that he is single then smiled and walked away.
Later that night my friend was telling me how smart and accomplished Tim is. And I saw him looking over my way several times during the night, but he could have just as easily been looking at someone/something else.
I don't really know Tim, but I know we have many interest in common and also he seems like a very extroverted person. So is thinking that he might like me reading into this too much? | Mutual friends have recently started telling me how great Tim is and that he is single, but he doesn't talk to me at all. I don't know what to make of this. |
t3_2ruau6 | tifu | TIFU By Wearing Swim Trunks Too Big | It had been a few months since I went to the beach, and in those few months I worked out a lot and managed to lose some weight. My friends wanted to go to the beach, and invited me. However, all of my boat shorts were too big. It was either that or a speedo, so I said fuck it and wore the board shorts. Bad mistake. It was a nice, sunny Sunday at the beach and was fairly crowded. The surf was big, and unaware to my dumbass, there were some large rip currents . I lasted about 10 minutes before it happened. There were 5 of us. Then there was a big ass wave. That big ass wave pulled off my shorts. When trying to swim to them, I had been pulled into the fucking rip current. Bye bye friends, I got pulled out REALLY fucking far for my swimming abilities. My friends found a lifeguard who then paddled out to save my naked white hairy ass. There I was, being pulled by lifeguard on one of their red floaty things, naked, in front of a bunch of families, and worst of all, my friends. When on shore, most of the people left the beach. I ruined their day. My friends were laughing their asses off as I tried to cover my dick(made tiny from the cold ass water). My three year crush was one off my friends there if I didn't mention that. She saw how tiny my dick was from the water and that probably ruined all my chances with her. I had to borrow her cut offs WHICH WERE TOO SMALL to get to the car, which by the way was many blocks away. So * there I was, walking through town wearing cut offs while she only had a skinny ass bikini bottom for pants. It was awful. Everywhere I went, people were taking pictures. My friends were still laughing their asses off. Everyone could see my tiny ass budge through the cutoffs. It was the longest walk I ever took. This was a few weeks or maybe months ago by the way. Pretty much the entire town knows about it. Thanks friends. | Wore swim trunks too big, they fell off, I got pulled into a rip current, was rescued by a lifeguard while naked in front of a bunch of families. |
t3_2g3ylh | tifu | TIFU by thinking I had won a fight | So a little bit of context behind this: Before anyone asks, I don't get into fights in parking lots or anything like that. I do wrestling for my High School team.
I was doing practice with a different school for the inter-school that is coming up in November. I was up against a friend I thought was a pretty easy match for me. Suddenly a girl that I really like walked into the stands and sat down with a friend. The girl and I were pretty good friends at best. So this was my chance to start some sort of conversation with her.
The plan was: Own my friend, walk up to the girl and start talking to her. After that I would probably ask her out or something.
The match was going pretty well, I had this guy under me after a while. I look like the man right now. So while I had this guy down I looked at the girl and performed a sort of nod. But as I was doing this the coach is screaming at me for some reason. I couldn't hear him because I was so caught up in the moment. But quickly after he started shouting I realized I wasn't focussed on what I was doing and sooner or later my friend had me on my back.
I looked like a total idiot. My coach gave me this disappointing and my friends all jeered at me saying "Who you nodding at!". My friend comes up to me shakes my hand and thanks me for letting him win. He still doesn't know that I didn't give the match to him.
But still I talked to the girl for a bit. She called me a dumbass and then said that she would go on a date with me. | I tried to look good for a girl while winning a wrestling match. After that I lost because I wasn't focussing on the match. |
t3_2spsbf | relationships | My GF of 1 year (19F) doesn't believe that I (21M) love her anymore. | So I have been in honestly what I can say has been the best relationship of my life with this girl that I met online.
It is a long distance thing for now (She's in Canada, I'm in the US) The distance isn't anything that has really bothered us, we've visited back and fourth a few times, and I've decided a while ago that I want to move up there with her, and go to school up there as well.
I've been saving my money like crazy to make that happen.
So I'll be the first to admit that I was not the best boyfriend to this dream girl of mine.
I used to jokingly make fun of the things she liked, like music, tv shows, etc.
I also used to have this really bad habit of trying to one up people that I've since gotten over, as well as the joking at the things she likes, I realized that it's not the way to treat her.
So anyways, she's gotten upset at me before for not responding to texts for a long time (and as some of you may know when you're in a LDR that's one of the only forms of communication).
That not responding only really happened in a few incidents, the only times I was never responsive with her was when I had family visiting and I didn't want to be rude by sitting around and texting when my grandparents are trying to visit me.
I never really explained to her why I wasn't responding, I just didn't for that reason.
So anyways now it's at the point where she thinks I don't love her as much, or that I think she's at all special, when in truth I love this girl to death.
She's my whole world honestly, and no matter how much I tell her she only thinks about what I said in the last and won't believe how I feel now that I've stopped being an ass.
I honestly don't know how to convince her that I'm still very much in love with her. | long distance with dream girl , said and did things I shouldn't have in past, she won't believe that I still love her even though I stopped being an ass. |
t3_3qaymd | relationships | Update to LDR with red flags of controlling behavior. [23F] [23M] | [First post is here.](
After a lot of thinking, a lot of delaying, and a final push from my best friend, I decided to end my relationship with my SO today. I had woken up and seen the controlling behavior for myself, and knew I had to bounce.
Only now, he's coming clean. All of his threats, and fights, and arguments, and really angry and controlling behavior was done to keep me in line. When he first did it, he saw how I instantly put all my attention back on him, and he exploited it for all these years. I was his puppet.
He isolated me from my friends, my family, my workmates, ripped everything good out from me and gave me horrible anxiety and timidness. All because I didn't devote myself 100% to him.
I'm not sad. I'm fucking furious.
All those times where my heart was in my throat, choking on tears and fear, all those long nights of crying, begging, pleading, and he was playing me like a puppet the entire time.
I'm done. I'm never trusting anyone ever again. | Summed up the courage to end the abusive relationship, and he came clean about manipulating me and emotionally abusing me for his gain. I was sad, but now I'm seeing red. |
t3_3jx56c | relationships | Me [27 M] trying to date again, I'm not sure if I'm emotionally mature enough. | I am a single full time dad, my ex and I broke up 1 year ago, and she recently moved out of state because parenting is apparantly not her cup of tea.
After a year of basically no female contact, I tried to start dating again. 3 weeks ago, actually. I tried some online thing and was skeptical, but I did find one girl and I was excited.
We were texting a lot and had many interesting subjects to talk about, and the first date went great. Really connected, having fun literally all night (no sex) but very hands on and smooching. And dancing.
Second date was during the day and more casual, but still had a good time. Texted me afterwards to that effect, and we were going to make plans for in a couple of days.
Then no contact. I texted a few times during the past 2 weeks, but nothing from her. I decided it's out of my hands, maybe I did something wrong, maybe she found someone else, changed her mind, died, etc etc
I know I should be seeing multiple women, but I dont have time. She was also my dream girl. Every trait I wanted in someone, and she had it. I was, probably, too obsessed, although I tried not to show it.
Why the hell am I still thinking about this girl all the time? It's not healthy I know, but I'm constantly sad about it. Does this go away? Normal? How the hell do I get normal? I'm lonely as hell and I feel like I'll come across as too much baggage to most girls. | why the hell am I way too attatched to this girl after 2 dates? How can I forget about her and stop feeling shitty? And is 2 weeks of no contact my cue to fuck off? |
t3_464n01 | relationships | Guy I'm seeing threatened to beat up his roommate, is this a red flag? | So I've(21f) been casually dating this guy(26m) for a month or so. Last night I slept over at his house, and around 2am on a Monday his roommate came home drunk as hell and loudly fighting with his gf. This is something his roommate does pretty regularly.
My guy walks out and asks him to keep it down. His roommate agrees to be quiet, but then starts yelling again 15 mins later. So this time the my guy grabs a baseball bat from his closet and threatens to beat his ass if he doesn't shut up. They argue for a bit, but no violence happens, and the roommate was quiet for the rest of the night.
So I was kinda freaked by the whole thing, and the next morning I ask the guy I'm dating if he would actually have beaten his roommate up. He says no he just wanted to freak him out and get him to shut up. Does this situation seem like a red flag to you? Or am I over reacting? | Guy I'm seeing threatened to beat up his roommate with a baseball bat for being loud and drunk at 2am. But said he was just trying to scare him. Is this a red flag? |
t3_3hk9sf | relationships | I [25F] am uncomfortable with the way my coworker [30sM] talks to me | I have a coworker who works in a different department, so I don't see him every day.
When I do see him, he always strikes up a conversation. The best way that I can describe the tone of his conversation is that it is reminiscent of "negging." This is a term from the Pick-Up Artist (PUA) tactic, and it means that he tries to provoke a response from me by using backhanded compliments. Oftentimes he comments on my body type, what I eat, my appearance, etc, in a way that makes me very uncomfortable. However, the things that he says are not so cut-and-dry inappropriate that I feel I could go to HR over them.
I hate talking to him and I dread his comments whenever I see him. But I always act like it's no big deal because I know he's looking for a reaction from me and the last thing I want to do is give him one.
Furthermore, I have body image issues and the last thing I want to do is admit to him or anyone else (including HR) that his comments about my body are a problem.
Do you have any advice for me? Thank you. | Coworker is "negging" me with comments about my body, not sure if I should go to HR or keep ignoring him. |
t3_xqe29 | AskReddit | My wife was recently diagnosed with an incurable disease (endometriosis) and it really messes with her (and us, by relation). Any other redditors out there in a similar situation? How do you handle it? | About a month ago, we found out my wife (28) of 3 years (together for 7) has endometriosis (I'm 30, btw). If you don't know about endo, check this link out:
We're still working on sorting out the treatment and management stuff, but we know she'll live with it the rest of her life. Since it's only been a month, we haven't gotten it under control yet, and we're both still trying to wrap our heads around this whole "rest of her life" thing. She sleeps a lot, has lots of pain, and has to come home from work occasionally from sever nausea and vomitting. In the past 2 months, we've gone to the ER maybe half a dozen times for pain or nausea.
I'm curious to see how other redditors out there have been able to cope with having a SO in a similar situation. I love my wife so very much, so this is all about figuring out not only how to manage her disease, but also manage our marriage and lives. | wife had endometriosis, an incurable (but not fatal) disease. I want to see how other redditors handle similar situations in their marriages. |
t3_3w72k0 | relationship_advice | I [20/f] don't know what to do about my best guy friend [20/m] | We met last year and became really good friends; we clicked pretty quickly and I think we've continued to learn a lot from each other. We understand each other in a way that I think is really special and I am thankful for. The problem is that we've hooked up a few times, but we decided not to do that anymore because we thought it was weird to be hooking up with such a close friend. He initiated every time, but I was into it too and really felt comfortable cuddling with him afterwards, and I find myself still feeling sexual tension between us sometimes. I'm not sure if I'm interested romantically or not; I get jealous when he spends time with or talks to other girls even if it's just studying, and I definitely respect and love him as a person but I don't know if that's just from being best friends. I can see us dating, because I think it would be the same as now except we would be adding that romantic/sexual level. I don't find myself being interested in any other men. However, we've also expressed (a few months ago) our disinterest in serious relationships. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Where do I go from here, if anywhere? | I really like spending time with my best dude friend and don't know 1) if I want more and 2) where to go from here if I do. |
t3_24cpco | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years, she went snooping and now thinks I'm cheating | My girlfriend recently snooped around my computer and found that I had been browsing craigslist casual encounters. She also found e-mails that I had sent out through craigslist to some postings from about 2 years ago. I think the only reason that I had done it was for my own personal satisfaction of knowing that the possibility was out there. I remember getting one reply but I just couldn't go through with it. The thought of me losing her devastates me.
I think the reason that I still go on the site is because I like to sometimes see just "normal" girls and reading their short post usually gets me turned on.
I want to fix this, and am considering doing some couples therapy but what else can I do to help us get through this troubling time. | Girlfriend caught me looking on CL casual encounters, thinks I'm cheating. How do I convince her that I'm not. |
t3_impq3 | AskReddit | Reddit... I need help. How can I be more Positive? | My friends have commented on this problem many times. Anyone who really knows me well, says I'm a very negative person. The thing is, I just don't notice it until it's pointed out to me.
When I pay attention to my thoughts I notice myself saying things about random strangers I've never even met before. Really nasty mean things.
When I play games with buddies, I'm always a huge pessimist and say things like "oh crap, this won't go well" or "I don't feel good about this"
It's always been something I try to keep in check for the sake of my relationship with my GF of 4 years but it's always a problem. Even striking up conversations with anyone is difficult because I can only think of negative things to say. I'm often complaining or pointing out flaws in things or people. It's lead me to have a very funny cynical / sarcastic sense of humor... perhaps the one upside to it all. I can be funny as hell sometimes, but at it's very foundation it's built out of negative thoughts.
Does anyone have any similar experiences or suggestions they could share? | I'm a negative son of a bitch, how can I actively turn my personality around so i can actually brighten up my life and the people around me at a core level. |
t3_2cbfdl | offmychest | Go out to see my favorite band, offer to DD since im driving and get kicked out before show because friend was trashed… what the fuck | This band plays maybe a dozen shows a year and tonight the combined with another HUGE band so do a special show, except when I texted my friend "Hey where are you I am front row" I got a text from someone else saying "Hey your friend is in the parking lot with the police you need to come outside please hurry". I debated it. I almost didn't go. I thought of it all. I spent hundreds of dollars to be here and this person just came to party. Maybe they didnt deserve to be there, but i didnt have it in me to let them be arrested (I wish I did now). I left and security grabbed me on the way out "no re-entry". I said "ok". I knew i wasn't coming back. Sure enough there he was trashed and throwing up. Got him in the car and right as he says "Dont worry I wont throw up.." boom everywhere… I really regret not getting the rental insurance. Best part is I got a speeding ticket on the way home woooo. Anyway since no one really knows what this music means to me and people i know would just tell me i am privileged for being able to complain I figured I'd get it off my chest here.
details/ | i work all year, nonstop except for the nights this band plays which are my holidays and my friend got so trashed that i got kicked out of the club and out of money to fix interior of rental |
t3_mtn0s | AskReddit | Reddit. I have an idea. | It has come to my attention that there is an overwhelming number of political jokes on r/funny. They do not belong on r/politics because that is for serious political posts and discussions, but it is annoying me greatly to have to constantly look at political posts while browsing r/funny. There also seems to be a great deal of confusion regarding whether political posts belong on r/funny or r/politics. If you post something funny in r/politics, you get down voted for trolling a serious political subreddit. If you post something political in r/funny, you get down voted for posting something political in an unpolitical subreddit.
So now comes my bold suggestion. We must make a subreddit specifically for political jokes! So that r/politics doesn't feel like it's being trolled and r/funny doesn't have to endure any more republican candidate jokes, especially since it is an international subreddit and (unlike r/politics) is not specifically targeted at American issues. This would alleviate the politically heavy nature of r/funny and allow unpolitical posts greater opportunity for viewing while granting a more preferential audience to the political posts in their new exclusive subreddit.
May we please do this? | There's enough political jokes on r/funny that a new subreddit specifically for political humour should be created. Everybody wins? |
t3_32lb4d | relationships | Me [20F] with my SO [21M] of 6 months, no actual problems but whole relationship feels weird.. WHY | I recently (like 6 months ago) started dating my best guy friend of 3 years. I would say I know him pretty well, we always got along like punch and loved to do everything together.
There was always some kind of spark between us but he had a girlfriend for 2 of those years so we always just took the mantra "friends first" and remained completely platonic and that was fine, I just loved hanging out with him and him me.
When we started seeing each other, everything was great and all we wanted to do was be together, classic honeymoon stage. We baked and cooked together, he brought me flowers and stuff and we both felt so loved and appreciated.
Fastfoward to about 4 months into the relationship, he tells me he has a crush on this girl at work. He says he still loves me and would never dream of leaving me and that he doesn't understand why this girl is so interesting to him.
This really undermines my confidence and I started trying to get him to be more of a boyfriend to me (more time together and such). We kept going on but felt really out of sync.
2 months or so later, we are trying to talk about why this feels so weird to us and he lets me know that he feels that I am making our relationship into a chore for him by expecting the same stuff I got in the honeymoon phase. We ended up breaking up for a little bit but during that time missed each other horrendously and talked almost every day and stuff. We both feared being without each other as we have been insanely close both as friends and lovers and would be lost.
Now we are together but I fear that everything he is doing is so that he doesn't have to be alone and without his former best friend. Even though he does things for me and we make an effort do to things together, they feel stiff and awkward. Im scared to bring up how I feel again in case he thinks things are normal and he is happy and its just me causing problems.
WE DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS. HELP US PLEASE. | former best friend turned boyfriend and I are feeling like this relationship is forced but we don't want to separate at all. How can we make this feel normal again? |
t3_1ugewg | relationships | Me [2x M] with my Girlfriend [2x F] of 3 months, am I wrong to feel this way? | We're both in our early twenties, I'm leaving out exact numbers to keep our identities private. I'm not very good at writing so I'll try to keep this as basic as possible. We met a year ago, I had a crush on her but she was in a 3+ year relationship. Couple months later we meet up in a group setting and ended up crushing on each other. We kissed while she was in that relationship and she ended up leaving her boyfriend to get with me. Everything with her is amazing except a few things. We're long distance currently but we fly to see each other every month for about a week. She spends all day thinking of me, doing things that remind her of me, reading about me. She's definitely into me but when she hangs out with other guys it makes me feel paranoid. Two guy friends recently confessed they had feelings for her. I told her that it was not okay to hang out/talk to them anymore as they know we're in a relationship. Now a third guy wants to go to a convention with her on one of the days she's visiting. I'm going to be tied down with my job and I can't really entertain her (I wish I could). So she wants to take up that offer with him instead of being bored. Some mutual acquaintances talk bad about me to her in private and she doesn't defend me or stop conversation because she doesn't want to make enemies. I guess my thoughts are all over the place but I'm having trust issues. How should I communicate to her, what should I do? I mentioned my hesitation to this convention hang out and she said "shh, I know"? I know she makes a huge effort to make me feel that she cares about me but sometimes something feels off but I guess I've been overly paranoid in the past with her. | Lots of guys hit on and confess to my girlfriend, I don't feel comfortable with her hanging out with guys in general now. |
t3_3wr3si | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of two months. I am uncomfortable that his best friend is his ex-girlfriend [22 F] | So, a couple of months ago, I met this amazing guy. He's sweet, caring and handsome as fuck.
He's funny, loving and I feel like he cares about me like noone has before. We go out, hang out and have amazing sex. I am genuinely in love with this guy.
However, there is one issue I take with this. He still hangs around his ex girlfriend. They broke up about five months before I met him, and according to him there was no hurt feelings and they separated as friends.
Their relationship was one and a half year long, but they'd been hooking up for almost two years.
They'd been friends for about half a year prior to them hooking up and he told me that they'd grown pretty close to each other in that time. He considered her his best friend.
After their break-up, they didn't talk much and only picked up contact about a month before I met him. They hang out at his or her place and talk, drink coffee or watch a movie or something. And it bothers the shit out of me.
He assures me that he has nothing but platonic feelings for her and that was the reason their relationship ended - they were only meant to be friends. To assure me of his intensions, he has introduced me to her and she seems like a genuinely nice person.
I've told him that it bothers me that he is so close with her, and he has offered me to break contact with her. He says he loves me and wants to be with me and doesn't want her to be in the way.
I know that he has talked to her about this as well and she seemed understanding, but a bit sad if it has to come to this.
Can I ask of him to break contact with a person that means a lot to him - just because their past relationship bothers me? | My new boyfriend is good friends with his ex. It bothers me. He has offered to cut contact with her, but I don't want to ask that of him. |
t3_21atxg | relationships | Why can't I (21F) get over the thought of my boyfriend (26M) cheating on me? | It's a fairly new relationship. He's never cheated in the past, and gives me no reason to believe he would. The worst he does is like other girls photos on instagram- bugs me a little but that's so miniscule.
I guess it isn't much about us than it is about me. I was cheated on in my last serious relationship and it hurt me deep down inside my core. I have forgiven him, and we are on good terms. I never talk to him.
Now I believe any guy will cheat on me. I get very jealous but then I'll reason with myself rationally and calm down. I'm protective. But I never fully voice my emotions in fear of looking controlling.
Do you have any advice? How can I move on from these things? | I'm jealous and believe that my boyfriend will cheat on me without a second thought, even though he's been faithful. I'm crazy. |
t3_25d202 | Cooking | Moved to a new place a month ago, looking for insight on how to properly use a half size oven(I'm burning the most basic of things...) | Hi, just hoping someone can help me out with cooking in a half size oven(or I'm to assume that's an appropriate term)
first off, oven in question:
As I stated in the title, I've burned the few things I've cooked in it since I moved here. I'm guessing I need to lower the temp but I figured I'd come and ask others who have likely used these before than going through trial and error(and money).
Example was one of the self-rising pizzas you can get at the store. Put it on a sheet at 450 for 19 minutes. Timer goes off and take out the pizza. The top is perfect but the bottom was burned to all hell, and at that it must have burned so quick that the crust didn't rise or something as what *was* eatable tasted undercooked. I would try raising it a rack but then the top would be a mere inch or so from the top heating coil so I think that would only solve one problem with another. | For a half-size arsonist oven, if a recipe or box calls for 450F and 19 minutes(for example), how should I adjust to accommodate said oven's differences. |
t3_fjtlr | relationships | The final hurdle, developing an online relationship into a realife one | Hey Reddit,
I have had so far an online relationship with a girl for about two years. She's now 21, I'm 25. We have such an amazing repor, we share a lot of the same politics, views and interests, there are times where we'll just sit there smiling at each other for hours on end. She really is quite something special.
We have both planted our feet firmly in the ground from when it started to bloom on the matter of everything being ONLINE which doesn't always work in real life. We live in separate countries (Both in Europe), getting there and finding a place to stay is not an issue.
This issue isn't in our meeting as we both can't wait to see if it's transferable to a real life situation, the problem is her mother is very protective of her. This is the internet after all and if I were a parent, I would be very cautious too, even at her age.
We definitely want to meet each other, we have both pretty much reasserted we are who we say we are, webcam every day, seen passports, seen driving licenses, seen pictures, there's a great deal of trust between us and we're not naive internet users, we're aware of the dangers.
The problem is how to break it to her mum, she's edging on the idea of lying and going, I dislike this a lot as lying often has far worse rammifications than telling the truth and if this develops it will involve finding new excuses.
The problem is how to break the news to her mother, how to ask for her acceptance, I'm happy to meet her mother, yet I don't actually speak her language, so apart from being able to see me I don't quite know how to prove I am genuine and not a threat. At the same time, we don't want her mum hanging around the whole weekend, preventing us from actually enjoying one another's company and getting to know each other.
Reddit, please suggest us something to get us out of this pickle? | girl (21) and I (25) online dating, different countries, need to break it to overprotective mother* |
t3_1frqcj | tifu | TIFU by taking a shortcut at work | Colossal fuckup today. I am in charge of waste management in the supermarket I work at, so part of that job is emptying the bins. I threw a bag into the dumpster today and it got caught on the edge so it was half in and half out at the end of the bin.
Rather than taking the extra steps to climb down the dock ladder and push it in from the side, I stepped out onto the rim of the dumpster. As I reached for the bag, my foot slipped off the side of the bin and with a loud "FUCK" I went straight in. Luckily the only fresh waste in there was produce, and I landed standing up on a large patch of lettuce leaves.
I've got a lovely bruise and scrape on my thigh (about fist size around) but other than that I'm ok. I was going to just stay at work but by the time lunch rolled around I was feeling pretty shitty so I've come home and I'm about to take the longest shower ever. I'll go back tomorrow for some more laughter :/ | Took a 5 second shortcut, fell into a dumpster, went home with huge injury to pride and tiny injury to body. |
t3_3efgtj | relationships | Me [22/m]: My friend [19/f] of a few months suddenly and abruptly acting distant and cold towards me | There is this woman [19/f] I've [22/m] known from the start of the year and have since become friends with her.
As we talked to each other, she became fun, outgoing and playful towards me but suddenly and abruptly, as in; within the last week and it was sudden, she has practically gone cold, acting distant; as if she's putting up her guard towards me. She blocked me on Instagram and is hiding herself away from me on Facebook so she doesn't show up in my online chat list.
As far as I know, I didn't do anything to offend her. I do somewhat like her for her humour, wit and kindness, but that can hardly be considered offensive and I have been holding off on her as I want to have a friendship with her first before deciding whether or not to ask her out. If we didn't like each other like that when it came down to it - we'd still have our friendship. I've flaired this as 'non-romantic' for that reason.
Outside of that, it was her birthday recently and I created a personalised card for her, and texted her to wish her a happy birthday that morning - this would understandably weird out someone when we don't talk very often; but we actually know quite a bit about each-other and she actually liked and thoroughly enjoyed this. I never constantly try to contact or interact her online or text her for no reason (we're lucky to talk online or text once a week or less, and even then it's only to confirm something that we've organised previously), never spent money on her, etc. The friendship is platonic even with my mild interest in her beyond that. | Why would a female friend suddenly and abruptly have a change of attitude and become distant/cold towards a guy friend, and what can I do to reverse this? |
t3_2vnngz | tifu | TIFU by ruining my chances with a girl | So, me and this girl, we've been best friends for years, since we were very young, maybe 4? I've always been interested in her, because of the time we spend together, her family is like my second family, and I've always slept round hers. Years later, she has been giving me hints via physical contact, messages etc. Hints that she wants more, whether it'd be sex, or just a relationship.
Anyway, moving swiftly on, I had a party last weekend that I was going to invite one of my mates (male) to come, maybe get some chicks or something, but he had a family thing on the weekend, so I decided to invite her. Here's where the worst bit comes in, I said I'd buy her all the drinks on the night, we'd get drunk and head back home. She's scared of being sick so tried to put off drinks as much as she could, until I knew she really didn't want any more.
So, not being a bully and making her drink, I had the drinks she didn't want, and started getting double shots..... What I remember from the night was sexual talk, things like what we were going to to when we got home, and we decided to have a sleep over... Then, the blur comes. I'm there at the table with her, chatting about later on, and bam, next thing I know, I'm outside puking, with some family members holding bottles of water.
So, no sex that night, and she headed home. But, things are still good, she still shows me signs! But next time, I won't drink as much :) | Getting really drunk and planning on having a fun night with my bestfriend who has a phobia of vomit. Ended up being sick and ruining my chances that night. |
t3_4tvzyx | tifu | tifu by locking a baby bear in my garage | I was woken up at around 3am by some rustling going on outside. I knew right away a bear was making a mess somewhere near by. I look out my window and sure enough a black bear has managed to lift my garage door and has made an awful mess of my garbage. So I do what I usually do when a bear is in my yard and run outside yelling profanity grasping a broom and banging it on the siding. Sure enough the bear has had enough of my yelling and fucks off.
Now here's where I fucked up. I closed my garage door. Now I can hear this fucking bear making an awful lot of noise off in the distance. Sort of like a deeper more menacing dog cry. I open up the side door and sure as shit there's a little black bear cub deep within the mess of my garage crying away. And I can still hear mom crying away in the distance. So I bolted inside and called the non emergency line for the police. I just need some help getting my garage door open (it won't open from the outside) so this cub can get out of my garage. Well apparently there's no one on duty at 3 am so I'm stuck here listening to this awful crying outside. | Scared a momma bear out of my yard and locked a baby bear in my garage by accident. Now I can't sleep due to bears |
t3_2rz81o | relationships | Me [19F] wondering if what I'm asking my SO to do [18M] is out of line | We were in a long distance relationship for almost two years, but about a month ago it ended. My brother passed away in November and I found out (about a week after it happened) that my boyfriend had seen another girl and lied about it on the night of my brother's funeral. I should mention that he was in town for the funeral and said he wanted to visit family while he was in town, even though that night obviously wasn't the best timing. He insists that nothing happened with this girl and that his cousin brought her along, but I've seen texts between him and this cousin about how to get the two of them together and how great her ass is, etc. so I'm not sure if I totally believe that.
So I ended it after I saw a picture of the two of them on Facebook from that night. In the past, I've found out about him being in contact with a few of his ex's on whatsapp, facebook, snapchat, etc.
It's a long story, but now we've decided to try and give our relationship another shot. I told him that I would stop being possessive of him, but under the condition that he cut off the 4 girls he cheated with and the 1 girl from the night of my brother's funeral. I've asked this of him before, and he reacted in the same way.
He deactivates his Facebook without deleting/blocking them and the reactivates it a week later, hoping I'll forget about the whole thing. I made it clear that this time he needs to actually do what I ask, and he tells me that "a relationship isn't a contract, don't make us start this way," etc.
Is what I'm asking of him valid? I think it is but I need other perspectives too. | Boyfriend cheated, I want him to cut off the girls he cheated with but he seems to think it's unreasonable. |
t3_42er52 | relationships | I [19/F] with my mother, had a conversation recently about me having too many sexual partners by the age of 30. | I'm a 19 year old female university student who has had two sexual partners since the age of 17. I got out of a longish relationship (1.5 years) in November and started dating a new guy pretty soon after. We're still together but I'm not emotionally invested in the relationship like I should.
I was catching up with my mother about what was going on in my life and I told her about how I didn't think the guy I am with currently is someone I want to be with long term and gave her reasons why (those details aren't important).
Later in the conversation, I told her about someone who had expressed an interest in me. She then proceeds to go into a tirade about how I'm going to have too many sexual partners by the time I'm 30. She has told me for years that I need to date different people and experience what people are like to find out who I want to marry and marry them later in life (30ish). Now that I'm doing that, I'm being criticized for basically not staying with one person long term.
I know she's worried about me and my health, but I'm a mature person who has a pretty good head on her shoulders. I don't hook up in any way and I don't sleep around. Before, I was sure about myself and my decisions, but now I'm questioning it and worrying about how to go on dating people for the next ten years without accumulating too many partners and still finding who I want to be in life. | I'm worried about wracking up too many sexual partners. Do I avoid relationships to prevent having too many sexual partners? How do I go about dating now with this worry/guilt? |
t3_nuzbr | relationships | Just started a relationship with a very independant girl. I have co dependency issues and its driving me crazy... | I met a girl online and hit it right off. I was dating other girls as well till I brought up the subject of being in a relationship. She agreed to it and said goodbye to all the other girls that I was talking to. I really like this girl, but I feel like I have a silent gf. I see her maybe once a week and she told me she wanted to take it slow. I thought it wouldn't be a problem, but I feel very lonely and feel I'm not getting any attention. She also said that she has a few walls that I would need to get by including he feeling that I'm still a stranger because we've only seen each other a handful of times. I'm getting very discourage and depressed over it. To give you a quick highlight on her shes very private and has never been in a relationship before. I'm 27 and shes 24. My question is should I continue and be patient, or stop driving myself sick and move on? | Was dating girl made it official, then found out about walls and I'm not used to feeling alone all the time.* |
t3_2ta8i2 | relationships | Me [23M ] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 6 months, finds another guy cute? | You guys probably answer an overwhelming amount of questions like this, but recently, my girlfriend had a couple of people from her country move to our state. He showed up at her birthday party and ended up asking for her number on Twitter. They don't talk often, but they talk enough for me to notice it. They play mobile games with each other and stir up small talk. I told her this bothered me and she insisted that he's no more than an acquaintance, even compared him to a school friend. She said she feels more obligated to make him feel welcome to this country during the move than she does to really talk to him. Here's my concern though, she straight up told me that she does think he's cute after I asked. I don't know, I never thought of myself as the jealous type but now that I know this, it's driving me crazy. My heart beats like crazy, my stomach turns upside down and my face turns red. I have no reason to be upset with her because she hasn't done anything to betray my trust but I still do feel this way. How can I stop being so jealous or how do I deal with this? I don't want her to just cut off ties with people in her life because of how I feel about them specifically. | Girlfriend finds another guy cute, insists that he's nothing more than an acquaintance. How can I deal with being jealous regardless? |
t3_51j26h | relationships | My [21F] girlfriend wants to become a sugar baby and I feel like I [20M] am crazy for staying with her. | So my long distance girlfriend (21F) and I (20M) have been together for over a year now. I've never been so connected with someone like her and I love her to death and she loves me back. I am currently working on establishing a career so we can visit freely and so we can eventually move in together and start a family.
At the moment she doesn't feel comfortable where she lives due to her family and she wants to move into an apartment but neither her or I can afford that at the moment. She just recently told me that she wants to become a sugar baby to help herself out until my career starts. She said that she would go on dates with these guys and the most she would do with them is give them a hand job. At first I was completely outraged at the thought of her cheating on me for money. The thought of it really hurts me inside but deep down the thought of her doing that with another man turns me on.
So I don't really know what I am feeling and I'm all torn up about this. On one hand I want to break up with her over this because she would do something like that to me but on the other hand I kind of like the idea of her doing it. I don't know what's worse, going through the heartache of the break up or the heartache of her going out with these other men. We are both very odd people. We have been through a lot of hardship in out lives growing up and I am actually able to connect with her like I never had with anyone before. She is my rock for when I have really bad depression or anxiety. This is the first time in my life that I've ever loved someone so much and if I let her go I feel as if I will never find another person like that. I also have trust issues that started at a very young age so I don't know if I can trust that she would only give these guys hand jobs.
Am I crazy for wanting to stay with her or should i just end things and fall into the deepest depression of my life? | My girlfriend wants to become a sugar baby and I am hurt but also turned on by the idea. Should I stay or should I go? |
t3_3pxbac | askwomenadvice | Not sure if overly imposing my ideas upon her. | Woman of reddit,
I need your help QAQ
I[19] met "her"[17] through a mutual friend at a convention. We soon found a common topic and have been messaging almost every night and meeting up for movies occasionally.
Whenever there's something that goes wrong or a situation she needs advice in, I seem to be the only person she consults. She's not the $ type of person, often rejects when I offer to buy her stuff(without a reason, only when she mentions she likes it). We're not a couple or anything. I've asked her for a relationship once, but it ended in a week as she felt that she wasn't ready for a relationship and neither was I. After that, we have been continuing our friendship as per normal, doing stuff together for close to 1.5 years.
We suddenly stopped talking for a month(for no apparent reason)
and she PM-ed me on facebook for advice.
I'm terribly confused and decided to play the silent game having seen the problem as I wasn't in the mood to talk to her since she hasn't contacted me in a month.(She often initiate the conversation) We're both shy person. | I[19],Her[17] been friends 1.5 years.We go out occasionally, PM on facebook almost everyday |
t3_3dc2dh | relationships | Is it wrong that I [23F] am hurt because my BF [25M] didn't get me an anniversary gift? | My bf and I just passed out two year anniversary together. We moved in together about 8 months ago.
My boyfriend and I make roughly the same amount of money. He is hourly and I am salaried. His company provides a car for him and all costs associated with it. I have my own car and pay for it all myself.
We live in an apartment with no AC. He is basically exothermic. We both find it hard to sleep in the heat. I had enough and went out and bought an air conditioner. However, the window in our bedroom (only "window" in the apartment) is narrow, meaning it won't fit a standard window air conditioning unit. So I had to buy one of the portable units with a hose leading to the window. It cost me $300 and ate up the meagre savings I had.
I came home and said "Happy anniversary! This is your anniversary gift". I didn't ask him to pay me for it. And we were happy and set it up and it was comfortable and great.
And our anniversary came... and... Nothing happened. It was on a Sunday. We'd both been out separately through the weekend and came home and were tired. We went out for dinner because I said I wanted to go out. He kind of paid for it? In that he paid me cash he owed me and then gave me some extra and I paid for dinner with that. I wrote him a long love letter and gave it to him.
Anyways... He didn't give me or do anything for our anniversary. No letters, no flowers, no gift, no date, no special anything.
And even though our anniversary was a week and a half ago, I'm finding myself getting upset about it now.
Is it too late to be upset about it or does that make me petty? How can I bring this up to him without sounding petty? Or do I just need to get over it? | bought an air conditioner for my bf as an anniversary gift due to the cost, he did diddly squat for me. Was over a week ago and I'm only upset now. |
t3_4vkqv7 | relationship_advice | I [24F] am creating distance from my partner [28M] for fear of a breakup | My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months now, and things are going well. We get along well and are able to get through the occasional arguments without any lingering resentment. We spend plenty of time together and share equal responsibility in the relationship. He has been incredible to me and that's why I feel so shitty about things.
Despite his kind words and encouragements, I am fearful that he will tire of me. Our sex life has had some difficulties recently and I've been fighting my own feelings of depression, which leads to constant insecurities and negative assumptions (e.g. He's mad at me or He must think I'm such a nag).
I feel like I've been pushing him away emotionally to try and "protect" myself from a possible breakup. I don't want to split up, but I also feel so caught up in my own shit that I'm not present in our relationship. He deserves a wonderful woman who will love him wholeheartedly, and I worry that my own shit is getting in the way.
How can I cope with all of this without losing him? | I've been trying to cope with feelings of depression and insecurity, and I'm worried it's interfering with my relationship. I am starting to create emotional distance to "protect" myself from a possible breakup. |
t3_26or7e | relationships | My [m/22] girlfriend [f/23] of 1 year is going to away to Europe for 2 months with her family and is upset with me. | So we have been together for about a year and this trip was planned by her family towards the start of our relationship. As I was her new boyfriend at the time they planned it, obviously I wouldn't be invited but later on in the relationship after we became closer her and her family wanted me to come after they booked everything.
I would love to go and I told her I'd try and see if I could but couldn't make any promises. Now it's less than a month before they leave and due to me being a university student I couldn't really come up with enough money for a trip to Europe.
So the thing is, now she's really upset that I'm not coming and told me I got her hopes up and that I could have tried harder to come. She told me her parents could cover some of my expenses while we we're there but I honestly don't feel comfortable with leeching off them.
I have the feeling she's not going to be that happy with me in the lead up to her going away and that's not how I want to spend my last couple of weeks with her before she goes because I'm going to miss her so much. I don't want her to leave on a negative note and I certainly don't want a break or an end to the relationship.
What can I do or say to her? I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff so I thank you in advance. | Girlfriend is going to Europe for two months with her family and is upset that I didn't try hard enough to be able to make it. |
t3_1t9r7d | relationships | I'm [22F] disappointed by my BF's [24M] xmas present | We've been dating for 8 months, and I understand that we didn't really decide on a limit for presents. I spend close to $100 on his present and also handmade something for him. He went out to get my xmas gift yesterday and gave it to me early. It was a gift card.
I feel like a shitty person for being disappointed with this gift. About a month ago he told me he was going to get me a gift card for this "just because".
He just got a good job where he makes really good money and spends a lot on himself. I'm certainly not dating him for his money, but it just kinda adds to the disappointment.
What can I say to him without coming of as an entitled bitch? Should I say anything at all? I feel so shitty for being disappointed.. | BF got me a gift card for xmas and gave it to me the day he got it. I feel shitty for being disappointed, and don't know what to do. |
t3_2ehkle | relationships | What do I (27m) do with my one year relationship with 32 f | I (27 m) have been with my gf (32 f) for a year. She told me about her past and the guy she was seeing before me. She swore they never had intercourse. Other things but not that.
She recently gave me an older phone to use cause mine crapped out. I was setting it up and found a convo with one of her friends talking about the amazing sex she'd been having with this guy she swore she didn't sleep with.
Now on the other hand other guys she was taking to had contacted her and she told them she was settled down and didn't have anything to share with them anymore cause she found me. This includes the guy she lied to me about.
Do I confront her about the lie, or ignore it because of her other conversations and just be happy we're a year in. | my gf lied about a past relationship but turned down all other relationships when we started dating, do I confront her about the lie? |
t3_2gezw6 | tifu | TIFU by eating a cockroach | Yeah of course this didn't happen today. This happened about 5 years ago in Tokyo, Japan.
So while in Japan I had a pretty irrational fear of cockroaches(didn't stay irrational for long). And since I stayed with my grandparents in a small small apartment there were always cockroaches running around and I'd pretty much freak out and jump a little bit when i see one. My mom bought a small rubber cockroach to prank me while I was sleeping. I woke up and saw a freaking huge cockroach on my face and flipped my shit. Then I figured out it was fake and got real pissed. Then for the next few weeks they kept doing this for me and since my natural instincts told me to flip my shit that's what happened pretty much every time... Then one day I wake up in the morning and I see something resting on my chin and I finally had enough of this shit and since my mouth moved a bit it fell into my mouth.... Me being a dumbass and thinking it was fake Just to prove a point I bit the damn thing in half and spat it out. Right away I realized that was not rubber and that in panic I swallowed one half. The other half was squirming on the floor and I proceeded to scream like a girl and run to the bathroom and try to puke that shit out. Wow was I freaking out and my family didn't understand what the hell was wrong with me until I gave up trying to puke and they asked me what was wrong. I then point to the floor where there's a little half cockroach still moving (they still move even when bit in fucking half) and they just start laughing because they're all assholes. I didn't get sick surprisingly or anything and not my irrational fear of cockroaches is multiplied so much and now when I sleep I have to cover my fucking mouth in a bandana or blanket so I feel like I'm not gonna swallow another cockroach and die.... | Tried to assert dominance over practical jokers by biting a rubber cockroach in half, and it ended up being real. |
t3_yl1ch | AskReddit | What is a time you absolutely destroyed someones hopes and dreams? | I was a TA in an organic chemistry lab. One girl in particular was very vocal in lab about her desire to become a cardiothoracic surgeon. She was great at the book work for the class and could memorize anything the textbook said, but she was complete cluster fuck when it came to bench work.
This girl broke equipment left and right, and her experiments never turned out right. I felt bad for her but also frustrated. She was paralyzed by fear of messing up or not following the book 100% and this meant she was agonizingly slow, asked a million questions, monopolized my time, and made even more mistakes as she become more fearful and timid. She racked up several hundred dollars in replacement equipment and I think she had a personal vendetta against pipettes.
Anyway one day I sorta loose my patience with her, she was way behind the other students and I knew she wouldn't finish in time. So I, and admittedly was dickish when I said "Hurry up, I'm not going to wait all night for you." To wit she replied "None of this crap will matter when I'm a surgeon!"
And I blurted out "You can't pipette to save your life, no one in the world is ever going to hand you a scalpel. You are too clumsy to be a surgeon and if you somehow become one, god help your patients." She pretty much cried quietly to herself the rest of the lab. She didn't mention becoming a doctor again the rest of the semester, and pulled a C+ in my section. Don't know what happened to her after that. | Clumsy pre-med in my Orgochem Lab section, I crushed her dreams of being a world class heart surgeon. |
t3_34j0s5 | tifu | TIFU by taking a dump in the urinal. | Like most stories on here this one did not happen today. In fact it happened two years ago during my freshman year of college.
I go to one of those colleges that requires you to live in the dorms your freshman year and I happened to live in the most disgusting guys dorms on campus. In fact one time i went to take a shower in the community showers and i found a dead rabbit on the floor, but thats a different story. Me and my roommate at the time were super bored on a saturday and we were daring each other to do stupid things like chug some mustard or pee in our friends sink (we were disgusting little fuckers). My roommate then proceeds to dare me to go into the bathroom and poop in one of the urinals. I very reluctantly agreed.
I then entered the bathroom and proceed to do my buisness in the urinal. Things were going great, no one was in the restroom and i was almost finished but then something terrible happened. The door opened and the cleaning lady for the dorm walked in... we made awkward eye contact and then she screamed and ran out. I finish very quickly and run out to see my roommate rolling on the floor laughing. Apparently he called the front desk to tell them someone had made a mess in the bathroom. Thats one very fast way to get kicked out of the dorms. | Made a bet with my roommate, did a no no in the urinal, cleaning lady walks in, fastest way to become homeless. |
t3_49m4ng | relationships | My [M28] ex [F27] says she doesn't owe me not that we are broken up. | We kept detailed records of our shared expenses so that we could make sure things eventually even out.
I paid for our groceries for a year while she was in school. Now that she's started her career she's been paying the groceries. Then we broke up. She still owes me about $2k.
I texted her to try and sort out a payment plan and she says this back: "So I've been thinking about this... When you were paying for stuff you said you didn't mind because when you were in a bind I'd help you out and that I could just pay for more once I started working. We never really had an agreement where if we were to break up I would owe you the balance. ." | Ex says she doesn't owe me now that we are broken up. Is there any strategy here? I'm not going to sue her. |
t3_za8jm | tifu | TIFU by dropping my cellphone in a 'Danger Zone' at Six Flags | I went to Six Flags (Jackson, NJ) this past Saturday. I got on the superman ride location. I had my cellphone in my pocket. Went through a sweet loop and felt something slip out of my shorts. Turns out it was my iPhone. Asked the employees what I could do. They said to file a lost/found report.
As I was getting off the, a couple friends and I saw where the phone had landed. It was inside of a danger zone which only Six Flags employees could access. We asked an employee who was around that area and he said he usually does the rounds at all the rides picking up items from danger zones. His name was Mike.
I went to file my report and gave as much information as I could. At this point, i used my wife's iPhone and logged into the "Find my iPhone app" and it showed up here: I showed them this image and they immediately knew the phone was in a danger zone and that no one would be able to access it until the next day when the park closes.
I went home thinking I would be fine because it would be returned to me because it was in a safe "Danger Zone". WRONG.
I checked the Find my iPhone app early Sunday morning just to see if they had grabbed it. To my dismay, it showed up here:
I was shocked. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There was only 1 explanation. An employee from Six flags, that has access these areas, stole the phone. I immediately called the Lost & Found office and told them that I had image proof that the phone was taken from a Danger Zone. They said they couldn't help me and that their employees wouldn't steal items.
At this point, I'm really pissed and don't know what to do. I tried contacting NJ Police but they didn't sound too happy about allocating resources into finding my phone. | Dropped my iPhone in a Danger Zone at the Superman ride at Six Flags, about 100% positive a douchebag employee stole it. |
t3_1ihx4p | relationships | Wondering if I [19/F] should try a long distance relationship with [22/M] | I got out of a long (~2 years) relationship back sometime in March. Since then I've enjoyed the freedom of being single. I've been on dates with a few people since then, but nothing serious. I play video games a lot online, usually with some "internet friends" of mine. I met this one in particular almost a year ago.
We have a lot in common, I can talk to him for hours about *whatever*, and we complement each other well. We realized we both liked each other, discussed it a bit, but given that we're far apart (like, across the country far apart) and there wouldn't be an opportunity for us to be together in the upcoming years - going to different colleges in different states -- basically said, "oh well, that's too bad." Being together would mean one of us giving up our current plans as far as schools and careers go, and while if we had already been in a relationship for a while I might be willing to do something like that, it's very scary to imagine initiating a relationship by throwing everything else aside.
But we still talk and do stuff online together, and it's hard to just bury what I'm feeling. We had another deep, touchy feely kind of conversation recently again and he asked if I love him. I asked if he really wanted an answer and he backed down. While I admire him more and more, *love* is a pretty serious word and I'm really not sure about it. But now I can't stop thinking about it. And him.
He will probably be able to visit me in a few months, and I think that if we decided to really commit, seeing each other every few months would be doable. I'm just afraid to get into a relationship both due to the fact that I know something long distance will be very hard to do (my parents were in one, though, so I can't say it's impossible), and that this is a time in my life where freedom is important to me (due to age and my recent-ish breakup). However, I'm pretty enamored with this guy and I'm afraid to let this chance slip by because I was too afraid. | I like a guy. He likes me. We live far away from each other. Wondering if a long distance relationship is worth it. |
t3_1krurp | relationships | Me[25F] with my boyfriend [28M] of 9 months: why haven't I met his parents yet? | My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been dating for 8-9 months. Met online last December, hit it off. After 5-6 months, I invited him to a family gathering where he met my parents. He's seen them several times since then (we all live in my hometown); they get along well.
His family lives about two hours away, but his parents have been in town once every-other month or so for various reasons. So far he has not invited me to meet them. I did meet his brother when he was staying with boyfriend for awhile, I've met all his friends and even his extended friend group at a college reunion.
Potentially relevant factors:
-I love him, but have not told him this yet (soon!)
-This is the longest relationship he's had so far
-I may possibly be moving 1hr-3hrs away next July for residency (we haven't yet discussed what this means for us, long distance, etc.)
So, I know the answer is that he'll introduce me to them when/if he's ready, and I shouldn't push the issue. But I WANT to meet them and it's bothering me. I wish I could just ask him about it, but I don't know how to. Reddit, am I being crazy? I appeal to the collective masses to help me figure out if and/or how I should bring this up!! | Haven't met boyfriend's parents but want to, he's met mine. Help me me figure out if/how I should ask him about this? |
t3_2nkpqe | relationships | Am I [27F] still relying on my ex [27M] if I can't go a day without using the things he bought me? | Please forgive me for any mistakes, this is my first post.
I broke up with my ex four months ago. We have been together for 5 years and he was given me a lot of gifts and purchased many things for me. This ranges from my designer glasses and sun glasses, stuffed animals, tablet, smartphone, internet hotspot, Macbook Pro, fancy/expensive office chair, nice clothes, designer bags, shoes, and paid for my cosmetics/skin care products. I've also been using his creditcard, *mostly* for state board exams, until I returned it 2 weeks ago.
I need to clarify that I'm *not* a gold digger. When we began our relationship we were both poor college students. Only he began making over $100k annually after graduation (3 years ago) while I have been unemployed since before graduating.
I'm seeing someone else right now, and my ex is trying to win me back. He argues that by me continuing to use the things he's given me, I'm still relying on him. While it's true that I can't go a day without using these things, does his argument have a leg to stand on? I've only started working part time for about 1 month now and can't afford to buy all new things (especially not to replace the electronics). | My ex is claiming that I'm still relying on him because I'm using things he bought me after we've broken up. I can't afford to replace the items and I find them to be necessities. |
t3_208dtg | relationships | My [21F] girlfriend is graduating college and wants me [25M] to move with her across the country. What do? | I've been dating my girlfriend for approximately six months, and she's graduating soon. Not sure how to handle that.
Some background. She's graduating from a college in my city, the same college I graduated from several years prior. Since I have graduated, I have built a life in the city - a network of friends, work acquaintances, stable employment, etc.
We met about six months ago, and we've gone through your typical relationship trials and tribulations since then. We love eachother, we've met eachother's parents, and the thought of not being with her breaks my heart.
At the same time, I don't want to drop my life here and start afresh in a larger city where I know no one, which neighborhoods to eat and live in, finding a job, etc. The idea of it being a shared experience is exciting; however, I can't help but feel that if things were to go south it would be sticky.
My friends say it would be a mistake, but I think it could be an adventure that could bring us closer together. | girlfriend is graduating, wants me to move to city with her across country, I'm invested in my current city, but I love her. What do? |
t3_2915f2 | relationships | My (28/m) GF (32/f) of 5 months told me something weird.. Don't know how to take it | Honestly, it's not a huge deal, I just want some clarity. We've been dating for 5 months and made it 'official' between us last week. She's told her friends. Her family knows.
How it happened? A life changing moment occurred and I was there for her the night it happened with everything. That's when she decided to make it 'official'.
It's only been a week, but her relationship status on FB remains 'single'. I changed mine. She commented and made a cute joke about it even. Then, We got on the topic about her status and I asked why she hasn't changed it. Her answer? 'Well, I'm still single. I'm not married.' She said that twice. I understand it but at the same time am confused? what that could mean? And why wouldn't she change it? Any idea?
She's a very independent woman, is a boss (literally) at her job, and isn't a big feelings person (although she has her moments). I thought maybe being in a relationship could hurt her work somehow? Or she's just a private person on social media? She's not active often. | girlfriend won't take down single status on FB. Tells me 'because she still is single. She isn't married'. What does that mean? |
t3_4eloh0 | relationship_advice | [27/M] Have successfully predicted 4 out of 5 breakups [M/F pairs between 19-24] - what to do? | Hello there! Throwaway for not exposing - even accidentally - any of the people involved.
Almost two years ago, I've asked about a relationship advice on this subreddit about a girl who was (and still is) in a relationship with an acquaintance and the general consensus here was that I (and anyone actually) won't be able to talk sense into a dysfunctional relationship and it's better to let it figure out themselves. Some commentators also insulted me for getting involved.
But it gets on: after that, there have been 4 other examples (so now 5 total), where I successfully predicted that the people involved are going to split, because they're simply too incompatible. And the one relationship that still sticks together is probably going to fail sometime in the future - when the two people involved will have more time to themselves and realize that (they only see each other on the week-end, while the guy sees another girl on a daily basis).
And now onto my problem. Two of these girls (out of 5), were actually really interested in me and I in them. But since I always listened to the advice to simply GTFO out of their life, what happened is that after one of them quit her relationship by finding another guy - one who wasn't so keen on simply letting others be (as I was). And I'm here thinking - "Why not me? Why did I listen and step aside?"
On the other hand, I had to go through some really big drama, because of the other males involved and the inability of said girls to hold their ground.
As it currently stands, I'm desperate. I'm trying to avoid getting to know any girls who are in any relationships, because if I find out the incompatibility of a pair, nobody's going to listen to me anyway and even hate me for trying to help them.
So, what would you do if you knew two people are incompatible to be together? How to tackle such a situation in order to prevent anger and drama?
Thanks for reading! | Predicted the breakup of 4 out of 5 romantic relationships and accumulated only hatred from men involved. How to change this? |
t3_444nyl | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Friend [18 F] who I fell in love with. | Hi!
I would like some opinions on my 'situation', so here we go.
I fell in love with a friend of mine about 3 months ago, when she had a boyfriend. I felt like she was flirting with me, but wasn't sure of it and waved it off as 'seeing things that aren't there'. I thought they had a long lasting relationship (they'd already been in one for a couple of years), and told her all my feelings towards her, just so I could move on more easily (or at least so I thought).
A couple of weeks after that, she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend. I was shocked, because 1: I thought they would have a relationship lasting for ages and 2: I just opened up to her like 200% and now she was 'single'...
I thought that was the end of our friendship, as most girls in my life had cut loose ties to me when I'd told them my feelings, but in this situation that didn't happen, it actually seems like we have even MORE contact now. But now I don't know how to interpretate 'signals' anymore, since she has an outgoing personality too..
I find it really hard to know, when she's ready to date again, and I'm scared someone else might make use of the opportunity when I'm waiting too long. | Opened up to a girl about my feelings, 2 weeks before she broke up with her boyfriend, kind of confused now... |
t3_1fru7y | relationship_advice | I (18/f) want to get back with my ex (18/m). | My ex and I were together for 6 months before he broke up with me in January. We have been best friends since birth and made a great couple. He broke up with me because I needed to deal with some issues in my life that were related to abuse growing up. He kept telling me to deal with these issues and I ignored it until he said that there was no moving forward in our relationship because I wasn't fixing anything. We have remained close since breaking up. I sought counseling and made some huge changes in my life. My family has as well and we are all better off for it. Now I want to get back together with him because he really is my best friend and I love him so much. He, on the other hand, says he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, and doesn't know if he ever wants to be with me because I hurt him. Obviously I should just move on, but really? Give up all those years of friendship and the love of my life? | I want to get back together but he doesn't even though we are best friends and we didn't end for any bad reasons. |
t3_oq6d8 | AskReddit | How do I fake an injury serious enough to get me out of 2 weeks of contract work, and how do I fool the most suspicious of parents? | Bit of background. I'm contracted to work for 2 more weeks as a utility at a mining camp. Basically all I do is clean toilets, maintain the yards and help the chef do dinner service in the evening. I wish to maintain a positive a reputation with the company I work with as possible so just quitting is out of the question. Another reason I can't do this is my parents would basically disown me. It's very important to them that I honour my obligations and so forth. The reason for me wanting to finish prematurely is honourable though. My girlfriend arrives back from South Africa on the 4th of Feb and I'm due to continue work from the 31st to the 14th of Feb. She is sad I will be away and has resigned herself to two weeks of loneliness in a city where she knows no one. I want to surprise her at the airport when she arrives and take her on a whirlwind romantic holiday I have planned and, at the end of it, propose to her. It is set up to be the most romantic week of her life.
Basically I need to fake an injury convincing enough to get me out of this shitty job and fool my parents. I was thinking of buying an arm brace and pretending I'd fractured my arm long boarding.
Please reddit, help me out here. For the sake of love. | I need to fake an injury convincing enough to save me from two weeks of cleaning toilets and deliver me into the arms of my loved one. |
t3_367nu4 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my close friend [30F] of 2 years duration, passionately made out but I'm not ready to be more than friends yet. Help! | So a few days ago me and my close friend went out for a few drinks. We ended up at her place at the end of the night and finished off some vodka. Needless to say we were both tipsy and things became more intimate. We started to make out with the most passion I've experienced in the past 5 years. However, the next morning she gives me an ultimatum - either we date or We never spend time together again. I'm at the point that I want to still remain friends although there is some attraction but I don't see myself becoming more than friends with her. I want to be fair to her and not lead her on but I don't want to lose her as a friend. She is a really amazing person and understands me fully and I always enjoy my time around her. I would hate to lose such a good person in my life, I just don't view her as being more than friends with her. We will be meeting to chat next week but havent been in contact with her since. What sort of things should i say or do at the meeting to get her to understand that close friends is the extent of our relationship. If anyone has been in this position before, any advice is appreciated! | Went to second base with my close friend but realized I cannot be more than friend with her. She says date or never see her again. |
t3_3cz83f | tifu | TIFU by trying to impress my friend | This is actually a few weeks old, but I have decided to post it now.
So a few weeks ago (while I was still in school), I had my hands full while walking.
My two best friends were standing outside of the class they were going into. Normally when we see each other we exchange a quick high-five as a quick "hello."
But, since my hands were full, I wasn't able to high five them.
**So I did the only rational thing.**
Instead of high-fiving them, **I headbutted their hands.**
They both looked at me sort of awestruck, wondering what just happened. I got embarrassed and quickly walked off. Now my friends won't let me live it down. | Hands were full, so instead of high fiving my friends, I headbutted their hands. Friends won't let me live it down. |
t3_3sequn | relationships | Me [30 M] with my Wife [27 F] of 2 years, getting hung up on my lack of sexual experiences compared to hers. | I've been married to my wife for nearly 2 years, been with her for about 5 years. She was my first real GF and my first regular sexual partner (3rd partner ever). Now that I'm 30 and married, I keep thinking about how little I've experienced sexually and I would like to go out and try some things with her. Meanwhile my wife describes her past experiences as 'Having tried about everything except for a three-way with two guys.'
The situation makes me feel a bit jealous, she's done so much and I've done so little, occasionally I can get her to talk about past experiences but anytime I bring up the idea of doing something now, she shuts down. Now that we're married I feel like if she says she's not willing then I'm just Shit-Outta-Luck in that department, which sucks!
I've tried bringing up the subject and asking her if there is anything 'different' she would like to try with me and/or someone else but every time I do, she clams up and says she 'Just wants a normal husband and kids' I get the feeling that she's either ashamed of her past, too embarrassed to talk about her wants sexually or she's afraid that she'll somehow lose me in the process. (Or all 3)
What can I do make my wife more receptive to the idea of sexual experimenting? | I've done little sexually, wife has done lots. I'm 30 and want to do some things but wife seems very reluctant, what can I do? |
t3_2pn76l | relationship_advice | Me [20 M] and My gf [20 F] for last than 1yr, broke up wf me 3 months ago, I just cant let go of her, what can i do to win her back ? | We were tgt for last than a yr.We used to love each other so much.I always thought she s the one.We were tgt most of the times in college, but then LDRs... She said that she gets tired and it has got nothing to do wf LDRs, said that she has changed.She told me its time to let go. I just dont understand why... I would do anything to win her back, I told her I can wait for her no matter how long but she rejected me immediately. Need. Should I wait for her ? Should I move on ? I think it is impossible for me to move on, I think of her everyday even though it hurts a lot. How to win her back ? Need advice and chat buddies. | What should I do now ? feeling lost and helpless .I have been waiting to see her for almost half a yr. |
t3_33qegw | loseit | [SV] First update to my flair. :D | So I gained weight slowly over three years from 20 to 23. Mostly from sitting around at work and not eating healthy at all, it just slowly crept up and up. This past year I've been trying so many different times to lose weight and had the biggest trouble sticking to anything. I don't know whats changed but ive finally found a balance in my diet and excersie that is working for me. Before, the longest i stuck to a change before giving up was like... 3 days. I personally felt I was pathetic and weak willed.
Come this Sunday, I will have finished 5 full weeks of sticking to my diet plan, eating better and working out. I am currently sticking to 1200 calories a day and trying to hit 300 calories work out each day, mostly from long dog walks. I weighed myself this morning, I felt good about it. I've tried to not weigh myself at all since I started. I knew it would come off slowly and if i didnt see a big enough change I was worried I'd break my resolve. But this morning I felt good, and ready to see how i was doing. I've lost 10lb! My total goal to lose is 42lb, I'm like a quarter of the way there! I'm so proud of myself. I know how hard people work on this thread, people who have harder goals than me and I have so much appriciation for anyone who is getting there, bit by bit.
Reading this subreddit has been so helpful. I love snooping on Progress Pics of girls with the same stats as myself. It is so encouraging and I'm just really happy. I can't see much of a difference in the mirror but i think thats just my own perception. Maybe when I'm halfway there I will post my own progress pics.
This subreddit has also helped me realise how staying fit and eating right is so so important, i mean i knew it was important but i'm really realising that i need to make a lifestyle change and I'm actually feeling excited about it. So thank you everyone on this subreddit. Here's to losing another 30lb! :D | Weighed myself first time since starting, lost 10lb! Really proud and its partly thanks to this wicked subreddit :D |
t3_263idk | relationships | Me [19 M] Getting possible mixed signals from my Girlfriends [20 F] sister [19 F] | Well my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now, and her sister that's my age has always been friendly with me.
Some people may see this as just friendly chit chat and stuff, but I feel like she is trying to get close to me but not in a friendly way.
I should say this now that my girlfriends sister hasn't had a boyfriend before, so I'm thinking that it could be that she's jealous that her sister got a boyfriend and she's still single. But maybe I'm just thinking too much about this.
I'm not looking to cheat on my girlfriend. I have no intentions on hooking up with her sister. If I need to talk to her sister about this, how could I approach this without hurting her too much or harming our friendship or my current relationship?
Thank you, and feel free to discuss as much as you want. | Getting mixed signals from girlfriends sister. She's never had a boyfriend before so I suspect that it could be out of jealousy. Need advice on what to do. |
t3_4iken1 | relationships | Me [20F] and my ex [20M/F] of 2.5 years broke up last October but we still love each other | after lots of family troubles and a need for space/individualism and personal growth (we started finding that our identities were so intrinsically wound around each other) our relationship started getting a bit toxic. sensing this, I broke up with him in October and explained why I was breaking up with him. A few months later he said he felt the same way but didn't have the guts to break up with me, though he's wanted to for a while. The breakup was amicable but painful for both of us. The feelings have never really gone away and if they have, only for a week or two maximum. I've tried to implement a long NC before being friends again (a few years) but he insists he doesn't want to. Recently, we've started to say 'I love you' to each other again though he feels that he isn't ready for a relationship yet and says he doesn't even know whether he wants to get back together, since he doubts whether we will have a happy future. This puts me in a grey area and I'm not sure how to respond. On my end, I do love him very much and would pick him over any other guy. But I can't keep waiting for nothing too, say if he eventually decides he doesn't want to get back together. When I ask him about his plans he says he doesn't intend to date anyone else and would rather be a bachelor than be with someone else he doesn't love. Any advise? :/ | ex and I broke up half a year ago, feelings never left, he doesn't want to try again at the moment. what now? |
t3_dnzgb | AskReddit | Landlord trouble.... not sure where I stand. | Myself and my girlfriend had been looking at apartments for a couple of weeks when we finally found somewhere we really liked. Nice area, good amount of space etc. We told the letting agent that we were interested, but that we'd also need some items of furniture removed so that we'd have room for our own TV etc.
The following day I contacted them saying I'd like to take the property as discussed. They asked for a holding deposit in order to allow them to take the property off the market while we sorted out references, lease etc. This deposit they said would be refundable should the landlord have a problem with our references which they did not think likely. I was keen to take the apartment and had found the estate agent very helpful and professional so I paid the deposit of €500.
A few days later I contacted the estate agent and outlined the items we would like out of the apartment prior to signing the lease (one bed and an old television set) They informed me that they had been in touch the landlady (who lived abroad) and that if we wanted any furniture removed we would have to do so at our own expense AND for some reason pay an extra €100 a month rent...
Obviously I said that I couldn't accept these terms. The estate agent then informed me that the landlady is notoriously difficult and apologized for the situation. Alarm bells started ringing, the last thing I want is a difficult landlord, the question is... has paying the holding deposit which apparently is "non refundable" left me effectively toothless in negotiating the terms of the lease?
My take on this is that I paid the holding deposit on the grounds that the rent would be €(x) and that we would have some furniture removed. Now it seems that rent will be €(x) + €100 and (fu£k you). Surely changing the terms that we had verbally agreed entitles me to my deposit back? Please help!
(country: Ireland) | when renting does paying a holding deposit leave you effectively toothless in negotiating the terms of the lease? What if they start going back on what you had verbally agreed? |
t3_3r5zhj | relationship_advice | I [21 F] don't want to talk to a BF's ex or even see them for more information and when a friend suggested that to me, I was like why do people do that?! | I'm not the type of girl to be "hating on" a boyfriend's ex...as long as she is not in the picture anymore, why should I waste my energy on that? I also don't compare myself to a BF's ex...they are broken up and not together anymore no matter how good she was at something obviously he's not with her for other reasons.
I had a falling out for a while with my BF and during that time, a friend of mine suggested I should message one of his ex-LTR to see if he was like this all the time.
I responded, "Why the heck would I want to message a girl that used to sleep with and date my boyfriend? I don't even want to be in the same room as a previous fling much less start beef with her." | Has anyone ever messaged an old fling of your bf/gf to see if they acted like that with everyone they ever dated? |
t3_3amamq | relationships | Why do I (M26) always lose interest in my GFs after a while? | I've had a few long term relationships before, and this keeps happening. We fall in love, everything is perfect, sex is great, but after a while (a few months, or a year) I just lose interest. I only fantasize about other girls, sex just doesn't interest me anymore, etc. This kills the relationship after a while.
It has happened with my previous GF as well. We were together for 4 years. She was perfect, sex was great at first, we were living together, but I slowly lost interest.
After the inevitable breakup, I have met my current GF, Lisa. I was in love, like never before. After we started dating, for months I couldn't think of anyone else, the only girl in my fantasies was her. I have never felt anything like this before. And I was terribly afraid that it's going to happen again.
Now we have been together for more than a year, and I am starting to feel like I am losing interest again. I don't want to lose her. She is perfect for me. But I start to feel the same things as with my ex - losing interest in sex, fantasizing about other people, and so on. Even my fear of losing interest is making me lose interest, if this makes sense.
I don't want to lose her, and I am afraid that there must be something wrong with me. What do I do? | I keep losing interest when in long-term relationships. What do I do so that it doesn't happen with my current GF? |
t3_5292r8 | relationships | My [21F] father [45M] hasn't talked/seen me since he divorced my mom when i was 10.Now it's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend[21M]of 3 years. | When i was 10 years old,my mom and i caught my dad several times cheating on her with his secretary,who was a divorced woman with a boy of my age.He didn't allow us to visit him at his office much,but when we did,he showed more care and love to that boy rather than to his own girl.
It was a painful process.we moved to my grandparents house...My mom decided not to marry again till i grew up.She dedicated her entire life to me,in order to make me a good person.
So all those years i worked hard to make my mom proud.I graduated on top of my class,and recently graduated law school.But you see,as a teenager i didn't want a boyfriend...I've built walls around me so no one(boys) could come near me.I didn't want to get hurt nor ruin my life over a boy...After all,i was the girl whose father abandoned her over a woman,and even didn't make the effort to see me once all those years.I didn't want to get hurt even more.
Now,I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years.He has been my best friend since middle school.It took him 6 month in order to break the walls that I've built.Im sure he's the one for me,i dont want to be with anyone else.But the shadow of my dad's actions is affecting my relationship with him .My boyfriend is the most loyal person in the world but i keep on doubting him,and i always turn out to be wrong.And much other issues due to my insecurities.He was ok with all of this because he understood my problems.Until recently i feel like he's had enough with my actions which are due to my insecurities.
Many times I've decided not to let that "complex " rule me...But trust me,it keeps on appearing in my head,the idea of an unloyal and uncaring dad.
I need advices please. | My dad abandoned me when i was 10,and haven't even bothered to ask about me...this created some insecurities in me and it's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. |
t3_4u1ent | personalfinance | Unexpected expense, and a $2000 Debt (CC). | I keep my CC balance around $200 and usually pay it down when it gets higher, and bill time comes and I pay it off. Unfortunately I had to get my shocks and struts fixed on my car putting my current credit card balance up to a nice $2408.93 I used my saving money to get is as low as $1200 when I had to pay my remaining bills putting it back up to $1983.77. I make about $1000 a month and currently have a 18% interest rate on my CC and have a monthly nut of about 800 that I have to pay. Not to mention about 120 for gas. I am currently going to school and work full time at a burger joint, when I reached out to my family no one could help, but it was suggested that I get a personal finance loan for to help pay everything down, and then pay that off before the grace period ended so I wouldn't have to keep paying interest on my CC. Would this be a wise option for me to pursue or is there a better way that I could go about this? | I have 2K debt on a credit card, should I get a personal finance loan to pay it off, and pay down the loan in the grace period to avoid paying only interest? |
t3_1xjy6e | relationships | Me [24 M] Can't get over my [24 F] Ex/gf of 5.5 years, still lost without her 3 years later. | It's been 2 and a half to 3 years since me and my ex girlfriend split up and I can't seem to move on or get over her. She still haunts my dreams turning them into nightmares. I don't know how to let go or move on. She was the only thing that made things made me feel safe and secure and I'm just completely lost with out her. I don't know how I'm going to start over with someone else I don't know how I'm supposed to just forget her.
I had a fucked up childhood and I have dysfunctional parents who take their shit out on me and I've lost the only good thing I had. I work out like crazy and I'm in the best shape of my life on the outside but on the inside I still just feel lost, empty, hurt, alone and I just don't know what to do. I've lost all my confidence, self esteem and any self worth I had. I don't know if I can even start over in a new relationship, I'll just be terrified of that person leaving like she did and I know it's completely unreasonable to expect anyone to be there for me forever.
I don't know what to do anymore people of reddit. I thought it would be getting easier now after this long but it still hurts so badly so often. I feel like a weak little bitch and that a man should be able to just move onto someone else and be okay. But i'm not. I feel like it's getting harder to cope shit instead of easier. I don't know what to do anymore. Please, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks. | It's been 2 and a half to 3 years since me and my ex split up and I still can't get over her/move on. |
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