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t3_1kbizc | relationships | A thank-you to everyone in this community, you are all amazing humans. | When I [21/M] first joined this community, I was broken, in pieces, and had no idea where to start with the healing process of getting over my ex. Today I post to this community for the last time.
Ive actively been commenting and offering my advice for the last 3 months to those in need just like I was, it provided an escape, and helped me re-enforce the reasons why I was better off now than before. So many of you give such amazing life advice and helped me so much either directly or indirectly, and I am so thankful for this community of healing and self-improvement. Today I leave this subreddit as I no longer need the escape, its time to move on for good.
To those who are just starting the healing process, have been dealing with it for a while, or to anyone who cant shake the pain. Remember you are an incredible person, you're in the situation you are in because you're on your way to become a stronger and better person, never give up, and never stop chasing happiness.
I'M FREE ! :) | Y'all sexy ass people have helped me so much with my issues, but it's time to move on. Thank you everyone! |
t3_1i60wt | travel | I want to go to Europe but I can only go between Christmas and New Years. Any suggestions on how to do it without going overbudget? | Ok, so here's a little background, I'm now living in Brazil, and I just got a new job. I found out that the company shuts down for ten days for the holidays, and me and my wife have been planning to go to Europe during that time. We know travelling during the holidays is expensive, and we don't want to spend too much to travel, but I'm not entitled for another vacation until next June.
Another thing is, my brother is living by himself in Amsterdam so it would be great to spend the holidays with him, but if we wait until next year, he moves back to Brazil and it'll be difficult to see him again.
What would be the best way to go about travelling those dates without spending too much? We're open to staying in hostels, couchsurfing, etc. | Want to go to Europe really bad this year but can only do it during the holidays, any tips so the trip is not so expensive? |
t3_47lccp | relationships | My boyfriend (24M) doesn't have a single friend and it bothers me (25F)! | I'm sure it sounds ridiculous, but it makes me feel awful.
He doesn't talk to his co-workers, he doesn't talk to classmates, he doesn't talk to anyone we went to high school with... he legitimately has nobody in his life but me, his parents, and his dog, and it's strange to me. I'm not a social butterfly by any means, I'm actually quite shy in my own right, but he makes me look like a socialite by measure.
His life consists of class, work, the gym, and his Playstation 4. He occasionally goes for walks by himself, but when he's not with me, he's always alone and I don't know why it bothers me. He's not clingy or jealous or possessive or anything either. He doesn't have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, anything of that nature.
He gets asked to hang out sometimes, but he ALWAYS declines. The other day some co-workers asked him to go to a sporting event to see a team he adores AND HE REFUSED! Instead of watching his favorite team play, he stayed home and ended up watching the game on TV!
It really just blows my mind. I told him it's really weird that he's never spent the night at a friend's house or been to a single party. He's said that's just how he is and how he'll always be. I can understand not being BIG into it, but he has 4 contacts in his phone. His parents, his work, and me. Is that not weird? Am I crazy for wanting him to have some kind of social connection besides me?
Hell, sometimes he'll even go 4 or 5 days without answering *MY* texts. I really can't wrap my brain around him and I'm unsure why it disturbs me so much. Any insight?
We've talked about it a few times and he just says he really doesn't like talking and he can't stand most people, but I find that hard to believe. How can you just not like anybody? | Boyfriend is bordering on social recluse, and it's so strange. Is it wrong of me to want him to have *some* kind of life outside work/school/gym? |
t3_1fifcl | AskReddit | What can you do for someone who loses her significant other in a tragic accident? | One of my friends passed away in an accident. My other friend had been dating him for some time. The three of us were best friends as children, we share a lot of memories.
I live in another country now, I'm very far away. Last summer I was able to go home and visit, and I got to see them while I was home, but it was the last time I saw or spoke to either of them.
What can I do for my friend, who obviously needs support at this horrible time? I am sure she is overwhelmed and completely heart-broken, I cannot even imagine what she is feeling. I am afraid to call her and make her talk about it if she doesn't want to talk about it. She is probably receiving a lot of phone calls, and I don't want to make her feel harassed.
I sent her a message via Facebook (I didn't have her number yet) to tell her how sorry I am, that I love her, etc. She didn't reply, which is absolutely understandable. Facebook would be the last thing on my mind, and I'm sure she had a barrage of messages.
What do you do for someone who's just lost her significant other and childhood best friend? From across an ocean? | My two friends were dating, one of them passed in an accident. I want to show my support and help her through this, but I am so far away. |
t3_4rs1h9 | tifu | TIFU by playing the pass out game | This was back in 8th grade, in wood shop class. My friend, (let's call him Kyle) taught my other friend, ( let's call him Mike) and I, how to make ourselves black out. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. A simple process of kneeling down, hyperventilating, then standing up after about 30 seconds and putting your thumb in your mouth and blowing (like blowing air into a balloon) then you gain consciousness a few moments later. Me being my curious and stupid self, it sounded fun at the time, so of course I tried it in the middle of the class period. So I do everything Kyle told me to do, and just like he said, I woke up from consciousness with my head down on the table. We were all laughing and entertained by this stupid thing to do. So Mike told me to do it again, so I thought okay no big deal, this is kind of fun. So I go through the steps again, and this is where the major fuck up happens. I wake up laying flat on my face, slowly regaining my vision and hearing. I look up from the concrete floor to see the entire class and the teacher circled around me. At this point I was thinking "Oh shit this is not good". My teacher grabs me by the arms and pulls me up and walks me to the bathroom to wash my face off. I didn't know why I needed to do that until I saw my face when I looked in the mirror. My mouth and nose were covered in blood, and my tongue kept poking something sharp. I open my mouth to see two of my teeth chipped completely in half. Fast forward about 45 minutes, and my mom shows up, and she is *livid*. She takes me to the dentist to see what they can do, and I get an appointment to get my teeth fixed two weeks later. Needless to say the bill wasn't cheap. And that's my story of making myself pass out in wood shop and costing my mom a lot of money to fix my teeth. | My friend taught me how to make myself pass out in wood shop class, and I wake up with 2 teeth broken in half after doing so, costing my mom a good amount of money to get them fixed. |
t3_gmiu1 | relationships | drop college for girlfriend or drop girlfriend for college? | I've been with my current girlfriend for the past 3 years, and the entire time it's been a long distance relationship. I met her when I was still in the Navy stationed in Japan (she's Japanese), and for some miraculous reason, we managed to hold a relationship for this long. I've been in school for the last year or so and have about 3 more years left until I graduate. Lately (being about the last 6 months) me and her have been discussing what is to come of our relationship. She's 26 and I'm 24 and she really wants to start a family. There's nothing wrong as far as trust, family, friends and chemistry between us so the thought of marriage doesn't scare me. However one thing she says she cannot do is wait 3 more years for me to graduate. Every time this topic comes up she always tells me that I'm the only persons she's ever been in love with, this is the best relationship she's ever been in and that even though we would have a great family together, she needs to start her family soon because she's going to be into her 30's by the time we get around to it if I go my path. She basically gave me an ultimatum the other night telling me that I need to either move to Japan within the next year or so, or we can't do this anymore. When I asked her about the money issues and such, she told me that I could find work out there as an English teacher (something that doesn't really interest me at all) and she would continue her job working as a financial planner at her bank. Now I absolutely love this girl, however any other options I bring up she shoots down pretty quickly, and that if I loved her this shouldn't even be a problem. I'm not sure what to do reddit, I'm absolutely in love with this girl but I don't know how I can find any balance or sense in this. What are your thoughts? | Currently in long distance relationship with Japanese girl. She wants me to drop out of college and move to Japan so we can start family. |
t3_1wzgku | relationships | Update: I [20] told this girl [19] I wanted to be more than friends last night | Previous Threads:
We started out when I took her to dinner in the beginning of January. From there, we have gotten together for a bunch of study session despite my prodding to do things more fun.
Last night, I was helping her get ready for an interview. I had brought up Valentines day recently and asked her what she was doing for it and that we had to go out on another date. She agreed only stating that it couldn't be on Valentines Day because she had plans with her parent.
After we finished and I was walking home, I felt there was a lack of clarity. I texted her that, to be clear, I wanted to be more than friends. She replied stating that the problem is that she recently got out of a relationship and she's very closed off.
Does anyone have any thoughts that help clarify what she means? It seems to me like she wants to date but has not fully recovered from her last relationship.
Thanks! | been dating a girl and told her I wanted to be more than friends, she is "closed off" because of a recent breakup |
t3_4m4sp4 | relationships | Me [24M] with my wife [35F], she just booked an appointment for me to get my hair dyed because I have grey hair | Ever since I was about 20 my hair had some grey strands, and now at 24 I've noticed that it's getting worse. It doesn't bother me, I wish it wasn't going grey but I've learned to live with it. My wife however is very frustrated that I won't do anything about it. For the last couple months she has been begging me to get it dyed, ether professionally or just buying the home kit, but I've always said that was ridiculous.
I found out last night that she booked me a hair appointment without my permission. I asked why she did it and she said she's embarrassed about my hair and that she's hair trying to help me. I said she was acting crazy and immature, but she insisted I go. We argued for about half an hour before she finally gave up.
What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't want my wife to be upset, and I don't even care about getting it dyed it's just ridiculous She got this worked up over it. It's just hair. Should I just get it dyed? If I dye it have to do it all the time which is gonna get expensive. | my wife is embarrassed by my grey hair and booked a hair appointment to fix it without my permission, I wouldn't go and now she's angry and upset. |
t3_2ed3s8 | relationship_advice | Trust issues from both sides - What to do?! | Recently my wife [25] and I [26] have been going through some trust issues and I don't want them to ruin our relationship.
I, through pure chance, found out she was letting the curiosity of sex with other people get the better of her. She has never cheated (I 100% trust and believe her) but said the thoughts were getting harder and harder to ignore.
As a result, I spun into a bit of a bad place mentally. I lost all trust immediately and found myself checking her internet history, emails, chat logs. Even her Reddit account.
She's now saying that it's disgusting that I'm checking up on her and I don't know what to do. When I last checked her online activity I told her and she got really angry and I vowed to myself to never check again. It was making me feel sick. It's not healthy and I never want to be to be 'that guy'. But I'm really struggling.
She's now told me she is speaking with some guy she met online through Reddit (though assures me nothing sexual or untoward), is spending more time with her friends than ever (leaving me alone at home), and seems generally closed to me. She tells me that she has things that she needs to vent about, and that she should be able to keep things from me. She has assured me that she isn't hiding anything bad but I'm stupidly convincing myself there is something, even though I believe her.
What do I do? I'm so lost. I love her with all my heart, and I do trust her (even though it doesn't sound like it). It all seems to be a mentality problem on my behalf.
Also, I kind of hope she sees this? I've spoken with her face to face, but maybe seeing this would help. . . | I love my wife. She is my best friend. I want to be with her forever, but I want to shake this worry in my mind. Any advice? |
t3_2l08nk | relationships | I [26F] have feelings for someone [28M] who lives on a different continent. How do I figure out whether this is worth the trouble? | So /r/relationships, this is not a situation I ever expected to find myself in, but life is full of surprises.
I live in Western Europe and in September went out to my company's headquarters which is on the West Coast of the US. Whilst there, I unexpectedly hit it off with one of my colleagues who works in a different team to me.
Although nothing physical happened, we've been chatting and video chatting up a storm and have both recently admitted we really like the other. Talking to him makes me incredibly happy; we can both just talk nonsense for hours on end. We share a ton of the same interests, he listens to me, he really makes me laugh and he's sweet as fuck. I'm usually down-to-earth, but honestly I'm pretty enamoured.
I'm going back there at the end of Nov, then again in Jan/Feb. After that, I'll probably be out there 2-3 times a year. My company offers "unlimited holiday" within reason, so I could add some holiday onto each trip or he could travel himself.
At this point, all we've said is that my being back in December should be a litmus test. I think the chances are good, though, that we'll just end up liking each other even more, which leaves us in the position of figuring out whether a relationship with a 9 hour time difference is worthwhile.
I'm really looking for advice on figuring out whether it's worth it. This is someone who so far makes me happier than I've been in as long as I can remember, but solid relationships are built from a lot more than great conversation. How do I figure out whether this is someone who it'd be worth making the necessary sacrifices for? Has anyone had similar experiences and, if so, how did you make things work (if they did indeed work)? Am I insane for even considering this? :-/
Please help me figure out some kind of plan of action /r/relationships! | Finding myself really really into someone who lives very far away. He feels the same. Realistically we could see each other 4-6 times a year. How do I figure out if it's worth it? |
t3_22jf0v | offmychest | My friend needs to dump his girlfriend | I'm in college. It's the same college as my best friend from high school, living in the same apartment.
Freshman year, my friend "Alex" met "Alice." They quickly became a couple, and she was his first real relationship.
At first I thought it was good, but as I got to know her I grew to resent her. She was a bad student, and a major partier, I'm talking Thursday to Sunday non-stop drinking. Early on, she had a job, but was fired over the summer, so first semester this year she was just drinking my friend's stuff.
She was kicked out of school after last semester, and moved to her hometown around 8 hours away to "get a job because college is some bullshit." She tried to get Alex to come with her and drop out. Her life has become a downward spiral, she has started doing harder and harder drugs, and recently Alex and her were fighting because she started doing heroin fairly regularly.
She has been a bad influence. Alex rarely went out rarely before meeting her, but afterwards went out with her every time because she made it clear that if he did not she saw it as him agreeing to allow her to fuck other guys. I know she actually cheated on him at least twice.
Alex has also started hanging out with a worse group. I'm not a prude- I drink and smoke weed/the occasional trip or dose of ecstasy- but these new people are just not sober the majority of the time. Several are addicted to hard drugs, heroin and meth mostly, and it's not a good scene.
We grew up together, and are very good friends. It is not jealousy, while I am female there has never been any attraction between us, I just don't want to see him messed up in this. His dad died four years ago of a heroin overdose, and I'm just scared I will see him quickly go down that road. It's one of the reasons he decided to go all the way to Washington state for college (from Alabama). | friends girlfriend pisses me off, I think she is using him for money and is leading him towards a dangerous path. |
t3_2cmcdg | relationships | Me [28 M] with [28 F] for 2+ years. Love my gf but keep thinking about MTF transgender women. | I've been living with my girlfriend for over two years. I love her to death and want to marry her soon.
She doesn't know about anything that follows: Well before we started dating, I realized I was very attracted to transgender women but never got a chance (or worked up the courage) to date one before I met my current gf. I created a fake fb profile to talk to transgender girls before our relationship as well so I could at least talk to them.
I've started talking to one girl who lives in my city with this account and just came clean to her that I'm not who my profile says I am. I keep wanting to ask her to meet up but I really don't want to cheat on my gf and ruin what I've built with her and what I want to continue building. I can't help my urges for transgender women and I don't want to cheat, what can I do? | 2+ year relationship, I like transgender girls but don't want to cheat or break up. What can I do? |
t3_2kh7tk | relationships | Recently I [18 M] and my SO [16 F] broke off a 1 year relationship | Me and my SO broke up and it's been hard, I guess like any breakup. The relationship was fine and we still love each other but the past month has been pretty bad. We have been fighting over the stupidest of things and I realize that I became quite cold towards her and it must have hurt.
I regret so much and I want her back because I think it can work. She told me it isn't like her feelings have changed it's just she was tired of the fighting and I feel the same way but I feel it's a waste to give up on her now. Because I go to college in a different city we have a bit of a distance so I was thinking of writing her a letter telling her how I feel instead of calling/texting. I did call her a couple times after and we talked about it but never talked about getting back together. She said she had talked to her friend about it and had decided it was best to just move on. It is a very important year for her as it is the year that will decide which colleges she can get into.
I don't miss the fighting but I miss her A LOT like I've dated a lot and I've never felt this way about any girl, I would do anything for her. Should I give up on her or should I be persistent and write the letter!
I understand that i'm young but I don't want anybody else my gut is telling me that it's her. I feel like even if we breakup eventually we'll end up back together. (wishful thinking! ;)) | Me and my girlfriend broke up. I miss her. We stopped talking for a bit. Should I write her a handwritten letter with all my feelings in it and mail it or just give up? |
t3_1ozz48 | relationship_advice | Reddit, what can I do to win her back? | What would you guys do if you could have her/him back? I am in a really heart wrenching situation and it'll be great if I could hear some of your stories, as well as share mine.
My story:
We lived together for a good 3 years. Now, I begged her to give me one month to try and turn things around. She says she will consider it. In hindsight, I shouldn't have begged. I'm an idiot.
Now, the reason this happened is really because of me. I initiated and told her that we're over (because I found out that she was friends with an ex that caused a lot of problems in our relationship early on). I admit I overreacted because she wasn't even speaking to him. I told her we're over, but I completely regret it and hate that I always act on impulse.
We're officially broken up but I want her back because I truly love her. She still lives with me. There were times where we broke up, but we made up within a day. This time, she isn't joking and I don't see her changing her mind. Deep down, I know she still has some feelings for me, although she has lost a lot.
Some of the reasons why she does not have feelings for me anymore is because I was pretty anti-social and conceited. I also don't "try" anymore to be a couple. Both her and I felt like it was building up and it exploded last night.
I come to you guys because i have nowhere else to go... what can I do in one month to win her back? Some things I am doing so far:
1.I'm writing her a card for our 4 year "anniversary" (on the 31st of Oct)
2.I bought her a very nice set of earrings from Tiffanys.
3.I'm planning to go to a haunted house with her, as friends...
I know this doesn't have many details but if anyone is interested, I will try and edit this post later on. | Royally messed up our relationship because of stupid jealousy issues, this led to all our built-up problems and exploded. What can I do to win her back? |
t3_1y6ijb | AskReddit | What has been the most effective way/method of studying for YOU? | You've heard the story before, I'm a college student who did great in high school without studying at all hardly, but now I'm in college and crap hit the fan.
My first year was horrible (.8 GPA first semester due to a lot of different stuff going on) and so far I've managed to salvage that to a 2.5 overall. But I'm still not satisfied.
This is the first semester I've been disciplined and devoted enough to spend a lot of time in the library (actually ACTIVELY studying or so I think) yet I'm not doing significantly better than when I would just cram for my exams. It seems like the extra time in the library isn't really worth it for the amount my grade is increasing.
So now I'm caught up in the whole finding a way to study that is most conducive to me thing and it's hard to see what methods are most efficient when you have a bunch of off-name websites and sources crediting them as being the ONE. So i've decided to turn to reddit.
HELP ME, I'm getting desperate. | It seems like the harder I study the less affective the studying actually is. I'm helpless right now. What have you found works for you? |
t3_2u2eo3 | Parenting | Co-sleeping with a 2 week old baby. Need advice on how to convince my wife it's a bad idea. | So our son was born on the 18th. My wife, being the oldest on 13 children, thinks having a lot of siblings makes her an expert on babies. Tonight after she was done nursing and the baby had fallen asleep, she got mad when I tried to take the baby to his bassinet (about 3 feet from the bed.)
Now, neither my wife or I are large people, but we sleep in a full size bed and she had a c-section less than 2 weeks ago. I tried to argue that the baby sleeping in the bed with us was dangerous for many reasons, but her "experience" says otherwise. Once again, she has never been a mother, only an older sister. I tried researching the subject, but once again her "experience" is more definitive than even the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendations.
So now it's 4:30 AM. I'm on Reddit and sleeping on the couch because I assume mother+baby in bed is less dangerous than mother+father+baby in bed.
I'm not sure how to convince her that she's putting the baby at risk and she is not the best listener in the world. Any advice would be appreciated. | Wife wants infant son to sleep in the bed with us even though we spent money on a bassinet, a crib, a baby monitor and various beddings, and refuses to acknowledge that it would be putting the baby at risk. |
t3_49y1q4 | relationships | Am I (17 m) being a ignorant towards my (16 m) friend? | To start off, I have known this kid for about a year, when I met him, it was then that my depression had truly begun and led me down a dark path where I didn't want to do anything and lost all sorts of motivations.
We've hung out on and off, I'd go to his house a lot, and one thing I cannot stand is people that look down upon me, and that is what I feel him and his family do towards myself. They're very wealthy in comparison to us, and seem to feel bad for us.
Anyways, I knew they felt this way when they showed up to our door one day with a ton of groceries. At this point, I began to resent them for doing that, I felt powerless and not worth a damn. Also, i once made the mistake of opening up to him about some of the stuff I go through, and he tries to act like he has it tough, this kid has extremely loving parents, no mental disorders, they're financially stable, and can afford to do whatever... I cannot, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Anyways, I'm at the point where I've nearly pushed everybody out of my life due to jealousy of never being invited to things, being looked down upon, and ridiculous reasons. I don't know what to make of this whole thing. Am I the one being irrational? Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated. | Ignoring and being rude to "friends" because I believe they have alterior motives and don't care, am I being unrealistic? |
t3_1gqlz9 | dating_advice | I (19m) am going head over heels for this person (21f) | I just started my new job, and have been talking to this girl for 7 weeks, and I like her more and more every week. She surprises me in the smallest but best ways, and I know for a fact she likes me because she told me. The only problem is she is in the College Program that my job allows (in other words colleges from around the U.S. and even other countries come to work here for a little while, and get college credit). This means she isn't even from here and will be leaving back home in August. Plus she has a boyfriend up there. I do know that she is experiencing troubles with him and it really bothers me seeing her upset, mad, or troubled.
The distance we could potentially have doesn't bother me. The only thing that does is, is me liking her even completely worth it in the end because I honestly don't know what could happen. | Really like a girl who is not from my state, and has bf, but I know she likes me, need help |
t3_2w6fd7 | relationships | We (Me=M18, Her=F18) don't talk for months at a time, I want to talk. But I think she's moved on. | Holla! Throw away because she is an avid Reddit user!
So yeah, just as the title explains. My friend (use that term loosely) and I don't talk anymore. I've known her for 3 years and for the first two years, we talked on a regular basis. Talked about everything, everyone, divulged secrets etc. Then one day, I became less scarce and distanced myself because well...we kind of ran out of things to say. I found it hard to maintain a conversation because we had talked about EVERYTHING! Anyway, after that, we talked maybe...once every 2 months? Usually she initiated and i'd cut it short because, once again, nothing new to talk about.
With that out of the way, she got a boyfriend and i'm really happy for them! :) I met him once and he actually used to go to my old school! After that, we talked very rarely. I'd love to talk to her more regularly but the thing is, since we usually talk so...'spaced', i'm sure she'll find it odd if i talk to her on a regular basis.
I've got mixed feelings because she wants to bring me along with friends to Spring Break. So i guess that's a good sign...?
So yeah. My two things i would like sorted out are...
1. Is it too late to start talking again?
2. What do i do in terms of the content of our conversations? Nothing new really to say...
3. Anything else i should do?
Thanks <3 | Friend and i that used to be close with, haven't talked for a while and want to talk to her again. |
t3_y6c8p | Cooking | I've been out of town for a week, and I came back, baked something, and my oven was extremely smoky? | First of all, allow me to apologize for the grammatical errors in this post. It's not characteristic of me to litter my posts with grammatical erratum.
Second of all, my oven is super smoky. I have been out of town for a week, and I came back home today. I preheated my oven to 400, and, as soon as I opened it, a bunch of smoke came out. I let it preheat for a while longer, and it stilled seemed to have a bunch of smoke, although the smoke dissipated over time. What could have caused this? My apartment smells like shit? Can you help? | The quesadillas that I made were deliciously smoky. Goat cheese and spinach quesadillas are the shit! |
t3_w1gzd | offmychest | Water Problems at Home | Last night our well ran dry!
So my Papa and I attached hose after hose to run water from the barn to the house, but then the house faucet exploded. Luckily, another faucet held up for the night.
This morning a hose split from the pressure. Papa ran out and got a new one, but now it's leaking.
We have new filters, but the water is still murky and smells worse than the pool -- our dogs even rejected the water we poured for them and drank out of the pool.
I got out paper plates, forks, and cups because we can't run our washer and we have too big of a family here to just let it all go to the sink (I stood there for forty minutes cleaning up after breakfast). We had someone come look at the situation, but he said he can't get a new well in this week and warned not to take more than a five, maybe ten minute shower until then.
My mom brought some water from the store home for now... | Our well dried up and the water from the barn isn't going to hold out forever. The well man won't be out until at least next week. |
t3_t8rxz | AskReddit | Reddit, what was your most awkward moment with an adult when you were young? | I am on my high school's cross country team, and of course with sports like this, after away meets, generally we use whichever school's showering facility we can to clean up before leaving.
I am normally one of the last kids to finish, as I take my good ol' time unchanging, showering, and then drying off and changing again. As everybody else was pretty much finished dressing, our coach walks in, while I'm still bare ass naked and wet, trying to get to my towel.
Now, this man walks faster than most can jog. He charges up to me as if he is a professional linebacker and stops and stares me in the eyes.
"Terry son" (my nickname, he likes to call us sons of his. Necessary information)
"Yes?
"Can you do me a favor?" (I'm still bare ass naked)
"Uhhh, sure."
"Walk in and turn off all those showers..... I'll treat ya."
Wary of this "treating," I still do this on good terms, and exit again, all wet again. When I left the showers, I saw everybody else had enough time to leave. Still dripping wet, fully exposed, he charges me again.. and gives me $5.00. I thanked him and hurried my dressing. | I'm naked from showers, coach walks in and asks me a favor, saying he'll treat me. I abide to his question and he pays me $5. |
t3_2wyhl5 | relationships | My [25/F] boyfriend [26M] of 1 year has recently been testing my trust in him and his new friend [23F]. | About a month ago, my boyfriend met a girl at work and they started to text each other nonstop. She stopped working there when her school started back up but they have kept in contact ever since. At the beginning, every time I was with him he was texting her. It got to the point where I just flat out asked why he texting her so much when we were clearly having alone time together because it felt really strange of him to be giving her so much attention. He said she was just a friend and that there was nothing to worry about. It never sit right with me that a girl he knew less than a few weeks, who was fully aware that he had a girlfriend, could text him this frequently. I'm not exaggerating when I say they have day long conversations, morning to night. Flash forward a month and he says she can't possibly like him because she asked him for relationship advice. She has been saying things like "you're so honest with me, you just know me so well..." which makes me feel like she is trying to hint ever so slightly that she wants him. My boyfriend appears clueless when I confront him about this and he wants me to believe that I'm worrying over nothing. But I do, he gives her quite a lot of attention via social media (very active on her instagram/twitter/facebook accounts) and the constant texting. Am I really overthinking this? Or should I be questioning my trust in him? He's a friendly guy, and has been in situations like this before. He's exchanged numbers with girls who clearly are interested in him and acts like it's no big deal. I really don't know what to do in this situation because in his eyes I look controlling but I'm really just trying to protect myself from getting hurt. Reddit, let me know how to handle this. | Boyfriend met a girl and started texting her nonstop. Girl seems interested, boyfriend doesn't think I should worry. Help! |
t3_3gifnk | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [26M]- need some advice! How do you handle small arguments before they snowball into something bigger? | Hey /r/relationships! I do not have one, single issue I need advice with. Mostly I want to know for those of you who have been in/are in successful relationships, how do you deal with small arguments? I love my BF and our relationship is solid (dating 4ish years). However, depending on stress levels (what's going on in our lives: school, work, family) we go through occasional periods of having small fights over the smallest, dumbest things.
We've all been there. So how do you avoid these situations? Do you walk away from them before they escalate or do you address them head on? Again, I'm not talking about huge arguments. Just small tiffs over day-to-day things. My friend suggested I start journaling as a way to let off steam over these small annoyances, which in turn may help me from continuing a silly fight. This may work for me, but maybe not my BF. So I'm just looking for suggestions here!
I realize that this is all subjective. What works for someone may not work for the next person. | From your own personal experience, how do you address those small, silly fights over absolutely nothing (before they snowball into something bigger)? Do you sit down and talk it out or is it better to walk away and drop it? |
t3_1qwt4y | AskReddit | How do I buy bit coins without dropping a whole lot of money? | Last year, I tried to open a Mt. Gox account when I had some extra money and Bitcoin had fallen to $14. There was an issue with the resolution I used to scan my id/proof of address so my account never achieved "verified" status.
I later found out my wife was having twins, (couldn't spare anything) and my money situation spiraled from there when my newborn son had to stay in ICU for a couple of weeks. I'm now in the position where I can spend $100 or so and not have to worry about it, and reuploaded my verification two weeks ago, when the Bitcoin was up to $200.
Due to high volume, it took them two weeks to verify me. Bitcoin is now over $650 and my account is verified, BUT I just read that wire transfer is the only way to get bitcoins through Mt. Gox, and the fees are upwards of $40, which would be a sizable portion of my investment.
How do I purchase a fraction of a Bitcoin at market price for under $100? | I missed a great opportunity, and I want to get ~1/6 bitcoins for about $100. What do? |
t3_3t7dk2 | legaladvice | (Ontario, Canada) Landlord has visited 14 times in a 6 month span. Can I refuse their entry? | Long story short, I ended up with first-timer landlords who are seem to be overly cautious about everything. Our lease started in December of 2014, we are the first tenants in a brand new condo unit. We allowed them to visit 8 times from December to April with no issues found, whatsoever. Some times they specifically requested for us to not be there. Because of this I set up hidden cameras to capture what was going on and why we were not allowed to be there.
Turns out, the landlord specified that he himself lives there and is not renting out the unit to avoid a hefty surcharge with the bank or builder of the condominium (I believe it is around $24,000). He brought the bank inspector there and pretended he lived there when we were not home (Took down all the pictures of us, etc). After the bank manager left, he proceeded to look through many of our drawers and cupboards (my girlfriends underwear drawer was my least favourite to find out about). I called them on it at the end of April and told them I had the proof on video, needless to say his wife was enraged with him and he was quite embarrassed, where they then turned it on us and said that was a dishonest thing to do and they will be starting the eviction process, I knew it was bogus.. nothing came of it.
Did not see or hear from them until October. Now these visits have started again. They have come twice since the end of October for "Inspections". My girlfriend and I couldn't deal with this any longer and have terminated our lease as of Dec. 1st (Last date in our possession is Nov. 30th). They want to visit twice between now and then to conduct more "inspections".
Question: Am I allowed to refuse their entry? At this point I've lost the feeling that this was my home which is why we are leaving. I feel this is quite excessive at this point and I want to tell them no more inspections, they can inspect one last time when we hand over the keys and I hope that is the last time I ever hear from them.
I would greatly appreciate any help. | Landlords visited approximately 14 times in a 6 month span, caught them on video going through our stuff. Can I refuse excessive amounts of "unit inspections?" |
t3_2pjjlv | relationships | [24 M] How/When to end a 5 year relationship with my [23 F] girlfriend | Hey guys. I'm 5 years deep in a very serious relationship and I feel like it's best for both of us to split up. There's a few reasons why I really need your help with this. Thanks in advance.
We met in college and spent a TON of time together through all of it. We started living together after the second year. Third year we got a dog together, shared bank account, etc. We've always joked that we're basically married.
We aren't getting along well anymore. We argue a lot now. We don't have sex that much (I'm not that attracted to her anymore). I don't respect her as much anymore. I think it's obvious we need to separate, that's not why I'm here asking this today.
There are a lot of things to consider here, and they all prevent me from just "breaking up with her".
She is leaving the country in the spring to attend school for another 4 years. Even if we stayed together I'd see her 6 weeks a year total, at most. She's already asked if I'd be willing to cosign on an absurd amount of loans. I've already cosigned on ~$20k worth of her loans from last year.
She's practically disowned her (abusive) parents. She can't and won't move back in with them. Her only real possibility of moving in with a friend is her cousin, who lives about 1.5 hours from her current job. (not well-paying anyways)
Both of our cars are my cars. We have two dogs together. Shared bank account.
Even though I think we'd be better off apart, I still love her more than anyone and she's my best friend in the world. No matter what happens I need to know she'll land on her feet and move on safely. Should I break it off ASAP, wait until after the new year, or wait until she's overseas at school? I'm so overwhelmed and emotional about this. I can't stop ignoring it though.
Please help, Reddit. You're my only hope. | Need to breakup. She's going to school overseas in the spring. Do I wait until then? How do I do it? |
t3_chk3g | AskReddit | First day of work, 3rd boss thinks im a perv. | Today was my first day of work and I had spent most of the day filling out piles of paperwork and meeting/remeeting people I had met when I had met them before in an in person interview.
So i'm standing in a doorway and my boss's boss's boss(is this correct?), strolls up to my left, and a little behind me, shes about 5'2, in heels and i'm 6'2. I want to make a good impression and address her by her name, but I don't remember it at all. So I cut(speedy look) my eyes to my left and downwards to her ID card (which is on her right breast).... She catches me and places her hand over her blouse, probably out of instinct, I glance again and notice that her blouse had actually been a bit low. She then proceeds to pull it up a bit. She pretty much avoids eye contact with me the rest of the day.
What the hell do I do!? Bring it up? Tell her the situation? Let it ride out? | forgot 3rd boss's name, attempted to glance at id card with her name on it, she thinks im looking at her breasts and avoids eye contact with me for the rest of the day. |
t3_3ud1y4 | relationships | I've been talking to this girl I have a crush on for the past week [21 M] with a girl in my nursing program[19 F] she stopped texting after I said I was going out tonight. More inside | Alright to put it in perspective we met in the nursing program we are both currently in.
> She's 19 and i'm 21 years old (Male).
* She started texting me because she was sad. I went further into it and she has clinical depression. I've been helping her cope with it now for the past two weeks.
* Now this girl is/was all about me. She was the one that asked me if I wanted to start something with her. So I told her I want to see if we can take this somewhere and she said the same thing. We've been texting back and forth everyday for the past couple of days.
* This was are last text conversation before she stopped texting me last night.
**Katie Smith: Hahaha I'm a terrible person I know.
Me: Yea but i'll take that over crazy anyday!
Katie Smith: *crying laughing emoji* yeah i'm not crazy!
Me: Always a plus *crying laughing emoji* I think I might be going out tonight**
* Then I sent her a snapchat this morning and no response back. Is she mad at me?
*Now from hanging out with her I know that she is depressed, very self centered, and she said she's very nervous when she's around someone she likes. She seems she really likes me and we flirt but she just likes talking about herself a lot and doesn't know how to have a conversation about anyone else.*
So is this something on my part or her or just nothing to worry about and I'm overreacting. | Girl I'm talking to stopped texting me after I mentioned I was going out. Is there more behind it or am I thinking to much about it |
t3_1pmx4x | relationship_advice | I [28/f] am unhappy in sexless relationship with my [34/m] boyfriend. | I'm not sure where to even start. Before anyone asks, no...he isn't cheating. I asked for advice somewhere else and the men there couldn't get past the idea that he must be cheating. How do I know he's not cheating? Because he's at work during the day and comes home and rarely if ever goes anywhere other than the grocery store, etc. He's a major homebody. (Nothing wrong with that.)
The sex was pretty regular in the beginning, but it has gotten to the point where it happens maybe once or twice a month now...if I'm lucky. I should also add that I'm the one that initiates it 99% of the time...if not 100% of the time. I'm having trouble remembering the last time he initiated.
I've approached the topic with him and he tells me that it's because he's so tired all of the time. He does tend to have crappy sleep habits, but he makes no effort to make it better and improve our sex life. As I stated above, I feel like we're otherwise happy. We get along great, rarely fight, enjoy spending time together and with each of our families, etc. I look pretty much exactly the same as I did when we first got together (the only difference is that I must look 4 years older?). I workout, I take pride in my general appearance (nice clothes, makeup/hair always done, etc) so I don't think it's that. It is really starting to take a blow to self-esteem though. I want nothing more than to feel desired by him and to feel sexy and to connect with him in that way...but nothing. | We've been together for 4 years and rarely have sex anymore. I love him and don't want to break up but don't know what to do anymore either. It's frustrating. |
t3_14cyz8 | AskReddit | What is the best moral system? | Essentially, we'll never truly be able to distinguish between "right" and "wrong" actions. At any given time in history, however, philosophers, theologians, and politicians will claim to have discovered the best way to evaluate human actions and establish the most righteous code of conduct. But it's never that easy. Life is far too messy and complicated for there to be anything like a universal morality or an absolutist ethics. The Golden Rule is great (the idea that you should treat others as you would like them to treat you), but it disregards moral autonomy and leaves no room for the imposition of justice (such as jailing criminals), and can even be used to justify oppression (Immanuel Kant was among its most staunchest critics). Moreover, it's a highly simplified rule of thumb that doesn't provision for more complex scenarios. For example, should the few be spared to save the many? Who has more moral worth: a human baby or a full-grown great ape? And as neuroscientists have shown, morality is not only a culturally-ingrained thing, it's also a part of our psychologies (the Trolly Problem is the best demonstration of this). At best, we can only say that morality is normative, while acknowledging that our sense of right and wrong will change over time. | Where does our ethics come from, and is there any way to be certain about any moral problem of doing the right thing. Or maybe even is it built by society itself. What happens if society is wrong? |
t3_ibww9 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit business owners / employees - why are "old customers" the absolute worst kind of customer? | Seriously.
I understand you've been doing business with us for 20 years.
No, you cannot use your credit card on a $1.63 charge. No, I still can't sell you that product over the phone. No, we don't care that you found that item $4.00 cheaper on Amazon; buy it online. No, you can't step behind the counter. No, you cannot talk to the business owner whenever it suits your fancy. No, you can't return that product you bought last year without a valid receipt. No, it does not mean you get free delivery - nor does it mean it's ok not to tip the deliveryman.
Fuck your sense of entitlement. | Support your neighborhood businesses and buy local. If you expect special treatment as a customer, be prepared to pay a special price. Information and expertise can save you money and headaches - they are not free. |
t3_30yhfa | relationships | [Non-Romantic] I[26M] need advice on a situation with one of my[27M] and a girl[28F] I used to see . | So the girl and I were friends with benefits that kinda of evolved into more but not quite a full blown relationship for a couple a months and then she broke things off. I was a little upset because I wanted to give a relationship a try but got over it and we are still good friends.
About two weeks ago I started to suspect that one of my roommates and her were starting to date/hookup. I asked her about it but she denied it. My roommate and her started acting kind of strange around me though and there was significant drop in communication from her.
So last night I couldn't sleep which happens to me for a few days time to time and I sometimes drive just to think since I'm not sleeping anyways. I walk out to my car to drive and notice my roommates car is gone. So now I have an easy way to confirm my suspicion even though I know it's pretty stalkerish. I'm ashamed to admit that I gave into my curiosity and drove by and confirmed that I was right.
Now I'm not upset about the situation, I mean do wish they would have just been honest about it but they are good match for each other so I'm happy for them. I also think it would have been courteous for my roommate to give me a heads up since he knew the break off wasn't mutual.
I want to tell them I know so they don't have to be secretive any more but I also don't want them to think I'm a stalker. It wasn't planned or anything and it was the first time I have ever done something like this. | Confirmed my roommate and a girl I had previously been seeing were hooking up because I drove by her house and saw his car. Want to tell them I know but don't want to look like a stalker |
t3_fbw5t | AskReddit | Dilemma: My friend's wife wants kids and he doesn't. She stopped taking her birth control. Should I tell him? | My wife and I have been friends with these two people for many years. She wants kids, he doesn't. You don't need to tell me that they should have figured that out before getting married.
She recently confessed to my wife that she had stopped taking her birth control without telling him. It's really disturbing to me that she would be willing to risk her husband's happiness to ensure her own, and I've been struggling with telling my friend what his wife is doing.
I've always felt like other people's relationships aren't my business, but here's how I feel about my options:
* If I tell him and he confronts her, she can deny it, and I look like a giant asshole (potentially ruining a great friendship), not to mention making things rocky for my wife's friendship with her.
* If I don't tell him and he unwittingly knocks her up, I'll feel like a giant asshole for having been able to protect my friend but doing nothing about it. However, he's none the wiser, and ignorance in this case may be bliss.
* If I tell him and he doesn't confront her, but instead minimizes the chances of her getting pregnant (however that might be done without tipping her off that he knows), have I saved the day? or have I simply sewn seeds of doubt into their relationship that need not be there? | My "brother from a different mother" has a baby crazy wife who is off the pill. He doesn't know. Wat do? |
t3_3rp1yt | relationships | I [17 M] don't know whether this girl [17 F] Is into me or is just sees me as someone to be a friend/flirt with | So there's this girl. I've been acquaintances with her for years, and over the years have been in her classes quite a lot. This year, my last year of school, we've been sat next to each other, and really hit it off. It's insane. We just seem to be on the same wavelength about so many things, and she surprises me everyday in some kind of positive way.
The thing is, she has so many guy friends, and I don't know whether she just sees me as one or as something more. She always has her friends round to watch movies and shit (usually ones I've recommended to her). But, she flirts with me so much. Like there's no denying it. She makes excuses to touch me, teases the shit out of me, talks to me on Facebook most nights and favourites a lot of my tweets, makes suggestive comments, talks about sex/her boobs more than she probably should, and I just get that flirty vibe off her. I can't really explain it. Maybe it's some look in her eyes or something, but I genuinely think she could be into me. Hell, one guy in my class was asking her if she had a boyfriend, and when she told him to guess, he asked if I was her boyfriend. It was awkward, but it kinda showed that other people notice it too.
Probably the biggest example is today. She's been off for a few days, and she came in, and after we talked for a bit, she said 'so, did you miss me?' I kinda didn't know whether to joke around or be truthful and say I did, but then she went 'be honest'. I said 'yeah', and then after a couple of seconds I said 'I really missed you punching me in the arm every now and then'. She laughed and that was it, but it seemed to me she was trying to figure out how I'm feeling about her. So, is she into me, or am I looking too much into it? | Girl seems into me, but she has loads of guy friends and I don't know whether I'm just mistaking her friendliness for being flirtatious. Any help? |
t3_p9prh | BreakUps | GF of 6 years wants a "break"... Advice reddit? | Hey guys, I'm looking for some advice on my current situation, and would greatly appreciate anything that the hive-mind here on reddit has to say.
My GF and I (I'm 27 shes 25) have been dating for the last 6 years. Honestly I was planning moving in with her as soon as she graduated and settled into her job and possibly proposing to her soon after. She just got a job as a middle school Spanish teacher.
We both still live at home for different reasons... I am currently working an internship that is part time and doesn't pay too great.
Anyways...
She called me up out of the blue last week and told me - in so many words - that shes not sure if she wants to be with me forever. Now that shes done with her job search, her personal life is the next thing she needs to focus on, and it scares her to think about settling down (she is a very fickle girl, it takes her forever just to figure out what to eat for dinner).
She is very conflicted about this whole thing, and is going to talk to a therapist as to why she feels like this. But in the meantime, she wants both of us to see other people and figure out if this is what we both really want. I'm not sure how long she means, my interpretation was a few months, but she could mean years for all I know.
Reddit, I really love this girl and I want to grow old with her. Should I wait around and hold out hope that she will come around? Or should I move on with my life and worry about myself? | GF wants a break after 6 years because shes unsure if she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. |
t3_d4zwn | AskReddit | ok reddit, i ordered a package that was confirmed delivered by my mailman. the catch? it isn't here. help me brainstorm where it could have gone so i can avoid raging out on the post office. | i ordered some phone cases from ebay a couple weeks ago, and they were supposedly delivered last monday (8/16). except they weren't. i've been in contact with the customer service guy at our postal station, and he keeps telling me he's trying to find the package but needs more time. well, it's been a week already. so, my question is this: what are some possible situations that would explain my vanishing package? obviously it made it within 20 feet of my door to get scanned as delivered, but where did it go?
facts:
we have one of those little cluster mailboxes where multiple units each have their own locked box.
we live in a complex with a bunch of nosy goody-two-shoeses who are unlikely to jack someone else's package.
our housemate definitely didn't pick it up by accident. | mailman says he delivered a package that ain't here. what do i do now? has anyone had this scenario end well? |
t3_4o1c97 | relationships | Should I [19] directly ask her [17] if she likes me or not? | Sorry for long post, but I think the background is somehow important...
Me [19] and her [17] met around 9 months ago. Went on two sort of dates ending with kissing. She lives far away so we're not seeing each other. So we text through messenger.
She's flirty sometimes. She wrote me twice she's not wearing anything rn,but it was few months back. We have set nicknames which we gave each other. She's something along the meaning of "naughty girl" and she likes that nickname.
The problem is I'm pretty much always the one who texts first. And she's sometimes off the phone, so she will answer sometimes days after I send "hi". She tells me how some teacher was hitting on her, which she found funny and how others think she's dating her friend which makes her upset. And recently she told me about her ex and that he's texting her sometimes and that he's an idiot. But she seemed a bit excited about it, but that's just how it seemed to me through what she wrote me.
I've asked her if she wants to meet up, because I will be in the same city. She told me she didn't know if she would have time, that they have some events with her class,but that maybe she will go. And that she can't Thursday and Friday for sure but doesn't know what about Tuesday and Wednesday yet. Few days later she says she can't make it. The thing is that I'm not sure if she is just being polite or she really can't make it... Should I ask her upfront if she just didn't want to go and was too polite to put it that way? I'm confused and I really like her, so I'm not sure if she's interested in me or not or she's just enjoying my interest...
Thanks for reading | Pretty much the title. Should I ask her upfront if she just didn't want to go and was too polite to put it that way? |
t3_1cqxfz | BreakUps | How does one embrace and enjoy being single without missing all the perks of being in a relationship? | So it's been about 2 months now since the break up. For the most part I've moved on, I really feel like I've bettered myself through everything and I'm not even missing her anymore. I still think about her every couple of days but it's really nothing to cry over. I'm happy that she moved on and it's time for me to move on too. But why do I still feel like shit? I know I'm not completely ready for another relationship, I'm trying to enjoy and embrace being single... But there's still a feeling deep down that makes me feel uneasy. I don't miss her. I'm glad she broke up with me because it made me realize that she was no way close to being the perfect partner. The thing is this, I still very much miss having someone, anyone, to talk too. I miss someone to hold when I wake up in the morning or fall asleep at night. Waking up in bed alone night after night is getting more and more lonely. I miss how this special person was someone I could talk to through out the day about anything. How do you guys cope with not having someone who cares about you at such a deep emotional level?
That's what I really have trouble with, it's not that I don't have friends who look out for me and such. My buddies are there for me always, but it's just not at the same level as your significant other is. It's just my life is lacking that special someone. It's kind if hard for me to explain this but hopefully you guys understand what I'm going through. | Do you guys have any advice? How do you guys cope with being so lonely at time? Unless that's the single life.. |
t3_yuipf | jobs | Discouraged worker trying to get back to work. Need some insight. | I graduated with a degree in Economics and continued straight through and got my MBA in 2008. Following graduation I went to work for a family business in the construction industry managing projects and doing all sorts of different things from branding, to building a website, to revamping hiring and relocating our warehouse.
Following this I had the opportunity to take a job working as an program analyst for a healthcare organization. It turned out to be a career more in computer science than in healthcare policy, which is what I was really interested in. It wasn't particularly suited to my skill set and I resigned approximately a year after I started in the end of 2011.
I relocated back home and took a part time job at a golf course as something to do until I really figured out what I wanted to do next. This was nearly a year ago and in that time I've only applied to 3 jobs and had 2 interviews which I did not receive an offer. I'm pretty disillusioned with the opportunities available in my current city and relocation isn't an option as my wife is not interested in moving and has stable employment.
I constantly question what I'm doing with my life, I had excellent grades in college and good performance in both my jobs so far, I just never have felt fulfilled and/or particularly interested in what I'm doing. I find myself looking at school to do something technical where a career path is more concrete, but the opportunity cost sets me back.
I've gotten to the point where I haven't even applied for a job in months. I just can't convince myself that anyone will want to hire me for a reasonable salary (last salary was over $70k). Anyone else been here before, and if so how did you move on? I'm basically disappointed with myself in my lack of a solid career at this point and the way things have worked out. I know I rambled a lot, but any insight would be helpful. | I've been underemployed for a year and having a lot of trouble motivating myself to get back into the 9-5 world. This is a throwaway account. |
t3_51e2pt | relationships | My ex (24M) just texted me (21F) month after breaking up saying he misses me and wants to meet as soon as possible. Is it likely that he wants me back? | My ex boyfriend and I broke up after three months because his work schedule was too demanding and caused a lot of stress him and consequently on the relationship. Other than that, the relationship was ideal, the best one I have ever been in.
I have learnt from a bit of Facebook stalking that he has since gotten a new job, one that is far less demanding and with much better schedule.
Following the breakup, we had a period of no contact, until yesterday when he texted me out of the blue asking if I would be able to meet with him.
As I'm not completely over the breakup, and I believe the relationship still has potential, I agreed and we are meeting this evening for a chat.
I asked him why he wants to see me and he said he's been missing me.
Considering how recent the breakup actually was, what do you guys think the chances are that he wants me back? | Ex boyfriend texts me a month after the breakup saying he misses me and wants to meet ASAP. Does he necessarily want me back? |
t3_2et9jm | relationships | Me [25M] with my GF [24F] of 3.5yrs, should I meet new girls? | Hi All,
I met my GF in final year of my undergrad course in university (UK for college XD). So she lives down south with her parents until she can save enough for a house with her job and plans on staying there; whereas I live up north (about 2.5hrs on the train) and have another 2.5 years remaining of my PhD. My future is going to be pretty unstable for several years to come, meaning I probably won't be stable until about 32yrs old.
Now, I have never really had much confidence with girls and that has been the case since secondary school (high school). Whilst being in university and part of a distance relationship, I am being approached by girls more often, whether through online chat or everyday situations.
Previously, I have had issues with not being able to tell the difference between flirting and talking. I.E. What I would consider a normal conversation, would appear to be flirting in the eyes of my GF.
She has said this was because I listen intently and because of the enthusiasm I show for the other person during the talk.
I'm not going to lie, some of the girls were attractive (without being hot, so I don't get nervous), but I always have my GF on my mind when I meet any girl - whether it be feelings of guilt or feelings of longing.
These occurrances are happening more often and sometimes I am unsure as to whether I am flirting because I want to or because I can't help it. Or because the relationship itself has become the roadblock. | First serious long term relationship, getting interested in other girls. Should I try new things/discuss with my GF? |
t3_51jd3g | tifu | TIFU by making my house lose power | So it was a few summers ago and me and some friends were playing outside. It was 100% and there wasn't a pool around. So we take out the hose plug it in and hook up a sprinkler. That wasn't doing it for us, so we went to the store and got some water balloons and filled them up and each one of us took a corner of the drive way and set up a fort (it's a pretty big drive way and it's not on a hill) so we are having this epic battle and having a lot of fun while beating the scorching sun. And in a split second that all changed. I throw a water balloon at one of my friends at his fort. I over threw it and my life went into slow motion watching it soar over and heading for his phone plugged into and outlet, one outside the house. Mind you this was a huge water balloon. It makes direct contact and hits the outlet and makes this loud weird noise and causes sparks and smoke. His phone was done for and I thought that was the biggest problem but I was wrong. My dad comes storming out asking what did we do. So I tell him and he tells me that the whole house lost power. So somehow this water balloon hit the outlet and caused my whole house to lose power. I had to buy my friend a new phone and had to get a job to help pay for the electric problems. Causing the Worst summer ever! | water balloon fight gone wrong, hit an outlet, power goes out, parents yell at me, I have to pay for it |
t3_2b2qpr | relationships | Is it wrong of me [20f] to be angry at my [37f] half-sister for moving back home for a stupid reason? | My [37f] sister moved in 3 months ago along with her [12f] daughter and it seems like she's planning on staying for a while. She moved out of her boyfriend's house for whatever reason and recently I found out that she has done this a lot. The boyfriend would kick her out (no one can really stand her character) and she would go back to her mother's apartment, only to go back after some months. They would still be dating.
Now that her mother is living with her son, my half sister went back home to daddy along with her daughter. Everyone was saying this time they were done for good but thats not the truth. I think its childish to go back home so often, and it seems like she is not embarrassed at all about making these huge scenes so often. Now that she is saving all her money from not paying for rent and food shes going on all these vacations and setting up more for after she comes back. She has never liked me and now no longer speaks to me.
My dad thinks shes making stupid decisions but isn't telling her she needs to grow up. No one else in the house wants her here, its me, my little sister and my mother against my dad. I'm getting fed up with it and I'm ready to tell my dad that if she doesn't kick her out I'm moving out. I'm a full time student and not working at the moment but I have some savings and willing to leave because I can't handle it anymore. Im getting my real estate sales license on monday and Im waiting for that to begin working again.
Any advice | half sister moved in and instead of saving money to find her own place, she's spending it on useless vacations with her boyfriend who she had allegedly broken up with. Should I move out? |
t3_28u3hb | relationships | I [20M] have recently added a very old friend [21F] on a social networking site, yet I am not sure how receptive she is to meeting up. | I haven't seen this girl since around 2nd grade. The last time I contacted her was approximately 6 years ago or so on an IM service, and she recently popped into my head within the week so I added her on FB. I asked if she remembered me and whatnot, other questions to try and catch up. She said of course and we were chatting, and seemed to go well. I then asked if she still lived nearby, to which she said she does (with an emoticon smile, yet I'm not sure how much help that is), which I stated that we should meet up. No response.
Now, these few messages have spanned two days, with hours between each response, yet my last message was said to be viewed at 10pm on a Friday. I'm assuming that she probably read it as she was going out or something (21F, Friday night), but I'm just being paranoid I guess? I'm also somewhat socially awkward and am not sure how to check to see if she just forgot to respond and if meeting up is still desirable. | Contacted old friend. Despite delayed messaging, twas no response after me suggesting that we meet. The time of when the message was viewed leaves me to wonder if it was a mistake or if truly no interest. |
t3_411dhs | relationships | I [19M] am nervous that if my ex [19F] and I get back together it won't be the same. | So my ex and I have been apart for almost 5 months now, and we have kept in steady contact for the past 2.5. I asked her over Winter Break if she'd maybe considering getting back together, and we agreed that in the summer for sure, but for now we have to play it by ear since we're back at college and while we're only 2.5 hours away, distance is still tough.
So we're going to slowly get more personal and talking more, etc. over the next few weeks and visit eachother and see where we stand, and reevaluate.
My main concern is that if we get back together, things will feel very different, and remain that way forever. When we were together, we were so happy; I've never been happier. I want to work back to that. But some people tell me it may not happen and not be the same.
I don't think this claim is true, since they dont know my relationship with her, and I believe that in a short time we will be able to work out the previous kinks, and continue where we left off. I mean we fell in love with eachother very quickly before, and I believe we can make that work again.
If it is though, could things maybe end up not working out? I still love her and want to be with her very much.
I'm sorry for rambling and maybe not making sense, but hopefully you all understand what I'm getting at.
I'd like to know the best ways to make sure we feel "it" again with eachother and fall in love again. Should I take the approach I did when we were first together, or be different? | Want to get back with ex, nervous things won't be quite the same, things may not work out as a result. |
t3_4lz9x5 | relationships | [virginity] I [19F] am considering losing my virginity to my bf [19M] of 8 months, but am a little conflicted and need advice | I've been dating my bf for 8 months now, and we have a great relationship. I feel extremely comfortable with him, trust him, care about him, and I know he feels the same about me. We were both complete virgins when we met, but have done pretty much everything at this point aside from intercourse, and I enjoy it a lot. Also, he has never pressured me sexually whatsoever.
Lately I have been thinking that I would like to start having PIV sex with him, and he has also expressed interest in this. However, I have grown up in a rather sexually conservative environment, and it has been pretty drilled into me that sex is for marriage. While I do not want to wait for marriage, sex to me is still a big deal, and I can't help but wonder if I will regret having sex with him if we were to break up later (which I understand is highly probably simply based on our age). I know that even in marriage, there is still the possibility of divorce, and you can never really know for sure if someone will be your partner for life (esp not if you're only 19!), but I still feel some hesitation anyway.
I guess what I am looking for is some advice on what you guys think I should do. Also, for anyone else out there where sex felt like a big deal to them, how did you feel when you finally lost your virginity? | boyfriend is very loving, I want to have sex but feel like PIV sex is super special and worried I will regret doing it later |
t3_2i256l | relationships | Did I make a mistake? | First post/time here so I apologize in advance if I mess up some of y'all's rules.
My girlfriend and I had been together for 6 months when we broke up yesterday, or rather I decided we needed to. I'm 18/M and she's 17/F (obviously) we both met through after an school program and for the length of our relationship were happy together.
The water gets muddy when it comes up that before we met I had already enlisted in the Navy to be deployed in December, I made sure she knew this from the beginning in fact according to her it was something that drew her to me. After 5 months together we got closer than either had really planned and had several talks about where we wanted our relationship to go.
She wanted to keep fighting for it and make it work no matter the circumstance, I wanted to break it off while things were good and salvage a close relationship instead of dragging it out to the point we were bitter and hateful as I saw no way for either of us to be happy in any sort of long distance partnership in the end of all these talks we decided to wait and just give each other more time to think on what we really wanted.
So yesterday I sat her down and told her I'd made up my mind and she cried and I held her and told her that I wasn't going to just disappear from her life that I'll be there for her in most anything she needs but with what is going on in my life I won't be able to be there for her in the ways a significant other should be, I told her that we are barely more than kids with so much more to experience in life and that I want her to find someone new that can be here with her and a bunch of other stuff that looking back sounds so damn corny and like a freaking hallmark movie.
And so my ultimate question I guess is, did I screw up? Was she right and I should have at least tried to carry on our relationship? Or did I make the better choice for the two of us? | Me and GF of 6 months breakup on my decision because of my Navy enlistment and doubt of a happy and healthy relationship in a long distance relationship. |
t3_vdar7 | relationships | My Relationship Dilemma | First off I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place but i just needed to get this off of my chest.
So around 3 months ago, this girl and i started hitting it off (her 17, myself 16) it started with us going to a party and from there we've talked almost every day and ended up with me going to grad with her. We talked about making what we have "official" and she said she wants to wait until she's finished exams. Which is right around now..
So everything is going great except that on monday night i was out getting something to eat, and i get this text from another girl that I'm really good friends with (she's 17) saying how she was really bored and wanted to do something after she was done work, i suggest a movie and meet her at her work. We get there a bit early and talk until the movie starts, now near the end of the movie she starts touching my arm and trying to hold my hand which i pull away from, then she leans over and cuddles with me, then it ends. We get in my car to drive home and we hardly talk on the way home since its getting late. When i pulled up on her driveway she leans over and gives me a hug which wasn't out of the normal but then she pulls away and starts kissing me to which I'm in total shock with and then she left.
So now I'm not sure where I'm at, i had a crush on this girl a while ago, and i feel really terrible about doing this behind my (soon to be) girlfriends back..
Help me out Reddit, i need some advice. | Made out with a good friend behind the back of my soon to be girlfriend. Feel terrible and don't know what to do.. |
t3_1kuaee | relationships | Me[28M] with my 3 month [26F] duration, caught me texting dating website girl today after she broke up with me | After taking me to her Mom's place for a going away party, going out for put-put with her niece, then relaxing for the evening my girlfriend broke up with me on Saturday the 17th. To me, it was completely out of no where, everything was going well as far as I knew.
Her reason was that she needed to work on herself, figure out her happiness. After all you can't rely on someone to MAKE you happy. This was a reason I completely respected. Because I respected her decision and her reason, it was pretty easy to think she was serious and we were split up and that was it. I updated my okcupid profile.
Well, a girl I had messaged before (as I've been on an off the site for years) saw that I had updated and she messaged me. We messaged on and off, and she text me after a bit.
Fast forward to today. My ex had been texting me on and off as well. And we made plans to go to the park and hang out. So she came over and we let the dogs play on the floor. Well, the okcupid girl was texting me before the ex got here, and I didn't tell okcupid girl I was about to be busy. So, okcupid girl text me and her name popped up and the ex noticed (I have okcupid stored with the name).
She instantly stormed out, told me to lose her number and get the out her life. I had completely missed the signs that she wanted to get back together. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong, let alone enough to lose out on getting bad together or even have her in my life. Was I in the wrong? I do really care about her, and I do want to be with her, I'm just getting too old to sit around an not get back into socializing. | Girlfriend broke up with me Saturday, caught me texting Okcupid girl today, never wants to see or talk to me again. Had no idea she thought we could be together again before any of this happened. |
t3_2ekiey | relationships | My (22F) wants to break up with me (24M) of three years over lack of communication | Me and my girlfriend are both in our first relationship for 3 years and we don't argue very often, and she wants to become friends again, over an argument we had which lasted for around 1 month, (it was just on and off speaking) she feels like after this month she has become less attached to the relationship and feels its not fair on me that i am.
The main reason she wants to have to breakup was because of the lack of communication we had, and not much to talk about, this is because she works during the day and i work during the evenings and our lives are really not that exciting... we both don't go out often unless to see each other...
Also the fact that this has happened before (an argument similar to this) and she feels like this will just repeat itself over and over. And its very painful for both of us when we have an argument like this (which isn't often but seems like a pretty big deal every time something like this happens)
We have agreed to meet each other next week to see if thinks can work out.. but its not looking good,
We are still in love with each other but just cant seem to work through this, and we both agreed we would hate to see each other with someone else.
Any suggestions to what we can do fellow redditers? | Girlfriend of 3 years wants to be friends because she feels like we don't communicate enough/doesn't want to have another arguement |
t3_4luvwu | legaladvice | [CT, USA] 60-days notice to vacate, but 30-days notice to increase rent? | Just like the title says, my landlord claims to have the right to increase my rent with a 30 day notice, but I have to give 60 day notice to vacate.
When I first signed my lease a ear ago, I was given a discounted rate because of our low income. Now that the time has come to resign a lease (they only do 12-month) they have decided that they can increase my rent by about $300 a month. I definitely can't afford that and I'm afraid of being locked in for another 12 months.
They're waiting for another low income apartment in my building to vacate first before they raise my rent. Then they shall give me a 30-day notice for a rent increase, and then I will have to sign a new 12-month lease. Until then, I'm in a hold over lease.
Does this sound like a legally correct procedure? I only ask because I can't find anything anywhere else on the Internet on the matter. | My landlord can give me 30-days notice to increase my rent and lock me into another 12-month lease, but I have to give 60-days notice to vacate? |
t3_4otisx | relationship_advice | How to get over my perfect girl? | I had finally found EXACTLY what I wanted in a woman. She was smart, driven, pretty, you name it. She was exactly what I wanted.
We were going steady for a little over a month (that felt like a year) and we were inseparable. I had planned a little more than three week vacation before we had met, and we were forced into a long distance relationship.
The beginning was fine, we were exactly like we once were, but then we had an argument and her feelings completely changed. I admitted I was wrong (which I was, I wasn't just agreeing to agree), but she could never get those same feelings back that she had before our disagreement.
The whole situation sucks knowing that my stupid decision ended the most meaningful relationship I've ever had, but I also thought our bond was a lot stronger than this.
I've never felt such remorse and absolute heartbreak and am hoping that you lovely Redditors have a bit of advice for me. I've heard all of the "me" time, get a hobby, work more hours tips, but I'm hoping someone can enlighten me with what REALLY worked for them during these dark times.
Thank you! | What to do with a broken heart knowing that you just missed out on the perfect girl? And I mean perfect. |
t3_xlh7p | AskReddit | What is the weirdest erotic dream you've ever had? | Throwaway because oh god why.
I'm walking around a cafeteria with some friends from work, we're discussing normal things, and suddenly I know I'm telling them all about how I have a strong attraction to large noses. Next thing I know, I'm drawing a nose on a scrap piece of paper from my pocket and start smearing my tongue all over it, and - fuck - I'm super aroused. In front of the cafeteria staff and people from work. Pretty sure I was touching myself.
..
Then I woke up and was pretty horny, until I remembered what I was horny about. I rarely EVER have erotic dreams, and none has weird as this. Noses, what the fuck?? | had erotic dream in which I gave a blow job to a drawing of a nose whilst touching myself. in front of coworkers. |
t3_48c404 | relationships | My sister [42F] and i [45F] need to have a conversation with my parents [70s M+F] about estate planning and other topics but don't know how to bring it up. | Although my parents are in reasonably good health, age is slowing them down a bit. My sister and I think the time has come to discuss their plans for the future with them (where important documents are kept, their plans for their estate, wishes for medical care, etc.), but I'm not sure how to bring it up. My sister agrees that there should be a family meeting, but my brother is (and always will be) useless.
Our first concern is that our mother will feel like we're being vultures. My sister and I don't know how to broach the subject in a way that will dispel any notion that we are doing so out of self interest.
The second concern is for our brother [39] and our parents' relationship with him. "Tony" is an addict who's spent a couple of short stints in jail. He's exceptionally bright, but is unable to hold a job because everyone else is a idiot and the things he's expected to do are stupid. As a result, he lives at home.
My sister and I have decided that Tony has had enough second chances, and we will not assume responsibility for supporting him in any way. If my parents suddenly pass or can no longer live in their home, unless they choose to leave everything to Tony (which they won't), they need to have make plans for him now, because they may not be able to later. My specific concern here is for their wellbeing, because I wouldn't want them to delay making necessary life decisions because Tony needs them to provide food and shelter.
Can anyone recommend an approach to discussing these things with our parents without is seeming like we're anxious to get our hands on our inheritance or are being cruel to our brother? | Our parents are getting older. Our brother can't support himself without them and we want to discuss their plans without sounding like we're greedy. |
t3_2kp3f2 | relationships | Me [22f] with my high school friend[22m], meeting up after long time apart. | I'm going to preface this by saying I have no game, and can never tell if someone is being just nice or hitting on me (until they stop talking to me...)
I met up the other day with a guy I used to go to high school with. We weren't particularly close, but were friendly. I found out we lived in the same area now after college, so I reached out to ask if he wanted to get lunch and catch up.
So we did. It was fairly enjoyable, I guess. It's always interesting to see how people turn out. He asked me quite a few questions about myself, to the point where it kind of felt like 20 questions.
I kept trying to turn the convo back to him, but he wasn't very receptive. Everything I mentioned, he was like "Tell me more."
Then, he started asking me out of the blue about whether or not I dated in college, how long I dated for, if I had a boyfriend now. He then mentioned that he never really dated monogamously.
He mentioned that I looked fashionable as well. Our "lunch date" lasted for like 3.5 hours. I did ask him if he had somewhere to be, and he said no. | What does this dude want? Is it normal to ask someone you don't know that well about their dating life? And no, he's not gay. |
t3_h5p7y | AskReddit | What are some of your worst stories while riding the train/commuting to work? | I have 2 examples while riding the T:
First one: It was a Friday morning and I guess this one girl had to much to drink last night as it was Thirsty Thursday. Her eyes are bloodshot, hair is a mess, face is flushed and sweating, and her bf is holding on to her so tightly to keep her upright. She's stumbling towards the train door to exit and bf asks her, "Babe, you gonna be ok? Can you make it?" And I'm standing next to the door, hoping that they would just exit as soon as possible bc I can smell the alcohol and throw up on her. Next thing I know, she bends over, throws up next to my rainboot, the vomit splattering my boot, and the couple decides to go back to their seats and sit down instead of exiting. No apology and they avoid eye contact with me. WTF?
Second one: I was standing next to the railing near the door and this fat girl comes and stands next to me. She bends over to look through her bag and I can see that she has low cut jeans on and is not wearing any underwear, not even a thong. I can say this for sure bc I saw at least 2 inches of butt crack. At this time, the train suddenly jerks and the fat girl, not holding on to anything, falls butt first towards me. Me, trying to not have her fall on me, throw my hands out to stop and made contact with bare butt cheek. Full on cupped butt cheek in my hand. I say sorry but she doesn't even look at me. After a few seconds, she pulls up her jeans and exits at the next T stop. As a girl, I am horrified at her attire and the fact that I accidentally cupped another girl's bare cheek. | Drunk girl vomits on the floor and splatters my rainboot; Fat girl fell on me and I accidentally cupped her bare butt cheek. I am also a girl. |
t3_16158e | relationship_advice | Getting jealous when my gf meets with her ex. | Hey,
**at first some background information:**
My gf[24] and me[22] are dating for about 6 months, we live ~ 150km apart.
We met through a mutual friend. We mostly see each other on weekends.
Before our relationship, she was together with a good friend [20] of her, which didn't work out and she broke up with him after 3 months.
He is her best friend and the only friend left which she can see without driving 30 min.
**Now the problem:**
The first three months she didn't see her ex very often. But after some time that started to change.
At first they started texting and calling each other, mainly because he had some family/work problems.
In the last 2 months they started to see each other more often, meet for sports or talking, etc. And recently they see each other each day, except when I stay at her place or vice versa.
Since then I became really jealous and started getting a bad mood if she mentioned him or meets him. To me it looks like she exchanges me for him when we can't see each other.
We've talked about it a couple of times, but only if one of us was mad already.
I don't want to forbid her meeting him, she doesn't want to stop meeting him.
For me it's not the fact that they meet, it's the frequency that really bugs me.
I don't know what to do or say to her, because I want this relationship to work on a long term basis and the fact that I get a lousy mood almost every evening is not really helping. | GF and me live ~ 150 km apart. When we're not around each other she meets very often with her ex. I get jealous & mad. |
t3_2pyedm | jobs | Quite an odd situtation, Good paying job in gas and oil or finishing school??? | So i have had an oppty presented to me to get my foot into the Gas industry, one id like to be in , im also in my first year at school im still in between decideing between CAD and Electronics Tech (heavy with plc and robotics). Im torn Because i would like to get my foot in the industry but think that the ET degree could lead to alot better job in the industry. Do i roll the dice with the family (the job is 3.5 hrs away, id be living in a hotel until the house is moved) and the time apart, or suck it up try to find some part time job to tide us over in the mean time? Should i be thinking maybe other than oil and gas and think mining? I like the sound of Instrumentation and controls..... I am lost with it all..... | Got offered a job in gas industry but in school to do CAD or Electronics Tech and having a hard time figuring out whats the best move. |
t3_4noeaz | relationships | I [25/F] have been with my BF [23 M] for four years, I checked his personal journal ( out of extreme anxiety, I'm very guilty) and I found texts where he had mentioned sexual feelings for another girl...Is he going to cheat on me? | I have always felt that my BF had feelings for some other girls and recently ( I'm extremely guilty for this) checked his personal journal to validate that my feelings were wrong, but I found texts where he had mentioned sexual feelings for another girl. He did have a crush on her long before we started dating. I was extremely hurt when I read the text and confronted him about it.
He told me that they were just passing thoughts, My BF has clinical OCD and has an issue with uncontrollable thoughts, he mentioned this is one of those. But I has even found a few texts where he has dreamt about having encounters with her.
I cannot handle it and it is breaking me down almost every other day. I cannot talk about this to anyone else because I don't want to paint a bad picture of him.
Is he going to cheat on me? | My BF (23/M) has written about sexual thoughts about another girl in his journal, Is he cheating on me? |
t3_te6r3 | AskReddit | Reddit, I think my uncle is in a cult. What should I do? | Like the title says, I think my uncle is in a cult. Basically, here's the story;
I posted a song on my Facebook wall earlier today by a Christian rock band. I am an atheist, unbeknownst to my family, but I still enjoy the music. He texted me shortly afterwards, telling me about how he had joined a religious group, and that God had told him in his sleep that his family would soon get closer to god, starting with me. Now, most of my family is Christian, but we're hardly religious at all (Never go to church, dont pray every day, dont hate atheists), but this particular uncle is a hardcore Christian.
Anyways, I asked him if this was because of my post, and he said yes. He told me that him and a few other people go to one person's house every Monday to pray and talk to God, and asked if I wanted to come to the next meeting. I jokingly asked if they spoke in tongues, and his exact reply was:
"Yes, but it's the old language of the bible, and we let God speak and move through us. We pray over each other, and get closer to God." at that point, I just thought, 'fine, whatever. Yea, it's weird, but he's not hurting anyone, and no one is hurting him.' his next text, however, is what tipped me off. He said that everyone had to pay "a mandatory $50 fee every session" to the leader. My uncle is on unemployment, and barely makes enough money to live as it is. I'm also worried for his kids, who he plans on bringing next Monday. He says that he plans to teach them to "harm the heathens and gays who don't accept Christ until they die or start believing." as an atheist, this alarmed me as well. This cult he's been suckered into is sucking him dry and teaching his kids hatred and intolerance, and I'm frankly very saddened by this. I love my uncle, and I'm great friends with his son/my cousin. What should I do? | My uncle had been suckered into a cult that takes away what little money he has, and teaches his kids hatred and intolerance. Wat do? |
t3_2lkl95 | offmychest | Life sucks | I've never used this subreddit before, but I figure I might as well today. I'm 17 and going off to college this August with decent grades and test scores. My Dad has a job of over 100k a year, so I didn't think Financial Aid was going to be a problem. Until I found out he quit for no fucking reason after we already turned in my financial aid report sheet. Don't get me wrong, I know it's his life and he can quit if he wants to, but he could have done it before pressuring me to apply to the most expensive colleges in the fucking world. Call this teenage angst if you want, but I honestly don't see how we can get hounded for lacking so much responsibility when adults can't keep their shit together at all either. | Have the grades to get into a very good college, might have to end up going to a much shittier one based on false presumptions |
t3_1go0dz | relationships | How can I talk to this girl online? M17 | I've seen this girl walking around my college (British) and I think she looks amazing. Beautiful if I must say. She doesn't look like one of these typically, popular girls either with girls and boys walking around worshipping each other (i'm not like this either, far from it) She hangs around one of my lessons and her class mates come up and talk to her.
Luckily, I found her on facebook. I saw her face appear on suggested friends, request sent, request accepted.
Now, ever since i've wanted to talk to her. She looks amazing and she looks like she has a great personality.
Problem is, I don't know how to start the conversatiom. I'm not the best with starting conversations due to very very low confidence.
Now, they only way we can talk is either Facebook or Twitter since I have just finisbed my two years of college. So face to face conversationa are out of the question till (hopefully) we may meet one day. | Seen a girl who looks amazing, want to talk to her but don't know how due to low confidence and inexperience. |
t3_2xalb2 | relationship_advice | My [22f] boyfriend [32m] still gets very upset when talking about his ex from more than 10 years ago. Should I be worried? | Created an account for this, so please let me know if I made any formatting errors etc.
My boyfriend and I met in a band, hence the age difference. We've been together for 2 years now. His first ex cheated on him with a couple of his friends so whenever I ask him about her he gets very upset. Then a week ago I found some racy photos of that ex hidden in the back of his drawers. I can't help but wonder why he would still have a CD with naked photos of her if he hated her so much. I was upset all day and I told him I was feeling upset because I found some nasty secret that he's been hiding from me. He then said "the drawers?" but later told me that he cannot even remember what was in that CD and it was so long ago. But he moved to the current apartment 1.5 years ago, so he must have placed it there then. When I asked him to explain this he said that to mention this ex is like mentioning the rapist to a rape victim. Because she has hurt her so bad that every time her name is mentioned he gets really angry. He then said he didn't delete them because at that time he was so mad that he wanted to post her naked photos online for revenge, but later decided that she's not worth the lawsuit. I can't help but wonder why he kept those photos then? "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference" Not sure if I'm being too melodramatic, but I feel like he should not be SO upset when mentioning about someone who he broke up with more than a decade ago? Should I be worried, or am I completely overreacting? | boyfriend told me he hated his ex for cheating on him, and yet he hid some naked photos of her and gets very very upset when talking about her. Should I be worried? |
t3_4wrj6z | offmychest | I'm a goddamn quitter | Beware: Wall of text and poorly written sentences.
Recently I thought my life was going pretty smoothly. Got an apartment with close friend(plus his girlfriend),was finally able to get a job, and I thought I was finally starting to get over my social anxiety & depression. This was until three weeks ago where my friends girlfriend showed her verbally/physically abusive side when they had gotten into a huge fight. We all moved into our new 1 bedroom apartment a week after this. Now let's skip forward to this last saturday where I had orientation at my new job. My new job is at a fast food restaurant. Orientation was just supposed to be me watching videos for 2 1/2 hours and take little mini reviews in between, but I wasn't the only one doing orientation that day so at one point I had to work while waiting for a computer to open up. The first 1 1/2 hour of my 4 hour shift went pretty well, (it was just basic stuff like cleaning trays, replenishing the ice for the soda fountain, and changing trash bags, etc.), but around hour 2 it started to get incredibly busy and this is where my social anxiety kicks in. From here on out i'm having panic attacks one after another with seemingly no end in sight, even after work and up until now. My first actual shift is this Wednesday, and I don't want to go. I don't want to put myself through that, I literally want to just skip out on it. This brings me back to the apartment situation, since I will probably get fired for being a little child I won't be able to get money to pay my part of the rent obviously. The thing is even if I didn't want to already quit a decently paying job I wouldn't want to pay overpriced rent (imo) to live with an abuser and her boyfriend who is trying his best to make things work. What I do want to do is quit my job, move out of the apartment and go to college to follow my dream. | Socially akward kid w/ depression wants to run away from work, and abandon friend to follow a dream that will probably amount to nothing. Also needs counseling |
t3_3balah | relationships | Me [21F] with my ex-boyfriend [24M] 3 years, how do you know you've made the right choice to break up? | We've been together for three years. He briefly broke up with me early on, and we got back together. Had a wonderful two years and was really happy with our relationship. I love his family and him to bits, I'm really integrated into his life.
I've always felt like two different people though. We were long distance, and he's since moved closer, I've struggled to reconcile the two, spending more time in my 'free' life at University and not putting in the effort my relationship probably needed. I wasn't able to commit fully subconsciously due to worries about 'missing out' and 'the grass is always greener'.
I decided to end things yesterday, and it was pretty awful. And now I'm panicking because I feel like all I want to do is talk to him and apologise, because he's my best friend. But I also know I should give this 'break up' the time it requires to check whether I've done the right thing and this isn't a knee-jerk reaction to ending something that's been such a big part of my life.
I feel like I want to talk to a 'grown up' about all this to get some perspective. My parents are absent and I have no other reliable adults to talk to. The only people I could would be his parents, which of course is not appropriate in this situation at all. | I ended my relationship with my boyfriend of three years, and I don't know whether I've done the right thing. How do you know when a break up is right in the long term? |
t3_1768fk | relationship_advice | Talking to my long distance ex, still have feeligns | I'm 21 and m ex is 17 about to turn. we have talked on and off since we broke up. (I cheated on her, worst mistake ever.) We stopped talking about a month ago, but she texted me today and said that she had good news. She said she had recently broke up with her douchebag boyfriend and we began talking again. As usual, we rekindled the flame and i realized that i am still not over this girl, and we always keep coming back to each other. I want to be with her but both sides of friends and family would disapprove because i cheated on her. However since she is turning 18 soon we are going to wait it out, maybe. The biggest problem is that she lives two states away from me, and i dont have the money or a relieable car to go see her. She said she might move a state away after she graduates so she wont be too far, but still. What should I do? | My ex and I are talking again, she lives two states away, might move closer after she graduates, I have no money to she her, friends and family disapprove, she is about to turn 18, what should i do? |
t3_4fqtvr | relationships | I [21 F] really want kids (some day), my boyfriend [24 M] keeps changing his mind on this | My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. Once we started getting serious we had the kids, finance, religion (other important topics ect..) conversation. He seemed to brush it off and not really take it seriously saying things like "oh we'll figure that all out eventually". But I'm pretty adamant about not wasting my time in a relationship with fundamental incompatibilities.
We get along great and seem to agree on everything, except the possibility for kids in the future. For me this is an absolute deal breaker. I 100% want kids (always have, always will), and I want to be with someone who wants them too. The problem is, I'm not sure if he wants kids. In the past he has said things such as: "oh when we have kids.." or "Lets name our kids 'so and so'.." Therefore, I always assumed he wanted to be a parent. However, recently after I mentioned something rough about babysitting my cousin he said "you know, I really don't want kids". I was taken aback by this so I tried to start a serious conversation about it. I told him it was really important to me, and I would never want pressure him into it if he was not interested in being a parent. I told him he had to be brutally honest with me. He said "oh well maybe one day I'll change my mind. I don't know. I just know I don't want them now". Then he ended the conversation and wouldn't return to the topic.
I don't want to bring the topic up again. I definitely don't want kids anytime *soon*, so I don't want to freak him out and have him think I'm ready to get pregnant any day. I just want to make sure were on the same page about this.
What should I make of his responses? How do I make him take this conversation seriously without seeming too pushy? | Been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I want kids someday, boyfriend may or may not. He won't take a conversation on this topic seriously (or any important topic for that matter). What should I do? |
t3_3d1i2d | Advice | My mother found my vibrator. I am so embarrassed. | I am 25 years old in my last year of my master's program. I had to move back in with my mom for financial reasons and will be in her house until December. My mom has a history of snooping through my things, but I haven't lived with her since I graduated high school and thought she would respect my privacy as an adult. That couldn't be further from the truth: she stands outside my door while I am on the phone, counts my pills, reads letters my boyfriend writes me, etc. I usually keep some of these things in a bag and take it with me when I leave the house to avoid her finding anything I don't want her to, but this past weekend I forgot to bring the bag with me. When I returned home I noticed my closet door was open and the bag's contents were organized (clothes folded, etc). My vibrator was in there and now it is missing. She hasn't said anything about it but I am embarrassed and honestly really pissed off. I don't know how to approach her. I am so sick of living in fear of my mother at 25 years old and I am trying not feel ashamed of myself for owning a vibrator. Any advice on what you would say or how to not feel so embarrassed? | my mom found my vibrator and I am embarrassed. I don't know where she put it and I don't know how to approach her. |
t3_1htf09 | relationships | Stumbled upon ex's(28f) post and can't help but feeling hurt (24m) | Here is some [back story] if interested. We were together 2~ years ani broke things off 1.5-2 months ago.
I admittedly have been moping around r/relationships a lot more since breaking things off, the other day I came across a post which was clearly by my ex, it was on her main account. It talked about how she had been dating this guy and they slept together asking for advice of some sort. Now I know we are broken up and she has every right to date and fuck anyone she wants, heck I even encouraged her to start dating again before I went NC.
But its one thing to know in theory that she might be dating someone or something and to know that she is literally having sex with someone else and posting on the interwebs about it. Just thinking about this woman that I love fucking someone else cuts me like a knife, I'm not mad at her I'm just hurt. Maybe its just my not getting laidness that is making things worse. Now I might just be going too far here but I kind of wonder if she posted on her main just to make me jealous, she knows I know her account, she knows I'm all up in this sub and she knows how to use throwaways.
At any rate, I still think I did the right thing breaking up with her because I couldn't give her what she needed, and even going NC. I don't really know what I'm asking for here, how to stop being irrationally upset about this. How to let go of her now that we are not together, I don't really wanna have to give up reddit but its like there's nowhere that's safe now. | found a post about my ex gf sleeping with someone else and I'm torn up, how do I get over this totally expected occurrence? |
t3_1l85pw | relationships | Should I (M 24) apologize to my coworker (21 F) or leave it be? | Me and my co worker are bother in relationships. Mine has been rocky for a while and I recently have started having feeling for my coworker. For 3 weeks in a row now I have asked her to come out with me to parties. She has agreed every time and comes alone. When we end up at the bar we are all over each other with dancing, groping and kissing. Alcohol has been present everytime. After one of the nights she came back to my place and we had sex. Anyways I do like this girl and am going to end things with my girlfriend. I don't want her to break it off with her boyfriend because of me nor. Should i apologize to her for possibly causing damage to their relationship just because mine is near end? Or just leave it be? | Me and Co-worker are in separate relationships. Been "hooking up past 3 weeks". Should i apologize for advancing on her just because my relationship is on the rocks? |
t3_j2a7k | AskReddit | Friend's GF came onto me. What do I do? | Background: I have been friends with him since freshman year of college and we are currently post-grad roommates. He has been dating her for nearly 4 years. I am pretty good friends with her since they started dating and she fits into our circle of friends well also. She has been there for me as girls have come and gone from my life, and I consider her one of my closest female friends, and while she is attractive, it's always been platonic. Their relationship has always been solid and as far as I know, equally faithful.
So yesterday, I had just returned from work and the gym when my friend texts me saying he is working late, but the GF was planning on coming over. I said no problem, cooked dinner, watched espn and showered up. I was lounging around in shorts when she buzzed to be let in. She came in, sat down next to me and we caught up; all perfectly normal stuff. I got up to clean up in the kitchen and she came in moments later, and kind-of caressed my back and asked if she could help. I was a little freaked out, but I shrugged it off and let her help out. With the dishes done we went back to the sofa, and I asked if there was something she wanted to watch/do. That was where she then grabbed my hand and moved herself to straddle me. She moved in for a kiss, as I pushed her to the side and stood up. I said, "Whoa, what the hell?" to which she started tearing up and said, "I don't know what came over me, but I've been finding myself more and more attracted to you." I told her it could never happen, and that I won't lose two friendships over it. I left my apartment, told my friend that I went out for some drinks with co-workers and made sure I got back really late. I don't know if they talked about it, but he hasn't said anything about it to me.
I don't know what to do or say to either of them. I need reddit's help on this one. Thanks | Friend's GF came onto me out of no where. I pushed her away, and now I don't know how to react. |
t3_11wp4h | AskReddit | When has a plan to make a move on someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if applicable) gone horribly, horribly wrong? | My friend just told me that an attractive woman was working at the store across the street from my house. I had to loan my Debit card to my dad (long story), so I only had three bucks in cash. I needed bread anyway, so I figured I'd buy a loaf and make a move while I paid for it. In, out, easy.
I get to the store, find out that they're $3.39 each (but also buy one, get one free, so eh). After asking the attractive girl in question and realizing I didn't have enough cash, I had to go back to the house and grab 50 cents in quarters.
I figured it was okay, though. She held on to the loaf of bread, so now I have an excuse to get in her line as opposed to another one. I grab another loaf of bread and wait in her line.
Then one of her co-workers opens another line. I offer to let the person in front of me go first so that I could stay in the line I was in, but he had a full cart and I only had one loaf of bread. Then I tried to use the "But [attractive girl] has my other loaf of bread. She's holding it hostage," and gave a forced laugh.
Her co-worker, totally oblivious to what I was trying to do (understandably-- she had no way to know), cheerfully said "Oh, that's okay!" and took the first loaf of bread from the girl I had gone to talk to. So now I was stuck in this new line, and had to leave the store without even coming close to making a move, AND I looked kinda stupid/poor/both for not having more than three dollars in cash on me. | Went to store across the street to talk to hot chick and buy bread. Didn't have enough for bread. Had to go back home to get more. She ended up not even ringing me up. |
t3_2z98l4 | tifu | TIFU by going on a "date" with a crazy girl. Drama ensues. | I had a date set up with a girl for Friday night. It was pretty typical; food at an Italian restaurant, drinks afterwards...you get the shtick. For some reason I had really liked this girl quite a bit despite the fact that she had a troubled past. Honestly, who doesn't?
So a few hours before, I get a text from her saying that she was not 100% feeling like herself from an unspecified incident that had occurred a few months earlier. Okay, whatever. So we didn't do dinner and I tried to make this "date" less serious and formal.
We like the same music anyways so the drive downtown was a lot of fun. We wound up in a hookah bar and got bored with it after about fifteen minutes of both of us complaining on how crappy the service and the music was--this was more of a bonding experience for us than anything; we were only led by curiosity. We leave and get some food.
She goes back into how she isn't ready for serious dating or anything, but she still wanted to screw me. I reiterated that I wasn't going to do anything to pressure her and I'll wait until she was ready. I am used to women being distant to me at first, so this wasn't anything new to me.
So we go out to a few bars for drinks. Everything is okay. We head to another bar that was closer to my apartment and she begins tearing up. I wipe off her tears and try to console her; she calls me a queer. I go outside to cool off for a second, I brush it off, and I proceed to drink heavily.
We get back to my apartment for what I was hoping would be a hot and steamy session. I get back to the living room after stripping down to my boxers and I find her passed out on the floor. I put a pillow under her head and put a blanket on her. I went to sleep in my own room.
Easily the most disappointing "date" I have ever been on. | Went on date with crazy girl. She has a nervous break down, starts crying, calls me a queer. She passes out once we get back to my apartment. |
t3_1wcyt7 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my loneliness, I haven't had a "thing" with a girl for 3 years feeling extreme loneliness | not even a throw away because im just to a point like this. basically ive had one girlfriend in my whole life. it was a 9 month relationship 3 years ago (it ended 3 years ago approx) and im out of school now working a full time job feeling lonely as ever. I have a great family and a bunch of close friends but theres still a hole. I know i sound bitchy and naggy and " i should have the shit kicked out of me for saying such things" but fuck man... i just feel so alone and all i want is a SO to share things with. I just want to know how to cope with loneliness or what i should do... (btw its not depression its litteraly just loneliness)
(english was always my worst subject sorry for lack of ability to express myself through words.) | Its been very long since my last relationship, feeling extremely lonely. How do I cope? or "get back in the game: so to speak. |
t3_4qknkb | relationships | My best friend (37f) is looking for love in all the wrong places. How can I (31f) help? | Originally posted in r/AskWomen, was advised to post here.
Ronda (name changed for privacy) has been my best friend for almost 10yrs. She's always been supportive, honest, and helpful. For the past 4yrs Ronda has been jumping from man to man.. Married men, single men, young men, old men...doesn't matter.
We live in a very small town (pop. around 3000.) Today, it was brought to my attention that most of the town talks about Ronda's escapades.
I have discussed Ronda's promiscuity with her before. She acknowledges it and says she wants to change, but doesn't know how.
It hurts to know how people see Ronda. She's a great friend and loving person. What she really wants is to find a man and settle down. She "falls in love" with every man she has sex with, even the married ones. Then she cries to me about them not calling/texting her after she has sex with them. I fear that her chances of finding a LTR near home is almost 0% because of her reputation. I also worry about Ronda because she never practices safe sex. (I have repeatedly voiced my concern about her unsafe practices.)
I'm not trying to "slut shame" Ronda, because I could care less who she has sex with, I think she is amazing! But the constant string of casual sexual encounters seem to be making Ronda miserable. She deserves to be happy but doesn't know how to find a relationship without it beginning with sex.
How do I help Ronda through this??? Do I tell her that the whole town is talking about her? | my best friend is promiscuous but says she wants to change and find a LTR. How can I help? |
t3_448wg2 | legaladvice | Not sure whether to press charges or not... | Every time I go out of town I always leave my keys with the same guy. We never had problems in the past, he would come check on the mail make sure everything looked good and he would leave. This time while I was out of town, I had a package coming and since it was going to snow I told him not to worry about it. Him being the anxious guy that he is, he gave my keys to his friend to check on the package since he had to go to work (I've only met this person twice and would never trust him with my keys or anything really) anyways this guy brought 4 other people into my house, the one girl who stayed there has a criminal record and past theft records. She didn't steal anything major but counting everything it's about $1000 worth of stuff. She took a bunch of new clothes still with tags, makeup (expensive make up), expensive face creams, 2 old cell phones and an iPod touch ( this is only what I have discovered to be missing so far ). When I first got home I thought someone broke in so I called the cops, once I started finding out what was missing I called the cop again. After I had spoken to the officer who came to my house, her partner called me and told me that it is not worth it to go after them since they know where I live and that they will try to come after me or send their friends my way. Now I don't know what to do. Should I press charges or are the items not even worth fighting for? My only thing is that the cell phones and iPod have pictures and other personal information on them. Please help! | friend gave his friend my keys while I was out of town. That friend brought 4 other people. Shit got stolen. Not sure whether or not to press charges after cop advised me not to go after them for safety issues. |
t3_3y1oxk | personalfinance | Yikes: 3 credit reports, 3 different addresses on file! | I was one of those folks whose information was compromised in the recent Office of Personnel Management hack, so I was given free credit monitoring. I just checked it, and saw that I have three different addresses on the three different reports.
They're all actual addresses of mine, which is good. One is correct. Of the other two, one is my mom's address, which I used as my forwarding address with the USPS when I moved away from my college town after graduation but didn't have my new place to live yet. The other was my address in my college town.
What's the best way to fix this? I've already updated the addresses for all my credit cards and bank accounts, so I don't really know what else to do. Do I just wait for the correct addresses to get reported, or should I try to get them updated to my current address?
I moved to my new address about 6 months ago, if it makes a difference. | How do I get my address reported correctly to the different credit bureaus if I've already updated my address for all my cards/bank accounts/loans? |
t3_1ra8ri | cats | Escalating cat fights... need advice.... | Hi! Im new to this sub so if there is a better place for this post please let me know. That being said, here is my situation: 3 indoor cats, 1200 sq. foot house. Small 3 legged 4 year old male(Speck), chunky 5 year old female(Whipple), large 5 year old male(Arbor). The 3 legged guy and 5 year old girl have lived together here since they were little and get along fine, they used to play tussle and keep each other busy before the 5 year old big guy moved in. Arbor(the big guy) moved in about 6 months ago. We introduced him to the other cats slowly over a few weeks. He had a baby gate and his own food behind it, but could see the other cats and after a few weeks we let them all be together. The female(whipple) and arbor have always fought a little, but it seems to be getting worse and more aggressive. Arbor is totally docile, whipple is.. hmm.. she is sort of.. how can i say this?.. distant? touched? she is just weird.. she likes to be involved with us and is social, but also sort of just not totally present. She hangs out with us, watches tv, gets pet, plays stick and feather, laser pointer etc... but then she turns into this bully towards Arbor. She messes with his tail and just sort of follows him around and then pounces on him. We have been making an effort to distract her with play, which works in the short term, but then she's back at him. I dont think she is threatened by him or his size, she just sort of acts like a bored older brother messing with his little sibling. because he can. All the cats have spaces to be alone, there are places with some height that they can observe the room. They have separate feeding areas which seems to be working fine as they don't fight during feeding, but 10 minutes after feeding, when they are done and cleaning themselves seems to be a regular fight time. This is causing us some stress as naturally we love em all, but the bullying is getting worse... any advice? let me know if you need any other info about our situation. | Female cat seems bored and starts messing with larger male cat and is bullying the crap out of him and its a problem/stressor. |
t3_3l88ya | offmychest | I wish she never came back. | I've had pretty bad luck in dating. I finally met a great guy after my (ex) boyfriend and I broke up. We didn't date long until "she" came back. I swear exes have a sixth sense when the other person moves on. Anyways, he was everything I've ever wanted in a man. I was so excited about him, and him me. Until he heard from "her". Almost a year since they had last spoken she reached out to him. Now he needs to try to see if he can make it work with her. I wish she stayed away.
I can't say I have a broken heart because we weren't dating long. But I am so, so disappointed. I was blindsided (as was he). I feel really alone and sad. I'm not sure I'll meet anyone who checked all the boxes for me like he did. What's worse is he was so sorry and remorseful about it. A gentleman to the end. What makes it even worse is he said it was an unhealthy relationship, yet he still planned to propose before they broke up. | new guys ex came back. He chose her. I'm super bummed. Feel like I'll always be alone and on the losing end of relationships. |
t3_3a01w8 | relationships | Is it worth it for me (21 M) to go to dinner with her (21 F), a long time friend that I finally asked out, even though "she's been seeing someone (?? M) -- I didn't know she was seeing someone until after I asked her out. | As title says I've been friends with this girl for the last two years. I was in a relationship when I met her, but we clicked very shortly. However, I stayed in my relationship too long (another year) and felt like my chance with this other girl was over and we'd just be friends.
However, over the last few weeks we've been hanging out a lot and been a little touchy feely so I finally got up the courage to ask her out and she said that she would get coffee or food with me but that she wanted to disclose the fact that "she has been seeing/talking to someone for about a month." This is the first I've heard of him despite the fact that we've talked about her flings before.
So now I'm just confused. Is she interested in me, or does she just want to string this along?
Look, I'm fine with this just staying a friendship if that's what she wants, but then I also don't want to be like taking her out on dates.
Any help would be great, should I just go to the lunch or dinner or whatever and clearly lay out my feelings?
Thanks for the responses | finally asked friend out on date, she said sure but that she is seeing someone -- don't know whether I should go on date |
t3_2a6ijn | relationships | I (16 M) really care about my girlfriend (16 F) who I've now been dating for roughly 2 months, but I'm scared to get attached and need some advice. | Hi reddit. I know we're young and all, but I feel different about her. I've been in relationships, but they were kind of forced.
I've been with this girl for not very long and we've been closer than I've ever been with anyone. I feel as though I've known her my whole life, she knows everything about me and she has told me a lot about herself.
My thing is I am a bitter person. My dad was abusive and left when I was young and I've been a disappointment to my mom and step dad, which has really made me to where I don't care as much anymore about emotional things.
It would be safe to say that I'm in love. I can be myself around this girl and she is the same around me, but I don't want to hurt her. I come off as very unemotional and I feel like that really gets to her.
What do I do? Do I tell her how I feel or do I just let it all roll on like my other relationships | I love this girl, but I'm scared to be attached because people have left me before. What do I do? |
t3_4na5ur | relationship_advice | I (19M) met a girl (20) and need advice | First time posting here so apologies if I've done something wrong..
I've been seeing a girl for nearly over a month who I met through a mutual friend, we have so much in common it freaks me out a little bit because most girls I've met I've never connected with.
She knows practically everything about me, issues with my dad etc (I also lost my virginity to this girl, I know late bloomer) but getting to the main part, I told her I didn't want to jump into a relationship with her which she's always been cool with, but I have a feeling she has been meeting another guy and I don't know how I should feel about this..
Any advice would be appreciated | met an awesome girl, lost my virginity to her, told her I'm not ready for anything serious and now think she's meeting another guy. |
t3_38lfwq | legaladvice | Forged signature on certified mail court summons--is the judgment still valid? Ohio | My husband and I recently found out about a hearing that took place over a car accident that happened over a decade ago. My husband was T-boned by a speeding car, and he was cited for failure to yield. He also did not have insurance, and he lost his driver's license. He paid his fine and didn't have a reason to get his license back since then so he assumed it was done with.
Turns out the insurance company of the other driver had sued him. My husband was never aware of any court date, and since he did not show up to the hearing they were awarded the default judgment of around 1500 dollars with 5% interest per year. So now he owes around 2800 to the lawyers who sued him if he wants to get his license back. We have tried to settle with them but their paralegals have been rude, dishonest, and all around uncooperative and have made it clear that we will never speak to the actual attorneys who were involved.
Today I asked the clerk of courts for a copy of the signature on the certified mail that was supposedly delivered (court docket states that it was signed by my husband) and it is obviously a forgery. It had been delivered to the home of his ex-girlfriend's sister and he suspects one of them thought there was money in the envelope (they are known for cashing in on others' social security checks if they aren't around). He doesn't even know if he was staying there at the time--he was homeless because his car (aka his "home") was totaled in the accident.
Because he never received nor was aware of any court summons, is the judgment invalidated in any way? Is it worth making an appeal to a judge? We could probably manage to satisfy the vultures we are dealing with now, but it is a last resort. | 10 years ago, signature on court summons via certified mail was forged and husband had no idea there was ever a hearing. Now we owe 2800, or no drivers license. |
t3_33mw2y | relationships | My high school sweetheart | I'm (22M) stationed across the nation now (USA) but never really got over my high school sweetheart (23F) who I was with for over 2 years. We were off and on for a while but the distance was too much to keep things steady. I felt mostly moved on from a couple months of no contact but a friend just let me know she is in a relationship now and is PREGNANT. This swirled a lot emotions and I don't know how to process this. She was supposed to be the one I started a family with one day and now she is without me. It hurts and I don't know what to do. | My high school sweetheart broke up with me and is now pregnant with someone else. I don't know how to process this. |
t3_35k57c | relationships | How do I [19 M] approach my mother [48 F] about letting me run loose this summer? | This will be my first summer back from college. I'm single for the first time in a year and I also want to party a bit with my friends. I realize that I am living in my parents house and I should respect their requests. I have a good relationship with my mom and I don't like to upset her. However, she works full time and I only work part time. Allowing me to go out almost whenever I want, while she is awake at night worrying about me. I don't want to be too much trouble for her but I also want to go out and have fun without reporting in at midnight every night. I appreciate any advice you guys have. | Want to go party and have fun this summer. Live with parents still and mom worries about me and likes to know where I am and what I am doing. |
t3_2pasa8 | relationships | I [18/M] know this sounds like bullshit, but it really matters - about my [20/F] crush | Hey!
I've invited a friend of mine to a book fair near home, and she accepted. Then I asked my crush if she didn't want to come too. I was only able to do so via text (we're on school holidays), and this is the situation:
- I never texted her before, but we do have our numbers because of the classroom WhatsApp group.
- I asked her at 11AM. I was scheduled to meet my friend at 3PM
- She *got* online at WhatsApp at 12PM, as well as 12:30PM.
- She didn't answer until 6PM
- When she answered, she said she left her phone home and didn't see it, and that she couldn't go anyway.
----
Then, I asked for the help of a friend of mine; she only said this: "Bitch". She thinks her reply is bullshit, and that she's somehow *avoiding* me.
----
Then, at around 10PM, already back home, I posted a pic of the books I bought. One of the people that liked it was the crush. The question is: **does that like imply that she was actually sincere? Does it mean that she actually wasn't *avoiding* me?**
Thanks for the help! | Asked my crush out and she refused after the event was over. Asked my friend and she said she was avoiding me - but some hours later she liked my event-related post on Facebook |
t3_26hnsv | relationship_advice | I'm [22/m] not sure whether I should pursue this girl that I really enjoy being around [20/f]. | I have spent the past year recovering from a 4-year, long-distance relationship wherein I derived all my self-worth and happiness from the girl I was with. This led me to the terrible realization those years were probably a waste. I became complacent. I thought this girl was all I needed. During the years we were together, I didn't take any steps to better myself, seek out new experiences, and grow as a person. I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the head for being so stupid and wasting so much time.
But these last months have been amazing. I feel like I'm growing again and am excited by what lies ahead in terms of who I will meet, what I will learn, and where I will end up. I never had this kind of happiness and optimism when I was with my ex.
So enter this new girl, who I met in ochem lab at university. I have three reservations about pursuing this girl, even though I really enjoy being around her.
1) I have only recently discovered a new kind of drive and happiness that comes from being single, which is far better than anything that came out of my previous relationship. I'm afraid that if this friendship turns into something else, I will fall back into the same kind of stagnation that I had in my last relationship.
2) I'm also not sure whether she would be a positive influence in my life. She's kind of a party girl, which I'm a little bit wary of.
3) I'm not sure if she's even interested in me.
Here's some context:
Last week I asked her out to lunch and two days later we went out again for dinner. I took her on the back of my motorcycle - both times were really fun and we both had a good time. She asked me if I wanted to go to this rave on saturday, but I had just gotten out of the ER the previous day and couldn't really walk straight. She brought me soup, said it was for someone else but that they didn't want it.
Thanks for reading. I don't know what to do. I would really appreciate some guidance. | Met girl I like. Also like being single. Not sure which would make me happier. Also unsure whether she's interested. |
t3_1roxp0 | relationships | Me [24m] can't get my ex [24f] out of my head. | We started dating when we were 15, and stayed together until we were 20. Broke up under shitty terms (for me) but stayed friends anyway until we were ~23 (with a lot of fallouts in between, the last one just after turning 23). I don't like the person she became, and she'd say the same of me, and we haven't spoken in over half a year (with no plans to do so). However, regardless of the fact I want nothing to do with her and vice versa, I can't get her out of my head. It's like I'm stuck feeling for the person she was, almost like loving a ghost. I compare every woman I date to her, as if she was the holy grail of women (and she definitely wasn't by any standards).
If she came to my house right now and threw everything on the table and wanted to try to start anew, I'd tell her to leave and if that didn't work I'd definitely call the cops. It's driving me fucking crazy that I can't stop thinking about the person she was and what we had then. 4 years ago the breakup happened, so that means I can't discuss this with my friends and I just wanted to know if there was anything I can do to remedy this or even just an explaination as to why I keep torturing myself. Any help is appreciated. | broke up a long time ago, stuck on the past, would like to know how to get over it or why it's happening |
t3_3ya5cs | relationships | My wife (33 F) won't let me (33 M) leave the house after 9PM or so. She says she can't sleep and feels unsafe. Am I wrong to resent this? | The marriage is otherwise great. She is a wonderful partner, and mother to our 1 year old so. I couldn't be happier, and this isn't some doomsday issue, though we do fight about it.
The reason I like to go out late is to drive my sports car and listen to podcasts, sometimes I visit my brother. I don't go speeding in it, I don't race. I just love the car and have no other time to myself. It's not the kind of car I can drive to work. She goes to bed quite early, so after 9pm seems perfect to me because I can spend the maximum amount of time with her and my son, and still have time to myself.
I'd love to do this a couple times a week.
My wife says that she can't go to sleep if I'm away. Our house was broken into once before, and she points to that to say that I need to stay at home. I propose we move house if she feels that way, or further tighten up security. She says that she thinks it's irresponsible of me to want to leave her home alone. She gets quite angry at me for wanting to solve her concerns about safety, and not just staying in regardless. At one point she said she'd feel more comfortable if we added more security cameras. I've organized that, but now she says that she still feels the same way.
I think that this is ludicrous, and have even suggested that she talk to a therapist or counselor about managing her fear. She thinks she's being completely reasonable and I am the one acting bizarrely.
I love her to death and would love to hear other opinions on the situation, especially if I am in the wrong, and any suggestions for solutions. | Wife won't let me go on the odd late night drive. I feel it's stifling. She thinks I'm being an asshole. |
t3_126uw7 | relationship_advice | [22/m] hopelessly confused about best friend [22/f] | So I dated this girl for a year or two in middle school / early high school. We ended up breaking it off but have been best friends ever since and go to the same university. I've always loved her and would date her in a heartbeat but she just wanted to be friends and I had reconciled myself to that fact and, for the most part, moved on. Over the years she has been in several unhealthy relationships in which her bf cheated on her and she has become leery of relationships in general. She basically knows my feelings for her because every couple years she would mention that she still thinks about us possibly being together and the last time, I told her she had to stop unless she was actually ready for something because every time she does this it messes with my head and it takes me a while to move on.
Last night she told me she has always wanted to end up with me but is afraid that it won't work out and we'll end up losing each other as friends. This was the most serious discussion we've ever had about getting together and again it has my hopes up. I feel like I should pursue it but at the same time, if she's still not ready, I definitely don't want to lose her as a friend. Anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice? | Best friend who I've had feelings for for years told me she has always wanted to end up with me but doesn't want something to happen and lose our friendship. I don't know what to do. |
t3_1xy0bc | offmychest | not my fucking kids..not my problem | hi everyone..back again with another kids issue....
i find it strange that rich/well to do people pay no attention to their kids and those kids have zero clue about how to let their parents know their plans....
its seems that everytime the woman i live withs kids friends and her kids make plans it involves ZERO communication between the friends and their parents...
case in point..
kids want to spend the night...apparently the parents dont learn of it till that night...and they say NO
this means i have to go pick up 4-5 kids that are not mine not including the woman i live withs kids because NONE of these kids parents answer their phones if their kids call..
or my personal favorite..we have made plans..have to pick up one of the WILW kids and lo and behold i learn i now have to drop off one of his friends to, but wait i dont own a van i dont have the space..so i have to drop one person off, come back pick them up drop them off then go back and pick up the right person..by this point my plans for the night are shot to shit..
am i an asshole because i refuse to take responsibilty to transport some other assholes kids cause the kid is to stupid to tell them the plans or the parents to fucking busy getting drunk to handle their own shit? | your kids are gonna be stranded at someones house if u dont answer your fucking phone when they call for you to pick them up cause im not a fucking taxi service. |
t3_3qyn4n | relationships | Me [32M] and girlfriend [30F] broke up after 5 years, but we both legitimately want to stay in each other's lives as friends | My girlfriend and I had been dating for 5 years, living together for most of that time. We'd been generally happy, and there was no infidelity, abuse, or anything that would otherwise make us hostile to one another now that it's ended.
Our lives really became closely intertwined: my consultancy does a lot of work for her charity; we have a house/cat together; many shared friends; etc. We've only been broken up for a day, but right after breaking up, we ran into a couple friends and went to the bar for drinks, and frankly it was one of the best times I've had with her in a while.
A big part of what precipitated the breakup was being unable to approach our relationship in a way that didn't add stress (it became essentially another to-do item on the list of two workaholics), and a sort of self-imposed isolation stemming from too much co-dependence, so neither of us were making new friends to replace the ones from before who moved away/had babies. We ended up together all the time, still having fun moments and good sex, but neither of us were really happy with our lives.
Obviously since it's such a recent breakup, and we were together for a long time, we're both in pretty bad pain right now, so I don't think it's a good time to plan any big life changes (like moving to new cities, or even taking new jobs). We both agree we don't want to lose the other in our lives. Considering how great we get along when we're not spending all day together, and when I can be relaxed in social situations because I'm not constantly worried about how she's affected by how I'm representing her. I think we can have a really excellent relationship together, so long as we're not a couple. | Partner of 5 years and I just broke up, and I want to figure out how we can keep our functional friendship and working relationship, after dropping the dysfunctional romantic one. |
t3_1mp6km | AskReddit | How do you kill hope? | So here is the situation: I am normally a very logical person but in recent months, I seem to have lost the ability to control my emotions with the same strength that I used to be able to. The reason for this recent development is, well, a girl that I have fallen in love with. But here is the hard part: she is currently dating my former best friend. But when they started dating, she did not know my feelings for her which were, at the time nothing more than a heavy crush. I then made the regrettable decision to make my feelings for her known in hopes to shunt their relationship before it went anywhere. But that didn't work. and before anyone starts trying to call me a bad person, he made his move on her with full knowledge of my feelings for her. Hence the former. Oh, and another thing: he made his move on her 2 DAYS after her ex broke up with her. I was going to wait for at least a month before I started dropping hints or anything like that, you know, to give her some time. And I feel betrayed by him an I think I am right in doin so. But over the past 2 months, that crush that I had has amplified and grown into something more powerful than any emotion that I have ever experienced before. And the fact that, due to other circumstances, my former best friend currently lives in my basement. So this girl that I am in love with; she is over at my house almost every day. I know that doesn't help any, but he doesn't have anywhere else to go. Even if he did betray me, I am not going to kick him out onto the street. So after much turmoil and emotional torment, I had a moment of clarity and have come up with the solution of: I must kill the hope that she will ever love me in the same way that I love her. But see, I don't know how to do that. So... How does one go about killing hope? | I'm in love with a girl who is a very close friend of mine and need to know how to kill the hope that we will ever be together. |
t3_1rsgk6 | relationships | SO (22M) disappointed with my (23F) response to 3sums | We've only been dating for a month
*We get along better than the norm.
*his friends adore how we are with eachother.
*He suggests a future together involving kids marriage and a home.
*Doesn't initiate sex or get intimate with me a fraction of what other boyfriends have. Which i'm still learning to accept.
*I do things for him no other woman has. In terms of taking care of him, his place, and doing things for his friends.
*Asked me if I was interested in a threesome before he asked me out. I said i've been with girls and it's not my thing. Texts me last night that "I'm faithful to you and would never hurt you, but you said you weren't interested in a threesome, and that frustrates me" | he wont even let me kiss him late at night, but he wants to invite another woman into our sex life (That hardly even started) |
t3_12kz63 | BreakUps | My girlfriend (18f) of almost two years just left me (19m) for one of my best friends. I don't know what I did wrong reddit, I'm fucking heartbroken | I've been with this girl since I graduated high school. My fall semester she got sick with stage one ovarian cancer. It was never life threatening but she had to go through chemo and I stuck with her the entire time. Our romance was magical and we both were completely head over heels in love. Even when she was bald from the chemo I still thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world
When she got better she went to college with me and met one of my good friends. I took a job at a campaign office to make some money for traveling and she began to spend more and more time with him. She never liked that I worked, she always wanted me around her.
Last night she told me that she was no longer attracted to me and was leaving me for him. This literally came out of nowhere and I feel utterly betrayed. Literally everything was fine 12 hours before, then I went to work since its almost election day and they need me and she was gone. I feel betrayed by her and him especially. I feel he manipulated her and turned her against me (he could too hes a psych major). This guy is not good for her either. Hes a former heroin addict, a current alchoholic and has serious psychotic tendencies.
What the fuck do I do reddit? I dont even know what I did wrong to begin with. I just lost the most important thing in my life and I dont even know why | Cancer survivor girlfriend left me for my alcoholic best friend because I was at work. Confused as hell and heartbroken. |
t3_3et4bj | tifu | TIFU by thinking I could delete messages in whatsapp before they are read - embarrassed myself to the only person I've had a true connection with since I don't remember when.. X-POST from r/whatsapp | So I met this girl on vacation on an island (we're both over 30), we shared a perfect day and night, and held hands in the wee small hours of the morning. We parted ways when the sun came up.
We exchanged numbers and kept in touch through whatsapp. At one point she got on the plane to fly back home and I started writing a long winded message to her. Wrote it, deleted, then rewrote then deleted again. I thought a single tick in whatsapp meant the message can be recalled so I could delete and rewrite until I was happy with the meaning that was conveyed.
What happened was when she landed, she got all ten versions of a message I had ultimately decided against sending. She said it's fine but it can't be. It's fair to assume she's weirded out. I know I would be.
Why on earth would the developers stick a delete button up there if it gets sent anyway? Very poorly thought out feature imho /rant | thought I was deleting unread messages, ended up sending 10 different versions of a message, probably ruined any and all chances I had with a soul mate. Fuck me dead. |
t3_485sa6 | relationship_advice | I'm [22f] wondering if I should do because my boyfriend [21m] choked me... | Well...I'm really kind of ashamed to admit it and this is the first time this has ever happened, but 2 days ago, we were both pretty drunk and I started to pitch a fit about him being a little over enthusiastic about wanted to see one of my girl friend's boobs during a truth or dare game. After arguing for a good minute about it and he slaps me really hard. I started crying, and freaking out, he slaps me again. I don't remember what I said back at him, but then he choked me - like both hands around my throat for like 20 seconds before he let me go...The next day, he's crying and apologizing for what he did because he's never hit a woman, let alone choke one before. I'm not afraid of him and I do believe he's a good guy...I guess I'm just confused about what I should do, even though it seems really obvious. I don't know if I should tell anyone because I don't want our friends to look at him differently. And if I leave him, we're still going to see each other a lot because of how small our college campus is and we both live in the dorms...And on top of all that, I'll be graduating and leaving in May. Should I just tough it out until I leave? | My boyfriend and I got into an argument while drunk, he slapped and choked me. I'm confused about how I should feel and what I should do. |
t3_43vbx7 | relationships | I [21F] have a clingy ex [24?M] from over five years ago. | Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
I had a casual boyfriend that lasted in HS about a month, if not less. He broke up with me due to him not being a great person. I moved on many years ago and have zero interest of rekindling anything. However every year he tries to befriend me and message me on FB around the time we started dating, but it never works. This year, I decided to hear him out since I figured there had to be a reason to his persistence for OVER FIVE YEARS. Because who does that!? Maybe he wanted to apologize for some terrible stuff he did when we dated. Nope, he just wanted to tell me how much he loves me and regrets leaving me. It's not an attempt at a booty call either. I just laugh to myself and admittedly feel great hearing he can't get over me since I completely forgot about him until he messaged me again this year. I've been rude/blunt with his past attempts to talk to me and blocked. It just boggles my mind that he keeps trying. I removed his block due to mutual friends, and he isn't a threat to me.
Has anyone else ever had this experience? I mainly just wanted to see other people's experiences with clingy ex's and how they dealt with them. | clingy casual boyfriend from high school continues trying to get back together every year for five years. Never happened before and not happening now. |
t3_zht67 | AskReddit | Dear reddit, what is the dumbest thing you have ever done in the name of God? | When I was a young Catholic school boy I was a bit of a troublemaker. Not a terrible kid, but definitely not an angel. Then in 8th grade I started getting some acne. It would never amount to much, but back then a zit on my nose and suddenly my world was crashing down around me. So I decided that God was punishing me and I had to repent for my little kid sins. And it kinda worked. For like a day, or something, but enough to convince 8th grade me that walking the straight and narrow was the way to stay acne free.
So fast forward a few months and there is a new girl who had moved into my neighborhood for about a year. And she wound up going to my same small Catholic school. We carpooled there and back, hung out everyday after school. I was head over heels for her. And she was hot. I feel creepy saying this now that I'm 24, but fuck it she was hot, and had boobs. Like full B's in 8th grade. So ya I was obsessed with her. What I didn't know was that she liked me back...
So one day after school I'm hanging out with her in her room. She is trying on different bikinis and having me rate how she looks in them. 8th grade boy heaven. After a few different pairs she goes into her closet and says "you can come in and watch me change if you want". I deliberate. I have never wanted to go into a closet so bad. LIKE SO BAD. I still want to get in that closet. But I decide that this is Gods way of testing me. "No, I think I'll just stay out here". And boom, I never get another chance again. To this day I still think about this incident. Not often but like once every six months I'll laugh to myself and think how fucking stupid that was. I coulda got BOOB. | I coulda got some boob in 8th grade but I decided not to because I thought that God would smite me with acne |
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