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t3_p996j | running | How much time off mid-marathon training before deciding to scratch? | So, I ran the NYC marathon in November, did a very nice first-time pace of 4h25m45s (in VFFs). Felt great afterward, and decided to sign up for the DC marathon this March. Kept up my training, it felt great already being at distance. My last long run was a 16 miler that felt *great* and my 5k times are down to about 22m.
Then, about 2 weekends ago I had a pretty fun weekend, and shirked my long runs. I then did a 6-miler on the following monday, and tweaked my ankle. Nothing so bad, doesn't hurt while walking or standing on one foot, balls of the toes. But it's sore when I run, enough so that I instantly can tell when I start to run that it's a bad idea, and I should stop. One day I aggravated the ankle by going through with a run anyway, obviously a bad idea.
So my question isn't "what could be wrong with me?" I, of course, have doctors to help me with that kind of question. My question is, with about 6-7 weeks before the marathon, how much time off, in your opinions, can I take to get my ankle healthy, and still have enough in the tank to finish? Especially since I want to delay telling my friend (who is running her first marathon due to my inspiration) that I'm scratching and she'll be on her own.
I'm personally leaning to the idea that muscle takes a while to atrophy, so that even after many weeks off, my speed might be gone but the strength will still be there. But that might just be wishful thinking. | How much time not training will it take for you to go from marathon condition to non-marathon condition, with speed not a huge concern. |
t3_e63po | AskReddit | Reddit, how do you improve the ability to focus on things for which you have no interest? | Hey reddit... just a background to perhaps explain my predicament better.
I'm a very intelligent person. Standardized test, IQ tests etc I routinely score in the top couple percentile without any preparation.
When I come across a task I'm interested in, I can focus on it for days with only interruptions being food and sleep. I'll exceed any expectations and do extraordinarily well.
But, on the exact opposite. If I don't have a strong interest in something, I have no hope. I fade off nearly instantly. I'm talking a half way through the first paragraph of a chapter in a textbook and I'm completely gone. It takes me all day to do a short essay that a below average person would do in an hour or so.
And it's pretty severely holding me back in work and school. I'm 4.5 years into college and college has yet to challenge me in any way other then attention span. If I were capable of getting myself to focus, I could have graduated two years ago. But I absolutely can't.
I'm not sure how much of my attention problem is placebic (that is, I believe that I can't focus so my already low ability to focus is lowered to meet my increasingly lowering expectations...) and how much of it is reality. To add, I also have pretty bad short term memory and, I guess, ADD. I've never had the hyperactivity proponent; quite the contrary. As a kid I would sit and play with ONE toy for as long as I was allowed to play. And I'm still that way. One task that I find interesting completely employs me for as much time as I have to spend.
So...blah blah blah... I'd rather not resort to adderal or similar drugs; I've read too much bad about them to want to try it out. So what else do you guys do to aid yourselves if you have this problem? | ironic... I, too, found this too long to read... I can't focus on things unless I have a very strong interest in them. What can I do (non-chemically) to help. |
t3_i9bi1 | dating_advice | How do you get a relationship? | I posted this in /r/depression and they told me to post in /r/relationships, so I did. THEY told me to post here. I hope this is right!
Background info: I am a 32 year old woman who has been single for six years.
I have been looking for a relationship since about 2 or 3 months after my last BF broke up with me in 2005. I have tried pretty much every dating site that there is, free and paid. I have engaged in various activities such as volunteering, going to support groups, going to the gym, and going to church. I have asked friends to fix me up.
So far, no man has been interested in giving me a chance in terms of dating/a relationship. Even before this bad streak, no man I was ever interested in was interested in me. All my exes are guys I had no interest in that I talked myself in to because they were my only options. Thus, I have extremely low standards, so that isn't the issue.
At my age, I am not interested in waiting any longer to live the life that I want, which is a life WITH someone. I am also far too old to be wondering, "What does it feel like to have someone love you?"
How do I get a relationship? It seems impossible! | I have tried every route I know of to get a man and have not been able to get anyone to give me a chance. Where do I get someone?! |
t3_2wwf1k | relationships | Me [17F] with my bf [18M] Relationship needs help | me and my bf have been dating on and off for about a year. We really love each other, but he's about to go to college and I'm stayin back home. We are both very insecure and don't want to be apart for a year or two. Also, lately I've been feeling like I don't have the same feelings for him. I've been very confused. Sometimes I feel like it would be better if we broke up and other times I can't picture my life without him. I can't figure out what's wrong! Sex is great, communication is good. We literally tell each other everything. I don't find him that attractive anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't want us to break up. What can I do to make things better? | bf and I love each other, he's leaving to college, don't find him that attractive, how can I make things better? |
t3_4zaffx | relationship_advice | my girlfriend and i [both 20/f] are going to break up in 6 months. please help | I know we're going to break up because we've talked about it. we've been dating for a year and a half, and i love her so much, but our futures just are incompatible and we both know it. we're from vastly different countries and cultures and her job and passion is probably going to take her travelling everywhere, whereas I don't even know if i can stay in the US after i graduate from college. so we decided that after this first semester, we're going to break up. she's going to go study abroad in shanghai, so we figure that it'll be the best time, since we both won't see each other for about 8 or 9 months.
i'm honestly so heartbroken, i can already feel it. i know that this is for the best, but i'm still really sad about it. my parents don't know that i'm gay, and i know they don't support it. i don't know how to handle this. i want to explore new options and date other women, but at the same time i can't bear to think about not being with her. we've been through so much and the idea of starting over with someone new is so daunting. please, please give me some advice. (for the record, staying together isn't really an option) | my girlfriend and I are breaking up in 6 months because we both know our futures are incompatible; i am so sad and i would love to hear some advice or kind words. |
t3_2f9hq3 | tifu | TIFU by handing out Haribo Sugar free Gummy bears | Today i really, really fucked up. My mates and I saw LA Beasts video where he ate a hole 5lb bag of that deamon-candy, and we figured out the most legendary prank ever pulled. Our school has a large common room. We made sure we were there earlier than anyone else and poured the whole bag into a bowl with a sign that said "Free Candy". Then we sat down and watched. More and more people came pouring in to the common room, and not a single one missed the delicious gummy bears. People munched like it was their last day on earth. After a while, everyone started acting strange. Some rushed to the bathroom and others stayed put but with a noticeable frown on their faces. Then it started. MASS - Panic. We never thought it would get this out of control. You could hear a smattering sound from the bathrooms, I swear I even heard someone crying. The ones queuing for the bathrooms were sweating and most of them ran elsewhere in search of a vacant toilet. A fat kid shat himself on his way out, and after that everyone left the common room, mostly screaming. I am shitting myself (not literally) because if i get busted my whole future is ruined. Oh god reddit, NEVER buy Haribo Sugar free gummy bears, they are spawns of satan. | A friend and me put a bowl with sugar free gummy bears in the common room, several kids shat themselves and mass panic broke out. |
t3_ht35f | running | First time posting in Runnit (Hiya!). Requesting Marathon training advice. | I've been running for a year. I run about 20-25 miles a week and my average mile is 8:30. My longest run is 5.5 miles. I stretch, eat well, and do cross training and work out before/after I run. I know that marathon training is Serious Business and I think I'm at a point where I need real advice, instead of winging it.
I'm constantly learning new things and forming new questions:
"There's a lottery? What % of a marathon is determined by lottery?"
"TOENAILS FALL OFF?"
"Why are people wearing what looks like tights, but only up to their knees? Do I need those?"
So, runnit, I'm looking for solid book/website advice or recommendations. I like to have as much information as possible before I undertake a project. I'm also very keen on your tips and advice / _things you wish someone had told you before you started training_ .
I know someone posted about marathon training last week, but that was mostly about food. I'm after sources of information/guides. | Running 20ish miles a week. Looking for good sources on marathon training so I don't hurt myself/can accomplish my goals. Also, please tell me things you wish you had known before you started training. |
t3_1davul | AskReddit | For the first time in my life, being a sarcastic jerk landed me a smoking hot married milf to cam whore for me... how does this work, and what to do if Im not interested? | So I have never been successful with the ladies and upon going back to school I met a smoking hot, unhappily married MILF... I never really complemented or hit on her, simply we just studied. During that time I never made a move, and for the most part acted like a sarcastic "funny" asshole to her.
Meanwhile she cant go 5 feet without some douchebag hitting on her, and telling her how good he would treat her... I have never done this our entire time we known each other.
Flash forward 1 month and now she does full on cam shows for me... I thought it was going to end at titty play, but to my surprise she went full spread knuckles deep for me. FUCKING AMAZING..
but... at the same time I really am not too interested in her... I would have enjoyed a tease and after seeing all she has to offer I am quickly loosing interest.
On the flip side, I recorded it (sssshhhh) and the next day I blew like 3 loads to it... and here she is again ready to go at it call me up and ready for a show. So here I am all floppy dick and she wants to play.
On serious note I think she may have depression issues, and is extremely unhappy with her marriage. | By ignoring hot milf, she ended up cam whoring for me, but I am not even really interested... |
t3_357qko | legaladvice | Question about certificate of trust & act independently clause. (multiple states) | In Maryland/USA
The bank wants a married couple with a living trust to sign a certificate of trust form. The "Trustees can Act Independently" box was pre-checked. This was in response to a request to fund both spouses retirement accounts from an account in the trust.
I've read this is normal to have the act independently clause to avoid issued with locations of trustees and getting everyone together to sign documents. However, this doesn't necessarily apply in this case - we live together.
Spouse has had conversations with the financial advisers without me. Our relationship has been a little shaky in recent months. Can this act independently clause be used to close the trust, disperse funds away from the trust, or remove the other trustee out of the trust without a that trustee's knowledge? | Can the "Act Independently" clause on a bank's "Certificate of Trust" be used to undermine a trustee prior to a relationship possibly ending? |
t3_1ccg7m | AskReddit | Have you ever done something you wouldn't normally do or altered your behavior only because you were afraid you'd appear racist? | Many years ago I worked at a concert amphitheater in a mid-west rural area. Staff would hang out and "post tailgate" after the show until traffic died down. At the end of the night, two guys said they needed a ride home. I'm a swf and these are two black men who nobody knew, working their first day (I know the facility doesn't do background checks and this is pre-cell phone.) They needed a ride to the city where I lived, about a 20 min drive. Now I would normally NEVER drive strangers anywhere (dad's car, dad's rules) much less two men, regardless of race. But nobody else was going "in that direction" and they were stuck. I didn't want them to think it was a race-issue so I drove them home. | Scared White Girl (their observation) gives a ride to two men she doesn't know ONLY because they're black.* |
t3_ewr1m | AskReddit | GF's battery died in her '98 Honda CRV, got it tested/recharged, and now only the brake lights will turn on - HELP! | First, no idea if there is an automotive question subreddit, but I did a bit of searching and didn't find one. If there is let me know and I'll repost this there.
So here's the story: 2 days ago, it was really cold, and my GF's car wouldn't start. We try to jump it with my car, nothing. Wont turn over at all, no front lights/brake lights/any lights at all. Locks wouldn't work, windows, nothing. Basically there was absolutely no power going to my GF's car, even with my jumper cables (correctly) connected, and my car running. I thought this was weird, but I dont know much about cars so I brushed it off.
So we take the battery to Autozone, they test it out and it's fine, just completely dead. They charge it for an hour and give it back saying it should be back to 100%. Go home, put it in, and now ONLY the brake lights work. Double check I put it in right, that it's tight, all that - it's perfect. But for some reason only the brake lights will turn on. Had my GF hold her foot down to see if they would flicker or anything, but they were solid.
Fast forward to today: we thought it was some sort of anti-theft feature (her Dad as well as one of our friends though it could be this), but after multiple phone calls to mechanics, Honda's CS hotline, and my local Honda dealership, I'm now sure it is not that. Turns out only '04 and later models had any sort of anti theft that would act like that.
At this point we have no idea what
So my question: what the *fuck* could the problem be? My last guess is the fuses, but I'm not at home where the car is now so I cant check. Could blown fuses cause something like this?
Please, if you have any idea what this could be let us now! She and I both work, and in different towns, so we really need this fixed soon! | GF's car wouldn't start, battery was dead, recharged it, replaced it, and now ONLY the brake lights work, nothing else. HELP! |
t3_1isj5u | relationships | I [25F] keep having nightmares about my husband [29M] after four years together. | My husband and I have been married about two and a half years and together for four. We have a small child together and everything is hunky dory. Truly, we do not have any issues I can think of. We get along famously, our sex life is great, we're best friends, etc.
So when I started having nightmares about him cheating on me I became really confused. Last night marked the third night in a row this has happened. What gives?
Now, he did just get deployed to Afghanistan so I'm sure it has something to do with that. We have been apart for three months before but never like this (he will be gone up to a year and he's in a war zone).
Regardless of the reason I just want these nightmares to stop. I wake up physically ill and for a few minutes I'm mad at him which is just insane. We have talked regularly since he has been deployed (Skype and Facebook) and have not fought since I can remember so I really have no idea why this is going on.
Also, I am not a jealous person and neither is he. I mean we're both human but we don't freak out about the opposite sex. We're not perfect but we have an extremely solid relationship. I would NEVER suspect him of cheating so these nightmares are out of left field. Is there any way to make these nightmares stop? They're extremely unsettling. I wake up emotionally drained and feel off for most of the next day.
How do you stop bad dreams? | I am having nightmares about my husband cheating despite being in an extremely solid relationship. What gives, and how do I stop this? |
t3_4bxps8 | relationships | My [29F] female friend verbally attacks me [31M] in front of my friends when I have chosen to not marry or have children? | To keep story short, I've made some good friends (3M including me + 2F) about my age. We are very open to each other and share a lot of personal stories about our lives. Basically we trust each other a lot and look out for one another if in need. Now, one of my female friend was curious about our relationship status, 2 of the males were single until it was my turn. I told them all that I will not marry or have children simply because I don't want to pass down flawed traits and deal with children who have disabilities. I explained to them that the personal experience was very painful but I worked hard to establish my standing in society today. I have also explained to them that it will be financially and emotionally expensive so its better if I stay single for my on sanity (and for others). Well, one of the female friends got upset to hear this and says I am a cold-hearted selfish prick who doesn't want to take up responsibility of being a father. I said, no that was not the reason and immediately questioned her issue with my choice. She immediately flips it on me and says some other nasty things about me (like about how I was still a little boy in a grown man's body, thats one example - there were more I can't remember), which rather ended up humiliating me in front of my friends. They kindly told her that she was wrong and I had the right to make my own choice. But all she does is storms off and calls me names. I've never felt so low in my life (in front of others), its a choice I made for myself and I don't know why she's verbally attacking me? | I chose to live a marriage/child-free life, I get verbally attacked by my female friend for my choice. Why? What did I do wrong? |
t3_238llf | relationships | I (33/m) was going to spend the weekend with my GF (30/f single mom) of 6 months (on and off over the years) and she told me she's going off the pill and wants the weekend alone. | Dated this girl on and off for about a decade or so. Dated in college for a few months then we dated about 5 years ago after her son was born.
The first time back together (with the son) was great. She got on birth control and started acting somewhat distant. She suggested we went on a break and we didnt get back together.
This time around, even better than ever. She started on the pill again and it's all beginning again.
I was planning on hanging out with them for the weekend. I get a call from her that she wants to get off the pill because it is making her feel distant/bad/no sex drive/etc.
I brought up that I've seen this before with her and asked if she is going to want a break or has been thinking about it. She says that she thinks the pill is making her this way and that she wants to stay together and NOT take a break.
We talked for a bit. I asked her how long she has felt this way, if there was anything I could do, if there was anything I did, if there was anything she did, etc etc. She said I'm wonderful and that it's just the pill.
I told her that I'm happy she is taking proactive steps to maintain our love for each other and that I will support her in any way she needs. Totally bummed I dont get to spend time with this this weekend (such a sour-puss).
Is this normal for women to feel this way? Is this going to lead to another 'break'? | dated a girl years ago, she went on the pill then, she didnt like. We took a break and didnt get together again until 6 months ago. She's getting off the pill again bc she feels distant again. What do? |
t3_3v672d | Advice | Need advice on how to handle auto insurance claim | I had to file my first insurance claim earlier this week. I huge econoline van backed into my car while it was parked in a lot outside of my house. I'm worried about the procedure and what happens if the car is determined a total loss.
At this point, the other party has accepted full responsibility and I am now charged with finding a body shop to get a quote and photos sent to the responsible insurance company. I'm a bit overwhelmed, so I'll try to keep the information and my questions as concise as possible.
My car: 1999 Nissan Altima GXE, good condition, 132K miles
Damage: Bumper and trunk smashed in and trunk lid displaced, tail light popped out a bit, but quarter panel may be okay (I'll include photos in the comments)
Responsible insurance: Guide One
Company to asses value of car: Mitchell (International?)
State: Missouri (80% of car total = total loss)
Most people seem to think that the damage should be within the 80% limit, but I'm worried the insurance company may try to low ball the value of my car. If they do decide to total my car, my main question is will they allow me to retain the vehicle? It still runs and if it is totaled out, I have doubts that they'll give me enough money to replace it with something as reliable as this car has been.
If I have to forfeit the car to receive the settlement, what should I do from that point forward? | My 16 yo car received extensive damage to the rear end. If it's totaled, will I be allowed to retain the car as it still runs and is my only source of transportation? |
t3_1p1mp0 | relationships | I'm [18M] and unsure what do to. My [18F] gf has self esteem problems. | Well my GF and I have been going out for about 7 months. Around 3 months in I noticed she has some self esteem problems. I didn't think much of it at the time but now it's starting to bother me.
A few times a week she will bring up the fact that shes is fat. Mind you, she is no where near fat and I've tried to tell her this but she just refuses to believe me. In addition to that, almost any compliment I give is replied to with "thats debatable" or "yeah right". I'm not like showering her in compliments or anything but I mean what I say. She is no where near as ugly, fat, or whatever as she thinks she is.
I almost think she thinks shes useless to be honest. She hates on herself because she thinks she won't like her major for college and says shes better off just dropping out and just doing nothing for her life.
Now I'm a pretty tolerant person, but I feel like anything I say anymore in regards to her self worth is just useless. This is my first serious relationship as it is hers and I just want her to feel better about herself. Right now I'm almost to the point where I want to get angry and go on the offensive, but I know it won't help. Nor is it the right way to go about it.
I really really really do like her but if this is annoying me now, what is it going to be like in another 7 months? I'm not exactly experienced with relationships so I don't know what to do. Any advice on how I can make her feel better about herself or deal with it if that's not something I can do? | GF has self esteem problems and it's starting to bother me. I'd like a way to either deal with it or find a way to help her out. |
t3_39yymb | relationships | My [20 F] ex [23 M] recently informed me that he is moving into my apartment complex. | I dated my ex, we'll call him Calvin, about a year ago for less than two months. He treated me pretty badly and we had nothing in common except for sex, so we broke up and decided to remain friends with benefits.
We were fwb on and off until February, but I kept thinking about how badly he treated me during our relationship, and decided I didn't want to sleep with him anymore, so I broke things off without giving a reason. The fwb situation ended on friendly terms - the basic sentiment was "thanks for all the great sex, see you around, have a good life!" but I pretty much hadn't talked to Calvin since then.
Now, I have a boyfriend who we'll call John, who I've been dating basically since I broke things off with Calvin. But even if John didn't exist I would definitely not want to get involved with Calvin again.
A couple days ago I texted Calvin just because I was wondering how he was doing. We had a short conversation about our plans for the summer and, then he casually mentioned that he'll be moving into my apartment complex soon. I do not feel comfortable with this at all. Although Calvin and I are on friendly terms, I don't think that makes it appropriate for him to become my neighbor, without at least asking me first. And the thought of Calvin and John interacting with each other makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
I can't just tell Calvin he can't move in - these are nice apartments so I understand why someone would want to live here. But I'm dreading the uncomfortable run-ins and interactions that will probably happen in the future. I feel like my privacy has been violated in some way.
Am I right in thinking that Calvin is stepping across boundries by moving here? Is there anything I can do to make this situation less awkward and uncomfortable for me? Should I talk to Calvin about it? What should I tell John? | My ex (though we were fwb longer than we were dating) is moving into my apartment complex soon. Although we are on friendly terms I am not comfortable with this. What would be the best way to handle this situation? |
t3_1c3ci0 | AskReddit | My company looks like it's going to get bought or acquired, and I'm probably going to lose my job. Any tips on preparing/finding something else before I get shitcanned? | Hi reddit,
I'll make this brief. I've been working for a company that has already had lay offs across all levels already, lots of admin staff and senior staff have been let go over the past few months. We're also monitoring sales performance daily, with a focus on monthly instead of quarterly or annually.
We've been asked to work harder than ever, for less money (bonuses) in an effort I assume to make us more lucrative as an acquisition or merger option. The problem that leaves me is that I just bought a home, and I don't know when in the near future this will happen but it seems that I have 6 months, tops.
While I have been a solid contributor, made bonus and had a strong performance review, I don't have many irons in the fire. I don't know who's hiring or where I'd work or if anyone would want me. I'd hate to be out of a job because having just bought a home, I'll be royally screwed. Any redditors out there able to make a transition? | all signs point to either a massive sell off, acquisition or merger and my job is at huge risk. Any advice on making a transition away so it doesn't put me out on my ass with nothing and a huge mortgage? |
t3_1hsv8j | GetMotivated | So, I'm having a hard time staying motivated right now, partially due to lonliness | I'm 21 years old, I live alone, and my girlfriend broke up with me not a month ago, since we were to different. The thing is, I still really liked her, and it kinda sent me into a tailspin. It's definitely not good because I'm taking summer school right now. I'm still doing okay, and I'm not sad about her nearly as much as I was, but right now I have no motivation to study and improve myself. I feel seriously lonely...
I've tried reconnecting with people that I haven't seen since high school, and I've been messaging a bunch of people on facebook otherwise to see who would be friendly toward me. The problem is, really all I want to do is just talk with someone or cuddle with someone. I can force myself to do some work, but it's hardly consistent.
Whenever I try to get work done, or read, or something like that, I have this nagging itch that I could be on Facebook, or okcupid, or going out and trying to meet new people. It's really just draining all of my motivation to do anything. I'm lonely and I don't know how to deal with it.
Right now, what I need to do is study for summer school (which ends in a week), and learn a good amount of the dewey decimal system for a potential library job. On a consistent basis, I have some books to read, I need to practice piano, and I need to learn some more coding languages. I just can't find motivation | Girlfriend broke up with me not too long ago, and now I'm sad and unmotivated. I have things I need to do, but I don't know how to break out of this |
t3_yh04w | AskReddit | My dog broke my friend's girlfriend's ipad screen while they were at my house. How should the situation be handled? | Last night, my friend and his girlfriend were over to watch a movie. His girlfriend's ipad was on the coffee table, and my friend had set his glass of Coke next to it.
Before anyone could react to stop him, my dog ran over and jumped on the couch. In doing so, he either bumped the table or the glass, resulting the glass falling on the ipad. The glass shattered the ipad screen fairly significantly.
Let me preface the rest by saying I basically have no money at the moment and I live in my mom's basement. My friend's girlfriend told me not to worry about the broken ipad because she would get a new one. I feel that I should cover the costs of repair or replacement.
I told my mom what the situation was, and did not ask for a single red cent from her, but she got really mad at me and told me that if I pay for the ipad, she will want full discretion of who comes to her house and what they bring inside. (Note: She covers 99% of my expenses right now. I am working an internship right now that will lead to me making $1,000 in another month or so. So, if I pay out of the $1,000, it'll more or less eventually amount to money out of her pocket.)
I don't really care if I can't have anyone over because I don't care much for having company anyway, so there's no need to discuss that aspect of this situation.
My mom has inquired with her home insurer as to whether they will cover the cost of replacing the ipad.
My question, after all that, is whether you all think I should pay for the ipad my dog broke? | Friend's girlfriend brings ipad to my home. My dog knocks over glass which shatters ipad's glass screen. Girlfriend tells me not to worry about it, but I feel obligated to pay. Should I pay? |
t3_4gwy5r | relationships | GF [23] of 2 years broke up with me today. No idea what to do? | My girlfriend and I met in the most amazing way 2 years ago, in french class. We caught each others eyes across the classroom, and during our first date when i asked her out we talked non-stop for close to 12 hours, before I walked her home. We fell crazily in love within the first month and got together. Our interests and thought patterns and everything were so similar; she made me believe in soulmates.
However, I had to travel halfway across the globe, to the UK, for my university. The undergraduate course is 3 years long, and we decided (against our better judgment) to try and commit to a long-distance relationship. 1.5 years have passed, and it turns out she got a post-graduate course in my town so we can spend the last year together (so theres only .5 years left). However, since day 1 of this long-distance relationship, our relationship has gone slowly and surely downhill. We both have massive insecurity issues and have become ridiculously dependent on each other, to the point where we became our only friends. It was ironically lonely, the two of us so far away from each other but still deeply in love.
Today, after 1.5 years of long-distance, she told me that she couldn't do it anymore. I guess our relationship had gotten to the point where we both stopped confiding in each other our problems, for fear that we would unduly impose on the other, and we didn't have much time for each other being so busy with our studies and the time difference.
We still love each other, but the distance just isn't working out. I don't even know why Im really writing - whether I'm venting or really asking a question. I guess we want to salvage this relationship before it gets to a point where we can no longer be friends. We still want to be in each other's lives, and I guess we're open (and I'm hopeful) about the possibility of starting afresh a healthy relationship when she comes over in less than half a year (4 months to be exact).
Should I be hopeful? Should I start dating again? I want to be with her. What do I do? | LDR GF of 2 years broke up with me today, but we still love each other. She's coming over in half a year, should I wait? |
t3_2fow97 | tifu | TIFU by eating too many jalapenos | So this actually happened a few weeks ago, but you know about TIFU.
I went to the movies with my brother and enjoyed some delicious popcorn and, as I always do, gorged myself with containers of jalapenos until I had such terrible stomach pains that I couldn't eat anymore.
After the movie, I went over to his house to pick up some stuff and as I left, I grabbed a container of Jello's Chocolate Pudding and began to eat it. On the way home, disaster struck.
My stomach churned in a way that I had never felt before and it was like the pitchfork of Lucifer himself stabbed me in the stomach. In horror, I remembered my brother's comment about his power going out for a few hours and his food being unrefrigerated during that time.
I ran immediately to the porcelain throne and I will never forget the instant and searing pain as I shat undigested jalapenos. | Ate too many jalapenos and bad pudding in a very short amount of time; shat pure, unfiltered jalapenos. |
t3_3144pv | jobs | Interviewed and got an offer for my supervisor's job. Am I out of line to ask for more money? | Hey job seekers and job havers!
I posted here a few weeks ago about wanting to apply for my supervisor's job because he was leaving. I did and I interviewed today and was given the job! Woohoo!
In my current position (keep in mind this is a network of non-profit clinics in Nashville, TN) I make $16.93/hour. I have a BSW (undergrad social work degree) and am bilingual. Without overtime, I make $34k before taxes, but with overtime I made $40k in 2014.
They offered me the supervisor position at a salary of $42k. I'm currently in school for my MSW (Masters in social work) and while I lack some supervisory experience, I'd like to counter with $48k. My supervisor was making slightly more than $50k so I feel like $48k is okay. Does that sound unreasonable considering I was given essentially a $3.84/hr raise? | Can I ask for more money moving into a supervisory role after being given a ~23% raise, but am moving to salary? |
t3_4vozhf | relationships | I [16 M] want to break up with my Girlfriend[16 F] 2ish weeks, but I worry we won't be friends after | So I don't have many friends, and my girlfriend used to be one of my bestfriends. We went to the movies, I thought it was just as friends but she thought it was more, and now we're in a relationship.
Now I am completely regretting this whole thing. She's beautiful and an amazing girlfriend, but I don't think I truly want a girlfriend. Pretty much every single one of my relationships have ended this way, so it was just stupid of me to jump into another one. We don't have /that/ much in common, and to be honest, our personalities don't match that well. I think we'd be better off as friends.
My problem is that I want to end it, but I also want to stay GREAT friends. I have dated my friends before, and after the break up we never go back to the way it was before. ( which also why I don't have many friends ).
Does anyone have any advice for breakups, but remaining good friends after? It'd be so much appreciated. Thanks <3 | I accidentally started dating a very good friend, but I want to end it and go back to when we were just friends. |
t3_49d9v5 | relationships | My relationship[28 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] is over, because I confronted her about some of her problems. | My ex-girlfriend has a depression problem and I think from that she always wants attention. She would always cry whenever anyone said something, and our relationship of 3 years is over because I said something like "you shouldn't take things so personally" which broke into "I knew you were never on my side" which led to her revealing that she had never loved me and was using me as a bridge to fuck my best friend. I'm getting angry typing this right now. She revealed that she had indeed cheated on me with my best friend [28 M]and then taunted me for an hour. I shouted some stuff at her and pointed out all of her flaws and about how much of a bitch she was. She broke down and before I could stop her, went into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and cut herself multiple times. We yelled about how insane she was for another hour, then she left. I called later and told her the relationship was over. I feel very vulnerable and I don't know who to trust... what should I do? | girlfriend of 3 years went insane when I said she might be overreacting, cut herself in front of me, revealed she was cheating on me with my best friend... |
t3_23agr1 | relationships | Met a great guy (23M), but I'm (22F) not attracted to him. | So I met this guy "Paul" on a dating app. We've hung out and he's very nice and we seem to click for the most part, but the more I hang out with him the more I just want to friendzone him. I recently got out of a long term relationship (6 years) so I'm not sure if I'm just not ready to move on from my ex or if I don't like Paul that way.
Paul just might not be my type. He's shorter than me, which is a change. He's a bigger guy, and I don't mind a bit of a belly, but he could stand to lose a few pounds. But we enjoy the same things, and I enjoy being able to talk to him about current issues. He's smart, and I can appreciate that. Plus he's a college educated man with a good job.
My ex "Tom" (25M) and I broke up about 9 months ago, and there's a good chance there's some lingering feelings and ideas clouding my thoughts. He recently moved back into town and we have started hanging out again. Relatively harmless stuff. He's charismatic and handsome, with a good job too, but more street smart than book smart. Tom was also a lot more aggressive and sexual than Paul.
I'm not sure how Tom feels about me romantically. We don't really talk about the past, but we have acknowledged that we are important to each other, at least as friends. I know how Paul feels about me, but he doesn't get my heart racing. They seem like opposites, but they have very similar traits. I'm not sure if I should date Paul risking it being just a rebound relationship or one with no spark, if I should maybe wait for Tom (which might be pointless), or keep trying to find someone who I fall for immediately. There are a lot of fish in the sea, apparently. What does reddit think? | Should I take a chance on a relationship I'm not fully invested in, should I try to rekindle an old flame, or should I keep my options open? |
t3_3xws9s | tifu | TIFU being in a hurry. | TIFU by being in a hurry. My fuck up occurred today, and being late is the story of my life. I have two little girls that always have some type of drama that adds to my tardiness.
My friend offered to watch my girls for a few days this week because she is taking vacation time and she is glutton for punishment. My kids typically attend day care, and I thought it was only fair if I drove them to her house since she is watching them for free.
I have been extra forgetful lately, and I always have a hard time differentiating her house from the others in her subdivision. I pulled up into her driveway as she called my phone. I let her know I was running late as usual and had just arrived. She offered to open her garage, but I declined because I am a horrible driver. She asked me not to ring the doorbell because her dogs and other family members were asleep. I sat there for a moment waiting for her to come outside, but when she didn't I proceeded to get my kids out the car and walk up to the house. I checked the door knob to see if it was unlocked so we could go inside. I turned the handle and ushered the kids in so that I could be on my way. I stood there for a minute whispering "hello," and greeted her cat. I can't ever remember that stupid cat's name. Wait......I thought her cat was black. I don't remember her washing machine being out of the open either. That's when I realized I was in the wrong damn house. I start shouting in a whisper "get in the car!" but the girls become upset because they think I am not going to let them stay with my friend.
I finally drag them back to the car, jump in panicked, and put my car quickly into reverse. Did I mention I'm a bad driver? In my panic, I didn't look behind me because I was trying to avoid getting myself and my children murdered. Yep, I backed into a car parked on the side of the street. | In my haste this morning, I almost dropped my children off at the wrong person's house. Then, I backed into someone's car trying to leave. |
t3_2f41dr | relationships | Me [22M] virgin, having embarrassing issues. | So I recently met a really awesome women (also 22, we'll call her Becca). We were going on a date, and after we were going to introduce me to her friends and all go drinking together. Well everything is good, we went drinking, then me and Becca went home. Well one thing led to another and soon we're making out on her bad, with her dress scrunched around her waist. Anyways as we're making out, I realize, I'm not getting a boner. Ok no big deal, I had a lot of alcohol, I got some Whiskey dick. She says it's ok, but I think she thought I was not attracted to her (which is not true. I think she was quite sexy). Well no problem, I thought, I always wake up with morning wood. But it was hard to sleep (got maybe like 2-3 hours straight sleep. first time sleeping in a bed with a women and was frustrated about what happened). Come morning we try again, and I STILL can't get a boner. Now we both know I'm not drunk, and the alcohol is out of my system. (I have made out with girls and gotten a boner just from that too). So I feel even worse! I don't want her to think I'm not attracted to her. So I reveal to her that I'm a virgin and nervous. She was shocked (college graduate, good looking, in the military. She honestly thought i was lying). I thought I had a healthy sex drive (sometimes i would masturbate like 5 times a day through various means. Not all of them were visual). But after last night and this morning not so sure now. What advice can I get? Honestly this was embarrassing, but even more so I don't want her to think I was not attracted to her! Last time I made out sober with a girl, my dick was hard and straining in my pants, with precum staining my pants. Whats the difference this time? Should I quit watching porn? Blue balls myself well before I see her? Jump straight to Viagra/other male enhancement drugs?
I really like her and want to take her out again, but I don't want this to happen again. | Thought I had whiskey dick, now i know it wasn't. Couldn't get a boner just from foreplay, even though I had before. Thought I had a healthy sex drive, not so sure anymore. Help please? |
t3_1kpt23 | relationships | Me[18M] and my girlfriend [18] of 3 months (great friends for a year before that) are having some trouble figuring out what to do when she leaves for college | So my girlfriend is a year past me in education and she'll be moving away to college at the end of this week while I get ready to start my senior year. We've been struggling with what to do with our relationship while she's away.
My thoughts on the matter are super conflicted as are hers. When I go to college I don't want to be in a relationship so I wouldn't want to wish that upon someone else. She also doesn't want to be in a relationship but only because she hears from everyone that she shouldn't be. She also doesn't want to try long distance which I totally agree with. But the thing is, we both really like each other.
There is pretty much nothing wrong with our relationship. It's super easy to talk to her and we lead similarly busy lives so our schedules line up nicely and the sex, well, can't complain :D So the thing that's weird about all of this is that we're breaking up for what feels like no reason.
We've agreed that when she comes home for breaks and things we'll get together and hook up, but that just seems weird to me. For one, that's built on the stipulation that she doesn't meet someone and neither do I. Additionally, that seems like we're doing a long distance thing but just agree to not technically be in anything while she's away. I don't know how I feel about that.
A part of me wants to just cut it off completely, but like I said, we still really like each other. From my end, the thing I want for her most is to go to college, meet some awesome people, have the time of her life, and maybe even hook up with other people. The idea of her being with other people really doesn't bother me because when I go to college that is most certainly on my agenda and I really feel like it's unfair to impose restrictions that you wouldn't want on yourself.
But at the end of the day I just don't know if I should be breaking it off or keeping it somewhat alive and rolling with it until it dies out from natural causes. | My girlfriend and I are breaking up because she is going to college but we both really like each other. She wants to do a pseudo long distance thing. Should I or should I break it off? |
t3_15bjmw | relationships | 24/f 25/m I feel neglected by boyfriend physically and emotionally. What can I do to help our suffering relationship? | We have been together for almost 2 years, friends for a year before that. I am 24/f he is 25/m. We have both been dealing with a lot of life stress lately, school, work, being young and trying to get out lives together, holidays, ect.
We have been getting into fights a lot lately. I usually get upset over stupid little things or misunderstand him. Things seem to get blown out of proportion really fast between us and before you know it it's a huge fight. Last night for example, we were making out and i saw him scrolling through cable channels while kissing. It turned into a huge fight.
Tonight he told me he wanted space, I sort of panicked and assumed the worst case. I ended up calling him. My intentions were good but he was angry that I was communicating with him even though he told me he wanted space tonight. He told me I could go over but he wanted to watch a movie and they he didn't want to talk, kiss, or have sex. I love him so much and comments like these really sting.
Lately I have felt physically and emotionally neglected. Of course I understand that he wouldn't want to be around someone who is upset with him. I had a very poor father figure and the other males in my life have been pretty horrible. I have a really hard time understanding what sorts of things are normal male behavior and what isn't. I don't want to get upset over little things but I also don't want to feel ignored physically and emotionally.
I want to stop the downward spiraling fights for good and have a healthy loving relationship. Please help me understand what sort of behavior is normal for him, and how I can be confident that he is not neglecting me. | I feel neglected by boyfriend physically and emotionally. What can I do to help our suffering relationship? 24/f 25/m together for 2 years. |
t3_28lp0h | relationships | My So likes things his way but I grew up doing things differently..need advice..feeling like its a never ending cycle..help | My SO (34m) and I (30f) have been together for a year and half, both been married before and this is both our first long term relationship since our divorces and we have been living together for a year. Now he likes things to be done a certain way like when you put a dish in the sink wash it..ok understandable but somethings are so insignificant that I don't see the point in doing it his way..like tonight I wiped the stove off with the dishrag but he doesn't like that and would rather me use a different dishrag to wipe off the counters off with.. I just don't understand it..he gets mad that I don't do something his way but we were raised differently and I should be able to do stuff my way too.. so my question is how can I talk to him about things types of things without getting into a fight. | I feel like my boyfriend is a contol freak about the smallest things and I need advice on how to talk to him about it. |
t3_1bz371 | relationships | [M15] and I [F16] have been dating clandestinely dating the past couple months and the question "how to handle guardians" finally shows itself, has anyone else dealt with this? | Basically me and him have been dating for the past couple months on the downlow, and only recently kind of came out to our mutual group of friends as a couple, but the problem arises when we factor in parents to the equation. I've generally presented myself as an asexual up until this point in my life and so maybe there's been some amount of free agency in interacting with the opposite sex, but the worry is that if they openly find out then we might not get that same leniency as before, or that same freedom in interacting with one another.
I mean when someone spends an excessive amount of time with another person, I'm not going to pretend that my parental units are clueless or anything, but it's just a problem showing itself rather obviously. Just looking to deal with the suspicions making themselves self evident.
Sorry about the awkward phrasing, it's exceedingly late at the moment and I'm not exactly completely comfortable asking for advice in such matters. | How do you explain to parents that "oh by the way we've been dating the past 2+ months" without losing some form of "privileges"? |
t3_v4q4a | AskReddit | I want to carve a city into a mountain. What do you think? Interested? | So I was having a discussion with friends one day, about how I'll never really be satisfied with my life until I have achieved something that would satisfy me as a child. Naturally my examples were from my childhood: sail a tallship around the world, be an astronaut, and so on. But then I had an idea (which may or may not have been connected to my recent Dwarf Fortress binge): I want to carve a city into a mountainside. Or a cliff. Or just some rock outcropping--the specifics don't particularly matter. I want to be involved in the creation of a town or city carved from the living rock.
Obviously this isn't a practical undertaking--especially since I'm not obscenely wealthy--but let's examine it as an idea. Obviously it's not something I could do alone, so I'd need help--how much help (and what kind of help) depends on the size and nature of the thing. If it were to be more tunnel-based, fully recessed into the rock, then we have to consider the safety of the tunnels and prevention of cave-ins. If it were instead more of an on-the-side-of-the-mountain deal (think the cave houses at Sacromonte in Granada, Spain, but hopefully a bit more grand and planned out), it would be easier to make sure it was safe.
Let's talk costs. First, there's the land--this would have to be something suitable for this purpose (i.e., with a cliff face or mountain). Then, there's labor (assuming this thing is done by hand, because I have no idea how to figure expense for doing it with modern technology); presumably wages wouldn't have to be much above local minimum, given that it's manual labor. Ideally, it could be done by volunteers who think the project is cool (maybe in return for property if/when it gets finished--conversion from hours of labor to square feet, by some metric), in which case you eliminate the direct cost of labor. There's tools; and then if people are camping out at the site while working on it, there's supplies then (maybe the best way to go with that is to ask people to bring their own). | I want to carve a town/city/multi-family living complex into a mountain/cliff/hunk of rock. What do you think? |
t3_1n7pfe | GetMotivated | Any volunteers?! | Ok, so I have in interesting request for you guys.
First of all, I love this sub. It has helped me more times than I can count by giving me that push of motivation I needed. Everyone here is very uplifting and positive!
Basically, I'm building a website with the central purpose of helping people get motivated. I know there are so many websites and blogs about motivation, but I love the subject and want to help out others in there quest for motivation as well.
The focus that I have built up so far is helping people who feel like they are in a rut in some area of their life, or maybe just in general. I have been there before and felt like there was nothing I could do to get myself of the couch or out of bed. Life just seemed so overwhelming and when you are in this state, it's hard to propel yourself out. So what I want to do is give others the push that might help them to get back on track and get their focused again.
I've read so many books and articles on the subject that have helped me in my own life and I've noticed that when I talk to others who may be feeling a little laggy, I get really excited and feel passionate about helping them. A lot of my friends started coming to me for advice on motivation which gave me the idea of cultivating this new found skill.
So here is my request for anyone: If there is an area of your life that you feel you are just not motivated in or maybe you would just like a little motivation in general, write up a description of your situation and be as descriptive as possible. Send it to me in a pm and I will work out an action plan for you to the best of my ability! That is all!
I will do my best to help everyone I can. And thank you in advance to anyone who is willing to help me out! You guys are great :) | If you'd like to pm me a description of a situation where you feel unmotivated, I will, to the best of my ability, create a motivating push in the right direction for you :) |
t3_53x521 | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | Me 45 M with my 40 F ex-gf of 4 yrs.
I actually cared about her. I'll admit that I was hooked. Probably got in too deep. Unfortunately, I discovered over time that for all of her other attractive qualities, she was actually an unabashedly bipolar alcoholic with an inability to follow through on most things... among other issues (as if that weren't enough). I don't really know if that's normal or not because so far in my life, most women have been like that. Eventually led to a dead bedroom, which for me was a deal breaker. So things ended as they clearly and inevitably would (and should), as such a situation would be untenable. Fast forward 6 months with very little contact (except one day when she came to get her stuff). No biggie, I'm doing fine, moving on. I'm hitting the gym though and doing my own thing, getting on with my life and trying to better my own situation.
Anyway out of the blue she texts and calls these past couple of days. Turns out she's lost her job, and hitting the bottle. Now she's reaching out and calling for help.
I feel like there are so many red flags that the writing is on the wall, I feel like I need to just keep on doing what I'm doing and not pay any attention to her.
I might wish I hadn't emotionally invested in her, but I did.
She's texting me right from the bar (likely drunk) asking for help. She likely needs help, but I'm pretty sure I'm the wrong person to help her. So I'm currently ignoring her text.
Well I'm not sure what my question is but I'd appreciate any perspective on this issue. | ex gf is a mess, I'm moving on. Six months later she begs for help and I'm not sure how to handle it. |
t3_2dkjrm | self | I think Madoka Magica was terrible from an unbiased standpoint. | My problem with Madoka is that it failed in everything it tried to be. It tried to Evangelion, which was great, but it failed because there wasn't enough action. No, that's not true. I dislike it because it comes off as pretentious. Every character is a perfect Mary Sue who gets fucked unjustly, and the series falls into every trope it attempts to avoid.
There's too much negative space in the plot. There was a combined full episode of tense dialogue across the whole show. I felt myself getting angry at Kaname, the main character, for all the wrong reasons. You were supposed to hate Shinji because he was the worst parts of you. You hate Kaname because she's the generic white bitch in a horror movie. It feels like there are a lot of arguing plots going on. The main threat is the Unteralterbacht, or maybe it's Coobie, or maybe it's Homura? None of these are resolved in the end. Kaname supposedly saves the day in the end, except that she very obviously fucks everyone over in the end just as bad as they had been before. If the plot of the movie is about Homura fixing everything and killing Madoka, then that is resolution.
Madoka spends so much time foreshadowing that you already know how it ends by episode 4. That doesn't build tension. You keep expecting a plot twist but nothing happens. It's just the same magical girl show you've seen before, but with a black coat of paint. There's not enough action considering the amount of tense dialogue, and I feel like Kaname is making everyone say the same thing over and over again.
The only subplots that engaged me were Homura' and Sayakka's. Kyouko was very typical, and the teacher wasn't interesting. Also Mami's arc anyone should have seen a mile away. | Evangelion and Sailor Moon both did everything Madoka wanted to do at least 20 years earlier, without any sort of ironic twist. I think a lot of people praise it because the characters are cute. |
t3_2xatrr | relationships | Me [28/F] with my FWB [25/M] 9 months, Had "The Talk" last night | Met this guy around the middle of last summer, and basically started hooking up immediately, and just decided to keep it "no strings attached" for now. Best sex I've ever had in my life, we get along really well, and it's just all feeling good to me.
I had some pretty serious family issues that kept me busy for the last 2 weeks, and he was starting his new semester, so things kind of faded off for awhile. But he texted me yesterday and asked if we could hang out, cause we "had to talk." So he comes over, we have a sexy session (or 5) and then we go out to dinner.
He wants to know where all this is heading. I like him a lot, and I enjoy spending time with him. But there's some things that we just don't have in common. His career aspirations don't fit into my lifestyle, our family backgrounds are very different, he's very conservative and I'm not really interested in politics, and he's not the greatest at communicating when something is bothering him. I definitely am interested in him, but I've just never experienced anyone who's so different from me, that I just can't get enough of. | Want to move from FWB to a relationship, we're just very different. Is it possible to find ways to make our differences work for us? |
t3_2o55mw | relationships | [Non-Romantic] Me(24M) and friends(24) wife(22) don't get along | I recently lost a close family member as did my good friend. We had
been communicating over the phone for months and decided it would
be nice to move in and support each other. I've moved across the
country and have been living with my friend and his wife for about 2
months. I've been paying the rent and cleaning up after myself like I
should. Currently, I'm unemployed and seeking work and they both
work fulltime. My friend likes his job, but his wife seems to be unhappy
with hers.
Last night, my friend cooked a large meal for his wife and another good
friend. The kitchen was a disaster, and the next morning she asked me
to clean the house. Now, I don't have many items as I've just moved
but they have a lot of shit. They are both very messy, too. Like, they
don't mind fruit flys or cat hair over everything...I will not tolerate
that shit and clean up any mess people leave behind. However, I don't
like touching others personal belonging because if they lose something
I end up getting blamed 90% of the time. One time I left my clothes in
the dryer and she took it all out and just dumped them on the floor
next to the dirty litter box :\
She flipped the fuck out today because I didn't clean up after them.
Yelling at screaming at her husband, saying "He's a lazy POS and
doesn't do anything. I clean up after everyone....Blah blah horseshit."
Then, she slammed all the doors and drove away only to return in a
few hours. Apparently, she tried to quit smoking today and didn't get
the promotion she wanted even though she was recently promoted. I
was afraid my friends wife and I wouldn't have a healthy relationship,
and it's happened. I really don't want to leave, but I think I have to.
Thanks a lot for reading this and any advice means a lot. | My friends wife hates me because I don't clean up their messes. They aren't the owners of the house and I pay my share of the rent, utilities, and internet. Afraid I must move out. |
t3_36px99 | relationships | X post from legal advice I [14 M] need help with my dad [50's M], threatening to call cops and cps on me!! | I'm 14 1/2 living in Ontario Canada with my mom, and I have a problem. In 2007 my parents divorced and I started living with my mom and my brother. Right now my mom does not work and we are on welfare.
I don't really visit my dad and just overall don't like him. He gets mad often at almost anything and its hard to talk to him because he almost always has to be right. Hes also somewhat scary when hes mad. Last year around December I started taking
online courses because of social anxiety and was missing a lot of school. My Mom and I didn't tell my dad this because I knew he would react very badly. Today he found out and came to our house, he yelled at us and cursed a lot saying how I'm living on the street already and how soon I'll be killing people. He said how this was illegal, that I should get/find a new dad, how he'll call
Child Protective Services, the police to get full custody, get me back into regular public school and make me move in with him. Tomorrow he said he's going to my old schools principle and getting my report card/records or whatever.
So what can we do now to avoid this. Does he have any rights to do what he said? Can he force me to move in with him and go back to public school? Me and my mom tried talking and reasoning with him but he just left and now I'm scared and don't know what to do.
I should also note that my mom is a immigrant and doesn't speak/understand English too well and we don't have any relatives in this country. My dad has also been abusive in the past to my mom. He used to yell a lot and throw things when he was mad and still living with us. he even hit my mom and chocked her when I was 7 months old. My brother remembers this but there was never a police report filed. Some paramedics did come to help her because she was having trouble breathing but they thought it was from stress. Any advice is welcome, thanks. | Scary dad found out I switched to online school, got really mad and wants to call cps, cops and everything else. Help! |
t3_2cuetr | offmychest | Stop making jokes about my skinny stature, it's not funny. | To start, this is honestly nothing against larger girls. I don't give a flying fadoodle what size you are honestly, as long as you're a wonderful person then honestly who cares.. but just kinda joking about someone's weight just isn't cool regardless of what it is.
* Just a bit of context of when this happens: *I work at a home improvement store, so it requires a LOT of heavy lifting from time to time (mainly large paint buckets that weigh over half of what I actually weigh myself)*
Just imagine the situation if I was actually "overweight" and you come up to me and say "Oh well you're big and lumpy aren't you!"
That would be pretty rude, right? But it's totally cool to say "Well aren't you a skin and bones little girl, I can barely see you!"
For some reason people feel like those kind of jokes are compliments of some sort.. but honestly it really bothers me.
It's become completely okay to say "I don't like girls who are all bones" but it's really rude and wrong to say "I don't like bigger girls" That is an argument that has been made tons of times.. but I just don't want to hear about my weight ever again!
I just never want to hear any of this:
* "If you would just eat more, you could probably lift that"
* "Oh honey, you're so small! Maybe you should get some help with that"
* "Is there a man that can help you, there is no way you can do this"
* "You're just so skinny! Can you see your own bones?"
And this is seriously my favorite (was said to me by a crush at work)
* " Sorry, I just don't like cuddling with skeletons, it just feels wrong" | I just hate hearing about how me being skinny is bad, and even the "compliments" suck and you should totally stop it. |
t3_33aft8 | relationships | My [23 M] girlfriend [21 F] of two years has within one week gone from loving me, to having no feelings towards me. Is this something that has happened to others? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over two years now. During that time we have had a few various fights that i'm sure all couples have. We have always been able to talk it out and come to terms and grow from it.
On Monday of last week we went to a baseball game with friends and had a wonderful time. I felt good, she felt good. We had a minor fight Wednesday and Thursday and come Friday when I wanted to talk about it, she says she hasn't had feelings for me for the past three/four days.
Now, i'm a realist, I know we are pretty young and that relationships come and go. But from what i've experianced people tend to take time when falling out of love. It is something that happens over weeks and months. We have had a very honest and open relationship throughout this time so I am inclined to believe her when she says this was all very sudden.
She says there have been moments where she felt something towards me. And I could definitely tell, once Thursday night and then for a few hours on Saturday. This is what is really throwing me for a loop.
If this is the end of our relationship, it will hurt but I know we will both be fine. I just want to know if this is a thing others have experienced and if it is just a passing event? | Girlfriend of two years has fallen out of love with me in less than a week. Is this something that others have experienced? |
t3_uh8hq | AskReddit | I'm being attacked by crows in front of my house, but I seem to be the only one. Can anyone offer an explanation? | Starting 2 days ago, I went outside to walk my dog and noticed 2 or 3 crows making a lot of noise up in the trees (at least I think they're crows). I didn't really think anything of it, but then as I'm walking down the street in my neighborhood they start swooping down on my head!
Now I understand that they probably made their nests up there and they're probably just being territorial, but it seems that they aren't attacking any of my neighbors when they walk by. Of course, this makes me look like a lunatic when I tell them that there are crows divebombing anyone who walks by and then nothing happens when they go past.
I asked one neighbor walking his dog if he had been attacked and he said no, so I asked him to watch from a distance while I walked into the street in front of my house, and sure enough, the crows started swooping down on my head again, unprovoked! They even follow me from tree to tree until I'm halfway down the street! I can't even walk out of the house to get into my car without them going nuts!
What the heck is going on!? For now I've resorted to going outside with an umbrella and hopefully this will stop when their young leave the nest, but why am I their only target!?
I live in South Florida and the birds are all black with bright whiteish-green eyes. | Black birds nesting in the tree in front of my house are divebombing me but not my neighbors and I sound like a crazy person unless I show them. |
t3_3ndfbb | tifu | TIFU by 'accidentally' encouraging a lad to cut off part of his dick... | I am a webcam model and I was being brutal with him. I made him cry. Originally he came to me because he didn't like his foreskin. He asked me to humiliate him and to talk about how he wanted to cut off his foreskin. He was on a webcam and I was watching him to as he was watching me talk and brutally humiliate him and his foreskin. Before I knew it he had scissors and he cut off the tip of his dick. I was screaming no but he did it anyway. Blood was everywhere the tip of his dick laid on his desk. I am so traumatized right now and I really f***** up in the thought it was a role play. I immediately closed out my room. If you're out there I am so sorry and I hope you sought medical attention. My day is really f***** up now. I don't know what to do with myself. How do I log back on after something like that? | I was paid today 5.8$ a min to watch someone brutally cut off their dick in a dick blood bath and I am traumatized because I thought it was a role play. |
t3_2cqsqb | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [22 F] 1 year, Found sexual illicit messages | Basically found some messages with her and another guy flirting, most of it is joking but there are parts where he ask about her blowing him and she accepts. He lives out of state and some messages asking when he will be around so they can hangout
I called her out on it she says sorry, all the normal apologies, she was stupid, and that it would never have happened and she wouldnt have gone through with it and it was just flirting
What do I do guys. Normally everyone comes to me for advice buy when it happens to me my brain shuts down | Found messages talking about having sex with guy who is out of state, she says it was flirting and she would never have gone through with it |
t3_4exhxw | relationships | I think my [21F] mum [56F] might be depressed | My father died 1.5 years ago. After that, my mum hasn't been the same. Of course she wouldn't be, but it's starting to worry me.
My mother used to have many passions and hobbies. Since my father's death, all she's been doing is sitting in front of the TV. She doesn't even like the stuff she watches, because if I ask her what her favourite programme is, or if she would like to watch a movie instead, she replies with "I don't like anything". She also isn't taking her health seriously: she refuses to get surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome, admits she needs to lose weight but doesn't do anything about it, and I had to pretty much force her to get a MRI - she's had cancer and needs to get one every year. She's become obsessed with death and spends a lot of time talking about spiritism and ways to talk with the dead. She does however have a social life, mainly within the Church, and has friends visiting at home.
I think she might be depressed. I don't know how to help however, and suggesting she goes to a therapist isn't a thing where we're from - she'd feel immensely insulted if I did, it would be like telling her that she needs being closed in the psych ward forever.
I'm not sure she wants help either - I suggested she could talk to a priest to see if it could make her feel better, but she said that nobody could make her feel better.
I'm not saying she should get over it, and I know everyone grieves differently, but she looks like she's given up her life. I'd like to help, but I don't know what to do. | my mum might be depressed, but suggesting a therapist is a giant insult in our culture and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1dz05z | relationship_advice | Boyfriend [25/M] can't keep an erection with me[23/F], and I'm beginning to feel resentful. | Been dating my boyfriend for a couple months now, and we've been having a bit of an issue in the bedroom; he usually has an issue keeping an erection and orgasming at all. Don't get me wrong, he's actually pretty skilled in bed, but he has trouble keeping hard and usually gets very frustrated. I've been having a hard time not taking it personally, although I know it's no one's fault and that it has nothing to do with his attraction for me. He just gets rather angry about the situation, and frankly so have I.
We've tried limiting his masturbation frequency, different positions, blowjobs, even a cock ring (which just made him more nervous it seemed). I'm still convinced it's mental, and have tried calming him down, reassuring him when it happens. I've tried very hard to be understanding, but I feel like my patience is beginning to wane. I find myself just getting angry about it and pulling away from sex because I want so badly for him to finish, even though he's had no problem giving me orgasms. I then start to feel guilty, because I know he's just as frustrated and it's not his fault.
I just don't know what to do. I've had a difficult time talking to him about it because I'm still having issues processing this in a healthy manner and expressing it well. I feel like this little issue is going to blow up and potentially damage what is otherwise an awesome relationship. Any help would be awesome, thanks. | Boyfriend can't keep it up, although the sex is still great, and I'm becoming resentful towards him. |
t3_3xhgjz | tifu | TIFU by going to BFE to check out a car | Okay so my car got totalled (by my mom crashing into the back of me) a few weeks prior to the incident and I drove about 30 minutes from home in my parents car to check out a car. So I check out the car and the guy said it needed some gas so I drove him to the gas station a few blocks up the street so when we leave the house my stomach starts hurting from what I think must have been the taco bell and I'm thinking I can hold it by the time we got to the gas station I realized I've never been so wrong. I had to go at that very moment. So I tell him I have to use the bathroom in the gas station thinking I could be in and out fast and just say I peed. I didn't know the guy so I locked the doors to my parents car. Thinking I might be able to be fast enough and come out like I'm on the phone or something. So I unload and it's pretty bad. Explosive if you will. So probably 5 minutes later I finish and go to wipe... no toilet paper I was in such a rush not to go in my pants I didn't check. And to make it worse some kid is knocking on the door who has to pee. I'm in BFE and have no idea what to do. After a few minutes of thinking I decide to pull out Google maps and find the shitty gas station I'm in and call the place. I tell the guy I'm in his bathroom and there's no toilet paper he thinks I'm playing a prank and when he found out I wasn't he starts laughing and then says he'll get me some. He leaves it by the door and I have to walk over bare ass and grab it. When I get out the bathroom I felt like he told everyone in the store he's still chuckling with some delivery guy and the kid knocking on the door just decided to hold it and left. And this cute chick is looking at me wierd. Meanwhile this guy was sitting outside for like 15 or 20 min. I felt so bad that I just straight up told him what happened. | I drive to BFE to check out a car,had to poop in a sketchy bathroom, no tp, and a stranger is standing outside waiting for me. |
t3_190d1s | relationships | My girlfriend (22f) of 2 years and I (23m) disagree on the number of children. What to do? | We've talked about kids before abstractly and we both want kids, but we've been having like some deep talks about what we want for our future lately and we've come to a disagreement. We are in a very, very serious relationship that is gearing towards the marriage path. We've been together for 2 years in a happy relationship with no major issues (i.e. no cheating, violence, etc). She is 22/f, and I am 23/m.
We were talking about a friend of ours who recently found out she is pregnant and how she is so excited, and we both agreed if a pregnancy was to happen to us soon, we would be happy too. That led us to just a meandering conversation about babies, names, how we would be parents. I've always wanted a huge family. Like in the range of 4,5,6 kids. I come from a family of 3 kids, and it was great and my brother and sister and I are so close. I've always wanted another younger sibling, and I think family is so special and for a variety of reasons I want a large family. I would say I'm very firm in that position.
My girlfriend says she wants two kids, tops and is fine with just one child. She wants to be able to focus everything on the one (or two) kids, and says she couldn't imagine having 4 kids. When I've idolized the idea of 5 or 6 kids. My closest friend growing up was from a family of 7 kids and it was such a loving environment.
She kind of just brushed it off, like we'll figure it out, but to me its kind of a big fucking deal. What do we do now? I'm not really interested in being a free agent, and I'm more than happy with my girlfriend. I'd like her to come around, but maybe that isn't possible. Do I settle, or push the talk, or find someone more compatible (gulp)? | Girlfriend and I were talking about kids. She wants to have one or two children... I want to have a larger family, like 4 to 6 children. How do we (or can we) bridge this difference? |
t3_3ycc71 | relationships | Me [19/F] with my friend [20/M] that I travel the world with booked us a flight to Mexico. I'm terrified/angry/upset. | My friend booked us a flight to Mexico. I'm scared and don't want to go. We met in Barcelona a couple months ago and he's from the States while I'm from the Netherlands. We decided to travel the world together despite living at other sides of the world. Since we want to be as spontaneous as possible one of us books a flight for both of us and alarms the other person 3 days/a week in advance.
I've always talked about going to Mexico but I'm actually terrified. I've never been to south-America before and the chance of us getting in trouble is pretty big. I am a **very** spontaneous/impulsive person (I booked the Barcelona trip when bored in my room, I went by myself) and I can't hold my liquor. I'm pretty sure he can "protect" me to some degree but I'm afraid that we can't really prevent getting into trouble since its Mexico and we're two idiots traveling together. **We don't even speak Spanish.**
At the other hand I feel like that's the fear talking. We push each other to do things that scare us. To go beyond what we [think we] are capable of. The trip to Mexico is a great example of that..but also the reason that I don't want to go. Money isn't a problem when it comes to our safety but I feel like they'd kidnap us or something. Idk. We plan on backpacking through some cities/skydiving/attending parties. (I'm also terrified of hieghts!) If I refuse to go our traveling stops (it's one of the rules) and I really don't want that. I also feel like as an American he might be safer in Mexico than me?
What do you guys think? | 19/F and 20/M travel world together. Guy books flight to Mexico, girl is scared they'll get in trouble. |
t3_2mxhbz | relationships | Me [18 M] with my friend [19 F] of 3 years, Am I leading her on? | BACK-STORY: So we went to the same high school, and now we go to the same college. Since junior year of high school she had been dating one of my best friends. They broke up, she initiated, around a month ago.
THE PROBLEM: We hadn't hung out for a while since the initial break-up, and I decided to make sure she was doing fine. I saw something about free sushi on campus and decided to ask if she wanted to go, and she did.
However, when we were there about 40 minutes in she asked if we were on a date. Before thinking I laughed and said "uh no" (as friends we would mess around like this, and I only think of our relationship as platonic). She immediately blushed, turned away, and said "haha, yeah I was kidding". The rest of the lunch was a little awkward. | Went out with my friend who just had a break-up and she asked me if we were on a date. Am I leading her on? |
t3_eqtb0 | AskReddit | I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but because of our differences in beliefs...I have no idea what to do :( Help me? | Please help me Reddit "/
The two of us have been together for almost two years now, and it's been the most amazing, exciting, just perfect relationship anyone could ever have (I don't want to start sounding too corny). We've fantasized about a future together, where we would live, and we seldom get even slightly upset at each other.
I was raised in a christian family, but nothing too extreme. Overtime, I've developed my own beliefs about God, our origins, purpose, etc. I'm love science, math, astronomy and I'm not afraid to question things, or be open minded about theories. I guess I would be classified as agnostic. My girlfriend on the other hand was raised by a catholic mother, and a very (VERY) christian father. She has often preached to me, and most of the time, I just listen. However, tonight, we had a deep discussion over the phone about her beliefs and mine. I made it clear that we had some fundamental differences (i.e. I do believe in evolution, I don't believe in hell, the devil, demons, and I DO question the bible). She said that she still loves me no matter what, and as long as I accept Jesus Christ as my savior, then it's okay.
But then she told me that she's sorry but, Jesus comes first. Now, I understand that for a Christian, God comes first, but those words have been burning in my head for the longest time. It really hurt me. What if I was atheist? Would we have just ended right there on the phone?
She suggested we read the bible more, and that I go to church because I can't have a relationship with God if I don't try to learn more about him (Which I could argue against). This makes me uncomfortable though because I feel like I'm lying to her by agreeing to do this. But then what do I say - "I don't feel like it?" Then she'll ask why and make me reevaluate my faith. Case and point: I just don't put as much emphasis on religion in my life as she does. That's my problem. | We sincerely love each other, but I just don't put as much emphasis on religion in my life as she does + we have fundamental differences in our beliefs. |
t3_2e479x | relationships | Me [21 M] with my SO [21 F] who never initiates any physical contact | We have been together for 3 years, and I would call our relationship a good one. We have had ups and downs and such, but it all comes together at the end. But one thing has not changed in the last 2 years she never initiates anything, and it was never like this in the first year of dating her. In the first year, we were all over eachother all the time, we would have sex multiple times a day and it was up in the air for who initiated it. Their was a spark that I have never seen before. Then after 1 year, her side started slowing down, and it has gotten to the point where 90% of the sex we have is initiated by me, as well as 100% of all the kisses. We will be texting while we are at work and she will talk about how horny she is throughout the day, then when we get home, she says she is tired and it always comes down to me to make every move. The sex is amazing, and she always enjoys it and even talks about it, but if I don't do anything, we will go days without sex or any physical contact. I have voiced my concerns multiple times, however it is never heard. I am an affectionate person, and I love her, but i'm not sure if I can do this forever. I honestly don't know what to do, i'm thinking the inevitable will have to happen with me leaving her, but I really don't want that. | Sparks are gone and I don't feel wanted. SO never initiates any sort of physical contact beyond cuddling while watching TV. |
t3_w7887 | AskReddit | I have a friend and i want to take things to the next level. How do I go about doing that? | Background information: Cute, blonde haired, blue/green eyed, very ditzy girl. She has never had a boyfriend she has only ever made-out with guys and thats as far as she has gone/been.
So, there is this girl, lets call her....Kate. We have been friends almost 6 or 7 months now. So Kate and I's friendship started off a little bit odd, she thought i was a cool guy and i thought she was a cool girl. One day I was really angry and we had a big fight and she stopped talking to me/ thought I was crazy. But eventually we started talking again and everything is good now. We spend hours almost 3 times a week on skype talking into the wee hours of the night and we have the DEEPEST conversations about life, feelings, all that good stuff. However i want to date Kate and unfortunately, from what i observe with other guys she flirts a lot and then completely friend-zones the guy. Now I have done a bit of research and however much it pains me i have decided to stop talking to her for about a week. Relationships are give and take and It's time to take rather than give like i always do. So my question is what advice do you have for me? How can i get myself out of the friendzone? What do i DO???? | I am friends with a girl and i want to take it to the next step but I am not sure she is. Please HELP! |
t3_xblfj | relationships | Not enjoying the games, need Internet sympathies | Me m26, her f23
So I've started dating a girl for the first time a few months ago. It's been amazing and I still really like her (please keep this in mind, she is amazing in so many ways) but I feel there's a bit of a game that I'm not very good at.
Sometimes she'll get angry at me (sometimes legitimately, to be expected in any relationship I suppose). Sometimes I'll get angry at her and she'll get angry back. The thing is I always feel like I need to apologise and patch things up so she's not angry at me any more. She'll rarely try and patch things up with me. This leads to a scenario where I feel like I'm 'chasing' her all the time. What I need to do is 'man up' some more. I've started holding my ground and not apologizing when I'm sure that I'm not in the wrong. It has helped, she apologized to me the other day, something she has rarely done before.
So this brings me to tonight where she left me to go get food with a friend. I had a fairly legitimate grounds to be pissed off with her, and we had a bit of an argument. Now I'm home by myself and I feel horrible. All I want to do is take all the blame, say I was drunk and shouldn't have gotten pissed off with her etc. I'm afraid that if I don't, she'll break up and I really don't want that. I'm hoping she'll apologise and admit that she was in the wrong but I'm afraid she won't, in which case it'll be a stale mate unless I give in and take all the blame. | I think she awesome but I also think she's playing a game that I'm not used to and it makes me feel guilty all the time |
t3_2me2xa | relationships | Me [23F] with guy [29M] was dating found out he is on Tinder | Dating a guy for a month and a half but we fell hard and got pretty serious. We've had some rough times because I have been hurt a lot and have a hard time allowing myself to be vulnerable. We had an amazing night last night and were playing around this morning and he was taking pics of me and I grabbed his phone in protest. He can see me and his phone screen and I see that he has Tinder so I click on it and open it - he's been talking to girls as recently as Wednesday and had matches yesterday, I think. I said FCK you and left. His only excuse is that "it was before we knew what we were going to be" because we took a few days to think about what we wanted and if it was really going to work bc I have trust issues but he said he has always wanted me and never didn't want to be with me, etc, etc, etc. so then why was he on Tinder?!? We talked Wednesday night. I am gutted. I completely adored him and I hardly ever form connections with anyone. I really thought it was real and I haven't been so happy in years. I don't even know what to do with myself right now. I moved to a new city and he is literally the only person I know here. | Guy I fell hard for is on Tinder even though he claims he is crazy about me and wants to be with me. Gutted. Can't trust anyone and don't know what to do with myself. |
t3_1twpzy | relationships | I'm [F 20] pretty sure my little brother [M 17] is going to grow up to be a murderer, I don't feel safe going off to college and leaving him with my parents [M 50] [F 50] anymore. | He needs help. He recently tried to break my wrist to "express his dominance in the house" (his words) and my parents think it was my fault for provoking him because they know he gets set off easily (I asked if he had finished his homework, fuck me right).
He has a large collection of knives but the most concerning part is the temper. It takes very little to set him off and he always resorts to violence.
I am genuinely concerned that while I'm away, I will get a call from the police saying that my parents have been murdered.
Years ago (maybe 4 or 5) I had to call the police on him because he was strangling my mother and he had to talk to a psychiatrist because the police were concerned that he didn't show any remorse.
I don't what what I can do to protect the family and myself from an emotionally unstable person when my parents are too afraid to do anything about it. | I have a little brother who feels the need to "express dominance" in the family. My parents are too afraid to do anything about it. What can I do? |
t3_134n9o | AskReddit | I picked up my parents computer for them from Best Buy once and they wanted $30 to install some RAM. I responded by opening the case and popping it in myself in under 30 seconds. Reddit, what other completely outrageous charges have you seen people fall for? | Title basically says it all. I would never take anything to Best Buy geek squad to be looked at, but my parents insist on not trusting me when it comes to taking care of their computers for some reason. Anyway, my Dad asked me one day if I could go pick up their computer and a couple new sticks of ram for them as well. I go to the store, grab and pay for the RAM, and then go to the Geek Squad Service desk. I get my parents computer and the guy noticed the sticks of RAM in my hand and says "Oh I see you have some RAM there, would you like us to install that for you?" I respond by just saying "sure, why not?" He then says that it will be a $30 charge to install both sticks of RAM. My jaw immediately dropped in disbelief as i responded by saying "$30? Are you serious? To just push 2 levers, put a stick in, and push em back?" The worker simply looked at me and just shrugged. In front of multiple other customers who had heard our conversation, I open up my parents tower, pop the sticks in the motherboard in under 30 seconds, close it up and walk out of the store. Anyone else seen companies charge ridiculous amounts for some of the most basic services? | Best Buy wanted to charge $30 to install RAM, did it myself in under 30 seconds in front of Geek Squad guys. |
t3_21u934 | relationships | Me [32 F] should I break the 6 month NC to tell my ex [30 M] who I dated for 3 years that he gave me and his other ex [28 F] he gave us STDs? | After a tremulous ending to a complex relationship, I found out my ex had been cheating on me and his other girlfriend (yes, we all knew about each other) with a bunch of other chicks, including an unknown number from craigslist he solicited. He also lied about a lot of things that made me not trust him, thus I ended our relationship.
I've been NO CONTACT for 6 months, because I know it's the best thing to do, and frankly, I'm still super pissed at him for cheating and lying. Should I contact him to let him know he has given me and his other ex STDs? Luckily for me it was a curable one, but the other ex now has genital herpes, and that's not going away.
Pro: He should know if he is giving/exposing current partners to STDs. I feel like I owe it to who he is with now, granted, I don't know who she is or I might talk to her myself.
Pro: He should feel bad for exposing me and his other gf at the time.
Con: He is an asshole who I wish would just fall off the earth.
Con: I would have to talk to him, potentially re-ignite contact/anger. | Ex gave me and another woman STDs. Neither of us have had contact with him for 6+ months, however, lately I feel like he ought to know what he is slinging around on that peen. |
t3_yh1x9 | AskReddit | I live with two chain-smokers in a very small house and constantly smell like /I/ smoke a pack a day. Reddit, how can I fix this? | I'm 19 and currently still living with my grandmother, who smokes CONSTANTLY. As in, rare to see her without a cigarette. My aunt is also frequently here (she kinda does-but-doesn't live here, idk she's fucking crazy) and she's probably /worse/ about it. I stay in my room all day I'm home, only leaving for moments at a time to use the bathroom or put a TV dinner in the microwave (my grandmother has horrible hygiene so I don't eat her cooking any more, and staying in the kitchen to cook my own food means I'm going to get smoke in my face.) I didn't realize how bad /I/ smelled, though, until I recently spent the night at my smoke-free boyfriend's, then picked up my clothes the next day and realized they smelled like a pack of cigarettes. I have my ceiling fan running constantly and sometimes I try to just wear a lot of deodorant and perfume, but that ultimately doesn't help much.
So, reddit, I ask of you.. how do I get rid of this horrible odor? | I live with two chain-smokers and despite staying in my room, away from them, I smell like a chain-smoker myself; how to fix? |
t3_1vmcm9 | relationships | I am [26M] asked girlfriend [28F] of seven years to marry me. Nothing yet | So I have been with the same girl for 7 years 2 months ago I asked her to marry me. We had been rocky about a year year and a half ago but she said we were getting through it and we had talked about getting married.
So 2 month ago I did a whole big thing asked her to marry me and she cried and hugged me but said she needed to think about it. Have not been able to talk or contact her since.
I have been in a complete mess not eating, sleeping all day can't talk to my friends crying just really fucked up. I know that her friends and family hate me and probably talked her out of it.
Has anyone had this happen to them is there something I can do I am out of Ideas or how to just make myself feel better and not a bag of shit.
Sorry If this is the wrong place to post I am just in desperate need of help or anything really the depression is getting to hard to deal with. | asked Girlfriend of 7 years to marry me hasn't talked to me in 2 months and I know her family/friends hate me any help would help can't talk to friends. |
t3_3ebt5j | tifu | TIFU by misunderstanding an innocent offer. | So this was actually last night, but there's no tag for that. I went out with a few friends and got a lot more drunk than I meant to. I ended up dancing very inappropriately with a friend who has a girlfriend.
The thing is we have done this a few times before and nothing bad has ever come of it. I think everyone involved thinks I don't like guys, so just thought it was totally innocent and both our girlfriends were cool with it.
Last night I fucked it up by texting him after he left saying that if he hadn't left I would have done something we would both regret. He then said I was welcome to go over to his instead of going home - I still have no idea why he would say that in response to what I said, but it turned out (after half a dozen texts in which I made it quite clear I was hoping for something else) that it was a perfectly innocent offer for me to stay on their sofa to save taxi money. When I got up today his car was gone, so he must have come over to pick it up without so much as a hello.
Anyway so now I'm just sitting here in a shame spiral, wondering how to ever talk to him again and also whether my girlfriend needs to know about this. Any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. | Drunk me shamelessly hit on a friend, going as far as to imply I wanted to go home with him. We both have long term girlfriends. |
t3_46blop | relationships | Broke up with my [24F] boyfriend [25M] of about a year and 8 months, seeking any advice at all | My boyfriend and I mutually decided to end things about a week ago after a couple months of trying to patch up our relationship. I'm not sure why or at what point we lost our way, but I'd seen this coming for a while and think I underestimated/forgot just how painful a break up is. While I know for quite a while I felt unsure of the relationship and our fundamental compatibility, I am having a very hard time accepting that it's over and that I've let go of the first actual loving, caring, supportive guy I've dated. I'm feeling responsible for our problems and badly for not truly appreciating him for all he is or opening myself up to a healthy relationship and fixing our issues. I keep going over all the things I never fully accepted about him and his personality, family, etc. that stood in the way of our getting along, because he truly is wonderful.
I know it is still very early, I'm just struggling with the inevitable post-breakup fear of 'what if I never find somebody who unconditionally loves me, makes me feel beautiful, and supports me like he did', the thought of being alone while everyone I'm close to has a special someone, and just not having the support of that person being by my side all the time. Mainly, I'm fearful that I made a mistake and that I won't find someone again. It's silly, but I can't help it.
I don't even know what I'm looking for here, as I know that I will look back and realize it was the right thing to do. I'm just having a much more difficult time than I anticipated and it's making it hard to even get through my day. I have moments where I recognize this is a good thing and I need to learn more about myself and what I want, but moments later I'm in tears. It's been a few years since my last break up so I'm just having a hard time processing these feelings and I guess am looking for similar experiences, positive stories, or words from other people going through the same thing.
Thanks for reading. | Broke up with boyfriend of a year and a half and am having a hard time dealing with the sadness/inevitable regret; looking for any support I can get |
t3_44s0pp | relationships | Just started dating my [20/M] best friend [19/F] of over two years. How do we not fuck this up? | I've been best friends with this girl, Kath, for well over two years. We were always those two friends that everyone would make jokes or laugh about how in love we were, to the point of almost our entire mutual friend base actually having bets on when we'd start (just found this one out, yay). Originally, I think this was a large reason we didn't date when we first became friends. There was a ton of pressure to do it and make it last that neither of us was able to and things just kind of went on.
Low and behold, one drunken night we kissed and the next morning found ourselves laying in bed. We decided that we should try this dating thing out. Both of us have huge commitment issues (she's never had a boyfriend) and I got out of a relationship last year and have been pretty casually seeing girls since. We told everyone yesterday and we're already getting this, I can't wait until your wedding comments, and its freaking both of us out. She verbatim said, "What if we just never break up?" We both think this is a great thing and a long time coming, but I don't want to rush this, especially as both of us know everything about each other already. There's mutual attraction, but both of us are really awkward around it, since we've spent two years beating it down. We can barely even kiss right now without laughing and its super awkward. We've been joking that we should get drunk every time we hang out for the next few weeks, because we both know how weird it is right now. Obviously, I don't want to do that and would rather be mature and just try and get over it, but I'm not sure how. I guess what I'm asking is how do we transition well from this best friend to dating relationship and not fuck up everything we have? | I'm living a romcom and began dating my best friend. Neither of us want to fuck this up, scared its going to happen. |
t3_2txybd | relationships | How do I (27 F) leave my boyfriend (29M)? | We've been together for three years. We are both in our late twenties, both just getting our careers underway. I'm in school full time until April with very good prospects for work when I get out. He has a steady job that's in demand. We have no children, only two cats that I'd rather take because I don't trust his pet care. I am taking my road test for my licence in mid February and after that I'll be able to drive. I have no car yet but I have parental support for acquiring a vehicle. Our names are both on the lease but the three month term comes up in March to resign for another year but if I break the lease there are no penalties.
We have nothing very valuable between us and I will let him take whatever he wants except the kitties. My phone line is under his name, but I have terrible credit. If I've been paying the bill for the last three years would the cell phone company let me sign on perhaps?
Either way, we both have mental health issues, and I'm trying to make this as clean and clear a break as possible. I have some friends in the city I can stay with and I'd like to rent a room somewhere. I just need space and to be alone for awhile. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder years ago, and instead of settling for a relationship that hurts me I think I would rather be alone for now.
Anything I've missed? | I'm stuck in an unhealthy relationship. We both are by-the-book crazy (aka diagnosable or diagnosed). How do we do this sanely and without drama? Do we have everything under control? |
t3_1biv8y | loseit | My first NSV! Also, why do my mirror and my scale give me mixed messages? | 27/m beginning at 253.8 lbs this New Year's.
I started calorie counting and exercising... occasionally on New Years, and weighh myself every day about the same time with the same routine. Apparently, as of today, I am down 29.6 lbs since Jan 1st.
However, I've been having a hard time being excited about it since when I look in the mirror, I don't even see a pound gone, let alone 30. I've had a few shirts that I can wear a little more comfortably than before, but yesterday was the first time I got excited about a change I noticed.
Watching baseball opening day, I got really animated when my team scored a pair of runs and jumped up off the couch and hopped around. My pants slipped a little so after I was done celebrating, I reached down to tighten my belt and after several seconds of fishing around like an idiot I looked down and realized there were no more holes to tighten to. Woo! | my mirror tells me I haven't lost a pound but my belt mysteriously has moved in 3 holes and needs another (253.8 lbs to 224.2 so far) |
t3_cgxwd | AskReddit | Hey, reddit students. Has anyone else had to deal with this situation before? It's kind of... really frustrating. | [PIC link here](
Just to make it clear, I go to a small college and this is all, ALL of the networking classes they have to offer.
They used to have more classes, but that dwindled down over the years.
They used to have more teachers too. (at least more than one anyways).
And they used to have more days and times to take such classes.
I know California and everyone else in general is having trouble with finances and such and really need to cut down on certain things, but uh, I can't help but feel this is kind of really unfair. This environment is extremely distracting and does not at all help beginners in the subject. By the time the semester is half way through, the class will have dwindled to half its numbers; I don't exactly know why, but I dropped them, my reasons being that I was barely learning anything and I did not get along with the teacher (he was a condescending asshole). The fact that I did not get along with the teacher was EVEN MORE distracting.
The hours are rather inconvenient too, a lot of the students that take these classes take it for certification, so they usually already have a job that obviously comes first. With the same block on Monday and Wednesday, someone who works nights (me) or has other priorities on those days and hours will have a rough time managing their hours and classes.
Is this a normal practice in small colleges? Is this legal? How do I even get started on getting this "fixed"? Do teachers get paid by how many units they are teaching? (If so, this would certainly give me more rage fuel). I am thinking of sending a letter to both head of the IT department/classes and the dean to see if I can get a response back or something. | some guy at my college is teaching 6 classes. 3 classes on the same 2hr50min block on Monday and 3 classes on the same 2hr50min block on Wednesday and it's really inconvenient. Help me, reddit. |
t3_xe4ss | AskReddit | Hey Reddit! What is the wierdest thing that has happened to you at a family reunion/gathering? | Mine was last August at my 2nd cousin's consecration as a nun.
The ceremony's 'audience' consisted predominantly of my family members, and a few church members. Afterwords at the reception, my uncle took it upon himself to introduce me to some people I hadn't met. I apparently caught the eye of one guy in particular, and considering I had never met him or heard his name before, I assumed we weren't family and he was a member of the church. We talked for awhile, and before I left he told me to add him on facebook.
On the way home my uncle said "It was so nice to see you and your Cousin Jeremy getting along so well, he's 28 you know, and has been in the army for years now...what a brave man."
I knew we had hit it off well, but I figured he already knew we were cousins and I shouldn't worry about it, but if he didn't know we were cousins, he would atleast find out on facebook that I was 15 years old.
To my surprise when I got home he had messaged me through facebook asking if I was single. That was one of the most awkward explanations i've ever had to give, but he knows we're close relatives now, and also 13 years apart. He has a girlfriend now though (his age) and on occasion we still laugh about our first meeting. | My cousin (unknowing of our family relations) hit on me, and later found out I was 13 years his junior, and family. |
t3_1lfkqv | relationships | Can I [30F] ask my new ex [28M] to be FWB? | We met online, together 4 months, and the first month was great. Around that time he found out his ex was dating someone new and it turns out he wasn't really over her, so both our feelings kind of fizzled and he ended up being a relatively distant boyfriend. I gave it some time, but the relationship wasn't working, so now it's over (mutual). He wants to stay friends. I'm still attracted to him, so I said no. I asked if he wanted to keep dating but not exclusively, and he said no, but maybe in the future.
The more I think about it, though, the more I do want to stay friends. I just also want to make out. We get along great, the sex is great, and we always have a lot to talk about. Is this a reasonable idea? I am rationalizing it in my mind as okay because it wasn't a long relationship, neither of us is in love with each other, and we're both kind of lonely. And I'm just… not ready to jump back onto OKC.
I'm not exactly good at breakups, so I'd love some advice here. | Together 4 months, ended mutually. Is it reasonable to ask my ex be FWB (since) we don't have feelings for each other? |
t3_1xp5fb | AskReddit | Is living a religious lie the best choice sometimes? | Hello, I live with my parents at the moment and am a current agnostic. My dad has been taking me to an Alpha Classes (basically bible study classes) at our church. I have told him I will actively look into Christianity and am reading both "A Case For Christ" and "Atheism and the Case Against Christ" in order to appreciate both sides of the story. My dad is old and his faith is very important to him and I am starting to dread coming to a conclusion that would be displeasing to him. If I find that I don't believe in Christianity should I just fake it to make him happy? I know it must be difficult to be older and to imagine that death is the end, although I guess it could be hard for anyone really. Anyway, let me know what you think. I have a hard time being dishonest but an equally hard time disappointing someone especially in such an important matter as this. | Should I tell my dad I'm a Christian to please him even if I find that I don't believe in it? |
t3_1362ko | AskReddit | My boss verbally abuses me and treats me like total shit - tomorrow I'm quitting. How should I do it? | I will shorten this extremely long story. I've worked at my job for about three months now. My boss, on a day to day basis, belittles me (calling me a loser, idiot, dumbass, fucking retard, etc). Today, I was scheduled 'til 5:30. I approached him and politely said, "Is it possible for me to be off by 4 today? We have been pretty slow today and I have a lot of personal things to take care of outside of work." He went complete batshit, stood up from his chair, got within 3 inches of my face, and began screaming at me. "When I schedule you to work 'til 5 fucking 30 you work 'til 5 fucking 30 don't ask for the fucking hours if you cant work them you fucking idiot!" he went on and on for at least 5 straight minutes and literally brought me to tears (which was scary in itself). I've sense realized that my emotional stability is a lot more important than this job. So I'm considering quitting. How do you suggest I do it, reddit? | I'll put this here anyways Boss is a total jackass. I'm quitting tomorrow. Give me something memorable to do. |
t3_4kaspc | relationships | How do I [22F] get our of my 1 year FWB relationship with my [21M] housemate? | So I've been in a FWB relationship with my roommate for just over a year. Both of us have tried to stop it several times before, mainly because I'm getting feelings. I keep pushing those to the background because on the one hand, it isn't really a good time for me to date because I'm graduating and probably moving soon, but on the other hand I'm starting to realise that I really want to be in a proper relationship again. He knows I have feelings, and says he does too, but I'm not naive enough to think that his feelings are the same as mine.
The problem is that every time we try to break it off, even if he was the one initiating that, a few days later we always end up sleeping together again. It's always him who initiates it again, and I always end up going for it... either because it's convenient for me, I just feel so drawn to him, or, like last time, because he tells me he has feelings for me and just doesn't want to commit and I somehow convince myself that's good enough, that hey, maybe I don't *really* want a relationship anyway.
But I know that's stupid and I'm sick of it.
The problem is I don't seem to be able to break out of this cycle. Maybe all I need is a wake up call. So, how should I go about finally ending it once and for all? Please note also that we are housemates, I can't just cut him out of my life until I'm over it. Moving out isn't an option either. | I need a wake up call and advice as to how to get out of my perpetual FWB relationship with my housemate. |
t3_36naiv | relationships | Me [21/F] dating him [28/M] for almost a month, he's still browsing online dating | So we've been dating exclusively for about a month now. I deactivated my online dating profile a few weeks ago, but he is still actively using a couple sites. I've asked him a little bit about it and he says he's not actively asking women out on dates and that he is only having sex with me. I'm probably not going to ask him about this super soon, but what do you guys think an appropriate amount of dating time is to ask someone to shut that shit down? We are still very new, but this question has been on my mind. I'm not trying to scare him away and go stage five clinger, but I also don't want to mislead myself into thinking we are more serious than we are. | Dating a new guy that I'd like to get serious with, how soon do you think it's appropriate to ask someone to shut down their online dating profiles? |
t3_4icg6g | relationships | Me [19 F] with my crush [19 M] who only wants to be FWB with me. I like him a lot and don't know what to do. | I'm a sophomore in college. So I met this guy (who goes to the same school) on tinder, we met up, everything was great. I thought we really clicked and we had a few dates. On the last date we made out.
He is really attractive, smart, independent, mature and confident. He has all his life together and he knows what he wants for the future. I like him a lot.
But he said he didn't want anything serious because he has trust issues, he has a lot of commitments like school, internships. He has never had any serious relationships before because he just doesn't trust anyone. Also he believes that we are too young for relationships. However, as a guy, he admits that he has the desire to be with girls (not just sexually), but at the same time he doesn't want any commitments. So he told me he is just looking for a friend with benefits.
I like him and I have feelings for him. I want more than a sexual relationship. However, if I say no, I may lose him. I asked him how many friends with benefits is he planning to have, he said he only has time for one. So basically just me and him having a sexual relationship without commitment.
I don't know what to do. Would he develop feelings for me and even date me if we spend more time together as FWB? He said he had trust issues, then would be trust me if I stay with him long enough, as FWB first?
Or should I just say no and then we go on separate ways? | I like a guy who isn't into something serious and only wants to be FWB. Would he date me if I become his FWB long enough so he has feelings for me? |
t3_16yemi | relationship_advice | (22 F) My boyfriend (24 M) has terrible roadrage, and it's upsetting to me when it occurs. Advice? | Hi everyone. I've been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now, and he's been great - very respectful and level-headed. One of my concerns with him, however, is his road rage. He's very polite and agreeable, perhaps more so than the average person. However, when he gets on the road, suddenly everything makes him angry. A person up ahead doesn't signal that he's changing lanes (but does not cut anyone off)? Rage. Cars on the freeway who don't use the left lane as a passing lane? Rage. Bumpy, ill-kept road? Rage. Pothole? Oh, all the frightening rage.
He gets so angry in the car sometimes that it just makes me want to sink into my seat and disappear. It's very uncomfortable seeing someone you care about so much be so angry, especially when he is so polite and mild-mannered outside of a car.
He's explained it to me by saying that inefficiencies (in traffic, video games, programs, anything) piss him off, as do people who increase the likelihood of accidents. But most of the things he gets angry about are not dangerous, such as a car up ahead changing lanes without signaling when our car is the only other car for miles.
I wish that I could help him stop being angry on the road because I figure anyone's lifetime utility would be increased by decreasing unnecessary anger. However, I can't figure out how to make him care less about small mistakes drivers make on the road everyday, if it's even possible. | Boyfriend has road rage over mildly harmless mistakes drivers make on the road everyday. How can I lessen his anger, if possible? |
t3_32r3af | relationship_advice | Me 27/m with 26/f girlfriend. Due to violating my lease my girlfriend was forced to move out. It's been all downhill from there. | So I recently got a call from my landlord inquiring about the water bill and why it was so high. I thought nothing of it until he then asked if my girlfriend was living with me (which she was) and if that's why the water bill was high. I lied to him and said that she wasn't.
After that we went on a little vacation that was absolutely amazing. We both had a blast. It was a very fun and loving vacation. Came back, she lived at my place for another week, then she moved most of her things out. When she packed her stuff up and left she was very upset (at the situation). She is now back at her old place and it has been a tumultuous 1.5 weeks. Some days she comes over after work just to give me a hug and hang out for a minute, other days she wants nothing to do with me and wants to be left alone. She has mentioned that her moving back home feels like a breakup. The last few days have been the worst. She has barely talked to me at all.
At this point I'm just trying to be patient and respect her space. Can anyone else offer up any good advice or strategies for handling this situation. It has been incredibly stressful. | Girlfriend forced to move out due to violating my lease agreement and since then she has been a mix of very loving one day, and not wanting anything to do with me the next. |
t3_35pyw5 | relationships | Need help with how to deal with my crush. [16 M] and [16 F] | So I'm like 95% sure my crush really likes me and wants to get physically close(kissing), and maybe date me. She told me when we were texting that I was the best looking and the sweetest guy from our class, but hasn't told me if she is interested in anything. (In Denmark you are in the same class with the same people through 10 years of school.) She told me there was a guy from our klass she wouldn't mind kissing with, and was like quite sure she would like a relationship too. I'm like 97% sure the first one is me, but I don't know about the relationship..
But, before I ask her on a date and tell her about my fellings, I would really like to try and kiss her, so here's is my question:
(This would have to be at a party) So say we're just talking and I put my hand on her leg or my arm around her shoulder, if she is interested in kissing me too how will she react? And if she is not interested, how then? She is also my best girl friend, so I really don't want to mess this up, and I want to be sure she wanna kiss me too :)) | How do I approach my crush, who I am really sure likes me too, at a party, if I wanna kiss her, and how will she react if she wanna kiss too, and if not? |
t3_iuvwm | relationships | I want her back. | As the title says, I want her back. So here's a little backstory.
I am a 19 year old male and I have been dating this girl(19 as well) for about 10 months, doesn't seem long, and I'm young I know, but I didn't come here for that. Basically, throughout the duration of our relationship, everything was awesome. Best relationship I've ever had, until she broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. She actually just said it was a break, but I've been messing things up so badly since, I feel like she's about done. BUT, I want her back.
I started to become possessive of her, I got angry when she talked about drinking, I threatened her guy friends and I told her I didn't like her hanging out with them etc. I basically didn't trust her, I started arguments that got out of hand and she felt trapped and had enough. She never gave me any reason not to trust her, I just let my emotions get the better of me. I didn't realize this at the time, I though I was just being a protective guy, but now I know that what I was doing was wrong and unfair.
Problem is, I don't know how to prove this to her. I love her to death, and I really don't want to move on.
Lately I've just been really nice to her, showing her I realize my mistake and I'm making it right. She has started responding to my texts, not angrily anymore but just cautious still. She comes to the gym when I do and we talk a little, but never touch or hug or anything a friend wouldn't do.
I Just want to know what I can do to try and show her I've learned my lesson and things won't be like they were. I want to know how I can gain her trust back, because for me, being long term friends isn't an option. If this doesn't work and she moves on, I can't be friends, and she said that that would kill her. | I'm in love with this girl, I became possessive in our relationship and she put me on a break. How can I gain her trust back and show her It's not going to be the same if she continues this relationship? |
t3_3fz9z2 | relationships | (21/m) First girlfriend long distance (21/f) | Over a month ago i met a girl and was friendly with her. She messaged me on fb a week later and we started talking. Now a week ago i finally visited her 400km away and we had a great weekend together and i lost my virginity to her twice. We have been talking on fb every day since and i think ive fallen in love...
Heres the problems... she broke up with her 3 year bf the day we met and it seems she doesnt want to jump into another one. She also thinks im amazing and doesnt get what i see in her. Her last bf didnt appreciate her at all. The other problem is the distance. Its just so expensive and time consuming to visit each other. Cheapest way is ~100 eur and ~7 hours or more of travel. I dont think i can handle not seeing her every weekend at least... is it just first love syndrome or sth? Should i just end it and stop myself from suffering further? I have huge feelings for her and she tells me she really misses me too... its just too painful...
She is the first girl who has accepted me for who i am after a life full of being bullied and has given me confidence which i never had before. Maybe now im confident enough to get a girl who isnt so difficult to be with. I dont know... | fell in love with first girl who reciprocated interest after a depressing life but she lives far and im not sure if it will work out |
t3_1zw1o6 | AskReddit | [Serious] Trolls of Reddit, can you explain my brother's behavior after a stroke? | My brother has always been a troll, just on the internet. He had a hemorrhagic stroke at 35. During the course of this hospital stay, I was able to save his life twice (made him take his blood pressure meds in hospital and got him out of the hospital which brought his blood pressure back to a safer range). I looked after him for a month afterward and my family for an additional month but none of this has had an impact on how he treats me or anyone, for the better. He believes its a degradation of himself to treat anyone how they want to be treated. He does treat everyone in general the same old crappy way, but I'm wondering if anyone with years of experience with this kind of personality can explain to me the psychology behind his mindset. | My brother is a troll and doesn't believe in treating anyone they way they want to be treated. Is he still sick? Or can someone with experience explain his thinking? |
t3_166qk9 | relationships | My boyfriend [M21] doesn't show me [F20] any affection and it's killing me | Throwaway because my boyfriend is a redditor.
I have known him for a very long time, and we have been together for two years. At the very start of our relationship, he showed affection in the form of cuddling and hugs and kissing and everything like that. When he was drunk at parties he would text me, telling me how beautiful I am and how much he appreciates being with me and how lucky he is to have met me. This made me feel so wanted and loved, but I guess this was part of the 'honeymoon' stage.
Over the years this has stopped, and lately I've been crying myself to sleep most nights and feeling so damn unwanted. It makes me sad when I think about how it used to be, but I know that over time we have grown comfortable with being together, and his need to tell me how much he loves me of course has become less important. Which is normal, but I'm a very affectionate person and it seems he is not.
Recently he told me cuddling is a 'waste of time' and generally after sex it is an up and go sort of thing. There is never any form of hugs or lying around, he leaves almost instantly. This also adds to me feeling unwanted and we have discussed this, but he says feels like he could be doing something else more important instead of being lazy.
Reddit, I don't know what to do. We connect so well and have had an almost perfect relationship, but this issue keeps coming up and no matter how much we discuss it, it never seems to be resolved and he doesn't seem to try. I know I can get upset easily and this very well might be me feeling clingy and over emotional, but I need another opinion from someone outside of the relationship. | Boyfriend of two years has stopped showing any form of affection and tells me cuddling is a waste of his time. I feel so unwanted and I don't know how to get past this |
t3_13xnin | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most awesome/interesting moment that made your day? | Today, while I was walking back home it started raining. I didn't have an umbrella so I put my hood on and walked with the crowd to protect myself from the rain, since everybody had an umbrella. After a while I hear a group of kids say "Hey, look at that guy! He looks like that dude from Assassin's Creed!" "You're right! I bet he's trying to blend in!". As soon as I heard it, I started running, as if "somebody had spotted me"and climbed up a little wall that separated the road from a little park. I couldn't see the look of those kid's faces, but this surely made my day | Some kids mistook me for an Assassin (probably altair or desmond) and I made them belive I was |
t3_m9oht | AskReddit | If a Star was suddenly exposed to an extremely large amount of debris from interstellar space, could it prematurely form into a Black Hole? | To elaborate, I understand a star is mostly plasma and the basic elements of which react to create nuclear fusion, but I wonder if something supermassive such as a *solid* matter planet the size of Jupiter, made of Lead or some other dense element could cause the sun to prematurely form into a black hole, just because of the increase of mass?
What would happen to something that large or even larger colliding with a star like our Sun for that matter? Would it be damaged in any way? Would matter from the Sun be knocked out of the gravitational pull, or would the matter vapourize or become a part of the sun? Would it "mix" with the elements in the Sun causing a degradation in the intensity of energy being given off by the sun? | is it possible that the Sun or another star, with repeated bombardment from massive planets and other celestial objects be prematurely formed into a black hole because of the density or gravity caused by the massive increase of mass? |
t3_17sux9 | relationship_advice | Can I recover my friend from WoW? | Apologies in advance, I'm still a noob at this whole game of human interaction and I'm not quite sure what's normal and whether I'm just uber clingy.
Basically, my friend and I used to talk quite often. There would be the odd occasion where he would ditch me for his partner or for a game (not WoW) but he had gotten a lot better. However, now he's getting back into World of Warcraft and from the day that he did, I haven't even had a proper conversation with him. My intuition says to tell him that it's bugging me because he's not a mind reader, but I don't want to be the fun police and I'm not sure if I have any right to be demanding his time (and my intuition often sucks). I'm not that fun either. I would feel guilty if he stopped playing to spend time with me and I end up boring him. I'm reluctant to admit this because it'll make me look like even more of a desperado, but this is an online friend.
Do I have a leg to stand on here? Or should I just leave him be and stop being so needy? Sorry if this seems like an insignificant issue (or non-issue), but I really miss my friend. I want to fix it before he forgets all about me. | My friend basically ignores me now, ever since he got back into World of Warcraft and I don't know if I have the right to ask him to spend more time with me. |
t3_53vqio | relationships | Me 19 M/ with my 4 roomates 19-20M of a month, how do I politely tell them they can't use my kitchenware? | So I'm currently living in a 6 person apartment with one friend and 4 random people I haven't met before. Living with them has been hell and I'm planning on moving out at the end of the semester but in the mean time I need to find a way to live with them for the next 11 weeks,
At the begging of the semester one of them asked if they could borrow my Pyrex baking pan and trying to be nice I said sure. This was before I knew they were pigs. Four days after my roomate used it he finally washed it but did a terrible job so I ended up re-washing it myself making a note to myself not to let them use my stuff again.
That was 3 weeks ago, but recently (starting 1 week ago) they have begun to start using my pots and pans and sometimes plates/bowls without asking. I'm pretty laid back and honestly I don't really care that they are not asking me, the problem is whenever they use a pot or pan, they do the worst job at cleaning it and one time they even put away a pot that they didn't even try to clean!
I was hoping this would be a one time thing but it has been happening consistently and I have no idea how to address it. I want to tell them that I don't want them using my shit anymore but I don't want to sound like a dick when I do it. Any suggestions? | Roomates keep using my stuff and returning it dirty, don't know how to nicely tell them to stop using it. |
t3_jnjig | self | So my aunt said something really hurtful to me that I'm having a hard time getting over... | My first morning at her apartment (my sister and I were staying with her for the weekend) she said, "Oh, I was thinking about you earlier," opened her refrigerator, pulled out a full carton of OJ and water filter container full of water, and asked me to hold them.
She proceeded to tell me that those two containers were about 10 pounds (combined) and to really feel that weight and imagine what it was doing to my joints and body. Yes. She obviously meant I needed to lose weight. I cried a lot that weekend.
I feel I should mention that I am a female, and I don't think most people would call me grossly overweight. I mean, I'm not a twig, but I do exercise regularly and eat reasonably. Anyways, as much as I have tried to put it behind me/be a strong female that knows looks aren't everything, I still find myself feeling self-conscious about what other people think from time to time, and I was hoping Reddit may have some help/advice for me. Maybe someone else has had a similar experience? | my aunt told me I was fat using a carton or oj and water. Still self-conscious. Any advice? |
t3_2d1gzz | relationships | Me [20 M] with my 'dating partner' [24 F] 3 months, having a talk about 'breaking up' | Hey guys,
It is a really complicated situation, we were actively dating and kissing (no sex) for 2-3 months and we both had a 5 minute or so talk (face to face) last week about how we both like each other and she just wants to keep me as a really good friend, which isn't any run of the mill bullshit, because a lot of people have manipulated her in the past. She said she'd rather not risk losing me in a bad breakup or something like that. Now that's all true, and I know it is - and to be honest I am not opposed to that really.
My question here is that I want to have a second talk where I explain how I felt and feel now along the lines of:
"when I first met you I felt this, you were so keen to do stuff then it dropped off. I like this that and the other about you. Let's just be really good friends. I still love you, and probably will for a while, but I am not expecting anything from hanging out with you."
Is this a good idea? I really just want to get off my chest exactly how she made me feel, not anything bad, and how special she is.
Does anyone think this is a good idea? | Should I explain to person I was dating, who wants to be friends now, how I felt when I met her and during our dates and that I still love her now but also think we should just be really good friends. |
t3_39qblc | relationships | I'm [23M] having trouble with my ex girlfriend [19F] 2 months after the breakup. She's since volunteered to transfer into my department at work, among other things, and it bothers me. | So my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me a couple months ago. We worked together at the same location, but on completely opposite sides of a rather large building and as a result, I never had to deal with her.
She texts me periodically and I respond in a polite, if distant, manner. A few weeks ago, she texted me stating that after the breakup that she didn't go back to her ex (one of the reasons we broke up), that she and I could have done things differently, asking if I was still single, and then springing on me that she volunteered to transfer into my department at work. That transfer takes affect today but she'll actually start on Monday.
For what it's worth, my department is very physical and it's not somewhere you transfer in to- you transfer out of it. The last transfer into it was 2.5 years ago, and that was me.
Yesterday she was saying that she wanted to 'start over'. I'm not entirely sure how to go about taking that.
Can anyone shed some light on what in the hell she's doing all this for? And maybe someone could tell me what I should expect on Monday when I start work with her? | Ex volunteered to transfer into my work department, sending me texts that don't quite make sense. What's up? |
t3_258csr | tifu | TIFU by accidentally implying that I enjoy necrophilia... to my girlfriend | In complete disregard of the T in TIFU, this happened last night.
It all started a two days ago, when my girlfriend of 7 months stopped texting me back, and all communication was severed between us, after what I deemed a mild disagreement. Our relationship was going perfectly fine, so I couldn't think of any reasonable motives for her to leave me, so this strikes me as odd. Anyways, another day goes by, and no responses to my texts or calls, and I begin to worry a little bit. I stopped by her place in the evening, but she wasn't there, so I began to panic a little bit. (I realize this sudden rush of paranoia is irrational, but rather than criticize, empathize!) Anyway, my worry eventually devolves into panic that she's dead somewhere in some swamp in the boondocks of Louisiana. (It should be noted that during this week, I binged on True Detective, per the recommendation of said girlfriend, so I was almost certain that the Yellow King struck again.)
Finally, yesterday night comes along and I hear a knock on my door and to my surprise, my girlfriend is at the door. She comes in "guns blazing" if you will, and wraps her arms around me as she tells me about what had happened, and takes off my shirt and things start to escalate, and like any man, I get swept up in the moment. I don't have time to tell her that I thought she was dead and I was worried sick about her before we begin knock boots. (Final side note for those wondering: My series of erotic novels will be available soon)
Then, in a moment of sweet unbridled passion, I proclaim to her "It's like fucking a dead person!" and as you can imagine, there was a look of sheer horror on her face. | Thought my girlfriend was dead, turns out she's fine, we have sex and I tell her it's like fucking a dead person. |
t3_s0ks8 | relationship_advice | Is it crazy for me to want to wait for her? | To put it quite simply I am head over heals for this girl. Where things start to get hairy is that we don't live close by at the moment and we've discussed that we shouldn't jeopardize what we have with a long distance relationship (we've both had them go very poorly in the past.) We grew up next door to each other but never really got to know one another until our different school vacations lined up about a year ago. We hung out on new year's eve and a few drinks later we threw caution to the wind and had one of my most memorable kisses I can remember. Since that night whenever we've both been home at the same time we've spent every moment together. I tried dating different girls a couple of times and i know she has dated a few guys since then but I just feel like she seems to be all I really want. Next spring we both finish our undergraduate degrees but our paths continue to differ for a while longer, which hurts slightly to think of. Whenever we text and talk it always seems to be us basically saying, "hey, wouldn't it be great if we could be together." I guess at the end of the day I would love your opinions on what i should do. Do i try and move on and look for something as meaningful or do i continue to live life like I am and hope when they can, our paths connects more permanently? | All i seem to want is to be with her but i can't for the time being. Do i actively try to move on or wait and hope things change soon? |
t3_368pgm | relationships | I[21 M] called it off with girl I've been dating [18 F] of 2 months, feel bad. | We had been dating for about 2 months. We never agreed on being gf-bf but we hung out a lot, hugged and have kissed. She wanted to move forward and go exclusive and be my gf. I told her that I wasn't ready or in a comfortable position to be in a committed relationship due to school and other committments, and wouldnt want to committ to something I can't uphold.
The real reason why I didn't want to move forward, was because I just didn't really feel a connection. She's an amazing girl, very sweet and trustworthy. But just not my "type". Anyway we met this past Friday and talked about our future and I broke it to her. She didn't cry but I knew she was sad. She later texted me and said she had cried. I felt awful the whole day. We weren't even officially a bf-gf but it feels like a break-up. Is it normal to feel this?
Also she wants to continue to hang out, which I feel will be weird. She might think that because I said im not ready now, that there is hope, although I don't think there is. How do I handle that? I wouldn't mind hanging out but don't wanna lead her on. | Broke it off with girl Ive dated 2 months, not officially bf/gf but feels like breakup. Partially lied as to why I broke it off. wants to continue to hang out... advice?? |
t3_40qzb2 | relationships | my boss [21 M] kissed me [24 M] three days ago, but he's straight | I'm a fill in roadie for a band, only for the current leg of their tour.
I'm an openly gay man and im not ashamed to admit it, so when I told the band and other touring crew, I didn't think much of it. well one of the band members for the supporting band found out somehow and punched me. He was a dick but I'm over that.
So I obviously walked away, just wanting to be left alone, when the lead singer for the band, Ryan, (not supporting act band) comes to talk to me. he apologizes for the behavior of the homophobic shit, and we talk for a while after that.
I really enjoyed his company, and apparently he enjoyed mine too because we started hanging out more. now Ryan's a very quiet guy like he keeps to himself and only has one real friend. so you can see I was so confused sort of like 'what is so special about me that he would pay attention to me at all' sort of thing. We did some dumb shit together like throw a bottle at the nasty Homophobes head (don't worry he's fine) and went to parties together, and sort of bonded over that.
well then we're chilling behind the tour bus alone and I joke about how hard it is to get layed on tour. Ryan chuckles and then just stares at me. we look at each other for a second, and then he kisses me. and I kiss him back. I asked him what he was doing and he said "pitying you"
this happened three days ago and I still dont know what to do. I think I really like him, but I'm too cute to settle down. plus he's straight and that would be confusing for both of us. I also would rather not lose my job over this. | basically im a roadie for a band and the lead singer of that band kissed me but I'm a guy and he's straight and I dont know if I should pursure this as a relationship or not |
t3_3yjhgc | relationships | I [26/m] have been on 6 dates with a girl [26/f] but no kiss, need advice | Ok so to preface I asked this girl out about a month ago. She was a mutual friend of a friend and she seems like a really nice girl so I figured I would ask her out. Well my friend told me just to be extra careful/mindful because its possible she had been a victim of sexual assault.
I really didn't want to make anything uncomfortable but on our first date we went to a restaurant and it was really nice, I think we got along quite well and the conversation was really interesting and she is just a great and interesting girl in general. Well when I drove her home I walked her to her door and kind of leant in VERY slightly to kiss her but she kind of gave me body language that would insinuate that she was not comfortable so I just backed out.
Since then we have been on 5 other dates and they have all been really nice, she is just a great girl and I really enjoy spending time with her but I am really not sure what to do. Is it weird that we have been on six dates and not kissed? We are both 26. I really don't want to push anything and make her uncomfortable but I don't want her to think I'm not interested in her at all either. She seems like she is into me and is always excited about our dates so I think she is enjoying herself. We have another date planned this friday but I don't really know what to do. I really don't want to make her feel uncomfortable at all, but I feel like asking to kiss her is like... putting way too much pressure on her. Is that a rude thing to do? Honestly I don't know, I have been raised to always respect women of course. Is it stupid to think that she will try and kiss me when she is ready? I know all women are different but... Does that sound like something that could happen?
I just really like this girl. Any advice on the matter would be appreciated. | been on 6 dates with a nice girl, haven't kissed her yet due to trepidation, possible history of sexual assault for her. don't really want to ask her about it incase it brings up bad thoughts/memories |
t3_nvvsq | AskReddit | Redditors of Virginia/Maryland/D.C., recommend some things for a visiting Texan to do! | Well I'm visiting my dad in Virginia for the next week, right next to Dahlgren Naval Base, which puts me about 15 minutes away from whateverthehell that bridge is that crosses the Potomac from Virginia to Maryland, and about an hour and a half away from D.C., where I will possibly be spending two days some time this weekend.
Anyways, I'm a 23 year old single guy, my vehicle is here, and in the times where I won't be spending time with my dad, is there anything in particular your recommend seeing? Not just touristy things and museums, please, I'm sure I'll be attending plenty of those with the family. What I'm looking for are things that are less well-known, but interesting, or just things a 23 year old single guy might be interested in doing.
I've been to D.C. a few times, seen most of the common attractions, but other than that I don't really know this area at all, or anyone up here.
Thanks in advance guys and gals! Otherwise I'll just have terrible internet and no video games to occupy my downtime! (Nothing too far away please! I don't really see myself driving more than an hour or so for anything.) | 23 year old male Texan wants things to do around Dahlgren, Va, and the D.C. area. |
t3_1oyd2v | Advice | [Relationship] I need help Reddit. | Me and this girl had been dating for a few months and before that we had been friends for a year or so. The problem is she broke up with me and now wants to be friends. I would love that except I am still very in love with her and I'm not sure what to do.
She came over today. She said she just wanted to say goodbye so I said sure. She came over and we ended up standing there with my arms on her sides and her staring down at my chest crying holding eachother closer at times. I pulled away from her and asked her if there was one thing she could do for me and she said sure. I asked her for a kiss, just one last kiss. And she agreed. I leaned in to kiss her and it was the best kiss I have ever been apart of. When we parted she just burrowed into my jacket and started bawling. I wrapped her up and said something like you know that I love you ____ more than anything and she said that she loved me too.
Not long after that she had to go and she just stared at me us standing in front of eachother with her hands in mine and I leaned in for another kiss and she kissed me back. Then she left. In the car she sent me a message saying that she loves me but can't be in a relationship with me right now but wants to be friends. I don't know if I can do that without hurting me and her anymore. If I could how would you guys suggest I go about this? | I am madly in love my recently broken up with ex she told me she loves me but doesn't want a relationship but wants to be "best friends". How can I do this without hurting myself and her more? |
t3_uhi54 | AskReddit | My best friend is the hardest working kid I've met - I think he's doing it wrong - Should I help him? Or should I keep out of it? I really need some advice. | One of my best friends here at school is one of the hardest working people I've ever met. He is super-disciplined. Sleeps from exactly 12 to 6. To him, morning means a quick breakfast of a pop-tart and packing a PB+J sandwich for lunch, goes to the gym and works out like a beast and gets to the library to start studying. Has the ability to sit through the whole day with three or four short 5-minute breaks in between. I am definitely envious that he can sit that long, at the same time: I don't think he is working efficiently.
He's studying to be an engineer. He spends hours together on the same problem in Elementary physics (Kinematics and motion) now, and calc 2 the previous semester. He claims that he does not understand it conceptually. And he still tries. Oh yeah, he tries really hard. I've got to give it to that kid, but here's the thing, even though he knows he isn't doing it the best way, he is not willing to waste time to figure out what he is doing wrong. I think he just tells himself that he is stupid. I really don't think he is. I've seen him understand a couple of things as soon as I explained it in a different way.
His eating habits are the worst too, all he eats is canned food and ramen for dinner. I don't think that is the way the human body works. I have tried to reach out to him. I have asked him to eat regular meals through the day. To eat healthier. I have asked him to sleep a little longer. He doesn't want to listen to me. He thinks all these things don't matter.
How do I reach out? How do I convince to him that human body is more than just that? Or should I do anything about this at all? Should he figure it out himself? I really need some perspective on this reddit. | Friend is studying very hard, but very inefficiently. I want to help, but he is resisting. Should I or not? |
t3_1a20ri | AskReddit | How do you guys go about feeling safe in public areas after mass shootings? | This is subject that comes up a lot with my boyfriend. I always piss him off because every time we go to a movie, 20-30 minutes in, I'm like, "What if someone came in here and started shooting us all right now?" Shit like that. Now he doesn't want to go to a movie ever again.
It just got me to thinking, what does Reddit think? Do you ever have thoughts that pop in your head like this? Like, for instance, I think about someone pulling a gun out on campus when I'm walking around, and what I would do.
If you do, how do you go about getting over it, or feeling safe just going out in public in general? I don't want to sound like some nut who is going to become a hermit, but I was just really curious as to how others have reacted to these recent shootings. | Do you randomly have thoughts/worries about a gunman/mass shooting while you're in public? If so, how do you get over it in order to feel safe or even partake in normal activities like going to the movies? |
t3_4bsbe3 | relationships | I [24F] am trying to get over my exboyfriend [26M] but he left me so confused. | Yes, this is one of those posts. But, I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to move on, and maybe some help reconciling what happened.
My ex of 7 months broke up with me a few weeks ago, after an argument. I was being a jerk, and being very cranky, so yeah, it was my fault. To my credit, I have been having some life challenges (lost job, spent 3 months searching, found job, got behind on rent, etc.).
Anyway. He broke up with me after our argument, and he said that we weren't a good match, he should have seen all the "red flags" before, we should just be friends, and that we were incompatible.
The reason this is so shocking to me, is because for the entirety of our relationship, he said the exact opposite. Literally. His whole family liked me (to my knowledge), his parents specifically told me he thought we were a good match, his friends too (or maybe that changed at some point).
The night before we broke up, he told me he loved me. A week before, he told me he didn't want to be with anyone else but me, forever. The day OF, he started talking about our future kids.
The day we broke up, I thought he was pissed, not considering ending our relationship. When I asked him where this was coming from, he told me he had been thinking about it. He also said he didn't want to try and work it out because he didn't think he could get back into it.
Why would someone who was seriously considering breaking up be giving me lip service like that, consistent with the rest of the relationship? He's also said things like, "If we ever break up, I'd want to date someone exactly like you. I don't know how I'd find you again." (although, that was less recently. maybe about 2 months ago)
We haven't really been in contact since then. I did ask him to be friends, | I know it's over. But, what would propel a guy to behave thi way, then break up? Basically, this is incredibly out of character for him. |
t3_29e8h5 | jobs | Trying to get another job while I have a job already... | I've been job hunting and recently took a position that was temp-to-hire through a staffing agency at a small but growing company. AFTER taking this position I found out that a better position (much better pay, benefits, etc.) was being offered to me from another company, but the process will take about a month. It's all pending my ability to get certain documents, which I don't see as a problem but like I said it's about a month down the road and I don't see anything as 100% until I'm actually working there.
So... long story short I want to keep the place I'm at while I get the new job. I know it will make me look like a giant jerk when I leave because I just started and they are spending time and resources training me. If I quit now I lose out on several weeks of pay and if something happens that I don't get the better job, then I'll be out of work again altogether and I can't afford that. My main problem is how am I going to get time off for all of the things I need to do (a few interviews that I know of related to the documentation I need) without getting fired from what I have now? I also have a completely unrelated appointment next week that was scheduled long ago, so that adds to the time off that I am needing. | I have to take time off to get a better job without losing the one I have and I am not sure how to go about doing that. |
t3_22tyf3 | relationships | Why does my F(21) guy friend M(21) ask me about my love life? | There's a LOT of detail about our friendship that I won't get into. We've been close friends for 4 years. I haven't seen him in about a week. Here is how our conversation went tonight:
Him: So how've you been lately?!
Me: *goes to answer*
Him: How's your love life?
Me: Very single
Him: Oh? Our mutual friend said you were seeing a guy
Me: Noooope, not to my knowledge
Him: Are you sure?
He sends so many mixed signals. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but he's asked me about who I'm seeing in the past. Or he'll ask about specific guys I know and call them my "boyfriend" in a teasing manner
I've always had an instinct that he had feelings for me, but he tries to cover it up. I was sitting kind of close to him on the couch after he made that remark. A dog jumped up so I had to move a little closer. But then when his roommates girl friend came over the house, he told me to "scoot over", which made it seem to me like he didn't want to give her the wrong impression? I'm not sure | Probably reading into his behavior too much, but so many weird signals have popped up over the years, followed by him being mean/rude. Any input? I know I should ask him, but I'm a little worried |
t3_1uusoq | relationships | Me [23M] having a hard time coping with girlfriend's [19F] new image. | Just moved to new town for new job. Met girl and liked her right away. She was very cute, very intelligent, she was perfect.
Well we have been dating for about a year now but about 6 months in she starts changing a little. As you do when you're young, I suppose, but this felt different. She started speaking with trashier language, hanging out with trashier friends, getting tattoos, she has probably put on 30 pounds in the year since started dating, even her hygiene went out the window. My once very cute girlfriend is now only showering once every other week, if that. I think this is all an influence from her friends as they all are burnouts with terrible hygiene.
On top of all that, the whole time she was telling me she was studying for grad school and was planning on going to college. BUT she let it slip around her friends one day that she never even finished high school. Which means all that time she said she was looking into schools and the GRE was spent sitting home, getting high and redditing.
All of this only gets more complicated when you add that she moved in with me when she was having problems at home. I am not used to dominant woman like this and don't really know how to handle it. My close friends from back home tell me I should dump her and that she's using me but I feel it's wrong to leave her now that we have a little rough patch. Also I really do like her. She's fun, incredibly sexy (when she does mind her hygiene), and she seems to really enjoy spending time with me.
Also, I am a little selfish in our relationship as I haven't made many friends yet here, since I usually spent all day at work and when I'm not there, my gf usually likes me to hang out with her and her friends. | GF is changing and going in a bad direction. I still like her a lot and feel bad about leaving her in a rough patch. |
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