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t3_3coc5s | tifu | TIFU by switching train lines at Bank | Ok so this happened yesterday (*gasp*).
I was at the Southbank centre yesterday, one of my siblings had a graduation there. After the ceremony ended my sibling decided to go out with his friends, which I didn't mind, but meant I had to go home by myself. What made matters worst was that I got a call from my mum, meaning I had to get home pretty fast. Unfortunately I live near Barking, which is on the outskirts of London (kind of) if any of you guys know the London Underground train map. Also getting to where I live from Southbank meant I had to go to Waterloo Stn, switch at Bank and take the District Line home. Now here's the fuckup:
I got off at Bank and then proceeded to follow the signs which point to where the District Line platform is. Fast forward like 15 minutes, I'm still following the signs in an underground station which is really hot and dehydration is taking effect on me (Note that I had no water and money on me, so I had no way of getting water). By the time I actually reach the platform I'm literally moments from collapsing from dehydration when the train arrives. I board the packed train and I had to endure the rest of the ride home, which is like 10 stops or so. One of the most worrying situations I've been in. | Rushed to get home without considering the distance from Waterloo line to District line at Bank. Almost collapsed at Train Station. |
t3_2lmz7m | relationship_advice | Boyfriend doesn't want sex anymore but still watches porn, and it's slowly killing our relationship | My boyfriend is 21 and I'm 20, been together a little over a year, and we live together. We used to have sex every day several times per day. Suddenly around five or six weeks ago he just didn't feel like it anymore. I've tried everything I can think of. I've tried initiating, I've been as sweet as I possibly can, I've made him food, I've rubbed his back, I try to do every little favor he asks, I've tried wearing sexy clothes, giving him oral, I've tried asking why he hasn't been up to it and the conversation never really goes past "I don't feel like it" or "I don't have any sex drive right now".
Tonight I was using his phone to look up an address and before I even typed anything a bunch of porn came up as his most recent searches. It just made my heart sink. I've been trying to keep my head up and convince myself it's not my fault, but I just don't know what to do any more. Sex is an incredibly important part of my relationships and it feels like we aren't even connected anymore. We still laugh and kiss and love each other, but I just don't understand why he doesn't want me anymore. It hurts so deeply. It makes me feel disgusting. I know I'm an attractive young woman, but not being wanted by even the person who loves you most in the world? How could I not feel horrible. I don't know if I want to continue this much longer.
Am I being irrational? Should I leave? What should I do? | boyfriend and I used to have constant sex, he hasn't wanted to in almost six weeks, but still watches porn. I feel horrible about everything. |
t3_uhj3r | loseit | So I am switching back from eating low carb... | It feels good to be back! My bf is still on the low carb diet for medical reasons and I started low carb to help him (misery loves company, etc). I was on it for almost 6 months and all I lost was 20-25 lbs total and it was too strict for me (my bf loves savory foods so he loves the diet mostly). Though I'm happy I did it since I found foods that I can have on a low calorie diet as well (unsweetened almond milk, almond flour treats, flaxmeal low carb/calorie pita's and lavash bread around 100 calories each).
I'm going back to my older diet which was calorie cycling except I don't know what my calorie base should be. I'd usually bounce between 1100-1400 a week to keep my metabolism up but since I was eating around 1800-1900 I don't know where to start. | I'm off of a low carb diet and I'm going to start calorie cycling again but I don't know what my base calories should be. Any ideas? |
t3_vwj3a | relationships | Casually dating this girl for 7 months now, but she her close friends are all guys and I am uncomfortable with it. | I've been dating/seeing this girl for 7 months now and there are strong feelings involved. I'm 23 and she's 21.
The problem is that all her close friends are basically guys and something sexual happened with almost every single one of them. She slept with a couple of them once or twice EACH for "fun". One of these guys would come over to her house to hang out with her basically all the time. Another confessed his feelings for her, but when she rejected him, he got butt-hurt and said he didn't want to talk to her anymore (this was when we first started out). Recently, the same guy's been hanging out with her at the pool or at some events around town.
Worst part is that, I'm not her boyfriend. So I can't really say that I'm not comfortable with her hanging out with these guys so much.
What do I do? I don't even know if we'll ever get into a relationship, but it just frustrates me that she's around guys like that. | casually dating girl who has had sex with close guy friends that she still hangs out with. Not her boyfriend, can't say anything. |
t3_2so75z | relationships | I [25F] am tired of my husbands [29M] lack of concern | Hello there Reddit.
My husband and I have been married for a few months, together nearly three years and I'm contemplating leaving if not divorcing him. I'm turning to y'all for some unbiased advice.
I'm so sorry for the wall of text.
--My husband has a temper. A very bad temper. He'll throw tantrums when something doesn't work the way he wants it to or if he's mad. Recently he started throwing things and, to be honest, it scared the shit out of me. I honestly thought he was going to hit me. I've known this since we were dating and since we got married it's only gotten worse.
--He makes no effort to help me maintain our home. I can clean the entire house and he'll trash it. I'll do his laundry for him and instead of putting it up, he'll throw it on the floor. This shows me he doesn't appreciate the work I put into our home. We'll talk about it, he promises to do better and then doesn't.
--Our sex life is virtually nonexistent. We've had this issue for a while. We'll have a long talk about it (again), promises to improve then nothing.
--We'll have a serious discussion about our relationship and he'll act like nothing's wrong even going so far as to say I'm crazy or imagining things.
--I've suggested counseling. He refuses to go saying "if you want to go to counseling then we're already past the point of no return".
--He doesn't talk to me anymore. He'll spend all of his time online and when we're out to eat he'll just play on his phone. | I feel like I'm just in our relationship as an accessory and not as his wife. I'm tired of talking to him about our issues and him shrugging them off as if it doesn't matter. |
t3_4vvs2a | relationships | Me [26M] with my GF [22F] of 1 year in a bit of a rough patch need advice | I'm currently in medical school and in a long-distance relationship with my gf whom I've been dating for about a year. We don't get to see each other very often, so we video chat instead. I love this girl very much. She's one of the most kind, loving, hard-working, understanding persons I've ever met and I would marry her in a heartbeat. My parents have met her and love everything about her too, except for one thing - she doesn't want to finish college. Needless to say, she pretty upset over this because she feels my parents are saying she's not good enough when that is not the case. I've heard both my parents' POV and my gf's POV on this, but I am so conflicted on what to do because while I think my parents made a good point, I don't want to force my gf into doing something she doesn't want to do. We've both cried a lot and lost sleep over this for the past few days. It seems like if I choose her, I'll lose my parents, but I love my parents and they have sacrificed so much to support me and get me where I am, I can't just do that. On the other hand, she's one of the most amazing girls I've ever met and I love her immensely and I am just terrified of losing her. I need some advice, r/relationships. | Parents said gf needs a bachelor's degree to be ok with us marrying, gf doesn't know if she wants to finish college. Both of us afraid to lose the other. Help! |
t3_kxh4y | AskReddit | What are some gentle ways to help an open-minded Creationist learn more about Evolution? | Hey Reddit, first date with a Derpina last night. The conversation was going great, until religion came up--she believes in Intelligent Design.
I dug a little deeper: turns out she went to a Lutheran high school, where she said "they taught us about evolution, and then they taught us why it's wrong". That was her only exposure to evolution, ever, so she maintains some strong doubts (e.g.: she believes that the oldest rocks on Earth are only 150,000 years old, therefore the fossil record is meaningless, therefore evolution is just a theory). However, she's aware of the bias of her teachers, so she is very open to learning more, she just doesn't know where to start.
So are there any good websites or books that explain evolution in an non-confrontational way, that would allow her to gently realize that she was lied to in high school without feeling like her beliefs are being attacked? I don't want to be on the offensive with this, since we've only had one date.
For the record, closed-minded creationism would probably be a dealbreaker for me, but since she is so open-minded about it, I'd like to give it a shot. | First date with a creationist, but she has an open mind, so I want to give her a non-confrontational (i.e. not anti-religion) way to learn about evolution.**** |
t3_k7px0 | Pets | New Cockatiel HELP!!! | I just bought a cockatiel yesterday, sex unknown but he (I'm just going to say the bird is a male just to make is easier to write this) was born 5-30-11. So he is a very young bird, only about three months old. He is super friendly and a little vocal, but not overly vocal. I built a cage for him that is 16" wide by 16" long by 28" high, so it is a tall cage. There are a lot of perches, a cuttle bone, food, water, a treat bar, and a couple of toys he can chew on. As far as I know, he looks very healthy. Alert, eyes bright. However, he just sits on the bottom of the cage. I put a bowl of water and food on the bottom of the cage also. I have done my research and I know that it is not good for a bird to sit on the bottom of its cage all day. But, when he was in the store they had an enclosure that was all glass and the birds essentially sat on the floor of the case, with only one branch to climb on. Could it be that he is just not used to climbing up a cage with bars? He is super clumsy and his wings are clipped so maybe he just doesn't have enough balance to climb up the cage. Has anyone else had experience with a new bird like this? I just want to make sure he is healthy. Is the cage too small maybe? I just was wondering if anyone else has had experience purchasing a bird from a pet store that basically only lived in a glass case and sat on the floor all day, and then doesn't like to climb the bars of his new cage? | I just bought a three month old cockatiel and all he does is sit at the bottom of the cage. Is he just not used to climbing up a cage or is something wrong with him??? |
t3_2v799r | relationships | I [35M] was sexually abused as a child, should I tell my wife?[33 F] | I have always been very reserved when it comes to sex. I don't like to talk about it, keep things simple, etc...
Well, after 10ish years of marriage, I have been trying to really open up sexually toward here. Her interest and experience has always been a lot higher than mine. But she has always accepted how I am toward the subject.
Anyway, this opening up has brought back a lot of memories as a child. I never really thought about the things that happened. I guess part of me thought it was normal...or maybe I just blocked it out. But an older teen "friend" [male] used to do explicit sexual things with me when I was 6/7 years old.
I have NEVER told anyone about it. In all these years, no one knows about it.
With her being my wife, I feel I should tell her about it. But like I said, I have never told anyone before and we have been together 10 years now. So I am unsure if I should tell her or not.
I am also out of town and not sure if it is something that should be shared over the phone or in person.
I am just a little confused on what I should do. | I was sexually abused as a child and never shared it with anyone before, now I don't know if I should tell my wife about it. |
t3_1318up | relationships | My girlfriend [26f] has no manners and it's | My girlfriend and I have a fairly decent, average, relationship with about one exception. Her manners are so bad that I'm embarrassed every time we eat with friends/family and I'm starting to get frustrated even when it's just her and I to the point where I have a hard time being "normal" around her eating.
I'm not a picky person by any means and in general am very tolerant of people who don't do things "my way" but after three years of listening to her chew with her mouth open, bite her fork/spoon when she takes a bite, play with her food, and shovel it into her mouth bit by bit I'm about at my wits end. I certainly don't expect royal manners or anything of that variety but I am slowly realizing that general manners are a must in my relationship.
I know the old adage of "just talk to her" (we really do talk about almost everything, very open) but I have a particularly hard time, I think, because I feel like it's not my responsibility to coach her in proper social manners. It feels a bit father-like and I get the "its not my job to teach her manners" every time I consider talking about it. It's the details that get to me, is it best to try and train her in every nuance that makes up good manners ("don't bite your fork, don't chew with your mouth open, don't pick at your food with your fingers") or should I just generally say "you need to work on your manners" and hope that she gets it?
It's not just her eating habits, she seems to have been taught very few social manners but I thought it best to start here and see if I can figure out an easy way to approach such a topic. | Girlfriend and I have a fairly healthy relationship but she lacks very basic manners and it's really starting to get to me. I have no idea how to successfully approach her and discuss it because I feel strange taking that role. |
t3_4w96r3 | relationships | I [23F] have a classmate [27F] that absolutely hates me, but also wants to be friends (possibly nsfw language) | There's a girl in my masters program that has been making my life incredibly difficult. This wouldn't be an issue if she left it at that, but she can't seem to decide whether she hates me or wants to be best friends. Since day one she decided she did not like me. She would call me a bitch in front of professors, constantly call me out when I'm not even interacting with her, and consistently made me feel bad about myself. She's attractive and pretty fit, I'm kind of on the scrawny side, and yet she frequently would tell me I don't know what it's like to have difficulties, because I'm thin. I tried to make the situation better by inviting her out one day, and the first thing she said to me when we met up was "you know what really pisses me off about you? You've probably never had to take public transportation and everything was always so easy for you." This really hurt, because I try so hard to appear as if everything is okay on the outside, but I have PTSD from an abusive childhood and some pretty anxiety. Since then, she continues to call me a bitch, says really mean things to me, but asks to hang out all the time. Last week she told me "not to talk to her like that" and then the next day invited me to a girls night she's hosting. I've politely declined her attempts to hang out after pushing things too far a few times, but yet she still tries to be my friend. I'm so confused and don't know how to respond to someone like this. | classmate consistently calls me a bitch and is mean to me, but keeps trying to hang out with me even though I continue to decline. |
t3_f1947 | AskReddit | Reddit, my family and I have $15,000 and two weeks to spend towards travel anywhere this summer. Where should we go, and why? | My mom's extended family owns a business that sold a number of its assets late last year, landing our family with an extra $15,000. As they already have secure investments, and currently donate a good portion of the household income to a variety of charitable organizations, my parents have decided it might be high time for a family vacation this summer. We have not traveled abroad in a few years, so we are quite excited with the prospect!
After much thrilled discussion, we have decided that we want to travel someplace we have never been before - this means that we cannot travel to these countries:
* United States
* Canada
* France
* Italy
* Japan
* Singapore
* Philippines
* Indonesia
* Malaysia
* Sri Lanka
* Maldives
* Cambodia
* SAR of Hong Kong
* Australia
These are the places currently on our shortlist, but our discussions have rendered the list highly volatile. Any suggestions and recommendations for places to be added/dropped/changed on this list are very much appreciated!
* Tunisia
* Crimea
* Croatia
* Sardinia
* Messenia
* Montenegro
* Danube | If you had $15,000 to spend on two weeks' worth of travel, where would you go, and why? |
t3_1wczqh | relationships | I [19 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 4 months, am worried that I may be basing too much on feeling. | I met my girlfriend through my work, we don't work directly, back in the beginning of September and started dating the 1st of October. I have a bad past with girls, I've been intimate with quiet a few but never had a real relationship like this. I knew this girl was a keeper and special and decided I needed to change of few things in order for her and me to work (like how I view girls, be able to work through lows in a relationship, how a relationship works, etc) and she's made those changes for me very easy. This relationship I have with her is how a relationship should be and I love it.
She's been with two guys before me, only had sex with one (this first guy ended up being a coke addict and the second cheated on her). She's girl who can be happy forever with one guy, she doesn't need multiple. She treats me amazingly and we make each other laugh and are inseparable.
We don't really talk about our pasts, we do know about them though and she's accepted mine, even though it's a bad rep of a past. I just don't like thinking that she's had sex before me, now I know how she feels when she thinks of mine. The images I get of them two but, I know it was the past, I wasn't there, she didn't know me then. Is this normal to feel? To not like thinking of your SO and their past partners?
Also, is it normal to not have butterflies every time they're around? I know relationships shouldn't be based on feelings 100%, but how do I stop? There'll be times when I do get giddy when I see her and when I'm around her but, it's not every time. Is this normal? Am I just over thinking it? | Worried that I don't have the "butterflies" every time I'm with my girlfriend. Basing things too much on feelings. How do I stop? |
t3_50pqwd | Dogtraining | Help! Crate training... again. | My border collie/ lab mix Seamus is now almost 11 months old. We have had him since he was about 4 months old. Crate training him was SUPER easy. So easy that we really didn't have to do anything to train him. He loved his crate and we didn't have a problem until this past month. When we moved out of our 1 bedroom apartment into a 3 bedroom duplex. In the one bedroom we had his crate in the corner of the living room because it was the only way we could have it in there (we got a HUGE crate not knowing how big he would get).
When we first moved in we had him in the spare bedroom because we were still trying to get things organized. We knew he would probably be stressed from all the moving around so we expected some difficulties. He may be spent 3 days in that room. Since then he has had 3 weeks back in his crate which is in the living room. Every night is a struggle. There has been less whining when he first goes in at the start of the night, but he has been waking up in the middle of the night/early morning and barking. He does not stop barking. Just constant. It's usually somewhere between 2-4 AM. We tried just letting him bark till he tires himself out, but that just doesn't work at that hour. We don't want to let him out because we feel like that is reinforcing bad behavior. We usually go out and give him a "No Barking" command, and he might stop or he might not. Any other tips? | Pup was great in the crate before move. Now a total cry baby at 4 AM. How to make it stop. |
t3_1becas | relationships | When a guy says "you're the best"... | I (22 F) met someone at work (a customer, 28 M) who has knocked my socks off, and for whom I am falling very rapidly, if it isn't done already. We have spent the majority of the last 5 weeks together and keep in touch by text all day typically.
For the last day and a half he's had a bad sick migraine, which has compelled him to sleep excessively and not talk to me much. Okay, I get and respect that and am not freaking out.
About an hour ago though while I knew he was up I asked a couple of diagnostic questions, having done research on how to make the migraine go away. He answered my questions and we didn't really reach a solution, but he thanked me for looking into it, and told me "You're the best".
And now I'm the OAGirl freaking out because that sounds so effing platonic. Guys mainly: Should I be concerned? | Guy who has seemed so smitten with me suddenly addressed me as a friend, according to my vernacular. I now feel anxious and bad in general. |
t3_pudud | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, Whats your most embarassing childhood memory? | When I was 14, I was friends with this family down the street, nice mom, dad had recently moved out, Cute daughter a year older than me. So the mom calls my house and asks if I can come over and help her move some stuff (heavy, leftover man stuff). I go and help her. In the midst of lifting some boxes full of old sports memorabilia I decide this fart thats been making my ass pucker for a solid ten minutes is going to come out no matter what i do to stop it. I excuse myself to the bathroom, barely make it in before the mouth of hell opens in my pants. Shit...everywhere... Get to the toilet to let the lasts droplets of brown rain cascade into the bowl. Sweating, pants full of diarrhea, I focus my saving grace, the toilet paper... WTF no tp! ok boxers off, find dry spot, wipe. feeling better. Realize I cant go back out there to face mom and daughter. Out the first floor window. Full, squishing sprint back to my house. Never heard back from them. | Helped a kind neighbor move some divorce memories, diarrhea'd my jeans, wiped with boxers, squish-sprinted home, never heard from them again :( |
t3_3yiq41 | relationships | Is my [27 M] expectations for girlfriend [29 F] of five years too high? Am I being unreasonable? | I'm naturally cynical and paranoid about absolutely everything in my life so I am hoping for some perspective I simply can't get elsewhere before I talk to Jane, which I know will be incredibly difficult.
I'm feeling lately that besides sharing the same bed and Netflix account, there's not much going on in our relationship. I suppose the most annoying thing recently is that there has been pretty much no intimacy, no support for my career progression (my latest includes moving yet again) and in five years my partner still has not gotten her license.
The license thing has always been a problem (Jane's shifts and mine are very different, yet I am often expected to drive Jane to work) and I felt kind of hurt she did not seem to appreciate the effort I put in driving her to see her family this holiday (~1700km of driving). Most infuriatingly it is being used as an argument against moving to a new town for a great job because "There's no public transport there, I would not be able to get around" (we lived there previously, we managed just fine).
To be fair to Jane, she does cook and clean (although begrudgingly) which I feel makes up for me having to drive her around some, and me making more and working more hours. I just wish she would be considerate of my career goals and be more encouraging - especially considering she expects so much (for me to have more money, for us to have a house, etc) when she contributes little financially.
Am I a shitty person for expecting her to follow me around when I am pursuing a better job (would involve her being out of work, and us struggling on my income while she job hunted)?
Am I a shitty person for demand she either skills up for better work, or at least adopts a better attitude for household things?
Added context:
* We met online (Reddit, hence the throwaway)
* Jane moved twice for me (once to be with me, then to a city)
* We are both introverted people, with no real non-work friends
* I am pursuing a professional career, Jane works part time
* We both have issues with anxiety and depression | Annoyed at girlfriend's lack of ambition or any drive to be more independent, whilst not supporting my career goals despite having none of her own. |
t3_352ae0 | legaladvice | Minor car accident, owners of car hit may be trying to commit insurance fraud. Advice? (UK) | Hi /r/legaladvice ,
A couple days ago I was pulling out of a parking space in front of my house. I had been blocked in by my neighbors, and while manuevering I accidentally grazed their front right bumper with the rear side door of my car. Thier car is damaged cosmetically, as is mine. Their damage is literally a 5cm ish scratch on the bumper. Damage to my car is worse.
The relatives of the owner saw it happen and took my details. The owner got in contact, and said they've informed their insurance company (i have done the same). Personally, I doubt the damage is worth the excess you would have to pay, not for such a minor scratch. For the more major scratch on mine it isn't worth it, so...
Regardless, my insurance company is calling me saying its strange as they haven't heard from the other insurer yet. And despite having seen them drive around, today the car I hit was being towed away.
There is absolutely one hundred percent no way there is more damage than that scratch. And now, to have it towed away? I'm expecting that the next thing will be our insurers informing us they are claiming for more damages.
I have photo's of everything from the time of the accident, so hopefully I am covered, but, is there anything at all I can do to protect myself? Oh, and I have a witness who was inside my car as a passenger at the time.
I know I may be jumping to conclusions, and hey, lets hope I am and they get their car fixed, and I just get higher premiums next year. But, yeah, anyone able to offer any advice?
Thank you. | I hit a car, minor scratch, they've been driving the car fine for a few days, but suddenly had it towed and I'm expecting they will claim I damaged it more than I did. |
t3_1xpro3 | relationships | I'm [24 F] moving in with my boyfriend [29 M] of a year and could use some advice! | Hi! I hope this is the right subreddit for this, as it's not really a "problem" but just something I'd really love some advice on. I've been dating my guy for about a year and we just decided to get a place together. Things are really wonderful between us and I'm so excited, but a little nervous as well! I've never lived with one of my boyfriends before and I don't want things to turn sour over something small or petty that could have easily been worked out w/ good communication ahead of time.
For example I almost never watch TV but he loves it and will probably buy some crazy expensive cable package—would it be reasonable for me to not want to help pay for it? If not, what's a good compromise? Stuff like that. What're some things we should definitely figure out beforehand, and what's a good way to bring up the discussion in the first place? Thank you! | my boyfriend and I are moving in together after dating about a year, what are some things we can talk about before we do to help things go smoothly? |
t3_135d6e | dating_advice | [17/F] Does my friend [17/M] like me back? Help! | I've recently told one of my friends that I like him, and he said that he'd stop flirting with other girls cause he knows how much it hurts to see someone you like flirt with someone else. One of my friends told me that this was a hint that he likes me but I'm not so sure.
This is what he's like around me=
We know what turns each other on, and in college he quite often does it to me.
We usually cuddle if we're watching something. And once he slept round mine and we shared a bed together, we didn't doing anything though apart from feeling each other up a bit and cuddling.
He gets jealous when I sit on other lads laps and if they sit on me, yet he says he doesn't like me cuddling him when he does sit on my knee and he hardly ever lets me sit on him.
I really don't know what to make of him and his mixed messages but surely if he liked me he'd have asked me out as he knows I like him wouldn't he? Do you think he likes me? How do I deal with the situation? Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with it?
Your opinion would really be appriciated! | My friend knows I like him yet continues to show me mixed messages. Does how he's acting tell you if he like me or not? How do I deal with the situation? I'm clueless!!! |
t3_1nqngo | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] She's happy but I'm not and I don't want to hurt her. | We are both 18 and this is my first serious relationship, we have been dating for just under a year. Her and her parents do not get along and so she moved out, with no place to stay I spoke with my mother about her moving in with us. She moved in about 4 months into our which was fine. It was odd at first, we adjusted.
I am almost positive she has cheated on me with a co-worker, we met at work, every we work seems to think she did but I had no real conclusive evidence so I put it behind me. They still talk on occasion and it truthfully still haunts me, I never actually believe her.
For the past 2 months or so I have becoming more and more unhappy with our relationship not even because of the possible cheating. I am certain I want to end the relationship but I don't know how or when to do it, I still care about her. I love her but I am not in love with her.
Here's the kicker, when she was 15 she was raped and she is just coming out about it to her family, she even went to the police. He wound up making bail. He is essentially going to prison for sure as they have a confession from him when she called him and tricked him into admitting it. With all of this going on I don't want to throw her off the deep end. I don't want to lead her on either. What do I do? | Girlfriend is in a fragile state. I'm sure I want to end it but I don't know how or when. |
t3_2dj016 | Advice | Mother had an affair. I don't want to go back to a broken family and a broken life. | I'm in high school. I've been taking classes online for a long time, so me and my mom both work from home. We're both clearly depressed - for different reasons. I've been depressed because of lack of a social life identify issues (trans), anxiety, etc, and she's depressed because she's a workaholic, grieving (husband loss), growing old etc.
My stepdad (basically my dad as I've known him most my childhood) works away from home. He works in the city and lives in a hotel room and comes home on the weekends. Apparently, my mom had been having an affair with a guy (I'll call him Mr. Stranger) she met through her job. The neighbors found out when Mr. Stranger came when I was not home. The neighbors told my dad and he flipped out, got my mom fired somehow, and dragged her to his hotel room in the city. (isn't that strange?)
I don't know everything because this all happened while I am at a house in another state visiting friends. (I took the train) To be honest, I've always liked it better here (my parents are intimidating and would not help me seek mental treatment, not to mention the bullying that they did as they are narcissists)
I have a place to stay here and I'm trying to work out the logistics of food, school transferring, clothes, etc. but I can't help but wonder if I'm too young for this. I will be staying with some other parents whom I know well but it's very complicated. | I'm trying to move away because I don't want to go back to a broken, depressive hotel room. Can I make this move? |
t3_1bvvm2 | BreakUps | realizing how badly i was treated sometimes but my feelings are still there | i (m18) have slowly been realizing someways my ex (f18) was treating me, i'm slowling realizing that i was so naive, all the bad ways in which she treated me or slowly but surely coming into my mind, but i still have feelings for her, she dumped me almost 2 months ago, and told me a week later that she was interested in one of my good friends (i don't see him as a friend anymore and they avoid me and i avoid them)
anyways things have come to my mind, such as her insulting me once when she basically asked me why i wasn't more like him and another time when we were joking around about somethings and she made a comment that he was insecure about his dick size
honestly, i can't stand that she did and said these two things, i hate her for doing them and i just still have feelings towards her
i really really just want to get over her but she keeps coming back into my mind argghhh
this week i'm gonna try asking a girl that i've seen at the gym at my school if she wants to hang out a bit afterwards (there is this time where everyone doesn't have classes), i just need a new friend, because all my friends are really good friends with my ex and ex-friend too so i basically can't hang out with any of my good friends anymore because of them
i really need to get over her, my school grades are suffering because of everything
anyways, i just want a new friend because i think it's going to help me get over my ex
sorry for the rant guys | I still have feelings for my ex even though I'm realizing how badly she's treated me. I just want to get over her and will do anything I can to do so. |
t3_3vj10j | relationships | [18F] My boyfriend [20M] is way hotter than me. I'm afraid he'll get bored of me... | I've been dating this guy 4 months now. This is my first relationship ever and everything is going great between us.
Problem is, I'd say my looks are 3/10 and his 8/10. Given his charisma and charm, he could have any girl he wants, why does he pick me? I'm kinda ugly and have shitty personality although I 'clicked' with him.
People are always judgmental. My friends have asked me "how did I got him" and similar questions that just lowered my low self esteem. His friends think I'm ugly and he's crazy, although my boyfriend denied it when I asked him what his friends think of me (I know it's a lie). Everything is so perfect when we're alone.
I actually talked to him about this. He told me I'm beautiful and that he doesn't care what others think. He says he's never been so attracted to someone which I find hard to believe...
I'm afraid he'll get bored of me. In a few months or years, he may realize he can get someone better.
And I hate being looked over, feeling inadequate. I think I can't take this anymore... | Bf is better than me, (most of) his friends hate me. I can't handle these feelings anymore. Should I break up? |
t3_26fz2h | relationships | Does my [21/F] boyfriend [25/M] compliment me too much? Does it indicate that he just loves the idea of me? | We've been together a couple of months and he always compliments me, usually more generic stuff, but a variety: pretty, sexy, beautiful, smart, kind... It goes on. He also gives more thought out compliments, but less often. To an extent this makes me feel good, but because they're so often I'm also wondering if he's just in love with the idea of me. He seems to think I'm think perfect woman, so I'm worried that he's going to snap out of it and realize that I'm not. Are guys ever this romantic naturally?
That being said, he's the most genuine guy I've ever met and he's radically honest. I know he never (well, rarely probably - he is human) says things that he doesn't mean. When he texts them it's hard for them to seem genuine, but when it's in person it's very clear that he means every word. It's just hard for me to take them at face value because I'm so used to the idea that if a guy showers you with compliments, it means that the guy is after something. But we've had sex and all that jazz, so I don't think there's anything left to be after.
If he is being genuine, is it a sign that he thinks too highly of me too soon? Is this level of infatuation dangerous for a relationship? I think he's the bee's knees and I plan on staying with him for as long as possible, but I'm worried that one day he'll wake up and realize that I'm not all he says I am. | Boyfriend compliments me all the time. I think he's genuine, but does it mean that he just loves the idea of me? Is this much infatuation bad/unrealistic for a healthy relationship? |
t3_y1ah4 | AskReddit | What is a funny/embarrassing/awesome childhood memory that you have that you will never forget? I'll start | When I was 9 my parents signed me up for little league baseball so I thought I would give it a shot. In the city where i grew up you tried out and then you were put onto a team depending on your skill level. Instead of placing me in a league with my age group, I was placed in the 11 year old league (because I'm a boss). These kids were much bigger than me and could throw faster and hit harder. Anyways, I'm a couple games into the season and I'm doing well and actually enjoying playing. Then it happened, I'm up to bat in one of my games and the pitcher hit me right in the head with the pitch! I had my helmet on but it still hurt.. I was 9.. I had a pretty bad temper as a kid so I threw my helmet and the bat at the pitcher (neither of them hit him) and then I charged the mound. My dad grabbed me halfway to the mound and carried me to 1st base. The umpire didn't kick me out even though all of the parents were yelling to throw me out.. After that game no one really talked to me and they just stared at me during games and practices.. | In little league baseball i threw my bat and helmet at the pitcher and charged the mound because he hit me with a pitch in the head |
t3_39g3b5 | offmychest | Almost got the girl of my dreams, and messed it up... twice... | So yeah, when I got into the school Im in right now, there was this girl in my class, pretty, smart, played piano/gitare. Anyway, we got together and everything was sunshine, but then I needit to go to the hospital, I had this thing for years where over weeks Id would get headaches stomach pain and I would puke ect. some nasty shit that... So I was getting sick missed school ect. and then people started saying that I was faking all of this and she broke up with me, over Facebook, while I was in the hospital... I dont blame her she just belived what she heard and I was never there... Well that was bad, but I got better and came back to school ect. (I had almost no social life at that point and started gaming ect.) Well fastforward about 3 years maybe? I still got sick but it was getting better (I dont know why or what I had so yeah...) We started to talk again and began to talk and hit it off and sutch, then we saw "The Theory of Everything" in class and we sat next to each other and that was going well and talked and shit, (Also yes I realize this may sound like im reading into something thats not there, Im not, I think...) Well after the movie we all went home and since we had the same way we went together, and everything was going awesome and when she said good bye the made a huging motion, and you know how your brain just doesent realize whats going on for a second? yeah well that happend... I hugged her awkwardly one arm around shoulder one around waist, yeah, It was pretty bad... on unrelated note I got depression soon after that (not because of that) and started missing school again... That was around 9 months ago maybe? Still haunts me, the "What could have been" ya know? | Got together with dream girl, I get sick, she dumps me. FFW to present, we hit it of, I fuck it up... |
t3_1lp7hf | relationships | Me[21M] with my girlfriend [24F] want to get married and she wants me to convert just for the wedding. Together 2 years. | My girlfriend and I want to get married. We were planning on doing so in November. It will be a courthouse wedding, just me and her. However, in addition to the courthouse wedding, she really wants a big wedding in her home country later on but in order to do so, I need to convert to Islam. Her reasons for wanting this second wedding, if you like, are:
* it's what she always dreamed of
* her parents would be really upset if she doesn't have it because she is their only daughter and she will be leaving them to join me on the other side of the world so in her words, "the least we can do is give them this wedding they want for me"
* her family won't be able to attend our courthouse wedding so she wants the wedding so her family can see her get married.
For her, it's just a formality like buying a dress in order for the wedding to occur. She doesn't care whether I practise it or not. She is worried that if I don't convert and the wedding she wanted doesnt happen that this will start the marriage off on a bad footing with her family.
I'm reading up about it but wanted to hear your advice. | Getting married. Girlfriend wants a second wedding but I would need to convert for it. Not sure if I should. |
t3_3mxpme | relationships | Me [17 M] with my 'friend' group (all) [17 M] 1 year, my friends kinda really suck but I'm scared to move on. | I moved to a new town last year and I quickly found a group that I thought would be good friends and at the time they seemed to be good, but over the summer I realized they really suck and now I don't really know what to do. There's a lot of things I've come to realize that I'll just quickly list off.
They never invite me to do things, I need to specifically ask.
Even then they'll often make up bullshit excuses as to why I can't come.
I'm constantly the butt of jokes. Then make fun of me if I try to defend myself. Saying that I should man up and take it. But if I make a joke about them they all defend the target of my joke even if it's not the least bit mean.
When I told them something personal they all just laughed at me and then proceeded to tell other people. Luckily it wasn't something damaging and no one really cares.
If I criticize one of them over anything even sarcastically they all flip out but they frequently tell me to just stop trying because I'm bad at something.
And finally when I hung out with someone [17 F] (just friends) while I was vacationing around July (Camping by a lake in Idaho) who I had met for the first time on that vacation she made me feel better and more welcome in the first couple days of knowing her than these fuckers had all year. This is when I really realized I need to change something. | My friends are terrible, never invite me to do things and make fun of me constantly but I'm afraid to move on. |
t3_2s0ymw | tifu | TIFU by getting a bloody nose... | So this happened a week and a half ago or sometime around New Year's and thought this would just be another story to tell because I didn't think it was long enough for a TIFU, but a friend thought otherwise so here you go:
So, remember when you were in elementary school and how every other week someone got a nose bleed, lost a tooth, or something like that? Well I never got a nose bleed, not just then but even when I was a small baby child. At the time I was worried because I was thinking that I was freakishly different-- you know, also having also not lost a tooth yet (I didn't lose one for another two years and wound up swallowing it, but that's not important).
Fast forward maybe 10 or 11 years-- I'm 16 now. So I'm singing a Green Day song at about 10 or so at night while putting up my jacket. Then all of a sudden blood starting coming out of my face, and having never experienced more than a drop of blood coming out, I started flipping out. Eventually, I get help from the family and the sink has a good amount of blood in it (I was also singing My Chemical Romance's "Blood" while this happened if that makes anyone happier), but everything has calmed down for the most part.
Being the work freak that I am, I know I have to go back to work on my oldish laptop (mistakes 1 and 2-- going to work and using a laptop). So I'm lying down, working, and then my nose gets tickled by the tissues up my nose. Not knowing what to do for the incoming sneeze, I leave them in there, because that could only stop the sneeze, right? (Mistake 3)
Instead of trying to block the sneeze because blood on my arm doesn't sound appealing, I just more-or-less sit there, pausing on the work. Then I sneeze. The tissue in my nose? That didn't block anything; it just made a narrow passage for all the blood to get shot through there. All over my laptop.
I'm laughing at my bloody laptop with my now partially red keyboard and screen while typing an essay about the assassination of JFK. Ah, good times. | I had my first nosebleed, sneezed on my laptop while typing an essay of the assassination of JFK. |
t3_3mot75 | legaladvice | NC - Real estate: Transfer of ownership to actual owner (a family member) | I bought a house in cash a few years ago but because I was still legally married to my ex asked my mother to put her name on the house instead of mine to avoid my ex's poor finance history potentially putting my asset at risk. Of course, I realize now that this probably wasn't the best choice (could have had him sign a free trade agreement) but, nonetheless, here we stand.
I would like to have the house in my name now, and am wondering if there is a way to do so with out having to pay gift taxes, etc.
Potentially relevant information:
-The house was a foreclosure and was purchased for just under 40K
-I put about 20k into improvements in the house since it was purchased about 3 years ago. (It's now worth 80-95k, depending on which realtor you ask)
-I took out a personal loan for 30k on the house from my grandfather which my mother paid for when he passed away. Therefore, I owe my mother 30k on the house which I intend to repay by taking out a loan on the house after it's in my name. (Could this fact potentially allow her to transfer the house to me with out gifting it to me somehow - maybe if I added my name and allowed her to file a mortgage)
-The house is currently being rented out. | What is the best way to transfer ownership of a house back to me that I purchased with my money but put in my mother's name at time of purchase? |
t3_oa913 | AskReddit | Can anyone suggest a PDF editor that can do simple page manipulations? (xpost from r/Mac) | I just bought a Nook (the original one, black and white without touchscreen capabilities) to help me get through the extensive reading I have to do as a college student. Most of my reading, though, is assigned as PDFs, usually with two pages of a book scanned to make one landscape-oriented PDF page. The Nook won't turn these PDFs into landscape view (as far as I can tell), which makes them damn hard to read, and I'm trying to find a way to either 1) efficiently cut, re-size, or re-orient the PDFs in a way that will stick, or 2) make them readable on the nook by converting to text or something.
I've tried several increasingly-sketchy PDF editors and have even tried copying/cutting/pasting the documents by hand* and then merging them, but these articles can be 40 scanned pages (i.e. 80 real pages) long and that's not practical. I use a Mac, but I do have access to Windows-friendly computers so even that would be helpful.
*not ACTUALLY by hand with paper and scissors, but y'know, with Word and Paint. | I need to cut pages of PDFs in half, then rotate them 90 degrees. Any program (preferably for a Mac) that can help?*** |
t3_3vhnzk | relationships | Me [30 F] with my husband [28 M] 2 years, brother in law is a scumbag | My husband's brother is a bully to him and while my husband doesn't like it he forgets after a few months and the cycle begins again because "they're family".
Some things my brother in law has done is steal money right from his wallet, he has borrowed money repeatedly with every excuse not to pay it back until it's forgiven, and he tries to get my husband to partake in drinking and drugging in very aggressive ways.
I don't want to be a controlling wife but I can't stand this guy and what he does to my husband. He has no morals, no life goals is an alcoholic but the family ties keep my husband from shutting him out.
Last time I expressed my concern my husband got upset at me and defended his brother. Has anyone had a situation like this and how do you handle it peacefully? | Lowlife brother in law keeps coming around to take advantage of my husband. My husband forgives, it happens again. How to break the cycle? |
t3_37tohd | relationships | Me [22 M] saw dreamgirl in fb group of future classmates | Hi
I'm a normal Student and have a kind of odd question. Please don't laugh at me or make fun of me .
I finished my undergrad 1 year ago and will now do my postgrad . This university has set up a fb group so that you can already meet your future classmates and have a chit chat and so.
Now this might sound childish but I fancy one of my class mates so much that i already imagine my whole life with her- seriously she's like a 10/10, on her fb profile i saw that we share so many interests, have worked in the same industry and are even aiming for the same industry. Furtheron this girl seems to have all the qualities i search for in a future wife ( from her fb profile).
I know this all must sound super childish, and one should not expect this kind of behaviour from a postgraduate but I am still going to ask this super childish question:
Is there anything I can do to grasp her attention ( now or at university?) I am a shy student whose biggest achievement is getting into this university, while this girl has men liking and flirting all the time with her ( at least on fb). I have also only had one girlfriend, and she did the first step towards me( so i'm a complete noob in talking or grasping the attention of women). I already tried to do some "small talk" on fb, but her answers were quite short ( as in "leave me alone").
Guide me fellow redditors as I really want to get to know this stunning creature.
Thanks. | So in short how do I grasp the attention of a future 10/10 classmate even though I am just an average bloke? Is there anything I already can do? |
t3_2ct7s0 | relationships | [F/18] Blindsided with a breakup text, help/advice or similar stories of heartbreak give it all to me. | Boyfriend of 8 months, both going to college, already decided we're going to break up right before we go. It's one week until we leave, and when I ask to hang out or go to his house he dodges (sick, eye appointment, shopping) but he still says "Hey love..." and all that shit so I believe him.
Work up the courage to call him out on his dodging but remind him that I still love him, he sends this text "Let's not drag it out." Call him, doesn't answer. Tearsxbillion, rage hate and hurt pride 1fireballofemotions.jpg
We were going to break up in ONE WEEK. And I have to see him Friday because we're both part of a club and they have a mandatory meeting.
Should I just skip? If I do, I know he will laugh and have fun with my friends who are in the club while I'm stuck heartbroken at home. Give me your heartbreak/advice reddit. | Boyfriend blindsided me with a breakup and broke my heart. Have to face him friday. Please give advice/care. |
t3_3kch1s | tifu | TIFU by poisoning a homeless person | TIFU by poisoning a homeless person. Accidentally.
You know the saying, "no good deed goes unpunished"? It's true.
I live in Texas. We have some phenomenal tacos. And with such an abundance of taco options, sometimes you catch a desire to branch out. I was leaving a lunch at this small taco place in south Austin (I won't name names) after some delightful tacos al pastor.
A homeless man approached. He said, "Could you please buy me a taco? I don't want money. I am a veteran and I am very hungry." Life has smiled onto me lately and I thought I could help. We went back inside and he ordered. He happened to order the exact same tacos as me. I paid, and thought nothing more of it.
That was, until about 8 hours later when my stomach turned inside out and my intestines liquified. For the next 12 hours, I was Old Faithful, but instead of beautiful prismatic geyser water, I was a muddy river teeming with salmonella. Only through the deft nursing abilities of my lovely lady-friend (pedialyte, Soup Peddler smoothies, and ginger ale) was I able to return to a functional, yet fragile form.
But you know who didn't have a nurse on standby? You know who didn't have reprieve from the hot summer sun? You know who didn't have money for smoothies and Canada Dry? Yah. That poor homeless man. I pray he didn't get the same vile batch of poison pork. | Ate the three little piggies in taco form. The big bad wolf blew my insides up. No saying how the homeless man who shared the meal got out alive... |
t3_3dq32y | relationships | I [F19] stayed at a friends house the night my boyfriend [M19] got home from a trip. He's angry at me... Advice | My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months. Recently he went away for 4 weeks for this study program and he got back three days ago. During the time he was away we would dirty talk on the phone and stuff. He would tell me all of the things he was going to do to me when he got back.
The night he got back we pretty much went straight to the bedroom. So we had sex and he only lasted probably 30 seconds. He offered to go down on me, but I said no. I wanted to have sex. It was frustrating because I waited 4 weeks and he built it up so much. I was frustrated, sexually and otherwise, so I left and stayed at my friends house for the night.
Now he's giving me the cold shoulder. I realise it was stupid of me to do that, especially since he just got home and everything but it's done now. I came home the next day and tried to apologize but he wasn't having it. It's been three days and he's still barely speaking to me. I've tried to sit down with him and talk but he says he's busy and avoids it. He's never been this angry with me and I'm not sure what to do.. | I [F19] stayed at a friends house the night my boyfriend [M19] got home from a trip. He's angry at me... Advice |
t3_2a0e72 | relationships | I [22M] found out my SO [21F] is lying to me | We're in long distance relationship and usually see each others every other weekend. We used to date few years back when we lived in same city until I had to move away to study. Half a year ago we got back to talking and decided to try out if we could get this long distance thing to work.
Anyways few weeks back on Friday evening we were chatting on Skype when she got phone call. She muted Skype as she usually does when answering phone calls, I've never really paid too much attention to that. She told me it was her brother who was coming to visit the city and told she would be gone for the night.
This morning I decided to log my Facebook which has been deactivated for past 3 years. Browsed people I used to hang out with in high school, who had baby and who was studying to be doctor. Then I checked my SO's profile page and saw there picture of her and her ex from that night she said she'd be with her brother.
Okay could be they just bumped into each others so why not just ask how the night went from her.. so she came online to Skype few hours later and we small talked all this daily stuff. Then I asked her how was her night with her brother earlier and she said they just went to movies and straight to her parents place from there.. I asked if they visit any nightclubs or saw anyone else. She just said no and I brought up the picture. She immediately told that I have no reason to stalk her and follow her goings (wtf?). I said I'm just curious but she decided to change subject and shortly after logged off.
So now I'm here sitting and thinking the worst which for me feels the most obvious. What to do? Should I call her or wait her to come clean? I really have no idea how to handle this now. | girlfriend told she'd spend night with her brother. It seems she spent it with her ex and now blames me for stalking her after finding out |
t3_2pxz3i | relationship_advice | What did I do wrong? [18/M] (18/F) | So, I like this girl. It all started about a week ago. I messaged her on facebook saying "Hey, long time"
We go on for about 10 minutes, then she asks, are you busy on Tuesday? And she invited me to her recital, so I go. And I was going to bring her flowers, but I was afraid I didn't have enough time.
So, I tell her, and she says, awww, that's so cute. A couple days later, I don't have any school, due to it being cancelled, so I wake up, to her messaging me, asking if I could walk her to the bus stop, so I do. I compliment her, we talk for a bit, goes well. I hug her good bye (she forced it).
She comes over last night, with her friend, uninvited, so I let them in anyway. She holds my hands and says how soft they are, I respond saying "uhh okay" And she says "I really like them!" Her friend says "You know she likes you too" She responds saying "What? Noooooooo"
I just pass it off, and we continue watching the movie.
Today, I messaged her on facebook saying I wanted to ask her something in person, whenever. And she says I can't tomorrow or monday, because I'm hanging out with my boyfriend.
It just came out of no where, never once when we talked did she mention a boyfriend. I just told her to forget about it. I gave up another girl I liked, for her. Fu**. | Girl I liked, we hung out, talked a lot, she never mentions boyfriend, I go to ask her out, and she says out of no where that she has one. Lost of what to do. |
t3_tpmni | Parenting | Having difficulties with my 13 year old, need advice. | First time mother here looking for some advice. My son has always been what I would consider a "high needs" child, but lately I've been feeling very frazzled with him and kind of at the end of my rope. We've had a few problems develop over the past few months that I'm not quite sure are entirely normal or how to remedy them.
Firstly, he has taken to biting. A lot. Almost compulsively. I know that hair pulling, hitting, etc. are normal at his age, but his biting behavior is very unusual. I've never seen another baby do it. He does bite when he's frustrated with me or upset, but even when he is going about his business playing or checking things out, he will suddenly stop and run over to me and start biting at my knees or fingers. If I attempt to stop him he just keeps trying until I physically detach myself from him. If he isn't biting at me, he'll often stop to bite our mattress or the couch, anything soft enough to not hurt him. My first guess would have been teething but he isn't as far as I can tell, and it's been going on for a while and escalating with time. He doesn't do this with anyone else.
The second that he absolutely does not listen to me at all. I mean, I know, he's 13 months old. But he minds his grandmother and father as well as you could expect. On the other hand, if I try to tell him "no" to playing with a forbidden item or to stop hitting me, etc. he will either ignore me entirely or laugh at me quite hysterically and ramp up his behavior. I feel like this is normal, but it's frustrating beyond all explanation that I'm the only one he does this with, and I have no idea of how to fix it. | 13 month old is obsessively biting me and will not listen to me what-so-ever, and does not exhibit these behaviors with anyone else. |
t3_38r24o | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [20 F] 4 years, Doesn't try anymore | Evening ladies and gents. As of the last 4-5 months, I have finished my college finally and am on the track of finding a job anyway i can. Accepting any kind of work no matter the challenges it provides. While the pickings are slim I get by with small jobs here and there.
My GF on the other hand, hasn't started college, pretends to look for a job maybe once or twice a month and if i bring it up, she gets upset and accuses me of being uncaring and the such.
In 9 days time a Job that I feel like i have a really good chance of getting might be falling into my lap while staying in my field and while she's happy about this, she hasn't tried to find anything like a job or college since i mentioned it.
I love her more than anything in the world and I hate to see her cry but I was taught growing up that a coupe takes two and if we are going to have any chance of living together, we'll both need to do something.
How can I get through to her that she needs to have a job or at least go to college before I let her move in? | I'm getting a job, she doesn't want to but still wants my support, don't know how to respond to her in a kind but firm way |
t3_1ezctz | BreakUps | My (34m) ex (34f) has depression and is getting ready to sign divorce papers. | My wife asked me for a divorce about 3 years ago. We handled our separation very amicably and have remained friends. In a couple of weeks, I will be visiting her as she wants to talk before signing the divorce papers (I signed a few months ago already). I know she regrets ending our relationship but I have moved on.
My concern is that she has a history of depression. I am a very happy person and have completely moved on yet I found the signing of the papers to be really upsetting so I can't even imagine what it must be like for her. I plan on telling her that it's just a piece of paper and we will still care for each other after everything is signed.
Only recently did we have an argument over everything. My point was that this was what she wanted and she probably only regrets it because things didn't turn out the way she hoped. She said that it was the depression that made her ask for a divorce in the first place and that I'm unreasonable because I can't forgive one mistake. Of course, I do not want to go down that path again.
I guess what I would like is some advice on how to make her feel at peace with everything. I want her to know that I still care for her yet know that it is over for sure. Despite being married for years, I've never really known how to handle her depression so I would always remain silent and wait for it to pass. In this case though, there is no avoiding it.
Thanks in advance | Ex is getting ready to sign divorce papers (I already have) and she has a history of depression which I have always been clueless on how to navigate. I want to minimize the amount of depression that may occur. |
t3_4wqceb | relationships | I [23M] don't know what to advice my sister [18F] | Yesterday we talked with about her boyfriend and visiting him. Some background. They have a pretty big farm and they usually work pretty much all day with breaks for lunch and dinner.
So everytime my sister comes there she works with them and it's exhausting for her. She grew up on farm aswell but due to circumstances farm is no more which means not that much work.
Work habits aren't problem here.
She talked with him about that but he doesn't understands that. He expects that she will get used to it.
So cause of that everytime he asks her to come she's looking for excuses not to come. If she would told him the truth why not he'd get grumpy saying why would she even come next time and similar things. She doesn't see any positive thing visiting him except spending time with him (not working at farm)
They have been together for almost 2 years now. | My sister is visiting boyfriend, they work on farm whole day, she's exhausted. She talked with him about it. |
t3_2i0ka1 | relationships | Bear with me...I've 24(f) recently started dating my 21(f) roommate after breaking up with my 25(m) bf..At a loss for how to proceed | So, before I get the influx of "you're an idiot" responses, let me tell you that I know, this is a terrible position to be in and I shouldn't be seeing my roommate...That being said, I really like this girl (I'll call her Amelia) and I think she likes me as well.
It kind of started off as a drunken hookup, but I started to develop feelings for her pretty quickly. She does seem a lot younger than myself in a few respects, but she also has an air about her that seems much more mature.
Amelia's the first woman that I've ever been with and we've only had sex once (with our schedules and the other roommate in the house, we mostly just make out and sleep together) I've hinted at wanting something more but haven't made that move, sober, yet. Amelia's been in a couple of relationships with women before, so she knows the drill, so to speak.
Whenever we go out, I find myself initiating the plans of where to go, but she almost always makes the first move romantically, which gives me hope that she actually digs me.
I really can see myself falling for her, and I would really like to date her, but it seems like there are so many obstacles in the way...Should I even bother pursuing this? I really don't want to make things weird in the house or get hurt... | I've started dating my female roommate but don't think she knows how much I actually like her. Should I risk the friendship/house vibe and tell her I want to be exclusive? |
t3_4hfbou | relationships | My [21 F] dad [45 M] has lived in another state than me for 10 years, is an alcoholic, and wants to keep in touch and stay close. I'm concerned that this relationship will exacerbate my own mental issues. | My parents got divorced when I was young and I left the state my dad lives in when I was about 10-11. My dad has apparently been extremely hurt by this and blames his current anxiety and depression on my leaving with my siblings to live with my mom.
I, however, don't believe most of his 'issues' are true, especially after visiting him recently and seeing his 'issues' firsthand. He also claims to have PTSD. I've stayed at a mental health facility for a while, and I know that mental health problems manifest in different ways, but it's clear to me that his aren't completely real and are more of an excuse for him to ... not succeed in his life.
I gave him advice and tried to get him help while I visited, but he hasn't taken it. He's a burden on the rest of my family in that state and has been for years. Now, he wants me to visit more frequently and to talk to me all the time. Now that I know his game, so to speak, I'm fed up with him and I don't want to worry about him any longer. I know that he won't get help unless he wants it for himself and I can't influence that anymore than I already have. I've given up.
I also know that his attempts at a closer relationship are harming my current state of mind. I'm happier/more content now than I have been in years, but I realize this state is fragile and requires constant vigilance. I'm worried that contact with my dad will upset my current balance.
What should I do about this? Should I maintain contact? Or somehow let him know that I'd prefer to cut contact- at least until he has helped himself? (And I mean for real, which I'm not sure how to verify. He's a known liar/manipulator, problems I've inherited.) | My estranged father with (alleged) depression/anxiety and PTSD wants to maintain contact and grow our relationship. I'm worried this will interfere with my journey away from my mental issues. What do I do? |
t3_3jxflp | relationships | I [21M] found out that my SO [18F] of 3 years has recently been having feelings for a friend amidst us talking about engagement | I lent my spare phone to my SO while hers was being repaired, and she returned it to me yesterday. I unlocked it to play with it before wiping it, and a [post] to /r/relationships came up that sounded eerily like the situation that we are in. I also saw that she had notifications for replies to this post, which confirmed that she was the author. In this post she reveals that she has developed feelings for a friend of hers.
Regardless of what other things are going on, I can't figure out how to reconcile that information with her recent actions.
See, she suggested the day before that we book a hotel room for the night because my apartment is small and doesn't have a good bed, and she can't have me in her dorm. It's kind of out of character for her to be so forward with her sexual desires, but I chalked it up to starting college and giving less fucks about the opinions of those around her.
[I also made a post] about our current situation, if more detail is needed.
I'm stuck, and I don't know what to think about all this. | After accidental snooping, I found out that she has feelings for someone else, even though we had been talking about engagement, and working through some tough problems. |
t3_hj5iu | loseit | Did I mention I kick ass? | Tuesday is personal training at work. It's actually a group class, but they call it personal training, I don't know why. Anyway, class is at 1:00pm. I got an email from one of the other people in the class saying she was missing today's session, as was the other woman in the group, so if I went it would just be me! Solo! With the trainer! Which sounded hard. Argh. What to do? Yeah, I went. Kicked ass.
After class, I got on the treadmill and started walking. Thought "hmmm, maybe I'll just run a minute." Ran a minute. Walked for a bit. Thought "hmmm, I guess I have time, I should do C25K week 1 day 1 again." Did it. Kicked ass.
I just can't believe the change in myself from a few weeks ago. I look forward to exercise, and I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. | Did a PT session followed by a C25K workout. Didn't know my body could do all that! I just felt the need to brag somewhere, this seemed like the right place! |
t3_4q6v2v | relationships | Me [32M/F] with my lifelong problem with fantasies. | I have a wierd problem that is so pervasive that I don't know how to deal with it. I try but I can never shake it and I feel like it holds me back.
I live in a constant fantasy world. I can't listen to music in earphones without fantasizing about being the person who made it, for example. I have in-depth long term fantasies with multiple characters and links into pop culture.
I know these are fantasies, I'm not delusional, but I feel like it saps me of my ambition. I fantasize instead of following through on things I should be doing.
When I feel sad about something, I fantasize about people knowing sad and how they would react. I do this thoughtlessly. It is my natural reaction to almost any situation. I spent half an hour today imagining my wife's friends reaction if I could box. That is embarrassing..
I really want to stop. How do I go about this? | I have a pervasive problem with fantasizing about everything including people's reactions to things I could do, usually something good. |
t3_100znd | dating_advice | Am I being played? 21f & 24m | So started seeing new guy, and it's all going great. We hang out, things are moving slowly but surely, and I'm liking him more and more. We talk about all kinds of things, both serious and light.
He mentioned in passing he was going to hang out with a girl he'd previously briefly dated, for maybe a few weeks. When I casually asked who she was, he answered, and volunteered info I didn't ask for, and seemed to answer why he chose not to date her. It all made sense, and I figured I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then, before he hung out with her, he practically stated where we stood, not asked, and asked me if I was a jealous type. I didn't think anything of it at the time, and it sparked another conversation about various things that I'd thought gone well but ended abruptly.
Now looking back, I'm wondering if he was testing the waters and I'm being played. If going slow is his answer to dating around without disclosing that things aren't exclusive with anyone, and he's got a physical relationship with someone else.
If it turns out that I'm a second woman, or he's just hopping around hoping to find something better, in which case it hints that he might one day do that to me, I believe I'd be heartbroken. Someone I never looked twice at at first now has my complete attention, I'm developing feelings and trying not to scare him off, and I think he might be two timing me. Any advice? | New guy has said some stuff that I'm afraid means he's shopping around and I'm simply one of many, and with new feelings I'm worried I'll be heartbroken if he doesn't pick me. Any advice? |
t3_4s3xrc | relationships | SO (F20) on family vacation for two weeks. I (M22) I can't say I miss her. | We've been together for 4 years, living together close to a year. So far, It's about to reach the week 1 mark of her trip, and honestly, I don't really miss her. Is there something wrong with that? She asked me if I missed her, and I'm a really bad liar, so I just told her the truth and said not really. Not let's make it clear, I made it a point to not say it like I didn't give a shit, but she didn't take that response very well anyway, but that's honestly how I feel. I'm just not worried about it, idk. When she is here, we are pretty around each other all of the time. Thoughts? | gf on vacation. I don't miss her. She's upset. Is that a bad thing that I don't? |
t3_16lpyp | AskReddit | To those that love their own flatulance, | If someone was to be unconscious and pass gas in a closed setting, after coming-to would they be sensually offended by the smell of their own gas? Not knowing that they were the producer of the scent, would it make a difference?
Let us be honest with ourselves, many of us either: do not mind our own gas, or enjoy the smell of our own posterior gaseous productions. We are simply self-conscious towards this action because to others' senses this is offensive, and thus socially taboo. Yet in our individual spaces, or in locations we are personally comfortable with, we hold no restrictions towards the stench that we as all humans produce.
To stimulate further thought: are there other chemically egocentric traits that we have which are universal (occuring in most, or all, humans), which those who are not the producer might find offensive? This is my key point. | Would you be offended by your own fart if you didn't know you were the one who farted, i.e. an unconscious person upon awakening? |
t3_2g9jpq | relationship_advice | Me [27m] my wife [31f], shift working and personal time problems.... | Hi, I started my job 2 years ago and I work 12hours 4 days shifts, so basically I live from weekend to weekend, and i t leaves me two or three hours on the weekdays to spend time with my wife.
Since we meet (7years ago) we've been always been together, I gave up playing guitar and videogames just to be with here...
But now there are days when I just want to play soccer, or guitar for a couples of hours one day a week, but every time o do it, o get either a remorse that I'm not spending time with her, or she just get angry with me for not being with her.
For example, I bought back my guitar and in a 1 year period I probably have played it 4 times and played soccer twice, not kidding. So my questions is that this is normal, I'm not entitled to my own personal time once in a while? I'm being selfish because of it? Or can I guilt free get 2 hours just for me once a weekend every month? | I work shift hours, barely spend time with my wife on weekdays and on weekends sometimes I want 2 or 3 just for me, but I feel guilty and she gets upset, is this normal? I'm being selfish? |
t3_3d7bzj | Advice | Is this a cold sore? Have had before but this is a small string of painless bumps that hasn't gone away in a month. | I've had cold sores in the past but had gone on a lucky 3-year streak without.
I felt what I thought was the tingle and used Abreeva as I have in the past. Next day there was a small string of what I thought would grow to be the normal fever blister. Luckily, they remained small and painless (pic here -- completely unlike cold sore experiences in the past.
Now 4+ weeks have passed and they're still there. I did a digital dr. visit yesterday and got a 1-dose rx of Valtrex which I took yesterday. I really want this gone asap -- even without the normal cosmetic woes, dealing with the paranoia of spreading is awful. Can anyone advise if this is a cold sore and if there's anything to be done with one that's lingered for a month? | Small row of bumps that I'm unsure if is a cold sore ( due to lack of severity (size/pain) and duration (1 month+) - could this be something else? |
t3_3k255m | tifu | TIFU by throwing away my lottery tickets | Being that today was a holiday I decided to go all out and get myself something to go at my favorite thai place and some scratchers. I rarely play, I just kind of like the feeling of the possibility of being rich, imagining the things I'd do with the money and such. So I like to savor it. I put the tickets in my to-go bag and saved them for the end of the night. I ate my meal, binge-watched some Halt and Catch Fire, and then I suddenly realized it was trash night. I live on a property with 6 or so different residences all competing for the same goddamn trashcan so I gathered everything and booked it, because last week my bag didn't even fit. When my neighbors heard the cans being pushed out to the curb they got the same idea and from the safety of my studio I heard them piling their trash on top of mine.
It was at that moment that I realized I fucked up.
My goddamn tickets! I ran out to the can and it was too late. The trash was piled high. I considered just letting them go, but I had let my dream of 3 supermodel girlfriends and a boat get to my head. So I put my shirt over my nose and started digging. When I found my bag it was... wet, with something foul. I gagged a lot as I tore it open. Of course half the bag was full of spent kleenex and that wasn't fun to sift through either. Anyway, I did finally find them and rushed back to my studio and took a shower.
Result? $45. Off $10 in scratchers. So basically my dinner was free. But in a way it feels like I dug it out of the garbage like a homeless man. | Threw out my scratchers. Dug through a mountain of garbage to save my supermodel girlfriends and my boat. All I got was this stupid t-shirt. |
t3_vl9bs | Parenting | Baby-Proof android tablet. | I am going to get an android tablet for my 7 month old son.
Now, before I get any backlash of parents who say this isn't a good idea, I will also add that I'm a game developer, and will be making him his own custom games/toys in accordance with what I know of developmental psychology, and am doing this from a standpoint of creating enriching applications for his education, not distraction.
If a Xylophone is considered a good toy, surly a Xylophone application isn't going to rot his brain. I'd also like preempt any additional criticism I may receive about the importance of interacting with psychical objects in the development of hand-eye coordination. Rest assured, we're very active in exposing him to opportunities to experience different objects, textures, and he will continue to receive a copious amount of physical toy playtime.
Disclaimers aside, all of my research indicates that early music-education is very good for the brain, and that's the first app I intend to build. A baby-friendly musical instrument that can make pleasant noises and images even in absence of fine motor-control, and I will continue to make age-appropriate toys/games as he gets older.
Anyway, I'm looking for a tablet-solution for this purpose. | What I want is a water-proof tablet, with a gorilla-glass display covering, and some parental-control software [something like this] to make the tablet baby proof. |
t3_3mt7jx | dating_advice | Haven't even made out with a girl in over a year | Here goes,
I'm 26 years old, almost 27. I have a job where I earn a decent wage. I have lots of friends of all different sorts and socialize quite well under normal circumstances.
I wouldn't say that I'm a 10 or anything, but I think I'm a pretty attractive guy as far as average dudes go. I'm a little short, (5'10",) a little skinny, (135lbs,) but I'm fit, fairly healthy, and well spoken.
I prefer to be more of a supporting role in social situations, but I can maintain the attention of the room if no one else seems to be taking the lead.
This all being said, I'm extremely insecure about trying to take the next step with women. When conversation turns flirtatious, I get nervous and deflect to something less intense in nature automatically. Just the thought of speaking to a woman in any suggestive way, even if she initiates it, seems trite and classless to me. I know that it's human nature to flirt, but it makes me so uncomfortable that I freeze up in a way. I just always feel like I'm going to get laughed at, or the woman will be offended by my advances, like at some point, I'm going to take it too far and look like an ass.
I still ask women out on occasion, usually women I already know, but it rarely results in a date as they always seem to be unavailable for one reason or another. I'm smart enough to realize that it's probably my lack of confidence that is getting in my way, I realize that is a big issue, but I have no idea how to get over it. | Great in social situations until it comes to flirting. I freeze up, deflect, and have no idea how to get over it. |
t3_2xijx8 | relationships | Me [20 F] with my BF [22 M] of a year. I think he is sabotaging my career. | I'm a college student as is my BF and we've both been going steady for a while now. I sometimes help a friend of mine with modeling gigs and it makes for some good money on the side.
But recently I realized my BF is not happy about it. How do I know? I have a sneaking suspicion that he decided not to pass on a message left to me by my friend. My friend comes up to me a few weeks later and tells me he was disappointed that I missed the photo shoot and I was surprised. I hadn't heard a thing and my friend said he left a message with my BF. So I can only conclude that this is what is going on.
What do I do? How do I deal with this? | I have a very strong suspicion that my BF is jealous of me pursuing some modeling gig on the side. And he might have actually sabotaged my good friend's attempt to set me up with something. |
t3_32f0iz | relationships | I[22f] had a brief romantic relationship with a family friend[28m] which I ended when I discovered he had a girlfriend[28f](now ex-gf), but not sure how to proceed or interact with his family now. | A family friend of mine started messaging me about 3 months ago, and it evolved into an emotional, long distance relationship. During the week he came to visit, I received a facebook message from a girl who claimed to be his now ex-girlfriend who had apparently found his and my texts in his phone and thus broken up with him. She sent me evidence (screenshots of texts, etc) and her story checked out (they had apparently been dating for 1.5 years, of which the last 6 months were long distance).
After gathering the evidence she gave me, I gave him the chance to explain himself, to no avail. After denying having dated anyone for the past 3 years, he finally told me the truth when I explicitly confronted him about his ex-girlfriend and his cheating (thus making me the 'other woman' uggh :/).
Anyway, he and I have since cut off contact and I do not plan on speaking to him again. However, his parents and my parents are in business together, and I'm friends with his younger brother [25m]. How do I go about the situation? His parents knew he and I were trying long distance but clearly don't know why we broke up. His brother didn't know we were talking at all. I don't want to cause family drama or anything, but I can already sense that he has told his brother a twisted version of the truth. If the issue ever comes up, do I tell the truth? Do I hold my tongue?
I'll be making a greater effort to not see his family often, but I'll inevitably see them from time to time (our friend community is close-knit) and I have no ill will toward his parents or brother.
If it helps, everyone involved is Indian lol. | 3-month long relationship with family friend ended when I found out he had a girlfriend and was two-timing both of us. Do I ever tell his brother (my friend) the truth or do I just hold my tongue? |
t3_37n8op | relationships | Me [20 M] with my gf [21 F] duration, parents disapprove heavily, how do I cope? | To give background, I am from an Indian family, and my parents immigrated to America 25 years ago. I grew up here.
So I told my parents today about my girlfriend of 10 months, and pretty much what I expected to happen happened. Here's a summary of what they said:
- This goes against our culture
- You're not financially independent, thus you can't be in a relationship
- Break it off with her until you're able to be financially independent
I don't know what to do. I'm about to be a 3rd year in college, so I have a long ways to go for financial independence.I would almost have rather they disown me and kick me out than leave me in this limbo state. I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend, I love her, but they don't understand this, and I don't know how to just move on from this.
Does anyone have any advice as to what to say or do? I don't want to have to feel like being at home is an agonizing thing because they keep harping on it. | Indian parents disapprove of gf, want me to break up with. What should I do to make them understand/ get them off my back. |
t3_2celwj | relationships | (17F) Very confused about ex boyfriend and what his deal is (17M) | So we'd been together for a year and a half and everything seemed to be pretty good, minor disagreements were rare and we were still very much in love (or so I thought)
We broke up in February and managed to only bump into each other twice until now.
I realised it was no use thinking about him and I started to move myself on. I found an amazing boy who thinks I'm a star but the ex wasn't happy AT ALL.
He texted me at 1am after a mutual friend told him I had moved onto the new (almost perfect) boy. He said he missed me and couldn't bear to see me with anyone else... then I found out the next day he asked another girl (with the same name as me) to be his girlfriend!?!? Who does that?
He was so unfair to do that but now I can't stop thinking about him :( | ex boyfriend said he wanted me back after finding out i'd moved on, then asked a different girl with the same name as me out the next day.. kinda want him back :(* |
t3_3olx84 | travel | Going to Germany & Italy and I have questions about wi-fi usage... | My wife and I will have little use for a phone as we do the tourist thing out there. I thought I would just be able to use wi-fi (where available, obviously) to stay connected.
She called our carrier (AT&T) and they told her that she'd need to get an AT&T Passport plan to use wi-fi and that sounded off to me as I've NEVER heard of needing such a thing...
I did a bit of research and it's sounding like AT&T Passport works with AT&T Hotspots, so it seems like they are just trying to sell us on more AT&T stuff, but I just want to be sure. Hearing something as strange as this has thrown my confidence about it all into question.
Has anyone had experience with this? Let a brotha know. | I can just use regular-@$$ wi-fi in Germany & Italy, right? Thanks guys. |
t3_2pfh5k | relationships | Roommates [20Fs] all decided to move out without telling me at the end of our lease. How do we live together for the next few months? | My 3 roommates and I (all 20) are all in college and have been friends since high school (6 years). We have lived together for two years. Recently, our landlord asked us if we'd be renewing our lease for another year. I brought this up a couple times over our group text before a roommate decided to drop a bomb on me. Previously we'd talked about living together until graduation. Then, my roommate "Alex" informed me that her doctor says living with my dog is aggravating her allergies, so she can't live with me anymore. Alex also owns a cat that is equally bad for her allergies, but whatever. She also tells me that she asked another of our roommates, "Jen" to move out with her when the lease is up. Jen agreed to this, and they're living together next year. I asked if our third roommate, "Laura" new about this, and Alex avoided answering me. So it sounds like Alex also asked Laura if she wanted to move out with Jen and Alex, but Laura opted to move in with a friend, which she also did not tell me until I asked Laura specifically if she was moving.
So, I'm pissed. My roommates have known for at least several weeks, if not more, that they weren't going to live with me. They actively avoided answering questions about our living arrangements, despite me asking. Now, I'm stuck with no roommates and a large dog who it's difficult to move with because of dog policies for renters. I'm super frustrated that they'd kept this from me for so long because most of my other friends have already signed leases, so I'm high and dry and don't know where I'll be living next year. Unfortunately, I'm still living with my current roommates for the next several months. They seem to think its no big deal and have not expressed any indication that going behind my back like this was wrong. Obviously I don't want to be pissed at them for months to come, but how do I handle this? | roommates surprised me by all telling me in one day that they're moving out. I have no backup plan and I'm pissed. How do I keep living with them? |
t3_2ywbyb | relationships | My (23F) SO (23M) of 2 months, we're in love but he's terrified, anything I can do to help? | Hello r/relationships!
I met my SO, Kyle, on tinder. Yes I know, but it worked out amazingly for us. He's the most amazing man and although it is soon, we are madly in love.
Here lies the problem. I have been in one long term relationship before, which lasted for almost 4 years and ended in August. Kyle's longest relationship lasted for 1.5 years when he was about 18, and so he was in the dating/hookup scene mostly before he met me. I know it's very soon, but we have both expressed to each other that we can see each other being together for the rest of our lives. I have every intention of getting married to this man in a couple of years, and he returns these feelings. And I would like to point out I'm not the one who initially expressed this, it was him. However, a part of him is absolutely terrified of a long term relationship because he's entering entirely new territory. He constantly worries that he isn't good enough for me and that he isn't being a good enough boyfriend.
I love this man, and I tell him constantly how much he means to me and how lucky I am to have him, but I can tell he's not buying it. He is an absolutely stunning human being, inside and out, and I'm worried he's idolizing me too much in his mind and that is what's scaring him. I've told him time and time again that I am not going anywhere but I feel like a part of him worries that if he fucks up I'm going to run.
Ladies and gents, is there anything I can do to help him be less scared? He's not balking on our relationship in any way and has made it clear how much I mean to him, but I really want to help him through this. | SO is scared of a long term relationship because it's new territory for him and he worries about keeping me around. How can I reassure him I'm not going anywhere and help him be less scared? |
t3_3ik0ut | relationships | Me [m,19] and best friend [f,20]. Longtime friends + I'm occasionally in love with her + I'm almost 100% sure she's not interested = unhealthy friendship thing. Help me please! | So I met her in when I was a freshman in highschool. She was a sophomore, and for whatever reason, I fell for her pretty hard. My friends, upon finding out, pressured me to confess my love to her (we were already low-level friends at the time) which my young, naive self unfortunately did. It went poorly, and honestly she didn't really take me very seriously.
But we remained friends likely because of proximity and still enjoying being around each other enough. Our friendship continued to grow steadily and I guess I figured I would be able to suppress the feelings I had and it would be no problem. Sometimes I could/can, and other times I can't. We grew closer and closer over the next several years even after she finished high school, messaging almost daily. So now she is starting her sophomore year in college and I am starting my freshman (at a university nowhere near her).
It's not even that I like her, per se, but that I can't not like her. Like, I don't think of her as the girl I like. But because my old feelings could never really be squelched due to how close we kept each other, as well as all that comes with being so close to someone of the opposite attraction, I still have feelings for her, no matter how much I try not to.
All that to say I'm in quite a pickle. I feel the relationship is unhealthy and emotionally draining for me for obvious reasons, but at the same time I'm very emotionally attached (and she to me, in her own way). Just cutting off the friendship would be extremely traumatic because she means so much to me, but I'm hurting myself. The option of trying to get with her, through long distance or otherwise, seems impossible due to our circumstances/aforementioned past experience. What do I do? | I'm a dude with a long running unhealthy friendship with my female best friend. I often find myself infatuated with her and I'm hurting but solving it seems impossible without hurting one or both of us. Help! |
t3_2s4kk9 | relationships | I (22M) met a girl (18F) while studying abroad and leaving soon | I am from Europe and currently in North America for study this year only. Met a beautiful girl and we enjoy spending time together and have been having a great time in all. We have been seeing each other for around 4 months, exclusive for 2.
I am her first partner and I feel she is getting more and more attached each day and it hurts us both that I will be leaving the country for good in 4-5 months time. We have sex regularly, and spend 1-2 days a week together when we are both not busy with work and other commitments. We text everyday and share a similar friendship group.
Due to her age, I can see there is a mild obsession with spending time with and around me. I really enjoy spending time with her and would stick (long-term relationship) around with her if were living in the same country.
A long distance relationship will most likely not work for us, although she does plan to study on her exchange year in my home country (starting September 2016 if she decides she still wants to study abroad then - this will only be 1 year where she will see me, before going home herself.
I have spoke to her briefly about the situation as we are both very aware of it and she said that she is extremely happy with what we have and we should just enjoy it now and deal with the consequences later.
Most recently she told me that she really really likes me and although shes never been happier in her life she knows it will end so badly when I go. This really hurt me as I knew it would get to this point where it would be too hard for her to deal with.
I feel bad for continuing the way we are. It will only get worse for her (and me!) if we strengthen our relationship over the next few months before I leave.
What are some steps I can take in order to lessen the harsh reality of what is ahead of us? | Met girl while on 1 year study abroad placement, feelings are strong and feel bad that it will only be harder if we continue our relationship until I leave (4 months). Help! |
t3_t99s8 | AskReddit | God Damn BUGS! Help please? | So, suffice to say I have some experience with roaches. Lived in an apartment complex that was infested with them - not our fault, btw, according to our neighbors it's been infested for years. Was so bad that Orkin gave up, partially because the apartment managers refused to let Orkin get inside the walls to get the real source.
Saved up some cash, managed to actually buy a home for me and my family. Spent a month at my my in-laws first to make sure we were bug-free, had a preemptive Orkin service done on the house, and finally moved in. And we were gloriously bug free.
Until now. The lurkers here may remember my other posts about us taking in our best friend and her children for a while. She brought roaches with her. And now we are infested. Again. DAMN IT.
We've been having Orkin out practically every damn week. We've been doing our best to keep things clean. We've even brought over my mother-in-law once a week to keep things as close to spotless as a family with a 6-month-old can. AND THE ROACHES KEEP COMING. | Used to live in roach-infested complex. Managed to get away, moved into actual house. Roach-free. Took in best friend and her kids. Roaches back with a vengeance. |
t3_3gcpvx | relationships | My (21m) girlfriend ( 21f ) of 2 years had sex with another guy while we were on a break. How do I get past this? | We decided a few months ago that we needed to take a break and are currently in the process of getting back together. Come to find out that she slept with another guy several times while we were apart, even though she promised me she wasn't going to see anyone else. We've talked it though and she knows that by breaking that promise she has violated my trust and I've made it very clear to her that she has to prove I can trust her before we can get back together, to which she has agreed to do whatever it takes to earn back my trust. I know that she didn't actually cheat on me since we were not together at the time. I love her and do still very much want to be with her but I'm still broken, every time I'm alone with my thoughts all I can think of is him fucking her and it makes me nauseous. I know that it's going to take some time but how do I get past this? | found out that my gf slept with another guy while we were on a break. Need help figuring out how to get the image out of my head. |
t3_3drmoi | relationships | I [20 M] think I have feelings for a woman [32 F], and don't know if I should act on it (we sleep together) | I met this woman over Craigslist as I was horny and wanted to lose my virginity. She was very welcoming. We had a nice night.
Now, we're both friends and we occasionally meet. We speak on the phone for about 30 minutes, 3-4 times a week. I enjoy talking to her.
When we meet, we sleep together, make out a lot. I really enjoy spending time with her; she does too as far as I know.
The only issue is that I'm 20, go to college; she's 30 something and has a job.
We never spoke about our feelings for each other, but we're pretty close and talk about personal stuff. She tells me about her problems with her friends; I tell her about mine regarding my parents.
My friends and family will never accept such relationship, but that doesn't bother me, as I live in America, and can cut them off if I *want* to.
I have very less feelings for her. These feelings just come up randomly and then I start missing her. They go away after sometime. I know its not a crush, I know I'm not n love with her. I don't want to hurt her at all. I can't seem to come to terms with myself about these feelings.
***She's not the type of woman I expect to end up with (physically), but she understands me a lot, which I know is important.***
Note: The sex is okay-ish. I always hoped for a more kinkier girl, but its very passionate with her. That's big plus in my book. She loves to cuddle – I'm a sucker for that.
I don't know what to do. These thoughts don't bother me all the time, but they do seem to pop up in my mind every once in a while.
Any help would be highly appreciated. | May have feelings for a woman who is 10+ years older to me. Don't want to hurt her by making a mistake. |
t3_j2dk1 | AskReddit | Catholic Schoolgirl Fantasy? | OK, AskReddit, I'm sure a lot of you would say that this belongs in /r/sex, but I'm fairly sure they would just say that as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, it's all good, so I'm asking you for a wider perspective.
I guess the Catholic Schoolgirl fantasy is pretty common, considering the availability of outfits at adult novelty stores, and my girlfriend was game when I mentioned it once before. The problem is, I don't want a slutty Haloween costume or stripper outfit for her, I want a fairly authentic school uniform. I'm no pedo, but the fantasy just doesn't involve strippers.
So the question is, would it be creepy for me to suggest something more authentic, or should I stick to outfits obviously designed for adults in the bedroom? Of course, I realize that she's the one I should be asking, but if you overwhelmingly call me out as a sicko, I'm not even going to bring it up with her. For what it's worth, we're both over 30, and she has children 10 & under. | Would I come across as a creep if I (30+ M) bought a real Catholic school uniform for sexytime with my (30+) GF? |
t3_3hm194 | relationships | My[22F] husbands cousin[22M] might have his foot amputated. How can I show support? | My husbands cousin is a diesel mechanic and had an accident at work yesterday. A coworker improperly lifted a semi-trailer and it fell, crushing every bone in his right foot. When we visited last night, he was howling in pain while nurses kept running to get the resident to up his medications.
The company owner paid for his mom and other family to fly out to see him and paid for a hotel for them. He's having surgery right now to see if the foot can be saved. There's a potential for amputation. He's a huge football and sports player so the family is nervous.
What can I do to show support? I'm wanting to make a big tray of muffins and pasta so that his visiting family can have something to eat. I'm sure they've been stressed to the point of improper nutrition. Other than that I'm not sure what I can do to make things a little easier. I've never experienced a family member having major surgery or illness. What should I be aware of during his recovery as well? | Any tips on what you've done or what you've had family do for you to help after major surgery would be appreciated. |
t3_278slf | relationships | Me [28F] with my boyfriend [24M] of 1.5 years, I broke up with him over marriage. Is that a valid fear? | I'll keep this short and to the point.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 1.5 years because we had different views on commitment and marriage. I have reasons that marriage is important to me, which he acknowledged. Unfortunately my ideal timeline moved much quicker than his. He couldn't see himself getting engaged until at least 4.5 years into the relationship (when he's in his late 20s), whereas I would expect to get engaged at 2.5 years at the latest. I think my main fear is investing again in another relationship that isn't going where I want it to go.
While I could say that deciding to get married at a certain age is arbitrary, I understand that he is young. So while he doesn't know what he is waiting to develop, I realize that it's valid to leave time open to change. -- I know I might seem impatient, but I've been terrible at dating. So I've been in back to back long term monogamous relationships that end up going nowhere. (In some cases I have ended it, but in my last relationship at the 3.5 year mark my boyfriend changed his mind.)
We agreed that our goals were different and neither one of us would be happy budging them, and so we split-- Despite loving each other very much. The main thing undermining our union was our inability to agree on our future, when it would be, and if we had one.
Was this a bad reason to break up? Is this important enough to end a good relationship over? I worry if I will find somebody that I can mesh with. | Broke up with my younger boyfriend because he couldn't commit to the idea of marriage in the future (or near future). Not sure if I broke up over a stupid reason. |
t3_356tma | relationships | I [25 F] am starting to bicker about plans with my boyfriend [27 M] to the point that I feel like this isn't working. | My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about nine months now. He is very to himself, has a small pool of friends and rarely goes out for fun. He also doesn't drink. I, on the other hand, have a large pool of friends, go out a lot, and am a social drinker. I suffer from anxiety and guilt issues and go to therapy for it so this may be an important fact.
Recently he told me that he feels like we don't spend enough "quality" time together. We see each other 2-4 times a week which includes spending the night. I try to spend every day he has off from work with him because those are our long days to do things together. I find that this is adequate, but he finds that when I come over after work that it isn't "quality" time because we are watching TV and then going to sleep.
Sometimes I say we are going to hang out and then forget that I have plans/tickets/reservations somewhere else (because I am very forgetful from my anxiety issues) and then he tells me that he's frustrated saying I would be over after work, but plans have changed. He also hates that I am not extremely prompt for when we have plans to be somewhere. He lives pretty far away and I have to get through traffic and travel to his home 85% of the time.
Another issue is that when I invite him out he consistently says "no" because we will be at a bar or restaurant and usually drinking. Now when I go out with my friends and don't invite him I get the response of "so you're not going to invite me out anymore?"
We bicker about this probably once a week now and it's really killing me. I am trying to balance my life with friends, school, work, and him and it's not working. I find that our different interests also play a role in this. I'm not really sure what to do anymore and could really use some advice. | Boyfriend and I are socially very different people and we are beginning to bicker about plans and how we spend time together. Really eating away at me. |
t3_1p3ibx | relationships | I [19 F] broke up with my bf [19 M] because I have feelings for someone else and now I'm not sure what to do. | So, I've had a crush on this guy I met in high school for three years. He always flirts with me and goes out of his to catch up with me but has never asked me out. Because of that I have dated other guys and I just broke up with my ex a couple of days ago because I realized that I still have really strong feelings for this other guy. I hung out with this other guy today and I was going to tell him how I really feel but chickened out. I'm afraid telling him how I feel will scare him away. Should I tell him how I feel? | Broke up with bf for another guy, don't know if I should share my feelings with the other guy. |
t3_3cagcm | relationship_advice | [26/m] Fighting for my crush [21/m] | Hey,
I think I need some advice on fighting.
I've had a crush on a guy for a few months now and for some time it looked rather good on us ending up together.
At some point, another guy [18/m] (I'll call him B) appeared and proceeded to make his moves on my crush, winning him over. I was very defensive about this, since I did not feel I had the right to interfere with my crushs decisions, even though he had feelings for me before. I just wanted him to be happy although that quickly proved not to be the case (see below).
Two months went by in which I -unsuccessfully- tried to get over him, still keeping him as a friend.
I never thought the two fitted and had the strong feeling, that B was hurting my crush emotionally since they were together (he started full on smoking again, for example), but I know very well that I cannot really trust my perception on any of this.
However, lately, I heard from most of our mutual friend that they don't think their relationship will last much longer and that they noticed him being unhappy/stressed out as well.
That, combined with the fact I really can't let him go even though I tried, lead to the decision to fight for him.
Now, I won't do anything to drive them apart. I really wouldn't have the right to (although, in retrospect that was exactly what B did) and it wouldn't really help either.
But I want to be present and, when their relationship ends, try to win him over myself.
Question is: What is the best way to do this? Any advice? | My crush has another boyfriend, everyone is expecting that relationship to end soon(ish), how to best get to him? |
t3_ymsaf | AskReddit | I beat my college's bookstore at their own game. Have you ever beat the system and came out a winner? | On my college's online bookstore they required a certain ISBN for US History II. I bought the "old" version of the book and on the first day of class the professor told us to buy the "new" version of the book, with the new ISBN.
I was like okay, I purchased my book for $15.00 used on half.com, the bookstore wants $30.00 to rent. Anyways, I went to the bookstore on campus to have a look to see what the difference was. THERE ISN'T ANY DIFFERENCE!!!
The only thing they did was put a label with the "new" ISBN over the "old" ISBN that is on the book.
This kind of ticked me off, but luckily, I did some research and found out I had the right book for the class.
So, have you ever beat the system and ended up having an advantage? | My college bookstore told US History II student that we needed a book with a certain ISBN. I had purchased the same book with different ISBN. Did some research and all my school did was put a label over the old ISBN. |
t3_3jiw6c | relationships | My friend [35F] has been receiving harassing emails and phonically for months. Today she received a letter. Handwriting possibly matches that of her BF [36M] of one year... | Bear with me on this one!
So, my friend Sarah met James one year ago. They started dating and he was pretty much living with her within a couple of months. They've had an up and down relationship, with many issues involving his ex. About six months ago, Sarah began receiving emails from 'Jumping Jack Flash', apparently proving that her BF was cheating etc. Basically, someone was trying to cause trouble.
Then the phone calls - it was actually her BF who was getting messages on his phone from an unknown male caller, telling him to 'get out of *location* or else'. Lots of threats, most of which were financial in nature.
Then they split for a while and the harassment stopped. They got back together. Today, she received a letter. The envelope was hand written, but the letter was typed. She said it reminded of someone's writing, then she pulled a sample of James's handwriting and one letter in particular (very distinctive) matched.
Now, I'm not sure if the person who wrote this deliberately tried to copy James's writing, or if it's coincidence, or if it's James himself... (why he would do this, I have no idea!).
So, my question is... What next? Does anyone know if there's a way of comparing the writing? I have samples I'd be happy to PM to anyone with knowledge of this kind of thing. I'm very concerned for my friend. If it IS James, he's obviously nuts and she needs to get the hell away from him.
ADDITIONAL INFO: She HAS gone to the police. She's waiting for them to visit her to discuss further.
I will update and will provide any further info as required. Thank you! | Friend receiving harassing emails/calls/letters. What to do? Where can we go to compare handwriting to that of a suspect? |
t3_1xc8d0 | Advice | So called "friends" always neglecting me; depressed because I have no friends. | So I'm friends with a few guys I've known since high school. We're all around 22-24 years old and usually we'll get together at one dude's house on the weekends, have a few beers play some fifa etc. I've always felt though, like the one in the back. They have their inside jokes and plain closeness that I've never had with any of them. I feel like a massive third wheel but on a larger scale since it's a bigger group (about 6-7 people).
Tonight I got a snapchat from one of them (perhaps by mistake) and it's a video of all of them at a bar celebrating one of the dude's birthdays. Basically, if I don't call/text them to see what's up that night, nobody will contact me first. Even sometimes I'll get no reply. If I mention it next time, they'll just blame it on me not having a facebook and not being aware of their events. Then when I don't hang out with them for a few weeks they act like they miss me and ask why I've disappeared.
I have bad history with one of the guys from a long time ago, and he influences the group greatly. He talks a lot of shit, he's also full of it. I feel like I'm the only one who realizes this since I've known him the longest. We're like passive enemies. We'll act cool around each other but we both secretly know we want to beat the other person's face in. Super ego inflated dude. Been this way for years.
Not sure if they realize/care that this does affect me psychologically and emotionally, I'm human too and when there's a void of social interaction it's going to mess with my head. I've known these guys for a really long time. In turn I don't know how to make new friends so I still hang out with them. I'm a generally nice guy, most of them would consider me smart and they've all told me so, but always in private. I feel like they're defensive of this fact so in turn they act like assholes.
Reddit, teach me how to friend? | My life long friends are generally passive about my existence and it probably makes no difference to them whether or not I'm a part of their lives. I want to make new friends but don't know how. |
t3_2yhh06 | tifu | TIFU by drinking coffee | So this happened about two years ago. There was this one really hot girl in my college English class (We'll call her "A") and I decided to bust the moves on her and I end up getting her number. So we're texting each other later that week and she finds out that I've never drunk coffee in my life. A is a HUGE fan of coffee, so she declares that it is now her personal mission to make me start drinking it. About a week later she drags me to a coffee shop near the college and demands that I order a coffee and drink it, and me being the schmuck that can't say no to a pretty girl that I am, I order the coffee. As soon as the barista hands me the coffee, I immediately take a huge swig, and that's when I realise I've made a big mistake for two reasons. Firstly, it's probably the most bitter thing I've ever tasted, but that's not the worst of it. The second reason it was a mistake is the fact that this coffee is the hottest thing I've ever put in my mouth, and as such my mouth was in agony and it took all my self-control not to scream and spit the coffee out. At this point, A is looking at me rather weirdly, and then she asks "Are you not going to put sugar and milk in that?" not wanting to look like an idiot, I shake my head and say "Nah, it tastes pretty good like this" and take another swig of the black lava, suffering through more horrible pain. After about 5 minutes A has to go to her lesson, leaving me to double over in pain without making A think I was a complete moron. Then to add insult to injury, a friend of mine comes over and asks if he can have my coffee, and then just drinks the whole thing in one big gulp, showing no emotion as he downs the fiery, black coffee. I couldn't feel the inside of my mouth for two weeks afterwards. | Cute girl demands I try coffee for the first time, end up getting third degree burns on the inside of my mouth |
t3_1mo9rz | relationships | My girlfriend [17f] of almost a year just broke up with me [16m] what now? | She just said she "loves me as a friend". I know we're young, I don't need to be told that, but I believe I'm old enough to have strong feelings for her. I still love her, and I just don't know what to do, do I try to talk to her, do I let her come to me, I just can't stand the thought of her with some other guy.
She broke up with me last Sunday saying "she's not ready for a relationship" which didn't make sense seeing we've known each other for over 2 years, and dated for about half of that. She got back together with me the next day saying "I'm sorry, I can't live without you, I love you" but according to her today it was because I was so depressed that she got back with me.
Today I stayed home from school because of a doctors appt. and she came to see me at 7:30 am before school and then picked me up afterwards and everything seemed fine, but when we went in my house to study, I tried to kiss her, and she said "woah, we're just friends, we never actually got back together". We sat in her car for a while and I was asking questions trying to figure this all out. Then I got out and she left.
What do I do? I'm heartbroken and I don't want to lose her, I love her more than I've loved anything in my life. We've done so much together, we lost our virginity to each other and after this long, I just don't wanna see her go, how do I deal with this? | Girlfriend of almost a year just broke up with me outside my house saying "she loves me as a friend"^wtf and I need some help on how I can get her back or get over this. |
t3_2w3ovs | personalfinance | House won't sell. Contemplating taking a loss but unsure how to proceed | My husband and I bought a house two years ago with the full intent to stay in it for at least five years. However, I got a new job in a new state last fall and we put our house up for sale. We're staying with family rent free in the new state and my job is enough to cover all our bills with a little leftover for saving. My husband hasn't found work out here yet (totally different problem) so renting a place and paying the mortgage isn't doable.
It's been six months and we've received two low ball offers on the house. We were trying not to take a loss since we have about $2,000 saved. Our savings account took a big hit after unexpected medical expenses last year. Without much of a cushion, becoming a landlord doesn't sound like a great idea.
We've already dropped the price to our break even point but we haven't gotten more traffic. I don't want to go through a short sale and take the hit on my credit (I've worked hard for my 800 score) but I don't know what my other options are. My family is awesome about letting us stay but I want out. Anyone have ideas about what to do? | Want to sell my house asap but to do that, I'd have to take a loss without cash on hand to cover the difference. What are my options? |
t3_49lls6 | relationships | Me [16 F] and my [18 M] boyfriend of 1,5 years split up due to my parents being overprotective | My now ex boyfriend and I really love(d) each other but we had to break up three weeks ago because my parents had been very tough to us. Last year they prohibited me to see him, and after some months of us staying "together", they finally let us see each other but them being in total control of the relationship... and we did what we could.
So we broke up maily because he couldn't go on with my parents controlling our relationship (and also because it was kind of long distance, seeing each other once a week tops), and I totally understand that, I understand he is/was frustrated and wanted to feel better... Now, the thing is I am not alright. I've been struggling with depression for a long time (no help either) and this has put me in a very depressed and anxious state. Actually had a panic attack at a restaurant two weeks after breaking up.
I don't know what to do, he told me we were friends and we could keep talking but he doesn't start any conversation, only me. I don't know if I should give it up and never talk to him again, because I don't want to. I love him and it hurts me not being able to be with him... Because I know he also loves me. I've been jealous lately because I fear he's checking out other girls and trying to forget about me.
I want to ask him if he's down to try again, try other ways to make it work... But if he says no, I don't think I can continue with a friendship for a while. | Boyfriend and I broke up due to parents being overprotective, I'm having deppression/anxiety issues and I want to go back but seems really difficult to work it through. |
t3_y7jae | relationship_advice | [21/f] and [22/m], how can I figure out what our dang problem is? | My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half. We started a serious relationship shortly after we met and moved in together about a month and a half into it. Us moving in together was more out of necessity than anything else but at the time, we were both comfortable trying it out and hoping for the best. We had a really great relationship 9 months after that. After 9 months, my partner had to leave the country and he came back after 3 months. Ever since he came back, things have been slowly deteriorating. I don't feel the same way I used to about him and he can sense it. I find myself constantly being annoyed with him and snapping at him over nothing. I feel like he's smothering me when he shows me affection throughout the day and I feel like I'm lying when I say that I love him. I know that while he was gone, I felt betrayed constantly because he would promise me he was coming back within a month, one month became a month and a half, which became 2 months, and so on. I recognize it wasn't necessarily his fault as he could not actually physically come back, but I would still cry a lot, and get angry with him. I just wanted him to stop telling me he knew when he'd be back when he was just as clueless as I was.
There are so many problems in our relationship but there is also so much good that I really want to put the effort in before I call it quits. I just don't know where/how to start, or at what point I should just give up. Just a bullet list of some of the things we're struggling with:
* We have problems with sex (mostly it's my own problems)
* I struggle with anxiety/depression
* We're both incredibly busy with work
* We just had his friend move in as a roommate
* I have recently discovered my true sexual identity
* I find myself thinking of other people (although I would NEVER break the trust that we have built and cheat on him)
* Simply put, I just can't seem to enjoy his company anymore.
How do I even begin to unravel this? | A whole slew of problems in my relationship, how do I start to fix things and at what point do I just give up? |
t3_2627gy | relationships | What advice would you give someone possibly entering a relationship with no prior experience? | 20F, I have been seeing someone [20M] for a few weeks now, we have many mutual friends which made it easier to get to know each other. I've never been in a relationship, let alone really "date" anyone. He has been in three serious relationships. We are currently just seeing each other a lot and I've been hearing from mutual friends that he is interested in me.
- What are some things I should consider before possibly entering a relationship with him?
- What are some things you wish you had known before getting in a relationship?
- What would you say are clear signs that we are ready to call it official?
- I mentioned he was in a serious relationship (last year); again, we met a few weeks ago. Would it be too much to ask about his ex right now? Do I really need to even ask about her/should I? I'm not too worried about her as I have been told that she and I are completely different people so I have no concerns about being competition with her but I have no idea if they still talk or how he feels about her right now.
Any related tips, advice, things that you wish you had known would be helpful! Thanks! | i don't do relationships, don't want to make the wrong choice etc. would like to hear insight and your own dating stories. |
t3_34f3z9 | relationships | Me [19/m] deathly afraid of cheating. Getting in between my relationships. | So basically I frequent /r/relationships and I am a relationship advice friend to anyone who needs it. I love relationships and love. I am a romantic emo or a hopeless romantic (same thing) so I just adore this kind of stuff.
However most of the girls I have been with have cheated on me. Even on this subreddit so many people cheat **it disgusts me**.
I am deathly afraid of my relationships (that I also adore so much) because I am afraid of my SO cheating on me, or worse cheating and not telling me and we stay together. I always immediately cut it off with cheaters. It soils them to me.
So therefore every time I am in these relationships I am terrified of the girl cheating. The more I love her the more terrified I am. It really gets bad, and causes paranoia and jealousy. Girlfriend on vacation with family for a month? I will be hoping and praying nothing happens. *I just cant trust people*.
Anyone have any good stories maybe to brighten my mood? Anything to help with my problem? | I am afraid of cheating to a point where it gets in the way in relationships. This isnt all the time just in moments. |
t3_1qv67z | dating_advice | Great chick I met at a basketball game | So I met this beautiful girl(who was friends with one of my friends' gfs) at the Rockets. I told her she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen(which yes, she is) and asked for her number and she glady replied yes!
Now, my phone was dead at the time so we had to part ways for the night but I eventually found her on fb the next day through the friend and got her number on there.
I want to call her on Monday to ask if I can take her out for coffee on the weekend to get to know her better.(We go to different uni's that are fairly close, and my bestfriend goes to the same that she does so I go over there a lot anyway).
Would it be fine if I just sent her a message on fb saying I was gonna call her the next day or should I just call now? | Met a cool girl and got her number. Should I call tonight to get coffee on the weekend or call during the day tomorrow? |
t3_ngcw9 | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your awkward "Is this really happening right now" stories that were out in public view? I'll start. | I'll get to editing this with some better ones once I can remember them, but this one happened today...
I was getting my teeth cleaned at the dentists, and I was the only patient there. So naturally all the other employees were chatting it up, and generally spying on the woman working on my chompers. I'd had this lady before, and I knew I could have better conversation with my manyx(cat), so I wasn't saying much. Everything was going alright, until the 50 year old woman pretty much headlocked me, and pulled my face straight into her horrendous bosom so she could get a closer look at my mouth. Mind you, this lady is obese, so I was about to suffocate in the worst way possible. Oh yeah, and at least 4 other employees were snickering outside as they walked by. I'm now afraid of the dentists, and I'm almost 20. | Got WAAAAAAAYYYYY too close for comfort at the dentists office, and several employees watched my head be engulfed by old disgusting boobs. Fuck the dentists office. |
t3_2d7uhz | personalfinance | Trying to move out and worried about how my parent will get by. Advice? | I've been wrestling with the idea of moving out for a long time. I'm 21 and work as a receptionist in Minneapolis for a luxury apartment business. I make $10 an hour, at a base of 30 hours a week. I've been working there for six months and because we're short staffed I've almost always hit around 45-60 hours a week with some great overtime. My best friend and I are eyeballing a few apartments in the cities that are around 900 or so a month, with us splitting the bill down the middle. I bring home about 1,300 monthly when I'm only getting minimum hours.
I currently live at home with my mother and 22 year old brother. Both of us are taking a few years off of college (I have no college debt just yet to worry about) to save up money and get our ducks in a row. My main concern with moving out is not how I can manage financially, but how I can manage both my rent and her rent at the same time.
My mother is absolutely terrible with money. We live in a trailer with $580 rent, and she's always supported us with a boyfriend's income, or by borrowing money. She's been an artist her whole life and doesn't have many other job skills at 57 years old. She's also recently in remission for breast cancer and I can't let her overwork herself since she's at risk for relapse if she gets too stressed. I feel responsible for her since she's very scatter-brained and I'm concerned that she can't make it on her own since she's never had to do so before.
My brother and I pay most of the bills. She gets $700 a month for unemployment, but that won't cover the debt she's gotten herself into over the years, along with two cars and a huge electricity bill. I think I make enough to survive on my own (especially with a roommate), but I need advice about how to deal with a dependent parent. | Desperately want to move out of the nest, but don't know how to keep myself and my mother financially stable. Any advice for me? |
t3_3ql1pj | relationships | My gf [27/f] of over a year struggles with anger issues and I [30/m] have lost my patience. Should I stay or should I go? | My girlfriend has an anger problem but has been consistently improving. 6+ months ago she would start a fight with me nearly every week. Each time she would send me dozens of angry text messages over the course of hours or sometimes days. She'd yell at me over the phone, etc. She would also act out. One time she got mad, downloaded tinder, and started swiping in front of me to try to upset me.
Usually when this happens I tell I want to break up. She usually apologizes (sincerely) and I can tell she hates that she behaves that way but once something clicks to anger mode, she's not in control. After some ultimatums from me, she started doing yoga multiple times per week and trying hard to get herself under control.
Fast forward to present day, we still have disagreements but they are not nearly as intense, usually end within an hour, and much less frequent.
The problem is, even though she has greatly improved, I have lost my patience for her short fuse anger. She yelled at me last week for a few minutes, then quickly apologized but even that upset me as much as her crazy outbursts would 6+ months ago. I get upset now and want to leave every time she makes even a little mistake.
I do love her and when shes not angry, she is a wonderful, supportive, loving person. Her without the anger is my ideal mate but I'm struggling to wait for her to get there. | My gf has anger problems but has gotten much better. I'm still struggling to handle even after the improvements. Should I stick it out or move on? |
t3_3bespx | relationships | Soon-to-be MIL [61F] told me [33F] "they" don't want my late husband's brother [21M] in my life. | I was first married when I was 23. Four years after we were married I lost my husband in an accident. At that time my husband's mother was terminally ill. The plan was that after she passed away we will take care of his younger brother (then 15 years old) and help him through his life. That plan was gone when my husband died but I promised her that I will take care of her son and she transferred me his custody. We moved into their parents house and we lived there for a few years until he went to college and I moved into my apartment. Taking care of my husband's brother was comforting for me and it wasn't difficult. I've known this kid since he was 11 and I love him like I love my own brother. During these years we've been like family and our relationship is very nice.
So since two years ago I'm with my boyfriend who very recently proposed and I accepted. His family has been nice to me as well and we've never had any issues. Two days ago, I was at a small ladies party that his mom threw and during the party she asked about him (late husband's brother), asking if we're in contact or not. She then said that "it's best for everyone if you two didn't remain in contact. It's good for you to close that chapter of your life".
I was shocked and disappointed, I didn't say anything. I haven't told my fiance yet but I don't know if I should. I have no intention of doing what she asked but I don't know if I need to tell my fiance or should I just act as though it didn't happen? Do I need to respond to her? | future MIL asked me to cut ties with my late husband's brother, who I raised for a few years. I think it's very unreasonable and I'm not going to do it. How should I react to this "request"? |
t3_1twdxk | loseit | How did you all do at Christmas? I am still feeling annoyed at myself :( | Hi everyone, basically I am still feeling guilty even though I didn't do that badly.
My stats:
F
19
5'9
SW: 210
CW: 187~
GW: 155~
Target cals/day: 1800
I did well every single day up to christmas, I haven't had a cheat day at all, woke up on christmas and had mango for breakfast but decided throughout the day it would be miserable to not have all the nice things, and there has been SO MUCH junk and chocolate in the house and I finally lost my will power.
I didn't go crazy, maybe 4000/5000 cals, but I am feeling so bad still! It's almost demotivating me.
The day after I had 1725 cals, and went for a run/jog to the castle near my house (uphill - I am not an aristocrat, it's not my castle, just british lol), and have been on target since. I am planning on going to the castle again tmrw and perhaps to the gym for an induction, but I've been feeling nervous to because apparently gym goers mock the january newbies :/ | Am feeling bad after eating badly on christmas day, wanting to hear how you all did to make myself feel better. |
t3_2swwwt | tifu | TIFU by trying to post a Facebook status while drunk | Happened a few hours ago, so I'm mostly sobered up and can type straight.
So I was bored today and went over to a friend's place to get drunk. He decided to bring over a few girls who he knew. The night had gone pretty well so far, and then I decided to post something on my Facebook wall through my iPhone.
Thing is, I was already pretty tipsy and uncoordinated at the time and my hand-eye wasn't the best. I must have accidentally hit the Upload Photo button on my status bar because the next thing I knew I was in my photo library. So I exited and tried to access my browser again, but ended up hitting my camera app instead (the two apps are right next to each other). So I tried exiting again, but instead of hitting the Home button, I accidentally hit the big shutter button right above it instead. This wouldn't have been a problem if my phone's flash wasn't on.
So that big bright light flashed at the girls, and they were completely freaked out, thinking I was trying to take a picture of them. I apologized profusely, but I knew the damage was done. The night went on as planned, but I can already feel the awkwardness in the air. After the girls left to go home hours later, the guys with me also admitted to thinking that what I did looked creepy as fuck. They weren't wrong. I already know that those girls are still talking about how fucking weird I am. | Tried to post a Facebook status while drunk. My shaky hands ended up taking a picture of some random girls. Made a shitty first impression. |
t3_2fd8jg | cats | [Serious] How do I get my cat to stop bullying the new one? And, how do I get the new kitten to stop pooping everywhere? | Here's some background: I've had two cats for a while now and after my new roommate moved in with her 7- or 9-month old kitten about a month ago, there have been problems with one of the cats pooping everywhere outside of the litter box (litter boxes are downstairs). We're guessing it's the new kitten but not 100% sure since all of their poop looks about the same. One of my cats (7 y/o female tuxedo) is constantly bullying her and stops her from going anywhere except to my roommate's space, which is upstairs. One suggestion we have considered is using the Feliway plug-in but it doesn't look like it's helping - they're still scrapping it out day and night. Can you guys please recommend something else? | new kitten is urinating/pooping everywhere outside the litter box, older cat is bullying her into staying in one space, Need some suggestions in making them both stop being assholes. |
t3_u35ih | AskReddit | What is the funniest/weirdest way you've seen someone avoid a begger? | I went to visit a friend of mine in his college town, it's a pretty big city so homeless people are not uncommon. So we are walking through the downtown area and a little ahead of us are these 3, likely college age, girls. As we are walking we can see a homeless person with a sign asking for change walking towards us. As he gets closer the three girls go to find a hiding place, which happend to be the doorway to some small office or something that was obviously closed. Anyways these three girls pile into this doorway, barely fitting all three, with their backs turned to the sidewalk. The begger walks by and the three girls leave the doorway and start talking like nothing happened. My friend and I, after a moment of thought, began laughing our asses off. | Three girls tried to hide from a homeless person walking towards them by piling up in a narrow doorway with their backs to street and not saying anything. |
t3_3cy3sg | relationships | My [19/M] girlfriend's [18/F] best friend [18/F] tried to have a foursome with me and my best friends [19/M] | Short story, I was at a party last night with my girlfriend, who quickly passed out. Alot of time went by and eventually the only people still awake were her best friend, me, and my two best friend. All of whom were pretty drunk. She was starting to feel me and my buddies up (Mostly my friend, but she started to grab at my hips, nothing else) and it was clear that she wanted a threesome.
I didn't feel right about that (naturally) and I declined and left the room, one of friends followed as well. I didn't kiss her or anything. But I can't help but feel guilty. I made the right decision but I still feel like a shitty person for even being there as long as I was before leaving. I just didn't really believe what was happening at first.
What do I do? Do I tell my girlfriend and cause a commotion? Or do I just avoid her friend in the future. They've been friends for almost 8 years and I've only been dating this girl for 7 months. It would crush her to find out her best friend did this, and I'm worried that her friend may try to make me look bad as a defense. I vaguely told her about it but neglected to tell my involvement in it.
Just, as it stands I can't help but feel guilty. | Girlfriend's best friend tried to get with me and two of my friends, I did the right thing but not before she started to feel me up. I feel guilty and don't know what to do. |
t3_2ej2pq | relationships | I'm [26m] holding on to someone [26f] with depression | I've been dating someone on and off for a while now who has depression and recently ADHD. It's been rough, I'm sure I don't need to elaborate here, but when things are going well they go really well. We share core values, ambitions, we're both attracted to each other, and I've never met anyone like her. The problem is that after 2+ years, she still can't say she loves me. Her reasoning is that her depression is making it impossible, and that she needs time to work on herself and to be comfortable not relying on others (after being in a long term relationship right before she met me where she was never alone and might have used it as a crutch). Part of it sounds like what someone would say if they just don't think the other person is "the right one", but I do believe her when she says she just needs time to get herself together.
My question to Reddit is how to proceed. After seeing her recently and having a fight, she reiterated how she needs time and space and I agreed, I have no plans to talk to her for a while and will let her initiate from now on. I know you can't put a timeline on something like getting better control of your depression, but if anyone else has ever been in this situation, did the person ever come around? Have I essentially lost her for good?
She means the world to me, and being extremely busy in my job (new medical resident), I have no plans to date around or be with anyone else, I have little enough time and I've always been comfortable being by myself and out of a relationship. I know I can't wait forever, but I need to believe there's still a chance for us. Any advice would be helpful. | The woman I love has depression, and she needs time to figure herself out and I don't know what to do. |
t3_2wyeis | relationship_advice | HELP: Struggles with the past | So me(17year old guy) has been dating my gf(16 years old) for a little over a month. We've been having a pretty smooth relationship so far with honestly no problems accept the one I will mention in a bit. She's alike me in a ton of ways,we share a lot in common, and we also differ enough to where we both learn new things from each other daily. Pretty sweet position to be in! That being said,the only problem I'm currently making is that her sexual past has been getting into my thoughts lately. While we've shared many first,she had previously been with one person going all the way. Never done anything with anyone(aside from me) and this ex. We've already done a lot of new things and she had taken my virgnity(fyi,don't really view sex as something supper important or anything,just see it as fun) and we've had our share of fun. The problem is that I brought up shower sex jokingly the other day as "something we should try" and turns out she's allready done this. Not that itself that gets to me,but for some reason her not being an innocent past really gets to me some times. My question is has anyone ever felt this way before. Also,advice on how to get over the occasional feeling of anger and other shit twords her past would be much appreciated. [this is the only fault In our relationship as of right now so I look forward to keeping this a fun and knowledgeable experience, so breaking up shouldn't be a considered "cure"] thanks for reading! | good relationship but she's been with a dude before and bugs me from time to time. How do I get this to stop upsetting me? |
t3_1ffnrz | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend [22M] is obsessed with porn | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and have a great sex life. We both have high sex drives and have sex multiple times a day.
Recently, we were just laying in bed and he started watching porn for fun. I am not oblivious and I am aware that guys watch lots of porn. However, any video I clicked on, he knew every single porn star's name and pointed out his favorite porn actresses to me to get off to. This made me very uncomfortable for some reason. Then we started to have sex and he kept it on in the background and kept watching it while I was on top... This made me feel like I wasn't turning him on and like the porn was more interesting than me.
Then, last night we were lying in bed and he flipped on the adult video awards and was very excited. It kind of rubbed salt in the wound.
I'm not the type to get jealous easily but his fascination with porn put my stomach in knots. How should I handle it? Can any of you give me some insight into his point of view and why it shouldn't bother me? I feel like I'm wrong to be upset about this and I don't want to be. I feel silly. Help! | Boyfriend is fascinated by porn. I don't want to be upset about it, I think it's silly to let this bother me. Give me some insight so I can stop my worrying, please! |
t3_2nie3r | askwomenadvice | I [M20] think she [F18] might be into me but I'm not sure. Help? | So I've never been the best with you feminine types, as you can probably tell since I've gone to the internet for help. Anyway I've been out of the dating game for a while and have just been focusing on my college work and whatnot, I'm a 3rd year and Vice President of my SU so there's plenty of work to keep me occupied, I have been chatting to this really attractive girl in 1st year though. We've got a lot of similar interests and I've given her Dracula to read and she intends to give me The Klingon Art of War, so we're sharing our favourite reads with each-other.
Anyway we were discussing The Evil Within game and she said she really wanted to play it, I told her I have it at my apartment and she can come over to play it if she wants. She enthusiastically agreed to this, and then again when I asked her if she'd help me finish a bottle of pina colada (leftover from a house party but still good) despite neither of us having tried it before.
She likes my sense of humor and thinks I'm really cool, being the unconfident guy that I am, I'm not 100% sure that she is into me, besides which I currently have a big ugly biker moustache for Movember, so I'm not exactly Captain Handsome at the minute. She's coming over Friday afternoon (my roommates insist on vacating) to hang out with me.
So I suppose the advice I'm looking for is what should I look out for as signs of interest, and should I try anything (i.e. go for a kiss) the first time we hang out like that? Part of me thinks I should do nothing the first time, and then the week after, ask her out properly rather than under the veil just 'hanging out'.
Apologies for rambling anyway, if a wise woman has some words of wisdom for me that'd be wonderful! | Really like a girl, not sure if she likes me back, is coming to hang out with me, what do I do? |
t3_32yft7 | relationships | Me [22M] and my girlfriend [23F] had a lot of tension. I finally brought it up | Been dating for 8 months. We had a lot of unspoken tension between us for the past month. I finally couldn't take it and called her to talk about it. Amazingly she felt he exact same way.
We spoke for about an hour about our relationship and agreed there was something wrong we couldn't put our finger on. But we agreed it wasn't the same as it used to be and that we both felt the other person didn't care as much anymore.
She was pretty shaken up on the phone and but I could tell we were thinking the same thing. Anyways we ended up agreeing to just take a day to collect our thoughts and not talking to each other.
I'm picking her up from work tomorrow then we are going to her place. I know her roommate well and was planning on setting up a dinner with all her favourite foods and desserts in her house so when she gets home we will be able to have a nice at home date.
I was also going to tell her that I love her and just go from there (haven't said that word yet).
The dinner date isn't a desperation move, it's to take the first step in showing her I do care. Hopefully she picks up on this and puts in the effort too.
Is this a good idea or am I way off the mark here? | There was unspoken tension between us and I addressed it. We are taking a day long break but I'm going to surprise her with a dinner date and tell her I love her (first time). |
t3_3yosxu | dogs | [HELP] My girlfriend and her dog were attacked (w/pics) | This is my first time posting here so please be gentle. My girlfriend was walking her 6 year old Corgi-Terrier mix and were both attacked by a dog who's owner's maintenance worker left the gate to their home open. As she was walking by the dog just ran over and started to attack my gf's dog. She attempted to intervene and was also bitten and bruised. The owners (an older couple), ran out and were able to restrain their dog. They were extremely apologetic, bandaged up my gf, and according to her, were even crying they were so upset. They offered to drive her to the hospital, or her and her dog to the vet if necessary, but she declined and left. She checked her dog all over and did not notice any visible wounds or signs of trauma. She kept an eye on her, and other than seeming a bit shaken up, she seemed fine.
The next morning my gf noticed her dog's stomach had small red spots. To me they look like bruises, but she's worried they may be something worse, like internal trauma. Any ideas as to what we should do here? Do we need to take her to the vet? Are these just bruises that will heal? Thank you. | My girlfriend's dog was attacked, with no signs of visible trauma. The next morning the dog has red spots on her stomach. |
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