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t3_50dsve | relationships | Is it wrong of me (19m) to not want my (18f) girlfriend posting "lude" pictures on social media? | As the title states I don't want my girlfriend posting lewd pictures on her social media's. Recently in our town a lot of girls have been "empowering" themselves by posting revealing pictures online. My girlfriend, sadly, is joining in on this trend. My girlfriend and I have been together 5 months now and this is the only thing in the relationship I'm not comfortable with. I feel like those sort of pictures should be just for me. The kind of pictures I'm talking about are ones in lingerie, tight dresses, skimpy swim suits etc. Now I don't care if she posts normal selfies, it's just the ones that are sort of sexual in nature that really bother me. I feel like if I'm the only one who should be able to see that, instead of anyone who wants to see. It just bothers me.These pictures crush my self confidence. Is this something I should talk to her about, or should I just put up with it? Will I sound crazy jealous and posessive? How should I go about telling her if I should talk to her? I'm if this has been asked before. I tried searching, but found nothing. | My girlfriend likes to post revealing pictures on her social media. I want to know if I am being unreasonable for not wanting her to post them. Thanks in advance |
t3_3dk01c | relationships | Me [26M] with my Roommate [30M] I want to have my [24] gf over for the weekend, but he wants his alone time. How can I explain that we would not bother him? | So About 2 weeks ago I started bringing my gf home. Mostly at night. Now, My roommate works 8-12 hour days 6 days a week. I explained this to her and we both agreed to respect his time to himself the best we can. She is coming over Saturday afternoon to hang out for awhile (play games, watch movies, etc.) I just talked to my roommate and he says he wants his alone time and feels that she's going to cause unrest in the house. Every time she's been over we've been quiet and respectful towards him and his privacy. Is there something I can say to prove that were not trying to bug him and want him to continue to live his own life while we spend some quality time with each other? | Gf and I want quality time to ourselves at my house. Roommate also wants to relax after work and feels were going to cause problems and disrupt his life. |
t3_epv9d | AskReddit | I have the hope that... | Every day I feel the force of contradiction in which humankind lives.
The admiration for what we have accomplished (science, society ...) and the shame for what has been able to do (wars, exploitation, manipulation of others ...).
I have the hope that somehow, civil democracy and access to information like never before, will enable us to be different, that gradually admiration will win over shame. I have the hope that the exponential growth of knowledge and global civil access to information in windows as Reddit, by citizens like us, will forever change the way in which the large social structures work.
Am I a crazy and dangerous optimist? Do you also reckon the system, democracy, maybe changing to something new and better?
What can I do to promote that change into my local area of influence, into my neighbourhood, my town hall, so that more people have access to relevant information? | I feel the need to move the lush access to information in the digital world to my local community. How I can do it for real? Any ideas? |
t3_3deigz | relationships | I (f41) HATE the shorts my partner (m58) has been wearing EVERY DAY. | My partner and I have been together 1.5 years, and I'm currently pregnant with our first child. We have a great relationship, it's mutually respectful, affectionate, loving. He's the most attractive man that I've ever been with.
However, he recently came back from a month-long trip for work and I think he's experiencing some depression being back in our small town. He's from NYC, goes there for work one month a year, and always gets down for a little while upon returning to the small southern town we are stuck in until his research assignment is over in a few years.
Due to this, he's taking less care of his appearance. He's still showering, shaving, etc. But he's wearing the same outfit every day. He's been back two weeks and he's worn the same shorts (long-ass camo cargo shorts) every single day.
I can deal with the lack of sex until he feels better soon, I can deal with his messiness until he feels better, but I can't handle how hideous those shorts make him look. He has other clothes, much nicer looking clothes. He makes plenty of money to buy more attractive shorts. He looks like a gross teenaged mallrat in an old man body.
How do I approach this without making him feel more depressed? It's making me feel much less attracted to him. | My depressed partner is wearing the same ugly outfit every day and it's turning me off so bad. How do I tell him? |
t3_ogtmm | AskReddit | Need help from the lawyers of Reddit related to high school education | My school has recently begun the process of charging high school kids $75 per AP class we take. This is a public school and we already pay $90 if we want to take the actual AP exam; other than the cost of the exam, there is no difference in cost between AP classes and regular classes. The teachers in my school get paid based on years of experience, regardless of what level of difficulty they're teaching classes. Furthermore, our school's not even broke, we're from the suburbs of New Jersey and we pay really high property taxes. The school is basically squeezing money out of students who want to learn more than the average high school student to pay for expenses not even related to football.
However, I'm asking Reddit for help for a legal matter. Again, I'm from New Jersey and I believe that it's not legal for public schools to charge students an extra fee for educational programs. My teacher whose sympathetic to my cause pointed out how certain educational programs, like classes for developmentally challenged kids, cannot be subject to a fee for the parents of the class in a public school, and how the same principle applies to us. However, I'm not a lawyer, none of my parents are lawyers, none of my friends' parents are lawyers. I'm setting up a petition and a letter to the school board to repeal this "Pay to Learn" program but I can't understand the legal jargon of New Jersey educational laws for shit. I can't really ask for more help from my teachers because they're scared about the school retaliating in some way. If you're a lawyer who knows a thing or two about educational statutes in NJ, please help and respond. This isn't just to help me, I'm a senior in high school and I'm going to be out in six months; but I feel that this "Pay to Learn" program is going to put extraneous pressure on families, like mine, that would have trouble scrounging around for another $300 bucks to pay for their kids' education. I feel that this sets a dangerous precedent and challenges what is the purpose of a education that is offered to anyone and everyone in America. | I need to find a legal statute in the state of New Jersey that says that public schools can't charge fees for educational programs and would be thrilled if someone in the law or education fields could help me out. |
t3_1vc9q5 | relationships | Getting in contact with my [20F] ex boyfriend [21] after a year | My boyfriend of two years and I broke up 9 months ago. As we were in the same social circle we remained "friendly" for a few months until I moved overseas for a year. He messaged me after 2 months of no contact asking how I was, etc.
While our breakup was not "nasty", his actions after (picking up girls in front of me, telling friends details of our relationship, etc) hurt me deeply, though at the time I expressed none of it to him…so when he got in contact again I told him just how humiliated I felt at the time, saying I wasn't sure if I could still be his friend after being disrespected and hurt.
He replied that he too was hurt by things I did in the aftermath of our break up. Justified, I'm not gonna lie, but as I see it not in the same vein as what he did.
He was angry for my hypocrisy, but said if I ever felt we could be friends again to "let him know" because "even though I'm angry right now I'd like to believe I still do care". I never responded.
It's been 9 months since then with no contact and I am soon moving to the same city as him, which I believe he is aware of.
I miss him, I love him as much as I ever did and I want him back. How should I approach this situation? I was considering a short message, just telling him I've been thinking of him, wanted to see how his life is, etc.
Does anyone have any advice for me? Should I bring up our argument, or pretend like it didn't happen? He was very angry in his last message. Is there any chance he'd still reconsider us together? | No contact with ex for year after argument over who was the bigger asshole post-breakup. Want to get in touch and hopefully start a fresh |
t3_2h9gwo | personalfinance | Just saved a significant amount on my car insurance and I am receiving a pay rise in the coming months - things are finally looking up [M19] | I am 19 years old currently living with my parents and I have a pretty good apprenticeship (IT Support with a government agency) however, with the apprentice pay low I have been struggling with my own finances quite a lot. I have earned approximately £6000 since I started the apprenticeship 10 months ago and do not have a single penny to show for this. No savings, no holidays paid for etc. It had been getting me quite down. However, I received a bit of good news when renewing my car insurance and have managed to save about £570 on this (almost a months salary) and then I have just been informed I will be getting a pay rise in the next month. Taking both of these into account I will be making about £150 a month extra than I have been which I will hopefully be able to save up to enjoy myself with over the next year. I know it's not much compared to a lot of people, but for myself it is a massive boost!
If anything wants to know any more or if anyone feels they could help improve my finances even more then please just let me know
Thanks :D | 19YO struggling with finances. Saved £570 a year on car insurance and I am receiving a wage increase bringing in an extra £150 /month compared to what I was making. |
t3_3i9dyf | relationships | What should I [M28] tell (or avoid telling) a friend of mine (F24) who always feels down about not being in a relationship or having kids? | I have a good friend (F24) who's really preoccupied, conversationally, with hoping to meet 'the perfect person'; children, familial life, etc. She's expressed not feeling that 'guys date girls like her' and seems to feel generally low about it, but also has really high expectation of immediate compatibility. From what I can tell, she's casually dating a guy she doesn't like but otherwise makes little effort to date (no bars, or online dating, says she doesn't have time).
Naturally as a good friend I (M27) want to say/do the right thing, but the girl-guy dynamic throws me and I have no idea what to say that isn't cliche or blunt. Do I try and cheer her up with my awful humour? Offer practical advice? Be brutally honest? Ignore it, leave it to her girl friends? I feel pretty ill-equipped to answer these sorts of problems, so I'm hoping the experiences of Redditers can step in.
I feel it probably worthing adding that our friendship is purely platonic. | Girl [F24]who is a friend feels undateable, is there anything I [M27] can say/do to help? |
t3_1f6jad | relationships | I, [16/F] couldn't read signals from [M/16] if they were written in smoke. | We've been dating for about a month, but we've been talking for about 5. He [16/M] is my [16/F] first relationship, and I've been trying to figure out how to interact in this context. Especially when it comes to physical contact, like kissing. I have no idea how to kiss in any way other than a quick, closed mouth peck. I'm concerned that he thinks I don't want to do anything beyond this, when in reality I simply don't know how to go about advancing things any further. I also cannot tell when he wants to do something like this, because were I anymore blind to this I would need a seeing eye dog. If anybody has any tips on how to handle this, they are more than welcome. | I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in a new relationship, and physical contact is a mystery worthy of Scooby-Doo. |
t3_s4hk8 | Advice | 16 Year old in need of some advice. | Im a 16 year old living in Canada originally from the UK. We moved here when i was about 7 or 8 and i have hated it from basically day one. ive had some tough experiences with teachers and have felt truly alone here for a long time. Im starting to really not give a fuck about my life or what happens to me when im older. me and my dad have never been close and my mom is starting to i think truly despise me. ive turned to drugs a couple of times. been kicked out of 3 school. from the outside i give off the impression of a kid who is defiant and has a bad attitude. but im seriously fucked up and have no idea what to do. if anyone has had similar experiences who could give me a bit of friendly advice. if you think im a whiney teenager then thanks for reading this far. | 16 year old. gets kicked out of 3 schools. moves from UK to canada. gets real sad gets real mad. parents get real mad and sad. sucks. |
t3_3c6utb | relationships | Me [23 M] with my facebook crush [Slightly-older/younger F]. | Not much to this. Came across a girl I find very attractive on facebook. We have one mutual friend. She is single. I am single. I sent her a friend request on Friday night, it's now Sunday night (Australia) and she hasn't accepted (ignored).
From my slight stalking on the information available on her facebook page we seem to actually have a number of things in common. I'm considered to be quite attractive apparently (too bad looks aren't everything), and suspect the reason she didn't accept my friend request is because we have never met/spoken irl. I've decided to send her a one time message to try and interest her.
I need some advice since this is my one shot and don't do this exact thing ever. Also my judgement is slightly obscured due to drinking alcoholic beverages to muster courage. Here is the message (ignore my attempts to be cute):
>Hi there =] I couldn't help notice you write such lovely poetry =3 I never attempt to add random people but you seem like a rather interesting person and well, my curiosity got the better of me so you're an exception ^_^ I was hoping to make your virtual acquaintance and I promise I'm not a homicidal facebook psychopath o.o but seriously since we've never met or even spoken, I will understand if you wish to keep it that way. It would still totally suck to miss out on your poetry =\ and I'd love to talk about how it sucks when people fail to pronounce our Norwegian last names lol XD
I'm worried that me trying to be funny or even the length of the message will make her roll her eyes and ignore it. As you can probably tell, I sincerely enjoy the poetry she has written (dw it's not a cheesy seduction line). As for the norwegian last name thing, it's because we both live in an english speaking country and all my life (and most likely hers) people epically fail to pronounce our last names. | Found a random girl on facebook. Sent her a friend request but she hasn't accepted. Help me seduce her with a one off message. |
t3_1iyflh | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend [18F] of five months wants our parents to meet for dinner | We started dating earlier in the Spring semester after having met through a club sport at our university. Admittedly the first month or two wasn't the best experience, but I'm willing to chalk it up to us just really starting to get to know each other, as the past few months have been great.
We met each other's parents a few months ago (we try to see each other every weekend since we live about an hour away when we are not at school and work all week long), but the other day she sprung the idea of our parents meeting on me. I don't want to say I'm totally opposed to the idea, as we've met each other's extended family at this point, I just think it's a bigger step then she's thinking. Her reasoning is that both of our parents will be in town to move us back to school next month, and that it would be a perfect time to get together.
Anyway, after she initially brought it up (and I said we could talk about it more) she brought the idea up to my parents at dinner (in a casual way, the conversation was about moving back to school so it's logical that it would come up).
So my question to my fellow Redditors is this: am I overreacting somewhat? Is it not that big of a deal? I want to say that I am, but then again I wouldn't be asking for help if I knew I was right. | Girlfriend of five months wants our parents to meet for dinner when we move back to university next month. I'm on the fence about it. |
t3_2e2k34 | relationships | I [30 M/] Need some serious perspective on a situation with my ex GF of 2 years. Possible infidelity. | So my ex and I dated for about 2 years and about a six months to a year into it she developed a close friendship with another guy. They had a lot of chemistry together and didn't spend an absurd amount of time together but would hang out here and there and would text and talk on the phone sometimes. Their friendship always left me a little uneasy especially after he made a move on her one night when he was drunk.
I'm seriously positive that she wasn't unfaithful with me while we were going out. That's not the issue. The issue is this guy was a serious problem in our relationship and one of the main reasons that we broke up because she said I was crazy jealous and couldn't handle her having male friends.
So we break up and come to find out she slept with that guy not even a month after we broke up and they dated for a little while.
So I'm certain that she didn't cheat on me while we were going out but to jump into bed with someone I thought she had a thing for, isn't that a huge slap in the face? I mean am I justified in being pissed off about this?
I don't care who she sleeps with now or dates. We're done and over with but the fact she got together with that guy so soon after we broke up is so upsetting to me.
In fact they were basically dating and she was trying to pursue a long term relationship with him until he broke it off because he decided to get back together with his ex.
So I would love any input from you all on my situation. Thank you for your time. | Suspects girlfriend and this guy might have a thing for each other and makes me feel like a jealous asshole for thinking that and then starts dating him 3 weeks after we break up. |
t3_o195q | AskReddit | Manager takes away control of my radio, forces country music on me, what can I do? | I started a new job 6 months ago, and my manager is really into country music, myself not so much. He has multiple stereo's around the store, and there is one right next to my desk, which he doesn't sit next to. When I first started I left it on his country radio station because I didn't want to seem rude to change it right away.
Fast forward a little over a month and I started changing the station to music I enjoyed, since his office was enclosed and in a different area all together, and he had his own radio in there anyways. For the next 5 months up until now there has been a unspoken mini battle of changing the radio station back and forth to our respective stations. He gets annoyed if he hears anything other than country music.
I left for 2 weeks for vacation and returned to see he moved my radio into his office and mounted the speakers on the ceiling above my head, so I have no choice but to listen to country. Its personal preference but I can't stand listening to this station 8 hours a day, it really makes the day go by slow.
How do I get my freedom of music back reddit? He is very stubborn and I wouldn't be asking you guys unless I was certain confronting him wouldn't work, although I may try it anyway. | Manager likes country music, I do not. Manager takes away my control of the radio stations and I am forced to listen to country music, help me! |
t3_1wkv2n | cats | Pissed off cats | Hey Reddit,
I know you love cats, i love cats. I have two cats at my parents house (2nd year university student). This is a 'help me please' plea to understand why my one cat hates me with a burning passion.
It all began 10 years ago when i got a surprise for my 11th birthday, i got to pick out a kitten from a litter born just 3 days prior. I pick Athena, she grew up in our house hold and when we moved to a new province she came with us. She had always been a quite reserved and never liked people touching her, or visitors in the house or anything, ( i used to call her the bitch cat).
Recently when i come home from uni to visit my family (every few weeks) she fucking HATES ME. she's all pissed off and will hiss and attack me and runs from the room whenever i enter it she will attack noone else but me. and it's actually making me a little depressed. i mean she is MY cat i got to pick her out and take her home..
could there be any possible explination for her weird behavior.. (note, she sleeps on my sisters bed and will cuddle with my parents and other siblings) | my cat used to be nice and loving to the family, but now has singled me out as the worst thing in her life. Any possible reason for this change in behavior? |
t3_4oqbdj | legaladvice | [ID, USA] Child support help! | So brief back story. I married a woman with 2 kids. 4 year old boy, 7 year old girl. Boy from previous marriage and girl from high school knock up. Both Dads active in both kids life's. Stepsons dad pays child support and is legally obligated to pay for half of all expenses due to divorce agreement. Step daughters dad pays 179 in child support a month and claims that his child support should be used for her extracurriculars and daycare expenses (which are atrocious during the summer considering me and mom both work full time). His child support comes from her claiming child support a few years ago and his employment never sent over his info so he pays the bare minimum. She could have refuted it but she didn't. Now that I am in the picture, I want him to pay what he should be paying legally based on his income, and have it decreed that he helps out in daycare costs. Her extracurriculars such as taekwondo and dance we can handle, but the daycare is drowning us.
Now I have talked to the court assistance office and they told us we need to fill out a Affidavit verifying income. Long story short, how do we fill out these forms without him? It has us fill out both parties gross income, deductions, rent, and any other forms of income. how do we get that info? Do we have him fill it out? What if he claims he makes less then he does.He just purchased a brand new car, boasted about his 700 credit score, yet a few weeks ago when we asked him if he could chip in for daycare he told us he was barely staying a float so obviously his income is being hidden from us. | Father only pays 179 in child support a month. Mother and I need assistance, he refuses to help out. No custody agreement. How do we go about filling out affidavit verifying income for his information? |
t3_2weqko | pettyrevenge | Denied him a job | So I use to work at a place called In-N-Out Burger. For anyone that doesn't know, it's a very nice fast food restaurant on the west coast of America. (this is relevant) when I was in middle school and high-school I had this kid consistently bully me, call me names, and just overall harass me. I never really retaliated even though he definitely got on my nerves. I finally changed high-school for other reasons and never had to see him again
Finally, one day while I'm at work I see him again walk in and asking to apply there. Thankfully he didn't recognize me lol. After he finished talking with one of the managers about getting a job, the managers said they would call him soon to let him know if they wanted him. Best part is, I was very well respected at this job, so I went straight to the manager, and told him about the guy in question. About how he's a rude person and would not be a good addition to the restaurant.
The manager asked me if this is all true, I said yes. He then proceeded to throw the application away. Damn that felt so good. Finally got sweet revenge on him! :D | An old bully applies to where I work. Tell the Manger he is bad news and he throws the application away. Success. |
t3_1m0add | dating_advice | Can't tell if date is shy or not interested | I've gone on two dates with a girl. For context I'm a 21M and she's a year older. She's shy but she asked me out on the first one. On both dates she's been extremely quiet and doesn't give off much positive body language.
I haven't gotten physical in any way because I can't tell if she's actually interested at all. I chalked up the quietness to nervousness on the first date. Just went on a second date with her- same thing.
She never gave me the cold shoulder, but I really had to carry the conversation. I know she's a smart girl, but she just open up to me.
I've put the ball in her court with a text along the lines of "I had a fun, let me know if you want to do something again sometime".
Should I stick with this or just move on? I honestly can't tell if she's interested or just super quiet and awkward. I figure it's a good sign if she went on two dates (that and she asked me out originally)
I know a suggestion could be to bring her somewhere quiet and intimate, but I'm pretty sure she just won't talk there and it'll be even more awkward. | Super shy girl asked me on a date. First date was quiet and awkward with no physical contact. Second date was the same. Give up or keep trying? |
t3_12wchv | loseit | First Day - Getting there but not sure where to go? | hey r/loseit
i don't usually post on reddit, so i don't know what i'm doing or even if this is the right subreddit. i think it is, but if it's not, sorry mods.
anyways, i've decided this year that i want to lose some weight and become more fit. my body has been a large part of my insecurities.
i've been involved in marching band this year (still in HS). when i started, i was at 185 and I believe I'm down to ~170ish.
However, I'm not sure where to go from here. I don't know how much more weight I need to lose, so I guess that's what I'm asking. What weight should I put my goal at?
And before it's asked, weightloss is more important to me right now, muscle I think can be added easier.
included are a couple crappy self-shot photos
front:
left:
right: | what should be my goal weight? I've been overweight mostly my entire life so I don't know where I should aim. |
t3_26r5ym | relationships | I [20 M] am thinking of asking my friend [19 F] to go on a trip with me. Is it inappropriate? | I'll try to keep this short
I've been hanging out with this girl for a couple of months now about once a week or so. We get along really well and I really like her. She likes me too, but she's got a lot going on right now and is not over her long distance ex and really doesn't seem to know what she wants to do. Her ex just started talking to her again a couple of weeks ago and said he wants to get back together, but immediately after that he started ignoring her (which is why they broke up in the first place).
Anyway, I've had a lot of stuff going on too and will be getting a good sum of money soon and wanted to try to take a trip to the beach for a few days. I figured with all that she has going on and how much she likes nature and being outdoors that she might want to go with me, but I'm not sure 1) if that's even appropriate with her still being somewhat in a relationship and 2) if she does go whether I should try to win her over or keep it strictly as a friendly thing.
So I wanted to ask you all what you think. Is it appropriate to ask her to go and if she does, should I make a move if I get the opportunity? | I'm thinking about asking my friend to go on a trip to the beach with me. Is that appropriate if she is thinking about getting back with her ex? and if it is, how should I treat her? |
t3_30s2dd | travel | Interracial couple traveling to Spain. How much should I care/ not care about racial tension? | My wife and I are traveling overseas for the first time, 2-3 week vacation in Spain. Our itinerary looks something like Toledo, Malaga (visiting friends), Barcelona, and hopefully Northern coast, like San Sebastián/ Bilbao. I'm a black guy (light- skinned, ppl always think I'm mixed), my wife is white, we're late 20's/ 30, working professionals, "neighborhood people". I guess I think of us as plain ol Cali Kids. Our best US vacations have consisted of finding the local gems for food/ drink, some fitness (hiking, beach, sailing), events like concerts or sport events... And then probably more food and drinks. (To be honest some of our best nights have been around striking up convo w our bartenders or other guests at bars, and making a night of it. We love a good cocktail).
So a friend (Mexican) said I should prep myself for some racism... Actually his words were Spain is "super- racist". Now that's a broad generalization that's probably misleading, but did get me wondering what exactly to expect. Some odd looks, an extra security check here and there doesn't bother me at all. if anything, that's a opportunity to prove myself a good customer, guest, foreigner, whatever it may be. I like to think I'm a pretty respectful person.
So, what are we in store for? looks? Denied service? Any areas, situations we should avoid (particularly concerned about nightlife)? I took Spanish for 4 years in school, and can carry a basic convo, FWIW. Wife speaks a bit of French.
Thanks! Hoping to follow- up this trip with Thailand next year, followed by Costa Rica, and then more Europe. | black dude, white wife, speaks some Spanish, 2-3 week vacation in Spain.how much of a factor is race going to be for us? |
t3_3rxk6y | relationships | Close friend [33m] told me he'd love to date me [35f], but he would be embarrassed if his family knew about us. He doesn't see that as a dealbreaker. | I think it is, for me. I struggle a lot with my sense of self worth already, putting myself in a situation like that will not help at all.
He doesn't think it is a dealbreaker for a couple reasons. The first is that I'm working on changing. Its my weight he's embarrassed by. I'm obese now, I was morbidly obese before, and my goal is to keep going until I get to a healthy weight. I'm doing well with it, but not so well I want to get into a relationship that depends on my success. I think it would put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me and I don't respond particularly well to that. It triggers a lot of anxiety issues.
The other reason he doesn't consider it a dealbreaker is that he isn't close to his family anyway. He sees them on holidays and special occasions and thats about it. I don't know how to make him understand that isn't the point. It doesn't matter how often he sees them. Its knowing that he's too embarrassed by me to let me meet them or even have them know I exist until I'm up to his standards. It just doesn't fill me with the warm, fuzzy, cared for feelings I want from a relationship. | Guy wants to date me but he's embarrassed by my weight. I consider it a dealbreaker, he doesn't and thinks I'm being insecure, stubborn, and pessimistic. Am I? |
t3_1emkeu | relationship_advice | [20/m] My girlfriend (19/f) will go study abroad of 3 years. I need help to cope with it. | We have been in a relationship for almost 2 and a half years. At the beggining she had plans to go study abroad, but changed her mind for various reasons since then. Three days ago a friend of her parents told her to go study abroad and she completely changed her mind. Her mom is hesitant, her dad supports it. And I suggested to complete her bachelor here and go abroad for her masters degree because I will be able to go with her in that case (cannon go now due to financial issues). All in all, it is 99% certain she will go there. I know I need to support her because I really want the best for her but I just break down and start crying like a little bitch randomly... please help me cope with it. We are talking about 3 years... then I'll move in with her. I am lost... | Girlfriend of 2.5 years will go study abroad for 3 years. I need help to cope with it. I am lost. |
t3_1dhpnv | relationships | My[21M] girlfriend[20F] still talks to guys she met on Reddit. | Me and my girlfriend have been together for about two years and recently broke up during January earlier this year but got back together in late March. During that time she frequented ladybonersgw and all those subreddits for women and started talking to them quite often. A week ago before my last final I borrowed her laptop to finish a final and afterwards went on reddit and saw she still talked to some of them, calling them cute and other various compliments. When I asked her about it she blatantly lied to my face saying she met the guys elsewhere and had no idea they were guys at all, when I know for a fact she traded nudes with each of them.
She then went on to say the guy just sent her a baby picture which she could provide no sufficient evidence to back up her claim. My question Reddit is, should I believe what she says when she cant prove what she is telling me? And really what should I do about this whole situation? | My girlfriend still talks to guys she met on Reddit and most likely still trades pictures with them. What shall I do? |
t3_32qfj3 | relationships | my [25 f] long time boyfriend [27] has adult ADD and it's becoming a major hurdle | Oh reddit, I'm not sure what I'm doing here, but I don't know who to talk to…
I care more about my boyfriend more than I ever thought possible. If he asked me for a kidney I'd give it to him in a heartbeat. Problem is he has a different sort of affliction and I don't know how to help him. He has been diagnosed with adult ADD. At first I thought this was no big deal… But despite going to therapy, he seems to be getting worse. It's cost him a lot from jobs to friends. I think part of the problem is he doesn't handle his medication well and tends to get addicted to it.
I love this guy so much, but there's only so much I can help him with. He's not lazy either, and is horribly depressed about his current state of affairs, and just generally seems really lost. I don't want to get mad at him or nag him for the things he misses/his lack of career success. But it's hard not to. Not because I'm mad at him, but I'm mad that we can't move forward until this is resolved - no engagement, house, etc until he's in a good place. I understand this and support him being healthy, but I'm frustrated that he's not in the same state as me right now. As unfair as that is. | my boyfriend has ADD and it seems to be affecting his / our life together. I don't know what to do or how to help. Any redditors out there with similar experiences either from yourself or your partner? |
t3_28x7rh | relationships | I [15 F] am so upset with my exe [18 M]. He's less him and I have theories on why... | So I'm a freshman in highschool and have a senior (now graduated) exe. We dated for 6 months and I was really into him. But after a while I felt the feelings fade and with much hesitation, I broke up with him. After being harrassed and made feel like an ass by his friends, I managed to clear things up between us. Sort of.
He's different now. We both are in new relationships and we still talk but his tone sets me on edge. Whenever we talk it just feels like my head is going to explode from him seeming so careless, like I'm just an attribute to his life now. II feel as if he has the impression he's better than anyone else now. How do I put up with his air-headedness? Do all guys do this or is just him?
How should I feel? | I feel as if my exe can care less if I die,because he's the king of the world. :pp |
t3_1grczz | relationships | [19M]Found out my girlfriend [19/F] is meeting with her ex soon without telling me, is this normal? | So basically me and my girlfriend has been together for 8/9 months (we met at university, both first years, began dating soon after meeting). We both live in different areas of the UK and so are naturaly long distance over summer and the holidays.
Only thing is, around a month ago I see she's started having pivate convo's with her ex on facebook, i kind of over reacted and wasn't sure what to do because they havn't talked since we got together, but apparently they had just been talking a few days and were just 'catching up'.
Now fast forward over a week ago, she stays at my house for a few days because it was my birthday, i snooped around on her phone when she was in the shower only to see she'd been talking with her Ex again on FB around the start of this month, they're planning to meet up soon for a 'catch up' and apparently theres beer envolved because her Ex needs a few weeks so he can get some money for the occasion. I havn't said anything to her but she hasn't mentioned anything about this.
Now she was with her ex for around a year and a half, so I can see why they'd want to meet up or whatever, but why does there have to be booze envolved and I don't see why I've not been informed, I'm just not sure how to approach this to her because to me its a pretty major thing. | University girlfriend is long distance over summer and I found out shes meeting with her ex, she hasn't mentoned it, not sure what to do :/ |
t3_1nntbh | relationships | I'm so confused about my situation. | Not sure if this is the right place to post, but here goes nothing.
Alright, so I (19m) was in a relationship with someone (18f), and it didn't work out because of distance (we were in an LDR for 2.5 years) and because we were going to college (she said we should enjoy the time we have, being young and all). I should also note that we haven't met yet.
Anyways, after we broke up, we still talk at least once a week, versus everyday. We're still friends and love each other, but lately I'm having a really hard time believing this. She had told me she didn't want anything serious right now, which I guess was okay. I respect what she wants. What's really tearing me apart is that she seems to be doing pretty well, whereas I am still heartbroken over the situation. She texted me a couple of days ago that she was starting to hang out with this other guy who's "pretty cool" regularly. She said that he wants to meet her friends so that they can get along better. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like that might expand.
She knows I still have feelings for her, but why would she be telling me all of this? I guess it would be better knowing that she was hanging out with someone, but being pretty descriptive about it?
I am so confused and heartbroken right now. What should I do? | Ex girlfriend of 2.5 years is telling me about this other "cool guy" that she's hanging with regularly. Confused as to why she's telling me details about it when she knows I still have feelings for her. |
t3_4dp45k | relationship_advice | [romantic] I[25F] think it's selfish keep my SO[25m] because of my self sabotaging in life. | I got a great job after months of being unemployed. I struggled with depression and even the motivation to get a job. This one just kinda fell into my lap through a temp agency. I got "sick" today, basically depression said I wasn't going in to work, they should know I am a piece of shit, and that was my day. I slept, dreaming, it's addiction and has hurt my jobs in the past.
My so is a worrying type, he cares about me but I know it's exhausting. Today I told him I skipped work, I had asked for him in text to call me this morning which he forgot about. He didn't know why and I didn't say it was to help me wake up and go to work. He absolutely laid into himself. He was for sure if I was fired it was his fault. He doesn't want me homeless or hungry, he wants me to have a job and knows I am smart enough to be there.
I really feel like I am selfish for loving him and wanting him in my life. As much as I fight for "those with mental illness should be loved too" I don't think it's right for me to be in his life. He'll be hurt but he doesn't love me. I now think this is a good thing. As much as it broke my heart, he already knows loving me would be painful.
Should I seriously limit my contact with him?Right now we see each other so much it's blinded us from issues. Should I tell him my plans for staying apart or just go ahead? | I have clinical depression and I make bad decisions. My SO cares so deeply he'll blame himself for my mistakes. I can't hurt him anymore. How do I help us? |
t3_1amwdx | dating_advice | I [18m] have feelings for a girl [17f] what should i do? | To start off I've known this girl since November, we have hung out 3 times since then but always with a mutual friend and she has expressed interest in hanging out with me when i bring it up, i just well haven't had the chance to hang out with her one on one, recently we hung out at a convention over the weekend and we spent the day together with a couple friends, she is a really nice girl and i just get lost in her eyes and smile whenever i see her, she also has a charming personality and i really want to get to know her and maybe ask her out, but i dont want to mess things up because i feel i really have a shot ,
how should i go about asking her to hang out? i just really want to see her and talk to her, the feeling is pretty overwhelming and it makes me happy just thinking about her, the only problem is that i texted her today just to say " hey whats up" and we had a nice little talk, but all of a sudden she just stopped texting me, i know people have busy lives and this probably isn't a big deal, but i want to see if she would like to hang out with me tomorrow, would it be best if i called her tomorrow and asked? or text her or message her on Facebook tonight? | I really like this girl, and i get really lovey dovey just thinking about her, and i think she likes me but i have barely any experience staring relationships, what should i do? |
t3_427se7 | relationships | My girlfriend (20F) of two years is pressuring me (21M) to move out. | My girlfriend and I both currently live with our respective parents. She works at a department store doing shipping and receiving, and I'm a second year automotive service apprentice (2/4 years for those not in-the-know)
As the title states, she has been getting quite anxious to move out, even more so over the past three or so months. My plan has always been to stay at home for a few more years, as I'm saving for a house. It's been a big goal of mine to put a sizeable amount down on a house, because I'll never save as much money as when I'm living under my parent's roof. This way, I could save for a house, as well as enjoying my project car and both of us being avid outdoors people, we would have the financial freedom to go camping quite a fair bit.
We've talked numerous times about this, and every time ends up with her saying something along the lines of "I want to move out right now, we can save for a house later".
As you may have read, she works at a department store doing shipping and receiving. It's not huge money, and neither is my job right now. I'm on the right track to a career where I will eventually make more money. I've **NEVER** told her this, but I almost consider her job as a "Dead end job". There's no room for her to progress in her company. Other than a yearly $0.50/hr raise, she's pretty much stuck. I've also tried to convince her to go back to college, to find something she enjoys doing and to pursue that, because she'll be at home with her parents and she could afford it. Usually with her saying "But I don't want to leave my current job".
I'm really stuck, I don't know what to say, I don't know what I can offer her. | My girlfriend wants to move out right away, I want to save for a house and live with my parents for a bit. |
t3_37j7s7 | personalfinance | The tale of how my roommate screwed himself over with his car payments (please learn from his mistake) | Roommate started his career with a decent pay on June 2013; In October of the same year, he was able to get his first credit card and started building his credit! One spectacular lifestyle inflation later, he drove away with a brand new 2013 Ford Escape Titanium 4WD - yes, the most expensive version. How was he able to pull it off? His dad (who has a great credit) co-signed his financing loan! How easy was that!?
Payments started - *CDN$324 bi-weekly for 72 months @ 2.49%.*
20 months later - so yesterday - his dad let him know how the cosign was hurting his credit and his ability to get a good rate on a new mortgage. Roommate visited Ford today to get him out of the cosign. They requested a $450 "signing fee". Outraged and unable to pay for it (yay living paycheck-to-paycheck!), he and his parents found another way: *get the bank to finance the vehicle.*
Long story short, the bank gave him a **shitty** deal:
*$312 bi-weekly for 60 months (so 8 more months than original) @ 5.49%.*
And he was PROUD! I quote: "My dad and I made some quick calculations... and turns out I'll be saving a few hundred bucks by the end! I pay less every paycheck, so it's what matters."
No! Do not do this, you brave people! I used Excel and it took me 1 minute of number-inputting to see that he'll pay 3.5K extra by the end of the 60 months.
Do banks always screw people over like this? Probably, I don't personally know. Anyway, ignorance is bliss... so I won't tell him about my "discovery" on Excel, I don't want to make him feel like shit - plus I'm not sure if he had any other choice (other than paying $450). At least his dad will be able to afford a great house! | Roommate would rather pay $12 less per month but for 8 months more (so $3.5K more by the end of it) rather than $450 today. |
t3_2nxdbs | relationships | Me [30M] with my girlfriend [31F] 8 months, mixed signals about having more kids | I [M30] met my girlfriend [F31] 8 months ago. She has two children from previous relationship. They stay one week with us and the next week with their father. We get along really well and I love them very much and treat them as if they were my own. As much as I love having them aroud I also appreciate the week they stay with their father.
We had a talk about having more children early in the relationship. She told me she never wanted to have more children, and two were enough. I told her that is good for me, as I am not sure I ever want to have children of my own, but I am more than happy to be there for her kids. She ensured me that is perfect for our situation, but if I ever changed and I got strong feelings for having more, I should bring it up and we could talk about it.
Now the last 5-6 months we have sometimes joked about having kids. Like "let's go home and make a baby", and every time we see a newborn I can see her ovaries scream. However, she kept telling me she never wanted to have more, it would limit "our time", and we agree if any mistakes should happen (We are using protection), we would not be keeping it.
About two weeks ago, we had another serious talk about it and she told me she wants to have another child with 2-3 years max, before it is too late. I told her I would give it some real thought.
Two days later, she asks if I had thought about it, and I told her I could not make a decision that fast and it would take some time. Then after a week, she informed me that she changed her mind. She does not want to have another child.
I can't figure out it this is a test, or what exactly is going on. I tried talking to her, asking her how it could change that fast. She explained it just did.. no real reason. | We agree on not having more children since beginning. After 8 months, she wants another, but after a week me not giving her an answer, she changes her mind again. |
t3_1yehlo | relationships | Me [24M] with my GF [22F] had been together 1 month, she told me she loved me while we were having sex, I said it back to save awkwardness but didn't mean it... | Sorry about the length, but there is a lot going on here...
At the time, I told her "I love you too" because
a) We were having sex and I was still inside of her, and I figured it would be really awkward if I said anything different, and
b) I assumed I would eventually fall in love with her, so why not just start saying it?
That was 6 months ago. We are still dating, but I still do not feel that strongly about her. She is head over heels in love with me, and I'm the first guy she has said "I love you" to. She is really sweet and I really don't want to break her heart, but I feel like breaking up with her is inevitable because, simply put, I'm just not in love with her.
To complicate things, I moved out of the country for grad school two months ago, so now we are in a long distance relationship. I will be here for the next 2-3 years year-round. Neither of us have the money for her to visit. She wants to stay together (she always talks about the future, about how when I finish grad school we're going to start our lives together, etc.) and I just can't see that happening. I guess I'm being a little too realistic, but I can't help but think that skyping 3-4 times a week for 3 years is really going to work, especially considering my lack of strong feelings for her. Just writing this is making me realize that I probably need to break up with her, but I feel terrible about it, and wouldn't know how to go about doing it even if I decided that's what I am going to do.
If anybody can relate, or has any advice that would be great.
__________________________________________________________ | Gf told me she loves me, I said it back but don't feel the same way. Now in long distance relationship and I think I need to break up with her but feel terrible about it and don't know how. |
t3_19ld3x | jobs | Got the résumé, got the referral, now what? | Hi,
I was lucky enough to know someone that knew someone important in my dream industry. He called me last week and said to let him know which job I wanted to apply for. After looking online, I found a few I matched the requirements on. Question is, he is a high ranking person in the company. He took the time to call me...should I call him back with the information? Or should I email it to him (I have his business email).
If I email, he will get the i formation in writing and it would be easier to forward to the departments he told me about. But I dont want it to seem like I am hiding behind an email if I get nervous talking to him. I also dont want to call and make him take time out of his very busy schedule just to help me, who would just be getting an entry level job in the large company. I get caught up in little details like this.
Any help? | I networked and was connected with a high profile person. Take time to call or email him the info he requested? |
t3_3vj0jb | legaladvice | How screwed is my credit score? | Actually I'm not too sure which subreddit this belongs in, but I am in desperate need of help. Basically I attended school in a different state (Washington) and was living there in an apartment. I finished schooling at the said college and indicated that I would not renew my lease with the complex. I attempted to contact the utilities as well before I left Washington, but it has recently come to my attention that one of the utilities is under my name still. **Here's the kicker** my old roommate has been late paying the bills due to miscommunication per the utilities and myself; sometimes they send the bill to the apartment in the state and some times they send me a bill directly to my house. As such, almost every other month has resulted in a late payment; 60-day late payment over the course of the past year (August 2014 - Now). When the situation was manifested, I began to worry a lot. Despite efforts to reach my roommate and rectify the situation for the past month, they still failed to pay the utility on time; indicating to me that they are irresponsible with on-time payments. I want to try and talk with the utility company but I think they'll think I'm making excuses and it will still affect my credit score; something I need in case I need loans or even taking out a credit card. But there is no way for me to show that to the utility company that my roommate is screwing my credit score so ultimately it looks like I am the one at fault. So how screwed am I and what can I do? | Forgot utility company had my name as primary on utility bill still. Constant late payments due to miscommunication between company and old roommate. Roommate continues to pay late for bills screwing my credit score. |
t3_22zg0f | relationships | Me [20 M] with my now ex SO [20 F] 2.5 years. Is it normal to feel like this. | My SO and I had been dating for 2.5 years. Things were going great until about 1.5 months ago when I started to see I was growing apart from her. Well it got to the point where I could no longer give her everything I ad and be 100% "in" the relationship. I ended it and now I feel like my world has been flipped upside down. I care about her as a person and all but I knew I could not stay in a relationship and lie. Nothing has ever hurt this bad before. So my question is... Is this normal? And whats the best plan to recover? | Broke up with longterm SO. Is it normal to feel awful, and what is the best plan to recover? |
t3_3s0dk0 | relationships | Should I [17M] tell my girlfriend [17F] of over a year that I was kissed while drunk early on in our relationship? | I have been dating my wonderful girlfriend for over a year now, and things couldn't be better. The problem is that about a month into dating, I was at a party, and while I was drunk, another drunk girl that I sort of knew kissed me for a few seconds before I realised what was happening and pushed her away and told her that I have a girlfriend. It was my fault for putting myself in this situation and I'm fully aware of the fact that I fucked up.
I would have owned up to the situation immediately if it wasn't for the fact that I've known my girlfriend for a while before we started dating, and due her parent's ugly divorce that involved infidelity, she is VERY strictly monogamous. Maybe that is just an excuse for not wanting to tell her, I'm not even sure at this point. The guilt has been killing me, and the fact that I love her and see a future with her makes the guilt even more painful. I am contemplating whether I should just tell her what happened, but it seems like a selfish act to hurt her in order to relieve my own guilt. However, I do feel that if she were to find out some other way about what happened, she would be even more hurt. What do I do? | Got kissed at a party early in the relationship, but haven't told my girlfriend. The guilt is eating me up, should I tell her? |
t3_430co6 | askwomenadvice | He hasn't texted me in four days, but he's snapped me? Do I text him? | I'm gonna preface this with the fact that I know this is a silly question that probably get's asked way too often.
But I [22F] have been seeing this guy [23] for four months, and things are going pretty smoothly. Aside from the fact that he usually doesn't reach out to text me first. Which is fine, I have my own life and he has his.
However, four days is longer than usual for us to go without talking. I was the last person to text him (I sent him three messages in a row on Saturday night because I was drunk texting and didn't think about how annoying I was being). He's sent me two Snapchats back and forth since then, but no texts. I really don't want to quadruple text and come off as needy.
Any and all input is appreciated! | Guy hasn't texted me in four days. I last texted him three drunk texts. He's snapped me twice but hasn't texted me. If I quadruple text is that needy? |
t3_cdmdh | AskReddit | Am I obligated to pay a share of the cable bill if I don't watch the TV? | I've lived with two other guys for three years and we're all good friends. When we first moved in, I proposed not getting cable and instead using a media center along with usenet for our media consumption. Roomies objected because they want to watch sports in addition to other content (legitimate point but I don't watch sports). I went with the flow and have since been paying "my share" for three years.
Recently I proposed the idea of not paying a share of the cable bill if other two roomies were not opposed to it. My rationale is that I view it as an unnecessary expense since I can satisfy my TV needs via internet and that I'm broke (I'm in graduate school while roomies both have good jobs). Though I now watch some TV shows via cable (when I'm lazy) I told roomies that I would never touch the TV if they were okay with me not contributing. Roomies objected and were angry that I was being "so selfish". I can afford to keep paying cable bills only with help from my parents who already pay my rent.
Am I completely off base here? Should I continue to pay my "share" of the cable bill, refuse to pay any more, or do something else?
I should mention that the TV is in the living room/kitchen and I will undoubtedly be subject to some passive TV watching while eating and roomies are watching. I also have been the bill administrator for our apartment for the past three years. | I don't want to pay "my share" of the cable bill any more because I can satisfy my tv needs via the internet. Roommates object. What should I do? |
t3_137xpe | relationships | My girlfriend (27) told me(28m) she had feelings for someone else. How'd I do? | Ok right now she's left her computer at my place, and I'm posting here instead of reading her messages without her permission.
A couple of months ago my relationship of about 6 months was in bad shape.
Gf just didn't believe that communicating was worthwhile, her idea was that if there was somthing bad happening, the trick was to ignore it, and spend a few days apart until she'd forgotten about it.
This left me stressing out like crazy.
So she went away for a couple of weeks on holiday, and when she came back I'd composed myself enough to talk assertively, but not accusatorially about what I wanted in order to feel like I was in a relationship. She dug it, but put forward that she might not be able to do be what I want, as she had feelings for her ex. (Who lives in a different city.)
This was shocking, of course.
So here's what I did: I asked what she wanted to do. And also said (politely, if you can believe me) that she was being a jerk.
She said this other dude wasn't really good for her, and that I was, but that her previous relationship had ended for stupid reasons, and felt unresolved. AND that this had been a significant part of the reason she'd been so distant, but that she didn't want to have to confront this (internally), and would rather just ignore the whole thing.
So I felt good that I'd actually found the problem, and told her that I wanted her to confront her feelings, as it was causing her and I real problems.
Then we hung out and took it easy. I brought it up again maybe a week or two later and she said that talking about it had made it go away.
So now I have this girl hanging out, who brings up ideas for our future together, who no longer does things like disappearing for a few days without calling, and, who now believes that communication (done tactfully) is a positive thing. | Gf had feelings for someone else. I think I did good. Everyone tell me that snooping around now would make a trust breaking arsehole. |
t3_2b52ry | relationships | Me 33F, with my husband, 35M, his best friend, 35M, and his wife, 35F. Husband's friend lying to his wife about finances, do I say something? | My husband has known his best friend, "Charlie," since they were in preschool together. Charlie married "Jenny" 3 years ago. I've known Charlie since I met my husband 10 years ago, and I've known Jenny since she met Charlie 5 years ago.
Charlie has always taken some liberties with the truth. I recently learned from my husband that he is not being honest with his wife about their finances. Charlie has a great career and makes a ton of money, I think over $150,000/year. So his wife doesn't work a paid job, she volunteers at an organization that's important to her and plans to be a SAHM when they have kids (they have struggled with infertility).
Through a combination of bad luck and bad decisions (bad investments), Charlie has lost most of their retirement fund, and gotten behind on the mortgage. They bought more house than they could afford and now it's catching up to them.
Jenny is pretty spendy, not in a bad materialistic way, but she apparently has no concept of their financial situation, and Charlie never tries to stop her. (I think a lot of it is guilt over not being able to give her a child yet.) Charlie admitted to my husband that their monthly cash flow is negative right now.
The only person Charlie confides in about this is my husband, and my husband confides in me because he's really worried about Charlie and Jenny. I feel like it's none of my business, but Jenny deserves to know what's going on. My husband's first loyalty is to his lifelong friend, not to Jenny, so he will never tell her what's going on.
Should I butt out or do I have an ethical obligation to tell Jenny what is happening to her financially? | My husband's best friend is hiding their bad financial situation from his wife. I'm worried about them and want to tell her what's going on, but also feel it's not my place. |
t3_locly | AskReddit | Reddit, should I drop out of university? | (Throwaway account, because I've got some friends on here that I don't really want to discuss this with yet.)
Reddit, I'm looking for your thoughts on something that's been really bugging me: Am I wasting my time at college?
I'm in my early twenties and currently studying for a BA in some shit I don't really care too much about that isn't likely to lead me to career that I want in any way at all.
Where I'm from, third level education is affordable, and there's a lot of societal pressure on getting a degree, any degree, if you have the chance, or the ability. I'm not lacking in intelligence, but I am absolutely terrible at being a student: It's like there's a disconnect in my head between the part that's screaming for me to study a reading, do an assignment or attend a lecture, and the part that actually moves my arms and legs. Somehow, up to this point, I've scraped through by the skin of my teeth in almost every important exam, but nothing that could be called "study" has ever happened; not once.
So the ship that was treading water for so many years is sinking quickly, and I don't know if A) I have the power inside of me to pull it back from the brink or B) if it's actually worth all the stress and worry. Just to come out the other side in 2 years with a degree that might get me a shitty entry-level job in an area that I don't want to be in, and that I know I ultimately won't need or use.
I'm curious to know from the BA graduates out there; what has your degree done for you? Particularly those who aren't working, or don't want to work, in an industry related to your studied subject. | I want to run my own bar one day, do you think Descartes is likely to help me in this endeavour? |
t3_3owfx9 | relationships | Me [20m] going through some sexual problems and not over girl I loved [21f] | Alright so this is rather weird for me but I have some issues I need to get off my chest and need help with. It's a bit of a story. So I lost my virginity at 18 to a woman I met online who basically took my everything and I reacted by just not wanting anything because I was confused, I end up regretting this later but she basically came on really hard to me and I was uncomfortable and could barely get hard. I ended up forgetting about it for awhile and moved on and met a really cute girl who happened to be autistic online but she had all the same likes who is the woman mentioned in the title, she told me she loved me and then told me she's moving, we only met once and it fucked me up, she just moved away and to help make myself feel better I broke off all contact with her.
Over the next few years I have random one night stands where I perform subpar and can barely get hard, note I'm a young male who masturbates frequently and seem to have trouble getting up except a few times. The ages of the women range from 25-33. Anyways I still masturbate a lot and believe if I ever find a woman( currently talking to one I'm into now) I won't be able to satisfy her and need some sort of help on what exactly my problem is and if there's a root to it | Girl came on super hard to me and took my everything. I get scared and leave, next girl says she loves me but moves away and doesn't want long distance. Can't perform sexually in future and might have a masturbation problem |
t3_1ep7az | loseit | I need help staying focused and getting through the weekends. | Sorry if wall of text, but would love to hear some of your advice on how to combat and stay focused on the weekends. One side of me says to just man up and stay dedicated to that. Easier said then done.
My work is the 9-5 grind with the weekends off. I sit on my ass all day, and do the gym 5 days a week to fight this off. I eat clean and healthy these 5 days, but when the weekends come it's very hard for me to stay committed. It's always on my mind, and I don't know if i've become obsessed with the sense of staying true to my healthy lifestyle. But I've lost around 40lbs (since February 1) and i still need to lose another 30lbs to get to my target weight. I weigh in on Friday's after the gym and it has been a nice steady lose of 2lbs or more each week. I get excited about it and then the weekends come and I hang with my fiance, and friends. Have my occasional drinks and a few cheat meals, but never nothing too overboard. By the end of the week I feel guilty for drinking the alcohol and having those cheat meals and then my weight spikes up 5lbs or so and then it's back to the weekday workout, healthy eating grind and those 5lbs come off but then the next weekend is there again! Rinse and repeat, and my weight has come to a plateau. How can I stay focused even when pressured to "have fun" and "live a little" when it comes to my weekends. My body doesn't react well to alcohol and eating bad anymore, I feel that it's programmed now only for the healthy and goes haywire when I give it the bad stuff. My fiance, and most of my friends are in shape, and have never been over weight like me. So watching them eat, drink whatever they want kind of pisses me off. I feel like it's a constant battle for me to get through a weekend of clean eating. Any tips or advice to help me stay focused would be greatly appreciated. | Eat healthy & workout during the week, but then Friday night and throughout the weekend I get sidetracked with socializing (drinking, eating out, not working out) |
t3_30lw76 | relationships | Lately I [17M] have been feeling obligated into sex by my girlfriend [17F] whom I love, but am funding some troubles outside the bedroom. | ***Sorry, *finding* troubles.
My girlfriend and I began with carnal relations a few months ago and every time we've gone to the bed room, there are moments where I've had trouble staying "motivated" so to speak. A couple months have past and with that, my performance has increased, but I'm feeling that every time we're alone, I'm obligated to have sex with her. Knowing her, she has a very high sex drive, which lead me to think that maybe I don't have as low of a sex drive. The thing is though, I can only recall a few times in the past couple months where I personally wanted to initiate and have sex. It's concerning me that I won't be able to keep up to my partner in the future and that currently, I'm not completely satisfying her. Apart from the bedroom, there are times when she likes to, for instance, kiss my face or stomach and I always find myself getting irrational and irritated. Apart from the sexual portion of our relationship, we are a strong couple who have been together through alot and I couldn't have asked for a better partner in that regard. What should I do? (Thank you Reddit in advance for this) | My girlfriend and I have a good relationship other than in the bedroom. I always feel obligated and unable to satisfy my partner. What can I do to improve myself for my partner? |
t3_2wkpvw | relationships | My girlfriend (25F) wrongly thinks that I (26M) am a marine biologist, and I don't know how to fix it. | I'm (26M) deeply in love with my new girlfriend (25F), but i'm afraid I'm about to break her heart by telling her the truth.
Our mutual friend Ben set us up. So, on our first date she started telling me how she respects my job so much and she was so excited to meet someone that's working to improve and help the wildlife on our only habitable planet, rather than destroy it with the over-consumption of natural resources. I asked her how she knew what I did for a living, and she told me that she looked me up on facebook where she saw my save the whales' t-shirt in my profile pic. Apparently, she then asked Ben about the t-shirt and what I did and he literally told her that I was a marine biologist!!! But this is not really the case, because instead I work for a large company in the oil and gas sector. I don't know exactly why I let it happen, but I did. I wanted to tell her, but I was already nervous and I have trouble communicating sometimes. I really wanted her to like me I guess.
My biggest fear is that this could actually be a deal breaker for her. She's vegan, drives a prius, and she used to be in an ecology club in college. She also has some minor trust issues from her ex-boyfriend. So this could really hurt her when she finally finds out.
Lately, she has been talking a lot about the keystone pipeline and the environmental impact it will have, which is making me really reevaluate not having told her before, but it's also making me nervous about how she will feel about me when she finds out what I really do and i'm scared she will think i'm some kind of monster.
I've never felt this way about anyone before and I have no idea what to say to her. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to tell her, but the sooner I tell her, the sooner I may find myself without her, and I can't see myself losing all that we have together. How should I tell her? | I'm in love with my girlfriend who thinks im a marine biologist and I don't know how to tell her the truth |
t3_21cs5h | relationships | My [37F] lazy brother [25M/] | I was going to make a longer post with a bunch of back story, but I really don't think it matters. My little brother is a lazy POS. He dropped out of school at 16, never got his GED. He doesn't have his license because he didn't want to pay the extra $50 to transfer it to Massachusetts when he moved from Florida.
He got fired from his job last fall and spent some time in a homeless shelter. He's now living in some sort of group home. He never looked for a job after being fired. His big plan in life is to get on Social Security. He's been diagnosed as Bipolar II, but his illness is nowhere severe enough to prevent him from working, especially since he's on medication. He's just lazy.
I got a form in the mail today from Social Security to fill out about him and how his "disability" effects his daily life. My interactions with him are mostly limited to family holiday gatherings so I really don't know a hell of a lot, but I'll answer the best I can.
I have no intention of lying to the government for him. I asked and was told that my answers are confidential, but to be perfectly honest, I really don't care if he finds out that my answers might foil his plan to become a permanent mooch.
The person I feel really bad for is my father. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to watch his son just waste his life.
I guess I really don't have a question, just looking for some perspective. | Little brother *is* the person the GOP has warned us about, wants me to help solidify his mooching. |
t3_3k1erd | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [19 M] 9months. I'm craving physical attention. It's creeping me out. | I think Something is terribly wrong with me. I've been craving for being cuddled and kissing someone... Those feelings were not very familiar to me, until recently. Whenever im around my boyfriend some spark goes off ..and I feel like just touching him ,holding his hands, kissing his neck.
I can't focus on what he's saying or look into his eyes.. I'm just constantly starring at his neck hands ... I'm so creepy :O
I just can't overcome these feelings that I'm having.
Every morning I wake up I kind of imagine him cuddling me and wouldn't want to get out of bed.. (I'd spent a night with him ,we just cuddled and kissed, that morning was so beautiful, that I wish to have it everyday).
I just hope ,he doesn't realize that I'm not giving him enough attention as much as our physical relationship. He's not so physical kind of a guy. He wants to wait for the right time . | I feel like kissing and hugging(like we did when we spent the night together) him all the time. Does that make me creepy? I wasn't like that before. |
t3_1aqn8k | relationship_advice | {23F} can't seem to get my point across without loosing my cool with fiance [25M] | He has always had trust issues because of the terrible people in his past, we decided to travel the world together, got engaged and he has grown and matured so much as a person and it has been amazing to see the progress he has made as far as rational thought, trust and understanding go.
I've always been fiercely independent so this relationship has been a steep learning curve for me and learning that being my own person doesn't mean I have to be alone, travelling was my idea and he decided he couldn't loose me and wanted to come with. We have been travelling for almost 3 years and I'm concerned about his lack of independence or level of dependence, travelling doesn't really foster an environment or independence but we have been semi-settled for a year now and it has just dawned on me that we have spent barely any time apart at all and he avoids being alone quite rigidly.
Now I've been invited to a hens party, it is a weekend long event, male strip club and pub crawl through London, I'm very excited and really happy to have been invited but there is a part of me who thinks I wont be 'able' to go, he wont want me gone for that long especially in London without him, he will use any excuse I think, he will say it is unsafe, why do I want to go I wont know many people, it is too expensive, it is so long, I don't want you staying in London alone, I'm your fiance you have to listen to me etc etc etc And I will get REALLY ANGRY, we will fight over it and he will pack a massive sad and I will end up not going to appease him. I will be angry and resentful and inevitably we will carry on. Yes I could just go despite him but it would be a nightmare to deal with.
How can I make him see my independence as a good thing, how can I make him understand that letting me go have fun alone sometimes isn't going to hurt our relationship, and finally how can I explain all this to him and win so that I can go to this celebration and not feel like a bitch for leaving him 'alone all weekend'... | fiance is overprotective and I wan't to go to a hens party weekend, how can I make him 'let' me |
t3_41c1wn | relationships | Me [25 M] with my sister [31 F], worried about making her feel awful after I accidentally got my girlfriend pregnant while she's been have significant infertility issues. | So, my girlfriend has accidentally become pregnant last month. (not 'accidentally', but not with any real intention. We weren't trying particularly hard to prevent it, but we hadn't intended for it to happen either). We haven't told anyone yet, but most people we know will be totally ok with it, except my sister.
She has been married for 6 years, and was trying to get pregnant for most of that time. Her and her husband spent around $25k on IVF treatments, and ended up having a very late term stillborn (34 weeks). They tried again and very recently finally had a child.
I feel like they are quite resentful of the entire process and while they try to hide it, I can see them trying hard not to get upset at larger families etc. They wanted more than one child (they built a 5 bedroom house before they got married), but it's looking very unlikely at this point.
I feel as though I will never be able to comfortably discuss babies/children with my sister, and I fear that it will dig a massive wedge between us. | My girlfriend is unintentionally pregnant and I'm worried that it will cause friction between me and my sister who has had severe issues conceiving. |
t3_2exc1z | relationships | Me [29F] with my room mate [29F] friends for 10yrs, should I try to help/say something about her unhealthy habits? | I have been friends with her since our college years and she has always been a bigger girl. Truly, she has a body shape that would always be described as curvy or maybe even chubby. On the other hand, I'm a naturally slim person (though I do work out 4-5 times a week and eat mostly very healthy with the occasional indulgence).
She is about 5'5" and I'm guessing weighs 180lbs.
She is gaining more weight and has been for some time. Ie, dresses she bought last summer couldn't fit her this summer. She is addicted to diet pepsi and probably drinks 2-3 large glasses every evening (That I can see, who knows what she drinks during the day). She also eats chips or buttered popcorn, or something similar every single night. Her meals are usually some kind of meat, with potatoes and a mac and cheese or a lipton "sidekicks" thing. Rarely does she touch a salad or have a piece of fruit.
I've also noticed some hygiene stuff.. she never washes her hands after using the toilet, and she never brushes her teeth before bed.
Anyways, she regularly makes remarks putting herself down about her weight, calling herself fat, etc. I never know what to say in these moments.. I try to tell her it's in her head, but the truth is she is right. She is too big, and is only getting bigger, and it's due to her inactivity and poor food choices. As a friend, I'm worried for her health (Esp with things like the teeth brushing). I'd really like to see her make some positive changes, but I'm not sure how (or if) I should bring this up to her, especially since she's always complaining about her size. | Roommate makes very unhealthy choices, has some hygiene issues, and complains about her weight regularly. Do I say that I think she needs to make some lifestyle improvements, or let her realize this on her own? |
t3_2assr1 | running | What will it take for me to become a high school state level cross country runner? | I'm approaching my senior year. I've been going alone for a while now; during the school year my runs were pretty sporadic in my 2nd semester due to not having a coach, and this summer I designed my own workout schedule and hired a personal trainer. My personal trainer says he can help me build my base at the gym (core, yoga, etc), but the rest is up to me.
I have been running a 10K everyday since the start of the summer, taking only Sundays off. Saturdays I do my long runs, which range from 11-14 miles. After recently timing myself, I found that my 5K (when I run alone) is 17:12. My mile is 4:54.
Do you have any advice for me and other runners in a similar status as I? For example, what workouts should I commit to, what should I avoid, what are some great sources, etc.
I have searched the internet for a while, and it seems that everything I find only pertains to grown adults that are trying to get in shape/ training for a marathon. | district is in November and I want to make it to state. Currently at a 17:12. I've only been doing mileage training this summer and core. What is your advice? |
t3_1c2oup | relationships | What does redefining a relationship mean? (20F / 28M) | *A little background* : When we met in the US, we were together for 2 months and a half, pure bliss. I went home (France) and it was the dream for 5 months of distance (gifts, constant texting, love notes etc.), then he came to visit and stayed with me for 3 months (we were both extremely happy the entire time), we then flew together to the US to meet his family (he had never introduced them to any girlfriend).
*So back to now*, we have been together for almost 1 year. but when I came back home this time, it wasn't the same. He almost never messages me (we don't skype or call), and even confessed that it sucked in all his life to put efforts into our relationship the first time we were long distance. He told me that he loves me but that our feelings are all that's left, now he wants to "redefine our relationship". I am lost. | Long distance boyfriend says our love is all we have left, asks to redefine our relationship. What does it mean? |
t3_119yqj | relationships | does a girl[20] I thought I was just friends with have the right to be mad at me[M/20] for getting with another girl? Read before you blast me... | First of all, cheers to me for my first reddit post...here goes.
Me [M/20] recently ended it with a girl whom I was dating for a year and wanted to 'get back in the game' per say. But as some may know a girlfriend/boyfriend who your with for a long time becomes a very close friend in addition to companion. When I broke up with my girlfriend I lost a best friend as well. Recently I met a new girl who is super cool and I love spending time with her. We've been talking for awhile and I've told her offhand on occasions that because I just got out of a relationship I couldn't consider starting or being exclusive with someone else just because it wasn't what I was looking for, and she would often agree and say the same. Not like she was specifically asking me these things, it just came up in conversation. A couple months passed and we grew a little closer and one night we ended up sleeping together. After that nothing really changed, at least on my side but it happened two more times. While this was happening I was still going on as if we were friends and everything was the same. We talked alot, hung out, and whatever. Then one night while I was out I ended up going home with another girl and somehow she found out. Not like I was trying to keep a big secret, I would've most likely told her anyway. She was pretty mad and will barely talk to me. To me it was clear that we were friends but she may have thought otherwise I assume, even though I pretty much made it clear. | I met a girl I treated as a friend and after a couple of months we ended up sleeping together and then I slept with another girl and now she's mad at me. |
t3_1fumti | relationships | A girl from high school [21F] is married to an old friend and keeping me [20F] on her "radar" | First of all, apologies if this is on the wrong sub :/ I'm not sure which one it'd fit best in.
Long story short.. This girl married a guy that I was really good friends with/ had a slight crush on before they started dating in high school. I stopped talking to him as much out of respect to them, but she liked rubbing the relationship in my face daily. I'd ask her to stop, but it just get worse every time I brought up that it was bothering me. I guessed that this was out of defense, but I was never a threat to their relationship at all. The guy never expressed interest in me at all and of course like I said, I distanced myself from him when they started dating to avoid being seen as a threat. Despite my efforts, she told people that I had been trying to break them up and that she had "won" him over me. I cut her and the guy out of my life.
Now, 4 years later, she's trying to be friends with me again. She's only nice to me when we're around her husband and hasn't offered me an apology. It's really clear that she doesn't like me at all. All of my friends say that she's keeping me on her "radar" for some reason. I haven't talked to her husband in years and I barely ever see them. Yet, she's following all of my social networking sites while I don't follow hers. I can't confront her about it or else she'll most definitely play the "she's trying to break us up" card. I'd really like to just live my life without having to see her name with his last "liking" all my posts and her keeping a watchful eye over me. However, I feel awful if I just block her from everything. It'd make me look like the bad guy because she always plays the innocent card to everyone she knows. What should I do? | A girl from high school who dated/married one of my old good friends keeps a watch on me and sees me as a threat even though I'm far from. |
t3_4io33h | relationships | Me [25 M] with my recent girlfriend [20 F] have been dating for just a few short weeks, but she's overwhelmed with how quickly things have escalated | Met this girl on Tinder about a month go. We hit it off immediately: mutual attraction, mutual interests, mutual friends (by chance). Our chemistry was great, the sex has been great. However, a few days ago, she told me we needed to talk.
One week before "we need to talk" we had a long weekend together, and during that weekend I dropped the "I love you" and we had the boyfriend/girlfriend talk. It was only about 3 weeks into hooking up and even knowing each other. She immediately reciprocated both the "I love you" and agreed we were dating/bf/gf.
Basically, when we talked to the other day, she mentioned that she just wasn't ready for the I love yous, the label on the relationship, and generally how quickly things were moving. She wants to take "a few steps back." Of course, I obliged. The ball is now in her court. For the month we were dating, I had control of the wheel, steering the path of our relationship. Now she has control, and I respect that. Do y'all recommend I just wait until she contacts me? She said she would, she just needs space and time. Do I move on and start dating others? Forget about this one? I legitimately like her, and hope we can continue to see each other in the not too distant future. | dated a girl for three weeks, told her i loved her, she got cold feet a few days later. she needs time and space: do i simply wait for her to initiate contact again? |
t3_vw7f2 | AskReddit | My rental truck's brakes failed and caused an accident; also airbags did not deploy despite serious damage to front of truck. Should I sue the company? | Heres my story, Reddit:
Today I was driving the moving van I rented when the brakes gave out completely, causing an accident. Upon renting the truck I noticed I did have to press the brakes down hard to get it to stop, so I drove more cautiously. Today, I was going about 10the miles an hour, and pressed the brakes to begin to slow down behind the car infront of me. Only the truck didn't sloe down. I pressed the brakes to the floor, and nothing happened. I was going downhill, so the truck began speeding up. I slammed down on the brakes 2 more times, and nothing happened still. I was about to hit the RangeRover infront of me, so I tried to shift into park as a last ditch effort, but was unable to.
I slammed into the car infront of me, and they hit the car infront of them. The car directly infront of me was driven by an elderly man and woman from a french-speaking country who were very upset. The person infront of them, that they in turn rear-ended, was a 20-something Japanese American. The elderly's car was a 2009 RangeRover, the younger man's car was a custom made 85,00$ SSI imported from Japan, that had just gotten out of the customs shop yesterday. No one was hurt in the accident, and everybody's cars will be covered completely, but my question is should I sue the truck rental company?
The accident was caused by the truck's brakes failing completely. Also, after the crash, I realized neither my nor the passenger airbag deployed. The truck was smashed clear to the engine block, which did catch in fire at one point, and neither airbag deployed. My neck and back very sore, as I would imagine for everyone else involved in the accident. What do you guys think?
It's infuriating to think that all of the damage caused by this is due to tge rental company's carelessness, which is why I am considering a lawsuit. The poor elderly family was very emotional and the young man was obviously pissed about his brand new (and frankly badass) car getting it's back end smashed. | Accident caused by rental truck's brakes failing, also airbags are faulty. No one hurt, all damage is covered, but should I sue the truck rental company for having such a piece of shit truck rented out carelessly? |
t3_24uuxo | relationships | I [18F] recently got into a new relationship 18 [M] but past experiences have left me terrified | I'll try to make this fairly brief;
Around 7/8 months ago I was dumped, it came out of the blue and it's taken me a while to realise my ex was a complete cunt and it was for the best.
About a month ago I started dating my boyfriend, it's absolutely perfect (well, so far, you know, it's only been a month), but he's absolutely amazing and supportive... well perfect. The problem is we're long distance, and whenever he goes home I become paranoid he doesn't want me or going to leave me and I don't want to be hurt like I was last time. I want to make it stop before it gets problematic, before we got in a relationship I had pretty high self esteem, but it's just hit a new low now we're together and I feel like I'm not good enough.
I tell him how I feel but I'm worried in the end he won't be able to cope with it and will leave me for sure, because this is the only cause of worry in our relationship. Aside from telling me to see a counsellor (which I will be doing from next week) is there any other advice you could give to help? | In a relationship for a month, for the past week have been worried about my boyfriend leaving me caused by paranoia from my last relationship ending abruptly. |
t3_2tjm5r | relationships | I [23 M] can't stop thinking about my ex. It's been almost 3 years. | I don't even know where to begin, and quite honestly, I feel like a fool for even having these feelings. I honestly believed I was over her. I still believe I am.
Let me start by giving you a brief timeline of events Met her in elementary school, we became best friends in middle school, decided to try dating in high school, didn't work out and we stopped talking for about a year. We reconnected, started dating again for almost a year, she called it quits because I wasn't doing my part (still had a lot to learn about relationships), we talked on and off for about a year after, and then I cut off communications because I believed I needed to move on.
That was 2 year ago. Since then, I would say she hadn't really crept into my mind at all. I have had pretty healthy dating and sex life, I've gotten my life together (was jobless and not going to school when we broke up), I would say I was doing pretty damn good for myself. Still am. Well this past week, I don't know what triggered it, but she's been appearing in my dreams. What's worse is it's so vivid, I can see every detail of her eyes, her smile, the way she laughs.
I feel god awful about it because I'm dating this really sweet girl at my college right now (it's been going on for a few months). But now my ex is in my head pretty much all day every day, and I'm thinking of everything that made me fall so hard for her before, all the little things. I honestly don't know if I should let this pass, or if this is a sign of what I really want. | Can't stop thinking of my high school sweetheart that I haven't seen in 3 years because I've been dreaming of her, don't know what I should do |
t3_1g2h1e | relationships | I [F20] can't get over trust issues with my boyfriend [M21] and don't feel happy anymore | I started dating a guy about five months ago. We're both juniors in college and we've decided to stay together over the summer, although we live about three hours apart. I only get to see him every few weeks.
At the beginning of our relationship I had trust issues with him (I've been cheated on in the past) and thought I was past them but long distance is bringing them back with a vengeance.
He's such a sweet guy and I can tell he does care about me but I can't stop reading too much into everything he does. When I'm not with him, I worry constantly that he's interested in someone else. When I *am* with him, I worry constantly about who he's texting, etc.
I don't want to bring this up with him because we've already talked about it several times and I don't want to keep bothering him for emotional support.
But the truth is that I have a bad gut feeling I can't get rid of and it's making me so unhappy I want to get out of the relationship.
I really like him, but I'm struggling. | I had trust issues with my boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship and now that we're long distance they're back and I'm not happy anymore |
t3_1qcfd7 | Dogtraining | My dog has some really bad habits, and I don't know where to start. | I have a 14 month old female Sheppard/ cattle dog mix. She was a stray and only been with me for 3 months. She's really high energy and when she is left at home even for an hour or two she will chew anything she can find at her head level.
I thought I had broken the habit but recently she has upped it to starting to chew our furniture and rugs. and she's getting into every single corner of the house and will chew anything and climbs onto the counters knocking everything down onto the floor.
We rarely catch her doing any of this because it only happens when she is alone in the house. I quite sure she has some separation anxiety but I also have no idea how to begin fixing that either. | Dog chews anything she can get her hands on, even furniture. Suspected separation anxiety and no clue where to start to fix all this. |
t3_347dcn | relationships | Me (32m) with my gf (24f) of 7 months found porn on my phone, despite being sexually open, and she left me to go stay elsewhere for a few days and wont talk to me. | My gf asked to use my phone to look for some pictures that i had, and i had 4 pictures of some pornstars on my camera roll. Nothing disgusting, just mildly graphic. She has always told me that me watching porn doesnt bother her, but she completely stopped talking to me and left the house. She told me she is staying away for a few days, and called me a pig. I feel awful, because i think she got offended that the pictures were nothing like her, but i cant be sure. i have no idea what to do, because i am completely blown away that she would be so understanding about porn, has even caught me masturbating before and joined in with me, but now is so disgusted. | sexually open gf saw pictures of pornstars on my phone and called me a pig and left for a few days, now isnt talking to me. |
t3_4mkoh2 | relationships | I [22F] asked this guy [26 M] to go out. He said yes then changed his mind, now I'm super confused. | During finals week, I had asked this guy who was my TA to go out with me after the semester so that we would be ethically in the clear. I have other friends who are also TAs and they assured me that there is no school policy forbidding TAs from going out with ex-students so I went for it. When I asked him he paused and said "Oh really?" and I nodded to assure him that I wasn't joking. He paused again, smiled and nodded and said "I don't see why not. Email me after the semester and we can set it up."
So I waited until after the semester and tried to set up a date. He replied two days after I emailed him saying that he's not comfortable dating a student and that it's not a good look on him.
This confuses me since he was kidding around with me like I was a friend (as in, if the nature of our relationship was truly student-teacher than it was highly inappropriate). I am further confused since obviously I'm not since student anymore and I purposefully waited so that it wouldn't be an issue. Plus, if he is truly uncomfortable dating a student, wouldn't he have said no in the first place? Should I have expected this to happen?
I mean I understand people can change their mind, but it seemed that he changed his mind abruptly and I thought we had a thing going on. | I asked this guy out, he said yes then backed out when I tried to set up the date. I don't know how to react or what to think about it. |
t3_4nm5ie | relationships | help !! What should I do? (m18) with a gf is wreaking havoc with my (F 17) head | I met a boy the other night and he has a girlfriend. He asked me to kiss his friend, to which l said no, and kept joking With me about it. We were getting along well but not flirting, in fact we were talking about how great his gf is. (They have only been going out for a week but have been flirting for months and they are great together)
I got a lift home from the party with his sister and I sat in the back with him and his friend whom he wanted me to kiss. We all were having such good fun and back and forth banter when he set his hand on my leg, but I thought nothing of it. Then he pulled a hoodie off the floor and threw it over me. To my shock, he slid his hand between my legs and started feeling my thighs but said nothing of it and pretended it wasn't even happening. Since his sister was in the car I pretended to be oblivious to it also as I didn't want to embarrass him or cause a scene. He started sliding his hand up higher so I put my hand in to stop him and show him the limits, especially since he has a girlfriend!! Immediately he held my hand in his and began stroking it and to my surprise I left it there. So we were in the car holding hands in secret beneath a hoodie which no one was aware of except us. It really was a guilty pleasure I didn't wanna let go but I knew I had to. Soon we were at my house and as I got out, not a word was said about it. He added me on snapchat the next day and followed me on Instagram and we started talking. He lives very nearby and I have countless mutual friends with his girlfriend. I don't know what to do, I feel guilty but in that moment i didn't feel like I could do anything.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? | basically boy i just met who has a gf held my hand and touched my legs in secret the whole way home. I don't know what I should do. |
t3_ohtat | AskReddit | Reddit, I am helping a friend of mine and my local Friends & Family of the Disabled Society start a gym for the disabled, more inside! | Reddit,
We live in a developing country, where barely anyone pays attention to the smaller things in life. Understandable, since 99% want to keep their heads above water in difficult economic times. As a result, anyone who takes interest in the disabled community has probably been affected by it one way or another (instead of getting involved strictly for philanthropy, because, again, no time or energy, and sometimes it's pure apathy).
Going that extra mile and starting a gym for the disabled is something completely new to the community, and will definitely be a great way to move forward toward inclusion.
I tried to Google a few articles about sports for the disabled, gyms for the disabled,... and the results weren't very pleasing, nor specific. And I was wondering if Reddit can direct me to sources that will help us form a better picture of how to move forward in our plans, give us ideas, tell us what you know about gyms for the disabled, just any thoughts or ideas you have will help us, and we'll be grateful! | we're starting a gym for the disabled, need sources, ideas, suggestions as to where we can start and how to make it a successful project (in a small, developing, and somewhat apathetic, country). |
t3_3arm30 | tifu | TIFU by losing my money clip with my Drivers License and $600 cash | So this story starts about 3 years ago it was hot af out side and I was wearing jeans at the time I had 600$ on me because I was going to buy a car this day but the ~~buyer~~ | TIFU by losing $600 and drivers license, only to find out some bozo found it and got a $286 non reversable speeding ticket in my name while I have a suspended license. |
t3_2bbv9c | relationships | 25[m] Indecisive about relationship with 25[f] SO. Need help organizing my thoughts. | My SO and I are currently living together and have hit another roadblock. We fight a lot when we go out together usually, but other than that we get along great. I feel we are very compatible yet sometimes wonder whether or not I should break things off.
I struggle with the grass is always greener mentality, because I really enjoy my freedom. I'm so indecisive about a lot of things in my life that it puts a strain on our relationship. I'm a very solitary person but have been able to make things work with us living together, and mostly it's been positive.
I've expressed my concerns about our future, my biggest being my internal struggle. She thinks i'm trying to get her to break up with me so I won't feel bad, subconsciously that might be true. She said she's willing to commit to our relationship even after I expressed my concerns (don't know if i ever want kids, unknown career path etc.), but I don't want her to get burned if things don't work out. She's such a good person that I want the best for her as well as myself.
People say go with your gut, well I have no idea what it's telling me. I really am a solitary person but don't want to regret leaving her. We've put a lot of work into our relationship up to this point, I just worry about my indecisiveness costing her a better future with somebody else.
Sorry for the rambling, had to scribble this out on my phone and my thoughts are very scattered at the moment. Not looking to be given the answer because that will have to be my own choice, but maybe you guys can help me sort through some of this. | Indecisiveness about what I want and my solitary nature is hurting our relationship. Also, struggle with 'grass is greener' mentality. |
t3_1p0pnw | relationships | Me [28 M], wondering what I'm doing wrong! | I like to think I'm a good-looking guy. I'm nice and witty, get along well with people socially, am wealthy (over 100k/year), and have a Ph.D. Soon to be a professor at a well-respected university. I only say this to juxtapose my success in work with my lack thereof in relationships.
I consider myself a catch, but am modest as well. I don't flaunt things, but I can pick up the check and am a gentleman when on dates.
The problem is in getting dates. Seriously, I develop positive friendships with girls and am not overly nice or sensitive to be seen as weak or anything. We get along well and laugh, but when I ask them if they'd like to go out to dinner or do something one-on-one, it's been repeatedly an "I just want to be friends" or "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now".
It's reached a point where it's become pretty disheartening, but less in a giving up sense than a let's figure this out and understand what I need to change. I have the mentality that women want to be around confident guys who are wealthy, nice, smart and fairly good looking. I'm not a knockout but am pretty normal--5'9", 160lb. With boots, maybe 6'0" :) So if this is always what people say they are looking for, why aren't girls lining up to go out with me (joking), or at least being more willing to go out? I live in a college town, so that could be it, regarding meeting girls in the 23-28yo range--most women are undergrads. Help me think this through and improve my dating stock! | Think I have everything a woman would seek in a potential partner, no one willing to accept a date offer. Why oh why. |
t3_1bn8uc | relationships | I [16f] have been dating my college boyfriend [17] for a year and a half. My parents do not know.. | I met him in high school and we started dating his senior year and my sophomore year. He is currently a freshman at a college not too far from me so we see each other as often as the typical semi-long distance couple would. Our relationship is great and we really make the other happy. His parents know. He grew up in an easy-going family. My problem is I have extremely strict, unfair parents. They don't allow me to date. I can't date until college, no exceptions, no negotiations. I can't be without this guy. We broke up once but realized we needed each other. I'm planning on waiting till college to tell my parents. Please understand that there is absolutely no way my parents will budge or permit it, trust me. My boyfriend does not care that my parents don't know, he just wants to be with me.
Am I wrong here at all? | I have strict parents who won't let me date, and my relationship has been kept a secret for 1.5 years |
t3_1oem1j | relationship_advice | Should I [24/M] breakup with my boyfriend [26/M] | Let me start off with this is a little awkward for me, asking advice from a bunch of strangers, but I need some objective third party advice, so here goes.
As the title suggests, I'm gay and have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. When we first started dating he was very upfront about him being an alcoholic, but as I did not have much experience or knowledge about the disease at the time I decided to go ahead and start dating him anyway. At first, things were great as they usually are at the beginning, but a couple of months in the disease starts to show itself. At first it was just a couple of isolated incidents, but then that started to spiral out of control. Fast forward to today and he is in rehab trying to get help, but I feel like a lot of damage has been done, and I don't know if we can repair our relationship at this point. Not all of the damage done has been by him; I haven't been the nicest person either when he drinks. I do love him, but is that enough?
One major complication is that currently I live with him and his parents and cannot support myself financially to move out until December (currently I'm student teaching which does not pay nor does it leave much time to have an outside job). I do have some friends that said that I could move in with them if I need, but again I don't know if I'm ready to take that step. I feel very conflicted because I don't want it to seem like I am simply staying with him to have a place to live, but on the other hand things are very different from what they used to be.
Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. | My boyfriend is in rehab for alcoholism and I'm debating on whether I should break up with him and move out of his parent's house. |
t3_27r6pz | relationships | Confused and afraid. (20F) and (21M) been together 3 years. Not sure if I love him anymore. Need advice. | Any advice is appreciated! My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together 3 years. He is amazing. He is funny, selfless, smart, kind, and good looking. About 2 years ago I moved away to school and he stayed and traveled to a school near our hometown. We have been making it work and he visits often. While here at school I met many people but I have this guy friend who recently confessed to liking me. Lately I find myself falling out of love with my boyfriend. In all honesty, he is the only guy I have ever really been with. I am not entirely sure if these feelings are developing because my guy friend likes me (even though I do not know exactly how I feel about him) or because I honestly have just fallen out of love. I've considered ending it with him but many things have come up in that decision.
What if I regret it?
He has a great family that loves me. What if he does take me back and they hate me for putting their son through that?
What if I never meet anyone like him again? He is so good to me.
I'm also afraid to hurt him like that. He is a good guy.
Sometimes I feel like he could do better than me. I do not always treat him like he treats me. He also has a very high libido, which I do not have. That can make it hard when he is constantly grabbing my butt or trying to make out with me. This makes me feel distanced from him. I understand these are things I should talk about with him...but that is who he is. I do NOT want him to change for me.
I also fear that I would miss his friendship. I am beginning to view us as friends and not as boyfriend and girlfriend. We have the same sense of humor and constantly joke around, but I find myself getting bored during sex or sexual tasks. I no longer WANT to do them with him. It isnt exciting.
Some advice reddit? What should I do? Im freaking out over here. | Young girl and her high school sweetheart may be hitting a rough path. Not sure what to do. Should she leave him or go. He is a great guy but they may be just too different. |
t3_m47np | AskReddit | What should I put on my sign? | I live in downtown Atlanta where the Occupy Atlanta protests are being held. I am not apart of the protests, but I do like to go and watch the police shut it down. The problem I have with the protesters is that when the police come, the crowd turns hostile toward the officers. They stop protesting corporate greed (or whatever they deem 'unfair') and begin to yell rude things at the officers.
Again, I firmly believe in their right to protest, but there's no reason to take out their anger on these police officers who haven't pulled and Oakland stunts and have maintained a professional air during the entire situation. These officers are called back on duty every night and hardly get to sleep or see their family.
I want to boost police morale and show them that I think they are doing a wonderful job of keeping their composure with all that's being said to them. What should I write on my own picket sign that shares my views with the police? | Occupy Atlanta protesters think that the police are treating them like Freedom Riders in New Orleans (and the police are not), and I want to show the police that I support them. What do? |
t3_1bu9ss | relationship_advice | Been affected for TOO long, my academics, health, sanity, happiness...All from this FRIENDSHIP. PLEASE hear me out reddit. | Hey reddit, This is SLIGHTLY long but PLEASE please hear me out.
I'm just so down in the dump b/c i've been having this feud with my bestfriend for a while now since February. She keeps saying she's fine but secretly she'll be all pissed at me and not tell me, which always results to me asking her whats wrong and such. She thinks i've been a bad friend to her and not treating her like a real friend. What she says to me like how everything is going to be OK is FAR from what she tells her other friends (she hates me and never wants to talk to me again). I've apologized countless and multiple times that I don't even know what i'm apologizing for anymore.
I constantly think she's mad at me, I feel so paranoid. I think about our problems literally EVERYDAY since February. She always CLAIMS she's not mad but she IS and then she'll block me on various networking sites which will result in me asking her why she's doing this. Honestly...Some days I won't even talk to her and she'll spontaneously just block mr...
I really don't know what to do. I constantly think that I don't want this friendship to just die. Yet at the same time she has this mentality drilled in her that I lied to her about so and so things which i've tried to clarify multiple times that i didn't. I want it to die out but not with her thinking that it was all my fault...
SIGH reddit please help... I have exams soon and honestly I can't even deal with this right now. Just out of the BLUE today she blocks me again and it just RUINED my day. Every time this happens my heart DROPS and I feel SO shitty and alone.
I don't understand, if she never had an intention of mending things to begin with then why did she say things were ok? And then proceed to hurt me like this and always get angry at me without me knowing why...
I'm just so confused and sad and I really don't know what to do... | Friend hates me but pretends she doesn't. Goes on a blocking spree out of nowhere and never confronts me about anything. Really really hurts me... |
t3_v24yb | relationship_advice | (19/m) My exGF(19/f) of two years dumped me a little more than a month ago. She knows I'm talking to other girls, now she wants to get back together. | We both went to separate colleges and kind of grew apart. When she broke up with me I was devastated because I loved the girl to death. I kind of saw it coming, but I knew that if we could just make it to summer it would be fine.
The summer started off rocky, with us still adjusting to single mode. We didn't hang out and rarely talked. Last week I made a concerted effort to become friends with her. I let her choose where she wanted to go and do and we had a blast the three times we went out. Yesterday while we were out I inadvertently showed her a text describing an upcoming date I was planning with another girl. That night I was drunk at a friends and needed a ride so she came and picked me up. We went to my house and I admitted to her that I wasn't happy in our hometown anymore. In my mind I knew it was because of her, but I'm not a dick and simply said I wasn't happy. She then starts crying and admitting she made a horrible mistake by dumping me. She claims that the past week or so has been just like when we started dating and she loved it. Furthermore, she said that she couldn't see me dating other girls and she wants me back. We ended up making out and having sex (I was drunk, remember?) and now I'm sitting here with a text from her unsure how to respond.
I still am really into the girl and would like to take her out and see where things go, but I don't know what to do. I've been talking to another girl, but obviously my feelings for my ex are stronger. I feel like this wouldn't even be happening if she wouldn't have seen that text. I guess some girls just want what they can't have. Advice? | EX is back in town. We've gone out a few times, she saw a text discussing a date with another girl. Yesterday we hooked up and she admitted she wants me back. |
t3_2k8gt6 | relationships | We both "cheated" we thought we were past it...need advice. | Background story: My S.O. [25m]and I[24]have been together almost 3 years, with one break up only lasting from the beginning of June to the end of August. Now...the initial cause of us breaking up was my infidelity.
Save the "you're horrible" shit, that's not the point. We remained close friends through out our break.. I saw one person, the person I cheated with, and he wasn't able to move on yet. Well...my (ex) best friend and roommate started talking to him behind my back..and lied when I would confront her. I know because he told me everything. And we even set it up to get her to leave him alone cause she couldn't take the hint.
They hung out a few times to my knowledge and few times unknown. I was against this because K(her) knew I still had feelings for him, I knew she was going to do to him as she had done to me..which was lie steal and use him. Anyways, I had a feeling the one time I knew they hung out that something had happened and I was lied to by both of them. But finally, I asked once more and she was honest with me. I was raged but it subsided over a few days. Well a few days later more truth has come out.
At that point, seeing how badly it hurt me showed me how much I cared and still loved him so. We decided to make things work. Not try, but do. We had a long heartfelt conversation and had decided to not bring it up anymore. That we could not allow our past to effect our future. Now that was in August. Being now, the end of October...I have just about completely forgot about the whole thing regarding him and her. Today he tells me that he still hates his self and how much he hurt me and broke promises. I dunno how to assure him that there's no need to dwell on it. We're getting married in a week and I really do not want to go into our marriage with this...baggage. | I had an affair, we split, found out stuff about him and my best friend, we're soon to be wed. But our forgive and forget isn't working on his self. :( |
t3_1kgybx | relationships | I [23F] am concerned with my boyfriend [23M] of 6 months consistent tiny lies | Since we started dating my boyfriend has consistently told me minor white lies.
He seems to not what to disappoint me/others ever, so if I ever invite him, or if friends invite him to something he doesn't want to come to, he tells us the most respectable answer (I am spending time with my grandparents/ I am studying/ I will be working sooo late in the lab) but then I find out later he was doing something else (Watching the game/ tv show/ chillin at his house).
The thing is I have no problem with him just being like, I feel like staying in tonight. I would rather he just be honest!
Its especially hard because I often catch him in the lies by overhearing conversations with him and others, or looking at his phone while he texts others (I will see him texting someone about how he spent all last night watching the game, when say he told me that he was at the lab all night) so its hard for me to confront him without seeming like I am snooping. The thing is its not really snooping because hes texting them in front of me.
I also feel a little insulted he doesn't think I have caught onto him. He is not doing a great job of lying and its been very easy to hear inconsistencies in his story thus far. He is not even going through the effort of lying well and he thinks hes fooling me.
I just wish he was more honest with me. I just feel like its awkward and crazy to call him out on all these little lies, when it seems like hes just telling them to keep me happy. What do I do? | Boyfriend tells little white lies a lot to keep me happy. Should I be worried? Should I confront him about them or let them slide? |
t3_2jdkzt | personalfinance | Inherited Roth IRA Distributions | I'm hoping for some input from someone who has a better understanding of this somewhat uncommon situation.
I have a fairly small Inherited Roth IRA and a larger Inherited Traditional IRA. The rules of these accounts were unfamiliar to me at the time and are still fuzzy to me. The original owner passed away in 2012 before the age at which they would have to take Required Minimum Distributions. It is my understanding that I have two choices for taking distributions. I must either take a RMD every year starting in 2013 or I must empty the account within 5 years of the original owner's passing.
At the time I inherited them, I wasn't very familiar with any of this, so I left the accounts under the management of the original owner's financial adviser trusting him to make sure that the accounts were properly transferred into accounts for benefit of me and trusting him to make sure that I did everything by the book. The adviser took out a RMD for the Traditional IRA for 2013, but not the Roth IRA. I never spoke with the adviser which fortunately means that I avoided the 1.5% adviser fee. I don't remember being asked if I wanted to take RMDs or not, I thought that taking lifetime distributions was my only option. I am no longer with the adviser having moved everything to Vanguard.
When I filled out my 2013 taxes, I was unaware of the 5-year full distribution option so I assumed that I missed the RMD and would be subject to the 50% excise penalty. I filled out Form 5329-T Part VIII and requested a waiver of the penalty on the grounds that I wasn't aware of the requirement and my adviser let me down.
Some questions...
* Will I hear back from the IRS about whether my penalty waiver was granted or not?
* Is the waiver irrelevant since the rules appear to say that if I miss the first RMD, I must then take the 5-year full distribution option and empty the account within 5 years?
* Would I be missing out on anything by just emptying the Roth right away? I've already maxed out my Roth IRA and will max my 401k before year's end so if I wanted to get back into the market it'd have to be in a taxable account. | I missed the first RMD for an Inherited Roth IRA for 2013. Do I now have no choice but to take the full distribution within 5 years? |
t3_45ju5c | dating_advice | I am not sure if she's interested anymore - still wanted to see her. Should i push valentine's day? | Hi guys,
There's this girl i like pretty much. We kissed on our 3rd date, and on the next one as well. We have rapport as i feel.
However, on the next date, she only gave me a little smack on the lips, and when i asked about what's wrong, she told me she likes me, but it might be a little fast for her.
I was (and still am) okay with this, didn't push anything.
Yesterday i met her for 1.5 hours. She had a work related event/party (we met before that), and she initiated/insisted on me checking her / her clothes if i want to (i asked her to make a photo of her for me (on the party), and she told me, "or you could see it for yourself").
**BUT** the interesting thing was the smack or more likely the *lack of* the smack.
She only gave me a kiss on the cheek (only one, and it was pretty close to my lips, but i felt she aimed there. I was going for a smack tho).
What does this mean? She's telling me she likes me, she wants me to see her (when i asked she really would like to meet, she answered she *wants* to), but she's keeping herself close. I don't understand.
And a question for last: i would like to get her some nice flowers for valentines day. I'm thinking about getting a bouquet of red roses. Is it too much? I want to make her pretty sure about my intentions. Rock-hard sure.
Or should i drop this whole valentine's day idea? Is it too pushy? | 1) girl said it's too fast, only gave me kiss on cheek (was kissing before), still wants to meet 2) bouquet of red roses: good or bad choice for showing intentions? |
t3_3hlrv5 | relationships | What to do about me [18 M] and my gf's [18 F] wishes about our relationship going into college? | My girlfriend and I (of 4 months) are both going to college very soon, but we will be on almost opposite sides of the country. When I asked her what she wanted to do about "us," she gave me an answer that I am still struggling with.
My hope was that we could continue our relationship into college over long distance, which I know is probably something to discuss in and of itself. However I have already decided that I would at least like to try it.
I want to preface the gist of what she said with this; I wholeheartedly believe what she said and her reasoning and feelings behind it. In other words, there is no need to read any deeper than necessary.
She basically wants us to only be friends for the beginning of college. She doesn't want to be committed to someone far away when she is getting used to her new life, and thinks that this would be a good thing for me too. She doesn't want the nature of our relationship to be romantic over the first months of college essentially. She then said that we could reevaluate our relationship during winter break and decide if we want to continue as a couple.
I agree with her logic at least, and we decided that that would be the plan going forward. I am of course heartbroken, upset, and now that it is sinking in, confused. What does this mean? What are the odds that she is going to still want to be with me when winter break rolls around? What are the odds that I will? My biggest concern, knowing what I know about myself, is that I will hold out hope until the end, and still want her in December, but she will have moved on, leaving me with a lot of wasted time hoping.
What should be my course of action? Should I break it off now? Should I wait until winter break to make a decision? Should I pursue other possibly romantic relationships in the meantime?
I have a ton of questions, and any input on any of them is appreciated. Thanks. | girlfriend wants to be just friends in college until winter break, when we will figure things out. What should I do? |
t3_1idymd | relationships | Me M(25) with my new GF F(24) and ladyfriend F(21) | I week before i met my new GF, i told a girl which i had been friends with for a very long time, that I was in fact very attracted to her, and that I always had been but was too afraid to lose my friendship... I told her not to have her change her behavior, but just to let her know.... (hey, maybe shes not okay with that. I was ready to accept any outcome)
Anyways, then i find a GF. who I'm SUPPERRR happy with...
The friendzone girl, asked me to call her when i was in the area...
My new GF knows about this Friendzone girl, but doesnt know that I still talked to her. (I didnt say that I did or didn't, she didnt ask)
Anyways, I can only imagine that my gf wouldn't feel very secure about me being still in contact.... (ive already lost a past gf to this friendzone girl causing insecurity) I know I wouldn't want my GF to be hitting up a guy who she has a kick on.
So i didnt contact the friendzone girl when i was in the area.
I later sent her a text to tell her that I found someone that Im very happy with, and that me being attracted to her, made me think I shouldn't contact her to hang out.
The friendzone girl is super pissed... Am i being fucked up???
I kinda feel like shes not entitled to anything just because shes my "friend". I feel like if my gf is the #1 girl to me, i have every right to do what's best for me and my gf.
opinions???? I want to make sure im not being dumb/unfair | Should I still hang out with a lady friend im attracted to if I have a new gf... Is it bad if i dont hang out with this lady friend? |
t3_3ep8pt | relationships | My girlfriend [26F] of 3 years asked if we could move in together. I [28M] told her no. She's angry with me, but I feel like she's not being respectful of my needs. | My girlfriend's lease is coming to an end in two months, so the other day she brought up the idea of moving in together. This is the first time that she has ever directly brought up the subject, although she has hinted at it in the past. I told her I would think about it and have an answer later.
After I had a chance to think about my response, I told her that I didn't want to move in together right now. I need a lot of personal space and alone time, not necessarily from her but just in general, and I don't feel like that I can have that if I have a roommate. Of course this didn't go over well, but I'm not sure there is a way that I could have explained this to her without her taking it personally.
I think maybe the bigger problem here is that we disagree over whether or not I demand too much personal time and space. I just don't know how to explain that this is not just a preference but a real need I have. | Girlfriend wants to move in with me. I don't want this. She is upset and thinks I require too much personal space. |
t3_329zif | relationships | Girl [23F] I've [24M] been dating for the last 3 weeks told me "I can't do this right now." | We are both in professional school. She is one grade below me. I never got a chance to talk to her last semester, but I began seeing her more this semester and started talking to her more. We really hit it off and began dating for the past 3+ weeks.
Today we had a school-sponsored event which we left early because she was visibly upset (crying). We went back to her place and then she told me, "I can't do this right now." My heart sank. She told me that she didn't want a relationship right now because she has to work on some other things in her life and that she was stressed from school. I asked her multiple times if I did anything wrong, and she assured me I didn't. She said she was still interested in hanging out and doing stuff together but just did not want to date. She felt we rushed into things even though both of us agreed to take it slow. We have been sexual but haven't had sex yet. I asked her if she would be interested in dating in the future, but all she told me was that I didn't have to wait around for her.
I was caught off guard because last night, she asked me to come over to her place to keep her company. We just relaxed on her couch and kissed for most of the time, so I thought everything was okay.
I am crazy about this girl and she seemed like she was into me too. I never thought an amazing girl like her would want to date someone like me. She always makes me feel awesome even when I'm having the worst day. I like her and care about her so much. I have no interest in dating other girls; I just want her. | Girl I've been dating told me today "I can't do this right now." She still wants to be friends but not date. I am still crazy about her. What should I do? What can I say to her? |
t3_kzm43 | AskReddit | What's the worst political argument you've been involved in? | I'll start. Not long ago, I was with some friends and I casually mentioned that I was conservative (basically libertarian) and that I don't appreciate the government telling people the way they should live their lives (beyond moral law of course). I said that I am in favor of things like healthcare and welfare if they were more properly regulated and actually given to the people who deserved them and not those who just leech it to avoid jobs. Anyways, one of my friends basically went off on me saying that all conservatives are just plain retarded and that all that garbage I get from fox news is false (I don't watch fox) and that I was just in general in the wrong for believing that people should have to work to get the benefits and that the government should provide for everyone and that the reason we're broke isn't the massive spending on redundant govt. plans and just how basically it's all Bush and Regan's fault and that funding the military is stupid. | My friend is one of the stupid liberals who make the rest look bad and tried telling me being conservative was ruining our world. |
t3_pkbva | relationships | How does one break up with a long-term, unstable "best" friend? | Hi, Reddit. I'm a 21f, and my "best" friend (21f) of eight years and I have turned into very different people. I am laid-back and generally positive person. She is becoming a very immature, hateful person that lives for creating drama. Lately, her comments and actions have really been getting under my skin.
For instance, I like a guy who isn't interested in me romantically. Sucks, but I can handle that. My friend will make comments such as "What if he met me and started to like me?" and "He probably has a girl over right now.". It makes me feel like shit. She is easily offended, so if I talk about how I don't approve of those comments she will go into a rage mode. When I hang out with other friends she will ask me where I was/who I was with/when/what did we talk about. I've caught her looking at my mail (personal cards, tax form, etc.) I will listen to her vent, but she acts annoyed if I would like to talk about an issue of my own for once.
She has extreme anger issues that she is aware of. She is going through a lot (shitty on/off relationship & family issues that are somewhat self-inflicted) and admits she is insecure, but not seeking professional help. I can't help her and she doesn't seem to want to change. I feel guilty for not wanting to be her friend during this time, but the negativity is wearing me out.
How do I go about breaking off the friendship? Honestly, I sort of fear for my safety. When she and her boyfriend fight, she gets in his face and pushes/slaps/jabs him. | My (I guess former) best friend offers nothing but negativity to my life and I want to end the friendship. What is the best way to "break up" with a friend that is known to be physically abusive toward others? |
t3_2ou8pk | offmychest | Sorority rush (really long post) | This has been bugging me for 2 years since it happened. When I was in my sorority I got assigned to something called 'drop group' during recruitment. You can probably guess what my job was. The problem was I ended up making girls feel way too comfortable, especially compared to the mean-to-your-face or seemingly superficial girls they encountered in other houses.
Rushing a party many times ended with me tearing up afterwards and grabbing the nearest sister I saw for a hug. Yea 'poor me' I know I was an enormous asshole. Being upset by my job making sure these girls didn't get into our sorority doesn't change the fact that I still did it.
There was one girl in particular though that I still feel bad about. She was really guarded and seemed skeptical about the rush process at first, but over about 45 minutes of talking I wore her down and she really opened up to me. She told me about her mom dying the year before, how her family was coping, etc. I straight up told her to not let any sorority influence the way she feels about herself, that people get dropped for stupid reasons, rush is bullshit and means nothing, etc.
She was a very religious girl, no drinking, and there were definitely girls in my sorority who were like that. But after 3 years of recruitment and seeing the types of girls who stuck around, I knew she would never enjoy/stand for our new member process. It made more sense to drop her and let her find some type of church group on campus, and give a bid to a girl who wanted to get very drunk/wouldn't mind being told how to act while she was a new member.
When I walked her to the door she asked me if she could give me a hug, and thanked me for being "the only real person" she had talked to during rush. I instantly froze and had about 10 minutes afterwards to (like I said before) cry a minuscule amount and hug someone, before the next 'drop' girl came in. | HOLY SHIT this is long I guess I was even guiltier than I thought. I got girls to trust me then dropped them from my sorority during recruitment. |
t3_2fsuje | relationships | Me [18F] with my friends [17M][18F][17F], locked me out, what do i do? | So, 3 days ago, i was in my flat (shared uni housing) with my 3 friends. J [17M] H [18F] and Z [17F]. We were hanging out, and they all went into Z's room. I followed them, and as i walked down the hall, i heard them in Z's room, and heard the door lock click.
I tried the door and it was locked, and i heard them laughing. i knocked on the repeatedly asked them to open the door, and finally J unlocked it.
I said "yeah really funny guys", and J smirked said "i thought it was", and i looked at H and Z and they were trying very hard to not laugh at me.
I basically said "fuck you guys", shut the door and went into my room.
It really hurt my feelings, as i felt a lot like they were ganging up on me, and i've had this sort of thing with bullies in the past, and it really hit a sensitive spot.
That was on Saturday evening, and it's now Monday evening, and i've been in my room the whole time, bar a couple of kitchen/bathroom visits.
THIS IS VERY UNLIKE ME, our flat is very social, we are a group of close friends and spent all our time in the kitchen/lounge.
every time H (who doesn't live in the flat but lives over the road and is here almost 24/7) knocks on the door/rings the bell to come over, and i'm the only one in the flat i've been ignoring it.
So far they've made no effort to apologise, or even admit that what they did was kinda mean. It hurts.
They've been carrying on like i don't exist.
So /r/relationships, what do i do?
Do i be the bigger person and act like nothing was wrong, or do i continue excluding myself from my social group until they apologise, or do i completely ditch them? | friends locked me out of a bedroom and laughed at me, haven't apologised/acknowledged my hurt feelings, been isolating myself for days. |
t3_51tagx | BreakUps | Telling a girl (32 F) I (34 M) can't be just-friend the /right/ way? | In short, she didn't think she was ready to be dating (she has attachment issues) but still likes me. I was ready to let it go and wished her well, but she texted me days later about how much she'd miss me, so I said we can keep in touch. I've seen her twice since then and the second time got a little bit romantic, but she still seemed cautious.
Anyway, I want to clear things up about "keeping in touch", so I'd either tell her one of the following:
1) I think you're great and love your company. We don't need to officially be dating to go out sometimes and have fun, but you should know that it's not quite friendship to me because I'm still viewing us as a romantic possibility.
2) I think you're great and love your company. If you ever want to date again, you should totally feel free to drop me a line. If we're both still single, we can continue the fun! Otherwise, I'm not really looking to turn this into just-friends.
Ultimately, my desire to keep her interested. Which one of these would do that job better? | I want to clear the air about "keeping in touch" after dating. I want to leave the door open for romance, but not sure if it's better to allow some hangouts or not. |
t3_3hy1j9 | relationships | Boyfriend [21M] of two years will NOT leave me [21F] alone when we go out drinking. Am I being unreasonable? | When my boyfriend and I go out drinking with friends and he gets a slightly to moderately drunk, he begins to become really clingy. Like constantly hugging me behind the waist, whispering in my ear how much he loves me like every 3 minutes (not joking), constantly trying to kiss me on the mouth. It's really annoying especially when I'm with my friends.
When I try to bring this up with him when he's drink, he immediately gets defensive and gets angry. Like saying, "ok I'll fuck off and leave you alone."
When I try to bring it up when he's sober, he accuses me of wanting to look single and get the attention of other men.
How I can I tell him that his behavior is really irritating and unwanted without coming off as mean? I've tried telling him directly that is irritating, I've tried telling him that I love when he pays attention to me, but he's overbearing. Help? | my bf gets super clingy and annoying when he's drunk. Reacts badly when I try to talk about it. |
t3_h01nn | AskReddit | I'm in a confusing situation involving crazy family members. Can Reddit offer advice/opinions/guidance? | Hi Reddit, I'm going to be graduating from high school in a few weeks. I had been hoping to go to a really nifty school out-of-state, but it looks like I may not be able to. Yesterday, my mom confronted me, saying that she would hurt herself if I were to move away from her; she told me that she "wouldn't be able to go on if I abandoned her". She's threatened this before, to keep me from moving in with my dad or otherwise leaving her. She's never followed through with anything, but I've always been afraid to push it. I likely won't be able to pay for tuition without her help, so I'm probably going to end up going to a certain local university (I'd rather not, they don't have a great program for my major).
I'm worried about after I graduate, though. I'm afraid she's going to try to hurt herself if I ever move out of state for a job or anything else. I'd really rather not stay here forever taking care of her, but I just don't think I could handle the guilt if she really did kill herself...
I don't know what I should do, Reddit. I might be able to go to the school I want to if I get a scholarship (I meet the criteria, but I my application was late). Should I call her bluff and go for it? Should I try and get her mental help? I know she probably seems pretty crazy, and she kind of is, but I don't want to overreact and make the situation worse. College seems important to me now, but am I being too dramatic about this whole situation? I really, REALLY don't want her to hurt herself. I don't want to have to live with the guilt that I killed her. | My mom's acting all crazy and it's taking a toll on me, should I get her help or am I just being an average dramatic teenager? |
t3_1rwdwh | dating_advice | Guy looking for a little girl help | My assistant manager and I have gotten pretty close the last few months and have recently hooked up. After the hook up I left to see family for thanksgiving so that was the last time we saw each other and didn't really get to talk about where we both stand on the whole situation. While away she kept sending me texts about how she missed me but also kept sending texts on how work will be the same and no one can know. After I got back she was kind of hesistant to hang out so I asked her what the deal was and she said she had to take a step back emotionally because she dated an coworker before and it didn't turn out well. I'm okay with this but I've also started getting strong feelings for her and I'm not sure if I should try to take a step back myself, tell her my feelings for her, or just act the same as before. | How should I treat a girl that likes me but feels she has to hold back because we are co workers? Also, am I looking to deep into this? |
t3_2pulhb | relationships | (23 M) My gf of a year and a half (22 F) has social anxiety. How do I help? | Preface: I LOVE my girlfriend. I am not leaving her.
Preface 2: I am aware I am not a licensed therapist and am not equipped to "fix" her. She has very recently started therapy without me urging her to. (We had talked about it a long time ago but she wasnt sure about it so I left it alone.) And I've expressed that I'm proud of her for seeking help.
With that out the way..
Sometimes I dont know what to do to help her when she freaks out. Basically what happens is some little thing goes wrong and she gets super critical of herself and begins a negative spiral.
For example, she was coming to visit me for a few days and I live 3 hours away. She realizes about halfway through she doesnt have her clothes and calls her parents first. Her mom is super critical (probably the source of her problems) and told her it wouldnt have happened if she were more organized. Then she calls me and is freaking out. I'm doing very well financialy and I said I was going to buy her some clothes for her teaching job she's going to start when she graduates so it all works out. This doesn't calm her down and she blames herself even though she had umpteen million things to remember to bring.
Sometimes she also thinks people dont like her and are talking about her. Theres really no reason to dislike this girl. She is incredibly sweet and mild mannered.
How can I better be a positive, supportive, and calming voice for her?
Also what do I do on days where I'm having an off day and may not be able to be as supportive? | gf has really low self esteem and possibly social anxiety. How do I help? What do I do when I know I wont be able to help due to me having a bad day? |
t3_si1n2 | Pets | My parrot is sick / shaky, wondering if anyone has seen this before? | I hope it's OK to post here. So, here's the background...
Petey is a male African Grey, about 30 years old. A few weeks ago, he started having an odd head shaking / trembling, and his balance has been worsening. It's possible that it was a stroke, but we aren't sure.
We brought him to the vet, and he was put on an antibiotic for 2 weeks due to elevated white blood cells (Ofloxacin?). It didn't help the shaking, so we brought him back this week and he is now hospitalized so they can crop feed him and give him fluid injections since he is underweight and not eating a ton. He's also been sleeping a lot and seems to be getting weaker.
He was tested for lead/zinc toxicity and both came back normal, so we're running out of ideas (and time). They're starting him on another antibiotic today in case it's an infection the prior one didn't catch. | 30 year old African Grey is shaky and weak. It's not lead or zinc poisoning. Have been to the vet twice and he is currently hospitalized. |
t3_3yd9tr | relationships | Me [29 F] with my SO [25 M] for 8 months. I thought I was OK with his trip to Italy with my best friend[27 F] (his housemate), and now I feel really hurt and jealous. | So my best friend [f 27] moved a little over a year ago. Fast forward and I've been dating her housemate [m 25] for about 8 months now. We all get along really well, make diners together, go grab beers.
My best friend recently came back from a trip around Europe, and just wants to travel everywhere now. I'm way to broke to go, i quit my job and went back to school full time so money is tight.
My boyfriend wanted to go to Italy, and they decided they would go together. They invited me as well, but I just can't afford a trip like that.
I thought I was OK with it, but now that they are actually gone, and I'm looking at all their SNAP stories and post, I can't help but feel really bad. I'm jealous and I hate it.
I don't think that anything sexual would ever happen, but I'm also getting a lot of comments from my mom and sister about how naive I am, and I'm stupid to think they wont get intimate. | Boyfriend [m 25] goes on vacation to Italy with my best friend [f 27] and now I can't handle the green monster. |
t3_23vqdv | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Best friend[18 F] Is this Creepy ? | So my best friend and I got into it she is mad at me and she's ignoring me because she thought I was lying about something serious when I wasn't , she told me to leave her alone. I texted her explaining I was telling the truth and she said okay and I told her I got her an Easter basket with an apology letter and presents because she's never had one she told me that was sweet and I didn't have to do that. Shes still mad at me I know that and I texted her the next day asking if I could drop it off at her house but she didn't reply so I was wondering if I left her present on her porch would that be creepy or sweet ? We're both 18 im a guy. | Mandatory My best friend is mad at me and im not sure if she wants to see me so would it be creepy if I left her present on her front porch and texted her it was from me ? |
t3_23vacp | relationships | I [20/M] recently started dating my gf [19/F] and over the first month I've realized I hate her boobs. | *sigh* I guess I'm actually doing this. I started dating my gf just two weeks ago and I already realize there is a problem. My gf has extremely small boobs, like, nearly non existent. I feel selfish and shallow for even thinking about this but it is something that bothers me. I didn't even think about this as an issue when I first asked her out but now that we have been hooking up I realize just how much it bugs me. I don't want to be going through this relationship looking at busty girls and wishing I could have that... This problem is purely sexual, emotionally and mentally my gf is far and away the best I've ever had, but I'm finding it tough to get over her lack of boobs. I feel like an asshole. | started dating great girl, she has extremely small boobs, it bugs me everytime we start hooking up and I don't know what to do about it |
t3_etj5t | relationship_advice | Girlfriend just told me she had an abortion and it was mine | My girlfriend of six months (22, I'm 23) has been really down this past week. I assumed it was regular time-o-the-month reasons (which it was, partly) but today she was sitting on her bed bawling her eyes out, which is very unlike her, so I asked her what was wrong. Turns out, at the beginning of our relationship, she lied to me about being on birth control the first time we had sex. Month or so later she realized she was pregnant, got an abortion, and immediately started taking the pill after that, for the first time in her life. Obviously I was shocked out of my mind, I'd thought she'd been on the pill before we even met each other. I asked why she didn't say anything to me, she said she'd had contraceptive-less sex with her past three boyfriends and never got pregnant, she thought she was infertile, and was too embarrassed to admit this to me when we'd just started dating. She said having a child was the last thing she wanted to think about at this point in her life and was afraid I might abandon her or convince her to keep it. Then she started saying I must hate her now and all this crap. I said I needed time to think, so I left and haven't talked to her for about twelve hours.
I just really don't know how to react to this. I feel really hurt and betrayed. I just don't understand why she would start off our relationship on a bunch of lies. On the other hand I really love her and am glad that I know the truth now, and I'm sure this entire situation was/is incredibly hard on her. I don't know. Please advise. | Same as the title, but girlfriend is very upset and ashamed and I love her, I have no idea how to handle the situation. |
t3_1k6lm4 | relationships | [20/M] I can't get [19/F] out of my head and it's killing me. Details inside. | I have known this girl, we'll call her Clara, for at least three years. We have an endless amount of history together, but not in the sense of dating or intimacy, but as friends. Lately, and I'm not really bad at picking up a lot of hints and flirting, I have felt that she has been sending me clues that she wants to be more than just friends.
When we would hang out, she would play with her hair a lot, we would just suddenly laugh at random things, we would talk to each a lot in very soft voices together (faces moving closer and closer - even when there are other people with us), wearing sometimes revealing/work clothes (blouse, tight skirt, etc; looks really nice in them btw), becomes really nervous and can't really string together whole sentences (I've never actually seen her do this until just recently), and some light touching to heavy hitting (played with my hair, touching my arm, playfully kicking my leg).
When I first met her, I was absolutely stunned when I first saw her. The most beautiful girl in the room without a doubt. Got to know her a bit better through Facebook, hanging out, etc. From the day I met her to now, we would talk a lot to each other about our problems, our lives, but never anything about love. We would talk to each other about our crushes, but that was pretty much it.
I have known her for THREE fucking years. I have always thought about her whenever I hung out with any girl. I dont care about the other girls, I just want her. I dont know how to deal with this problem. She's very busy during the week but I have seen her last week so at least it's not too bad. Am I misinterpreting all of this? Am I just overthinking everything and making myself believe that this girl is in love with me?
Her birthday is coming in two weeks and I really want to see her and surprise her somehow and finally make my intentions clear that I want to be with her. | Known girl for at least 3 years now, want to be more than friends, too scared to make a move, busy schedules, HELP. |
t3_2om8en | relationship_advice | How do I[22/f] bring up with my boyfriend [22/m] that I feel like he's losing interest | Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year, but the last month and a bit I feel like he's been more distant than usual.
He's really introverted, so I'm used to him wanting alone time, our time together seems to consist of him on his desktop playing video games and me laying around his apartment, then sex, then bed time. I don't really have a problem with this at all. I enjoy spending time in the same room as him doing other things. But lately I've been getting the vibe that maybe he's just not that in to me anymore. Unfortunately I'm aware that it seems kind of crazy to feel that way off of just some gut feeling, but I also know it will eat at me if I don't bring it up. Especially because in the past my gut feelings have been spot on.
I know the solution is to talk to him about it, but I don't know how to bring it up with out making it sound like I have a problem with how we are now, or sounding overly paranoid if I'm wrong. | How should I bring up concerns about my boyfriend's interest in our relationship with out sounding paranoid or like I'm unhappy? |
t3_37nf1b | tifu | TIFU: By putting something somewhere I shouldn't have | Woke up to the birds chirping and blue skies, about 70 degrees outside and I didn't want to go to work. I did everything in my power to delay the inevitable journey to work.
But alas the time came, I hurriedly poured myself a cup of coffee, grabbed my bag, and rushed out to my car. The doors were locked so I set my coffee down, set my bag down, started digging through my bag, found my keys!
I proceeded to open the car door, at which point in time I got hit in the face with a heat wave, I started the car and immediately rolled down the auto-windows and rolled back the auto-sunroof to let the hot air out. I heard this weird "TINK" sound as I reached out and snatched my bag up off the ground, tossed it in the passenger seat, I heard the same weird "TINK" sound again and everything went into slow motion. It took me about 0.32546213 seconds to realize where I had set my coffee down, and right as I realized that it was on my sunroof that was retracting the ceramic mug and all it's hot contents ended up on my head.
Moral of the story... Don't procrastinate. | In a rush to get to work, left coffee cup on top of sunroof, rolled back sunroof, got to take a hot coffee shower. |
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