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t3_z533n | AskReddit | I am planning to stay in a very VERY shady motel tonight. How should I prepare myself? | So here's the situation:
Me and a couple buddies and our gfs are planning to spend the week at Outer Banks in NC. We drove down from Maryland this morning and were planning on checking into our beach house today. Problem is, the house isn't going to be ready on time (cleaning problems? idk), so we had to look into finding a hotel/motel close by at short notice.
Well...the only one that had an opening and was under $200 a night was this place:
I was originally sketched out by the lack of any pictures of the rooms and the statement "rates may change at any time", but I shrugged it off cause there is no way we are all sleeping in our cars. So we booked it by phone on the way down, and we plan on puttering around the town a bit (grab a bite, grab some drinks, you know the drill) until later tonight when we get tired, then check in.
Problem again: we just checked this place out on tripadvisor.com and GOOD LORD. Just read for yourself
Granted we probably should've checked this BEFORE planning to stay there, but now we have 2 options: either sleep in our cars, or brave this hell hole. Advice on surviving in a shitty motel? | Night accommodations fell through. Staying in what is expected to be shittiest place ever. Check out links above. |
t3_1dbzbk | AskReddit | Would a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder work with someone who lacks empathy? | I love unconditionally, would do anything for anyone no matter what they've done to me. I love with everything I have, and would give the clothes off my back to anyone who asked. When someone is hurting I feel it deep inside of me, it's as if I take on their emotions and feel what they feel. I know I have a deep level of empathy, I fear attachments because I'm terrified of being abandoned.
The guy I'm in love with and would do anything for is my best friend. He's helped me through so much and understands all of my issues and most times is patient and understanding. Sometimes he gets frustrated with the way I handle things or the impulsive things that I do but he's still always there for me. The thing is, is he lacks all empathy. He doesn't feel the way you or I do and at times he wonders if he's a sociopath. If he does something wrong he apologizes and then says to move on and not dwell on it. However, it's very rare that he apologizes and when he does I'm not sure if he does it because he's sorry or he knows that I want to hear it. We seem to work really well together but at times I wonder if we'll work out. We used to talk from the time we got up to the time we went to bed and now its only a few hours a day, the only thing I worry about is him replacing me. I know it sounds childish, clingy and insecure but I am terrified of being abandoned. If he left I would eventually be fine I'm not worried about that it's just that I have so many deep feelings that it clouds my judgment at times.
Though he lacks empathy and could be a sociopath, would it work out between us? | Guy I'm in love with could be a sociopath, while I may have borderline personality disorder and I'm wondering if the relationship will work out. |
t3_2e1grv | relationships | Me [26F] with my [27M] husband of 4 yrs, split up and I had sex with someone else and now I have weird feelings | Several months ago my husband told me he didn't want to be married, lots of negative stuff led to his decision. I moved out and that's going well, I am enjoying being single. Husband has started to make efforts to repair things between us and wants to get back together. A few days ago I slept with someone from work, it was incredibly enjoyable and the best sex I've ever had in my life. So good, I didn't even know sex could be like that. It wasn't just lust, there was a definitely a connection building up between us in the weeks leading up to the sex. Unfortunately this man has moved out of state. About 11 hrs away for grad school now. I can't get him out of my head though, the sex was amazing, he is amazing, we compliment each other so well. If he hasn't moved away and I wasn't just recently single, I imagine we would end up together.
But husband is trying to work on things and part of me wants that but also part of me just had my eyes opened to an amazing world of sex and other people and I kind of want to explore that.
I am so confused! Do I try and work on things with my husband or do I continue to move on with my life? And how do I stop feeling completely heart wrenched over my coworker? | husband and I split up, I slept with a coworker who has now moved out of state, husband wants to work things out now and I am conflicted about what I want. |
t3_2mds56 | personalfinance | My fiancé wants to start a Masters program but I don't know if it makes sense financially | So my fiancé f 28 wants to start a master of arts in liberal studies at Denver University for around 30 k, and I am wondering if this program makes sense in our situation. She has been stuck in a rut working as a preschool teacher making just over 12 dollars an hour for the last four years and has been trying to find a job outside of it the entire time. The problem is she wants to do something art related and has not heard back from anything she's applied too. She graduated with a degree in Dance, so besides teaching preschool she has had a hard time finding work. She also can't move up to older children because she doesn't actually have a education degree. She is thinking that this masters degree to help the resume and get her out of her situation. Does this make sense?
On the one hand I don't know if this program is a good idea because its a degree with no career path in mind.
On the other hand being a dance major shes limited a bit, so maybe this could boost her to something better.
I make close to six figures in the medical field with good room for advancement if that changes anything.
Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this. | fiancé is looking at getting loans for a masters because she's stuck in low income job and I'm wondering if this is the best path for her. |
t3_3m0he0 | relationships | I[18M] have a crush a girl[17F] whom I have known for 14 years but I am finding it hard to approach her | This girl and I have been to going to the same school for 14 years. Since preschool all the way up until now, my senior year at high school. My school is pretty small so there are maybe 20 or so kids in the senior class who have been here since preschool. I developed my crush for her in 5th grade when we sat next to each other, but since then we haven't talked much.
I am very awkward and shy. I have never been a relationship.
I want to talk to her but I do not really know how. We haven't had any classes together in High School and I feel it might be too awkward to just walk up to her at break. How do you think I should talk to her? What do I say?
this is my first time doing anything like this so if I did not give enough info please let me know. | I have a crush on a girl whom I have know for a long time but havent talked to much. How do I break the ice? |
t3_1fn9a6 | jobs | So I had an interview yesterday and I really messed up. I need your help. | Ok, so I had an interview with a pharmaceutical company yesterday. I met with 3 people... John, the president of the company, Carlos, one of the chemists, and Phillip, who was in the HR department. We had our short interview, and at the end, John gave me what I now realize is 2 business cards.
So I put my stuff on phillip's desk while we did a tour of one of the labs. I go to pick it up afterwards to move onto a different part of the building, and I saw a business card laying on the desk. I thought it might have fallen out of my folder, so just to be sure, I opened mine up, saw one in there, and figured that the card on the desk was Phil's, especially since it was laying next to his stack of business cards.
I got home last night and was organizing my stuff so I could write thank you e-mails in the morning, and realized that I had Carlos the chemists card, but not John's, the president of the company.
So far, my only two thoughts were to just do snail mail, or to e-mail Phil and say thank you for meeting with me, etc. etc. and I also dropped my business card on your desk, can I have the contact info? unless one of you can magically find this guy's contact info for me. In which case, PM me please!!!! | Had an interview, dropped the business card of the president of the company on the desk of the HR guy and didn't realize it. What do? |
t3_2psouv | relationship_advice | Girlfriend left me after 3 years, been 3 weeks still isn't interested in me. | Alright, so bit of background, both were only 16 when we met in high school, yes we we're young and all that I know but, we clicked, really well! So we're both 20 now and she's left me. We were having a little bit of a rough time but she made it out I was awful to her when I may have played a few unfair jokes etc but all in jest, and in comparison to what we've both seen other guys do it was nothing. Also, had a pretty bad medical condition these 3 years and she's been there, been understanding and superb with me about it. We've been through a lot. So anyway skip that, it's now 3 weeks later, she's still not interested in getting back with me, however, plot-twist, she still has feelings and she's fighting them and I know it, not being big-headed but she accepts that we work well, that we had lovely times together etc and some nights I'll text her and it leaves her unsure if she's done the right thing but then she wont agree for me to take her on a date again and try to show her what we have really is amazing. Also we met up a week after we broke up, she was fighting me stroking her hair, she liked it but didn't want to, also kissed me so I mean, you don't do that when there's nothing there surely. Tbh, she's treating me like I've murdered all her family when I did nothing wrong it just got a little dull I guess. But I need her back, how do I do this? I genuinely feel she's perfect for me. | Girlfriend left me 3 weeks ago after 3 stupidly happy years together, now treats me like I'm nothing to her when I did nothing wrong, need her back but how? |
t3_3l3cow | relationships | My girlfriend [30f] just told me [35m] that she's scared of how much she loves me and wants us to break up so she can protect herself. I'm flying to meet her tomorrow — what should I say or do? | Background: We've known each other four months. We fell in love almost as soon as we met. We've spoken about it and it feels like we've known each other for years.
I've got a GREAT opportunity to move to another country. I've asked her to come along, but she said it was too soon, so we've been long distance recently (last month or so). Now she's saying that she loves me too much and will never be able to move on from me if she doesn't start shutting me out. She says she wants to be alone. I know there's no one else in her life.
I've told her I'm willing to move back to be in the same city. Or do whatever it takes to make this work.
Nothing seems to be working. I'm flying back tomorrow night so we can get together and hash this out. I am willing to do anything but I am at wits end.
Am I doing something wrong? Any advice? What should I do? | he's saying that she loves me too much and will never be able to move on from me if she doesn't start shutting me out. What should I do? |
t3_r3n8a | AskReddit | Any advice for dealing with Comcast? | I signed up for internet services for $19.99/month for the first six months of service with Comcast on their website. When I talked to the customer service rep on the phone to try to set up an installation (which I did know was going to add an additional cost, and I had no problem with that), they said that I couldn't sign up for the $19.99/month, I had to sign up for the $29.99/month for the first six months promotion. I agreed to that, had my internet installed, went on my merry way with internet that didn't work. I tried to call them to have someone come fix it, and they said it was my computer (it's not). That's not my issue, even though they were very unhelpful.
My issue is this: now I'm stuck with a bill for internet at $62.95/month, that I never agreed to, that I can't afford, and when I called customer service they said they had 'no record on my account of the $29.99/month promotion'. Basically, I've been screwed. I'm waiting for a 'supervisor' to call me back, because I want to now cancel my service. Is there anything I can do to make my bill be what it was actually SUPPOSED to be? | Comcast is trying to charge me $62.95/month for a service they said was $29.99/month. What can I say to them to make them change it back? |
t3_4e7y28 | relationships | Me (20M) crushing on a girl I met (22F) far too fast. She has a boyfriend | I recently went on a university trip to visit a few big businesses where some 20 other students joined as well. We all spent every living moment together in the few days together. I met this girl and we instantly hit it off. We were flirting all the time and would constantly make long eye contact for periods of 7-10 seconds. On the night before we leave we had a few drinks together she tells me she likes me but she had a boyfriend. Then she tells me she plans to break up with him possibly. She hinted a lot at getting dinner together as well. On the plane ride back we checked in together so we could sit together. I have had a period of horrible anxiety 2 years ago in my life and it hadn't come back untill when we had to say goodbye. We hugged for nearly half a minute before we parted ways. Ever since that moment I guess I felt a lot of seperation anxiety and later this night I saw a few pictures of her together with her boyfriend. This literally broke my heart and it sounds so stupid since it hasn't even been a week since I've known this girl. I feel like words and actions have been insencere.
How do I get over this? Why did she leave all these kind of signs and mention liking me? And why is it that the feelings are so strong.. | what do you do when you crush on a girl with a boyfriend who tells you she likes you back on a trip? |
t3_2rn2jj | relationships | Me [22F] was caught having sex with a guy [26M] by his girlfriend. Should I talk to her and apologize? | I just want to begin with clarifying that I honestly did not know he had a girlfriend. We originally met on Tinder and we went out for drinks at the weekend. I ended up going back to his place and we had sex. Whilst we were actually having sex a girl (who was obviously his girlfriend) walked in on us. There was an awful moment when everyone was just looking at each other and registering what was going on and it seemed to last forever. She then yelled something, I'm not quite sure what she said but then she ran off.
He just started swearing and I was getting angry with him but I don't think he was even listening - he was just sat with his head in his hands. So I just put my clothes on and left but as I was leaving I saw his girlfriend sat in her car crying. Even just thinking about it now I feel so fucking awful and I wish I could have consoled her or something but I think at that moment in time I would probably be the last person in the world she would want comforting her so I just left.
This happened a couple days ago but I feel so bad and can't stop thinking about her. My question is do you think I should apologize to her? I really want to let her know I'm sorry about it but I don't know if she would appreciate it - she might not want to hear anything from me. It is hard to know what I would want if I was her because I can't even really imagine what it's like to actually catch your boyfriend having sex with someone else. Any advice for what I should do? Don't know if this makes any difference but the only thing I have heard from him is a text saying sorry, which I didn't reply to because I don't really have anything to say to him apart from that he's a dick. | Was caught having sex with a guy by his girlfriend. Didn't know he was in a relationship. Don't know if I should talk to her and apologize? |
t3_2a1syq | relationships | Me [22 M] and my girlfriend [22 F] of 3 years broke up, but I want to reach out and talk. | My girlfriend and I went on a break because she wanted independence and space. Afterwards, she said she liked having this time to find out more about herself and wanted to stay broken up. She emphasized many times that I am her closest friend and she wanted to stay close friends. She kept saying she didn't want to follow the rules of not contacting each other.
I gave her some more space in addition to the 2 week break. It's been 3 days since we talked. I'm doing well. Working out, hiking, reading, keeping my mind off her as best I can. We ended things very amicably and she even agreed maybe we could just date-light instead of breaking up, but we said we'd decide later. The last time I saw her, she kissed me passionately, she spent the night at my place (we didn't have sex or anything), and cried a lot, I did too.
I know she needs this time, but we're always very honest with each other and I think I'd like to reach out and talk about how we feel. I don't expect anything out of the conversation. I'd like to suggest we do this differently, but I won't unless she wants to. I just want to be close again and talk about life. I really feel it's the right thing to do, and I think she wants to as well, but I'm not sure how to go about it. We did text briefly today about our weekends, but I'd like to steer the conversation towards talking about us. Again, I really don't want to convince her to take me back at this point. I just want to talk about. What should I do? | gf and I broke up after a break. says she needs space and time to herself. said she thought we'd one day get back together. wants to say close, wondering how to reach out. |
t3_4ryqxn | legaladvice | I've completed my college degree program, but the university won't let me graduate because I'm 17, and don't have a HS diploma | Not sure if this is THE best subreddit for this, but I thought it was a good start.
Located in Ohio
I'm currently 17 and entering my senior year at both my high school and a state university. I only completed one year of high school before deciding it wasn't for me, and have since substituted college attendance for the remainder of my requirements.
I'm enrolled at a State University in Ohio though their College Credit Plus program (designed for high school students to grab a couple college credits before they graduate HS), and have completed the requirement's for my associate's degree in full. The university even agrees that I have fulfilled the requirements for the degree.The program wasn't really intended for students to take more than a semester or two of classes, but I have nonetheless. It's worth noting that these are REAL college classes - not some simplified version. The university actually goes through a bit of effort to hide the fact I am underage from professors.
As I have not graduated high school yet, the university continues to deny me the degree. I am currently jumping through hoops to just graduate with my HS diploma and undergraduate degrees this school year (on time)- including graduating six months early from high school so that I have a high school diploma in time to apply for my bachelor's degree graduation.
In the meantime though, I'm working for $8.10 an hour because I "don't have a degree" while I'm trying to save up for a $100,000 master's degree. If I could officially tell employers I have an associates, I could really get a pay bump.
*Are they allowed to do this to me? Can I get my GED to give to the university as "proof that I completed high school", and still actually finish high school for a diploma? | My university recognizes I have completed my degree program, but won't give me the degree because I haven't graduated high school. |
t3_twjhv | AskReddit | Reddit, you can't have my soul as the bank has first dibs. How do you get out of debt and stay out? | I'm only 19, I'm thousands of dollars in debt due to university, and I'm nowhere close to graduating (I'm in second year). I want to go to law school afterwards, which is even more expensive. My parents make enough money that I don't qualify for financial need, but they have their own debts, other kids in school, and so I'm pretty much on my own.
I've applied to scholarships, but as I'm not a minority, do not have any sort of impairment, and don't qualify for financial need, I'm having difficulty finding anything or getting anything.
I'm mostly just concerned for my future, as of course there is interest in the student credits I get from the bank, and I want to have a family in the future, provide for them, and not have to worry about them going through the same troubles I am. I'm heavily involved in councils and clubs at school, and I have so many opportunities, but am bound by money. Reddit, what can I do? | I'm heavily in debt due to school, what tips/advice/help do you have that can get me out so I can have a stable future? |
t3_1sygrk | relationships | Me [F] with my Sister[13/F] and Mom. Issues with parental responsibility for my sister. | Hello,
so my sister "M" is slightly over 13 y/o and got her first boyfriend about 3 months ago. M's bf is nice enough and they seem to get along alright. However, my sister rarely if ever sees friends, and isn't involved in any activities outside of going to school.
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This brings us to the problem. All my sisters free time is being spent with her bf. He is over at our house from early afternoon to 11pm.
I feel that this is a lilttle excessive. I think that her time should be spent with friends and doing fun things and then spend a couple hours here and there with her bf.
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I've tried talking to my mom about my concerns, but because my sisters bf comes from a bad family my mom feels the need to "take care of him". My mom also says that I should talk to my sister if I think that her bf is coming over too much, but I think that is my mothers responsibility.
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I just don't know what to do, I want my sister to have friends and fun, but my mother isn't encouraging that and is too encouraging of her bf coming over. | Sister doesn't have friends, only boyfriend comes over. Stays way too long. Mother isn't taking parental responsibility. |
t3_47zloo | tifu | TIFU By ignoring physics and almost crushing people with half a ton of soda. | Two years ago I was earning some extra money as a cashier in stores. I used to replace workers on sick-leave all over town in this store-chain. I was only instructed to work with cash registers, however in a specific store the manager asked me if I want to help with placing products in main hall. I was more than happy to get some change from cash register routine, so I happily agreed.
Stacking shampoo bottles one by one got a bit boring soon, so I looked around until I found a big stack of soda bottles on a pallet, that had to be taken to the other side of store. The logical way how to move one was with a [pallet jack] (pic from google). I didnt really know how to use one, but a bit of trial and error led me to conclusion - pump&roll.
I was surprised how easy it was to get one rolling. In no time I was speeding up across the floor with wind sweeping by my ears. Confident look and heavy payload meant all customers yielding way to me and not asking where can they find this and that.
Being near the soda section, a terrific thought struck my head - how heavy this really is? 8 by 8 bottles on one of 4 stands. Thanks to bit sizes, it was a quick calculation that I had 256 bottles of sola behind me. Each bottle being 1.5 liters, ment that it was total of 384 kilograms (847 pounds) + the weight of jack and packaging. All of that moving on high speed through a shop full of kids. I would like to say that I did heavy braking with my feet, by making my Crocs smoke, melt and fuse to floor. However being 65kg/145 pounds myself, the only thing which almost happened was transferring 1% of my bodyweight into my underpants. In the final to avoid dodging unsuspecting shoppers, I transferred most of the kinetic energy from my payload to a drywall. Luckily this was near the destination, so I covered the damage by the said soda bottles. | Too much sugar or too little understanding of physics might end up grim for you! High speed moving soda on jack pallet is no joke. |
t3_1wfsz7 | relationships | Me (21/F) with my best friend (19/F). She just told me that her father's been sexually assaulting/molesting her for the past few years. What the fuck do I do? How do I be supportive without sounding insensitive or trite? | Okay, a little background:
We've been friends since middle school. We were really close up until
my senior year/her sophomore year of high school, at which point
she moved to be with her dad. Her mom and stepdad were extremely
unsupportive, abusive almost. When she lived here she
was pretty depressed and seemed obsessed with the idea of getting
away. Before she left we promised each other we'd still be best
friends but of course we grew apart. We've talked sporadically over
the past couple years.. Then last year she came back home for a
visit but after she returned we still didn't talk a whole lot.
Earlier today, she posted a cryptic status about something bad
happening at her house and that she had to get away. I messaged
her and she told me what happened; that he's been molesting her for
about 3 years. I feel terrible that I didn't somehow know and now I
feel like everything I say is dumb. What do I do??? | My best friend confessed to me that her father has been molesting her and I feel like a bad friend for not knowing what to say. |
t3_3w03t2 | tifu | TIFU by crying over spilt milk. | So today was a great day. It was going, if anything, greater than expected. That was until I got home.
I was tired and quite irritable after doing a long shift at work. My little brother (much taller and stronger than me now) was making his awful dinner of cold porridge oats and milk. We got into an argument over the milk (literally) and I ended up losing my temper. I snatched for the milk and we got in a tussle (bearing in mind we're 19 and 17 respectively) and it went everywhere. He threw his dinner on the floor getting majority of it on the seagrass rug.
It gets worse.
My mum and dad come in and see this horror and my mum breaks down - the worst I've ever seen. The ceiling is dented where she hit a chair on the roof and smashed her wine glass on the kitchen side and smashed a full bowl of buttercream icing sugar.
I was crying as its all my fault. My little brother ran away (back now fortunately) the mess is tidied up but the guilt I feel is unfathomable. | fucked up big time and ended up crying over milk, wine, buttercream and the seething hatred from my own mother. |
t3_2l0mgk | Advice | Should I speak to my lecturer? | So a lecturer (professor?) I have at University has started to take a bit of an extra interest in me and has stated she's worried about me, wants to help me succeed and hopes to be a support for me.
We have spoken a couple of times recently about my work and during this she's asked me if there's anything else I need to talk to her about and let me know I could knock on her office any time.
Anyways the part I need advice with - Since I started this course last year I've been having anxiety about going to class and being in class due to struggling with my sexuality and feeling different (I'm a girl in a class which is all girls).
Since my conversations with the lecturer I'm very tempted to email her and ask to speak to her privately and tell her. Though on the other hand I think it might be kind of strange to tell her, what if she thinks "why is she telling me this?". I don't want to overshare and make myself out to be a bit of a weirdo and I'm afraid she will think why are you telling me this now, so far into the course? I'm just really not sure what to do I guess. Help? | Should I tell my lecturer I have been suffering from some anxiety around going to/being in class due to my sexuality? |
t3_4r9buo | tifu | TIFU by deciding to not visit my dying Grandad in hospital.. | As with most fuck ups, this wasn't today, but 13 years ago, right before my teenage years. My grandad was taken into hospital for what we thought wasn't something overly serious. He'd been sick before and been to hospital, only to be released a few days later, so this wasn't uncommon.
Around this time, my Mam had trusted me enough to stay home alone in the house for a few hours at a time, which was a big deal to me. I come from a big family, and being in the house alone was cool and something different at the time. It was also nice to be trusted in that way as well.
Two days after initially going into hospital, my family went to visit my Grandad. I was asked if I wanted to go, or if I wanted to stay at home. I asked my Granny and she said she thought he'd be out soon and I could see him then (not placing any blame on her whatsoever, merely telling the story as it happened). Her tone and general relaxed belief that he would soon be out made me feel like it wasn't overly serious. I decided to stay home and also mind my younger brother too. I could watch TV, play Xbox, etc uninterrupted, things which somehow I felt were important at the time.
Fast forward a few days and his condition worsened. I begged my Mam to let me go to the hospital to see him, but she said she didn't want me to see him in that way as it would be a bad way for me to remember him. I was so upset at the time by this, but looking back I can appreciate why she did this for me.
Roughly 10 days later he passed away, and I never got to say goodbye to my Grandad, somebody I loved so much. It's my biggest regret in life to date and something that when I sit and think about from time to time still upsets me a bit. It's kind of a relief to put it out in the open as well after all this time. | Had the chance to visit my Grandad in hospital, decided to stay home alone, his condition quickly worsened and I wasn't allowed to visit him, he then passed away without me ever getting a chance to say goodbye. |
t3_1a8wgd | jobs | Reconnecting with old boss | Hi Reddit,
I'm beginning to look for full-time work, following completion of my MA in April. Overall, I have a pretty solid work history - I've been in career-relevant roles for the past 6 years, even while in school. There's only one blemish on my resume, and I'm not proud of it.
Around a year and a half ago, I took on a position organizing a fundraiser for a small local group. Right from the get-go, this role was a disaster. The group was undergoing some major restructuring, and I did not have the support I needed to do thorough job. Additionally, the work-load, which was initially supposed to be around 10 hours a week, ended up being far more. The role wasn't a good fit, and it showed in my attitude (I was stressed out all. the. time). Anyway, long story short, I took the group through the critical period of organizing and supporting the fundraiser, but left around two months later. My leaving was difficult, and they made it very clear that they had expected me to stay.
Here's the thing - I really want to clear things up with this group. Both for personal reasons (I know I didn't do a great job, and I want to let them know that I could have done better) and political (this is a small city, and I worry that word would get around). I'm considering sending an email looking to reconnect with my old boss. Has anyone had any success with turning a neutral reference into a good one by reaching out? Is this a horrible idea? | Didn't do a great job because of stress and unstructured work environment. Can I get a former boss on my side by reaching out? |
t3_3rel9b | relationships | I (21m) having issues with my genderfluid girlfriend (22f). Personality changes. | Throwaway account because she knows my real account.
I also posted this in r/genderfluid, but I think it belongs here.
I've been dating Olivia (fake name) for five months now, her coming out as gender fluid predates our relationship by about three months. She identifies by female pronouns and 95% of the time she feels feminine or female. She is very caring, supportive, and really fun to be around.
Recently, however, she has been feeling more masculine. Now I don't care about her dressing more masculine. Hell, I kinda enjoy a "tomboy" look. I myself am comfortable with who I am as a straight cis man, so I don't care what others think either.
But as she has become more outwardly masculine in these past several days something has changed. She seems to be more aggressive, and less communicative. We normally have intellectual conversations, something I love about her, but recently she kept shutting me down and being short. I'm pretty sure she became upset because I called her cute (in my defense, we use this term back and forth). And, funnily enough, she seemed to revert to using overtly feminine descriptions (cute, adorable..etc) when describing me, as if placing herself as the more masculine partner.
I'm not vying for dominance myself here, and I'm not being paranoid, I can tell something is off. I feel as though her personality has changed and mind games are being played. Having spent time in a war zone as a non combatant and as someone who went through a lot of bullying, I can identify these dominance signs well. I'm pretty sure there is no problems in the relationship otherwise, We have a date night planned so I'm considering bringing this up.
What should I do? Do i say anything? Do I wait? Am I making a lot out of nothing? | genderfluid GF, acting more masculine. Her personality seems to be changing with it and I don't know what I should do. |
t3_21cspw | jobs | No further information after being told they would keep me informed. | Hey everyone. So I work for a large hospital in New Jersey. I currently have my bachelors in criminal justice and work in the security department, but last year started grad school to get my MPA with a concentration in healthcare administration. Recently, an opening had become available for the position of HR generalist within the organization. I submitted my application through the company's internal mobility site and emailed the hiring manager for the position with what I thought(and was told) was a great cover letter connecting my experiences to what would qualify me for the position. To my surprise, I actually received an email back the next day stating "Thank you, Ryan. We are in the process of reviewing all resumes and anticipate beginning the interview process within the next week or so. We will keep you informed as the process progresses. Should you have any questions, please feel free to call." Now although I didn't get my hopes up, I felt that since she told me when the interview process would start that there might be some hope. More than three weeks later, still no word. Any idea if I should email back to see where they stand even though I never even had an interview? What do I say? Did I basically get the thanks, but no thanks? Any feedback is much appreciated! | Looking for internal mobility. Applied and emailed hiring manager. Told process would begin soon. No word a month later. What to do? |
t3_1bkqld | relationships | Doubts after meeting the family (26f, 27m) and a health crisis | X/post from dating_advice, they sent me here.
We've been dating for 4 months and have spent every weekend together since we started. It's been great, bar a few anxieties on my end (I'm the 26f).
I met his mother a few weeks ago and he met my mother this week when she came to visit.
Both of my parents arrived last week but my dad had a heart attack and so was hospitalised. Plans for both of my parents to meet my guy were initially put on hold, then changed so that my mother I and I would go for Easter lunch at his place (with a couple of his friends I already knew). He really made an effort and we had a nice afternoon, even without dad.
Since then though, I've just been feeling unsupported by him. My mother has some health issues of her own so I've been taking care of her too and whilst I'm not expecting him to be with me, a phone call occasionally would be nice.
I got one today - asking to verbally go through some proof-reading that I agreed to before my parents arrived and this started. I told him I was tired, stressed and couldn't concentrate on what he was saying and that I would find it easier to read things through again after his corrections. Only then did he offer to help out by getting groceries if I needed them.
I could be judging him unfairly - perhaps he thought it was best to not interfere as it seems that I'm coping, and that giving me space and time with my family is important. But then a part of me feels that if he cared he'd want to help, or at least offer more support, although I don't know what.
Am I right to be feeling a little weirded out? Or why am I reacting badly to my mum saying "you'll work it out" if I express any change of feelings regarding him? (she found him a little bossy, so I think she's not his biggest fan)
I guess I'm just wondering if something is wrong or if I'm just stressed and projecting my mothers relationship fears onto my own relationship. | 4 months in, my family comes to visit me and dad has a heart attack, feel bf is unsupportive but not sure if I'm projecting my mother's views. |
t3_2ipj5j | personalfinance | Trouble with florist | I rented a number of items from a florist (vases, etc) from a small flower shop in a small town. The florist delivered these items in four open-faced cardboard boxes on Saturday for an event on Saturday night. We asked her if we could return on Sunday as that would be most convenient for us and she said we could despite being closed, and that we could just leave the items behind the shop. We expressed reservations about that, but she reassured us that would be fine.
So we returned the items on Sunday, in the same boxes they were delivered, leaving them behind the shop as she said. A few days later, we get a nasty email about missing a bunch of items and how we left all the items out in the open to get stormed on and that we owed her almost $300 (she listed the missing items). She claimed only two boxes were behind the shop (we dropped all off four).
Unfortunately, very little of this was documented...we were never given an official inventory of what we rented prior to the event, and we did not take inventory or pictures of the items that we returned.
There have now been multiple emails back and forth where essentially we say we are not responsible, and she says that we are. She has now sent an 'official' invoice of what we owe despite us repeatedly saying we will not pay and that we will dispute any charge made on our card.
So here are my questions. To an outside party, this seems like a he said/she said scenario...how do we keep ourselves protected here? Is there any I can do now to be in a better position if/when she tries to charge my card? Can she sue us? Thanks. | Florist said we didn't return items that we did and wants us to pay. If outside parties become involved it becomes pretty much a he said/she said scenario because documentation and evidence is thin. How do I protect myself? |
t3_40alrf | relationships | me [15] and her [15]. she recently had an x ray done at a doctor, and they found our her back is messed up. Need help with how to cope and help her. | (I'm in mobile, formatting will more than likely be fucked up, I'm sorry) as the title states, my girlfriend was recently diagnosed with a back problem. Her back is at a weird angl, and if she me keeps on growing, it'll
grow even worse. She's going to need surgery.
She's been having absolutely terrible back pains lately, and she can't cope with them at all. I feel so helpless, because I see her in pain and I just can't do anything. The thing is, I don't even know if her parents have the money for the surgery, considering we live in the U.S and I don't know if they have the health insurance needed to be able to cover the costs. How can I make my girlfriend's life easier? It really breaks my heart and crushes it when someone like her has to deal with this kind of thing, especially at her age. I know we're young and all, but I feel like I could do something to help, anything. Thanks.
ope with them at all. | my girlfriend is having a lot of pain and stress from her back, and she's not in a good position, how can I help? |
t3_tsrhq | relationships | Reddit... Is phone sex cheating? I might have messed up alittle bit.... | Ok, I{24m} pretty much just had amazing phone sex with an ex GF{23f}. I am in a relationship right now and I of course feel more then a tiny bit regreteful.
Ok I broke up with this ex about 5years ago. but it was mutual and not really a bad breakup at all and so we have stayed friends even through each others next few relationships as she moved away.
We don't talk every week maybe once or twice a month we have a quite long chat just to catch up like most long distance friends do.
I found my new GF[22f] about a year ago and my ex actually supported me when I didn't quite know how to go for her. {I'm not a very confident person.}
Recently my ex's Boyfriend has been treating her not well at all. even to downright ignoring her. And as we were talking to eachother earlier she said that they haven't had intercourse for quite awhile because HE doesn't want it. So we chatted of course and I done my best to support my friend and try to help her out.
we began talking about old times for awhile then she had to leave.
After she came back we filled the time with the small talk you have with your friends. she asked me to call her because she said she hurt her eyes looking at MSN on the PC. So of course I did.
After awhile we started talking about our old times again. andone of us brought up the things we used to do regarding sex.
She told me that she wanted to do something and when I asked what she meant she said that she wanted to have phone sex. which we had done in the past while dating.
Short story Shorter I acepted and it was great. afterwards we never felt much guilt or awkwardness and we chatted abit more.
Afterwards I began to regret the entire evening. and I know mostly when you talk about cheating it's physical and it's actual sex but if it's phone sex is it the same? | I had phone sex with an ex-GF though I'm currently with a new GF. Even though Phone sex is not physical and there's no feelings outside of a mutural good feeling that comes with it. |
t3_sjmdy | AskReddit | Looking for some advice... | I just had to do something very hard for me today, and it requires a bit of backstory.
Long story short, my wife and I took in our best friend (let's call her Mary) and her two children while Mary's struggling to get on her feet after leaving her abusive ex-husband. Mary's elder child, a hyperactive 4-year-old girl, refuses to stop talking even when asked nicely, consistently breaks things, and altogether demands to constantly be the center of attention. We can't do that, not with our 5-month-old daughter.
Mary has tried her best to teach her daughter better, but she also has an almost-mute 2-year-old son who is suspected to have Asperger's Syndrome. My wife and I have pitched in when we can, but it's not enough. Mary's daughter is extremely destructive - our poor house... - refuses to do as she's told, argues and makes threats to her mother.
My wife and I hit our limit last night. I had to ask Mary to leave, knowing that she has nowhere else to stay, and no real money to her name. She really has tried her best to find a job, I've watched her, and I don't blame her for not being able to pitch in much financially. But my wife and I can't deal with Mary's daughter any longer. So I made the call and asked Mary to be out by this Tuesday. She agreed quietly.
This really hurts. I feel like I'm fucked either way: either they stay and our lives continue to devolve until we're resentful of our best friend, or we send Mary away and I feel rotten for potentially hurting one of our longest, best friendships. | Best friend and her two special needs, destructive children came to live with us after leaving ex-husband. Wife and I broke last night and I asked her to leave, knowing she has nowhere else to go. I feel terrible. |
t3_eltbb | AskReddit | I'm about to tell this girl how I truly feel. Please help me. | The story-
So this girl (Lisa) I work with started working with me almost 5 months ago. At first I was like wow shes cute but then after (now) I feel as if can't be without her. Things started coming between us (flirting and what not), we went for drinks after work one night and we flirted more and she came home with me. I threw on a movie and we got comfortable and before you know it we were making out. Heres the twist, I liked a girl before her, and thought ok so we made out that was it. At this point I wasn't entirely infatuated with her. So doing the right thing I told her there was someone else and that I didn't want things to go further w/o hurting her. Now this other girl (anne) about 2 weeks after I told lisa that there was someone else dropped me and told me we should just be friends. Well, I tried going back to Lisa and things just got complicated. We have talked about things I wouldn't tell anybody and she has to me. I still feel really confident and comfortable with her and my heart says to try and set the slate clean and let her know how much she means to me to try again.
This sounds so cliche but I'm willing to put everything out there. | A girl and I started liking each other I liked another girl told the first one lets not go further got burnt by second girl, went back to first trying to go for a blank slate. |
t3_2083v1 | relationships | Extremely nervous about meeting a celebrity whom I like too much | Months ago I [28F] met this incredibly good looking athlete through work, I was probably a bit star-struck but he was also so handsome, modest and easy-going that I got wayyyy too nervous, I acted like an awkward 14-year-old Justin Bieber fan. I'm extremely ashamed to admit that I 'anonymously' wrote "you're really cute" on one of the pages of his passport (I was preparing some papers for him). What was I thinking? I wasn't.
This has never happened to me before. Prior to this, I thought of myself as the most confident woman in the world!
So he emailed me just now to congratulate me on my new job, and asked me to let him know next time I'm in his town which is next week. I'm shaking just from the possibility of seeing him soon.
How do I stop being such a loser? I'd like to make a good second impression and be the usual calm and composed me this time. | I've met this celebrity and really liked him, I'm meeting him again next week and I'm shaking already/ How to calm myself down? |
t3_4vzt12 | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [19F] read all of my text messages and I as if she isn't respecting my right to privacy. | Last night my girlfriend came home late and needed to use my laptop for some homework so I let her. I woke up this morning with a note and her not at home saying how she read through all of my messages (which go back to January). The note said that she felt disrespected, hurt and betrayed by me texting a good friend of mine [19F] the day before about how I wanted to try and spend some more time with my friends and how to tell my girlfriend that. I had no ill intentions by texting my friend about this, I just wanted her opinion on what to do/what to say as I have a hard time expressing myself.
I talked with her for two hours about it today, she said how she felt like she didn't even know me and that she wasn't sure that she wanted to be in a relationship with someone who kept secrets from her. I didn't say anything about how she read through all of my messages but now as the day goes on, it's beginning to bug me more and more because I feel like my privacy was invaded.
I understand her not liking my friends very much but she would get upset or jealous when I wanted to spend some time with my friends instead of her. I wasn't talking down about her, I wasn't talking about breaking up with her, I just wanted to get advice on how to tell her that I wanted to spend some more time with my friends.
Am I wrong to feel like she invaded my privacy and what should I do about it? | Girlfriend read through all of my text messages, saw texts that made her upset and is now saying that she feels betrayed and hurt by what I said. What do I do? |
t3_1uiia4 | relationship_advice | 24f is having trouble progressing relationship with 24m boyfriend. Possibly NSFW. | Hello everyone. I'm having a problem with my boyfriend where I feel like we're not really progressing.
We both have issues talking with things that bother us and things that upset us that the other does. We have been getting better lately and I felt that we were doing better for a while but I feel that we are sliding backwards and that there is no hope of forward progress.
Here's an example that just happened today.
I like to chill in the apartment (we live together) without clothes or with minimal clothes because...I dunno, it feels awesome. Sometimes I'll wear "yoga pants" because they're really comfortable and it also happens to be too cold to lounge around in my underwear. My boyfriend, without fail, will start pawing at me and giving me "the look" and just generally making it obvious that he wants the V. It has really started to get on my nerves because I feel that I can't relax (by wearing little to no clothes if I feel like it) in my own apartment without getting mauled (figuratively). I have definitely brought this up to him because one of my biggest turn offs is really being pawed at when I'm just trying to relax. He then launches into this whole butthurt "omg then I just won't touch you any more ever again" which forces me to backpedal and say, well I guess sometimes is okay...
I just don't really know how else to explain to him that I don't want to be sexualized every time I'm not fully dressed, damnit. I of course love that he's attracted to me and can't keep his hands off me, but I don't know how to handle the situation where he gets all butthurt and throws his hands up claiming that he just won't touch me ever again. Why is this such a hard concept?? I have resorted to only doing this when he isn't around. Any help is appreciated; even if it's something to suggest to him that will help him not be upset. I mean, he doesn't own me so I don't understand why he thinks he can do this without repercussion all the time. | Issue is two fold; why can't boyfriend respect my body/space and more importantly why can't he respect my wishes without getting butthurt |
t3_1g1m82 | personalfinance | Seeking advice about whether I should move | My wife and I bought a house three years ago that was equal distance from where we worked. I worked an hour north and she works an hour south. A year after buying this house for $490k I got a new job working from home. It doesn't really make a lot of sense for us to stay where we are, and ideally we'd like to go about 30 minutes south.
The problems with that are our house has dropped in value since we bought it. Zillow estimates it's worth $428k but I think it's more like $475k. We put down $98k when we bought it. Also, the houses 30 minutes south of where we live are some of the priciest in the country. We'll have to spend $650k to get a house on par with our current $475k house. So we'd have to put down $130k, which would be okay ... if we could get most of our original $98k back.
A couple of other factors that are playing into this: new neighbors moved in next door and, to put it bluntly, they are assholes. They lock their three dogs up in a pen all day, never walk them, and because the dogs are bored they bark. We've tried to talk to them about it and they told us to call the cops.
The second factor is that my mother in law has agreed to go in with us on a home. I'm not sure how I feel about that because my wife and her mother can get on each other's nerves pretty quickly. We'd need to get a mother-daughter that has her own living space. She said she could kick in $100k after selling her condo. That would put us in a $750k home which would be pretty awesome, and by putting a big chunk of money down we could afford it fine.
My current thinking is we should wait a few years for the price of our home to go back up and to save more money (we have no debt, no car payments and about $75k saved in an emergency fund). My wife would like to move now because she's not enjoying the hour commute each way. To be fair to my wife, it doesn't make sense for us to stay where we are. But what's the best financial move? | My wife and I need to move closer to her work but the value of our house is down and the houses in the area we are looking are expensive. What to do? |
t3_2ywp4y | relationships | My boyfriend [27/M] of only 8 months has broken up with me [20/F] with no warnings | I started dating my boyfriend in July 2014 for a month but I
thought that our age gap was too big and thought it would be
best to end things. I had never had a boyfriend before and I was
going to University in October. But I thought about it and
realised that he is actually an amazing guy. He has all the
qualities I could ask for in a future partner. We therefore started
dating again and it developed into a relationship. The past 8
months were great and we never had any arguments or anything
and out of blue, he breaks up with me because he now realised
that he wants to settle down in the foreseeable future and have
a baby in maybe 5 years. I haven't had the chance to tell him
that I am ready to move in with him as soon as I finish my
degree (3 years) but have a child in maybe 6/7 years. I am very
mature for my age and am also very independent and do not
want to have a child if I am not financially stable.
Is it right if I ask him to see me soon, so I can tell him what I
had to say to get some kind of closure? Do I not deserve this?
Especially because it came without any warnings! | I didn't get the chance to tell him how I feel about the break up and need to do so to get closure. Can I ask him to meet me? Do I not deserve it? |
t3_39b3lj | relationships | My brother (16) found out that my boyfriend and I (19) are sexually active | So a little background: my brother and I have never had the best relationship, he is very rude and has very bad anger issues, he has hurt me before: punching me in the face and stomach as well as pushing me so my head hit a window and cracked it.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and have been sexually active a little over half that time. We are respectful and have sex while the house is empty.
Yesterday my brother said he was going out with friends so after we heard him leave we waited a few minutes and got down to it.( I'll admit I was a,little louder than normal it had been a month since we had sex because my iud was being sent in and I had it inserted Friday.) Well after a few minutes my brother starts banging on the door saying that we "better not be doing anything in the room or I'm beating someones ass" it turns out he was sitting outside of my room listening to us have sex. I talked to him last night after my boyfriend left and my brother admitted that he was waiting outside of my door the whole time. I think it was very wrong that he was sitting outside my door listening and I don't know how to approach it with our mom if I should even bring it up.
I talked to my brother last night saying that standing outside of my door was wrong and that my boyfriend deserves an apology the next time he comes over. After that was said he did try to rush at me but I was able to avoid it. He told me that if it happens again he's going to beat my ass. | boyfriend and I thought we were alone and had sex, brother was outside room whole time and threatened to harm us. |
t3_cpo5m | AskReddit | Seriously, does it really matter that much? | Okay. The internet is 99.9% bullshit at any given time. There are jokes galore, sarcasm, and, of course, trolls everywhere. However, it's entertaining! I love reading something really fucked up and having to wonder myself whether it's on the level or complete bull.
This being said, why do many redditors seem to feel personally attacked when they think that someone's leading them on? The last time I saw this happening, it was the guy with the cancer-stricken wife who turned out to be real after his personal life got attacked by several individuals from this site.
Now there's this wiggly thing, and all I can ask is who cares? I read part of the threads this morning, thought it was kind of funny, but it has *no real bearing* on my life, so why would I dig too deep into it? People seem to be getting a little pissed off that Wiggly might be a troll, but who gives a fuck, really? | Internet's full of trolls, who really cares if they're trolling as long as you're entertained re: GrandpaWiggly |
t3_1kpk53 | relationships | My [18f] best friend [18m] is ashamed of his SO [17f] and is ruining their relationship, any advice i could give him? | He's my best friend and hes making a huge mistake. He's ashamed of his SO, who i know he loves more than anyone else, and she loves him more than anything. He's destroying her more and more and ruining their relationship because he wont stop keeping her a secret from everyone.
Is there any advice i could give him friend to friend about this? I want him to realize what hes doing and i know he will regret this one day, but probably when its too late. I think he's more ashamed of himself and being with her, rather then actually ashamed of her. If he would stop keeping her a secret their relationship would go back to normal and she would forgive him. | My best friend is ashamed of his SO, ruining their relationship and doesnt care. He loves her more than anything and i need to stop him before he makes a mistake. |
t3_3zgeh7 | tifu | TIFU by telling my GF there are many ethnic groups in China | This happened a few weeks ago. FYI, I am Chinese and my girlfriend is mixed race (black and white). She hates it when people tells her she is not real black. We were talking about some news about immigration one evening, and she started telling me that China is not a very diverse country, with predominantly Chinese. Being the one who claims to know everything about China, I just had the urge to prove her wrong. "No, it's not true, we have a lot of ethnic groups in China. Some of them don't even look like Chinese. Some of them look like a mix between Han Chinese and Caucasians, you know, like, Uighurs." Just as I finished showing off my profound knowledge in China, I saw her face turned livid, and then she turned around and was about to cry, "XX, I am very disappointed that you would make fun of me like that!" "What?! No I did not!" I was very confused and little frustrated. Was she on her period? What just happened? Then suddenly it dawned on me that the word "Uighur" sounds just like "Wigger".
So of course, I have to google the word "Uighur" to show her that there is really such a word and I was not trying to make a stupid joke about her. Thank you Google for saving me! | I told my GF there are Uighurs in China. She thought I said "wiggers" and she is mixed race. |
t3_2m5qva | relationships | Is it appropriate for me [21F] to ask my landlord [60sM] not to show my room while I am home? | I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I thought I would try. I have been living in a basement apartment since July on a month to month lease. I have two roommates, one who I get along with great and one who is never home. Recently the relationship between my landlord and myself has deteriorated, and it's been decided that I will be moving out. The story behind that is confusing and not the point, so I'm not going to get into it.
This evening my landlord sent me an email saying he would be showing my room to people who would be potential renters. He said that he would tell me the dates and times people would be here, and I want to know if it would be appropriate to request that the room isn't shown when I am home. I work full time about an hour from where I live, the earliest I'm home during the week is 6:30PM and I do spend some time with my boyfriend, and I'm not home then either. I'm really only home evenings and weekends.
I want to be reasonable, I understand my landlord needs to find someone to move into the room, but the last thing I want to do after a long day of work is have a stranger in my space. I come home and just want to relax. Additionally, on the weekends my sleep schedule usually does a flip, and I end up being up all night and sleeping most of the day. I don't have any desire to be woken up so that someone can inspect my room. On the other hand, I know he has to be able to show my room and fill the space I'll be leaving open when I move out. Would it be okay for me to ask him to be conscious of my schedule? Even though we aren't on great terms I did pay this month's rent and I want to continue to go about my business as usual without nightly visitors. | My landlord wants to show my room to potential tenants and I don't want him to do so while I am home. |
t3_4kuiyn | relationships | Me [23M] with my GF [23F] of 2 years | Hi, I am 23 and have been with my gf of the same age for 2 years now. she lived with me for over a year but she moved out back in December. She was never direct with why, I tried everything but she just felt stressed out living with me. I didnt see her much for a few weeks after that but she started to come over again and I feel we made some form of recovery in the relationship.
The past few months have been great, I see her almost everyday. But recently, I fudged up. I was invited by an old friend from highschool to fly out to California to visit. My Father lives in Oregon so I planned to visit him for a week as well. I told my gf about it the second I decided I could do it and before I bought the tickets. When buying the tickets a few days later, I tried to save as much money as I can ( I am being laid off in July) so I found out its alot cheaper to fly on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I planned the trip and decided to come back the 9th of August. I told my gf right away and fudged up by not realizing her birthday is 2 days before I come back..
I know her birthday and even had gift ideas for the day, I love her.. I apologized as much as I could and called to change my flight. She feels she isn't important to me and that I don't care about her. I made a mistake. I tried fixing my mistake but feel there is nothing I can do. She wants to break up with me because of this. I know I fudged up big time but I just was being an idiot and wasn't thinking. Is this at all forgivable? Thank you and Sorry for the Wall of text. | Planned a trip to see old friend and family since I am being laid off, booked the flight and didn't realize I'm arriving back 2 days after her Birthday. Idiot. |
t3_1ksfao | jobs | Is this company real? Please help. I don't want to lose a kidney. | Please help me determine if this place is a real opportunity or a scam...
I went for an interview, the office space is in a suite with another company's name on it. After filling out paper work (the receptionist was playing pop music quite loudly on some shitty laptop speakers) I interviewed with a nice lady who seemed to be good at interviewing.
I got a 'second interview' which consists of going to the office for 6 hours of a 'trial run' of a day with other employees that already work there.
To me, this sounds all too familiar with other scam companies that I have read about-- but I've never actually been this far with a *real* job, so I don't know if this is normal or not.
**More information:**
This is their Linked-In:
Not much there.
Their website:
Most importantly: I found this:
Apparently this blog has an article on them, but doesn't actually say it's a scam. Just points out inconsistencies on their website. Also it says "ask a lot of questions if you get an offer" which doesn't tell me this is a sure-fire scam... So I'm still not sure. | I'm extremely suspicious about this whole thing, and don't really feel like wasting a 20 minute trip to embarrassingly find out I'm being used to do door-to-door sales for *free* |
t3_1lgewp | offmychest | My coworker is the mother-fucking man. | So tonight me and friend I'll call Johnny were working the late night shift at a local burrito place/bar.
Two drunk girls come in around 1:45 AM, best friends, and neither one can stop talking about Johnny. Both are cute, not total hotties or anything but good looking, with great bodies in their early 20s.
They get a table as close to the register as possible, and hang out until we start closing around 2:30. At one point Johnny heads over and talks to them for a few minutes, gets a phone number, and gets back to work.
Fast forward to around 3:15 and they still haven't left. We (the rest of our coworkers and myself) invite Johnny and the ladies over to the bar for a shot of tequila. They take the shot, and hang out with us until we are finished closing. I am talking to both girls while Johnny is taking out the trash (I know I should have taken out the trash, but I wanted the inside scoop) and they both tell me straight up that they are going to take him back to their place and give him the best threesome ever. They just moved to the city together from the east coast and are both horny as hell, and they go into great detail to me about this. I relay everything to Johnny when I get the chance, because hey, the kid deserves to know what he's getting himself into.
About five minutes later, Johnny is walking out with a girl on either arm and the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone, ever. I haven't gotten a text or a call yet, but I can only hope that he just had the greatest night of his life. | > Two drunk chicks walk into our work, want my coworker, stick around until we close, and take him back home for wild threesome. |
t3_3z60zy | tifu | TIFU by underestimating the curriculum | Little background. I'm in college having a degree in education. One of the requirements to graduate is to undergo practice teaching at a certain public school of my choosing.
So, that's what I did. I was sent to this school on November 2015 and I need to stay and teach up to January 2016. No biggie I can handle my job and my cooperating teacher (the senior teacher who I sort of help by teaching her class during my stay) gives her support always. The topics that I need to teach were about Volcanoes, Climate Change, and Constellations. I planned on teaching Volcanoes on November, Climate Change on December, and Constellations on January.
I was about to literally sleep now when it dawned on me that their quarterly exams (i.e. their exams featuring Volcanoes, Climate Change, and Constellations) are on 8 Jan 2016 and my students know no shit about Constellations because I thought that I'd at least have two weeks of January for teaching before their exams.
Classes start again on Monday and I got two days left to teach them all about Constellations. And if they'll fail, most of it will be my fault. | My students will have an exam on Wednesday but they still don't know 1/3 of the lessons because I fucked up. |
t3_28dddd | jobs | Need Advice, USPS or Correctional Officer | So I live in Florida and I have been offered a job in corrections. I can start in about a week. I am not certified so I will be paid less than if I was, but they will pay me as I attend the classes need for certification. The pay is salary, and if I worked 40 hour weeks, then it would average at around $13 an hour. I have also been invited to a group interview at my local post office. It pays $15.30 an hour, but I am not sure how many hours I am guaranteed each week. The job is for a City Carrier Assisstant. Also, this job isn't a career job, which leads me to believe that it is temporary, but I don't know for how long. I know it's just an interview, so I may not even get the job. I have a less than impressive resume because I've only had labor jobs. I know that the USPS is obviously a better environment, and probably better. I don't fully know the benefits or any other significant information on the jobs yet. | I was offered a job as a correctional officer and an interview with the USPS, should I take the job or go to the interview and try to work with the post office? |
t3_2gtud9 | relationship_advice | I [25/M] have noticed that my common-law wife [29/F] only wears her "sexy underwear" when I'm not around | OK so I've been dating my girlfriend for over 5 years, and we've lived together for almost 4 years so we consider ourselves common-law husband and wife.
Here is the issue: I have noticed that recently whenever we are apart for a few days, say over a long weekend or something, the laundry that she produces is often her sexiest underwear.
Recently, I was away for about 4 days and when I came back, it was like she had put on a peep show in the house. Even her very lacy, strapless, hot pink bra was in the laundry pile. The panties to be washed were all thongs.
And, of course, this is all underwear that I haven't personally seen her wearing in months. When we go to bed she's usually in her regular cotton panties, which is fine obviously, she should be comfortable, but then it's like she's a different person when I'm not around.
It's bewildering, and frankly kind of disturbing to me that she wears this stuff when I'm not around but doesn't wear it when I am around.
So, I guess my question is for the ladies - do you think this is a sign of something? Do you really put that much thought in to these types of clothing choices, or do you think I'm just noticing a pattern where one is unlikely to exist? | whenever my long-term girlfriend and I are apart for several days at a time she seems to wear all of her fanciest underwear, and yet I haven't seen her wearing it myself in months. |
t3_46nu1q | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [23 F] 6 months, sex life drying up | Me: Inexperienced, she's one of my very few sexual partners
Her: She's had 10x more sexual partners than me, likely around 20
When we met, she was in to sex a lot. We knew each other for about 3 weeks, the night we started dating, we had sex. Some days, we've had sex up to 7 times a day, when she's on like this horny "spree". This would put us at around 15 times a week during some weeks.
Now we are 6 months into the relationship, we might have sex once or twice a week, sometimes none. Given she is one of my first relationships, I never really experienced this.
It's not that I don't initiate it, she's just like "okay, good night" as soon as I get in bed, like to the point where I don't even bother going to bed at 9 PM to watch TV some nights anymore, and I just stay up doing work.
This might be normal in some relationships I would think, but given she has a sexual past of enjoying sex with a number of people, I kind of thought she would still be into it still.
Is such a massive drop off normal after 6 months? Friends said it would die off, but I feel like what they say after being married for 20 years. | 6 months into a relationship, sex life is 10% what it used to be. Is this normal at this stage? |
t3_43uznn | relationships | Me [22 M] with my roommate [22 M] that I've been friends with for four years. I think he's upset that I hooked up with his friend [22 F], but I can't tell. How can I be sure? | My roommate and I have been really good friends since we came into school as freshmen. We met because we lived on the same campus, and hit it off to the point where we spend an immense amount of time together. We live together, so of course we have fought, but I can honestly say that he is the most important friend I've made at university.
Last weekend, we all went out in a small group with a female friend of his and we hooked up. I've met her a number of times over the last year and always had a little crush on her. He brought it up to me the next day so as to ask what happened, and revealed that he too has always had a little something for her as well, but that it was okay. He just asked that she and I not come in the way of their friendship, which I found odd considering it had only happened once. Since this happened, he has been rather withdrawn from me, and to a lesser extent my other roommates.
He has some form of anxiety/depression that he hates talking about (he is receiving help everyone don't worry), which I try to respect as much as possible, but sometimes it makes issues like these hard to read. He occasionally becomes somber, and I can't tell if this is one of those times. I've attempted to talk to him about whether or not it's one of those times, but he keeps telling me that he is just tired.
I honestly cannot tell if I am imagining something, or this is irrelevant of me. Any advice on how to approach him about the subject, or even how to be the best friend that I can when he isn't feeling as great would be wonderful. Thanks for the help everyone! | Hooked up with roommate/best friend's friend, he said he has a crush on her. Now he is upset about something and won't talk to me about it. |
t3_1igklj | relationships | She left me. I could have had her back, and there was a time where I would have. But no more. | So I've had a bit of trouble maintaining NC with my ex. I'm not going to say that some of the fault hasn't been my own. But basically, the longest we've been out of contact was 10 days, and that streak ended 2 days ago.
It's become apparent that I was the "winner" in the breakup, although she left me. I'm happy about that.
She and I got to texting and she made it abundantly clear that she's not happy with her current boyfriend (guy she got with 3 days after we broke up...something tells me he was in the picture long before that.) and she says "Well if I leave him the only other person I'd date is you."
There was not even a thought in my head of letting her come back. That felt good.
I think my motivation for remaining so solid on the matter was that I wasn't going to be her safety net. I'm not going to be the guy she dates in between boyfriends.
It spoke volumes that she won't leave the guy she's with unless she's got me on lockdown to start dating again. I told her not to talk to me unless she breaks up with this guy; and its time that I become more resolute on maintaining NC. I've clearly been down the path to recovery for quite some time, and her being upset that she and I don't talk anymore only makes it that much sweeter. | My ex wants me back and is upset that we don't talk anymore. I'm wishing I could drink her sweet, sweet tears. |
t3_rvsh5 | AskReddit | How can I make my BF feel comfortable with me having mostly guy friends? | So I have always had more guy friends then girl friends throughout high school and college. I think guys are just more chill to have as friends and don't come with all the drama girls do. I know not everyone believes that girls and guys can be friends but I know they can from experience and never had any problem with that.
Recently my boyfriend of 3 years told me that it actually made him jealous and it bothered him that I would always hang out with guys, being the only girl in the group. He also believes that one of my friends might have a crush on me, although I am not sure I agree. You should know that we are in a long distance relationship (He is in DC and I am in PA) therefore we each have our own separate group of friends and he doesn't really know my guy friends all that well. Although he did admit that he didn't like it, he never actually asked me to stop hanging out with them or to stop being friends.
But when I try to think of it reversing our roles, I realize that I would be very uncomfortable and maybe even pissed if he was the one always hanging out with girls. I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him and he knows that but still feels annoyed.
I really don't want him to feel bad or jealous because of this and I want to find a way to make him feel better. But on the other hand I don't want to lose my friends.
Does any one have some good advice about how to handle this? | My BF gets jealous of me having mostly guy friends. I want to make him feel better without losing my friends. Any advice? |
t3_3poncg | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend 22 F] 1.5/yrs, she absolutely hates my friends and im caught in the middle | So i've been dating for almost 2 years. She is a great girlfriend, caring, kind, considerate, sexy. The issue we are facing is that she does not get along with my group of friends whatsoever. She is constantly bothered by every single thing they say or whatever plans they make. She calls them dumb, tells me she has no idea what i see in them and tells me they are effecting her life negatively. There is no real way to compromise because she does not have any friends of her own (except one who moved away). I have tried to be reasonable, such as leave early from events and skip out on a bunch of stuff, but even when she agrees to be around them she is miserable the whole time. I like my friends a lot, and even though they are kinda dumb, there has never been a real issue or incident occur that would make her feel so passionately.
She has had a history of bad friendships and has had trouble maintaining friendships even through college for one reason or another. I'm not against hanging out with her alone sometimes, but for events like birthdays and parties I'd like to be able to go out without issues, be able to include her and have a good time. | Girlfriend hates my friends, refuses to hang out with them or compromise with me. She has no friends that we can hang out with and I'm unsure on how to proceed with making this work. |
t3_1nq6jo | relationships | Me [18 F] with my friend [18 M], IS OUR FRIENDSHIP REAL | So there is this guy im rather attracted to as a friend and i like hanging out with him and talking to him ( NOT IN THE ROMANTIC WAY ).
The thing is i find our friendship a bit one sided, meaning im always the one intiating and talking and he does very little. Our interactions are mainly through text and its maybe once a week that we text about 10 msges.
I kind of find our friendship like a roller coaster, sometimes we interact more and sometimes not.
He does things for me such as when i ask him to wait for me after school just to head home together ( we dont even live near each other but we sort of go the same way home ) and asking him to go certain palces with me he agrees.
But i find it weird that we are not even close and yet he does that. I've been over to his house a couple of times too but its really really weird. Its mostly all quiet and watching television. | Im thinking he is just this nice to everyone but does it mean that our friendship isnt actually real at all?? Im afraid he's doing all these not because he wants to but because he's compelled to do so. |
t3_3hp9bp | relationships | I [26 M] am in a monogamous relationship with my gf [24] and two days ago I went on a date. Nothing happened because I didn't want it to and I feel disgusted with myself. How do I make it right? | Edit: maybe not obvious from the title, the date was with another girl.
My relationship with this girl is very committed, I want her for life. We'we been together for 13 months. I don't even know what I wanted with this date. Something stupid like seeing if I'm ok with being with one girl for the rest of my life.
Turns out, cheating doesn't really suit me. I grew nervous and guilty as the date approached, and when I saw the girl I had I date with, I had a very clear realization that I only want my girlfriend forever.
Went through with the date, didn't flirt, didn't do anyhing. On my way home I threw up a little in my mouth. Why did I even do this? I've had a lot of girlfriends, and my current one the only one I could see myself with long term.
I'm barely functional. I didn't sleep both nights since then. I was always on my high horse, preaching about fairness in a relationship. And I was, for a short while, willing to cheat. I want to tell my girlfriend what happened. I'll look like such a hypocrite in her eyes, which it seems I am. This date was purely malevolent. I had it behind my gf's back, who's always been only giving to me. I'm such a piece of shit. Seeing her sad about even small things is painful for me me, I don't know how I'll face her with this.
I'm crying right now at work. Hopefully noone comes in my office for a few more minutes.
I don't even know what I want from you guys. I just want to make it right with my gf and with myself. | Almost cheated on my gf who's as close as perfect for me as it gets, and it's destroying me inside. Need help. |
t3_387eyr | relationships | How can I [23/M] feel less insecure all the time in my relationship with my girlfriend [22/F]. Travelling Holiday Issues. | I've been in a happy relationship with my girlfriend for two years now, although I can't help but feel lost when I'm not with her. We used to see each other about Four days a week, but now with work relocations it's about Once or Twice a week.
When I'm with her everything is great, when I'm not, I feel horrible. We message each other often enough, but I always feel like I have to initiate and there is a feeling that I care for her way more than she cares for me.
We are both going on seperate holidays over the summer, and I can't shake the feeling of her cheating on me, mainly as she is going with a single friend who is a bit reckless and sleeps around a lot.
I stop myself from constantly messaging her, and have not brought up anything about my insecurities of her cheating, as I know this clingyness is a turn off. I can't help but feel how I do, I care for her so much.
Thanks for any help. | Advice on how I can feel comfortable with being away from my girlfriend, how to talk to her about my insecurities without freaking her out. |
t3_xxst5 | AskReddit | Love. Is it just getting so used to a person that it becomes painful for them to leave? | My girlfriend and I fight loads. In some respects I think she is very cool/intelligent/interesting but in others I often loathe her.
Trouble is it's my first serious relationship and so I didn't break it off at the beginning. Now I love her and it's too painful to end it, plus I can't stand the idea of hurting her, even though I often think it would be better for me. | It seems to me that you can fall in love with any joe blogs that you happen to be stuck with for long enough, pretty much regardless of personality. |
t3_46sgsf | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [27 M/F] have been together for about 3 years, I have been struggling with my weight and it has cause issues. | Basically I am overweight, I moved to my hometown and my girlfriend moved in with me. I had trouble career wise and it put me in a depressed mood, I've gained weight to the point where I don't like going out and I don't want to meet up with her family.
I have been trying to lose weight for about a year or a bit more and my girlfriend has supported me. She got drunk one night and told me that she doesn't feel the same way anymore and she is out of love.
I haven't been romantic at all lately, she is in nursing school and is always stressed. I do help her with that and have helped her on assignments but overall I have been a bad boyfriend. I am scared of losing her now and I am desperately trying to amend things. When I try to be nice now, she tells me well you're doing it because of what I said and insists she is still moving out and wants to be free.
I think she is doing it to motivate me but part of me is really scared of losing her. I am working out like crazy and trying everything.
Any advice would be appreciated. | Girlfriend says she is not in love anymore, I need to get her love back. How can I do this. |
t3_431ea0 | relationships | I (22F) want to move somewhere more affordable, I don't know if my boyfriend (23M) would leave his hometown. | I've been with my boyfriend for about six months. We live in an area with a high cost of living, high income tax, high cost of food, expensive gas, and rent is insanely high. I've been thinking about saving money until spring and moving somewhere more affordable than the place we're currently in. It's the sort of place where you could work 40 hours a week with a decent paying job and still barely afford to rent a room in someone's house while you starve. There are about plenty of other places in other states we could easily move to and have a much better time and a better financial standing.
The problem is, he's lived here his whole life so the prospect of living anywhere other than here scares him. He doesn't know anything else, so I think I'd be fighting an uphill battle suggesting that we move even though we can't afford to live here. He's content to live with his parents and mooch off of them until his music career carries him away. I'm incredibly unhappy here. I'm constantly broke and bored. I can't do many of the things I enjoy here (no rock climbing, nowhere to hike unless you want to bake in the sun, can't afford concerts, I don't have friends here, even thrift stores here are expensive, etc.) and he knows that I'm bored, so he may take my desire to move less seriously. He has bogus excuses when I bring up moving. "I have good things going for me here", "I don't know if I'll be able to find another cool band there", "I like my boss and I don't know if I'll find someone else I get along with" (he washes windows), etc. Typed out, this whole this sounds silly. How the hell can I ask him to move away with me in a way which will ease him anxiety and make it seem exciting? | I want to move somewhere my boyfriend and I can afford to live. He's lived here his whole life so I don't know how to ask him to leave. |
t3_4n4nf8 | relationships | Me [26M] breaking up with my roommate [27 M] who wants to move in with his GF | I happen to live with my best friend for couple of years, since we both got a job in another city. It was crazy time, and it was great. However, he has met a girlfriend whom he intends to move in with at the end of the summer.
I have a girlfriend who lives and works in another city (~100km away) and we see each other almost every day (i drive back and forth). yet she has no intention of quiting her job and moving in with me when my friend leaves, however, i can't afford to live alone (i don't consider coming back to the city my girlfriend lives since i make 3x her salary).
What should i do? I can't be a douchebag and ask my friend to stay. Obviously, I can't also force my gf (we are together for 2 years) to move to another city to live with me, yet I don't want to live with a random person, i already feel to old for this college stuff.
Is there a way how could i approach this subject of moving in with me to my girlfriend and don't sound like a scumbag that wants her to quick her job only so i would be able to afford the amazing place I live in. | My roommate is leaving, I can't afford living alone and would like to live with my GF who works 100km away from me, how do I approach the subject? |
t3_41n8w1 | relationships | Me [22M] with my GF [23F] who slept with someone on the morning we became official. Its 5 months on and now I know. | I had been seeing this girl since early may 2015 and we were seeing each other several times a week for 2 months but never talked about where it was going. 2 Weeks before I asked her to be my GF she told me that she hadn't been with anyone else since we met and "really really liked me" and that when I had mentioned that I had been on a horrible date with someone else a week after I had met her initially that she was "very upset". Fast forward to two weeks later and I'm spending the weekend pumping myself up to ask her to be official given my knew knowledge of what she had said about how she feels. 5 months on now I find out that she had been seeing another guy for over a month at the same time as me and on the weekend I was building up my confidence to ask her to be official she selpt with him. Such that on what she calls our anniversary, she actually slept with someone, but not me. What to do? | GF slept with someone on the day I asked her to be official after telling me only a few days before that she hadn't been with anyone since I met her. |
t3_2c4dsf | relationships | My long distance girlfriend [20F] of 1.5 years emotionally abuses me and I don't know what to do [20M] | Hi, I'm new here and i hope someone could give me advice or their insight on this situation of mine.
I've been together with her since March last year and she is probably the best person I've ever gotten the pleasure to meet and date. However, she is very insecure because her brother is a womanizer and she doesn't want to be a victim. So she made me promise a few things like, never to message a girl behind her back or have close female friends. I understand it completely(and i keep to this promise) but in return she must do the same for me( which she does)
Also she told me not to threaten her with breakups and leaving her because she doesn't like it. And again i told her to do the same.
We fight a lot, almost once every week, mostly during stress periods ( exam weeks, family Holidays). And for the past few months, she's been threatening to break up with me. I know she doesn't mean it because she's too engulfed in emotions but it kinda hurts.
The problem began a few days ago. Whenever i talk to her she would always find a way to fight or pour all her stress on me. Like every time i say something she gets triggered and i have to make her feel better for about an hour apologizing and stuff. And everytime she would say
" im leaving you" " I'm breaking up with you " "are you stupid? Do you have down syndrome?" "go fuck yourself "
I dont want to ever breakup with her but she keeps on saying this over and over again and it makes me feel so abused. But lady night was the worst. She told me to never call her again and she's done with me. Whenever i call her she would hung up or not answer at all. Whenevr i ask for her forgiveness she'd say no. I know definitely that this is because of her stressing out and NOT because of a guy. But i cant help but feel so torn apart inside :( what should i do guys and please don't tell me to leave her, because i wont :,( ive been crying ever since last night trying to get through to her. | long distance girlfriend emotionally abuses me and threatens to leave. I won't let her and i aint leaving too. What should i do? |
t3_10gq90 | AskReddit | Ok, Reddit, how do I deal with roommates that have just a different standard of cleanliness? | It's pretty self-explanatory, but I'll go into detail for more specific advice. Basically, it's the bathroom and the kitchen. Mainly the bathroom though, there is hair EVERYWHERE. The kitchen is just dishes piling up which isn't so bad and I would do them more often if I wasn't so busy (the dishes aren't mine, I mainly eat on campus).
Back to the bathroom, though. It's really gross. I share my apt with a girl and a guy, one with long hair and one with an afro type deal. My hair is med-short and it's pretty clear it's not mine. It'd be one thing if it was just in the tub, we've got a drain protector and just telling them to clean out the little protector wouldn't be so bad, but it's just everywhere. I stepped out of the shower today and immediately had a big clump of her hair wrapping itself around my foot. WTF. There's no way they don't see it, it's everywhere. I hate using my bathroom and that's not okay.
So how do I even bring something like this up? It's clear they don't mind and I guess just have a different standard of living than I do. Should I prepare myself to just be the one to clean out the bathroom every day? I cleaned DEEP last Thursday and it was good for a bit, but it's back to being ridiculous again in less than a week. | Roommates shed everywhere in the bathroom. How can I tell two adults to clean up after themselves without making a big thing out of it? |
t3_4uc666 | relationships | I [26Q] have no sexual interest, but am interested in a platonic partner. Additionally, I have substantial assets I am scared of being gold dug. How can I have a healthy relationship while balancing these issues? | So, I am in a sort of unusual situation. I am a 26-year-old person who is currently in counseling regarding crossdressing and gender dysphoria. Biological male.
I don't want to ID as trans here because I'm not sure I am yet, and that would be sort of offensive.
I want to have a relationship with a person (don't care about gender), but on top of my gender identity issues, I just have no sexual interest in men or women at all.
To me, the most important thing in a relationship is strong friendship and compatibility with the other person. I have not had a relationship since I was 15, which was with another boy.
Additionally, I have inherited significant assets recently - enough to retire if I lived frugally, if I was so inclined, but not so much that I could spend recklessly and be okay.
My question is how can I balance all of these issues to find a healthy relationship & partner?
It has been difficult for me, because most people, even if they can get over my gender identity issues, have some expectation of sexual relations in a relationship. And I'm just not interested; the thought of sex actively disgusts me.
I also do not want my assets to be gold dug from me. I do not openly advertise my net worth, but I fear that if someone gets close to me they could find out and have that influence the relationship.
I have a best friend who does love me platonically, but is also married. And I would not do anything to hurt that relationship; this is just to give an idea of the sort of relationship I would like to be involved in.
Basically, a very deep best friendship with a person who would be a life partner to me; a marriage, but without any sexual activity.
Is this a reasonable expectation, or are my circumstances so far outside of normal expectations that it is not feasible? If it is reasonable, how would I go about accomplishing this?
It does feel that way, sometimes. | I am a wealthy, maybe transgender person who has no interest in sex but does want a platonic relationship. Is this feasible, or am I too much of an outlier to expect to be able to accomplish this? |
t3_3iv6lr | tifu | TIFU by having to pee so badly. | I was coming home from visiting some relatives (and the city they were living in) and my cousin and her husband stopped at a gas station to buy this and that, while I had to stay in the car in order to watch over my niece and nephew. They took their sweet damn time picking what to buy and when they got back they forgot that i had needed to go to the bathroom and i had to remind them of that fact. After being told in an angry tone to hurry i rushed out of the car and ran into the gas station to get to the bathroom asap. I opened the door and saw two doors open in the bathroom leading directly into a stall so i went there, noticing the puddles of pee on the floor. After finishing up and exiting the bathroom i looked to my left and saw that the other bathroom had the male symbol on it and i had done my business in a womens bathroom. | had to pee, ended up going to a womens bathroom without noticing, found out women can have terrible aim when they pee too. |
t3_3lk4hb | relationships | How should I [16F] deal with the situation with my white boyfriend [19M] and South Asian parents [30sM/F]? | My parents don't know about my LDR (2hrs train) boyfriend for two reasons, I'm not allowed a boyfriend and because he's white.
My boyfriend knew about this all from the start and I really wasn't planning on having a relationship because of all the problems that would've occurred because even talking to boys as friends is a problem. But it happened anyway, it's difficult to deal with but its worth it.
Anyway, last week or so is the first time that I had realised it was actually affecting my boyfriend, he was casually talking about how some of his friends asked him if my parents knew about him, he told them no and they said it sounds off. Then he started to get irritable and I knew it was because of this. I told him how I wish so bad I could just have our relationship in the open, I'd love to talk to my mum about him how normal girls do.
I get scared of certain people finding out especially other Bengalis, because the community is tightly linked and they're so fucking nosy and like to gossip. Hence why I don't have any South Asian friends.
My mum had spoken about situations like this with me, saying how white/black boys will just use you and throw you out the next day etc it's so fucking horrible. And she'll poison me and herself if I did anything like that... It's so stupid, considering my dads been cheating on her for 10 years and she's just his slave basically.
Anyway, I don't know how to deal with the situation, I've kinda just left it alone and I don't want my boyfriend to feel like I'm not serious. And when I should tell them, I don't think I'll ever have the balls but what should I do if they do just find out? I'm surprised I've kept it hidden for 8-9 months. | Boyfriend is upset about my parents not knowing about him, I don't know how to approach the situation or if I should even approach it. And what to do if they do find out because they're very against marriage outside culture. |
t3_1lko34 | relationships | I [27F] need advice on relaxing about my bf [28M] of 1 year | We've been together 11 months and he's my best friend. He's the guy I didn't know I was missing through a decade of dating completely unsuitable men. He makes me want to make him happy, and I'm getting my shit together because I want to be ready for him. I know I would marry him tomorrow if he asked, because I want that life with him. We love each other and he shows me through words and actions.
He's the one saying "if we had kids" and "if we got married" and "I would like a house like this, would you?" and honestly I want it to advance to the point that it's a case of "when we..."
He's living with flatmates in a rental, I have a mortgage. I'd like him to move in with me but it would cost him more than his current rent if we split the mortgage payments, so I feel although it's me who should do the inviting, since he has to commit financially it's not my decision to make. The best option would be to sell my place and find somewhere together but neither of us qualify for a rental (v strange queue system) and I'd like a test period before committing to that, and he's not ready for a mortgage of his own.
I want to move forwards, but we're not there yet. What can I do to either advance a little, or quiet the voice in my head wanting more? | It's a question of "if" all the time... and I'm starting to want it to be a "when" or something actually happening. |
t3_2v4z03 | needadvice | How can I have my boyfriend over for the weekend without putting out my uptight and conservative housemate? | I am a college student and live in an apartment with two other girls. We are definitely all on friendly terms, although I kind of have my own life, and so don't hang out much with either of them. One of the girls has also consistently had problems with other people she has lived with because she is very intolerant of messiness and is also very conservative (read: very judgmental of previous housemates who she has heard having sex/showering together/etc). This weekend is a four-day weekend for us, as well as Valentine's Day weekend, and so my boyfriend (who lives in another part of the state) is coming to visit.
I have my own room, and am not a loud or messy person, nor is my boyfriend. We will have sex, but we are not loud, will not do it on communal furniture/in communal areas, and most likely will not do it unless she's out of the house, anyways (it's not a big apartment, and she's out a lot, to be fair). However, since she has shamelessly shit-talked former housemates who she has had trouble with, and I am a month into a six-month lease with her, I would like to preserve the peace. I'm a little worried that having my boyfriend around will make her uncomfortable, and would like to avoid the situation. However, I don't want to ask her permission for him to stay with me, since I am paying rent and he already made arrangements to come see me. 1) Should I inform her of the dates when my boyfriend is going to be here, ASAP, so she can prepare? 2) Since we don't hang out much, would it be too weird/awkward for me to offer to take her out for lunch/dinner/a cup of coffee as a thank-you for being tolerant of my boyfriend being in town for four days? 3) Is there anything else I should do to make as ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN as I can that I will be maintaining the peace?
Thank you so much!!! | How can I have my boyfriend over for the weekend while maintaining a friendly and comfortable relationship with my uptight housemate? |
t3_48o9pd | relationships | My (30m) girlfriend (29f) of 3 years proposed to me. I told her I wanted to be the one to do it, and now I'm a little mad. | Jenna and I have been together for three great years. I've thought about marriage a lot while I've been with her, but ultimately I thought it would be best to wait for us to be really set in life. Good jobs, a house, etc. I wanted to enter marriage with a secure life.
...and call me old-fashioned, but I wanted to be the one to propose. I just think there are some things that can change and all but I wanted that to be me.
Well a few nights ago at a restaurant we love and have gone to often, Jenna proposed. I was very taken aback and speechless and kind of disappointed, but put on a strong face. She did it quietly but still people caught on and there were some whispers and giggles.
When we were done with the meal, she asked me what was wrong and I told her that I'd said I wanted to be the one who proposed. She said that she knew that, but what was the harm in her doing it if we both know that's where this is going anyway?
I told her that I didn't think we were quite there and ready to get married yet, which is why I'd wanted to wait. She said that she didn't want to wait around for me to warm up to the idea, so she'd gone ahead. She said she'd even bought herself an engagement ring so I didn't have to deal with that aspect. She showed it to me and it's one we'd both picked out before, so that was fine.
But I feel like she's forced my hand here, and I don't know about our future together anymore. | GF proposed before I could, despite knowing I wanted to do it. I suddenly don't know about the future of our relationship, because it feels like she took the control out of my hands. |
t3_4v6ufh | relationships | My [24M] long distance girlfriend [25F] is thinking about making the move to be with me, but I have doubts, and I can't tell her as she is about to set up an interview and I think it will wreck her confidence. | My LDR girlfriend and I haven't been together all that long, a little bit over 5 months, 4 months apart. We have our issues, but when it's good, it's really good, and I think our issues are all the harder to work out because we aren't together in the same location. Coupled with the fact that it's such a new relationship makes me really hesitant about her moving across the country for me.
On the other hand, this could be a good first step towards a career, and it would get her out of her oppressive household mainly from her bipolar father.
Back to the first hand, I worry she will hate it here, especially away from her friends and mother. If she makes the move and we break up I don't know what she'll do. Anyway she has been searching for jobs in my area and she has an interview soon and she's wondering if she should make the trip. Of course I want her to make the move, but practically I'm thinking of the above. I don't know how to tell her all this without destroying her confidence for the interview. | LDR girlfriend wants to make the move to be with me, schedules an interview for a job near me. I have my doubts but I don't want to tell her for fear of destroying her confidence in the interview. |
t3_2pdzbn | personalfinance | Buy foreclosure with borrowed cash, fix issues, do a cash out refinance to pay back borrowed cash, ???, Profit? | Longtime /personalfinance lurker, here goes my first post. So I found a decent house in a town with low taxes, good schools (have kids), built 1975. The house is a govt owned foreclosure listed for $70k on a $125k assessment. I've been proactively approached by a family member to borrow the funds to buy the house cash. He has successfully helped others in our family buy foreclosures in the past, no issues and no concern for borrowing from this person. He proposed this : buy this house for $60k, fix it up to get a C/O and pass bank inspection, then put a mortgage note on it for $60k to pay him back, and come out ahead. The way I understand it, I would have $55k equity at that point, minus the money I have spent for repairs. Also a lower interest rate. I am fairly to very handy and have done or am willing to do any work besides electrical and structural. The house does not currently have a furnace (but does have all hookups and air returns), and it looks like possible water damage in the basement. I'd ballpark my costs to fix it up to be livable at around $10k, barring the roof being bad or mold problems, or anything else major. I'd of course get an inspection before anything. What say you? | Buy foreclosure with borrowed cash, fix issues, do a cash out refinance to pay back borrowed cash, ???, Profit? |
t3_3590ev | relationships | 27M - hung up between two great girls | I'm hung up.
I like a girl named F. She is attracted to me too.....she confirmed it a few night ago. The rub is she is not ready to start something at the moment.
She is in the process of recapturing a sense of self and re-discovering who she is. In her own words, she feels she is "a little fucked up" and "a hot little mess right now." She said she would not want to subject me to all of that right now (understandable).
She also said she can't give me a timeline with regards to when this season of life she is in will end. I told her I completely understand all of it, and will not pressure her at all or keep asking "are you ready now?" every month. I will give her time and support her as a friend.
While all of this is going on, there's another girl, J.
I used to like her a while back, but she was dating someone at the time so I moved on (they since broke up), but we stayed friends and would still hang out.
Just last week she told me she likes me, and has liked me for the last 11 months. Weird thing is she has been casually dating someone for the past five weeks.
So, I'm confused!
Things with F are up in the air, and I have no idea how long she will need to regain some normalcy. I can wait a bit, but I can't wait forever. I have to keep living my life.
And now J has told me she still has lingering feelings for me. I am going to see her in a few days, and need to further address what she told me last week.
Don't know what to do! I've known them both for over a year, so I feel I have a pretty good read on them. Both are great, and I see long term potential with either one.
Sigh.
On the bright side, at least this stuff is never boring. : ) | Hung up between two great girls. Need to choose one soon. Wait on one or take a chance with an old flame. |
t3_2wbvlb | tifu | TIFU By losing my virginity. (Maybe NSFW) | So I guess I knew I fucked up when I realized I only met the girl 5 days ago. I had surgery and was fucked up on painkillers and I was alone on valentines day. I ended up messaging her and we hung out. I shouldve stopped after we kissed, only knowing her for a day.
We hung out everyday from last Friday to today. It got more and more intimate as time went along. Knowing I'm not supposed to ejaculate (NSFW) for 3 weeks due to the surgery, I still continued on.
Finally running out of painkillers, I started coming to my senses a little. She came over again today and I started regretting inviting her over. We ended up getting high so I forgot the regret. We starting kissing right after and then we had sex. After, I started regretting again, knowing I just lost my v card. We watched futurama for about 10 minutes and she eased me into having sex again. After that, I finally built up enough courage to send her home.
She was telling me how after having sex with each guy from the past, they would lose contact. I told her we would continue to talk because I'm not an asshole like the other guys, but I feel like I really am. Now I know where my emotions lie, and they're not with her. I don't know what to do. | I lost my virginity to someone that I've only known for 5 days and whom I don't have feelings for. Help? |
t3_3w5n5s | relationships | I [M23] snuck around and found out a friend tried to have sex with my girlfriend [F23] | Me and my girlfriend went through a rough patch a month ago, where we almost broke up. At the time, she refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong, even though it was obvious that something was up. After trying to talk to her repeatedly without any cooperation, I began to suspect that perhaps she was cheating on me. So I went read her facebook messages while she wasn't looking. I know, It's a horrible thing to do and I should never have do it, but I felt like I needed to know the truth.
I found out that a mutual friend (closer to her) asked her to have sex with him, and she refused. We've since worked out our issues, or are on the path to working them out. Should I come clean? Keep it to myself? What would you do? | Had relationship issues, gf was't communicating so I freaked out and read her facebook messages, found out that a mutual friend tried to sleep with her. What should I do? |
t3_4idag8 | personalfinance | Underwater car loan advice needed! | It's actually quite embarrassing.. But thought I could afford to pay a car loan to build my credit and have reliable transportation. I then put down 2k in cash on a 2012 Nissan Altima coupe with 520 credit score coming out to 20.99APR. Car was 14000 which finally came out to 26000.... Grand total of 383 a month anf full coverage 180 a month. At the time I thought I could just pay on it bring my credit score up and refinance it so I could bring it back down. But no... Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way. But I'm now 24 and apartment shopping with my fiance. But these high payments are really cutting into our savings.. I need reliable wheels but I really need to get out of this underwater debt so I can afford to live.
Sorry for alot of the | But I really need so advice on how to go about this. My credit score is low and idk if i should sell it and get a bank loan on the remainder? Or? |
t3_vronm | AskReddit | A question of ethics reddit. Parents are trying to help me out but are unaware of each others actions. | ok so long story short, im going on a trip with my GF with weekend for 6 days. This has been planned for quite some time so we've been really looking forward to it especially since she has moved away for awhile for her job. Ive been having hard times with money and it was really bumming me out cuz I want to make this trip awesome. So for like the 2nd time ever, I asked my dad to borrow some money. Initially he offered up like $300, me being me declined and said that was way too much. He said $100 I agreed and he said he'd give it to me tomorrow when he picks me up for the airport. Well a little later in the day, I go to my parents house for dinner and as I'm walking out my mom slips me $100 and tells me "dont tell your dad, I want you to have fun". I hate borrowing money, I hate money. I took it cuz she seemed so sincere. The question is do I still take the money from dad? Or just decline tomorrow and tell him i worked something out. | Asked dad to borrow money, said ok come get it tomorrow. Today my mom gives me money tells me not to tell dad. What do I do? |
t3_292p5l | AskReddit | Why are believers of psychics/pa almost universally seen as kooks and disrespected, unlike the religious? | Let me preface this by saying that I hold no bias either way. I myself do not hold any disrespect towards anyone based solely on their faith, be that faith conventional or not. However, in a recent askreddit, I noticed that psychics were routinely described as kooks, scam artists, liars, etc. Why is it OK to disrespect them in such a blatant manner? Everyone bashes on /r/atheism for their behavior, but for some reason its OK if we bash people whose faith is a more unconventional one. "I've always wondered if those in these professions know it's a scam or if some truly believe they possess supernatural gifts." This exact sentiment aimed at priests, rabi, etc would get flamed and down voted into oblivion. | Christians, Muslims, Jews, and many others' beliefs are based solely on faith. Why are they given respect while ghost hunters, psychics, etc are not? |
t3_2wphc1 | relationships | My [30 M] best friend [26 F] asked me to be her "Man of Honor" at her wedding, and I need advice on how to respond. | We have been best friends for seven years now, and she's been dating a great guy for two years and they're getting hitched. Question is below.
So, I find it incredibly sweet and flattering she wants me in the wedding, especially that she would want me to be her Man of Honor (like the maid of honor, but a dude) however, I honestly am not sure I want to do it. I have HORRIBLE anxiety and sever Social Anxiety, which makes it nearly impossible for me to get up and feel like people are looking at me, judging, etc. As a Man of Honor, just the thought of it triggers my anxiety as this is something kind of unusual, and I feel like people will be judging and laughing. I know they won't, rationally I know they'll be happy for her and probably have no thoughts about me either way, but still....
She has quite a few girlfriends that would jump at the chance of being the Maid of Honor, and honestly they'd probably do a better job, but I guess my question is this: is it incredibly rude and insensitive to say no? I'll suck it up and just do it if I have to, and I'll act happy, but it'll be miserable for me.
Not belittling anyone who has been a Man of Honor, I just will be incredibly nervous the whole time and feel like I will be a bit useless. | Best friend asked me to be Man of Honor in her wedding, not sure how to respond to her as I honestly don't want to do it. |
t3_1ya7p0 | relationships | On "Break" Protocol as [27 M] with my [25 F] gf of > 2 years? | Recently gf and I entered a mutual "break" understood to last a few months. The reason was primarily because we both need to make some major life changes and need some alone time to work on ourselves. There are no other people on the side involved and I believe that if we're productive and successful we'll end up back together.
That said, we've been dark and in no contact (though we said we could do with occasional communication). I tend to just prefer no contact though (didn't talk on valentines day) as it is easier for me.
So - her bday is coming up and I want to do something - be it a simple phone call, card, small gift, etc. just because she's still special to me and I want to show her she's not forgotten on her special day. I'm not going to overstep my bounds at all here, and after it I plan to resume no contact.
I then ask - am I in the clear to break the no contact in her bday and if so what is my best course of action (card, text, phone call, send a small gift ...?) | on a minimal contact break of a few months, her bday approaches , I'm wondering what is best for me to do |
t3_4v4vok | tifu | TIFU by ashing in a water bottle | I am an overnight sitter for an elderly woman who lives in an assisted living apartment building. Some nights after she's gone to bed, I walk down the hall to a nice screened in porch area to smoke a cig or 2 and call my boyfriend, play Pokémon, browse Reddit, etc. As it's screened in, I usually bring a cup to ash in and collect butts. Last night, I had a half full mini water bottle in my bag and decided that would be much easier than using a cup, dumping the cup in the toilet, cleaning out the cup. All went well and as expected, it was a much easier and contained method. I didn't want to throw the bottle away in the room and risk anyone finding it, (my old lady has dementia and I often find her digging in trashcans) so I put the bottle back in my bag to discard on my way out in the morning. I opened my bag this morning to the enticing smell of old wet cigarettes. I hadn't sealed the bottle correctly, and the ash filled water had leaked onto my clothes, bra, shoes, and other sleepover essentials all night. It was NASTY. So, for the rest of my shift I had to walk my old lady to breakfast and on her morning walk in my pajamas, braless, with damp cigarette shoes on. You know when someone walks in the room and you know that they MUST smoke in their bed with the windows and doors shut because they smell like a hundred ashtrays? That was me today at this very nice, expensive dorm for old people.
On a happy note, it has prompted me to try to quit smoking again, and I passed up on buying another pack when I ran out today. Silver linings, right? | Spilled my homemade ashtray all over my clean clothes at work, spent the second half of my shift in a continuous walk of shame. |
t3_4anq1c | relationships | Me [39/F] with my boyfriend [55/M] off and on for 10 years. Not sure where to go from here. | The last few months we have gotten serious about each other. We've both been married before, and he made it clear long ago that he has no interest in getting married again or being a step-parent (I have a 5-year-old from a prior relationship).
At the same time, when my son is at his dad's I practically live at my bf's house. I have a toothbrush and other toiletries I keep there and he even gave me a drawer to keep a change of clothes. Then last weekend, he gave me a key to his place.
He tells me he doesn't want anything beyond dating but his actions seem to indicate otherwise. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I also wonder if this key is the last big relationship milestone we're ever going to have. The thought of that makes me sad, even though I'm so happy the way things are now.
So that's the background, now my problem. He is strangely close with his ex wife. They are friends and have a lot of friends in common, so they hang out often. They text each other about stupid every day things, sometimes when I'm with him. He doesn't make a big deal about it so I try not to as well, but it's weird too me that they are so close. I can't help but be jealous that he was willing to marry her (and be step-father to her kids) but he's not willing to do that with me. And I worry that he and I will never be as close as he and his ex are. My question is, am I being silly and need to deal with my insecurities on my own, or is his relationship with her inappropriate and something I should rightfully be bothered by? | My commitment-phobic boyfriend is besties with his ex wife. Should this be a problem for me, or am I being silly? |
t3_4vfvs6 | college | Which creative degrees are worth studying? | For context, I'm a 20yr old Australian girl who has put off university/college for two years now due to having too many interests...
When I say interests, I mean lifelong dreams. I desperately want to write novels (I'm a third of the way through writing a sci-fi dystopia at the moment), I absolutely adore music (I used to sing in a band and am now teaching myself bass guitar), and every night I dream about working in the film industry, acting or directing (I have taken up drama classes). I switch between these lifelong dreams on a daily basis.
SO... which of these is actually worth studying at college? Would you do a bachelor of arts taking each subject, or go to a specific film/acting/music/etc school? Can I teach myself any/all of these? Can I learn by experience? | to make it broader: of any creative industries, which do you find are worth studying, which can you teach yourself, which should you simply learn on the job? |
t3_qgpeu | relationships | Best friend(of opposite sex) acting strange? | For the past year and a half I(19) have known my Best Friend(19). She is extremely Beautiful, but we grew too close when I first fell for her and I put myself in the friend-zone and only know am looking back. I have dated other women, but my latest ex dumped me because of her saying that it is not natural to have a female best friend.
My best friend however has always had a strange choice in boyfriends, including drugies, people in prison, people twice her age, and my new personal "favorite" a drug-dealing person in prison who beats her and commits crimes blaming them on her whilst cheating on her with MEN. So I do what any best friend would and openly make fun of her boyfriends to her. I am apparently the only person who can do this, her parents, her other "best-friends" all attempt to but she freaks out every time they do. But when I do it she laughs as if I was telling any other joke.
I go to college out of town, and recently moved out of the town we live in. She is now constantly telling she misses having me around, and says she wants me back in our home town. Says she wishes that I didnt go after the girls I go after("manipulative crazy women"). What is going on with her??? | Best friend dates assholes, Complains when I date people, says she misses me being around, flips out when anyone complains about her boyfriend: laughs when I do. |
t3_wldx8 | Parenting | Present ideas for a 3 year old boy? | So my sister-in-law recently got married to one of my high school friends who has a two year old who is about to turn three in August.
I've been trying to figure out some things to get him for his birthday in August and for Christmas and since I don't have kids of my own I'm going on what he has told me he likes and what I liked as a kid.
Right now I know he likes Thomas and Friends, Cars, dinosaurs, and he loves painting.
I also would like to buy him some dvds of kids shows to watch since his parents don't have cable. I don't really know where to buy cheap dvds (except for ebay) but even if I found some I dunno what to get him. Two ideas that came to mind were Pokemon and Ben 10.
As for toys I know I loved Legos as a kid but he is probably too young for regular legos so I was thinking of getting him some Duplo blocks.
Maybe some dinosaur toys and some matchbox cars.
What about books or should I wait off on those? | I recently became an uncle and since I don't have kids of my own yet I don't know what to get my nephew. |
t3_394r5n | relationships | Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] 3 years, can't spend quality time together | We've been together for more than 3 years, living separately, and lately I feel like meeting her is a chore. Sometimes I try to avoid meeting with her. This sounds bad, and the first thing in everyone's mind is to just end it.
I care for this girl a lot. We have lots of common things, she understands me very well, and I like her personality a lot, she's unique in a very good way. I can imagine a future together with her.
The times we actively do something are good, but when we're alone, and try to spend some quality time, it gets a bit dry. We can't keep the conversation flowing naturally, and the atmosphere is a bit tense. I think this is the reason I try to avoid her, because we're not having genuine fun together. We're both introvert, and nervous type. The signs say she's not right for me. She agrees with the signs :(.
I can't leave her. I'd be stupid to let someone with these qualities go, she's the best thing that ever happened to me :(.
I need someone to open my eyes... am I just holding on for something that was never meant to be? Would this be better with someone else, regardless of my nature? | relationship goes stale, not always having a good time together. should I let go, with the risk of regretting losing an angel? |
t3_3eavpc | cats | So my cat seems to have a mental illness or rather said a "cleaning bug" | So my cat got adopted from my sister from a spanish death camp around 5 years ago and is living here for about 3 years now (my sister lives in another city and brought her cats once to our place and then decided to leave them here cause they can go outside). Before that death camp thing she was a stray cat.
My cat (she's basically called "meowmeow" since she always makes two meow sounds when meowing :D) can always go outside around here and there's no extreme air pollution or something that could harm her in any way.
But since her castration was done by someone in spain or at least not from an official vet around here we had to do it again and since then I believe something fucked her up.
Whenever I watch her (and she's not sleeping or eating) she's always cleaning herself. She can't walk 2m without stopping at least one time to clean her leg or something.
And it's not like that she really cleans herself. She smells so bad and it isn't even nice to cuddle with her or just pet her anymore cause you have to immidiatly wash your hand after it.
I've got another (male) cat and he's the complete opposite. He maybe cleans himself once or twice a day and whenever he comes in he smells like pure nature and his fur is awesome cuddly and yeah.
Is there any cat owner who has the same problem and solved it? I appreciate any advice that could help to stop that madness, it drives me crazy because sometimes I think she's sad that I don't cuddle her anymore because of her bad fur and bad smell. :( | My cat has a cleaning bug and I'm interested in any advice that you can give me about how to solve this issue. |
t3_1v780o | relationships | Me [21F] with my friend [19F] of a decent amount of time. Show's what I think may be interest? What would be the best way to pursue this? | Neither one of us dates. We've had the conversation before. She tells me it's because she thinks it's stupid, but if she's anything like me, then I'd bet she doesn't date because it's hard for her to trust a guy like that. If I told you that I don't date because I think it's stupid, I'd be lying. Neither one of us wants to put ourselves out there to just get crushed again. I have no intent on calling this chick my GF at this point in time, I just wanna party and have fun with her. On top of this, I'm intimidated by her. She's really fucking hot and part of me is having trouble believing that she could actually like a guy like me. Help? | How does a guy with trust and self esteem issues go about entering a relationship with a girl who has the same trust issues? |
t3_w6uj7 | relationship_advice | [29m] - Recently broke up with girlfriend [31f], now we have made lifestyle changes and feel differently about my choice, unsure what to do next. | Hi Reddit, first time poster.
I recently ended a 16 month rleationship with a girl I felt smothered by. She is 2 years older and there was an underlying pressure to move the relationship along: Build a future, make a strong commitment (engagement), discuss children, etc. For the most part this did not bother me because I was very much in love with her, and her family. Over time, as I worked through school and now a very demanding internship, the pressure wore away at me. She was also involved in a long process with her own work, offering very little time for each other. Our moods were, at times, volatile. Additionally, I smoked a lot of pot and just wanted time to myself to play videogames, which I found made me irritable when she would demand so much of my attention. Finally, I sunk back into a porn habit I kicked earlier in the relationship, and hung out with friends of mine she didn't particularly like. She was very overbearing, we were both stressed out, and my reasons for ending the relationship was simply to take the pressure off and be happier.
2 months later, we are much happier people apart. I indulged myself, but when the happiness of instant gratification wore off, I started to feel awful about my life. I have since quit pot, porn and really turned down the hours I would spend vegging in front of a screen. Her job ordeal has ended, and now she has more time to do things to make her happy and works in a more positive environment.
So,
We have both since been out on dates with other people.
We both still have feelings for each other and are in close contact after almost NO contact for a month.
I feel like we are both in a better place mentally, but we are very leery about giving it another shot. Her, worried that I would break her heart again (and that I'm reacting to her dating, which I did do.) and me, worried that all of my changes to my lifestyle won't change the way I felt about her over the long term (emotional, dramatic, overbearing). | Ended relationship over pressure and irritation. We both cleaned some bad stuff out of our lives and are faced with a decision to take another shot. |
t3_50k0zv | relationships | My [25f] husband [28m] pushes my buttons until I explode and blames me but then doesn't want to talk about it | Hi everyone,
I'm super frustrated right now and need to vent about this.
Two nights ago my husband and I had just got into bed after a long day when he puts his (what felt like) frozen feet on my bare legs. I jolted away and told him to stop because it's so cold. He then continues to do this multiple times until the point where I'm raising my voice and pushing him away. He then says he'll stop, so I lay there trying to sleep then he does it again! I just explode and yell why doesn't he have respect for me and how he's so childish.
Finally at this point when I've obviously gone over my boiling point, he stops and then starts mouthing off about how I have a temper and that I shouldn't act like that over sometimes so small.
We had a few more words and I basically told him to f off and I'm going to sleep. After we have this argument he still tries to cuddle with me, in which I push him away. The next day we both go to work and I send him a message saying that he doesn't respect me and how I'm upset. No reply. I get home that night (last night) and he tries to pretend that everything is normal. I ask if he wants to talk about what happened and his response, like everytime we fight is "I don't want to talk about it now, you should have talked to me when it happened and resolved it then" then he walks off.
I was going to sleep on the couch until he came to the lounge room and told me to come to bed and we will talk about it tomorrow when he comes home on his break.
He will be here in an hour or two, how am I meant to get my point across? He always tries to sweep situations like this under the rug. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. | My husband pushes my buttons until I explode and then doesn't want to talk about what happened once I say I'm upset and disrespected. We're finally having a conversation about it today. |
t3_lyij5 | AskReddit | Is This Guy Trying to Get Into My Pants? | I'm a 17 year old tall male who lives in the U.S. Recently I've befriended a pretty cool guy. Let's just call him Ralph who lives with my friend(roommates not dating or anything) and he is gay. I have nothing against gay people but one night I was down at my friends house drinking and Ralph came home with a lesbian girl and I was siting on the couch watching T.V. after several shots and beers and hits from a bong. Ralph and I got to talking, and being the youngen I am, I haven't had much experience with gay people, so I asked him and the lesbian girl some questions I had regarding what they think is attractive and what not (keep in mind I'm blitzed out of my mind).
So Ralph offers to make me some food which is really cool and what not, the food was good and I left probably about an hour later since it was rather late(4:30am).
Recently I got to talking to Ralph on Facebook and he is a pretty cool guy. I am no homophobe but I'm not into guys like he is, and he's been talking to me on and off which is chill and all. He just invited me to go to a karaoke bar with him and said he'd buy me a drink afterwards and I could stay the night if I wanted (Ralph is 24).
Now my friends aren't really as accepting of gay people as I am, but they think he's pretty cool and always joke about me and Ralph, etc.
Long story short, am I just over thinking this or does Ralph have a slight attraction towards me? | Should a 17 year old be going to a karaoke bar with a 24 year old gay male who will buy me a drink after and allow me to stay the night? |
t3_2d523o | tifu | TIFU by using a TV controller for scale (NSFW) | Thank you to mexican jello guy for inspiring me to share...
A little background: I'm in my 30s, as is my GF. We have a gorgeous daughter together, she has 2 teenagers from a previous marriage.
My girlfriend and I can be very playful...literally. Laughing before, during, or after sex is not uncommon. Jokes are made, dances may or may not be performed with flopping extremities.
One night, a few months ago, we're in the living room, and the size of the controller suddenly occurs to me. I don't remember exactly how we got there, but there we were....and I had whipped out my controller to compare it to the tv controller....hey! Look at that! It's like a black version of me with buttons and no hair! Side by side comparisons of it running along the length, lay on top to compare girth. All in all, less than a minute, no raping of the controller was done, just heavy petting.
Girlfriend and I get distracted, night eventually ends...
Next day. Kids home from school, normal afternoon. Her teenage daughter is watching tv, which she does too often. My gf makes a joking comment about her loving tv too much. At this point a new behavior presented itself...the teenage girl, trying to be funny, picks up the tv xcontroller, yes THAT tv xcontroller (x is not by mistake at this point), and starts lovingly rubbing it against her cheek, expressing how much she loves tv, and may or may not have kissed it...
Amazingly, I witnessed this, and held my shit together in the moment. My gf was also aware of our mutual fuckup as her eyes suddenly turned into soul-stealing saucers for a second.
After the kids were all in bed....we absolutely shared one hell of a laugh over that! I will admit, I made more than a few "just like her mother" jokes. Only mildly concerned Chris Hansen shows up in my kitchen one day.
I've since cut the cord, and the satellite company now has my xcontroller. And I'm sure there's a joke I'm missing about that. | used controller for scale, girlfriend's teenage daughter then cuddled with controller, waiting for 'to catch a predator' film crew... |
t3_3ye7er | relationships | Me [27 F] with my boyfriend[27 M] of six months; doesn't want me posting on /r/gonewild? | My guy and I have a great sex life: frequent, exciting, blahblahblah. We're really open about things we want to try, and just what we're into in general. So, that's way it's been, pretty much since we got together exclusively.
I'm pretty new to reddit, so he's been helping me get up to speed. A few weeks ago, he was helping me figure out which subreddits to subscribe to, so I asked him what his favorites were. He showed me a few, including "gonewild." I thought it was super hot, and I told him maybe I'd surprise him with some pictures on there someday. He made some jokes, and said to make sure I didn't show too much of my face, but I could tell he was really into it.
Well, I brought it up again a few days ago as something really sexy to do for New Years, and it seemed like he'd done a complete 180. He started talking about my job and how one of the things he likes best about me is that I'm a "career woman" and that he'd worry about the pictures somehow getting linked back to me because "it's going to be out there forever" and "there could be something in the background." Honestly, it didn't make a lot of sense to me, and it really bums me out because it's something that I want to do, and I don't think it's THAT much of a career risk as long as I'm careful not to show my face.
Honestly, it's not that I think his points are wrong, but there's something that I just don't like about the way he's presenting them. Obviously, posting naughty pics on the internet is way less important than the stability of our relationship, but it feels like this might be part of a bigger issue that I can't figure out. Like, I could just make a separate account and post them secretly, but don't want to feel like I'm hiding something from him to keep his approval. I want to talk to him about this, but I'm not sure where to go from here. | Wanted to post some sexy pics online, boyfriend doesn't want me to, not sure if he's being caring or controlling. |
t3_2rrojp | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of a year, having some issues with smothering | Hey all, I'm going to just cut to the chase. (Throwaway because she knows my reddit name and checks it regularly)
My girlfriend has been suffering depression her whole life. Lately, she's started having the idea that since we're together she always needs to be with me and I feel like she's smothering me. She really doesn't have any friends of her own, and when I tell her once in a blue moon I want to have a guy's night, it breaks her down, so I end up having to skip out on the guy's night to comfort her.
She does little things all the time, like check my bank balance and gets upset when I don't have a lot of money (at least 100 available usually). She doesn't expect or want me to buy her anything, but she lectures me about being better with money when she doesn't have a job of her own (she doesn't go to school or anything either), but I am a full time student who is also working 30 hours a week on minimum wage. Most of my money goes to bills.
She also gets upset when I don't let her check my grades, because B's have never been good enough in her family (she was raised in a very high-pressure straight-A household), so when she sees my grades it's all wrong.
It's been getting worse and worse I feel like. My mother has started disliking her because I mentioned I felt smothered and overwhelmed. We broke up for a bit, only to get back together because she cried and cried and told me I'm all she's ever wanted, all she ever needed.
Was I wrong to take her back? It's been maybe a day and she was already upset when I didn't respond to her almost-midnight text (when I was asleep) asking me to come give her a back massage. She also gets upset and freaks out if I take more than 5ish minutes to reply to a text message.
Is the solution to find her friends and end it? I feel like it may be. | My girlfriend was smothering me and I felt like it was too much and I took her back. It didn't change. Was I wrong? |
t3_3dceoi | relationships | How should I [24M] go about ending contact? [25F] (Not sure you can all it a breakup) | I met a girl online, and after a few messages she gave me her number. It took over 40 days for the two of us to get together for our first date (she's got a lot of things going on). During that time we texted pretty often, but it largely consisted of "How are you?" or "Have a good night!" - A lot of pleasantries without much of anything talked about. The first date was enjoyable, but it took some effort to get through.
I had a suspicion that we didn't have a whole lot in common prior to the date, but I decided to see how it'd go. The date pretty much solidified that thought in my mind. Afterward I was left a bit troubled. I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue since we still really don't know each other very well after only having met once. Maybe something would click later on. After thinking about it for a couple days, I think I do want to end it. She's a nice girl and I consider myself a nice guy, but I'm not getting much out of just being "nice" to each other.
Most recommendations from people seem to be that breakups should happen in person. How about in my situation? In almost two months, we've only been able to meet one time. Since we don't have much in common, I feel like we still haven't moved past that awkward stage in our interactions that you have when meeting new people. It might be weeks before we can meet in person to "have a talk". Should I just end things through texts?
She seems somewhat attached to me as well, so she's probably going to be pretty upset no matter how it happens. I'm not sure if that'd affect the approach to take, but it might be something to consider. | Met a girl online, texted for several weeks, and had one date. I don't think we have enough in common. Do I end it by text or face-to-face? She'll probably be upset and want answers. |
t3_1ratww | relationships | Me [27M] with my Friend [38M]. He got married years ago, I went to his wedding and didn't get him a gift. The whole thing was selfish of me. I want to make it right. | So I just wanted to ask what the right course of action is here. The backstory.
My buddy, who I'm in a band with, he got married in 2011 to his wife. The wedding was amazing, everyone had a great time.
Because I was an idiot, and I don't go to many weddings, I didn't get him a gift. I used to be pretty damn oblivious to etiquette, and of course, I ate his food, drank his free liquor, and didn't get him a gift.
So like 2 years later, it dawned on me - holy shit - what a dick move, right?
He has **never** brought it up, but I'm sure that while writing the thank you notes, they realized that they weren't writing me one, and it was probably clear to them why they weren't.
So - to make matters worse, despite being a poor grad student at the time, I made a large purchase that one might consider "frivolous" about 2 months before the wedding ("I should buy a boat"). It was a project boat, and while I got it for a steal, it definitely exceeded the cost of your traditional wedding gift.
I want to make it right, even if it's almost 3 years after the fact (June).
What should I do? My thought is to figure out their favorite place to eat and give them a gift card for their next anniversary. I really want it to say "I'm sorry I was a dick and I believe in you as a couple" (obviously with the gesture, not with the words).
Would you agree that this is the right course of action? If not, what do you think I should do? | Didn't give friend a wedding gift, but attended his expensive wedding, ate his food, drank his liquor, and had a blast. Our friendship is unharmed, but I would definitely like to make up for my idiocy. |
t3_3scja6 | legaladvice | Possible Security Deposit Issue (MN) | Hi all,
I have a sequence of emails to describe my situation, but as a header. My wife and I rented a place and were in a lease until Oct. 31.
Here I will share the emails:
>Me: Oct 14: "Do we need to schedule a walkthrough of the house? I will only be back to mow when I need to so I won't be going back in the house."
>Landlady: Oct 14: "No, I've looked it over. I'll walk through again at the end of the month. Unless something changes between now and then, you should get your security deposit back less any balance due of City of DELETED utilities. Thanks!"
>Me: Oct 14: "Okay. Thank you!"
>Landlady: Nov 10: "By the way, I did a more thorough walk through last week once I was sure no one would be going inside the house. Before I was judging by surface areas, particularly on the main level. However, after going through all the cupboards, I ended up having to get a cleaning lady in. The upper level bathroom cupboards were not wiped at all- they had hair and qtips left in them. The ceiling fan had thick dust on the blades, toilet bowls were dirty, dirt on the garage floor, you didn't dispose of the garbage, etc. I have photos. Anyway, I'm waiting for the bill from the cleaning person and then, I'll get you your security deposit returned. Thanks!"
My question is, if I get billed, she refused a walkthrough with me told me it was fine and then later said she did her inspection after the final day of my lease; Do I have any recourse when I am billed for cleaning?
As far as I'm concerned... by the end of the month implies before or on Oct 31, the final day of my lease. | Landlady refused walkthrough, said place looked fine and I would get my deposit. Weeks later told me that she would be billing me for cleaning. Do I have a chance in SCC for my whole deposit? |
t3_4lpql2 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my bf [24 M] 1.5 yr, love him but should we stay together? (health and money problems and my self esteem) | I love my bf but there are some problems in the background that make me doubt how things will work out I the future and if we should stay together.
Has talked lots about other girls and mutual friends from past who he asked out or fancied. I told him not to and how this affects my confidence self esteem (I've only ever slept with him)
He has a serious life long health condition which can cause him life-threatening consequences if he doesn't look after himself. I try to get him to and to talk about it; he has improved a lot but is still very defensive. I wouldn't want to marry him if he causes himself shit and ends up in a wheelchair or with brain damage through his own fault. Or have children with someone who could die young and its his fault not freak chance. Sounds really harsh though.
He has had problems with money and taken out a handful of payday loans over the years for small amount. Says he paid them back. I worry about his credit score and if he could get a mortgage and whether he'd pay the rent if we lived together. I've had to sub him on holiday before as he didn't come with enough money. He's not ambitious in his career whereas I am.
I have felt in past that he doesn't take me out/kiss me/ initiate sex/ want it as much as me / text me ect basically pay me attention unless I ask him to. Left feeling insecure and ruins sex for me as I feel like he doesn't want it. I know part of this is my own esteem problems but he's not that enthusiastic about stuff anymore and I don't wanna have to tell him what to do. | my first love - worried about his health condition, money problems and that he's not that attentive without me asking him to be |
t3_355vg6 | relationships | Me [37F] with my friend [35F], she really wants to settle down and have kids and I'm starting to think that being around my family is distressing for her | I don't know how to write this without coming across as self-congratulatory. I have a pretty decent life. A loving SO and a 3 year old son. My friend Suzy is a mess. In the 11 years I have been with my SO she has been with so many men I have completely lost track. She would tire of them and break up pretty quickly into the relationship and in most cases they were very wrong for her and I could never understand why the relationship had even started. All these years I never judge her. I swear. I just want her to be happy but she's not.
Now from our group of friends she is practically the only one without a longterm partner and children. It's started to really eat at her. If we try to say something encouraging to her about meeting someone, she says that our guys are great, what do we know. I think she is fantastic with the kids but I feel really bad abt inviting her over or scheduling kid-friendly things because I know it is such a strong reminder of what she wants in her life.
I don't want to exclude her. I make time for adults only time, going for coffee and other fun things. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't and I don't know what would be the best way to support her. Should I ask her whether it would be best if I never mention the kid and never ask her to interact with him? It's not like it will change anything, we all have children.:(
And with finding the right partner, I am totally hopeless there too. We are at an age group where all the single men I know are bad news and best left single. She keeps hoping for something good from meeting guys at bars (yeah, right) and Tinder. I'm not saying it's impossible to get a decent relationship this way but I doubt it. | Friend is bitter and upset abt relationship status and not having kids. I have a good relationship and a kid, maybe i should stop rubbing it in her face? |
t3_fucns | relationships | I am feeling a bit odd after my fiance moved in. I would love some advice. | Two weeks ago I proposed to my girlfriend right before we began to pack up her things. She said yes, and at the end of the weekend she was moved in. Fast forward two weeks and we are at today.
Over the past week I have noticed I am increasingly cranky during evenings, as well as slowly getting depressed. Nothing serious, just feeling sad. I am almost feeling a sense being an impostor. I am being myself, but I constantly worry that she will realize that I am horribly lazy, too childish, or something else by her being with me all the time.
Sometimes I feel bad when she makes dinner or does something nice. I feel like I am undeserving of it. I thought that doing something nice in return would make me feel better, but it doesn't.
I have talked to her about this, she is very straightforward about it. She has always said that if there is ever a problem she will say so, and I know this is the type of person she is.
Has anyone else dealt with similar problems after your SO moves in? (OR you move in with them) | My SO moved in, I started feeling like an impostor, undeserving of her, and somewhat depressed. I am confused and would like some help. |
t3_2tkw00 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my bf [26 m], he doesn't want me to move in. | Bf lives with a bunch of male roommates. I'm rooming with a friend atm, who has her own plans after lease ends. My lease runs out in about 3-4 months. I don't want to live by myself, but I don't want a complete stranger for a roommate. I told him I was contemplating moving back in with my parents until I save up enough money (pretty far away, across the country) but he said no.
He wants me to get a place to live near him so he/I could visit (we live an hour away from each other right now). He could easily just move out because I know he has enough money. But he doesn't want me to move back, and at the same time, does not want to move in with me. He also does not want me to move in with him because his roommates are against it.
Is it wrong to feel a little frustrated by this? We've been together for over a year now. He always says stuff like, oh if I could i'd move out with you, you know that. But he doesn't, and shows zero interest, yet is completely against me moving back with my parents, and is completely against me moving in with him, and against him moving in with me. And I personally don't want to live by myself right now.
Would like some insight on this situation. | bf won't move in with me, won't let me move in with him, does not want me to move back to my parents |
t3_43zzba | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Ex [19 F] 23 Months. I thought I was over her, recent events have made me realize otherwise. | Okay so me and my ex broke up back in October after a nearly 2 year long relationship, for reasons still unknown to me.
We've stayed friends since then and I've been seeing someone new but it hasn't got serious yet, and I thought I was genuinely over my ex
I found out a couple of days ago she's now with someone new, and while I am happy for her and glad she's happy again, part of me is.. Down about it, to say the least.
I'm not sure what I should do to deal with this, I know she's happy with this new guy and I wouldn't do anything to try and come between them, but every time I see pictures of them together or she mentions him it just annoys and frustrates me.
I was thinking of just cutting her out of my life, as it feels like the only way I can properly get over it all.
She doesn't need me anymore, I used to be the one that would be able to cheer her up when she was down but now she's got this new guy and has said that he's able to do the same thing.
So, should I? Should I settle whatever needs settling (She has some stuff of mine that I need back and vice versa) then cut her out of my life? | Thought I was over my ex of nearly 2 years, she's with someone new and it made me realize I'm not fully over her, should I get my stuff back from her and cut her out of my life or not? |
t3_3842uw | relationships | My [17F] sister [15F] gets extremely confused about small things, repeatedly asks questions about tiny nuances in conversation, etc. It's frustrating and is causing rifts in our family | I don't even know how exactly to explain the things she gets confused about because they're so absurd.
* If I say something in conversation that she doesn't quite catch, she asks me to repeat it. If I repeat it any differently than what I had said EXACTLY the first time, she gets extremely frustrated and repeatedly asks me to repeat exactly what I had said the first time.
* If I say "I guess" in response to something she says, she gets confused and asks me what I meant by that. I usually say something along the lines of "I don't really have an opinion either way", or "you're probably right", she gets frustrated and asks me to clarify even if I really don't give a shit.
* She basically doesn't like any sort of ambiguity in conversation, and repeatedly questions me about ANYTHING ambiguous that I say.
* If all my statements about my opinion on something, something I've said, something we're talking about, etc. don't line up exactly with each other, she gets frustrated and keeps asking me to clarify what exactly I meant by saying a certain thing.
I don't always remember exactly what I've said, or exactly what I mean when I say things! She does this to everyone in our family and it's really starting to take a toll. I don't even want to talk to her anymore because I know any conversation will inevitable descend into her fucking interrogating me about some stupid trivial shit that literally has no bearing on the actual point of our conversation. What is her problem?! What can we do to fix it? | sister gets extremely confused and frustrated about trivial details in conversation, it's incredibly difficult to talk to her at this point. What can we do? |
t3_379k9b | tifu | TIFU by opening the backdoor of my girlfriend's parent's house to let their dogs in. | So this weekend I went to go visit my girlfriend at her parent's house. I decided to sleep on the living room couch during my stay. Last night, (3AM today to be exact), the dogs kept scratching at the backdoor. My girlfriend, her parents, her sister and her baby were all asleep and I wasn't sure if they wanted to leave the dogs out in the yard for the whole night. The weather was getting nicer so I thought it kinda made sense but they kept scratching and whining so I get up and walk to the door. I grab the handle, turn it, pull the door and I immediately regret it. All of a sudden a security alarm goes off, blasting at full volume, at 3 in the morning. I facepalmed so hard as I listened to an automated voice on a loudspeaker say "A DOOR HAS BEEN OPENED. AN INTRUDER HAS ENTERED. THE POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED. PLEASE LEAVE THE HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!" It's repeating that along with an alarm noise going off. I decide to walk to her parents room (also on the first floor) to try and explain the situation. Their door is ajar but all the lights are off and I'm afraid of walking in because I didn't want to be mistaken for a potential intruder. I'll never forget what happened next. Her dad rushes out, shirtless, one hand holding a blanket wrapped around his lower half with a surprised look on his face, something straight out of a comedy flick. I try to yell over the alarm that I opened a door and luckily he was able to hear me even though we were right next to the loudspeaker. He puts in the code to shut it off and calls the police to let them know it was a false alarm. The next morning I tell my girlfriend (her room is on the second floor) about it and she didn't even notice. I'm not sure about her sister and the baby (also sleeping on the second floor) but for the most part it didn't seem like that big of a deal. I'm just glad I didn't get knocked out by her father for possibly thinking I was a burglar. | I open the backdoor to bring in my girlfriend's dogs, who were out in the yard, at her parent's house and end up setting off a full scale security alarm at 3AM. |
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