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t3_vhkzr | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, how do I deal with this strange workplace harassment situation? Details inside. | Throwaway account.
Where I work there is this guy who used to be on my team (to be completely clear, he does not work at my place of work any more. He quit about 2 months ago) who would constantly harass me but I put up with it because my manager is an inept idiot who refused to rock the boat and do something about the harassment. Now, every so often, this old team member will show up and totally harass me *while I am working on the job AND he does NOT work at this place of business at this time*. He doesn't do it to anyone else on my team. He singles me out entirely.
He's got me on his shit list because I rose through ranks quickly to the same position as him but in less time. Now, I do not ever hold that against him, or lord it over him or anyone on the team. That's not my personality. I try to be civil and accommodating to everyone as best as I possibly can. I am the epitome of "team player", so it stings a little more than it would normally with this guy because I've never done a thing to him, not intentionally anyway, that should warrant the constant animosity I receive from him.
To add insult to injury, other members of my team, who normally would be too cowardly to start some static, jump on the bullying bandwagon when ever this antagonizer is around.
Anyone in HR know of a situation like this? What options do I have? Is it possible to take legal action, or place a restraining or on this guy at least? This would be Ontario law I am dealing with. | Old employee at my work keeps showing up unannounced and harassing me while I'm on the job and he no longer works there. What do? |
t3_2gx80b | relationships | Me [26 M] just got out of a bad 2 year relationship, interested in a [32 F] | So I posted something here earlier about dating a crazy girl. I ended the relationship after we went long distance for 2 months. During the 2 months I met the 32 F through work. She's pretty awesome. She likes the same things I do, she's very laid back, funny, clumsy, real, etc. I just don't know what I should do. I didn't realize I was interested in this girl, it just kind of hit me one night. I don't know if I could really classify this as a rebound because I will admit, I was over my past relationship about 5 months ago and just kept going because she was so crazy I was literally scared to end it. Does anyone have any experience with this? I've given being single like a few weeks. I'm just worried I'm turning into a serial dater or something. | Just got out of crazy relationship that I've been over for awhile, found I was interested in a semi- coworker that's older. Worried I might be rebounding. |
t3_2dcig4 | personalfinance | Agreeing To "Paid In Full" for Collections Account | After recently pulling my three credit reports, I discovered that I have a medical related account in collections for $220 from back in 07/2011. After to some quick research, and writing down that I was going to say, I went ahead an called the collections to discus a PFD.
First women I talked to advised me "it wasn't something their company did", so I asked to speak with the owner of the agency. After a back and forth with the owner for a couple minutes, she pretty much reiterated the same thing. At this point I set my sights lower and disused a settlement payment for a "Paid In Full" status on the debt. She agreed to 75% settlement for the status, and I requested she mail me a copy of the agreement and mentioned I'd contact her back when I received the letter head.
My questions are -
- Did I go about this the right way?
- Should I have pushed the PDF harder and not settled for a PIF?
- Also, will agreeing to pay the debt end up hurting me since it will update an already 3 year old collections? Or did me just contacting them already update the account? | Medical Debts in collections from 3 years ago - contacted collections agency and agreed to settlement for Paid status once I received agreement in mail. Was this the right course of actions? |
t3_1n8m2o | offmychest | Tricked by a "fake" online dating profile. | I online date because my social anxiety makes it impossible to get to meet people in person. I've been on a few dates with people from Okcupid, great guys and gals all around just not for me. So, I've been continuing to look for someone who I get along with, at least to build up my friend base.
Today, a guy sent me a message. He engaged a point in my profile, very well (something nerdy that was sure to get me to talk no matter who sent it to me). I sent him a message back and went to peruse his profile, he had a lot of different pictures of himself and he had answered some questions, but hadn't yet filled out his profile. I was very attracted to him, so I kinda let it slide assuming it was a new profile.
3 hours down the line we are still shooting off messages to each other and flirting. He heads off to bed, so I go back to his profile and reverse search his pictures. Its a bad habit I have, in case people have blogs or the what not that I can go read and be generally creepy.
I get a direct match and a lot of hits for sites where it has been used. Apparently the picture is of a powerlifter who, a) lives across country, b) is quite a bit older than the profile claimed, and c) is married.
To say I am disappointed and mad at myself would be an understatement. I feel violated. I had a great connection with this... person to find out that part of our connection, granted a superficial, was predicated on an utter lie. I let my guard down for a night, and something happens to make me feel like I can't trust strangers even more. | Flirted with a person using a powerlifter's public pictures for three hours on OkCupid. Now I feel silly and stupid. |
t3_46yvjk | relationships | Me [35 M] with my GF [30 F] 2 Years, She Hides Things From Me, I Pull Back | Hi Internet,
My GF 30, and I (35) love each other very much, but we are continue to get into fights over the same thing. It's a cycle.
She plays things close to the vest. There are white lies. There is lying by omission. I never get the full story- on anything. I get that everyone does this to some extent.
When I get this treatment, I pull back. I don't want to pry or push, but I don't want to be a fool. I see through the lies, so I shut down a bit. I understand that this isn't healthy either. Two peas in a pod.
In response, she becomes very loving in a way that she isn't normally. But a short time later, she goes on the attack.
If before, when she's calm, she would admit to her behavior (not being open), now that she's on the attack she would deny she ever admitted to it. She'll keep fights raging as long as she can. She'll push and push and push, and I'll get the blame for everything except JFK's assassination.
If I don't bow out, that fight will go on indefinitely.
How can we cut the cycle? How can we communicate better so that we can get on the same page with this stuff?
I get the simplicity of it: communication. If we can't communicate, we're done. That would be a damn shame. But that seems to be easier to say than to do. I hope we can move forward. | GF isn't open or forthright, I get uncomfortable and shut down a bit. She goes on the attack. How do we stop this cycle? |
t3_19gjte | BreakUps | [19M] Trying to end a good relationship with [22F] | I met this girl at a club and we've known each other for 2 months now, From the start I knew we had no mutual interests and were not suited for each other, I knew our relationship was purely physical attraction. I told her this from the start but we continued to see each other.
We are both very intimate and when we're together our behaviour mimics those that have been in a relationship for years. Though we have nothing in common to talk about. It felt like just being in each others company was more than enough.
Knowing that we weren't going to get anywhere we tried to have a mutual breakup. The day after the breakup I couldn't get her off my mind, I thought about her the whole day and had terrible anxiety I never realised to what extent I liked her until that day but I avoided messaging her. Later that night she messaged me telling me how she was feeling, turns out she had felt the same way the whole day.
We agreed to see each other again but we both don't see the point. How are we supposed to end this? We know we won't ever date due to the age difference and the fact we have nothing in common. We have nothing to base our relationship off of. We are both hoping that later on as we learn more about each other we'll give each other a reason not to like each other but we both know we can't handle another day like the day after our mutual breakup. Will it be easier to end it with time? | Trying to end a relationship where we both are completely infatuated with one another but know we can't be together. How should we go about this? |
t3_kh3bs | AskReddit | I was bequeathed two silver platter's from my Uncle's estate and I need help translating them. Cool family history within. | What I know: My uncle's father was a higher up in Shell Oil throughout the 30s and 40s in Holland. During WWII, his father helped Jew's escape through the Netherlands onto ships waiting in the Atlantic. The Nazi's got wind of this and he was ordered to be arrested. Somehow his family got wind of this before the arrest happened and they escaped on the same boats he was using to smuggle Jew's. My uncle, who was 7 or 8 at the time, when telling me this story, vividly remembered seeing u-boats sinking ships around them while they were in the harbor. Crazy stuff.
So they fled to Argentina and while there, my uncle's father gets a telegram from Shell basically stating, "While you're there you may as well head up operations." That is how he became the man in charge of the Argentinian branch of Shell Oil.
In my uncles estate, among many other things that were left to me, were these 2 platters. Both have the Shell Oil emblem on them and have my uncles fathers name inscribed on them. I am the only member of my family who was in contact with my uncle so I'm trying to piece as much history together as possible. I could ramble on for quite some time about some of the stories he told me about this time and later on, growing up in Argentina, but I digress. | My uncles father helped Jew's escape the Nazi's, was eventually found out, and fled to Argentina. [Here] is a picture of the platters. |
t3_2svvrw | relationships | Me [21 F] with my best friend/hookup buddy of 4 years [22 M] i fucked up, got drunk, insulted his new hook up and slapped her. | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
I completely fucked up with my friend. We used to hookup (hooked up for about 4 years straight but never dated) back in the day and is one of my closest friends even though we don't hookup anymore. I went to the bar got really drunk (i received some pretty bad news that day) and he picked me up and drive me home (with his new hookup in the car). She didn't provoke me, even after I literally insulted her and slapped her.
All I cn say is I'm sorry and can reddit please help? How do i make it up to him? | Got drunk, insulted best friend/ex hook up's new hookup buddy and need/want to make amends. |
t3_105ggk | AskReddit | Can anyone help me lose about 15 pounds, and at the same time help shift my mental state? | This shouldn't even be difficult, but my problem is food. Half the food I eat is decent, and the other half is complete shit. I can't cut out the shitty part. It's like nail-biting - half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it. I just think "oh I'm hungry, what food place is near me?" Of course it always tends to be fast food of some sort.
This also includes soda. I drink a lot of soda. I tried doing coke zero/diet coke, but they just taste so awful. I'm not a morning person, so I need some sort of caffeine in the morning to wake me up. I don't like coffee, so I usually drink a soda. | Someone please show me a good way to lose a few pounds, but at the same time teach me to think of a different way to eat so I can actually keep the weight off. |
t3_1jygsv | relationships | I [20/F] am starting to feel sort of worthless. I tried dating again after a bad break up and up getting ignored. | My ex-boyfriend broke up with me in February after almost 2 years to have the single life and be able to flirt/fuck with other girls. I was a mess but lately I've been doing really good. I decided it was time I started dating. My friend hooked me up with (what I assumed) was a really nice guy. All was well for 3 weeks and we were having a good time.
This Sunday we were at the gym and he seemed distant. I asked him to meet me at the park after the gym and he agrees. I get there and wait a few minutes and he texts me telling me he can't make it. He said his friend had an emergency and he has to go over his house. I was a little annoyed but I asked him if we can at least meet after he helps his friend. He never texted me back and hasn't texted me since.
For some reason I always get stuck in these situations and it's starting to really bother me. I either get dumped for another girl, cheated on or just straight up ignored. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me like I'm not good enough. I feel completely worthless. I'm not worth any ones time. I've had anxiety issues for a while now and it's starting to really hit me again. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm now too afraid to even think about dating because I'm just going to get hurt again... | Starting to feel worthless after all my past relationships failed and they have left me for other women. Too scared to even think about dating anymore. |
t3_203tpl | relationships | I (16M) am having anxiety problems due to my best friends (16M&16F, Dating) | Hey guys, I wish I could be here on nicer terms, but I'm not. Alright, here we go
So I am friends with the two greatest people in the whole world, let's call them T and R. T and R are dating, and have been for seven months, and they are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. They saved me from making a stupid, irreversible life choice that had I gone through with I wouldn't be sitting here. I love these two greatly, they mean the world to me, but they're tearing me apart. They always act all lovey-dovey, which is great cause I get to see them happy, but it makes me very envious of them. I have tried and failed many times to get a girlfriend, and I have failed every time. But that isn't the end. T, the guy in the relationship, loves coming to me about his sexual exploits he has with R. And while it's great to see him happy, it makes me feel like less of a man. I just feel like shit, and that's without taking all the hormones into account. I know he doesn't mean any harm, but it's tearing me apart. I just feel worthless. And I know that some of the advice will be "Give it time, it'll work out" but I'm at the age where every little problem is like a massive, unbearable weight on my shoulders. I feel so insecure about this that I can't even read some of the posts on this subreddit because they revolver around sex. Hell, I can't even masturbate without feeling like a piece of shit simply because I have no girlfriend. Yes, this is stupid, I know, but I need help. Any advice at all, even if it's just "Stop crying in your soup" would be great. I want to go to them, but I feel like they just wouldn't understand. It feels like they rub in the fact they're in a relationship and I'm not, even if they don't mean too. | Two best friends who saved my life are rubbing in the fact they are dating and I've only been single, but not intentionally. I feel worthless because of it. Help!? |
t3_16hsiw | relationships | I [23M] am still thinking about my ex-gf after 3yrs. I have a gf [23F] and I'm pretty confused. | **1st relationship:** name: A. Lasted 4 years, started in high school and ended in the second year of university. It was a mess and it couldn't possibly work out at all; there was no sex (vaginismus I now think), we both had low self esteem and we spent too much time together. We were both possessive and even if we were aware of the problems between us we couldn't handle them. When we broke up (her decision, I couldn't do it) I was destroyed even if I knew it was the right thing. She said she wanted to keep in touch and I didn't disagree but actually cut her off completely. We just chatted a couple of times, friendly and awkwardly.
**2nd relationship:** name: B. still going after 1.5yrs. I am her first boyfriend. I like her and I like spending time with her but I don't fine her very attractive (she is slightly overweight and I don't like it at all). I think I'm not as involved as she is (she reminds of me 4 years ago, a naive teenager); sex is fine (she is very inexperienced, even compared to me!) but I don't feel there's anything amazing between us, just a solid quiet relationship.
Now, 3yrs after the breakup I still think about A, I fantasize about her and I'm not quite sure if I actually miss her or just the kind of relationship we had. I think she is completely over me and I wonder if we could get together again and make it work. My heart starts beating faster when I see a picture of her on facebook (I deleted her but she sometimes pops out in my feed). Maybe I just need some kind of closure and seeing her one last time might help.
Currently I live on my own, away from home and studying something I don't really enjoy; I feel a lot of pressure by my parents and I'm feeling really depressed. What should I do? | I miss my ex and I am not madly in love with my current gf. I am confused and I am an emotional wreck. Looking for advice. |
t3_4kls5q | relationships | GF [29] of 1 year blurted out something about her sexual past, how can I [24] get over it? | I never wanted to know anything about my gfs past, maybe because I feel (although I don't know) that she's had more experience than me. So in the beginning we agreed to not talk about this kind of past. Since then I have never asked about her past and neither did she ask about mine.
I sometimes want to have adventurous sex. We've had sex on an uninhabited island, on a mountain and other places. But she is always really reluctant about doing that, telling me she's never done something like that before, what if someone sees us, how she prefers to just have regular sex at home, etc.
Now during a fight (our first major fight, we don't fight at all usually) she blurted out all the occasions she had outside sex with past lovers and how memorable those were. Like in a parking lot, the woods ...
I stopped her right away when she started and told her I don't want to hear any of that. I don't want to be someone who judges others for their past but somehow she really struck a nerve and I feel incredibly bitter. I don't want to feel this way. Please help. | Gf told me about memorable adventurous sex she's had in the past and I feel bitter because I feel she's been reluctant doing similar stuff with me. |
t3_pae5z | relationship_advice | Talking to a nerd girl. Need help. | Currently talking to a girl who is a cosplayer, is in to comics, videos games, and pretty much everything nerdy. I'm looking to score major brownie points before we meet IRL.
Basically I'm wanting this girl to absolutely adore me before we meet. The problem is shes a bit more knowledgeable about the things we talk about most of the time and I normally feel like a tool when I say "Oh I love, X! It was a great (series, games, comic, etc)" only to have her quote something about it and it completely baffle me.
This happens a lot when we talk about comic books. Its not that I'm lying about anything when I say I like it, its that shes super attentive to detail.
I guess just any advice would help. | This girl i'm in love with makes me feel like I'm out of her league when we talk about shit I should know. Help. |
t3_1kzr5x | AskReddit | Reddit, why do you have trust problems? | Many people have trust problems based on prior events in their lifetime that affect them in many ways. What caused yours? Have you gotten over it?
For mine, it stresses how small petty things can make people have trust problems. It was a very small case and seems somewhat childish (and will after some of you post, I am sure) but a good friend of mine manipulated me online. I started talking with someone (friend1)in a game I had seen before and we got on good terms, were having fun, etc. then I asked my good friend where another friend (2) of ours had been for a while and she replied with something along the lines of "How should I know?". Jokingly I said something like "Maybe you are friend1 & friend2 and you're just trying to confuse me". From there on she said stuff that made me question myself. I am a very curious and inquisitive person and when something is on my mind I figure it out. This I couldn't though, because friend1 didn't know what I was talking about and I couldn't tell if it was just my good friend or not. It stressed me out so much I became sick and suspicious of both of them. It is small and petty compared to other people's trials but it shows how little things in life effect people negatively even if meant in a joking manner. It would've been funny if my good friend had simply said right away she was kidding but leading me on was what caused mine. | I was manipulated by a good friend and am very careful with trusting certain people, even talking with friendly people in online games. |
t3_2il82i | self | Is Photobombing mean? | This past weekend I photobombed a group of 4 60ish-year-old guys at a football game. I was in the background of their shot - picking my nose and making a face - on purpose. They didnt realize at first and sent it to someone, who then must have seen me and relayed back the false claim that I was flipping them off. The photographer then freaked out at me, shouting "did you really have to do that!?" and calling me an asshole. I denied it and played dumb, and when he offered to show me the photo I informed him (upon inspection) that I was just picking my nose. He seemed to calm down a bit after discovering I really wasnt flipping him off, but then his friend chimed in, taking my photo now with his phone and saying "douchebag" as he pressed capture. I asked that guy why he wouldnt just take another picture? Its not as if I had wasted actual film, and they were in the exact same position as the initial photo just 10 minutes before. I feel that their reaction was over dramatic, but I did apologize. I also should have owned the fact that it was a prank, but nontheless I think it spoiled the afternoon and I just dont know how to feel about it. Thoughts anyone? | I photobombed some 60 year olds at a football game and they didnt find the humor in it. Was it really that wrong? |
t3_2bgrp7 | relationships | Seriously, did I[25f] ask too much for my aspie bf[31m]? | So I was really stressed out today because of nursing school and my brother told me that he might move to san francisco from atlanta with his fiance; Currently they are taking care of my parents (my dad is disabled). That means after they move to san francisco I might have to move to atlanta to take care of my parents. Im currently living in chicago and have a boyfriend here. That means I'll have to leave my boyfriend and move back to atlanta.
Plus I have so much assignments to do today and I really wanted to see my boyfriend tonight and cuddle, so I texted him that I want to see him. He said in his head he was being alone tonight and don't want me to come.
It's not like I asked him to make extra time when he's busy, he was about to go to bed so I was just gonna join him and cuddle and go to sleep.
I felt I was being rejected because he was prioritizing to not screw up his plans and routines than me, so I got mad at him, and we had arguments, but he didn't understand me so I was still mad at him.
Then he said he's not mad at me so let it go; that just made me furious because he's not understanding why I was mad, and he's saying that he's not mad so I should just let it go without resolving the issue.
I mean, I just wanted to cuddle, that's all I wanted. Did I ask too much? | Wanted to cuddle tonight, my aspie bf rejects because he didn't want to screw up his "plan and routines". Got mad. Did I ask too much? |
t3_15csu6 | relationship_advice | She said I love you too soon, I said the same because I felt guilty? | I'm 16 and she's 15. I began talking to this girl about a month ago, things went well and I asked her out. We have been dating for just over one week and we were hanging out tonight, watching movies when she said "I love you". I was completely shocked and I tried to think quickly but I ended up blurting out I love you too. I don't feel that for her yet, I only said it because I didn't know how to tell her that the feeling wasn't mutual. Tonight will be the last time we see each other for over two weeks, and I feel that may have been a factor in all this. I'm not interested in breaking up with her because we have been very good together and other than this things are going very well. She texts me often but is not clingy, as in, she doesn't get angry if I don't text back right away and whatnot. So with this in mind, what should I do? Do I tell her in some way that I don't actually feel that way? I wish the "I love you" had not been so sudden so I may have had time to think about what my response would be but what's done is done and I did say it back. How can I proceed without breaking her heart? | My girlfriend of one week said I love you just before I am going on vacation for two weeks. I replied with I love you too, although I don't feel that way. |
t3_3grseu | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] 4 months. His coworker regularly sends him selfies and flirty texts, but he refuses to believe she is interested in him. | Last week I saw a text that my boyfriend's coworker sent to him after he hadn't responded for a few hours. It was a selfie, just a closeup of her face, and it said "feeling ignored :/"
To me this is inappropriate because in my experience people only send selfies in a flirty capacity. I don't think it's normal to send a message like that to a platonic friend. We send selfies because we want to feel like the other person is attracted and validate the way we look. I only send selfies to guys that I'm romantically interested in, and after asking my girl friends they all agreed that if they send a guy a selfie, they are interested romantically or physically in him. I honestly thought this was common knowledge and that everyone knew if a girl is sending him selfies, she is most likely interested in him.
My boyfriend maintains that this is completely platonic behavior and does not believe this girl has any romantic interest in him at all. I believe it would be inappropriate for me to go send pics of myself to another guy in order to feel validated, so on the flip side I think it's also inappropriate for him to receive a photo like that from this girl. | How can I make him understand that there is always an underlying message of desire when a woman is sending a man multiple selfies all the time? |
t3_g00oe | AskReddit | Frustrated Mechanical Engineering Grad. Wondering What Good Career Options Would Be | I graduated with a B.S. in Mechanical Engineering in December 2010, and I have had no luck in finding a job. I have applied to all sorts of entry-level mechanical engineering jobs and other entry-level engineering jobs that will take mechanical engineers all over the place (I have not been limiting myself geographically). I have had a few interviews, but nothing came of those interviews. I have gone to all sorts of career sites (monster, careerbuilder, indeed, simplyhired, and created accounts for numerous engineering companies on their websites).
I know my lack of experience is hurting me. I went to a Top 5 engineering school here in the U.S. where it is very hard to get out in four years. I usually took classes in the summers so that I would get out in a reasonable amount of time (4.5 years). Also, since I went to a Top 5 school, the academics were very rigorous leaving me with a shitty GPA, but I did pass the FE (Fundamentals of Engineering) Exam, and I am a certified Engineer-In-Training (EIT). I have knowledge of general mechanical engineering principles, CAD, FEA, Materials Selection / Failure Analysis, and Electronic Digital Packaging (through electives I took). I also held leadership positions in organizations I was involved with on-campus, and for 5 semesters, I volunteered at least 26 hours in the community.
I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on what I should think about doing. I have applied to all sorts of Mechanical Engineering jobs because I am interested in anything right now. I know one thing that has been coming back to kill me is the lack of hands on experience. I was wondering if engineering would be a good career option right now, or if I should try something else and come back to engineering later. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
I am a U.S. Citizen, and I can work anywhere in the U.S. | Having a hard time finding an entry-level engineering job, should I look outside of engineering for a job, and if so what would be a good entry-level job for a person with an engineering background? |
t3_yglsp | AskReddit | Scammy sounding "party/club welcome week" at my university | Just some background, I'm about to enter my freshman year at a major university in a big city in the United States.
I was recently invited to some Facebook event called "Welcome Week". Apparently some event organizing company planned a set of like 15 parties in one week at clubs in the area and is offering freshman a "totally great deal" (my words, but it's the gist of what they're saying) to get into all of them for the low low price of either $75 or $100 (they offer regular and VIP levels but I'm not sure what the hell's the difference).
Personally, I totally think this is bullshit. First of all, a bunch of kids are totally confused, as the university also has a "Welcome Week" (which obviously doesn't consist of drinking and clubbing) at the same time. Second of all, this just reeks of a company that's trying to profit off of the insecurities of 17 and 18 year olds who are new to college and worried they aren't going to get into parties.
I mean, I know I'm new to college, but I'm fairly certain that unless you go to Brigham Young or are a complete shut-in, you'll be able to find a party FOR FREE. Probably could find ten parties to go to for free in fact.
I hate to be a cynic about all of this but this just reeks of people trying to take advantage of freshmen, and dumb kids buying into it (literally). Am I just a wet blanket or is this as preposterous as I think it is? | University freshmen all invited to pricey club party week by big events planning company. Kids are literally buying into it. Is this as scammy and awful as I think it is? |
t3_glvn5 | AskReddit | Reddit, what should I do about my problem roommate? | My roommate has kind of lost it recently. Towards the end of spring break she started to ignore me a bit and wouldn't really talk to me. When we came back to school she had purple hair and a new tattoo and some other strange new behaviors, but still wouldn't talk to me. We were never particularly close, but we got along well enough to chat about our day and whatnot. Recently, she hasn't said a word to me. I'm not sure what I did to make her angry but regardless of what I do to confront her (in person, over texting, anything) she won't talk to me. I don't know how I can fix any of this without talking to her because I don't really know what I did to piss her off.
To make matters worse, she posts statuses about me on facebook right after I try to talk to her like, "People are so fake! Thankyou thats all :)". I guess I'd be okay with the cold shoulder treatment but she's also completely stopped doing her part in the room.
She trashes the bathroom, slams doors, doesn't take out the trash or vacuum, or pretty much do anything to help me or our room out at all.
Yesterday she sat in the room playing flash games while I was locked out for a good 40 minutes and was banging on the door/texting her.
Oh Reddit, I really try to be nice to her but she's rather difficult to live with. We share a small dorm, so I have to see her constantly. What do I do? The RA isn't very much help with these things :( | Roommate has stopped talking to me, began trashing our room, locks me out, won't discuss what's going on. |
t3_1a46y2 | offmychest | My mom is forcing me to go across the world with her to spend time with my father and his family (who have not been in the picture for the past 25 years) | To provide some context: When my mom was around my age, she met my dad and subsequently got pregnant with me. There had been a plan to come to the US (i'm from the philippines), but my mom had petitioned as single, so she had to go alone and was to send for me, and apparently my dad, later. As a baby I had stayed with my aunt and uncle and according to them and other relatives, my dad had somehow thought my mom had left and forgotten us (which is such bullshit, considering he wasn't even there when I was born, not taking care of me at that point). So apparently he left and according to my mother, had gone off with someone else.
Flash forward to 2011, when of all people, his son finds me on FB and messages me saying he was my father's son and that my father wanted to meet me. This didn't happen until January of last year, when my cousin, despite my efforts at a polite refusal, had told my father where we were staying so he could come from his place in the province to see us. It was awkward and painful, and I really hated my mother for forcing me into it. I had told her I didn't want to meet him, that I wasn't ready, but she didn't understand what I needed to be "ready" for.
More to the point, I don't want a relationship with him at all, and yet my mom keeps telling me to answer him when he texts me, greet him on Father's Day, Christmas, etc. Now she's doing it again, but this time, the rest of his side of the family wants to meet me. I don't, and therein lies the rub, Reddit.
Our flight's tomorrow, and every second I take packing is making me dread it more and more. | Mom is forcing me to spend time with a man that was not even there when I was born. Seething at Mom ensues; flight tomorrow. Dreading it. |
t3_2r6zna | tifu | TIFU by upgrading my phone | This TIFU started 3 or so weeks ago. Some background: 18 yo male in h.s with a gf
For my birthday, my parents bought me a new iPhone 5s. I had been waiting for this upgrade for 2 years so I was pretty excited for it. I was able to backup my old phone and transfer it to the new one. It all worked perfectly.
A couple days later my girlfriend tells me to turn on read messages. I look at my settings and see that they are on. I brush this off as some sort of bug, even though she tells me that "occasionally" it works.
Days after this my mother and father start giving me "the talk" out of nowhere. They warn me about sex over and over and it starts to make me a little bit suspicious
Fast forward a week later my parents aren't letting me go over to my girlfriends house. They say that she has to come to mine. This really gets on my nerves
I finally started to put these things together tonight. New phone. Parents constantly remind me about sex. Won't let me leave the house. Why would they be so weird about this.... FUCK
I come to the conclusion that they're somehow been reading my texts.
I approach my mom and ask her straight up if she's been reading my texts. She said yes.
So here I am reddit. Somehow there was a bug with imessage or something that sent all of my texts to my moms iPad along with my new phone. She has peered in on all of my private conversations.
Since she has been reading my texts for three weeks it can be assumed that she knows:
- I've had sex (even though raised in an extremely religious household)
- use the word "vajayjay"
- want my girlfriend to "sit on my face"
- and have been sent naughty pictures
These are just the tip of the ice berg. If I think more about what I've tested in the past 3 weeks I might go insane so I'll stop there | Upgraded phones, noticed parents acting weird and realized they somehow were able to read my texts for 3 weeks and didn't tell me about it |
t3_ej7el | AskReddit | Hey Reddit Hivemind, an exercise in objectivity: Has there been any Wikileaks Releases that have led to unfair or undesired results for either the public at large or specific individuals? | First time submitter, so go easy on me, but this is something that I've been wondering about. Think of this as debate class and you have been assigned the counter argument of an opinion you don't agree with.
A little back ground on why I posted this topic. I really enjoy the discussions on reddit, both the silly and the serious. And I find the public debate about WikiLeaks a huge milestone on the effectiveness of the Internet. I think WikiLeaks' actions will echo for years in governments around the world especially in legislation regarding the evolution of the technology that creates the public network. Personally, I like the idea of WikiLeaks in general. It's awesome and perhaps vital to have a place on the planet that whistleblowers can deliver information that deserves to be released for the greater good. I personally believe individuals and groups become more powerful by sharing info not keeping it to themselves.
Now the counterpoint, I can't help but also be reminded of the Valerie Plame exposure and the general consensus in most public spaces like Reddit was that the exposure of a CIA operative was a bad thing. Given the massive amount of info coming from WikiLeaks I don't have the time to delve deep and find out 100% for myself so I though this is perfect for Reddit! I'm not talking about undesired results from leaks like embarrassments for countries for opinions being released about so and so is difficult to work with and smells funny. Nor am I talking about releases that document the obvious like "Wow, Saudi Princes make it rain at strip clubs while their people are subjugated by oppressive civil morality laws in their own country" although these are important. I can understand a sovereign government asking "Hey, who are these Wikileak guys? Who are they to determine what is not a security risk to us?" In fact, I also wonder if they have an editing process to choose what and how much of some of this info is released? Internally, do they have a way to make sure they aren't metaphorically yelling FIRE in a crowd? So in the spirit of truly objective, homebrew journalism: Is Wikileaks totally benign?
And……Go Nuts! | How far is too far when it comes to releasing 'leak' information? Are there any specific examples where Wikileaks went to far? |
t3_1osh9q | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 1+ years, don't know how long this is going to last? | Well I guess i'll try to be as brief without leaving out too much because we've definitely had our ups and downs.
We've been together since the end of high school and at first we both didn't know where this relationship would go as she's 2 years older than me; we both decided why not just go with it since we really had feelings for each other.
It started off amazing, but as we got closer she started getting angry about the smallest things very often and would say things like I'm miserable when I'm with you, always taking her anger out on me, and when she cooled down from her anger she would apologise and we would make up and everything would be "fine".
We eventually got to the point where I couldn't stand it and wanted to break up with her. I almost did, but it broke my heart seeing her that sad so we said we would try and be better to each other, which we did and things looked good.
But lately it seems I've been the one getting angry over stuff that she's been doing; one time I took my anger out when she was there and in retaliation she told me she didn't feel that strongly about me anymore.
Eventually I realised part of it was due to my suspicions about her and another guy she's been talking to a lot recently. Deciding that it'd be better and more truthful than trying to watch her moves or being controlling, I told her I was feeling a little insecure, I told her my worries, clarified it and she said nothing's going on; I trust her and I drop it.
A few weeks has passed since and it seems like we're not as close anymore, she constantly lies about going to sleep / other things to talk to the other guy, we're not that intimate and when I say I love you she tries to change the subject.
I would love for someone to tell me I'm insecure and I have nothing to worry about but I would just like some opinions or thoughts. | I don't think my girlfriend has feelings for me, or at least not like she used to and she's constantly trying to find time to talk to another guy |
t3_1iguik | relationship_advice | Would it be okay to tell my SO that I need her to tell me that she loves me more often? If not, why? We're both 19, and I'm a male. | We've known each other for two years, and we've showed our feelings and desires to be together since around a year ago, but we've only been officially together for six months.
I love her, and I know for a fact that she loves me as well. The only problem is that she is too proud, and thinks that telling a man that she loves him turns her into a fragile dependent woman. I strongly disagree for selfish reasons. Through my life I have always given too much importance to verbal demonstrations of affection, mainly because my parents never did so, but my first girlfriend did, and I became addicted to being told I was loved.
I feel I could be happier if she said she loves me more often, but I feel I would appear extremely needy if I asked her to do that, pushing her away.
Should I tell her how I feel? Or should I try to get over this "needyness" of being told that I am loved? | I want my SO to tell me she loves me more often, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. Is it? |
t3_46z6mx | jobs | I'm staying in AU, going back to the US on 3/17, and needing to find work ASAP. Advice/Ideas/Help? | I've been checking craigslist daily, which is getting about 8-14 applications a day, and while I've heard back from a few it's been more of a 'Give us a call when you're in the states/Keep in contact' response. Which is good, and means they're still oppurtunities, but I'm honestly worried about getting a job within a month of being in my new home. I've also applied online to several fast food joints and markets, but recieved no response and most of the sites have limited function/access since I'm applying from another country.
If it's at all relevant, I'm moving to LA, and i have really limited phone access. | moving to LA in 3ish weeks from australia and if i dont find work asap im a bit fucked and im not sure what else to do but spam craigslist and mcdonalds/starbucks/safeway/etc |
t3_2uhrz3 | relationships | I[M24] have been dating my girlfriend[F23] for 4 years and have never met in person. | Alright first off let me introduce myself my name is nick and I have been dating my girlfriend breyanne for 4 years we met online and were just friends for about a year talking everyday and skyping everyday until one day I decided she was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the only problem is I am from Michigan she is from Washington and I don't really have the money to go visit her she has been begging me for 4 years to come visit her and I want nothing more than to finally be able to hold her hand and just hug her I have bills and times are rough and I just don't know what to do from this point I know this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with but how can I go see her in person and be with her. I will try and update as much as possible but please help me users of reddit | Gf of 4 years lives across the country and I don't know how to get the money to visit her because I work full time and have bills. |
t3_4tyh8x | relationships | Me [23/M] and my [ 21/F] bestfriend/ girlfriend have broken up. Feel lost. | Just broke it off with my ex we flirted and chatted for a while. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong or why she wanted to be just friends. Now I find out she has a date coming up with a guy she has been talking to for a little while from tinder. Fuck this shit. This is why I hate relationships. We talked literally everyday from dawn till bedtime since I've known her. And now we hardly talk and any interaction (we are coworkers) outside of work through texting/snapchat is always hostile. She didn't even tell me about this guy i found out by walking in a conversation with her and another coworker. She has tried really hard to hide him from me despite us being broken up. Which hurts even more cause shes keeping secrets and I don't know why. We said we would stay really good friends. But what the hell.
I just feel so emtpy and lost. Not only lost a relationship, it was like loosing a best friend at the same time. I dont really have anyone to talk to in person about this all. | We broke up, I dont know why, she will not tell me why. She has a pretty serious tinder date soon. I lost my bestfriend. No one to talk to. |
t3_3ory3s | relationships | Me [24 F] with my grandparents [70's M/F]. I need to tell them about my tattoos before my wedding in 3 weeks. | I'm getting married in three weeks and one of the tattoos that I have will show over the top of my dress. Not a problem for me, my fiance, or really anyone else. The people that it would be a problem for are my grandparents. They do not like tattoos, but for various reasons. My grandfather served in Vietnam and saw many men get sick from getting bad tattoos. He also believes that getting tattoos is covering up the canvas that God gave you when you were born and a sin. My grandmother I believe is a little more open to them, but I'm not positive.
Their son (39) got a tattoo right after he got married 15 years ago and they were very disappointed in him. My grandfather even got into a fight with him in public when he found out (nothing bad, but some yelling and a very tense atmosphere). My aunt had tattoos before they got married and I know my grandparents were not happy with that. I love them both, and am actually having my grandfather walk me down the aisle and give a speech at my wedding. I haven't told them yet because I am so nervous about how they will react. I don't want me telling them about the tattoo(s) to change our relationship, and I especially don't want my grandfather to not want to walk me down the aisle.
What I need is help on how to tell them that I have tattoos. I have 8 right now, but I really only need to tell them about the one that will be showing. I will be wearing a jacket during the ceremony to keep covered and warm, I'm hoping that will help smooth things over. What do I say to them to keep our relationship intact? | Grandparents don't know I have tattoos, I need to tell them before my wedding in 3 weeks. Need help figuring out what to tell them. |
t3_2jvsz3 | loseit | Water Advice? | I realize that for many people, switching to water is the first step in starting a new diet - I don't think I can... I think I'm looking for an alternate to water.
Here's my situation. Not too long ago, I drank nothing but water. I was pretty happy, healthy, and hydrated on roughly 6 bottles of water a day. I'd switched over about 6 months prior and felt good about it. Well, came to find out I needed birth control for medical reasons. Two weeks into it, water made me feel physically ill and I couldn't keep it down. Turns out I got a rare side effect in the form of a palate change, no more water for me. Needless to say, frustrating.
I've tried going back many times. Tried 5+ brands of store bought water. Tried the little flavor packets you put in water. I read something curious recently. Apparently increasing the protein in your diet can help curb this palate change. Does anyone have experience with this? | Water makes me physically ill from a palate change side effect. Looking for alternate, healthy drinks. Also does protein actually help this situation? |
t3_3ni5rq | relationships | I [24 M] found a texted nude picture of my GF [20 F], 3 years, that wasn't sent to me. | After sleeping in her room I found an SD card in the bed. After plugging it in to my phone, I found a WhatsApp backup folder which contains images that she sent and received in all conversations. I did not and could not read the conversations themselves. One of the pictures she sent is of her breasts and I am 100% sure she didn't send it to me. Another (received) picture is of some guys face, in bed at night, the day before. | Found her SD card in bed, checked it and found a texted nude picture that I never received, and a received picture of some guy's face in bed. |
t3_379uyy | tifu | TIFU by draining my transmission fluid instead of oil | This happened earlier this afternoon. Up until that point I'd had a pretty productive holiday weekend. I had a couple hours to kill before a family get-together so I decided to knock one more thing off my to-do list and change the oil in my 4Runner. And so I did. Or so I thought. I guess I wasn't paying attention to which drain plug I removed because it turns out I drained the transmission fluid and I added 5.5 qts of oil to what turned out to be an already full oil reservoir. *Then* I drove 3 miles to my parents' house for the shindig.
The only good news in all of this was that my drive to my parents' house was via neighborhood streets so speeds never exceeded 35mph. About halfway home from the get-together my dash lit up like a Christmas tree and that's when I realized I done goofed.
So I'm wondering how to proceed (clearly I need to drain the oil since it's way overfilled at this point). Since I actually drove a few miles with in this condition, when I re-fill the transmission, should I change the filter (which involves removing part of the exhaust, removing the pan, replacing the pan gasket, etc) or should I be okay having only driven only 6 miles at 25-35mph? | Thought I was draining the oil, turns out I drained the transmission. Then drove 6 miles before realizing my mistake. |
t3_1ml9nw | relationships | I (22/f) broke up with my bf (26/m) a week ago and he asked my friend if she would want to have sex with him. | so i broke up with him last week, i guess it was more of a break i suppose, we are suppose to meet up soon and talk
anyways yesterday i got a email from this girl i know and she told me that my ex had asked her if she wanted to have sex with her. My heart dropped and i felt as if he cheated on me( is this consider being cheated on) and then he messaged me right after and told me that h did ask her because he was mad at me i had dumped him, but he would never go through with it because he loves me , but my question is he just sorry because he got cought?
to add mre to this story last night he texted me he wanted to have sex with me, but just sex and that he would talk to me later | ex asked someone i know to have sex with him, he gets cought and then he tells me, then the same night he asks me if i wanted to have sex with him but he didnt want to talk things over |
t3_27krh2 | relationships | I (20f/m) feel weird about my bf (19m) watching porn | First off, I define as male and female which is why I put f/m, but am biologically female. It was a confusing step.
Anyway, I keep accidentally stumbling across my bf's porn. I haven't been looking for it, it just sort of pops up on my computer and jazz. I don't want to feel weird about it, I know it's totally normal but I can't help but feel insecure. Sometimes he goes through fazes where he doesn't want to be intimate as much and this happened fairly recently, but I find his porn anyway. I can't help but feel like he doesn't find me as attractive as other people (mainly girls) or I don't satisfy him enough. He tells me all the time I'm attractive and what not but I feel weird.
Should I talk to him about it or what? I don't really want him to stop doing it, I just don't know how to feel secure about it. Also, we've been dating for a year now and I still don't feel like I know much about his sexuality. He's not as vocal about what he likes and wants as I am and he's pretty quiet in bed so I feel insecure about sex sometimes. It's definitely a topic we don't discuss as much as I'd like to. We're super open about everything else. | My bf watches porn, I feel weird about it but don't want to. not sure if i satisfy him enough or am attractive enough. |
t3_1110gp | Advice | Looking to get first apartment; no clue where to start. | This has been a topic for discussion between me and my bf for a while. Right now, we both live with his family (parents and three younger siblings ages 16 and 18). I love them all, but HATE living there. Bf feels the same. We both have jobs with a relatively decent income (considering that we work at a convenience store), and have talked about saving up to get an apt. I went online and look at a few in the area, but other than that, I know nothing about renting an apt. I'm also not sure how to talk to my bf about actually getting one (all of our discussions have been really short). I'm just totally lost. Help? | Bf and I want to move out on our own, no idea where to start, also unsure how to buckle down and really talk about it with bf. |
t3_2sm8xu | relationships | Me [20F] is my [22M] boyfriend on the run from me?!? | To start off with, we have been together for 15 months and I love him dearly, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.
I just have to wonder about whether or not he feels the same about me. He loves his job and his hobbies and often prioritizes them over me. He loves to go spearfishing and often says that this is a need, but shouldn't spending time with me be a need and diving a want?? Also, he will never spend a Sunday with me and only every second day of the week, he says this is his time and he feels robbed if he spends it with me.
I can't help but feel like he is constantly on the run from me. We are currently in different countries for 2 months for work reasons and even now it is difficult to get him to commit to a less than 20 minute conversation every 2 days!
Am I wasting my time with him?
I don't want to be the jealous girlfriend, I am just curious as to whether this is a poor excuse for him not really being ready to commit to me. | Curious as to whether or not my boyfriend loves me as much as I love him, am I wasting my time chasing him?? |
t3_12kukc | running | Increasing Speed With Distance? | Hey, there! I'm a pretty new runner, currently on week 7 of C25K, and was literally straight from the couch. At the moment, I 'run' (if you can call it that, it's very slow) a 14 minute mile, and right now I go just shy of 2 miles in the program C25K program each run. Once I'm finished, I plan to go straight into B210K, which will hopefully have me running for an hour per run in a couple months, which should be 4.3 miles with my current speed / pace, which I feel comfortable with.
I AM interested in speeding up, however most of the stuff I've read said the best / safest way to speed up is to just run longer and farther distances, so I was wondering, when I'm able to run 4.3 miles in an hour, how fast of a pace should I be able to sustain for 30 minutes? I DO want to go farther then 4.3 miles, however, it seems more efficient with my time if I can get to running for 60 minutes, cut back my time and up my speed, and then work on increasing distance with my new time so that I will eventually run farther, but faster.
Sorry if that was long winded or rambling. But, | If I can run for 60 minutes at a 14 min/mile pace, how fast will I likely be able to sustain for 30 minutes? |
t3_fp8mh | relationships | Is it reasonable to feel jealous/worried/concerned if your gf (23) spends time with an old friend who, she tells you, feels strongly about her? | Ok, so I'm 24 she's 23. My gf has been spending time with a friend whom she's known for a long time. Last night she spent the night at his place because he was the only person who could help her design a website. Understandable, I guess, given that she has a deadline to meet and is just about panicking.
Due to her overwhelmed feeling from this work, whilst getting help from this old friend, she also happened to receive much needed comfort from him because I wasn't there (y I no know this website design stuff?...)
Long ago, I told her I didn't feel comfortable with her spending time with him since they had gone out on dates in the past. Well, this morning she tells me that he still has strong feelings for her, and continues by saying he has stronger feeling for her than I do (ugh, the nerve).. This is a bit frustrating given our 2+ year relationship.
I don't know reddit. Is it reasonable to feel jealous/worried/concerned that she is spending time getting school related assistance from this friend? I would hate to be one of those overbearing partners. I also did tell her that I was unable to help her much given my own large burden from school work.
She seems very moody (before I risk getting verbally slapped) since she began taking "the pill." Darn those mood swings.
What to do? . ..what to do . ? | Gf spending time with old friend (who has feelings for her) getting e-assistance. Is it reasonable to feel jealous/worried/concerned? |
t3_3yy0m8 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Ex [27 F] who separated 1 year and 3 months ago, have a daughter and now I'm waiting to get my car back... | Hello fellow Redditors I really need to blow off some steam/ request some advice.
The issue: me and my ex who were together for 3 years split up a little over a year ago. We have a 2 year old daughter and times have been tough trying to raise her together. So I called to go to family mediation with my Ex. In this session I gave her everything we bought together (since she makes less money then me, I thought it would be a nice gesture), everything except for the car we cosigned. The session was about 4 months ago, she was supposed to give the car back and buy her own. Since then I've been waiting patiently, and been driving my old beater. This thing is terrible! The signal lights aren't working so I have to used hand signals, the car stalls randomly... just generally unsafe, but it's still a car so I can get to and from work. She tells me she feels backed into purchasing the vehicle with me, and she hates it. It's making me so frustrated because I'm doing everything to make her life better. How should I proceed with this situation? I want the car back, but I don't want to deprive my daughter of her quality of life just because her mother can get her poop in a group. | Ex has a car that was supposed to go to me in agreement, but don't want to deprive daughter of quality of life by taking it. What should I do? |
t3_4hv6q7 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my friends [20/21 M/F] of 5 years, always believe they are right, laugh at the things I say, and feel like they shove me down/belittle me. | So this started when we were discussing puberty, and when we first actually started going through the beginning stages of puberty. Everyone had said something without any repercussion, or negative feedback. They had said they hit puberty pretty late, around in high school, with the girls saying they did not have a period up until 9th to 12th grade. When it came down to my turn, I had said that I believed I hit puberty in 2nd grade. They all busted out laughing and asked how I knew. I said well, by 3rd grade I had to wear C cup bras, and by 4th grade I had my period, and by 5th grade I was 5'7. They started saying things like "Omg, a 2nd grader with a bush?!" laughed some more, and then, out of the blue, said
>>"You know, puberty doesn't make you mature. We were just as mature as you without puberty."
And was essentially trying to make it seem like a put-down. That even when I could bare children by 9/10 years old, I wasn't mature. The conversation then took a wild turn to my personality, and how I am "so mature" that it makes me "immature", all the things they do not like about me, how negative I am (even though I keep to myself), and just a tornado of emotions.
It's sad, as I do like their company, but I feel they think I am impaired or something, always making me feel like I have handicaps. So that they feel good when they talk to me, because they are such good people talking to a handicap person. | Conversation with my friends about when we started puberty turned into a belittling, argumentative conversation about my personality, who I am, and essentially "Puberty does not make me mature." |
t3_2y8bxb | relationships | [18 M] think I messed up with [18 F] after a good first date | I met Sarah about a week ago and we went out for a few drinks the other night which went pretty well imo, we made plans to go clubbing last night and we were going to invite some more people. Sarah also got asked by her friends to go so also planned to meet them up there. None of my friends were available/had money/liked clubbing so nobody I knew could go.
At this point i'm pretty sure I messed up and want to know if I can fix it. I'm kinda useless at talking to new people, especially in groups. So when she said she was meeting other people up there as well I said sure alright, then i sent another message after this like the idiot I am saying actually I don't think I will go since i barely know people... I didn't get a reply to that just a seen. I will be seeing her Tuesday so maybe I could talk to her then?
This is the most successful I have been on a date before so do you think there any way I could fix this or what do you think will happen? | Made plans to go clubbing then didn't go because didn't know her friends and i'm bad with them situations. |
t3_31tb34 | Advice | False nurse evaluation led to my grandmothers death | *I apologize in advance if any part of this isn't cohesive; I am currently seething with rage about the situation.*
My grandmother belongs to a nursing agency in NYC. A week or so ago, a nurse from the agency came by our home to do a psych evaluation to determine whether or not she should receive increased or reduced hours for her home care aid. My father who was home at the time saw that the nurse was speaking to my grandmother and she was struggling to answer (she has dementia) and so my father intervened and started to answer some of the basic question like where she was born, what her birthday is, etc. He did not know that this was an evaluation because the company itself is supposed to conduct an evaluation every 6 months and the last evaluation was on 11/05/14. Well... some time passed and we received a letter yesterday stating that my grandmother was to have her hours reduced. My mother immediately called the agency wanting answers and they said that the report showed my grandmother in perfect health and was able to answer all the evaluation questions; basically the nurse took my fathers responses as my grandmothers. My grandmother overheard the news that she was to have her home care aid hours reduced substantially and went into cardiac arrest. She was pronounced dead at the hospital not long after.
My question is... can we seek legal action against the nursing agency? If so, to what extent? | Nursing agency employee provided a false evaluation to the agency which caused unnecessary grief to my grandmother which caused her to go into cardiac arrest. Can I pursue legal action? |
t3_3xc3q6 | relationships | Me [29 F] with my friend/colleague? [30's M] 6 months, he has helped me tremendously - what is appropriate to thank him? | hi all!
I'm an artist working in a new creative field. This summer I met a group of people who work in this field. They meet up, share work, hook each other up with gigs. It's great. Everyone has been so nice. The guy who started the group has hooked me up with work that has honestly been life-changing in terms of getting in the game.
He is married, I am married, there's nothing remotely there in terms of flirtation. We message a bit about work and life, and it's fun to talk shop. We have said we should meet up with our spouses, but haven't yet because we live 45 mins apart and are busy.
So, I just saw this amazing new book in our field come out, and my first thought is to get it for him to thank him. It's about $50. I want to really genuinely thank him for almost singularly getting the ball rolling for me. Just recently he recommended me for a job that will pay the rent for months.
He is a little reserved but we have struck up a nice friendship. I just don't want to overstep. has anyone been in this situation? | new colleague/ friend has almost singularly jump started my career, but I don't want to be inappropriate by getting him a present. How to thank him? |
t3_41bx97 | relationships | My ex-girlfriend [20/F] told me she feels hurt when I [22/M] talk about other girls online. | ... but only the ones in regards to the time period when we were together. Even if they were strangers or friends. For example, about the time we met in 2014, there was this girl I met at a bar. Literally, just a girl I made small-talk with because she was from the same city I live in. She was cute, sure, but my interest was only in my now-ex, so my friends got mad at me that I didn't get her number or anything. (Apparently she was really into me, and I was an idiot for not going after it even though I was basically taken.) This was now over a year ago. I was reminiscing about said girl on Twitter, meaning absolutely no harm to anyone, and my ex-girlfriend must have seen this. (She still follows me there, so I know that she reads all my stuff, but I don't really think about it much anymore.) I wasn't talking about my ex at all in said tweet, just that it was "last December". Anyways, we were talking today, and she told me how talking about that girl made her feel horrible, and with other things I also posted to Twitter, she felt like I was insulting our relationship and that I was somehow disregarding her.
Now, she's been with her current boyfriend for a few months and they're 'happy', but I'm just completely lost as to why she would feel so personally attacked with my comments on past experiences that honestly didn't mean her or anyone any harm. I'm more than positive her goal was to make me feel guilty, and it didn't work, but it's still baffling to hear come from her.
I went on an amazing date recently, and even though I think there's a part of me that still has feelings for my ex, it's not in the way that makes me want to date her again. She noted that she "doesn't care" about me being with other people *currently*, but her actions the past few months really make me think otherwise.
Am I just looking to into this? | My ex-girlfriend of nearly a year reveals she feels hurt, insulted and disregarded when I talk about girls/anything when we were together. I don't understand any of her comments and it's rather annoying at this point. |
t3_2t2aef | legaladvice | [US, KY]Questions about a car loan.. | I'll try to keep this clusterfuck as short as possible.
My mother bought a brand new SUV in 2008 and financed though a shady loan company. I don't know their name only that their call centers are in India. A few years in she lost her job due to injury and the truck was repo'ed. When she was approved for disability and got a lump sum check, she took ownership of the car and paid them almost $1600 in back payments and fees to have them release it to her. I believe this was 2011.
She has since been recieving calls for them within the past 2 months about an additional $800 she owes in fees from the repossession. She does not have the money to pay it and they are threatening repossession on January 22.
The thing is, she has met both the principal with interest amount and the number of payments that was outlined in her original contract. I read all of the papers that she was provided and the statement of her payment breakdowns and she has met all the terms of the loan. I know she had some late fees, late payments, and repo fees but the paper provided to her at the time she picked up the car from an auction house out of state,shows that the balance of the loan was current. Again, there are no branches or locations in the US to visit or call and they are unable or unwilling to provide her a US phone number to call.
I know with loans of this type they have crazy interest rates and fees that are assessed when you default on a payment but there is no mention of it in the contract that she was provided with. I have advised her to contact them and request any paperwork they have on the terms of the loan but it is unlikely it will be here before the 22nd.
Is this worth contacting an attorney for? In the course of her 6 year loan (actually she has paid for 6.5 already) she has paid over $50K for a $31K SUV. It's really gonna suck for her to lose that now and they are saying the pay off of the loan is still almosy $9K but cannot provide any paperwork that she signed that extended the length of her loan. | My mom is stupid and signed her soul over for a car and now she can't seem to pay it off and can't sell it for as much as she owes. |
t3_2pfvy1 | dating_advice | I was given the phone number of a "secret admirer" at dinner tonight. When should/should I call it? | Just for clarity's sake, I'm a guy. Went out to dinner with my mother tonight. Had some time on my hands before she picked me up so I decided to dress up a little bit. Turned out to be a good decision!
When I was leaving the restaurant our waitress stopped me and said,
"Someone wanted me to give this to you."
She handed me a folded slip of receipt paper with a phone number and a name on it.
Now I assume this is not a CIA operative, or some other type of secret agent trying (albeit mistakenly) to arrange a dead drop, and that it is instead an interested young woman (or man I guess? based on the name/handwriting I'm guessing woman.)
Ordinarily I would wait a few days to call if I'd had to ask for the number. I've never gotten a number without asking aside from a select few occasions and I had the chance to knowingly meet them beforehand.
As I'm typing this, I do recall making eye contact a few times with a pretty young woman about my age. If it was her, I'm definitely interested but originally I was thinking it had to be a staff member from the establishment.
So when should I call? Also, in the US at least, this is pretty out of the norm. Should I just steer clear entirely? | Someone in a restaurant (presumably a woman) gave me a phone number through a waitress. I do not know the person, and never saw them. Should I call it, and if so, when? |
t3_e6d2x | loseit | Hey Losers ;) - do you think you'd be interested in having some medical students around these parts for some help and advice? | I think communities like this are a fantastic tool for motivating people to take it upon themselves to get healthy, and I'd love to help out anyway I can.
Here's my question: Would it be beneficial for you, as individuals looking for weight loss advice, encouragement, tips, etc to have a group of fitness-minded medical students frequent these parts to answer questions or clarify any erroneous facts that we see? We might not have the utmost expertise, but we are knowledgable and have a ridiculous amount of resources at our disposal to find the right answers. I might even be able to convince an attending or two to frequent these pages - that's a long shot though.
I just tend to see a lot of misguided advice and quackery on the internet, and I figure it might help save you a trip to the doctors office to ask a simple medically related question about weightloss. That said, you should still go see a doctor on a regular basis - the internet can't give you a physical, run blood test, or give context (read: non-verbals) to what's going on.
Anyway, it's just an idea. Let me know if you're interested and I'll see about rounding up some like minded classmates and we'll do what we can. I think it'd beneficial, or at least couldn't hurt, and would be a great learning tool us students, too. | I'm a medical student and I'm wondering if you'd like to have a group of us around to answer questions and just generally help you in achieving your goals in a healthy manner. |
t3_1hz85x | relationships | I [17/F] am trying to convince my boyfriend [17/M] not to move from San Francisco to Dubai | My boyfriend and I are both 17 years old, and we have been dating for about four/five months (which is a long time in the high school world) and are now pretty serious.
He is from Syria and only came to the US last June because of the recent conflicts, but his parents as well as the rest of his family stayed in Dubai.
Recently, they have given him the choice of going back to Dubai or staying California. Obviously, I really want him to stay not only because I would miss him if he left but because I also think it is what is best for his future.
He says that his heart wants to stay in CA, but because of academic/economic reasons it would be more logical to go back. For example, he loves playing football and would have to give that up if he left. Also, in Dubai the lifestyle is different - he would most likely go back to smoking cigarettes and living a "party" type of life.
His main concern are his grades - he wants to be a dentist and to go to a good program in college, but we go to a very challenging prep school in Silicon Valley and his grades are not as good as they were back in Syria. I have offered to help him study in all of his classes in addition to helping out with SAT/ACT prep, but I'm not sure if that's enough.
Do you have any advice on how I could convince him to stay? Thank you! :) | Boyfriend is considering moving halfway across the globe for non-relationship issues, I want to convince him to stay. |
t3_3vxq4f | legaladvice | US- Illinois- Left the scene of an accident, am I going to get in trouble? | Last night coming home from work I was involved in an accident. I was cut off by a large SUV that slammed on their brakes. I was able to stop in time without hitting them, they drove off. As soon as I came to a stop, I got rear-ended. This was a dark 4 lane busy road, so I turned off into a parking lot immediately after to check my car. I got out and saw 2 cars that were behind me, still in the road. A car hit a SUV that hit me. I surveyed my car, no damage. The people in the cars were talking to each other, but not making any attempt to come talk to me and I was in no way walking across a 4 lane busy road in the dark, so I left. Now I'm wondering if I should have stayed and exchanged info and I'm worried a cop is going to show up looking for me. | Got rear ended but no damage to my car and I didn't hit anyone, so I left the scene. Am I in trouble? |
t3_148yft | Pets | Help finding dog pants? (Explanation inside) | A little information on what I am looking for in particular. My friend's rescue (a terrier-dachshund mix) has undergone two spinal surgeries this year. They were both because she couldn't move her hind legs. She was able to walk and run and play like the puppy that she is for a full year before her hind legs just went stiff. Apparently before my friend had rescued her, she had been in some sort of accident that damaged her spine (which my friend didn't know about when she rescued her). The first surgery went well and with physical therapy,she was recovering well, walking as best as she could.Then she stopped walking on her hind legs, she just would sit there and do nothing. If she had to move, she would drag her legs. She underwent a second successful surgery and is in recovery. She finished her physical therapy and again is walking the best she can. When she gets tired though, she starts to drag her legs which is causing rashes on her under belly.
I want to get my friend a Christmas gift of underpants that protects her underbelly if she does start to drag her legs. I am looking for something that would allow her to go potty without having to remove the pants. My friend wants to keep encouraging her to build up her strength again in her legs (she wants to hold off on getting a dog wheelchair as long as possible to encourage her to keep walking). If anyone has any suggestions or links, I would be most grateful, and so would my friend.
Also I apologize if this is the wrong thread for this. | Friend's dog had two spinal surgeries. Dog is walking but drags legs when tired. Looking for pants to protect her underbelly from rash. |
t3_2ui39f | relationships | How do I (F/20 something) tell my drug addict cousin (M/30 something) that he is not coming to my wedding? | I'm having a large wedding, almost everyone in my family is invited...except for my cousin, lets call him Bob. Bob has been an on and off drug addict and probably a dealer throughout his life, has a serious problem with self-control and alcohol. He is in his mid thirties and is physically aggressive, casual/part time racist/sexist, in summation, a total train wreck of a person.
My problem is that the rest of his family are totally wonderful and nice and naturally they are all invited, but it is going to be hard to not invite him and have him not find out about it. Clearly I don't want Bob to come, but if we don't invite him, he is quite likely to just turn up, start a fight, who knows? This is the argument my immediate family is making, however I do not want to give in just because it will make other people's consciences rest easy.
My question is how do I go about telling Bob's parents (my aunt/uncle) he is not invited? They are not blind to his ways, so I am hoping they will be understanding, but who knows? Should I just not send him an invite and hope for the best? Should I tell them in advance? Please, any and all advice would be helpful! | I love Breaking Bad, but I don't want Jessie Pinkman and Tuco's lovechild to be at my wedding. Help! |
t3_3amcmi | relationships | Me [16 M] not sure if i should text her today? | Last night i had a few people over, and of course we had girls and alcohol. There was this one girl who was really cute, early in the night she had to much to drink a threw up, after one of her girlfriends helped back to reality, i gave her my clothes. Well for the rest of the night she kind of just sat beside me and snuggled? at the end of the night 5 am she was about to leave, and we made out. This girls to good for me, she added me on snapchat to. Should i text her today or just understand that she probably was drunk and just did something dumb, we spent easily 5 hours of the night together. First time post btw so sorry. | got drunk, spent the evening with a cute girl, she was drunk. got her snapchat, we made out should i text her today? |
t3_4jrho8 | relationships | I (18M) don't ever feel like talking to my best friend (18F) of 3½ years anymore... | We met in our freshman year during an a school project and we have been pretty much best friends ever since. She's been an amazing friend for such a long time, through thick and thin which is why I feel especially bad about all of this.
A few months ago a mutual friend of ours frequently commented that we'd be "the perfect couple" and demanded to know why we haven't gotten together yet. My best friend and I both discussed this a while back and at that time there just wasn't any attraction to each other. However, this mutual friend kept pushing it and pushing it and we both started... liking? each other, for lack of a better term. Our friendship went from a normal one to pretty much dating. Like we'd do normal couple-y things like sending hearts while texting and generally being closer together when we were in each other's presence.
I liked her, and this mutual friend confirmed she in fact had a thing for me. So I did what anyone else would do if they learned that information. I asked her out. And she said yes. It was great, but it didn't feel like anything changed since we were doing the same things we did before we were dating. However, three days later she breaks it off with me because she wasn't ready for a relationship. I wasn't exactly devastated... But sort of indifferent to it. I sort of expected that since I always knew she fickle when it comes to relationships, especially since she hasn't had a proper one before.
I know, I know, I should have stayed away from her if I knew this, but at the time I felt she could change. I suppose I was wrong to think that. Anyways since then I just can't get myself to talk to her. When she texts I kind of ignore it because, well, I really don't know what to say to her. I've also been avoiding her in public. It's really bad I know and I feel really bad but I just can't help myself. She's noticed and asked what was wrong but I just kind of give her excuses. I think I'm digging my own grave here, but I just really can't talk to her. What do I do? :/ | Best friend and I decided we wanted to date, she broke up with me, now I'm not sure if I want to keep talking to her. |
t3_i10lp | AskReddit | English major worrying about future career choices | Hey reddit,
I am having an issue with trying to figure out what to do with my life as far as future careers go. I am currently taking my bachelor of arts degree, majoring in English, and I am about to take my second year of university. I am really stressed out about trying to figure out what I am going to do with this degree, or whether i should even continue on this path. I really enjoy writing, but I don't know if I can really make a sustainable living from it. Of course I get a lot of grief from my friends who constantly rag on my for taking arts, but it is something I really like to do. Is there anyone out there who can give me words of encouragement possibly from their own experience? And which kind of careers should I possibly look in to? | Taking my BA, majoring in English, and I don't know if i can make that into a career. Anyone out there like me, who can share wise words of success? What careers to look in to? |
t3_yq0t0 | relationships | I [23F] am feeling under appreciated and a little taken advantage of by my [28M] boyfriend | For the first time in our relationship (of 4 months), I asked my boyfriend to compromise with me - and it was to just drink a little less and not leave me all by myself at this party we'll be going to tomorrow. His friends have made it very clear that they aren't huge fans of mine and tend to ignore me when we're out at the bars, and he usually gets so drunk that he forgets about me all together and just goes to talk with other people, so I told him about my feelings and asked him if he could just tone it down a bit and maybe check in on me. He answered that he doesn't care how it makes me feel because I'm just trying to change him and stop him from having a good time.
I love him desperately, there is absolutely nothing about him I would like to change, and I will and have done anything to make him happy. We go out with his friends relatively often and I've never asked him to tone down the drinking before - and I've mentioned the fact that I feel left alone, but he hasn't seemed to care about that one - so I thought that if this one time I could ask him to, he would agree. Instead he lashed out at me and was completely rude and told me I've changed.
I am happy to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants - and I've done so since the beginning of our relationship - but when he openly admits that my feelings don't matter compared to his having a good time... it hurts my feelings a lot. He says he loves me and he would do anything to make me happy, but then when I've finally asked for something he got angry and refused. It feels like he forgets that we do everything he wants all of the time, and sometimes I want to be accommodated too.
Help Reddit! Am I totally out of line here? How do I get him to see my side without upsetting him again? How do I make this relationship more equal so that I don't feel like I've been walked all over when he disagrees with what I've asked? | Boyfriend isn't willing to compromise and he says that my asking him to compromise also means that I'm trying to change him. How can I fix this? |
t3_2t9m9e | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of three years. I want this relationship to be over, how do I tell him without breaking his heart? He honestly thinks we're okay. | hey world. I've been dating this guy Brent for 3 years. We met in high school, and we currently attend the same college. I had the sickest crush on him when I first met him, and our relationship was perfect at first, but it's just annoying now.
It seems like everything he does bothers me. He can pick me up from work and I can't even look at him because his face annoys me now.
He always asks if everything is okay. And I constantly tell him that I want to break up with him. But he can't deal with that. He starts crying, and grabbing me and preventing me from leaving.
I always say okay I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, because I hate to see him cry. He genuinely is a wonderful person. Our personalities just aren't right for each other. Every thing he does bothers me.
I decided that I really needed to break it off for good when we were having sex and I was thinking of someone else. I almost called him the wrong name, but quickly redeemed myself.
So reddit, what can I say to him to get him to finally realize it's over? | My boyfriend doesn't realize this relationship is over. Even thought I tell him time and time again that this isn't working out, he refuses to believe me. HELP |
t3_phyv6 | AskReddit | Are you a good driver? I think you are screwed either way. | Some insurance companies are trying to partner up with TomTom to track drivers, and reward the 'good drivers' (
However, what is a good driver?
What if I have a low power car and I have to gun it on the on ramp?
What if I have a low power car so I have to turn at higher speeds so I can merge onto the highway safely?
What if I am on the race track? (assuming if I turn it off, I'll lose my discount)
What if I drive during rush hour on the highway? (bumper-to-bumper traffic at stop & go speeds? In other word,s is it dangerous to go 5km/h in a 100km/h zone). Same can apply at night if there was construction, or a traffic jam.
What if I am cut off, and have to slam on the brakes?
What if I have to floor-it to merge safely?
There is NO way this can track road awareness, which is one of the most important factors in safe driving.
I fucking hate these "politically correct ideas" that doesn't work. | Without knowing the road conditions and your surrounding environment around you, such a system cannot make a sound judgement on your driving habits. |
t3_3k260s | tifu | TIFU by using the alarm on my phone | It only happened this morning. I needed to wake up at 7am to be on time for school, but I didn't have an alarm clock. Out of desperation, I found the alarm settings on my phone and set it to 7am. I set my alarm at 9:25pm. How do I remember the time I set my alarm so vividly? Well, that's all part of the FU!
I woke up to a clear, reddish-blue sky. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Then I realised something, my phone didn't make any noise to wake me up. I opened it up to see what was wrong with it and I found the problem.
On the lock screen, it said 11:16pm whilst on the top of the home screen, the time was 9:25pm, which was the time I set my alarm. Wtf?
I had no other clock in my home, so I checked the time on my microwave. Desperate times (no pun intended) call for desperate measures! The microwave, which showed the actual time, said 7:40. Fick, I slept in by 40 minutes! I quickly got ready for school and headed out the door. Lesson learned: never trust a stupid phone! | relied on my stupid phone to wake me up at 7am, woke up 40 minutes late because my phone thought it was 11:16pm and 9:25pm. |
t3_r9ivt | AskReddit | How and at what age did you lose your virginity? [NSFW] | So I've been off and on with a guy for 6 years and even when we aren't dating its been everything but actually sex. So this guys been pretty chill about not pressuring me to have sex, we had broken up last week and Sunday he came over to chill at my place, it was awkward and I gave him a hug. He picked me up and carried me with my legs around his waist, we kissed and ended up having sex on my bed it was like years worth of pent up tension and it lasted maybe 30 minutes. I'm 18 and we just redressed in sperate rooms, he hugged me and said it didn't change our status, I told him I didn't want our status to change and said he should leave. | ex, 18, he had waited since the 8th grade to get in my pants, kicked him out when done. Wham bam, thank you ma'am. No regrets. |
t3_21a91l | relationships | A stranger said my boyfriend was too ugly for me while we were out together. How can I make him feel better? [23F, 32M] | My boyfriend and I planned a romantic weekend in the city. We got a nice hotel room and decided to go out to eat at a nice restaurant. I got all done up and we had an awesome time.
Once we finished dinner, we went back to our hotel room. When we were getting off the elevator on our floor, two guys in swim suits (presumably going to the pool) were waiting. We got off and walked over to the door of our room, which was right next to the elevator.
As the guys got on, they started making really rude comments. They said "That chick is with the wrong dude. She has nice tits *and* a nice ass, and look at him! He's fat and ugly. He must have money".
As they were getting on the elevator, I turned around and snapped "Shut the f**k up". I think they heard me, and my boyfriend smiled but I think he felt bad about it. He was very quiet while we were watching TV and wasn't very affectionate or cuddly. He sat as far away as he could! It was awkward. He brought it up once last night after being really quiet all evening, making a joke that he wasn't offended because they thought he was rich and had a sexy girlfriend.
Then today, he brought it up again. He took me out to eat at a fancy restaurant and when he saw the bill he winked and called me a gold digger. I laughed and offered to pay but he declined and said "This is the only reason people think you're with me anyway!".
I just feel really bad about this. I'm pissed off at those guys for insulting me and making my boyfriend feel bad. I'm angry that he got his feelings hurt on our fun night out together. I've been kissing him and complimenting him all weekend but I know he's self-concious about his weight and I don't want it to bother him.
Is there anything I can do to make this better? | Somebody said my boyfriend was too ugly for me while we were out on a date. He joked about it later but it was clearly on his mind for the rest of the night. I want him to feel better. |
t3_1loo5o | tifu | TIFU- because I'm a geek | So my friend had set me up with one of her friend who thought I was cute, which is odd because well... im not, and i was texting her quite alot. She knew i was a pretty big nerd and asked me what my favorite superhero was; it was a question that made me so happy to hear. Finally a girl who appreciates comics. We talk for a few about superheroes and then i pop the question "marvel or DC?"
And she replies DC. At this point in ecstatic because i love DC, so we talk for a while and then i fall asleep. So now i am talking to this hot girl (yeah compared to me, she was wayyyy out of my league) and she takes interest in superheroes, perfect, dream come true. The next day i am talking to that same friend and she brings up that she never had a clue what marvel or DC even were. Me and my nerdy rage go and immediately call it off with this hot girl so lying about such a trivial thing. | Hot girl lies about liking superheroes to impress nerdy, lame me. I find out and call it off in a brace-faced fury. |
t3_40lnch | relationship_advice | My ex is dating a separated man. | My ex is gorgeous.
Looks east european but is latina (just like me).
She has a childish attitude and.
I loved her because we shared same background and she loved my jokes.
I messed up in the relationship badlly and she dumped me.
After a few months we were fixing things to get back together. On xmas holydays i had to go back home. She stayed in california by her own for a month. We talked on the phone each day. She told me she liked me, wanted things to work, etc.
Then one day she got mad at me because it took me long to reply her messages, so she blocked my phone number. I told her, ok if you want it over its over. She told me... Ok!!! but still we were talking and really it was not over.
3 days after that message she sleeps with a guy she met 2 days before. The guy is separated from his wife. Still she didnt care the guy is still married and had sex with him.
She called me the next day telling me what happened with that guy and asking me to forgive her. I told her she is a whore and that everybody will know what kind of whore she is.
She told me never to contact her again.
Now she is dating this separated (not yet divorced guy). He looks handsome (i found him on fb) good job and all. He was married for a year and a half then separated.
Tell me something so I feel better about all this mess.
Friends tell me I dodged a bullet with this girl.
Like, what kind of girl puts herself into this kind of situation?
Forgot to mention... She had a crazy attitude when i met her. Then she went ro therapy and improved a lot. I screwed because i was imparient about her behavior and we fought a lot. But she was really getting better, so maybe the new guy wont face same issues. Anyhow I messed up too because i went second base with a girl during one of our small breaks. So maybe that is why she revanged sleeping with this guy (eventhough i begged and cried for forgiveness for doing that)
; | my ex is dating a separated man that she met when we were fixing things to get back together. Tell me something that helps me raise my ego. The feeling of being changed is ugly. |
t3_3brie0 | relationships | Me [19 M] has a crush on my ex-gf's [19 F] somewhat close friend, can/should I pursue? | Me and my now ex-girlfriend broke up about 3 months ago after almost a 2 year relationship, on somewhat mutual terms. I know she still likes me but I think she respects that I do not want to be with her anymore.
When we were together I met one of her friends while visiting her school and we just got along instantly. At the time I didn't think anything of it obviously cause I was with my girlfriend, I just really enjoyed her personality and friendship. Both of them are back home, the other girl living about 30-45 minutes away.
I've always wanted to ask her to hang out but I'm not sure if I should. Can yall help me out? | Crush on ex-gf's somewhat close friend, I want to hang out with the friend to get to know her. |
t3_3hx3bu | tifu | TIFU by flipping off a biker | No, i didn't get beat up by some bearded leather clad barbarian. It was much tamer, but i still cringe at myself every time it jumps into mind.
Back couple years ago, when i was about two glorious months into my driving career, i took off from my uncle's towards home. It was evening but not completely dark yet. Soon, there appeared a bit of a jam at a crossroads and i naturally got nervous. I was slowly crawling up the traffic behind some dude on a sporty bike when he suddenly started turning back and gesticulating at me. I couldn't see his face under the helmet, nor i could hear whether he was trying to tell me something, but he was getting annoying. After some time i got to think he was challenging me, or maybe mocking my oldtimer car, or something along these lines.
Sure thing i was in no mood for shenanigans, as if it wasn't hard enough for a new driver to keep up with heavy traffic in an ancient clunker with a manual transmission with a steering wheel so heavy and unwieldy it should be featuring handles, like those on boats. I got enraged and flipped him off with an angry grimace. Next moment, green kicks in and the biker takes off, visibly shaking his head. It was not before i entered an unlit street near my home that i realized my headlights weren't on and the dude just was trying to point me to it. | Misunderstood intentions of a good samaritan on the road, flipped him off, still feeling like shit about it. |
t3_3on8ob | relationships | Me [22F] with my boss [50sM] of almost one year... don't know how to confront him about going part-time when I go to grad school | Currently, I am an assistant to one of the VP's at my company. It is a full time job and my boss does rely on me for quite a lot. I am also awaiting acceptances from two separate grad schools. Which, if accepted (I will know in 3-4 weeks), I will begin in January and the schools are both just 15 minutes away from my job.
I made the decision to be honest with my boss about going to grad school from the beginning and he has been extremely supportive - he is probably one of my biggest supporters even when it comes to my personal life about this. And I've truly appreciated it.
But I am not sure if he expects me to remain full time or to leave the job. Personally, I would not be able to handle either of these situations. I would definitely like to stay at my job and do part time. Two other co-workers do part-time for personal and legitimate reasons. Yet I don't know my boss' opinion on this. Especially because he hasn't asked one question i.e. me going to school full-time or what my internship hours will look like.
So, really, what I'm asking is: if/when I'm accepted, how do I ask him to go part time at a 9-5 job? Do I offer taking less money? Do you think he'd let me go?
P.S. When I eventually do my internship, I will need to leave my job. It is 100 hours/semester and then two semesters of 300 hours. It would just be impossible to do my specific job on top of interning and that will come up in about a year or so. | need to go part-time (32 hours/week or a little less) at my 9-5 office job when I go to grad school. how do I confront boss? |
t3_wevwy | relationships | Should i leave with my growing fetus that my boyfriend doesn't know about? | 24 F
Hey Reddit!
First post ever so bare with me! I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. He is 22 and i am 24. I have finished school and have been well on my career for the past year, as he is still working his way through school. Unfortunately after the first year my boyfriend and I were together i ended up getting pregnant. We opted to not have the baby and move on as we were both not ready to have kids. A year and a half later i find out i am prego again. I am pretty excited, but i know after the last time with everything that happened my boyfriend will not be happy. He wanted no part of the baby AT ALL when this happened previously and was seriously frightened. As i was emotional and crazy i didn't really understand; for i had this human inside swooshing around! (We had a special bond even in the early weeks, something i think only a mother would understand)
Not only that but... we have been on the rocks recently. On and off for the past 6 months (not sleeping with anyone else... just breaking it off and getting back together)
I know this sounds horrible but after the last time with lack of support i feel like i should take the baby and make a life for us on our own. He didnt want have anything to do with it last time and i highly doubt anything has changed. So now to the question... should i save him the pain and just break it off officially and make a life for the baby and I? OR should i try and involve him and thoroughly expect him to be a fail father that he already admitted he would be. | Just found out i was pregnant about 30 minutes ago FOR THE SECOND TIME ON BIRTH CONTROL and need to know if i should involve my SO. |
t3_gfn08 | AskReddit | What is your opinion on bags on seats on the bus? | I ask this because I was a university student for many years. I had a backpack full of books that weighed roughly 40lbs total.
Given this, and many other situations where I had a bag, I would usually immediately sit with my bag in a seperate seat instead of on my legs, and when seats were starting to get filled up around me I'd put the bag on my legs when people came to allow for them to have a seat.
The problem I've been coming to though, is that I was always forcing myself to be aware of my environment and aware of every time someone was approaching who could be wanting that seat. And every time I would take my bag off the chair while trying to start eye contact/unspoken agreement for that person to sit there. The bag was heavy, it is very uncomfortable on my legs.
Here's what I noticed. When you take your bag off pre-emptively for them 95% of people will just keep moving on, avoid eye contact, or just stand there, not wanting to initiate in the social interaction of accepting your offer to sit beside them unless it is a vocal invitation(and even then only 50% of people will actually react/accept).
This, in addition to the fact that unfortunately busses are designed for people of my height(meaning I'm usually sitting in the aisle seat with my legs sticking out at an angle in order) meant I was constantly propping my bag up onto my legs, and back into the seat, over and over, usually until the point where it was the only seat left and one of the 5-10 people standing were tired and decided to accept the invitation.
I've come to the conclusion that I should stop putting so much strain on myself to be polite when society won't bloody accept it. Nowadays I just keep my bag on a seat until somebody asks me if they can sit there or makes any sort of indication that they want to sit there. At which point I will gladly move the bag so they may.
I remember recently this was one of the most upvoted comments on a "what subtle things do people do that piss you off?" thread recently created on Reddit.
So tell me, what's your opinion? | Are bags on seats the responsibility of the bag owner to move it onto legs in advance to allow people to sit, or of the sitter to ask for the bag to be moved? |
t3_cm2go | AskReddit | Reddit, I have a question about SAP opportunities, can someone please help? | First off, I tried to find a relevant subreddit but nothing jumped out at me so here I'm in *Ask*.
I just passed my SAP Financials certification (2 days ago), I am also expecting to receive my B.B.A in Finance within a couple of months. Now, I have very little knowledge about how to go about finding the first job, I am particularly interested in SAP internships. I do not know anyone who has tried to find SAP opportunities without having any prior work experience. Seems like most places have so much work backed up that they are really looking for people who are experienced and can jump right in. Any ideas/experiences will be extremely appreciated. | Just got certified in SAP Financials. Have no prior work experience in the field, looking for ideas/experiences about starting off. |
t3_26dmpu | relationships | Pretty much everything in my [25/m] relationship with my [25/f] girlfriend is great except for the sex. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. We were friends for a while before that and other than a short break a year and a half ago, things have been great. We've been living together for nearly a year. We have similar tastes in books, music, movies, and television. We can have intelligent, thoughtful discussions. We've grown quite comfortable with each other. We can be totally ourselves and we generally really enjoy spending time together.
Despite these things and despite realizing that I'm with a wonderful, genuinely good person who really cares about me, I'm very dissatisfied with our sex. Our sex drives and the frequency we want sex does align nicely, but we are simply not sexually compatible.
Our sex is boring and tedious. She pretty much only enjoys being on top, riding me in a slow grind that doesn't stimulate me in the least. Sadly, I enjoy masturbating more than I enjoy having sex with her. She enjoys slow, intimate sex and is the least sexually adventurous person I've been with. She sees sex as an intimate act, something done out of love, more than an act for pleasure as I do. She's not comfortable with porn or anything that could be considered "degrading."
As much as I like the thought of it, I don't think either of us would be comfortable with an open relationship. It's unfortunate because this is someone who I could see myself with indefinitely on an intellectual and emotional level, but I rarely desire her.
I'm not sure if anyone has any suggestions. I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for in terms of advice. I'd obviously prefer not to end things. Has anyone been in similar situations themselves? Is it silly to throw something so good away for this reason? | My girlfriend of 4 years is absolutely wonderful, but our sex is quite bland and boring. Any advice is greatly appreciated. |
t3_4439ir | tifu | TIFU By taking out my contacts and making Mac and cheese | Literally just happened, so I took out my contacts before eating my Mac and cheese cause they were bothering me. I then went and got the Mac and cheese I had just made off the stove, after taking a bite I realized it needed some salt. I open the cupboard and grab the blue cylinder container of salt put a bunch on the Mac and cheese and then took a nice big spoon full and started to eat. As soon as it touched my mouth though I realized that the salt was actually sugar and that I just wasted a bunch of Mac and cheese. | put sugar instead of salt on my Mac and cheese because the containers are the same color and shape and I couldn't read the labels cause I took out my contacts. |
t3_47916h | relationships | How do I [14F] tell my mom [49F] that I'm uncomfortable with my stepdad [60M] leaving his thongs in the laundry room? | My mom and dad divorced in around 2009, and she met my stepdad (Jack) in 2010. I was the maid of honor at their wedding in 2013. He's a wonderful man and very sweet, and I don't mind living with him at all. He's a great guy, and my brother and I love him.
However, as you may be able to tell from the title, there is one problem. Jack is kind of a slob, and leaves his laundry in the dryer for a while before my mother badgers him to take it out eventually, or before someone takes it out to put their own laundry in the dryer.
I took his clothes out of the dryer to put mine in one day, and on the top of his load were two silk "Man Thongs", according to the label. It wouldn't have been as much of a problem if it hadn't happened again. And again. And again.
Now, I know my stepdad has sex with my mom. I can respect two adult's private sex lives, and that's none of my business. But seeing it in the communal laundry room makes me very uncomfortable, due to me being 14 goddamn years old and all.
So, /r/Relationships, how do I bring this up to my mom? Is it too much of me to ask that my stepdad not wash his "sexy" thongs in the laundry when we're at my mom's house? | My stepdad washes his thongs in the family's communal laundry room and it makes me uncomfortable. How do I get him to stop? |
t3_15xuqi | college | On taking "frivolous" classes: my school offers Navajo | Hi r/college,
I'm currently an undeclared freshman thinking of an interdisciplinary major involving psychology and linguistics, (I don't want to *work* for a living or anything) and intending to transfer as soon as possible.
I am also a linguaphile--constantly studying different alphabets, extinct languages and types of grammars, merely for fun.
Recently, I discovered that my university offers several courses in Navajo, *and it is fucking awesome*. I want to jump on this immediately. However, I don't plan to pursue Navajo itself any longer than the semester course, and I'm worried that taking any courses which seem pointless or excessive might ~~reveal that I am~~ make me appear fickle to the admissions advisors.
My first semester (and to an extent, this one) was filled with courses that 1. seemed interesting and 2. fulfilled a core requirement; I don't know if I can afford to do that again. Does this sound like a generally bad idea to you, anonymous redditeurs? My heart says yes, but my mind says. I would appreciate additional opinions. | will my transcript indicate to these lovely colleges that I have no academic perseverance whatsoever, or should I enjoy the few carefree semesters I have left? |
t3_3hc0q9 | relationships | Me (21M) and my girlfriend (29F) love each other but have vastly different world views | Using a throwaway just in case.
A little background on both of us. I am, as mentioned in the title, 21 and come from North America. I was raised Catholic but later left the church. My relationship with my family is only kind of good. I guess the only family member I really get along with is my father.
A few years ago, I met over the internet a beautiful girl from South America. We started chatting a lot, and eventually wanted to meet in person. Fast forward to now, I have been living in her country for 6 months and we have been in a relationship for 9 months.
She is amazing and we really do enjoy being with each other. Most things about our relationship are pretty normal I guess. But there is a small problem that I feel could turn into a big one. She, like myself, was also raised Catholic. Unlike myself, she is still a very devout Catholic to this day. Now, this is not the problem in itself. I respect her right to believe whatever she wants. The problem is that her beliefs make her suffer. She suffers a lot because she thinks that I am damned to hell, and that God wants her to save me. I know she has good intentions, and I know she loves me, but she has said before that she doesn't know how she will deal with the "darkness" inside of me.
In addition to believing that I am damned, she also wants kids. I do not want kids AT ALL and one of us will ultimately have to bend to the wishes of the other. I love this girl more than I've loved anyone before. I don't know what to do. | My girlfriend is Catholic, believes that God is asking her to save me, and I can't watch her suffer because she thinks she is failing to do what God wants. Also she wants kids and I don't. |
t3_363xs4 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [21 M/F] of 1 1/2 years just broke up, she was the perfect girl. It's all my fault pls help | This had happened last night so everything is still pretty fresh for me. I met her during 3rd college and continued to be together after graduation. We're currently in a LDR (2 mos. in right now) right now that would last 7 mos. In this relationship, I was the worryer and I always feel like when I call her, I was only distubing her. Lately, we've been having fights here and there about establishing a strong line of communication. Last night, She was drinking with some friends and being the worryer that I am, tried to call her several times to get her attention. When I got to reach her after calling 15 times, she flipped and said I was strangling her. In my frustration I uttered the words "Then let's break up"hoping that she would be against it. She wasn't and so we broke up. After the breakup I also checked her fb account and saw her talking to a guy friend wanting him to video call her. Is she cheating?
She's a very nice girl with a strong personality and my family got attached to her pretty quickly. This is also a reason why breaking up with her is so hard. Please help me get back the spark we had when she was here with me. How can I approach her? Should I give her space? Is she cheating? | Met the perfect girl, broke up because I was too clingly and now I want to get back with her and change |
t3_24xyz7 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 6 months, admissions of previous infidelity making me uncomfortable | Been dating for around 6 months, both adamant that this is the deepest we've ever felt for an SO. We are both equally experienced, had a few long-term relationships and a few short-term flings each. We are currently long distance, but moving to the same city in about a fortnight.
For the first few months of our relationship we only talked about infidelity in passing, and I was under the impression that (like me) she'd been faithful to her previous partners. About a month ago though she admitted to me one night that while traveling away from her previous boyfriend of 3 years, she'd fallen for another guy. She spent a week traveling with this new guy while lying to her ex about it, and eventually slept with him. She felt bad afterwards, but never admitted her guilt, and continued the relationship when she got home as if nothing had happened, despite still thinking about the other guy from time to time.
This was all about 2 years ago. Now I love her deeply, and want this to work out, but I think my trust for her has diminished slightly since learning about her past. She recently went on holiday for 3 weeks by herself, and only told me when she'd got back that she'd spent 5 days or so traveling around with a guy she'd met. She promised me that nothing at all had happened and that since he was traveling solo as well, they'd both just been glad of the company. I believe her, but that doesn't mean that the whole situation doesn't make me uncomfortable.
She's a very beautiful, passionate and impressive person, and she will always get a lot of attention from men. She told me jokingly that two guys (including the one she traveled with) 'fell in love' with her on her latest trip. I just can't tell whether I am right to be feeling uncomfortable, or whether she has changed, wouldn't cheat on me, and is being honest with me. Any insight into this would be of great help, though I know it's very difficult without knowing all the parties involved. | gf admitted to me that she cheated on her ex while traveling, and I now trust her less. Am I right to do so, or should every relationship be assessed in isolation? |
t3_3hal6c | relationships | Me 20F with my 20M of 2 years + my friends having trouble because I have issues with trusting people. | my SO and I have become rocky since he had to move back to school (45 mins away I know very short) we Skype and text all the time when he's not at football but I can't trust him. I want too, I try so hard but then these horrible thoughts come into my head. This isn't just for him either, this has happened before not only with past relationships but with my family because a lot of them cheated too, I got in trouble for calling them cheaters for what they did. He's such a good guy but the thought of what can happen scares the shit out of me and I don't want to trust him for the fear of what could happen in a year or 5 years. I wanted to break it off with him because I knew that it was effecting him too but he said we can work it out and that he'd never do anything. He gave me all his passwords - everything. I don't even trust my friends I can't tell them anything because I'm afraid they would tell someone or make fun of me. I can't tell my family anything either because I know they will tell everyone and make fun of me for the rest of my life. Does anyone have advice as to how to get over this? I feel horrible and I want to trust him and my friends (not my family they won't change) but little things scare me and make me build a wall again. Please someone tell me how I can get these horrible memories out of my head. | I have serious problems with trusting anyone especially my boyfriend because of family members previously cheating. How do I get over this and quit pushing him away. |
t3_3wc9wf | self | I don't know what to do... [Probably not a good idea to read if you're already sad] | I had a really shit day. I work at a walmart so maybe that's not a huge surprise, but today seemed worse than usual. Didn't sleep last night so I got dressed and went to work determined to have a good day. First thing that happens is I get bitched out by a customer for not having the extremely specific thing that they could only find on one online shopping site. Then I get bitched at by my manager for a bunch of things that didn't get done by the time he wanted them done even though I haven't worked the past couple of days. While all this is going on I'm getting more and more worried about my girlfriend because she hasn't texted me or had any form of contact with me in the last 36 hours which is highly unusual for us. Normally we at least say good morning or let each other know when we're going to be really busy for a while. Then my department manager dumps all his work on me and goes to lunch. My register login wouldn't work so I couldn't cash out customers which pissed 90% of them off. With all the bills I have and the scarcity of my hours I can barely afford food so I didn't eat anything for lunch. Called my girlfriend a few times, no answer. Come back to work and naturally the first thing my assistant manager does is bitch me out because he's had complaints about the department. I'm just so sad. I'm frustrated and worried and tired because I haven't slept for two days. I don't even know where to start anymore. I'm overwhelmed with this cloying depression and I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to go to sleep and maybe never wake up again. | Probably just sounds like first world problems but I feel like my life is spiraling into a black hole of sadness and disappointment. |
t3_zcou1 | loseit | NSV: This shirt used to be tight! I think that I'm almost there. F/18/4'11.5 | I've lost 30 lbs! I've gone from from 130 (overweight) to 100 lbs since March. I went from a tight small to a loose extra small, pants size 5 to 0. I cut out junk food except on some special occasions, cut out any soda other than water and some 0 calorie drinks (vitaminwater 0, propel zero). I started eating the recommended 5 servings of fruits and vegetables. I never eat above 1300 calories. I'm actually having trouble eating enough now. I'm full all the time! I eat few carbs and a lot of protein. When I get less than 50 grams of protein a day I drink some whey protein powder. 90 calories and gets me 20 grams of protein. I started out slowly with exercise, maybe 15 minutes running, 15 walking, but over the summer I got obsessed. It is so fun! I was swimming for an hour, biking for 1 1/2 hours, and walking for an hour every day. I do not recommend that. I was tired, but I just enjoyed feeling my body move. I joined a gym, because I wan't getting enough strength exercises, and I'm up to doing 150 lat pulldowns at 37.5 pounds (50 at a time). I'm not super skinny, but I'm pretty happy how I look. I used to have an eating disorder, so I don't want to go overboard. The obsession with food is still there, but I'm focusing it on being healthy, not under nourishing my body. I'll never be a skinny as I was then (it was definitely not healthy at 82 lbs) but I like feeling good about myself. I'm definitely getting more male attention too! I went from a BMI of 25.81 to 19.86. I'm thinking of going a little lower and gaining a little more muscle to see more definition in my stomach and arms, but we'll see. The point is that I'm almost done. | Lost 30 lbs through diet and exrecise, shirts and pant are too big, pretty happy about how I look. |
t3_38kxjy | relationships | I'm [21 M] struggling with my boyfriend [20 M] of two years's VERY limited diet. | My boyfriend has only eaten chicken nuggets and chips for as long as he can remember. He's reached an age where it's unlikely he'll just 'grow out of it'. He struggles with the practical side of it, not being able to eat out with friends or with me, however he isn't making any attempts to change. He acknowledges the difficulty it causes to both him and myself, but in the two years we've been together he's tried one or two simple meals (pasta/plain rice), and ate about a spoonful. I'm quite a foodie, so it's scary to think that I could be preparing chicken nuggets and chips long-term.
He's going to University in a few months and I'm hopeful of him making progress when forced to live outside of his home, however the fact we can't really travel places that don't have McDonalds or similar places is really putting a downer on our summer plans.
It has no visible impact on his health, so I'm unsure if I can make any approaches based off that. I've brought up potential solutions often, but he's not attempted any of them. I don't want to push anything as I worry I'll appear selfish and insensitive to his situation. Am I actually being insensitive expecting him to change something unchangeable? | My boyfriend only eats chicken nuggets and chips and I'm unsure If I can see a future with someone unable to enjoy food. |
t3_1dghae | relationships | Help with High School Dating Problem? | I have recently started hanging out with a girl that goes to a high school 45 minutes-1 hour drive away from me. My best friend has also started seeing her friend because I brought him along and he met her friend. Everything is good, and the girl and I are not really exclusive but pretty much hanging out every weekend.
Coming up in about a month is my senior prom. The girl is a junior. I want to go to my Senior Prom, but I mostly would be going to have fun with my friends, see my teachers one last time, and drink/party with all my good friends and I do not want to really deal with organizing everything and driving 2 hours round trip to bring the girl to my school and back late at night. I might be set up with one of my friends date's friend(who my friend is going with just as friends for the same reason as I) just so I can go to the dance and the friend the same. I think this is a perfectly fine situation.
The main problem arising is that my friend is about 95% sure he is going to ask the friend to our prom and that kind of puts me in the situation to ask my girl. I don't know how I should tell the girl that I am just going to go with a girl that is just a friend so it is local and I do not have to drive but keep it so we are still on good terms.
Sorry for the wall of text, | Want to go to Senior Prom with girl just as friends for fun and to avoid all the work that goes into a real date but want to put it on good terms with a girl I have been seeing. |
t3_51gzny | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 8 years. We're looking to share some more hobbies & I wanted advice for fun games we could play. | Hello redditors!
I just posted this over a /r/gaming, but though I might find some good advice here, too.
As the title says, I am looking for some games to play with my girlfriend (and possibly my other friends, too). We are working on spending more time together and trying to participate in each other's interests a bit more.
I primarily play League of Legends, but I really enjoy adventuring/story driven games, as well as puzzle and arena games: Borderlands 2, Overwatch, Neverwinter (the MMO), Rocket League, Smite, Portal. I also really enjoy table-top games. I used to be really into MtG & I still love playing D&D and Scion. Also, board games are awesome...just started playing Descent, and that game is pretty cool.
My girlfriend enjoys party games like CAH, Werewolf, Telestrations, etc. but is a bit shy and doesn't enjoy the idea of role-playing. She also doesn't want to get in to League, which is fine, but she enjoys fighter type video games. Specifically, she loves Mortal Combat...I however really don't enjoy the traditional fighter games (though Super Smash Bros. is pretty lit).
Anyways, I was just curious if people on /r/relationships had come up with any cool games (console, pc, or tabletop) that were great for playing with your significant other (or even just with a close friend). I thought about an MMORPG, as they would provide the adventure type stuff that I enjoy & the fighting that she enjoys...but I honestly have not found an MMO I really enjoy. Neverwinter and WoW were cool for a while, but I got bored quickly (it also doesn't help that I mainly played by myself...maybe having a partner would fix that). | Girlfriend likes fighters, I like arena or adventure based games...any suggestions for games we could play? (video or tabletop) |
t3_3iq6rg | relationships | I [21M] feel like things will never be "OK" with my gf [21F] of 9 months. | To begin with, I am not a very emotionally wired person. I mostly experience emotions like a slow moving tide, while my gf is pretty much the opposite. She feels emotions like an avalanche and sometimes it seems like when she becomes overwhelmed with whatever she is experiencing. Well, she often deals with a lot of anxiety which seems to be compounded with our ldr and my poor emotional awareness.
She is *constantly* worried about the future and often mentions how she is worried about losing me and how she thinks I deserve better.
While I completely understand that she struggles with self-esteem, and she has made improvements in that regard, there are a number of small and relatively insignificant things that cause a high amount of stress in our relationship. Things like not being able to sleep unless we are on the phone, having a poor connection on a call, or being too tired to talk.
She tends to become overwhelmed, then frustrated with herself for what she thinks is her being a burden. Each time I make it clear that she isn't a burden and she should not feel bad for having emotions, however it does not seem to make it happen any less.
I feel like the majority of our relationship is becoming reassurances and a constant mitigation of anxiety. It makes me helpless and distant because it seems like there's nothing I can do. I don't know if she will completely relaxed in our relationship or with me.
I've discussed going to talk with someone at her campus about her anxiety but she feels its her responsibility to deal with it. This has been going on for about 6 months and has only increased in frequency. I do not know where to go from here. | Difficulty coping with stress, ldr, and gfs anxiety over last 6 months. Don't know how to convince her she's not a burden and doesn't need to worry. |
t3_1q9mvi | relationships | Me (25m) and my long time friend (25f) are involved now. Cold sores have kept me away from a lot of intimate relationships and I'm just worried. | So I've known this girl since we were kids. Same circle of friends we have had our whole life, me and her hooked up a couple of months ago and have been having a substantial amount of sex since. I think I might really like her but I won't let her kiss me and its because I get cold sores..
I told her the reason early on (I don't date seriously because of it, really hard to even talk about) and I have been so careful not to let her kiss me. This has been going on for two months now and its been two months of little sleep and stress for me, which are warning signs i could potentially get a cold sore. no outward signs though. It's been out of love and respect to her that I have been way over-cautious. It would bang me up if I were to let something happen to her.
Well last night, WASTED, she decided she had enough and just started kissing the hell out of me and I kept telling her to stop.. She was a little bitty but today I think I either got bit or I think I might be actually getting a fucking cold sore. If it is a cold sore I feel like the most terrible wretched human ever.
They are the main reason I have never seriously dated, it is really hard (having gotten it from my parents as a kid) and if something happens to her I'll feel so so so bad. I didn't even know cold sores were a contagious thing until I was almost an adult. Had to explain to my parents what it was and what they had done to their kids. It was the source of some animosity for a long time but I've grown to deal with it. I've just isolated myself from intimate relationships for my entire life (never been a problem getting interest from women, I just never let it get serious)
Having to live with the fear of hurting people that you care about enough to kiss is a really oppressive feeling. The idea of it is crushing me.
So this is me, on a throw away, not really sure about anything and pouring it out to the Internet... I dunno. | I get cold sores, inherited them from my parents. Involved with long time friend who I told, she kissed me last night and I'm worried. |
t3_3y8376 | tifu | TIFU by being sick on Christmas Eve | Last night saying I was feeling under the weather would be an understatement. I wasn't coughing or sneezing, but I was suffering from a severe migraine and was feeling really dizzy. My friends and I were supposed to go to this big party but I wasn't feeling up to it. They came over anyway and bullied me into going so I said fuck it and went.
It's about 11PM and I'm barley able to stand half asleep on the love seat in this dudes living room in the middle of the party. I start puking and get my friends to drive me home. Since they were trashed I was the only one who could drive, even in my current condition.
*This is where the shit hits the fan*
The cops had a road block down the street from the party. The cop asked me to roll down the window and he saw how drunk my friends were and asked for our IDs. Since my speech was kind of slurred they asked me to get out of the car. *my head was fucking pounding at this point and I was close to passing out* They made me take a field sobriety test by walking the line on the side of the road. After about 3 steps I nearly fell over. They gave me a breathalyzer test and when they told me to blow I barfed right into it. I knew I was fucked. They let my friends stay there and wait for someone to pick them up and take their car home. As for me, I was going *downtown* .
I was thrown in the drunk bin with a bunch of fat dudes and a crying girl and I passed the fuck out. They took my blood an hour later and explained I was just sick. I got brought to the hospital and they gave me antibiotics and a giant fucking bill. | got sick on Christmas Eve, got arrested for DUI, ER fucked me like a BBW after a rodeo. |
t3_n5iyy | AskReddit | Reddit, I can't cry anymore. What can I do? | I think there's something wrong with me. I haven't cried properly in a long time. I've had a lot to deal with a lot this year and looking back, I just feel like I haven't been anywhere near as emotional about these things that I should have.
I've been getting angry a lot as well. My relationship with girlfriend has been put under considerable strain because of this. When we fight I can't control my anger and I shout and say things that I neither mean, nor would ever want to say.
I can't help but feel like my lack of tears has something to do with this.I feel like inside of getting upset, my default emotion to turn to is anger and I need it to stop. Can anyone help me? | My eyeballs have lost all moisture and its pissing me off. (If you don't want to read what I've said then your comment can't really help me.) |
t3_dh784 | AskReddit | I used to be able to drink a lot and never get hangovers or blackout...all of a sudden, that's changed. Why? | So I used to be able to hold my liquor pretty well. All throughout 4 years of college, I'd had maybe two hangovers. I blacked out maybe a few times. I was able to drink a lot and not suffer from it and so I prided myself over this.
Recently, however, all that appears to have changed. As recently as 6 months ago, I was able to keep this up. But now it seems as if my body's reaction to alcohol has drastically and suddenly changed on me. It's not even so much that I'm getting hangovers the morning after drinking, but rather I get to feeling hangover-y later during that same night of drinking.
And the blacking out is pretty alarming. I'm not even drinking that much but it seems like I blackout at least a little bit most of the nights I drink. A couple times it has been pretty creepy the next day and even if I remember stuff, most memories from that night of drinking fade pretty rapidly over the course of the next couple of days. | I used to be able to drink heavily without consequence but suddenly I find myself unable to function after only a few drinks. |
t3_1acyhu | loseit | Help Talk Me Through This Panic Attack, Please? | Okay, I've been losing it since October 1, 2012. Started out ultra fat, 347 lbs on a 5'2" female, 45 years old. I had an injured knee, and was using a walker, so I put myself as sedentary on MFP. Lost weight, rehabbed the knee, and started working out. I love working out, and I'm really doing a lot now, at least a lot for me. I spend between 45 minutes to an hour a day on strength training, and a similar amount on cardio six days a week. I'm tracking calories burned with a Polar FT4 heart rate monitor, and weekly averages are between 300 and 600 minutes of activity per week (depending on if I go on a super long hike on the weekend or not), and about 2000 calories burned per week from exercise. I have been getting ridiculously hungry sometimes. Prior to this, I'd been timing meals and workouts so I could have some protein and complex carbs after each workout and it was working fine. No legit hunger, sometimes just cravings. Last few days though, I have been wanting FOOD! I get to the end of the day, and I'm hungry, even after eating. I've not been craving chocolate or junk, just protein mostly. Last night I was daydreaming about eating deli turkey. So, this morning I switched my goals on MFP from "sedentary" to "lightly active" and it's freaking me out. I was at 1310 calories, and that change put it up to 1450 calories. I know in my head that I really am active, and this change has gone on over at least the past three months, so I'm not sabotaging myself, but I'm still really freaked out. I think I'm going to stop losing weight and gain it all back and be a fat lazy freak again! Somebody please help me with some perspective here. K? | Dieted, worked out, lost weight, got hungry, changed activity level to lightly active, got more calories, but am freaking out because I'm afraid I'll undo all my hard work. Somebody talk some sense into me please. |
t3_4hq70l | relationships | I [21F] think my boyfriend [21M] has been physically abused in the past. If I try to show him any type of affection he winces like he is about to feel pain | Hi Reddit, So as the title states that is pretty much the issue. I have dated this guy for about 2 months now and he is super nice, he is really quiet. I can honestly say he has the biggest heart I have seen on a person
I have my suspicions someone may have been physically hurting him in the past. 3 days ago he had a leaf in his hair, I told him about it and I went to get it out. He flinched like I was about to hit him or something.
He gets super uncomfortable if you touch his shoulders, like he legitimately looks scared. If we are making out and I put my hand on his face, he will flinch for a second, if you make a sudden move moment near his face it looks like he is bracing himself to be hit .
How do I ask him about this without insulting him or digging up old wounds. Or should I just leave it alone? | I think my boyfriend may have been physically abused in the past. How do I talk to him about it? or should I just leave it be? |
t3_npn5b | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most dickish thing a sibling has ever done to you? I'll start... | My brother is an asshole.
When I was 20 years old, he and I were forced to move in together for an entire year. He was 27. In the course of a year, he had made every attempt to make my life miserable. He would leave towers of empty soda cans in his room, eventually causing an ant problem. He'd never clean a dish to save his life, and, every time I went to start a load of laundry (I'd specifically tell him I was going to do laundry on Wednesdays and Saturdays) he'd jump up and start an hour-long argument about how it was HIS turn, and then he'd NEVER do it. Sometimes the fights would get physical (I'm a girl, for context) and he'd punch me square in the stomach, knocking the breath from me.
This is nothing, however, compared to one Saturday morning. I was smoking a joint out the window after a long shift waiting tables the night prior. My brother then busts in the room, screaming at me for smoking, calls my parents, as well as my aunts and uncles (I have a big Irish Catholic family who are very intolerant of drugs). I was already paying for everything on my own by this time, but was a headache nonetheless, and I had to spend hours on the phone trying to convince them that my brother was lying.
I get the hell out of the apartment, fuming. After a long ride and a couple of rants with close friends, I return home. As I'm climbing the stairs of the apartment, I see my brother leaned against the post. He smiles and asks me if I could get him a joint later that night.
The rage was more than words can say. | My brother busts me with a joint, tells everyone in my family which guarantees an ass chewing, and then asks me for pot the SAME DAY. |
t3_51fzo2 | relationships | [M21] it's really hard for me talk with my schoolmate like a friend[20F] like we used to. I'm thinking I should just let it go but she's in my class. | Fall semester 2013 we sat next to each other in class and it was really for me talk with her.
She added me on snapchat.
Last fall semester I had to go to a different campus site and I kinda stopped talking to her since I didn't really see her much.
She eventually removed me from snapchat which I didn't think it was a big deal, i don't post very many interesting things .
So this fall semester I see her and I go to talk to her , and it's extremely awkward . She can't even look me in my eyes and giving me one word responses.
I noticed she's in my class today and we left I say hey to her ( while looking at my phone because I was reading something ) and she says hey so I think "cool, we're still friends" right before I hear her say "awwwkwaard" to her friend as I head to my next class.
It made my anxiety shoot way the fuck up. I had to skip class and walk to get some fresh air to cool down. | I think I've lost a friendship with someone in my class. Should I try to fix it or just let it go? |
t3_dboss | relationships | What to do reddit, what to do? | Hokay, so 22 yo male here. Ex of 5 years (off and on) broke it off about three months ago because "things shouldn't be this hard." Now this was strange because that had always been my line in the past, and the tables had apparently turned. Anywho, we made a relatively clean break, and I assume she has found someone else and moved on with her life, so I proceed to do the same, albeit after a rough few weeks.
Fast forward to this past weekend. She shows up at a football game (we both went to the same college, alumni now) with two guys, one of whom I had been a bit suspicious of in the past, but either way, they are both her friends. Turns out our SEASON tickets are like one row apart, and toward the end of the game she essentially says she was wrong to break it off, and she has met other people but it just wasn't the same because "they weren't me." | On and off GF of 5 years breaks it off, comes back a few months later, says she still loves me, I still kinda have feelings for her. |
t3_277704 | AskReddit | What is the molecular mechanism that spurs a need for survival? | Okay, follow me through some high-talk for a minute.
So you've got a young universe where a bunch of elements are banging around, bumping into each other. Over millions of years, some form compounds, you get your planets and stars. Easy enough, right?
On these planets, enough time passes where enough elements bump into each other to form complex combinations of elements - molecules. Then the molecules combine with molecules, pretty much by chance, to create complex globs of "stuff." I get that.
What gets added to these complex multi-molecular lumps that makes them go from random cobble of "stuff" to all of a sudden "okay, I've got to find a sustaining source of energy else I'll die?"
For the hairsplitters: *Of course they're not complex enough to "think" let alone understand the concept of "I." | What gets added to a complex assembly of molecules that transforms it from "inanimate blob" to "organism that needs to *and tries to* feed to survive?" |
t3_21e6ly | relationships | Me [M18] and my girlfriend [F18] have been going out for exactly one week and it is her birthday today. What should I get her? | We have been going out for a week, and kinda rushed into a relationship, as our first conversation was maybe a month and a half ago. I have known her for 3 years but we just recently became close.
Anyways, her birthday was today, and I have no clue what to give her tomorrow. I would've asked this yesterday, but she didn't come to school today so I don't have to get a present until tonight/tomorrow morning.
We have been dating for such a short time, that I don't want to go over the top and creep her out, but I don't want to get something too little and make her feel unappreciated. What would be an appropriate present? I am thinking some $15 dollar flowers, and $5 worth of bite-sized chocolate. Kinda cliche but whatever. We are doing her birthday date on Saturday | What should I get my girlfriend, who I have only been close to for a short period of time, for her birthday? |
t3_1eucz5 | dating_advice | Would you talk to a guy you think likes you if you were in a relationship? | I[20m] like this girl [18f] but I know she has a bf so I've respectful of only talking to her when I see her at work but recently we've been texting a lot and hanging out at work. I know they've had problems in the past [been dating since march i believe] and I don't know weather the things she says/talks to me about are just her being nice or if she actually knows I like her and wants me to know there might be a chance there? I feel bad and wouldn't want to hurt her relationship but if she's talking to me maybe she already wants out or am I reading too much into this?
Texts she's sent me: "We should see that! But I don't think it would be entirely ok for me to see it with just you because of my bf", "You're going to find someone, if you haven't already", "You're an amazing guy" | Girl I like has been dating guy for few months. Has sent me a few texts that could go either way. Does she like me or is she just being friendly or both? |
t3_1uea7x | relationships | Me 26M with my girlfriend 35F of 1 month can't breakup and i'm confused | I met a girl that is 9 years older than me. We have great chemistry and hanging out with her is a lot of fun. I feel comfortable with her hanging out.
But there are also some very big differences between us. She has been in a couple of very long relationships, is unemployed and is out with girlfriends a couple times a week partying or having drinks. She feels that is just a fase and has to do with her being very dependent in previous relationships and that she didnt go out enough. She sais she thinks she will be done with after a while. I have never been in a long relationship (longest two weeks) and im not very social. I'm fine just focusing on my work, study and family, plus i dont drink and i dont like drunk people. There are also some other big differences in personality, plus ofcourse the age difference.
She feels that we should just see what happens. She sees the differences and i told her that it makes me very uncomfortable.
We hung out a lot this month. I have had no structure or sleep because we were having sex all night plus i'm not used to sleeping with somebody next to me. Also knowing that we are a bad match has made me very uncomfortable and it affects my moods in a bad way.
On new years day she made a big mistake and crossed a red line that i told her she shouldn't ever cross (she didnt cheat or anything). So a couple hours later i broke up with her. It was somewhat easy to break up because i was angry.
A day later i got insecure and i just hated the thought of not being with her and making love with her. So i called her up and we made up. Now i still feel bad when i'm not with her because i know there is a really big chance that the relationship is eventually doomed.
So my questions are:
- Why doesn't she want to end the relationship for her own good?
- How do i deal with this?
* Any other thoughts are appreciated. | Girlfriend knows we are a bad match, still wants a relationship. I can't deal with it. Please provide thoughts. |
t3_1nljxt | relationships | My [33/m] GF [29/F] overheard a conversation I was having at work after I failed to hang up a video chat call. | I work in a restaurant kitchen, and there was an ongoing conversation between co-workers about one guy's gf not giving him enough oral sex.
A few of the guy's I work with offered graphic and colorful solutions to the problem. I offered the following:
"women don't want to be asked, they want to be told."
I realize how this sounds. I didn't mean it in a misogynistic way, I meant it in more of a 'women love confidence' way...
My gf and I have had the same conversation.
I continued by trying to diagnose the problem. I asked how long he'd been with her. Just a few months. I then offered the following:
"women will sometimes stop doing it after a while. except for nineteen year olds, they just love to do it all day."
Again, I can see what could be taken from this.
So my gf, who had been listening in, sends me a text message calling me a gross, immature, entitled little boy. She said that that's how i think of women, as sexual objects to do with as i please.
She then told me to go marry a nineteen year old who will blow me.
We had discussed marriage, and were a month or 2 away from moving in together.
I suppose my question is this:
Can it really turn around that quickly? Or does it sound more like she's scared about the seriousness of the relationship and she's using this as an out? | My GF heard a conversation between myself and my coworkers in a restaurant kitchen, and broke up with me via text message. |
t3_1puya5 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my on/off girlfriend [19 F] of about 5 months, mixed signals everywhere. | Hi Reddit, I wish I had someone personal to come to with this but I really need some help with understanding what to do here. About 5 months ago me and this girl started hitting it off, we both go to the same university where we met through some friends. At the begning of our relationship things were fantastic, but quickly we both had extra clothes and stuff at each others places. Spending the night three times a week.
After about 3 months of this she randomly gives me a call and tells me we should just be friends, I agree and get all my stuff. She is a sobbing mess and absolutely devastated, but I don't know why. Later that night she calls me and asks to talk the next day, I agreed and we decided that we had moved too fast and that we should try it again.
Now at this point for the last two months we have been seeing each other, going on dates, and occasionally spending the night together but nothing very intimate. For the past two weeks she has been very sick with the flu and we have not seen much of each other, but she continued to call me and tell me how awesome I am for her among other things. Today I then asked if she would like to go out and now she says she would maybe feel unconformable with that and that she feels like she might still be leading me on. What can I do? Anything I should do? | Short term girlfriend broke up with me, got back together next day to try it again. Now getting blindsided with what she is saying. Don't know what to do. |
t3_54urmo | relationships | Me 21m and I am terrified | I am 21m and I am an aspie and I am terrified.
I am terrified about the future ahead of me. The reason for this is because I am aware of the fate of my demographic. With a terrifying unemployment rate as well as a shorter life expectancy how does one not be terrified? But the biggest things that scare me so much are relationships and myself.
The reason why I am terrified about relationships is not the relationship itself but rather how I interact with it. Aside from having tremendous difficulty obtaining the attention of a female. I leave out the fact that I have asd. My fears are when this person likes me and it ends up being serious and getting married, I end up becoming a heartless burden. I have read the stories of people in a relationship with them and it scares me. It scares me so much that I cry myself to sleep dreading that end. Everything I read about me reinforces this. I fear that there will be no happy ending, there will be no tree waiting for me. I dread being lonely it feels like death by a thousand cuts. I just desire to be normal, just like any other bloke. People have told me to be optimistic but with such statistics that I have seen it is very difficult to be so.
I am terrified of myself. I have dated before and there was one girl that I liked so very much and liked me in return. But she had to leave so being me...I went to find another date so quickly. How heartless can one be to do this? I can't feel like normal people would. How can I show my love for that person? I have sworn to never ever become a burden nor to cause pain to another person. But I am terrified of being lonely. What am I to do when my existence will cause another person's pain? I can not tolerate my existence if I am condemned to loneliness nor can my existence causes pain to others. I don't want relationships to become toxic to my SO. But I am terrified of being lonely. I don't want to be that aspie nightmare that I have seen and read about. Will there be a tree for me or will the stories be true and it never gets better. | I am an aspie and I am terrified of myself and what I ultimately want out of life. What should I do to prevent my nightmare? |
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