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t3_1gqcln | relationship_advice | My (30F) "best" friend (28F) is a habitual liar, amongst other things. | It's not that she just lies. It's almost like she's in a whole other world inside her head and everything is romanticized. She comes from a wealthy family and she's beautiful, having been married when she was young to a significantly older, successful man, which ended in divorce.
She's currently on probation for two DUI's from last summer (all stemming from bad relationships w/ numerous dudes) and is back home living with her parents. She won't admit that she has an alcohol/prescription pill/possible sex addiction.
She's on house arrest, yet she updates social media sites w/ stuff saying, "I just got back from California (we live in Idaho and she's had to wear a house arrest ankle bracelet)." She tells people that she's moving across the country for school next fall, but she's thousands of dollars in debt with no income. And she constantly reaches out to the same guys and tells them everything's great and she'd love to meet up with them for drinks. And they buy into it. Because she's gorgeous.
Also, does anyone have experience/knowledge dealing with UA's? She has to regularly take random ones. To my knowledge she's been passing them (because she isn't back in jail). But I swear I smell stale alcohol on her breath frequently, which she denies when I confront her. "Oh, my dry shampoo smells like vodka." Riiiight.
I'm scared about what it's actually going to take for her to shape the hell up. Is that even possible? Is it possible to love and support someone when you know you can't trust a damn word they say? And before it gets mentioned, I go to AlAnon meetings. And I have support from other people.
The thing is, she really is an amazing woman. And when she's back in reality, she's my favorite person to be around.
I guess I'm just wondering if other people have been in similar situations and how they turned out. | best friend is an (in denial) addict and chronic liar. Is it worth it to stick it out and support her when she constantly lies? Is it possible for people to change? |
t3_228cgg | relationships | Me [19 M] with my friend [19F] 1 year 2 Months | So basically i have been talking to this girl for a while now, and she opened up to me with her feelings and to be honest i was really surprised (kinda dense). I didn't know how to react since I only saw her as a friend so I told her how I felt, and she accepted it and we went back to being friends.
However after she confessed to me i started seeing her well not so much as a friend and got attracted to her, It has been 2 weeks since the confession happened. The main issue is that she lives far away >.< | My question is, is there a possibility in long distance relationships working out and also what are the important factors that are needed to make them work >.< |
t3_1qia9l | relationships | Me(22m) has been trying to rekindle things with my baby mama (19f) but I'm a little worried about some things. | We broke up a few months ago due to some horrible decisions on my part and just recently decided to start things over. However, it seems like she is going out of her way to get upset at something....today I was telling her my plan for the near future as well as we talked about buying a house. Somehow the people we dated during the separation came up In condo so I asked her what they had that I lacked, and if she was more attracted to them than to me. She just responded with "I won't tell you that because it might hurt your feelings." So now I feel like she is settling.
Another thing that bugs me is she has access to my Facebook and I back every text I get to an email that she can access (due to old trust issues) and now every time I get the chance to see her and our son she is snap chatting and texting the whole time, but won't tell me to who.
One last thing, last week she texted me very upset that a friend blew her off and I asked which friend and she said it's none of my business. But she did admit that it was a guy, that's all she would say.
None of these things are all that terrible, but I live 400 miles away from them and so every little thing makes me worry I might lose her.She has never given me a reason to not trust her. Should I be worried? | girlfriend lives 400 miles away. Talks and snaps to lots of men as well as hangout. Never given me a reason to not trust her. Still worried. |
t3_rfn2j | AskReddit | Is my friend being a dick or is it just me? | How do you know if you have a good friend or not?
So I met this guy about 7-8 months ago now. We really hit it off and talked pretty much every day, I gave him advice and vice versa. All kinds of philosophical discussions and so on. Hung out a lot, had a lot of fun. Says I'm such a good friend and how he always tries to be the best for his friends and whatnot.
I tell him all about one of the items on my bucket list which is going great white cage diving in South Africa. I tell him all about the research I've done and how I can't afford it because the plane tickets are so expensive from Europe. He's apprehensive at first but then says that we'll go together (promises, if this adds context) and he's going to try and get some cheap/free plane tickets. I think "yeah right" but tell him I'm super enthusiastic and excited.
About a month and a half ago he goes on his erasmus (university exchange in a different country) so we keep on talking via skype/fb.
About 2 weeks ago or more he suddenly stopped talking to me. Completely stopped, which is out of the ordinary really, we talk a lot.
And today I catch a fb comment convo with one of our mutual acquaintances where she asks him "so when are we going this shark tank thing or whatever it's called?" to which he replies "This will be in South Africa, I'm trying to get free plane tickets now".
Sure, I'm butthurt. Supposedly I was such a brilliant friend (his words) that he stopped talking to me. And now he's in effect stealing my "thing"? He hadn't even heard of god damn shark diving before. I realize people are free to do whatever they want but right now I'm just pissy and want to vent.
So reddit, am I being petty? Is this normal? | Make a great friend, talk non-stop, then he stops talking, taking an acquaintance to do "my thing". |
t3_139cd8 | dogs | Puppy poop question. | I'm sure this has been discussed, but I couldn't find anything that answered my question. Thanks for being patient, doggit.
I adopted a 1 year old GSD about a month ago from a rescue. He eats Nature's Recipe Lamb and Rice puppy food, which is also what he was eating at his foster home before I got him (so he has NOT changed food in the past 4 months). He eats about 4, maybe 4.5 cups a day (supposed to be gaining weight). We are also doing puppy training, so he's eating a fair amount of Train Me Treats and the occasional all-beef hot dog for loose leash walking (he is resistant to this concept).
When I first got him, he was pooping nice solid poops twice a day (morning and night). I haven't changed his walking schedule or feeding schedule, but he is now only pooping once a day, usually while we are at the dog park and sometimes it's solid at first but then watery towards the end. I'm sure this is unpleasant for him and I don't want him to be in pain. His behavior has not changed at all other than the pooping and he seems energetic as ever. I can't feel any changes to his stomach or anything. We go to the dog park a lot, if that's relevant.
We are going to the vet for something else on Saturday, so I will ask them anyway, but wanted Doggit's advice.
Could the treats have caused this poop change? If so, what are some good treats that might work better for him? I need nice smelly ones for training but I want him to be able to poop normally... | Puppy's pooping less frequently and sometimes it's watery--can treats cause this? What might be going on? |
t3_4jmlvy | relationships | My BF [m/30] abruptly stopped taking anxiety meds and seeing his therapist; I [f/28] need advice on how to voice my concerns | My BF began seeing a therapist and taking Prozac at the beginning of March when he finally got the courage to seek treatment for longtime anxiety issues. Our relationship--we're nearing 3 years together-- always presented us with challenges. But his period of receiving treatment (basically the entire months of March and April) were the best we've had because we were each communicating more openly and having constructive conversations about where we see ourselves in the future.
Enter the beginning of May: my BF finds out the therapist he's seeing is not within his insurance network. He gets hit with a big bill and stops going to therapy. He's not taking Prozac anymore because he no longer has a doctor to authorize a refill. He lives in a pretty small town and says none of the providers near him have any availability. Finding another therapist isn't a priority for him, and he keeps telling me he feels fine.
Now, I know stigma, shame, and feeling he could manage the issue himself are the big reasons why it took him so long to get help for his anxiety. In fact, the impetus for him starting treatment was me breaking up with him at the end of February. In general, he's not the type to take action on things in his life until he's already at the edge of a cliff.
Since he's stopped getting treatment, the same old issues are beginning to plague us again: his grumpiness putting us in a cycle of ongoing minor arguments, him not communicating effectively, him expressing constant worry about work and questioning whether I really like him, etc.
It's been made clear to me in the past that he doesn't want to discuss what's underlying his anxiety issues with me--and I respect that. That's a big part of what a therapist is for. Now he's not communicating with a professional, and it's starting to hurt our relationship again. How do I express my concern for his health and our relationship while respecting the financial and practical issues he's facing around securing an in-network therapist? | BF prematurely stopped receiving treatment for anxiety disorder out of the blue, and I'm unsure how to voice to him that I feel he needs to get back to seeing a therapist and taking an anxiety med. |
t3_2unv1l | relationships | I [23 M] am having a hard time moving on after being dumped by my fiancee[23 F] (7 years together) | So i know that the typical advice for someone who is going through a break up is to cut off all contact. Well i can't exactly do that because we have a child together.
We have handled child support and visitation outside the court system because we are both very understanding of each other's financial situation and schedules. I'm not concerned at all in the slightest when it comes to that stuff.
We were together for almost 7 years and our child is two. My fiancee initiated the separation (8 months ago). Her reason being that she wasn't happy.
That being said, I'm having a difficult time moving on. We talk every day, and the boundary we set is to strictly limit our conversations about our child and financial matters. So far we've kept true to that agreement, but god damn is it hard for me to accept the idea of us not being together.
I love her, i miss her, i still get that tingle when i see her. Fact of the matter is that i haven't introduced the idea of getting back together because she broke my heart and lost my trust. I have major suspicion that she may have left me to pursue someone else and it didn't work out.
I haven't confronted her about it because I rather not hurt the great communication & scenario we have regarding our child.
I've been trying to move on, but I'm having a hard time doing so. Mainly because I think we could make things work. I still have feelings for her, and i have a feeling that she just got cold feet before our wedding (well that and the alleged other dude).
Should I bring up the idea of getting back together, or just continue trying to move on? How does someone move on in a situation like this? | Was with my ex for 7 yrs, considering rekindling our relationship, not sure if it's a good idea. |
t3_3gf691 | relationships | My [20M] roommate [20M] lets people sleep in my room at our condo. Advice on how to handle this? | So I'm in college, my roommate and I graduated high school together and ended up going to the same college. We weren't best friends in high school but we got along well.
We live in a 3bed/2bath condo that his father bought and I rent from them every month. The third bedroom is vacant as we are still trying to find someone to move in with us. It doesn't really matter because I pay a fixed rate every month ($500).
I came home tonight to see that someone had slept in my room over the weekend. Usually I think he cleans it up before I get back to where I won't notice anything. But this isn't the first time this has happened. I texted him about it and he apologized and said he would take care of it.
I'm not a very confrontational person and when it happens I just kind of shrug it off.
Our doors do lock but its the doorknob type thaf just has a small hole you can unlock with a paperclip or something.
Should I go buy a regular doorknob where only a key can unlock it or what? He gave me permission to do that but I don't want to come off as an asshole or anything. I guess I'm too nice. | Roommate lets people sleep in my room and I usually just shrug it off. Looking for advice on how to handle this. |
t3_3ezhs4 | relationships | How do I (27M) know if I miss my girlfriend (27F) or I miss having a girlfriend | So i ended my relationship with my gf 6 weeks ago because I thought it was the right move for both of us. We were graduating law school and I didn't see a future for several reasons (introvert v. extrovert, i love to cook v. vegetarian, etc). I was pretty upset about it because we were really good friends and shared a lot of mutual interests. I thought it was all normal to be sad about breaking up but it has not faded since and I miss her everyday. I don't know if it just takes time or if I really do still have feelings and should try and win her back. Even posting this I am confused and not sure what I feel. I do not want to be unfair to her and string her along but I also do not want to let go of someone I truly care about. I really want to at least stay friends but at this point I am not sure if I can handle that. Is it just too early? Not really sure what advice I am looking for but wondering if anyone has been in similar situation and how they handled it. | broke up with gf after 7 month bc is didn't see a long term commitment but i cant stop thinking i made the wrong decision |
t3_dv0xv | self | TIR that my sister's birthday is the same as my Reddit birthday :( | So, I've been really anticipating my reddit birthday. (as you can probably tell) I live with two fellow redditors, and my little sister (we are all in college).
Anyways, there was a cake in the fridge with candles and a note that reads: Happy Birthday! Enjoy!
First thought that comes to mind, "Oh awesome, my roommates remembered my Reddit Birthday, how cool!"
So I decide to dig in, as I'm finishing up the piece of cake, in comes one of my roommates. "Dude! What are you doing?! You're such an asshole!
You can't even wait for your sister to get home before you eat HER birthday cake?!"
I froze, looked at my phone and realized. October 22nd, my sister's birthday. :( Now I feel like an asshole for eating her cake. | My sister has the same birthday as my reddit birthday, I accidentally ate part of her birthday cake before she got home. |
t3_2k69td | relationships | I [18 M] just started hooking up with a new guy [35 M] , and tonight he told me he slept with his mom. | Okay, I know right off the bat the age gap is terrible. Yes, he's old enough to be my father, etc, etc. I'm not looking for anything serious- we met at my college, he chatted me up, the usual routine.
We've been flirting for a couple of weeks, and we've fooled around a few times. Tonight, I went over to his apartment, he took me out for dinner, then we went back to his apartment. After smoking and a couple drinks, he put on 'Gothic', which is in retrospect a major red flag. We made out a bit, then got back to talking. He tells me more about his life, and about his 'crazy' ex-girlfriend. The story includes him mentioning that at one point in his life, he slept with his mom as a form of revenge against said ex. He didn't meet his mom until he was 18, and she came on to him, at least according to his story.
He's interesting and funny, and we have a lot in common. But, holy shit, he fucked his mom in some bizarre Freudian revenge scheme. So, what I want to know is how do I address this? I know I should end things, but now I'm kind of afraid to, and don't know how to do it tactfully. "Later days, motherfucker" just seems crass. | Met a cute, interesting, older dude. Turns out he's got an extreme Oedipus complex, and he acted on it. What the fuck do I do with that? |
t3_3b70iu | relationships | Ex boyfriend (24) doesn't know if he'd ever want to get back with me (f) (25) | My boyfriend (24) and I(F) (25) have been broken up for 6 months, we were together for a year and a half. we hang out often, have sex, and he's still a big part of my life. We've gone through 3 miscarriages, and I'm seeing a specialist in august and he said he wants to be part of that journey because he cares. I have hopes that we might get back together one day.. when I ask he says he doesn't know what the future holds, but as of now he likes being single and not having anyone to answer to.. that he enjoys hanging out with his friends whenever he wants, drinking whenever he wants, etc.. I'm Just confused if I should keep pursuing and holding out hope? | ex says he doesn't know what the future holds and doesn't know if he'd ever want to get back with me. |
t3_1om3xw | relationships | What is the best way for me[24M] to initiate no contact with my very recent ex?[23F] | So what I've gathered is if I want to do her the biggest favor I can it is to initiate utter no-contact between us. I don't agree that this will be best but for once I think I may take advice instead of having experience be my teacher.
How do I go about doing it? Do I tell her? We ended very friendly and share a dog together. She suffers from mild depression and I am very worried about what this could do to her work performance, is there any other way?
What have been your experiences? what has worked best when your partner was very upset about the breakup but understood that it was probably best for both of you? | If no better option exists I will do NO CONTACT for her benefit. How do I go about initiating this protocol best? |
t3_2nexyy | relationships | Me [23 M] and my ONS [28 F] know each other for 2 nights, have Sex during 2nd one. Not sure about what she wants. | We know each other for 2 nights. She asks my friend (M27) "whether I'll be there again".
Am there again the next night. We go out again. Have fun, have Sex (again in the morning and she went for it). Go for a nice walk in the sun. Bring her to the main station. Says she wants to go to Event with me. I agree, tell her I'll contact her. Send her message the next day: "How are you?... We had a great time... Well go to Event next week." Her reply "...Had a great time,too. Shall I ask someone else to come along?..." (... = random stuff)
I suppose it's some retarded test and I should say of course I only want to go there with her? Or she generally doesn't care.
Reddit, I need to know so I can have sexytime again with her. Had great fun and she's a great girl. | ONS says she had a great time (in person and again via text) and asks me sober to go to event with here, asks whether to bring someone else. WHY |
t3_25w8nm | relationships | 22 F meets 30 M. It's awesome. But we live 3,000 miles apart. Is there any point? | So, hi. Advice needed clever people of reddit :)
I'm a woman in her 20s, and recently met a guy in his 30s and it was insane instant attraction. We met by chance, after both seeing eachother just a few days previous. A couple of minutes either way and we may never have met.
We got on better than I've got on with anyone when first meeting them.
We talked for hours and hours. We didn't sleep together but we stayed in the same room, talked til we fell asleep, couple of hugs and a some holding hands. He was leaving on a flight a couple hours later.
Thing is, I'm from the UK. He's from US. We're both in long term relationships (well, I was, I've just broken up from my 2 yr relationship. I had question marks over it any way and meeting and having this connection with another person just made me realise maybe now isn't the best time to be in a committed relationship, not fair on him, not fair on me) and he is in a 4 yr relationship.
Now, I haven't made any contact yet and he didn't take my details (I had fallen asleep by this point) but he left me a note with his info on.
Should i bother getting in touch? What would be the point? I dont want to homewreck his relationship, that's not really up to me. Maybe he doesn't feel the same - who knows. But. Should i bother?
I've never felt like that before, so instantaneously attracted to someone. It's pretty silly.
halp! | 21 yo Girl meets 30 yo guy by chance, spends one night (non romantic) together with an insane connection, but live 3000 miles apart. Any point staying in touch? |
t3_20dkp4 | relationships | [16/M] Just had my first kiss. Its been 7 hours now and my heart rate is trough the roof, whats going on? | Hi all,
I just had my first kiss and gee-whiz what a kiss it was. Im having a pretty nasty headache right now tho (its 4 o´clock past midnight) and my heart rate is pretty high still. Every time I think about her I just go numb, and my heart starts racing, but I really, ***really*** need my sleep. Should I take a Paracet pill or just try to think about something else?
Biiiiiiig sidenote: I had 6 coffees today (500x the recommended amount) so definitely has something to do with it.
***A million thanks to everyone that would take time out to be on this sub!!! | Headache and big heart rate after first kiss. Its been 7 hours, this is getting pretty annoying. What should I do? |
t3_tah8e | AskReddit | China is trying to seize power in my country(Taiwan) by gaining mainstream media access. What should I/can I do about it? | It is no secret that Taiwan and China are in an awkward situation lately. They are trying to seize governmental and political powers with every way they can. After our government allowed Chinese based corporates to trade stocks, fund, and buy Taiwan based companies. They are eager to buy newspaper, radio, and television companies. Lately a company *wantwant*, a China based financial holding company, is trying to buy ChinaTimes, a major newspaper company in Taiwan. Though evident financial state of the Chinese company *wantwant* shows that they do not have sufficient funds to buy ChinaTimes, they surprisingly have the money to do so. Due to these circumstances, they are speculated to have been funded by the Chinese government. In the world where the internet still exist, you may think, "big deal." The popularity of Internet connectivity, however, isn't as popular as I would like to think. Even for the people who have internet connection, almost all the internet traffic is concentrated on Chinese (the language) websites. Our education integrates English as a second language, but people are reluctant to obtain news from other sources than Taiwan based news companies. We also tend to be hesitant when it comes to protecting our own rights (its a cultural thing, don't ask me why). Vast majority don't care for public marches, public speeches, online or offline petitions, advertisements, announcement, and Facebook pages. Only when things go terribly wrong, genocide, poverty, and tyranny, do we start to pretend to care. Many people still stupidly believes everything the government and news sources say. I am a student and I am out of ideas of how to raise public awareness. Help! | Taiwan is about to lose freedom of the press to China, and the people couldn't care less. What to do? |
t3_rd003 | AskReddit | I just witnessed two old men about to exchange sexual favors in a public bathroom. Reddit, what is something you never thought would happen to you? | It was the public bathroom in the largest park in our city. I had just gotten out of a movie and the soda I was drinking went right through me. I knew I wasn't going to make it home and had to stop at the park to use the restrooms. They are sketchy at best and only have low walls between toilets with no doors. Im very nervous about pooing in public as it is but it was an emergency and I didnt have a choice. I chose the farthest "stall" back and took care of business. I was waiting to make sure my body was done when I heard someone come in the door. I gave the obligatory cough to let someone know I was there because, once again, no stall doors. I was basically done a few seconds later so I wiped, stood up to fix my pants and I looked over to see a man at least in his 70's quickly making weird gestures at a short old man next to him at the urinals. He faced the urinals while very obviously shaking his head "No" at the other one. The shorter one looked homeless and as I was walking out they both pretended to be peeing while they waited for me to leave. It was the most uncomfortable thing ive ever witnessed because they were pretty freaking obvious. | Two old men came into the public bathroom I was in and started to exchang sexual favors before they realized I was there. It was horribly uncomfortable once they realized I was,,,,, |
t3_3txklm | relationships | My[31m] girlfriend[45f] of just a few months has some behavior with her son[11] I find odd. | I've only been seeing this woman for a few months, but decided to stay with her at her place for a week. While I've been staying there I've found her and her son seem extremely affectionate, I wasn't raised like this at all but 11 seems a little old for a boy to be constantly all over his mother like that.
Last night something happened that kind of irritates me, she asked me to sleep on the couch so she and her son could sleep in her bed. I didn't like the idea so she said ok ok fine we'll all sleep in the same bed, well I went to sleep because I had to get up early this morning and she just slept with her son in his room all night and still is.
This doesn't make me jealous as much as it just bothers me because it doesn't seem healthy, also that she wanted me to sleep on the couch shows that she doesn't have much concern for my feelings. She takes medicine that completely knocks her out to sleep , it seems like she would be more aware of that when thinking about sleeping with her son who is going through puberty. Is this strange to anyone else? | My recent girlfriend seems a little too physically attached to her 11 yo son, I think its weird and it makes me a little uncomfortable. |
t3_ui7iq | AskReddit | My girlfriend had cheated on me the last 4 months and I took her back. Anyone NOT think I am stupid/willing to share similar story? | I transferred to a school in January while my girlfriend finished up her senior year of college. In February we broke up, and I was having a hard time dealing with it. We eventually got back together in March and it was still a little awkward. Then I learned that she lied to me about being with another man. We broke up again, got back together again in April. Then I learned she had been lying to me about the extent of her relationship with this other man. By the end of May I had learned two more things she had been consistently lying to me about, but as we talked it out I realized I just couldn't let her go. I am in love with this girl and have forgiven her for these transgressions, and I am willing to trust her YET AGAIN. She will be moving in with me in July. At first I didn't know If I made a stupid decision, but now I feel like I made the right choice. I haven't told most of my friends/family about this because I fear their judgement of my decision. | My girlfriend cheated on me for a few months, but I forgave her and took her back. Asking if anyone else has a positive view of my decision. |
t3_2cn2r4 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] dropped this bomb on me and I don't know what to do | I have been dating this girl for 6 months. We first started hanging out and were at a friends house. We weren't dating at the time. There was a friend there and he is a drug addict/ scummy person.
We were supposed to hang out later that night at my house. I left about 5 minutes earlier. She said she was going out for a smoke. I go home and she doesn't show up so I give her a call. She sends a text and says she might have had too much. I offer to give her a ride she declines.
Anyway on that smoke break somehow that lead to her banging the guy on a path near the friends house. I went back to still hangout with my other friends and wrote her off.
I get a call from her later that night and she says shes sorry etc for blowing me off. I ask if she did anything with that guy. She said no.
My friend talks to the sleaze and asks if anything happened etc. They both say no.
A few days later she comes over to hang out and she lied to my face and said nothing happened.
We ended up dating and it is a really good relationship. She told me just now 6 months in.
I am more then furious. I can't really describe how I feel. She has been trying to make amends. Saying she will do anything. At the time we weren't exclusive, but it is still not how you should act. | Girl blew me off one night and ended up banging this drug addict. Told me 6 months into relationship. I don't know what to do. |
t3_h5spc | AskReddit | My mom is divorcing my dad out of nowhere; do I interfere? | My parents have been (seemingly happily?) married for what would be 25 years in a few months, and out of nowhere today my mom asked for a divorce. She's moving in with a friend and has already hired a lawyer. According to her, their marriage has been loveless for the past few years, although she admits she hasn't done anything to remedy the situation (no couple's therapy, etc). What really concerns me is that she met up with an ex-boyfriend the last time she visited her parents (in Canada, my parents live in the southwest US) and they decided that they should have been together all these years after one date. They've both left their respective spouses and are planning to move in together in less than a month after effectively one date together. To complicate things further, my 21 year old brother, who has learning disabilities and bipolar disorder, still lives at home and depends on my parents a lot while he's working toward an associate's degree at our local community college. My mother wants him to move to Canada with this new guy, which just seems like a terrible idea. If my parents thought their marriage was over and wanted to separate, I would totally support them. I'm just worried that my mom is throwing away her family life for the chance to have a romantic fling - one that will likely end bitterly after a few months since she doesn't really know this guy. This whole thing has come as a bit of a shock to me. A divorce is one thing, but it seems crazy to me that she's going to move to Canada to be with a guy she barely knows. Should I try to talk her out of moving, or is that sort of thing needed in a divorce? Any advice would help... BTW, I'm 23 and live on the other side of the US. | Mom is suddenly moving to a different country to be with an ex-bf after 25 years of marriage - should I try to convince her not to or let her go on her way? |
t3_1z2dla | relationships | Me [24 CD] with my boyfriend [24? M] a year or so, treats me badly | I'm a 24 yr old CD (crossdresser). I met my boyfriend on craigslist like a year or so ago. I don't know if we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend because he already has a girlfriend but I like to refer to him as that. He comes over late at night and I give him a blowjob and we chat a little bit and he has fucked me before. We've met up probably like 20 times. The past few times I've tried chatting more, like about my day, asking him questions, etc. but he gets all awkward and weird and doesn't say much. I'm trying to take our relationship to the next level and get closer but it feels impossible. I feel like he just wants to come over and use me for blowjobs. The last time he came over I actually got upset and he just left. I've emailed him multiple times since then and I haven't heard back. I don't know if he's mad at me or what's going on. I don't understand why he's treating me this way. | I think my boyfriend is using me for blowjobs. I tried to get closer to him and he pulled away and is now mad at me. |
t3_1losa5 | relationships | Ex [20/f] of 3 years broke up with me [21/m] broke up with me 2.5 weeks ago. With another guy already | Posting with a throwaway. Also excuse the poor spelling/grammar/formatting. Just found out this all in the past hour
So my now ex gf of 3 years broke up with me around 2 1/2 weeks ago. She then proceeded to post statuses saying how happy she was, then a picture of her and another guy.
I asked her if she was dating him (I know, not a great idea) but at first she kept saying it was none of my business. She eventually told me she was dating him.
I now feel extremely pissed, hurt, and betrayed and feel she might have cheated on me with him, or at least broke up with me to get with him, and I have no idea how to deal with this. Has anyone been there, and can they give me some advice? | 3 year gf broke up with me. Got with another guy in less then 2 weeks. feel like she cheated on me with him. Need to stop being angry |
t3_2e1aoh | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 1.5 years, she has depression and I need to learn how to listen better | My girlfriend has depression and sometimes it affects us in different ways. Aside from the depression she complains a lot about people, school, how she misses home, etc… I don't know how to deal with it since they are mostly her problems and I can't solve them for her.
When she talks about stuff I typically end up saying "yeah….no…..mhm….I don't know…..sure" or just nothing at all. She gets upset with me because I don't say much, but I just don't have much to say, I'm not sure what she wants to hear from me, I've always been a quiet guy. And honestly sometimes I get fed up with all of her issues and just don't care.
But I want to fix how I react to her and how I listen to her, how can I expand on my small short answers? I don't think she wants to hear suggestions or how to solve her problems, so I'm not sure what she wants to hear from me. | Trying to become a better listener when my girlfriend talks about her issues, I don't keep the conversation going due to my short answers. Trying to find what else to say. |
t3_19nqy2 | relationships | How should I (18f) handle my parents (50m and 45f) hating my boyfriend (23m)? | They strongly dislike my boyfriend of 3 years because they think he's a loser and too old for me. He does still live with his parents, but he's working two part-time jobs right now while taking a break from community college. Not the typical american dream, but I think he's doing great. I don't think my parents should judge him for not already having a career, etc., but they do.
They don't hide their hatred, either. For example, we were chaperones on a church trip to six flags a few months ago. My mom asked, "Oh is Joe going?" I said yeah. She said something along the lines of, "Great. Well I'm going to go home now and take care of my responsibilities. That's what *adults* do." Both of my parents constantly make snarky comments about him. My dad makes fun of him for living with his parents. A few months ago I got into a bad argument with my parents and I called Joe to come pick me up. As I was walking to his car my dad was yelling things like "Stay out of the ghetto!" and "He's turning you against your family!" Joe hasn't turned me against my family at all. That night was the first night I'd ever even talked to him about serious family issues.
We're already talking about getting married after I get my degree, and we're planning our lives around each other. Oh and I have three younger siblings who love him. He's awesome with little kids. How should I handle everything with my parents? Should I avoid bringing him up? Should we invite them to the wedding or casually let them know it's happening? It's really frustrating for me, but it's been easier since I've been at college, but I know one day I'll probably have to bring him up again.
How should I break it to them if we end up getting married? What should I say when they talk badly about him? | Parents hate my boyfriend. I'm away at college right now, but I know I'll have to deal with them when I go home. What do I do? |
t3_40k0sx | tifu | TIFU by walking into a closed door | Okay so this happened back in the summer. My friends and I were having a chill, we were outside by the fire, roasting marshmallows, typical white people stuff.
We were all having a great time, the fire looks nice, we're all laughing so I decide to get my phone and take a picture of us. My phone was charging inside, keep in mind, my friend's parents were in the living room watching TV which is right where the door led into to.
It was dark, 10 pm ish so it was hard to see. I start walking and I walk straight into the glass door and fall back. I thought the door was open. My friends are dying of laughter and my knee is killing. I look up and see a giant crack in the door. His parents think I was on drugs even though they were super nice about it and I'm on the ground clutching my knee. | chilling outside with friends, go inside to get my phone, the door is closed, thought it was open, crashes into glass door |
t3_2rtues | tifu | TIFU By eating ghost pepper curry while drunk | This took place back on new years eve. Had some friends over for drinks and games, playing super fight and cards against humanity. Good times. One friend also brought over some curry made with this ghost pepper sauce he got for Christmas. Well after getting pretty toasted we thought we would go ahead and try it. Instant regret. It started to burn before I even got the fork out of my mouth. It spread from my tongue to my gums to my lips then my cheeks. It burned down my throat and up into my sinuses. My snot, which was running freely, even burned everything it touched. That wasn't the worst part. In our mad dash to quench this unholy blight we unleashed upon our self, we found the only dairy product we had: Eggnog. We were chugging it strait from the jug, it was our salvation!. After a whole gallon (two half gallon jugs) we were finally free of the horrible burning. None of us got sick as we were pretty hardy drinkers but here is what got me. I had my gal bladder removed when I was in high school and sometimes my stomach gets irritated by certain foods and can mimic the symptoms of IBS. So the next day i was parked on my toilet with the most awful burning poos and insane stomach cramps. I also had to work that day because missing would have been an auto fire. | Ate ghost pepper curry while drunk, chugged eggnog for relief, got super lava shits and had to work the next day. |
t3_1f4ytj | BreakUps | I [27M] broke up with my gf [29F] of nearly 3 years a month ago. Not sure if it was the right decision. | My girlfriend and I were together almost 3 years. We were best friends. She was incredibly loving and caring. We never fought, got along famously, and our sex life was good. However, the relationship was shallow by both of our standards. After 3 years, we still didn't live together. When we first got together, she had a great job, her own place, was independent and social. Then she quit her job for what I feel wasn't a good reason, and moved back in with her parents. She got a crappy, low paying part time job that didn't even pay enough to pay her bills. She did that for about a year and a half without change.
We always talked about moving in together, having kids, etc as an inevitability, but she never took any of the steps necessary for us to do that. I graduated from college, got a great job, and was ready for the next step. She wanted to move in together too, but by her own admission drug her feet. We would sit down and have these talks about our future, where she admitted she needed to get her shit together. I was ready for the next step, but she couldn't seem to get there.
So, I break up with her, because I didn't want to be the person carrying the entire relationship. She was absolutely destroyed. Didn't eat for like a week, and has been horribly depressed ever since. I recently started feeling like I was getting over it. I met this other girl who I got pretty infatuated with pretty quickly, but got rejected. So now I'm sitting here, pretty bummed out, questioning whether or not I really want to enter the dating world again at almost 30 years old. I feel like I'm risking not having kids. I forgot how much I hate dating. All the fucking games and flakyness and drama and shit. Part of me wants to just call up my ex and ask to get back together, but I think that's just loneliness and looking for the easy fix. What do you guys think? | Broke up with girlfriend a month ago, due to lack of progress in relationship. Hating the dating game, and considering getting back together with her. |
t3_4nfw4i | relationships | My boyfriend (21M) wants to learn my native language. How do I (21F) tell him it can't really happen? | My boyfriend and I have been together over 3 years. He's planning to propose to me this year, and we're going to have a long engagement with hopes for a wedding in a couple years.
He's white and American, and my parents are immigrants from India. Recently, my mom went back to India on vacation and broke the news to my grandparents, that I'm seeing someone and that we plan to get engaged. They were overjoyed. My grandfather was a bit worried because his english isn't particularly good and he fears he wouldn't be able to talk to my boyfriend.
Now, I don't speak my native language fluently but I understand it and can answer simple questions. I don't know nearly enough to teach someone. But my boyfriend is gung-ho about learning the language. The problem is, it's a relatively unknown language and there's no duolingo or rosetta stone for it. It's also a tonal language with a lot of phonemes that make non-native speakers almost incapable of speaking it.
Should I tell him it's a lost cause? How can he best communicate with my grandparents? They want him to come and visit after the proposal and he's never been out of the country before, let alone to India, and I'm a bit worried about that too. Can anyone help me with these fears? | Boyfriend wants to learn my native language. I don't know enough to teach him and you can't really learn it easily. |
t3_49mow2 | relationships | My [21 F] bf's [30 M] ex girlfriend has tried to contact him many times. What do I do? | I have been with my boyfriend about 3 years. But his ex, who he was with before me, has always tried to contact him. I believe they were only together for a short time, less than 6 months.
She even added me on snapchat TWICE and found out information about my age and confronted my bf about it. When I messaged her asking who she was she tried to play it off by saying I had a class with her at my Uni. She has tried to get under my skin and I know it because she even texted my bf before and asked him to hang out. Luckily, my bf advised her that she needs to move on and she continues to do the opposite. I found this out by going through his phone (which I never did before) because I felt uneasy and I knew he was trying to keep the situation under control.
At this point, I am ready to confront her about it and thinking about it just fires me up. My bf has given her way too many chances, she has done this 5-6 times and he says that she has still, to get over it. He has messaged her politely saying to move on and that she will find someone else. It has been 3 YEARS since the break up, he doesn't let me speak to her because he is afraid that I will say something to her that will make her kill herself or hurt her feelings. Why does he even protect her? He has stated that some people take a while to get over a break up but this has gone far too long. I just want to be left alone and not feel like my relationship is being watched. | Bf's ex gf is still hung up over him and won't leave us alone. What do I do? |
t3_33ugkq | relationships | How do I break up with my boyfriend nicely? | I [26 F] have been dating this guy [29 M] for about a year and a half. I tried to break up with him a few times when we first started dating, but he insisted I give him a real chance. I agreed and things went well, but I'm still not in love with him. He loves me and I do care about him, but I realized I don't want to spend my life with him. I want to break up with him but I'm not sure how to do so nicely. I would like to still remain friends with him, but I'm afraid he will blow up and try to cut off all contact with me, since that is what he did before. What can I do? | I want to break up with my boyfriend but not be a jerk about it. He is a nice guy but I just don't love him. |
t3_4rurob | relationships | I [40M] started a long-distance relationship with a girl [30F] who has alcohol/drug problems | I met a girl while on vacation earlier this year. Nothing happened, but we clicked and interacted online using chat/facebook. I went to visit her recently and we had a great time together, really connected on all levels. I returned home a few days ago.
She lives in an area where people go out a lot, party, etc., and that's been part of her existence for some time. I saw first hand that her friends, while fun, are immature, shallow, don't really care about her or her best interests. They just want her to be out with them, drinking, doing drugs, having fun.
I'm okay with that for the most part, but today she has a big work event. When we spoke last night (we're in different time zones), there was no indication she'd be going out. This morning I was surprised to discover that not only did she go out, she stayed out til 6am her time. Instead of a full night's rest for her important day ahead, she will have to get by on a few hours sleep. On top of that, I'm concerned that whatever she took last night will impair her performance today. When we briefly discussed this, she said that she missed me and is having a hard time sleeping/being without me. I told her I am here for her, even if I can't be there physically.
I care about her and want to help her as best I can, but worried there's a fine line between supportive concern and being a nag. I think she probably knows she has a problem, but I am not sure she's ready to deal with it on her own, especially when those around her pressure her to go out with them. Any thoughts? | A girl I really like is surrounded by bad influence, doesn't exercise good judgment, has emotional issues and a substance abuse problem, and I'm not sure how best to help. |
t3_27e6fy | tifu | TIFU by trying to get insurance | TIFU by calling my father's insurance agency to get my own policy. I just bought a cheap car a week ago and have been trying to get it registered but in order to do so I needed proof of insurance. My father originally wanted me to transfer the title to him so he could put the car under his policy but me being the idiotic twenty something I am, wanted to keep the car in my name and pay the difference in cost of insurance to my Dad ( an extra $60s on my end for 6 months, a pretty good deal in my head). While talking to the insurance rep on the phone going over my policy this morning she asked "Have you had any accidents in the past 3 years?". Well yes but only one of them was reported to insurance, a minor fender tap under 5 mph because the lady in front of me had stopped short. the other one was 2 years ago when I hydroplaned and my car ended up in a ditch, totaled. I told the insurance rep about both forgetting the hydroplanning incident had never been reported because the car was a loss and the police never ticketed me (according to the officer there really wasn't anything he saw that he could ticket me for.) The insurance rep paused and told me she was going to have to do a more in depth search and call me back. two hours later I get a ring and she tells me that she told the other insurance agency my dad is with about the accident and they have it down now as a $0-1800 accident which now means I would have two points. 1 point is waive-able but with two points they both get charged (who came up with that system??), of and now my premium just went up $200... so now my father is mad at me because he got another point on his insurance and the likelihood that im gonna be able to insure this car is dubious at best, and im still no where closer to getting the truck registered then i was a week ago. All because I thought having my shitty $1000 truck was worth keeping in my name, because "I'm an adult now" | wanted to get a car insured in my name, ended up costing my father a few extra hundred dollars and got no where. |
t3_2wzyon | relationships | How do I (31f) (tactfully) tell a grown-ass woman (57f) to take a damn shower? | My mother is living with me, my husband, and our infant daughter for an undetermined amount of time. She has been here 5 weeks. She has taken zero showers.
My mother is a narcissistic emotionally manipulative woman. There is a reason she had nowhere to go but here when she found herself displaced by fire - she has burned all of her other bridges, friends and family alike. I couldn't live with myself if by refusing her a roof she would become homeless, so she is living here until she can find a job (which is a whole other ball of dysfunction and I fully expect that day to never come).
So, all the other related issues aside. I have to keep the peace as best as possible. My mother is sensitive and explosive when it comes to criticism, real or perceived. Why it has not dawned on her that she needs a shower, I dont know. She did make reference to a shower a few weeks ago but said that since our sink backed up when she brushed her teeth, she didnt want to risk the shower/tub. So we draino-ed it. My husband even thoroughly scrubbed the master bathroom and told her she could use that one. But there has been no further action on her part.
So ( | ), how do you tell a woman who should know better that she smells bad and needs to shower?? Without hurting her feelings and blowing up a tense situation?? |
t3_4ldu8p | relationships | My boyfriend [16M] plans on telling his parents tomorrow about me [16F] but I am scared they will disown him because they are racist | Hi Reddit, This is my first time using this site so please be patient with me.
I am mixed race half White and half Mexican, I have dated my boyfriend for 2 years now and I really do love him alot. Would never dream of cheating on him with anyone. We live in Missouri and my boyfriend and I go to the same school and are in year 10. We both plan on going to the same college in our home town.
We have never really had any real relationship issues besides this one. When a guy would hit on me I would tell him immediately I am not interested or a girl would hit on him (he is muscular for a 16 year old). His parents are extremely racist, they are a white family. They almost disowned their daughter for going to prom with an Asian guy.
My boyfriend and I have basically snuck around for 2 years. I have never been over to his place, we have had to lie to people, we have never been able to do all the things a normal couple does.
The only member of his family that knows about me is his sister. Last night he worked up this courage of he is going to tell them and what happens, happens. I tried talking him out of it but he is bell bent on it.
He is going to tell them tomorrow and I am scared they are going to disown him. I am terrified that they will kick him out of the house and or make his life a living hell. I don't know what to do | My boyfriend of 2 years is finally going to tell his parents about me. I am scared they will disown him because they are racist and I am half white/half mexican |
t3_qz12j | AskReddit | What fucked up things did you do as a kid? Mine is pretty bad. | So I was living on an AFB in Florida. Eglin to be exact. We lived in a trailer park. (People would move in and out all the time because of the military. We weren't trashy or anything.) In the middle of the trailer park there was a playground/park area. It was pretty basic you could climb it, slide on it, walk and play underneath it, etc. There was also this little piece about 20ft away from the park. It was just a crawl tube, a wall, and a clear dome thing to look through. (Relevant later) Well, one day me and my friends got bored and we started digging underneath the main playground. (sand) We would dig for hours, just to see how far we could go. We then realized there were tons of other kids around who could do this work for us. I was 8-9 my friends were 10-13. We decided to start making other kids dig for us. We weren't going to do manual labor damn it. So we started getting other kids my age and younger dig for us. If they didn't listen to us, my older friends would drag them to the side tube thing and make them sit there. Here's the kicker. No one wanted to run home and pee, so we would just pee in that tube thing. It wasn't rly part of the park. Soo yeah...
Plus side: We dug so deep we broke a water line, the giant whole filled with water and we could wade/swim under the playground. | Ran a child labor camp as a child. Forced kids to sit in a pee filled tube if they didn't dig. |
t3_2tynfk | askwomenadvice | I (M25) can't tell if she (F26) is interested... | Hello all,
I moved abroad about 6 months ago and have met an amazing woman. We have excellent conversations and she is stunningly gorgeous. At times I catch her staring at me or messaging me out of the blue but I can't tell if she is interested in more with me. We often have deeper discussions with one another than we do with anyone else here. I know that were she to be interested I would start a relationship with her but I just can't tell. I haven't asked directly because I really love our friendship right now and I fear that it may go by the wayside/she'll feel awkward if the feelings aren't mutual. What are some signs I can look for to see if she is truly into me? Should I just say to hell with it and ask her? Clearly my neurosis is getting to me :/ | I like a girl quite a bit, we get along excellently but I am still uncertain about if she is interested in me. |
t3_4ul7za | cats | I am adopting my first cat soon and need some info about FHV. | So i was approved to adopt a cat thats a little older (around 8 years) this morning and in the initial email I was told that this cat had required foster care because he became sick when he first arrived due to stress. He is now doing better, but could become ill again if stressed.
Upon inquiring further (as any good perspective adopter should do), I was told that what was originally thought to be calicivirus was determined later to be "herpes related".
I have inquired further with the shelter contact about FHV and what exactly this means (including the cats well being and potential medical expenses). As someone who comes from a family that never had pets, I don't really have anybody knowledgeable I can turn to that doesn't have a vested interest in me adopting this cat.
She seems to indicate that as long as he has a stress free life, I won't have to really worry about it.
SO! I turn to reddit, to ask all of you cat lovers if you can provide me with any insight. Any and all info about it would be great, thanks!
If the info is relevant: I'm a mid twenties male that lives with my GF. Both of us work full time and plan to get a dog in the near future.
Also, just a quick note, so people don't think the shelter was being sketchy:
She has been very forthcoming with info and in no way tried to hide any illness with me. She was very happy to answer all my questions and offered to put me in touch with the foster parent to help give me more info. | Fell in love with a foster cat, found out he had a "herpes related" illness (presumed this means FHV), and need more info to help decide if adopting this cat is a good idea. |
t3_1f5uro | relationships | Can I tell my friend that I don't want her to come on vacation with my other friend? (All f 29, friends for 5+ years) | So, me and a friend ,K (friends for 10 years), are going to a concert in another city where we're staying with my other friend, J (friends for 5 years). Since our cities are 10 hour drive apart, I only get to see J once or twice every couple years. I'm planning to drive there a few days before the concert and stay a few days after to spend time with J and maybe tour around the area a bit (10 days total).
K and J aren't really friends and have only met once through me. I see K all the time, we're going to be roommates starting in August and we do almost everything together as it is. Is it awful that I don't really want her around the whole time I'm spending time with J? If she didn't stay the whole time, she'd have to fly one way on her own. She said she can probably get the time off work so that she could stay the whole time... but truthfully I don't want her to. I'd rather just have the time with my friend that I don't get to see very often. What should I do? I don't want to hurt K's feelings and she's kind of sensitive that way. | Want to spend time alone with one friend who lives far away, but other friend/roommate plans to tag along. |
t3_2whtjt | relationships | I [26M] am seriously upset with all but one of my close friends letting me down and have no idea how to tell my most trusted friend [28F] know its getting to me. | Ok so I think I have opportunities here but I have no idea what to do. To keep it short due to unfortunate circumstances, random acts of cock-blocking or basically being forgotten I have somehow ended up in a situation where all of my close friends have drifted away from me to the point I never hear from any of them any more and my messages barely get replies.
Detrimental relationship breakups for them have left my two long term close friends different people. I still talk to one who is a great guy but seems to always be busy if I'm asking but has time for others :/ different story for a different day perhaps.
That leaves me with one remaining close friend, I count myself extremely lucky to have someone as honest and kind in my life that I can openly discuss my problems with. We work together (that's how we met) and get on fantastically. She knows that I'm annoyed that my other friends from outside work have been crappy to me but I haven't told her that it's so bad I don't talk to any one outside work.
If I tell her this I have to say that she's now my only remaining proper friend. I'm afraid that's something she might not be expecting and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable with that fact. I don't want to loose the best friend that I have but she is the only one I would trust to tell this to. I don't know that if she really is as kind as I think she is it wouldn't make he think any less of me.
To clear up any potential misunderstanding it's a platonic friendship. Not throwing that complication spanner into my issues! There are people I'm friends with at work would never meet them outside it or at an event associated with work. | One friend left I trust and can communicate with honestly, I don't if I should tell her that this fact is eating away at me without freaking her out that she's my best friend/only remaing close friend |
t3_1na9a8 | relationships | My wife [41F] left me [42M] after a 10 year marriage, moved across the country, to "find herself". Not sure what to do. | We've been married for more than 10 years, no children. No infidelity on either side. We've had our ups and downs, as we've both struggled with depression and difficult childhoods. We've lived through cancer and deaths in the family, together.
Last month, she left. She had been depressed and distant for a while and I was hoping we would recover from this. She decided she needed to find her purpose again, she had lost herself. She says she loves me but cannot love herself anymore. I love her too, but now she's gone.
I asked her what she expected of me ("nothing"), what this was ("trial separation"), how long it would be 1 year, 2 years, 5 years ("can't know that now").
After she told me all this, she packed a bag, got on a plane and flew to the other side of the country, to live in the city where we had met.
It appears she intends to find work and pay her own way, though we have joint finances. We were pretty much living from contract job to contract job and in debt before. My work pays well when I can find work, but my wife hadn't worked or earned income since we met.
I am in shock, unsure what to do next. I don't expect her to come back any time soon. I'm not sure there's a relationship to come back to, it seems to me that despite our love for each other and the effort we put in we were not able to make it work in practice.
Now I am torn between turning a new leaf in my life, as it appears she has done, or waiting for her to "find herself" and return. The latter seems insane and likely to lead to disappointment for me. But if I give up and don't wait, then I feel like I'm giving up too easily on 15 years of my life. | Married 10 years, difficult marriage but based on love and respect. She was depressed and left me to "find herself". I'm not sure what to do next. |
t3_49ftqm | offmychest | Kicked when I'm down | After months of soul-crushing applications and putting up false pretenses, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my parents that I really wanted to join the military instead of going to graduate school (as I had graduated just months prior.) I was expecting my parents to push back, but they were overwhelmingly supportive.
I went through all the requisite steps: meeting recruiters, talking about my options, assembling all the documents, asking for recommendations, etc. but it turns out that my congenital heart defect was enough to disqualify me from service altogether. I've been told that I could possibly receive a waiver once I proceed to the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) some 5 months down the road, but I'm not terribly optimistic.
To say the least, I'm feeling pretty down and terribly embarrassed. I made a major life decision and it came crashing down in my face. I even had the gall to excitedly tell my friends that I was going to join the military! But to make things worse, my dad told me to cheer up because, "there is a plan" for me.
Now, I must note that my parents are very religious, but me? Not so much... I used to be very devout, but my life experiences have given me a different perspective on things like morality than those that my parents hold dear. I respect and love my parents dearly, but the remark made by my dad, while made with good intentions, just drove me up the wall.
We had previously had talks about whether or not "God" had a plan for everyone, and we had concluded that it was something we could never answer. In fact, my dad had even told me that he had gotten angry at other people for saying the same thing when it came to one of our family members suddenly falling ill.
I don't know if my dad remembers that conversation, but I definitely do, and it's made me furious that he would be so hypocritical. But most of all, I'm mad at myself for not being to let it go, when as I said earlier, he only meant well. | Received bad news that I literally have zero-control over. My dad said something to try and cheer me up, but it only made things worse. |
t3_2oucz5 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my friend? [19 F] briefly known her, met through tinder, too clingy too fast, my first time with a girl after being cheated on. | Alright I'm in need of some advice here. I really don't need shitty reddit jokes and sarcasm right now, need help guys. Thanks in advance.
First off I'm 3 1/2 months out of a 3 and a half year relationship that ended with her cheating on me. Was incredibly broken up. Got depressed. Got medication. Got better (still on meds). I am over this girl at this point. I'm ready to see what my option are and get out there---however.
I met this girl through tinder this week, we had a date where i made her dinner at my place and we watched two movies. We've hung out twice since and have 'progressed' to topless making out. That's all great but I'm realizing at this point that I've just been going through the motions with this and not sure this is really what I want.
Clingy isn't the best way to describe this girl. She just says things like "you're one of the best people I've ever met" and stuff of the like. While she's been really cool I feel like she's falling in love me with after only seeing her 3 times with me just being my usual nice self. I just got out of a long relationship and it ended poorly. I'm not ready nor do I want this kind of attachment from someone, especially so quickly... The worst, and most conceded part of this is I'm not completely attracted to her. I got so caught up in just going through the motions to be able to see a girl more when I should have ended this a whole lot earlier.
Please, I don't know how to explain this to her without really upsetting her as she seems to be a "fragile" girl. If you guys need me to explain in more detail certain aspects of this let me know... I don't have it all sorted out in my head yet. | Girl seems too attached after knowing her only briefly. Not ready for that personally. How do I tell her this without really upsetting her? |
t3_145o6h | relationships | Am I (17F) overreacting to being called "(Boyfriend)'s chick"? | (17F, 19M, together ~ 2 years)
I'm never referred to by my own name, or even as his girlfriend, only "his chick". It makes me feel like an object, a piece of property. Every introduction to any of his friends is pretty much the same: "This is my chick"- not even mentioning my name. Every time I try to avert the inevitable and say "Hi, my name is <name>" I'm ignored and spoken over. "So this is your chick, huh?" Every time I bring this up (and I have been for months) he always uses the excuse "It's just the way we talk", "You're overreacting", "Stop over thinking it with that feminist bullshit".
This happened *again* last Friday, and I'm ashamed to say, I just blew up. "I'm not your *fucking* chick, I have a fucking name!". I just walked out. And now I'm in the wrong because I "embarrassed" him with my "feminazi tantrum".
I've tried to articulate my feelings for months and he's either incapable or just unwilling to try to understand. I don't want to be "that girl" and break up with him over something that seems to insignificant to everyone else, but it really makes me feel used and unappreciated. This can't be a normal way to refer to your SO, can it? How can I get my point across in a way he can understand? | I'm referred to as a piece of property, and ignored when I ask to be called by my name. I just want to be treated like a person. |
t3_2trnc9 | relationships | I [17/m] unsure of what to do with my gf [16/f] | My inexperience is killing me...
I've recently started going out with someone (about 2 weeks ago) and I'm having trouble knowing when to physically touch her (not sexually just stuff like hugging and holding hands).
I feel like if I don't try to take any initiative our relationship will fall apart and i'm not sure what to do D:
we only consistently see each other for about half an hour in the mornings with friends and for about five minutes after school when we walk out to the buses
If you need any specifics just go ahead and ask and i'll try to answer to the best of my ability! :) | I'm inexperienced when it comes to relationships and I have no idea when I should make nonsexual physical advances (or what the advance should be) |
t3_1qqi2m | relationships | I [F25] think my boyfriend [M26] might be doing steroids. Do I confront him? How? | My boyfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for almost a year..
When we first started dating, he was really fit. He was kinda on the skinny side but still had some muscle. He looked totally normal, nothing out of the ordinary. However, over the past four months or so, I've noticed that my boyfriend's body has significantly changed.
I don't really know anything about steroids but it's obvious that something is going on. He had to buy all new shirts recently because his other ones were getting to be too tight. My dad's a gym teacher and said my boyfriend can't get this jacked without steroids. Talk about an awkward situation to be in.
I've never seen my boyfriend do them and he's never talked or hinted about it. He works out a lot, eats healthy, so it probably wouldn't be a crazy thing to ask but still, I feel like it's none of my business. But I don't want him to feel like he has to hide anything from me.
What's a good way to approach him about this without making him get defensive? | I have no idea if my boyfriend's on steroids but it seems likely. I want to know how to talk to him about it. |
t3_2xom2z | relationships | Me [23 M] with my parents [53 M and F]. They know I'm moving out of their house and in with my girlfriend [22]. They think we're going to be one hundred miles away. How do I tell them we're actually moving 1000 miles away? | First, some backstory.
My girlfriend [22] and I have been dating for the past three and a half hats and we are going to get married eventually. We are currently long distance because I moved home to complete an associate's degree. After this semester I am moving in with her.
My parents feelings on my girlfriend vary. My dad does not want me to marry her because she is not of our religion. My mom wants me to marry in religion but likes my girlfriend and can accept that we are in love.
My parents give my leeway to do what I want, but I rely heavily on them for things like use of a car and room and board. They know I plan to move out and in with her. But they think I am moving about eighty miles away to continue school. A couple months ago, my girlfriend and I discussed moving farther away, about a thousand miles away, because there is nothing really keeping us here besides family and where we want to move is cheaper, has the climate and location my girlfriend and I prefer, and I can still complete my bachelor's at a school there.
My issue is how to tell my parents. My girlfriend already told her parents and they're good with it, but I've never been really independent and I have always held my parents' opinions in high regard. I know that I want to do this but I don't know how my dad in particular will react and while I won't need my parents help financially, I do still love them and want them to be supportive.
So what can I do to not turn the whole thing into a fight? We're not moving until mid August but in May we're taking a trip down there to check out where specifically we are going to move to and so I can visit some schools. | Parents know my girlfriend and I are moving in together in August. What they don't know is we're moving a thousand miles away. How can I tell them so it doesn't go poorly? |
t3_s4gwe | relationships | In need of advice on how to tell a friend of many years how I really feel about her. | I've know this girl for about four years and have always liked her very much, we are both in our early 20s, the only problem was that she was in a very serious relationship then, so out of respect I held my peace. They recently called it quits after months of it just going terribly downhill, fast forward three months and its where we started to spend time with each other. We talk for hours about our lives ambitions, dreams, plain silly things and there is never a dull moment or awkward silence . I realized I really like this girl I mean she is all I think about now, I've lost my appetite and can't sleep and my heart starts racing when I'm about to go see her. The problem now is that as far as she knows I like her only as a friend, would it be appropriate for me to tell her how I feel so soon after she broke up? if so how? | The Girl I had a crush on for 4 years recently broke up her relationship of 4 years and we have recently been spending time with each other, how can I tell her I have feeling for her other than friendship. |
t3_zqdo2 | relationships | My wife [26] and I [30] have started counsaling, should I bring up my wife's 'no father growing up' issues? | Me [30]
Her [26]
Background: My parents were together 39yrs until my father passed. We were a pretty normal family. Her parents split when she was 3 (dad cheated). Mom has raised her and her 2 siblings on her own since then, working nights and all the above to get by.
Been married 1 year, dating 3. A month ago she said that we have communication problems and she resents me. She moved out 2 weeks ago but I convinced her to go to counseling to try and resolve this. We both don't know how to communicate and fight properly.
We had our first session last week and it went OK. She brought up all the stuff that we have been fighting over. Tonight is our 2nd session and I wasn't sure if I should bring up what I think is a major issue. I think the fact her dad left her mom when she was 3 played a big part in her attitude towards not thinking we can fix this. The counselor didn't really talk about it on the 1st session. In the our introduction she asked us both about our parents and that's pretty much it.
So, should I bring up the dad issues as contributing to her not having faith in repairing our relationship? | wife doesn't think we can fix our communication issues. I want to bring up to the counselor that it might be in part of her "daddy" issues |
t3_xhpa3 | AskReddit | My friends and I got repeatedly yelled at and threatened by a drunk guy at a gas station. What was the most ridiculous thing you saw/experienced at a convenience store? | So my friends and I were at a Circle K in Sarasota Fl tonight around 10:00PM and we all needed to use the bathroom. There were 4 of us and 2 had already gone and 1 was currently in the bathroom (it was only a 1 person bathroom) when this guy in his late 30's staggers next to the bathroom door with a 4-pack of budlight waiting for our friend so he could use the bathroom. Our friend was taking a while so the 30 year old just walked towards the cash register. As this happens, our friend gets out and another one of my friends decides to just go to the restroom since he figured the 30 year old was just going to leave.
Suddenly, the 30 year old guy sees that we "skipped" him in line and starts yelling "You fucking douche bags!" at us repeatedly along with "Stop being such douchebags" and "mother fucker" this and "Motherfucker" that. Just really belligerent stuff.
One of the clerks tries to hold him back as he slowly chases us throughout the store and manages to push one of my friends repeatedly. We didn't know if he had a gun or a knife so we just played it safe and ran away like injured dogs around isles. Finally he gets kicked out but he waits outside, opens the door ever couple of minutes telling us to get out of the store so he can fight us. After 15 - 20 minutes, he leaves and we ll survive. | Drunk guy at convenience store tries to pick a fight with me and my friends cause we "skipped" him in line to use the bathroom. |
t3_1944q3 | BreakUps | I (27m) had a 6 month long distance thing ended (22f). Having trouble dealing with it | Back in July this girl and I started dating. Neither of us wanted to get into a relationship cause she had just gotten out of a 2 year shitty relationship and I was leaving from Texas for law school in Minnesota in about a month and a half. However, we continued being in a long term dating situation after I left. About 4 weeks ago she ended things because it was feeling too much like a relationship, which she still wasn't ready for.
I am having the hardest time getting over her. I fell for her so unbelievably hard and kept my mouth shut about it cause I knew it would scare her away. I honestly thought that she was going to be the one who worked out. I'm extremely homesick in addition to all this because I have none of my friends here to help.
Help | Long distance dating cause I had to move, fell head over heels for her, she ended things cause she isn't ready for an actual relationship. |
t3_455ppu | relationships | Me [33 M] with my girl [26 F] 1 Month, She is unsure | I have had strong feelings for this girl for years, and she has been aware. We have done nothing but get closer and closer. Two weeks ago, she says she has seriouly been thinking about us dating for two weeks. I stay over that night and we have some fun.
She tells me the next day she is scared because she has never dated one of her friends. Never gone friendzone to friendly zone. Here i'm thinking I beat it. She kept in touch, I was not pushy, and i remained constant but not aggressive. Kissing and touching and holding would happen. She would send me texts hoping i would have a good day.
This past Saturday happens and we do everything but have sex, and spend the entire day together. I was over Sunday night and things seemed fine after the Super Bowl. Monday she seemed a bit distant.
Tuesday came and I woke up to a text asking if we can just go back to being friends, she is still unsure and it's unfair, she likes me (i think she more than likes me), and she doesn't want me to leave and not talk to her anymore. I went and saw her and we talked. It's more or less she doesn't have time and the time isn't now. I reassured her i'm patient and will be here and that i don't want to hear she's talking to someone in two weeks b/c that WILL hurt me. Either way, I was pretty upset. This is my "one".
She asks me to come over last night after we had this talk. She hugs me and kisses me, is flirty, but then becomes distance and I think I might have been too pushy and apologized. She said I'm overthinking it too much. She text me this morning about her issue she had. Do I still wait this out? I think it's worth it. She gets in her head easy and starts doubting things, and i'm doing the same thing now. If we're just doing the friends thing, don't kiss me. I think that maybe the time isn't now, and i'm willing to wait, but i don't want to be shit on. | Girl is still unsure after having feelings for a while. Stated she wanted to go back to being friends but her actions show otherwise. |
t3_20p4xn | relationships | Me [22 F] with my LDR boyfriend [24 M] of 8 months, thinking of moving to his city (and moving in) after graduation | So we were friends for a couple of years before we decided to start dating and we've been together, all long distance, for about 8 months now. Although it's early on in the relationship, I know him very well because of our years as friends and I truly believe we'll end up getting married eventually. I'm about to graduate and I feel like I want to move away from my hometown anyway, so what better place than his city? We're both in agreement that, although it's a big step, it's one we want to take.
We've been considering getting an apartment together and agreed that it makes financial sense and we would be spending basically all of our time together anyway. I don't have a "grown up job" lined up yet, but I am pretty frugal so I have savings to live off of. I have also gotten a part time job offer in my field, although it wouldn't make me enough to live on. In other words, I could afford my own apartment, but it wouldn't be as nice and I would prefer not to dig into my savings.
Although it sounds amazing and does make a lot of sense, I'm afraid of taking too many steps at once. I believe that we'll end up moving in together eventually, I just don't want to rush anything. Because the cost of living there is pretty low, we've considered the idea of getting a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom place so that we still have our own space. I have stayed with him in his tiny apartment in the past for up to two weeks at a time, so I think we have a decent idea of each other's living habits.
Anyway, | Is it a bad idea to go straight from a long distance relationship to moving in together? Any advice is much appreciated. |
t3_43xbrd | personalfinance | I'm a college student and I just backed out of buying a car that would have required me to get $12k loan on top of my student debt. Did I make the right call? | My daily commute to school is probably about a 70 mile round trip, and my current car (it has 45,000 miles on it) just was not cutting it so I started looking for something smaller and more fuel efficient. I had my eyes set on a Chevrolet Cruze, but once I found one and started negotiating with the dealer they instantly tried to take advantage of the fact that I have never purchased a car solo before. So in total they were going to charge me $13,700 and they were going to give me $2500 for my current car (they low balled the hell out of me and refused to budge) and the monthly payment was going to be about $200 for 75 months. This is where I really started to feel the need to back out of the deal. After yesterday was the day I finally backed out after I asked them if we could save me around $500 by not doing all of the dumb stuff that these dealerships do when they take a car in to be able to charge more. I work at my school under one of the federal work study programs, and i make around $400 a month so I would have been able to afford the car. | Backed out of purchasing a vehicle that would've required me to take out a loan on top of my student loans. Did I make the right choice? |
t3_2usxcf | dating_advice | [22/f] went on date [22/m] now what | posted something similar in the relationship subreddit but then i found this one so
met a guy through tinder. had seen him around town before since we live really close, was very attracted to him but didn't approach him. i actually ended up running into him (physically) in a place and then we matched on tinder a few months later. so we met up for a "date" which turned out to be a double date. it went really really well, and we even hung out the following week
so i've ended up developing a crush on him. which for me is rare, since i'm usually automatically wanting sex/commitment right off the bat. have learned it never works out. with this one i don't even have the sexual urges it's just like a middle school crush.
the jitters, the butterflies, the weak at the knees feeling. he's not a big texter, sometimes i do go a few days without hearing from him. but he's excellent at conversation in person. i've always found that texting someone constantly leaves no room to talk in person
i have some confidence issues here though, well because it's a crush. and thinking back to my teenage days those were usually unrequited. the last time we hung out i admitted to him that i had a small crush on him (nothing serious) and he reacted well. his response was "let's hang out more. what are you doing next weekend?" and he did tell me he was interested in getting to know me on a deeper level. we've even talked about prospective hangs/concerts we can go to together and whatnot
but here i am over-analyzing. thinking that he isn't really interested, that i have no chance etc etc
like i've said before crushes are difficult and are usually unrequited. i want to take it as slow as possible here. | have a pretty solid crush on a guy. don't know how to react. i feel as if i'm 15 years old all over again |
t3_2wm0rm | tifu | TIFU by not taking the bus | I work in a mall which is about a 20 minute walk from home. Normally I can take the bus but I figured since it was a nice day out that I would get some exercise in and rollerblade there.
Due to the fact that people drive like idiots I keep to the sidewalks. Sucks with the constant cracks causing my feet to go numb but better than being squashed on asphalt.
Nearly to work and there is a long, not so steep hill. I'm coasting down at quick but not out of control 'I'm going to die' speed when one of those idiot drivers decides he's going to turn left into an apartment complex parking lot...right as I'm going by.
I try to stop, fail, and end up doing a stuntman's roll over the hood of the car, fly about 15 feet and land on my side. Dude in the car takes off. I get up dust myself off and continue to work since none of my clothing was messed up and hands barely scuffed.
Manager sent me home without pay because of how I looked. | Rollerbladed to work instead of taking the bus, got hit by a car on the sidewalk, sent home from work without pay. |
t3_2jzss5 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my classmates [22F] & [21F]. One of them won't respect my boundaries | We have a group project assignment due. The other 2 girls in my group apparentlu set a time for the next meeting without my consent while I was absent. They basically ambush me the next time they see me and tell me about the plans. knowing I had prior obligations, I try to move it. When this doesn't work I say "ok" acknowledging the meeting.
After my next class I finally have a chance to look at my schedule to see how flexible it is. I can't make this meeting. I let the group know (thru text) and give them options of my availability to set the a meeting at another time.
This one girl in the group starts nagging me about not being in class and not participating in setting the time. Which I wasn't there for. I told her to back off and to stop trying to tell me what to do. Also this girl has been trying to control me and tell me what to do this whole time. Where did I go wrong here? How do I handle this | my other 2 group members set our next meeting without my consent. Then one of the girls is mad I can't make it and is nagging me thru text. |
t3_z8fwg | AskReddit | My cousin and aunt have taken a total of $350,000 from my great grandparents. Is there anything we can do to hold them accountable? | My cousin (let's call her christy) is and has been a drug addict since I was a young kid. She has four kids, two of which are under my great aunt's custody. They both live in a different state from my great grandparents. Over the past five years Christy has harassed my great grandparents day and night for money with stories like she was starting school or the kids were sick. We've changed their home number and everything and she still manages to get ahold of them.
Over the past three years they've given her over $300,000. They've liquidated everything, they are out of retirement money, they took out their life insurance policy. And they are still living on their old farm outside of the city with no help, and we can't afford to move them, and they desperately need help.
And then on to my great Aunt, apparently she somehow got my grandparents' credit card number (whether they told her or she found out on her own I don't know) and has maxed out two credit cards in their names at around $50,000. We've tried to get her to tell her side of the story but she refuses to respond.
And the worst is my great grandma keeps falling for it all, we caught her the other day trying to send $200 to Christy because she told her the kids had strep and needed medicine. Is there anything we can do to hold these people accountable? It makes me sick to think they will get away with this while my poor grandparents are having to scrape for money, it's only a matter of time until my grandpa falls and my grandma can't get him up and there's no one around to help. | great aunt and daughter have extorted thousands of dollars from grandparents and left them to live in squalor. I want justice for them. |
t3_36itgr | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] of 6 months, has a great personality a but my physical attraction for her isn't very strong. | I have met a girl who has a quirky personality like my own and we have a great time together. I love her and really enjoy her company, but my overall physical attraction to her, is not as strong I wish it could be. I work out a lot and enjoy being active.
Before we started dating, she would never go to the gym. I try to get her to go with me, and she is starting to do it. But if I don't push her, she won't go. She isn't overweight or anything like that, but she isn't toned and a little pudgy. She wants to have sex almost every night, and I just don't have that strong physical attraction for sex every night. She takes it really hard when I'm not in the mood. I told her that I just don't have the sex drive to do it every night and I would gladly play with her if she needs the stimulation. But this is clearly not the case. I am just as horny as her, but I just don't get worked up about seeing her naked compared to her seeing me.
I mean sex is important in a relationship, but I keep telling myself that once we are both 60, looks really won't matter. She has a pretty face and a great personality, but I just want that feeling of seeing her naked and wanting to jump her. I just don't get that when I see her naked and all she has to do is be active, tone her body and I know I would be extremely attracted to her
How could I tell her that I am not attracted to her body? She is extremely sensitive and would not take that well and I love her so much, that I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I get her to take going to the gym more seriously? Or do I just live with this and realize that looks aren't everyything? I am part of the nofap community and don't condone porn use, so masturbating to pictures of other women is out of the question. | I love my girlfriend so much, but my physical attractiveness is not strong as it could be and she doesn't care very much about being active like myself. |
t3_yp0ew | relationships | Do men have a "role" in the relationship anymore? | I'm 26 (male), and she's 20.
My GF and I are both in college. We've been together for a few years now (my longest relationship). We have fun together, hang out a lot, and are generally really good friends. But something is missing. I feel like I should be doing something, or taking on some role that I can't put to words. I know I'm being vague, but it's a very intangible sensation.
Consider this: It is common to have a dog for a pet now a days, but for me, it feels like a dog should also have a purpose. Maybe he leads around blind people, maybe he tracks things with his nose, etc. But a dog without a purpose feels a little "empty". That's the feeling I'm getting - like I'm in a good situation with her, but I don't really have a purpose.
If this were 70 years ago, I guess I'd be supporting her financially. If this were 7000 years ago, I suppose I'd be spending my time keeping her away from big fucking lions. Logically, I have no idea what role I'm suppose to do now, but that urge to do it is still present. | what purpose do I have in a relationship with my gf? Protection? Not really. Support? We're both in college, so that's out. I feel like I don't have a job to do in the relationship. |
t3_3fz3w2 | relationships | I [18F] met this guy [20 M] and have no idea how he feels about me! | So I met this new guy at work a month ago. Let's call him Tim. At the department store we work at. Usually when we are both working we hang out and talk. Since day one. We have the same sense of humor and it feels like he's trying to make me laugh or go off my jokes quite often. And he doesn't seem to mind hanging around or talking with me and he doesn't really talk to many people other than me
So over one of our common interests , art. I asked him if he would like to send me some sometime? And he was like. "Oh okay" and so I gave him my phone number. We've texted back and forth a bit since I gave it to him about half a week ago. Hes texted me first several times. He takes about ten minutes in between messages usually or more. And after 5 or 6 he's off the radar til the next afternoon (in which he will briefly reply to my last texts.) Ask me if I'm working today once or twice.
We got talking about his last breakup which was about a year ago. And it was a horrible one. He said it still hurts. (He didn't say how much or how often) but he said he's starting to get impatient and sick of being alone. So I asked when we were going to dinner? Kind of playfully asking him out and then he says he's not really interested in anything romantic right now. Maybe that should be straightforward enough? But it seems like he might like me more than he lets on? How can I tell? Should I just be patient and not mention it ? Or should I just move on? | The guy I met (and adore) at work is giving me mixed signals. Should I take what he says at face value or should I be more focused on his actions? |
t3_131eyk | relationship_advice | [17/m] Trying to start dating after bad attempts? | So I'm a 17 year old guy and I havn't had a lot of luck with girls. I'm either always friendzoned, or rejected. My friends tell me I get rejected because I don't talk enough or I won't make my intentions clear.
Anyways there's a girl I want to ask out, she's not in any of my classes but I see her in between a few and at lunch sometimes. I really don't want to screw this one up. I'm planning on talking to her during lunch but I'm trying to plan it out so I don't screw it up.
Would it come off as creepy if I tell her I see her around everywhere and think she's pretty? What else should I say? I've never talked to her in my life so I don't really know what to talk to her about so I was planning on just getting her number and leaving. | I suck at asking girls out, I want to get a a girl's number that I've never met but I'm afraid of screwing it up. |
t3_12exhd | AskReddit | I always laugh hysterically when I think about this moment I had paintballing with some strangers. When and how have you ever been spontaneously awkward and what did other people think? (possibly NSFW) | I was out paintballing with a couple buddies one Sunday. Since it was partially raining and a Sunday, there wasn't a huge crowd of walk-ons (maybe about 10 of us). In between games while filling up with paint and air we sat down and listened to another group of 3's conversation about how they wish they had some jelly doughnuts. They seemed like a big bunch of jokers and were cracking gay jokes about how they would lick the jelly off of eachother's face. Kinda like how you might rub another man's leg just as a joke. Keep in mind I don't know these people. Well SAP me took this opportunity to chime in from left field with "yeah and then you can use jelly from the doughnut for buttsex." The whole place fell silent for a good 5 seconds as I sat their awkwardly awaiting a response. After that everyone burst into laughter including myself. I had successfully taken a casual joke to an awkward extreme. | Told a fellow paintballer that he could use jelly from a doughnut for buttsex. Hilarity ensues. |
t3_piztp | dating_advice | Confusion about my feelings, worried about differences | Basic information; I'm 18 (F) and the guy is 24; I've never dated but he was married for a while in the past. We are both attend the same college undergrad/grad, and got to know each other through a club we both love. I've been getting signs that this guy is interested in me; we often walk together and chat one on one.
I think he is a cool guy, I just worry that age and relationship differences might make things awkward, as most of what I know about dating I have read on here. Also, I am worried that if we did go out and have a bad breakup, then it would always be awkward as both of us love the club too much to drop out. | If this guy asks me out, how best can I bring up my concerns about dating/going out with each other? |
t3_1rmi5v | relationships | Me [25 M] with my friend [25F], we are going out for coffee , but I have no idea how she feels about me | So I've known this girl for a few years now, but the entire time I've been in a relationship with another girl. I ended that relationship a few months ago and decided to start texting her today. She ended the conversation with "if you ever want to get coffee or anything let me know" - and she's an attractive girl so I said yeah why not.
If it were up to me this relationship would go somewhere, but I have no idea how she feels about me. She never really hinted either way. So how would I be able to tell if shes interested or not? What do I do after we met for coffee? Text her a few days later? | Meeting a friend for coffee and I have no idea how she feels about me but I would like it to go somewhere. |
t3_4m5eq3 | relationships | My boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) are fighting because my novel is crap. | My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. He and I are opposites in a lot of ways but also very compatible, and I love him a lot. One of our major differences is determination. I have a tendency to give up easily, whereas he sees tasks through to the bitter end.
I am an English major with a creative thesis draft due in December. Since I'll be filling out grad school applications during the year, I thought I'd get a head start on the thesis during the summer. I had a proposal sent out and was excited about the idea. I wrote ten decent pages.
But I'm stuck. I realize writers always get stuck, but this always happens to me. I've never been able to finish anything longer than ten pages in my life, because my ideas die and so on and so forth. Basically, I'm a shit storyteller and I have no idea why I love writing as much as I do.
I told my boyfriend that I'm considering canceling my thesis. He's really mad at me and told my I give up "way too easily". I feel he doesn't understand my point, and he says he fears that I'll give up really easily on other stuff too, such as our relationship. I personally don't see the two things as connected.
Do I just go to sleep tonight and hope things quiet down? Is my boyfriend right? | I'm a shit writer and want to cancel my thesis as well as my dream of writing a novel. Boyfriend is turned off by my constant giving up on things. |
t3_53frk1 | offmychest | I'm in a LTR and think I might be bi? | I (22f) have been in a relationship with a guy (22m) for about 2 years. I have, by default, identified as straight my entire life. Since I was raised in a conservative home, the idea of being anything but that was something I never even considered, though i found myself feeling things when I saw attractive women (as well as men.) These feelings only increased as I got older but I continuously wrote them off as simple "human attraction," even though the feelings I had were pretty sexual. Lately, I am comfortable with these feelings. I want to come out, but I have not told anybody. It's confusing since I am in a hetero relationship and it could be difficult to tell my partner, as I dont want it to damage the relationship. But I want to because he's one of the most important people in my life. I'm not crushing on any female in particular, but want him to know it as a vital part of my identity. Honesty is of the utmost importance to me. | I am in a long-term hetero relationship and I want to come out as bi (for the first time) to my parter. Should I? |
t3_47zpl0 | dating_advice | Help: Me [19 F] with my ex [19M], I can't stop thinking about him and wanting him back, but I feel crazy. | I met a guy from school online, we talked for a month, and officially dated for one month -- the duration of us was 2 months.
We got super close super fast, and the breakup caught me off guard. He cited not having enough time to see or talk to me due to hectic schedules as why he ended it, not due to a loss of feelings or fight or abuse or cheating.
We didn't talk after the breakup for a few days, but then we talked again; he wanted to be friends, but it hurt me too much. About a week after that I told him I couldn't keep talking to someone who I had intense feelings for (we both said we were starting to love each other) that I could never have again, and the no-contact period has been going on a few weeks.
I still see him around campus and it makes me sad to not talk or have that relationship we had that I thought was going so well. We talked about future plans and got along great and he ended it suddenly.
I still have feelings for him and miss him and just want him back. I'm giving myself time to heal so I don't want to talk to him about it, but I literally cannot get him out of my brain. Should I try to reach out in a few weeks and get him back and how? or let go?
Am I crazy? HELP! | Ex broke up with me, we aren't talking, I can't get him out of my head and I can't stop wanting to get back together with him. |
t3_wau4j | AskReddit | I Got Yet Another Girl's Real Phone Number, But She Doesn't Call/Text Me Back. Has this happened to anyone else? | It's not a terribly complicated story. Spent a couple of hours talking to a girl when we had to split ways because of class. I ask her for her number so I can call her and we can hang out after class is over. I get it. An hour and a half later class ends and I call her (I prefer talking to people over texting, but I digress). The phone rings seven-dd times, and I hang up. So I wait about half an hour, then text her, reasoning that maybe she'd rather talk via text. I ask if she would like to hang out. About 30 minutes later, she calls me and sends me a message saying that she had her phone off... and nothing else. After texting her back, I have received nothing and it's been several days. I also tried calling, but got the dreaded "the phone rings one and a half times then goes to voice message."
And just so you know that I didn't send a creepy message, here's what I wrote her in my text back:
"Hi (girl's name), this is (my name). I was wondering if u would like to hang out tomorrow. Maybe like we did today and meet at noon?"
I'm certain that AskReddit has had something like this before, and I apologize. However, this has not been the first time this has happened to me; in fact, this has happened over and over and over. The details are always slightly different, but I'll get a girl's number, and either text them or leave a voice message, and I will never get a response. Oddly enough, of the half dozen times that this has happened, I have never actually spoke with them on the phone. Either a voice message telling me that, indeed, the number is real or a text saying "Yes, this is my phone number. No, I would not like to go out with you/hang out."
I don't know how many experts on this subject there are or if anyone has had the same experience, but I just find it so... disheartening that the same thing is just happening over and over. | Got another girl's real phone number, but once again they never respond. Has this happened to you? If so, why? |
t3_snz2o | self | Diagnosed with Anxiety disorder | I recently had a panic attack.
It was not my first one but the worst of all. Since then I am constantly afraid. It's similar to the fear of monsters under your bed when one was little except for there is no blanket to hide under and I don't know what I'm afraid of exactly.
I just am.
I'm going to undergo a therapy but since I'm in a foreign country for at least three months this therapy will start at the earliest when I'm back in my home country.
I am afraid all the time, I am trembling and I feel dizzy. I am afraid of having another panic attack. I don't know how to survive the next three months.
Anybody you experienced something like that? Any tips, any help how I can come through the next three months?
I'd be so glad if you could help me reddit. | I am constantly afraid and I don't know of what. I need help to fight against the constant fear. Do you have any tips or anything for me to survive the next three months before I can start therapy? |
t3_1ycbe5 | relationships | What will happen to my [21M] friendship with this girl? [22F] | I know I made a post on anxiety problems that I have, and I suppose this is an example of one. I haven't been losing sleep over this, but I have been rather bothered and more or less unable to function regularly because of it. Basically my relationship with one of my good friends went to shit lately.
I guess there's a little background to be had. It's a girl, I'm a guy, and we attend the same university, but have no mutual classes together. We got pretty close over fall/winter last semester over break but just as friends, and we've hung out every week for an extended period of time since this semester started. Beyond that, I've shown some minor signs of affection but it's been a pretty platonic relationship so far.
And I guess the problem is that I see her as more than a platonic friend. Of course, she had no clue of this until Valentine's day where I made some moderately telling gestures, like putting my arm around her and giving her a flower. We still had a nice good bye at the end.
And come the next day she starts acting cold, not responding to my messages or responding very curtly. She also didn't let me know that she was cancelling plans we had that day. I talked to her about it the next day and she denied acting cold but apologized for not letting me know about cancelling. I was pretty miffed but whatever. We talked a little more later in the day.
The past two days tho we haven't talked at all, and I've sent her some messages but none of them have been responded to, even though she's seen them. At this point I'm acting kind of desperate, because even if I know that very likely nothing romantic is going to happen (not in denial), I feel like our friendship is at risk. I know that if she keeps ignoring me I'm going to have to give her space, and that's what I'm planning to do. My question though is, is our friendship likely going to end because of this? I really hope not. | Made romantic gestures to girl, she wasn't comfortable with them, I get treated coldly and ignored, will our friendship last through this? |
t3_1rzs56 | relationships | cheated on. 6 year relationship. devastated. | Ok so I was with my partner (m23) for six years. We lived together, had animals together, knew everything about each other.
So the other day I broke it off, told him I just felt to uncertain about our future and felt it wasn't right to stay in a relationship with doubts (he's very unmotivated and jealous). I was ok with the decision although I would be lieing if I didn't admit I had hopes he'd get his crap together and it'd work out.
I found out yesterday (he finally came clean) that after all this time he had cheated on me with over ten different people numerous times. Some of them I knew and would always say hello I when I saw then etc.
I know it just sounds silly, especially after breaking up with him, to say I care..
But omg do I care. I am so hurt beyond words to think that all of this time I was sitting at home cleaning and cooking him tea, or working to pay the bills, whatever, that he was having sex with all of these other people.
We even talked about marriage and kids and he would of beer confessed if we didn't break up.
He also told me all of his friends knew the whole time, which just makes me feel so stupid and betrayed.
Basically, I have always been super trusting. I even pride myself on my ability to nnot get jealous or untrusting with him (well I did). And now I feel as though I've lost that, as though I'll never ever trust another guy. Or anyone. If he loved me an could hurt me why won't everyone else.. I'm just so confused.
Thanks for the vent and any advice is more than welcome... | broke up with boyfriend, later found out he cheated lots. Lost all trust in people. Can't get over betrayed by him and ''friends''. |
t3_3pqgg6 | relationships | My [52] dads wife[48?F] is fucking around on him. How do I help? | My dads wife is fooling around with other guys. A few years back he had a heart attack and she was getting fucked by another guy while he was in the hospital. He found out, stayed with her. Just recently he found out she was fooling around again "want to see my tan lines" was a text that popped up on her phone that now has a lock (which is strange). He went and talked to the guy and found out its not only him its her as well thats doing a lot of it. He refuses to get a divorce and start his life over again and he claims he doesnt care. Ive tried to talk to him and tell him he can always talk to me if he need to but my dads a quiet guy. He just hangs out with his bulldogs all day. How can I help my dad? | dads wife is fooling aroudn with other men and he says it doesnt bother him, he quit caring. I know it hurts. How can I help my dad? |
t3_2bi9wk | relationships | Baby mama (23F) kicked me (27M) out of the apartment. | Together 2 years.
I'm at a loss. We have a newborn daughter together. We've been fighting non stop. I've tried helping her but baby mama is impossible to be reasoned with. I tried to suggest cooking homemade food instead of processed junk because I don't want our daughter having access to that and don't her to mirror us, she got mad about that. Doesn't want to spend the extra money or god forbid, learn to cook, even though I suggested I would cook for her.
She wanted me to buy groceries with her food stamps, we get in a fight and she no longer wanted my help. Once again this morning she asked me to get groceries, she gets irritated about a printer problem, blames it on me because I was the last one who used it, then stubbornly refuses to let me pick up the groceries, says she'll do it herself.
Her name is on our truck. She wants me to surrender the truck because its too expensive. I say I don't want our credit taking a dive as it will be impossibly hard to get a new apartment when you have to pay crazy deposits on everything, and that's if your application is even accepted. Hell, some jobs require a credit check. We fight over that.
We fought over me taking our daughter out for a ride for a few minutes while she was away. She gets home and waits 15 minutes for me. Asks if I'm stealing our child.
We fight again this morning over the fucking printer.
We fought yesterday over fucking money.
We fought over her being on my bank account.
I'm so fucking over it. I hate that it has to be this way but I don't want my.daughter growing up in such a toxic environment. I've got a place to.stay for now, its just going to be difficult. I'm so sad how this all went down. I never wanted it to be this way. | baby mama and I fight every day, hours at a time, over everything. I'm so sad about the future. |
t3_1kpp10 | relationships | Me[18M] with my gf [18F] of 1 month, Should I tell her I love her ? | My relationship went pretty fast, we both are totally into each other since the second date.
She asked me out to go into downtown with her sister's boyfriend and her sister to walk and to watch fireworks and it was pretty romantic ! Since that day we've seen pretty much each other everyday and it is perfect.
Though I am worried about when I should say her I love her... Twice I've restrained myself to say it even though I felt like it was the moment but I don't want to scare her.
Her family, friends and mines all know about it, that we are together.
She also calls me her lover.
Her texts are fulls of heart and smileys and she keeps telling me she wants me to be at her side 24/7.
P.S: It is my first girlfriend, well it is also the first girl I've ever considered being with.
P.P.S: Sorry for any grammatical error, I ain't a native speaker of English. | Relationship went pretty fast, everything's perfect, we're both into each other, but I keep restraining myself to confess my love to her, I don't want to scare her because it's been only 1 month. |
t3_1y1upm | relationships | Me [19F] with my boyfriend[22M] of 2 years, I think I just want to be single | So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now and things have been rocky at times but we always seem to get past it. However, lately I have just not been feeling the same way.
I try to communicate with him whenever we disagree, but he always thinks that I am trying to attack him and gets very defensive (this happens with even mundane things like choosing what our dinner will be). We *have* recently moved in together temporarily so that may be a bit of a catalyst with us being forced together all the time i.e. nowhere to really have some alone time unless one of us leaves the house for a while.
We barely have sex at all, and when we do I just don't really enjoy it. He can tell this, and that makes the sex bad for him too. We have talked about this a lot and tried lots of different things but nothing seems to change.
On top of this we bicker *all the time*. We probably have 1-2 small spats a day. It has been making me resent spending time with him and communicating with eachother just doesn't seem to be helping. Being single looks more and more inviting every day and I have very nearly left him on the spot a number of times. It feels like i'm falling out of love with him.
I have never really been a 'relationships' person (he is my first real boyfriend, and he had to chase me for a long time to make me agree to be in a relationship) but I truly did fall in love with him - I just don't know if I love him like that any more. Or i'm bored with the relationship. Or i'm just being 19 and wanting to be independent. | Have started to not enjoy time with boyfriend of 2 years, thinking I might be falling out of love/wanting to be independent |
t3_1mpjoo | relationships | My[26M] fiancée [24/f] made some comments about divorce that have left me feeling uncomfortable | We've been together almost 3 years. Recently we found out that my uncle is divorcing my aunt after 35+ years together. He went about it in a pretty terrible way - her served my aunt with divorce papers out of the blue and told her that he's been messing around with his secretary for a few months and she's moving in with him immediately. My aunt asked for counseling, he said no way.
My fiancée and I discussed how terrible this was for my aunt. She also expressed fear of our upcoming marriage due to this (she has a general fear of divorce and me leaving her) and I reassured her about everything. But then she told me if I ever did something like that she would ruin me and take me for all I'm worth - and definitely not in a joking manner.
Now, I consider what my uncle did to be pretty heinous so I can somewhat agree with that sentiment. But it makes me uncomfortable that she would say something like that - like do I have to walk on eggshells for the entire of marriage on the off chance I piss her off enough that she'll financially ruin me? I should note that she's still in school and while she does work and contribute what she can, my salary is more than likely going to always be greater than hers.
Am I making something out of nothing here? Or is this something I have the right to feel is unacceptable? | Aunt/Uncle divorcing after Uncle has been seeing another woman, prompted fiancée to say if I ever did that she'd financially ruin me. I feel that's unacceptable to say. |
t3_4bdnmb | relationships | Me [21 F] and my boyfriend [29 M] of 3 months, are having sex issues... | So I started seeing my boyfriend 3 months ago. We hit it off right away, and despite him being a bit older than me we are pretty compatible. He really is everything I could want in a guy. He listens, he is respectful, and I can tell he truly cares about my feelings. We do a lot of stuff together, and I love being around him... it's like the start to something really great.
He wanted to wait a month or two to have sex, which is fine. I'm not used to that with guys, but its actually quite refreshing. So a few weeks later we did it for the first time, and he couldn't stay hard. Like, we couldn't accomplish penetration because he couldn't stay hard... even after I went down on him. We just left it at that and stopped and continued watching the movie.
We have tried again numerous times, and he can't stay hard. In addition to this, it appears I have a higher sex drive than him. Whenever I initiate he can't get/stay erect and I think he loses confidence and stopped. He seems like he's embarrassed by this, and he even mentioned that he was afraid that this would make me leave him. It broke my heart when he said that.
Like I said, I really care about this guy, but I am getting pretty sexually frustrated due to these circumstances. We were in the midst of getting it on the other night, and he just didn't seem too interested. Out of frustration I was just like, "fuck me like you mean it!". He lost his boner completely and said he felt a weird pressure from me. Fuck. I'm really glad he communicated that with me. But you know when people say they have to "tip toe around someones feelings". That's how I feel with him and sex, it's like such a fragile situation.
I don't know what's going on Reddit. It seems like there might be something more to this, or maybe it's a medical issue. I just can't find the right words to talk to him about it. Every time I try to talk to him he just says he just gets nervous and dismisses it, seemingly out of embarrassment. | Boyfriend can't stay hard or loses his boner every time we have sex. How do I gently approach this situation? |
t3_350bym | relationships | [20f] Pushed my Boyfriend [20m] into Pool Jokingly, He's Irritated with Me | My boyfriend and I were at this pool at at a hotel, we were walking along the side of it and I pushed him in, I went in right after him to make sure nothing happened (he doesn't know how to swim) and now he's irritated with me. There was no one else around, so it's not that he's embarrassed or something, and I don't know why he's still upset with me. It happened about 3 hours ago. The pool was just a couple inches over his head and it's not like I would have let him drown or something, we were both in swimming attire so it's not like he was in clothes and they got ruined or his phone fell in or anything like that. How do I apologize to him exactly? I realize it was probably stupid to do but it was completely meant to be a joke, I said sorry but he seemed irritated with me still. We've been together for 1 year and 2 months btw. | I jokingly pushed my boyfriend into a pool, with noone else around, and I went in right after him. He's being pissy now. |
t3_l4epe | relationship_advice | I'm on the verge of breaking up with my GF, advice needed. | I'm male, we are both 18, have been together for 4,5 months. She's my second girlfriend, and first one that serious. We told each other 'I love you' about 3 months in and I think I seriously mean it, because I've never felt something like this for anyone before.
The problem is I don't really feel happy in this relationship. Everything is amazing but I think our emotional needs are very different. It's our last year in high school so there is a lot of work and preparation to finals. She says she doesn't have time to meet during week, but I definitely could find some free time just to see her and I have more classes than she does.
So, although we do chat through facebook almost every day, we meet only during weekends. But when we do, it's quite often with her friends. When I propose we hang out at my place or go somewhere with my friends she's usually either busy or already meeting someone else. We sometimes meet in my or hers place, just to watch some movie, sexy time or just talking and that's when I feel absolutely amazing with her, but recently more and more rarely.
I did brought up these issues with her and she said that, although she had more then 10 boyfriends, I am the one she is seeing the most. I tried to understand the way she sees relationships, not be clingy and calibrate to her needs, and, as I see it, I did fine, but there is some point where it's just not about being clingy and needy, but about emotional needs. I just do not feel fulfilled. Sometimes I don't really feel like calling her about doing something because I know she would say 'no'. And I think she would be fine with us meeting just once a week for a couple of hours.
I don't like the idea of breaking this relationship, but I feel like I did everything and still it does not seem like what I want from being with a girl. I could really use some help right now, because I don't know how to save what we both have. | GF has much lower emotional needs than me. It hurts me, and although I try not to be clingy, I can't help but feel miserable about it. |
t3_36bop5 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my SO[27 M] 9 months, I messed up again. Resigned to my fate? | So I have been with my SO for 9 months or so, we met just few weeks after i moved south from NewYork. I was in recovery at that time for drug abuse and PTSD. Time progresses and I struggle but finally may have a decent job lined up and have been feeling pretty good.
Now throughout the relationship our fights always stemmed from my behavior when i am intoxicated. I am very flirty and trust people entirely too much. After the last main fight he was mad at me for a week and I broke down and apologized and begged for another chance promising to try and change.
So then friday night happens, and i get hit on,. i introduce my SO since I'm trying to be fair to them and him. well we all start having a conversation and i walk over to touch my SO and he is mad said i was touching them too much. I suppose its entirely possible i touched their shoulder or something I honestly don't remember. I woke up with bruises.. but i probably fell or something. I cried when i woke up and then he asked me for some space.
This is my fault, i should not drink like that but I've said that before. It is my fault for hurting him again. I would love to be with him, but i feel he might dump me, and i don't blame him. He is smart and i keep fucking up.
But why am i not more upset, because he hasn't dumped me yet? because over the last couple months i already starting preparing myself that we might not be meant to be.. idk. I just feel that there is nothing i can say to help my case, hell I'm not even on my side. It sucks because i don't realize i have even done anything wrong till he tells me. I don't talk to guys behind his back and i would never cheat on him. In the end i really want him to be happy and I always eventually destroy everything around me and run away,.. i just want to be a better person. | I made promises that I did not keep and now i must lay in the bed i made. When apologizing just becomes redundant. |
t3_3gj544 | relationships | Me [24 M] can't get over thinking about my ex [22 F] of four years that cheated (sexting) me with less attractive guy and is dating him now | I have explained my situation here:
I have seen some of their sexts, and she has been a friend with him for maybe a year (but he is from Finland and we lived in Czech Republic so they never met IRL, so I was never really concerned) - they played some online games I showed her.
I do activities to keep me fit (cycling, running, hiking..), I have a Master's Degree in engineering and going to work at CERN, I was always nice to her, even when she was not to me. We were going to vacations, I did activities I did not like for her (like going to ball).
He [21 M] lives by his parents, is uneducated, unemployed and just plays online games all day. To top of that he looks like 15 year old child and is fatty (it is not only my opinion, sadly).
When ex were breaking up she told me that I did not care for her through days (I was working at my office on university and doing my thesis) and he was for her there to talk all day long (on online games). But we lived together so I was always there in the evenings and we were going out together regularly.
Now she is in Finland and they are surely together somewhere and she is fucking this ugly guy.
Just can't understand what she sees on him. Guys how I can get over this? My ego is crushed and I feel that even from side of personality, I was always nice to her.
I don't want to rush to another relationship just to fix my ego, it would be stupid and I don't want to hurt any girl. And I am not the type to go to bar to have random hookups. I really stand for long-term relationships, but have to fix myself before I can commit to another one and don't know how. | As in title. My ex cheated me (sexting) with a less attractive guy and my ego can't get over it. |
t3_2dt4f0 | relationships | I [22M] am in love with my best friend [21F] and didn't know. | Me and my friend have been really close for a long time. I never saw her in a sexualized manner until a few weeks ago. We were at a party, I was talking to another mutual friend and she got jealous and told me about it. We ended up kissing at the end of the night and one time the following week before we decided it was probably a bad idea to continue.
But now I have all these feelings that I've been trying to deny. My friendship with her is like the most important thing in my life and I don't want to lose that. What do?? | I'm in love with my bestfriend and didn't know until recently. I don't want anything to ruin our friendship. Pls help |
t3_4pqqix | relationships | I [28/F] didn't properly commit to my [29/M] bf of 9 months, we broke up bc I'm an idiot. I feel like my world is falling apart. | I was in an 8 year marriage that fell apart pretty amicably, and I entered into a new relationship pretty quickly. I was emotionally closed off, but the new guy was so patient and kind about everything. He's flawed, but I was very lucky.
And... I fucked it up.
He put up with my wishy washy bullshit, and I realized-- too late -- that I do want a long-term relationship with him. The whole nine yards. And now he's so hurt that he doesn't trust me when I say that's what I want. I can't blame him. I tried to pour my heart out to him but he's stubborn and hurt... He has asked for 8 weeks of radio silence to take time apart and hopefully focus on ourselves, but I am a mess. I am dealing with depression (actively getting help) and I didn't realize how much my depression and anxiety was influencing my fear of commitment.
I know I want him, and if there is even a sliver of hope, I'm hanging on to it. I'm trying my best to respect his boundaries, but in the meantime I miss my friend, my lover... the person who could make me feel so loved with a word or a look. I want to do the same for him, but I know it's too little, too late. I asked for so many chances, and I'm so scared that at the end of the 8 weeks (if I can even manage to make it that long without falling to pieces) he will have built me up to be this monster in his head.
How do I get through this? It sounds so silly, but... I am lost. I don't know how to go 8 days without saying hi, or giving him a hug. How can I go 8 weeks? I want to prove to him at the end of that time that I'm good. That I can be what he needs. I also need to get good with myself, FOR myself. Any advice would be appreciated. | My fear of commitment hurt the person I love, and I lost him. He has asked for 8 weeks of radio silence -- how do I fix things while respecting his needs/boundaries? |
t3_40bv6u | dogs | [Help] Boyfriend's dogs won't stop begging. | My boyfriend and I recently moved in together. I have a 35lb heeler mix, his are a 130lb mastiff mix and a 75lb retriever mix and overall they all get along and seem happy about having new playmates. This is sort of vent-y so let me say beforehand that I ADORE the bf's dogs. They have good temperaments and melt my heart with the sweet things they do.
The issue is that he has given his dogs table scraps since day one, and his dogs now beg endlessly. The mastiff/Dane mix is tall enough to rest his head on the table and leave puddles of drool behind. I can't cook without literally slipping in drool or tripping over one of them. Bf has wholeheartedly agreed to not giving them any more scraps, ignoring them while we eat, training them to stay out of the kitchen area, etc, but if he thinks I have food the mastiff will. Not. Leave. Me. Alone. Im currently sitting on the couch eating chocolate and he actually brought me several toys and placed them in my lap, whining, drooling, and staring at the food. I do the best I can to ignore them but it's hard when one weighs more than I do.
Sorry if this turned into a bit of a rant. It's extremely frustrating that I've worked with my dog since the day I got her to be polite and well behaved and these two are fiends when it comes to food. I also hate drool but have accepted that its unavoidable with these breeds and made the mastiff a bib. Bf doesn't have crates for his dogs, so it seems my only options are to put them in another room any time I want a snack, or to deal with the begging. What can I do besides wait out however long it takes for them to un-learn their bad habits? | Bf + dogs moved in. May starve to death as an alternative to drowning in drool. Dry socks are a thing of the past. |
t3_3g2xx8 | relationships | I [20 M] can't stop thinking about my ex [23 F] of 8 months | So, our relationship was amazing until she moved back home for the summer which began our LDR (First for both). As a result of this we had a few arguments and eventually ended with a semi-nasty break-up.
SHE asked if we could try and maintain some form of a friendship but this obviously isn't working for either of us and she has also hidden and/or blocked me on all social media which is a little confusing to me considering that she wanted the friendship in the first place.
I know that we definitely shouldn't and most likely wont get back together, but even though I know I should move on in life, I just cant stop checking my phone in hopes that she has sent me a message. I really, really miss her and she was my first serious relationship.
My main issue is that I'm stuck at home with nothing to do everyday until I return to University in around 1 months time. What can I do to stop myself thinking about her? | How can I stop myself thinking about my ex if there is nothing for me to do locally for at least a month? |
t3_o50qi | dating_advice | Help me reddit: What's my best option. | **HOPEFULLY THIS IS THE RIGHT SUBREDDIT THIS TIME**
Here's the story. Me 20m, her 19f. We're friends and what I would consider friendzoned. Why?
Met in late 2010, as class mates, I was attracted to her. Not too long after meeting her (a couple of weeks), I felt that I should say something (hopeless at anything to do with this), and I did. Needless to say the response wasn't what I wanted.
The problem? It wasn't a definite "no" technically. She said something along the lines of "maybe sometime in the future". Now admittedly, I asker her out cowardly over facebook after chickening out in real life. Now? We're both pretty good friends, and while I know saying "maybe" really means "no", that slight bit of (false)hope keeps me there. I'm still attracted to her even I know there isn't any real chemistry or anything. But for some reason, I still want to be near her, as she makes me smile.
Should I just be the best friend I can be, or should I approach her and more than likely push her away? She's said that she "doesn't want a relationship, with anyone", but the fact that she said "maybe" and that was it both annoys me and keeps me going. | like friend, asked out, got "maybe in future", it is now over a year and I still have feelings for her, despite all but knowing something wont happen and thus tries to block out feelings, what do? |
t3_1k8ele | relationships | How old is too old?? in regards to age difference... | So a little history about me. I am divorced, had a military marriage which alot of you may know, very rarely ends in a happily ever after. It ended just after a few months. I got married at 20 because I honestly wanted to settle down, but it didnt end as it should have.
Fast forward 2 years... I meet this wonderful man, Jim (38), and we have alot in common (surprisingly for his age & for mine). We both enjoy the same activities & we are both divorced, he has a kid a little younger than me living in Pennyslvania with his mom. We've been talking for a few weeks & he finally asked me out on an official date.
I know there is a HUGE age difference, but to me age is just a number. I look more into chemistry. I am also the type of person that likes to know what the plan is before any execution takes effect. Soooo if this date evolves into a few more & eventually a full on relationship.... I need to know what bumps in the road will be headed our way.
I've never had a "real" relationship because the ex husband was in Japan for the few months we were together. My parents (old skool mexican) won't be too pleased about this. My friends will try and talk me out of it, but eventually they will get used to it and will be there for me in the end.
For those of you who may think I am at the age where i need to "experiment" and "enjoy partying", I've had my fair share already. Since my divorce, ive bought my own car, have a full time job with my own place, and I am almost half way to recieving my masters in nursing. Ive partied along the way, and frankly with everything i have been through, i am now more than ever more focused on myself and my future. Most of all, i would like to have a partner to be there with me.... I just want to be prepared with the hits I will end up meeting in the future, hopefully from those who are in mine or his shoes.
Any advice or suggestions will be appreciated :) | Going out with someone 16 years older than me... need to know what will be coming my way in case this relationship takes off. |
t3_ygw7m | AskReddit | What is your most embarrassing internet story? | In the nineties when I was a teenager, we weren't blessed with the blistering fast internet speeds that we know and love today. Along with this and the absence of porn streaming sites like Redtube, porn feens were stuck waiting ages for grainy minute long porn videos to download. It wasn't all bad, as you could preview the clips prior to them completely downloading and get your fap underway. Anyway, one particular clip I remember was of John Holmes fucking a chick doggy with his foot long member. I remember previewing the clip and watching him thrust his forearm like cock into this chick's lower intestine. It was so hot and I was so turned on, I think I fapped twice before the clip had even finished downloading. After wallowing in my post orgasmic bliss after the second fap, I noticed the clip had finished downloading. Fuck it, I thought time for round three. Cock in hand, I clicked play and started to watch the clip from start to finish for the first time. Thinking back, the two times I had previewed the clip prior to it downloading I didn't actually remember seeing the chick's face; she was on her hands and knees and the video was a little grainy, so I remember only seeing her lower back and ass cheeks. Anyway, as the video progressed, I was treated with the unseen portion of the clip left out of the previews and became excited when the camera finally zoomed in on the chick's face for the first time, only thing is it wasn't a chicks face, but a dudes. I had just watched and wanked off to John Holmes roasting the ass of a male pornstar, twice.
If any of you have seen Jim Carey's character in Pet Detective after realising he'd kissed a man, my response was somewhat similar. For the lazy: | I, a non-gay man, twice wanked off to John Holmes fucking a guy without realising it thanks to dial-up internet. |
t3_1knhp2 | relationships | I [24/F] incorrectly accused my SO [26/M] of cheating and he's very upset with me. | Unfortunately due to someone elses miscommunication, I was informed that he was lying to me about where he spent Saturday night - he told me he was with his guy friends, but someone else heard differently and told me was with another girl.
The next day, I was quite angry and didn't believe him when he told me it wasn't true. He called his best friend who confirmed that he was with him.
My previous partner cheated on me quite a lot, so I have trust issues that I'm currently working on. He said he understood I was treated badly in the past, but he was rightly very upset and angry. He asked me to leave and "give him a few days". I'm scared that the space he's asked for, means that he'll leave me.
How long is a few days, when should I contact him if I haven't heard from him? It's been a day and a half and I'm type of person who wants everything to be fixed straight away - I hate waiting for resolution, so this is very hard for me!
We've only been together for about 4 months... Is this forgivable? | Incorrectly accused my SO of cheating, he's very upset and asked for "a few days", I'm scared that him wanting space means it's over. |
t3_1r0hyz | self | I think I might have screwed up my life a wee bit; need some perspective here. | I'm meant to be graduating at the end of this year with a BA in Psychology, but for some reason I didn't read the degree requirements properly and was unaware that we *have* to have a minor too.
I got all of my points in psychology, and none in any other area so now I can't graduate and I feel slightly miserable.
I had just finished out writing out my application for this JET (Japan English Teaching Exchange) programme, and was set on going, but you have to have a degree to even apply so looks like that's down the toilet.. I'd already gone to the trouble of getting all of my references to write me things and apply for internal transcripts and criminal record checks etc..
I have no idea where to go from here, as I do not want to return to university - and if I had to I'd do it extramurally so I can work full time because I have no money.
I've already written on lots of job applications that I have this degree, but I don't now.. and I feel so silly not double checking the requirements :( | Didnt check degree requirements properly, cant graduate, feel like a failure and that its kind of the end of the world :( |
t3_2jolmn | relationships | Me [21F] thinks I may have been sexually assaulted by my ex [25 M] and his friend whilst drunk | Looking for advice on how to handle a tricky situation.
Almost a year ago now I got drunk with a bunch of people my ex included and I remember him and his friend trying to coax me into a threesome (that I had made it clear that I didn't want) to the point where I ended up crying and asking them to leave me alone.
I really don't remember much of the night at all. I remember a friend kinda walked in on it happening and told them to leave me alone and put a blanket over me.
I never did anything about it as I had a very high opinion of the people involved but since the incident I've felt increasingly horrible about the whole thing.
I'm having weird flashbacks to the event and remembering the sense of panic I felt. It was probably more because I was so drunk and felt inadequately prepared to deal with the situation or convey my upset at being put into that situation but part of me believes this was a case of sexual assault.
I don't want to escalate the matter. He's a very good friend of mine and all our friends and family are interwoven. But I am thinking of going to a counselor to talk to somebody about it....
Has anybody got any advice? | think my ex may have sexually assaulted me with the aid of his friend. Having difficulty coping with the idea. Wot do? |
t3_4gmp0s | relationships | I [24f] had a huge falling out with a certain friend group [24-29m/f] but my boyfriend [28m] is still good friends with them. Need advice. | A little backstory: I met this group of people through a friend I used to work with and had been friends with them for about a year up until I met my ex-boyfriend. We dated for about five months (broke up twice) and when we broke up for good, he told everyone I had cheated on him (which I hadn't, he had actually cheated on me the entire time we were dating which I found out after we broke up).
Well pretty much that whole group of people believed him and ghosted me, which hurt my feelings because I considered these people good friends but apparently they could care less. So I cut them out of my life as best I could like they had me.
A short while later, I started dating my current boyfriend, who is also friends with this group of people. He knows what happened between them and I and tries to keep us separate, but he's in a band with a few of them and still talks to and hangs out with them regularly and I have to pretend to act friendly when I am at shows or we go to a party where they are. We recently moved in together and I told him I don't want them over when I'm home as it would be incredibly awkward for me. He agreed but I can tell it's starting to cause a rift between us.
I don't want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't want to be around those people and I know if we stay together I will only have to see them more. I feel bad that my boyfriend is in the middle of this weird falling out and I can tell he is starting to get annoyed with it, but I don't know what else to do. We have also talked about marriage and I definitely don't want those people at my wedding but I know they are the type of people that will get mad if they aren't invited and put my boyfriend in the middle of the drama even more.
So my question is: should I break up with my boyfriend or tough it out and be uncomfortable as long as we are together by having to see people that make me uncomfortable? | Had a huge falling out with a group of friends, current boyfriend is still good friends with them and it makes me uncomfortable. |
t3_17opnj | relationship_advice | [16/M] Girlfriend [16/F] Cheated on me with my good friend also 16, What do I do? | Dear great people of Reddit,
So after several weeks of momentary lapses and minor slip-ups, I finally had enough information to confirm my suspicions that my Girlfriend[16] and one of my good (or so I thought) friends[17] had cheated on me. After confronting her she initially denied it, but eventually admitted to inviting him over for a sleep over, and that several sexual acts were preformed by each of them while he stayed for the night. Apparently they hooked up three more times after this. She wouldn't say much more than this, but I put together much of the details myself. After I received her confession I walked home in a daze unsure who to talk to. This happened on a night where we had plans to go out, but she bailed on me saying she had to visit her grandmother in the hospital. As for my friend he had started dating a girl who he said he was In 'love' with, just a week before he slept over with my Girlfriend. Me and him were great friends, I bought him tickets to the sold out, farewell Alexisonfire concert in our town, and I didn't charge him a dime, we sat next to each other in ELA class for an entire semester without a single disagreement. The major thing that hurts me is that both of them had the nerve to hang around me for almost three weeks before telling me a single thing, and acting like everything was normal.
So now Dear Reddit, what should I do? My Girlfriend has called and texted me several times but I don't have the guts to reply. What should I say to her, should I dump her? Unless my girlfriend told my friend, I am unsure if he is aware I know of their infidelity, what should I say when I confront him? And should I tell his girlfriend about this? I want to tell her, but at the same time I would feel guilty if I was the reason they break up, does she deserve to know the truth, or should she stay blissfully ignorant? | Long time GF cheats on me with even longer friend, who also has a GF, help on what I should say, and to who. |
t3_2jndx8 | relationships | My parents have basically kicked me [M22] out because I expressed doubts over PhD topic | I'm a new law graduate and like most new law graduates, it is tough to find a job at the moment. One of the options that I have considered is doing a PhD. However, whilst it would be a great experience for 3 years, I am concerned that it has the potential to tie me down to an academic position.
I'm quite close to my parents and I have been asking them for advice on how to progress with my PhD application. My parents have pushed hard that I do a PhD. I have expressed concerns that my PhD will look me down to an academic career. This culminated in a debate with my mum last night on this point where I said that I was scared about that. Eventually my mum pointed out the benefits of doing a PhD and I agreed that I would commence with my application.
My mum rang me again this morning, to say that she wasn't interested in helping me with my application, that I had bled her dry for far too long and that I didn't have the interpersonal skills to get a law graduate job anyway. She's basically disowned me and said be independent (because in the past I have said that I wanted to be independent). I have told her that for whatever I have done now and in the past, I am truly sorry to have bled her dry. I don't think she wants to deal with me anymore. I feel incredibly guilty about what I have done. With no grad jobs available, I guess my only option is to continue with the PhD application. How do I get over my current emotional state? Any advice is gratefully appreciated. | Parents have disowned me/kicked me out over expressing doubts about PhD. How do I get over my current emotional state? |
t3_26r2hp | relationships | I [22F] am about to enter a LDR with my BF [24M] of over three years, and I'm looking for advice! | Hi there! First off, I want to say that I am a long-time lurker and I really love the people of this sub. The majority of you know how to give great (sometimes blunt) advice without being judgmental, and I'm happy to be posting here for advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three years, and have been living together for two of them. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship, and I love him more than anything. We just work together, y'know? We get each other. But yesterday we found out that his job is moving him to another state, which didn't completely blindside us, but is upsetting/exciting nonetheless. I cannot move with him due to my happiness with my job and situation here, but he doesn't want to turn down this fantastic opportunity, either (it's basically his dream job). So, after lots and lots of talking, we've decided to enter a long-distance relationship. Yay?
Basically, my question is this: what are some tips and tricks to LDRs? What are good ways to make sure we keep communication open, and what do we do when we get frustrated with the distance? Are movies via Skype a good option? Should we try and talk every day? Any and all advice appreciated!
**Except**, I do not want to hear about how it's a terrible idea and we should just break up. Please just don't. That is not what I'm asking for, and we're not going to budge on this. Please keep those opinions to yourselves. Any other helpful advice is awesome, though.
Thanks!! | My boyfriend of three years is moving to another state, so I'm looking for advice on long-distance relationships (that aren't DON'T DO IT!). |
t3_4oqv4d | relationships | I [21F] was emotionally abused by my Brother's [16M] Father (My Stepfather). He is now trying to get back into my life and won't take no for an answer. | Okay so this might seem kinda weird, but it's important to me and I'd appreciate serious answers.
When I was 4, my mum re-married. At first he seemed nice, but once my Mum got pregnant with my brother [now 16]. Once his 'own kid' entered the picture, I became nothing but a nuisance.
I spent years being turned from a 5 y/o who liked school, who was social and loving, to an anxious wreck who shook and cried if anyone so much as raised their voice.
My Mum went into a Mental Hospital when I was 7, for 10 weeks because of a severe incident (I'm not sharing, it's not my tale) and this Guy told me it was my fault, that I put my mother in the hospital.
They divorced when I was 13 and I told the courts that I never wanted to see him again. They agreed and he had no rights to me and I worked on healing.
My brother has now realised he's a complete badword and has moved out from his home and back in with our mother and has flatly told the man that he wants nothing more to do with him.
Since then, he's tried getting in touch with me. I've blocked him on FB after the first 2 messages, but he somehow got my number and has been calling me, and I'm terrified he'll figure out where I live.
I live alone and (partly because of what he did to me) suffer with mental health issues and I'm terrified of what might happen if he learns my address.
Anyone have any advice on how I can deal with this? | My emotionally abusive stepfather is repeatedly trying to contact me and won't stop even though I've blocked him & told him where to go. |
t3_m5k1p | AskReddit | I need help reinforcing a cardboard box for this weekend. | Alright, I'll try to make this quick:
I'm going camping from this Friday through Sunday. Since the trip's purpose is to raise money for the homeless (it's for Bob's sleep out), we will be sleeping in cardboard boxes (like a Big Boss). I live and will be camping in Minnesota, and there's a very good chance that it will snow over the weekend.
Last year on the camp out I had two large boxes put inside of one another to make a space just big enough for myself. I didn't take precaution against the snow, and the first night it snowed about 6 inches. The snow was so dense that it destroyed my box, collapsing it to the point where I barely fit in anymore and it was very uncomfortable.
I'm no architectural engineer, and I can't think of any good ideas of how to reinforce my box to protect it from the heavy snow. We are allowed to get boxes beforehand and modify them, so what are your ideas of how to do this? Pictures/sketches/specific ideas would be better than greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance!
*Congrats if you got the MGS reference! | I'm sleeping in a box this weekend and I need ideas of how to make it suitable for heavy amount of snow (collapse-proofing?). |
t3_1wwyh8 | relationships | My[22F] boyfriend [22M] have put me in a guilty position where whatever I say is a lie. | We have been dating for over a year. In the past, I have dated two guys before him and there are things I lied to him about because I was afraid he would get mad.
Recently, I finally broke down, and told him everything and about all of my lies regarding my sexual relationships with my last one. There are things I am not proud of while I was with my ex, and I chose to leave it behind. My SO is the type of person to dig every little details up in regarding to my last one. I told him everything that he wants to know but still have trouble believing me and thinks I'm lying about every bit of it.
I don't know what to do because if this keeps up, our relationship might not make it. I need some advice please! | I've been telling the truth but my SO still thinks I'm lying. Don't know what to do from here. |
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