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t3_29r76q | relationships | Me [17 M] with my ex girlfriend [17 F] 2 years, broke up because I'm a fuck-up. | We were best friends for 4 years. She dated the wrong guy for 2 years, and I guess I replaced him. Long distance always, never-met. HAd plans for the future, each other's first loves, we meant everything to each other.
Well, we tried 13 times. Sadly we didn't work out because of my own fucking problems, and I'm so pissed I can't stop screaming at myself for ruining the best thing I had happen to me. I know this is dramatic but I've self-harmed a lot, I'm angry and I just want to fuck and drink until I've moved on but... it hurts to imagine me or her with someone else.
We broke up cause I never listened to her. I never took no for an answer basically, I was clingy and jealous and possesive and insecure. I've screwed up every relationship I've had, and I don't see the point in having another. We aren't going no-contact, we're still friends. Just not speaking for a couple weeks. She said maybe we could try again in a year or two, and I guess I'd love to. But I won't wait up. She can fuck whoever she wants and I can do whatever I want, I can be bitter and I can be angry.
The thing I'm most upset about is that I had the perfect girl, and I screwed it all up. She said to me had I learnt my lesson a long time ago we could have been in a much better place. I regret this, I regret never listening. I've been having anxiety and panic attacks, and I will always love her, even if she won't. I know she misses me, and I miss her but she's adamant on breaking out of this cycle.
I've tried everything I can to get her back but, I'm afraid this really is the end. What should I do? How can I move on? I don't wanna be pathetic like she thinks I'm being. I just can't get over the sweet girl being with someone else, and I wish life had a reset button so I could do it all again. I'm a fucking screw up. | Hate myself for fucking things up. Broke up with first girl I loved due to my own issues, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_2mjfih | relationships | Me [25 M] with my co-worker [29 F] of three months, she has recently become very flirtatious but we are both married. | I recently landed my first proper job in my field, meaning my wife and I moved a couple of hours away from family and friends. Apart from my awesome, supportive wife still being bored (and a little lonely) while looking for a job, everything has been going really well so far. I'm part of a small team (five people in our office, split between two rooms) and I get along really well with everyone, which I'm stoked about.
Recently however I have noticed one of my co-workers has become what I consider overly affectionate with me. We have spent a little bit of time talking somewhat personally about her family life (nothing about her marriage, just life with young kids, but still things that she hasn't told other people in the office) and just generally enjoy chatting and laughing during work. Now she will drop in to talk to me a couple of times throughout the day, and she seems to always find a reason to make physical contact with me.
It's just seemingly innocuous things like a hand on the shoulder (if I'm sitting), a poke, random things like that. But it's all new behaviour and I don't see her doing it with any of the other male employees. For example, today she threw a screwed-up ball of paper at me for no reason while walking past.
When I write it down it feels like I'm making something out of nothing haha so I don't want to mention it to anyone in case I'm just being a conceited idiot, but what do you guys think? Does this sound like something I need to look out for, or mention to my wife? I don't want to give my co-worker the wrong impression but I also don't want to screw up a good working relationship over nothing. Should I just consider myself lucky to have landed a sweet job with fun colleagues? | One of my co-workers has recently (over the last two to three weeks) become more affectionate and even, in my eyes, flirty and I don't know what to do about it, if anything. |
t3_1otwx7 | offmychest | I got a shiner. (25 F) | Not to sure if shiner is Canadian slang or not but basically I have a black eye. It's been almost a week since i've gotten it and it's still pretty bad. I got a huge gash going down the side and all around my eye is a ugly red purple color. Now I'm sure you must be wondering where I got it and I got it from a friend who's really close to me. Anyways that's beside the point I don't want to go into details. Now what's bothering me is what my mom said to me about it. She said "You actually look really cute".....i'm not sure how to take that information we kind of laughed it off because what else are you suppose to do? Anyways I've been wearing sunglasses all the time recently because I hate the pitying look people give me...but I asked a friend of mine about it and he said it does make me look cute because it makes me look vulnerable....does this strike you as odd too? Or is it just me? | Got a black eye and apparently it makes me look cute....does this information bother you as much as it bothers me? |
t3_3f65wl | relationships | My (24 f) boyfriend (26) and I are traveling together soon but he's been in an awful mood all week and is making little effort to talk to me. Please help. | Hey Reddit, I need some assistance with my bf's (27) extremely rude behaviour.
My bf is overanalytical and argumentative. The behaviours that come with these traits are really starting to wear on me. We have a trip planned for the month of August, and I'm trying to plan all of our excursions. I'm visiting family for the week so have to communicate with my bf over the phone/online. I've sent him links for different activities and have asked him for his input so that I can make reservations.
All week he's been exceptionally rude. Takes 12 hours to even acknowledge my messages or say hello, gives me no indication of when he can discuss the trip unless I ask, and is otherwise snippy and curt when we speak. He attributes this to his stress and workload, which he is trying to get under control before we go away, I guess.
This morning I didn't hear from him despite having asked him to review some stuff on our itinerary last night and he was incredibly short with me. I asked him if he even wants to take the trip anymore and to explain why he's taking so long to get back to me, or at lead send me a text to say he will look at our plans later in the day. When I asked he basically freaked out at me telling me he does want to go and to stop asking, and that he was avoiding talking to me because he didn't want us to get in a fight (we had an argument two days prior about his tone and shitty attitude). Then he goes ranting about how busy he is, drawing implicit comparisons between his schedule and mine.
I'm unimpressed by his disrespectful attitude to say the least. I was just trying to make the trip a success and now I'm dreading it. I've put a ton of money and resources into this trip and don't want to cancel it; how can I survive a three week vacation with someone who doesn't seem like he even wants to come? | bf won't help me confirm plans for an upcoming trip and has been in a horrible mood with me all week. How do I survive travelling with him? Don't want to miss my trip. |
t3_14a8ow | dating_advice | Can I un-invite my date? | Me 32/M, her 37/F. Dating for the past 4 months from which I originally though we were just having fun, which then turned into a relationship. In the past month or so she hasn't really shown much love or reciprocated any feelings, until the week before I leave for Thanksgiving and she is all over me. Now that I'm back it's the same lack of emotion and love. Before I left I invited her to my big fancy company holiday party and now I completely regret it. I'd much rather take someone thats going to enjoy it and that I'll have fun with. | invited the girl I've been dating (whom is now a debby downer) to a fancy dinner party and I want to take someone else now. |
t3_1g2dho | relationships | Me[25F] broke up with my boyfriend [29M]of 13 months, because he went through my cell phone, for the second or third time. Am I out of line and over reacting? | My boyfriend went behind my back into my cell phone and read various text messages and conversations. I have nothing to hide and I would openly tell him messages or convos I had with friends from time to time, but this is a huge invasion of my privacy and personal space. This is the second time I know of that he has done it. The first time almost caused us to break up and I made it clear how much my personal stuff and privacy is important to me. He swore he wouldn't do it again, I trusted and believed him, and 7-8 months later he did it again. Is this a normal thing for boyfriend/girlfriends to do? Am I out of line for ending the relationship over this? | I ended a one year relationship with a guy I love and care about because he went through my texts and conversations behind my back. Am I over reacting? |
t3_jmz7h | cats | How long can cat fleas live after the cat is put down? | My roommate cant stand my next door neighbor (also my good friend) who recently put her cat down. The cat was almost never in our house, and definitely never in his room. The poor thing got really sick and had to be put down at a young age (cancer) and this was over 3weeks ago. Recently something has bitten my roommate and he decided to blame it on my neighbor's now dead cat. I told him she used frontline regularly and she has had no problem. I also pointed out that I havent had any problems and the cat did spend time in my room. I asked him to prove it's really a flea, he then and only then (and I think he made this up) claimed that he caught a flea, trapped it, and used a magnifying glass to look at it. then looked them up on the internet and is sure it's a cat flea. Furthermore, he claims that the reason I havent had any problems is that I have AC installed in my room and it's too cold for them, while his room is not. I call bullshit, but I need expert opinions. I live in SoCal, the AC isnt THAT cold. The neighbor has never had flea problems when the cat was alive or not, and she also has no AC. Help me put the final nail in his stupid theory's coffin. | Roommate making up shit about being bitten by fleas from a cat that is now dead and has been for almost a month. He doesnt like the cat owner. |
t3_15m2tq | relationships | Best girlfriend I could ever ask for; traditional Vietnamese parents trying to take it all away. Help? | I'll try and keep it short for you.
Basically, I (18) and my girlfriend (also 18) have been together for over a year. We're in our first year of college, albeit 360 miles and 6 hours driving distance away. We've made a long-distance relationship (LDR) work—trust me on that one.
It's basically been the best time we could have ever asked for.
Her parents, of traditional Vietnamese culture and upbringing, are understandably strict and not as progressive as most American households are. The Asian parent stereotype of demanding good grades to lead to a well-paying job is, unfortunately, often *not* a stereotype.
So even though she has pulled great grades in her first quarter of college, her parents simply cannot stand the idea of her having a boyfriend: it can hamper her ability to study, it can distract her, it is ultimately harmful. They have always felt this way, but just tonight, they pulled her aside, sat her down, and told her to break up with me, once and for all.
They've met me, although I suppose reluctantly. They mentioned I'm "not that special," yet they also contradictorily say, "Nothing against him" (I'm roughly translating their Vietnamese into English).
I don't necessarily need to bore you and flesh out all the details here. All I can say is that even though I know that my SO and I are young, even though statistically our relationship apparently shouldn't work, even though the odds seem overwhelmingly stacked against us...I just don't think it's right that any relationship should end like this—especially since we are adults by law.
With all that said, I have one question in addition to a request for advice: *Is anyone here able to translate English into Vietnamese?*
I have an idea, and it's far-fetched, but really, is there anything to lose at this point? I want to write a letter—a very calm one—to her parents, and RESPECTFULLY and CAREFULLY tell them a bit from my perspective. No barbs, no insults—just a letter that just might change their mind. | Have girlfriend worth fighting for. Her Vietnamese parents want best for her, decree us to split. I need a friendly Redditor who can translate my English letter into Vietnamese. |
t3_18po6q | college | Campus Business | Hello /r/college--
I'm actually a high school senior, but live in a boarding school and know which college I'll be going to in the fall.
My college financial aid package sucks by comparison to the one that I am getting now, and I'm trying to think of ways to help my mother pay for college. I am already getting a work study next year, but want to be able to start saving money now.
What can I offer/ sell to about 400 students in my current residence that will make me a small profit of about 1-2 thousand dollars within the next 3 months? Students here love food, and have limited access to the resources of the outside world, so do any of you have any ideas? | Trying to help my single mother pay for college, need ideas of what to sell to 14-18 year old high school students to make money. Nothing illegal. |
t3_1j8sth | AskReddit | How have you dealt with an unprofessional instructor/professor that seems to have it out for you? | I am currently enrolled in summer classes and I am having one hell of a time with my Intro to Programming instructor.(c++) I missed the first week of classes(yes this was bad as it's only a 10 week program) due to being out of town at the graduation of my youngest brother who lives in another state. Ever since then it has been an uphill battle and I seem to be losing. I struggled big time at first, programming is hard! However I have worked my butt off and feel everything I have turned in since then has progressively got better and better. I get marked off for things I have done and I can tell that she isn't even trying to grade me fairly. For my final project we were to design a program that takes orders for sandwiches, side items and drinks of a user. The programming is spot on. I even spent time working on it with an electrical engineer friend of mine that programs for a living, we went over it together for 2 HOURS! He opened my eyes to so many things so regardless of what I get I know the material now better than ever. So in some fucked up way, not intentionally I might add, she has helped me more than she knows. In any case when it was graded, I got marked off for not thanking the customer at the end of the program and not letting the user order as many sandwiches/sides/drinks as they wanted. Worst part, I did thank the customer and you CAN order as many sandwiches as you want. I honestly have no idea what to do. I feel like I am just destined to not get an A here. I have searched my school for resources about reporting something like this and there doesn't seem to be anything online. I'm sorry for the rant it made me feel a little better even if no one reads this. To my question: Have any of you dealt with a similar situation and how did you fix it? Do you have any advice on what I should do? I'm so tempted to let her have it but I know it's probably a bad idea. HELP! | Teacher treats me like I am an idiot. Grades unfairly seemingly on purpose. Don't know where to go or who to tell. Any advice? |
t3_29ilpa | relationships | Dating a girl for a short period of time, rocky start to our relationship, sleep with someone while she's out of town. | Let's preface this throwaway account post with I (28/m), I've been seeing a girl (24/f) for about three months now. I can't necessarily say that our relationship has ran the smoothest of courses. I started out really liking this girl. She's smart, we have great sex and she's very fun to hang around. About a month and a half ago, we had a conversation about not seeing other people, and agreed that neither of us would. (She's currently out of town, and has been for a few weeks.) However, a few days before she left, in a drunken stupor she kisses some guy in front of me. That action really took me aback, and sort of took the wind out of my sails. I decided to forgive her, then she flies off for what will amount to about a month.
A couple of days ago, I was walking about town with a buddy, and ran into a cute girl that I'm friends with. We all agree to grab some drinks before he has to go to work. We end up drinking for a few hours, and he goes off to work, leaving the two of us behind. Said girl ends up at my apartment and we had sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out how to address the scenario. I selfishly feel like I allowed myself to get into this situation because she kissed another guy, right in front of me. This sort of allowed me to say "fuck it," lower my inhibitions, and sleep with someone else. I enjoy the company of the original girl I am dating, and am considering not telling her what happened. This is the first time I've ever hooked up with someone other than the person I'm dating. I've read from other similar posts mixed responses; some people say carry this to the grave, some people say tell her and let her make the decision. What sort of opinions do you have?
I've never done anything like this before, and never thought I would. I don't want to do anything like this again, it's a pretty shitty feeling. | I'm dating a girl, had a rocky start, and slept with someone while she was out of town. Debating whether telling her or not. |
t3_3t28i5 | relationships | I [33m] think I am in love with another women [27f] but am currently in a relationship with a [30f] for the past 10 months | This has never happened to me before and I am not the cheating type, I do love my current girlfriend and enjoy all my time with her.
We live together although in my opinion we moved in together too fast(after 3 months) and this has caused lots of issues for me since I moved into her house which is right next door to help parents who are always around.
Don't really feel at home. But the fact remains is I do love her and am willing to try to get past all this.
I started a new job about 4 months ago and got to know the people, the girl I am talking about works with me there and we talk a lot during smoke breaks and lunch breaks, I am not a very sociable person, usually shy but with her I can talk for hours, we have so much in common.
Lately I have been only able to think about her, her eyes, her hair, the little looks she gives me , the way she walks and talks, I just can't get her off my mind. I got invited to a little after work get together with some people, and she asked me to go to her place afterward for a drink and hang out to play guitar, i am a musician and she loves the guitar.
So basically I have no idea what to do we text once in a while but not about anything romantic or sexual
I want to forget about it and just continue on with my life but I can't. It's more powerful than me.
I don't know what to do? | I [33m] think I am in love with another women, but am currently in a relation ship , don't want to hurt anyone but don't know what to do. |
t3_2j6iis | relationships | Should I [25F] date a guy [24M] who's 4" shorter? | I'm 6'2'' (eek! I know), he's ~5'10'', though I haven't asked exactly how tall he is. He's extremely intelligent, Ivy league education, well-paid, ambitious, responsible, funny, treats me well, and thinks I'm gorgeous. He's kind of nerdy, but I can deal with it.
The only thing that's holding me back is his height. I feel huge next to him. I'm not worried about sex (that's where height matters the least). I feel like I'd feel awkward holding hands with him in public. I'd feel like he was my son. Hugging might also be tricky.
I'm usually really into big, strong men. I would be more attracted to him if he could grow 4 inches, or put on 40 pounds of muscle, or both. Otherwise, he's great. | Should I not date a guy simply because he's 4" shorter? Or be the bigger woman (no choice) and get over (height pun) it? |
t3_18vdf1 | relationship_advice | [18/m] Talked to my (17/f) ex after a 6 months and I don't know what to think anymore | Just like what the title says, 6 months ago, my girlfriend and I had to break up due to her parents and their religious beliefs. (They're Mormon) Apparently, she wasn't allowed to be so exclusive with a guy when she was still in high school. It was a rough break up because it was the normal, we're through type deal. It composed of mostly her just ignoring me and saying she needed space/time. It broke my heart because she literally meant the world to me. 2 months later, she started dating another guy. Pretty sketchy, right? Well 4 months later, I couldnt stand to see her name on any social network and i unfriend/unfollowed her on everything. Later that day, she starts to request me on everything and this is weird because we havent talked since that break up. I was annoyed by it and finally just sent a message through facebook to leave me alone. She didnt think she was doing anything wrong and that she didnt think I would still be mad over the break up. I told her that the only reason why im mad is because she kinda screw me over. She told me that she didnt and that the only reason why she dated that guy was because she felt bad for him and she wanted to be happy. Turns out that she wasnt happy and the only thing that made her happy was the memories we had together. I asked if we could meet up somewhere to maybe talk. She said it wouldnt be a good idea and this is where i'm stuck. I dont really know what to do or if i should say what i feel or anything. A part of me wants to go see her again but then a part of me doesnt because everything that happened in the past. Any advice would be helpful. | talked to my ex, she sounded like she misses the relationship we had but it is unclear, I dont know what to do or say |
t3_f8es8 | offmychest | Fucking Kindles and E-books. (Stupid rant, don't even look at it.) | A friend got a Kindle and was showing it to me.
"I have like a bajillion magazines and books on here! OMG! It's so cool, bet you wish you had one."
That's cool, I can understand the desire to bring with you a bunch of different magazines and stuff. I'm personally a one-book kinda girl. Buy the book, read the book, give the book to someone else. Some people are not like that and I understand but then she goes: "The slogan is completely right. Buy once, read everywhere. And it's got the non-glare thing like in the commercial. So cool."
Me: "*Friend*, these are things you can do with a fucking book. You have a lot of those at home."
Friend: "KillyKhan, don't be jealous. These e-books are helping the environment. Paper books are so wasteful! Gotta get with the times, yo."
Yeah, I bought a book once. I read it everywhere. I paid about $20 for the hardcover (cause I'm a big spender) and when I read it in the sun or in harsh light... it was actually a lot easier to read. After I was finished, I gave it to my bf/the Goodwill/a friend/etc. Crazy, huh? | Kindles seem completely ridiculous, but I find that everyone around me is starting to want/buy one and then insinuating that I am an old fashioned biddy for reading words on paper. |
t3_542nvu | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Ex [20 F] of a year, broke up a while back, then she cheated on her new guy with me. | Basically, when we broke up, I had taken it really badly. I was depressed and all that, and I slowly started recovering from it. 3 Weeks later she tells me shes dating someone else, and the pain all comes back. She asks if I was okay, and wanted to check up on me. She comes over and shows me all her pictures and tells me she loves him and hurts me some more, but we ended up having sex twice, and she says she cant cheat on him and that she still loves me. But at the end of the day shes still with him. I break down that night after she leaves then she calls again the next day because she heard from my roommate what happened. She invites me for food to talk it through and we end up at her place again. I guess i've come to realise that even if we get back together, She could cheat on me, and I think ive become numb from all the hurt. But i feel miserable and have a bad conscience for her new boyfriend. What do i do? | Broke up, Depressed, Got better, ex GF has new BF, Depressed again, she comes over, has sex 3 times, Im left confused. |
t3_orj1p | BreakUps | How do I fix my mistakes? | My (ex)boyfriend (I'm 16 he's 18) were together for more than a year and a half and I broke up in november because I, for some reason, was having thoughts that this relationship was not exactly right. We had a lot of fun together, barely fought, just a fun relationship until my annoying feelings got in the way. So I broke up with him. It was the hardest thing I've done but I knew I had to do it.
I wanted to continue being friends with him and it was hard not talking to him so I texted him every night and said good night. Well we started talking more again and he asked me to go to get food and hang out after. So we did and we had a lot of fun and at the end of the night we kissed. (Let me just tell you he's the nicest guy I know. He's very respectful and funny and a great person overall). At first I thought it was good. And I wanted to get back together.
But then I felt those feelings again. And so I had to break up with him for real. So I did it. And we didn't talk for weeks. I saw him at his work and we walked around the store having casual conversation for like 30 mins and that was it. And it was nice. He texted me yesterday and told me he's been feeling happier! And he wants to talk to me in person about it. By the end of the conversation we were just mad and frusturated. We were supposed to meet up today but it snowed. He texted me today and asked, "do you even like me more than a friend anymore? At all?" And I said "yes. I do. But I just really don't want to be in a relationship. I just want to try to be friends." He said "okay" and we haven't talked since.
I've made so many mistakes and I don't know what to do. Do I text him and tell him I'm sorry? Or ignore him? I feel like I've ruined his life and our friendship. I want to be friends but I don't know how to fix my mistakes. | I broke up with my great boyfriend, then lead him on, then broke up with him again. I still want to be friends. How can I fix my mistakes? |
t3_420nv5 | relationships | My [28M] GF's [25F] parents are causing our relationship issues | Background: I'm a Korean American and have a relatively respectable job. My girlfriend is Chinese American, the younger of two daughters, and a student in med school. We've been happily dating for close to two years now. Everything between us is great; we love each other and have talked about marriage, kids, and the future.
Her parents are that type of asian parents that want their child to be super successful (rich, doctor, lawyer) and marrying within the same ethnicity. I have a respectable job in the finance industry, but apparently it isn't successful enough for their soon to be doctor daughter. They've also been openly against the fact that I am not Chinese. I have been nothing but respectful of her, their culture, and her parents around them. Even so, they keep comparing me to her more successful Chinese classmates and have even urged her to date more suitable guys they've found.
She is conflicted because she is extremely loyal to her parents and has done everything they've ever wanted of her. For example, waiting until marriage for sex was one of her parents' rules and she had abided by it until me. But even after the fact, she was conflicted by this rule by keeping it a secret from them and so we have stopped recently so it wouldn't seem like a constant breaking of their wishes which caused her noticeable stress. She is so willing to please her parents that she is entertaining their idea to meet the other guys.
She has also been worrying about the future and I suspect it stems from her parental anxiety issues. She worries that if she takes time off work to be with our hypothetical kids, we would not be financially stable, even though there has never been a cause for doubt that I could not provide for her. She also worries that our love and happiness will fade after marriage. I constantly reassure her that I will do all I can to provide for and to love her and our potential family. I show my love at every chance I get.
But recently, her parents' lack of support and her never ending worries have gotten to both of us, stress for her, for me, it seems like a lost cause. I love her and want her to be happy. I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend's parents don't approve of me not being a doctor, lawyer, rich, nor Chinese. Causing stress and worry for her and our relationship. |
t3_4kfo16 | needadvice | How to deal with someone who doesn't understand the word "no"? | Before I begin I want to make clear that this has nothing to do with relationships.
So, I met this guy at uni a few years ago, we were classmates, we did homework together and everything and we kind of became friends.
He doesn't have many friends, is kind of a weirdo, doesn't know how to respect personal space, I know because I have watched him deal with the girls from another faculty and I understand why they don't want anything with him. I think he has some psychological problems but I haven't asked him because I think is inappropriate.
Now, I don't hate him and used to like talking shit with him and everything, but the problem is that he lives near my house, like 800mts away from it, so he walks to my house and shows up when he wants and I hate that, I have told him to stop coming without calling him and he doesn't understand.
I don't know how to deal with him, we used to have a nice friendship but every time he shows up he just makes me hate him more and more and I'll probably will end hating him so much that I would like to never see his face again. | My friend keeps showing up to my house without calling before hand. Doesn't understand that sometimes I have stuff to do and have no time to attend him. |
t3_1oe9m6 | relationship_advice | I [21/m] am having troubles progressing in a relationship with my best friend [20/f] | We became friends a little over a year ago, and best friends shortly after. I was in a falling serious relationship at the time, and she was the friend to always be there for me. It's been about 2 months since the breakup, and I am ready to move on. We've been hanging out a lot of the time; texting, snapchatting when away doing other things. I've taken her out to eat, and I recently took her to a movie.
Now here comes the roadblock... She's never really been in a serious relationship and is one of those girls who would typically "run away" if someone started to get to close to her. (she even expressed some stories of it). I think it's definitely something positive if I've been able to take her out on a date or two.
Why I'm hesitant: I've only been in one serious relationship (age 17-21). I'm not really sure how to move past the cuddle and watch a movie stage without having her run away. I'm willing to be patient to help her be comfortable, but I just feel like it needs a little push. Any suggestions? | I (21m) want to progress further than "close friends" with my super hesitant best friend (20f) |
t3_3obz6f | relationship_advice | I [23/m] don't know where to take my relationship with a friend [22/f] | About a month ago, a friend of mine from college (24/f) (let's call her Jennifer) introduced me to her friend from work (22/f) (let's call her Stacy). We all hung out quite a bit in the last month. Recently on two occasions, when we planned to hang out, Jennifer decided that she didn't want to go. To my surprise, Stacy wasn't even fazed by this, and was okay with hanging out with me alone. She would say things in our group chat like "I guess we'll just have to have fun without Jennifer, haha."
Yesterday, Stacy and I hung out all day long, doing various things around the city. Eventually we decided to end the day at my place watching movies and having a great time. We have almost equivalent humor levels which I've never seen in a girl. I didn't try anything because Stacy is Christian, but is it safe to assume that if a girl will give you so much of her time, she is at least a little interested in you?
She indirectly stated last night that she would like to hang out at my place more often, but I don't know if she just wants a friend to hang out with in the city, or if she's looking for more. Whenever we get invited out by other mutual friends, she gets excited, but the moment I say I can't go, she says that she doesn't feel comfortable going alone, and cancels. Additionally, she has never turned down anything I suggested in terms of hangout plans.
I have never understood women my entire life, so I don't want to make assumptions based on my weak understanding, which is why I'm asking reddit.
Should I take a risk and ask her out on a direct 1 on 1 date instead of the "no one else is going, so we are the only ones left" scenario? | Friend I've known for one month spends many hours hanging out with me alone, but I don't know for sure if she would be interested in pursuing a relationship. |
t3_38ikm8 | relationships | My [21 F] left two days ago for a festival weekend. Me [25 M] miss her like crazy - how do you keep yourself busy? | Hey guys,
I've been together with my girlfriend for 6 month now. She moved in end of January. Everything is awesome. Two days ago she left for a festival weekend, returning Monday afternoon. Due to camping, she took a throwaway phone with her, so contact is very limited.
I know, we are still very fresh and crazy in love, but I miss her very much (especially being home alone). That's why I try to keep me busy / distracted with work, friends and Civilization V.
I know, this might be off topic and not a crazy relationship issue, but I was wondering, how you guys keep yourself busy, when your SO is away for awhile (I know in my case its only a week)? | Girlfriend is away for a week, I know, not a big deal, but was wondering how you keep yourself busy when your SO is away. |
t3_2fapxe | relationships | Me [23 M] with my 23 [F] of two years, she doesn't show me off and actually kind of "hides" me | So I've been in a relationship for over two years now and not once has my girlfriend I guess "shown me off" on a social media website. Now it's not that important for me, but not once has she ever posted a picture of us two together. We don't have the relationship status thing on facebook, no pictures of me on her instagram (about a million of herself and her dog), or any other website. Now, it wouldn't necessarily be very important to me, but I have caught her talking to other guys as if she had no boyfriend. And all I want is for her to show me off a little bit. I have talked to her about this multiple times but still nothing. I just want these other guys to know that she is mine and not for the taking.
So reddit, how important for you is it to show off your SO? I'd also like to add I do post pictures of her or post pictures of flowers that I got her etc etc... | GF doesn't really show me off, not that its a big deal to me but it has been two years and we don't even have a picture together online.....so I guess maybe it is a big deal to me. |
t3_lupdw | AskReddit | Parents of Reddit, my daughter was born not breathing | Throwaway account for reasons that will be obvious below.
Last year I went to the hospital to deliver my third child. Pregnancy was uneventful, we had fantastic medical care, it was what you would call a good pregnancy. I can't go into a lot of details about what happened because of a pending legal action. When she was born she was not breathing, heart was stopped, she had to be resuscitated. She was in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care for several weeks. During that time she had massive organ failure and they detected brain damage in several parts of her brain. The diagnosis that we got was Hypoxic-Ischemic Encephalopathy.
She takes medication daily for a myriad of problems, is getting the best care possible from teams of doctors, but requires 24-7 care. This one event has crushed my marriage (not divorced, husband is a great guy but we are exhausted and fighting all the time), sent my other kids into therapy, and destroyed what life that i had. I would not for a moment say that she wasn't worth it, though. She is an angel and is fighting so hard.
The reason why I am posting is: are there other Reddit parents out there that have gone through something similar? How have you dealt with all of the doctor visits, uncertainty, developmental delays, keeping it together when you KNOW that this shouldn't have happened? Before you ask, there are several circumstances that I can not share due to the pending legal case, you will just have to believe me when I say that this was 100% preventable. | my daughter was born not breathing, without a pulse, and it is apparent that the hospital screwed up. Have any other redditors gone through something like this? |
t3_2l9za1 | relationships | Me 23 M with my 23 GF of 13 months just left me. I don't get it. | So, last night after a fight over the weekend my girlfriend left me. Started with me not tagging her in an instagram photo and then blew up to being told she just has never trusted me in our relationship. I have never cheated, nor would ever (I moved from Iowa to Chicago to stay with her).
Anyways, after trying to get her to work with me on our relationship and communication she just told me it flat out wasn't worth it and we needed to break up. I understood and went for the clean, amicable break. We agreed on a clean break, no communication.
This morning I woke up to a long text about how great I am and how sorry she is that we weren't able to work out. That she'll miss me and whatever. I thanked her, told her I was sorry, and again left it. However, she texted me later asking me to help her with something and when I said I might be able to she texted me with a "<3 Thanks".
Is she regretting this? Or am I being stupid and allowing myself to be led on. | Girlfriend breaks up with me, agree on a clean, emotional break up. All of a sudden texts me a bunch after we agreed to cut ties. I don't get it. Help. |
t3_tfvlx | AskReddit | I was given this test and failed | When I was seventeen and in the Delayed Entry Program of the US Marine Corps, I was given a test. Two others and myself were given a five-gallon fuel can, two eight-foot 4x4 timbers and on five-foot 4x4. We were led to a wall in which there was a doorway. The doorway, upon opening, led to an incomplete bridge over a ditch. Our mission, we were told, was to get the can and ourselves over the ten-foot gap in the bridge using nothing but the timbers. I consulted with my comrades and we determined that there was no possibility of doing so with the materials provided. We informed the trainer of our decision and went on to the next test. I never thought about this again for over eighteen years.
Recently though a friend of mine was reading a book about US Special Forces training where the author detailed a similar problem but with a 55-gallon fuel drum. He asked me about it. After several weeks of research and thought I am no more enlightened that I was eighteen years ago. Is there a solution to this problem? | How do you get three people and a heavy object over a ten-foot wide gap using only three timbers: two 8ft, and one 5ft 4x4s? |
t3_556i5x | relationships | Will I [18/M] ruin my relationship [19/F]? | Hello guys. Since I'm not fluent in English, I apologize for the errors.
Me and my friend were acquaintances before really having a conversation. She and her family are friends with my uncles, sometimes my uncle and my aunt had a party in their house and she and her family would come over, along with other people.
Then, one day, about a month and a half ago, unfortunately my dad passed away, aged 59. She started talking to me through Facebook saying she was sorry about my loss and we started talking with each other every day.
Our relationship grew very fast in a short period.
We really care with each other, she says that she loves me, in a friendly way.
But recently, I think I'm getting very fond for her.
The problem is that she has a boyfriend of 1 year but they know each other for 10 years, I think.
Her boyfriend lies to her very often and doesn't treat her with enough respect. He's never sorry and blames her for almost anything. I know this because she shows me her messages.
One day, I decided tell how much a like her, in a friendly way. She really appreciated it and told me that some of her family and friends told her to be with me and not with her current boyfriend, since she isn't happy with her relationship.
A few days passed and she told me that her relationship is in a bad phase and that she still likes him and wants that this bad phase to stop.
We really like each other but I don't know if she has a feeling for me.
If I tell her, will be my relationship with her be ruined?
I really need to tell her, I need to get it off my chest. It's killing me. | I'm in love with my best friend. She is in a somewhat not so good relationship. I'm afraid if I tell her I love her, our relationship is ruined. |
t3_2ad1v0 | college | Anything I can do about my college changing my schedule? | I scheduled my classes last month at orientation "I'm an incoming freshmen". I deliberately tried to have all my classes at the same time each day, so everyday I have a class at 11am, 2pm, and 5pm...but varying classes each day. It worked out well, I avoided all the professors with bad reviews on ratemyprofessor, and I had no 8AM classes because I knew I'd have trouble with that. Pretty much, I took advice from recommendations I've seen on the sub and other places.
I got an email today saying how my lab for Computer Science was rescheduled from a 2pm-5pm class on Tuesday, to a 8-11am class on Friday. At least from what I saw at orientation, my advisor is not so nice. Seems very domineering, and at least from the first impression she didn't seem like a very lenient person who I could just email asking them to switch back my class.
I don't really think the Comp Sci 101 lab will be rough, I've been programming in Java for a long time now since middle school and took AP Computer Science. They don't give credit for the AP exam though, which is all fine. So, I figure for them to screw my schedule, this is the best option over other classes. | My advisor changed my schedule to an early 8AM class, I don't really know her well to ask to change it back, should I ask or just go with it? |
t3_uo1rf | relationships | Need some advice | Well I have been seeing this woman for a couple months now. Everything is great, we compliment each other very well. She tells me she needs to leave and go on vacation for the summer. She's just running away from her problems it is obvious. She was a victim of a sexual attack by multiple people when she was a teenager and was physically abused in some of her previous relationships. She already left and tells me we will get through this and I should hang on. She said she will be back. I am just confused. My question is: How can I connect with a person who went through what she did and let her know she doesn't need to run? I don't want to say or do anything to push her away.
I am a male 25. She is 28. | The woman I like feels like she needs to run away what can I do or say to let her know she doesn't need to without pushing her away |
t3_4wkhsz | relationship_advice | [25f] my boyfriend (25m) is in psychiatric ward again | This is a throwaway for obvious reasons. My boyfriend and I have been together since sophomore year of college. He has had depression for most of his life. His depression has been resistant to treatment and he is worse now then when we met. He is in the hospital for the third time in the past two years.
He is an extremely kind hearted and caring person but his negativity has isolated him from most of his friends and family. I've tried to help him build a support network but not many people stick around.
He tells me how grateful he is to have me and that I am the best thing in his life and that I give him a reason to live. Sometimes, he breaks down crying and tells me I need to leave him so he'll stop ruining my life.
I feel horrible for even thinking it but sometimes I want to run away.
I feel trapped and I'm more anxious and angry than I've ever been. I've started to slip into a depression of my own and I don't know what to do. | Extremely sick boyfriend, I'm all he has, I'm becoming a depressed and angry person from being around him. |
t3_3he7e9 | relationships | I (F22) am crazy jealous and get anxious whenever my (M22) boyfriend does anything... | We've been dating for 2.5 years.
We both just graduated college. He got a job in the big city, and I'm in a suburb 50 minutes away. I'm living at home, he's got a cool apartment. He works with all these young, hip people, and I work with middle-aged moms lol.
Basically, he's always going to happy hours with his pretty female co-workers (and male co-workers, but I'm obviously not as bothered). I just get so nervous because he spends 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, with these young pretty girls. What if he forms relationships with them and develops crushes on them?
I just feel like he's having so much more fun than me, surrounded by cute girls, and I can't even focus. I know it's TERRIBLE and I need to work on my insecurities. His neighborhood is literally famous for the hot young girls that live in it. HOW DO I GET OVER THIS CRAZY JEALOUSY?! | I'm a crazy girlfriend and I'm jealous because my bf works with pretty girls, goes to happy hours with them (and other male co-workers), and I don't know how to get over this insane jealousy. |
t3_2owsio | relationships | I'm(M22) Having trouble sorting my emotions and guilt about a dumb hookup with a friend I met online(F22) | I[M22] met a girl[22] online playing video games as I was being introduced into a group of friends that played from different corners of the country. Right off the bat I could tell she liked me. She eventually asked me about my sex life and we both established that we were virgins. I'd seen pictures of her and I wasn't attracted to her physically but I was starting like her anyway.
Fast forward to half a year later she said she would be going to a theme park near me and she wanted me to come. Even though I was tight on money she said she wanted me to come and that she'd help me pay for any costs. She already knew I wasn't interested in anything long distance but she still wanted me to come.
Of course in my stupidity I went. I accepted money from a girl whom I didn't like as much as she liked me. I believed her when she said she wouldn't get attached. I slept with her and she knew it was just a hookup. I feel like absolute trash now because she texts me all the time saying depressing things about how she misses me and shes afraid of getting jealous over girls I might like in the future. Even though I gave her what she wanted and expected, I still feel like I mislead her and hurt her. I still want to be her friend and I think she does too. I have no Idea what I should do. | I hooked up with a friend and now shes attached and I'm not. I feel like scum because of it. |
t3_2hh1wq | tifu | TIFU by eating out too much. | I pick up a bite to eat most the time when I'm coming off work. Recently I've been on a Chick-fil-a splurge. I eat in their lobby, get a refill of their fresh-squeezed tasty lemonade, bring it home, surf Reddit while sippin my drank. I left my cup on my computer desk with a bit of lemonade left in it and forgot about it.
Next work day, I come home with another large lemonade and set it down on my computer desk right next to the old lemonade without a second thought. In an act of sub-conscious sheer stupidity, I pick up the closest cup to me and sucked up as much sweet nectar as I possibly could. But this was not nectar I so much beloved and trusted. This vile liquid had the sourness of a warhead and the pungent taste of natural organic mold. I gagged, choked, spat out half of it on my pants and sprinted to the bathroom to spew out everything else. In a desperate attempt to orally sanitize myself, equal amounts water and toothpaste were inhaled, swished around a bit and repeated 2 more times, enough times that my tongue turned blue from the toothpaste. I threw out both cups while the mental tasting experience was looping over and over uncontrollably. After recollecting my thoughts from the betrayal, I learned to throw shit out immediately instead of being an infected lazy fucktard. And so that ends my splurge on fast-food for quite some time. Time will tell whether I die or not. If I don't respond to comments, the lemonade killed me. | Chick-fil-a didn't put enough preservatives in my lemonade to protect me from the elements therefore intoxicating me. |
t3_2xbicn | loseit | NSV Went to my first TOPS meeting | I joined reddit a little over a year ago because I read about someone who used r/loseit to lose a ton of weight. I stuck with the calorie counting and exercise for a while, but eventually stopped. I'm sure my flair is no longer correct, but I haven't weighed myself in ages, so I have no idea. I have decided again to get serious about weight loss. Last time, it was hard because my roommate wasn't doing it with me. However, both of us went to our first TOPS meeting tonight, and she really liked it. I liked it too. We have to get notes from a medical professional setting our goal weight, but otherwise, how we lose the weight is up to us. For me, just being held accountable each week at a weigh in is going to help TONS. Also, I'm hoping this will inspire my roommate to cook healthier options on her nights to cook. I think this could be good for both of us. She recently had to buy all new clothes because her old ones were too small. She thought perhaps they had shrunk (she's learning disabled and possibly mildly ID), so I had to explain nicely that her clothes hadn't shrunk, but she had grown--and not taller. | My roommate and I went to TOPS tonight for the first time. I'm hoping this will hold us both accountable for our weight, and will help my roommate make healthier choices when it's her turn to cook. |
t3_2dmvcz | relationships | Me [24F] been with my boyfriend [25 M] for 3 years, Don't like sex, like never ever | "avoid wall of text" yea right.
Okey gone use a newly made throwaway for this since anon.
Like the headline say, been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, love him to death. We both are in a stable place in life, he is working as a webdeveloper or programmer whatever you wanna call it and doing good. I work as a Art director. So we are working alot but we still have sort of the "9 to five "kind of work style so we always see eachother everyday.
But to the point! We have only had sex like two times, i took his virginity and he took mine, and dont get me wrong it was great and all the two times we had sex. But after that noone of us felt the urge anymore like that was that. It's not that iam not attracted to him, he works out and all that no way near fat, i find hot and lustfull, i just that noone really have the urge for penetration sex. But what i noticed the last few weeks is that everytime iam near him he is like in pain.
We have not been completly gone from sexual things. But now iam starting to wonder if he have been abstinent from sex just because i never had the urge to satisfy any sexual need and he had just endured it for almost 3 years. I know he would never force me to do anything or even want me to do anything i don't like (he is very firm on that part since his sister got not raped but "touched" during a festival against her will).
So reddit what should i do, because it almost feels like he is gone exploded everytime he see me naked or i touch him. But i don't feel any urge for sex.
Just to clarify a few things, No he is not cheating on me and no i don't get a sexual urge from very very attractive men that is almost in godlike perfection when it comes to the body. | Not felt sexual urge for 3 years, boyfriend have and keept it together but he have almost reach his limit. Help!! |
t3_2whuua | relationships | (29m) My (31f) GF never ever invites me to dinner with her family | So I know this thread will probably get some hate my way, but I'm just looking for some outside thoughts or opinions.
We've been together about 10 months, live together, I've met her family, she's met mine. Multiple times. We've gone to family gatherings (my side) and dinner/drinks with my parents a hand full of times. Always fun, comfortable, and we all get along great.
At the same time she goes to dinner with her dad once a week, or once every two weeks if things are busy.. This has been a thing as long as I've known her, and she's never ever, not once asked if I'd like to come. Am I offended by this? No, not really. Would I go if she asked, of course. I go to dinner often with my parents or family (we try to once every 2-3 weeks) and often its just me, but half the time she comes too. I invite her to join and she usually comes and often just assumes she's invited and I don't have to ask. She gets along amazingly well with my mom and they even plan the dinners sometimes without me.
However, I've never been invited to join them. I get it. It's there time to have father/daughter time, talk, catch up, whatever it may be. So I don't mind and I'm not offended. But what do you guys think? Am I just being a pansy, is she being inconsiderate, is there something else I'm not considering. I really don't care and am not offended, but it does make me wonder... | My girlfriend goes to dinner with me and my bro, family, friends all the time.... But has never invited me to join any of hers. I don't mind, but wonder why. Thoughts? |
t3_22fs58 | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] dating 7 years, I'm having issues with his new friends | Using a throwaway since my SO uses Reddit. We've been dating since high school and with the exception of a 6-month break in college (4 years ago at this point), we've been together the whole time and have lived together for 3 years. I've been supporting both of us financially as my SO started a job that is 100% commission.
With this new job, he's begun hanging out with coworkers who cheat on their SOs and this doesn't bother my SO at all. My dad cheated on my mom and they are divorced now (and my dad is still doing it to my stepmom which he openly admits) so this makes me really uncomfortable. Also, he's lied to me about where he's going out with them --I found out he went to a strip club with them from a receipt, but he hasn't told me and doesn't know that I know - I'd prefer not to bring this up -- I assume he didn't tell me because of my anxiety issues. I have an anxious attachment style so once I start ruminating, I end up fighting with my SO. I realized this and have been working very hard to change, but I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into the situation because of my history of creating something from nothing.
We've talked extensively about the situation and he's told me that just because he's hanging out with them doesn't mean anything will happen or that he will do the same thing. Logically, I can accept that, but emotionally it's very hard and I'm having difficulty trusting him. He works a lot so that he can start making money so we haven't spent much time together, he's not very communicative, and I feel that he's been growing distant.
I'm not ready to break-up or take a break - I've been working on my own anxiety issues through meditation and want an outside perspective on the situation from all of you. We are communicating with one another and it just doesn't seem to be working, at least for me. Happy to provide more details if need be. | My SO has started hanging out with cheating boyfriends, and I feel us growing apart. Not sure what to do. |
t3_13wrae | dating_advice | Did I (16m) blow it with her (14f) | Background: I asked a girl for coffee about 2 weeks ago and we were gonna meet and then she cancelled, but rescheduled. Potential problem is i forgot to mention the word 'date' and its a slight possibility she took it the wrong way but i feel like its pretty obvious, especially since she was pretty enthusiastic about it.
Well we met today and it started out a bit awkward, i had been advised many girls enjoy a hug at the beginning of a date so i went in for one, she didn't really return so it was an awkward half hug. I shrugged it off quickly and we went off talking about our days. We finally got to our destination (coffee shop) and went in. I was going to pay but she already had her money out and such so i didn't end up offering. We talked for about an hour and it was going pretty good. I had her laughing a bit and we just talked (although there were some awkward silences). Eventually she said she had to go about an hour later, (it seemed genuine, but i'm not sure) so i walked her to the train.
At the train she said goodbye, smiled and waved but no hug or kiss or anything physical. I thought she was having a fine time, but i'm not sure.
Should i continue contact? should i text her telling her i had a good time and such? Should i ask for another date? Is it odd she didn't want any physical contact? | Met with girl, she wasn't hugging or anything and i missed opportunity to pay for food, she seemed to have a good time and left about an hour later, Did i blow it? |
t3_3feien | tifu | Tifu by not paying attention at work | Okay so this didn't happen today it was about a week ago and I've been debating posting it. So here goes nothing:
So I work at a vet down In Georgia and we also have a kennel we board dogs at(I work in the kennel). Every night we have to walk all the dogs we have staying with us. Now on this particular day someone had jacked the temperature of the whole place down to 63° . So I've been kinda cold all day but not terrible because I wear scrubs witch are kinda think. So it comes time to walk all our dogs out in the Georgia heat. So I go get this little tiny yappy dog I've never liked much. So I walk out side with this dog and the heat hit me. It felt amazing so I lean against the wall for a minute and feel the hot sun beat down on me. I'm just like wow this feels great then my co worker says "hey i_love_toner look down at your leg." As I look down I quickly realize that part of the reason I was feeling so worm was because this little dog is pissing all over my right leg. So I'm absolutely disgusted and so I go inside and put the dog up and proceed to scrub my foot leg pant leg shoes and socks with laundry detergent in a tub. After about 10 min I decide it's good enough and now I go back to work with my left leg soaking wet. So I go get another dog and I walk it outside and I'm walking it around our yard we have and there is a pole that dogs like to pee on so I walk it over to the pole to get it to pee. As we get over to the pole my co worker starts talking to me so I turn and look at her and then I start to feel something hitting my right leg so I look down and this second dog I'm walking today has over shot the pole and is not getting my leg. So I go inside and out the dog out and have to clean the piss off my other leg. | I wasn't paying attention at the vet I work at and got pissed on twice by two different dogs within 15 min of each other |
t3_116tie | AskReddit | What would you do if you received an item for free which you know you should send back? | Long story short, I ordered a new mobile online as it was meant to be shipped out to me by the 23rd of september and my contract was running out so needed a new phone/plan etc.
Got dicked around like thousands of other customers as they did not have the phone in stock that I ordered so orders were delayed severely (not iphone 5 btw). I called customer service and cancelled my order from online and decided I would get it in store. I decided i would order through the stores and today I get a call saying phone is ready to be picked up from the store.
Then turns out my dad goes to the post office to pick up a package and it turns out to be the phone I ordered online but then cancelled and somehow they still shipped it out. | Do i keep the phone? Really a question of morals but having trouble deciding myself if i should keep the phone for all the inconviences to myself and other customers. |
t3_2m6gyh | relationships | Me [22m] looking for advice on how to get through to someone [19f] who I've known, loved, and cared for for 4 years who has problems with trust. | I'll try to keep this short.. A girl I really care about and have grown to love, who I've known for about 4 years now has been consistently lied to and betrayed by most of the people in her life. She's developed some trust issues from it understandably and I think a fear of abandonment.
Recently she's been going through a lot, and in the midst of all of this she's been told a lot of things about myself that are both negative and untrue, and is having a lot of conflict with believing me when I try to explain the truth.
Now I could never lie to this girl, or betray her.. And I understand why she's having a hard time believing what I say, but it's really difficult for me when I know in my own heart and mind that she means more to me than that. In betraying her I'd be betraying myself and I've been doing everything I can to help her.
I guess I'm just at a loss because I have trust issues of my own, so I can see where she's coming from.. But I've been nothing but honest, and have always done my best to be good to her.
So in conclusion would anyone happen to have any advice on how to get through to her? Thank you for listening. | Girl I care about and love is having trust issues. Trying my best to get through to her. Could use some advice. |
t3_2xq5k9 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 8 months, not a bad relationship, just "meh" and wondering if it's worth it. | So, things are really just "meh" with my girlfriend right now. They aren't bad. We don't really fight, she gets jealous sometimes but it's not a big deal, the sex is okay, we sort of have topics to talk about (mainly we have a couple of the same classes in college), she gets along well with my friends/family. Yet, it's just a bit boring. I don't really have time right now to do a lot to "excite" it.
We go on dates weekly, but everything has become rather routine. She'll make dinner, I'll cook breakfast, she'll drive us to school, it's all rather domestic. We have talked about how we don't really have plans to go to grad school together (or her to follow me to grad school), but I can't help but feeling that maybe she is kinda planning for this considering how domestic things feel.
And then my doubts come in. This is her first relationship (not mine), so she doesn't have a lot of experience. She is having money troubles right now, which is mostly her fault (a combination between spending and lack of a 'real' job), but kind of annoying for me because I hear about it a lot and am tired of it when it seems as if she isn't doing anything to change it. Different life plans for the future (or rather my defined plans and her undefined/lack-of any plan) make me wonder about the relationship.
We dated for about 4 months before becoming exclusive and now have been together for about 8 months. I love her, but I just don't fee any passion (which I understand dwindles over time). I don't know where this is going. Should I keep in this okay, but just not fantastic relationship, break up, try to make it better? Just not sure what to do from here.
This is an obvious throwaway account because she uses reddit. | Meh" relationship with gf, not sure whether to stay the course, improve the course, or leave the course. |
t3_410gyy | legaladvice | Being harassed by a medical billing company. Worth getting a lawyer or just give in and pay up? | Situation in brief:
Bill for ~$1000. Insurance company says they paid it ages ago. Medical billing company says they never got the check. Insurance says "here's the check number, go look for it". Medical billing company says "we'll put this on hold and get back to you."
It's been 3+ years since the charges were actually incurred. They have been billing me on and off that entire time. The cycle is: they bill me, I call them and the insurance company, I remind them of the situation and that they shouldn't be billing me, they say they'll look into it, they don't, they send me another bill a few months later.
I feel like I'm being harassed since this has gone on for years and I'm stilling getting this periodic pink sheets of paper in the mail extorting me for money I don't owe. I'm tired of calling and calling and explaining and explaining.
Do I have any legal recourse? Or should I give up and give them the money? I can afford it, it just makes me angry because I feel like I'm giving into a bully and that what they are doing is completely immoral (although I'm sure it's somehow legal for them to bill me when they know perfectly well that their agreement with my insurance company doesn't allow them to do so). | Can I stop a medical billing place from harassing me to pay them ~1k I don't owe by getting a lawyer or should I give up? |
t3_vvxjb | running | My experience with five hour energy and a 5k | Short background to why I made this decision:
I signed up for a 5k race without realizing that I had a flight back home that exact morning at 5am, while the race was at 9am. Since the flight was overnight and I can't sleep on airplanes I was about to run the 5k on zero hours of sleep. So figured an hour before the race, lets try a five hour energy and see how it works out.
Analysis:
I took the drink an hour before, and while waiting for the race I experienced no real changes in my energy other than getting myself pumped like I usually do for a race. But right as I walked to the starting line and the race started, I could definitely feel a larger amount of energy that I had previously not had while waiting for the race. As the race proceeded, my heart rate was steady and I ran the race as I feel I normally ran 5ks, but with zero hours of sleep. I was shocked that I had the same output that I had when I normally ran a 5k. After finishing, I was extremely happy, not only at the result, but because I realized the five hour energy had actually helped me. I had no crash and since I had run a 5k, I was as tired as I normally was.
Conclusion:
While I thought about the consequences before I took the drink, I was happily surprised with the result. I would never have gone to such an extreme as to take an energy shot for such a short race, but it paid off. This isn't saying that everyone should do this if they're tired, but I found no negative effects due to the runners high afterwards. All I can say is that I'm impressed with the output I gave with the amount of sleep I had previously, and 5 hour energy definitely helped me. | Five-hour energy helped me not only to run a 5k on zero hours of sleep but compete with a decent result |
t3_2hjvka | personalfinance | Should I Put Excess Student Loan Money in a Mutual Fund to Compensate for Interest Charges? | /r/personalfinance, I'm in need of some financial advice on how to use my excess student loan money to my advantage while still in school. I currently have a starter mutual fund with around $1000 in it. I was thinking of keeping that one as is, with month payments still going in, while opening one or two more mutual fund or money market accounts that are of a more aggressive style. I have about $1000 to play around with to still keep a nice buffer for my bills and other expenses that the bulk off the loan money will be going toward.
All-in-all, I'm trying to find a little loop hole that will help me counteract some of the interest rates that will build up over time. If it matters, I will be in school for the next 5-10 years, which means that the interest rates wont start until after that time. However, the more money I can make from what I already have, the less likely it will be that I will need to take out more loan money from this company in the future before I get into a graduate program. | What mutual fund(s) do you recommend I put $500-$1000 into, to turn a profit in a short amount of time with minimal risk? |
t3_rp3dy | AskReddit | The three year old girl I was babysitting look at my boobs and ask if they were my "breathing lungs" today. What's some of the hilarious/ridiculous things you've heard come out of kids mouth? | We were at the park today and I was on the swing with her in my lap facing me (aka "the spider"). So her face was about chest high on me. With the cutest little voice she goes "Are those your breathing lungs?"
I wasn't sure I heard her right so I ask her to repeat the question and she does, adding "My breathing lungs are in my tummy, but I can see yours cause your shirt poofs up!"
She then proceeds to put her hand on my boob to which I promptly tell her she better hold onto the swing with both hands. I couldn't help but crack up from the conversation. | 3 yr old asks if my boobs are my lungs, and then gropes me in a public park. What's some of the hilarious things you've heard kids say? |
t3_2r8v35 | travel | Where should we go for Spring Break? | Hey guys, I just wanted to get your guys/gals input on Spring Break destinations for this upcoming break!
We've done a little research, mainly on cruises because we talked about it last year. However, a cruise has dropped from high priority to questionable on our list of Spring Break ideas.
The cruises we've been looking at (namely [this one] costs $329 for an Ocean View room for 4 nights.
We think it's pretty good, but we're thinking we could do more.
Some ideas we've had were Belize, Mexico, Miami and New York.
A round-trip flight to Miami is around $600, so Miami is still on the list.
Belize is **ruled out** because the flight costs around $800-$900.
The flight to Mexico and back is roughly $500, so that's okay.
New York costs around $600 for round trip.
But these are just flights only, it doesn't take into account spending money, lodging and other various expenses.
We'd like to keep our budget for the transportation and lodging fees reasonably low (we don't want to sacrifice quality or comfort to save some money, we just want reasonable prices for quality)
Also, I live in Vancouver, BC and she's in Baltimore, Maryland.
(Dear mods, please ask questions rather than saying it's too vague, I'm relatively new to organizing trips myself) :) | I have very little experience organizing trips on my own, please help me for Spring Break with a budget for a student :) |
t3_19xbmb | relationship_advice | (20/f/m, 3 years) My relationship is falling apart, and I'd like some help. | We've been together for 3 years. About a year ago she was diagnosed with lupus, and her emotional responses to things have been a little skewed. I'm trying to be unbiased. We're in the middle of discussions on whether or not we (read I) want to make this work. It's not that I don't love her. I do. I just don't know what to do. She hasn't seemed happy for a long time, but extenuating circumstances have given me reason to make excuses for her sadness. It's been going on since the diagnosis. If we were to break up, she says there's no one else out there for her, that she's broken. On a side note, we are each other's first relationships. We've been dating since high school and into college. Everyone seems to say that high school relationships don't work out. I want to make it work, but I feel like I'm in over my head. Any advice? | High school relationship, girlfriend was diagnosed with lupus in year 2, I want to make it work, but feel like I'm in over my head. |
t3_3ohwww | relationships | I don't know if I [21 M] should text a girl I'm dating [20 F] after she went on a trip without me. | I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months and we've texted each other every day since. She usually starts the conversation. Last Friday she went on a trip with some of her friends, and I'm pretty sure she got laid because we still have a very open relationship and she is very active sexually. I don't mind this as I myself have gone out with other people this weekend.
What does makes me think is that she hasn't texted, snaped or called me since Friday. I haven't done so either because I assume she is having fun and the last thing she wants is some guy bothering her. As I see it there are 2 reasons why she hasn't spoken to me:
- She is having fun and is not really thinking about me.
- She is waiting for me to do it first for some convoluted reason.
Maybe I'm just overthinking this because it's been a while since I've been slightly serious with someone.
So what do you people think about this very insignificant situation? | Girl I'm dating goes to trip without me and hasn't talked to me since she left, even though we've talked daily for 2 months. Don't know what that means. |
t3_2qklmh | relationships | [24/M] potentially breaking up with [24/F] after 2 years. How to avoid an emotional meltdown? | My girlfriend has recently said that she feels she has fallen out of love with me, and we are meeting up in 2 days time to discuss everything through (in a long distance relationship and have been apart for 3 weeks, so first time seeing each other again in a while). We are in a very mature and honest relationship so I don't need any advice in how to approach this as I feel the situation can only be determined by how she feels. I have played my part very reasonably and have done all I can for the relationship.
My issue here is that I took my last breakup pretty heavily, and it really knocked me for a long long time. I still have very strong loving feelings for my girlfriend and I'm incredibly unprepared for how my emotional state is going to be if this relationship ends. The advice I DO need, is how best to prepare myself, and act upon, the result of us breaking up.
There's the standard 'keep yourself busy', 'hang out with friends' etc. etc. but I am one of those self pitying wallowers where the world becomes very dark and negative, and I am prone to getting myself caught up in a depressive loop. I find it very difficult to focus on any positives as my happiness is solely reliant on my relationship status (part of the issue in the first place tbh). I really don't want to have to go through what I did before, and if there is ANYTHING anyone can suggest in order to prepare myself for the worst, then please do pitch in. | Fear that my 2 year relationship is coming to an end and need advice on preparing for the worst as an emotionally volatile person. Took a year and a half to recover from first breakup and unprepared to have to deal with that again. |
t3_1regqo | relationships | I [26/m] want to recconnect with X girlfriend [24/f] is this a good idea? | Hey reddit, i am posting this to basically ask for as much help as possible. Okay it was about 12 months ago that I broke up with her because she lied and cheated on me and definately hurt my feelings. Then she wanted to be friends. This was probably the most demasculating situatioin i ever went through in my life is being her friend at that time becasue i was severely hurt by her. So i told her off and told her i dont want to speak to her for a while. With some success this has happened but for some reason even though that she was a complete and utter horrible person that destroyed me.
to put it lightly she basically really tore me a new one in the world of relationships i think she personally crushed my self esteam and ego for sometime now and has made it so i am timid shy and shakey around any girl that gives any kind of attraction to me the point that they think that i may be gay. (which sucks.) but for some reason some weird reason i want to recconnect with this girl, Should i do it? if so how would i approach this? Help reddit please. | Trying to recconnect with my X should i do it. Or not? even though she cheated on me. Help please |
t3_32ajc9 | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [18 M] 1 1/2 year. Questioning whether or not to stay. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now. Most of the relationship has been spent playing video games and that's really all my boyfriend does. He has invested more time into video games than he has into college, and has failed every single class of his first semester.
Lately I've been wanting to spend more time outside and away from the computer but he doesn't seem to like anything that has to do with the outdoors. He is willing to "like" the outdoor activities I proposed, but I feel that his video game addiction is still a large hindrance on our relationship.
This is my first relationship and I feel that I may find more happiness in other people, but I'm scared that I may be leaving a relationship that isn't bad. The thing is I know he will never cheat, he isn't horrible to me, and when we talked about breaking up before, he said that he would love me for a very long time.
My main reason for breaking up is I don't feel invested in the relationship, sometimes I feel like hanging out with him is a chore and he doesn't like doing any of the things that I do, but again he said he is willing to try to change. We don't do much when we're together and he doesn't keep up a conversation with me as much as he does with his friends. He also usually puts his friends in front of me, which I've been preaching to him for months and only lately has he been trying to get better with it.
Should I leave a relationship with no extreme issues or should I stay without knowing what another relationship would be like? | Boyfriend puts friends and video games before me. Says he loves me, will never cheat, not rude. First relationship so I'm unsure if I should go explore my options. |
t3_wmgk7 | AskReddit | I'm mad at my mom, she's crying, and my dad is pissed. What stories do you have where you were mad/fighting at the rest of your family, and did you make up? | Recently my mom asked to borrow $100 from me that I'm saving. No big deal, but my mom is terrible with money and I'm not quite sure if she'd ever pay me back. She also borrowed $20 last week that she hasn't yet payed back. But the worst thing is that she's almost always out at the bar with friends, while my dad sits at home. She spent my money on going out, or so I believe (she says it was for grocerys, which we never actually got). So I'm quite angry about the ordeal. We've been arguing over it for the past few days, and today it reached a tipping point. There was a whole ordeal where, basically, my mom took a majority of the money I got from selling something of mine. So we fought over that. This ended in my mom crying and my dad forcing me to apologize (saying that my mom's bought me so many video games in the past with the last of her money, which isn't really true). My mom said she never treated her parents the way I treat her, which makes me feel bad, yet my mom's disregard for our financial troubles and me in general makes me even more mad. I'm not quite sure what to do now, but I'm pissed and sad. | My mom sucks with money, borrowed my money, used it to go out, argument ensues, dad's pissed at me, mom's crying. |
t3_g1p2y | books | With the announcement of the new book, I'll go ahead and say this: I loved the ending to The Dark Tower. | [In case you haven't heard.]
**Spoilers, if you haven't finished the series, read no further, you've been warned!**
I liked the ending. IMO, it was one of the best endings I've ever read. I didn't like *everything* about it. For instance, the Crimson King was so anti-climactic. But I understand what SK was going for. The King was mad, absolutely insane in his solitude. All his power lied in influencing weaker beings, he had no true power by the time Roland got to him. I wasn't a fan of how the ka-tet was killed off, either, but I feel it was inevitable. Mostly, I didn't like seeing these characters I'd come to love over the past 10 years or so killed off. But they had to die, that was the story. It was their destiny.
But the actual ending, the part after King warns you to stop reading, was brilliant. It fits perfectly with the final verse of the poem The Dark tower was based on, [Child Roland to the Dark Tower Came.] (What a great poem, and I don't even like poetry especially!)
The idea that Ka was a wheel, that "everything has happened before and it will happen again" hit me like a bag of bricks.
Now, while I read more than anyone I know here in the trailer park, I have no doubt that most of you all are much more well read than I. I never went past High School, and was high the whole time there. So I might not be nearly as qualified as those of you who didn't like it, but I feel my opinion still counts for something.
And I understand why others might not have liked it. I truly see the criticisms, and they are all valid, I just happen to disagree with them.
Personally, I can't wait for the next book. | It gets *a lot* of hate, but I really liked the ending to The Dark Tower. I don't see how it could have ended any other way. |
t3_14oove | AskReddit | How do you successfully exist in the Friendzone? | So like many people, the object of my affection has banished me to the dreaded friendzone. While this has happened to me many times before, this particular incident has me baffled because... I actually want to be friends. In my previous trips to the FZ, I simply just removed myself from their lives completely (dick move, I know). This time I actually want to remain close friends but at the same time, I have no clue how to behave around her anymore. She behaves as if me asking her out was a fluke or the result of one to many drinks and still acts the same. Without getting to mushy, let's just say I have REALLY strong feelings still and the fact that she now knows that makes me even more aggressive about them. I want to be understanding of what she wants out of our friendship but at the same time I'm having a hard time coping with remaining platonic. I literally have been avoiding hanging out with her because I'm afraid of what I might do/say. The last thing I want to do is fuck up the friendship we have. There's a whole slew of reasons why I feel this way but all are irrelevant to the point. I simply ask to those who can relate, what the hell am I supposed to do? | Girl friendzoned me. I want to stay friends too. Mind says yes, heart say no. Halp? |
t3_1lje1l | relationship_advice | [19/m] Need advice on how to approach this. | On Friday night, I was at a Trance/EDM/House electric music venue. I went with my friend who set up a hookah section and helped him out all night, and his brother was the headliner. So I was sitting there smoking, and I see this girl walk in, and shes super tall, (I'm around 6'5) and beautiful, and I'm pretty sure I was slackjawed. I'm a pretty shy guy so I didn't bother doing anything. Turns out my friend's brother was holding a free hookah contest on Facebook as part of a promotion... and it turns out that exact girl won it. So I helped her with her decision, had a couple jokes, etc. I bring her out the hookah and the coals and go back to the stand where I was sitting. about 15 minutes later I went over there to bring them some more coals, and she invites me to sit down with her and her friends and smoke. So I did, and we talked, flirted a little, etc. That turned into dancing with her a number of times throughout the night, and just more general chatter. Around 1:30 rolls around and I saw she was dancing right by our stand, but i was busy so I couldn't do anything, but she kept looking over at me. By the time I was done I saw her walking out of the venue and I never asked for her number. and I was beating myself up for it all the next day. I was scrolling through the Facebook page of the event to see what people thought about it, lo and behold, I saw her on there. Now my question is. Should I contact her through Facebook, and if so, how should I do it? Thanks for the read. | Met a girl a venue, flirted and danced with her, never got her number, stumbled upon her facebook profile, not sure what to do. |
t3_11schr | relationships | My [f18] boyfriend [m22] spends to much time with friend [f22] am I being unreasonable? | My boyfriend an I have been together 2 years. He has a female friend who has been around a little longer than me. Shes 22 (Same as him) and super innocent virgin, never had a boyfriend, wallflower type. So there's nothing sexual between them, however he was her first and only kiss, only once and was an accident cause he was half asleep when it happened. She is basically in love with him but he has made it Verry clear they are just friends. I know I shouldn't feel jealous but I can't help it. I lived with him, at his parents, for about 8 months and we would hang out with her nearly every day but I didn't mind as much then cause I knew they were just friends and her and I became sort of friends. Then 4 months ago she moved to Florida to get her dream job at Disney. She quit after about 2 months and moved back because she missed him and couldn't be away from him. While she was gone I moved out of his house. I live kinda far away so I usually go to his house on Monday and go home Wednesday. Every day I'm there she's with us. My boyfriend and I talk every day and she's ALWAYS with him. They literally spend every day together. They go out alot and when I'm there we sit at the house because he "doesn't have the money" to go out with me. I never get any time for just him and I, but she gets him to herself all the time. And basically her whole life revolves around him. When I talk to him about it he gets upset. | my (f18) boyfriend (m22) spends every day with female friend (f22) and only a couple days with me which includes her. Am I being unreasonable for feeling jealous? |
t3_3sd1xr | relationships | I (17F) with my mom (35F). I never knee my father but I would like to. How do approach this nicely even though my mom doesn't talk about it? | So, I'm on mobile, and I'm sorry for any errors and the wall of text.
Like the title says, I never knew my dad. I know that he left my mom when he found out she was pregnant, but that's it. I don't even know his name or how old he was.
I started therapy about two months ago and brought up with my therapist that I have tried to ask her in the past but she always brushes me off.
While I want to give her time and try to understand that I may be hard for her to talk about, I also still want to know who he is.
How can I approach this with her to be able to sit down and talk about this with her? My idea so far was to ask her as a Christmas or birthday present (my birthday is in February) to maybe write me a letter about him and tell me who he is and possibly give me any contact information? I know that it's about 99% unlikely that she has been in contact with him since I was born, but if she could. If not, I would like her...blessing, I guess, to be able to contact and talk to him.
Thanks for any advice. | I don't know anything about my bio dad and would like to know. How do I approach my mom about this after being brushed off before in this subject? |
t3_3oxa8q | offmychest | I'm a shitty friend. | I'm very good friends with a girl from my homeschool (I have school with about 7 other people). We've known each other for almost three years and have grown very close.
This person has struggled with depression and will very regularly have bad days whenever she experiences even a modicum of stress. She becomes very negative and constantly complains to me. It gets to the point where everything she says to me is a complaint. I also struggle with depression and anxiety so it gets really hard for me to deal with all the negativity that she unloads unto me, especially during exams. This has been going on for a very long time. I end up saying nothing and basically avoiding her during stressful times. And even when I do engage with her and try to offer help, it never really does any good. I would go as far as to say that I almost resent her when this happens, even though I know it's not her fault at all. It might sound horrible and selfish but it really pulls you down to have to deal with a person like this...
I do care for her and sympathize with her situation but it really feels like there is nothing I can do to help. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation? | I ignore a friend who is constantly depressed because I'm unable to help and her constant negativity also weighs down on me. |
t3_2syzip | relationships | My(M/21) girlfriend(would be 20) died last year. Having trouble interracting with people. | background: We dated each other for almost 6 years . We were each other first SO. 2 years ago we rented our first appartment together. we lived together for about a year. During that time I made a pretty decent chunk of money. So, we were looking at house and stuff like that since we had the cash for it. I bought her a ring and planned on proposing in the near future. Then she got hit by a drunk driver.She died before I could get to the hospital.
I did not break down. Sure, I cried a lot in the beginning and I was angry at everyone. good thing the guy that hit her died too or I would probably be in jail for murder. But after a little while i wasnt feeling sad or angry anymore. I, to this day, can't say enjoyed anything since. In fact, I dont feel much at all.
this leads us to my problem now. I was always introverted and socially anxious. but since it all happenned,I get so anxious I cant call for a fucking pizza because the call makes me wanna puke. I'm an indy game game devlopper that works in a team of 3 so, hopefully, I don't have to interract with a lot of people. but when I do its catastrophic. I probably lost 3-4 probable investor.
It's not so bad when I talk to friend or familly. But I tend to snap at them a lot. It's about the only time I feel someting these days. that and when people complain about small stuff. It's weird. I get so fucking angry that they get to complain about things so pathetic like being stuck in traffic while I would kill to be stuck in traffic with her. I know it's dumb on my part but I can't seem to stop.
these issue caused a lot of stress on my relationship that i have with everybody else.I don't know how to change that. In fact , I feel like it's getting worse. I don't think i have enough willpower to even try something atm. | girlfriend died. don't really feel anything exept sometime anger anymore. don't know what should be my next step . |
t3_4ylnbu | Advice | I want to upgrade my phone, keep my number, and will be out of the country for 4-8 months | I currently have the iPhone 5S and I am with a Canadian service provider. I received this phone back in January 2014 on a grandfather smart plan contract and it has since expired (after two years) so I'm not tied to any agreement at the moment. The plan I have is just ok: $39 per month with the usual text and call perks and 600mb of data.
I plan on getting the iPhone 7 before the year ends. I'm in my last year of undergraduate studies and will be going on Exchange in Asia January - May 2017 (possibly until August if I decide to stay and travel more) and would like to have a new phone for the duration. I know it might not make intuitive sense to bring a brand new phone abroad, but I'm ok with taking that risk.
What's the best way to get the phone, get a solid data plan while I'm in Canada, and still keep my phone number after I come back in June or September next year? I don't know too much about how contracts work (and how flexible they are), so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
The options I'm considering include signing a two-year agreement with a provider with a discounted price on purchasing the iPhone, and then I would ask to suspend the contract for the time I'm out of the country and pay like $15-20 a month to keep my number and contract active? Another alternative would be to just purchase the phone outright and stick to the plan I have right now (which isn't that great since I often find myself exceeding my data), make sure it's unlocked for my Exchange, and cancel my plan - but then how would I keep my number?
Thanks for your help! | I want to get the iPhone 7 on a nice (cost effective) plan in Canada while keeping my number when I'm out of the country for 4 - 8 months next year. Help please |
t3_xq7om | relationship_advice | [24/f] Love my [25/m] boyfriend to pieces but we probably have to break up. How do I deal with this? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years now, since we were both in college. We get along great almost all the time, we understand each other. I love him dearly and I know for sure that I'm the most important person in his life. In fact he's already expressed for a while that he'd like to get married and have kids eventually. Sounds ideal, right?
Problem is, we do have some incompatibilities that have surfaced over the past ~4 years, which we've talked about and I've tried to overlook or give some time for the sake of our relationship...but at this point, I'm losing my hope that things will work out. He's stubborn and doesn't want to make change anything about himself, even though I make it a point to adapt to him when I can, and even given more time I'm getting skeptical that our few incompatibilities will ever iron out no matter how much I ask him to try (which yes, he will agree to try sometimes). I'm torn by how much we love each other and how these few things are throwing a wrench into us having the perfect happily-ever-after kind of deal.
To make it worse, my mother has been opposing our relationship for a while and has somewhat coerced me into admitting that I think some things aren't working out between us and that it'd be best to break up. My mother and I are usually best friends, and I value her advice and insight...and I know a lot of what she says is true, but I can't help feeling incredibly sad about all of this.
I know it's a rookie mistake to hope for someone to change in a relationship. But back in my mind, I still naively hope that he will, and no matter what happens between us I still love him to bits. Meanwhile, the rational, logical part of me has committed to breaking up with him. I feel so heartbroken and conflicted about the whole thing...any words of advice, Reddit? | Boyfriend and I love each other very much, but have a few fatal flaws in our relationship that logically mean we should break up. I don't want to but feel like I should anyway. |
t3_ei5yy | relationship_advice | Didn't call after a first date, now I regret it. | Hi reddit.
A girl added me on facebook a few weeks ago. We didn't know each other personally, but had a few mutual friends. So, I wrote to her, and it turned out we had more even more things in common (same field of study, similar interests etc). I also found out that her mother is a former teacher of mine. Now, I have a tremendous amount of respect for her mother (she was my favorite teacher) and we're actually still in contact. So, as you can imagine, this fact made me a little nervous.
Anyway, we wrote back and forth for a couple of weeks and I asked her if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee. She said she did, and we went out. Things were going well, so I decided to walk her home. On the way to her house, we sat on a bench in a small park. While she didn't seem to be in a hurry, she did keep obvious physical distance, so I didn't try anything. So, we just sat and talked for 30 minutes or so and then got up and said goodbye.
I was a little disappointed by her mixed signals (apart from the physical distance, everything was going great), so I decided not to call her again. Looking back at it, I suspect she might have been playing hard to get (then again, she might have not felt any attraction to me).
Anyway, now I regret not calling her again. The problem is, it's been a week. Is there any way I can fix this or should I just move on? | Last week, I went on a first date with a girl. She gave me mixed signals, so I decided not to call her again. Now I regret it. Is there a way to fix this or is it too late? |
t3_35loyz | relationships | Me [19 M]with my now ex gf[17 F] together three months, having trouble dealing with breakup | I am just coming here maybe for some advice and help dealing with breakups. I met this girl 5 months ago at a coffee shop after i played a performance, I had been nearly a year single after a three year relationship that ended with being cheated on at the time. The relationship has been good, she is a sweet girl who I get along with great.
Recently my best friend who had been gone for two years came back to live with me, and we have spent most of the last week together. My gf felt neglected and I explained my friend is just as important as her, and I could respect it if that was not enough for her. She said it would be best for her to break up then, I did not contest, but I truely feel awful, I really thought we had a great relationship and I am so sad to lose that. It really discourages me from trying to date again and makes me feel bad that I can't give attention to many people in my life at once. | discouraged from dating and feeling bad after a good relationship ended, really would love advice on if I should handle certain things different. |
t3_4mvuwx | relationships | Me [30F] with my nephew [0M] Long distance Aunt. | Hey everyone, sorry if I am posting in the wrong spot but I figure reddit is the best place to get advice from people in similar situations. Please redirect me if this is better suited somewhere else.
A year and a half ago I moved to Australia from Canada and my brother and sister-in-law and the first baby of the family (we also have a sister).
He's 3 months old now (I have not been home since I left) and I've been keeping in great touch with my siblings over Facetime and iMessage, having constant videos and photos of baby sent to me.
The other day one of my best friends who is close with my family texted me a picture of her holding my nephew saying "I beat you to it!" obviously just to be cute, but it hit me hard for the first time-- the reality of being 15,000km away I will be missing out on all these moments.
Now the last week I've been watching videos of him making his first sounds and being really sad and in tears missing these, thinking, he won't know who I am when I meet him (in a couple months) and won't remember.. and I may only be lucky enough to get back to Canada every 2-3 years.
How do I build a relationship with him? Will video chatting be enough for him to feel safe and close to me like he will be with my sister and his other aunts and uncles? Most of the articles I've read online about long distance aunts/uncles are people who at least get to see the kids 2-5 times a year, but this is maybe once every 2-3 years at most.
I know it's my own fault for leaving but I am truly happy living here.
Would love to hear any advice or experiences similar. | Long distance relationship with new nephew, Can to Aus, only see him every 2-3 years, how to have a relationship. |
t3_3db4li | tifu | TIFU by telling a friend that I'd give her some smut | Corn smut is a fungus that infects corn while it's growing. It's nasty looking and ruins the corn. Google it. I hate corn smut. My garden seems to be very susceptible to the stuff so about one in every three ears of corn I grow has the grey mushroomy looking gunk in it. That's one less ear of corn for my family come harvest time.
Oddly enough, it's actually a delicacy in some countries. There are people who actually LIKE corn smut. According to a friend who is one of those people, it supposedly has a buttery taste that is reminiscent of white truffles.
Our corn is getting tall, and I'm anticipating a few ears with smut in them. So when I saw this friend in the grocery store, I was excited to tell her she might have a treat come fall. The store was crowded, and I was only able to get to about four shopping carts from her. So I yelled "Renee! Hey! Renee! It looks like I'll be able to give you that smut you wanted!"
Heads turned. People gasped. I immediately realized what I had said. But whatever. *Honi soit qui mal y pense* and all that. So I got closer to her and explained that it was CORN smut that I would have for her later on when I harvested our garden. She said thanks, we went on our separate ways, and to this day there are people in my town who think I'm some pervert to goes around yelling to women about giving them smut. | yelled to a female friend across a crowd that I was going to give her some corn smut (an edible fungus) but forgot to say "corn" and caused some biddies to gasp in dismay. |
t3_4mzb99 | tifu | TIFU by volunteering for a fundraiser half marathon without knowing the run route. | Last Saturday I volunteered to be a worker for a half marathon race fundraiser. After I checked in I was driven to the last water point, at a T intersection about 2 km from the finish, so I was told. But I was told nothing else and I asked no further questions.
Within 15 minutes a pack of very fast runners begin to approach. Their leader yelled to me "Which way?"
Well, I had no fucking idea. I could either guess left or right. But, the road they were to turn on was a one-way road. So I directed them in the direction of the one-way, towards downtown. I had a 50-50 chance of directing them in the correct direction. I guessed wrong.
For the next 30 minutes or so I directed runners in the wrong direction until one of the race organizers drove by and caught me in the middle of directing another group downtown. We spent the next hour sending vans downtown finding runners and bringing them back like lost kids at a park. | I directed the first 40-60 half-marathoners in a race in the wrong direction (when they were 2km from the finish) causing them to run around aimlessly. |
t3_1ntosx | relationships | Me [24 F] with my casual thing [20 M] short. I really liked him, now I am afraid of him, dislike him and don't want to deal with him but REALLY miss his cuddling and physical affection. | Right after we ended whatever that was, I found a few one night stand type deals but that's not what I want. I want a non-committed FWB. I am moving next summer and do not want to get emotionally invested but want someone for fun time.
Really, I want HIM for fun time but as it turned out at the end, he's repulsed by me. Right off the bat it sent me into a bad way, fucking guys just to prove that I am not repulsive. That did not work.
I don't know where to meet people (small town, I don't drink, most of my friends moved away in the past couple of years) or how to really truly accept that I will never again hold him. | He's a dick and I am afraid of him, but I want to touch him. How did I get past this? |
t3_1mes1y | relationships | Old hookup (21M) texts me (25F) out of the blue. I did the right thing... right? | So, out of nowhere today I received a text from this guy I hadn't spoken to in a couple of months. Actually, we hooked up back in early March and and I haven't seen him since. Every time I tried to make plans with him, he'd talk about how busy he was with school and what not and then he'd get back to me later in the week -- which, of course, he never did. Then, I decided to try one more time (actually because my plans fell through with a different guy) only for him to tell me he was seeing someone. Fair enough. We didn't owe each other anything. So, I deleted his number and moved on.
[Our lovely text exchange conversation](
I'm 90 percent sure I handled this in the best way possible (other than not responding to him at all). I did genuinely like him but I'm not anyone's second choice nor am I a rebound. However, there's this part of me that wonders if I should give him a second chance -- despite his initial crappiness towards me. I guess I still want more of an explanation for his behavior. Why went so wrong between us? But he's just a kid, it's not likely he's had some mind-blowing epiphany about how to treat women better. He had his chance. Multiple chances. I guess, I just want some reassurance I made the right choice myself. | Old hookup texts me out of the blue after breaking up with his girlfriend. I told him I wasn't interested (even though I am slightly) but now wondering if I made the right decision? |
t3_3ccgst | relationships | Can I [18 M] bring up an insecurity to my Girlfriend [18 F] of 7 months? Is a man showing vulnerability generally a bad idea? | Alright guys, first time poster here.
I am under the impression, a man in a relationship, should show no weakness to his woman, as said by my father, and a close girl friend of mine.
I suffer from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), so this makes being in a relationship for me, overwhelming at times, especially when not necessary.
Recently, my girlfriend has left me hanging and didn't bother texting me back, both Friday night, and Sunday night. She stopped replying yesterday, but was able to post on her Snapchat story, and look at my Snapchat story, but she never got back to me.
I can understand if she is busy, she has a life, but I know for a fact she is never seperated from her phone.
I wanted to bring this up to her, as her not replying, makes me feel as if I am being ignored, or left feeling she doesn't want to talk to me, and would much rather get a goodbye than being left to wonder if something is wrong.
Anxiety only makes this worse, and has me thinking the worst of scenarios, leaving me mentally and emotionally exhausted.
How could I bring this up to her? Will it make me look needy, or obsessive? Should I wait for her to contact me first?
One girl-friend suggested I do, and said that if she wasn't understanding, she isn't ready for a real relationship, another girl-friend suggested I don't.
If it's worth noting, we were best, and really close friends, before dating, and we have been dating for 7 months already, been together for 3.
She had feelings for me, and acted on them, leading to more and more things, and us getting together.
> | Anxiety from GF not responding, leads to intensive overthinking, do I tell her? If I do, how can I do it without looking needy? |
t3_4sungh | offmychest | I attempted to paint a 3 story building with a pole and a drenched paint brush. Apartment wide feud ensued. | My 7:00AAM apartment matienence job started with my supervisor telling me that I needed to paint a two and a half story building with nothing but a ladder and a paint brush. So -being deathly afraid of heights- I found the longest pole that I could find (probably upwards of 25 feet) and taped my paint brush to the end of it.
This was not just a flat wall, it was tiled so I really had to drench the brush to get it into all the nooks and crannies. As I started to paint -by swinging the pole up to the wall- I noticed that it was starting to get pretty windy. There was a parking lot nearby, but it wasn't thaat windy.
After the day was over and was cleaning up I noticed a tricked out flat black pick up truck that someone had obviously put quite a bit of work into. The back end was completely speckled with paint. All over. For some reason I thought that the guy wouldn't notice so I just went on my way.
The next day the truck-owner came by and confronted me. I told him: "I am so sorry, my manager told me I needed to paint this wall by the end of the day (a lie) with nothing but a paint brush. I was just trying to do my job. I am so sorry"
The guy -also being working class- immediately related to me and displaced his anger towards the apartment management.
For the following week the truck-owner would rev his engine so loud that everyone within a few blocks could hear it. Eventually the management would come to his house, they would scream at each other, he would video tape them and then go back into his house and slam the door. Eventually other residents of the apartments got involved and started to take sides. Before I knew it I had residents coming up and telling me how hard I worked for how little I got paid, and how shitty the management was and how much they hated the apartments. Before that most people seemed pretty happy.
He got evicted shortly after.
Whoops. | Got white paint on a flat black pickup (lied about it) that caused a week long feud that ended in an eviction. |
t3_26k31r | relationships | Should I [28 M] forgive the Girl, [29 F] I've been kind of seeing for a few weeks for her behavior while she was intoxicated? | Back story: I recently managed to find the strength to break up with girl whom I dated for 8 years. She constantly cheated on me, would apologize and I would eventually forgive her only to have her do it again.
So I've been kind of seeing a new girl, and her and a few friends we both share invited me out to the bar. She was pretty wasted and I was sober.
She spends the majority of the night hanging on this other guy, whom she kind of knew from sometime in the past. When I say hang, I mean literally put her arm around this guy's arm. I know this is a romantic gesture, as she has done the same to me in the past. I wasn't so much jealous of the other guy, as I was offended that she just ignored me the entire evening. The guy even apologized to me because he knew what was going on.
Here's my situation though. Is this something I should forgive? I think I've lost perspective on what is considered a "forgivable offense," due to my past relationship history.
My first instinct is to forgive, because, compared to my past girlfriend who would have sex with people in my bed, this seems like nothing. If I managed to forgive that, then why should I care about 2 hours in a bar where she ignored me?
But then I think: This is exactly how I got into such a messed up relationship in the past. To avoid the same thing, I shouldn't be forgiving. I shouldn't repeat my behavior. I should expect the same respect out of people that I give them. This relationship hasn't been going on very long, and I can cut out now and possibly avoid further problems. As reddit would say "dodge a bullet." | Possible romantic interests flirts with other guy in front of me. Is this something I should forgive, or take as an opportunity to get out before it gets worse? |
t3_2lvb1d | personalfinance | Undergraduate student looking for advice | Hello, I'm a junior at a university in Virginia completing an international affairs (focus on the middle east w/ arabic) and political science double major, with a couple of free minors that come along with the classes I take. I went to community college and high school at the same time so I came in with around 50 credits as a freshman. Sadly I wasted a year trying my best to major in computer science but I couldn't wrap my head around the subject and dropped it to pick up my current second major, political science (lots of shared classes with inta)
I currently am spending around $7k a year in loans to cover my schooling which I understand is on the lower end loan wise, I'm instate and have half of my tuition covered by the university.
After an additional scholarship, I only spend about $2k yearly on tuition with the other $5k in loans going to rent (I've had a hard time finding anything below $350 a year, and am currently spending $450 a month now as to live closer to campus after totaling my car this past summer (with limited liability sadly).
While I may be able to graduate a semester or two early depending on scholarships for summer classes, if I don't I should graduate with around $25k in total debts with about a third of those being subsidized loans. While I'm performing well in my subjects, I understand that the career paths available to me are competitive and that there is a good chance that I might have issues paying back my loans after graduation.
As of right now part of me thinks that if I could have done it again I wouldn't have gone to college as I am worried about the amount of debt I am in. At the same time, I realize that as I'm sitting in about $12k of student loan debt and that it wouldn't be feasible for me to drop out in an attempt to not accrue the additional debt. Yet I get an enormous amount of anxiety when thinking about it so its hard to ignore those thoughts. | I'm scared I wont succeed in a competitive job market after graduation and having second thoughts on whether or not it was worth it to come to college in the first place. What should I do? |
t3_548auz | relationships | PLEASE HELP Me [18 M] DO not understand relationships and what is acceptable and not and how they work and everything | I'll try to explain my situation as well as well as I can
I'm 18 and am a good looking guy [right now] but had nearly no confidence growing up and still have very little. I'm a first year college student and never have had a girl friend and everyone asks why and how. Please help me with the following.
- I dont know how to let a girl im into know that im into her. How can I let her know im attracted and how and when do i act on it. Say for a girl in one of my classes. Say we go out not even on a date but were both attracted to each other when do you go in for a kiss or when do get close to her?
- How do you make it a relationship?
- Can everyone post their experiences starting a relationship so I can get used to seeing whats okay?
- And can women post on whats okay and not okay?
- Please respond with anything you think can be helpful.
THANK YOU
I realize typing it out trying to explain the situation clearly made it sound a bit dumb but please ask for any clarification | I dont understand how to advance on women whom I am interested in and how to advance on them and what is acceptable and the pace and what to say. |
t3_vzqtx | AskReddit | Ask Reddit: How can I get Reddit's help and love for our Videogame Museum? | Dear Reddit;
I love you. I read you every day. Old links, new links, silly memes, dumb memes, AMAs and all the other stuff is constantly fascinating to me. I love your readers, your novelty accounts, your spirit of generosity.
But I have a problem. You really can go off the handle sometimes. Let me tell you a story.
Last April, I started up a non-profit videogame museum. We held a Kickstarter and raised $20,000 to open a space and run it for 6 months. And we did just that. Along the way, we started hosting free programming classes for inner-city kids, we were gifted with **the entirety of the GamePro Magazine game and equipment collection**, and we've built a community around game jams, tournaments and lectures.
But we're really having trouble getting the word out. And here's why: when we started our Kickstarter, we posted it on Reddit. We got to about 40 up-votes before someone accused us of being a scam in the comments. As soon as this happened, the Reddit link went dead.
Obviously, we're not a scam: 4 months after our Kickstarter funds ran out, we're still here, and still only spending money on rent, Internet and insurance.
So my question to you, Reddit, is this: How can I tap into your generosity? The Museum of Art and Digital Entertainment needs help in all its forms: we need money, we need people to spread the word, we need kids for our summer camps. We're not having much luck in getting the word out there, as we don't have funds for advertising...
I ask because we are nearing a crisis point where we need bridge funds to keep the doors open so we will still be here when the grants and corporate money we're asking for arrive in the fall. | how can we engage the Reddit community and its generosity for our non-profit, without falling victim to Reddit FUD? |
t3_e9q3m | AskReddit | I would like to master the art of badassery | I am a 19-year-old female who is a sophomore in college. I live on campus, I am fairly social/friendly, and I have a boyfriend who I've been seeing for over a year. Pretty normal. My problem is that I am constantly referred to as being "innocent" and a "goody goody", and I have been for most of my high school/college life. It frustrates me so much when people I barely even know label me as this. It causes them to either a) ignore me b) feel like they have to be guarded about what they say around me or c) pick on me about it. I consider myself to be a fairly 'good person', but I don't completely understand what about me gives people this impression and, more importantly, how I can stop this from happening.
I frequently find friends/acquaintances of mine to be shocked when they hear me tell a story, crack a perverted joke, swear, etc. I always get a response something like, "I never would have pictured you to _______!?!" This makes me want to scream. I will admit, I am probably not your typical college girl as I don't find constant partying to be the greatest thing ever, I don't smoke like 50% of my fellow students do, and I am a Dean's List student. HOWEVER, I am fairly outgoing, my close friends would tell you I am goofball, I think dirty humor is hilarious, I CANNOT wait until my 21st birthday, etc. I am not sure how I can shake this persona of being "innocent". I just really need some advice so that I don't lose out on friends/experiences, and maybe some ideas of how I can be a little more badass?
Any thoughts, Reddit?? | – People don't take the time to get to know me because I give off vibes of being a 'goody goody'. I would love to change this. |
t3_4zki8d | relationships | I[27m] found out one of my friends[26m] slept with my girlfriend[27f] prior to dating me off Instagram | (together 7 months)
So here are the basics, my girlfriend and I are both young professionals and we are working in a city. Body wise, we are both slightly above average in fitness. No six pack, but I can run a 6:15 mile.
We have been dating for seven months now, and a bit about us sexually. My girlfriend told me that she doesn't sleep with just anyone, and that she only has sex in a relationship, and that she has only had sex with two guys before me. I am mentioning this because a lot of it is relative.
So, I haven't introduced my girlfriend to my friends yet, I have posted a picture of us in the groupchat that we are a part of but that only has close friends. So now, I was looking through Instagram and saw that my friend Jake already followed my girlfriend. It threw me off since I didn't introduce him to her, so I asked him how he knew my girlfriend.
He told me that he slept with her. And I'm like what, she never told me about you. And he was like yeah bro, he basically just asked her to meet up off Instagram, and she did and she fucked him. And it blew my mind because he has screen shots of the instagram messages between them. This isn't knew for him, he has done this type of stuff with other girls before, he is really good looking face wise, and he has a great body so I am not surprised.
But I am surprised that he did this with my girlfriend. Especially after that huge talk we had where she told me that she isn't like other girls who sleep around. Honestly, to me finding out about this really cheapens the experience we had. Because, it went from, oh I don't sleep with anyone, to I will jump into bed with a guy if he is good looking enough from Instagram.
I don't want to break up, but this really does shake the foundation of our relationship. Am I overreacting about this? How would you guys feel about this? | found out my girlfriend slept with one of my friends off Instagram before we started dating, I am feeling uneasy about our relationship. |
t3_10rlyu | personalfinance | Balance transfer question | Hey guys, hope you guys can give me some advice on this.
My wife and I have recently started to get really serious about our finances and thanks to this subreddit have been doing quite well at it. We have been following a strict budget for the last few months and have been trying to get our debt paid down.
This morning when I signed on to Discover's site to post a payment I noticed a offer for a balance transfer with 0% interest for 18 months with a 3% transfer fee. Now here is where I need the advice. I was thinking about transferring 2 balances to this card, a $1200 balance at 27.24% and a $2000 balance at 15.24%. If my math is right this would be around a $66 dollar transfer fee and we could have it paid off in 10 months with our $500 month budgeted credit card debt payoff. There is already $1500 on the Discover card. This could save us hundreds of dollars in interest.
I'm just not sure if this is a smart move or not, I haven't done a balance transfer before. I know this isn't the most organized post but thanks for reading it if you did. | 0% balance transfer for 18 months, 3% fee. Wanted to transfer $3200 15&27% intrest to it and pay it off in 10 months. Need advice if smart move or not |
t3_2n3fo3 | travel | Traveling around Europe for about 2 weeks - flying back on the 1st of January. Really confused | I am currently doing an exchange semester in Sweden , mainly did this because I wanted to see a bit of Europe. After being here for a couple of months now, I know I will be back after I graduate college. That being said, I have time from the 18th December to the 31st December to travel around. I fly back to Canada early morning on the 1st Jan (sucks I know). I want to give my self a taste of what Europe is before I go back home (more like a trailer of what is to come).
I have already traveled to: Rome, Florence, Budapest, Copenhagen and Berlin. I need some help planing where should I go and what should I do. I dont know what part of Europe is good during winter and which isn't. Any suggestions would helpful. | Doing an exchange semester in Sweden. Have 13 days after classes end to travel. and have already done: Rome, Florence, Berlin, Copenhagen and Budapest. Need suggestions |
t3_1pou24 | AskReddit | British Men - are all British Men like this? | First - I mean no offense by this, this is all observation and I'm legitimately curious.
I'm an American taking a term at a British Uni. I figured before I got here that not all British folk were terribly posh and well-mannered, but I really didn't expect the culture shock I've gotten since I've been here.
The men treat women like absolute trash - and the women just seem to take it. I've seen men just walk up to women they don't know and smack them on the ass, greet/refer to women with the terms whore,slut,slag,bitch, ho, etc., make derogatory claims about lesbians, and just last night I was out dancing for a Halloween party and someone walked by me, grabbed my boob and then ran away quickly before I can even see who it was. A good bit of them I'm pretty sure I've never seen sober, either. I know the American media claims some American men act like this, but damn it's nowhere near this bad.
So British men - my question is, is it just where I am, maybe? Or is the UK just really like this? I'm in a small town in the North, closest cities are Liverpool and Manchester. All of these are Uni guys. I guess it's mostly freshers that here (though that's still no excuse), but I'd really like to think I'm just in a bad area or something. | British men in the north (where I am currently staying) act like slaggy neanderthals. Please assure me it's not like this everywhere and the British gentleman really exists |
t3_y4flg | AskReddit | I saw someone asking about the marines, but what about the airforce specifically? I'm thinking of joining, but not 100% set on it just yet. What are your thoughts? | I saw someone post asking about the marines. And while a few airforce people replied, I'd like to hear a bit more specifically about that. So if you have any experience in it, or knowledge of it, I would appreciate it.
I'm considering joining the airforce once I'm done with college next May. I have been wanting to go in as an officer as it will make things easier in the long run. I was considering going into AFOSI as my option if possible. I did some research and found the only real qualification I need outside of basic physical and mental fitness is to be ranked E7 or above which I easily pass as an officer. I guess my real question is, does anyone have experience with AFOSI. Good Bad or otherwise. How would I go about getting into that department? Do I need it specifically stated that's where I'll be working when I sign the papers? Do I just talk to a normal recruiter even though I would be going in as an officer and not enlisted? Are there any things in general I should look out for when I go in to talk to the recruiter? (other than get everything in writing) My goal is to work some form of investigations angle as I'm graduating with a degree in Criminal Justice and enjoy the field. Really most any information is helpful. I'm thinking of going in around October of next year so I'm not in the heat for basic. (Which I believe for AF is usually in Texas or Georgia.) | Considering joining the airforce as an officer in October of next year. I want to work in AFOSI, and just looking for tips and information. |
t3_12rm1d | AskReddit | Can you help me with my brainwashed gf? | She's involved with Amway. As in she is an 'independent business owner' and is constantly prospecting people in my life and strangers to join her business. She is always suggesting products to me that are supposedly amazing and will make me feel awesome. She also constantly talks about how she will be retiring in 5-10 years and will be making 50 grand a month. Up until this point I've been able to bite my tongue and try to be as supportive as I can without getting involved in the business itself (which is something I will never do). It's been the last couple of days where things have really come to a head.
We argued about the business and how I told her that I need her to stop pressuring me to buy and or join her. It is amway culture I guess to marry young and early because they feel if you are going to commit to something just do it all the way. Usually the spouse is also involved in the business and you become business partners. Her 'colleagues' have expressed concern that our relationship may not be a good suit because i am unsupportive and critical of this business.
Gf has assured me that she does not care if I join but her actions tell me otherwise. She is worried that I will become resentful if she starts making 50 grand a month and would want to spoil me because I would not be able to do the same for her. She said she doesn't expect me to spoil her in any way she just worries that I will feel like I'm not contributing equally.
I told her that I didn't feel that this should be an issue that we will fight about right now as this is not the reality of our relationship at the moment. I understand looking to the future is important but I also understand logic.
Rainbow Raptors... help me. I reaaaallly like this girl and I really enjoy my time with her when she is not spouting amway stuff to me. I don't know how to reason with her and I don't know what to do. Advice? Words of wisdom? | Gf is in amway, don't know how to reason with her. Need help asap. also f(21) and dating another f(21) |
t3_10e9e2 | dating_advice | I (20F) am confused. Can't tell if guy (23) i recently started talking to is interested in/attracted to me. | We met online and have been talking for a little under a month. We talk all day, for the majority of the day, mostly via facebook. When we first met, he was never online. Now he is constantly on, I can't tell if it's to talk to me or if there are others he is chatting with. Only problem is, he now has my phone number but he doesn't text me as often as I would assume he would if he were interested (last time he texted me was 2 days ago). However, we still chat on facebook. I know this may seem childish, but when you meet someone online and have no other way of communicating with them, how else are you supposed to know? I would just like to know, given these signs, if he seems to be attracted. Thanks, Reddit! | Met guy online and have been talking for about a month, can't tell if he is attracted to me or not. |
t3_2shi2g | Advice | Is there a prescribed age range for women to have children (biologically)? | I am 29, and my wife is 28. We have been in a relationship for 8 years, and then married for the next 2. Parents, in-laws and certain other family members have already started to hint that it's high time we got kids into the equation. Now, I don't give a twat about what they have to say about my personal life, but it got me curious, for sure.
One of the major reasons family is coaxing us to get kids is that, apparently, complications increase a lot during pregnancies if the woman is post 30. I know it's true in some level, but what's the probability of that happening in real life? Sadly, I don't have many acquaintances where women have had kids (at least the first one) post 30, but there sure are many other famous and successful women who have had kids much later in their lives.
By the way, I do not know how much race plays a part in this, but we are Indians (South Asia). | Many women have kids late in their lives, but not most. How do I decide how long can my wife and I wait before we must think of having the first kid. |
t3_4r7oa9 | relationships | Boyfriend wont acknowledge me on social media? | (19F) I've been with my boyfriend (21M) for a few months now and he's never posted anything (except our relationship status) on facebook. I am okay with this since I find overly-public couples annoying, but I took a cute video of him saying he loved me and he refused to post it to snapchat because he would look "gay as fuck" in front of his pals. It's his reaction that bothered me, why is showing affection of social media branded "gay"? Why is male pride something guys cant get over these days?
I've posted a few things on facebook including pictures of us together, he's never removed the tag but he has hid them from his timeline and never comments on them. I also regularly catch cute pictures of him on snapchat and caption by saying how much i love him. I dont understand why he reacts so badly to it though or why he cares about his friends opinions. | My boyfriend reacted very badly to me suggesting he post something cute about me on social media. He says he cares about his friends calling him "gay" and I dont know what to make of it all. |
t3_1iqx9q | relationships | I [18M] am attracted to my duet partner [F18], and I'm not sure how to express myself. | I'm an 18 year old male, university student (1st year). I play a duet act with a girl from my university, and I've recently started to develop feelings for her. We were friends before the performing started, but now that we've started to spend more time together outside of the classroom, I'm starting to feel attracted to her.
On top of practicing our performance, we've started doing more social stuff, like movies and parties together. I (think) I'm being flirtatious, and I keep dropping hints, but she's either ignoring it for the sake of friendship, or is completely oblivious, and I'm not to sure about whether I should be more up front about my attraction to her.
We hug, and tickle each other on occasion. She constantly jokes about herself being attractive, and I agree with her, which cracks a smile. However, she also talks about her interest in a relationship IN GENERAL. Not with any specific person. I'm not sure whether she is being open because she views me as a friend, or dropping hints.
As much as I would love a relationship with her, I don't want to be up front with her if I'm not 100% sure she feels the same, primarily because I don't want to ruin our working relationship with our music. We perform professionally, and I don't want it to be awkward.
I'm asking two questions really.
1. How can I show my attraction to her without being to direct and potentially ruin our friendship?
2. Is she being flirtatious, or just friendly and open? | I am attracted to my performance partner. I flirt, but she seems largely oblivious. She may be flirty but I'm not sure. |
t3_39yo5e | relationships | How do I 25m convince my friend 26m to see a psychologist | I will try to be short, I want advice to get my friend to see a psychologist, maybe directly read those. Well, I used to hang out with him as a best friend a lot, until I got a girlfriend, she used to take a lot of my time at the beginning of the relationship (like first 10 months) .
That created a lot of problems because I was spending less time with him. When he realized she is taking from his time with me, he gets depressed and starts fights.
Well long story short, I realized they were both controlling. My girlfriend started seeing a psychologist in the past year which my the situation whole much better.
He lost his mom in high school and other important people in his life, and every time he senses he is loosing someone, he gets depressed. I remember a time when we all graduated and our friends were leaving the country, and instead of enjoying that time, he got all grumpy and screwed the outing, and I wanted to bunch him in the face.
My friend refuses to see a psychologist, because he saw one and he told him to just let it go (which is the problem). So he decided not to see one.
The thing is, he does not understand how devastating the fights were on the friendship. The last -big- fight, was 2 months ago, and he called me and my gf sluts. Yet, he expects me to be fine and not be defensive. I am still offended, and when I tell him that, he say "So you are gonna use that against me for ever?"
He always says I am avoiding him, that I don't want to call him, etc, and blames me for making his life awful. Always blaming me and my gf for screwing his life.
I used to enjoy my time with him, but now, after a countless number of fights, I am just sick of it. And although I explained to him, many times, how I spend even less time with him because of the fights, he still fights, and points the fingers on my girlfriend. I told him I understood my girlfriend was an issue before, but he just wouldn't understand that now he is annoying me, and negatively affecting my life. | My friend is constantly feeling bad because I am spending less time with my gf, and he fights me a lot, which makes me want to talk to him less. |
t3_2u9d4l | tifu | TIFU by having a full-retard moment. | So I'm a freshman in HS and today in global class we were going over the answers to last night's homework assignment. I was called on for the first answer. No big deal, I thought, I totally have the right answer so it's all good. The answer (which was right) was "Pope Urban II" however when I answered, in front of the whole class mind you, I said it as "Pope Urban Two", totally disregarding the fact that you're obviously supposed to say "Pope Urban The Second". Basically the teacher looked at me strangely as if I had called lettuce 'salad' (another embarrassing mistake of my past) and then corrected me. Everyone immediately laughed at and belittled me. I will never recover from this. I need to work on not randomly forgetting how to speak the English language. | I had a terrible brain slip up, read "II" as "Two" instead of "The Second" and now my life is ruined (not really tho). |
t3_1836y2 | AskReddit | What's the weirdest thing your parents have ever done? | So my first name was Johannes(1) and everyone had called me that for my entire life, then when I was 10 my parents saw a movie with a character they both really did enjoy and they said "Oh, it's a shame that we didn't name Johannes Vincent (2)" and then they got in to a discussion and came to the same agreement that they wanted to change my name, so they just sat me down at the kitchen table and said: "We have decided that we want you to be called Vincent" so they legally changed my name, and they started calling me Vincent no matter how hard I rejected it. All the schools I went to had the name Vincent in their database, but I insisted that they should call me Johannes.
When I became an adult I changed my name back, and my parents have stopped calling me Vincent, I think they "sobered up" so to speak and came to their senses and realized that it wasn't a cool thing to do.
So, now it's your turn, do you have a story like mine you would like to share? It would be fun for me to see that it's not only my parents that are batshit crazy.
1 & 2 = Neither of these names are my real name, I chose them now for this thread. | My parents changed my name when I was 10 and called me a new name for 8 years until I changed it back and they gave it a rest. |
t3_3yyjj9 | relationships | My [17F] brother [18M] doesn't respect my mom [50sF] and refuses to work | I'm currently a high school senior, and my brother started his first year in college. He recently finished his first semester. My mom has been paying for his college so far (she is a single parent). The only thing she has asked for him to do is to pay for his textbooks, transportation, etc. He has been able to do so because of what he had saved up from allowances basically, which amounted to ~$1000.
However, he's out of money and he has not found a job to pay for anything and he refuses to do anything but play games basically. I'm not bashing people playing games, as I spend a large amount of time doing so as well (but I'm a high school student and I do a little bit of part time work), but he does it waaaay too much.
He applied to maybe 2-3 places total but it's absolutely insane that he refuses to even help around the house normally or even try to apply to more. We live in an area where there have been job opportunities, and he goes to school where there are jobs nearby as well. He leaves home at around 10 or 11 from Monday through Thursday, so he has mornings and weekends to do a part time job.
Recently my mom and stepdad had propositioned him to help my stepdad build his house, and he had accepted, but earlier this morning they got in an argument and my stepdad closed the offer saying that he lacked respect, which wouldn't work in a working situation (especially since it's building things (in the cold) which my brother has no idea how to do).
It's really getting on me and my mom's last nerves and I really want to help him, but if we nag at him to do something he won't do it, and if we don't nag at him to do something he won't do it either. Is there any way to change his behavior? I guess my mom could stop paying for college but then there's a chance that he'd just laze around at home and not do anything either. :( | My brother won't find a job to pay for college and spends most of his (very spare) time playing video games. It's bothering my mom and me and we want him to take responsibility for himself. |
t3_1mal6u | relationships | My [20 M] GF [19F] likes to tell little white lies to prevent me getting jealous, how do I get her to stop? | We've been together for almost a year and a half and whenever we get in a situation where something might get me a bit jealous she has a habit of lying about it in order to spare my feelings. Everytime (at least I hope so) I figure it out on my own or find out later and it ends with me getting mad because dishonesty is my biggest turn-off in a relationship. If someone can't be honest and open with me after a while it becomes an issue.
Anyway, she always apologizes and promises to try her best not to but it always resurfaces at some point. What can I say to her to make her understand that this will become a very serious issue? I'd rather get to know now and feel a bit jealous later rather than find out later, get mad, and possibly see her in a bad light for concealing something. | GF likes to spare my feelings when she thinks I get jealous. I hate all forms of dishonesty. What can i say to her? |
t3_4slr4i | relationships | (Non-romantic) Me [29/F] was considering sending my BFF [29/F] & her SO [20s/M] a monetary gift, not sure if appropriate. | My BFF and I met about 6 years ago online and we've seen each other once a year for the last 5 years. Basically I consider her an older sister I never had.
She lives across country from me and she's endured some rough times over the last few years. She lives in an extremely tiny Midwest town where Walmart is the biggest employer. She works there part time.
Recently (less than 6 months ago) her partner lost his job and he's struggled to find work since. She alerted me to a promising lead and I sincerely hope it pans out for them but she's been lamenting that things have been hard on her part time income and his unemployment. On top of that, her dad has kidney cancer.
I recently sent her a gift I had picked up on some previous trips and I know she enjoyed it but, I want to do something nice for them. I was thinking of sending them $50 for dinner and $50 for movies and maybe more. I don't expect payment back in any form and she knows very well that I won't.
I also don't want her to feel bad. I'm just not sure if this is overstepping some kind of weird BFF boundary or how much is too much or would even sending money be insulting? | My BFF and her partner are struggling and I want to help out somehow. When is giving money considered insulting and how much is too much? |
t3_2cdx9c | relationships | Me 25M sometimes drift to thoughts about my ex after dry spell | I broke up with a very significant ex around a year ago. After breaking up with her it was really hard for me to be happy, and I didn't really feel alright by myself.
About six months ago I started dating, but I've faced this problem that I've been very picky. It's not that I haven't met anyone I had feelings for like my ex, there have been a few girls that have given me that really intense "I don't care about my past" feeling, but none that have wanted to date me.
These days, it's relatively easy-ish to get dates with random people (friends of friends, internet, etc...), but the likelihood of getting a date with someone I really like has been fairly low. I go out with people just to see what's out there, meet new people and experiences, etc...
But at some level I'd also like a relationship again, a real relationship with someone I was "naturally" attracted to and whom I got along with in a really easy way. I haven't found that, and from time to time I think back to my ex and how natural and simple things felt around her (nothing was forced, etc...).
At some level I know it's bad to feel this way, but I also think it feels natural to want that kind of connection. My ex was the last person I had it with, and these days it's easy to feel kind of "meh." I remember frequently how in love with someone I felt, and I easily think of my ex (since it puts a face to that feeling).
I don't want my ex back, but at the same time I haven't met anyone that fulfills that spot in my life, and I really want to love someone like that again. What do you do when you've had this kind of dry spell?
I've continued to date, but I continue to come up with people I think are cool, nice, and good people overall, but just not what I'm looking for in a loving relationship. I date them for a while but either it mutually fizzles out, or I realize I'm trying to force something that fundamentally doesn't work. | Been a long time since breaking up with ex, feeling down and sometimes go back to the thoughts of my ex since I remember loving her. |
t3_1vuwct | relationships | Barely seeing my[26m] GF[26f], and its starting to get to me. [2 years] | I'll start off by saying she is a single mom and has her son on weekdays, his father has him every weekend including Friday night, and his grandparents watch him every Wednesday for boy scouts.
When we first started dating I was able to see her and be alone with her every Wednesday and very often Friday night, all day Saturday and some of Sunday. It was a solid 3-4 days a week. We were both still in school, but no weekend classes so it didn't affect us.
Fast forward to 4 months ago. Her sons grandmother has had increasing health problems and can rarely babysit him on Wednesdays. So I havn't had my GF alone on a Wednesday now for a while. And her sons father is really sketchy and often cant take him on Friday for one reason or another. On top of that, she started working a alternating work schedule where she works every other weekend. And she is also in a winter semester at school.
It is really starting to bother me that I have only get to see her once a week for the past 3 months. Yes I do see her occasionally during the week when she has her son, but not often as I take night classes. And that time with her and her son is different and not romantic at all and I feel like she is pretty much focusing on him and I am just around.
I have brought it up to her that I need more alone time with her, but all she does is say she cant, that she has XYZ going on. I do understand she is not avoiding spending time with me, and she has other legitimate things going on that need her attention and I know I cant take away from, but I feel like I'm at the end of my rope only getting to be with her so few times a month, and half those times are after she has worked a 10 hour shift and doesnt get off until 8pm. We text or call every day, but thats not the same as actually being with someone. I love this girl and want to be with her, and know her schedule will change in the future, but I hate it right now. Can anyone give me some advise? | GF is a single mother, student, and a nurse. We went from seeing each other 3-4 times a week to only 1 and its really bothering me. |
t3_3kf5t9 | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [23M] talked to a cam girl about buying her pics behind my back | My [20F] boyfriend [23M] of a year and a half messaged a cam girl 3 months ago about buying some pics/jifs (he wanted a vid) from her for $20. He didn't go through with it, but I saw the messages the other night and I've been miserable. I feel like I can't trust him anymore.
It's worth mentioning that he has a fetish for paying for sexual things. He once (before we were dating, when he was single) used an escort for a blowjob, and says that was the last of his (physical) experiences with them.
I've found several conversations from before he and I were dating of him talking to escorts about how much he would pay them, what they would do, etc. He seems to just get off to the idea of the transaction/conversation.
I don't know whether I should give him another chance, but he seems really remorseful. He keeps saying he loves me way more than his fetish, and wants to earn my trust back.. My heart hurts :( | my boyfriend asked a cam girl about buying pics. I don't know how to trust him or even whether I should at this point |
t3_3fiqt1 | relationships | My [18F] Girlfriend of 2 months Said to me [19M] She will never do blowjobs need advice. | My gf and I have been together in a LDR for 2 months and we have had no arguements or disagreements. We were on the topic of sex last night where I said I love blowjobs and she instantly replied "I will never do blowjobs for anybody. I hate them and I have a horrible gag reflex." I tried to ask not ever in the future? Again she replied with no. I asked could she work on it in the future and again she said no.
We are in a LDR so I understand it might be diffrent if we lived by eachother but I don't want it to become a problem down the road and we end things messy. It is one of the best realtionships ive ever had with someone but it also bothers me a lot she won't work on it in the future
So I need your advice what should I do? | LDR Girlfriend said she will never give me a blowjob and it's kinda a dealbreaker for me. |
t3_3ine83 | tifu | TIFU by smoking weed with my brother | So this fuck up happened around 2 months ago and I just got reminded of it today so I thought I would share it with you all.
Anyways on to the FU. So It was 10 am and I had just finished a shift at work. I was looking to blow off some steam after being abused by customers all day so I texted my brother to see if he wanted to have a blaze. He was keen so I headed over to his apartment. We got the bong ready and headed out onto his balcony to have a session. Here is where FU #1 happened. In our haste to get outside we shut the door to the balcony and it was locked. I of course burst out laughing and it was only increased by the level of rage
Apparent on his face. He literally said "oh god I cannot spend 7 hours with astonrs outside" so we had to come up with a Plan.
First we got nice and blazed and a plan came into our minds. He would just hop off his balcony onto the neighbour's one and go through their sliding door and through there apartment.
Without another word he was off. He somehow made it across and then realized that their balcony door wasn't open. Fuck
He knew he had to get off this balcony so he did what any sensible stoned person would do. He jumped off the balcony 2 stories up into the car park.
He broke both is legs and I just had to sit up there watching him laughing my ass off for an hour until someone came. | got stoned with the bro. Inside we could no longer go. He went for the jump. And landed on his rump. |
t3_4vrk86 | relationships | 26M. My family and friends think I'm gay and it hurts. | I'm not gay and I know it. I've never been attracted to men and never do anything remotely gay. I feel like I have to "prove" I'm straight. My parents even question me and I simply told them that is an unfounded accusation with no proof.
I show no interest in women. I don't talk about it much but I've had so many negative experiences with women I've been beat down. I'm totally apathetic to dating and just say "Fuck it" and do my own thing. Even if I do get another gf it will likely fail. I'm not compatible with most girls. I find girls attractive but too mentally exhausting. All the work and effort just to fail.... To give you some stats I got about 50 girls numbers in a row (over time). I could not turn one into a relationship... Not one... And no I didn't shotgun, I actually tried for each one. I put myself out online (secretly) and my success was abysmal. Once again I actually tried... I didn't just shotgun "DTF?" | People think I'm gay... I'm not and it's hard to prove. My last relationship was 3 years ago and ice shown no interest since. |
t3_3kwmop | relationships | I'm [25 M] such an idiot I can't even walk up and talk to her | Over time my self esteem has gone from bad to worse. I just got done with a lecture now, all I had to do was walk up to her but of course that was hard. We've talked once before. It went well. A week ago. I had to go up to her and talk to her. I waited for her to look at me and she looked really quickly as we were exiting the hall then looked away again. She didn't even smile at me or anything which completely demotivated me to say hi to her. I just don't know anymore. Now I'm heading home cause walking up to her now after that awkward encounter would be.... Awkward. | I'm pathetic cause I couldn't even say hi to her because she would only look at me for a split second. |
t3_2ind20 | relationships | I (20female) worried about my ex (20male) coping with breakup | I (20female) known my ex (20male) around 10 years started dating around 6 months.
We loved each other a lot but went back to university and his is over 5 hours away. He wanted to go on a break on good terms so we could get back in the future but I never wanted it.
He ended up sleeping with someone and now I don't want to get back with him solely because he could do it that quickly and don't think I could trust him.
Anyway now I hear he's been trying to start fights in clubs and doing games when he's drunk which involves hurting himself
I rang him and pleaded for him to stop this but he just said he couldn't promise anything. | How can I deal with this situation? It's hurting me so much that this is happening but I don't want to get back with him |
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