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t3_1xz06a | AskReddit | Do you believe someone who cheated in a relationship cannot be faithful to another person? | I am female.
My last partner and I were long distance, and towards the end where we were messing each other about I cheated on him and had a drunken one night stand. I knew what I was doing, no blame falls on drinking. He never found out, and we mutually broke up over a different thing.
I am with my current partner and he doesn't know. If I find another guy attractive, it doesn't cross my mind to cheat on my partner. There have been points in time where I could have cheated and gotten away with it, and I haven't because I love him. | I cheated in one relationship, found the "right guy" and don't think I could ever cheat again, despite having the opportunity to do so. |
t3_2gkr5e | tifu | TIFU by requesting my SIL's husband to be my match on 3nder...whoops | So, I was setting a profile up on 3nder for my husband and myself to find a lady fwb. It gave me an option to "verify" my relationship on facebook and figuring what the hell, I searched my husband's name. Not thinking about it, I tapped the first "John Smith" to come up. Now, my husband and brother in law both have the same first and last name. I glanced at the picture AS IT SENT THE REQUEST.... and it's my brother in law. Tried everything but in my panic couldn't revert it. I just terminated the account but I assume he'll still receive some type of notification.
SIL and BIL already hate me because of reasons I won't list here. But let's just say this is another nail in my coffin. Honestly, the first thing I did was laugh because she [SIL] is probably going to get all uptight and angry about it. Oh well! | ! I requested my husband's BIL to be in a relationship with me via 3nder. [Threesome finding app] |
t3_1vjwr8 | relationships | Should I [26/M] invite my annoying co-worker [26/M] of one year to my birthday party? | This is the situation, I work at a company with big overlays every year, alot of people quit and alot of new people get employed every year. Last time this happened a group of 4 new people joined our organization and they formed a group.
I got to know these 4 people, and I like 3 of them, but the 4th one has major personality problems and is overall just annoying. People don't like him because of this, he is no fun to have around.
The situation is this though, that my birthday is coming up, and I'm going to have a get-together, I want to invite the three people that I like from "the new group" but I don't want to invite him, problem is that it's going to be super clear that I made an active decision not to invite him then, because those 4 go togheter.
That might cause a situation at work, and he sometimes hosts get-togheters and he invites me (which I don't understand since he is not allowing me to have normal conversations with him anymore, he just tries to mimick my accent horribly and again, it just annoys me).
So what do I do? Do I let him come to avoid a possible problem at work? Or is there some way to weasel out of this? | New annoying co-worker belongs to a group that I want to invite to my birthday party, but I would prefer to leave him out but I don't know if I can? |
t3_3vrxqh | tifu | TIFU by not knowing my high school mate's name | Obligatory this didn't happen today but a few months ago, at the start of the semester. When I just started college.
So as you know when you go to college you meet all these new people and stuff. Well, I met a guy from my high school who's name I did not remember at the time. His name was Nicolas. Nicolas and I went to the same Math class together but we only had like 2 sessions at the time so I haven't really gotten to talking to him yet. So one afternoon I was in the canteen going to order food, and he happened to go to the same stall and lined up behind me. He initiates the conversation and we talk about college and stuff. Well towards the end as we were about to part ways he asks for my phone number. I told him that I had a new number so I haven't memorized it yet, instead I asked for his then I would just call him. That's where the tifu happened.
I was on my iphone and pressed create new contact, he was right beside me looking at my phone. That was when I realized that all those times I've been only calling him "dude" and "bro". So I was at the text box for the First name and for a good 5-10 seconds my fingers were just there and I was just staring at my screen realizing my mistake..... Trying to recall his name. At the time, simply asking for his name did not come to my mind and so I just wrote a random name which was "Renzo" (i don't know why I guess I thought he looked like a Renzo) and proceeded to ask for his number...
I had to search his name on my friends list on facebook to know his name.
We haven't talked about the incident but I'm sure he remembers. We are on pretty good terms now though. | Asked for friend's phone number while he was beside me, Realized I didn't know his name while creating the contact with him staring at my phone. |
t3_1tlgyl | relationships | My [27 F] SO completely freaked out after landing in her city and renting a car, asking me [31 M] not to come for Christmas. | Ten month relationship. It started with her telling me how worried she was about Christmas shopping for me, and a few hours later she said she thought she had h1n1 and to not come. She contacts me a few hours later telling me that she's call me from the icu. I never receive a call, and text her late that night saying how selfish it was to say that you are too sick to see me and in the hospital, and then never follow up. She calls the next morning asking me how long I'm in town, trying to set up plans for the 30th. I tell her to not worry about plans to see me right now and just get better and I hope she has a good Christmas. She sounds angry and ends the call abruptly. Completely shocked I text her telling her how much I love her and saying I logically don't know how to take that. She sends a message back about how I'm disappointed at not seeing her and how this is probably emotional blackmail, and how she has a job an a kid to think about and how she doesn't have time I entertain a guest while sick. She goes on to say how bad it is she feels ambivalent and that I am just a guest, and then ends it.
---
I don't understand this on a very basic level. We've never fought, and I love her completely, I had to move away for a few months, and Have now come back to not even being allowed to see the person I've loved more then anyone in the world. I tried calling and ended up leaving a message about how I loved her and wouldn't try to manipulate her feelings, about how when I said I love you that meant her career and child were important things in my life, but also how I'm sad that this all seems to be over. I'm sitting in front of her apartment and it feels like a mistake, she's not home anyway ( despite being sick ). What should I do? | Girlfriend told me not to come after I flew out on a planned visit, and is acting like I'm an acquaintance. I don't know what to do or how to stop this from hurting. |
t3_4douh9 | relationships | I (26F) moved in with my parents (50s M/F) recently. I hear them having sex a lot. I'm feeling really awkward. | As the title states, I recently moved back in with my parents. I was living in City A, they are in City B. The cities are about two hours apart. I got a fantastic job in City B, moved out of my apartment, and started my new job last week. The reason I moved back in with my parents is because I didn't find an apartment in time, I'm still paying rent on my old place and it helps save money, etc.
My parents were absolutely encouraging to me moving in with them. They even suggested it when we talked about how I hadn't found a place yet!
Living with my parents has been good. We're close. That being said, an... Awkward situation has come up.
I hear my parents having sex almost every night.
Now, I'm not a prude. I know people have sex. I know my parents have sex. And they're not screaming or anything. But an old house with thin walls means I do hear the moans. Lots and lots of moans. And I hear their old mattress creaking loudly. And... It's awkward.
Is there anything I can do? Haha. I cannot believe I'm even posting this.
Before anyone asks, no, I'm not paying rent to my parents. | I recently had to move in with my parents for a temporary basis until I find a place. My parents love each other, I love them. But I hear them having sex. A lot. |
t3_2f9r4m | relationships | I [23F] slept with someone while long-term partner [22M] and I were broken up, now we're getting back together. Do I tell him or not? | My ex of 4 years and I broke up a couple of months ago. It was a messy breakup and we stayed in contact intermittently throughout it. Eventually, he asked to get back together, and I agreed. I'm very happy about reuniting with him, but I have an ethical quandary on my hands. I had a one-time fling with a friend of a friend while we were broken up, and I'm wondering if I am obligated to tell him or not. I think this information would needlessly upset him, because it wasn't long after our breakup, but since we're getting back together, does he deserve to know what he's getting into? I wouldn't want to eventually marry this guy and keep that secret from him, but I also don't feel he technically has a right to know because we weren't together when it happened.
Another ethical question: Do I get an STD test? He used a condom and it didn't break or anything, but all I ever hear from doctors is "there's ALWAYS a small risk" so I don't know if I should get one or not. I don't want to endanger my ex's health.
So what's the verdict? I would prefer to maintain a "don't ask, don't tell" policy (I'm almost 100 percent sure he didn't sleep with anyone, but I'd rather not discuss it and just move on from our breakup completely). But if it's necessary to tell him to repair the relationship, I feel I owe him that consideration. | Had a one-night stand after breakup, now ex and I are getting back together. Does he need/deserve to know? |
t3_2vpoe7 | relationships | My [22M] gf's [20F] brother [26M] is in love with total scum [22F] and their family doesn't know what to do | So ever since I've been seeing my girlfriend of two years she and her family have expressed discontent with her brother's on again off again girlfriend, we'll call her Michy.
She is a horrible person who everyone is pretty sure does not actually love her brother. She uses him for money and sees as many guys as she wants using them for money and sex, even being engaged to one guy she has no intentions of marrying) but still maintains some sort of relationship (if you could call it that) with her brother because he is the most devoted to her. And the worse part is he does not seem to care. She uses him and sees other people but as soon as he starts to veer off her path she comes back and sinks her claws right back in to him in a succubus-like manner.
He's in the Navy currently so he's away most of the time but whenever he comes back you can be sure you will see her around as well. Their family (minus my gf is mom, dad, sister) has even gone to the extent of voicing their distaste of her and banning her from their abode. Her sister has even almost gotten to a fight with her but they still have not managed to shoo her away.
If her scandalous and philandering ways weren't enough to leave a bad taste in your mouth she also tries to imply to their family that he loves her more than them and will talk about her sex life with him openly and nonchalantly with them around. She has also said she wants to get married to a few rich guys, get divorced and eventually settle for him. It is just so twisted how she could feel that comfortable admitting all these gross and ugly things to them like they wouldn't only wish the best for him and his happiness.
The past few days my girlfriend has been getting extremely riled up about this even to the point of crying for her brother's well being and I was just wondering what can we/they do about this? Meddling too much would only make this worse but is there anything that can be done to help him see the light? | Super scummy girlfriend of my girlfriend's brother is terrorizing her brother and family and I was just looking for advice to help them rid her from their lives for good |
t3_2uen1n | relationships | 31 M caught in a boom bust cycle. Has any relationship successfully managed to get out of the boom and bust cycle? | Hi Reddit,
My gf(26 F) are in a tough spot with fighting often. There have been a few cases where we have broken up and gotten back together after a short time. Last night she broke up with me because something minor and me trying to change how things go in the relationship. (me chasing her and apologizing for everything) I love her with all my heart and I am certain she loves me as well.
I am currently seeing a counselor (which has been very helpful) and she previously agreed go in order to help our relationship as well. No I don't want to cut it off and walk and way. I want to be with her and we have been making plans to start a new life together.
We are both bad about setting boundaries. I am horrible about setting them and she sends mixed messages about hers (Her expectations are that I should disregard when she says she doesn't want to see me or that she wants to be left alone). There are some cultural issues that make it a bit tough as well.
I will edit this even further I just don't know what to write in a post like this (it's my first time)
How about it Reddit? How many of you managed to ride out the boom and bust cycle and make it work? Is my relationship doomed or is there a way for this to work out the way I want it to? | I am currently caught in a boom and bust cycle and I am trying to get out of it. I also would like some hope that things will work out. |
t3_4zm7pz | relationships | Friend F[24] won't talk to me M[25] | Okay so kind of long story I 25[M] fell in love with my best friend F[24] I didn't tell her because she has already made it clear she does not like me that way in any sense. My therapist said I should spend some time apart from her and that should help me get over her. I told her I needed to take break from drinking which is mostly what we do together I did not want to tell her why because she has been in this situation with a friend loving her before and it made her feel bad not liking him back and it ruined their friendship
I know she is upset that I did not want to tell her why I wanted to stop drinking and she thinks I don't want to be friends anymore even though I made it clear that this not hanging thing is temporary and I will always be her friend.
Now she will not respond to me at all and we are supposed to go to a concert together in a couple of days we already bought the tickets. She won't say anything to me what should I do?? | had falling out with friend and we are supposed to go to concert we already have tickets for but she will not respond to me |
t3_4z30r0 | relationships | My best friend's dad gave me money to keep secret his affair with another woman. What should I do? | So there's a nice little golf resort just under 100 miles from the city where I (18m) live. I went there this past weekend with some of my cousins who were visiting from out of state and that's where it all happened.
We had just done 2 rounds when we headed to the bar and to my greatest shock, there was Mr Smith (45m) {not real name} with another woman who clearly was not Mrs Smith. They were having wine and Mr Smith was constantly touching her face and hair. Our eyes met and we waved at each other but I could tell he had become very uncomfortable and they left no more than 5 minutes after.
Fast forward to yesterday, me, my dad(46m), Mr Smith and Jamie(Mr Smith's son & my best friend) all went to play tennis together as we normally do every other week. It was here that he asked me if I had told Jamie about what I saw and I told him no, I hadn't. He then asked me to keep it a secret and slipped what turned out to be $600 into my hands and said "lets let it stay between me and you then" and then asked me if we had an understanding, to which I just nodded.
I've been friends with Jamie(18m) since kindergarten and our families are pretty tight. I honestly just don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone besides my two cousins but I feel incredibly guilty and anxious about this whole thing. If I don't tell Jamie, and he somehow finds out that I knew and accepted bribe money I believe it'll be the end of our friendship. I've thought about telling him but I honestly can't even bring myself to starting a conversation like that. What if I do tell him and his family breaks up because of it? Or worse, what if I tell him and he doesn't believe me? Either way I just hate that I'm even in this situation. I resent Jamie's father also for putting me in it. What should I do? | Best friend's dad offered me money to keep his affair secret. Should I tell any way or keep out of it? |
t3_t6rhr | AskReddit | What is the most disgusting, mortifying story you have to offer reddit? | I just saw something on here that made me think of this story.
I don't exactly remember who told me this, as it was a while back, but i will do my best to relay it to you guys. One of my friend's cousins was dating this super hot girl. They haven't been dating that long at this point, but one night things started to get pretty wild over at their place. In the name of foreplay his girlfriend stuck a starburst up her hoo hah and told him to go and get it. So as he performs oral on her, he wraps his tongue around what seems to be the starburst and eats it. The night goes on and you can pretty much guess what happens. Fast forward a couple weeks. The guy goes and visits the doctor for a very sore throat. Doc inspects his throat, and sees warts everywhere on the inside. Doc then asks if he has performed oral with his partner any time in the not so distant past. He informs doc of his and his girlfriends antics. The doctor then comes to the conclusion that the "starburst" he ate was actually a condensed "ball" of herpes.
I may have left out some details, but it is still disgusting nontheless. Your turn reddit! | Girl shoves starburst up vajayjay, guy goes after it. Eats starburst. Doc informs him weeks later that starburst was actually condensed herpes. |
t3_4zassm | relationships | I [23F] feel trapped in relationship with [28M] BF, and the only way out is to be more dependent on him | I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, living together for a year now. Lately, I've finally realized I no longer want to be together. He makes me feel awful about myself, belittles me, tells me how he can do so much better than me, ect.
However, I feel trapped. About 9 months ago we moved across the country for his work, which meant I had to leave my job. He asked me to just become a stay at home girlfriend- and I did- but it's left me with no way to leave and support myself. I have a very specific career field, and I've been applying to jobs- but now that it's been 9 months, nobody will hire me. UNLESS I pay to go to training, which he is completely willing to pay for (but he doesn't know it's to leave him, he thinks I just want to work again). I don't have family or friends or anyone else to stay with or anywhere to live while I get on my feet. But, I feel like it would be awful to stay with him and let him pay for this training just so I can get back to supporting myself and leave.
What would you do? | I feel financially trapped into living with my boyfriend. He's willing to help me get back on my feet, but he doesn't realize it's to leave him. Should I take it? |
t3_1yq3nq | jobs | What to do if you lose someone's favor? | Over the summer, I had an internship which I ended up doing pretty well in and received favorable reviews from my team leader and coworkers. As a result, I was even able to receive a job offer which I later accepted.
As I started up school again, I kept in touch here and there with my colleagues from the summer and everything appeared to be okay. I made sure not to overburden them with too many emails so that they wouldn't get annoyed (I sent maybe 4-5 emails since last August).
Within the past 2-3 months, however, they no longer reply to my emails. I'm not quite sure what went wrong, but I feel like I somehow soured my professional relationship with them. My only guesses is that maybe I asked for something I shouldn't have? (i.e. I asked for the email of another colleague who I forgot to get before the summer ended. This was to help me reach out for help on a side project I thought that person could give insight on. I never received a reply.) Recently, I also reached out to see how they were doing and asked for a recommendation. Still no reply (it has been over a week and they used to be pretty responsive).
What do you do in this type of situation in order to gain someone's favor you may have lost? | Haven't received communication from coworkers from this past summer, feel like I lost favor with them, what can I do to fix this? |
t3_19cdap | relationships | [17M] Have to stop talking to my girlfriend of 4 months [16F] because of her strict, religious family.. | A little background info: I am 17, she is 16. We come from religious Muslim families, though we are not as religious. Her brothers are assholes, and if they found out we would be in deep shit.
Things went great for 4 months, and for some reason she took the passcode off her phone (she says her father asked her why she had, he then made her take it off) and her brothers proceeded to go through it, reading our texts and exposing our relationship. They end up telling her parents, and shit the roof.
They took her sim card out, factory reset her phone, and banned us from ever talking. There is, however a catch. She told them that she was willing to marry me to make it right. Her parents said she needs to wait 9 years until she has a degree and a steady job to even consider marrying me. So tell me... What do I do? Im just so lost....
# | have to stop talking to the girl of my dreams because of her strict religious family, have to wait 9 years to even see her again |
t3_3zjeng | relationships | Me [22 F] with [23 M] - is having dinner with a girl who likes him a red flag? | I've been dating Stephen- a great guy- for a couple of months. We're dating exclusively at this point, but taking things slowly. We're both on the same page when it comes to wanting to get to know someone very well before letting things get serious.
Last night, Stephen was over and asked casually if I would mind if he went for dinner with Naomi. Naomi studies in his university class, and they went to secondary school together. He has told me previously that she's liked him since they were 16. I asked about the dinner plans and he said that she's invited him to her house, which they have done previously. We discussed it a little more and I asked why they have never got together, as it seems like they have a lot in common.
He told me that they've never clicked on a deeper than superficial level, and that she's too vanilla for him. He also said that he knows she's cheated on guys before, and that's a huge turn off for him. He did not say "she's a very good friend"- from the way he spoke about her, it seemed like they weren't very close. The conversation ended with me telling him that I didn't mind if he went for dinner with a friend.
Now, I'm thinking about things and wondering whether continuing to date Stephen is a good idea. Stephen and I have a great relationship, but I can't imagine going for a one on one dinner at the house of a guy who was interested in me, unless I reciprocated his feelings. I do not think Stephen has feelings for Naomi, but that just makes me think he likes the attention she gives him, which isn't very attractive. Am I thinking about things too much/being overly paranoid? To me, this just seems like drama waiting to happen, but I really need some outside perspectives so I don't just throw away a good thing. | Guy I'm dating is going for dinner at the house of a girl who has been interested in him for years, despite the fact they don't seem like close friends. Is this a red flag? |
t3_2dbjxo | Advice | Failure to create openness/communication in relationship | So I'm with this guy. Mostly everything's going dandy, but there's one thing that's missing for me.
Basically, I notice I feel nervous around him at times, I'm afraid to share personal things with him and be vulnerable, because my brain thinks that if I do or say stuff he doesn't like, he might not like me as much. I still do try to share things, in part because I find that tends to be the most efficient way to work things out if there is any kind of issue, in part because I want sharing to be a part of any relationship I have. It's just scary as fuck. I think the reason might be that he rarely ever shares any thoughts or feelings with me, and I've never seen him vulnerable.
We've tried to talk it over, but I just can't get through to him with what it is that I need, what I mean with openness/sharing. I'm pretty sure he genuinely doesn't get the concept of it, which makes sense given that his former experiences afaik have not given him the opportunity to have good experiences opening up. I've suggested that he simply share little things throughout his day, but he says there is simply nothing beyond the surface, that he doesn't really have many thoughts and feelings that he doesn't share.
I don't really know where to go from here. I'd really appreciate any kind of outside advice, comment, or idea! How do we solve this? | I'm trying to open up to this guy (and have it be reciprocal), but it's not working. Halp? |
t3_4y6bom | relationships | I(21m) feel like I love my girlfriend(24f) more than she loves me and I am not sure how to fix it. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months. She has a 3 year old daughter (who I am very fond of) and she is recently divorced. When we first met I never intended to be anything more than friends but we grew to fall for one another pretty quickly.
My problem is that I know for a fact that I love her more than she loves me. I would sacrifice anything to make sure her and her child have what they need but she doesn't ever seem to sacrifice for me. It takes her about 2 to 3 hours to reply to my text often and when she is out with friends she doesn't reply to me until she gets home. It frustrates me because it makes me feel like I am not a priority to her even though she swears that I am. I have fallen into the habit of becoming clingy and very needy because I wonder why I am not deserving of her undying love. She always tells me how grateful she is for the things that I do and that she wishes she could do more for me and be more for me.
When we are together she is very affectionate and she seems like she is very happy to be with me it's just when we are away from one another. She says she misses me all of the time but it doesn't really seem like it and I often feel as though if I ended the relationship it would have no affect on her whatsoever even though she says it would.
I understand that she is dealing with a lot so I try to accept that answer but I just need to know if there is some way that I can make it so that she loves me just as much as I love her? | I love my girlfriend more than she loves me and although she says she is happy with it because she basically controls everything I often find myself feeling uneasy and dissatisfied. |
t3_zq4bi | AskReddit | 5 minutes after receiving the key for our new place, we found out our next door neighbor is a mentally insane war vet that who's known for causing problems and damage throughout the building. What the fuck do we do? | We've been checking out the place for months before buying it, and everything is fine with the apartment itself, but what the previous owners failed to mention is that their next door neighbor is a fucking psychopath. We asked about him and they claimed he was a normal old guy and that we won't be seeing much of him anyway. We signed the contract, payed a fuckton of money for it, got the keys and went there to take measures. We were greeted by this guy who first scared the crap out of my mom and I talking about how someone is trying to assassinate him and how we should be careful because they might rape and kidnap me, regular psycho conspiracy bullshit but it was obvious this guy is insane and we have to live next to him for at least 5 to 10 years. The next day we called the building manager who explained that this guy is crazy, and rarely violent. He did try to break in to our apartment while it was empty before we bought it, but he doesn't have proof so the police can't do anything. This guy actually resigned because of him. He can't get kicked out because everyone owns their apartments here, and no one wants to touch him because, well, he's a lunatic.
There's also a little storage room on the floor our apartments are at that we bought with the place but we can't even touch it because that guy claims it's a shared area, even though we have the papers of ownership and we sure as hell don't want to get on his bad side. My mom went there today to change the locks and he kept knocking on the doors and ringing the bell, talking about whatever conspiracies he thought of at the time and my mom was scared shitless.
The fuck do we do? | Moved in next to crazy pycho guy, just mom and me, can't do anything legal wise, guy is known to cause problems around the building but no one can touch him because they're scared of him. |
t3_10dk6s | relationships | [F16] said she needs a break about a week ago. I [m17] don't exactly know what to do. | So last week my girlfriend of 8 months told me she needed a break and wanted to know if being in a relationship was best for her because she has been in relationships for most of middle school and high school. I mainly just wanted her to be happy so I didn't argue with it and said she has her break.
Now I know we are high schoolers, but I really like this girl. Me and her got alone very well and never fought. But she did have a tendency to flirt with other guys a lot. Me and her both got very jealous over each other. I addressed the fact that it bothered me and she said it was just her personality. I soon got tired of getting jealous. So me being the genius that I am, decided to deal with it by ignoring her whenever she flirted with other guys and just not acting like me. We soon started to talk less and less and then she said she needed a break.
I still hope I can back with this girl a lot. People keep telling me to make her jealous and she will come back. At the end she did tell me "this may just be temporary. I don't expect you to be there for me if it is though". I don't know exactly what to do. I know I made the mistake of ignoring her towards the end of the relationship and I have started being me again. Do you think that all that it was was me being an idiot? | girlfriend says she needs a break, don't know if it was just me being an idiot, or if she doesn't want a relationship anymore. |
t3_2o5oqv | cats | Elderly Escape Artist Currently Missing | Pic of the culprit:
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My 14 year old indoor cat has had a number of "adventures" including one about 8 years ago that lasted over three weeks in the city, but he came back filthy and unharmed. He's neutered, but de-clawed (front) and I live close to a city park so there are a number of strays and other animals in the neighborhood and I try my best to keep him safely inside.
Over the past few years he's been trying to get out a lot more frequently, and yesterday he managed to slip out the door without my noticing and spent the night in freezing temps. I didn't realize it until this morning and wasn't able to find him by walking around and calling before I had to leave. Obviously this is nothing new to me so I'm trying not to worry too much, but at the moment he's still out somewhere and I'm at work.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone knows why he would be doing this? Is this common behavior for older cats? Sometimes during warmer weather I allow him to go out and lay on the lawn with supervision and he usually chews on grass, but I was never sure if this was a nutritional craving for greens. I feed him Purina One urinary tract health kibble (he had a history of UTIs when he was younger)
My girlfriend suggested I put food out for him but I was thinking it would be better to do so while I'm there so I could let him in if he shows up. She thinks it would help keep him around the house until I can get back. Thoughts? | Old, neutered/de-clawed kitty likes to sneak outside. Got out again last night & I'm worried for his safety. |
t3_10s75r | AskReddit | I live with very conservative Catholic roommates who I clash with on many topics. It's a struggle to talk to them about anything regarding religion, politics, or social issues without being ganged up on and talked over. So Reddit, how can I successfully and respectfully dialogue with them? | Basically, I room with 5 other girls in college. All but one are very conservative, very Catholic, and very set in their ways.
They give my other roommate and I (let's say her name is Sam) a lot of crap for not going to church everyday or for drinking at a friend's house or (in my case) leaning on the more Democratic side of the political field.
I don't want it to sound like they're horrible people. They're not. We have a great time together as long as the topics of religion and politics aren't brought up. I just have no idea how to interact with them when they get into one of their ranting moods that degrade me as a person as well as my beliefs.
I need your help, Reddit. How do I successfully dialogue with them and help them to see my side of the story without being ganged up upon and practically shunned? | 4 conservative roommates won't listen/see my side of arguments regarding religion and politics. How can I successfully dialogue and not be ganged up on? |
t3_d50u2 | AskReddit | What should a college student do with an extra 3k/semester? | So, here's the story -I go to a pretty big school in the Midwest, and I took out a federal loan to pay for my last year in college. During the application, I elected to let the school decide the borrowable amount (rather than specify a number which might be too high/too low). Furthermore, I elected to defer payment until I graduate, which is in a little over a year. Letting the school decide was a bad idea since they overestimated the amount I needed, netting me about a 6k surplus over two semesters (they split the loan in half per semester). I realize the error now but its done, the money is coming. I know the smartest thing to do off the bat would be to pay back the loan, but because I already deferred, I must wait until that period ends. I don't want to spend the money, rather I would like to invest it - in something. I don't know much about the stock market, etc, but maybe someone could tell me the best way to handle this? I feel like there are more proactive ways to handle the money rather than let it sit in a checking account or a 1% savings account. | I will have in total $6,000 that I would like to manage in a way beneficial to me, but I know little about investing - help! |
t3_34kyas | relationships | How long does the honeymoon phase last? | I (23 F) have been dating my boyfriend (22 M) for about 7 or so months and I feel like it's been going so well that it's almost too good to be true. We met each other this past year in grad school and spend a significant amount of time together everyday. We get along great, and he puts me in a good mood every time I'm with him. We have yet to get in a fight and everything really has gone so effortlessly (saying I love you, meeting each other's families, exchanging keys).
My college boyfriend (23 M) of 3 years and I fought all the time. We pretty much had this consistent tension but I think that was more so just the way we meshed together. Also, he never wanted to talk about the future until I was in the midst of breaking up with him. Im experiencing the complete opposite with my current boyfriend and am finding myself unexpectedly head over heels. Are we still in the honeymoon phase or have I just hit the jackpot? | Things are going perfect w boyfriend of 7 months. New experience for me and not sure if we're just in the honeymoon phase or not. Looking for thoughts from people that have experienced a similar situation. |
t3_2xrluu | relationships | Me [21M] in turmoil with my best friend [21 F] currently getting railed by one of my roommates [21M] | I honestly don't know what to do right now. My friend Kat and I grew up in the same neighborhood and went to school together since we were kids. I've known her my entire life and thought I knew everything about her. We shared secrets, dreams, goals. We were each other's prom date when we couldn't find anyone else. Now we are going to the same college and it's been honestly really great to have someone close by to do things with since it's far from home.
The problem is that right now my headphones are blasting IYRTITL and trying to drown out the sound of her hooking up with my friend & roommate. It's been going on for the last 3 hours. It's easily the most raunchy things I've ever heard. I feel like I'm in a fucking sitcom where the bed is banging so loudly against the wall it's going to break through. It's worse because he told me he hooked up with this girl all day yesterday and gave me all of the filthy details when were out earlier. Now I realize that this was my closest friend and I can't get the images out of my head. This is probably the reason why she said she was over her exgirlfriend so quickly. OMFG as I am writing this the song is still playing and I can hear her saying she wants him to fuck her harder with his massive cock. I literally can't wrap my head around this so much to process. I texted my girlfriend to see if I could come over but she's already asleep. what the fuck is hapenning, I don't know if I can look at them in the eyes tomorrow | It's 2.30 AM and the girl I have been best friends with is having the loudest sex humanly possible with my roommate. I can't sleep, and it's driving me crazy. Wtf will I do |
t3_1vc25e | relationship_advice | I [21 F] just found out my boyfriend [25] of 1 year called an escort for sex | Last night he got a text from a number saying "hi". He said he didn't know the number. We were laying in bed and I had his phone, so I jokingly replied hi back. The next text back was the person saying "hey babe want to meet"? My heart sunk but he still denied knowing the number. Fast forward to tonight, I texted the number and found back that the number was an escort. She said that he had called wanting to have sex, but nothing happened.
I don't know how to approach him about this, but I want to and will. I feel guilty because I have been depressed and not wanting intimacy from him. And I guess I just need someone to talk to... | Found out my bf called an escort wanting sex, but never went through with it (as far as I know...) |
t3_1odpxm | relationships | How did your (or someone else's) relationship survive a massive betrayal? | I [23M] fucked up, in a big way, by betraying my girlfriend's [21F] trust. It's been a few months since I came clean, and I'm asking reddit to take my word for it that I've been doing everything I can to make up for it.
Day to day, we're fine, sometimes great, just like your average imaginary couple. But every once in a while, something will remind her about my betrayal, and it's like we go straight back to that hell, starting from square one and clawing our way to get back to "normal". We both hate this pattern, but she feels helpless from feeling this way whenever she's reminded of it, and I feel helpless when it happens of being able to... do anything. "Just make sure nothing ever reminds her of it", feels like too much like an unhealthy, short-term solution.
Reddit, do you know of any relationships (friends of friends, your own relationship, historical, famous, whatever) that have survived a massive betrayal to have a long-term strong and healthy relationship? If so, what did they do? How did they do it? | We hate falling back into this abyss that my betrayal caused. How do we/I strengthen our relationship so that we don't forget this, but grow beyond it instead? |
t3_2a4gum | relationship_advice | [20/m] Uncertain situation with a [21/f] and a ploy gone terribly wrong | I've a huge crush on this one girl who is way out of my league. We've met maybe twice last year, talked on facebook quite a bit, but she had a boyfriend, so I kind of abandoned all hope. This year, however, we went to a concert together, and she broke the news to me that they aren't together anymore (2 months ago, maybe?) We've met once again a month ago, and spent a quite a few hours together. Nothing intimate has come out of it. These were the only few successful attempts to meet with her-there were plenty invitations that she dismissed (although for legitimate reasons.)
So, here's where I decided to try a little ploy: I purposefully put myself in a position where I needed her specific skills to get me out of it. And she did help me out a few times, at first. But then I got a little bit too needy, and she outright refused to help me. Now, I don't know what to do. I think of giving her a present, as a token of gratitude for the help, and finally make my intentions clear. | never admitted any true intentions (although they should be more than obvious, given the persistence with which I invited her to random things,) tried to pull off [Ben Franklin] it backfired. |
t3_4stgm3 | relationships | Non-Romantic - Advice requested on how to talk to my boss about their quality of work/mental health. | Throwaway because my main account could identify me and my company. I've worked for the same small company for almost 10 years now and have a close relationship with the owner and other employees. I'm now in an upper level position here and someone my boss trusts, but I'm not sure how to bring up a sensitive issue.
The problem is thus: he's run the place as the ultimate decision maker for 30 years but he doesn't seem to be able to keep up with his responsibilities anymore. He insists on working with our crews of employees but drags everyone down now, is consistently the worst member of the crew. He's forgetting how things have always been done and making strange decisions that make us less productive and frustrate his lower employees. And for those of us in management, he insists he's doing work constantly only to dump unfinished projects in our laps frustrated after they are already overdue. Yet he won't let us just take care of these duties for him for whatever reason. He won't return phone calls or even fill out paperwork to make operations run smoothly, but is frustrated that things aren't going well.
He's getting older and I'm concerned that his mental health could be deteriorating. He is often asking me questions to things he taught me years ago. Between out of work activities taking up most of his time and a refusal to hand over any responsibilities, nothing is getting done and he's still tired and frustrated.
I'm incredibly concerned. I care about the owner and company a lot and I worry what would happen to him if we are shut down, not to mention for my own job and those of my coworkers. Other higher level employees are exasperated and ready to quit, and that would be very bad for us as well. I want to express my concerns but he has always reacted very negatively to anything he takes as criticism or an attack on him personally. Does anyone have suggestions for how to broach this delicate subject in a way that doesn't seem like I'm making a power play or going over his head. This is truly not the case, I'm just seeing red flags raised everywhere that we are on a bad trajectory. I want us all to succeed and continue the work we've been doing for a long time. | My boss is a good guy but can't keep up with his responsibilities and the business is suffering because of it. How can I talk to him about these serious issues without him taking it personally and just getting angry? |
t3_13hfci | relationship_advice | My bf [24] and I [20] are having some issues in the bedroom, and I'm not sure what I should do to fix it. | My boyfriend and I have been dating since July or so, and for the duration of our relationship sex has NOT at all been a prominent thing in our relationship. It does bother me from time to time, but for some reason not as much as I figured it would. In the beginning (before we had sex the first time) every time we were together we would always stay up and act sexual to one another. We had sex the first time before I went on a trip for two weeks, and as soon as I got home he left for a trip for two weeks (unfortunate timing, we planned our trips before we met). So, after we were back together sexual activity fizzled out probably rather significantly. And, sometimes when we would try to have sex, he would have trouble even just getting hard. But, there were also times when that was not an issue at all, and it would be normal. At one point, I pointed out to him that I thought we should be having sex more, and we did that night, then just fizzled out again. I'm a full time student who commutes to school (30 minutes away), so I often need to go to bed early, and he insists on staying up. So, sometimes he'll stay up so late that I just can't do anything, because I need sleep in order to focus on my classes in the morning (I have 3 everyday, so it's a big load). So, sex has become somewhat of an ordeal for us, I guess. We are otherwise very happy with one another, and very close. But, I'm really not sure what to do here. Because, I feel like maybe neither of us are putting forth the effort we need to. But, last night, (for one of the first times) my boyfriend instigated sex, and he was hard, but for someone reason I just wasn't wet enough for him to be able to get inside. Then after that he lost his erection, and I still wasn't turned on (i guess). Now that that has happened, the issue has been bothering me even more. Are we just not sexually compatible? What is deal? | My boyfriend and I are not regularly having sex, and when we do there are sometimes issues with him staying hard. Not sure what to do about the situation, because we are otherwise very happy with one another. |
t3_2rp9ez | tifu | TIFU at work by thinking a "nooner" was a mid-day nap | While I was eating lunch with a group of co-workers today our boss entered and asked where another employee was. No one knew. When she left, someone commented that our MIA colleague had probably gone home for a nooner.
Thinking that a nooner was a mid-day nap, I commented that I would be really tempted to go home for one too if I lived as close to work as he does. I then went on for a good minute or two about how work
places needed to evolve and focus on productivity instead of just if their employees are physically in the building the whole day. I brought this point home by stating that employers should encourage their employees to "take care of themselves" and that if he really had gone home for a nooner he'll probably come back refreshed and ready to work because I know I sure would.
The 60 something year old man beside me (I'm a female in my 30s btw) quickly changed the topic to how cold it's supposed to be tomorrow.
I didn't think anything of it until a few hours later when someone told me they fully supported my lunch rant about encouraging sex during the work day. | I thought a nooner was a nap instead of sex and made a passionate speech in favor of them in mixed company at work. |
t3_xoxpu | AskReddit | I need to tell my friend that I'm not taking him to Six Flags without sounding like a dick. | So in June I mentioned to my friend David that I was going to Six Flags in the summer, and I could take him. We decided that we would discuss the details (Date & time, etc.) later on. When I contacted him about it, he didn't respond for weeks. I contacted him through Facebook, E-Mail, and text message, but still no response. Finally, I texted him to say that if he didn't respond within the next two days I'd have to take someone else because I was going in a few days. He didn't respond and I had to pick someone else, my friend Michael. 4 says after the 2 days were up (today) David responded saying that he would like to go, if the offer still stood. So it's either Michael or David, and I already asked Michael and he said yes, but I don't know how to tell David without sounding like a total dick. | My friend David didn't respond in time for me to take him to Six Flags, so I had to take someone else. How do I tell David without sounding like an asshole? |
t3_22ma8p | relationships | Me [22F] resenting my best friend [23F] of four years. Please help me be a better friend | Hi r/relationships! Thanks in advance for your help.
So, my best friend and I met in sophomore year of college and have been close ever since. We both graduated from school last spring. Last summer I moved to a city on the East Coast, where I picked up a job in our field. She lived at home for a while and then moved to the same city in January of this year. Since then she's been working on some short-term projects.
Here's the thing - I have to work a full-time job because my family can't support me. However, my friend doesn't have to work and is being paid for by her parents. Because of this, I feel like we're not on the same level like we once were.
For example, she'll invite me out to skip work when the weather is nice, which I appreciate, but I can't just leave my job like that when I feel like it. Or, like, she'll talk about how hard apartment-hunting is and I just won't care that much. How hard can it be, since her parents are paying? I almost feel like I'm starting to respect her less.
I also feel jealous because the short-term projects she's getting to work on are awesome, and my job is comparatively boring. She's invited me to work on some of the things she's been doing, but I can't because they're low-paid or unpaid.
Basically, I feel like we're starting to grow apart. I hate this feeling, I hate resenting her, and I feel like a shitty friend. Do I talk to her about any of this? Maybe there's another way of looking at it? I just want to stop feeling this way. | I have to work, my best friend doesn't, I resent her because of it. I don't want to feel like this. |
t3_4jv8a9 | relationships | I (25F) am struggling to break up with my BF (28M) of five years. | I've been seeing the same man for five years now. He's been unemployed for about 18 months of them. About 6 months ago, I brought it up to him that I was unhappy about his lack of employment, the fact that he lives with his parents at 28, he hasn't proposed, and there's just been zero progression in our lives as a couple in almost 2 years.
After bringing it up, we really regressed instead of progressed. He can be obsessive/compulsive and when things aren't perfect, he has quite the temper which I thought we'd worked on and gotten over but he's having more and more frequent episodes.
Even though, the sex is nauseating (I have to think about other men to get through it without crying), he talks to me like I'm worthless, he feels I don't appreciate him and resents me for it, I am still struggling to just put my foot down. I just had a conversation with him about how I really hate how we talk to each other. We don't function. We can't solve problems together. And I fucking caved the moment he said "One more shot, please? Yesterday was the last day I talk to you like that"
I don't want to have a huge blow up argument. I want to have an adult conversation where I explain that this relationship does NOT meet my needs and he says okay. Do I have to be a dick to get my point across that sure I love him but I want a life partner and he is NOT it? Every adult discussion ends the same way because he hasn't reached the same conclusion that I have that t will never change. He thinks he can change! I know he won't but I don't know how to tell him that without generating World War III. | Please help me find a way to communicate that I know it will not work to a man who is insistent it will and/or give me the balls to kick him to the curb. |
t3_18cirz | relationships | I (F22) don't know where to go from now with (M21). | Me (F22) and my best friend lets call him Greg (M21). We have been close friends for a year but known each other since we were 2/3 years old. We have sleep overs at his place 2 to 3 times a week but are together everyday and we also work together so we spend lots of time together. Two months ago was the first time we both talked about having romantic feelings for each other. We had gotten the point across that we had cared about each other but decided to go slow since we worked together. After that the sleepovers became more frequent and we started to cuddle when I was over his place. Recently we had hooked up. After that I had sat down and wrote a letter to him explaining all of my feelings and at the end of the letter I had asked him if he would go on a date with me. I gave him the letter four days ago the next day he said to come over his house so we could talk about it. However we just had a snow storm and a parking ban and driving ban was put into place. After the bans were lifted he didn't make any point to bring it up again. I had texted him a few times asking when we could talk about it as I was getting anxious, each time I had texted him he seemed to ignore it if it had to do with the status of our relationship or the letter. He did respond to texts regarding work and other things. I had talked to his brother (who I am also close with) who said that his little brother felt overwhelmed and some of his peers said there was no point to be in a relationship because he was young. So my friend recommended that I ask Reddit for help, so here I am! | Me and my best friend have become extremely close. I wrote him a letter describing my feelings and now he is avoiding the subject. |
t3_2y7imh | relationships | My [21 F] boyfriend [23 M] of two years makes derogatory comments and blames it on me. Problem? Possibly NSFW. | Just seeking some unbiased advice here.
I just had a pretty serious argument with my boyfriend and I'm at a loss as to what to do. Though in general he's a nice guy, he has extremely specific ideas about what he wants in regard to intimacy and appearance. For example: any girl he is with must be completely waxed. I have not been in an extremely serious relationship before, so I don't have much of a reference but his requests often seem a little excessive.
My main problem, however, is how he asks for things. I would be fine with: "Hey, I would love to try ___" or "How would you feel about doing __". However, he is often sarcastic and a little hurtful. I.e. "Well, I see we failed to shave again."
I have brought this up on numerous occasions, but nothing changed. He blames it on me having low self-esteem and being too sensitive. He claims he just doesn't have much of a filter and I take everything the wrong way. He then turns it around and makes it seems as if I am attacking him or just looking for something to be mad about.
Each time that I have mentioned this to a friend, they seem to think his behavior is abnormal. However, I'd really appreciate any honest opinions. I am awfully frustrated and at the point where I'm considering ending things. | My boyfriend makes derogatory comments about my appearance and sexual performance, then blames it on my self-esteem. Should I feel bad about this or should he? |
t3_328a4f | relationships | Me [26F] with my partner [28M] of two years. He is learning my native language, but in a way that disturbs me. | My boyfriend and i have traveled all over the world together in the past two years, and he has been teaching himself my native language french. After a year, he was pretty much conversational. But he won't talk to me in french!
He is a bit of a perfectionist, and is still working on his french almost everyday. His technique now is skype conversation exchanges. What bothers me is that he talks exclusively to young, attractive girls. No men, and no women that are older or unattractive.
What's the deal with this? They are all on different continents, and i know he isn't trying to cheat. He doesn't hide anything, though he is shy to speak with me in the room. Basically everything I've read or heard has just been about english and french grammar, and it is all very polite, decent and professional.
I spoke to him about it, and he said he can stop if i tell him too, but that its a really useful method for improving his french. When asked why only beautiful young french girls, he just said theyre more interesting.
So what is it? Do i have a right to be jealous or suspicious? Is his behaviour acceptable by reddit's standards?
Feel free to ask any questions to understand the situation better. Thank you! | In learning my language, boyfriend speaks exclusively to beautiful young french girls, and i don't know how to feel about it. |
t3_2zhyu5 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my co-worker [28? M], how to address his constant checking up on me. | So I've been working with this company since last June. We're a small company (6 people in this office and 6 in another). My one constant job responsibility is to add contacts into our database. A co-worker will forward me an email or give me a business card to copy the information into the database. I have never once missed adding a contact in a timely manner. The problem is how one co-worker (Steve) always asks for confirmation that I did it. The last two weeks, he always asks me to tell him when I'm done, and gets mad if I forget. Reasons I forget include: I started another project, he was not in the room when I entered it and I forgot about it hours later, or sometimes I work from home. If I was given a large stack of business cards, I will usually tell him when it's done, but sometimes I forget if it's just one or two. It feels as though he doesn't trust me to do my job, even though I have never given him evidence otherwise. He also doesn't need to use these contacts ASAP.
Maybe I should also mention that my steve likes to delegate for the sake of delegating. He once forwarded me a document, on my day off, just so I could add our letterhead. He has access to the server, where the letterhead is saved. It literally took four seconds to do, and I know that it wasn't a rushed item. Also, he sometimes has an issue with how I do things, even though the end result is literally the same.
Do I confront him? What would I say to come across as professional? | Co-worker treats me like I don't do my job properly, even though I do. How to address this professionally? |
t3_mw44q | AskReddit | Geeks of reddit, do you ever see socially awkward youths and just want to tell them that everything will work out? | I saw a kid at the library the other day who reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger. By this I mean chubby, awkward and extremely Self-conscious. He used the bathroom to change into workout close and when he came out he just had this look like "please nobody look at me and make fun of me. I feeling I have felt many times in my life. I large part of me wanted to just go up to him and say "As bad as it might seem right now, everything is going to work out in the long run." I thought this might be a little weird since I didn't know him but I wanted to know if anyone else has ever felt this way/actually done something about it? | Nerdy kid looked extremely uncomfortable in gym clothes. I wanted to tell him everything will work out but decided not to. Anyone else have a similar experience? |
t3_1yo1kc | relationships | Am I (M20) going to lose a friend (F20) who I asked out because I still have a little bit of a crush on her? | This girl is a very good friend of mine. We talk a lot, texted, hung out, done stuff together, you name it. To be honest, I originally wanted to just hook up with her (scummy, I know). She's attractive but being a pretty cool person I decided to ask her out too. She said no and said that she was (direct quote) "kind of seeing someone." I even asked why she didn't bring this person around and she said he was hours away. That was BS because she hooked up with someone when we went somewhere and has made no mention of this person nor brought anyone around in the last few months since she told me this. I almost wanted to confront her about it but for some reason I just didn't feel right doing it. That might have done it for the friendship right there.
Anyways, I've hooked up with other people since then and even talked to other girls while putting in work with her to try to get with her. We hang out as if nothing has happened and are still good friends but I still crush on her a little bit. Once in a blue moon it crosses my mind that when we don't hang out she might be with a dude but then she'll post a picture or something on Facebook that she's doing something else with her sister or maybe another female friend.
In all honesty, when she said no, a lot of my feelings for her went away. But I still have a little crush on her and I feel like it might be more physically driven because I do find her rather attractive.
How should I go about this? | Asked out a good friend, got a no, carried on the friendship like nothing happened, still crushing a little bit, I feel like it might be mostly physically driven though. |
t3_y54qg | AskReddit | I'm 22 F and just found out I'm suffering from stress and have started to loose my hair, any advice? | So I put down that I am 22 and female because of the fact I am loosing my hair (I know it is hard for males to). I am going to see my doctor today to see what I can do. I didn't even know I was as stressed as I am. I have had ibs for over 2 years along with sickness. Turns out it was all due to stress. Finding it hard to work out in my mind at the moment.Any one else been in a similar situation? What are the best ways to deal with stress? And has anyone else suffered from hair loss and found any cures? | Loosing my hair and been ill due to stress, finding it hard to deal with, anyone been in a similar situation? |
t3_40l67j | relationships | Guy I'm (F/24) dating (M/25) is great but too clingy. Is it a lost cause? | Recently I began dating a guy. Our first date went so well, and dates since have gone equally as well.
We have lots in common and he makes me laugh a lot. I'm attracted to him very much too.
However, he is just too clingy. He is openly insecure and says he doubts and questions himself a lot. He said he overthinks things.
Like, if I'm having a busy day and don't message him for a few hours, he will begin texting me asking if everything is okay. Or like he will see me Sunday and then ask if he can see me Tuesday, like basically wanting to see me every other day or every couple of days.
I like to take things slowly and I think one date a week is enough to begin with. But this guy tries to aim for like 3/4 a week. It's only been about 3 weeks or so and I'm feeling like he's coming on a little strong. I said I was going for drinks with a male friend and he expressed discomfort at that. Which I think is a bit of a red flag, I reassured him we are just friends but he still didn't seem overly happy about it and to me, 3 weeks into dating a guy I don't think he has a right to try and tell me who I can and can't see. I'd never tell him he couldn't have drinks with a female friend, especially if he'd known her years which I have with this friend of mine.
It just sucks because everything about this guy is pretty perfect except this clingy side. And I'm not sure there is anything that can be done.
I tried to talk to him and told him to maybe slow things down, he got quite upset and said he would try but now he feels self concious and he is overthinking etc. Basically I just needed him to back off a bit but ended up feeling like I had to comfort him and make him feel better.
I feel like he has self esteem issues and I don't know if this can really work. Is there anything I can do or does this guy basically need to work on himself and becoming more secure with himself? | Dating a great guy but he is super clingy and I've tried talking to him but it didn't really work. Should I cut my losses now? |
t3_3rrp50 | relationships | Boyfriend [21M] made drunken reference to cheating on me [18F] | My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a month. We were previously together for about a year, but then broken up for 8 months due to him sort of "cyber" cheating on me (sending/receiving pictures, telling a girl he never met that he loved her, immature shit like that). I know that the same issues will most likely arise again getting back together with a past cheater.
He jokingly said to me "I hope we're together for a long time, as long as you aren't bitchy". I then said "I hope we are too, as long as you don't cheat on me". I thought we were just kidding around, beating up on each other. Then he says "Yeah, but old habits die hard". At this point I freeze and basically come out of my drunken state, asking him what the hell he meant.
He said he just said that because he wanted praise for being "so strong" and resisting urges. Wtf? Is it not a boyfriends job to be loyal to his partner? He knew I was upset, so we went to bed with him kissing my ass and telling me all of this "I'd never cheat on you again" stuff.
So what now? I'm super paranoid all over again of him cheating on me by that comment alone. Should I end things since he pretty much said himself that he'd do it again? Or should I bring it back up and try to work on things? | Boyfriend drunkenly said "old habits die hard" in reference to previously cheating on me. I'm worried about our relationship now. Should I break up with him over that? |
t3_1eq1iv | loseit | Time to be accountable! | 28 year old female here. I'm 5'4" and currently weigh in at 232lbs. I have been lurking here for a long time but have been afraid to join in and post anything. I have been overweight since I was about 12, slowly putting more and more weight on through high school and college. Two years ago, I was up to about 265lbs (I was afraid to weigh myself for the first few weeks of calorie tracking, so I'm not positive on the exact number). I lost 25lbs within a few months and then just stopped caring, I put a few back on over the course of a year. I started sort of monitoring my calories in March again and lost 10lbs. I am lucky in that I have a large body frame and my waist is significantly smaller than my bust and hips so I carry the weight fairly well, however, this also keeps me somewhat in denial. I've had enough though! Starting today, I'm getting serious about my health!
I have tried several different "diets" over the years and I have found that for me, tracking and logging calories is the best way to stay on target and not get bored with the meal planning. I use the Loseit app on my phone. Usually, when I start out on a mission to lose weight and get healthier, I don't tell people. I just quietly work on myself and only tell people when they ask about it specifically. That way, if I fail, I am the only one who knows. Not this time! I have a small first goal in mind and I'm telling everyone about it. This way, I HAVE to achieve it! I still have my favorite pair of pants from high school and I can almost fit into them again (I estimate I need to lose between 5 and 10lbs.) I also have my ten year high school reunion coming up at the end of June. So my first goal is to fit into those pants by June 29th! | I want to fit into my favorite pair of pants from high school by the time I have my ten year reunion at the end of June. |
t3_1tmh3z | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [19 F] of a few months, Should I be concerned??? | This may be a bit long and/or confusing but here it goes...
I met my GF at University about a month and a half in to the school year, and we really like eachother and its getting pretty serious.
But she has this thing where she gets enjoyment out of "teasing other guys", sometimes when I'm not even around.
This doesnt seem to be a problem for her, but i always feel angry whenever she tells me about it (i only know thats it's happened 3 times, once she gave her female friend a hickey infront of another guy to "mess with him")
Yet I feel that I shouldnt be angry because she tells me its just for fun, but i'm more worried that other guys will get the wrong idea about her.
We are also on Christmas break and live fairly far away from her so communication is mainly just texting so it would be tricky to bring it up with her.
I just want to get feedback on whether I should just drop the whole thing and trust her or not...
If it helps, this is my first major relationship. Please help | In serious relationship but GF likes to "tease" other guys, sometimes when I'm not around to intervene. Feel extremely worried... |
t3_19720h | relationships | Girlfriend [21f] wants a break but assures me [25m] we will get back together, how do I pass the time? | Essentially I have fallen victim to my girlfriend turning 21. We have been together almost 10 months but she has been in relationships since she was 16, and never really took time for her. She wants to go out and get the "21 bug" out of her system and spend time just being her and I understand it. My friends say I should just forget about her but I know what I want and I don't want that. She say she doesn't know how long it will be but that she till loves me and knows we will end up together and be stronger for this, and I would rather it happen this way than have her resent me over time and end it completely so I just need to know how I pass this time without going nuts. | Girlfriend wants time for herself, I'm not ready to quit. How to I pass the time and give her space? |
t3_2wkzkx | relationships | My [20 F] mom[50 F] mom moans while eating and it's driving me insane??? | Not sure if this belongs in some other subreddit.
I have a pretty huge pet peeve with my mom, when she's eating snacks like: chocolate, peanuts, fruit, etc... She tends to "moan", I'm not sure how to explain it but it makes me feel so uncomfortable, it's annoying and multiple of my friends have noticed and asked me about it which makes me really embarassed.
I've tried to talk to her about it without being rude but she just gets mad at me and tells me she's not doing anything... My solution for now is that, everytime she's near me while i'm on the computer and starts eating, I move to another room or put on some music but for example, if we are watching tv together and if she's eating, I go crazy annoyed.
I don't know if this behavior is normal and if I'm overreacting because I do tend to get annoyed easily but it is affecting our relationship because I just cannot stand the sounds she makes.
What do you guys think? | Mom makes noises while eating that drive me insane and I can't be in the same room if she's doing so and if I approach her about it, she gets defensive and angry at me. Is this behavior normal? |
t3_1z5mu0 | relationships | My [f18] boyfriend's [m20] parents are trying to make us break up. | My boyfriend and his family are Muslim and his parents obviously don't like us being together, but at first they were okay with it, but now they're intentionally trying to break us up by not letting us spend time together, and it's working. We've been together for almost a year.
Obviously I'm not allowed over to his house, and he's not allowed out to see me. We're fighting over every tiny thing that happens and I get insanely jealous of his friends because they see him a hell of a lot more than I do (his parents let him out to see/stay over his friends' houses but not mine).
I've become very underweight (BMI has dropped to 16.5, bones are showing) and my depression has come back in full force because of the stress this crap has caused, on top of full-time university.
I just got told he can't see me again for the first time in 2 weeks. I'm in tears and 100% done with their crap. They have made him cancel on me every single damn time he tries to see me, usually for no reason. The last time he cancelled was because his mother bought a fish for lunch, that was the only reason. They ruined Valentine's Day and went to a lot of effort to do so. I just want to be with my boyfriend and be happy but nothing we do ever helps. I thought I could power through the crap and hope it'll stop but it's destroying me physically and mentally.
They don't like me because I'm a white Christian girl, I don't know their customs and stuff and I'm not as good as a Middle-Eastern girl. He gets blamed for his father's diabetes and for any illnesses his mother may develop in the future everytime he tries to come to my house (which isn't often in an attempt to keep his parents happy).
I love him so much but his parents are making life hell.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to break up with him, but I know I can't cope with the stress his parents are causing me. | boyfriend's parents aren't letting him out to see me, causing a lot of shit between boyfriend and I, i've become very stressed and my health is suffering |
t3_3h6h7u | relationships | Boyfriend from different country [26M] had panic attack after visiting my[25/F] family and hometownfor first time :(( we love each other but maybe we have to break up? | Been dating for almost 2 years, most of it long distance.
He is from a huge city, I live in a smaller town. We live far apart so the plan was for him to come visit for a month and then him move here by December.
I showed him all my favorite things in my city and was so happy and I thought he liked it.
I live in a first-world country and I guess he had some culture shock. At night he started crying and freaking out about how he was scared he wouldn't be happy here because it was so different (so quiet, and the people walking around are all intimidating) and he was scared his parents would miss him and he didn't know what to do because he wants to be with me and loves me. He also said that he is very scared of moving on with his life and really growing up by moving in with me. But he wants to be with me.
I don't know what to do now. We were planning on him moving here soon, I don't know where we go from here. If he doesn't move here, I don't think I can continue being in a relationship with him, long distance is really hard for me and I don't want to be sad and missing him all the time.
Maybe it was just because everything was a bit overwhelming and he hadn't slept in 2 days. I don't know. :((((
I can't move to his country, I'm still in school and when I graduate I want to Live a safe and happy life and he is from a third world country where things are really shitty right now. :((
Typing this out I feel like we're screwed as a couple. What can I say to him? I don't want to be like "either you move or this is not going to work" but what can I say? :(((( | long distance bf visited me in my country for first time which he was going to move to at end of year. Is freaking out now about leaving his parents, moving on with his life, not being happy here. :(((( |
t3_3aisz3 | relationships | My(21f) fiancé(25) of 1 year told me he wants to move to Poland when our first child is born. It's intemadating, help. | He is first generation, his parents are from Poland but all his family is here in the US now. He grew up being very involved in the polish community. He spent every summer going to Poland when he was a kid. I grew up moving all over the US but finally settled in Cali and I have a small family and we are very close. I'm a purebred mutt and sampled cultures as my mom and I moved around the country. My fiancé and I both want 3-4 kids and I understand that he wants our kids to keep their polish culture and I want it too but the thought of moving to Poland with a new baby scares the hell out of me. I havent quite gotten to plans for kids, im still in nursing school and he seems to have it all planned out and its very itemidating. I don't even know where I want to live after school is over, I never invisioned living right next door to my family but I do not want to be a whole contry away when I finally settle down. I don't want to move away for 5+ years and have my future kids grow up without them around. I'm also scared of feeling like the odd one out. I di not a lick of polish in me and polish has been very hard for me to learn and my pronunciation is shit. I don't want to just be "The American wife" and I'm scared I'll feel really alone. | My husband to be wants to move to Poland after our first child is born and live ther for 5+ years. It scares me and I don't know how to approach the situation. |
t3_3lgbud | relationships | How Do I (22F) Ask My Friend (24F) To Be More Supportive? | Throwaway because my regular account has the same name as my social media accounts.
Leah and I have been friends for four years now. She is moving in in half a week and we are both really excited for that to happen. We are usually inseparable but the past year and a half has been a strain on our relationship.
For starters, she hates it when anyone in our group of friends gets a boyfriend. I was no exception. She hated my boyfriend at the time and distanced herself away from me the whole time I was in a relationship. It was an LDR relationship so I still got to spend lots of time with her and reassured her I wasn't going to abandon her. However, when we broke up, things seemed to get a little better.
My ex really did a number on me and I did a really good job of hiding it well until the end. He was sexually, emotionally, and mentally abusive and it destroyed me. When I seek her for comfort, she always changes the subject to something more lighthearted like paintings or politics.
She's my best friend and I want to confide in her but now I feel she's disinterested. I want her to be more supportive but I feel weird about forcing someone to care about me. What do I do? | Best friend always changes topic when I confide in her. How do I make her more supportive? Should I even try? |
t3_35kqfn | personalfinance | 24 years old, 18k student loan debt, no savings, making ~23k/year. looking to go back to college | To start, i know i have made horrible life choices, what i am looking for is to get my life turned around by getting a degree and making enough to be independent and be able to pay off my student loan debt. i dropped out of college because i didn't like the major i picked and wanted to rethink what i wanted to be. i have since decided on what i want to study and am ready to get back in to college and take it seriously.
Here is what i have to work with: I have around $18,000 in debt, at approximately 6.5% interest. minimum payments are $220/month. I bring home around $375 a week after taxes. i have no debts other than my student loans, my car is paid for and i am living at home. My parents are not interested in me paying them rent. The school i want to go to is within commuting distance from home. I, until now, have been pretty stupid with my income and haven't accumulated any savings, but i am ready to tighten the belt and really start saving. the school i want to go to runs about $400 a credit hour. i am looking at starting in the fall. that gives me a few months to prepare, and i have an additional $800 bonus from work coming that i intend on putting towards school. | I make $375 a week with no expenses besides old student loans and want to go to a $400/credit hour school in the fall. |
t3_3clces | relationships | How do I (M/23) talk to my GF (F/22) of 2+ years about our lack of sex without her getting defensive? | Needed a throwaway for this because my girlfriend is constantly on this sub. This problem might not be nearly as dramatic as the others on here but anyway to start things out, I love the hell out of my girlfriend and I fully intend to marry the girl in a couple of years.
Everything in our relationship has been amazing up until we moved in with each other seemingly causing an extreme drop in her libido. As of now I'd say we have sex every 1 and a half to 3 weeks and sometimes more if she has a longer period compared to the 2-3 times we used to have before. My attempts to talk to her about this usually end up with her becoming very angry and defensive and me seeming like a total ass for bringing it up.
Overall the lack of sex and inability to talk about it has made me feel a little bit of resentment towards her. I'm scared that if I were to marry this girl, this pattern would continue to worsen for years until I just cant take it anymore. Is there any way I could bring this topic up without causing a shitstorm between my gf and I? I seriously have never felt more unattractive and undesirable in my life because of this. | GF doesn't like me bringing up how little we have sex. I have no idea how to talk to her about it. |
t3_4j588e | relationships | How do I [21F] explain to my boyfriend [21M] I don't care for his friend? | Let me preface this by saying I feel pretty shitty that I'm even writing this post. But I just don't want to deal with this any longer.
The last time I visited my boyfriend in March he introduced me to one of his close-ish friends. I particularly didn't care for him at first and by the end of our first encounter I knew I just didn't want to personally be around him unless it was necessary. He rubbed me the wrong way and just my gut was giving me bad vibes the day after. The two of them seem to get along great and I have no issue with their friendship whatsoever. I love that they get along so well, it makes me happy my bf has someone on a friend level to chill with.
I just don't want to be around him.
The problem with that is explaining to my boyfriend that I feel that way. I know I have to tell him because this weekend the three of us are supposed to be hanging out since I'll back down to visit again. I just don't want my boyfriend to a) be personally hurt by this, b) feel like I'm being too controlling or something and c) break up with me because of it.
How do I explain this to him without being **that** girlfriend? Am I being unreasonable with not wanting to be around him? | Don't care for le bf's friend, need to tell him but no clue how to do it without hurting his feels. |
t3_4yrqxx | relationship_advice | I'm [19,M] in doubt wehter she [18,F] just wants to be friends | So as a lot of story's start: There was this girl.
I met her about 10 months ago and we hit it off pretty well. We saw eachother once or twice a month and we would talk via Facebook sometimes. I really like(d) her and had genuine feelings but she didn't seem interested so I kinda tried to get over it.
But that was 5 months ago. Now recently (last month or so) she has been acting all different around me. We both are in a student union (a frat but mixed, I don't know the right word #Belgian) and we often meet at parties (more like relaxed talking sessions in someone's garden) and she acts really flirty around me and would litterally fall asleep on my chest and stuff like that. Everyone of our friends has been asking what's been going on between us because they see a "spark" but I would always brush it off.
A final thing that I found out (don't know if I'm just overthinking) is that on Instagram (a platform that I don't use myself but all of my friends are on) I wanted to show her to one of my friends. When I got on her profile page I saw that the quote next to her name read "Bacon & Cheese" which freaked me out because those are the nicknames we gave eachother to celebrate our common love for the burger.
I don't really know if I should act or do anything at all. | Friend that I had/ve feelings for didn't show any interest in me but now a couple months later I get the feeling she has feelings for me. I don't know how to react. |
t3_3r1m3t | relationships | I [25F] really like my coworker [24M], but I'm uncertain about letting him know | I started at this job two months ago. At the beginning, this particular coworker was very helpful and kind in helping me figure out stuff and getting the hang of things. He's been consistently nice, and is just a really good person overall.
Next month, he'll be transferring to another branch of the company at another location, which kinda bums me out because I won't see him at work anymore. We don't have any mutual friends outside of work, and to be honest I do not know him all that well. But I do know that he is someone I would like to keep in my life.
He comes across as very friendly, competent at his job, thoughtful, a bit shy at times, and slightly dorky (in the best way). The thing is, I don't know what I should do, if anything. I've talked about the situation with some of my close friends and they've encouraged me to be a little more proactive, since he'll be relocating shortly and if things don't go so well I won't see him again anyway.
But I also worry that maybe I'm rushing things. I haven't known him for that long, and I still don't know him well. Plus I worry about how him knowing that I like him may impact our professional relationship. | I really like a coworker, who is relocating in a month. I don't know him that well (yet). What should I do? |
t3_1f21mq | dating_advice | I (20m) am not sure if I should give up pursuing girl I really like | I've known this girl since elementary school but wouldn't of considered us friends until about 2 months ago when I began staying at her parents house where she still lives because I needed a place to stay for a couple weeks. She is incredibly shy and quiet but I could tell she definitely liked me. We hung out a couple times but never just the 2 of us. One night we're at one of her friends house and we're drinking beer and out of no where she is all over me. I was a little surprised because I'd never seen her be anything but shy and quiet. We eventually get back to her house (also my house for the time being) and she goes directly into my room. I was kind of hesitant because her parents were sleeping just 2 rooms over. I always kind of had a crush on her so I said what the heck and went with it. We made out but got cut short because we heard her parents walking around downstairs. She went back to her room and we texted a little before falling asleep. The next night I tried seeing if she wanted to watch a movie or something in my room and she said she had to wake up early the next morning. I've asked her a couple more times since then if she wanted to hang out and got similar excuses. Now basically I only see her around the house very rarely and its really awkward and we basically ignore each other. I actually really liked hanging out with her the couple times we did but don't know if its worth even pursuing given the fact she really hasn't shown any interest back. So reddit, whats my play from here? | Girl likes me, I start to like her, we make out, i come on too strong, she loses interest, what do i do? |
t3_wohdn | AskReddit | Athiests of Reddit:My family has had multiple premonition-like encounters with dead or dying relatives. As a non-religious person I don't know how to explain it. What do you think? Have you ever had any such encounters? | 1) My mom had a daughter before me, born with a heart defect. While my mom was awaiting a post-op update (sister was one) she fell asleep and had a dream where my sister came to her and told my mom that she was sorry but she had to go. She also told my mom that it would be okay because she'd have a sister soon (me). When my mom woke up she was told the situation had turned critical and later that night they made the decision to take her off life support. A year later I was born.
2) That night my sister died my then-five year old cousin came to his parents in the middle of the night crying. He said (my sister) wasn't coming back. He said she visited him that night, they played together, and then she said good bye.
3) After my grandfather's death he told my mom that he would come to her in a dream if heaven was real and prove it to her. A couple months after his death he "visited" my mom while she slept. He pointed to a spot on her torso and told her that she needed to have it checked out. Coincidentally my parents had made plans to have a full body MRI scan courtesy of my dad's insurance company. They found a (benign) golf ball size cyst in that exact spot where my grandfather pointed in my mom's dream.
Despite growing up Christian I no longer consider myself a religious person, but this shit creeps me out and I honestly just can't explain it. | 1) My mom dreamed that my dying sister came to say good bye and that she would have a sister (me) before doctors broke the news. |
t3_4p8yi7 | relationships | Me [22 M] can't get thoughts of cheating ex-gf [22 F] out of my mind. | I was dating my ex for 3 years, completely in love. She blindsided me and left me for my then best friend. This was 1 year ago.
To this day I would randomly have thoughts of her sleeping with him, or in my dreams.
This confuses me because I don't even want her back. I miss our happy times but if she offered to get back together I'd easily say no. So why are these thoughts occurring? They're very detailed too like all the way from foreplay to orgasm. I'm not aroused during these moments, in fact I often cry or feel like throwing up. **Yes I've cut contact for 1 year now, thrown all stuff related to her away, blocked on all social media, the works.**
When these thoughts come up, is it better to face them, or try and block them out?
Thanks. | I don't love my ex anymore but I'm still hurt about her cheating on me with my then-best friend and I have reoccurring images of them having sex. How do I get these to go away? |
t3_2x1oxj | relationships | Did I [22 M] mess up with her [22 F]? | Okay, so I I'm new to dating. I've only been doing it for maybe six months. I've been seeing this girl. We've got a lot in common, we see eye to eye on a lot of things, and just generally have a good time together. Well, I messed up this morning by saying I was really hoping we have a future together.
She responded by saying I was one of the sweetest guys she's ever known and that she really liked me, but she doesn't think she likes me the same way yet. She said she could in the future, but couldn't say for sure. She wants to keep hanging out and seeing where things go, though.
If you couldn't tell, I tend to over analyze things. Do I still have a shot or is she just trying to be nice and there is very little of chance of anything developing? | Talked about the future prematurely, may have messed up entire relationship. She said she may get feelings in the future, though. |
t3_2cv9rr | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 2 years. Worried that concealing a fetish is unhealthy but equally worried that confessing to it could ruin our relationship. | I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and I have enjoyed every minute of our relationship emotionally. I think she's beautiful, clever and I find her easier to relate to and more supportive than any of my ex's and we have loads of common interests and to be honest if stuff keeps going this way I could see myself proposing to her.
There's just one problem that I know I have to deal with at some point: for as long as I can remember I've had a fat fetish. I get turned on by the idea of girls gaining weight and find larger girls really sexy. I realise that this has lots of horrible baggage relating to control and superiority, but let me just make clear that it is just the weight I find attractive: the idea of forcing somebody that didn't want to put on weight is horrible to me.
This is where the two threads of thought come head to head. My girlfriend isn't remotely close to being overweight, she's pretty skinny. I don't know whether to confess my fetish to her, and if so how much to say. I know that it will just make her insecure that I don't find her attractive enough. However, although I wouldn't want her to get unhealthily overweight, I can't deny that if she put on about 10 lbs I'd find her so much more attractive.
If I did decide to tell her I'm not sure how I'd lead up to it. She's pretty into BDSM, something I'm not really into at all, but I've enjoyed giving her pleasure by having BDSM sex. I'd imagine she wouldn't mind combining food and sex, something I'd find really hot, but putting ok weight affects you outside of the bedroom.
So, what should I do? Should I keep hushed about everything? Should I just tell her I have a fetish for eating during sex now? Or should I tell her about the weight thing as well? | I have a fat fetish. Not sharing any part of this with my gf is making me feel sexually frustrated and guilty. I want to tell her, but don't want to make her insecure about her body as it is. |
t3_29e363 | relationships | Me [24F] Seeking advice for my Sister [21F] breaking up with her partner [M32] he refuses to move out. | They have been together 5 months, moved in after two. Tumultuous relationship where his aggressive behavior got worse and worse. Several altercations later (in witch he threatens to kill/stab/beat her and smashes the kitchen) and broken promises it wont happen again. She resolves the relationship is over and its not going to get better.
He calls sobbing begging for forgiveness or switching to rage where he calls her all the names under the sun. The issue is they rent a house together with 10 months left on the tenancy and our father is the guarantor.
The ex boyfriend is refusing to move out and end his tenancy there. Has anyone been through this, or has had experience with this situation? She thinks she is the lead tenant?
Looking for advice on:
keeping her safe,
possibility of switching the guarantor,
any advice on the tenancy. | Sister and her abusive SO are breaking up but he won't leave their rented property. Our father is the guarantor. |
t3_2ywb0s | relationships | Broke up with my [23M] girlfriend [21F] of almost 2 years, having issues moving on. | My exGF and I recently mutually broke up because we felt we needed to fix things in our own lives. I was okay with it at first but being able not to see her is very difficult.
I live with my roommate in an apartment complex and my ex gf just happens to live in the apartment right next to mine. We share many mutual friends and not seeing her is practically impossible. I am still very much in love with her. I would love to be able to snap my fingers and make everything okay between us.
We are okay as friends, we have no issues being around each other but I want more than to just be friends with her. Trying to just act like only a friend around her is one of the hardest things to do! I know that I need space to figure my own shit out but we have recently been hanging out together with mutual friends after our break up and it has become very difficult to resist being around her, talking to her, or wanting to hug, touch, kiss, or put my arm around her. Especially since most of our friend get-togethers happen at her place. I know logically what I should do, but emotionally I know that all I want is her. My brain is going crazy.
I hate being home alone while everyone is together at her place having fun, but it is extremely difficult to be around her and keep my emotions in check. I miss her so much and I am really struggling to keep myself together. | How can I get over my ex when she lives 10 feet from me, I literally cannot avoid seeing her, and we hang out with a mutual group of friends? |
t3_42gyoa | relationships | My [17 F] bestfriend [18 F] is pressuring me into going to the school dance with her! | My bestfriend is trying to rope me and my date into joining her friend group to the school dance.
Preface: Last year, I took a different date with this group to a school dance (highschool). And it was bad. For me and him. My bestfriend in particular, 'Mandy', would tell exaggerated, embarrassing stories about me and I couldn't say 'don't do that' because I would usually get rebuffed with 'you should be able to tell the person you're dating everything'. My friend group and I also tend to get loud and crazy in public, which most people aren't comfortable with. And finally, when I'm with my best friend I tend to leave out my date from the conversation because we have so many inside jokes.
Mandy also seems to hate it when I date any other people so....
This year, another friend and I were thinking of having a nice double date together alone. But Mandy has been texting everyone in our friend group, putting on a ton of pressure to go to dinner and hang out with the group at the dance. I'm not sure how to politely tell her no.
Furthermore, I'm afraid she might rope my other friend in, leaving me stranded D: | My bestfriend wants me and my date to go to a school dance with our loud, embarrassing group, how do I tell her NO? |
t3_1rqvp9 | relationships | Losing my (16M) virginity to my best friends ex (17F) and feel really guilty. What should I do? | So, my best friend met a girl in summer who he eventually started dating after around 2 weeks or so of being together. However, he had to move away to another country halfway across the world at the end of summer, and after trying long distance for a while, they eventually decided it wasn't working and broke up. Recently I have been talking with her and things began to get more sexually related. Now after talking and flirting for a while she has told me she wants me to have sex with her, in which I would be losing my virginity and the fact that she is my best friends ex, makes me feel really guilty about going ahead with it (also I'm from the UK so it's all legal and what not). She is completely serious about it and has talked me through a few things I may need to know when it comes to doing it and having sex and we have already met up once and made out etc however we are not dating/seeing each other. Honestly, I feel like I should really tell him about it because we have been friends for over 10 years now, but she doesn't want me to tell anyone for fear of how people will think of her.
I'm not sure how my friend will react if I tell him since he has another girlfriend now, but I feel like he wouldn't trust me if he found out about what was going on especially since they would probably still be dating if he was here. I'm not sure whether to tell him and possibly break his trust, or just not go ahead with it and tell her I'm not comfortable with doing it and stay as a virgin. I also think that if I didn't tell him I would feel really guilty afterwards, and even worse if I didn't tell him and he found out. So honestly I'm not sure how I should deal with the situation. What should I do r/relationships? | Best friend of 10 years got a girlfriend, moved away and they broke up. She wants to me have sex with her and he doesn't know, and I feel guilty despite the fact he now has another girlfriend. |
t3_30vrz6 | relationships | How do I [23M] address the issue that I am no longer in love with my SO [21F]? | We've been together for 4 years and I realized that I am no longer romantically in love with her. She is my best friend and part of this realization is that my love has been shifting towards friend-love.
Aside from the reasons I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out how I'm going to bring up this conversation. When we fight I just sit there and never have anything to say because she has a very dominating temper. Needless to say she is not very good and talking about emotional issues calmly, for example: we got into a fight last week and she ended up raising her voice (not screaming) and spat on me.
We've worked on her anger for years and it's much better but it has never gotten to the point where we can actually talk about things like this. I love her very much but I want out of this relationship so I can grow by myself and she can actually experience life to it's fullest. | Girlfriend has a temper when talking about emotional issues, how do I bring up that I no longer love her romantically? |
t3_hb55j | self | Tonight might have shunted me into the friend zone, but I'm so stoked to be his friend. | Of course. Life couldn't possibly work the way you want it to. But maybe that's okay.
So basically, there's this guy I've liked for almost a year and a half. Yeah, long time to like someone and NEVER SAY A WORD to them about it. But it's no record, by any means. But tonight I finally got to hang out with him, one on one, just the two of us. And it was great. I mean, I'm stoked that I'm actually getting to know this guy as a decent friend rather than the creepy weird stalking kind of tactics I'm used to seeing employed by friends and such. He and I are actually friends. It's pretty sweet. Sure, I'll probably get stuck in the friend zone with him, but heck, he'd make an amazing friend! He *does* make an amazing friend. I'm lucky.
Only downside is I really wanted *him* to be the one to initiate this sort of thing. Instead it was my idea to hang out. I asked him. Not a huge deal, but I had always hoped that in these situations, the guy would initiate things, even just casually hanging out. Well, I was wrong. I should have known, this guy doesn't initiate *anything*. But he's fantastic, nonetheless. And I don't think I'll mind actually asking him to hang out because he seemed to really enjoy tonight, and I think he'd appreciate having another friend to chill with. So I think I'm okay with how everything worked out.
This is completely odd though. I've never been this okay with any relationship with any guy ever before, and this is barely a friendship. Wow.....I don't know what this means...maybe nothing. | Might be stuck in the friend zone with a guy I've liked since forever, but I think I'm okay with it, because...I don't know why. |
t3_1if022 | relationships | Breakup between me [26/M] and my boyfriend [27/M] of almost two years. | My boyfriend and I were dating for almost two years. This was both of our first long-term relationships, and even further, our first long-term relationship with someone of the same sex. Which means he is my first love.
We of course had rocky times, as all relationships do, but we also had some really great times. My birthday party was on Friday night, and on Sunday night, he came over and told me that he wasn't feeling the things he thought he should be after such a long time in a relationship, explaining why he had been distant and not such a good boyfriend (i.e., not getting me anything for my birthday (and as a side note, it's not about the gift, it's about the thought... seriously)). He didn't want to further progress something he thought wasn't working.
I've asked for advice from my friends, as anyone would, and they've given the same advice, which I'm trying to take to heart... don't contact him, stay busy, surround yourself with friends, etc. I hung out with a few last night, and they said "it doesn't seem like it's affecting you that bad" because they don't see the tears in the shower, at night, at work, etc.
I keep picking up my phone to text him, not because I'm being a crazy ex, but because he was my best friend, and it's my first instinct to text him about everything. I did unfriend him on Facebook and Twitter.
Any other advice you all could give would be very helpful. This is my first actual break-up, and although I know I will eventually be OK, I'm taking it really hard right now.
Thanks so much! | My boyfriend of two years (my first love) and I just broke up, and I'm taking it really hard and need advice. |
t3_2j76jj | relationships | I [21 M] accidentally read my girlfriend's [19 F] personal journal, she wrote about sexual fantasies she has about my friend [23 M] | I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year.
We were cleaning the house today, trying to be productive, and I was sorting through some of the books in our room. I was putting away filled notebooks in drawers (we both write a lot) and was opening them to see if they had writing in them. I honestly wasn't trying to snoop; I know it sounds like I was, but I truly had no idea that one of the notebooks was her personal journal. I wouldn't have flipped through it the way I did, but I saw my friend's name and some sexual stuff, and despite my better judgement I read some of it.
The gist of it is that my girlfriend has been fantasizing about my friend, masturbating to the thought of him, etc. She did write that she would never act on these feelings, which is good I suppose, but the detail she went into was really weird. She didn't say anything bad about me, but the fact that she wasn't describing me in a sexual light instead definitely freaked me out. Apparently she had a dream about him one night.
She refers to her feelings for him as a "harmless crush".
What should I do? Do I bring it up with her? Am I allowed to be as upset as I feel? I feel angry. This was about an hour ago and I feel sick. Help! | My girlfriend wrote in her journal about some sexual fantasies she has been having about my friend, I accidentally read one of them, not sure what to do about it |
t3_2wjdsx | relationships | Me [21M] with my Friend/housemate[21M] of 2 years is getting angry that i'm getting more friends. | To start, i'm not even sure this is required its just i don't really have anyone else to discuss this with and i'm worried.
I am living at university and during the first year i had a particularly destructive relationship which made talking to people difficult (whole other story) however i always had a friend in lets call him Dave he helped me when i thought everything had gone to shit and i am grateful but since the start of the university term i have started to become more confident and therefore have been meeting people.
This didn't seem to be an issue until today when i was hanging out with a friend (whom he dated and dumped almost immediately) and he got angry at me for not replying to his text. We had gone swimming at the gym me and Dave go to so obviously i didn't have my phone on me.
Thinking nothing of it i just shrugged it off as a mistake. This is when shit got really strange, he accused me of sleeping with his ex and of acting weird around him because of hanging out with other friends.
So now i'm locked in my room confused and dreading having him come home. Any ideas on how to diffuse the situation? i really don't want to argue if possible. | Hanging out with newer friends causes my only friend from first year of university to flip out at me and accuse me of sleeping with his ex. |
t3_18nhnu | dating_advice | Help me(25F) pick him(26M) over cats. | File under: shouldn't be a big deal but is. I generally don't have a lot of problems with dating, even though I do have fairly high standards for both myself and potential partners. That means I don't enter many serious relationships, which is fine with me. Recently, though, I met someone quite special: he's everything I'm looking for, with great chemistry, and he really likes me, too!
...Oh, and he's allergic to cats.
The thing is, I *really love* cats. I've had them my whole life. I'm not allowed to have pets in my current apartment, but my ideal future involves one or maybe two cats in my home, forever. And every time I find myself thinking "hey, this might become a real relationship/work out/turn into something great," it's followed immediately by: "...which would mean that I never get to have a cat again." I hate to be a weird cat lady, but that thought alone is so sad it could almost make me cry.
I'm used to this happening, though--I don't know if it's just my luck, but I almost never meet men who even *physically can* be around cats, much less ones who like to. If it were easier to meet male cat-lovers, I'd honestly make the alternative a dealbreaker, but that also feels petty and like a thing I should get over. It is, right? If so, how? Can a person learn to like dogs? | How do I make peace with the fact that I might never find the cat-loving man of my dreams, and that getting serious with the current one means no cats as long as we're together. |
t3_3yogma | relationships | Me (38f) with him (39m). Is being "IN LOVE" overrated? | I have been with a man I am in love with for a few years now. I truly feel in love with him. I go way out of my way to be with him. I think of little ways to make him happy. He's a priority in my life.
He professes to be in love with me but I'm pretty sure he is not. I've been with people who were in love with me before and this is very different. His words and his actions don't match. Instead, this seems like it is a comfortable, convenient partnership. One which he wants to continue. We work very well together. We laugh. We have similar interests.
On the downside, he never looks at me *that way* (you know what I mean). He treats me more like a male buddy. He isn't soft with me or sweet with me. He doesn't do anything that would make me feel pretty or special. He doesn't remember little things about me. Sex seems like a take-it-or-leave it type of event. He never compliments me.
We've talked about these things before. He just says yes, he is in love with me. I find that hard to believe. He asks why I am so focused on that stuff anyway since we work so well as a team. It is because I WANT someone to really want me. Who would go out of their way for me (he's never really done anything that would prove anything to me). I'm really really low maintenance, so the fact that I feel like this just goes to show he does pretty much nothing.
It is true we have gained a lot of success together and we are working well together as partners etc. But I want someone to love me. Truly love me. He says I'm reading too many romance novels. | BF and I work really well as a team, but I don't feel he is in love with me at all (even though he says he is). How important is that in the long run? |
t3_3c71h3 | relationships | My (now ex) boyfriend [20M] of 1.5 years suddenly broke up with me [20F] over text in the middle of the night | I woke up this morning to a text from my boyfriend saying that he didn't want to see me anymore. There was no explanation or anything, just that he didn't want to be with me. This completely took me by surprise since we really didn't have any issues. We haven't had a fight in a while and he never expressed any dissatisfaction with our relationship or with me. We were the couple that everyone thought was perfect.
I'm in a state of shock right now since it was so sudden. I'm not sure what to do because I kinda feel like we haven't really broken up.
I'm not quite sure what I'm asking in this post, but I think I just need some other opinions or someone to relate to. | Boyfriend broke up with me over text in the middle of the night without explanation and I have no idea how to feel or what to do. |
t3_1rgj1r | Pets | My cat seems to be going crazy. Details inside | I've had Addy for 4 years now and she's been living with me and my roommate since I adopted her as a kitten. She's fixed, always been super attached to me (I can't go 10 feet away without her following me) and always friendly with my RM.
However, the last 2 weeks, she's all of a sudden hisses, growls and runs away from my RM, and will stay in my bedroom most of the day but treats me as the same, clingy loving cat. I know he's not abusing her; he's been my best friend since I was 7 and they were always friendly with each other until 2 weeks ago.
Her eating and drinking is normal, but she seems more "saucer eyes" than usual. Would blood tests or something help determine issues? Where I live the vet cost would be around $600 US equivalent so I'm hesitant unless it's a real medical issue. Thanks for your advice. | My cat's attitude has changed toward other people during the last 2 weeks with no difference in diet, procedures or environment in over a year. |
t3_vtqp8 | Advice | I'm thinking about packing it up and starting over | Hello,
First off thank you for all advice in advance. I recently had a conversation with someone about what I considered a fulfilling life. After pondering that question for a while I have realized that I'm unsatisfied with my current life.
I'm 23 years old, have a psychology degree and currently work as a compliance specialist for a major credit union. I make decent money however I no longer enjoy going into work and quite frankly the situation at home is also less than ideal.
I really want to move to Florida and go back to school to get my master's in school psychology. My dream job has always been to be a school counselor and I think im young enough to make a drastic transition like without having to worry about too many consequences.
I have already saved up quite a bit of money (around 35k) and I am mentally prepared to start over.
I would like to request some advice on how i can make this transition a smooth one (mind you im moving from Virginia). My current idea is to use the 35 towards either a condo or a townhouse (with roommates/tenants) and pull out student loans for school. Any advice you can provide will be greatly appreciated. | I want to move from Virginia to florida and start over. I plan on going to graduate school down there and I would like to know what i can do to make this a smooth transition? |
t3_121d8e | relationships | Should I [24F] tell my BF [27M] of two years that I'm watching a sports game with a guy as friends? | Been with BF for two years, he is great and we are very in love. However he is an extremely jealous person. I have never cheated on him or given him a reason to distrust me. His only qualm with me is that he thinks I am too friendly when I'm drunk, although he admits I am like this towards everyone, not just other guys. Anyways, I recently quit waiting tables, but when I did there was this older guy that would come in who is a hockey expert. On the side I blog for a sports website as a hockey analyst and loved when this guy would come in during games and give me his two cents. He always gave me tips and great stuff to write about, and I really value his opinion. Now that I am not a server, I have made plans to watch the games this weekend with this guy at a bar. He is very aware that I have a boyfriend and would never try anything with me. However, even if I explained this to BF he would be pissed and all crabby about me going. He's pretty irrational about it, and I've had a million conversations with him but he won't budge. So, if I tell him, he's going to be mad and I'm going to go anyways and it's going to be a fight. If I don't, I'm lying to him about what I'm doing, but saving a fight and a lot of drama. Help! I have never hidden something like this from him before but I just don't feel like I have the energy to argue with him this week. | BF has Jealousy issues, should I tell him I'm watching a hockey game with a guy I know from work? |
t3_1d1o5h | relationships | A girl I've been seeing(20) is going through a hard time and I don't know how to deal with it (19M) | Ok, so basically I got her number on a whim at work. She was in a relationship that was pretty good and had been in for almost two years. We hit it off perfectly. We have so much in common, I'm generally not the type to get emotionally attached to people ever, but this girl and I have a thing that is awesome. We've been together a little over two months now.
Well, about two weeks after we started talking, she broke up with her boyfriend, realizing that their relationship wasn't going anywhere in the future, and because she had feelings for me. Everything was going great for about a month, then she started feeling horrible about having hurt him. She has no desire to go back to him, but I understand there are still going to be some lingering feelings. She never cheated on him with me, but recently her almost constant sex drive has disappeared, she is really depressed and hates herself, and on top of that just found out she has chlamydia from a rape several years ago (that's the only time she knows of that she has had unprotected sex, and she hasn't had many partners), so now she feels like a filthy slut and can't handle affection very well. I'm just worried I guess. I want to know how to handle it. I think we jumped into this too quickly, but it was hard not to. So I'm wondering if now I should let her do her own thing and give her space. | The girl I've been seeing broke up with her long term boyfriend before we entered a relationship, and now feels really guilty about it on top of other things |
t3_2orxys | relationship_advice | [16/m]Im confused. First relationship. Need help.[16/f] | Hello everyone. So heres the situation. Im seeing this girl for a few months now, we are both 16(shes my classmate and we only keep it between ourselfs for now). We've only been on 3 dates and there was nothing serious we just got to know each other a little closer, no hand holding or kissing just a hug when we meet and say goodbye. (we were also friends before for a couple of years and had a crush on each other for about 5 years apperantly, she acctualy tried to get closer with me durning those years but i was too shy to answer back and i kinda pushed her away while being too scared to talk to her normly). Im.still realy shy and its really hard for me to show my feelings towards her which are a lot stronger then she could imagine. So heres the problem now. We text everyday, but its really odd. One week shes really nice, talkative and it really seems like she feels something towards me(i was ill last week and seemd like she got really worried about me which felt awesome lol). Then the next week she seems cold and distant. And it keeps on repeating. Also whenever i ask if we could meet up this week shes always busy or already has plans(its probably true but it still worries me). I didnt say anything to her and try to be patient and i dont want to push her. But i also dont want to lose her. How do i deal with this situation? Just give it some time? Talk to her?( that would be really hard to do because as i said im really shy). Please help. :/ | We text everyday, but its really odd. One week shes really nice, talkative and it really seems like she feels something towards me. Then the next week she seems cold and distant. And it keeps on repeating. |
t3_3i4nan | relationships | My [18m] parents [52] decided to tell us today they're separating. I don't feel anything about it. | They decided to tell me and my sister [22] today. They all cried, I didn't feel anything. My dad realised he doesn't love my mum anymore, they've been married for 25 years, he refuses to do counselling I'm starting university in a couple of weeks so I guess I've got a lot to deal with, but I just don't feel anything; no sadness no anger. I think we're going to have to move house because neither of them can afford to keep it. I don't know what I need advice on, I guess if someone could tell me how to cry it'd be nice | dad realised he doesn't love my mum anymore, won't do counselling. I don't feel anything, don't want to lose the house. |
t3_2crpw7 | relationships | [18 F] boyfriend [19 M] of two years, sent me a twitter dm with a vague idea of where he was going then gave no details then disappeared to possibly drink. | So lately my boyfriend has been just getting worse and worse at communicating and caring about my feelings and it's taking a toll on my trust with him. At around 9 I got a Twitter dm (he never uses twitter) that he'd be hanging out at his coworkers house playing SSBB, and his phone is dead. Doesn't sound bad right? Wrong.
About a month ago he told me about how he got invited to the same coworkers event and they'd be getting wasted and playing. I told him I didn't like the thought of that especially if he was driving. He used to do drugs and drink but got sober for quite a bit so nothing about him partying with a random coworker with a dead phone makes me comfortable. Am I wrong to feel upset?
I just feel like he could've stayed on twitter AT LEAST long enough to read my (immediate) responses about messaging me if he's drinking and not to drive ect. I just think he's so careless to not even think about how I feel about this. Especially since now it's 1 a.m. and I'm still not hearing a single thing from him and he won't even let me walk my dog at night because he's worried about me...
He's been really bad about not communicating with me about where he is and where he's going and I think he misunderstands my problem and think I just don't want him to hang out with friends. That's not even it. I just want to know that he's doing you know? Also I recently got really sick and he ditched me for friends. Not only did he not check on me but he was too busy playing games with his friends.
Another time I had a bad pregnancy scare and he ditched me to hang out with friends and later said it was because he doesn't like my "bad vibes".
When I bring up breaking up he says he doesn't want to, but his actions make me feel like I'm not important enough to check in with or check on and I just feel like something is fishy. What do I do? I hate this. | My boyfriend told me through a tweet he'd be going somewhere without elaborating and didn't communicate with me or see how I felt about it. |
t3_3zogus | tifu | TIFU by randomly saying yes | I have a lot of FU in my life, but most of them haven't happened recently. So here's the customary, this happened a few years ago. Basically I spend most of my free time playing tennis, and I'm pretty good so that gets a lot of attention and keeps my body in good shape. There's a hot girl there (is it really a TIFU without a hot girl?)and she's really shapely, nice ass, brilliant smile. I met her first day, we talked, but I didn't see her around much because of school. Fastforward a bit to when our tennis coach dies, I guess most people didn't expect me to make it because I rarely went down there because of school. I still came for the funeral and I guess that made a good impression on her? We were steadily getting closer.
Now here's where the fuck up happened. I was sitting in the club house and the coach steps out and tells me to supervise her warmups. "*I'm going for a run, can you watch me please?*". Now, I didn't really hear her that well, but you know I just said "Yeah sure". All of a sudden her demeanor changes and she gives me a weird look, "No, I didn't mean it like *that*". I'm suddenly very confused but before I can say anything she's already gone. Now she doesn't respond to my facebook messages and she placed in the national beauty pageant. | made friends with a hot girl, she says "watch me run", me not paying attention just says yes, she thinks I'm a creep. |
t3_dxj0q | AskReddit | Has Colbert's on-air persona changed over the past couple of years? | Hiya reddit. Since y'all seem like the internet's resident Colbert-authority, I figured I'd ask the question emboldened above. In case you can't read text above 14-point, or you can't be bothered to incline your eyes the requisite 2 centimeters upward (for which I do not blame you in the slightest), I shall reprint it below.
*Has Colbert's on-air persona changed over the past couple of years?*
I only catch the show very occasionally. Maybe less than 10 episodes since the program debuted. I couldn't help noticing (while being too catatonically immobile to even bother deluding myself that I might visually locate my remote control, let alone retrieve it) that the man seems a little looser, a little bit more playful, and a little bit more flippant with his on-screen persona. I love the guy (despite my truant viewership), and I'm certainly not editorializing on whether this is funnier, less funny, better, or worse. I just wanted to confirm if this is indeed an accurate observation.
My vague memory/conception of the show had a Colbert that was a bit more hardline on the "Bill O'Reilly-esue conservative" bit. I'm watching it right now (or I was, it seems to have morphed into some crude cartoon show with a fat boy), and he seems to be alternating between Colbert-esque satire and Jon Stewart-like tongue-in-cheek commentary. In short, he doesn't seem to be as dedicated to the facade (for better or for worse). Has this been happening over time? Is this a fluke? Am I just an idiot? | I don't watch Colbert much, but has he gradually gotten more flippant with his conservative persona over the years, or has he always played fast-and-loose with the facade? |
t3_2ftwjo | askwomenadvice | Should I wait for my friend to find out if she likes me or should I find her on facebook/twitter? | Hello askwomenadvice! I (25M) hope you can help me.
I am interested in a girl (19F) that went with my attractive female friend (19F, we have been friends for about 2 years. No sex, just friends) and I to a country club on saturday. We danced together and had a good time, but she had to leave early. She is friends with my attractive female friend and I am asking my friend to take her to lunch or dinner or Starbucks or whatever to sort of probe her for her interest in me, as I do not have her phone number myself.
This, however, seems to be extremely difficult to arrange between them and I honestly don't expect it to happen anytime soon. I don't like this situation I have where I can't talk to her myself, but I feel like if I found her on facebook or hit her up on twitter it would be 'creepy' or 'too much too fast.'
I am torn on what to do. If I let my friend suggest that we get together, then I have the friend's seal of approval and she might trust me more or be more eager to see me, but I am impatient and if I find her online I risk coming off as creepy. | Should I wait for my friend to find out if I am 'okay' to make a move, or should I find her on facebook/twitter? |
t3_4dwaek | relationships | Counseling is hurting my relationship. | Me (20 yo m) and my girlfriend of 2 years (20yo f) are currently broken up because I have felt like she has had one foot out the door for the past month. She has broken up with me and then apologized and tried to get back with me multiple times in the past month. A few days ago she said she was going to take my advice and go to counseling for her clinical depression and anxiety. Two days ago was her first visit and yesterday she started telling me how her counseling will be tough and she isn't sure she will want to be with me at the end of it.
I have to deal breakers in a relationship and that's if she cheats on me or stops wanting to be with me. She doesn't know if she wants to be with me and I don't think I can cope with that. She says she doesn't want to break up but doesn't know if she wants to be together.
Should I just stay with her knowing she is going to be just leading me on and dragging me through till she breaks up with me or try to find someone else. | my girlfriend went to counseling I told her to go to and the next day she doesn't know if our relationship is going to survive it. |
t3_4830qe | relationships | Me [25/M] with my [21/F] 2 years, ended the relationship by me saying without a thought, one girl isn't enough. | About 4 or so years ago, I was in quite a good relationship, one where it was pure love, both mind and heart telling me she's the one, now back then, I was really having trouble seperating reality from fantasy and vice versa, I tended to run away from reality in fact. So one day, just without even thinking of the damage or weight of hurt those words carried.
I told her, one girl will never be enough. Thus destroying the relationship, now as that happened, the following week, I was going to fix it all, try to go through hell, dirt and back to get this back on track again. I feared the outcome, I couldn't. It took me 2 years, 2 years to apologize to her and tell her how sorry I was for what I had done. Well in the end she forgave me but being friends? Nope or wanting to do anything with me for that matter.
Never once a day went by I didn't think of her. | I can't let her go, thinking of talking to her to see if I can restore what is lost, advice? |
t3_33akxt | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Russian friend [19 F] is leaving abroad. | So I'm currently dating this Russian girl and we have been together for about 3 months, but we are not officially a couple.
Recently I asked her if she wanted to make it official or wait a bit longer. She told me that she wanted to wait a bit longer, and I dont mind that, totally cool with it.
Fast forward to this week, recently she has been not wanted to talk to me and I she wont give me a straight answer. We are currently in college and she is going back home to Russia for the summer. She told me she doesnt want to start something new before she goes back and doesnt know how she feels about a long distance relationship. I tried talking to her today but a friend of hers snatched her away before we could talk about anything. Tomorrow she told me she would text me to get together and talk again.
I really dont know what to tell her about this because I dont want to force her to be in this relationship now if she doesnt want to. At the same time however, I feel like she might dump me and everything I have done up to this point has been for nothing. I really want this to work out but at the same time part of me wants to end the relationship if she doesnt feel like a long distance relationship would work out. And its not like she is leaving for good, it would only be in the summers. I dont see how it would really affect the relationship.
Any thoughts? | college girl I'm dating is from Russia and doesnt know if she wants to be in a long distance relationship over the summers halp |
t3_18n00s | travel | Do Americans go to Cuba through Canada? | Hi, I'm curious if anyone knows how strict the ban on Americans traveling to Cuba is. I'm an American citizen attending a Canadian school and got asked to go on a brief (1 week) trip to Cuba for reading week and heard Americans sometimes go through Canada and just don't stamp their passports. But it clearly says on the Department of State's [site] that the American govt will confiscate my passport if they figure out what I'm doing. Just wondering how strict this is, and if the stories I heard about the rules being pretty lax are true or really just stories. | OP wants to know if the embargo on Americans traveling to Cuba through Canada is strictly enforced. If anybody has ever done so then please PM me |
t3_1lgw1i | relationships | Me[22M] with my Gf[20F] over 2 years, tired of fighting for her to stay with me. | I will start off by saying I love my girlfriend. I would do absolutley anything for her just so she is happy. We have had this plan to move in together to a really nice city in a few months and I have been really excited. Unfortunately my girlfriend has been thinking other things. She has been thinking about moving in with her cousin really for away and she says she is torn.
On one hand she says she thinks she would be very happy living with me. She says she loves me and wants to be with me. But on the other hand she wants to go to this other place and try to make it there. She wants to go there to "grow up". She is constantly talking about going there to grow up and I don't get that.
I really love this girl and I have always told her I want her to be happy. But I don't want to keep acting like everytime we hangout is me fighting to make her stay with me. I believe that she will really be happy with me and this other place is some stupid hype her cousin is setting her up for. How do I tell her to stay with me? I can't keep acting like this is a healthy happy relationship when I'm constantly worried my girlfriend will leave me at the drop of a hat. I truly want her to do what she thinks will make her happy but I dont want to keep feeling like I dont matter. Please help! | Girlfriend can't decide if she wants to live with me in one city, or leave me and live somewhere else. |
t3_1fk49f | relationships | Dad with anger problems. Continue living at home or move out? | I [20 F] am living at home with a dad who has anger outbursts towards me, my brother [18 M] and my mom. He always apologizes after, but when he is explosively yelling at me or another member of my family a few times a week then his apologies are pretty hard to accept. It's always a "I'm sorry I yelled" but nothing ever changes with his attitude or behaviour. He has never hit any of us, but I am sometimes afraid that he will kill himself. I think he may suffer from depression or some other mental condition, but he won't go to counselling or therapy.
I am a student with another couple of years in university. I have some money saved up since I was little, but don't know if I should continue saving or look at getting a place of my own. I also don't have a car and work two jobs, both minimum wage.
Should I really consider moving out? Or just tough it out for another few years until I am done school. I am going into a profession where I may have part-time work and no full salary for a few years, so that is making me more hesitant as well. His behaviour really affects me, but sometimes it's not that bad. :/ | Should I move out with two years left in school and use up my savings? Or tough out an angry dad and stressful home. |
t3_3osgkg | relationships | I [17 M] am scared of getting too close/entering a relationship with this girl [17 F] | It's weird. For the past couple of years I've seen my friends get into their first 'serious' relationships, and all I've wished for is someone to come along and do the same for me. Along comes this acquaintance I've had for a couple of years. I talked to her here and there, but now we sit next to each other in class, and somehow I didn't realise before how great she is. She will go along with almost any joke I make, she is totally down for watching any and all movies and TV shows (I even wrote her a list of what I recommend which she has been working through lmao), and she's just stunning. And the insane thing is, she's the one who seems to initiate conversation with me almost everyday. I've never had a girl show this level of interest before.
And it scares me. Like, what if this girl does actually have feelings for me? We have flirted like hell in class before, and I'm pretty sure we both know what's going on at this point. But I have no idea how to handle it. I've never been in this position before. I've thought about it for so long that it becoming reality scares the shit out of me. What if I fuck up somehow? How am I gonna have a functioning relationship when my parents are overprotective as hell? What if my parents don't like her, or hers don't like me? And hell, it's obvious to everyone that I'm punching way above my weight here, so I'll have those comments to look forward to. Maybe it's just that I'm scared of opening up to someone. Like, the closer we get the more scared I become. It's completely irrational, and maybe I have commitment issues or something, but I just don't know if I'm being crazy or not. Anyone offer any advice? | Getting close with this girl, things are going well, but the closer I get the more scared I get of where things are heading. |
t3_2svd8d | personalfinance | Will getting a second job help me or hinder me? (UK) | I've been working at a popular pub/bar chain since November, and recently i've had my hours dropped to 16 per week. I currently earn £5.92 an hour, and at my current income tax rate that means i end up with roughly £75 a week. (My P45 is being processed, which should give me a rebate and dropping the % from 20 to 0)
This amount a week is enough to pay rent, (Rent per week in my flat is ~£95 but i only pay £15 of that due to housing benefits) Council tax, Electricity/Water and food, but I am left with little to no money at the end of the month. I want to learn to drive among other things, and with my current wages I simply don't have the funds. My question is that if i take on another job with a similar pay grade and hours, would i be effectively doubling my money, or would i have to pay more towards my Rent, Council Tax etc? I can choose to lock my hours at 16 thur-sat for the bar job, and get this second job mon-wed.
Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated, and if you need any more information to give an opinion just ask :) | Earn £5.92/h for 16hrs a week, want to get another job for similar money but will i have to pay a lot more towards rent/council tax etc? |
t3_269fu9 | relationships | Me [22/F] and my ex [23/M] broke up 3 days ago after a year and a half relationship. How long do I wait until we can talk again? | Me and my ex just broke up 3 days ago after dating for a year and a half. We still love each other and all but had to end it because I was moving to a different state and we both agreed not to do long distance.
I know it's only been 3 days but I miss him so much and want to get back together! It would really be pointless for us to get back together because of distance but it's so hard waking up and going to bed without talking to him! We went from talking to not talking at all. He's my best friend and not being able to talk to him while we're going through this is so hard! So my question is: how long do I have to wait until I can contact him again? | Dated a guy for a year and a half, moved and broke up 3 days ago, I can't handle NC, how long do I wait until we can talk again? |
t3_4jm2a7 | relationships | [Update] Is this inappropriate for my older friend [30M] to be saying/suggesting to me [18F]? | Original post: | gonna break off the relationship. if he still continues to pursue, i will take stronger actions. thank you so much to everyone for all the help. |
t3_uyp0v | AskReddit | Need Help: What the actual fuck is wrong with younger kids today? | This is my first post so sorry if I don't follow any conventions, I'm kinda relatively new here. Despite that however, I know you guys give great advice so I'm hoping you guys can help out. So basically, my mom just told me she called CPS and the police on a family in our neighborhood after talking to the youngest daughter of three (who's 6 years old, the other I was told was 11), and finding out that her oldest sister (12 years) assaults them with a knife for discipline or out of anger. I totally support my mother's actions. However, being the mature young adult that I am, MY concern is that the police just give this kid a slap on the hand and she gets even more pissed at her sisters for essentially snitching on her, causing the violence to get worse. I'm told that the girls already have numerous cuts on their arms, legs, and hands (the severity of which I'm unaware), and the last thing I want is for these girls to get carried off in an ambulance ultimately because my mom called the police and CPS (not that I think it was a bad course of action). What should I do, and what course of action can the police take in this situation? | Psycho kid cuts her sisters with a knife out of anger/discipline, mom called CPS, don't want things to get worse as a result |
t3_1m0m08 | legaladvice | What can I do about vandalism to my car? (Pennsylvania) | There's a little bit of a story to this but I'll try to make it as short as possible.
About a month ago I woke up to feces on my car (human or animal, i don't really know) and so I just cleaned it off and just thought "oh some stupid neighborhood prank." At the time my car was parked on the street, I am a college student but my college starts late so I'm at home with my parents and I can't park behind them because they work early in the morning. Anyway, just the other day my dog was barking almost all night and I was asleep with a headache so I didn't get up to look around and I didn't even think of the possibility of this happening again. My dad woke up and looked out the window turned on the front lights from upstairs because he saw people on our driveway (NOTE: car was parked in the driveway this time). We have this system where can control our lighs from anywhere in the house with a little remote thing or our cell phones. Anyway he turned the lights on and saw 3 people run away. This time they put toilet paper on the windshield spelling out "ILL" and it looks like they were trying to do more when my dad turned on the lights. That's not the worst part, I can deal with toilet paper, but they also either threw up or dumped throw up on my driver side door and all over the handle. I just recently graduated high school and there were some people that didn't like me but not enough to go and do this stupid stuff. Not to be cocky or anything but it is a sports car and it does get a lot of attention around the school, so Idk if that has anything to do with it. | Car got shit on a month ago, thought it was nothing, carried on. Just the other day, someone TPed and threw up on driver side, and ran away. |
t3_qmw5x | AskReddit | tale of karma | First, some background information. There is a girl at my school who i was one friends with. I will call her Jane for the sake of clarity. She was very mean at times. Eventually we had a nasty falling out that involved a lot of name calling and mutual friends taking sides. However, at school we are relatively courteous. My best friend (well call her Mary) experienced similar torment. The other day a girl asked Mary to check Jane's bag for her missing shirt. Jane, it seems, has a habit of taking other peoples things (particularly clothes). I have suspected her of stealing from me on multiple occasions. She found the other girls shirt, and decided to check Janes locker because her nice shoes had also gone missing. Unsurprisingly enough she found the shoes. Because Mary is awesome, she decided to casually sit in the pod with the shoes next to her. When Jane walked in, laughing and smiling, she saw my friend and started crying. She blamed it on not feeling well. Later that day she pulled Mary aside and told her she had taken the shoes because she had overheard Mary talking to a mutual friend about how it is hard to be friends with her due to her friendship with Jane. She said she stole the shoes "to worry her" and that she was going to give them back. My friend was then faced with the decision of whether or not to tell the school. This would be very bad for Jane, because she has had prior offences and could potentially be expelled. Mary decided a fair compromise would be to make Jane tell her parents (who are friends with Mary's parents). Jane threw a fit when she heard this. However, she did... on the phone. When she did, her mom came to school and confronted her about it. | Bitch steals from my friend, gets caught, and is forced to either tell her parents or get reported to the school |
t3_2gm4uo | relationships | How can I [23 F] communicate with my Dad [56 M] that I am concerned for his health without it being "nagging" or pushing him away? | A bit of background: My dad is a great guy. I love him very much and we have a good relationship. He is, however, very stubborn and he's the kind of guy who doesn't go to the doctor for anything, he won't take ibuprofen for a headache, and he loves his steak dinners. He walked around with an inguinal hernia for 2 years before "getting around to getting it fixed."
My dad has finally gone to a sleep study and the results showed that he has sleep apnea: he quits breathing for a few seconds several times an hour.
I was so glad that he was taking an interest in his health by doing this study! The results definitely pointed to him getting a CPAP to keep him breathing throughout the night. However... it has been months since the study, and he has not gotten a CPAP machine.
My mom and I have been asking him why he won't get a CPAP machine, and he basically clams up and says its nobody's business. I begged Mom to make him get the machine, and she says that he just tells her to stop nagging him.
Dad always mentions how he wakes up randomly at 3 in the morning and can't get back to sleep but I know if I bring it up, he'll get defensive. Whenever he says, "I don't know why I wake up all the time," I want to scream, "because you aren't breathing!" But I know that will drive him away... and the specialist told him during the study that this is the cause of his poor sleeping patterns. Is this denial of some sort?
I think him getting better sleep will improve his mood and encourage him to exercise more (which he needs as he has *untreated* high blood pressure and hyperlipidemia), not to mention help his overall health. I worry about him!
Does anyone have experience trying to talk to a family member who gets defensive over medical concerns? How can I reach him? I work in cardiology and see the consequences of ignoring certain health issues everyday :( | My dad has bad sleep apnea. He knows it but will not get a CPAP machine. He gets defensive when my mother or I ask about it. How can I approach him in a non-confrontational way? |
t3_15vk9e | offmychest | Guess i just didn't matter that much after all. | I was with a guy for two years, friends for several years before that. Our relationship was long distance and mostly awesome. Then we stayed our second year and slowly it blew up.
The last five or so months there was a slow decline. I still did everything i could for him, moral/emotional support, sweet cards and care packages, space when he needed it and constant never ending attention when he demanded it. Basically i made myself too accessible but because of our jobs and schedules the while year pissed and we hadn't been able to visit once.
My excitement peaked at being able to see him during my almost 1.5 week vacation from work. And on the Saturday before Christmas we fought and blew up me before hanging up. Almost two weeks later and the only thing I've heard from him is that he just wants to be friends but if the feelings came back cool... Via text. I already posted all of this to /r/relationships so I'm not confused on any of that, what I'm here for is...
Uuugh fuck you!!! I wasted do much time investing everything i had into you and all i get is bullshit! I put time, money and effort into you and your family to get kicked aside as if i never mattered! I'm better than that and I'm better than you, i don't know where such a terrible person came from because your mother is amazing.
You are a self centered, emotionally stunted man-child and good luck finding someone as good or better than me to put up with your shit. I promise you, unless you make some serious fucking changes, you will end up alone or incredibly miserable because you're with someone as shitty as you.
We were better as friends. I am not going to wait around for those feelings to maybe come back, i have better things to do. I deserve better than the hurt, pain and emotional manipulation you put me through. | dated emotionally stunted, self absorbed douche bag for two years and now i just want to punch him in his fucking face. |
t3_3ltivr | relationships | I [25 M] started dating a girl [23 F], after 3 dates she tells me she's not ready for relationships | Okay so we've had a great time going out and I can tell that our views on many things are the same. We kissed and held hands on dates, but today she said she realized she's not ready for relationships and her thoughts are 'somewhere else'.
She said that she likes me and that she has a great time with me, but that she needs some time and that she's sorry. I know she has recently broke up with her boyfriend. I've went through the same recently and I feel her well.
But what should I do right now? What should I tell her? I realize there's no other choice than to give her time and not bother her. But should I completely stop contacting her and maintain radio silence? Or should I try and comfort her and keep reminding about myself? I really like her and would like to win her heart. | Had a great time dating a girl, we kissed and hugged, then she said she's not ready for relationships and needs time. What's the best way to act on my side to win her heart? |
t3_42q34x | tifu | TIFU by offering a coworker some pizza. | This happened this morning. Today is Australia Day (happy Staya day everyone! Yep it's a thing). While others have the day off to get wasted, pass out in paddle pools and run around the streets in double pluggers and flags for capes, I am at work.
I work for a large newspaper and my colleagues and I decided to each bring in a share plate of food for lunch. I made pizzas last night and pre cut them so I could place them on a tray and serve them finger-food style.
I took the elevator up to my office on the second level and another worker from a different department got in with me. As the doors closed he looked at me, holding my tray of pizzas slices and said, "Can I have one?"
While I found it unusual to ask someone for pizza after having just met, in an elevator, without any kind of introduction or small talk, I figured 'hey, it's Australia Day, why not?', so I smiled and said "Sure!" I began unwrapping the plastic wrap that covered the pizza and he, looking puzzled said, "No, just one please."
I paused, confused and replied, "Yeah … no worries, that's cool." And proceeded to lift the plastic off so he could take one.
It was then that he pointed at the elevator's button panel which me and my pizza tray were blocking, and said, "No, level one, please."
The doors chimed and opened up to level two. I slowly turned and made my way out without another word, equal parts embarrassed and confused. | Offered pizza to a random coworker in the elevator when all he wanted was for me the press the button for the first level for him. |
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