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t3_4512qq | relationships | My (23M) older boss (48F) makes comments about how I look in front of coworkers and it's making me uncomfortable. | I work in a not-so-conservative office in CA and have a good rapport with the rest of the small department I work in. Since I've started working there a year ago my female boss, Sarah, has been making "innocent" comments about how I look. Originally it was small things like saying I have nice skin or saying I look nice/put together on a certain day to joking about wanting to see me jump out of a cake in a speedo at a company party for her (not making that up.) She'll also say things like "Can I be your princess and faint in your arms?" and dressing me in a company hoodie and saying how cute I looked in it and how I have to model it for everyone, then she actually took me to parts of the office to show me off while I awkwardly stood there. She also once said she saw how I looked in the interview she knew they needed to hire me, however she wasn't even the one who made the decision so it was just flippant and mildly degrading.
I usually laugh it off and am honestly a little flattered by the attention, but the people on my team are always like "Oh Sarah, someone from HR going to hear you sometime and write you up," but not seriously. It's getting to be a bit of a chore to deal with it and the people I work closely with have started rolling their eyes every time it happens. I don't feel very comfortable being alone in spaces with her even though I know she wouldn't actually try anything physical. She's very casual and joking like this with a lot of other employees, but I'm just about the only male employee she treats like this.
It's not something I want to escalate to HR or anything because I have no intention to get her in trouble since everyone seems to recognize it as part kid her personality. Mostly I'm tired of being embarrassed when she makes an over the top comment in front of other people. How should I deal with this? | Older female boss makes jokes and comments about my appearance, tired of it and want to know how to deal with the situation. |
t3_36watf | relationships | I'll be meeting the love (25M) of my (27F) life in 2 weeks but he's in contact less. Something I should worry about? | So back in January, whilst travelling, I met a guy through a mutual business we worked for overseas. We had an amazing 2 months together before saying we loved each other, and I flew back to our home country, the U.S. He's perfect.
Since then, we've spoken pretty much everyday, skyped about once a week despite horrible internet connections and the time difference.
Since leaving him, I've been invited back to the country we met in. He's left his travel buddy to organise a visa back into this country, and we're meeting in about 2 weeks.
My question is however, he's been a little less stringent with his contact over the last couple of weeks. I haven't heard from him in about 2 days. Is he chilling out because he knows we'll see each other really soon, or as per my past and horrible relationships, does it seem like he's met someone else?
He's skyped me more than usual this past week, which I think is either because he's lonely and missing me which he tells me often, or because he's gearing up to tell me there's someone else?
What do you think? | Am in love with the perfect guy, meeting him in two weeks but he's a little less conversational. Issue? |
t3_3jczen | relationships | My wife (47f) told me she wants a divorce, I had no clue she felt this way and even less of a clue about what to do | She said she hasn't been happy for a very long time. That I'm a wonderful father and provider but I've been emotionally absent with her for so long that she wants a divorce.
She said she loves me but just can't do it anymore, I admit I have been kind of distant because of work but I didn't know it was this bad and I had no clue she felt this way.
I asked her if there was anyone else and she assured me there wasn't. She even offered to let me look through her stuff. She told me it hurt because for her it had always been me and that she didn't even feel like a priority anymore, that there were times she felt like she wasn't even a third or fourth option in my mind.
Fuck. I love my wife and I think I'm going to lose her, I want us to go to therapy but I think it may be too late. | wife has been feeling unhappy for a long time and I didn't know or realize it, she wants a divorce, I want to work on our marriage |
t3_3v1u0x | relationships | Girlfriend [22/F] of 3 years broke up with me [24/M] in August, whirlwind since. | Long story short: Girlfriend and I were together for 3 years. We broke up once 2 years ago, but stayed in contact daily, and decided to give it another shot. This lasted a year -- which she stated was the happiest point in our relationship. We broke up in August because she said she needed time to herself. I respected that.
I reached out to her a week later, just to see how she was doing, and we talked for a while. We were in daily contact since, just as friends. When we talked about getting back together she said she still loved me but there were so unfixable issues, but that she really hoped that we could get back together "someday in the future."
Our conversations continued like normal (she would text me constantly) -- and over halloween we hungout (i hesitate calling it a date) and went to a corn maze, holding hands during the event. I kissed her on the cheek, and left it at that. We didn't have sex or any thing else because I wanted to respect her boundaries. I left that event thinking surely we would get back together at some point.
3 weeks ago, we got into a huge argument over a misunderstanding (i thought she was hiding something when she wasn't) in which I let my emotions get the best of me which caused an emotional fight.
We didn't communicate whatsoever for 2 weeks, until I reached out for her birthday. I brought up the incident and apologized, and she forgave me. But she stated that she was still pretty upset and even though she wanted me in her life, she thought it would be best not to communicate for a period of time, which I have respected (as hard as it may be).
I'm not really sure how to proceed here. As dumb as this may sound, I want her to miss me and have that feeling of wanting to talk to me again. But I feel as if I've dragged it out too long by being friend-zoned from August to November. Any advice? | Any advice on rekindling a 3 year relationship after being friend-zoned for 3 months and now in a period of no communication started by her after an argument? |
t3_3zlore | relationships | I[26F] with my (ex) boyfriend [25 M] of 6 months, I feel like I lost the love of my life, don't know how to proceed | I will try to keep this short, but I am still in shock. I met John at a music festival and then when I had knee surgery about a week later he offered to come down (we live about 7 hours apart) and take care of me for the weekend. I felt a strong connection to him so I agreed. I felt our relationship moved a little fast but he was always the one who took it to the next level so I thought it was ok. I have never felt so in love with someone, or found someone I have so much in common with.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, he got super drunk and hooked up with an old fuckbuddy at a party. He called me right away explained what happened and begged to have me back. He told me to give him a chance to be a better man. I was obviously upset but agreed to try to make it work because I loved him and thought he was truly sorry and had just made a mistake. He told me I was the girl he could see marrying and the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
Then a couple days ago he broke up with me to 'figure out stuff on his own because he was afraid he wasn't the man i needed and he didn't want to hurt me again'. I tried to tell him I knew he wasn't perfect and was willing to work through stuff with him and he said he just got "overwhelmed and was sorry he had to end what we had together".
Now the problem is I have never felt as connected to another human being in my life. I feel like I just lost the love of my life and I don't know if I should fight for him or let him go. I know I don't deserve to be treated this way, but my heart breaks when I think I'll never see him again. So I guess my question is do I give up on the love of my life (because honestly he's being an ass), or what do I do to fight for this relationship?
Sorry if this isn't clear/ for any grammar errors. Im just so heartbroken :( I appreciate your honestly but please be gentle | bf cheated, begged to have me back and then broke up with me. I still feel like I lost the love of my lifetime. help! |
t3_4436g3 | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] of 4 years. Pushing him away? | My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were 13/14 years old, we met in 2009 in our first year of high school and started dating in 2012. Went to the same college for 2013 -2015. And now are both back home, planning on moving in together again (we lived together throughout college in the town we went to school in) and getting married in 2018.
I always hear horror stories on here about high school sweethearts and them cheating/wanting other things and what not. So I try to keep the lines of communication with him as open as possible. He's not great at communication... He doesn't like telling me when he's upset about things because he doesn't want to upset me, or bother me. Which I've told him countless times that if something is wrong, I want to now. I want to help. So with wanting to keep communication open, I ask him a lot of questions... Like if he is still attracted to me, and that I've heard of many people in long term relationships losing those feelings for each other/one of them losing it. I'll ask if he regrets "settling" down so young, if he wishes he was able to sleep around in college (I was not his first. I was the third person that he had sex with. He was my first). I ask him about other women he thinks are attractive (which he to this day claims are none, lol despite the fact that 2 years ago he thought Jennifer Lawrence was more attractive than me -WHICH OF COURSE SHE IS- but apparently now she isn't. ) All in all, I just ask him a lot of questions - kind of to clarify that we're both on the same page.
I'm worried that by asking all these questions I'm pushing him away, and sabotaging our relationship. I'm a very insecure and anxious person and I'm not sure how to stop doing this or how to stop worrying that we'll be like the statistics. | Boyfriend and I have been together 4 years, started planning our futures. But I feel like I'm sabotaging the relationship/pushing him away by asking so many questions. How do I stop this? |
t3_2tozjf | personalfinance | Moved up income classes and would like advice on buying vs renting and buying a car | Here's a little background for context: I was fortunate to get a job that put me into the high middle class income bracket. My siblings and parents are able to support themselves financially because everyone is grown up but we grew up below the poverty line so I am always cautious about money and fearful that this situation might be too good to be true. My parents don't have any savings and basically their retirement plan is to live with one of us.
Anyway, I am deciding between buying a house or to continue renting. I want to live at a nice apartment so I'm willing to pay up to 1200 for a 1BR. However, for 1200/month I can potentially buy a 310K house in a location near the university. But I have about 40K in student loans w/ an average interest of 6%. I also want to buy a car because I am currently borrowing my mom's car to go to work. I have 10K in savings, contribute 15% to my company's 401K and after bills have a net savings of ~2k per month.
If I buy a house, I would be taking out a 300K mortgage and then have a 30K car with 40K in student loans with a total debt of 370K. However if I rent I will be paying 1200 per month with 70K in loans. I think buying a house would be a good investment because I anticipate the house to increase in value and I can potentially rent out 1-2 bedrooms reducing my mortage to about ~400/month. However I'm afraid that 370K is a lot of debt and that would be spreading myself too thin since I have no safety net if anything bad happens either at my job or with my family. I plan to stay at my current area for the next 3-4 years. What should I be considering when I'm thinking about buying/renting? Should I potentially live in a cheap $700 apartment and save more money til I have at least 20-30K before I revisit this decision again? Any advice will be appreciated. | rent or buy? 70k or 370k in debt? My family is poor so I have no saftey net if things don't work out. |
t3_48mb05 | relationships | Me [31F] with my?[39M], Should I call him? | In short this guy and I started the "getting to know each other phase" a couple of years ago but it slowly died out because we were both busy with school/work and I may not have shown much interest although I did enjoy our conversations. Lately, something just clicked in my head. I want to be with this guy. Problem is I haven't spoken to him in over 2 years and I am not sure if he's even available. Do I just call him out of the blue? Would that be creepy/weird? What would you suggest I say? "Hey, I know it's been a while...like a long while but I wanted to catch up with you and see what you've been up to?" Even if he is available would my approach weird him out? I should also add that I have messaged him on FB but he hasn't been active in a while and the message is still unread. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. | I haven't spoken to a guy in over two years, should I call him to see if he's available for a date? |
t3_12zn6g | AskReddit | Girlfriend just cheated on me. What are some steps to take in order minimize the pain? | I'll be brief as I she might see this (long shot). We've been together for almost 3 years now. We're in a semi-long distance relation now about 200km apart. She was meant to see me tonight for a nice dinner with some people. I didn't feel 100% so I left the dinner and went to the gym to relax. People left my place going in various directons. She went to this event where she was invited by this guy. They sleep together. She wakes up the next morning, comes back to my place, sneaks in when I'm in the shower, grabs her stuff, leaves, goes back to her home 200km away. I'm confused about wtf is going on. Eventually she calls me later today and tells me that she's cheated on me. I'm gutted. I end the convo before I get angry and say rude hurtful things.
Turns out I know the guy and he knows me. | 3 year long girlfriend with whom I was in a serious semi-long distance comes to visit me and bangs another guy. I know the guy, the guy knows me. What do? |
t3_2l8mu0 | tifu | TIFU by making a joke about a 7 year old on life support by accident. | Well reddit, im aware im an asshole I'll say that first off. So yesterday I fucked up and I realized about an hour ago how bad i fucked up. So i was casually playing games on my computer as i normally do after school, and both of my parents were out at my grandmothers house. So the phone rings and I answer.(Keep in mind I always joke on the phone when I first pick it up.)My moms friend called and she asked if my mother was home and i said no ill take a message though. She said its fine so i just said "yeah didn't you hear it's stage 3?" This is just me being a snarky asshole at this point. So fast forward a day and I'm doing the same thing, playing games after school and my dad walks in and says "Guys, say a prayer tonight for your mothers friends son, he's on life support right now and they're cutting it off tomorrow." At this point I know I done fucked up hard as shit. I then spent the next 20 minutes telling my friend how much of an asshole I am on skype. The poor kid was 7 and died from eating **CHEESE** ON A PIZZA and had a reaction and had no oxygen for 30 minuets. I feel like a complete dick right now and i deserve it 100% | I made a joke about a stage 3 disease about a kid whos 7 years old and is bread dead getting life support pulled the next day. |
t3_nucd8 | BreakUps | I feel like my life has been a lie | I broke up with my boyfriend on November 29th. I thought I was healing, but new information surfaced recently that has re-opened this giant wound.
J. (22) and I (20) had been together for 2 years, one year and two months of that we were living together. He had a job for approximately 2 months of that time frame. I know it was stupid of me to keep him around, but he's a giant guilt trip in human form. **Anyway**, I found out about a week ago that he had been cheated on me right after we moved in together. I confronted the girl (out of anger) only to find out that she had a list of other people he had slept with. one of them being **my best friend**.
I found that part out a few days ago, right before I went to visit my mom's house for Christmas. So here I am, thousands of miles away on what should be a fan-fucking-tastic trip, and every few minutes I get this massive adrenaline rush, knowing how all of my friends have betrayed me.
I took care of him, supported him, cooked and cleaned, I rubbed his feet and I made sure that I gave him everything I could (which attributed to massive amounts of my paycheck), and in return he mooched off of me, hurt me, cheated on me....
I know I was dumb for letting it continue, but he's a charmer and every time I brought anything up he flipped it on me to make me feel bad.
I don't know how to deal with something like this. I'm tired of hurting, and I don't know how to heal from both of their betrayals. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to trust anyone anymore.
help..... | scumbag mooching boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend; hurting badly; don't know how to heal. plz help. |
t3_4wepwh | AskDocs | Started freaking out and feeling confused over nothing. | So the other day I visited the lake and I got water up my nose. Being the hypochondriac I am I immediately thought I had gotten PAM from naegleria fowleri. All I did was think about it to the point that it made me sick. I started imagining the symptoms and I thought I was going to die. I was having panic attacks and just in general freaking out. I didn't help that I'm in the middle of a sinus infection and symptoms are similar. Is it normal for a person with anxiety to have that happen? I started feeling confused and just feeling out of my body that's how worried I was, I also kept forgetting things and just kinda felt like I was floating on by. I'm still worried. What happened to me? I'm so confused. I don't really know if this is an askdoc's post, but I just kinda needed to vent because I'm still worried about what happened. I went to the doctor because my dad was really worried about me and the doctor didn't really do anything he just said I have a sinus infection. That didn't really help because the antibiotics he gave me made me nauseous and made me further think I have PAM.
Age: 16
Sex: M
Duration: 3-4 days
Existing medical conditions: General Anxiety Disorder
Location: Minnesota, USA | Thought I got a life threatening illness (still kinda worried that I might have it due to me panicking), so I started panicking and didn't feel like myself for days, I still don't really feel like myself. |
t3_pel12 | AskReddit | Pirating software, if the compagnies put malware in it that destroys the computer is it legal? | Long story short, i wanted to some special photo manipulation and try some software before i even considered buying it, that software had a watermark which render the photo useless to see if it was worth it. In order to try it, i got a privated version, installed it and it removed some files which made me loose time (money and some work).
After some debug, it can clearly see, it's the makers of the software that infected the software (they clearly say it & they brag about it). Which leads to ask myself, is it legal? I can't understand third-parties adding malware/spyware but the orginal makers? | Is it legal for software compagnies to release pirated version of their software that destroys/harms your pc? |
t3_2cx5bz | relationships | Me [45 M] with my ___ [46 F] wife of 10 years - I'm thinking of being more controlling about money | My wife hasn't worked for our entire marriage for various lame reasons. I was concerned about retirement planning and budget and we met with a financial planner at the beginning of this year - she and I both agreed on the budget, long-term financial goals and the planner said it would be feasible with my single income.
At this point, we have saved $0 instead of the $3k we should have. While my wife is generally not crazy with the credit card or anything, I feel like she is not as strict as we need to be with the budget and she is setting us back.
Since I make all the money, how terrible would it be for me to just take 100% control of expenses, giving her a cash allowance and not allowing her access to credit card or savings if things go over. She always has this idea that we can just roll stuff over into the next month, it will all work out.
It's not working out. Also, having no financial say may encourage her to get off her ass and get a job. I know this will create conflict in our relationship, but avoiding upsetting her has created a long list of problems. | wife doesn't work, we have money trouble, how bad of an idea is it to take away her access and control of the money? |
t3_jn29o | dating_advice | Should I go for it? | So Im off work and I go into one of my favorite bottle shops in my area to pick up a nice Stone before heading home to cook dinner for myself. When I get to the checkout counter a very attractive girl, that has rung me up before, comes over so I can pay for my beer. I usually don't initiate conversation with people Im buying things from as I usually assume they want to complete the transaction as quickly as possible so as to return to what they were doing before or to move customers along. But she initiated the conversation so here we go.
Let me preface this next part by informing you that my close friend believes this to just be good customer service, nothing more.
She starts in with asking how my day is going and it leads to her asking what I did for a living how I liked it, what time of the day I usually work, and where I live/work at [not specific but if I lived around the shop and worked in downtown as well] all the while keeping pretty good eye contact with me. All this sort of gets my attention as Im only really asked stuff like that when Im on a date when its still the whole "getting to know each other" phase. Anyway money is handed and change handed back and we tell each other to have a nice day while exchanging a warm smile. | girl at bottle shop starts asking me personal questions I usually only get on a date or when someone is interested in me. Not sure if just good customer service. |
t3_upaud | relationships | Am i a fool? Should i leave her? Help reddit!! | I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and counting and 9 months into the relationship I found out that her boyfriend of 3 years was in jail and she was still with him, writing letters, and going to see him.
Ok Well a few months after that ordeal I find that some guy in her class knows everything about our problems and she had a little crush on him, some said he was her confidant? Well him and a few others she would secretly text. I know it sounds bad on surface but I never knew she was like that because she was sweet, caring, loving, I never thought she would do that. I only stayed because at the time of all of this I started talking to an ex again, and started hooking up being spitefull and to get fair so I thought I was.... I never felt better about any of this and we act as if it never happend. Do I leave her reddit?? More and more I feel foolish like I let her get away with this. I've come to hate ppl, not trust anyone, and I'm still in this relationship. Any advice or help?.. support maybe? Help! | my girlfriend had a boyfriend that went to jail, she is still with him. Had a crush on her friend. i Found out. Should i stay or leave even though we love eachother.. |
t3_gw2qa | dating_advice | To ask or not to ask (five years later) | Dearest Reddit,
I am an introverted person yet I have had a friend for approximately a decade now who is very extroverted. She is very nice/fun person, and we get along well together even though we don't share many interests (which many mutual friends find slightly odd).
Around the beginning of high school, hormones kicked in and I have been crushing on her since. We went to a dance together once (I asked, she gladly agreed) but it was a little beat. Towards the end of high school, I let her know I really liked her (indirectly, online) but she said she wanted to remain friends which we have to this day. We never spoke in person about this online conversation.
Since then, I tried getting interested in other people, but nothing went anywhere. I still would see her occasionally since we went to college together and she is friendly as usual. College has since ended yet I still feel the same about her as I did 8 years ago.
Reddit, is this something worth pursuing still or is my only choice to move on?
Age: Currently 23 | Not sure whether to ask out again a friend of 10 years after given the "stay friends" answer 5 years ago. |
t3_2ee6da | relationships | Me [25F] with my [23M] started dating, I am not physically attracted to him. | I need input on something... I'm scared to post because of the possibility of me sounding like a shallow bitch but here it goes.
I'm in my mid 20's and currently dating a guy... it's been going on for a few weeks now.
He's everything I could ask for, emotionally. The only thing is, physically he is not my type, at all. As much as I would want this to work, I'm not turned on with his specific features/hair/the way he dresses. It makes me feel less attracted to him, and I can't feel what he's feeling with me.
I know this makes me a shitty person, but I really want to give him a chance. He is the nicest guy I have ever gone out with, and I don't want to hurt him, at all. I want this to work, too!
I'd like some input on this, hopefully someone has gone through what I've gone through with a happy ending? | Dating the nicest and best guy ever but I'm not physically attracted to him at all. I want this to work! |
t3_2g6r7g | relationships | Dating after divorce with kids | I[M40] divorced my wife[F40] in the spring. She told me that she needed space to figure out why she was unhappy in our marriage. A few weeks later, I caught her having an affair with a co-worker. I begged her to go to counseling to save the marriage but she refused so I filed for divorce. We had been married for 15 years and have two children. I was awarded full custody of the children and we moved out. They live with me now and know nothing about the affair but don't want anything to do with their mother. The children are very happy and I'm so happy to have them with me full time. They mean everything to me and are by far the most important thing in my life. But there is a huge hole in my life. I met my ex in college and was faithful to her my entire adult life, so I've never been with anyone else. I miss being in a relationship, but I don't know how to go about finding anyone else. Also, I feel guilty for even wanting a relationship thinking instead that I just need to concentrate on my kids right now. I'm not looking for anything too serious--just someone to talk to and hang out with, but I feel stuck not having any time now for anything except the kids, and not knowing how go about meeting anyone else even if I had the time. | Do I need to forget about a relationship right now? If not, how do I go about finding someone new?. |
t3_odo7b | AskReddit | How can I explain to my brother that his relationship with his girlfriend will not be incest if our mother dates the girl's father? | So my mother has been divorced from my father for a very long time, as long as I can remember. She has not seen anybody in the last 5 or so years because of her run-ins with abusive boyfriends. Recently however, she met a man that has made her pretty happy and he is a really decent guy. It's a wonderful thing in my opinion and it's great to have my mother happy again... here's the problem though.
That guy is the father of my brother's girlfriend.
My brother is having a really hard time with this, he believes that because of my mom getting with this guy that he can no longer be with his girlfriend, who he has been with for about 3 or so years, because it would be incest.
How can I explain to him that this would not be incest and that he shouldn't throw away this relationship with his long-time girlfriend because of it? | Mom has a new boyfriend, it happens to be my brother's girlfriend's father. He is freaking out because he thinks it's incest, how can I explain it to him? |
t3_ds00n | AskReddit | Caught my boyfriend of two years with a file of pictures of exgirlfriends and my friends on his computer... | Backstory:
I've been with this guy for two years, and I can't say the relationship has been perfect or easy, but it has certainly been worth it so far. I bought him a netbook about a year ago for his online classes. A few nights ago, he was out with friends and I wanted to watch a TV show on the netbook, so I was looking for it and happened upon some porn. I don't have any problem with porn, so that didn't bother me. But I became curious. So I snooped a bit, looking for the rest of his collection, mostly because I wondered what he liked. Instead, I found a folder titled Misc. In the folder were pictures of his ex-girlfriends and lovers, and pictures of a few chick acquaintances of mine and my roommate. The pictures weren't dirty, but a few were in bathing suits or slutty clothes. He seems to have taken them off Facebook with obvious intentions. I've confronted him about it, and he has admitted their purpose and what not. I just don't know where to go from here. I love him and I want to try to make it work if it seems logical, but I don't know what it means. | Long-term boyfriend is jacking off to pictures of ex-girlfriends and my friends which he got from Facebook. What does that mean and where do we go from here? |
t3_2wps9w | relationships | My (23/m) girlfriend's (22/f) disgusting habits are ruining our relationship, but she doesn't see a problem. | My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and we've gotten very comfortable with one another. I think she's gotten a little too comfortable or either just doesn't care anymore, but her her habits are repulsive.
To start off, she doesn't wash or change her bras regularly. I know that girls don't change their bras super regularly, but she wears hers for weeks on end without washing them, or if she does, she wears them until they're extremely gross.
She also works out a lot and is a very heavy sweater and when she comes home (we don't officially live together, but are at each others places a lot) she likes to sit around all day and get on all of the furniture and stink up the place. And if we're not going anywhere, she'll not shower or brush her teeth until we go out and I find that absolutely disgusting.
Finally, the past few times that she's been on her period it's been either a week or two early or a week or two late and its happened when we were sleeping, so I've woken up to blood all over the both of us and we've had to throw away tons of bed sheets. I get that she can't really help when her period comes, but I think she could at least take some precautions like sleeping with a tampon or pad on but she just looked at me like I was stupid. She also won't shower for the first couple of days when she gets her period. I know that she Has really bad cramps and all that, but when I suggest that maybe getting the sweat and dirt and blood off of her would make her feel better, she gets pissed and tells me that I don't understand.
I know that some of these things may be minor to some people, but to me these are huge. And the fact that she just disregards my feelings as me overreacting or telling me its not a big or that I'm too clean really bothers me. I don't know how to make her understand that this is a serious issue to me without breaking up. | Girlfriend has really nasty habits that are causing me to want to break up with her and she doesn't see how they're problems and doesn't care how I feel about any of it. |
t3_2nw1j2 | relationships | My [19 F] ex boyfriend [20 M] broke up with me because he thinks he doesn't deserve me. | My ex and I were together for over a year and everything seemed perfect. He broke up with me about two months ago and didn't give me much of an explanation however, we talked two weeks ago and he says that it was because he didn't feel worthy of me and felt like he didn't deserve me.
I want to help him realize that he does deserve me. We have so much in common and we are so good for each other, the relationship was great and we were both happy. I want us to get back to that place.
I still love him and i want to show him that he does deserve me. How can i do that? and do you think that it is possible for us to get back together? | Boyfriend thinks he doesnt deserve me and broke up with me, how can i tell him that he does and fix the relationship? |
t3_yubsg | relationships | I [20F] wish I could have a do-over of how my (admittedly wonderful) relationship [with 22M] started. :[ | I'm in a wonderful relationship of 10 months with a man who is open-minded, affectionate, attractive, intellectually stimulating, fun to be around, communicative, trustworthy, *etc., etc.* I'm comfortable as hell when I'm with him and I think what we have is amazing. That being said...
I was browsing r/relationships as per usual, when I came across [this gem of an question by hellolily] on how to know if you're settling in a relationship:
>How do you know? If you were single right now, would you date your girlfriend or look for someone else?
Now this question REALLY made me think. If I was single right now and meeting my boyfriend for the first time, YES I would be interested in dating him... BUT I would also want to date other people casually for a while, not tie myself down, and just put off commitment to a relationship for a month or two, yunno?
Am I having commitment issues here? When we met and started dating, I had been actively "putting myself out there" with the intent of meeting new people and gaining relationship experience... I had been going on several first dates with different people in the meantime. But he stepped into my life, as incredible as he is, and I fell for him, *hard.* And FAST! We DTRed as exclusive a mere week after meeting in person for the first time (met online a couple weeks before that).
Knowing then what I know now (not anything specific to my relationship, just a general increase in maturity/patience/cautiousness I guess), if I could do it over I would never have jumped in so fast. But it hasn't negatively impacted our relationship or anything! Also, even IF I had kept things casual for a month or so and been dating other people, I'm still about 99% sure we would have ended up together and been just as happy. I just wish it had been different, and I can't put my finger on why. :( | I've done some growing up since my relationship started, and the person I am today would have taken things much slower at the outset than the old me did. |
t3_23axc5 | relationships | He (22M) confessed to wanting a relationship with me (21F) | He's an amazing guy in all honesty but I worked so hard in making myself accept the fact that our relationship was only that of good friends. Especially since its been a month or so that I have been single and not wanting anything new. He is the reason I went back to being the girl I use to be (a good thing) .
I slowly started to realize the impact I have on him. He's always covering me in kisses. Calling me babe infront of my friends. Telling me that he's never loved someone this much in a long time. This past weekend he confessed that he was thinking of starting a relationship. This is coming from a guy that just doesn't date anybody.
I am so confused. I do love him... a lot. Everytime I look at him now I am left speechless and avoid any body or eye contact. I want to tell him how I feel but the words won't come out. I need help because this kind of love is completely to new to me. | Friend wants to start a relationship, don't know how to respond to his request after working so hard to accepting just a friendship. |
t3_13q3zy | relationships | Is there any hope for our marriage OR did I kill it? [39M / 33F] | I am expecting 2x4s since I have made mistakes. I'm not going to deny that at all. I've been with my wife for 7 years and we have been married for 3 years. We have one daughter who is 5. I'm 39 and she is 33. Our relationship is very typical and some ups and some downs. We both have tremendous love for one another and we have been through so much together and we are great parents to our daughter.
January 2011 I started to work in Washington D.C. and we went long distance. I had a great job opportunity and there were a lot of reasons to take the position and it was good for our family. When we were apart I made some poor decisions. I would rather not go into detail but I cheated more than once with more than one woman. There was one woman in particular who I was involved with more seriously and she gave birth to a baby this August that was recently confirmed to be mine. I haven't told my wife yet about the baby.
I want to make major changes to our life. I don't want to continue the lying and deceit and the long distance. I want to confess to my wife, enter into counseling and have her and our daughter move here and us to start over. I don't know if that is a fairy tale for me to believe. If I confess to my wife and change is there any chance that our marriage survives or is it too much? | I cheated on my wife while we were long distance and I had a child with another woman. I want to change and be a better husband now but I am not sure if there is any hope for us. |
t3_1q1pxl | relationships | Is my GF [F20] being a cheap skate or am I [M21] being selfish? | Hello Reddit.
My girlfriend and I just celebrated our one year. Obviously we both planned on giving each other gifts. Let me preface this by saying we are both working college students, so were both trying to save money so we can pay for schooling.
I thought since it was our one year anniversary as dating, it would be our opportunity to give each other something nice. I decided to go out and get a dozen roses custom made and it ended up being around 60 dollars plus a card.
I don't really want to go into too much detail on what she gave me because I know she uses reddit, but what she gave me totaled to about probably 10 dollars, and that is being generous. I wouldn't be surprised if it was less than 5.
Now, I know that we are both trying to save money, but I know for a fact that she has been pocketing almost all of her paycheck every two weeks for over two years all the while claiming she never has any money. I'm almost always the one who covers stuff, unless were just going out to lunch or something. But for anything formal, it's on me.
Money is just as short with me, but I went out of my way to get her something nice to make her feel good, but I just feel as though she did the bare minimum so she could keep saving money. She even said "I wasn't expecting anything big from you so I just put something small together." like it was somehow my fault that she put like literally nothing together.
I don't know what to think, reddit. On one hand, I feel as though she is being selfish and not wanting to sacrifice a bit for me. And on the other hand, I know that I could be being selfish. She did write a long, nice letter along with the gift, but it was written on lined paper and there was literally nothing else with it besides the gift.
Any advice? | Girlfriend of one year gave me a really cheap gift and I don't know if I'm being selfish or if she is being cheap. |
t3_4ex3kz | relationships | Me [23 M] with one of best friends [24 M]. He wants me to go to his graduation but I'm 3 hours away. I don't really want to go but I'm feeling shitty about it. | One of my close friends is graduating next week. I've known him since the seventh grade. I work a job that gives me 3 days weekends often in return for longer hours the following week. His graduation falls on one of my weekends off. He asked me to come a few weeks ago and I told him, I didn't know my schedule at the time ( which was true). He mentioned it again last week.
I'm not interested because I honestly believe graduations are overhyped. I wasn't interested in my own last year. I see it only as a formality. I haven't said anything yet but I'm really not keen on driving 3 hours there and back in the course of a weekend for something that I'm not interested in. I feel really shitty because he came to mine - granted he was only an hour away at the time. I know I have been drifting away from my friends ever since I moved away for a job and am wondering if this is a symptom of it. | Close friend is graduating next week. He wants me to come. I live 3 hours away. Never thought much of graduations but I feel like a shitty friend if I don't go. |
t3_46y7fp | tifu | TIFU by making my friend cry. | Like most people on here, I occasionally partake in smoking the devil's lettuce. My friend Bryan somehow gets the most red eyes i've ever seen, so naturally he always makes sure that someone has eyedrops when we smoke and is always the first one to ask to use them. So he asked me to use the drops after and he starts putting them in and says "God damn these really burn! are these Rotos?" and my baked ass says "quit being a pussy." As he's putting them in his other eye he yells "HOLY FUCK what is with these drops?!" And that was the moment I realized I FU.
A couple months earlier, in my stoned stupor I was worried about being drug tested, and heard that bleach dripped into your urine sample would "kill the THC" according to one of my friends. So i emptied out a container of clear eyes and filled it with bleach and then forgot that i'd done that. As tears were flowing from his face, Bryan was reminding me how im the stupidest fucking person that he's ever had the displeasure of knowing. After about a half hour of verbal abuse from him whilst rinsing his eyes out with water, his eyes are as white as I've ever seen them. | idiotically put bleach in a bottle of eyedrops and forgot, gave them to a buddy, almost blinded him, turns out bleach is the most effective eyedrop. |
t3_341mb6 | legaladvice | Question about security deposit in Maryland | Hello,
I have a question about a security deposit issue in Maryland. Last year I, foolishly, agreed to co-sign an apartment lease for two individuals that I knew. Long story short, once the lease ended at the end of December 2014, I never heard from either individual again. I was told that they had successfully moved out of the apartment but I am not even sure where they moved to.
Anyway, last Friday, about 100 days after the lease ended I got a notice from a collections agency saying I was on the hook for over 1,000 dollars in "repairs" to the apartment that the security deposit didn't cover.
It was my understanding that the apartment management had to notify me withing 45 days if there was an issue but I never received such a notice. My question is, in Maryland, does each individual on the lease need to receive a copy of the security deposit issues or is it sufficient if only one individual receives it. Of course I am unable to get in touch with either of these two people so I can not confirm if they have or have not received such notice. | Does every individual on a lease in Maryland need to be given, within 45 days, a description of all security deposit issues and if so, since I didn't receive such a notice what is my options with the collections company? |
t3_1lqa6d | relationships | [20M] and [18F] just started a relationship. Not sure what I'm getting myself into... | I am a 20 year old introverted guy that is about to get sent off to basic training in a few months. I just met this amazing girl... but my friends have quite a bit of feedback on her.
There are two problems. The biggest of the two: I really like her! She really likes me, too! (So, she says.) Both of us are about to go off in two totally different directions. I am about to join the military, entailing I am going to be everywhere moving all the time. She is going to go back to the states and start college very soon. Both of us will start these things by the beginning of next year...
Problem number 2. And this is a problem I hate myself for considering a problem... She seems like a fantastic girl. However, my friends immediately cringed at the sound of her name and they all told me of her "colorful history..." Past is past and nobody needs to be bringing old shit back up. But the LAST thing I need is to be screwed over, cheated on and left in the dirt to slowly rot. Basically she has an extensive history to jump onto any opportunity if it has the word "sex" in it. Two of my friends claim that she has cheated on two of her boyfriends in the past. I talked to her about it, but she says this isn't true and got fuming mad at the accuser... (not me) and she does indeed sleep around a lot, as long as she is NOT in a relationship. Which is no problem! I'd do the same thing! What I don't need is for her to be keeping up that habit while in a relationship with me...
She is typically one that goes out on Friday nights to get shit-faced drunk. While I'm a stay at home kind of guy that likes quiet evenings and just wants to chill out. | ? Just started relationship. Going to be going seperate ways soon. Also, girlfriend can't seem to keep her dick in her pants, rumors say. |
t3_3b162w | relationships | My (F26) coworker (M29) giving me mixed signals before and after we hooked up. | My coworker showed interest in me a few months ago and eventually asked me out. We went on a couple dates, but I noticed by the end of the second he seemed less enthusiastic than he had even at the beginning. We made plans to hang out again, but he flaked several times; I was annoyed enough to tell him to just forget it and moved on.
At work he held back for a little while, then returned to his usual self, though being more flirtatious and giving me compliments. Eventually we did meet up again and slept together. It was fun and we both seemed to enjoy it. I was definitely looking forward to pursuing something casual with him, so I initiated an invite to hang out again and he begged off. I was annoyed, again, but I shrugged it off. That was about a month and a half ago. More recently I was thinking maybe I hadn't been bold enough so I asked him to hang out and he again completely flaked. I decided this was the last straw, seriously this time. But here's where I'm confused, now he's being flirtatious with me again, like often going out of his way and acting all cute.
Honestly, all I really want is to just meet up and have sex again; I want to say he seems interested, yet when it comes to actually making plans, he's barely reachable. I would get over it if not for the way he acts at work. It seems deceptive. Should I maybe confront him about it, or should I just try to let it go? I'm a bit bugged also because this other person who just got hired seems rather into him and I feel a silly little twinge of jealousy at the idea that he might hook up with her too. | I'm interested in coworker, he seems interested too, yet he keeps holding back. Why might that be and what should I do about it? |
t3_37781s | offmychest | SIL is afraid to tell me she's pregnant because she thinks it will make me sad that she got pregnant first. | Buckle in for a story....
Last week my younger brother told me that he and his new wife are expecting their first child. I was beyond excited for him! Our parents divorce 12 years ago was really rough on him and really turned him against marriage and having kids, until he met his now wife.
He wasn't supposed to tell me yet, but he couldn't help him self. Part of the reason was because they haven't been married that long, and their still young (23 yo). But she wasn't on the pill and so it was bound to happen. But then he told me, that she's afraid to tell me because she is afraid it will make me sad or upset.
My husband and I have been married for two years now, but we've been together almost 8. Just this last year we've both landed secure jobs, and have started to save up some money. So of course the next logical step for me was to start talking about a baby. It's been a rough year in that department. My husband just isn't ready and I really am. There's been some tears shed.
But lately my tune has changed. We leave for my first over seas trip in less than a month and we're doing it up right...Australia, baby. And in preparation for this trip I've been thinking, there's a LOT I want to do before we have kids. I want to travel and do things. Yes, I still want kids and sometimes the baby fever is severe, but for now I think I'm ok.
So no sweetie, I won't be hurt or sad when you're ready to tell me. I'll be even more excited when I can start bragging about that little nugget. I'm ready to be THE coolest aunt any kid has ever had.
I love you guys and I cannot wait | SIL is worried I'll be upset that she got preggers first since I've been married longer. I'm totally ok. |
t3_1yl56c | relationships | I [20F] am just getting into the dating scene for the first time. My main fear is will sex be expected. | So I was in a relationship for 5 years (LDR) where we never really did the "dating" thing. So here I am going out into the dating world for the first time. While I had sex with my first boyfriend (2 years into the relationship) I do not think I will start having sex anytime soon into a relationship (but this is also something I am trying to figure out). I feel like sex is kind of expected after a certain point, and I know the whole "if he's the right person he will wait" spiel. But, from your experiences is sex expected after a certain amount of time? How much time? And how do I approach the topic?
Also if any of you have been in a similar place I would love to hear your stories, whether they are specifically sex related or not. | Is sex expected a certain amount of time into a relationship? How long into a relationship? How do you handle the situation if you do not want to have sex with them yet? |
t3_1tluob | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [26M] 8 months, He is dealing with depression but I still have hope for us - how do I stop being so insecure? | Hello :)
So, my boyfriend is depressed after quitting his job 3 months ago (or he quit because he was depressed). Since then, he's changed a lot. He is very distant and doesn't speak to me a lot. We will have maybe 1-2 conversations a week. He is confused because he loves me and doesn't want to end things. He just feels really bad about the way he's treating me and thinks he's bringing me down.
For me, yes, he's not being there for me right now but he's going through something and I want to help him. I want to get through this period and see how we come out on the other side.
The problem is, when he doesn't talk to me for so long, I start getting really insecure and sad. I start thinking he doesn't want me anymore. But that's not true. I don't message him first anymore - if he's in a mood where he needs space, he will ignore it. So, I guess I'm asking how to be more secure with his love, even though he can't show it right now?
It would be great to get the perspective of people who have dealt with this before. | Boyfriend is depressed and has become distant but still wants me in his life. I also still want him but how do I become less insecure regarding him not talking to me so often? |
t3_y5lji | relationships | I [19] am having trouble trusting my girlfriend [19]...about anything. | Hey everyone, I'm coming to you with a problem. I'm 19 y/o male, and my girlfriend is 19 as well. We've been dating for 3 months.
She has been naive before and "lied" about a couple things. One instance is that I asked her who she texts during the day and she replied with "just you and Jenny (her best friend)." When I was with her I went to the messages on her phone and I found a bunch of random dudes were texting flirting with her. One sent a picture of himself and then asked for one of her (normal pictures) but then recounted about having sent a boxer pic in the past with my girlfriend just replying "lol yeah." Her answer when I asked about this was that she wasn't texting any of them consistently and it wasn't enough to count.
I'm wondering if I'm being too jealous. I don't care if she has guy friends she texts, but none of these guys are friends. They just want to get into her pants because before we dated she would go on dating apps and talk to these dudes, sending them naked pics when they asked. The past is the past, but shouldn't she have at least made clear she had a boyfriend?
Ever since then I've distrusted her. I understand a little bit of distrust is normal after feeling like you've been lied to, but it's overboard. If she doesn't text back after a couple hours or seems to be vague when I ask her what she's doing, I start thinking. When this happens I always think that she's cheating on me.
I've never accused her of cheating, and I don't think she has it in her, she's a good woman. But I want to know how to tackle this distrust problem I have, and if the community thinks that I was wrong to get jealous over her allowing the men to flirt with her and sending a pic to the one guy. Am I in the wrong? Or was I right to feel threatened? | I have issues with trusting my girlfriend, and want to know if it's appropriate to send normal pictures to other people when you're in a relationship. How can I overcome these issues and am I wrong in thinking she was inappropriate? |
t3_yd69m | AskReddit | Last night I had and extremely vivid 'waking dream'. I woke up to find a shadow figure looming over my bed... Has anyone else experienced a waking dream? What was it like? | Last night at around 3 in the morning, I woke up in my bed. Next to me, looming over my bed was a figure... It was completely black, opaque and looked two-dimensional. It had an exaggeratedly large mouth with sharp teeth, and was raising a claw-like hand... no eyes or any other features. It didn't make a sound, but within about a second or two of me waking, it jumped *into* the wall and quickly scurried around (almost spiderman-like fashion) to the other side of the room, making clawing sounds on the walls, and then disappeared. I laid in bed for a few moments, and then sat up. The odd thing was, I didn't feel frightened. I *knew* it was a dream, but I also *knew* I was awake when it happened. I was able to fall asleep without much trouble after that.
[I drew this picture to illustrate what I saw.] Please forgive its crumminess.
I've had waking dreams before, but they've almost always have been auditory hallucinations. They've also always coincided with sleep-paralyses. This is the first time I've had a really vivid visual hallucination and was able to continue to wake up from it without any difficulty. I can see why some people, if they had this experience, would attribute it to demons, ghosts or aliens... it really is shocking how real it seems.
Has anyone else experienced any extremely vivid waking dreams or sleep paralyses? | Woke up, saw shadowy figure standing over me. Figured it was a really vivid waking-dream/hallucination. Has this shit happened to you? |
t3_3dvrq6 | relationships | My [20 M] ex [F 18] cheated on me a few months back. I still have feelings for her, and yesterday learned she was trying to hook up with my best friend. | Title is pretty self explanatory. The details of her cheating on me aren't really important, but it hit me pretty hard. She was the first girl I actually loved, and I'm still dealing with the anger, sadness and self esteem issues that come with something like this.
The other day, she started sending me pictures of her hanging out with my best friend. I was a little hurt at first that my best friend was spending time with this girl who had torn my heart out, especially since they weren't "friends" before we broke up.
I spoke to him about it, and he told me while she was flirting with him and trying to hook up with him, he would never reciprocate. I don't know if I'm taking this too hard, but I'm a real mess right now.
I've always had bouts of depression, but nothing like this. I don't want to have to feel like this day after day. I'm hurt that my best friend didn't talk to me about what was going on until I brought it up. I'm hurt that he continues to hang out with her even though he knows her intentions. Most of all, it's driving me crazy that this girl I loved/still love doesn't want anything to do with me but thinks my best friend is worth hooking up with. | S/O of half a year cheated on me, I still love her and now she's trying to hook up with my best friend. |
t3_uehov | AskReddit | Let's hear your stupid teacher stories? I'll go first! | It's kind of long story...
Back when I was a young 14 year-old, my math teacher used to pick on me. Always poking fun in class, berating me for not "showing my work", and a number of times said "You couldn't have done that in your head... you're cheating".
He convinces my dad, parental consent needed, that I should be held back at least a grade. The whole "teacher doesn't like me" doesn't work.
To determine what level I was at, they send me to the school counselor to administer a test. It's called "The Stanford Diagnostic Math Test"... I finished it in under 15 minutes, to which the counselor, surprised, said "You should check your work"... "I already did". "Ok, please come back on your lunch."
Fast forward lunch period...
Counselor: "Sorry, we wasted your time. Math's obviously not your problem. Why do you think the teacher sent you here?"
Me: "He doesn't like me."
Counselor: "Well, you scored too high to be tested as an adolescent. We had to grade you at an adult level and you're in the top 1% of university graduates. All I can offer you is to move up a grade."
Me: "Nah, it's ok."
-------------------------------
Next class...
Teacher: "You should be doing better."
Me: "Un-hun"... asshat- I had over 90% average on my tests
At home...
Dad: "So your teacher doesn't like you?"
Me: "It took a test for you to believe me?"
Dad: "Well, I know you're not dumb."
Me: "Un-hun" | Teacher wanted to hold me back a grade. Dad agrees. Counselor administers test... afterwards, offered to be moved up a grade. No apology from anyone except the counselor. |
t3_3aib10 | tifu | TIFU by taking selfies at a funeral. | This happened a year ago. It just came up last night in a conversation, and I figured this subreddit may like my story.
So I'm traveling through the Southern part of India and landed in a coastal city called Mangalore. It's a port town with Portuguese heritage and some beautiful churches scattered around the city. I, with my sister, walk into this beautiful Roman Catholic church in this upmarket part of the city. There's a bunch of people gathered inside and some kids singing some hymns I figured. It doesn't particularly feel like we were interrupting anything but everyone is seated so we go ahead and take a seat.
At this point, I should mention that my sister has begun telling me she is having a bad feeling about this. But I continue to admire the beautiful work on the walls. Click some photographs on my brand new, big as fuck DSLR. People have begun to stare. I then proceed to stand between the benches and nudge my sister to pose for some quick selfies on my phone with the Cross in the background. The old woman beside me is VERY cross. So, I get up and walk towards the front.
And lo and behold! I see a decorated coffin with a dead body inside it. A young man lay inside and only then I begin to notice a lot of sobbing people around. The pastor looks at some guy who has already begun to walk towards me. I quickly retreated my steps and walked the hell away with my ROFLing sister tagging behind me. | Walked into a Church. Didn't know a funeral service was going on. Took selfies. Was kinda thrown out. |
t3_zrqnw | relationships | [20/m] in a long distance relationship with [20/f], feeling that I'm losing her | We've been friends for about 6 years but just only recently got together 4 months ago. A month ago we both left for college (I'm on the west coast while she's on the east coast). Things were working pretty well during the summer and at the beginning of the school year.
She had a hard time for a week or so because of all the school work that got dumped on her. She would call me and I would console her and make her feel better. A couple weeks later the roles were switched and I just had a terrible week and called her for help. To me it just seemed like she didn't really care about how I felt or maybe she was just too busy with her own issues. We use to text frequently and call each other every night to see how the other was doing, but now I just find myself looking at my phone and seeing no text messages and being the only one making the phone calls. Has she moved on already after four months or am I just overthinking/overreacting to this situation? | Recently got into relationship with girlfriend. Now in long distance relationship in college. She seems unresponsive now. Am I losing her? |
t3_3aji5f | relationships | I [31 M] moved in with my SO [24 F] a month ago. Need the spark back! | My girlfriend and I moved in together about a month ago. We have only been dating about 2 months now. We love each other very much. Driving to her all the time took about an hour, and she was always worried about me driving back home late at night. We both felt so deeply about our feelings towards one another, that she asked me about moving in with her. I thought about it and decided that it was what I wanted too. We have a really good connection.
Lately though, I feel that stress of life and those just moved in together issues are getting to us. I'm pretty sure there are things about me that didn't bother her before, that are bothering her now. In fact she told me so. In comparison to other people we moved in together very soon. But I am committed to this and to getting that amazing feeling back for her that we had before. I'm looking for any ideas, especially from any ladies out there. Please serious suggestions only. Thank you guys. | Gf and I moved in together after a month. Things were great at first, but now rocky. Need to bring back the spark and passion. I need to fix things between us. |
t3_48jtac | pettyrevenge | You're the one that I want! | (On mobile, please be nice 😬)
I'll try to make this short. I'm a single mother of 2 boys and have to be at work by 4am (sucks, I know). A few days out of the week I'll stay at my moms house so that I don't have to wake the boys up so early. She lives about 20 minutes away.
I'm trying to get everything ready to stay the night; boys school clothes, their lunch, my lunch etc. at the same time helping my older boy with his homework. Mixed fractions and improper fractions, I can do that In my sleep but this kid needs me to walk him through it... Over and over and over .... Don't get me wrong, I don't mind at all... I keep my screams on the inside... He finishes up after a good half hour, so I tell him to put his homework away. "Ok mom"
We're getting ready to leave so I make sure the boys have everything. Backpacks, clothes, everything. I asked my kids to double check, "yea mom, we have everything."
We're driving to my moms house, less than 10 minutes til we get there and my older boy tells me he forgot to put his homework away, it stayed on the table. Damn, so there I go making a u-turn. I'm so upset I turn the radio off. He can tell I'm upset so he doesn't say a word.
So for my revenge. I normally let him listen to a local hip hop station but this time I was mad. I played, "You're the one that I want" by John Travolta and Olivia Newton on repeat the whole way back. It felt so good to see him shaking his head with his hand on his forehead. Every deep sigh was satisfying. Feel bad for my younger kiddo tho. He got caught in the crossfire. | my spawn didn't put his homework away, made me waste time and gas, I made him listen to dreamy Travolta for a good 20 minutes. |
t3_248zaq | relationships | Me [28 M] dating [23 F] for about 3 months...how often do most people actually talk to their SO's? | I know I know I know, everything depends on the people in the relationship. However, I just want to make sure I am not being paranoid or over-thinking.
A few months ago I got out of a very bad relationship where I was micro-managed to say the least. Constant communication and checking-in. I am now dating a girl who is much more independent in terms of communication. I sometimes may not hear from her at all for an entire day. For example, she was exhausted last night so I sent a message this morning just saying I hope she got a good night of sleep.
I don't want to be over-bearing, so usually I will just send one or two messages to say hi. No questions or anything requiring a response. And sometimes I will hear nothing back, sometimes I will.
I know communication is key and I should just ask; however, she has expressed before that she tends to be more like a guy in a relationship regarding expressing emotions and such. We also have had small issues because I (completely jokingly) say over-the-top cheesy shit because I find myself and excessive (metaphorical) cheese to be hilarious. Real cheese is delicious. So, for those reasons, I am hesitant to be like "Is everything okay with "us"? blah blah blah. Between her own dating history and issues with her family, she is very averse to talks of that nature.
Physically, we have not been able to see each other much over the previous two weeks. We took a quick trip to the beach to relax which she said she really enjoyed. After that, we have both been very busy with work and I live about an hour from her. I saw her last night, she asked if I minded if she slept alone that night because (as aforementioned) she was exhausted. Very little physical interactions aside from a kiss goodnight. This is not uncommon, though, but she did seem a little more stand-off'ish than usual. Again, I have no idea if I am just being paranoid.
So, am I over-thinking and should I just calm down or is there room for concern? | don't talk much/haven't been able to see each other much/weird that we don't talk often? |
t3_43sspa | relationships | I ruined our night | So I always liked my boyfriend's hair long. It really compliments his face, and he's so fucking adorable when his hair falls into the right place. Well he just got his hair cut today and I really don't like it. When he asked my opinion I told him how I felt. And since this isn't the first time he's shaved his head, I decided to be a bit more honest (*cough cough* harsh) and told him I'm not as attracted to him when his hair is shorter.
I know it was harsh and I should've thought of a better way to say it. My relationship isn't based entirely off looks, it's more-so based on personality of course. We've been dating for almost 2.5 years now, this is the 3rd time he's gotten a big hair cut that I disliked and I'm kinda annoyed to be totally honest. It seems like as soon as his hair is the length I love, the length he's adorable with, I get a week before he cuts it all off. And I KNOW. I know I know I know. It's his head, his hair, he gets to decide what happens. But that doesn't mean I have to like his haircut...
So I kinda ruined our night. We were gonna cuddle, watch a movie, have sex, but since I rejected him for sex (not in the mood.... That haircut really threw me off) he's pissed, his self esteem has taken a hit, I was way over the top rude to him and I ruined our plans (nights like these are rare).
Advice? I'm a girl, about to be 21, he's a guy (obviously) and is 24, we've been going out for 2.5 years now. | I was incredibly rude to my boyfriend because he got a haircut I dislike. The plans we had tonight are ruined, he's annoyed and so am I. |
t3_1kgqo5 | offmychest | I kinda dislike my SO's friend. | This probably will go from a well thought out idea to raving and ranting really fast, so allow me to give the deets.
Background Information:
My SO and I have been together for about 4 and half years, and we are holding steady. At least in my perspective. We fight and we make up. Typical and routine progression. She is currently in the final year of her masters in social work. Her time is spent in that also maintaining her newly acquired social life. I still feel unease when she goes out and doesn't get back till 3 AM, but I guess it is normal provided I don't go on a jealous rampage. I'm dealing. That is not what has been bothering me, it is actually a friend she made in the process.
Ranting (I guess):
My SO's friend whom is older , is a bit of an asshole. They are both strong headed feminists (I am also). But there is something I can't stand about her. She comes off absolutely fake towards me, when we hang out. She is also full of shit. I mean she comes off as a bonafide man hater, but yet she has been playing the field. She insults me because I'm a man and I have iguana brains. She acts like a fucking bro, which is cool, but can get obnoxious. My absolute favorite is that she makes assumptions about me. She recently started dating this guy, or whatever, she doesn't think I should meet him because I don't do well with other guys. This was based during a night at the bar , in which, my SO and her were outside smoking and I was at the bar getting pissed at these asshats for insulting my SO and her. So drunkingly I got mouthy. I would never make my SO choose between me and her friend...ever...she can have us both, she deserves that. However, it is getting to a point where I don't think I can be in the same room with her friend. | My SO's friend annoys the high ho hell outta of me with her insinuations and assumptions about me. I really needed to vent this. |
t3_sxfdc | AskReddit | My sister-in-law accidentally bought over $450 worth of beef jerky while on vacation last weekend. What horrible and embarrassing cases of buyers' remorse do you have? | So my brother and his wife were out of town for a weekend and they wanted to get gifts and souvenirs. They ended up going to a famous shopping center and browsing there. My brother decided to wander around while his wife was pestered into a jerky store. The prices were not listed and the reps were giving her and their 3 year old daughter free samples while she chose some jerky to bring back. When the register rang up, she awe the price but was too nice to raise a fit. My brother came back and his jaw dropped to the floor, all while the owner insisted to carry the huge 2x1.5x1.5 ft box which they were sure he only wanted to gloat about his huge sale. Now they are back and have tons of jerky and no other souvenirs. | sis-in-law wanted beef jerky, ended up with huge box of jerky because she was too nice to say no |
t3_2brcby | offmychest | I can't stop thinking about a girl I have only recently just met. | I'm a 17 year old guy, I have never had a girlfriend, I have never kissed a girl (I know that is a lot more common than I probably think it is but still makes me feel kind of lame). I can talk to people pretty well I'd say, I make friends very easily and I think I'm a decent human being but nothing has ever worked out for me. In the last few weeks I started a new job at a indoor mini-golf course, I was hired with 5 other girls and I am the only male who works there. Like I said before, I made friends with everyone there pretty fast, they are all great people but I mostly have been gravitating towards one girl who is just one of the sweetest people I have ever met (in my short years of living). I relate to her so much, she like movies, science and just everything that makes me. I have been getting lunch/dinner with her, pretty much every time we get off our shift. Like today we got out at 1 or so and we decided to go to Chipotle, which dear god my butt hole is regretting, but we ended up being in this Chipotle for 2 hours just talking. After that we went and got ice cream and just sat and talked for another good hour. Ever since I got home, I have been texting her on and off but I just want to keep talking to her. The last few days I just can't stop thinking about her and it's driving me insane. I'll go to bed earlier just so I can wake up and go to work to see her. I can't concentrate on projects or anything and the time in between seeing her just seems to take an eternity and I can't handle it anymore. I'm to big of wimp to make a move and I don't want to come off as creepy. I just have never been in a situation like this. Anyways thanks for letting me just type that out and get it out of my system. | I can't stop thinking about a girl I've known for 3 weeks and I'm too much of a wimp to make the first move. |
t3_d7jpo | AskReddit | Facing a tough college decision. | Alright, so here's the situation. I'm an incoming 2nd year student in undergrad, and am looking at transferring. Where I'm at now is way more expensive than where I would be transferring to, and the college I am currently enrolled in I would consider to be more prestigious. I have a lot of friends there and it would really suck leaving them, and I would be leaving a great college campus to live at home again. Here's the upside though. I could finish my undergrad a year early, save thousands and avoid debt, and get a higher GPA. While I feel like both colleges will get me where I want to go, the transfer school has a major as well as the classes that directly feed into the grad schools with the program I'm interested in. Advice? | Debating a transfer to a college where I could graduate early and save money but would have to leave friends and a really prestigious college. |
t3_2c2sih | relationships | Me [20F] with my "FWB" [20M]. I have cold feet. Really cold feet. | Reddit, I need some advice. Words of wisdom. Anything, really.
I met a guy (lets call him Eric) around a year and a half ago. We became best friends, saw each other practically every day. He has always been a great friend to me, has always been there for me. I honestly have never had a friend like him.
Eventually I developed feelings for him but would never had said anything out of fear of ruining our friendship. One night about 5 months ago, he made the first move. It turned out he had been feeling the same way too, for a long time.
Since that night, we have moved 2 hours away from each other (we will be back in the same town in September for University), but we see each other every weekend. His friends and mine both joke about us being boyfriend/girlfriend, but we have never actually discussed it. He has brought up being in a relationship a couple of times, but I have quickly changed the subject and shrugged it off. We have, however, decided that we will not hook up with other people.
I really like this boy. I could fall in love with him. Easily.
But every time I think about dating him, I become terrified. Dating anyone in general is terrifying. I was in a relationship from 17-19 that was so awful and abusive. Though ending that was the right decision, it still hurt and was very hard. Eric is my best friend and the thought of losing him, even if we had never hooked up, would have made me sick to my stomach.
Being with someone who you love both romantically and as a friend is incredible.
But I'm 20. Who marries the person they date at 20? Not very many people. The thought of the almost-enivitable breakup is enough to scare me into not wanting to pursue a relationship, despite the fact he is the one I do want to be with. | I'm 20 and think it's pretty unrealistic that I'll date the person I end up marrying at this age. Because of that fear, I am scared to commit to a great guy. How do I get over that fear? |
t3_2fqaa6 | cats | Cat potty-training help needed! | Hey gurus,
So I'm trying to potty train 2 cats: one is mine, she's <6months old, and is taking marvellously to it. The other is a cat I'm long-term cat sitting for a friend of mine, he's 2.5 years old, and he's being quite difficult.
So I moved the litter box to an elevated position next to the toilet, and the toilet had the CitiKitty tray in it. Both had ample clean litter in them. Over the course of a couple weeks, I began reducing the amount of litter in the litter box while keeping the CitiKitty tray full and clean. As the tray became more appealing than the box, the kitten switched, no questions asked. The older cat, however, began using whatever small patch of litter he could find in the litter box. Last week, I finally removed all litter from the box, hoping he would just switch to the tray.
The cat prefers to use the box so much that he has been pissing/shitting in the no-litter box for the past week, with a clean source of litter in the toilet next to him. I have tried getting him comfortable with the toilet by offering him treats (he's very food motivated) and praise when he jumps up on the toilet. But that doesn't seem to be helping.
Right now I'm going to reintroduce a very small amount of litter to the box and see if that helps...but I don't want my kitten to relapse.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! | My cat is more interested in using his litter-less litter box than the CitiKitty tray full of litter. WTF?? |
t3_uu8te | AskReddit | How can we help my mom? I'm out of ideas reddit looking at you. | Alright Reddit-land wanted to share a story and see what you think. Right off the bat I'm going to apologize for any misspelled words. (on mobile).
I was living in L.A. doing it all, worked on a few movies, tv shows having fun living life. I get a call from my mom (not in L.A.) says they are coming down going to be on a 'fun' episode of the DR. Phil show, I attend in the audience. She is really excited! They go through the show (which was a promotional stunt for Scary Movie 4) because DR. Phil was in the movie. David Zucker (the producer) comes out and promises my mom a walk on speaking role in Scary Movie 5. Years go by, my mom is anxiously waiting. After 4 years she starts writing certified letters and making phone calls thinking they will start filming soon, she gets no response. At all. Now I know this all seems real 'first world problems' and it is, but I believe what is right is right.
Fast forward to current day, they have started filming the movie and my mom is still trying to contact them. I have a clip of the DR. Phil show and don't know where to go from here. Any ideas reddit? I would sure love to help my mom receive what she deserves and what she's been looking forward to for so long. Shame on you David Zucker, and the production staff at DR. Phil. | on national television my mom was promised a role on a major motion picture, they have started filming and will not return letters or calls. |
t3_31tjuo | relationships | Me [19M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 4 months slowly stopped texting me | To put it out there, I am inexperienced in relationships and honestly have no freaking idea what I am doing... I feel a bit lost here and I honestly don't know if I should ask my girlfriend what is going on.
For the last three to four months of our relationship, we have been constantly texting. We both made an effort to keep the conversation going and even if its a 4-hour later reply because we are busy or doing something, we still reply to each other. We send each other morning/good night texts and let each other know when we get home after hanging out. This has been going on for four months keep in mind.
Recently (last 2-3 weeks), she has stopped replying and texting me and I obviously am confused with why she has suddenly changed her habits. Sometimes, we will have a conversation and then it will abruptly end. I assume she gets busy but she never texts back for the rest of the day. I am debating on asking her but I don't know how to approach her on the topic.
The last few weeks we haven't spent any time together because of tests and finals coming up. I asked her if she would like to hang out Thursday and she said she wouldn't know until the day of so I plan on talking to her on Thursday. | Girlfriend stopped texting me as much, am inexperienced in dating and confused as to what is going on/don't know how to approach girlfriend about the topic |
t3_1x1mgb | relationships | Me [20M] with my Coworker [21F] She likes me and I am unsure of my feelings for her. | A Woman I work with likes me and even gave me her number and we have been texting back and forth lately and the thing is that she obviously likes me but my feelings for her are unclear I want to test the waters to see if I have any attraction to her but would that be rude and/or leading her on when I am unsure? I don't want to deepen her feelings for me and then decide I don't like her and hurt her but I don't want to miss out on what could be a good relationship what should I do? Sorry if this reads bad it's late and I just got off work and am really confused. | Girl at Work likes me I'm not sure if I like Her I don't want to hurt her If I don't like her but I don't want to lead her on. |
t3_3v635h | tifu | TIFU by spitting on my bosses shoes | This just happened like 5 minutes ago. I was in the bathroom and went into a stall to hock a loogie. I flushed the toilet to mask the sound of that big ass ball of phlegm coming out of the back of my throat. As it shot out of my mouth it took some weird fucking trajectory and didn't make it in the toilet. I looked over and see it landed on the left shoe of the person in the stall to my right.
I hear a 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' and recognized the voice. I made a mad dash out of the bathroom and I just got back to work. A minute ago I saw my boss walking in, and yup, those were his shoes. | Had to spit up a ball of phlegm that was in my throat, I missed the toilet and it landed on my bosses shoe. |
t3_1d7cnq | self | She's annoying me... | I don't even really know why I'm writing this here. But whatever, at least I can get it off my chest. So, this chick I met a month ago came into my business and we chatted up a bit. She seemed like a genuinely nice girl. She told me she was leaving town for a bit but would be back in a week. I got her number before she left and we chatted a little here and there. She told me that we would hang out after she got back. I said great. She came back but I didn't want to seem needy, so I didn't text right away. Bout a week goes by and I text her, she responds, and we start talkin again.
Here it is a month later and we haven't really talked at all since tonight. I texted her tonight and she asked if she could be real with me. I said shoot. She tells me her mother has cancer, she's scared and alone but stays alone on purpose. She occupies her time with working two jobs, going to school, and trying to take care of her mom. Listen, my grandmother and mother had breast cancer. I understand. I told her this. We talked a bit more and she tells me she thinks I'm great, she thinks I'm a wonderful person, all this stuff. But she still isn't showing any interest in hanging out. I'm not looking to bone her. I just want to get to know her.
Just sucks because I've lived here where I'm at now for two years and still don't have any friends or really know anyone. I'm not really dependent, but I do miss having a friend to talk to. Whatever. I'm not upset. Just annoyed. | Got girls number. Month goes by, she likes me but won't even come get a cup of coffee with me. Ugh... |
t3_sny5w | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the one thing you miss the most from your childhood? | Growing up with 3 brothers (1 older and 2 younger) and doing literally everything with them from when I was born til when I graduated high school and went off to college, I would say I miss being with them every day the most. My whole childhood my brothers were my best friends and I never really needed friends. Of course I had friends and still do, but I've always been kind of introverted and would prefer being with family over friends any day of the week. We're all in college doing our own things now except for the youngest who is in high school. He really struggles with us being gone and hasn't really had a prominent father figure in his life due to my mom and dad divorcing and my dad starting up a new family with his trophy wife. Early on in our college careers we would come home for the summer and winter and have that together, but now as we get older we don't go home for summer anymore due to jobs/internships/classes and just have a couple weeks together for Christmas if none of us are traveling. Anyway it's late and I need to sleep...was just thinking about this and figured I'd post it, let's hear your stories!
I realize this question has probably been asked a lot, but from my search it hasn't been asked in the last few months so humor me. | I miss just being at home with my brothers and mom every day. They are my best friends and I miss the times we had together when we were young terribly |
t3_3sg1uz | Advice | I want to do something big for my incredible parents. Any ideas? | My parents are the absolute best. They are incredible people and have made innumerable sacrifices to ensure my siblings and I have the best life possible.
I know there are little things I can do on the regular to show how much I love and appreciate them-- calling them, asking if they need help, visiting them, etc. I know these are the things that matter the most and I have made a plan to improve the quality of my relationship with them.
However, I also want to make a grand gesture of some sort. I am looking for ideas of things I can do/plan to convey just how much they mean to us. If I am able to come up with something good, I'm sure I could get my siblings in on it too.
There is one caveat: I am a graduate student and don't have much money to pull off a "typical" grand gesture (swanky party, vacation, etc.). My parents are also upper-middle class, so if they really want something, they can just buy it for themselves. I want to pull off something they couldn't or wouldn't do for themselves.
Any ideas? Or any recommendations of ways I can figure out what to do?
Thanks reddit! | Parents are amazing! I want to do something to express my gratitude that will blow them away (on a grad student budget). |
t3_49wjma | relationships | My [27 F] friend [58 F] has a "make or break" exam coming up, and I'm afraid to help her study. | I'm a PhD student, as is my friend, "Maria." As you can probably guess from her age, Maria is very much a non-traditional student, coming from 30+ really successful years in the field. Maria and I entered our program at the same time 3.5 years ago but only became close about 1-1.5 years ago. I really do have so much respect for her as a researcher, practitioner, and general person, and she has tons of success to back that up (publications, university-wide awards, etc). She really is cut out for and deserving of a PhD, in my and many other people's opinions, including many of our senior faculty.
As in many programs, we have intense, "pass in two tries or get kicked out" comp exams. Lots of people in my program struggle with our comp exams and probably 40-50% have to take at least one of the three portions twice, myself included, but most people get through them by the second try. Maria did not and was summarily kicked out of the program. Many people thought it was at least somewhat unfair (again, self included), but it was technically a done deal.
Much to her credit, Maria bounced back very well, transferred to another program in a different department and has done quite well... except for when it comes to comps. She took her new program's comps early this year and again failed to pass. She was understandably devastated.
She is retaking the new program's comps again soon and has asked for my help in preparing for the research design section, as I'm generally really good/practiced at research design. Tbh, I'm kind of afraid to help her because I don't know how good of a tutor I'll be, especially in a short time frame and because I don't know exactly what her new program is looking for in their design comps. I'm worried that if I help her and she fails (...it makes me sad just typing that!), she'll blame me, I'll blame me, or both, and I'll feel absolutely awful. | My friend asked me to help her study for a major "make or break" exam. I want to help her, but I'm worried about feeling responsible if she doesn't pass. |
t3_zyjmp | AskReddit | What should i do? | My father was drinking tonight. He is practically a schizophrenic drunk. He and my mother have been having problems, many of them are because of his drinking. THis is rely hard for me to write right now because he is actually being well unpredictable right now. I need help/advice on what to do right now, and later i need advice on later. So ill try to give you some info on whats going on. i got home from work and my father wasn't home. My mother thought he was with me. which is pretty stupid. I checked the house then went down to the bar. i found him walking home from the bar but he didn't want a ride. He got home and started fighting with my mother, nothing overly aggressive. My mother had said the next time he drinks she is calling his sister to pick him up so he can stay with her. this was the start of the whole fight. So basically my father was simply drunk walked in and my mom called his sister starting an argument causing him to walk out of the house and down the street. Why does my father walk every where? it isn't because he had been drinking but he has a horrible vision impairment which practically blinds him, worse it causes him intense pain 24/7. His drinking has picked up sense his eye problem started. So my dad is walking down the street and I chased after him. I will elaborate later. After walking with him for two hours through the ghetto at 12am on a saturday, I got him back home. he is pissed at me now too. I have way more to elaborate and i don't exactly know what to ask for help. He literally wants to run away should I stop him?
There is so much more to the story and more ways i need help with it but seeing as how i am in this event right now this is the best i can do. | my handy cap father is having a mental break down right now. he wants to run away. Should i let him? |
t3_237bpe | relationships | Husband resents me for making him choose between me and a former fling. (X-post from relationship-advice) | I'll try keep this short. Husband and I [both 31] met about 10 years ago. He had a friend he was a FWB with before we started going out. I didn't have a problem with this at all! The problem I had is that she was obvious about her dislike for me. She'd talk badly about me to her friends (sometimes within earshot of me) and to people who were friends with me. I don't know if she realized I was friends with them as well or if she was trying to win them to her side.
I can't deny that I gave him an ultimatum. I don't feel I was malicious or manipulative, but I'm very biased. I told him that I could be in his life or she could. One way or the other. He chose me and we've been together ever since. We married 5 years ago.
Ten years and two kids later, he's been bringing her up again. Comments were made over the years about wishing he handled it differently, but it has been different over the last couple weeks.
I don't remember the context of the conversation this came up in (maybe we heard an old song she liked), he mentioned that he didn't understand what the big deal was. Why I made "such a fuss." Then, two days ago, I mentioned wanting to not hang out with someone because I didn't like their behavior in a certain situation and he brought her up again. "I stopped talk to [her] because YOU told me to." For the record, I wasn't asking him to not speak to this other friend, I was just saying that I may stay home the next time they hang out.
I don't know where to go from here. I'm hurt and don't know how to make it better. Putting it all out like this, I know I sound really controlling, but I want help and advice. Give it to me straight. | asked husband to go no contact with a former FWB who didn't like me. He did as I asked but is still bitter about it after 10 years. |
t3_31a6yi | relationships | I [15M] realized what my issue with friends came from. | So only one of my friends ever just texts me and says 'hi' as if they want to chat with me for a bit. I always wondered why, my friends all say I am hilarious and they invite me places occasionally. All of the girl contacts in my phone asked ME for my number. That all left me really confused as to my relationship with all my friends.
Anyway, I was chatting with my closest friend (which of course I had to initiate), and he mentioned I should talk more. Being the kind of guy who is by now open to advice, I heard him out.
Basically I ended up realizing that my issues with friends all comes from the fact that I don't ever go up to random people and start chatting with them. I have never looked at somebody and decided to be their friend. all of my friends I have, I gained by being in a group and being forced to socialize.
I want to get out of this habit of not going and meeting people, and there is a girl I would like to meet, but I don't know how to just get out of it. I don't know how to make myself start being social. | All of my friendships would be better if I taught myself to walk up to people and chat with them. Help me start? |
t3_2hfx24 | dating_advice | What exactly am I doing wrong here? | So a little background information: 23M, single, decent job and medium tone build so skinny but not overly muscular. Anyways, I went on this date last night with someone who've I went out with before but it didn't work out. She texts me out of the blue and I figure you know what maybe I'll ask her out. As soon as I saw her i knew it wasn't a date, limited makeup, hoodie and jeans. I was wearing a button up and nice pair of jeans. Oh well I say. We go out to eat and watch a movie. We're talking a lot the whole time, joking around and laughing. During the movie I'm not sensing the chemistry or body language and I guess I should have trusted my gut but I decided to be brave for the sake of bravery and try to put my arm around her. I get shot down, I take her home ending the night politely not mentioning a thing. This always happens. I can get a girls number, talk to her and even eventually get a date but then nothing else. I'm wondering if I should just move super slow or maybe I'm not attractive enough or what? I mean it has to be me because I'm a factor in each situation correct? I can keep going but I'm just asking what I am doing wrong here? It feels like nobody like me :( | Can't get any further than hangout/date, feeling unattractive(personality and looks), what am I doing wrong? |
t3_17dp2q | relationships | Can I (29F) trust my boyfriend (37M) of three years after finding a stash of other girls' dirty panties in his closet? | My boyfriend (37M) and I (29F) have been together for three years. About six months after we started dating, I moved into his house. Overall, things have been wonderful and we are very happy together.
A few months ago, I was doing his laundry and found a bag of sexy, dirty panties hidden in his closet... None of which belonged to me. When I confronted him about it, he apologized and told me they had been there since long before we got together and he simply forgot they were there.
He had never given me a reason not to trust him until this point but the problem is that I had seen a pair of those panties before... Outside of the bag. The first time I ever did his laundry, I noticed them mixed in with his clothes.
I had just moved in and was not naive enough to think I was the only girl he slept with in this house, so I didn't think anything of it at the time. I threw them in his 'random' pile and forgot about them until I noticed them in the bag.
He didn't have an explanation for that one. He doesn't remember ever touching that bag since we've been together and swears he hasn't 'used' them in many years. But it's obvious that at some point since I've lived with him, he noticed they were there and made a conscious effort to hide them from me.
I could really use a some male insight on this one. Is this something normal that men do? Did he really just forget they were there or had he been taking them out and sniffing them every time I left the house? Could it be an indication that he has unresolved feelings for an ex? He says he stole them... But it wasn't clear if they were stolen from girls he was actually involved with or if he just used to be a creepy panty thief! I just don't know what to think of him anymore. | I found a stash of other girls' panties in my long-term boyfriend's closet. He says he forgot about them but I know he has noticed them since we've been living together. Can I trust his explanation? |
t3_27n4co | relationships | My [16M] girlfriend [16F] of 1 month went to a festival we were planning on going to together without me, and didn't say anything about it. How do I best handle the situation? | My girlfriend and I have been planning on attending a pride festival today for a few days, and even went so far as shopping for rainbow-colored accessories to wear to it. This morning, she wasn't answering my calls, so I figured she was sleeping in (she worked late last night.) I even turned down an afternoon of rock-climbing with my family (a fond activity of mine) under the premise that I was to spend the day at the festival.
Half an hour ago, I go on facebook to see her posting pictures of herself at the festival. I texted her about it, and she finally responded and told me her sister dragged her to the festival because her sister needed her.
I'm honestly a tad bit upset about her actions, particularly with the fact that she didn't even try to communicate that she had gone without me. It doesn't really help that everyone has left and I'm sitting here all alone now, either. I'd still like to do something with her today, and I told her this, but she replied that her mother may or may not allow her to.
I understand that at our young age, while I enjoy a great amount of liberty, her life may be more dictated by the elders of her family than mine. My main concern is the lack of communication on her part. I've kept my texts to her in a patient and forgiving tone, but I'm really unsure how to best handle the situation. | Girlfriend went to a festival we were supposed to go to together without me and didn't tell me about it. How can I best handle the situation so no one comes out with their toes stomped on? |
t3_3vw6ge | relationships | Me [19 M] with my SO [19 F] of two years, I think I might be sort of a sex addict. | "Jane" and I have been together for two years. She's the only girl I've ever been with, and while it may not seem like it based on what I'm about to say, I truly love her more than anything in the world.
Over the past sixteen months, Jane and I have had a long-distance relationship. I was initially against continuing our relationship once we separated, but Jane convinced me otherwise, and I'm happy we've kept things going this long.
Long-distance has not been easy on either of us. Jane has struggled with depression, but we've recently gotten her on Zoloft so we're hoping to make things better. For me, long-distance has led to an entirely different trouble.
Like the title says, I think I might be sort of a sex addict. I've only ever had sex with Jane, but I masturbate to amateur porn multiple times a day and regularly fantasize about having sex with other women. It feels compulsive, and while I know I shouldn't blame my character flaws on psychosis I truly believe I might have something wrong with me beyond extreme horniness. I only have these problems when Jane and I are apart--when we're together, everything is perfect.
Today I came clean to Jane about my problem. She's understandably upset and confused, especially because of how long I kept this from her, but doesn't want to break up with me.
I love Jane with all of my heart. We're young and naïve, sure, but we've still talked about marriage and while we've agreed to hold off until we can fully support a family we definitely haven't ruled out the possibility of a life together.
I realize that I'm the bad guy here, and that Jane should break up with me as soon as she can. We've already started looking into psychiatric options, but I'm hoping for any other advice, especially on ways that I might be able to earn back Jane's trust. | I came clean to my long-distance girlfriend about my possible sex addiction. How do I get her to trust me again? |
t3_21dvrq | relationships | I [21/F] can't seem to make friends that want to hang out with me later. | I've realized right after my 21st birthday that I have nobody that wants to hang out with me when spent that weekend alone.
I'll make friends in my classes and we'll talk about our lives and stuff and just be comfortable towards each other. But I just can't seem to make plans. Even when I hit it off with customers at work and coworkers, even getting to the point of exchanging numbers, I can't get to that point of actually hanging out.
I find myself walking down the street and thinking, if anyone talked to me, I would be their friend. If that group of people invited me to sit down with them, I would. When I'm out alone eating, I keep thinking, if that friendly looking stranger sitting alone sat down with me, I wouldn't even mind.
I really want someone to go shopping with, or go listen to live music, or even hang out at my house and drink tea. It's been a couple months now since my birthday and I really want someone who will go with me to my first legal drink at a bar since I don't feel comfortable going alone as a woman. And the friends I ask don't want to or don't have time to. I just really want friends to do stuff with rather than casual acquaintances when convenient.
I've tried meetup.com too. The city I live in has very little activity going on that I'd even be interested in or be able to attend. There are tons of 40-50 year old events for some reason. Like for listening to live music is called 40-50 year old classical music group. For arts and crafts its like Men's knitting or spiritual bongo drums. Thats about it for those categories. | I want people to hang out with, to go do something and have fun, but I can't seem to get people I meet to join me. |
t3_1mmqod | relationships | [Update] My [24f] new boyfriend [26m] lost interest in ONE DAY and broke everything off. Help me process this mentally and decide what to do next. | original post here:
A lot of you responded with good advice so I thought I'd let you know what's been going on.
He called me that weekend and asked if he could buy me a drink the following monday to talk about things and give me my stuff i left at his apartment. Monday I saw him and he told me how sorry he was, how he made a mistake and he had been thinking about me all week, and that he wanted to continue our relationship if I still wanted. I made him explain himself to me for about an hour before I told him I would try to forgive him... Apparently he'd come to the same conclusion about the situation. He's never had a real girlfriend so he was confused.
He also said that as soon as he told his family what happened, they gave him a "talking to" about his dating habits. Specifically, his sister spent a long time talking to him about having lasting relationships instead of just chasing girls.
I'm still really wary of the situation and I'm taking things a lot slower than I was before, but I did take him back. Most of the comments were about how this was probably going to be a pattern with him, and I know thats a strong possibility. I'm still being cautious with my feelings, but for now I'm giving him a chance. He really is a sweet, caring, loving person and I think its worth it to give him one more chance.
Thanks again reddit! I'll update if anything else happens. | BF came to the same conclusions I did about his behavior. Sister talked to him on her own about the situation. Proceeding with caution. |
t3_1ksyvz | relationship_advice | GF[25/F] was at a wedding, guy kissed her. Is my [25/m]reaction normal? | So last night I was out to dinner with my girlfriend and we were having a great time. It was a lot of fun. Eventually she asks me if she can tell me something and not get mad. I took a breath and said "sure, go ahead". She tells me that about a week ago when she was at a wedding a guy drunkenly kissed her. I don't remember if she said she pushed him away or what, mostly I was kinda processing what she said. He said "oh I thought you were single" which she said no. I stayed quiet for a second to fully let whatever sink in and I asked "did anything else happen?" She said no, and I think I truly believe her. I said that I'm not angry at her and in a weird way I felt better because she set the record straight with the guy. I felt like her doing that means I can trust her. I asked her if she felt better and she said not really. Which I didn't get. She did say that her ex would have told her "well maybe if you didn't dress like a slut this wouldn't happen". Which I don't think is the case. I know she's outgoing and friendly, not really flirty so say but it isn't difficult for her to meet friends. And I know when alcohol at a wedding is involved things happen. So I'm brushing this off, but that stupid little anxiety ridden voice in my head is saying otherwise. It's almost always wrong by the way. So I have to ask, is my reaction of brushing this off, good? Or am I being naive? | GF gets kissed at wedding, tells me, I say its ok. But the anxious voice in my head says I'm being naive. I think its wrong, so how do I shut it up? |
t3_2lo3bj | tifu | TIFU by pulling out a cable | I was sitting here, in front of my computer, contemplating all over Ideas for a Game I want to make. There were some reference photos on a DVD, but my computer had no internal drive for that anymore.
Luckily, I have this adapter which works like a charm. Plugged the power cable into a power outlet that was on a little shelf over my desk. I do have to say, that I have my speakers and a fluorescent tube (Behold the 6500K <3) on there as well.
The other day, I had christmas stollen (bit soon, I know, but they are delicious) and because my cat is a sneaky fucker for all sugary stuff, I happen to put it up on a speaker satelitte and just forgot about it.
***Until now***. When I plugged the cable in, I heard some electrical fluctuations through my speakers, which worried me.
So, I proceed to pull on the cable to get it out. Damn cable is all neatly tucked in the power outlet, so I have to use a bit of force. Too much *force*. Hand came flying along with it, hit the fluorescent tube, which I ***LUCKILY*** catched with my other hand before it could do any damage.
But... the stollen flew down. And if you know stollen, they have a LOT of powdered sugar on them. Well. Needless to say, ***myself, my keyboard, part of my chair and the carpet was covered in powdered sugar.***
(Might not be the worst fuckup, but it still annoyed me, for being such a lazy dude. :p) | Plugged in cable, electrical fluctuations, pulled out cable too hard, fluorescent tube on my shelf came flying down, catched it, christmas stollen flew down too, Me & my desk/floor was covered in powdered sugar |
t3_1gji3r | relationships | My girlfriend [33F] is insecure about me [25M] going out or being in a picture with a close female friend. | We've been together about 10 months now and live seperately. Lately she's been having issues about me being out at night with my friends. My friends consists of guys and girls and we're typically out at the bar or hanging out at the beach (summertime). She thinks that I tend to forget about her when I'm out and about with friends but when I'm home she's fine.
Another issue that's been bugging her is my friend ..lets call her Jane. She's a close friend of mine and I'm pretty much good friends with her sisters and brothers as well. My gf's been pissed off seeing her and I in the same picture, even when it's in a group picture. Jane and I have mutual friends in our circle so it's not like I can just avoid her.
I've told my gf over and over again that there's nothing going on between us and that she's just being very unsecure / jealous about the situation. She's on the verge of breaking up with me and I'm not sure how I can fix this. I love her and want to stay with her but she gets jealous over the smallestes things that I would see as casual/normal. My gf is fully aware of her insecurities but these jealous feelings always come up with her. I'm out of ideas of how we can work this out.
I should also mention that she's had previous boyfriends that have cheated on her. I can understand where the problem stems from but I'm not sure what I can do to gain her trust. | My girlfriend is jealous of me going out and hangingout with a close friend. How can I reassure her that she can trust me? |
t3_2n4uru | relationships | I [30M] can't control my anger. This week my domestic partner [30F] left me after I did something terrible | I've had anger problems for a while. I can't control myself and have treated my domestic partner like shit for a long time. We've been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old child together. This week, I got into an argument with my partner and splashed water on my baby's face. I regretted it instantly. She told me she was leaving. I continued the argument, and told her how much I didn't like her and didn't care if she left.
She has taken my baby and left me. I don't blame her. I am glad she is strong enough to leave a bad guy like me, but I have a good heart and I want to see them again. I have been researching "cognitive behavioral therapy" the last couple days because I am very negative about everything. I think the cause of my anger problem is seeing everything in a negative way, PTSD, impulsiveness, ADD, and possibly depression.
I will seek professional help this Monday, and hope to get professional counseling and medication. I want to change my behavior and mood and get help, and want my partner and baby back in my life. We both love each other, but now she is ignoring my texts and phone calls. I've hurt her badly and I don't blame her for ignoring me.
I made this post because I am seeking advice from anyone now. I've definitely learned my lesson the hard way, and I realize I need to be a better person if they are to be in my life again. | I am a bad guy but I will do anything to change my behavior for my family that has left me. Does anyone here have advice? |
t3_jt8wl | AskReddit | Yesterday I was fired from my job of 15 years | Reddit......I need advice/counseling. Yesterday I was fired from my job of 15 years. I loved my job, the people I worked with, and the benefits/pay that came with it. I don't blame the company for the firing and I accept that it was my fault. I ran into some unfortunate absentee / tardiness problems (6 tardies in a year...termination); combine this with a new manager trying to "make a name for himself" and not understanding my value to the company. My attitude was always good and I cordial with everyone no matter what their position.
I allowed myself a day to deal with the firing, but it is now time for me to find new employment. My basic problem is I have not had to look for a job in 15 years, don't have a resume, and don't know where to begin. My job title was "Warehouse person", but I did so much more than that above and beyond my pay: I built databases / programs they use company-wide to this day, acted as "tech support / IT" for lower level problems, integrated new technologies, crunched numbers, adjusted /counted inventory ($18 million dollars), planned a new warehouse (including rack layouts, material requirements,labeling,a custom material slotting program),and moved an entire warehouse from one location to another in one week with no disruption of ordering (not by myself mind you, but I was a component in the process). I did all this while making the same salary as a person picking / shipping materials.
My question is: How do I put this into a resume to show my worth to a future employer without looking like "Joe forklift-driver". Should I hire a service? Any recommendations? Also as a side note, I only have a high school diploma with some college but no degree; most of my skills are a self-taught or were learned as I went along. | How do I fit 15 years of working outside of my job description onto a resume !?!?! Or should I just get a McJob?e |
t3_fx6az | AskReddit | What's your best/worst drunk experience? | I'll start. I'm a college kid that has never been to a party. I meet up for some dinner with an old friend one day, he brings his friend. They invite me to a kegger. We go back to his apartment, and a few of his friends come, amongst those was a really nice girl that I kind of wanted to get to know, so I thought a good idea was to split a mickey of vodka, which got us talking together and drinking. Keep in mind I never really drank more than 3/4 shots in my lifetime which didn't do anything to me, so I thought what harm could 5/6 more do? We kept doing shot after shot, I was feeling fine until each of us downed about half the bottle. I felt great, but not 10 minutes later I was completely out of it. From here on I can't remember *anything* about that night at all, absolutely nothing. When I awoke again, I had a terrible hang over, I woke up with many cuts and bruises and a fractured rib, I didn't have any of my possessions on me (wallet, phone, keys) and the weirdest part is, I awoke in a frat house that I didn't recognize, on a street I didn't know, surrounded by people I never met with nothing on me, and in utter pain. | drank too much too fast, lost everything, woke up in a place I didn't remotely recognize with people I don't remember meeting. |
t3_ymg3p | relationships | I suspect my g/f(21f) may have 'Selective Eating Disorder' and it's getting on my nerves(26m) that she won't eat healthy at all. | Let's get the details out of the way, shall we?
Me - 26m
Her - 21f
Duration - Just past the two month mark!
As the title says, I suspect she may have '[Selective Eating Disorder] (SED). She does not eat much of anything at all, but when we do, it's almost always relegated to fast-foods and other easy meals (grilled cheese). Nothing healthy at all really. This for me is extremely frustrating and annoying, as almost every night she'll complain that there's nothing to eat, yet I continue to push her to eat some healthy snacks if she can't find anything else. No go.
This , for me, is a problem because I LOVE to eat. I have an iron stomach and can gobble up anything. I started eating a LOT healthier at the beginning of the year (did a month-long vegetarian stint to flush my system...best decision I made). The real kicker here is that she constantly complains that she's gained so much weight in the last year. She's not wrong, I've seen some pictures of her from a year or so ago...there is a BIG difference. She's by no means a fat girl, but she clearly has let herself go. On top of that, she's been diagnosed with '[Body Dsymorphic Disorder](
Basically, I want to be able to encourage her to eat healthy so that she will start losing the weight she desperately wants to get rid of. I"m not sure how to go about this. I don't want to be a prick about it either, and I'm certainly not going to break up with her over this, though I just know it's going to put a strain on an otherwise thriving relationship. | Girlfriend of two months is an extremely picky eater; nothing healthy. How can I get her to start eating better, without being a jerk about it? |
t3_26vxsy | relationships | Me [25M] Cheated on my GF at the time now wife [26F] the first week we were together. Need help! | I cheated on my GF/wife the first week we became official. We were dating/seeing each other for about 3 weeks before hand. She decided to continue the relationship and give it a chance. We got married rather quickly but a big reason was to get her papers so she could stay in the US. Everything about the relationship is amazing and she really is my best friend.
In the past she has expressed to me that she still feels very bad every time she thinks about it. She can't help but wonder if I am actually going to work or seeing someone else (I also travel a lot, so no help there). I think it has been eating her up inside for awhile.
Let me get to the reason I am asking for advice. Today my wife has broken down from feeling very insecure and hurt about what happened. She has said, "We are going to break up if you can't find a way to make me feel better about this." Not word for word but something along those lines. I told her we should go talk with someone about it, and she said, "Why do you need someone there to be able to talk about this. You need to make this right." She hung up the phone and will probably not talk with me until we both get back from work. I need any advice on how to make her feel more secure and to eventually heal from this. Anyone who has been in a similar situation, what are the things that helped you heal? What did your SO do that made you feel better about this? I feel like I am losing her and it's killing me to think that this might be it. How do you make someone understand this if they can't trust anything you say in the first place?
I know its hard to give sound advice without knowing everything but I really have no idea what to do. I feel like I have tried really hard to be as open and honest with her to bring back that trust.
I can give more information or background if needed. | Cheated on my wife early in the relationship. She has not been able to fully forgive me and it is starting to destroy the relationship and possibly end it. |
t3_2l8m77 | relationships | I [26M] trying to get over an one-sided crush on my friend[24 F]. I am debating if I should tell her how I feel before cutting contact with her. | I have a crush on my friend. I recently found out that she likes someone else and today, I saw her on a date said person. I decided I need to back away and try to get over her. I'm going to cut all contact with her and I already deleted her contact information and made new plans for the weekend.
Unfortunately, I am going to see her one last time. It can't be avoided. Here's my dilemma: a part of me wants to just tell her how I feel and why I won't be in contact with her for a while. It will lift a heavy burden off my shoulders, give me some closure and I feel I owe her an explanation as to why I won't be seeing her for awhile, especially since she is a member of my group of friends. However, I also realize that nothing can really be gained from this and it's a bit passive-aggressive.
Should I cut and run or at least try to give an explanation? If I do tell her, should I do it in person, leave a note, or have a mutual friend explain it? | Have an unrequited crush on a friend. Going to cut contact to get over her. Debating whether of tell her how I feel before I do. |
t3_luowx | needadvice | Xpost: My mother was physically abused by her brother in their dying mother's home. I feel helpless and angry... would love some advice. | But wait, there's more. This happened just down the hallway from the bed of their mother, my grandmother, who is in respiratory failure and is expected to die within the next few days.
My mother is the oldest of twelve siblings. This is the second (but most recent) time her brother has assaulted her and threatened her. They grew up in a household with a physically abusive father.
I am a 21yo female attending college four hours away from home. My mother called me this evening to tell me what happened. To the best of my knowledge, she was verbally threatened, then hit in the face and pushed to the ground by her brother. She went to the local police to report the assault, but requested that they not arrest her brother given the circumstances-- we are facing the possibility of a funeral in the next week with family members coming from out of town. She also denied a restraining order, fearing backlash from her brother after it expires.
I am traveling home to be with mother tomorrow morning, but I simply don't know what I can do to protect her from her brother in the future. She lives alone and in near poverty. My mother is traumatized (and not for the first time) and I am shaken up and furious. I believe that her brother won't dare to harm her when I'm there, but I don't want her to live in fear and I want her brother to face up to what he's done. Abusers generally get worse over time, not better.
Any and all advice comes to open ears... thanks reddit! :) This is a throwaway account... I have good friends who know my username and I would rather keep this confidential. | mother got beat up by her brother while their mother is dying. i need advice on how to help her. the next few days are crucial. |
t3_1lbw9m | Advice | Moving in with GF - Need to discuss with and convince her religious parents it's a good idea. | Been discussing moving in with my GF and her brother for about 6 months now. We have been looking for places to live and we finally found a great place that's both affordable and meets our wants/needs perfectly.
We're both in our mid-20's and she's never lived outside her parents house before so this will be her first step away from them. She's agnostic and I'm an atheist while her parents are Roman Catholics (Her father is actually a deacon). Her parents don't know of her lack of faith in their religion and it's not something we're prepared to discuss with them yet. Her parents are wonderful people and extremely supportive to their family and community and helping people where they can.
My GF discussed with them privately last night about moving in with me and they both immediately voice their concerns stating that they would prefer marriage come first before committing to a place together. They're is no conflict yet though but I'm sure when I'm over there tonight, there will be a big discussion.
How should I address with them that I feel that moving in with her is ultimately a big step for me as I don't commit to living with someone lightly and eventually becoming common law prior to marriage. I'm not pressured by their religion but marriage is not something that I'm prepared for and my GF understands this fully. She's prepared to move in if I ask her regardless of her parents but I also don't want to cause any tension between us as a result. | Parents want us to marry before moving in together, I'm not ready for marriage but want to somehow convince her parents it's the right thing to do. |
t3_2qoea8 | relationships | How to talk my GF into having a 3some without hurting her feelings. | Ok so here's the story. My gf and I(M) are both 25 and 26 and have been together for 2 1/2 years now. We are both very open-minded people and don't really have any sort of prejudices towards anything. We aren't sexual prudes by any means but I'd say our sex life is a bit vanilla compared to what all is out there.
Now recently she has told me that she definitely knows she's bisexual and that there are plenty of girls she finds attractive. Now she knows I've had a 3some in the past, but I just don't think I could straight up ask to have a 3some with another girl because she is a bit shy and not as confident as she should be so I'm afraid her reaction would be not so good. So if any girls on here who have any insight into how to bring this up that would be great.
And for some extra info I know the go to advice would be to have her ask a friend that she's comfortable experimenting with but we are currently living away from our home countries for the next year and don't have any friends as we are just traveling around. So yea any help for a brotha would be great haha. | My girlfriend admits to me that she is bisexual and now I need to know how to talk her into having a 3some with another girl |
t3_18zuya | relationship_advice | [16/f] My friend (16/m) and I have finally decided when we are going to cut off all communication, but is this really necessary? | My friend (16/m) and I (16/f) have been friends for 5 years. I fell in love with him 3 years ago. I have been open about my feelings, though he doesn't return them.
Over the years, he hasn't been very nice to me and we have fallen out. However, we always have made up. He has decided that in a little more than a year, we are going to stop being friends and cut off all contact. This is because we are hurting each other, because I love him and he doesn't love me. He says people think we are in a relationship and I am holding him back from getting a girlfriend. I understand this, I really do. I agreed to do all this, because I want him to be happy. He says that he needs to move on for me to move on. To make this worse, we are emotionally dependent on each other, which is unhealthy and makes it difficult to end our friendship. I am so scared of losing this friendship. I am autistic and he is the first person who ever understood me.
Despite knowing this is inevitable, I want to know if there is anyway we can avoid this. We have a close friendship. | My friend wants to cut all contact, because we are hurting each other, due to my love for him. Is this avoidable or do I just have to except it? |
t3_4m0hur | relationships | Me [19m] that my girlfriend [17f] of nearly a year might break up with me because she is moving to a city 20 minutes away. | My girlfriend might be going to another school 15-20 minutes from the city we currently live in and I have a feeling she will want to break up with me when the time comes. We love each other and she often says she loves me when in her sleep without even noticing, of course she also says it when she's not sleeping and we are together everyday. I often think about this and I think I'm just overthinking because I'm overthink a lot. What should I do? Talk to her now or just ride the wave and see what comes out of it? | Girlfriend might be moving to another town a few minutes from where we live now and I have a feeling that she might break up with me. |
t3_4ej3g3 | legaladvice | Should I consult a lawyer? Fired for tardiness, after disclosing disability | I'm hoping to hear from or talk to someone familiar with the Americans with Disabilities Act, I live and worked in Pennsylvania. I'm diagnosed bipolar 1. I worked for a marketing agency as a web developer, my work was always praised and always done early. After about 9 months of employment and a strong depressive episode I began to be late somewhat often, like 5-10 minutes. I was given a few "talks" and finally decided to write a letter to the CEO disclosing the disorder and how much it affects my time management as a general symptom and even more so during manic/depressive episodes. I met with the CEO and he wasn't willing to accept my reasonable accommodation idea of staying late for the amount of time I was tardy each day, but raised my salary a few dollars each month to cover health insurance, since I was unmedicated at the time (I'm also a single mom and only made enough there for rent/daycare/necessities) -- this was also around the time of my yearly review where raises are given anyway and I was told that that was considered mine. I still stayed late every time I was tardy anyway up until I was fired. I got a psychiatrist appointment in January, was prescribed lamictal. I let them know, from experience, meds don't just start instantly working, and are often not even the right med the first time, there's a lot of trial and error. Well, I wasn't magically cured in 2 months and they fired me Friday for "excessive tardiness". They actually avoided telling me the reason I was being terminated until I found their company policy outline where they claim to always confirm reasons for termination and emailed them requesting an explanation.
I'm wondering if this is worth consulting a lawyer about, the company has about 30 employees and no HR department. Being late never affected mine or anyone else's job, I literally just went in and sat at a computer alone all day for the most part. | Am bipolar, disclosed illness, fired for being late even after explaining how disorder affects time management, and requesting reasonable accommodation of staying late to make up for missed time in morning. Is it worth consulting a lawyer? |
t3_yw6cu | relationship_advice | [20/m] My girlfriend [18/f] and I are in love but barely have sex. We are going off to college soon and i don't know what to do. | My gf and I have been going out for two years, are in love and rarely have sex. I waited for her until she was ready and we just started in the beginning of the summer but we have (literally) had sex only once a month since.
Background info:
She is INCREDIBLY paranoid about getting pregnant so she's currently on the pill and will only have sex with a condom and if she took her pill the night before. So the reason why we rarely have sex is because the previous pill that she was on did not let her have periods which freaks her out and refuses to have sex unless her hormones are absolutely raging (which doesn't happen often). Her new pill fixes that problem but she still feels uncomfortable having sex because she has only recently switched pills and still has yet to have her first period in two months.
It won't be easy to visit each other because we are about 4-5 hours apart by car (or 6-7 hours apart by public transportation).
Problem:
The emotional aspect of our relationship is in very good shape but my sex life has been depressing for the entire duration of our relationship. Since we started dating she has been (and is still) incapable of pleasing me in any way and the lack of sex is not helping at all. She, however, absolutely loves the way i please her, so she is satisfied both emotionally and sexually whereas i can only say i am for one of the two.
At this point my lack of a decent sex life is really starting to hurt the emotional aspect of the relationship for me. Now we are heading off to college (Im a junior and she's a freshman) in two days and I really don't know how to handle this situation. I love her but the absence of any sign of a sex life is starting to seriously take a toll on this relationship for me. Even though I really love her, I am sick of waiting for her and the constant sexual frustration is starting to depress me. Should I continue to wait for her or break up with her? Any advice? | My gf and i both love each other but we barely have sex and it's starting to really hurt me after two years. |
t3_47059h | relationship_advice | Me [17M] Need Advice on how to make a girl smile..? | Hey, So im a 17 year old college student in Australia and well before I get into the problem I should mention that I have a history of diagnosed anxiety disorders that lead me to be scared when talking to others :(
Anyway I started College about 3-4 weeks ago and me being the kind of person I am I have trouble making friends but Ive been sitting next to this girl whilst at school and shes really kind and sweet as she was one of the few people who made small talk with me.
first I thought "wow, I really hope me and X become good friends :)" but as time went on I started to feel more.... Whenever she would talk to another guy my heart would involuntarily start beating really fast and I get this massive urge to yell at the top of my lungs, what I am getting at though is over the past few weeks Ive been longing over her..
I want to make her smile, I want her to laugh at what I say and most importantly I want to be the one who holds her when shes sad (bit sobby but I guess it cant be helped)
What do women secretly want men to say to them? How can I make myself stand out to her more? I need advice and lots of it :( | So what can I do? How do I show this girl my true feelings without completely making myself look like a freak? |
t3_2zd0c2 | relationships | Me [34 M] with my ex [29 F] 2.5 years, trying to be friends | Me ex turned to me for support a year after we broke up. It was a nasty breakup and we just resumed talking a few months ago. The things she's working on are a list of things that affected our relationship. Things that depressed people do.
She's not doing it for me, she's doing it for her. I totally get that and I am supportive. I offered to help in a significant way and then I voiced my concern about maybe feeling a bit bitter at times. Basically I thought she should have her significant other do this sort of stuff when she finds one significant enough.
That turned into a discussion about emotions and I was very honest with her. I'm about three months sober so some of my feelings about her post-breakup were never dealt with. (This isn't going to affect my sobriety and I'm not looking for help with that but it matters here. And thanks in advance, feels good.)
Basically she needs someone to hold her accountable. It's not a role that I mind, necessarily, but it does require me to talk to her. Which I enjoy. Thing is, these emotions bubble up a lot for me. I never dealt with them and I'm tell myself that the sadness/bitterness/remorse will pass. I feel kind of stupid but being a guy that could just be society telling me I should feel stupid. On the rare occasion that men expressed emotion in sitcoms when I was a kid they always cried. I've teared up a few times thinking about it.
I have a desire to see her do good. Talking to her means dealing with my emotions. I express just about everthing to her. It might even be over the top. I'm just wondering if my desire to help her is healthy. Should I express these things to her? I feel better after I do, occasionally it's really heavy but for the most part we just talk about life and things we're both interested in. Spending time together isn't on the table, neither of us want that. | Trying to be friends with ex. Dealing with and expressing unresolved emotions. I still want to be friends but I'm not sure if it's healthy. |
t3_2d3y4q | relationships | I [20 M] saw a girl working at Fabricland a few months ago[?? F], asked her out today. Don't want to screw up. | OK. So, in early June, i wanted to go to the Niagara Falls Comic-con, and i wanted to cosplay as Cloud Strife. I went to Fabricland for materials, and i saw a girl there who was... so cute. However, the extent of our communication was the occasional glance at each other, and me winking at her as i left. Now, i'm going to Fan-Expo at the end of August, Cosplaying again, as Nightwing this time, and she was there again.
As i was gathering the stuff i wanted, i asked the woman who was helping me (who also helped the last time i was there) what the girls name was. She'll remain nameless for now, but she also asked if i wanted to know anything else about here. Like, she seemed like she wanted to help in my pursuits, which was cool. Anyway, after talking to the Woman, i walked up to the counter to pay for my stuff, and i spoke to her, and i asked her out.
Basically, the conversation went like this, from what i can remember from my blurry, rose colored recollection. After we said hi, i asked if she worked here, since i remembered her from the last time. She said she did, smiling. I was fumbling over my words. We both remembered each other, and I said "It'd be hard to forget that face". She laughed. We talk for a bit, and eventually, i get quiet and kinda tense, she looks at me, almost intently, and i just ask it. "Would you maybe like to do something sometime?" was what i said, i think. She said she'd think about it, and i asked if she had a phone number. She said no. Facebook? No. You gonna be here on Tuesday or next Saturday? No. So, i settled for the Saturday after next, payed for my stuff and left. I was shaking. | Met a girl at Fabricland, totally smitten, don't have much experience in relationships or dating, don't want to screw up. Help? |
t3_2oja4z | relationships | I [21 M] had one date with a woman [20 F] I've been interested in, and my habit of over thinking is killing me. | So I am in college and met this girl a few months ago and was immediately interested. After seeing her a couple more times, not having the chance to get her number, I chatted her up on FB and got it. I had no clue if she'd be interested, but I had lunch with her and asked her out to dinner, and she obliged.
She seemed to enjoy all of our conversation at dinner, and after watching TV for a while at my apartment, we made out for a solid hour, and it was glorious. She didn't even mention leaving until the wee hours of the morning. I texted her the next day about going to a party with me, and she needed to stay in to study. I asked about going out again before leaving for Christmas break, and she said she didn't think she'd have time to.
For some reason, I am really thinking into this and am worried that she doesn't want to go back out. I guess I'm still unsure how she feels about me, and I don't date much, so I don't know what to expect. I know this sounds incredibly silly, and I'm sure she will be busy until she leaves studying for finals this whole week. I have always known myself to over analyze things, but I didn't realize it was this bad. I feel like this habit could be destructive to any healthy relationship I develop. | Went out on a date with my crush, seemed to go incredibly well, and I am over thinking everything. It is a problem. |
t3_14cerw | relationships | I'm (f31) done with my marriage, husband (m32) is not accepting. | I'll try to keep this short and sweet.
We've been together for almost 10 years. I'm 31, he is 32, no assets, no kids, lots of debt and one cat. I love him, always thought we'd stay together forever. He loves me with all his heart.
But we've grown apart. I'm not the person he married. I've matured and grown. He's the same person I married, irresponsible and more into partying then being an adult. Our life goals no longer align. He says he wants what I want, but his actions show other wise.
I'm not in love with him anymore. I would have liked to make this marriage work, but after years of trying, and his refusal to go to counseling, I'm done.
I blame him because of his actions, but ultimately it's my fault because I've stayed as long as I have. He's not accepting of me wanting things differently, yet doesn't put out effort to grow with me. I know I don't need his permission to leave, but he argues and cries to the point of holding me mentally and emotionally hostage.
How do I make him understand that this marriage is over? Is there a way not to blame him? | Husband and I no longer see eye to eye, yet husband refuses to accept that or put out effort to change. Marriage is over. |
t3_24ofjg | relationships | [M]e (21) and this girl (19) I like | Ok, so this is a girl who liked me in high school. I liked her to but we never went out because I was leaving for college that summer and it would've been a long distance relationship and I didn't want that to be my first relationship experience.
Fast forward to seeing her where she works about 3 years later. She is very nice to me (hugs me) and tells me to message her sometime on Facebook. We do and find out we're going to the same concert in a couple of weeks from then.
Today was the first day of the concert. We hung out all day (we being me, her, my friends, and her friend that went) and had a great time. When we left, we texted back and forth a bit. Here's the thing said that bugged me:
"By the way, your friend is fucking cute as fuck"
Needless to say I'm pretty saddened by that. But it gets worse (maybe).
Here's the rest of our conversation:
Me: "Yeah, but I'm cuter :p"
Her: "Bahahaha XD" "I'm cutest ^.^"
Me: "That is true lol"
Her: "Haha, you're crazy. I'm going to bed "
Me: "Haha, goodnight"
Her: " Tell your friend I said goodnight ;) hahahahaha"
Me: "I will"
My friend actually feels bad about this and agreed to help me out. Can anyone help interpret what just happened and maybe provide some advice on how to proceed since tomorrow is day 2 of this concert? | Started talking to an old friend and things seem promising until she meets my best friend who is "fucking cute as fuck" causing me to be a little jealous. Rope best friend into helping me out c |
t3_3yh6di | relationships | My [64M] daughter [30F] plans to adopt. I do not support this. | My daughter Stephanie is 30 and got married to Daniel two years ago. I like Daniel, he's pretty cool for the most part. He's the son I never had because Stephanie is an only child. Up until this debacle, Stephanie and I were pretty close. Her mom died when Stephanie was in her teens and I never remarried. That's just a bit of background info I guess.
My main problem is that Stephanie and Daniel don't want biological kids. They plan to adopt and have announced to the family that they plan to consult with an adoption agency early next year. Moreover, they want to adopt an older child. No babies. Stephanie said that ideally she'd love to adopt a 5 year old.
I hate this idea. Maybe this makes me an asshole, but I want real grandchildren. I want a grandchild that has my nose or my chin. And I want to be able to hold my grandchild as a baby! The idea of an adopted 5 year old just makes me, disappointed I suppose.
I told Stephanie and Daniel that they will regret this decision and that nothing can compare to holding your own *bio* baby in your arms. I told her that she should get pregnant now while she's young and the risks of the baby being disabled are much lower. One of her reasons for adopting is that she thinks "pregnancy sucks." I told her it can't be that bad, women have been doing it for thousands of years, her mother had a very easy pregnancy (at least that's what she told me) and ultimately she's going to want her own baby rather than someone else's. Maybe that was a poor choice of words but I see it as the truth.
She flew off the handle and started yelling at me that her reproductive choices were her own (something like that) and if I couldn't be supportive of her adopting, I'm not welcome around her and Daniel anymore. This was about a week ago and we have not spoken since.
So am I just supposed to sit quietly and not say anything while I watch my daughter do something she'll totally regret?? What should I do? I want to be in her life obviously but I wish she would just listen to me. She's not making a good decision. | Daughter and son in law want to adopt an older (5 and up) child instead of having a baby naturally. I don't support this and now she won't talk to me. |
t3_fhc1d | relationships | Working up the nerve... | 25/m and 24/f. Just under 3 yrs. together. We've lived together for about a year and half.
My SO is becoming increasingly active in the local theater community. It's what she went to college for so it's obviously something she cares a great deal about and wants to do as a career. The problem is this increase in rehearsals, events, and meetings has her free time completely tied up leaving me sitting at home alone most nights waiting for her just so I can see her for a short while before bed. The preparation and show time for one of her shows is usually around 2 months and during this time I feel lonely and depressed. Then when the show ends her schedule clears up and I think "Oh, well. Glad that's over! Now I can have my girlfriend back." A few weeks will pass and then she's onto the next project and I'm back to feeling miserable.
Since this is something she plans on doing for a career I know this isn't going to stop. I still care for her but I'm not happy being in this relationship. I've caught myself checking out other girls and wondering what it'd be like to date someone else. I've started browsing Okcupid. It makes me feel like a dirt bag, adding guilt to the whole situation. I'm not angry at her or jealous of the time she spends with her craft. I'm happy that she's doing what she wants to do in life. I think it's because we still get along so well that I'm having such a hard time breaking things off. How do you intentionally hurt someone you care about but are unhappy dating? | My SO has no free time for our relationship. I'm getting fed up with it and about to break things off. |
t3_3984pm | personalfinance | New parent seeking advice, just lost a job I barely got started with due to a 'budget cut' | I recently had my son on April 28th, 2015, I am 24 and have been steadily searching for new possible career paths since the moment I had found out I was going to be a father. Long search story short, I had went through multiple interviews, drug tests, screenings, psychological tests (for some city jobs) and finally landed a real shot at a possible career. I was to be a 911 Dispatch Officer, but apparently on my second day I was let go due to a budget cut. I had not done anything wrong, was fully attentive throughout whatever time I had there, more so than the others that were left to stay in my opinion, but it is what it is, I was notified second day that there was a budget cut and some of us had to go and without much debate it seemed she had already picked me first. I don't have any college yet but I do plan on returning to school once I get everything sorted out for my son and fiance. Have any of you got some fresh ideas for me? I am completely tapped and seem like I have no options. | I can't work any jobs for highschool kids anymore, it's time to move up and get something real started. |
t3_m143p | AskReddit | Does anyone know what the hell's up with my ass? (Potentially NSFW language) | This is some real shit. Every time I take a dump the turd itself goes fine, but from there on out it seems as though my asshole is trying to wage a war against me. It starts out when I wipe; there's a mild burning sensation around the hole itself (NB: I don't wipe particularly vigorously or violently or anything..I'd like to think I have a respectful relationship with the ol' chocolate starfish) but I ignore it and wipe until the tp comes back spotless. Now I pull my pants back up and shit gets real. The mild burning sensation becomes legitimately painful, a constant background buzz to the rhythm and flow of my bodily functions. From here if I have to go somewhere (in other words, start walking or moving or just not sitting down) then it gets much worse and I'll start feeling liquid down there (imagine swamp-ass, but if the swamp was also being napalmed), if I wipe again after a short time the tp will come back wet and shitty (remember, this is after a spotless final wipe in the original shitting). If I just sit down then the pain changes based on how I sit (with the most pain when I sit directly on the hole and less if I put my weight on other parts of the ass) and no wetness, but when I get up same deal with wetness and the strange and mystical return of shitty wipes. This goes on pretty much all day if I take a shit in the morning. If I shit at night it goes until I fall asleep, I can only guess the sort of asshole-repairing wizardry that goes on behind that veil of slumber. I'll also add that this is a pretty consistent happening and it happens regardless of the shit's characteristics, so I'm pretty sure I'm not just tearing myself a new one every time I lay down a mean turd. Also, I'm 100% sure it's not an STD. Well, as sure as a man in my position can be... | for up to 18 hours after I shit my general ass region feels like a god damned warzone. What's going on? Hemorrhoids? Poor dietary choices? Is that stick up my ass finally dislodging? |
t3_2o8hui | self | Crushed Dreams | So pretty much,
One of my close friends has lived in America for over 14 years and we are both seniors in high school now. He was born in Pakistan. My friend has played the sport of cricket for his whole life and has become very good. It's been his dream to succeed in the sport and he's dedicated myriad hours to his game. His hard work paid off as a few months ago, he was selected to an U19 USA team that was sending its players to compete in Gujurat, India among the best players around the world at their age. He was ecstatic until finding out today that he did not receive a visa to travel to India. See, since he was born in Pakistan, the Indian embassy refused to give him a visa to their country and he is now unable to attend the cricket match he's worked so hard to achieve. He's crushed by the news and we wanted to bring attention to the issue that stuff like this happens. It sucks that they'd crush a kids dreams like that.
Any comments/suggestions?
Thanks | my friend plays cricket. Got invited to tournament in India. Didn't get visa because he was born in Pakistan. Missing out on the biggest opportunity of his life. |
t3_426tqq | Dogtraining | Help with 1-year-old GSD and playgroup | Hey guys! Hoping I might be able to get some suggestions on this. My husband and I have a wonderful, loving 1-year-old GSD. We've done a lot of training with her and she's extremely well behaved, but is still, you know, a rambunctious puppy. For most of her life, she's gone to a dog park playgroup 2x a week with a local shop we love (we're boarded her with them too, and she's done great).
Today I received the following note from them: "We wanted to touch base about Shep in playgroup. [X trainer] and [Y trainer] have both expressed concerns that she is becoming too intense, and we feel it is the best interest of the group to have her take a break. She is not aggressive, but she often gets very focused on a certain dog and will be relentless in her pursuit of that dog. It takes a lot of management to then keep her focus redirected, to the point that they can't give enough attention to the other dogs in the group. We all love Shep and want to continue helping provide her with the exercise and stimulation that she needs. We wanted to suggest going back to walks, and potentially having smaller group playtime in the back yard. For now I will reschedule her playgroup days as walks starting next week, but please let us know your thoughts."
I feel kind of... heartbroken, honestly. We've worked so hard with her and she's fantastic with us, as well as when we take her to the park ourselves. These playgroups have been phenomenal for her - she's great with both dogs and people because of it and is extremely friendly. I don't want to have to stop sending her, and I'm not sure what to do. Plus, both my husband and I work FT, so having her get exercise like this a few times a week has been so unbelievably helpful.
Do you guys have any suggestions for behavior like this? Should we try sending her to another daycare? Is there some type of training we can/should be doing to help offset this? | Non-aggressive GSD, has been told she needs to "take a break" from playgroup because she is "too intense." Looking for advice on alternatives/training. |
t3_2woqqt | personalfinance | PSA: (US) Auto Insurance and the cost of the monthly payment options. Don't be like me! | I just got through redoing my car insurance. As part of that redo, the car insurance company offered me the option to purchase the insurance on a monthly or a six-month basis. I thought to myself: *Hmm, monthly budgeting will be a lot easier and that's how I've been doing it, but let's see what the costs are.*
Monthly Payments: $75.85. Total is $455.
Lump Sum: $411.
Now you might say: *That's a 10% interest rate.* You'd be wrong, because you're making payments for only a six month period.
20%? No, because you're making payments every month.
The interest rate if you want to breakout Excel and it's handy-dandy XIRR function?
**66%. Yep. 66%.**
I've been paying it that way for seven years because when I started with car insurance I had no idea how to calculate time value of money and even if I had, where was I going to get the several hundred dollars to pay in lump?
Don't be like me, be smart. Pay it in lump if you can or pay it with something that at least charges less interest than 66%. | If you want to pay for auto insurance on a monthly basis, it might be cheaper to just put the balance on your credit card and do it that way. |
t3_41lvgm | relationships | How do I [22F] tell him [25M] that I don't want to "hang out" without overdoing it/making myself seem crazy? | I've been acquaintances/friends with this guy for about half a year when our mutual friend set up weekly trivia night. I've had a crush on him throughout but never acted on anything because I was busy with a messy breakup, casually dating several guys at once, school, and I didn't think he'd be into me.
A month ago, our mutual friend tells me that he thinks I'm cute and blah blah blah I eventually drink enough one trivia night to text him if he would like to ~~platonically~~ make out with no strings attached.
We make out that night and again when we all (five of us) hang out, and the making out could have easily lead to sex.
Today he texts me asking if I'd like to hang out, which we have never done one-on-one before.
I just recently cut off all contact with my ex and stopped dating four guys so that I could focus on my self-esteem. I get infatuated with people easily and the validation or lack of validation from relationships distracts me from working on myself. I really like him as a person and would love to hang out with him/do anything with him, but I know anything from being FWBs to getting into a relationship would end up wrong because of my low self-esteem and my infatuation with him.
I've typed out my response to hanging out with him but it seems so neurotic and robotic. I don't want to seem cold, but I want him to know I'm not rejecting him because I don't like him. Is there anything I should add/remove?
> The short answer is no.
>The long, full disclosure answer is yes, I want to, but it's logically healthier for me (and probably you as well) in the long run to say no. I'm trying to work on myself and any type of one-on-one interaction with you, platonic or not, would be distracting because I'm already a bit infatuated with you, and infatuation usually leads to a decrease in self control on my part. | I'm trying to work on myself, infatuation distracts me from that, and my crush wants to hang out one-on-one for the first time. Is what I've written an okay thing to send to him? |
t3_2gftgq | travel | Traveling to china | Hello /travel im bugzy
Today ide like some help awnsering a couple questions. Later in the year or early 2015 I plan on taking a trip to china, im going alone and was wondering what the cheapest way to get there is from ontario, canada.
Ide also like to know how much you think i would need to survive ( does it cost alot to travel within the country, are there plenty of inns and places to stay in places outside the major cities ) im going to be buying a one way ticket as i have no obligations to come back to canada until university starts in september 2015 and im going to leave my parents with around 1500-2000$ so they can send me it when i decide/need to get and go home
Ide also like to have your opinions of where i should visit when im there, i want to see the basic stuff like the forbidden city and the great wall but also want to see places like yangshuo where i heard the scenery is very spectacular, and is the country nice to foreigners who are travelling throughout it and not just in the regular tourist hotspots?
Thank for any help, advice or opinions | cheapest way to get from canada to china, how much it would be to backpack for a week-month, places to see when in china |
t3_2t6s1g | relationships | I dont know what to think, please give me your 2 cents. | I am 21(m) and my girlfriend is 27. She has a 5 year old son and a psycho ex. She had to meet with hin recently to get him to pay child support and make nice so he wouldnt give her a problem. The context of this is that this guy has threatened her and she sprung this on me out of nowhere. I told her im not okay with her being there alone with her son because of this guys past history with threats. She told me she agreed to go to the mall and out to dinner at olive garden. She got drunk and ignored me for most of the night, tells me shes driving over an hour away with him so their son can meet his aunts. I tell her im definitely not okay with this shes drunk and brushes me off. She ends up staying in a hotel with her and her son and him she swears has two beds after ignoring me all night. I freaked out, she swears nothing happened. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt but shes still texting him, I glanced at her phone this morning and she and him were texting back and forth being friendly and he said " I want to cuddle your face, what are you doing today? " she brushed it off by when I was holding her phone portraying it like he was being annoying but I read the conversation and she didnt tell him to stop. I didnt push it but I just picked up her phone and she deleted the conversation im assuming after responding. Im freaking out here please help | my girlfriend spent the night in a hotel with her baby daddy, swears nothing happened. Wont stop texting him, help? |
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