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t3_g4r3v | AskReddit | Mentors, how close do you aspire to be with your mentees? | I strongly disapprove of all the shit men get when they're around children by themselves like the rest of Reddit, but my roommate is no child. She's a sweet and pretty girl with big eyes, big boobs, and wavy hair. She is somewhat naive about the world and the people around her, but she thinks her male mentor's intentions are pure.
He's single and in his late 40's. He's had years of experience mentoring college students in my roommate's concentration. The students in said concentration are mostly female, so he mostly has mentored females. But this guy brings my roommate food and DVD's on occasion (driving all the way to our apartment) just cuz, drove up a couple of hours to meet her parents who were concerned about the situation, and talks to her on the phone about way more than just his profession/her studies. (It's always him who goes off topic and talks about the other aspects of their lives, so he's the one initiating it, not her.) It seems to me like he acts like a bit of a boyfriend (or someone who's trying to be), but then again, I've never had a mentor, let alone a male mentor. How worried should I be, if at all?
I've casually asked her before, after the mentor drove to our apartment a few times, "Is he this close with all his mentees?" She responded, "I don't think he's working as closely with any of his other mentees" and thought nothing more of it. | Single male mentor spending more time and effort with my roommate than I expect. Is this normal or should I be worried and talk to her about it? |
t3_tld12 | AskReddit | How do I inform my parents I do not share their faith? | My parents are members of a christian church and attend meetings every week. My father has been in some leadership positions a few times; So they are well known by the congregation.
For a long time, I would go with them and, in general, did not find it unpleasant. I have a lot of good friends in the congregation.
But I find myself not sharing their faith anymore. I'm not entirely atheist, but definitely do not appreciate the concept of organized religion. I have only recently come to this conclusion, and no one else knows.
I want to come out, so to speak, so I don't have to keep up a facade. But I also want to stay on good terms with my parents and friends; i.e. Not be viewed as accusatory or hostile or as "denouncing" their faith.
My parents aren't ones to become angry. When a friend of my father announced he was gay, my father seemed more disappointed than anything. I have a feeling my friends and other family that attend the church will react similarly.
Does anyone with experience with "coming out" religiously? As said, I'd like to keep on good relations with my friends and family, but also want them to misunderstand that I did not suddenly develop this "lack of faith" without thinking it through. | I need help letting my friends/family know I don't share their faith, but I want to stay on good terms with them. |
t3_16erna | AskReddit | Any advice on how to get back at cyberbullies for hacking? | Hi Reddit, long-time lurker and first-time poster here. I am in a situation which has my blood boiling and I hope you can help. My younger sister is in high school and has had a really tough time with bullying both online and IRL. She's on medication for depression, has always struggled academically and is newly overweight, 3 things which make her an easy target. She has literally zero friends, as the kids that *were* her friends, the "cool" football player-cheerleader types, are the very ones that exclude and humiliate her. They will stop at nothing - they are obsessed. They extend invitations to social events then ditch her or uninvite her, they call out "Shut up!" when she raises her hand in class, and make horrible comments all over her Facebook.
My sister is also smart as a whip and about the friendliest, wittiest girl I know - she babysits for every family in our neighborhood with rave reviews. But these kids are crushing her. She no longer thinks of herself as a person with value -- just a helpless victim, always the butt of the jokes, put down over and over and over again. She's terrified to go to college in the fall because she's never had a single real friend and thinks all people are cruel and manipulative.
The last straw came this week when three boys hacked into her Facebook and Gmail thru the security questions (she unfriended them all long ago) and bragged about it to the entire school. When the principal got involved because they refused to hand back the passwords, she got called a "snitch" and they are now even more relentless in their bullying. I am pretty good at the Internet and would possibly like to take some mild anonymous action (nothing too mean), just moving karma along a little quicker. What can I do besides sign them up for a million annoying spam emails? | Long-term bullying has turned my friendly, witty high-school sister into an overweight, depressed target with a victim mindset. How can I get back at these little mama's-boy shits for hacking her email and Facebook? |
t3_4qdgxj | relationships | Me [17M] with my mom, having trouble getting along | I've exhausted most of my options in real life so I'm looking here for some real critiques and advice with how to deal with my mom.
To start, my mom is a very strong woman. My parents divorced when I was 12 and it's been fairly normal ever since. She has under control stage 4 cancer and is on medicine to keep it that way. Here's where the problems begin. My mom thinks I have all sorts of problems. First, she thinks I'm depressed and anxious, which admittedly I once was. She also thinks I'm overweight, partially true, and a drug addict, 100% false. She is unwilling to drug test me to disprove that final point.
She is so anal about these issues that we can't stand to do anything together without her bringing these up. 2 weeks ago, again probably going to get ripped here, I took her car for probably the 5th time in the middle of the night, and she caught me. She has a nice luxury car and to me, there's nothing better than a night ride blasting music and relaxing. It calms me down so much. She doesn't seem to get that. The last time, 2 weeks ago, she thought I was going to buy drugs at 2am to support a raging habit. Again, false. I sent her some strongly worded text messages and found out yesterday through my therapist that she took them to be abusive, which explains why she wasn't responding to me.
I found out today that her cancer may be progressing and I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want her to focus on me 24/7 as it gets me angry and often I fly off the handle. When she presses for me to lose weight or take antidepressants it makes me so mad inside. I want to be there for her during what potentially could be a tough time and don't know how to best do so. I am currently living with my dad as she kicked me out after taking her car the last time. Today I learned she has a scan tomorrow to find out what the story is with her cancer. I offered to tag along but she declined because her mom is taking her. | Mom and I don't get along, but her cancer may be progressing and I don't know how to be there for her without fighting with her. |
t3_4a0pbi | tifu | TIFU By not having a drink after taking antibiotics. | (actually a year ago). I have a habit of just swallowing pills and not worrying about having a drink afterwards. I'd never thought anything of it. I had a chest infection and took 2 of the pills quickly at work as I had managed to get into the Drs in the morning during work. I work in a lab, you never consume food/drink while working in a lab and the break room was 20m too far away so I went without a drink.
2 hours later I felt the strong urge to burp (I'm not a burper in general). So of I went and out came a cloud. My first thought was 'why am I breathing smoke?', then I took a breath in and inhaled the fine dust that was contained in the pills. This immediately dropped me to my knees; felt like I was dying on the floor. | The pills had lodged in my throat and dissolved, they created a gas reaction that made me burp and then I inhaled the contents and felt like I was dying. |
t3_28fkvq | relationships | Me [25 M] with my gf [23 F] for 5.5 years, having intimacy trouble because she is sick of a recently developed disease. | Hi /r/relationships,
I've been with my current girlfriend for 5.5 years, and in the last year she's developed this rare disease called Behçet's Syndrome). This causes her all kinds of problems, ulcers in mouth/genitals/others, joint/muscle inflammation, and all sorts of fevers.
Also, the medication she takes makes her dizzy/queasy/tired and so much more. She also started taking azathioprine, which makes her even more tired/queasy/etc. and also has the side effect of making her every urine/poop/other excretions **toxic to my health**.
We haven't really talked about the effect of this disease or these drugs on our intimacy, but I can't help feeling frustrated even though I want to be totally supportive for her in this impossible situation.
I love her more than anything. Can anyone give me any advice in such a situation? | Girlfriend of 5.5 years has Behçet's syndrome, getting intimate is improbable/impossible. What do? |
t3_2yc0wi | relationships | I [M15] met up with old friend [F14] and made out, what do i say to her? | Hello
So last night I was with two of my friends and with a girl I haven't seen in years. She did not recongnise me at first because i've changed alot since i last saw her. I used to have a crush on her before she moved away.
btw we are all 15, she was my first kiss also.
She said to my two friends that she thought I was hot and I was pretty shocked, no ones ever called me hot before. Later that night I was quite drunk and she was tipsy. I sat next to her and then she started kissing me and then we made out. After this we both went home and now I dont know what to say to her!
Help!
Thanks | Saw friend I hadnt seen in years, I used to have crush on her, called me hot and then we made out. |
t3_4o2lyn | relationships | Bringing my partner (22GQ) to meet my (21) conservative family | I've been in a relationship with Sam(22) since late August. Sam is genderqueer- they don't use gendered pronouns and they don't dress according to traditional gender binaries. This has never been an issue with us; I'm not a cis person either- though it's worth noting I'm not out to my family.
Next month we're going to my family's 4th of July party. Whoo, meeting the family! Exciting! A big step! I'm not worried about my immediate family not liking Sam. My parents like Sam because my grades and mental health have been a lot better since we got together, and my brother likes Sam because Sam works in [field my brother is interested in]. I'm worried about my extended family.
First of all, I've met Sam's family- they're polite, well-off, and well-educated. My family is more on the poor side and DEFINITELY more on the trashy side, which would be fine, if my extended family wasn't also fairly conservative. I'm worried about the extended family (especially my Trump-loving, gun-toting uncles) taking issue with Sam's gender and being either disrespectful (like using the wrong pronouns or asking nosy questions about their genitals) or outright cruel.
I am not going to ask my partner to pretend to be something they're not for my family's sake, and I've warned Sam about my extended family. I talked to my parents and they're willing to back me up if I need to shut down my uncles being rude, and I've got the number for a local cab company in case Sam and I want to leave early. I guess what I'm asking is if there's anything else I can do? Any useful scripts for introducing Sam with their correct pronouns that shut down snarky/rude comments? | I'm introducing my queer partner to my conservative extended family for the first time soon. Any tips/advice to make it go as smoothly as possible & for me to support my partner? |
t3_2ddwmg | offmychest | I fear for my sexuality... | I recently caught myself looking at something that I've never considered looking at. I'm going to be very vague, but it was a kind of porn that I normally despise, and the part of the community of people who look at it in lust.
Note: this isn't CP, rape, or any of the sorts, this is just weird, internet fantasy fetish stuff.
For almost 4 years, I've heard, or saw forum discussions, about this group of people who look at this sort of thing in confusion, until I saw it for myself for the first time a week after I heard about it. I was hesitant, I didn't exactly know how bad it would be to look at it, hesitation finally caved in and I looked it up. It was by far the most disgusting thing I had ever seen, and I never looked at it again.
4 years later, I found myself in lust at what I used to think was disgusting and crude, it spooked me seeing myself in lust at what I was seeing. For the past week, I've been contemplating on whether or not to post this, mostly because I don't think it'll help me, and I'm already insecure as is.
But over the course of these 4 years, I've developed a sense of respect, being okay or reasonable with the things people look at. It doesn't bother me that people look at it, it bothers me that I look at it, especially in lust, and for what it is. | I looked at weird porn, hated it, 4 years later, beatin off to it, now I'm scared for my sexuality. |
t3_r0dit | dating_advice | (Me [19m], Her [16f] So we had our first date and we didn't kiss, it would be our first kiss for both of us. Is this bad? | [This is the updated post] The relevant stuff is at the bottom update.
> I picked her up at 7:40PM, from there we went walking to the movies, the movie was for 20:05PM, and we watched Chronicles (BTW the movie is pretty good), I paid for the popcorn and water (neither of us drinks soda) :3
Well, when we went out we decided to go to eat something, so we went to Subway, but none of us were very hungry so we just bought one sandwich to share.
>
> We walked to the park (the same park mentioned before) to supposedly eat the sandwich, and we searched for a tree to sit together.
>
> The just cuddled there chatting until 23:00PM, since her mom told her to be back at that time. So we ended up not eating the sandwich, and at the door of her home we just stood hugged for a while. Then, silly me, I asked if she wanted me to kiss her, she said she was scared because it was her first kiss, so I told her so was mine, so it was kind of relieving. At the end I didn't kiss her, I told her there was no hurries.
>
> At the end when I came home and talked to her 5 minutes ago in the FB Chat, we discussed it and we both agreed that we should have kissed there. So well, I guess I'm plain stupid. But hey, on the bright side, none of us have kissed before, so, no pressure there.
>
> We are going to meet again on Monday, I'll probably pick her up at the school and walk her home. And we are going to see The Hunger Games on Friday or Saturday.
>
> So I guess this was a proper first date, and I'm pretty damn happy about it, maybe not that much about the kissing part, but the rest of it was wonderful :)
>
> Is not that bad to not kiss on the first date right? | The date was wonderful, but at the door of her house we were about to kiss and we didn't because it would be or first kiss and we got kind of scared, I don't know. |
t3_uktwa | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, so I'm having a tough time thinking of what to do about my crush on a girl. | So I like this girl, and I talk to her usually whenever she's on, which isn't too much sadly. Recently, I asked her what series she'd recommend me to watch since I'll be bored for a while since it's the beginning of the summer vacation. She told me to watch Desperate Housewives, and she seemed to really want me to. My problem now is should I watch it? I've watched a few episodes already, but I'm scared that if I keep watching it and discussing it with her, she'll think I'm that type of guy and she'll friend zone me. What should I do Reddit? | Should I continue watching a show that might make my crush think that I'm a faggot and friend zone me? |
t3_vrzgh | relationships | Boyfriend is going to college on the other side of the state. I feel sad. | I live in the western side of Washington. My bf of two years is leaving to college in Spokane, the complete opposite side of the state. He kept this from me last until he made his decision. He had previously told me he would try his hardest to stay nearby. Never once have I asked him to stay behind for me though. I knew that would be wrong. But I'm scared and hurt and I feel so abandoned. He hasn't left yet, but I know it's coming. I can't drive and knowing him, his visits will probably be rare.
I feel like his sister is being incredibly defensive about it and seems to think that I'm going to mess things up and doesn't "feel sympathy," I suppose. The only thing she could manage to tell me when I told her how scared I was (she's my best friend) was that no matter what, do not ask him to stay. Like I said, I never planned to do that.
I am also panicking because he wants to be in the movie business. He would like to be an editor. If any of you know any reassuring statistics of the likelihood that he will be successful in this, please tell me, because I don't know much about the movie-making process, but I know it is incredibly competitive and difficult to get into.
Also, he is moving even farther away before he goes to Spokane. There is no way i would break up with him, but things are getting so.. Depressing. I just want to skip to the happy part where we can have an apartment together or something.
I don't really know what I'm asking here. I haven't really talked to anybody about this, because I feel selfish for feeling this way. I guess I just want to get it out, hear some reassurance. I've been so sad the past few weeks, and had nobody to talk to because he is my closest friend, and I want him to do what is best for himself, not what will just make me happy. | My boyfriend is going to college on the other side of the state and I can't say anything to him about how I feel. |
t3_2neojl | relationships | Is there anything [24 M] can do to help my GF [27 F] get through the holidays easier? She lost her son Fall of 2013. | I am curious to know if there is anything I can do to help my girlfriend get through the holidays a little easier. She lost her son last Fall in October. He was 3, about to turn 4. I didn't know her then, so this will be the first holiday I spend with her, and her two other girls(6,8).
We live together now, so Christmas morning will start at my house, then we will move around to our immediate families.
I don't have any children of my own, so I don't begin to understand the pain she is about to go through in the next few weeks. I want to make it as special as possible. I understand there will be tears, but I want to try to comfort her as best as possible. Any thoughts? | Girlfriend lost her son last Fall, this is the first holiday with her, and I want to know how I can make it easier for her. |
t3_t9m2g | AskReddit | My driving instructor is blatantly trying to get as much money out of me as possible. What's the most blatant act of "bleeding you dry" you've come across? | I'm learning to drive, and thanks to my heart & lung condition, I get 40 hours of lessons courtesy of the Government. He knows this, and he's clearly trying to capitalise on this by stretching everything out over as long as possible so my mum & dad have to pay for extra lessons.
Obviously, 40 hours should be MORE than enough to get me through, but so far I've had 14 hours, and I've only got up to 4th gear - 40 mph and basically just driving around town. I haven't started reversing yet, or any more advanced manoeuvres.
It's not like I'm a slow learner - I've been accepted into one of the top grammar schools in the country for my A levels, and it's not like I don't know what I'm doing. He is simply trying to get more money out of us.
I've considered asking for a change of instructor but I decided it's not worth the disruption in my learning, nor the hassle. But equally, I'm too scared to face up to him in person and say I know what he's trying to do.
I've decided to book my practical exam for the summer holidays, so it doesn't give him enough time to try and drag out more lessons, but I don't know if that will work.
Anyway, anyone else had an experience where someone is clearly trying to take them on for more than is necessary? | Driving instructor is trying to stretch out my lessons because I get 40 hours from the government, essentially he's trying to waste them, so my mum & dad have to pay for more. |
t3_1edw2s | AskReddit | What's the best way to move out without offending my roommate? | Ok, so a little context:
I moved to Ohio for college about 6 years ago. I had the same roommate from freshman all the way through senior year. After we both graduated we decided to continue living together to split expenses and because it was what we were both used to.
So I have lived with the same person for 5 years and I do consider him one of my best friends. Lately though, I find myself wanting to live alone and how much happier I could be. I feel like we are both growing in separate ways and it is time to move on. I genuinely do not enjoy him as a roommate anymore, and I really want to live on my own. Our year lease is up so I have no contractual obligations to stay there. I desperately want to move out but I also know this may come as a shock to him.
Like I said he is one of my best friends and I would hate to lose him over something like this, but I can no longer live there. It is really starting to make me despise him and its making me generally unhappy so I know that I am 100% sure me moving out will happen withhin the next few months.
How do I break the news to him in the best way possible. I want to be as nice as possible. I want to try to maintain our friendship but I don't know how that would be possible. This also puts him in a terrible position as he would need to move too because he could not afford the apartment on his own. So I would be completely responsible for putting him through such a stressful situation of finding a whole new place to live and possibly another roommate. I also do not want to tell him too early cause I would hate to live our last few months together in silence and hate. PLEASE HELP! | I've had the same best friend roommate for 6 years, I need to know how I can move out and still maintain the friendship. |
t3_2vh5hr | tifu | TIFU by accidentally asserting dominance over the new lodger | We'd recently re-arranged the kitchen after the last lodger moved on and took his furniture with him. Some bright spark decided the perfect place for the kitchen bins was now behind the dining table. At best, this meant the bins were now blocked by a chair. At worst, a person sitting in a chair.
After being introduced to the new lodger, I put away my groceries, and went to throw out some expired food. But the bin was full. I didn't want to disturb the new guy sitting eating his take-away, so I decided to extract the bin by lifting it up over the other edge of the table.
While leaning over and pinching it with one hand, I noticed it seemed a tad heavier than usual. Undeterred, I hoisted it up, pinching its flange and its lid between my fingers and thumb. While pivoting my arm around the obstructing floor lamp, lifting it high in the air, without warning, the lid shifted, disturbing my grip, and the bin and half its contents crashed down from shoulder height onto the dining table.
Weirdly, new guy, who barely speaks a word of English, calmly continued eating his food, staring into the middle distance, as if he was used to this kind of abuse. I suggested angrily to my other house-mates that this wasn't the best place to store the bins. Who knows what new guy thought I was yelling. | TIFU after being introduced to the new lodger by immediately throwing a bin full of rubbish over the kitchen table where he sat eating his first meal in his new home, and then yelling. |
t3_3cx0h8 | tifu | TIFU by dispatching an order to a driver who was fired 3 days ago | Unlike most TIFU posts, this happened just a few hours ago...
I am a trainee dispatcher for a courier/trucking company. I have worked for the company as a courier for 2+ years and they decided to give me a shot on dispatching to fill in.
Tonight was my 3rd shift alone and nothing came in until 4 am, which was a quick run to Chicago for a well known company who deals in server and other electronic parts. It was due at 8, my shift ends at 7, so that falls on me to dispatch it out to make sure the order will be there on time.
I call a few drivers to no avail and try one other person. He agrees to pick it up and go...
Cut to 45 minutes ago, the delivery isn't made and I'm getting phone calls about it....
Turns out the guy who I dispatched the order to got fired last week with a bunch of other drivers and I was never given an updated driver list since I am new/rarely work as dispatcher. So I basically handed a $2000+ part to someone who has a vengeance against the company. | accidentally dispatched a $2000+ server part to a driver who was fired less than a week ago and is nowhere to be found. |
t3_2qgtv3 | tifu | TIFU by putting off my shower. | Happened Tuesday, as fair disclosure.
So a few weeks ago I ended up with my first ever girlfriend. Whoo! And just in time for free-stuff day, too. So we both got each other presents and she was going to come over to my house so that we could give them to each other. She said she'll be here at noon.
So Tuesday comes along, and I'm getting ready. I decide to get on the internet and browse around to kill time until she gets here. I look up at the clock and she that it's 11:30, so I figure I've got another 5 minutes are so before I need to take a shower.
I end up getting in at about five minutes later. I'm just sudsing up my hair when I hear the doorbell ring. Ugh. I decide to ignore it since it's probably someone trying to sell us something. A few minutes later, my phone bloops (it's on the counter). Then again. I peek out and see that it's her!
Stepping out, she's outside waiting for me to let her in! Dratdratdratdrat! So hurriedly I wrap up in a towel and run down to answer the door, only to have her burst into laughter when she sees all the shampoo in my hair. | Took a shower so I wouldn't smell like teenager when she got here. She showed up early and I had to answer the door with suds all over my head. |
t3_52ioju | relationships | Me [16 M] with my ex-girlfriend [16 F] of 1.5 years, we both seemed serious about getting back together, basically played me. | Warning, this might be cringeworthy by your standards around here.
Our relationship was always alright, I guess. Sure we're young so we had our share of petty arguments but at the end of the day it always seemed we 'loved' each other. I never saw the break up coming.
We broke up over the summer, you know, one of those Teenager-type deals, just didn't go well over the summer. We got back to school and she had a new boyfriend; however she always sub-posted about me on all of her social media. I decided to text her, and she came to the conclusion she would break up with him, stay single for a while, and get back with me. Immature, I know.
But I was love-struck and was okay with it. We hung out that weekend at a festival downtown, talked to her afterwards and she seemed serious, told me she wished nothing had ever happened and that we could be like we used to be. Fast-forward a week or so later and she says we shouldn't talk anymore- she just needs some time alone. I text her a few days later telling her I wasn't there to fight for her, just to talk to her. I find out today she is back with the other guy.
I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to tell her and him off, but I know that's the immature route and would get me no where. Another part of me wants to be friends and see if I get anywhere. Yet another part of me just wants to cut her out of my life completely.
This whole situation has messed me up mentally. I can't ever think straight, I'm abusing drugs, I'm always in a bad mood.
My question is how should I handle this. How should I approach this situation as a whole. Let it go? Confront her? Cut her out? And how do I go about any of it... | Ex wanted to get back together, feeling was mutual. Cuts me off "needing time alone" and goes back to other guy. I don't know what to do. |
t3_1rr8w3 | relationship_advice | (17/M) Friend (17/F) acting weird all of a sudden. Advice would be helpful. | So we're good friends, and we've been hanging out alot more this year and have slowly been hanging out one on one. Anyways we were planning to hang a few weeks ago and she suggested we see a movie. Alone. Together. So immediately I see the warning flags, but say "what the hell" and go, not expecting (but also not discouraging) any thing to happen. So we get there and have a great time, but she put the armrest down, so nothing happened, and we went home. The next week at school people found out we went to eat and see a movie alone, and hounded her about "dating" me. I never called it a date, and nothing happened, but she all of a sudden doesn't talk to me as much, and when I initiate she sees it as me obsessing over her. I'm trying to figure out how to get her to act normal again without overstepping boundaries. And then potentially set up a situation where if I wanted to date her or ask to prom or whatever, I'd be in a position to do so. Thanks in advance. | Girl friend and I hung out alone, others called it a "date" thn she got weirded out and isn't the same with me |
t3_uqmo3 | relationships | My first relationship.... I need help! | Okay... I will say it right now that the situation i put myself into is my fault and I have no one to blame but me.
I asked a girl out for the first time in my life. First 2 weeks were great. Every time I would see her my heart would flutter. After that, things went downhill. For some reason, there are things that bug me about her.
First of all, her personality. Most of it, i really really love. She's a very cheerful happy person that makes me happy when I see her. But her lack of ..... (thinking of a good word)..... let's say self-control, is what bugs me. All she does is eat without any self-control at all and she is incredibly overweight. I have subtly suggested that we worked out together but she laughs it off saying, "Me? Work out? AHAHAHHA." Her image issues are truly bugging me. We've been pushing to have sex soon in about 1-2months but her unattractiveness is really starting to get to me.
Secondly, she always has this, "You don't OWN me" attitude. She's right, I don't own her. But when i say, "C'mon babe, drinking Starbucks 10 times a week is really unhealthy and its killing your wallet," she gets all defensive. I am only trying to look out for her health and her well-being, but apparently if she doesn't want me to care about her, I just might not anymore.
Lastly, she doesn't say the cutesy stuff I say to her. I almost feel like she does not care about me. I always call her "babe" or "honey" but I don't receive a similar response. I almost feel like a sex toy for her.
Here's the twist. Basically, one thing led to another, and im stuck not only LIVING with her for the entirety of summer, but I also am moving in with my friend that happens to live right next to her for the entire next school year......
So with that..... please... I really need help... I don't want my first relationship to be a disaster. | i feel im having compatability issues with my gf, and im looking for solutions to make this relationship work. Sounds like im complaining the whole post but i need advice. |
t3_14f0wx | self | I am so mad at UPS right now | This is more of a rant than anything else.
Basic story is, I managed to order a Nexus 4 from google (which is a challenge on its own with the its demand) couple of weeks ago and it was supposed to be delivered to my house today. Im tracking the order at work and notice that it says its been delivered to my front door. I live close to work, so I decide to go pick it up before it gets stolen or something.
I go to my front door and whoop-de-doo its not there. I check my lobby (I live in an apartment complex) where packages are usually left, I check my front door but is not there. I call UPS about this and they tell me that all I can do is call google and let them know about this so that google can file an investigation at UPS. So I call up google and they say that my only option is to provide them consent so that they can brick the phone and provide me with a refund. I then have to order the phone again and wait for the delivery...again. The wait time for the phone right now is 6-7 weeks... | I will have to wait over 10 weeks to get a Nexus 4 cause a stupid UPS driver is stupid enought to leave a Nexus4 at the front door of my house... |
t3_3lrjxm | relationships | I [19F], can't see a future with my Boyfriend [24M] of ten months, but I love him and I want kids with him | So it's been ten months, and some things have started to come out about him that somewhat bother me. Our relationship's also starting to go backwards; initially we got very comfortable with each other, and that lead to sex on the second date; we used to see each other every few days and text, now I see him about once a week, and we only text to arrange plans to catch up. We knew we both wanted a serious relationship, and that did end up being the case for us, but recently, we talked about what we wanted in our relationship, and we both don't know.
Since then, I've been thinking about it, and I realised that I don't know if I could live with him, I think we'd get bored of each other, we seem to lack a bit of common interests and friendship. Also, just the way he is with some things, he can be forgetful, lacks a bit of decency and is fairly lazy. On the other hand, apart from those things, I really like him, and he's the type of person I'd have kids with.
I don't know if I'm thinking ahead too much or insecure about our relationship, but I just don't know if we can have a future together or not. | I love my boyfriend, but I cant see a future for us, what do I do? I feel like almost everything's there, except friendship |
t3_1qunar | AskReddit | What tricks do you use to avoid getting into an argument that you know no good would come out of? | I find myself getting into this situation more and more in my life, but today it started with a conversation with a coworker who just finished reading the book Skinny Bitch (which is part diet book, part vegan manifesto).
I'm a bit of a health food nut (and foodie in general), so the conversation about healthy eating, eating locally, etc, and was going fine, until she said something along the lines of: "Well, I don't think that humans are omnivores and meant to eat meat, because if we were, we'd have things like claws and sharper teeth to help us catch animals."
Me: "That's not what evolution, or being an omnivore is, the fact that we *can* eat meat, and get nutrition out of it means that we've evolved to be omnivores, whether or not you choose to eat meat."
Girl: "Well, that's your opinion, so we should just agree to disagree."
Now, I know why this made me angry, she was getting a fact wrong, and was dismissing the whole thing as opinion, probably because it upset her belief on what being a vegan was. But the dismissal did make me really upset.
I am not on some crusade to solve the worlds stupidity, especially situational stupidity, like in this case, where the conversation doesn't really matter, except if we fight about it, and it makes working together difficult. How do you calm yourself down? Do you say something to yourself? | Someone says something that pisses you off, but you know a fight won't do any good. What tricks do you use to let it go? |
t3_54ij9o | relationships | My [19/f] boyfriend (?) [20/m] denies saying something bad about me and texting other girls that I know he did, and I really don't know what to do. | Kind of an update to my last post, but also kind of not.
Summary of last post: Dated boy for 5 years, broke up for 3 months, he wants to get back together but he texted other girls and told a friend I'd be an easy lay because I'm depressed.
So I confronted my boy friend (mind the space) about the texts to other girls and the ones sent to his friend about me being easy to sleep with again. He denied the one with the friend, saying it was just a joke, he wasn't serious, all that jazz. And he claims the girls were just hookups during the three months we were broken up, but they were like "oh i had fun the other night" and shit like that.
But last night we went to a party and everything seemed fine. We talked a lot and had fun and our friends said it seemed like we never broke up. I stayed at his apartment and we spent the entire day together. I can't just leave him like everyone is telling me to. He was part of my life for much too long to just leave him, those three months we were apart were the worst three of my entire life. Could anyone give me advice that's not just "leave him"? | he says saying i'm easy was a joke, he's not sleeping with other girls. i still love him and don't want to leave, even though everyone is telling me to |
t3_np8d6 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need help dealing with my room-mate. I'm at the end of my rope. :( | Hey there, AskReddit.
I'm having roommate troubles. I've lived with this guy for six months now. this is his first time living away from home. We had a big fight recently because he rarely cleans up after himself. He leaves dishes and empty fountain soda cups everywhere and leaves a lot of his personal stuff in mutual areas like the living room. He says it's because he has toomuch stuff, but refuses to buy shelves or put his things away. He stated before we moved in together that I could come to him if I had any issues, but now any time I bring up his lingering messes he tells me he pays his share so he can leave his stuff where he wants. He has also recently taken to leaving the front door unlocked as well as leaving his window open for days at a time "because he gets hot at night," which means all the heat is blowing out of his window too. He also leaves the house for days and with his window open I'm afraid some one may break in and take my things. Any time I try to talk to him he gets defensive and very aggressive.
Reddit, I feel as through I have exhausted all possible strategies for trying to compromise.
What do? | My roommate is a sheltered asshole with no respect for mutual living space and I don't know how to fix the situation. |
t3_22ltzv | relationships | Me [25 M] with my _gf__ [21 F] of nearly 2 years, small argument of supporting and helping each other | Hello everyone, i'll try to keep this short.
My gf and i are both fluent in English but i'm more native than her in it.
She's native in another language we both speak. Whenever she asks me a question in English, i do my utmost best to explain and help her understand anything. I live in her country so we're at her native country. I often ask her for help in translating certain things such as bills and other daily living needs.
Here's the problem, today i asked her to translate a sentence for me in which i had no idea. She told me the literal translations of it and that was it. I still didn't understand and asked her again in which she just repeated and told me that's the best she can do. I was saddened and disappointed of this only due to the fact that she actually hadn't attempted or even bothered trying to help me with it. Anytime she has asked me about certain things relating to her school(English is quite important for her school) i do my best to make sure she is satisfied and won't stop until her question is fulfilled.
I guess in the end i'm just saddened that she doesn't feel the same way as i do when it comes to supporting each other. I communicated and expressed my sadness and disappointment to her and she and i got into a fight. Was it alright of me to ask that of her and bring it up? Or am I being too picky and shouldn't have expressed myself? | Got in an argument where i seeked help from her but didn't feel that she really tried. I usually do my best to help and support her but don't feel that it's reciprocated. |
t3_13ufzy | relationships | I'm a male (19) having questions about a Female (19) friend | Okay first a little background on my story, Have had a couple bad relationships before where one was only using me to get to my brother, the other one, I got way too deep for what it was and ended up getting hurt at the end of it. Since these two I haven't really considered dating for the past two years at all. I haven't found girls attractive until this one. We met during band camp while eating lunch in the union building and over the past couple of months I really have come to care for her. I was ready to tell her about how I feel when bam, she gets a boyfriend. Now I am so confused about what to do and what is appropriate with this girl. So many questions to ask so add what you think about the situation and what I should do. I am also wondering if it still is okay to ask her to hang out with only her and stuff like that. Now I know what is completely off limits like telling her how I feel right now or anything else like that but what is still acceptable without ruining a good friendship or ruining her relationship with this guy? | Found a girl that I haven't felt something like this in a while, missed my chance to ask her out and now am wondering what is acceptable in our friendship for me to do. |
t3_hbd5e | legaladvice | Tennessee DMV revoked my license and tags. What can I do to possibly fight this? | A few days ago I received a letter from the Tennessee Department of Safety saying they had revoked my license and vehicle tags due to a judgement made on me that was unpaid.
I am working with my lawyer to possibly fight the judgement. I was unaware it was even happening until i received this letter from the state.
I have only had a couple of days to pull the facts together but basically the DMV will not do anything until the court says ok. The court wont say ok until the lawyer suing me says ok. The lawyer suing me will not say ok, unless i pay 500 down and start making payments. This is not an option due to lack of funds.
Its a catch 22. They are keeping me from working but they expect me to pay this debt without a job.
Is there anything i can do in the interim to get a restricted license to go to work and back? | DMV revoked me based on a judgement that was pushed without me knowing. Can i do anything to keep my license to go to work and back? |
t3_1yvz1b | relationships | Me (25/f) with interest (24/m). HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE I REMEMBER! (UPDATE 2, NEED ADVICE). | [Update](
[Original](
Well, things got worse. I forgot that I had a text messaging app on my iPad that we used to use. We used this a really long time ago. I got a huge message from him. This isn't verbatim but this is the gist of it.
"Hey, I need to know. Do you see a future with me? I just want a second chance. I want to start over. If you're interested, I'd like for you to get a hotel in my city and I can show you what I'm really like. We can get to know each other before you make any decisions. I just want to be loved by someone and I think that's you".
I know I shouldn't have responded but I was really mad about the whole thing and I wanted to be clear. I sent a simple "Please do not contact me again. I'm deleting this app." He replied with "I hope you find someone who makes you happy. I don't want to be with you anymore. I want to be alone. If I'm not around, you'll be happy. I'm going to become a better person and move on without you" and he went on a mini rant saying things that I can't even remember. His message sounded completely crazy and unstable.
I deleted the app, but I'm posting this because I'm actually afraid he might show up. I do not think he would show up anytime soon. Actually I know he won't. He spent a lot of money coming last time, but I'm afraid weeks or months from now he will just pop up. If this does happen, I know I don't answer the door but would it be out of line to call the police if he's just at my door? I really don't want him coming back here and I told him this when we talked a few days ago. | He messaged me again on a different app and I'm afraid he might pop up a few months from now. Do I call the cops if this happens or is that out of line? |
t3_1mh3a3 | relationships | Is my [24/f] relationship with my boyfriend [23/m] already too much? | I don't really have a lot of dating experience, but the experience I do have has been relatively negative.
My first boyfriend in college (and my first long term boyfriend ever) was mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. He cheated on me several times and generally made me feel like I was crazy. He used a lot of "gas lighting" in our relationship.
My second boyfriend was not emotionally invested at ALL in our relationship while I was very emotionally invested. Once we broke up, we hooked up several times and it didn't work out well, and eventually that toxicity led me to end our relationship.
I recently started dating my current boyfriend, whom I've known for three years. As far as emotions go, he's very stoic- he doesn't really say cute or romantic things, doesn't often reach for my hand, and rarely compliments me on my appearance.
My current boyfriend also works a lot- around 50 hours a week, so he's pretty busy. I also work 50 hours a week, but we manage to see each other. My issue though is that my boyfriend is very sarcastic and has a very dry sense of humor, and it's become an issue for me. He'll say something that is obviously a joke, but will say it with such sincerity that I actually doubt myself. I've decided that I need to communicate my needs to him- in a relationship, I like to be verbally reminded that my partner cares about me and is proud that we're together.
My question is, is this normal? All of my friends made fun of me for the way that we started dating- we'd been seeing each other for a few weeks and I asked him about exclusivity. He thought about it for a few days and we decided to begin dating. Everyone tells me that it's weird to do things like that, and that relationships should just fall into place. Is it a red flag that my boyfriend and I are already having issues and it's been less than two months? | my boyfriend and I have some minor personality issues that I've decided I want to discuss with him. Is it strange to be having problems like this when you've been dating for less than two months? |
t3_29vnco | relationships | Not sure if I (22M) should break up with my (23F) girlfriend. | For awhile, I've been debating leaving my girlfriend, due to me not being ready to commit to the level she wants me to, and losing interest in the relationship. I've kinda been wanting to go single for awhile but I love this girl and I'm pretty much the only thing she has and I know it'll absolutely crush her if I leave her... Also, a few nights ago, I had a little too much to drink and ended up kissing another girl several times through the night... Which also made me confirm the want to be single.. Not sure what to do/how to break it off. | Love my girlfriend, but wanting to be single, kissed other girls and not sure how to break it off, or what I should do. |
t3_385y65 | tifu | TIFU by not wearing a shirt | This actually happened a month or so ago, but I just recently started using Reddit again. Anyway...
I'm ostensibly male. I was at my friend's house. Now, we're rather close, and so nudity isn't a big deal around there. So, of course, I'm sitting and watching TV in my underwear, because why not? She was upstairs, taking a nap, and otherwise I was the only one in the house. Her husband was at work.
Cue, naturally, the doorbell. I scramble to throw on pants, but by the time I've done so, the person was gone. Or so I thought.
They normally keep their back door unlocked, for the entry of friends/family. Little could I have known, at the door was my friend's *mother*. So, she waltzes right into the room where I (to her, a complete stranger) am standing and quickly throwing on a shirt.
Awkward, but it's not the worst thing that's happened to me. But wait, there's more. At this point, the commotion had woken up my friend, who was now coming down the stairs in a bathrobe she had hastily thrown on. | I met my married friend's mother while both of us had obviously scrambled to look decent, and were alone together in the house. |
t3_2hu3ip | relationships | How to peacefully end my relationship with my boyfriend who I live with? | Things are so complicated and I don't even know how to begin to handle this situation. Any advice would be appreciated. I am a 23 year old female who lives with my 25 year old boyfriend.
We live together in a 1 bedroom apartment. All of our bills are split down the middle. All of the furniture is mine. Both our names are on the lease.
I want to end our relationship because I don't have feelings for him anymore. I don't want to cheat but I just don't want to be with him. How do I peacefully end our relationship? | [F/23] Lives in a 1BR w/ [M/25] boyfriend. Wants to end relationship and handle fallout of not living together peacefully . |
t3_jbe16 | AskReddit | Is becoming a doctor for the money worth it?? | im starting my 4th year of college now and up until now ive planned on becoming a doctor. i'm not gonna sugar coat this or lie like most people do, but i was mostly interested in it for the money.
ive just decided to take a year off after college before i make my decision on the matter, because i dont want to waste all that time and money if it isn't MONETARILY worth it.
so my question to you is, money-wise, factoring in the time and loans and etc, do you think its worth it? My goal is to get a good amount of money, but also have the time to SPEND that money on myself, too.
If you think its worth it, why??
If you don't, then what would you suggest i do instead?? | I want to make a lot of money and have time to spend it on myself. Would you become a doctor to achieve this? |
t3_1tgylj | relationship_advice | We [26/m] have been together [25/f] for 5 years and want to get married, but her parents hate me, what to do? | Her parents hate me for no apparent reason. I have tried my best to talk to them and do everything I can to make this right. But it's not likely to ever happen. They have said terrible things about me. That I'm pathetic, that I'm stupid, that I have nothing to offer, that I'm weak etc. etc.
I would like to marry my girlfriend, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. We can't invite her parents, they wouldn't approve and will misbehave at our wedding. But what will happen if we don't tell them that we are getting married? Should I invite my own parents to the wedding if hers aren't there? Hell would probably break loose. It would anger her entire family. I'm not sure if things will ever be ok if we decide to marry without them knowing. | I want to get married to my girlfriend but her parents hate me. Would getting married to her be a bad idea? Should we tell her parents or not? |
t3_33bi3g | relationships | My girlfriend (both [21F]) is ignoring health issues and I am unable to express concern without severely upsetting her | my girlfriend was recently diagnosed with "pre-diabetes"... her mom has type 2 diabetes so she is more prone, plus she is a bit overweight, doesn't have the best eating habits, whatever. nobody's perfect. Except now she has pre-diabetes, which is like a warning: if you don't change your lifestyle, this will become diabetes and you will be diabetic forever. They told her to avoid foods high in sugar and carbohydrates.
The day she got the diagnosis she ate healthy all day. We began to talk about how hard it would be for her to suddenly be eating cleaner. Then she stopped with that and went back to normal. She eats candy, drinks soda and juice, and eats sugary breakfast cereals every morning. I know it's none of my business but I really don't want her to get diabetes and she's doing everything they said would make you have diabetes!
one night she snap chatted me a picture of herself eating a cookie. I texted her that I was worried about her pre-diabetes. She was angry and upset. She has recovered from having an eating disorder and also has anxiety and depression. Also she has a really overbearing (asian) mom who is obsessed with her health but really is just wanting her to lose weight. So she said that when I said that she saw her mom and I should be supporting her in her difficult time rather than putting her down like that, being so controlling, etc. I apologized profusely and things calmed down.
I had texted her that I had expected her to prioritize this issue more than she has been because her health is important, you only get one body, diabetes sucks, etc. She is watching her mother lose her vision because of diabetes. She said that she has been prioritizing it. She also said "how can I ever eat anything in front of you again knowing you're judging my choices"
fast forward to now and shes still eating candy, in front of me and I see the wrappers in her room. I promised to never say anthing about it again because its not my place. But it's killing me. Is there anything I can do or should I just let her get diabetes?? | gf has pre-diabetes, will get real diabetes if she doesn't stop eating so much sugar, continues to eat sugar, I can't approach her about it / I did it wrong / I shouldn't |
t3_2eu2w8 | relationships | Update; Me[31M] think that I could forgive my ex[26F] who cheated on me. | Updated.
In advance, I'm really sorry for all guys who advised me that I should move on and better off alone. Because within 2 days, I have had really huge alcohol and tried to contact my ex.
Now I'm getting to realize that my ex girlfriend have never considered me as her genuine boyfriend but just DATING partner.
Actually in Korea, there is no concepts for DATING, if you regularly meet someone and have deep physical contacts, then it must be considered as being in a relationship.
Now I'm thinking even she is living in Korea, but she just wanted to meet some guys fairly like she is living in her own country. So it means she is really good at using the crosspath between the culture of Korea and America. For making the dating partner relieved, she just has said like "I love you and we're in a relationship blahblah.." even she has never wanted to be in a serious and exclusive relationship.
So I was NOTHING for her. But just dating partner.
Unfortunately I tried to contact her by Facebook which was the last string to contact her I had. I told her like "Just tell me the truth for the last time" but no responses. I felt really heart-broken.
I know this is totally over. But now I feel really stupid because once if she come to me again, I'll totally forgive her and take her back.
Actually I had never been in a relationship for last 8 years. Because my ex girlfriend who was not my recent girlfriend cheated on me as well. For 8 years honestly there were many girls who wanted to date or be in a relationship with me. But I had had a really serious trust issue to be in a relationship with any women. But finally I met my ex girlfriend and fell in a love. But as you guys know already, I'm heart-broken severely again..
Now I don't have any idea to meet any women again... I'm definately lost now..
"They say time flies but you keep breaking its wings" | even I know this relationship is totally over. But if my ex girlfriend who cheated on me and kept lying come to me, I'll forgive her and take her back. What should I do? I don't know what to do. |
t3_13x2p6 | relationships | Me (m30) found out my wife (f30) of 9 years was sending pictures to a guy, made out with him. | Hey,
My wife has been acting weird lately, it was small things. But they added up, and finally last night I confronted her.
She wouldn't hand over her cell phone, so I took it, and asked her to punch in her password.
She did then asked it for back right away. I held onto it and told her what I was thinking. THat she has been acting weird lately, and I wanted to see what was up.
Finally I get out of her that some guy was trying to sleep with her.
She swears up and down that she didn't, so we keep going, and I get out of her that two Saturdays ago she made out with him, but finally pushed him off of her and said she can't.
Last week, apparently though, she has been texting the living shit out of him. Including lots of nude pictures. Apparently, this guy, who is also married, was trying to get her to meet him today. She said she wasn't going to do anything and avoid him, because she has too much guilt from what had happened already.
He texted her this morning, after we were up most of the night talking and crying. I sat there while she texted him that it was over and she couldn't do it, and continue, in less words.
She told me all of this, because pretty much all of the text messages were deleted. But she kept leaving things out till I asked specific questions, then something else would come out.
I looked on our cell phone bill online, and saw tons of text messages to his number, and a lot more pictures than she said she sent him.
She then said that she had resent some of the pictures from last week.
I don't know what to do, I don't really have anyone to talk to, as my friends wife's are her friends and I don't want this getting out.
Any advice would be awesome! | Wife of 9 years almost had an affair with another guy, going as far as sending nude pictures and making out with him, what do I do |
t3_13es63 | AskReddit | My mother's laziness and procrastination is hindering the family from "escaping" poverty. What do I do? | My family has been in a dire financial situation for a few years, and now it's at a very low point. We can't afford to pay bills, rent, buy groceries, etc. but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. If we get state/federal assistance, it should be more than enough to keep us stress-free.
- We're eligible for EBT/Food Stamps, which would vastly make things easier on us by a long shot. My mother refuses to even go online and look into getting assistance. She says that she shouldn't even bother because the state thinks my father pays alimony (when he doesn't), so her job + the alimony (or lack thereof) makes her ineligible because she earns too much.
- There's no proper "time" to confront her about what to do. When she comes home from work, she either "just came in", or it's too late, and she'll do it the next day. On weekends, she spends all day playing shovelware hidden object games, and she whines about how it's the weekend, and how it's the only time she can relax.
My older brother is extremely callous and mean about this, and gets on her about it whenever he can. I've recently tried doing so myself, but in a calm, almost passive tone, and she keeps sighing and yelling, saying that I'm "harping on her" and how I'm "putting her down". This is making me get so stressed. I want to pull my hair out. -_ | My family is broke, and we could easily be comfortable if we got state/federal assistance. However, my mom is incredibly lazy, and procrastinating for no reason. |
t3_1kz9qs | AskReddit | What's the best way to convince an owner of an abandoned building to let me preserve/restore a classic ad on the side of it? | There was a restaurant in my hometown that had been around for over 70 years, but it closed a year ago and has not been reopened. At this point it's looking like it never will.
Hanging on the side of the building is a big board with an early 1960s Pepsi ad on it. Below the Pepsi ad is the 1960s menu of this place. My father remembers it being there when he was young, and I love looking at it.
Unfortunately with the building being closed I'm scared they will end up painting over it or letting it fade away. I would love to save this wonderful piece of history, or even restore it for them if they won't let me save it.
My question is, how can I convince the owner of this now-abandoned building to let me preserve this sign? I'm willing to take it off the building and paint behind it, and even give it back to them if they ever wish to reopen the restaurant. I also have connections with the historical museum in town, but I don't think they're too interested in it.
What can I do? | There's an old sign hanging on an abandoned building that I want to save before it's destroyed. How can I convince the building owner to let me save it? |
t3_19eddj | GetMotivated | Question: How do I feel PSYCHED about the work required for long term goals? | How does one feel psyched about long term goals? I am motivated about having certain goals REALIZED in my life - but how does one get motivated about DOING THE ACTUAL WORK that these long term goals require?
Example - you want to be extremely fit, but how do you translate the keenness for the outcome into day-to-day desire to exercise?
Example - you want to have a successful business, but how do you translate that keenness for the outcome into day-to-day desire to sit and do the required work day after day after day?
I mean - how can I feel an intense level of emotion for doing the work required when the payoff is extremely far into the future? And how do I feel a sense of accomplishment about the day-to-day progress when the goal hasn't actually been reached?
What role does reward play in your motivation strategy? How often and with what do I reward myself? Especially since any reward is not really bringing me forwards towards my goal...
Your thoughts? Appreciated. | How do you transition from a keenness for the realization of long term goals to a high level of emotional engagement with miniscule day-to-day progress? |
t3_51drgs | relationships | I [21F] finally got an opportunity to have a job I love but my co-workers are making me hate my job. | To sum things up I've always wanted to work in veterinary medicine, after working really hard, taking a bunch of other vet programs and gaining experience in various sittings and types of work in the field I am now working my way up to become a specialized registered veterinary technician.
About 4 months ago I scored a pretty sweet job in a specialized vet practice, I'm still working on my career as a specialized tech rather than a small practice tech but any and all experience helps, especially specialized. The issue I have is that my co-workers keep telling me to choose another job and it's not too late to switch careers.
I get it, they keep reminding me about wage and hours and benefits and workload, I'm well aware techs are very overworked and underpaid but I've always wanted to work/do work with animals so I'm willing to take the cons with the pros. Since joining the field I haven't dreaded going to work once, sure some days suck but I'm still learning a lot.
I'm getting sick of the two main techs I work with constantly telling me it's a terrible field and the pay sucks and I'm going to hate it too and I'm going to burn out. They're favourite line is "you're really smart just become a nurse, you'll make way more an hour". It's true but I don't want to be a nurse.
I've talked to them and my bosses and my other co-workers and all of them say I'm really smart and it's really obvious I want to be doing this and they're always impressed at how quick I learn so it's not like they're indirectly telling me I'm a shitty tech.
How do I get them to let up, I do fight back and say it's what I want they always say "your making a mistake, look at us, 35 and 50-someting and still in a practice". They're honestly making me hate my job because I have to deal with them on a daily basis. | Worked really hard to get a job I love, co-workers keep telling me I'm making a huge mistake choosing said job and should choose a different career path that makes more an hour. |
t3_2edn9w | relationships | Ex [16F] broke up with me [17M] last month and I don't know how to feel or what to do. | We dated for 5 months, she was basically my first real relationship and my first love. I feel so sad and upset. School has just started and I have to see her every single day. I have my last two classes with her too. I try not to make it awkward but I just see her and instantly think about her. I want her back so bad and I just think about about all the memories we made and all the good times and that makes me even more sad. But I don't show it, I act like everything is ok.
She never gave me a reason when she broke up with me, we dated for 5 months, and she basically came over to my house, proceeded throughout the day like nothing was wrong then broke down and started crying and told me she wanted to end it. The worst part was she had been thinking about doing it for an entire month but didn't have the courage, so I was lead on and that hurts the worst. I texted her the other day asking her why she broke up with me cause she never said why, she said I was a bit too romantic to her and that I was more serious about the relationship than she was about it.
I was her first real relationship too. I told her I loved her and she loved me back. I have never felt that way about someone before, and it sucked cause during that month she wanted to end it, I felt so unwanted by her.
I'm so lost. Last week I met some girl and had sex with her and lost my virginity and it did not make me feel better at all. I did not care about this girl what so ever, and I kind of regret it.
How do I go on? What do I do.. | Ex broke up with me, I still love her, I lost my virginity to some random girl and I regret it, what do I do.. |
t3_1mzcf6 | dogs | Took my buddy Mulder to the vet for what seemed like routine lancing of an abscess and now...bone infection. Does anyone have experience with this? | Mulder, my 6-year-old Corgi mix, had what we thought was an abscess on his toe--third digit on right paw--and was going in for a very simple lancing/draining. After the pre-anaesthesia bloodwork came back normal--which it shouldn't have, for an abscess--the vet decided to do an x ray to make sure it wasn't a broken toe healing weirdly.
What he found was a mass of bone spur, possibly related to a bone infection, which he can't treat with the facilities he has. He is referring me to Affiliated Veterinary Specialists in Maitland, FL, which, after some light internet research, I don't know if I totally trust.
I am not a terribly wealthy lady, and I am very nervous about going in to a medical consult with no knowledge of what I might be looking at, as I have had vets try to scam me into unnecessary procedures in the past. At the same time, I want to do everything for Mulder that I possibly can. I got him as an adult through a shelter, so I have very limited medical history on him.
So I guess the | is: has anyone has any experience with this kind of infection? Do you have any reading materials or resources you would recommend? Anything at all would be very much appreciated. |
t3_3r20uz | relationships | I[18f] broke up with my boyfriend [19m] of almost 3 years about a month ago. Having a hard time being with another person because of guilt. | As the title states, I was with my boyfriend, Allen, for 3 years. We were 100% in love, but after leaving for college I realized I couldn't deal with the distance,which was considerable, and I possibly wanted to see other people. Breaking up with him was one of the worst things I've had to do, but I knew that it was for the best.
After breaking up I met John. I didn't expect to find anyone I really wanted to pursue so soon. It's only been a month, and I've become involved with John and I like him quite a bit. I know I'm not in a relationship anymore, but I feel like I'm cheating on Allen sometimes. I feel a little guilty being with someone else. John makes me really happy, but sometimes I feel like I've betrayed Allen for some weird reason. Is it normal to have feelings for someone this early after such a long relationship fails? Is it normal to feel guilty being happy? | is dating a month after a 3 year relationship too soon to be dating? Is feeling guilty normal after being in a long relationship and pursuing someone new? |
t3_rzciw | AskReddit | what's "that story" that will be told at your funeral that you will always be remembered for? | what is that one story that made you "famous"?
mine:
I was about 9 years old and riding in the very back of my aunts van with my two cousins in the seat in front of me (they were about 13 and 11) and my aunt was driving. we were on the highway and everything was fine, then all of the sudden the van cuts off and we begin to slow down, eventually coming to a stop on the side of the high way. well me, being the very paranoid and panic prone child i was began to freak out. i began fidgeting in my seat as my aunt attempted to restart the van and after her 3rd attempt failed i unbuckled my seat belt and crouched next to the door. in my young mind i was SURE that if she kept trying to crank the van it surely would explode and i wasnt about to be caught in the explosion. she kept trying and i kept my hand on the door ready to flee at the first spark. well this continued for a while and my back began to hurt from the awkward position i had put myself in. she finally gave up trying to start the van and started calling family for help. i, however, did not give up my escape posture. (i should mention by now everyone had noticed what i was doing and had already laughed it off as one of my frequent paranoid moments) i had been standing in this position for at least 10 minutes and my family had been dead silent for quite a while also. well, being the idiot i was at the time, said "pammy... my back hurts." then all at once my cousins and aunt said "well sit down!" i sat down and my aunt tried to crank the van once more, it finally started and we got on our way.
i will never live down that famous one line. just yesterday my aunt (the same one) was taking me home after babysitting her youngest children and i was telling her about how i had pulled a muscle in my chest and i called my mom "mom, my chest hurts, i need to go to the hospital." she laughed and said "pammy! my back hurts!" its been 8 years and im still reminded >.< | stated the obvious when i was 9, constantly reminded of my humorous one liner, ive been assured the story will be told at my funeral. |
t3_4aooz9 | relationship_advice | [25m] my girlfriend [21f] is meeting another guy | I don't want to be paranoid... and after being cheated on in the past and getting a bit clingy I desperately don't want to do that again, but my gf has gone to meet a friend. This friend is a guy who asked her for her number while she was working. She told me about it and said that she said "no" to him and that she "has a boyfriend who she lives with". She saw him again a few days later and apologised saying that she'd been rude and they added each other on Facebook. He asked her to meet up for coffee and she accepted and they're off to meet now. Is this... normal? Fine? I've lost all perception on that as like I said, I've been cheated on and it made me really clingy. I like to think I've improved a lot since then, so try not to talk too much about things like this. I just thought it was a bit odd, if some girl asked me for my number when I was at work I would say no because I'm taken and I certainly wouldn't then apologise for being "rude" and add them on Facebook and accept their invitation for coffee... but again, idk what's normal. I have social anxiety disorder and don't like doing much anyway, so idk if me saying I wouldn't have accepted it is normal or just me being me and avoiding social situations haha. | someone asked my girlfriend for her number, she said no, then apologised and added them on facebook, they asked her out for coffee, she accepted and is now meeting with them, is that a normal thing to do? |
t3_3i9u63 | relationships | My [18F] parents [47F] [47M] told me they won't care about me if I don't go to university next year | This is my senior year of HS and I'm not sure what I want to study later. I have to apply in October, and even though I will apply I'm not sure if I'll go through with any of it just yet. I think post secondary is a huge time/money/effort investment and I want to take my time. I said that if I happen to make my mind up this year, that's cool. But if I do not then I'll take a year off where I work and think about it. I do want to go to school later, but at this point - I'm not ready at all. All I'm asking for is a year?
My parents basically said that they do not support that decision and if I go through with it they want nothing to do with me. My sister just graduated and she has no job yet they financially support her, but I can't get a year where I work before going to school? I never asked for money or anything. They think this would be a "huge" waste of my time. Is what I want to do that unreasonable? | parents said they'll "disown" me if I don't go to college right away. I'm not ready. What do I do? |
t3_19jhht | relationships | Is it normal for my boyfriend[28/m] to never initiate affection? [22/F] | We've been together about a year and a half. He's the first person I've ever dated that called me needy. I have a high sex drive and I love affection. But after awhile I realized I pretty much had to force him to kiss me. After talking to him about this, he said it was because I was so needy (as far as affection goes) that he never got the chance. So I devised an experiment.
We're used to seeing each other everyday because we broke the co-worker rule. We used to spend the night with each other about half the week but he got a new place so it's gotten a bit more sparse. But I still see him five days a week at work. I typically give him a kiss when I leave and maybe when I get in but for the past week, I have not initiated a kiss once. And lo and behold, I get no kisses.
He used to be more affectionate at the beginning of our relationship but it's been a slow decline I've been fighting. I don't know how to let him know it's the last straw. I need affection in a relationship, and not just one sided. And lately his selfishness has been pouring into our (growingly minimal) sexlife as well. He won't even eat me out when I ask him to. He's slacking emotionally too. When he's feeling down, he wants and expects sympathy, but when I'm in the same spot, he basically tells me to suck it up. Sometimes he'll even try to make it out like my life is a breeze and the world is out to get him (it's not). The comparison game *really* irritates me. And I know that could have something to do with his occasional depression, but really. There's only so many excuses I can make for someone.
I don't know if he's feeling the drifting or if he doesn't realize he's emotionally neglecting me. But honestly, I can't take much more. I either need affection, or we need to be done. I've tried talking to him many times and he'll get better for a day but it'll go back to the same old bs. What to do reddit? | If I want our relationship to have any physical contact, I have to initiate....and I'm nearing the end of my patience. |
t3_3lplq5 | relationships | Insecure about my (23M) gf's (23F) attraction to men in uniform and the political attitudes that come from that | I've been with my gf for about 4.5 years. When I met her, she was interested in the ROTC, but eventually lost interest. We went on dating for about 3.5 years and things were good with some rocky moments at parts. We have a lot in common, pretty similar opinions and left-leaning political backgrounds, we have fun together very easily, and we love eachother.
In the past year, she has become very serious about becoming a police officer. I support her in this, but we've gotten in some fights about what we think about police violence in this country and some other of the negative aspects of the field. She feels that I'm not supporting her if I'm critical of certain police actions or policies. The fights we've had have gotten worse, and IMO, her political opinions have shifted further right in the past year. I am also now very aware now of how attracted she is to men in uniform (police and military). I'm just a student at the moment, and I guess I just feel very insecure about how she may think I haven't done a brave or honorable thing like some of the men she's attracted to. Coupled with this, she is becoming further and further involved with groups that typically have conservative mindsets. I just feel that it has become very hard for us to relate to each other anymore. This is the weakest our relationship has been, and I almost feel that maybe we aren't right for each other.
That being said, I still love her, and losing our close connection would definitely break my heart.
I feel like such a jerk for attaching any sort of negative connotation to the career she so badly wants, but I'm having a hard time ignoring these differences in opinions that we have about things.
Am i being completely unreasonable? Are these differences something that can be worked through? What can I do to feel less insecure? | Gf and I have a serious wedge in the relationship based on political opinions, and I feel completely insecure about her attraction to men in uniform compared to my relative accomplishments as a student |
t3_23wpnp | relationships | I am a 22M who has been casually dating a 21M for ~1month, he recently told me about his struggle with depression and I don't know what to do | Hey, I am new to reddit and just joined in order to get some advice on a situation that I have been going through lately.
About a month ago I went on a date with someone who I met online. We met for coffee and it went fantastically, we both seemed enthusiastic about seeing each other more, and it turned into us seeing each other quite regularly. We have been doing typical date like things, but also have been hooking up as well (I would say 50/50). Anyways, I am moving about 2 hours away, but felt like the connection we have is too good to let die. We met yesterday to talk it over and he revealed that he has some pretty intense depression, and feels as if he can't give me what I need. It was just really sad to hear because a) the depression isn't something that scares me away in any way and b) the things he was listing that were negative about himself I see as positives. I dunno if I should just give it up , or wait it out for him to come out to the other side of the stuff he is currently going through.
I will leave it at that for now, and see where this conversation goes and fill in the blanks if people have questions | my casual partner doesn't think he is good enough for me, because of his depression, and I think that he is great for me and am not scared by mental illness |
t3_34j45b | relationships | Me [25F] bad case of unrequited love with my [27M] friend 'with benefits'. | I have been seeing this guy on and off for years now, it started in my first year of Uni then it stopped for a few years while I had a boyfriend. Recently we have been meeting up again and I have had a sobering realisation; I am totally in love with him.
When we hang out together everything feels so right, I feel like I want to look after this man, the conversation is stimulating and the sex is great. I feel like a better me around him. However he has told me on multiple occasions he does not want another relationship ever again.
So some back history his first long term girlfriend cheated on him multiple times and really broke down his confidence, his second long term girlfriend was extremely frigid in bed and they had a terrible sex life. Now since he is a single, smart, attractive and a little arrogant he just sleeps with multiple women and says he "he doesn't want to feel responsible for anyone" or "anyone to feel responsible for him." Last night when I further queried him on this he jokingly said "when you have a partner you can't go fight a dinosaur... they would stop you and I want to be able to do what I want." He has also told me that when any of his other 'women' ask him to be in a relationship he immediate distances himself then cuts contact. I want to talk to him about this but I am terrified of losing what I already have. Being with him occasionally is better than not at all. Also I'm not stupid I understand he is probably treating all his other lady friends the same as me. I just feel if I could somehow show him that I'm not a cheat, (he knows I'm not frigid) and would fight a ton of dinosaurs if he requested he might change his mind. | In love with my friend with benefits, he doesn't want a relationship, is there a way to change his mind or should I just leave things be or walk away? |
t3_452wee | relationships | Struggling (30sF) with husband's (30sM) ADHD and impulse control | Most of the time, my husband of one year is wonderful: he's loving, engaging, super successful and everything you could want in a partner. However, he's had ADHD since he was a kid, and struggles with poor impulse control. Most of the time, this is harmless-- like ordering something impractical online-- but it's worse when he drinks.
He rarely drinks at home, and when out, stays within reasonable limits over 90% of the the time. It's that >10% that is causing real issues. A couple months ago, it was over the line flirting with a coworker; this week, it was driving drunk at 3 am. We live in a country without much in the way of drunk driving enforcement, but I'm furious about it-- just because you're unlikely to get caught doesn't mean you won't kill someone!
He always feels terrible about his actions the next day, but I'm losing patience-- I have to be able to trust him. Therapy/mental health resources are extremely limited in our country, and he's on an ADHD drug that's proving a poor substitute for his regular medication. Aside from trying to find a therapist who will conduct couples therapy over Skype and, longer term, trying to negotiate a move back to the global north, has anyone else had similar experiences? I'm assuming that the medication change is playing a role as this wasn't an issue before the move, but I worry that deeper respect issues are at play as well. I'm a bit isolated here (no close friends or family live nearby) and would very much appreciate advice/second opinions. | For redditors with partners who have ADHD or issues controlling their impulses, especially after drinking: what worked? Any strategies to try? Anything to avoid? |
t3_216liu | relationships | I [22/M] found naked pictures of my girlfriend [21/F] on Reddit, unsure what to do and need some perspective. | I was at my girlfriend's apartment yesterday waiting for her to be ready to go out to dinner. She said she was going to go take a shower and I could check Facebook/email/whatever on her laptop while she did so.
Internet was already open on the laptop and there were a lot of tabs open, one of which was Reddit so I went and clicked on that one. It was logged into a throwaway account so being curious I clicked on the username. I found that she had posted to several GW-like subs, with posts dating to the beginning of our relationship (which is a year and a half long now) to the last couple of days. They weren't extremely explicit photos, but were pictures of her naked breasts, butt, or her in her underwear. This bothered me greatly because first of all, all of this was done without my knowledge. And also, it just makes me feel so weird to know that other guys out there are looking at my girlfriend's naked body. So then I clicked onto her messages, found a lot of guys sending her all kinds of creepy PMs telling her what they want to do to her, etc. From what I could tell she didn't reply to any of these.
So I confronted her about it after dinner. I told her how it made me feel that she was putting naked pictures of herself on the internet, allowing other guys to see her naked and not telling me about it. She apologized, said that it was wrong of her not to tell me, but it is her own body and she's not cheating on me or anything. We talked about it for a while, and ultimately didn't really come to a conclusion on it. Ideally I would like for her to stop doing this. But she believes that she should be able to do what she wants with her body so long as she is not physically cheating on me with these guys or even talking to them at all. I've never been in this kind of situation before and I don't really know what to do. I need advice either on how to convince her to stop doing it, or how to just be okay with it because is she really doing anything wrong? Thoughts? | Girlfriend of 1.5 years has posted naked pictures of herself on internet. Upon confrontation was apologetic but says it's her body and she can do what she wants. Not sure what to do from here. |
t3_2o3azl | relationships | So I [18M] met her [18F] recently and we started chatting. How to get further? | Hey, newbie here!
I met her few weeks ago, but we started chatting just recently. She's really cute and apparently we have a lot in common. She likes a lot of things I do etc. She looks like she's quite into me, but she's a little bit introvert, I'd say. But that's not as important.
My problem is related to dating. What should I do next? Where should I go with her with low-to-zero budged? I've never been out with her (anybody, tbh) yet, but I'd like to start doing so. What should I do/say to keep her interested?
My low self-esteem (basically looks) might be a problem, but whatever, I don't want to think like that anymore. Let's change something, right? :)
Anyway, thanks! | We started chatting recently and I'd like to know what to do with her now and where should I go with her with low-to-zero budget and keep her interested. |
t3_2fn9ve | relationships | I don't know what to do... I feel like I'm trapped. | I'm 30, married for 6 years, have a 1.5 year old with another kid on the way.
I can tell I'm just becoming miserable with life... I'm angrier quicker, stressed out and not performing well at work. I dread coming home and I feel like I'm living with my mom.
"Don't stay up past 10."
"Are you coming to bed now?"
"Come to bed!"
I'm a zombie in the morning, I've had my blood work done and everything seems fine... I think I'm just depressed and don't want to face the day.
My life seems to be planned out for me by my spouse. I don't feel like I'm a good dad and I can't tell... There just doesn't seem like anything that is making me super happy right now.
I've heard that if you have kids that your ups are better and your downs are worse. But it just feels like my ups never bring me back to even or greater. I feel like I'm spiralling....
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to get a divorce because I'm committed to my child(ren) and wife. I just feel like I'm experiencing all of the crappy emotions without really getting the good ones. :( | I'm a married guy with kids who isn't happy but doesn't want to get a divorce... How can I make this better? |
t3_2du4va | tifu | TIFU by thinking a cat was a ghost | There I am, sitting not being able to sleep, so I get on the computer. Then, the door behind me opens. Keep in mind it's very dark. The door OPENS, and when I look, NOTHING is there but two yellow eyes. We look at eachother. They keyboard, that was on my lap, is thrown to the ground, and I jump high and fly through the air like the sun god apallo while the yellow eyes run away, screaming like a fucking girl. I carefully walk up to the door, cardboard box in hand, (what the fuck was I planning to do with it?) and dropped it.
It was my grandmothers cat. He nudged the door open! Nobody woke up and I was fine, but that scared me. The cat was fine though, he's still the fluffy cutness cat that we love. | cat nudged open the door, I think he's a ghost, and jump and fly through the air like the sun god appallo |
t3_rruhd | AskReddit | Who is the best neighbor you've ever had, and why? | Well, mine will seem pretty far fetched, but I can honestly say it is all true. My neighbors are assholes, all of them. They constantly mess with my family, or have made no effort to talk to us. In the rental house across the street, there had always been a lot of scumbags that lived there. These people didn't bother to clean their yard, they were loud, and just overall unpleasant. Then one day, they moved out. Shortly there after we saw a moving truck, and we saw this extremely pretty blonde girl unpacking boxes. My dad and I said hi, and we talked to her for a bit. She told us she was a model and that her name was Rachel. After this, we never really talked to her a lot other than the occasional hello or chit chat. A year or so went by and we still knew nothing about her. Until one of my dads friends came over and noticed her outside. He immediately knew who she was just from first sight, which was a little strange. But, we still were not quite sure until a friend of ours came over who worked at a Lexus dealership. He smiled and waved at her, and knew her by name. We asked him if she knew what she did for a living, and he said she was a pornstar. He serviced her Lexus regularly and knew her quite well. We laughed it off, and made sure not to tell my mom that she was a pornstar or else she'd freak out for no reason. So for years she would disappear for weeks and come back looking like hell. But she always was friendly, and always had lawn care services take care of her yard while she was away. Then when we came back from vacation, we saw that she had moved. We were actually depressed by this, because she had always been nice to everybody. She had apparently built a house with her boyfriend or fiance (I don't know what he was to her) and we never heard from her again. Last we heard of her was from the whole Charlie Sheen drama. | I used to live by Bree Olson, a pornstar. She kept her yard nice and was always friendly to us. |
t3_12kx0o | relationships | My Girlfriend's (F21) refusal to go past kissing is starting to put a strain on our relationship. | My girlfriend and I (M21) have been dating for a little over 3 weeks now. She's great and I really enjoy spending time with her. I'm also very sexually attracted to her but we don't go beyond kissing. She's pretty religious and is saving herself for marriage. The problem is that we rarely get intimate beyond kissing/making out (without tongue) and it is starting to bother me. My last SO was similar in that she didn't want to have sex but we would do other things instead. With my new girlfriend, we just hang out and kiss. She doesn't even stay the night. I really like her but its starting to bother me that she doesn't even consider doing anything beyond that. She let me know that she didn't do anything with her last boyfriend, but its like she has no inclination to get intimate on any other level. Its also hard to talk about this with her because I feel she will take it the wrong way. I liked her a lot when we first started dating but lately its been hard to get excited seeing her now. What should I do? Thanks! | My girlfriend won't have sex with me or do anything else beyond kissing and it's starting to ruin the relationship for me. |
t3_qrqlr | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your best "I got to SEE them get their Karma" story? I'll go first... | I was driving home with my daughter and I see a wild male teenage derp in a nice VW Golf. He was weaving back and forth like a race car driver trying to warm up his tires. It was 2 pm on a monday, and the roads were fairly busy. This behavior catches my attention and I point him out to my daughter "Look over yonder rawrslette, that is a wild teenage boy, about to do something stupid."
We watch as he decides that entering the highway behind 3 other vehicles is going to take too long. He swerves into the carpool lane (teenage derp is the only one in the car) and accelearates down the tight curve toward the highway. I dislike bad drivers, and have often wished I would watch them reap their karma and never do, but suddenly I see a cloud of dust as his rear tire hits gravel on the edge of the roadway. He starts to slide, freaks the fuck out (slides right, slides left), and manages to end up smashing the nose of the Golf into the concrete barrier, which saved him and his car from entering the highway in an orthogonal-to-traffic fashion.
His car was the only one damaged, even though he endangered at least 4 other vehichles on the onramp. He walked away from the accident without an (obvious) injury, but his nice VW now had a missing bumper, a crunched hood that would not longer open, and few other problems. I felt oddly gratified knowing that the wild male teenage derp had "learned his lesson" through the universe's karma. I hope he realizes it could have been much worse for alot more people and I hope he has a small change of heart on the road from that day on.
Btw, I also earned mega-awsesome phsychic dad status from rawrslette!
So reddit, whats your "I got to see them get their Karma!" story? Bad AND Good! | Bad teenage driver gets life lesson by wrecking right in front of me. His car was the only one damaged. |
t3_1s861t | relationships | Me[16] and this girl[17] are in a sort of long distance relationship for 7 months, but I'm losing hope for us. | She moved away and when she did, I started talking to her. I began to like her a lot and eventually we admitted to both liking each other and one thing led to another and we both said the I love you's later on.
In our relationship, there have been two breaks in it, once when she got kissed by this guy, and the second when she started to think it would never work out with us. However, both times we fell back into our old habits.
During the second time we split, I tried to change her mind and convince her we could work, but she wouldn't have any of it. But then, when she told me she changed her mind and liked me, I was already feeling a little distant because of all of this and she used the same things I had told her to try and convince her to keep trying with us.
So here we are now, a month after all this, and we are pretty much the same as when we were a thing, except she has been more loving honestly than I have. I still love her, but I don't show it as much.
I really do like her a lot, but I feel more and more that it might not work, and now there is this girl who seems interested, but I don't know what to do now. This girl would probably not turn into a serious relationship or really any actual relationship at all, but nonetheless, she lives here and not away from me.
What do you guys think I should do? She wants to go here for college and she may move back to a city an hour or so away from me next year, so there is a sliver of hope for us, but I'm uncertain of what the future will hold for us. | Long distance relationship, chance she might move back with her family or for college, feeling like there may be no future for us because of the distance. |
t3_2svzhm | relationships | Me [20 m] with my (50 something?) step mother, won't stop sending me religious texts or trying to convert m | Hey reddit, I need your advice/help. my step mother has been continually sending me religious texts, and attempting to convert me away from atheism. Her attempts, I find, are very rude and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how to go about asking her to stop without pissing off her or my father. It is getting to the point where I want to block her number, but I feel that is too extreme and/or a serious last resort. help please! | step mother won't stop sending religious texts or trying to convert me, please advise me on how to get her to stop! |
t3_27bkj3 | cats | Introducing a new kitten to a family of two? | Hello. As stated in the title, I'm looking to get a new kitten, but I'm not sure how my current cats will react. We have an around 6 year old cat named Suzie, whom we got around 4 years ago. Last May (now just over a year old), I got my own kitten named Toulouse. Toulouse doesn't mind Suzie much, but Suzie doesn't like Toulouse and meows and hisses at him.
Our neighborhood has a lot of cats in it. My neighbors alone have around 10 (I got Toulouse from them). One of their cats recently had kittens and I brought one to my house to show my niece and just to pet. I showed Toulouse the kitten to see how he would react, and he didn't seem to be bothered by the kitten.
That being said, my sister's cat (Toulouse's sister) is pregnant, and I was thinking of getting one of her kittens. It would be in around three or four months. Does this seem like a good idea? How do I introduce the new kitten to my cats? | I have two cats. I'm thinking of getting a new kitten. Does that seem like a good idea? How do I go about introducing them? |
t3_2lx4dv | relationships | Me [27M] dated [27F] sudden "youre too nice" break up | Me 27M dated a 27F for 8 weeks. She ended a 6yr+ LTR approx. 9 months ago, dated one (WEALTHY****) guy who didn't pay much attention to her in between(3 dates in 3 months), met me 3 weeks after "ending" it with him (not sure what that means). We dated for a few saw each other at least once a week. Physically and mentally intimate. Seemed to share a lot about each other's personal life/history together. Both commented on the feeling of being connected. I was thoughtful/generous/attentive. Thought coming out of a dating situation where she was ignored I'd show her she was important, that I was not like her past. See her one night, physically intimate. Wake up next morning, kiss goodbye, I get cheek. Text her a few hours later, she put treats in my lunch bag. Text her thank you shes so sweet. Honest about a friend (PLATONIC) who texted me who wanted to hang out but I haven't seen her since me and this girl started dating (I think she saw the text so I just addressed it, said I wanted to be open and honest, because I am. I think she saw the text "doing anything this weekend"). What follows is "you should date others". Text few days later, "you did nothing wrong, I don't see this going further". NC since.
I'm confused. Think wealthy dude came back. Everything changed within 7 hours. I was kind of into her. Felt like there was potential. Not broken up about it, just confused. Maybe I was a rebound? Used for sex? If she contacts me, should I respond? If I thought she was special, any ways to salvage? NC for 3 weeks so far.
Girls - Is being a nice guys (genuinely) a bad thing? I like making whoever I date feel valued/special. I'm romantic. Am I really supposed to ignore and play the "game". | 27M dated 27F for 8 weeks. Thought it was going somewhere, ended VERY suddenly. Did the rich dude show her attention? Can friends talk their girlfriends our of relationships? |
t3_tbxvu | AskReddit | Dear reddit, I am a 20 year old college student and the only thing I want in the world is a dog to love. Is this as bad of an idea as everyone else makes it out to be? | I live in a small house with a decent sized yard. I don't go out and party often and I am an English major so I spend most of my time in my room reading. Everyone keeps telling me that this is a responsibility and commitment that I don't want right now. My mom insists that I don't have enough time and don' t know what I am getting myself into. I don't see it that way and I know I will love and take care of a puppy as good, and maybe better, than anyone. Any personal puppy stories would be appreciated. | I am not sure about getting a puppy, does anyone have experience having a puppy in college to persuade me either way. |
t3_vcv2x | relationships | Need some advice | Me (20/m) and a friend(18/f) have been friends for about 3 years, it started out sexually but we ended it pretty quickly then since none of us wanted a real relationship.
We then continued to be friend and grown really close, close enough that she knows more about me then guy friends.
Now to the problem in hand, we have been starting to get more into eachother and have had a sexual relationship for about 2-3 months now, she have been some days just wanted the sex but next day wanted me to meet her family etc so i got enough of it and want a clear line if were Friends with benefits or if she wanna go out officially as Bf/Gf.
I'm meeting here tomorrow and going to try tyalk to her about it then, how do I start such a conversation without trying to force her either way ? | friend and me went to sex buddies but it feels like she wanna go to BF/GF and i have no idea how to ask her. |
t3_4p3rgu | tifu | TIFU by trying to play doctor | During the weekend I had a very long binge session, so on Monday I wake up with a killer hangover. No biggie, just call in sick and have my sweet sleep for the day. At around lunchtime, I noticed some slight stomach discomfort, was feeling very lazy so I just bought some pain killers and went back to sleep.
Then I wake up at 8pm. Stomach ache had increased a bit. At this moment I have not eaten anything the whole day. Instead of going to see a real doctor, lazy me buys more painkillers and goes back to sleep.
Then at around midnight it happened. One sharp pang in my stomach that manages to wake me up. What is this?? These pangs keep coming every few minutes and I swear this is the worst pain I have ever had in my life. At this point I cant go to my hospital and broke ass me doesn't want to involve emergency services. I have already gone to the loo more than 20 times, its not helping.
Well, it's now 2am and I'm all sweaty and curled up in a fetal position, waiting for the day to start so that I can go to hospital and tell the doctor to please, "FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY, CUT IT OUT OF ME PLEASE!!!" FML | Tried to play doctor and buy painkillers instead of visiting a doctor for my stomach ache. Its 2am and I'm dying slowly of the pain and have to wait till morning to go to hospital. |
t3_3e2nwa | relationships | Boyfriend [26M] of 5 years surprised me [26F] by wanting to go on a break. Depressed and no idea what to do. | My boyfriend and I were living together for the last year. Then he decided he needed a break. We've had lots of ups and downs this year. But they were typical growing pains in my mind.
He's been unhappy with his life, so he moved in with his parents, quit his job, and does not have any intention of moving back with me. We were living in a small town really far away. Hence the break.
He wants time to be selfish and have space to figure himself out, start a new career, etc. And he is still bitter that we had to move so I could go to school. He says this isn't about other women and he could still see us together in the future.
I am at a loss for how to handle this. I am miserably sad that he doesnt want to be together. We can talk normally but every time I bring up our relationship he gets defensive and I get even more depressed. I had no idea this was coming and don't know how to cope. I dont know how long to wait before he is ready again. | bf in quarter life crisis and decides he needs a break. i am depressed and dont know how to cope/handle it. |
t3_1n1o7n | relationships | Me [34 M] broke up with GF [19 F] 2weeks, she called me manipulating | First, I know I know, 19? I'm an idiot. But I figured I would give it a try.
So after 2 weeks of being together, I call her during the evening and within 3 minutes shes looking to hang up. I get a little frustrated because I would like to know why, and she's flailing around any of my questions..
Next morning she doesn't text and has an excuse. I try to call later and she sounds like nothing I had ever heard before. Then for the next 30 or so hours she basically makes me chase her around with texts and calls. It feels like a game to me at this point so I'm starting to get mad. I let her know this is really difficult for me and that I am getting bummed out, etc.
Finally got her to talk a little about it, and she just vaguely calls me out as being manipulative. I'm pretty sure that getting the changed mood from her and me asking about it while being frustrated came across as upset, but to call that manipulating seems fucking childish to me.
Because it's a like a game to me, and I hate that shit, I called it off and described it as closure for me.
The breakup it's self isn't something I can't handle. But being called manipulative and not being able to trace it to a specific incident is killing me, I feel like I may be a monster and don't know it. | Cannot figure out why I am manipulative. Hating being called that, not because of ego, but because I cannot figure it out. |
t3_32ut6k | relationships | Me [26F] with my fiance [30 M] of 2 years are having a hard time getting intimate. | I want to hear from people that have a more lack-luster type of spouse/partner but still find ways to keep the sex constant.
I am currently in a relationship with someone who has no sensuality whatsoever and I am struggling to keep my sex drive. He has such a deep voice but is always baby talking me and sometimes does it while trying to turn me on and it's driving me nuts, that is just one example. I don't know how to tell him because I don't want him to feel embarrassed in a way. This is so hard to explain now that I am typing it out, so I hope you understand where I am coming from.
The lack of sex does not bother me at all because he fills me with so much joy and happiness that I don't even think about it... which is not ok and he has expressed that he wishes we had sex more often and would like me to approach him more since he feels like he is always the one seeking it out. I know I need to fix this issue sooner than later because I don't want to him to feel like I am not attracted to him. I really am! He is handsome and has a great body on top of a very loving personality.
So like I said, I'd like hear from anyone with any similar situations, anyone that has made progress in turning something like this around and so forth.
I didn't want to make this a long post, so if you would like more information please ask so I can help clarify anything if needed. | I would like to hear from people who are dating/married to someone who is awkward/bad at being intimate and how you turned it around. |
t3_2nru5f | relationships | Me [16F] with my mom [35F] and her fiancé [40M] 2 years, he broke up with her over her history of cheating | When I was little, my dad's job took him away a lot on short trips and apparently while he was away my mom cheated on him a lot. He found out and they got divorced. I didn't know why. Now, my mom is (was?) engaged to a man I really like and I was really excited about him and his sons (both older than me) joining the family. He has a no tolerance policy on cheating, and one of the men my mom cheated with told him about it. He called off the engagement and left. This was two days ago.
I'm not sure how to feel about this. My mom still feels justified in cheating on my dad "since he was away so much" but I don't get it. How can I forgive her for that? Should I?
And her fiancé, should I try to help them get back together or what? I get why he broke up with my mom, he has strong evidence of once a cheater always a cheater, hence the no tolerance policy. But I really want him and my mom to work out, he's really cool. Could that ever happen?
What going to happen after this? He's been living with us for a year. Do I just pretend he was never here and never see him again? What do I do, this is really confusing. | Mom cheated and caused her and my dad's divorce; her fiancé found out and called off the engagement. What to do now? |
t3_1q6zez | AskReddit | What can I do/say to stop a family member's spending on facebook games? | This story is, unfortunately, about my mother. I had to move back home to help support her (my father passed away back in 2001, so it's just her) after she was diagnosed with diabetes. I've kicked in for rent, buy my own food, and usually am down the road living with my girlfriend. I have NO qualms about helping her out financially. Her roof has a leak and has ruined part of our ceiling. Thankfully, a family friend is paying for it to be fixed, and she pays him back as she can.
The reason I tell you that part of the story is so you can understand the financial situation at hand. She's retired, but still teaching online courses for a local college. The income isn't great.
Anyways, she's been playing a facebook game pretty consistently for about three months now, Game of Thrones: Ascent. Usually every time I see her she's playing. I noticed, though, that she has 4 credit cards sitting on her computer desk every time. She shops a lot online, so I can understand that... plus, it's holiday season. I didn't think much of it at first, but then I started getting somewhat curious about why.
I admit it, I snooped on my own mother. I had to make sure she wasn't spending TOO much money on a game. I can understand $20 a month, hell that's usually my limit. When I searched payment history for this past month, it was $125. I went back to when she started playing, and it's totaled up to $675 in THREE MONTHS.
I have no idea how to approach her about this. I KNOW she doesn't have the luxury of spending that much money on games. Especially when I hear how I have to chip in more to make sure electricity is staying on, water keeps running, etc.
Reddit, what can I do here? What should I say? I'm lost here. | Mom is spending $220 a month on a facebook game, can't afford it. Worried about losing the house. Help. |
t3_2oy0g0 | relationships | I [M21] feeling jealous I think my gf [F21] had more sex than I did before we got together. How to get over this? | I've never asked her about her sex life before she met me.. Or even whether she slept with anyone before I asked her to be my girlfriend. I haven't had much sex before, really only 3 times before my current girlfriend (2 different girls).
I know there's nothing I can do about the past, and that it probably doesn't matter because things are really amazing and perfect between us.. But I have this probably unfounded worry that she's stayed in friendship contact with a guy(s) she's fucked. Most of the time I don't care, because I don't think she would cheat. But sometimes I get this urge to seem like I'm more experienced with sex than I actually am.
Most of the time I can brush this off and focus on the present. But there have been a couple times where I've just gone kind of quiet wondering if we think the same way about sex because we might be differently experienced. How should I think about this? | Sometimes I get worried wondering if we think the same way about sex because we might be differently experienced. How should I think about this? |
t3_2vedn2 | relationships | This girl [17F] has been in love with me [18M] for 2 months, and she doesn't know whether she wants to be with her boyfriend [20M] or me. | I've known this girl for a somewhat long time, she was in need of help due to depression and I decided to help her by being there for her, nothing more, I didn't think much of it. Sometimes I would joke around the fact that she told me stuff she should tell her bf instead, because that's what a relationship is for, but I didn't care.
Eventually she confessed her love to me, I was in shock, but it made me realise that deep inside I was also in love with her, we started having a secret relationship, but neither of us could withstand it. We both know it was a toxic relationship and she has to choose between her current boyfriend and I.
As of now, she decided to stay with her boyfriend, because she feels like it's too soon for things to end between them, and she doesn't know if things between us will last long enough. Now, I totally respect the decision, and even tho it hurts a lot inside, I can bear with it, but the problem is that she still didn't entirely decide. She still loves me, she tells me she loves me, and that she wants to be with me, and she wants to make me happy. But she also doesn't want to leave her boyfriend, because she's happy with him too. She's clueless, it's hurting her deep, and I have no clue what to do either. | Got in a secret relationship with a friend already in a relationship, she's equally in love with the boyfriend and I, and neither her and I have a clue what to do about it. What to do? |
t3_32kr2j | tifu | TIFU by losing weight- Update!!! | So, if you haven't already heard, [here] is my fuck up from yesterday.
So after all of this happened, I was fumbling to pull up my pants when the mother grabs her child and races to customer service. I follow, red-faced, and am mortified when the mother starts screaming at my manager. It went sort of like this:
"HEY! Your employee is exposing yourself to my CHILD! What kind of world do we live in where this is ACCEPTABLE! Her UNIFORM is obviously not in order, you shouldn't even ALLOW her to work here!!!" etc, etc, etc. Customers are staring, and I am absolutely horrified. The woman, her child, the manager, and myself are escorted to the LP (loss prevention) room where security takes place, and we are set there while my manager grabs LP.
As you know, I posted the fuck up at this moment in time, and the woman has stopped screaming, but is murmuring to her child that I'm going to hell and she's going to sue for serious psychological damage. Security comes in, the woman starts screaming, security tries to calm her down, she gets pissed, but eventually everything settles. She tells her side of the story, which, as you can imagine, is completely different than my side, which I tell next. Security reviews the footage, the mother claims we doctored the footage, we give her the security boss's number, and I got to go back to work once I had a belt. | Woman's child tries to fireman me, lose my pants, mother catches my booty rockin', get free belt. |
t3_2mg9sb | offmychest | I absolutely despise being heavily introverted | I don't think I'm a shy person but have been described as shy by almost everyone who's used a word to describe me. I don't want to be shy, but that seems to be who I am. I've always been this way. . everyone from primary (elementary for yall muricans) school remembers me as being really quiet. This is completely different to being 'antisocial'- in fact, I was always a pretty popular kid in school, but was always known for being quiet.
It's a part of who I am and has probably shaped me in many positive ways, and despite all that, I wish I was born extroverted. I have a very limited social life. . not because I'm antisocial but because I just find very few people interesting enough to talk to. I'm very bad at being interested in people or things I'm not interested in. Most of the time, I simply prefer staying home but I wish that wasn't the case. I feel lonely a lot of the time, and yet I can't muster the energy to be more social. I've put in a lot of effort in the past in to being more 'extroverted' but I inevitably end up back in my introverted shell. I don't know if anyone can relate, but it doesn't seem to be something I can just change about myself. Yes, I can improve my social life with a lot of effort, but ultimately I'll never be as socially adequate as an extrovert who can draw energy from social situations, as opposed to being sapped by them and in the end putting effort in to being something I'm not just seems to make me even less happy- but at the same time, I wish it did make me happy. | This might be a case of 'the grass is always greener on the other side' but I really despise being a heavy introvert, and would much rather be extroverted or perhaps, a more mild introvert. |
t3_13vha3 | self | What are ways you've unintentionally humiliated someone? | My dad used to be a lecturer at a local University here (teaching law), I would often come by his office to use his computer and muck around on the internet (This is before everyone had internet). I was a young lad and naturally stumbled across porn while using his office PC - yes, I looked at porn in his fucking office. It was a neopets wallpaper of a sexy fairy (Think HENTAI) and in an effort to make the image bigger I set it as the wallpaper. I freaked out, figured out how to change the wallpaper again (Changed it to a dolphin) and left it at that.
That day after my dads lecture I booted up his PC and saw the dolphin wallpaper for a few seconds until the PC finished booting and a picture of Autumn trees loaded up as the wallpaper.
I felt so ashamed when I realised this meant the fairy porn would have flashed in front of the entire lecture theatre on his projector that day because I KNEW he had a presentation that day. | Changed dad's wallpaper to a naked fairy shortly before he made a presentation to law students in a very sizeable lecture theatre. |
t3_473ype | relationships | My [24 M] girlfriend [22 F] of almost a year, won't let me see good friend I've had sex with. | I have an amazing girlfriend (Call her Bianca) of almost a year, but she has trust issues and is insecure. I want to visit a good friend out of state who I've known for about 2 years, (call her Amanda) whom I've been flat mates with and have been intimate with a few times. We didn't pursue anything beyond a physical relationship, though I've told my girlfriend she probably wanted more at the time (She had a crush on me, nothing serious, we never talked about it, but I could sense it). More reason to make my girlfriend feel she might lose me or that I will cheat. Bianca (gf) and I have briefly talked about the matter, and it seems she will allow no more than contact via text messages. Bianca has no interest in meeting Amanda (friend), because she feels it will be awkward for herself. Amanda and I would definitely like to see each other again, because we value each other's friendship.
*the last time I saw Amanda was a couple of months before meeting Bianca. We didn't make advancements towards each other, and my reason for my behavior was that I didn't want to lead Amanda on. I've explained this to Bianca. I'm almost positive I could have had sex with Amanda, but I chose not to.
I am also not allowed to speak with any girls I've had sex with.
Three Questions:
1) Am I forced to choose between my girlfriend, and maintaining an actual friendship with Amanda?
2) Is Bianca (gf) being controlling or unreasonable?
3) Is this a healthy relationship and something we can work through somehow? | Girlfriend won't allow to see a good friend of opposite sex who I've been intimate with, due to trust/insecurity issues. Can I fix this? |
t3_3923ee | relationships | Having trouble getting guy I'm interested in [20M] to hangout with me? | I [18F] am fairly younger than him [20M], but there's this guy that I'm really into. We've been talking for around 6 months and used to go out all of the time together; restaurants, movies, shopping, etc. We've both made it clear that we're not looking for a relationship, but I still enjoy his company and having casual sex every once and awhile.
Lately, whenever I try to initiate getting together, he acts very distant and seems uninterested. We only talk through Facebook Messenger (he doesn't have a cellphone) and usually every time I send him a message, he views it and doesn't reply.
This really gets me down, because I look forward to seeing him and having fun together. A few weeks ago after being fed up with being ignored, I sent him a big message saying "if you ever get sick of me and want me to stop making advances towards you, please just let me know". All he said back was "okay".
So, Reddit, is this guy even worth the time anymore? We have a good time when we're hanging out, but getting him to agree to plans is like pulling teeth. Is there a way to get him to open up and tell me if I'm bothering him? | Guy I have a no-strings-attached thing with has been ignoring all of my invitations to get together, but won't be straightforward and tell me to buzz off. |
t3_150wu5 | relationships | Do long engagements work? [21f][21m] | My boyfriend and I are both 21 and seniors in college. We've been dating for three years.
We're had the post college talk, and it seems he's willing to follow me wherever I may end up. (He's going to be a teacher, so he has more flexibility as far as location.) We've also had the marriage talk, and we're confident about sticking together for the long haul.
I was talking to his mother the other day, and she let it slip that he was considering proposing to me next semester. He understands that I don't want to get married until we both have jobs and have settled down and made some money, so this would mean we could be engaged for quite some time before the wedding.
I guess my question is, does anyone have any experience with long engagements? I find myself asking so many questions. Do long engagements make cold feet more likely? How will people perceive such a long engagement? Would it be better for us to put off getting engaged until we're settled, knowing that we won't get married for some time?
Sorry if this seems petty compared to other posts on here. But any outside advice would be appreciated! | possibility of boyfriend proposing by next spring, although we both know we won't be getting married for some time. What are the pros/cons of having a long engagement and is it worth it? |
t3_37owba | AskDocs | Back issues with "Anomaly"? (MRI pics included) | 25, Male, 5'11", 270lbs, White, Lower back pain.
I have had MRI's recently showing I have disk degeneration and severe herniation that is pressing against my narrowing (or born narrow) canal, as you can see in my MRI pictures. Doctor is recommending surgery as I am having very bad sciatic pain, to the point of where I walk a block and im limping back in pain home, or not being able to do simple things like walk around the store for too long.
Anyways, I get that and understand, I accept that. But my doctor also said that the MRI showed something weird, possibly bone or something on or around my pelvis/lower spine area. He said " I honestly am not sure what exactly it is or what is going on down there", So he is ordering a CT scan so he can figure it out before he starts planning the surgery. I asked him if he had any ideas of what it might be, or could be, and he seemed to kinda dance around the question just saying that if I was born with bone there and its not causing any issues then its shouldn't be a problem, but didn't really answer if he thought it could be anything. I understand if he just doesn't wanna jump the gun and say it could be something, But at the same time, if he has any ideas I would have liked to have heard them regardless. Anyways, attached are the few MRI pictures I have a copy of, I have no idea what im looking for, but if could tell me if they see it, and to possibilities I would appreciate it. I dont have my ct scan for a few weeks. | Doctor noticed possible abnormal bone growth near pelvis/spine, said he wasnt sure what it is, ordered CT, but seemed to walk around the question if he had any theories of what it could be. |
t3_38azwd | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of three months, she wants more commitment... | We're both exchange students studying in Taiwan. She arrived in Taiwan in January and we met through mutual friends shortly afterwards... we started dating three months ago, and it was going great. Seriously, I could not imagine a better girlfriend... quite possibly because she is my first girlfriend, and I am her first boyfriend. (I'm American, she's Korean.)
The trouble is, she just started studying and will be in Taiwan for at least another year, and I am leaving in only two weeks, so we're looking at the prospect of becoming long-distance. (I already had plans to leave before we started dating, and she knew it at the time.) She really wants a commitment from me- a promise that we'll stay together no matter what, that I know she's the one for me. She even wants me to book plane tickets to Korea to go meet her parents before I go.
The trouble is, I can't honestly say I know she's the woman I want to marry. We've only been dating for three months, after all; we haven't even kissed yet! I feel it would be strange if I was 100% sure after such a short time. I'm optimistic, don't get me wrong, but I just can't commit like she wants me to. She, on the other hand, feels I'm being immature.
The long-distance aspect of our relationship won't help things. She feels insecure because I'm leaving, and I get that. I understand why she would want some kind of guarantee, but what she wants me to do- in my eyes, at least, maybe not hers- is propose to her, and I just can't do that yet.
We had a fight. She cried. We didn't break up, but pretty close to it. I really do feel like our relationship could go somewhere, if only she would give it more time... | Our relationship is about to go long-distance. Girlfriend wants me to propose, I don't want to yet. How can we patch this up? |
t3_10e6iu | personalfinance | How can I re-finance a car if the banks are denying my loan applications? | Backstory: I was living at home with my parents when my first car (a lemon I drove for 5 years) broke down for good and I needed something else. I didn't have savings to buy a used car in full so my stepdad signed a loan for me to get a new car. I'm working full time so the payments are not an issue. However, since getting the car, my mom and stepdad have divorced and he's not exactly a cheerful/understanding guy. He wants the car loan out of his name because I guess he's afraid I'll stop paying for it. There is no chance at all that I would stop making payments however because I rely on my car to get me to work. I have about $9,900 left to pay on the car so I started applying for loans via banks. I was denied by Wells Fargo and one other bank. I was approved by Capital One but it was for a new car - a "blank check" thing they do. When I explained that it was more like a re-finance, they told me the blank check wouldn't be useful.
My stepfather has the insurance and registration in his name. I need to get a loan in my name to get the title signed over to me. So I'm wondering what my best options are? The loans denied me for lack of a credit history (I only have one small credit card) and for amount due on accounts (student loans). My credit score is decent, right around 700 and I'm a member of a credit union. I'm wondering if getting a loan through the credit union (1.99%) will be my best option or if reddit knows of any better ways to handle the situation? Talking to my stepfather is not an option, he's been leaving borderline threatening messages but I won't get into that story. Suggestions? | Car in my stepdad's name has $9,900 left due and I need a loan in my name. What are my options? |
t3_dadrz | AskReddit | Entomologists of Reddit, help me out, this is driving me nuts. | Looking for some help identifying an insect. Tried some insect taxonomy sites, but couldn't find what I was looking for. Walked into a wooden shed today and saw what I thought was a spider at first, but scratched that once I saw that it had six legs and the two hind legs looked like a grasshopper/cricket's.
Unlike a grasshopper though, the body was way smaller in proportion to the length of the legs and the entire thing was at least 4 inches long from the tip of one leg to the other. Wish I could have taken a picture, but I was working and my camera was back in my tent. A coworker called it a "cedar cricket" but a quick google brought up nothing by that name. Any ideas? | Looking to ID a cricket-like insect on the west coast of Canada that's about 4 inches long and very leggy. |
t3_1d9g4q | relationship_advice | [22/F] I can't forget about my 'almost lover' [22/m] | As we all know, college is the time that will change your life, in all directions; future job, friends and love.
In the summer of my freshman year, I met this guy, lets call him Joe through the college class page. I was coming out of a long term break up. This guy made me feel beautiful and I felt that I felt for him. So we never met but we talked a lot on MSN chat and we have talked on the phone. I also met my current boyfriend of 4 years through the school. Before me and my boyfriend started dating, me and Joe were sort of really close. I thought I was going to date Joe, but he never asked me out and we were far apart. I love my current boyfriend but however at times I always wonder about Joe. Joe has a girlfriend. My boyfriend was on vacation so he moved in fall term later.. during that time me and Joe got even closer. Me and end up sharing a night together (not sex) , and we spent late nights talking. Joe and my boyfriend are both such great guys, the type of guys that will not cheat on you if you are 20,000 miles away. They both are the guy that will drive 3 hours everyday just to see you. They both are the guy who can find a girl so much better than me. Joe and my boyfriend both have nice abs and I am no where to being tone. They both can dance and sing and don't mind that I cant.
Fast forward, me and Joe have drifted. But my feelings for him are there. I dont know how to move on. He doesnt talk to me even if I send him facebook messages. Honestly if Joe told me he wanted to be with me, I would consider it? I am really conflicted. I sometimes think what would it been if I dated Joe.
is this normal? | Met Joe in college, and 4 years later I still can't let him go even though I been in a relationship these 4 years. |
t3_29ziko | relationships | My 22F boyfriends 22M new "sexual" technique is not working with me. How to cope? | duration: 3 years
we have a really nice relationship. He's one of the nicest guys i've ever been with. we typically have sex 3-4 times a week. he's always enjoyed it. we keep it interesting and try to make it daring. we moved in together at the beginning of February and we enjoyed the freedom of having sex whenever and wherever. we even ventured to having sex in our pool and trying in the car.
but we haven't had sex in close to three weeks now. i have felt slightly sexually frustrated as i have a pretty high sexual appetite and i always thought his matched mine perfect. so i asked him why we hadn't been having sex and this is what he said:
the more we frequently have sex the more it's not as special. i want you to feel loved and tender. by not having sex we will crave and want each other more and make the passion higher than it's been.
well, that seemed fine at first. for the first 10 days or so, i wanted him like crazy and he'd always tease me but ultimately decline sex in the end. so since day 10, now on day 22 or so, i have felt rejected and unloved. i feel very unwanted rather than sexy and passionate. i expressed this to him at dinner yesterday and he teased me very sexually while we watched TV (i.e touching my boobs and making out with me and rubbing his hands up and down my body) but then he smiled all goofy and asked if i like it and when I said yes, he said good, but then did nothing further. last night i got on top of him naked and began kissing him and when i reached for his boner, he told me to stop, and i was so hurt and rejected.
how do I get him to really understand his sexual technique sucks? | boyfriend thinks that if we don't have sex for awhile we will want each other more, worked in the beginning but he's been dragging it on for too long and hurting my feelings. |
t3_2932p5 | relationships | She [23F] is confusing the hell out of me [23m] | We've been seeing one another for 3 weeks now, it started out great she was excited to meet with me. We met on tinder, but it turns out we had also gone to the same elementary school and she remembered me, i only have vague memories of her,
Anyways, first date is great, she eagerly tells me she wants to meet up again, we set a date its all good. While we were out on this date shes talking of her sexual experiences, i meanwhile cant share any because im a virgin. She sort of gets that vibe and says "i feel like theres something you arent telling me" so i tell her im a virgin. She says thats great, gives me a hug, gets embarassed saying shes "making herself sound like a ho." I assure her shes not, we keep talking, i take her home and give her a kiss goodbye, she tells me to call her, text her.
Suddenly she seems a little less eager to get together, but we go on another date. Heres where suddenly mixed singals start flying. While on this date she getd to the point that she says "im not going to be the one to take your virtue" l later she starts kissing me more and hugging me and kissing my neck. She asks me what i expect/want from her, and i tell her that i could see us becoming a couple, that eventually at this point id want to make her my gf. She hugs me and we start kissing more.
The next day i realize the whole "im not going to be the one to take your virtue" thing really bothered me, but i ignore it until i get drunk later with friends and stupidly get to the point where i text her asking what she wanted/expected from me. I didnt expect a response nor did i get one, bothers me a little but its nothing i cant deal with.
I guess i just feel like that she has an issue with me being a virgin and wondering if there was a tactful way to ask so i can know whether or not to bother getting emotionally invested. | girl im dating knows im a virgin, says she wont be the one to take my virtue yet later that same day is making advances. How do i ask wtf is going on? |
t3_4aydqy | tifu | TIFU by macing myself in the face | Obligatory "Obligatory this happened several years ago."
I was at my grandparents house for the day and was about to go with my mom and sister to my cousin's baseball game. It was mid summer and mosquitoes are overly fond of me so while everyone is talking before leaving, I go into the next room over and into my grandparents' closet where the bug spray would be. I see a small bottle with no labels that looks like it could contain bug spray. After looking it over I don't see any clues as to what it is so I decide to spray a bit on my hand and figure it out for myself. A stream sprays out and deflects as a spray directly into my face. I have just enough time to put it back and take a few steps before hell starts.
Eyes start burning. Without thinking I try to wipe them clear with the hand I sprayed. Face is now on fire. Hand and arm are on fire. I run to the bathroom to clear it out of my eyes but it just spreads all over my face now. I run and grab the bottle again and interrupt my family explaining what happened and asking what was in the bottle. My grandmother confirms it was mace that she got because she walks by a vicious dog on her way to the bank. My whole family is laughing at me as I'm trying to stop the burning. Took a few hours to get it to fully stop. Should have just asked for bug spray. | Needed some bug spray. Found an unlabeled bottle in my grandmother's closet. Spray some at hand to test but a stream shoots out and deflects into my face. Mace. |
t3_xpc35 | relationships | Confused by sudden feelings for ex-boyfriend, should this affect my current relationship? | I am 19F currently in a pretty serious relationship with a guy I met in college 10 months ago (he's 20). I have had nothing but good times with him and I can see this relationship lasting for a really long time. However, I recently got hit with some extreme nostalgic feelings for my high school bf, my first love, whom I dated for almost 3 years. He showed up in a dream where we awkwardly tried to reconcile (we haven't talked much since I started dating my current bf), nothing sexual, just talking about the past, and I woke up thinking damn, it would be nice to talk to him. Then a picture of him showed up on a friend's facebook and I was struck by how frigging attractive I still find him.
Since then I can't stop thinking about how awesome our relationship was and all the little things I miss. I can't really compare him to my new bf because they are such different people and the maturity level of the relationships are so far apart, but I just can't help thinking that I wish my current bf was more like my ex in some ways (for example, god I wish he was confident like my ex was!).
These feelings are totally new, we've been dating for 9 months and I haven't seen my ex for about that amount of time. I did just return home (where ex lives) for the rest of the summer, so maybe that triggered it? I just don't know what it means; I can't stop thinking about my ex and it's making me feel so guilty. I know it wouldn't be reasonable in any way to get back together with him, that's not even crossing my mind as a possibility, but I just can't stop thinking about him and the vast difference between him and my current beau.
So my question is reddit, is this saying something about the state of my current relationship? Or is it normal and nothing to be worried about? | Happily in a steady relationship, suddenly started intensely missing my ex. Is it possible that I'm not as happy as I thought? |
t3_1ep05u | relationships | I think my [F,22] bf [20]of 5 months is making up stories about himself. | I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and we made sure we are both being honest with each other and not BSing around, not playing games and so on.
However, from the beginning, he's told me some stories that are hard to believe. I can't go into detail because he browses reddit on occasion. Imagine someone incapable of cooking spaghetti tells you how awesome and fancy the meals are he makes for himself. It does not match his personality and definitely does not go with his behavior. IMO, it's impossible that he just happens to be different around me. If those stories are true then he has a serious personality disorder.
The thing is, there is no way for me to verify what he's saying because he is from out of town and we have no mutual friends or share a past that makes it clear whether he is or isn't making things up.
I feel kind of betrayed and manipulated and have no idea what to do because I can't see a way to find out if he is lying or not. He does have some mental issues and I'm scared that he might be a compulsive liar.
What can I do to find out what is going on? I don't need to know if a specific story is true, the main reason for me to post this is because I am scared he might be a compulsive liar and manipulator. And he **is** a good manipulator, I've seen it first-hand. What do I do? | Boyfriend tells stories that are inconsistent with his behavior and personality. I feel uncomfortable and manipulated, don't know how to assess the situation because I'm scared there might be some mental issues behind it. |
t3_11j296 | relationships | My boyfriend [22M] never texts or calls me [19F] anymore. | Hi Reddit!
I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 22 and we've been together for a little over a year.
My boyfriend isn't much of a texter anyways, because he prefers to talk over the phone.
We would always always talk on the phone at least once a day, and we would text each other a few times during the day.
If he couldn't call me at night, he would text me saying goodnight, and I;d get a goodmorning text every once in a while.
But as of late, he never seems to have any time to hang out, never calls me, and never ever replies to any of my good night texts.
I've brought this up to him before, and he just says he's busy. But a few weeks to a month or so ago he would still do it, when he was just as busy.
For instance, this past weekend, NO COMMUNICATION whatsoever.
He didn't bother to call me, or even text me.
I texted and called him him a few times and he never responded to either.
I woke up saturday morning really missing him and I told him that i loved him and wished him a good day.
He texts me back a few minutes later with out even acknowledging my text and says something completely unrelated.
I'm getting very confused. I called him last night, and he never picked up or even called back. He usually calls me when he gets off work, but I called him about 30 minutes after he got off work, and nothing.
Frankly, I'm getting fed up with this, and I feel unwanted. I feel like a nuisance.
I understand the not replying to texts much, because that's how he is. But the calls? WTF.
I feel like he keeps trying to avoid me, and keeps cancelling out plans to hang out.
I'm on the verge of tears because this fucking sucks.
What is happening and what should I do? | Boyfriend of over a year recently stopped answering my calls and texts, and rarely ever calls me (it's been over a week now). He keeps postponing our plans and I'm confused as to what happened and what to do. |
t3_2mo8bj | relationships | My housemate stinks and doesn't tidy up. | I[21F] live with 3 people, my boyfriend James[19M], his female friend Sam[19F] and then our forth housemate is a guy (Also called James so will call him Ginger[19M] for this) that lived in their uni halls and we took pity on because he didn't have living arrangements with anyone else.
So long story short, he smells bad. Not like BO but the kind of smell you associate with old people homes, and as he lives on the ground floor (other bedrooms are first floor and attic) it stinks out the whole ground floor including the kitchen and living room because he leaves his door open. To the point where when he's out, myself or my boyfriend will frebreeze his room and light incense outside his door.
He also doesn't pull his weight at all and is very inconsiderate, he doesn't answer the front door (which is literally next to his door) unless it's for him (it never is), and the first day we moved in we decided we would split the washing up fairly, and he's never done it once.
He also leaves stuff like butter and milk open and left on the side. Had to throw out a bunch of food due to him.
I've confronted him about the door and washing up and he's apologised and said he'll do it, then the next day he'll complain to the other female housemate about what a controlling bitch I am and that he shouldn't have to answer the door or wash dishes that aren't his even though we share all the dishes, pans, cutlery etc so I really don't know what to do about him. | Inconsiderate room mate doesn't pull his weight or do basic chores and stinks out the entire house. Not really friends so don't know how to properly address the problems without starting a war. |
t3_torag | self | Reddit, I've spent my entire life trying to get to this point, I need your help. | Hi,
My name is Andrew. I was born and raised in Middletown, OH, this tiny town just north of Cincinnati. My whole family, from as far back as I know, has been steel workers. My dad, my grandpa's on either side, great grandfather, etc. Obviously, the steel economy hasn't really maintained over the years, so I grew up relatively poor but with a truly wonderful, supportive mother who was behind me in everythring I tried. I graduated high school in 2004, and I went to film school. I had this crazy idea that I wanted to make movies.
Flash forward a few years, and I'm deep into pre-production on my first feature film as a writer/director. I've worked on numerous films (shorts and features), but this is a story I really believe in. There's so much of me in this movie. It's about growing up and breaking up. It's about what it means to go home again and find out that things are never as familiar as you remember. It's about finding out who you are, and finding that person somewhere between who you used to be and who you are now.
I need your help. I work with a very small group of talented filmmakers who do this as a full time job. Our fundraising clock is literally ticking down. Anything anyone can do to help us spread the word would be amazing. This is my dream. This is what I've strived for my entire life. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read it. | I'm trying to do something with my life -- in the form of making a movie. Today our fundraising ends. Can you help? It would be awesome. Really awesome. |
t3_m5lnp | AskReddit | Bro-in-law is getting kicked out of his place and I'm afraid if we let him stay with us we can't afford it. What should I do and how should I approach it? | My wife and I have been together for six years. We both have brothers who seem to prefer living paycheck to paycheck. Understand I don't judge them for that--I love them but it tends to put them in precarious positions from time to time.
We had to pay my brother's way for a while when he was unemployed a few years ago and it was a financial strain. Now her brother is facing eviction in a town 5 hours away. He has a job but can't find a place in his price range. He has asked to stay with us, but I don't think it's a good idea.
About us--lesbian couple, I am career military and she is a full-time medical student and part-time worker. We share a good-sized house with another military couple and I feel it would be inconsiderate to them as well if he stayed with us. If he moves here he will obviously lose the job he has, and the economy in the area isn't exactly thriving. I anticipate having to pay his way but we are planning on having children soon. Their mother cosigned for his car and cannot help financially, so I have a feeling we'd be footing the bill for that too. She feels a great deal of guilt since he's family and has already told him he can "hang out for a while" without telling me while I was out of town for training. He is a really great guy but prefers to spend every last cent drinking and partying. We go out from time to time but prefer to pay off our loans and fund our retirement account.
I need to know how I can approach this without sounding like an inconsiderate asshole. I've tried telling her that this is not her doing, it's his.
And please don't think I snub him or anything. When we go visit her hometown I always pick up the bill for his food, cigarettes, drinks, tickets, anything we do together, (with a smile) and don't ask for a cent back. | My wife's brother is getting kicked out of his place and wants to move in with us. I don't think it's a good idea, I can tell she wants to say yes but I feel we should say no. |
t3_1qoiux | relationships | Chick [20 F] is spreading ridiculous rumors about me [21 M] | We know each other through mutual friends and unfortunately have to see each other a lot. Everybody knows she's really psychologically unstable. She's started rumors about me asking her out "7 times", texting her constantly (her friend told me she knew I was "obsessed with her"), being abusive to her (calling her a "bitch" and a "cunt"), where I have done no such thing. (For reddit stalkers this is not the girl that just dumped me).
Basically I asked her out, she rejected me a couple month ago. Since that she's let me have it. She has called me: "fat", "disorganized", "an awful [insert job here]", "PTSD". I made her aware of her own abuse, and I made known my sentiment that I was glad she had rejected me because a relationship with her would be awful. I guess that upset her because she's basically told everyone that I am obsessed with her, abusive to her. It's like she has no shame, she'll tear up about it if she has to. A complete psychopath. How do I deal with this person?
It's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be because I told everyone she's talked to what's really going on, and they seem to be aware of her psychological issues. It just really bothers me. | a girl is spreading rumors about me, seems to hate me because I asked her out but then later thanked her for saying no because she is openly and aggressively mean to me |
t3_e63t1 | jobs | Working in retail as an "in between"-- sort of OK idea or horrible idea? | Hello again-- it has been a while, but still no job to be had by me.
I am, as I might've stated in some other post, sometime, a Masters degree Chemist. I'm applying to both jobs (available immediately) and graduate school (which will start next Fall).
**Do you, Jobbit, in your professional opinion,** think that applying to and working in retail (Kohls, Borders, someplace like that) for the holiday season would be detrimental to my resume?
I have been unemployed since graduation in August, and have avoided said retail employment because it was "out of my field". But student loans are coming, and I feel I should start saving (as well as saving for a down payment on an apartment and other living expenses). | is out-of-field work better than no work at all? AND THEN should I put it on my resume? |
t3_2lq6xi | Advice | I know I'm in trouble | I work with a company that does medical checkups on clients. We travel to events and perform check ups using expensive medical devices. Today, over a six hour shift, we had 3 employees (I am one) and 8 volunteers (the volunteers had shifts). Today we were doing a particular screening that required three devices, which we had at the beginning of the day, but because the crowd was slower today we only used two devices, at one point we were even only using one. I was mostly doing data entry on the computer, but when the other employees needed to take a break I would take over screening for them. Because it was a slower day, all of us took extended breaks (though we made sure there were atleast one employee and two volunteers at any given time) then at the end of the day, the volunteers left and we found out that one our devices were missing. After looking everywhere for it, it was determined that it was stolen. No one had a record of who used it, and no one remembers using it or seeing it - except for the beginning of the day. I was the one who had to break the news to our CEO, who was livid - this is an expensive device that costs atleast 400$, and has private patient information on it. Despite only being an intern, I was the one who took a leadership position over everyone (because no one else wanted to) and my CEO, knowing this, wants me to "figure it out". I honestly don't know what to do. Its worrying me. The two other employees - one is an intern as well (who doesn't care much), and one is a very shy and quiet tier 2 employee who took absolutely no initiative at all (not even to look for the device), despite the fact that she is atleast 15 years older than me. Neither of them are going to work tommorow, but I am, and I am worried sick. I don't know what todo. | lost an expensive medical device, not my fault (no ones fault/everyone's fault because no one kept an eye on the device), yet CEO wants me to find a solution. |
t3_1e8afr | relationships | My friend [m33] has had feelings for me [f20] for a while but I don't feel the same and he found out about a recent liaison I had. | He and I have been friends for over a year. He's like a brother to me and he is okay with us being just friends. I hooked up with another person recently and forgot to cover up the hickeys on my neck. My friend saw them and got kinda upset. How do I proceed with our friendship and not hurt him in the future with this stuff? I've made it clear I just want to be friends and we've talked a lot recently about his feelings and how he wants more. I guess I'm just wondering how I can still do my own thing but be more sensitive to his feelings? | Inadvertently causing misery in the 'friendzone' by reminding my friend I'm hooking up with other people and not him. How do I be more sensitive to my friends feelings without coddling him? |
t3_2chj94 | relationships | Me 19M and 18F are at a breaking point. I don't know what to do. | First time here, but I'm stuck, and don't know what to do.
My girlfriend of 1 year and I are having big problems. It's just constant arguing.She's my first serious girlfriend, and I care a lot for her. I would be torn apart if she wasn't part of my life.
I'm not saying I'm innocent, and she's not innocent either. This fight we just had is a breaking point. I'm done with it.
I'm done with all the arguing over nothing, done fighting weekly. I don't know what to do. We talked, and this fight was really bad in particular.
Should I just move on. I don't want to, but I can't take this arguing all the time anymore, we've sat and talked about it, but I just can't deal with it anymore, and neither can she.
If I were to break up, what should I do, I'd be in a state of sadness, and don't know how to deal with it. With girl means a lot to me, she's my first love you could say. I've never had this serious of a relationship. I wouldn't know what to do if we broke up.
Please help me.. | First ever serious relationship, with my year long girlfriend. Constant arguing, don't want to break up, but open for ideas. Don't know how to deal with the sadness and stress if were to break up. |
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