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t3_2xr0vc | dating_advice | Girl (18F) says she likes me (19M), doesn't want a relationship right now, but we still hang out? | So there's this girl I met in one of my college classes about 10 weeks ago, and we immediately hit it off (we studied together the night we first met). She asked me to watch a movie with her, and we went out to lunch a few times. One night, she comes into my room and tells me she loves hanging out with me. However, she tells me that she's not very happy with herself right now (she mentioned she had a thing last term that really messed her up), and that she "can't drag me through her crap". She tells me that she wants to stay friends for now. I tell her how I feel about her, and that I respect her desire to be friends. She calls me a great guy, and says that meeting me is her favorite part of our class.
Fast forward a few weeks and we're still hanging out together. I've asked her to come over and see a movie with me, and she asked me to come to a club meeting with her. We talk after class and text occasionally.
I suppose my question is, what should I do? Obviously Im trying to keep meeting other people in case something comes up, but I haven't met anyone I feel the same way about. I'm trying to let our friendship take over for now, but I still find myself really caring about her. So I'm not waiting for her, but is there any chance of this ever becoming a relationship? | Girl likes me, but doesn't want a relationship. We still hang out and I really like her, but trying to meet other people. Not sure if it will ever become something else. |
t3_xtv8s | relationships | I'm a terrible person. | 25/m. 3 years married. I think about leaving my wife every day.
Ever since I became married, I've been plagued with lengthy bouts of depression, accompanied by feeling like life is a dead end. I'm not happy with where I am in life.
Once the ring was slipped on, bye-bye blowjobs. I honestly have no idea how I didn't take this as a sign of things to come. Over the past years she has gotten fat, and I find myself less and less attracted to her. Looking at pictures of her older relatives and mom, I can't imagine myself being with someone who ends up like that.
I feel like I rushed into marriage, going from college to wedding without any time to live on my own and learn more about myself.
I have recently begun having homosexual fantasy and ideation, and am not free to experiment. I never got a chance to do so before I married.
We have contemplated separation numerous times, and each time I can tell she trusts me less and less. She isn't the one who is unhappy, and frankly I'm just coming to think that I'm too much of a pussy to begin the process.
Here in Canada, I'm aware that we need to separate first then divorce comes. I'm terrified of financial repercussions (spousal support, though we earn similar income and have no kids).
I fantasize about living on my own, not having to answer to anyone, putting myself out there in the gay/bi community, being creative, active, happy. I am none of those things now.
What should I do to proceed? I am aware that I have to talk to my wife first, but what after that, should I move out right away, file the separation notice, get a lawyer? What're the next steps?? | Married too young, becoming less and less attracted to wife, questioning sexuality, not emotionally invested in relationship but too confused as to how to proceed. |
t3_24d7hs | weddingplanning | Need a new makeup artist with only five months to go! Help in Upstate NY please! | I am getting married Columbus Day weekend, when I booked 10/11/14 I didn't realize it was a holiday weekend which meant a lot of other weddings! I searched for a while for an available makeup artist in my budget. I was recommended to a woman who had been out of the business for awhile because her child was sick and was constantly in the hospital. She was starting her business back up. She had a good portfolio, she was in my price range, and I figured "I'd like her to get the money compared to a salon". She gave me a flat rate of $35 and it would be an extra $15 for the photo finish. My girls only needed the flat rate. I confirmed with her several times that that meant full makeup. Well, suddenly I wasn't getting replies from the girl, I was having to remind her of many things. It was frustrating but I sucked it up.
Then we got a contract which was worded in a strange way then said it was $45 per person but we all got a discount...That didn't make any sense. So my mother called and emailed her, no reply for over a week. Then late last night she got an email from the makeup artist saying the flat rate is just for primer, concealer, and mascara. That wasn't correct at all after we discussed this on multiple occasions. Basically, I am done with this girl! I have to give up the $45 deposit and deal with looking for a new makeup artist with five months to go. Anyone in the upstate NY area-particularly the Capital Region- can you please recommend me someone? I have exhausted my searches on WeddingWire and the Knot and really need word of mouth right now. I'll take newbies too! As long as they have a good work ethic and I can trust them! | Had to fire my makeup artist today. Please make recommendations for Upstate NY! I've contacted everyone on WeddingWire and The Knot. |
t3_2f1hr5 | relationships | My [24f] boyfriend [27m] may have just broken up with me? | I've [24f] known for a few months that my boyfriend [27m] has been depressed. I, myself, have been on antidepressants for a while. I made him an appointment at our doctor when I first found out he was depressed, hoping maybe she could refer him to a therapist and/or give him some antidepressants as well (fyi his appointment is in a few days).
Since then I've tried to be almost annoyingly supportive and understanding. He doesn't really want to go anywhere or talk to anyone or even do anything around the house, so I do everything for him. I get all the groceries, I cook all the food, I do all the laundry, I clean the house often, I walk the dogs, I take his clothes out in the morning for him, I get up early to make him breakfast every morning and other things like that. He's really emotional and every time he cries I hold him and try to comfort him as best I can. I know this isn't going to make him any better, but I do it so that he doesn't have to worry about them.
Yesterday he said he's had something on his mind that he's been wanting to tell me for a little while. After some coddling he finally admitted that he's had to force himself not to make me leave him so that he can be depressed by himself. When he told me this I didn't know what to say and then he immediately said he'd never break up with me.
I didn't really respond to him. I told him that I needed to process everything, but I honestly have no idea what to do. He has to force himself to make me leave, but he'd never break up with me? I'm so confused. | My [24f] depressed boyfriend [27m] told me he has to force himself not to make me leave him because he wants to be depressed by himself. |
t3_12esuo | relationships | Facing the barrel of divorce and realizing I want to save my marriage. Where do I start? [35m, 35f] | I'm hoping to not get flamed and I'm just looking for any advice on how I can fix what I've broken. We've been married for 9 years and together for 10 years total. We have two young sons together. Years 1 to about 5 of our marriage were just perfect. I don't think I've ever been happier than we were then. Few years back a lot of things started to go to shit. We became really distant, sex became rare, and we were arguing all the time.
So I made a horrible choice and started an affair. The affair lasted for three years. Which looks awful and it was. The woman I cheated on my wife with worked for me and the affair continued up until when she left for a new job. My wife ended up finding out of the affair after the fact when the woman's husband found out about the affair later on. He tells my wife and we immediately separate.
I'm not remorseful when it comes out and I didn't fight for our marriage. My wife told me she wanted a divorce and I just said okay. We've been separated for six months now and we've started to talk again and I'm realizing why I married her and why I love her and why I want our marriage back so badly. I've been with other people during the separation but I've cut off everything with other women.
My wife is listening to me but she is still closed off to me. She is hurt and angry, as she should be. I don't know what to tell her or how to explain why I didn't want to work it out, when she wanted to. Or how I could do what I did for so long. She hasn't seen anyone else since we split (thank God) and I think in her heart she wants to try again but pride is holding her back. How can I began to bring us closer together again? | My wife and I are separated and talking again after we split. I want to save our marriage more than anything now. I had an affair while we were married that led to the separation. |
t3_2pm1at | tifu | TIFU by collecting the post. | Yesterday I collected the post from the post box and put it on the worktop. In the collection of post there was a letter addressed to me. I took that letter to my room and opened it! It was a Christmas card from a friend of mine and a £10 note fell out! I pocketed the money happily and sent the person a thanks message. However they message me back saying they didn't send any money so I was bemused, but I kept the money anyhow.
Come today and it all came down. My father asked if there was any money in the post box when I collected the post yesterday and I said no completely forgetting the £10 I had found. Later on in the evening after denying I had found anything, during a chat bringing up the options I remembered I had found £10 and it must have just been attached to the envelope not actually in it! I quickly decide to tell my parents that I had found some but didn't explain the story in depth and ended up just saying I lied to them as I didn't think they would believe me. Ends up there should have been £15 which I don't understand and they no longer have any trust in me. I lied to them significantly early on in the year which came with consequences but I have been honest since then. They now have no trust in me and are doubting everything I've ever said or done. They're is nothing I can do to regain their trust right now and as its so close to Christmas I feel like I've ruined it all for everyone. To them I am now just a lying 16 year old of which everything I say is surrounded by lies. | I found £10 which I thought came from a card and as a consequence am no longer trusted by parents in anything. |
t3_yuh12 | AskReddit | Neighbors egged my house today after we reported them. How can I get back at them? | So the story isn't as fun or badass as you think it would be but I don't know what else to do.
Basically, my neighbors just love having camp fires all the time. My family and I doesn't care when our other neighbors have a fire once in a while with their friends but these neighbors are just bad.
My mother is a cancer survivor and is bothered very much by smoke. This smoke that comes from their pit fills the entire house with smoke and forces us to shut every window in the house for hours while they have this fire going. It closes off all the fresh air and makes us sit in the hot, nasty air while we sleep.
My parents called the cops a few times, but they never actually got fined and in result never stopped making the fires. Last night, my folks called again and the cop fined the neighbors because there was a smog warning. An hour later one of the neighbors came and smashed an egg on our front door. They didn't throw it, they walked up to the door and smashed it.
We've gotten really fed up with this attitude and highly doubt that the police will care about what happens at all, so I would like to get back at them in some non-violent and passive way to show them how annoying it can be. What are your ideas, Reddit?
Also, if it helps, I live in Canada, so if there's any legal information that I should know that would be great. | Called cops on neighbors because of consistent huge fires and in result got egged. What can I do to get back? |
t3_36lnis | relationships | Me [21F] with friend [22M] of 4 months. He wants to talk/hang out all the time, but has a girlfriend. Appropriate or not? | I met this guy for the first time when we were assigned as partners in a chem class, and we became friends right away. He's a really cool guy, and we have a lot of fun talking about our favourite books, anime, etc.
It's gotten to the stage where we hang out a few times a week in labs or for lunch. On top of that, we talk online every day, multiple times throughout the day, anywhere between morning and night.
The problem is, I'm starting to wonder if this is excessive? I only like him as a friend, so that's not an issue. I'm just worried that it might be disrespectful to his girlfriend, for another girl to be taking up so much of her bf's time, and talking to him late at night (It's never me who texts him first in the evening). I don't have any other close male friends, so I've never run into this problem before.
Any thoughts appreciated. | Made new friend, we talk all the time. Worried it might be disrespectful to his girlfriend. As an SO, would you mind? |
t3_51wzmz | personalfinance | Questioning what repayment plan is best...IBR vs REPAY vs pay as you earn.... | I will graduate on October 2nd and start my new job on 9/19. I will be making more money but my last years taxes are about 36k. I will be making about 45k with the new job but it puts me into a higher tax bracket. I have about $8000 in left over school funds, I wanted them returned to lender but the law changed and some got placed in my bank account. Due to medical bills I used some of that to pay down a large surgery bill. I will be paying them back that 8K!
I cannot consolidate my loans as I did with my undergrad loans. I plan on applying for the national health corps loan repayment program or | what is best IBR/REPAY/ program. Do I pay off undergrad loan with higher interest loan? |
t3_1hgh18 | dating_advice | I [20m] am getting mixed signals from a girl[22f] I thought was interested in me. Should I stop talking to her? | I've known this girl for about 6 months. I love her personality more than anything and I would love to work it out with her :). The first month we knew each other she asked me out on a date. I wasn't interested at the time because I didn't know her too well.
In the last 6 weeks we've went out together in a group multiple times. She used to text me first everyday but in the last couple of weeks she hasn't. My thoughts are that she got tired of initiating the conversations. I've been texting her first recently. She still has a lot to say to me but I've noticed she doesn't respond as fast.
She's a really friendly girl so she talks to a lot of people. I've seen her turn down a lot of guys hearts when they've tried asking her out. That being said, her/my friends notice that she talks to me a lot more than anyone else and her mood perks up when I'm around. She has tried to set me up with her friends, but I'm pretty sure that's just a cover up. My last girlfriend tried to do that but I eventually figured out she did it because she wanted to go out with me (weird, right?).
What should I do? Should I keep initiating the texts with her? Should I keep waiting? Should I ask her on a date with just the two of us? Am I reading too much into this? I really don't want to make it awkward between us because I see her often. | Doesn't text me first anymore and tried to hook me up with her friend so I'm not sure if she's interested. |
t3_2tk2uv | relationships | Where do I (25f) draw the line on verbal abuse from my boyfriend (26m)? | So I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and we've dated on and off for about 4 years. For the most part he's a great boyfriend, expect when he drinks. He has the habit of getting drunk and calling me over and over until i answer. He can either be sad, hyper, or just plain mean when he does this. It probably happens about once a month or so. I've learned to dread it and I try to ignore it as much as possible.
Recently he called me, drunk, and I didn't answer because I was showering. I finally manage to answer a call and he wanted me to head over to his friend's house, at 11pm, when I had work in the morning. I say no and he begins telling me he hates me and I'm the worst. I didn't take him seriously and said I hated him back, we have kind of a weird sense of humor, and then, in a tone he's never spoken to me in, he says "you're a bitch."
I hang up on him after and in the morning he texted me that he was sorry. That was two days ago and we haven't spoken since. I texted him today explaining that its not OK to treat me like that and he seems sorry but unwilling to really do anything about.
What should I do? He does this often and I don't know where to go from here. How much verbal abuse can a girl take before she's an idiot for being with a guy? | my boyfriend is verbally abusive when he's drunk and has taken it to the level of name calling. I don't know where to take it from here or if I'm over reacting or not. |
t3_3ym714 | relationships | My [22 F] is selfishly leaving after I [21 M] am finally ready. | Long story short the past three months I did everything I could to make it work. The last year of our relationship I was trying to learn somethings about myself and religion before I committed myself to her fully. I figured myself out and after three months of showing her this, she now doesn't want a relationship because of what I did (smoked wed a couple times/ overcame a PMO addiction), even though she cant see all the improvements I MADE (3 months ago).
After these three months she just decides to move away and join YWAM for 6 months. Now i'm left here, only wanting her. She wanted me to change these things so she could fully have me, once I changed myself FOR myself, and her. She decided she doesn't want anythings and leaves. Now she is leaving in about a week and we are about to have our closure talk. She texted me she was leaving and doing this. So for the about a week I didn't say anything to her but merry Christmas. now we are going to talk and I dont know how to make this better and not any worse. What should I avoid talking about and what should I talk to her about to encourage her? Anything I definitely should say? and anything I should to help?
Really appreciate any advice guys. My palms are sweating and I know this is going to be tough. | I tired everything I could because she wanted me and I wanted her. Once I made the changes, she leaves for 6 months and we are about to talk about it in a few days before she leaves. |
t3_52g0ly | relationships | I [28m] have been talkng to a girl[28f].She is very very reserved and I dont know how to keep the conversation going. | Before moving on let me make it clear that this is an arranged marriage situation.We are both south east asian and these type of marriages are common.
I received her number 5-6 days ago.I did text her first after mustering courage(lol)
and she did reply.We both introduced each other, our job,family etc etc.We both ask each other that if we wre both forced fpr this and we both get NO as an answer.So that is fine.I then ask abt her hobby and she tells me that she doesnt have any, no listening to music, or watching movies etc.She also tells me she is very introvert and she doesnt talk much with a new person i.e. she wont start a conversation but will reply if asked something.As things progressed on we talk smoothly but I am always the one to initiate talk and she would reply without hesitation.She barely uses social media sites and sometimes hours away from the phone.I mean it doesnt bother me but still.On saturday we had a great talk(just because i was drunk) and the next day I was at a loss for words.I can sense that she is intrested in me but everyday I am the one who is texting her first bit usually she replies promptly.I can see that she is trying very hard to continue the conversation and often drop one liners.I dont want to text her everytime so I usually do it in the morning, break and when the work is finished.
I am with this marriage and I want to the get the girl more intrested in me.How can I do that? How should I proceed with this? | Arranged marriage,talking to a girl,very very reserved,dont know how to keep her intrested. |
t3_14s094 | offmychest | I am having major sex thoughts about a woman who is not my wife. | I'm going to college after a few years off and I've made friends. One of them, "R", is a 28 year old fitness buff who sits next to me in every class we have. We've become pretty good friends, we don't spend a lot of time together, but we grab coffee from time to time. We talk, we hang out, we study together. All of this is fine, I have had female friends before and not developed crushes.
Here is the problem...
I've seen her in spandex and it looks better on her than anyone else I've ever seen wear it. I want to see her naked, I want to shower with her. I want to take off her clothes and have "last day on Earth before the asteroid hits" sex with her... maybe a couple of times. I want to stay up all night having sex with her. I don't want a relationship with her (even though she is a great person) I just want to have sex with her and then we can go back to friends.
A group of us were at the bar a week ago and she kept touching my elbow or our knees would touch for a few minutes, it made my heart pound!
I'm pretty good at self control, AND I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to do the same things to me that I want to do to her. This means I'm not really worried about doing something physical to end my marriage; which is good because I am happily married and don't want to mess my marriage up. But I feel like an ass for having these feelings. It isn't fair to my wife, it isn't fair to "R" and frankly I don't really want to feel this way about her. | I'm having strong erotic thoughts about someone I know and I don't really want to be having these feelings about them because I don't want to act on them. |
t3_2b6fwx | relationships | How can I [F/18] help my boyfriend [M/17] with his anxiety? | Hello! I have a wonderful, sweet, smart and overall amazing boyfriend!
He has anxiety and although it does not affect our relationship in a negative way, I just want to know things I can do to help him?
He gets nervous about other guys--never controlling, snooping, or accusing me of cheating. I just want to find a way to calm his nerves a bit. He is very, very open minded and will gladly make friends with all my guy friends, no problem!
I just want to know of ways I can help him with his anxiety? Again, it causes no problems in our relationship! | boyfriend has anxiety and it doesn't hurt our relationship, I just want to know if there are ways for me to help him keep calm? |
t3_2k0eks | relationships | I [24/F] was just told some deep shit about my bf [21/M]'s family. He's leaving for basic military training in a few weeks - should I tell him? | My boyfriend's parents are divorced, and, of course, there's some animosity and ongoing tension between the two sides of the family. His cousin and I thought it would be nice if we could get everyone to come together for the last holiday (Thanksgiving) before he leaves for basic training. It would be nice to send him off knowing that he's more important to his family than their bickerings.
I spoke with his mom today about his father, and ... it wasn't nice. Minor assault, cheating, lying, stealing, etc. I take what she says with many grains of salt, and I've certainly heard some stories about her, too. But it's always bothered me that my boyfriend tends to like his dad because he's "cool" (funny, chill, etc) and sometimes ignores that he's unemployed, lazy, immature... think the archetypal 40-something failure. Apparently he doesn't think the Thanksgiving plan could work out cause his current wife wouldn't like it.
Personally, I am the type who tells their significant other everything that's going on. As such, it's hard for me to have this (very affecting) information without telling my boyfriend about it.... it almost feels dishonest. But it seems like an awful thing to have on your mind right as you leave for the military... so what should I do? | Boyfriend's about to go to basic training and I've heard some deep family shit from his mom. Do I tell him the truth, or keep it to myself for now? |
t3_2hawmo | relationships | Me [24M] Can't determine if the girl I've been dating [26F] is a lost cause. | I've been seeing this girl about once a week for 5 weeks now. We hang out alone and sometimes with her room mates. After the second time we hung out, she told me that she liked me, as more than a friend. Fast forward to when she confides in me that she's been a lesbian since high school (seeing only women for 10 years and breaking off an engagement 2 years ago) and even more recently that she's unsure that she's not strictly into women. I don't know how to proceed, because she's admitted that I am the first compelling argument for her to have dated a guy before, and I really don't feel this is experimentation since she's mentioned that before as well. I like her a ton and I don't want to have any bitterness towards her because she's being true to herself. I just want to know, when it's fair for me to ask for an answer as well as being reasonable with her personal transition, as it's more complex than just dating me for her, especially with the communities she belongs to and such. I also want to know if this is in general a good idea or foolish from the get go, if anyone has had a similar experience | Girl I'm seeing is formerly a lesbian but is unsure about her interest in men, but enjoys me quite a bit. Looking to figure out when I should ask for her decision, while respecting her and myself. |
t3_3b3r3k | relationships | How can I (M/30) get better at organising trips/excursions for my wife (F/29) and I? | Hey-oh,
First off, my wife and I have a great relationship. Best friends and roommates for 5yrs, dated for 2, been married for 1. Good stuff, zero complaints.
However, I feel very guilty about a small facet. We go on a *lot* of mini vacations and roadtrips, visiting breweries or cheese factories or national parks or flower festivals etc. Anything and everything. Unfortunately (in my opinion) my wife is the one who always sets these up. I offer little to no input on these things as she's always so good about looking for stuff to do. I've talked to her about it and she doesn't have much of an answer, she "just finds" them somehow. She also doesn't seem to mind being responsible for it as it's fun for her, but I know it can cause her stress sometimes as it's just another thing put on her plate.
So, my question to you lot is this; what sites or services or mental exercises can I use to be better at doing my part to organise stuff for us to do? She's not bitter or mad or anything, but I know for a fact that it would ease her burden if she wasn't *always* the one setting stuff up for us to do. She tells me she appreciates me for always being willing to do whatever she wants (I'm a very agreeable person) so that's me "doing my part" in her book, but I'd like to do more. I just don't know how. I'm a fairly lazy person at heart and need a little direction in how to be more proactive in finding things for us to do so she doesn't have to *all* the time. | what methods do you guys use to come up with trips/excursions for couples to go on? Sites, services, mental exercises; all advice is welcome. Thanks. |
t3_3coxzb | tifu | TIFU by taking a screenshot of a credit card | A girl I don't even know sent me a snapchat of her new credit card to brag about it. I took a screenshot of it with the intention of blurring out the info and sending it back to her to warn/make fun of her. But before I can do this, she angrily messages me saying "WHO TF R U and why are you screen-shotting my credit card?!?" I tried to explain to her that what she did was really stupid and I was just trying to warn her, but before I could she accused me of theft, threatened to send hired thugs after me, and blocked me. | I took a screen-shot of a snapchat of a credit card a random girl sent me to warn her how stupid that was and made her very angry. |
t3_37h7zz | relationships | I [26/f] have agoraphobia and panic disorder. How can I get out of mandatory off-site, paid, work outings without my coworkers seeing my negatively? | Title says it all. I have agoraphobia and panic disorder, in addition to GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I've had these illnesses my entire life, and up until 2 years ago I was not even able to hold a job. I also have issues with health anxiety and depression.
I am at a point right now where I can't handle the unpredictability of an off-site work outing. I'm having panic attacks in the grocery store, blurred vision and the whole bit. I seriously can't handle this right now.
When I applied, I selected "yes" under disability, and have also confirmed this status once more in another form. I've never been asked to disclose what the disability is, however.
The main problem here, is that it's mandatory. I'm worried what my coworkers will think if I don't attend. | Agoraphobia, panic disorder, health anxiety, depression. Can't handle off-site, unpredictable work outing! But I don't want my coworkers to see me as a "problem" or "weird". Help. |
t3_2q5cm5 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my girlfriend [15 F] of 2 and a half years, are caught in a problem due to things she did with her male best friend. | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
Hi, this is my first time posting anything onto reddit, so please forgive me if I forget to do certain things.
I have been dating this girl for the past 2 years of my life, and so far it had seemed pretty spectacular. Except, she has had this male friend that she has known since childhood and has admitted to them having crushes on each other before. As of late, they have been visiting each others' houses quite frequently. I have always had some pretty bad paranoia with her cheating on me, with some of our male friends, so of course this worried me to death.
Tonight, she told me to help reset her password to her tumblr accounts, because she was too tired to get up and do it herself (we were in different houses btw). To do this small deed for her, I of course needed her passwords and email account. So, she gave them to me, and I proceeded to reset her password. But, as I was about to check the verification message in her email I saw the email below that was entitled: "Chats With The Greatest". I was curious and checked out the email and its attachments thinking it was of us (I agree snooping is wrong, and I'm really sorry for doing this). But upon further inspection, it was a chat between her and her male friend (I will include pics of the chat below).
In the chat, she talked about her hugging, cuddling, and holding hands with this friend, and it broke my heart as I was reading. I called her, to ask if this was her and the friend, if what she did was true and how many times they did it. She admitted to both and said only once. She then asked if I wanted to break up with her, and to not leave her. I asked my friends on what to do but, they were just as lost as I was. I know this whole situation is really childish but, we're just teenagers, so what should I do reddit? | My girlfriend's male childhood friend cuddled with her, held hands, and maybe more, while at his house. Should I stay or should I leave? |
t3_2mqiy6 | relationships | Wife (25) found the condoms I (29) took with me to a Bachelor party. Recently married after dating for four years. | I'm still kind of new to this "married man" title. So when my friend decided that a bunch of guys were going to another country for a bachelor's party I decided to toss a condom in my suitcase. My wife took them out of my bag, and I put them back before I left. Bachelor party for several days...i think take condoms, someone is going to need them.
So I return and as she unpacks my bags finds the condom and freaks out "why take a condom on vacation with you?"
I knew she was going to see them I didn't attempt to hide them but wasn't prepared for the reaction I got.
Q1: I need to know if this is as bad she took it.
We started out as lovers, and she knew about my other relationships because I don't believe in hiding anything. So there is still some validation and trust lacking since she sees me as a man who wants more than one, (True) but I believe in commitment.
We have a great relationship and I apologized immediately that I took them with me. If i understand correctly she was hurt that I put them there behind her back, and that taking them was some indication I intended to cheat. She altogether questions that I only took one.
We had great make up sex and I should probably just drop it but I want to know if I really fucked up.
Q2: if you happen to agree with me that its not such a malicious act in that context..great. I don't really see what's wrong here. How do I explain to her my better safe than sorry approach to things and not enforce the ideas that I might cheat? | I was thinking better safe than sorry when I took a condom with me to bachelor party wife thinks I wanted to cheat. Did I fuck up? |
t3_1aglzu | AskReddit | [Girls of Reddit] Why do you keep flirting/chatting with guys you don't want to make relationships with? | Forgive me for my English. It's not my mother's language.
Soo this is my question: Why do girls like to talk with many different guys even if it's clearly they don't like them? I've spoken with many different girls about this subject but I still don't get it because all of them dodge my question. For example, a lady friend of mine is having a problem with a very annoying and unattractive guy who keep sending her messages every day and she wants to get rid of him. The thing is that *SHE** keeps talking and chatting with him, despite the fact that she wants him to stop. I got numerus examples of girls who told me that they don't want a guy to chat them, but for the same fucking reason, they keep responding to him !! Why are they doing this? I know from experience that if I want a girl to stop chatting to me, I will tell her. If she continues, I will simply delete her from Facebook. I think that those girls fool guys and that's something I can't stand for. I got fooled twice from girls I thought I liked but then I realised that I was one of the dozens guys she was talking with, at the same time! My sugestion is that they just like the fact that many guys want them. Just give me an clear explenation for this girls.! | Why in the name of god Do you speak with so many different guys If you don't want to make something with them? |
t3_31czhf | tifu | TIFU by farting candidly at my new job | I started working in a hospital this week and everythings been pretty great. Today I was pretty gassy and I've been crop dusting in halls that aren't traveled very often. I let out a huge one pretty close to my destination. I turn around and there is an elderly man standing right by ground zero. Two nurses walk by and immediately start questioning the man, asking if he pooed his pants. The poor man was denying it, but they eventually made him go check his pants. I would've said something but these nurses were hot and I'm an awful person. | Let one rip in a hospital and an old man took the blame and had to get his underwear checked. I'm an awful person. |
t3_2pino5 | relationships | [24 M] with my ___ [23 F] duration, short-description | We met a 2 months ago at a Halloween party I hosted, and we hit it off, talking, laughing and eventually getting hot and heavy.
I made an effort to not ruin this new relationship by sleeping with her on the first meeting, and for the next couple of weeks we could not stop talking to eachother. This woman happens to be one of my roommates best friends, and I know that she put in a really good word for me.
We met up again a couple of weekends later and hit it off again. Since then she seems to have gotten a bit cold, not really responding to me, specifically when I have asserted my keenness to meet up again (more than once).
It certainly feels like I am often just talking 'at' her, and she has never really asked me anything about myself.
My fear is that I have been too over zealous, and have come across as clingy, or potentially said something that ruined what feelings she had before.
The other plausible explanation is that she is too scared and damaged from her previous relationships (which i know to at least be a factor).
I need advice how to play this out, I really don't want to lose her, as I haven't felt like this in a long time;
Please help me from over thinking and ruining the chance to salvage whatever this relationship is.
I can provide more details, as it is slightly more complicated than I have let on, but I did not wan't want to inundate reddit with walls of text.
Thanks in advance! | A woman I am interested in, and I know who WAS interested in me, has recently stopped responding to me. I need advice how to make my next moves |
t3_3avzc4 | tifu | TIFU Slipped on water inside the washroom, and possibly breaking my arm. | This just happened today, and I am waiting at the emergency room. Figure I should submit it since I have the time.
About an hour ago, I was drying my hands with paper towels after washing my hands at work. Little did I know, droplets of water from my hands accumulated enough water on the ground to cause slippage? I was checking myself out in the mirror, and proceeded to pretend I was playing basketball. I did a jump-shot fade-away, and stepped on the water, slipped, and landed my on ass/elbow. I immediately feel this insane pain spreading my entire arm, and let out the loudest F-bomb while squirming on the floor. I managed to summon my entire office crew, and they had to carry me out of the washroom. My wife came and drove me up to the ER, and now I'm just waiting to see the doctor about the result of my stupidity. | Slipped on water puddle whiling doing a jump-shot, possibly broken my arm. Waiting in the ER to find out the level of my stupidity. |
t3_2yug82 | relationships | Me [17 M] with one of my best friends[17F] should i slowly pursue a relationship? | So, where to begin. I'm asking this because I don't know if I should as her birthday was just yesterday.
Background: I've known this girl( lets call her Kim) since last summer, and we started to talk a ton. I ended up asking her best friend to homecoming, and nothing sprouted from that. After homecoming, I slowly started to hang out with this girl, Kim, shes super fun and enjoyable. I ended up going to church with her as she's religious( I'm agnostic theist). After I guess awhile, introduced myself to her parents awhile ago, gone to her sister's basketball games. I've started to slowly grow more of a crush. She's a sweet attractive girl, and I'd like to think I'm attractive too. I workout and have a 6pack, 6ft, play varsity soccer, yet never really had a successful relationship.
The Problem: She likes someone else, however she says as friends it'd be awesome to go to prom with me. The problem is I don't know whether or not after prom I should pursue a relationship or confess or what to do. I gave her a birthday present yesterday, but she says she cannot accept it as she feels she'd owe me, but she's keeping the card and she says she loved the gift, and doesn't feel comfortable accepting it. And how the card means a lot and she loved that too. She wants to give me the gift back tomorrow.
Other opportunity: The last girl I went to homecoming with this past September, Jess, is a cheerleader and such a sweet person, but I fell for her and I believe confessed or tried to soon. I Believe I could go to prom easily with her however would 100% prefer to go to prom with Kim more. I just don't get what to do! | Falling for one of my best friends, she like another guy, may go to prom with her. Don't know how to approach the relationship, or what to do. |
t3_2ymgvb | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Friend [19 F] friends for a year, moving in together next month | I'm in a situation that I have never dealt with before. I am an 18 Y/O virgin who has no idea how to have a relationship. I have known this girl for about 6 months now through school. We are moving in together next month. She has recently broken up with her boyfriend of 3 years. I like everything about her and I feel like she also has feelings for me, but due to my inexperience, it is difficult to tell. I will be living with her for a year and we will start school again in October. I would like to be intimately closer with her because I have feelings that I have never felt before. I'm afraid that if I wait until school is finished, she will have found somebody else. | A female friend and I are moving in together on a year lease. We start school in October. Any advice on how to approach this situation? Should I just let it slide by or take action? |
t3_32avbv | relationship_advice | I [16/F] was recently dumped by [18/M]- may have a crush on a girl [14/F] now.. | So.. yeah. I dumped him in person, he came crawling back, and dumped me over text the next day. Done with that douchebag. x.x Anyway. That happened about 1-2 weeks ago.
Anyway. There's this wonderful girl I've been speaking to online. Granted, she does not have too much time to speak with me, because she lives in Minnesota, and I in Alaska. Plus, she loses her phone a lot.
She and I both know we have crushes on each-other- that's been established. I'm just holding back because even though I legitimately care about this girl, I have lots of doubts. I'm worried about this being a rebound- or being viewed as such. She's sweet and awesome, but I'm worried about long-distance. We probably would not be able to see each-other for about four years. And I'm just worried about what society will think.
Any ideas? | My ex-boyfriend was a douchebag, dumped me over text, and now I have feelings for a girl online. |
t3_sduaq | relationships | Girl wants to bang, I wouldn't mind... BUT! she's my buddy's sister. (20/M) | So I see this chick (19 yrs) fairly often recently at the bar. Known her for a while is she is a (formerly) close friend's (22 yrs) sister. He's not particularly close to her (he's been away from home for about 5 years); however I see him on campus often as we grew up together and are in the same program (I'm in first year, he's in third). Her and I almost left together tonight but I kind of avoided it for unrelated reasons. Now she's texting me saying that she's .. um, DTF, whenever I'm down. I'm not promiscuous but I know the difference between a fuck and a crazy chick, and I get the impression that it's the former. I don't lie though so if it ever came up in conversation with my friend I wouldn't deny. Is this dangerous? My impression right now is that it's not, but I've gotten in trouble before. | My childhood friend's little sister wants to bang, I'm down, but isn't there some taboo against doing that? |
t3_2b2d34 | relationships | How do I [22M] meet girls after graduating? | I got out of a long term (2 year) relationship recently, it was not mutual, I was dumped, and we still talk and see each other often, but I think moving on would help me, since I am past the sadness phase of it.
Having recently graduated University, and with a small group of friends I have in a circle of about 5 people, how do I go about meeting new people, specifically girls? I'm a fairly handsome guy, intelligent with a degree, well dressed, standard interests and nothing really weird but I can be slightly nerdy, so I'm not some lost causer weirdo haha!
Due to Uni being over, social groups have kinda just dissolved, and the perfect oppurtunity to meet like minded people my age is over. Before my last relationship I met girls through school, so it's really weird having no way of meeting people your age.
My last relationship was initiated via Twitter, she followed me, we spoke for a bit online, texted, met up and struck up a long and fruitful relationship. However 2 years on, this isn't going to cut it, and talking to random girls online isn't going to come to anything any more.
Tinder also isn't an option. I just don't like the idea of it, I'd prefer to meet someone I have a connection or interest with and build it up into something if I can rather than using a dating site/app. | Recently single, want to move on, finished Uni, small social group, how to meet girls and new people in general? |
t3_372yze | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [34 M/F] of several months, needs advice with what to say during sex | have been seeing this guy for a while and I really like him. I have had very limited sexual experience and I am also such an introvert that even when I hug, one arm comes up against my chest to push the person away against their chest while the other arm hugs. (I hope that makes sense?) Anyway at first he kept asking me why I was nervously laughing and I have no real answer, but that's how I am. So basically that was a prelude for the question I have as this type of person-- what can I say during sex? He wants me to say things, and I know you're just supposed to say what you feel but it's been the same repetitive thing for me, (it's so great, I love it, yes). Are there things that I can say to spice it up? Please tell me anything that you use or your partner uses; I would appreciate it so much. He keeps asking me what I like and I have no idea what to respond too. Thank you all | Guy I'm seeing wants me to talk during sex; Please tell me what you can say that's sexy as a woman. |
t3_4b9m3v | relationships | I (19F) am currently being cornered in my room by my roommates (19M/21F). I don't know what to do. | I'm seriously scared right now.
My roommates were really cool when we first met them like two-ish weeks ago. They helped pay the bills and whatnot. Lately, money has been disappearing from my wallet since they arrived, so I kept it hidden. They took it and moved it last night, stole the rest of my money, and are now demanding I reimburse their deposit and their half of the bills.
They have destroyed their room. I made them mad, and they abused my cats. They told me I better get them the money in a threatening tone, implying that they're going to do something bad if I don't.
Currently, I cannot leave my room. They were pressed against the door, and listening to what I was saying on the phone. They started banging on the door, but I ignored them, and they left. I don't know what to do. I'm really scared right now, because they both have a history of being violent.
I want them out of my apartment. They haven't even lived here two weeks yet. What should I do? I'm terrified right now. | roommates turned out to be violent and sketchy people. abused my cats, are now cornering me in my room. Can't leave in fear of being harmed or harassed. |
t3_4z885n | tifu | TIFU By accidentally ordering 44 Novelty Items | So, Obligatory Technically this happened yesterday, or yesterday night to be more accurate.
So I walked into my apartment, sloshed on wine. I was very, very intoxicated.. close to blackout type drunk. I have this thing where even if I'm completely wasted, I will still try to do productive stuff, particularly on my computer. Once I legitimately wrote a pretty good college paper while drunk as fuck at 4am, and it was completely without typos.
Anyway, I came home, and immediately got on the computer. I had been eyeing some stuff on Amazon earlier that day, so Zoom that's where I go. I bought like five novelty items for my desk, A tiny little catapult, a Tyrion figurine, etc. One of the items was a cool little glass prism that looks kind of neat when people walk by because it refracts light. Nice.
So apparently, and I still haven't figured out how I did this, I somehow accidentally hit 44 on the quantity.
I immediately contacted Amazon, but it's from a private seller, and I couldn't contact them. It already shipped out. I'm getting 44 prisms I guess. There were about 7 bucks a pop, so it ended up being around 400 bucks with my other purchases. | Got drunk, shopped on Amazon, bought 44 of the same novelty item, now they're coming to my house. |
t3_4t6x78 | relationships | My [19/M] roommate [18/M] keeps clogging the shower drain | Every time I go to take a shower, I see hair mixed in with some white stuff (not semen, thankfully) on the shower drain.
I know it's not me because he left for a week one time and it didn't happen when I was alone.
I've been picking out the hair myself because I can't shower with a clogged drain but the days I leave the hair there they stay, so either he knows and doesn't care, or doesn't know, which is odd because there is a drastic change in water level during the shower.
I'm leaving in two weeks so I don't want to confront him and there be tension, how can I get the message across that I don't want to keep picking his hair out of the shower drain?
I feel like talking to him about it would be weird because this is usually a girl problem and maybe I'm taking this whole thing out of proportion. | roommate clogs shower drain with hair every day, how do I get him to stop after its been happening for so long already |
t3_3b8x5l | relationships | My [21M] real first "crush [22F] just told me she's "into" someone else and I'm devastated, tips on handling the situation? | I've known her 6 months. It's been one of those shitty "I have feelings for you but you're too good a friend to risk losing" situations where she won't take a step further with me and start a relationship. If you wanna be cynical you could say she's been leading me on but yeah anyway...
I'm _super_ into her. I'm pretty invested and I've spent recent months showing her how much I'm into her. She's shown equal affection, but I guess never felt for me that deeply that she wanted more, or maybe she was being honest and truly didn't want to risk a friendship.
The past couple weeks she's been staying up super late, mentioning another guy friend and blabla. I asked her tonight if she had a new crush, and she said yeah maybe, but things are "new" and she wasn't sure. It's pretty obvious to me that things are going well between them, and for some reason I hate myself now. She let me down once in the past because she "couldn't get over an ex" and didn't want to "use me to get over him".
I'm devastated and feel sick - I feel stupid for liking this girl for so long, and espescially stupid for trusting her reasons for not wanting a relationship.
I guess she was my first real crush, I've never felt that way about anyone so far, even girls I've been in relationships with. Is it worth sticking this out for a few weeks and seeing if things change, or do I just try and move on? If I'm supposed to move on, what's the best way?
Sorry for the cookie-cutter post, I'm sure you've read this a million times, It just helps to get it out. | Girl who I've had a "thing" with for 6 months told me she's crushing on someone else and I feel stupid. |
t3_169g3h | relationships | [M25] My girlfriend[F23] is a social butterfly and feels the need to be friends/friendly with every person (usually guys) in a room. | We have been seeing each other for 2 years. Recently it has gotten worse and she has been hanging out alone with guy friends occasionally. We spoke about how this is inappropriate and disrespectful to your SO. We had a long talk/argument over it recently. Last week after work she went over her ex's apartment to "hangout" and watch a basketball game. She lied to me and told me she was at home with family. I found out because of her horrible ability to lie. She has mentioned before that they are friends and have nothing sexual going on between them. I asked why she would do that and she had no answer besides that she wanted a friend. Am I being paranoid/jealous? I feel if I continue to allow this "friendliness" to continue it will result in her cheating on me. I'm not the over protective jealous type but there comes a point where a man needs to stand his ground.
Secondly she is Jewish and I was raised Catholic (kind of). She has recently brought to my attention that although we are both very into each other that we do not have a future because her parents would not allow her to marry a non-Jew. I was offended religion would matter since neither one of us are really religious anyway. Should I cut this off before we get closer? | Girlfriend is overly friendly with guys and hangs out alone with "friends" sometimes. She swears she is just friendly and nothing sexual is going on. Am I being a sucker? |
t3_4laig9 | dating_advice | How should I reveal my BIGGEST insecurity? | So I've recently started online dating and have met a really cool girl. We have been texting for a little over a week now and IMO have really hit it off. We keep kicking around the idea of meeting up and that is awesome but at the same time terrifying to me...for one reason.
I wear a ball cap 99% of the time, therefore the pics I use on my profile show me in a hat. Last night she asked me for another picture so I pull my official work photo (no hat). All is well right?
Let me get to the problem...my bald spot! Obviously not visible with ball caps on and from a straight on picture, not visible either. How do I get over the fear that as soon as the time comes that she finally sees it, it will have a negative effect? I keep my hair closely buzzed but I have dark hair and the contrast between my hair and "the spot" is very defined. I don't have the head for completely shaven, so that's not an option at this point. I just need to get over this anxiety/insecurity. | I have a bald spot not noticeable on my dating profile, need advice and/or comforting that it won't change girl's mind when she finally sees it. |
t3_2gtc92 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my wife [25 F] of 3 years. My sister-in-law has been texting me vaguely raunchy stuff. | Hi /r/relationships!
This is probably a pretty mild issue based on what I've read here, but it's gotten to the point where I feel compelled to confront it.
I've been with my wife for 3 years. We dated for a little over a year before that. The relationship is perfect in that wonderfully imperfect way.
She has an older sister, same age as me. We've always gotten along really well. That said, even from the get-go, I felt like my now-sister-in-law was...interested in me. She'd stare at me whenever we had family outings, and was generally very apt to be in contact with me however she could. I figured as long as things are civil, there's no real need to worry.
The past few weeks, though, have seen her send a few crossy-the-liney messages. Not the exact messages, for sake of identification, but of equivalent intensity:
Me: poutine is one of the best things ever.
Her: Pshh...sex is the best thing ever ;)
Me: Check out song x.
Her: Damn, that's a sex song if I ever heard one. Turned me on.
Me: I need pizza.
Her: I need sex.
I have absolutely no interest in said sister beyond our already significant familial relationship. I like being close with my wife's family and treating them as my own. This is pretty wonky, though, and is sort of messing with that reality. Who do I talk to? My wife, then her? Just her? | Sister-in-law, who has shown prior interest in me, is starting to send me raunchy emails and texts. Mildly, but just enough that it's crossing the line in my book. How do? |
t3_4nnijz | relationships | Me [40 F] with my partner [40 M], got a huge promotion at work, is it too much to expect a phone call? | I need outsider's opinion on this... Yesterday (Friday) I was offered a huge promotion at work while my significant other was out of town with his friends/coworkers for an annual softball tournament. The tournament started today (Saturday) so yesterday they were just bumming around the city, drinking, hanging out and enjoying the weather. I texted to let him know and got a fairly warm reception to the news, but, how much detail can you share over text. I got a "wow!", "are you excited? Are you going to take it" and one "am proud of you" but that was it. Then he proceeded to go no contact for 10 hours.
I know if he had gotten a huge promotion, I would have had a ton of questions, especially if, like in this instance, it was completely unexpected. I would have broken away at some point to call. If only for a few minutes to say "congratulations" in person for shit sake.
I still haven't gotten over being hurt and I am wondering if I am being irrational. Is a texted "Am proud of you" enough? Or would a normal, considerate human being called to say congrats? | Got a huge promotion. Really only got a text reading "Am proud of you." Am hurt and wondering if I am overreacting. |
t3_28ji32 | needadvice | I would like to move to a European country from the USA for medical reasons. | I've been considering leaving the USA for some time now. I have some pretty hardcore medical problems and financially I have a very hard time handling them here. If something doesn't change for me soon, I'll almost certainly die in the next few years. I'm already past my 'expiration date' by a number of years. And my current cardiologists have no idea how long I have to go. They do believe If I don't get an infection anytime soon, I could live for at least 2 yrs.
My gf wants to have a child also. I'm not 100% sure if I want one since I doubt I'll be around for much of their life. My father died when I was a year old, and I'm not sure if I want that for my child. What I have isn't genetic but I was born with it.
I've been considering moving to a few countries that supposedly have great hospitals. Like Finland, Denmark and Iceland. I've also thought about Sweden. My gf is most worried about her getting a work visa. She works as a Blog editor right now in San Francisco. And makes a decent amount of money.
I however am as broke as a joke. I've been working hard to start a charity for kids with heart defects but because I'm sick so often I have a very hard time dedicating the amount of time needed for it.
I've tried nearly every major hospital in the USA to get a heart transplant but I've been rejected by all due to me being such a high risk due to the amount of scar tissue I have after having 14 heart surgeries.
I doubt I'll get a transplant in another country but it's at least worth a try. I just know this transition would be difficult but I would like to know how to make it easier on myself and what I should look into. What countries are hardest to get work visas for as a US Citizen. How hard is it to become a citizen of certain countries,etc? | Dying from heart problems I was born with. USA Hospitals are too expensive and I've exhausted all my outs across the US. Would like to try Europe as a last ditch effort to save my life. |
t3_1aaxdt | relationship_advice | [20/f] My best friend (20/f) recently got into a relationship but she doesn't know I have feelings for her. | I met this girl 7 months ago through a mutual friend and with time, we learned how much in common and how similar we are. So naturally, we became best friends. Because we attend the same university, it is easy for us to spend time with each other and we do so, every single day. I've always been jealous of another friend she had who she expressed to have feelings for. She confessed her feelings to him and he reciprocated but he rejected because he had feelings for another girl as well. They remained friends and only recently I found out that they have decided to date after things with the other girl went poorly.
When I found out, I had no words. I wanted to die. She didn't know why I was acting this way and what I keep telling her is that it's because I'm scared things won't be the same with her having a boyfriend. Although there is truth to that statement, that isn't completely it. The complete truth is that I have had immense feelings for my best friend for almost 5 months now and it's only getting stronger each day. She doesn't know this. No one knows this because I am "straight". I have no idea what to do and it's destroying our friendship. She's scared I'll push her away and I'm scared of the same. I'm scared because I know things will not be the same. When I think about them together, it makes me angry when I know she cares about someone who isn't me. Telling her I have feelings for her is NOT option. So I'm asking, what should I do to help cope with this without ruining our friendship? | My best friend doesn't know I have feelings for her and I don't know how to cope with her having a boyfriend without destroying our friendship. |
t3_1lfahb | legaladvice | I had to quit my job - North Carolina | I had to quit my job because of an unsafe work environment. At the store I worked at we would have gang members routinely go there to start a fight because they would take our 'body cleansers' and then fail their drug tests. Nothing came of it so far besides them going behind the counter and getting in your face. One day I got assaulted by a belligerent racist black lady there with her child present. She started throwing stuff at me out of the blue and ran out of the store. She managed to give me a black eye. I filed a police report on her and they ultimately never caught her. Turns out the company I worked for lied about having security cameras so there was no video of it happening. I called my manager and the regional manager and wasn't given option to take time off or transfer to a different location. I told them I couldn't work there because of all the hazards that came with it. I closed the store properly at the correct time, but didn't give a 2 week notice.
Fast forward five months I move to a different city and the same company wants to hire me at a different store. Two different managers tell me they are desperate for employees with experience and a good selling record, so I applied. The new regional manager in-charge is refusing to hire me and is blaming me for getting assaulted. He says that it was my fault for not having good enough customer service and that the customer is always right. He also said he would only look the other way if it was sexual assault instead of normal assault.
My family and friends have been begging me to lawyer up, but I don't expect much can be done. | Had to quit job because of getting threatened regularly and attacked. Same company wants to hire me again but is holding it against me when I was given no other real option than to grin and bear it. What can I even do? |
t3_1107dl | AskReddit | Proposed to my now fiance, kinda blew it need a way to make it up. | So I proposed and don't get me wrong it's been wonderful were madly in love and she's my perfect woman. Well the way I went about it seemed perfect. I was looking at a house to buy and I brought her to see it (huge fixer-uper). When we were there we discussed the future a little bit and all the other gushy stuff that young couples talk about (age 21) and then after all the talking was done I got on one knee and asked the big one. Well she was ecstatic almost passed out (I had to catch her lol). Skip ahead a few weeks. The deal on the house fell through, the guy decided he wanted to redo it and rent it out. So the romance is a bit lost on that. Well she told the story to someone at work and her response was "Wow that's a pretty crappy proposal story" The look on her face was just terrible and it broke my heart. She told me there were quite a few people that told her that. She was quiet for almost the rest of the night. I want to make it up to her and am not quite sure how to do it. (i'm usually pretty thoughtful i.e. blindfolded picnics in the park and setting up projectors to watch movies outside, stuff like that). But i'm just at a lost on this one. I'd just like her to have a story she can tell people where the romance wont be lost on them and she can be proud.
BTW she isn't upset(other than from the co-workers remarks) or mad or anything like that. She's not that type of girl. We are super happy but I just want to give her a story that she wont have to worry about things like that. | Fiances proposal story kinda sucks due to an unforseen mishap. Would like to give her a fairy tale proposal. |
t3_1dj0fs | relationships | [18M] How to build sexual tension/chemistry with friend [18F] after admitting feelings for each other. | So after moving to uni, I met this amazing girl who I became attracted to after the first few times we hung out. The only issue is that she was having issues with an ex that also lives on the same campus (unresolved feelings etc) and she confided in my about this (classic friendzone right?)
She ended up clearing up her feelings for her ex, and we discussed our feelings for each other. We spent minimum 2-3 hours together/day simply because we get along so well and we live in close-ish proximity.
However after staying over at hers for the third time last night and escalating things to the point of sex, she told me she was confused about the sexual chemistry between us.
I believe that because of the uncertainty about her and her ex in the early part of our friendship/relationship I stalled building any sexual tension/whatever because I didn't think she was available. Now I am at the point where we are at the overdue point of having sex and she is confused about our chemistry in the bedroom as that didn't exist when we were friends.
Obviously sex is a huge part of relationships and I want that chemistry/tension to exist so that we can explore our feelings for each other further.
Did we surpass the point of building sexual tension while we existed as friends, or is there still time to work on it? | Female friend of two months cleared up ex issues and admitted feelings for me, but is confused about sexual chemistry as we were friends for some time before escalating things? |
t3_1sd6eh | AskReddit | Reddit, HOW do I crawl out of this health insurance hole? | I'm a freelancer, living in Jersey, working in NYC. I pay a little over $1000 a month for Amerihealth insurance which "covers" my stay-at-home-wife and me. We currently pay out-of-pocket for my 5-year-old.
In September, I received a diagnosis which required tests and procedures, and I soon found that my $2500 deductible was actually not the limit. The fine print said I'd also be required to pay my wife's $2500 deductible before insurance would begin paying percentages of costs.
The bills have begun rolling in from the hospitals, the anesthesiologists, the private doctors...
The bank account is dropping to an alarming level. I'm anticipating more procedures in January, when I expect the deductibles to begin all over again.
We'd likely be better off if we'd had no insurance at all and I'd requested financial assistance.
I need aid now, but don't know where to start, as everyone I've spoken to says they offer no assistance for those who have insurance.
I tried signing up for Obamacare, but was unable to verify my identity on the site. I was given a number to call, but the rep at Experian was also unable to verify. This past week, a healthcare.gov rep told me to send a copy of my driver's license to a dept in KY, which I've done. He also said, "Expect a wait."
Do I drop my current insurance to save money, knowing they're gouging me anyway, and bank on Obamacare to come through for my pre-existing condition and coverage for my family? Is there an entity that can lend financial aid in a case like this?
I'd love it if I could develop a clear plan of action through some solid advice or shared experiences. Thanks for any thoughts. | I didn't read the fine print about how my insurance company would charge. Now I need advice on how to pay existing bills, and how to get my family properly covered while avoiding new, unreasonable costs. |
t3_2vfn7h | relationships | Me [22 F] with my BF [27 M] of 2 months, help me read his sudden coldness | I met my SO about two months ago and things have been going really well until this past weekend, when he went for a trip with his friends. I didn't go because I'm saving money for grad school and working at a restaurant to help with that. So I didn't really do anything besides work the whole weekend he was gone and I missed him a lot and told him as much. I didn't bombard him with texts and calls or anything like that but I just let him know he was missed and that I hoped he was having fun. He didn't really seem to miss me very much – which I think is pretty normal. He was on a fun trip with friends. It's normal for me to be the one to notice the absence more than him. But when he got back he brought up that it was alarming to him that I didn't have anything to do with myself when he isn't here. He says I should be able to do things on my own, etc. I feel like I DID do something on my own: I worked all weekend and made $450 to put towards my savings. He really made me feel like a clingy loser and I'm starting to think maybe my attachment to him is unmerited and maybe less requited than I previously thought.
So I took into consideration what he said and let him know that I would be doing more things on my own this week. So I let him know I was going to trivia with friends tonight and would be going to a dinner with friends tomorrow evening. I let him know that he was welcome to come or not – to just do as he pleased. But he let me know that he's choosing to not.
So, reddit, it sounds to me like he's pretty much just not that into me. Thoughts? | BF goes on trip for a weekend, comes back acting cold and tells me I need to do more stuff on my own. What's with the pull-away? |
t3_gw33j | relationships | Beyond the friend zone, apparently. | So for the past two years I guess, I've (f21) had a crush on this guy behind the bar that I go to(m27). We kind of silently flirted for months until one night when he wasn't working but was around on the night, we ended up sleeping together. It was my first one night stand, I was broken. Anyway, a year later, I was over it, we met on the same side of the bar again, talked it through and he said he felt awful about it and that wasn't him, then we ended up sleeping together again that night only for me to be blown off again (shame on me, I know).
Since then though we've been really friendly, have slept with each other numerous times in the last couple of months and phone/text each other all the time. I am practically his girlfriend with the amount we hangout and considering we always end up in bed... But a few weeks ago we were talking about the stalemate relationship situation and he said, shit you not, "You're more like a sister to me than anything...".
A sister? What the hell? To which my response was "but we've... and you were the one who initi-... WAT." And then we did sexy stuff a week later. What the hell is going on, what the hell am I supposed to say or do? I know this guy is just harmful but I think I'm falling, oh dear god, in love with him, because it's been a while since I've been this comfortable with someone and he shared similar sentiments that I am the only person in the last god knows how many years that he's been able to be himself around. | Good friends with guy, slept with a bunch of times, he says I'm 'like a sister' and that's why we can't be together, and then some more sexy times. |
t3_hryr1 | self | Hey reddit, for the over the last few years I've developed an odd and perverse habit, and I've decided to quit now | So awhile back, like maybe 2007 I think, 4chan was big into going into adult chatrooms and trolling people. I, being an impressionable teen at the time, went along with this. Basically the routine is that you'd string someone along for cybersex and then claim you were from the FBI, or start saying gross things. It was fun for awhile but then I started finding the pre-troll cybersex more and more arousing. Soon I was dropping the twist altogether and getting off on this in a major way. I would establish a persona each time I did it, finding random amateur pics I claimed were of me if people asked for them. Then I'd pick a few people and do the whole text-based cybersex scene, describing what I'm doing, all that. Sounds lame, but I have to say, some of the most satisfying orgasms I've had were from this. I did feel this was pretty weird and sort of gay, but it was my descriptions of the girl's role that I found arousing. I did also feel guilty about deceiving these guys but at the same time it was nice to think I had brightened their day.
I'm giving it up, though. I wish it was because I had come to terms with whatever strange disorder this reveals I have but it's really because it takes so much longer than masturbating the regular way and I shouldn't keep spending so much time on it.
I figure before I did I ought to tell someone, see if anyone has any interesting thoughts about it. | I'm a mid-20s male that used to go into adult chat rooms and have cybersex while pretending to be a girl. |
t3_t0s0b | relationships | Struggling with sexuality while I still have a boyfriend. What to do? | So I'm a freshman in college (19 year old female) and I think I've always known that I was queer. I've always had a kind of deep attraction to girls and I've been fine with it. Being bisexual was easy for me, and I only really started embracing it in college.
But I met this guy at the very beginning of the year and we've been dating since October (7 months). He's become my best friend, has supported me through one of my most difficult times, loves me no matter what. He's okay with my bisexuality and is even okay that I'm struggling right now.
However, it's gotten the point where I'm becoming less and less attracted to him *not* because he's unattractive but because I'm becoming more attracted to girls in general. Like, I can't get off when we're together and can only be turned on sexually when watching lesbian porn or thinking about girls I've hooked up with in the past.
He knows how hard I'm struggling with this and he still loves me and is supporting me, telling me to talk to people at our local LGBT resource center and whatnot, but it's getting to the point where I'm questioning not only my sexuality and the very fiber of who I am, but it's seriously affecting our relationship. He knows how I feel and doesn't want to break up, but a.) I'm not getting what I want from him sexually right now and b.) I feel like it's totally unfair to him.
I think the crux of the issue here is that I don't know whether I should break up with him or if we should stay together, because honestly, I am in love with him romantically but don't feel any sexual attraction to him (or males in general, at the moment) at all. That being said, my sexuality has a tendency to be very fluid and bounces around between being attracted to girls more or guys more at different times. It's just been particularly severe for quite a while now. Should I wait it out and try to get help or break up with him and risk losing him so that I can figure it out on my own? | Pretty sure I'm homosexual/heteroromantic and I'm dating a guy that I really love but am not currently sexually/physically attracted to. To break up or not to break up? |
t3_2sizho | tifu | TIFU by not going with my gut | I literally just went through this and all I gotta say is end it now. Got a dog with s/o that I've been with for 5 years early october. Mid october she received text from guy at 1am while we watch movie and I see dudes name pop up, think nothing of it. Next two nights same deal, suspicions arise. Ask her who it is and she says dude is asking her to cover shifts, but why so late s/o? Over the next four months they have been together behind my back and she gives excuse after excuse. Dog can't stay at her house b/c landlord issues so I end up taking care of him day and night whilst in school full time and sacrificed having a job to take care of him (aggresive untrained pit so 4 hours of walking each day to get energy out, cant stay at s/o work bc started fights, spend another 2-3 hours a day training him). Barely see her bc she's spending time with dude but plays it off as [input excuse]. Skip to december and dude sends me message on fb saying "thanks for taking care of dog. Me and s/o appreciate it very much blah blah blah". Dude doesn't know i'm ex-boyfriend. Been telling dude dog was theirs from early october. S/o gives me Game of Thrones teir long excuse that should honestly be a world record. | Sometimes sitting down and talking things out doesn't always work if you have suspicions. S/o of 5 years and i get dog and tells other dude its theirs whilst seeing him behind my back for 4 months. Should have read messages. |
t3_thl0c | AskReddit | Today a wizard stole my debit card and went on a magical shopping spree | I received a phone call from Visa fraud prevention today (which actually happened to be a recording asking me to call back O.o) and after speaking with them I was informed that there were some suspicious charges on my Visa debit card. The representative asked me if I had made the following purchases. Two $50 payments to Boost Mobile, One $30 Payment to Groupon, and One $600 payment to target.com. One of the $50 payments actually had gone through on my account and the others were pending at a value of $0.00
First of all, I never let my debit card go out of sight. I only use paypal for online transactions and how this person obtained my debit card number is beyond me. The only thing I can think of (after hours of research) is that someone placed a skimmer on an isolated and ghetto gas pump that I used yesterday on the way home from work.
The fraud prevention department blocked my card and told me to call my bank tomorrow in order to file a dispute which can take up to 30 days to be resolved!!! I am amazed at how insecure my transactions really are. I will definitely be the weirdo checking out every ATM and card swiper that I see from now on and possibly even switch to just using cash so this cant even happen anymore.
My question for you, reddit: How many of you have had your card numbers magically stolen, where do you think it happened, and how much damage was done before you found out? | today a wizard from the west coast stole my east coast debit card number and went on a magical shopping spree without even touching my card. |
t3_2el202 | relationships | How can you tell if it's time to break up or you've just hit a relationship rut (26F, 27M, together 5 years)? | I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years now. For the most part it's been really good. We rarely fight, and we share similar interests and hobbies. However, lately I just haven't been feeling the same. Sometimes, things are fine and normal, but sometimes I just feel completely uninterested in any affection or sex, it feels like more of a friendship. This seems to be a one-sided feeling. He seems perfectly content, and I'm not sure how or if I should bring up how I feel since I'm not quite sure exactly what I'm feeling or what's causing it.
Is it normal to hit random slumps like this or are we just growing apart from each other? If it's normal, how can I bring up how I'm feeling and how can we move past this together? | I sometimes feel like my boyfriend is more of a friend (but sometimes feel normal and relationshipy). Not sure what to do. |
t3_fx575 | AskReddit | I'm writing a paper about Reddit! Please help me find this TED talk on rewards. | Hello fellow redditors,
I think this website and the community it has grown into is something worth writing about, so I've picked it as the artifact for my Senior Thesis in Communications.
I'm currently writing about the karma system and how upvotes motivate people to be more helpful, charitable, albeit sometimes just witty. A long time ago, I watched a TED talk about how a similar "reward" system would work in real life, where arbitrary points would be given for an assortment of good deeds. I've scoured the website but I can't find it. Can anyone out there point me in the right direction?
Thank you! | I'm looking for a TED talk about a real-life karma system and I can't find it. Please help! |
t3_4jyjyn | relationships | Me [30M] just accepted a job offer. My [30sF] recruiter wants me to keep my interview tomorrow with another company. | I've been very fortunate to land interviews at 2 places (Company A and Company B) this week. Company A is my top choice and Company B is a solid backup. I interviewed at Company A yesterday and to my pleasant surprise, they offered me a few hours after the interview. I was SO excited - it's my dream job and the pay is great (more than I expected). I slept on it and happily accepted the offer this morning. I couldn't stop thinking about it - I'm just so excited to get started.
Now the problem... I have a scheduled interview with Company B tomorrow. I called my recruiter (not the same recruiter as the one who got me to Company A) and let her know that I wanted to cancel the interview. I know I won't be working for Company B, and I don't think it's fair to waste everyone's time. However, my recruiter is extremely upset and has been trying to guilt trip me into going. She says I'm ruining her relationship with Company B, and that it wouldn't reflect well on me to cancel with such little notice.
I'm not sure what to do. I still feel that it will be a waste of everyone's time for me to go and it won't be fair to the people at Company B who makes time to see me. On the other hand, I don't want to burn bridges with my recruiter if I need her/her company in the future. I probably messed up by accepting the offer so quickly. I could have pretended to entertain Company B and accept Company A's offer after interviewing with Company B. But as I said, that would be all pretend anyway. I knew I'd take Company A's offer the moment I got it. | Accepted job offer with Company A. Want to cancel interview with Company B tomorrow but recruiter is on my case and trying to guilt trip me into going anyway. Not sure if I should go. |
t3_14wtoc | relationship_advice | (21/m) working on getting with (21/f), spending time apart for break, need advice on my ways of thinking. | This girl I've been seeing the last month and a half or so isn't ready for a relationship because she only recently got out of a long one. I'm fine with that, I'm comfortable with what we have now, because she told me that given enough time, I do have a shot with her in the future.
We're in different countries for Christmas break for about 3 weeks. I won't be able to text or see her. We've been emailing a bit, but it still sucks not to be able to talk to her as much as I want. I want us to still be in the same place after we come back, but I'm having trouble thinking about all of this. I'm worried the time apart will give her time to think, and that she may come to the conclusion that we shouldn't ever be together. I don't know why, but I'm having to convince myself she won't hook up with other guys while she's back home and I'm away. There have been no signs that she's going to do that, she actually gave me her underwear with her perfume on it before I left for break, which I think is a pretty good sign for me. I know she lives in a fairly small town and that she could run into her ex. I know they were best friends before dating, but I think she told me she wasn't planning to hang out with him over break, but it's still not something that I can control so it sucks to think they could hang out and she could start having feelings for him again.
I'm hoping the time apart actually makes her realize she misses me and that there is something there. Is there any advice to how I can go about thinking she won't be hooking up with other guys or anything involving her ex? I know it sounds stupid and insecure, but something similar happened to me before where a girl said we'd be good after a break but it didn't work out. Are there any positives I should focus on for this time apart? I'm trying to convince myself there is no reason to think she'd actually hook up with other guys since there are no signs, and that I'm just overreacting. | spending time apart, need help thinking that this girl won't hook up with other guys or anything remotely close to it. |
t3_4m0ema | relationships | (19F)My friend (19F) found nude/sexy photos of me on her boyfriend's(22M) phone that HE saved from MY tumblr and now she's mad at ME | My english isn't that good so sorry for any errors.
Ok, so I've been friends with this girl since we were 6, always together, kinda like sisters.
She got with her boyfriend (who is also a good friend of mine) 2 years ago and they're super happy together.
I'm not as close with him as I am with her but we all get along and have fun and I love them both.
I post photos on my tumblr blog of me in lingerie/naked. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and I really love my body and enjoy showing it off. NOBODY from my life knows about this blog, Nobody has ever found out about this blog by accident either (had it for almost 3y now)
We all hung out yesterday and everything was fine however this morning I woke up to a wall of text (msg) from her, I had no idea what she was on about so I called, and she said she knows I've been sending photos to HER boyfriend and I should just come clean at this point, I told her I'd never betray her trust like that but she hung up on me and wouldn't pick up again or answer my texts.
I couldn't understand what was going on at first but then I figured that maybe he found my blog, saved the photos and she went through his phone and saw them? and thought I sent them?
I'm really confused and I feel awful cause I didn't DO ANYTHING WRONG and yet she thinks that I'm going around behind her back sending nudes to her boyfriend..
What should I do at this point? Do I try contact again? I texted her explaining what I think might have happened but I got no reply, but she probably thinks I'm lying which is SO frustrating!
Should I contact him? or is that gonna make it worse? | I've been posting lingerie/nudes on my tumblr blog that nobody knows about, friend found nude photos of me on her boyfriend's phone and thinks I sent them but I didn't. |
t3_49va06 | relationships | I [27 M] have a [27 F] SO, but thrown off/confused by suspected interest from a [27 F] friend. | Ok, so I've [27 M] been dating this girl for close to three months now, and we're having a great time. We really enjoy going out to do fun things, etc, everything's fantastic. We're both very attracted to each other.
Before we decided to go exclusive about a month ago, I went on a couple dates with another [27 F] girl. I really didn't feel any interest coming from her, so I stopped pursuing after hanging out with her and getting nowhere, even though I was definitely attracted to her.
After my gf and I go exclusive, the other girl reaches back out, wants to get drinks. I tell her I'm now in a serious relationship, and she comes back almost immediately comes back with "oh that's ok, I'm just looking for friendship right now," which a few people have told me is a lie to save herself from being shot down. Who knows though. So we go out for a few drinks, we talk about intimate stuff, have a great time, but nothing happens. We say we want to go out another time, but she flakes out, and it doesn't end up happening. Some more time goes by where we don't talk, and she reaches back out again, and wants to get drinks again.
So, now I'm totally confused. Is she interested, is she not? I won't cheat on my gf. I'm not about to throw something good away just for something that might be. I'm just more curious what her end game is here. It seems like she's been more interested ever since I told her I was seeing someone? Should I continue to go out for drinks with her? Am I completely overthinking this? | Can't figure out why a girl is more interested now that I'm not single. Possibly over-reading the situation. |
t3_1d8kht | relationships | What should my friend [23F] do about this guy? | So yesterday my friend went on a second date with this guy whom she met last month (they went on a date about 2 weeks ago). The guy wasn't her type according to her, and he didn't call her back or anything until this week when he invited her to a pub with a friend. They chat for a few hours until she hints that he needs to makes a move on her so he does, and afterwards he drives her back to her place. They chat in the car for a few hours.
She said she thought this guy was sorta nice that he eventually was attracted to him. So they started making out and messing around in the car. Then while he is asleep, she notices that he keeps on getting texts from a friend and she checks it. Apparently, the friend said if he had met any cute girls at the club and he said that he was with her and that they are cuddling outside her house (true) and that she is getting touchy feely. The guy said 'what is wrong with that?!' and he said 'i just don't want to mislead her.' But she told me that in the car they kept on making out so what exactly does this mean? She did NOT go all the way with him but they did make out and there was some touching. What should I tell her to do? She doesn't really like the guy too much either but she doesn't want to feel used cause a guy did that to her a few months ago. She has yet to be in a relationship cause most guys don't treat her right - it's sad. | Friend went on second date, they make out/mess around in car, then sees text to friend saying that he 'doesn't want to mislead her'. |
t3_1ieeo2 | relationships | Me[25/F] with my room mate [26/M] | I have feelings for my room mate. He is amazing, a great friend, and a great room mate.
We have slept together once a few months ago when we were both drunk and he had recently gotten out of a relationship. He told me then that he had always liked me and had a little crush on me. At this time I was indifferent to him, I liked the idea of him but did not fully appreciate how awesome of a person he is.The sex was not good. Neither one of us have talked about it and our other room mates don't know.
Currently, he does flirt with me a little bit when he is drunk but he does not seem in to me, just that he is drunk. I told my best friend about it and she said to move on because he doesn't like me like that. We are both on a dating site and he told me tonight about a date he is going on. I'm trying to hope it goes well. I want him to stay in my life even if it is only as friends. Sometimes I think that maybe he feels the same way but then I think that is my wishing he did.
Our other room mates are our mutual best friend and his boyfriend. As stated earlier neither know about any of this and I care about my best friend so much and would never want to hurt him or make things awkward. The current living situation is awesome and I really don't want to do anything stupid and mess it up. Thoughts or advice on how to handle this? What my outlook should be? | Have feelings for my room mate that are confusing, not sure if returned. Want them to stay in the living situation and not ruin the current relationship. |
t3_41xgwr | relationships | politics and marriage? My husband (32m) of ~1 year out libertarians Ron Swanson and I (33f) am progressive and am actively "Feeling the Bern." Fun disagreements are now huge problems. Can we get past this? | background: 2nd marriage for both of us, each bringing one kid to the mix. Both kids live with us near full time and for the most part we have an amazing new family. We had a very short but passionate courtship and a lot of "details"'were left out.
Husband is a mans man. He looks, acts, talks, thinks and has hobbies just like Ron Swanson from parks and rec. this was SUPER attractive to me because my ex and most men I meet are more "effite" liberal types. Nothing against men like this but it's just I wanted something different.
I knew right away we didn't totally agree on politics because I've been all in with Bernie Sanders since day 1. I volunteer, I donate money, I'm active on social media for Bernie, etc... My husband was sort of non-commital saying he like some of Bernies stuff but not all. I was content with him not being as passionate as I was but...
The former governor of Colorado just announced he was running for the Libertarian nomination. And my husband is now as excited as I am about Bernie and just as active. I so appreciate his passion but it took me a bit to figure out that liberatarians are for capitalism (!?!?!?!?) totally against nationalized healthcare (wtf!!!)and for tax cuts (give me a break)--basically neo-cons on steroids when it comes to economics. Socially they are ok but economically they want to basically let the rich run the world at the expense of poor people
I have no idea what to do. I love him and the man he is, I love his daughter and what she brings to my life and I love our life together and feel safe with him like I have with no other man. But his politics repulse me. I don't know if I can get past them as I want a progressive world where we know the government will take care of all people and that disgusts my husband. | husband is actively campaigning for a libertarian and I'm not sure I can live wit this as I see Bernie Sanders the only hope for our world. |
t3_1x5p5n | relationships | My boyfriend [24] plays WoW every waking moment of the day lately. How can I [26f] prevent this from becoming a regular habit? | My boyfriend started to play WoW again (he used to play before we started dating). His friends paid to reactivate his account. Since reactivating it about 2-3 weeks ago he is on the computer every waking moment of the day except for when he goes to work. Before WoW he played similar games, but he only played them a couple hours of the day. He also used to make more of an effort to hang out and talk with me since we both aren't home at the same time that often. Since Wow he literally gets up in the morning, goes on the computer, only leaves to go to the bathroom/eat, goes to work, comes home, goes back on the computer - you get the idea. He also said they're making him a 'guild master' or something - I am taking this to mean he's going to be spending even more time on the computer, or at very least he does not seem to be intending on changing his behavior/current gaming habits.
He told me he was going to look for a new job today since it was his day off. I haven't asked him yet, but I am almost 100% certain he did not do this. I am worried this will become the new normal for him. Not taking care of responsibilities and playing games the entire day. I need advice on how to tell him I am not ok with this gaming behavior. At the same time I do not want to be a nag... What is a happy medium?
To clarify, it's not the gaming in general I have a problem with. It's the amount of time he's investing in it, the change in his behavior with me, and the possible increasing lack of responsibility he's taking in his life. I would love to hear from people who have been in similar situations and what their outcome was. | Boyfriend is gaming all day every day since reactivating his account. How to I tell him I do not agree with this behavior without being a nag? |
t3_3x7kn1 | relationships | Boyfriend (18M) said something strange a few months ago and I (18F) am confused | To start off, I want to say that my boyfriend (of 5 years) and I have an overall very loving relationship. He is my best friend and I am his, he has never said anything concerning (other than this) ever and before you tell me to just break up with him, I'd like some advice on the situation.
So a few months ago my boyfriend and I were at a party. We were both pretty drunk. He started off by just telling me he loves me so much and wants to be with me forever and wants nothing more than me (you get the point). Then this is where the concerning part comes in. He somewhat jokingly says "If you ever cheated and got pregnant, I'd kill you." I was taken aback and just kinda started at him, and then he started laughing. I was like "Why would you say that, that's not funny?"
And he said "I was just joking babe, you know that." And then I just kind of went silent on him because it bothered me.
He kept insisting it was a joke and that he was sorry. So I just kind of left it at that.
So Reddit, to state again, my boyfriend has never been violent with me, always been very supportive, always tries to solve every argument efficiently without getting angry or even slightly heated. Do I just take it as a joke and move on? I wouldn't want to throw my relationship away over a one time joke. | Boyfriend of 5 years made a joke a few months back while drunk and I don't know what I should feel about it |
t3_1obimr | relationships | Some time ago, I [M/20] broke up with my gf [F/20] of 3.5 years. What do I do now? | Our relationship was problematic from the very beginning, we both are drastically different people with drastically different, shall we say, tempers and visions when it comes to relationships and love. I am more of a romantic, whereas she is more pragmatic and distanced. And even though we were doing mostly fine, though half a year ago it slowly started to break, and about a month ago we decided to end our relationship, at least in any romantical sense, considering that we're still friends, sort of.
Fast-forward a little bit, I'm at university, all my peers dispersed across the country, and even though I got to know few people from my group, it seems that every gal I'm interested in is already in relationship. What do I do, where should I start? | Broke up with girlfriend of 3.5 years, girls in my group are already taken. Where do I meet people, how do I start dating? |
t3_4245qb | relationships | My [19f] neighbor [50ish?] is really scary and makes me feel threatened. | I apoligize for any errors or mistakes. Im tying this on my phone and i'm really freaked out... I have a neighbor who is always drunk or high. He comes over to our house late at night or at odd times and knocks on our door asking to borrow money or for a ride. He comes barging into our house and hits on me and my friends. Hes really racist and will rant about black people for a long time even though hes black. He pulls my friends and I to him and make us hug him, which makes us uncomfortable...
He knew my boyfriend's old roomate and so him by extension, and now I guess he latched on to my boyfriend. My boyfriend gave him 10 dollars once because he felt bad, and he never got it back.
Then when my roomate moved in, my boyfriend and I forgot to warn him. And he loaned him $20. And after not seeing him for a while, he just showed up at our door demanding a ride. My roomate told him that he wasnt going to give him a ride anywhere without getting his money back. And he got kind of silent and angry looking and he said something like "I got you, I got you..." and maybe I am being paranoid, but I thought it sounded threatening. I locked the deadbolt and the doorknob, but I'm really freaked out... | My neighbor comes over asking for rides, he owes us money, and I feel like he could get violent. |
t3_1sdl01 | relationships | Girlfriend (18F) of two years broke up with me (18M) a month ago today. Tonight is the first night were not talking and at different parties. | Little back story. We dated for two years and she broke up with me a month ago today. She was perfect for me in every way possible.
We met randomly at a festival in my home town. I was walking with my friends and then these pretty girls come up and talk to us. There was this one brunette. Second I saw her, I knew she was going to be mine. My friend called dibs on some other chick and I had no problem.
She was perfect. She was funny, incredibly smart, extremely beautiful, so much fun to be around, and to top it all off, we just clicked. We never talked but we talked like we've been for years.
No one got me like her, so naturally, we became best friends. I never had a girlfriend before her. She never had a relationship past 4 months before me. My friends have never seen me so happy. We were the first people we had sex with, so there's that connection. And we had a pretty deep connection. Things started to change back in august/September. One thing led to another, and she broke up with me exactly one month ago. Enough back story.
She wants to take a break because she feels she has changed and wants to get back to how she was. I haven't doubts. Like if that's the actual reason but she's always been trustworthy , so I can't really question it, but I can still have my doubts. But the thing is she wants to try again in the future. Well I didn't like where our current relationship was heading. It was heading towards a open relationship and I don't want that so I stopped talking to her a and cut her out of my life... Almost. We still have each other in snapchat.
Tonight is the first night that we are out and not talking to each other. My biggest fear is her being with another guy and it so hard knowing that this could be happening right now or happened. | first night ex and myself are not talking and at separate parties. Just can't get the image of her with another guy out of my head |
t3_2t7sa8 | tifu | TIFU By having my girlfriend call a random stranger a "mooching bitch" | Just happened, so the fuck up is fresh.
At my work, we can't text or go on phones for fear that it will disrupt our work and all that, so naturally, we all do it anyway. It's all very clandestine and full of the wonders of secrecy.
Today, during work (10am), I get a text from my roommate asking me to be the unfortunate middle man in an exchange of notes. I agree because I don't have the gumption to refuse and tell him to get his own notes. So, while hiding my phone in front of me while I do my work, I stare straight ahead and text with my thumb while the rest of my hand is on the keyboard. This foray into phalanx gymnastics meant that my bosses were none the wiser while I broke the rules.
To make a short story short, I texted my girlfriend (who is in his class) the following:
"My roommate is requesting some of your notes. Would you mind helping him out? His number is ____. Feel free to call him a mooching bitch." She said she would. All was right in the world.
I felt pretty proud of myself for both my secrecy in texting while working and my ability to insult my roommate through another person. That didn't last at all.
At about 3 today, I get a message from both of them addressing my fuck up. I messed up one digit! One! Apparently, my finger yoga during work is not as good as I though. My roommate most likely failed whatever he needed the notes for and is probably gonna smack me when he gets home. I think worse than that is I inadvertently made my girlfriend send pictures of European history notes followed by "mooching bitch" to some random stranger who probably is taking personal offense to it and rolling on the floor sobbing or something. | Told gf the wrong number for my roommate and caused her to insult a perfect stranger who was most likely having a good day until that moment. |
t3_4crsoe | relationship_advice | My [30/M] SO's[F/27] past abusive relationship made an emotional impact which is affecting our current relationship. | My S.O. (F27) was in a 5-year abusive relationship (physically and verbally) a couple of years before we got together. She just recently told me about it after about 6 months of us dating. I believe her past trauma has led to the constant insecurity she exhibits. She apologizes for everything even when there is no cause to be sorry. (Example: I'll turn down her suggestion for something on Netflix and she'll apologize and will feel bad for even suggesting it). I have no doubt that she is willing to do ANYTHING to make us work which honestly is scary and more harmful to the relationship. (Example: She wanted to quit her well-paying dream job just so we could be in the same state while I'm at grad school for about a year. (Better examples are too long for here)) I'm at a loss of what to do for her. I have suggested and offered to pay for therapy, but she is reluctant to go because it involves opening up to a stranger. How can I help her being out of state? | SO's past abusive relationship has left a lasting impact on her and is affecting our current relationship. Looking for advice beyond send her to therapy. Thanks in advance. |
t3_3b0gjr | tifu | TIFU by becoming a teacher | I decided to become a teacher.
After years I finally started teaching at a school not very far from my hometown. Everything was great.
Then I noticed small letters saying "I <3 u" or "you are cute" stuff like that...
I didn't know what to do so I just ignored them, thinking it was just a teenage girl having a crush on me, nothing too bad.
Well, some day after class one of my students, a shy girl, waits in the classroom for all the classmates to leave.
Once we're alone, she tells me that she loves me and that we should run away and get married and what the fuck else.
I was stunned and just told her that I'm a teacher and that it isn't appropriate and she is not in my age and all that. Of course I had no interest at all since she was a student, 10+ years younger and I had a girlfriend.
Well, turns out she told her friends I grabbed her boobs and wanted to force her to sex and what the fuck else. They told their parents which called the girls' parents. Police and headmaster got involved.
This was around Christmas, but the fun part is coming now.
New year started, I lost my job because they couldn't trust me with students (young girls) anymore.
My girlfriend ran away because I was jobless, started drinking and because I was said to be a pedophile.
My best friend died from a drunk driver and I wasn't at his funeral because I was so drunk I didn't realize it at the time. *WHAT THE FUCK*
2 weeks ago, the lawsuit of the parents started and the way things are going I will be spending my summer holidays for the next 5 years in jail for something I didn't do. The girl killed herself around 4 months ago (assumed depression) and the parents are really pissed.
Well, around 6 years ago I fucked up by becoming a teacher. The reason I write this right now is because I'm sober the first time for weeks.
I really don't give a shit about spelling at this point as English is not my native language. | thats my story, i wanted to leave it here because "child rapists" are not very liked in jail I assume. |
t3_4jua0m | Advice | How to start something with a girl? | That's a really bad title. ^^
So, two years ago I liked this girl, Katherine. Being the bumbling idiotic 13 year old I was, I went straight up to the girl and asked her out. I stuttered and stammered over my words, but eventually got it out. She politely said no.
I messed up in two different ways. First off, the girl had pretty much no idea who I was. Second, I never even got to really know the girl. Eventually I got over this girl.
For the past few weeks I started thinking about her again and I realized I still was attracted to her. This time around, I want to do things right and not fail miserably again and generally create unwanted public embarrassment for myself.
I want to know how I should approach her again and attempt to start a friendship. | Liked a girl, asked her out, failed miserably. How should I approach her and try to be friends first? |
t3_3haf1u | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [20F] of one year says I say sorry so much so much that it has no meaning. | Hello,
this is the first time i'm ever posting so I apologize for any mistakes and formatting (on mobile).
But I really need your help. My girlfriend and I of one year (one year was yesterday) have had our ups and downs recently. I've always tried my hardest for her as well as not to get angry or mad at her when she does something to upset me. Although when I do get upset, it becomes more of her telling me I'm over sensitive and instead she gets upset/mad at me for how I feel. Which in turn becomes me trying to apologize to her.
Now just today something happened (personal between us) and she has asked for a break. After I apologized and told her lets talk things through which she did not, I dropped her home and she texted me "I have heard u say sorry so many times it has lost its meaning". Where do I go from here and how do I communicate in a situation such as this? I've tried so hard over this past year, but I feel like that text was unfair because of how I've been treated at times but didn't express it because I did not want an argument to come out of it. Or if I did it just would turn into me apologizing because she'd get upset with me. Any help and suggestions will be much appreciated. | Got into an argument, apologized and tried to talk it through, she did not want too. Now she asked for a break and says I apologize so much it has no meaning anymore. |
t3_3jk956 | Pets | Kitten Mental Problems? | A few weeks ago a cat of ours gave birth to 2-3 kittens (We didn't find them til about a week old). Her litter didn't make it except 1 and the kitten seems to have some problems. First of all it seems to have a lazy eye, and it seem to really enjoy hands? (If a hand is near it, it will climb on and stay there as long as you let it.) But my #1 concern is how it reacts to being held by it's mother, usually kittens legs curl up and it goes limp to allow for safe travel, but this kitten seem to stretch it's legs out when carried. I was worried that it was linked to some sort of muscle problem. | The kitten doesn't curl up when it's carried by it's mom, it stretches out it's legs and arms. |
t3_4340sd | personalfinance | Question on pension rolled over into trust- what happens with taxes and should I withdraw? | Ok! So I left my company about a year ago and had believed since I wasn't "vested" I was not going to get any pension or 401k payout. Flash forward to yesterday where I get a 1099-R for about $3600, which was confusing to me. I called the former employer and they advised they had sent me a check in February (which I never saw) and since I did not do anything with it, it was rolled over into a trust.
Questions!
1. Is this going to negatively impact filing my taxes this year?
2. Can I withdraw this money and use it?
3. I know it is probably best to put this into my current retirement account but I have about $60k of student loans, some at high (8-9% interest) so I was thinking of withdrawing this and paying down some of these high interest loans. | old company sent me pension money that's now in trust. Want to see if I can use and what tax implications can be. |
t3_4cvmyn | Dogtraining | Bath aggression? | Hi,
So I've got an almost 2 year old corgi. He's always hated baths, but the last two times I've given him a bath things got a little concerning for me. He knows the word ``bath time'' and as soon as I said it he started growling at me. He has a very specific growl when he is very scared or annoyed with another dog and this wasn't it. It was more the growl he uses when playing, but he was not happy. No other signs of aggression like raised hair, ears back, rigid stance or anything like that. He definitely did not want me to pick him up though.
His baths are not violent, horrible things (at least in my eyes). I usually fill the tub about two inches so I can splash a little underneath and run the shower. He will try to get out of the shower and move away from the running water. He often jumps up and grabs my arm with his front paws and sort of stands up as to get his front paws out of the water. He just looks so miserable when in the shower. What baffles me is that he loves swimming. At the dog park he just swims around for no reason. Even as a puppy, before he learned he could swim, he'd wade around in the shallows.
I try to change up how I bathe him so that maybe it's not so horrible. I've tried cold water, warm water, all bath no shower, all shower no bath, toys, treats, everything I can think of.
While I don't think he'd ever bite me, I'm concerned because this is the first time he's shown any aggression towards anyone. He's a very gentle dog. | My dog has started showing aggression about bath time, never shown aggression before, I've tried lot's of different things in the bath with no luck. |
t3_2mus0a | tifu | TiFU: My lightening quick fingers betrayed me! | I lurk here frequently and was hoping this day would never come...
I work in an office situation and I deal with the personal accounts of many clients. The background to this is that several people have left and I'm currently doing 3 people's jobs on my own and a government imposed deadline is looming, so stress levels are at maximum level.
An hour ago I was asked to send a client's accounts to a 3rd party, and I did that with no issues - job done! Then the office manager called 15 minutes later and said my boss wanted to know if it was done - so I went to forward the email to her (she was already cc'd in on it, but she never checks). I'm lazy so I use a lot of keyboard shortcuts. I typed the first few letters of her name, hit tab then press Ctrl + Shift to send it. As soon as I lifted my fingers from Ctrl + Shift I saw that the name in the To: bar was not my bosses but another, separate client.
Stomach churning and furiously clicking away I watched as the email left my outbox and popped up in my sent box as I tried to stop my send/receive progress. The damage was done! I recalled the message (the only blessing outlook really has) and tried to call the 2nd client to tell them to delete the email without reading it. Turns out she is away until Tuesday so I am hoping as soon as she opens her email program (fingers crossed they use Outlook) it just automatically recalls and deletes.
This is a very volatile client and if she sees someone else's accounts in her inbox, she will assume we are careless and do the same thing with their information and technically this is a breach of confidentiality that I can actually get fired for.
You've probably heard this story so many times before! But this is my first time I've actually done it and always thought that people sending emails without checking first and getting it a mess like this are idiots. Yes, I'll pick my idiot pass up at the door. | I prematurely hit 'send' on an email, sending one clients confidential information to another, completely separate client and this is a dismissible offence where I work. |
t3_2q85i0 | relationships | How do I [24M] tell my girlfriend [22F] of 5+years she is boring? | I'm at a really exciting part of my life right now. I'm inspired, working with some brilliant people, and doing something that I love. I'm happy and I have all this energy, but it's a buzzkill when I come home in the evening and the only thing my girlfriend can talk about is what happened on the latest reality TV show. I'm afraid this is going to quickly lead to me getting bored with the relationship, and I don't want that. I just don't know how to best communicate my feelings with her without sounding like a condescending asshole.
I just wish she would find a hobby, start playing the piano again, maybe get her master's degree. Anything really. I just want her to do something she's passionate about, something that can inspire me and make me excited for her. I need someone in my life who can challenge me intellectually, emotionally, and physically, and I'm just not getting that right now. | Girlfriend is living a dull life. I wish she would find something to be passionate about, but I don't know how to communicate that to her. |
t3_1dj15v | relationships | Am I being self destructive [22m] | So I [22] have been with my girlfriend [19] for about a year now and I love her to death. Up until about 2 weeks ago, I thought that I would marry her and be with her for the rest of my life.
That changed about a 2 weeks ago, though. I went on a vacation without her where I was essentially single for a week. I didn't do anything, and never thought about it. I would never cheat on her or would want to hurt her, I love her to much.
I did, on the other hand, realize that I am only 22 years old, and I still have so much more I can experience. On one hand, I love her so much and do want to spend the rest of my life with her, but on the other, I don't know if I want to be in a relationship right now. I just feel like the timing is off, and I don't want to hurt her/I don't know if I will just be hurting my self in the end. | I am unsure of being in a relationship at this point of my life, even though I love the girl I am with. |
t3_e9u1x | AskReddit | Failing my first college course, what should I do? | Hey, a little bit about me I guess. I spent my first two years of school going to my local community college. I managed pretty good grades (at least one or two As every semester with the rest Bs and a rare C) and I really enjoyed my experience there. I learned a lot and was able to work 20 hours a week at my local grocery store, hang with my friends, and keep up in a busy alternative rock band. Now, I'm a junior in college and spending my first semester away from home at university. Being a secluded individual most of my life and having little time to party in community college I have thoroughly embraced college by spending every second hanging out with friends and getting to know anyone I can. Well I've got a term paper due at 10 o'clock today which is not nearly finished and is worth 60% of my grade. My professor has already told the class that he will refuse extensions. Its also way to late to drop or withdraw from the course. Personally I hate failure but I also can not stand disappointing other people so its going to be hard telling my parents. Oh, and my GPA is currently at 0 because of my transfer so this will really screw things up. | failing and I need to tell my parents. Is there anyway I can do this and still have them believe i am responsible and capable in college. |
t3_fv684 | AskReddit | A friend of mine just bought a new car. Now the dealership realizes that they gave her a price that they we're technically not allowed to provide so they are asking for the car back or a change in the contract. More details inside. Is this legal? | So my friend has enough cash on hand to buy this car straight out. The dealership was offering a student discount of $1000 if she financed for atleast 90 days. Furthermore, the dealership allowed the buyer to make a choice between $750 off the retail price or a 1.9% finance rate. Since my friend was just going to take the student discount (by financing) and pay the balance at the end of 90 days, she took the additional $750 since the finance fee wouldn't be affecting her too much over 90 days. NOW the dealership has called, after the contract has been signed and my friend has driven three hours home with her new car, and is telling her that they weren't supposed to give her the student discount. They are telling her that she will either have to pay an additional $1000 (to make up for the student discount) or return the car back to the dealership. Is this legal? Once a contract has been signed, is the dealership obligated to honor that contract? Any help would be appreciated. I can answer any questions about the contract as I have it on hand. | Friend bought a car and signed a contract. Now dealership wants more money than is written in the contract. Is this legal? |
t3_jotr2 | AskReddit | Jackass of a flatmate. | So I moved in with a guy I worked with for a year, then remained friends with across the country for another year.
Then, we moved in to a flat for our new jobs.
This guy is batshit crazy! He drinks and smokes weed from the time he wakes up 'til he sleeps. In itself, not a problem for me, but he drinks either half a bottle of navy rum and 2 bottles of red wine or 3 bottles of wine.
Big problem being that he can't handle this amount of intake of alcohol. He sits in a stooper, swearing constantly and taking digs at me if I'm in the room. If I leave the room to go listen to music (avec headphones) I can still hear him shouting unintelligible nonsense from 3 rooms away.
Also, he's taking anything of mine as his own. This includes a full bottle of J Walker Black, around £70 of food and pretty much anything I leave in the TV room.
The last straw for me was last night he ATE MY FRIED CHICKEN! This was no ordinary amount of chicken either. It was intended to be for 6 people, I fancied buying it cheaper in bulk and eating it portion at a time. First world problem sure, but he took £20 worth of food, cooked a few pieces then just dumped the rest in the bin.
So ladies and gents, what do you think I should do to deal with this monstrous chicken-stealer? | My new flatmate is stealing food, drinks and tobacco from me and is a verbally-abusive drunk every night. |
t3_jwndn | relationship_advice | Boyfriend wants to live together next summer... I want to but I feel like I need to focus on other things. | 20m and 20f. I am currently living abroad for the academic year while my boyfriend stays behind at the university we go to together. We have been together for sometime now and are pretty serious. I feel like we got even more serious as a couple when we made plans about making it through the year apart/travel arrangements for visits, etc. Because of this (I believe), he has mentioned how he wants to have us live together next summer.
Here's the dilemma: I have always wanted to live with him; he's such an amazing guy and I really think we'd be compatible in a living situation. However, I would move into the same city as my university: a small town with little access to the kind of internships or employment opportunities I'm looking for. Secondly, I wouldn't have a car to commute to a large city. I'm a relatively ambitious person and I was planning on using this summer to expand my resume and build some more marketable skills in preparation for grad school applications next fall.
Essentially, I can't figure out if this is a situation that requires a *choice*. I want to move in with him one day but the summertime isn't convenient for me or my academic aspirations. But it feels like this is my boyfriend's attempt to take the "first step" towards a more serious relationship and he wants to use the summer as a less stressful opportunity to see if we can live together before trying to do it during the school year.
I can't figure out a way to *both* live with him and do something productive over the summer so, in my estimations, it seems like I have to choose.
This decision is about 6 months away so there's time but I do need to know if I should be looking into internships/employment since most application deadlines are approaching. | Should I move in with my boyfriend next summer (like I've always wanted to) and give up a summer opportunity to find an internship or similar activity in preparation for graduate school? |
t3_kvb3z | AskReddit | AskReddit, what's the ballsiest/dumbest thing you or someone did while in class? | I have two.
1.) In a sociology class we were discussing socially unacceptable things, and it turned into people basically just telling stories of bad things they had done. Eventually it got to cheating in school, and I raised my hand and told the entire class and professor that I had made up every single source I've ever credited in a paper. At the end of the year we had to write a research paper, and sure enough I made up my sources and turned it in. She never said a word.
2.) A friend of mine was taking a gender studies night class, that consisted of 90% women may of which were older, and him. We'll call him, Todd. One night they were discussing socially acceptable circumstances for traditionally negative things, and the last one discussed was 'rape'. The professor asked if anyone knew of when rape was okay. No one raised their hand. Todd, who was working on homework for a Mechanical Engineering class mumbled under his breathe, "well, I mean if she's your property..." Apparently he said it too loud, and the entire class heard him. All of a sudden he hears a few chairs slide back, and women standing up looking like they were getting ready to fight him. All the while he's laughing. The professor chimed in and said, "actually yes, Todd, you're right. In some places in the world, women are considered property, and this would be socially acceptable." He said for the rest of the year that everyone in the class was extremely rude to him, and gave him dirty looks every time he made eye contact. | Told a professor I've made up every source for research papers I'd ever done. A friend told a gender studies course that rape was okay as long as she was your property. |
t3_qsd2q | AskReddit | What is the best reason you've heard that lead to a confession of something they would have otherwise gotten away with. I'll start... | I'm looking for entertaining stories of people getting tricked, or fooling themselves into a confession that if they had just kept quiet, they would have gotten away with. Here's mine:
A few years ago, my mother called me up and said that she had just found a two page confession from my brother about how for the previous two nights he was waiting for her to fall asleep and then taking her SUV to pick up friends and head to the beach. My brother was not known for his high regards of rules (and he did not have his license at the time either), so the act of him doing something like this did not actually come as a shock to anyone.
What actually did surprise any of us was, that for no apparent reason, he actually confessed to it. Since no one actually believed that he had a change of heart at the time, my mother had asked me to try to figure out why he felt he needed to confess to something he had not actually been caught doing.
The obvious first question I asked was if there was anything wrong with the car. Other then it was a little bit dirtier, which she wouldn't have noticed anyways, there was nothing wrong. Of course we started thinking about drugs, or maybe he got some girl pregnant, or run in with cops, but we figured any of that would have been in the confession to go a long with the beach story.
I figured it out once I got in my own car, when remembered that cars have the anti-theft device where the steering wheel will lock and to unlock it you have to turn the wheel to turn the key in the ignition. When I brought this up to my brother, he admitted that when he was getting out of the SUV, he heard a click, and when he tried to turn the car back on, the key wouldn't turn, thus he thought he had broken the car's ignition.
I felt kind of bad for the guy when I told him all he had to do was turn the steering wheel to turn the key, but then I remembered he didn't invite me to the beach. | brother "borrowed" mom's car without a license to go to beach late at night, thought he broke the ignition because he didnt know you had to turn steering wheel to turn key. |
t3_31ykfj | relationships | How do I [23/m] keep her [22/f] interested during the times we can't see each other? | I've [23/m] been seeing this girl [22/f] for a couple of weeks now and we've been on 4 dates. I'm super into her, and from what I can tell, she's super into me. We've already had sex, are affectionate in public, super compatible, it's all been really great and I'm already thinking about how I can turn this into a committed relationship.
What I'm struggling with is keeping her interested during the times I can't see her. For example, I saw her monday and won't be able to see her again until friday. We've been sending a few texts back and forth, but I feel like this doesn't really grow the attraction between us. Instead it kind of feels like a holding pattern until Friday when I see her. I also feel like I'm losing the ground I've gained on our dates, and she could potentially be losing interest, though she keeps agreeing to see me so I don't think that's the case just yet.
I'd love to call her to just talk, but we're both very busy people and I'm not always sure when she's free, I also don't want to come off needy or interrupt whatever she's got going on with a phone call. Any ideas? How can I keep her on the hook when we can't see each other? | Early stages of dating a girl, how do I keep her interested during the times we can't see each other without coming off needy? |
t3_3yq2bv | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] Have been together for about 6-7 months now but... | Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6-7 months now (Both 17) but recently, she has started acting differently, for example, she never messages me first and doesn't seem interested in me much anymore. She always cancels plans that we have and seems to want to go if we ever do meet up. She never ever really says that she loves me anymore and even if I do say it first she'll only sometimes say it back and whenever I ask her about it she says she doesn't mean to but it doesn't feel like the truth. She never tells me anything at all either and not to mention how she seems to hate to hug and kiss me or anything like that even if it's just holding hands both in public and private...
I do try to be there for her whenever I can be and I do give her space when need be but half the time it feels like she couldn't care less. However, she is a naturally shy person but up until recently she has been fine.
I've spoken about this to her but she just gets mad at me and ignores me or she just says 'don't worry' and things like that. I really don't know what to do :/ | Essentially, she doesn't seem to want to be around me anymore yet still claims to like me despite never saying that she loves me... what does this mean and what should I do? |
t3_3etz5b | relationships | I've (22,F) never been in any form of relationship and I'm starting to feel as though there is something seriously wrong with me. | I'm 22, educated, have a good job and I'm not unattractive and yet I've never had any form of relationship that wasn't casual sex.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me - I don't feel like I've ever met anyone that I would want to be in a relationship with and I also don't think anyone has had the faintest want or desire to be in a relationship with either. I'm also not desperate and wouldn't just settle for something I didn't feel was right. Maybe I'm too picky?
I'm not sure why I'm suddenly so down about it - I think it's because I've recently moved back to my parents house and got a job in my home town after living away from home for the last four years to complete my BA and my MA.
Lots of my friends are in steady, long term relationships and sometimes I just get incredibly down about it when it seems so damn easy for people to flit from relationship to relationship.
I'm just very lonely right now and I feel like I have all these exciting things to do with my life but nobody to share it with.
Does anyone else at a similar age to me feel this way? I don't know. I just feel so lonely and miserable lately about the whole thing.
I also don't know HOW to meet people that aren't just looking for casual sex and perhaps something more serious. | I'm single, lonely and I don't know how else to people. Seeing all my friends loved up in long term relationships is depressing and j want to know I'm not alone. |
t3_3w63zp | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend of two years [23M] has a hard time understanding my self-esteem issues. | Me and my boyfriend live two hours away from each other, I'm in 2nd year of university as well as working, bf is just working for now. We have plans to move in together next June so we have a solution to get out of the long distance part. Although we have been at it for a while and always make effort to see each other has often as possible, sometimes I feel like I can't keep him satisfied.
I suffer from an anxiety disorder with sometimes symptoms from depression as well. During the summer I was doing quite well but in the last couple months I have been overworking with both work and university, have been heavily sleep deprived and my anxiety has gone through the roof. I have had little to no time for myself and because of this I have ended up gaining 22 pounds/10kg and I feel awful about it. My already low self-esteem has plummeted and I can't bare to look at myself naked, let alone let my boyfriend see me naked on FaceTime, snapchat, etc. Before going on medication I already had a low sex drive but as all the stress has piled up, weeks have gone by without me thinking about sex or feeling aroused.
Although my boyfriend is aware of my condition, it feels like he doesn't truly understand how disgusting I feel and how undressing in front of him even for a few seconds of FaceTime makes me feel so uncomfortable I'd rather have an argument over it. He feels like I'm not attracted to him anymore, I know he means well and loves me but I am really struggling to make him understand my situation. I am seeing him in two weeks and although I am really excited to see him, the thought of sex gets me really insecure.
Don't get me wrong, I love the intimacy and sex life we have (obviously wishing we weren't apart most of the time) but I am currently so uncomfortable in my own body I will do anything to avoid showing it to him or even myself, although I love him dearly and know he wants me to feel good. Does anyone else have experienced with this? I'd like to hear how others have dealt with their own self-esteem issues in relationships. | I have low self-esteem and I feel like I can't keep my boyfriend happy in a long distance relationship. How can I help him understand? |
t3_3mweax | tifu | Tifu by listening to one direction | Hey reddit,
really thought i would never make one of these in my lifetime, (about car accidents anayway). So, without further ado.
Its 3:35 pm, i just got rejected pretty embarrassingly (she said "No" pretty quickly, and loud lol) by a girl i really liked, Being in high school shit like this spread like wildfire, plus all of my teachers assigned a shit ton of homework, so i wanted to get the fuck home as soon as possible. I thought to myself what could be worse and OF COURSE life had to prove me wrong.
So there i was driving out of the school, when the radio station started playing One Direction (How fucking odd considered it played 90s music most of the time). Of course like a stereotypical teen age boy i loathed one D. literally the last thing i needed was this unholy mixture of musical notes that they called a song, to be played in my vehicle. I thought i could endure it since i was coming out of my school campus and theres kids usually jaywalking left right and center. But in my current situation i was pretty irritable, i just could not handle this amalgamation that is playing through my speakers. I look down ever so quickly to switch the station when suddenly every vehicle in front of me stopped (note: it was bumper to bumper traffic) and i hit the vehicle in front of me. Luckily i was only doing 20 km/h and there was only minor damage to the exterior of both hers and mine vehicle. Fuck you life (and 1 Direction).
Oh god I can only imagine the type of roasting im gonna be receiving from the squad and everyone else tomr. Wish me luck reddit. | was having bad day, couldnt handle listening to one D, tried switch rdio stations and i crashed into vehicle ahead. |
t3_3symg7 | relationships | What should I [F/15] do about this crazy girl [F/15] at school? | Okay, I used to be friends with this girl, but then she started getting all paranoid. She thinks I was flirting with her b/f behind her back, which is not true in any way. Heck, I only tolerated him because they were dating. Anyway, things kept getting worse and worse between us and then finally one day she cornered me in the bathroom. When I tried to leave, she threw a punch at me and so I had to defend myself. Two of her friends were there watching to make sure I didn't get away. A teacher walking by heard the noise and came in and broke the whole thing up.
We got hauled down to the principal's office and the police were called. Her friends claimed I started the fight and I ended up leaving the school in handcuffs. Luckily, I wasn't expelled or anything. But I was given ISS (in-school suspension).
The worst part of all this is what happened on Friday. I had to go to juvenile court. She and her two friends have maintained their version of events through all this and I was found guilty. I was sentenced to spend Thanksgiving break in juvie. Next Friday evening is when I have to go in and I won't get out until the evening of the 29th, nine days later.
I don't know what to expect when I go in. I've never been in trouble with the law before, so this is all new territory. But my main concern is what to do once I'm out. This girl really has me scared now and I don't know what to do. I really don't want to have to change schools all on account of her. Can anyone think of any alternatives? I could really use some help on this one. | A crazy girl at my school thinks I was flirting with her b/f and is out to get me. What should I do? |
t3_2gwq0r | tifu | TIFU by getting out of bed | So, the Summer has been Hot and the light levels high
My house has very small opening windows, but we have a huge opening window on the landing between my bedroom and the bathroom, so all Summer it has been open and uncovered..no curtains and the cooling breezes have been great. We do this every Summer
I sleep naked, and I go to the bathroom, no probs.
The mornings are getting darker and this morning was the turning point. I got up at 6 am as normal and ..its dark..... so I switched on the landing light between my bedroom and the bathroom.
I did not think about the view, normally it is so cold by now that all curtains are shut tight to keep the heat in when it is dark. I did not think that because I could see in three of my neighbours houses, they could see in mine.........
So I walked to the bathroom
........and get in the shower
and my neighbour shouts to me from his house ( widows open remember)
YOU MAY WANT TO SHAVE THAT!!!!!! | just found out my neighbour can see in my bathroom if the landing curtains are open......... after 8 yrs in the same house |
t3_3wdqt9 | relationships | Me [33 M] with my wife [30 F] of 3yrs (together 12). I think she's having an affair: how do I bring it up? | She recently got a new job and is now working with someone [50s M] prestigious in her field. Through reading her texts between the two of them, I know she is emotionally involved but not sure about the physical aspect. I didn't want to read her texts until we had a blow up argument last week and when I mentioned him, she got really defensive.
I don't want to bring it up now because I am in sales so I travel pretty consistently M-Th, so clearly bringing it up before I have all my shit together may not work out well. Plus, we are going to my family's home for Christmas so that is an extra wrinkle.
I'm fairly certain that the routes are either that A) she's cheating and I'm peace-out B) she's cheating and she repents and we most definitely have her change jobs or C) she's not cheating and I'm an idiot, but those texts have a lot of hearts and XOXO type stuff, which she never has done in our 12 year relationship.
I feel like shit because i know she's at least emotionally involved and I couldn't sleep last night. I need to get this out and talk to her but I don't know the best way to go about it.
Also, I am more talkative and emotional. My wife is more stoic and emotionally disconnected. She doesn't like to talk about her feelings and most arguments end in no resolution, but just her saying she can't deal with this and walks away/out. | wife is emotionally cheating maybe physically, not sure i want to bring it up with holiday travel, how should I go about it? |
t3_150c22 | relationships | [18f] My boyfriend [25m] is significantly older than me, and I don't know how to tell my parents. | I [18f] just started my first year in college, and I met this guy [25m] on OkCupid and we hit it off really well. We've been dating for about 5 months, and I'm crazy about him. I told my parents that he's 19 because I panicked when they started asking me questions about him. I'm a terrible liar. I really don't want to tell my parents how old he is because they're old and a little more traditional, and my mom overreacts to everything and she would have a heart attack. Even if they eventually accepted it, I know there would be lots of fights and tears shed, and I don't know if I can handle that emotionally.
Unfortunately, I was planning on telling my parents about a month ago, so I told my sister [30] first. She's even more traditional about things like this, so she got really upset and made me cry a lot by telling me why our relationship is wrong. Now she's pressuring me to tell my parents, but I really don't know if I can handle it.
Is there any way I can get out of this? Or, is there any way I can avoid a huge ordeal when I tell my parents? | My boyfriend is 6.5 years older than me and my parents don't know, but my sister is pressuring me to tell them. Wat do. |
t3_4uudon | personalfinance | Individual 401k vs holding in a bank | Oh HAI PF!
So I'm currently: 24M, Single, 55K/yr in low COL area.
My living expenses are about $800-$1000/mo (working on getting them a bit lower), and I've got healthcare through my parents for the next year (Thanks Obama!)
Currently I have 11K in a ROTH IRA, ~14K in long term investments for a down payment on a home/future kid's college, and ~8K liquid between savings accounts. Note, my wages aren't withheld so at next tax season, uncle sam is going to take between $13-$18k
My employer has me working as a contractor, so I have the potential to set up a small business (LLC, S corp, or something similar) in order to have the ability to contribute to an individual 401k.
However, I'm wondering what the major advantage of an individual 401k is verses simply holding the amount I would contribute in other funds. I'm aware that I would then get taxed on the income, but I feel like the tax on the income would be less than the tax would be after the 401k matures.
Additionally, I don't plan on remaining a contractor for much longer than 3-5 years as I'll eventually need healthcare for myself/my future wife/children. As such, I'm thinking that my better play is to wait until I have an employer 401k and then dump what I have saved then. (Because, even with a raise of the century, I don't see how I could continuously meet $18K on a 401k max + $5.5K on an IRA) | If I'm planning to just save money for my early career rather than use an official individual 401k, How screwed would this make me? |
t3_395maz | relationships | Should I [m17] look at my ex's [f18] social network pages? Breakup recovery tips? | My girlfriend broke up with me about a month or two ago. It still hurts really bad. I've recently unfolllowed/unfriended her on all social networking platforms eg twitter, snapchat, instagram, facebook, because seeing her doing things without me is just strange and seeing her doing things that she wouldn't usually do with me is even worse.
I spend half my time at the moment looking to the future and feeling okay without my girlfriend. But I spend the other half (now) really missing her, I find myself wanting to look on her social sites to see what shes been doing, even though most of the time I don't like what I see. Is it healthy for me to look on her pages? Should I refrain?
Was it a good idea to unfollow her in the first place? I need to move on with my life, soon I will be at university and the situation probably wont even matter anymore, but I have 3 months to kill until then, any tips to keep me on the right path? I've been through the stages of getting drunk and texting her stupid things and trying to beg her back, I'm young, she was my first love, so although I regret doing it I feel it was justifiable. But progress has been made, just could do with some support/pointers as to how to keep moving forward. | Is it okay to look at my ex's social network profiles because I miss her? Although I usually dislike what I see. Break up recovery is hard, send help. |
t3_2e8iyt | legaladvice | I got swindled out of several hundred dollars from a friend. What is the best course of action for me? [Los Angeles-CA] | Hi all!
Around November of 2012, my ex's sister approached me in person about needing a loan. She said that her family (her and her own children) had to pay a storage unit $700 or risk losing their belongings because they hadn't been paying. Around this time, my ex and her family had lost their rental and were living in a motel. So I knew for sure their family had fallen on hard times.
So I ask her how soon she expects me to pay me back. She says in 2 weeks, she just needs to pay the full $700 before a certain deadline. I trusted her to pay me back so I loaned it to her.
The only payment I received from her was many months later, $300. I had to *really* press her for that money. She said she would pay the rest with her tax return.
After that she cut off contact with me. Won't return calls or texts. She won't respond to me on Facebook. She never blocked me so I can see she still parties and has received many tattoos since 2012. She definitely isn't struggling. I'd like to take her to small claims but there are some obstacles:
- I have no address for her. My ex won't reveal to me where she is staying. Their parents no longer live at a motel at least. I still need a solid address before I can go anywhere, correct?
- I don't have the agreement in writing. I do have Facebook convos saved where she admits to the debt and just insists that she can't pay me back.
- I might be able to figure out where she works. I know the names of her kids and where they go to school, but I feel like neither of those can get me her home address.
- Is it possible to add in extra $ to cover whatever it costs me to get my money back? I've had people tell me "It'll cost you more than $400 in legal fees just to get you your $400"
So, any advice would be greatly appreciated! | Loaned somebody $700, received $300 before they ignored and cut off contact with me. No address none. Help? |
t3_lrfgi | AskReddit | Seeking advice from career advisor, computer programmer, or just anyone... | I am a 26 year old male. While in college, I became sick with cancer and had to drop out for a year. I did the treatments and ended up working out a deal with my professors to finish my remaining courses online.
I completed my BS in Computer Science three years ago.
The treatment was pretty aggressive which left me disabled. Since graduating, I have been living on my own, with my monthly disability check as well as housing assistance from the city.
My health has been improving slowly and I believe I am feeling well enough to work now.
The problem is that it's been three whole years since I did any programming at all. Even worse, I have lost the interest and passion (in programming) I used to have. However, I am tired of doing nothing all day and I would like to start my career as soon as possible. (Also, I have several tens of thousands of dollars in student debt that is only piling up even more)
I would like some advice as to any books I can read that would help me get back into programming. As well as any general advice I can get for someone in my position. | Graduated with my comp sci degree 3 yrs ago, have done nothing since and need advice as to how to start my career. |
t3_47km6m | relationships | My [22 M] partner [23 F] of 2 years doesn't like physical affection, kissing, etc, but I'm starting to think I need it | Hi reddit people, here goes, I could really use some advice here:
We've been together for 2 years, things have generally been great, but recently I've been getting more and more upset about a few things in our relationship and just holding it in.
I've been thinking about this for a long time, and recently realised that the thing that's made me happiest in every past relationship I've had (not many, but still), was being touched, kissing, etc. Her sex drive is lower than mine, but I honestly wouldn't mind that too much if I felt wanted anyway. That's the stuff that made me feel loved, or even just wanted if it wasn't a full on relationship.
When I got together with her, I thought she just wasn't into it because she was shy, and that she'd come out of her shell... but if anything she's withdrawn more, told me she doesn't like that stuff as much as I do (especially not kissing, probably the most important thing to me), and the times she did it in the past were just for me...
I've tried to talk to her about this, but the response I got was "Why try and change for someone you want to spend your life with if that's not really you? I'd just be faking it forever". I guess logically it makes sense... but we both love each other, so I don't get it. | My partner doesn't like physical intimacy as much as me, and full on refuses kissing. It's massively upsetting me, to the point where I think it's the root of all unhappiness I have about our relationship. |
t3_3y9ics | relationships | My [19F] girlfriend said she needed time think over our relationship. What should I [20M] do? | My girlfriend of 1 year just told me she has been thinking about a lot of things recently, in particular our relationship. I have noticed that she has been getting mad at me over the little things, we never really used to fight so much until recently.
After one of these particular fights, she asked if I still loved her. I told her of course I did, and asked the same. She said she still did. Obviously I could sense something was wrong, so I asked if she loved me less than she used to, and all she could was she didn't know. She then admitted to me that she thought she couldn't be happy with me anymore, and felt like she would always wonder if she could be happier with someone else.
I then asked if there was someone else she thought she would be happier with, and that's when she told me that's been speaking with someone else for as long as we have known each other and needs time to think about us. I was very distressed, but I agreed. Now I'm here looking for advice. | Girlfriend thinks she will be happier with someone else she's been speaking to for as long as we have been together. What should I do? What can I do? |
t3_125rgm | AskReddit | Reddit. Worst Birthday stories. Go. | So it's my 26th tomorrow, the 27th. I'm stuck at home on recovery from stomach surgery. For the next 2 remaining weeks I'm stuck on a puree foods diet, no serving larger than 1/2 cup. I can't really move much yet meaning i can't leave the house. Can't drink anything alcoholic. Can't sit up straight at my computer desk for longer than a half hour. Been on this diet for a week with two to go, and i'm craving any sort of solid food... any. Guess what my brother decides to make for himself every fucking meal since we live together? Pizza and bacon... ffffffffffffffffffffffff | can't move around,can't leave the house, cant eat solid food, can't drink alcohol, can't play any pc games. Brother being an ass. Realistically this is probably my worst birthday. |
t3_noolo | AskReddit | What is the most prejudiced/biased thing you do in your day to day life and why? | For me it has to be tipping at coffee shops. Barring great service, I only do it if the barista / cashier is a younger woman who is relatively attractive. I really just realized I do it when I had coffee and a pastry this morning, it came out to $5 exactly I handed her a 20, and got a ten and five ones back. As I was stuffing the money back in my wallet I realized I was given the 1's so I could tip but the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.
If there is a decent looking girl I feel compelled to leave a tip and would feel bad if I didn't have a dollar or some change to throw in the jar. But when its a guy or a woman I don't find attractive it isn't that I am consciously not tipping them I am just not even thinking about it. | I realized I only tip at coffee shops if the cashier/barista passes the "I'd bang her test" |
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