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t3_2xq8fq | relationships | I (22m) feel like I'm alienating my friends and family | My paranoia on this issue is probably related to my break up with my (19f) ex-girlfriend. We were together for six months and the first three months were great, but after the fourth month she became too high maintenance. I had to see her every day. Text her every hour. She would get mad if I didn't and I slowly felt like I was in a prison and not a relationship.
I asked if I could see her less often so I could focus on my undergraduate studies. She later said she felt miserable, mistreated and unappreciated. I truly loved her, she was a really sweet girl but this relationship was taking too much out of me so we broke up. Now my parents have been calling me (they live overseas) very often. Either from shame that I feel like I am failing them or from my frustration at my inability to manage my time correctly I have been ignoring both of them. Now my friends have been reaching out to me around four days a week. I really love spending time with them but I get the feeling I don't have enough time for them, and I have been turning down all their invitations recently.
Now I am kinda realising a trend here. Am I being paranoid here or am I slowly going down a road of forever alone? Should I tell the people I love that I need to talk to them less and risk losing them too? | Broke up with girlfriend and I'm now ignoring friends and family, I feel like I don't have time for anything or anyone |
t3_18qk10 | offmychest | 18 and moving on. | I just turned 18 today, and I am not playing your game anymore.
It was a couple years back when I "fell in love" with a guy two years older than me. It was cute and all, we went to prom, we went on a couple dates. Unfortunately, he got some sick idea in his head that two years is WAY to young for him and EXTREMELY illegal. He completely stopped all communication and told me he'll talk to me once I'm 18.
Well, I'm 18, have a full ride to college, and have worked hard to be set for most of my future. FUCK this guy, the gross little Bastard. I am done playing your little game. If you actually cared, my age wouldn't matter to you. I'm moving on and finding someone who will actually treat me with the respect I deserve. Thanks for showing me what a real asshole looks like, I'll never forget it! | guy I liked told me I'm gross for being a minor and to text him when I'm of "legal age" even tho he's barely two years older. Haha, Yeah right! |
t3_b987r | AskReddit | Reddit I need some advice on getting a mortgage. (International Student in Canada) | Hey Everyone, I am an international student in Montreal, Canada and was hoping to buy a condo with a mortagage from here. Here is a more info that will hopefully help asses the situation. I am in my final year and should graduate by fall, apply for citizenship and eventually be working. I have excellent credit here. I've had a secured credit card from RBC for 4 years, and never once did I miss a payment and allways paid in full or even above the statement. This allowed me to get a futureshop credit card unsecured with a $3,000 limit (keep in my im international). HSBC even called me and offered me a line of credit worth $10,000, but the first requirement was that I have a job. I know it is possible to get a mortgage as some of my other international friends have them. I wanted to know your insight and what is the best way to go about it. My father is financially responsible for me here. He sends me money monthly. He makes good money (not super rich, but we live well). In the last 4 years I've probably spent about $100,000 dollars on rent, when it could have been towards a mortgage. >=( Anyways it's better safe than sorry. Since my lease is up in about 3 months I would like to be active on this from now so as not to waste time. My father is going to retire soon as he is in his 60s (he lives over seas) so he probably won't be able to get a mortgage according to my sister. | I'm an international student that pays rent when I could be paying the same amount on a mortgage, I need help understanding my options and whats the best way to go about getting a mortgage. I have excellent credit in Canada. |
t3_400ygi | relationships | Am I [22 M] asking too much from this girl? [20 F] | Quick history: Met this girl in 2011, later discovered she has bipolar, later developed my own anxieties due to my life situation, and ultimately it didn't work. Late last year, we started talking again.
So at this point we've been talking on Facebook for almost two months. The whole premise of her asking if we could talk again was because she wanted another shot with me, and I was happy to hear that as I was always really into her. The thing is, I hate only talking via Facebook, and all talk of me coming to visit her has dried up, and she changes the subject if I bring up video chatting.
I feel like I really need this in order to feel okay with this and move on from what happened back then, but I don't really feel like these concerns matter to her. When I brought this up, she apologised and then everything just went back to the way it was. Am I asking too much?
I feel trapped in limbo between our past and what could be a future, and I can't get past that until I see her, though she seems content to stay as we are. I don't really know where I stand. | Girl who supposedly loves me won't do more than talk on Facebook, which is making me feel shitty. What do I do? |
t3_3qy2r6 | legaladvice | Friends attacker got off | I hadnt talk to my friend in a while since I go to college out of state. So I hit her up to hangout when I got home while we were shooting shit while smoking hookah she informed me that she had been raped a year earlier and had never told me about it cause she didn't want me to lose my shit about it while I wasn't home. She then told me that her attacker (a guy who I know as a scumbag) got the felony charge drop and was changed to a misdemeanor. My friend filled a restraining order but it expire in like a year and a half from now and she feels like he going to try something again. So we finish hanging out and I went to the guys house and I shook him up and told him that if he fucking tries anything that I'm gonna kill him and have no remorse for doing it and that it would feel great to wipe him off the face of the earth. All he replied with was a smile and said "just try it" and did the pussy eating out gesture. What I want to know is what should I tell my friend to do? Cause I'm not gonna be around to defend her in case that happens again while I'm off at school I told her to refill the restraining order and to get some from of defense (pepper spray, tazer, ect). Also am I at risk of getting in trouble for what I did to him? Thank you | friends rapist got felony dropped to misdemeanor charge basically told him not to try anything. She's scared something might happen when the restraining order expires. |
t3_2ed1yf | Advice | I'm scared of not going to the right school and not making any friends and ending up a failure essentially. | Please help me figure out what is the best for me because I've already discussed this with everyone I know and I have no idea what to do. Basically for the last 2 years of high school ( called sixth form here ) we have a choice of staying in the same school or going to college/ another school. I decided that I didn't want to go back to my own school even though I liked it because I needed a fresh start. Now I have two schools that I have in mind, one is a catholic school that's quite close to me but the fact is that we have to do RE as a compulsory subject and I'm not religious at all, also i've been there for an interview and I didn't really like the 'vibe' I don't know how to put this. Another school that I have in mind is an all girls school that's supposedly the best school in the borough and the whole thing feels more friendly than the catholic one. Now I'm not against anything but I'm scared. I don't know if I can stay in an all girls school for 2 years, and I don't know if I can take 1.5 hours everyday to travel to and from my school. But I really feel as if it's the better choice for me. | I have to decide which school I want to go to. One being a religious school and close to my house and the other being a same sex school and quite far away but with better academic scores and all. |
t3_45atst | relationships | My [21F] sudden lack of sex drive is putting a lot of stress on my 1yr relationship [with 21M]. | For the past year my bf and I have had sex almost every day yet for the past three weeks or so my sex drive has disappeared. I am on anti-depressant medication which has messed with my libido in the past but this time it is a real problem (I have been on this medicine for three years now so it is not new).
My bf thinks I am not attracted to him or that he has done something wrong (despite me constantly reassuring him that this is not true). He tries to engage in sexual interactions basically every day and this makes me very uncomfortable and I also get upset because I have told him many times before that it makes me feel bad.
I have tried to have sex with him and halfway through I had to stop because it was so distressing and I felt self-conscious and somehow violated (though he never forced himself on me other than persuasion). Since then I have not tried to force myself to have sex with him again.
I think it is unfair that he is putting a lot of pressure on me to have sex with him and making me feel very stressed, but I wish that I would feel like it again. I don't think it is just about him though because I haven't felt aroused nor masturbated in weeks.
How can I get my boyfriend to back off and give me time? And how can I get my sex drive back again?
(I'm not on any birth control at the moment as I don't have the money, though the pill has messed with my libido before). | I want my bf to stop pressuring me for sex, but I also want him to understand that my lack-of-sex-drive is not his fault. Also advice on how to get my drive back would be very welcome. |
t3_4g5k8e | jobs | Craigslist Personal Assistant job sounds sketchy. Advice? | Hello, I've been browsing this sub regularly and soaked in a lot of good information, but now I'm gonna come to you guys directly for some advice about a possibly sketchy "job offer" I've gotten from Craigslist.
Some background: Recent grad (7 months ago), long and painful job search. Got a job (~24k/yr) that sucks ass but need something to do until something better comes along. Looking for advice since I'm a first gen Asian-American and am a bit lost.
So I sent my resume (without my phone number and address) to a posting looking for an Admin Assistant paying ~$20/hr, and was contacted and given an offer without an interview (after I submitted a follow up email with my resumes and some answers as they requested). The job is apparently a remote personal assistant job paying ~40k a year which will be amazing for me while I look for better opportunities relevant to my career goals.
The person I will be assisting directly E-mailed me, and although the company is legit (big international company in 120 companies) and it does exist, and though the person that contacted me is seemingly using a company e-mail address I cannot find him listed anywhere (Google, company website though the website only lists chief executives).
They/he are not asking for more personal/identifying information, are not asking me to submit any payments or anything (and are actually saying they will be mailing me funds to use for errands), and will be giving their phone # first if I do send a confirmation e-mail. The only reason I'm wary is because this is a Craigslist position, and the job offer without an interview seems rather sketchy.
I plan on calling the company and asking if a person by the name of the person who contacted me works there at the position he listed himself as, and plan on asking to speak to him to see if this is legitimate. Is this the right thing to do? Any suggestions/words of advice?
Sorry for the long message, I'm just a lost kid trying to find his way through corporate America, and thanks guys for the advice/suggestions. | Apply to Craigslist position, get a request for reference list the next day and then a "you're hired" e-mail a week after with no interview. Next steps? |
t3_p4686 | dating_advice | Looking for some advice on girl who might not be completely over last relationship. | So here's my current situation. I'm a 20 year old male who has gone out on a date with a very cute, nice 18 year old girl at my college. Went out and got dinner and a movie, then the next day (on short notice) she wanted to hang out, play video games, watch some things, etc (which we did). We're both very nerdy people, and things seem to be going very well. We're not "official" yet, but we seem to be moving in the right direction, if that makes sense.
She encouraged me to get a Tumblr account, since she has one, so I did.
Here's what's worrying me. Her last relationship got done in December, after a two year relationship (she was dumped by him), and according to some of the things she's posted on her tumblr account she's having trouble getting over it. She's admitted her previous boyfriend was a bit of a dick, but I've seen her post that she worries about what he's doing now with other girls, sometimes seems depressed posting about it.
In the time I've hung out with her, she hasn't been depressed, she's been very happy, and wants me to hang out with her sometime this week to watch Firefly (one of my favorite shows). I plan to hang out with her probably Wednesday or later this week.
Here's my simple question: What should I keep in mind with this possible "still getting over him" situation, should I be concerned about it, or just keep moving forward in my own way and not let it affect me? I've been a forever-aloner for the last 3 years (my previous relationship did not end well, but I'm long over it, and I'd really like to move forward with her.
Any help is greatly appreciated! | Met very nice, nerdy girl. Went on date, have hung out already, I'm worried about her past relationship and how she feels. |
t3_uqm5j | AskReddit | My sister was told she is being reported to the police for child neglect, I think the threat has no merit. What do you think, Reddit? | A few details:
My sister is 11 years older than me, she has two kids, one is almost 8 and the other is one and a half.
She works part time when she can find babysitters, but is usually at home with the kids while her husband works.
Today she had to go pick up some paper work while both of her sons were with her, so she pulled up to the office and left both the kids in the car, windows down, for less than five minutes while she walked in to get the papers. It is about 70 degrees today (So it's not hot, neither is it cold), she called ahead to have the paperwork ready so she could go in and grab it, and the baby was sleeping which is why she left him in the car instead of waking him up and dragging him inside.
While she was gone, a women saw her go in, timed her while she was in the (4 minutes), wrote down her license plate and told her she would be reporting her to the police. My sister left and came to my house freaking out, I said that because she had A) no proof and B) did not call the cops then and there, that she was safe. But i'm not sure about the law. | sister left two kids in her car on a breezy day for four minutes, was threatened with police action for neglect, i think there is no merit to it. |
t3_2ejnpf | tifu | TIFU by not using a clean knife | Today is my day off work so I have spent it casually browsing reddit. Then I realize I've got a case of the munchies, so off to the kitchen to find something to snack on. Rummage around the fridge, grab some grapes and a block of cheddar. I see the cutting board and knife on the counter I used last night (just cut some scallions with it) and figure hey, why dirty another knife.
Now little did I know that there had been a container of bleach on the counter that the cats had knocked over some time in the night -- I later found said container had rolled under the cabinets. I slice off a big piece of cheese, take a bite, and suddenly my mouth is accosted with the most terrible taste. I immediately throw the cheese down and vomit into the sink.
After rinsing my mouth out and brushing my teeth approximately 20 times I discover said container (small squirt bottle, now empty) under the counter and upon further inspection the cutting board and knife were both covered with bleach.
TIL that bleach tastes fucking nasty. I admire the sheer willpower and determination of those who choose to off themselves via bleach consumption. | Used a knife I had used to cut veggies to slice cheese, didn't realize it had been doused in bleach courtesy of my cats. |
t3_3lwhy3 | relationships | 33M dating a 30F for 5 weeks it's her birthday tomorrow. What to do? | So we've been seeing each other for a bit she seems to like me and i think she's amazing. She is much more successful than me, very fun, really into music(big plus for me) and literature, traveling and is really gorgeous.
I'm a single full time dad and I don't really have my career together, but she knows that and is still interested.
It's up in the air whether i'm going to her party or not. She invited me and I made the mistake of being like 'i understand if you want to just be with your friends but i'll come if you want me too' do you think that i made it awkward
In all reality going to the party could be fine.
She texted me over the weekend so she's still interested.
In terms of what i should do for bday.
I was thinking i'd text her happy bday and confirm our plans we had the following night, if she invites me to the party i'll go i suppose. Then when i see her i could bring her a bottle of wine? Is thst a good enough gift? I just brought her flowers for her job promotion on friday. | new relationship, a month old. not sure what i should do gift wise for bday or if i should attend her party |
t3_37p6rz | relationships | Me [17f] with my bf [17m] of 6 months/anxiety is ruining my happiness | i've been in my first relationship for 6 months. i'm completely smitten and in love and much happier and in a better place then i've ever been. we're best friends, we're lovers. we can talk to each other about our emotional issues (both have anxiety & depression) we talk each other through our insecurities as well and im just always happy to be around him and we spend quite a lot of time together.
the only problem i have is my anxiety. i cannot enjoy much things for longterm cause the thoughts eat away at me. i know these are insecurities but my mind tells me not to enjoy it for long or how we won't last that long so don't get too involved/don't fall too hard and its really messing me up. it always happens during our affection moments of just long hugs and talking and my head tells me "this won't last long.." and its really a downer because another side of me is saying even if it does or does not put your all into this you're in love get comfortable, enjoy yourself. its a constant battle
has anyone felt this way? should i speak with him about this? | im very in love and happy but anxiety tells me this wont last and to not get in too deep. how can i get rid of this? |
t3_2bq1qf | relationships | Me [17 M] broke up with my girlfriend [18 F] of a year. We broke up on good terms. | I met a girl in Biology class in grade 11, and after hanging out for a month or two we decided to start dating. The first year was great, we rarely fought, had a loving relationship and saw no sights of it ending. Then this past month, during our summer holidays we stopped talking as much as we used to. She said multiple times how she wasn't happy any more and how she thought we should take a break. Although she said these things, she later admitted to lying as she was upset at the time and was confused.
As much as I wanted to keep the relationship alive, I just couldn't do it. We weren't compatible. I had her over yesterday after texting during the day. She came over and I explained to her my feelings and that I would feel terrible if I just dragged her along. She said she understood my situation and that she agreed. She was beyond hysterical, crying to the point of almost being sick. And seeing her like that made me upset too. We cried together for a few minutes.
I told her that we could still text every once in a while as friends, as I didn't want to just cut her out of my life. This is where my question is. Is it wrong of me to still care for her this much and talk to her like that? We don't hate each other and she still cares about me, and I feel stuck, because she would be alone next year at school, (both her friends going to university). I told her that we could still hangout in the hallways if she needed help with anything and that I would always be there if she needed a figurative "shoulder to cry on".
Is this too much contact after a breakup? | Broke up with girlfriend of a year on good terms. She's all alone next year for school, so I offered her to text and talk in the hallways every once in a while as friends. Is this too much contact? |
t3_kdrps | AskReddit | I'm a freshmen in college, and an aspiring musician. (Question in text) | I have to keep working on my voice (also guitar). I live in a dorm and its very hard to practice, as i like to sing loud because i am a hard rock and roll player. It's too loud, and i don't like people to hear me practicing... i like people to hear me at my best, especially the people i will bust the ol' git-ar out in front of at parties. Where can i go that i can be loud as i want, and no one can hear me? Is there some place that i have not heard of that's generally in the music buildings section of a college campus? | Is there any places one could go to be isolated to be as loud as he wants with his instrument and voice on a college campus? |
t3_4zeo87 | relationships | Apparently I (29f) have a "hard on" for my husbands (27m) ex (27f) | Okay, so when we first dated in college in 2009, my husband and I had a kind of... Tumultuous relationship. We didn't argue a lot or anything, but I think I came on a little too strongly. Consequently, he felt a little suffocated. Not an excuse, I know, but he crossed some boundaries with a friend of his from his school. I'm not sure how far it ever went while we were still dating, but I know he went to her house and spent the night a couple times. And I caught her sitting on his lap at a party and she tried to kiss him after breaking up with her boyfriend. I asked him to chose between her and me when he said he was going on a trip to New Jersey to see her and I wasn't invited. He chose her, and we didn't see each other or speak for nearly two years.
When we did, we were friendly again, and neither of us mentioned the stuff that happened before, except he once admitted he treated me horribly.
We worked through a lot of stuff beginning our relationship again. I trust him with everything today- he's the person i find solace with. He's the best person I could ever have hoped for, and I know he loves me.
He unfriended his ex a while ago after I mentioned her in a passing conversation, and I feel horrible. He even went so far to say that I "really have a hard on" for her- in the British sense, meaning I'm obsessed with her. I mean, he knows I don't care for her, but I don't want him to feel like I'm controlling him because of her. I don't want to feel like I owe him anything in that respect, I guess. Like, if he wanted to unfriend her of his own accord, fine. But because I mentioned her, and he thinks I'm obsessed with her? I feel like it would just be fodder for an argument or resentment. Should I just add her back without saying anything? | husband unfriended an ex with a lot of history between us. I don't want this to become something he can use on me later. Should I just add her back? |
t3_3odv5i | relationships | I [24 M] recently started hanging out with "mentally unstable" girl [20 F]. She just split up with her ex-bf about a month ago. | Okay, a real quick background. I am 24 years old and decided to go back to University to get my engineering degree. She is 20 and is going into her third year university. She has a group of friends from school that I started hanging out with. She told a couple of them she thought I was cute. Word eventually got back to me, I felt the same about her however I figured she was out of my league so it was a big surprise to me.
Either way, we've hung out a couple times now. We've made out on all occasions. We've also gotten fairly frisky with each other i.e. feeling each other up and what not. However, the other night we were getting into it, and I was almost sure it was leading to sex. She stopped me and told me we shouldn't because it was a bit too early and she doesn't want it to only be about sex.
She is recently single for only about a month. Her previous relationship was roughly 1 and a half years long. She's told me she's mentally unstable. She ended it with him.
I really like this girl but I feel like I'm stepping in at the wrong time. I can tell her feelings are still partially with her ex-boyfriend, however she tells me she really likes talking to me and likes my company and cuddles and all that good stuff. I feel like I'm putting in some solid effort but she isn't reciprocating, understandably. It feels as if I were to just go with the flow, the flow would eventually stop flowing. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do? It's been racking my brain for the last week and taking my focus off of school. | Started hanging out with girl fairly fresh out of her relationship. Feels like I'm putting in effort, without reciprocation. |
t3_1n0hfv | relationships | Me [18 M] with my friend [18 F] want to get to know/ date | First to start off, I was surfing Gone Wild a few days ago, sending messages to random girls on there to make myself feel better because I've never really had any sort of relationship at all. So this one girl stuck out particularly to me. We started talking on reddit, then eventually we moved to talking on kik.
The only problem is I found out that I knew this girl! She goes to my high school and I never pictured her to be the kind that posts on Gone Wild! My kik is sort of anonymous so she doesn't know it's me. We know each other well enough and she would recognize me if I sent a picture of myself. We've kept it clean on kik so far and she still thinks she's talking with someone she doesn't know. In real life she's a pretty cool person, someone who I would think about dating.
I really want to get to know her and maybe even date her. I don't want her to freak out if I reveal myself and say that I'm the guy from reddit because she posted on GW. And I would **NEVER** spread the pics around school because I'm not an ass hole. I did tell my two best friends because I know for certain that they could keep this a secret.
So, I am wondering how I should approach this. Should I tell her on kik that I know her, should I tell her in person, or should I just talk to her and forget about the whole talking on the internet thing? Also, when do you think all of this should happen. I'd like to be able to ask her to homecoming at the end of October so, yeah... Any help is greatly appreciated. Also, if you have any questions about the situation, just ask and I'll be more than happy to answer them!
And no, I won't give out her username. | Found a girl I knew on Gone Wild and want to get to know her better/ maybe date her and I have no clue what to do. |
t3_hx4kn | AskReddit | Our house smells like a dead animal... help! | My boyfriend and I have been trying to track down this odd smell for a while, and yesterday I opened the door to the utility closet where the A/C unit sits and almost hacked all over the floor (I'm questioning my decision to post this while eating breakfast). We're pretty sure something has died IN the A/C, because we've searched the closet/everywhere accessible with no luck finding the nasty bugger.
What can we do? I don't think we can GET to it -- I'll bug the guy to maybe try to take the side panels off the A/C, but it's more likely it's in the ducts, isn't it? At this point I really would be fine with covering up the smell -- it's godawful. | Something furry or scaley (we live in Florida) has crawled in our A/C and died and we can't get to it. The smell makes me want to off myself. Help? |
t3_2zb92e | relationships | Me 17 M with my 16 F for 3 months, high school struggles | I'm currently in a high school relationship (me, male, senior) with my girlfriend (junior). She's gone through rough times through the past with other guys (specifically when she's felt vulnerable and hurt because of being let down). I don't want her to feel that way ever, but I am going to graduate soon and move to college, and she says she's inclined to feel it again. I don't know what to do and I hope we could continue our relationship. I don't want her to feel vulnerable or sad because I can't be there with her.
Today, she's been having a rough day and she decided to take it out on me. I talked to her on the phone and she's been stressing out over me, our future, and how i'll meet other girls in college. She is upset because she thinks she's way too emotionally attached. She's now been texting me things like "just stop trying. it doesn't matter. there's nothing you can do" or "im being oversensitive and hormonal" or "mb ill just "stop stressing out" bc you told me to". I'm being as supportive as possible, and I realized that this could also be her time of the month. I'm not sure what to do next because she isn't happy with any of my support. | Girlfriend is angry because i'm moving off, and she feels too emotionally attached. I don't want her to feel that way. |
t3_4hlv0y | relationships | I [24F] want to end my relationship with my husband [28 M] and honestly i don't know why. | I will start by saying that yes i have issues, i had been seeing someone about them but today im just done.
There is nothing specific that my husband has really done, we get along wonderfully, hes a great father etc. but i just don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. I hold onto things that hurt me, and in the past he has hurt me quite bad. But i still married him, had a child with him and really tried hard to make things work. we have been together for 2.5 years and married for nearly 1 year. Its sad that I have wanted to leave when we were only 6 months into the relationship, but then i got pregnant and well now we are here.
I dont know really what i am asking for advice on, maybe have you left someone because of minor incidents? Is this something i should be trying hard to save? I dont know im just feeling done with everything, im not happy at all. | Want to end things, he is great most of the time but im unhappy. should i fight for this because its not that bad, or leave? |
t3_2df37r | relationships | Me [20 F] after a great date with [23M] last week and plans for a second one...Now I'm confused. Advice? | Had a four hour great date with a guy last weekend.
He texted me the night after the date two hours later and said he had a great time.
We talked a bit throughout the week and on Friday I asked if he wanted to go see a show that was out on Tuesday or Thursday of this week.
He said yep, we chose which one and I said what days it was playing. Then the conversation went silent.
Haven't heard from him since.....
Advice?
It wasn't really a question that I ended on but I'm weirded out.
Really nice guy too. I don't want to seem pushy but I want to see him again if he wants to see me... | great first date, asked if he wanted to go out again. He eagerly said said yes, haven't heard from him since....been since Friday night. |
t3_cuq6g | relationship_advice | I think my best friend has a crush on my boyfriend. | My boyfriend (22) and I (19) have been together for just under a year. Recently, a friend of mine has started acting oddly around my boyfriend, and I think she might have feelings for him. She left the state on vacation recently, and she didn't tell me, but she did tell him. When we all hang out, she leans up against him and cuddles with him, which I don't mind so much if I'm on one side and she's on the other, but when I'm across the room doing something else it bothers me. She's not usually comfortable with being intimate with people, and she's absolutely terrified of sex. The last relationship she had was 9 months long, and they never made it past second base. So I'm not worried that she's going to try and seduce him or anything. I don't think he would go for it anyway. He's oblivious to the whole thing, and doesn't see what I'm talking about at all, but some of our other friends have made comments. My mom even noticed that she gets weird around him. My main concern isn't that he'll cheat on me or leave me; I know him better than that. He would try with all his might for a threesome, but he wouldn't do anything behind my back. My main concern here, is to protect her feelings (she is, after all, my best friend) without taking anything away from my relationship. When I ask her and my boyfriend not to hang out alone, or get all cuddly with each other, he gets sad (and I think offended because he thinks I don't trust him) and she just seems to not understand what I mean. I *do* trust my boyfriend, and I don't mind when any of his female friends hang on him or cuddle with him, because I know that's platonic, and they've been doing it since long before I met him. It's just this particular friend that bothers me. | My friend probably likes my boyfriend. How do I keep her from getting hurt, not mess up my relationship, and still be comfortable? |
t3_2uhbvc | relationships | What to do when a guy (16) rushes into a relationship with me (16, f) ??? | So I've been friends with this guy for maybe 3 or 4 years, and we've grown pretty close; I'd say he's one of my best friends. We've almost hooked up/ dated in the past but indecisiveness / lack of interest have always hindered any progress.
So 2 days ago, we hooked up & fooled around a little at his house, then yesterday he asked me out. I said I didn't know how to answer, and he was okay with that, and then later, we fucked. And And i ((regretingly)) told him yes I'll go out with him.
Now he's basically telling people we're dating, and calling himself my boyfriend . . .
I mean I had a lot of fun, but it's scary how quickly he wants me to make this commitment.
I told him how indecisive and confused I am, and he said he's completely okay with that (I have no idea why). | hooked up with my friend and the next DAY, he wants me to agree to a relationship. I'm still on the fence, and he's aware of that |
t3_1ilzi5 | relationships | I [21F] am having feelings for FWB [27M]. | I became friends with this guy in the spring at the university we attend, both students in the same major. About a month into our friendship we got drunk on some red wine and slept together. After that, we started hooking up regularly on the weekends.
At first I enjoyed our Friends with Benefits perks of no commitment and great sex, but the more we hang out together the more I've grown to like him than more than just a friend. However, I am too nervous to admit my feelings to him, because I don't want to ruin our friendship or our great sex.
Being friends with benefits has been hard to read any "signs" because I don't know if he's just being a good friend or more than that. For example, he bought me brunch one morning after we hooked up, and I wasn't sure if to take it as a friendly gesture or as something more. And let's face it, brunch might be the most couple-y thing ever.
Also, we can't hang out a lot because we both work 8-5 corporate jobs and he has to spend some weekends studying for the CPA exam. Also, he's not much of a texter so it's not unusual for us to text infrequently. Despite this, we have a good friendship and a lot of similar interests and can talk for hours when we are together.
I got out of a 3 year relationship in the spring and wasn't looking for anything serious, and when this guy and I first started hooking up he didn't want to tell anyone to help keep me from tarnishing my reputation in a small elite college program (I'm one of the only girls).
My question is, how do I start this conversation about my feelings for him? Do you think it would ruin what we have now? | Not sure if I should pursue having a more serious relationship with my friend with benefits with the risk of ruining sex and friendship and I am not sure if there are any "signs" pointing to him wanting more. |
t3_53hp4p | travel | PSA: Do not connect through Boston when traveling into US. | Recently flew through Boston on my way from Europe. The experience was one of the worst I have ever had entering the US.
When flying into US (even if just connecting through to another US destination), everyone has to go through passport control and get their bag. The passport control line for US citizens was over 400 people long, with one passport control staff serving the entire line. It took 55 minutes just to clear it. Then you had to wait in another line for 20, just to pass through customs. Instead of walking through like in every normal country, you had to wait to give a piece of paper to a person collecting them, causing the line.
There were multiple passengers in line who missed their connections. When one of them asked airport personel what can he do to catch his connecting flight in 20 minutes (this is after an hour and 15 min wait in the lines), he was told "Not much." The man ended up missing his flight, I saw him later at the transfer desk trying to arrange another.
But the problem with this (apart from the ridiculous wait time and lack of care from staff), is that there were multiple other passport control staff processing other lines (non US citizen and some sort of diplomatic line). Those lines had a maximum of 50 people at a time and went through in 15 minutes tops. When the other lines emptied, the staff behind those counters did nothing to help the 400 person, 1 hour line of US citizens desperately trying to get through to their flights.
NEVER again. | Don't fly through Boston. You will wait for 1.5 hours just to get through mandatory passport control and miss your next flight. And no staff there will give a shit. |
t3_331f15 | relationships | I [25 M] have this girl [25 F] that will not leave me alone, but I feel bad for her. | So I met this girl a few months ago. We hung out with each other maybe 4-5 times, slept together twice. I wasn't feeling it, so I ended it.
Soon after, she started texting me non-stop, all day, everyday. If I don't respond, she just continues to message me. It's to the point where I want to throw my phone every time she contacts me. I go days without talking to her, and the texts and calls continue. I went two days ignoring her, and I had about 230 texts/missed calls. Also, when I don't respond, she will create social media accounts to try and add me and talk to me.
Now, I know I should've blocked contact awhile ago, but I feel bad for her. She's from another country, hasn't lived with her family since she was 14 (went to a private boarding school in said country), then came to the states for university. She has no family here, but an aunt, and no real friends to speak of, which is why she's so clingy. She is also losing her job(she's an engineer), and she is currently planning on marrying someone for citizenship (after she asked me, to which I declined, even though she was offering $50k). This is basically what she talks to me about 24/7 (that and how she wants to hang out, even though I haven't seen her in months). She is so desperate to stay in America it's pathetic, but maybe I don't understand where she's coming from. She's from a wealthy country, she just refuses to go back to where she's from and talks about how her life is hell? So basically our convos consist of her talking to me like we're dating, her telling me about her plight to stay in America, and her acting crazy when I don't respond.
Normally, I could be friends with someone after dating, seriously or not. But she continues to think there is something between us even though I have told her time and time again there's nothing there. She says "she can't live" without talking to me. I know this is threat and manipulation, but what if it isn't? | Barely dated girl, now she won't leave me alone, I want to just ignore her but I feel bad for her. What to do? |
t3_2oi1rb | tifu | TIFU by driving. | This happened just a few minutes ago, my mom and pops got in a car accident (nothing serious) so my pops called me to go pick them up. Fuck up #1. I don't have a license due to the fact that I mainly commute with my bike. So I go and pick them up in my dad's jeep. Fuck up #2 this jeep has had a break light out for the longest of time I swear since 2012 and has not been fixed. I didn't know or care since I don't really drive. I'm on my way home from picking up my parents from their accident and BAM! Cop hits the red and blues right behind me minutes after leaving the fucking accident so I pull over and give this guy the insurance which I'm not even on and I have no ID on me. So I explain to the copper that I just picked them up from the accident minutes before he pulled me over. Good guy cop takes off failure to show licence on citation since he was feeling nice and let's us go. | parents get in accident, go pick them up with no licence and no break lights. Get pulled over 4 minutes after leaving the accident. Good guy cop. Kind of. |
t3_503b02 | tifu | TIFU by using too much toilet paper | Backstory: so my family and I moved to a new house about a year ago and our new house is much like our old one except there's some sort of new toilet system. All of our waste goes into something called a septic tank which I don't know anything about so don't ask me about it, I'm only 16.
So maybe a few months in to moving I have one of the wettest dumps of my life. I'm talking more water than shit came out. I used up about a half a roll. Well the next day I come home from school and let my dogs out (I have two). After about three minutes they haven't come back in so I have to go outside and drag them back in. They smell absolutely awful and for some reason I didn't think anything about it. So the day continues on and my parents come home and they say hi to the dogs and the dogs kiss them and my parents kiss them back. They also smell the god awful smell and this goes on for maybe three days before my parents start to finally inspect it. They go outside to see where the dogs keep going when we let them out. Apparently our septic tank broke from all the toilet paper I used. So every time someone took a dump in my family it would go up into our backyard. If you haven't already realized our dogs have been eating our shit and then licking us when they came inside. My dad actually vomited and I was traumatized. We had to set fences around the area because our dogs were addicted. They'd always go over there when they were let outside. We had to wait for a plumber to come and fix everything before we could take away the fence. | I used too much toilet paper that our septic tank broke. My dogs ate our shit for a week. Traumatized my family until a plumber could come. Worst week of my life. |
t3_3emvx4 | relationships | Me [25M] with my [24F] friend. I asked her out and now she averts her gaze and won't talk to me. | So long story short, I've been in a different place mentally lately in the good feels department. I have also had more time to spend with a female friend, and realized I may have romantic feelings for her. I asked her out, she rejected me in a way that spared my feelings, but was a firm no and I respected it. I'm over all of that, in fact initially I even suspected she was oblivious to how I asked her out because of the way we handled it. Today though we were hanging out with some friends, and she wouldn't look at or talk to me. I just want to convey to her, that I'm really not that invested in the situation, and there's really not a need to be awkward. Obviously I knew the risks when I hit on her, but for me this was not nor is a huge ordeal, nor have I made a spectacle of it.
Any thoughts on what she might be dealing with and how I can alleviate the situation would be great. I've given her plenty of space and stuff. I just don't know how to proceed. | asked a friend on a date, she rejected me in a nice way I thought it was a said and done deal, and now all of a sudden she wont look at or talk to me. |
t3_2felrj | relationships | Dont know what to do [18F] act now or wait for [M18] Please help! | I know i just posted something an hour ago, but I changed my perspective on the whole thing. Maybe a new flair or whatever it's called. (sorry new)
Background:
Dated 11 months, complications outside lead to the split, best friends for quite awhile before, completely dedicated until the complications did not get any better after around 9 months of suffering. Still love each other (at least what he says), almost begged to not hate him and to wait for us to be us again. Around a month in I blew up on him, I was overdramatic, I was not coping with the breakup well. Im afraid I drove him off. I dont think he even cares. I decided to take a contact break, and here we are.
I dont want to talk to him for at least a month, but I cant help thinking of how childish I was. Do I say "Im not ready to talk, but I cant believe I was so childish I was and I need to apologize, I hope I didnt ruin everything." After only a week of no contact? Or wait it out?
I just want my bestfriend back, but I think he's doing fine without me. And I really think it's because of how I acted. I feel like such a b word, it wasn't the real me and I want him to know that. I just dont want to create anymore unnecessary drama, I dont want to make it ANY worse (from a to be continued relationship to tension and no communication), but its bugging me. I dont believe in "If its meant to be it will be," sometimes you have to take action! I dont know. Speak now or wait? | Is an apology desperate to someone who doesn't seem to care? Do I play it cool or risk losing him in my life? (As a bestfriend.. mostly) |
t3_45mies | tifu | TIFU playing with my friends | So my FU happend when I was 5(15 now). It was a hot summer day and me and my family visited my friends and their familiy(they are siblings, let's call them Maria and Dave.Maria was 13 at the time and Dave was 5) which were currently in their summer house. After the short drive we found their summer house with the directions they wrote down. Maria and Dave were playing in front of the entrance, their parents were coming from the inside of the summer house to greet my parents and grandmother. The greetings were all done and I,Dave and Maria went playing to the playground couple of meters from the summer house away. We were playing without parental supervision. A half hour later Maria ,probably bored playing with two five year olds, had an idea and went with us to the river hundred meters away. On the way we were looking at all the other summer houses, plants and animals we passed walking to the river.
After arriving Maria immediately went to a spot next to the riverside. The little dumbass I was, followed her. The problem was someone cut the lawn next to the riverside and didn't collect it afterwards, which made me slip. Luckily I could hold onto the ground, which went diagonal into the river, and didn't fall into the river.I wasn't able to swim at that time.I grabbed with all the strength I had onto the grass I was able to catch at the fall. Dave immediately started to cry and Maria wasn't even knowing what to do.After I begged them to help me get out of this situation Maria grabbed my arm and pulled me up. After all that we went back to the summer house. My hands were feeling like they were burning because the moment I fell I didn't grab onto grass, but on stinging nettles. We arrived and Dave went straight to his parents and told them everything while I showed my mother my hands and asked her crying if she could make the pain go away.My mother applied big band-aids on both of my hands and Maria was in big trouble after Dave told his parents the whole story. I hope she got grounded for at least four months with no computer.Sadly I don't know the punishment her parents gave her. | Was playing with my friends, the older one got bored and took us to the river where I nearly fell in and died. |
t3_4zhr5w | relationships | Me [21F] with my BF [21M] of 5 years, not showing any effort to lose weight, how can I motivate him? | Like I said we have been together for 5 years. He's 6'2 and around 266lbs. Thing is because he is so tall and built bigger he doesn't look his weight at all. With clothes on he doesn't even look too big just tall and broad/muscly. But he has a lot of extra weight on him.
When I first met him he was the slimmest I have seen him and since then hes just been getting worse. There was one time he spent months getting healthy and he dropped a lot of weight but now he has put it all back on again.
He also suffers from depression and for the last few months he has been at his worse so I know its not easy for him. It's just so hard because I know if he ate right and portion controlled and lost the weight he would feel amazing. I have tried getting him to see a therapist but he won't and I only just managed to get him to take anti-depressants
He is showing no signs of wanting to lose it either. I feel like I am nagging him because I spoke to him once and told him how I felt and hes not changing. He says he will but then goes and eats massive meals. He gets annoyed with me and tells me I de-motivate him but without me there I think he would be even bigger! I am seriously worried for his health and our future. How can I approach this sensitively? | Boyfriend is showing no signs of wanting to lose weight and gets annoyed when i bring it up, how can i handle this ? |
t3_3dppz2 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] 7months, do I have a right to be upset over him? | So I've been friends with this guy for 5+ years and we're dating for 7 months now
All these months he was totally lovey dovey kinda person. Everything was great. We cared about each other.Went out for cute dates. Gave cards to each other...
Recently he'd come over to my place. Watched a movie, talked etc
Then he put his hand around me. We were cuddling in bed for sometime. (it was the first time we were so close) I really enjoyed it. Nice romantic afternoon. Had our first kiss. Had lunch together. Then he had to leave because my parents come home by 5. He was really happy when he left. (at least he seemed to be(i knew by the way he hugged me)).
Later that evening I asked if he really liked the Time spent . He just said 'yes'. One word reply . it's been a week now. Nothing seems to be going the way it was before. He won't talk about it anymore. Even if I insist to talk about his feelings and if he was okay. I thought he'd feel more passionate towards me after that time. He's changed. He doesn't talk about spending time with me anymore. I don't know if my feelings are valid or am I just over thinking. I don't want him to leave :(
It really hurts when he's online But doesn't text me even when it's been an entire day since we last talked. Is this all about giving him his space? If that's gonna make everything normal I'd do it. I wanna tell him that I want spend more time with him but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. | is he drifting away after spending a snuggly time together? Or he needs space? Is he not interested anymore ? I thought he'd feel more passionately about me but it's getting sour. :( Help! |
t3_320y30 | relationships | Me [33 /F] with my husband___ [39 M/] 6 months married, where do you draw the line with friends of the opposite sex? | I need some clarity about where the line is between having/being friends with members of the opposite sex (especially single friends). Please excuse the lack of paragraphs. Im not sure how to make that work and the formatting help isnt telling me (im bad at computers).
My husband and I have wildly differing views as to what is ok in terms of having friends of the opposite sex. My husband has several female friends (one who he is very close to and who is totally fine and im more than cool with). They message him alot about their "problems" and he's always there for them. They tend to text late at night (he stays up when i go to bed). Ive learnt things about these women trough other sources (mutual friends) that make me feel uncomfortable and i dont know how to address these issues without either him or me making concessions that lead to either of us having resentments/guilt.
what is your experience when it comes to bringing friends into your relationship? All of these women he knew before we were married, but we're married now and i feel like having multiple female friends that treat you like their confidant is out of line. | What is your opinion on friends of the opposite sex? Me and my husband have opposing views about what is appropriate and its causing a rift in our marriage. |
t3_2cvui6 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 2 months, we want to live together | It all happened quite fast. I met her in June of this year and everything felt really great from the start. From the first date actually. The passion, energy and the mutuality of our feelings are mindblowing.
For me, this is my 3rd or so real relationship. For her it's her second one. We are so much in love with one another, we both never experienced these feelings this intense. I know it's still fresh, but already we both feel we found the one we want to be with.
Here's the catch; it's long distance. It's a 2hr drive from each other, so now we solve this by spending 4 days a week at each other's place. This works out really well, and there is no annoyance after those 4 days. The day we drive back home for 3 days, it feels empty without her/me.
She is currently looking for a new place, and she expressed she would very much like me to move in with her or perhaps even rent some place together. I'm delighted by the idea, and this weekend we are going to look at some places to live.
Again, I know this is fast but it just feels right. And when it feels right, nothing is too fast. Now my question to you all is; do any of you have experience with this kind of situation? Moving in pretty fast? Are there things I should consider regarding the relationship? Things I should mind or be prepared for? | Going to live with my SO of 2 months. Are there things I should consider regarding the relationship? Things I should mind or be prepared for? Advice? |
t3_42n613 | relationships | I've (16F) been dating this guy (17M) for a couple months and he just hit me! | He has never hit me before! We were at his house and he looked upset so I went to hug him (like I usually do) and he shoved me away. He said to leave him alone, after he said that I replied kept asking whats wrong/what happened. He then turn around and slapped me across the face. He saw me crying from the stinging and tried to hug me. I backed away from him and went home. It's now the next day and I don't know what to do. | bf upset, I try to see whats wrong, slaps me, he tries to comfort my crying, I leave, what do i do now? |
t3_2t82xl | relationships | This is probably a stupid question to anyone with any dating experience whatsoever, but when should I [M/18] actually ask this girl [F/18] out? | So a while back, one of my friends said she wanted to introduce me to her friend. But we never got around to meeting because the schedules would just never match up and blah blah blah. Well I was talking to this friend and was telling her that like, 3 different girls had actually let me buy them a coffee and lunch before telling me they had a boyfriend. She was like "Well I'm seeing my friend today, I'll tell her about you and see what she says."
So she talked to her, and lo and behold, her friend "said yes" to something. (I'm still unclear on what she said yes to. My friend just texted me saying "she said yes" and sent me her number.) So I text her friend and we chit chat for like 5 hours, and then go to sleep. Then we get right back to it in the morning, just talking about general stuff. Life, work, family, etc.
So... how long am I supposed to talk to her before I ask her if she wants to meet up and catch a movie or get dinner or something? I'm kinda lost because every time I've asked a girl out, we've already met eachother IRL so it's easier to gauge what their reaction might be, ya know?
Plus, you know... I don't know what my friend told her exactly. I don't know if she said "hey, this dude wants to date you" or "I think you two might like eachother" or what. | got introduced to a girl via text messaging. Not sure when I should ask her out. Or what I should ask her to go do so I don't seem weird and pushy and like I want to jump right into dating her. |
t3_3dz9r7 | relationships | My [19F] boyfriend [25M] gets extremely upset whenever I talk about his lifestyle | Throwaway because I prefer the privacy.
Let me preface all of this by saying that I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for nearly 2.5 years. The first year was long distance (we met online) and the following year and a half was spent living 30 mins away from each other after I moved to go to college. Now... my boyfriend can be a bit on the lazy side. That's fine, because I am too!
However, last night we got into a fight because I mentioned something negative about his lifestyle. He's currently in his apartment and I'm at home with my parents for the summer. I was talking to him and asked him about what he's been doing, if he's gone outside etc. When he told me that he hasn't gone outside or exercised at all in the two weeks that he's been home, I told him that I didn't think that was healthy or attractive. The atmosphere became a lot more tense after that and he started saying things like, "Who gave you the authority to tell ME what's unattractive to you? Who exactly do you think you are?" We both apologized to each other after a few minutes of yelling and crying, but I called him today and he hung up the phone on me.
I've always known that he likes to be independent and makes his own decisions, but I wasn't even telling him what to do. I'm a little weirded out by this fight. He says that he feels like I look down on him and only ever have to say negative things about him. I don't want to be "that" girlfriend who is always nagging or being rude. I would rather speak to him in an encouraging way. He tends to drink a lot of soda (4-5 cans a day) and eat a lot of junk/fast food which is not only bad for your health, but is also expensive. Is this okay to speak to him about, or is it outside of my bounds? | Mentioned to my boyfriend that his lazy living habits are unattractive but he blew up in my face. How do I approach him in a better way? |
t3_yo57d | AskReddit | What crazy things do you do for the one you love? | So this afternoon my boyfriend decided to tame the rainforest going on in his pants. In doing so, he nicked his sack with an electric razor, resulting in a slew of profanities and almost a hole in the bathroom wall.
Flash forward to this evening when we stopped into rite aid and he picked up some Neosporin.. We get home and he disappears into the bathroom. I hear a "hey babe I need your help for a minute." not knowing what I was walking into, I walked through the door and he's got his pants around his ankles and is holding his dick up while stretching the skin of his sack. With both his hands occupied and his shirt hanging too low, I had to hold up his shirt so he could get to the infected area. | my boyfriend nicked his sack with a razor. I held up his short so he could apply Neosporin to the cut. |
t3_240uwa | relationships | I'm [21/F] feel sexually unsatisfied with my boyfriend [21 M].. | My boyfriend & I have been together over 3 years. I've had many partners before him, but I'm his first. I find a lot of the time he has a hard time keeping up with me in bed, his arms get tired & I'm stuck on top or he'll randomly go soft. Sometimes I feel like random guys we know have more desire for me than he does.. I know my boyfriend is attracted to me but I feel like I'm just more his 'gf/wife' now instead of some girl he's extremely turned on by..
I find myself becoming more & more attracted to one of our good friends--our roommate actually. I can tell he really wants me & sometimes I just can't help thinking about what it would be like. I think a lot of these fantasies occur because of the fact that I'm horny all the time, even though my bf && I have sex every single day -_- Maybe there is something wrong with me... Help? | I'm sexually unsatisfied with my boyfriend & do not know what to do about it. I find myself longing for men that actually portray want for me.. |
t3_4jzie6 | relationships | I'm [16 M] fairly well known on Youtube and I recently started to talk to a fan [15/16/17 F] on Twitter. | I was like answering her questions and for our surprise, we seem to be living in the same city. And it's a small city, nothing like a capital or something, so I got really interested in her. I did a bit of research through her social networks, and I found out that we share a lot of interests, and she's really cute. So, I'm so confussed because I don't know how to feel. I only had one girlfriend before and things didn't go too well, she discovered that was lesbian after breaking up with me lol. Also, the fact that this girl is my fan, scares me a bit. | I've just met a fan of mine through Twitter who seems to share a lot of interests with me and to be from my city, and I think I like her |
t3_1zf79x | cats | One cat eating the others food | I've searched and didn't find a good answer.
I brought a new cat into my home, and the two are getting along swimmingly. But, the newbie (Bill, around a year old, same as Kate, the original one) keeps stealing Kate's food. I still have the bowls in separate rooms, but once Bill finishes his food, he goes into the other room and eats most of Kate's.
Is there any way I can keep him from doing this? I've taken him away when I catch him doing it, but he's much bigger than Kate, and I think he bullies her away from it. | new cat eats old cat's food, and I want to make sure they're both eating enough. Worried about old cat's eating habits, since the newbie eats most of hers. |
t3_51pij5 | relationships | I've [15M] been with my gf [16F] for 5 months, past experiences make feel bad... | My native language is not english, so i'm sorry for any spelling or grammar errors.
I know some of you will say that i'm too young to have any meaningful problem but i feel bad and uncomfortable about this.
Backstory: when i was in primary school, from 1st grade to 6th grade i was bullied by my classmates (boys and girls alike) for being chubby or just for being the lonely kid.
I went to the psychologist when i was in 4th grade and they said to my parents that i was unable to make any interaction with my surroundings.
This was because at that time my dad wouldn't come home and say "Hi, how are you? - How was your day?".
Instead he would point out all the things i did wrong like: not having my shoes on or having toys on the floor. So as a kid i was always stressed because of it and i was always alone and sad in school, which caused the bullying (i think...).
During and after all this I grew with a thought that no one would love me or like me for real and i was really sad for most of my childhood.
so now (still kinda fat) I have my first gf and we are happy together but i still feel like i'm not REALLY loved, although she always tells me that she likes me for who I am. | I feel like crap because of past experiences with people and now I don't believe that someone likes me for real, which makes me uncomfortable and really sad. |
t3_31zbt7 | tifu | TIFU by realizing I was a serial torturer as a child, and even tortured my own sister | As a dumb guy I am, read some reddit (like this post /r/tifu/comments/31vlpu/tifu_by_waterboarding_my_wife/) and didnt know what waterboarding was, and decided to do some research on it.
Well, as I read on waterboarding, I suddenly realized that I literally invented waterboarding as a child. What happened was that I discovered that it was , hmm, mildly uncomfortable if you put a piece of cloth on someone's face and pour water on their face when they try to breath in.
So every time if there was a friend coming to my place to stay, I would lure him/her into the bathroom, saying that it feels great to put a piece of wet cloth onto his/her face and breath in (well at least all my friends agreed to that part). I let them try it on in the bathroom, where I had a mini bucket of water ready for the prank. I then waterboarded (is that even a word?) them and watched them choke on water. Luckily nobody died.
I did it to at least 10 people, including my sister (who was the first victim). | To the NSA agents reading this message: I was 5 years old when I discovered waterboarding, and did it to 10+ other children. |
t3_366i9s | relationships | How should I [20M] tell my future roommate [19F] that I'm not comfortable living with her next year? | (it's funny - I just made another post in this subreddit about my breakup, but this is another problem I'm having)
So I'm gonna be a 3rd year in college, next year. Room draw is over, so I'm already matched up with a couple other students. We made friends with each other this year and signed up together.
The thing is, they're a year younger than me, but they also seem slightly immature in a way that makes me anxious and lonely around them. We don't have much in common at all.
I've also discovered that one of them is an 'otherkin', who places her 'oppression' on the same level as racial/gendered oppression. Essentially, this discovery has made me very uncomfortable around her (I'm trans), and this only adds to the list of reasons why I'd rather not live with her.
We're still friends, and making enemies is hard for me right now (socially anxious af). How can I let her down easy? I've already found someone I can room with instead, so all I need to do now is tell her. | future roommates are too immature for me to feel comfortable around, one of them is an 'otherkin'. I'm gonna switch rooms. How can I let her down easy? |
t3_2k8ad7 | relationships | My girlfriend [23] and I [M; 21] have been together for 4 years and our sex life has deteriorated due to difficult circumstances. Please help. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we have been best friends for longer. We've had our share of tribulation but, as far as I know, neither one of us has ever been unfaithful. I am very much in love with her and I honestly don't think she could emotionally handle losing me, so there isn't much chance of this issue breaking us apart unless it escalates to the point where I can't deal with it anymore.
My girlfriend does not like moving during sex. She prefers to either be in missionary or doggy with little to no movement on her part. I've only ever been with one other girl and she was a freak in bed, and I liked that. I love having sex with my girlfriend, but her lack of willingness to participate is beginning to wedge us apart, causing arguments because I don't want to initiate sex anymore.
I've talked to her about this a little bit, though not to the extent I am revealing to you nice people, and she replies that sex is not enjoyable for her if she has to ride me or put any effort into it. She says it turns her off but she becomes sort of selfish and doesn't really take the seriousness of my plight into consideration.
I've been thinking of giving her an ultimatum but I can't even imagine not being with her. We live together on a shared lease and have two cats, so there are also external forces at play here.
Please, I need advice on this. Or at the very least, to talk about it. Thank you. | My girlfriend is boring in bed and it is starting to take it's toll on me. She seems unwilling to change but I do **NOT** wish to break up with her. |
t3_1xdfnl | dating_advice | Just polite, and for the job, or something more? | In a small talk situation I normally find a bit socially awkward, I've recently started looking forward to getting my hair cut, specifically because of one of the women in the salon.
She's cut my hair a few times (as have others in the same place), and each time I find myself comfortable talking to her, and she seems the same. It's all the normal stuff really, holidays, weekend plans, the perils of renting apartments etc but it seems very genuine. We have a laugh and from the bits of information I know about her she seems pretty cool.
If I happen to be with another stylist she'll stop by and say hello, and she's remembering details from conversations around events from weeks/months ago and checking up on how they went. On leaving shes asked what I'm going to do next that night and say it was really good to see me again.
Now, given her occupation, I know that small talk is probably the third most important skill she needs, after knowing how scissors work and which end of a hair dryer to hold. Am I blowing this out of all proportions?
In a different situation I would certainly look to speak to her more and try and get a better feel for something going on, but realistically I'm only spending an hour there every 6-7 weeks, and if I don't need a haircut theres not much opportunity to see her more often.
I'll (guiltily) admit I've looked up her twitter account, but not done anything more for the fear of stepping over the 'creepy' line - not sure how a random 'follow' would be taken? As in person she comes across as genuine with interesting, umm, interests. I just saw it as a possible line of communication.
I'm not the most self assured person, and I can't imagine getting enough guts to do something simple like asking to get a coffee with her without fearing completely misinterpreting the situation so far.
Is she destined to be a nice thought I allow myself now and again and nothing more? | I like my hairdresser but only see her every few weeks. No idea if she is just being a nice person, and good at her job or likes me as well. |
t3_2uxmcw | tifu | TIFU by not locking my back door | Okay this happened about 9 hours ago.
I am at university in the UK and live in a house of five.
This morning, one of my housemates and I (both male) were the only two occupants around all morning and we had been watching TV in our front room for several hours.
We both had lectures at 3pm and decided to go up to campus a bit early. So we go into our respective rooms to get our stuff (his is ground floor, behind the front room, mine upstairs). He calls for me to come down and there is a strong smell of cigarette smoke in his room (I am the only smoker in the house but we think nothing of it). We then proceed to go out the back door which leads to the garden, which has a utility room in it. We have a habit of locking the back door and hiding the key in there. So my buddy heads up to the back gate while I lock the door and go to hide the key.
I open the door and there's a dishevelled man in his late twenties sitting there smoking. I freeze and he abruptly gets up and runs past us out the garden.
We had the police round and they checked with us. Nothing was taken which begs the question what was he doing...
Our interior walls are very un-soundproofed so I guess he was doing whatever in my friends room and heard us leaving so ran and hid.
The really scary part is that I was smoking in the garden a few minutes ago (0030 hrs) and the locked room within the utility room had been unlocked for the first time in the year we've lived here. So my guess (seconded by the police) is that he's been living in a small disused toilet we didn't know existed in our garden until tonight due to (we thought) the landlord locking it. | the homeless man who has most likely been living in our garden has managed to start wandering round our house while we are obliviously watching TV. |
t3_4ilaoq | relationships | My mother (46f) stole my (23f) identity and ran my credit to shit. Need help dealing with this situation. | I'm probably a shitty young adult, because I've never checked my credit before as I've had no reason, but I started house hunting with my boyfriend recently and decided to check my credit score last week. I was horrendously confused because it stated I had an open credit card with a bank I had an account with as a minor and my credit itself is absolute garbage. I've never applied for a line of credit in my life.
After calling the bank which the card belonged to and hearing some of the charges on the card and how long it's been active, I can say without a doubt it's my mom. I lived with her briefly years ago and I think she stole mail from me and applied for a card, using the personal information at her disposal. I've filed a case with the fraud department of the bank and I'm waiting on a call back from the police so I can file a report. I'm waiting to contact experian until I can provide them with a police report.
What I'm struggling with is the feeling of utter dread I can't shake. The woman who raised me betrayed me in such a serious and multifaceted way. She has a history of drug-use and mental illness, but I've never pictured her doing something like this. She's had the card for four years and I'm so frustrated and upset that I didn't catch it sooner and that things got so out of hand. She's also come to ask me for help with money, a place to stay, etc, very recently, all while knowing she'd purposefully robbed me. I'm in a state of numb disbelief.
I need help figuring out how to handle this situation on an emotional level (advice about handling the financial aspect is welcomed too.) I'm lost, feeling like the imaginary figure I made up as my mother died and I'm left with the hull of a thieving stranger and fading memories of better days. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I just want my mom back, but she's long-gone. I'm not sure how to deal with any of this. Thanks for reading. | My drug-addicted mom stole my identity and opened a line of credit in my name, trashing my credit. I need help dealing with the damage. |
t3_2l0kcp | tifu | TIFU by telling my brother I have super powers | This was actually 20+ years ago when I was 10, and my little brother was 4.
We were at the park playing, and I noticed that one of the legs of the swing set wasn't grounded very securely. I inspected it, and sure enough, I could easily pull it out of the ground (I sure hope they fixed it by now).
I decided to show my little bro a display of my superhuman strength. "Hey, come check this out" I said, as I pulled the leg out of the ground, lifting the corner of the swing set up a few inches. It was a pretty big, heavy duty swing set, so to a 4-year-old, it was quite an amazing feat.
"HOW'D YOU DO THAT???" he exclaimed with astonishment. Being the creative storyteller that I was, I said "you see that over there?" as I pointed to a nearby pile of dog shit. "I squeezed it, and it gave me super strength...it must be magic poop or something".
Little bro wasted no time scurrying over to the poop. He picked it up and squeezed away. Yes, I was an ass.. but in my defense, it honestly looked old and dry, so I didn't think it would be too messy. However, it was a lot gooier than I anticipated. It oozed out between his little fingers as he squeezed hard...oh man, was it nasty!
I tried to stifle my laughter as best as I could, but when he attempted to duplicate my feat of strength, all he could manage to do was smear shit all over the swing set leg, and I just burst out with laughter. I'll never forget the look of disappointment on his face!
So how did IFU? Well he ran home crying, got dog shit on all the things he touched in the house before my mom stopped him, and my punishment was no TV for 2 weeks. Mom immediately knew this was my handiwork, so I didn't even bother trying to play dumb. It was too hilarious anyway and my laughter gave it away. | I told my brother he'd be super strong if he squeezed dog shit. Was messier than I expected. I got TV taken away for 2 weeks. |
t3_2oz9jq | travel | 3 weeks euro trip, Mid December till Jan, $2500 budget, advice needed! | Hi I 26[M] have planned a 3 weeks euro trip with one of my best friends 27[M]. My plan is to travel on a tight budget and see the following cities and spend as less as possible.I have a few questions that I really want your awesome advice on.
**The main cities I plan to see (in this order) are:**
Istanbul, Turkey (3 days)
Rome, Italy (2 days)
Venice, Italy (1 day)
Prague, Czech Republic (1 day)
Munich, Germany(3 days staying with a friend at Munich University)
Berlin, Germany(1 day)
Amsterdam, Netherlands (2 days)
Brussels, Belgium (1 day)
Paris, France (3 days, new year night at eiffel tower hopefully!)
Zurich, Switzerland (1 day then back home)
**Questions:**
* How much should I be expecting to pay for normal meals?
* Are any of my locations overrated?
* Are there cheaper alternatives to some of my cities with similar options?
* I plan to stay at hostels, have you stayed at a good hostel in any of these city, please do recommend it.
**A bit personal; but I really would like a response on this**
* Is my budget enough?
* Any general advice or pointers based on my trip plans? | Travelling with a friend, visiting 10 cities in 18 days; need advice if plans look solid. Noob questions. |
t3_337g3z | relationship_advice | [28/f] Newly engaged and beyond excited!...but seriously unhappy with diamond-less engagement ring | Boyfriend (29) of six years just proposed and we are so happy and excited for our future together!
However, I am super bummed about the ring. We had previously talked about rings and even showed him pictures of types I like. I have been excited for a diamond engagement ring for a long while - he knows this. And I had told him I dislike any color on engagement rings.
So that time comes and he got a band with small round cut turquoise stones and no center stone. No diamond.
I am so thankful for all he did and beyond excited for a loving future. But I cannot see myself wearing the ring forever. I'm even embarrased to show anyone the ring. I'm emotionally distraught and upset. I dont want to be superficial but I don't want it to color our relationship and be unhappy everytme I look at it. Anyone have advice?! | Boyfriend got diamond-less engagment ring in completely wrong style. Emotionally distraught with no idea what to do, needing advice. |
t3_cfpvn | AskReddit | Getting paid less than minimum wage: is this legal? | EDIT: This is a DAY camp. I drive to work every morning and I am not given room and board. I am also not given food/lunch, each day I am given two granola bars for "snack".
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After three summers of working at a local summer camp, I decided to move up to bigger things and work at a larger, corporate-owned camp. When I was being interviewed, I thought the idea was great: $290 a week and $7.25 an hour after that. The hourly wage sucked by because there was a lot of hours involved I'd be making a lot of money this summer.
But during the training process, I saw that my boss was mainly interested in maximizing profits; she saw everything (even the counselors) as a way to make money. For example, we have to pay to wear hats to the camp. I also learned I'd be working 6:45am - 4pm for the first week. This is 45 hours, basically a full-time job. But if I'm only getting paid $290, I'm earning a very low hourly wage :/ Not only that, but during the training process my boss made us use our cars to transport camp supplies, meaning that while I was earning $7.25 I was also spending my own money on gas. | I'm a college kid at a summer job, it pays $290 a week but I'm working 45 hours. My state minimum is $7.25, and the math doesn't square up. |
t3_2t7v51 | relationships | My [M25] faith in women has near-completely shattered. | The past few months has rocked me too hard. Here's what happened:
First, my good friend's wife left him. Reasons said she wanted to experience single life again.
Then, at around Christmas time, I start seeing more break-up posts on facebook. no one gave any good explanation as to why but then...
My OWN girlfriend [F22] of four years left me the day after my birthday. She was saying that I just wasn't the one for her. I did my best to fix it, but she kept saying excuse after excuse as to why we shouldn't be together as a couple but still friends. I've been trying to move on from this, but she is still hounding me with this whole "let's just be friends" thing. I seriously do not want to change my phone number, but it looks like I might have to.
And reading the whole "Jenny/Carly/Zach/X" thing on TIFU didn't help either.
So now I am finding myself unable to socialize or talk to women. I know they are not all bad or evil, but after seeing the extent of their emotions, and how damaged from the experience I am, I've kept to myself a lot. I'm unable to spend a lot of time at university due to social exhaustion just by being around other people. I'm worried about being a shut-in and yet I am also uncomfortable with even hanging out with friends. I can't help but think abut the unusually high divorce rate and why the heck these things happen. I'm getting lonely and anxious and I can't seem to get my mind in gear. | saw a lot of couples split last month, including my own. I'm avoiding women against my will. and lonely. |
t3_13qyqk | relationship_advice | [15/m] My Girlfriend (16/f) Said she wants a break from relationships | Alright so this is probably fairly petty compared to some posts in this subreddit but this has really been bugging me. So I went to my dads house (out of state) monday-friday over this thanksgiving break. She was going to come over to my house on saturday when I got back; she usually comes over every weekend but I was really excited about this because I havent seen her for a week and I really REALLY like this girl, I mean shes fucking perfect to me. Just a precursor here before I get into the texts: she has pretty bad anxiety and OCD and she often has anxiety attacks. So Friday night (the night before I fly back), she sends me multiple texts about how she cant mentally deal with grades, the bullshit therapy her dad makes her go to, problems back in her home town, and a relationship all at the same time. So the choice is obvious right? Break off the relationship and leave me hanging. She says that shes not dumping me and that she really really likes me and that its only because she cant handle a relationship. Im not sure if shes just dumping me though, if she did it would probably be like this, shes a really nice person and probably wouldnt want to just bluntly break up with me since she knows that I reallllllly realllllllllllllly like her. | My girlfriend says she want a break from relationships because of mental strain caused by her anxiety, I'm not sure if she means it or if shes just dumping me |
t3_3usabi | relationships | My [21F] ex-girlfriend and I [21M] broke up a month ago and I want to contact her. | I am sure many of you have had a similar problem or this is a common issue, but I would appreciate some insight.
A little over a month ago my girlfriend and I of almost a year broke up. Mainly reasons I blame myself since I worried a lot about the relationship at the time. Anyway it wasn't a bad break-up, we agreed to it and that was it. She wanted to remain friends after awhile which I agreed because she really wanted it at the time.
I messaged her a couple days after we broke up asking how she was was and telling her I missed her. She responded by simply saying thanks for checking up but she did not want to talk for a bit so we could be friends after some time. However right now I want to message her and talk, but I am not even sure about what.
On one hand I feel like what I am looking for is complete closure because I don't think I got it when we broke-up. On the other is that I genuinely want to be back with her. I miss her and I am afraid that I missed my chance with the one person I would ever want to be with.
So my question is she I message her? I don't know if it is even a good idea like if she would respond negatively and think I am annoying for messaging again. But I think it may be worth the risk because what if I don't take the chance and miss an opportunity. | Want to contact ex-girlfriend but un-sure if it is a good idea or if I should take the chance anyway. |
t3_463hr2 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of a few months. How do I get her to overcome trust issues? | I've been talking to/seeing this amazing girl for a few months now. She is really great and I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with her, but I'm afraid she isn't on the same page because of her past.
She got out of an extremely abusive relationship about 8 months ago. I mean abusive on all fronts, it ended really badly because the guy is a total piece of trash. The good thing is that you really wouldn't be able to tell from how easy going and warm hearted she is. The bad thing, she won't open completely up and trust that I won't hurt her like her ex.
She's not untrustworthy in that she gets jealous all the time or constantly thinks I'm being shady, but it's like I can feel her holding back her feelings. Like maybe she won't let herself fully commit because she's afraid I'm going to do her wrong like her ex did.
I think I'm a pretty good guy. I've never cheated on anyone, I've definitely never hit anyone, I've never stolen from anyone, I'm not narcissistic or materialistic really. I'm completely positive I am 100% opposite of her ex. How do I show her this? I want to help her heal without being overbearing, and I think I've done a decent job so far, but I want her to take the next leap with me. How do I get her to see me for a good guy and not what her ex turned into? | Girl I love is getting over very, very abusive relationship. How do I show her I'm not like her ex and that I'm a good guy? |
t3_ss3co | AskReddit | In light of something that happened last night, I decided to peruse r/ShitRedditSays to better understand the situation at hand... (question inside) | What I found was absolutely appalling. I understand that reddit has a generally liberal userbase, but the sadsacks there just take the cake completely. It's not fair to liberals to lump them in with this.
Every post is circlejerking about some "injustice" or something along those lines in comments on matters that are completely unrelated. Example: one link was to an [/r/pokemon](/r/pokemon) link of a screencapped Youtube video's page, where a somewhat racist comment was shown at the bottom of said screenshot. In the reddit comments, nothing was said about it. This apparently was enough to set SRS off.
So, the question.
The question is: All that subreddit is is hyper-politically correct whining, coupled in with a little radical new-feminism. How in the world can this shit still be going on? I thought it was understood that the internet is not a politically correct place in the slightest? And, as a bonus question, what are your thoughts on political correctness in general? On radical new-feminism (i.e. all women's problems attributable to men having penises)? | (inspired by DreadfulRauw): I'm confused by SRS, wanted reddit's opinion/advice, wanted reddit's opinion on PC bullshit. |
t3_kbdde | Pets | Reddit, I need advice on how to go about veterinary malpractice. (Pics inside) | On Sunday afternoon, my five year old mutt tore a hole in her abdominal area on a neighbors fence. This wasn't like a side to side gash, but a legitimate 2x2 inch hole. You could see her muscle and everything. Of course, we rushed her to the emergency vet and she was seen right away. The vet did surgery to make sure that nothing was wrong internally and it turned out that all she had done was ripped the skin off of the muscle, a big ouch but nothing that could cause her permanent damage. Anyway, the vet sewed her back up and kept her overnight.
When she came home monday afternoon, my mom and I were unsettled by how bad the stitches looked. It was a nasty wound and we weren't expecting anything pretty but these stitches just gave us a bad feeling. We trusted the professional, though, and assumed that it would heal alright.
Friday rolls around and we take her to her normal vet to get the drainage tube taken out and my mom mentions that it's been bleeding a lot more in the past couple of days. The vet takes one look at it and tells us that it's got to be redone. Turns out, the stitching was done wrong and was actually preventing blood flow in the edges of the skin, causing them to die. On top of that, the emergency vet left a flap of skin open at the top in which blood could accumulate and burst out of if left unattended. Our vet was so concerned by this that she cleared her schedule for the night and took Roxy in right away. The stitches look so much better now.
She's healing correctly now, still in a lot of pain, but healing. The problem is, we spent hundreds of dollars at the emergency vet, hundreds to have her restitched, and X amount in the past week on prescription medicines to give her while she wasn't healing correctly. And now she's five days behind when it comes to healing. We really would like to be compensated for those five days as well as the original stitching. Any idea of how we should go about this?
PICTURES:
First stitching after 24 hours:
Second stitching after 12 hours: | Vet sewed up my dog wrong, requiring us to pay to get her restitched as well as setting her healing process back 5 days. How should we go about this? |
t3_52eb7b | relationships | I (22f) keep waking my husband (24m) up at night because of my pregnancy. | My husband and I have been married for 2 months, together for 8 months. It doesn't seem like we knew each other for a long time to others, but we both feel like we've known each other for so much longer. I trust this man with my life and the life of the child growing inside me. And before someone says it, no we didn't get married because I got pregnant, we got married because we both wanted it. I'm 34 weeks pregnant today and sometimes I just can't stay asleep, whether it's because she's moving around constantly or I just can't fall back asleep. My husband has to be at work early in the morning, so I understand that his sleep is precious and he needs it. Last night I was up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep until 6:30. Igave up trying to go back to sleep around 5 and went into the kitchen to at least do something. He woke up looking for me to come back to bed. When I came back to bed, I was tossing and turning the whole time, which only kept him up more. When he woke up this morning, I noticed he was very tired and frustrated with the alarm clock going off and feel awful for keeping him up again. How do I keep from waking him up while still trying to get back to sleep? We've tried sleeping in different rooms, but neither one of us stays asleep long if the other person is not there. | pregnant and having trouble sleeping, my husband can't sleep because I can't sleep. Both of us are frustrated and tired. What can we do? |
t3_3gd12e | relationships | My (18F) boyfriend (21M) goes out clubbing a lot is it a red flag or overreacting | - if you're reading this, pls help and give your oppinion :( -
My boyfriend [21] of 1 year goes clubbing every weekend and sometimes more than twice a week. When i [18] ask if i can come too he doesnt say no but always tries to convince me to stay home and says things like: youll get bored, we are staying until 7 in the morning, youre gonna clinge on me etc. thats why i never go with him anymore. i told him several times he goes out too much and i never go out cause i dont see the point in it when i have a boyfriend or dont have fun without him. he makes time for me too and i trust him 100% and hes really nice to me and romantic but goes clubbing so much????A few weeks ago he went out clubbing and afterwards slept over at a female "friend" house, when I was abroad. Yesterday he said he slept at a male friend house because he forgot his keys, but I'm not convinced.
He had a girlfriend before me and they were together 4 years (with pauses inbetween) and he cheated on her with several girls while away on a camp.
Our relationship is good and he is nice but we also have our downs like every other relationship, we don't say mean things to eachother when we fight. We once had a 2 month break after a fight but then we got back together again.
We see each other maybe twice a week, he says he needs "space" and he never saw his other girlfriend (ex earlier described) more often than that. This week I slept over on sunday to monday, and then on thursday to friday. We were supposed to go home to me on friday but the plans got changed and he had to stay home. Today he was supposed to sleep over at my place (the clock is half 7 rn) but he wants to play soccer first but doesn't know which time. When is he going to come home to me then?
It bothers me that he goes out so much though? Am i overreacting or is it a red flag in a relationship | My boyfriend goes out clubbing a lot and it bothers me. Is it a red flag or am i overreacting? Shouldn't he settle down when he has a girlfriend? |
t3_u04hp | relationships | Lack the heart to make up my mind. | 20 year old male here.
Back story:
3 years ago asked I out the girl of my dreams(first relationship). Lets call her M. She was great in every way. M helped me through many problems and I can safely say that she is the reason I am alive today. This lasts a year when she suddenly breaks up with me. Says she wants to be friends. I agree to be friends. This goes on for a year and a half before she just stops talking to me (she got a new boyfriend I find out later). Rips out my heart and leaves me scarred. I can still say M means the world to me.
Flash forward to today
Trying to get my life together. I have been seeing a new girl, B, for about 3 months. However I feel like there isn't anything there. There isn't a huge amount of pop or anything and nothing physical. We don't get to see each other often despite living close and talk about every other day at most. She is a nice girl and great to talk with. Just don't know if we should be friends or something more...
Last but not least there is E. She has shared classes with me and shares one now, we get along great, and I asked her out about 5 months ago(she had a boyfriend at the time so she said no). Last I knew she was going out with another guy (not the same as when I asked her out) but given what she talks about I think that ended. I could see myself in a great relationship with her. | Still Likes the girl who ripped my heart out(M), while in a possibly dead end relationship with another(B), and thinking about a third(E). |
t3_3iop1g | dogs | [Help] Leash and walking anxiety? | My girlfriend and I adopted a ~3 year old pit bull from a local shelter about 2 months ago and we've been having some issues with his walks.
He sits pretty well on command, but refuses to sit when he sees the harness and leash (we have a Lupine NoPull). He's the first dog I've seen that doesn't lose his mind with excitement when the leash comes out. No tail wagging, no jumping, etc.
Once we're walking he's not super receptive to calling his name and he often goes out to the end of the lead to sniff and investigate lawns, bushes, trash, etc. He comes back eventually but not when I call. He'll sit at crosswalks and make good eye contact as long as no one else is around. Things go way south when we see another dog or cat. He usually goes out to the end of the lead, sits, and then will not budge until the animal is out of sight. He won't even accept treats or acknowledge my existence; all that exists is him and the other animal. Once they're out of sight, he flips his shit and runs to the end of the lead, aggressively tries to get treats from the bait bag, and whimpers. Again, no happy tail wagging in all of this.
Finally, when we get back home, his gets all chipper, his tail gets going, and he sits eagerly for me to take the harness and lead off.
Is he anxious? Is there anything I can do? My family has owned dogs before but this is the first one I've owned one since moving out and living independently. For reference, we have been doing clicker training at home and in the yard, and are starting obedience classes in a couple weeks.
Thanks for reading! | my dog doesn't get excited about or seem to enjoy walks and gets completely transfixed/anxious when he sees other dogs and cats. |
t3_nkcf1 | AskReddit | Having worked customer service, why does it seem that whites feel like they can get away with being rude? | I work at a small shop close to the city center in a large metro area with a equally spread clientele of whites, blacks, asians and hispanics. We have several issues with people parking in front of the store and scampering off with limited parking spaces to go around. We've asked people if they would kindly move their cars around the back, where we have additional parking and is at most 100 feet from the front and maybe even closer to wherever it is they're going. I had no problem with most of the people who usually comply, but those who feign not hearing and adamantly state "Oh it's okay, we'll come back later to shop" (which they don't and just leave after they're done with whatever business they have) are mostly white. Question is why? | Work at a small shop with limited parking space, rude people park in front and leave. Most of the rude people are white. |
t3_vmcum | AskReddit | Father and Brother in law have a serious psychosomatic disorder and family feels helpless. How have you gotten through to those you love? | My father in law and my brother in law both have Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. It is a condition where they become "allergic" to everything from pesticides to certain foods, and even to electricity. They are into alternative medicine and are spending a LOT of money on (sometimes crazy) cures that aren't helping. The family wants them to try to talk to a psychologist but the mother in law is standing in the way and enabling their lifestyle. Interventions and discussions have been ineffective. It's can be like talking to broken record, and trying to reason through words is way out of the question. They are both really far into it. The father lives in isolation in a separate house (yes, they bought a house just for this reason). More and more things are becoming "toxic". This has been going on for decades with the father, and several years with the brother. What can we do to help them out? | Two people with MCS won't consider going to a shrink or trying any form of psychological therapy and the family wants to help them see that it might help to try. |
t3_355th3 | relationship_advice | Ex-girlfriend (22F) and I (24M) ended our relationship in horrible terms. We work in the same building. I'm trying to take the high road and be at least cordial and polite, but I'm having a hard time. | Without going into too much detail, Lisa and I were a match made in heaven. Aside from a few issues, everything was perfect -- until it wasn't, and then everything spiraled downhill.
Shit happens, and I can accept that. I've made it a point to avoid her as much as I can, but since it's a building, we sometimes run into each other. Whenever that happens, I'm instantly filled with boiling rage, to the point that all I can do is just try and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. I feel like if I opened my mouth, I might just blow up on her.
And I don't think that's right. I think I should take the higher road and be positive about it, instead of being filled with anger and resentment. I want to be able to say hello to her, smile, and walk away, but goddamn, even thinking of that makes my blood boil.
How should I go about this? | (Ex)girlfriend destroyed our relationship, I'm still angry, and we work in the same building. I want to stop being angry and forgive her, but it's very difficult. |
t3_p17l0 | AskReddit | My wife wants us to move in with her aunt so we get the house when she dies. It feels wrong, but here's the story | My wife and I are living in a single wide mobile home that is owned by her mom's cousin. My wife likes living here but hates having her as a landlord. Our landlord/cousin's mom is dying and is being ignored by her daughter, and her daughter acts like she just wants her mom to die so they can move on. It's sad. My mother in law takes care her in the hospital and found out that she wants us to move in with her, and be put in the will so that we get the house when she dies, instead of her daughter. My wife is trying her hardest to make this happen, even though it will probably make it so she never talks to the cousin/landlord ever again. I personally don't think the house is worth the family drama and believe parents should pass things to their children when thy die. It's very frustrating and I don't know what to do. | wife wants to try and move into and take ownership of a dying family member's house, over the objections of the dying woman's daughter. |
t3_zcmv7 | relationships | Lied about my age. [F/19] [M/25] | Here's the deal: I've been seeing this great guy for about 3 months now. We met under pretty casual pretenses and things got a lot more serious than we had both intended pretty quickly. The thing is, when we first met, I told him I was a year older than I actually am, just because I thought I'd never see him again, I liked the way it sounded, etc, stupid reasons, and just never bothered to correct myself. This is the only thing I've ever been dishonest about with him, and now that things are starting to get serious, I want to tell him the truth, but am scared of his reaction. Has anyone been in a similar situation/what do you guys think about this? | Lied about my age to a guy and now that it's getting serious, I don't know to tell him/what to do. |
t3_35q7m6 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my SO [26 F] for around 6 months, things feel like they are getting serious but I am apprehensive because of some minor lies | I have been dating someone for around 6 months and in the last two it has started to seem like it is becoming more than casual dating. She has said some things that show that she is really interested in a long term relationship and we have become very close. I wasn't necessarily looking for a long term relationship when I came into this but it happened and I am comfortable with it going places except for one thing....
She has said many things over the course of the past six months that are relatively minor and harmless, but I am almost positive are lies. Most are just silly things that I think she believes would make her seem more interesting like saying she has some marksman qualifications that I doubt she has....
The one that really bugs me is that when we first started hanging out she said she had been diagnosed with aspergers as an adult. She hasn't talked about it much but it has come up maybe two or three times since she first mentioned it. I was a little bit skeptical at first but became more so when I brought it up to her around her best friend and her friend said "Huh?!?" and clearly had never heard it. Now, I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist or whoever diagnoses Aspergers, but she very clearly has none of the characteristics that I have ever heard of people with aspergers cases having. I have no proof that this is a lie, but I would really be shocked if it wasn't.
Anyway, I believe this was a "make myself sound more interesting" kind of a lie that started when we barely knew each other and she probably didn't think it would go any further, but now that things are getting serious I feel very apprehensive about getting into a real long term relationship with someone who would make something like that up. It is not the only thing she has said that I am skeptical about, and I certainly don't want to be in a relationship with a perpetual liar, even if it is only small lies.
Opinions, redditors? | I believe that my "girlfriend", who I am beginning to get serious with, regularly lies about relatively small, meaningless things. I am worried about that characteristic in a significant other. |
t3_3d7jsy | AskDocs | Is this a cold sore? Have had before but this is a small string of painless bumps that hasn't gone away in a month | 24, M, 6'0, 150lb, white, ~4 weeks, lips, none, one dose of Valtrex (4g)
I've had cold sores in the past but had gone on a lucky 3-year streak without.
I felt what I thought was the tingle and used Abreeva as I have in the past. Next day there was a small string of what I thought would grow to be the normal fever blister. Luckily, they remained small and painless (pic here -- completely unlike cold sore experiences in the past.
Now 4+ weeks have passed and they're still there. I did a digital dr. visit yesterday and got a 1-dose rx of Valtrex which I took yesterday. I really want this gone asap -- even without the normal cosmetic woes, dealing with the paranoia of spreading is awful. Can anyone advise if this is a cold sore and if there's anything to be done with one that's lingered for a month? | Small row of bumps that I'm unsure if is a cold sore ( due to lack of severity (size/pain) and duration (1 month+) - could this be something else? |
t3_3qdklx | relationships | Me [23F] with [M21], second date is tomorrow. Until now I've never been on dates with anyone. I'm extremely nervous. | A bit of background. I have been in a relationship before, but we started out as friends and then just became bf/gf. We never went on "get to know each other" dates. We were together for 3 years and I ended it last December because he was abusive and did not support my decision to move back home and help take care of my mom who has cancer. He was my first everything(boyfriend, kiss, sex, etc.)
Fast forward to now. I met this guy about a month ago and I immediately thought he was adorable and wanted to get to know him. I'm introverted and shy so it was very hard for me to make conversation. I would get so nervous. So after getting more courage, and making tiny conversation, he asks me out on a date. I said yes and we planned a time and day.
I was a mess the whole day, pacing, trying to figure out what to wear, worrying that I'd mess it up somehow. But it all turned out well :) It was very nice and I didn't feel pressured at all and we just talked. We decided that we should go on a second date.
I feel so silly getting worked up about this. I just have no idea whats expected on dates and what I'm supposed to ask or do. Like, my friends told me I was supposed to hug him after the first date, but I didn't cause I didn't know how or if I should or anything.
So second date is tomorrow. I'm excited, but I'm also anxious. I don't mess this up. I really like him and want to keep seeing him.
Are there specific rules for dating? Or do I just go with what feels right? What are things I should or should not talk about? And what are some ways to calm the nerves? How much eye contact is necessary? Should I be texting him throughout the day? | New to the whole "get to know someone" dating thing. How do you people do this without melting into a pile of incoherent mush? |
t3_rr6u8 | relationships | I told her this would happen. | 20m 19f
Been together for a little over a month. She has just recently moved out of her parent's house into an extra bedroom that one of the women from her church has. She and I both are theists but we don't believe in Christianity at all. None the less, she has been going to her church for a very long time and spends a lot of time with her pastor and the pastor's wife. We've been having sex regularly and it's going well in that area.
**Here's the issue.** She spent the night at my place for first time since moving into christian lady's house. The next morning she went back over to her new home and Christian lady asked her if staying at my place was going to be a regular thing and "she was trusting that we aren't doing anything". I knew this would happen. Part of me wants to go over there and have dinner and say my girlfriend and I have a sexual relationship and I don't think that's unhealthy and we are both being very responsible about it. Or maybe that would be a bad idea and my girlfriend and I should continue telling this woman what she wants to hear? The rent at this woman's house is very very cheap. I completely understand how this woman wants to protect my girlfriend because she has known her for several years from the church and she has only briefly met me. But I was hoping since my girlfriend is paying rent to stay there she wouldn't impose too much on her personal life. | Girlfriend just moved in with christian lady but now christian lady doesn't want her to sleep over at my house or ever have sex with me. |
t3_2r29vi | tifu | tifu by kowtowing to my grandma | Today was my gramma's 72nd birthday so our family had a little get together to celebrate. Now at these parties we split up the family into two tables: one for the younger generation of Asian Americans and the other one for the older generation of immigrants. As a result, the younger generation tends to stay together and not meddle in the business of the other table.
About halfway through the party, everyone's having a good time when one of my distant aunts comes to our table and starts talking to us. She starts scolding and ridiculing us for not "respecting our elders" since no one has acknowledged our grandmother's birthday yet. Having put up with enough of the criticism, I, being the sarcastic jokester that I am, go over to the other table, kneel down on my knees, and start bashing my forehead into the floor, giving my grandma a traditional kowtow.
Immediately, the whole family starts throwing fits. Picking me up from the ground and shoving me back towards the other side of the room. Being a seventeen year old guy, I'm downright kind of embarrassed so I remain quiet for the rest of the night.
On my way home, my parents start yelling at me once again in the car. So I question what the fuss is all about since I've learned in my global history class that the kowtow is a symbol of respect to the highest power. However my mom explained to me that the kowtow had a whole 'nother meaning from their province of China. As it turns out, the kowtow is only used in their little province to worship the dead. Therefore, I wasn't showing any signs of respect to my gramma, but wishing her death... ON HER BIRTHDAY. | kowtowed to my gramma as a sign of irony, turned out i was cursing her with death on her birthday. |
t3_nvu3w | Cooking | stock my kitchen (sort of) | not sure if this is the best place for this...
so i am getting married soon, and since my fiancee has already claimed the baby registry, im in charge of the Wedding Registry. other that a few house hold things, most of the stuff we agreed on needing is lots of kitchen stuff. we are due in may, and i have one more year of my undergraduate, then some graduate school. i will most likely be moving for grad school. we both cook fairly frequently, and a good at cooking, we are just looking for some nicer and specialty equipment. | I need some gear that someone who cooks a lot would enjoy having and would expand the possibilities of my kitchen, not just the ordinary. |
t3_3a4lhk | relationships | My [24M] girlfriend [25F]'s ex-best friend [24M] recently reached out to me trying to send my girlfriend her regards and trying to rekindle a friendship. This girl (the friend) is a train wreck. Should I tell my girlfriend? | In short, my girlfriend has been under a lot of stress with the amount of studying for finals she has been having to do with her finals. I did not think twice to not tell her about this situation.
My girlfriend has known this "friend" since childhood, but she is a terrible influence. I do not like her in any way, and neither does anyone my girlfriend knows who is remotely intelligent. This girl has already mothered children (and had them taken from her) and is having another offspring. She is also separated from her marriage. In short, she is toxic. But enough about her.
Should I even tell my girlfriend she attempted to reach out to me over social media (note I do not even have her added on any of my social media accounts)? She blocked her so her ex-friend cannot contact her in any way. This is probably not something she needs to worry about because of her studies and recent successes. This person has tried getting under her skin so much in the past and trying to convince her that her current friends have been gossiping about her and she finally decided to block all contact. Girlfriend did well on her finals so I have the option to say something, or not. I really want to just ignore it all. The ex-friend doesn't even live here. | Girlfriend's toxic ex-friend tried reaching out to me to try to make up with my girlfriend. I have been pondering if I should tell her or ignore it entirely. |
t3_1sxehl | relationships | Me [17M] with my crush [17F] , first time ever truly liking someone but doesn't seem that feelings are mutual. | Ok, so basically this all began during our homecoming this past November. I have never spoken to this girl before but we both know who each other are, so we talked and danced at homecoming, I felt that we really hit it off, so I gave her my number and she sends me a text about 10 minutes after we leave.
We text almost everyday from that time but at times she would just stop responding and it wasn't till last week that we actually started to talk to each other face to face. (Keep in mind she's slightly awkward to talk to). We both meet each other in the school library and we just talk till the period is over. On these occasions we would ask each other before whether they are going to the library or not. This one time i didn't ask her whether she was going and neither did she but she still showed up to the library and so did I.
It's not till yesterday that she tweeted "the guy I really want to talk to isn't talking to me", when her and I spoke about an hour ago, so all my suspicions that she was talking about me were gone. So I don't know where to go from there because what if she does have feelings but not as much as I do. When we would meet each other she would flirt with me and I would do the same. I am really attracted to this girl and so are many other guys at my school, so as you can tell I am really lost on what I should do. My friends tell me to tell her that I like her and if she does to... but I'm not sure how that'll turn out. | I don't understand this girl, at times she seems like she likes me and at other times it doesn't seem like she does. |
t3_3lkrub | relationships | I [20M] have been with my girlfriend [18F] for a couple of months now, I still feel strange about the age difference. | I'm 20 years old and she is 18 turning 19 in a month's time. The age difference is not huge, but our lives have been very different. I have lived abroad for a year, traveled a fair bit and just had a larger variety of experiences, it seems, she has only really seen her hometown and hasn't ventured too far away or experienced anything that different.
I love her and her lack of life experience doesn't turn me off whatsoever. It's just I don't know how to go about the relationship, we have such different perspectives and I want to show her how I see things and encourage her to grow up and try new things, but I don't want to 'change' her and try to project someone new onto her.
Over the past few days I've been sending her a lot of messages trying to explain what I mean, and I've ended up going in circles and confusing myself. It boils down to feeling on a separate level from her due to the different things I've done and experienced and due to my age, and I don't know what to do about it or whether it's something that will change or that I can help to change. | I feel older than my SO and I feel insecure about it. I'm looking for advice from other people's past experiences. |
t3_crx7u | AskReddit | I'm a college student depressed about my future. Is this normal? | I've got one year of college left. I'm majoring in what is more or less film production. I've always wanted to make films, but honestly, for the last half a year or so I've been pretty depressed about it.
Fall semester this past school year I was in Production 2. The next semester I wanted to get into an Immersion class where I would be making commercials for downtown businesses in the city, so I had to talk to the head of the project (also my advisor) about it and she asked me to bring her my reel.
I showed her what was I thought was the best thing on it, and she in so many words told me it wasn't very good, and that I should take Production 2 and try again. Maybe I just took that too hard.
I haven't done any internships because me/my family is far from loaded and I have to work in the summer to be able to afford school.
I have a friend who just this year got his shit together and moved out to Arizona, where he's already landing work on legit short film shoots and going to a school where the profs have worked on real features.
I feel like I've wasted my time. I go to a state university, I wish I would've gone to a film school. I feel like I'm already way behind most of my classmates because I haven't done an internship and I can't get into any of the classes for people that are more skilled. I don't think I'm any good, I feel like I've wasted my college education on a pipe dream, and I'm wishing I would've just gone to school for generic shit so I could've landed some crappy office job after college. I am pretty depressed that I am just going to spend the rest of my life working in the factory I currently work at as a summer job.
Feels like all I have to look forward to is alcoholism.
Am I just being stupid? | I feel like I suck and I've wasted my time in college and I'm not going to amount to anything in life. |
t3_3riw1q | self | Dates Fiancée 6 years. She gives her virginity to someone else. | My fiancee and I dated for six years. (Yesterday would have been six) There was nothing wrong with our relationship. It was our first for both of us. Our first everything. Our first kiss, love, everything but sex. She is very catholic. I respected her wish and agreed to wait for her until marriage. We did a lot of other stuff, but never fully did.
Fast forward 3 days ago. She breaks up with me. She tells me we are too codependent and that we need to find ourselves outside of a relationship. She said I manipulated her because I asked her if she could keep her hair long and told her I liked a certain dreas. I shouldn't tell her what to do or wear and she needs to find herself without me.
Alright. Fair enough. Today, I find out that she had sex with some guy she's known for 3 months who doesn't even know her. She texts me out of guilt. And says it's my fault for manipulating her and leaving her venerable. | Fiance saving her virginity for marriage. Dates me six years. Breaks up with me and gives it away 3 days later to random guy. Any worse break up stories? |
t3_rwy3w | AskReddit | Life is about to get tough for my family. What do I do, reddit? | Hey reddit, my mom is about to lose her business because she's losing money by keeping it alive. She's actually dumping her own savings account into it. We all know this is bad, and that closing is probably the only option.
But the thing is, I'm not sure what other job my mom would qualify for. She's been managing the small business (we're talkin' ~3 employees max) and doing the bookkeeping since the late 80s. It was doing OK until my father, a co-owner of the business, passed away recently. Plus, she doesn't have a college degree. The last thing I want is to see her working retail for the rest of her life. reddit, what do you think she would qualify for?
We really need advice on how to reshape our lives. Do we move to a smaller house? I don't know.
Any advice or tips is greatly appreciated, thanks all. | My mom's business isn't doing well, and needs to close. She has 26 years of managing and bookkeeping experience, but no college degree. What does she qualify for? |
t3_44t85i | relationships | Me [16 F] has a best friend [17 F] of 2 years who is angry/sad that I'm not into the same thing anymore. | We both used to be REALLY into Homestuck. But I've been bored of the same fandom for a quite long. I try to be happy or excited for her whenever she fangirls (since I know how much it means to her) but after a while it gets really boring and sadly I can't hide my bored expression (I try). I want to respect her feelings for the comic and I don't want to offend her but whenever she sees I'm bored of the same topic she feels offended (at least that's the impression I get.) We do share lots of similar interests (and passions). I tried introducing new things to her but she lives and breathes homestuck. I guess you could say she is addicted to the fandom? (I have nothing against the fandom and I still enjoy aspects of it. But I'm just not a fangirl anymore). And it's tearing our relationship :( I don't want things to turn ugly and would like to keep a healthy friendship. How can I? What should I do? | My friend is dissapointed/angry that I'm not into the same thing as she is. We have tons of other interests but the only thing she can think of is Homestuck. |
t3_wgd52 | AskReddit | I don't know where else to turn. I have a lighter that I have never seen before or since. Has anyone else? Also to ask a bit more open ended question, does anyone know how to refill a BIC? I googled to no avail. | I know yes or no question aren't supposed to be posted, and if this gets deleted I totally understand, I just literally don't know how else to find out this information. About 4-6 months ago I found a banana yellow lighter at a Circle K and immediately bought it. There is a very common yellow lighter, but it is more of a gold than a banana.
[On the left] is the very common "yellow" lighter but on the right is the true yellow lighter and the only one of it's kind I've ever seen. I'm truly curious as to whether or not I'm sitting on a one-of-a-kind. If it is one-of-a-kind, I'd love to be able to refill it and continue to use it. | Anyone ever see a lighter like the one on the [right] and does anyone know how to refill a BIC. |
t3_4revvr | relationships | My [28f] bf [32] thought our waitress at a restaurant was super cute. He's been obsessively trying to find her Facebook??? | We went to eat at Apple Bees, and our waitress was a very young looking girl, definitely pretty, and my bf liked her. He knew I was upset that he was even checking her out, and when we got home and started trying to find her Facebook. He couldn't, so he'd try googling. She looked 21-23, and nothing like me. So I'm insecure and upset..when I told him I didn't like that, he got super defensive and told me I'm being a dumb girl and too sensitive. He's never done this before with anyone. Never even likes celebrities. What do I do? | boyfriend liked our waitress a little too much, and is now obsessively trying to find her on Facebook and online. My feelings are hurt and he says I'm being dumb and too sensitive. What do I do? |
t3_3xul1r | relationships | [M22] After some unsuccessful online LDRs, I want to meet someone local, but I fear my recently discovered kinks would make that more challenging. | It's tough when you end up meeting someone online who you really click with, only to find out they live thousands of miles away, then things falling apart after a couple months "together". Not too long ago things have fallen out between me and my most recent online girlfriend, which makes me single again.
But that brings up a problem for me. Those online relationships are my only experiences with relationships. Never have I had someone who was local and "real".
Mind you it has been a while since I tried anything significant in that regard (Many first dates that never got farther than that), as I was involved with the mentioned relationships during that time. Also in that time I've discovered some interesting things about myself. My previous relationships were of the Dom (Me)/Sub (Her) dynamic (among other saucy kinks), and things just felt so right and fulfilling in that role.
But here's my delema. Obviously things like kinks aren't something you talk about with the girl you just met at the bookstore, and finding girls online LOCALLY that share the same kinks isn't easy from my experience. Plus there's the chance of meeting someone really great, only to be disappointed in the kink department, or her being creeped out by them.
**As a means to help me out, here's my question. To the kinkier folks out there, how did you meet your equally freaky SO? | After some unsuccessful online LDRs, I'm looking to meeting local girls that share similar kinks, but I'm fairly inexperienced so some pointers would be helpful. |
t3_2j5vsn | tifu | TIFU by deeply inhaling girlfriends hot bathwater cured mega-farts. Vomiting & hilarity ensues. | This happened last week.
My girlfriend and I were on vacation and our room had one of those really big bath tubs. We had just gotten back from eating at a steak house and smokin a j.
Naturally we wanted to get naked so we decide to get in the tub and hang out. We're facing eachother now and I'm sitting up while she's laying back because the spigot is behind my head. So my face is roughly above her bajingo.
We're just talking, when suddenly she let out one tiny bubble and we both start laughing so hard. Well all the laughing let out just a stream of bubbles every time she laughed.
It was all like bUbbBLuLBLublUBlUb BlUbbLublU bubbbneleelLULBleubbbbbb bubblubblubbB bluuuhhb. Bleuwp.
I was just mesmerized looking down at all these bubbles.. not even being able to think quick enough and realize what was going to happen next...
My breath draws it in... this fuckin h2o soaked fucking invisible shit particles soaked in a gas so dense and ratchet it could have powered a camping stove long enough to make breakfast for every single fucking member of the fucking Brady bunch including ducking Alice and her fat fucking husband.
I feel it.. I FUCKING FEEL IT INSIDE ME. I gag involuntarily and jump out of the tub and out of the bathroom.
I proceed to gag involuntarily about 3-4 more times. I'm talking epic award-winning gags. The last one directed at the sink in the wetbar, because I could just feel it coming. I threw up in the damn sink.
I walk back in and she's laughing uncontrollably. The Fuck.
I can't say it wasn't fucking hilarious though. Which is really what we needed after a disappointing day. We shared a good laugh but I gave her a lot of shit for it.
...and will continue to do so. | inhaled potent warm water cured ass bomb from my girlfriend in the tub. Epic earth-moving gags 5x. Barf. |
t3_2zhe2a | relationships | Me [20 F] with my partner [23 M] of 2 years tainted our relationship and now I'm scared I don't love him anymore. | I'm dating my best friend, my legit other half, and for the 2 years we've been together I've done nothing but love him with all my heart.
Unfortunately, when we started dating he pushed an open relationship on me and slept with a few people who I wasn't comfortable with, without asking me. When one of his FWB tried to break us up and I found out. After this incident he promised it would just be me and him, and then he slept with the FWB and I broke up with him.
A few weeks of absolute heart break later he begged to come back and said he changed. He's an entirely new person than when we met now, and he has 100% proven that to me, he has made up for his mistakes tenfold. But that was a year ago and I'm afraid I'm never going to be able to forget about it. It doesn't consume my life like it used to, but every now and again I look and him and just remember how bad it hurt to be in that situation.
Ever since that incident had happened, we've been in an LDR because he moved back to his home town to start over. I see him twice a month and every time he loves me more than the last.
For the past month I just can't feel the love anymore. I look at him and he's still my best friend and I don't want anything to happen to him, but I don't feel like I love him anymore.
Every night I wonder if I could do better, if I could just start over and have a relationship without an awful backstory. I don't want to hurt him, I want to love him again, but I don't know how. I've been trying to bring it up for the past month and every time I try I choke and I can't. Even when I just talk about the past and what happened he immediately starts crying and saying he doesn't want to lose me, and I have to comfort him. I have no idea how to talk about something this scary. | I don't love my boyfriend anymore, I want to try to get it back, and I don't want to hurt him. |
t3_4lhdv2 | dating_advice | [20M] Interested in a friend [18F], don't want to come off too strongly | I posted this over on /r/relationships:
>There's a girl I've spent a lot of time with lately and I've developed a big crush on her. We share a large amount of interests, thoughts, opinions, etc. to the point that she's repeatedly said how "in sync" we are. She also told me she broke up with her previous boyfriend because they weren't very compatible.
>It seems like she might be into me, but I don't have a lot of self-confidence and can't shake the feeling she's just being friendly. I like being friends with her and don't want to jeopardize that by asking her out. I'm a complete amateur at the whole "dating" thing so any advice would be appreciated.
> | I have a crush on my friend, I think she might like me but I can't be sure. Don't know what I should do. |
t3_3r2z2s | Advice | I (19/M) Had to turn my friends (19-20/M&F) away after they came to visit me because I found out last minute that we had too many people to get into a party. | I live in the city and halloween is pretty big business here. Everyone dresses up and a lot of people have parties. I invited my friends to come into the city and visit me telling them we could go to a party. I had cleared that I was bringing roughly 10 people with my friend who was hosting and everything was looking up.
Fast forward to 1 HOUR before we are going to all leave for the party and she tells me that a lot of other people had invited others to her house, which is not very large, and that she is worried about the police coming. She told me not to bring 10 people with me and I basically had to look all of my friends in the eyes who had come in from outside the city and tell them that we couldn't go.
I felt like such a jerk because I hadn't seen some of them since the summer and they were excited to hang out with me. But as soon as they heard we couldn't get into the party they immediately decided to leave. I wish so badly that all of last night didn't happen but it did and now I can't stop thinking about everything and how upset they must be with me. | I had to send all of my friends home who came to see me because last minute the party we were going to got out of hand. |
t3_hgbk9 | AskReddit | How do I deal with a bitchy and disrespectful roommate? | I live in a two bedroom apartment with three other girls (two girls in each bedroom). Recently, one of the girls from the other room decided that the best way to tell us things was through passive-aggressive notes put in certain places as seen here: (those are not the only ones).
On top of that, she now decides that she hates my boyfriend because he comes over too often (in MY room, where she doesn't even have to see him), and because he doesn't lock the door when he leaves. She has called him a "douchebag", "faggot", "dick", etc. straight to my face, and told me to tell him to go home. She has no reason to even think that because all he's ever been is respectful to her and has even done favors for him.
Now she's calling ME an "inconsiderate bitch". The thing is, if she had been nice about it and told me directly that she had problems with something, I would be much more susceptible to change. But when she simply leaves notes all over the place and then blows up and bitches people out when things don't change, I have no respect for her.
What should I do? :/ | Roommate is a passive-aggressive bitch who lacks communication skills and brain cells. Apparently hates my boyfriend and doesn't want me to have him over. How do I deal? |
t3_m73xh | AskReddit | Teacher refuses to teach. What can I do? | Here's some little backstory..
Class starts, just as usual and the discussion goes on to locations where you're supposed to save your work files. The teacher says that if you save your files in a wrong place he will just delete it and give you an F because you didn't return any work. Fair enough I guess and then he says that it's *fun* to do this and kick students in the head sometimes.
After this we start doing some excel excersises and a class mate gets frustrated and hits the keyboard. Teacher gets angry about this and yells at him. Fair enough. After the shouting he mumbles something like: Damn im glad im a teacher.
Lunchbreak occurs and this is where the shit hits the fan. Someone created about 3 random files which you can create by rightclicking and selecting New.. so text files, shortcuts etc. Teacher comes back from lunch, asks who did this, no one answers and then says: Alright, teaching ends here and the contents of this entire 4 hours will be in the test (We had only 2 hours of teaching at this point). He also said that next week if no one turns in the entire 4 hours he wont teach and the contents of those classes will also be in the test.
I could have left when he said he wont teach anymore but he said that he would come check attendance at 14.00 and if you weren't ther e then, you would get automatically 4 hours of truancy.
Is there anything I could do here? Who should I contact? I really wouldn't like to get an F from the final test just because someone made a few textfiles. I do not know who created the files. Im currently in the first year of vocational school. | Someone made couple random files, teacher refuses to teach untill someone takes responsibility for this and says that the contents what we should be going through will be in the final test. |
t3_4xiapu | relationships | I [20F] am so scared of me and my SO [21M] of two years having mismatched libidos. | Because I love him so much.
I might get a lot of backlash for this, considering that I am the LL-partner but here's my biggest fear...
I have never been much of a sexual person. I started masturbating at 17, and while I have no problems with getting clitoral orgasms (and several of them), I do not need sex nor masturbation. I find it nice and therefore I want it, but so many things stops me from wanting it, but the biggest thing is being tired after working/studying all day. So basically, I mostly want it when I don't feel as tired and stressed out, which is only a few times a week.
My SO, on the other hand, could have sex all day every day, no matter how many tests he has or how much he needs to do. He masturbates twice a day if we are not having sex. If we haven't had sex in a couple of days, he starts to miss me a lot and becomes a bit of a nag about me coming there (we don't live together).
I always feel so guilty when I come to his place after a 12 hour shift at work and basically cannot move from the bed, while he is caressing me and obviously wanting something. I always feel so guilty when I feel him breathing heavily in my ear while just wanting rest. I always feel so guilty when I would rather be alone so I don't have to feel so guilty about not wanting sex.
I have asked him outright if he is not satisfied with how often we have sex, and he has said that he is satisfied. But I have this nagging feeling that he definitely is not, and it is killing me.
I don't know what to do. I am so scared of this ruining our relationship of two years because I know how important it is. I am on the pills, but it is not an option to change because it balances out my moods and I have no periods.
How do people solve these issues? Is this a compability issue that is breaking our relationship? Am I in the wrong for not wanting sex? | My SO wants sex very often, while I am heavily influenced by exhaustion. At this point, I would rather be alone than feel guilty for not wanting sex. How do we solve this? |
t3_27d85b | offmychest | After 2 years | I met my wife while she was away from her family at school. It wasn't possible to meet them because of finances and long distance. We dated and eventually got married. Now that I have met them they are a total mess. I understood from my wife that they were a little outside of optimal but after meeting them I get a full understanding of what she meant.
Come to find out, her father and mother were both very abusive and she has developed, rightly so, severe anxiety and a borderline personality disorder because of it. We have a daughter and my wife is practicing attachment parenting in order to not perpetuate the effects of poor parenting that she suffered as a child and young adult. She is suffering burnout and has lost control of her reasoning. I have offered my help but she is very stubborn. Burnout coupled with the borderline personality disorder has caused her emotional and rational states to become uncontrollable. She lashes put at me consistently for not hovering over the child and letting her explore and do her thing. She often believes that someone is in the house trying to kill her. She takes on multiple responsibilities to avoid painful memories of her childhood but ultimately becomes dissolutioned and bogged down. She has openly admitted to me that she has a problem with chronic lying that she developed as a kid to avoid being abused. This has led me to question my trust in her. I don't know when I'm ever getting the truth. I know she told me out f confidence but that kind of statement can be confusing for someone to hear.
I know these are a lot of independent thoughts and I have tried it string them together as logically As I could in order to get the situation across. I simply worry about my wife and daughter's well-being but it is going to the point where I don't know if i can keep dealing with her paranoid delusions, extreme anxiety, and over the top reactions to seemingly low stimuli. | My wife has borderline personality disorder, we have a daughter, and I don't know if i can live with my wife anymore. |
t3_1ge4ls | relationships | I (18m) think that my best friend of 2 years (18f) is now attracted to me, and I could really use some advice | Basically this. Back story. We've been best friends for the past two years in high school, so I thought that any chance of being more than friends had long since passed (which, I'll admit, really depressed me at first). She met a really cool guy around the time we became friends and I have nothing against him, except a little remnant jealousy which I never showed. Despite this, she and I still talked all the time and never really grew apart, and we kinda had an unspoken mutual understanding that we would just be friends.
Fast forward to present day, and over the past couple months she's been talking to me a lot more than usual, and avoiding any mention of her boyfriend. When I ask how he is, she just shrugs off the question, saying "I don't know", "Fine, I guess", etc. We've also been going out a lot more, and she's been a lot more...touchy lately? (Haha). Playful punches, pulling my arm, hugging...you get the idea. The point where I think it became really obvious that something was up was when she told me to listen to "If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz, saying that she'd really think I'd like it...to spare you a few minutes, it's about a guy that loves his best friend but can't tell her because she has a boyfriend.
To be perfectly honest, I would still love to be with her. I've known her for so long and we tell each other pretty much everything, but we've always been 'just friends' and nothing more. I'm worried that if I just ask her if she has any feelings for me, I might be wrong and lose my best friend. Additionally, I refuse by personal decision to do anything with her while she's still in a relationship, but I have no idea how her relationship is going because she keeps shrugging off the question. Any idea what I should do? Am I completely misinterpretting this? | I think my best friend that is currently in a relationship likes me but I have no idea how to approach the situation, what should I do? |
t3_2qzdxq | tifu | TIFU by not giving my barber a tip for the holidays. | So I went to go get my hair cut by my barber who happens to have cut my hair since I was five years old. In previous years, I've always given him at least five dollars in addition to what I usually tip him on top of the price for my haircut during the holidays. However, this past year has been rough for me financially speaking. My first child was born, my wife hasn't worked in three years and my credit card companies are savaging my insides like as if I was their prison beesh. So I felt that I wasn't able to tip him on top of my usual tip this year. After my usual routine of thanking him for keeping my hair looking fresh, I paid what was owed, gave him my usual tip and as I was about to wish him a "Merry Christmas," I noticed that he had paused and was waiting for me to give him his annual holiday tip. Instead, I shrugged it off and said happy holidays and got out of there as if I had just been made counting cards by a pit boss at a Vegas casino. Now I usually live by a few simple rules. One of them being "Don't f&%$ with your waiter, barber, boss, mechanic or neighbor." Now I feel like I can't get my hair cut there anymore since I have pissed him off. | Didn't give my barber his usual holiday tip. Now I don't feel comfortable getting my hair cut from the guy who has cut my hair since I was five. |
t3_e1t76 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need advice, and I feel like I'm being controlled. What seems like the best course of action? | Well, quite simply, I've played hockey my entire life. Right now, I'm going to an easier college, but I've been accepted to a more prestigious school due to... some help from the hockey team. My father helps coach, partially because my brother plays on the team, and he wants me to play on the team. After being dedicated to hockey forever, it has been fantastic taking this short break. My original plan was to stay at my easy school for 2 ish years, and then apply for this school. I was pretty sure I could get accepted later, but I'm not sure how turning them down would look in the future. Actually having a life has been quite nice, but I may not get back into this school later.
As a little background info, my dad was born in Canada in kind of a poor family. He didn't get to play hockey as much as he would have liked, so he can't understand wanting to take a break.
It's like I am letting my parents down if I don't play on this team, but I can't stand feeling like I'm being controlled. Going to a school just for my parents is frustrating. I'm torn on what to do. Do I man up and just suck it up in my college career, or take a break and try to get in later? | I'm going to an easy college, but parents want me to go to another more prestigious college so I can play on the hockey team. I want to take a break with hockey, but may not get another chance at this school. |
t3_4yc4ol | Advice | My friend is taking poor life decisions, and I can't seem to stop worrying about him | So a bit of background about him. This guy is super into video games, he want's to be a video game developer/designer. So he entered a good uni in our country in Computer science major, he did 2 years (out of 3) and then left, he doesn't want to do CS anymore because, "It's not what I want, I'm not good in CS, I want to major in game design". Somewhere in the middle of that, me and him participated in a game competition held by microsoft, and we won locals (which gave him a huge boost to quit CS), then we lost in semi-finals.
Ok, so, I'm ok with following your dreams and such, but don't make it in to your number 1 life goal. Because:
1- we live in a country where video game development jobs is next to impossible to find (because there are none)
2- you already managed 2 years out 3, why not end this last damn year?
3- you're already facing financial problems where you could've solved with a CS related job.
4- your mom is begging us to change your mind to continue uni.
(I have said theses points to him yesterday, except 4)
This problem might be small and he'll figure it out on his own, but I know him waay to much that he won't change his mind. I love this dude so much because he have been beside me all the time. But I can't be on his side on this one, I want him to continue college and get a job, and maybe develop some games on this in your free time. | friend doesnt want to continue college (which he's almost done with) to pursue the "i want to be a video game dev" dream, which is non existent where we live. |
t3_4v35hx | relationships | Me [26M] with my hard to define[24F]relationship needs help. | So,First of all first time posting, English is not my native tongue.
We met on tinder over a month ago and we hit it off right from the start, we had a hilarious 2 day joke going on and decided to meet up. Ever since we've been going on multiple dates trough the week/end we go out have some food or just something to drink and chat we've met some of each others friends and family i think we're at a total of 20 dates now. We both come out of a relationship where the other was not valued and misunderstood but we're basically the same person just an other gender.
So this is where it gets hard we always have so much fun we can talk about anything and have been talking about a lot of different things. But even tho we have been dating for so long and exclusively each other we still have not kissed. We talked about it and she says she needs to be a little more sure of us. This scared me a little because i'm a pretty shy guy and have a hard time reading into girls body language when it comes to making the first move. She always speaks in the future tense about us, we've made plans to go on trips together in the future and have the same perspectives on life. She told me she feels like the spark is there between us and that she has feelings for me as i do for her i'm head over heals about her. But I'm also afraid to lose what we have now if i try to kiss her. What should I do? She's basically everything I've ever been looking for we hit it off so good and have the best times we chat each day we text trough out the day let each other know how their day is going and if something funny or sad happens. For me this already feels like a relationship but we just have not kissed yet. I've been going on about a million different scenario's in my head and i can't seem to find the right answer. | Met a great girl, went on 20 dates, still no kiss, mutual feelings to eachother, what to do? |
t3_y05u4 | self | Life choice that I need some help deciding on. TL;DR included inside. | At 7:30 this morning my wife's uncle passed away from an OD. He was not well liked by his family and mostly abandoned his kids and stole from his parents (violently). It's still extremely sad because this guy is survived by his 6 kids. Some of them are still at the age where they just know to love their dad regardless of how much interaction they get to have with him.
My selfish predicament is that I really don't feel the need for me to go to his funeral. Now, if I lived in the immediate area I wouldn't think twice, but I am an 8 hour drive or a couple of plane tickets I can't really afford away. The job I have right now can't really let me take off work to go. My wife also isn't comfortable driving the 8 hours herself to go to the funeral. Finally, she seems to really want me to go with her, so she doesn't have to deal with the stress and family sadness alone. | Disliked step-uncle dies; still sad; I don't want to drive 16 total hours/spend more than I can afford on plane tickets to go to his funeral, but wife wants me to support her. |
t3_2u6jp3 | relationships | My [24 F] girlfriend will not stop talking about getting married and I'm [27 M] not ready for it. | It's been a rough relationship. In the first six months of our relationship, we experienced a lost pregnancy via miscarriage. As if relationship wasn't complicated enough, we live and work together.
She comes from a traditional family who was not happy to hear that she was living with her boyfriend of eight months. She is under a lot of pressure from her family to get engaged and married. I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment.
We had talked about it when we found out she was pregnant, but before we could even start planning a shotgun wedding, she miscarried. She now holds this over my head and claims that if I loved her, we would have gotten married the minute we found out she was pregnant. We hadn't even been to the doctor to get an ultrasound, so I wanted to wait to make sure it was official and not a false positive. It was within the six week window where miscarriage is the most likely and I wanted to make sure we didn't rush into anything.
Now, it seems literally every other conversation we have is about getting engaged and she's making me put timelines on everything. Engagement, wedding, kids, buying a house. We haven't even been dating a year. Any time I tell her that it's too soon to talk about something like that, she says I shouldn't have moved in with her or holds the miscarriage over my head.
I do love her and would like to marry her some day, but her impatience and pushy attitude is making me have second thoughts about whether or not she's the one I should be with. | My girlfriend/roommate/coworker of less than a year wants to get married ASAP and I'm not ready to take that step. |
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