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t3_1en3xm | relationship_advice | I[F19] need to talk to my SO[M18] about something and I don't know how. | I've been dating my SO for about 4 months. Since we've started dating it has only been about love, laughing, and foreplay. We haven't had any issues at all, we tend to communicate very well when something is bothering us. Lately though I have been getting a bit jealous if one of his friends[F18] they are always talking while I'm at work/school and so on. I didn't really mind at first. It wasn't till recently that I met her in person. I saw how flirty she was with him, in front of me. She also hinted a lot of stuff they talked about. Like talking about my intimacy with my SO. I kind of got used to guys talking about that to their GUY friends, I never had that happened with a girl. It bothered me. I just don't like her. You can consider them best friends, but they only recently started talking.
To be honest, I'm just a bit insecure. I feel like she wants to take him away from me. I have reasons for this... We broke up for a bit, she was dating his best friend. She dumped him, and when they were both single she tried every move on him. Thankfully we still talked and wanted to be with each other. So I don't THINK anything happened between them. How do I tell him she bothers me? and the fact that he talks about our personal things with her?
I'm usually good with talking to him, but this time I can't, like the words don't come out. I don't want to be that girlfriend that doesn't let him have opposite-sex friends. But this is REALLY bugging me. | Boyfriend has a female friend that possibly still likes him, they talk about our intimacy. It bothers me a lot. |
t3_3weiyh | relationships | Bf [25 M] gave himself an enema in my [26 F] house's bathtub...am I overreacting? | I have been going out with my boyfriend, Robby, for about 8 months now. He spends about two nights a week at my place (a house with a few other people in it) and I usually spend a night a week at his apartment.
This week he was staying over, we had sex, and then he went to the bathroom. I had to go to and asked him if I could come in. He said "he was using the tub" and that I could come in if I wanted. I did and was really shocked that he was giving himself an enema. I saw that he was squatting on the edge of the tub with a tube coming out of his butt.
I'm not sure why but I like started retching at this arrangement. I've never seen someone give themselves an enema before no less know that Robby did that...in my tub. I didn't know how to react and just left while he finished up. When he came out he tried to comfort me or whatever but it just felt gross.
This was a problem in and of itself but I was also grossed out by the bathtub, which now what his enema...stuff...in it. I asked him if he had done it before and he said that he had but he usually cleaned up or whatever. This to me seems really disrespectful. Like why would you do an enema in someone else's bathtub without asking? We argued about it and he just kept repeating that it's clean but for me it was a bigger issue than that. I wouldn't eat off of a counter someone had shit on even if they then cleaned up the shit.
Am I overreacting here? I don't really want to talk to my friends about it for obvious reasons. | I walked in on my bf giving himself an enema in my bathtub. Am I right to feel that this is disrespectful? |
t3_1aj2jy | relationships | I (25F) think it's time to meet my boyfriend's (25M) parents - he doesn't seem to care | My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) have been officially dating for 9 months. Before we started actually dating, we were very close friends for about a year. By very close friends I mean that we were hanging out for 5-8 hour stretches of time for 5-6 days a week for about 6+ months straight. I was getting out of another bad relationship, and he was patiently waiting for me to be officially available. He told me he loved me about 2 months into our actual "dating," and I was the first girl he ever said that first too. Because we were close friends for a while before becoming a couple, I had no problem inviting him to spend Thanksgiving at my parent's house this past November. We spent about 3 days with my family.
My boyfriend and I are semi-long distance in that we live about 2 hours apart and see each other every other, if not every, weekend. We are planning on living in the same city starting this summer. In the past my boyfriend has introduced a few (I'm not really sure how many) girls to his parents, but he has never actually brought a girl home (meaning taken a girlfriend home with him to spend a weekend with his family). His longest relationship was about a year and a half, and he readily admits that this is his most serious relationship. I know that his past girlfriends have gotten upset with him, and fought with him continuously about not meeting his parents or being invited home with him.
I have asked him in the past if/when he plans on introduce me to his parents, and his response is just that he has thought about it. He will be going home very soon for a visit - nothing special planned, just hasn't seen them in a while. When he mentioned this visit, I immediately hoped to be invited. He has made no indication that I will be invited. I feel upset and hurt. I think it's time for me to meet them, but I don't want to bug him about it until he invites me just because he thinks he has to, especially because it's something he has fought with exes about. | boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months, very close friends for about 2 years, he spent a holiday with my family, I think it's time that I meet his. |
t3_2rkxzh | relationships | I [20M] need to know how to straightforwardly express my feelings to my crush/neighbor [20F] | Hey /r/relationships! Long-time lurker first time post here. I just want to start off by saying this is one of my favorite subs on reddit. So thanks for making this community so great guys :-).
Ok I guess I should start with my post. There is this girl who lives in my neighborhood. We went to middle school and high school together but we never really talked much (I'm really shy until you get to know me). I've always had the biggest crush on her, but I never managed to let her know in high school. We both graduated, she went to college in a different city, I stayed in our hometown and went to community college and continued to work at a crappy restaurant.
The other day I was walking my dog in my neighborhood and I saw her drive by (she must be home on Christmas break). We 100% made eye contact and all the feelings I felt for her in high school came rushing back. I looked her up on Facebook and she got even prettier in college. Only hang up is she has a boyfriend :-(. I figured nobody ever got anywhere in life by not trying, so I worked up the courage to send her a message.
I said "Hey, I know we never really talked in high school, but I just wanted you to know I used to have the biggest crush on you lol." I saw that she read the message pretty much immediately, but it's been like four hours and she hasn't responded.
Any ideas on how I can get my feelings across? Her boyfriend looks like a complete douche bag and even though I've never been in an actual relationship, I'm sure I could treat her better than just about anyone. I just don't know how to express this!
Thanks /r/relationships, I know I can count on you guys! | Saw my high school crush recently, really would love to re-connect but I can't figure out how to make it happen! Any advice? |
t3_3n5r4b | tifu | Tifu by texting a girl who doesn't know i exist | so i have this one girl in my band class at school and i obtained her number after talking for a while. later on, i text her saying: "hey it's Op here, just wanted to make sure i have the right number". and she responds with "(my name) who?". the next scene altogether is a cluster of awkward cause she responds with "oh, that guy from band, right?" and at this point i swear shes joking so i tell her: "yeah, that one guy who talks to u all the time". and SHE MISTAKES me for some other guy in our class AND THEN ASKS FOR A DATE. i now tell her who exactly i am and she says: "oh ok never mind it's you". i stopped texting her at that very moment and decided to continue on with my daily life. | texted girl from class,she mistakes me for some other guy and pretty much confesses to him thinking I'm him. |
t3_17261y | AskReddit | How can I manage my (unreasonable?) anxiety? | Having a lot of issues with my girlfriend and she left to stay the night at her mom's a few weeks ago because of how bad everything got. She's back now and we're trying to slowly work things out without overwhelmingly each other again and I keep going into panic mode and fucking everything up by being clingy.
I've always had trust issues (even though she never really gave me reasons too, I'd just find inconsistencies so often I started feeling like she wasn't trying to keep my trust but I realize now I sort of pushed her into doing that) and its like they're even worse now because I'm afraid of her leaving. So now when I try to be affectionate and get shut down (or in some cases, just treated how I used to treat her without realizing) it brings me crashing down into depression and anxiety wondering if she still wants to even be around me which leads to trying to be more affectionate (cause that makes sense?) and I end up being the overly clingy boyfriend who always needs more attention.
Doing all of this is making our whole situation worse and probably making her sick(er?) of me but it's so hard to not feel that way even knowing all that. It's like I can't stop myself from acting that way and it's because I can't stop feeling that way.
How do I calm down and stop worrying about our relationship, so that I can have a chance at actually fixing it?
I've had anxiety like this before when I quit smoking (weed, withdrawal is noticeably worse for me than others) and she's always been there to help me deal with it (too much so, which is part of the problem) so this is even scarier and harder since I no longer have her for that. And I'm cutting back on smoking now as well just to clear my head but I know it's also contributing to the anxiety. This is probably just irrelevant information though. But I know some ways to deal with anxiety already this just seems too intense to even start any of them. | How do I calm down and stop worrying about our relationship, so that I can have a chance at actually fixing it? |
t3_2s2wgj | relationship_advice | 25/m seeking advice with my 24/f girlfriend of 7 years who might be a lesbian. | Without troubling you guys with a wall of text, I'll give you the basics. I've been with her for going on 8 years now. We've always got along really well and we see eye-to-eye on most issues. Anyway, here lately I've noticed quite a few lifestyle changes on her part. She started wearing her hair short, and looking pretty butch. We've never been that couple that imposes rules or anything on our personal styles, so I let it ride because I thought her new haircut was cute. She's been bonding more and more with lesbians in grad school, which isn't a problem at all because we're both strong allies of the LBGT community. Before we moved here for her stint in grad school, we had a normal sex life. Lately, there's been nothing. I don't think much about it because she's never been crazy sexual in the past, but this six-month stretch is long ever by our standards.
This is the part where I screwed up. This morning I decided, after months of curiosity and dread, to read her facebook messages. I just needed proof of something, because of all the changes I've seen. I found a back-and-forth in her inbox with one of her friends, in which they discussed another friend's preference for hyperfem girls. Her friend then described her own preferences for female partners. Then my girlfriend told her friend that she'd always had a preference for super-butch women, but also likes soft butches, too. Especially butch women in briefs.
I'm pretty blown away right now. I know it was an invasion of privacy on my part, but I had to know. I've never snooped through her messages previously. Now that I know, I don't know how to react. Do I keep bottling it up, or do I call her on it and possibly ruin our relationship? It would basically ruin everything. | I've been in a relationship with someone for almost 8 years and found a message where she described the kind of women she likes. No evidence of infidelity, but a glaring example of our sexual incompatibility. |
t3_2xynlz | relationship_advice | How can I [19/f] act on my feelings for my long-time crush [19/m]? | I've liked J since the day I met him in high school, over 3 years ago. J turned out to like me back and a few months after we had met we had a "thing" going on (meaning we didn't have a relationship but knew we both had feelings for each other). Anyways, I felt too young to have a relationship and instead of telling him that, immature me just dropped him and told him I didn't like him. Yeah, it was stupid of me and I regretted it instantly. A while later J gets a girlfriend and they ended up dating for 2 and a half years, and they broke up this past october. I hadn't seen him since school ended in june, but recently saw him when he was with my other friends and we ended up all hanging out. I knew as soon as I started talking to him again that I still had those pesky feelings for him.
In an attempt to be my wing man (wing woman?) my friend B, who is friends with J, decided her and I as well as J and another guy, D, could go out for lunch. We ended up going to the mall afterwards and when J was in the bathroom, D told me that he asked J about me and he brought up how I fucked him over that one time years ago. I want to hang out with him more to see where things are going, but I rarely see him (I only saw him this time because my friend planned it). Because of the fact I never see him I get impatient and want things to move quickly, I don't want to come off as super interested in him and scare him off. I also don't want him to think that I would hurt him again and wreck my chances with him.
I thought of two approaches here:
* was thinking of texting him and saying that D and I were talking and ask if there are still hard feelings
* text him to make plans
If you guys have any advice or a better plan, it would be great. I'm really bad with dealing with things like this and I typically end up screwing myself over. Hopefully I included enough relevant detail in this post. Thanks for taking the time to read this! | I've had feelings for a guy for a long time but I never see him, and don't want to scare him off by being too forward or make the wrong move. |
t3_4x2mj3 | relationships | Me [27F] with my ex-BF [27M] of 1 year, misinformed about HPV, may get back together? | This is a throwaway because we are both avid redditors.
Five years ago I was diagnosed with a high risk HPV (my boyfriend at the time had been cheating on me, and this is how I found out unfortunately). I specifically asked my doctor if it goes away, and she said yes. So I start dating this great guy, and we talked about STDs. I didn't tell him about the HPV because my doc told me it goes away.
Well, we break up a year later. After a few months I decide to get back on the market. I did a little research on HPV out of curiosity only to discover that now stats show that HPV doesn't just go away. In many, the immune system just represses it, and it can still pop up many years later. HPV is extremely common, and it really isn't that big of a deal as long as you take care of yourself. Around 70% of Americans contract it at some point. So I'm not super worried about it.
So here's my problem: I never told him in the first place because of what my gyno told me (I have since learned not to be so trusting of doctors for other reasons as well), but he text me the other day and regrets breaking up. So what do I do if I decide to take him back? At this point there's a 50/50 chance I'd take him back. Now that I know this new info, should I tell him? Or just leave it alone since he probably has several strains anyway (the one from me, but his gf before me had over 30 sex partners). Should I only tell him if we get back together? | Gyno misinformed (?) me about HPV; I didn't tell my new bf. We broke up, but now he wants to get back together. Do I tell him? |
t3_268v5o | relationships | My (24f) fiance (24m) and I are going to be in a LDR for the first time ever in about 8 months. Looking for advice. | My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and we have lived together almost the entire time.
When I finish school at the end of this year I plan on moving about 9 hours away. We will probably be apart for anywhere between 4 to 10 months before he joins me in our new city.
We have a solid relationship and I'm actually excited for the opportunity to have my first-ever experience of living on my own. I think it will be good for us to do this for ourselves, plus at the end of it we will be able to buy our first home together!
We plan to try to meet in person to spend Saturday/Sunday together about every 2nd or 3rd weekend.
Basically, I'm just looking for advice, personal experiences, etc. I want to make this a positive experience for both of us. | My fiance and I will be living 9 hours apart for anywhere between 4 and 10 months. We would like advice on things to look out for, tips on making it work well, personal experiences, etc. |
t3_28re45 | relationships | Need advice with me [25 M] hooking up with a casual friend [21 F] | Basically a little history to set you up with what I'm working with. So I've known this girl for a long time, like 10+ years since we were kids. Her family and my family have been friends and we have many of the same social circles. One of my best friends is dating her sister. I've thought this girl was super cute for quite a few years but would always pursue at the wrong time. We aren't that close or anything but we do talk a couple minutes here and there when we run into each other.
I'm only ever available to see her on weekends, as we've got 120 miles between us but I make it down that way to see my family and friends quite often.
She's a tough cookie to crack sometimes, very tightly knit with her sisters, very shy and is hard to make conversation with sometimes but is pleasant to talk to. Recently I had overheard she's still looking to date more guys after my roommate had went out with her a few weeks ago.
My question is however, I know that texting to ask someone out is a bit silly, but would like calling her the day before and asking to hang out a decent thing to do? I'll most likely see her the night I get out of town but not sure what plan I have once I'm there.
I'm probably overthinking this a bit because of how long I've wanted to ask her out but I'm just going back and forth with how to do it and what to do in the event she says yes. I am out of a 2 year relationship over a month ago but have since started seeing people. Not sure if I'm ready for anything serious but hey life is full of surprises.
Any advice and ideas appreciated! | Friend of mine for 10+ years, some distance between us, not sure when I'll see her but is calling the night before a decent idea? |
t3_3gwpec | personalfinance | Grandmother wants to help pay off student loans, but is worried about leaving a trail? | My grandmother raised my sister and I from the time I was 8 until I was 14, when my mother's new husband rounded us up and moved us out of state and forced us to cut all contact with my grandparents. At 18 he kicked me out of their house and I was left to pay for college myself. By the time I was able to reconnect with my grandparents (long story involving lies about restraining orders and threats of kidnapping charges keeping them scared to reach out), I was a Junior in college and they were in the process of moving states and not in a position to help financially. Fast forward four years, and my grandmother is offering to help pay down the loans I took out to pay for school.
In the intervening time my grandfather has been diagnosed wit alzheimers and is becoming too much for her to deal with. She has talked to a lawyer, who ran the numbers on their assets and estimates that it will cost my grandparents $6,000 a month to keep him in a nursing home. Because of the financial scrutiny, my grandmother, who used to be content to let my grandfather run the books, is scared that any money she gives me is going to count against her, so she wants to take it out in small increments ($20 here, $40 there) so she won't need to justify it to a lawyer, and then deposit it in my account when it's accumulated to a few hundred dollars, which I would then use to pay down the loan. Is this wise? Does it really make a difference if she does this rather than write me a check when they have the spare money?
Also, is this wise for her to be doing at all? I worry that if they really will be paying so much for a nursing home for him, she should be saving everything she can. I've told her this, and she always says she wants to because she should have been helping my sister and I from the start. I'm not sure what their total assets are, but I know they are only in their mid 70s and she, at least, needs what they have to last many more years. | Grandmother wants to help pay down student loans, by making gradual atm withdrawals so no one can tell where the money is going. Is this advisable or even necessary? |
t3_4nfcye | relationships | How do I [23F] deal with my childish co-worker [24F]? | This may seem small, but it annoys me endlessly.
I have a co-worker who is very loud-spoken and boisterous. We work a retail job, nothing too serious. She has a loud laugh and she cannot speak at an appropriate noise level. Sure, she isn't my cup of tea, but I think our relationship is polite.
Well, *almost* polite.
Every time I see her, without fail, she mirrors what I say in a mocking tone. Every time. If I say, "Hello" and it doesn't come out properly, like in a hushed voice, she whispers, "Hello" snidely in return, trying to match the low pitch of my voice. If I say something, really *anything* in any type of tone (soft, normal pitch, a bit louder than intended, you know name it), she fucking parrots it in a mocking tone. I have found myself inadvertently monitoring how I speak when she is with me.
I know it's petty, but it's starting to get to my mental sanity.
The thing is: I know she can be a bit of mean girl. It's her thing. She's has bullying tendencies with our fellow co-workers (unless they are in her clique), and she enjoys belting others. Okay. But for as immature as this is, I know she's just an idiot. She likes attention and nothing is particularly malicious in nature.
But I don't know how to get her to stop? I've told her it was disrespectful. She said, "Aw, is someone on their period?" I've said I'm a bit sensitive about it. "Aw, you should've told me?" I've demanded to know why she does it. She said, "It's just how I am!"
So, lovely people, any other suggestions? I actually want to die whenever she pulls that mocking voice out. It's so unbelievably annoying. It's like working with a toddler. | Co-worker mocks everything I say, and I can't get her to stop. Does anybody have the communication skills to lend a few tips? |
t3_54mpc5 | relationships | Me 20F with my 21M BF of 2 months | My current bf who I will call T, and I have been dating for a few months but we've been friends for a few years. He was a person I used to vent to about my ex bf and really understands all that I've been through. I've had trust issues because my last two SOs have cheated on me, and even though I really believe that T is different and definitely trust worthy, I wonder what "loving someone" really is?
In my previous relationship I truly loved these people until they betrayed me by cheating on me. I am very trusting of T and I care deeply for him and I think that I love him, but how do you know what love is?? I feel so lost after my previous encounters that I don't know what love is supposed to be anymore.
My question is.. how do you know if you really love someone? of course i will wait to tell him until i am completely sure, but how do you know if its love after being hurt so many times?? | How do you know if you love someone? I have been betrayed by people I "loved" a few times so i wonder what love even is supposed to be? |
t3_3iajgt | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of just over a year...Where do I go from here? | I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. I have known him for a few years and was always very attracted to him. However, as of late I do not feel any attraction at all. Aside from the physical reasons why I am no longer attracted to him, he does not seem to bring anything to the table. Don't get me wrong; he is very sweet and caring. He makes me laugh and he treats me well. But we have nothing of substance to discuss. Ever. He doesn't enjoy reading. Discussions about politics or current affairs never seem to happen and when I try, he gets defensive and does not have anything intelligent to say. I don't mean for this to come off as pretentious. I don't feel that I am extremely intelligent by any means, but I do need to have discussions of books, politics, art, social issues at least once in a while and know that my partner can carry these types of conversations. On top of all this, he doesn't have any passions or hobbies. He is almost 30 but can't tell me what interests he has outside of watching sports.
Am I at a loss because our relationship is getting serious. There is talk all the time of moving in together, getting marries and having kids. But right now I feel like I am in a rut. I don't feel anything any more.
I need advise on where to go from here. I want to express all these concerns to him but I have no idea how. How am I suppose to say all this without coming off like a total bitch or like I think I am better than him? Any advise for how to start that conversation is appreciated. | boyfriend has no passion, hobbies or conversations with substance. Need help on how to bring this up to him as I have lost my attraction to him |
t3_4l4s9f | relationships | I [16F] am too scared to admit my feelings to anyone | I feel like I don't have anyone to open up to at the moment about my emotions. My half-brother is moving to Ireland very soon and I won't be able to see him again for, at the minimum, two years.
I'm only 16 and already I rely on alcohol to express my feelings because I cannot tell anybody anything without the fear of being scrutinized by my peers. I got so drunk I accidentally told my friends about my Dad's domestic violence issues, started crying before experiencing black out. I woke up and I regret telling them because Dad hasn't hit any of us children in at least 2 years.
The reason why I'm scared is because of experiences I've had (minor incidents) in the past about opening up to people and then being hurt by their responses. Like telling my friends about a family member getting diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I accidentally pronounced 'mastectomy' wrong and they started laughing, despite the gravity of the situation.
I can't open up to my family. Parents, because I dislike Dad and Mum tells everyone everything. Siblings. I have 9 of them. 3 don't talk to me because I was born, two have moved far away (who I wouldn't tell anyway) one is a child and the other is a narcissist who I am, funnily enough, one of the closest to, who I also know for sure would not take my feelings seriously because she always says "stop being such a drama queen" and "so pathetic" ect in light of emotional situations. I feel just about ready to combust. To whom I don't know, but my cup is held by surface tension. I'm riding on my last straw.
I'm going to miss my brother when he goes. He was the only one of Dad and (other womens) children who actually made an effort with us. I'm really going to fucking miss him randomly show up at our house for dinners or something. FML. | Half brother moving to Ireland, no one will take feelings seriously, uses alcohol to express feelings, other issues ect. |
t3_1woiti | relationships | Me [M18] and my friend[M16] of seven years met a girl[F17] a month ago and we both like her. | Me[M18] and my friend[M16] met two girls a month ago who are both first cousins. Lets call them Jill[F17] and Rachel[F15]. I started to develop a crush on Jill about half a month into it our friendship and Rachel had a crush on my friend but he didnt feel the same way back.
Rachel realized this and only wanted to be friends now. My friend decided the only way to make sure she didnt like him was to stop talking to her and act like a jerk towards her. Rachel asked Jill for advice on how to have my friend talk to her again and be friends. She responded with "I don't know...". This plays into part of it.
Jill started to act like she liked me back. She would get flirty with me. But then out of the blue she stopped texting me as much which weirded me out.
Well my assumption was that she liked my friend. So I asked her if she did. She blew up on me and told me she would never backstab her cousin like that and how I could think that. She told me to never talk to her again. Well after a couple days of depression thinking that I really hurt her and a hundred apologies. We started talking again.
I told my friend after that incident that I liked her. He didnt respond with nothing but a simple "Okay." It turns out that he liked her but wouldn't and didnt tell me.
Well I asked Jill why she wasn't texting me as much as before. Her response was "I'm just a lazy texter I guess." So I went along with it. Well my friend was showing me a picture on his phone and I caught a glimpse of these huge well thought out texts that clearly show that he likes her and she likes him.
So a couple days ago he comes over to my house with a couple of my other friends and asks her out in front of me over text knowing I liked her. I told him that he really hurt me with what he did and he clearly didnt care what I had to say. | A girl I liked lead me on while trying to get with my friend. Lied to me multiple times causing me to fall into despression. My friend doesn't care how I liked her. |
t3_26almd | offmychest | I have been pirating stuff | Some background: I am a 17 year old guy heavily into gaming and often want games on the computer (slowly leaning in pc from console) and often i don't have enough money to get them at retail or on steam. I will then go to a .se website and look for what i want there. I always tell myself that I am just getting the full version as a demo until i can support the developer. I got some games and I managed to get 1 of them on gamersgate.co.uk so i deleted the pirated version. but I just can't get over the fact that I downloaded on of their games without supporting them the first time. Also I need to find an effective way to reduce gaming time because it is severely affecting my grades. | Pirated games, then bought them, can't get over the fact I pirated them. need effective way to reduce gaming time |
t3_2zepkm | tifu | TIFU:By wake and bake before a presentation | TIFU: Okay let's get this started, So I woke up this morning with the rare wake and bake I'm like meh we ain't doing shit today in class anyways what's the worst can happen, without realizing I totally forgot I had an presentation about I had an presentation about Windows the next day(I go to school for CNT), so I walked into class with my blazed self my teacher(a little background he used to be an detective for the local police department) announces who want to go first presenting, the class was dead silent so after waiting an min or so for a response so he says pick an number between 1-24 so a few classmates picked a number and it was my turn so thinking in my head "I got this pshh" I picked number 11... with my shitty luck he said "you sir got the honor of going first"
and that's when my heart dropped to the floor I was panicking inside my head "Oh shit man I'm too high for this shit he and my classmates going to know that I'm high as a kite" I'm an SHY AND AWKWARD guy when it comes to pubic speaking and in general so it didn't help at all So I started with my presentation with a rough start my voice was shaky and I was stuttering a lot, so about a quarter in my presentation he started asking question's about my slide for example I had something about biometrics and if i didn't know the question to it he ROASTED the shit out of me.
And then the worst my full screen power-point won't stop tabbing out out of full screen in my head I'm screaming in my head "Out of the fucking day's my laptop is mocking the shit out of me right now un-fucking real" so every 20 sec it keeps going out of full screen, I feel so defeated I just wanted to roll up into a ball in the corner so after the roasting is finally over my teacher says oh you did alright just be more prepared next time. "In my head I'm like really dude really SMH"
But I did feel a lot better once he roasted my other classmates so I wasn't the only one in the same boat :) | I waked and baked before class and forgetting I had an presentation in front of the whole class and my teacher roasted the shit out me on top of that my laptop mocked me by keeping exiting out of full screen during my presentation. |
t3_1d0mc7 | dating_advice | Am I(20) not getting any of her(21) signals? | Hey guys. I(20) have been friends with this one girl(21) for almost 2 years. I think initially when we became friends, there was attraction and I think thats how we gravitated towards each other but we just remained friends since then. She's great, and we've become better friends this past semester.
We've studied together and gone places to eat, just the two of us. Over this time, I've started to really like this girl. I value our friendship and I felt like I wasn't getting any signals that she wanted more so I started backing off until my feelings for her went away, but I knew it would take awhile since I like her a lot. So in the past month, I stopped texting her so I can get over her, and we only talked a couple times. I feel like she's very reserved in showing any interest.
So yesterday, she texts me that she wants to get something to eat and I say sure. We went to this place that wasnt fancy or anything, but she looked beautiful, and I could tell she dressed up a bit. I was trying to see if she was giving any signals, but other than playing with her hair some, I couldnt tell. After we ate, my feelings for her came back and I can't stop thinking of her.
My question: are any of you ladies kind of reserved in showing any signals if you're already friends with the guy? Also, would you ask a guy friend to eat, just the two of you, out of the blue if you felt nothing for him? Sorry i know this sounds stupid. I'm thinking about going ahead and finally asking her out on a date but I'm scared because I don't want to ruin the friendship, and I wanted your opinions. | good friends with girl, started to like her a lot, not sure if she likes me back, need help figuring her out |
t3_27uxlx | relationships | I (26F) cheated on my BF (26M) a awhile ago. Still feel extremely guilty about it. | My bf, Brian, and I have been together for 10 months now, it's pretty serious. We plan on moving in together next year, have talked about marriage, etc. I love him very much and I am absolutely sure I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
3 months into our relationship I cheated on him. It was a onetime thing. I went out for drinks with my roommate and her friends and I ended up sleeping with one of the guys (friend of my roommate) that was out with us, let's call him Mike. I will probably never see Mike again, he is in the military, currently overseas and isn't in town very much, I met him that night we went out and that was it. Not even my roommate realized what happened between Mike and I, we all got incredibly drunk (which I know is not an acceptable excuse). Everyone that was out that night ended up sleeping over at our apartment, and I made sure Mike made his way to the couch before anyone woke up.
I decided at the time it was better if I didn't tell my bf about it, I felt disgusted with myself and have sworn never to put myself in that kind of situation again. I think about it every day, how stupid I was to do such an awful thing. The guilt and regret I feel can be very overwhelming to the point where I sometimes start crying thinking about what I did. I can get myself under control pretty quickly but lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I am so ashamed of what I did, I haven't told anyone about it. Not a single person other than Mike knows about this.
Brian is the most loving, caring person I've ever been with. I hate myself for betraying him. I know that if I tell him what happened it will break his heart and ruin what we have together. I not only cheated on him but I lied and kept it from him all this time. I'm scared he will never forgive me for it and I will lose him if I tell him about it. | Cheated on my bf a few months ago, decided not to tell him. The guilt is eating away at me. Now I don't know if I should tell him about it or not. |
t3_30r67w | relationship_advice | desperately need advice/an opinion from someone I dont know, as the situation is private/secret. | I found out my boyfriend was on a swingers website, saw it on his phone and freaked out, asked what it was and he said he didnt know, I saw he had a username so he obviously did know what it was. Googled it, found out exactly what it was and demanded to look at his phone. He said no because people started sending him weird stuff and he didnt like it. He took his phone to the toilet and I started texting him telling him to come out and explain himself. After a while of me looking at the website to see what it was I realised it was a site to meet swingers/single people, chat, send pictures, webcams..
Once he came back he let me look and explained that he only uses the website to look at nudes. There were only 2 messages from 2 men. I questioned why he didnt show me before and just explain that it was 2 men messaging him. He said he thinks hes addicted to porn (his preference is realistic porn, he thought the nudes would be realistic) and tried to stop watching it so signed up for this, realised how weird it was after getting 2 messages and didnt use it.
He uploaded a profile picture, filled in all the details etc. So I'm thinking if he only wanted to use it for nudes why did he fill it in so accurately, why would he advertise himself like this? I signed up for the website with no profile picture and in 1 day i got 41 messages. (he had an account for 2 weeks)
Why did he only let me see his phone after going to the toilet and why did he only have 2 messages? From men, when his preferences were women.
Im trying to be understanding about him thinking he has a porn addiction but I think hes hiding something. | found out my boyfriend had an account on a swingers website, said he had a porn addiction (explains embarrassment/panic) but only showed me the suspiciously clean inbox/account once he locked himself in the toilet |
t3_3nzpkh | relationships | Are they trying to start drama? | Not a first time poster but I frequent r/relationships daily and I'm curious what you guys might think of this situation
Me - 19F
Girl #1 - 22F
Girl #2 - 19F
So I'm in college currently in a female dominated industry, so as you can guess there's a lot of drama and gossiping.
Every Thursday, there's a club meeting for representatives, teachers and really anyone who wants to join in that is part of the program. I like to join, even though I'm not a representative because they release dates on fundraisers, parties etc. I have anxiety and I love to plan ahead. This is the main reason I attend these meetings. I don't actively participate in anything else because that is the representatives job. I don't announce to anyone else about anything because that's also their job.
Recently the two girls in my "friend group" who are reps, nailed me to a wall saying that it's not a requirement for me to go, etc. Basically they told me that I wasn't welcome at the rep meeting. Which was funny to me because 80% of the people that attend are not reps.
I didn't apologize for anything because I didn't do anything wrong. I held my point saying that I know it's not a requirement but I like to go anyway. I feel that they feel I'm encroaching on their territory, or that I'm threatening their title as a rep. I know that sounds incredibly egotistical but I really can't think of another reason they would bring this up?
I have zero interest in being a rep, it's not a job. If I wanted to be one I would of volunteered when they asked. You do not need any requirements to be a rep. It's time consuming and something I can't commit too, besides the one half hour meeting a week.
Are these girls just trying to start drama or what? I'm just really confused. At this point I'm not attending anymore meetings to let them cool off a little. However they are still part of my "friend group" and we still need to be civil and tolerate each other. How do I deal with this? | girls in college starting drama for no reason, was is justified? Am I missing something? Let me know if you have any questions! |
t3_2afs3h | loseit | Does this happen to anyone else? | O.k., I weigh myself once a week. If/when I weighed more often, the daily fluctuations made me crazy. So, I weigh once a week with similar circumstances (time of day, clothing etc.) I am aiming for a 1-1.5lb a week loss, so when the scale shows I have lost about a pound, I am satisfied. But, I am also worried. I mean, what if the weight it is showing I lost is just because I was a bit dehydrated or something? What if the next week, I'm the same or higher? I always wonder about that, and wonder if I'm really seeing meaningful weight loss or just seeing the everyday fluctuation of weight. I am always happy/relieved when the next week I have lost another about a pound. Then I figure at least my weight from the week before was probably right. And, over time those pounds have added up. (I was very excited to change my flair to 15, and quite relieved that when I back-slid, I only gained 2lbs, so I didn't need to change my flair). | for those losing a small (1-1.5lb a week) amount of weight at a time, do you ever wonder if the loss on the scale is real loss, or just fluctuation? |
t3_2qtop8 | relationships | Me [18M] with my 17 [F] dating for about 3 months, end everything last night. Need your guys opinion. | Basically my girlfriend wanted to start a break this past saturday. Later that night at a small party I wasn't at she makes out with a different guy who she's always has had a little thing with. I thought they always had been friends, she regrets it now completely. She then comes to tell me all this last night, and I give in and forgive her if some rules are made involving her actions. After we talk about that she tells me that the break was too short and she needs more time to think about our relationship. This sets me off and we end up just breaking up for good.
I was just wondering what is your guys opinion on my situation, and how do you guys get over an ugly breakup? | girlfriend wanted break, cheats on me first night, apologizes too me, still wants to continue break. We break things off. Need your guys opinion. |
t3_38vpr2 | relationship_advice | TI[17/m]FU by trying to kiss (16/f) girl of questionable relation. | As the title says. Thursday I fucked up and today I fucked up again, by doing it again. This girl, M, and I have been very close for 6 months talking hours every day and getting quite involved. What you would expect from a normal couple, basically. The thing is she can't decide that she wants us to be together and that she wants me, so FINALLY getting the chance alone with her for the only real time in 6 months I decide to go for it. Kissing her. (there had been quite a bit of physical but never a chance for it). She pretty much refuses and being the nice guy I am I don't. We texted about it afterwards and what I got from her was all mixed emotions. (relief i hadn't and regret that i actually left and didn't). So going off of this I try it again today. twice. because all that was said led to she really did want it, but apparently not. Small fight ensues, blah blah.. Any advice would be appreciated and I can answer any questions you may have. Thank you. Wondering how bad I may have fucked up. | Tried to kiss girl once (didn't), got mixed signals afterwards so went for it again (not what she wanted). |
t3_3zpihq | relationships | I [18 M] have texting problems with a girl. [16 F] | So I recently asked out a girl on a date. Communication was going well, I made a few jokes, she talked about herself etc. Then later next day she texted me and said that she had fun and would like to go out again. I suggested we should go ice skating. She reacted well and everything was nice.
However, after talking about our next date I just ran out of words to say to her. I just didn't know what or how to text her. I asked a few casual questions about her favorite music, films, hobbies etc. But at some point we both just stopped texting.
Fast forward a few days, we went ice skating. I thought I would run out of words there too, but I didn't. We both talked the whole time and had fun. Later, we had some tea and talked a little more.
And now again I simply do not know what to text her. I don't want her to lose interest in me, because I like her. | I don't know how to text a girl, though irl communication is not a problem. How do I keep her interested? |
t3_4l7ggt | relationships | I'm struggling with my breakup [22F] with my ex [23 M] of 2 years and wanting to be friends. | My ex broke up with me about a week ago, and though it was shocking and hurt like hell at the time, I realize that it was pretty mutual since we both knew this was coming for a while. I thought we were in love, but I'm pretty sure the love ended a while ago, though I do know we both still care for each other a lot and enjoy each others company.
Anyway, we want to be friends because we have a lot of mutual friends/hobbies and also we just really enjoy each other as people, despite the fact that we're not meant to be in a romantic relationship (too many fights, clinginess, co-dependency, all that good stuff).
I thought I was doing okay with the friend thing (aside from crying at random points in the day, like at finding one of his socks on my floor), but now I'm not sure if I'm actually okay with being close friends with him or if this is just a cop out so that I don't feel so sad and lonely. Like some of him is better than none right? I don't have to lose all of him right away?
Staying friends with him feels good, talking to him feels good, we just mesh really well as friends without the pressure of a forced relationship. But I really don't want to jeopardize my (or his) healing process. I want to get over him so that I can learn and someday find someone who is a better fit, and I honestly cannot tell if I'm over him, or if my brain is pretending I am just so that I can keep him in my life.
Some additional details: We've never been really sexually passionate, and recently it's really just seemed like we're in the friendzone, even before the breakup. We were definitely in actual love at some point though (not for a while imo). I don't know if I miss him, or just having a relationship and person to do literally everything with, considering we unhealthily spent every waking minute together.
Any advice for staying friends and/or healing? I told him I was going to take some time (no-contact) to think about things. | Not sure if wanting to stay friends with ex is about actually wanting to be friends, or about not being over him. Advice? |
t3_2hkf0a | relationship_advice | Bf 21/M smokes cigarettes but we're moving Out together. I'm 22/F | Hear me out:
We've been dating for almost 4 1/2 years and he didn't smoke when I met him. He started around the 3 1/2 year mark and its bothered me ever sense.
We used to talk about how gross smoking was. Now I have to smell it on him. I've tried supporting him, telling him how bad it is for your health, threatening him, ignoring how upset it makes me. But i always end up just telling him it hurts me. And he says 'i know. You always tell me. Stop controlling me.' He says he wants to quit and has cut down significantly but I smell it on him everyday. I don't always bring it up but it always hurts my feelings
I grew up with two smokers and I always hated that my parents did it and wasn't afraid to show them my disdain.
I bought a home and we are planning on moving into it in about eleven days but I have found out recently that he is smoking a lot more then I realized. I found a pack of his in his clothes pocket! I know it sounds stupid but i felt better thinking he just bummed them off of his friends. Now I know that he buys his own packs and has been smoking daily.
Since finding this out I'm not sure what to do. I don't want him to move in if he smokes. He says he isn't gonna quit by then and I need to deal with this on my own and if someone else's smoking bothers me that much then I have issues of my own.
He tells me I'm controlling his life and he'd rather not move in if I'm gonna have set rules for him. I don't want to live with a smoker. To have to smell it on him everyday.
I wish to god that I could just not care so much. That I could trust that he really will quit and just be there to support him. But I can't.
I really love this guy so I'm not trying to break up. We get along so well besides this.
What should I do? | boyfriend smokes. I hate it. We're moving out but I don't wanna take that step till I know he is done smoking becaus I don't wanna smell it everyday. |
t3_4rsjkk | relationships | I [25 M] have been flip flopping about a trip to Canada with my SO [22 F] for the past few months. | Preface, we've been dating for almost two years now.
Back in March my SO and I started talking about how cool a trip to Canada, Vancouver to be exact, would be in late August. I realized a week up there would be a little pricey but if i saved up it could be worth it. Throughout these past few months I've lightly expressed my concerns about maybe not going due to financial reasons (it's been a rough few months). Each time however, I've said "no, no, let's do it".
I don't normally talk about finances with her and each time I flip flopped I thought "it'll be fine, we'll just go and you spend the money, it'll be fine". Well, we were slated to purchase our flight tickets tomorrow and as I was crunching the numbers and looking at flights, room and board, expenses, all of it, I finally was honest with myself and realized this isn't something I can really afford with school tuition coming up, other finances etc.
She called just 10 min ago and I explained that maybe we could do an in State camping trip for the week, go to different sites etc...another flip flop. She was livid. I understand her frustration, I understand why she's mad. She asked for the evening and that she refused to speak of it tonight as she was upset. I know how I fucked up, I'm not asking if yall think she's crazy or anything. I'm just wondering how I can move forward from this. | Girlfriend is pissed at me cause I've been flip flopping back and forth over a trip to Canada. I just flip flopped on the eve of our plane ticket purchases and she's pissed. Wondering how to salvage this. |
t3_n0tlw | AskReddit | Is it abnormal to feel depressed after not having sex for say a month, and knowing your not going to for another month (fiance lives out of town) | So my fiance lives out of town, only a couple hours away. I'm finishing my last year of Uni, and we haven't had sex in a month, and I'm too bogged down to go up this weekend to see her with these damn papers i have to write (we'd even have the place to ourselves), and she's got an interview for a teaching job, which if she gets (i seriously hope she does), we'll be even more busy, and probably won't see each other until the 23rd.... and I REALLY DON'T MEAN TO BE OFFENSIVE but, according to my calculations, she's probably going to have her period at that time.... so I've been feeling pretty crappy lately, and trying not to let this show so she doesn't think something is up. Am I being inconsiderate or selfish in any way, or flat out ridiculous? I just feel like crap about the whole thing, because we've never gone so long without sex before... | feeling depressed about very poor prospects of no sex with fiance, and it's already been awhile, and this is the first time it's been this long |
t3_2haku8 | relationships | My [19F] crush [20M] and I commonly get mistaken for siblings, would it be too weird for us to date? | So, I (19F) like this guy (20M), but there's a problem... we look related. A lot. We're both gingers (red hair, pale skin, lots of freckles, whole 9 yards), and apparently all gingers look alike. I don't see the resemblance, honestly, but whenever we go anywhere people ask if we're just siblings or twins!
So, /r/relationships, how weird would it be for us to date? I'm fairly certain he likes me too, but we'd probably send off a weird incest-vibe whenever we held hands or did any kind of PDA. Normally I'm not much of one to care about what other people think, but people thinking I'm kissing my brother is a bit much.
Also, if we were to date, how would we answer the question "are you two twins?" | My crush and I are both gingers. If we were to date, how would we get past the "creepy incest-looking" factor? |
t3_15qzb7 | relationships | Hi! I (22F) want my BF (25) to buy me flowers but it seems like it will never happen. | Been together for about 8 months. From the start of our relationship I mentioned quite a few times that I've never received flowers from anyone except my dad and how much I'd really just love to get a bouquet once.
My birthday passed and I didn't get any. I told him point blank that I'd really love some flowers after that. I never received any. So I mentioned that I'd love some flowers for Christmas and he said ok. Christmas came. No flowers.
So here I am, a girl without flowers. My boyfriend isn't very romantic to begin with, and I feel like this small gesture would really brighten my week but I feel like the point is kind of lost if I have to beg him to buy me flowers. I told him this morning before he went to work that I'd like flowers after last night (we had sex and I didn't get off during it so I asked him to help me out afterwards and he refused.) I'm highly doubtful that he will return from work with flowers for me.
So I'm wondering, how can I get him to buy me flowers? They don't have to be any thing expensive like roses, I like daisies. Is it a lost cause? It seems so small and easy to do yet he basically refuses to do it, but gives me false hope that he is going to fulfill my request. I work hard to make sure to do everything he asks of me and more and it's not like I'm asking for a 5 star restaurant with a horse drawn carriage ride around town.
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I'm sleepy and I started a little early on the NYE celebrations! | Boyfriend won't buy me flowers even though he says he is going to. Never delivers. What can I do to get him to actually buy them for me? |
t3_1ho6np | AskReddit | What is your latest "Little victory" in life? | The other day, I was home alone. A pleasure I don't get often due to being in a wheelchair. So I decided to use this time to myself to watch some tv. I mean hey, I spent all morning helping my mom out with things, and taking care of our wide range of pets. (Goats, chickens, cats, dogs, rabbits) So I deserved it. I transferred from my chair to the sofa, and began watching the an awesome movie on a channel I had just recently realized I had received in our dish package. So about an hour or so in to the movie, I get a notification on the television saying "your DVR will shut down in 10 seconds due to inactivity." Oh no! It was just getting to the good part! Not having enough time to hop back in my wheelchair, I realize that the remote fell behind the sofa. I take my chances and leap over the back rest of the sofa. I toss the remote back over on to the sofa, and swiftly crawl to the other side and push the "Cancel" button. All before ten seconds was up. Frick yeah. So that's my little victory. | my tv was shutting down in ten seconds if I didn't select otherwise so paralyzed me makes a leap of faith off the back of the sofa. |
t3_27zicf | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 2 years, either he is cheating or I am paranoid (or both?). Need guidance! | I live with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. He works a lot. I work a lot. We don't hang out as much as we used to because of this and I try not to hold that against him. He keeps in pretty good contact, is always the first one to call, but I've developed this feeling that he is cheating. I can't shake it; it's practically all I think about.
Basically, he stayed at a friend's place one night after partying and the next morning, while he was showing me something on his phone, I noticed he had two calls around 3 or 4AM (I think they were missed calls) from some girl who he has never mentioned to me before. She isn't friends with the people he was partying with, so it made me suspicious that he was either with her that night or they have some sort of sexual relationship and she was calling him for a booty call.
My suspicion has built to the point where I have looked through his text messages. He deletes only hers. I've seen them here and there though, before he deletes them. They are somewhat flirty, but nothing extreme. He'll ask her for to go for a drink or they'll talk about her day. She texted him once, "Why aren't you with me right now?"
I guess I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to bring it up with him because I'm afraid he'll get mad. Even if he was cheating, I doubt he'd admit it. I'm also afraid that I'm just paranoid, that I'm the one wrecking this relationship. I need to do something though because I'd like to get to a point where a day goes by and I don't think about this. | My boyfriend seems to be carrying on some type of relationship with someone who he hasn't mentioned to me and deletes her texts. I am suspicious but not feeling empowered enough to act. Advice on how to proceed? |
t3_1rvfhr | relationships | How do I [24F] get my ex's [26M] dad [50ishM] to date my friend's mom [50ishF]? | Very strange situation...
I had a terrible break up with my ex boyfriend and we haven't talked in two years. We dated for years and years. I have a boyfriend who would be very upset if we talked again.
My best friend from college has two parents that are getting divorced. Her mother is a very successful Jewish engineer who is absolutely miserable trying to find men who are on her same financial level. She keeps dating losers and is ready to settle down.
Meanwhile, My ex boyfriend's dad is very successful Jewish engineer who is getting divorced. He's a really great guy very nice, his wife is a total bitch and this should have happened years ago.
You see where this is going. My ex boyfriend's dad would be perfect for my friend's mom. I know he could make her happy. My friend's mom is down to get coffee with him it's just a matter of getting him on board.
The problem is, I don't want any part of this. I despise my ex. I don't want him knowing I thought of this or trying to contact me. I'm meeting with my friend tomorrow to draft a text message that she will send him without mentioning me at all. My question is, do you see this backfiring on me in anyway? Is it a good idea or not? | My terrible ex boyfriend's dad is newly single and he would be great for my friend's mom but I don't want it being traced back to me at all. |
t3_3sotu8 | relationships | My girlfriend [F 22] and I [M 25] (together for 1 year) have started going into a more cuddly phase in the past few months. Will this ruin our relationship? | So I find this is a pattern that I encounter in all of my relationships I've had. We go from having fiery passionate sex to well... now instead of both of us commenting on how we want to fuck each other it has turned more into a "aw you're so cute" type of phase.
At first I was fine with it, but it's starting to feel that doing this has definitely turned down the passion. This happens in every relationship I'm in and we go from having sex everyday (which I know isn't always sustainable) to like... once.. maybe twice a week. Is this my fault in that I'm not doing anything to make my SO "yearn" for me or is this just the natural course that relationships take?
I ask this because it leaves me feeling a little less like a man since my woman isn't constantly after me like she once was. I know that's maybe not the best way to look at things but honestly I can't help it. This has happened in my last 3 relationships and I'm starting to wonder if it's me who is doing something wrong. This has led to several mismatched libido conversations and it's sort of killing me. I don't want this relationship to end because of it. | I'm finding that I'm too cuddly with my girlfriend and it seems to be leading to less sex. This is a pattern I've just noticed over time. Am I doing something wrong here? |
t3_2d9s2j | relationships | Me [29 M] started online dating, became too successful - now there are two girls 2x [27 F] who think that things might get serious | Hey guys,
I broke up with my ex girlfriend about 6 months ago and started online dating to find someone new - I'm from Europe by the way in case that might change anything.
As it goes in online dating, you find a couple of interesting girls and send them a message. Some of them answer, some don't. You meet up for a drink and if you have fun together things move on to the next level.
In that particular week, I met 4 girls. 2 were boring or just not my type, 2 were great. Thus, you meet again, and again, and end up in bed and ... now there are 2 great, educated and attractive girls who are totally girlfriend material but don't have a clue that there is the other one and that I would do such a thing.
Just to give you a perspective: I met each girl a couple of times but things got already close and intense. I think I totally fucked up since I don't want to hurt anyone which might be inevitable even at that early stage. Yet, realistically, it is at an early stage and I should clarify the situation, i.e. end seeing one of them as things will become closer and more difficult.
Now, I have absolutely no idea which one I should drop - and how to do it. Both are great and have their advantages. I would have to go for meaningless secondary criteria and might end up with the one I might not want to be with.
Seriously, I don't know what to do and things will get worse. | Did the usual online dating thing - ended up with two great girls. Have no idea how to drop one the least hurtful way and which one to keep. |
t3_1s57yc | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [24M] for 1 year, is he "just not that into me"? | Our relationship has been rocky from the beginning, it seems. He was unsure about dating me, but later changed his mind. He didn't want to put a "label" on it, then insisted on us being "boyfriend/girlfriend" later.
A few months ago I told him that I loved him, which didn't seem rushed to me since we have known each other for quite some time and dated casually even before becoming exclusive. He didn't return it, which hurt at first but he assured me he just needed a little time. He made it sound like a matter of weeks, not months. I also made it very, very clear that saying "I love you" was important to me in a relationship and that after a certain period of time without reciprocation, I would move on with my life.
He is very physically affectionate with me and seems interested in talking about the future (I never bring it up! he does), but always insists for me to not go out of my way to see him or do nice things for him. It's like he rejects my love, or it feels that way. I once said during after-sex cuddles that I didn't want him to leave me because I saw myself with him for a long time, and he said "well there's no point in speculating about the future, it could happen [him leaving me and dumping me]." Then a week later he's saying he'd love to get a dog with me and an apartment in the near-ish future.
I'm really confused. He obviously doesn't love me, but he claims that he feels strongly for me. This is still great, but it seems to come and go without warning. I am having trouble figuring out if he's just going through a rough spot in his 20s where he is stressing about his unsure career future, school, work, etc. or if it's just that he's not very into me. | Boyfriend's affection and commitment comes and goes; is it just because he doesn't see himself with me or is this a common problem with relationships in your 20s? |
t3_129prj | AskReddit | My cats are psychotic and ruining my life, but they complete me. What do I do? | I have three cats. My oldest is quiet but will play with the others from time to time. She also knocks everything down she goes near and she likes being in high places. My middle cat, is super active, super smart, and very dog-like. He will literally play fetch and bring the toy to you to throw it for him, randomly. This cat and my boyfriend have an amazing relationship and the cat will almost laugh at me when Im calling him, but as soon as my boyfriend says his name, he instantly runs to him and meows. Then, we have a feral kitten we adopted from our backyard a year ago when we were trying to find him and his siblings homes and could only catch one. He is lazy but is very obviously the 'child' of my middle cat and both cats are very protective over him.
My middle cat wakes up at 5:30am and expects everyone else in the house to wake up with him. No fail. He gets up the exact same time, on his own, every morning. His activities include, running around the house at full speed, bouncing off everything in his path and trying to instigate the other cats. And if hes playing with the kitten, its like a battleground of aww. My boyfriend and I live in a 600sq ft house (its perfect for us) so 'running around my house' is like running around a room for some homes. We have a basement (that is level with the road) and when we are under the house and they think we are gone, it sounds like 5 300lb men running around stomping their feet. So glad we dont have downstairs neighbors.
But we love them. They are more than pets to us. They keep us sane.....well, until now. We might be able to give the kitten to a friend, but the three of them are very close. What can we do? Does Adderall for cats exist? | My cats are overly active and won't let me sleep/live comfortably. But getting rid of them is not an option. |
t3_21qceo | relationships | How do I,[18/F] tell my new boyfriend [23 M] that I was molested? | So when I was younger, I was molested. No one knows, and I've never spoken to anyone about it because it doesn't affect in any aspect of my life except my "sexual" one. (Which has never been a problem until now since I'm still a "virgin", technically.)
I've entered into a ldr relationship with this really sweet guy, and I know that when we get to see each other he'll want to have sex, because it's been about 4 months and it seems like time.
The problem is, because of what happened, I obviously have a lot of issues. I have really shitty body image and I always think of sex as dirty and wrong and something taboo and secret. If I ever have any sexual thoughts I feel the need to punish myself or take a shower or something.
I know I need to seek professional help, that's not why I'm here. How do I tell this to my bf so he knows to maybe slow it down, or do things differently than with a non-fucked up girl? Our main form of communication is texting so I don't really think that would be an appropriate topic to be sent over text message. | Molested, issues about sex. How to tell this to my ldr boyfriend before we engage in sex and end up getting hurt? |
t3_52ttvf | college | I feel like I'm in the hunger games here | I got into a very competitive program for college that basically allows us to complete college undergrad in two years. Its very well known that my college drops about half of the accepted students and because of this basically everyone is horrible. It's been three months into school and I've tried to make small talk and make some friends. My logic is that if we don't understand anything, we can help each other and have that support group. I'm not saying I'm the most outgoing smartest person here, it's very obvious that they're intelligent since they got accepted but everyone here is just rude and mean. For an example, my Chem recitation class where it's group work dependent, I don't understand a concept and I asked my team mates for help. They literally straight up said no. Even though it's a team grade instead of individual. I feel like an outcast here. Some people literally said straight up in my face "the less people here the better". My only "friend" aka the person that I have all my classes with blowed up at me because I didn't reply to her text under five seconds. The people I become friendly with only use me for hw,textbooks etc. but when I ask help in return they suddenly ignore me. Yes it's a bit of a rant but i feel like I don't belong and hate my college experience. Any advice? | competitive program, everyone here is an asshole, they come to me for help but can't return the favor. I hate my college experience. What should I do? |
t3_3d6tzm | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend's best friend [21M] went from acting like he hated me to sending me borderline inappropriate messages... | Hi r/relationships. I've been dating my boyfriend (22M, I'll call him Dean) for about a year and a half. Dean and I get along great and I love him very much, however, I've always been at odds with his roommate/best friend, Kyle.
Kyle usually acts really immature and rude towards me saying things like "ew" when I come over to their house and telling me I look ugly. Immature stuff. He also gets very possessive of Dean, my boyfriend, and gets upset when Dean and I spend time together. Kyle has complained about me "stealing Dean" from him.
Recently, Dean has encouraged me to try to get along with Kyle. With that in mind I've tried not to react the way I know Kyle wants me to when he says the things he says. I try to laugh it off or even play along. I think it's working and Kyle is being friendlier, however, he's started to text me a lot. Starting at the beginning of summer, when I left for an internship. Usually just normal conversations but he has started to text me more in the past few weeks. He's begun saying things like that he thinks I'm cute and he likes the way I do my hair, etc. He even gets a bit clingy when I don't respond quickly enough. I've told Dean a few of these things (I never accused Kyle of flirting with me, just told Dean some of the things Kyle said) and Dean is so thrilled that Kyle and I are getting along that he fails to see any issue.
It's worth noting that I've not seen either of these guys in person since summer began (when the texting also started) as I have an internship seven hours away from school.
So here is my question: do you think Kyle is trying to flirt with me? If so, what should I do? My boyfriend doesn't seem concerned at all, historically he is extremely trusting. | boyfriend's best friend used to hate me and is now texting me slightly flirty(?) things. Boyfriend is happy that we are "getting along" and doesn't seem to think the texts are weird. What should I do? |
t3_1p3av7 | jobs | Is it worth it to apply to a job with a lower listed salary/hourly range than you are hoping for? | Hi! I've been looking around for a full time job, as my company does not seem to have room for me to grow right now (I'm part time). I'm being pretty picky at this point. I've seen several postings for positions that seem to be a perfect fit for me, but are offering a much lower salary than I need to make ends meet. I usually pass them by, but....
One posting just came up today with an organization I really want to work with (the humane society), and the salary range says "$12.00+/hr". I'm looking for at least $14+/hour (ideally 16+), which is about what I make right now between my part time jobs. Is it worth it to even apply if I want $2/hr more? It says "+" in the posting, but is it better to assume that they are only going to offer the number listed? I don't want to waste anyone's time if I ended up interviewing, and I can't really bring it up at the initial interview, can I? | I really love this job being offered, but taking it at the posted hourly rate would mean losing income, and I am breaking even as is. Is it even worth applying? |
t3_1wh6zx | relationships | Do I need to change? | I am a 19 year old male. When I get heart broken, I sometimes think that im the one that has a problem. Sometimes i think i have a big perception of women, loyalty wise. I consider myself a loyal person therefore expecting the same from them but so far all ones ive liked and had something with ended up being unloyal.
My last relationship with ex, I would presume she would be talking to another guy. I ended up being right even though I wish I wouldn't have.
So that leads me to question myself.... am I the one with the problem? Am I the one that is expecting too much from the women I fall for? Do I need to reevaluate the things I look for in a woman? Do I need to change/lower my standards? | Ive been in 2 unfaithful relationships so far and sometimes I question myself if im asking for too much? Do I have standards that are too high when it comes to women? Do I need to change my perception towards them? |
t3_4irj3v | relationships | I [22F] cannot leave my bf [22M] because he gets too upset, how can I leave him? | ********solved*********
I absolutely love my boyfriend but he is too possessive, too jealous, too sensitive, we don't see eye to eye on practically everything.
I simply feel we are not good for eachother. We constantly argue over dumb things and my bf never changes.
Recently he has been getting scary anxiety attacks from it.
I told him that I love him but we cannot be togrther, it's an unhealthy relationship, it's affecting his health, I feel we cant get over our issues.
I did it nicely to let him know he's great, just not great for me and he freaked out.
Being that he has been getting painful anxiety attacks I didn't want to get him altered but he essentially said don't leave me, I need you,if you leave I'm going to be depressed forever, you just use me, you just hurt me, I'm never going to love again, I'm trash.
I felt horrible! I stayed but let him know I'm unhappy and worried about him.
I really don't know how to break up with him, I don't think he could handle it.
We have been together a year and don't live together incase anyone needs that info.
Help please :( | I tried leaving bf because I am unhappy and the stress is affecting his health, he freaked out and I don't know how to leave. |
t3_1llznk | relationships | Me[21M] with my co-worker[21M] of 6 months, they are trying to be my friend, but I just can't get myself to like them, and it makes me feel like an asshole. | I have worked with this person in a restaurant for about 6 months while I go to school.
Me and a few other people at work are close friends and hang out after work and such.
Me and my friends have gone out for drinks with this person occasionally with the other people he knows at work (big restaurant).
Lately this person has been trying to be my friend more and more and has gotten to know my other friends better.
I don't care if they know my other friends and such, but I just can't get myself to like this person myself.
I don't know what it is, he is a nice person, but I just can't get myself to like them. Maybe its me feeling like we have not much in common, or just the fact that I feel like I wouldn't enjoy their company.
This makes me feel like an asshole, and I hate just brushing someone off like that.
I am an introvert and don't have many friends, but I feel like an ass and such a stuck up person if I have a hard time making friends as it is to just brush someone off so fast.
I get worried that if my other friends find out that I don't really like this person without reason they'll think I'm a jerk and judge me for it.
I know this sounds so childish but its happening to me and I want to understand it better.
My girlfriend said to just see what happens naturally and maybe the other person will realize your not a match. It just takes so much effort for me to get to know someone, that if I don't feel a connection right away its easier for me to just move on. | Coworker trying to be my friend, I just don't feel like I like them all that much, makes me feel bad that I don't like them, scared it makes me an asshole. |
t3_3hkekw | relationships | My [21/F] obsessed ex-coworker [24/M] messages my current fling [30/M] claiming to be my current boyfriend. Has he scared him off for good or is this fixable? | Hi! I recently met this cute guy about a week ago and after running into each other a few more times we decided to grab lunch and later hang out. Two days this week we hung out and hooked up and he's really great. I haven't felt this way almost ever and I really wanted things to work between us despite the age difference.
Now here's where things get super awkward. After hooking up I went to dinner with a few friends and acquaintances, one of which is my ex coworker. We are friendly and I think he is very sweet and we get along, but I know he does have some underlying issues. He is very possessive of me and maybe a little stalkerish? Recently found out that he saw me talking to another guy and messaged him.
I also found out (he showed me) that he messaged this cute guy tonight saying "fuck you. I've been dating littlecanoo for a year now. Why would you even fuck a 21 year old?" And he responded saying "I didn't know. I apologize".
I'm absolutely mortified and I have ZERO clue how to explain this to him or if too much damage has been done already? I feel like my chances are ruined since he probably things I'm a lying cheater and my friends/lovers are insane and drama-ridden. Especially since he's older and definitely more mature than myself.
Is there any way to salvage the situation? He's gone on business for another week and I don't know how to even approach the subject. Help :( I've been crying all night. | Obsessex ex coworker messages new fling claiming that he is a boyfriend of a year. Not sure how to proceed explaining this one. |
t3_nka58 | AskReddit | Reddit, I have severe social anxiety, and my husband just won't let me be reclusive. Please help me:( | Long time Redditor, but this is a throwaway because if I say something negative, I don't want him to see it.
Anyway--My husband and I have been married for about a year, but have been together for four. Before we began dating, I was not really "outgoing," per se, but I had quite a few girlfriends and went to quite a few parties. When I met my now-husband, we'll call him John, I began to put all that behind me AND I WAS HAPPY WITH THAT. He was into the same things but we started spending so much time together that everything else seemed so meaningless and immature. We stayed home together every weekend and ate dinner by ourselves every night, even though we were on a college campus most of the time. I see this might sound unhealthy, and it probably was -- but it's just what happened. Anyway, for about 2 years now I have pretty much refused to have any sort of social life. I have one close-ish male friend and one close-ish female friend, but that's it, and we never go out or hang out at home together. I work full time and then some, so I am just flat-out tired and don't have the energy to make myself look nice and then go out. Furthermore, what little time I have, I want to spend it with John.
And John always talks big about how he used to have severe social anxiety, so one would think that he'd understand the panic I have come to associate with going out or seeing new people, or even having old friends over. But he is beginning to hold it against me. I tell him that he's welcome to have friends over, as long as he just tells me in advance so that I can "prepare" myself. But even this is too much to ask for and he gets angry when he plans something and I tell him I don't want to do it, even though I remind him time and time again to just give me some NOTICE. And he won't. And he is holding it against me telling me I'm keeping him from his friends. When I'm not:( He's free to do whatever he wants, I just wish he would respect me and my anxiety. | I don't like people too much, and my husband doesn't understand that I get (stressed out)^9545341 when I have to be in social situations. |
t3_28vb7z | tifu | TIFU by breaking both of my ankles at the same time. | **Backround**: I am in competitive gymnastics, and compete in the optional level. I put a lot of training into gymnastics (20 hours a week), and it takes lots of preparation to get new skills and tricks competition ready.
**The Story**: I went to my first gymnastics meet of the season. My adrenaline was pumping and I was ready to try my new routines in competition for the first time. My team and I warm up, stretch out, and the National Anthem is sung. We begin warming up on our first event, the vault. In practice the last week I had just landed a Pike Tsukahara on the vault for the first time. (Google it, on mobile and can't link). I was going to try it in the meet. I was warming up, feeling confident. I decided that I needed to do the "Tsuk" for my final warm up. I run down the runway, jump off the springboard, push off the vault table, and try to grab my legs to pike my vault. I miss. I flail in mid-air in a layout like position. I under rotate, but both my feet land flat on the ground. Unfortunately, so did my face, putting extreme stress on my ankles. I hear two large cracks from by my feet. After this I get up, telling myself and my coach that I'll be okay to compete. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I managed to walk back to my chair. That would be the last time I walked in 3 months. When I tried to get up again, my body was like, "Nope!" Some friends hauled me to my car, and I got driven to a hospital where I learned that I had fractured the talus in both of my ankles, and would need for months to fully recover, would miss the entire season, and would need to use two boots and crutches for the majority of the time. When I joke about it with my friends I say, "At least I landed evenly." | I managed to break both my ankles on the last warmup turn on the first event of the first meet of the season. |
t3_2rsni6 | relationships | We (Me [21/F] Him [24/M]) texted all day for two weeks straight and suddenly he vanishes | I'll try to keep this short. I'm not sure if I go after the wrong type of guys or I'm just really VERY unlucky!
I met this guy online (one of those see who's near you and talk to them apps, but not a dating app) and we instantly connected. We're both very smart, very motivated, and a bit weird. So we bonded right away.
We texted every day for about two weeks (minus when we were at work) and had a 3 hour phone call once.
He started flirting with me like crazy and we started making plans for a visit (about 5 hours away from each other.)
Then suddenly NOTHING. The last text he sent me was Tuesday night, a very flirty text about how much he liked me. I responded with a flirty text back but told him I was hanging out with a friend and would text him later. I did... and I never heard back.
That was three days ago. I've texted him a couple of times since then and no response.
This has happened to me before too. Months ago, I met a guy and we exchanged numbers and texted for about 10 days straight.
The last thing he told me was that he really like me and really trusted me but trusting too much was a big flaw of his and I said not to worry because I trusted him, too and then he NEVER texted me back again.
I asked if he could just let me know why and nothing.
Why does this always happen to me..?
I feel like it's something I can expect now. I meet a great guy, really get to know him and then suddenly he disappears AFTER he tells me how much he likes me. It makes no sense.
Why start ignoring a girl you REALLY LIKE after spilling your heart to her? I'm so confused why guys do this to me... | I meet guys, we text every day for weeks then they just disappear forever and nothing I text gets a response. |
t3_2plta5 | relationships | Me [25F] am worried about having a LDR with my boyfriend [23M] of 1yr. I love him and want to make it work. Any advice? | Okay, I will try to make this as short as possible.
I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and I couldn't be happier with our relationship. I could go on and on about how absolutely amazing he is. I envisioned a life with him, marriage, kids, white picket fence, the whole shebang!
Now here is where my dreams of a life together go to shit:
Last week he gets a call from an agent in LA saying that he got a role in a new indie movie and that he will be needed for filming in LA for the month of January but he should consider moving to LA to pursue acting full time. Now, this is not necessarily a new topic of discussion for us. In the past we have had this discussion several times, though the discussions were never serious or definitive, they were more of just ideas to him at the time and at that time we weren't super serious so it didn't really resonate with me. So when we talked last week about his decision to move to LA I was completely caught off guard. Needless to say, I was/am devastated. I feel like I am going to lose my best friend and the love of my life. Even though he has assured me numerous times that he loves me deeply and is 100% committed to making us work long distance (seeing as we would only be 5hrs away), I still am hurt and saddened by his decision to leave. I want to support and encourage him on his journey to pursue his passion; I have want to have him resent me or regret his decision to not go and pursue acting. At the same time its very hard for me to come to terms with. I would love to go with him but I have a 5yr daughter who needs me more and a good job I cant/don't want to leave. Any advice to help me to cope with a LDR is much appreciated. | Boyfriend of 1 year is moving to LA to pursue his passion. I love him and want to make it work. We want to do a LDR. Any advice to help cope with his new decision. |
t3_43bjju | Advice | My three high school best friends[18M] now hate me. | Basically I was working at a job with one of my best friends and I had to find another job because the job I was at wasn't paying enough and I needed to start paying bills.
Once I found a new job, they required me to be full-time immediately so I had to call my current job and tell them I can't come into work anymore and that I quit. My best friend then tried to hand in my two weeks but the managers told him just to leave without a two weeks because it's what I did.
Now him and my other two best friends hate me and every time they see me in public or when I try to say hi they give me dirty looks and leave. They came into my new job today and did that exact thing and it makes me feel like the horrible person every single time. I apologized to my friend for what happened and he refuses to forgive me.
I just need advice on the situation.
[ | ] I had to quit the job I worked at with my best friend and that made all three of my best friends hate me. |
t3_3x6bmr | relationships | I [24/f] want to help my brother [27/m] become more outgoing and meet people. What can I do? | My brother is a great guy, but socialization doesn't come easy to him. Our whole family is made up of introverts, but my brother lives alone, doesn't really have any friends near him, and he doesn't have any hobbies that get him out to meet people. He's not an athletic person, but I guess his hobby could be considered guns. He can sometimes have some radical ideas about politics so I can't really introduce him to my acquaintances who tend to be very liberal (and I don't really have any friends either so I'm not that much help). But I am worried about my brother being alone and not having anyone to help him get out and meet new people. What can I do to help him? With Christmas coming up I want to give him a gift that will help him get out there and meet people. | Brother is an introvert and I want to help him meet people and get the most out of life. What can I do/give to him to help? |
t3_38rpxo | tifu | TIFU by waiting too long | This was actually a month ago but whatever.
So I liked this one girl for a while now and had pussied out at every chance I had to ask her out. Eventually I worked up the courage to do so, and through a note, directly given to her by yours truly. So I wrote up the note etc., etc. then I went to try giving the note. I tried making it in a way where I wouldn't DIRECTLY give it to her, but that backfired. Once she got the note, she opened it and said, "who's this for?". I pussied out. I quickly took back the note and told her it was "for nobody".
Terrible mistake.
So later I decided to message her on social media (second mistake) about how I got nervous and stuff. About 5 minutes later she responded with,
"Sorry I have a boyfriend right now, but I'd be glad to still be friends!"
I am now in the friendzone. | I waited too long to ask a girl out and did it when she had a boyfriend and also got in the friendzone |
t3_29k5tv | relationships | Me [24F] with my BF[23 M] of 14 months, I just broke up with him, now I just hurt. | My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months and he had to move home because he left the military. He had a job for a month and was laid off, he then proceeded to pick up unemployment for 6 months, not looking for a job or anything. I broke up with him last night after 7 months of distance.
Over this time we would fight because he wouldn't call, Skype, or FaceTime. We would text everyday but when I would ask for more he would tell me that he can't because he was tired or busy. I went to see him back in Feb and he came out here in March since march he never Skyped me or FaceTime'd. We never had plans to see each other next as his life was changing.
On top of that I felt like he never actually included me in his life, I never met his family when I went to visit him, when he was here he never introduced me to a majority of his friends. We were never Facebook friends(which sounds stupid I know. When I would ask about it he would tell me that it doesn't mean anything.
I wanted to see this out but with him not going to school possibly til December, the fights, we don't have firm plans.
I don't feel like I did the wrong thing, at the same time I am scared that maybe I will regret this in the future. I just want to get over this. | Just broke up with my BF of 14 months after 7 months of Long distance. How do I go on not to regret this and move on? |
t3_1uc6ze | relationships | I [19M] have a huge crush for my coworker [20F]. | When I first met my coworker I was in a relationship and so was she. So we never thought of each other in any other way than friends. But now all of the sudden over the course of a couple days I realized that I like her a lot.
It all started with a party that we went to with a couple of coworkers. I found myself wanting to spend the majority of my time with her and wanting to dance with her. At this point in time I really wasn't thinking much of it at the time.
Fast forward a couple of days we go hangout at another coworkers party and she drank so I insisted that she spend the night at my house so she doesn't drink and drive and that I will sleep on the floor and she can sleep on my bed. When we got back to my place we changed and what not and got ready to go bed. I said I wanted to cuddle with my dog because he sleeps on my bed. She let me come up and cuddle with him. So it was her, then my dog in the middle, then me. We stayed up talking for about an hour or two and eventually both fell asleep cuddling my dog. When we woke up instead of cuddling my dog we were cuddling each other.
The problem is that we still haven't really addressed what had happened. I know that cuddling isn't really a big deal but I just don't know where I stand with her. I want to bring it up and ask about how she feels about me or ask her on a date or something of the sort. But at the same time I am hesitant due to the fact that she is my coworker and that we are pretty different people. So I am lost and don't know what to do and need advice. | I hang out with my coworker and fall pretty hard for her. She spent the night at my place and we ended up falling asleep cuddling. I don't know what to do. |
t3_19s7rh | BreakUps | Should I (29) tell her (28) I know she's seeing someone else? | Long story short, we were together for 8 months (yes I know it's not a huge amount of time), but I am still in love with my ex. We broke up because she didn't believe I was in love with. I don't blame her - I was going through a tough time, I messed her all over the place with my confused feelings and I've come to accept that my mistakes caused us to breakup and I have been working at therapy to make sure I don't make the same mistakes in any future relationships.
It makes it particularly difficult because we share mutual friends - I'm not completely over it, but I've decided I'm going to be an adult about it and I want to continue being a good friend to her (classic, I know). I have accepted she has moved on and I know she's seeing someone else now, but I'm almost certain she doesn't want me to know because it would hurt me. Recently we started talking again and as a pre-warning she told me she wouldn't be going to a friends' party (essentially so that I didn't have to worry about seeing her). I told her I appreciated her telling me but she didn't need to worry about me acting weird or anything like that because I was going to be mature about the situation. I think (hope) it was a good thing to say because she seemed to respond positively, but I can never tell with these things (was it a good thing to say?)
Now my question is, should I just tell her I know she's seeing someone else to take the weight off her back in having to tell me or shall I just wait until she tells me? I just hate this 'elephant in the room' type mentality that is always there whenever the topic comes up, and frankly I just want to move on with being her friend and for her to be happy. | Should I tell me ex I know she's seeing someone else so that it just clears the air? I hate people pussyfooting around acting like it would destroy me if I found out. |
t3_49vvg3 | tifu | TIFU by refusing to go to confession | This happened a while ago when I was attending a Catholic high school.
Every first Friday of the month the religion classes would file behind their teachers and make their way into the auditorium in order to confess their sins to the priests working at our school. As I had recently decided I did not want to be associated with religion anymore, I was none too pleased to find myself being herded into another bout of confession. By the time I reached the line for the nearest priest, I figured I'd rather make a break for the seats where people were saying their post confession prayers instead of telling the old man all the dirty things I did in my free time.
After a couple minutes of victorious silence, my religion teacher came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around as the color drained from my face, and she began interogating me as to why I skipped confession. Didn't I know that everyone needs to confess their sins? Did I want to risk going to hell? After about 15 minutes of dodging questions and staring at the floor, my teacher left me alone and sweating for the remainder of the period.
At the end of the day I thought I was home free, however standing at the doorway next to my locker was my religion teacher and my new least favorite priest in the world. They took me aside and once again tried to convince me of the wonders of confession. I had to end the conversation by saying, "I don't believe in that stuff, I need to catch my bus."
Things pretty much calmed down for a while after that, however it turned out that I had classes with the aforementioned priest the following semester. This guy not only specifically baited me in class to explain why I didn't believe in anything supernatural (making me look like a hotheaded fool) but he went on to call my parents and tell them I was an atheist. This resulted in a very heated argument at home resulting in my parents kicking me out for a bit. | I skipped going to confession in a Catholic school and the pricks who ran the place made my life hell for it. |
t3_1nfnf8 | Advice | Throwing a surprise birthday party for my GF and i need some advice on logistics... | Hello.
So here is the deal. My girlfriend and i were born on the same day (freaky, i know) and i wanted to throw her a surprise party. our party is in december (dec 17th babies!)
basically, the restaurant covers a 3 course meal, open bar/beer/soda and dessert. since we all have been to parties where everyone at the end throws cash/plastic on the table, spends 20 minutes looking at the bill until someone finally puts everything on their card.... *i want to avoid this*. since im putting the deposit on my card, i figure i would have everyone just give me their cost per head at the end in cash. how do i write this?
also, how much do i put as the cost per head? the restaurant figure i got quoted does not include tax/tip. but wasnt sure if i should already calculate the cost as a "this is the final cost, all inclusive" cost per head or should i rely on everyone to figure their own tax/tip at the end?
i also want to stipulate that no one should bring a gift since them being there is the gift. | we live in rural neighborhood in "the middle of nowhere" armpit of america that is boston and i need help with wording of the invite. |
t3_tc7o8 | relationship_advice | How do I handle a recent ex, when I'm moving on so quickly? | Back story:Me (22F) and my ex (34M) were together for around a year and a half, off and on. We started out as best friends and it gradually became something more. About a month ago I finally broke things off for good because he just wasn't the best boyfriend, and I wanted my best friend back. The problem is that this time around he isn't handling the break up well and is really heart broken. I had reached the end of my rope with him, and my romantic love for him was gone.
I recently started dating someone new, and things are fantastic. We are moving pretty quickly because of how well we click.
The problem I'm having is keeping my happiness in check around my ex. I started my internship with him (ex) a few months ago, and have one month left. He's just so sad, and I'm so happy and I feel awful. At the end of the month I'm going on a trip with the new man I'm seeing and I'm debating on whether or not to mention to my ex that I am seeing someone new. We have mutual friends, and are very involved in each other's lives. I don't know if cutting times with him would be the best bet right now. | Broke up with ex a month ago, he is heart broken. Now seeing someone new and it's getting serious quickly. Debating whether or not to hide this my from my ex. |
t3_xeu8y | travel | A week in Spain--stay in Barcelona or check out another area for a couple nights? | My wife (29) and I (28) will be spending one week in Spain next summer. We'd really like to go to Barcelona because we've heard awesome things about it, but we're not sure if we should spend the entire week there or jump on the rail and go somewhere else for 2-3 nights, possibly Valencia, the Basque region, Madrid, one of the islands, or somewhere else. We generally prefer places with a strong culinary culture/tradition but also like doing some typical touristy stuff. | Going to Spain for a week. Should we spend 1 week in Barcelona, or split it up with 3-4 nights in Barcelona and 2-3 nights somewhere else? |
t3_20y90p | relationships | Me (20F) had a fling with (19M) that ended and now in an awkward friendsish stage | I had a short fling with one of my guy friends that ended a couple of months ago. While we were "dating" we would cuddle and hook up but we never actually had sex. It ended because I was unsure about how invested he was in what was going on and didn't know how to proceed. He did the slow fade and we stopped talking for a while.
I bought him a birthday gift before it ended and decided to give it to him anyways. When it came in the mail, I went and dropped it off at his house. We talked for a while and it was pleasant and seemed totally normal. I'm unsure of whether that meant he was just being nice and friendly or because he might actually want to try to pursue a friendship or something with me. I haven't been clingy or attached, haven't called or texted since it ended and just gave him space. I really liked having him as a friend and don't want to lose that but I am unsure if he wants the same thing. | Had a fling with one of my guy friends. Dropped off a birthday gift at his house and we talked and it seemed totally normal. Do I pursue a friendship with him or am I misreading the signals? |
t3_4wc6gt | relationships | How do I (27F) politely stop people from hugging me so much? | Resubmitting to fix errors.
I'm Canadian, and recently moved to California to be with my (American) husband (29M). So far I love it here - weather's amazing, I love the city - but I am starting to dislike how much Americans seem to hug. It feels petty to complain about because I know everyone is just being friendly and welcoming but every new person I meet immediately pulls me into a hug and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not used to it, and I personally only like getting hugs from people I already know and love. I think it's a bit too much when someone I don't know greets me like that, I'd rather just shake hands.
I've told my husband this and he said not to sweat it and and just hold my hand out to shake when they approach me for a hug, or tell them that I'm not much of a hugger. I've been doing these things but it doesn't help, I've had people just laugh like I'm being silly and hug me anyway. I even had one guy joke about me doing the "Canadian hug" when I put my hand out to shake and said "that's not what we do in America!" and hugged me anyway.
I would really like this to stop but I feel like I've tried all I can. I don't want to potentially push new friends away because I am new and would like to meet people but I also need to have my personal boundaries respected. I've even tried standing a bit back when the American hug train is rolling through but I just end up being the last stop and have to deal with many hugs immediately in succession. Is this something I will just have to live with, or is there a magic American phrase I can use to prevent this? | Canadian freshly moved to America, asking for a way to politely but firmly let people know that I am uncomfortable with hugs as a salutation. |
t3_1p7fxd | dating_advice | Not sure what I (22F) should do next with (26M) | Met this guy (26M) online a few weeks ago, we texted all the time at first and it started slowing down after the first date. We already had a second date that went great and had another planned for tonight but he had to go out of town last minute and asked for a rain check. Annoying since I was supposed to go over to his place right after work today but at least he told me before I showed up with him not there.
My question is, at this point should I leave it to him to text/message me to set up the next date? I usually was the one to initiate conversations but I almost feel like I should give him space. I feel like we had great chemistry and would love to see things go further but I'm not sure where to go from here. | Date asked for a rain check, should I not text him and let him set the next date up? (or if I don't hear from him know he isn't interested) |
t3_qkoss | AskReddit | I'm having a lack of confidence in the idea of marriage. Married people, tell me it works. | So, I'm engaged to a wonderful guy that I've known since I was very young. He's truly great, really good to me, and wants to marry me and be amazing to me. I love him, our relationship is good.
But, here's the thing- He's had really great examples of marriage and relationships in his life. His parents are happy, other couples he knows are happy.
I, on the other hand, cannot think of a single relationship or married couple I know that is happy. My parents yell at each other quite a bit, my aunt got cheated on by her first husband and now has a not very good second one, etc. etc. etc. It goes on.
I've never ever considered getting married until my SO came into the picture. It sounds nice with him, and I was confident we'd be different, that we'd work.
Recently, I've been starting to doubt again that marriage EVER works out. In my mind, from MY personal experience, it only leads to the couple hating each other, or growing tired of each other, and I've heard that kids only make it worse.
Everyone I've talked to, even when people were congratulating me on my engagement, ALWAYS had to throw in how hard marriage is, how hard you have to work at it, how it's not always a picnic. None of these people EVER could tell me it was worth it, though. I know it's hard work, but isn't it WORTH IT? Can you not tell me, "Yeah, it can be difficult, but I LOVE IT,"? That you're happy?
A friend of mine even asked me, "Uhh, you sure you want to get married?" like an asshole. No one can tell me anything good about marriage.
I just need someone to tell me that they're happy in their marriage, that they truly wouldn't change it if they could. Can anyone just tell me anything positive about it? Because I'm really starting to lose hope. | My relationship with my fiance is great, but due to my lack of examples of good marriages, and only having examples of bad ones, I'm losing my hope that marriage works. |
t3_2ma7em | tifu | TIFU by shouting a racial slur at my hot bartender | So this actually happened a few months ago, but I've only recently discovered the tifu subreddit.
I have a habit of saying the wrong thing. Especially around pretty ladies.
After a long day, I decided to have a pint to chill out before heading home. I went into a bar and the barmaid instantly caught my eye. She was a tall, slim, edgy looking Asian girl. She didn't see me right away, so I was playing with my phone while waiting to be served. After a few minutes, she came over, I ordered my drink. She was smiley and cute, which made me become a fumbling awkward mess.
I should mention that the music was pretty loud too.
She handed me back my change, which I obviously dropped and looked like an idiot. So while trying desperately to pick it up, I went to thank her.
I started to say "cheers", but then half said "thanks". I shouted, so she could hear me over the music. The song ended, just as I shouted "CHINKS!!".
At my beautiful, Asian barmaid.
Everybody heard.
TIFU. | today I messed up my words and combined cheers and thanks to shout " chinks " at a beautiful, Asian barmaid. |
t3_4298bb | relationships | Me [33 M] with my DW [36 F] of 10yrs, Found her vibrator should I bring it up? | My wife's sex drive has been non-existent since we had our last kid (2 years ago). I tried to spice things by getting her some vibrators but she said she didn't like them. About 3 weeks ago I told her I tossed out all of the "toys" since we never used them (we are cleaning out to move).
This week I was putting away some laundry and noticed that the rabbit vibrator I bought her was hidden in there. She must have taken it out of the bag of stuff we were throwing away.
So my question is should I let her know that I found it? Should I pull it out next time we have sex and try it on her? | Found DW's vibrator that I tossed out b/c she said she didn't like it in her drawer. Should I tell her? |
t3_13hzl9 | dogs | Irresponsible housemate wants to get a puppy, how do I persuade him to reconsider? | I live in a big house with 3 other students. We all work part time and attend university full time, the house is pretty much vacant through out most of the day.
Today, the least responsible resident asked for my advice on getting a puppy as a present for his girlfriend, since I work a lot with dogs and currently have 7 (yes, 7) dogs back home, all of which I've raised from pups.
Previously, my housemate had a pet fish in the house that lasted all but three days. He cannot comply with simple rules such as: turn the lights off when you leave the house, keep the heat at an acceptable level, take out the trash, clean up after yourself, etc.
When I tried to explain puppycare and the amount of responsibility required he responds with "You're talking to someone who is becoming a doctor". He seems very arrogant on this decision, and I really don't want a puppy's health to be jeopardized due to his lack of responsibility.
Please help, thank you. | Irresponsible housemate who is not home for the majority of the day wants to adopt a puppy, I don't believe he's cut out for it, and wish he would reconsider. |
t3_jx30u | AskReddit | Stuck in a sticky situation... | I don't want to name any names as both parties are on reddit. If they see this then whatever, I'm willing to take the risk.
I was seeing a girl about four months ago for around a week or two. We didn't do anything due to the fact that she informed me that she had an STI. I broke it off with her after learning this as I wasn't really looking for anything serious and didn't want to endanger myself. I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone about her condition and told her to go see the doctor ASAP.
However I soon came to realise that she had a few screws loose and was not acting rational and, without revealing any details, she was pretty crazy.
I ignored her and treated her civil whenever we would bump into eachother. She then started to talk/flirt with my good friends. I warned them without revealing specifically that she had an STI that they shouldn't do anything with her - it's a bad idea, don't stick dick in crazy etc.
She then became really attached to a specific friend of mine who seems to be ignoring my warnings. I know they have kissed and stuff but not sure how far they have gone (He is trying to keep it a secret from me due to the fact that I was seeing her, but I really don't mind, we were nothing serious).
I know how dangerous she is and how she does not act normally. I am afraid she isn't going to tell him about the STI and fuck him over and he will catch something.
So reddit, do I tell my friend she has an STI, or do I keep my promise to her, or do I stay out of it. If I was in his position I would want to know. I've talked to my girlfriend about it and she says I should stay out of it. | crazy ex has an STI, ex is fooling around with friend, do I warn friend about STI or keep my promise to stay quiet. |
t3_1tl13z | Advice | Roommate dropped out. Complicated situation involving housing, need advice. | Hi all,
I'm currently a college student and living in a house shared by 5 people. Here is the complicated part:
We are only supposed to have 4 people in the house (as in the agreement of the lease) but there 5 people living in the house, so one person isn't on the lease. This one person, we'll call him A, drops out mid semester due to mental health issues.
We found out this month A won't be coming back for the second semester and isn't paying rent anymore. He left all of his stuff here.
A can't pay for January's rent (due in 8 days) and we are in a rut to come up with the extra money.
I know there isn't anything I can do legally against him, but I have no idea what to do in this situation.
Does anyone know of any possible advice for this predicament? | Roommate drops out, isn't on the lease, left all of his stuff here still occupying his room, can't pay rent. wat do. |
t3_3jmi7e | relationships | Me (25M) about to break up with my girlfriend (30F) of 1 month. Unsure how to go about it | We started contact around 2 months ago on OKCupid, met up and been dating since shortly after (BF/GF for just over a month). This is the first relationship I've been in and so far it's been good. We get along incredibly well, similar interests, hobbies and even aspirations and on paper she kind of feels like the perfect girl.
For some reason I just don't like her in the same way she likes me and I fully don't expect that to change and for her benefit, I want to end it now before she gets even more attached. She's had relationship issues in the past and i'm just worried that this is going to make things even worse for her since outwardly, I've expressed no discontent whatsoever with the relationship.
Part of the difficulty now is she has been on holiday for the past week and returns today and we had already planned to meetup at hers later tonight. Her mother will also be staying over at hers tonight so it seems like a bad time to go through the breaking up motions. It also seems fairly callous to see her tonight acting like everything is fine and then go through the talk tomorrow.
Totally unsure of how to go about this but I just want to get it over with before any additional unnecessary hurt is caused. Being extremely mindful that her birthday is also coming up later this month and it seems like it would be even worse to breakup around that time but dragging it out past it would be even worse. | Short term girlfriend really into me, feeling not mutual and not expected to change. Want to end it before she grows more attached. Help on timing? |
t3_mu4y6 | AskReddit | Help me answer a copyright/trademark/brand question about the reddit alien!!! | Here's the story:
A friend of mine makes dyes silk ties with custom designs, and I thought it would be really cool to get my good friend (and fellow redditor) a tie with the reddit alien peeking around the side of the face. Naturally she asked where I came up with the design and where the alien was from and I told her I designed the tie, but the alien is from this website called reddit.com. She looked into it briefly, but then said she couldn't pull herself to do it because she's not sure about all the legal issues in selling me a tie with the reddit alien on it.
I thought someone in here might be able to help me confirm if she can, or can't go through with making it. Thanks for the help!! | Want friend to custom design tie with reddit alien on it. Need advice of the legality of her making (just one) to sell to me. |
t3_358jqi | personalfinance | Wife has poor credit because of past medical bills | So to cut straight to the chase...about 9 years ago my wife lost both of her parents. She had recently moved to a new city to start a new career, but this sudden loss caused her to go into a severe depression. She ended up quitting her job and moving in with her sister. She had money left to her by her parents but she was in and out of the hospital for the next 4 or so years. Her medical bills began to pile up, and she has not always been the best at paying on time anyways.
As she was getting better at coping, she got a job, was able to pay for treatments, and that's also when we met. Before we married, we ended up buying a car. I saw her credit was in the low 500s and I ended up just paying for it myself, since it was unlikely she'd be approved for a loan. We then looked up her credit reports and saw she had maybe around 20 accounts through different collection agencies--all for medical treatments she didn't pay.
My question is her credit is already bad, and I'm trying to help her re-establish some form of credit, but what should we do about the old accounts? We looked into filing medical bankruptcy for her, but the amount isn't too high (25,000) and the accounts look like they'd be falling off starting this year and for the next few years. And no point in extending the life on her credit report. We currently don't make enough to pay the accounts off outright, without cutting deep into our emergency fund and savings.
I'm still new to this whole credit/credit repairing thing. I don't know exactly the best course of action in the scenario. So what should we do? Is letting the items fall off going to magically fix her credit? Should we try and pay the accounts off? Any help would be great. Thanks :) | Wife went to the hospital and never paid. It's been 4-7 years since her last treatment, should we let it fall off? Will there be any repercussions for doing this? |
t3_d7m8f | AskReddit | Changing Majors (Medical Field) | Hi reddit, I'm currently a pre-pharm college student but I'm now starting to realize that I've totally lost my interest and passion for chemistry and pharmacy. I'm still working on finishing my science and math classes at the community college I'm currently attending but now I have no idea what to major in. I was hoping that reddit might be able to steer me in the right direction.
I know I want a job in the medical field because of its reliability, money, and because I really love science (leaning towards biology and anatomy and a tiny bit of chemistry). I don't want to try for an MD at the moment because it would be too costly, time and money-wise for me, and I need to finish school as soon as possible so I can support my mother financially so she can raise my two little sisters. At the moment she pulls multiple jobs to make ends meet and I really don't want to make her have to wait 8 years for me to get an MD so that's out of the picture.
Money is really important in this situation so I was looking for a job that could pay 80-100k a year.
As you can see pharmacy fits the bill perfectly, excluding the part about what type of sciences I like. It's only 4 years after pre-reqs, it pays 80-100k, and its a very reliable job in the medical field but I just don't think its for me. Chemistry is starting to get extremely painful, to the point where I don't even wanna look at it anymore and thinking about having to deal with that topic for another 4 years makes me wanna blow my brains out. I would really like a career in the medical field which is more biology or anatomy related, with good pay, and is shorter than 6 years. I would be eternally grateful to anyone that could tell me if any such jobs exist or if pharmacy is the only option. | Looking for a job in the the medical field more biology or anatomy related, with pay of 80,000 and upwards, and less than 6 years of college (after pre-reqs). |
t3_4tats4 | Dogtraining | I'm in desperate need of help | My dog is 2. We moved to a new apartment from my childhood home about a month ago. While in our old home, he would have accidents but they weren't all that often when I moved without him (long story not for this sub). I came for him once I moved about four months later. He was a bad dog for my family during those four months. I brought him back and for the first few days he was good. Since then, he has been incredibly bad. I take him for walks, he refuses to go to the bathroom but instead waits for the first five minutes to pee and poop all over the kitchen. We've had a few good days in the past month, but nothing consistent. I don't know what to do anymore. Praising him for going outside doesn't work, and I can't tell at him for this hours later when I get home from work. He's been breaking into the garbage and eating things in there and making himself sick. I'm at my wits end. If I put him in his cage, which I hate doing but something needs to change, he barks extremely loud. If I'm home with him, he's a good dog, for the most part. I can't send him home, I don't want to rehome him, but I can't do this every day. | moved without my dog, he behaved badly for my family, moved again, got my dog, he's been untrainable for me. |
t3_4bhyt4 | relationships | Me [27F] with my SO[30M] 3 years, says he cannot apologize for hurting me because he doesn't think what he did was wrong. | Edit/ | My SO and I have different ideas of what "sorry" means, trying to understand his perspective or could use advice on how to better explain mine. |
t3_44mchu | relationships | Me [39M] with my girlfriend [28F] of two years, can't deal with being the responsible adult all the time | We've been together for a long time, I love and appreciate her and hope to one day marry and have children.
That said, right now, I want nothing more than to get out, move cities, hide and cry for a while.
In a nutshell, she isn't self-motivated to do anything. She had her ups and downs, sometimes she contributes more, but lately I am the one paying the bills, cleaning the house, dealing with everything life throws at us and she just keeps telling me that I stress out too much and that she's comfortable with letting things sit. For anything in our lives that needs to happen (find a new place, get a job, taxes, get insurance) I have to be the one driving and making things come together. At best I get criticism at worst I get the argument that if I really want these things to happen I have to make her do them.
We've had the talk about being part of a team multiple times over the years, and we can have it again, but I am at the end of my rope due to other life events - huge financial losses, really high pressure at work combined with a very bad change of management and so forth.
I am looking for advice from folks who have been in the same situation - what did you do and how did it turn out? | I am stressed out as hell by events in my life and can't deal with being the adult in the relationship 100% of the time |
t3_3ae6h4 | relationships | My boyfriend of one year (M18) won't let me (F18) enjoy the occasional blunt | I don't know if I'm just being extra sensitive, but before my relationship with my current boyfriend, I was in a relationship with a very controlling guy. I mean this guy got me to stop weed altogether, told me to change the way I dress, and basically gave me ultimatums all the time.
Also, I did have a period of time in the summer that I spent with a very questionable guy, and part of what we did involved smoking a lot of weed. So that might be a reason he doesn't want me smoking.
So now, moving on to the current boyfriend, who I really do love, I feel like the same thing is stating to happen. With him, instead of a flat out ultimatum, he pretty much refused to talk to me for a few days after I smoked with my friends. Now he's told me he doesn't want me to do it because his father is an alcoholic, and he doesn't want to see me go down the same path, but the way I see it, our relationship is separate from his relationship with his father.
Anyway, we're both going off to pursue post secondary education (in the same town). I know I'm going to want to go to parties and I am going to want to smoke. So my question is, how do I get him open to the idea of me smoking occasionally? | I had a controlling ex, making me sensitive to my current boyfriend telling me I can't smoke weed. This current boyfriend has issues with his alcoholic father and its affecting our relationship. |
t3_1szgso | relationships | Me [20 M] dumped by girlfriend [20 F] of 3 years, don't know how to stop myself from talking to her. | Long distance girlfriend of 3 years ended the relationship this morning. we hadn't been together officially in months after a lot of fights we decided to take a break be friends and work towards being in a relationship again.
For the last week or so she had been acting distant I asked her on multiple occasions if there was someone else and if there was to let me know she assured me that there was no one else and all she wanted to do was work towards being with me again. yesterday she told me that she was heading out to lunch with friends and I assumed she would message me when she got back because for the entire length of the relationship we had been speaking/texting most of the day every day, but she never replied.
10 hours or so later when talking to one of my friends he informed me that she had found a new boyfriend, the day after assuring me that there was no one else but me, someone she had been good friends with since moving away a year and a half ago. this morning she messaged me acting like nothing had happened I told her that she should have told me and not lead me on, she defended herself saying that she never lead me on and it just sort of happened.
She told me about how happy the new guy made her, but she told me that it wasn't for sure and that "she thinks of me when she looks at him". I told her that she should just be with him if it makes her happy and I ended contact between us.
Its been 5 hours since that happened and I went out shopping with friends to try and get my mind off it but halfway into the shopping trip I started thinking about what had happened and i started feeling ill and couldn't finish my lunch. since then I have been wanting to message her to talk but I know I probably shouldn't. She was the only person I talked to really and it became part of what I did everyday and not having someone to talk to makes me feel horrible. | Want to go back to an ex even though I know I shouldn't, how can I get rid of the thoughts? |
t3_1bw0ff | relationships | My(19f) SO (19m) blatantly disrespected his mother in front of me and I can't stop thinking about it | **A little background:** My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now and we just got back from a trip with his family a few days ago. I love him very much--he's a great guy who is extremely caring, honest, and loving. Not only do I love him but I respect him. That's why this is such a big deal to me--he's a really stand-up guy and I feel like I may have lost some of that respect. The honeymoon phase of the relationship is starting to ware off as I'm getting to know him better and better (especially whenever we go on trips together). I understand and accept the fact that we all have flaws and I've accepted his since I love him.
Here's the thing about him: he has a bit of an issue with his ego--because of this, he's the type of person who loves arguments and always has to be right. This hasn't been a big issue with us since he's a lot more conscious of it around me, but I've noticed it with his interactions with other people.
He's usually very respectful with his mom. He loves her and is respectful and affectionate with her. But when we were packing, he said something to her that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I didn't hear everything, but I could tell she was pestering him about something since we were in a rush to leave and he lost his cool and told her, "go fuck yourself." The remark, accompanied by her nonchalant response made me *extremely* uncomfortable.
I always hear people saying that if a guy openly disrespects his mother he won't have a problem doing the same to his SO. So far, he's been very respectful and caring in the way he treats me, but hearing that left a bad feeling in my stomach. I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole day.
So what would you do in my situation? Would you talk to him about it? We're usually good with communication, but I don't know if I should bring it up or how I should feel about it. Am I overthinking it? Tell me what you think. | SO told his mom "go fuck yourself" and I can't stop thinking about how uncomfortable it made me. Not sure if I should confront him or not |
t3_ou2nn | AskReddit | how do I make a jump from wrenching cars to sales/ marketing? | Hello fellow redditors. As of late I have been content as a full time factory trained technician. I bought my own condo at age 23, with no outside help. I have a nice new(er) car and built my own motorcycle.
Things were going well, until I was laid off.
In the automotive industry there is an annual drop in business over the winter in new england. both due to economy and weather. I have grown somewhat tired of this and now having been laid off, realize I need to do something else with my life.
Last year I worked at a fairly small chain restaurant as a server and realized my potential as a sales personnel. Many people were complimenting my skill with customers, personality, and generally inquiring about my sales experience. General consensus was I had a good sales approach and many of my customers asked if I was in sales full time. This got me to thinking maybe I would be good at it.
Fast forward. I'm out of work and feeling like now is my time to make a jump. I would like to do something in marketing/ pr, but have no formal training. I am sure with an in-person interview I could overcome the lack of formal training in the sales field with my charisma and personality but how do I go about getting to that step. Reddit I need opinions and ideas. Anything helps. | I got laid off and think I could do more with my life than the career I was headed for, but need help getting there. |
t3_1d7azo | relationships | I [F, 23] can't get this invasive sadness out of my head when I know I'm perfectly in love | There really shouldn't be a problem in this situation. And honestly I am not certain there is, which is why I need some outside perspective. I [F, 23] am 2 months into a relationship with my bf [M, 24] and we both enjoy spending time together. Earlier, toward the beginning, it was easier for me to be light and flirty with him; things were fun and exciting and there was momentum. Since then, my affection has only grown, and things are still fun and exciting and the momentum is still there, but I've noticed that it's getting increasingly difficult for me to get through an evening with him without fighting back tears.
I'm worried that because he's always seen only my happy-go-lucky side for the 1.5 yrs we've known each other (and presumably that's the aspect he decided to get into a relationship with), seeing me sad for no apparent reason will really push him away.
To be clear, I can't explain the sadness. I've had bouts of melancholy growing up and am generally a glass-half-empty kind of person, though people always compliment me on appearing to be the opposite because I hide things pretty well. But the invasive sadness I feel when I'm with him is intense and makes me feel empty and alone, and I've noticed that the more I try to express my love, the more the sadness gets in the way. I know I love him, and I'd like to look him in the eyes and tell him, but when I try, I just start crying and I've had to look away or pretend to hug him so as not to show it. I'm worried that if this keeps happening he'll just want out. (I get the sense that one of the biggest reasons he likes me is my constant cheerfulness and optimism.)
Thanks for reading all this and I'd appreciate any advice/perspective/similar experiences. And if this is completely trivial or normal, please tell me as well so I'll stop overthinking it. | The more intensely I experience love, the sadder I get, and I'm worried it'll ruin this relationship with someone I really care about. |
t3_3ob9t5 | relationships | My (18M) gf (17F) of 1 month is moving this year to the US and we don't know what to do with the relationship | We have been together for a month, we knew each other before that so when we started dating it became pretty more serious than dating someone who you just met.
We live in Spain, but her mother wants to move to the US. They are still here because they have a newborn and his documents haven't arrived yet, so my gf is not allowed to live there (don't ask me why, I do not understand how that works). That is really stressful for her because the documents can arrive tomorrow or the next year.
Well, last night her mother told her that today she had a surprise for her. This can be that the documents are here. We talked and she said that she is constantly thinking about the moment when she will have to leave, and that makes it hard to enjoy the relationship. She doesn't want to break up, but it is a struggle for her. I don't know what to say, because my approach to this is to enjoy what we have while we still have it, but that isn't so easy for her.
We talked about long distance too, because she will be staying until the next summer, and she doesn't want to try long distance because everybody says that it doesn't work. I told her that if she leaves this month or the next one I wouldn't want to be long distance either, but that if she leaves a few months later, after being together for more time it would be worth it to try. She still doesn't know what to do.
I want this relationship to work reddit. When it started I saw it as something not so serious because I was leaving for college too, but now it feels different. I have known her for a long time and I am starting to have stronger feelings for her, and I think that for her it is the same, that's why she is so affected by the fact that she will have to eventually leave. Whatever she decides I will respect it, but she needs me to help her decide.
What can I do guys? | Girlfriends is moving to the US but doesn't know when. This is affecting our relationship because we both knew each other for a lot of time and are starting to develop feelings now. |
t3_2zt7v6 | relationships | Ex-bf (28/M) and I want to try to reconcile. But he says it's not my business who he sleeps with since I (24/F) broke up with him. | We dated two years most of which was good. We broke up a month ago after a prolonged argument from a long spat of arguments. I left crying from his house. I got home at 3 AM, had a moment of clarity called him and dumped him. Then I went over and we talked it out and I explained the breakup in person.
Obviously he was hurt but he agreed it was probably for the best. I told him we should take time and space from each other but he begged me not to. So we kept in contact and things seemed alright.
The other night I call him asking about reconciliation. He says mentally/rationally he wants to be together but he is emotionally damaged. That the breakup really hurt him but we can take it slow. However, I ask him if he's seeing anyone else/fucking other people and he claims it's not my business. That if I was so concerned I shouldn't have dumped him in the first place. I can't "have my cake and eat it too," expect monogamy when I ended it.
To add to this, he still wants me to come as his guest for a wedding, still wants to celebrate his bday, AND asks if I want to take a trip with his family this summer.
He sounds resentful to me and I believe his attitude is turning a cycle of resentment. To me, it sounds like he just wants to punish me. When I argue that is important for my sexual, emotional health, he claims let's use condoms then. But his stance is firm. He claims he's not saying he has or even wants to fuck other ppl, but I shouldn't ask those things when I ended it. What should I do? | BF and I broke up, I broke up a/him. I would like to reconcile And he is willing but he also thinks it's not my business who else he decides to fuck. I fear resentment |
t3_2rhbvm | travel | Facing an upcoming travel predicament... | Hi r/travel/!
Sorta new to reddit so sorry if this isn't up to standard.
Here is my predicament as a broke 21-year-old:
Last year a Canadian friend of mine invited me to come visit him in Victoria, B.C. - I booked a reasonably cheap ($250!) roundtrip flight to Seattle from Nashville (I live in TN) and made plans to visit Victoria from there in the first week of February.
After recently being told by my friend that he could not secure a passport and school would interfere with the trip, I figured I could just cancel the flight and be refunded as it was still over a month out.
Well, apparently I can't get that ticket refunded, rescheduled or credited back to me in any way shape or form.
I figured I'll just take the flight and try to make the best of the trip. However, due to some recent sickness and other financial challenges I've missed almost half a month of work and simply do not have the money to pay for hotels, transportation, amenities, food, etc. for 7 whole days. (I had assumed I would be staying with my Canadian friend and he had offered to host me.)
A few friends have suggested that I look into couch-surfing, hostels, shelters, etc.. I have been to Seattle before but I really don't know how comfortable I feel with those options, despite being a very open/outgoing and free-spirited individual.
I unfortunately do not know anyone there who would be willing to let me stay with them either.
What kind of options do I have? How can I have a good time in Seattle without spending tons of money? What do people do when travel plans go awry? Suggestions for "alternative" travel ideas? | I have to spend a week in Seattle and have no place to stay, no money to spend, no friends to stay with/visit and no mode of transportation. What should I do to make the most of this trip? |
t3_4jvnxn | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex [20 F] of three years, She has listed another man as the Father to my possible child. | Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a situation here and just want to know what I can do about it.
Three years ago my ex 'Jess' fell pregnant while we were still together, before telling me she split up with me and announced the pregnancy on the internet, leaving me to find out for myself, when I confronted her she was adamant the child was mine.
After the child 'Chris' was born Jess told me that I was not allowed to be on his bith certificate, from my view she was using it as a weapon against me, from the moment he was born I asked her for a DNA test to prove I was his father but she would refuse, and later change her mind and tell me that I could not be listed as his father on his birth certificate unless I had a DNA test done. All in all, very confusing.
Just before Chris's second birthday I was stopped being allowed to see him and told that I would never be a father to him as the man she was currently seeing 'Jake' was all they would ever need, it's worth pointing out that at this time I did go to a solicitors to find out what options I had but court was way out of my price range.
Now, fast forward to just before Chris turns three and I had ordered a copy of his birth certificate for myself, it states that it was changed two years after Chris was both and that another man 'Liam' is Chris's biological father.. Liam is Jake's cousin that Jess has just had another child with, from what I know she didn't know Liam when Chris was conceived.
I have constantly tried to contact both Jess and Liam and have been told that he is Chris's biological father and to leave them both alone, I fear that if I contact them again they will see it as harassment and get the police involved.
Am I wrong for trying to find out if I have a child and what can I do to find out the truth?
Thank you all for reading, I appreciate any comments. | Might be a father but ex is refusing to allow me DNA test and has listed another man as father two years after child was born |
t3_30aqnu | relationships | My Ex-girlfriend owes me £8000 and won't return it to me? | Me and my ex-girlfriend have been together for just over 2 years. Throughout this time my ex-girlfriend asked me to lend her money to pay her debts and promised she would return it to me when she has money. Before we broke up, she confessed to me that she did not use the money to repay any of her debts, but instead spent it on her own things such as clothes and jewellery.
Later after we have broken up, I asked her when she was convenient to return the money and she simply said no refund. She understands that I am a 20 years old undergraduate student and that most of the money was from my student loans and grants.
However, she doesn't care for my circumstance and background, her explanation for not returning the money was that I wasted her time. She even tells me back that I should pay her back for her time and presence she spent with me.
She told me to go and get a lawyer if I want the money back, knowing that I don't have the money and evidence, she is laughing at me at broad daylight, frequently posting pictures of herself going on holiday trying to irritate me.
She is in China and I am in the UK, the distance makes it difficult to keep track of her location, the only thing I have is her mother's and father's home address, I am not sure whether this would help me or not?
Could anybody tell me how I can deal with these kinds of situations? Please feel free to share your ideas and opinions on my case.
Thank you very much, I will really appreciate the help from anybody. | My girlfriend from China breaks her promise to return my £8000, I feel like I have been robbed and I am seeking help on I can get my money back. |
t3_ixvv4 | relationships | He's not coming with me to grad school | Dear Reddit,
I am a 25 year old female and my boyfriend is 27. We have been together for 6 years. Now, I'm moving across the country for a funded (i.e. they are paying me) PhD program. He has decided not to come with me. He says "I have no idea who I am," "I need to do stuff on my own," etc. He doesn't have a career or any reason to stay behind except his family and a few acquaintances. I still love him but I am deeply hurt and angry and I feel abandoned. If he doesn't come with me now I don't know if I can keep loving him; I may have to get over him for my sanity.
He says he still loves me and has suggested that he might come along eventually, but he won't give me a straight answer about when and said that if he couldn't move in with me immediately (i.e. without looking for his own place) he wouldn't want to do it. If I give him an ultimatum along the lines of "Come with me or lose me" I know he will choose to stay behind because he hates ultimata. When I talk to him about these feelings he has a way of convincing me that it will all be okay and that we'll be together again and it will be like it was before, but afterward I always feel bad again.
Am I being unreasonable? Will it, as he suggested, be my fault if our relationship ends because I didn't make space for him to [whatever whatever]? Is he even worth it given all this? | Boyfriend of 6 years has opted not to move across the country with me; I'm not sure how to feel about it. |
t3_35b54f | relationships | Me[25/f], him [27/m]: Is it normal to ask for verification in a relationship that the other person's feelings are in line with yours? | I'll try to be as concise as possible. In the fall, I started dating someone. We really hit it off and I developed strong feelings for him. After two months of awesomeness, he shut down on me very quickly and unexpectedly -- basically, he decided he wasn't feeling it. Obviously that's fair, people change their minds and we weren't together very long. But it was still very hurtful and a bit scarring to allow myself to open up to someone that much, and then be completely shut down.
Now, for the last two months, I have been seeing another guy. He's wonderful, and seems to be into me. In a normal week we are usually together 3-4 nights, and we both initiate. He is affectionate toward me and in general his demeanor seems to imply he likes me, but now I'm very scared of a repeat situation in which I let myself develop stronger feelings for someone than they have for me. I want to protect myself, if possible.
Would be it weird to have a sort of check-in talk, just to verify that we are on the same page as to where we see this going / how we feel about each other? Basically, I feel right now like I want this to be a long-term relationship. I see a ton of potential in it. But if he does not feel the same way I do not want to let myself get sucked further in. At the same time however, it's not like he's giving me signs that he doesn't feel the same way... more that he's not giving me explicit, unmistakeable signs that he does, if that makes sense, and the fact that there's any room for doubt at all makes me feel uneasy and scared. Yet I fear if I try to have a conversation about this, I might come off as needy or overbearing ("LOVE ME"). | Is it normal or weird to initiate a conversation with my boyfriend of two months about his feelings toward me and if we are on the same page about long-term plans? |
t3_2dusaw | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [20 M/F] 2.5 Years, To stay and fight or give up on a lost cause? | My girlfriend and I of 2.5 years recently had a falling out. We were arguing or so for a good couple weeks and eventually it seemed she started to lose interest.
After I confronted her about this she ended the relationship with me.
2 Weeks later, (now), she has recently started talking to me again saying how much she misses me, how I was her best friend and how she wants things to go back to normal.
This is all fine with me except one thing, she went on a date with another guy two days later after we broke up.
Now I'm sure love is blinding me here right now but I want to know is this worth fighting for?
She said that he only kissed her on the cheek and she did not go back out with him because it did not feel right. Previous experience and gut tells me shes trying to test the waters for other prospects while I'm the back up.
But the part thats in love with her is telling me maybe its worth the trouble.
She also refuses to tell me who he is and the reason she even did it so soon afterwards was because she thought I was out fooling around with other girls and wanted to make me upset.
I realize this seems very high school ish and immature but I'd love some clarity on this, perhaps first hand experiences with such things or just some good ole fashion advice. | GF and I broke up, she went on a date with another guy. Now she wants to try to work things out with me like it never happened. |
t3_v3zko | AskReddit | After watching the "Thrive Movement", can someone explain to me how they don't believe the Fed, IMF, and World Bank aren't evil? | I am a Finance student finishing up my last year and am currently taking "International Finance" this summer. I recently watched the Thrive Movement on youtube and found it very interesting. While a lot of people might not agree with the Aliens/Torus part in the beginning, how does anyone disagree with what our Monetary system is doing? We can see this happening in current events, that the IMF has control over countries like Spain and Greece. The IMF gets to choose whether to "bail" them out by putting them into more debt with now their own fake currency, the SDR. Now being a finance student, learning how all international currency trade is done is a bit disturbing. Most of the time 2 parties take different risks in these transactions, that truly hold no real world value, and the bank processing the transactions always gets a cut without taking any real risk. To me it is a little too obvious how powerful they are becoming and I can't see how people with this knowledge don't see the same thing. Their use of fractional reserve banking just creates fake money out of more fake money while they get more power. Mathematically the bubble from this system has to pop at some point and decline. I need some answers if people agree with me or if there is a different side I am failing to see. | Finance student wants to know if everyone thinks the large private banks are getting too powerful or if some don't think they are evil |
t3_ug5yn | relationships | My boyfriend won't let me have guy friends, or even say a word to them unless he's there. | We've been together for a year and five months, and I love him, but I don't think this is fair. The reason he started this rule is because guys would flirt with me, and I would be nice and just kind of continue talking to them, but I would never flirt back. I know I could've handled it better but I didn't have very many friends because I had dropped out of school, and I was trying to hold on to as many as I could. But that was a year ago, and I just recently started taking GED classes at a college. During one of our breaks, a guy asked me what I was listening to, so I told him. When I told my boyfriend, he freaked, over me saying one word to the kid. He yelled at me and threw a fit, even though the same day he went to his bestfriends girlfriends house, (his bestfriend was there too) and talked to her. Double standard much? I love him, but I don't like these restrictions. Its been a very long time since I've been around people, and I don't want to miss a chance to make a friend. I don't know how to make him comfortable with me having guy friends again. Also, he's 16, I'm 17. | 16 year old male won't let his 17 year old girlfriend of a year and half have guy friends because she was nice to people who would flirt with her a year ago. |
t3_2igpw4 | relationships | I [F/22] don't know what to do with a situation that came up with an ex [M/44] and his wife [F/39] | Sigh! Well needless to say, I made a throwaway account for security purposes, but I am going crazy with the situation.
When I was 19 I met a man, yes married and we started a relationship. We had this relationship for over one year and things just got nasty between him and I because of course they had to. He is a married man, twice my age and it was a recipe for disaster. After losing contact and going separate way, he contacted me and I agreed to speak with him. I thought at the time we both needed closure, since there was a pregnancy involved so we talked. We were very out in public and it's a small town, his wife drove by. she went crazy, because she knew about me and had "warned" him not to see me again. She spoke to my boyfriend at the time, although he knew everything about my past.
It was a very rough few days, my relationship almost came to an end, and theirs did too. Him and I continued contact through out those days just to be aware of what she was doing next. They talked and she gave him another chance given that she had cheated on him a few years past that and he "forgave" her.
Everything was over, or so I thought. This morning she was in my driveway going crazy and yelling at me non stop. Saying that she had warned me and wanting to speak to my parents. She yelled and told me that i kept having contact with her husband, when I didn't. We haven't spoken in months and I am just very frustrated. I know I fucked up, but I am trying to forgive myself for it.
She gave him an hour to get out of their house, and she told me that this wasn't over. She stated that she had phone records. but phone records of what?
I have no idea how to proceed. I don't want my bf involved or my parents. | When I was younger I got involved with a married man. After months of no contact his wife insists that we are still involved and has threatened me. |
t3_1mvkgo | relationships | Me[23M] with my GF [23F] 5YR LTR/LDR - How long are breaks supposed to be? | We got into a fight a couple days ago and she said she wanted to take a break and she feels emotionally drained.
I asked her if she meant that she wanted to see other people, she said no. She said she just wanted time away from our relationship because its all she can think about and its draining her mentally.
I asked her what I should do if she talks to me, she said she wouldn't make it hard for the both of us. So I guess that means she won't be the first one to initiate contact.
I asked her what I should do if I want to talk to her, she said sure then talk to her.
It's been probably 3 days. We usually talk from morning to night.
I really miss her already, but I want to give her the space she needs. I also don't want to start talking to her and have her act all cold towards me. How long should I wait to talk to her? Or should I just wait until she talks to me? | Girlfriend asked for a mental break. I miss her and want to talk to her already, but want to give her space. How long are "breaks?" |
t3_2oqeja | offmychest | I had a final due today, but instead I got high.. | So today was the end of my online express semester sociology class. I fucked upped last semester by not finishing a class, and so I was shy 3 credits of graduating. I took this Sociology class because it was available, and easily accessible given my work schedule.
Now, I've been an avid stoner for about 2 years now, and every night after work I pack my bong at least twice. Then I'll do whatever, and smoke more until I go to sleep. Well tonight I followed my usual routine, and packed a couple bowls after work. Then after that I played Pokemon until 12:23AM EST... that was when I realized it was too late to log in for the final. Now I'm kicking myself because I payed out of pocket for this class, and I needed these last few credits!! I emailed the professor and am hoping I can take it at some point today..
I'm not one to generally post, but I had to make a throwaway to tell you all how stupid I am. I FEEL AWFUL. | If you have finals coming up, PLEASE MAKE TIME FOR THEM!!! Don't get high until after you've Aced your tests! |
t3_3leyje | jobs | Whether to mention the real reason for changing one of my previous jobs to a future employer or not? | Dear Reddit Community,
I am currently looking at changing jobs and am not sure whether it would be a good idea to mention the real reason why I changed my previous job in the first place. I could do more harm than good. I would like your opinion on the subject.
Perviously, I was working a job with lesser pay and somewhat financially unstable. However, the work was very interesting. Sadly, my Mother and Brother depend financially on the divorce settlement payed out by my Father, who since then became unemployed. Having a new family of his own, he stopped sending help.
Being the only member with some financial income, I was left with a choice. Stay where I am, have trouble helping them or change jobs to something far less interesting but with a very increased and stable income so that I could help them out. I opted to go for the latter.
Pass forward 1.5 years. My family is almost financially independent and my help is now minimal, leading me to start looking for another job which appeals more to my interests.
What I would like to know is, would you consider this something you would share in an interview or will this, for some reason, put me in a bad light? As in, the only reason I took the job I have now is to pay the bills and nothing more and now I'm finally out to get a job that genuinely interests me?
Thanks | Left my previous awesome job for a more stable higher paid boring job to help family. Family is doing better, need to know if story is appropriate to tell during jobs interviews. |
t3_4lhus5 | relationships | Me [24 F] with a guy [24 M] I was messaging and went on one date with: message from the blue after two and a half months, should I reply and if so say what? | Brief background: met this guy (James) online, messaged for ages but never got round to meeting up. I got sick of this, tried to fade, then he finally scheduled a date - but I ended up accepting a date with the guy who is now my boyfriend (Rory) for the night before, and was blown away, and James in comparison I had no real chemistry with in real life. James obviously felt the opposite way after meeting and got keener, but I kind of did a fade (I know, I'm a bad person) and he seemed to get that and stopped messaging.
I've now been seeing Rory for three months and we're all sickly sweet honeymoon period. Out of the blue I got a very casual message from James, saying it had been ages and how was I doing. There was nothing to outright say no to or point out that I'm happily partnered off now, but not sure if it makes me a total bitch to just ignore him (my gut says it's only polite to reply).
So, should I reply, and if so, what do you think would be a polite way to let him know I'm no longer available? | Went on a date with a guy, faded. He's messaged me months later and I'm happily in a relationship. Do I reply/what do I say? |
t3_45jwk8 | Advice | How should I (17M) go about dating this girl (14F)? | So although I'm a senior (17M) in high school I've never been in an intimate relationship with a girl. I've had many FWB situations but growing up and seeing all the seniors pairing up has made me want a girl of my own.
So I asked a freshman (14F) to the movies the other day. We've been talking a lot via text (I'd rather call her but it's expensive for her), and she seems like a really cool and mature girl despite her age (not to mention she is stunning).
So I think we're on a good road to be in a relationship but the problem is I have no clue how I should or even whether I should try to pursue the sexual side of this relationship because of the age difference. Her parents are very strict as well. Please help! | I (17M) asked a 14 y/o girl to the movies. I don't know how to proceed with relationship and If I should pursue the sexual part of the relationship because of the age difference. |
t3_s589m | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what options does an uninsured person have for dealing with a major medical bill? | So, a little back story. My best friend is an Iraq vet in West Virginia. He was honorably discharged about a year and a half ago. Since then, he's simply been working odd jobs- manual labor, being a bouncer, etc. He's an avid body builder and spends a lot of time in the gym. He never filed his disability paperwork with the VA, and has never been to a VA hospital. He has had no health insurance at all.
About a month ago, he got sick. He couldn't keep fluids down, so he went to the ER for an IV. They thought he had strep, mono, meningitis, and combinations thereof. While he was there he developed a massive sore on his leg. They wrote it off as a bed sore, put him on a large amount of antibiotics, some painkillers and sent him home after a few days in the hospital.
A few days later, he took himself back to the ER because the pain in his leg became unbearable. It turned out he was in shock. They took him straight to the OR where it was discovered he had a MASSIVE bacterial infection in his leg. They pulled out over a gallon of pus and dead tissue. Over the next week he had 3 more surgeries to clean it and if he had waited another day he would have lost his leg. They decided he originally had strep, but it had weakened his immune system. That had allowed this infection (Can't remember the name) to come in and spread, and be misdiagnosed as everything else. He is now out of the hospital, and on bed rest and meds for a month and a half.
He has since received the bill for his hospital stay, surgeries, and meds. Over $200,000.
What the hell can he do to pay this? Are there any services that will cover all or part of it? | Uninsured friend had to go to the hospital, and has over 200k in medical bills but has no idea how to pay it. |
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