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t3_1x1wej | legaladvice | Lost rent due to long construction time. | I am not sure if this is the right way to post this, but here it goes.
I rented out a house in Austin, TX that was struck by lightning in July 2012. Luckily no one was hurt. The tenants made it clear (in writing) that they wanted to move back into the house as soon as possible, but knew there was some construction work that needed to be done first.
After a long battle with the insurance, I hired a construction company and they got started. Or so I thought.
I signed the contract with the construction company in Jan 2013 having been told that the house would be habitable by April (not in writing, unfortunately), but as of the time of this writing construction is ongoing.
For the first 6 months of work, basically nothing happened. I live out of town (but still in Texas), and was led to believe that things were happening when I called to check on the progress. IT is only now that things are happening in the house and construction is moving slowly, but is moving.
In the meantime the tenants have moved elsewhere (which is reasonable). The rent house has been not producing income for the duration of construction.
My question is, would I be able to sue for (or without payment equal to) lost rent due to the construction taking along time? Is that negligence, partial breach of contract, both, neither, etc? The house was an important source of income to me and living without it has been difficult.
Thank you Reddit for helping me out! | Construction company has been "working" on my rent house for almost a year longer than they said they would be when I hired them. I have lost tenants and rent money due to the lengthy construction time. |
t3_xn117 | relationship_advice | [22/f] Returning home after a year abroad, there's conflict between my parents and boyfriend (23/m) concerning my first night back. Help? | My boyfriend and I have been together for about two and a half years. After what will be over a year apart, my boyfriend wants to pick me up at the airport when I arrive and whisk me off to a hotel room where we can have a night completely to ourselves before he has to go back to university (4 hours away). Due to the circumstances, visits after that night/ weekend would be rare: we would remain an LDR, but with less distance.
However, my parents have insisted that my boyfriend drive to their house so that they can drive to the airport together, all meet me together, all drive home together, all eat together, and then all sit and talk together until bed. The only time I would have to be alone with my boyfriend would then be in my parents' house after everyone else had gone to bed.
My boyfriend is very uncomfortable around my parents. The idea of them driving us around has a very childish and awkward feel to it that we both immensely dislike, and we are both very put off by the idea of intimacy in the same house as them. Further, my parents are a bit old fashioned, so my boyfriend and I would be limited in what affection we could show in front of them without it being considered disrespectful (hugs and hand-holding only).
When I told my parents that I'd rather be picked up by and spend the night with my boyfriend, because I only would only have a short time with him while I would have everyday with them ... well, they weren't happy. My mother asserted that, because my boyfriend 'isn't your husband or anything' and they are my parents, they should have the final say. She also thought it was a 'childish and immature' thing for me to want.
I'm caught between wanting to appease my parents and getting proper privacy and alone time with my boyfriend. Any compromise I try to suggest is shot down, and I have no idea what to do. | I'm returning home after a year abroad. Both my parents and boyfriend want time with me the first night back. Going with my boyfriend will hurt my parents, but going with my parents will eliminate the possibility of intimacy. |
t3_2nizyg | relationships | I [28F] can't stand my [28f] best friend anymore. | My best friend became a mum 4 years ago, and again a year and a half ago, which would be fine, but she's not just a mum, she's a crazy mum.
The kind of mum that puts the toddler on the phone, the kind that cancels on every dinner or coffee date, the kind that can't talk about anything other than her childrens poo and dance lessons. She's a shell of the person that I used to know, we have nothing in common anymore.
I had a horrible life event 3 years ago, and she abandoned me, we worked though it and became close again. Then I moved interstate 2 years ago, in the last year I have visited 3 times, and she has cancelled on a catch up each trip. After the last time (an an unanswered half hearted apology text) she knew I was pissed off, and has been at me all guns blazing with wanting to 'save our friendship'...
I don't want to. She's not the same friend, she's not someone I would want to be friends with. I don't know how to push her gently away now, it feels like a breakup with a clingy boyfriend. I can't very well tell her that she's just a nappy changing shell now.
I might sound like I'm coming across as hard on mums, or not understanding - I have four children, the oldest is 8, youngest is 1, so I am a mum as well, but its not my entire being. | Best friend had kids, changed who she was, pushes me out of her life, I want out of the friendship. |
t3_4ho2tn | relationships | Drunkenly slept with ex - what does it mean? | Ex and I are both 21 y/o males in college. We had a thing for 2-3 months and dated briefly for a few weeks.
So my ex and I broke up a few months ago. We tried being friends but eventually I got the hint that it wasn't working and to let it go. So we didn't speak for months and would rarely see each other, only by coincidence or at a mutual friend's. Anyway, we see each other again and we make plans to go out together with mutual friends.
The night we wanted to go out he was already drunk beforehand, and he was under the impression I wouldn't be going out because I had to go to another party for a bit. His drunk texts were a bit emotional in the sense he seemed genuinely disappointed I wouldn't be there. Once we saw each other, he became very flirty and we ended up talking for hours. Eventually we ended up hooking up. I had assumed he had sobered up at this point.
In the morning I heard him get up and use the bathroom and come back to bed. But a little while later he gets up and says "I'm so hung over" but before he leaves says he hopes we'll see each other again soon. We don't talk for a day or so but he ends up snapchatting me.
A couple days later I had to see him for an unrelated reason and he was trying to bring up the night we hooked up. He kept talking about how drunk he was and would say things like "oh, did we talk about this?" whenever I would mention something we talked about that night. Later I texted him asking if we could meet and talk about that night and he agreed. We'll be meeting later today.
I didn't want anything in particular to come out of the hook up - I didn't even think much about it - but was it just a drunken mistake on his part? I felt we had broken down some barriers by being able to talk and hang out for so long, but him emphasizing how drunk he was kinda makes it feel like we're back to where we were before where things were awkward and we hardly spoke. | Drunkenly hooked up with ex after a few months. He kept emphasizing how drunk he was later. Does this mean it was just a drunken mistake? |
t3_2bsicl | relationships | Me [15 M] with my ex-girlfriend [16 F] of a year, had an intimate moment with each other a few days ago, I feel just empty now. | So, me and my ex have been done for a good amount of time, about a year. We had a falling out after we broke up, and we patched up our relationship, we became really close friends. She got with a new guy, and he really doesn't like me because of the things I said about her during our falling out, and he's just an asshole, but she loves him and it's not my place to stand between that. Well, sometimes she came to me upset about her relationship with her, and I would comfort her, and we would become even closer because of that. So the other day, he dumped her because she wanted to hang out with me seeing that we made plans to hang out a while back , and he just showed up last minute asking to hang out. I comforted her, and we kind of poured out our emotions to each other, and we got intimate (kissing, hugging, etc.) and we flirted for the next few days, but now she told me she's gotten back with him, because she want's to give him another chance, even though he's pushed her away multiple times, to the point of tears, and then when she's crying, he comes crawling back with "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean what I said take me back" and it works every time. Right now, I'm just feeling so empty, because what happened that day, was just very real emotionally for me. She asked if we can still be friends but, I don't know what to do. | Ex-Girlfriend went through falling out, became close friends, she got dumped because of me, shared an intimate relationship, got back with the guy who dumped her, now I feel empty. |
t3_2r4k6r | relationships | My [29M] gf [32F] constantly complains about her job's time off policy | My gf and I have been dating for a little over a year, and she's been at her current job for going on a year. She started as a temp and was hired on full time around late March. Her job's vacation / PTO policy is insanely ridiculous, in that all vacation requests for the following year must be submitted by October of current year. She requested some time off in various weekends to do some traveling we'd like to do, as she has other interests with music that simply do not pay the bills by themselves. The problem is that her company's allowance for time off is absurd. There are roughly 100 employees in her department, and only 4 are allowed off on any given day. We did the math and based on the number of people that work there, how much time they can use given their seniority (some have been there as long as 25 years), there simply is not enough time available for everyone to use all their time. It's a ridiculously unfair and unethical practice, on top of having mandatory overtime several days a week. She ends up working 50 hour weeks, is denied all time off requests she's put in SEVERAL months in advance, and is actively seeking a new job.
While she's looking for a new job, she's getting more and more depressed in this current situation. She has a bachelors degree in psych, but its very hard for her to find anything in her field. She's done call center work and some retail, she doesn't really have any marketable skills in her field or experience to find a job in her field. It's been one entry level job after another just getting by. Ultimately what she wants to do is pursue a career with concert promoting / booking / artist relations and I've told her its not easy to get into. She's made quite a name for herself in street team work, flyering, onine promoting, etc. I want her to be successful, and I've tried to be supportive and understanding while she complains about how unfair things are at her job. What can I do to help her further her desires, or how can I help steer her in the right direction? | Girlfriend's job overworks her, denies all time off, she's struggling to find a new job that treats her better, leading her to be depressed and miserable. Not sure how else I can help her. |
t3_3k58om | relationships | Girlfriend was kissed on a bachelorette party. Deal breaker? | Throwaway.
Ok. So I've been dating a woman for about 6 months now. She's (34/f) incredible. Everything I wanted. From the get go, we just fit together. We've travelled around a bunch, share tons of interests, etc. I can honstly say I've never felt this way about someone before (I'm 30, divorced, no stranger to relationships).
So regardless, we were on a trip to the UK for a wedding. She went off for the stagette party with all the girls and I went to the stag with the boys. While out, a bartender kissed her. She told me this right away when she got home, but neglected to tell me that she knew he was going to and didn't stop him. This kiss was a peck on the lips. No making out, but once I found out she knew about it, I was upset. We talked about it, I thought it was done. I figured it was water under the bridge.
Fast forward to a week later (two days ago) and I run into 2 friends that were there the week earlier. We got together that night, had too many drinks, and one of them had to clear their conscience and tell me that this had happened. I told her I knew about it and it was fine. She says it wasnt, that it was completely unnecessary, made the party very awkward, and that she was concerned I was being manipulated.
I took this very badly. I was not in a good state (read : blackout drunk) and immediately called and had a discussion with my girlfriend. Not a nice one. I said some hurtful things in an attempt to make her feel the way I was feeling. Mission accomplished. I crushed her. I feel terrible.
I talked with her today (very difficult, she's home now and I'm still abroad, 9 hr time difference). She is very upset. She had just told me she loved me the week before, and now I've hurt her. I can't express how I'm feeling. The kiss did hurt me, but retaliation is not the answer. I did something as bad or worse. I really want to fix this
How? | Girlfriend went out on a baclorette party. Bartender gave her a peck on the lips. She knew it was coming. She told me right away. Deal breaker? |
t3_33jlqj | relationships | My friends [23F],[23M] together several years, should not be getting married. | Two of my close friends are getting married in a few months. They are absolutely perfect for each other, however, neither of them is in a good enough emotional state to be taking this step. The girl in particular is having an incredibly hard time dealing with it. She often tells her fiancé that she doesn't want to get married. He wants kids, she doesn't. I think he thinks he can convince her otherwise. She has very bad, unexplained, body issues. Both of them hate their careers. Besides all this, their families have essentially taken over planning the wedding (not that she was interested in doing any of it anyway), but it's stressing them out and making them more miserable.
My question is, what can I do to help? These two people are absolute soulmates and they will be together forever no matter what. I'm just worried that by rushing into this right now without dealing with their problems first, they're going to struggle for a very long time. Ideally, I'd like to see them go to both individual and couple's counseling. But how do I tell them this? I am the perpetually single member of our group of friends, so no one in their right mind ever listens to me about relationship things. | How do I get my friends to get their butts to counseling to sort out their problems *before* getting married? |
t3_1ly2ol | dating_advice | Trying to date a girl and need advice | Hello everyone, I've never asked for this kind of advice before so please bare with me here. Quick back-story: (M 20) college junior, only had one short relationship before, which ended 4 months ago cause she cheated.
So I met a new freshman girl in one of my classes and got her number by asking if she wanted to study sometime, we studied once this week and I realized I would like to try dating her, so today I texted her and the following is what we said (don't worry it's short)
Me: hey, this is kinda random but wanna go get some breakfast?
no response
Me (some time later): Ok, I went ahead and took that as a no
no response for a long time
Her: Sorry, my roommate and I went hiking.
Me: Oh no worries, that sounds fun though
no response
I already know my second text was a mistake, but I just can't tell if she is interested at all cause she acts kind of timid in person, and I haven't a clue what to do next. I'm probably just being dumb, but never the less, Any ideas reddit? | New girl doesn't text me much and I messed up a little too, is she into me though? and what the hell do I do next? |
t3_2gutc9 | relationships | I (21F) do not know if I am in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend (22m) of 5 years. All I know is that I am sad all the time. | We have been dating since high school. Its been about 5 years now. We have had our fair share of problems but nothing to this extent. I recently moved in with him and our problems only seem to get worse. We have a disagreement and he starts to get loud. He hisses and flares his nostrils and when he feels Im not listening, he will grab me by my wrists and shake me. When I try to leave because things have escalated, he yanks me by the arm and shoves me back only to continue yelling. He always says Im not going to run away and I should listen and respect him. He even reached the point of doing this in public and whenever someone steps in and asks if everything is okay, he would put on a mask and later yell at me because I made him look bad. I know I mess up sometimes and get mad or over react to things, but do I really deserve this? Is this what a relationship will be like once I moved in and get married? I'm not exactly too sure what to do in this case. I have nowhere else to go. My mother told me that once I move in with a man, its not the same and I have to put up with anything he does. Is she right? | Boyfriend likes to get violent with me. Mother said to put up with it since Im living with him. What do I do? |
t3_4xknhk | relationships | Me [20 M] and my (ex?) girlfriend [21 F] of 6 months are taking time apart so she can "take time to think" | Long story short, my girlfriend, who I've been seeing since October, but officially dating for about 6 months, interpreted my text of "Then I can't stick around" as me breaking up with her, even though that was not my intention and I texted her 20 minutes later saying "I'm crazy about you, I just need you to be honest with me", and other things to make it seem like that was untrue.
This all sprung from a lie she told me that I called her out on, but she refused to explain it to me, so then I sent that text above. I have since moved past this lie, because it doesn't matter I suppose.
Now, that was last Friday, and through the weekend I've been texting her trying to make things right, etc. She calls me Monday saying "I need time to think" in terms of our relationship and if she wants to continue it. It is now Saturday (a week later from since this started).
I called her a few days after this call on Monday, and she said she still needs more time, that it's okay for me to see other people, but she won't see other people. She says it's not fair to not allow me to see other people right now. During this time, I saw something on her facebook that was a little flirty with another guy, and now I'm just paranoid.
She says she's still in love with me, but it's been days, and shes been really distant. I really do expect a full-on breakup, so I have been preparing for this. I just would like to hear some opinions.
Am I thinking too much about this? From what she said, should I assume she has shown interest in someone and is waiting to see where that goes?
The last text I sent her was heartfelt, and there has since been no response, so I am going to leave her alone until this upcoming Monday or Tuesday, because I don't know if I can wait anymore. | girlfriend of 6 months needs "time to think" about continuing our relationship; says its ok for me to see other people right now but she won't see other people; am I overthinking? What's your opinion? |
t3_1ibsa2 | AskReddit | If the hospital I went to messed up my hand, what should I do? | Back in March I broke my left middle finger(dog accident), and I had to keep it in a buddy-tape with my index finger. The nurse who did it forgot to put something between them, so the skin rubbed off between the fingers, and the bone didn't heal at all. This left my middle finger still bent, and the skin had rubbed entirely off around the joint, and was rotting.
I got a surgery in April to get screws(which I've recently learned can be taken out a year or so after the operation), and I'm still doing exercises to ensure that I can bend it fully. It has some permanent nerve damage around the incision, and having the stitches removed was so painful that the hand specialist who performed the surgery said that some people pass out from the pain.
It took me quite some time just to be able to bend it somewhat like the other fingers, and I've managed to bend it fully since about a week ago. All of this could have been avoided if the original nurse had correctly put my finger in a buddy-tape. I also learned that I was not the first person that this happened too(one of my closest friends went through the same malarky).
What I'm asking is whether or not I should attempt to sue them? Their own insurance representative called and sent a letter asking to see my medical documents. They haven't responded in about three weeks since then. | I broke my finger and the hospital made it much worse than it should have been. should I get money for pain and suffering? |
t3_1udzdm | pettyrevenge | Small revenge on a prankster | Apologies for incoming wall of text.
So I work at a paper mill, and used to be in a department in the mill that would recycle card board bales. My leadman at the time, who we will call "B" is the kind of guy who likes to joke around, talk trash, and pull pranks. Nothing bad or malicious. Just the kind of stuff that makes you say "oh god dammit" when it happens. For example, turning off the fuel for a forklift any time i'd leave it unattended. Or calling me up pretending to be a supervisor and sending me on pointless errands. Or saying how I could only dream of being as good as him at my job in a joking manner. You know just shit talk or dumb pranks. And ive never been the type to talk shit back or retaliate to pranks.
Well I got transferred to a new job where I work by myself running a piece of equipment for a paper making machine. This job offers me a lot of freedom to be my own boss, just as long as my work is done by the end of shift. Well tonight I haven't had a lot going on, so I decided to go visit B and some of the other guys in that department. We talk and shoot the breeze for awhile. B gets up to go do some work while I continue visiting. When I'm done visiting I leave to get in my vehicle to go back to my area. I find that my vehicle has been lifted and had 1 ft blocks put under all 4 wheels. And that the seat is soaked in water. And of course as I'm trying to get my vehicle off the blocks and dry my seat he drives by just howling with laughter. I've figured its time for some payback. So I took some grease, the type used to lubricate heavy duty industrial equipment and coated the door handle on his truck, as well as the shifter knob and the back of his steering wheel. Nothing damaging just a little messy and inconvenient when its time to go home. I plan on going and watching his reaction to this prank, so I'll update later ;-) | co-worker pranks me by immobilizing my work vehicle, I prank him back by coating door handle, steering wheel, and shifter of his personal vehicle in super heavy duty grease |
t3_2qxjyp | relationships | Me [25 M] with my __Ex_ [24 F] of 10 months, broken up for 4 months, deleted me from skype after my birthday. Feeling a little affected by it? Is this normal?? | Dear redditors,
So my last gf broke up with me 4 months ago. On the 20th, i bumped into her but we didn't talked. Acted like strangers and went on our own ways, were with a couple of friends. 23rd Dec was my birthday and the following day on Christmas eve, i realised that she deleted me from skype. We used to talk a lot on skype during working hours.
Was a little affected and sad by it. Is it normal to feel this way? I thought that i was making good progress moving on, but my feelings kinda make me doubt myself. Advice??? | Is it normal to feel affected by your ex deleting you from any social media? It's been 4 months post break up and had been in no contact. Advice very much appreciated! |
t3_25rh77 | relationships | Me [17F] with my boyfriend [18M] of a year and a half, wish I could help him get over his insecurity and my mistake. | So my boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We definitely love each other, and really really want to be together for all our lives. However, he's massively insecure, but won't really admit it, and ends up blaming me for it. He's constantly checking in on who I'm talking to/hanging out with, making sure I'm not overly touchy feely, etc.
To explain: before we went out, I was incredibly flirtatious. I flirted with pretty much everyone I saw, not seriously, but because it was fun and I could. When we started dating, I stopped completely. However, there was one instance in which I messed up. A while back, I flirted with this one guy, but afterwards, I didn't hide it from my bf, I straight up told him. He got incredibly upset, called me a whore a few times, said I hate you more than once, basically just counted the one instance of flirtation as a massive betrayal. Since then, I've done my absolute best to make amends, not talking to that guy again, not talking to any guy, really, in depth, and I've been showing my bf how much I really love him and don't mean to betray him in any way through my actions and words.
Here's the thing, though: he still holds that incident in the back of his mind, ready to emerge at the slightest provocation, and uses it when we argue about how some of his behavior is controlling and restrictive. Yes, I acknowledge that I messed up, but I've been trying to fix it ever since it happened, and I never even meant anything by it in the first place. So is there anything I can do to fix it completely? Or is he somewhat wrong? I'm just looking to fix it, I really hate having this hang over us. Thanks. | boyfriend was already mildly insecure, then I lightly flirted with one guy once and have been trying to make amends ever since. boyfriend still is upset about it though. how do I fix it completely? |
t3_lqldt | AskReddit | I've seldom dreamed about how other people around the world experience daily life until now. Thoughts? | So what brought this question to mind was actually very simplistic. I had been browsing youtube when I came across [this] and it made me think really hard. I grew up with Pokemon in the US and was pretty loyal to the series. To me, I had always pictured something as simple as the title song as well.. American. Regardless of the obvious Japanese influence, I was young and didn't know any better.
Until I saw this video, I hadn't thought about how others may have experienced the show. It's very likely that the people in France watching the above video had experienced it the same way as I did and I'm just seeing things. But maybe, just maybe, they experienced it in a totally different way. Maybe Ash Ketchum was not the main character in their eyes, but rather, he was just another trainer. Who knows.
And that's why I'm posting it here, because I'm positive that someone who's French or any other nationality for that matter, can shed some light on this. Haven't you ever wondered about others? Are people really that different, or are we the same? Just food for thought. | I saw a French version of the Pokemon theme song and it got me really thinking about other societies in other parts of the world. |
t3_35mp9q | relationships | Me [30 M] sortof dating [27 F] for 8 weeks, having trouble due to her previous horrible relationship | So I've recently started dating a girl who, 6 months ago, left an awful relationship with a sociopath who emotionally abused and manipulated her for around 6 years, and she's having trouble feeling comfortable dating.
I don't know him and haven't met him, from what I know he lives far outside our city and is out of the picture. She hasn't spoken to him since she left and I'm pretty convinced she has no intention to ever again.
He would hit on girls in front of her, tell her she's worthless, insult and say hurtful things and then when she had had enough turn around and be sweet and kind enough to get her back... He sounds like a class A asshole.
She actually seems to be doing well despite all of that and is moving on quite well from what I can see. She doesn't seem to be angry at him, and I think this was basically just a long time coming, and at this point in time the relationship has been over 8 odd months, we've been dating 6-7 weeks.
Unfortunately though, she has trouble being comfortable around me, she only came round my apartment to have dinner/movie for the first time 7-8 weeks after we met and started dating. We haven't done anything other than kiss and although I'd like to progress further I'm patient and am doing everything I can not to pressure her into anything. She's commented before how wonderful I am how patient, etc so hopefully I'm not doing anything out of order.
What I'd really like is any advice at all on dating someone in her position or anything anyone can tell me that might help her be more at ease and comfortable with me... I've not dated anyone in her position before and would like to hear some advice.
To clarify again, I'm not asking 'how can I get this girl to have sex with me' I'm asking 'how or what can I do to help her feel at ease/be comfortable dating me'. | girl seems to be somewhat anxious while dating me, physical contact, due to past traumatic relationship, what can I do to put her at ease, or what can help? Any advice appreciated. |
t3_41gp2c | relationships | Said "I love you" without return... | I (20F) told my boyfriend (19) of 3+ months (known each other for ~1 yr) that I loved him tonight, and he didn't say it back. I've felt it for a while, but didn't want to say it too soon or something, and wanted to wait until a moment felt right.
Tonight he was at my apartment, I made dinner, we were cuddling and watching Netflix after. He whispered in my ear and told me that I was really cute(it's a mushy thing we both do to each other), and I did it back but told him I loved him. He didn't say it back, just kissed me and kept holding me. He had to leave for work fairly soon after, so we didn't talk about it then. I texted him later apologizing for catching him off guard, but that I wanted him to know how I feel and that life is too short to hide love. He said "I definitely agree with your reasoning."
I know that different people need different amounts of time to feel love, and I don't need to hear it back until he feels the same (assuming he eventually does). But it still stings that I made myself vulnerable like that only to be rejected(in a way). Any words of encouragement or wisdom on how to not feel too insecure after something like this? | told bf I loved him, didn't hear it back, but I understand. Just trying to not feel too insecure after making myself vulnerable. |
t3_11472d | offmychest | Made out with my friend, feel horrible: now what? | So, I travelled to visit my female friend for the weekend. We've known each other for several years now. For a majority of that time we were dating other people. It's been a year since our relationships both ended and since then we've only hung out once or twice due to the fact I now live about 3 hours away. We hit it off the first time, but I didn't think much of it.
Anyway, we drank a bit too much the other night and we went all the way. Now I feel like shit. I know she has had bad luck with guys leading her on thinking they wanted relationships, then once they committed to that and got what they wanted they ignored her and stopped speaking to her. I don't want her to think I'm doing the same thing. I still plan on talking to her, of course, but I don't know how to overcome the awkwardness of the situation.
I didn't wake up until late in the afternoon. By that time she started her long shift at work and she'll be there for a few more hours. I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to talk to her this evening or before I leave in the morning.
Ultimately, I feel horrible. If it was just a one time thing, I'm cool with that. If she wants more than that, that's cool, too. But I feel it should be addressed so she doesn't think I'm being one of those guys she has dealt with in the past.
But not knowing if I will have the chance to discuss this with her makes me worry that the issue will be ignored and lead to possible problems. And since I live a distance away, I won't be seeing her again for a little bit and bringing it up via internet chat or text seems kind of cold, even more awkward.
So yeah, I feel like I fucked up and by not having the chance to gauge her reaction to it. In the end, we either fucked up our friendship or she wants me to take the next step, but we won't have the chance to talk about it leading to her feeling negatively towards me. | Made out with a close friend. Not sure if I ruined our friendship and haven't had the chance to gauge the reaction to the situation since I haven't seen her all day due to work. |
t3_1g0tmx | self | That isn't my name, thanks | For whatever reason my parents decided to call me by my middle name. I still don't get it, because if they liked that name so much more then why didn't they just make it my first name? They've never given me a clear answer, and I've never been able to figure it out. Anyways, the whole "which name do I use" think always confused the shit out of me. Explaining why I didn't go by my first name to almost everyone annoyed the shit out of me. So about freshman year of high school, I started using my first name more. People really like it, which was great because I never liked my middle name at all. Far too common and I never met someone I liked with that name. So I started using that name more and more. It was really weird at first hearing a different name. At first only some people used it.
By time freshman year of college rolled around, it became normal. I was well used to it, and it really felt like my name then. It was great, everyone used that name. Well, most everyone. My family refuses to use it. I've asked them, and get "No, I'd feel like you were a different person then" "I'm not used to using that name so I'm not going to" and other similar bullshit excuses. Everyone else I know had no problem with the whole name change thing. It makes my life so much simpler now because I have one name and one name only to go by. Except with my family. And its annoying. They gave it zero effort. Refused to even acknowledge it at all. And they get mad when I don't respond right away to my middle name. It isn't me anymore. I've grown out of recognizing that name, yet they are still stuck on it. And its really awkward when I'm introduced to someone, because they'll introduce me by my middle name, and I'll ALWAYS have to correct them to my first name. Every single time. Then I'll have to go back with the whole middle name story thing, and I'm still explaining why I use my middle name to everyone. | I've stopped using my middle name and now use my first (and middle initial) but my family refuses to acknowledge the change at all. It really annoys me, and makes for awkward situations. |
t3_fsz4o | AskReddit | Any stories where "slapstick" unfolds before your eyes? I have one.. | I'm not sure if slapstick is the right word, but here is my story..
One otherwise unremarkable day, my friend and I were exiting his house to have a cigarette (probably) and he stops to grab something from the fridge. He hunches over, searching for something to consume.
I should add that this friend of mine is a bit portly and has his shorts sagging a little. This is relevant to what happens in the following few, savory seconds.
What I witness next remains to be one of the greatest things I have ever seen which may be a testament to how mundane the past 22 years have been for me. My friend straightens his spine, unaware of the precious memory he is about to grant me. He hits his head on the inside of the fridge on the way up. The force of this ripples his chubby body's flesh and his shorts fall to the ground, not unlike the fall of velvety curtains unveiling something grand.
My friends, the sight of a heavyset man hitting his head, something ALREADY funny, only to have his shorts fall down from the impact and him proceeding to rub his head whilst struggling to pull his shorts up was enough to put me in stitches for an hour or so. I probably stopped laughing from pure exhaustion This was followed by days of giggle aftershocks and recounting the story to EVERYONE. | My fat friend bumped his head on a fridge, causing his shorts to fall and me to be okay with the world. |
t3_43tpa5 | relationships | I [19f] am being judged and criticized by my friend and housemate [19m] about having a tinder account and meeting guys | Background: I never got a lot attention from boys in high school, and while my friends were starting to date and find boyfriends, I was left playing video games and becoming "one of the guys". I have an incredibly high libido but I was too scared to pursue boys due to fear of being slut shamed. After 4 years of waiting I decided to say fuck it, take initiative and made a Tinder account.
My friend, let's call him Mark, has been openly critical and sometimes downright rude about my "Tinder dates." This has been brought up several times when we're hanging out with our buddies and the topic turns (expectantly) to our sex lives.
In the month that I've had tinder, I've met a few dudes and hooked up with a couple. I have no problem with it, more power to me, etc, etc. I'm having fun, no one is getting hurt. Except Mark who gets offended and calls me out on it, saying I was easy and my hookups with other guys are "disgusting." I'm normally a calm person but this absolutely infuriated and hurt me, since he was talking (bragging) about his sexual conquests as well, making him seem extremely hypocritical, in my opinion. I've since stopped talking about personal things with him, but I am still pretty angry.
The problem is that we will be living together next year, and I don't know how to proceed because he said some pretty hurtful things and continuing our friendship would be pretty difficult. | Friend is saying rude and hurtful things about the fact that I have a tinder account, don't know how to proceed with our friendship |
t3_hn709 | AskReddit | Need advice on what I can do/say to stop stripper girlfriend from using drugs at work. | I've been seeing a stripper for about 5 months now, and she told me yesterday that she and the other girls had a hectic night on cocaine while at work about a week ago. It's the first time she'd tried anything other than weed - but she did so much that the inside of her nose is quite sore and a little scabby. I don't so much care about this as not all that long ago I was an avid user... but what worries me is that apparently there is a resident dealer that gives the girls gear for 'free'... and we all know of course that nothing, least of all coke, is free.
A lot of the girls ended up taking clients home that night, and one of my biggest concerns is that she could have done the same and having seen some of the fuckwits that frequent the establishment she works at, I'm more worried that she could have left with someone abusive.
Another concern I have is with this dealer, who i think is friends with the manager or something. The venue she works at as well as having a strip club is an escort service - now they're two separate entities, but I'm afraid that she'll accumulate a debt with this guy, she'll be forced into escorting to pay off what she though she was getting for free.
We kind of spoke about it, but i didn't want to flat out say "No, you can't do that" as that would be highly hypocritical of me... but after this, I get the sense that she's easily swayed by peer pressure and it will no doubt happen again.
I was just hoping Reddit might be able to offer some suggestions as to what I can say or how I can handle this... as not only am I afraid of what might happen to my girlfriend, I'm afraid of what I might do to this dealer and the manager if my worst fears eventuate into reality. | Stripper girlfriend had a big night on cocaine at work and I'm afraid of what might happen if it becomes a regular thing. |
t3_2wbrme | tifu | TIFU by buying break up flowers | obligatory this is from a few years back...
So during a rough patch in my relationship (fighting more often than usual whether I did something stupid or she was being irrational) I decided to be a good boyfriend and buy her flowers and apologize for whatever we were fighting about that day. When I arrived, I gave her the flowers and started to apologize. She somehow took that to mean that I wanted to argue more and was trying to "shame her into feeling bad by being the better person." I took this as the last straw and broke up with her on the spot.
A year or so later, we decide to try our relationship again dated for several years and I decide to propose. I decide to buy some flowers to make the date more romantic. Keep in mind, I hadn't bought her or anyone else flowers since the infamous break up flowers. She showed up to the restaurant to find me there standing with a bouquet and she breaks down sobbing and asking why I hate her and why I want to break up with her, leaving me to propose in the lobby of the restaurant with her sobbing and everyone around us being confused and uncomfortable.
But on the plus side we are now happily married and I never have to buy flowers again. | brought flowers to break up with my SO, got back together, brought them to propose and she thought I was dumping her again |
t3_feglz | AskReddit | question regarding international customer and shipping | i feel like im targetted for a scam with this recent sale ive made, ill copy and paste the ebay message so you guys can tell me if i should go through with this transaction or not, the payment has already been sent to me but i havent transferred it to my bank account because i really dont trust what this guy wants me to do
"hello! I'm Lucas, i pay for your oxygen! I'm from Brazil but I am traveling to Orlando next month, please send to my hotel, the address is on paypal!!!! Thank you and good luck"
the guy is from brazil and the address he has sent me is actually a hotel, he has buyer feedback already, but i just dont trust what hes asking me to do, too many loopholes "oh the hotel returned to sender" "someone stole my package since it was there for a month i want a refund" i messaged him back asking for his address in brazil, id feel more comfortable sending it there, if i decide to go through with this i want to make sure im not gonna get screwed, anyone want to suggest anything? | some brazilian guy bought my midi keyboard off ebay and wants me to mail it to a hotel he will be staying at in america a month from now... should i do it? |
t3_srs9y | running | I've avoided running for all of my adult life because of shin splints. Just learned/heard of VFF and protected 'barefoot' running. For the first time ever, I'm excited about the prospect of going for a run. Where can I get a good beginners tutorial about form and whatnot? | First off, yes, I'm planning to start slow. :-) Those are the first words out of everyone's mouth... I'm starting to believe you.
About me... I'm new to running but not new to exercise. I'm an avid mountain biker and respectably quick... I can knock out a 10 mile trail ride in about an hour and ride 2 or 3 times a week. That being said, I'm a big guy... 6'4" / 285. I'd love to drop about 50 pounds off of that (but that's more of a benefit than a goal).
In high school I was on our field team, so I had to run practice with the track team. This was fairly agonizing because it meant basically semesters with my shins on fire. The pain is in my tibialius anterior muscle (the big muscle front and center on the shin... the one you use mostly if you want to lift your foot 'up'). Repeated exercise makes it worse not better, and there seems to be no amount of 'starting slow' that avoids the pain.
Honestly, I am only interested in trail running. I love the trail on two wheels, and I'd like to try it on two feet. Street running in suburbia doesn't inspire me... but I may be willing to give it some time while I 'start slow'. I'm not sure how much I'll enjoy driving to the trail for a very short run. | mountain biker wants to try trail running in vibrams. need a good tutorial or instructions so I don't hurt myself. |
t3_1d7iru | relationships | My girlfriend (f,24) just got a job as a airline hostess and I (m,23) don't really know how to deal with it. | I've been dating this girl for a little over two years now and we've had our share of fights and one major breakup at the point where we were so tired of each other and tired of the fights but we ended up working things out and things seemed pretty good now. She's currently still working on getting her degree in Business Administration, and awaiting a transfer to a university but I feel like she might not finish, now that she got the job. I am at the point where I feel like the relationship might not work due to the new job and the distance. I worry about her constantly because she's had some incidents in the past that I would categorize as "irresponsible thinking." I feel like me worrying would only get worse when she's abroad, and I don't know if I can put myself through that emotional stress. I understand that it's something she has wanted to do for a very long time.
(Some Background)
Before we started dating we've been friends for like 6 years and there was always "something there" although we ended up dating other people. And one day both of us were single and we went out, hit it off, and started dating. Out of all the girls that I've dated, I don't think I've cared about anyone as much as I care about her.
*I want to be supportive and congratulate her but I don't know what else to do about it. Sorry for the jumbled words. *She told my friend about it and she said she was afraid of telling me she got the job based on how she remembers I reacted to it when she first applied. *Friend told me that that she was trying to figure out a way to tell me, if it counts for anything. *She doesn't know that I know that she got the job. | I have issues with her airline job due to insecurities stemming from previous relationships and personal experience with long distance relationships not working. |
t3_1xu9ap | relationships | I saw my v.day gift on accident and she found out, what to do? [25M, 28F; 6 months] | I walked into her apartment during lunch and saw my gift on the kitchen counter, a small stuffed animal with some chocolates and a card and she found out.
She doesn't make a lot of money but this year is the first time she's been able to buy anything for anyone and was excited to surprise me but I ruined it.
I have a whole day planned out for lunch, adventure, and dinner, not to mention the flowers and a gift. I want to somehow make her feel like I didn't ruin it but it's one of those things where I feel like the harder I work the worse it will be, but I can't pretend like it didn't happen. I sometimes write her poetry and short letters that I leave out for her to see so I am thinking about trying to turn it around and include it in a poem somehow.
Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? My heart blew up when I saw it because I knew it would have made her so happy to give it to me tomorrow. | Saw my v.day gift. Poor, excited girlfriend sad to discover I accidentally saw it during lunch today. What do I do to make her effort still matter? |
t3_3lm4v3 | relationships | Me [20 M]: best way to ask to be FWB with [20 F] in a complex situation? | Hello reddit! I need advice. I realise there are many posts about FWB's here, but I feel like my situation might be slightly more complicated.
This girl and I have had a very ambiguous friendship (you know the kind, with sexual tension and laughter all the time) for years, and one night, months ago, after copious amounts of wine, we slept together.
However, due to the fact we lived some 1000 miles apart, we reluctantly (or I least i was reluctant) decided not to go any further. A relationship isn't necessarily what I want, but she moved significantly closer to me in early september, and I've been toying with the idea of being FWB with her since then.
I know ultimately no one can give a clear and/or perfect answer to this, as everyone is different ("as always, ask your partner" seems to be the go to answer these days), but I was hoping some of you might be able to guide me towards a sensible, considerate way to present the question to her: I know she's fine with the concept of FWB, but I'm not sure how to approach it.
I understand I have to ask, and "man up" if you will, I'd just like your insight on what might be the better ways of going about it.
Ladies of reddit, how would you like this to be addressed if it were you? Guys, have you got any tips on how I should approach the idea with her? | Which do you think are the best ways to approach the FWB idea with someone with whom you've slept (months ago), after having had an ambiguous friendship for years? |
t3_hb596 | self | god damn this old computer | I'm on an old mac book pro. Well, the first mac book pro. The display is busted. I have it hooked up to an external monitor that I opted out to buy instead of a new computer. Today was my day off so I decided to download Left4Dead. I've played the half life 2 ports so I assumed (very stupidly) that it L4D would work just fine. Well, after waiting for the game to download ALL DAY because of my shitty fucking connection (6 hour download time? yeah right.) Well now it's 4:30 in the morning and I stayed up to play this game, even though it was supposed to be done yesterday at 3pm and low and behold I don't have the right OS to play the game. Well I didn't update to Snow Leapord before because my cd rom was busted but I came this close to downloading it a second ago just to play the game. 2 hour download time... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
sorry guys. Just had to write this out
/rant | stayed up all night waiting for a game to download. my computer is a piece of shit and can't play it. |
t3_1c5usg | relationship_advice | Should I move in with my girlfriend? | I really don't know how to decide this so I'm looking to you redditors for guidance! By the title you can guess what my question is. Long story short, my girlfriend currently lives with her mother who drives her absolutely insane. I'm talking breakdowns and rage fits on a weekly basis. Her mother is the only person that I know that has the power to do this to her because she's absolutely an amazing person and easy to be with on all other accounts. Her mother keeps telling her she needs to move out but that's not really a possibility because we live in New York City and rent is not cheap. Her only options are moving to a bad neighborhood or trying to find a roommate or studio. Both options she really does not want to do. Also, she had a sizable amount of dept to pay on her student loans which also holds her down as far as what she can afford.
I currently live with my parents. I have it really good my parents are great they really do not bother or cause me any stress. I'm saving money to, hopefully, one day buy something of my own. There is really no good reason for me to move out other than finding out if that's something my gf and I would be able to do.
She hasn't once mentioned us moving in together or tried to push me to move out with her (which I truly respect and admire) but I know if I brought it up she would absolutely love the idea. I'm just not sure if it makes sense for me. On one hand I really like this girl, we've been dating over a year, and she's someone I can see myself being with long-term. So I guess it makes sense to just go for it and see if we can co-exist. On the other hand, I won't be able to save as much money as I currently am (I'll still be able to save, just not as much).
Thoughts? | GF Has Crazy Mom who wants her to move out/I'm living home with parents saving to buy condo/really like this girl and would like to see if we could co-exist. |
t3_3i74w9 | relationships | Me 24F with my Ex-Boyfriend 24M, dated for few months 4 years ago, he has Leukemia. | Hey. I'll try to keep this short. I'm having a hard time seeing the situation objectively, and would like some advice.
We'll call him Richard, and I broke up about 4 and a half years ago. We hadn't dated very long when he moved away for school. We decided to call it off. It was amicable. After this I started dating my current boyfriend, We'll call him Chandler. We'll have been dating for 4 years this fall. We're very happy.
Through out this time, Richard has made it very clear that he still has strong feelings for me. Because of this I've kept him at a distance as not to put any strain on my relationship with Chandler.
Recently, Last July, Richard contacted me saying he was sick and wanted to hang out. He didn't know what was ailing him yet, but was nervous. He promised he just needed a friend. His engagement just fell through as well, so he was feeling extra vulnerable. Chandler, not being the jealous type, agreed that being a shoulder for Richard was the right thing to do.
This arrangement quickly went south as his feelings towards me were not well hidden and I felt like I was being sneaky, even though I was keeping Chandler well informed. It ended with Richard leaving me a message confessing his love and asking me to leave Chandler. We hadn't talked since..
Until today. Richard found out he has Leukemia, he wants to talk. | My ex-boyfriend, who still loves me, just found out he has Leukemia. How do I handle this without straining my current relationship? What is the right thing to do? |
t3_453qsu | relationship_advice | This girl [17f] I've been talking to wants to have sex with me [18m] | So just last week I started talking to a girl from my hometown over twitter off a dare from my buddy. Anyways over the course of the week I mentioned that I'd be coming back for reading week this coming Friday and she instantly brought up us going out and the possibility of us having sex, even though she is a virgin. As a virgin myself I was surprised I didn't immediately jump at this opportunity but she has also constantly brought up us starting a relationship even though I have EXPLICITY told that I can't seeing as I live far away for school and I have already tried long distance which failed miserably. Anyways I'm basically wondering what I should do because even though I would love to see her over the course of my break I'm very worried about her becoming even more emotionally attached to me than she already is as I cannot continue a relationship with her while living away for college. | Girl from hometown wants to date/have sex when I come back for break I do as well but I'm worried about her becoming attached to me. |
t3_3ra5ie | tifu | TIFU by wearing pants to work | Okay so in my previous job, I used to wear a suit everyday. I've been in my new job for around a year and as we're a tech company, the dress code is pretty much whatever you want. Today in Australia, there's a big horse race on. Everyone gets real dressed up, starts drinking at 12pm and bands together around a big screen TV at a pub or bar to yell at a bunch of horses running around a track.
So as to be involved in the festivities, I thought I'd suit up today. It's been quite a while since I've been in a full suit.
As I get out of my Uber to work this morning, I hear a massive rip!! From my balls to my lower back!
"Fuccckkkk!!" Is what I yell as the Uber drives off.
Now I'm at work and my attire has built in air conditioning out the back. Everyone can see my red undies.
Im supposed to catch up with some friends straight after work. | haven't wore a suit in ages. Wore it today. Ripped the pants. Now walking around with my underwear showing |
t3_4rhn1n | relationships | So i [M18] have liked this girl for awhile [F19] and ive been getting mixed messeges about if she likes me back for not | So I've liked this girl for awhile about 2 years now shes the type to always be in relationships though but lately shes been havung rough times with her now ex and shes been coming to me alot, i was and still am getting mixed messages wheather she likes me or not since at some points shes being kinda flirty asking for cuddles and just being cute but at other times i feel like shes trying to friend zone me, but i just wanna get the truth out of her since I'm seeing her this week what should i say though i dont wanna mess it up | im pretty bad at looking for signs when it comes to girls but i still get the feeling there might be something there im just not sure what to say what would you all suggest? |
t3_10v0di | relationships | I (F24) don't know how to make this work (M25) | Been official 5 months. I (F24) have been friends with my boyfriend (M25) for 4 years prior. We are having a hard time figuring out the "logistics" of our relationship. I've tried sharing my "expectations" for the relationship as far as communication and spending time together. Yet, he seems to never live up to it. He claims that "he could do double and it wouldn't be enough." It seems like he sort of has a "it won't work so why bother?" mentality. I try to be understanding. I don't want to have ridiculous expectations. IDEALLY- I would like to talk to him on the phone on the days he works, and see him on the days he doesn't. More realistically, I'd like a phone call maybe 2 days that he works and see him 2 days he is off. I know he is making an effort but hes terrible with time management and always ends up with not enough time for everything.
We love each other, we get along well, but we are having a hard time going from friends to a relationship. He said at the beginning of the relationship "You used to watch us play video games" or other type of "You used to" comments. And I tried to explain to him that I'm his girlfriend, not his bud.
I suppose from the way he treats his mom, (very loving and respectful, but very forgetful and doesn't make his family a priority) that this is what all his relationships would be like. In the beginning, I used to think it was because he didn't like me very much.
I know a lot of our problems are miscommunication, but based on some of his comments it seems that both of our expectations don't align. | Boyfriend(M25) of 5 months and I(F24) have mismatched expectations and neither of us seems to want to budge. Is this doomed? |
t3_50ykvt | tifu | TIFU by preventing myself from ever going back to the best barbershop I've been to. | So today I decided to get a haircut today but try out a new barber. I've tried a fair few in my lifetime and like with any new barber, I was anxious. I went in and they were playing my fave music. Cool. Sat down and the barber and I clicked straightaway. We were chatting about football, music you know whatever and he was so funny he almost had my crying. And to top it off, he gave me a really nice cut plus a hot shave for free (he says that he doesnt charge for the shave every time, it's complimentary) for just £8. Perfect.
Now here's the FU. As I was leaving, he yelled goodbye and whilst I was pushing open the door to leave (why was the door the wrong way around anyway?!), I turn around and wave goodbye and then WHACK. I'd let go of the door and it was quite stiff so it came back around and slammed me in the face; knocking me to the floor. Another customer helped me up and I just jolted out of there. :-( | I got slammed by a door to the face knocking me back about metre at the best barbershop I've been to |
t3_2wyjgq | tifu | TIFU by being beta as fuck | So this didn't happen today but a few weeks ago, but oh well.
To add some context I met this awesome girl through a mutual friend in Facebook, we like the same music, she laughs at my jokes and she is smoking hot (I will refer to her as waifu). We get along really well and talk through Whatsapp daily.
So Friday night of around 2 weeks ago waifu texts me "I'm scared" and proceeds to tell me about how her monitor screen went black. So I tell her how I'll search around and provide better help Saturday morning. I helped her throughout the day asking her to do simple stuff so I can get clues about what's wrong. The saddest part is that she didn't knew what her PC's model was. I ask her for pics of her CPU since I could maybe tell what the model is from them, it was really dusty and you could tell she never cleaned it, I swear she's the only person that can pull this off and I'd find it cute. Long story short, by the end of the day it wouldn't even power, so she will get a new one, and don't worry /r/pcmasterrace , I will make sure myself proper care is given to her new PC when she gets it.
She thanks me for all the help and support along with an emoji of a bunch of hearts, and that's when I realize I'm IT zoned. | Got IT zoned after helping a girl out with her PC and advising her to get a new one after it died instead of fixing it |
t3_v0j56 | dating_advice | Girl I like being friends on Date? | 19M / 20 F
This is an update to one of my other posts about this girl I go to youth group with and also who I chat with the next day in the library.
So after a few weeks of deciding weather if I want to ask this girl N out I finally decide what the hell whats the worse that could happen. So since she always in the library on wednesdays I decide I would ask her if she wanted to grab some food from this cool indian restaurant nearby.
Thing is she wasnt here today and its finals week so I might not see her for a while so I shoot her this message.
"Hey N are you doing anything this weeked?"
She responds with working and thats about it why?
I say "I was going to check out this indian restaurant up here and was wondering if you wanted to tag along thats all" this was sent at 1:21
at 2:47 so a couple hours later me thinkin she probably doesnt want to she finally responds with "I could bring a few friends sounds fun... what time?"
The friends thing threw me off but I would rather hang out with her than nothing so I say sure.
QUESTION: Is this a bad sign that she didnt like me like that or is she shy or what? Advice and personal opinions appreciated | Asked girl out dont get a response for a few hours, finally get one and she says sure she bring friends? Good or bad? Time to walk? |
t3_4k0jcv | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [23 F] 2 year relation, feel like she isn't physically attracted to me anymore. | As all starting couples we had a lot of sex during the beginning of our relationship. However lately she doesn't like it anymore when I touch her/ make a move to have sex. I also tried all kind of romantic stuff to get her in the mood, but eventually she tells me she's not in the mood. It's not like I tried to have sex every evening and I don't want her to have sex when she doesn't want to (what I mean to say is that I don't push her). However I become insecure of it. She doesn't make a move by herself anymore (she used to) and when I make a move she doesn't feel like having sex. When I talked to her about this, she said it was because she was feeling stressed because she had so much to do (this is true, I even told her maybe she should slow down a bit with her work/study/etc). I understand that she's not in the mood when she's super stressed/ busy, but in the last 2-3 months we had sex 2-3 times. While in the beginning she would regularly make a move as well. It makes me insecure and it feels like she doesn't find me attractive anymore.
Because of this I don't make a move myself anymore that much, because I'm scared of being rejected again (because that is what it feels like). So I brought the issue up again and she told me she has the same feeling, (that I'm not attracted to her) because I don't make moves anymore... But I'm really attracted to her but I don't want to be rejected all the time because it makes me feel insecure/sad. When I asked if she was still physically attracted to me she said she was but she didn't know why she didn't feel like having sex. | I get insecure because GF doesn't want to have sex, because of this I don't make a move to have sex anymore that often and she thinks I'm not attracted to her anymore. |
t3_1ecj5p | relationships | I am a (25m) in a fuckbuddy situation with (37f) who has has turned into the most influential person in my life. | So, this is a unique relationship that I can go into more detail about if people ask.
Basically, she is much older than I am. 25 vs 37 I never considered her as my "girlfriend" but we started hanging out more and more often and have developed a strong bond. I told her I just want us to be FWB and I want to be able to date and fuck other girls that are closer to my age, but she can't accept me doing that.
The primary reason why I haven't made her my "official" SO is because we have such a large age different between us. I'm afraid of the huge gap in life experiences and the perpetual social stigma about this kind of relationship. I do know that if she was in her late 20's instead of her late 30's that I would have no problem at all taking the relationship to the next level. We connect and communicate very well on many levels. I've gained a great deal personally emotionally and in terms of life experiences by having her in my life for the past six months.
I have not been in very many relationships in my life, and I feel like at the age I am, I should be exploring and meeting many new people to get a feel for who I am into. In order for me to pursue other people, I would have to totally cut off ties with this woman and cause her significant emotional trauma. Also, I really like having her in my life, I don't want to reject her, but I need to be able to date others that are my age for many reasons.
We have had many conversations about this issue and neither of us can find a solution. I want her to be poly, but she is not open to the idea of me fucking other girls, she is too jealous. She wants a dedicated monogamous relationship and I can't get her to settle for anything less. I told her I would love to have a purely platonic relationship and cut out sex, but she said she would miss the sex too much. She said "can't be friends with people she has dated". | In an awesome relationship with an older woman. I have to decide if I am going to make things "official" or cut ties with her and pursue others closer to my age. |
t3_4p60uy | askwomenadvice | Guy[26M] i[25F] have been dating for 3 months posted a picture of him hugging his female friend at a beach wearing swimsuits | If you were me,taking into consideration that we haven't been dating for a long time but it looks like it's going somewhere like a relationship,what would you do??.So we are close but not very close.I haven't met his friend but he has mentioned her 2-3 times and he hasn't mentioned any romantic interest to her but then again you never know.
So he posts this pic.He is hugging her and there are two more girls in the pic and a guy.I can only see their heads and shoulders so i suppose they are wearing their swimsuits,but since i see no straps they could as well be topless or naked.He has mentioned having nudists friends but he is not one.
How should i react?Should i say anything to him?I am very frustrated.He posted that pic 2 days ago and i just saw it,and i remember spending that afternoon expecting his call so we can meet.I am also not so comfortable with him spending time with his female friends,cause i don't really believe they're just 'friends'.But i can't base that anywhere so it's just a thought.
What do i do?I'm gonna meet him later tonight.I'm so frustrated that i will either cancel our plans,or show him he did sth that bothered me but i don't think i have the right to tell him that it's this pic that bothered me.Am i overreacting?I really need an opinion. | The pic of the guy i'm dating with his female friend makes me feel uncomfortable and i don't know how to handle it or if i should be worried |
t3_24duu1 | relationships | I [28M] am getting less intimate with my wife [29F] (together for 7 years), we disagree about raising our child, and I feel frustrated and lonely | I don't know if my wife cares about me anymore. We lose intimacy with every passing day.
This week we fought over me trying to teach my son to play chess. She was saying I should let him win. I wasn't playing for real, but things happened and he lost (he's 6). He starts crying which I thought was funny, she procedes to tell me what a bad parent I am, and we fight in front of him. WTF? The woman is irrational and yells at people if they don't do what they want.
I could have taught him about losing with dignity, now he's gonna think dad and mom fought because he's a loser. She won't even let me be a father to my son. This boy is going to be a pussy worse than his father some day. I don't know what to do to stop it from happening, life is going to eat him alive and I feel powerless.
Most of time I just want to be left alone. Playing chess with my son was one of the few good moments of my whole week. Overall I don't like even hearing his voice, it's so high pitched. I really love him but I don't feel I have the patience. I know this is terrible.
Also, my job treats me well and pays me well, but I'm unhappy. I'm a late 20's man wanting to switch careers. I want to do arts college and become part time artist, part time arts teacher. I'd make less money but I think I'd be happier. But things aren't working. I don't think I'll ever gonna make it. I'm getting old and lost most of my creativity after too many mental health problems and years of office work and being a husband.
I want to add I had a business trip to do, but I think I'm not going because if I go, I'll be the whole time thinking she's cheating me while I'm away, and this is going to haunt me for months after I'm back. I never caught her cheating, but I got suspicious once and never trusted her again since then. | I love my wife, but I feel so lonely at home, and also very afraid my son ever ends up like me. |
t3_yp7gn | relationships | How do you know you're not settling? | I've [25] been with my girlfriend [27] for three years now. We live together and things seemed great. I was really happy with everything until recently.
I started a new job last month and met a lot of new people who I really like. There are no sexual crushes here, just people that I can talk to for hours. Suddenly, I'm noticing that the only conversations my girlfriend and I have are full of inane smalltalk.
I'm a real word-person, and she's not. We've tried to talk about things, but I can't help feeling that she and I will never be able to have those conversations that I love so much. As we get older, marriage keeps coming up and I don't want to be married to someone who I can't talk to 20 years down the line.
My ideal relationship would be 1) supportive/positive, 2) passionate [at least sometimes], and 3) emotionally/intellectually stimulating. And suddenly I'm realizing that this relationship is missing that last part. She's extremely willing to try to change and be more communicative, but it makes me uncomfortable that she's willing to change for me in the first place. She doesn't even put up a fight if I tell her something I'm not happy about. She just goes along with whatever I say without discussing it with me. | Girlfriend can't have intellectual conversations with me, but does everything else perfectly. Am I being too picky or am I settling? |
t3_44b9e6 | relationships | Me [17F] wants to know how to start dating and get a boyfriend | I'm currently a senior in high school and have never had a real boyfriend. I've been feeling really lonely lately, as I have no friends, so I guess am just really craving that kind of romantic companionship.
I casually talk to a lot of guys in my classes and flirt back and forth with them, but it's never turned into anything outside of class. Definitely not trying to sound cocky, but I've had a lot of friends from outside of school say things like "don't a lot of guys at school like you" or "why don't you have a boyfriend" or people at school at parties tell me things like "so and so thinks you're hot" and "<insert random guy I've never talked to's name> likes you". None of these things make me feel better, just like there's something really wrong with me that I can't form these relationships.
If there's a guy I like how do I start to try to form a relationship with him? | HS senior who has never had a real boyfriend. Talks and flirts with guys during classes but it never turns into anything more. How to form relationships? |
t3_e9ryu | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I'm writing a paper on YOU as a community and I want to know what you think makes Reddit so valuable! | I'm in a Comparative Media Studies class and I'm currently writing a very long research paper about my favorite place on the internet, Reddit. Basically my paper is trying to demonstrate how the participatory culture and utilization of collective intelligence on Reddit demonstrates its value and reliability (blah blah blah). But I need your help...
Tell me why Reddit is so important to you guys, the redditors themselves!
- What makes the Reddit community unique in comparison to other web(or nonweb)-based communities?
- What keeps you coming back to Reddit day after day (or hour after hour if you're like me)?
- What motivates you to write comments and submit links? Is it the karma? Or something more?
- When, for you, did Reddit stop being just a "news aggregator" and become something more?
- Do you/how often do you find faults with the "hivemind" mentality of Reddit?
- Anything else you want to say!
Honestly, you can answer one of these questions, all of them, or just say whatever's on your mind. Any contribution is very much appreciated. (Also, if any of you are at all interested in hearing more about my thesis, just ask! I might be slow to respond, though... I *am* trying to write a research paper, after all :D) | HEY REDDIT, what's awesome about Reddit? You can say a lot or a little, just say something! |
t3_3rba3g | Advice | Want to move out. Unsure on how much money I need. | So I'm trying to move out in January with myself my girlfriend and another friend. We're all part time workers I make 9.65 she makes 9 and my friend makes 9 + tips. We were thinking of a 2 bedroom apartment roughly $900 a month which is decent in my city. So avrg $300 for rent from all of us. Which we at least make $300 per 2 week paycheck. We don't need furniture because we can bring it from our homes. Just internet gas electric which should be $80 plus internet $60. We're in our 20s and completely tired of living with our parents they don't benefit us at all (not over exaggerating) we might get a 4th roommate sometime. | 3 friends want to move out (making roughly $9.00 an hour 30 hrs) to an apartment for about $900 a month. Do you think its possible. |
t3_2g5wtm | relationship_advice | I [17/m] want to learn what i want in life/love and make new experiences, but my girlfriend [16/f] thinks she could be content with me for a very long time. what do i do? | I am perfectly happy in this relationship and i dont want to loose it. but i also dont want to be stuck in one relationship for most/all of my young life. im just still not entirely sure what i want in life and love. but i also have strong feelings for my girlfriend and i dont want to loose her. She, on the other hand, has no desire to learn what she wants in life/love. She thinks she could be happy with one relationship her whole life because I/we fulfill what she could want in a relationship (she has no prior relationship experience and neither do i)
we also have been dating for almost 2 years. | I dont know what i want in life/love but i dont want to loose my relationship. she thinkgs she is content with everything |
t3_2rb239 | relationships | Me [16M] Am I being Pity Dated? [18F] | Hi guys, I know It's another teenage post that isn't "real love". I understand it guys, but please be understanding as I'm sure you were once an adolescent in the grasp of lust.
I realise dating at the work place isn't a good idea. Back story: I go to high school A, she goes to high school B. Both are close in distance. We work at the same restaurant. She has been flirting with me heavily and her friend we'll call her "E" has been saying that she is almost certain she likes me.
I ask her out on New Years Eve, under the moon and she says I'll think about it. Fast forward a few days and I'm at work. I ask E what she thinks about "i'll think about it" she says it probably means no. Albeit, E does have feelings for me as well she knows that I'm really happy being with said Girl.
Said Girl I like "M" asks girl "E" if she can cover her shift as she has something to do tomorrow. I'm working with E and E can't work tomorrow so she asks me. I said I'm busy as well, because I am. She asks if I'm mad at "M" and I said that I'm not. She says that she has told "M" about our conversation about the whole "ill think about it" means no conversation.
M texts me at the end of my shift and asks if I wanted to get dinner sometime next week. A pity date? Oh and I should mention that she said okay originally but then said i'll think about it when I couldn't think of a place to go. Pity date or wants to go with me? She is also moving in about 2 weeks, about 30 mins away, but she is still going to the same school. | Reading makes it much more understandable, but I like girl, she said I'll think about it, her friend says it probably means no, but girl I asked texted me for date? Pity Date or Nah? |
t3_3zdn60 | legaladvice | [US] Can the Federal government own public land? Why? | Let me preface this by saying that yes, I really do think the Feds can own land.
But this past weekend we had a situation in Oregon, as I'm sure you're all aware, and it's part of a crowd that for the past year or so have been pushing for Federal control of public lands being weakened.
Inevitably, I see people in Social Media who go "where in the Constitution does it say the government can own land?". My gut answer is that the Framers didn't think it necessary to include that somewhat obvious power, and indeed presumably George Washington(the presiding officer of the convention) would have overturned/stopped enforcing, say, the Northwest Ordinance if he thought it wasn't constitutional. | Can the Feds own land? And not just forts but, like, wildlife refuges, BLM land, etc? |
t3_3725sx | relationships | Me [23F] with my bf [23 M] 2.5 years, Friends of the opposite sex | So I have a question. I only have one friend who is a girl and the rest our guys. All platonic with guy friends. My so called bf thinks its messed up that I talked to one of my closes guy friends about a situation that I wanted advice on.
The situation was that my kept pushing me on the subject of oral sex. We are in a long distance relationship and he wanted me to be able to give oral to other guys in order to lessen the stress that I get from work etc. Personally I didn't care for it and so I felt pressured to tell him I wanted to do it. This went on for a month.
Since I have moved to the bay area I have been alone with no one really to talk to. The only person I have talked to is my friend and my bf.
My guy friend is straight and he is interested in other girls. We are just friends nothing more. I am not interested in him and vice versa. I told my friend recently about what was happening with my bf and I needed advice. I told my bf about it and he got upset. | My boyfriend doesn't like me talking about intimate things with my guy friends. Guys are my only close friends. Was I in the wrong? what should I do? or say to justify it? |
t3_fbhlo | self | I feel like I'm not "fucked up" enough for all the girls I'm interested in dating. | I'm a senior in high school, and for the most part I've stayed out of trouble, no drugs, limited exposure to alcohol (never been drunk, maybe a little buzzed), sex a few times with one girl. My social circle is not one that has crazy parties and rampant promiscuity.
I don't want to get into any sort of serious relationship, even though I'm likely to attend a community college here next year. I feel like any girl I might be interested in a relationship with would be put off by the absence of my virginity.
The issue is that I feel anyone who is more interested in random hookups and experimentation would be put off by my limited experience. It feels like once we get to talking, I'm not an interesting enough person, and I end up in the friend zone. I don't get invited to the sort of parties where I could further my experiences.
I don't feel like I'm particularly unattractive, and I work out fairly frequently, so I'm in good shape. It could be I'm a bit too much of a nerd or internet addict for most people, but I'm not sure. | I'd like to experiment with more girls, but it feels like I'm stuck between having too little or too much experience. |
t3_4w0gha | needadvice | I got hired for a job that's in the evening shift (3pm-11:30PM) and am not really sure what to do.. | I applied for a job and specifically asked for the morning shift, I was called a week and a half later and was told that they only had evening shifts available, and if I took the evening shift I'd start monday, But if I really wanted the morning shift and was told by the HR Rep that they might have openings on the 18th of august. Now the reason why I was pushing for morning so hard is that I'm planning on going back to school and that would be near impossible with a 3pm-11:30pm shift. What would you do? | Offered evening shift (3pm-11:30pm) and wanted the morning shift so I could potentially have room for school in the future. Was told they'd potentially have an opening on the 18th of august. |
t3_18tpbi | personalfinance | How should I manage my tax return? | I just filed my taxes yesterday and will be getting $3,700 combined refund. I am in a tough place as of late, between finishing up school and not having a steady job I am forced to live week-to-week. Here's a summary of my financial situation:
$20,000 credit card balance (eek!), $550 left on a vehicle loan, $2,500 on a personal loan, $0 in my emergency fund, and about $700 in monthly bills other than those already mentioned.
My intentions are to pay off my car loan (freeing up $225/month), put $1,000 in my emergency fund (and keep it there), and putting $1,000 on my credit card, leaving me with about $1,150 for me to have access to while I am finishing this semester (and to go out for one nice meal with my s.o. - we never get to enjoy fine dining). How does this sound? Should I refocus my funds in another manner? Thanks in advance for any comments/advice. | I am broke, with a ton of bills, and I want to manage this $3,700 appropriately: Discuss! |
t3_1a2e9n | relationships | Asked boyfriend(20) to move in with me(f,21) for the summer only and got rejected. | We've been together for a year and a half and I have the place to myself in the summer and I asked him if he wanted to live with me just for the summer. He currently lives at home but it's further from his job than where I live. He told me before he would prefer to not live at home but can't afford to financially. He wouldn't need to pay rent if he's living with me since I'm not really going to pay more or anything if he lives with me. Maybe he'll have to pay a bit for groceries and stuff which he currently doesn't do. Anyways, I got a no in response and was a bit hurt. He thinks it's weird or something but I don't really want to bring up the subject again because I'll probably be hurt/annoyed. I think it'll be good because then we can see if we're compatible to live together and it'll probably be the only opportunity to do so in the next few years due to finances/school. Should I talk to him about it again? Is it too soon to move in together if only temporarily? | Should I ask my boyfriend why he doesn't want to live with me (temporarily over the summer) or drop the subject? should i try to convince him with my reasoning? |
t3_12im73 | loseit | My first run in with serious discouragement. What do I do? | I've been working on my weight loss since January (with varying intensities). I'm almost to 40 pounds down, and really proud. I've gone from 174 to 136 with no crazy dieting, just counting calories and working out when I can. I'm 5'2" and I want to get to 125. [Here] is a icture of my progress as of 2 months ago.
I'm moving tomorrow into a friends' in-law suite and we were talking. Now, these friend are like Super Activist. Which is great, but one friend offered me a cookie and I declined because of my diet. My shocked friends asked why I was still losing weight, since I am the smallest I've been since they've known me. I told them that I felt like I still wasn't at a healthy body and I want a better hip-to-waist ratio. They accused me of fat-shaming myself and told me that since I hadn't read the complete original studies on hip-to-waist ratios and their connection with health, that believing that was invalid.
I believe in accepting your body, but I also believe in perfecting it and making it something to be *proud* of. I don't know how to express this to them in a way that they will accept. Help? | Friends are heavily into body acceptance and think me losing weight is me fat-shaming myself. How do I help them understand? |
t3_3zgzel | personalfinance | 18 year old with 10k in savings. Already in college. Need advice on how to use it to make more money. | Hello everyone, I'm a 18 year old college freshman. I've been saving money for the past few years and have accumulated 9-10k. Currently, it's sitting in my savings collecting a whole .26% interest each year (I think)! I come from a middle class family, so I'm fortunate enough to have my parents paying for my education. My major is also computer science if that's of any relevance.
I want to do something with my money so it collects more interest or something. So far, I've been browsing around reddit and the internet and found that online banks like Capital 360 offer saving accounts with decent interest rates. Furthermore, from another thread I found, someone recommended in investing in index ETFs that mirror the Nasdaq, Dow, etc.
I'm not a huge stock expert, so I don't want to individually pick my stocks, so if I do choose to invest in stocks, I believe ETFs would be the way to go. Basically, I'm just looking for some advice for what to do with my $10,000. | 18 year old college kid with $10,000 collecting nothing in the bank. What do I do with it? |
t3_dvbf4 | cats | My eight year old cat suddenly doesn't want to use his litter box anymore? | So this summer, my brother was preparing to move into a new apartment, and so my mom and I thought we could help out by taking care of his cat for a while. Everything was fine until about two weeks ago when we found blood in his stool and he became very lethargic. We took him to the vet and they said physically he was perfectly fine. They did a blood and urine screening which also didn't come out with anything. He's been feeling a lot better except for the fact that now he will urinate and defecate anywhere in the house. I have actually seen him jump into his litter box, begin to defecate, and then jump out and run to the floor mat at the front of our house to defecate some more. We decided to keep him in the bathroom with all his stuff in there so we don't have to clean as much, but it seems to have gotten worse. He will poop and pee everywhere in that bathroom including on top of his litter box and sometimes inside it, but will pretty much go anywhere. The other day when I came home from school, I let him out to wander around for a bit, and right when he came out the door he ran to the corner of our living room to pee. What is happening and how can we fix it?
Some facts about my cat:
-Male
-Eight Years Old
-He looks like a Serengeti cat but minus the large ears
-He seems to be pooping everywhere in that bathroom everyday
-This didn't happen for the first 3 months we had him
-He meows really loud when he's about to poop and begins scratching the ground | My cat has stopped using the litter box for no apparent reason to me, what could be the problem and how can I get him to start again? |
t3_3hhxm1 | relationship_advice | I (18m) like this girl (18f) but school is finished and I don't see her anymore | This girl went out with a friend of mine but the two broke up a while ago. She's always seemed really friendly and interested in me and I always get the feeling she may like me but now I won't get a chance to talk to her now that school is finished. We only really talk at parties or when at the pub; we're in very different groups of friends. She's so lovely and I know she's single right now and from what I can tell she is over her last boyfriend. What do I do? Ask over facebook? But I suck at facebook flirting, so should I just go ahead and ask straight away, or is that creepy? Could wait to see if she's out this weekend at the pub or something but that means I'm really just leaving things up to chance. Help. | like this girl, think she likes me, but school (only connection to her) is over. What do I do? |
t3_gwinj | AskReddit | Reddit, how do you organize your stuff in your pockets when leaving the house? | This kind of got started [here] and someone jokingly suggested doing a full thread about it. I've got nothing better to on easter (forever alone) so I figured, why the hell not, it's been kind of interesting, if totally pointless.
So to recap the original thread above, I tend to organize thus:
Front Right: Phone
Front Left: Keys/Pens/Headphones
Back Right: Empty/Wallet
Back Left: Empty/Wallet
(I switch back pockets because sitting on my wallet gets pretty uncomfortable.)
I do also have a few pairs of non-jean (?) pants with cargo pockets on the side, in which case I usually put my phone there and then split up my keys and pens.
So how do you organize your must-have items, Reddit? | unintentionally helped spark a comment thread, figured I'd make it a thread proper because I have nothing else to do today. |
t3_h1s4o | AskReddit | I need to get away. Far away | Nothing excites me anymore. My life has become a dull-drum of boring-ness and waste-of-lifedness (yes, its a word. now.)
I'm depressed, I'm bored, I'm lonely and I need to get away.
I want to go to a city I don't know and just hang out for a bit. Two years ago, I moved to Paris, France without knowing anyone. Do you know what kind of a thrill that is? Its amazing. I miss that.
My friends are assholes. I don't have family anymore. My job is not what I want.
So I'm asking you, what should I do? I need a week or two away. No friends. No one I know. I want to be put outside my comfort zone. I want to wander the streets of a city with no destination. I want to meet people. I want to talk to strangers. I want to people watch. I want be the life of a party. I want to be someone else for a while.
So where should I go? (I'm in philly now). How should I afford it (my salary certainly can't afford 7 days in a hotel, with food)?
I ask for your help. I need to get away. I hate my life. I need to block out my friends and the world. If I ignore them, I can't feel them constantly ignoring me. Right? | I kinda hate my life right now and I want a spur-of-the-moment vacation. I need suggestions, or maybe places to crash. |
t3_496bdo | relationships | I [17M] just started talking to a girl [17F] I used to be friends with three years ago | So I just hit up this girl that I was friends with three years ago, and we are not that close now because we go to different schools and have drifted from there.
I was able to start a convo but I could tell there was just some awkwardness/strangeness when we were talking because she would always take a while to respond and would never ask follow up questions. Like if I asked her something, she would give her answer, but would not ask "how about you" or something like that, so I just felt like I was interrogating her the whole time.
I have already talked with her and found some common ground in TV shows, but whenever I tried to start a discussion, it would always end up with me just asking a lot of questions of what she thought of them.
Its been the first day I've talked to her, so I don't want to give up or anything, and I know that she is someone I can become comfortable with in the future if I can somehow ease this tension or whatever. | Is there any way I can break the ice and just talk comfortably with her, even though its been three years? Any help is appreciated! Thanks! |
t3_4p2taa | relationships | Me [22 F] with my Boyfriend [23 M] of 4 years, emotions are hot and cold like a Katy Perry song. Weird or just normal? | I'll be as succinct as possible. My first love and only man I've dated seriously. Been dating off and on for 4 years. Longest stint apart: 2 years. Longest stint together: 1.5 years. He wanted to move back to his home state and then split with me, he still lives in home state and we are long distance, plans to move back by winter. I graduate college in winter.
There are times when I feel he is the love of my life. And then there are times where I couldn't feel further apart. My mind wanders to thoughts of dating others, to just even being single again. There are times where I feel he is the one and there are times I have this voice telling me he isn't the one. It's a square peg in a round hole. I get emotionally clingy to him at times and totally numb and distant at others.
What is going on? Am I forcing this too much? I know emotion is fickle and that it can be fleeting so every time I just don't feel into it I just work my way back to feeling in love with him. Its work but I know relationships are work.
Is this normal? I have no reference or experience with this. Is it just fickle emotions going back and forth or is there something wrong? Is my gut telling me to go for a reason or is just adjusting to being with someone long term? | Been together off and on 4 years, my emotions toward him range from head over heels to totally numb and out of love. Is this normal fickle emotion or sign of a deeper problem? |
t3_1clkif | relationships | Girlfriend's (23) found out I (24m) was living with her. | Me and my girlfriend have been together about 2 years and living together the past year or so. We've been very happy until recently. Apparently about a week ago her sister accidentally referenced something about me and my girlfriend living together, it was apparently an off hand slip up that her sister didn't mean to say but she said it. Her parents got suspicious, did some snooping and found out what was going on.
Now they're trying to get me and girlfriend to break up. My girlfriend has been in tears about this since she doesn't want to but doesn't want to disappoint her parents. In the mean time any relationship I had with her parents is now gone and they want me no where near their daughter. I really have no idea how to take it from here. My girlfriend keeps saying she doesn't want me to leave at all but she has been breaking down and crying at least once a day about it. I have no idea what to do. | girlfriends parents found out we were living together and want us to break up. They hate me now and my girlfriend cant stand her parents being mad at her. |
t3_17w34e | relationships | Ex-GF says she is pregnant and is being very sketchy about details I think she is lying in order to make me suffer. | I 28[m] broke up with my gf 24[f] of a year about a week ago because of continual troubles with money and her ex-bf and a number of other things. We didn't talk the whole week. Yesterday we spoke on the phone and she said a lot of mean things to me about how I basically ruined her life.
Then today she calls me and tells me she is pregnant. She was on the pill and I pulled out for our entire relationship, and she never got pregnant. She said she missed her period and she went to the doctor and got a urine test and found out she is pregnant. She won't give me details about where she went, what time she went, etc. I keep trying to talk to her more about it but she won't budge. Part of me thinks she is lying (just a hunch of mine) but it's also hard to believe she would keep a lie this severe going. I don't know what to do at this point. If she is lying just to make me hurt, I think that's ridiculous. | Ex-gf says she is pregnant a week after we break up. I think she may be lying. Dont know what to do. |
t3_zcgee | cats | Does my cat have attachment issues? | I have had Watson for about a year now. I got him from a shelter and they said he had been on the streets for about the first five months of his life. He is terrified of most people save for me and my girlfriend. For the last year then I was living in a small apartment and he was pretty much confined to my room. However, we just moved into our new apartment and he can have the run of the place now. We decided that we didn't want his hair all over the bedroom so every night when we go to bed, we take him out of the room and close the door. Several times a night he will paw and meow at the door for what feels like hours. What is going on? Is there a better way to deal with it? | My cat paws and meows at bedroom door but we don't want him in the bedroom. What can I do? |
t3_y2101 | dating_advice | Issues with another guy... | So my girlfriend (15) and I (16) have been dating for about a little under a month now. Her ex-boyfriend took the relationship too far when they were dating and cheated on her, then broke up with her, then asked if they could be fwb's (not actually having sex, just have a relationship where all they do is hang out and kiss pretty much). Well she said yes, and I tried to warn her where this was going and she didn't believe me, well, not so surprisingly, again, he took it too far. Then I asked her out (which honestly was partially to protect her from this other guy) and she said yes and we've been dating for a couple weeks now. The issue is, I live five hours away from her, and the other guy lives five minutes away from her. After I left town, this guy texted my girlfriend asking if they could go back to being friends with benefits, while we were still dating. This guy has been a complete douche to her as long as they dated and afterwards and yet she still views him as her best friend. I trust my girlfriend enough to believe that she's not going to cheat on me, but I'm not sure what the other guy is going to try with her. They've also brought up the possibility of going to dances together, but I've told her that I'm not comfortable with the idea. She can go with any other guy but not him, so my questions are 1. Am I being over controlling, worrying too much and things like that? and 2. any advice on what I could do to handle the situation with this other guy? | My gf's ex might try something with her as he doesn't fully understand boundaries and morals and I want to know if my reaction is normal and what I can do in the situation. |
t3_zmxqq | relationship_advice | [15/M] Not sure if I have trust issues or my friends just don't like me? {Please read} | So I am a sophomore at a High School with just under two thousand kids. The summer before freshman year I was best friends with two guys who I had told my secret. They were really cool about it, and this wasn't the problem of why we stopped hanging out. One of my "bestfriends" would constantly give me excuses to why we couldn't hang out that day and I would find out he was hanging out with my other friends and just decided not to invite me. So I constantly told him to just tell me he didn't want to hang out with me that day instead of straight up lying to me. He constantly lied to me, and made me feel like I wasn't cool enough to hang out with him sometimes. He and I had a fight and now we don't hang out anymore. But I didn't realize how much our friendship ending the way it did had hurt/changed me so much.
I found a group a guys who you would say are a little bit more popular than me, we are on the sports team and use to hang out. One guy I've known since fifth grade. We started hanging out a lot since we had Spanish together. We would be together everyday for a week. Then it gradually stopped. We hung out again on Friday, I texted him once yesterday and we had a conversation on and he said this Sunday would be best. I called him this morning, and he said he was at the movies, and I told him I would text him later, I messaged him on Facebook and he did not message me back. Every single time someone doesn't answer my text or call - every time I see a picture of all close friends hanging out on Facebook I feel insecure. I feel insecure and get depressed and feel like shit for a couple of days.
Are these trust issues? Whatever I am feeling how can I get ride of all this anxiety and mistrust? Should I confront them on why I wasn't invited or will it make my situation worse? | A past friend constantly lied to me and I feel like I have trust issues, every time I'm not invited to an event held by mutual friends I feel like it was because they think I am annoying and hate me. |
t3_382ach | relationships | My [F23] boyfriend [M23] came home with big cuts on his chest, but won't tell me what happened. | We've been together for 3 years and have a great relationship. I'm just going to jump right in... He usually sleeps with his shirt off, but for the last 3 days he's been sleeping with one on. I didn't really think anything of it. Last night, in the middle of the night I rolled over and put my hand on his chest, but I felt something weird. When I started to pull his shirt up so I could look, he woke up. He asked me what I was doing, told me to get off. After bugging him a bit more, I got him to show me. He had two patches on his chest, that were covering cuts.
He said he got our friend to stitch him up. But he refuses to tell me what actually happened. "It's not a big deal, just relax." "Please stop asking, it's just a couple of cuts." I have no idea what to do. What the hell could have happened? There's three different cuts, with different angles, they definitely didn't happen at the same time - same occasion, just not simultaneously. Two cuts are like 3-4" and then there's a smaller one. The only thing I can think of is that he was mugged, but why would he keep that from me?
Nothing like this has ever happened before (obviously). I'm really worried and I don't know what to do. Should I just try and let it go? I've asked him like 30 times and he just refuses to tell me. | My [F23] boyfriend [M23] came home with big cuts on his chest, but won't tell me what happened. |
t3_2hn533 | relationships | I [23 F] broke up with my bf [28 M] of 4-years, did I make the right decision? Where do I go from here? | Hi friends,
I just broke up with my live-in boyfriend of 4 years. I basically told him that I felt like we were on different paths and that I felt different. I told him that I didn't know who I was anymore, that I knew I was his partner and I knew I was my brother's sister, etc. I told him that it wasn't right for me to stay with him if I didn't know these things and that I needed time to figure it out. He was calm and asked me a few reasonable questions (eg: how long have you been thinking about this?). After a while, he simply said "alright" and said that he never wanted to hold me back... So, I packed a few things and went to stay with a friend. He offered to help carry my bags to my friend's car.
But, I feel a lot of regret right now. This is the longest and most serious relationship that I have been in, ever. On the flip side, I really think we were headed in different directions, with different priorities (there's a past of drug use, and I'm trying to get/stay clean...). I'm finding it really hard to focus and concentrate because I do still love him, he's my best friend, and he has given me so much support in my life (I have a bad history -- loss mother to breast cancer, abusive dad, oldest of many kiddos). I told him during "the talk" that I will be forever grateful for his support and that he's helped make me a better person. He feels like he wasted 4 years, though.
I'm safe and staying with a friend. However, I'm fighting the urge so bad to go back. But at the same time, I'm still surprised by his initial response and I feel really confused right now. Did I make the right decision? My gut is telling me that I've made a mistake and that I'll regret it. What are my next steps? | I (23/F) ended a 4-year relationship with my (28/M) bf; I'm feeling regret/confusion and wondering if I made the right decision... |
t3_3eevic | relationships | I [19f] am going on a business trip and leaving my boyfriend [22m] behind. Advice? | Next week I am going on a business trip for a whole week and it is the first time my boyfriend and I will be apart for so long. We have been dating for 3-4 years. Its hard leaving my significant other behind because a week is a very long time for us. Also I get anxiety and he keeps me sane and calm, so its gonna suck not having him there with me. I'm also gonna miss the affection and intimacy. I feel like I'll be sad and miserable on this trip, so, Is there anything we could do to make this eaiser on us? Any advice? | Going on a week long business trip, dont know how to cope with anxiety and dk how to cope with being sad because missing my SO. |
t3_y4gct | AskReddit | Hey Redditers, I had a crap experience at the store yesterday and wanted to know some social rules you think everyone should follow? | So yesterday I went to the store to grab a 6 pack and a couple 2 litters. When I came in I checked the lines and saw they were empty so I didn't bother with a basket. I got my 6 pack then headed down the soda aisle, seeing they were out of 2 litters of coke, I opted for 4 of the 1.5 litter bottles. They were bulky and carrying them was a pain in the ass since i had to grab them with the tops of my fingers with the six pack under my arm, but still wasn't worried because the lines were a non issue.
Well by the time i got out of the aisle with all supplies the only two registers open were both swamped. I cursed my luck but saw that one line was filled with people that had fewer items than the other, so I started heading towards it only to be beaten there by a group of 3 with a basket FULL of stuff. I'm now standing there obviously straining to keep the perfect balance of weight distribution so I don't drop anything, when the guy sees me and says "Man you should have gotten a cart!" To which I half chuckled then went stone faced as I watched them unload their cart. As it turns out, all three people each had their own shit they needed to pay for, so it took them about 10 minutes to separate and pay for their items.
Now if I was in the opposite situation and saw a guy behind me with only 5 items I would let him go ahead of me. I assumed this was a just a "social rule" that everyone knew how how to follow. So reddit, what other social rules did you assume everyone knew and saw completely disregarded? | Asshole people cut me off in line with a basket full of shit when I had only 5 items and wouldn't let me go ahead. What social rules did you think everyone followed? |
t3_1b15zm | relationships | My [F,20] relationship with boyfriend [M,20] is getting boring.. How do I fix it to make it more exciting and fun again? | I [f,20] have been with my boyfriend [m,20] for over 2 years now, and at the beginning of this year, I moved hours away for college. The distance has been a struggle. Communication is the hardest thing. Our work/study times cross over so if we do have time to talk in the day, its very brief.
We are very comfortable with each other, so with that we are used to what we have in this relationship. There doesnt seem to be the excitement anymore, and it is very hard to maintain that while in a LDR. Lately, we have been getting really short with each other and end up arguing over the stupidest, most minimal things.
There may be a chance for me to transfer my course somewhere that isnt so far from his town, and we may be able to see each other more often. I am seeing him for a week from tomorrow, and I really want to do my part in making the relationship more fun, flirty and exciting but dont really know where to start or how to do that? I dont want to give up just saying the relationship is 'boring' if I/we havent done anything to try fix that..
Im lost on where to begin with this, so what do people suggest I do to bring the fun back? | relationship not exciting anymore. Wanting to bring fun and flirtiness back into the relationship, rather than just giving up. What can I do or where can I start to fix this? |
t3_45j0v5 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [15 F] of almost 5 months, She has bad anxiety and gets occasional depressive episodes | So my girlfriend has pretty bad anxiety, but her mom hasn't gotten her checked out for medicine anyways, even though her mom is a psychiatrist and "self diagnosed" her with anxiety. She often gets affected by certain situations, for example just the other day, her parents had a talk with her about her wanting to be an artist when she grows up, but trying to discourage it because it doesn't pay well, and they aren't the happiest with my wanting to be a writer on top of that
She was super down during school the next day, and when I asked her about it, she said she was worthless, that I didn't really love her, and so on, I reassured her that I wouldn't stop loving her over brain functions that she can't totally control. I told her that she wouldn't stop being beautiful in my eyes due to any of this. And I told her that if she wants to be an artist, she is an artist. Nobody can tell her otherwise, and if they do, I will still support her. I sincerely mean all of these statements. I felt really down around this time last year until the beginning of this school year, when I began dating her after homecoming. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. | My gf has bad anxiety and occasional (but severe) episodes of feeling unloved and worthless. Is there an easier way I can comfort her in the future? What should I do as far as her mom? |
t3_z9kdx | relationships | My friend/neighbor/crush just texted me and told me her and her bf broke up, what should I do?! | Hey! So a little background info, a few months back me(19) and my previous gf broke up, and I decided that I needed help getting over it and saw a therapist and now a lot has changed for me and I'm glad to be a happier better person for it.
However,two weeks ago, by chance I was able to get to know my neighbor(19) better (I live on campus) and we have been hanging out and we get along pretty well. Just about half an hour ago she sent me a text telling me that her bf broke up with her. I have recently found myself attracted to this woman, but I decided to leave it be and settle to be just her friend, but this new event makes me wonder if I should try asking her out?
Right now I convinced her to go on Skyrim and start killing everything to her hearts content to make her feel better, so I ask r/relationships, whats my next move? | A friend of mine whom I have a crush on recently became single. I want to ask her out, but I'm not sure how long I should wait or what I should do etc. |
t3_chs57 | AskReddit | Gear Heads (Petrol Heads) of Reddit, Please help. | Hi All,
I have a problem with my 2002 Saturn L300. It burns oil. I have decided that spending $2000 to fix this issue is not worth it. However, the trade off is that I need to keep my fluids in check. Fast forward to my last car inspection and I needed some work. After this, I noticed that there was a wire hanging out of the front of my car where the "grill" is. I thought nothing of it. Well, now I need to top off my oil and/or get an oil change and it turns out that the wire is the wire that previously opened my hood (bonnet). I can't open my hood to add oil and my low oil light is on. I don't have funds at the moment to take it to a shop and I feel that it's imminent that I get oil in the thing. Any suggestions on opening the hood? | I have a Saturn L300 that desperately needs oil. I can't open the hood due to a broken cable. Need help opening hood as I can't afford a costly repair. |
t3_2hna0f | relationships | Me [23 M] with my [21 F] This has been going on for just under a year and i dont know what to do. | This started as an old couple talking to try and clear the air. it took a while but we finally started talking again. after a while, she tells me she is falling back in love with me and I say that i am too. we date long distance for a while and everything is going okay until we start fighting a lot. i tell her that i just cant deal with her getting drunk and trying to fight with me all the time and i told her we need some time apart to get this sorted out. i have been talking to her everyday since we broke up and she keeps saying I love you but it just doesn't feel like she is really there anymore. what to do? | Me and girlfriend are fighting about her drinking. we break up but she says she will try and do better but i don't feel the love anymore. |
t3_1npfwa | relationships | Me [25 M] with my fiancee [20F] 3 years, long distance relationship, met once | My girlfriend whom I met online plays mind games with me when we fight to make me jealous. She tells me that she is going to date other guys, sex them, etc
She recently changed her profile picture to a flower and her status to some German saying about "endings". I became enraged thinking she was talking to other guys. She called me obsessive. Which is probably partially true but she is just as obsessive if I were to act in the way she is.
She really makes me happy and is often the only person I can turn to. I told her that it was over and to leave me alone. She agreed.
I am overwhelmed with a feeling of a happy future together lost, unrequited passion...
I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend calls me obsessive. I tell her it's over. She agrees. Now I feel alone and unloved. Don't know what to do. |
t3_4zaqu1 | relationships | My [16M] ex-girlfriend [18F] suddenly stopped talking to me even though we stayed as friends after we broke up. What does this mean? What should I do? | So I became really really close with this girl I work with. We liked the same kind of music and it really started from there. We got really close, would tell each other all our problems, always support each other, etc. Eventually it got to the point where she told me she wasn't happy with the relationship she was in (which she was in for 3 years or something). I did my best to make her feel like everything was alright. I had no intention of dating her going into it, I was just trying to help a friend, but long story short, she initiated it, from there on we became a thing and started dating. I didn't expect this to happen, I had always kind of liked her, but just expected to remain friends. Anyway, I totally fell for her and absolutely completely loved her.
Well some time later she told me that she didn't want to jump into another relationship right away after being in one for three years, and just wanted time for herself to be happy. Okay, I understood. I was pretty devastated, but that's what she wanted. As long as she was happy I guess. We still remained very close friends.
Well about a week after telling me that she didn't want a committed relationship, I learn via Facebook's relationship status thing that she's with this new guy [18?M], a friend of hers. On that day, she just totally stopped talking to me. Doesn't text me anymore, doesn't talk to me at work (only if it's directly work-related). She totally cut me off.
I'm pretty mad now. I'm mad because *I literally didn't do anything wrong* and now shes treating me like this. You'd figure it would be the other way around, that I would've cut her off. I'm pretty angry, though I haven't shown it. I'm heartbroken though and I miss my friend. I have recently started dating this other girl though [19F] and things are going well.
So Reddit, why do you think she did this? And what do you recommend I do? | Dated friend, broke up with me cause she didn't want another committed relationship after just getting out of one, we remain friends, she gets new guy, totally cuts me off. |
t3_4myjcy | relationships | How can I make it easier for my daughters[14Fs] to live with me[34M] and my new wife[26F]? | I divorced my ex wife 5 years ago, during the divorce my kids moved in with my parents. It was recommend by the judge and by counselors so that they'd have a stable environment.
They ended up staying for 5 years so I could get my life together(get a degree, better job, house). I married my wife 3 years ago and when have a one year old. I try to spend as much time as I can with my daughters but it was always at my parents place(I would drop them off and pick them up from school), at school, the mall/park or on vacation. They get along pretty well with my wife.
Now that the house is all set up they're moving in with us. But I'm worried, they've only been exposed to American culture(my fault) and my wife is a first generation immigrant. Everything is different food, hygiene even what's considered polite.
How can I make this easier on them? | My kids lived with my mother during/after my divorce. My new wife's African and I'm trying to prevent culture shock. |
t3_gycf4 | relationship_advice | Too late for closure? | A few months ago, I had a... thing with a girl. Basically, we'd get together at night and fuck, cuddle, fall asleep and fuck some more she'd GTFO with all possible haste the following morning (her preference). Nothing serious, but I did like her a lot. We never knew each other well enough for me to fully justify this claim, but she's likely in the top 95% of people I've met in my life, all things considered.
Anyway, I awoke one beautiful Sunday morning to my phone.
She said that although she had said that she wasn't in a good place for a relationship, she had in fact recently met someone with whom she wanted to be in a relationship. I think the implication was no more fucking, but didn't ask.
WHOMP.
In my half-asleep state I said something inane like "good luck with your life" or something to that effect. She said that I was "nice."
WHOMP.
And hung up. The 'conversation' was no more than a minute long.
Anyway, from that moment:
Cut all contact-- Check.
Delete facebook-- Don't use that dumb shit. Check.
Hit the gym-- I'm a grad student. Hit the lab. And a lot more biking.
Get some random ass-- check*N for some 4<N<9
Unfortunately, while I was doing pretty well avoiding thinking about her for a few months, recently I have started thinking about her again.
More than anything, I'm really unsatisfied with our last interaction and would like a semblance of closure to the matter-- whatever that means. Honestly, it includes a desire to verbally shit on her a little bit (for reasons including ones not discussed above). I'm fully aware of fuckbuddy etiquette, but it still seemed a little harsh.
Anyway, what are peoples' opinions on the timeframe for getting in touch after things end? Any way to do it that's effective, doesn't sound desperate/clingy etc.? | somebody with whom I had a little bit of a connection cut things off very abruptly a few months ago; too late to get in contact with her? |
t3_2z8623 | tifu | TIFU by checking my gf's messenger | So yesterday me my gf and my buddies got pretty drunk and me being in overly weird mood decided to check up my gf's messenger.
We'd been together for 2 months which is not much, but I've fallen madly in love. I was alone for 2 years after my 5 year relationship fallen appart, and she got me out of my sad hole.
She had many men before me and I found out apparently that i have some sexual problems with myself. She is supprisingly chill about it and is willing to help me out.
Moving on to yesterday evening I got super jealous after drinking. Bare in mind that I know about her exes and one particular who lives in other city, she owes some money and tries to maintain peaceful relationship with him. I checked out briefly her facebook and saw her sending her pussy pic with caption "its still warm" to her ex...
I called her out on it 'cause I couldn't contain myself, got slapped in face and now we're not talking to each other.
I don't know what to do know. I fucked up, should've stay oblivious.
Sorry for English (not my first language) | checked out gfs msg and saw her sending pussy pic to her ex.. now I don't know what to do. |
t3_11dhjy | relationships | Am I right to be suspicious of my wife or am I just being paranoid because of my own guilt? [36m, 33f] | **AGES/GENDER - 36/m & 33f**
**LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP - Married 11 years, Together 14 years**
Part of me thinks I have no right to really make a fuss over this situation but its been gnawing at me for the last few weeks. My wife has been becoming friendly with the parent of our daughters' friend. This guy is just a real douchebag. I have nothing but dislike for him but our kids are friends. My wife has started to talk about him a lot. I know they text. I see her dress up way more than necessary when they are together. They are way too close and the relationship is really not one that makes me feel particularly great.
If she is cheating it would make me furious. Probably not the end of our marriage since I think we could get over it and we have twin daughters. I just think it needs to come to a stop if its going on.
Now the part that complicates this is I've also cheated on my wife. More than I am proud of admitting. For the longest time, if I could cheat, I would. Nothing ongoing or with her friends but a large number of one night stands. My wife does know to a degree. I was caught once when we were dating and once more in 2005. We've since worked out our issues.
I don't know if she has cheated on me in the past or not. I've never really got caught up on it since we lived really separate lives for a long portion of our relationship and to be honest I was very active on the side. But now we are together and we are raising a family and I really don't think having affairs with our daughters' friends are appropratie.
So my complicated, convoluted questions are these.
**Does it seem like she is cheating?**
If so, what do I do?
- Do I let it go?
- Do I confront and blow it up? | I feel like there is a good chance my wife is cheating on me with one of our daughters' friend's parents. Not sure what to do and unsure of what I can do because of my own cheating past. |
t3_f668g | AskReddit | Has anyone experienced ibuprofen or acetaminophen rash before? | I took ibuprofen last Friday night and Saturday morning I woke with a widespread rash. No other symptoms, just a slightly itchy rash. Fast forward a week and it's still here. I went to the doctor and he was useless, as WebMD and Google pics gave better answers and advice than he did (stay away from the medicine you most believe caused this/drink as much water as you can). I was told to monitor it, and then had blood work done (I have a phobia of syringes and needles, fainted right after) and here am I left wondering how long I'll be stuck with this. It has spread to my face, which causes me to get weird looks from people and treated as if I'm some kind of contagious zombie. I'm not looking for medical advice, since it's just a rash with no other symptoms, just the experiences of anyone who has been in a similar predicament. | Anyone else experienced a rash from ibuprofen or acetaminophen and how did it all work over for them? |
t3_25iy6i | relationships | Me. [19M] Having trouble breaking into the shell of an only child [17F] | As the title states. Somehow this person is an extremely independent person, to the point where if anyone would want to be acquainted or go further than just being acquaintances, they'll hit a brick wall at 80mph/110kmh, depending on what country you're from.
We've been talking and spending time with each other for a while now. Certainly not years long, certainly not just weeks long either. A lot of times, I end up feeling like I'm continuously running into this brick wall, and that also includes being a brazen little asshole, telling her of my affection towards her to which I will receive no confirmation or affirmation, just avoidance in the most subtle form.
A lot of that happens and I get let down a lot of the time. Ever since I ended my first relationship, I've learnt to expect less and appreciate more, but this really takes the cake.
And the problem is that I don't find myself easily attracted to members of the opposite sex - I prefer personality over looks any day and while this girl isn't exactly Megan Fox or Taylor Swift gorgeous, she's got a personality that leaves me hopelessly attracted. | having problems breaking into the shell of an only child, even with the force of a great typhoon by the way I shamelessly pursue her in hopes that she'll see my genuinity and take me in. |
t3_3p6rv0 | Advice | 26, no GED/Diploma. Making 50k+ a year, but would rather have an education. Advice?! | Got Home Skooled... kind of. The schooling part ended while I was a pre-teen that got my hands on a | never went to school, parents wanted me to be a preacher. didn't last. Been working since I was 14 and haven't stopped. My education is entirely based on the jobs I've worked, and my own self interest. |
t3_3knj5i | relationships | I [20 F] showed myself naked on webcam to a friend [22 M] while drunk, should I tell my boyfriend [27 M] (been together 14 months)? | I have a pretty close male friend who I have never dated or had any romantic feelings towards him. I still don't feel attracted to him at all.
Last night we were chatting via Skype and had our webcams on. I had been drinking a lot because I was depressed that day. I usually don't drink much at all.
Things got playful and we ended up showing ourselves to each other naked. It was pretty brief and for me there was nothing sexual about it. We joked that it was 'just out of academic interest'. I know that he got aroused, though. I soon started feeling sick and then passed out on my bed.
I woke up this morning feeling horrible and disgusted by myself. I am pretty much in shock and don't know what to do.
I think I did it because I feel neglected by my boyfriend. He doesn't have a lot of time for me and I guess I craved the attention. I would never have done it sober.
I know I did a terrible thing and there's nothing that would justify this kind of behaviour. Do you think it is so terrible that I should tell my boyfriend? Will he break up with me/do you think he should?
I could promise him never to talk to this friend again and never to drink again unless my boyfriend is present. | I showed myself naked to a male friend via webcam and he showed himself to me. Should I tell my boyfriend? Should he break up with me? |
t3_qektl | AskReddit | Can reddit help me raise money for a friend's son (through a cancer research center)? | I really don't know what to expect from this, but I thought I would give it a shot.
In a couple of months, on April 28th, I am taking my family to Durham, NC for a 5K and/or family fun walk. As part of this I am also helping to raise money for the Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke. This is for a friend's son who is undergoing treatment at Duke. [This is Nathan,] just after his second birthday (January 2009) he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He is now 5 years old and still fighting as best as he can.
I want to add a little extra incentive to this because, well, [I need a haircut.] I haven't had a haircut since June, so, for every $5 donated I will shave 1.75 square inches of my head (that's the width of my clippers). With the average 140 square inches of scalp on the human head, that comes to $400. It would be cool if fellow redditors gave a few bucks to this, and would be awesome to get $400 so I can shave my whole head instead of just part of it. I'll probably do the shaving a couple of days before we get on the road for Duke and **I will post pics** of the shaving and screen caps of the final donation count, so you will see how much I shave according to how much is donated. I'll also take pics at the walk, too. | raising money for a cancer research center that a friend's son goes to, will also shave parts of my head for $5. |
t3_3y4whp | relationships | How can I be less needy after starting to have feelings for a guy? [26F] | 26F here. I have an issue where I date guys who I get along with and am compatible with/have chemistry with. I'm okay as long as I don't like them. Then as soon as I develop feelings for them, I completely collapse internally and become obsessed with figuring out what they want, what to say, what everything they say/do means.
I ultimately start to give a needy and desperate vibe where my feelings take over, that pushes guys away and kills the fun/chemistry. I don't excessively text or anything, I just become very serious and overthink/withhold, and will try to actively figure them out/act overly enthused. Not hearing from them gives me anxiety and it ultimately dies out- even when we start out having amazing chemistry.
I was trying to figure out why I'm so needy/desperate and I guess I can trace it back to lack of attention from peers, lack of praise and excessive criticism, and a lack of love for myself. Also since this mostly happens when I feel things for a guy, I wind up getting wrapped up in a fantasy about him "rescuing" me/loving me and just feeling loved completely just gets me every time. It's like no matter how many hobbies or friends or anything I have (or career) I am never feeling loved totally. | Anyways, someone please help me get rid of these needy vibes and replace them with the happy vibes that attract people. |
t3_grghu | AskReddit | How can I get my boyfriend to "Change it up" in bed? | obviously this is a throwaway
My boyfriend and I have great sex. I orgasm most times, but it is always in missionary position, with little variation to position. Speed, depth, strength, contact vary but still in the same position, to the extend that the only changes come with me moving my legs on my own. Frequency isn't an issue either, we do it alot.
Here is the issue: I want it dirtier and he doesn't like or feels uncomfortable dirtier. He has no fantasies he wants to play out (that he will admit to) and doesn't really feel comfortable playing into my dirt stuff (pull my hair, talk dirty - really basic beginner dirty)
We've been together for a while now. I have told him that nothing is off limits and that I want to do whatever and that I would never judge him. Cues from his porn selections are very generic.
Although he hasn't dated alot (I'm his first stable long term gf/sexual partner), he has had a fair number of sex partners, but I don't think he's ever gotten to the level of really opening up sexually with anyone. I have. Frankly, I want to be his little sex toy. It's not a deal breaker, but I think a varied, passionate, spontaneous and sexy love life is something really fulfilling in a relationship.
WTF Reddit!??! Can my male reddit geeks provide some insight on one of your own? | how can i get my bf to come out of his shell and share his sexual fantasies/have some great dirty sex? |
t3_w6ulc | relationships | Really tough situation. Don't know what to do. Please help :( | This is kind of long, and making me sick thinking about, but I really don't know what to do.
Background: In february, my girlfriend of about 2 years visited her friend at another college. She got very drunk and somehow ended up sleeping in the house of her ex (we had a year long break between the 2 years).. She claimed nothing happened and was very sorry about it and it obviously caused a big problem between us.
Since then, we have moved forward and even got an apartment together for next year at school. We have been talking about getting married for a long time and are very serious. I am close with her family and always help them out.
Last week: The ex texted her claiming that in February when she was there, they made out and he fingered her. She had no recollection but believes it to be true. Obviously, I blew up and was angrier than ever. I went over to her house and she was in hysterics. She cried so hard she gave herself a panic attack. She told me to hit her, do anything just to somehow make it better (which I didn't do). In the back of my mind, if we didn't already have an apartment, I probably would have walked away and never spoken to her again; but I chose to try to make it work because of the complication. We really love eachother, but it is impossible to get this cheating out of my head. On top of all that, the ex works in the same place as me and I see him from time to time. It has taken everything not to destroy him. How do I deal with this?
I honestly want to save the relationship, and I see (saw) myself spending my life with her, but these bad thoughts keep coming back. | Girlfriend "unknowingly" cheated while blackout with her ex. We have an apartment set up for next semester already. What to do? |
t3_1i9bt0 | relationships | I'm [18M] having sex drive troubles with my [18F] girlfriend of two years because of recent pregnancy scares. | So, My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and have been sexually active for one.
When we first had sex, she wasn't on birth control and it was both of our first times. After about 20 minutes of intercourse and foreplay I look down and my condom looked like it was leaking and that killed the mood. Even if it wasn't and I was just foolish.
Then a few times after the first time we had sex while she still wasn't on birth control the condom slipped off and her period was late. I lost sleep over the worries of pregnancy. Even when she finally got on birth control the condom broke and I couldn't sleep.
Even though she is on birth control she is very careless about the exact time she takes it and often misses pills by a few hours.
Now every time it scares me so more recently when we try to get in the mood I find myself pulling away from sex and settling for giving her head. I have told her about this and she seems to understand but now it has been nearly 3 months since we last had sex and I can't seem to bring myself to be brave enough to have sex again. I love her alot and I feel like less of a man because of this downfall. Am I being foolish and immature or rightfully cautious? | I am so afraid of getting my girlfriend pregnant I put off sex and I feel like I am cowardly. Any advice? |
t3_1613na | AskReddit | What's your most embarrassing sex story? [NSFW] | So i was having sex with my girlfriend on the floor because my bed makes to much noise, we were going at it pretty hard, everything was going great and then i felt pain, a lot of pain and it was almost as if i had been shot in the dick. (I hate blood, it makes me queasy and i literally gag) I put the light on the to see what had happened and there was blood everywhere.. I wondered what it was and then i looked down and to my horror my pride and joy was spewing out blood everywhere, i kept calm... My girlfriend on the other hand started to cry and had a panic attack thinking she had broke me.
That isn't even the embarrassing part... I went down stairs because i needed to go to A&E but i couldn't drive in this situation (My girlfriend didn't drive at the time) So.. I asked my mum, if she could give me a lift to A&E.. we were there for 5 hours.. it was horrible. I had to explain to the receptionist my problem and everything. When i got into the cubicle where the nurse was to examine me, i looked up and i swear i saw a smirk on his face, i was not amused. I then finally got to see my doctor, who had my man hood in his hands for a good ten minutes examining me.. My girlfriend could not contain her laughter and had to hide behind the bed. After all this embarrassment he told me it should heal after around two weeks.. 5 BLOODY MONTHS IT TOOK!
So what's your most embarrassing sex story? | Girlfriend broke my dick, she had a panic attack, had to ask parents for a lift to A&E and explain my problem to them and random strangers. |
t3_30sh6d | relationships | [M26] seeking advice to how to make move. | First off little background: I'm 26 year old male who hasn't been serious relationship yet. I cannot explain why, but I think my flame was ignited on the last year and wasn't interested before that I guess. I think I'm OK looking guy and I'm pretty active nowdays. I like floorball, gym, cooking and skating also hangout with friends quite often.
So I have been on tinder dates with 4 girls and continued with two after first date. Long story short both liked me very much and both had blast on dates, but they lost interest when I took it slowly or didn't know what to do. I was devasted after those episodes.
Now in present I met this sweet and cute girl. I asked her to, she said yes and was very thrilled. We are going out for a coffee on tomorrow. I'm fearing that this will end just like with those two girls.
Any help or tips? | 26 year old male, never been in serious relationship and have lost couple sweet girls because took it slow or didn't know what to do. |
t3_1glm3v | relationships | How do I (28/f) get my mom (50s/f) to take down my former wedding pics? I'm divorced | Ok, this isn't a major relationship issue, but it bugs the hell out of me.
I was married before (got divorced last summer) and at my parents' house, my mom still has on display pictures from my former wedding featuring our side of the family with me in my wedding dress. There are also a few other family photos (not wedding pictures) with my ex-husband in them that I would really, really prefer not to see/ have my boyfriend see when I/we happen to be at their house.
Yes, I have already asked her to take them down and told her that they make me uncomfortable. She brushed it off and said that she really likes the pictures.
Do I just suck it up because it's her house and she can display whatever she wants? | Want my mom to take down pictures at her house featuring my ex-husband because I don't want to look at his dumb face anymore. |
t3_49yh79 | personalfinance | Salary Negotiation - immediate vs. future payoff? | I was told once I receive my licence in the field, I would receive an immediate salary raise to (for ease of numbers), 50k/yr. At the end of the year it would jump again to 55k. I'm now licenced and will be talking to them soon. I would like to earn more now rather than later in order to leverage my savings account with its high interest sooner, but because I'm younger in the field, i don't want to come off greedy or uninformed. The salary range is good, but I don't want to limit myself by just accepting their first offer. Your suggestions? | told 50k now, 55k at the end of the year, but want to earn more now rather than later to save up for other investments (i.e |
t3_13d8gj | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I exact revenge on someone who upset my SO? | Little more info, in a long-distance (well four hour bus journey) relationship. During a rough patch the SO was being chatted up by some guy and almost got with him but didn't when she realised she only wanted me (r/cringe, etc.).
This is all fine, but afterwards he started telling people she'd slept with him, and when I was visiting for a weekend he messaged her on facebook with further weird statements, like "I miss you in my bed" and such. All this made her very upset and as a result, I have decided to do something. I don't want to resort to violence but I do want to scare him. Help would be much appreciated.
From looking through his Facebook photos I can tell you he goes to Trinity College in Dublin, he likes designer clothing and he's visited Rome. That's all I got I'm afraid. | some bag of piss spread rumours about my girlfriend, how do I destroy him in a non-physical manner? I don't want him actually harmed or in any real danger, just scared. |
t3_uljh8 | AskReddit | What is the most significant time other people have tried to (or succeeded) in damaging an important moment in your life? | Today I went on the longest off-path cycling trip I have ever been on, (20 miles.) I went between riding through residential neighborhoods, connecting paths, and connecting roads that would lead me to and from my destination. I was extremely proud of myself for pushing myself so hard and for being strong when I wanted to give up. However, on this 2 hour journey, 3 separate groups of men heckled me from their cars/porches. I literally did nothing to antagonize an attack, but it bothered me every time it happened. This made me realize that these people did not care that I was having a defining moment of strength and perseverance and they wanted me to feel low for simply riding my bike past their line of vision. This made me wonder: how have other people lessened your feeling of triumph when you've needed it most? Why do people feel the need to discourage when they could easily encourage with the same amount of energy? | Rode 20 miles on my bike. Instead of remembering my success, I remember the hecklers that yelled at me as I rode past. What is your experience in other people mindlessly lessening your success? |
t3_id04u | AskReddit | Help Me Save My Friend! | My best friend just got this online girlfriend, and it's totally ruining him. He is now pawning action figures to take a Greyhound to visit her, and pay his multitude of bills. He seems to be less concerned with finding a job, and when we hang out he's either fighting with her on the phone or telling her how much he loves her on the phone. He's only been aware of this girl's presence on Earth for about a month and a half and they already say "I love you." Every time I try to talk to him he says that it either "doesn't affect [me]," or that I'm "jealous." I'm glad she makes him happy, but at the same time she is causing him to neglect the real world. The other members of the friend group have tried to talk to him, but it is met with the same resistance. We are genuinely worried that he's throwing his life away over a girl he barely knows. Again we support him having a girlfriend, even if we have to sacrifice hang time, but his neglect of his own needs gives us great concern. We feel the relationship has moved WAY too fast, but he won't listen. What should we do? To illustrate the level of denial we're dealing with I will provide an exact quote.
Herp: "Sometimes love is stupid." | Best friend is balls deep in a girl he's known for 1.5 months. It's a long distance relationship. He's neglecting the real world. |
t3_m36hx | relationships | I love my boyfriend but I think I may be falling for someone... Help! | Here's the story; I'll try to be brief:
Me, f18, boyfriend 21. We are in an LDR (been dating for 8 months, LDR for about 2.5) while I'm away for school this year. We are very, very much in love, and very similar people. He is my first real boyfriend, and is the first (only) person I've had sex with.
We recently decided to try opening up the relationship to casual sex on either end. We are both really, really horny people, and we get really stressed if we don't get a sexual release. We think that doing an open relationship in an informed and communicative way will help us alleviate that strain without dishonesty. Furthermore, my boyfriend has a fetish of wanting me to fuck another guy and tell him about it/have him watch.
So here's my problem: the guy I had originally picked out to seduce/have sex with is becoming a very good friend, and I think I might be falling for him. We haven't actually had sex (yet), but every day I feel myself being pulled toward him more and more. I didn't think it was possible that there is someone out there who is a better match for me than my boyfriend, but now I'm second-guessing myself. I think about my friend all the time; I'm constantly having to restrain myself from texting him constantly. It is very difficult for me not to think about him.
I don't know what to do. My brain is so discombobulated right now and I have nobody to talk to about this. Any advice will help. | LDR boyfriend and I recently decided to try a sexually open relationship, but I think I might be falling for a friend/fuckbuddy. FML. |
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