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t3_2kmesa | tifu | TIFU by throwing a rock | So back in the good old days of Middle School, I was a pretty awkward kid and when outside during gym, I was talking to this kid who is from Russia. Then one day he gave me this "rock", that is what I thought it was. He was showing me it and I was like "wow, cool rock" and then I threw it when I was on the track. Now, I am a baseball player and when he gives me this rock, I did not think that he would have an emotional attachment to this rock. Apparently the rock broke and shattered everywhere in to little pieces. He tells me it was a piece of rubble at Stalingrad and it was the only thing that his parents had from Russia. I have never seen someone get anymore mad and he fainted after yelling. I had to explain this to the teacher and she asked why I threw it, and I said "It looked like a rock...". He moved shortly after that but he moved back to my high school and he doesnt talk to me at all. | Russian guy gave me a rock that was a piece of rubble from Stalingrad and I threw it, shattering it. |
t3_3d3idp | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 M/F] 2 years, I found texts on her phone. | So me and my girlfriend were having a nice day at her place watching the last Starwars movie, she had never seen them. Well while she was setting up her laptop I lost my phone somewhere in her mattress, so I used hers to call myself to find it. Out of habit I guess I put her phone in my pocket.
Skipping ahead, I got home and texted her that I got home fine , only to hear her phone chirp from my pocket. No biggie, I called her mom so I could let her know I took my girlfriends phone by accident.
Then she gets a text from an old co-worker. It was an innocent response to her asking him how the weather was. But I never liked the guy, he always talks about how hes the type to never settle down. How much of a player he is and that his type of girl is one with a big ass, which my girlfriend has.
What bothered me was, the rest of the messages were deleted. I know deleting messages isn't a habit hers. They no longer work together. She texted him first.
I immediately confronted her about it. She says they're just friends and she was worried about how I would respond if I found out. She wants to talk face to face so shes coming over tomorrow. | My girlfriend deleted texts between her and another guy. I'm hurt and now it's stuck in the back of my mind. I feel like I can't trust her, what do I do? |
t3_4n0bld | relationships | Me [25 M] having trouble grieving, feeling as if I'm not grieving enough | I don't know if I can submit this to this subreddit, but you've helped me before so I will try.
I lost my mother in 2013. I always had a bit of trouble grieving because I have trouble expressing my emotions openly to family, my SO, etc. But I sought help and everything was going well. Then I left the country for a year. When I came back last week I knew that the first thing I needed to do was go to the cemetery to see my mother. But I kept putting it off, day after day after day. For some reason it was just so hard to do it. I've had this feeling before when I returned to my hometown. I finally did go to the cemetery but I was only there about 10 minutes. I feel like this behaviour is so disrespectful to my mother. Why can't I just get myself to go to the cemetery like a normal person and poor my heart out? I sometimes wonder if after 3 years my grief has begun to disappear? I don't know if that's normal or not. It feels so wrong. I love my mother and miss her every day. I feel like I'm a disrespectful son. | Mother passed away but having trouble going to the cemetery to visit, and feeling like that is incredibly disrespectful of me and struggling to cope with it. |
t3_1ffexd | relationship_advice | (23/m) My girlfriend (23/f) won't let me tell her I love her | My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for the last 3 months and things have been going really well. A couple of days ago whilst we were in bed, I wanted to tell her that I love her for the first time. She was looking at me and knew what I was thinking and told me not to say it. I asked her why and she seemed evasive and we dropped the topic and cuddled.
I'm upset that she doesn't want me to tell her how special she is to me and how I feel about her, but I know she's had bad relationships before and could just be linking 'I love you' to something terrible. She was repeatedly cheated on in her last relationship for over and year and was tentative when we started dating, but I told her that if she wasn't comfortable with anything, then I wasn't either.
Should I tell her how I feel about this? Or should I drop the subject entirely as she already knows how I feel without having said the three words, until she lets me know she's ready?
Any advice would be great. | Girlfriend of 3 months knows I love her, but won't let me say the words, possibly because of previous bad relationships and it's playing on my mind. |
t3_33hvhi | relationships | My [F18] boyfriend [M18] overheard me joking about his height. Now he's angry with me. | My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now. We have a pretty good relationship, and we make each other happy.
About a week ago, I had my girl-friends over to my apartment. We just talk about anything and everything. At one point the subject of my boyfriend's height came up (he's pretty short, about 5'3/5'4). We were all just joking about it, nothing serious. Later, my boyfriend said he came over to surprise me with something and he overheard us.
It happened a week ago, and he's still acting distant. I don't think it's should be a big deal. He is short, that's a fact, we were just joking around. What do I do? | My boyfriend overheard my friends and I joking around about his height. He's angry with me about it. What do I do? |
t3_2rt2l2 | tifu | TIFU by being slow while my cute neighbor tries to meet me | So, I have this really cute neighbor in the building were I moved. Every other morning, and sometimes at the end of the day, we coincide in the hallway of our complex. We usually say "hi" and all that polite stuff that you are suppose to say. I'll admit that I have a little crush on her.
Today after me dying to get to meet her (I have few friends in this town, so a new one wouldn't be bad), she initiated by asking me stuff from the stairs (I was down in the parking lot):
* Her: Hey, so what do you do?
* Me: I surf reddit (*not really*)!, why?
*not sure why the hell I said "why?", perhaps I was tired or I just don't have social skills. I should have said "what about you, I''m Mr-Quagmire, BTW"*
* Her: I'm just curious, we always meet at the same time.
So I went up, she continued to her apartment and we met at the hallway again:
* Her: I write stuff, that's why meet at the same time. Have a good night.
* Me: Bye, Bye. | I have a little crush with my cute neighbor, she tried to get to know me. I was dumb and didn't answer how I was supposed to. |
t3_12npvv | relationships | I (f, 30) am angry at my partner (m, 30) all the time to the point where I want to break up, but because I'm depressed, I don't trust my judgement right now. What Should I do? | I'm depressed, and I have started seeing a counselor, but for now, I'm still depressed and part of that means that I am angry/ sad A LOT.
And that's why I don't trust my emotions much these days.
I am angry at my boyfriend a lot these days, too.
We've been together for 4 years, but only moved in together, started a joint account and all of that in January.
Lately, so much of what he does/ or doesn't do irritates me to the point where I am almost constantly angry at him.
Here are some examples. I wrote him a love letter. And he's had it for a week. He still hasn't read it. The other day, he had to tell someone my birthday and got it wrong. He stays up till 5am rather than get a good night's sleep. We got a hotel room and he told me it was 60$ and in our bank statement it says it's 75$. I don't know why and when I ask him he gets pissed off because apparently, I have an accusatory bitchy tone of voice which makes him not wanna talk to me.
When I think about a lot of this stuff, I don't know why I care. Or why I care NOW. I am just so annoyed about EVERYTHING all the fucking time.
And I feel like breaking up. But I also don't know if that's how I really feel or if that's partially the depression talking. I will obviously talk about it with my counselor next week, but I'd like to get some input right now for you guys.
What should I do? | ! I am depressed and don't trust my emotions. My LT boyfriend annoys me all the time now and I feel like breaking up. What should I do? |
t3_236fyc | relationships | Me [19M] with my Girlfriend[19F] of 5 months. Feeling like she cheated on me... | So at Christmas I started seeing a girl. Our first date was 23rd December. I instantly liked this girl so much, couldn't wait to see her next. Over the next couple of months I saw her a lot, finally made it official early February when I told her I loved her. She took a week to say it back.
Yesterday I was talking to her and asked her to be honest with me, I asked her if "since we have started dating, has she done anything sexual with another guy" because I for some reason got a hint she might of. She told me that she would never do something like that while we are together but she did when we first met.
I asked her what and she said "Sex". That destroyed me. I then asked her when was the last time to which she said she didn't know, "around Christmas". I then asked if she had sex with this guy after we had, had sex for the first time. She again said she didn't know it was just around that time. It gives me hint she might not be telling the full truth and it carried on for more than just a little session at Christmas...
I am still talking to her cause I am madly in love but I can not stop thinking about that, and how she was just being friends with benefits with this guy, even when I was dating her and falling in love with her. I am thankful she was honest but I just can't look at her in the same way now. I really don't know what to do, how to stop my feelings being this way. I have tried ignoring it, I can go hours talking to her about something else completely forgetting but then I remember and it breaks me down again.
I have a holiday booked with her in July and I really do love her, so much it is unreal, it's killing me just writing this thinking what she has done. I even understand that we were just dating at the time, but it still feels like I was cheated on...
Any advice would be grateful! | Not sure if I have been cheating on and that I feel so bad I just don't know what to do :/ |
t3_2qilq9 | relationships | Mom [57 f] says I [21 f] have no problems because I am pretty. | I'm home on winter break and have been spending a lot of time with my mom. She doesn't have a job at the moment (my parents just moved towns) so I literally have spent almost all of my time with her.
One day we were out and she said that she noticed that there are a lot of days where I'm just not myself. I immediately thought to myself *she knows me better than I thought she did. Maybe this can be a time that I can talk to her about my somewhat depressive tendencies that have been weighing down on me quite a bit.*
She then continues with "You need to learn to be happy with yourself. You're pretty, you don't have any problems in your life."
Not what I was expecting at all. I told her that that wasn't true and that my appearance doesn't affect my life or feelings. We got into a huge argument about it and she insisted I need to get over it and that my life will always be good because of my appearance. | Mom says I don't/ won't have any problems because I'm pretty. She let this be an excuse to be dismissive of my depressive tendencies. Am I in the wrong here? What should I say to her? |
t3_4kxwuw | relationships | My bf (19 m) of 1 1/2 years still says he loves me (18 f) and I still love him, but there are times when I feel detached. | Basically I still love him and I still enjoy our relationship, but sometimes I just feel like it isn't worth my time to continue being with him because of silly little things he does; for example he was driving us home from the store the other day, and he made an extremely careless left turn that almost resulted in a very bad crash. Everything ended up being fine, as the oncoming car saw us in time and slowed down. After we got on the road and calmed down, I told him how scared I was when he did that and all he said was a very sad sounding "sorry" which I guess is expected? But he continues to say sorry for the rest of the day and like doesn't let it go. And the part about that that I don't understand/agree with is that when he gets into that mode of just feeling down and saying sorry constantly whether it's for something serious like the above, or even something as small as forgetting to put the toilet seat down, I always try my best to cheer him up and remind him it's ok, everybody makes mistakes sometimes, and I'm not mad at him or anything, but Everytime I say sorry for doing something, like accidentally burning breakfast or leaving all my stuff on the bathroom counter etc he like freaks out and just hugs me super tight (I don't mind hugs, but I'm talking bruised arms and back from these hugs) and says "DONT SAY SORRY" and I just feel like I'm doing something wrong and the more I think about this the more I worry about the future of our relationship.
also of note: this is my first relationship, and he does have anger issues that we are working on getting him some kind of therapy for. | relationship feels a little one sided, I don't know what to do about that to strengthen our relationship or being up this issue to my bf. |
t3_24y99p | tifu | TIFU by (trying) to cook a pizza | Today, (yesterday, actually) I was making my sister a pizza after she got home from school. It was a stouffer's one, and I chose to do the option where you put it in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes then in the oven at 475ºF for five minutes.
The microwave part went okay. Then, I tried to transfer the hot pizza from the paper towel I microwaved it on into the tin foil in the oven. That part did not go okay. The pizza was fucking hot, the oven wouldn't open all the way, and the pizza kept sticking to the paper towel.
I dropped the fucking pizza, along with the paper towel, into the oven. The towel hit the bottom coils and caught on fire. Reflectively, I picked up the towel and blew out the fire. The fire at the bottom of the oven went out when the rest of the towel turned to ash.
I turned the oven off and just gave her the half-cooked pizza, and apologized for the burn mark on the bottom.
I never was going to tell anyone besides my boyfriend what happened, but I left the burned, ash paper towel in clear view by accident and my mom found it and figured out what happened. She is a lot smarter than me.
This isn't the first time I caught something on fire, but it will hopefully be the last. I was banned from using the stove because of an incident last year also. I'm so happy my ferocious blowing kept my beloved house from catching on fire :( | I am a dumbass and caught a paper towel on fire. I am now no longer allowed to use the stove (again). |
t3_27mqm7 | relationships | I [18 M] wish I knew what she [17 F] means. She is one tough cookie. | I've been talking to this girl [17 F] for awhile. When we started talking it was amazing. We could talk about anything. This lasted about 2 months.
Then all of sudden she started pushing me away. It was a little harder to talk to her. The couple times I made plans with her to hang, she initially said yes but the day before it would fall apart.
She finally told me she wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment. The problem is she told me she isn't the girl I deserve. There's a different girl that I don't know.
I don't know what she means by that. I want to know and I would like to pursue her. I'm willing to wait until she's ready for a relationship but I don't know if that's what she means. I have no clue if this what she means or not. | She randomly started pushing me away and told me she's not ready for a relationship and that I deserve a better girl. No clue if I should wait and keep pursuing her or not. |
t3_2b88ey | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [19 F] of one year, we are currently long distance over the summer and things are getting rough for me. | We have been long distance for the past two months due to summer vacation and we still have one more month left to go. In the past few weeks our communication has dramatically decreased and she just doesn't seem very into our text messages anymore. We have only skyped a couple of times in the past few weeks and at the start of the summer we were skyping 3 to 5 times a week. I miss her so much and I feel like a piece of my heart is missing.
I can't tell if she just isn't interested anymore or if I am being more clingy and if that is making her distant in itself. We have visited each other a few times over the summer and on my most recent visit I brought up these issues and told her that I love her with all of my heart and that I need to know that she is going to be there for me in a month when she is moving back. She told me she still loves me, but our communication hasn't seemed to improve much.
Is she not in love anymore or do you think she just needs some space? How can I keep going throughout this next month without feeling like a piece of me is gone? How do I get her to not be on my mind 24/7? | Long distance relationship over the summer. Girlfriend seems to be getting distant but says she still loves me. Is she still in love? Does she just need her space? |
t3_3xvuxg | tifu | TIFU by accidentally rubbing a friend's Dad-less Christmas in her face | This morning, I woke up thinking about an incident involving a few of my friends. A borrowed B's iPad to read a book and found B-F were being nasty about her in a DM convo on Twitter, which hurt A really badly. It was a mess. A told me about it a couple of months ago.
As I usually do when I wake up thinking about a thing, I tweeted about it--or subtweeted, in this case. I'm still angry on behalf of A even though I consider B, C, and D friends too. (E and F can go to hell.) B sent me a DM that rightly called me out for being subtweeting shitsock (I started subtweeting knowing I was such a shitsock, but ANGER) and elaborated on how the past few months have seen her struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. She's been doing especially badly the past few days because it'll be her first Christmas without her dad, who died a few months ago. Panic attack, sobbing, and the whole works of grief. I had no idea about any of it since she keeps that stuff off Twitter and we're really only Twitter friends and never talk about anything deep or personal. Oops? | I suck, my timing sucks, and tweeting while angry should be a prosecutable offense sometimes. Probably just lost a friend too. |
t3_4j31g7 | tifu | TIFU by trying to watch fireworks | So this happened to me on 4th of July last year. My friend was having a BBQ at his house for 4th of July. My friends and I decided to start drinking at like noon that day, so by the time the fireworks came on we were pretty smashed. So it's about 9 PM and the fireworks are just starting. We are standing out in front of his house only getting glimpses of fireworks because there is a tree blocking our view. I decide I could see it better if I got on the roof. So I run back in the house put on the first pair of shoes I can find ( which were my friends who is a size 13, I am a size 10). I go out to the back yard by myself and start to climb an eight foot ladder. I start climbing with a beer in my hand, pumped that I'm gonna get a really good view of these fireworks. I get to the top of the ladder and start making my way to the roof when all of a sudden I get a sober thought thinking this is probably a bad idea. I'm on top of this ladder trying to get down when all of a sudden I feel the ladder start to tip. I really don't remember how I fell but I'm pretty sure I landed on my ankle first then face first into the ground. I still had the beer in my hand so it wasn't a complete loss. My friends come running to the back yard and there I am blood gushing out my nose. I try to stand up and immediately sit back down because my ankle was fucked. I get cleaned up and it's clear that my nose is broken, so my friend who is a Navy Medic decides to set my nose back into place, mind you he was drunk as well. Well yeah that's a 4th of July I will never forget. Sad thing is, I didn't even get to see the fireworks. | Got drunk, wanted to watch fireworks from roof, fall off ladder, break my nose and fuck my ankle, no fireworks :( |
t3_3ptkxq | relationships | Me 19M with my divorced parents (for over 7 years) who hate each others guts are asking me to lie to the other. | So my parents went through a nasty divorce that left both my mom and dad with only hatred towards eachother. I was caught in the middle of it. As I matured through my life I realized that taking sides was childish and not something a kid should do to either one of his parents so I decided to maintain a neutral relationship with both of my parents being very careful to not bring attention to my neutrality.
My mother over the years has been consumed by her hatred of my father and still to this day tells me that he's a POS and I need to choose a side. She knows that now since I am in college, she cannot form my opinions for me. She has threatened multiple times to cut me off and every time she doesn't follow through with that threat and we go through a period of peace so to speak.
My father has always been there mentally in terms of guidance but has never been financially supportive and recently I have moved into the aforementioned peace period with my mother after a recent fight that almost broke us apart. I was forced to resign from my job as a server and money has been a struggle to come by. My dad says he will give me money as long as I won't tell my mother about it. My mom can't afford to give more than what she gives now, but I feel bad about having to lie to her in order to stay afloat financially. What should I do? | financial trouble in college, previously absent dad (monetary support wise) offered to help as long as I don't tell my mom. |
t3_own25 | loseit | Is it healthy to have a big breakfast and taper off your calories for the rest of your day? | I woke up this morning and hadd all the ingredients to make a very [/r/keto](/r/keto) breakfast and it was all healthy food but my calorie total was around 700cals. Im allowing myself 1700-1800 a day.. im M, 6'1" 260lbs. I had two eggs scrambled, 1 tsp EVOO, a tbsp of salsa, tbsp of shredded mozz on top of the eggs, 3 slices of bacon, bowl of fruit (1 pear, 1 banana, 1 small orange), and a small handfull of mixed nuts(no peanuts).
My question; Is is ok to eat a Hearty breakfast ~700cals and taper off my meals calorically for the rest of the day.. like a lunch at 500, dinner at 400. and maybe 100 cals worth of snacks or in between meals? My end goal is weight loss. going for a keto/paleo approach for the most part. | Is it ok to start breakfast off with high calories and taper off my calories per meal for the rest of the day? |
t3_3q4lb4 | tifu | TIFU by racing my friend. | So today I fucked up by racing my friend down a main road late at night on the way to his apartment.
It started when we were on our way back from Wal-Mart and did some innocent revving at a stop light. Well it didn't stop there the light turns green we both slam down on the gas and just start hauling ass down this road. As we got close to where the entrance for his apartments should be we slow down getting ready to turn.
Next thing we know we can't see the reflectors on the rails he keeps going I say fuck it and try to slow down enough to make the turn and my wheels decided to lock up and turn me right at the rails, I slam into the rails going maybe 40-45mph and decimate my car. I just slammed my head into my steering wheel and couldn't really think about what just happened and the fact that the front half of my car was hanging over a good 20ft drop into water. | I raced my friend down a main road tried to make a turn that he passed up cause speed and totaled my car by slamming into a flimsy ass railing over a decent drop into water. |
t3_vzuce | AskReddit | DOE think that r/atheism is a giant circlejerk? | I don't mean to be a dick but its true. Before you may downvote, just hear me out. I being a religious christian (Yea! more downvotes) have my own views on religion just like everyone else. I also respect views of Agnostics and Atheists. I do know, and am good friends quite a few atheists and they do agree that r/atheism is a circlejerk. On the contrary their are areas I don't mind, like if atheists want to discuss it and their beliefs. I have commented in a post from r/atheism before and I have had conversations with respectful atheists, however there are many areas I dislike very much about r/atheism. r/atheism seems to give of a arrogent vibe thinking that just because they use theory and evidence instead of faith they are right 100% of the time. This gets to me, and to me it seems like a place where atheists just place all their theories and points bashing on everyone else. I'm not hating on r/atheism because I do agree with points on religion like religious institutions should give more money and be less greedy. However in the end I feel like r/atheism is just a circlejerk for atheists who have to use satire (against other belifs) to justify themselves.
To all those redditors subscribed to r/atheism and those un-subscribed tell your views. | Although a agree with some points of r/atheism for the most part I think its a circlejerk that hates on religion for no reason. |
t3_4cd1bv | relationships | Me [20 F] wanting to date best friend [23 M]: told him to hook up with other chicks? | I recently got out of a 2.5 year relationship, partly due to the feelings I had for my best friend/old flame. Long story short, I had cancer and then current boyfriend was not supportive in the least. My best friend was and I realized I had feelings for him, and that I always had.
Upon realizing this I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, did not take it well as you can imagine.
Took this time to get healthy and grow, becoming the person I want to be, and be in a fantastic place emotionally. Also, I took the opportunity in becoming even closer with my friend, and I realized that I would really like to date him.
As of right now, we are in the weird hooking up phase. He recently got out of a relationship himself. I spoke with him regarding exclusivity, and expressed I was okay with him hooking up with other females as long as he used appropriate protection.
He didn't express that he was interested in doing that, but we are young and I told him to live it up and get it out of his system, as I am not ready for a relationship yet but want to be with him someday.
I see myself with him for the long haul, but did I sabotage things by giving him this opportunity to hook up without guilt? Is he going to think I'm not serious about him or that I'm just completely out of my mind? Seriously questioning my sanity at this point lol.
I just had a serious health scare, I want to focus on myself as there are still aspects of myself I want to improve upon. But I really do see marriage, kids, the whole shebang with this dude, and have communicated this. | Told the guy I want a relationship with I would be okay with him hooking up with other girls, don't want that suggestion to sabotage the future |
t3_2vomwl | relationships | I (27f) would like my bf (36m) to lose weight. What is the kindest, most helpful approach to take with this? | Mike (as I shall call him) and I have been together for a year now. He is quite a bit older than me, but we have a very happy, healthy relationship. We met through school (we are both working on our Master's), and so we spend a lot of time supporting each other in schoolwork. We both lead super busy lives, with school and work, but find time for each other.
Here's the problem: Mike is about 50 pounds overweight. He wasn't as heavy when we first started dating, but he has been steadily gaining. It bothers me somewhat now and I imagine it will bother me more as his weight increases, or as he starts to become less attractive/show his age in other ways (like balding).
Mike would like to lose weight. He mentions it now and then. I don't think he knows how to, though. He comes from a family of obese people and knows next to nothing about health and fitness. He has a lot of misconceptions about weight-loss and diet. He seems to think that the answer to his problems is to run on a treadmill for 30 mins a day and eat gluten-free foods. Obviously, this is not working for him.
I am very fit. I have a pretty clear idea of what sorts of things Mike needs to actually do to lose weight- what foods to cut out, how much to exercise, etc. I have been hesitating to tell him my thoughts about this, though, because,
A.) I don't want him to question my attraction to him. I don't want him to feel insecure about himself or unsure of our relationship.
B.) I don't want to seem controlling/demanding in telling him how many calories he should be eating etc.
C.) I know he's really busy and stressed with school and work, and I don't want to make his life harder.
What do you think is the best way to get him to realize that losing weight is really important, and then to actually find a way to do it? | bf is overweight. How do I encourage him to lose weight in a way that doesn't make him feel too bad about himself or our relationship? |
t3_23u5gp | relationships | Would it be wrong for me [f20] to ask him [m23] if he is seeing other girls? | I met him about 5 months ago but he and I don't call each other boyfriend/girlfriend.
He and I have sex whenever we see each other (we see each other 1-3 times every 2 weeks). We have recently started holding hands and during sex, when he talks dirty he will say "you're mine now." I'm not sure if he's only saying that just during sex but I personally have implied it to our relationship as well :P (not sure if I shouldn't?) But even in texts, he will tell me he misses me and compliments me.
He admitted that he used to sleep around. I have heard rumors about him as well, but I don't judge people on their sexual history so I tried not to judge him. When I asked him about 2 months ago if he was sleeping around his response was "No... but I could see why you would think that."
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't paranoid. I'm starting to feel like he is sleeping around with other girls. Recently, I borrowed his phone for a bit to make a call. Within that time, I saw that he got 2 snapchats and a text from a girl. I thought of it as nothing much, because he has a lot of girl friends.
I grew increasingly paranoid about it the last few days, and went on his facebook profile to find out that the same girl posted a picture of them together at a museum and the movie theatre in the same day. I don't know about you, but a museum and movie sounds like a date-kinda thing. I realized that he didn't text me at all that day either, when we usually text the whole day.
I don't know if it's worth bringing up- I don't want to sound like I am accusing him or sound like I am clingy or like I am some sort of stalker..
The thing that stops me from asking him is that we're not exclusive.. We've never agreed to be. Is being exclusive to each other implied? I'm so confused.
Help! Thoughts? What should I do? | the guy I'm sleeping with might be seeing other girls. We might not be on the same page but I dont want to ask because I don't want to come off as accusing/clingy/stalkerish |
t3_1g7ohy | relationships | My [21M] SO cheated on me[20F] using R4R | My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost a year now- recently he was switched to a third shift so he's up late when I'm sleeping.
Earlier this week I noticed that when I attempted to type reddit into my address bar, it autofilled with /r/r4r. I was a little taken aback, and I confronted him about perusing personals. Two arguments followed, him denying looking for a sexual or romantic connection. He was just lonely and looking for a platonic connection at 4 am because everyone was sleeping. So after being assured twice that he was doing no wrong, I attempted to let it go.
The day after, I opened my laptop and he was signed in on Skype. I figured it wasn't going too far if I checked out the recents and if nothing was out of the norm then to sign him out and close it. But he had an extensive conversation with someone that he met on the personals. After checking it out, I learned that he wasn't just trying to jerk off with someone else, but he was forming an oddly detailed pseudo relationship with this girl.
Now, I don't want to go too much into detail in fear of this turning into a hateful rant- I just have one question:
I want to extend a second chance and mean it. But I've never had my trust violated this way (albeit not the most nightmarish thing that can happen to a relationship) and I don't know how to come back from him lying to me and being in MY home on my laptop when cheating.
We've already talked and did the best to clear the air. But I don't know if this is going to habitual.
I don't know how to make myself open to a genuine attempt to repair the damage.
Are there any tips from anyone who's been there, done that and successfully moved past it while staying together? | My boyfriend cheated on me on Skype and I need pointers to keep my cool and how to healthily try a second time. |
t3_2e81b5 | relationship_advice | Should I [18/m] talk to a girl [17/F] I haven't spoken to in 6 years on Facebook? | Not sure if I should be posting here, as I was never in a proper relationship with this person, but there was a romantic element to the relationship. Thought it would be better posting here than /r/needadvice though, just in case. I apologise in advance if I've done something wrong with my post!
Basically, there is a girl I haven't spoke to in about 6 years and I think I want to talk to her. I spoke to her a lot when I was bout 12/13 (I'm 18 now) and we used to be fairly close for a short amount of time. We only ever spoke on MSN messenger (remember that? haha) but we had pretty deep conversations for that age. She really liked me but she was in the school year below me and like a stupid 13 year old I thought that meant we couldn't be a thing. She's still on my facebook, so it's not like there's no contact at all and she still posts a lot of stuff on there. Every time she posts something, I become really curious about her and her life again. I really feel like talking to her again sometimes, but I'm never sure whether it's been too long since we've spoken or whether it would be weird/creepy for me to message her now. I've liked her a few of her profile pictures over the years and a few of her statuses but haven't ever messaged her, so pretty much no contact for 6 years. It probably wouldn't be romantic, but again, there was that element in the past so I thought I would post it here. Anyway, I've been unsure about this for months now, and I really don't know what to do. So what do you guys think?
And I also don't have a clue what I would even say. How do you start that conversation? | Haven't spoken to a girl in about 6 years. Still have her on facebook. Should I speak to her? If so, what should I say? |
t3_18ium2 | dating_advice | [16m] Never had a girlfriend and I can't decide whether to ask out girl A or B! | Right let's get to it, so there are two girls who I really like, both my age (16y/o), let's call them A and B.
In my opinion, I have more in common with girl A and I like her more. However, I think that girl B likes me more than girl A does. They are close friends and I feel that if I asked one out and got rejected I wouldn't be able to just go to the other. I feel that I have more of a chance with girl B, but prefer girl A!
Reddit, what do I do? | Two girls, I like both. I prefer A but feel I have a better chance with B. What do? |
t3_txih3 | AskReddit | Latching on to next doors wi-fi. Should I be concerned? | So, The company I work for has a REALLY annoying Internet policy that doesn't let me go to a lot of harmless websites (Flickr, twitter, blogs of any kind, forums, etc.) and our IT department is known for being really nosy. On top of that cellphone reception is bad and 3G is painfully slow at my office. So having an iPhone only helps so much.
Next door is a printing business (non chain, just one location) and they have a strong open wi-fi signal. I used to connect to that wifi with my personal MacBook, but I don't do that anymore, I connect to it frequently from my iPhone though.
For a while I stopped connecting to that wifi with my MacBook (and altogether really) because I got creeped out when someone I didn't know, and who I later realized was the copy place owner, started following me on twitter. I figure (hope) he must've figured out my name from my MacBook device name (didn't realize I had set it up the same as my twitter account name).
I watched all my other accounts closely since then but didn't find any other creepy activity after that. I made sure my MacBook was not set to file sharing without a password and whatnot but I stopped bringing it to work anyway.
That was almost a year ago, so I know the copy place is aware that other people latch on to their wifi and they still haven't password protected it.
I re-started connecting to it with my iPhone several months ago without any creepy issues that I could notice (right now though, I disconnected from it to submit this post). Should I he concerned about connecting to it from my iPhone? What dangers are there to doing this?
And (not that i would act on it or anything but), any creative ways to prank them maybe? | company next door seems to knowingly allow others to use their wifi. Should I be creeped out and avoid connecting to it with my iPhone? |
t3_2tdbc7 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] a few months LDR, I'm scared this will end up like my last relationship | I'm pretty down I just can't shake it off :/
well a little in site otherwise this story won't make much sense, My last bf also LDR he lost all interest in me and I got about one message a day until I broke it off, we were together almost a year.
My current relationship started out with us talking like 24/7 no joke, which I kind of wish it didn't happen that way because he's busy now, job, friends, games, so our talk time is cut a lot, today I only got messages from him...didn't even call.
I'm worried, paranoid about the whole thing. That it's going to end up like my last relationship and that I don't know what I could even do to change that.
I feel like I'm just being paranoid and that he is just busy at the same time I told myself that about my last bf, and also (selfish of me) I don't understand how he has time to play games with his friend but not a moment to call and say hello?
I'm just scared I'm going to end up in a sucky situation again
Notes: I don't have a fear he's cheating
He knows about my last relationship | Last relationship (LDR about a year) ended with him sent me one message a day he lost all interest in me. |
t3_1qitfp | cats | Need help with cat introduction | I just got a new kitten and I have 2 other cats. One is an outside cat, she stays there all day every day. She is allowed to come inside but chooses not too. My other cat who is an inside cat loves the outdoor cat but she will not let him touch her, so I figured that he was at least semi-okay with other cats as he REALLY would love to interact with the outdoor cat. The indoor cat absolutely adores our dog as well. Now that I've brought a new kitten in he has suddenly changed his ways. He does not like the smell of the kitten at all and I don't know what to do. I introduced them the minute I got home and am now realising that that was a huge mistake.
Does it just take time? Is there something I can do to make my indoor cat warm up to the new kitten? Or have I just made a mistake in getting a kitten all together? | Bought new kitten, indoor cat who is [semi]-okay with outdoor cat now hates all cats. Wait it out? |
t3_nxzus | AskReddit | Saw a girl with でメママヒそ tattoed on her neck. What does it mean? | My cashier today at walmart had でメママヒそ tattoed on her neck. I've casually studied Japanese for a while now. I'm not fluent by any means but I can understand most of what I read and hear.
I asked her "What does 'dememamahiso' mean?" She was confused and asked me what I was walking about. I indicated at her tattoo.
"It means Brooke in Chinese," she replied with a tone. Stupified, I tried again. "No ma'am, those are phonetic Japanese characters that--" she cut me off and said "ANYWAY, $17.23."
I told her I'm not sure why that upset you, but happy new year and I left.
I know don't what the hell it means, google and JWP have nothing.
Mixed hiragana/katakana aside, teme mama hiso could mean close to Your (derogatory version of your) mama is pathetic? If it was spelled hisou maybe, but the tattoo stopped at hiso.
ANY possible ideas? Did this ignorant Mississippi redneck chick just get fucked over by a tattoo artist making a quick buck? | Girl has a kana tattoo of her name using characters that vaguely resemble English letters and became upset when I told her the phonetic reading of said characters. |
t3_2nzqn4 | askwomenadvice | Can I get woman's point of view on my situation? | My ex of 4 years broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago because she said "It felt like it doesn't even matter if I was in your life or not" I stopped giving her my attention like I used to which was true I began to get comfortable. I did the entire do's and don'ts of break ups like beg, cry etc.
So I began NC, did it for 5 weeks I went to talk to her it was little weird at first but then it was ok small chats I tried to become her friend again, At one point I asked if I'm a nuisance talking to her she told me far from it I thought things was going great. Then one day during the week after NC she asked me do I really want to be her friend I lied and said yea. She said how can you go from being madly in love with someone to being just friends she told she doesn't feel happy talking to me all she feel is pain and anger. She told how her anger is building up so much just talking to me right now.
I tried to explain lets work it out and be friends but she wasn't hearing it. So I ask her two questions do you still think about me and will you block me from whatsapp. For the first questions she refused to answer then she agreed to unblock me from whatsapp.
I haven't talked to her since then for 4 weeks now, I want to give this one shot. During NC I got myself together dated partied bettered myself but I still miss her, I'm at the point that if she rejects me I can deal with it and get over it yea I will be little hurt and upset but not like the first time.
What I really need advice on is taking her to dinner. What I have planned is sending her 24 roses with an note just saying "Dinner?". I'm not putting her on the spot and if she doesn't want to talk she wont reply. Figure it's best if i get a woman point of view on my situation | Trying to make things right, is sending my ex flowers and her favorite chocolates with a note saying "Dinner?" the right move or would you recommend a different approach? |
t3_dnw38 | AskReddit | I want to know that I was wrong... Do I have the right to ask? | I've done some pretty shitty things in the last year- I have let a very good friend down in too many ways to count. I cut this person out of my life and kept some very important information from him.
We have not spoken to each other in several months and he has since moved away to I don't know where. Though it would be easy for me to find out where he is since most of my friends know, I have not asked because having him out of my life was my choice (one that I deeply regret) and he chose not to tell me (and I respect that).
The reason I wanted him out of my life was simply because of his drinking habits (long background/history supports my dislike of alcoholics in general). I want to know if he has stopped drinking. He told me a few months before he moved away that he had stopped and I was incredibly proud of him but sceptic. I know that he has quit before and fallen off the wagon.
I need to know that I was wrong. I need to know that my once close friend has been able to stay away from the drink that he so desperately wants. I want to know more than anything that his life is going in a good direction. Do I have the right to ask a friend how he is doing? I just want to know if he is still sober. I need to know that I was wrong for losing faith in him.
I would also like to know if he went back to school as this was something we talked about a lot, I'm just curious and don't need to know this. | Let a friend down, we no longer speak, I want to know if he's still sober, do I have a right to ask our mutual friends? |
t3_32dt3d | tifu | TIFU by spilling chocolate pudding on my bed | I go to college and I'm a 21F.
I spilled chocolate pudding on my bed. I ran out of paper towels, so I couldn't clean it up. So I ran to the campus store pick up some PT.
I come back home an hour later and I get a call from my mom. While I'm on the phone with my mom, I completely forget about the mess and I accidentally end up sit on my bed, where I spilled the chocolate pudding. Oh shit.
I hang up the phone to clean myself up when I hear a knock on the door. It's my boyfriend.
He comes in and unwittingly slaps my ass, which is still wet and brown from the pudding. He notices and I tell him "it's pudding, just wait in my room." To which, he reluctantly abides.
While I'm cleaning my ass, I hear a vague "What the fuck?" coming from my room and the sound of the front door shutting.
I go to room and see that the pudding I sat on made a small splatter on wall. It looked just like a shit splash.
I've only recently started dating my bf and I'm pretty sure he's no longer interested. I texted him, "It's just pudding babe." but no reply. Shit. | I spilled pudding and sat on it. It looks like I shat on my bed. My bf saw it and we haven't spoken since. |
t3_27cxts | relationships | Me [21 M] had recent break up with my 21 F girlfriend of 1 year due to lack of "passion" | She said that we had an amazing relationship, but the last month or so we started becoming more like a friendship rather than a relationship and lacked enough passion.
My question is: should I move on, or should I prove to her that I am capable of bringing in more passion and "couple stuff" to the relationship? I will admit that I started taking her for granted and we hung out a ton, but we never really did anything like go out to a romantic dinner date that often.
I won't see her until the Fall, but I feel like these 2-3 months will let both of us kind of reset. We will still hang out a lot due to unrelated circumstances from how we met/the nature of the break up, but I don't feel like this is the end for us. I believe that I can prove to her that I have what it | My girlfriend broke up with me for not being passionate enough/turning the relationship into a friendship. Is it possible to win her back? |
t3_skgy3 | relationships | My Girlfriend's Mom wants to talk to me without my GF knowing. Should I tell my GF? | So my GF of a year and a half and I (20 years old) are going through a break right now, and she has been really upset at me. I deserve it completely, as I haven't been the best boyfriend recently, and I need to work on my mental health, etc. I know her Mom quite well, and she really likes me. After we began the break yesterday, my GF and I were both really upset of course, and I got an email from her Mom at some point during the day telling me that my GF doesn't know she emailed me and that she would like to talk. I agreed and she is going to call at some point this evening.
Should I tell my girlfriend about this before her Mom calls? Am I betraying my GF's trust by not telling her that her Mom contacted me without her knowing? She could call any time, I would really appreciate your advice!! Thank you so much everyone! | My GF's Mom wants to talk to me without my GF's knowledge. Should I tell my GF before her Mom calls? If I don't tell my girlfriend, am I betraying her trust? |
t3_gjmc3 | AskReddit | Please. My family needs encouragement/legal advice. | My parents have been in court for the last three years. They divorced and have been fighting a custody battle for this long. I am over 18 so I can go where I want, but my brother and sister are not able to choose.
I live full time with my mom and she has temporary primary custody. I know me and my brother want to be with her, but my sister is one who wants to make everybody happy. The problem with my dad is his anger issues. Understand he's rarely hurt us physically. When we're around him we have to constantly on our toes, he'll find reasons to get mad sometimes. I don't know if he can be classified for any mental condition, I personally think there's something wrong with his behavior.
A social worker and psychologist have both said that he believes the kids should stay with my mom. The court system has screwed us over. Lawyers coax him into making moves that he can't win, with the promise that he'll get everything. When something doesn't happen in his favor he just extends the court date till later.
Please Reddit, we've been though this hell for three years. It's destroying our family. My mom's lawyer has requested another "substantial amount" after a payment of $18,000 was paid to him. He hasn't even earned that payment and explained this by saying that he wants to "show that he's keeping up with the other side." Whatever the hell that means. My mom got in an argument with him because of payments and he's dropped our case. She's basically given up on everything. I don't even know what that means, and neither does she. We all know the way things should happen but my dad won't stop until he wins.
What can my mom do? What does it mean to withdraw from a case such as this and do nothing? My mom is completely discouraged, she's been controlled by my father for their entire marriage. I just want to see things end the way they should. | My mom needs help, she's been fighting a custody battle against my dad, but he won't stop until he wins. She lost her lawyer and doesn't want to go on. |
t3_dsm94 | AskReddit | College Kids -- would you listen to a CD-R of music if someone put it on your door? | So I'm promoting a show at Ohio University (total college town) and I'm trying to think of ways to get some kids in the dorms interested. I feel like there aren't really many good bands that come through here, which blows my mind because there are 25,000 kids all within walking distance of like 5-7 different venues. I've taken the liberty of contacting some different booking agents for some of the bands that I'm into, and I was asked to set up a show. The bands are pretty accessible for college kids (real; talented musicians). I was thinking of printing off flyers on one side of a CD-R sleeve, and have the other side be the track listing and band info (music links/release info). The CD would have 2 songs by each band; one from an album and another live (all are professionally recorded). I won't post the bands so people think it's a plug for my friends or something, but say you had a CDR stuck to your door, would you throw it away or give it a listen? Would I be wasting time making 150 CDs to put on kids doors? Anyone know any better alternatives? Let me add that I'm by no means trying to make this my profession. I just want some good bands to come through my town, and I feel like I've got a responsibility to do so. | Promoting a show in a college town, how do I get kids to listen (once they listen, the music will sell itself) |
t3_46xkz1 | relationships | Me [22F] and my LDR bf [23M] of 6 months, wants me to meet his parents. Noob to parent meeting need tips on how to give a good first impression. | My bf and I have been going out for 6 months, and when I see him next during my Easter break it'll be a little over 7 months. He's really close with his family and they have their Easter family tradition where all the cousins, aunts and uncles all get together and celebrate Easter. His family is Catholic, 7/10 religious and he isn't. I was born and raised Muslim, but I'm not a very good one, so about 5/10 religious.
I've never met the parents of anyone I've dated. I just feel like it's such a personal thing, like I would only introduce the guy I want to marry to my parents. I told my bf this and he said to not worry, and that he's introduced girls he's been dating for as short as a couple of weeks to his parents. I'm also a really quiet and shy person around new people and I don't want to sit in a corner on my phone the entire time but I'm also not a very talkative or chatty person and I don't want to give off an awkward, stand-offish vibe.
So what are some tips or 'I wish someone told me that ...' on giving a good impression when meeting someone's parents for the first time? | Socially awkward butterfly meeting someone's parents for the first time. How do I not fuck up and make a good lasting impression? |
t3_uhphi | AskReddit | Dear reddit, what's the wierdest conversation you've overheard? | So i was going to see a buddy 30 minutes away by train, i sit down, turn up the music on my headphones, ready to chill for a little, but suddenly out of nowhere comes 2 male strippers (at least that's what it looked like) and sits down one row away from me. Both wearing the sickest leather outfits that outclasses any german letherhosen-porn on the internetz.
They just small talk, but after a while one of the guys says: "Yeah, that reminds me of our honey moon." Needless to say i almost shitted myself, so i turned down my music to listen a bit closer. (No, im not aginst gay marriage or gays in general, but the whole setting was like a bad porn movie, so...) They talk about some friends of them, another gay couple (Paul and Christopher), and that they can't wait to see them again on Bob's Pub (gay bar). Ding, next station is where im going off, so I get up and think: "I really hope i wake up and this will all just be a dream, if not.... HELL ITS GOING ON REDDIT!" Right before I get off, one of the guys says to the other: "I can't wait to find out how good Christopher has become after 2 years with Paul."
I stumble out. Dafuq did i just experience? | Was on a train, a gay couple with leather outfits comes in, talks about going to a gay bar and meet another gay couple to "have fun" with. Pictures of gay swinger couples now haunts me. |
t3_18msmp | relationships | I [m28] love my gf [f28] of 9 years but her weight gain has affected my physical attraction to her, resulting in sexual problems. | I really don't know how to deal with this. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 years and we're planning to get married over the next year. We're pretty good about communicating, but this is one subject that I just can't bring up with her. I need some advice.
Timeline - she's put on about 60 lbs over the past 5 years. Three years ago, I started a medication that diminished my libido, at which point she noticed that we weren't having as much sex, and that I was apathetic towards it. We blamed it on the medication, but in part it was because she had put on weight. I stopped the medication after two years, putting us at a year ago. Things picked up and we started trying new things and we were good for a while. We're now at a point where she's happy with the level of exploration that we've done and feels inadequate every time I suggest we try something new. The basic problem is that I'm so much less physically attracted to her that I only get turned on if we're exploring some fetish of mine, which she often refuses to do. We both recognize this disconnect, which she still attributes to the medication, which I haven't taken in a year.
Sex has become a more of a selfish endeavor where I try to satisfy my own kinks and bring her along because I am no longer physically attracted to her.
There are many more details, and I'd be happy to clarify anything in the comments. | Girlfriend put on weight, I am less attracted, sex is more selfish on my part to compensate, don't know how to be honest without mentioning how her weight affects my attraction to her. |
t3_2oci51 | relationships | I [M, 18] think my mom [F, 53] might be cheating on my dad [M, 54] | My parents have been together for more than thirty years now, and they're both devout evangelical Christians. I would never have suspected my mom of anything fishy, but a couple of days ago I saw a text on her phone, "Would it be weird if I said I wish I had a lock of your hair to remind me of your smell?" from a guy named H.
Since then, I've seen her texting H a few more times, but she always hides the phone when I come near so I haven't seen any more texts. I googled the guy's name, and he works as a masseuse at the place where my mom gets weekly massages. I got a chance to check her phone tonight, and the messages from H had been deleted.
So yes, I know I'm a horrible person for looking at my mum's text messages, but what should I do now? I think its pretty likely that she's having an affair, but I have no real evidence. Should I just forget about it and let my parents move on with their lives? This doesn't disturb me as much as I thought, possibly because my dad can be a bit of a dick and I'll be leaving for college next year, but I don't want my parents to break up, either. | Mom might be having an affair with her masseuse. No real evidence. Not sure if I should confront her, look for more evidence, or let things be. |
t3_4a904y | relationships | Me [27 F] with my father [62 M] and SO [30 M], he wants me to invite my estranged father to the wedding for the sake of his parents | My father is not a nice man. He has left us at many important junctures in life and never been anything more than an abusive alcoholic. Finally, 9 years ago, my mother, sister and I cut off all ties for good with that toxicity. He never attempted to get back in touch either.
I have been dating my current boyfriend for close to 2 years now. He has always known all about my childhood from the beginning. Few weeks back, we decided to tie the knot. It is important to mention here that we are both Indians so a marriage is more a family affair than between two individuals.
He hails from a typical middle class Indian family with regular values. So when the topic of meeting the parents came up, he started insisting that we make good with my father and involve him in the wedding affairs.
I made it abundantly clear always that neither I nor my family wants anything to do with him. He says I'm being unreasonable and inconsiderate of how difficult it will be for him to convince his parents of this match given my family background.
While I personally don't even mind doing this for his sake, I know it will hurt my mother and sister a lot if I even suggest it. And it's not for him as much as it is for cushioning his family's narrow views. | SO wants me to fix ties with my estranged father for the sake of his parents. Am I wrong in putting my foot down and refusing to do so? |
t3_20yr07 | relationships | Husband [23M] made fun of me [21F] during argument in front of our friend. | Some background info: We've been together 8 years, married for 3 and have a toddler.
We went to the beach with our toddler and a friend of ours. As we were leaving, we got into a small argument that somehow escalated into him telling me I'm only ever happy if we're having sex (not true.) I told him all he ever wants is sex and that he's a shallow jerk... Then he said, in front of our friend "me? shallow? I'm the one with a woman who weighs more than me!" I'm 5'1" and wear a size 14 jeans... I eat well and work out, but things happened and Rome wasn't built in a day... I got really upset of course, and we talked about it later. He said that he only said that because I "insulted" his personality, and that he knew that what he said would bother me. He said he loves my body and that I took it the wrong way...
Anyway, am I wrong to be so upset about this? | my husband made a snarky comment about my weight and I'm not sure if I should be as upset about it as I am. |
t3_vox5b | AskReddit | How could I find any information on a mysterious virus I has when i was kindergarten? (I was the first person in the United States to get it.) | when i was in kindergarten i got incredibly sick for a 6 month period. doctors kept dismissing it as the flu and i continued to get worse and worse. constantly throwing up blood, losing weight, ect. Finally i was diagnosed with a virus not yet seen in the united states. After i was properly diagnosed I recovered.
Since i was the first person to get said virus the doctors had to contact disease control ( or what ever the national disease data base for the untied states is called)
basically my mom is the one who relayed most of this info to me a few years after the fact. I dont really remember any of it.
Ive become increasingly curious about it as i get older, and does anyone know a way i can find more information about what i was sick with? | first person in USA to be infected with a mystery virus when i was little, looking for a way to find more info about it. |
t3_3cd695 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my [22 F] She is moving abroad for 1 year for work, potentially longer - Don't feel I can do long distance relationship. | My girlfriend for over 1 year has recently received a job offer to work in Saudi Arabia for a year. She's excited, the happiest I have seen her in a while. Im overjoyed for her that she's finally living her dream of travelling and am doing all I can to be supportive of her. She's also mentioned if it goes well she'd like to work for longer in other countries too.
The problem is I don't want to be in a long distance relationship, I hate the thought of it, for my own reasons I just don't think they work, regardless of how much the two love each other. That an us being so young , I am scared we will drift apart natrually the more time we spend together.
I know if I tell her I can't do a long distance relationship , she will not go and I would hate to stand in the way of her dreams but if I enter into the long distance relationship, I feel it will fail and hurt us both emotionally in the process. | Girlfriend moving abroad for a year, I don't want to be in a long distance, she doesn't mind. I feel If I break it off with her I will ruin her opportunity to travel - Help :( |
t3_1951qr | relationships | [18M] In college, got my first girlfriend. How do I behave? | I know this is a bit of an odd question but bear with me please. I have never really had a problem attracting girls, and throughout high school I was always going on dates with girls but never really going anywhere with them.
Now, in college, I met this girl [19F] at a school event and we talked a bit. I asked her on a date which went well, and we went on 3 more dates . I decided that I wanted to make things official because she seems like a keeper and I feel like we actually connected. I asked her about exclusivity and she said that it sounded like a good idea to her too. That was yesterday, the 23rd.
All sunshine and roses, except for the part that I've literally never been in a relationship before. How do I behave? How often to I talk to her? Do I make an effort to sit next to her at all times? How much space should I give her? The last thing I want to do is appear clingy but I fear that in trying to appear "cool" with it I will seem too aloof.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I want to start my relationship track record well. I don't know how many boyfriends she's had before but as far as I'm concerned that's none of my business and I want to keep it that way. | Met a good girl in college, went on 4 dates total, now exclusive, but I have no idea what I'm doing. Please advise. |
t3_3yye0y | relationships | How do I [25F] better support my boyfriend [26M] of 2 years when he's depressed? | I've been dating my boyfriend, "Jake", for two years, living together for the past six months. We talk very openly about everything, including our mental health; we both see therapists for different reasons (him for depression, me for anxiety).
Jake suffers from periods of depression, ranging from a few hours where he's crying and incapable of doing anything to a week of being unable to be interested in anything. During those times, I try to be as supportive as possible, sometimes to the detriment of what I need to get done (i.e. neglecting my own work or friends to try to listen to his feelings, make food, wash dishes, etc.).
I have kind of a problem-solver personality, which means that when something isn't working I want to "fix" it. The problem, of course, is that you can't just "fix" someone when they're depressed. Unfortunately, even though I know that, I can't help feeling like there's something that I could do right that would pull Jake out of his depression during those periods.
I feel terrible about this, but sometimes when he's depressed I get really frustrated that there's nothing I can do and even end up yelling at him. I know this is the wrong thing to do and that it won't help--his depression isn't about me--but that doesn't stop my feelings. Jake doesn't always want to be left alone, so I can't just remove myself from the situation. Do other partners of people with depression have any strategies for dealing with this? | When BF is depressed, I get frustrated that there's nothing I can do to help and sometimes take it out on him. How can I stop? |
t3_1t0sby | dating_advice | Reddit Style Hitch - AMA (All dating, hook ups, relationship questions answered) | So some background on me. I'm a 26M, and I've been in four relationships in my life. One for 1.5 years, one for 9 months, one for 4 months, and my current one for 5 years. Interspersed between those relationships, were some crazy years of dating and hookups and flings that were too many to count. However, from all those experiences, I became quite well versed in dating, how to make a relationship work, and hooking up.
I haven't been dating or hooking up, since I'm in a committed relationship, but I have been helping any and all of my friends with their dating. The problem is, I've actually been quite successul at it, so most of my friends are in relationships now (which I'm very happy about :D). But that leaves me with few to give advice to. One of my friends said I should start a blog to help single people who have had trouble dating. I decided that reddit would be a great place to start, just posting and helping others. I've been helping others, but I've decided a central place to give help would be best, so that I don't have to keep re-explaining my background, or trying to establish credibility.
So, please ask me any questions you want, for any advice. Whether it be for dating, hooking up, or making your relationship work. I can help guys and girls, with perspective, what someone might be thinking, what to do to convey a certain emotion, or what to do to get a second date, or help someone turn a close friend into more than a friend. | I've had a ton of experience in dating, been helping IRL friends with dating, but they all have significant others now, so I've decided to help redditors. Please ask me anything :) |
t3_39abra | Advice | Adderall addicted mom, uses sister to buy her drugs then plays dumb when dad sees money pulled out of his account. How do I break it to him? | Hello /r/Advice/, I need some help.
According to my sister, my mother has been forcing her to pull money out of my parent's bank account so she can buy adderall for her. She can't break it to my dad because he will most likely not listen to her (she hasn't exactly been a good role model in the past.) He sat her (sister) down today and asked her why there was $x being pulled out of his bank account every few days, she couldn't tell him what it was paying for, because my mother was right behind him staring my sister down like a hawk. We haven't been able to pay rent recently because of the missing money. My sister doesn't want to tell my dad what has been going on because she doesn't want to ruin her relationship with my mother. She told me all this about an hour ago and I told her to go stay at a friends house on account of our mother being a tad abusive. I couldn't care less about my relationship with my mother, but my father definitely has a right to know what has been going on, and this truth bomb I'm about to drop on him will no doubt shake the foundation of their marriage. | How do I tell my father that my mom is an adderall abuser without my sister getting flak from mom. |
t3_124y4j | loseit | r/loseit -> Would you be interested in a website that lets you scroll through before/after transformations? Would this be something you'd contribute to? | One thing that's helped me in losing weight is getting that little boost of motivation whenever I saw some of the amazing before/after transformations people have accomplished.
The way it'll work is simple; people will come to the website and be able to scroll through various transformations of people who lost weight, that's it. No 'social networking', no user accounts (well perhaps with the exception of those who upload photos), nothing complicated. The only bells & whistles I was considering was maybe a way to filter the photos by gender, height, amount of weight lost, etc.
So....what do you think? I was hoping to build it soon, but wanted your input/thoughts/advice first. Of course, the other reason I ask here is because I wanted to know if you (that is, those who've lost weight) would be willing to contribute their photos? | Would you be interested in a website that let you scroll through various before/after photos? Would those who lost weight contribute to it? |
t3_xutqk | AskReddit | Reddit, How much does one panoramic picture say about a group of people or a single person? How do you perceive ("sum up") someone based one picture? | Okay lets face it, even if we were taught "don't judge a book by its cover" it's something that we can't help but do. The second we meet someone, or hear the name of a person we know, we instantly think something about that person.
I took a picture of my friends tonight with a panoramic picture app for the iphone. After a long, adderall inspired, conversation about how we perceive people and how other people perceive us I was curious if it we could be more correct than we know each time we "sum" a person up.
Here are links to the pictures. The first one is panoramic and the second one is the flattened image.
Just post a comment describing what you think of everyone in the picture would be like based on how you perceive my friends. And i'll compare your perception based on one image to how on one image to how I perceive them | Just post a comment describing what you think of everyone in the picture would be like based on how you perceive my friends. And i'll compare your perception based on one image to how I perceive them as my friends. |
t3_1qk8cp | relationships | he[17F] has a long distance boyfriend[18M], but also likes me[17M]. | Hi, I'm a senior in high school and this girl I have been friends with for two years now has a boyfriend of one year (She is a junior, and he is a freshman in college, 4 hours away).
I liked her ever since I met her, but back then she always said she didn't want relationships with any guys ever since her last boyfriend. But last year I had to switch schools and she got a boyfriend while I was away.
I am back at my old school, but she had to go to a school not too far away from me, but we can still hang out. This year I talked to her and she said that she would date me if things didn't work out with her current boyfriend.
I also asked if she ever liked me at one point in our relationship of knowing eachother, and she said yes, but she didn't want a boyfriend at the time. I know I can make her happy, but I'm not sure what would be the right move.
So far I've just been hanging out with her, but I asked her to homecoming, she said yes, but her boyfriend said he didn't like it so she didn't go with me. I also asked if she wanted to go to a haunted house with me, again nope from the boyfriend.
She told me he's jealous of me, which I'm not sure is a good thing or bad thing. I also know she isn't putting out for him (she's still a virgin) and he goes to one of the biggest colleges in the state... I'm hoping the turkey drop might happen (they break up around thanksgiving) and then we move on from there?
But if that doesn't happen, would making a move on her be okay? I mean I know its not morally right but it would show her I'm serious about dating/liking her. | Liked my friend of two years, she has a long distance boyfriend in college, should I wait for them to break up or can I make a move to speed things up? |
t3_1tx1h4 | relationships | My [17 M] girlfriend [16 M/F] of 8 months cheated on me. I dont know what to do | The cause of this event is the fact that we haven't seen each other in five weeks as i have been in europe. However i do not blame myself in the slightest, this is entirely her fault.
Basicly during this time my gf went on a cruise with her family and during the vacation hooked up with some random dude. She came clean to me as soon we were able to get into contact and told me how sorry she was and guilty and upset she felt.
For this reason we want to try work things out as we haven't had a problem until now and being little naive me i love her and don't want this to end.
however i currently am unable to talk to friends now (and promised i wouldn't as of yet) and im a wreck due lack of sleep and a lot of conflicting emotions. So lovely people of r/relationships i guess this is me asking for advice and requesting a shoulder to cry on.
Cheers guys. | Gf of 8 months cheated on me. We want to work things out. I would really appreciate some advice and a shoulder to cry on. |
t3_3nfcai | tifu | TIFU by pissing on my tutor | Like most TIFU's, I'm starting this off with "Like most TIFU's, this was not today". This happened when I was about 7 years old. I used to go to a tutoring place with a bunch of kids everyday. The usual scheduled time for kids going to the restroom was about around 4pm. I drank a lot of juice or something that day, and I really had to go around 2. I asked my tutor if I could go pee and she was like "NO! Wait till 4 like all the other kids." That quote is not word for word since this happened years ago, but it was something along those lines. So an hour passed and my bladder is on its limits and I feel the pee starting to seep out. I was sitting at my table and I knew I couldn't wait any longer till 4. I resolved myself in taking a piss right then and there. Here comes the real fuck up though, I was 7 years old and had nothing but the thought of piss in my mind. So what was my most concerning thought before taking a piss? "OH NO!! I COULDN'T POSSIBLY GET MY PANTS WET". So by the force of my retarded logic I took off my pants, stood up and started taking a piss all over the table. Then my next 7 year old logic came in "OH NO I'M GETTING MY HOMEWORK WET", which then compelled me to turn around and spray my piss all over my tutor, and I'm pretty sure some students got pissed on too. I don't remember how everyone reacted because I was more preoccupied with if I got piss on the "important" things, but I'm sure my tutor had a face of absolute horror. After this, there was a huge commotion, a bunch of kids were crying and they had to call my parents up. I honestly never thought anything was wrong with what I did, until I recalled it years later. So I continued to go to the tutor for another few years. I now know why noone wanted to be friends with me there, and why I was the weird kid. Just thinking of it now makes me glad I didn't understand the concept of embarrassment. | I was at a tutor, really had to take a piss, thought the worse thing that could possibly happen was get my pants went, took my pants off, and pissed on everyone. |
t3_1dj3uj | relationships | How to deal with my[m28] occasionally insane gf[f22] | We've been together for 7 months. There are Times when my gf goes insane about random things. Today she apparently had a need to school me about our energy consumption which was even more ridiculous because I'm a BSc in power engineering.
We're about to have pizza. While sitting on the couch she asks me If the pizza is ready soon. I tell her it's not even in the oven yet. She goes crazy about how the oven has been on forever and consumes energy like a LHC. I tell her the oven is equipped with a thermostat and is pretty well insulated, and forever is more like 5mins so there's no need to go crazy. But crazy she goes and tries to prove my low heat waste theory wrong by turning on the empty microwave and telling there's no wasted heat coming from there either yet it consumes energy. I of course rush to save the sorry device. Then she proceeds to ask why I started yelling at her when she asked nicely about the pizza. I'm baffled.
Later she has gone to bed and I'm on the couch browsing with my phone. Suddenly she comes charging from the bedroom to shut the only 7 watt lamp that I had on for the comfort of my eyes. FYI my phone uses more power than that when in active use. While retreating to the bedroom she yells she has to pay the bill, which is correct though the bill is about 30 bucks a month and that's the only thing she's paid whole month while I've thrown more than a grand into food, gas and rent (because she just changed employer and has been a bit short).
This is but a scratch on the surface of our issues. I often find myself accused of things I've never said or done, but a scarier thing is I think she truly believes I've said/done them.
Then again when she's not this crazy psycho she's the cutest thing in the world so I'd rather try to solve the issues than walk away. | sometimes my gf is crazy know-it-all-while-really-not-knowing-anything who wants to lecture me and force apologies |
t3_hjej8 | relationship_advice | What do you do when you love someone, but you don't want to be with them anymore | Hey reddit.. a little backround
I'm 20 shes 18.
My girl and I have been together for about 1.5 years. Shes a serious sweetheart, beautiful, smart and extremely caring. I hate the term "fell in love" but I definitely love her, or care about her deeply for whatever that means.
Weve been having trouble for the last 6 months however. We argue alot, the majority of arguments because she wont give me any space. She wants about 300 text messages a day, and gets upset/mad if I dont fulfill her demand for texts.
If I dont reply for a few hours because I'm working or at school she gets pissed off and insinuates I don't care enough about her and makes all sorts of absurd comments that really have nothing to do with the situation. I can tell most of it is out of insecurity.
Our relationship is challenging because she has indian parents who don't know about me (racist again white people) which puts a huge amount of pressure on both of us.
I really care about this girl, but the relationship is no fun anymore I feel consistently nagged no matter how hard I try all I get is nagging about how I don't talk to her enough, or don't give her surprises, or enough attention or whatever.. it really seems to me like her nagging comes out of insecurity and I just don't want to put up with it anymore, shes too much to deal with.
She is also very moody (takes birth control) she'll be happy one second and sad/upset the next, almost to the point where she seems unstable. Being a really upbeat and happy guy this makes me feel down in the dumps all day.
She seems to care so much about me, she routinely tells me I am everything to her and her life would be ruined if I left her, she has even lightly alluded to hurting herself.
I don't know what to do reddit please help me. | My girlfriend is really sweet and a great person and I love her, but she doesn't make me happy because of consistent nagging and an overall unhappy personality. |
t3_4vqrwk | relationships | My boyfriend [28M] and I [27F] have very different views on finances and it's tearing us apart. | Hello r/relationships! I'm pretty sad right now and need some advice. My bf and I have been together for 4 years. Everything works out great between us except whenever the 'money' topic comes up, we will argue.
Last night, we were talking about his student loans and a huge argument came up. He has about $60k of student loans with ~7% interest. He has a job now and I think that his priority should be paying off his loans. He said he wanted to use some money to play stocks. I'm pretty against it because I don't think he can make a profit of 7% by putting money into Index Funds. Please note that I would be fine with him playing with stocks or whatever if he was debt free. He thinks I'm being too controlling over his money and we stopped talking.
From my perspective, it's irresponsible of him to not try to pay off his loan asap. I had $20k student loan and I paid it off as soon as I got a job. He knows that I would not marry him if he still had debts. And his view on finances scares me because I don't like having any debts at all if we are married.
What do you think? Am I being too controlling? | I think boyfriend should pay off his student loan ($60k) but he wants to play stocks. He thinks I'm trying to control how he spends his money. |
t3_27ed2j | legaladvice | [Michigan] My landlord totally misrepresented the house and the truth came out after signing the lease | My landlord, on a number of ocassions, has misrepresented the property before we leased it for the year. Most things we're fine with, just wish we would've been told about before. They were really nice at first when showing us the property but after the lease was signed they've been so slimey. The biggest concern, and the reason for my post, is that the ad in which we signed the lease off of and based on information when we looked at the house, said that there was central air conditioning. We moved in March 1st and it was still freezing, so we had zero reasoning to check on the air conditioning. Now that its June and the weather is getting really hot we went to turn on the air conditioning only to find out that we have none. She told us on the walk through that we had the air conditioner, and after we signed the lease she told us that we have to change the filters in the basement year around, otherwise it'll be added to our rent if they have to do it. So we have filters to change on an AC that doesn't exist, and we are two "high functioning, very sick" people who can not breathe in hot air. The landlord says its not her responsibility and that the website that featured the house can change the ad at will and nothing she can do about it. So now we have to buy air conditioners for the house, ANOTHER added expense due to their misrepresentation of the house. Neither of us would've signed a lease had she not told us and the ad (which is still up, although not listed as for rent) states that there was central air. We feel totally taken advantage of. ALSO, every window in the house is slider/horizontal windows so the A/C units that fit in them are like, no less then $400 which neither of us can afford.
Is there anything we can do legally to get her to either provide them or split the cost with us? ANYTHING? | my slimy landlord told us we had central air, we find out in June it was a big fat lie and are now forced to buy AC units that are affordable :( |
t3_4gbcp0 | relationships | I [M15] have fallen in love with my friend [M16], and I don't know what to do about it. | I [M15] have always liked girls, both physically and emotionally. About a year ago I thought that I might be attracted to guys, but I quickly dismissed that, realizing that if I had been, I surely would have noticed it by now. But recently, I have become good friends with another guy [M16], and I realized I was starting to develop feelings towards him, physically and emotionally.
I think he's funny, smart, and cute, but I have only ever felt this way towards girls before. My first question is if this makes me a bisexual. I know 100% that I'm attracted to girls, but this guy has made me start feeling those feelings, but towards him. It came as a surprise to me, and I feel like I could talk to him about it (he's gay, but not super open of it). Should I go ahead and try and talk to him about it?
Also, if I do want to try and get into a relationship with him, what do I do? I've always been good with making friends and such, but I'm horrible when it comes to romance. I know that I definitely do like him, and I don't know if I should tell him that, just let our relationship goes where it wants, or what. Does anyone have any advice? | I realized recently I like my friend, should I tell him about this, and if so, how would I develop the relationship? |
t3_4u84fj | relationships | I [16M] wanted to join my brother in MMA. He was over physical with me and I am not sure If I should tell mom | **Overly Physical**
My brother is 15 and his whole life he was excelled in Martial Arts. He is known as "Black". I don't know why, he is white so it must have some deeper meaning behind it.
I wanted to join my brother in Martial Arts to learn to defend myself. My mom allowed it and I went to my first lesson last night. The head guy in charge paired me up with my brother and he did not look happy. He told him to go easy and only do the basic routine for beginners. He thought it was best because we are brothers and I would feel more comfortable with him, which I did at the time.
He completely ignored the coach and my brother, I don't even know how to describe it. He took my legs out from under me, rolled through and placed his leg behind my knee in between my thigh and calf muscle and started to apply pressure. I have never felt pain like that before.
The coach pulled him off and said " What the hell is the matter with you Black?". He scoffed and walked off and this all happened last night. My calf is extremely sore and he spent the night at his friends house. I have no idea if I should tell mom or my sisters what happened. Because he should be home in the afternoon
I am honestly afraid of him because it felt like he was trying to rip my muscle off the bone. | Brother was overly physical with me to the point where I feel like he was trying to rip muscles in my leg. Don't know if I should tell my family |
t3_3wqgk8 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my ex-gf [26 F] 5 years, broken up 5 months, want to try again. | My ex and I did long distance for the last couple of years of our relationship. We broke up semi-amicably. I was unable to find gainful employment near her and she took that as I sign of a lack of commitment. We started getting into it over and over how 'I didn't show enough affection'. We finally decided to part ways. We talked the first month during the breakup, with her making comments about how 'she didn't think we were compatible enough and it worried her so much for the future if we tried again while I was away'. Now, I think we're compatible as we did well for 5 years. We talked here and there for the first month or so during the breakup, but only texts. I saw her after the first month and told her I would be open to trying again, and she said she was too scared to try again while I was away. The next day, she called to ask when my flight back home was leaving and that she was worried she made the wrong choice telling me that she wasn't willing to try. We planned to meet up the next day, but she said that she didn't feel great about us talking again right before we were supposed to meet. I told her goodbye and that was it. I haven't spoken to her in 3 months, nor her to me. I am near her for several weeks now and I would like to reach out to her but I do not want to scare her way. Any suggestions? | I want to try and work things out with ex-gf, broke up on decent terms, 3 months no contact |
t3_472vqb | relationships | Me(19/f), him(21/m) Please remind me there's other fish in the sea or | I've been with this guy for a year and he's not treating me like he used to. We are fighting over silly things and our relationship is weakening...but I love him so much. While he's ignoring my texts and doing what he wants (texting other girls), I'm here crying. All the time. I can't sleep properly when we are at odds and feel super heart broken. Im not going to admit he's making me feel this way cause I fear he would feel the power and take it to his advantage. He's a wonderful guy and my favorite person in the world. Never had I thought I would act in such pathetic manner over a man, please remind me I don't have to be treated like this. I need to know my values. Remind me that if he doesn't accept the love and care I put into everything I do for him, that someone else will appreciate it. Can someone please tell me some kind words? I need to hear something along the line of "everything will be OK".
I'm sorry for this gloominess but I'm hurting... a lot. | boyfriend doesn't really care for me and I'm very sensitive and emotional. I love him so very much and feel abandoned. |
t3_ky5ic | AskReddit | Approx $110K loan debts; I need some help/advice! | So after seeing this link , I realized that there might be some other great advice from reddit that could help me pay off my loan.
The back story is, I made a late decision to go to college, so I was locked out of the best scholarships I could have gotten from high-school on. I never got the FAFSA information filled with the government/school - since I couldn't prove I was independent based on their requirements and my parents wouldn't file. I worked during school to offset whatever costs I could, however, through high interest rates of private loans - I've amassed approx $110K in student debt. (86,000 sallie mae/include: interest, $16,000 Federal Assist, 7,000 Michigan state government assist)
Now I'm working in a foreign country so attempt to pay off my loans and live a cheaper/better life. I don't know what I can do to ease the burden of my loans/financial matters - but I'm working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, and it's killing me. Stress is destroying me too. My goal was to make $3,500 a month and make $3000 payments (living on the $500), but I've had a hard time pulling that together as of now.
So, the point of this is, if any redditors have good advice or knowledge of something that could help me out with my loans, please let me know. You can also AMA, ~~ I really just want to figure a good way out to handle this. | Student loan Financial troubles, moved to foreign country to work/pay off loans - having trouble doing so - need advice/help |
t3_4xrzjk | tifu | TIFU by suggesting leashes for kids. | Back when I started dating my now husband, I'd often go to his parents for dinner. I'm always nervous about being judged by new people, so I was being on my very best behavior and making sure I was polite and helpful with everything.
At dinner, we were joking and chatting, and my hubby's step brother starts telling us stories about the kids he works with. He mentions how he it took him forever to wrangle them all and get them inside after play time one day, and how exhausting it is to have to chase them around all day and make sure they don't hurt themselves or each other.
We were tittering over it and I jokingly said "Haha, I bet sometimes you wish you could just put 'em on leashes or something"
Suddenly everyone got quiet or laughed uncomfortably. I was unsure why what I had said was so offensive, and then my husband sent me a text from across the table.
"He works with mentally handicapped adults".
Needless to say I was mortified. I started crying and immediately apologized and said I thought he was a camp supervisor for kids or something. His parents told me they totally understood and knew it was a misunderstanding, but my husbands step brother, even four years later, still hasn't been anything but curt and short with me. | he worked with handicapped adults, I thought he worked with troublesome children and said he just put them on leashes. |
t3_4tosr4 | relationships | My [17M] girlfriend [18F] of 2 months broke up with me, and one of her closest friends [18F] wants me to dom for her and her girlfriend [16F] | Before dating my now ex (Let's call her Laura), she introduced me to one of her best friends (Kay) and we hit it off rather quickly, going on a few dates before she eventually got scared and didn't want commitment so she backed off. No big deal, and Kay ended up leaving town during this time anyways. While she was away, she realized how amazing of a human I am and regretted her decision to not sleep with me, so we exchanged a lot of texts and got pretty in detail regarding certain kinks, fantasies etc.
This was around the same time that Laura realized how irresistible of a person I am and we began dating. Things were great with us, and when we were dating Kay came back to town and got pretty mad at Laura and I, because in her mind we were gonna go crazy next time she was around, but now I was taken. As time went on, Laura and Kay became less close, and Kay started dating one of our mutual friends. Laura has mentioned before that if we break up, the only person she would take it personally if I fucked was Kay. A few months pass, and then for no apparent reason, Laura broke up with me.
Laura texted Kay that she broke up with me, for some reason, and next thing you know she is chatting me up. I didn't think much of it, because of her girlfriend, but she offered an ear to vent into and a free meal, so I picked her up and we caught up. After talking and catching up for a while, she told me she had a proposition for me: Turns out, both her and her girlfriend are submissive and so when they're having sex and one is being dom they aren't enjoying it. Their solution is for me to enter their relationship, but they've clarified in a strictly sexual sense, and act as a dominant sex toy to both of them essentially.
Reddit, I have a boner and am confused. Please advise. | My girlfriend broke up w/ me, less than 12 hours later two buzzcutted bisexuals want me to brutalize |
t3_24x7pe | relationships | She's also dating another guy and can't decide between us | This probably sounds really weird. Two weeks ago I [18 m] met a girl [18 f] and we had a good time hanging out that ended with attempted sex (it was 5:30 am, couldn't get it up). I saw her again this week and had a great date that ended with car sex. She is still dating another guy who she claims to have done nothing sexual with. She said she will decide to drop one of us when things get serious but I think things are serious enough now. I really like her and she says she likes me, I've grown close to her and developed feelings fast. I feel incredible with her. This situation with the other guy is really annoying me, though. Also, she wants to cut off the sex for now since I am having erection problems, which I'm okay with cause I agree we moved too fast and I wasn't ready. This other guy is really bothering me. I talked to her today, but it was hard to find the words to say, she is very confused and doesn't know what to do. I don't want to be competing for her, I feel like I shouldn't have to, but I really care about her and I know nothing about this other guy. | we're dating and fucking, she's still dating other dude. It's only been two weeks, but I think she needs to make up her mind and stop seeing either him or me. |
t3_cnt8o | AskReddit | What do you think it means to be a doctor? | As a medical student, I'm usually annoyed with the typical responses. "Because I want to help people" seems to imply that others don't. I also seem to hear a lot of "Being a doctor means to be compassionate". I agree that it's important, but that's not unique to medicine either.
Nurses (RNs, NPs, etc) and PAs are all trained to be compassionate and help people. I think the reason people should want to go medicine should go one step further. I think MDs should want to contribute scientific information to the medical community. They shouldn't just be consumers of new information, they should produce it as well. I think doctors should want to become experts in their field and further the boundaries of medical knowledge. Otherwise, what's the point of all the extra years of school?
I think being a doctor means being a clinical scientist. I'm curious to know what you all think. | Med students say the go into medicine to help others/be compassionate, but don't explain why they didn't just go to nursing school. What do you think? |
t3_1w82ac | relationships | Me [29 M] with my re-united friend [30 F], wanted to ask her out, now I'm going to be her boss. | We were ok friends in high school and we just got re-acquainted. we have hung out a couple of times and I was helping her look for a job in my field. I realized I'd like to ask her out right as a subordinate position opened up in my company. She looks like she will get it and I am trying to decide if I should tell her how I feel before she takes it. Mostly I want her to have enough information to make an informed decision so she will be comfortable with making it awkward. Obviously no dating while she is subordinate, and I'm helping her get the job as a friend even though I know it kills any hope for a deeper relationship. | Should she know I'm attracted to her before taking the job to make an informed decision, or will that just make things awkward? |
t3_l6pyi | AskReddit | What is your most out-of-control drunk moment? I'll start. (Possibly NSFW?) | Freshman year of college, I got invited to two parties on the same night- one that I really wanted to go to, and one that I didn't want to go to, but my friends did. So I stopped by the one my friends wanted to check out and tried to cram in a couple hours of partying into like half an hour. Drank three cups of veeery strong jungle juice, felt sick, puked, felt better, decided to keep partying.
Party number two, we play a drinking game where the loser takes a shot. I lost five times in a row (in maybe fifteen minutes) and, needless to say, was shitfaced, so when a friend suggested we put on togas, I was all for it. I snagged a sheet from him and tied it on, when he commented that my bra ruined the effect and I should take it off. Drunk as I was, I agreed.
The next couple hours are lost to me. Apparently I was completely coherent the whole time, other than a couple flashing incidents, and went all over campus visiting people. Finally, around 2 AM, a friend found me passed out on the quad, toga askew, near a group of people. He carried me home, where I vom'd for the rest of the night. | Got black out drunk, wound up passed out in the grass in a toga when there was no toga party. |
t3_1kndnk | relationship_advice | girlfriend mad but why? | i was at work and she text me and a random number text me, she said something that didnt need a reply, like "yeah :p" and the other number text me and i tried to figure out who it was, ended up thinking they had the wrong number and said "who do you think your texting? i think you got the wrong number doll"
so it turns out it was her friend right next to her... wtf is the point of that game?
anyways she gets mad and doesnt text me all night and post on her fb "feel my heart fill with hate, tired of loving" which makes me mad of course. also she tells me that id rather get to know a stranger than her... i wake up early on days im in her town to give her a ride to work and see her for five min...
her friends whisper im a bad guy all night and she decides she doesnt wanna see me this week(we only get to see each other once or twice a week cuz of distance) so i get mad and feel like im nothing to her if that little of a thing makes her not want to see me.
my question is do i have the right to be mad? or am i overreacting? | gf is mad about 30 min of me trying to figure out a random number that texts me instead of me tlking to her? who should be mad |
t3_3rqwxm | tifu | TIFU By Masterbating In The Shower With Shampoo. | > Be 17
> Perma Horny.
> Be cut
So today I decided that I want to get off in the shower, and Not waste a good cleenex.
So, I was getting it on in the shower, and it was feeling dry, so I look around for some lotion (normally fine tbh)
and i Magically found some hair shampoo... Decided to use some, really small amount actually. and it felt really good, i was doing the five knuckle shuffle for days man... Holy shit. Until I busted my knuckle Children, Jesus christ the worst burning sensation ever!
I literally started crying, I had shampoo in my dick hole. Fuck my life, never again.
20 Minutes later, Whilst I write this poorly composed Post, It still burns.
Dont do what i did kids.
Kappa123 lelelelel | Dont wank with shampoo, unless you want to let your dick suffer the burns of 100 african chldren burning in hell. |
t3_1wwaap | relationships | Is it weird that I [25 M] have trouble telling my girlfriend [23 F] what I want from her after 1 year of dating? | I don't know what it is, maybe I'm afraid of how she'll react?
But I'm afraid to tell her things like my preferences in her dress because I'm afraid she'll get offended. Same thing with telling her my preferences in her lingerie. I just keep silent because I'm afraid she'll get offended and think I'm telling her how to look.
And I've always been afraid to tell her that I like her feet because I have a mild foot fetish. I've always wanted to tell her I want to see her wearing more heels, more open foot shoes, her walk around the apartment barefoot more, etc but I didn't because I was afraid she'd get offended for me telling her how to dress. But then recently she got it out of me that I have a thing for her feet and she reacted well.
Is this weird? How can I be more honest with her? | I'm afraid to tell my girl my preferences in things she wears because I'm afraid she'll get offended. How can I be more honest? |
t3_1eve1c | relationships | I F[21] went on 5 good dates with a guy M[24] and then he stopped texting me for over a month. Now he just texted me again and I'm confused. | Went on about 5 good dates with a guy a while ago. The last Time I saw him was over a month ago and he said he really enjoyed spending time with me and wanted to keep seeing me. Then He wouldn't text. I texted him a couple times and he would always respond but wouldn't text me first. A few weeks ago he texted me at night and said he saw me at the bar. I told him I didn't see him, He asked how my night was and I didn't respond. So today he texts me Asking how I am and apologizing for falling off the face of the earth. Should I even bother to respond? why is he texting me now? | Guy stopped texting me for a month and randomly texts me asking how I am and apologizing for falling off the face of the earth. Should I even respond? Why is he texting me now? |
t3_sxj50 | running | Looking for programs for high-school track running, especially middle-distances. | Hi runners! My son is wrapping up his last season of middle-school track, and this year he really seemed to fall in love with the sport. He ran the 800 and 200 a couple times, but his favorite event is the 400 m (and the 4x400). He just announced that he wants to become fast for high-school, and I want to help him out. He didn't get much in the way of coaching during middle school (and that's fine; they're just kids and were having fun!), and I'm not a very good runner myself, so I was hoping that you good folks could recommend off-season training programs or maybe some books. He's already lifting with me, and I recon we'll spend some time in the weightroom over the summer, but what else should he be doing? Will doing cross-country next Fall be a good idea? | My son wants to know what to do in the off-season to become a faster 400 m sprinter for high school. |
t3_umsdi | relationship_advice | [17/f] My boyfriend (17/m) is drifting away | My boyfriend and I (both 17) have been dating for about 7 months. In the beginning, he'd send me sweet texts, written in Spanish (he's Hispanic), and he'd never fail to call me whenever possible. However, as the relationship went on, texts and calls began to lessen. He missed my birthday, left me after I gave him chocolate covered bacon to play a video game on Valentines Day, and our dates have only been numbered to 4 total. A month ago, he began playing League. I supported him, as I am also a gamer. However, it became a close addiction, and soon the only thing he would talk about. He never texted, or called, or contacted me in any manner. Whenever we did talk during the 5 minute walking period from class to his car, it would always be about League. A week ago, he texted to apologize and said he'd get better. His mother then proceeded to take away his laptop because he didn't stop playing League. Despite his laptop being taken away, he still hardly contacts me. I have to start the texts, which are answered late, if at all. He only talks about League, and nothing else. I can't help but feel that our relationship is merely a friendship revolving around League. I tried talking to him, but he never responds. What should I do? | My boyfriend rarely talks to me, and if he does, it's about League, which I don't even play. There is no effort of romance or even a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Advice? |
t3_30pdwm | relationships | I [28 M] dated a [42F] three years ago when I was in college. She was perfect in every way but I just could not get over the age gap. | So I dated a girl that was 14 years older[42] than me[28] back when I was a senior in college. She was everything I wanted - fit, never been married and no kids, no temper, and had a great career as a speech therapist working for an elementary school. I met her through my cousin [42f] at her birthday party (my cousin and her are co-workers) and we started dating. I chalked it up as something casual and when she started taking it more serious I broke it off. I think she was really nice but the age gap really bothered me. Now that its 3 years later I feel kind of guilty because I have the feeling that I wanted something better than perfect. Although it would have been hard for us to maintain the relationship after I graduated because I was recalled to active duty for a year upon graduating college (im in the national guard) and then I moved 5 hours away to another city for my post college career when I got back. She was settled into a career and had already purchased a home so she was not mobile and probably could not have followed me. In addition to already having an established career and a home she also had her disabled father living with her which would have also caused issues with mobility. Has this happened to anyone else? Ever meet someone that was perfect except for the age? | I dated a girl that was senior to me by 14 years. She was perfect but I could not get over the age gap./I feel guilty because I "wanted something better than perfect". Anyone else been in the same scenario?! |
t3_4myuhu | relationships | I [25m] have started to resent my best friend [20m] because I set him up with a friend [19f] of mine. | To give some background, Emily and I became close friends after my ex dumped me. She was friends with both me and my ex but came out of it siding with me. She helped me get over it and I am beyond grateful. I can tell her pretty much anything.
The problem is that it was my exes idea to set Emily and Mike up, and we did right before we split (So theyve been together for about 2 months). Oh and did I mention I had a crush on Emily from the first day I met her? Even before me and my ex got together. (That lasted 3 months)
Ever since they got together my relationship with Mike has been rocky. He knew I was interested in Emily from day one, and for some reason I cant help but be upset with him. I know she isnt interested in me (like 90-95% certain) but it doesnt stop me from having this tiny bit of hope for it.
Emily talks to me about them, and is more than willing to share pretty much anything. The worst is when she gets all insecure about them and talks to me about it. She gets worried that she cant talk to Mike about some things so she comes to me to vent.
I finally broke down and talked to Mike about why Ive been so down lately. He was understanding, thankfully. He didnt know how much pain I had been in though. While Ive considered doing so before, he suggested that I talk to Emily about it. He thinks that me and her are close enough that it will be okay. But I'm so afraid that I'll go back into my shell and shut people out.
I think I am going to talk to her about it this Friday assuming shes free. I don't know what else I can do to help get over it because saying nothing for 2 months obviously hasn't helped. | Set best friend up with my crush. I've felt like shit for 2 months because of it. Probably going to talk to her on Friday about the whole situation. |
t3_3wos6x | relationships | Me [19 M] with my gf [19F] of almost 1 year. Not sure if I want to stay with her? | Me and my girlfriend of almost a year started dating last year during our first year of university. We started dating late in the school year and through the summer until we both had to part ways for 2 months because we both had jobs quite a distance from each other. I worked at an all boys camp for 2 months and her at a resort. She told me she loved me 2 months before we parted ways and I really loved her back. She's funny, outgoing and I love spending time with her, everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend. About 3 weeks into our 2 months apart she told me she can't do the long distance relationship which we we're trying to do because she missed me so much that it caused her stress especially after just getting out of a long distance relationship about 3 months before we started dating. We ended up "taking a break" for a few weeks where she hooked up with a few people while I was all alone at an all boys camp. I traveled to see her about 2 weeks into our "break" and we both decided to end the break because we wanted to try and make us work again when we returned to school. After getting back to school and being together for about 2 months I'm starting to have second doubts about whether we should have gotten back together again. It bothers me and pains me to think about the people she hooked up with while we weren't together. To be honest I'm not a very sexually experienced person either while she is and sometimes I think I'd like to be single in order to see other people but at the same time it would be very hard for me to break it off with her because our relationship is pretty amazing. I'm so on the fence I really don't what I want or what to do, just looking for some advice. | Started dating a fuckin awesome girl for a while until we had to spend 2 months apart doing long distance where she asked to "take a break" and wheeled a few people. Don't know if I want to be together or not |
t3_q4xq9 | AskReddit | I'm single, and miserable. What do I do, reddit? | All my friends are in heavily committed relationships, so going out with them is usually a fruitless endeavor. I'm 22. In good health. Mentally stable. Just about as normal a guy as you can ask for.
Now I've been cheated on, both on my long term relationships, and the past two "few month flings" I've had, were terrible.
I'm a pretty shy individual, before I get to know people. But when you do know me, I'm the life of the party. Loud, outgoing, funny. I don't think I'm ugly, as I've never been told such. Avid gamer, mountain biker, tinkerer of all things electrical and mechanical.
Where do I go from here, reddit? I've tried bar hopping, but no one seemed to want commitment so I stopped that quick. Going to the mall seems sketchy. My usual activities don't typically lead me to any hopefuls. | I want to get married young and start a family, yet I can't seem to get into a relationship that works on all levels. I can't possibly be alone, here. Any advice? |
t3_34udfw | loseit | MFP/Fitbit issue; extra calories from exercise change drastically/seem somewhat low. | I am on week three of my weight loss journey, and I'm doing okay. This is probably the farthest and most serious I've ever been about losing weight, and I'm down ten pounds. For week one, I started by logging my calories, but for week two, I actually broke out my old fitbit and got moving. My job is pretty sedentary. I work at a desk, but I'm generally getting up every ten minutes or so to walk to the fax machine or go into a coworker's office. I've also started to walk with my fiancé in the evening, which is very enjoyable.
This is about where my issue comes in. Since linking my fitbit, there is a little asterisk at the bottom of MFP that tells me how many calories I've burned from exercising, basically telling me that "*You've earned ____ extra calories from exercise today." This number generally starts in around the 100 area, and after I do my walk it jumps up to around 400-500.
However, the next day when I go and look back at my calories for that day, the number has changed. Instead of the 500 number, it's now at 100. Or 91. Or 79. It's honestly making me feel a bit crazy, because I am pretty sure I've exercised more than this. It's also making me constantly overreach in my calorie goals. Nothing crazy, the most I've ever gone over is about 100, but it bothers me. I have searched pretty much everywhere, google search, reddit search, and found nothing. I DO understand that Fitbit tends to estimate how much I will exercise and then tells MFP, but I'm having a very hard time figuring out how 6,000 steps only burns 133 extra calories. Or, maybe it DOES only burn 133 calories, and I'm just nuts. I would appreciate any answers at this point, honestly. | Linking my fitibit to MFP has me seeing different/strange numbers for extra calories earned via exercise, need help understanding how it works. |
t3_24f5y7 | offmychest | Me [21 M] with my boyfriend [21 M] of one year, him and his parents are leaving for Canada in a few days, cannot celebrate our anniversary as parents won't let him off for one day | As the title says, my boyfriend and I are celebrating our 1 year anniversary today; he was supposed to come to school with me this morning and we were supposed to go on a 'date' at the nearby bar.
He does not have a car, and his parents will not let him off for the day, insisting that he has to help them pack.
They've been packing for the past week in anticipation of their move on the 5th of May.
I'm not gonna get to see him after the move, and his parents won't even let him come to school to hang out with me. | Boyfriend and I celebrating one-year anniversary; they are leaving for Canada in a few days, parents make him keep packing the house despite it being only a few days until he's gone. |
t3_131xb8 | AskReddit | What is the best way to handle a smoker? | So in my apartment complex I have some people who like to smoke nearby. (Big surprise) I really couldn't care less about what they chose to do, my problem is where they're doing it.
They've decided that smoking on the balcony is a good idea. If I could keep my window closed this probably wouldn't bother me too much. The problem is one of these smokers also happens to be renting one of the bedrooms in my apartment (it's a 4 bedroom apartment). This guy is also likes the ambient temperature to be quite warm in my apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if he also decided to break the thermostat if there was anymore conflict there. (I've tried talking to him about either stop smoking near my window or to keep the temp down).
I've then had the problem of some guys in the apartment above also smoking. I've also tried to approach them and told them to please stop smoking. Basically everyone has pretty much ignored me. (The guy in my apartment reacted in a way that could be interpreted as angry). Recently I've noticed the smell of marijuana outside of my window as well as through the hallway at times.
I've talked to apartment management about the smoking and basically I have to get a picture as well as know their names in order for anything to be done. In the state that I live in it's a law that you can't smoke in or near any public places which would include apartment complexes.
My question is what is everyone's suggestion on the best way to handle this situation? It's probably pretty obvious that I just have to somehow get a picture of them in the act but I'm not sure how easy this is because they usually do it in bad lighting conditions. Not to mention that I'd have to somehow figure out the other guys names.
I'm usually the live and let live kind of person but besides a complete intolerance to the smell and also the fact that it gives me a headache I can't stand this.
*If this isn't the place for this, where else would be best to ask? | What is the best way to handle people smoking around where I live who don't respond to polite requests to not to do so nearby. |
t3_51ifix | relationships | My [21F] best friend [20F] is moving in with her boyfriend [20M] after two weeks together | Hi everyone,
I've known my friend Ashley for a while now. We grew up together and we're really close - like sisters.
In the past year, Ashley has been in 3 different relationships. She moved in with me and my BF for a little while back, so she could be closer to her boyfriend. That relationship lasted about a week.
After that, she found a new boyfriend. This guy was almost 30 years old and after a month of living with us, Ashley decided to go live with her new boyfriend at his home.
They lived together for about a month and... you guessed it...they broke up. She moved back in with her parents, and she told me she's not going to date for awhile. Everytime she had a break up...it was the same story...
And now, she's met Mr. Right and she's moving in with him. She's known him for about two weeks. She loves the fact he makes 6 figures, and her parents love him too. She's known him for two weeks now. He has given her hundreds of dollars to buy things for their new place.
While Ashley seems happy, I'm worried that she's making a huge mistake. The new guy seems nice enough, and he seems very kind to her. Her parents also love him. I just feel like she's making a huge mistake and I don't know what to do/say. | My best friend is moving in with her "Dream Man" after two weeks together. I don't know what to do/say because I feel like she's making a huge mistake. |
t3_fhpp9 | AskReddit | What do you think of this relationship blunder? | Hey guys, I have a friend that has been going out with this girl for 4 years and note, that he is 21 and this is his first partner ever. Now for the past year this girl has showed signs that she was bored of him and always made arguments out of nothing, and was pissed pretty much 90% of time I hung out with with them. Until one day she was drunkish and made it clear to me that, indeed she wanted to move on.
I tried telling me friend, but he will just deny it and told me to F off. Not too long ago my friend found her in bed with a co worker of hers and pretty much ended it, even though he still missed her.
Now after all the signs telling him that this girl does not want him, he still mourns for her and blames everything on himself. Just a couple of days ago I found out she took him back [I think because he just begged so much]
Man....I tried helping him but this guy just lives in his own world and I just think I should stop trying to open his eyes, even though he always runs to me for advice. | Friend goes out with some girl, she made it pretty clear she doesn't want be with him by cheating on him, and then after a lot of begging from friend, she took him back. |
t3_33oju6 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [23 F] 4 years, issues with career plans and future goals. | Ok, so I am currently working at a healthcare company, the job is fine and am finally working after looking for a job for a while, gf gets upset because "I don't really know what I want to do with my life."
My gf is currently in school for nursing, and her passion has always been to become a nurse. At this point in my life I honestly don't know what my dream job/career goal is. This fact really upsets my gf and we recently got into an argument about it.
I guess I am just looking for advice about how to handle a situation like this and to see if other people have had similar issues to this before. I have stated that I will actively try and figure out what I see myself doing, but that is much easier said than done. | I don't know what I want out of my career, gf is upset with me not knowing because she has a planned all worked out. |
t3_tbu9l | relationships | BF left himself logged in and I read this facebook message conversation (posted inside). Haven't said anything... Am I being silly? | Okay I know a lot of people will say I shouldn't have read the message. I understand, but I did.
I'm 22/he's 21... been together 7 months.
The only weird thing about it is that my BF randomly added this person. Then facebook messaged this person which turned into a conversation that reads:
>MY BF: How's it going?
>GIRL: Pretty good. How are ya?
>MY BF: Just chillen watching tv...What did you do this weekend?
>GIRL: Nothing too crazy. Jus worked. You are pretty cute brw btw*
>MY BF: hahah yeah i did jack shit. lol eventho it was Cinco de mayo whichi had fully intended on going crazy hahahaha but we didnt.lol where do you work? thanks so are you... are those ur pics???
>GIRL: Lol yes that's me
That's all there is so far. Conversation happened in the last 24 hours. Am I being silly? | Found the conversation above on my BF's facebook. It bugs me that he seems to be flirting with this person he has never met in person save thru mutual friends online. Am I being dumb? |
t3_3ehh8y | relationship_advice | Wife (35/f) may be cheating on me (38/m) | I really have no idea where to start. We have been married for 7 years, together for 9. No children. She works with a married guy who she texts constantly, jokes around with constantly, they get lunch together sometimes, and he will sometimes come to our house to have a few beers after work. They have worked together for about 4 years and I have not suspected anything until recently.
I don't want to give too many details on how I know, in case one of them is a Redditor but I have proof he has been at the house when I have been away at work. I'm just playing it easy now as I get more information so I didn't come right out and ask her if he was there, but she didn't tell me he came over that particular evening even after some prodding from me. After that I did a little snooping and I found some nude photos on her phone that were not meant for, and that she never showed me. She also adamantly refuses to let me take any of her. So that brings us to the next issue. I matched up the timestamps of the photos and checked text message times. A few of the times match but just text messages until about three weeks ago when I found one MMS message to him from her that was at the same time a few of the nudes were taken. She's sent regular images to him, so I don't have any proof other than times coordinating. I'm really trying to not believe this could be happening.
I don't really have anything else to go on, nothing else seems out of place or weird. She still seems to love me, we still have a decent sex life, we still do things together, etc. | Wife works with married guy who she pals around with, suspect they may be messing around. Found a nude photo whose timestamp matches a MMS message to him. Everything seems normal still. Don't know what to do. |
t3_4b2e3u | relationships | Friend [34 F] about to leave from holiday location to be with very sick parent. How can I [29 M] be supportive while being left behind? | Me [29 M] and Alice [34 F] (a close friend of over one year) are currently on a holiday together. Yesterday on the first day of the holiday she received news that one of her parents was admitted with a potential terminally infection to a hospital.
Alice understandably decided to leave to be with her parents. I offered to come with her but she rebuked the idea, got even angry after I insisted and told me to "stay and enjoy the holiday".
I agreed, but I am feeling helpless and powerless, while I really want to do something to help. But I have no clue what to do. | Close friend about to travel to very sick parent. Does not want me to come. How can I still be supportive? What can I do? |
t3_v7cwt | AskReddit | I would appreciate the shit out of you guys if you would help me get healthier. | So, today my friend told me I should start working out, so, basically in the nicest way possible he said I'm getting fat. I went home and noticed it too. I've gained a bunch of weight over the years, and as I just finished my first year of college, well, long story short: junk-food and coffee fucked me over. I have from now until late August, and I want to become much leaner, stronger, faster, and most importantly, sexier. I'm want to start working out tomorrow, but I feel like I need a plan or else I'll give up half way through and say 'fuck it.' Also there are no gyms near where I live, but I have a treadmill (If there's a workout other than just running it would be great; I have fucked up knees and suck at running). I also don't really have any workout gear, and am not really able to afford to buy anything at the moment. If someone gives me a nice affordable (should stress how I am pretty poor at the moment) diet plan, that would be great too. | Need a workout regiment aimed at losing fat that doesn't incorporate too much running because of fucked up knees accounting for lack of gym. Affordable diet plan would be cool too. |
t3_3ksu0m | relationships | 36M lost friendship 2 years ago with 20F, still unable to cope with or deal with | I'll try and keep this brief to begin with. I suffer from bad bouts of depression almost consistently but the doctors won't do anything. In my (long?) life I've never really formed a connection with anyone. A few years ago I thought I did at a mutual friend's party. This girl (20) and I hit it off really well. We got to know each other over a year despite living in different countries.
After a year I went to visit. It all went terribly, we stopped talking and I've not been able to repair it since no matter how I try.
I miss her so terribly, every attempt to replace her sucks. I don't want anything else other than to take whatever drugs can kill a desire for people. It's pathetic but she was the only thing that made me feel better for brief periods.
I know it's a really bad case of oneitis (although I didn't want a relationship with her) but I can't shake it. Ever since I've got back from the trip 2 years ago I've been on autopilot pretty much waiting for life events to let me end (which was the state before I met her, so that's not the reason)
Please help. | 32m finally made connection with someone, 20f, went great, got complicated, ended, now 36m is wrecked |
t3_2f20hq | relationships | I [22F] met a guy [26M] on Tinder and I think things are getting serious, but he still uses Tinder! Thoughts? | A couple of months ago I started hanging out with this great guy I met on Tinder. We hang out often, and on days that we don't hang out we FaceTime. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet, but has referred to us on multiple occasions as a "couple," and has mentioned that he's a "one woman kind of guy" who is looking for something more serious than a fuck buddy.
He has told his friends about me as well as his parents. In fact, he's invited me to visit his hometown this weekend where I'll be meeting his childhood friends and family. He's thoughtful - bought me a meaningful birthday present, will do things with me that I like, and will cook me my favorite foods.
All of this sounds like he's wanting to take things seriously, but I'm concerned because I notice that he still uses Tinder at least once or twice a day. I've casually brought it up and he'll mumble something about using it when he's bored, but in the back of my mind I'm worried that he's still keeping his eyes opened in case something better comes along.
As far as I can tell I'm the only girl he talks to (that I can see.) I'm his only best friend on snap chat, the only girl he follows on Instagram and Twitter, and he hasn't added any girls on Facebook lately.
Could he really be using Tinder out of boredom? | Have been hanging out with a guy I met on Tinder and it seems like he wants to get serious, but he still uses Tinder. Should I be concerned? |
t3_1wwur6 | relationships | My mother [52 F] won't stop critiscing and controling me [18 M] no matter what I do. | First of all, sorry for my not so good english.
A bit of a background. I live in Spain but I was born in Romania. We moved here when I was 6. My mother thinks that I should be thankful for her moving to Spain. Don't get me wrong, I am but she keeps pushing me to do what she wants and I have to, because I applied for citizenship and I need her documents to get it through.
I appreciate my mother and I love her a lot, she is nice most of the time and I'm cool with her. The thing is that from time to time, let's say twice a week, she gets into a shitty mood and starts bitching about me and everything I do. I am currently a student and my grades are decent but she will bitch about me not studying even if I do study, and if I tell her that I've done my homework she will bitch about other stuff.
This has been going on forever but I can't take it anymore. I try my best to be a good son. I never got into fights or trouble, got decent grades even though I'm a bit lazy... and it seems that she doesn't appreciate it. I know it's the right thing to do but there are many kids that drop out of school, get into fights, steal... that she could give an easier time.
The bad thing is that I feel like I don't owe her or my dad anything. I grew up alone because they were working. I had to become a man by myself. Until I was 14 I saw my parents 4 hours a day. And now they are trying to control my life like they raised me and they helped me to grow up when they didn't.
Also my mom hates when I hide something from her and she gets batshit crazy. She is being an hipocrite because she had breast cancer when she was 26 and we found out a year ago, so she had been hiding it for 26 years.
Sorry for the incoherence of the post, I just don't even know what to say or how to maintain a structure because there is a lot of shit that I could say about her. | My mum is trying to control and critizice what I do, even though she has failed me a lot of times. |
t3_4gqz4s | relationships | Me [28 M] with my [25 F] g/f of eight months just broke up because today I admitted to cheating on her last saturday. Is there any way I can gain back her trust? | I fucked up. I know I did. It happened last saturday night. I was drunk, didn't plan it, but made a conscious decision in the moment to cheat with a girl I had never met before while my girlfriend was out of town.
I wanted to just move on, pretend it never happened. My girlfriend never deserved anything like this. She had an abusive, drug-addict for a mom growing up so always just depended on herself, but had just started opening up to me in ways she never had before with anyone else. And then I cheated on her. And I had to tell her because the guilt was driving me insane. So now I told her, and she'll never talk to me again. I have caused her unimaginable pain. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live with myself.
I've talked to my best friend. I talked to a counselor over the phone. There's nothing any one can say to make this better, but I keep asking for comfort, knowing it's futile. How do I move on? How do I not live the rest of my life in self-loathing? I love her, she was the first person I was every really comfortable around, but because I'm such a fucking idiot--I'm 28 and I acted like I was 18--I threw it all out the window. | I cheated on my girlfriend. I admitted it, she has left me and is in a world of hurt. Do I leave her alone? Try and win her back? I feel like killing myself. |
t3_3arj9d | relationships | A very close mutual friend of me [23F] and my coworker [20sF] was murdered last week. How to approach? | Last weekend, my best friend growing up was brutally murdered by her boyfriend of a few months. Some guy she barely knew.
We were best friends growing up. Needless to say I'm not taking it well. I'm devastated.
A girl was hired at my work a few months ago. She's in a different section/dept than me so although I sit across the hallway with her, I have zero interaction with her. The morning after news broke of my friends death, she came up to me and told me she knew my friend as well. They became very good friends the past few years. She was on the verge of tears and obviously devastated too. She kind of walked off after that. She caught me off guard so I wasn't sure what to say. Now I feel awkward and horrible for not saying anything because I know how she's feeling too. I get the feeling she wanted to talk or something. I went to the funeral yesterday and she was there too. We didn't talk, just gave me a sad smile/acknowledgement.
I only know her name and we happened to share a very good friend who ran in different social circles. Would it be appropriate to shoot her a Facebook message or something and apologize for my awkwardness and let her know that she can talk to me if you needs to?
I don't want to overstep and make it worse. Though at this point it's hard to feel even worse than we do now. | a very close friend of mine was murdered. A coworker and another close friend of my friend seemed interested in talking about it. Not sure if I should reapproach it. |
t3_3pz9wm | relationships | Me [30 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] of 4 months, on paper he is amazing, but i don't feel that head over heels spark. Jump ship? | i was in a relationship recently for a few years with the guy who i was to marry. we' talked about the wedding, everyone in our lives knew we'd get hitched eventually. we were each others everything. passionate about each other in every way. it was nothing i'd ever felt before (and may never feel again).
but it was too strong. the intensity turned into jealousy and insecurities from both of us, and things got toxic. we couldn't be happy, despite loving each other tremendously. so we ended it. and it fucking hurt.
enter new guy- he's great. he's absolutely everything i thought i wanted in a person. i'm not AS attracted to him, but that might go along with my mental barriers. i don't feel passionate about him. i don't run to him when i'm feeling insecure or sad, my heart doesn't skip a beat when he walks in the door. i like him fine, but i can't figure out if he;s just not right for me or if i'm comparing my feelings about him to the feelings i had in my previous relationship, or i'm protecting myself and not allowing myself to fall for him because i'm scared that he'll jump ship anyways and i'll be left in the dust.
there's a lot of baggage and insecurities here. I know, and he knows it too and has committed to being along for the ride. he says he loves me and has never felt about anyone the way he feels about me. so then i ask too, am i trying to talk myself into staying with him just because he fits the bill of my dream guy and is in love with me and openly accepts my flaws? do i feel obligated to love him back? | met a guy who is great on paper in every way, but i can't seem to feel the spark or allow myself to feel the spark. learn some gratitude? or jump ship for his sake? |
t3_jwqfa | AskReddit | Roommate Help | Ok so here it goes, I'm a freshmen in college and I just moved in a few days ago. When I moved in I met my roommate for the first time. He seemed cool and we got along well. the first night when I returned from the gym, he had a bunch of random people I've never seen before but I naturally assumed they were just there to hangout. They werent. They came to go with my roommate to smoke weed. That caught me a little off guard just because it was the first night. Just to clarify I dont smoke but i dont mind if people do. The next day i return from the gym again and more new people in the room! I assumed they were there to go smoke again but i was only half right he was selling to them. This made me uncomfortable. Enough to make me think about switching rooms. However tonight was a game changer, he came in with two more people ive never seen. They proceeded to snort some white substance and leave me in the room. it was extremely awkward. My question to you guys is how can I change rooms without ratting on him. In my school you need to have a good reason to switch, I cant just say we have personalities etc. Also if he gets busted with me in the room im fucked. so i need to get out of this. | my roomate starting dealing weed on the 2nd day of school now hes getting into really hard stuff. I'm worried that if he gets busted i could go down to. I need some tips on how I can get out of this |
t3_s9s20 | AskReddit | Advice on approaching someone I hit it off well with at the store? | Quick backstory:
Met girl at retail store. She was helping me pick stuff out. We talked for a good two hours while I was there, really seemed to hit it off. Somewhat flirty with each other, at least that is how I read it. I went back last week to pick up something she had to order in for me, she remembered my name and everything and we chatted until other people came in and She got busy. She specifically mentioned being bored with no fun plans coming up. I chickendd out of asking... :(
She knows my relative age because I said I graduated school recently (I'm 23). She had given me her card to call in case I had problems with anything I got.
So...I'm back in town (travel for work) and this weekend Will be picking up the last thing. I finally broke down and facebook stalked her to see if I could find her age. I knew she was single, at least as of three weeks ago based on our conversation. But. Find out she is 31. Which, I'm totally fine with. I generally date people a few years older than me. She is awesome and I'd like to get to know her better.
However, I'm worried that might be an issue for her? I just worry 8 years might be a bit of a gap in her mind...or maybe she didn't think I was as young as I am, since she herself went through college late.
What advice would you have in approaching her and asking her out? I'm hoping to this weekend (likely in a few hours). Would dinner or drink be more appropriate? Or something more like coffee given that we don't really know each other...eek! | met girl at store. Hit off well. Few weeks later, will see her again. Find out online shes 31, I'm 23. Worried it Will be an issue for her. Thoughts? |
t3_24k5sa | Advice | Job advice. Should I make the call or not? | I'm debating whether or not I should call my boss and ask him for a lunch meeting.
Summary:
Boss is cold, calculative, manipulative. Does not accept failure, mistakes, or when he doesn't know how to respond to something.
I'm young, knowledgable enough, and the most devout worker I know. (My friends smoke pot - I further my career.)
Situation. I fucked up. Caused his superior to come crashing down on him. Shit rolls downhill. He's called me into his office four times this week to counsel (i.e. chew me out) me. It has never happened in the year and a half I've worked under him. The first three are unrelated, as they just showed me how much he really knows about me.
I work my ass off. I devote damn near 70 % of my life to my work, and assisting my coworkers.
Before work each day, I like to park a few blocks away to smoke and drink my coffee.
I used to be going in to work about an hour early [off the clock] to get shit going, ensuring that my job gets done.
One of the closed office sessions were about me working off the clock.
So today our conversation was regarding my fuck up. In the end I wasn't trained properly, and thought the reason the mistake happened was because it would be impossible to prevent such a mistake. I have already implemented a method to prevent the mistake. I now review every single piece of paper that crosses my path. (about 2000 sheets daily) I literally have no free time to eat, smoke, or relax. No lunch. Just 10 straight hours of attempting to finish my work.
Boss asked to know if there were any problems, at work, home, whatever. He doesn't know me, at all. I would like to enlighten him and introduce myself to him.
He hates even thinking of work once he leaves, but there is no way I'm going to be able to give him an understanding of who I am in that office.
Also, just for a bit more insight without be way | myself and my second shift cohort are the only two employees he manages. He's in a position of high responsibility, and has a huge ego. |
t3_2vqr4m | tifu | TIFU by not knowing how to do laundry | What?! A TIFU that actually happened **today**???
So I recently bought a box of powdered washing detergent because it was dirt cheap and I was short on cash. I have never used powder detergent but I assumed they were just like the tide pods I usually use.
After watching a little Parks & Rec and getting bored, I decided tonight would be a great night to wash my shoes since I got mud on them earlier today.
I simply dumped the correct amount of powder into one of the shoes so I wouldn't have to carry the entire box down to the washing room. I tossed the shoes in the wash and put the money in and stood there to watch (don't judge me. I like to watch my shoes in the washer).
I noticed there were quite a bit of suds in the washing machine but I didn't think anything was awry since I had never used powder before. As the time on the washer began to run out, I started to panic because the bubbles weren't dissipating.
The timer reached zero and I was freaking out because the machine was half bubbles. I opened the door and they spilled out so I closed it as quickly as possible.
I texted my RA and apparently you're supposed to put the powder into the drawer on the washer, just like with liquid detergent. So now I'm trying to figure out what to do. | Bought powdered clothing detergent, didn't realize I was supposed to put it in the drawer on the washing machine, bubbles all in the machine. |
t3_395ubd | relationships | I (33F) just found out that my boyfriend (35M) of 2 years has been cheating on me with a 20 year old (f) | So last night around 8, I am over at my boyfriend's apartment. We're watching TV when all of a sudden there's a loud banging on our door and I hear a girl yelling for him to open the door. I'm about to call the cops when he runs to the door and opens it and pushes her outside and tells her she needs to go. She's furious and keeps yelling and screaming obscenities and then she tosses a stack of papers at me (a book's length worth of text messages from them) and says she's been seeing him for almost a year and had no idea I even existed. I'm completely in shock because I didn't even think he would ever do something like this. I am also extra creeped out because not only her age, but also how young she looks. She's 20 but looks like she's 15. After a bunch of back and forth yelling among all three of us, he finally admitted to it. I just left without saying anything and went back to my place. I just signed a lease with him on a new apartment as well and I'm just freaking out right now and wondering how I could be so dumb as to not realize this. He's been calling me all night and all morning. | my boyfriend of 2 years has been cheating on me, I just signed a lease with him and I don't know what to do |
t3_1lkzdf | relationship_advice | Im 21/m and my 24/f GF are looking towards a lifetime together but I hesitate because I still think of my ex. Please help! | I made a throwaway account as my girlfriend knows my Username. I have been dating my current girlfriend for over a year now and we have hit a point in our relationship where we are thinking seriously about taking our next steps. She is dying for kids (her biological clock started ticking when she was born lol) and I want to be married before kids. She would love to be married as well. I love her so much and she loves me back. The problem is I still cant stop thinking of my ex. I was with her for 6 months and she dumped me nearly two years ago. We never even had sex but I had never felt love like that before. I know that as my first real love she will always be special to me but whenever I think about moving on with my current GF thoughts of my ex make me freeze up. I know there is no chance of anything ever happening with me and my ex ever again and I am scared that ill wind up ruining my current relationship because of my hesitation. What can I do to stop thinking of my ex and allow myself to move on with my life? | I am in love and want to take the next step in my relationship but hesitate because I am still in love with my ex. |
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