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t3_1jxz7c | relationships | I [24/F] am dealing with anger/anxiety issues and taking it all out on my boyfriend [27/M]. | I need to sort out some of my own issues before I sabotage my relationship with my boyfriend of almost a year. I'm really messing up in so many different ways. I feel crazy because I am aware I'm out of control, but I get into this mood where I don't want to stop. It freaks me out a lot because I have anxiety issues that I've been working at for years now (meditation, therapy, etc), but I've never had any issues with outbursts and anger like I'm currently experiencing coupled with the anxiety.
I am currently leaving my job, which my boyfriend believes will ease my anxieties and anger. I can only hope he is right because I'm scaring myself. I literally have had multiple nights in this past week where I've yelled at him, texted and called him an embarrassing amount of times (10-20x), bring up how he should break up with me (even though that's the last thing I want, I love this guy) and just screamed my head off at nothing.
He's told me I'm using him as a punching bag and he keeps forgiving me as I'm screaming at him, or afterwards, even when I've told him not to forgive me. I am being such a bad person. I quickly go from angry to guilty. I'll cry relentlessly to him about how sorry I am and how I am too unhealthy to be with. I think I bring up breaking up because I don't want him to have to deal with me in this weird state I seem to be in. I am truly scared that my outbursts of anger, then anxiety and guilt are going to drive him away. It's like I've never had issues with believing we could become a great team, but now my self-esteem from my outbursts is decreasing and I feel like he should run away from me.
I've never dealt with anger issues before (always been anxious, never angry), so this feeling is really brand new to me. I don't know if anyone has been in any kind of remotely similar situation, but I'd love feedback regardless. | I'm being incredibly out of control with my boyfriend. Treating him terribly and need to figure out ways to stop myself and make it better for him. |
t3_2n0vns | relationships | [M/20] Dated a friend I have known for years [F/19] It all ended, now we dont speak. Should I try contact again? | Basically we were dating for a few months, it all ended in a pretty bad way, basically she got back with an ex of hers. Prior to this, we were friends for years, talking since we were around 5 years old. However due to the situation she basically left me in, I decided I didn't want to speak to her for a while, not while I still had feelings for her and she was back in a relationship with an ex. I was really hurt, so when she tried to "catch up" with me as she didn't want to loose me as a friend, I told her I cant and I dont want to see/speak to her for a while.
Fast foward to today, I have been dating someone else, started a new University met some awesome people and I have calmed down over her and I feel nothing much at all towards her anymore. So should I start contact again, purely in a platonic way. Before shit happened we were really good friends... I'm not sure what to do? | Dated a friend I knew for years, it all ended badly, we don't speak anymore. Should I contact again? |
t3_2woxm7 | tifu | TIFU by lying to my son. | Today is not an ordinary day. Today marks the day of my son's 10th birthday. He has always been a good boy ever since birth, never gave me or his mom that much trouble. He'd always listen and followed instructions really well. Growing up as a family, with him being an older brother of two little sisters, he has always proved himself a young responsible adult. Around last spring, we observed him eyeing an item that he looked interested in. Even though he did not mention it, we knew he wanted it. All his friends had it, and it made us unhappy that we do not have the money to get one for him at the time. We are living from paycheck to paycheck. Since last summer of 2014, we decided to save up money for it. While saving up, my mother-in-law had to be hospitalized due to her health during fall/winter. We are making many payments to pay for the hospital bill and used up the savings for his gift. Unfortunately, the months leading up to his birthday, we hinted/promised that we he will get something that he really wanted. Of course, he guessed correctly after a few tries, but we didn't acknowledge his answer. After my mother-in-law's discharge, we couldn't bear to tell him that we didn't have enough money for his present.
The item that he wanted was | Wife and I promised my son a gift that he wanted since its release, but couldn't buy it for him on his birthday. |
t3_1ocr73 | relationships | So my [21 M] girlfriend [21/F] thinks I cheated on her, when I actually just took care of a drunk girl at my party. | So last night, my buddies and I went to the bar to pregame for a party my house was having. I had about 3 beers, and a girl I've known for a couple years said hi. She asked if she could tag along to the party and we said sure. Before we left though, she kept buying people shots (I refused) and got very, very, VERY drunk.
As we're walking to the party, she is falling all over the place, can barely talk, or even stand. Once we get to the party we decide that she should be put to bed somewhere. My room is upstairs, and has a bed and a bean bag chair. Me and another guy carried her up, gave her some water, laid her on her side and left her to sleep.
I eventually went to bed, only getting changed under the sheets even though this girl was out like a light. She was a classic drunk girl, her skirt was a little hiked up because of the way she was sitting but I made sure not to be a perv and didn't look.
Fell asleep, woke up to my girlfriend and her roommate KICKING DOWN MY DOOR because she didn't know where I was. She starts freaking out, saying I'm a "dirty cheater" because of the passed out drunk girl on my beanbag chair across the room. Drunk girl is fully dressed, mind you. My girlfriend punches me, cusses me out, and starts breaking stuff around my room while I try to stop her. Gf eventually leaves, and I move drunk girl to another room.
I don't know what to do. She's dead set on the idea that I cheated on her, when I was only trying to do the right thing. What can I do!? | Girl was falling over drunk at a party, I let her sleep in a chair across the room and I passed out. Girlfriend kicked down door, girl had skirt slightly pulled up, assumes I cheated on her. |
t3_3ce31u | relationships | I[27F] don't know how to feel about my boyfriend[25M] of 2.5 years hanging out with a girl he had feelings for. | We've been together for 2.5 years, and are currently doing a long distance relationship because of school. The distance will be closed in a couple of months. He has girlfriends at his grad school, which I don't mind. I trust him, but I feel uncomfortable about the situation with one girl in particular.
We were broken up for about 6 months, but still kept in contact. He always told me that he wasn't dating during that time. It turns out that during the time apart, he started having feelings for a close friend of his at school. She didn't feel the same for him, but they still continue to be friends and hang out. He says he's distanced himself a bit from her, and they don't hang out alone. His classmates pretty much see him, the girl, and another friend as "3 amigos" almost. So I am guessing that all 3 of them hangout together a lot. Whenever I find out he's out doing something with friends, he will list her among the friends. It annoys me a little and I just want to immediately get off the phone.
I just feel so insecure about their friendship, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. He says he only wants to be with me, and if she ever changed her mind, he would tell her no. She never did anything wrong, but I somehow still hate her. I hate how she didn't even do anything, and he was still able to fall for her. And it scares me that it could happen again. I think a part of me will always question if we only got back together because she rejected him.
He knows I'm insecure about her, but I've never asked him to stop talking to her or stop hanging out with her. They are in a small grad class, and it would be weird to stop contact with her since they are all in a big circle of friends. I don't know how to handle my feelings. | My bf hangs out with a girl he used to have feelings for. I can't be mad at her because she didn't do anything, or even have feelings for him. I'm insecure and hate feeling this way. |
t3_28cebm | relationships | Me [19M] dumped by my [18F] 2 year relationship, another guy | Girlfriend went to another state for a short holiday with her family. Met up with an ex. Decides she needs a break from me, so we stop talking for a week.
Finally decides to talk to me again to tell me shes fallen inlove with an ex who lives in a completely different state.
So right now shes home from her holiday, a couple days later she says we should end things over a text message.
Later i find out she's still in contact with her ex, and decides she wants to move to that state in a couple of months.
I feel the relationship is done, I'm just struggling to handle it. | How can I get over a text message breakup after a relationship of 2 years, that shes fallen inlove with an ex while on holiday in another state. |
t3_ptyfh | relationships | Boyfriend called me "expensive" | Me (F) 23, boyfriend (M) 28, dating for 6 months
So just the other day my boyfriend was complaining about how his expense is extremely high this month and how he might not make his credit card payment. He stated his car payment is high. And since he's in sales, so he always have to make expenditures first, and then wait for company reimbursements. So basically most of his expenses will be reimbursed the following month. Then he turned to me and said half jokingly "and you are expensive."
I didn't say anything back to him. Because I honestly didn't want to argue over it. But it's been bothering me ever since. I don't see how I'm "expensive". Whenever we go out, I pay for myself. That includes meals, transportations, entertainment, etc. We've always been half half. Whenever I go over to his place, I sometimes bring food, sometimes pay for takeout. So that he's not paying for grocery for TWO.
The only time that I am an extra "expense" is when he buys me flowers, cookies, etc. The simple romantic thing. I always thought that was nice, but I never thought that those things are EXPENSIVE.
It's not like we go out everyday or every weekend. Probably once a month we'll go out and have a nice dinner, avg out to be 50~60 per person, which again, we split. Whenever I want to go out and do something, I always think of cheap things to do: animal shelter, gallery, movies (free tickets from me). Because I know he's always worried about his expense.
We are both working professionals and he makes more than me. I don't understand that if we share the same "expense", if I don't even think that he's "expensive", then how can he say the same thing to me?? Seems like all he wants to do is stay home, watch tv and have sex. That's not expensive. What he said to me just bothers me so much lately I don't even know how to approach it. | boyfriend called me expensive, even though we make decent amount of money. We are strickly 50/50 and we don't go out a lot or spend crazy money. I don't know how to respond to this. |
t3_kafcd | relationships | 14 years old, no contact with GF | Sorry if this is confusing, I'm writing this in a hurry.
Hi r/relationships. I'm 14, male, and I'm in my first relationship that has so far lasted ~5.5 months. Over the summer, my girlfriend often came over, and she told me that she asked her parents to come over. Yesterday after we left the bus stop she told me that she couldn't walk home with me (she usually walks me home or I walk her home).
I found this strange, so I called her as soon as I got home and told her to get on Facebook. She told me that she couldn't, and she won't be able to for a long time. I asked her why and she hung up. I called her at least 25 times afterwards, with no
avail.
This morning, I saw that she sent me a message on Facebook that was sent around 2 AM. She was basically telling me that every time that she came over that she sneaked out when no one was home.
The last time that she came over (which was last monday), her parents had caught her. She had sneaked onto her sister's laptop (I think hers got confiscated) and she told me that she wasn't allowed to come over or talk to me on facebook anymore (she's from a really conservative christian family). During school, I have no classes or lunch with her, so now my only way to get in contact with her is in the morning before school or on the bus. What do I do? | I'm 14, male, we've been together for 5 and a half months, can't have any contact with GF, what do I do? |
t3_e7yq2 | AskReddit | I told my friend I faked all my orgasms with my ex-boyfriend for years. He was outraged. What do you think? | I told my friend tonight that I never had a real orgasm with my ex-boyfriend who I dated for a number of years and always faked it. He was outraged and called me a liar. I tried to explain that at first I thought there was something wrong with me, like that I just couldn't have an orgasm. I felt bad about it and didn't want my boyfriend of the time to feel inadequate so I just faked it. And then it was kind of hard to stop. I never wanted to have that conversation. And he would never want to stop having sex until he thought I'd orgasm-ed too. I tried to argue that it didn't really hurt anything. He still doesn't know that I was faking. And now I'm with someone I've never had to fake it with. (On a side note I was very excited to realize that there's nothing wrong with me and that I am quite capable of having one). My friend tried to argue that I never gave my ex the chance to change anything and make it possible. I see what he's saying, but do you think I was mean to fake it that whole time? | I never had a real orgasm with my ex-boyfriend and faked it every time for years. He never found out. Do you think that's mean? |
t3_zae8t | relationships | My [24/f] girlfriend has emotional and parental issues and berates herself constantly. Any ideas to help her cope? | Sorry for the long post:
Ok I'm a [24/m] and I have been dating my girlfriend [24/f] for over two years, and needless to say she's had a pretty shitty life, a brief run down;
Her family is beyond dysfunctional, her mom is from Latin America and is quiet, reclusive and doesn't really listen well, she even has anxiety and fear of going out by herself. She's been through multiple marriages after my gf's father that have always involve controlling asshats.
Her father was verbally abusive to get as a child and basically destroyed her family life after he it sent to jail, he wasted all of her and her brothers college fund and basically made them lose their house. Hes still involved in her life, he knows he's messed up, but he's prone to emotional outbursts and makes the issue all about himself.
She had been bullied and abandoned by her "friends" during her childhood, especially when her dad got arrested, she's emotionally withdrawn and quiet, it took me years to gain her trust, but she's a really amazing person. She trusts me, I trust her.
I have been thinking about having her see a therapist and maybe help. I'm a bit at a loss and jut looking for ideas. Thanks. | Girlfriend has ton of baggage, family, emotional etc. looking for ideas to help her cope or take steps to get better. |
t3_34zt1a | relationships | I [23 M] in love with my friend [21F] for the last year. We've known eachother for 3-4 years, but she likes another person [27M]. Should I step away physically from her life if she starts dating somebody? | I really have fallen for this girl and told her how i felt last september, but sadly it wasn't reciprocate.
I really like our friendship but I fell jealous and awful everytime she tries to flirt with our other friend...that isn't interested.
I've been thinking about what should I do if she ever dates someone, because it hurts emotionally.
We see eachother very frequently since we both go train in the same place and frankly I tried to maintain our friendship because she is an amazing friend and i really tried to see her as just a friend.
I tried to meet other women, but since I'm not in a relationship with anyone I can't overcome my feelings. | I like a girl. She doesn't like me back. Tried to see her as just a friend but can't and don't want to make things awkward. |
t3_fitpo | AskReddit | Thinking of applying for a Masters (LLM in Human Rights/International law) in a Scandinavian country. Any fellow redditors out there with experience to share? | I have been doing some research on LLMs (taught in english) in Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark.
I've found this [thread] very helpful.
My question basically relates to the ''teaching methods'' in the Nordic countries' Universities; as in the academic aspect of a Masters degree.
Here is some personal information that i think is important to my question:
I did my LLB in the UK and am currently finishing a Masters in European law in France.
The matter of the fact is that I despised the ''teaching methods'' in France. I found the Masters was a sort of prolongation of the typical French Licence (LLB) with practically no room for actual ''learning''. Maximum contact (as in too many lectures), leaving practically no time for personal reading. As for the evaluation, the professors expected a simple regurgitation of the courses that were fed to us in lectures and nothing more. Contradicting their material/opinions was practically forbidden.
The system in France is radically different from the UK one (minimal contact, maximum personal reading, developping own opinions etc) which I found to be a better approach to law.
so, my choices are now between the UK for a Masters (safe choice) or embarking upon an unknown adventure in the North. | is there anyone out there who has done/is doing a Masters in one of the Nordic countries and can give me some info on the teaching methods? |
t3_3f5i52 | relationships | Girlfriend (26 F) of three months doesn't want me (28 M) to go hiking with female friend. | I need some advice so I thought I would post it here...
I have a friend (F26) whom just got married in January to one of my best friends. Long story short, she wants to go hiking/camping in the mountains west of where I live. Her SO is on deployment currently. I don't share any feelings with my best friends with her that I do with my current girl friend. I love to go hiking and so does my best friend's wife.
My girl friend (26F) doesn't want me to go out into the woods with just her. She says its very inappropriate, and is very insecure about the situation. I've only been dating her for three months. She thinks I have feeling for her, but in reality she is just a good friend of mine.
Is this at a point where I have to choose her over my friends? I just want to be happy and have a good time. Advice would be greatly appreciated!! | Girlfriend is jealous of my best friend's wife, and doesn't want to go hiking. Need advice on the best direction I should take. |
t3_3ccjh5 | relationships | Me [23 F] with my BF [30 M] 1 Year, found a pair of women's pants in his bedroom. Confronted him about it but his answers seemed strange. | Throwaway since he uses reddit as well.
Last night I was looking through a drawer or my clothes at my boyfriends house and found a pair of black yoga type pants that were definitely not mine. My boyfriend was in the room so I asked him who's pants they were. He took them from me and said "I don't know, yours?" and I responded that they weren't mine. He then said they were probably the girl (28F) who his roommate (28m) recently broke up with.
He then started to say he found them (I think) but cut himself off. We didn't speak about it for the rest of the night but I had an uneasy feeling.
I dropped it for the time being but I couldn't help thinking, how would her pants end up in his room and in my drawer? Then this morning I woke up early to get ready and he got up fairly early as well. Usually he is still asleep when I leave. The first thing he did was move his backpack and the pants to the office.
I thought this was very strange. He never gets up early and then to move the pants first thing?
Today at work he g-chatted me asking if everything was okay because I seemed a bit off. I responded I still felt weird about the pants and the fact he moved them this morning.
He replied:
"1) no idea where they came from, but yes my shit gets mixed in with roomates all the time
2) i moved my backpack and didn't realize they were on top, so they were in my office this morning
wasn't on purpose, i just got up on time for once. my backpack had my laptop so i just grabbed it when i woke up is all."
This also seemed weird, he accidentally moved them? But then again, would a girl really be able to leave without her pants?
He works from home all day in a different city than I do but we spend most nights together. Just not sure if this all ads up or not. | Found foreign pants in bf's room. He says he has no idea where they came from but might be his roommates' ex. All seems a little weird to me. |
t3_10ir4y | relationships | Girlfriend (16 f) is getting to friendly with some of her guy friends and I (16 m) am going insane over it. | So here is the story. My girlfriend of 13 months had always been faithful to me and I know always will be; but there is something that is very deeply bothering me. Her to best friends (both guys) say and do things that are inappropriate to her in front of me and when I'm not there. They will try to hold her hand, put their arm around her, ask to kiss or make out with her, and tell her that they love her. I have repeatedly gotten on to both of them and have blown a gasket in there face but they still won't stop.
The thing that really gets me is that she does certain things back that I am not in full support of such as telling them she love them. I know she means it as a friend but I don't really like her saying it nor does it help the problem. I have been having dreams and nightmares over this and I can't stand it. Of the times I've confronted her she has met me with "well fine Bajrx2 I'll just stop being friends with them" and when I try to say that is not what i want or am saying she replies with "no its fine I understand" as if I am doing her some great injustice. She is in a magnet program in our school and doesn't have that many good friends but even with that fact they have no right to be doing what they're doing.
She will also go on saying they pay more attention to her even though I have literally abandoned all of my friends for her and when she is around me I follow her around like a lost puppy. She greats them with more enthusiasm then she does me as if she isn't remotely happy to see me.
Am I in the wrong? Am I being fair about this? Breaking up is not an option because I love her too much and she is so very important to me. She isn't a bitch she is a nice reasonable girl except for this situation. Should I put my foot down with her or tell the friends to back off? | My gf seems to not want to be around and is getting too friendly with some of her best friends and it is driving me crazy |
t3_3tl3ar | tifu | TIFU by leaving my Spotify open | This happened yesterday. I was in class and I wanted to listen to some music. I opened spotify and left it in the background instead of minimizing it. There's this really annoying girl who sits next to me. She thinks we're best friends or something like that and is always claiming I "owe" her because she is letting me be her friend. I kinda just ignore her most of the time, but today she looked over at my computer and got my spotify name. I only noticed when I got home and saw that I had a follower and recognized her name in the username. I immediately went through all of my albums and made everything private but it was too late she new all of the artists I listened to, a few my friends would make fun of me for forever if they knew I listened to them and now they do. She gave everyone my username and claimed that I had made everything private because I listened to some rather embarrassing stuff. Friends all believe her and I shall be ridiculed forever till the end of time. | Left Spotify open, girl got username, claimed I listened to weird shit. Teased about it till the end of time. |
t3_1w9ffz | tifu | TIFU by laughing at a mentally retarded girl in public | A little back story: I was at my little sisters high school basketball game, sitting with three of my friends, my mom, dad, my friends mom, and my sisters boyfriend. Well during the whole game, my friends and I were making a lot of noises, screaming out things like "you suck" or "you have no ass". Close to the end of the fourth quarter, we were making noises left and right, and this girl next to my friend starts making a tard noises. I can hear it and I start busting out laughing, wondering why she would make such a funny noise. Because I was laughing so hard, my three friends were laughing and my parents were too. I was really close to pissing myself and my friends and I were crying. After the game I met up with a friend who was on the opposite side of the gym. She asked me why I was laughing. After I told her why, she informed I "shouldn't be so mean, because she's mentally retarded" I'm positive I'm going to hell. | I was laughing at a tard noise from who I thought wasn't handicapped, turned out she was handicapped. |
t3_fvhpz | running | Flatfooted runners: Any success with curing Plantar Faciitis? Please help! | I am flatfooted, most likely because my parents made me wear shoes at a very young age so that my feet did not develop.
Ive had plantar faciitis for about 4 months, got it from wearing Vibram Five Fingers without actually having developed my muscles prior to wearing them.
Flatfooters, what would you suggest? I wear a brace every night an stretch my calves upon waking up and before going to sleep. I heard that it takes as long as you have had it to get rid of it.
I still wear my VFFs because I heard that I need to develop my fascia in order to get rid of plantar faciitis. Is this BS?
I really really want to walk barefoot, it feels great.
Tips?
-Tape?
-Ice? How? When? Works? Why?
-Do you walk barefoot while trying to heal or do you absolutely avoid waling barefoot?
-What is your experience?
Will a flatfooted person every be able to walk comfortably with bare feet?
................................................................. | Im flatfooted, have plantar faciitis and Im looking for tips, hopefully a few people with flat feet will chime in with their experience. |
t3_3tntyh | relationships | Husband [34 M] upset that I would like my [30 F] x-mas gift this year to be the ability to participate in the Reddit Secret Santa Gift Exchange. | We're not rich people, but I love love love to buy gifts. He said he wants to buy my present; I said "Isn't it (my gift) supposed to be about what I want?", and apparently now I'm selfish because I want to use the money he would have spent on me to spend on someone else.
I'm just tired of the argument and a little sore that the thing I really want, I won't get... because he needs to buy me a gift and doesn't understand that letting me do this would be the PERFECT gift. Wat do, Reddit? (Note: Other areas good, will not divorce.) | Not rich; want to use money that would have been spent on my gift to participate in Reddit Secret Santa; husband upset because he wants to spend that on me. |
t3_qksmt | AskReddit | I believe my neighbor is stealing my cats. [Details Inside] What can I do about this? | Since December 2011, my neighbor across the street has been placing animal food and water on my property (I live in rural Kansas, so it is a bit strange to me to go from ones property to your neighbors than how it might be perceived in the city). Now, this would not have been a big deal to me if it were not for that fact that it attracts skunks and all other sorts of nasty critters of the country. Critters that I do not want on my property (I raise Chickens and would rather they not be slaughtered by the wildlife), but also the fact that they have been placing it after I have gotten new cats.
Last December was when I was told by my daughter that after our cat disappeared that the food stopped being placed at the end of our property. Fast forward to last week, I replaced my lost cat with two new barn cats; my family began to notice one of the cats leaving the barn more often and heading up towards the road where the food is being placed. Now, I am getting very tired of this, I already wrote my two neighbors a letter asking them if they are the ones doing it to stop (have yet to mail it), and in the morning if I notice food on my way out to work I throw it out and take the empty containers. I was just curious if there were any legal measures or things I should take note of before mailing the letters and continuing to dump the food out. | I would like to get my cat-crazy neighbors to stop their shenanigans, as it is hurting my daughter to lose her cats. |
t3_1cusur | relationships | I (21F) am obsessed with boyfriend (21M) of two years, can't study because of it.. help? | Hi friends of Reddit,
I'm in a bit of a pickle. Have been with this guy for two years and love him to pieces.. But think I have some dependency issues. I think I spend around 80% of my day thinking of my boyfriend, it's so bad that I can't read a book or study without him plaguing my mind. I just want to be able to focus on other things, but I'm constantly wondering what he's up to, what will happen to our relationship...
I'm obsessed. I want to focus more on myself but I'm struggling so much; I'm so easily affected by him too. If he gives me the slightest bit of attitude, or doesn't reply to my text I think the worst and get sad and can be miserable all day..
What is wrong with me? | Wee bit obsessed with partner where it's gotten to the point where I'm not functioning as well as I should be, ideas? |
t3_4so3om | relationships | Me [20M] with my bestfriend [20F] not sure I should tell her after what happened | I've posted something before on this topic on here, if you want to get the full backstory and idea of what is going on here is the link to that:
So going off the ending of that post I decided it would be best if I told my friend I thought I had feelings for her. Since we only recently began talking again (maybe a month now) I figured I'd wait a little bit and make sure the dynamic is still the same. However, a close mutual friend of ours decided to tell her the other day that he wants a serious relationship and he wants to give it a shot with her. She told me all of this and basically he said he is just lonely and wants someone, he never said he had feelings for her or anything. She wanted to still be friends with him but he said he couldn't anymore and she told me about how she thinks it is selfish, and is a little annoyed by how he doesn't even want to talk to her anymore.
Now my problem is, I think it is a terrible idea to tell her after that happened. The thing is, unlike the other friend, I actually have feelings for her, I don't want to just be in a relationship with someone. Her past two relationships she's been through while I've known her she's been cheated on, and I just want to treat her how she deserves. When I'm around her, her smile and laugh are just uplifting and I love being with her.
I'd feel terrible if I started to distance myself even if I didn't tell her, because that would mean she lost a close friend and her best friend distanced himself from her all within a month. But I can't keep doing this anymore, it's mentally exhausting. The thinking about her, and the "what ifs" we were dating, or just playing scenarios in my head is starting to get to me.
I'd appreciate any advice given, I'm really at a loss for what to do. | Decided I would tell my best friend I have feelings for her, another close friend did and it didn't go over well, now reconsidering everything and don't know what to do |
t3_25uexv | relationships | Me [21 F] with my bf [21 M] feeling unsure, wondering if his response is suspicious | bf works out of town, his job can keep him for up to 4 hours after his scheduled time off. it just so happens that a "good girl friend of his" that he used to work with (who is married) was going out tonight. it's 3 hrs after his scheduled time off and i haven't heard from him. he finally calls and starts LAUGHING when i ask him if he is out with his friend. he says no, why would i be out with her? and keeps laughing. he says he thinks its funny that i think he is out with her. | bf is 3 hrs late getting off work, supposidly isn't out with his friend but when he tells me he isn't he laughs and thinks its funny. |
t3_2dftgr | tifu | TIFU by making my mom think that her father was contacting her from the afterlife | So, this all started several years back. When I was in high school my sister drove me crazy. She was always yelling at me for something, so, being a younger brother, I took every opportunity to prank her. One day I was moving things in the attic and I noticed her vanity mirror amongst other furniture (my parents were storing it there while she was in college). Because she's really gullible/superstitious I wrote "Though I am dead, I will always watch you" in the dust on the mirror.
I figured this was a long con and eventually my vaguely cryptic message would startle her. Flash forward 5 years or so my Grandpa dies. My mom was putting some things from his estate in the attic when she notices the mirror. I get a call from my mom raving about how my grandfather is contacting her from the afterlife – how he's trying to communicate with us. Now I'm on the other end of the phone in disbelief because what are the fucking odds that this is how that prank would end. The whole family is in a tizzy and I haven't told them the truth - I'm not even sure if I should. | – I tried to scare my sister by writing on a mirror, but my mom found it after my granddad died, making her think he was contacting her from the afterlife. |
t3_2tye65 | relationships | My GF is very selfish and gets angry with everything I do, should I still dating her? | So I've been with my GF 1 year and 4 months but she is very very selfish and gets angry as soon as I do anything out of what she likes, and I have bad times dealing with this coz I try to be as she likes but I Dont feel like it's me and sometimes I end up acting in front of her, I am even afraid to talk to her sometimes coz I Dont want her to get angry. We argue a lot coz all this and its what im trying to srop. Also sex has been horrible since the beginning and we dont do it often with this I mean 15 times or so in the whole relation, she always states she doesnt like it which is weird has never happened to me with any other gfs.
But in all honesty I have had more fun with her than anyone else ever and I am really comfortable when she isnt angry and Im happy kind of but its getting less and less since im getting tired of it. Im just asking ur opinions, I know that I should think about this myself but just imagine urself in my situatión and what would u do? Im kinda lost :((
We are both 19 almost 20, we were both born in May. Boy and girl | GF very selfish and gets angry often, bad sex but very humorous and im real happy when she is not angry por pissed or smth. Opinions? |
t3_3lzljz | travel | Canadians, be aware when booking on Hotwire. I got ripped off. | Just wanted to share my experience with fellow Canadians over an issue I had with Hotwire, which could cost you quite a bit of money.
Last week, I tried to book a hotel here in Canada with Hotwire. I was on their site and the prices were showing in Canadian dollars. Unfortunately, when I went to accept the rate, the price nearly doubled. I called and spoke to an employee over the phone. She apologized and said that because of an increased demand in that city, the price was higher. She found me a similar rate at a different hotel.
I booked the other hotel room and a few days later checked my credit card statement. I realized that they billed me in US dollars rather than Canadian.
I quickly called to get it straightened out. They reviewed the phone call and admitted that they never told me the room would be in USD. However, since they are a US company, they always bill in USD so it was "my fault for not asking." They would not give me a refund.
I mentioned that the original price I told them was in Canadian and the phone agent was the one who switched to USD without notifying me. But they were firm on the fact that it was my fault for not asking what currency the transaction would be in.
I've done some reading and this seems to be a very common practice for Hotwire! | Booked a hotel in Canada in CAD, but Hotwire switched it to USD, so I'm left paying 25% more for the hotel room I booked. |
t3_3mlewz | relationships | How do I [22M] get my girlfriend [22F] to stop worrying and fretting about everything? | Pretty much what the title says. She tends to worry and fret about a lot of stuff, big and small. A couple recent examples:
1) What to get her sister for her birthday. She'll spend days or even weeks trying to decide on 1 or 2 little things because in her mind she's going "Is she gonna like this? Will she use it? Is she gonna be disappointed in my selection? Is she gonna think I'm a bad sister if she doesn't like it? What if her other sister gets her something way better. etc etc."
2) We graduated college a few months ago and she wants to send post cards and thank you cards to some of her professors. "I want it to say how I'm doing. It's too late to just be a thank you. Are they gonna think I've been blowing them off? I don't know what kind of cards to get. Who should get post cards and who should get thank you's? etc etc"
I understand that she wants to do her best in everything she does, but she drives herself nuts trying, which she doesn't need because she just started grad school, which is way more important than trying to find the perfect gift or card. I try comforting her and explaining that not everything is worth worrying about, but she just can't let go. I'm scared it's taking a huge toll on her mentally and I hate to see her bummed out and disappointed in herself.
I don't know what's the source of it. She's a perfectionist and she knows it, her mom is the same way (is anxiety hereditary?), she tries to make everyone happy (which is very hard to do).
Any advice as to how to get her to take a breath and think about what's worth worrying about? | My girlfriend worries and frets about a lot of things, big and small, a lot of which aren't worth worrying about. |
t3_2v6g6t | relationships | I'm [22m] having trouble in the sack [21f] almost a year together. | I'm having trouble keep it up in bed. Me and my girlfriend have done it tons before.
At the start of our relationship I was a virgin and she was not and I had trouble keeping it up when we were going to have sex. Eventually we did it and we had been having sex ever since.
Recently i have been having trouble getting it up. It's been about a month that I've been having problems... at first it was that I was really sensitive down there sometimes and I would finish almost right away. Now it's gotten to the point where when we are about to do it I lose it but only when I go to get on top. We've managed to do it when she's on top and then I can roll her over and be on top and I'm fine, but it's just starting on top that I can't maintain it.
I get really nervous and my heart is beating so fast. I think it's because she's expecting me to make her orgasm every time although she said she isn't. | i can't keep it up when I'm on top. Possibly because of anxiety. She says it's ok but then gets frustrated at times. Said "I'm not the one having problems" made me sad. |
t3_3suzo2 | relationships | My(24f) boyfriend(30m) seems to always assume I love military men... | And it pisses me off!
We have been together for a year and 5 months. He's a wonderful and honest man. We have had our ups and downs, and he has never lied to me and I have never felt so comfortable to fully trust and my insecurities have actually subsided with this man. But every once in a while something will pop up of how I used to live on a military base, or I'll see a picture of a past friend post something like a good hunting trip, he'll ask who that was, and I'll mention he's a friend from a base I lived on. Then he will go along the lines of how "Oh yeah I'm sure you banged so many military guys!" And jokingly laugh.
Reason being was my step father is retired military and I grew up on a couple of bases and well of course I made good friends who I talk to once in a full moon. I see them as family from being around them, and most of the kids I grew up with became military.
I know I may be rambling but it's had me upset and angry everytime I can't mention something of when I lived in base because he will always refer to how "Oh yeah you are probably the military banger!" Of course he says it jokingly, but he brings it up each time something is mentioned about something relating to military.
But I've told him it hurts me how he assumes that and it makes me feel like he does it to make me admit it, but no, Reddit, They were too much of a family to me to see the people I grew up with and knew to even see them as something in a sexual way.
How do I communicate more clearly to him about this issue? It really does affect me and especially my confidence of why he would think this. | BF always assumes I've fucked numerous military men and thinks I have a thing for them. When I don't, only because I was raised military. |
t3_1de0cu | relationships | I (22f) am pregnant again, 1 year after an abortion. I don't know how I can reconcile logic with emotion. | I'm 22 years old, and this time last year I was in a 6 month old relationship. We found out, much to our shock, that I was 3 months pregnant. I had been having monthly bleeding still, and no pregnancy symptoms. We mutually decided that an abortion would be the best course of action, and had one. We both have children from previous relationships (I know it sounds like a lifetime of bad decisions, but to me it sounds like a lifetime of bad luck- and we both love our children and have full custody of them, take very good care of them), so bringing another into the mix seemed most unwise. However, the experience was so traumatizing for me, I swore I'd never go through with it again.
Fast forward to now. I am on a new birth control, but this last week, I've been having symptoms... so I took a test. Sure as sure can be, a pink positive flushed into view. I'm on the verge of being a wreck- I don't know how I can function with this on my plate. I absolutely DO NOT want another abortion... as much as I absolutely DO NOT want to bring another child into a low-income household, that I am also not emotionally prepared for. Adoption is not an option. My boyfriend, of course, doesn't want a baby either, but doesn't have to live through the horror of having an abortion, either. I feel like there's absolutely no way to escape this terrible situation- if I had another abortion, no baby to worry about, but then I have to recover with the guilt and pain of having 2. If I have another baby, that's asking for yet another damaged, stretched-too-thin home for us and our kids.
I'm looking for any advice... any at all. | I'm pregnant again after having an abortion last year and both having another child and having another abortion seems unfathomable and awful. |
t3_elsx2 | needadvice | My friend's old boss refuses to pay him | My friend is not the brightest so I'm trying to help guide him through this. He was hired as an independent contractor for laying cable (cat5) in corporate stores such as K-Mart, Apple, etc. He now has a new job but the boss from that company is dodging the shit out of paying him for several jobs (almost $600 of work unpaid.) It has been 60+ days and the guy shows no sign of paying. What should he do? Also hiring a lawyer is out of the question. He can't afford it and neither can I.
My best suggestions are to report the boss to the Pennsylvania Bureau of Labor and Industry (we're in PA) and file a claim but I'm not exactly sure how either of those two deals work. If he were to file a claim, how much money does he ask for? For the past two months he's had to borrow money from numerous people and has been eating jack shit. Are those things he should consider when filing a claim?
Please help him out. He's really the nicest guy and its been hell for him these past couple months. | My friend's boss refuses to send pay for work as an independent contractor. No money for a lawyer. What do? |
t3_4za6yj | relationships | [19M] My best friend [19F] just got out of a relationship and seems to now be coming onto me? | This girl hasn't been my best friend for long and I hardly even consider her my best friend, she seems to reassure me that were best friends every time I see her. For example I'll say "can I ask you something?" And she'll say "of course we're best friends!" It irritates me a little, but anyways she just got out of a relationship and has been texting me more so than usual lately. We hung out a couple of days ago and she was clearly flirting (constantly touching me, being overly nice, etc) and she brought up the fact that one of her coworkers thought her and I were dating (she does this shit all the time...constantly telling me how people think we're dating). Another thing that really pissed me off is when I brought up a girl that I like she said "she's no good for you she's a bitch" im pretty sure she has never really met this girl. Idk what to do, she's a good friend but I would never date her. How do I tell her I'm not interested in her without making it awkward? | My friend just got out of a relationship and is now coming onto me and talking shit about the girl I'm trying to really date, how do I tell her I'm not interested? |
t3_51nmui | relationships | Am I[19M] being a douche to a friend[19M] who owes me money? | So I've been friends with my friends (lets call him fred) since High School. One day he got his car towed and I had to use money from MY pocket to get his car out the pound because he didn't have any money and he didn't want his parents to know his car got towed. So I paid it (approx. 350~$) and we went home with a story to tell.
Before I agreed to the deal, I specifically said that he has to pay me all of money later and he agreed to it.
He paid me a 100$ a week after the incident and then he SLOWLY paid me around 180$ in 10 months. We are both college students so we don't make that much money and I'm in dire need of cash to pay off books.
Fast forward to today. He bought something for me that I needed and it costed 40$ and I told him I'll pay it back. Then in my head, I forgot that he still owed me around 70$ so I told him I'll just reduce it. Then he gets all offended and making a big deal out of it. Now all my friends are pissed at me too.
So reddit tell me, am I being a douche about this whole situation? | Friend owes me 70$ and he paid something that I needed for 40$ and told him I'll duduct the 40$ from what he owes. Friend then gets pissed and so are my other circle of friends. What do. |
t3_1rhwy8 | personalfinance | I am pretty sure all of you already know this, but please don't forget to shop around for car insurance! | My parents have always taken care of their finances by themselves and even though they have never been rich they have always had enough to live happy. They were out of town last week and asked me to go and make their car insurance payment. My mom drives a new truck and my dad a truck he bought about 5 years ago. So I go to the house and get their insurance statement only to find out they have been paying about $260 for those two cars. This are 2 people that have never been in an accident and the last time my dad got a speeding ticket was 7 years ago. I was shocked to find out that Farmers had been charging them so much for so long. I went ahead and got a quote from the major insurance companies and got one from Geico that had more coverage than farmers and that was $100 cheaper. When they got back I told them about it and they said that they had been told that they were already getting one of the best deals around and because they aren't tech savvy they hadn't thought of checking online for more prices. Yesterday they changed and now they an extra $100 a month. | If you haven't checked for a lower priced insurance in a while do it right now! You could be paying too much! |
t3_40mz4p | relationships | Me [45F] with my husband [55M] of 15 years, who offered to but won't fix my elliptical and gets pissed if I mention it | I've been happily married for 15 years. Husband is very handy but also depressed. I think he's coming out of it though. He's self-employed and for the last few years he was just not doing anything, literally sleeping all day. But he's changed his diet and he's starting to be productive again. I think he should really see a therapist and maybe get meds, but he refuses and that's that.
Back in November my elliptical broke. He offered to fix it, which I really really want to be fixed as it's the only piece of exercise equipment I've ever really enjoyed. Awesome! But he hasn't done it and if I mention it in any way, even just to say I'd like to hire someone to fix it, he gets annoyed and snarls at me, saying he'll do it. Thanks! But damn, it's been two months and he still hasn't.
I think it's become a matter of pride but I really just want the damn thing fixed and it's just stupid and frustrating at this point. I'm going to hire someone to fix it but I know it'll piss him off and hurt him, and I don't want to do that. I just don't know what else to do. | Husband offered to do a thing 2 months ago, isn't doing it. I want to hire a professional to do it but I think it'll hurt him. Better way to handle it, reddit? |
t3_1g6iud | relationship_advice | [23M] and [24F] with a bun in the oven. Too much responsibility? | Hey reddit,
Before I start, to clarify, I am not in a relationship with with said female and have only been 'seeing' her for a few weeks.
So a bit of back story: A few months ago I briefly met this girl through a mutual friend, but have been talking to her ever since and getting to know her. Recently ( a few weeks ago ) we decided to catch up and start hanging out together. Now up until this point we got a long really well and we had both hit it off. The week before we decided to catch up however, she said she needed to tell me something and that she would understand if i didn't want to talk to her / see her afterwards.
The bombshell: It turns out that a few months before we met she was the victim of a non-consensual incident ( to put it nicely ) and that she had fallen pregnant. While she had taken every precaution to double and triple check for this - doctors appointments, morning after pill etc all results came back negative. A few months later however when she began feeling sick, she decided to get an ultrasound and to her surprise she was 5 months pregnant.
Now apart from this bit of news, I still decided to catch up with her and we've been hanging out ever since. I know we both like each other but I guess because of her circumstance I'm not entirely sure what to do. The inevitability that she is going to have a child is pretty daunting for me because I'm not sure if I am ready to be in a relationship with someone who has a child, not to mention will have to devote the majority of their time into looking after and raising them.
Also I can't help feeling that if we started to date, that I would somehow start to feel some sort of responsibility towards helping raise her child.
Any thoughts here would be great! | Met a girl who was the victim of rape, having a child, not sure if can deal with that level of responsibility yet, but really like the girl. |
t3_2z87ts | relationships | Me [18F] with my "friend" [21 M] of 8 months. How do I stop letting him intefere with my life? | excuse grammar. On my phone.
At first it was fun: we met in class, i developed a crush on him, we'd sit together, we ended up kissing and then I really startes getting feelings.
We slept together, and now my mind wont stop chasing after him. There are some things that are deal-killers for me that make me not want to date/ be involved with him romantically anymore.
But i find myself obessesively thinking about things he's said to me, or what he's up to, or when he's going to show up for class. Sometimes i cant study or think straight because im analyzing all the things that happened between us.
I need this to stop but i cant cut him out of my life completely because i see him too often. | how do you stop thinking about someone and move on with your life, when you know theyre no good for you? |
t3_2rfnue | cats | Help Needed- Bland Diet for Very Picky Eater | My 1-year old male cat has been throwing up lately, but going to the bathroom and acting normally so no issues otherwise. My vet thinks his stomach may be irritated and recommended a bland diet of boiled chicken with white rice, then gradually re-introducing his normal food after a few days.
I'm willing to give it a try, but Smudge is a very picky eater. He's the only cat I've ever known who won't touch canned food or meat/fish; he only will eat his normal food which is Blue Buffalo Wilderness Indoor. He needs to lose about a half pound, so the vet recommended switching to a less dense food a couple of months ago, but he is not having it. Even when I mixed just 5 or 6 kibbles of the new stuff into his bowl, he picked them out and put them on the floor. I've also tried the "he'll eat if he's hungry" approach, which dragged on for 2 full days before I caved in and gave him the usual food.
So, I'm hoping someone here can help me with this... I will try the chicken and rice approach and a prescription canned food that was recommended, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this issue and what worked for your kitty!
Obligatory picture: | my cat is a picky eater but needs to go on a bland diet and I'm worried he'll just starve himself. :( |
t3_h1voe | AskReddit | I'm wondering if I have a case to sue, and could sure use some educated help :) | Hey there... I need a little legal advice.
On Friday evening I was at a bar (in Nova Scotia). We had just arrived, and while walking back from the room with the atm in it to the bar floor itself, I slipped off of a completely hidden ramp (this thing is stealthy) and broke my foot. We had just arrived at the bar, I had 2 beer before hand, and was wearing flats (so I wasn't drunk and flopping around).
The ramp is in a very dark area (no lighting around it, on it, directed towards it). The carpet of the ramp is identical to that of the carpet all around it. The ramp itself is probably 3/4 of a foot high at the top, and it's a gradual enough slope that you barely notice it (unless of course you fall off the side).
After the fall I sat at our table for a few minutes. The waitress didn't ask if I was okay, did not offer help, she just said that it happens all the time. We had to ask for ice, she didn't offer.
I just started a new job where I stand all day, and was told today that because I can't stand and won't be able to for 3-4 weeks (at least not for hours at a time) I will most likely be losing my position. I also had to go buy a rather expensive moon boot (walking cast) in order to get around at all.
I'm actually lucky that I only broke my foot - very close to both sides of the ramp are tables and chairs.. I could have easily done more damage to myself, and I'm concerned that if nothing is done someone else could.
Do I have a valid case? | Broke my foot in an establishment due to their shoddy setup, which is resulting in job loss. can I sue? |
t3_4twwv0 | relationships | Me [27F] post-first date with [27M] - is it weird to message him in this situation? | Hey everyone! Had a date with a guy from OKC yesterday (both 27 if it matters). I had a great time, but couldn't quite get a read on if it was mutual or if he is just naturally outgoing/friendly.
Date ended, he made a vague reference to hanging out again, and asked for my number. I thought he was going for a hug, and accidentally rejected his kiss by turning my face a bit and he caught my cheek instead.
Now I'm worried he doesn't think I'm interested, even though I gave him my number right before. Normally I would just send a follow up message saying 'had a great time,would love to do it again' to smooth things over, but I don't have his phone number since he hasn't texted me.
Would it come off as desperate if I messaged him on OKC saying I'd love to go out again, or should I wait for him to text?
Someone save me from my own awkwardness! Thanks! | Accidentally messed up first date kiss - is it weird to fix/message over OKC if he has my phone number? |
t3_52fbta | Advice | How to speak to your boss about current issues within your business | hi im a final year student and im currently working at a hotel that i see some issues that i think needs to be fixed to help grow company but since of my age and the lack of experience i have I dont know how to approach this issue.
One of the main issue that i want to talk about is the lack of business culture within our organisation and the need for an HR since our hotel was a 3 star but is moving to a 4 star, i think it needs to have proper management structure. Things like housekeeping needs to be better maintained since our standards are still in the 3 star level and the housekeeping staff are really awful employees where i heard one of the team leaders say if theres rubbish in the alleyway they wont stop to pick it up because "its not their job". Also, i think that generally most employees are not happy and unmotivated to work because of the stress that managers give them since theres only two managers within the whole organisation and they overload and give some of the management duties to the team leaders which gets upset because their pay is the same but have more responsibilities. So overall this business is depressing. From what I've studied at uni, they say that u can have exactly the same business structure, business model and the same facilities as a successful business but the only difference that makes the other business successful are their employees because they are people and everyone do things differently and this is all about motivating employees and having a good organisational culture and about their drive to think from the business perspective and how to constantly improve the business. | Some issues happening in a hotel i work at which is upgrading from a 3 star to 4 star and i am just worried about the transformation process happening as their are many issues identified and i want to help make this transformation a successful one |
t3_3fgniq | relationships | Ever tell a friend you were getting feelings? How did it turn out? | Okay, here's the story, with some context. I (36/M) have a friend (30/F), and we were texting each other every day pretty regularly, since about March. I got to know her better through her texts, and I started to develop feelings for her.
Well, I finally told her a few days ago, but she didn't feel the same way and said she only saw me as a friend. I needed to take a break from texting for a few days after that, and I told her that. I took my break, and sent her a few texts. She hasn't responded as quick or as often as she used to; it might be because she is very busy (she usually is), but I'm still wary that I screwed up the friendship by telling her how I felt.
Maybe I'm worrying over nothing, but it doesn't take a genius to realize doing what I did can really complicate things. What do you all think? | I told a friend that I liked her, but she didn't feel the same way. Did I just sink the friendship? |
t3_3s1rim | relationships | My friend/supervisor [44 F] of ~1 year invited me [27 F] to meet her extended family. Not sure what to do. | I am a PhD student, and "Lila" is a faculty member in my department. We have totally different specialties/interests but have worked together on one completed project and have a couple more in progress. Lila's an incredibly talented academic, to the point where I was too intimidated to talk to her for most of my program and thus didn't really know her personally at all. About a year ago, Lila unexpectedly helped me through a really horrible time in my life, we've talked a lot in the ensuing year, and I now consider her a friend--I've been to her house, met her immediate family, text her, she's met my family, etc.
We're both going to an academic conference soon. It is definitely out of my area of research (I'm presenting a one-off project from a course), so I don't know anyone else who is going. I asked Lila and her student (also a friend of mine) if I could maybe hang out with them at the conference, knowing that they might have much more important professional things to be doing. They both said sure.
Lila invited me to have dinner with her and her extended family (who live in the area) one evening, and I'm not sure how to respond. On one hand, I'm flattered to be invited and it sounds much better than sitting alone in the hotel bar. Otoh, I feel like I would be imposing/wouldn't fit in. Lila's incredibly welcoming to me, but I feel like it would be impositional to basically crash her dinner with her (beloved) relatives. | My supervisor/friend invited me to dinner with her extended family at a conference. I want to go but don't want to be an awkward imposition on her family time. |
t3_3lh2kn | tifu | TIFU by drinking stink-coffee. | This morning, I was sitting on my porch drinking coffee and watching a blind LP of Dark Souls; minding my own business, being a good person. I am called away for breakfast by my dear mother and so I leave my computer and coffee outside. After that tasty breffis', I forget about my coffee and my laptop and went to take a shower.
About half an hour later, I remembered and went back outside to the back porch. *"Mmm! Coffee! I don't mind if it's cold. That's okay! I drink cold coffee all the time!"* Well, that's great and everything, but this time, it was no ordinary cold coffee. I hoist it up and take a swig of the brown earth-potion and feel something unpleasant in my mouth. I spit out the coffee and accidentally crunched down and felt something pop in my mouth. I spit out the withered husk of several unidentifiable organisms. I poured the rest of the coffee out to see what it could be, but I already had a good idea...
The moment before I drained the last of the liquid that obscured my answers, I tasted it. The taste of what I can only describe as rotting potatoes and motor oil. When the cup was empty, lo and behold, there were three dead stink bugs in the bottom of my coffee mug. *"Why has this happened?"* I thought. And so I began to retch like a flying motherfucker stricken with hatred from God himself.
Now my mouth hurts, the taste won't go away, I'm still vomiting, and I hate my life. Fuck nature. | Made coffee, left it, came back, trusted it, drank some stank and ate some bugs, fml. |
t3_2r0k69 | relationships | My [27/F] boyfriend [41 M] was not there to kiss me at midnight | It might sound silly, but my boyfriend is a social butterfly and when we go out he tends to be all over the place and too drunk. Prior to the event, I told him, that it was important for me that at least, he would be there to kiss me at midnight because it is our first NYE together despite being together since 3 years.
When the countdown came, he was not there. I am very upset for this and told him and an hour ago I found a picture of him with his ex-girlfriend on Facebook at midnight and other friends. I want to know what to do! | Boyfriend was not there to kiss me at midnight despite a promise and was with his ex-gf. Also, he is upset at me because I am upset at him? What can I do? |
t3_52bk3r | relationships | Me [19 M] Starting my 2nd year of uni. Wondering how to meet new people? | Hey everyone i'll just get straight into it. I've been single for a good year and a half now and would really like to meet someone. So I've just started my 2nd year at uni literally today and so i'm wondering how I just get myself out there and meet people? I go out to bars and things but I find it difficult to start talking to new people. I'm also hoping to join some sports clubs this year but again I find it difficult talking to new people. I feel like this is my biggest issue that is stopping me from meeting new people. I'm usually fairly confident with anything but I always end up getting nervous when trying to meet and talk to new people. So if anyone could give me any kind of advice on how to get myself talking to people and places to meet new people I'd really appreciate it! :) | Been single for a while and just started my 2nd year of uni and would like to meet new people but i'm not 100% sure how to. |
t3_2gd46a | relationships | Me [23M] with a girl [26 F] whos studying abroad in my country, has boyfriend back home | So; yesterday I went out with this really cute girl. She is studying abroad in my country. If you ask me what I am searching in a woman, I would describe her. We had dinner first, than went to the movies and had a drink afterwards.
Now heres my problem; during dinner she mentioned she still had a boyfriend back home. So the evening just went on, and we had a really good time. After the movie we went for another drink, and we got on the topic of relationships. She told me she doesnt really beleive in LDR's, and she said 'maybe for 5 months it could be possible'. The 5 months are the time that she is here.
Now my question, if I like her; how do I get to the point from here that she starts liking me in a romantic way? What are your thoughts on these kind of situations? | Girl I really like has a boyfriend back home, now abroad in my country. Had a really good evening with her. Where to go from here? |
t3_4q3d8w | relationship_advice | [22/m] Visiting hometown, can't figure this girl out [22/f] | If this should be elsewhere or deleted, by all means.
So I'm in my hometown for a month after having moved away four years ago and my last visit two years ago.
And there is this one girl that I wanted to see at the very least while I was here. A couple years back we had some long distance thing which I ended up ending because of.. Well f*ck knows I guess I was scared? Anyway, time has passed, I've changed, we've all grown up and grown wiser.
But it seems I never really got over her, over the years realising I had a really good thing going and I f*cked it all up.
Fast forward a to this year and we've been talking again and getting along really well. She does have a boyfriend throughout these conversations, but it's never really something that comes up, nor is she someone that makes their relationship public.
I've finally arrived home, and we have about a week before she moves down to a bigger city. So we get some dinner one night, her recommendation, nothing fancy. Sit down by the beach, things are going really well, honestly having a wonderful time, laughs all around from both of us.
I do notice at one point in the night though that her phone background picture is of her and her bf, so he's obviously still on the scene, even with her moving and such. So I get that, and I'd never intentionally want to move in on some other dudes girl.
But at the end of the night she mentions that she wants to hang out again before she moves, and even wants to see me after she's moved.
Who knows, maybe I'm looking way to much into this, if so then please, set me straight. | Visiting hometown, gone out for dinner with girl, wants to see me again before she moves and even after she moves, still has a picture of her and bf on her phone. What do? |
t3_32v2g8 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my housemate [28 M] (who has mental problems). He never cleans up after himself and this is risking us getting evicted. Should I tell him off to the landlord? | So, basically, this dude is 28 years old and he suffers from anxiety, OCD and Aspergers, apparently (that's what he told me). His family kicked him out when he was in his teens and at one point his mental problems were so bad that he couldn't even dress himself, much less clean up his stuff.
Anyway, he's now living on welfare and renting a room in this student house.
The problem is that he leaves food, trash and dirty dishes everywhere. This has turned the student house into a complete mess. His room smells so bad that you have to stop breathing when you pass it in the hallway.
So, a few weeks ago, our landlord came by and chewed us both out and said we'd get evicted if we didn't make an effort to be cleaner (I didn't rat him out, I just took the blame). But, since then, this guy has made no improvements. I've been cleaning up after him every week. I'm getting really tired of this and I'm wondering whether I should tell the landlord that the blame is almost entirely on him.
On the one hand, he suffers from these problems and it must be very hard to deal with that stuff. On the other hand, I don't really like this guy and I don't even think it's because of his mental problems, he's just a bit dickish in general and I don't know if these mental problems really are preventing him from cleaning up. | Roommate with mental problems won't clean up after himself and is risking us getting evicted. Should I tell the landlord? |
t3_4jglph | relationships | I (28/M) am in love with my boyfriend (52/M), but he has to move | So, elephant in the room, there is an age gap. It's something that I've processed and accepted. I realize that he'd be an old man when I'm still relatively young, I'd have to help take care of him, etc. It's something I had to consider early on and I accepted this gladly because I think he's perfect.
When we met, it was literally like a fairly tale and we both fell in love deeply and fast. He's incredibly handsome (he looks like Marc Jacobs...seriously), extremely intelligent, kind, considerate, good at communicating, and we fit flawlessly; however, there is one problem. He has been unemployed and looking for work for months. He was a Partner at a law firm in Puerto Rico and has had trouble finding a job as a lawyer in Chicago. As a result, he may have to move to New Jersey since he has friends there that can help him.
Long story short, he's likely going to have to move to New Jersey. He could stay with me if it weren't for the fact that he has three dogs and I can't support both of us. I can't move to the New Jersey area.
That being said, how do I process the heartbreak? I don't get the sense of closure that our relationship ran its course. It's been prevented from its full potential, which both of us believe would end in marriage and profound happiness. I'm having such a hard time accepting this and it's hard for me to reconcile. I don't know how I'm going to heal afterwards. If he had a job, everything would be perfect, but jobs aren't exactly the easiest things to come by. | Love of my life has to move to New Jersey. I have to stay in Chicago. How do I cope with the heartbreak since our relationship didn't get to naturally run its course? |
t3_1l6twb | dating_advice | [18M] Asking girl in class to campus event | I met a girl first day of classes and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. I wound up walking her back to her building after class and talked the entire way, and we seem to have at least a couple similar interests.
I also had a smaller conversation later that day when I ran into her, but it was a little awkward since I didn't know anything about the subject and her friend was there.
I want to invite her to a campus event so I can have a chance to talk to her outside of class next time I see her. I'm probably going to tell her to bring a friend so I don't seem too forward, which I seem to have had a problem with in the past.
Good plan? No? | Want to invite cute girl in class to campus event, but tell her to bring a friend so it isn't too awkward. |
t3_1bxsam | dating_advice | I [M21] sort of invited a girl [F20] to go play basketball sometime, I'm a bit unsure of what the best way to set it up without coming off too much like its a date.. | Okay so I met her over a year ago, just once, we chatted a little but not much and that was it, didn't see her again till about last week, when we got a little more time to know each other at a volunteer event...
Anyways I added her on Facebook, couple days passed, she accepted and then commented on a status I had made a week ago about kevin ware's leg being the worst basketball injury I had seen.
**She commented:** "I came across it unwillingly. Makes me rethink playing ball again this spring.."
**Me:** "Yea same here, not a good thing to see before eating... You play ball!? We should play at the uni some time! Though it can be shooting only if your shins are feeling weak haha."
**Her:** "Seriously, as a vegetarian, I can't handle exposed bones like a drumstick lol Yeah! Been at it since I was 8, I'd be down! Lemme know when you're free. I'm rusty though hah"
So Yeah that was that, I haven't replied, I'm thinking I'll just pm her instead, though. She has a lot of qualities about her that I find very attractive in a potential S.O., but I'm not totally sure how I feel about this girl yet, so how should I go about setting up the basketball so that its just the two of us but still keep it casual. I want to get to know her a little more and get some more face-time before I decide whether or not I will ask her out, or if she's even the type to want to have a bf, she seems a little on the free spirited, "don't need no man" side.
Also is it not a good idea to set something up that is maybe ~3 weeks away? ...I have exams coming up and its gonna be real distracting time for me if I end up trying to pursue a relationship, I tend to overanalyse things and spend waaay too much brain energy on things like this when I shouldn't be. | How do I play basketball one on one with a girl, keep it casual but still keep her from thinking I just want to be friends? |
t3_2mk78j | relationships | I [26m] am thinking of ending my marriage with wife [27f] of 3 years. | Me and my wife have been together for 8 years, since right after high school. During that time I feel that bad decisions led us to become engaged. We were pressured for the time. I loved her yes, but want ready for that.
Fast forward and we got married when we did for all the wrong reasons. She wanted to get away from her parents control, and I felt like I owed it to her because of the time we've been together. I've always felt like I was doing this "because I owed her". Yes I love her, but it's over shadowed.
A year after the marriage things started falling apart to me. She lost interest in me physically for no reason. Then we moved for her to attend grad school. We knew getting married that she was going to go. What we did not account for was the mental cost.
She has flat out told me that she has to ignore our relationship while she's in school because that's what it takes. "Everyone else has to." But she also tells me about all the things the other married couples do, vacations, etc.
We have started counseling, and they are suggesting to just move past this, not even addressing the issues at hand. I don't think that I can. I feel like I need to do what is healthy for me, and best for her (she could focus on school), but I do love and care for her. I don't want to hurt her, but I have been lying to myself for too long.
Yes she knows exactly how I feel. She says "we can fix this" or "this is only temporary until I'm done with school". She told me last night she its considering quitting school. To put it in perspective, she's in the top 5%. School is her life.
Am I wrong in believing that the best thing may be to end it before it goes deeper?
Any insight is appreciated. | our marriage is not the priority to my wife, and I have felt like I've been in it for the wrong reasons since the beginning. |
t3_3ihaby | jobs | Boss is adding more responsibilities to my work load but he doesn't know I am quitting soon. Need advice. | Hello /r/jobs! Sorry for the long post but I need advice on my current situation.
So a little background first. I have been wanting to quit my current job as Lead SEO Analyst/Programmer for a few months due to being WAY over worked/underpaid/unappreciated and have crap benefits (boss knows I am over worked/underpaid/and unappreciated and doesn't seem to care from what I can tell) and go to another company doing just programming (better pay, better benefits, closer to home, and more) but I can't switch jobs yet because I am looking to move in a month and a half and it is easier to sign a lease when you have been at a job for more than a few months so I have waited.
My boss does not know that I am planning on quitting and he has been wanting to increase my already over stuffed work load by adding videography to my responsibilities (I have experience in videography). In the past week he has been buying video equipment, so far only a camera, and today I am ordering more equipment of what I would need to do videos. He also told me this morning that our lease for the office is up at the end of this year so he is looking at other spaces and the size of the new space depends on how well the videos are done because he would get a space with a studio. He put extra emphasis on how much is depending on me which added even more stress.
I am at the point when I am resenting my job, am wildly unhappy, but am feeling guilty because he is spending thousands on video equipment and I am planning on leaving in a little over a month. What should I do? Should I keep my plans to leave quiet and just leave him in the lurch with thousands of dollars of video equipment when the time comes? At this point I am planning on just keeping my mouth shut until the time comes. Or should I tell him and warn him about my plans to leave so he isn't wasting money? Is there another option? There is nothing that he can offer me to keep me here. It's not worth it to me. What are your thoughts? | boss is buying thousands of dollars of equipment for the added responsibilities to my already over stuffed work load and I am feeling guilty about it because I plan on quitting. |
t3_1qhwpl | weddingplanning | A rant about everyone butting in. | So it seems to me that every time someone not in my close circle of friends finds out I'm planning a wedding they have a g-d opinion and tell me I'm doing things wrong.
I have a friend who is doing my wedding planning, but I'm doing a lot of the appointments and planning on my own. A friend of mine fancies himself a photographer (he's ok, but not a professional) and took issue with the photographer I chose. I got a really great deal and I like her work. My friend keeps nitpicking. Every time he starts in I tell him I don't care about his opinion and he gets hurt. I think he wants me to use him as a photographer but he lives in Sweden and has never done any professional photography.
On top of that my sister got really upset when I told her we weren't doing toasts. The toast she was going to give alluded to my previous bad taste in men and how my sister was kind of flippant and unpleasant to my FH and it was funny how he was the one who stuck. I told her that was the main reason we weren't doing toasts (that and my FFIL will go on forever and insist on doing a toast).
My mother wants to walk me down the aisle with my Father (my parents are divorced) and got hurt when I told her no.
We're also going to ask people to put their cell phones and cameras away for the ceremony and I know that's going to cause friction with my dad, step dad and FFIL. I just don't want random cameras and cell phones in my wedding pictures.
It seems like everyone has an idea of how they want my wedding to go. I hate feeling like a b when I put my foot down but it's my wedding. I feel like everyone has an opinion and at this point I don't even want to hear it anymore.
Has anyone else had this problem? For | everyone keeps butting in and giving me their opinions, then they get hurt when I don't follow what they wanted. |
t3_ybkeu | AskReddit | Am I a bad friend? | So I used to be really good friends with this guy but after he went to college we drifted apart but then I started to get really close to his younger sister (She is 19 and her brother and I are 21). It's to the point where I am closer with her than I was with him and now she feels comfortable enough with me to tell me deep personal secrets. I am actually very happy that we got as close as we are and I confide in her as well (mainly about my failed and awkward attempts at navigating the gay dating pool) but I'm confused as to if I should be feeling guilty about keeping her secrets from her brother. Most are about stuff that shouldn't be his concern (her love life, social life, sex life, etc) and I have no business to tell him but as her big brother I know he would like to know some stuff. We also have gotten to the point where she told me she is getting a fake ID and wants to go bar hopping with me (tried talking her out of it but she is doing it regardless) and smoke pot with me. She knows I do both (I used to smoke with her brother all the time when we were closer) and I know that so does she (and a lot longer than I have too) but I don't know if I should because I was friends with her older brother first. He knows we have gotten close and fully supports our friendship but he doesnt know how close we have gotten. So basically I'm just torn about how I should be feeling. Advice? | Was close friends with this guy but now am closer friends with his younger sister and I don't know if I am breaking some friend code or some shit like that. Advice? |
t3_2h142d | relationships | [Update] Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of a year, he ignores it when I raise a problem and it's driving me nuts | Original here:
So we talked about the issue yesterday. He said he didn't talk to me before about my text because I had sent it in the middle of the night and he didn't know whether it was just something that bothered me in this moment and was not really that important or if it was a really big deal. We talked about the texting when he's at work and he promised he'd let me know when he won't be able to answer. He usually follows trough with his promises so I'm really optimistic. And God dammit, do I love this guy :-)
I think I have to learn to pick my battles better. As a lot of you pointed out, texting is really not a big issue, he didn't cheat, he isn't an alcoholic, he doesn't hit me etc. And he does love me. I just need too much of confirmation for that sometimes. So I need to learn to differ if something is really a big deal, then I can go to him and say "this is really important to me!".
Thank you all for your help! | Issue addressed, bf said he will be better, I have to make it clear that the things I address are important to me. |
t3_wdi75 | relationships | Girlfriend lying, or am i overreacting? | This is my first post on reddit, and English is not my native language. You have been warned! ;)
Me (M,20) and my GF (F19) has been together for one year and four months. Overall i'd say our relationship is very good. She's always loving and caring when we spend time together. However, something i found out last night makes me a little worried.
She's been telling me all week that she's planning to see a childhood (male) friend of hers today, i've met him before, and he's a nice guy. I have no problem with them two hanging out. However, last night. My girlfriend forgot to sign out from Facebook. And i just couldn't resist the urge to take a look at her messages. I might add that this is the first time i've done something like this. I trust my girlfriend.
Finds out that she's been planning to see another guy that day aswell, they're just talking about that they are going to see eachother for an ice cream. So there's no flirting going on or anything like that. i might add that they were classmates last year. But last night, when i asked my girlfriend about her plans for today. She doesn't mention him. At all. She's just been saying that she's meeting up with her childhood friend.
I love my girlfriend, and i know that she feels the same way about me (Atleast i hope so..) We're attending the same university this fall, and we're actually planning on sharing an apartment.
I'm getting worried because for me, trust is very important in a relationship. But i want to know what you guys think. What is the best way to talk with her about this? And most important, what should i do? | Girlfriend planning on meeting a childhood friend, let's me know. Also plans on meeting someone else, doesn't let me know. Now i'm worried. |
t3_10p3ws | relationships | Boyfriend [19] told me [20] that he doesn't think he's capable of loving again. | We've been dating officially for a month now, unofficially for 3 months before that. We've had a lot of fun together and i really like being with him.
He opened up to me today in greater detail about his history with women. The main point is that he was very much in love with this girl when he was 17, but she broke his heart. So he's set up all these walls and he told me he crushed all the love inside him, and he didn't think he could love again.
I asked him if he wanted to. He said no, he didn't think so, but later in the conversation said he did. He said I deserved to know this, and he should have told me sooner. I know we aren't very far in our relationship, and I'm not to the point of loving him yet, but I really care for him. Afterward we had a really deep conversation where we opened up to each other about different things in our lives. It felt like a big step he was telling me all this, I like to think his walls might be coming down a bit, but maybe I'm wrong.
I feel like he could get past this, but another part of me wonders if I'm just projecting what I want. I figure we're young, we can still grow, but I never wanted to be that woman who says "I can change him!"
I don't know what to do. Am I stupid for staying with him? For wondering if he will eventually be able to love me? | Boyfriend was hurt by a girl and doesn't think he can love again. Am I stupid if I stay with him in hopes that he might be able to? |
t3_2buht1 | relationships | How do I[18/M] start becoming good friends with the girl[18/F] I like? | Hey guys. After much fustration with myself, I gave up and am asking for advice. Need to get to the basic again.
So basically there is this girl I like at high school. We kinda know each other because we were in the same Chinese class last year. Now this year, I have absolutely no classes with her. The only time I get to sit down close to her is every Monday where our school calls this 'study period'. I will regularly see her there and will try to quickly grab a spot near her.
I am finding it difficult to find what to say to her. Like we kinda know each other but isn't awkward that me suddenly trying to talk to her all the time. I have the courage and confidence but what do I talk about without being awkward? All of her girlfriends are unknown to me so I can't just mix in with her during lunch. What should I do? Every week, I look forward to Monday just to get to have a chance to see her and maybe snip in a conversation or two with her. If I were to approach her(which is weird, like why is he suddenly talking to me?) what should I start with? I hope you guys understand my situation. | Ps. I have the courage and confidence, just don't know where and what to do. Can only see her once a week. No mutual friends. Have not been seeing much since last year. Etc etc. |
t3_3ryqw9 | tifu | TIFU By singing... At a party | So this happened a couple of minutes ago and now I am at home embarrassed as hell.
So today I got invited to a party by my neighbors. So of course my parents forced me to go. But before the party I was bored all day so I kept singing just to pass my day, except I was literally just screaming and acting as if I was retarded. Now I've never acted like this in front of anyone since I was "the mature kid of the block." Fast forward to five minutes ago , I ate food at the party and when I wanted to leave my parents said that I have to stay a little longer to not make them look bad( don't question how, I just will). So I pop my headphones in and blast my music. Here's the f*** up.
I decided that not only am I the best singer in the world but also that I am at my home and not a party, so I can start screaming and singing like a complete retard. Everyone stares at me for a good minute after I stop the madness. I gladly put on my boots and walk out and run to home and cry out of embarrassment. | decided I was the best singer. Go to a party and think it's ok to sing like icejjfish. Walk out as if I have issues. Looks like I am not the mature kid anymore |
t3_2bir9l | jobs | Need help finding a job, particularly in the CA area. | Greetings, all!
I recently graduated from college (last August) with a degree in Japanese Language and Literature. Prior to that, I had already gotten a JLPT (the Japanese Language Proficiency Test) N2 certificate (the second highest level) and had begun a "career" as a freelance translator. While I've managed to get a lot of geek cred on my resume (Phantasy Star Online 2, Saint Seiya, Ultraman, and even Gundam), freelance translation barely pays anything. I make around $10k a year, and it's not stable. I'm on food stamps and other welfare.
I also have IT experience, having worked six months with a company that was contracted out to Chrysler to help fix problems with both their network and the computer software they used to work on the internal parts of their cars. I did this in both Japanese and English, with customers around the world. So I suppose this would also count as customer service experience.
I recently had an opportunity to interview with a video game company in California (NIS America). I actually did rather well in the interview, or so the interviewer told me. I was, however, not selected as they went with someone "more entry-level" (which I read as "someone we could get away with paying the least amount of money as possible").
So now I'm basically just looking for jobs that would get me closer to the CA area where most of the big game companies are. I'm also looking for jobs in Japan teaching English (as Japan would also have a bunch of opportunities to find translation jobs). I don't particularly care what I'd be doing in the job, so long as I made enough money to pay my bills. I would also need help finding an apartment, as I don't have any friends or family in the area (do note that I said "finding" and not "paying for", I have money set aside to move). A company car wouldn't hurt (I live in MI and I don't plan on driving my car all the way there), but isn't necessary as I hear that CA's public transport is generally much better than in the rest of the country, and I don't mind huffing it or riding a bike. | Recent graduate, bilingual in Japanese/English with IT, customer service, music and translation/interpreting skills looking for a job in the CA area. Please assist. |
t3_1qt1lc | relationship_advice | I[17m] am in a bit of a weird situation. | I broke up with my ex [16f]. Now, I broke up with her because the past two relationships I had been cheated on so I didn't want to get attached and I didn't realize it and like an idiot decided jumping into dating would be a good thing. Well when I was with her I sometimes just didn't talk to her for days at a time, and finally I broke up with her telling her because we didn't talk and hang out that it was unfair of me to her to keep her with me. Now a few months later I'm starting to have strong feelings for her even more-so than before and I want to try again, but now she has a bf and I think it would be a giant cunty move to go in and tell her I have strong feelings for her and wish to try again for a relationship now that she is actually in another. So, I'm asking, should I suck it up and live with my decision or should I talk to her and see if she wants to try again? Sorry in advance if this isn't the right place and/or seems petty. | Got cheated on, got with my now ex, broke up with her, she got a bf, and now I want to get her back but don't want to be a cunt. |
t3_3lvszt | relationships | Me [28 F] with my girlfriend [31 F] she's getting married this weekend. I might have walking pneumonia. Nervous about hurting feelings | EDIT: girlfriend = friend. Not actual love interest.
I got invited to a friend's wedding. I wouldn't say she's one of my very best friends, but she and I used to work together and became close. I felt flattered to get invited to her wedding. It's a 3-hour plane ride one way and I'm going alone.
I work a very stressful job (with lots of travel) and finally got my ass kicked with travel. I've been down with the flu the last few days with little improvement of getting better. Going to the doctor tomorrow.
I'm extremely nervous that if I travel this weekend, I'm putting myself at risk for getting even more sick. But I know if I miss her wedding, she will never be friends with me again. Regardless of the reason. She hosted a party at her place this past weekend and I texted her apologizing and saying that I was in bed with the flu, and she didn't even respond (she has the read receipts on her iPhone, so I know she read it).
Now I feel stuck. I'm beyond stressed at my job and already know it's a bad idea to push myself and go (and risk my health) but I don't want to lose her as a friend. What do I do? | Sick before a wedding. Friend will disown me if I don't go, but I don't want to put myself at risk to get even more sick. |
t3_q0clj | dogs | Does anyone else have/had a dog on Prednisone, and experienced these side effects? | I have a 7year old dog that was put on 40mg of Prednisone a day because of an auto immune disease. She was okay for the first week/week and a half of taking it, but recently has lost her appetite, lost muscle mass, is acting fatigued and sleeping a lot, panting heavily, and lost luster in her coat.
Now, I know to take her to the vet and I will (she has a scheduled appointment on Thursday) but I am really curious if it may be the Prednisone or something else. I talked to the vet on 2/18(Saturday) and they said to keep her on the medication, but I'm afraid that the dosage is too high and is causing adverse effects.
So has anyone had these problems before? Was it the medication? | After starting Prednisone, my dog is not eating, fatigued, and has lost at least 6lbs. Are these just side effects, or should I be really worried? |
t3_25erm5 | relationship_advice | [18/m]Ive got a real doozie for you guys and I don't know whether to trust her (18/m) | So I started dating my (18/f sorry I fucked up the title) girlfriend 4 months ago and found out soon afterward that she had a fiancé. Now I really do love this girl more than anything and she told me that she was going to break it off with him because he was abusive and so I decided to believe her and give her the time to end it. That was 3 1/2 months ago. Recently she said she ended it but had to hand on to the phone he gave her and keep talking to him until she got her own things back. I don't know how to take the fact that she says it's over but she still talks to him and seems ashamed to do anything with me (I haven't even met her parents and she lies about being with me to her parents). She even still wears her engagement ring even with me. It really bothers me. We have a regular sex life and all but I don't even know if she's into it and we never even really go on dates or stuff. What should i do? | My girlfriend has a fiancé but said she's end it but hasn't yet and even wears the ring when with me. What to do? |
t3_bfd5s | books | A question for those who read Spanish and Latin American literature in Spanish: | Decades ago, I studied Spanish, and eventually reached the point of being able to read just about anything in Spanish (including El Cid). I took my last Spanish class in 1977. Up to that point, I read a lot of works by García Lorca, Miguel de Unamuno, Lope de Vega, Tirso de Molina, and various other Spanish writers; also Latin American writers such as García Marquez, Ruben Darío, Octovio Paz, Mariano Azuela, and Borges.
After 1977, despite my best intentions, I let my Spanish lapse. I forgot almost everything I'd learned in the past. A few years ago I started studying the language on my own again, and I'm just starting to read in Spanish again. My problem is two-fold: (1) I'm having trouble reading the authors I used to read with ease; and (2) there are a host of wonderful authors who hadn't published yet when I stopped studying Spanish in 1977. These include Isabel Allende, Paco Ignacio Taibo II, Roberto Bolaño, and Carlos Ruiz Zafón.
Anyway, I'd like advice from those who read in Spanish. At this point, at best, I can read at the intermediate level (and even that is a challenge). Among the more recent Spanish and Latin American authors, who would you consider the easiest to read? (In terms of U.S. literature, think of Hemingway vs. Faulkner (or David Foster Wallace). | Among the Spanish and Latin American writers of the last 30+ years, whose works are the easiest to read for a person who reads Spanish at the advanced beginner/intermediate level? |
t3_1ez262 | AskReddit | Does thinking Islam is bad automatically means I'm racist? | To me, Islam just doesn't seem like a good thing. Apparently the scientific output of muslim countries is [really low] not to mention the poor treatment of women, non-religious people and homosexuals. Few if any muslim countries have a decent development rating. I shudder to think of Somalia where you can get killed for listening to music. I was also quite sad when the Arab Spring was quickly hijacked by fundamentalists. There is also the uncomfortable fact that muslim communities in democratic countries don't integrate well. I've experienced this phenomenon with my own eyes. In my town if you wander into the predominantly muslim neighborhoods, you can get spit on and insulted frequently. One man even called me a "white whore" in front of his young children because my skirt was a bit too short to his taste.
The problem is that if you voice those opinions in public, you get called racist. But what bothers me is that Islam is just a set of ideas, not a race. I don't see why those opinions are so controversial. After all, western countries keep saying that they're all about human rights and freedom of religion, so doesn't it make sense to discriminate against forces that are against these concepts, especially those that teach that apostasy is worthy of death? | I don't understand why it's considered racist or irrational to criticize Islam when it's just a set of ideas and not a race. |
t3_2bwfd6 | relationships | My coworkers [21M] girlfriend [20F] called me [21F] to establish boundaries. | Hey r/relationships!
So I'm really good friends with a male coworker and just as friends do we hang out outside of work. Just a little background, this coworker and I have never dated. Recently he's been dating this new girl and for some reason she feels I'm a threat.
Yesterday I get a voicemail from my coworker and his girlfriend. It was pretty harmless as all of us coworkers had been texting him and he called to say hi and asked me to call him back. After I listened to the voicemail I received a text message from my coworker basically saying this new girlfriend of his is getting jealous and she's heard a lot about me. She wanted to make sure that I knew that they were serious, that we don't flirt or hang out one-on-one and that I respect their relationship. At first I laughed it off as her being crazy pants and I was going to hang out with my coworker if I wanted.
Then the girlfriend called me off of his phone and left a voicemail. She first complemented my hair, which, golly what a nice person, and then proceeded to reiterate what the text message had said. She said that she was insecure and jealous and that they are super serious he just hasn't found the opportune moment to make it official. MEANWHILE my coworker is sitting next to her while shes recording this voicemail. After marking her territory, she then concluded the message asking my coworker "How much do you like me?, Are you my baby?, Who do you adore? Now say it louder."
I have no idea how to bring this up to my coworker, he's been avoiding me since it's happened. I'm trying not to be a bitch, and say What the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass girlfriend? | Crazy girlfriend of a coworker I've never dated is calling me and asking me not to hang out with him. |
t3_23n85z | relationships | How do I [M, 16] stop absolutely despising my ex? [F, 16] | First off, I feel like a toddler posting in this subreddit, and I apologize for being so inappropriately aged, this was just the perfect place to get some advice.
Alright, so basically, this girl and I dated for almost exactly six months during the end of our freshman year, through the summer, and at the beginning of sophomore year, I ended it once I was persuaded by my wonderful friends for about two months. I was pretty much too blinded by her attractiveness to see how awful she was to me. Not the worst thing she's ever done to me, but easily my favorite example of how I was never good enough for her was when she wanted me to sing her to sleep, so I called her up, and sang Crazy by Gnarles Barkley. Once I finished she studdered for a bit and then said "you could've picked a better song."
Needless to say I had enough of being an apparently terrible boyfriend, which she reminded me of being almost daily, and broke up with her by my bus loop in what I consider a very mature way. She reacted by claiming she was the best I was ever going to get and she told people she was the one who ended things. To give her credit, she did talk to me afterwards and apologize for acting badly towards me, but she still takes any opportunity she's can when she's in a group with me to talk about how great this new guy is and how she adores him so much, but she still treats him just like she treated me. We broke up about five months ago and I've already been dating new girl for a while now that I've really connected with and that I adore more than anything, but every time my ex's name comes up, I can't help but imagine me ripping her throat out. How do I fix this? | My ex treated me like garbage throughout our relationship, we've both moved on, but I still absolutely hate her guts and want to not do that anymore. |
t3_3362q7 | personalfinance | I haven't been at my current job very long. How do I answer an interview question without seeming flakey or ranting about how bad office politics are? | I have been sending out resumes lately because of drama and office politics at my current job. I've gotten an interview and have an inkling they're going to ask me why I haven't been at my current job for very long (8 months.) I want to assure them I don't job hop as soon as things start getting testy, but I think it's not the best idea to tell them that my current boss is an idiot.
Some background on my current job:
My boss has no experience. This is his first job and he kissed ass enough through several promotions, but he doesn't know anything about management. He frequently gossips about us to other people in the department. He regularly sets the department up to fail trying to impress the higher-ups (coming at us with impossible demands, last minute projects that he's known about for months, etc.) Despite the fact that every single employee knows he's incompetent and dozens of complaints have been directed towards him, the owner likes him, so no change there.
There are almost no raises. No one who has ever gone in to talk about getting a raise has gotten one before the official raise time at the end of the fiscal year. Apparently there's a 3% raise once a year...and that's about it.
I don't feel like they really look out for the employees here. The higher-ups keep getting raises and promotions, and everyone else is supposed to just sit quietly and drink crappy coffee.
This kind of turned into a rant, so I really appreciate those who read through it. And thanks in advance for your help. | I haven't been at my current company for very long. How do I navigate that question in an interview when/if I'm asked? |
t3_1j4ryc | relationships | I [19/M] was dumped by my gf [19/F] while i was overseas, i'm back now, can it be resolved? | **back story:** Me and my gf were happy for about 4 months of our relationship, then i became controlling and felt she didnt love me anymore and that we saw eachother too much.
She broke up with me via text while i was overseas because we were continuing to argue a lot.
I returned last weekend and saw her two nights ago for the first time.
We explained what we were unhappy with, she told me she felt forced to be in the relationship, that i was distrusting and that i loved her more than she loved me.
All of this stemmed from the fact that I've been a controlling bastard the last couple of months, and i told her i'm willing to change.
We both admitted we still love eachother and we BOTH want to be able to try this relationship again in the future (1-2 months, her suggestion).
We then had sex and decided to be FWB for the time being.
She works full time and doesn't go out much, meaning there's very rare chance of her meeting another guy.
Will she give me the chance to prove myself again?
Is FWB a good idea? (Because it's all that's going to be holding us together)
Today i realised she deleted all photos of us from her instagram, is this a bad sign? | Gf and i broke up because of me being a cunt. I realised and we want to make it work in the near future, is this possible? |
t3_ha6x3 | AskReddit | Has anyone set up their own company? Can you relate any of your experiences in doing so? | I'm trying to avoid legal/accounting advice specifically, if/when it comes to that I'll find a lawyer or accountant.
I'm wondering if any redditors out there have started their own company, how the process it went, what skills need to be learned, challenges faced, etc. I have a job offer as a engineering consultant, and for various reasons I'm looking into forming an LLC (limited liability company). The big reason is to protect my personal assets from legal action. This will be my first job out of college, so I'm trying to make sure everything runs smoothly.
Other reasons I'm considering it are for tax benefits, potential deductions since I'll be consulting out of state so I have to find temporary housing, etc. I have looked into what it takes to file an LLC, and most of it is pretty straight forward. However, things like finding a statutory agent, filing taxes as a company or as an individual, general accounting, etc. I'm currently at a loss with. Should I push forward, abandon the idea, retain a lawyer, are there success stories, failures, etc. out there? I'd like to hear anyone's experiences with this sort of thing.
(I am continuing to do research, but other people's POV can be beneficial) | Looking into setting up an LLC due to my first engineering job, want some insight into the process as I'm getting a bit overwhelmed. |
t3_250a9n | relationships | Me [17F] with my Girlfriend [18F] of 3 years, Things are changing and I NEED help. | I posted recently, so I'm sorry for that, but I've solved some things and...damn.
I have depression, and anxiety. These affect my life, and have infected my relationship.
Before I was depressed, it seemed perfectly healthy, if not settling awkwardly into the "Companionship" phase, rather than the passionate romance love. I was perfectly fine before this, but now after depression and anxiety hit I'm seeing all these flaws I didn't see before.
How do I make the transition into Companionship love? I know there are different forms of love, but it's...weird. I've never had a relationship last this long and into this phase. I don't really know how to process it. Is this a normal thing, and how do you guys handle/how did you handle it?
I want to stay with my girlfriend. My anxiety and depression make me feel like I'm going to lose her (to some unforeseen force). It's like waking up every day and having this overwhelming feeling of impending doom...you know it's ridiculous, but the fear is there and I can't shake it.
I know I'm young. But I desperately want to make this work. I love her unlike I've loved anyone else, and I want to know how to make things work after the initial "lovey dovey romance" phase has died down. How can I keep things interesting?
Everyone I talk to just says "Oh this relationship will probably end, you're still young yet!"
I know I'm young. That doesn't mean I don't want to be with this girl. Do you think I can make it work, despite my depression and anxiety and pretty much everyone else telling me otherwise?
please and thank you! | I'm feeling shitty, scared, insecure, and depressed. I want to settle into companionship love with my girlfriend, but don't know how. Help. |
t3_18rnd2 | relationships | How do I[20m] tell a girl[19] that we can't be friends right now? | Hi!
For the past 2 years I've been socializing with a girl from another town, we met a few times, hung out in a group, I think she was into me last year, but with lack of female interaction and barely any social skills it is/was hard to tell. But after reading old conversations I got the impression that she was, but anyway.. I think she isn't anymore, I'm okay with that.
So the problem is that I'm kind of overly-attached to her I guess, I answer directly when she writes and I often check my skype, facebook and text just to see if she contacted me. I don't want to be like that, I want to see her as a friend but I look at her as a potential girlfriend, I know I can't be in a relationship because of my personal issues, so I need to take a break to forget her and figure/solve my problems. But I don't want to hurt her feelings.. if that makes sense? | Socialized with girl, got overly-attached, got personal issues, can't be in a relationship, don't want to hurt her feelings, how to I tell her that? Without sounding like a freak? |
t3_juqjh | dogs | Dog aggression questions | Hi Reddit,
My wife and I just (today) rescued a 10-month old lab/beagle mix who is showing unusual behavior we were hoping we could get some insight on.
We previously had a lab who passed away about a month ago who had aggression issues with other dogs (kill or be killed mentality) and we fear somehow re-creating those habits with this dog.
About the rescue: The humane society said they found her with a jug over her head (as though they caught her in the middle of fetching something out of it or someone put it on her head). She's very timid around males, so we know there was some abuse. Whenever I raise my hand, she cowers. The trainer there told us that she's very submissive to other dogs, and we saw this for ourselves tonight, but then she did something that surprised us.
We brought her over to a friend's house who has a beagle. When they met in the front yard (both loose-leashed) our dog rolled over on her belly to submit to the beagle. We then went inside and they got along, sniffing each other, licking etc. Our friend then brought out treats to reward them, and the friend's dog ate his and approached our dog (not to steal her treat but to play). Our dog snapped at him, so we corrected her. She didn't seem interested in the treat so we took it away so it was no longer an issue.
From that point on, she was not friendly with our friend's beagle. Snapping at him once, showing teeth when he got close in another situation. She stayed away from him for the rest of the night, as did he (our friend's dog) since he was scared.
So my questions: By our taking the treat away, did our dog think the beagle took it and then she had it out for him? Has anyone seen this behavior before? How would you go about correcting this? | Our rescue today snapped at a friend's dog after initially being submissive and playful. Was aggressive the rest of the night (two hours) after our friend's dog got near her treat. |
t3_2u7iyv | relationships | My (24m) girlfriend (22f) doesn't touch me during sex. | Like the title says my girlfriend doesn't really touch me during sex and I'm starting to get bothered by this. I've talked with her before about foreplay and oral sex and she said she does not like giving or receiving oral sex which I on the other hand told her I DO like it. I understand that it's not something everyone enjoys so I didn't press the issue any further.
However every time her and I start to get intimate she pretty much immediately wants PIV sex. Occasionally she'll ask me to rub her down with lotion and massage her which is fine by me because I love touching her body but then she's just like "I want you inside me now! ". Don't get me wrong, the actual sex is amazing but it's starting to make me feel a little bad that she never seems to want to touch me aside from kissing me during sex. It would be awesome if she just grabbed my dick and gave me a hand job or something or gave me a sensual massage. Just anything really.
I understand I need to talk to her about it but I want to address the situation the right way so that she won't feel insecure or anything in the bedroom. Any advice on how to approach this with her? Thanks in advance. | girlfriend doesn't put any effort into touching me before/during sex and it's starting to bother me. Want to know how to address this to her. |
t3_2mqaf3 | dating_advice | Have trouble opening up to women. | I am 23 years and consider myself to be a fairly attractive person. I have no trouble hooking up with women and I have had my fair share of sexual experiences. The thing is I have never had a girlfriend in my life. It is hard. Whenever I like a girl it is really hard for me to open up. In person I can be charming and lead a woman to be with me, but the most I have ever had is meaningless one night stands with a few booty calls. 4 years ago I was overweight and having the worst depression of my life. I literally would spend days closed in my apartment without seeing anybody. This was in college and thank god one of my high school friends had to stop by where I was living and found me in that state. He helped get up on my feet. I moved closer to him and starting hanging around his friends and felt included for what seemed a really long time. This was 2 years ago. Now I am in the best shape of my life and feel more confident than ever. I can speak to women just fine but when they start getting close to me I push them out unconsciously. Its like I put a barrier so that no one will ever find out of the crippling depression I had. I have missed the chance of being with extremely great and attractive women because I am afraid of opening up. I can talk about my childhood my high school years and even my future plans but when someone asks me about my first three years in college I close myself off. This year I started working in a job I love and pays extremely well for someone my age. Maybe this isn't the right subbreddit to be asking this but this weekend I really hit it off with a girl and I really don't want to lose her. I think dating is my next step in my improvement but I am stuck. | Had a crippling depression 4 years ago and it makes it really hard for me to open up with women and start a serious relationship even though I know she is attracted to me. |
t3_3g8yav | Parenting | How much solitary or at home time is healthy/unhealthy? | I'm a SM looking for insight- but will likely repost this to /r/stepparents.
My SD is 12, introverted, and addicted to video games. My DH is the same way. We have her 5 out of 7 days a week, sometimes more- but rarely less.
With it being summer and both of us working, she has a lot of time to herself. But it's August and I haven't seen her go play with friends or leave the house without coaxing or force (not giving her an option) yet. I know she doesn't do anything at her BM house either. She will play 5-9 hours a day online when home during the week. I think there really aren't a lot of times she is out in public- especially doing something that should be fun. I personally think this could or would hinder development. Am I wrong?
I'm the odd man out in our house- as I'm more extroverted and have more interest in the world around me vs video games and sitting inside doing whatever. I understand there is a fundamental difference in personalities, but it feels like there is little to no room for compromise many times. I think we all three-or just a daddy daughter date-outside the house is important. She is so accustomed to being squirreled away that there is virtually no interest in anything outside an immediate comfort zone. She never asks to go play with friends. She never asks to do anything that she shows true motivation for. I've tried getting a bit more involved, making suggestions, doing the research and making the calls to get her into more individual or group activities she says she likes...nothing really comes of it.
Toward the end of last school year her grades began to suffer, she was losing sleep, her attitude was more negative. My suggestions to use computer access as a bargaining tool were all but thrown out the window.
What's normal for an introverted family? What's actually healthy? I need some perspective or a way to let it go- but goddamn- the laziness is killing me! | SD and DH show little to no motivation to leave the neighborhood/house. Laziness and video game use is making my skin crawl. Tired of being the "bad guy".*** |
t3_2dalbn | relationships | [M21] If someone you recently started seeing (7+ dates, haven't had the talk) did something to make you uncomfortable, would you cut and run or give them a second chance? | I didn't realize this weekend, but I accidentally tried to "invite myself" to the birthday party for the friend of a girl I've been seeing (F20, let's call her N). Another friend of mine was going to be there sorta celebrating her birthday too and she asked me to come. N said she'd feel better if I wasn't there because she'd be drinking and has some anxiety issues but because of it was for my other friend, I said I'd probably be out.
I told the friend and N that I'd be there in a bit but on the way over I wasn't feeling good about the whole thing so I sent word that I wouldn't be coming. N and I had plans on Sunday (where I was hoping to have the talk) but she cancelled and said the whole thing made her uncomfortable and that she was re-thinking things and talk in a couple days over coffee...
I really, really like this girl more than I have any other person I've started seeing recently and I'm hoping we can mend things up and get to a point where we can have The Talk but I'm kinda scared I blew it... I'm planning on apologizing giving her a bottle of her favorite beer nicely wrapped, explaining I didn't realize what I did, and asking if she'll give me a second chance and let me cook an "I'm sorry" supper. | Made a girl I've recently started seeing (7-8 dates) uncomfortable by trying to go out when she said she wanted a night with friends.. Have I totally blown it? |
t3_1o8uxy | relationships | I [28/f] am struggling with my [26/m] boyfriend who is disabled... | I've been seeing this guy now for about 6 months, we met online and hit it off immediately, then I found out he just lived 30 minutes south of me. We started off as friends, then began dating about 6 months ago.
About a year ago he was working in a warehouse when his left leg and right foot were crushed by a forklift. He had to have complete reconstructive surgery of his leg and foot. Since then he's been disabled but unable to get disability (I'm not 100% sure why), his parents let him move back home but really don't give him much and his depression keeps him from trying for much.
Two weeks after our first date I started having seizures related to hormone changes in my body. So we are both going through lots of shit with our lives I'm barely scraping by and I can't afford much to get down and see him. If we go out I have to drive (yes I know, seizures, not supposed to drive) to see him, he can't drive due to his injuries. Then take him to spend time together and take him home. He doesn't really have a lot of money (which I don't either) but he also doesn't have his own phone so even though we live 30 minutes from each other, most of our communication is still online or on skype.
I really like the guy, he's funny, sweet, and we have a lot in common. But I'm finding it harder and harder to cope with us both having so much going on with our health. To further complicate the situation I am a transgender female so relationships and dating is already hard enough, and to find a guy like him who also accepts me for who I am is difficult.
I really don't know what to do, I feel awful for breaking up with him and I really don't want to but I feel like we still barely know each other and that due to our issues we can't spend more time together. | I'm a transgender female with recent diagnosis of epilepsy dating a sweet guy who is also disabled and not sure how to proceed with a semi-ldr. |
t3_1gwck0 | relationships | I [18 F] has a clingy acquaintance/friend(?) [18M] who I've known for two months, and wants to marry me | Okay.
It's a little weird. I know that teenage relationships don't matter. We're graduating in a few days. I am not, and was not looking for a relationship.
Aforementioned acquaintance asked me to prom, no big deal. I met him a month earlier at the time of asking, I said "yes," as friends. I told HIM it was as friends, I told people who asked it was as friends.
We usually chat through text about once a day (since the time of asking). Very casual/not flirty things about homework and clubs. Nothing serious, we're teenagers.
He would occasionally try to send a flirty text, which I would usually knock down with "just friends."
NOW. Prom is on Thursday. I'm going with this guy. We're both leaving for universities in different cities. I barely know him, and he's texting me about how he wants to continue a "relationship"...
He's telling me he loves me and is discussing our future. I guess I was hoping to subdue his flirtations until prom with "just friends," but now this seems like a problem that won't just disappear.
I'm hoping he's saying these things because he's trying to mess with me, and afraid I've unknowingly led someone on.
Do I wait until prom? What do I even do?
Please, anything you can say. Anything. An insult. A question, just anything, would be helpful. | Guy I barely know wants to plan a future together. I agreed to being his prom date before he got crazy. We're too young, and don't know each other. |
t3_2k1l1i | tifu | TIFU by licking the inside of my donuts. | So i work in landscaping and everyday me and my partner hit up 711 for a quick breakfast. Anyway I got my two donuts for 99 cents and a small coffee like usual and walked back to the truck. This is when i kind of loss myself cause it is 6AM and i just woke up, so I am waiting for my partner to come out of the 711 with his stuff when i start to lick the glaze off my donut. I totally zone out to which this overweight women driving a honda i guess is looking right at me. As I still am lost in my own head she walks over to our truck and hits the donut out of my hand, then calls me a pig. This is when I come back to life, I ask her what i did then ask if she'll replace my donut for knocking them on the ground. She looks at me with this disgusted face, then yelled at me about how i cant just pretend like I'm licking her "goodies" (Her words). Then she slapped me and walked back to her car. I was very thrown off by what just happened. My partner walked out and saw everything that happened and questioned me to which i had no answers.
At the end of the day our boss usually meets up with us to help put away some stuff. He came up to me and said a lady called calming I "sexually assaulted" her me and my partner exampled everything that we have no idea what the hell happened. I still ended up getting a good talking too, but i feel if my partner didn't see it i would have been fired. | got some donuts at 6AM zoned out while licking them overweight women thought it was meant towards her, got slapped then she called the number on the truck to try and get me fired. :( |
t3_1vv63z | relationships | I [26F] need advice on confronting my messy boyfriend's [27M] cleaning habits at my place! | I [26F] have been dating my boyfriend [27M] for about a year. He's a great guy--smart, thoughtful, funny, laid back, kind, has the same goals in life as I do, etc. We have a pretty good relationship. We've had a few arguments, but we usually resolve them quickly and both aim to improve in the future by being more considerate to each other. He is someone I can definitely see having a future with.
However, there is one thing about him that drives me crazy...whenever he comes over to my apartment, I am constantly anxious about the mess he leaves around! He tracks in mud, then puts his muddy shoes on the couch, leaves food out, leaves pee around the toilet seat, generally just doesn't clean up after himself well. We actually have had an argument about doing dishes, which ended with both of us apologizing about arguing over something so stupid, and now he does help out with that (but just doesn't clean them very well...).
In general, I am a pretty clean and tidy person, but by no means OCD. I just like to clean up after myself so I don't have to worry about it later and can relax, which he doesn't seem to worry about.
This is by no means a "deal breaker" for us, I just want some advice on how to approach him and ask him to be more mindful about messes, without coming off as A. His mother or B. Rude and controlling.
Thanks! | [27M] is really messy at my place, how do I [26F] ask him to clean up after himself? |
t3_4qmzwc | askwomenadvice | How can I (M,26) make my wife (F,25) feel loved and start building self-confidence in herself? | So my wife thinks I'm cheating on her because she calls herself fat (I don't think so....She's not a twig but she isn't "fat" either..Just overweight) and unattractive and all that.
I will admit first and foremost, I know I haven't done good with what I'm about to say but since we have been married (almost 2.5 years) we have had sex so few times we can count it on 2 hands, maybe even 1). We do have a 15 month old and he has always slept with us so he's pretty much in the middle of the bed with me and her on other side obviously.
She thinks because of the lack of sex that I am cheating on her because I don't want her 'fat self' or anything. That's not the case....I'm usually just really tired around 10 pm-ish and my son has worn me out (and normally her too) so I don't know where this magical energy to have sex is supposed to come from but normally I just want to pass out.
Me personally, I would PREFER to do the deed in the mornings or like earlier in the afternoon, not 10pm and such. Sometimes, yeah I won't mind if I'm not exhausted, but by the time she wants to do something at that time, I'm barely holding my eyes open.
Also, I'm not very good at saying what I'm thinking...Like when I see her dress up or just look nice in something at any time, I THINK it in my head, but I never say anything and use the fancy adjectives...How could I maybe work myself up to start doing that kind of stuff without seeming like I'm trying to cover something up like 1 day just saying 'Oh wow honey you look so amazingly beatiful and sexy mmhmm'. | We have not had a lot of sex and my wife thinks I don't love her and I'm cheating on her mostly because of that and I guess lack of compliments and such. |
t3_2wgoua | relationships | My [F22] apartment-mate [F21] keeps stealing toilet paper? | I live in a university apartment with three other girls. We all share one bathroom. I spend most of my time off campus, so there's basically just three people living there at one time.
The university supplies us with lots of free toilet paper on a weekly basis. There should be 10-12 rolls of toilet paper in the apartment at one time. However, we've noticed that about half of the rolls are gone by the end of the week. There have been a couple times when the rolls have run out completely and we have to call maintenance to replenish them.
We are convinced that our apartment mate, Alison, has been stealing the toilet paper because she has exhibited other weird behaviors throughout the year. She also gives vague, dodgy answers when we ask her about the toilet paper situation.
She does not handle confrontation well and has actually yelled at us in the past, so it's impossible to have a reasonable conversation with her. Furthermore, our school gets out in April, so it's not really practical to make her move out (though we wish we could).
Does anyone have insight as to why she might be doing this and how we can keep our toilet paper in stock?? | My apartment mate steals and hoards so much toilet paper that there's not enough left for the rest of the apartment. |
t3_2ugo3p | tifu | TIFU by spending almost €4K on our holiday. | Hi, so this didn't happen today but a few days ago. Just to give you a little background. I'm a UK permanent resident, my mum and brother are coming over to visit me. We planned a Europe holiday which means we all need a Schengen Visa. This meant I had to book flights for the three countries we were going to as well as accommodations which all amounted to almost €4K as proof that we're all returning to the UK and that we've arranged where we'll stay. I applied here in the UK and was granted one. My mum and brother applied back home before coming over to visit me here because according to Schengen rule/law, one should apply in their country of residence. Unfortunately, they were denied visas. I had to cancel all bookings and get very little refund (as little as €10 on each ticket when I spent about €600 on our first destination) on my money because of all the terms and conditions things when I booked them. I still don't understand why they were not given Schengen visas when they were given UK visas three times to visit me. They also submitted to the embassy their return flights back home after visiting me. They provided proof that they are both working and have sufficient funds. I'm absolutely gutted about this. It felt like I literally flushed money down the toilet :( | Spent almost €4K for an EU holiday but mum and brother were both denied Schengen Visas so I had to cancel all flights and accommodations. Literally threw money away!!! |
t3_4fa0ev | personalfinance | First time filing my taxes on my own. What I owe just jumped up like 2,500% | I am 22 living in Florida and this year I moved out of my parent's for the first time but they convinced me to leave my legal address listed as theirs so that I could continue to use their health insurance. I knew this wasn't allowed but saw no reason I'd be hurt for it and, as the timing for me moving out was rather sudden and things were extremely tough for me, they were kind of insistent on keeping me under their wing. Because of this, I knew my taxes would end up with me owing money ($22 at the time, according to TaxAct) because my mom, who always did our taxes, taught me to always claim 2 exemptions on my paychecks because it was basically the government borrowing money from me or something. Well now I'm finally trying to file (down to the wire, of course, because I didn't have the money to pay even the measly $22 until now) and TaxAct corrects me, telling me someone claimed me as a dependent on their taxes (my parents, obviously). So when I click to say yes, someone has claimed me as a dependent, my owed amount skyrockets to nearly $500. I.. can't even come close to paying this. I'm in trouble because I didn't know what I was doing and just followed what my parents said which apparently wasn't right.
So I guess my question is, does this sound right having the amount jump that much? If I file an extension it says there's interest, how much and how long do I have to pay it? I'm afraid to click anything else for fear of messing anything up any further. I mean, how can this get any worse, right? | After I moved out, my parents had me lie about my address for health insurance and now that they've claimed me on their taxes I owe $500 that I can't even come close to affording. |
t3_2n2yrr | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 6 months... I'm sitting here terrified that he's going to end it. | Last night we went out with his friends and I drank too much wine. I got the dizzy spins and had to go home. He got an Uber and came with me to my house and put me in bed. Then he left. He promised me he would come back here after hanging out with his friends more, but obviously didn't.
There was a girl at the bar that we were at that he was talking to and I admittedly got a little jealous. He seemed to be full on flirting and chatting her up, and I left the bar and went outside for while. Once I came back in he told me they went to college together and he was just catching up with her. He then introduced me to her, not as his girlfriend, but just "this is bizsib" in an attempted to make me not be upset.
I'm not sure what to think or do. It's early in the morning and I'm just laying in bed awake freaking out that he's not here and that something happened when he went back to the bar where that chick was.
Don't know what I'm asking here. Just hoping someone can tell me I'm being crazy. | Got drunk; bf didn't come home. Scared he's with another chick or mad and going to dump me. |
t3_248igr | relationships | Me [26 M] with my one night stand [27 F] Can't tell if she wants to hang out again | So I met this girl on OK Cupid. I wasn't really expecting too much after another date where we just did not click.
We go to a couple of bars and then I invite her back to my place to smoke a joint and hang out. We get along great, she's funny and smart and I think we're having a good time. She says she's getting tired and should head home and I offer up my bed to her and I'll sleep on the couch. One thing leads to another and we end up sleeping together. She leaves in the morning and we text a little bit throughout the weekend and I say I'd love to see her again soon. So we make plans for Monday.
Today rolls around and at around 5 or 6 she says her family (who do live close by) are actually coming to visit so she has to cancel. I ask for a rain check and she says how about Friday. I say that sounds great.
Now I'm wondering if I've been texting her too much and coming on too strong. I don't really care which way this goes. If it was a one night stand or she just wants a real casual situation that's cool, but it's confusing for me and I can't stop thinking about the disappointment that may happen if she bails on Friday too. I don't want to freak her out by asking her what the situation is, but it's really frustrating. | Can't tell if the date I went on Friday night was a one night stand or if she wants to see me again. |
t3_1xow7p | relationships | My friend [17 F] just told me she has been physically abused by her parents. Should I report? | This happened less than a week ago. I've known this friend for a little over a year now and she is just an angel. From time to time,however, she complains about the difficulties in her family (stereotypical-traditional Asians. Very strict; stresses grades). Just recently, she showed me her bruises and from there on out, I just don't know what to do. She said that her parents hit and kick her many times in the past.
The first answer may be "YES! OF COURSE YOU SHOULD REPORT IT!" However, after googling a bit, I noticed it's a rather lengthy process with the paperwork, transfers, and all.
I've considered the possibility that she may be lying to me and this is some kind of elaborate lie to spice up her life. But ever since I've begun talking to her, I don't see a reason why she would (we talk a lot; about everything, basically).
My question is to report or not to report. Will reporting the situation lead to more stress in her life later down the road, or would it help quite a bit/significantly?
I apologize if this isn't sufficient information; I do not feel comfortable pestering her about this topic as it is. But if it helps her, I will try to provide additional information if possible.
Will update accordingly. | Friend told just told me her parents has been beating her for quite some time, has several bruises; debating on whether I should report it to the proper authorities or not. |
t3_4k033q | relationships | Me [25F] with my Bestfriend [26F] is getting married,however I don't know if i should put my foot in it. | Lets call her Tess and her fiance Tom for the purpose of reddit.
Tess and Tom have been together 4 years, pretty good relationship until he is out with the boys. They normally just get blind drunk and sometime he comes home with random girls numbers on his phone or girls will message him. Sometimes he accidentally in his drunken state gives out Tess' number.
Tess is a nurse so she has random hours and doesn't go out with him often, and she doesn't mind this aspect of Tom, her reasoning is that as long as he comes home to her, she doesn't care if he TALKS to other girls.
Now first incident. About 1 year ago, one of the boys was getting married and they had a bucks. My partner and a few of the people who attended who aren't close with the "boys" all raised this concern. Tom disappeared with a female entertainer for a long….lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng… while, long enough for some of the guys to look for him.
He denied anything happening and Tess let it forgave him and let it go, her reasoning it was a bucks and he probably was getting a dance.
Now we are two weeks out from the week, everything has pretty much been paid. Last weekend was the Tom's Bucks and to sum it up for reddit purposes the boys reinvited the same female entertainer, night was pretty crazy and well the next morning my partner and two other guys sent me a lovely picture of Tom in bed with his evening entertainment.
Apparently he was missing from the moment she arrived for a dance and this time a have a collection of photos to prove that is wasn't just a dance.
I wasn't the one who broke the news to Tess, Tess' brother did, he also punched Tom's Lights out.
Anyways Tess wants to talk to me about it tonight, really discuss her options, she "thinks" she can FORGIVE him. I want her to leave him, and he can repay her for the wedding cost. But that's just me. I need advice because I don't want to go into this conversation unprepared. | 2 weeks until wedding Groom cheated. Bride is unsure to stay or go and has asked me for advice and now i need advice |
t3_bpgjr | AskReddit | I would like to (re)Learn to play Piano, I have a keyboard, but I cannot afford lessons until I have a post-grad school job | Thank you in advance for any advice I get Reddit.
Backstory: I used to play piano when I was a boy and into my early teens. I could read music (not complicated stuff but definitely the stuff in the type of music books you'd expect a person playing for a few years to read).
The problem is that I quit when I hit high school. I did not really like the piano because it was forced on me by my parents and like any typical teen, I rebelled against it. Instead I wanted to do after-school sports, hang out with friends, etc, and my parents decided I was old enough by high school to make my own choice with regard to the piano.
Naturally, this has come to be the thing I regret most in my life. When I think about how well I could play by now (I am in my early 20s), I shudder.
Reddit, I am determined to take lessons again someday but I am in grad school and cannot afford them until I have a real job. | Stopped playing after three years, want to learn again, cannot afford lessons till first real job, have old busted keyboard, willing to learn scales on my own for a year if that's what it takes. |
t3_1louh6 | relationships | Me [29/M], newly single. Does anyone else feel like monogamy is unnatural? | I was with my ex for about 4 years, and I don't know what happened - it could have a lot to do with her mental problems, her high sex drive, or something...but after about 2 years, I stopped having sexual desire for her. I still found her attractive, but I just felt like...I dunno, she made it too easy, and I just didn't care to fuck her. It's like I would rather look at porn because at least then I have some variety.
Around this time I also used to check out women EVERYWHERE. My ex was a bit on the chubby side, so I found myself checking out basically any woman who was fairly pretty and had a feminine body.
Again, I was this way for about 2 years. I finally had to break it off. I stayed with her because I truly did love her, but my desire for other women was just too great.
I've thought (and fought with her) about this quite a bit, and I just feel like perhaps monogamy just isn't natural. Surely other men in relationships check other women out too, and women check other men out. So how do you keep up sexual desire for just one person?
I'm also pretty sure monogamy is fairly rare in nature. So what makes us special? I really do love my ex, but this issue of sexual desire was just a huge problem and one that I feel I could just not biologically overcome.
So I feel like what I went through happens to a lot of men. Perhaps that's why so many men cheat, why the divorce rate is so high, etc, etc.
Has anyone else gone through this or have any thoughts? Thanks. | Had a great relationship with my ex, but it was ruined due to a lack of sexual attraction that I could not overcome. Made me question monogamy in general. |
t3_4ozcji | relationships | My [30F] aquaintances [32M/20F] that I suspect have a fling have similar time stamps on fb messenger- is this evidence? | Hi reddit, I have a guy [32M] and a girl [20F] among my acquaintances and I suspect that they have something going on. When I look at fb messenger, they are/were often online at similar times, could this be evidence that they are/were chatting? E.g. One time it said that both of them were last online at 1AM-ish.
But, of course, this could also mean that they just look at fb on their phones at the same time or chat with others. Am I reading too much into this? Would that make you suspicious?
I mean, when 2 people come/leave a location at the same, it does make others suspicous. So how about synchronized fb messenger behavior? | Do similar time stamps of 2 people on fb messenger mean that there is something going on? Would it make you suspicious? |
t3_4h6c7f | relationships | I [24 M] have developed a pretty bad crush on one of my roommates [22 F] and I'm not sure how to work through it. | I've been living with a couple of people (college kids, mostly) for a new job, going on about half a year now. I've gotten to be pretty good friends with one of them, but as of late I've been crushing on her really hard, and I worry it's starting to show.
She's single but has mentioned not being interested in relationships for the moment, as she doesn't plan on staying in the area after graduation and isn't keen on an LDR. She has talked with me a lot about hooking up with dudes (though none yet, as she's only recently single), but I've come to the strong understanding that I'm not on the list.
I'm not really looking to confess my undying love, get married and live happily ever after; I think it's both really unlikely, and I have my own bad experiences with LDRs. I just want to stabilize my own feelings while keeping her as a friend, because I really value her company. So, how do you guys deal with crushes? | Got a crush on a rad roommate, relationship would take a miracle, but want to keep her as a friend. How do I get over it? |
t3_ue766 | AskReddit | Reddit, my parents went through a divorce lately and I think my mom's going through depression. I need your help. | Hi there, reddit.
Like I said, my parents went through a rather nasty divorce lately and it's taking a huge toll on my mom. For my entire life she's always done what she thought was best for me and my brother. Now, under the weight of a near-minimum wage job and the fear of living the rest of her life alone, I'm beginning to fear for her. She's expressed a desire to die, shows very little interest in the world around her, and has overall become - and I hate to say this - but not very pleasant to be around.
I just graduated college and think this would be a great opportunity to do something fun or help open her mind back up to the wonders of the world, anything to attempt to lift her out of her depression.
I've got a few weeks. Does anybody have any similar experiences? Looking for advice for both her and I, as well as suggestions for any fun things we could do while I'm home.
Thanks, Reddit! | mom's depressed. I've got some time home to spend with her. Looking for advice and suggestions for what to do to help her. |
t3_4woxk2 | askwomenadvice | [24M]What should i do? The most difficult decision of my life. | So ill try to keep this story short but i dont think i can, anyone who wants more insight be free to pm me.
Hi everyone!
Thanks for reading this in the first place. Now i've dated this girl about 6 months ago, we broke up and then continued being friends. Tried dating again but she didnt want to because she was not in love with me...
We continued being friends and up until now i am fine with that, i enjoy being friends with her and we have fun and i am content with the current situation.
However i still have this feeling for her... I cant describe it, it's kinda stupid because i dont love her like i used to but i do still like and think about her. Last weekend we went to a bar and even though she has a boyfriend now which was her ex at the time she met me, we still had amazing fun and we were kinda touchy with each other.
Nothing like kissing or anything but just kinda dancing and like giving an arm etc. Nothing special in any way.
Now there is allot of backstory but lets just say she and her current bf dont get along always. Mostly she is angry at him because he is selfish. She doesnt always looks happy and it hurts me to see her that way. I just simply wish her to be happy.
So i give her advice allot of times and she even thinks of me like a Dr Phill or something. Now i would like to express my thoughts and feelings to her but i am afraid that she will back off and just end our friendship since she doesnt feel that way.
But at the same time if i keep getting that feeling whenever we do something i just cant go on. It will kill me from the inside since i see so much more in her then just a friend. The whole situation is confusing for me and im lost.
I know most of you will say to break it off and move on but i want to find a way to keep being friends while getting rid of this feeling. That would obviously be the best outcome.
Anyways share your thoughts and let me know :) | Dated a girl, broke up an became friends. Now stuck in whenever i should stay friends with her or say that i like her and with the possibility of never being friends again. |
t3_1oe8qm | relationship_advice | My [22/f] Mother [63f] is guilting me about not coming home for thanksgiving or christmas. | I've just started my first full time job, and it looks like I'm going to be working through Thanksgiving, and I thought I could try to come home, but it might be impossible.
I also told her that I'm spending xmas with my friends and extended family in the UK.
Now she's guilting me, and saying I'm letting my job and aspirations take over my life.
I normally would be more sensitive to her plight, but she's someone who has always put her company before her family, and when I offered to pay her way to come see me for thanksgiving, she said she was too busy. I'm in a job where I travel to a different city every other week, so it's just impossible for me to get there.
Also, I hate going home for xmas because she always puts me to work the entire time, and I don't want to work on my only holiday. I want to sleep and eat and do nothing.
Do I just weather this storm? | My mum is making me feel bad about not coming home for thanksgiving or xmas, I call her 3 times a day, and I'm just don't have time |
t3_1242ju | dating_advice | How to recover from coming on too strong? [M19] | I have been on 4 dates with this girl [17]. I am 1st year university and she is in highschool.
First 3 dates went great, 4th date was sort of scattered and we watched a movie that I recommended but she didn't enjoy. A couple of make out sessions on 4th date if that makes any difference.
Driving her home after 4th date I asked her if she wanted to do some the following week and she said yes, she would text me if she was free.
I sent her a text a couple days later with a joke about something that happened on the date and she replied "lol!
8 days after that I hadnt heard from her, so I texted her "How's it going"
"pretty good"
Nothing for 3 days, so i text asking if she wanted to do something that weekend and she said she was sick. I asked about the following week and she said she would be busy with school / work.
At this point i was frustrated asking if I should take a hint and move on.
Her: "Wtf, i just busy right now"
Then basically repeat that exact series of events 2 1/2 weeks later, but with her giving me a very long text about how busy she is and that I should chill out.
Me: "Sorry I've been under a lot of stress lately, if you're busy I'll hold off for a while"
no response.
I'm never this clingy, and I don't know why I pushed so hard, but I'm pretty sure I ruined it. I plan on just leaving her alone for a while.
Is there anything I can do to fix this? How long should I wait to text her again, 3 weeks? | Asked why girl was ignoring me, turns out she was just busy and didn't bother to text me, repeat. I come off really desperate. How to fix? Thanks! |
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