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t3_24pkle | relationships | My girlfriend (20f) just broke up with me. (20m) | My girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me today. I saw it coming, we weren't working and we weren't even on the same page. I wanted something serious and she didn't. I thought she was the one. This is my second serious relationship and I do not know how to handle myself. I don't want to let myself get depressed.
The problem is that she told me she still wanted to be really close friends. She told me she still has feelings for me and doesn't want me to just leave her life. The worst part about this is that we have the same exact friend group. She still wants us to hangout and for her to tell me everything and all that friend stuff. How am I supposed to handle this?
She broke up with me because she doesn't want a relationship anymore and has too much going on in her life.
On a positive note, I knew I wasn't happy either because we were on different pages, but I still wanted it to work.
When we were talking she was begging to still be friends but I told her I didn't know. I took control of the situation so I wouldn't have to feel like I owed her anything. I don't know what to do.
Can you guys give me some good motivational tips and words to help me feel better?
Sorry if this post is all over the place. | girlfriend broke up with me, didn't want a relationship. I was unhappy but loved her. She still wants to be friends and we have the same friend group. Any tips and motivational words? |
t3_3tyvpg | relationships | Me [23 M] with new girl [23 F] for 2 weeks, fast-paced on emotional side, slow on physical side. | Let me preface this by saying I'(m23) new to exclusive relationships in general. I also have a tough time trusting women as well, (wont go into that) but for some reason this girl knows how to reach my soft side.
We met approximately 2 weeks ago at a fraternity tailgate, we had dinner together (just us) and she came back to my place to sleep over (no sex). We have been talking literally everyday, and just recently had a date that went til 3am, of talking/heavy make-out before even coming back to my place.
She is very confident and comfortable with me, but she has more experience with actual relationships than I do. All of this intimidates the shit out of me, but somehow I still am sharing **a lot** of personal information with her.
This is making me feel uncomfortably vulnerable, because we have yet to have any type of sex yet. Now, normally this wouldn't be a concern if she was a virgin or had low numbers in sexual partners, but she's slept with 15 people. I still have slept with a few more, but mine have been more one-night stands (and bad ones at that). I have insecurities when it comes to sex and don't want to disappoint, especially compared to her previous partners, but also don't want to be just an emotional relationship. I have a limited time left in my current living situation. I want to know that this relationship is worth it, if I decide to stick around this area or move on to a new location.
I know this sounds like a lot, but I would just like some advice on how to address the physical stuff. If anyone has been in a similar situation, that would be even better. | Fast emotional connection, Slow Physical. I might need to move and want to know if this is worth it and not just an emotional relationship. |
t3_1g6pmn | needadvice | Don't know what to do with my life after High School. | Well i graduated High School a few weeks ago and i have absolutely no idea what to do. I have a part time job that **COULD** lead somewhere at a grocery store, if i spent decades there.. which isn't going to happen.
I don't have plans to go to college, as of yet at least. I want to figure out what i want to do with my life before piling debt onto myself and completely regretting what i got myself into. I haven't anyone of this fear and was hoping just one day it would figure itself out which is very unlikely. | Dont know what to do after school has been done, scared because i can't figure out what i want to be and to be happy with it. |
t3_3fnvu2 | relationships | I [30 F] have been abused in my past. How can I stop the continuing fallout from wrecking things with my current partner [33 M] of 2 years [CN mental health, emotional abuse] | **Note: I have mental health issues, including panic attacks, PTSD, depression and borderline personality disorder. Please leave your unchecked stigma at the door.**
I'm at a complete loss, r/relationships. My partner - a sweet, thoughtful, beautiful person - frightens me more that I can say. The idea of him, of us together, makes me vibrate with potential and joy. But. I can't stop looking for the catch.
Some context: I grew up with a narcissistic mother and emotionally distant father. I love them, but god they make me feel like shit. Unfortunately, this precedent set me up for some catastrophic relationship choices in my early-to-mid twenties. I'm still discovering ways in which certain exes gaslit me, made use of my mental illnesses to control me, and found ways to manipulate depressive, listless me into unwanted sex.
An off-colour remark and I'm thrown into a roaring chasm of uncertainty. "What did he REALLY mean?" "How do I work out what is REALLY happening?" "Am I misinterpreting?" "Of course I am, I'm crazy, he said I was..." etc.
I'm so lucky to be able to put that time of my life behind me. I'm waiting for the NHS to provide me with long-term psychotherapy (it is free, but the waiting list is endless). In the meantime, I am completely lost.
I find it so hard to just trust my partner. People always say that's the foundation for any relationship, but honestly I don't even trust myself. I'm having to learn from scratch basic, childlike stuff like appropriate boundaries and assertiveness. It's really important to me to express the paranoid, unhappy thoughts that are poisoning my mind with imagined (REAL??) deceptions and imagined (REAL??) evidence that he will leave me. He listens. He sympathises. He must be getting bored of my shit.
So, anyone. Survivors of emotional abuse. Partners of people with PTSD. Any advice for tackling trust issues with my partner? Thanks guys. | How the hell can I recover from a lifetime of emotional abuse and stop looking for the end of the world in my living, breathing relationship? |
t3_2zwxmx | tifu | TIFU by letting a girl get kicked by a zebra | This actually happened a few years ago but I decided to submit it anyways.
One summer I was at a camp that specialized in horseback riding. We were taught how to muck stalls, how to turn horses out to pasture, and how to ride after all of our daily tasks were complete. This farm was not your run-of-the-mill princess party setting. There were 'exotic' animals. This included George the horny Llama, who frequently escaped only to find him trying to get jiggy with the mares out in the pasture, a baby camel, a donkey and finally a pair of zebras. We were taught to turn the exotic animals out last (with the exception of pervy George). This was because they were typically the most unpredictable. The camel was easy but being that the zebras were actually from Africa and had been rescued a couple months before the incident, we were taught to stand out of the way when turning them out. There was a smaller girl at the camp who we always had to tell to get out of the way, don't touch the electrical fence, etc etc. Anyways, one day we were turning the zebras and camel out to pasture. I somehow got distracted and forgot about my idiot of a buddy. A couple minutes later, I see her on the ground gasping for air. There were other campers that had witnessed her getting a swift kick to the abdomen and then promptly flying through the air. Little did we know that zebra kicks are incredibly powerful. I mean, if you had a lioness on your back, you would want that power. She ended up fracturing her diaphragm and was allowed to return to camp, but only to ride. | Idiot camper stands in way of zebra. Gets kicked, flies through air Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon style. |
t3_1kfmmc | relationships | I (22f) feel used by my ex (26m) | We were together for around 11 months and he broke up with me in February (he didn't really tell me why).
After two months of no contact, we bumped into each other on campus and we ended up spending the day together and sleeping together. After that, we saw each other every few weeks.
2 weeks ago, he called me and asked me to help him with an assignment he had to do for the next day because he would have been kicked out of university if he didn't do it. I stayed up with him all night and helped him with it (even through the stressed yelling) and he gave it in on time.
We spoke later that day but he suddenly seemed quite cold, like he didn't want to speak to me (even though he called me). He was the same the next few times we spoke and started saying that "this doesn't make sense" and that "we should see other people" without explaining what happened and told me he doesn't want to speak to me any more.
Now I'm pissed at him because I feel like he used me to help him with his work (because his other friends just want to smoke his weed) and dropped me now that he got what he needed from me. And I keep thinking about reporting him to the university for cheating on that assignment (he did, he bought an essay and edited it a little) because I don't want him to think he can use me like this.
I'm not sure where to go from here; I don't want to blackmail him into being my friend or anything, that would suck. But I'm really angry at him for being a jerk. | Ex-boyfriend pretty much immediately turns cold after I help him out with a big assignment; I kinda want revenge. |
t3_1t7b5s | relationships | Me [22 F] with my good friend [23 M] who is in a bad relationship, should I tell him I am interested? | This guy and I have been friends since freshman year of high school. We started by hanging out in the same group of friends and eventually became close friends.
We have kissed and fooled around in the past in high school but nothing ever came of it, probably because I wasn't very interested then.
I went away to college four years ago and he stayed in our hometown. Whenever I would come back to visit, he was the one I would call up right away. I dated my ex all through college so even though there was flirting with my friend and I knew he was interested, we just stayed friends.
Well, things with my ex ended recently and I moved back home with my parents. I call my friend up to hang out and he invites me over to a small get together. I find out that he has a girlfriend and am really happy for him! until I catch up with our mutual friends and find out that no one likes her. Turns out she is a manipulative and emotionally abusive shit.
To be honest, I was really excited to hang out with him again because I thought that finally something might happen between us. He has always been an amazing and kind person and his friendship over the years has meant so much to me. Now that I am single I was hoping to rekindle something.
He and his girlfriend are obviously having problems but he doesn't want to quit until he feels like he has done everything he can in the relationship.
**SO my question is...** should I tell him that I am interested and see if he feels the same way? I really don't want to make things more complicated for him but at the same time I hate seeing him miserable. Would telling him that I wish the timing were right for us at some point cause more problems and maybe ruin our friendship? | I am finally single, my good friend is in a bad relationship, should I risk it and tell him that I am interested? |
t3_3errem | tifu | tifu by not cleaning my ceiling fans | So before heading to work I went and made oatmeal on the stove (Trying to stay away from preservatives found in the instant stuff). After I poured the food into the bowl it needed to cool down a bit so I set it on the table and decided to play with the cats. I reach for one of the cat toys that acts like a whip which they love to swipe at. While flinging it back and forth it went just high enough to clip the fan. As the fan grabbed hold it slid down one of the blades releasing a mountain of dust right into the oatmeal. Yeah, I am going to work hungry this morning. | Made oatmeal, let it cool and played with cats, toy was grabbed in the air by fan releasing dust into oatmeal |
t3_4s8unr | tifu | TIFU by getting kicked out by a burrito | I lived with my best friend and his mom at her apartment. My friend and I smoked weed as often as we could so I was often air headed. One day I got hungry and decided to microwave a burrito, I took 1 burrito put it in the microwave and hit the number 5 followed by two zeros. Then I went next door to our neighbor's house, who if you hang around long enough, will eventually end up smoking his weed with us. So we were hanging out there for a while (no clue how long but must have been a long time) because we are all suddenly disturbed by my friend's mom pounding on the neighbor's door and demanding that we come back to the apartment which smells horrible and is filled with smoke. I still don't know what's wrong (like a retarded stoner who forgot about his burrito completely) and walked over to the microwave she was pointing at to discover a small black piece of charcoal in the center. I move the microwave to see the wall behind it is charred to hell as well. I summarize that when I pressed the zero button several times the microwave button pad must have glitched and added several more zeros and I didn't notice in my hurry to go get high.
She then starts yelling at me about how tired she is of me living there causing her problems and demands I move out, I immediately reply with "What the fuck? I don't do anything wrong, this is literally the first thing!"
While I'm yelling this my arms raise up from my sides to express a "What the fuck?" type of gesture to go along with my statement, and simultaneously the very tip of my finger pokes an old vintage vase that she values very much sitting on the fireplace mantle. We both look at the vase as it teeters back and forth ever so subtly and just when it looks like it is going to stop and return to its original stable position, it just topples right off the edge of the fireplace mantle and shatters on the bricks below... I just stare down at the vase for about 10 seconds, look back up at her to see her face lifting one eyebrow up at me, and I calmly and peacefully just say "I'll begin packing." | Accidentally torched a burrito almost burning down my friend's apartment complex and broke his mom's most valued vase while trying to defend myself... ultimately getting my ass kicked the fuck out. |
t3_e3by3 | AskReddit | Have you ever taken a shit so big it won't fit down the toilet hole?? | This thing is a human femur. It's long and rigid and wide enough that it's just sitting there, everytime I try to flush the toilet just gets angry and fills almost to the point of releasing poorly made gravy colored nastyness all over my bathroom floor. I can't plunge because it would just anger the stool and mash it further into the hole. I'm genuinely asking for help, it's been like three days and it's so nasty. I figures I would say fuck it and plunge it today and on top of the redwood in my toilet there was a fucking dead centipede who obviously crawled on it to try to drink some water then instantly died from the bacterial big bang that is going on in there so I just closed the lid and looked up realtors. Help!!! | there is a shit the size of an antique canoe in my toilet that is becoming self aware and I need to know how to get rid of it. |
t3_34mysk | tifu | TIFU by liking Nickelback | Last week in English IV we had to create a soundtrack of our life and associate events with songs of our choosing. As I'm graduating in two Thursday's from now, I thought it would be appropriate to put down Photograph by Nickelback. My friend, Taylor, asked if she could see what I wrote down.
As soon as her eyes grazed across the horrible word *Nickelback* she let out a screech and promote yelled "Daloowee likes Nickelback???" I usually don't really mind what people think of my music choice except for the fact that my teacher destroyed me verbally. She was making fun of me, basically calling me brain dead for enjoying the band, and even pulled up memes on the smart board about how stupid you must be to like them.
I was officially pissed at this point and put my head phones in (not Nickelback). I heard the teacher say "Oh he has headphones in, he can't hear me." Then proceeded to make fun of me and my music choice even more. Thank goodness because class ends ten minutes afterwards.
My teacher tries to apologize profusely the next day and I accepted, thought it was nice, and was done with it.
Monday rolls around and then it gets started up again. Im getting harassed by her once more. I basically give her the biggest "what the fuck" look I've ever given and continue writing my paper. Once I start ignoring her she gets in my face and starts saying, "Why are you being so pissy right now? We always joke around and have sarcastic banter." I just explain that I already asked her to stop. She keeps harassing me and then tells another teacher that "Wow, Daloowee actually has a limit to how much sarcasm he can take. I hope he doesn't want feedback on his paper that he's writing." I just left class after turning in my paper.
There's a policy in my school that if you have an A in the class and you're a senior, you don't have to take the final or come to class that week. I had a B in that English class even after the paper, but I found out the teacher bumped it up to an A so she "didn't have to deal with me anymore." | My English teacher found out I liked Nickelback and verbally wrecked me for a week, then decided it was my fault. |
t3_28tnk8 | relationships | [Dating] Me [24/F] with [23/M] --crushing on him hard! What do I do? | Okay Reddit.. I haven't been single in a long time so dating and crushing and the wonderful world of being single is "new" to me. There is a guy I work with that I always thought was cute when he started but didn't go near because at the time I had a boyfriend. Well, I'm now free to do as I please and we worked together last night and the flirting was game on. I hadn't laughed and blushed so hard in a long time and I could tell he was into it as much as I was! He's really funny and sarcastic and very attractive. He even went as far as taking my phone and placing his number in it. That's good right? Well I gathered up enough courage to text him today and it's not that he wasn't friendly back but he certainly wasn't a "texter" so I kind of got the feeling he didn't want to talk...or wasn't as into it, I don't know. so I politely ended the conversation blaming it on me going to work.
I suppose what I'm trying to get at is, if he gave me his # without me initiating it, he is interested *right?* How shall I go from here? I'll work with him again tomorrow so I'll test the waters to make sure I'm not crazy. And I realize I'm probably over analyzing things but I'm just so excited I'm not thinking straight. And as cool as I am in person, I'm very much a big chicken in front of a phone. Help please! | Cute coworker puts his number in my phone, text him a day later and the conversation didn't quite catch as much fire as it did the night before, kind of confused. What shall I do? |
t3_2tj87q | relationships | I might move and its taking a huge toll on my relationship | Hey guys, so I'm in my first actual relationship if that makes any difference. My partner(19F) and I(18M) have had a great relationship so far and have been through so much together in such a short time(3 months being official, 5 just seeing each other). We both are in a spot in life where we need each other it seems, she has emotional issues and I'm dealing with a bunch of family things, but we keep each other sane and happy at the moment.
However, my cousin proposed for me to move in with him in Las Vegas because there's a lot of opportunities there for me since I decided to take some time off of school. My girlfriend says that if I go its absolutely the end of us. I don't want to lose the first girl that I truly care about and can see myself with for a long time, but I also am thinking about my future and all the opportunities I'm turning down in Vegas. I live in Toronto currently. I haven't been able to sleep for a few days. When I do get sleep I dream about us breaking up. Help? | possibility of moving is risking me my first real relationship wayyy earlier that expected. Losing sleep, don't know what to do. |
t3_1455tf | AskReddit | Does anyone else on Reddit have the ability to attract really strange people? | I have a friend called T [F] who has the uncanny ability to attract weirdos like a specially built weirdo magnet. Whenever my SO [F] and I [M] are out with T strange things happen.
One night we're going out to dinner and we were planning for some Korean BBQ. The restaurant we selected happened to be right next door to an adult shop.
As we're approaching the restaurant out strolls a squat, drunk woman, with a cup full of Sake that she's splashing everywhere. She stops us while we're in front of the adult shop and the following speech ensues.
Sake Lady:
"Well look of this group of sexy young people, I bet all your sex lives are really quite dull. I can help you all spice it up if you want, you know teach you how to be intimate.
I work for Channel 7 and I'm trying to get them to run a news story on how to spice up peoples sex lives. Why don't us three lovely ladies go try on some of the sexy lingerie in there while you (Me) film us [I'm guessing on my own or sake ladies phone?]. I bet you (Me) deep down are into all that kinky BDSM and would like to see us try on that latex right there in the window.
What do you think ladies (SO and T)? I bet you can't wait to..."
All of all of sudden she stops mid-sentence takes a big swig of her Sake and strolls back into the in to the restaurant.
We take a couple of steps back, walk through the arcade and go get Japanese instead. | Approached by weird, drunk woman who proposes that my SO and friend try on Latex lingerie while I film them for a 7 News segment about rekindling peoples sex lives. |
t3_1o1i1s | pettyrevenge | Tell me I need to be punished for someone else's crimes? Get less than your item is worth. | I go to an embattled school that had a scandal within the past few years. Without going into detail, it was pretty nasty.
Well, my friend has decided that the "whole institution" needed to be punished, and that includes me because I didn't quit school the second the scandal broke, and because I stayed after everything was said and done. He has been very mean to me regarding my education, and that I should be "grateful" that I'm still able to get my education. I'd be less pissed if he could let it go after the 2 years, but he brings it up if I even so mention that I'm in class, even on facebook.
So, he was selling something my husband collects. The item he's was selling is worth around $350-400. He'd done absolutely no research on the item, because I think he trusts me to tell him if it's a fair price since my husband collects them. He priced it at about $100.
Well, my husband bought it. And I'm not going to tell him that my husband turned around and has a buyer for it for $250 more than he paid for it. | Harp on something, tell me I deserve to be punished for crimes I literally didn't commit, don't be surprised when I look the other way because you're too lazy to research what you're selling. |
t3_35ipbc | relationships | Sex hurts me (21F) and I feel like I'm failing my boyfriend (21M) | This problem is a little more complicated than it seems. I've looked up similar threads on reddit but none will really work in my situation.
My boyfriend and I have been dating 2 years and are technically sexually active. We've had PiV sex twice, once two months ago and once last week. Both times it hurt like hell. I figured it was okay the first time since I still had an intact hymen and stuff, but it hurt just as much the second time. We tried a couple positions but he was only able to insert it in one position.
I've considered a lot of possibilities but they won't work:
--More foreplay/oral: my boyfriend does engage in foreplay with me and I'm very attracted to him. Our usual activity is mutual masturbation, so he can get me off that way. Oral is out of the question for him. He tried it once, hated it, and that's okay by me. I just imagine it in my head. Sometimes I wonder if receiving oral beforehand would help me feel ready for sex, but that's a subject that's closed.
--Lube: we tried lube the second time, no luck. I was also very naturally lubricated.
--Medical issues: this one is tricky. You see, I have very conservative parents and I live at home and am on their health insurance. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with me physically, but I wouldn't be able to see a doctor to check.
Is there any hope for me? We're planning to try PiV sex again in 4 months and I'm not really looking forward to it. I want to be able to do it successfully, especially since my boyfriend never asks for HJs or BJs and therefore doesn't get off when intimate with me. I want to be a giving lover and it makes me feel like a failure since I'm not able to perform. My BF won't pressure me and never has, but I still want to fix this for his sake.
Any advice for a near-virgin from a conservative home? | Sex is painful for me but the traditional solutions won't really work in my case. Can't see a gyno, no oral, and lube hasn't helped. |
t3_4t5y2i | tifu | TIFU by drinking too much last night | It was miserably hot this week. I got home from work around 7 and decided to have a couple of dranks (Tito's and Arnold Palmer for those that care). I enjoy quite a few more beverages until about 2:30 in the morning. That's when I realized I didn't have today off. So I get a couple of hours of sleep, wake up at 5 a.m. and ask my fiancé for a ride to work. I manage to muddle through the work day until about 9ish when I feel a poop come on. I head out to the port-a-john and start handling business. Then I feel it; that feeling of water filling up in your mouth seconds before the puke comes up. So there I am, pants around my ankles in a port-a-john with a puke on deck. I had only one option: I had to stick my face into the piss receptacle that 1,000 construction workers piss in daily. Not so bad right? Wrong. These things get cleaned maybe once a week, usually on Wednesday. The worst part of it all was the backsplash. Was it my own puke, or some other dudes piss? This is an all time low for me. After I finish this bottle, I'm done drinking. | drank too much last night, had to puke while shitting in a port-a-john and may or may not have got some other mans piss on my face. |
t3_3zoj6g | relationships | I realize that me [23 F] and my boyfriend [22 M] of 11 months aren't marriage material, but for now, have a good relationship. Am I wasting our time? | Using a throwaway because my SO reddits.
I have been dating my SO for about 11 months. We met on Tinder which I think contributed to the fact that we are VERY different people and our social circles did not cross at all. Although we have somewhat similar personalities and interests, our upbringings and many of our core values couldn't be more different. Nevertheless, I love spending time with him, we have lots of fun together, and overall he is a good boyfriend who I do love.
However, the longer I have known him, the more apparent some irreconcilable differences between our lives have shown themselves. These are things that don't really affect our relationship in the short term, but are things that I know would make a lasting marriage incompatible down the line or in a more serious relationship. Things such as our education and the value we place on them, the way we handle finances, the importance we place on health & fitness, and our family relationships & family situations. I am currently getting my MA and he is working full time so we both have very separate lives so, at the moment, these issues don't play a huge role in our relationship.
I know that I do not want to marry this man, yet for now, our relationship is great. Yet it is bothering me wondering if I am wasting his time and my own by having these thoughts. We are both young, but our relationship is getting long- close to a year, and I know something like this may come up sooner or later. It has not been discussed yet, however. Should I stay with him because our relationship is going well and right now there's no real reason to end it? Or should I talk about it with him and possibly end things based on the knowledge that our relationship isn't going to end in marriage? I may be neurotic for thinking this far ahead but I worry that I am getting to an age where dating is a little more serious and I don't want to be doing the wrong thing. I guess I honestly just don't know if it is OK to date someone for a long time that you know you won't be able to marry. Any advice is really appreciated! | I love my SO of 10 months but I know if we were to get married, it would never work out. Should I stay with him because our relationship is currently fine or end things, knowing it won't last? |
t3_ctvws | relationship_advice | Help me move on, or encourage me not to. Who knows? | I met this girl way back in my first week at university, and I was only 16. I was instantly smitten with her, but promptly entered the friend zone. After three years of being her best friend and having her know I love her, she decides that she feels the same way. But as I'm sure you can predict she changes her mind two weeks later. 6 months later, same thing, realizes again she loves me. Changes her mind three weeks later. So that was about 1 year ago now, and we are still best friends, despite going through a shitstorm of drama (I've fought guys over her, thrown her out of the house, had screaming wars basically once a week).
So its been 5 lonnnggg years now, and I still can't move past it. Every time I see her with a guy it hurts a little more, every time I speak to another girl, I cant stop thinking "this chick has nothing on x", and similarly, every time I look in her eyes my heart still melts, and I never want to look away.
So whats wrong with me Reddit? Because if Im rational, I know I should just cut that shit away, and go on to better things, "someone who will treat me right" and all that bullshit. I dont even know if its love anymore, I hate her for the torture she's put me through for the past 5 years, but most of me still sees her as perfect. | In love with best friend who can't make up her mind on how she feels, and despite my best efforts I really cant shake it. |
t3_2yp721 | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [22M] can't get jealous and it's driving me crazy! | I met this wonderful guy 10 months ago and we hit it off really well and fast, he's very sweet, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, you name it, but it bothers me that he just can NOT get jealous. I don't mean I'm trying to go out of my way to make him jealous but he's just so cool with everything I don't know what to do. I tell him I'm going to go see a male friend, me and him alone at his house to watch a movie (not unusual, he's been my friend since we were in diapers so its platonic) he just said "Oh ok. Have fun, sweetheart!" Any time it's like that, he just shrugs it off. I even went to breakfast with my longtime ex without telling him beforehand, and he got upset I didn't tell him beforehand, saying it made him uncomfortable I didn't tell him beforehand. Said he would've let me go but would have liked to know. I know I fucked up here, it was an honest mistake I forgot to tell him. But his reaction really bothers me.
I feel like he doesn't want me as much as I want him. I get jealous when I see him hang out with his female friends, but he doesn't seem to feel the same way with me. He says it's because he trusts me completely but I can't shake the feeling that it's because he doesn't see me as important as I see him. | my boyfriend can't feel jealousy and it's making me think he doesn't love me as much as I love him. |
t3_pj369 | AskReddit | The way to slow down the posts about facebook on reddit, and keep people from posting things from reddit on facebook | Alright guys this is the classic 2 birds one stone kinda deal:
**Bird 1**: I'm assuming all these brainless, yet mildly amusing posts with a screen shot of facebook, come from people who are on facebook (this is of course excluding karma whores who go to sites that generate these posts). Logical amirite?
**Bird 2**: All the people posting on facebook about reddit are clearly people from facebook. I hopefully won't need to explain this one. Otherwise it might already be too late.
**The stone**: Alright guys this is the key part. Awhile back (like I'm talking pre-Digg exodus) someone made a joke somewhere about posting on facebook anytime someone mentioned reddit, saying that it was full of viruses and spam. I have been doing this ever since, and I think it would be a great way to keep your(and my) dumb-ass friends on facebook from discovering the joys and wonders of this website and regurgitating it on facebook, or having them regurgitate facebook here.
Seriously think of the dumbest, most ignorant person on your facebook and ask yourself: Do I really want my grandmother/unfunny friend/ignorant parents/'insert dumb-ass friend characteristic here' to discover reddit? | Anytime someone on facebook mentions reddit, say (non-conspicuously) that it has viruses and spam to keep the less intelligent members of our race off of reddit. |
t3_2yclwa | relationships | I (19m) want to date my step cousin (19f) but I don't want to ruin our friendship. | I really like this girl. She is beautiful, we get along great, have very similar personalities. The problem is we're almost family. She was partially raised by my dad's girlfriend, so she is kind of like my step sister in a way. I have talked to her and told her that I was into her a few months ago and she said she thought I was cute, but we're pretty much family and it would be weird if we dated. This was maybe 6 months ago.
Since then when we have hung out together we have been sleeping together in the same bed. When we are falling asleep she will caress my back. We don't really cuddle per se, mostly because I don't want to turn her off or have her be creeped out. These kind of mixed signals confuse me.
I think we could be a good couple and all my friends say we would be cute together.
I am reluctant to talk to her about it again because last time I did it made for an awkward tension filled weekend. Also we are really good friends so I don't want to turn her off by keeping on coming on to her.
Even if we did date, if we were to break up I would still have to see her sometimes when I visit my dad. That could be another awkward situation.
I'm just confused and don't really know what I should do because I am pretty much clueless when it comes to girls. I could use some advice if anyone is willing to give it. | I want to date this girl but we're kind of related and she has turned me down in the past because of it. How do I talk to her about it without making things awkward between us? |
t3_4zys3g | relationships | I [25 M] have been dating a girl [28 F] for almost two months, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure. | I've been seeing a girl for the past couple of months and I'm feeling a lot of pressure. I think she is worried about our age difference of two and a half years. She is a very ambitious and career focused type of person. She works late nights and is advancing quickly at her company. The problem is that her goal setting and target making tendencies seem to roll over into her personal life as well.
She has openly told me that she wants to buy a house in two years and have children within the next five.
She's worried that in a few years she's going to want to settle down and I'm not. effectively wasting years of her time.
Is this a big red flag? Should I cut and run? Do lots of girls in their late twenties think this way?
I really like this girl and I want to keep seeing her, but at the same time I don't feel like I can be in a relationship with a girl who is watching the clock.
How should I approach this? All advice welcome and appreciated. | Girl I'm seeing has told me she wants to have children in the next 5 years. I feel a lot of pressure having these time limits in place. I want to keep seeing her. How should I approach this? |
t3_20so5v | relationships | Me [19 M] getting text 5 months after break-up from ex [18 F] duration, I don't know what I'm feeling and if this is normal | so my ex-gf broke up with me 5 months ago, it was a horrible break up and we havent talked since... anyways tonight she randomly texted me and started talking to me saying she missed me and has always thought about me and shit but I told her I couldn't be friends with her and that we should stop talking.
I thought I had completely moved on (i've been flirting with this new girl and she really does make me happy) but all the feelings of jealousy, abandonment, hurt all surfaced as soon as my ex sent that text, am I not over her? It was a toxic relationship and I'd never want to go through it again but why does her talking to me affect me so much? I did tell her we cant be friends and I blocked her number but my stomach feels horrible and I cant sleep now. | I feel fucking horrible after my ex randomly texted me 5 months after a breakup, what is this I'm feeling and is it normal? |
t3_44re5t | relationships | My girlfriend [19/F] of 1 year wants to spend time with me [20/M], but I'd rather play video games today | So my girlfriend doesnt have any friends or family, meaning I'm the only person she can spend time with. The thing is, it's not good for me or our relationship if we spend time 24/7. My boss said I dont have to go to work today and tomorrow. So I told my girlfriend I want to spend sunday night alone and play with my friends. Since it was so much fun yesterday I want to do it again today. I won't be getting a day off that fast again as well.
My girlfriend hates it when I play video games till 3am, but I need it. I've been playing video games with my friends for 7 years and we had some of the best times doing so. I completely stopped playing when our relationship started, because she is my first girlfriend. I'm starting to miss those times though. I am scared shes going to be sad and pissed when I tell her I don't want her to sleep at my place today.
Am I being too selfish? She already gave me time to play yesterday. I know I should do what makes me happy, but making her feel sad and angry just for my sake?
I hope you can somehow help me out :( | Girlfriend wants to sleep at my place, but I'd rather play video games with my friends. Shes going to be angry and sad when I tell her that, so I don't know what to do. |
t3_3ar04t | relationships | Me [23F] and my [28M] BF of just over two years are planning to marry "someday", but I have no idea of what "someday" means to him. | First off, I want to say that I am no means in a rush to get married. We're completely happy simply living together for right now and enjoy life as it comes to us (some recent events have brought to light the legal benefits of being married, but we don't want those to be deciding factors).
We've talked about the future multiple times: getting married, buying a house, starting a family, etc. He's brought up the conversation too and seems genuinely excited, so I know it's definitely our plan. However, it's always just been "someday". For him, "I'm coming home soon" could mean five minutes or five hours. He's not very concise with things like that, so I have no idea what "someday" means to him.
I've thought about just flat out asking him what his intentions are, but I don't want to put him on the spot or ruin any potential surprises. I'm not talking about knowing exact when and where and how and whatever that he's planning to propose, just a general time frame.
We're planning a trip across the country at the end of summer to go backpacking for a week with friends. It's something we've both wanted to do for years and we finally get the chance to go. Personally, I think at the top of one of the mountains would be the absolute perfect place for him to ask. I've hinted to him this as well, so he's aware of the idea.
If he's planning on asking on this trip, great! If he isn't planning on anything this soon, that's fine because it will still be an amazing trip. If he wants to wait until I'm completely done with school (I have to at least get a masters and I'm finishing my bachelors up in a year or so), that's fine. Anywhere in between works, too.
I just don't want to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed if we're not on the same page. | The BF and I are planning on marrying "someday". How do I find out what "someday" means to him without coming off as pushy? |
t3_4d90op | relationships | New boyfriend [21/m] wants to join the Navy in a year, but what does that mean for me[20/f]? | So I just met a really incredible guy. We dated for about a month and made our relationship official in February. Though we haven't even known each other for very long, we just click so well. Maybe this is part of the naive honeymoon phase, but when we started dating, we both understood we were looking for something long-term and serious and I've been nothing but myself. I know this is like, not enough time to know somebody truly, but overall I feel like we are very open and honest with each other after our past relationships, both of which were long term.
Since the beginning of our relationship, he has not kept it like secret from me that he wants to join the Navy, but recently he has been doing more research on it and talking to a recruiter and getting more serious about either going to officer candidacy school or straight up enlisting after he graduates college next year. The more research he does, the more real it becomes that this is a thing that will probably happen and it makes me kind of sad to feel like our days together are numbered, as I know contact is difficult in all branches of the military so I wouldn't get to see him or talk to him, which seems unimaginable to me as we talk every day and hang out after work/class most days.
I want to tell him how I'm feeling and ask him what him enlisting/going through OCS would mean for our relationship because every time he brings up Navy stuff, it makes me think of the fact if he goes, I'd be alone. However, I feel like it's too soon in our relationship (we've barely been dating for two months) to bring this up, despite the fact that it's weighing so heavily on my mind.
Just wondering what Reddit thinks on whether or not I should tell him how I feel since we both know we want a long term relationship or if I should just work on coping with these feelings individually since that's more than likely what I will have to do when he enlists? | new boyfriend wants to join the navy. we both want a long term relationship, but i don't think we've been dating long enough for me to voice my concerns. |
t3_1o7ij7 | AskReddit | Reddit, what do I do about my slut girlfriend? | Just needed to vent this out somehow, to people i don't know
So ive never posted anything on reddit, but stick with me...about a month ago, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me for really no apparent reason. She continued to text me and she kept telling me she loved me and I didn't really know wtf her deal was..anyways, one week after us breaking up, she went to a party. The next morning, she told me that she wanted me to hear it from her first and she told me that she had kissed a guy a few times. The guy just happened to be the one person on this earth I despise, so I was pretty angry as you could imagine...fast forward to about 2 weeks ago, she starts begging me to take her back because her life is missing something without me..and after making her wait a few days I decided to agree to get back together. Now a few minutes ago I just found out from someone that my girlfriend actually gave the guy a bj and possibly had sex with him. I dont know what to do now, and I'm turning to reddit to see if anyone has advice or similar stories. | my girlfriend dumped me, told me she kissed a guy, begged for me back, got back together, and now found out she might have actually fucked that guy. |
t3_3wpyec | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [21M] and his family [50sM, 40sF, 18F] they have generously invited me to go on vacation with them and I don't know how to thank them | Some Background: I have been with my boyfriend since I was 16 and he was 17. His family and I get along very well, his mom in the past has even helped me with job opportunities and she has gotten me Christmas and birthday presents in the past.
My boyfriend's dad has a sister and brother-in-law out in Puerto Rico, and they go down as a family every couple years to visit (and as an excuse to go to Puerto Rico, let's be real).
My boyfriend's family is also pretty well off (his parents pay for his tuition at college as well as his rent), whereas I am pretty much on my own financially and cannot afford big presents or things like that.
This year, my boyfriend's family has invited me to spend a week with them in Puerto Rico, and though they have assured me that I don't owe them anything and that they are happy to have me along, I really want to find a way to thank them. They are paying for everything including airfare. I have absolutely no idea what to do or how to properly thank them. As I mentioned before, I have limited funds.
Any advice or ideas would be appreciated! Also, let me know your favorite thing to do in Puerto Rico! | My Boyfriend's family is paying for me to go to Puerto Rico with them, I need to find a way to thank them that won't break the bank |
t3_1o5j8m | dogs | Has anyone had experience with home treatment of ear infections? I'm considering it as an option here... | I have a 1.5 year old pittbull/whippet mix. She had a yeast infection in both of her ears when I first adopted her (March 2013). She also has skin allergies and is on a grain-free diet.
I clean her ears every week. When I cleaned them on Saturday I noticed one ear was a little puffy and crusty. Today I took another look at it and it is crusty and puffy. To be honest, I really can't tell if she has been scratching it more than is usual.
I made an appointment with her vet for Monday. I'm debating trying the 50/50 vinegar and water treatment on her ears in the meantime and/or skipping the appointment.
Since she has had a yeast infection before AND has allergies it seems likely that she has another yeast infection. I would like to save us some time any money. The infection seems to be very mild right now, and I will (of course) take her to the vet if it starts to looks worse/does not improve.
Does anyone have any experience with home treatment of this kind of issues? | Dog's ear is irritated and crusty. Has had yeast infection in the past. Am considering giving home treatment a try but will take her to the vet if necessary. |
t3_1rp7hz | relationships | He's married to my best friend.. | When I was a freshman [15F] in '08 I started talking to someone we'll call Jake [18M]. I had known Jake for a few years and had always had a crush on him. He was from my church, we had a class together, and had the same group of friends. When it was clear that we were more than friend someone else came into the picture. He pushed me to the side and she became his new interest [14F]. (We'll call her Claire.) Claire was my really good friend at the time so I let it go. He told me she was the one and I had no intention of ruining that for him or her.
Eventually they fell in love, had a baby, and got married. I lost touch with Claire and as for Jake, I didn't exist.
Fast forward to earlier this year.
I still wasn't on the friend level with Claire but more like an acquaintance.
Jake ended up recruiting me as one of the media techs at my church. We started to spend a lot of time together but nothing romantic.
A friend told me that him and Jake were talking and I came up in the conversation. Jake mentioned that we had a thing and sometimes he wishes that there was more to it. I freaked. I'm not one to go after guys in relationships much less a marriage. I started avoiding him and started spending more time with Claire and their child.
She's my best friend now and I dont want to ruin things for her. Jake's a great guy but I dont see him with anyone but Claire and they have a family together. Jake and I still spend a lot of time together because of church. We text and on rare occasions talk on the phone unless it has something to do with projectors, computers, soundboards, lights, or practices. But lately the texts have been a little too friendly and he call to see what I'm up to and how we should hang out. I dont go along with him but I don't want Claire to get the wrong idea.
What should I do? .-. | my [19F] high school crush ( he's now [23M] married to my best friend [18F] and has a baby) is being a bit too friendly |
t3_25gxbq | relationships | Me [22/F] with my boyfriend[31/M] of 2 years, how do I help him through this? | Throwaway because he knows my username. I'm (22/F) looking for ways to offer support to my boyfriend (31/M).
First, he currently is employed by a temp agency, and hates the place they sent him to work. I offered ideas, like searching for a new job on his own, but he says due to his field (advertising), he would have to move out into the city because he is unwilling to make the commute out to where most of the ad jobs would be. Oddly enough... I live in the same suburb as him, and make this exact same commute to my own job (so it's not impossible). But he just hates the 45 min-1.5 hour commutes.
Second, he claims he is unable to move out at the moment due to his mother. She was injured during work 2 years ago, and just recently started looking for jobs. I think she needs him around to help with the heavy work. She told us she wants to move to FL to live with her daughter (BF's sister) and her husband after she has saved up enough money and can sell the house... but who knows how long that will take? And it seems more like a fantasy for her at the moment, it's just not realistic.
He just seems so unhappy and negative about all of this, and it's starting to show in his behavior towards me. He'll accuse me of acting differently, or not wanting to spend time around him. I'm offering as much support as I can, I'm trying to be happy and upbeat for the both of us... but I feel like I'm running out of ideas on how to support him. Does anyone have any advice on how I can navigate this situation? I will not consider leaving him. | Boyfriend's work/home life starting to take a toll on his outlook/attitude, how do I help him through this? |
t3_3qt4v6 | tifu | TIFU by synthesizing polyvinyl alcohol and being a league player | We made polyvinyl alcohol in Chem lab yesterday, a manly jelly/play-dough-esque substance that looks like it was extracted from the depths of the Incredible Hulk's nostrils. Anyways, I decided to add green dye to mine since it made it look like Zac (a champion from League of Legends). When I got home I thought it would be a good idea to split my amorphous goop into five pieces (Zac splits into little blobs when he dies) and place them on my roommate's bed since he also plays League. The FU happened when I tried to adjust the little blobs; the green dye from Zac stained my roommates white bedsheet in five erratic blobs. | Zac is a savage, left amorphous goop on roommates bed, looks like roommate wet his bed not once, not twice, but five times. |
t3_39q103 | relationships | I [25/f] am noticing I have been a toxic influence to my bf [26/m] for the past couple of months. How do I fix it? | We've been together 10 months. Very in love, feel comfortable noting that we're pretty much the loves of each others lives. I've come to the realization that I became very attached to my boyfriend during the time he was out of work for an injury. I forgot how to love myself, how to take care of myself; I relied on him for all of this. We've fought a few times for similar issues over the past month and a half, the last time being this past Monday where he finally said he'd had enough, sorry doesn't cut it anymore, and that he was extremely furious with me and didn't want to talk until he'd calmed down or it won't end on a positive note.
I'm scared he's dragging this out and is just gonna break up with me anyway, however his best friend (since birth practically) had asked me what the deal is between my boyfriend and I, as my boyfriend had mentioned to him that we were arguing. Had my boyfriend mentioned to him that he was done with our relationship, I'm pretty sure his best friend wouldn't have asked me what was going on. That might just be me grabbing at straws though.
Anyway, I've realized I need some outside help, and have a therapy appointment on Monday night to try and solve my issues once and for all so I can actually live a healthier, happier life. | I've been incredibly toxic to my boyfriend's overall well being, realized my mistakes and that I need help. Where do I go from here? Is there hope left for this relationship? |
t3_3z0ay2 | tifu | TIFU for taking my quadcopter out for a final flight | I decided to buy one just after Christmas when it was on sale, since they'd always looked like fun. I had been practising it the last few days and had gotten reasonably OK with it - I could generally get it flying around without hitting everything, but wind was still a problem for me.
I noticed this morning that it had been subject to a recall, as of yet, I hadn't had any major issues and the recall hadn't (still hasn't) been formally filed - so I couldn't see the details of the recall. I worked out it was something to do with the controls and link - but so far mine had been going fine.
I planned to, tomorrow (since it's still New Years Day) double-checking the recall status and then returning it if the people weren't lying. Even though so far I'd been fine, I figure it's better safe than sorry. I decided to give it a final quick go before returning it, just in case I didn't get a chance to fly it again for a while.
It's flying alright, winds are a bit more than usual - but so far I was going fine. All of a sudden, there was a massive gust that pushed it over some trees, followed by my remote abruptly losing all connection. I looked up to see my marvellous $320 (RRP $399) quadcopter falling into the tree line.
3 hours later, 3 friends helping later, and we still have no fucking idea where the ever living hell this thing fell too. We can only assume it's hidden in the tree somewhere up ridiculously high (well, only 20m max, but we can't see top down). | I wanted to have one last fly before returning it due to a recall (which was for an issue I didn't think I was being affected by). The wind blew it over trees, the issue struck, it fell, I cried. |
t3_17f5k1 | Pets | Is there anyway I can find out if my current cat likes other cats before I adopt a new one? | I've had Boots for about a month, and he is so awesome that I would like to get a second cat. He's 5 years old and lived with a dog previously.
The only thing that worries me about a new cat, is that Boots won't get along with it. On his adoption papers, it said he hissed at the other cats at the adoption center and he had to be put into a foster home because he was so anxious. I think he may have hissed because he was so stressed about being abandoned in an unknown environment. When I took him to the vet a week after I adopted him, there were cats roaming their lobby, and he didn't seem to care, but then again he was in my arms the entire time and the other cats never got closer than two feet. So who knows if he hissed because he was anxious or not.
I don't want to bring a new cat home, only to have to take it back because it doesn't get along with Boots, that would be traumatic and unfair to the new cat. How can I tell if my cat will get along with a new cat? | How can I tell if my cat doesn't like other cats? I don't want to bring a new cat into a hostile environment and have to take him back |
t3_4xrg08 | relationships | My (18m) girlfriend (18f) of (only) 3 months told me that her period was late just before I was going to break up with her. I think I'm being manipulated, but I also don't want to dump her now if it's real. How should I proceed? | I'm not totally sure how obvious it was that I was going to break up with her. We were still on cute and friendly terms although we had talked about the future. College will make things long distance. The final red flag I needed came a week ago when she proposed an open relationship, saying she thought it would give me the "freedom I deserve" and also keep me attached to her. I had given no indication of wanting to sleep with other people, and she had made it clear that she would never sleep with anyone else and has separation anxiety. So she wants to maintain our relationship status and have a piece of me even if it means sharing. To clarify, I was super uncomfortable with the idea of an open relationship, and I thought it would make me feel even more trapped in this relationship - which caused me to realize that I am trapped, and I've been pretty well manipulated all summer. I had resolved to break up with her, but she conveniently texted me that her period was late just a day before I was going to do it. "Dont worry yet, but I'll give it a week and then I'll get a test." It is highly unlikely that she is pregnant. You guys don't need details, but we use protection and we don't take any risks. I am also aware that she has a highly irregular cycle. I don't know what to do. | I need to break up with her but in the nick of time she told me she miiight be pregnant. I don't want to stay in this relationship but I also can't abandon her if it's not a false alarm. |
t3_3b6h08 | relationships | I [28M] have a crush on a friend [30F]. I asked her out over a year ago and she declined, but should I ask again? | Like the title says, I asked her out a year and a half ago and she said she only wanted to be friends. We have remained close and my feelings for her have fluctuated in intensity since, but never gone away. It's also complicated because she has not had very good luck dating guys for very long and recently has been feeling down about it. Last week she complained that it feels like no one finds her attractive, and I wanted to say "I am attracted to you," but I didn't. She means a lot to me, and I don't want to mess up our friendship, but would it be a mistake to ask her out again? Would I taking advantage of her feelings? | I'm crushing on a friend and I want to ask her on a date after she said no over a year ago. |
t3_2c5sqb | relationships | I [16 F] want to get my best friend [16 F] out of a relationship that is bordering abusive | This is my friends first relationship and they have been dating for about 3 months now.
Her boyfriend is easily influenced by his friends and he has this one friend that he always talks to lets call her elie, who is a bad influence on him.
All of their conversations are about sex and I feel that, it isn't appropriate, My friend also once accidentally saw their conversations and he quickly took the phone away and tried to explain himself even though she didnt care and wasnt mad/ wanted an explanation.
He also is pressuring her to do sexual things for him, and send him nudes, and tells her that every relationship does that, and its not normal if they dont. And constantly compares their relationship with elies.
Her parents are also a bit strict, so she isnt allowed to date, and she got caught. which she got in trouble for, and although her parents are loosening up a bit, she isnt allowed to leave much. And she does make time she goes to meet him for 1-3 hours every 2-3 days.
and he constantly complains and tells her that they never hang out, and she should hang out more ( even though she goes through alot of shit just to leave the house, and he knows it), he told her to lie to get out of the house even though she said she doesnt want to lie because it ruined the relationship with her parents and she would like to establish trust with them.
he is being rude and mean about her circumstances.
I want to help her before this snowballs into something worse, but she wants to make this work, clearly it wont, and I feel its because its her first relationship thats why she doesnt want to let go. Theres also the factor that she wants to prove her parents wrong | I want to help my friend get out of this relationship before it snowballs into something worse, but she doesnt know what to do because she said she loves him. |
t3_2p0ymr | relationships | I [18m] sent a text joking about hitting on another girl to my [20f] girlfriend, she took it seriously and now she is pissed at me. | Long story short: so I [18m] like this girl [20f] ( lets call her Sara) and I am pretty certain she likes me aswell. We are not an "official couple" but more like friends with benefits ( we have been FWB for a about 2 months.
Today I was at the cinema with a couple of my friends and I see there's a girl sitting next to me. I decide I should send a text to Sara which said "There's a good-looking girl sitting next to me, should I try hitting on her? ;)" Note that she has sent text's like that too me as a joke too, and she always found it funny. So naturally being the idiot I am, I decided to send the text to her since i thought she would not take it seriously at all, But she did.
She is now really pissed at me and won't talk to me at all. I have tried calling her texting her etc, but instead she ignores me.I hate seeing her upset/angry, but I just don't get why she got mad at me when she has done the excact same thing to me before. Am I being a douche here or she just over-reacting?. What should I do to make her feel better? | Sent a text to my FWB saying I wanted to date a random girl i saw, meant it as a joke but she took it seriously. Now I look like a douche to her. |
t3_3zr8wp | loseit | Tips for avoiding/dealing with rash? | I decided today was the day I start losing weight. It was my day off and I wanted to stay active. I usually take about 10,000 steps in a day, so I decided to try my best to reach that on my day off. I went for a 3 mile walk, and didn't notice anything. Now that I'm home and it's sometime later, I have a thumb sized patch on my thigh from where they rubbed while I walk.
I have a history of getting rashes, but it's usually over a period of time. Takes a week to show up and a week to disappear, but this one was almost instant.
I was wondering what I could do to avoid this in the future? Is there a certain type of underwear that would help me? Maybe powder or deodorant?
Also, now that I HAVE the rash, what can I do to keep it from hurting when trying to work out? I know that I always try and find excuses not to work out, and I don't want this to become one of them. | My thighs rubbed together and now I have to walk like a cowboy. How do I avoid this in the future and deal with it now? |
t3_3g9wvn | relationships | Me [31 M] with my girlfirend [30F] of 10 years, breaking up because she is not attracted to me. Hoping to cover any alternate options. | Hey reddit, I'm looking for advice here. My girlfriend recently told me she was not in love with me in the same way she used to be and that she wants to break up. We have talked about it and basically she doesn't feel the same sexual attraction to me as she used to for the past two years.
I asked her is she thought that could ever change or if there was something I could do and she does not think so since it has been so long. I wish she would have told me sooner but she was scared of hurting me. And of course I am hurt but I understand her feelings and I just want her to be happy.
She has a high stress job and works 5 12 hours shift a week, and typically does not want to do anything when she is home due to the stress and she said she is depressed because of here job but also because of the fact that she is not attracted to me. She says that she wishes she still was attracted to me but that is not the case.
Also, she told me it may not be something physical, I mean... I've lost 40+ pounds in the past year and am skinny, I got kinda heavy at my last job since it was stressful but have since starting taking classes to find something better.
Anyway, I hate feeling like there has to be something I could do, my worst fear is having regret for not trying something. But the daunting thing is that it's been so long since she has felt this way so I fear that she is right and there is not much to do. Now, we have been best friends forever and I honestly believe we will continue to be friends even if there is nothing I can do, but I do feel very heartbroken at the moment and am just looking for some advice. | Girlfriend of 10+ years is not "in" love with me anymore, Looking for advice so I don't regret not something more. |
t3_1lydtf | relationship_advice | Got no response from r/dating_advice so I (20/M) need advice with trying to date a new (18/F) girl. | Hello everyone, I've never asked for this kind of advice before so please bare with me here. Quick back-story: (M 20) college junior, only had one short relationship before, which ended 4 months ago cause she cheated.
So I met a new freshman girl in one of my classes and got her number by asking if she wanted to study sometime, we studied once this week and I realized I would like to try dating her, so today I texted her and the following is what we said (don't worry it's short)
Me: hey, this is kinda random but wanna go get some breakfast?
no response
Me (some time later): Ok, I went ahead and took that as a no
no response for a long time
Her: Sorry, my roommate and I went hiking.
Me: Oh no worries, that sounds fun though
no response
I already know my second text was a mistake, but I just can't tell if she is interested at all and talking face to face gives few clues she acts kind of timid... I think, and I haven't a clue what to do next. I'm probably just being dumb, but never the less, Any ideas reddit? | New girl doesn't text me much and I messed up a little too, is she into me though? and what the hell do I do next? |
t3_2mlrzo | relationships | How can I [22M] tell the girl I'm recently seeing [21F] that I'm ready to have sex with her? We both live with our parents. | So we've been seeing each other for a month. We both live at home with our parents so that makes things very difficult to escalate. We've only got to touch each other in my car but we left it at that.
We have no place to do stuff but my car but I don't want to be too obvious, same as why I don't want to tell her to rent a room, I think it would be quite anti-climatic and I don't want to come as desperate for sex to her but the reality is that I can't stop thinking about having sex with her.
I hope this doesn't sound stupid, I don't really know how to do it and I don't know if being blunt was going to help or if I should just shut up and keep waiting. | how can I tell the girl I'm seeing that I want to have sex with her without coming as desperate? Not having any place of our own is an issue. |
t3_17u6zt | relationships | I 24[m] have developed a crush on my friend 24[f]. Mixed signals and need advice. | So I've known this girl for about 8 months now and at first I didn't really look at her romantically. We met at work and I don't have previous experience with relationships and looking back now I probably missed understood some advances she made.
She made the first move. She gave me her number and until she asked if we could get some food and started hanging out more I thought she was just being nice/friendly. I'm pretty sure I made some mistakes that irked her in the past. She complained before that I never text her back/ignore her and she would get a bit upset or distant with me for a bit. I never did that intentionally.
Anyway she is a really extroverted person and talks to a lot of people. Most of her closer friends are male. Which never bothered me until I developed the crush on her and noticed one friend in particular that she may also be interested in.
This made me a little jealous and I just sidelined myself. I figured I'd lose her to him and kinda gave up hope. The thing is to my knowledge they aren't dating. And lately she has gotten more touchy with me and said some suggestive things on the phone.
This is why I'm confused. I talked to my sister about it and she thinks the girl is weird. She goes kinda hot and cold with me. One day she'll talk about needing new underwear or not having any on at the moment with me and the next she is largely ignoring me to talk to her other friend.
I just want some more advice. Anyone have a similar situation? Female perspective? I'm a really introverted guy and I'm afraid to make a move and have her reject me. It's my first post so if this isn't enough info I've got more so just ask. She also has a kid. | Developed a crush on a friend; I think she is attracted to me, but seems distant or focused on someone else at times. Should I make a move? |
t3_3vuwlc | relationships | Update: no resolution in sight. (30m) My stepdad yelled at my (32f) fiancé. | This in an update to this thread.
Long story short, a bad situation, stress, and series of unfortunate events along with drinking resulted in my step dad blowing up and yelling at my fiance.. Very rude words. Saying F you, I don't like you, etc. We left immediately.
He has never ever acted like this as long as I've known him ever in my entire life.. My parents say it was a drunk blowout, and was a once-off terrible random incident that will never happen again. I know he's a good person. We all have drunk moments we regret. This is his. Once in 29 years that I've known him.
My fiance isn't willing to accept an apology. Won't even meet to hear him out.. Doesn't want him in our lives at all. Is very emotional and unwilling to forgive and forget.. I understand it was very rude and unwarranted, and there's no excuse for it. He wants to apologize but she isn't giving him the chance, or letting her see the other side of him. Just nothing.
Obviously I've stood by her side, she is my fiancé. I agree what he did was wrong, but we should be able to look past ONE incident. Now she's turning against my mom, who just wants us to all get along like a family. I don't know what to do. Totally lost. Suggestions? | my step dad yelled at my fiancé. Was a drunken mistake. She won't remotely give him an opportunity to say sorry, so there's no way forward but to shut out my family/parents. |
t3_19s2kk | relationships | Update! My husbands friends can't accept that he and his ex aren't together. (30s) | For the bots: blablah 2.5 years, 32 & 34
Anyway, I want to say thank you for the outpouring of support and kind words. Luckily these aren't my only friends and 99% of the mutual friends we have with the ex are totally sane. I have no plans on seeing the bride-to-be again.
My husband called up the groom-to-be and (plot twist) the groom had no idea this was going on. Groom came over to our house and was equally Pissed at his fiancee. She spoke for him in the email and made it seem like it was a mutual decision. It wasn't. While at our house, groom called fiancee and asked WTF that was about. First she tried to play dumb until he told her that I showed him the email. She came clean, said she intended to address the invite that way, and "didn't think it would be a big deal". What? She said something about how she can't deal with change. Ok.
She eventually said I was invited in Claire's place and Claire plus husband will get their own invite. Groom was instantly on it: he laughed and asked her if she really thought that is why we were upset (that I was essentially NOT invited, instead of the blatantly obvious weirdo move of inviting a former couple). She pouted a bunch over the phone, asked why we were all "ganging up" on her, and told us all, groom included, to fuck off.
Us three ended up having a fun night drinking beer and playing video games.
I have no idea what groom is going to do. I wouldn't marry a selfish child like fiancee, but that isn't my choice to make.
It is amazing to me that grown ass people act this way, but they do. | People be crazy. Groom had no idea. Fiancee tells groom to fuck off. Maybe there is no wedding after all (wishful thinking) |
t3_2065lv | relationships | I'm (21m) feeling reluctant to get back with my ex (18f) | Before we broke up we had dated about 6 months and honestly it was one of the best times I've ever had with a person. I deal with some depression and her personality really helped me deal with a lot of issues I had and has made me more of a confident person in general. We of course had our issues, she has a low self esteem and is very non-confrontational which contrasts with my personality of facing problems head on.
About a month ago I accused her of talking, as in relationship wise, with another guy. She was insulted and by the end of the week she had told me she didn't feel the same way about me anymore. I ended up breaking up with her after I called her and learned she was hanging out with her new guy.
I immediately regretted my decision offering to instantly get back together with her and forgive everything however she didn't take the original offer. Fast-forward a couple of weeks and things haven't worked out with her new guy and she has come running to me because she doesn't really have anyone to talk to. I still talk to her because I do still like her and want to be friends or even more than that.
Unfortunately, after learning she had sex with her other guy I am or really considering not getting back together. I feel like I cannot trust her anymore but I still love being around her. I'm just really confused reddit. Help me out. | Ex and I are considering getting back together, I feel reluctant after learning she had sex with another guy while we were broken up (3 weeks) |
t3_w0j8b | AskReddit | I fell in love with my best friend of two years, only to have her then leave me for another guy. Reddit, what tales of Betrayal have you lived with? | I'll elaborate more on my story.
There was a cute girl in my Spanish class, and I eventually got the balls to talk to her. I got friend-zoned hardcore by her, but I stuck around because she was really fun. Then she met my other best friend, a guy I met in kindergarten, and they dated. That was a very painful time for me, but it eventually ended. I slowly began to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't date her. I watched her go through relationships, longing quietly.
One day, I helped her with a breakup, and she said thank you, then kissed me. Everything changed from there. After two years of being friends with her, I was actually in a relationship with her. We never made it official, or went public, but it never bothered me. This is the girl who I've harbored feeling for (that she knew about) for 2 years, and now I have the perfect relationship with her. There is no doubt in my mind that I was wholly in love with her.
However, one day, she points out a guy to me, and says she finds him attractive. Three days later, She's dating him, and my relationship with her is over. | I met a girl, Got friend-zoned, suffered watching her with other guys, broke friend zone into possibly the happiest time of my life, then she leaves me. |
t3_1jp76o | Advice | Going in for an interview on Wednesday... | I'm slightly nervous, but I think it will be good, I've been preparing and I know what I'm going to say when the Personal Presentation comes up.
But...! During the Personal Presentation am I meant to talk about myself and why I want to fill the apprenticeship. On the "About me" slide I have the regular stuff like "Born in the UK", "Spanish and Jamaican" because my mum is from Jamaica and my dad from Spain. I also have the word that would best describe me and all that.
I was thinking of including a little joke on that slide, I have added "Obama" at the bottom of the slide in smaller text, I was planning on pointing that out and saying that "a lot of people say I look like or resemble Obama, so that can be seen as a plus" (I would say this is a enthusiastic way). I feel like it would make the other candidates giggle a little, hopefully put a smile on the interviewers faces, but I'm not completely sure I should do this.
Thoughts? | Should I make a little joke about people saying I look like Obama or not when on the "About me" slide of the presentation? |
t3_151b2q | loseit | I need tips and help! 19/m (rant) | hello /r/loseit, for a while now I have been wanting to lose weight but I have a problem. I am originally from Central America which means that in our culture the males are seen as fearless and emotionless. I was overweight before getting into college and I have gained a lot of weight since getting into college, my mom has done nothing but yell at me for it and every time I try and get motivated she always shoots me down with quite a lot of harsh criticism. I have tried to give myself smaller portions and try to run but then she yells at me for trying to change because that's not me she wants me to lose it by her own means. I have decided to finally discipline myself and begin to lose weight, I have written my own plan that I will begin to follow, but I am afraid that she will just laugh at it and force me to do it her way.. any help? tips on getting started? anything I need to know for the long run? | want to lose weight, mom laughs at my effort, need help on letting her know not to criticize me and let me do it my own way |
t3_38g0f1 | pettyrevenge | Tales from Fast Food | I work at a mom and pop fast food restaurant. We specialize in Hawaiian food but there's some Chinese because my bosses are Chinese themselves.
Now at my work, because it's so small, there's only one cashier at a time because my bosses can't afford to pay two people at once. This is fine, and most people respect that.
But today this bitch who came in was not having it.
It was a lunch rush (surprise) and the line was reaching the door. I was working quickly and pretty well considering that I've only been here a couple weeks. I went through the line no problem but this awful girl, who looked to be my age, came up.
Me: Hi, what can I get you? (I try to be nice and cheery to everyone so they tip me because I get paid lower than minimum wage.)
Her: Well for one thing your boss. I waited for 20 minutes in that line!
Budding terror blooms in my stomach because my bosses don't speak much English and I'm still adjusting to their accents and ways of talking. So when something goes wrong, sort of like this, I get in a lot of trouble because they can't really understand my explanations. They only understand that someone is upset so that must equal that something is wrong.
Me: Well unfortunately I'm the only cashier right now, so I'm sorry for the long wait, and my bosses are busy cooking since it IS lunch time. A lot of people come in for their lunch break.
Her: (considers) Okay, fine. Can I just get a boba tea? Thanks.
She then throws her money at me and stalks off.
Annoyed and pissed off, I go into the kitchen to make the drink and when I'm spooning the boba into the cup, I only put in half the amount I'm supposed to. So there bitch. You give me attitude and I don't give you all the boba I'm supposed to. | bitch blames me for how long she has to stand in line during a lunch rush, I shortchange her boba tea. |
t3_4t50p2 | personalfinance | What should my priorities be? | Hi PF, I'm a new lurker and I'd love to get some advice from this great community regarding how I should be saving/investing/spending. Any advice is appreciated!!
I'm a 26 year old new attorney making $42,500/year pre-tax which comes out to be about $2,700 a month after tax & health insurance. I only worked part time while going to school so this is my first full time professional job. I live in a small town with a very low cost of living. I expect my income to increase substantially within the next 6 months-1 year because I will be getting commission on my cases. I love my job and I'm getting great experience so I'm not considering leaving yet. However, I am considering finding a way to supplement my income.
My fiancé (we will be getting married at the end of next year and we have 0 children; not planning on any until we are financially stable) is a 30 yo LPN making $38,000 a year. He has another 1.5-2 years going part time to school to get his RN then will probably do an online BSN degree. So his income will be increasing within the next 5 years as well.
Below is a summary of my debt and expenses. My fiancé and I share all household expenses and we are saving together (as reflected below). I'll also mention that I have $0 credit card debt because I pay my bill each month and never carry a balance. I own a 2010 vehicle currently worth about $12,000 with 120,000 miles. We would like to get a home eventually (uncertain whether we build or buy) but we are planning on having $50,000 saved up by the beginning of 2018 (if we continue putting $1,000/month each into our joint savings account) for a down payment. The maximum house price we are looking at would be $250,000. Also, I have an 802 credit score. | what should I be doing? Saving for a down payment? Paying off my student loans? Investing? Help!! |
t3_4srwe0 | relationships | I [22, F] have a crush on my ex of three years' [24, M] best friend [24,M]. He might like me too. Not sure what the right move is. | I'm going to try and keep this sort and not bore you with details. I haven't had a crush on someone in years. "Crush" seems fitting because normally I'd go after the person I like but now it seems wrong too.
Its been almost a year since my ex and I broke up. It took me too long to realize he was a complete jerk.
My ex's friend (let's just say Erick) has always been there for me through my shitty relationship and afterwards. I call him when I'm upset, he tells me I'm pretty, we text basically everyday. That sort of sappy stuff. So I suspect he might like me too but I feel strange because I dated his friend for 3 years! I don't wanna "homie hop" nor do I want to ruin our friendship if it turns out he doesn't like me.
What do I do? | I like my ex's friend, he might like me too. Don't want to homie hop or ruin our friendship if I try something. Help ): |
t3_2430mc | relationships | I'm [20F] having trouble staying broken up with/finally ending things with my "ex" [20M]. | Over the course of 2 years I've been on and off with this guy more times than I can count. We really love each other but it's clear that ultimately we're not right together. All of our friends tell us this too. Every time I try to break up or be just friends I end up getting back together with him within a week or two. I know how stupid I am every time but I guess I'm just needy/dependent or don't want to be alone.
I know it would help to delete him from my contacts and social media but it's difficult to avoid seeing him. He lives in the same house as my best friend who I visit almost every day, we have all the same mutual friends, and go to all the same events. We talk all the time and spend almost all of our free time together so after every breakup his absence just feels so apparent.
Do you have any advice for staying broken up? We're not on bad terms or anything btw. | On and off with guy for 2 years, knowing that we're not for each other but always going back to him against better judgement. Advice for staying apart once and for all? |
t3_4pb49q | relationships | The girl[17F] I've[17M] been dating's father doesn't like how I talk to her over the phone | Some background: I live on the west coast and I've been dating this girl for a couple weeks now and her dad is strict with how I talk to her over the phone. I texted his daughter some sexual jokes(they weren't to be taken serious), he got upset and angry and came to my home, spouting lies about me to my parents. Things like how I asked to see her naked, and how much I like to masturbate a day. My parents immediately knew it wasn't true. He asked that I stopped all conversation with his daughter.
I said fine, alright that is his daughter, I'll have to respect his wishes. He agreed to let us talk again on the condition of no more inappropriate jokes. My parents agreed to just appease him so we could talk again. I ended up meeting him myself, he learned I'm actually a pretty cool guy.
Presently: a couple weeks later I made a dark joke. My girlfriend is describing how they will be visiting her grandmother and how we won't be able to see each other for a month. I jokingly said, "Just euthanize her so we can hang out." Her dad saw the joke and didn't like it, at all. Turns out her grandmother is in bad condition, and might be on her way out. He says it's the last straw, and I can't see her before she leaves, and she can't talk to me while she's gone.
She found the joke funny, but he's so upset over it he's willing to end our relationship. I think maybe he's upset over his mother, and as a result is releasing it onto me. I've talked to a lot of people and we've concluded that if her father continues this way, our relationship won't work out. | What do I tell him? Was I in the wrong for making the joke? Where is the line drawn, and what needs to be said? |
t3_339vl6 | relationships | Me [25m] with my soon-to-be boyfriend [24m]. Hearing him eat grosses me out. | So, after about a month of back-and-forth texting and Tindering, we met up for drinks and a movie and we hit it off immediately. He's funny, kind, and is a great conversationalist. We mesh well together and I could see this being a long term thing. Everything is great, except...
He eats SO LOUD. We've only had dinner out at restaurants so far, but I've been really turned off by all the noise he makes while chewing. Most of it is open mouth wet smacky sounds and not only does it disgust me, it fills me with rage like nothing else I know.
I have tried slowly counting down from 10 in my head or thinking of happy memories, but I can't help but be turned off. Is there a way that I can address this without hurting his feelings and making him feel bad?? Its possible that he doesn't know he's doing it, so I don't want to make him aware of it now so he can be self conscience. Do I just deal with it? Is there anything I can do? | New crush eats really loud and its borderline a deal breaker for me. Is there anything I can do? Anyway I can address this without making him feel bad and feeling like a shallow jerk? |
t3_221ydt | relationships | My [18/f] dad [50/m] just told me he wanted to die... it's my birthday today. | Today, I came home after picking up my hedgehog (stay tuned to /r/aww for him when he wakes up from his nap) and my dad comes in and asks what I got. Suddenly he brings up how much of a bad father he is. I'll admit, I feel no connection to my father and don't want him in my life, for he doesn't do anything for me and wasn't there in my childhood.
He told me his mother called today and told him hes a screw up, and that he deserves every bad thing that happens to him, that he was never there for me in my life. He told me he wants to die, and it's my god damn birthday.
It's my birthday and my dad is telling me how he's so sorry for everything, how he's gonna kill himself, how hes a screw up, and telling me things like he wants to be cremated and his ashes spread in a certain place...
Why bring it up on my 18th birthday? What was a pretty upbeat day just turned into a really depressing and scary day. I also had to tell off an old friend for being a horrendous asshole to me... on my birthday.
I don't know what to do. I feel no emotional connect to my dad, but I don't want him to kill himself. I've been desperately wanting to move out and now I'm scared if I do he'll actually kill himself. | dad told me he wanted to die on my 18th birthday and brought up deep emotional issues that I didn't want to talk about. and why do people like ruining my birthdays? |
t3_4n4ott | relationships | MIL[55F] likes to play victim when I [31M] express general stress/frustrations | This is a general ongoing issue but I'll give a very specific example.
My wife and I are selling our house and are moving in with our in-laws. The household consists of my wife's mother and college age brother and sister. We'll likely wind up being there for around a year due to the housing market, not having much money for a down payment on the next house (taking a loss on our sale), and my wife is 6 months pregnant. To start, I love my mother in law dearly. She is an amazing person aside from this personality flaw.
Story: On a car ride with my mother in law and her son, I expressed stress/anxiety over losing money on the sale of my house, having to do a lot of the renovations to the house, never having sold a house, and being 30 and living with your wife's family. To all of which, she replied with
> Oh you already don't like living here don't you? Are we already annoying you? I know the house is a mess right now but we'll clean it up.
I tried explaining how I loved living there but that it's a hit to my pride and self sufficiency to live with your in-laws. She simply responded with a story about how she had it worse. It felt very dismissive of what I was trying to express. My wife says I have a facade where everything looks ok and no one knows that I'm freaking out. So this was an attempt to express that.
I don't mind the story about how she had it worse. I mind the victim swap where she somehow becomes the bad person. It's frustrating. How can I deal with that? | Selling house at loss, living with in-laws for a while. Told MIL I was having a hard time with the transition and hit to pride. MIL responded with playing the victim. |
t3_2zypl0 | jobs | Looking for employment in another state, and need some advice | Hey guys, first time post to r/jobs.
Here's where I'm at: I'm a content marketing specialist (basically a copywriter) at a mid-sized software company in Dallas, making $46k from my salary with about a $2k bonus, so about $48k total. I've been with this company for a year and a half (started in sales) and in marketing since June of 2014.
Here's where I'm at: I need to move back to the east coast (where I'm from), specifically to the areas of Philadelphia or Baltimore. I'm looking for jobs online, mostly through LinkedIn, Indeed, and the like, and getting really, really freaked out about getting a job back there. I'm not looking to move back until June, so I haven't started applying in ernest yet, but I'm getting nervous at the opportunities (or lack there of) that I'm seeing for what I do (I'd be happy with anything still in marketing, honestly).
Here are my primary concerns:
Will I need to move back east before I'm able to properly apply and interview for jobs? This would require me to quit my current job, which I'm told is a no-no, but not doing so could make moving back difficult logistically.
I'd like to get a pay-bump since I've been making roughly the same amount my whole career (went from 45k to 46k ..yippee..) is this realistic given my somewhat light experience and the more competitive market? Is what I make *now* even realistic?
How do I even *find* a job? Am I using the right resources? Are recruiters a good option? I should mention I had a tough time finding a job out of college, as many do, and am pretty freaked out by the prospect of having to search again.
Basically, any tips, tricks and resources you guys have to make finding a new job 1000+ miles from where I presently live and work a little easier, would be HUGE. | content marketing specialist in dallas making $48k. want to be one in philly or baltimore making the same or a little more. HOW?! |
t3_1hi2z0 | tifu | TIFU by getting menthol in my ass | I'm a web app developer, so most of my time involves sitting in one spot and typing all day. I also occasionally like to go commando, which, combined with the whole sitting in one spot thing, can lead to a gnarly case of monkey butt.
Enter Goldbond.
For those who don't know, Goldbond is a body powder that chills the skin it's applied to. Gentlemen, if you haven't tried Goldbond, go and buy some. It feels like little elves blowing on your junk. I apply it liberally each morning, and it gives me a nice cool feeling for the first hour of the day, and keeps me from chafing or getting too sweaty for the rest of it.
See, Goldbond's magic ingredient is menthol. This is important later.
I hop out of the shower, towel off, deodorize/apply cologne, and put a couple of puffs of Goldbond over my crotchal region. I feel the pleasantly icy wave wash over my balls. I decide to make an offering to the porcelain gods before I go get dressed. I do my business, and I'm wiping.
It should be noted hear that I am a hyper-zealous wiper - I haven't graduated to baby wipes yet, but I attack my rear like I'm doing a forensic cleaning.
So I finish, flush, and go get dressed. That's when I notice an odd feeling in my butt. *I had wiped copious amounts of Goldbond into my ass. The mentholated, icy goodness was now stabbing in my asshole.*
I was running late for the bus so I didn't have time to go and try to wipe it off, so here I am in the bus with my comfortable, cool junk taunting me as my asshole burns/freezes oh-so-painfully. I'm not looking forward to seeing how long this lasts. >.< | I wipe mentholated Goldbond up my asshole; the normal cool-breeze elves become angry, icicle-stabby elves. |
t3_1frut0 | dating_advice | I'm 24M, 27F flakes one day before the date. Pursue? | Now the link above is the first time I posted on reddit regarding this issue.
I've kept contact with her on a really low level. To show that I was being cool about asking her out. But the last text I sent her on Wednesday I sent her was a little flirty, and she replied that she digs that and will see me this Friday.
So here I am Thursday, two weeks later, just as we both planned, and just the day before the date, she sent a message.
"Hi forest, sorry but I just went to the doctor and currently on two days sick leave. I will have to take a rain check for tomorrow"
I answered (and this is spontaneous, without strategy or what not)
"I'm feeling sick as well, but nothing like a good night's sleep wouldn't cure. Guess I shouldn't have ran in the rain yesterday. Was especially cold last evening.
Get well soon anyway."
I really did go for an 8 km run in the rain yesterday, and it was especially cold.
And she answered, "Thanks. You too. Take care"
So yeah, she flaked without suggesting a make-up date. That pretty much shows how much her interest level is.
I believe we had good chemistry the first time we met, but should I even consider to contact her again for another date? (I do slightly fancy her still...)
Or should I just move on, and forget about it? (which I will probably do)
Or should I just move on, forget about it, and also informs her how disrespectful she is to me for flaking the day before the date without counter-offering a make-up date and also state, "Your loss" (Really want to rub this in her face...so to speak) | We agreed on the date, she flaked by texting she's sick the day before the date. What to do? |
t3_3ggtkr | relationships | Me [32 M] told my crush [26 F] that I was interested, was told she wasn't "looking for anything" | I'm staying at a hostel and meet a few people who are staying here long term. I've been hanging out with them for about two months. Among them is one girl I've had a crush on almost since I met her, call her Jessie. I'd heard that, at one point she'd told one of our group that she liked him and was told he wasn't interested, a few days later they got drink and slept together. This was several weeks before I met everyone.
I tend to be really slow with these things and it took me until last week to even decide to make my feelings known. I had already decided to do it when I discovered that a rumor had started that I liked her (spread by one of my best friends in the group, fair enough I'd gossiped about him a bit, so I feel that's fair). I was a tad worried she'd find out from someone else so I used that as an added incentive). It took me a few days (and a short prepared speech) but I finally did it.
My speech was supposed to go something like this< "You may have heard a rumor going around that I'm interested in you, the fact is it's true. I find you funny and cute and I'd like a chance to go out with you and get to know you better." Unfortunately her perplexed look, combined with my existing anxiety about the whole thing, made me forget the second sentence.
She was initially taken aback as it wasn't something she was expecting (obviously I need to work on my flirting game, among other things). Her response was that she wasn't "looking for anything right now". I keep trying to tell myself that this was her way of saying "never in a million years", however some annoyingly persistent part keeps telling me that I just have to convince her I'm worth the effort.
What can I do at this point, either to get her out of my mind, or to get her to agree to give me a chance? | met girl, got a crush on her, took several weeks to tell her just was interested, was let down, unsure what to do next. |
t3_fy5m7 | jobs | Does anyone have tips on how to handle salary negotiations? I think I'm screwed. | How do you deal with salary offers when you've accidentally low-balled yourself? I feel I've made a mistake already regarding salary and my first interview with this company isn't for another week (in other words - no offer or formal salary talks yet). I am *terrible* at this stuff.
Just as an FYI, I have a B.Sc., a year and a half of graduate training (no degree), and 2 years of experience in my field through internships. I'm applying for entry level positions - (my first real grown up job).
When someone from the company called me, they asked me what my desired salary range was - I said $35-40,000. Their response was that since it was an entry level position, it would probably be on the lower end of that range. They asked if that was okay, I said something like 'I'm sure we can work something out.'
They had me fill out a second application that asked for desired salary - I wrote 38,000. And this is where I'm sure I've messed up. I was afraid of being auto-rejected with a high salary requirement and I didn't actually take researching potential salaries seriously until after talking to the company.
Glassdoor lists salaries of equivalent positions in this company as having an 'anonymous salary range' of $40,000-45,000.
Payscale lists the mean salary of this position in this company as $41,000.
Salary's free calculator lists the average salary of a position this region at $40,000.
In addition to my previous question, how much should I trust these over the company? Have I already messed up (i.e. there's no way I'm getting 40,000 now even if I get the job)? Should I get a higher salary since I have a year a half of graduate training in the same field (especially since I was told it was an entry level position)? How in the heck do I address this at my interview? | Told potential employer range of salary I was expecting only to find out afterwards I lowballed myself several grand. Haven't had first interview yet. Any advice on what to do/say to fix my mess? |
t3_2ydele | tifu | TIFU by inviting crush to best friend's place | Never posted here before, but thought this might be a good enough story to share. This happened a few days ago.
Being an English writing major, my midterms consisted of a ton of essays, writing pieces, and one-on-one conferences with my professors during "hell week," in which everyone else had exams. So with all that free time, my best friend (let's call him Jeremy), who was also done with classes, decided to spend the rest of hell week in his apartment, off-campus, going all out with "college activities," smoking, toking, drinking grownup drinks, watching Netflix, playing video games (league!), etc.
The one day we decided to go outside for lunch and eat Chipotle, I spotted my crush (she'll be called Liz) sitting at a table munching away at a burrito. I introduced the two of them and told her about our epic bonding session at Jeremy's. She left, and we ate our own burritos. Later that day, I got a text from Liz asking if she could stay at Jeremy's place that night since it was just a couple blocks away from the bakery she works at and she needed to get there early the next day. Everyone agreed that it'd be a fun idea and we could have our own mini party.
Fast forward to much later that night, Liz was long gone and already passed out on one of the two beds. Jeremy and I decided to keep watching House of Cards until we crashed too. We migrated over to the other bed and started dozing off in the middle of the current episode. Before we fell asleep, I told Jeremy that I'd sleep next to Liz, since she was in a bed for two, and we were scrunched together on a single air mattress. He nodded and turned over while I snuggled up next to Liz as she heedlessly played the little spoon.
I woke up to Jeremy plowing Liz right next to me. As I groggily said "fuck you," realizing what was going on, he responded with an a-okay hand sign. | Invited my crush to party with me and my friend at his place and woke up next to a love session excluding me. |
t3_3hcjvk | relationships | I [F22] am a virgin and want to wait until marriage to have sex with my bf [M23]. I recently decided I don't want to do oral sex either, my bf is upset. What can we do? | My boyfriend of 6 months is a great guy. I actually have no how I managed to end up with him. He's handsome, successful and quite experienced with girls.
When we first started dating I told him I wanted to wait until I was ready for sex, thinking he'd break up with me. To my surprise...this stud was completely okay with it. Maybe he saw something in me.
A few months later I ended up deciding I wanted to wait until marriage. He was a little bummed out, understandably, but he seemed okay with it. I promised him we'd do other things to make up for it ;)
Fast forward to now, I'm kind of weirded out by oral sex. Its just weird thinking about going down on someone else's genitals. Maybe it's because I'm inexperienced but I don't like it much. I've decided I don't want to do it until I'm more ready for it.
I've communicated this to my bf and of course, he's not thrilled. We're trying to come up with a compromise but can't seem to settle on something fair. I'm scared he might leave me and say its not worth it anymore. He said he doesn't want to pressure me at all into anything, said he wouldn't enjoy it if I didn't want to give it.
I'd like to think that if he loved me enough he'd be happy to just be with me. | am virgin, don't want sex or oral sex until marriage. Boyfriend is bummed. What is a good compromise? |
t3_gn94k | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I've been having problems with mysterious bug bites for months now. Help with identification? | So, I live in an apartment with three roommates. I moved in at the beginning of January, and since moving in I have received dozens of strange bug bites while I sleep. However, in attempting to identify the culprits, I have been unsuccessful. Here's the situation:
* No one else in my apartment has gotten any bites. My roommates and I regularly cuddle and there has been no cross-contamination.
* I was treated for scabies and took the necessary preventative measures to stop a relapse, but this was ineffective.
* I switched out my mattress and my bed frame for completely new ones and have washed my sheets and blankets several times.
* I have checked around the room for signs of bugs, but nothing has proved fruitful. I have seen no spiders, fleas, or mosquitos in all my time here.
* I had a service come in and check for bed-bugs, and they couldn't find any.
* When I visited my family for a week at home, I didn't receive any new bites, so whatever it is is definitely in the room.
* Most of my bites appear on my arms and hands, if that is helpful...? Some on my feet and back as well.
So, what remains is this: Some sort of bug that is living in the room and does not spread easily. Advice? Similar stories? I'm getting pretty desperate here: I'm really tired of being itchy. | Mysterious bug bites have been appearing on my body for months. Unable to find source or identify the type of bug. Help please? |
t3_28yvjt | relationships | I (28M) have trouble allowing people to be wrong. What do I do? | A recent breakup has caused me to re-evaluate myself and my approach to situations. I'm a very mindful person, and one could say I have a preoccupation with observing my own mental processes.
In all of my friend circles, I am quickly established as 'that guy': "Hey, wealljustthrowaways, you're smart. How do they know what a planet is made of from lightyears away?" People know if I don't know an answer, I at least know where to find it and can usually absorb, then explain the answer in a digestable way.
Sometimes this can turn derisive with people 'trolling' me or finding it amusing on some level to ask a question and watch me either fight the urge to launch into a thesis discussion, or to pointedly keep their 'responses' dumbed down to see if they can get me to give up.
The worst way, and the one that causes me the most grief, is that it turns people off. I'm told I need to find 'smarter' friends, but I've found this happens with most groups I come across. When it comes to very subjective matters I have an overwhelming compulsion to test and evaluate people's information. Even if I agree with their conclusion, I feel like if they reach it for incorrect reasons, the conclusion is invalid and I have to fight the urge to 'educate' or 'correct' them.
None of these sides are meant to be agressive or condescending. It's literally a reflex to start spewing informaiton. If someone asserts that gravity works because distant stars and planets are pushing us away from them, holding us to Earth due to some odd solar wind, I nearly chip my teeth fighting to launch into an explanation of our current understanding of gravity.
This compulsion has been a recurring themes in romantic breakups, many of my friendships, and relationships with family. People either learn to appreciate my regurgitation, or excommunicate me from their lives. | I compulsively regurgitate information, alienating friends and significant others. I don't know how to fight the compulsion to provide information. |
t3_23kfl5 | relationships | My [25f] boyfriend [24m] plays so many video games how do I get him to curb it? | My boyfriend of 2 years is the most wonderful guy in the world so thoughtful caring and loyal. I can tell him anything and be myself around him. He fixes things around our house and is so sweet to our dog.
He suffers from bi polar and it really makes him depressed. Video games have always been an escape for him and make him extremely happy. The problem is, he does it to excess. He usually plays 6 hours a night sometimes more. When I go out of town hell play them for 12 hours a day. He has a job that he excels at so it's not hurting his life or anything. When he plays them it's really hard to talk to him because he has headphones on. I mostly just keep myself entertained on my computer. I think this is really excessive.
How do I tell him to play less even though its the thing he really loves? Or am I overreacting? | my bf plays anywhere from 4-8 hours of video games every night. How do I get him to lessen it even though video games make him so happy? |
t3_2onq47 | relationships | Me [27M] with my new roommate [27F] Tension between us and I don't know my way out | Last summer I met this girl at a work event and we hit it off well. There was an initial flirty period, but nothing ever came of it. Eventually we become friends. We stay in contact and talk regularly
A few months later I get transferred to the city she lives in for work. Coincidentally, one of her roommates had just moved out and they offer me the room.
At first everything is great. We get along well and live around each other quite amiably. Our friendship grows as we bond over many nights chatting on the couch. This girl is now my best friend.
Then, suddenly, she starts being weird. Barely leaves her room. Always sits at the far end of the room from me. And always excuses herself away from plans I'd try to make. Meanwhile, she regularly asks me into her plans.
We went out for drinks one night and when we got back home had a long, drunk conversation about relationships and what we look for in them. She practically describes me as someone shes interested in. This thought spins around in my head for a few days and I come to the conclusion that I kind of do like her and feel that she feels the same.
One night, before we were about to head to bed, I'm overwhelmed by the notion of kissing her and went for it. Big mistake... She doesn't reciprocate and I turn away, ashamed. The next day I apologize and she says it was awkward but we're cool. Apparently not.
Ever since she cycles from being friendly to snapping at me every other day. One day we're cool, the next everything I do annoys her.
Last night, after she flaked on plans we had made I came home and told her we needed to talk. She continued her phone conversation and ignored me.
Now I'm sitting in the living room, waiting for her to come out of her room to attempt this talk. I still don't know what to say or what my goal is.
How do I make this right? We cant continue to ignore the issue. | Met a girl who i became good friends with. We become roommates. I stupidly tried to kiss her. Now we're weird and she doesn't want to talk. How do I save this? |
t3_4xwfkc | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend's [23M] ex-girlfriend is still in contact with his family as their Avon consultant | Before we began dating, my boyfriend dated a girl for about 4 months. He ended things with her because he didn't love her and he didn't see a future with her. We started dating about two months later.
When they began dating, his ex became the Avon consultant for his mom and sister. She still texts them all and tells them they're like her family and she often texts my boyfriend. He's shown me her messages and it's almost like she expects him and his family to still talk to her out of pity. Furthermore, it's as if she uses the Avon gig to start conversations with them and visit their house.
By this point, they've been broken up longer than they were together, so I don't understand why she is still contacting the entire family, inviting them to events, etc.
Is this weird or am I just making it out to be weirder than it actually is? | boyfriend's ex is his mom and sister's Avon consultant and uses this as an excuse to talk to them. Is this something that I'm justified in worrying about or should I let it go? |
t3_4id3ek | legaladvice | Seller of new mobile home lied/denied damages during transport | My Mother purchased a new mobile home recently. Home was delivered to the home site on Monday May 2nd and it was discovered on Friday the 6th that the home had been damaged during transport. One of the tires blew and came off the rim causing it to bounce several times between the road and the home. Upon seeing the damage, she called the Seller and asked if there was something they wanted to tell her. Seller repeatedly stated 'No' until finally saying that yes, there was an incident while transporting, but that damage was minimal and didn't amount to much more than a few nails being driven up through the dining room floor.
The 1 worker who was at the home when she went to check it out Friday repeatedly tried to stop her from entering. I wish I had been with her so pictures would have been taken. But you can tell the home is bowed in along one side.
She is calling a family lawyer again Monday, hopefully they will be available, and also there's some kind of Manufactured Housing Agency that's listed along with all the paperwork. It appears they oversee that the homes are built and setup to Federal guidelines so she's contacting them also on Monday.
The manager of the company she purchased the home from wants to meet anytime on Monday at the site of the home.
Any ideas on what she should do? Is there another agency she could contact that would help? Seller is located in Ohio and the home and Buyer reside in WV. Although they are only separated by the Ohio River, so both are located within a 15min drive of each other. | Mother bought new home that was damaged during transport. Seller failed to notify buyer and repeatedly denied any serious damage was done. |
t3_15gx22 | AskReddit | Who else had a miserable Christmas? | Mine started with my wife kneeing me in the shins while we were both asleep Christmas morning. Like any normal person I yelled in pain along with a couple curse words, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
Later I got up and was given a cold shoulder by her after my workout because apparently she thought MY reaction to getting kneed in the shins was inappropriate and expected an apology. Naturally I found this quite ridiculous and absurd. Which led to a fight. Which led to her telling me to stay home while she went to her sister's (as planned) that day for brunch and sledding. Later she would send an apology text (a text? really?) asking if I'd join them.
I could've went, but was pretty hurt and angry at the entire thing, so I decided to stay home. The only good part was finishing season 2 of The Walking Dead on netflix.
After arriving home that night, she stands by her assessment of my reaction. In other words, the one doing the kicking was more upset about the incident than the one that got kicked. | began the morning with a knee to the shins by sleeping wife, criticized for my reaction, told to stay home alone on Christmas, then received a weak apology text a couple hours later. Watched zombies. |
t3_114lb2 | relationship_advice | I need help with this other guy | Okay, let me start off by saying that I'm not even sure if this belongs in this subreddit. It has to do with my relationship, but with a third party trying to intrude.
Me (19, m) and my girlfriend, (18) have been dating for about a year and a half. Last year when we were both in high school, we took a break from each other about a month before prom. I promised her that I'd still be her date and so on. However, one of my "friends" thought it'd be a good idea to ask her out to prom after he heard that we weren't technically together, even after I told him we'd still be going as friends. This was about a year ago. Fast forward to just recently, I hear that he straight up doesn't like me any more. However, he still wants to stick his dick in my girlfriend, who has told me, and her friends that she isn't interested in him. And just today, I heard that he was talking about her, saying how sexy she is, how big her boobs are, how much he'd love to fuck her, etc. How do I end this? It's getting to the point that whenever I hear his name I just get angry. Is this something I shouldn't even care about, or what? Someone please direct me down the right path. | Guy tried to ask my girlfriend to prom last year when we weren't dating. She's clearly not interested and never was. He talks about how much he wants to fuck her to this day. |
t3_2ifr05 | relationships | This Might Possibly be the dumbest thing posted here but.... (M/19 F/18) | All right so here goes nothing
We've been dating for a month now, so we're pretty much still acquaintances at this point. Anyways we're talking about our (sexual) history and basically while all my buddies were chasing girls in high school I was just playing music so I don't have any history with a girlfriend(s) or anything like that. But according to her I'm nailing the whole boyfriend thing.
The thing is though, she's been with two guys before me, which I know isn't supposed to bother me if I truly like her and all that stuff, but it does. And here's the kicker... not that it matters that the one guy was black (but it totally does). Even if it's just buying into stupid stereotypes it's still pretty fuckin intimidating to have to follow that act you know, like I just get the feeling that no matter what I do at this point I'll be maximum the second best lay she'll ever have.
Now that's a pretty depressing thought, and now I can't even get it up to be intimate with her, so what should I do here break up with her and save her to the trouble of dating this neurotic mess of a person, or try and explain this whole shit show of feelings I have.
The thing is too all through out high school I dreamed of meeting my dream girl, and she's about as close as it gets to being my dream without me actually falling asleep, feelings are pretty much mutual with her. So obviously I'm the problem here, which is why I'm reaching out for some answers.
Any advice is appreciated, even if it's just telling me to stop being such a neurotic asshole. | Basically virgin before I met my girlfriend she's been with two guys before me, not really comfortable with the imbalance of partners. |
t3_gs2bi | relationships | Friend changes dinner plans without telling reason. | I recieved a text from one of the two friends I would to make dinner together with, whom which we had planned and prepared everything for a week, today texting only:
"Could we have the dinner later this week?". Low on cash I awaited the call as I wanted to know why.
Then I said couldn't you have included the reason to why you want to move it in the text? I mean we have planned this for a week.
She answered that it shouldn't matter why and that i only should have answered yes or no immediately to the text.
I tried to say it's only courteously to say why.
She continued to push her point and i said just fuck it and went silent.
Continuing her point then to say: "I don't want to have this arguement now bye!" as I no longer responded to her.
Later texting me how tired she is about me not talking to her and that I am immature and silly. | Friend doesn't give reason to why she want to post-pone planned dinner and think it shouldn't matter why. |
t3_129i1m | relationships | unsure where our relationship is headed, are we doomed [M17/F17] | Hey Reddit,
So, ive been in a long distance relationship with this girl for close to 8 months now and when we first started dating everything seemed so magical and perfect we just had this spark so to speak. however lately as of the past 2-3 months i feel like our relationship has declined and declined, i feel less and less enthusiastic to talk to her, our chats seem repetitive, when were away from each other i don't miss her anywhere near as much as i used to (she used to be the only person on my mind). this all only started to feel this way when she said she needed some more time to herself to hang out with friends ect. this was fine by me, however i rarely see her now. I some times feel like i hardly know her, or if i love her anymore. we have tried to fix things lately but i just don't know if its working, i think i do love her, shes the only girl i have ever felt this strongly about,.... but i don't know if its the case anymore and that's the problem. am i still with her because i love her, or am i with her still because i "think" i love her or that im afraid ill break her heart. it really pains me to think this way cause she is the first girl i have ever thought about having a future with, you know the 2 kids large house and marriage. its not the distance that is bothering me either, im handling that fine, better then her even, its just i feel like im loosing that spark i once had towards her.... and i dont know why. | I feel like my gf and i are splitting appart and i dont know if i still have the spark i once had towards her, are we doomed? |
t3_4pv3gk | relationships | GF (24F) left me (26M) two weeks ago, having trouble dealing with lonliness and independence after 5 years of codependence | To make a long story short: I got blindsided by her leaving, she left me with all the bills to pay, all the pets to take care of, and a huge hole in my chest.
I'm still not over it just yet, but I've taken the right steps on the road to recovery so far... seeing family very often, but I'm afraid I haven't kept up with any 'friends' over the past 5 years.
The biggest hurdle I am facing right now is lonliness. I spent so many years of my life happy to be a part of something bigger than me, but it was taken away from me. It feels pathetic but I really don't know how to keep myself happy and independent. What can I do to alleviate this problem? The last thing I want to do after all this is get stuck in my head for days at a time. | Thought I had a partner for the rest of my life. I was wrong. Need help coping with sudden lonliness. |
t3_34cwdd | Advice | What is a good original or unpopular poem that I can use to declare my love for a girl I have liked for a month? | Background: I am a 15 almost 16 year old man. I've had a crush on this very beautiful woman the same age as me for about a month. I do talk to her in person and she appreciates the fact I don't fear talking to women. She told me specifically, "If any guy were to be thoughtful enough to write me a poem declaring their love, I'd fall in love with them immediately!" This girl in particular has never had a boyfriend because most guys at my school are either unattractive hygiencally or just flat out rude to women. She knows I like her. A lot. I honestly think if I were to do something thoughtful like a poem, she'd love me instantly. **YOUR JOB** or advice I want is to give me a poem about declaring love to a woman. Try to keep the poems original for obvious reasons. I really think this would work well. I understand if I get hate for not coming up with my own but me and poetry do not mix well. I will give credit to the person whose poem I use and update you guys based on what she says when I read the poem to her. | I need an original poem to read to a high school crush that I've been talking to for about a month. I will give credit to the person that gives me a poem that I will use. |
t3_z97a6 | relationships | Gradually escalating domestic violence...need help (male) | I (M23) am engaged to my fiancee (F23) and have a wedding scheduled and largely paid for, for next year. 99% of the time, we are ecstatic together and really do feel like soulmates, if such a thing were to exist. In the public eye, our friends and family think we are "the perfect couple."
However, from time to time, usually triggered by a random event (such as car trouble, friends being irritating, etc) she absolutely explodes on me. She won't stop yelling, and even if I go completely passive and docile it just continues. She starts stomping her feet and making as much noise as possible, which stresses me out since we live in an apartment complex with poor soundproofing. And lately, she has begun hitting me.
I am a multisport athlete and strong enough to absolutely toy with her when she tries to hurt me, but her persistence with it results in me often being injured. First it was a smack, then a punch, then a bite, and over about a half dozen instances it has escalated to where I needed to hold her down, pin her with my body, and hold her head to the floor until she stops struggling, since letting her go would result in her attacking me nonstop. Doing this makes me really uncomfortable, naturally, since I never would like to use force with my S/O.
The last two times this has happened, I now hit back. I've somehow crossed that boundary where I never though I would, and it got easier the second time. I am absolutely terrified at the trajectory of all of this...and need some advice what to do.
We are, again, amazing together 99% of the time, and just have had a few fights that got ugly like this in the past 2 years. I really don't want us breaking up to be the only suggestion, but I am at wit's end. | Fiancee loses control in fights and uses violence, and it has desensitized me to the point where I fire back now. What do I do to break this cycle? |
t3_262nxs | relationships | I [18 M] think my brother [14 M] is an asshole, and has been so for the last two to three years. | My parents don't realize my younger brother is a shit. He constantly berates me and my parents for no reason, calling them and me "fucking pieces of shit" or similar names constantly, and they brush it off as "a product of his personality."
I just can't see how they could possibly consider that personality to be healthy at all. He is emotionally draining to be around, constantly argues about unimportant stuff, and has trouble keeping friendships because he's so annoying to be around.
This has been going on for the last two or three years, and my parents always fail to blame him for his problems.
He **never** gets punished for all the shit he says and does.
How can I overcome this bullshit?
I've tried ignoring him, to no avail. He just keeps pestering me. Many times he tells me to kill myself, or that he wishes I were dead, but my parents never hear him say it. | My brother is an immature, sailor-mouthed, emotionally imbalanced individual, and has been so for the last few years. How do I overcome this relationship, whether by ignoring him, or else? |
t3_hsmew | AskReddit | Need your help, reddit. My school district has a policy that is anti-homophobia; but a Christian parents group is trying to abolish it. | I'm a student in Western BC Canada. My school district basically has this policy called 5.45 which is:
*"TO ENSURE THAT ALL MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY LEARN TO WORK TOGETHER IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF RESPECT AND SAFETY, FREE FROM HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA, ANTIGAY HARASSMENT AND/OR EXCLUSION REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR GENDER IDENTITY, THE BOARD OF EDUCATION WILL ADOPT APPROPRIATE ADMINISTRATIVE REGULATIONS AND STRATEGIES THAT PROMOTE RESPECT FOR HUMAN RIGHTS, SUPPORT DIVERSITY, AND ADDRESS DISCRIMINATION."*
No harm in that, right? Apparently, according to a Christian-Chinese organization, it is not okay. They want it to be abolished, and these are their reasons:
- School should not teach morals.
- Students want education, not politics.
- We should not be singling out a specific group, and giving them a specific policy to protect them.
- Most cases of bullying are not homophobic bullying.
- School is labeling children and making them question their sexual identity.
We (students) believe LGBTQ's are targeted in bullying; thus this policy is made to protect them. Simple.
They are protesting to have the policy removed. We are protesting to save it. I was the one who organized it, and I was given the opportunity to speak at the meeting of the school board; I would really appreciate any kind of help or advice on what I can say or do. Any opinions or comments I will consider.
Please keep in mind that I'm preparing a speech, not a debate. | Christians want to get rid of a policy that ensures the rights and safety of LGBTQ community, would really appreciate some opinions and comments to help write my speech. |
t3_1x4ek7 | relationships | I [24F] am divorcing my husband [25M] of one month… I need help. I'm homkess starving etc and no aid because I'm married for six months cause California law. What can I do? | It was a mistake. I have no income. I have no way to work because I have zero money to go anywhere and my current living arrangement ends late march. I might be evicted cause i cannot make rent. We'll see.
I have enough groceries to last me till mid march since I'm eating very little. Like today I'm not eating at all.
My husband will not help me, so I'm getting divorced. But it takes six months because of Californian laws. What can I do? I qualify for no aid.
I have no family. I have no friends.
Also my husband is fighting the divorce. He wants to save face and not disrespect his family and culture. | getting divorced. No income. Unable to get aid while married. Unable to divorce for six months. What can I do till my divorce is finalized? How can I survive? |
t3_qmk5z | relationship_advice | Boyfriend needs job. I've done all I can to help. | I'm 17 [f] and he's 20 [m]. We've been together close to two years, and we're happy for the most part. But he still lives with his parents.
Lately, he's been complaining about wanting to find a job, and I've tried staying optimistic. Every place in my town drug tests, and he smokes marijuana on a daily basis... And then he complains about not being able to get a job. Everytime he does it, he says it's the last time. It never is. And I've tried to get him to quit.
His parents have given him until the end of the month to find a job and start doing something or else he's getting kicked out. I give every place I go his number and name, hoping they'll call, but even if they do, he can't pass a drug screen. | Boyfriend has an issue saying "no" marijuana, but complains about not being able to get a job. What should I do, if anything? |
t3_2mt988 | relationships | Me [26M] about to get a drink in an hour with my [26F] ex of 2 months. What do I do? | We dated for about two months, everything felt amazing but I sensed things were going a bit slower than they should. Eventually we talked one night at her place where I brought up my concerns. She was receptive at the time but a few days later told me she felt like she can't date right now and that she's got an emotional block that she needs to work out related to her last relationship. She's going to therapy now and wants to remain friends with the intent that we potentially date again when she gets herself squared away. Since then it's been about three weeks which have been utter hell. We've talked about things a few times and it feels like I'm slowly pushing her away.
Finally we decided to try and grab dinner or a drink to just chat as friends without bringing up all the relationship drama, which she says sounds nice. We had to make a few rain dates because of work and such, but she's coming home now and we're going to go out to grab tea in about an hour.
I'm super nervous. I genuinely think this girl may be the "right one" for me and I want to try and salvage some of this emotional damage I've done to us. Obviously I'm not going to mention any of this underlying stuff and keep things light, but if anyone has any helpful tidbits of advice out there, I would really appreciate it! | ex and I are on a break while she figures herself out, grabbing tea soon and trying to figure out how to mend some of the damage I did to us since we broke up |
t3_3zl1vl | relationships | How can I (21/m) tell her (21/f) I like her without getting nervous? | So there is this girl that has a crush on me and I have a crush on her but the thing is that no matter how hard I try to tell her I just get nervous and just chicken out. Today I was at her house just me and her in her room and we were just watching a movie and I wanted to tell her so bad that I liked her but when I looked at her and she looked at me I don't know I couldn't say anything. I'm going to see her again tomorrow and I really want to tell her but I'm just so nervous and don't know what to do. Can someone give me some tips. | I want to tell her that I like her but I get nervous and I just chicken out. Just need advice on how can I stop getting nervous or at least what can I say to her. |
t3_2f5c64 | relationships | My [17/M] parents [40/F] [56/M] fight a lot and can't act like adults. I found this earlier. What should I do? | Some background info: We just moved into a $400,000 house that my parents (mom and step-dad) bought using quite a bit of my step-dad's retirement fund. They have been married for about 3 years and were together for 8 years before that. My mom and older brother [21/M] get into arguments constantly. Neither of them can act like adults and have a normal conversation without yelling at each other. My step-dad is obsessed with going to the gym and working out and takes A LOT of supplements and has all kinds of powders; the relevancy will become apparent later on.
So, onto the issue at hand. After my step-dad went to bed my mom went into the office. I paid no attention to it at first. Later, I had to print some papers for school and when I went to get them off the printer I saw a note sitting in front of my step-dads computer. The note reads "Every time Mark calls you jump? What are you his fucking BITCH? I am sick of all this shit.... Woodys [a bar both he and my mom often go to] especially!!! Give it up or prepare to live your own life and I will make my own plans and live mine. This is not a "marriage". You choose the bar + I am home alone...."
This kind of thing actually happens quite often. They yell and tell each other to leave. Neither of them do. One of them sleeps on the couch for a few days. Everything is back to normal until the next fight. As of now I have taken the note and have it in my room because placing it there was incredibly childish of my mom. Was this the right move?
I also looked inside of my step-dad's desk and found some insulin syringes, as far as I know he doesn't have diabetes and I'm pretty sure these syringes came in the mail. The other thing I found was bacterostatic water. I'm not really sure what it is but I think it's just sterile water. | My mom and step-dad fight a lot. I found a note my mom left for him. What should I do with it? Also, I think my step-dad may be using illegal drugs. |
t3_1t1c5g | relationships | Me [17M] with my ex-girlfriend [17F] of a little bit over a year started talking again after 7 months. | I broke up with my girlfriend last year, because I felt like she was
holding me back from enjoying my youth. Boy was I wrong... Anyways,
we've started talking again. She's dated while we've been separated,
but it was nothing serious. After seeing her again after being
separated for months, I realized how much we've both grown and
matured. I think you all know what I'm trying to get at here.
Basically, I want to get back together with this girl. She's the most
understanding, caring, down-to-earth girl I know. I think what we both
needed was time apart.
Is there any way I can show her that I mean business when I tell her
that I want to get back together? | I want to get back with my ex-girlfriend of a year after being apart for 7 months. How do I show her I'm serious? |
t3_1h75oh | offmychest | Irrational feelings? | I broke up with you because I found out I was pregnant. I knew that I couldn't support a child, and my lifestyle spelled nothing but trouble for that baby. I pushed you away because I didn't think it was fair that you had to deal with such a heavy burden. I loved you so much, I didn't want you to face the pain that I was and I didn't think you'd stick with me in the end anyway.
At the clinic, the technician did the ultrasound to date the pregnancy and confirm that I could undergo the procedure. I foolishly asked to see the baby, out of respect for the life I would end shortly... I never expected to see two fluttering heartbeats on that screen. I have never cried so hard. Felt so numb. Hurt so deeply.
While I was in the darkest part of my life, you were hooking up with some chick. Smiling, laughing, kissing, you had nothing but happiness. I wanted to end my life and you were living yours up. A few weeks passed and I was able to start the healing process, we started talking again.
I discovered that you had wanted to be there for me, to support me and hold my head above water while I felt like I was drowning. You brought me flowers on Valentines day. You made me feel better and you talked to me about my problems. I realized that I wanted you in my life and I worked very hard to fix our relationship.
Yesterday I found out that you had hooked up with that girl a week before we started dating again, despite the fact that you had made me believe that you only had feelings for me. And so I say, you suck. I can think of a million other things to say to you, but you really fucked my brain up on that one. Especially since I caught you dirty talking her AFTER we were officially together.
I don't know if I want to hold on now. I want to let go. I've lost faith. | Broke up because of a life changing event, got back together against the odds, found out it wasn't as commited as I had thought. |
t3_3cexrm | relationships | I'm (27F) jealous of the perks of my SO's (32M) job even though I know it's destructive to our relationship | I (27F) have been with my SO (32M) for 15 months and we live together.
I work in social care: the pay is low and I don't ever take a lunch break, my colleagues rarely socialise after work and there is no budget so work social events, but I love knowing I'm making a difference to people's lives.
My SO works in marketing and earns significantly more than me. His company provide him with a phone, tablet, and they often socialise after work paid for by the manager. On top of this they now have Friday afternoons off work for the summer without having to make up the hours or losing pay.
Despite trying very hard I am starting to feel jealous of this.
I am trying to focus on why I do what I do and not let what he does effect me but I'm finding this hard.
I think my jealousy is underpinned by the following: I recently discovered my SO puts in savings more than I earn a month. However we split all our rent and bills and holidays completely 50:50.
I don't wish to communicate this with him because I know I make my choices and my own money and no one owes me anything, I just wondered if anyone has the same experience or advise about jealousy. | my SO gets loads of perks with his job but I chose to work in social care where the opposite is true. How do I deal with my jealousy |
t3_ui17y | offmychest | A rant | my almost middle aged sister and her son has moved into our house and said she would stay in the built in two story studio with a living room, small kitchen, and bedroom. now she has stopped staying in the studio and is now sleeping in my mothers bedroom sleeping in her bed. when my nephew comes over he has to stay there too.she has turned a nice living space into a storage room for old toys and a space to put her untrained dogs. she is a manager in training at a restaurant and doesn't make much, but she doesn't have to pay for electricity,water, internet, or TV and she still doesn't pay for rent witch is bullshit, because my other sister has to pay and I will when I start working. I got some money from my grand mother and thought it would be rad if i got the Orange Box for my nephew and I. I told her about it and asked her if i can move the Xbox from the cluttered, dog piss smelling, studio, that nobody would want to play Xbox in, in to the main houses living room. she said she would have to ask my nephew first. WHO WOULD WANT TO PLAY ANYTHING IN THERE!? she just wants to be a controlling bitch. | my unreasonable sister wont let me move a xbox from a cluttered piss smelling room in to a clean living room to play half life and portal with my 10 year old nephew. |
t3_1o1u5v | relationships | [18 M] with my Ex [17 F], I Want her to Apologize | She and I haven't been talking for about five or six months now. This month is the one year anniversary of our break up and I want an apology. The problem was her not giving enough affection and appreciation, not only that, but avoiding why she wanted to break up. Her excuse was school work getting hard and it's pretty much "filling up her time with me." I thought this was false and stupid, I knew enough that she is a smart learning woman who can tackle problems fairly quickly and she plans almost everything. When I went back to her one week after the break up, I told her, "If it's anything I can deal with it." but I saw a look of disgusted and unsatisfied, as if she ate dog shit. I talked to her friend and she told me, "I'm a great boyfriend..." and I wanted to punched someone (luckily I was doing wrestling) but my first thought was, "Then WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME?!" At this point I was sad and tired of her and I stop talking to everyone I knew.
**Six Monthes Later** I start talking to her, (Yeah dumbass idea) I see she gets a boyfriend of a cool dude I know, now I hate him. The more annoying part is they're dating *in the same school year!* I'm getting so bottled up, I talked to her closest friend and I tell her everything I feel about her, also I think I still have a chance with her..... Anyway, we talked and then she convince me to letting her go, and I did. Until now, I feel she is almost out of my life, but she really hurt me. She left me in the cold October rain, with my hopes broken.
*Thank you for reading, a nice polite comment would satisfy me!
Gracias!! | Girl broke up with me, and I want an apology from her because she hurt my feelings and gave me a crap reason why she left me. |
t3_4zd114 | relationships | I [22M] have a crush on my best friend [22F] who's been in a relationship with [25M] for two years | Hello everyone, I'm feeling really awkward to post here but I really wanted external opinions/advice/thoughts..
So I know this girl since late 2013, but our frienship really started around 09/2015. I'd say she has been my best friend for a year now, didn't really had one before that anyway.
Six months ago I confessed about my romantically-inclined feelings to her, even though she's been with the same guy since 09/2014. She just laughed it off at first, then told me she didn't want our friendship to end (we go along very well, making the other laugh on a daily basis on our 60k+ messages long FB conversation). She didn't want to say that we'd be just friends forever either.
I was kind of confused by the situation I put myself in. After that one party where I saw them together again, I completely broke down and ran back home in tears, kicking & punching the walls. Stopped all conversations with her for about a week. Then got into the friendship again, like before.
I don't want her to be just my friend, neither do I want to jeopardize our friendship because of some drama I built up on my own because of overthinking stuff. I can't help to imagine possible scenarii when she complains to me about her boyfriend, about stuff he's not doing right etc.. Then I proceed to feel guilty.
At times I think she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and at other times I just can't even stand her presence and become angry. Should I do something ? If, yes, what would that be ? I really feel I can't move on in my life if I don't get a definitive answer from her, and that sucks. | My best friend for 1 year is also my crush. I confessed 6 months ago, situation hasn't evolved. I want to do something and I need advice. |
t3_48pc01 | legaladvice | Illinois engineering + medical marijuana help | Hello redditors
i am a medical marijuana patient and a mechanical engineer. Been out of college 6 months now and i live in Illinois. I saw another post about an engineer who uses marijuana. it got me thinking about my own situation. I have peripheral neuropahy (nerve pain) going on two years. i'm in constant never ending pain of various degrees. I cannot go back to life without weed, it eases my suffering significantly. i struggle to complete every day because it hurts to sit or stand.
Basically, I'm in a huge legal grey area. The state of Illinois allows me to use weed but the federal government does not. Illinois does not not inhibit the enforcement of a zero tolerance rule by my company. However, it also says i cannot be discriminated against for my medical condition or treatments.
My companies drug policy state that "i cannot use an illegal drugs while i am an employee." But, what if weed is both illegal and legal at the same time from the perspective of the federal government and the state respectively. My company contracts with various government agencies also (aerospace and defense).
What i am concerned about, what if i suddenly get drug tested? they have the ability to fire me for partially violating the drug policy however, you can argue its illegal and legal at the same time. I would be majorly fucked if this happened and i would really struggle to get a job with a green card. I have a lot of credit card debt currently from shelling out for all my medical expenses and it would ruin me for years if i got fired today.
I guess im just looking for advice/ insight on the issue. i go back and forth in my head what would happens and what i would do and it just freaks me out.
Thanks guys. | I am an engineer with a medical marijuana card in IL. I work for a company that does commercial and federal contacts. i am unsure if i could be fired if i was drug tested for marijuana. Advice appreciated. |
t3_1iy3ix | relationships | Should I (20/F) move out with my SO (20/M)? | Background: We've been together for almost a year and have a strong relationship going. Both sets of parents have approved and support us. And I definitely see a future with him. I have unofficially lived with him a few weeks at a time before because his apartment is more convenient--closer to school and work. So we're familiar with daily habits and all.
I usually live with my mom but the commute to school/work can take over 2 hours one way, which is quite taxing for me. She also wants me to quit my part time job because I get home very late (12am+) and she gets worried. So I definitely want to move out before the school year begins.
The question is, should I move out by myself or with my SO?
Pros: We'll both save a lot, a lot, a lot of money if we move in together. On rent, utilities, food, everything. Having him around is also quite useful (to do the manly things I guess, and doing dishes, which I hate haha) and will make me feel safer than being alone.
Cons: Obviously, we won't have the option to break up anymore. It will actually be a one year signed commitment. Limitations on freedom. Living alone would also help me develop myself, which I need.
So, I'm really at a loss at what to do! Please help me out and offer your own experiences/advice with moving in with your SO! | Should I move together with my SO or should I move out alone? Moving out alone seems like the "can't go wrong" choice, but at least twice, if not three times, as expensive. |
t3_4yvka5 | relationships | My (22F) Bestfriend of 2 years was cuddling with me (21M) when a friend was apparently "cock blocking" us, although I never thought she felt the same or wanted a relationship... | My friend started to annoy my other friend and I while we were cuddling on a bus and was called out for "cock blocking" when my best friend tried to secretly send him a text saying " your cock block level is at the max right now". I've always had a crush on this girl but we've just always been best friends and I've always assumed she didn't feel anything for me. Later after that we went to my house and watched 4 Harry Potter movies in a row while just holding each other... Am I blind and possibly could have missed a chance with my dream girl for so long? | my best friend of 2 years that I've always had a crush on said another friend of ours was cock blocking her with me and I've never thought that she has felt the same way, what does this mean? |
t3_19qm8e | Parenting | lying, just turned five. | My boy just turned five. He told a lie here or there before hand but was usually called out on it. About the time he turned five (2 wks ago) he started to converse to the death that he was telling the truth. If I didn't see him do it he has gotten away with it occasionally, if he hurt himself in the process I explain that its his own punishment.
This week (as in the last seven days not just sunday) he hasn't told me a single truth other than a full summery of star wars episode 2 and how mad he is that vader wasn't in it. He is lying about things that really matter, no matter how I explain to him that I really need the truth. IE today he has a 101 fever and dumped "some" of his medicine in the sink while I got him a drink. I asked him to show me how much he dumped out. He went from saying none of it, to all of it and every thing in between. I explained that it would help "his eyes and arms stop hurting" (This plus him vomiting makes me think its the flue) but I can't give it unless he tells the truth. To which he told me he dumped all of it out again. I saw him drink some and could see it wasn't all of it in the sink. He then got a rather long time out for the behavior.
For the purpose of giving me advice, he is a child of extremes. (Old example but it works as a good one) Tantrums, its a phase whatever, went from basic tantrums (and with every ones advice that it is just a phase don't be too hard on him) turned into violent hour long fits where he destroyed his toys. It was stopped within two weeks of me telling him to put his nose to the wall and hands behind his back in a time out (age2 into3).
So when I see lying escalate this quickly I am pretty worried about it.
I don't care if it is a phase, it is unacceptable, especially with how far it has gone. Yes I know he is testing boundaries, but there are no boundaries to test with me. its just wrong. | freshly 5 boy hasn't told me a single truth in a week and will no longer admit at all when he is lying after being caught or having a time out. what do |
t3_26fx9w | relationships | Me [19F] with my FwB [19M] of 3 months, i am becoming too clingy. Help? | So in the middle of march i got involved with a boy. Both him and I just got out of relationships around that time, and did not really know each other that well before we started hanging out. We agreed to stick to each other only, because we are both very jealous persons.
Well, main problem. I got black-out-drunk and I think i said something to upset him. He has kind of avoided me for a week and a half, and i have asked him directly if i said something. He said yes, but we should talk about it when he doesn't have too much to think about (middle of an exam), so I agreed. It is around 4 days until we get to talk properly about it, and i am wondering what i should say. I met him over the weekend and everything seemed fine, he just is not responding to my texts/snapchat/facebook-messages. And when he does respond it is kind of short, and never any follow-up questions.
Does he want to break thing off or…? | I am too pushy on messages/contact. I said something black out drunk. 4 days until we can talk properly about it. What should i say? What should i prepare for? What can I do? |
t3_jr4a6 | relationships | GF thinks I cheated. Did I cheat? | I have been dating my current girlfriend for about a year. Things are serious. Last week, I hosted a party, but GF did not attend because she had to work. Everyone had fun and got drunk.
At the end of the night, many people slept over instead of driving. Her BFF, who has a history of hooking up with several guys in our circle of friends, slept with me in my bed. It was strictly platonic and, obviously, nothing happened but drunken sleep.
The following morning, I told my girlfriend immediately about the sleeping arrangement. She claims I cheated on her by sleeping with her BFF. It should be noted that the three of us have shared a bed platonically in the past.
So Reddit... I ask you.. Did I cheat? | Got drunk and shared a bed platonically with GF's BFF while GF was at work. Did I cheat? |
t3_16em4z | relationships | My fiance moved to Texas with me to get closer to my daughter, now we are expecting and she wants to move back. (m30/f23) | My fiance and I have been together for three years off and on. This time we have been together since May and have been great. Plans to get married and everything. I asked her to move to Texas(before the engagement) so I can be more involved in my daughters(6) life. Pre iously I was only seeing her on school breaks.
We have moved an hour away from where my daughter live due to jobs we found, but we get her every other weekend which is more than what I was used to living 4 hours away in another state.
Well we are expecting a child in August, which happens to be end of our lease, nd now she wants to move back.
To me it shows my daughter that a new baby is more important than her and so we are leaving.
My fiance states that we have no one to help with the baby, we both currently work 10hr shifts, and doesn't want to leave it at daycare while we work.
Side note: I've been pushing her to get a better job the past few months and she isn't even trying, but complains about work all the time.
Now she wants to move back home to have help with the baby and for our families to be involved with the new baby.
I don't want to leave Texas and my daughter just because a baby is here.
Any advice/thoughts would be great. | fiance and I moved to Texas to get close to my daughter, she's pregnant and wants to move back home. Leaving my daughter behind. |
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