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t3_1275xh | relationship_advice | Girlfriend (21f) broke up with me (21m), we got back together and now I'm regretting it. | Basically our relationship is great, we both love each other and we both get along very well with our friends and family. We were together for 8 months living in the same city, and the past 6 have been long distance. We still managed to see each other every weekend.
She broke up with me because there was no end date to this long distance thing, after a week she caved in contacted me and somehow convinced me to move in with her in her town by next spring... so we're back together.
I'm regretting this decision now (I know I'm an ass) because I PROMISED that I would do this (move to her town) but I'm having second thoughts right now (not ready to move in or be stuck in one small town) and not sure what to do.
Should I tell her right now my true intentions and just break it off ASAP? Or wait it out until it's closer to move in day since we just got back together the other night? | Girlfriend broke up with me due to long distance, got back together after 1 week and I promised that I would move in with her by next spring but I'm regretting that decision now. |
t3_4x2p7w | relationships | My (25F) dad and my dad's girlfriend won't stop talking to my future in-laws. | I am getting married in about 2 months. Is it normal for my dad and his longtime girlfriend (LTG) to want such a relationship with my in-laws? My in-laws are a lot more forthcoming and nice than my dad and LTG, and dad and LTG are always telling my in-laws things that they don't tell me. I had to find out that LTG's dog died from my in-laws! It is actually so odd.
My in-laws have said things before to my fiancé along the lines of "You are marrying Oshkosh! I'm not marrying [Oshkosh's] dad!" My dad also asked fiance's dad to go to San Diego and "surprise" fiancé and I there when we were going to be there for a weekend. Fiance's dad declined because he thought it was presumptuous to just show up on someone else's vacation (and I agree).
I'm just trying to get some perspective on whether it's normal for my parents to talk to my in-laws so much. My impression from my own family is that it's not. And to be honest, it feels like a power grab from them almost, like they want to be able to talk to and control my life through them. | – Do my dad and LTG have boundary issues because they talk to my in-laws so much and tell them things that they don't tell me? |
t3_3mqpvn | relationships | Me [25F] with my cousins[25-28Fs] lost their father (my uncle) and I plan on visiting in a few weeks, what should we do that's fun and how to have a friendship? | Hey reddit,
My cousins recently lost their father, my uncle, and we attended to the memorial service this past weekend. I realized that I really like my cousins and I'm planning on spending more time with them. They live pretty far away for me to drive (about 3hours 1 way so I plan on taking the train). I can stay at one cousin's house.
Any ideas what to do to help pass the time in a fun way? I know everyone likes board games, so I can bring some with me. However, I'm a bit of a loss as to what to do with my adult cousins and to create a relationship at our age?
I'm a bit socially awkward and so are they, but everyone likes each other. I would like to take them out to dinner and some other fun stuff, but I'm just at a bit of a loss as to what to do for an entire 3-4days. | How do I have fun with my cousins and what are normal activities to do after a sudden, severe loss? I need some good bonding ideas. |
t3_3wa3oi | personalfinance | Getting slammed by CC Interest...does a personal loan make sense for me? | Hi PF,
I have dug myself in a bit of a hole with CC debt. Here is what I currently have outstanding:
Chase Freedom: $741.61 @ APR: 24.99%
Chase Zappos: $787.81 @ APR: 24.24%
Chase Amazon: $1,932.57 @ APR: 23.24
total CC debt w/ APR: $3,461.99
they recently raised my apr about 2% on all cards... >_<
---
balance transferred debt (no interest for 12 more months):
Capital One: $1,343.26
Amex: $853.95
total balance transferred 0% interest 1year: $2197.21
total CC debt: $5,659.20
---
My credit score has been fluctuating a lot, but is currently around 660.
-Does it make sense for me to take out a personal loan to pay off everything at once, so I am not getting hit with ~23% avg APR? Would it be a good idea to take out $4000, or $6000 and close out the balance transferred debt too?
Obviously I would only accept the offer with a decent interest rate and terms.
-If I should, any suggestions as to a reputable lender without many hidden fees?
I definitely can't afford to pay the cards off any time soon with my current income. I have a ton of student loans in addition, rent, bills, etc. Average paying job but I barely have much $ to throw at my CC's at the moment. I have been paying 2x the minimums on my cards but still not making much progress. IF I take out a loan, these CC's are going in garbage too :)
( | ) About $5000 in CC debt, crappy APR, should I get a personal loan with a better interest rate and pay them off? What are some good lenders? |
t3_12l3j1 | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm quitting my job. What's the harshest possible way to do it? | I'm a hostess being paid minimum wage at a generic college town restaurant. I'm a student, so I go home (6 hours away) for the holidays and therefore can't work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Last night my manager made me work a 9 hour shift instead of getting cut after about 7 like usual, and told me I was going to get "tortured" until the holidays because I can't work them.
There are a lot of other problems with how this place is run, but it's a second job that's really just extra cash for me so I never let myself get too stressed. However, I refuse to be treated like this just because I can't work a few holidays. | My manager is planning to treat me like shit for three weeks so I want to fuck over these people as much as possible. Any ideas? |
t3_3asoax | relationships | My parents (45) tried to convince me (18f) that I wasn't sexually abused, but I'm not entirely sure. | I found out this year that I was abused when I was 4 from a social worker with CPS. There was medical evidence to prove it, they told me. I asked my parents why they never told me, and my dad acted as if I had formulated the story to get some sympathy or something that my uncle would never hurt me. The man who molested me was my father's brother (42m), and he is mentally disabled. I've been at reading and writing at a higher level than him since I was in fourth grade. I felt betrayed because he was still in my life, and my parents let him babysit me and my brothers but then again I don't know if what the social worker told me made me remember the event or if my brain just made a memory up. I figured it didn't really happen, that my mind just made up a memory and it was a misunderstanding like my parents said.
I learned that my uncle's girlfriend (late 30s) and her daughter (9) packed up and moved three states away after the daughter said he touched her inappropriately. Before my grandfather died, my grandparents moved a bunch, never living in the same place for more than a couple years. The incident took place in my grandparents' house, and I remembered a swing set, which upon further investigation, I learned was only at the same house. They moved before I started school.
It was easy for me to put this off because I didn't believe it, but now, I don't think I can deny it, and I feel so disgusting. | I denied evidence of my molestation until I learned my abuser did it to another little girl, one he was "raising," and I feel filthy despite approximately 5,000 showers since. |
t3_3j3v0k | relationships | Me [16 M] was dumped by my ex [17 F] of six months, because she decided she just didn't like me in that way anymore. | I'm well aware of the fact that I'm young and I'm sure my troubles don't even come close to others of this site. It's not the first time I've been dumped, but this time it's different as the relationship had become really serious.
I just don't understand how she could suddenly stop liking me at all, even after telling me that I haven't changed.
A part of me really wants to try and win her back, and another part of me, fuelled by past experiences wants to move on. All I know is that I miss her more every time I'm around her and as we go to the same school it's somewhat unavoidable that I'll see her. I don't know what to do and I'm really upset.
She said that over the week we had been back form the summer she had slowly just lost feelings for me, but promised me I hadn't done anything wrong or that she'd cheated. Can this really happen? Is there anything at all that I can do? | Do I try and win her back or force myself to distance myself from her? Can people really just "lose feelings" for others without any reason? |
t3_hw0r2 | AskReddit | It's my Reddit birthday but I'm too fucking tired from work to celebrate with cat photos or something. Been done before, but what's your job, and your best work story? | This isn't from my work, but it's a story my dad just told me happened to him at work today. (It's long, so skip it if you want, but man! A good story!)
My dad is a chemist/Head of Research for a very large oil company (we'll call it Derp Oil; potential int'l lawsuits are possible, after they, ironically, now test the product for wrongdoing) who, like many oil companies, deals with oil companies in China (We'll call it China Herp Oil). My dad works in both Derp Oil's lubricant and research department respectively. They've been having issues with with the Chinese company blaming Derp Oil's QC/lubricant department for pipeline issues (clogging, minor explosions, etc.), all the while unable to provide evidence to Derp Oil that they did anything wrong. China Herp Oil is/was unhappy about a possible distancing of the two companies' in terms of shared research, as far as I can tell.
So long story short, Derp Oil is developing in my dad's research department, a new product with hexanol in the lubricants (not my Dad's idea). China Herp Oil had a deal with Derp Oil to provide this hexanol to Derp Oil. The problem is, they totally trolled Derp Oil's QC department today. The QC department bought and passed on the raw materials to my dad's department without quality checking it. At all. And it is typical in my dad's area to minimize exposure of chemicals to elements and put the tanks into the plant and "let it run". Funny thing... It had some hexanol in it, but it was mostly water. So because of a bit of laziness in terms of paperwork and testing, the plant is shut down as the hexanol, water, and product mix sets up in the plant, and has effectively shut the plant down. 60,000 tons of product is ruined. | A Chinese oil company most likely epically trolled my dad's company today. Fucked shit up in a hilarious way. What's your job, and your best work related story? |
t3_1zcq42 | relationships | I (23 m) am so confused with this girl (20) reddit! Help me! | So, here is the deal, I met this girl at work, let's call her Angie, and she was very nice, she's very attractive. Well we started talking, and we talked for like two weeks, and at the time she had a boyfriend. Well, she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, and we started hanging out, I spent a few nights over, we kissed and cuddled, but nothing else happened, she said she wanted to take it slow, since she just had a break up, and I was cool with that, as I've been through the same thing before.
Well, she ended up going to a party back in her home town, where her ex-boyfriend lives, and I guess they got back with him. Well now she is still talking to me and still wants me to come over with her to her house.
Also, on a side note, her roommate is sorta going for her too, and he has been pissed off the last few days when I come over, hence why not much was done between us besides the kissing and cuddling, which is just as well since she wants to take it slow.
So basically, what I need is some advice, do I continue to be "friends" with her, I mean I love going over there, she is a great person, I think, and it's fun hanging out, but I want to be more then what she wants us to be, and this boyfriend from upstate is kind of getting in the way. | Girl hung out with me, got a boyfriend, and still wants to hang out, even though she is in a relationship. Also girls are confusing. |
t3_26pz2k | relationships | Me [23 M] has been invited to a wedding by my good friend [24 F], will my recent girlfriend of 1 month [21 F] be alright with it? | So one of my really good friends from out of town has flown in this week for her friends wedding. At the last moment her date has ditched her and she has asked me to go with her to the wedding this Saturday.
Me and my friend have the type of relationship were we probably skype 2-3 times a month, and we both look at each other like brother and sister.
My girlfriend has known about my friend since we first met, and I have communicated to her before this that nothing has happened between us and we act like brother and sister. I have even talked about introducing them this week, (which my gf has communicated that she wanted to meet my friend) however my friend's time is very limited and I want to see her before she heads back.
So my question to you guys is, how do I tackle this.. I don't want to mess things up with my girlfriend, at the same time I want to be there for my friend when her date ditched her. | friend asked me to accompany her to wedding, girlfriend has never met this girl who is like my sister.. what do? |
t3_2e6wql | relationships | Me [27 M] with my [31 M] roommate having an issue with our former landlord | My roommate and I lived together for around two years, had a good living arrangement, and are still friends. She moved in with her boyfriend at the end of the lease, and we both moved out to different places. The problem I have is that the former landlord is withholding a good amount of money (about 700 dollars) from our security deposit, most of which I think are things he can't legally charge for.
The biggest item (approximately 300 dollars), is for repair to a sink and mirror that were in my former roommates room. My roommate swears it was damaged when we first moved into the place, but she never notified the landlord about it. In her defense, it's a pretty small crack, and if I had been living in that bedroom I might not have reported it either. If she had damaged it, I would have no hesitation about making the repair come out of her half of the deposit. But, on the other hand, I think the landlord is trying to screw us and I don't think she should be charged at all.
We haven't discussed it directly, but as of now I'm pretty sure she expects us to split the cost since she said something along the lines of being charged 350 (half of the 700 dollar total).
Any ideas on how I should handle this. Should I split the cost of the sink with her, or should she be on the hook since she didn't report it? Also, anyone ever have luck getting a landlord to reduce charges on things they shouldn't have been charging for (normal wear and tear kinds of things). | Former landlord is charging for a cracked sink (in my roommates room) that I don't believe my roommate broke. Should she have to pay the charge for it, or should we split it? |
t3_wi2nc | relationships | 19F. Should I take a stand against B/f not telling his friends about our relationship? | I made this account so I could ask for r/relationship's advice since a lot of people seem to have good insight. So, my b/f (23M) and I have been dating for a little more than a year now. I had worked with him and his friends a couple of years before that, and we ended up dating. The problem I have is that, even after a year of dating, he still hasn't told his friends about us. It honestly has been upsetting me for awhile, and he knows it has. Recently he told me that the reason he hasn't told his friends is because they talk about me around him, and most recently his friends were calling me things like a "fat dyke" and other various names.
I understand why he doesn't want his friends to think of him differently, but he's also told me that he knows i'm not the same person I was when his friends knew me. So what i'm really wondering is why he won't stand up for his girlfriend? I'm really torn about whether or not i actually have a right to be upset about this, or whether i'm overreacting. any help or insight reddit could give me would be awesome. | B/f won't tell his friends about g/f, even when they say bad things about me to him, am i in the right to be upset? |
t3_3ol5s9 | Advice | Office job vs. Pizza slave? | I used to be a GM in the city a few years back for a pizza place. Pay was amazing. But, I never had a weekend off and had to work six nights a week. I got offered a position at the same company out where I live now, so it's a little calmer than I'm used to. Starting salary is 30k, but then will bump up to a guaranteed 35k, with the potential of 45-50k depending on my bonuses. Since I know the company inside and out, that will be fairly easy for me.
I'm currently a telemarketer. The job sucks. I'm only guaranteed to 14k a year, however I'm off nights and weekends. Depending on how my week goes I can easily make 400+on top of my salary. However, I'm not in any control of my salary. While it does depend on how hard I pitch and convince them to book a vacation through me, ultimately it's up to the customer. The plus side is I have an awesome schedule, but I can only work 30-36 hours per week.
Downside to Domino's is it will be stressful at times, but I absolutely loved that job. Crazy hours, and my franchisee asked that I move closer to that location (45 mins, which I'm down for). I will have the major holidays off, but don't get paid for them until I'm salaried.
Plus side is money money money and I'm already trained.
Downside to telemarketing is that I hate telemarketers and so does everyone else, so it's not an easy job. Low pay, and it's so boring. My salary depends on my clients.
Plus side is its close to home, easy, great schedule, paid time off, paid holidays, and my shifts are short. | Pizza place job with shit hours that pays in the end 40k> vs low paying telemarketing job that pays at its best 28k,but has great hours? |
t3_2zb7im | relationships | Me [24F] with guy friend [25M]. Is there hope? | Background:
- I grew up in an abusive household where I learned that my needs, wants and opinions have no value.
- When I was 18 I entered a relationship that was manipulative, controlling and full of gaslighting. That lasted two years.
- For the past four years I have been focusing on myself and my own issues and have stayed unattached.
- I was very anti-relationship/vulnerability.
- I have a problem with guys; friendships build but once it gets more serious I nope the fuck out, make up some excuse and run away.
- I am still getting over the whole "why would my opinions, needs and wants matter?" thing.
Story:
I met a guy back in October and we hit it off right away; we have been talking nearly every day ever since. At the time he was dating another girl and long story short he broke up with her because she was manipulative and clingy.
A month or so later we decided to meet up and it was great – a little awkward sure, but not in a bad way. We spent New Years Eve together at his place which was full of tv, video games, cuddling and sex.
I am baffled by how well we get along; we're compatible sexually, mentally, emotionally, we have so much in common...
Problem:
I still have trouble putting myself out there because of past relationships. After about four months of building up courage, I finally told him that I feel more than friendship towards him. His reply was basically that he likes me a lot but is very anti-vulnerability after his previous relationships – and while I understand his hesitancy after having a similar issue for the past few years, it still hurts. He says that we can carry on as we were if I am comfortable with it. So pretty much confiding in each other, cuddling, watching movies, hanging out and playing video games.
So my concern here is, is this healthy? I definitely do not want to lose him; he is one of my biggest supports. Is it possible for this to evolve into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? | Told my guy friend I want a relationship, he does not. We are compatible in most ways, only thing is timing. |
t3_1hhlx1 | relationships | Should I be accepting more credit for the things I do for bf's daughter? | My (f25) partner (m35) has a 14yo daughter with learning disabilities (mental age of a 7yo). While he has always had her every other weekend and has always paid child support on time he hasn't really done much else for her. Both parents admit this. He loves her to death and is fantastic when she is with us but it's almost as if if she's not stood in front of him, she doesn't exist- especially when it comes to dealing with her disability.
Since we have been together I have taken the daughter on as my own and support her financially and both parents consider me important in decision making for her- they know I will do anything for her
My problem is that I have always wanted bf and daughter to have a great relationship and always have him tell her good news and let Him takes the credit for things I've done for her as he hasn't always kept his promises to her. She's a daddies girl anyway but I know she feels more secure in their relationship now and thanks to me gets to see him more often.
My bf isn't a bad guy, he was a teenager who never wanted kids in the first place and was tricked in to having one. I know the daughter still keeps in touch with bfs ex and I've realised they are closer than we are. So- I'm jealous. Should I keep trying to strengthen the daddy-daughter relationship or am I sacrificing my relationship with her too much? | I always let my bf take credit for all the things I do to support his daughter. Feel like this means I might be sacrificing my own relationship with her. Jealous she is still close with his ex |
t3_2kt9d2 | relationships | Me [23F] with my online boyfriend [27M] +1 year, lied about my sexual experience | We have been together for over a year. We live on opposite sides of the U.S. but plan on being together when it's right. I'm not cat fishing him but I didn't think we'd be talking past a week let alone year.
He thinks I have had a partner. Honestly, I'm not planning on telling him because he would end things.
I've never been kissed. Before our feelings were there, I was sort of dating a friend but I've had such bad social anxiety that I wouldn't let him kiss me and he moved on.
I want to be able to kiss him without anxiety but obviously don't know if that will come naturally. Also, not to sound completely immature but French kissing does not interest me... Would I be missing out not wanting to stick our tongues in each other's mouths? I've considered drinking to get over nerves.
I don't know what to do. How do I become good at making out and blow jobs when I don't have that confidence? If I tell him it's been a while, would someone in general judge based on the first time? | I lied and said I've had one boyfriend but I've never been kissed! How do I gain confidence without experience? |
t3_2i1ac0 | relationships | I [22M] found out that the girl I want to ask out has a boyfriend. What can I do? | So I've been single for a couple of weeks after over three years and I see this really cute girl in some of my classes. You can feel a certain tension and we've caught ourselves glancing at each other several times though we haven't spoken a word yet.
At this point I was ready to introduce myself, ask for her number and maybe for a date, but a friend who knows her told me that she has a boyfriend. I don't know anything else about her relationship.
What can I do? I was thinking maybe I could just ask for her number and tell her it's only for school. I don't know if that would be ethical but I feel bad not being able to make a move when we're making eye contact all the time. | Found out that a girl I like, and that I feel may be attracted to me, has a boyfriend. What are my options? |
t3_1ywmhj | offmychest | I feel like I'm living with a child. | My roommate never cleans unless I get on her back about it. I've been the only person to clean the entire bathroom, kitchen, and living room since we moved in last September. She's cleaned the bathroom..once, and "swept" a couple times.
Maybe I shouldn't be keeping track of the score, but it's hard not to when I'm the only one to even do the dishes or take out the trash. I feel like a maid. At some point I feel like I can't be diplomatic with her. Maybe it's time to risk pissing her off and receiving some facebook message wrath and more cold-shouldering.
I'm sick of walking on eggshells and getting bullshit responses about how busy she is. She's not so busy she can't spare 3 minutes to take out the trash. At this point it's seems like she -knows- I'll take care of it, so she doesn't do anything. I'll leave her dishes, but if the bathroom/kitchen is disgusting, it has to be cleaned... | Roommate does not clean, I feel like a maid. At what point is it okay to no longer be diplomatic about it? |
t3_4dzuwo | relationships | Husband (25m) often curses me out (24f) and yells when he's angry. Has been nagging me about my habit of interrupting him. Told him to either treat me with respect or deal with it. Too far? | Husband and I have been married a year. When he's mad at me he often yells, and calls me a bitch or a cunt.
Recently he's been saying that my habit of interrupting him is disrespectful. I told him I totally understand, I grew up in a huge mormon family and often interrupt people simply because that's how I learned to communicate growing up. If you didn't interrupt your siblings you weren't really heard and didn't get your needs met. I know this is disrespectful, but it's a deeply ingrained habit I've been trying to change for him (I don't do it constantly anymore, but probably once for every long conversation we have). I tried to explain my past to him again tonight and be understanding of his feelings. I essentially told him, "I'm very sorry I hurt your feelings, my family is this way and I've been struggling to change this habit, but I really do respect and want to hear what you have to say" but he ended up yelling at me, saying, "it's not fucking respectful to interrupt me while I'm talking, that shows quite literally you don't care about about anything I have to say or my feelings" then he told me to get the fuck out and called me a bitch.
I left the room and broke down crying. I sent him a text saying I'm willing to give 100% effort to not interrupting him, but if he doesn't make the same effort to not curse and yell at me then the deal is off. I even told him if he wants respect from me then he should give some in return.
Is this an unreasonable request? Did I go too far? | husband curses me out and yells a lot. Told him I would not respect his request to not interrupt him if he doesn't stop these behaviors. |
t3_3c1pln | relationships | Is my [22F] relationship with my boss [32M] inappropriate? | So my boss recently sat down with me and said that he'd been told by his boss that someone had complained to him that my relationship with my boss is inappropriate and that we have to keep a very strictly professional relationship from now on. He said he personally didn't agree but that's just how it is.
So I'm essentially my boss' assistant. I work directly for him only and I'm the only person who works for him. So we spend A LOT of time together and despite our age difference we have a lot in common! We joke around, discuss music, talk about our personal lives (though not to a level I'd call "inappropriate", mostly I complain about parents/roommates and he tells me stories about his kids or sometimes wife).
Basically we're always laughing, making fun of each other, just messing around at work but always getting everything done that we need to, we can easily transition from joking to being more focused. We work in a lab with like 5-7 other people and I thought we all got along well. My boss and I just spent more time together just like the other higher ups spend more time with their assistants. It just happens that my boss and I get along well.
I don't know who complained and I'm just confused. This is my first "real" job I guess and wanted to know if anything I described is inappropriate? You can of course ask for more specifics about our interactions, I wasn't sure what details to provide. | Someone at work complained my relationship with my boss, which I think is just a closeknit work-only friendship, is inappropriate. Did I do anything wrong? |
t3_1y7q27 | offmychest | People don't understand any of it... | I am asked by people such as friends, family and co-workers non stop why i don't have chase women or have a girlfriend. Fuck for the longest time i didn't even know why. till a realization in therapy session.
For context as a youth i was a short fat 245lb gaming fool but when I grew into my body and started working out I found out at 6'3 I'm noy half bad looking. But For some reason the people in my life do not understand that i am single by MY choice because of the issues i have. I mean for fucks sake we all have problems with people and i feel like I'm the only one people prod all damn day.
Back to my realization. It's Simple I don't trust women because like any other male it's from my past with my mother. She was a crazy alcoholic fiend who fed on my physical, emotional and mental pain. I realized that if the one women who is supposed to love me treats me this way how would any other women treat me. But it all changed when i met lets call her Jen my sophomore year of high school. Note im not gona go into my mothers savagery i don't care to share that. But Jen was the first girl in my life i trusted. we were best friends and obviously i had more feelings than that but i didn't know yet. it was two years later at 18 that i realized it that i loved here, but like every story she didn't feel the same and i understood that but what happens next is the worse part.
She crushed me i told her in person my feelings and she just deadpan walked away plus never talked to me or contacted me again. A no would have sufficed because that is what i was expecting. She walked out of faster than a whore walking out of church.
I am not looking for sex or just someone to hang out with. For fucks sake i am looking for the one thing i have never felt from a women Love. i fear women and don't open up to them because I believe that history shall repeat itself.
Through therapy i'm gona get over this but fuck it feels good to say. | I realized that because of my abusive mother. I Might never be able to trust women because i have never felt Loved by one. |
t3_2wftpw | tifu | TIFU by making an inappropriate joke at a movie theater and being an insensitive dick | Happened a few years ago and I'm still ashamed.
I was at the movies with friends watching Polytechnique, which is based on the school shooting that happened in Montreal. Good movie, but tough to watch. A lot of people were in tears by the time the credits rolled. No feeling comfortable after watching such a dark movie and from the situation in general, I thought it would be a wonderful idea to ease the atmosphere with a joke. I turned to my friend and asked her "Do you think there will be a gag reel?" just loud enough that some other people heard us. We broke into uncomfortable laughter, then got up and left while people looked at us like the insensitive assholes we were. | Was at the theater, asked if there was a gag reel at the end of a movie about a mass shooting. Not cool. |
t3_1k4iqy | relationships | Me[24M] wondering why my[22F] gf rarely interacts in a conversation with me | So here goes. I broke up with this girl a few months back because my heart really wasn't in it. I was too busy with school/work and felt like a horrible bf because I could rarely make time for her. I realized that I messed up and immediately pursued her again. She agreed, but said that she was going to be cautious and that we were going to take it slow. She comes over and visits often, but I find it difficult to make her laugh and keep a conversation with her. We still kiss and make out, but that's really the only good thing out of this pre-relationship. What can I do to make it all better? Should I worry that she might be pursuing someone else? This is really bothering me. | Broke up with gf, now we are talking again and taking it slow. I can not make her laugh or hold a conversation with her. Should I worry? |
t3_lp0yo | running | Stress fracture question | This weekend I ran my first half marathon ever. It felt great- I was flying, running fast and feeling great. Until mile 11. All of the sudden my right shoe felt like it had shrunk about 6 sizes. I stopped and loosened the laces twice (thankfully, I knew enough not to pull my foot out of the shoe), I tried walking for a bit, I tried running on other sections of my foot, but it was still excruciating. That being said I finished.
I didn't take my shoe off for hours because I was waiting on some friends that ran the full marathon and hanging out with family. When I finally took my shoe off, there was a bruise running on the side of my foot, and my foot swelled up immediately.
I went to the doc today and they said it was a stress fracture and put me in a walking boot and on crutches for the next three weeks.
Here's where I get to my question: They "fit me in", so I literally spent maybe 90 seconds with the doctor. I know I can't run while I'm in the boot or on crutches (obviously), but how long will I be out of the game? Is there anything I can do to speed healing? I am majorly bummed... | I have a stress fracture, but didn't have any time to ask questions about it - how will this affect my running long term? |
t3_oatx6 | relationships | Am I overreacting? | I'm 20 in a long distance relationship with my 24 year old boyfriend.
Long story short, my boyfriend started doing these radio shows that led to a lot of females adding him on facebook. My boyfriend has started getting close with this one female who lives in the same area as him and it's making me uncomfortable. She is constantly writing on his wall, private messaging and has mentioned texting/calling but I don't know how frequent this is. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I had an argument about this, and he basically tells me he doesn't agree with whatever I'm saying about him getting close with that girl.
The very next day, I open facebook to see that he has written lyrics of a song on her wall. This pisses me off as I find it disrespectful of him to do so especially the very day after we just had an argument about this?
Fast forward to around a week back, she sends him an invitation to her birthday get together which he can't attend because he's out of town for work. I ask him how come she's inviting him to her birthday if they are "not close". (Keep in mind, they have never met. They only started talking due to that radio show.) Basically the question gets dodged, "It's not like I'm going to meet her anyway" etc.
Yesterday, I went to his wall to post something when the very first post I see is from that girl, telling him she's so sad he couldn't make it and so on. He responds by saying he's sorry too but he'll let her know when he's back in town so they can arrange a meet up.
This is so infuriating and I honestly can't stop crying. It's like nothing makes a difference to him? Me crying means jack, me being upset means nothing. He then tells me he was just being polite, and he wasn't going to meet her anyway. WTF? I tell him directly that I don't believe him after which he starts saying stuff like, he's tired of trying to get me to trust him etc.
What do I do? Is it wrong to be upset about this? | Some girl heard my bf on radio and is now desperate to talk to him and meet up with him. I'm upset about this and boyfriend doesn't care. |
t3_1jw7v4 | dating_advice | (21M) liked me for years, and I (18F) finally decided to try things out. He's kind of a closet jerk | The guy is a friend of a friend. He has pursued me for years, claiming I was his "dream girl," but I never was interested until recently, when he cleaned himself up and got some experience. We randomly made out one night, and since then we texted for about a month while i was away on vacation.
Lots of flirty texts and the tension built till the other night. I'm leaving for college soon and for some reason he thought this was the last night he'd see me:
We go to his house and he tells me to pick a movie, then says "it's just going to be background anyways." (Wtf). The movie hasn't started and he immediately lunges at me, trying to make out. He attempts this like 6 times over the next half hour.
I was kinda pissed but eventually we start doing everything you can do from the waist up. I had my period but he tried going down on me many times. When we were getting dressed, he took out a box of Trojan Magnums and told a bullshit irrelevant story. He definitely just wanted me to see they were magnum..
My question is: Why the sudden change in personality?? He'd always talked so highly about me/my personality/how amazing it would be if I was with him. Now that he has a real chance, why is he being such a douche?
Also: Would hooking up with him again be a mistake? Is it disgusting to let him feel the satisfaction of another night with me if I felt kind of used? (Even though he was pretty good). I'm going away to college soon, and only have a few weeks left with him here | Guy was super interested in me, but when I finally reciprocated, he started to be a jerk. Don't know if i should continue hooking up |
t3_2unlaa | relationships | Me [32 M] with my ex-gf [31F] 4mo, I got a celebrity autograph of her favorite musician for her birthday. | So, ex and I broke up. Stalled relationship-- it happens. My motivation is not looking to get back with her, but I don't know if I should give her this gift. Her birthday is a ways out, so it might not be as weird if I give it to her then, but I really don't care to have this sitting around. Should I just give the gift to her, or forget it? She broke up with me, and I definitely don't want to come off as desperate.
We are on somewhat friendly terms, currently not talking but I don't think we can't manage to salvage a friendship out of things because we did get along well. Just going to take some time if that even happens. What do?
It's a musician that I don't like, before anyone asks. | ordered a gift for my gf before we broke up, do I give it to her now, later, never? |
t3_2vya98 | relationships | My [17M] friend [16F] won't so much as look at me because I'm too much of a flirt | I started dating a good friend of mine, and it was going well, but she broke it off with an ambiguous text after the 3rd date, saying she "deserve[s] better".
After that text, she wouldn't respond to me anywhere or acknowledge my existence in person, so I couldn't get a reason out of her.
I spoke with a mutual friend, and her younger brother who likes me, and found the reason was that she thinks I flirt with other girls, and I can't commit to her.
My own friends verify this, telling me I'm too flirty at times, but I don't really understand, because it's just the way I've always interacted with people, but now it seems I've built an image that this girl can't see past.
She's afraid that I'm just playing with her emotions, and she won't let me in. It's been two weeks now.
Yesterday, I tried giving her a V-day package, with a ton of candy, a standard v-day teddy, and a card I made for her, apologizing for my behavior, but she wouldn't look at me when I entered the room. I placed it by her bags, but she left with them, pushing the package aside.
Do I stop trying? Do I force her to hear me out? What's the best course of action and what am I missing here? | girl friend won't talk to me because she thinks I'm hitting on other ladies on the side. What to do now? |
t3_3ffp48 | relationships | My GF [20 F] of 6 months broke up with me [20 M], said she loves me but needs space to learn to love herself. | My girlfriend and I had been dating for about 6 months, we had a great relationship and very compatible personalities. I have never felt this way about someone
She had always struggled with anxiety issues and depression. She broke up with me this week and told me she needed to learn to love herself before she could be with someone. She told me she loved me, and that she still wanted me to be a part of her life.
I really want her back. I am planning on no contact for about a month, but am afraid she will move on. I've never met someone like her, and am scared to lose her for good.
How do I get her back? | GF broke it off, needed time and space to grow. We love each other and I don't want to lose her, what should I do? |
t3_48psai | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] 1y 4m, confused about my feelings | My boyfriend and I have been dating for coming up to a year and a half. He's a few months younger than me but we're both 20 at the moment. I just graduated from college and have started my first job. I have a good salary and am starting to get on my feet as an adult, my boyfriend has had difficult few years and he's had a lot of stuff to work through.
Before the difficult circumstances started he left HS early because he wasn't enjoying it, he started studying something at college but dropped out of that because he wasn't enjoying it either. Then some stuff went down with his family and his dad left him and his mum. He started studying something else last school year but didn't really study and failed most of his classes.
This year he says he can't afford to study and he wants to take a year off to earn some money and pay back some debts, maybe reevaluate what he's studying again because there aren't many job prospects for what he was studying. He's taken on some extra hours at his job which he hates to earn some money. He always talks about hating his job and wanting to find a new one but in his spare time he just watches TV and plays computer games.
I love him so much and I am a very loyal person but recently there have been two other guys who've been flirting with me and I like it. I'm so confused by this as I never wanted to be that kind of person. I'd never act on anything but I don't even want to be the kind of person who looks at anyone but the man I love. I feel incredibly guilty about it. Both these other guys are older a little older than me and have their lives pretty much on track and I wonder if that has something to do with how I'm feeling? | My boyfriend seems to have no direction and I'm confused about have mini crushes on guys who've been flirting with me |
t3_2o6goa | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend [19F] found talking explicitly with another man and sharing photos. | Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost four years now. We got together when we were still in high-school, and have been dating since. Around 1 year into our relationship, I fooled around with my ex girlfriend, and she found out. She was very upset and wanted to break up. Somehow I convinced her not to, and we've been okay since.
During the rest of the relationship however she was constantly making me feel bad for messing around behind her back and calling me a liar.
Today I found on her iPad messages between her and my cousin [M35ish] that are very explicit. They had mentioned wanting to get together but never had the time to. I had always thought of my cousin to be very sleezy, but never had evidence. I think I want to break up with her but I'm not sure. Can anyone help?
Also, my cousin is married with a kid. I kinda really hate this cousin but his wife seems really nice, should I tell her about it? The cousin mentions doing things with lots of other women and she doesn't know about it. | I cheated on my girlfriend along time ago (3 years) and she got me back by using my cousin. What do? |
t3_zr5cs | AskReddit | How to meet like minded people? | I'm 18 years old, and due to constant moving and family issues, I did not attend any school for two consecutive years since 2nd grade until junior/senior year in high school. Because of this, I tend to be a little anti-social and don't have the social skills most people my age have. I'm introverted and spend most of my time thinking, but I have never met anyone that thinks about the same things I do on a regular basis.
I think about space, time (or the illusion of it), how what we call reality is really just a collection of neurons being stimulated by the sensory systems of our bodies, what effects the way we socialize (major one), relationships (not love relationships, but family, friends, etc.) and what effects them, philosophy, psychology, and everything in between.
I can't go a day without pondering these things, but lately it has been getting hard to go through every day life without knowing at least one other person that is at least somewhat like me. I have a large family, but I appear to be the oddball of the bunch. I have few friends from school, none of which could carry a conversation about what I like to think about though. Out of hope, I tried going to a couple chat-room type websites to talk to random people to test my luck, but my social skills did not allow me to carry past a few lines before feeling like a failure and signing out.
I'm sure there are like minded people out there, but how does one go about finding them? Especially with limited social skills? Any advise or pointers would be appreciated, sorry for the wall of text. | I think about life A Lot and want to meet others that do as well, while having very limited social skills to my name. |
t3_1x4qaq | Advice | About to graduate college, need some advice on the next chapter in my life. | I currently go to a university here in Wisconsin. I am a 22 year old male, and in less than a year I will be graduating with a degree in advertising. I am also currently in a relationship and have been for the last 2 years (we broke up twice, both her call, heart broken, etc. if you need to know more just ask).
My girlfriend has always had a dream to move to NYC and start a life there, of course her and I will be finishing school at the same time. Basically she expects me to go with her even though i've never been there (we plan on visiting this summer) and she has plenty of family that live there, and she's been there countless times.
My concerns: This is MY life and I would be leaving a lot here in the midwest. Sure, the weather isn't the nicest, but my family lives here and a lot of my friends. My parents also live only 30 minutes away from Milwaukee and around 2 hours away from Chicago. I want to live in a city, working at an ad agency or another corporate business somewhere close to home that way I can still be in touch with my family and friends.
So what do I do? Obviously I'll be taking all advice lightly because ultimately it's my choice. My girlfriend seems pretty set on NYC and shows no signs of truly wanting to compromise at all.
I was also worried on whether or not I should be posting this here, or in r/Relationship_advice | Graduating soon, girlfriend wants to move toNYC - I'd rather stay in a city near the midwest for family and friends (not to mention price). I am torn on what to do and how to analyze this. |
t3_3no5u6 | relationships | My [25/F] ex-boyfriend [27/M] is one of my best friends. I met someone new and I am not sure how to approach the topic. | So, this is something I have been afraid to deal with when it came to a new relationship. My last boyfriend and I had an amazing time together, but we both ultimately realized we were better off as friends than being together. I don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore, but I do love him as a friend. He is incredibly supportive and we gel really well. I have, in the past, tried to approach the topic with a romantic interest only to have them get very judgmental about it. I recently met a new guy who I talk to every day, we've been on dates, and we have both expressed a desire to try this out. I also really don't want to cut off my ex-boyfriend as a friend because he has helped me through a lot and, although we dated, I think of him more as a friend.
To cut to the point, I have not been able to successfully broach the subject with a couple romantic interests in the past and I really like this new guy. He is everything I had hoped for, but I feel like he is going to judge me/feel intimidated by the fact that one of my best friends also happens to be an ex. How can I try bringing it up in a way that won't make the new romantic interest comfortable with this? I really don't want to scare him off. | My ex-boyfriend has become one of my best friends. How do I bring this up in a way that won't scare off my new romantic interest? |
t3_49wj5r | relationships | Me [21 M] with my close friend [19 F], How can i help her dealing with depression? | A very close friend of mine is currently struggling with depression. She has a hard time motivating herself to do stuff for school, sleeping on a regular schedule, going outside, meeting friends, overthinking, feeling worthless/not loveable, being honest..etc.
She recently wrote me this, which kinda resembles her mood, but also that i might be in a position to support her. She wrote this as one of many reasons explaining why she has a hard time meeting me.
"You give me the feeling of being loveable, even though i dont feel like i am"
I also had a rough last year dealing with depression and quit smoking. I wish i had told someone at the time about it, but kept silent and somehow dealt with it myself. I am doing great and am smoke free for 6 months by now :)
We do have something romantic going between us and its always been like that for the past 2 years we know eachother, but at the same time we are best friends who trust and care for eachother.
I genuinely wanna support her dealing with this, not in hope of getting anything in return, but because she is a wonderful human being with a beautiful personality and i only wish the best for her.
What are little things that helped you dealing with depression or things you did or said to a good friend to support them? | Went through depression myself, had noone to talk to, she opened up about her depression, wanna use the chance and support her! |
t3_2zt5rh | relationships | [25m] Broke up with my ex and I want her [19f] back but she is sleeping with some one just like me | We where together 1 and a half years. We broke up less then 2 mounts ago. And I decided I wanted her back but I didn't want to just run there and began to fix what bothered her about me first. So I was trying no contact, working out, eating right, and figuring out how to really listen hear what she is saying. After the first week past, I found or my grandma was in the hospital I freaked out and asked her to take me back.
She wanted to keep taking after the break up so I did for a month. It seemed mutual at the time but a lot of what she says now is stuff like you didnt find me special, you left, you gave up. It feels like she blamed me.
Well I also found out she slept with someone new. So she said show me you changed by listening and maybe I'll give you a chance. I was freaked because of my grandma and the guy and kept pushing. That was a week ago we've been taking and I've been trying not to push very unsuccessful and maker her think I haven't changed. I found out stuff about the new guy. This might sound weird but I'm use to having a clone I have a twin but when I reached out to her she started taking to her I found out like me he is an landscape going back to school for electrical engineering. We both have a cheese sence of romance, she describes both of us as the whitest guy she ever meet, and we both have blond hair and blue eyes. I was hoping for advice. I know she misses me at least a little but she can be cold when we talk. It feels like I'm unmissed and this had been easy for her. But maybe it's because of the new guy. Any thing you think I should do. | We broke up she is sleeping with someone a lot like me but I want her back. What can I do? Should I even try? |
t3_y002a | AskReddit | What is the strangest random interaction you have had standing in line for something? | Mine was today while I was getting coffee. Wanted to share and am curious about others' experiences.
Mea Culpa: I own a DEVO wallet, which I bought at Comic-con last year. I love it. About once a week, it prompts a reaction when I pull it out to pay for something. It is usually recognized by a ven diagram of hipsters, nerds, and 80's revivalists. Today it was recognized by a new breed. A woman (roughly in her early 40s, but hard to tell since she was a hippy and they all seem to look like they are either 18 or 52) was excited to see it. She let me know, however, that the DEVO hat does not work. She was referring to the"Energy Dome" hat that band mythology said was used to collect and focus energy. It was actually a Jello mold and DEVO was in on the joke, but who am I to point that out. She let me know that she had improved up on it. She told me she was "electro sensitive" and that her hair attracted electricity. So she had fashioned some sort of mad max meets knit club yarn and metal string combo that attached to her hair and ended in a giant ball of string and wire that she apparently let trail behind her everywhere she walked in NYC. And the sidewalks of NYC are not the greatest thing about the city unless you are dog. She seemed excited to share this with me. I fake laughed and got out of there with my coffee. This all happened in less than a minute. | Crazy woman saw DEVO wallet. Showed me her homemade Energy Dome-like device to deal with her "electro sensitivity" |
t3_twog1 | running | Yesterday, I ran my fourth half marathon 3 weeks after mentally struggling to get through another half marathon, and finished almost TEN MINUTES faster. (UPDATE!) | Hey all, original post is [here] in which I explained that I have noticed I tend to train better (a whole minute/mile faster) than I race.
I'm here to tell you that I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my previous question. To anyone else struggling with the same issues or for anyone wondering what was most helpful...
A couple of people mentioned that I started out too fast and that hindered my ability to maintain a reasonable pace for my goals. Another person mentioned using my GPS watch if possible.
Yesterday, in the Brooklyn Half Marathon, I think a lot of factors came into play. Overall, I just felt SO much better...my legs were fresh from the start and that probably had a lot to do with me keeping them loose by walking around NYC all day Friday and walking 1.5 miles to the race start in the morning. Additionally though, I think the above pieces of advice definitely helped me. I anticipated some hills in Prospect Park so I tried to make sure my initial miles were in check and that my pace was steady by using my Garmin. All of my splits were within 20 seconds of each other (which the exception of one random mile that was right around 8:00...not sure how that happened). But honestly, having my Garmin with me made all the difference. If I felt like I was going super slow and struggling, having my Garmin there to tell me my pace helped so much. A lot of times when I felt like this, my pace was way faster than I expected and it gave me the mental boost I needed to realize that my "struggling" was all in my head.
Anyway, just wanted to thank you Runnit. You are part of the reason I was able to shave 10 minutes off of my previous PR from three weeks ago and get a sub-2:00 half marathon for the first time! Thanks everyone. | Using the advice of some of the members of the Runnit community, I was able to shave 10 minutes off of my previous half marathon PR from three weeks ago, and got sub-2:00 for the first time! |
t3_4limbh | relationship_advice | 18[f] wishes nothing happened between us 19[m] | My girlfriend brokeup with me because I lied about the girl i had during our break. She also went on my facebook and saw my rants and complaints about her during our relationship. Shes cheated on me before and I gave her a chance, but apparently what i did was irreconcilable. I apologise everyday to her saying I just wanted to let her know i regret my actions, but today she dropped this "I honestly wished nothing happened between us". We dated for 2 years since highschool till college(long distance). I cant help but feel that its a little bit unfair and cold that she would undermine everything we had together because of one mistake. How do I get over this, How do I get to her that I did love her so much and everything that happened was real? | GF and I broke up because she saw things she didnt like to see on my FB acc and now she wishes shes never done anything with me. |
t3_3v3txw | relationships | I [22F] developed one sided feelings for my friend [23M] and am distancing myself, how long should I do this for? | I developed feelings for a friend of mine. He is great and is literally everything I have ever wanted in a guy. He never reciprocated the feelings back. I did not admit to them, and I don't want to either because I don't want to ruin the friendship. I've been single for a long time and I know its the attention that I liked, not necessarily him (infatuation).
Right now I have been distancing myself, and he asked me why but I told him it was school related. I'm really just trying to get over him because being with him and seeing him flirt with other girls is hurtful.
Will it be possible for us to ever be friends? Should I give up on the friendship? Will I get over these feelings and settle for friendship? I don't know what to do. Please help :( | Fell for a friend, distancing myself for now but I still want us to be friends, how can I do this? |
t3_1njc99 | AskReddit | What are some modern examples of "traditional" art forms (prose, poetry, music, film, theatre, painting, sculpting) that would blow my parents and grandparents minds? | My parents are growing old and are beginning to suffer from a very common disease of their age: although they are very interested people - they read the papers, watch the news, trail the book shops, they go to the movies and even the theatre - they occasionally now voice the feeling that very little comes close in quality to what they encountered when they were my age.
Now, I am convinced that we are not only a much more culturally diverse generation that fosters art forms previously unknown (street art, improv, video games to name but a few) but also that we excel at the what I would call "traditional" media (for the lack of a better word) such as poetry or film and would win a contest of the decades hands down. I believe that the reason that there are so few defining artists or objects of art of our time (think Andy Warhol's Campbells tomato soup cans for the sixties) is not that there so few good artists, so few ingenious pieces of art but that there are too many. Help me find them and collect them, help me re-educate my parents before they become the 'lost generation'! | My parents think that we are a barbaric generation with no "culture". What are some examples that would convince them otherwise? |
t3_34gla1 | relationships | Me [28M] have been with my wife[28F] for 6years; feeling intense urge to pack up and leave normal relationship to pursue lifelong dreams unattainable in current relationship | I've been with my wife for 6 years, two years married. We've discussed kids and forever homes in the past, but as of late I'm getting an overwhelming feeling that if I don't decide to stay or go it'll never happen and I certainly don't want to have kids if I'm experiencing these feelings.
I am happy in this relationship, but feel there is still a lot of room for more happiness and also feel that some things lately have driven us apart. I'm a social person and she's more a homebody; she used to want to come out with me, but now she never wants to do things with my work friends. I catch a lot of heat now if I decide to go out with work friends and enjoy a night out, which I've done through dating, being engaged and never had problems.
I'm a nurse and she's a teacher. I've wanted to travel for nursing and medical missions, but it wouldn't be possible for her to go nor would I feel right going about and leaving her stuck at home while I'm out experiencing the world. I've also talked to her about my interest in joining the military as a reservist to help pay down my student loans and have gotten a lot of backlash.
I'm worried that I'm getting the craving to be single again(not to go date for sport),but to have no responsibilities except for my own(I know, I'm a selfish asshole). And feel that urge growing. | So my question is... Has anyone left a healthy, normal relationship to pursue dreams they know would not happen if they stayed in that relationship? And has it worked out? |
t3_1ajsh6 | dating_advice | Is my intuition right? Is she [24,F] planning to end things with me [27,M]? | We started talking almost 3 weeks ago and things immediately took off. Chemistry has been amazing from the start and things have moved at a pretty good clip. She is everything I'm looking for in someone and it's been pretty magical up to this point for both of us. After 4 dates we decided to become exclusive and on the 5th date she decided to stay the night.
While talking that night she mentioned a pet name she wanted to start calling me. It was very thoughtful and endearing but I immediately shot it down because I thought it was a little weird (both the name and the need for pet names after only 5 dates). She became really upset and left.
Since then I've given her a pretty authentic apology but she has reacted in a way that sets off alerts for me. She has talked about slowing things down to the point of "taking it one day at a time". She's making it out like we need to get to know eachother a lot more before talking about where things go from here. I WOULD abosolutely agree with that (and did), but I have a gut feeling that's not what is really going on.
We used to text throughout the day and for the past few days she has barely talked with me. When we have, the way we speak has totally changed. The spark is just completely gone, and her responses are short and pretty unemotional. I thought maybe I just needed to give her space and patience, but I'm smart enough to read the signs when they are there.
I'm not asking for moral back up. I know it was pretty crappy to refuse to be called by a pet name, even when she stated how much thought she had put into it. I'm asking for advice on where to go from here. Should I talk with her? What do I say? Do I end things first? Or do I just sit this one out and see how it unfolds? | I acted unthoughtfully when things were moving too fast. She was insulted. Things have changed for the worse, and I want to know what to do next. |
t3_41w000 | relationships | My GF [26 F] of 2 years met another guy on a recent trip and is trying to contact him. I [26 M] need advice if I should continue with this relationship. | My girlfriend and I met about 4 years ago and started exclusively seeing each other 2 years ago. We have lived together now for 6 months. Our relationship has been pretty good the past 2 years with only minor issues here and there which we have been able to work out. No problems whatsoever with infidelity. We had both been cheated on in the past and knew how it felt to have that happen. I never had doubts about my GF until last week when she went on a trip with her friends to Vegas.
My GF called me the day after a night of partying with her friends there in Vegas and told me that she danced with some guy that approached her there in the nightclub. She described him as tall and buff so I could tell there was definitely attraction, but assured me that nothing happened with him and that I could confirm that with her friends that were present. At first I wasn't that upset with her, but as time went on it started to pop back up in my thoughts.
The day after she returned things started to become problematic and awkward. Last night I caught her looking through the history on my phone which made me extremely suspicious. We then got in a fight where she mentioned that she hasn't been too happy with our relationship recently and feels that I don't care for her.
Today while she was at work I decided to look through her messages to see if I could confirm what actually happened the night she met that guy. I know this wasn't the best thing to do but I was too suspicious. Anyways, looking through her messages seemed to confirm that she didn't do anything more than dance with the guy at the club. However, I did see her friends commenting to her that she should have hooked up with him. I also saw something about her finding the guys phone number through her phone history since she hadn't saved it. So it looks like she is trying to get in contact with him.
Part of me thinks it might be best to just end the relationship but I am not sure how to proceed from here and could use some advice. | Girlfriend went on a trip and met a guy at a club and is now trying to contact him. Not sure what to do. |
t3_xtdp1 | AskReddit | I was scolded by a stranger for bike-walking my dog. Does Reddit think it was justified? | EditEdit: My question is also intended to inspire opinions in general about walking your dog with a bike. | Woman scolds me for bike-walking my dog properly, turns out to own cats and leaves when I confront her about it in a civilized manner despite my rage. |
t3_4j7zwp | relationships | Me [22 F] and guy I've been seeing [22 M] for a month recently graduated and are soon moving | I started seeing this guy a little over a month ago. Going into it I understood that we were both graduating from college soon and had plans to move. He wants to move across the country and I'll be moving to Africa at the beginning of October for a few years. I just figured "cool, someone to have fun with for the next few weeks, no pressure."
Things now seem very relationship-y, although we haven't established any titles or anything. I'm really starting to fall for him and consider him to be an important person in my life.
I guess I'm just looking for any advice in this situation. It's a healthy relationship and I'm sad to see it potentially end. Should I just take things one day at a time? Try to remain friends with him when we need to end things? Would it be silly for us to be open to continue dating?
Thanks! | I've been seeing a great guy for a little over a month now, but we are both moving soon. Looking for advice for this situation. |
t3_103okn | AskReddit | Everyone has heard stories of drugs ruining people's lives; but does anyone have any stories of drugs (legal or illegal) changing your life for the better? | I was recently diagnosed with adult ADD( non attentive type), anxiety, and severe OCD. After living a mostly difficult school life, I finally decided to visit a doctor to discuss my concerns regarding my serious struggles in school work and any other tasks requiring mental effort. I never really thought much of it throughout school as I just thought it wasn't for me. It wasn't until after a terrible first year university that made me decide to get checked out, which led to my diagnosis.
I was trying many medications such as zoloft, concerta, vyvance, Ritalin, and adderal. After a year of trying new stuff and having negative side effects or no noticeable results, we finally found the combination that worked for me. Adderal (to treat ADD) and Zoloft ( to treat OCD).
My life was changed- for the first time I had no OCD symptoms AND I could focus at the same time! The adderal just gives me motivation and mental energy to get stuff done. I always had interest in things but never could get around to doing them, but this changes it all. I could spend hours cleaning my room, building things, organizing, doing homework, etc.
I was finally able to take my passion and motivation for things and actually put it into action.
I find that I am so much more happy during the days. I dont know if it is the pills or if it is just me happy at my performance in everyday tasks. But honestly it doesn't matter to me because it makes me look forward to tomorrow and being productive with my life.
Anyone else have any stories of any drugs actually changing their lives for the better? | Adderal and zoloft have made me a more productive and happier person after 20 years of ADD, anxiety, and severe OCD. It sure is a great feeling. |
t3_2pe2yx | dating_advice | Finally set a date with her | Hi /r/dating_advice,
Next sunday I'm [23m] finally meeting a women [20F] I met on Tinder. Because she has really bad experience with men and Tinderdates she wanted to text for a while before meeting. We did exchange phone numbers and we've been texting for a while now (4 weeks now).
We've exchanged some Snapchat pictures (so we'd both know we're not being catfished) and we're really getting along. Last weekend a friend of her convinced her it wasn't that scary to meet me if she took her along (and I'm taking a friend along). So.. It's going down!
But it took a while to set a date, and we've been getting along really well. She started calling me honey over text and we're exchanging digital kisses. The strangest thing is that I think I really like her, even though I have yet to meet her in real life, and that's really confusing. She told me that she's having the same feelings, but that's she's confused by them too.
I'm really afraid the date is going to be extremely awkward. Do you have any tips for the date in this context? | met girl on Tinder, waited 4-5 weeks to go on a date next sunday. Both fell in love by text, haven't seen eachother yet. |
t3_1ccbqj | relationships | 21M/19F I think I have fallen out of love with my SO of 3 years, and met someone else on top of that. I really need some anonymous advice. | We live about three hours apart and have for the last two years and the distance is starting to get to me, I feel like I love my SO but I don't get the butterflies I used to. A lot of the time I am generally annoyed by the fact that we're dating because I never get to see her, and any more when I do see her it always ends up feeling like its a burden. It seems like our whole relationship has gone completely stale, I am bored with the same old jokes, the personality, sex; everything. We have talked about our problems before and tried new things but the spark just feels gone for me, and it has for months.
Recently I have become really close to a girl, lets call her Jane, that lives in my building and things are starting escalate with her. (I made the mistake of sleeping in her bed two nights this weekend, there was some kissing involved, its cheating I know, I feel terrible about it thats why I need this help) I'm torn because I see Jane everyday and she genuinely makes me happy. She is funny, smart, really sociable, beautiful; there is a lot to like.
I don't know if I should leave my SO for Jane, I think it would make me happy and it would be something new, but I don't know if I can throw away the last three years with SO. She has been there through a lot with me and I have been there for her. We are high school sweet hearts, and when the times were good they were good. Her whole family took me when mine fell apart, there is history between us and I don't know if I can just throw it all to the wind.
Also, my SO also has some self confidence issues, I think she thinks there may be no other person in the world for her other than me. If we were to separate she would be absolutely devastated, honestly I think she may try and do something stupid. At the very least if we were to break up I would like to maintain a friendship with her but I don't think It would be possible. | I need some outside anonymous advice as to what I should do; try harder to fix what feels broken, or go with something new. |
t3_241qg9 | relationships | Me [24M] my Best friend[23 M] of ten years, is having a destination wedding, and I don't want to go. Am I in the wrong? | Hey, Reddit. Maybe you can help me. My best friend is having a destination wedding and I do not want to go.
We live in the Northeast U.S. We have been best friends for over ten years. We have worked together at the same jobs, picked up the same hobbies and for a long time I considered him closer to me than my actual family.
However, as we got older things became more complicated. He found a gf. We slowly started drifting apart. I understand that is how life goes sometimes. However, his girlfriend, now fiance, dislikes me greatly. It has created a lot of tension between us. I am not a fan of her at all, but it is not my life, and my friend chose to marry her. I respect that and treat her with the respect she is due.
Basically, they want to get married in Mexico at an 'All Inclusive Resort' on the beach. Cool, more power to them. Here is where we run into problems. I only have two weeks of vacation a year, and limited money (STUDENT LOANS!!). My girlfriend is foreign (Brazil) and we already had plans to see Brazil and meet her extended family for two weeks. This wedding will throw a wrench in these plans, as I will have to use a week of vacation on this wedding. Also, he is not asking me to be his best man because his fiance does not want me in the wedding party. The fact he did not make me best man or at least an usher just makes me feel so awful.
Basically, I feel hurt that I am not his best man and feel insulted that he still invited me. I would rather not go to the wedding and head to Brazil and meet my future in-laws. Is this selfish? Am I in the wrong?
I don't want to drop $2,000 + to watch people get married on the beach and feel like an outsider. | Best friend having destination wedding. I had tentative vacation plans and would rather do those. Not in wedding party and incredibly hurt. Am I wrong to sit this one out? |
t3_4qscgu | Advice | I'm scared to move. | I'm 23 I live in a nice city in a nice flat. It's the same city I went to university in and very few of my friends stayed here after graduating, I feel I need a change but I'm terrified to make it happen. I have endless plans to move to Spain or Vietnam or wherever to teach English but the years have passed and I've never done it.
What I need is someone older than me, with that valuable life experience, to tell me what life is actually about. If I leave the UK to travel just doing whatever job I find does that mean my career is over? I can't have the house, the family etc. (this is the story my family sells me)
A bit more information about me. I graduated last year, I did a CELTA (ESL course) then I started working in marketing and have been doing that since January. I don't make much and don't have many responsibilities so i could potentially leave tomorrow - I just lack the confidence.
I know it's a bit whiny and I suppose none of this is actually a problem, that said I would still appreciate some support from somewhere as I'm not receiving any from what little family I have. | I want to leave the UK for some travel adventures but I fear that if I chose to return when I'm older I may not be able to get a decent job etc. etc. |
t3_1nctr6 | relationships | Couple of 4 months, and it feels like every time we see each other we do something sexual | Every time I (M16) see my SO (F16) in a private setting (my house, my car, her house) we always end up making out. Not that I'm complaining, but is this unnatural? I see her every week day at school and we never do anything at school, so it's not like we don't just hang out.
We usually make out for a while, I take her bra off, rub her tits for a while, till she's basically begging for me to finger her. This happens every time we are alone in a private setting.
Neither of us want our relationship to be built upon sex, but it seems like it happens too much. Is it common to feel this way? We usually hang out once a week on the weekends in a private setting. | It seems like to me that me and my gf do too many sexual things in the time that we see each other. |
t3_1n2hy8 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of three months, he's decided to keep the long distance rather than moving closer, I can't handle it anymore. | So we've been dating around three months give or take, started the whole thing long distance after meeting through a mutual friend. My first real relationship and it's going really well, but the distance thing is a lot harder than I expected. The problem (or cool thing?) is that the relationship is a lot more serious than it would possibly have been normally, solely because the distance means we focus on an emotional connection far more than the physical. It sounds weird maybe, but I did completely and accidentally fall in love with the guy.
He decided to apply for a university course in my city (a two hour flight away from his) so we could be together, meanwhile he's been accepted to the same course in his hometown as well. He was always going on about how he needs to get out and experience the world (he's a small town boy who had never left before visiting me the first time) but now he's wanting to stay there for longer?? He's been umming and ahhing about the decision for a long time (and still hasn't heard back from my city) and finally called me today and told me he was staying down there.
The problem is that it's a two year course with no guarantee that he'd get a job up here out of it. I know it sounds selfish of me to expect him to come up so I should explain that the course I'm doing right now isn't offered in his city, and any equivalent courses don't have the prestige of my university (the best in the [smallish] country). He still lives at home with his parents, doesn't pay rent etc so I know it's better for him down there. But I genuinely will not be able to handle an LDR for another two years with no confirmation that anything is going to change.
Would it be stupid of me to keep this going? He's pretty near perfect for me in every way and I don't want to end it, but how can I fix things so it works out? I just have no experience and no idea what to do and would seriously love a bit of advice. | He thinks we can do long distance for two more years, no way in hell can I handle that... what do? |
t3_197lud | relationships | I, [26F] am treating my wonderful new bf like I did to my ex-husband [31M]. How to break the cycle? | I was married for 5 years and have gotten a divorced within that last 6 months. My ex-husband was a verbally abusive person. Very manipulative and could subliminally make me feel like a worthless POS without even realizing it. Needless to say, we fought constantly and our arguments were never resolved, they just trailed off until the next one came. We spent half of our marriage not speaking to one another.
Now I am seeing another man, a polar opposite of my ex but find that an extremely small teen-tiny miscommunication drives me to blow up or ignore him, for days. I know why I did that in my marriage, it's because I didn't want to hear his voice or see his face. So now I find comfort in that in my new relationship and know if I continue to do this, he will get fed up and leave. I don't have a lot of money to shell out to shrinks or counselors so I'm just wondering if anyone has been in this type of situation. It's hard but, how do I change myself? | Had an emotionally abusive husband for 5 years and using the same defense I did with my ex against my new polar opposite bf. |
t3_53qzh8 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my fiancee [24 F] 2 years, having second thoughts about marriage | In 2014 I (Indian) met a girl (Indian) and we started dating. In 3 months we were into a relationship but in another 8 months we broke up. I was not able to get over her and we patched up again.
Being both of us coming from Indian family things went pretty fast. Her parents came to know and they gave me time till April 2016 to confirm whether I am going to marry her or not. Around May 2016 I introduced her to my family and both our family fixed our marriage on Dec 2016.
I moved in with her on August 2016. Since then I have been doubting myself with the marriage. :( I still love her but the marriage has put a lot of pressure on us. She is a very sweet person and I have no problems with her at all. However I am not ready for the marriage. For example I am not even ready to book our trip from Chicago to India for our marriage. I don't know why I don't feel excited. In fact I haven't even announced about our marriage to my close friends. I don't know what to do.
If we break up I might lose her forever at the same time I am not yet ready for marriage. I feel kind of trapped. As you know calling off the wedding is a big deal and even more disastrous for our family. :( Please help!! Thank you in advance. | Not 100% sure about marriage with fiancee. I love her and have NO problem living with her. But I fear losing her if I call off the wedding. |
t3_2u60m2 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my friend [25 F] of 6 years, traveling together and my self esteem has become destroyed. Need to act before this turns into severe depression. | I am a normal cute girl. 5"4, could stand to lose 10lbs but still in mostly good shape, no incredibly offensive or incredibly striking features, but cute. She's 5"9, great body and striking facial features. She stands out in a crowd.
Somehow this was never an issue back home, we hang out a few times a month and it's normal. I get hit on, she gets hit on, obviously the guys that go for her are better looking than the ones that go for me, but so what. We can't all look like Angelina Jolie, but if it's not rubbed in your face then why stress about it?
Except now it is getting rubbed in my face. While traveling her looks are suddenly a big fucking deal that everyone needs to point out. She gets told she is beautiful by a someone almost EVERY day. I'm not shitting you. There was one day it happened 4 times. Men, women, everybody are just enamored with her wherever we go. It's really starting to kill my self esteem. Now there have been a few times that I was talking to someone I thought was really interested in me who lost all interest when she shows up.
I'm becoming bitter and demoralized by this. I feel ugly and undesirable. What can I tell myself to stop my dying self esteem from becoming really bad depression? I guess I've never spent enough time with her on a day to to day basis to realize how differently a truly beautiful person gets treated...and it just hurts. I never realized the difference between me and her was so vast. | out traveling with friend, friend is constantly told she is beautiful and showered with attention while I'm treated like chopped liver. It's really killing my self esteem and bumming me out. |
t3_2ssu7l | relationships | My grandpa [88] passed away just before Christmas and my grandma [85] is alone in the house but won't talk about moving. | You've never seen two people more in love. My grandma and grandpa (mom's parents) were married for over 60 years. They were farmers. When they retired in 1995, they sold the farm and land, and kept a 2 acre plot for their retirement home.
Their three grown daughters (all 50-ish), including my mom, live in nearby towns. Mom and one sister live 45 minutes to the south, and the other sister is 45 minutes to the north.
Grandpa died about a month ago. Grandma is heartbroken. She cries a lot. She's mourning. We're all sad. Mom and her two sisters take turns visiting grandma, but they all have full time jobs and someone can't be there all the time -- or even most of the time.
Grandma is sharp -- she is the town gossip and knows everyone's business. She's never mixed up a name and remembers who's married to who and who lived where in her little town for the last 50 years. I usually get family news from her. She was in charge of 3x/day meds for her and grandpa -- never mixed anything up. But she's old now and slow and her joints hurt. She can't take care of the house so well and doesn't drive any more.
Grandma is lonely in the house. My mom and one sister live close to each other, and are trying to encourage grandma to move to a retirement community in the same town as them so they can all be closer together. It was talked about in the past, and grandma seemed to be OK with the idea, but now she's afraid of leaving the house.
But grandma cries whenever it comes up. She doesn't want to leave the house. She doesn't want to be alone. She's mourning, of course. But no one's really sure what to do, with grandma alone most of the time all by herself. | Now that grandpa died, grandma is alone in her house, a long drive away from her kids and grandkids. But she won't talk about moving to a retirement community. Help me know how to help my mom and grandma. |
t3_214c92 | relationships | Me [16 F] with my shy guyfriend[16 M] How do I ask a shy guy out? | I like my guy friend (A). He likes me back. Our mutual best friend (B) has been somewhat of our inbetween. She was the one who told me that A likes me and in turn she told A that I like him back. (I know that this sound childish)
A is shy and awkward, but he is comfortable around me (He won't go out with our friend group if B or I are there). We talk (at school and online) every day and we both seem to have a good time.
How do I ask a shy guy to be mine without scaring him? I know that I don't want to ask him around our friends because that may pressure him and I don't want it to be over the top. I know that I could just ask him but I don't want to blindside him.
Also, some of our friends have been pressuring us to date, which isn't cool. I don't want it to seem that I'm only asking A because of our friends. | How do I ask a shy guy to be my boyfriend without scaring him and without seeming like I'm giving into peer pressure? |
t3_3bnb25 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] of 1 year. She is sexting with ex-boyfriend who lives abroad. Need advice. | EDIT: Changing the flair doesn't work on my computer. It should be "Relationships".
I discovered this yesterday when I noticed that the name of an ex-boyfriend was high on the list of Facebook contacts, as if she'd recently talked to him. We were watching something together on her laptop and she went to the toilet, leaving her Facebook logged in.
A gut feeling prompted me to click on his name, the chat window popped up and there it was. Fairly explicit conversations about sex, him telling her to come visit and fuck him in his new bed, etc etc. I had about two minutes to look through it and I was able to establish this started about three days ago. Not wanting to read any more of it, I closed the window. I elected not to confront her about it right then and there, pretended everything was alright and had an (admittedly) nice evening with her that night when we went out to meet some of my friends.
Do I confront her about this? As far as I could tell, the conversation between her and her ex had tapered off yesterday and when he asked if she wanted to see him, she didn't give a definitive answer. I feel pretty fucking bad about it, but the fact that he lives abroad and they hadn't talked in months before that makes me question what to do, or how serious this is. | GF started sexting with ex-BF who lives abroad three days ago, I discovered it last night; wat do? |
t3_359of3 | tifu | TIFU by being generous | This just happened, and i still have no words for it. Sorry for long post, and this is my first time posting here :)
After school I went off with my 'o' levels friends who had been waiting for almost an hour, because their stream had mid-year exams and were dismissed early, while the IB boys still had normal curriculum. Just then it poured cats, dogs, every animal you could think of. Wearing the school long pants, it was fully drenched and cold. They too got drenchef because they waitted for me. But that was not the FU yet.
...Fast forward...
I was in a bus, after school, in uniforms that were soaking wet from the rain, holding onto my umbrella and some homemade sweets that my grandmother received and gave to me. This teen chinese girl, was to alight at her stop. She moved two heavy bags of groceries(or what it looked like) to the exit of the bus. She tapped her card, and then moved another mini trolley that had 3 cartons of coke cans. All of them were pretty heavy. She scanned around and spotted a young, teen, meatty guy, which was me, and emplores me to help her. Being the generous person i was, i proceeded to help her. I took out my earpieces and held them in my left hand along with my umbrella and bag of sweet ladoos. Using my right hand i carried the trolley down the bus. I did know the straphooks were not well secured because i just saw her quickly pushing the cartons in place. Yet, i carry it slanted and i just topple all three cartons onto the busstop and under thr bus, where the riad road was wet. I immediately go all apologetic and went to carry all the individual cartons back. By doing so i drop my earpiece, umbrella and ladoos on the wet ground. She too apologised and the bus was waiting for me to get back in, and everyone was watching the ordeal. I picked everything that was mine up and went back inside, and again i drop my ladoos and stepped it. Thank got the plastic bag prevented any ladios from rolling out. I proceed to stand and have the whole bus stare at me for the remaining journey . | caused friends to be drenched and cold, and afterwards tossed a girl's carton of cans out of the bus when trying to help, and almost destroyed my grandma's sweets in the process |
t3_1hzh4b | Pets | Advice about spending time with my cat? | I have a super-friendly 3 year old female cat, who I adopted from the humane society about 6 months ago. No other roommates. I'm a grad student, but I try to work relatively normal work hours- 9-5 or 10-6, usually. I've noticed that my cat sleeps most of the afternoon on the weekends anyway, so I don't think that this is much of an issue.
The problem is, I have a long-term boyfriend that I stay with pretty often. He lives in the same neighborhood as me, and we've been dating for 2 years, but we aren't planning to live with each other anytime soon. We usually alternate staying nights over at each others' places, although sometimes we'll skip a night, etc. Since we're both working regular workdays, this seems to be the best way to see each other that we've come up with.
My question is, do you think it's ok that I leave my cat alone every other night to stay with my boyfriend? I always spend a few hours after work with her regardless, and I check on her and play with her in the morning every day before I go to work even when I'm at his apartment. She still seems happy enough, and hangs out and/or plays with me when I'm at home, but I just want to make sure that I'm giving her the care she needs. If this seems like not enough time, do you have any suggestions for how I can improve the situation? | I have a 3 year old cat, I've been staying over at my boyfriend's place every other night, feeling somewhat anxious about it. |
t3_3anmsk | relationships | Me [17 M] ended things with my girlfriend [17 F] of 6 months but don't know if i should go back or not | So I've been dating this girl for six months and decided to end things with her yesterday because I thought I just lost the feelings I had for her. It was the hardest thing I've ever done simply because iv'e never been the one to end things and seeing her cry was one of the worst things I've ever experienced. She kept on telling me in tears how she wanted me to be happy and that if this was what made me happy then I should end it. She has a lot of feelings for me and isn't taking it the best.
I haven't had her off my mind since it happened and I feel like I miss her, I may want to get back with her and make things right but then again I don't want to hurt her all over again if things don't work. I still care about how she feels and seeing her be this upset bothered me.
I'm also afraid that if I decide to move on that i'll never have something as perfect with anyone else. Or find anyone else for that matter. I hate knowing that I'm alone.
I feel like an asshole saying that I'm not overly attracted to her but she has an amazing personality, basically I left her because I thought i could find someone better, someone who is more fun and outgoing since I'm the adventure/go have a blast type person. | Left my girlfriend for no reason other than I thought I lost the feelings I had for her, now I miss her slightly. Should I go back and risk hurting her again or should I move on and try to find someone else? |
t3_1dlw2u | dating_advice | Shy guy (21) needs serious help with complicated dilemma | I severely lack self-confidence and have been awful with expressing intimacy practically my entire life. Anytime I get with a girl I either push things too far and eventually embarrass myself, or not enough and end up wedging myself firmly in the friendzone.
Now, I've met this girl (19) who I'm really into. Problem is, neither of us are good at taking charge since she's about as shy as I am. We get along really well, we chat frequently, and we even flirt and talk about sex occasionally, but neither of us have made any serious moves on the other.
To make matters even crazier, she's in a semi-serious relationship with another girl (who is also ridiculously shy), of whom I'm also pretty cool with and am also into. They've been friends forever and there's no tearing them apart, which I would never want to do. But whenever we hang out, it's in a group setting, which makes me even more afraid of expressing any sort of intimacy towards either of them. I do know for a fact that they both dig me in "that way," but I have no idea if that just means I'm their FWB or what.
So my questions to you guys are; How do I break the shyness barrier without feeling like a massive creep?; How do I figure out if they see me as just a FWB playmate or hopefully something more?; And how do I go about expressing the idea, without it blowing up in my face, that I'd be interested in all three of us maybe dating each other? | I'm shy and interested in a shy girl couple. They both dig me. How do I express interest in dating them both? |
t3_4mu5zw | dating_advice | [27f] uncomfortable.. is it me or him?[27M] | So I'm going to try and be short and sweet.
I recently starting see Marcus, we've been on a handful of dates. I met his friends already. He is very vocal about how he feels about me. If I asked him to be exclusive right now I know the answer would be yes. He seems ready to jump into 'relationship mode'. He is very attentive, a gentleman, he says/does all the right stuff. I wasn't feeling good and he was so caring and comforting and it make me uncomfortable. Honestly, I am so used to guys being jerks/withholding their feelings that the fact he is so open about his is putting me off. I'm not sure if the issue is with me or if it's with him.
In the past I've dated guys that end up being jerks (think narcissistic or guys that enjoy the chase). There is something about their personalities that has attracted me to them, though I cannot put my finger on what it is. I would've killed for them to be excited and eager to see me all the time. However, Marcus is eager and perfect on paper yet I am really put off by it. I honestly don't know how to respond when he says nice things to me.
What is wrong with me? I can't figure out if I'm just uncomfortable because I'm not used to it or because I am genuinely not attracted to him. Like I said, he's caring, attentive, chivalrous, handsome, looking for the same things I am... BUT I am battling with how I feel about him because with the jerks I've dated I get these crazy butterflies, I feel giddy, I feel that spark. I am having a hard time feeling that with Marcus. I want to feel it but I dont know if the connection is off or Im just too screwed up in the head :/
I know this is super vague, I am having a very hard time explaining the situation so if I need to clarify anything let me know.. | I date jerks that give me butterflies, met a nice guy and I am hesitant. What's wrong with me? |
t3_3mvt8o | legaladvice | [MA] Fighting a landlord's deduction schedule on a returned security deposit. | Hello /r/legaladvice!
**Background:** I'm a student in Boston, MA who paid to rent an off-campus apartment for the past two years. Our landlord was pretty invisible during my stay except for a little, as-needed maintenance and the occasional strongly-worded email targeting other groups of students living in the complex. I graduate in December, so I moved out in August to avoid signing another inflexible one-year agreement in favor of on-campus single-semester housing.
My roommates and I were prepared to expect some unwarranted deductions from our security deposit. Ultimately, we were charged $700 from our initial $2700 security deposit, some of it well-deserved and others unreasonable, though we don't have any proof to debate the charges. Lessons learned, which I fully appreciate.
That all said, we were charged $300 to paint over the walls in one of the bedrooms. The photos provided by the landlord show discoloration where gray paint was presumably used to cover marks on beige walls. We do not have our own photos from when we first moved into the apartment, but that was the condition in which we received the apartment. What we *do* have is an email that I sent the landlord upon moving in that specifically points to this discoloration on some of the walls, to which he replied that he would not repaint them as it was, and I quote, "a natural depreciation item".
**Questions:** Am I right to push back on this $300 charge? I understand we should've taken photos, but is our email exchange from two years ago enough grounds to demand that the painting of the walls be removed from the deductions schedule? Am I missing any details in this case that I could use to leverage my position against the landlord? | Being charged my security deposit for the conditions of an apartment that existed when I first moved in, and I have a bit of evidence to support that. How do I proceed? |
t3_2bkjfs | relationships | I [19M] am having problems seeing a future with my long distance girlfriend[18F].. what is the best way to settle it? | We've been together for a bit over a year, and the last time we've seen each other was less than a week ago... though that isn't the issue.. the issue is, we're both from Saudi Arabia, from different cities and we study at two different countries, marriage traditions here are usually that a guy comes, talks to the parents THEN talks to the girl for the first time if the parents agree, so obviously, her parents don't know and we're keeping this private till I graduate, so I could propose, if we make it that far.. now the issue is, a guy came and proposed though was rejected by her parents, thankfully.. though that opened the possibility of other guys proposing, assuming her parents don't reject future guys, she can't reject every single one of them.. that would make things suspicious.. so that brings up the possibility of her talking to other guys and possibly marrying one before I get a chance... I am in a state of confusion right now.. do I keep going? Do I not? Is it worth the risk? I love her, but if she ends up liking and getting engaged to another guy, i'll be the one who really suffers at the end.. I'm lost here, I don't know what to do and I don't know if I should keep going.. any advice? | me and my gf have been together for more than a year though marriage traditions may get in the way... I don't know if I should risk things or be safe and end it |
t3_36dvye | relationships | I (21/f) want to ask my ex (34/m) out for drinks. Too soon? | Let's call him Travis. We broke up about 2 1/2 weeks ago after dating for 2 months. Right before him, I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship so you can say he was a rebound. Travis and I had a very intense connection and great chemistry when we first started talking. Everything between us happened considerably fast. We casually dated for about a month before he asked me to be his gf then a month into the relationship he told me he was in love with me. Before me, his last gf was 4 years ago. I didn't understand his rush and it scared me. The last 2 or so weeks of our relationship, I realized he was becoming very quiet and hard to talk to. Anytime we had a conversation that had something to do with getting to know each other, he would shut down. It started to frustrate me that I have someone here saying they're in love with me but gave little to no effort in getting to know who that person was. I broke it off on grounds that I felt he was emotionally unavailable and lacked in communication. Mind you, before breaking up, I did talk to him about it and gave him chances to try but it wasn't in him...which is fine, I don't want anyone to change for my sake..but not what I'm looking for and didn't want to waste our time.
We had a pretty clean break up with no hard feelings and decided we should still be friends. He bartends at a bar I regularly go in to as well so it's hard not to see him. One thing I did notice is that he unfollowed me on social media..I found this to be strange since he's still good friends with all of his exes and past flings. I wondered what made me so different…I know SM is super insignificant but maybe not? Maybe he *is* hurt? You tell me.
I still have my things at his place and vice versa. Since we left off as friends..would it be weird to ask him out for drinks so we can catch up and exchange our things? I think maybe without the pressures of a relationship, we can still have a good time and talk like we did before the relationship. | Ex and I broke up a couple weeks ago. I still want to be friends considering we dated such a short amount of time. Would it be weird to ask him out for drinks? |
t3_2m9iba | relationships | Not sure where to take my (19M) relationship (just friends) with religious (18F) | Disclaimer, shit grammar and formatting ahead, sorry.
Alright so I've been talking to this girl for quite some time now. We first started talking about two years ago or so but it's been on and off since I had moved away.
Interestingly enough, the tables have kind of turned since we started talking. I was the most devout Christian there was and even though she was as well, I remember her questioning things like having a personal relationship with God and such. Somewhere along the line (I guess while not talking too much) I dropped my Christian beliefs and she found faith that she seemed to have been slightly lacking.
Anyway, regardless of our beliefs talking to her has always felt very natural to me, it seems like we really hit it off! I definitely have feelings for her that go further than just friends and I honestly think she does for me too. I just don't know if I can get past her belief system, hell I don't know if she can get past mine. Should I try to take this past the friend level and see what happens? My heart is pulling me towards her but my mind is saying stay the fuck clear. | Has feelings towards friend who quite possibly shares them, don't know if I should pursue a relationship considering our religious discrepancies. |
t3_3ojw6w | relationships | A new (>2 weeks) love interest(23/F) and myself (23/M) are incredibly compatible, and I don't want to fuck it up royally. | Here's the skinny:
My history with relationships is, simply put, a history of screwing up. The timeline of my love life has very large gaps, interrupted by incredibly brief (often less than one month) attempts at solidifying a potential relationship, only to watch them burn in the flames of my own over-zealousness and crippling fear of dying alone - I make too many early and overly romantic gestures, and I do/say very relationship-age-inappropriate things, because part of me wants very much to be in a serious relationship IMMEDIATELY.
This time, things are going incredibly well. The woman and I are compatible on seemingly every level (she's been very receptive, even after learning that I'm a virgin), and each day we spend together is make-you-want-to-puke wonderful.
That said, she just initiated the "I don't want to take things too quickly" conversation earlier this evening, with the disclaimer that it was in an entirely positive context. Now, as you probably could have guessed, this language scares the ever living fuck out of me, given my history of screwing things up in that very fashion.
Despite my nerves, I managed to be receptive, and deep down, I very much agree with the sentiment.
So, Reddit, how do I do it? | We're in a new relationship and incredibly compatible/attracted to one another, but I don't know what it means to take things slow because I've never not fucked up a relationship by jumping in too quickly. What do? |
t3_2v6p48 | relationship_advice | My SO's [28/f] work related stress is eating away at our relationship... what can I [33/m] do? | Hi, I'm [33/m] really worried about the state of my relationship with my SO [28/f]. She is very ambitious in her professional life and is currently in a sales management position with a lot of pressure to deliver results. We have been together for about 6 months and ever since she was promoted I feel we have been going downhill. We are not living together and due to very long hours at her work, we barely see each other 2 or 3 times a week. She says she is tired most of the time and not in the mood for anything except going home straight to bed after work. And even on weekends, sometimes she just wants to be left alone and sleep most of the day.
She has said in the past she needs someone that knows how to help and support her without being asked. But, to be honest I am lost. I am a very calm personality type and if I am told she wants to be alone, I let her be.
I try to make our time together as enjoyable as possible, it mostly consists of listening to her problems though. I have planned spa treatments and dinner dates to try to get her mind off of work related issues. Very recently I convinced her to go to the gym with me and we started going together 3 mornings a week which has been nice but other than that, everything seems to gravitate back to the same state after very short periods of time.
I am feeling a little unappreciated and lonely, but when we talk about her problems, she has mentioned that she is glad that at least she doesn't have to deal with relationship problems on top of her work problems so I end up hiding my feelings. I am not sure what to do. | My SO has been working so hard it doesn't leave her enough energy for much else and I can't share my negative feelings about the situation because I want to be supportive. |
t3_1y7268 | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [20m] of 2 years follows 5+ girls on Facebook who post nudes daily | Hey, I've never posted on here before so I'm not how much detail I'm meant to give, sorry if it's long.
I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and recently I've noticed on his newsfeed there are pictures of naked girls asking for "bored pm's." I asked him about it because I feel like we are pretty open with each other and he told me he follows them because they "are so slutty it is funny." For some reason, I just can't grasp that concept. It makes me uncomfortable that he'd do that. Not only that but friends have also noticed and have been asking about his "recently added friends." It's so embarrassing because most actually are feel sorry for me. (Regardless if friends noticed or not I'd still be this upset.)
I don't mind if he watches porn, it's normal, but him following girls on facebook like that regardless if he knows them personally is hugely upsetting for me.
Sorry that this is long, but some more background info - when we first got together he had a folder on his computer of his ex's (as you can imagine it was pretty explicit.) He openly told me about the folder and I openly admitted it made me upset. To be fair he did ask me if I wanted him to delete it because "if you want me to delete it I will." Although part of me hoped that he would WANT to delete it, not be MADE to because I gave him orders. Anyway, he eventually deleted it and realised my point of view so I'm so confused and agitated as to how he thinks him following these girls on facebook won't upset me?
Am I over-reacting? I'd really like some advice because I know already I'm a tad over sensitive but I just want to clarify if I'm being too sensitive in this particular situation. | Boyfriend gets updates daily on any newly uploaded nudes of girls he follows on Facebook, am I right to be upset? |
t3_4dnk5p | relationships | Me [22 F] with my dad [53 M], were at extreme loggerheads | basically this last month or so he has literally began to ignore me and be really shitty towards me for no reason (I made them easter cards and he literally just turned his nose up at it). I have barely spoke to him and argued a lot less this last month so I have no idea why he is being like this when there has been nothing to cause it
I have depression, anxiety etc. and my family are not supportive at all, but lately I have been doing better and not let things take a hold of me as a means to not cause an argument with my family
however about an hour ago, I had an argument with my mum as I'm having a down day and my dad got involved after my mum accused me of breaking something (they accuse me of breaking everything in the house even when they have no evidence of it), my mum then went into their room and I could hear my dad slagging me off telling me I'm not worth it and how he doesn't want me to live here and how he never wants to see me again and how I'm pathetic and that I should be lucky I'm living here
then he goes and does this fake "nicey nicey" bullshit to all the other people in my house and my brothers partners, it makes my fucking skin crawl cause I know what hes truly like
I really dont know what to do, I would move out in a heartbeat but I have no money saved up and I think if I ever moved out me and my dad would just end estranged and we would end up disowning eachother | dads started being a dick to me and ignoring me for no reason, says he wants me out the house but I have no money to go anywhere |
t3_y9b26 | relationships | I [20/f] don't know what to do with my SO [26/m] and his online chats. | **Backstory:**
A few days ago, one of his friends thought it would be funny to go into his laptop and change a few things. What that person also did was go through all of his messages, emails, and chats.
I didn't find out about it until much later. Everyone was home and I was alone with the laptop. The minute I open it up, I see a picture of a naked man in bubbles. Every application was open, including his yahoo messenger.
**The issue:**
He had so many chats with different women. Some of them he was pretending to be a girl living in California, claiming he is a lesbian and wanting pictures of the other girls. The most recent ones are him being honest with the people and telling him where he lives, his background, etc.
He tells the girls of all of the explicit things he wants to do with them. He tells them things he has never done with me. It hurts me to know that he rarely has sex with me, but he does this late at night when he's home alone.
The next day I told him what happened with his laptop and he starts yelling when I tell him I am mad for what he did. He starts claiming that they were old messages, but I know they weren't. I stopped the argument and just let it go.
The relationship has been very rocky, and we have just decided to restart everything. I didn't want to get in a big fight because I do want to work things out with him.
Reddit, I am really hurt by this, but should I be? Is it a big deal? He is not physically cheating. Should I just get over it and brush it off or make a big deal about it? | My boyfriend gets on chatrooms and starts messaging girls, telling them all of the things he wants to do with them. He lied to me about it when confronted, and I don't know what to make of it. |
t3_1equjr | relationships | I [17m] can't get over my first love [18F]. | I fell in love with this girl about 2.5 years ago. We had a lot of problems with her vein unfaithful and I was very much walked over throughout the entire relationship. We broke up almost three months ago, I started dating a new girl almost a month ago. Up until recently, my ex and I wouldn't talk to each other. Now that we have, I can see that I still care about her a great deal.
I care about her a lot, but I don't think I want a relationship with her. Well, I do but I want a relationship where nothing went wrong. The problem I'm having now is that I feel required to know everything she's done. I just want to know because I want to know everything about her and make sure she's not getting hurt but the things she's done hurt me.
I understand that she is a single person and can make her own decisions but I still feel upset and can't bring myself to rationalize that idea. She's gone out to parties and done what she wants with who she wants and I've found a new girlfriend who's head over heels for me.
But all this ex discussion makes me feel like shit and contemplate if I even like this new girl and I don't know what to do or how to cope. Last week I had felt the best I had in over a year. Now I feel like rock bottom. | I care a lot about my first love and it just hurt me more than it helps me. How do I cope? |
t3_ie741 | AskReddit | Starting to date a bi girl who hasn't been with a guy in 5 yrs. What do I do so I don't screw up that special night? | Setup: I knew this girl 10 years ago when I was in college. We lost contact, randomly saw each other at a mutual friend's house and recently started talking. She's the sweetest kindest girl ever and we both have a lot in common with regard to how we view the world. She then asked me if she thought we had physical chemistry. To be honest, I didn't even think about it because I've never dated a bisexual girl before. She said that she considers herself more lesbian than bi but for whatever reason is attracted to me. I know things are going to get physical because we both really like each other a lot. As much as I'd love to rip her clothes off and pound her until she's a tenderized filet mignon, I know that due to anatomical reasons she's probably not used to it and I don't want to make it an unpleasant experience for her. So reddit any advice, experience, tips, Game Genie hacks that might help me out when this night comes? | starting to date a bi girl who hasn't been with a guy in like 5 years. How do I approach that special night when things get physical? |
t3_3i710r | relationships | Am I (26 M) being overly paranoid in a long distance relationship (25 F)? | I'm pretty new to doing the whole long distance relationship thing, and things have been going pretty well since it started (4 months or so), but some things have happened lately and I just wanted to get a second opinion.
Essentially, we used to Skype every day in order to catch up on how things are going, chat about life, talk about when we'll get to see each other, pretty much the same ol' same ol'. Recently, she's started to tell me about this mutual acquaintance (24/M) of ours who we've seen more of lately, and how the two of them have started talking online. She has reassured me that he's harmless, and pretty much tells me what they've talked about lately, but in the past few days, the two have them have watched a movie together while on Skype, talked for hours and hours during the day, and text constantly.
I do trust her when she says he's harmless, but the time they spend together has greatly infringed on the amount of time she and I get to talk as well, to where I'm essentially "picking up the scraps" after he goes to bed or is at his own job or whatnot. I also found out tonight that he essentially admitted that he has feelings for her, and while she said she dismissed it, the fact that she continues to talk and interact with him for hours during the day has me concerned.
I brought up this fact to her tonight, and she essentially told me that it was all in my head, but she's now upset at me and won't text or call me back. Was I justified in bringing this up and being upset at her for it? Like I mentioned in the beginning, I'm pretty new to the whole long distance relationship thing, and I don't want to infringe on her being able to make friends and hang out with them, but this seems to be going a little overboard, at least to me. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks! | In a long distance relationship for the first time, girlfriend seems to be getting a little too cozy with a mutual acquaintance, am I being too paranoid? |
t3_2p7o5v | relationships | [Breakups] My (18m) ex(17f) and I are trying to be friends, but she continually pushes me away, especially now that she's having home issues. | My ex and I started our relationship while we were best friends with the agreement should we break up we would remain best friends.
Now she is going through serious life changes and troubles, and When we try to talk she always ends up throwing the things that made her break up with me in my face, or shutting me down in the conversation completely. (I believe this is from stress)
I'm just trying to be the best friend I am, but keep making the wrong moves, and saying the wrong things(regarding this high stress situation) I don't know if I need a lesson in being a friend, or if she honestly resents me.
I don't want to just totally cut her off to give her space (she still considers me her best friend) But I also don't want to add to her stress more so than when we were in the relationship. | My ex is going through a lot of home issues. I just want to have a conversation with her, but it always goes south. I don't know if this is due to stress and if I should back off completely. |
t3_22p88e | relationships | Me [20 M] haven't been able to feel love since my first relationship | When i was 18 I had finally gotten my first girlfriend who was 17 which made me the happiest id ever been even though she lived an hour and a half away. We were a seemingly oddly perfect match. We shared almost all the same interests, same morbid and offensive sense of humor, hell we even looked similar aside from height. We were in a relationship for a year and then she dumped me so she could pursue someone else. I dont hold a grudge because i understand long distance relationships dont have a high success rate.
Pretty much since she left me i have felt an overwelming emptiness that other women cant match up to. Ive been in 2 relationships since and i just havent felt that "wow, she is perfect" feeling. i go through them without feeling genuine fufillment. I want to believe i will feel that amazing feeling again but i have a worry that i just took the first breakup so hard that it made me cold. | Im just curious if anyone can relate to a bad first breakup and others not matching up or knows if this is just something that will change eventually. |
t3_rx7a6 | relationships | Boyfriend is subscribed to r/Seduction. Not a fan of this. | 22/f, 23/m. We're both redditors, but this is a throwaway. We've been dating for 9 months.
I was at my BF's house just having a relaxing day, laying on his bed browsing the interwebs. He was going through his reddit front page and I noticed he's subscribed to r/seduction. He said that he's subscribed to it to better himself, to be more confident and likable. He jokingly said if it weren't for r/seduction, he wouldn't have gotten me.
I'm a little peeved that he's subscribed to the subreddit, mostly because I don't like pick-up artists. I don't like how they try to attract women. He's assuring me that it's not all about that. Browsing through it myself, I can't help but see a lot of misogyny. Yeah, some stuff is about confidence building, but I don't think it's right how they do it.
Am I right to ask him to unsubscribe to it? I wouldn't have a problem with it if he's single, but he has me, so I feel he doesn't need to try to pick up anyone anymore. Also, I guess I should ask how anyone would feel if their SO was part of that subreddit? | boyfriend is subscribed to r/Seduction. Makes me feel he still tries to pick up women, uses it for information on confidence, and I don't buy it. |
t3_3re3re | tifu | TIFU by thinking it was the wrong time | First, a little background. Monday, November 2nd was the class withdrawal deadline for my college. Anything after this date is considered an incomplete/failure. I had been debating all day whether or not I wanted to drop a class I had been struggling with, as my parents told me if I didn't do well this semester they would be taking me out of college (they indirectly pay for my college as they bought me a Florida prepaid plan when I was a child and I've also been using the leftovers from my siblings prepaid plans).
Now, onto the f^(*)ck up. The end of daylight savings time (fall back an hour) happened this past weekend. I had been out of town over the weekend, and had noticed earlier in the day on Monday that my roommates never changed the time on our oven clock, and I felt way too lazy to do it, so I just left it. Later in the night I was sitting in our living room watching my favorite show Cops, and kept glancing at the time on the oven clock. Around 12:30 (thinking it was 11:30) I thought ya know what, I'm gonna drop the class. I get up and go to my room to fetch my laptop and check my phone when I notice it says 12:30. I pause. Then, I gasp very loudly (my friends claim I gasp at everything and it scares the sh^(*)t out of them always) and scream at the top of my lungs "HOLY F^(*)CKING SH^(*)T, JESUS H. CHRIST KILL ME NOW" exact quote, kid you not, and I'm Jewish lol. Turns out one of my roommates must've changed the clock while I was away at class. Welp. Guess I'm gonna keep Physics 2 then. | Thought my oven clock was an hour ahead, it wasn't, causing me to miss the deadline to withdraw from a college class. |
t3_1ngiqa | AskReddit | Should I move back to my hometown to save some money, downside being it is further from work? | So, currently I live in an apartment that is roughly 35 miles from work, in the town I went to college, takes about 1 hour, on average, to get to/from work each way. The cost of bills including rent, electric, water, car, insurance, etc, takes about about 3/4's of my monthly salary. Leaving with barely anything to save, I basically skim by each month.
My friend offered I move in with him(2 bedroom apartment), back in my hometown. Which is ~65 miles away, an hour to work and 1 & 1/2 hours back, including tolls. I am able to work from home about 2 days a week. So I'd be able to save a little more than 1/2 of my monthly salary this way, since rent and utilities would be cut in half.
I have a little list of Pro's and Cons..
Pros:
* Cheaper rent, utilities, etc (Increased savings)
* Previously I lived alone, enjoyed having a roommate previously, especially someone I trust.
* Closer to home (parents are divorced, so I like to give my mother company as she lives alone), about 5 minutes away.
* Able to telecommute 2 days a week.
Cons:
* Increased drive to and from work. (More mileage on car)
* Further distance from girlfriend, though possibly I could stay one night at her place during the week. | Should I move back to hometown, with a friend, in order to save roughly half of my monthly salary, but with an increased distance from work? Where as currently I barely skim by living paycheck to paycheck. |
t3_53p6l0 | legaladvice | [Baton Rouge, LA] Wrote negative online review and reported business to the BBB. Business is trying to threaten slander | Long story short, my AC quit working. I have a home warranty and they sent someone out from "H Company AC". The AC tech flat out lied to my Fiancee. They reported my Lines were leaking, I was missing a filter dryer, and other issues. They quoted me over $2k to fix and home warranty wouldn't cover. I contacted them and the owner was very insulting over the phone informing me that the filter dryer was the cause of my issue. I had contacted other AC companies and they confirmed that was a lie. The owner told me to contact the company that made my AC (carrier). I did so and spoke with a tech. He told me that the owner was lying. The owner was livid when I called him back. He was supposed to return my call and never did. The home warranty company sent a 2nd tech out. The 2nd tech found NO leaks or other issues reported by H company AC. I was low on freon. I wrote negative online reviews and said that they were "crooks" and "degenerates" for trying to take advantage of me and lying about my issues. I also reported them to the BBB for dishonesty. They have sense updated my BBB complaint with the following:
While we respect the fact a person can write a review stating his opinion of our services, he cannot call us "crooks" and "degenerates" without proof. Therefore, we are forwarding his reviews to Google and the BBB to our attorney for review to see if these comments are actionable under the slander and libel laws of the State of Louisiana. Further, we are forwarding his abusive comments to [home warranty company]."
I have also noticed they seem to say things similar to all negative reviews online. But, does this have any "teeth"? Aren't online reviews protected by the 1st Amendment? | Called a lying AC company crooks and degenerates in an online review, they posted a comment on my review about legal action for slander. |
t3_n0rps | AskReddit | What's your craziest "I got drunk" story? | Mine is Freshman year of High School, I went to a New Year's party and, naturally, it was crazy. Girls hooking up with girls, bedrooms being used for sex, lots of alcohol; the list goes on. I am not the coolest kid in my grade, so it was the first party I had been to. Essentially what I'm trying to say is that I was a lightweight whereas most other kids were fairly heavyweight (for a Freshman). I got wasted after like, a beer and two shots. According to my friends, I tried to hook up with a girl from out of town, got pushed away, and the quick movement made me nauseous. I almost threw up, and ended up passing out for a few minutes on the floor. When I woke up, I was still drunk, but could at least remember and think straight. I walked away, shook it off, and attempted to enjoy my night, despite being incredibly embarrassed.
Luckily, I didn't get harassed about it because most of the kids in my grade thought it was the ballsiest thing they'd ever seen. | I got drunk, played my luck with a girl from out-of-town, passed out, and was worshipped for it. |
t3_28xuin | tifu | TIFU By kissing my friends girlfriend. | We were at her house for a party (her parents and extended family were there also, so nothing frisky was going on). We were all pretty drunk personally, I was near blackout drunk. (I remember the night, just not specific details or reasons for my judgement). Needless to say, they were on a bench outside and I came out and started talking and the conversation continued and I ended up asking her boyfriend if I could kiss her on the forehead and he goes "sure, iamadumb-ass. You're a good guy, go ahead. So I kiss her on the forehead and don't think very much of it. Then I woke up. And that was the one thing that just hung over my head for the next two days. I just talked to her today about it and apologized, which she said that it was simply a friendly kiss on the forehead and we were drunk and it happens. My problem is that A) I'm very particular about relationships and I believe that I had absolutely no business doing anything like that and was completely out of line. And B) what kind of ass hat asks a guy if they can kiss their girlfriend? Needless to say, I just feel like I betrayed them both even though she doesn't hold anything against me. | asked friend if I could kiss his girlfriend, he said yes and I kissed her. I now feel like an asshat. |
t3_17xrmj | AskReddit | Reddit, have you ever had to tell one of your best friends/ roomates that you didn't want to live with them? | My 4 flatmates and I were all best friends before we moved in together. After a couple of weeks, we immediately started to drift apart, fight, etc.. It's a pretty typical situation, except for the fact that there is only one girl in our house who we feel we can not live with next year. She's overly-anal, etc. etc. The problem is, she is a great friend. She is probably one of the best friends I will ever have, I just can't live with her.
She is going to be absolutely devastated and doesn't have anyone to live with next year. I feel absolutely terrible putting her in this position because she definitely doesn't deserve it. I know I have to think of my own happiness when it comes to my living situation, but I can't shake the feeling that I am doing the wrong thing.
ANY advice would be greatly appreciated. | The best friend that I will probably have is super annoying as a roommate and I don't know how to tell her I don't want to live with her without destroying our friendship. |
t3_23h79w | relationship_advice | My boyfriend [18/m] and I [18/f] are slowly losing interest in each other. | I really love my boyfriend of 2 years and I have a hard time understanding how our relationship has evolved in time and what is best for both of us. This is my (and his) first serious relationship. We still love each other and have a great time, but not as much as when we got together.
At first I told myself I was going to take it easy, as I tend to sink in a relationship and care more about my partner than I care about myself. During the first year we became so close that we spent every day together, and he wanted to spend more and more time with me. At this time I felt loved, like he loved me as much as I loved him, or even more. Everything was amazing, we had only a couple minor arguments and we always talked them through.
Then his parents got divorced and he became bitter, but between us things hadn't changed at all. I tried my best to support him and we talked openly about everything he was going through, for which he was very thankful. We were deeply in love and felt our relationship was perfect.
In the last few months I started to feel really sad, understanding that we sometimes get bored when we are together. He told me that he didn't mind, he was happy to spend time together, even doing nothing. We talked about it, and only then he realized that he was slowly losing interest in me. He felt bad about it, because he loved me, so he hoped things will get better. He sincerely told me it wasn't my fault. At times I got bored too, and remembering how much love I felt back then, I got really really sad. We almost broke up because he couldn't stand knowing he hurt me, but we promised each other to make things right again, because our love was worth it. Now everything is great, we don't get bored anymore, but sometimes I feel like I give him more love than he can give me. We love each other, we don't want to break up, but we also want the best for each other. | I feel that our relationship is unbalanced, that I give more, but we love each other too much to break up and believe we can make things right. |
t3_hc5xl | AskReddit | Today my little sister found out she is pregnant. Now what? | She's 20, I'm 21, she's living with two of her friends in an apartment. Our father (who raised us alone since the age of 10 and 11 respectively) JUST moved to Ohio less than 2 weeks ago. She found out last night at the hospital, they did a blood test after she came in with bad stomach cramps and feeling extremely nauseous.
She wants to keep the baby, I told her that I would support her choice, no matter what it was. We told our older brother, called our father and told him, and lastly told our mother. Problem there is that my mother is extremely racist and the baby's father is black (we're white). My mother took it better than we expected, but after I dropped off my sister at her apartment, my mom said that she didn't think she'd be very involved with the baby due to it being half-black.
I told my mom that I was gonna love the crap out of that baby and I hoped she would too.
I'm kind of ranting here, sorry. I just want to know what I should do next to help her out. I told her I'd take her to the WIC office and help her get that and medicaid so that she would have insurance while she's pregnant. We're supposed to do that tomorrow.
I guess I'm just in shock right now. She was a party girl in high school, so I kind of expected her to get pregnant then since all of her friends did. She was starting college (just finished her first semester) and she has a steady job, so I don't know how to feel right now. I'm excited to be an aunt, and I think she'll be a great mom. I guess I just don't know what else to do right now.
Moms/dads of Reddit, what are some helpful things people did for you when you were expecting? What are some books she might find helpful? I guess I'm just asking for tips here. She's 4 weeks along, by the way. | My little sister is preggers, she was starting to get a steady life together. I'm excited, but feel really weird otherwise. Tips/advice? |
t3_4p18tz | relationship_advice | [21/M] - girlfriend wont stop talking to other guys | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over six months. Everything has been going well for a while now despite some previous issues but lately she keeps upsetting me by talking to other guys. A few weeks ago, she started talking to a sugar daddy despite me telling her not to. She received about $500 from before telling me and when I found out, I nearly broke up with her. I gave her a second chance, as I love her a lot but she seems to keep causing me confusion. She'll keep getting texts and messages through snapchat from different guys and when I ask about it, she'll show me portions of conversations and tell me that they're just old friends. What I can't understand is why these "old friends" keep popping up now that we've been together for six months. I told her how I feel about it and she continues to talk to different people. What should I do? | Girlfriend got a sugar daddy even though I told her not to, girlfriend keeps talking to guys that she says are old friends despite me telling her how uncomfortable I am with it. |
t3_20n07d | relationships | Should I (24/M) initiate sexting with (24/F) that I met and hooked up with over the weekend but won't see for a while? | Met a girl at the bar on Friday and then met up again on Saturday and hooked up (everything but sex). Problem is that she was just in town on a trip and lives 4+ hours away so I figured that was that. She initiated a short text conversation yesterday that basically culminated in her saying she is coming back down to Dallas in a few weeks (during these texts I said some subtle sexual stuff). This is pretty clearly not going to be anything more than the occasional hook up and could very likely be over after her next visit. I want to initiate some texting/sexting with her cause our hook up has been on my mind but I'm not sure if it's appropriate given the circumstances. Can I say something like 'I want you' etc to her? | Should I try to initiate sexting with a girl that I've only hooked up with once and won't see for another few weeks? |
t3_eed48 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, can I get a little advice about an idea that I have? | So I know the owner of a small shop which manufactures some pretty cool things. Now I have an idea that I feel would really sell a lot and I want to approach him about this. I don't want to come off like a jerk selling him an idea, because he's a nice guy and I would also like him to make me one of these. However, I don't just want to hand over the idea and not have any compensation.
How do I approach him? Would you suggest trying to market it as a one-time idea or get paid a percentage per unit sold? Or maybe just ask for a discount on some things in the store? Should I just give the idea and hope he is nice enough to compensate me? Thanks! | I have an idea for a local business man that I feel like would sell a lot but don't want to just hand it over. How can I get some compensation? |
t3_1u6nq7 | relationships | best friend(19) refuses to listen to my advice, he keeps getting hurt..am i overprotective? | Hello to all,
My best friend just got outta a messy relationship, she(ex gf 19) keeps calling him, flirts with him for a bit then reminds him they arent together anymore(pretty cruel)
The first time it happened, he cried so hard infront of me, it destroyed me to see him that way. Anyways she did the tease game once more, they went out she posted an image on instagram then told him to remove it cause they arent together. may I remind you all SHES the one who posted it.
Anyways, I told him to stop. stop being her bitch, to just stop talking to her and to stop what hes doing right now, being her safe haven kind of, being there when shes lonely.
Today, he left a crying voicemail at 6am, I woke up at 12 freaked out and responded quickly, he told me she called him he doesnt remember the convo. Anyhoot, i flipped out.
I told him to stop being her doormat, and to use the tears to build a backbone etc.
My thing is redditors, Am i being overbearing? how should i approach this situation. Feel free to post advice for him for I will be copying pasting it to him via sms. | Best friend cant get over girlfriend , I feel like im giving him everything to get over her, he just keeps ignoring it |
t3_353swf | relationships | I [29 M] slept with someone else years ago while temporarily broken up with my GF [29 F] of 6 years. The guilt is eating at me. | I'll try to keep it as short and simple as I can. I've debated posting this over and over.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 6 years now and everything is pretty much all around fantastic. However about 1 year into our relationship I was offered a temporary position out of the country and not being particularly keen on a long distance relationship I broke things off. While I was away I hooked up once or twice with a woman I met at a bar. The sex was pretty underwhelming and it didn't go beyond the one or two times.
Flash forward to a few weeks later and my girlfriend and I have begun skyping. Maybe distance made the heart grow fonder, but we ultimately reconciled and picked things back up when I returned a couple of months later... Here is where I fucked up.
I am not remotely the jealous type but I must have been projecting because I began questioning and accusing her of sleeping with other people while we had been broken up. She earnestly insisted she had not and then volleyed the question back my way. I knew if I answered honestly it would be over. So i lied. It was too easy.
"We were broken up, I technically didn't do anything wrong! Hell I even got tested for STDs just to be sure there was nothing I could pass onto her. Besides the sex was bad and it meant nothing. Its almost like it never happened!"
This is what I told myself, trying to convince my brain my lie was justifiable. I've told myself this for 5 years now and it's finally happened. I'm starting to crack under the guilt. I know nothing good will come of telling her, but in a relationship with otherwise 100% honesty this singular lie hangs over my head every single day.
I know if I tell her now she will leave me or all the trust she has in me will be irreparably shattered. But how else am I supposed to get rid of this burden? | I slept with someone else while my GF and I were on a break. I lied about it and years later the guilt stills eats at me. |
t3_1ail1q | dating_advice | [M24] going on my first date with [F22] and her mother... | I've told my situation on another forum and got some great moral support and a little advice. I figured I'd explain it here too and see what you guys think.
So, I met this girl on OkCupid, even though I had only got on the site for the lulz. She lives in another state and flew in for spring break and we planned to meet on next Saturday. She however was visiting my university because she's coming here or another nearby college for grad school. She was lost and so she unexpectedly calls me, so I ran across campus to help her find her tour guide. I think she's 22. She also seems like a family person.
She mentioned that she was going to show her mom the campus on Saturday, so I offered to take them both out to dinner. I told her I'm pretty unconventional and that if it made her feel more comfortable considering I'm a complete stranger, then I'd be glad if she'd come and I am. I'd much rather have her feel safe around me.
She's incredibly smart from what I've picked up so far and she was prettier than her picture which was already amazing. I hate to rate girls in principle but my only way to convey how attractive she is is to say she's an 8 or a 9. She's an ESFJ personality type.
I'm fairly smart. I've lost 60 lbs but I'm not the best looking person. I'm not ugly either. I'm maybe a 5 or 6, I hope. I'm an INTJ personality type. I'm 24. This will be my first date ever.
I'm less concerned about the mother since I usually make a good impression on older women as they're more mature and this girl seems mature too but this is all new to me. | For my first date I'm taking a girl and her mother out for dinner. She's really smart and I don't want to blow it. |
t3_vj63i | Dogtraining | Will my dog ever be normal? | I have a German Shepard male. He is a little over two years old. His distraction of shadows and reflections is ruining everything! When I just want to hang out with him, he is completely consumed by a shadow and will forget everything and just act retarded staring at shadows or trying to attack them. Same problem with flies, he just chases them and it takes up all his attention. It is very, very annoying and sad. I can walk him and all that stuff, but he is ALWAYS distracted by damn shadows or reflections of a watch or some shiny object. I can't emphasize how annoying this is as let me restate he is *totally consumed* by this stuff. No attention, no anything, just staring and fighting and chasing the damn shadows or flies or whatever. Honestly, I was really hoping it would be something he were to grow out of, but he's over 2 and it hasn't changed one bit. Can anyone please tell me how to fix this or if there is anything I can do? Please, this is really getting in the way of enjoying my dog. Thank you so much. | Dog is obsessed with shadows and it is ruining everything (no fun) as it totally consumes him and no attention on anything else. Hasn't grown out of it after 2 years, will he ever be ok? How? |
t3_501cx1 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my 9 month relationship [25 F] girlfriend having what may be a major argument. Help! | Hi all,
So my GF and myself (both 25 years old, myself being Male, her being Female) have been getting along great until recently. We have had a couple of recent arguments revolving around short little debates (the last one was about dieting and getting in better shape). We both struggle a little bit with our weight, but she definitely has more biologically that she has to work around. I found a great diet to start (mostly Keto focused) and would like to get her involved eventually.
She agreed to this, so today I started outlining things for her. As a short little part of the story, I should probably include that her job requires her to listen very intently for long periods of time to many people. So, when we finally get to spend time together a couple days a week, it seems like a lot of her listening has been used up in her high stress job. She has also admitted to having terrible ADHD at times (not sure if she's actually been diagnosed or not).
Ok, back to the story. After me beginning to get into the details, she interrupted me and said "that sounds very difficult and time consuming to do". I tried explaining to her how little time I have had to devote to it (there are calculators and things to help us "normal" people follow the diet) in order to attempt to ease some of her reservations. She then broadsided me with something: she started asking questions about things I had explicitly already explained and told me that I never said any of the information regarding these details.
I do a lot of public speaking for a living and consider myself intimately aware of what I say and how I say things. So, now I have a girlfriend who is turned off by what I thought would be exciting to her, and she thinks I am just leaving out crucial bits of information in our discussions. She has become combative sometimes about these sort of discussions, and things end up finishing rather tense. What do I do besides look like a rude boyfriend, recording our discussions to show her that she just missed what I was talking about? | Discussions/arguments with GF. She thinks I am not saying important parts of conversations when I know I am. Help. |
t3_kyow9 | AskReddit | How should I deal with the worst group project I've ever been put into? | I wanted to share this email with you guys that I just sent, in return for your thoughts.
**Background: I am in intermediate German in university. We have to do a group project, a soap opera, in two performances. It's worth 30% of our final mark.**
THE EMAIL:
Hey A---,
We agreed on nothing last class. Remember that long moment of silence where everyone stopped talking? That was a silent refusal to your railroading of us into the project that you want to do, one that is not a soap opera.
Also, I completely object to the role that you're attempting to pressure J--- into doing. Pressuring our one female group member into a subservient role in your story is two levels of bigotry and is one of the best examples of academic male chauvinism I've witnessed so far. That's why in the synopsis I wrote, I took the more subservient role and gave her a lead one, to which she replied she really liked the idea of. However, you don't seem to be concerned with that.
If you have no interest in our concerns as group members, you can expect that not all of us are going to go along with what you want and that you'll receive some push-back. Now, you're asking us to define our characters based on a story that is not a soap opera for our soap opera project. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to see how things go tomorrow instead.
Me | self-appointed group leader is trying to force our only female member into being a stewardess and wants to do a wartime espionage for our soap opera. |
t3_w043i | AskReddit | TIL my grandpa is dying. His only chance is a miracle, so any prayers would be very appreciated. | *First off, I know alot of you aren't very religious, and so if you aren't just ignore this. But if you are, please pray for him. He needs it right now.*
Around 20 minutes ago I learned that my grandpa is very likely going to die soon. The doctors said he has build up in his lungs, one has already collapsed, and one is on its way to collapsing soon. They think it was caused by something he unknowingly was inhaling while he was in the navy when he was younger, and we haven't told him how serious it is yet because he's always been a worrier and we can't tell him quite yet. I'm not sure who to turn to for help though, because I'm afraid if I seem sad around my family they'll get sad again too. Typically when this stuff happens I try not to show sadness around them. Normally I would just turn to my friends, but because of recent events... Well, I have none at the moment. But that's a totally different story. Anyways, I was hoping you guys could pray for him and his recovery, because right now it's looking like a miracle is his only chance. Any prayers would be very appreciated. | My grandpa's most likely going to die soon, the only chance for recovery is a miracle, so *please* pray for him. |
t3_1lkwdk | relationship_advice | [20/f] Just found out that my year and a half boyfriend [26/m] cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship | Today as I was trying to take pictures on my boyfriend's computer I accidentally found proof that he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend when we started dating. He has naked pictures of her and a video with him LITERALLY saying that he had just fucked her and that he would keep doing it for the next couple of month ( the video was taken 4 days after we started dating).
To understand the extent of the situation, you need to understand that two month after we started dating I found that that he was married to that girl and that he had been planning on leaving me to go back with her. After I gave him the choice to stay with me he decided to finally leave her and he is now still in the procedure of getting a divorce.
When I found that that he had planned on leaving me, I asked him if he had been sleeping with her while we had been dating, telling him that he was his time to come clean and that I would not take it in account if he did but he promised me he didn't. I always had suspicions that he did but I had hoped I would never have had to find out. I am fairly sure that he stopped seing her after I found out about them being married but this video is giving me perspective and I am honestly not sure of anything anymore. We are now living together and we have been really happy since this whole incident happened nearly a year ago. I don't know what to do, whether I should make a huge deal out of this and leave him since he lied to me and cheated on me or whether I should even talk to him about this and try to forget this. | I [F/20] found out that my boyfriend [M/26] cheated on me with his ex girlfriend while we first started dating. We have been dating for a year and a half and leave together. |
t3_1ctti1 | relationships | Should I [M19] end my 3 year relationship with my SO [F18] | I really have nowhere else to turn Reddit. I've been with my SO for 3 years. We've had a great relationship. We both trust each other completely and we hardly ever fight. Lately I've been having second thoughts about our relationship, merely for the reason that I just want to be single. I've had these feelings before throughout our relationship but they usually pass. Not this time though, I'm constantly debating it and it's not going away. I just want to be alone for a while. I want to focus on me and my life without having to think of someone else. Is this selfish of me? I love my SO I really do. And even thinking about breaking up with her hurts. But what if I ignore these feelings and try to actually appreciate what I have, will it just be delaying something that's unavoidable and one day realize she's not the one for me? Its tearing me up inside. Can somebody please give me any kind of advice. | Good relationship. I DO LOVE HER. Constant thoughts of ending it though just to be single. Should I appreciate what I have or let her go? |
t3_375ekq | relationships | Boyfriend (28M) told me that he doesn't remember the first time we met because he was too focused on another girl that was with me. | Hey Reddit. So I (24F) have been dating this wonderful guy for 10 months and last week I was talking about the first time we met. He told me that he doesn't remember. I told him the story again and said, "Oh I was with ___ person." He says "That's probably why I don't remember." I never knew that he was romantically interested in the other person, or that she did not like him back.
I'm not sure if I'm being a bit petty, but I feel kind of shitty that my own boyfriend doesn't remember the first time we met since he was way more attracted to somebody else at the time. It makes me feel like I was the rebound girl or not his first choice. I have not been able to get it out of my mind and makes me feel really insecure lately. He can't seem to understand why I'm upset by this, saying that it doesn't matter now (which I can kind of agree with). From this position, it also makes me insecure that he would dump me the moment he found someone more attractive down the road. Am I being unreasonable? How do I get over this? | Boyfriend does not remember the first time we met because at the time I was with another girl he was interested in. I feel upset and insecure and am wondering how to get over this. |
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