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t3_txv62 | AskReddit | What does reddit think of this new website me and a friend made ? | Me and a friend were bored and tought it would be fun to create a website. After some brainstorming we decided to make a "catalog" of reactionfaces. We made an alpha version and today we launched it.
Now, the main cause of this website is actually raising some money using ads to finance the exchange student program i'm in. I know I probably won't earn much but every bit helps.
So reddit, what do you think of the website ?
Do you have any tips or ideas on how you would have made it ?
Let's say this version is just a basic version of the project, and I will try to improve and make it bigger in the near future.
Link to the page : | Friend and I made a webpage to raise some money for a year abroad, supply me with opinions,tips and idea's to make it better. |
t3_3ciqzs | relationships | Am i just young and stupid? Long time friend [18f] is talking to me again about choosing a partner for life.. | So girl well call Alexis is dating some guy for the last 3 years as I had moved and was not talking to her until recently. Alexis is very special to me we "dated" in school but never actually had what I would consider a real relationship. But now that we are talking again we've caught up and come to find out she is conflicted on whether the guy she's with wants what she wants... she wants to just live a simple life and start having kids around 21ish she is level minded for the most part and isn't a risk taker she doesn't want to deal with college and just wants the simple life....
About me : I'm 19 and live about 1000 miles from Alexis. I have a stable career in its infancy due to my young age but can support a simple life in the near future. As well as knowing my family will support any changes I make in my life for as long as need be...
My question comes down to this if she matters a lot to me and she tells me she has feelings for me, we bo
th want the same life goals and but she also has the boyfriend of 3 years who she has reservations should I attempt to make a push for her right now we haven't been in contact for 3 years until recently so it wouldn't be overly hard to forget it happened....
Thanks in advance | girl I known for a while wants to make something out of us do I attempt to make it happen or let it go? |
t3_4mv5ar | legaladvice | [PA] Lease ended, moved out, got charged too much for cleaning by landlord. What can I do? | Hi guys, I'm not too sure if this is the right subreddit to ask this, but I don't really know where else to go to.
So I just received an email from my landlord (a property management company) stating that I now owe them $250, after they have deducted the whole $500 security deposit. That means they charged me $750 for cleaning the apartment after I moved out.
They sent me the detailed list of the cleaning charges, and everything was vaguely listed as [Not clean](
Although I'm not the cleanest guy out there, I didn't think those charges were reasonable. Before moving out, I tried to clean the apartment the best I could, including vacuuming the carpet, mopping the floor, and leaving nothing behind. Admittedly I might have missed a few spots, I doubt that it would cost the landlord $600 to clean everything. Here are some [pictures] of the apartment after I cleaned my stuff that I quickly took before leaving in a hurry, so it didn't cover everything in it.
So is there anyway that I could dispute these cleaning charges? I have heard about normal wear and tear (I stayed there for 2 years), which supposedly is landlord's responsibility (?), but I'm not too sure about this matter.
I acknowledge that it is somewhat on me because I didn't have them come and check before I move out so I couldn't directly argue about the charges. Additionally, I didn't get any problem with them during the 2 years I spent there, and I'm renting another one of their apartments starting this August, so I was a little careless. I'm living in a small college town, and these guys are pretty much in charge of every apartment within walking distance to my university, so I didn't really have the option to choose another landlord.
Any advice is much appreciated, thank you in advance. | moved out, got charged $750 cleaning fee, security deposit was only $500 so I now owed landlord $250. Will continue to be with the same landlord starting August. |
t3_1ywdb7 | Advice | I need a little advice with getting in touch with old friends. | When I was in college I had a good circle of friends who would meet up daily in and out of college. I would go on campus even on days I had no lectures scheduled to hang out with people who had full days in and help study or just be support for people.
A couple of years in my course moved it's facilities to another campus but I still met up with my friends regularly. But eventually everyone disappeared and I have been left with 2 friends. The reasons for people losing contact are numerous.
A bunch of them I just lost contact with but when I look back on it they were more acquaintances that I saw regularly.
Some were failed relationships and that just made things awkward.
The hardest part, and the subject of my conflict, broke contact with me because of some really petty reasons. To cut a very long story short, one of the people I spent a very long time with decided to generate rumours about me. Over time I had people telling me multiple different reasons for why they didn't like me any more, none of which had any truth.
The reason for this post is that one of my remaining friends has kept in touch with all of these guys and he recently asked me why I never interact with any of them, so I told him about the rumours and what people said to me. He was completely surprised by this and told me they all often spoke about me as though they missed me.
Should I get in touch with these guys after all these years and how should I go about it? Or should I just leave things as they are, maybe find new friends? | I had friends and then lost friends for silly reasons, but I've recently found out they miss me. Should I get in touch with them? |
t3_3f7egm | relationships | Me [28M] with my wife [25F] met 4 years ago, she wants to relocate and I do not | Were in the NYC area, she wants to move to Boston. Not because she has a job offer or anything, but because she loves change and loves the area over there for the next big change:
I too love New England. But my career is going very well here in NYC and my entire family is here. I'm very close with them. She comes from a dysfunctional family with whom she's emotionally distant, and has no emotional qualms about moving anywhere.
Ive spent a lot of time rationalizing great reasons to relocate, and indeed there are a few. But the idea of not having my family around is depressing. I've explained this idea to them before, but today my mom admitted to me that she would be very upset because she always hoped that I'd be around. This totally broke my heart, because I feel the same way.
My wife is on a different page, and Something deep inside me has been upset and afraid of relocating. I'm afraid of what it would do to our relationship. I'm afraid that the pain I feel about my family will turn into resentment and change the way I look at my wife.
She and I have had fights about this before. The idea of relocating had started to grow on me, but what my mom told me basically reset me to square one.
I have no idea what to do, and I feel trapped, as though there's no happy way for this predicament to end. | my wife likes change and wants us to relocate; I don't, my family is here, and I'm afraid I'll resent her for it. |
t3_37ntc8 | relationships | My [24 F] wife (7 months) (5 year relationship) wants a divorce. Says that I [27 M] have been more like a roommate or brother. | I have been finishing up my MA program and my educator certification. My MA program has been going on for 5 years, and has been a nightmare. I have had my adviser leave the school, and one pass away. For a while I was the soul breadwinner. She got a bad job, that ate away at her soul. I lost my job as a teacher, and have been interning in the mean time.
She got a new job at a University, and we got married 7 months ago and I went on her health insurance (I had already proposed to her before the job change) We had dated for 5 years, and lived together for 3 years.
A few days ago we went out for dinner and she was quiet. I asked her what was wrong. She said she wanted to talk about it later. I pressed her and said that I was anxious about it. She said she was filing the paper work to change her name, and it felt wrong. She wanted space -- she wanted a divorce.
All I could focus on was "I want space" so I left the house to a friends house. Later the next day, she told me she left and had sex with a coworker. I told her that if she was trying to salt the fields, that it wouldn't work. I still love her, and want to fix this. I know I have been super busy, but this came out of the blue. She says she's been unhappy for a while. | My wife wants a divorce, says I am more her brother. How do I give her space, but also fix the problem? |
t3_4510zt | relationship_advice | Me [17 M] with my GF [15 F] of 2 months, problems with public anxiety | First of all, we both see this issue and are *co-writing* this post. We will both be responding to comments. We love each other and do not want to break up. We just want to fix this issue. We'd especially love specific anecdotes along with your advice!
I am in grade 12 and "*Genevieve*" is in grade 10 at our high school of about 1600 students. We shared a class of 70 people that was for all grades. We will never have a common class again, but we are both in choir. We started talking online, hit it off, and here we are.
She has trouble being around me with other people around. It is involuntary, and she doesn't want it to happen. Sometimes Genevieve describes it as a "fight or flight" where she just automatically flies. It seems to be better around her friends. It is worst in choir and when there are acquaintances around that don't know about us. We aren't official on Facebook, because that would make her especially anxious right now.
I am a person that varies in emotional depth depending on who I am around. I am loud/outgoing around my music/drama crowd. I'm Goofy around my guy friends. I am also quiet when the situation needs it. I'm generally a joking-relaxed with Genevieve. I feel like how I act around my people makes it worse for her. She is fairly quiet except when comfortable with a group of friends. We think that the contrast might make it weird for people sometimes.
Please give us some advice of how to get her to open up, and for me to make it easier. We would love to hear if anyone went through similar things and how it went. Thanks! | My GF has problems about being nervous/anxious around me in public (especially school). Please give advice (she's reading all of it too) |
t3_3ay0y2 | tifu | TIFU by getting half naked in the middle of a suit shop | So, this actually happened 2 days ago.
I'm a University student in my 3rd year, coming up to graduation. We're having a leavers ball at the end of this week as a nice goodbye between the small 40 people that are on our course. Naturally, I'll need a nice suit and I'm no good at clothes shopping alone so my girlfriend is with me to help decide. After trying a few suits in certain shops I'm losing hope, none of them fit the way I like. Then we spot Moss Bros., a nice suit shop which to my mind has always been a little on the expensive side (I am a student after all). We walk in and straight away I see a a suit that I'd like to try on.
Now earlier on that day, I had to put on just a jumper because none of my washing had dried properly over night. I'm used to wearing jumpers alone without anything underneath and forget that other people will expect you to be wearing a t-shirt or something too. So the sales assistant comes over (he's a pushy, confident, hard selling type) and grabs the suit jacket I'm interested in and tells me to take off my jumper... this is the moment I forget other people might expect more clothing... so I reply "What, now?!" and he promptly encourages me further. So I swiftly removed my jumper to reveal my now bare torso to the sales assistant and the 4 or 5 other customers currently browsing suits in the middle of the shop.
The sales assistant is clearly very shocked and turns around exclaiming "WOAH, why didn't you warn me?!" and my girlfriend is stood beside me face palming whilst I turn redder than a tomato with sunburn as the other customers grin to themselves.
It turns out my girlfriend had realised what was about to happen and decided to tell me not to take it off at a frequency only dogs and bats can hear.
**P.S: I did end up buying the suit, whether that was to maintain dignity or not, I'm happy. It's a nice suit.** | Went to buy a suit for a ball with my girlfriend wearing only a jumper on my torso, confusion ensues and I'm topless in front of everyone in the store* |
t3_4x7ott | relationships | I (21F) am skeptical about my boyfriend (21M) joining me on my fitness regimen | My boyfriend Lloyd and I are 21 and have been dating 3 years. This summer, I've been trying to get in better shape and eat healthier. I plan to start training for a half marathon when the school year starts up. I have a friend I plan to run with, a training plan, etc. I'm really excited about it and have told my plans to my boyfriend.
My boyfriend wants to join me. He's never been in shape either and wants us to spend more time together, so he thinks running would be a great way to do so.
However, even though I was happy to possibly have his company, I don't know how I feel about him running with me. You see, I'm a bit chubby and could stand to lose some weight, but Lloyd is already really skinny. Most of his calories are from sodas and junk food, and if he plans to cut those out and eat healthy with me, his caloric intake is going to decrease a ton. He tends not to eat if he doesn't like the food, even if he's hungry, so he'll likely skip even more meals if the dining hall food isn't what he feels like. I already feel like he eats way less than most guys his age do.
I also wonder if him running with me will just whittle his size down to nothing. He's very skinny with no muscle and while I like him the way he is now, I don't know how attracted to him I'll be if he ends up losing more weight.
Is there anything I can do about this? Should I tell him I'd rather workout with my girl friend? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't want our sex life to suffer either. | Already skinny boyfriend wants to work out/eat healthy with me and become even skinnier. I don't know if I should say or do anything. |
t3_1xxg1x | relationships | Me [35 M] with my wife [36 F] married 11 years, Not sure if I am "in love" with her, maybe I have never been.. | I know I am having some personal emotional and self esteem issues that have gotten me thinking these things, but hear me out.
Met in high school at a summer camp. Saw each other again the next year, when I started liking her. She didn't like me, that way. Stayed friends and hung out quite a bit. She went to prom with me and I to a dance with her. I asked her to be more than friends on maybe 2 occasions to be turned down. This didn't help this self esteem issue I also have.
Well, we quite talking for a few years where I meet my first love. Don't think I need to get in to that/her since that is another issue. You can view my other posts if you want. This girl and I break up after 2 years, very hard for me.
Maybe 6 months after that. Wife says she finally likes me. At first I say I am not ready or don't want that at the time. Week later I tell her I want to. I didn't have to pursue her at all, really. We even said that when we started dating the only thing different was that I paid for things. This last month or so I have been thinking a lot and think I "settled" with her. I think this sounds terrible. We have some issues. She says I don't show affection very well. I feel she gets upset with me about a lot of little things, laundry, when I do it, not liking how I talk to the kids. Probably normal issues. I know this is a terrible question because everyone is different. Is there a way to tell if I'm "in love" or just love her? I know I am going to be told to go to therapy. I'm working myself up to this.... | married 11 years, lately been curious if I am "in love" or if I ever have been. Even the thought of this seems terrible.. |
t3_21t3wl | relationships | I'm [22F] and just realizing I'm not close to anyone.. At all.. And don't know how to be. | Over the years I've slowly gotten to know myself more, and some of the more recent things I'm noticing have to do with my inability to let people in. I've come to realize that not only do I not get close to others, I really don't know HOW. Even friends I've had for years don't really know me very well. They know my general attitude and all the basics, but don't really get "me".... Does that make sense?
I have social skills, and I have friends. I open up fine to people; I'll open up about my life story thus far to anyone who will reciprocate, no matter the depth or topic. I've dated plenty of people, and only one person commented on my distance. I communicate with my "closer" friends at least once a week or two. I update them with my life... I do all the normal things I think friends do. I don't understand how to feel close to someone; how to actually let them into what I'm really feeling, how I really think...
I mean, yeah, growing up, my parents weren't the greatest... My dad told me constantly how stupid I was and stuff, and my mom has always been depressed and kind of unproductive. I didn't really have friends growing up; I've always been kind of awkward. All that is besides the point; no one had a perfect childhood.
Is there something I can practice doing or try with my current friends to try and bridge that gap I've formed over the years? I'm kind of tired of feeling isolated, I just really don't know how to get close to people. :/ Thank you to anyone who responds and let me know if I can make anything more clear. | I'm 22, am very closed off, and don't know how to truly get close to people because I've never experienced it before. |
t3_3cjirt | relationships | I'm [25F] in love with my best friend [30M] and I don't know how to get over it | We're internet friends, so we've never actually met in real life. We've been friends for three years and have talked non-stop almost every day since we met. It started out mildly romantic, but his feelings faded away as we realized how hard it would be for us to ever actually be together while mine didn't. I care about him more than I care about anyone else in the world, I know he cares about me as well and if we didn't live half a world apart we'd probably be together. Sometimes I think about leaving my life behind to be with him, but I know he'd never do the same. I also know that I eventually want to get married and have children and he wants neither of those things although in the beginning when we were more romantic he was open to both.
I know that we're never going to happen, but I just can't give up the idea of it being a possibility. Every once in a while I'll pick a fight with him to try and get him to block all forms of communication with me so I have to move on, but he refuses because he doesn't want me out of his life and I really don't want him out of my life, but it's begun to make my other relationships difficult. I haven't dated since I met him and I have no interest in doing so because I'm living in my fantasy world where we'll magically end up together and live happily ever after even though I know that has a 0.00000001% chance of ever happening. I know we aren't going to happen, plain and simple, but I lie to myself and say we will. I need to stop, but I just can't seem to. | I'm in love with someone I've never actually met, may never meet, and know I will never end up with, but I can't get over it and move on. How do I get over this? |
t3_26uuac | dating_advice | Got the # but what now..... | Backstory :
Went on a double date setup by my friend, his girlfriend and her friend (my date). Met her for the first time and we all grabbed dinner. Dinner went well, did the usual questioning of lives and made a few jokes here and there. My friend and I paid (they attempted) and they thanked us for the food.
After dinner as we walked out and back towards the cars, my friend and his gf lagged behind while we were walking up ahead chatting. Here I suggested to my date that we should get froyo and she asked if I knew any spots and I suggested one about 10-15 minutes away. At this point my buddy and his gf bowed out and went home and me and my date proceeded to her car and she drove us to get froyo .
We parked and and shared a cup of froyo. We walked around outside and eventually sat down on a bench and continued eating and chatting. We kept chatting and making jokes (she was laughing and smiling and seemingly enjoying her time) for a good 30 to 45 minutes after finishing the froyo before she mentioned it was way past her bed time.
So at this point, I feel like its going pretty well. She is laughing and smiling, and like I said she seemed to be enjoying herself. We drove to my apartment and this is where I feel like I totally bombed. I told her I had a great time and she responded with a me too. I then kind of awkwardly asked if she would like to hang out again and then she said yes but it was a weird tone, perhaps nervous or hesitant. I then asked her for her number and again it seemed she was either nervous or hesitant when she gave it out. At this point I was pretty flustered by all the hesitation and awkwardly said 'ok goodnight and drive home safe!'. There was no indication she was gonna go in for a hug or kiss (cars are the worst) and so I didn't really force the issue and left with a wave. | Met girl for first time on double date at dinner. Successfully transitioned dinner to alone time at dinner. Got the # at the end but failed for a hug or kiss. |
t3_12irnb | AskReddit | Yesterday I realized that for the past 13 years I have misinterpreted a family story. Anyone else believe one thing about their relatives that they later learned was untrue? | When I was a teenager my mom and I were talking about when our family started. My aunt and uncle got married the same weekend as my parents. My mom was telling me how easily/quickly she got pregnant (I'm sure this was in part to instill in me the risks of sex) She said that she was under the impression that it took a long time to get pregnant and was surprised that she got pregnant with me immediately upon trying. (There was no sex ed in her school system in the 70s and she couldn't talk to my grandma about these things.) I asked what made her think that it took a long time and she said that it was because my aunt (that got married the same weekend as my parents) had been trying for a long time with no luck.
I did some math and figured since they all married in July 1981 and I was born in April 1982, that meant my parents got pregnant with me right away…which meant that my aunt had been trying to get pregnant *before* she and my uncle married. As I was recounting this story yesterday to my boyfriend it started to dawn on me that it made no sense that my sweet, saintly catholic aunt would try to get knocked up out of wedlock back in the early 80s (when there was still such a stigma around it). I asked my mum about the story and my assumptions were totally wrong. They all got married in 1980. So my aunt and uncle tried for a kid starting right after the wedding. My parents didn't try for me until 1 year after the wedding, believing that it would take at least a year to work. | Not knowing which year my parents got married caused me to wrongly assume that my aunt unsuccessfully tried to trap my uncle with a baby. |
t3_4zlueq | relationships | I[19M] might need better friends | Go back to the olden days(high school). My close niche of friends consisted of 4 major guys.
One night, I go on Facebook and I see all of them wearing the same white t-shirt and smiling. I wondered, why didn't they invite me to hang out with them? I kept talking to them like old friends but they slowly excluded me from the group.
For some reason, I still try to keep contact with them even though I know in my guts that I shouldn't because I know they might do the same thing again or maybe they always have been. idk
I keep seeing them hang out together because they're always posting things on social media like facebook, instagram, and twitter. | I made high school friends that I kind of talk to still, but they tend to not invite me to hang outs and it makes me really jealous, angry, and sad. Is there something I need to change about myself? |
t3_35mwsl | tifu | TIFU by rejecting a great guy on POF | So there I am on POF (a dating site), going through tons of messages when I come across one in particular. You can tell this guys message was well thought out and that he really wanted to start something.
He said he really liked my dress I was wearing in one of my photos and that I was absolutely beautiful in it and then he started talking about a few common interests.
Honestly this is a guy just from personality I'd probably want to spend my life with, his profile was amazing, he worked with kids, he goes backpacking through Europe every year, he has his own business (he's only 21, I'm 19), he was pretty fit, and he had that little skaterboy look I always adored in high school.
Well as a lot of guys know on POF, girls will reject you for the most stupidest reasons even if you seem like the most amazing guy. The pictures. I thought he was cute, but I stupidly compared him to other douche bags I thought were more hot than him. Those are the kind of guys I KNOW either just want hook ups or will date me just to fuck me and then leave but yet I always message them back.
Well I didn't message him back so a few months later I go to get coffee in a Starbucks I frequent and lo and behold, there he is. He doesn't notice me at first so he sits down with this beautiful girl next to the table I was sitting at, I can overhear their conversation.
He looked extremely amazing in person, I wanted to hug him so bad. He was polite, respectful, the girl he was with you could tell he's been with her for quite some time. Then he spotted me and as they were leaving he just shook his head at me.
I cried when I got home. It's my own fault and I swear almost every girl online does it. | Rejected an amazing guy online for his pictures, saw guy again in coffee shop with beautiful girl, got shamed hard, cried. |
t3_38pnhr | relationships | Is it wrong for me(26m) to break up with girlfriend(21f) of one year when everything is good. I just want to be alone. | More details- I have been with my girlfriend for over a year and we live together. The passed couple of months I have not been into the relationship at all when on paper everything should be perfect. She is a truly great girlfriend but I just feel like at this point in my life I need to be alone. I rushed into this relationship a little fast, we moved in together almost right away.
So my question is- is it okay to break up with someone for no other reason then you need to be on your own for awhile? | Girlfriend is great but I feel like I need to be on my own before I can take a relationship to the next level. |
t3_3pg90n | relationships | I [22M] don't know when to give up on her [20F] | We tried a long distance relationship. It didn't work out because I wanted a bigger commitment than she was not able to provide so early in our relationship. She said when I get back from my internship maybe we could be in love the right way, but space is best for now.
That was four months ago, and I've haven't gotten a word from her. A month ago I accidentally texted her a pic of me (unflattering, because it was legitimately accidental) and immediately apologized. No word. Today was my birthday, and no happy birthday from her.
I feel like, if I meant as much to her as she said while we were together, that she'd tell me if she's no longer interested. I thought it'd make sense, it would save both of us trouble. But I haven't heard a word from her. She just likes some of my stuff on facebook, and she checks every single one of my snapstories, but I feel embarrassed to say that it gives me hope.
I plan on visiting in October (in a week), just to pop in the coffee shop she works at to buy a drink, say hi, and leave her alone. Other than that, I don't return to our college until January. Do I leave her alone and wait for January, or go forth with my plan in a week and see how she reacts? Or, should I drop the assumption that she'd tell me she's done with me, and forget about her?
Sorry for choppy sentences, drink and alone on my birthday and didn't want to waste anyone's time. | I messed up an LDR, she's really not making any effort to see how I'm doing. Move on or continue waiting for her? |
t3_1z2irc | offmychest | man, i don't want fucking child support. | it was a one night stand with some guy i knew throughout highschool. that was it. this was a week after i broke up with the fella i was seeing, so i am still not 100%, though she is the spitting image of you. i want a paternity test. i have tried contacting you 3 times, extremely cordially. i've been nothing less than reasonable, and i don't think i'm asking much. i do not want your money, i do not want your name on the birth certificate, and after all is said and done, if you want to go the rest of your life like this never happened you don't understand how elated that would make me. do i like you? no. do i respect you as a person? no. but i respect you as a human being, and this is a decision I MADE. not you. this is ALL ME. i'm not about to ruin your life and tie you down for the next 18 years because i decided to keep my child. hell, you didn't even know for certain that she could be yours until she was 8 months, when i finally decided to message you. before that you had simply heard through the grapevine that it was a possibility, i just confirmed it. all i want is for you to swab your fucking cheek. she has a right to know, when the time comes, at the very least the name of her father. i need closure, man. please, just work with me here. shit, am i being unreasonable here? | had a baby, uncertain of paternity. i just want the paternity test, not child support. i also do not want to get the court involved. can we please just do this nicely? |
t3_29g9ih | tifu | TIFU Telling my GF I wanted to move out but still stay together | Some background. My girlfriend and I have been going out for ~ 3 years and we have had our shares of ups and downs. This is someone who I envisioned asking to be my wife in the not to distant future. We recently moved in together (about 6 months ago) and things have been somewhat of a struggle. She has a full time job and I will be starting grad school in a few weeks.
For the past couple of weeks, I have had a lot of free time on my hands. I do not currently have a job, which hasn't effected our finances because I had built up a substantial savings from my last one. I am pretty much riding it out until I start my PhD program. I've sort of spent this time on personal development, as well as getting our new house in order.
We have been getting in a ton of fights lately and that has led me to question whether she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with (or even another year with). This last week however was pretty great however, and we got along as if the past few months of fights hadn't even happened. IDK whether it was the wine or the confidence of having an argument free evening, but I let slip that after one of our more serious fights a few weeks ago, I contacted my school to get on campus housing.
I live pretty close to school as is (15 minutes), and was planning on commuting to school for the duration of my classes. These plans changed however when I noticed an uptick in the amount of fights we were having. Anyway needless to say, she was not very happy with me and has not spoken to me since I mentioned it.
I wouldn't have even brought it up if it weren't for the fact that she had brought up some stuff that didn't really sit right with me. I know what I did was uncalled for (acting out of spite), but I really feel like that information is better out in the open. I still love my GF, but these past few months have really tested our relationship. Anyways, thought this would make a good TIFU. | Told my girlfriend that after a big fight a few weeks ago, I looked into moving out and finding a new apartment (w/o her as a roommate). Did not got over too well :( |
t3_1et11p | dating_advice | I haven't been able to eat or sleep since prom. Help. | I've never been in a relationship, never kissed a girl. Somehow I managed to ask a girl to prom, we seemed to have a great time. I felt things that I had never felt before, emotions that just didn't exist because I do not socialize much with girls and am quiet. My stupid "goal" for the night was to get kissed, though it didn't happen because those unexpected emotions put me into barf-mode. On the drive home, to drop her off, I turned 18, and a flood of even more emotions hit. Never sworn, kissed, drank alcohol, been in a relationship, the list goes on. It was quite the pity party in my head and the drive was silent, mostly. Nothing happened.
Since that night, I haven't been able to sleep or eat or do homework. I can't stop thinking about everything that went on, those emotions, especially with her. There's a plate of rice in front of me but looking at it makes me sick. I want to say something to her to get her to talk to me, so I can listen this time. Tried texting, explaining things, but it was all my point of view and I didn't say what was really on my mind. And really, whats the hurt if after a month I won't see her again for probably a long time? I've lost 10 pounds and am running on three hours of sleep. What do I do? | I took a girl to prom, I saw what it was like to live, and now I don't know what to do and am starving and sleep depriving myself over it. |
t3_drf4r | AskReddit | I started a new job in a former government warehouse. There is a really creepy room inside. Help me figure out what it is please! | So I started this new job with an online company recently. A few months before I started they moved their operations into a former government warehouse in the south bay area. I've been told that it used to be where the government did a lot of international shipping and receiving...
Anyway, to the point. The company recently acquired the upstairs portion of the warehouse as well, and in this area we discovered a room with a solid metal door and a little two way mirror window. Behind the door is a smallish room, about 10 feet by 10 feet I would guess. The room smells very strange, and there are lights covering the ceiling but they only turn on to a very very dim level. There is a small shelf in the back of the room, and on one side of the room is another two way mirror overlooking the factory with a heavy curtain in front of it. Oh yeah, and the room used to be painted matte black. Wtf is that room? | strange small dim room with two way mirrors that smells weird and was painted solid black in a former gov't warehouse. WTF |
t3_29y257 | books | I am approaching the halfway point of The Stand, and I have a question before I continue with the book. [possible spoilers] | I have thoroughly enjoyed the book thus far, but have reached the point in the book where people first meet Mother Abigail and they decide to journey west, and this is where I have decided that I am becoming disappointing in the book. I guess I should have read more about the book first, but I didn't want to spoil the story for myself.
Specifically, it's gotten way too religious/supernatural for me. It appears that it is going to be God's disciples vs. Satan's disciples, or something to that effect.
My question is this: does this book tend towards this type of showdown, in any way? Do the religious/supernatural themes become the driving force behind the book?
If God or Satan or the supernatural, in a *literal* sense, remain central to the plot of the book I'd rather not continue. I simply does not interest me. I thorough enjoyed the purely natural aspects of this book (the plague wiping people out, the developing relationships, the struggles). Frankly, the supernatural utterly bores me.
I request that you try to be as spoiler free as possible and thank you for your help! | Does the supernatural, in a literal sense, play a big role in the rest of the book? (spoiler free please) |
t3_3vt5vr | relationships | I (18M) am trying to deal with my ex girlfriend (18F) cutting me off from her life. Is it something I can come back from or should I even try? | A few days ago my girlfriend broke up with me. She's been in a rough place lately and she left her ex for me a few months ago. In doing so she lost all of her friends who all "sided" with him. She was really upset all the time when we were together and I tried to be a safe place for her. She just told me that she believes me to be the source of all her major problems. She thinks she is a bad person when she associates with me.
I'm not upset about the relationship being over. The breakup came out of nowhere and that shows that she was thinking about some negative part of the relationship and not communicating. Without communication it wouldn't have worked out anyways. What I'm upset about is seeing somebody I held in such high esteem turn against me. I considered her my best friend for a long time even before we started dating. I was always completely honest with her and told her everything. She was one of the only people I could do that with. But now she hates me. And there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to blame anybody for her behavior. Her ex may have manipulated her into believing I was awful for her. I may have been awful for her. I don't know if she'll be more or less happy now that I'm gone, but I really hope she can be happy again.
Is this something I should just accept and move on from? Is it worth trying to reestablish a friendship later in life or has it gone past that being possible? | Girlfriend blames me for her problems and cuts me off from her life. Wondering how to bounce back from this. |
t3_2x4lgo | relationships | Found out wife was cheating a week ago. This morning I left the house. Could use some advice / support. | Last Monday, I [M35] got a call at work from a woman, because my wife [F35] had been sleeping with her husband. She sent me text messages and pictures. I immediately confronted my wife (married 5, together 8), and asked her leave. She didn't / hasn't, and we have spent the last week arguing, avoiding each other and having angry sex.
Yesterday, when she was at Yoga class - I checked the yoga schedule. Found nothing, but i don't want to be that guy or in that type of marriage, so i decided to pack my bags. I hid them and pretended to oversleep (in the guest room) this morning. After she left, I grabbed some important papers, and snuck out.
My wife works with this couple. On top of the cheating - I can't believe how careless it was. Also, turns out he may not be the first, but i can't prove it. I married her, so of course I love her, but we don't have kids and I just don't know why I would stay, other than the needy looser part of me telling me it's the best I can do.
Mobile - sorry for typos. | found out a week ago, wife cheating with married coworker. Left the house this morning. Don't know what's next. |
t3_3w6dt8 | relationships | Me [21/F] with my doctor[40's/F] a couple months, don't know whether i am actually sick or in my head? should i ask about this or not? | So I am not actually asking for medical advice, I'm aware y'all aren't doctors. I just need advice on whether this is a reasonable concern to a normal person or just me overthinking things.
I have anxiety and since summer I have been having headaches. Like consistently, I am currently waiting for a referral to a neurologist but it's slow going.
I've also been having back pain that I believe is related to a cyst (this is based off of the fact that I have PCOS and I've had cysts in the past.)
But I'm concerned about something new and I'm afraid to bring it up to my doctor because I don't want her to think I'm a hypochondriac or rather I don't want her to not care about my big problems like my headaches.
I've had freckles for a long time but I'm concerned now because I think two of them have become slightly raised up? To clarify, these two freckles are not moles but legit freckles. Like the color hasn't changed and they haven't grown as far as I can tell but when I touch them they just feel slightly different.
Adding to this is that I work at the hospital during the summers as an intern and I often see my doctor while working so I'm afraid if I bring this up to her and it's nothing that she's going to think I'm weird/crazy.
I also have to figure out if it's worth mentioning to my mom since it's on her insurance and I cannot drive. The same issue pops up with her that I don't want her to think I'm a hypochondriac or bothering her about every little thing.
So is this just my anxiety or a legitimate problem? The reason I'm worried that this is just my anxiety is because when I first started getting my headaches I kept thinking it was like a brain tumor even though I had no proof. :/ | I have anxiety that is manifesting itself through my help. Afraid to ask my mom and doctor about a new problem because I don't want them to think my actual issues aren't real. |
t3_43hibe | tifu | TIFU by scratching a gift card code off | My little brother (8 years old) has been so excited to buy a PayPal gift card so he can buy some Mythical Chests on the Mineplex minecraft server. He had been saving his money since a little after Christmas and had about $60 and we finally went to buy a card and he finally bought one, you should have seen the look on his face he was so happy. When we got home he asked me to help him buy the chests so I did, and i (stupidly) grabbed my Swiss Army Knife to scratch the code of and I went to town on it to reveal the code, I noticed the code was blurry for some reason and after scratching off all the grey security tape, I realized I had scratched the entire code off and there was nothing left. I then realized an immediately started freaking out and he's there beside me the whole time and says, "whats wrong?" and I show him the card and the look on his face just destroyed me. He was like, "its ok, I can buy another one for my birthday." (which is in September). I apologized profusely and left the room, and I'm sitting on the other side of the house and I can hear him sobbing quietly and I just heard him slam the door. I feel so bad and don't know how I can make it up to him. | Brother saved money for gift card, asked me to help him redeem it and I scratched the entire code off and now he's crying. I feel like an asshole. |
t3_yk1pj | relationships | I need to stop seeing my best friend. | My best mate [21F] and I [20M] have known each other for around 5 years, and through this point have become close to the point of almost being inseparable. We've stuck with each other through failed relationships and crappy friends, and she's probably the person I care about most in the world. As you can probably guess, I've fallen completely in love with her.
We've gotten a lot closer physically and emotionally over the last couple of months, and while I want to ask her out, I know that if she says no seeing her with any other guys will screw me over emotionally for a while.
She's been asking a lot about my ex, and asking if we're totally separated, and is planning for us to go overseas together (just the two of us)
My current plan is: Ask her out for a casual but still date-y thing (with the implication that it is, in fact, a date) and if she turns it down, suggest we don't hang out for a while. I don't want to stop seeing her, but I know I'm not going to shed these feelings any other way. Is it immoral to put a close friend on the spot like this? Is there any good way of approaching the whole "we shouldn't hang out" conversation? | Either need to go out with my friend or hang out much less. Looking for advice on the "we can't hang out" conversation. |
t3_1u92ly | needadvice | Job is killing me but I am afraid to leave. | Long story short, I've been in IT for about 20 years, I'm 38 and have a high stress well paying consulting job. I took the job about 4-5 months ago with a firm of people I used to work with at another company. The Firm is great, pays well, good people, lots of perks. The problem is that this is absolutely not what I wanted when I accepted the position. I made it clear my focus was "work-life" balance but with the customers and projects they have me on, it's not happening. This is compounded by the fact that I don't want to be doing this type of work and I'm constantly worried about the job (nights, weekends, you name it).
So I've been thinking of quitting my job, looking for a lower pay and lower stress position. I'm not sure if I want to do a helpdesk or perhaps retail or something else. Here are my questions for my fellow redditors:
1. Is it worth it? I know I'll miss the money, but I have plenty of savings and I'm more concerned about the stress and my happiness. I'm also trying not to fall into the "grass is greener" mentality, but this job almost brought me to tears over the last 3 weeks several times and I can't seem to leave the office at the office. Also, since I'm not real happy, the people around me can tell and it's effecting them.
2. Since I don't have a specific career change in mind, what advice would you have for me?
My current plan is to keep my head down until mid-March and re-assess. That will give me time to save some more money, try and resolve the work issues, and give me a more clear picture of if this is the path I want. That said, I'd like to know what other thoughts are out there. | If you are unhappy with your situation, talk to the people around you about it. Usually they pull together and help. |
t3_1jnhco | dating_advice | he (26M) says he doesn't want a relationship, but turns down casual sex | I've (25f) been dating a guy for a couple of months. He told me at the beginning (and a couple of times since then) that he wasn't looking for a relationship, which is fine. I'm 25 and not exactly looking to settle down right away.
But he sends seriously mixed signals.
He's introduced me to some of his friends, hung out with some of mine, texted to say he missed me when I wasn't available, offered to help me do major life things, been really supportive through some tough times I've had, and come to me with his problems and asked for advice and support. He even sort of gave me the key to his place (it was temporary and I gave it back).
But he also only sees me once or twice a week. We have really great chemistry but only have sex after dates. He turns me down when I ask him to come over for sex. I guess he could be seeing other people (we haven't said anything about being exclusive) but I doubt it. | he says he doesn't want a relationship, but he acts like we're in one, and he turns down sex. |
t3_1pucbg | relationships | I am a [18M], my mom [59F] is angered because I don't believe in her religion. | My mother is a devoted christian.
For years of my life I have been forced to go to church/do church stuff obliged because my mother told me that if I didn't I would go to hell/would be forgotten socially and fail in life because I dont have Jesus in my heart. It wasn't until I was around 16 that I started questioning religion related stuff and start to develop my own beliefs/get interested in religion, and obviously, as the title suggests, I stopped believing in God and I am slowly starting to stop going to church/church related events. The results of this were: mother doesn't want anything with me, refuses to make lunch for me, tells me to get a job and wants to get me to move out soon.
This has been happening for a few weeks.
Moving out is **NOT** an option.
**I don't live in the USA, where I live (Brazil) most children stay with their parents until they're done with college or get a really well-paying job and do not want to live with parents anymore | Mother is christian, I stop believing in God after being forced on doing it for 16 years, mother is not pleased and wants to disown me. |
t3_4caja9 | relationships | Having a Partner and Living your own life ? | Hello,
I (20 M) will move to my Gf (19 F) to another country in a few months.
I was lonely most of my life and Im quite clingy and often jelouse,even though I dont have a reason and she never lied to me (Im also getting better with that) but my gf said that (and I know its right and true) that she will also go out without me when I moved here with her friends because we will be together everyday ect and she wants to live her own life.
I was never good at making real friends,more like work/school friends I hung out sometimes. And I dont know what I would do if she goes out with friends ( Iam usually a little worried when she is the whole night partying and I know many guys approach her).
How do I deal with that,I said that I will go out alone then and she said she dont want that and that thats sad and that I can come with her but not always.
I also just dont want to be dependent on her to go out and have fun, I was out alone once and it was ok but far away from fun.
I know she is right but I dont want to be alone. Any tipps ? | I will move to my gf, how to deal with it to be not so clingy and living our own lifes ? |
t3_10475x | relationships | Parents (mostly mom) hates my boyfriend. | My mom is my main issue. I'm 21/f my boyfriend is 23. We've been dating for a few months now. My boyfriend is a great guy. Smart, funny, kind, polite to my parents. He's a hard worker and has plenty of ambition to do great in life.
Problem is my mom really doesn't like him. Every chance she gets she makes some comment about him. Right now he's in a tough spot. He moved to this state from like 8 hours away for a job and then 2 hours to our current city for a job. Now he lives several hours from any family and doesn't have the job anymore. He got a new job as a bouncer but doesn't make much money. He wants a day job, but due to his car dying when he moved here he has no vehicle.
My mom always says stuff about him not having a "real" job and not having a car. Her other reason for totally writing him off without giving him a chance is because his family isn't the best. His family is poor and a little different than the average and very different from mine. She assumes because his family is the way they are that he'll settle into the same life style. My parents have extra vehicles. In particular my dad's motorcycle that he never rides. My BF wants to buy it but can't right now and offered to come up with a payment plan. My parents shot it down instantly.
I hate that they won't give him a chance despite supporting every other charity case that ends up in their lives. My BF is a great guy and they won't even give him a chance. I resent my parents for it, its causing issues in my relationship with my BF because it bothers him that they dont like him, and I dont know what to do. If I defend him to my parents it causes fights and doesn't solve anything and since I'm a student and still dependant on them I can't just walk away from them. I can't make my BF feel any better about them hating him. I'm stuck between the two and can't find anyway to make it any better. | my mom hates my boyfriend for various not valid reasons. It's damaging both my relationship with my parents and my relationship with my BF. (21/f and 23/m) |
t3_z9qda | AskReddit | Plasterers of Reddit, can you give some tips for a novice about to skim large 3 ceilings in his house? | Hi Reddit, I bought my house over 2 years ago with my fiance and it needed a lot of work doing to it.
We've replastered a couple of walls already using both mixed and pre-mixed plaster and found the pre-mixed plaster is a lot thicker and heavier than the mixed plaster. However, the mixed plaster we cooked up seemed to lose its wetness pretty quickly and refused to stay on the walls.
Just in case there are multiple types of plaster, the pre-mix stuff we bought was a dark grey that cracked once dry. The mixed stuff was a light grainy grey.
Using the heavy pre-mixed plaster, we redid our hallway ceiling (first PVA coat to seal the original artex, then did 2 passes of plaster with the odd fill in) but this took us 3 days to do such a small patch.
I've been watching videos of decorators skimming a ceiling, and they get the same coverage done in a matter of 30 minutes without the need for a second pass.
The first thing that strikes me is that the plaster they're using looks a lot creamier than the stuff I've been using, and it's pink.
Is there a particular type of plaster I should be using for the ceiling? Hardware stores just tell me to buy the expensive £40pl Artex Pre-Mix Ceiling Plaster.
Oh, and we also asked a professional and were quoted £1900 for all 3 ceilings, but they wanted us to clear out all 3 rooms at once for 3 days so they could do it back to back (that means we'd need to rent storage and a van, so another £500) | What type of plaster should I be using on my ceiling? Should I add anything to the mix to make it stick better? |
t3_3s8ozv | relationships | Should my wife and I [27 M/27 F] travel halfway across the country for my cousin's Bat Mitzvah? | My cousin is having her Bat Mitzvah halfway across the country from where I live. I'm not sure whether to go or not. What factors should I consider to help make a decision?
Between airfare, hotel, and incidentals, I expect it to cost $1000 for me and my wife to travel there. But really, this isn't about the money. Our savings increase every month (and we're actively saving for retirement, etc).
My parents will be going, and they know these cousins much better than I do (my dad saw those cousins while growing up a lot). In the last 10 years, I've only seen this side of the family like once. I have only met the Bat Mitzvah girl once. I don't know them very well, and I've always felt like an outsider. They (the 20+ cousins, across 3 generations) mostly live in two major cities, a couple hours away by driving from each other. So they know each other well, and see each other a few times a year. A lot of them are like 10 years older than me, and I haven't really been able to connect with them.
My parents want me to go, partially out of a sense of duty, but also because they say "It's only events like these where the whole family gets together." But I'm not sure it's worth the time and effort to get there.
I'm much more tempted to go if my brother also goes - but it's also halfway across the country for him, too. He has the same reservations: we've generally been outsiders to this family, since they all know each other well and we grew up a couple states away from them.
To give a bit more context: one of the cousins who is my age actually lives in the same metro area as me. We're friends on facebook, but have not interacted in years. We clearly don't have much interest in seeing each other; otherwise we would have (given how close we live to each other.) | I would like help deciding to spend $1000 for airfare+hotel+meals to go to my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. What are some factors that I should consider when making my decision? |
t3_266hph | relationships | Me [25 M/F] with my FWB [22 M/F] duration, short-description | So this is a bit weird, but I'm FWB/sort of casually dating this girl. It's going well, but she started showing interest in another guy today. I got a bit jealous, but it's cool, because she's totally allowed to do that and I haven't made my intentions to be anything more clear. I like her but I'm not sure what I want.
Which is the issue that I'm looking to talk about here; I don't know what I want. I got out of a 2.5 year relationship, really serious (my first one) like a year ago, and now I'm kind of waffling between "I want something" and "I enjoy being able to talk to girls and have sex with no commitments". I do want someone in my life, but I'm not sure if it's now. Some background; prior to my last gf I could barely talk to girls, now I'm actually pretty successful. So
I'm not looking for anything specific, just advice and thoughts from other people who have been/are in this situation. She's a cute girl who's really sweet, I like her a lot, but I'm not sure if I want to give up the single lifestyle. | Please talk to me if you've had experiences where you weren't sure if you wanted a real relationship or not.What did you choose? How long did it take you? |
t3_1fc5yi | personalfinance | Pay student loan now, or in two weeks? | I know the savings would probably be nominal, but is there any benefit to paying a student loan whenever the funds are available instead of when the payment is due? I would think the interest paid over time would be minimal, but is there any reason not to do it? If I'm thinking about it correctly, it would probably add up to a few hundred dollars in saved interest over the course of the payment of $25k in loans if I prepay the extra a few weeks in advance each time. I see it as kind of like paying your half of your mortgage twice a month instead of the whole thing once a month. | I prepay by ~$200 each month, which is due on the 11th. Is there any benefit to paying the extra now instead of on the 11th? |
t3_17nh92 | legaladvice | My mom wants to divorce my sociopathic father BUT he owes thousands of dollars to the IRS and others. Any advice on how to go about this? | My father is a sociopath. He is very intelligent and knows how to act like a normal human being on the outside. He made good money as an electrical engineer for several years but rarely paid his taxes (owes somewhere around 30k or more). He also went back to school and took out several thousand of dollars in loans (20k is a good guess). The problem is that they are attached to her through marriage. These were not joint decisions.
My mother is a victim but my father might be very good at saying otherwise. He abused my mother (physical/emotional) but would record her yelling at him when she fought back, went to the doctors to report emotional abuse, and tried to create a file of evidence against my mother. He has 3 mostly estranged daughters, including myself.
He cheated on her thoughout the entire marriage and has created several false dating profile soliciting naked pictures (we found them in his email a few years back).
My 50 year old father is dating a 25 year old Ethiopian woman and may want to divorce my mother at the moment. My mother has tried to get free legal help but they have told her the case is too complicated or that they have too many cases.
If my father lies through his teeth in court (which he absolutely will) are three estranged daughters testifying and some email evidence of cheating etc. enough to clear the blame? My mom is running out of options and I am hoping someone on reddit would have some advice! Feel free to ask me personal questions if you think it would help with some ideas. | My father is a sociopath and owes thousands of dollars to IRS, loan sharks etc. My mom was abused, cheated on and wants to divorce his crazy ass before her wages are garnished. Any help would be appreciated! |
t3_u42gn | relationship_advice | To bang, or not to bang, that is the question | I'm 18, female, and in a rut. I have this guy friend who had a pretty nasty break up about a month ago with who he calls "the girl of my dreams". It was his first relationship and it lasted for 3 years during which he made all the classic "1st serious relationship" mistakes. He's still getting over her, and I can tell he still has serious feelings for her.
Now my issue is that he's attached himself to me. At first, I was in a sort of "shoulder to cry on" sort of position, but then he asked me to hang out with me during spring break and kissed me. Even before he did that I knew he was starving for female attention and I was on my guard to avoid being a "rebound".
Thing is, he claims he wants to avoid "boyfriend/girlfriend relationships" altogether now. This is understandable, he just wants to avoid more heart break. WELL, things escalated quickly, and now we've been dirty talking to each other. I'm sort of in an awkward place. I don't have romantic feelings for this guy, but sometimes I DO want to screw him.
I just turned 18, and I am very much lacking in the sex department, meaning that I have next to nil experience. Needless to say, I'm a virgin. My dilemma is that I WANT sex and I feel, but I'm not sure if I should do it with this guy because of his position. I'm starting to get impatient, and I'm about to start college, so I worry that not sorting out how to do certain things in the bedroom will cause issues in the future.
So I ask, oh magnificent, wise Relationship_Advice, should I do this guy and get it over with, or should I wait for love? The answer should be obvious to me, but hormones keep clouding my judgement. | Long-time guy friend broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years, he's fixated himself on me, wants my ass, I want sex, should I have sex with a guy I'm not in love with? |
t3_4n1nzz | legaladvice | (GA) Paypal refuses to let me use funds in my account | Hello there,
This issue has been going on for quite a while, but I recently heard of this subreddit so maybe I could get some help here. Before I continue on, I would like to let you know the amount of funds in this account is 10 bucks. Yes I know, a measly amount, but for me a 14 y/o male I think of that as a steam game or a movie ticket. Anyways, I made the account almost a year ago, back in September ish. I hooked up my mothers credit card (only used it with permission) and I used the account to sell my old gift cards on ebay. After about 2 months of no problems with buying or selling, suddenly I would get an error message with no error code, just a "Sorry, we can't complete you transaction at this time". I contacted customer support, no response for months, and haven't gotten one to this day. Messaged them on facebook, gave no help there. I am not even able to move funds to the other account I created. When looking up the issue online, it seems I need to link a bank account to allow the funds to go through. There was no notice of having to do this, and the answer was only supplied from other users with the same problem, some with thousands of dollars locked. Is this allowed? Can they lock my funds until I connect a bank, with no notice of doing so? Thanks a bunch. | Locked out of my paypal, cannot access funds unless I connect a bank, with no notice before or during the issue. |
t3_353cbp | relationships | Me [31F] with my friend [33 M] of a couple months, not sure how to politely set boundaries. | Recently, I've been hanging out with a guy friend I made through mutual friends. We've been out a few times and recently, post a minor hook up, I've realized that we are definitely not romantically compatible at all.
I've told him this and he has agreed that we are just friends and any romantic inclinations from him were in my own head, which I definitely question as he still seems to be pursuing me. I've started to realize that this guy lives in his own head and rarely listens to anything I have to say.
He's the type who asks for advice then tells you he's doing the opposite of what you just advised or seems to just reach out as a way to talk about himself for endless amounts of time.
I find it a bit offputting and think he is actually a nice guy going through some rough times but add to this that he's super sensitive...and it's a bit of a mess. I'm trying to set some boundaries here as there will be frequent interaction given our mutual friend groups.
I welcome and will listen to your advice! | Guy is still pursuing me though he says he's not interested. Trying to set proper boundaries to stay friends. Help? |
t3_22j4pk | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 3+ years, I know I want to get married, but can't get past feeling not "grown-up" enough | As the title says, my SO and I have been together for over three years and have an absolutely amazing relationship. We've lived "together" for about two years (I'm about 45 min away at school and live on campus during the school year, but stay with him on all breaks and weekends).
The topic of marriage has come up plenty of times, and I'm in no way opposed to the idea, but can't get over still feeling like a child. To me marriage is a big commitment between two adults, and I know that technically we both are, but I feel so young. He has an awesome job that supports us both and offers him amazing benefits. I'm about to start my third and final year of college after which I start a clinical year in my profession that transitions into a full-time job.
But my parents still pay all of my tuition, pay my car insurance, and I'm still on their health/vision/dental insurance. To me, being an adult means being own my own completely, supporting myself and not relying on my parents for so much. My SO wants to propose, and I've brought up these concerns. He, while being completely understanding and willing to wait, doesn't agree with what I believe to be perfect grounds for marriage. I don't know if my visions of being adult are completely unrealistic and I'm being dramatic or that they actually make sense.
I think one of my main issues is knowing that I am an adult, but because I haven't had to make any (what I consider) adult decisions without some kind of support from my parents, that I don't really "feel" like an adult, If that makes any sense at all. Are there any redditors out there who have dealt with this feeling and either threw all caution to the wind and did marry their SO, or had decided to wait? What were the outcomes of your marriages? | SO wants to get married, as do I, but I can't get over feeling as if we're not old enough to make this big of a decision. |
t3_1f17lv | AskReddit | How do you go about building a house with your SO while keeping relationship damages minimal? | Im not currently building, But I plan to soon. (Within the next year.) I hear horror stories about how building a home is probably the most straining thing on a relationship, and I just want to know how, why, and what to do to negate the stress.
We own land already, and we have a rough house plan. We dont want to participate in the construction physically, but we do want to somewhat direct the construction. This isnt to say we want to tell the builders how to build the house, but we would like to voice opinions and ideas on the construction that will affect the final appearance/function of the home.
We are very compatible people, we dont fight. We voice our opinions and respect each other. Weve already brainstormed layouts, features and colors to an extent, and we agree upon most things. | Redditors who have built a home with their SO and survived (or broke up,) what can I do to make it as easy as possible? |
t3_4htu4q | relationships | Me [40F] with my dad [65 M]. Duration: My whole life. Dad is dying and I feel desensitized | Sorry for the spelling and grammar ahead of time. I am sleepy, my eyes are dry and I took half an Ambien a few hours ago.
My dad is diabetic, has chronic renal insufficiency on peritoneal dialysis. Now he is hospitalized for aspiration pneumonia and newly found bone marrow cancer.
I am just so tired of hearing "bad news" from my mom. I know she is stressed. The thing is, I don't want to hear "bad news". I just want him to pass away.
Am I a bad daughter? My dad is dragging on and there is no way for him to get better. He told my mom he didn't want to die (but he wanted to die a few days ago.) My mom keeps telling him "don't die". I want to tell my mom to give up on him and look for hospice. (They don't believe in hospice.)
I work in healthcare and I have seen many terminally ill patients. My mom keeps sending me pictures of my dad in the hospital and he looks like a corpse. I told her stop sending his pics.
He doesn't look like dad anymore. More like a cadaver.
It is very hard to take time off since I don't have many people can cover for me at work. The trip is expensive (1500 or more).
I am tired. | Dying dad. Stressed mom. Tired daughter just wants dad to pass away quickly but he is dragging./I don't want to feel so tired and numb. |
t3_2klbjo | relationships | I [29 M] fell for a close friend [26 F] but she doesn't feel the same. She wants to remain friends but I think it's time for me to walk away. | We finally had an honest talk. I asked her straight up if she saw this going anywhere, if she had made her decision. (I was pretty sure I knew the answer already, but wanted to hear her say it.) Sure enough, she said she did, but really wanted to continue to pursue a friendship as I was such an important part of her life.
I told her the truth: I have always been crazy about her and God knows I could never look at her and see her as just a friend. Maybe I just needed to "walk away" for a while.
She understood, admitted that she was still stuck on her ex, and hoped that time and space away would do her some good. "These things are outside of our control, and must happen naturally. I really care about you and will respect whatever outcome unfolds."
So I'm walking away. I've been riding this roller-coaster for too long, and it's destroying me. Of course, I secretly hope she'll realize what she's missing and come back around eventually… but sadly, life just doesn't work that way. It makes me profoundly sad to walk away from her like this, but at least I know I did everything I could. | I fell for a close friend after 1.5 years, but she doesn't feel the same. She wants to remain friends but I think it's time for me to walk away. |
t3_yt27z | AskReddit | How do you live with the guilt? I was in a bad accident last night. Bad accident last night, Truck and Motorcycle. I was the truck. | Around 8pm last night I was involve in a bad car accident. I was driving a truck, he was driving a motorcycle.
What can I do? I ran and fell next to him; asking him not to move. He was alert and talking. But blood was pouring out of his mouth. He was worried about his legs. I touched each leg and asked if he could feel it, he could. He was wearing his helmet, thank God for that. Fortunately, there were two nurses that were right there, just right there.
Reddit, I don't know what to do. I can't stop seeing him lying on the pavement. Blood coming out of his mouth. It was at a four way intersection. I was coming out of a stop to turn left, he was coming the other way and turned to his right, I turned after him. He came out of his turn (only thing I can rationalize as to why he did this, is that he meant to keep straight.) I slammed into him during my turn, about 3 feet into the turn. Very close to the stop light. I don't know what to do. How can I find out his status without upsetting him or his family? Has anyone ever been in this situation? How can I go on, knowing that he might be in really bad shape? He is a 33 yr old Doctor.
Sorry for the wall of text. I guess I just needed to write it all down. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Involved in a really bad accident. Truck vs. Motorcycle. I was the truck. What do/can I do to help him? To go on? |
t3_shhw8 | AskReddit | I need help with a bad ex-roommate situation. | My ex-friend and roommate still lives in our old apartment from last year in a city I moved away from. I left the furniture I bought for the apartment when we moved in together and he agreed to buy it from me to make both our lives easier. I agreed to a very discounted price because we were friends and although it was buy us and a third roommate, it was used. It is almost a year later and I have texted him many many times about the money he owes me, which he keeps putting off. About two weeks ago I texted him to try and salvage the situation saying that I didn't want this issue to cause any stress between us anymore and we should resolve it. He agreed and said he would send the money the Monday he returned from vacation. It is now two weeks later and I texted him asking him if he sent the money because I never received it. He said he didn't because he doesn't have the money right now. I proceed to explain to him how unacceptable his actions are and how he is disrespecting me and our friendship to which he responds in a long series of texts that can be summed up as "fuck you".
At this point I no longer care about the money, I just don't want him to have the furniture anymore. I put an ad up on craigslist to see if maybe I can get some money for it but if not, I will hire movers to just take it and throw it away (shame because it's a nice table((if you are in chicago and need a table message me))). My question is, the table is in an apartment building with a door guard so you can't just knock on his door. Are there movers that deal with this specifically or does anyone have any ideas on how I can get it? I would go to the apartment but I live in another state now. | Ex-Roommate won't pay me for furniture, what methods can I use to get it out of the apartment that I have no access to. |
t3_mtf44 | AskReddit | Reddit, I have nowhere to go, but I need to leave where I am. Please help me (or help me find help) | So, I [posted earlier] about college making me depressed, and I now feel assured in my initial, tentative idea that dropping out is the right choice for me.
The only problem is, I have no where to go. I can't return home, and I don't have friends (okay, I do, but they're all at sucky places in their lives and can't help me).
I know getting a job is the first step to independence, but I'm in a state I recently moved to and absolutely can't stand. I need to live somewhere else.
How can I get from here to there? I have $500 and can probably get my hands on another $1000 if I really need to. I'm ready to start working, I'm just the sort of person who needs other people. I'd get on a bus or train to LA tomorrow provided there was someone waiting at the other end with a pillow, a sleeping bag, and open arms.
The Internet MUST have some way of helping me find a future. It has never failed me before.
Please, don't fail me now. | I need someone to be my lifeline and help me move one with life. I'm so pathetic I'm asking Reddit to help me find them. |
t3_3grx3m | relationships | Girlfriend [f/25] broke up with me [m/26] two weeks ago, meeting her for coffee but want to get back together with her but unsure how | HI r/relationships
About 2 weeks ago my girlfriend (f/25) broke up with me (m/26) after been together for 5 months. The only reason I got was that she did not care for me in the same way I did for her. The only thing I can think which could have caused her to break up with me, was that I said that I loved her the week before, which I think took her by surprise. For info I was her first proper boyfriend. There was other signs were going this way.
In the past I cut my losses and moved on, however this time I don't want the relationship to end as she is first person who I truly cared for. Anyway she had a few things of mine at hers (only small things), so the other day I texted her asking if we could catch up and we have agreed to meet next weekend for a coffee.
Anyway I want to try and patch things up and get back together, however I'm not sure what do/say when we meet up. Should I mention I want to get back together? If so do I mention it when we first meet or before parting ways? Or do I should I not push/mention anything and just have a catch up as friends? If we only have a catch up at friends I fear she will just move on.
Any input will be great, thanks | meeting ex-girlfriend for coffee and I want to get back together with her. How is the best way to go about it? |
t3_4d9x4l | legaladvice | My ex left me and now wants me to pay her out for the equity in the home we purchased together but she never made a single mortgage payment to me | This is in Edmonton, Alberta.
My ex and I bought a house together 1.5 years ago so we are joint tenants. The mortgage and title are under both of our names.The mortgage payments have always been automatically withdrawn from my personal bank account. During the course of our time together for 2.5 years with a house, she never made a single mortgage payment to me.
She is threatening legal action towards me because she wants half the equity, and I know that technically this could go to court. So my question is if it goes to court , can I make a legal argument that she never paid me a single dime for the mortgage during the course of our tenancy together and therefore disallow her from claiming her "share" of the mortgage? | ex and i bought house together, no record of her ever making a single mortgage payment to be, if it goes to court, do I have a legitimate defense to argue that none of the house belongs to her? |
t3_h9app | AskReddit | Are things not made as good anymore or do we expect too much out of everything? | So I am a collector and dissector of electronics. I have both old and new equipment that I use and fix daily. Being around both old and new things I have always wondered if the saying "They don't make them like they used to" actually applies to most things. IMO when it comes to hand/car tools it does, but for other things I think we expect too much.
E.G.
I own an old Marantz sound system and a NES. They are old, do what they are supposed to AMAZINGLY and they still work. Yet, I'm on my 3rd Xbox360 and repair I-pods for friends a lot.
To me it seems that old things do one thing well and live forever while new things do a million tasks and die. | I have old shit that still runs, but my new shit is more versatile. Does versatility come at a cost to longevity? If so, is it worth it? |
t3_5139qa | relationships | I [17 M] have some questions about (the first steps of) dating. =) | Hello everybody!
I decided finally that I need to get going in dating. I simply cannot sit and wait for girls to fall from the sky. (lol) Therefore, I will go and approach girls. Simply behave normal, the worst thing that can happen is that she will say "no".
(Just need to think at the officers in the soviet army who got shot for saying something wrong... unbelivable how cowardish we can be.)
Well, the most important rule is how I said, behave normal. I actually had couple GFs in the past , but +7 years ago. I forgot everything.
If we exchanged smiled and/or saw eachother enough, I think ofcourse when there is a good oppurturnity to go up and say: "Hello, I am XXX. Nice to meet you! How are you today?"
Ofcourse in german, since I'm german.
(If anybody is interested in the translation, it would be: "Hallo, ich bin XXX. Schön dich zu treffen! Wie geht es dir heute?"
I think that is quite OK. No normal person would say something wrong to that kind of a question, especially if you are in the same school. What I think about though is, should I also leave a compliment to her? Like "You look beautiful today" or something else? I always read to compliment girls, but since I've never done it, I need to starting help here.
Thanks for you help in advance, and have a good day!
~SacredScout | I decided finally to end my cowardish behavior about being passive. I need help in the first steps of dating. And help is welcome! =) |
t3_3441cg | relationship_advice | This is my [19/m] first "real" relationship. My girlfriend [18/f] has had previous relationships and I feel as though I might have trouble comparing to those past relationships because she treats me very differently. | My girlfriend doesn't frequent Reddit so I don't think she'll find this post, at least I hope not. Anyway, as explained above, I don't know what to make of my girlfriend's decision. I've been in my current relationship for about two months now. Yes, I know how short of a time that is, but I should definitely include an important detail. She has been my best friend for almost five years, and only recently did I express my feelings. We aren't sexually active because of her view of "abstinence until marriage", though she has been sexually active in the past with past boyfriends. She doesn't even want to kiss me even though she has kissed other men in the past. I don't really know how to feel about this. She admits that I'm the best relationship that she's had because I'm the first boyfriend that has truly cared about her and her heart, yet she doesn't want any contact with me other than cuddles. Now just to clarify, I'm not asking for any sex, nor am I trying to manipulate her to give me anything. I just don't know how to feel about the discrepancy between me and her past relationships. I feel as if I don't really compare to her past relationships, not because she won't have sex with me, but because she treats me very differently. | In relationship with best friend of five years. She treats me differently than all of her past relationships and I don't know how to feel about it. |
t3_26rmu4 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of two years, How can I tell her I have herpes? | Many years ago, I was diagnosed with herpes. dating has been difficult since then. A couple years or so ago, I met this girl. It was my intention to tell her I had herpes before we had sex, but it didn't quite work that way.
I kept putting off telling her because I was afraid to. Now we've been in a committed relationship for 2 years, and have been having unprotected sex for most of it.
We both have pretty much decided that we could see ourselves married to each other, and she has been hinting very heavily that she wants me to propose.
I feel she needs to know I have herpes though beforehand. What's the best way of telling her, without getting dumped? I haven't had an outbreak in over 6 years, and I've been on suppression meds, but still. | I have herpes, and need to know a good way to tell my longterm girlfriend who I want to propose to. |
t3_2kfrmv | personalfinance | (CA) Should I be getting paid for the time I am scheduled and at work or just the time I am working? (x-post from /r/personalfinancecanada) | I saw a similar post on /r/personalfinance[1] a couple weeks ago about a masseur only getting paid for the time he was massaging instead of the time he was at work. The comments seemed to claim that this was illegal and the masseur should be getting paid for his time at work.
Recently I have found myself in a similar situation and wondering if there is a similar law in here Canada. I work for a certain chain of coffee shops and once a week I help with deliveries. We are required to be at work at 8:15, the truck carrying the deliveries isn't expected to arrive until 8:45 but it is almost always late putting our actual start time between 9 and 9:30 sometimes later. Until then all we can do is sit around and drink coffee. Once in a blue moon they ask us to sweep, shovel snow or clean shelves until the truck arrives which is totally ok with us as long as we are getting paid. In the past few weeks they have required us to log the time the truck actually arrives and that is when we start getting paid. Now, if we are asked to clean or sweep or whatever we can sign the sheet and start getting paid then. This whole thing seemed a little sketchy to my co-workers and myself but anytime we talk to a manager or supervisor about it they just claim they don't know enough about it, that they were just told to do it by pay-roll or something.
I am just wondering if it is legal for them to require us to arrive and wait around 1-1.5 hours each week and not get paid for it. Shouldn't we be getting paid for the time we are scheduled on the job and available to work? I tried doing a little research but the government websites don't seem to help me and I don't get anything anytime I try googling it. | Workplace requires us to arrive 1-1.5 hours early each week. No longer getting paid for the 1-1.5 hours of waiting. Is that legal? |
t3_13k3bv | AskReddit | Is our learning process backwards? | I realize that this is a stupid question, but I was recently thinking about the process we go through to gain understanding of a specific concept or area of knowledge.
We always start by learning the most basic methods and concepts and building from there. I realize that this is the way knowledge and research is built upon, but I absolutely hate this process.
I feel like I'm always told to take things on faith and learn the final objective at a later time. This seems to apply to a variety of subject areas.
I would rather be taught programming by someone saying "we want to build a program to do ____." "In order to that we need to build a function...to build a function we need variables, etc."
In other words, specifically for engineering education, I don't understand why we don't start at a high level and work our way down to a low detailed level. I would also think that this could apply to math and some scientific areas. | Why can't you just explain a full concept to me like I'm 5 and go into detail until I have learned the required depth of the topic instead of utilizing our current educational model? |
t3_1c0tv5 | relationship_advice | I need help asking an awesome girl to Prom | I am only a sophmore in High School, and my friends told me that I should ask my friend to Prom(senior). I used to like her a lot, and she felt the same way too, I still have some feelings for her, but we could never really be more than friends, because she is so much older, college, and also she is mormon(Guess her family is very strict about all that). I think she still feels something for me as well, though I am not too sure. I need a really good idea to ask her to prom, something really clever, and funny. She loves food, and running, I also can't ask her during school if that helps. | I am really good friends with this girl whom I am a "little more than friends with". I need a really clever, and funny idea. |
t3_ekm9x | AskReddit | Options for post DUI/Probation? | So, I got a DUI, because I was being an idiot - it's pretty simple, no defense of my actions there; I got blitzed (blew a .27) and for some reason abandoned my previous plans of cabbing and decided to get in my car. Not surprisingly, I got pulled over and arrested.
So, my three days in jail are up, and I'm working on figuring out what comes next. What I am requesting advice/info on is how probation works/if it can be shortened; I fully intend to quit drinking for at least a month, maybe 6, but I'll be honest - even if I'm still not drinking, I don't relish the concept of being unable to go to a show at a club, or see friends at a bar (even if I'm drinking soda) for 2 years. Anyone know if there are things I can do to shorten that period (someone mentioned it might be possible to submit to house arrest for a while, and thus shorten probation?), or lighten the restrictions (I would honestly like to be able to have a drink on occasion before 2 years from now, but I can get over it; I'd REALLY like to be able to enter bars, serve wine to others at dinners, etc within that period)?
I know I fucked up (I'm mostly just incredibly glad that no one got hurt), but that doesn't mean I don't want to do what I can to reduce the damage. | Probation after a DUI sucks; I know I deserve it, but is there anything I can do/should be doing to make it shorter/more bearable? |
t3_geko1 | relationships | Unintentionally watching my wife with another man live via hidden webcam. What should I do? | Married 7 years. Both early 30's. We filed for divorce about a month ago and I moved 2 weeks ago. So I'm pretty uncertain how I should feel about this. But right now I'm completely in shock.
Messing around on the computer and I activated a remote tracking app on my old laptop (which she kept) just out of curiosity. I admit it was an invasion of her privacy. But truly I didn't expect anything to happen. Just thought it would show me where the laptop was. Instead, what I got was a detailed report including screenshot and a webcam shot. There, sitting in front of the computer was some dude in his skivvies with his arms around my (ex)wife. Over the next few minutes, the photo updated to show the two in various cozy positions. Can't say for sure that they were sleeping together, but come on.
I feel completely conflicted about what to do with this info. On the one hand, I'm happy for her, I want her to be happy...that's a huge part of why we split. On the other hand, I called her to she how she'd react and she lied about where she was. Now I'm completely turned around and wondering if she had been cheating on me while we were together. She's not the type to pick up men or even go to bars. It seems way too fast for her to have met someone new to snuggle up with, leading me to believe this was an ongoing thing. I also suspect this is a coworker of hers that she had mentioned before.
We're still very close and care for one another a great deal (at least that's what I think/thought) I'm having dinner with her tomorrow and I don't know what to do. Pretend I don't know? Try to get her to be honest so we can talk about it? Truly, I'm not the jealous type. I'm not jealous. But I'm hurt that my trust may have been misplaced. | Caught my wife on a webcam with another man. We separated only a couple of weeks ago so suspect this may have been already been going on. What to do? |
t3_1sw3cz | relationship_advice | Dear bartenders of reddit, how do I [20/f] get to know this really attractive bartender [22/m] at my favorite coffee shop/bar? | So generally I don't have trouble being confident in meeting people, even guys, but this particular situation is a little above me.
I regularly go to this great coffee shop that also serves alcohol, and I have had my eye on this very nice looking bartender. Very attractive. I've picked up a little information on him recently, like his age and general friendliness.
Now, the problem is that I cannot just go up to the bar and order a drink, due to the fact that I am six months shy of 21. Lame. So I will have to get creative here.
So, people of reddit, what would you guys do? I don't want to make a scene and make it awkward to return to my favorite coffee shop, so I will have to be subtle.
I would say that I am pretty smooth, and even though this is awkward to say, he and I are at the same level of physical attractiveness, so it's a pretty equal playing field here. | I'm too young to order a drink, and can't figure out how to meet this gorgeous bartender that I have had my eye on forever. HELP, I'm a weenie. |
t3_27ibjj | relationships | Me [22F] with my dating interest [17 M] Is he giving signs that he's interested in me? | There's this guy that I've been talking to that i'm interested in. I usually have not a clue when a guy is interested in me. I've had bad luck in the dating realm.In a nutshell, I used to get teased for liking someone which makes me weary about telling anyone I like them. We met in a community college theatre production. Then after that quarter never saw him, since he wasn't in the theatre anymore. Then the quarter after I saw him pretty much on a daily basis. He would always shout my name across the room with a big grin on his face. Then open with a joke or two, ask how I am doing. Would act kind of nervous (at least the body language I got), he would look at my straight in my eyes but when I would look back he would turn his head away. Whenever he is talking to someone they would almost always leave immediately. He would kind of put himself down but says some good things about him at the same time. I would compliment (not too much of course). He asked me to come to one of his concerts. I gave him my phone number. it's been a few days, he still hasn't texted me. Today, When he said hey he checked me out (full on, also reading my shirt too) and we talked about going to a concert together, then met his brother. His brother (without saying hello) forgot to scan his bus card, hands me his laptop, I hold his laptop, then gave it back to him when he was done. Then my interest introduces me to his brother. Gets into talking to him for a second, but he still sneaks glances at me but I got the feeling that he didn't want his brother to know if there was something going on. Sorry if this is too wordy, but is he being nice? Is he just nervous around girls in general? or is he legitimately interested in dating? What kind of signs is he giving? or are they mixed? I would really appreciate thoughts/advice Thank you ahead of time :D | I think he's giving me signs that he's interested in me but I'm not sure. Bad luck with dating in the past. |
t3_u2eov | AskReddit | Should i be asking for comission? | This past monday i started "interning" at a wholesale funiture design/manufacturing company. I use quotes only because they basically hired me on to build environment pieces for a showroom space they have. In the two days ive been there i have built 6 4'x8'x7" platforms for them to display their tables and other furniture on. For my next project they have asked me to design and construct 5 different types of tables (4 -6 of each type totalling 30 tables) to be used to display their products in the show space. They want the tables to be light-weight sturdy and collapsable. I have designs and am ready to present them should i be asking for a comission fee for each type of table design i have created on top of my 8$ per hour? | interning, had to make tables for display of products. Original design by me. Should i charge per design ontop of my hourly pay? |
t3_17kq78 | AskReddit | Can't pay my $1500 hospital bill.. HELP!! | A few weeks ago i got really drunk at a friends house and woke up in the hospital. Yesterday i got the bill for the visit and its $1500. I am only working a part time job at a restaurant and I am still paying student debts. I dont have any extra money for this bill.
From what i know I was dropped off at my apartment complex. Couldnt get in because i didnt have my keys though so drunk me was just an annoyance to the security guard on duty. The cops were called. Two cops showed up on scene, one left shortly after, then the other marked the incident as "Handled By Officer" He handled it by called an ambulance and taking me to the hospital to sleep off my drunk.
Shouldnt the cop have arrested me for drunk in public? destruction of property? I would have actually preferred this to going to the hospital. | Im broke as fuck. Got really drunk. woke up in hospital. Anyone know how i can drastically reduce my bill? |
t3_2eegs7 | relationships | Me [22 M] About to Breakup with my Girlfriend [20 F] of a Year, Best Method Moving Forward | Welp, gonna break up with my girlfriend of a year today. I love her to death and she's been nothing but great to me, but I've just lost my passion and have become distant. I know that dragging it out any longer will only hurt the both of us in the long run.
It's just a shitty feeling though, especially after a relationship without any major bumps or hurdles. I guess sometimes it isn't meant to be.
How do you guys feel would be best to proceed? I want to minimize her hurt, she's done nothing wrong and is a wonderful person. I simply am not enjoying the relationship any more. | Breaking up with a wonderful girl, I'm just not enthusiastic or passionate anymore. How can I do this and preserve our friendship? |
t3_2hub6b | relationships | Me [35 M] with my ex girlfriend [25 F] together for 3+ years, I know her relationship is about to end and I want her back | Short back story. Ex and I dated for for over 3 years. We had a child together and recently she left me. I have custody of our daughter.
I still love her very much and we have stayed close when she was more or less homeless after our break up I asked her to stay her and we could be room mates. It has been hard but it has worked, okish.
This has let me see things with her current relationship, frankly it is going south fast. She is hard to be with at times and he is doing everything to push her buttons and not realizing it. I can see it and know where it is going, and he has already said at least once that he thinks they should step back. I am in a position to either do nothing or push just the right way and make sure it burns.
I honestly think it will end sooner or later, but sooner is what I want. I can start the process to mend our issues and be happy together.
I just don't know if I should | The woman I love left me for someone else, her new relationship is falling apart and I don't know if I should help it fall. |
t3_2je8uu | relationships | [21F] How do I heal and get over my feeling that I will always be alone? | I have never been in a relationship before, and have never had success with getting close to anybody. After years of loneliness, growing up in a house where my parents had a bad relationship, and also growing up seeing my mom cheat on my dad and then go on to have other bad relationships, I feel pretty jaded.
I have no faith in relationships, fidelity, trust, or true love. I also struggle to love myself fully sometimes. Lastly, I can LITERALLY not imagine anybody loving me or being able to be in a relationship with me. The thought of being in a relationship sounds as unrealistic as world peace or flying to Jupiter. It hurts me to feel like this, but I feel like I won't be able to love or be loved and it's a bitter feeling but I have come to accept it. | I cannot fathom ever being loved because I'm jaded. I'm lonely, but it scares me that I literally can't imagine myself finding anybody. Am I doomed or is there some way to heal this sentiment? |
t3_46wa1i | relationships | A week ago I [20 f] broke up with my [22 m] boyfriend and? | We went no contact for about 4 full days but then finally we caved. We admitted to each other that we were both a little hurt, and what had seemed like us getting back together at that moment ... doesn't seem like such a reality now?
You see, he hadn't even mentioned wanting to see me the night we spoke & came to terms with one another.. call me crazy, or tell me if i have too high of expectations but: if we broke up a week ago from 1 year and a half long relationship, went NO CONTACT, and came to the realization that we were both upset (never mentioned missing each other; red flag?) wouldn't the first thing on your list of things to do is to see me? to make sure i feel loved and important?
I waited a couple more days and here I am, sitting here in bed wondering if I made a mistake by breaking the contact rule, and trying to make things right. I'm only 20, this is my first real relationship and I don't know what else there is to do - except ask for insight
Are these his true colors?
Could he even be seeing someone else, for him to be less interested in reconnecting with me?
Am I crazy? (yes) | broke up with boyfriend, reconciled with each other a few days later, and we still have not seen each other - what is going on? |
t3_zjcna | relationships | my boyfriend [18m] just left me [20f] after a year and a half, twice. I don't know how to handle this. | i've already posted something about my relationship with my ex, but i need more help and i need a friend. even after everyone said don't be an idiot and don't take him back, i fucking did.
here is the original post:
anyway, that night (after i posted that post) he told me to come to his work place so we could chat. we did and he ended up saying he was stupid, didn't mean it and wants me back. So that was ONE week ago. This past weekend, we spent our time together alone at his place, had a WONDERFUL time, great sex, great video games, great movies, great times. And then Tuesday comes along and then BAMN again, he's leaving me over a phone call. I need help reddit, I need to get over this.
He has emotionally fucked me, and it's the most awful feeling. Someone please help me. | My boyfriend of a year and a half, left me twice in a week because he wants to be with other girls, he wants to be single. He lead me on and emotionally fucked me. |
t3_odt10 | self | The Keystone XL Pipeline...Just Say NO. | We're talking about thousands of miles of pipeline stretching between two nations here.
This is a MASSIVE long-term infrastructure maintenance issue.
Which poses an enormous threat to essential American ecosystems, especially the Ogallala Aquifer, which provides drinking water to the vast majority of people living in the 8 state region it spans.
This is also a national security issue. We may create jobs if this pipeline is approved, but is it really worth the incalculable risks to our environment, our people, and our economy?
There are other solutions for our country that will both create jobs and drastically reduce the risk of contamination of one of the Nation's most precious resources.
Is anyone else on Reddit ready to stand up? | The Keystone XL Pipeline is too long and too risky to key natural resources to be a practical (or sane) solution for our country's energy needs. |
t3_3gp7kd | relationship_advice | I (22F) want to cut a 'friend' (also 22F) from my life. However, she is a strong part of the group of friends I am in, and I don't want to loose my other friends. How do I go about this? | I have a severe dislike to this girl. The best way to describe her is that she feels as though she is perfect. On paper, perhaps she is. She's very into feminism, environmentalism, outdoors stuff. It gives her a very stuck up attitude which I dislike.
She treats everyone like they are beneath her and she is exceptionally rude to me and the kind of lifestyle I live. I like to go out drinking and enjoy myself. I occasionally do drugs, I travel for fun and I enjoy a good gossip with my friends. I'm not hurting anyone, and I have a lot of friends who I enjoy doing these things with. On average I would definitely get invited to a lot more social things than she does, but she has other friends outside the group whom she connects with.
She makes me feel worthless when I am around her. She thinks my opinions are rubbish and is VERY patronising and arrogant. I cannot stand her and I feel little and invisible in her presence because she dominates conversation with debates and holistic living topics regularly.
I want to cut her out of my life. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
However, She and I get invited to the same things. One of my really close friends is also her best friend. And if I decide I don't want to see her ever again (which would make me happy) then I would have to stop going to these group outings which would disassociate me from the group which I don't want.
If I were to organise stuff I wouldn't invite her, but I'm not big on organising things myself honestly, I just wait to get invited. Also, she does organise stuff pretty often (mainly boring sober stuff like walks etc.) but she invites everyone but me. I don't care that I'm not invited by her, cause I wouldn't invite her at all, but I do care that it's another group thing I am missing out on!!
Help!!!!! | I want to cut a girl out of my life. She is friends with my friends so If I stop seeing her, I also potentially can't see my own friends. |
t3_14f92h | self | Graduating College...now what? | On Saturday December 15, I will be graduating college with a Bachelor's business degree. The part time sales assistant internship I have been working for the past four months informed me today that there is not a full time opportunity with them and I have until the end of January to move on. (I was expecting a very nice full time offer). My parents are split and still in divorce court, my incredible girlfriend of over a year is studying abroad this Spring in France and my oldest brother is on sabbatical in Central America. I also have a car loan where the current market price is about 5 grand less than how much I still owe on it.
So here is my decision point- I figure I have two options to go on from now:
1) Find a full time job and get started on a career, asking for two weeks off in April to go visit the gf in France--getting established in my field, paying off my car, having a nice income...
OR
2) GTFO--Sell off my car (taking a hit to break even on the loan), get out of my house lease ($350/mo plus utilities), and when my gf leaves for France I go to visit with my brother- thus beginning ideally 6+ months of travel from Central America to France and other various European Countries to visit the GF and other European friends (I would have places to stay with friends in many of the places I would likely venture to)-- Not returning home till fall to begin a job search and future career.
Im really stuck. I would LOVE to go travel and explore the world, but I feel like thats not the best decision to make the current point in my life. | Begin a career hoping to get 2 weeks off to visit gf, or start traveling now and worry about money and a stable life later. |
t3_3q9rad | relationships | Should I [20M] ask her [19F] what's up? | I'm currently conflicted with myself about whether I should contact a really "good" friend of mine or not.
So the situation is that I moved out of the country for a four months because of uni, and this girl who is a really good friend of mine sort of seems to be steadily cutting contact with me. And I feel like I care much more about her than she cares about me and that gives me an odd feeling inside.
We used to be pretty close talking everyday and hang out quite often, and since I left we still really talked quite a lot. Few weeks in we reduced chatting to once a week, because we were both pretty busy with uni. Now I've only got a few weeks left before I return home, and it seems like she is cutting contact with me.
Since I left we used Facebook, Imessage, and Snapchat to keep in touch with each other. The last time we talked was a month ago, in which the conversation was initiated by me. She used to tag me a lot on stupid Facebook posts and she quit doing that too. We had a snapstreak going on for over 100 days, which she also "broke" a few days ago. I know it sounds stupid, but it's about the principle.
So now I don't know if I should text her like "Hey Julie, why don't we talk anymore?" or just drop her too as if she doesn't seem to care either.
I know it sounds reallt stupid, but it's bothering me for days whether I should contact her or not, and what I should say. I mean if she's not interested in being friends anymore, I don't feel like putting anymore effort in it.
I would really appreciate some advice :)
Oh, and I'm not a native speaker so I'm sorry for that | moved away for uni, one of my best friends started cutting contact...not sure whether to contact her or not. |
t3_4aaq1f | tifu | TIFU by making Reddit Front Page 4 months ago ("Courtesy Paper" Update) | [Link to original TIFU](
We meet again, reddit.
For those of you who read my story, here's a few unanswered questions. YES, I did tell my cousin. He's a real jerky guy, and thought himself very famous after hearing about it. Didn't really remember ever telling me. No surprises there. And yes, it did get out at work. No, I haven't lived it down.
Yesterday, I met a hiring manager for an interview at a Starbucks in a Target by where I live. Thought I'd have a good pre-interview shit, so I showed up 15 minutes early. I performed my ritual of leaving approximately 8-10 squares for the next chap to straighten up his poop-chopper. Being that I couldn't secure the handicrapper, I left it on the coat hanger. (I'm not going to quit, it's been 15 years)
I finish up and walk out of the stall. Taller, dark-haired kid in a captain America t-shirt walks right by me and into my stall. Felt bad that he had to deal with my ass-warmth.
See the kid making eyes at me in the Starbucks line about 5 minutes later, after I've sat down with the suit interviewing me. This motherfucker comes over and says "Hey man, are you the courtesy paper guy? I noticed you did it in there?" Guy interviewing me asks him what he's talking about. Kid explains in glorious detail what it was, and asks me to sign a damned napkin. Told him I had no idea what he was talking about, didn't sign the napkin. | Courtesy paper ruined my first job, now potential second job ruined by a shitty redditing teenager. I'm glad I didn't sign your napkin, and yes it really was me. |
t3_ybhvp | AskReddit | I once nearly gouged out my eye while making a carpet. What horrible accidents have you narrowly escaped? | When I was about 12, I got this "make your own carpet" kit. It had a colour coded mesh as a base into which you had to knot little strings of wool with a type of knitting needle (so it wasn't ridiculously sharp, but still pretty pointy) that had a hook on the top that you would place the wool in.
The carpet was pretty big and making it got a bit less exciting with time so I would watch TV while doing it. At some point I had the whole movement pretty much automated so I didn't always look at where the knitting needle was.
Which is how I managed, with a quick upwards motion after making the knot, to ram the hook of the needle in between my eye ball and lid. The pointy end of the needle was just stuck in there and I was holding the base. My whole family was in the room and in shock because they thought I'd gouged out my eye, but I didn't feel any pain so I felt reasonably okay. My mum then proceeded to carefully remove the hook of the needle from my eye.
After inspecting it, I saw that there was only a tiny scratch on the inside of my lid, but my eyeball was perfectly fine and there was no lasting damage whatsoever.
Oh yeah once a car drove over my foot and I was also completely fine... no wonder I never win any prize draws, I've used up all my luck! | I nearly gouged out my eye with a hooked knitting needle, but managed to get away (nearly) scratch free because the hook of the needle got lodged exactly in between my eyeball and my lid. |
t3_21ox8s | relationships | I [24M] think a girl [23F] I dated once is getting too attached. | Background on me: I have only ever been in 2 relationships each lasting 2.5-5 years each and I am only looking to meet new people and date around. I am not ready to get into a full fledged relationship just yet and it wouldn't be good for anyone if I did.
I went out last Wednesday with a girl who is new to the area. It was a fun date with Pizza, beer, sarcastic and fun conversations, and a good amount of kissing.
Since we first spoke online which was the Monday or Tuesday before the date, she has been a very active texter with texts between us daily. Fun conversation and nothing to heavy. She has said on multiple occasions that she is trying to impress me in any way she can.
I am not entirely sure this is a good thing considering we barely just met and haven't had a second date yet.
Am I reading too much into things or is she too attached already? If she is too attached, how do I slow her down from this? | Girl I just met might be getting too attached and I would like to know how to slow her down without offending her. |
t3_3xd5da | relationships | I [29/M] still don't feel like I'm doing the right thing by leaving my abusive and manipulative girlfriend [30/F]. | I still don't feel like I'm doing the right thing by leaving her. She blames her behavior on me cheating on her when we first met. I cheated on her because I was still breaking up with my ex girlfriend and we had breakup sex a couple of times. Her and I also never had a conversation about being exclusive.
Ever since that happened she told me I can't have my friends (female or male). She also doesn't like me talking to my father because he said some horrible things in an email about her.
She has hit me multiple times. Last week I called the cops and they couldn't arrest her because she wouldn't admit to it and there were no physical injuries on my face. However, I filed a police report but I'm not going to testify because I know if I don't show up to court then she won't be convicted and even though she has hurt me so much I still don't want to ruin her life and have her deported (she is in the States on a VISA).
She has kept me from my friends and even from my family.
Now that she realizes I am leaving she is saying I can have my friends and my family and talk to them whenever I want.
She has promised me she won't hit me again but she has promised me this before just to hit me again, pull my hair, verbally abuse me, or just be mentally draining.
She is telling me now that she won't be violent.
Is she only saying all of this now because she realizes that I'm leaving her? If she really loved me or cared about me then why did she keep me from my friends and family? Why did she ever physically abuse me?
Please give me some advice. | Girlfriend was physically, mentally, and verbally abusive. Kept me from seeing my friends (females or males). I broke up with her and now she is taking it all back. |
t3_10d83h | running | Should a new runner worry about form? | A friend (mid twenties, male, decent shape) is just getting into running and going out to buy new running shoes. Obviously the go-to response here is to get fitted for shoes at a running store (and do the C25K program).
Now for someone who hasn't invested much time in running, form may be an issue months or years down the road, which a running store isn't going to deal with; they will fit them for their current gait, as they should. Since my friend is going to be starting from square one, would it be beneficial to get them to start running with a more minimal shoe (like the frees) and teach them proper form? | Advise a new runner to buy some minimal shoes and teach them proper form or get fitted by a running store for their current gait? |
t3_1j73um | offmychest | I just want to put it together in words. | I had someone in my life who made me so happy. And then, with the way my luck is, it didn't last long enough. Geography reasons. He had to go for a job. I have to stay to finish school. I only have til December, so that's a small plus.
I was told going along was considered, but not in the best interest. School and all. Ok. Fine. I'll stay and finish school. That's what I'm doing. I guess i should consider my self lucky that its not that I'm too clingy, or bitchy. i know no one would say that about someone else. (I hope, at least.) All the reasons i got were about me, though. stay here for my family, my friends, my school, my job. No reasons about him not wanting me there, or not wanting something that serious. Lucky? Maybe, but I'm too suspicious of things unsaid. Not just him, i worry about what other people don't say too. before he left i told him that i love him. not because I expected anything, but because I do, and I wanted him to know. I still do, but I don't know what to do with that at this moment.
I told him I'd wait for as long as it took, that I'd finish school, and all I got was a maybe. I'm still waiting, but sometimes I wonder if I was told that maybe because I was being placated. I could just ask, I guess. But if it really is no, I don't think I wanna know right now. If it ends up being yes, I'll just count this as character building. I don't want it to be the end. He always made me feel like it was ok to just be me, even if I like a few things that are for kids, and it's ok that I've been in undergrad for 7 years. (Maybe not ok, but he didn't give me shit about it, and that felt good.)
That wasn't nearly all of it, but maybe it was enough to make it at least ok for a bit. | he got a job and left, I stayed here. I said I'd wait, but all I got was a maybe. I still hope for a yes later, but I don't know. |
t3_2lp0rv | relationships | Me [19 M] with a girl [18F] that I just met and I am completely lost on how this works | I guess you could say I'm pretty new at this dating thing. So I met her at a cafe and we talked for an hour. It was pretty good because by the end of it I got her number.This would be the first girl I have ever asked for her number (to date rather than asking her number for work purposes or other reasons). We have scheduled a coffee date (3 days from now) to get to know each other a bit better.
The thing is, we have been texting each other a bit too. We have been discussing our likes and dislikes. Should I continue this or should I stop so we have some stuff to talk about over some coffee? The texts are pretty natural, she is also responding back and asking me questions too.
My other question is what should I talk about during the coffee date? I would like to have a few things to have in mind so I don't stumble over my words
From what others have told me, there is a "texting game" where one has to wait x minutes/hours/days before responding. Is this true? Do I have to abide by those rules?
**Questions**
* Is there such thing as too much texting?
* What topics/questions should I ask during a coffee date?
* Are there taboo topics to talk about over coffee or in general for the first few dates?
* Is there a "texting game" that I have to follow?
* Do females expect smiley faces and such in texts? | I'm new and I have no idea what I'm doing in a dating situation. Apparently I was smooth enough to get her number and schedule a coffee date. And now am out of my comfort zone. |
t3_3qvdtj | jobs | Anyone apply for a Full Time position, get rejected only to find it on the job boards listed as a TEMP position now? | Like the title says:
Anyone apply for a Full Time position and get rejected only to find it on the job boards listed as a TEMP position now?
* I applied for a Full Time position, and received a rejection phone call recently, thanked them for letting me know. As I was continuing my search, I found a position VERY similar (same industry, systems/software used, description/duties) posted through a temp agency for a 6 month contract. | Rejected Due to Lack of Exp. after jumping through hoops and bounds. Saw very similar position posted as a 6 month Temp through Agency now. |
t3_3suw7v | relationships | My sister (18F) owes me (24M) a lot of money. Aunt just gave me Christmas money to pass on to her. If I give it to her, I think she'll just spend it on drugs. | Over the last couple of years, my sister has come to owe me a lot of money (around $2,000 USD). We live with our mum who doesn't have a lot of money (she owes me $5,000 USD but that's another story...), so I have helped give my sister money over the last few years. The money I've lent to her ranges from paying for her to go on school trips, to just hanging out with friends.
I don't have a lot of money myself (I work 3 jobs and am in my final year of university), but want to help my sister pay for these things as she doesn't work at all, so has little money. Yesterday I went to see my Aunt (who lives far away). As I won't see her over Christmas, she gave me Christmas cards for me and my sister. Inside mine was $250, and I assume the same was in my sisters. I text my sister to let her know last night. This morning she asked me to come meet her today to give her the money. She just asked for $25 for "food and stuff" but the house is full of food, and I get the impression she just wants to buy more drugs. I intend to give her the money when I see her tonight.
She smokes a lot of weed, and has recently started taking LSD and MDMA as well. Last week she asked to borrow $100 from me but I said no. But then a friend of hers called me and begged me to give her the money as she owed it to someone and she was in trouble with them.. so I gave her the money.
My friends tell me I'm naive, and are frustrated I keep giving her money, but I just want to help her have a good social life. It's causing me big problems as I have my own financial problems, and I'd like to save money so I can go travelling when I graduate next year. I'm unsure where to go from here. | My sister owes me $2,000. Aunt gave me Christmas card with $250 to pass on to her. I intend to, but I think she'll just spend it on drugs. Unsure what to do. |
t3_2e4utd | relationships | How do I [22M] keep my relationship with my [23F] girlfriend from "fizzling out"? | My girlfriend and I have been together for four years. we've known each other for ten.
When it started, our relationship moved very fast. Within three months, we had moved in together, and within six we were living in another state pursuing our dreams in a large city. It was honestly as close to perfect of a match as I could imagine. I loved every second I spent with her. Even folding laundry with her was a joy.
I loved her more than anything then, and I still do. But for the past six months or so, everything has felt very.. flat.
We went from sleeping together 4-5 times a week to 2-3 times a month. We don't explore or experiment nearly as much as we used to.
Communication between us, while always amicable ( I couldn't tell you how long ago the last time was that we fought over something ) has dried up considerably. On my end, it's not because I don't want to talk to her. I just feel I have nothing left to say that would interest her.
I've had a lot of success at my job, but because of that success I'm now in my second month of being away from home, which really hasn't helped with the whole communication thing.
I've tried several times to go out with her on the weekends, but it always falls flat. When I do go out with her, it's always with one of her friends and I feel like every time I suggest we go out on an actual date I get an apathetic response. I haven't been on a real date with her in months and I fail every time I try.
We're still best friends and we're always around for each other ( at least when I'm home ). I just feel like the romance and the attraction we shared are fading away.
I want so badly for this to change. I want to feel like our lives are really better for being together instead of simply more comfortable. I want to rekindle some small portion of the passion we had for each other early on, and I'm willing to put effort in. I just don't know where to focus it. | My relationship with my girlfriend is slowly changing from "romantic" to "platonic". How can I change that? |
t3_28p84e | offmychest | My college teacher (might have) accused me of cheating on a quiz | The quiz involved writing a paragraph on ms word. She said it is acceptable to practice writing the paragraph ahead of time, so I went to class an hour early and started practicing. When she said it was time to start, I closed my practice document and opened a new document.
I don't think that she saw me close the window and open a new one. Today she told the class that she saw somebody cheating because they had the paragraph written before class, and then during the quiz, they "pretended to write" (which I didn't do because I started from scratch, but maybe she assumed I did). She also mentioned that they had their e-mail open, which I did not, but maybe she thought I was using the e-mail on my phone... Finally, she accidentally dropped the gender. This has been bothering me ALL DAY and I know it's going to keep bugging me until next class when she hands the quizzes back. I don't even know if the 0 in my grades is because she failed me or because she just didn't put the grades up yet. Seriously though, if I was going to cheat, then I wouldn't have made it so obvious by having my practice window on full screen. :(
I'm just hoping that, if it was me, there is a way I could disprove her. The editing time on the word document shows that I started writing when she told us to start... If that wouldn't work, then I could only hope that the college logs ALL activity... Like keystrokes and what windows are opened and closed. But I doubt they do... | came to class early to practice, closed my practice window and opened a new one for the quiz, next class the teacher tells everyone that someone cheated and dropped hints about what they did, some of the hints sounded like what I did |
t3_3o7gla | relationships | Me [27 M] I want to go out drinking with my friends | I am ashamed to say that, at the ripe old age of 27, I have never been out drinking with my friends.
Bit of backstory; I currently live in Sweden. I am British, however. I moved here for my now ex-girlfriend, but I had ties to Sweden before that. I have lived here for three years. In England, I never had friends, and, therefore, was never invited out to drink.
Since I got here, my ex and I had plenty of arguments. I wanted to go out drinking, she did not. I do see her point of view, she had aspergers.
My 'best friend', who is my tie to Sweden, said she would invite me out drinking. It has been three years, and it is always 'next time' or we will invite you.
Now, she has no problems inviting me to her place to drink with her other friends, but she knows I want to go out drinking. She knows I never have. She knows I want this experience.
Tonight, my ex-girlfriend and my best friend are going out drinking together (they were friends before me). She said my ex has been waiting long enough for this experience, and that it is time she did. No mention of me (bear in mind my ex never wanted to go out drinking before)
Possible solutions that are not solutions:
- Make plans with your friend. I can't. She is reluctant to do that. She gets busy at the last minute anyway. I do not want to be around her when she is tired. That gets ugly!
- Go out drinking on your own. Again, no. I do not know how to go out drinking. Well, I do. But, drinking on my own would not be good. I am a naturally shy person and I do not speak Swedish, and this is a part of Sweden where people are very reluctant to speak in English.
I want this more than anything, and some nights, I fall asleep crying, simply because I have never gone drinking with friends. | I want to go out drinking with friends, but after three years, it simply has not happened, no matter how much I ask. |
t3_4e75nf | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22F] of a year. She has slept with over 30 guys but is shy and inexperienced when it comes to sex. Never seen anything like it, is this odd? (x-post from Askmen) | My girlfriend (I'll call her M) has slept with about 30 guys from the age of 16 - 21, (UK and legal) yet she has a very shy and prudish regard to sex and intimacy. She will give blowjobs when drunk, and almost always go along with it if I initiate sex..but she will never be the one to engage, or tell me she wants to have sex. She claims like she has always been like this.
She claims to love sex, and love me, but this seems strange for a girl to be so shy with so many partners. I trust her completely so I don't see any of this as a red flag to her cheating on me when she drinks (like a few commented from Askmen). | girlfriend is complete opposite to those sexually open girls you see about that have had like 3 partners. Very shy and reserved yet has slept with almost 30 guys. Advice/comments?? |
t3_3idrg2 | tifu | TIFU by trying to impress some guys but fell off my bike | Unlike most FUs, it happened today.
I was bodyboarding with my friend, and I saw some pretty cute guys in the ocean. I'm a pretty good bodyboarder, so I did my best to impress them. Eventually they got out, and the waves started getting worse. My friend and I got out a few minutes after them.
We went up to the showers to rinse off. Of course, the boys were there too hogging up a shower. The cutest one, the one with a large forehead, saw me and smiled. I smiled back and then took an open shower. I rinsed off my board and I saw that the boys are looking at me while talking. I rolled my eyes, kinda pissed that they're doing that. What could they have been saying?
After rinsing off, I told my friend that I'll meet her at the bike racks because my bike is on the boardwalk. Now this is where the fuck up happened.
They're watching me as I get onto my bike and try to get my board in my arms. I go to bike away, and then I lost my balance and fell off. I struggle to get up as I'm on the ground. Then, this guy came around and just started talking to me. My handlebars swung around and nailed me in the stomach. I was laying there stuck between my board, my bike, and the ground as this guy kept on talking to me. The boys behind me were just laughing their asses off. He eventually walked away mid-sentence. I was able to get back up, but then I fell again. When I stood up, I biked away embarrassed.
I met up with my friend and I'm telling her about this, and that I thought they were extremely hot. Suddenly, I turned my head around because I heard a car coming, and it's all of them driving up behind me. As they passed me, the one with the big forehead screamed, "GNARLY DUDE!" as he did the "gnarly dude" hand thing. | I tried to impress these guys by getting on my bike, but fell off and couldn't get up. They found me later and screamed "GNARLY DUDE!" |
t3_31ylhy | relationships | I [24 M] broke up with my now-ex girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years and the (unexpected) sadness and guilt is making me second-guess this decision | We are very different people and wanted different things out of the relationship. I wanted someone more similar to me in terms of personality and values. She has admitted that she is most interested in simply being with someone for the comfort and company that comes with being in a relationship.
While I still love her deeply, I'm not in love with her, and ending the relationship is something I've been thinking about for a while now. I finally summoned the courage to let her know my feelings 3 nights ago. I was prepared for the tears on her part because I know she still loves me and I satisfy her needs of security etc, but I was absolutely not prepared for the overwhelming feelings of what I can only describe as heartbreak and guilt from seeing the pain I'm causing her, and realizing the ending of a significant (she was my first girlfriend) era of my life.
Now all I want is to kiss her and take it all back to stop the pain. Are these feelings normal or do they mean I have possibly made the wrong decision? God it hurts so much. | am experiencing feelings of guilt and unexpected heartbreak over a breakup which I previously thought was pretty self-assured to me. |
t3_2lyf2f | relationships | Me [35 M] with my wife [38 F] of 2 years (together for 5), I have had an emotional affair and don't know how to continue | Hi all, throwaway account as I'm not sure if my wife knows my details.
I've been having an 'emotional affair' with a girl (29) at work (in another country) over Skype for a couple of months. My wife found out and it stopped but has started up again. I'm really torn between the two as I really love my wife but I find my self thinking of the other girl a lot of the time. My wife is devastated but is trying to fix things but I find I'm lying to her a lot again.
To make matters worse, my wife is ill and will be having an operation shortly that will make her infertile. She has 2 children from a previous marriage but I have none ... I think this is also affecting both of us a lot.
Please help as I don't know what to do ... | Emotional affair at work over Skype (different countries). Wife found out and is devastated but I can't stop. Also will not be able to have children with wife |
t3_4wo3jm | relationships | Should I tell my sister that her boyfriend creeps me out? | My sister is 20, and her boyfriend is 18. They've been together for about a year now, and every time I see him (which is often because I live with my sister), I get these really bad/uncomfortable vibes.
He's never done anything creepy or wrong, or even given signs of going in that direction, but he just feels to me like the kind of person who could. It's a gut feeling, and I do not like it when he's around. I feel unwelcome if I am in the same room as them, and that doesn't help with the bad vibes.
I talked with my mother about this, but she says it's just jealousy, and it comes from me not being able to spend as much time with my sister. I know it isn't jealousy. I've never felt this way with any of her other boyfriends.
I want to talk to my sister about this, but I don't want her to get upset with me. She loves him. He buys her a lot of nice stuff and treats her like a princess, and i think it has been easy for her to open up to him...She seems happy with him, and I want her to be happy, but at the same time I am always hoping that she breaks up with him just because of these intense bad vibes he gives me. I'm not the only one who gets them either...one of our mutual friends can't stand him, and when my cousin was visiting she said he seemed kind of off...
Do you think it's okay to bring it up with her? Or am I just being paranoid? | for no identifiable reasons, my sister's boyfriend creeps me out. I want to bring it up with her but I don't know if that's a good idea. |
t3_43xclt | relationships | I'm not sure if my friend [17F] only talks to me to keep our snapchat streak | Firstly, I apologize for any typos/autocorrect errors because I did this on my phone.
Hi Reddit, I'm back again.
So basically I have this friend who we've talked for a long time, and had a snapchat streak for 61 days. However, I've recently noticed that she doesn't even open my snapchats for a while, and her snapchat score goes up dramatically (the amount of snapchats she's sent/received).
Sometimes she will open them and then not respond for an hour or two.
I haven't thought anything of this until I recently developed feelings for her.
Worst case scenario she's ignoring me, best case she doesn't wanna seem creepy. | friend doesn't open/respond to my snapchats for a while, while searching responds to other people's. I'm not sure if she's only talking to me to keep our 61 day streak. |
t3_133pyb | college | Advice on what to Major in | Hey /college,
I'm in High School right now, heading off to college in a year or two and I really need to figure out what I want to do with my life, and what I should major in.
I've always had a desire to teach, but I honestly wouldn't know what to teach. I would be a great English teacher, but everyone keeps telling me that there's no demand for English teachers in the jobs world right now, and that there's a high demand for Math and Science teachers (which, conveniently, are the subjects I don't enjoy).
My friends tell me I would make a great psychologist--I give great advice, am always willing to listen to others and solve their problems. But I don't know if I could see myself being a Psychologist, necessarily, I don't know why but it hasn't clicked with me.
I'm an online video producer and have been quite successful with it. I love editing, recording, and uploading videos, and am not bad at digital media, either. The thing with digital media is it's a hobby for me, and I don't know if I would want to make a profession out of it.
I'm a musician, as well. I play multiple instruments and have a good singing voice. Many people think I should do something with music, but I have doubts about my musical abilities for some reason; I don't know if I could keep up/if I would have the motivation to put hours on end practicing.
I'm the Class President for my grade, and I work well with all kinds of people. Everyone calls me a leader, but I don't see it.
That's me in a nutshell, and I have no idea what I'm going to study in college. Please help me decide what I should major in/do with my life.
Thanks in advance! | Need help choosing a major. I like English class, music, psychology, and digital media. What should I choose? |
t3_3iea6d | loseit | sobbing because I need to stop eating sugar, what's wrong with me? | I'm sitting here sobbing looking up articles about how to quit sugar. I've had metabolic syndrome and PCOS since I was 13. then I found out I'm highly allergic to gluten, dairy, pinto beans, pineapple, cranberries and various other things. now I realize even if I work out 3 times a week I won't lose more that 20lbs. I need to stop eating sugar.
I've know this for a long time because, who doesn't need to cut down on sugar? but I've always LOVED candy, soda, cakes, cookies, pasta, potatoes, if it has carbs I love it. and crave it. daily.
I feel so stupid for being so upset about this. I felt the same way when I stopped eating gluten.
but now I feel like if I actually go through with it I'll just be eating salads the rest of my life. I feel like I won't be happy anymore, where will my comfort be? how will I be able to enjoy food?
I suffer with a mood disorder and sugar has always been there to take the edge off. it's a lot easier to eat a cookie than take a walk when it's 90 degrees out. but then they say sugar worsens depression.
it just doesn't seem fair. I feel like I can't eat anything. my entire body is inflamed and hurts all the time. im tired all the time. I've been borderline pre diabetic since I was 13. I know it seems melodramatic but I literally feel like life is gonna suck if I cut out sugar.
sorry I don't know if this is the place for this but I just needed to vent and ask people for some support and advice on how to start quitting sugar. | I already have a lot of food restrictions and am feeling sad/overwhelmed about giving up sugar. please advise. |
t3_2fgscj | relationships | Me [40 F] with my codependent(?) roommates. | I live with an elderly woman and her disabled-ish daughter. Elderly woman has no friends or hobbies, spends all her time cleaning up after daughter and working on house projects that were put off after her move a couple years ago. Daughter has a few physical limitations, but nothing I'd call crippling, she's got time and energy to go to social gatherings, shop, cook and bake and make huge messes doing so, but insists she doesn't have the capability to work, she "needs" her nap every afternoon otherwise she says she'll get sick. She spends most of her time lately cooking and baking and taking care of her bf who just moved in (and is now being taken care of by both of them).
*Question is this*: I want to understand, at what point does "well, she's happy [taking care of people]" become a problem? I'm 80% certain neither of them knows how to function as an independent entity, but if it makes them happy...? | codependent roommates trouble me on a daily basis. (and yes, moving out soon, but they will remain in my social circle.) |
t3_3y4yqg | tifu | TIFU by letting a girl with a boyfriend come over to mine | So this happened about 2 months ago and i am still receiving consequences from the whole situation.
I am 18 and currently live in an apartment with my brother and have a lot of free time where its just me alone bored.
This girl lets call her taylor was upset one night because her boyfriend was being a dick to her so she wanted to come over to mine and just chill and have couple drinks, i thought whats the worse that could happen.... well apparently she had feelings for me, confessed those feelings, and then when i dropped her home (i wasn't drinking) she gave me a 1 second max make out sesh.
Well fast forward to next day where at my work where me, her and her boyfriend all work together it was a bit rough because she decided it would be a good idea to tell him about the whole situation, this then led to me getting punched in the face and pushed against a wall by the boyfriend at work. Also it resulted in everyone from work hating me due to the fact that the boyfriend was friends with everyone and told them that i took advantage of his GF even though she kinda cheated on him...
So right now i am dealing with over 40+ staff hating me for something that was a stupid mistake that i have apologised for multiple times, I've been threatened with expulsion from work, police involvement and charges of sexual harassment.... also the boyfriend wants to beat me up and has made threats towards me and says he would come to where i live. | kissed a girl who had a bf, bf punched me in the face and turned all of my work place against me and i nearly got fired |
t3_2bl5rz | relationship_advice | am i [f22] expecting too much from my socially anxious girlfriend [f21]? | any advice would be greatly appeciated. so here goes without going into much detail...
my girlfriend has some social anxiety issues that she takes some pills for and is waiting to see a therapist. however ive had some issues of my own with my health and in the last couple of months i have had to go into hospital for a couple procedures and surgery. she wasnt there for me.
my family didnt like the fact that i am gay, so early on in our relationship (about 1.5 years ago) they threatened her to stay away a few times however they have since apologised a lot and want to have a relationship with her. i know it affected her badly and she says that her anxiety (especially realting to anxiety about being near my family) was her reason for not supporting me throughout my hospital visits and such.
while i am ill i stay with my family and it means i miss my gf a huge amount, which is why it makes me sad that even when i try to compromise to try to come to arrangements to meet me (such as just for the day with no one else around) but she still wont do it.
it makes me sad because i feel like ive lost a bit of faith in our relationship that she wont be there for me and it makes me feel sometimes that she cant love me anywhere near as i love her cos i would do anything for her. however i know her anxiety is a real problem and want to understand it more but she doesnt explain it.
so... am i expecting too much from my gf? can someone please give some advice as to how to deal with this situation and perhaps shed some more light on how it must feel for her?
thanks | my gf is socially anxious which makes me feel like she isnt there for me when im ill, what can we do? |
t3_2qo9iv | relationships | I (22F) have severe anxiety when it comes to driving. My SO (21M) of almost 2 years has no idea but wants to take me to get my license. | I have severe anxiety when it comes to driving. I've only driven a handful of times, and each time I would get these internal shakes and a sickly feeling in my tummy. I never got the opportunity to do drivers ed when I was a teenager, nor did my parents have time to properly teach me. In my home city public transportation is the main preference for getting around so I never made the effort to learn. Yes, I regret it very, very much.
I moved to my boyfriend's town recently. It's small and the only way of getting around is to drive long distances. He has no idea I don't have my license because he's the one that does the driving since he knows where to go plus he loves it. I'm so ashamed to tell him, or ask him to teach me. I just feel like a huge loser and a failure if I were to admit it to him.
I want to get my license and I want to drive very desperately but I'm scared to. In other aspects of my life I'm a perfectionist, and because I don't know how to drive I'm scared I'll fuck up. I realize that some mistakes on the road can lead to an accident or worse... I don't want to drive under that kind of stress because I don't want to put my life at risk or anyone else's. Looking for any advice on what I should do, or tips on driving, etc... | I'm a huge pussy who is scared to drive, and my boyfriend who doesn't know of my anxiety wants to take me to get my driver's license. |
t3_3j9nwb | tifu | TIFU by losing a cusp | So today I noticed that I lost a cusp. No idea where or when it went. It's been over two years since I've seen a dentist and now I'm kicking myself. Seriously, how does one lose part of their tooth and not notice? The cusp are the pointy bit's on your molars in case you didn't know. So now I have a mangled molar, going to need a crown if not a full rc.
I've been struggling financially and mentally for a few years now, no idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life, neglecting myself and my health. I'm a god damn mess, and the biggest fuck up was taking this long to notice the damage I'm doing through neglect.
What the fuck happened to my god damn tooth? Did I end up swallowin a chunk of fucking bicusbid. | my life is in ruins, Ive ruined my teeth. Fluoride may be used by the government for mind control but given I'm looking at a thousand dollar root canal, governmental mind control isn't looking too bad. |
t3_pqakk | AskReddit | Suboxone questions? Does anyone have any experience with this stuff? I'm addicted to Vicodin, need some advice. | So I've got a Vicodin addiction. And I am **beyond** done with it. I hate every aspect of it, I am so done.
I've got 2 options as I see it. I can continue weening myself down (so far down to about 12 a day, from 30 a day) or, I can walk into my doctor tomorrow and tell them I have a problem and see what happens.
The main issues I have are this: The ONLY part of quitting that scares me is the withdrawls. I hear it's about 2 weeks of misery. Does the Suboxone help with these 2 weeks?
Also, I stand to lose A LOT family wise if I tell anyone. I am determined to do this VERY stealth like.
And I have no desire to go to treatment, and I will not go. I have a wonderful life. I am not self medicating for any other reason than I am now afraid of what will happen when I stop. (I started taking them for an actual injury, that is now tolerable pain wise, but I am too far gone to just stop taking them) The ONLY thing bad in my life, is this. I hate it.
Please go easy on the mean comments. I am not proud of it, and am trying my absolute best to rectify my problem. Just need a little advice from someone who's been there.
Sorry about the grammar, punctuation, etc. I assure you, it's the least of my problems right now. :) | How do I get through the 2 weeks of withdrawls from Vicodin addiction without suffering too bad, so I can be done with this crap FOREVER. |
t3_383o2k | weddingplanning | [Rant] My bridesmaids are dropping like flies | Monday morning is a good time for a rant, right?
So I'm having two ceremonies due to family in literally the farthest corners of the country with health concerns... and when I asked my bridesmaids I made it really clear that I didn't expect them to be in both and that they could pick the ceremony that was easiest for them to attend. But, I needed to know upfront since that would affect how many groomsman we had at each ceremony (DF's friends are much more flexible). Even with an easy out, they all said they wanted to do both. Great, problem solved, bring on the groomsman!
A couple girls have had big life changes since I originally asked them (totally to be expected), but I contacted them right after and offered them a gracious out. No, they're still totally in. Ok, great!
Cue a few months later after all the guys have their suits and travel plans in place and girls start dropping... even ones that I specifically asked if they were still in.
Now, literally every bridesmaid except for one has dropped one ceremony or the other OR BOTH and I'm completely out of replacements and back-up replacements. I just had another girl drop this weekend and it's so late in the process (wedding is in October, bachelorette party is planned) that I feel guilty asking someone else when they're obviously a second choice.
I feel so stuck because I don't want people I'm not close with in the party, standing up with my at the wedding and getting ready day-of, etc. but I can't leave DF's boys partnerless either. At this point, my only options are my step-brother's girlfriend or my ex-girlfriend. The whole situation is so frustrating and causing a lot of hurt feelings on my end because I made sure to check and double check with them and then months later they change their minds. | if you make a commitment, follow through or take the gracious out when it's offered. Bad bridesmaids == many sleepless and teary nights. |
t3_4bwjh4 | relationships | My (27) gf (25) wants to meet my parents but I dont want to do that | Let me start by saying I never had much of a relationship with my parents. Not that it was bad or abusive, its just we never comunicated or shared secrets or any that kind of thing. In all my years I probably havent talked more than 30 hours with my father, and 80 or so with my mother in my entire life. So yeah I know lack of communication is an issue.
In the other hand I had several long relationships break down because girlfriend would want to meet my family, and would be very confrontational when I would refuse. They took it as a sign that I am secretly married, a criminal or whatever. And I wouldnt back down and it inevitably broke down.
Recently I read a similar thread from a girls point of view and what happened to her boyfriend happened to me. Repeteadly.
I dont know why I feel uncomfortable bringing them to meet my parents. I guess I feel uneasy about involving them in the relationship, the preasure. I fail to understand why it is so important for women to meet my parents. Relationship is between you and me. Not my parents and you. I also never felt any interest in meeting their parents or going to their home for a diner or something. I always tried to avoid it as much as possible.
Now the question is am I wrong? Is there a way to have a normal relationship without involving my parents into it? Why does it mater so much to the girls? | Dont want my girlfriend to meet my parents but she is preasuring me. I wont back down and relationship will go to south as a result. What should I do? |
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