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t3_1h1ks2 | relationship_advice | [24/m] An old high school chick(24/f) has me questioning all of my current plans | So I recently got out of the military and moved back home. ~2 weeks later I find out that this chick i went to highschool with, we'll say Lissandra, also recently became single and started to hangout with my friend and I. One drunk night Lissandra tells me that she's into me and that night ruled. The next day we hung out again and I made sure that it wasnt just drunk Lissandra talking previously, and she does dig me. I've said, in front of her, that I dont want to ever have to do a long distance relationship again because my last one absolutely sucked. So she has asked me to stay in my current city. turning down a sick job offer 2 states over. So I found myself applying for jobs in my current city at 3 am today because I never sleep.
My question is: Is it crazy of me to want to stay here and make this work? Is the possibility of a great relationship failing worth giving up a once in a life time(quite literally, you dont understand how sick this job is) opportunity?
Now I know that I need to have a talk with her about all this and that will happen later tonight. I'd just like a second opinion or 2.
What makes her so amazing is that she makes me feel like what I say and do matters. She gives me a sense of worth that no one has ever given me before. On top of that, she's a nerd gamer who makes laughs and she has one of those smiles that melts your soul. | An old high school chick told me that she's into me and now I am debating throwing everything I had planned(including a job that pays 80k/year) |
t3_3d7qvk | jobs | I need some help with phrasing an answer | I did a search to see if a similar question was asked, so if this is repetitive, I apologize.
In addition to wanting to find a new job, I've been hoping to move out of the state, possibly more so than finding a different job. The reason is while objectively my city (Houston) is a *great* place in the entire country to live and work, it's just really not for me. It's too big and too damn hot, not to mention I've been here all my life and it's really time for a completely different change of pace and a new and exciting adventure for me and my wife, who's also wanting to leave. We are both small town people at heart and would love a move to a more isolated place.
In past out of state job interviews the question "Why do you want to move to [location]" always comes up, and it's a legitimate one. What I'm concerned of is that if I give an answer describing my motives as I did above, they might take it to mean that there's a possibility that I'll just get bored with a new location and then want to go back home or somewhere else. My dad has told me stories before where someone says "Yes! I want to move up north!", spends a single winter there, and then moves back south. Not to mention, it's a little strange for a 20-something to say they want to leave the big city for a small one. | How do I honestly say that I'm sick of where I'm living and want to move while sounding professional and without sounding flaky? |
t3_xjgcv | AskReddit | Reddit, I can't deal with stress at all. Even minute amounts of stress. I get physically unbearable symptoms. How do you manage everyday life? | Reddit, I need your help. My health needs your help. Ever since I was about 16 I've had a problem handling stress. Everyday I'm battling to do what I need to get done and it is making me sick. Stress is ruining my life.
Let me give you an example. Everyday tasks are burdens. I feel worn out from taking out the garbage, or walking the dog or doing my school work. I get spine tingling sensations down my spine, my entire back, neck and below my ears breaks out in cystic acne. I get sores on my tongue...
If I do absolutely nothing for a few days and just veg on the couch I return to normal and the symptoms go away. The problem is, I'm not doing anything strenuous and my course load is really light. I don't feel like I should be this stressed out but its like any little bit of stress I experience gets put under a magnifying glass and results in physical symptoms.
One of the doctors I've visited diagnosed me with ADHD and put me on a stimulant that helps me get things done but I still get physical symptoms. Eventually after a few months I have a melt down where I give up on life because it is the symtoms get too bad, sleep for 16 hours a day for a week or two straight just trying to recover. I've dropped out of college 3 times during finals and wasted over $6,000 on classes I was doing well in but couldn't finish because the stress was too bad. Again, light course load and relatively easy work but I just couldn't muster up the willpower to do it and when I could it caused so much stress that the physical symptoms tolled me out. I don't get it...
I take vitamins, I exercise, I meditate everyday, I've taken a stress management class at college, I try listen to positive music but nothing seems to really solve the problem. What can I do to treat my stress? I am in so much pain from these sores today... | I have physical sores caused from everyday stress that hurt so bad. What can I do to manage everyday stress better? |
t3_1rsd1v | relationships | How do I [37 M] persuade my wife [32 F] to contribute towards the bills? | So, my wife and I have been married for seven years. I work full-time and she works four days a week and earns about 60% of my wage.
Since we've been married, I've always paid all the bills (rent, health insurance, utility bills, council tax, etc.). She spends most of her wage on herself (make-up, clothes, shoes, bags, etc) and only contributes to the food budget if I run out of money completely.
However, due to a protracted court case I have recently had to start paying a higher rate of child maintenance (about 20% of my wage) for my daughter from my first marriage and this has meant I am finding it really difficult to pay the bills. Plus, due to some problems (car accident, pet hospitalised) I've ended up with some additional debts.
I have tried to talk to her about things needing to change but she just gets angry and tells me it's my problem because it's my expense having to pay child maintenance and she doesn't think she should have to contribute because of this. She basically always turns it around and tries to make out that it's me that's the problem - 'if I was a real man I would support her', 'if I was a real man I would be earning more', etc. and we can't have a sensible discussion without her labelling me a loser for putting us in this situation...
I am running out of ways to make her see sense and the whole situation is getting me incredibly stressed. I can see the debts mounting and I know I can't keep going like this. I don't spend anything on myself and she spends hundreds every single month on new things. How do I make her realise she needs to contribute? Or am I - like she says - being selfish in asking her to and should I try to find more work? | I pay all the bills, my wife spends most of her wage on herself. How do I make her realise I can't go on like this and I'm totally stressed about things? |
t3_22tslr | relationships | I [24]want my Ex-Girlfriend [23F] of two and a half years back but need to learn how to be happy with myself and grow before that can happen. How do I make a better version of myself for the girl I Love? | So me and ex split up about six months ago and just recently started talking to each other again in the last few weeks. When we first saw each other I ended up skipping classes all day, taking her to lunch and generally having one of the best days of my life. I had forgotten how it felt to be with her as in the last few months of our relationship I had taken her for granted. I nearly cried every time I opened my mouth about our past or my feelings, and it was right then I realized that I want her back, but for keeps. I want to marry and have kids with this women, I want to make her happy again.
The trouble is I'm scared. Since we've started talking she's made it abundantly clear she isn't ready for another relationship (with me or anyone else) but is open to casual dating and even sex with me. She frequently tries to seduce me and when she has it's absolutely mind-blowing sex, by far the best I've ever had. I've only succumb once with the mindset of using sex as sort of a carrot to starting to re-date me. She wants to wait, which I'm willing to respect, but I realize that my window is small. If I want things to work between us I have to learn how to be comfortable with myself and be a strong, confident man, not a trembling young boy riddled with insecurities.
I realize I'm sticking my neck out and risking getting hurt, but I'm okay with it. I would regret not trying or not giving this girl everything I've got more than another broken heart. I Love Her to bits and want to do everything in my power to make her happy because I know I can, but not before I take care of myself.
So what are some tips, strategies and ideas to help me to Love myself & continue to mature and grow? What are some things that show I've matured and still care about her? | Want my ex back, she's not ready atm, need strategies/ideas/plans/ways to grow/ love myself & ways/ideas/plans to get her back |
t3_stfaq | relationships | Leaving all you've really known. | I'm just looking for some advice and maybe some opinions from people who have left the only relationship they've ever known, and how they managed to move on.
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, since I was 17. I am now 21, he is 27. We moved in together after 8 months, and have lived together since. We have had our huge share of problems. I feel I've already left this relationship. I don't know who my adult self is. He is controlling - not in a malicious way, but he does do malicious things. He wants the traditional 'burbs life. I want to be in the big city. I'm career-focused and work all the time. It's just what I have to do to get ahead, I have the world at my feet career-wise. I guess he has already done all the career-building stuff, and I'm just arriving.
He wants to be on me and with me all the time. He makes me feel bad for working, going out with friends, doing anything that doesn't involve him. I can't stand him touching me, it makes me feel actually ill.
I know it doesn't sound like it, but I do love him. I just don't see compatibility. I don't see a long life together. I don't see myself doing the things I need to do without him either stopping it entirely, or making me feel horrible for it.
I just don't know life without him. And I am so frightened, but I think/know it has to end. Reddit, have any of you gone through a similar thing? How did you get over it? A world without him will be alien to me. | How did you get over a relationship that wasn't working, even when you knew it had to end? What were the next 6 - 12 months like? |
t3_21rb48 | cats | Cat got out for the first time today, scared the $%#! out of me. What do I do if it happens again? | First time cat owner here, had my adorable cat for about a month and a half now, and she got outside today. I didn't mean for it to happen. I was giving my dog outside a biscuit and she was doing her usual thing, peeking around the corner and stuff curious, but she had never actually gone outside before, so I wasn't that scared, but then she darted outside.
My dog chased her to one end, then another end, barking her at her furiously while I am chasing the both of them trying to figure out what to do. My cat ninjas up the wall of my house and climbs to the top of this fence where she's hissing at my dog who's barking furiously still (now at me though, because I'm trying to move him), and I quickly scoop her up and take her inside. The whole time I'm taking her my dog is trying to get at her. Poor thing.
I know this is my fault for letting her out, I should have been more careful. | What do I do in the future if she gets out again, though? What if she had jumped the fence, do I chase after her? Do I try to beckon to her instead? |
t3_4l8dwb | relationships | Me [26 M] with my "friend" [23 F] she's talking to her former FWB [2? M] behind her boyfriend's [27 m] back. I'm confused. | My friend, "Sam", was talking to me about how her former FWB and lover were talking together again about a month ago (possibly even sooner). Her boyfriend however found out and was a bit upset with her. She was telling me that he was upset and that he doesn't trust him being around her. Sad part of all this is that, she's openly admitted to be cheating on her boyfriend with someone else, could be the former FWB or someone new idk. He's told her, "I trust you completely, but I don't trust him [the former FWB]." She's told me she lied to the boyfriend and told him that she's stop talking to him for a bit.
Now my question is...what the fuck should I do? Why does she need to tell me this? Should I give her advice or walk away from her? Thanks. | Friend lied to her boyfriend about not talking to her ex anymore. She's openly admitted to cheating on her boyfriend, with the FWB or with someone idk. What should I do? Thanks. |
t3_aeuny | AskReddit | Advice On a Interfaith Relationship | Hi Reddit;
I am a Muslim (non practicing as in sex, booze and not seeing inside of a mosque in last five years) who is dating a devote Christian girl (Bible study every Friday night, Saturday church activities and sun day school). we have been together for almost two years. I have been going to church with her out of respect and has done my utmost to stay out of her way in regard to her religious beliefs. The only time i have tired to express my views are when her church preached about evolution and earth being 6,000 years. Any way over past month i have found out that her family and church has been pressuring her to leave me behind my back. In case of her family they have not met me once, all they know about me is that i am muslim and when i proposed to meet them and explain to them that i no way intend to change their daughter faith and my beliefs are more agnostic and that i am Muslim only by name cause i was born to a Muslim family, they have flat out refused. I have found that they are refusing cause they do not think i am human and i am devils hand trying to corrupt their daughter. Any way her parents have given an ultimatum for her to choose between me and them and if she choose me she going to be disowned. I am wondering if any of the redditors have any experience in such situation and if any of you guys and girls know any way i could get through to my gf parents and explain who i am and my intentions? . We both love each other very much and do not want to separate and neither one of us want her to loose her family. I should also note that on my side, my family could not be more happy with us and have repeatedly said would not ask her to covert or talk about religion. | girlfriends parents freaking out cause i am not of same faith as her and has given an ultimatum and would not give me time of day to listen to my point of view. |
t3_1agqi7 | relationships | Is it normal to have fleeting moments of nostalgia for single life in first serious relationship? | My SO [22M] and I [19F] have been together for about 7 months now, and though I have seen a couple of other guys in the past, this is my first 'serious' relationship. I was just wondering if it was normal to every now and again, though very rarely, feel slightly nostalgic for single life?
I love my SO with everything I have - he means the world to me - and I would in no way EVER want to trade being with him for the single life, but I guess after 18 years of single life I'm taking a little time to adjust. I don't miss anything like wanting going out drinking and hooking up with randoms or anything, it's just little stuff, such as having heaps of time to myself (I'm a huge introvert/homebody) or not having to consult/think of anybody else's feelings when changing things about myself ("Will I be less attractive to him if I...?").
So yes. In no way do I want to be single again - I want to spend the rest of my life with this man - but just sometimes miss some aspects of how life was for me beforehand. Am I alone in this or does everybody get this once in a while? | I love my SO dearly, but am used to being single and every now and again I miss some aspects of single life. Is this normal? |
t3_3t99ym | relationships | I [21f] am at my wits end with my boyfriend[22] of 4 years. He spend all the money he gets from his cappy car washing job to smoke weed and even takes my money sometimes. | We have been dating for a while and when we first started, he didn't smoke. After about 6 months, he started to. It doesn't bother me that he smokes. I used to do it. The only thing about this situation is that he spends ALL his money on weed, and if he has enough to cover him for the next day he won't go to work. I have told him multiple times that he can not choose a plant over me, I have left him for months and after he stops smoking, come back for him to just start again. He spends more than 140 a week, leaving me to pay most of the bills. I somehow can't get over this hope that he will change. I mean... I made plans for the future with him and now... I'm not sure. He says he doesn't care if I leave him when I threaten to and then when he sees I'm serious he says he will change. And does it for a week or so... and then the cycle begins again. Our lease isn't up for another 4 months, so we are stuck either way.. what do I do? I don't want to lose him but I won't let myself be taken down with him. | Boyfriend spends all his money on weed, promises to change when I say I'm leaving. Changes for a week then goes back to it. We live together. |
t3_29l1ky | relationships | Me [17 F] with my SO [17 M] of 10 months, facing major difficulties because of my drunken mistake | Okay so, this is a pretty long story.
My boyfriend and I have been together about 10 months and it's definitely the best relationship I've ever been in and he's my best friend along with being my SO.
We went to a friend's party the other night and I drank way too much (which unfortunately has been a common thread for me lately). I ended up kissing(or being kissed by moreso) a friend(F17) of mine.
As I've said I was incredibly drunk and of the actual incident I only remember being confused and trying to find my boyfriend. I told him immediately after it happened and naturally he left the party to get some time to think.
He left with a girl who we've both known for a long time. She dated an ex of mine and has been heartbroken ever since he left her. He only went with her because it was late at night and she was going to get food. After he returned I was upset with him and vice versa but we more or less reconciled and have talked about the situation quite a bit.
He says he forgives me for what happened but I'm not sure I can forgive myself. Along with this I'm highly intimidated by the girl he left the party with and despite any difficulties I've outlined to him about mistrusting her etc, she seems to always be around. | I cheated on my SO while drunk at a party and it's causing a lot of strife between us. Also a girl who I do not trust seems to be around my SO a lot and it makes me uncomfortable. |
t3_myl5n | BreakUps | GF wants to experience "the single life" | My girlfriend broke up with me to "live for herself" for once (she's been in relationships ever since freshman year, she's 22 now). I'm leaving for deployment tomorrow, and she wants to get back together when I get back. Our relationship was perfect when we were together, and everyone was envious of how perfect we seemed together despite it being long distance. She said if she did end up sleeping with someone else, it would only be a one night stand, if anything. She still wants to stay in touch while I'm deployed, but should we? I feel like she's just going to sleep with random guys while I'm in another country and just expect me to wait for her to realize what she had, and allow her to come running back. Am I wrong for thinking this? Should I allow her to come back to me? | my girlfriend broke up with me to experience "the single life", but wants to get back with me when I get home from deployment. Should I let her? |
t3_k3eft | travel | r/travel, help me find a cheap flight so that I can go see my grandfather in Europe before he dies of cancer. | My Opa (Dutch for grandfather) has cancer and is at the lowest point he's ever been. He is no longer being treated or medicated except for pain relievers. My family is expecting him to pass away very soon. I spoke to him briefly on the phone early last week and all he said was that he hoped to see me one last time before he dies. It was heartbreaking.
I'm looking to purchase a RT airline ticket online from Toronto YYZ into Schiphol Airport AMS in Amsterdam. I will hopefully be departing Wednesday or soon after, and returning back to Canada around the 23rd. I can be flexible on the return date.
My main issue is affordability vs. scheduling. There are some airlines (Air Transat) that have tickets below $600, which works with my budget, but do not depart for another couple of weeks. If someone could help me find a flight around that price or lower, and leaving as soon as possible (wednesday at the earliest), I would be forever grateful.
Please help me see my Opa one last time before he goes :( | I need help finding a RT airline ticket, departing Wednesday from YYZ to AMS, returning back whenever, for $600 CAD or less. |
t3_534n3n | relationships | My friend/colleague of sorts (22F?) asked me (23M) a question about being ignored and what are reasonable reactions to this. I responded...and was subsequently ignored. Am I being unreasonably needy or is she out of line? | My friend and I work on a special online project together. She was confused about someone's response to harassment. The person had said that "if you would feel upset or annoyed if you tried to talkj to someone and they ignored you, you're harassing them."
She said:
> I mean yes, when I speak I want them to notice me, because otherwise we aren't communicating, I would say that if you speak to someone and would not be bothered if they ignored you, you have no interest in what they have to say and are speaking to listen to your own voice.
> I would agree I wouldn't necessarily be *angry* if someone flat out ignored me when I spoke to them but I fail to see his point.
She was asking for my take, which I provided-mostly agreeing with her, with the additional caveat that the respondent in question discussed 'making your piece' in front of someone...which is a bit OTT for just trying to approach someone for a chat.
It's passed now, but when this occurred I started feeling quite needy and, well, abandoned (lol.) I felt used for some reason-just asked a question but then not granted a response even. I hate bringing up stuff like this IRL because I don't want to look over-sensitive or victim-complexed (anxiety issues), so I just spew it out online instead
I'm not sure what I said wrong, and it's *very* possible I said something untoward I'm just not picking up on, but she hasn't responded since. I got no answer or confirmation. A couple of hours later I saw her (briefly) talking to some other people (possibly clients for our project.) | I hate being that guy but when we have *literally* just had a conversation about whether it's reasonable to feel upset when ignored, and both concluded that yes, yes it is-why would she proceed to ignore me? |
t3_3rw95s | relationships | [Advice] My (25M) girlfriend (24F) has been feeling unattractive and I want to make her feel special again | Recently my girlfriend has been beating herself up about her body and how she looks. She says she has been gaining weight and is disgusted with herself. I personally haven't noticed anything and think she is just overreacting. I love her body and am so physically and emotionally attracted to her and I want to make her feel that way.
Little things that didn't bother her before, like me becoming friends with a girl on Facebook or liking a picture of someone on Instagram is now getting in her head. She is comparing herself to my exes and saying she will never be as skinny or pretty as them. She points to those things I did as my true feelings and that "actions speak louder than words"
I want her to know she is SO attractive to me and that I love her and wouldn't leave her for any girl in the world, even if there was a supermodel knocking on my door. I need advice or ideas on how to make her feel special and beautiful again because it breaks my heart to see her so down on herself. | girlfriend has been comparing herself to exes and beating herself up about her body. How do I reassure her and show her I want HER and only her? |
t3_s3nqj | AskReddit | When I was a kid, my dad and I had an unspoken porn agreement. I found his porn VHS movies and took them into my room. He found where I stashed them and took them back. No one ever spoke of it. What are your funny early porn stories? | When I was a kid, I used to run through my dads drawers all the time hoping to find some cool stuff. I had found his playboy collection which I thought was pretty cool, but nothing like finding his porn movies. I used to take them and then put them back the next day and eventually got lazy and didn't put them back.
I went to grab a porno from my sock drawer and noticed it was gone. I went back to the hiding spot and sure enough, it was there. After a while of this and with my ability to get porn dubbed from friends, I started my own collection. To test out if this worked both ways, I stashed them in my usual spot and grabbed one of his so he would come looking for it the next time he wanted it.
Sure enough, a few days go by and I notice not only did take his movie back, but one of mine as well. This went on until I was about 16 and started watching DVDs. Not a single word was said by either of us. Anything similar happen to anyone else? | I used to take my dad's porn and he would come and take it back, borrowing some of mine when he did. We never spoke about it |
t3_50jero | relationships | Me [24 M] with my friend? [23 F] 1 month, Mentally I'm struggling to physically intimate with my breakup 7ish months ago | Hi,
So roughly 6-7 months ago I found out my GF (We were together for 7 years) was cheating on me. I found out through some circumstances and even posted on here around then talking about it got a lot of support etc and I even listened to you guys I left her went no contact etc. Honestly It was a blessing having you guys there to help and even had some people reach out and share their experiences and Pm'd me. Just to have someone to talk to anonymously was nice.
So fast forward to now, I've been somewhat seeing a girl. I really like her she is great. We go on dates (zoo, brewery tour etc.) Awesome. That part is great I enjoy hanging out with her but my concern lies in the fact that since everything happened with my ex who I was intimate with (she was my only partner the only person I even kissed if we're being honest here up until that point) I'm like not interested in being intimate with anyone sexually. I went home with someone after the bars one night and… it was awful. I didn't enjoy it. What I'm trying to ask is is this normal. Do people go through this? I don't want to be unfair to this girl I'm hanging out with now because I know she likes me and there have been moments where these things above may have happened but they didn't. It's not that she isn't attractive either she is gorgeous.
I just don't want to be unfair to her. At the same time I don't want to talk to her if she is going to think I still have feelings for my ex because I don't. I just really like this girl but I'm afraid this is going to mess it up or maybe I'm just not ready for something like this. I really don't know what you guys can tell me but I wanted to at least get this out here and see if what I'm feeling is normal for some people and what your opinion is. My guess is people are going to tell me I need to be open and tell her about it (not as easy as it might seem). | ex cheated on me a while back we broke up. Seeing new girl and mentally it's hard for me to be intimate with anyone on a physical level. Is it normal if not what does it mean. |
t3_1352os | AskReddit | Reddit, is finding the perfect person worth a friendship? | * Here's the long of it: I dated a guy for about four months, and he fell incredibly hard for me. The problem is that he had quite a few issues with drinking and his anger. There had been a few occasions where he would get quite angry with me or yell at me after he drank too much. On the particular night I broke up with him we had been at a party and he got into a huge verbal altercation with one of his friends that almost turned physical, he then tried to grab my arm and pull me to leave. I broke up with him practically on the spot.
* Where it gets terrible on my part is that I stayed, and ended up staying up almost the entire night talking to one of his close friends (who I had always had some attraction to). We always knew we got along with each other, but after talking most of the night we realized the extent that we truly had in common. We decided to go on a few dates and keep it just between us. Fast-forward a few weeks and we're considering getting serious, but we both feel so unbelievably guilty about my ex, his friend… The new guy now wants to end things because he is just too uncomfortable doing this to his friend. I personally think that if you meet someone who is perfect for you, it should be worth a friendship. Especially when we are each what the other would describe as the completely ideal partner. What do you think Reddit? Is this something that is worth fighting for, or should it just be left to die because it will hurt someone? | Have a shitty ex. Dating his pretty close friend. Should it end because of guilt or is falling for someone who is perfect for you more important? |
t3_3b16x0 | tifu | TIFU: By wearing a "No Ma'am" shirt to a college campus | In all honesty I wore it not knowing that day i'd be going to a college campus, had I known i'd be more sensitive. My predicament was that no one understood it was from a 90's sitcom about stupid sexist ideas. Whether or not the show perpetuates those ideas is one thing but I wore the shirt because I enjoy Al Bundy as a character and my brother got it for me for Christmas. Being the asshole he is my bro is not good at getting me gifts and barely breaks the 20$ mark let alone the thought that went behind getting me something from one of my favorite shows.
Needless to say it's a bit special to me and I wear it because I like show and my brothers thoughtfulness. When I got to the campus I got the ugliest looks and comments from onlookers. Mostly women whose general disgust I understand and to those that gave me a look rightly so.
I felt those who stared reserved judgement but felt emotion, they thought to themselves what a scumbag I must be to wear such a shirt. Those who chose to comment upon me and degrade me in passing though I felt were making snap judgement's.
"Probably can't get no pussy that's why.." then the rest was inaudible as she pointed her finger at me from bottom to top.
Other mutter's from onlookers and their male friends joining in to be chivalrous who have absolutely no idea what to be enraged about. Now I understand it's an inflammatory statement my shirt makes as my girlfriend pointed out it's generally saying "fuck women". She likened it to me wearing a star of david with a red mark over it, because it's from a show I like, does that make it alright?
I'm looking for opinions on this subject as I went to a level I perhaps shouldn't have. I unfortunately likened my situation to that of a women dressing "promiscuously" because she likes the way the clothing makes her feel and NOT for male attention.
Does my intention for wearing such a shirt count for anything? Or am I wrong to compare it to a woman choosing to dress how she wants because of how it makes her feel? | I wore a shirt from a tv show that was sexist in tone and I feel bad because i'm not a sexist. |
t3_1j8u0l | relationships | I [23m] don't know how to deal with my jealousy in a two months non-commited relationship with a girl [20f] | I have something going on with a girl [20] for two months now, and my jealousy is killing me :/
I actually can't really tell you what's going on between us. We are a couple, but she doesn't want to commit to a relationship - meaning we do what every couple does: spend a lot of time together, talk, laugh, have sex, sleep over etc.
I didn't quite understand why she doesn't want to commit to a relationship. I asked her twice, and both time she would rather end what we are having than commit to a relationship. She said, shes going to her hometown in the vacation anyways (beginning of august till end of september), and she doesn't want to any commitment whatsoever since her grandma is sick. On the other hand she said she likes me a lot, my looks, my behaviour etc. and loves spending times with me. And that she would be hurt if I was to meet another girl.
That there is no commitment at all thus feeds my jealousy. She doesn't makes me jealous on purpose, but she's a good looking and really nice person and therefor she gets hit on almost every day.
Right now there is an example of what's driving me jealous. A female friend of her is on vacation and she was asked to look after her animals. Her friend lives about 3hrs away from our town, and shes staying there for a week. Her female friend asked a male friend of her to come over in the meantime to kill time with her while she looks after the animals so she doesn't get bored.
As said, I don't think anything would go on even if he tried to hit on her, but the whole situation makes me really uncomfortable. Last week she went to a concert with someone of her college, and after that they had some drinks till late in the night.
Regarding the situation, I can't even say anything to her, since she has no obligations. She could do whatever she want, since we are in no relationship. And the toughest time is still ahead when shes gone for 7 weeks. Any piece of advice for me? | I'm irrational jealousy since I'm in a non-commited-relationship and I don't know how to cope with it. |
t3_lr1ii | AskReddit | What do I want for Christmas? | I know it's early to be thinking about it, but my SO has been asking me what I want and the truth is that I don't know... Help me decide reddit!
I'm into all the usual indoor things like music and gaming an that. Skyrim would be a possibility aside from the fact that I'd have to wait (hell no)!
Flavour of the week seems to be photography and I've been pining after a DSLR, nothing too fancy but still a little too expensive. I've recently borrowed a Pentax film SLR and have enjoyed shooting with that and the two lenses that are with it.
I'm not a fan of gimmicky presents and would rather someone donated money to charity then get me something that's just going to sit on a shelf and collect dust. But she said she still wants to get me something and doesn't know what. | I'm very fussy and can't figure out what I want to ask my girlfriend to get me for Christmas. Even though I asked for nothing she still wants to get me something... What should she get me? |
t3_yp2yi | AskReddit | What is your most memorable comeback to an insult that someone has said to you? | A few weeks ago, I was walking down the hall of my work when some really preppy, fundie, blonde girl, who works on my floor came up behind me. Her personality is an exact copy of [THIS] bitch from Easy A. Anyways, she comes up to me and says "Are you going to go out to smoke?" I respond with "No, why?" She then tells me that "Well you shouldn't because it's disgusting. I could smell you when you walked in the door today." I let it go. I was pissed because who is she to tell me how to live my life, but I did the mature thing and just let it go. At the end of the day, when we were in the elevator together, she goes "You better not go smoke another cigarette." Now I'm pissed. So I respond "Look, don't tell me how to live my life. I don't tell you how to live yours. I don't go out my way to tell you how to do your make up in the morning." Clearly panicking she goes "What?!? What's wrong with my makeup?!?!? What's the matter with it?!?!?" I respond with "Well, you are clearly smart enough to tell me how to live my life. You'll figure it out.", and I walked away from her. It felt really good knowing what I just said would really bother her the rest of the day. No regrets. | Bitch at work tried to tell me how to live my life. My response made her insecure about her looks for the rest of the day. |
t3_14vwqh | relationship_advice | Is it possible to get over the fact that the girl I like has had sex with one of my close friends? | My friend and this girl went out earlier this year, but their relationship was dysfunctional and ended about a month a go. However, during their relationship he boasted about having sex, which I know is definitely true.
One of the many reasons they broke up is because she began to develop feelings for me. I tried to just remain friends after they broke up (for obvious reasons) but realised about a week ago how much I like her.
At the same time though I'm completely put off pursuing a relationship because she's slept with my friend. The thing is, I wouldn't be bothered if she'd slept with someone I didn't know or if she'd dated my friend without having sex. It's just whenever the sexual part of their relationship is mentioned or it's implied that they had sex I feel really uncomfortable.
Just to clarify, we are all 18. I'm still a virgin and I have little experience with relationships so if anyone with experience could offer some advice I'd greatly appreciate it. Right now I have no idea how to proceed. Do I move on? Do I "get over it"? Do I give it time and see what happens? | I can't seem to cope with the fact that the girl I like has had sex with one of my close friends in a previous relationship a few months ago |
t3_3hontk | relationships | I [23M] am unsure of how to proceed with a girl [F~23] at work. | Hi everyone. I [M23] am a janitor at a small town public school. She's a teacher [F 20-something] I met very recently. I find I think about her all the time and am unsure if this okay on professional as well as personal levels.
As to the former, she's obviously a bit higher than me on the totem pole, if you will. What do you think? Should the help ever become romantically involved with faculty?
I know we've connected at least once: she made a lovely sound of approval when I was pretending not to look at her in passing. That was our first contact. Then, the other day, she stayed pretty late into my (evening) shift, seemingly JUST to meet me and let me know which room was hers. Wishful thinking, maybe. For what it's worth, I've since altered my routine so that I can see her daily and at a good time. (More than happy to plan my whole day around those eyes...)
If you guessed I'm a little shy, you're correct. We haven't traded many words yet, just pleasant greetings and goodnights. She's very kind. I only wish I could know how much of it, if any, is enthusiasm toward me, personally.
Anyway, please advise. I'm all kinds of nervous and excited, unsure of how to proceed, and not entirely sure if she or anyone would even want me to. | Very interested in a girl at work; don't know how to approach it based on what she's given me so far and, perhaps, considering the culture in our workplace. |
t3_32vmzc | relationships | I [25m] just had lunch with my ex from high school [25f] and said I said I wanted to be friends but I don't think I can handle being friends. | We dated off and on from when we were 15 to our sophomore year of college. we lost our virginities to each other. I broke up with her because of the distance. She texted me last weekend because she lives in my area now, and we got lunch today. I had fun. It was a little weird, but not in a bad way. It's not like I'm still in love with her or anything. But every impediment to us being together (at least for me) isn't a factor any more, and while I've had girlfriends since her she's still the only person I've ever told I loved them besides from my parents. We're different people now though, and she just got out of a long term relationship.
I don't know if it'd work. I don't know if she'd want to try. I don't know if she's still in my league. Honestly, I'm kind of thinking it wouldn't happen if I tried. But I have to try, right? My chest has felt tight for days and I'm super keyed up. I don't want to keep feeling like this. She wasn't in my life before today and it wouldn't be the end of the world if we weren't friends. I don't want to make a fool of myself though, and I'm also worried I'm getting caught up in the idea of something that's not necessarily based in anything real. What should I do? | I don't know if I can be friends with my ex, but I'm worried that I'm getting caught up in our history and not looking at things objectively. |
t3_cys5m | AskReddit | Reddit: How should I respond to this ridiculous argument about gay marriage? | A couple of days ago, my sister posted a facebook status basically saying "yay for the turnover of Prop 8." In reading the comments I saw an argument between her and one of her lame friends, who was making the typical right wing arguments about judicial activism, the judge being gay, and so on. I decided to add my two cents by copying and pasting the text of the 14th Amendment, Section 1:
>All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
In my mind, that's pretty clear. But he just posted a response today saying:
>lol.... " No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States" ... prop 8 doesn't abridge the right for any man or woman to get married... it just keeps the term marriage between one woman and one man. Every Gay still has the same equal opportunity to be married to one member of the opposite sex.... Seems equal to me.....
He could just be making a stupid joke, but arguments like this really piss me off. They even piss me off to the extent that I am having trouble thinking of a good response. What would you say? | What do you say to someone who argues that homosexuals have equal rights because they're 'equally' allowed to marry heterosexually? |
t3_31rr8p | relationships | Me [33 M] with my wife [27 F] married for 3 1/2 years, how do I deal with her anger, insensitivity and threats of revenge | Not sure where to start, but I guess I've waited too long to seek help. I was under the impression that she may be a little immature and thought that she'd be more reasonable as time passes. But that hasn't happened.
I've been reading reditt relationships posts for the past few weeks and from what I read I'm thinking that people might suggest counseling at least and divorce at most.
But the situation I have with her is that I'm scared to bring up the topic of counseling, it'd be like letting her know that I'm thinking she or both of us need professional help. I'm pretty sure that she'd dismiss my thoughts and utterly misunderstand my intentions and threaten me in a tit-for-tat way, for example, being rude to my friends when they come over or being disrespectful to my side of the family or friends when they visit or call.
Please, help, I'm utterly clueless as to what I can do to escape her anger and revenges. She does that for every minute silly thing we have a disagreement with. | Me [33 M] with my wife [27 F] married for 3 1/2 years, how do I deal with her anger, insensitivity and threats of revenge |
t3_vm3sq | relationships | Having trouble understanding why girlfriend gets mad when I don't respond quickly to texts, but only at certain times... | We're both 21, dating for 5 years. Overall a fantastic relationship--we bring out the best in each other. I know we started dating each other when we were both young, but we've made it work together and everything (in that regard) is great.
My girlfriend gets upset with me if I don't respond to her text messages "quickly enough" (i.e., anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the situation). I've tried talking to her about it before, letting her know (1) it makes me feel smothered and (2) her getting mad makes *me* mad at her. She always says she'll work on it, and she does, but after a few weeks everything goes back to how it was.
I also don't understand why the "quickly enough" time is dependent on what I'm doing. For example, if I'm at work and don't text her for a few hours, she's totally cool with it, but if I'm out with friends and don't respond, something ticks in her and she gets really mad at me.
In general, she's a "chit-chat all day" kind of person, and I'm more into talking on the phone once the day has settled down.
Can anybody shine some light on the situation? How can I better understand how she's feeling when I don't respond? How can I let her know that I think it's unfair for her to want to be in constant contact with me? | Girlfriend gets mad when I don't respond to text messages quickly enough, and gets madder if I'm with friends (as opposed to sitting at work). What's making her want to be in constant contact with me? |
t3_1m2esx | relationships | My girlfriend [17/F] is putting me [18/M] in the Biz Markie situation...kinda | My girlfriend has recently went away to college and to make a long story short I have been nervous about her and her two new guy friends. One of them likes her friend and the other does too, but my girlfriend has said she feels jealous of all the attention her friend is getting.
I went to visit her campus and her friend seemed nice but the other one didn't seem to like me very much, wouldn't talk much to me, etc. It could be because my girlfriend told them of the things I was saying to her, like accusing her of sleeping around with no real evidence. I feel like a huge asshole and have apologized tremendously. I have threatened breaking up with her before because it seems like she has been disinterested in the relationship through her text messages. But I understand that college is a new experience for her and she is busy with new friends and stuff.
She also stayed at the one guys house with the other guy and another female friend and drank with them, after telling me multiple times she would never drink without me. I forgave her as I understand the peer pressure especially with her new friends
She spends a lot of time with these guy friends but I have no real reason to distrust her as she only lied to me once about "dirty texting" her ex bf. I have apologized a whole lot and she always forgives me and knows that i'll come back around. We have talked about marriage and a future together and after all my anxiety and nervousness about her cheating she still says she wants to marry me. I am scared however that her appearance and self-esteem issues will make her validate herself by being a slut in college while she has me on the side to marry down the road. | Girlfriend is now in college and has guys who are "just friends" I am a wreck about her cheating. No evidence but I accused her. She forgave me. |
t3_4gd219 | relationships | I'm (F 26) having trouble feeling "special" to my boyfriend (M 33) of almost a year because he has done the exact same things for most of his other girlfriends, am I being immature? | I'll try to make this short, I've been with my bf for about a year and overall he treats me very nicely. Takes me on vacations (Europe, tropical, all paid by him), bought me a $2,000 ring, purses, dinners at expensive restaurants, bottles of champagne, gave me his credit card (which I never use btw), cooks me dinner and sets the table with candles etc. and constantly tells me how special I am and cites these things as proof of it. Before I dive into the issue I'd like to mention that I've never asked for any of these things and they are not why I am in love with him.
I've gone through his computer before (I know, I know..) and he has a lengthy album of him and each one of his exs. Everything is the same! Same vacations, paid for. Jewelry (not as nice as mine). Same restaurants. Same home cooked meals. Everything is the same just with another girl. Am I being silly to let this bother me so much?! He talks about how "special" I am all the time and that he wants to marry me and blah blah blah but his behavior makes me feel like he would marry any girl that comes his way. I understand that I am dating a 33 year old and it is normal and expected that he have a past that includes loving other girls but this just seems like his love life is rinse and repeat...not a turn on. | My boyfriend puts himself out for every other girl that comes his way (it seems to me) and it makes me feel like I'm not special. Am I being silly or over sensitive. |
t3_1n7kkd | relationships | I [F,24] got into an argument with a random stranger [F, 20s] at the cinema. But wait, there's more. | Me and my boyfriend went to see a documentary about the Israeli/Palestine conflict this night. During the movie, this girl and guy that sat next to us had to get up and walk past us about three times (in the span of just 90 minutes). It was annoying to have them try and squeeze through, and it was annoying because it was a really intense, emotional documentary and I felt like I was interrupted all the time.
The third time, I muttered under my breath: "Jesus Christ...". She responded with: "At least you are not being bombed!" in reference to the movie. On her way back, she put her hands on my leg and said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "can I please, please come through?"
After the movie she had one more in store for me. She tapped me on the shoulder, actually interrupting my conversation with my boyfriend, to say, "Sweetheart, I'm just checking if you are not traumatised by my annoying-ness." I ignored her. I hate confrontations, and I was feeling pretty crappy at that point.
Some background: I have moved to a new country with my boyfriend (he is form here) not long ago. I feel isolated and it is hard to make friends since I work full time and never lived here before. I noticed this girl was actually talking to some people I got to know and it worried me because she is apparently in the same social circle.
Turns out I was right to be worried since she talked about me as I walked past, saying something along the lines of "here's that lovely girl again". She tried to call out to me and tried to walk over to me, but I left before she could.
So she is friends with my new friends. I feel horrible, because apparently she is trying to bad mouth me and probably succeeding because she could say anything about me. She seems like the type to hold a grudge :(
How do I handle the situation if I run into her in the future (very real possibility, I live in a small town)? How do I make it so things are not awkward and I can continue to make friends without worrying about her? | had an argument with a stranger who turns out to be a friend of friends. She was trying to bad mouth me and I need advise on how to diffuse the situation. |
t3_1z2mtl | tifu | TIFU by accidentally molesting my 10 year old neighbor in front of her parents | I'm an 18 year old guy who recently had a new family move in next door around a month ago. They have a 10 year old daughter who, ever since they moved in, has had a weird sort of obsession with me. She tries to talk to me every time were both outside at the same time, and she follows me around any time she gets the chance.
Her parents find this really strange because well, I'm 18 and she's 10. I'm nice to her because I don't want to be an asshole, but I try my best to stay away from her because of her parents not trusting me.
Today, the girl and her mom and dad came over for dinner at my house to get acquainted with my mom and dad. After dinner, the girl decided that she wanted to go jump on my trampoline and insisted that I come too. We went outside and her parents came outside to watch her for safety reasons while my parents cleaned up the dishes inside.
She had apparently just watched some action movie recently, because this 10 year old girl REALLY wanted to play fight. So before long, we were both jumping into the air flipping at each other like ninjas.
On one jump, I threw my arm out in a karate chop and my arm ended up near the lower part of her back. We came down on the trampoline and she landed on my hand hard. We both laid there for a second catching our breath with my hand still under her. I didn't notice the position of my hand because I was looking up at the sky instead of at her... I thought I was touching her upper back or something.
Before long, her dad walked over to the trampoline and snatched her up into his arms and gave me a really nasty look. That's when I realized that my hand had been on her butt the entire time. I couldn't even explain anything before they took their daughter and went back to their house without a single word. | was playing ninja on a trampoline with 10 year old girl. Ended up grabbing her ass and losing the trust of her parents forever. |
t3_2ff9pg | tifu | TIFU By spending $1500 of my father's money on internet strippers. | So, I'm going to assume that most of you people out there on reddit are familiar with the adult site "MyFreeCams". For those of you who dont, it's a place where you can go and pay mostly college students to do lewd things on a webcam in similar fashion to sites like "Chaturbate" or "Cams.com".
I discovered this site when I was about 17.
So at first when I discovered this site, I did as many of the users do, and just sat in on other shows in which other people are spending their money so I can get my jollies off. However over time, I became more curious as to what it would be like to have a "private show" with one of my favorite girls. So I did as any broke modern high schooler does and stole my dad's debit card information, and used that to buy $20 worth of tokens, hoping he wouldn't notice. He didn't.
Jump forward about 6 months, I kept spending my dad's money with reckless abandon, paying no mind to how much I was spending. One day, my dad freaks out because he goes to make a somewhat large purcase, and his debit card declines with an "insufficient funds" error. Long story short, my dad calls the bank, who then tallies up the strange looking charges reaching back 6 months and comes to find that a total of around $1500 was spent over about 6 months. Naturally, having a teenage boy in the house, my dad questions me about the large amount of money spent on online smut. I managed to convince him that I did make the account, but it was stolen, and someone else had been using it.
So... of course, the bank files an investigation with the FBI for card fraud....which could have possibly led back to me...lucky for me, there were no traceable IPs. | Wanted to learn more about the female anatomy, got addicted, spent $1500 of my Dad's money, might have been arrested by the FBI. |
t3_201bl2 | relationships | My FWB [M18], got mad when he found out I, [F18], might have feelings for someone else. | I'm FWB with a guy I'm sure likes me. In the beginning, we were heading to the relationship path and I told him I couldn't because I didn't see myself in a relationship with him. So we continued like FWBs, and all of a sudden we were almost exactly like a couple. He told me we should be as exclusive as couples are, and when classmates asked if we were together or not he told me he said we were together, because it was easier that way. So here I am, accepting that I'm off the market.
I wrote to my best friend on skype yesterday, saying how I was broken between two guys, my FWB, and another guy I've known long but doesn't live here so the distance kinda numbed my feelings but I'm 100% sure they'd rush right back if I met him, which I will.
He accidentally read the conversation today, and wrote me a message about how I in a way betrayed him.
I don't know what to do, or say. I don't want to break it off, but he sees this as a relationship. Is it wrong of me to be hesitating for other guys since I just went with the way mine and my FWB's relationship developed? Is it better to break it off, or continue? | FWB who's in love with me found out I'm hesitating between him and another guy. Became mad. Don't know what to do. |
t3_2rgpi2 | legaladvice | [MARYLAND] Car was scheduled for Repo but was towed, Lender refuses to pick up car from tow yard, tow company fees are $1,000+ | For many reasons, I decided to let my car get repossessed. The lender called me and scheduled a day to pick up the car, I agreed, all was fairly swell considering the circumstances.
I broke my phone on the same day the car was picked up. I tried calling the lender on a friend's phone to confirm they picked it up, but the lender could not yet confirm with the towing vendor if it had been picked up.
I was in the process of moving out of state, and was unable to call the lender for a few weeks. Only then did I find out the car had not been repo'd by the lender, but it was towed because my tags were expired all of 1 month. I was never given a warning or anything...just towed.
I have been in touch with the tow yard, because there is a lien on it they are holding on to it. I have been in touch with the lender, I have continually received the run around for weeks, and only now are they claiming they will not repo it from the tow company and they refuse to pay the fees to release it from the yard.
I tried calling the tow company and just paying the fee over the phone, they will not take the payment without me being there. The lender is not cooperative either. I do not live in that state. The car is just sitting at the tow yard racking up storage fees and I am now 3000 miles away.
What are my options, do I have any legal recourse in this instance? Will I just have to fly back there and pay the tow yard release fee? Can the tow yard junk the car if it is not claimed? | Car was towed but was scheduled for repo. Now sits at tow yard racking up fees. I am out of state. The heck can I do? |
t3_4mvsb8 | relationships | Me [29 F] with my former Borderline Best Friend [32 F] and she's attempting to sabotage my relationship. | Hi Reddit,
Throwaway account because you never know. My former best friend, "Carol" has been diagnosed with BPD by a licensed therapist and freely admits to having the disorder. I've known her for two years and became acquainted with her through my ex girlfriend. Carol and I became close and I made the error of divulging information about the relationship with my ex (good, bad and even details of our sex life). I now realize that I was crossing a boundary and betraying my ex's trust by freely giving that information to another person and a mutual friend, at that.
Flash forward, my ex and I are working on rebuilding a connection and giving our relationship another go. Carol is upset that I'm no longer giving her as much time and attention and not there to pick up the pieces when she has an emotional breakdown (which is literally everyday because she's so unstable). The other night while I was with my ex, She proceeds to flip out over a span of 16 hours sending me and my ex dozens of text messages about what an awful person I am because I hadn't given her the time of day for the past couple of days.
She was so verbally abusive. I've blocked her and want her out of my life, but being the twist f*ck she is, she's decided to seek revenge by divulging all of the information that I told her about the relationship with my ex TO my ex. Sending her screenshots of things I had told her in confidence out of anger.
Hoping for advice on how to prevent her from sabotaging.
Thanks :/ | My former best friend is taking things I told her in confidence about my ex and attempting to sabotage the rekindling of our relationship. |
t3_4y7x63 | relationships | I [22F] don't understand this guys [22M]problem | I've been dating a guy for about 6 months, I met his mum, we saw each other a bit and spoke every day, it was pretty intense. About 4 months in, we had a talk and he said he didn't want a relationship, he didn't have the time. I said I understand and stupidly said I would carry on seeing him. I told him how i really felt because I feel really deeply for him, he said it's fine if it's not an issue with me. I am a sucker for punishment so I carried on, he was more attentive said more things implying we would get in a relationship, jokingly that he loved me. I kept my distance because I thought it was too good to be true. Then a friend sent me his tinder profile, which pissed me off, even though it was meant to be casual, we said we would be exclusive. After that somebody told him I had been sleeping with my ex which really isn't true, we were just civil to each other. This guy doesn't really believe me, but said it didn't change anything. We spoke on the phone for ages the other night and it made me realise I wanted more. So I messaged him and just told him I wanted more. I think it pissed him off, then he said he's done with me, it's stupid, but the thing that gets me is he acts like he doesn't care when I think he does, we ended up arguing this morning, he was pretty mad I carried it on, even though I wanted More. I really don't want to stop seeing him but I think it's needed no matter what I feel for him. How can't he see that? I'm not sure of the purpose of this text but it's nice to rant. | Dating a guy we agreed to keep things casual, I told him I wanted more after this and he got mad, do you think he actually cares more or is he just mad his situation got messed up? |
t3_36bu9b | relationships | I [19M] just broke up with my LDR girlfriend [18 F] of almost a year. It wasn't easy and I am heartbroken. How do I cope? | I don't want to get into too much detail in public, but what happened tonight was incredibly painful and difficult and I am in an immense amount of pain. We did not officially -break up- but it was heavily implied, as I don't see how we could continue. She said that she didn't know if she loves me anymore but she still wants me to date her.
I'm just so heartbroken and upset and wallowing in my own despair right now. This entire week is insanely busy and requires a lot of public speaking and social interaction. I don't know how I'm gonna get by. Please help me cope with this, or at least to bottle up my emotions for another week. | I broke up with my girlfriend (kind of) and now I am heartbroken and upset. How do I cope? |
t3_2mrpw5 | tifu | TIFU by making a joke about a ghost at work. | While at work last night(I work at a hotel) about midway into my shift a guest calls the front desk complaining about a noise in her room. She mentioned it was a constant tapping type noise and couldn't get any sleep the night before and wanted another room. The conversation goes like this.
"I fully understand ma'am, I'm more than happy to try to help get this situation sorted for you and to get the issue fixed as soon as possible. I may have to grab my manager so we can switch you rooms. Do you happen to have any idea what could be causing the noise? Does it sound mechanical or anything like that?
her "I really don't know, I'm unsure."
me " Yeah, that's definitely weird. Again I'm sorry about you having a problem with this. I'll definitely help you get it sorted. Honestly I have no idea what could be causing the noise, I mean we don't have a ghost or anything like that. (An awful, awful joke to try and cheer her up some because she was upset) a second of silence later I immediately apologized for the bad joke, and then continued with the call to try and get her room switched.
Later that night my boss finds out about it, fires me on the spot. | Joked with a guest at my hotel that I'm sure we don't have a ghost that is causing the noise in her room. Got fired for it. |
t3_3g2plx | relationships | Me [20F], I'm sexually frustrated, very lonely, and terrified of meeting men. Help! | Long time lurker, first time poster!
I've never been on a date. I've never so much as hugged a guy I wasn't related to despite being a mainly heterosexual woman with an average sex drive.
Since moving into my own place, I wanted to change that, so I set up an OkCupid account. I'd been receiving and replying to messages from a few guys I was genuinely interested in. So far so good.
Reddit, that was five accounts ago. With each account, I've gotten into conversations with someone interesting and they've wanted to meet up after talking for awhile. That was my goal, meet up with interesting people, check out the dating pool, maybe find someone I like and want to spend time with. Every time I've said yes to meeting someone, even before setting up a time, place, or even giving them my phone number I've panicked and fully deleted my account.
I've never had a bad experience with men, aside from catcalling, so I'm not sure where this feeling of terror is coming from.
Does/Did anyone else feel this way before they stared dating? Any suggestions on how to overcome this? | I want to try my luck in the dating pool, but I keep panicking when men who are mutually attracted to me offer to take me out for coffee/dinner! Help! |
t3_2z975v | relationships | Me [24/M] walk home with this girl [20ish] almost everyday, how to talk to her? | So this girl who's pretty cute literally lives across the road from me. She is always looking at me, not obvious but more subtle, but that's it. She looks a little intimidating lol but still. I mean I don't even wanna hit on her it's just someone to talk with even, it just feels weird when were walking pretty close, and only the awkward sound of footsteps can be heard.
Today, I was actually going to say hello and ask she lives across the road and damn why didn't she say hello to me first for a laugh, but she had her earphones in. But then she took them out, and after a minute or so started playing with her hair. Is this some sort of female hint I'm supposed to pick up on?
I'm good/cute looking anyway and friendly so it's not like I'm some weird creep wanting to talk with her, I think she goes college which is what I'm going back to this year to. Maybe I should post a note in her door like sup girl <3 then stand at my bedroom window looking at her window all night lmao.
So, should I just talk to her then? it really is that simple...what would make for nice small talk? | Girl lives across road from me, we get off the same bus and walk the same way, how to say hello? |
t3_4u5ehp | tifu | TIFU by almost cutting off my nipples | I was a 12 year old boy and was playing at my friend's house who lived on an orchard. Star Wars Episode 1 just came out so we were obsessed, dressing like the characters and having plastic light saber fights on the trampoline. We started recording ourselves with a video camera chasing each other through the fields and jumping over the ditches and canals that water irrigated through. I was pretending to be Darth Maul and the only black shirt I could find was a netted fabric Raiders football t-shirt. My friend started recording me when I went to jump over a canal, but the surrounding trees were providing so much shade that I was unaware of the 3 rows of barbed wire suspended across the middle of my obstacle. I crashed into the barbed wires with all of my limbs spread out like a flying squirrel and the barbs that ended up making contact with my body started at my lower abdomen and sliced me all the way up my torso. And the barbs were spread out about one foot apart on the wire, which just so happened to be the exact same distance between my nipples. The 2 cuts were about 2 and a half feet long each spanning the entire front side of my body and miraculously split both of my nipples in half! Then to top it all off, I was left hanging there in mid-air just suspended by the netted fabric of my shirt that was caught in the barbed wire. My friend's mom helped me clean up while I cried the whole time, then I went to the hospital to get a bunch of Tetanus shots... ...Good times! The best part is that in some closet wherever that friend lives now is a film of this incident! lol | I jumped into barbed wire and the distance of the barbs on the wire was perfectly spaced to slice up both of my nipples! |
t3_2icbv2 | relationships | How do I [23 M] ask a girl out on a date who just got out of a relationship? | I met this girl the other night and asked for her number. She said she wasn't ready to start looking because of a very hard recent breakup.
I told her we should exchange numbers in the meantime and that I would call her in the future to see how she was doing. She obliged and gave me her number. Here's me hoping it's hers *fingers crossed.*
How long after getting the number should I call? What should I say? I was thinking of something along the lines of reminding her who I am, explaining to her how I can respect her situation and that if being patient is what it takes to have the opportunity to grab ice cream with her then I'm all for it. I'd end it with telling her ill call her in a couple weeks.. or a month?? - to see how she's doing. Or do I call, tell her the above but initiate the idea of a date in the next few days/weeks?
She seems like a great girl and I don't want to blow it! | Asked girl for number. Hesitated because of recent breakup. Told her we should exchange numbers and I can call in the future. When should I call and what should I say? |
t3_270684 | offmychest | You are a lousy sister, and I kinda hate you. | We agreed that I was going to lace up your dress for your wedding day. You had me do it three times before hand. And on the day of your wedding, I am ignored, forgotten, and discarded. I find out when we are getting ready, that you are getting your friend to do it. The friend who had never laced you up, or laced up anything like it until that moment. Because you shut me out I had to go outside and try not to cry. Our mother wanted to walk in there and smack you. I begged her not to, it was YOUR DAY after all.
Your friend laced the top part too tight, you look fat in your pictures. You couldn't breathe. You got her to loosen it before the reception, I offered, but I guess I'm not good enough.
And today you came round, I was colouring my hair. You saw the box, so you saw the shade. You putter off to your hair appointment and come back a shade darker than mine. The same day? Really?
And the weight comments? And actually every snide remark.
I want to shut you out. I'm so close to being done with you. There is so much more crap you have done to me, but I don't want to write it all down because then I would have only one reason why I don't just walk away from you. | My sister shut me out of her wedding on the day. Dyed her hair the same colour the day I dyed mine. And is a horrid sister. |
t3_3bllh7 | relationships | I [23f] want my brother [26m] to make an actual effort in life. | I live at home with just my father and my brother. My mother died 2 years ago and my other siblings live on their own.
My brother dropped out of high school at 16 after he got expelled for setting a fire at school This was not a malicious thing, it was more out of boredom. He had a free period and hung out in the bathroom. He had gotten hold of one of those BBQ lighters and was playing with toilet paper and it just got out of control too quickly. The officer handling the case said that it would drop off when he turned 18. So he maybe a felon.
My brother had never made a real effort in school so it wasn't like it really affected him anyway. He had no chance in graduating He got all F's and made no effort at all. I think he may have gotten a good grade in cooking but that's it. He did get his GED, took a class in welding, and one in robotics with pushing from my parents. This was years ago.
He has some sorta social issue, Asperger's maybe. All i do know for sure is he doesn't shower on a regular basis, he has never had a job, and he never leaves the house. I try to bring it up to my dad but he brushes me off or says I'm being a bitch. I ask my brother if he applied for any jobs and he yells at me to mind my own business, and ignores me. I just worry that if anything happens to my dad. My brother has no ability take care of himself.
I pay rent, I work full time and I once suggested that maybe my brother should do the house cleaning since he doesn't really contribute in any other way but that didn't really bode well with them. My brother just ignores me, or if I'm really lucky he will call me names and call me lazy.
How do I get it through their heads that he needs to do something with his life? I've approached the subject many different ways varying from bitchy to not bitchy. He is almost 27. | My brother is doing nothing with his life. No one is pushing him to do anything. Everyone seems content with this plan but me. I worry about him and his current ways of life make me sad and kinda embarrassed. |
t3_1jyqep | relationships | Need wisdom about my 2 year relationship - are we deeper in love or have we plateaued? Help please! | Hi r/relationships. This is a throwaway since my SO knows my reddit name. I'm female, 26, and he is also 26.
A quick run down - we met over 2 years ago, and have been together save one 3 month break ever since. We moved in together in Oct. of this year.
My question is about how love evolves. This is the first partnership I've been in that I would call love. About 7-8 months in, I knew I was in love - sometimes I felt like my body was exploding from the intensity of the emotions. I'd cry during sex from the overwhelming feelings, he'd cry during sex from the sheer connection. That was incredible.
Fast forward to now - we both have stress in our lives (who doesn't though? I believe it is just a part of being human, and not an excuse), which doesn't allow for much 'fun' time. We are time and financially crunched due to being students in high demand fields. Otherwise, things just seem to have lost that explosiveness. We communicate about everything (I've spoken to him about this, actually), our sex life is good, and continues to change and grow..but that magic, that overwhelming feeling of connection is very, very rare now. I haven't felt it in a while - I still have feeling of intense...tenderness...but not that initial "exploding" feeling.
So, my wise friends, does this mean I've fallen out of love? Or that we are evolving from lust/love to actual love? I'm not sure what to think...I can't imagine my life without him in it daily - but I don't want to sell myself (or him..) short. I also don't want to end something that is strong, comfortable, loving, equal, etc etc because I have a Hollywood Idea of what love looks like 2 years down the road. :(
I appreciate all wisdom and insight, and thank you for your time. | 2 years in, is our love evolving or stagnating? When does lust turn to love? I want to separate real love from my perception of 'Hollywood' love.. |
t3_q4ljv | AskReddit | Men help me out. What would you have done?? or women, what would you have thought? | So earlier this morning I went to the gym to work out with a girl friend of mine. We're both very close and kinda have a thing going but have both agreed not to pursue it much.
While at the gym we were working on abdominals and core exercises and stuff, so we're both sitting on those small mat type things. While there, some guys sits down on a machine right next to us and also facing us. He's got his phone out with his earbuds in and is looking at the screen, so maybe he's just checking his playlist or something - I dont think much of it.
But as we're working out, after a good couple minutes he's still there, holding his phone up, not doing anything. I'm starting to wonder, is he recording my friend? or taking pictures or soemthing?? My friends a decent *looking girl and is wearing a T-shirt and short shorts, stuff you'd work out in. mind you we're doing abs and stuff so your legs are up and pants might ride up a bit.
When we got up to get other equipment (like medicine ball etc.) he would use the machine, but when we were back on the mats he'd whip out his phone again... I got up to return the medicine balls to the rack which is behind him, and when I got behind him he put the phone away and started using the machine again...
Now I don't want to be presumptuous, but I feel like my friend has been violated and I severely wanted to confront this guy for being a fuckin creeper, but if that wasnt the case then I'd have had no business and seemed like a jerk.
We were there for maybe a good 10 minutes before I got fed up and pulled her away. maybe a minute after he got up and relocated too.
So guys, how would you have handled the situation without looking like a jerk in front of your friend?
Or women, how would you have liked your boyfriend or close friend to have acted? | guy (possibly) creeping on my friend at the gym. how do I act without seeming like a jerk to my friend? |
t3_1pq1nb | Parenting | Ridding my son of disgusting habits... | Ok, I am at my wits end here. I have 12 yo boy/girl twins and my son has always had the habit of eating his boogers. I have tried everything I can think of to get him out of the habit and nothing has worked! I tried ignoring it, explaining it to him, getting angry, being understanding, and anything else I can think of and he still does it! I hadn't seen him do it for a while until tonight when we were watching a movie and I looked over to see him at it. Someone PLEASE give me advice on this! He knows it hurts him socially and has been teased about it in school and acknowledges the need to stop, but he still can't seem to do it!
He also chews his nails and bites his toenails, but those are other habits to work on. | My son still eats his boogers at 12 years old and I can't figure out how to help him stop. |
t3_3s8mty | relationships | Is it crazy for me [21F] to give up my dreams for him [21M]? | I'll try to make this as succinct as possible.
My boyfriend, "Jeff," and I have been dating for a little under five months. I've fallen in love with him very quickly, and want him to stay in my life forever. He's graduating from undergraduate this year, but I still have another year left. We have a healthy and cooperative relationship.
Both of us have career paths that would require a doctorate level education. We've discussed what that would look like, but he isn't as sure that he's willing to completely give up his future to tailor to mine, and there are serious questions as to whether or not we would both be able to attend the same institution for our doctoral programs.
But I've come to the conclusion that I'm willing to give up just about anything to be with him. I've always dreamt of going to pharmacy school, sticking kind of close to my parents, maybe doing some volunteer medical work overseas, and finally meeting someone after I've settled down and completed my education. But I've been feeling like I'm willing to follow him to New England away from my family, give up my future as a pharmacist if it means that I get to be with him.
Am I being irrational? | Willing to give away lifelong dreams to stay with bf of ~5 months to reconcile divergent career paths. Am I crazy? |
t3_2091n0 | tifu | TIFU by tripping over a curb | A small fuck up but a fuck up all the same.
I had just got off the bus and was walking home when I heard my name shouted, looked around and someone I hadn't seen is a long time pulled up at the next bus platform over. I walked over and chatted and then said I had to get home as I turn around to go back over the platform, I trip and fall flat on my face much to the amusement of everybody around me. The only thing I could think to do was to signal I was okay. Doing the obligatory thumbs up from the floor, which made everyone laugh harder. | I made an ass of myself by tripping over a bus platform curb much to the amusement of a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and everybody in the bus station. |
t3_41ryku | relationships | Is it bad that I (20/f) dont find my boyfriend (20/m) sexually attractive? | Alright, my as well just start this lately my boyfriend and I have been /doing the deed/ and is it wrong that I dont find him sexually attractive?
He treats me like an absolute goddess in bed and I love every single aspect about him and he's honestly who I want to marry, and we've both even looked at rings, but I'm not sure if I should feel like a terrible person or not. We still both get off but when I see him naked I dont go "oh hot damn." I'm still going to stay with him no matter what until he gets bored with me (which I hope never happens) but I'm just wondering if its a normal thing or how to fix it? | love boyfriend to pieces,were super duper happy, but I dont find him attractive naked. How do I fix it. |
t3_3rzehk | relationships | Me 24 M with my Friend girl 29 F. Am I missing all of the signals? | Hey all I just got back from seeing a friend who I met at work. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen with long dark hair, beautiful dark marble skin, and an amazing smile. I was so impressed with her personality too I asked her to lunch and we have been on five hangouts since than walking around, dining, and talking. We usually end up talking for more than 2 hours whenever we meet up. Today I met her at 4:00pm and left at 1:00 am from her apartment after watch Trump on SNL. I have strong feelings, but I think shes hesitant because she has a long distance BF who shes been seeing for four years. I don't want to be a home wrecker, but it doesn't sound serious as she shrugs her shoulders when I ask about him, said hes ten years older, and doesn't know if they'll get married. She also doesn't want to move over there to see him and he wont move here so its pretty clear things aren't working out. I strongly feel she likes me because she mentioned her first bf was nice like me and I remind her of that. So what do you think, do i have a chance and what do I do to test the waters? (Kiss? more hug?) | Friendgirl is dating guy long distance isn't serious, we hang out a bunch of time platonic invites me up to her room and we watch telivision too 1:00 am and she texts me often. |
t3_2ukpro | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [26/F] dating 5 months, I'm transgender (female to male) and need to bring up a conversation about sex | Hey all, first time posting in here
So I'm transgender, born with lady parts and have been about 7 months on testosterone. I look like a dude but have the parts of a chick. My girlfriend identifies as bisexual which is pretty ideal but has very limited experience in terms of sex and says she's a prude.
Long story short, I do things to her but she has yet to reciprocate outside of a handjob, essentially. We had strap on sex once while quite drunk but has since not wanted to do it...which is sort of a big issue for me, what with identifying as a guy and what not. I need to bring all of this up with her considering I'm starting to get bitter and frustrated feelings and can feel myself getting short with her, but I don't know how to bring up the fact that I'm sexually frustrated without making it sound like I'm pressuring her into doing something or without sounding like an asshole in general. Any ideas from you folks out there? | sexually frustrated trans guy, need to talk to girlfriend about what I want in bed/what sex looks like to me without sounding like an asshole pressuring her into stuff she's not into/not ready for. |
t3_1au9zt | relationships | Am I (21f) over-reacting to my boyfriend (24m) not getting me a birthday gift? | My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We live together and have a one year old. I turned 21 a couple weeks ago and just can't seem to get over the fact that my bf didn't even get me a card. He told me happy birthday, but that's it. I just can't get over the fact that he didn't think tom get me anything and quite
frankly it's embarrassing when my friends and family
ask what he got me and i have
to say nothing. I am feeling
very bitter and am acting cold
towards him. Am i overreacting? How do i even
bring this up to him without
sounding materialisctic? | boyfriend of 3 years/baby's father didn't get me a birthday present for my 21st and I'm having a hard time getting over it. |
t3_2i45qw | personalfinance | Should I pay back my student loans before going back to school for a new program? (CA) | Hi PF!
I'm a new subscriber, and new to budgeting - I'm trying to get better, though. So, for some description - I'm currently in a Master's program and I'm also working full-time at an ok job. I'm hoping to be done my MA in January. Since starting the MA, I've given lots of thought to what I want to do - and I'm now realizing that I really don't want to remain in this field, and that I'd like to pursue something else entirely.
So, as it is, I'm really wanting to go back to school for a BsC in September of 2015. The problem is that as of right now, I have about ~18,000 in student loan debt. I've already decided that come January, when I'll have to start paying it back, I'll be contributing 500$ a month towards the loan (my finances allow for that, plus wiggle room).
My question is - should I aim to go back to school Sept 2015 on a part-time basis, keep working (though part-time), and just not receive new loans? (At that point, given my 500$/month, my tax return and my work bonus, I'd have my current loan down to about $8,000). Or should I wait one more year, pay everything off, and save up to pay for school out of pocket?
Some considerations: I'm not a big fan of my job, I'm basically a glorified secretary in government. I could stick it out, though. Also, I'm about to be 24 and I kind of feel like waiting longer keeps me out of the market, and I'm scared about that.
So, I'm sorry for the huge post: what do you think? | Can go back to school in Sept 2015 with 8,000$ in debt from student loans. Or, I could wait another whole year, pay everything off, then pay for school out of pocket. |
t3_3ylyh3 | Advice | I think my boyfriend needs to cut back on smoking weed, he doesn't | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost five years; we're both in our fourth year of college. Since he has transferred from a community college to a state university an hour away I have noticed he is smoking a lot more than he used to. Ever since I've known him he has smoked, but I would have considered him a casual user, now I consider him a heavy user who may even be mentally addicted to weed.
I spend most weekends with him at his apartment in his college town because I don't work on the weekends. He does (retail) and I have seen him smoke before going into work on multiple occasions. He also regularly smokes before going to class. I don't live with him, so I don't know exactly how much he smokes, but I would guess at least once a day. On days he works, he likely smokes once before going to work and again when he gets home.
It's especially frustrating because he surrounds himself with people and online communities that normalize smoking as much as he does. His brother smokes even more than he does, everyone around him at school smokes as much as he does, and he regularly visits /r/trees and other marijuana websites.
What really triggered this post is that this past weekend he went to a Christmas play with his grandma and smoked before attending. To me, not only is this disrespectful to his grandma, it's also a sign that he can't do anything unpleasant without being stoned. I've said this to him before and his rebuttal is, "So what if it makes doing unpleasant things better." To me, this is a really unhealthy way of thinking and living. How can I change this way of thinking?
He also likens smoking a bowl to having a glass of wine at the end of the day which I also disagree with. A glass of wine doesn't change one's mentality or behavior in the way a bowl does. It also is obviously much less healthy. How can I show him that these two things are not the same?
Sorry, this got long. | Boyfriend smokes weed every day which I think is mentally and physically unhealthy. He smokes before work, class, and even family events. He has an excuse or rebuttal for every one of my arguments. What can I do? |
t3_20qq9q | relationships | Is it wrong of me [22 M] to not want to date any more girls who have never previously been in a relationship? | Before I say anything, all the girls I'm going to talk about aren't socially awkward, late bloomers, strange personalities or anything. All three of them were part of large social groups and were above average to very attractive, and the grand total of boyfriends between the three of them is three, all being me.
Each relationship may have well been a carbon copy of each other, so I'll sum them all up. Each girl was attractive, popular and fun to be around. I wouldn't be the one to bring it up, but each one would tell me that they would want to give dating a shot. Things always go good for a few weeks, we meet each others friends, but the relationship never progresses. I always just felt like another one of their friends. Inevitably I always end up getting burned by the girls after a few months and they end up losing interest. I've never been dumped by someone who had previously been in a successful relationship.
So I'm starting to think that having never have been in a relationship before is starting to become a big red flag for me. I hate not giving someone a chance who genuinely interests me, but I'm really getting tired of dealing with girls like this. | Girls who have never been in a relationship are starting to become a big red flag for me, am I wrong to no longer give girls like this a chance for a relationship? |
t3_semma | relationships | I'm worried about a situation with my SO regarding the summer, but he doesn't understand my concerns | My boyfriend and I [21] have a great relationship. We've been dating for 7 months, and it's absolutely amazing - the best relationship that I've ever been in. The only thing we don't always agree on is how much space we need - I'm perfectly content not having my own "personal time" because I LOVE being around people, but he needs a "recovery" day every week where he just completely shuts me (and everyone else) out. This works fine, for the time being, but I'm worried about the summer.
The two of us both got amazing internships on the other side of the country from our hometown...and we were lucky enough to be assigned to the same city. As a result, he suggested we live together. Financially, it makes a ton of sense, and we were both so excited at the idea. I still am, except that this means he won't be able to have the same level of alone time as he's used to.
Every time that I try to talk to him about it, he tells me that the summer will be different from being here at school, and that he'll be fine with the situation, but I'm not so sure. Today, for example, he texted me saying he wasn't going to be around today, ending with "I've seen you for the past 6 days, ya know?"
I have no problems with him needing space, I just really need peace of mind / advice for what to do to make this summer work out. It's only 3 months, but if he's already echoing concerns about six days, I feel like there's no way that this will end well. When I tried to suggest I find other roommates, he got really upset about it, so I'm torn. Thoughts / advice? I'm sorry for the length; it's really hard to convey everything in one reddit post. | My boyfriend and I are planning to spend the summer together, but I'm worried he won't get the personal time he needs. Thoughts / advice? |
t3_2f7z7v | relationships | Me [28/F] seeing [27/M] for about a month - no exclusivity talk, should I keep dating other guys? | I've been on about seven dates with this one guy over a period of 3 and a half weeks, so we've seen each other a good bit. I really like him and we get along / have great chemistry. We haven't slept together yet because we haven't had the 'exclusive' talk, just my personal preference.
It seems like he really likes me - i've met his friends, he's incredibly affectionate, cooks for me, we text every day, is open about his life with me... we hung out today and it was like he didn't want me to leave. But there's been no 'hey i really like you, you're great' or he hasn't asked if i'm dating other guys. He's more reserved when it comes to this sort of thing, also its only been a short time.
The thing is, i do like him but want to date other guys if he isn't interested in being exclusive. I've been asked out and want to proceed potentially (seeing as he hasn't asked to be exclusive) but want to see if its ok with him first. I don't know how to do this - really worried I'll screw things up and hurt his feelings if I even mention this. How can I do so without sounding like a jerk? Should I even mention it at this time? | Not exclusive with guy ive been seeing, is it ok to now ask if he's ok with me seeing other people? |
t3_2b7ms4 | loseit | Embarrassed and looking for Strength | Well to begin i'm a 24 M and weigh about 372. I've been big my whole life and have always struggled with my weight. I've yo-yo'ed for years but i've managed to never go above 377. Over the last week I've just felt disgust with myself and I'm really looking for some motivation from you all to pick up my gloves and start fighting again.
Thursday I went to a 311 concert in boston(awesome btw) and I looked around and all of the women were gorgeous. All of the men were fit. I didn't even want to be there because I felt everyone was judging me for my weight.
And then friday, one of my biggest fears happened to me. I went to a local restaurant to grab some food and sat down on a bench. Someone else sat down with me and it snapped in half sending us both to the ground. As I looked up, everyone had stopped eating and I couldn't believe it. I can't believe I let myself get to the point that I'm snapping benches...
Is there any of you out there that can lend me your strength? | Overweight guy sad because he sat on a bunch with someone and snapped it in half. Looking for strength from fellow warriors. |
t3_3tgmdn | tifu | TIFU by telling my girlfriend that there are better looking people then her and I. | So last night and into today I had been in a an argument with my girlfriend. In the past her and I had had some fights about other people and well, let me give you an example.
I was hanging with some friends in the basement, sitting next to my girlfriend, and we somehow got on the topic of my girlfriends best friend. My friend (we'll call him John) asked me if she was hot and I said ya she is(or something along those lines). Well anyways, fast forward 1 month and we got into another argument about people in general and what I've said.
Well I have a friend (we'll call her Jane) who calls everyone babe and my girlfriend has never liked that at all. Well my girlfriend wanted me to confront Jane and/or fix how she talks to me because she thinks it isn't right and then goes to tell me how would I feel if a guy was calling her babe. So the fight ensued and next thing I know it, we were talking about how I called her bestfriend "hot" and I went along the lines of " well someone is always gonna be better looking than you or I". That's where I knew I was fucked. She started yelling and I was trying to explain to her how I see her completely different from everyone because beauty in someone is made up of more than just looks. Well that didn't get drilled into her mind yet about how I felt.
Now she doesn't want to hear me ever call her beautiful again and I don't know what I'm gonna do to fix this one. | I told my girlfriend that there are others that look better than both of us and she's mad at me with past experiences and now I've fucked my relationship hard.. |
t3_2xg7ix | tifu | (NSFW)TIFU by fucking up a date | Okay. so I had a crush on this girl in my school once. But was to shy to say anything. But she made the move on me one day and asked me out on a date. We started talking a lot and found we both had a lot of similar interests. We saw each other every day and became really good friends. Next thing I know she invites me over. I wanted to be nice and bough some snacks since she wanted to watch a movie so the clever guy I was I bought a bag of peanuts and brought it in a plastic bag to make it make less noise while we watched the movie. Her parents weren't home. We started to watch the movie and proceeded to cuddle. We get really close to each other. I open my peanut bag a bit so I could have easy access to my snacks, later on(don't know what I was thinking should have opened it right away) and she was leaning in close on me preparing to kiss me. When suddenly. Bam.she starts to vomit all over my mouth and I get disgusted and vomit at her. I have no idea what's happening and with half choking breath she says she's allergic to peanuts. I panic and start to scream as she vomits some more. I call 911 and tell them to come over right away and she's crying. She tells me through a very tiny voice there are allergy medicine in her bag. Today I still don't know why she didn't tell me this earlier. We went to the hospital and her parents came and started yelling at me. After that I never saw her again and felt like a massive dick. | we vomited on each other like in the exorcist because she was a peanut allergic and I had a sensitive stomach. This is why I'm still single. |
t3_3gjrej | tifu | TIFU by making assumptions based on bizarre coincidences | Okay this happened about an hour ago, still waiting for a response.
About a month ago, I drunkenly made out with a guy at a bar and he walked me home to make sure I was safe. He left me at the gate to my complex.
A few weeks later, I wanted to go to a party and took a pedicab. The driver gave me his number so I could call him when I was ready to go (he was staying at the party too). Surprise! It was already in my phone, drunk make out guy's number (it was saved under his actual name because I'm half an adult).
We laughed about it, and then ended up hanging out till sunrise. Def made out again. I texted him the next day, but he never texted me back.
Fast forward to today. A guy on OkCupid has been sending me some pretty dirty texts all day. It was weird and probably gross, but hell, it was still kind of a turn on. He looked familiar, but I couldn't place him. We just texted over the OKC app, and that was it. He said to text him tomorrow if I wanted to talk more.
Then, about an hour ago, I get a random text from makeout guy asking if I'm alive. We text for a bit, and he asks if I want to hang out tomorrow. Sure, lunch maybe? Then it clicks. These are the same people. According to OKC profile, same age, same height, pics are similar, but most are lacking the beard which drunk me remembers most.
So I ask, in the most awkward text ever, if he has OKC and has been messaging me today. None of the messages indicated that we knew each other. After some pretty consistent previous texting, radio silence ensues. Nothing. No answer, no awkward "no...what?" Nothing.
So then I get bolder and ask OKC guy if we know each other. He's been super good about responding immediately as well.
Nothing. I feel like the most awkward detective and now I don't have a date OR sexy texts tomorrow. Goddamnit. I know they're the same person though. | I was messaging a guy on OkCupid who I suspected of being a previous drunk make-out partner who also texted me out of the blue today. Asked both (possibly?). Radio silence. |
t3_4n2gac | relationships | I [19 M] saw a girl's [19-20 F] picture on Facebook after a close friend [20 F] liked it. How weird would it be to ask the friend to introduce us? | Okay I have never done anything like this before but I swear I haven't seen a girl this cute in a very long time and I just keep thinking about that picture for some reason. I am tempted to ask my friend about this girl but I'm worried it would be weird since she might not even know her all that well and it would seem creepy as fuck to ask about a girl I've never even seen in person. Should I just give up on this one? If it makes any difference I'm pretty close friends with the girl who liked the picture and she has tried setting me up on dates with her friends before. | Saw a girl's pic on Facebook, want to know on a scale of completely normal to psycho murderer how weird it would be to ask a female friend about introducing us? |
t3_38fr7u | dating_advice | Should I Try To Get Her Number | Let me start of with some background information. I had just recently graduated from high school and just finished with our high school prom. At prom I had seen one girl(lets call her Amanda) that was in one of my junior classes. The only way we had talk was through a group of people we had talk to everyday in that class and I didn't think Amanda would keep in contact after that class. Here I am staring my senior year and we would say hi to each other when passing in between classes and if Amanda had seen me and I didn't see her she would sometimes poke me to get my attention.
Prom had been coming up soon so instead of asking her I had ask one of my friends to go with me so we didn't have to fly solo. We both agreed it was just as friends and nothing else would happen. After that happened Amanda told me congrats and we never really talked until the end of the year. It had been our last day for seniors and our school had some type of celebration going on and while at that I had seen Amanda again. The first thing she asked me was if me and my friend I was talking to prom are dating now. I told her no we were still friends and have no intentions of going anything past that. Then she told me that we would have looked cute together and that it stinks that we weren't dating.
Now I sit at home because I am out of school and was wondering if she wanted me to ask her to Prom and maybe date her. I have only two more chances to really see her and was wondering if I should try and get her number. | Girl and I talk for a little, would say hi to each other and poke me if I didn't see her, wondering if I should get her number before it is to late. |
t3_40jdu4 | relationships | [Update] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F]. Recently got back together after being broken up for eight months because she left me for someone else. Feeling a bit paranoid. | People were really helpful, so I thought I'd give you guys an update as we've been discussing the situation and reached an agreement.
The original topic is here:
A lot of people have been discussing whether or not I should stay in this relationship at all. As I've explained in the comments of the original post, I have a very clear impression that she learned a lesson or two and she knows what's at stake if she fucks it up again.
Anyway, I sat down and talked to her. I told her of my insecurities about her going and my feelings towards her seeing this guy again. I also said I wouldn't force her to stay at home, but I would be having a really hard time if she went. She asked what she could do to make me feel better about the situation, and I told her that I didn't know.
I understand the trip is important to her and that it'd be rough if she didn't get to go. But then she offered me a compromise of sorts. During the trip, they are gonna need three people from outside the organization to help in the bar at the final party, cooking for the meals and helping out in general. I'd even be paid for it. One of them have fallen sick and she said that I could come and help out if I'd be more comfortable being there myself. She had already discussed it with some of the others.
I declined, as I'd feel like I was watching her but I told her I appreciated her doing so much to make me feel at ease. We reached the agreement that I will drive her to the place where they will be staying for the week. I will then visit a friend who lives close by that place (within three kilometers) and spend the week with him. Me and my friend will then join the party at the end of the week, as it is open to friends. On the final day, I will pick her up and we'll drive home together.
I know this doesn't prevent her from doing it again, but it makes me feel a lot more at ease. | We agreed that I can join the event as much as I can without feeling like I'm watching her. This was her suggestion and makes me feel at ease. |
t3_35k2i6 | tifu | TIFU by doing the Spinaroonie | Or, TIFU by fucking up the spinaroonie.
After a long day of celebrating my awesome mother, Redditing, and watching old wrestling pay per views (on the award winning WWE network, available for the low price of $9.99) i decided to settle in for a nice slumber. I changed into my sleepwear (just a pair of booty shorts, it's hot don't judge me) and brushed my teeth/washed my face/all the rest of that jazz that will get me glowing like a fucking angel when I wake up. I walk into my bedroom, look at my bed and think "hmm. That could be a wrestling ring." Suddenly, I'm hit with a burst of inspiration. *I could try the spinaroonie on that thing!*
What is the spinaroonie? Well my dear reader, [the spinaroonie] is the patented signature move of Booker T, whom you would remember spinaroonie'd his way into our hearts in late 90's WCW/early 2000's WWF/E. After seeing him do it, I thought "lemme try dis! I can do it!"
So I get ready and set. My arm in front of my face, I switch my legs and shift my weight to my shoulders, putting my legs up in the air. Here is where I realize I've made a bad decision: I start rotating on my shoulder, and I don't do a full rotation. *dammit*, I thought. Determined to do it, I try again, and this time put some *oomph* into my hipsto really give myself some momentum, and rotate on my shoulder. In fact, I rotate so much that I end up gliding off the edge of my bed.
I break my fall.
With my wrist.
And my entire skinny frame collapses onto my skinny wrist.
Now here I am, back on Reddit with a bag of frozen broccoli on my wrist. | I should have listened to those "Do NOT try this at home" warnings that are shown at the beginning of WWE programs |
t3_2vcnhx | relationships | The girl I like (21F) (22M) said something, now im considering moving on. | About June last year I met this girl online and thought she was amazing. I thought she was also interested in me too, we skyped all the time and occasionally played civ 5 together.
These games can go for hours and it was a lot of fun talking all night and playing games. She studys law and had a big study load so we never got a chance to meet in person till December when I asked her out to a musical theater show.
She lived about 90 minutes away from the show and I lived close. She said it would be easier if she stayed at my place but didnt want to rush things first time meeting in person. I wanted something serious with this girl so I agreed and said I will set up the spare room for her.
Anyway the show finishes we go back to my place its late and she jumps into bed with me. After watching tv for a bit we start making out in my bed and we ended up staying up all night having a great time and then I dropped her at the station before I left for work (on 30 minutes sleep).
Fast forward to other day and we are talking on skype she mentions she wants to find love like her friend. I say what about us, she replys "you're great but I want a guy who can wait. You made a move the first time I stayed over."
This has left me thinking WTF you got in my bed after I shown you the spare room and she was way into it all night.
Should I take this as a red flag and move on? I'm not sure because this girl is amazing but I'm not going to chase her if she wants to play games. | girl comes over jumps in my bed, month later says she wants a relationship with a guy who is more patient with sex. |
t3_2ud9dk | tifu | TIFU by pissing my housemates off in the shower | Today I fucked up by writing poetry. Literally today. I've had a problem with these girls I live with leaving their hair in the shower drain. I'm on a sports team at my university and wash my hair at the gym after workouts (private locker room), never when I (rarely) shower at home. I made plans with a friend from a nearby university to watch some movies and crash at my place this evening (after running it by the other girls). As I began to clean up the apartment, I noticed the massive amount of hair in the shower preventing it from properly draining.
Anyone who lives with women knows how frequent and disgusting this problem can be. I've seen situations get pretty ugly when housemates discuss this issue and I tried speaking to the girls directly last semester on the issue to no avail. This semester I used my wit to devise a less direct (people freak out when they think you're blaming them for things) solution. I thought this was a clever and witty way to approach the problem...but I was wrong.
So far, one of my housemates has confronted and accused another of writing and posting the poem in our shower. Said housemate then confronted me (of course I claimed my work). I texted the originally angry housemate and have received no reply after claiming my work. I predict passive aggressive...maybe just aggressive psychological war ahead.....
This is the note I left taped to the shower wall:
If while you shower hair is lost
Into the trash you should toss
We all know it's great to share
Except when it comes to hair
Lots of hair will clog a drain
That would be such a pain
Let's keep our bathroom somewhat clean
It doesn't have to be pristine.
-MGMT | I wrote a note to tell my housemates to keep hair out of the shower drain. may have sparked a passive aggressive house war. |
t3_14fm9q | relationships | I [M 27] want to break up with my gf [24] because I don't think a long distance relationship will work when she goes off to med school. She's making it incredibly difficult. I've never dumped a girl and I feel like shit for even thinking about it. How do I do this? | **HERE'S THE STORY** We've been dating for about 7 months. We found out she was going to Ohio for med school (OH-HCOM, great DO school) a few months ago. Ever since then, I've pulled away significantly, and I've told her why. She doesn't seem to understand it.
The relationship I was in before was also long-distance and it ended *badly*. The reasons as to why are numerous, not least of all the long-distance part, but I have just as many misgivings about this girl as I did in my last relationships, if not more (which have grown as we've gone deeper into this relationship).
Truth be told she isn't a terrible match for me and I genuinely like her most of the time. But I'm convinced that long-distance will put an insurmountable strain on our relationship, and I probably won't be convinced otherwise. So I want to end it. The problem (and maybe this isn't a problem, hmm??) is that she keeps making me stay, and promise her to try and see it some other way. I oblige her because I don't hate her, I don't want to hurt her, and I still kinda/sorta like her. But I don't believe in the longevity of the relationship, and I think it's more prudent to end it sooner rather than inevitably face said ending later when both of us may be in a more fragile emotional state. | In a decent, stable relationship, but want to break up because I don't believe in its longevity. So I guess I'm asking for breakup advice. Any tips? |
t3_47n87c | relationships | Me [17F] and my Grandpas [70s M] family? | Hi, normally I'm fairly private about my problems, and I feel silly, but I need help.
Basically, my grandpa has been n/c with his family for YEARS. Like, since his 20s. He refuses to discuss them, and I know very little about them. I have felt that I need to reach out for years, even if only for medical info. Frankly though, I could really use some family, and I feel like that connection could help. It hurts to know you have family, likely within mere kilometres of you, that you will never know.
My main issue is, even if I somehow convince him to give me info I can use (names, ages, general locations, etc), would they even care? Should I reach out, or should I just call it a lost cause? I mean, as much as I want a family connection, just calling someone up and going "hey, my grandpa is related to you!" Seems sort of awkward and stupid... But I just don't know what to do... | Grandpa has been N/C with his family for years. Should I reach out, or accept that I will never know them? Thanks. |
t3_2ulcon | relationships | I [18M] am having jealousy problems with her [16F] | Yeah, I know we are young. Also, we have only been officially dating for a month and a half. She is my first girlfriend, so that in itself may be part of the problem. Anyway, she is a really sweet girl. She is the opposite of what you would call a slut. That is why I am dating her. However, she has a lot of guy friends. There are many things she does with them that stresses me out. One of them occasionally spends the night at her house. This is usually with another girl, but I don't think it always has been. She says she sees him like a brother because they have been really close and he is also really close to her male cousin. Another guy went with her to her house alone after school to study. She talks with him a lot, and she got angry when I questioned her about him, saying that it hurts that I don't trust her. Finally is is guy that she is constantly snapchatting now. He is even older than me, graduated, and i do not think they were really talking until he posted his snapchat user name on instagram several days ago. She immediately added him, and was snapchatting him. She was snapchatting him while we were together today. The thing that threw me off was that when she snapchatted him back, she would always take the picture of her with her other female friend, or just of herself...never me, almost making a point to do so. I am over the first two guys, but this snapchatting is worrying me. She snapchats him as much as she does me (throughout the whole day) She just posted a mcm of me when I was little, so he can see that she is taken I guess, not that that will stop anything. I really want to talk to her about it, but do not want to push her away. I care about her a lot. How can I deal with my anxiety about this? | Girlfriend has a lot of guy friends. One guy now she snapchats as much as she does me. How to get over the insecurity? Or is she in the wrong? |
t3_1cguzl | relationships | Girl I asked out turns out to be moving in with my Ex's best friend. | I will be trying to keep this concise, let me know if you need more details:
I recently met a girl at the park and we hit it off well. We're both in our mid-twenties, and we both rock climb. I asked her for her number, we've been text back and fourth and last weekend we went climbing together at a local gym. We still hit it off but through conversation I found out she will be moving in with my Ex's best friend, John. That particular ex was a really rough relationship with me, that (so I heard) ruined her friendship with John.
Whether or not my ex and John are on good terms, I still feel uncomfortable around John and that group of friends. I have changed a lot since that relationship - it ended a year ago - but there is still a history there. I don't want to start something with a girl that is roommates with someone who reminds me of that time and was from that toxic friend group.
I don't know what to tell this girl. We have our first date planned for this week, so technically we aren't dating, but I need to say something. We climb at the same gym so I WILL see her again. Anything I share with her will definitely get passed on to John and undoubtedly my ex (which makes me feel incredibly anxious). If I end thing's awkwardly then the same will happen as the above only I will feel incredibly MORE anxious.
Anything you write helps, I just need to figure out something to text her today. Maybe I still plan our date and then talk about it? Even then I'm not too sure. I feel like I'm in a position where I'm telling her I don't want to date after asking her out. Like a break up before it starts :\ | A girl I just asked out turns out to be moving in with my Ex's best friend and that makes me uncomfortable. How do I save face while ending things smoothly with her? |
t3_32sx7h | relationships | My SO of 9 years [28f] has fallen out of love with me [28m] and doesn't want to have sex because she sees me more as a friend. I could raelly use some advice | First of all, sorry for my English (it's not my native language)
So, here's the story. Me and my girl are together for 9 years. At first we were in a distance relationship (for about 3 years). Then we moved in together and everything was fine. However, due to economic problems (long-term unemployment and poverty) we had to move in with her parents. Now, her parents are super cool and reasonable and did their best for me to feel like home.
Now therein lies the problem. Living with her parents made me too embarrassed to want to have sex with her while her parents are at home which (since they both are retired) was all the time. They never left home hence we couldn't be intimate.
My SO wanted to have sex with me but I just couldn't operate with her parents moving around the house. Also we could not afford to go to a hotel or something, so sex and intimacy became rare.
Finally, a couple of months ago we did find some time and privacy and had sex. But because we had a really long time to have sex she told me that it felt that she was having sex with a friend. The absence of intimacy and sexy time lead her to fall out of love with me and now she is not sexually attracted to me anymore. She doesn't want to break up with me because she still loves me and can't live with out me (sic) and neither do I. I just want to win her back. I want to make her to fall in love with me all over again and I want to make her to be sexually attracted to me again. I could really use some advice. | Me and gf moved in with in-laws (cause no monies). That led to no sex (couldn't operate with in-laws in the house). Now she doesn't want me sexually anymore. |
t3_4iu7oe | relationships | Me [21F] and my ex[21M ] Broke up 3 months ago. I'm still not over him. Please help!! | we were together for 2 years and he broke up with me 3 months ago because he wasn't happy in the relationship anymore. I just saw photos of him and another of his exes together at a party. He told me he hated her and it sucks to see them Together all happy. I am literally going insane because I can't get over him. I know I shouldn't be jealous still but I am! What can I do to help get over him? I need any advice please because I am struggling to even get him off my mind at all. | saw ex in photos with another girl/ how the hell do I stop caring, get over him and not be jealous? |
t3_1v3odl | relationships | I [18F] have developed a habit of snooping on my boyfriend's [19M] Facebook in order to know more about his life he doesn't share with me. | We have been together for a little over a year. As with any relationship there are ups and downs however one thing I am concerned over is not knowing a lot about him. I don't mind listening to him describe his thoughts or his plans but this rarely happens without me urging him on. He just says that nothing is interesting enough to be shared and that's that.
However, in return, he knows every facet of my life. I'm very open about my thoughts and tell him everything. I'm okay with this, I love sharing my life with him. I simply want to know more about him.
With regards to social media, we know each other's passwords. In the past he has gone on my account and read my conversations out of interest. However, when he realised reading it made him jealous at times, due to my closeness with a few male friends, we agreed for him to no longer know my password.
Once, a month or so ago, I believe I was unhappy with him for some reason and logged into his Facebook account. It has been a downward spiral ever since. Every few days now I will read his conversations. They are so interesting to me, and I love knowing more about him.
However, yesterday, he told me I was the best girlfriend he could ever wish for, and that he could trust me with anything and this has made me concerned about my recent behaviour.
Is this a serious breach of his privacy? If so, how do I stop? | boyfriend isn't keen on communicating details of his life, and I satisfy my curiosity through going through his Facebook messages. Is this wrong? Help! |
t3_3id253 | legaladvice | Preventable Injury at work - UK | Working in a hygiene/cleaning supplier warehouse at the moment.
I've had no training regarding the chemicals that we use, but have had training in reporting to first aiders etc.
We've got a big job coming up, so we're tidying everything, putting it in location etc so when it comes, we got that shit down.
Trouble being, while I was tidying I lifted a 10lt case of chemicals, not knowing that this was extremely harmful in any contact, be it skin, eyes, digesting etc. Long story short, the case split. It poured over my arm and hand, luckily I work with a family member and they made me follow a very strict procedure, not wanting me to get hurt.
It turns out the main ingredient was Sodium Hydroxide which can corrode skin. My arm has very minimal chemical burns, a few burnt out pores, loss of hair, little redness. When I went to A + E (work sent me, gave me a lift etc, though no one stayed with me) it turns out had it been longer i'd have quite sever chemical burns to around 15%-20% of my arm.
I sucked it up, went in the next day, nothing has been cleaned up from the spill. The diluted chemical has now dried, leaving a residue of what we believe to be pure sodium hydroxide. I stopped anyone from sweeping this - it can cause serious damage if inhaled.
After this, I started cleaning up again, when I saw massively corroded racking beams. Give em a feel and you can peel the metal off - honestly I don't feel safe. I've reported it and apparantly "just deal with it for now".
Have I got any stand against the company legality wise? My minor chemical burns will probably be permanent, but above all, they are risking the lives of their employees by having such poor racking. I mean this is corroded to fuck, one structural bar has corroded to the point one end has fallen to the floor.
Thanks for any replies. | Health and Safety is mad, putting the lives of employees at risk is just fucking stupid. where do I stand? |
t3_1hs4lg | AskReddit | Ass gaskets, purse hangers, lysol- these are necessities to a woman's bathroom WHY are they not in there. NSFW | Why don't all bathrooms have ass gaskets and pocket book holders? I demand to know!!!!! And when I go to the last stall I'm disappointed to find neither in none of the stalls if searched, so I curse loudly about dancing while I Lysol the shit out of the seat, and wipe it down (if there's lysol) If theres no Lysol I curse even more about touching someone elses ass germs and laying toilet paper to create a barrier for my ass while damn near making bombs in my britches,Then drop my pants and unload while hanging my pocked book around my neck like a fucking necklace cause I've just touched the seat with my hands. Double ugh | I had a moment on the throne and was mad about having to poop with no gasket, no lysol, or purse holder in a oublic facility! Someone had to hear about it |
t3_4gx8ky | relationships | Me [28F] with my friend [28M] Should I try to salvage a friendship gone awry? | To be succinct, My friend (M) and I (F) have known each other for about 10 years. About 5 years into the friendship we started having some sexual tension and decided that crossing that line would be too risky. Fast forward to about 2 years ago and we hooked up a couple of times and nothing really changed. We were still cool like before no awkwardness or feels. A few months ago we hooked up again and a few later after that I went out got a little tipsy and drunk texted him to say I couldn't be friends with him anymore because TBH I was feeling vulnerable and thought that I would end up falling hard (I didn't verbalize all this just said I didn't think I could be friends). I texted him a couple days later to check in as I always do and got nothing. Tried calling and same, he didn't return my call. Figured it was 'life' and it get hectic but tried calling and texting him couple more in the weeks that followed still no response. It hurts to lose someone you built an honest, open friendship with. Should I keep trying to make amends? I made a stupid statement and now I'm friendless. | Had sex with friend, drunkenly told him I didn't want to be friends and didn't really mean it, should I keep trying to make amends? |
t3_4tjvzs | relationships | How to help myself [20F] and my parents [57M, 49F] through the loss of our dog? | Saturday my 13 year old sweetheart puppy had to be put down. It still hasn't hit me. I feel like there's a hole in my life right now but it doesn't feel real.
My mom is devastated. She can't focus at work and she's not eating or sleeping, just crying all day and night. I think she's having the hardest time. I don't understand why it's not harder for me.
When she died she looked more alive than she did when she was sick. Her eyes were opened up... Something we hadn't been prepared for. She was still so soft and warm when we had to hand her over. It doesn't feel like it really happened....
I've never lost a pet before and I don't know what to do. This is the first pet my parents have had too. We have another dog but this dog had a special place in our hearts. I don't know how to deal with this loss. | my family is having a hard time dealing with the loss of our dog because we've never experienced this before. How can we grieve in a healthy way? |
t3_3c89by | relationships | Me [30 M] broke up with my live-in GF [32 F] of 6 yrs - will it always be this awkward? | After nearly 7 years together, going through a fair share of ups and downs, I finally ended things with my now ex. It's only been a week since it ended and because we live together, she still needs to find a place to move out to.
I had quietly wrestled with the decision for months before it finally came to a head. The relationship was comfortable and familiar, but there was no growth and I didn't think I could offer the life she wanted without giving up a piece of myself as well.
The interaction is mercilessly awkward because she is angry, hurt, and basically wants nothing to do with me - and understandably so. She will talk to me as needed and everything is in a hushed, eerily calm tone. Knowing her, she's seething inside but fighting to keep it contained. She immediately removed me from all of her social media (minutes after we ended things) and she's working hard to get away from me as quickly as humanly possible. My big question is - will it always be this awkward between us? | Ended a long-term relationship with live-in gf... will things always be so tense and awkward with her in person? |
t3_2cuiul | relationship_advice | I don't know what to do (M18) | So I went to Europe for a school trip (even though I'm graduated) about 3 weeks ago, and, long story short, ended up talking and hanging out with a girl from another school's group. We became friends (though at one drunken party, we made out) and we talked about going to the Sara Bareilles tour here in Washington. Another girl, her best friend, was supposed to go, but ended up canceling. Anyway, I drive up a little over an hour to pick her up, and we drive 35 minutes to the concert. During the concert, she puts her arms around me, so I do the same, we also dance a bit, and general cuddly-ness. Concert ends at around 10:30, and on the 30 minute drive to her house, we talk about what the status of our relationship is. She says good friends? I talk about how the concert kinda felt like it was a date... Awkward silence for a while... Then she says, because we live so far apart, we're going to different colleges (they will be closer together than her house and mine now), if we did pursue each other, it will likely fall apart. But if we were to see each other more often, and be nearer, we might have a chance. When I drop her off, we hug and she says she'll try to drive down to my home sometime. Then i drive an hour and get home at 12:30am
The point is, I'm kinda confused. I like this girl a lot, and we spent some time together throughout Europe, and after, but I don't feel like I would drive 120 miles for a girl who is just a friend. | Met this cool girl on a school trip, we get close, go to a concert together, and she says were just close friends |
t3_3jqgs4 | tifu | TIFU by becoming a porn actor | ( Using a throwaway for this one )
So in the classic tifu tradition it didn't happen today but last week.
This summer was in holidays in Europe for 4 months ; In 3 months I've been to Barcelona,Budapest,Prague,Amsterdam.. I have been in all the party cities.. So I basically didn't have any money left. That is when I decided to work in a hostel. So I got hired in Copenhagen as a receptionist / cleaner. The fuck up is coming up, no worries.
So basically during one of my night shifts,a really drunk girl came back from partying and started to hit on me, of course as the lamda person I started buisness with her behind the reception ( low key, nobody would never see us, it was a pretty calm night) . Thing I didn't know was there was security cameras in all the hostel, and of course behind the reception. The fuck up got popular really fast causing me the "pornstar" nickname by all my coworkers of course.
But this was ok !
Next week the exact same situation happened, except that I didn't want to get caught, so I decided to let the reception for 30 minutes and bang the girl in the attic of the hostel.
Nothing happened for a week but at some point my manager came to me to fire me ; the reason ? Our hostel received a "poor" rating on "hostelworld" for the staff. My manager emailed the person who rated the hostel poor to ask why. His answer ? " We had to throw rocks at the window to get the door of the hostel open at 5am because no one was at the reception, it was raining and we had to wait again to check in when we just wanted to sleep".
You obviously understand who did this mistake.. | Worked in a hostel, fucked a girl in the reception, got caught on security cameras, fucked an other girl in the attic the next week, got fired because I left the reception for too long. |
t3_1vw8uz | relationships | Me [29/F] broke up with boyfriend [30/M] 4 years ago after 8 years together. Now I find out he's expecting a baby and I'm crushed. | I was with my first true love for nearly 8 years from age 18-26, 6 of those years, we lived together but the last 2 years we lived apart and the long distance broke us along with other reasons. I was crushed as I thought he was the one. This is 4 years ago.
I tried to move on, took me 2 years of dating. Now, I'm with a guy now for almost 1 year LDR [25/M]. Emotional issues/attachment and I cannot discuss my past at all with him without getting him upset.
I just found out that my ex [30/M] is now expecting a baby.
I'm utterly crushed right now and experiencing one of the worst panic attacks to memory. I don't know what to do and I really don't have friends or support to turn to and I can't turn to my current boyf now for support that I really need.
I'm truly at a loss of what to do or say or anything right now and I feel so stupid to be impacted this much. | Broke up with ex-boyf after 8 years together, truly thought he was the one 4 years ago. Now I find out he's expecting a baby and I'm having a panic attack, the fuck? |
t3_1t5pd3 | relationships | ways I can show him I love him? | 26F (me) about 28M (boyfriend)
hi there,
so i've been dating a handsome, caring fellow for 6 months (as of yesterday).
the thing is, he doesn't like gifts (grad student on a budget) and I need helping thinking of thoughtful things to show/do/tell him that would demonstrate how much I care and love him.
we haven't said "i love you" but we often say "I'm so lucky to be with you" or "I like you a lot" sort of thing.
i'm traveling for 2 weeks over the holidays and this Friday will be the last night before my trip.
I'm worried that saying i<3you will bring up a serous discussion (...or unreciprocated feelings) that will overshadow my trip (i tend to ruminate when alone).
**some important details**
* we didn't celebrate being together 6 months, and i actually didn't bring it up because 1 month into dating, we went on a break (that lasted 2 weeks - his decision).
* ever since then, I've been insecure about the state of things between us, although he's never done anything to cast doubt.
* i have intimacy issues (longest previous relationship was 3 months - shy 26F, decently pretty but waited until 24 to have sex)
* being vulnerable in love is also a struggle for me because when i was a teenager, my sister told me i was "unloveable' and it has stuck in my mind ever since.
* as a lifelong introvert, i don't always know what to say when we're together (when it comes to serious stuff) and I'm worried I can't match his excellent communication skills (he always has the right words).
what do you all suggest doing?
I was thinking about getting him some flowers and making him a homemade card... but I need help with knowing how to say/do other things that demonstrate just how much I care. | A girl who has intimacy issues wants to show her boyfriend that she cares deeply about him before leaving on a trip, but she's scared how to proceed with gestures/words/actions |
t3_3bw50q | relationships | I [22F] feel really upset when my SO [21M] isn't up to doing what I imagined we should do. My emotions then ruin the day for both of us. | We've been together for 3 years and this has become a noticeable problem only recently.
During the day, I'm at work while he's in school. While we're apart, I sometimes tend to imagine things we could do afterwards, so we don't have to sit home. Whenever I think about our options, I never take in account that he might be tired or have different things to do. That always leads to me getting very upset if he says we can't do whatever it is I wanted. Actually 'upset' isn't the right word. I feel almost physical pain in my heart, like tightness and like I could start crying if just one more little thing goes wrong. Then I become more distant and it drives my SO mad, and then I get frustrated, because I feel I can't control my reaction and don't know why is that always happening, and how am I supposed to explain myself to him, and why can't he understand and yadda yadda yadda... Just bunch of confusing thoughts at the same time and the rest of the day is ruined.
My question is what in the world is my problem? Why would I take my 'plans' so seriously and why can't I accept the reality of whatever happens in a normal way? | I've lately been getting very emotional when my plans get rejected by my SO. Don't know why; am here to find out. |
t3_26tse9 | relationships | I'm [18 M] having issues with my girlfriend [16 F] concerning the future. | Okay so me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months now and I just graduated high school this year. She still has two years to go but after that we have no idea what we are going to do. She wants to leave the state we are in because she hates it here, (Florida) and would want to go to a different state for college, if she can. I personally don't really care where I go for college because I'm staying in florida for the two years to get my AA anyway and transfer to a four year college.
Everything has been fine, we don't usually fight very often and we communicate whenever we do have a problem with each other. Yesterday though, I was talking to her and she had told me that she doesn't expect anything from the relationship we have, and that shes not sure if she should have faith in it lasting. Hearing that honestly just made my heart hurt. She says she loves me and she wants me to stay in her life and will try in this relationship and she just wants to enjoy me while she still can, but she doesn't know if she should have faith.
When I asked her why she said something like "only 10% of high school relationships turn into marriage and sometimes the marriages don't last."
I'm honestly very attached to her as is right now so I honestly don't know how to handle that. She was very apologetic (she noticed it obviously made me pretty sad) and everything ad we made up but it still just bugs me. I don't know what to do. If she has no faith in us lasting, what's the point in even going on then? This is also my first relationship so yeah. | Girlfriend of 8 months says she loves me and wants me to be with her and she wants to enjoy me while she still has me but doesn't know whether or not she should have faith in the relationship. |
t3_26hkjv | Parenting | Please help me come up with an appropriate consequence. | I have two children 8 and 6.
We rent an old house, at least 100 years old. Tonight I discovered that the children have been etching into the banister at the bottom of the staircase. This is not just one little scratch. It is very noticeable, goes deep into the wood, and is on the front and side of the bottom support.
It's a big problem. Our landlord is going to shit. There is no way to stain/ treat the wood the way it is now. We can sand and restain it but it is damaged in a way that it will never be the same again.
Obviously the kids need to understand that they cannot be destroying property whether it belongs to them or someone else. My daughter, when I yelled (cause I freaked a bit), started crying and said she was stupid. She is convinced now she is a bad person.
My husband and I have said that we need some time to think about their consequences. We explained to her (8) that she is not stupid, nor is she a bad person but she made a very bad choice and needs to learn from it.
I am so angry. I don't want to over punish but I also feel like they need a lesson they will remember because this is not a small thing. At the same time, does it matter that they have no idea what a huge deal what they did was? | 8 and 6 year old carved into 100 year old banister in RENTED house. What are reasonable consequences for this? |
t3_ru68l | AskReddit | Was involved in a hit and run today: I hit, they ran. What do I do? | Well, I guess we both ran because I didn't call the cops.
Here is some more information.
Heading into work this morning I rear ended a truck in my car. We were both stopped on an exit ramp waiting to merge right onto the semi busy street that the ramp let out on. (It wasn't a stop light or a stop sign it is a yield.) Because of the way the intersection is made, you have to crane your next to look left in order to safely merge onto that street. I was second in line waiting to merge and traffic thinned out and I saw him start pulling forward to merge. Instinctively at the point he started pulling forward, alotted with an amount of space anyone should have felt comfortable with merging into, I craned my neck left making sure it was safe for me to merge as well. While I was looking to the left I let my foot off the brake to start edging forward thinking I was about to be able to merge. I was shocked when I heard the crunch of my car hitting the back of his as he was at a dead stop for some reason. My heart sank. Then to my surprise he just drove off. Didn't get out of the car, didn't look back at me, just merged into traffic and I followed him.
Ee got down to a traffic light, he turned one way, and I turned the other. I'm not sure what to do right now. I didn't look at his license plate number since I was so shaken, I'm not sure if he even knew I hit him or what.
I inspected the damage to my car when I got to work, a few scuffs on the bumper and a REALLY minor dent in the very front of the hood. It looks like my front end went under his back end since my car was smaller than his truck. It was a minor fender bender, but I don't want a minor fender bender to comeback and bite me on the ass. | I rear ended a truck in a fender bender; he drove off immediately after without getting out of his car or even acknowledging that I hit him. Cops and insurance have not been informed. What do? |
t3_xggpk | relationships | Need some hardcore relationship advice [M19][F16] | Hi all, i will dive straight into this and begin with: i cheated on my grilfriend a few months a go. I hated my self for what i did and regret every second of it. i came clean to my girlfriend and answered her questions truthfully and honestly.
i told her how mcuh she means to me and that i made the biggest mistake of my life. I told her i love her so much and i will do all that i can to make it upto that girl.
She has given me a second chance and says that she is glad to have me back. She says im not full forgiven and that it will take time (obviously itll take longer than a day)
The advice i need is: how do i show this girl i really mean what i say? how do i show her i love her so mcuh and how do i show her she can trust me? I started by cancelling going to a music festival this summer so i could spend time with her>? but what else can i do to prove to her that i can be the nicest guy and be the best to her and make her happy again?
The other issue is proving to her parents that i am going to make their daughter happy. they have her best interests at heart and I imagine they despise me so much right now. I need to show them that i care for their daughter and what ive done will never happen again. How do i do this? do i write them a letter? talk to them? or just sit tight and gradually prove myself?
thanks reddit | cheated on my girlfriend, have a second chance. want to show her and her family i love her and can be trusted again! how? |
t3_ndqfa | AskReddit | Reddit, What's the best advice you've disregarded? | Dear Reddit, after weeks of observing as a fascinated procrastinator I thought I'd finally join you to more effectively waste my time. For some reason I feel a lot less witty now that I have to actually type out my hilariousness. I have zingers dammit, they're just shy.
In essence, I've found a lot of these threads tend to lead to the same generic messages of advice - work hard, get to know the parental units, go to the gym, whilst skyrim is good knee arrow jokes are not etc.
I want to hear about when you've been given the conventional wisdom by everyone, went "fuck this shit, my instincts are right" and triumphed (or failed spectacularly and fell flat on your face thinking if you're feeling particularly melancholy.) | Hi. Pointless intro. Reddit virgin, be gentle - who am I kidding, that's boring. When have you disregarded advice, acquired success? Go. |
t3_471dta | weddingplanning | Reception Etiquette - Please Help! | Hey /r/weddingplanning! I was directed here from a different sub.
In November, my wonderful boyfriend proposed to me and I said yes. We are both in our last years of college and he was planning on applying to PhD programs across the United States in hopes of getting his Doctorate in Computer Science. Throughout our entire relationship, we have discussed having a very small wedding, but now that we're actually planning we have both decided we would rather elope in the mountains in Colorado. While our parents weren't too happy about this, we came up with a compromise that they could throw us a shower/reception as a way to be involved. My fiancé and I both viewed this as a good thing because it will kind of also act as a going away party for us, as we'll be moving soon after to a new state to let him get started on his PhD. My problem is this: I feel kind of weird registering for gifts while not inviting anyone to the actual "wedding". We would obviously love to receive a lot of household items/gift cards/money. That would help us out A TON seeing as we'll be fresh college graduates in a new state, trying to make it on our own for the first time. However, I'm wondering if this is rude. Is this proper etiquette? How do people usually go about things like this when they chose to elope? | Is it okay to register for gifts for a wedding reception when the bride and groom eloped instead of having a traditional wedding? |
t3_4l3v0l | legaladvice | (CA) 2 traffic violations in 2 months | Hopefully this is the right sub for advice.
So basically, I got a stop sign ticket in March. It was raining, I california rolled it, making sure no traffic around but the cop was a couple stop signs down. Got the citation in the mail a few weeks ago and extended it to June. Will likely do a second extension.
But then a few weeks ago I was driving on the 5 (coming from northern to southern california), it was a 6 hour drive and towards the end of my time on the 5 (after 200+ miles on it, nearing the Tejon pass I think), got pulled over for doing 95. The road was pretty empty since it was past midnight. He was the first cop I saw the whole time on the 5, well he was hiding on the side of the road but anyhow.
I'm just wondering, is there anyway I can avoid them showing on my record, or even avoid at least one?
My first and only ticket was over 4 years ago, so my record is clean but then I go and get two in no time, so I'm worried. I'm 23 also, so I know my insurance will be affected drastically.
So basically, what can I do if I got two traffic violations to deal with?
Neither were near my current location. The stop sign one was where I used to live, 6 hours away, and the speeding one was on my way down there, in the middle of nowhere.
The speeding one just says to pay by June 10, though I just got the letter today 5/25, which seems really short noticed. It doesn't have a date to appear or anything, but says I could request one(?). | 2 traffic tickets. How to avoid them showing on insurance or reduce them or get out of them...or at least one! |
t3_2y2j9i | askwomenadvice | Have I hurt her too much? | The short answer is yes, but I need to hear some opinions from some who may have been in her[24f] shoes, or mine[27m].
I was with my ex for a little over a year, with her and I not being exclusive for about six months before that.
A little over a month ago. I made what I now know to be a terrible decision. I left her. I had many reasons why I did it at the time, but something still felt wrong. I stubborned up, and did it anyway. The hardest part was that I realized that she had no idea how much certain things were bothering me.
In the past month, I've come to the know that I want her back. I've reestablished communication with her, and she knows my feelings on this issue. Surprisingly she has been willing to spend quite a bit of time with me, and we have talked a lot about the issues our relationship was having. She spent all last weekend with me, and is actually traveling out of state with me this weekend. On top of this we have spent the night at each other's apartment's twice this week.
This brings me to my issue. While she has been affectionate, and seems happy to spend time with me and talk with me, she has said that me leaving her has left a hole in her heart. I've told her that I love her, and her response terrified me.
She said that when I said it, she felt nothing.
In our talks she keeps bringing up the fact that while being with me is comfortable, and easy, she doesn't feel a romantic connection with me, and is not sure if she will again or not.
If anyone has ever been able to repair their relationship after they've been hurt, or they hurt their significant other, what did it take? I'm not asking whether or not I should try, my mind is made up on that. I'm also not asking for "pre packaged" things to do. I know things are much more complicated than that.
I want to know what kinds of things are really going to show her that I'm sorry, and what may it take to show her that I want to be the man she deserves. | I dumped the woman of my dreams because I projected my depression on her by blaming her. I'm working on my issues, and I want her back. How does a man rebuild trust in the woman he loves? |
t3_3e6gl5 | tifu | TIFU by over thinking it | My first TIFU so sorry for the mistakes
So like many tifu's this didn't happen today but a couple months ago, I'm a 17 year old male who has never had a girlfriend (I know pathetic right). So my friend invited me to see her horse show practice, (they just ride around and do drills for their shows) so I'm walking with her cousin chatting it up, when I see this really cute blonde girl, so me bieng very shy and nervous did not approach her all day, so my friends younger sister got her number for me she must've known that I liked her(she's the real OG), texted her the day after we hit it off fairly nicely and I asked her out on valentine's day, to which she said yes.
So after a couple of weeks of going on a few dates, I started thinking to myself and came to the conclusion that she doesn't like me and put me in the friendzone, I decided to seek wisdom from a number of people, as I said before I've never had a girlfriend so I don't know the ropes when it comes to dating.
Here's the FU, I lent my phone to one of my friends who decided to test if we were actually going out, and to my suprise we were I was overjoyed my fellow redditor's, but what happened next proved to be my downfall and my realization on how much of a rookie I was, I told her my feelings for her,I mean we have so much in common and we get along just fine, but it still wasn't enough to save me, she said she wasn't ready for the next level and wouldn't have the heart or time for me, that shit hit me harder than a giant in skyrim.
I thought it couldn't get any worse, but as Billy Mayes would say "but wait there's more!" Turns out she was a lesbian, yup I dated a lesbian, she wanted to apologize for leading me on and that it was stupid for doing that to me and hopes we can still be friends, I just excepted my fate and agreed. I feel so dumb for letting this happen to me, I don't think I can ever date again. | dated a girl for a couple of weeks, only to get my heart broken and find out she was a lesbian who was leading me on, and my dating life may also be ruined. (Sorry for the length) |
t3_36rq7p | relationships | Was I leading him on? | This all happened a while back, but I've since been accused of acting unfairly in this situation.
A friend (at the time 15, M) came out as gay, telling me in private before he did it publicly. I (also 15 M, but about 9 months older than him) came out as bisexual not long after (everyone always suspected I was gay anyway).
He confessed that he found me attractive, and for a couple of months we would fool around, usually at his house. It never went very far, and it remained a secret (though I don't know how many people he might have told privately, if any).
After those couple of months I met a girl and asked her out, and we've been together for two years now. I've since been accused of leading the guy on only to run off with someone else. I don't think this is fair; we never had any kind of formal relationship, it was purely sexual, and I didn't think anything of it at the time. What do you think? | I was accused of leading a guy on because I asked someone else out when we were just fooling around, was that at all wrong? |
t3_3eiwrj | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [20 F] 6-month relationship | So my gf and I got together this past February but we were talking throughout December/January. She had this fuck buddy (let's call him A), whom she was interested in pursuing a relationship at the time but he wanted to stay poly. After she and I get together, this guy is texting and calling her, basically trying to win her back. She doesn't cut him off and indulges in talking to him but doesn't just straight up tell him that she doesn't want to be with him because she wants to be with me. Her reasoning is that she doesn't want to be mean to him. I don't think that's reasonable and I tell her I'm not comfortable with him, especially since she was doing things like inviting him over to events and getting high together. Because she doesn't change her behavior, I break up with her.
She tells me she's gonna change and not talk to him anymore so we get back together. Fast forward to today.
Apparently he had contacted her 2 weeks ago, now "over it" and wanted to rekindle their friendship. They had a brief conversation and that's not really a big deal to me. What is a big deal to me is that today after work, she went to go see him at his workplace and then afterwards, they ended up smoking together. Her reasoning is that she wants to mend this friendship because she's not comfortable with how it ended and also that she wanted some weed (he was her weed dealer).
I broke up with her just now because I see this as complete disrespect on her part towards me. I asked her if she realized that this would bother me and I wouldn't be alright with it and she said she knew but she felt like she really had to fix the relationship because he's "like family" to her.
I think this is complete bullshit but I'd like to get some other thoughts. | I ask girlfriend not to hang out with ex-fuck buddy. 5 months later, she visits his workplace and smokes out with him. I'm pissed. |
t3_2rr6vj | tifu | TIFU by shutting off the space heater to my semi-insulated back room office last night and shutting the door. I live in the NorthEast. | So last night I had this brilliant plan to turn the space heater in my home office because I didn't want my electricity bills to keep escalating. Since the room hangs off the back of the house and was once a Florida room that's since been converted so the insulation isn't the best (it was done in the late 70's not by me) but I figured it would be bearable in the morning and thus I could heat it up. I've done it before and within an hour or two the 50 degree room goes to 65 or so fairly quickly. So off goes the heat and thus I close the insulated door to it.
Well in sets one of the coldest nights of the Winter so far and with the windchill down in the negative teens, I wake up to my room being about 38 degrees as per the thermostat on the one heater. Its now 11am and the heat has been full blast for the last 4 hours, its just over 55 in here now - so feet up, long sleeves, warmest slippers I have and my insulated sweat jacket... still isn't helping much. I'm contemplating gloves because the aluminum from the Macbook is sucking the heat from my palms but typing in them isn't practical. Thankfully only electricity goes to this room, no pipes. | Turned off heat to a semi-insulated room to save electricity, closed the door, had the coldest night of the winter, woke up to a 38 degree office I work in. |
t3_1c4ble | relationship_advice | Commitment Issues. Wouldn't mind some help. | Hey reddit, wouldn't mind a little help here. I've been kept up at night a long time for this, and it's finally getting to the point where I could use some help. Essentially the full situation is that about 2 years ago now I broke up with a long term girlfriend, and probably one of the strongest loves of my life. There were many issues involved, but the breakup never affected us talking to each other/being friends. I've been in 2 relationships since, and neither had the...quality of the relationship in question. Now, the problem here is that I still think I have feelings for her. STRONG feelings. Because of this, I now consider getting together with her again, but I'm not sure...I don't want to get tied down for years missing out on other opportunities like I may have before, especially considering I've went through dramatic changes since I last dated her. Yet at the same time I just know no one can love me like her. She loved me no matter what and helped me through a lot of struggles and I owe a lot success to her...I just don't know what to do here. I've thought about it for a quite awhile now...I sure could use some advice, or someone whose been there before.
Sorry for the wall of text. | Broke off a serious relationship 2 years ago, still in close contact with her. I have strong feelings for her still, yet I have commitment issues. Advice? |
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