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t3_211mm4 | loseit | SV- stopped calorie counting 3 weeks ago... | F/5'5/125
Today I weighed myself for the first time in about 3 weeks. 125 lbs! I have successfully maintained my weight loss without calorie counting for the last few weeks. I know it's not a long time, but I feel like I finally have self control and awareness of what I am shoving into my face now.
For a little background information... I started around the end of last September at 163 pounds (down from 210 in November 2012 when I had my son). I decide to finally try to focus on weight loss, and started logging calorie intake in a notebook. no real calorie budget, just trying to make myself aware. Then I downloaded LoseIt! on my phone and found this sub, and it finally clicked. I lost the weight quickly and maintained it through calorie logging for the last 1-2 months. I added in exercise 4x a week (about an hour of cardio/machine) and realized how much I enjoy working out and even RUNNING!
I don't have pictures other than face progress I have posted to progresspics, maybe I will be brave enough someday to post some. I just needed to say THANK YOU to this sub for helping me and making such a positive change in my life! I feel fantastic! | I have maintained my weight loss and finally have control over my portion sizes/can make smart decisions on my own without tracking everything I eat! |
t3_1swhf1 | AskReddit | My uncle has Cerebral Palsy, any ideas for allowing him to easy day to day tasks? | THANK YOU SO MUCH for looking at this, even if its briefly, it helps raise awareness about the condition. For a little background, my uncle is full body affected (including speech) by CP. He has been living with at home by himself for the last 20 so years by himself since my dad moved out when he married my mother. He used to be able to do long term activities such as hitch hiking across Canada (That took real gonads). Since then his social life has decreased as well as the activities he can participate in to the point where he can no longer do any physical activity that is longer than 3 hours without experiencing tremendous pain. For example, after going to the movies he needs to rest because simply getting in the car, walking to get our seats and then leaving wipe him right out and he needs to rest for several hours. Little motor movements like taking a sip from a drink can take about 15 seconds. He has people who cook for and do daily chores so to be clear not seeking medical consultation thank you.
SO my question to the amazing people here are can you think of any activities or know of any apps or games that he could play to occupy himself so he doesn't waste his time away? (Our family suffers from Alzheimer's so brain working activities would be amazing) | Uncle has sever Cerebral Palsy, do you know of any things he could do to keep himself physically and mentally active? |
t3_150lvp | Advice | Having this problem with my crush... | well, there's this girl I've been having a "Flirtationship" with for a while, she's admitted she likes me a lot, and I have too, yet I really haven't had the balls to ask her out and be official. So, fast foward three years, here we are again, we're at the mall and she confesses again, and I tell her again that I still like her, now, here we are 3 months after that event and I just found out, she's had a boyfriend. **for two years**. this broke my heart. now, I have this strong hate, but love for her. It's weird. I know i shouldn't be hating because i didnt have the balls to ask her out, but do I still have the right to be angry? | My crush that ive had a flirtationship for 3 years has had a boyfriend for 2 and recently she told me she still likes me. can't tell if I should be angry or not |
t3_1xnnm0 | relationships | Me [19 F] with my Boyfriend [20M] of 1 year trying to move past cheating. | I was with my boyfriend for 9 months at the time when I discovered he was cheating on me with a girl that he used to be involved with before me. I gave him a second chance immediately after I found out because I truly believed he was sorry and I am In love with him without a doubt. However I offered no consequence to the fact that he had made a mistake and let things persist without actually dealing with the underlying issues. We recently broke up because the fights were getting unbearable and we could hardly stand each other anymore. However I do have the hope that we can some day be together after we both get our space and figure out how to deal with our issues. I want to get past him cheating but when I get angry that is all I think about and I want to trust him I honestly do but I dont know how to let go of all this negativity.
I need help. Since weve broken up Ive been a mess and although I know it is necessary I dont know how to deal with all these emotions. Am I dumb for having hope that maybe we will be together again? Should I move on? He hasnt told me he wants to get back together, in fact he told me he needed the spaced to figure out how to be more patient and figure out where his anger was stemming from. I dont want to assume that he doesnt care because I know he loves me, I just dont know how long it will take for him to realize if this is what he wants.
Im just really confused about everything and dont know how to deal with any of it. Help. | Boyfriend cheated I forgave him. We broke up and now I dont know how to move past cheating, or if i should move on in general. |
t3_20nyf0 | relationships | Me (21m) with my girlfriend (20f). I feel i'm not good enough for her, and that she deserves better. Need advice. | Background: We're together for a year and a half next weekend, and for the last few month it feels i'm not good enough for her, not because of her, but because of me.
She is amazing, mature, smart, sexy, beautiful girl. I give her everything I can, but because I don't have high income (We both serve in the IDF, at the same base, and we get home each day. She lives at her parents' house, 35 minutes drive from my parents' place, where I live, the IDF gives us less then 130 dollars. A month). She works a lot, I don't have a job. Her job at the army is much easier then mine, I work harder and longer hours, but since she has a job outside the service time, she makes 500 extra dollars a month.
So I feel I'm in her way. She wants to move out. Because of financial reasons, it's far from possible (it will get us deep in debt), although I did try very hard to find a solution. I feel badly for it. She loves me a lot, but I think she may feel resentment towards me.
Second reason is I don't find a job, knowing full well we may not be able to meet almost at all if we both have a job... So i'm think i'm waiting for her to finish her active service (I have a year and 5 month to go. She has a bot less the 4 month, but i'm not sure about it.
Lastly, After she will finish her two year duty (females soldiers have to serve two years, male soldiers have to serve three) she will probably want to continue with her life, and I will be stuck behind... And it sucks.
Clarification: we have a lot of love and support in our relationship. She tries her best to help me not feel this way. | I feel i'm not good enough for my girlfriend, despite it not being true. How can I help myself stop feeling this way? |
t3_1sglw1 | relationships | Me [22/F] with my friend crush [22 M] for 6 months, I've never had a relationship and have been sexually abused, he got out of his relationship a few months ago | So my question is how to approach the feelings that I've been having for him. We've known each other for about 2 years but became really close over the past 6 months. His ex-girlfriend is our mutual friend and before they broke up I never really looked at him in a romantic way however since the break up I've been having really strong feeling for him. The problem is I never had a relationship and have been date raped almost 2 years ago - haven't slept or really done anything with anyone besides kissing since. He is a relationship guy however as far as I know he's never done the approaching himself with his ex-girlfriends and his last break up seems to have been pretty tough on him. I have some reasons to believe that he might like me back (talks to me daily, is always really attentive, holds my hand while we're in the club and constantly seems to stare at me) however I don't think I'm strong enough to tell him how I feel. Also I'm afraid that my trauma (that he doesn't know about) might influence our relationship if we do try to pursue it and my issues with sex might ruin not only the relationship but also our friendship which would be hard not only on us but also our tight-knit group of friends. What should I do in this situation? Anyone have any experience with dealing with post-rape trauma in a new relationship? | Have a crush on a guy friend. He might like me back but I'm afraid to do anything because of my inexperience and past sexual trauma. |
t3_2j9d2y | relationships | Relationship advice please | Okay so I need some advice on my relationship. I'll lay down the things that are currently bothering me plus what isnt bothering me so theres some pros and cons
I am 22, female, in university, and been in a relationship for a little over two years.
My boyfriend is the same age, male, construction worker, and same relationship.
I'll start off with the good:
1.) Great communication.
2.) Both love each other.
3.) Talked about the future yatayata.
4.) Mutual physical attraction.
5.) Both laid back/happy people
Now the bad/troublesome:
1.) He has changed his career target four or five times in two years and hasnt taken any steps towards any of them really.
2.) He hasnt been able to get a full year round job since ive known him (only works seasonal).
3.) When he is unemployed he gets depressed and doesnt try hard to find work (hell apply to one place and then get frustrated when they don't call him back).
4.) He pretty much said he will move to the place he wants to go regardless if I chose to come with him or not.
Some things to keep in mind are: he has to pay for all his expenses including rent and car so he is not financially stable to pay for school yet. He has had some medical problems for a while that hes just figured out and started fixing. His parents divorced while he was in the middle of highschool so his grades and outlook werent that high on graduation and he also suffered from depression and insomnia.
My dilemna is... is it his situation that is holding him back from moving forward in life or is it himself.
I grew up pretty priveldged compared to him. My parents are still together, I always had high grades and my parents helped pay for part of my first year in university. I didnt have to start working till grade 12. I always had my parents helping me look for job opportunities and forcing me to apply places until I had a job. And next next summer I will hopefully be done my degree and making six figures after I pass my licencing exam. | I am not sure if my bf is unwilling to work hard or if it's life getting in the way. Please advise. |
t3_2ohdr2 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [19 F] 8 mo, is all cheating created equal? Is this even cheating? | Been with my girlfriend since April. Love her with all my heart. She's always been here for me. In passing last night, she mentioned that something happened between her and one of her male friends our first week of being exclusive. Not sex. Not even kissing on the lips. But this is what happened.
She's always been a big cuddler (we both agreed that cuddling with other people was okay.) Our first week, her male friend had lost his job and she went over to his apartment for the night. They cuddled and kissed (just on the cheek or forehead - she made that clear to both me and him) and talked to make him feel better. This male friend did have feelings for her at the time, but he did make sure to respect her boundaries.
I'm not exactly comfortable with her spending the night in his bed, especially given his feelings for her at the time, but is this considered "cheating?" It was the very first week in our relationship and there was no sex and only cheek-kissing. She made it clear to him that everything she was doing, she was doing with platonic intents. I believe her. I've even confirmed all this with the guy in question. She's generally a very affectionate person and she's always been 100% open and honest with me. She's never hid any texts or facebook messages from me.
The question is, would you consider this particular situation cheating? I don't condone cheating and I agree that she may have toed the line a little with sleeping in his bed, but is it really bad enough to dump her? I love her with all my heart. I know Reddit's stance on cheating. At what point does something become cheating? | Girlfriend of eight months slept over with a male friend our first week. I'm not exactly comfortable with it, but would hesitate to call it cheating. Is there such thing as a gray area? |
t3_t5bcs | legaladvice | My university bought me a computer and they want it back now, but the email they sent looks really strange... | Sorry for the throw away. So I was in this PhD program for a couple of year and the university paid for a desktop computer that I purchased. They told me back then that, when I leave, they will keep the computer, which is perfectly fine by me.
Anyway, I decided to withdraw a few weeks ago, and submitted my forms, and everything went through just fine. But, this morning I received this email from our secretary about the computer, basically saying that I can either bring it back, or email someone at computing to buy it for a fair market price.
**The think is the email is just a little strange. First, it is not sent to my email address but BCCed to me! The sender and receiver of the email are the secretary, and the university's IT guy is also CCed. Also, the email does not address my name personally at all, and the opening is a generic "Good morning,". Also, it does not directly say that I did not return the computer, but that "we were unsure if you returned the computer that they purchased for you". This has made me a little curious, is there any [legal] reason for this, or are they just being nice? If they are being nice, why wouldn't they put my email in the TO field, where it is supposed to be. Why BCC? Strange! | university bought me a computer when I was at school. I dropped out. Now they want their computer back, but they don't ask for it directly, why? |
t3_2ndti1 | relationships | I [22 M] am leaving soon, he [25 M] doesn't want a LDR, but still wants to see me and stay friends when I'm gone. Dating for a couple months, unclear. | I am on exchange since August and I met an incredible guy who I knew I liked right away, but as I'm insecure and I knew I would be leaving in January I didn't say a thing. I was okay just seeing him as friends, and going out together for dinner, or whatever, was fine with me. But then he said he liked me, so I said it back. We had never dated anyone before and we were each others first kiss. Nothing else much has happened, except we try to see each other when we're not busy with something else.
He recently asked me what's going to happen with us when I leave, and made it very clear that he just wants to be friends with me after this but would like to see me, still dating, while I'm here. I agreed to this, as I still want to see him...
I know the time and experiences we spent together are not enough to keep us together forever, but I just want a chance. I would like to come back in a year and a half for grad school (not for him) and I could definitely visit next summer (for him) but he doesn't think it's fair for me. It just feels like he doesn't want to hurt me by not wanting to be with me, but at the same time he wants to date me.
I feel like I was not enough, not just because of the time, and it hurts so bad.
Is it advisable to keep things going like he wants? | I'm an exchange student and I'm leaving soon, he wants to keep dating while I'm here and then that's it; is that a bad idea? |
t3_25ggov | askwomenadvice | As a [26 y.o] man, why can't I treat my little baby boy the same way my wife does? | It's not like I'm rough..
for instance, when I pick him out of his baby seat in the kitchen, she says I do it too fast.
For me, it just seems normal, but she says I'm hurting him on his legs, how they scrape the chair on his way out, but I couldn't see it like that.
At the end of the day, I know I have to emulate the mother as she knows best, but I have some kind of weird instinct that's telling me that I know better.
Another example, if he takes a nasty poo and it's poking out the top of his diaper - when you change him, you have to raise his legs up kind of high to get all the way up his back clean with the whiper. So she says I was raising it up too high, and hurting him.
For me, I didn't see I was hurting him at all. He was crying, but he's always crying when we change him, it's like a rule. So I didn't see any difference, but she was saying he was crying because I lifted him up too high.
These kinds of things where I can't get down to his level, or up to her level and see how to do things correctly....
I just feel like a horrible dad, and she's ultimately hating me too because I don't know how to treat him right | Am I a monster if I can't be a male version of a mother? Is it normal to not have the empathy a mother has? |
t3_gkuua | AskReddit | My 6 year old cousin was suspended indefinetly from his elementary school, what should I do? | April 1st: This week my 6 year old cousin with autism was removed from class when his teachers walked off the job citing their right to refuse unsafe work. As a result the district has asked to keep him out of school indefinitely.
April 5: Global News does a story on my cousin
April 6:Cousin suspended once again he returned to class yesterday for the last half of the day. There were no reported incidents. The district (SD35) is claiming worksafe rules prevent them from allowing Hunter into the classroom.
April 7: My cousin is forced to stay home today. Aunt and Uncle considering homeschooling/ legal action.
My cousin does have a history of biting people but was assigned an aid for all hours of the school day to help him.
I'm a long time reddit lurker and this is the first thing thats happened to me that is worth posting. | My 6 year old son was suspended from his Elementary school because his 24/7 classroom helper walked out on the job, she was afraid she was in danger of physical harm, from a six year old. |
t3_13ge5u | Advice | I feel like I need more education to be better at what I do. Help? | Wall of text, sorry:
So here is my whole story. I did well in high school and got a high score on my ACT, full ride scholarship etc. The summer before college, I found out that my then girlfriend, now wife, was pregnant which kind of turned my whole world around. Anyways, we go away to school together and I do well the first year and then we decide to move back home. So I go to another school closer to home for a couple of years (keep in mind this whole time I have no clue what I want to major in so I have jumped around a lot) and start working for my dad's concrete business. He started me out in the field but shortly after moved me into the office and I have fallen in love with it. So after about 3 semesters of that school I transfer to a small community college because I still want to get a degree for back up in case the whole "working for dad" thing doesn't work out and the community college offered something I was interested in. So I go there for a semester and still feel like I am not in the right place so I decide college isn't right for me I just need to quit and besides working for dad is going well so I'll just stick to that. Fast forward about a year and I still feel like I need more education but I have a different outlook on it now. The approach that I have now is that I have already figured out what I want to do (I always said I would never like to do what my dad does, but after doing it for three years I absolutely love it) and I want to be educated in a way that will optimize my performance rather than wanting a degree so I can just get a job doing something that I might enjoy. But now I feel like I don't have the time to go back to school full time and I definitely want to do everything online because it is so much more convenient. I don't even have to have a degree, but I want some kind of training that goes beyond just the on-the-job experience that I have been recieving. Can anyone help me? | I never graduated college and now that I have found a career path that is right for me I feel that I still need more education to help me be the best worker that I can be. |
t3_4esseg | relationships | Boyfriend (26m) for a year and a half says he thinks about cheating on me (23f) | First off I am new here, so don't be too mean to me lol but, My boyfriend of a year and a half and father of my child said that he has thought and does think about cheating on me, but he doesn't want to ruin what he has with me. He said that he just feels like he needs something different sometimes, that he has never really been a one chick, long term relationship kind of guy. I guess I just don't know wheather to be happy he doesn't want to ruin what we have or be upset because I know very well if he was cheating I'd never catch him, he would be too good at covering his tracks. It's really been messing with my mind because I really lost all the trust I had for him when he told me that, I guess I just want to know if I should believe he hasn't cheated or am I right to worry that he has or will soon. | !- boyfriend (26m) of a year and a half says he thinks about cheating on me (23f) |
t3_18otcb | relationships | I [27M] am unhealthily jealous of my girlfriend [32F] without any major reason in an otherwise happy relationship. | We have been together about a year now. This is my first serious and longer relationship. We can talk quite openly about things on our minds and I have actually talked about this to her too. This indeed otherwise is a healthy relationship. We daily remind each other how much we care about each other, sex is good and had every time we meet and otherwise everything seems ok. Its just this one bit...
I get really jealous over the smallest things. It's not the healthy kind "omg i find it annoying", but more like "I'm gonna break up with her because of this" -jealous. Sometimes I'm filled with feelings of anger, being scared, betrayed, lacking trust and really hate her for causing these feelings. I usually try not to direct or show these feelings to her (sometimes I do and then I feel even worse). I do know this is my issue. If I think objectively and sensically, I would have no reason for the jealousy, but it is emotions and as such really difficult to control.
This jealousy could happen over a really trivial reason, like I see her in a picture with another guy, touching each other. Another example could be when she is wearing a low-cut top and having a night out without me.
I've been going through the internet, reading various articles how to cope with jealousy and lack of trust, but no luck. I still notice finding myself in hatred towards her over miniscule reasons. I'd really appreciate any advice that you guys might have. Even better if its first hand experience how to get over it. | I get extensively jealous over minor things and realize it's all just inside my head, but still can't help it. |
t3_hav1s | AskReddit | Shortstop: Is this common terminology? (NSFW) | Many years ago, I came across the game of "baseball" in the sexual sense. First base is kissing, second is touching, third is oral sex, and a home run is intercourse. Pretty widely accepted to my knowledge. Recently a friend used the term "shortstop" to describe the halfway point between second and third (fingering/handjobs) and it immediately caught on with me and the majority of my friend group.
I understand that most of the people on reddit aren't high school/college age and probably don't dwell on these kinds of things too much, but I'm wondering if this is common terminology. And on that note, are there other additions/changes to "baseball" that you use? | First base is kissing, home run is sex. Does anyone else say shortstop is fingering/handjob? Other additions/changes? |
t3_12oe1e | jobs | Need help breaking into Medical Billing and Coding Field? | I have been certified by the NHA (National Healthcareer Association) in both Medical Billing and Coding, and in Medical Administrative Assisting.
I've been trying to find an actual medical billing and coding company that I can go to, since I've never been employed in this field, I know how to do most of it, but it wouldn't hurt for me to be trained. I've called around to most doctors offices, and only 1 has asked me to come in and drop off my resume (Which I did today and hopefully I'll hear back from them) but I'm wondering if anyone knows of any medical billing and coding companies near Orlando, Florida? or if there's some list somewhere I just don't know about?
I really don't wanna have to start off working at a random grocery store of some sort. I'd really like to get a job doing what I was trained to do, but people have told me that since I've never had a job before that it's unlikely I'll get a job right off the bat in medical billing and coding.
Any advice? | I'm certified in medical billing and coding, and medical administrative assistance, I've never had a real job before, and I'm looking for medical billing and coding companies in Orlando. Any advice is appreciated, Thanks! |
t3_2qak50 | relationships | Are my BF's (24 M) standards for communication too high? | So my BF of 2.5 years is a very affectionate guy (both physically and verbally) whereas I (23 F) have had to practice at it. I come from a family that doesn't really talk about emotions or anything really while his family is really open about their emotions. So I've definitely had to work at communication and initiation of affection (both verbal and physical). I've been trying pretty hard to change and get better at this.
He told me that he sometimes feels like I don't love or care about him as much as he loves me. Basically because I don't tell him as much as he thinks I should or if I do it's because he's prompted it. For the record, I'm not silent about my feelings. I tell him I love him all the time, I do things like make handmade cards, I'm super cuddly (although not as much as him) and I'm a good listener/supporter (he's told me this). BUT I don't initiate sex often (something I'm working on) and I don't often talk about how I feel about him (unless he asks).
It hurts because I feel like I'm doing everything I can to get better at communication and initiation of sex/affection. I also wonder if his standards are too high. I feel like if he doesn't get the exact kind of affection he's looking for without having to ask for it than he's unhappy. Maybe he should relax his standards knowing that everyone communicates differently. But maybe I'm just getting defensive. Should I just take his feelings at face value and try harder to initiate affection? | BF feels like I don't love him as much as he loves me because I don't volunteer affection as much as he does. Are his standards too high or should I try harder? |
t3_3im95j | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 6 months, trust was broken early, never recovered. | During the first month of our relationship, I betrayed her trust. She found pictures I idiotically took of another girl. I was sure she was going to break up with me, but she decided to stay. Her reasoning being that everybody makes mistakes and that I would never do anything like it ever again, or be anything but completely faithful. 5 months later, we are still together but hanging by a thread, over the 5 months the issue of trust has been brought up several times.
We both want to be in the relationship, she says that she does not want something stupid that I did to ruin it, she believes that all the other things I do for her and the kind of boyfriend I am are too good to just throw away because of one thing. I believe that she resents me, and she has said it before that she regrets staying but would not change it if she could. I accept and understand if she wanted to break up, because I hate myself for betraying her trust in the way I did but the relationship is not moving forward because of the pictures. I do not blame her, I am not here to be made feel better, I am here for help, and advice that would hopefully save or put our relationship back on the right path.
She has not forgiven me for the pictures, and holds it over my head but I accept it because It is my fault we are in this situation, If I never took the pictures we would never be like this. The main issue is that she does not trust me and I would like a way to rebuild the trust, any argument or thing that is brought up comes back to the pictures and betrayal of trust. We are both young and stumped on what to do to move forward because we both enjoy the relationship , we do not want to break up. | Betrayed trust early in the relationship, trust still has not been recovered and is now preventing the relationship from moving forward. Both of us, do not want the relationship to end. |
t3_1sxglu | relationships | I [22 M] need advice about my friend[18 F] | 1st of all, this is a throwaway, because some friends knows my real account.
And sry about my english, its not my natural language.
And im sry if i missed subreddit, idk where to post this.
----
I was social akward kid, i did not have girlfriend, no experience in that field.
Soo im asking u guys/girls for advice.
----
I meet a girl through videogame, we had a great time playing,
later we started talking and it turns out shes actually lives 5 mins from me.
We played this game even more together, she told me that im preety funny guy.
And playing with her is the most fun i have in a long time. She even promised me that she will go with me on some gaming event. And then everything change(at least im thinking that, hope im wrong). Some jealous guys made up a story that we are dating, which she did not like, and then she startet to act angry around me. We talked about that problem, and she apologys to me for being angry on me. I was happy because i fixed that stupid lie, and i was thinking that we are gonna have great time again.
Well that was not the case, now she rarely talks to me, she dont laugh on my jokes like before.
And im afraid she will not go on that gaming event with me.
My question is:
If u had a similar situation, are things gonna be as were before? Should i give her more time to forget that lie, or should i react or not? I dont know what to do. I dont want to lose her as a friend, and maybe later a girlfriend. | Im feeling that im losing my friend and maybe a girlfriend, because some lie. And i dont want to lose her. Need advice |
t3_35dqvb | Pets | My cat doesn't understand my appartment has multiple floors. | Hello,
I have a problem with my cat, Jake.
I live in an appartment on the first floor with a small forest at the back with a terrace. Jake has been on the terrace for a few months and never tried to jump down. Unfortunately, there is no way for him to get down or up safely.
Because there is such a nice forest next to us, and there are other cats from neighbours where he's "talking " to when he's on the terrace, I want to teach him to get outside.
For a few times, I brought him downstairs. He flees immediately into the bushes. After a few hours, he's always crying at the door of my neighbour on the ground level. He does not understand that the door at ground level does not access my apartment. When he's crying to get in, I rush down, but when I approach him, he flees again. I keep calling his name but he's hiding. As soon as I'm back in my apartment he's crying again.
Somehow, he does not want to picked up when he's outside. He just wants to enter the door, which is offc not possible because it's not my door. For three times I had to ask my neighbour to let him in and pick him up at his place. | How do I learn my cat that when he's outside and wants to come in, that he should not cry at my neighbours door but allows me to pick him up? |
t3_2ve0sq | relationships | ADVICE: I (17, M) want to take a break from our relationship, but am unsure how to discuss it with her. | Not a throwaway.
To start off, me (M) and my girlfriend have been together for just about 11 months. We are both young and it is both our first relationships. She and I have both agreed on multiple occasions that we would like to stay friends come the time when our relationship ends. This would be ideal in a perfect world, but nothing ever really turns out that way.
Over the past couple months, our relationship has been a bit strained, and for weeks now, I have been really trying to find that right opportunity to end it with her. I've been trying to hold out to our 1 year, but it has become clear it's going to be very hard to make it.
Prior to this period, her work load increased, and seemed to put me on the backburner. Of course that is a natural reaction to a certain extent, but her coldness and short temper towards me at times really made me fall out of it, leading to my feeling of wanting to just end it and let her do her own thing. But, recently she's opened up and actually started putting me a bit more forward in her thoughts. This would be all fine and dandy, but I honestly just don't feel it anymore. I still care about her, she still is one of the most important people in my life, but I just don't feel that same love towards her anymore.
I feel like I could provide examples and situations from our time together, but this post is already long enough. | Our 11 month relationship is starting to fall, but I wish to remain friends, just not sure how to break it to her. |
t3_p0jns | AskReddit | I absolutely can not handle people. Maybe Reddit has some advice? | Hey Reddit, Throw away account for obvious reasons.
I'm a popular guy, in my mid twenties, never had trouble with women or making friends. People like me, and I've been told I have good charisma. However, I can't keep friends. I can not think of one close friend I've ever had in my life. I've dated girls upwards of four years, and never felt really close to them in that span, and the worst part is I usually end up actively pushing away people who get too close to me because they somehow irk my annoyances.
Here's a good example.
I was at a party last night with some people who consider me a friend, and they were drunk and stupid. There is this girl who... loves me. She wants a relationship with me, and I've been warming up to the idea. She got drunk, and started getting flirty and otherwise just stupid drunk, we've all been there. I'm not the jealous type, at all. But the way she acted, and the feeling that I had to take care of her really just triggered my annoyance of people.. This morning, I told her... flat out that I couldn't handle that. I can not handle having to deal with the neurosis of others, and even though we weren't yet together. I flat out told her I couldn't ever date someone like her. She cried, and said she couldn't talk to me right now.
Now listening to this, you might see it as justified, I mean, who wants a girl who gets drunk and stupid? Here's the addendum: I've known her for five years, and it's the first time I'd ever seen her do this.
I really liked this girl, and I actually was excited to be with her. But... it's almost like I was looking for excuses to not like her, and hopped on the first one I found, regardless of how horrible it was.
The worst part is I'm becoming increasingly more lonely in my life. | I've never had problems making friends or getting in relationships, but I actively look for reasons to push away and end them. Even in doing this, I am completely lonely and wish I could find a way not to do this. |
t3_15xs1z | relationships | I [20F] have been hooking up with a really great guy [23M] and I'm getting mixed signals. | I have seen this guy about 5 or 6 times in the past two months. We first hooked up to get down to business, but I noticed right off the bat he liked to cuddle, talk, share things and he stayed with me the first night we had sex. Sometimes he'll pick me up to stay the night at his house, and we watch tv together, play music, hangout, and then finish the night with amazing, passionate, and somewhat "romantic" sex. I'm talking like foreheads touching, massaging, lots of me receiving foreplay, he focuses on me a lot. He tells me that I'm "comforting" and "sexy". He'll massage me while we cuddle, and kiss me randomly on my cheek and head. I get compliments like "youre beautiful" and "youre sweet" instead of "hot" like hookups usually get called. We make plans to make dinner together and I know a fair amount about his life. if I need anything, or someone, He's there for me.
So the catch is, we met on POF and his profile says he is not looking for any kind of commitment. He hasn't had a girlfriend in almost two years. He's also very fit and attractive, girls hit on him all the time, but he's kind of quiet, and pays most attention to me. I am getting mixed signals out the wazoo. I can't really tell if he likes me or is just being nice while he's hooking up with me. It seems a bit much for a girl you've hooked up with 5 times right? Sometimes he will disappear for a couple days at a time. (Its not to hang out with other girls. I know this), apologise for being busy, and then come spend time with me again. I know my best advice will be to talk to him. But I don't wanna give off that "relationship" talk and scare him away. I don't know how to ask him, or pose the question. | guy I've been seeing treats me like a girlfriend when we're together, but doesn't talk about a relationship, and doesn't seem interested in one. Confused. |
t3_1s59q1 | relationships | Is it better to have a similar or differing personalities? [19M] considering a [18F] long-term relationship. | I'm considering getting into a long-term relationship with a friend I've had since high school. We've known each other for six years, but we recently started hanging out a lot more frequently over the past four months. It's to the point where I think I need to clarify the relationship status with her.
The main hook of our relationship is that we come from almost identical backgrounds and hold a very similar worldview. We only share a couple of major interests (church volunteering and music), although she's much more serious about the latter than me.
Personality-wise, we're also very similar. We're both introverted, with her being just a bit moreso than me. Although I thought both of our perfectionist tendencies would clash, we're able to sympathize with each other really well. She has a work ethic akin to mine, and she's very independent.
The problem is that I don't know whether having almost identical personalities would be a damper or a support for a long-term relationship. I hear my friends talk about how people are typically attracted to those with complementing (opposite) personalities.
I know it's incredibly subjective, so I'm wondering what your take on it is. | Is it better for me, as a perfectionist type, to have a partner with a similar or different personality than me? |
t3_2q490y | personalfinance | Someone critique this strategy: $350,000 student loans paid via Income-Based Repayment (IBR) with minimum payments | The strategy is to pay a little as possible for the life of the loans (until 25 years have passed and the amount is "forgiven"). I have made my own calculations, but I'm not the most savy with mathematics. Let me know how you disagree or if some estimates aren't as accurate as they could be.
My prediction is that the responses to this will be counter arguments that say: "one should try to pay the loans back as quickly as possible". If that is what you think, could you give me some math to explain?
Numbers:
$80,000 salary
$350,000 loans (7% interest)
$705 / month payment (IBR: 15% of disposable income paid towards loans)
Inflation = 3.5% / year
25 years later I will be forgiven the loan amount (which has now grown to $700,000), but I will have to pay taxes on this which is $245,000 in 2039 dollars. | By minimizing one's payments to only $705/month using IBR, one would have one large bill of $245k. But also a ROTH IRA and other investments, provided I don't inflate my lifestyle. |
t3_38tvv7 | relationships | Me [21M] with my girl I'm talking to [22F] for 4 months, she doesn't want to be exclusive due to her getting of a relationship. What do I do while she is gone all summer?? | So the girl got out of a long relationship, then we met a few weeks later and started talking and going out on dates and basically hanging out everyday.
We had the "talk" 3 times. 1st to let each other know that we like each other. 2nd she told me she wanted to take it slow. 3rd I asked her for a relationship/exclusive but she said she was gonna be gone all summer and didn't want to start a relationship like that, and needed some time to herself due to her getting of a super long/bad relationship.
Well she is gone back home for the summer, and here I am. Me and her text every now and then and snapchat and stuff. She told me she wasn't planning on seeing or dating anyone else because she will be busy visiting her old friends and family, because her and her mom and dad live in Tennessee, and is visiting her friends and fam in Florida, where she use to live.
She will be back in 2 months, and asked for me to come up and visit her when she gets back. One of her guy friends from my hometown is visiting her, and she asked me to come/ride with him.
Well I am back home, and have nothing to do really. And 2 girls have asked me to hangout and have been flirty. Idk whether I should say fuck it and hangout with them and have some fun over the summer. and see where things are between me and the girl im talking to when she gets back?
OR
not hangout with the 2 girls from my hometown and hope for the best when that girl gets back from florida...
I realllllllllly like this girl, but I'm still kind of worried that she will not like me as much when she gets back and I'll have wasted my whole summer, and I'll just sit here regretting all of it. Due to her not wanting a relationship and wanting to wait.
adivce please? | Should I have fun with the 2 girls or stay committed to the girl I like and wait for when she gets back to see where things are?? |
t3_3euujk | relationships | My husband [34/M] told me [31/f] he wants a divorce because I gained some weight during our first year of marriage, but I'm starting to think he was having an affair. | [Original Thread](
I came on here begging for help to find a way to get my husband to love me for who I am and really all I got was nothing but hatred from a lot of you. Many have you said that he would leave me and yes, he i leaving me. He hasn't been home since our fight and just 5 days ago I met with him for lunch where he told me that he has fallen out of love with me and wants a divorce. He's not willing to even give me a chance, he acts like he wants nothing to do with me.
I gained about 30 pounds our first year of marriage. I'm starting to see more that yes, I should loose a few pounds, but even though you guys complained that I was "delusional", "acted like a child" and don't deserve him, I'm starting to think it had nothing to do with my weight in the first place. I'm pretty positive he found someone else.
I'm remembering more and more the late nights he claimed he was at work, his nightly "Work calls" where he would sneak in the bedroom to "hear them clearly", it was all red flags. I'm angry. I'm hurt and I need to find a way to show him that he needs me. He didn't "fall out of love" that quickly! He now maybe met a woman who is trying to seduce him (maybe only just wants what she can't have) and he is confused and I know that in today's modern age, with social networking and all, more and more people are faced with temptation. While he sees a dead end, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please, reddit. Stop focusing on my body and just HELP me get my husband back! | husband left me claiming it had to do with my weight, but I think a woman is trying to push him to commit to her instead. |
t3_n4sfk | AskReddit | So Reddit, I had a horrible dentist, what's your worst dentistry experience? | My family and I had been going to this dentist for years and years. We'll call him Dr. Smith. I hate the dentist and have a horrible fear of them. It didn't help that Dr. Smith was an old dentist that seemed to have the same facilities and equipment since we've gone to him. Aside from the bi-annual cleanings, he usually cleared me with no problems in my teeth and to floss better.
I remember that I had just gone in March 2008 to get a cleaning. He took bite wing xrays of my teeth and said that everything looked healthy and great. Two weeks later, I woke up with the deepest pain in one of my back teeth. It turns out one of the fillings he had put in failed long before. On the Xray at my new dentist's place (Dr. Awesome), a long, dark streak was in the middle of the tooth indicating that the tooth was definitely dead and definitely needed a root canal.
After getting the root canal, Dr. Awesome took new bite wings and discovered I had a total of 10 cavities, 7 of which were caused by Dr. Smith's poor fillings, 2 which were borderline, and 1 that was beginning to form. After testing my mouth, he noticed that I was genetically predisposed to cavities because I have more bacteria in my mouth. FUCK DR. SMITH. | My old dentist cleared me for a full bill of health at a cleaning, I ended up finding out I had 10 cavities, and needed a root canal two weeks later at another dentist's office. |
t3_3xw0oq | relationships | I think my (22F) best friend/roommate (22F) of 4 years has an internet trolling addiction. How can I help? | Basically what the title says. Been friends with this girl since freshman year, roomed together since last year. She's always been someone who's often on the computer but this semester it was completely out of hand in my opinion. She'd skip classes and meals sometimes.
We just got done with finals yesterday and all through finals week she'd be laughing at stuff online while I was trying to study. When I took breaks I'd ask what was so funny and she'd start telling me about how she trolls people on all kinds of sites, Facebook comment threads, Tumblr, Reddit subs, forums, 4chan, blah blah, by pretending to hold ridiculous opinions and get people mad. She's trolled as an MRA/"Red Pill" guy, a "nice guy" complaining about the friend zone, a brony, a racist Donald Trump supporter, a Tumblr Sjw, a radical feminist, basically any kind of persona that's subject to widespread vitriol on the Internet, she's pretended to be to get people mad and then laugh at their reactions.
I don't know how much she ever worked on her finals, I ended up spending the last few days in the library to study because she was distracting me. But every time I'd go back to her room she was on the computer and I could see that what was on her screen was not related to school. I expressed concern at one point but she got annoyed and said it was fine.
I'm worried she didn't do well in classes this semester because of this. We're really close to graduating (this May) and I want my best friend by my side on that day. I don't feel like I can sit back and just watch her throw away everything she's worked for to sit on the internet writing stupid posts for shits and giggles.
How can I best approach her about this without seeming like I'm being controlling or over concerned? | close friend and roommate is slacking on schoolwork because she prefers to troll people online at all hours of the day and I'm worried the consequences are going to catch up to her. |
t3_pi7jm | BreakUps | Do the same rules apply if you break it off? | Her F30 me M31
I broke up with her last night after our 3rd try at this. So much fighting all the time about everything. I know I love her and I know she loves me but we just dont work in a relationship together. This has to be the right decision, its not supposed to be this way with someone you love and want to be with long term, theres supposed to be more good than bad...
If you break it off do you still do delete FB, block phone, hit gym, no contact?
She tried to call me today and we talked for a minute or two "are you really sure this is what you want?" I love you with all my heart, I could hear the pain in her voice the breaking of her heart. I feel like a dick, that I should have been different in myself and the way I was and we wouldnt fight. I love her, shes amazing...but we just dont work. | do you also delete FB, hit gym yada yada. Or are you just the POS cause you broke up with her? |
t3_16wi4h | relationships | Can you ever start dating too soon after a break up? (m 25 f 24) | My ex and I broke broke up somewhat mutually almost two weeks ago and we had been together for a year and half. We had a good relationship ship but decided we both could be happier because we had so many differing views and interests.
I was initially very distraught but looked at the situation rationally that we were broken up and there was no sense in looking backward. I have gone on a two dates with a girl(23) who I have had a strong connection with with and she has been the one to ask for another date so I know she has an interest in me. I feel ready to date again but this is the first I have been through a long term relationship breakup so maybe I'm fooling myself without knowing? | I recently broke up with my ex but started dating after two weeks, is that too early after being in a year and half relationship? |
t3_q3ct0 | AskReddit | What was one moment where you were truly proud of your own intelligence that helped you out of a bad situation. | Me first:
One winter, when I was about 13 or 14, I got off of the school bus to find myself locked out of my own home. My dad usually got home a few hours later and so did my mom. This was before cell phones so I couldn't call anyone. We had a key out front hidden under a brick in case this situation ever happened but, being winter and it had just snowed, the key and brick were frozen solid. I started to get nervous because it was freezing outside and I had to pee. I thought for a moment and then it hit me. "I'll pee on the frozen brick/key and melt the snow and ice." It worked. I told my parents about it and they were so surprised and proud of me that I had even thought about doing something like that. | Locked out of house in the winter, key was frozen to the ground, had to pee on it to get inside. |
t3_2p8y1v | relationships | The father [29 M] of my newborn [3 mo F] is no longer interested in me [29 F], but says I can't leave with her. I feel so trapped. | Last September I started dating a guy, long distance (he was in New York, and I in California). In February, I found out I was pregnant. He said he would support whatever decision I made, and I decided I wanted to keep the baby and continue living in California, for at least another year. So in June, he moved out here, and things have been downhill ever since, fighting (verbally) all the time. We fought the night before my water broke, but he was there to bring me to the hospital and throughout labor. Perhaps unsurprisingly, since the birth of our daughter, things have not improved between us. He treats our daughter quite well, and he pays the rent and food, but we have realized that we have very different and conflicting expectations in a partner.
I would be inclined to keep trying and/or seek counseling, but he is simply no longer interested in nor sexually attracted to me. It's a tough pill to swallow, and I am increasingly more unhappy cohabitating with him, especially given the way he feels. He spends several hours a day playing video games and surfing the internet, while I am juggling breastfeeding, diapering and mealmaking. I want to move back to my old place (which I own), but he says that while I am free to go, our daughter must stay with him. She is only 3 months, and I would like to continue breastfeeding her for at least a year, but it is so emotionally draining to be around her father--I still love him, and it just hurts to be around his indifference toward me, especially in the face of his love of our daughter.
The last thing I want is to get the law involved. So what can or should I do? | I want to move out with my 3-month old daughter, but her father won't let me. How do I resolve this without going to court? |
t3_3lcxg6 | relationships | HAPPY UPDATE: I [18 F] slept with someone else before we were exclusive, he [23 M] found out and was really upset, is this a lost cause? | Update to
Thank you all so much for your advice. It helped me keep a clear head and avoid making a fool of myself spamming him with text messages as I was fighting the urge to do. I took the advice of the majority and gave him space, and I didn't force any serious conversations off the get-go or remind him of what happened unless he brought it up.
I am so happy to say that things are good. Really good. Like just as good as before. We spent 4 days straight together and the intimacy was palpable in the air, and last night he finally brought up the elephant in the room. He still wants me! I guess his reaction was more out of a fear that I wasn't into him than it was about me being "tainted" as I'd feared, so after hanging out again with the same consistency as before I think I managed to properly convey my feelings through actions rather than words. He expressed a desire to give a serious relationship a real go, and I told him I wanted nothing more.
YAY!
From this whole experience I've learned to be forthright from the beginning and to never assume. I'm so fucking relieved. He's a real catch, aside from this incident it is no stretch to say everything was and is perfect. In his words, "we're so good together". :) :)
Thanks again Reddit! | Gave him space and didn't blow up his phone, hung out slowly on his terms, now things are good! |
t3_2ef1zk | relationships | Me [24 M] with a girl i've been seeing [20 F] for almost a month , is she avoiding me? | So there's this girl at work who I've been seeing a short time, she's a supervisor and I'm a staff member and we had this great friendship at work that evolved into dating. So this week I don't hear from her, which is ok because she doesn't do a whole lot of mediated communication/social media so I just figure I'll be seeing her at work. When I get there I find out she's leaving at the end of August for a month to go to England for family matters.
She also starts ducking any offer I make to see her before she goes, or have lunch together or anything; its shot down with some excuse or other, and things she used to do, like giving me a ride home, are all of a sudden out of the question. She's also acting a little agitated when I'm around her and its just the two of us.
I don't know what to make of this, there was no fight or discussion or "hey, I need some time alone its been fun but I have to move on" or anything, just all of a sudden I'm left hanging and am supposed to just fuck off. | Seeing a girl at work for around a month, all of a sudden wants nothing to do with me in the wake of an emergency trip overseas. |
t3_34zpe9 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my friend[26 M] of over a year, wanting to start a relationship but my parents do not approve. | Long story short, I still currently live with my parents and depend on them financially because I am still in college. I plan to graduate next spring and move out after that.
The problem is, my very Catholic, conservative parents do not approve of my potential boyfriend. He was raised Muslim (although he no longer practices) has a disability that has left him unable to work, and my parents have stated that they do not want us to date.
They have said that they will not attend my wedding, or even approve of this relationship in general if it goes further than just being friends. They are very strict Catholic and already have an issue with me not following on with the faith as they do.
What I am afraid of is having to cut off contact completely with them, thus, losing my very close relationship with my parents, all because they do not approve of my boyfriend. This has been a very difficult decision for me because this guy and I connect both mentally and physically on a whole other level than past relationships. He is very sweet and caring and I don't want to give up the possibility of this being a good relationship all because he doesn't fit the mould of what my parents see as a suitable partner.
I would not even begin the relationship until after I moved out because they are still helping me out financially. Am I making the right choice? Should I follow what my parents want but possibly lose out on a potentially great relationship? Anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice? | ex-Catholic wanting to date ex-Muslim but parents do not approve of relationship because my friend is not Catholic, and has a disability that does not allow him to work a full time job. |
t3_3380yn | relationships | Me [22M] with work/dating balance issue | Ok, so basically
Since leaving university at the start of last year I haven't dated any girls or socialized with any girls outside my friendship group or at work (due to reasons to follow).
I work every weekday in my chosen career and will often be working late at night to keep up, but I also work 12 hour shifts as a bar tender at a different job on the weekend + til late friday (which I feel limits my ability to go out on those old Friday night benders).
I'm not really comfortable being single all the time, but I have partially accepted it.
Work colleague 1 (Jake) has said that I should join "tinder" (although he uses "Grindr", what ever that is)(I use my work related social media platforms but my personal ones are ill maintained).
Friend 1 (Sarah) has said to wait for a girl to ask me out (Feel like this could be bad advice, srsly never seen this happen{Impossibro})
Friend 2 (Greg) has said to organise dates near my flat on nights I am free and basically swap partners continuously. (I think this suits his life and could be fun but really it sounds pretty seedy)
Friend 3 (Tim) has stated that dating work colleagues is a recipe for disaster and I am inclined to agree with this theory. | Feel like my work is strangling chances of dating people, open to suggestions (online dating seems pretty not legit, am I too young for that?) |
t3_2ru93l | relationships | Me [22F] with my husband [27M] 4 years and counting, I need to know if I'm over reacting (So I can seek help) or if he's the problem. | Fisrt off I really really need someone from the outside looking in to tell me if I am being totally irrational because I can honestly say I don't know anymore.
Tonight, my husband and I had a fight. The context was we had decided to walk the dog together tonight. When I reminded him about this he told me he wasn't feeling well and that he didn't want to go for a walk. I rolled my eyes a bit and I admit I was condecending because he has a habit of doing such things. He cancelled our gym this morning because he wasnt feeling well. The two weeks prior to that I went for runs each night (because we were away from home and did not have access to our usual gym) and I invited him each time and he always came up with some excuse not to (i.e. sore shoulder, sore foot, 'dying' of hayfever) -that's just some background on why I acted condesending.
The arguement tonight went like this:
Me: By the time I get back from my walk it'll be dark.
Him: Not my problem.
Me: What does that mean?
Him: Nothing. Just go for your walk.
Me: Nah what does that mean? So what if I go for a walk?
Him: Fuck off. Go for your walk and fuck off. (etc etc)
After that I did go for my walk. It upset me because he doesn't usually speak to me like and made me feel quite worthless. But it's happening more often and now I don't know if maybe I annoy him too much? Do I have a right to be upset when this happens? Or should I just suck it up and get over it? I am so confused.
I realize this probably isn't that serious a situation but something like this happens every other day and I just want some answers. | My husband and I have arguements that confuse me. I would like your opinions on whether or not you think I'm over-reacting or if there's something I can change to better the situation? |
t3_46yus2 | Dogtraining | Dog picks up household items, shoes, etc parents keep baby gates throughout house now. HELP | My 16 month old pug/spaniel mix is a very affectionate, sweet hearted dog that I've had since she was a 14 week old pup. She's very bright and has learned sit, lay down, drop it, shake, and walks well on a leash. She gets about an hour or so of walking everyday with some sprints mixed in at the beach park (about 3.5 miles total). My problem is, she gets gated off to either the upstairs hall/my room, or, if I'm downstairs, the living room. She "cant" hang aline with my mom or dad because she grabs things (esp. Tissues napkins or socks/shoes) and will eat them or chew them, respectively. She also is an opportunist food thief. When with me, it's rarely an issue and even when we are all sitting together, she's generally good. I want to know any tips possible so she doesn't have to be confined and or can spend time alone with them while I'm home, or can roam around freely if we are all in different rooms. She's plenty exercised as in addition to the walks we also use 3 different puzzle toys, play fetch on the house, and she gets bones to chew or her favorite plush to snuggle. Ideas? Commemts? Thanks guys!!! | dog won't mind my parents, plays keep away and eats paper stuff. Gets baby gated off to small (ish) areas. Need help. |
t3_4kss5a | personalfinance | To refinance or not. Details inside. | I bought my first (new) car a little over a year ago. Being my first car, I got a pretty bad APR at 8.99%. I am in the process of looking to refinance my car. I got an offer through National Auto Loan Network for 2.49%
My current loan I have $14,253.12 owed. My payments are $320.06 and I've got 54 of them to go. Again it is at 8.99% APR.
The offer I've got from National Auto Loan Network looks like its got a lot of fees. I would put down another $7,000 on my loan so I thought I would be financed for the difference of my current loan. I currently owe $14,253.12 so I figured put down $7k I'd be financed for $7,253 however the paperwork NALN emailed me shows me being financed for $8761 with total payments of $9251.52. I've got a finance charge of $490 and a GAP fee of $800. Should I ditch the GAP fee? Are they giving me the run around? Any insight is greatly appreciated. | Current Loan: I owe $14,253.12 with payments of 320.06 for 54 more months at 8.99% APR |
t3_3tuld1 | relationships | How do I [20M] tell my girlfriend [20F] that I find myself tired and not enjoying our 1.5 year relationship? | So we've been seeing each other for a fair bit of time and I was her first serious boyfriend. However recently I've found myself wanting out as work and school begins to pile up and she gets rather more clingy.
She'll get angry and upset if I tell her I need some space to myself to do anything. She'll also be upset if I do not want to stay at her apartment for whatever reason. I just feel like I need a lot more space than she gives me and that this may not be the relationship I am looking for at this point in my life.
For full disclosure I've never claimed to be the best partner and perhaps I've been too blunt or distant but it's beginning to get to the stage where I dread having to spend time with her and it's not an enjoyable relationship for me.
A lot of this may just be down to me not wanting to continue this relationship as I feel its not going anywhere but then I feel like I'm being selfish. What do? | Not really wanting this kind of relationship at the moment, not sure what to do. Is there any way of dealing with this or should I try and get out on friendly terms? |
t3_10su3y | self | Reddit, How do you prepare yourself for the death of a loved one? | Tonight, I got a phone call from my father giving me every detail about how my grandfather is doing. He's been in the hospital for over two weeks now fighting multiple battles for various cancers. I guess some background information about everything that has been going on.
I know my grandfather is getting up there in age, he is 82. He went into the hospital because he was not able to keep any food down, come to find out his colon is completely blocked by a tumor. Once that was removed it was discovered that his back was completely covered in nodules, they removed some but not all of them. A week or so later, they find out he has prostate cancer, as well as Burkitt's lymphoma, which is a very aggressive cancer, they are currently trying to beat the lymphoma. Once he started chemo the port that they were using became infected. There are days when he is well and he is the man I have known for 20 years, then some days he can barely stay awake, or makes no sense in the things he says. He will try and start another round of chemo this 11th, but if he is to weak they will not let him on the treatment and he will just be made comfortable.
Reddit, the hardest part about this is that I'm 10 hours away from home. Trying to get through this semester at my university, the most my family wants is for me to work hard at school, but it's hard because all I can think about is how I can't be there with my family and go through every high and low with them, I'm basically waiting by the phone for call to come home. This would be the death of a close family member, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with this. Even now just writing this I have teared up.
So I would just like to know how to I guess prepare myself for when the time comes. | My grandfather is currently battling two forms of cancer and I don't think he will be around for much longer, how can I prepare myself. |
t3_e78pp | AskReddit | Is it just me, or does this seem like a childish of my roommate? | I was up late studying about 1-2 weeks ago, and ended up passing out on the couch, in the apartment I share with several other students. I woke up and went to classes, to return to the couch against the wall [like this] [with cushions at the time]. Fast forward to last night. I had pulled it out so that I could access the window, and when I replaced it, I thought it would make more sense to face outward. Tonight, I returned to the apartment, and the couch was not only put back facing the wall, but the cushions were removed. Am I the only one who thinks this is childish? | I accidentally fell asleep with shoes on at my apartment. Flatmate put couch facing wall and no cushions. Is that strange? |
t3_1mkv4a | relationships | My gf (F19) of two years has an okcupid account. I (m22) just found it. | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years. About a week ago we had a break where we were still together. She didn't say break and she said she loves me but she just needed time to find her self. She left to a friends house for 7 days.
I was dumbfounded and didn't see that coming at all. The first couple days she was just hangin with friends and didnt come home. On the third day I called her and talked to her. She said she was depressed and she just needed time. I said I missed her and wanted her to come back. After the fifth day I thought out relationship was done.
She ended up coming back home on the seventh day with new tats and new clothes and shit and said she feels way better after having that space. She said she loves me and wants us to be together. I was hurt still but we hooked up and I felt way better after that.
She stays home for a second day and I'm feeling better. We hang out a lil and it feels just like our old relationship. I woke up at 3 this morning to go to work and I checked her phone for the time. She had a new message from okcupid.
I freaked out and looked through her account. It looks like she started it the same day she came home and was saying she loved me and stuff. She also has herself listed as single. I see she is having multiple conversations with guys where she even initiated some. It looks like just small talk but Still.
I deleted the app and drove to work. I texted her saying how she should be a man and break up with me if she wants to meet new people instead of doing it behind my back like a coward.
She still hasn't woke up yet I'm guessing and I know what I should do.
I mainly just wanted to vent. Anyone been through something similar? | girlfriend needed space. She spent a week at a friends house. She comes back saying she loves me an I find out after a couple of days she has an okcupid account and have been talking to Guys. |
t3_it0kp | AskReddit | I am about to offer someone a job, but I just found out he is an VERY active Redditor. Should I still hire him? | I'm interviewing this guy for a job and the everyone on my team really likes him. Seemed really smart, works in the niche field that we need some expert help in. We want to move forward, so I'm talking to my VP this week about what his offer should look like.
However, this weekend he added me to his Circles on Google+, and I, seeing him as someone soon to join our team, added him to mine (the Coworker circle, of course). I decided to take a quick peek at his stream, and discovered that he is an assumed Redditor. I say assumed because almost all of his posts were from top links of the day of r/funny, r/pics, and a few other subreddits. Yeah, I'll post some funny things I find on Reddit on FB or G+, but damn this guy posted ALL THE TIME, and mostly during work hours. He was commenting immediately after one of his friends commented, showing me that he's either getting updated to his phone and going to the site right away, or he's hanging out on the G+ site continually. Yeah, this maybe wouldn't stress me out but he's currently working, so I'm afraid he'll slack off at work here too (and we're a skeleton crew so we can't have that). And we all know how hard that Reddit addiction can be to break. I've got mad love for the Reddit community, but this could be a little too much non-work related stuff during work hours.
So should I hire this guy or not? | About to hire a guy, he adds me on G+, and posts Reddit stuff on there all the time during work hours. Hire him or not? |
t3_2p10oz | tifu | TIFU By trying to take a picture of a girls ass in gym | So today during gym class, there was this one girl who had what could be considered leggings more than yoga pants because when ever she bent any direction you could see her thong.
Smart me, thinking, "oh hey, that's a nice ass I could take a picture of and use it later," decided to whip out my phone and since it was an iPhone, I could sneakily snap a nice picture of her while she was stretching.
Regardless, that was perverted but I'm a horny teen so I decided to try anyways. So the perfect moment came, and I decided to hold my phone against my stomach and use the volume button to snap the picture.
Stupid fucking me left the flash on from last night while I was Snapchatting my friend.
She turned around and everyone just stared, my heart sank into a fucking pit, I mean literally, I thought I was dying. Every second felt like a year, I tried pulling off the whole, "I have it as my text message notification." But one of my friends just texted me and everyone heard the ringtone and god, I swear I looked as red as a fucking tomato.
The teacher asked what happened and I ended up going to the office and long story short, I got suspended for a week until further notice.
I am not sure about further investigation, but it looks like I have to delete the other pictures I've took. I don't know what's going to happen but the girl seemed pretty disgusted and I might be taken out of the class to prevent her from feeling harassed. | TIFU by taking picture of an awesome ass, and got suspended for harassment, will update when I find out what happens next. |
t3_2ymw3c | tifu | TIFU by splitting my bra into two pieces. | Well reddit. I gotta say, I think I fucked up enough to finally make a post.
It all started this weekend. When I had the bright idea to wear a "close-to-breaking" bra. Now when I say this, I don't mean a tiny hole. I mean the middle part where the two cups connect the string was barely holding on and under quite the tension. With my body type, that bra was BOUND to break. But I shluffed it off, because I had worn it many many times with no problem.
But lets fast forward, shall we? I was at my s/o's house and whilst we were doing some...activities, I hear a sudden *snap*. I feel really free and loose. So I look down to find that my bra had ripped in half. So what happens? My s/o rips the back of my bra and we continue. No big deal. So I stashed it under his pillow for a little souvenir, since it would be worthless to me otherwise.
Although I thought the end of this silly adventure would be going to a restaurant with him bra less, (which was amazing, I advise it to others) I was wrong.
And that's how we get to tonight.
After spending our anniversary tonight together at my place, he tells me something after he gets home. His mom decided to do the laundry while he was gone. At first I didn't see the connection, but then it hit me. She had washed his bed sheets. Thus leading her to uncover my bra. They had a little talk and needless to say this is a little fuck up. I am a little anxious as to the next time I will see her...oh well. | I wore a faulty bra to my s/o's and it broke so I left it at his place and his mom accidentally uncovered it |
t3_3rcon6 | relationships | I [29M] am very attracted to a new coworker [27F] and feel bad about it because of my wife [29F] | Hey guys,
This is kind of embarrassing for me but I've got no one else to talk about it without my wife finding out, so I'll just do this right here.
We got a new female coworker in our office since june. She's a nice person and a competent colleague, so I didn't mind her a lot the first few weeks. Then one day when we went to a lunch break and she joined us I noticed myself staring at her. She always wears very tight and thinly layered clothes, so you basically see her figure perfectly. She's very petite but has a shapely butt, big breasts and a very nice face kind of reminiscent of Zooey Deschanel.
At that day I actually got an erection unwillingly while she walked around the office and felt kind of embarrassed because that hasn't happened to me since puberty. I also felt bad because my wife, while I am very attracted to her physically, never caused me to get an erection simply by walking by and doing work in the office. This happens to this day when I see her, sometimes even multiple times a day.
This hasn't changed anything about my feelings towards my wife - I still find her very attractive and nothing in our sexual life has changed since my new coworker started. I actually don't think a lot about my coworker when I'm not in the office, it just kind of bothers me that I have such a strong reaction to her physically.
So my question is - did you experience something similar and should I feel bad because of it? And can I make it stop or is it something I'll just have to get used to? | I find a coworker very attractive and get involuntary erections because of her presence. Should I feel bad because of it and how could I make it stop? |
t3_s8quk | AskReddit | Am I mistreating this dog? | I want to say first and foremost, that I don't want to be, just not sure how to care for a small dog.
Alright, so first off, it's my aunt's dog, and I'm looking after it for a few days. It's a chihuahua, and I think I remember her saying it had a problem with abuse in the past, not 100% on it, though. She's living with us, and had to leave for the weekend, and I'm the only one here, so I'm looking after it.
It mostly said under my aunt's bed, which I was fine with until I had to take it out to use the bathroom. It wouldn't come out, so I reached in for it. It snapped and growled, and I backed off for a while, threw some food to it, and let it cool off. I came back, and tried the same thing. Same reaction, but this time it bit me which pissed me off. I'm not exactly proud of my handling of the situation from there, but suffice it to say that I came out on top of it, and neither of us felt friendly towards the other. This was all took place last night.
This morning, I locked it out of her room, so it's sat in the hallway of her room, not eating or anything. When I approach it with a leash, it growl and snaps at me. I don't want to be an asshole to this dog, but it's leaving me little choice. Any tips on handling this situation? | Watching my Aunt's dog for a few days, have to be a dick to it to get it to do anything, need tips on handling small dogs. |
t3_jmjik | relationship_advice | I don't understand my girlfriend's point of view on moving in, can someone clarify for me? | I make a total about 1200 a month. My parents only charge me less than 200 dollars a month and its just for my bills. I'm sure my parents with enough convincing would allow her to spend 6 months with me until she's sent off into the navy and make me pay the rent. Her living situation is rough, shes forced to work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day and gets paid only 200-300 bucks at the end of the week. She's provided transportation with this as well. (Her controlling dad's business and truck she gets to drive.) If she moves in with me, she loses the truck and her job. However, she can get another job but transportation would be troubling. She never gets any sleep, she's always complaining about how stressful her life is and I try to tell her that she'll be more comfortable moving in with me because its not that hard for us to share a room and not as stressful. Once in the past she ran away and moved in with one of my friends, she felt comfortable living with him and didn't have too many complaints. When I talked to her about moving in with my parents and I she tells me that she'd feel uncomfortable taking a shower because its across the house when she could get dressed in the bathroom. This is before we were dating, and it doesn't have anything to do with her feeling uncomfortable moving in with me, we've discussed moving out before easily. My friend also tried to hint sex at her, and she denied but nontheless still stayed there. So I ask you reddit, WHY THE HELL WILL SHE NOT TAKE A BETTER LIFESTYLE FOR 6 MONTHS? Also did I mention my parents get along with her very well? Deep talks and all. | Girlfriend felt comfortable living with my friend who hinted sex but when it comes to moving in with my parents she feels like she wouldn't belong here. |
t3_3cuh9i | legaladvice | Mom let a BF use a rental car for a couple days after she left. It wasn't returned. Now she's on the hook. What should I tell her to do? | My mom, being overly generous and trusting, let her boyfriend use a rental car based out of Ft. Collins CO to get his liscense and finish up a couple things. The guy basically freaked out on my mom and stopped (rationally) communicating and wouldn't return the car. My mom tried pleading with him to return it and he said he put it in an exterior parking lot(not at the rental company). She hired a PI to try and find it. Apparently one of the exterior parking lot companies finally found it(about a week later) but when the tow truck went to get it, the vehicle was gone. Nothing has changed now, except she has tried to report it stolen with the rental agency. They told her to go to the police which have been bouncing her around from different agencies. Now since it has been a month, I guess there is going to be a civil suit from the rental agency. What should I advise her? She is pretty embarrassed by the whole thing and isn't thinking super rationally. | Mom trusted shady guy with rental car in her name. It wasn't returned and guy isn't helping. She appears to be on the hook. |
t3_14r4s2 | AskReddit | what was something insignificant that made you made when it shouldn't | so today is 12,12,12, and i thought it would be interesting to see when it was 12:12:12 12,12,12, since i probably won't live to see the next one. i decided to go on a website and watch the countdown of the last minute or so with my friend. but then some jerks comes from behind me and shuts off my computer a few seconds before the time, i quickly grabbed my friends computer and went back on the website, but i missed it by 10 seconds. i know i shouldn't be mad at something that only lasted a second, but it worsened my mood for the rest of the day. | waiting for 12:12:12 12,12,12 on countdown, then jerks shuts it off while i wasn't paying attention. |
t3_1wwq07 | loseit | Fluctuating weight and lacking motivation. | So about 4 years ago, I was 105lbs at 5'3. I started taking Paxil in 2009 and by Christmas of 2013, I was 150lbs. My GW as of today is 130lbs, my CW is 139lbs.
I noticed my weight fluctuates - a lot. I was excited to be 136lbs about a week or 2 ago, but as of yesterday, I'm back to 139.
I exercise about 3 times a week for two hours (I've been doing Muay Thai for about 1.5 years). When my weight goes back up, I find my motivation goes down.
I try to limit carbs, though I don't deny myself of a piece of toast or pasta, if that's what I really want. I try to keep my diet high in good fats and protein (nuts, avocados, eggs, meat, etc). I try really hard not to snack, and pick have a fruit or veggie if I'm really hungry. I tried counting calories but I would become OBSESSED with what I was eating, why I shouldn't eat certain things, etc... So I don't let myself do that any more. | I apologize for the long post, but I could really use advice or tips for how you stay motivated when your weight is fluctuating. |
t3_2kjoxa | relationships | Everytime I [23, F] try to bring up the subject of when we will have kids with my fiancé [22, M] he kind of brushes it off and leaves me confused. I want to feel better about this before we get married. Am I wrong for wanting a more precise answer? | First off, let me start off by saying I KNOW we are young. I know it would not be smart to have a baby anytime soon.
We talk about babies and having a family and names on a somewhat regular basis. We are getting married in a couple of months and I just can't shake this thought in my head lately. Everytime I try to bring up maybe wanting to know around when we might have a baby, my fiancé assures me it won't be a super long time and tells me everything will work out. I know he wants kids eventually too but I feel like this is something I want to be more comfortable knowing before we commit to each other. I don't really know if I should even bring it up again, or if I should even be thinking about this since I'm pretty young. What do you think r/relationships? I'm scared of not knowing when, what if he changes his mind? How do I bring this up? | I want a somewhat more precise time of when we are having kids before we get married. It's a really important deal to me but my fiancé always brushes the subject away and I'm left feeling confused and worried. |
t3_1gf9k8 | AskReddit | Just Live Chat with Bell Canada had a big Privacy Issue and very Poor service... How to get the most from them ? | Ok so my girlfriend has a iPhone 4 but want to change it for a Android. I wanted to know if its possible to know her Phone Balance (not her Monthly Bill). I don't even know if they can provide that information.
First time I ask the Customer Support, if it would be possible to know that information as she's my girlfriend.
It took about 10-15mins to merely reply two-three times. I gave all the account informations in my first question. Didn't give me any infos, told me wait and then he disconnected... WORST : He was writing in COMIC SANS (no joke).
Anyway, second time. I'll try to ask as if i'm the account owner. I don't think it will work but let's try.
For security reason he ask my full name. I provide my girlfriend full name. Then he ask for my cellphone Brand. I say Apple. From there I could change every possible options in the account (from adding all the options to upgrade phone and etc.) Wow... I can do that for all my friends / family right now. This is really scary.
She now gave me her Bill Balance (lets say 60$), but I wanted her Phone Balance (Phone cost remaining to pay). After explaining her multiple time what I wanted to do exactly she got it and said : Oh you want the cancellation Fee.
(Well I don't want to cancel the contract, I just want to change the phone but let's say I want to cancel)
So she says its 60$ + Balance...
(Nice only 60$, i'll pay it for her)
I ask what's is her Balance.
Reply 15min later : Oh... I made a mistake its 250$ + 60$
WTF... | Crappy support, overprice cancellation fee even if I don't want to cancel, wrong informations and very weak Privacy... Should I do something about that? |
t3_3ad73m | relationships | Fiance (36M) has a "low sex drive". I (33F) have a much higher drive and this is affecting my self esteem and our relationship. | Sorry, this is a little long. I'm unsure how to handle this anymore. We've been together for 3 years (engaged almost a year) and I love him more than anything in the world. However, our sex life is pretty sparse and lackluster. I would ideally like to have sex at least 3 times a week. I also enjoy passion, flirting, foreplay, excitement, etc. I don't receive this...ever. I'm very lucky if we have sex once every week or two.
When we do have sex 98% of the effort is supplied by me. No kissing or foreplay of any kind. I ALWAYS start him out with a hand AND blowjob and then he'll just climb on top. It's humiliating to me when we have to use lube, but I never get the option to get turned on.
I've brought up it up over the years and don't get much of a change. He'll put in some effort usually once or twice after I bring it up and then it goes right back to "normal". He has the potential for mind blowing sex and earth shattering oral skills. I've seen it on occasion over the years. It makes me feel like it's me. I'm so self conscious now and I never used to be. Does he find me repulsive? Can he not even stand me enough to lay a finger on me or care about my pleasure and how I feel? Is he just this lazy and selfish?
I've mentioned my thoughts and feelings to him several times and he assures me that it's nothing like that. He simply says his sex drive is lower than mine and sex isn't as important to him. However, I also know he watches porn and pics of naked chicks online.
I'm tired of going through so many batteries and having to hide or wait for him to go to sleep in order to please myself. I'm confused and could use some advice and opinions. Thank you! | My fiance doesn't care as much about sex as I do. It's seldom, selfish (not on my part) and lackluster when had. This is running my self esteem and my relationship with him. Need advice! |
t3_4xavfb | Advice | At a career crossroad. What would you do? | I currently work as a salesman, I'm very good at what I do. My supervisor plays favorites and allows some sales people he used to work with at his previous job to get away with things that he doesn't allow the rest of the floor to get away with. I started looking for another job after confronting him with this after he wrote me up. (I'm in an inbound sales environment and apparently we aren't allowed to source our own leads, I got written up for sourcing leads. Which another rep does all the time and has yet to have had any disciplinary action). I went to HR and HR was not helpful. So the other day I got a call from a recruiter and my director happened to over hear me confirming an interview. He doesn't want me to leave and we had a talk about the issues and what I want to do, but I feel like it is one of those things where they don't want me to leave, but are not going to do anything to further my career. He's made some time to meet with me and talk about my goals and how to get there, but I'm not sure it will come to fruition. On the other hand, I have an opportunity which in the grand scheme of things is not a step up position wise, but as for pay it is, plus I will have a fixed schedule, but I have to start over trying to move up to management. My question is should I give my director the time of day to try to save me or should I take a leap of faith with a new company? | My job is full of drama and I'm considering leaving, director caught wind of it and is trying to entice me to stay. Should I give him the chance or just let it go? |
t3_283fku | relationships | Me [19 M] with my _gf__ [19 F] dating since january/2014 (current), i'm having doubts with her... | Everything started good between us the two of us, I met her in a
website; at that time having a relationship is not even in my mind yet
though as time passes, I started to fall for her then that's the time
we started dating.
I'm having doubts with her because she deleted me as her friend in facebook and instagram, and told me she wasn't able to use her fb account due to something is going on etc. though she said she didn't do it, because at that time my trust is still with her so i didn't bother about the matter. after weeks there is a guy who she knows post something fishy, (the site the guy posted in was the website where we met).
now i checked on the guy on facebook and saw a picture with her name tagged in it, though i can't see it clearly because it's just a silhouette of a boy and a girl kissing on the beach but i can clearly tell that it's the guy my gf knows.
I'm really confused now... and I don't know what to do. I like her so much but it really ruins me whenever things are like this between us.
I need an advice of how could I let her spill the truth, and yeah she told me she's not that girl in the picture, what she had told me is that it's a friend of her, but i find it unconvincing.
sorry for my bad english. hope to get a reply as soon as possible, can't really take this bad feeling anymore. I love her and still want her but hoping what to do best... | i think she is hiding something from me and won't spill the truth, she does give some alibis but i find it unconvincing. |
t3_2quzwb | tifu | TIFU by trying to comfort a girl on the phone late at night | So this story begins when a girl who has friend zoned the crap out of me calls late at night stressed out. We have a really nice conversation and everything is great until we both get really tired. Now I like this girl so hearing her tired voice was really nice and I fall asleep. Apparently my breathing is really comforting too. So the next day I wake up thinking about how great the convo was and THE CALL IS STILL GOING. Six hours, five minutes, and thirty seven seconds on the phone made my phone bill shoot through the roof and, as a student, this is one hell of a problem. The best part? I'm officially "the greatest older brother she's never had." | Comforted a girl on the phone late at night and fell asleep, got a huge phone bill and even further friend zoned. |
t3_4ksbkf | relationships | My[22F] boyfriend [20M] has never given me an orgasm and I've been lying about it. | I have been sexually involved with the same guy for 1.5 years now, and he has never given me an orgasm.
First off let me start by saying that I have had sex with 3 different partners, none of which have ever given me an orgasm either. I have lied to each of these partners in saying that I have had orgasms through sex simply to keep the peace. I enjoy sex just fine without orgasms, and it still feels great, so I've kinda of kept my mouth shut to make things smoother (in my mind).
I am posting here because while sex with my current boyfriend is usually great, we're experiencing some difficulty. I am not as wet as I have been in the past, sex is beginning to be slightly painful, and honestly I have to force myself to want to have sex, despite still being very attracted to him. I have seen my gyno and I am on estrogen cream, but it hasn't fully helped the problem. Basically, I'm wondering if having actual orgasms during sex would help sex feel like less of a chore. However, that would involve confessing to him that I have been lying for almost 2 years about my satisfaction, and I fear it will emasculate him.
I know I should've never lied in the first place, but I know how it feels to not be able to make someone orgasm, and it feels pretty bad. I don't want to make him feel like that, but I fear sex is going to be something I dread. However, I don't have a guarantee he will be able to ever make me orgasm either. I don't really know what to do.
Also, I have given myself orgasms before through clitoral stimulation, so I know I can have at least some orgasms. | Never had an orgasm during sex, sex is now becoming a chore, don't know if I should confess to my boyfriend that I have been lying to him for 1.5 years and risk him feeling emasculated. |
t3_4uru7e | Advice | I [M/28] am not very close to my mother and would like to change that, but I'm not really sure how. | My dad died at age 12 and I never really got to know him. I'd like to prevent the same from happening with my mom.
The problem is, we're not close at all (to the point of near-awkward silences on occasion). After my dad died, I spent the rest of my teen years withdrawn and depressed, and then at age 18 I moved cities and haven't really gone back to my hometown that often...it's small and there isn't much to do. As a result I never really had a chance to get close with my mom, and now I feel bad, because I *love* her...but I almost dread spending time with her.
In addition to living in a small town, she doesn't really have many hobbies - she reads, watches TV, plays stuff like CandyCrush, and browses Facebook, and that's about it. Any time I see her, it takes us about five minutes to catch up and then we usually end up watching bad sitcoms in silence.
I'm kinda stumped. We just...don't have anything to say to one another. We don't reminisce (partly because there's some painful stuff in our family past and we've never been good about discussing heavy stuff). We don't really make jokes or anything - things never feel very casual or lighthearted. And we're not really a drinking family, so we don't have alcohol to loosen things up. I'd be 100% happy to feign interest in her hobbies if she had any to speak of, but that's not even an option.
Does anyone have advice? The same post could pretty much apply to my sister and brother who live in the same town...I'm just stumped. I care about these people immensely, I just don't know how to bond with them.
Thanks! | I'd like a closer relationship with my mom but our relationship is stilted and she truthfully isn't giving me much to work with. |
t3_3q6bnm | relationships | Im [21 F] worried things are moving too fast with my boyfriend [28 M] | I've been with my boyfriend for about a month now. Things have been pretty good, though given the circumstances things have been moving pretty fast.
We met when I joined a 6 piece band and he was one of the members. The band has been around for a while and has been pretty successful. We were in the middle of touring and there was definitely a lot of sexual tension between him and I. He was very flirty with me but I was insistent that nothing could happen because we were bandmates and this needed to be a professional relationship.
Well the one night we went to the bar to play trivia and against all better judgement I kissed him. We ended up having sex that night back at the band house and apparently someone caught on and started a lot of drama over it, freaking out and trying to fight him. The band pretty much broke up and he asked me if I wanted to go back to the city he's from with him. It was impulsive but we took the tour van, packed up our gear, and drove 1200 miles.
So here I am halfway across the country and we're looking for an apartment together right now while staying at his dad's. I can't help but feel like the fact that he's willing to move with a girl he barely knows that's 7 years younger should probably be a red flag, but I'm oddly okay with it because my small town has nothing to offer me and the risk of it all is a bit thrilling. Someone talk some sense into me. | eloped across the country with my former bandmate who is a lot older than me and I feel like how fast things are moving should be a red flag to me. Thoughts? |
t3_3vm7v4 | dating_advice | Not sure if I should meet her, and I feel like an idiot | A few weeks before, I began to talk to a girl. (This community where I talk to people online is not escpecially about dating, there are people who just hang out there, having conversations, and this is why I went there in the first place).
But then I met a girl. After a few weeks she asked me to meet her, but at this point I saw too many red flags, and I told her I'm not sure if I want to. She told me it's fine, we can just talk, and I can think about it.
But I realized I liked her, and that I was really scared meeting her, because I gained weight in the last year. I sent her some (new) photos trying to eliminate my fear a little bit. She reacted positively. I told her about my fears that I might actually want to meet, but I am really scared at this point because of my look (the photos didn't include all of my body, the angle was good, etc.), I also told her I'm not sure how much she/we can wait, before communicating online gets dull. She told me that I have time, and she considers me a friend, so I shouldn't be afraid.
But that's the thing – I feel she is way colder and less interested now. Maybe because of the photos, maybe because worrying about these things is a really big turn-off. Yes, I know it is.
But I hate myself at the moment. I am terrified of her seeing me, and feeling myself stupid. I really try to find reasons why it would be actually okay if I wouldn't meet her (she lives quite far), but I just feel like a scared idiot who wants to choose the easier path.
I started playing sports and eating healthy before this story, so I'm trying to lose weight, and I see little changes from time to time. But feeling good again, and looking good again would take months at least, and I feel our conversations are now worse and worse, so maybe I don't have this few months.
Do you guys have any advice? | A girl I like wants to meet with me, but I am fat at the moment, and I'm too afraid meeting her. |
t3_ydxff | relationships | When should this shit end? | here's the basics: together 5 years now, me 26 her 35, one kid, one more on the way, no sex life (in years, the 'one more on the way' was from the *only time* we had sex in the last year, and it was terrible unpassionate "have we come yet" grunting. Too late for abortion, neither of us wanted that at the time anyway. I cheated on her once emotionally and got caught, she had trust issues to start, we thought we'd work through it... fuck it. it's a terrible relationship. there have been great bits, but overall my memories of it are terrible.
Is there anyone here who would bother to salvage this, even for the sake of the kids? | We fight constantly and hate each other, is it worth the effort to get back to loving each other, even for the sake of the kids? |
t3_11s6jl | relationship_advice | [18m] Something that has always been in my head about my girlfriend's past [18f] | Ok so a little background info. Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for about 5 months. We are in a very happy relationship and we always work out our disputes no matter what they are about. We take things slow for the reason that I'm new to a serious relationship.
Now here is where I have a few things that I just can't shake from my mind. Now I, for all my life, have never drank, never smoked, never done drugs, never had sex, I never did any of that. She has done some of the things described above such as smoking, smoked pot, had sex, drank, all of that. She stopped all of it shortly after we became a couple. Now fast-forward to now where we are still in a healthy relationship and nothing has changed, only now I have these sort of thoughts every so often that dominate my mind no matter what I'm doing. They're thoughts of all the things she used to do and just imagining seeing her doing them. I'm a really sensitive guy so these things bother me greatly. They pass after about 20 minutes when either I talk it through with her or I get distracted by something my roommate needs. On a few rare occasions I have dreams depicting these thoughts and I wake up upset. I do share these thoughts and dreams with her but she gets upset over it as well.
What I'm asking from you all on reddit is if any of you could lend me a helping hand in giving me some advice on how to deal with these thoughts. They clog my mind a lot and its not enough to just say "get over it and be a man" cause it just doesn't work. Also, moving on to another girl isn't an option either because I don't want to leave her. Any help would be helpful. Thanks. | My girlfriend used to do bad things that I don't do and the thoughts of her doing them haunt me all the time. How can I get rid of or get over them? |
t3_50bdmr | relationships | [24M] needs advice with ex [25F] | So we dated for two and a half ears I straight up thought she was the one she was everything I ever wanted it wasn't just physical it was mental as well. We would fight from time to time of course like every couple does, I gave her my all I would work long hours to help support her she bounced from job to job she didn't have a lot of money and when she needed help I helped her out car payment, car insurance,cell phone bill and a few vacations (Disney, North Carolina, Tennessee) last January I was moving into my own place and she expected a key automatically I was scared and didn't give her one, something happened on Valentine's Day and she left my house crying, I tried to win her back and gain her trust back and she started to trust me again I would drive an hour to see her every week at school to go out to dinner or go shopping for groceries for her I never asked for much she asked for a lot. We would go out to dinner on the weekends and I would pay then she would leave after not offer to hangout etc, I would never ask for anything in return I just wanted to see her happy. 4th of July came about and we got into a fight at a bar (not physical) some things were said and I felt so bad about all of it. I finally had the guts to text her a few days ago and she said she doesn't want to talk to me and I hurt her too bad and she's broken but we continued to talk told her I loved her still etc then she stopped answering. I miss her and I don't know what I do at this point, I lost someone that meant the world too me. | dated a girl for two years I did everything I could to support her I screwed up and wish I could win her back any advice would be helpful. |
t3_1haueq | relationships | Is he [28M] giving me [21F] subtle hints? | 28M and I 21f have been together 5 months. He is preparing for war and is away a lot. In the last month he has: flirted outrageously with other women, made jokes along the lines of we're only together because I won't leave and, after coming back from sea, is going to bend over backwards to go to his friend's party, probably without me. He hasn't gone to bed with me except for sex, after which he hops out. All the while he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me long term, and that I'm the most beautiful and amazing woman he's ever met.
Is he trying to tell me he wants me to leave or does he just not realise he's being a dick? | he treats me not that well but tells me he loves me. Do you think he wants to be with me or not? |
t3_kp7nc | AskReddit | Is cheating really that unforgivable? | i'm in a serious, seriously awesome relationship with my boyfriend. he's not the type that has wandering eyes (usually i'm the one who points out hot girls to him) and he's very devoted and faithful to me and never given me cause to suspect that he's cheated. yet i find myself in a very lonely minority when i tell my friends that if i found out he did cheat on me, i wouldn't necessarily break up with him.
here's why: people cheat for different reasons. some do it because they're assholes, some do it because they're dissatisfied with their relationship, and some do it because they got drunk and had a lapse of judgment. i honestly think that the latter case is something that can be worked through so long as it's not a pattern and the offending party regrets it. no matter how great and committed your relationship is, you and your partner both make mistakes and then try to learn from them and move on. if i found out my boyfriend got drunk at a bachelor party and hooked up with some girl, i would be furious and sad and i'd probably throw up, but i wouldn't throw away everything great that we have because he fucked up once. and in all honesty, i hope that he would have the same attitude towards me (he doesn't and has always said if i cheat, it's over). i like to think i'm strong enough to resist temptation, but the truth is, i get a lot of attention from men, i'm social and a flirt, and i've been in positions before where if i wasn't as strong as i am and if i wasn't a champion of self-control, i might have let things escalate with another guy. some people just aren't very sexual creatures and don't have to struggle with monogamy; for someone like me, temptations surround me, chemistry is everywhere, the spark between people is undeniable and i understand why people falter in the heat of the moment. | if your partner cheats on you in a moment of weakness, is breaking up really always the right thing to do? |
t3_1crl5g | relationships | I (F25) have a huge crush on friend (M27). But he's sworn off love after being cheated on two years ago. | Throwaway account!
A few months ago, I (F25) met a guy (M27) through mutual friends. He hangs out in our group all the time now. He's really handsome, smart, funny, and sweet. He's a *really* great catch. However, he's completely sworn off love. I mean completely. This means no sex, flirting, relationships, etc.
Our friend told me that his ex girlfriend of two years cheated on him, thus ripping his heart out, which resulted in his current lifestyle.
Everyone knows he's single but most don't know why, which means women hit on him an awful lot when we go out to bars/restaurants. He kindly rejects each and every one of them, even the really pretty ones. Which I'll admit, makes him even more desirable in my eyes.
It actually kind of makes me sad because his ex must've meant an awful lot to him. I took a peek at her Facebook page and she's an absolute stunner. I'm *certainly not* as gorgeous as her. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty but compared to her, I'm just the girl next door.
I really feel like him and I have a connection. He's definitely warmed up to me over the last couple of months and we regularly see each other. Plus, it seems like I'm slowly gaining his trust. Normally, I'm a very confident girl but when it comes to him, I'm not. I've watched countless pretty, confident women approach him and get rejected, so what makes me so special?
Sorry this is so long-winded. I suppose I'm just looking for advice on what to do here. Here's this perfect single man (in my eyes) right in front of me and he's checked out. I've been waiting so long to meet a guy like him. Do I try to push things little by little towards a romantic relationship?
Thank you, Reddit. <3 | I (F25) really, really like a friend of mine (M27) but he seems untouchable. I need guidance. |
t3_32niqt | running | How do I quickly ramp-up to a marathon after (forced) time off? | I broke my collarbone this time last week, by crashing my bike on one of my final mega training rides, for Ironman Australia (first time), in three weeks time. FML.
I'm out of action for about six weeks. I'm also booked in for the Gold Coast Marathon six weeks after that, which I originally thought was a dumb idea to go ahead with, but toying with it now. My legs are fine, well,; the stitches in the knee are an issue, but they'll be gone soon. All the info I found online about coming back after injury related to actual running injuries.
My thoughts are: If I started straight back into long runs of 12/15/21/26/32 km on successive weeks, then 2 weeks of taper, would I likely to be okay for the race or would that be a high chance of injury? (Would take it very easy on the speedwork.)
Background: I've been running seriously for over 2 years now, and have done a road marathon, a trail marathon amongst other races. Was doing about 40km/wk in the leadup to IM, was previously up to 70 before cycling took over all the time. | Is six weeks of running, after a forced six weeks of none, going to be enough to run a marathon without injuring myself? |
t3_2q2ukl | running | Connection between shoelace knot and injury on top of foot? | *Background* I've been dealing with an injury since my last marathon 18 months ago (bone spur caused a stress fracture between my first metatarsal and philange). Things have been a little better lately, I've been pushing it doing insanity and I'm up to running twice a week for 30-40 minutes (my average back at full health right before the marathon was 30 miles/week, usually sub 8 minute miles) and some new shoes have helped a lot in terms of how painful the injury gets (it never seems to get worse than it was last month, last, week, last year etc. only better!).
**Problem** BUT I've noticed that the way I lace my shoes, as I work out, the knot always seems to slide over to the inner part of my shoe, such that my laces are tied almost directly above my injury. I theorize that this may be a hindrance to recovery, or could have been an initial cause to the injury. Is there a way to tie my laces to stop the knot from sliding to that side of my shoe or is that totally normal and unpreventable?
*Visuals* I usually do the lace style listed on this blog under the sub-head "PROBLEM: Heel-slipping"
and I'm fairly new to reddit/have never used imgur before but I tried to upload an image of where the knot slides to for a visual, let me know if it didn't work.
Also, I'm 23, female, 5'10", size 10 1/2 running shoes, history of ankle problems, run in Asics for the support, and I tie my laces bunny ear style if any of that information makes a difference. Can provide more details on the injury if necessary, but I've already rambled long enough and it's a long, sad, complicated year and a half old story (though if you have inspirational stories of coming back from long injuries, I LOVE hearing those :) or a simple "you're 23, your body will recover just fine" is also nice to hear!) | How do I tie my laces such that the knot sliding to the inside of my shoe doesn't exacerbate a long term injury on the top of my foot? Thank you! |
t3_2zpike | relationships | [20 M] Losing interest in my girlfriend [20 F] of 6 weeks | So I started dating this girl about 6 weeks ago, I have never been with a girl for this long (not much I know). I'm not sure if I rushed things just because I wanted a girlfriend, she's cute, nice and I was sure we had plenty in common.
The trouble is, in the past week, I've realized we don't have much in common. We like different music, different movies, have different study interests. She also isn't studying or working and she kinda makes fun of me whenever I go to bed early, knowing that I go to university everyday and play different sports, which probably bugs me more than it should.
We don't really do much, I took her to a restaurant and we went out with other people a few times but, if it's us two, we usually just have a beer and head back to my place. Also we hardly have anything to talk about so conversations are getting boring.
I think it's pretty clear I'm losing interest but I can tell she isn't. The only thing we do together, that we both enjoy, is have sex, but I would feel like an asshole if kept the relationship going just for that.
I'm pretty sure I want to break up with her but I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her angry, she didn't do anything bad.
I'm not sure how to end this, I have never been the one that breaks up and I don't want to seem like a jerk. | Losing connection with girlfriend who still likes me and want to end it without looking like a jerk. How do I do it? |
t3_30pk85 | relationships | Serious | Not sure this will help but here goes.
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost a year. We have known each other for almost 5 now. Our relationship is great we get along and like similar things but we are different enough that we are able to have our space.
The only grip I have is emotionally she is detached quite a bit. But it's confusing. We have had talks before and she says that she can't feel for the longest time. She is 27 and she has had her issues from when she was young. For tough things she had to go through. Things that shouldn't have happen to a kid also being told she was not wanted that may contributed to her pushing down feelings.
It seems like she does feel she smiles, laughs, gets angry and worried. But when it comes to us it like she has a hard time expressing love but I know she cares about me. She doesn't get jealous which is great but at the same time it leaves me very feeling unwanted at times.
As we were getting together it seems like she was coming out of her shell starting to feel again saying that she wasn't sure what was happening but she could tell something is happening but is unsure what when she is with me. Then all of a sudden she went AWOL a week before Christmas 2014 which had me worry cause she was not responding to any texts or calls I made which she is good at getting back to people. It's like she snapped.
All the progress that was made with her coming out of her she got erased and now she is unsure how she feels toward me. I'm trying to stick it out and an idiot who
It feels like emotionally she is a kid but stuck in an adults body. | girlfriend is emotionally detached because of early upbringing and boyfriend is growing increasing disheartened that he can't help and its wearing me down leaving me questioning our relationship. |
t3_hdhqr | AskReddit | Any tips on pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who's married? (long story behind this, throwaway) | Ok so I've known this girl for over nine years now (since I was 14; I'm 22 now). We consider each other best friends. Over the years, we've done a lot of shopping together, with about tens of thousands of dollars of my money going to her as clothes, gifts, electronics, etc. I started talking to her online, and I didn't actually meet her until 2 years ago when we hung out for 3 days. I haven't actually physically been with her since.
She's planning on getting married to this guy she met a few months ago. She told me that he talked to her dad and he's okay with it so in a few months they're getting married.
We still like each other very much but she says she's not interested in me romantically. When I confronted her she told me it's because I'm far away (opposite sides of the United States). My plan is to move near her to be able to hang out with her more... but she'll be married by then.
Anyone here have experience in this? I've never been with any other girl so I don't really know what to expect. She gave me a hug when we did hang out, which is the most a non-relative girl has ever done to me.
I don't mind that she's getting married as long as I still get to hang out with her. But basically, my biggest questions are: what do I need to do at this point to maintain our relationship? Should I continue making advances or should I just leave it where it is? Because I would very much like to marry her. Also, should this stay a secret from her husband or should I tell him? | How would you feel if your wife told you that there's this guy she's known for over nine years and has spent tens of thousands of dollars on her is interested in hanging out with her? |
t3_2roytb | tifu | TIFU by not replacing a light bulb and as a result getting detained by a detective at gunpoint under suspicion of kidnapping. | So, I'm on my way back to college from winter break yesterday. I'm nearly half-way, when I pass an undercover police SUV driving suspiciously slow in the right lane. Once I pass him he pulls behind me and turns his lights/siren on. I pull over, roll my window down, and the first thing I hear is "Put your hands outside the window!" So I comply, then the detective says "Get out of the car!" I still have my seatbelt on, but I open the door anyway and turn around and see he has his gun drawn on me. At this moment I started to freak out.
I'm trying to explain to him my seat belt is still buckled and I can't get out of the car with all the highway noise. So, he walks over, unbuckles me, and immediately puts handcuffs on me. He walks me over to his car, and asks me "Is there anyone in your trunk?". I was thoroughly confused, said no, and he replied "We got a call saying someone is trying to escape from your trunk!" I told him he must have the wrong car. He said he was sure it was mine, they had my license plate number and description. So, I told him to look in there, and he'll see there's nothing in there. By this time, the Sheriff of the entire county showed up, and they both cautiously opened my trunk while I stood by the SUV handcuffed. Of course there wasn't anything in there except some tools and work boots.
They both immediately apologized, disarmed, and uncuffed me. The detective then told me a lady had been following me for 10 miles and called 911 saying she thought there was someone trying to get out of my trunk because my LED license plate light was flickering. I knew it was loose and would sometimes flicker from when I installed it, but she apparently thought it was someone trying to get out of the trunk. She even told the dispatcher that she thought she saw a hand! Apparently 2 entire county's sheriffs departments were on high alert looking for me. Anyway, the detective followed up with me today and apologized again for the mishap. Man, was that an experience! | License plate light was flickering, someone behind me thought I kidnapped someone who was trying to escape from my trunk. Get detained at gunpoint, open trunk, nobody there. Detective apologizes. |
t3_4uveu5 | relationships | I (M,22) am confused on my girlfriend's (F,20) stance on a long term commitment | I'll call her "M" for the sake of the story. M and I have been dating for close to 7 months now. We love each other and I can honestly say I'm never happier than when I'm spending time with her. She's expressed the same thing to me. After I finish college this upcoming year and start working full time the summer after, we have hopeful plans to get an apartment and move in together.
Along the course of our relationship, I've seen hints of her wanting a long term commitment. Some examples being a joke on TV about couples getting married and having her look at me and smile right after, saying things like "that's so pretty I'd love to have that at my wedding", having her ask questions like "when we get older, can we do this?" and just the idea of us getting a place together in general made me think that she has no problem getting closer to the next level with us. And to he clear I'm not disagreeing with these plans, I can see myself going the distance with M and it seemed like she wanted the same with me.
Last night we hung out with a couple of her girlfriends when the topic of marriage started a conversation. Everyone had different viewpoints on the subject, and then M put in her two cents. She says that she likes weddings, but couldn't really see herself having one. M also mentioned that she couldn't imagine being committed to one person for the rest of her life. Right in front of me. Her friends even looked at me when she said that seeing how I would react. I didn't make a scene out of it, and I wasn't confrontational about it afterwards because she had a big interview the morning after for an internship and I didn't want to mess with her head. But should I be confrontational? It seems like I'm hearing two opinions from her of what she wants out of his relationship and I just want to know her end goal with us. Or should I just slow down and chill out because I'm only at month 7 of this relationship? Any advice would be appreciated. | girlfriend had made it seem like she wanted a long term commitment with me, but sometimes says otherwise which is making me confused |
t3_461a1p | relationships | I, [40M] , am confused with some things going on my __wife_ [44F] of 18 years, possible past infidelity and personal issues. | I suffer from PTSD/TBI. Along with that is Paranoia and other issues. A little over fours years ago, some time after getting home from Iraq then Hospital I happened to notice my wife received a text message from a guy. She said he was an old friend from school and prior to my injury I likely would have dropped it. I became paranoid and began checking her phone and computer and everything. In my defense there were over 2800 messages to this guy. We argued a lot and almost split because of it. At one point she was supposed to stay at her father's house for the night, but I went there to check and she wasn't there. She'd gone to another guys house, but left after I called to confront her. She said she had just needed someone outside our circle to talk to. He denies she was ever there, and she claims nothing happened.
We worked through this, sonewhat, and for four years have been "ok". Recently she began going through what she calls a "grief process" regarding an old boyfriend who died in 2005. She had kept it "bottled" for that long. She began writing a fictional story about he and her, a romantic story. She hid this at first but I knew what it was about. I was actually fine with it at first.
She began having a girlfriend over a lot around this time and they talk about this guy a lot. My wife can't talk to me for half an hour without mentioning this guy. She also Photoshopped herself into a photo with this guy, as if they were a couple. Very hurtful.
The last three times we were intimate she seemed to be thinking of someone else, likely him, and the last time she was hardly there at all. She offers no affection towards me, and seems uncomfortable when I offer affection towards her.
I am completely confused and am looking for any advice. | My wife seems to regret or resent me, seems hung up on a deceased ex, and is distant towards me. She may have cheated before, I am uncertain. |
t3_4o8oen | personalfinance | I want to open a credit card, and close another credit card from a credit union out of town, how badly will this hurt my credit score? | My credit card has a limit of $100, and $15 minimum payment. It also has a "down payment" of $100 to pay back the bank if I don't pay them back while in use (it's more of a beginner's credit card). This credit union is based in my hometown.
I've had it for over a year now, and have since opened an account at a credit union where I live now. I would like to get the $110 left in all my accounts to put towards community college (which I am paying for myself), and close the credit card because of it being so far away.
I would like to open a new credit card at my current credit union to establish good credit for a future car loan.
How badly will this effect my credit? Any other alternatives? I really need they money for the down payment on my tuition, so that's the only reason I would want to close it. | I want to cancel a credit card and open another one at a bank closer to me, how badly will this effect my credit? |
t3_2bj8rg | relationships | I [32 M] with my GF [33 F] 5 years, her health and nutrition views are killing our relationship. | My girlfriend and her family are very much into health and nutrition. They have always leaned to alternitive medicine and organic food. I even acquiesced when she didn't want to get my son vaccinations.
Last year she dragged me to a health seminar with her sister, mother and brother-in-law. Which ended up being a cult. They were talking about how sickness was caused from sin, or from generational curses. It really upset me.
Now my girlfriend and her family started seeing this "doctor", he is a con-artist.
He sales like he is a real Dr., but he only has a degree from a sham school on the internet and a second rate community college. He gets them to pay $80 a treatment 3x a week or more. But then he tries to con me too.
My gf was told that she had chlamydia from a previous relationship that "the antibotics didn't get". Then gave her a bottle of homeopathic remedy, and 2 weeks later declaired her cured. Then he told her that I have it, because we have had sex. I could only be cured by him, because "medical doctors would miss it".
So she has told me that we won't have sex until I see her Dr. Its been 4 months, we are fighting more and more. | My girlfriend and her family have been conned. The con-artist uses new-age health to get his money. |
t3_2kiai5 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [21 F] of 2 years just broke up with me and her actions don't make sense. Seeking guidance. | I'll try to keep this as short and sweet as possible. She reddits and i'm not going to make a throwaway so i wont fabricate any of this.
Our relationship started kind of slow, but picked up fast. We were very passionate and very much in love. We understood we were young, but we were all about each other. The last couple months have given us some issues though.
We took about a month long break, during which I had sex with a mutual friend. After getting back together she hears about it and is rightfully upset, but i didnt think we were going to get back together. Regardless, I should've told her and i take full responsibility.
The last month she says that I've lacked intimacy and she doesnt feel like my gf. I went through a depression episode and it was very rough mentally. She recently broke up with me because she wants to feel loved and wasnt getting that. She said it was to "have space and be herself." The thing that gets me is that 3 days after our breakup, she already has someone spending the night with her and she says theyre getting very comfortable with eachother.
She says she doesnt know what our future holds, but i feel like i need to have enough self-respect to just walk away even though i am madly in love with her. ive also been showing her tremendous love to show her that i am crazy about her, it was just rough with the depression. she says that its "two weeks too late" and i feel like thats not a good enough excuse on a 2-year relationship.
I mightve missed a few things, i havent been well lately so if theres any questions please let me know! Thank you. | gf breaks up with me because she doesnt feel loved. wants to have space. i try to show her love and she dismisses me while having someone spend the night 3 days after our breakup. |
t3_1h8g3p | AskReddit | Occupational therapy and me! Looking for some career advise | Hey Everyone,
I graduating soon and after having gone through some big changes in my life, struggling with depression and anxiety. I'm looking towards my future for the first time in a long time and what I'm going to do with my life.
Someone mentioned that occupational therapy might be a good fit for me, I'm a tennis coach, and I should look into it. I have been doing lots of reading and the more I look the more I'm interested. I can picture myself helping people and despite my social anxiety telling me to be scared of anything new, I really want this.
I live in Toronto, and have regular grades 3.4 gpa (B+), but my question is more along the lines of volunteering or job shadowing. Should I just show up at a hospital or seniors home and ask if they have an occupational therapist I could speak to? The idea of doing that scares the shit out of me but it's always easier once I get there :) I've been looking online for opportunites and most are geared towards high school students, which makes sense. I guess I'm leading to the same question, should I just start sending out emails, calling and visiting places until I find somewhere or someone suitable?
I'm looking to apply to the Masters of Occupational therapy program of U of T, hopefully some redditor who went through the program will see this and help me out. | Got social anxiety, messed my shit up, things are looking up now, want to become an occupational therapist, any advice? |
t3_2syk8k | jobs | First Interview for an actual job. Need advice. | Alright, So I'm a 21 year old programmer who recently had an interview for a Software Developer position that I am barely qualified for. The interview was late in the day on Friday and I haven't heard from them today.
I basically aced the interview and he seemed to really like me and even told me I really know my stuff. The thing I am most concerned about is the "other candidates" that he mentioned when I asked him about the next step. As he said that there are other candidates and he will be in touch with the recruiter.I'm worried someone who is more qualified will come along and get the position. So, My question is what else can I do?
I've heard about sending a Thank You letter to him but I do not have his email as this job was found through a recruiter.
I am just trying to do anything to get me a leg up in the process as this is my dream job and I want it so bad.
I appreciate any advice! | This is my first"big-boy" job interview so I'm not quite sure the whole etiquette in what to do next. I hate waiting. So excuse my ignorance. |
t3_22txdz | relationships | Pregnant [19F] with the child of my ex fwb [25M] Duration 2 months: How can I talk to him without making him scared/angry? | My ex and I were fwb and during our time together he refused to use any protection, but I did. I was on the pill, had the back up ( day after pill) and charted. Around the time I got pregnant I had changed pills but we didn't mess around, mostly because I was on my period. We did though the last day of my period.
A month later I find out I'm pregnant and tell him. He declares I stole a child from him and this was all my fault. He disappears to his moms house in a different city. I still have his number, but haven't tried to call him. I understand why he's mad, but I would like to sit and talk to him.
I refuse to get any kind of child support from him due to the fact that my brother and I don't know our respective fathers and got no child support and have been raised just fine. So I'm not looking for him because of that. I'm looking for him, because I have a chance to possibly keep the father in the picture. And for me, growing up with out a father is rough for a kid in younger ages around fathers day when you seem like the only kid without one.
I just want to give my kid a better chance. But how can I start this conversation with him, when he'll barely answer my calls? | I don't want anything financial from him, I just want him to meet the kid. How can I go about that conversation? |
t3_35eotf | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [20/M] of a few months. His breath is terrible and I don't know how speak to him about it! | I've been seeing/with this guy for a few months. He's really kind, sweet, perfect, really. As our relationship has progressed things have begun to get physical. Only... His breath is awful.
Even after brushing his teeth, soon after the smell is foul. He doesn't have to breathe on me, he simply has to open his mouth. I adore him regardless, but it's putting a downer on our sex life because I cannot enjoy kissing him and being in close proximity can leave me wanting to gag.
I know I need to discuss this with him, but what is the best way? I don't want to hurt his feelings. | My boyfriend is borderline perfect - but his breath leaves me gagging. How do I talk to him about this without hurting his feelings? |
t3_2yp7cw | relationships | I [21F] think this guy [26M] might be bad news...am I right? | We met in one of my classes last semester and hit it off pretty much instantly. He was funny, charming, sweet, and it felt like he really got me. I had a boyfriend at the time and said so and shortly thereafter, he had a family emergency and had to leave school for a semester. We didn't really communicate after that.
He's back this semester and as it happens, we have another class together. It was like we picked up where we left off, except this time, I was single. We started dating probably about a month ago. We had some really great times which I'll gloss over here because they're not really relevant.
However, when we started "dating" instead of just flirting/being friends, everything changed. He said he needed some space for a few days so I backed off and gave it to him. Finally, he told me he was clinically depressed and he was really upset and I comforted him and I thought maybe we could still make it work, since he seemed to be so upfront about his illness. He agreed to try and things were fine.
He seems to have no interest in me anymore, though. He rarely wants to see me, and when he does, he isn't affectionate at all. I went away for spring break and he was so sweet over text the entire time, calling me "babe" and saying how much he missed me. When I came back, though, he didn't even hug me, let alone kiss me. He wanted me to leave after about an hour of awkward mostly-silence so he could do his homework. It felt brutal.
I really like him but I feel like he doesn't really like me, or something. Is there anyone with depression who can tell me if this is kind of normal? I've tried my best to be supportive, I've done Internet research on the disorder because I'm lucky enough never to have had it. I just don't know what's going on with him. | Male person I have dated for a month is hardcore withdrawing and doesn't seem interested in taking things anywhere. This is bad. Tell me this is bad because I am honestly crazy about him and I need some perspective. |
t3_rxc92 | BreakUps | [F]irst break-up; super cut. | I recently got dumped by my first now-ex after nearly 11 months (both 18 this year). Obviously I was quite upset about it, but I kept telling myself, "it was bound to happen, better for him to leave now instead of later when it gets really awkward, etc." Things seemed alright; we've been cordial to each other, even if responses were strained. Nothing more than polite small talk.
Turns out he broke up with me to be with my best friend, and now I can't help but feel extreme jealousy.
I'm very tempted to jump to conclusions and be all, "YOU WERE DECEIVING ME HOW COULD YOU NYEH NYEH NYEH", but I'm doing my best to give him the benefit of the doubt. Our relationship was very private; we kept PDA to a minimum, we told people about us only if they asked, etc. But it's nigh unbearable seeing them together, especially since I'm so close to them. The itch to be selfish and be all "BACK OFF BITCH HE'S MINE" keeps rearing its ugly head, but that'd cause far too much trouble, so I'm doing my best to grin and bear it. I've been listening to music to calm me down, since that's helped when I was stressed out or upset before, but listening to All By Myself doesn't seem to be doing the job.
So, telling the internet about my first break-up would surely be another step to becoming ever the stronger person I strive to be. | Got dumped after a nearly 11 month relationship because he wanted my bff and can't help but feel super jealous even though we're all very close. |
t3_2ck5vt | dating_advice | Tried to date my bestfriend(21/F) and failed, 2 years later she says she likes me(21/M). | I tried to date her and she said at the time that she saw me too much of a brother(brother-zoned!) and that she rather keep it like that. Now two years ago I was a 300 pound guy.
Two years passed, and I'm actually moving states for two years, and she called me out to tell me that she had been very immature two years ago and that she realized that she does like me. I am now a fit, 240 pound guy.
To that I responded that even though I would like to replicate those feelings I was moving(she knows this) and that I couldn't do anything about it. Now a group of friends planned a trip out which is a couple and the two of us. To be honest I still like her, but I am moving for a while and I don't believe in long distance at all.
The question is: Should I tell her that I still like her, and in the future I might seek her out again if I return? -Would this be better for the friendship as well? I do enjoy her company and her a lot, and no other girl makes me feel like she does, but I'm moving to a new place. | My bestfriend told me she likes me after 2 years when I got rejected. Should I tell her I still like her as well, even though I am leaving the state for the next two years? |
t3_fla7e | AskReddit | Does anyone know of alternatives to knee surgery for an injured dog? (x-post from r/Pets) | I have a 12 year old golden retriever who has a number of leg issues. She has arthritis in her hip, sciatica, and unstable knees. A couple of days ago she seemed to blow out one of her knees and was stumbling all over the place, in obvious pain.
She was taken to an emergency vet (this was on Sunday) and the vet said that although she had probably torn a ligament in the one leg, it was her other leg that seemed to be giving her more pain. The vet suggested that surgery was a possibility, but given her age and other mobility problems, it was unlikely to be a success. The emergency vet said that we should have our own vet come to the house to have a look at her, but that we should start thinking about what is best for the dog (ie. have her put down).
I live away from home (though relatively nearby), so my parents called me to tell me what had happened and so I've come to see the dog. The vet is coming tomorrow afternoon to have a look at the dog, but my parents seem to think that the best course of action may be to have her put down.
I can handle having the dog put down if that's the best thing to do, but it's hard to accept given that she seems to still be of perfectly sound mind, and in fine health other than the severely limited mobility (and sciatica, and arthritis).
So what I'm asking is, does anybody have any experience with dog knee issues? Is there anything that can be done? I've heard of dogs with "wheelchairs" before, but I don't know anything about it. I've been reading about "conservative treatment", aka mobility limitation, which seems to have some success, though often with younger dogs. Apparently, a good rehabilitation for dogs is swimming - though our pool is frozen over and will be for months to come. Do braces help?
Any information that you can give me, positive or otherwise, would be greatly appreciated. | 12 year old dog blew out her knee, vet suggestion seems to be to have her put down. I can accept this if this is best for the dog, but what other options are there? |
t3_13zme6 | relationship_advice | [18/M] I am in love with [18/F] her but she is "in love" with someone else, what do i do? ' | Here is the back story to start off.
So I met this girl when we were on a trip to a debate tournament in california with our individual high schools and really hit it off. We lived about 30-40 minutes away from each other. Few months or so down the road she breaks it off with me saying that she has too much going on and that I am not really a "boyfriend" to her because we dont get to see each other or be alone as much as she (or I) would like.
More Recently...
I found myself going off to college, suprirsingly a lot closer to where she lived and wanted to move on from the heart break of the summer. However, I found myself unable to move on as I continued to talk to her. So I left and stopped being friends with her saying that I needed to do it so I could move on and she understood.
Eventually..I found myself unable to do it and I was more in love with her than ever before. We became very very very close again with her making hints like "its not out of the realm of possibility of us getting back together", etc. But then I looked on her tumblr blog to see that she writes about this other guy/crush she apparently really really likes.
Current day....
Now I find myself torn between telling her how I feel like i'm just being used and losing her completely because I would rather supress my feelings and still at least have her in my life. But then again that makes me really upset and sad when she is doing all of this.
What I need advice on...
1. Is she lying to me?
2. Does she really have any interest in me anymore?
3. How/should I move on?
4. What should I say to her?
Please help me reddit, I really am down about this.
P.S. She still brings up everyonce in a while the idea of being with me, etc. But it's very playful. | I am in love with my ex-girlfriend but she is "in love" with another guy but still makes hints at me and her getting back together |
t3_4f5iag | relationships | Me [21F] with my Roommate [21 F], she's beyond inconsiderate. | I hate my roommate. I hate her. She is so inconsiderate. Living with her is a nightmare. However, that's not why I'm here. Somehow, she managed to get a boyfriend. However, she doesn't go over to see him (he's only an hour away). Instead, she makes him come over here. He's come over like once or twice a week every week for a month or so now. That in itself pisses me off, but I haven't said anything because she's very manipulative and when I confront her about a genuine problem she turns it around on me and tries to make me feel guilty.
Here's the problem: I told her well in advance when my boyfriend was coming to visit. We don't get to see each other often so it's special when we do. My roommate gives me a day's notice, if that. My roommate just told me her boyfriend is coming up the same weekend mine is. I'm sure they're going to want the room. I was hoping for some private time with my boyfriend. Is it rude of me to tell her that I'd rather not give her any private time at all/share the room or leave the room? I was thinking something along the lines of "I know you'd like to spend some time with your boyfriend, but you see him every week and I don't get to see mine that often. You have plenty of other chances to hang out with him and I'd like the room this weekend to ourselves." Does that sound rude? I haven't really confronted her about much (although having her boyfriend come up almost every week is driving me crazy) because I still have a month left to live with her. | My roommate's an asshole, having her boyfriend up the same weekend mine's coming up, not sure how to tell her she's being a rude asshole without becoming the rude asshole. |
t3_3340w4 | relationships | My [31m] SO [26f] went for a trip to a to romantic city to visit had best friend who was in love with her time ago. I explained I was not comfortable and why, but gave the OK. She went there without telling me. | Hi guys. My girlfriend (1.5 years together) planned a trip to visit her best male friend to a different city. She told me she was planning to go 3 times beforehand, in an unknown date. The third time I asked why I could not come and she said that she wanted to fully enjoy him and I should trust her she would not do anything. I was not happy with it, as they would have to sleep together in the same room, but finally understood it after some talking mainly driven by me. What really made me angry was that at some point, she just did not reply to my messages for a whole day and suddenly she was there with him. She said she was waiting for the right time to tell me.
I really don't think anything happened with him, as she could have been with him when he said he was in love with her (before meeting me) and she rejected him. But what is really killing me inside right now is the fact she did not trust me to tell me "hey baby, I'm leaving later for a weekend with my friend. I'll be traveling for the rest of the day" or something along those lines.
Am I being unreasonable if I dump her for that fact? If I ask for explanation face to face, I know she will excuse herself and will make me feel like a "way too jealous and overreacting guy". How should I approach this with class and not loosing my temper? Right now she's there, I don't want to stop the relation now because: 1. I honestly want her to enjoy the trip. 2. I don't want to give her an excuse to be with the guy in case something happened.
Thanks guys! | gfriend went on a trip with guy when I'm not comfortable with it. Dunno if I'm overreacting. |
t3_1fazgf | AskReddit | Never developed social skills past a certain age, please help? | Hello reddit,
My story is admittedly almost odd, I don't want to talk about my life too much, so I'll put it simply. I am a 19 year old male whom has been in a strict relationship for 5 years, my problem is that I wasn't "allowed" to talk to people other then my girlfriend (cringing but I actually did it, kicking myself now) but the why and what happened aren't important.
The point is I'd just left high school., I went through college with my girlfriend ect. So after a break up that caused me to develop server depression, social anxiety and PTSD, I fix myself up. I get back into uni and want a fresh start. However I don't have intra personal skills, they haven't developed past high school age. I am so lonely and I just want to improve myself, I'd really appreciate some help at the lowest point of my life.
I'm aiming for a straight first in my degree and am somewhat good at what I do (because I never got to talk to anyone I stayed in the library revising and waiting for my girlfriend). I have some friends, however I need to teach myself the social skills that are needed. I don't want to be Johnny bravo, I just want to restore some normality, I'm terrified the damage done to me is irreversible. Again reddit, please help. | Lets say somebody is an intelligent 20 year old, but never developed social skills past high school age what should be done? |
t3_3f5g9h | relationships | Boyfriend [M20] is angry that I [F19] didn't think he could win a fight after a guy slapped my ass. | My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 18 months. Last night it was my friends birthday. After the party my boyfriend and I left and on our way home we stopped by a souvlaki place. As we were leaving, this guy slapped my ass. My boyfriend pushed him. They got closer and started talking crap to one another before I grabbed him and told him to forget it.
Anyway, while we were driving home I told him that I didn't think he could have beaten the guy in a fight. I didn't say it out of the blue obviously, it came up in conversation. My boyfriend and I are short, I'm 4'10 and he's 5'4 the other guy was around 6'4. My boyfriend used to do moy Thai and he works out a lot, but the other guy had a foot on him and he was probably 50lb+ heavier. I think he's mostly angry because I laughed at him when he said he could have beaten him. Which I admit was a butch thing to do.
As it stands he's pretty angry at me. I'm sure that it will blow over. (At least I hope so.) But in the future am I just supposed to lie? Is that what a good girlfriend does? "Oh you could totally beat up guys who are more than a foot taller than you and have a significant weight advantage." Am I supposed to lie now to make him feel better? I think it's a little silly for him to expect me to think that he can defy the laws of physics. After the party he dropped me off but didn't sleep over or anything. I think he's just punishing me. Am I in the wrong here? | Boyfriend [M20] is angry that I [F19] didn't think he could win a fight after a guy slapped my ass. |
t3_1izzmh | relationship_advice | Can friends go back to being friends after a 1 year relationship?(18f/18m) | Quick background to the situation:
-The relationship ended due to religious constraints. The year that we were together was very private and very little PDA to protect our images in front of our parents. (Seems childish but we took a chance by even calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Definitely not the right move to go against a religion and family that ended up not accepting the choices we made, none of which violated his standards or beliefs. We were both mindful of our situation)
- We met in the 9th grade and formed a solid friendship with each other over the course of the next three years. This included not only the times we hung out in school but also the summer programs that we both ended up being interested in. Our summers were spent on a different school campus together which gave us the freedom we always wanted but it turns out that freedom may have just destroyed what could have been a lasting friendship.
Since this is all fairly recent and we are both going away for college this fall, we've been trying to patch things up to leave on decent terms. On his side, all of the advice he has received from both his parents and other individuals have focused around just letting me go completely. We have just decided to take some real time away from each other (although we have to attend a few events together) in hopes that by the times we start classes in the fall, we could not see each other as lovers and more as the close friends that we used to be.
From knowledge or experience, can it actually happen? | I was friends with a guy for 3 years, got into a brief relationship and I want to know if it is possible to maintain the friendship we had. |
t3_1u5ij1 | relationships | I'm [24M] unhappy and dissatisfied and want to break up with my girlfriend [F22] of two years but I'm worried how she'll cope after the separation. | I've been in a relationship with a girl for a bit over 2 years and things are ok, nothing particularly special.
She is a lovely girl and we have fun together. But I feel limited by the relationship, my work is going to take me overseas this year for a few weeks every few months and I'm very excited about it. She is very much a homebody and to her this is the end of the world. Her work keeps her around our local city and her friend circle is very limited, to the point where she doesn't actually have any close friends.
It's come to a point where she's started to make comments about our future and getting married etc. That is the furthest thing from my feelings about the relationship. I want to enjoy my travel and not be limited at my age, and possibly take up opportunities to work wherever I'm posted and remain there. I want to end the relationship very soon. I've been of the opinion that you shouldn't be with someone if their intention is marriage and yours isn't.
Of course I still care for her deeply and I'm concerned about how she'll go when I end it. She is at the point where she thinks our relationship is the rest of her life and her life the past few years has been with me predominantly.
Would love some perspectives of how to go about things, especially from women of how they would prefer a partner to go about such a separation. I want her to be ok but I need to move on otherwise I'll further regret it down the line. | want to break up with my girlfriend as I think our relationship is limiting me and I'm unhappy but I'm concerned how she will cope afterwards. |
t3_eoran | AskReddit | I had beer goggles on and slept with a woman that I normally would not have (great personality, ok body, but her face is the stuff of nightmares). She wants to see me again for more sex, what do you think I should do? | 27yo male. 35?yo woman
On Sat I went to a bar with some friends and after being many deep we ran into each other. We met at a bar through a mutual friend and we apparently got very drunk and ended up back at my place. She knows I'm not looking for a relationship so I don't have to worry about that, but the situation that we hooked up rubs me the wrong way.
I basically got trashed and then had unprotected sex with a woman on her period (she's got an IUD so I don't have to worry about pregnancy, but she could have had STIs).
I'm angry with myself:
* for drinking so much that I'd sleep with a girl while she's on her period (mainly because my sheets looked like someone got murdered)
* for having unprotected sex with her (this is totally out of character, at least as far as one-night stands go)
* for having slept with someone that I don't find at all attractive (sober at least)
* that it bothers me that I slept with a girl that I don't find attractive, what a vain/arrogant asshole.
Personality-wise she's cool as hell, so if I was less drunk and we hooked up I wouldn't feel that bad, but the circumstances make me angry with myself and those feelings kinda spread to her. I think that she had a good time and I'm a pretty kind and caring person so she has not idea I have thought about any of the above.
She called saying she's gonna be back in the Hoboken area for the holidays and was looking forward to meeting up. Should I just take the no-strings sex and go for it? | 27m sleeps with older woman when he's drunk and regrets it because of the circumstances. He also doesn't find her attractive, but vaguely remembers the sex being good. Should he sleep with her again? |
t3_1k6fz1 | relationships | Is it normal to be this sad after a breakup? (21f) | My boyfriend (28m) of three and a half years broke up with me about a week and a half ago. It was inevitable, I guess. It wasn't a good relationship, and we both knew it. He didn't treat me well. But I loved him so, so much.
I can't stop crying. I still can barely get out of bed in the morning. More like afternoon. Evening, some days. I'm so exhausted all the time, that after only a few hours being up I want to go back to bed. I have to smoke weed to be able to fall asleep. Then I'll wake up once every hour or so. I have terrible, disturbing dreams about him constantly.
I'm irritated by everyone and everything when I do manage to make it out of the house. My self-esteem has never been this low, and I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. I have no appetite, and I'm lucky if I can force down food once a day. I can't find the strength to do the simplest tasks, like throw away garbage and do laundry. I can't talk to my mom without snapping at her and hurting her feelings, because I can't control my emotions at all right now.
To be honest, my mood hasn't been so hot for the last few months. I've been keeping myself busy with summer school, but I've been struggling with appetite and stress issues all summer. I've felt heartbroken for a while, because our relationship has been really hard. But now I can't even make it through a day. It's especially frustrating that school is out right now, because I fee like I have nothing to live for. But I don't even know if I would be able to keep up with my schoolwork right now. Every day when I wake up I start counting the hours until it's over.
I realize this all makes me sound pretty pathetic. Is this normal? Shouldn't I be starting to feel better by now? Shouldn't I at least be able to make it through the day? When am I supposed to start feeling better? Because I gotta say... I can't take this much longer. Can anyone give me any advice or encouragement? | I'm really, really, really broken up about my breakup with my boyfriend (28m), and there's seemingly no light at the end of the tunnel. I have no idea how to start feeling better. |
t3_3jswbe | personalfinance | (CAN) I live in Ontario and my OSAP (government loan) does not cover my student expenses | OSAP is an amount of money that the ontario government partially grants and partially loans to you so that you can afford to go to university/college in Ontario. My OSAP was estimated at 7500 for the year, which is pretty average considering that almost covers the tuition fees. Last year it was 8500. Now, my actual approved amount is 2300. This is far too low for me to survive. I have a car lease that I needed for work, I'm paying 10k a year for tuition, and my all-in expenses are something near 23k a year. Right now I have 13k and that leaves 10k I need to scrape together to survive, on pace.
Mind you, I did not spend a lot of money. I own half my clothes from when I was 14. I barely spend money, and because I'm in an awkward tax bracket I'm being fucked by the government funding program here. | My actual question here - what the hell are my options? I can't afford to go to school because my OSAP loan was way lower than they projected. |
t3_2tm5v5 | relationships | I (19f) vomited after someone I had a crush on (20m) farted in front of my friends and its NOT because of that! I don't know what to do now! | Forgive me if this post was difficult to read (English is my second language)
We study in the same college and were watching a movie(that recent XMen movie) in my friend's house. There were at least ten people there. He farted during that scene where Wolverine goes to the mansion to talk with Xavier.
Everyone(including myself) laughed so hard and I sort of got a gag reflex from all that laughing. As a result of that I vomited a little in my mouth and ran to the bathroom while my friend, lets call him Jay, said to everyone out loud that I was vomiting. And from what I heard they were squealing in laughter. I swear its not because of his farting! I was already feeling bad from the possibly rotten food I ate yesterday afternoon. Thing is I sort of like him. I don't know how to convince him that I didn't vomited because of his fart. He used to sit in front of me during our classes and we would talk regularly.
Today and most of the past three days, he is avoiding me and only talks with me in a formal way. What should I do now? | A crush of mine farted in front of my friends and I vomited as if it was because of it and now he is avoiding me. |
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