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t3_3ms9ct | legaladvice | Stores refusing to accept 'legal tender'... Any truth to this? | I was reminded of this by a comment in another sub... I was told *by a high school teacher* that if, say, you walk into a convenience store & attempt to make a purchase with a $100 bill, if they don't have it posted anywhere that they don't accept $100 bills, and they refuse to accept it, you're legally allowed to walk out with the item(s).
I find this very difficult to believe.
Someone else just mentioned it in a similar context (sorry, on mobile, otherwise I'd go find & link to it. I think it was in /r/pettyrevenge). They attempted to pay for a $1+ soda with a $20. The cashier refused to accept it because they "had too many $20s" & were generally being dickish. Another user commented that the OP should've walked out with the soda, because they're legally allowed to do so.
This scenario is a bit less extreme than the example I was given in high school, but I still wonder how much truth there is, if any, to this seemingly absurd logic. | can you just walk out of a store with an item you attempted to purchase, if the cashier refuses to accept your form of legal tender & they don't have a sign posted anywhere that states they don't accept it? |
t3_2g2ca4 | relationships | Is it wrong for me [17/M] to ask my best friend [17/M] to stop being friends with one of my ex-friends [17/M] | First off, this is going to be a little complicated. This whole thing started 3 years ago when I became friends with James (Obvious alias, he's my now ex-friend). We were "best friends" for 3 years, and he was later my boyfriend for a few months. He emotionally abused me for the majority of the relationship, and most likely never actually had any romantic feelings for me. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. This means that I have an extreme fear of abandonment, which causes me to occasionally (like once a week) have mental breakdowns. These breakdowns are usually caused by the fear of abandonment. I left James about 3 months ago, and told him I never wanted to talk to him again. I held true to this, but he's still a friend to my best friend, who I will call Steve. Steve tells me all the time that I'm a much more precious friend to him than James is, and he demonstrates it all the time. The problem comes in with the fact that he operates on a first come first serve kind of mentality. James always beats me to talking to Steve, because of our time schedules. This means they spend severely more time together than me and Steve do. I always feel like he's drifting away from me, and so I do one of three things. I sit down and cry for a few hours, I tell Steve that I never want to talk again and break the relationship off for a few days or weeks, or we have a falling out and end up even closer. I can't continue to do this, and I want to tell him it's me or him. Do I have the right to do this, after all that James has put me through, and how much his actions still terrorize my daily life, or should I just cut my connections with them? | I have BPD and it makes it so I need to either cut myself off from my friends, or tell my best friend that it's either me, or my ex-boyfriend |
t3_wpf14 | AskReddit | Yesterday I got messed with by a McDonalds employee and gave it right back to her tenfold. Reddit, what is your best fast food experience? | I was driving through McDonalds with my girlfriend after dinner because we were both in the mood for a McFlurry and it was hot as balls out. We get through the line and the nice middle aged lady behind the glass spends about a minute and a half talking to a co-worker while our McFlurrys just sit on the counter, slowly becoming soup. Finally, she notices us, turns back to her co-worker for about 15 more seconds and finally hands up our tasty treats. Before I can grab them, she snatches them away and says "You can't have these" clearly in a joking manner. So I look down and simply said "Please?" and she starts laughing and hands them over. I had the small to my girlfriend and I get the regular size one. She says "Now how come she has to have the small one, and you get the big one? HUH?" and I say "Because I'm giving her the big one later." Her eyes get huge and she is stunned for a few seconds and says "We don't talk like that around here" All I do is smile a huge, creepy smile and pull away slowly. I could hear her laughing after we pulled away. Made my night.
So Reddit, what is your best fast food experience? | Insinuated to a fast food employee that I had ample sized junk and that my girlfriend had any interest in pursuing it later in the evening. Both vastly untrue. |
t3_3ewxei | relationships | Me (30F) and my partner (32M) of 6 years are planning our lives together... and I'm getting cold feet b/c of sex | UPDATE:
After reading what I wrote & the comments, I'm clearly looking for permission to leave.
Thanks for your help Reddit.
I'm kind of freaking out.
My best friend and BF of six years have seen a life together for a long time. We've lived together for 4 or 5 years... we bought a house together... all of our friends are mixed. Our lives are completely intertwined.
And I love him. Deeply. He's my best friend and confidant.
But the sex sucks. It has for a long time. I don't have a lot of hope of it getting better. There was a LOT of pain earlier in the relationship which ended in a realization that we just don't have compatible sexuality. We've tried so hard to find common ground, but there just isn't a lot of it between us.
I can not be a sexually fulfilled person in this relationship -- and I don't imagine he can be either (even if he says that it is okay with him).
He's not at all open to non-monogamy. We've repeatedly tried sex therapy.
I've always kind of been able to deal with the sex on a day-to-day basis.... but now that we've been talking about the "forever" kind of long term, I'm completely at a loss.
He's my best friend and I love him a crazy amount. I'm fulfilled in many other ways by this relationship... but can I really go the rest of my life without sexual fulfillment? Do I want to?
I can see a very comfortable, safe, warm future with him. I know that we can work through just about anything. I know that I trust him and that he is my best friend...
But the excitement, the lust, the heat... just not there.
I don't know if I'm actually strong enough to leave. It will break us both to pieces.
Is an "A" relationship with "D" sex enough?
How do I know when I'm being mature about expectations versus settling? | Now that "forever" is on the table, I've got cold feet b/c of a crappy sex life, despite the fact that I crazy love my partner and can see a warm & cozy life with him. |
t3_28iiue | relationships | My friend [19F] told me [20F] that she was sexually assaulted but doesn't think it was a big deal at all. | I was hanging out with two friends yesterday when one of them revealed to us that she had been raped the past weekend. She was visiting a friend at a college and ended up going to a guy's room to sleep there (literally), and he forced her to have sex with him twice. She said it was scary and a bad experience, but talked about it in an incredibly casual way. She didn't use the word "rape" until my other friend hesitantly brought it up, and she claims she isn't traumatized. She genuinely did not seem upset!
This is actually similar to another situation that occurred about a year ago when she mentioned that her parents used to beat her when she was in high school as though that was perfectly normal. No sign of trauma, no sign that she understood the seriousness of the situation. (I let it go at the time because she said her parents stopped when she went to college. If she'd had younger siblings, I would've pursued it.)
I really don't know what to do. On the one hand, what happened was absolutely not okay, but if she is really taking it so "well" I'm worried that emphasizing the sexual assault will actually do more damage. She should probably get tested for STDs though (even though she thinks she's clean because he seemed worried that she might have an STD). | Should I broach the subject of my friend's sexual assault if she doesn't seem like she understands what has happened? |
t3_2404in | relationships | I [22F] made an oops and got in a physical alteration with my little sister. [20F] | She came over and we had a couple of drinks, I started to have a conversation with her about how different we are as people. She is into different music, talks with different slangs, etc.
We've also had this mild rivalry the last couple of years that we never talked about but it was getting tense and she started to yell at me about how I thought I was better than her all of the time and I always acted like MY problems in life were more significant than hers. Which, to some degree, is true. Because I had a child a year and a half ago, and I've been parenting solo the entire time. So, as far as my perspective goes, my child's needs are first and foremost, so after I've given birth, I'm not going to want to listen to your boy drama.
Either way, it turned into a screaming match. And I told her that I was tired of her coming to MY home and disrespecting me because I had tolerated more than enough. She lost it on me and started to insult my parenting methods. So I told her to leave. She kept threatening to hit me and I told her not to start this shit when my son was right downstairs trying to sleep and she said she was going to shout really loud just to wake him up. So I shoved her out the door of my home. And locked the door.
She has a car so she left. Sent me a text. "Enjoy the tea I bought you with my money, and have a nice life."
DRAMA! Oh well, I simply responded that I was sorry we couldn't have a proper conversation about it. And went on with life. Feeling kind of guilty now, because I know that violence was not necessary but she was pushing my buttons and not listening to me when I asked her to leave, threatening to disrupt my toddler... grr... I'm mad. | literally pushed my little sister out the door because she was outright disrespecting me, yelling at me and threatening to wake up my toddler. |
t3_cehzz | AskReddit | Hello Reddit, I have a favor to ask | Recently, I saw a post in this reddit in which a person asked for a belated birthday gift, the drawing of a unicorn facing a T-rex, I believe it was. Now today, I come asking for a drawing, not because it's my birthday, but because I really want to see this sketch done. I don't particularly care who does it, as long as it is done.
Allow me to paint the scene for you. It's midnight, and a full moon is up. There's a barren lake, that looks rather sickly, some parts of it are discolored from the pollution that has run through the lake. Still, the reflection of the moon shines down and reflects off the surface of the water. On this lake, I'd like one of you redditors to paint a tyrannosaurus-rex, walking on the water, with Jesus on top. Jesus should be in an action pose fishing, with the hook pulling the **reflection of the moon out of the water**.
Now let me break it down symbolically for you. At first glance, this may seem as a joke to you, however it has a deeper meaning, some might call it an allegory. The lake itself is barren and polluted, representing the modern world. However, the fact that Jesus can fish a moon out of the water represents the fact that even in the depths of the worst situations, Jesus can still perform a miracle. Furthermore, the dinosaur is symbolic of the abandoned, as dinosaurs were left off of Noah's arc. Again, this represents Jesus's embrace of the abandoned, that those who are most in need can find Jesus. Obviously, the fact that the dinosaur is walking on water in the first place is a biblical reference in itself.
Thanks for reading Reddit, | Redditor really wants to see Jesus on a t-rex walking on the surface of a lake while fishing the moon. |
t3_2uw7nt | legaladvice | Probate/inheritance question [IL] | This is a somewhat long story, so I will try and stay on track and focused as possible.
My grandfather passed in 2001, but did not have a will. My mother and her sister were the only living relatives, however my mother had been named executor of his estate and had power of attorney when he passed. His estate has and still is in probate in IL. The last thing my mother did was back in 2006, and that was miss a court date. My mother passed last August, and now we really have no idea who is entitled to what.
The way my father saw it was that my aunt would get 50% of his estate and my sister and I would get 25% each since my mother didn't have a will either and he is not blood related. I spoke with a lawyer last week and he didn't seem very confident which is why I am writing this post now, but he said that my Aunt would get 50%, my dad 25% and my sister and I 12.5% each.
After finding out this information I have decided not to put forward my time, effort, and money to hire a lawyer to go through with this and am leaving it up to my aunt and dad to work it out.
Can anyone advise me on if this is accurate? Am I entitled to anything? He had 2 homes, one of which has already been taken by the state due to back taxes not being paid, and the other home is in jeopardy of being taken as well since back taxes haven't been paid in a few years. He had bank accounts with money and stocks and bonds. | My grandfather died 14 years ago, didn't leave a will and the estate is still in probate. Need to know if it's worth me pursuing. |
t3_193rut | relationships | I (21,f) have no idea what I should do about my roommate (22,f). | My roommate and I have been friends for a year and a half, lived together for half a year. so in the past couple weeks I have been finding more and more out about my roommate. Last week I found out that she does internet stripping, which freaked me out. I consider myself pretty liberal, but NOT that liberal and today I found out that she has a twitter page, where she is naked all over my apartment aka the living room, bathroom. It makes me super uncomfortable and I do not like it at all. I would just deal with it if it was just in her room but she is doing this stuff in my living room, and sitting naked on my couch. I find it really really gross. I don't know what to do about it. I did not know she was gonna be like this when I first decided to live with her. If I knew this was how it was going to be, I would have never moved in with her. So I guess I am just wondering what to do about her. | !- my roommate strips for the internet and posts naked photos of herself on the internet ( and they are in our common space aka living room bathroom and not in her room) and I do not know how to handle this... help me |
t3_49jpjv | relationships | My brother (29/m) is demanding my uncle (68/m) to pay for a kidney in order to live! | Two years ago, my uncle needed a kidney and was having a incredibly hard time to find one. So almost everybody in the family who can donate a kidney went to get tested to see if they can donate. Turned out my brother is the one that have the kidney that would match my uncles.
But my uncle end up got a kidney in time, so my brother didn't had to donate his. Unfortunately, uncle's body end up reject the kidney. They aren't having much of a luck to find one in time for him. So my uncle end up asked my brother if he can donate.
Here's the thing with my uncle, he is a retired business man. He did quite well in his time and now is living comfortably. But he have always look down at younger generation and says they are lazy, bum, and always asking for a hand out. My brother have never asked for anything. He is doing alright in life, but my uncle had pretty much put him (and every other younger family members) down for not being "successful" and claim that they didn't want to work hard and all that.
Because of that, my brother told my uncle he'd only donate if my uncle pay him, me, and other younger family members a lot of money. So much that it would wipe almost everything out of my uncles account.
Now everybody is upset about this. Some of the younger family members had pretty much say that my uncle had it coming with all stuff he had been saying. But at same time most of older family members are really mad about this.
I'm really not liking where this is heading. What can I do? | My uncle needs a kidney and my brother is only one who is able to donate. My brother is telling my uncle to pretty much clean out his account or he won't get kidney. |
t3_2l6sne | relationships | Me [22 F] with my i dont know what [25 M] 5 months, Should I asked him what is going on? | Ive been having sex with this friend of mine for 5 straight months, we even cuddle in the mornings..but when I get out of his room its like we are just friends again and if we see each other we act like friends...we usually hook up when we are drunk. So two weeks ago I realized I like him so I decided to stop whatever this is..so I stopped talking to him till this past friday he called me and came to the party I was and he was pretty drunk, he told me he was angry because I didnt talked to him anymore, that he missed me, he even hold my hand in front of everyone we know, we kissed, he said he loved me and kissed all my face then he asked me if i wanted to leave the party but i said no and he got all mad..and left. then the next morning he uploaded a picture with two girls at the party he was before and i felt bad...we are talking again...but i dont know if i should tell him how i feel or what is going on. | ive been having drunk sex with a friend of mine, i like him and i thinks he likes me, should I ask him whats going on? |
t3_j6j81 | relationship_advice | I'm a Superficial Asshole and Need to Be Put into Place | I met this amazing man over the internet a little over a week ago. We share a lot of interests, can talk for hours on end, and his goofy laugh makes my heart jump. We haven't met in person yet, but plan to soon and I'm afraid the extremely idiotic part of me will reject him based on looks.
I've seen pictures of him, but he looks different in almost every one. I don't know what to make it. I do find him attractive, however. But how much can you trust pictures?
It'd be so ridiculously stupid of me to not continue this, and how foolish of me to post this as an actual problem, but it alarms me still. I hate feeling this way. I wish I didn't. I always try to talk myself out of it, but the thoughts just creep right back into my mind. Honestly, I'm in no place to judge others. My looks are nothing out of the ordinary.
Should I meet with him anyway? What if he doesn't look like what I think he does? I know I'm being stupid. How can I change this?
Thanks for reading this... | Met a fabulous guy over the internet. Haven't met yet but will soon. I'm afraid I won't find him attractive. What should I do? How should I fix this way of thinking? |
t3_3b0zzx | relationships | Me [23 F] with a new hookup [26 M, Army] doesn't understand why I don't want to hear about other women on deployment. | I was at a wedding three weeks ago as a bridesmaid, hooked up with the best man. We've known each other vicariously for years, I took his virginity the night of the wedding, and we really hit it off. We're still talking, and his deployment coming up in December came up. He started telling me that all his friends were thinking he'd come back with either a) a wife, or b) every STD known to man, and how he was planning on having a "good time".
I acknowledge that he will hook up with other people. I acknowledge there will be other women. I'm not stupid enough to think this is something that will lead to anything. However, I don't talk to him about other guys who want to fuck me. I don't mention other partners, and I don't talk about sex with him to other people. I can't quantify my anger(?) about him talking to me about the other women he plans on being with.
I told him that I didn't want to hear about other women, and he asked, "Are you jealous before I'm even there?" I don't think it's jealousy. I just can't place it. Help? | Started hooking up with a dude, don't want to hear about the women he's going to fuck overseas, but can't quantify the feeling. Help? |
t3_47fnxw | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 6 months, she wants to talk about her abortion but I don't know what to say. | I got together with my girlfriend about 6 months ago. About a month into the relationship I got her pregnant. It was really difficult for her, she cried a lot and had a really hard time. For me it wasn't difficult. I felt no emotional connection to the fetus and thought abortion was the best choice. It still hurt me to see her in the pain she was in and I did my best supporting her. After a couple of days she decided to have an abortion and I supported her the entire time as well as I could.
Since the abortion she still brings it up from time to time, saying things like "I miss the baby" and "I regret having an abortion". She feels like the main reason she had an abortion was because of what people would think of her if she kept the baby and she hates that she had an abortion for that reason.
Now to the problem. Whenever she brings the abortion up I don't know what to say. I want to be supportive and comforting but I can't and it feels awful. Recently when she brought the abortion up she said "You don't talk to me or comfort me." and it broke my heart. I just don't know what to do. What can I do and say to make her feel better? | I got my girlfriend pregnant and she had an abortion 5 months ago. She still feels said about it and I don't know what to do or say to comfort her. What should I do? |
t3_30azpe | relationships | My girlfriend [27/F] for 5 years broke up with me [26/M] two days ago. I'm completely lost and miserable. | 5 years together, living together. No fights, very good relationship. I did not see this coming and i'm lost, with my head still spinning.
She broke with me two days ago, reason being she think we're not a couple anymore, or at least we don't behave as one. I'm still love her, a lot. We're still living together.
I'm very aware about the golden rule of the breakups: "No Contact". NEVER. ZERO. But there is some issues on my case:
Financial) Both of us can't afford to live alone, the city where we live is pretty expensive. And there is the furniture, appliance...We cannot afford buy those things now. No family here too, only us.
Dog) We have a dog, a dog that does not behave well alone. He's messy. And both of us love him a lot.
Travel) She will travel in January, and will stay in Europe for at least 1 year. The rental period here, for houses and apartments, is 1 year minimum. So she cannot rent.
We're deciding about live together the next months, until her travel. But it's hurting. Badly, i can't even express what i'm feeling. And i'm wondering if i will be able to recover myself if we choose to live together
We still care a lot with each other and i'm pretty sure there is no infidelity.
Sorry about the bad english, i'm not a native speaker. | GF break, i'm totally miserable. We have a dog and not that much $$. Thinking in live together until her travel in January |
t3_1vwkdg | legaladvice | LAWYERS OF REDDIT i was informed to try this sub. question is do i have any legal ground to stand on?..question about leasing offices and quoting apartment prices | here is a picture of the quote i was given
i live in san diego, CA
im 27 so by no means am i completely ignorant when it comes to looking for apartments
heres the story i saw an ad online so i went to the complex to discuss details. i was told the price online wasnt avail however i was quoted a price of 990 for a 1br good for 48hrs. i returned within the given period and am told that the price will not be honored because the price for the unit has increased however because i have a quote the rep says she will text her manager to discuss options avail. then im told that the manager agreed that because the price for the unit has gone up the quote i was given is now invalid. is this allowed? how can this be fair? can they really quote me with a price and say its locked in for that 48hr period however then not honor that quote? please help me out with some info. i plan to go in on friday 1/24, the day the manager gets back, and i will be talking to the manager and would like some legal info i can throw back at her if there is any. HELP!!!! PLease | got a quote for a price for an apartment supposed to lock the price for 48hrs. return and not honored. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
t3_g3gp0 | dating_advice | I like a girl who guys like to flirt with | I am a 16 year old male who has been single for about a year now. My last girlfriend was someone who I thought was going to be a keeper. She broke up with me. A couple of months ago (present day) I started to like a different girl. However, she talks to/flirts with A LOT OF GUYS. Including some of my closest friends. I don't particularly flirt because, to be honest, I'm not very attractive. So I always think (why would she like me when there are so much more attractive guys she is currently flirting with). The only time I can talk to her 1 on 1 is when were in class together. Otherwise other guys start flirting with her. So how can I get her to notice me and potentially start talking to me more? | I like a girl who guys flirt with a lot. How do I get her to notice me and talk to me more? |
t3_117dzl | relationships | Me (25/m) and my Girlfriend (22/f) are in "no mans land" right now. Need help :( | So we have been dating for about 3 months now, but just recently she started to get very distant from me and say that she doesn't think she is ready for this relationship and that she doesn't want to be with me. That is all pretty simple. What I'm having trouble with is that she isn't able to handle not seeing me or talking to me and that she still wants me to be a part of her life. Basically doing all of the things we would normally do but not be exclusive with each other. I want to spend my time with her but I feel like I'm just setting myself up for disappointment when someone else piques her interest and she just drops me completely. She says she's not looking for anyone else and that she really doesn't have time for a relationship (2 jobs, School) but , she doesn't want to lose me and that I am the best boyfriend she has ever had and that when she's not so busy things could work out.
<br>
Reddit, am I being taken for a ride? Should I invest any more time into this and wait for her to come around, or am I just hoping for a day that will never come?
<br> | My girlfriend broke up with me but doesn't want to stop hanging out all the time. Should I stay or should I go? |
t3_2b7sji | relationships | Me [24 M] with my wife [23 F] of one year. She is mad at me for typical photos I took with female cosplayers at a recent convention. Is it fair that she's mad and to say I "disrespected" her? | I went to a game/comic convention somewhat recently, and got some photos with various people dressed up as various characters (male and female).
I showed my wife [23f] the pictures when I got home one that night excited to share my fun with her.
When she saw some of the photos I was in, next to female cosplayers she was mad. She felt disrespected that I would think to take pictures next to attractive women in "inappropriate" clothing, and that I didnt consider how uncomfortable she is with that kind of thing. None where actually too revealing, just normal what you'd typically see at such events. Still, She doesnt want me doing that again.
Did I go out of line?
I also bought, around that same time, a small canvas art painting of Game of Thrones that has several characters collages on the front. I love it! However, she does not like it at all (sad, but fine) because - and was disappointed that - one of the lead female character lying down in the front of the art "suggestively" (Khaleesi, thought she's fully clothed in a dress). To me, its just art and beauty that I appreciate and think looks cool.
Am I really being insensitive and disrespectful to her? Im not a pervert and have never cheated, or shown to her that she can't trust me. Yet I feel like this is limiting my freedom to just *be* and experience life.
But the I wonder if I really shouldn't do those things? Where do you draw the line between respecting a SO's insecurities? Are her insecurities placing unhealthy binds on me? I can't quite tell.
She has been insecure in other areas amd went into a rage one time when I disobeyed her insecurities of me walking 25 feet from a dirt ledge in a park (she was afraid I'd fall). That doesn't seen right, but this here is a different matter. So im just unsure where i need to find the healthy boundary. | Wife angry and feels disrespected that I was I photos with women in, to her, innappropriate" costumes of characters from games/comics. None where actually too revealing, just normal what you'd typically see at such events. |
t3_1rjfrq | tifu | TIFU and left a job interview in an ambulance | So I wasn't feeling well this morning and decided not to eat anything before going to a job interview at 2 pm. I've been unemployed for nearly three months now, so I was really freaking out that I needed the job very badly. As I was sitting in the lobby, which was pretty warm mind you, I started getting very dizzy and felt like I was going to vomit. Instead of waiting to throw up in the lobby, I wandered down the hall and found a kitchen but I couldn't find a garbage can. As I wandered in delirium I found my way into a copy room where I promptly fainted and face planted on a copy machine.
I don't know how long I was out for but I woke to a guy asking if I was ok and did this happen often? I kept maintaining that no, I was fine, until I touched my face and noticed my cheek and forehead were bleeding profusely. The receptionist came to check on me, and soon afterward the paramedics took me to the hospital to get patched up.
I don't think I'm going to get that job. | Before my job interview could start, I fainted, hit my head, and had to be taken to the hospital. |
t3_elyrm | AskReddit | Discovered random charge on credit card, disputed it, but had a question about this company "compsmania.com". | Long story short, as the title says I found a random charge of $20 on my CC from a place called "compsmania". They have a website that appears normal-ish, but as a computer tech it is no place I would ever purchase something (and have never unless I'm losing my mind), but I could imagine how someone else could.
The charge says it is based in Texas, and the contact number on the site/bank charge goes to a voicemail of some dude named "Don", iirc. No, "Thank you for calling compsmania" or anything remotely professional sounding.
Google pulls up extremely little about the company name (a handful of results with quotes) which has been little help in finding anything meaningful. | I have disputed the charge, and will most likely cancel the account this week, but was just curious if anyone has heard about a company called "compsmania". |
t3_2zf1zj | legaladvice | Don't talk to cops! Except... | I understand the mantra, "Don't talk to cops." And it's been hammered into my head repeatedly here, and I repeat it almost as often to others. However, the situation I'm in is a bit different.
Short version: After typing seven or eight paragraphs I figured I needed to be more succinct, so here it is.
At 2:09am on July 27, 2014 a lady knocks on my door asking for a ride in to town. I make up an excuse as I am uncomfortable with the idea (she looks stoned in my non-expert opinion). After I close the door, she steals a power tool off of my front porch.
I call the police, give them a DVD of my security camera footage showing the exchange, the theft, and a pretty good image of her face. Two Facebook friends confirm her identity so I give them her name, and the police immediately recognize her by the video.
They pick her up a few weeks later and charge her. She returns the scroll saw and says I "gave her permission to use it." Yeah, a perfect stranger asks to borrow a tool at 2am.
She's going to trial (she turned down a generous deal) since she was in trouble previously for some unrelated stuff and I assume is on probation).
So my dumb question is this: If the police ask me to come in and explain my side, do I? I am in no way the target of any investigation--I am the victim and I feel like at least some input will likely be needed from my end for things to proceed. But in the back of my head I keep hearing everyone on this sub saying, "DON'T TALK TO COPS, PERIOD." | Don't talk to cops. But someone robbed me. Can I talk to them to help them prosecute the person who did it? |
t3_13j11y | relationships | How do I do this alone f(20)? | My boyfriend, 23, and I have gone through a lot in our 1 year relationship. The ups and downs in the relationship triggered my depression to deepen. I started going to therapy and I just started taking antidepressants.
I'm so vulnerable right now. We are more or less broken up but still on talking terms. This is the time I need him the most and I can't have him by my side. It is such an awful feeling. I know that we both need to work on our problems before starting a relationship but I feel so weak. How do I do this? | After many ups and downs, the relationship is more or less over. I am feeling so weak and want him by my side now more than ever. |
t3_45l2hh | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [36M] is mad... all because I said Deadpool was hot. | This is probably the stupidest thing I've ever had to write.
So, last night, my boyfriend and I went to see Deadpool. It was amazing! I'm not much into comics, but he is. Somewhere in the movie I mentioned that I found Deadpool attractive in his suit (he's not that ugly outside of the suit, in my opinion). After that my boyfriend just got kinda, I don't know, weird. He was quiet and didn't touch me after that.
After the movie he was still keeping it up so I just went ahead and asked him what the deal was. Finally, he admitted that he wished I never mentioned finding Deadpool attractive. I tried telling him that was pretty dumb, considering I mostly meant the suit, and mentioned the fact that he could go on and on about how hot Scarlett Johansson is. He said it was different, because while he can't go fuck Scar Jo, I could easily go out and meet someone in a Deadpool suit.
It sounds so unreal. I just told him whatever, if he was going to act like a child then I wasn't going to be hanging around him. I just went back to my apartment. It's been a couple hours and he hasn't texted me or responded to my snapchats. What the fuck do I do? | Boyfriend is upset I thought Deadpool's suit was attractive. Does he think I'd go out and cheat on him with a cosplayer? |
t3_2slxe3 | tifu | TIFU by coughing up a tonsils stone. | This fuck up happened last night and it is honestly pretty gross.
So I work at a Five Guys's burger joint and on this particular day I was manning the flat top. This happened around 6pm on a Thursday so the grill was full of patties. In this particular restaurant, the grill is facing away from the customers so my back is turned to them.
I felt something in the back of my throat and coughed lightly to try and get whatever it was, out. Turns out it was a tonsil stone slightly smaller than a pea. My cough was too hard and the mongoloid I am had my mouth open. I will take this time to tell you that the smell of a tonsil stone cooking on a flat top isn't too pleasant. The reaction with the heat also makes those fuckers act all crazy on the grill, melting/dancing around. By the time I could react it was gone and that was that. Since I'm still fairly new to my job and still on probation I didn't tell anyone in fear of punishment. So I served everyone of those patties. I know I'm fucked. | I coughed a tonsil stone out onto the grill of a very busy burger joint. Didn't tell anyone and proceeded to serve all of the meat that was around it. |
t3_1ghdm9 | relationships | Me[17M] with my girl [16F] 3 months, shores of indecision | Ok, so we dated for a three months then broke up She was my first kiss, first bang, first gf, first first first
About two weeks after our breakup, her best friend(16f) and I start chatting This culminates in hanging out with her at her house, where we kissed and petted a bit. Haven't talked since
Now about four weeks after the breakup, I'm hanging out with my first gf again. Should I tell her about the kiss or not? I want to be honest with her because we might get back together
Any opinions against this, is this bad enough for us to stay away from each other? | kissed gf's best friend a while after breaking up, now rekindling with gf, whut to do |
t3_4iktq6 | relationships | Religion differences M(21) F(19) | hey Reddit, this is a throwaway account obviously and I'm sorry if this is sappy or in the wrong forum but I have a problem...
My girlfriend(18) and I(21) have been dating for a little over a year and I see myself with her in the long run, marriage wise. The only problem at the moment is that we are both different religions and wouldn't convert to each other's religions if we were to get married.
Recently she came up to me out of nowhere saying she wants to go on a LDS mission and I am happy for her. But when we started dating, she was not active in her church and did not agree with most of it. But recently she's been active. Again, the problem is that she wants me to convert if we were to get married but I don't want to convert. I love her with all my heart but we can't decide what we should do since we love each other so much. All we do now is cry thinking about the worst which is breaking up.
If any of you have advice or know someone that went through the the same, leave a comment.
Sorry if this is all jumbled. I'm just very emotional right now and not sure what to do. | fell in love, we have different religious beliefs, she wants to go on an LDS mission and I'm not sure if I want to make the if decision and convert for her |
t3_2hrn76 | tifu | TIFU by masturbating at my High School in public | It was September 18th, and I was as horny as rabbit on steroids. I decided to try to get off by discreetly fapping in the open. I went to my high school at around 7pm, so there was nobody present. I located one of the lunch tables where certain girls ate their food, and started furiously pounding my meat. I eventually shot a monstrous load on the table, which was about 4 inches by 2 inches. Then, I pull up my pants and look behind the slime scene, and what do I see? The janitor in the distance, about 80 feet away, emptying a trash can. I could tell by his expression that he had seen shit. I show up the next day, and they had quarantined the entire table with yellow tape. Apparently, they were going to do a deep cleaning of the area, because it was a health hazard. I thought that was the worst that could happen, but later that day, my name is called on the intercom, and they usher me to the vice principal. The janitor was able to ID me! The vice principal talks to me for a half hour saying how what I did was horrible and unsanitary, and a violation of basic policies. When I came back to class, it was obvious that a lot of people knew what I did. When I came home, my parents had got the call, and from what they heard, I urinated on the table, rather than ejaculated. I thought that was about the best stroke of luck I had that gotten since the incident, but then they started accusing me of drinking beer, talking about how there was a case missing from the fridge. I had no idea about any of that, but I just agreed to save myself from further embarrassment. So as of today, I am alienated from everybody at my school, and have lost the trust of my parents. I'm also grounded, but I don't really care about that because of the other stuff that's going on. | Masturbated at my school in public at night; Janitor identified me; Everybody knows I did it and my parents think I drink beer. |
t3_1lykqa | relationships | My (F21) friend (F21) judges people only by their political views and it bothers me. | I live in Israel. I have a very good friend, we grew up together and we share a lot of interests. We talk a lot about politics and philosophy and ethics and religion because she's the kind of person you can talk to about these stuff and I love it.
She has right-wing opinions, both on economics and the Palestinian thing. She's not an extremest at all and she's very reasonable but that's what she believes. I'm a bit more liberal and my opinions are very flexible. I don't care about stuff as much as her.
Lately I feel like she cares about people's political opinions too much. I show her youtubers I like (we're both youtube addicts) and she gets personally offended when they say something against Israel. She wouldn't forget it and it makes her think less of them. I lend her a book and the only thing she has to comment about is the teeny tiny mention of Israel. I bring up a musician in a conversation and the first she asks is if they are anti-Zionist. That really bothers me because I feel like we lose a lot of what we share because she focuses on one aspect of a person and I think it also sucks for her because she misses on amazing stuff.
I told her it she should let it go and she told me she can't control how she feels. I asked if she thinks less of me because I have different opinions than her and she said no because she knows I respect her opinions (to which I replied: I don't respect you opinion about John Green!). It's starting to really annoy me. Should I just avoid bringing up anything that might hurt her? Should I just live with it and let her have those feelings?
I don't want this to grow into something that makes it not fun for me to hang out with her because she's great and I don't have many friends. Please help. | She has more conservative views than me and gets personally offended by books, bands and famous people. I find it annoying but I really value our friendship. |
t3_37d3ty | relationships | Update: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [33 M] of 6 months, I just found out recently that I am 2 months pregnant and he isn't happy about it. | [original post]( | My boyfriend came around, is on board with the pregnancy, his past was the cause of his initial reaction. We still have a lot to work on including learning to be good parents and financial issues. |
t3_3dh891 | relationships | I [19 M] am in love with my sister [16 F]. How do I tell her this? | Please just hear me out on this. Me and my sister grew up apart. Our parents were separated and I lived with our dad while she lived with our mom. We did this because our mom remarried and I didn't get along with her new husband. We knew about each other's existence, but we didn't see each other much. A few months ago, she decided to move in with me and my dad because she was going through problems with our mom and wanted to be away.
I really wanted to get to know her since we're sibling, so I started hanging out with her more. We talked a lot about our problems like she's bulimic and I do pills, and we understand each other. I started liking her in a sibling way, but then I also started liking her in a romantic way.
I know this is wrong, but at the same time, I don't really understand how this could be wrong when I feel the way I do about her. I don't love her in a lusty, cheap way. I love her in her entirety, and I think she feels the same way about me.
I think we both feel the same way, but neither of us dare admit it because it's wrong. I think I should be the one to bring it up first, but I don't really know how. It feels wrong that I love her, but I feel that telling her about it is the right thing to do, but at the same time, I worry that she might not feel the same way, and I'll ruin the relationship we currently have. | I am in love with my sister, but I don't know how to tell her about it or if I should tell her at all. |
t3_1jiswq | relationships | Me[19M] with my ex [20F] Best friend getting too close. (FWB) | Me and my girlfriend dated for about 3 years. We had a mutual break up last Nov, because we both wanted different things. After the break up we still kept and touch and soon became FWB (Friends with benefits). Basically for us this was a long break before we got back together.
Things seemed the same as they were when we're dating. She made it open really open and we could fool around with others, but in the end we came back to each other. (Note* only she was the only one playing around). I wanted to stay loyal towards her.
When we would always hang out with our friends, she'd constantly be flirting with my best friend. I know I have no right to interfere, but it was killing me inside. My best friend told me he would never go after anyone's EX. But seeing how he was acting towards her I had second thoughts. Throughout the months he's been acting more cold towards me and extremely close to her. I tried talking to her don't do this, but her reply was you should've told me before I
started it's too late now.
She told me she didn't like him at all and just wanted to play with him. Constantly she'd provoke him as far as she could, until he did something. I kept telling her if you keep doing that he'll like you... In her mind that made it even more fun for her. I was sitting back watching this happen in front of my eyes.
My best friend was getting more intimate with her as we hang out.
Now she tells me she wants to have FWB with him, but only if he doesn't like her. I constantly tell her he does by the way he's been acting, and how she is leading him on. But she won't believe me and is going to ask him soon. If this did happen and in a year and my EX get back together, will things be the same...
NOTE* My best friend talked to me a few months ago saying don't worry there is nothing going on between me and her. | Ex acting very close to my best friend, which supposedly won't do anything. (PS me and ex are still seeing each other) |
t3_4zgyp3 | relationships | I [18 F] still have trust issues due to my ex [19 M] cheating on me for ~5 months | We were casual acquaintances for several in my sophomore year of high school, his junior, before we started dating over the summer. It was my first relationship, I hadn't even gone on a date or kissed anybody before. He knew this and was very reassuring. Everything about the relationship seemed perfect at the time.
A little background on me: I've known for a long time that I probably have an undiagnosed anxiety/paranoia disorder. Basically I'm not particularly trusting of others. But I made a vow to myself that I would try to be a normal teenager and just go with whatever life threw at me while I could. So I dismissed any doubts I had as my normal overthinking/paranoia.
One night, the fall after we started dating, I get a text from his phone number. He told me he was hanging out with friends that night, so I thought it was a joke at first. The text said something along the lines of "I'm _____'s girlfriend, who are you? Sorry this must be a little shocking." Turns out it was completely true. He was dating this other girl on and off for about two years when he started dating me. She didn't have any clue about me either.
I broke up with my bf over text that night. Him cheating immediately invalidated every part of our relationship in my mind. We didn't see each other for a few months, but it was in a work environment and we didn't speak to each other. I haven't seen him since, almost a year and a half ago now.
I haven't had a relationship since, either. It took me almost a year to even think about dating again, but I'm still terrified to throw caution to the wind and let anyone be that close to me again. Getting cheated on only served to make me more wary of others. I'm going to college, and I want advice on how to get past this mental block. | My first bf cheated on me for the entirety of our relationship, now I can't get rid of my trust issues. |
t3_2a3ikd | relationships | Me [24F] with my new friend[25 M] likes me a lot and is super nice, but I feel skittish. | So this dude is a new friend he is super nice. He opens doors for me has a southern charm about him. He is funny, and my family likes him. So he is a really nice guy easy going and I like him. But I got scared because I feel like he is too nice. Not in a creepy way just says all the right things. He says I am cute, is playful, he kinda gives off this vibe that he wants or likes to take care of others. And is very open with me. But I get scared off and feel my self close off.
Which sounds silly I know. But I think it is because of my ex bf of 7 years as of February, was really manipulative, emotionally abusive, a cheater and just made me loose a lot of trust in people. I also wonder if I am moving on to fast but I am tired of feeling hurt and pain and this nice guy. I don't want to hurt him or lead him on. He is very patient with me said we could be friends first which we have agreed upon. He knows the past I had with my ex.
So how do I fix this? Is it too soon for me to move on to someone new? And why am I scared of some one who is nice to me. Like it scares me that he likes me so much, and I feel bad for feeling this way.. | Met a nice dude but I am scared of how nice he is to me. Wondering why I am so scared of someone being so nice to me. |
t3_1oi56a | relationships | I [23 M] have been with my 23 [23F] gf for 6 years and don't know if I want to get married. | I've been with her for 6 years, and I do love her. However recently she's been hinting at marriage. I understand that it's reasonable to at this point in dating.
But... when I'm with her, I dont feel like "wow I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her!"
My things that aren't "perfect" are usually that she doesn't like sex as much as me and she's not super financially responsible/money driven. We've also broken up twice in the past for various reasons.
Anyone have any advice for what I should do? We recently moved in together, and it's had its ups and downs but overall it's been going smoothly. | I love gf but don't really think "omgosh I need to marry her" She's most likely expecting to get married in the future. |
t3_2y2fzl | relationships | I [32M] feel like a jerk for being sorta bothered by the fact that my GF [30F] of 2.5 years doesn't shave her armpits | I also feel kinda dumb bringing this up now, because it's not a new thing. She's had hairy armpits since the day I met her.
I've just never felt like it was my place to say anything. It's never been addressed in any respect by either of us. She's never said anything at all in reference to it.
I just don't believe that that kind of thing is anyone's *responsibility*, you know? I don't shave any of my body hair, I wouldn't expect someone else to, especially for my sake. It's just kind of always at least a little on my mind, though. When we're having sex, it's like... how do I put this... like when you're talking to someone with a really noticeable mole. You're exhausting at least a little effort to focus on not looking at it. When my hand accidentally grazes the hair or something, I'll instinctively move my hand away super fast, as if a bee just landed on it.
The thing that makes me feel like the biggest asshole, though (and I would never say this to her, in a million years), is that when we're hanging out with friends, and she's wearing a tanktop or something, I'm actually a little embarrassed.
I just don't know, I think she's beautiful, and I love her, and I could probably just keep this to myself forever, but it's obviously on my mind enough that I post this here. It just feels like someone has been calling me by the wrong name for a long time, and I've never corrected them, and if I brought it up *now*, after two and a half years, it'd be like, "Why didn't you say anything earlier?" And on top of that, I would continue to not expect anything from her on the matter even if I brought it up. It's not like an ultimatum or anything. Meaning that it'd have the potential to be nothing more than an uncomfortable conversation. | Girlfriend has always had hairy pits. I think it's kinda yucky in an extremely petty way. Wondering how I could address it without being an asshole. Also wondering whether or not it's even worth bringing up at all. |
t3_2ztcn1 | relationships | (M20) My girlfriend (F18) has been really making me second think our relationship | So my girlfriend and I have had a pretty good relationship until this point. We both played around with each other and we've been very happy overall. Good communication, good everything.
Couple weeks ago this has started to change. She wants everything to be OURS, she wants me to just share everything with her and not get upset when she wants to use my car for het business.
She didn't have a job and I didn't really mind it you know, I gave her a card to my account so she could use it for groceries while I'm at work and stuff. I make a pretty decent living alone so I never really cared all that much. Until she said it was HER bank account too, and HER money too, and HER car too. And I tried telling her that it's my stuff, the fact that I let her use it is off my disclosure and of my choice.
This argument of everything being hers when she hardly contributes to the monetary things on our relationship is really starting to drag me down and reconsider what our relationship really is.
I love her and would do anything for her, but this self entitlement to everything without anything in return is really starting to take a toll on our relationship. We're supposed to move to California in a couple months and she's never had a job before. I alone will not be able to pay everything in California but she says she will get a job once we move. I beg to differ but keep my mouth shut as to not cause another argument.
I'm just tired of all of this arguing over something I thought was very clear. Any advice? | I am reconsidering my relationship based on a self entitlement my girlfriend has come up with abd is running our relationship to the ground with. |
t3_lv44t | AskReddit | What is the coolest gift you have ever given? | I'll start:
A few years ago I couldn't decide what to get my friend and money seemed a bit boring at the time, so my idea was to make money a bit more fancy. After buying 2 new roles of packing tape and $200 in coins, I made a massive ball out of it.
Unfortunately my friend didn't really find any practical use for a ball to money stuck together so half a year later he gave it back with an extra few hundred dollars in it.
This has gone on for a few years now and I guess the ball has about $800 - $1200 and we have no way to get to it. Last time I weighed it it was about 30Kg and about the size of a soccer ball (bit smaller than a basketball). worth about 1000 dollars | made a ball of money which has been re-gifted back and forth for a few years. weights 30kgs and is just smaller than a basketball |
t3_2s81we | relationship_advice | (15/m) I cant get these bitches to stop messing with me and my girlfriend (15/F) | So I me and this girl have been together for over a year now. Around mid way through I made a mad post saying that I didnt want to be with her and that I liked someone else. It wasnt true and only caused more problems in our relationship. 3 weeks ago she confessed she liked someone else. Things went down and ended with me keeping her. Thats a whole nother story by itself
Now today I was in the hall minding my own business when these fucking bitches ran up to me and took photos of me and videos saying they were going to post them. I said fuck off and they posted them. OBviously they cut out the fuck off part. My girlfriend now thinks that I like them and that I walk in the halls with them at school when she is not around. I seriously fucking hate them and want an effiencent way to tell my girlfriend I fucking hate them and to get her to believe me. Me simply telling her I dont like them wont make her believe shit as I have lied about other things in the past that I should never have.
She says she wants to break up with me from all the fucking drama that people cause us. She will not respong to my messages anymore | My girlfriend is mad because she thinks some bitches who ran up to me and took a video of me like me and that I like them. |
t3_4gacup | relationships | Me [15M] stood up for my lesbian mom's [30's] at school and now they are mad at me | When my mom was 20 she had me and my dad wanted nothing to do with me. My mom discovered she was gay and has been with her partner (other mom) for 13 years.
I have lived all my life and I think having two mom's has turned me out fine.
last week Tuesday at school though My mom's had to come in to speak to my English teacher. I am dyslexic so I struggle alot in English.
This guy Kyle must have saw me with them, I have no idea how he knew they were my moms. In English on Thursday the teacher asked me to read something and I was struggling"
This dick head made the comment " This is what happens when someone is raised by lesbians". I turned around and I started to head towards him to fight him and my girlfriend stood up and told me to stop it.
My biological mom had to come to the school and I got off easy with a warning about fighting.
I got a tongue lashing from from both of them when I got home. They were yelling at me saying " they did not raise someone who fights other people, how they are disappointed, learn to ignore idiots"
I pleaded that I was only sticking up for them, they said " Does not matter, you do not fight other people"
They grounded me for the weekend and my girlfriend takes their side. She said to me " I know your mad and kyle is a dick. But you cannot go around wanting to fight people over a comment that only makes him look bad, what would have hitting him have accomplished. you better apologise to your mothers."
I just don't understand why I am in the wrong. He insulted the people who raised me and I was just sticking up for them. Am I in the wrong for trying to fight him? because I feel I am in the right.
If I had taught him a lesson he would never say that shit again. If I am wrong what can I do for them to say I am sorry and it will never happen again? | A guy in class made a comment about my mom's. I tried to stand up for them by wanting to fight this guy and now my moms are made at me |
t3_vvnvl | relationships | Is there any good way to address weight gain with your SO? | I'm 23f, boyfriend is 24m. I'm not a crazy person, but I've always maintained a level of physical fitness with myself and eat pretty healthily (most of the time). My philosophy is that you get one body, so you may as well take care of it. It helps that I enjoy exercise.
My boyfriend has gained over 50 pounds in the past 3 years we've been together. We both used to be on a sports team in college, and that kept him svelte despite his poor eating habits. Since graduating, he spends most of his time sitting, hates exercise, and continues eating poorly. He did have a period where he lost 10 pounds, which excited both of us, but he seemed to lose motivation after that victory.
He doesn't like how he looks, but it's not motivating enough for him to change anything. I'm not less physically attracted to him because of it, but I'm worried that he's so young to have such unhealthy habits. But I AM less attracted due to his lack of motivation. He finds exercising with me frustrating because it shows him how far he's gone downhill. I don't bring up the issue with him, but when he complains about it, it's hard for me not to get frustrated because he's in charge of his own fate, and I know he can do it if he'd just try.
How should I approach this? Or should I do anything at all? | Boyfriend has gained 50 pounds in 3 years. I'm concerned about his health, how can I approach it?* |
t3_e6tha | relationship_advice | Mixed religious couples: Can it work? Specifically, Jews and Christians. | My BFF is getting into a serious relationship with her Jewish boyfriend.
When the discussion of marriage and kids came up, he said that he expected her to convert to Judaism and that he wanted (expected?) to raise their children Jewish. When she said that she wanted to celebrate Christmas, he said that it would overlap with Hanukkah and would be confusing.
Now, she's not super religious by any means, but she believes in God/Jesus Christ and wants to celebrate Christmas. In fact, her father is a church Pasteur. (Things are complicated already with the lack of parental approval... can't make this stuff up!)
Otherwise, their relationship is amazing in every other respect.
Any advice? | Guy is Jewish, Girl is Christian. Guy wants Girl to convert. "There is no Christmas." Girl sad. Advice for making mixed religion relationships work? |
t3_14cq2m | relationships | Is it ever a good idea to revisit a "toxic relationship"? 27 y/o female (me) and 25 y/o female | I'm going to try to make this as short as I can, sorry in advance for rambling.
Back in high school in 2001, I met a girl the year below me, we became friends extremely fast. Example: I had known her less than a month when I cut off the majority of my hair in an effort to prove something to her, and lied about it to friends until they saw it, we told everyone I had shaved my head. I fell in love with her, but never actually told her how much I cared for her. The relationship never became romantic, no matter how much I secretly had wanted it to. There was lots of manipulation on both of our parts, and our friendship was volatile. Notes to one another about love and hate (Don't hate me! I love you! Leave me alone! You're my best friend! Etc). Too many hugs that convinced me she had intentions that she wasn't being honest about.
I came out to her as bisexual at some point and all I got from her was "Why does everybody always come out to meeeee?" There was a couple vicious fights and by the time I graduated, I had met my now fiance, and she was besties with another girl, who I suspect she is no longer friends with, even after rooming together in college.
Recently, she has begun to comment on and like my Facebook statuses. She asked me if I was going to the alumni football game, which I was not, we then exchanged phone info, she said she'd like to hang out, get dinner. My fiance hates her based on my stories alone, doesn't even know her. My one or two friends left from high school despise her. She was probably bad for me and I was probably bad for her. I'm hoping that we were just foolish kids, acting very immaturely. Perhaps all these years later, we might be better at this?
Also of note: My fiance and I have begun a open relationship in which we are permitting one another to have same-sex relationships. Not sure if this may influence my behavior. | Old frienemy I had a bad crush on is being friendly on facebook, not sure if I should pursue a friendship with her. |
t3_1smsur | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [23 F] of 2 years, how do you recognize love? | So I've been with this amazing girl (let's call her Kim) for 2 years now, and for the past month I feel like the honeymoon period is over and I've started having doubts about my love for her, which is driving me crazy.
Kim is amazing in every way and I definitely feel lucky to be with her. She's insanely cute, she's madly in love with me, I enjoy every second spent with her, and in the intimate side I like kissing her, cuddling with her, laying in bed next to her, even the sex is amazing.
She's basically all I've ever wanted and I would definitely see myself spending the rest of my life with her, and I know she does too.
But for the past month, when I look at her I can't feel the infatuated love that I was feeling before. When I see her coming to my house, it went from "Yes! My love is here!" to "Oh hey that's Kim". She became, in my mind, my best friend (with benifits): with whom I can be myself, laugh and have fun, share my feelings with her... but is that love?
These doubts about my love for her are driving me crazy. I've started to think maybe she deserves better, then once I imagine breaking up with her, I start having anxiety attacks because I really don't want to lose her.
So how do you recognize love? Do you always need to feel the belly "butterflies" when you see her to know you're in love? Or is simply knowing you're lucky to be with this fantastic girl enough to say that you love her? | I don't know if I still love my girlfriend of 2 years since I can't feel a "chemical" feeling anymore when I see her, but she's basically everything I've ever wanted and I'm scared to lose her. |
t3_2t23dg | relationships | Do you think I'm (19,M) over reacting to her (19) MCM post on Facebook... (1yr) | Okay so this morning I wake up to my hfs man crush Monday post. It was Sydney Rice, an ex Seattle Seahawks player. Now I don't really mind the post itself... I just hate the Seahawks.. Always have. So I commented "ewww thumbs down!" And commented, "when your muscles are as big as his come see me" okay again, that normal doesn't bug me, but it got me to thinking about some things I've said.
There was a time for example where I was talking about some girls mom and how the mom was really pretty but it did not carry over to the daughter. That pissed her off and she was mad at me for a few hours over me literally saying a girl was pretty. If I say anything regarding a girls looks or anything positive really I get roasted by her. So therefor I have a right to be pissed about something like that right????? | gf posts s MCM. Usually doesn't bother me but I just got to thinking, if I ever did anything like that I would get yelled at by her. That's wrong right? |
t3_f74bc | relationships | breaking no-contact with ex (she dumped me) | I'm almost 30 (guy) and have been in a 7 year relationship that ended about 2 months ago. We were pretty much engaged, had gotten a ring together, etc. I'd say our relationship was overall positive -- she was my best friend -- but we definitely had our ups and downs. Anyway, 2 months ago she pretty much broke up with me saying that she doesn't want to marry me, we're not romantically attached, etc. She said we're going in separate directions and right now we should be apart (and who knows, maybe in the future we'd end up together).
I was devastated for a month. I couldn't eat, work, etc. I decided to go no-contact, started working out, and put up a profile for online dating. I've gone on several dates, and right now feel much better and more attractive. I think one girl I met is awesome and as of yesterday I was actually interested in pursuing her to see if we could form a relationship.
Anyway, this morning I get an email from my now ex saying she had a dream about coming back to me. About how everything she said was wrong, and I've always been the support she needed in life. She said she woke up in a panic and she's been having more anxiety attacks lately. She said she doesn't expect me to be that support now but wanted to let me know how she appreciated me in her life (in the past).
I have not replied to this email...should I? Frankly don't know what to do at this point. I feel like I was well along the way to getting over her. I definitely don't want to ever again go through that month of pain when we broke up.
Need help. | ex broke up with me 2 months ago. I went no-contact to take care of myself. she just sent me an email about how she dreamed that I took her back. what to do now? |
t3_1ixncs | college | How to ask college professor for a higher grade? | So my dilemma currently is I just finished my Intro to logic class for the summer with a 79.85% course grade without including the 78% final grade which makes up 30% of the course grade. It was an online course and I have had brief emails with the professor before regarding books and where to find assignments online (small talk). So I ask you Reddit how should I ask for a higher grade bump to that 80%. On a side note this is standard grading in a community college meaning a 79% is the same thing as a 70% and an 80% is the same thing as 89%. Also If someone could do the math with 79.85% including the 78% (counts for 30% of final course grade). | I need to know how to ask my professor from a grade 78-79% to an 80% for the final course grade. Forgot to include she is a middle aged Indian women |
t3_1lplhk | relationship_advice | [23/f] My boyfriend [27/m] doesn't know if I am worth fighting for | We've been together on and off for almost three years. In the first year I did some shit I am really not proud of. I slept with another guy (we weren't officially together yet) but we somehow "worked it out" or ignored it I guess. So a few months later we were official. Everything was great in the beginning. But about 2 months later the guy I slept with (who is quite a good friend) kissed me and I didnt directly beat him up..but I told my bf eventually and of course it was horrible for him and as well for me. He still dont trust me with this but on the other hand I dont trust him either concerning other women.
Our relationship went on and it was really hard sometimes but there were times when it was really good. About a year ago it was kind of perfect but shordly afterwards he moved to another country for his phd. It made things more difficult, we didnt see each other as often as we wanted to and he barely talked to me about his feelings or what he thinks.
So we're quite different, we like different things and I was always tense when he was here because I didnt want to make a mistake that pushes him further away.
Two weeks ago a good friend of his broke up with her boyfriend because she didnt see any future. And that made him think about me and our future and suddenly he isn't sure anymore. He isn't sure if he wants to be with me or if it's worth fighting for. I know we have our problems but I am really willing to work on them, especially on the trust issues but he just doesn't know if he wants it.
I wanted to spend my future life with him, I wanted kids with him and now everything just seems to slip away and I dont know what to do about it. Do you have any advice? Right now it's not healthy anymore.. I can't stop crying and I can't talk to him because he's on a conference and well doesn't know if he wants to be with me any longer. | My boyfriend doesn't know if he wants to be with me anymore and if our relationship is worth fighting for and working ob our problems like trust issues and being completely different |
t3_cwyl0 | AskReddit | Moving to a new city for college. Can Reddit give me advice on renting? | I'm moving from DC Metro area to Richmond, VA in 3 weeks to finish up my bachelor's degree at VCU. I only got my acceptance letter a week ago, so this is coming up very quickly.
Next Wednesday I plan on going to Richmond to look for apartments/houses to rent. Should I go through a realtor? Do they charge you? Should I make a list of apartments I found on the internet and just go visit them?
Also, I am currently employed but will not be working when I move there. I am waiting for my financial aid package, but I anticipate $5,500 in Pell grant and about $10,000 in federal student loans. Will I be able to secure a lease with my paystubs from my current job and my award package? I will have enough money for the security deposit and first month's rent before my financial aid money comes through.
Also, just general tips and tricks. I'm a little nervous because I will be living with my 3 year old twins alone for the first time. (Quit college at 19, married, had twins, divorced.) | Need pro-tips on how to rent in a city I don't live in yet. Also, concerned about getting a lease with no employment, only student loans. |
t3_2jhaei | tifu | TIFU by bringing my girlfriend to Sbarros for our two week aniversary | Hi Reddit it was me and my girlfriends two week anniversary (and third date!!!!) today and I decided that tonight I would treat. I live in a pretty small town and there isn't really all that many options, (especially in my price range for two meals!!). But the one place that I really REALLY enjoy that my family always goes to for special ocasions is Sbarros. I know it might not be considered the fanciest place but the food is really extremely good way better than just about any other restaurant any where near by! And quite affordable too which was nice for me!!!!
Anyway so it's the third date and I am thinking that I might get a chance to kiss her on this date. I tell her that I am surprising her with where we will go and we walk to Sbarros. Outside the restraunt when she realized where we were going I could kinda see her face fall but I figured that once she tried the food she would understand! Unfortunatly her prejudices stuck with her I think and she couldnt get past her initial reaction and enjoy the food and ended up barely eating her meal at all which I had to finish it for her. She didn't talk much during our date.
I walked her home and said good night. I didn't get a kiss. I've texted her a few times since the date ends but she hasnt responded. I really like her and I hope she doesn't break up with me over this so hopefully she accepts my apology and we will have a better date next time. | My girlfriend didn't enjoy Sbarros as much as I expected and isn't responding to my texts and now I'm worried that I might be single again :( I really hope not though I really like her! |
t3_4l5h2a | relationships | My [31F] Grandmother [91/F] has dementia. She's forgotten that my Grandfather died years ago and I don't know what to tell her | So my Grandfather died seven years ago. My Granny coped okay for a while, but at the end of last year she had a few falls and we (my brother and I, her only family) realised that she couldn't look after herself any longer.
She's now in a nursing home. She's happy there mostly, and definitely safer, but her mental capabilities have really started to suffer. Up until recently she knew that Grandpa had died, but now she always asks where he is, wonders where he is sleeping (with another woman?) or gets upset thinking he is angry at her 'because he's only visited me twice the whole time I've been in here.'
One time we told her that he was dead and she was visibly shocked...and didn't believe us. Now we don't know what to do. Everything I've seen online says to play along gently with the delusion, but she gets really upset that he's angry and ignoring her.
Does anyone have experience with this, and what is actually best to do in the long run? | Grandmother has forgotten her husband has died, thinks he is angry and ignoring her and we don't know what to tell her. |
t3_3489x9 | tifu | TIFU by wearing a Hot Dog Costume to school | So here is the obligatory this didn't happen today, this happened about 5 years ago when I was in seventh grade.
I was a small kid with long blonde hair and was pretty annoying looking back now. It was Halloween and I decided to wear a hot dog costume to school as many other kids dressed up as well. (What it looked like: ) I thought my costume was hilarious. One teacher was obsessed with it. He thought it was super funny and couldn't get enough. He was a weird man but by far the most liked teacher in the school. So as the day starts progressing some kids found it funny and decided to start calling me "Wiener". It barely caught on that day but which made my case worse was that during cross country practice, I had decided to wear my costume while running. This had caused 3 different teams to chant "Wiener! Wiener! Wiener!" every time I had ran passed them. I thought it was hilarious. I mean what 12 year old kid wouldn't. It wasn't until the next day that the name stuck. And I was called Wiener by almost everyone that I spoke to until the end of middle school which was 8th grade. Now I am a junior and high school and I realize that it was kind of fucked up that I was called Wiener for so long and had no problem with it. To this day a small portion of kids still call me Wiener as if its my actual name. Yep so I was the kid everybody called Wiener in middle school... | Wore a hot dog costume to school and while I ran during cross country practice and got called Wiener by everyone for the years to come. |
t3_35bvd4 | relationships | Me [28F] Feel weird about something that happened 10+ years ago | So I don't know why but this has been bugging me lately.
When I was in high school I made friend with a lot of people a grade or two younger than me. This resulted in me knowing people several grades younger than me through association. When I was 18 I was hanging out with a mixture of guys and girls (there were maybe 6 of us.) The age ranges were 15-18. I was 18. One of the guys mentioned "the uncomfortable game" and I asked what that was and they said that two guys get closer and closer to each other (with the intent to kiss) and the first person to back down loses. I said I had heard of this game but it was people start taking off items of clothing and the first one to stop loses. They thought this was hilarious and two of them (both guys) started. The youngest guy was 15. It was funny for about 2 seconds and then I got really uncomfortable as I realized I was the oldest and the 15 year old was taking his pants off (still wearing underwear) so I left. Never saw anyone's junk.
Ironically, I'm still friends with most everyone in the group (we are all in our mid-late 20s) including the guy who was 15 at the time. However, I still feel really gross and weird about what happened. It's been 10 years and I highly doubt they even remember it (I went to college soon after, but I know they continued to do this kind of stuff all through high school.) Did I do something wrong? Anything illegal? It's been bothering me a lot lately. | When I was in 18, I saw a 15 year old guy get down to his boxers in a social setting (with other people there) and realized I shouldn't be there so I left. Did I do anything wrong? |
t3_y1izh | AskReddit | At what point would you consider yourself to be too nice of a guy? And for the women of AskReddit, when do you think a guy's niceness overtakes his masculinity? | Self explanatory. Felt like I've been too nice of a person too much of my life and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere because of it, as far as a man. | I'm a pussy and a nice guy combined into one big nice pussified black guy who can't change himself for whatever reason and I feel like it's because I'm too nice. |
t3_2s9uzy | personalfinance | I'm getting paid $200 a week for the next 50 weeks, what should I do with it? | I'm a college kid who just won a settlement that will be paying me 200 a week for the next 50 weeks. Don't really have anyone else helping me financially but through work I have enough money for lifestyle I live and have no real use of the extra money at this time.
There are a few medical supplies I will have to purchase costing around $500, so the first three weeks will go toways that expense but after that I would like to invest/grow the money in the best way possible as opposed to blowing it on pizza and beer.
Any recommendations? Thanks in advance! | College kid with no need for the money getting 200 a week for the next 50 weeks, 10,000 total, what should I do with it? |
t3_nt2dp | AskReddit | So whats my best course of action for quite possibly the biggest dick move I have ever witnessed? | Long story short, I like this girl who we will refer to as C. Now C and I have a mutual friend who we will call J, and we are all seniors in high school. Rewind a few days to Christmas Eve, J and I are texting each other. We were talking about how we were gonna take C and teach her how to shoot a gun/watch her fall on her butt, and I said that I was going to ask her out right after we did that when I dropped her off at her house. J immediately started telling me that I shouldn't do it because he had already asked her out. I decided okay now I won't ask her out until I figure out how that goes. So last night I am texting C, and she tells me that J had just asked her out, but she didn't really say whether she liked him or not. I figured oh well I might as well still try. So then we come to today, the day we were gonna show her how to shoot a gun. I pick her up at her house and we go to J's house. Whole lesson goes along fine, then its time for me to leave, and I had assumed I was C's ride home. I was wrong, he knew that's when I was gonna ask her out, so that's when he made his plans with her. Does this qualify as a dick move? What is my best course of action here? | My friend told me he asked a chick I like out so I wouldn't, but in reality he only wanted to buy himself time to do the same, what should I do? |
t3_2nonv3 | tifu | TIFU by live-tweeting my family's Thanksgiving dinner | Long time lurker, first time poster here. Wanted to share with you my TIFU from Thanksgiving last night.
The background: this particular side of my extended family has never had a "normal" holiday dinner. At least one fight or argument will break out, guaranteed. Last year was particularly hilarious and it kills me that I have no record of it, so this year I decided to set up a twitter account just before dinner so that I could capture any funny quotes and arguments should they come up. As usual, the family did not disappoint. At points, relatives were yelling at kids, arguing about marijuana legalization, and suggesting Obama is mentally ill. I captured choice moments via Twitter and no one was the wiser, so I thought.
Turns out one of my teenage cousins, hooked on her smartphone and obsessed with social media, saw what I was doing next to her and while I was tweeting away, looked up the account I was using. After we left, she showed it to her mom, who told my grandparents. My entire family now believes I was maliciously broadcasting our private family dinner to the whole world. Despite my explanations that the account was brand new, with no followers to see the tweets, and no personal info, they don't care to understand and think the whole Internet is out to get them. Now I'm eating leftovers and avoiding eye contact, while you could cut the tension in this room with a knife. | tweeted my dysfunctional family's Thanksgiving dinner so I could have a record of it later. They found out and now I'm the family pariah. |
t3_1x8k5l | Parenting | Need advice! Stay at home dad having trouble with toddler and newborn | A little back story: I am a working mom with a 2 year old and a 13 week old. I work four 10 hour days, Tues-Fri. My husband decided to be a stay at home dad and start online school to finish his degree when our first child was born. I am able to support us financially and it ended up working out perfectly.
We just had baby number two and our plan was the same. I go back to work after maternity leave and husband stays home with the kids. We both knew that adding kid number two would be more of a challenge, but we felt we were ready for it.
The first week that I went back to work my husband told me that it was the hardest thing he had ever done. I figured he just needed to find his routine and the newborn needed to get used to the new routine. However, 4 weeks after going back to work, I feel like things are getting worse for my husband. Our newborn is very clingy and fussy when I am not around. He is a breastfed baby and does great when I am home on the weekends. He naps well, hardly ever fusses, and is already sleeping 10 hours through the night. When I am gone my husband struggles to get him down for a nap and endures what he calls "mega meltdowns" at least once daily. Then of course there is the 2 year old and she is VERY active (aren't they all).
I get texts or calls at work where my husband is desperate. Sometimes the texts say that he is losing his mind or he will call and tell me that he doesn't know what to do and he is very frustrated. This gives me serious anxiety since I am unable to do anything while at work. I already prep all meals and clean on the weekend so he doesn't have to do busy work while he is with them. Are there any dads (or moms!) who stay at home and could offer some advice for us? I keep telling him that the older the baby gets the easier it will get for him, but he's not so sure. | Husband is struggling with 2 year old and 13 week old while I am at work, need advice on ways to make it easier (if possible!) |
t3_3xbxez | relationships | My[27/F] mother[51/F] won't stop giving my daughter[2] coffee. | Hi there,
So as the title says, my mom won't stop giving my daughter coffee. I am a stay at home mom to 3 young kids. My 2 year old twins and my 1 year old. My life is quite hectic with all these little ones running around. My husband works long days, 6 days a week so isn't around much.
My mom helps out a whole lot. She's here almost every day to help me get groceries, do laundry, etc. I don't know how I would do any of this without her.
A few weeks ago while I was drinking some coffee my daughter asked me if she could have some too. When I said no she threw a fit. I thought it was strange because I thought she never had it before so why would she be so upset.
A few days later when my mom was over she made herself and myself some coffee. My daughter then asked my mom for some coffee and she just handed her the cup, and let her drink some. I immediately asked my mom why she would do that and she told me that it does no harm and she gives it to her all the time. I told her I did not want her to drink coffee and to please stop giving it to her.
My mom still hasn't stopped. She still gives her coffee in front of me like I've never said anything about it before. I keep telling her every time and I've gotten angry about it a few times too. My mom just shrugs it off and tells me not to whine so much..
I don't know what to do. I know coffee isn't the worst thing for my daughter, but it's still not good. My mom won't listen to me and respect my decision. I need her in my life though because she helps me so much. How can I get her to stop doing it without kicking her out of my life? | My mom helps me out in raising my kids and taking care of my housework. She won't stop giving my 2 year old coffee and refuses to listen to me saying no. |
t3_1ckg6r | relationship_advice | I [17/m] was, unfortunately, "friend zoned" by my romantic interest [16/f]. What now? | So, let's call my romantic interest A, because honestly, "romantic interest" is a pain to write and kind of sounds like I'm approaching this as a scientific study, which I'm definitely not. And as much as I dislike using the term "friend zone," I cannot think of a better way to put it. I'm not exactly eloquent. Anyhoo...
I was told by "A" that, to paraphrase, she's honestly not looking for a boyfriend at the moment, and is perfectly happy keeping our friendship where it is.
Now I can understand that, and I respect her sentiment, but I was just wondering how to proceed from here on out. I'm definitely not gonna just up and stop talking to her, because that feels like it'd be an extremely douche-y thing to do, but do I ease up on the throttle? Or do I proceed in a completely different way?
'Course, I haven't delved into my side of the spectrum yet, but as of now, it's fairly safe to say that I think I'm head over heels. So I'm slightly depressed, haha. | Hormones acting up, really want to date a girl, she's not interested in dating right now. What do I do now? |
t3_oxv5k | relationships | I keep over analyzing, and its pissing me off! How do I stop? | Specs: Me [23M], gf [22F], dating for about 2 months.
The title is pretty explanatory, but for background info: basically our relationship has been going AWESOMELY since the beginning. We click on so many levels, always enjoy hanging out together, similar life goals, not to mention she's incredibly attractive.
The problem is I have begun over analyzing damn near everything. I re-read through the texts that were sent almost every freekin day (sometimes multiple times) to see if I said anything that might have sounded stupid, or she said anything I should be worried about, anything that I could potentially read into. I do the same shit with Facebook. This all pisses me off even more because I've never been like this before. I've always been relatively secure with/confident in myself, and have never been in a position where I was worried that something will go wrong in the relationship. I've always been on the other end of this stuff, so I don't really know how to deal with this.
Whenever we are actually together hanging out, none of this shit matters and everything is just fine, so why do I keep doing this when it comes to digital communication? What can I do to stop this behavior? I don't want to be stressed about this stuff anymore, and I feel like I'm doing it 100% to myself. | The actual relationship is fine whenever we're together, but I keep over analyzing when it comes to texting/Facebook. How do I stop? |
t3_2g7urs | relationships | I [26M] have been seeing a girl [25F] who is still in a relationship with someone else. | I met this girl almost a month ago, since meeting we formed an instant bond, we have more chemistry then I have ever felt before. I can openly admit that I have fallen for this girl HARD. She is everything that I have looking for and more. except the problem, shes still in a relationship with someone else.
She after the second time we hung out she told me about the other guy. How they have been dating for 6 months, how they had just got back from a weekend trip to meet his family, and how she never sees him (he's a workaholic) besides once every two weeks. She said that she was going to end it with him before she ever met me because she knew it was not what she wanted but because of meeting his family she now has this stronger tie that she was having a hard time breaking.
Typically this is something that I would simply walk away from, I don't want any part of that, but something about this girl has me so hooked. The only way I have been so okay up to this point is the fact that she has been so honest with me the entire time, or at least I think she has.
Flash forward, its been almost 4 weeks since we met, we have hung out just about every other day spending all weekends together, and I have developed very strong feelings for this girl but he has still not broken up with the other guy. She hasn't seen him in this month long period either though. My brain says I'm getting played, my heart says to stick it out and wait. I've never been a jealous person but recently I sense it in myself, I'm having a very hard time sleeping and concentrating at work. This dilemma has completely consumed my life. When we are together I am on cloud nine, when were apart I'm loosing my mind.
My questions are:
- Do I wait longer? if so how long?
- Should I just cut it off and move on
- Can I ever really trust this girl later, she's technically a cheater. | I've been dating a girl for a month seeing each other all the time developed a strong feelings, but she is in a relationship with another guy whom she never sees or talks to but she wont break up with him. |
t3_4o2m28 | relationships | I [23M] am leery of the future with my [23F] girlfriend when we argue. | This is my first serious relationship and we have been dating for few months. Her personality is stronger and more expressive than mine in general. My main concern is the discomfort I feel when we argue over small things. Usually it's a misunderstanding, but she seems to default to being offended before knowing everything that has happened and needs to sulk a bit before being ready to talk about it.
Even though I would rather her not sweat the small stuff, she brought up a good point: little things add up over time so it may be better that she expresses her feelings now so I understand. I can see and accept this view to an extent. However I am wondering if I should be concerned about this type of personality. I feel that in some cases I am only one comment away from her being angry at me and that certainly cannot be healthy in the long term.
I'd be interested in any perspectives or mindsets that can help me view this in a different light. Aside from this issue, I like this girl a lot and am willing to make it work with a change in philosophy. I don't expect to change her. | I'd like some perspective/advice/mindsets on my girlfriend who is a good fit for me but can be upset on a dime. |
t3_og752 | AskReddit | What are some good "forwards" to send to my grandparents? | My grandparents figured out how to use "the e-mails" and now I get roughly two dozen forwards a week from them. All of the forwards contain subtle (and not-so-subtle) racism, ignorant patriotism, chain-letter prayers, old-timey nostalgia, or some combination of the above.
I'm looking for "forwards" I can send them in return. Instead of getting angry or offended, I think the best thing I can do is send them cool stuff that will not only entertain them for five seconds, but also hopefully combat some of the Fox News type bullshit they blindly espouse. They're not bad people, they just honestly don't know any better.
My fantasy is to periodically send them things that they can disseminate to their other forward-loving friends and help balance the amount of misinformed and generally offensive content.
I'm most interested in finding "liberal propaganda", but in such a way as to educate them without being too obvious about it. | What "forwards" can I send my parents to combat the stereotypical ignorant bullshit they mass email to everyone they know? |
t3_3w66na | relationships | Me [25M] with my gf [25F] of 5 weeks, are we in an unhealthy relationship? | I [25M] have a high sex drive that was never quite matched by my exes, but now I have a gf [25f] that seems to love sex as much as me, maybe even more. In the last 5 weeks or so we've had sex probably an average of 4 times a day, spending almost every single weekend day and night in bed together and 4-5 weeknights a week. We would probably have even more if we didn't have to work.
As a result, we've more or less abandoned our respective friends most of whom we've met once then just ghosted to have more sex. She's seriously considering quitting her job for one that has less hours. I only work about 20 hours a week and to be honest I masturbate almost everytime I'm alone while she's at work.
On top of that we are compatible in every, single, aspect. Not that we think alike on every issue but that even when we don't think alike, we come to an agreement and just end up having sex.
Are my gf and I in a co-enabling relationship? Are we having too much sex? It seems to get better every time, and we are developing a deeper emotional connection outside of the time we spend out of sex, I like her more everyday, and she seems to feel the same, but I'm afraid it's a harmful nature that we like each other so much because we really don't want to do anything else. | My [25M] gf [25F] of 5 weeks and I spend almost every waking moment together and are considering taking less hours to spend even more time with each other, are we unhealthy in thinking this way? |
t3_2dtl26 | relationships | Me [18M] with my gf [17F] of 1 year, she still hasn't told her parents about our relationship.. | It's really starting to affect us, we cant spend much time together because she has to keep on making up lies, it makes me feel like she doesn't want me to be a part of her life and she only wants to see me when it's suitable for her.
She see's her friends more than me and i'm really fed up. She says its because she doesn't know how to talk to them but the only way things will get better is if she grows a pair and does it, procrastinating the situation will only make it worse for everyone.
I've spoke about it for a very long time with her, the past 3 months at least and I'm at breaking point. | gf not telling her parents is affecting our relationship to the point where we never see each other and i'm fed up with it. |
t3_xfj3b | relationships | Pushed relationship too far, too fast, how can I fix things? | So a couple of months ago I started dating this girl from work who had recently broken up with her boyfriend. In the beginning, I was very reluctant, and she was doing all of the chasing, but in the last 3 weeks or so, the tables have turned.... I'm completely into this girl.
So last week I told her I was "in love" with her. She said she's "falling for" me, but she never said she loved me. I do know that she does not want to be exclusive at this time (though she said she doesn't necessarily want to date anyone else, just wants the option, mostly because she just came out of a relationship). She did agree yesterday though that she wouldn't date anyone else, and just see where things go for the next month or so.
Today though, she just felt very distant. I do know that she's trying to "slow things down," but I think I may have pushed things too far too fast (not normal for me, but I got too excited about this girl, plus she works with me so I'm with her every day). Can I fix this, or am I already written off? I do know she's really into me, but I can't tell if I'm already on the outs. Next week shell be out for a week on family vacation, and this week I'm trying my best to stay away. Any advice would be very appreciated, I don't want to lose this one. | I took this relationship further than she's ready to go... How can I go back to how things were after already telling her I love her? |
t3_2ae87n | relationships | I (m/18) have come to the realization that I can not be satisfied by one partner, I still care for my current S/O (f/18) but I know they wouldn't be open to a polyamorous relationship, what do I do? | A little bit of back story...
I have been dating my current girlfriend for a year and two months. For pretty much the entirety of my relationship with her I have had multiple dreams about being with other women and I have also fantasized about it on my own without acting on it. I know that cheating is wrong and I would nver go behind her back and do something like that but I know that I'm not going to be completely happy with just her. I love her and care for her very much
But here is my dillema;
While I have recently come to the decision that I am not just a scumbag who wants to cheat but that I am polyamorous I am fairly certain my girlfriend would not be open to the idea of a polyamorous relationship, she is quite the jealous type. So what do I do here? I mean I could approach her about how I feel but I know that it wouldn't work out but at the same time I love her and I still want to be with her, I was just wondering what your guys thoughts are. thanks. | I am polyamorous in monogomous relationship with jealous girlfriend; want to approach about polyamory but I know it won't end well |
t3_4rxafl | relationships | My wife (24f) separating from me (26m) but she isn't taking practical steps towards legal divorce. What is my plan here? | Check my profile for a more comprehensive description of our situation. For these purposes we had no house or kids, we were married for three years and together for five and a half. We were happy together but in the last year and a half things have gone downhill. Lately some major problems developed, our counselor encouraged us to live separately for a time, and quickly after we began that she decided she was done with the relationship. We began living separately two months ago, with the relationship ending (and all contact beyond logistical) six weeks ago.
In that time I've come to realize A LOT about myself, where my life is headed, and what I want. I have invested in my friends, managed to not become an alcoholic, found a new career path, acknowledged and dealt with a lot of lingering emotional hurt, and have generally made my life 1000x better than it was than when I was with her. But the kicker (which is probably to be expected) is that I still very much love her, and in our last conversation she said the same. I have given her the space she wanted when we decided to live separately, split our possessions generously on her end, and been as accommodating to her needs as I could be. If a clean split exists then this would be it.
Except in all of this she hasn't taken any practical steps to a legal divorce. Should this be significant to me? Does it take this amount of time for someone to start going through the process? She plans to move to another state to be with a close friend in about two weeks, and it seems like she will still leave with us legally married. The reason I don't straight up ask her about it is because I fluctuate a lot right now between hope for our marriage and anger at the things she did that hurt me. My counselor advised me to not contact her until I have had a full month of peace about everything in myself. That certainly hasn't happened yet, but it seems like the clock is ticking and I am having difficulty interpreting her lack of action in ending things with me.
What should I think? | difficult marriage problems, she decides to end things while still having respect and love for me, I agree to it, two months go by and she hasn't communicated anything regarding legal divorce. What should i think? |
t3_1fg5e1 | dating_advice | I (33M) wanna ask a lawyer (27F) on a date.... the problem is... she is MY lawyer! Touchy ground? | Im a single father of an amazing little boy who I share custody of with his mother, my ex-girlfriend. The custody has been mostly sorted, but given my schedule, and my limited trust in the mother, I fully suspect its a matter of time before we are back at it regarding his custody.
My lawyer is a woman my own age (28-32) who has not only been very very helpful in the process of just getting me shared custody, she's also extremely attractive!!!
Now... I know that I'm there for other reason's, and I've always kept a very keen focus on the priorities and been nothing but a gentleman when we've met, however, there is no denying there is a spark there, and I'm sensing some mutual attraction...
Since I can't get the idea of asking her out on a date to leave my mind... I thought I should find out if I can even ask her out. I would assume there are some delicate rules given she's my lawyer and all... am I right?
Has anyone else ever found themselves in a similar position? How can I best handle this? There's gotta be a happy story or two out there similar to this no? | > I want to ask my lawyer out on a date... but is that a big faux pas...? Or does it actually happen? Interested in hearing some stories or examples where it's worked. |
t3_b1xxk | relationship_advice | Should I stay or should I go? | Reddit, be forewarned: the following is a sad, sad tale of a lonely young woman.
It took me two long, lonely years to heal my heart after my last relationship. After it all, I'm finally ready for a meaningful relationship, and as luck would have it, met a very nice man. Last night was our fourth date, but I haven't gotten so much as a peck on the cheek from him.
I must add that my libido is considerably higher than the average woman. To our date last night, I wore my patented garter belt, stockings, heels and skirt. Just looking that sexy is usually enough to get my engine humming, and I was certain last night would be the night. However, we talked a bit about what we were looking for, and we can agree that we're into each other. He, however, apparently is the only man on the face of the earth that won't take a wet, willing, wanting woman to bed. He admitted that he's the type to take it slow, and wants to make sure he matches someone's personality before they match physically. I'm just honestly not sure if it'll work between us -- I think we "clicked" very well, but I have a sexual appetite that would put any teenage boy to shame. | girl wants sex, boy wants to get to know her first. boy is a good match for girl, but girl isn't the type to wait on someone else's timeline. |
t3_4taopx | personalfinance | 21 years old, joining the Ohio National Guard, how can I start planning for my financial future? | As the title states, I'm 21 yrs old, and I've never been good with money and I'm looking to change that. So this is where I'm at I have virtually no money saved up and have been living off the money from my last job which is running out quick. I've decided its now time to actually put a plan in place.
The Ohio Natl. Guard pays 100% in school tuition and the job I'm getting pays a 20,000$ bonus as well as a 250+ monthly G.I.Bill kicker on top of base pay. I'm 12,000$ in debt from my failed year at college and living at home since then.
My goal is to be going to a state uni by Fall 2017 and renting my own place by then (been living in the nest too long) and to be somewhat financially independent from my parents. I'm looking for any advice on how and where to start saving and things I can do to start getting serious money saved up so I'm not in this same situation when I'm 26 and done with college. | Joining Ohio National Guard and returning to college, 13,000$ in debt and have virtually no money, I need help laying out a savings plan. |
t3_17cy1v | relationships | I (20M) am having problems with my long time girlfriend (20F). I needed to get this off of my chest, but advice is very much appreciated. | Well, we've been together three years. Last year she was diagnosed with lupus. I've been nothing but helpful and supportive, but my efforts seem worthless. She has to stay cooped up all the time, because she can't be out for too long without feeling sick. I feel like any complaint I have is just a whine, because I don't have any real problems. The thing is though, she wants to get married, and buy a house, etc. but we're not to a point where we can do that. We're not even out of college yet. But every time she thinks about it she gets depressed, and I don't ever feel like I help. She has a good time when we get to see each other, but when I get home and talk to her in the phone, she's still depressed. There's nothing I can do to help her. I just feel so ineffective.
And her depression is depressing me so, I just need some kind words and a little advice. | My girlfriend is depressed and there really isn't a thing I can do about it, and her depression is spreading to me. |
t3_32ytsz | relationships | Me [21M] with my GF [21F] 4 months, GF upset/sad about previous casual relationship and not sure how to get past it. | Told my current girlfriend (official 2 weeks, but seeing each other for 4 months), about a girl I was seeing a bit when we first met back in October. We spoke about it about a week ago because I didn't want to keep it a secret anymore now that its official.
Met this girl a week before I met current girlfriend, and this girl moved away on exchange in December.
GF isn't too happy about it and is feeling pretty upset about this situation, but it happened before we were exclusive. She says that this has tainted her view of me, which really hurts. Ive changed, and know that I want her and Ive been reassuring her this, yet it is only temporary until she gets sad about it again.
I feel really shitty about it/not telling her earlier, but I cant change the past and want things to be great with my GF again. | Current girlfriend is upset/sad about a past casual relationship that is affecting the relationship. How do I make her feel better/assure her that this is what I want? How do you get past something like this? |
t3_fechm | AskReddit | I'm starting a new, unique business. Torn if I should worry about patents. What should I do, reddit? | I'm in the process of starting a new online business. It turns out, it seems to be a pretty unique idea/method. Through my less-than-novice patent searching (through the USPTO, google patents, google, etc), I can't find anything that really comes close to what I'm doing. That said, I'm completely torn of whether or not I should even care about a patent. Ultimately, the more and more time I put into this, I'm getting more and more worried that another geek like myself with good programming skills and enough free time could see what I've done (when I'm done) and, well, copy it. It's not about the tech. I'm even considering open-sourcing the code behind the service. It's really the specific business idea itself.
Now, my general stance on patents is this: if you've designed something completely, mindblowingly unique and awesome; patent it. You've earned it. "Great idea, you win" sort of thing. But that's really limited to designs, imo, such as the inventor of Velcro or the VCR. However, when it comes to business ideas, it seems to me that the best level of protection is building barriers to entry rather than going legal. Reddit, for example, just touted a BILLION page views last month. They're open and with little legal protection (I guess I don't really know if that's true), yet a competitor will have trouble toppling this well deserved empire mainly because there's already millions of people visiting (over and over, for ~15 minutes at a time). They don't need added protection, they just have a solid platform with a great community.
But still, I'm torn. I have a good idea (well, I think so anyways) and I'd hate to see the fruits of my labors turned into vapor by a copy-cat. However, I also believe my true success will be from putting the rubber to the road and building up less physical barriers to entry around the business.
So, that's it, reddit. What do you think? | I had a brainstorm of a business idea/method. Should I protect it with a patent, hard work or both? kthx. |
t3_16ytnb | relationship_advice | Curious as to how cautious I [24/m] should possibly be about someone [23/f] who's been on&off with a guy for nearly 5+ years | She recently broke up with this guy. They've been together for a soild 2-3 years, but she's left him multiple times, and they've been on and off for over 5 years, total. We're not currently dating or anything, but she knows I really like her. I couldn't be happier knowing she's now single, but deep down, I'm concerned I should be cautious. Is it common for people to date on & off, and break up with who they're with to go back to that person? If her and I dated, would it possible I could get left and she go back to him? Or maybe if we date, and I'm better than he was, she'll forget him? I understand if this question is too vague of details to answer. But considering she just went through a rough break up, leaving him, I feel it's very inappropriate right now to talk to her about her previous boyfriends (or if I ever should).
If any of you have been in a similar situation as to mine, or been in her or his shoes, I'd love some help! Thank you... | Girl broke up with bf of 2+ years, but have 5+year history. Should I be concerned she'll go back to him if her and I got together someday? |
t3_1z9w95 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my gf [24 F] 4 months, she not only cancelled our date but went on to slap another dude's ass right in front of me. Am i overreacting or is she blatantly disrespectful? | Me [26 M] with my gf [24 F] 4 months, she not only cancelled our date which i told her a week before and kept reminding her to not make any plans but went on to slap another dude's ass right in front of me. I blew up and couldn't keep my cool. I talked to her after and told her that i didn't like the fact that she did that. She went on to this "i can't believe you're acting this way" look and reluctantly agreed to not to do it anymore. Now i'm not sure if i was overreacting but not only did she have audacity to cancel the date when i told her not to make an plans but to do what she did right in front of me, i felt like she has no respect for me. I've told her this but and we've talked about it, but i wanted to get an opinion from you guys whether i overreacted and it's something normal or was she at fault at this? | she not only cancelled our date, slaps another dude's ass, i got angry. Was she disrespectful or was i overreacting? |
t3_1bxl9j | relationship_advice | Both of us(18/f and 19/m) might be moving soon, should we start dating? | I have known her for a year now but 4 months ago started getting closer due to similar friends. I have noticed her flirting with me and spending time with her and her friends lead to everyone assuming we're already dating. I like her but seeing her flirting with others when she's drunk made be unsure about her interest in me. But recently, her best friend told me she's into me and acts different when I am in sight.
Here's where it gets difficult. We are in that part of life where we have to apply to universities and maybe move to another city. We both are trying to get into one, but you can never know what happens. It is possible that we get into same uni or city, but also that we get into different ones.
My plan is to very soon ask her personally what she thinks about me. Since our future living places are unsure, there is always a chance of moving into the same city or even stay where we are at the moment. It's better try than regret not trying, I think.
What's your opinion? | Both interested but none is sure about future living place. Might live in same city, might live in different ones. Do you think it's worth trying to start a relationship? |
t3_vxfj4 | AskReddit | What act of kindness/humanitarianism have you performed that brought you hate and malcontent? | Here's my story:
As I pull into the parking lot at my office, I notice that some of our work kitties (feral cats in the neighborhood that we set out food and water for) are playing with something. As I get closer I realize that they've caught a mouse. No big deal. That's what cats do best. I own two little furry karma machines myself.
Then I notice that they're not hunting it, they're just playing with it. The mouse is clearly fighting for it's life and giving these two cats everything it's got. The little guy's got moxie. Since the cats are merely toying with it, I decide to take it's fate in my hands and attempt to give it a second chance by shooing the would-be killers away.
Doesn't work. They grab the mouse in their jaws and carry it off. Sigh... Oh well. Sorry, little guy.
About an hour later I notice the same two cats with the same mouse. They've been fucking with it for over an hour now and I see my second chance at a rescue mission. I know, it's just one little mouse, but since I failed it the first time around, I'm even more determined to save it this time.
I run out to scare the cats away, and the mouse is too exhausted to run anymore. I put on gloves (I work in a dental office) and scoop the little guy up and move him to the other side of the building and place him in amongst some shrubbery. Mission Accomplished. Hopefully, he'll recover.
I get back inside where some of my coworkers were watching by the window and (the bitch of the office) tells me that I'm stupid for saving a goddamned mouse, and that she hopes I die of disease from touching it. | I rescued a mouse from a couple of cats at work and a coworker told me I was stupid and that she hopes I die of mouse-ridden disease. |
t3_29der9 | Advice | i owe a friend money that i can't pay back and it's starting to affect the friendship, help? | So, i've found myself in a situation where I owe money to a friend after we worked on a project together, I've owed the money to him for about a month, but there's just no way I can pay it back in anyway realistically for at least another 2/3 months, I'm a student, loads of debt, maxed overdraft, the works.
Last 2/3 days he's become super pushy about getting his money now, and there is just no way i can get it to him as quick as he wants, I've tried explaining but he just won't accept that I can't do anything at the moment. Any small amount of money I get (from parents, job, etc) goes straight on rent and food. It is really as drastic as not being able to live if i pay him, even in installments.
Maybe it should also be said that he paid for the majority of the project because from the get go my funds weren't great. - something i made sure i told him at the beginning of the project too!
I don't know what to do now, as he won't accept me not having money on hand as an excuse, and won't stop badgering either. It's really taking a toll on the friendship too as I actively avoid him to a degree now in fear of being called out on it. | Owe a friend money, can't pay it back right now, constant badgering and lack of understanding by friend. |
t3_463soc | relationships | I [25F] am Muslim and been with boyfriend [28M] for 5 years. Parents want me to marry another man. Help. | I am a 25 year old Muslim girl raised in the US. I fell in love with a non-Muslim boy 5 years ago. We love each other truly and deeply. I hid the relationship from my parents for a long time.
My parents want me to marry someone else. The other guy is very nice and comes from a good family but I don't know if I could be happy or love him. I don't think I could love anyone again. I would have to move across the country and be away from my family. I have told him I don't know if I could love him, and he didn't mind and still wants to get married.
I told my parents about my boyfriend and how he is converting. They got very upset and feel betrayed. They have been upset every night since they made arrangements with the other family, and it's been about 2 weeks. I told them about the boyfriend right after they agreed with the other family. They say horrible things to me, like they wish I was never born and tell me they hate me and I will cause them health issues if I stop the wedding to be with my true love. They're my parents, I know they want the best for me but they don't realize what love really is or what is best.
I want for everyone to be happy. Even if it means I'm not. Even if it means my boyfriend will move on and be happy with someone else. The wedding is scheduled for the end of March, and word has spread about the wedding. Stopping the wedding now would cause my parents a lot of shame. They said they wouldn't be able to live through it and would never speak to me again.
I don't know what to do, I feel trapped. | I want to be happy and marry my true love, but my parents say they will never speak to me again and will hate me. |
t3_52bni3 | relationships | Me [32 M] girl at my new job sends a text saying she has a crush on me. Where do I go from here | I just started a job after being out of work for a month. A couple days ago I get a text from her that she has a crush on me. I told her that I have had a crush on her since day one.
We have been texting back and forth(flirting), and I want to ask her out on a date but I am broke from not working for a month. I dont want to ask her to come over or get invited over before dating because thats kind of scummy IMO. I'm usually against dating someone at work but I really like her. Do I just wait until I get paid to take her out or try to do something that doesn't involve spending money? | Girl at work confesses she like me but I have no clue where to go from here. I'm broke too. She just broke up with her boyfriend a couple days ago. |
t3_3cdmwv | dating_advice | I know, I know, she's not that into me [27M]... | So I met this girl on Tinder, and she's honestly first person who piqued my interest at all after 5 months of being on the app. We went on a first date for drinks, during which she told me that she was having a great time and hoped we could do it again. We ended up going to a movie the very next night at her suggestion. Made plans to get together again the following weekend, but she kind of flaked and we didn't end up getting together, leading me to think she wasn't interested. She kept texting me, though, and we ended up getting dinner during the following week. Right after that date, she texted me to tell me how much she likes me, and every time we've spent time together we've gotten along *very* well... kissed multiple times but nothing more, but pretty obviously really enjoyed each other's company. Then, all of a sudden, her texting became more erratic, and the last time we were supposed to get together she strung me along with half-commitments before finally saying "let's reschedule" at the last minute. We've still been texting, albeit less regularly, and last night I decided to give asking her on a 4th date one more shot. She responded after I'd fallen asleep saying that she'd like to get together this week, as long as it's before Wednesday. I got back to her this morning with "Ok, how about Tomorrow?" No response...
I'm not dumb -- I totally get that every signal she's sending basically says "I don't want to hang out anymore, but I'm not willing to come out and say it." But given the fact that we've had fantastic chemistry every time we've been together, and she explicitly stated her positive feelings immediately after the last time we saw each other, am I crazy to keep trying? She also seemed flakey the weekend before our third date, so maybe it really is just her personality? I will say that her personality is quite different from any other girl I've dated - she's a little awkward and pretty blunt, which makes me wonder why she would lie about still wanting to see me (or about having liked me in the first place). Any advice? | Had three pretty awesome dates, she told me she's super into me, then seemingly completely lost interest before we could have a fourth date. |
t3_1u5qm7 | offmychest | Anxiety | Alright, so...I basically had anxiety for two years without telling anyone. Not my family, not my friends..etc. didn't tell my family because my sister was dealing with it and I didn't want my parents to worry about me also, and didn't tell my friends for pride reasons. (Yeah I know, stupid). It got to the point that i would start shaking uncontrollably and I thought I had some sort of disease..so I finally came clean to my parents and saw a doctor. The past year I have improved tremendously, but..still have some things to figure out. I was on Zoloft for about 4 months.. Basically was off it , now I'm on Effexor ( however I don't think my progress is at all related to the drugs.. Since I can go days without taking them and not feel different ). I have one question though.. Before my anxiety started I could sleep through the night not having any remembrance of a dream. Now in the past few years.. My dreams have been more strange and vivd and i don't think I've had a night where I haven't remembered it. Has anyone got any insight on this? Can I do anything to lower stress levels so I can sleep more peacefully/forget dreams lol? Anyways that's it! Oh yeah..also my first panic attack was when I was high on weed, now after a 2 year
Break I can smoke again with very few panic attacks in between. I actually think facing my fear of letting go and relaxing helped. | had bad anxiety, didn't tell anyone. Told family, got a lot better. Still have weird dreams though. Asking for insight |
t3_2umhz8 | tifu | TIFU by making a joke at work. | Just over 4 hours ago I arrived at work. I clocked in and sat down in the office like usual and begin talking with Mason and Heather. Shortly after, Alex comes into the office from the front and we all start talking.
After I few minutes, I say "I thought Nancy was working tonight?" to which Alex replied "Yeah, she's up front." That's when this girl I've never seen before walks into the office from the front and I say "Nancy, you're so thin now!" just as the real Nancy walks around the corner. This is where I fucked up. Compared to this new girl, whom I later found out was named Jenny, she's a little larger.
All Nancy says is "What?" in this confused/upset tone. Instead of apologizing all I say is "Yeeeeah, I fucked up." Nancy goes back to the front and Jenny sits there with this deer in the headlights/this is really awkward face and Alex tells me how stupid I am.
We all start talking again as Nancy walks into the office and sits in the corner quietly looking at her phone. She didn't say anything for the next 20 minutes. She eventually left the office and then came back said"Bye" to Mason and left. | Made a "thin" joke about a girl at work. Instead of apologizing I said "Yeah... I fucked up." Girl sat quietly in the corner of the office for 20 minutes after without speaking to anyone then left. |
t3_45mza4 | relationships | Would it be appropriate for me (24m) to apologize to my friend (21f) through text? | Long story short, I've been acting like an entitled dick to a friend I've been interested in. The storm is over and some time has passed and we're going to see each other again pretty soon.
It's time for me to clear the air and own up to my bad behavior, just don't know if I should do it face to face or text her.
One of our issues was she didn't like dealing with heavy topics face to face, she'd get uncomfortable about it and end up being closed off. That's the only reason I'm considering doing this through text, otherwise it would be an in-person thing. | I'm saying "sorry" for a sort of big fuck up, is it okay to do it through a text? |
t3_42iiz6 | offmychest | Perhaps I may be overreacting but I'm starting to wonder if staying friends with an ex is a bad idea. | So my freshman year of college, I dated this girl. It only lasted like a month because a majority of it was over winter break so it strained our relationship. Even after we broke up she was my best friend. But we stopped hanging out as much because I was committed to running indoor track and she was taking 17 credits while I was only doing 13. She suggested we do something fun over the weekend because we were busy during the week so I suggested we go take a day trip to Columbus (it was 45 minutes from my college, I go to MVNU for anyone curious). Last week one of her relatives passed away so she had to go back home to attend the funeral, no big de shit happens maybe we can try next week. The next week came and we've drifted apart even more, we don't text much let alone see her anymore but I figured it's because we're busy. Saturday comes by and I wake up at around noon and check my snap story and lo and behold, SHE WAS IN COLUMBUS WITH SOME OTHER GUY AND FRIEND AND DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME. Needless to say I was livid the rest of the day. I started to reconsider my friendship with her and have considered ending it. I'm starting to think that staying friends with an ex is a bad idea because I get bitter whenever she is talking to another guy EVEN AFTER WE BOTH AGREED THAT WE NEEDED TO FIX OURSELVES BEFORE DATING AGAIN. Not to mention I feel like she's holding me back. I'm tired of her shit. I never want to start over and date her again. And I really think I shouldn't be friends with her either. I don't care if she has no friends I'm tired of dealing with her baggage and other bullshit. | Ex-girlfriend/best friend went to Columbus without inviting me. Got really livid. Realized I was getting fed up with her shit. Considering cutting ties. |
t3_4reojr | relationships | Me [30F] with my boss[50sM], he told me to say no to a client's request. I did, and now some of the higher-ups at our parents company are being frosty to me. | Hi Reddit. A week ago a large client of ours asked me to do something for them with a very tight deadline. I promised I would do as much as I could by then, and they said no problem. But then my boss found out, and said I absolutely was not doing what they asked because it wasn't enough time. He said I needed to tell them no; "I don't know how you're going to do it, but you need to tell them no".
Now, immediately I wanted to email "As per (boss's name) instructions", but that didn't seem okay since my boss clearly wasn't going to tell them no for me, and I felt like this was tossing him under the bus (though he had no problem tossing me under the same). So I very politely apologized to the client and said I would be unable to do so, even after I told them I would.
The client and our parent company called my boss, livid, and guess what, I ended up having to do the thing anyway. And now, some of the higher ups are being unusually frosty to me and I think it's because my boss never mentioned it was his instructions I was acting on. I think he said I just didn't want to do it.
What can I do now? Should I explain the situation? Or confront my boss? Or just live with my superiors thinking of me this way? | Boss tossed me under the bus and now my superiors are being cold. Do I stick up for myself or just let it be? |
t3_rl5mw | relationships | Ex-flame caused a conflagration....help before self-immolation. | UPDATE: I have one friend.
My bf (almost 30) and I (almost 24) have been dating for 3 1/2 years. For the first 3 years of our relationship, he was a raging alcoholic. During that time, he kept a lot of secrets from me, that I only found out through his friends (e.g., fights, drug use, going to strip clubs, kissing another girl). Since he stopped drinking, he says that he has no more secrets from me, but he just doesn't feel the need to tell me everything, like the fact that he spends lots of time with his female dealer, both at our apartment and at hers. Needless to say, I have some slight trust issues, but I try to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Two days ago, a guy that I used to hook up with 6-7 years ago contacted me. Although he tried to hook up with me off the bat, when I told him I wasn't interested, he said he would respect that and that he wanted to be friends. I've been chatting with him since then. Its been completely platonic conversations--work, family, hobbies, etc. But, my bf has gone insane about it. Yesterday, he went through my FB and my old cell phone to try to figure out who it is that I'm talking about. He says that he can't trust me because I cheated one time in a past, very unhealthy relationship. Even though I have told him that he has nothing to worry about, he demands that I cut off all contact or else he's breaking up with me. I think he's going completely overboard and should trust me as I haven't done anything wrong. I also think that he is being extra paranoid because he may have cheated on me (although he denies it). | Wrong to strike up friendship with ex-flame and is bf just extra-pissed because he's a secret cheater? |
t3_4xs6t7 | relationship_advice | If I [25/m] don't see myself being able to live with my gf [24/f], should I try to work it out or break it off with her? | I [25/m] have been dating my gf [24/f] for over 2 years now and it's getting to the point where I'm thinking about the future more which has me worried.
We don't live with each other but after the end of this year when our leases are up we've talked about moving in with each other and I am very hesitant.
We frequently spend the night at eachother's places so I've seen how she lives and quite frankly it's a huge turnoff that I always suggest that she spends the night at my place instead.
I am a very clean person and like to cook and try to eat healthy where as she is a bit of a slob, always eats out, never works out, and rarely cooks/can't cook.
It's not just the mess that gets to me either. She seems to have a huge spending problem and always complains about not having enough money when she could save a lot by not eating out everyday and not buying unnecessary things every week like another phone case to match her new nail polish. She doesn't make a lot and has a lot of monthly student loans to pay but that doesn't seem to matter when she's at the bar and spends $40 bucks a night on drinks.
I've brought up these issues a couple of times before but she gets very annoyed and defensive when I do. I try not to be a dick about it too, like if I'm walking in her dirty laundry on the floor I'll ask if she can maybe move them or when she wants to eat out for the 3rd time of the day and I suggest that "maybe we should cook something and save her money since she just complained about not having any".
Anyways, all of a sudden I reconsidering our relationship and I would like to hear your guy's thoughts/experiences with this. | Gf is a slob and bad with money, and I am the opposite and don't see it working out long term. |
t3_54j2wf | relationships | Me [34F] with guy I'm seeing [30M] since April - Am I being ghosted? | I met dude in April of this year, we got close pretty quickly (hung out almost every day) but I didn't want to slap a label (boyfriend/girlfriend) on our relationship because I just got out of a long term relationship and was leaving for the entire summer to go study aborad.
We Skyped every day while I was gone from June until early August when he just suddenly only sparsely replied to me. He got a new job with long hours around then so I assumed that he was just busy with that. However, after I got back in early September, he made no attempts to see me. I told him we need to meet up and talk, and he said he started to distance himself because he didn't know what was going on in my life abroad or that if I met anyone there. I didn't know what to think because we talked EVERY DAY until he suddenly disappeared -- he was the one to pull away.
Anyway, the face to face talk seemed to work out and we were fine for about a week after. He said he really liked me and even got me a toothbrush for his new apartment. But suddenly he's aloof again. No texts, no calls, no attempts to meet up. He does respond when I text but only to say he's busy or he's tired. Basically we only talk (briefly) when I initiate contact.
I'm getting the feeling that he's over it and I should just let it die, but I would really like to hear it from him. This yo-yoing from 'I really like you' to zero contact for over a week is really confusing for me.
I'm not sure I will get a straight answer out of him if I attempt to have a serious talk again. Am I being ghosted? I don't know how to broach the subject with him so I can get closure or confirmation. | Dude I'm seeing suddenly doesn't call/text despite saying he really likes me. Should I just let it go or is it worth it to try and find out what's really going on? |
t3_39cy63 | relationship_advice | [20/m] maybe friend zoned by recently single (not my ex) (20/f)? | Hello all,
I have been single my whole life, and now I'm in college. I always wanted a girlfriend, my friends that are girls told me I would be a good boyfriend because I always make time to do favors and don't expect any back (but do get some anyways [not sexual]).
So I met this girl half way through the quarter in my writing class. We had to do a project in a group of 3, and I was the one chosen (of my four friends) to be left out. I then joined a group of 2 girls, who were both taken | I met a girl at a group project, we only hang out for academic purposes. She constantly physically contacts me. She doesn't talk to me unless I make the effort to start. |
t3_41kcrv | relationships | GF [25 F] of 2 years, 1.5 of which have been long distance, just got a new job offer in her current location. Me [23 M] wondering how long do you go in long distance until you call it as over? | We are across the country (USA) from each other, and she has said that she really wants to move out here, but keeps pursuing job opportunities in her current area. It started with a new job she got a few months ago, which pushed her move-out date back, and then she has been talking about a new promotion she is going to be getting at this new job.
It's leading to her asking me to move out there. I would be able to do this, but it would still put us 3 hours of driving distance away from each other. My job requires lots of travel, and business trips that take me away from home for weeks at a time, so any amount of distance becomes a logistical challenge when it comes to spending time together.
I love her, but at what point do I wall myself off because we are wasting each other's time? | GF wants to move across the country, but at what point do you say "actions speak louder than words", and break things off because it isn't going anywhere? |
t3_fconw | AskReddit | Reddit, I need a change of scenery. Where should I go? | I just turned 25, live in a suburban town outside of New York City in my parent's house, work in internet marketing.
I don't know if its the awful weather taking its toll on my morale, or just some deeper inclination that the older I get the more I realize I'm never going to do something special (i.e. be a movie star, rock star, famous author or artist)
The only thing I can think of to help make me feel better that I'm just "another guy" is to make some drastic changes. I stopped smoking pot (I was a daily user) but it's definitely not enough. I don't want to work in my line of work for the rest of my life, I want to do something creative though I have no idea what that is.
Obviously I've gone off on a tangent here that goes much deeper than just a relocation, but I think a change of scenery would help. Any suggestions or ideas on places where I might fit in? I've considered LA, but I don't know if it would live up to the idealistic concept I have of it in my mind.
I don't want to sound whiny, I know I am in the upper 1% of lucky people on the planet and I take it all for granted. I accept that. So please refrain from posting negative comments. Just anything constructive would help, thanks Reddit. | I'm having some sort of quarter-life crisis and I need a drastic change of scenery. Where should I go? |
t3_2z6q25 | personalfinance | Hey pf, how much do i really have to make to move out on my own without a roommate? | Background: 20 years old $20/hour Electrician Apprentice $28,000 a year with straight 40 hours. but 99% of the time i get overtime and work up between 90-110 hours a week. i have been making about $4600 a month lately due to over time but with work being slow, i am preparing for the worst of $2400 a month on a 40 hour work week. Now to the main question, i want to move out of my parents house because they are being really difficult to live with and i would like to live comfortably and have my own apartment. My girlfriend of 7 years wants to move in with me at the apartment but i don't know if i can afford to have my own apartment? She has a brand new truck that is $550 a month just for the payment not including her insurance and she only makes $15/hr 40 hr work week. There is no way she can go half on the apartment or help me out on it and she is against roommates completely. I am in 0 debt and all my money is just for our phone bill $150 and my truck insurance $100. everything else is just in my bank account. Can i realistically move out and get my own apartment making minimum $2400 a month? I do not want to live in a run down apartment either. idk if im being unrealistic or not. any advice is greatly appreciated. | can i move out on my own making minimum $2400 a month paying for an apartment around $900-1000 with no roommates. |
t3_2386oc | relationships | Myself [23 M] hooked up with [22 F] hooked up via Reddit, Want it to be more than just a hook up | After seeing a post with in one of the R4R subs about a week ago where she wanted a random hookup we started chatting. The more we talked the more it appeared we had in common, our interests, our tastes. A couple of nights ago we met and went to the cinema where we watched a film and by the end of it we had our hands on each other's legs almost touching each other's private parts. While it was a random hookup it appeared to feel like a date. We were getting along really well even though it was suppose to be a one time thing.
After coming back to my place and hooked up she appeared distant and immediately went home, she said she was tired and had to wake up early the next morning. When I tried to be playful and ask her to come to bed she got angry and said that's not how consent worked. So I ordered a taxi for her and we hugged goodbye, where she said "I'll see you next time".
Before then the night was going really well although I have a feeling I screwed up at the end. I messaged her earlier today however she hasn't responded yet. While it was suppose to be a random hookup we both told each other perhaps a casual friends with benefits would be possible. To be honest at first I thought it was just going to be a hookup, however by the end of the night I didn't want it to be a one time thing.
What do you think I should do next? Do you think I screwed things up? | Hooked up via Reddit, was suppose to be one time deal but I want more although I think I might have screwed up. What to do next? |
t3_1jgc49 | relationships | She (19f) and I (20m) text often but she never wants to meet? | Hi, me and this girl have been texting a lot lately, and have met a couple of times, I do like her but not sure if she likes me...
Anyway she'll text me every now and then asking how I am etc, we will talk then I'll ask her to hang out (always me to ask) but she'll will say she's busy for like a whole week or something, which is ok but if she did want more than surely she would want to see me and make time for me?
It sounds petty but I just don't know what to do or feel, thanks for any help! | Girl and I text a lot but she is always 'busy' to hang out, don't know how to feel.. |
t3_23tlxm | relationships | Me [24M] with my girlfriend [25F] of 4 months, my family is cutting me off financially/ emotionally because she is Hindu and not a "Good christian girl" | My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 4 months now and I am very fond of her. I have never felt this strongly about a woman and would really like to continue dating her. Unfortunately, my sister is a spiteful woman and went out of her way to inform my grandparents that my girlfriend is a Hindu. My grandparents are very conservative Christian people and were deeply hurt by me dating a "non-believer". My grandparents are also the people who are paying for my college tuition and many other expenses while I finish up grad school.
I am very torn on what to do because I really think I am falling in love with this woman. She is incredible, makes me smile, and above all really cares for me. I hate to put my family is such a position, I can see the amount of pain that I am causing my mom, grandma and grandpa. It really hurts me to disobey them and I still need their help - both financially and emotionally.
On the other hand, I really want to stay with my girlfriend. She makes me crazy happy and I really care about her. I can easily see myself falling in love with her (I might be already). I don't know if "she is the one" or that we will get married, but I certainly want to stay with her for awhile.
There is this small voice in my head that tells me it might be stupid to continue dating her since it causes so much pain unless I *know* that I will marry her. Then another part of me says that I never know what will happen and maybe she is the girl of my dreams.
I am riding this fence between practical and what my heart wants. Any advice would be helpful. Also, I can easily provide more details. FYI I am typing this up with tears streaming down my cheeks so sorry for any typos. | My family is Christian and are upset that I am dating a Hindu. They have decided to cut me off financially. I was given the ultimatum - break up with this girl and we will pay for you tuition again. |
t3_3b8j2y | relationships | My [F/23] new roommate [F/20] keeps asking for things. I don't know how to tell her that I'm not comfortable with it. | I know this probably puts me in a bad light, but I'll try to give context to explain myself. I have a new roommate who moved in recently (she's a subletter for a previous roommate--I wasn't involved in choosing her), and she is really unfriendly. She seems to actively avoid me, and we have never had a normal conversation. When I ask her a question to try to get to know her, she answers shortly and makes no attempt to engage or ask any questions back at all. It is a bizarre dynamic that's kind of unprecedented for me.
The only things she has said to me (after living here for almost a month) are asking me for things ("Can you drive me to the grocery store?" "Can I have one of your sodas?" "Can I use some leaves from your basil plant?"). It almost always catches me off guard so I usually say some variation of "...I guess."
But to be honest, I just really don't like this girl. I guess it's better for her to ask rather than to just take my things, but it feels one-sided and I don't know how to draw a boundary. Since she clearly doesn't want to even try to be friends, I would prefer a boundary where I buy my groceries, she buys hers, and we don't share anything.
Does anyone have advice on how I can politely address this? Again, I don't mean to seem unfriendly but I also don't want to just be a "yes man" (or the female equivalent) every time she asks for things that I don't want to give her. | Roommate constantly asking for favors/to use my things and I don't know how to say no without coming off in a mean way. |
t3_ksko9 | AskReddit | Whats wrong with my penis? Psychoanalyze me reddit! | i'm a 20 year old male. i am physically healthy and can easily maintain a boner when masturbating. but when the time comes to have sex, i (very) often can not get a boner. or, more often, i usually have one before the sex becomes imminent, than lose it at the most crucial of moments!
this paragraph is going to sound very arrogant but i think its important to clarify i am not sexually inexperienced and i really shouldnt have any reason to be nervous. I am relatively good looking and confident talking to women; i have no social anxiety issues. in other words, i have little trouble getting women into bed, but then end up immediately regretting it when i am once again in this embarrassing situation.
It has gotten worse and worse, because its sort of a vicious circle. it happens once, the next time im in bed with a girl i get nervous about it happening again and i guess its sort of a self fulfilling prophesy at that point. Even knowing this however does no good. i cant seem to just "relax" and let go of my nervousness.
This does not happen with a few girls, who i have known for a long time, already had plenty of comfortable sex with and therefore am not worried about anything. there have also been 2 girls who, when this problem came up, were totally comfortable and took it in stride. within a few minutes, i had no problem.
the trouble is that in reality most girls are not like that, or at least i dont think they will be like that and therefore end the situation before it comes to sex.
sidenotes that are probably important but im not sure how to tie in:
I am very turned on by femdom and the like. very.
I have had sex for money at a darker period in my life.
i dont want to write too much, because as it is most people will probably not read all of it. AMA that you think may be relevant, i am leaving a lot out. | my dick gets soft whenever i try to stick it in other humans. There is no health reason, im pretty certain it is psychological. what do? |
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