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t3_1477i8 | AskReddit | Reddit: Am I being selfish hoping my sister rethinks having a baby? | My younger (only) sister just told me she is five weeks pregnant. She has barely known the father (her boyfriend) for less than two months. I haven't made up my mind on how I feel about him yet. I'm in a six year relationship and am getting married this summer. My fiancé asked my sister to be one of her bridesmaids along with her own sister. My fiancé and I had an abortion when she was 29, my sister is now 29. I am very concerned for my sister. I also feel like my fiancé isn't going to get to have her moment. We had planned on having children immediately following the wedding, our child would be the first great grandchild in a very large extended family. Not only have missed out on that moment but I fear that much of the excitement may be taken away from the wedding as I am also the first grandchild to marry.
I see how this is going to make me seem like a selfish dick, but these are just the thoughts running through my head right now. I just found out yesterday. I truly am concerned for my sisters happiness. First and foremost I want to ensure she is happy and I am excited to be an uncle. I don't really know her new boyfriend, I don't know the circumstances of her getting pregnant (broken condom, etc) but I also fear he may be controlling and making her keep the baby. | Sister just told me she's pregnant, known dad for 2 months. Concerned or selfish older brother doesn't know how to process this. |
t3_38i1zz | relationships | My (M24) girlfriend (F24) often chooses to sleep on the couch rather than in bed with me | First off, I'm on mobile so sorry for any formatting or spelling errors.
I've been with my girlfriend for the past two and a half years and is been absolutely great. It's honestly the greatest relationship I've ever had. She's my best friend, my biggest supporter, and is super thoughtful.
My problem is that when I sleep at her house, she ends up sleeping on her couch instead of in bed with me roughly 2/3s of the time. This bothers me a lot. Like to the point that everytime she does it I can't go back to sleep myself. So I just am lying awake in her bed while she is sleeping out on her couch.
It's hard to put into words why it bothers me, but I guess it just makes me feel like she doesn't love me enough to share a bed with me. I know this isn't the reason, she just has trouble sleeping but it still really bothers me. We've talked about it many times and she understands how I feel, and wishes she could spend the whole night in bed without leaving, but it still keeps happening.
I should mention that when she stays at my house this has never been an issue. She falls asleep and stays asleep with no problem.
My girlfriend has started hinting she wants to get engaged, but I don't want to end up being a couple that sleeps in separate rooms. I know lots of people do that, but it's not something I want, and has always seemed weird to me.
I should note that I'm not a heavy snorer unless I've been drinking, so it doesn't have anything to do with that.
Has anyone here been in this situation? How should I handle it so that we both can have restful sleeps while staying in the same bed? I feel bad that we end up staying at my house 90% of the time because of this issue. | girlfriend has trouble sleeping in same bed as me at her house. Really bothers me and want to share a bed with her |
t3_54pel5 | relationships | I'm [21/m] unsure about what to do with [20/f] of 1 year | When we first starting dating, she had just been dating another guy for about 2 months and jumped ship to me, she continued to talk to this guy - some days ignoring my messages to respond to his. When we fought she would just ignore me and run to him instead. This continued for 3 months until I finally felt something was up and asked to go through her phone. I found that they had been reminiscing about their sex life on Facebook, which switched to snapchat, but for some reason her ex saved every single message. I broke up with her for this but we decided to get back together on the condition that she blocked him. She blocked him on messenger but the next day found her texting him, then a week later found her replying to his Instagram comments. This went around in circles until she finally blocked him.
Since then, there has been more issues with the ex and flirting with other guys in general - and even sexting one guy on a failed MMF attempt that I organised to keep an eye on things. I had two rules: No photos to just him and no sexting in any other chat but group chat. These were both broken.
We have been on and off multiple times and she keeps swearing she'll change. But recently she invited me to a party, which I agreed to go to, but then later found out when trying to take her on a holiday for her birthday that she had actually uninvited me and plus one'd another guy because she was "worried about me getting hurt" and "assumed I wasn't going" even though I said yes every time she asked me for the past week. She said they are just friends and invited me to go with them, but I'm still hurt after everything that she would not even discuss this with me before acting upon it.
I've broken up with her again for this, and I'm unsure whether or not I'm over-reacting. | Girlfriend sext'd ex and other guys at start of relo and broke trust. Now I have issues whenever she hangs out with guys, end it? |
t3_18z3mw | AskReddit | What is your best 'everything went better than expected' story? | When I was 14 my mother and I were doing a little cleaning around the house. At one point we were cleaning out a closet. My mother would hand me things and I would either put it aside to donate, put in the 'keep' pile, or throw it in of the several garbage bags to be thrown out later.
At one point she gave me a duffle bag which I thought was going in the garbage. And so, I threw it in the garbage bag and later in the day we brought all the garbage bags downstairs into the garbage room.
About two days later my mom storms into my room questioning me about the duffle that she had handed me. I calmly told her that I had thrown it into the garbage bags. Her faced changed immediately and within seconds she was crying hysterically. She ran to the garbage room and relentlessly looked through every single bag that was down there, but found nothing. A few hours later, my father told me what was in the bag. Turns out I had thrown away my mother's jewelry collection - $45,000 in mostly 21k gold. She never found it. Until this day (I'm 24 now) she hasn't mentioned the incident and never scolded me not even once. It's as if it never happened. | threw out my mom's $45,000 jewelry collection by accident, never got reprimanded, was never brought up in discussion again. |
t3_51mfhc | relationships | Me [25F] with my Friend [24F] Am I being overly sensitive??? | **(I should mention I changed some detials like my age and stuff just in case)**
Okay so I've been friends with this girl for about 3 years and we became "best friends" in the past couple months. Anyway she had a celebration for her birthday recently and I went out of my way to get her some really thoughtful stuff(things for her hobbies and small things she had been asking for). Anyway I give her the stuff and another friend gets her this shitty plastic cup. She doesn't really say much then we go off to eat. Anyway at the end of the day on the way home she starts going off at me for something dumb(I can't remember but it was something super dumb) and it starts to irritate me. At one point she calls me a nasty name and we end the discussion.(she has a tendency to be nasty to me with things I have like for example I have a smart watch and she goes on a rant on FB about why people who get these things are stupid idiots and how pathetic they are. Shes done this on more than one occasion and its been directed at me specifically and I KNOW its at me, its not just me being overly sensitive). Anyway after we get home we all kinda celebrate for a little and she just says to her other friend "lets go to your house" and ditches me. She made me come a long to celebrate then at the end she just ditches me wtf. (I should also mention I am dating a family member of hers(not a dad or anything like that lol)). I went specifically to celebrate for HER birthday then she just bails to do whatever else.
I ask this because usually people say I'm over-dramatic but I didn't know I am or if I have the right to be angry. | My friends done some shitty things and I want to know if I'm being dramatic(which I usually am) or if she's not a real friend. |
t3_2c9bon | relationships | Me [27 F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of two years, have mutually agreed on abortion. Couples who have done this and gone on to have a successful relationship/family- what was it like? Any advice for after and moving on? | We both want to get married and have kids together in the next few years, but at this point in time it is just not possible. Unfortunately, I had to be taken off my birth control as I am high risk for cervical cancer. I just had my first LEEP procedure in November and have been doing everything possible to prevent irregular cell growth. We had been using condoms, but after this incident we will not be having sex during ovulation. **This decision was not made lightly and we are not reckless people so those with opinions keep them to yourself or PM me- I don't know what password I used for this account anyway.**
Both of his parents recently became very ill (ALS & Diabetes) and he is an only child so he is responsible for taking care of them. Both of our careers are not even close to stable at the moment. He took partial ownership of a start-up 3 months ago and I am working to rebuild my design career after derailing it a few years ago. I don't have insurance and he only receives a stipend for his crappy individual. We cannot stay in the home we are in now after January and we might be moving out of state for work.
Both of our families would be supportive in the end, but disappointed and angry for a while. Even though that would be the least of our worries, the amount of stress we had before the pregnancy, coupled with all of these other factors, would not provide a suitable healthy home for a child or relationship. | Financially, mentally, and physically we are not capable of taking on a child. We love each other very much and will do everything possible to get each other through this time. Any advice is much appreciated. |
t3_32r33j | askwomenadvice | Good platonic friend drunkenly propositions you, answer is no, how do you react? | Not strictly looking for advice, but /r/askwomen booted me here, so I hope you'll have me.
Anyways, here's the scenario:
You're drinking with a guy friend with whom you're close but isn't necessarily your best friend. Out of the blue he propositions you for sex. He's pretty drunk but not extraordinarily so.
Apart from requesting sex he does nothing else wrong. Doesn't say anything to objectify you, no unwanted touching, etc.
You say no and he immediately respects your answer. The next morning he calls to apologize profusely and say it will never happen again.
You have no romantic history and there's been little to no sexual tension between you in the past. He's otherwise a perfectly nice and normal person who you genuinely like as friend.
How would you react to this whole scenario? Would you laugh it off, be offended, get creeped out, or something in between? Would you think differently of him? Would this fundamentally change your friendship? Would you even still be able to friends with him?
Bonus: Which of the factors I mentioned, if different, might change your reaction? What are some things about the situation/relationship I didn't mention that might affect your reaction?
P.S. I know women are not monolithic and different people will react differently. I'm not looking for one answer on behalf of all of women, I'm more interested in gauging the range and frequency of different reactions. | How offended would you be if your guy friend drunkenly but respectfully (as possible) asked if you wanted to sleep together? |
t3_vix5o | AskReddit | My abusive gf just left me after months of verbal, physical, and emotional abuse after I asked her to stop...and then called me abusive. Reddit, What are some WTF moments in relationships ending? | Both in our early 30's. Together over a year. She has had a hard live and I can live with that and understand everyone's experiences are different. Tried to be the hard working, loving, supportive boyfriend. You know, stuff like helped her find her current job. Would encourage her and compliment her whenever appropriate. Never called her any names, or the like. Basically I was normal. While she would regularly put me down in front of her friends and family, would always give me expectations to live up to yet didn't have to her self, have completely disproportionate emotional responses to situations and call it my fault (once blew up in a restaurant owned by my friend in front of a lot of my friends and almost got me knocked out by the chef when I went to calm things down and 4 months into our relationship was jealous of my haircut by an ex so she had a friend cut off all of her hair), or withhold affection as a lesson for some slight. Finally brought it to her attention in a calm manner after a particularly drunken episode of bashing directed towards me and she absolutely flipped her shit and ended things saying I was controlling abusive and selfish - I was anything but. It's over a week later and I am still going "wtf". Kinda miss her, but starting to count my blessings as the "don't stick your dick in crazy" mantra is becoming true... Oh. I am hitting the gym starting monday because she told me I would never be able to get the body I had in highschool back. Im not fat, just not in the best shape I've ever been in. Friend is a personal trainer so he's getting me going. | Stuck my dick in crazy, she called me crazy when I told her that her crazy was hurting me and ended things. Hitting the gym monday |
t3_43k52h | relationships | Me [31 F] with my boyfriend [33 M] Off/On for 4 years (currently on for 6 months), he doesn't spend time with me and I'm at my wits-end over it | We have been on/off for a long time- currently back "on" for 6 months since I moved to the city where he relocated. We agreed to build our relationship back up, basically from scratch.
However, I am very frustrated with the lack of time we spend together. I am lucky if we see each other once a week these days. Sometimes we don't see each other during a week at all. He has jammed his schedule full of things and there is often no room to include me in there. He doesn't even include me in plans or invite me along- like to friend's birthday parties at bars and such.
I have voiced my displeasure with this and things never seem to change. I can't keep saying it, I feel like I'm nagging and almost begging him to spend time with me, which I'm sure is a good ego stroke or something.
I'd like for our relationship to progress and for us to get closer, and at different stages in our on/off history, we have been really close and things have been very nice. But this time around it is just kind of weird and somewhat of a disconnect between us. | my boyfriend doesn't spend enough time with me, I'd like to get closer but am unsure how to do that without being a nag about it all the time. Suggestions? |
t3_3nnaym | tifu | Tifu by selling carrier bags for 5p today. | So some of you guys might know the UK has just brought in a law that all UK businesses that supply plastic bags with over 250 full time staff must charge for their carrier bags a minimum of 5p.
Anyway, I thought because we are a big company we should be charging for carrier bags, 1500 customers later and we've made a fortune on them, over £120 today from 6am to 4pm. I get a call from my district manager about 30 minutes after I leave asking why the tills from the morning shift were all 10-20 quid up, I couldn't explain why. SO I had to return to work and undergo an internal investigation for a few hours. That just finished a couple of hours ago and they've gotten to the cause, the trouble is what I did was against company policy and at the time I was afraid I was going to get demoted or sacked.
Thank fully I didn't and the money has since been given to a respective charity which is nice. Our district manager is not happy and I was given a warning. It wasn't illegal though as many businesses charge for their bags even if it doesn't come under the new law. | Always read your emails at work because if you don't you could fuck up like me and nearly loose your job by selling plastic bags. |
t3_3b5uxo | relationship_advice | Hello, I'm [19/f] and I have a boyfriend of 2 years [22/m] I need advice to help understand his side? | Hello, I'm new to reddit but my boyfriend is on reddit all the time. Okay so I have been with this guy for 2 great years and it is now my longest relationship I've been in, he's been the same since the beginning, he doesn't believe in drugs, drinking, lying or cheating which I love and is a first for the luck in men... I mean boys I've received in the past. I am very emotional and I tend to cry a lot over small things but he ignores all of this and it just makes me feel worse. I tell him and all he says is if he does anything to make me feel better it would just be fake because he won't mean it but I just wish he would show that he cares more (he also knows this) he knows how boys ignored me in the past and he knows it hurts me when he does the same thing but he still says he won't change because he doesn't want to be fake. Am I being irrational for wanting him to show he cares? Please help me see and understand how he feels. I don't want to give up a long happy relationship with him or his friends and family just because i was over emotional and he'll make me feel unimportant some times. | My longest relationship, in love, over emotional/insecure, bf ignores my emotions/seems emotionless some times, don't wanna give up on us. |
t3_18qyxr | jobs | Advice needed | Hey guys, I'm a bit stuck here. I'm applying for jobs at the moment and need some advice.
I've been unemployed for probably about 7 months now. I was only at my last about for about 1 month because I was let go. Not my fault though.
I play in a band and we got given an arts grant from the government (even before I got the job) to fly an engineer over from Germany to record our album and it had been planned for months. So I explained it to my boss and all that and they have me the time off. Unpaid. When it was time for me to go back to work they called me the day before and said I'd been replaced and that was that.
So what I'm asking is - should I add in my 1 month work at this job to my resume or leave it out? If I leave it out it will look I have done nothing since my job before that one which must be a year or over now but if I leave it in I will have to explain what happened there.
I'm leaning towards leaving it in and explaining what happened so it looks like I've done something other than a year or longer ago...
Advice? | Applying for jobs - was only at last job 1 month and was let go (not my fault). Should I add it to my resume and then explain what happened at interviews or leave it out? |
t3_2agl3l | running | A dull pain under Gluteus Maximus? | So i'm just wondering if anyone has experienced a similar problem and what did you do to make it go away.
I'm getting a dull pain right under Gluteus Maximus when i'm running. I think it's an old basketball injury because i've been dealing with it for years but i can't make it go away. It's not to painful because i can still run but it is annoying. It never hurts when i walk but when i start to run I get this dull ache and if i'm doing a long run my leg will get a little bit numb. It doesn't matter how much rest i take whenever i pick up running the pain returns.
If anyone has an idea what it is I would really appreciate it! I have considered it to be a torn muscle but that would heal if i rested. Now i'm thinking it has to do something with a pinched nerve?
Thanks for your suggestions :) | A dull pain under gluteus maximus every time i run, slight numbness in the leg during long runs, have tried resting/didn't help! |
t3_1yj4tg | relationships | Me [20 F] with my bf [20 M] of 3 years, has decided to go overseas for a year | My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 years and it has been a happy relationship. He went studying abroad for 3 months overseas and has come back recently.
The first week was great but I asked him if he saw a future with me. He said he didn't want to commit to anything because we were still young and he was thinking of studying abroad again for a year. He doesn't want us to break up but he doesn't think it's fair to me if we do a LDR and put me through it.
I want him to go abroad, because it's a great opportunity and I know he'd regret it if he didn't go but when I told him this he said he didn't want to regret going and always thinking about what could have been between us. He keeps saying he loves me and says he doesn't to break my heart.
We've agreed to stay relatively normal until this opportunity is certain and enjoy the time that we have together. I'm not sure how to deal with this because I'm sad and I want him to stay but I also want him to go as well. He feels the same way and we both feel lost.
Sorry if it seems jumbled and rambling on. Just trying to see what other people think. | relationship of three years is at a standstill because bf might be going overseas for a year and both parties are lost on what to do. |
t3_1rmkny | relationships | I [M 18] need to make sense of a breakup I had with my now ex girlfriend [F 18] We were together for almost three years | It's been about a week since my ex girlfriend told me she wanted a break, not a breakup, a break. Now today she tells me that she wants to break up.
I had thought about this possibility, as "breaks" often point to break ups. But now that it has hit me, I'm trying to make sense of the whole thing.
What confuses me is everything seemed fine just about a month ago, and then I started noticing that she was becoming a bit distant. We had a great relationship and then out of nowhere we've broken up. She did say that she was interested in another guy, but I don't see how a small crush could destroy a committed relationship.
Today she told me that she wants us to still be friends, but she feels that it would be best if we try to move on. She did mention that we might get back together in the future, but I have a feeling that's false hope. For anyone who has been in this situation, do you know what happened? Is there anything I can do to repair the relationship? I should also mention that, to my knowledge, she is not currently involved with anyone else, and she still cares for me, just not in the same way I suppose. | How could a relationship abruptly end after three years when things seemed fine not long before? Is there anything I can do? |
t3_54y8nl | Dogtraining | My dog gets nervous going into Doggie Daycare. Is it better to leave him home alone in his crate? | I adopted my dog (45 lb pitbull, 1.5 years old, neutered) 3 months ago. I've been bringing him to daycare for the past two weeks, and he's been doing great and seemed to like going there, but this week he didn't want to go into the building when we arrived. He got somewhat low to the ground and shaky, and it took some time and attention to get him to enter. The behaviorist at the daycare said he's been doing generally great once he gets inside, but he's seen him getting kinda snippy/growling at other dogs in close quarters when they gather around a gate to be let outside. He thought my dog is lacking in confidence and recommended obedience or agility training to help with that.
The daycare has a lot of dogs in a few large indoor and outdoor spaces. I can see the dogs on [webcams] and my dog looks like he's doing fine, but I'm afraid I'm torturing him by bringing him to DDC every day. On the other hand, I thought maybe the socialization would be good for him, and healthier than sitting in a crate all day. Do you think DDC is helping or hurting his confidence? Should I stop bringing him there?
One last thing I should mention. I've brought him to dog parks in the past and he does well 90% of the time, but sometimes he bullies smaller dogs(humping and dominating) and gets snippy/barky/defensive with bigger high energy dogs. | If my dog seems to lack confidence and dislike DDC, is that reason enough to stop bringing him there, or all the more reason to bring him? |
t3_1ibdbc | Parenting | Anyone else have super skinny babies? (EBF) | My first (2 years old) was super skinny, even with formula, until about 6 months and he chubbed up a LITTLE. (I tried breastfeeding, never should've given up but I did because it was stressing me out so much =c He was given formula from a couple days old til ... I don't remember when but I stopped trying to breastfeed/pump when he was 4 months)
My 2nd (3 months old) is super skinny and no matter how much I feed her, she isnt really getting any chub. I breastfeed her only.
I'm also not losing any weight. I look a little bit thinner but I'm not losing any numbers on the scale.
So, I'm also wondering if any parents with skinny babies tried anything to help them gain a little more weight.
Or am I worrying to much about it? | Did you do anything differently to make your milk fattier? Or did they chub up as they got older? |
t3_4xotn5 | relationships | 23 y/o F, met 24 y/o M in college and reconnected on tinder but.. | So, when I was freshman in college I'd occasionally see someone I thought was cute but we never spoke. We matched on Tinder and he told me he was into me back then, then asked to ask hang out over this past weekend.
I have at least 4 or 5 pictures of myself on Tinder and the guy obviously knows what I look like since he has seen me in person although its been awhile.
Thing is.. I got braces on my top teeth 5 days ago and am extremely self conscious about them. I will have them on for 3 months, which isn't a long time I know, but still. On tinder, I have pictures with my teeth showing but with no braces on them. Should I tell him and I have them and act like its no big deal, so hes not surprised when he sees me in person? Ive been dodging hanging with him because of this. Also...is this a turn off? | met someone from college, they want to hang out, I recently got braces and am reluctant to meet them because of it. |
t3_31p51a | personalfinance | 21 year old male, money is slowly adding up. What should I do with it? (CAN) | I am a 21 year old male who found a passion for trades during my university years. I was a full time student working for a plumbing company part time. Realized school was going to take me where I did not want to go, and I decided to withdraw and pursue plumbing. Within the last 8 months I have gained over $14 000 in my checking account.
I'm still living with my parents and intend to do so for another couple years until my significant other is finished with school and finds herself a substantial job. I have no expenses other then my phone bill which comes to around $60 a month. My employer recently mentioned that I should get ready for a big summer, expect overtime and a few more hours a week, which is great. The more money the better. I just don't know what to do with it. I am in need of a vehicle, what should I look for, brand new, moderately used, a beater? I am new to all of this. I don't know the first thing about loans, or savings accounts or anything. Any advice would be appreciated, $14 000 may not seem like a hefty fund but when it comes to a 21 year old who wants to buy a new video game every other week, or even stupidly head to the casino one night. | 21 year old male with nothing besides a checking account with $14 000 on top of about $2000 a month. What do I do? |
t3_49ubeb | relationships | My wife [31 F] of nearly 2 years wants to start trying for a baby. I [38 M] want to wait until we are more settled for a number of reasons. | I live abroad with my wife but we're moving back to the UK at the end of the year. She has recently started worrying about her fertility clock and, has become very broody towards having children. It's reached a head the last few days where she says I need to compromise about starting sooner rather than waiting. She's become distant towards me, hoping for me to change my mind but probably sensing I won't, and therefore knowing she might have to make a bigger decision regarding our relationship than we'd imagined up til now.
A little backstory - She's always been keen on having a family where I have never really felt that same picture perfect desire. We've both enjoyed travelling and working all over the world but recently lots of her friends have had children/gotten pregnant and she's changed her ideas on 'future plans' to 'now'.
We had some chats a few weeks ago,and she had seemed ok with the idea of waiting until we have moved home and settled into life there with new jobs etc. It's going to be a big transition after five years away and I'm already stressing about how I'll handle the realities of living back in the UK after so long enjoying life anD other cultures abroad.
We have a house and a mortgage there and I was concerned that moving home with her already pregnant would add even more pressure to our relationship and the uncertainty at this time about job situations. Am I being selfish asking her to wait? Should I compromise? She stresses that she does not want to any longer and we need to start trying.
I feel like I am being forced into doing something I am not comfortable doing but understand her desire to have children is becoming overwhelming. It will be her 32nd birthday in May and she is worried the longer we wait the less likely or more complicated the process may be. In fact, she already has hinted at at an ultimatum that she won't wait until we're home to start trying.
My heads a mess. Sorry for the ramble. Thoughts and opinions very welcome. :( | my wife wants to get pregnant asap, I want to wait until we've moved home and are more settled financially/emotionally/etc. |
t3_2k89ds | relationships | I'm [27F] starting to come to terms with my bf's[39 M] minor and long distance emotional infidelity. | 4 years together and my BF still keeps in touch with various girls from his past. some were flings, with some he was actually in love, none are actual ex-gf. so what i would call unfulfilled romance? which i find far more problematic than an ex partner that you still have affection for.
to be short, there were lots of mini events all throughout our relationship, involving communication with these other women that included the expression of ehm.. intense feelings?
such as "i miss you" "kisses, love" "i think a lot about you" "i had a dream about you" and so on and so forth. i've been posting here before and some of you have categorised this as emotional infidelity.
these behaviours don't seem to have an end, but i don't believe they are manifested anywhere else but online. partly because of large distances between these other women and us.
i'm starting to accept it finally. it's been very hard. i dislike the possibility of them evolving into more than just what they are, and i'd hate to find out at some point in the future, after perhaps a breakup, that he ended up with one of these ladies.
most of all i hate the dishonesty. all the information i've got i had to literally fight for. but eventually was some form of "coming clean" from his side.
any advice is appreciated. | I'm starting to get over the issues i had about my partner's emotional infidelity, but do you think i shouldn't be accepting this? |
t3_2fckpr | relationships | I [20 M] with my "friend" [20 F] what am I doing wrong? | So we met a few weeks ago so far everything has been really good. We chat every day she's really cool. We got into a really deep conversation that involved a lot of personal stuff today any way I asked her if I was some one she would date... So I got the hole I'm just looking for friends talk, I'm fine with that in fact she is they type of girl I could be friends with.
So She sends me a lot of mixed messages she sends me flirty texts then the next minute she sends me all these problems she has like I'm her friend again. So any way I work shifts late at night and she knows this and I was falling asleep so I said goodnight. Normally she sends me back goodnight sweet dreams or something flirty with xoxoxo but she snapped at me and was like fine if you need sleep go to bed goodnight... Even though most nights she falls asleep and texts me hours later.
I gave in and said I can chat a little longer and now she says I'm watching tv I will talk to you when the ads are on.
I'm just wondering what I could possibly be doing wrong or am I not doing something I'm supposed to? I guess I'm just after some girl tips or some advice as I'm pretty new to this. | I don't have a dad so some advise on what really I should be doing or what I'm doing wrong possibly? Or is this just what happens with girls. |
t3_tcsbn | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, when's a time you were hated on just for being from a different country? Bet you weren't saved by a man and his monkey | So, when I was in 8th grade (2006) my family took a trip to Israel. Now there's 5 of us, I was 14, littler sister was 11, and older brother was 17, and my parents. We are a white American family, raised in the church. But I digress, so the first few days of the trip were fascinating, we got to go all over and see some pretty crazy biblical shit and just do touristy things, but by day 5 we were set to tour the Muslim quarter. One of my best friends from home at the time was actually of middle eastern descent and I was looking forward to see how they lived in this part of the world. Well anyway, right when we got out of the car with our tour guide men started throwing rocks and pipes at my family, it was one of the scariest moments of my life, we just took off with our tour guide and ran to safety in a marketplace. From here we regrouped and attempted to keep going, the next hour or so was uneventful and just basically a big history lesson. But then we took a turn and people started to crowd all around us yelling out "fuck America" and "fuck George Bush", I almost shat myself. So they were closing in all around us and then - I shit you not - a pretty good sized Israeli street entertainer runs in between us and the crowd with his monkey jumping all around and he tells us to run, which we did. Fast. Needless to say this was a scary but definitely one of the most bizarre days of my life. Not many people can say a monkey saved their family. | Went to Israel, wrong side of town, pipes and rocks thrown at family, circled, saved by man and his monkey. |
t3_3r2qh7 | relationships | I [24, F] suspect that my SO [30, M] is abusing Ketamine and hiding it from me. | He (who I'll refer to as Peter) and I have been together for 14 months. We have (had?) a wonderful relationship, and my daughter gets along with him well.
Before we got together, Peter explained to me that he was an ex Ketamine addict, with a couple of minor relapses, and that this addiction had been so bad that it had cost him his bladder. As he was something special, I let it go and said that I could deal with addiction but not lies.
Fast forward to 10 months in. Something is off. You know how sometimes, you just...know? I tried to calmly call him on it a couple of times and it got me nowhere. Eventually at his birthday party (mid September), surrounded by friends of his using K, I caught him. He admitted to using it several times over the past couple of months. We nearly broke up.
Long story short I gave him a second chance. I made him get treatment for the depression that he said caused the relapse, encouraged him into joining a Narcotics Anonymous group and addressed the issues with myself/our relationship that he said weren't helping. It's been hard, and he has been quite defensive at times.
I suspect that he continues to use, but I don't have any proof. Talking to him gets a denial. Am I just being paranoid? I don't want to throw what we have away. Please give me some advice. | I suspect that my SO, whom I adore, continues to abuse Ketamine behind my back. Seeking advice on how to proceed. |
t3_ukk31 | AskReddit | Future sister in law-I can't stand her | Hey Reddit. Throwaway for privacy concerns.
My boyfriend, Chuck, and I have been dating for 2 years and were friends for a while before we started dating. We have spoken about marriage and how we'd like to get there eventually, but we are, for all intents and purposes, taking it slow on the marriage front.
His younger brother, Mitch, got engaged recently, after dating this girl (Samantha) for a very short amount of time. They are both each other's first significant other. The wedding is set 2 months after the engagement happened. My boyfriend and I seem to be among the very few people who think this is a terrible idea.
Sam is such a sweet girl who means well and is nice to everyone and happy all the time. She is also very loud and hyper and antagonizes everyone (not in a mean way, just a playful "pay attention to me" kind of way), which is getting old very fast. I am getting REALLY fed up with her 'holier-than-thou' attitude. I always feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I'm talking with her, because it seems like almost everything offends her, whether she understands it or not. I feel like I can't have a full on, regular conversation with her without her judging me for my lack of faith or because I have a negative attitude about something or am just having a bad day. If you were to ask for advice from her, all she would say is "ask God for help and it will be okay," or something useless like that. *I'm not knocking anyone's faith here, I'm just saying that despite her self-proclaimed attitude of wanting to help people all the time, that is not helpful advice, regardless of anyone's religious views.*
Whether it works out for Mitch and Sam in the long run or not, I know she will be in my life for a while, and I am having a hard time putting up with her antagonizing manner and I'm sick of her shoving her religion down everyone's throat. I don't want to take the dickhole route and just ignore her or be mean to her, so does anyone have any suggestions on how to stay sane and civil around her so I don't have to avoid her completely? | Boyfriend's brother's fiance is annoying and the more I get to know her, the less I like her. However, I have to put up with her for a while, and frequently. Advice? |
t3_3ojekn | relationships | I (22F) just had an emotional phone call with a former flame (25M) who lives overseas. We live on opposite ends of the world, but our connection is strong and now I want to try and make it work. Has anyone got any advice for long distance love? | We met when I was doing an internship in france for 8 months. I live in Australia so it's very far away obviously. We started off very casual but our feelings grew tremendously and he is by far the best guy i've had a relationship with. It's been 6 months since I left him to come home. We decided not to do long distance, so we essentially broke up when I left, but it's been hard.
We just had a call for the first time in a few weeks, where we talked for hours. It was amazing and we both stated how much we missed each other, and that spark just came right back. Now I want to try and make it work. I want us to be together. We are perfect for one another and I cannot give up without trying. I know he feels the same. The only problem is:
1) He speaks french, and very little english. I speak english and very little french. There is a language barrier which could be a big problem down the track, I don't know.
2) I am in another relationship right now. It's been going on for about 3-4 months and I do love this new guy, but these feelings for French guy keep creeping back in so I'm considering breaking up with him (new guy)
3) We live on opposite sides of the world. For anything to ever work then one of us needs to relocate.
4) The money is a difficult thing. We both want one another and both want to be together but we cannot afford trips all the time to see each other. We have both said it is too hard to a do a long distance relationship because we just cannot commit to travelling so often to see each other.
Has anyone had anything similar here? Have you been able to make it work with an overseas love? | Met an amazing guy overseas. We both want to commit and make it work with one another but we don't know where to begin. How do you try to dedicate yourself to someone who lives on the other side of the world? |
t3_i5chn | AskReddit | Would you rather have a hard-working job or get paid to do absolutely nothing? | I'm asking because, for my summer job, I'm working as an IT intern, making good money, but I don't actually have to do anything. My job is to make sure the computer running conversions doesn't error, but if it does, I don't even have to fix it. I just have to tell someone. Needless to say, I get extremely bored doing nothing, but I don't complain because at least I have a job.
Some of my friends, on the other hand, are doing extremely hard work for less money than me. While I give them credit for actually having to do stuff, most days, I wish that I actually got to work for a living, rather than just coasting by.
What do you think? If you could get paid the same wage for a job, but your options were to do hard, physical labor, or do absolutely nothing, which would you choose, and why? | I do nothing for good money, but I wish I could actually work. Would you take a "lazy" job if you could? |
t3_1cp8yc | relationship_advice | [19/m] My girlfriend [18/f] of two years spent the night with her best boy-friend from high school and claims they only kissed. | As the title says, we've been together for two years. During those years, there have been similar accidents such as this. This is the first time that I've suspected she's had sex with someone else.
Background: They dated when she was a freshman and he was a junior. She says that they never had sex while they dated, and because of that she has always been curious how he is in bed. She also has this kind of fetish where she wants to kiss all of her friends. She usually tells me right after she does and I give her a slap on the wrist, so to speak.
Such was the case with what happened last night; I've been away in another state for a week, with plans to stay longer, and she calls me late at night to tell me that she's going over to his house to play Minecraft with him, and that afterwards she'll call me (as we haven't spoken for a while and we wanted to catch up). I stay up for a while, but grow tired and go to sleep. I wake up in the morning to see if she had called; no call. I go about my regular routine in the morning and receive a call around noon from her. She tells me that after playing Minecraft late into the night, they snuggle up in his bed and try to go to sleep, but he starts humping her leg "like a dog". Then they begin making out. Then they went to sleep.
I'm confused, r/relationship_advice. I've put up with her kissing her friends occasionally, much to my dislike, but I feel she's just gone to far this time, and I fear that they did have sex. I do love her, and I want to stay with her... I just don't know what to do. | Girlfriend goes over to guys house, sleeps in his bed with him, he humps her leg for a while, they make out, I fear they had sex, what do? |
t3_x4w6h | relationships | He treats me better now that we broke up, should I kwwp some hope there? or just forget about him? | We dated for 2 years, I'm 26 and he's 27, I really thought that I had found the love of my life and he used to say that as well, we had plans and dreams together, this last months he had a lot of tension at work, so he became distant and was always angry, I tried to support him until everything got better. So after a while we got back on the good track, happy and pretty much in love again. Now he received a shcolarship to live abroad, we talked about me joining him in there, but it'll be in about 5 months. Work got bad again, and adding up his scholarship and the time we would be apart, he got all anxious and in a bad mood all the time with me, so we talked and he decided to break up, but still wants to be a part of my life so he asked me to keep in touch in a normal and regular basis (just if I wanted to, if not he'll totally get it). I accepted and now it's like he didn't have any kind of stress whatsoever, we even have more contact than before, just like at the beginning of the relationship. He's treating me so much better than before the break up, and even told me that he still wants me to go abroad. I'm so confused, What's wrong? he still loves me? why couldn't he just behave like this while we were together? | So broke up with me, and now treats me better than when dating, even talks about a chance to get a future together. |
t3_lyfpd | personalfinance | I just got a job but taxes confuse me? Where do I start? | College student, twenty, just got a job. Basically I get paid to attend class and take notes for this association. I filled out forms like the W-4 to the best of my ability, but I felt embarrassed for myself on how much I didn't know when it comes to taxes and shit.
Whenever I didn't understand some term, I looked it up and tried to learn to the best of my ability, but it's confusing as fuck. I don't understand when you're supposed to file taxes or any shit like that, but I don't know where to start? I tried googling and learning from government websites, but I get overwhelmed with the wall of unfamiliar tax/legal jargon. Where the fuck did you people learn this shit?? | Retarded 20 yr old gets a job, doesn't know shit on taxes or legal shit, wants to learn. How or where did you people learn this stuff from? |
t3_ns9r5 | AskReddit | I almost ruined my parents' marriage 9 years ago, and now I want to apologize to my father. Good idea, or let it go? | Long story short, when I was 12, I found a bunch of my dad's porn on our family computer. I was devastated and showed my mom, and she almost left him (we spent a few nights at a friends house, and they went to couples' counseling for years after that).
It wasn't the first time she had seen his stash, but he had "promised to stop, yada yada."
Anyway, now I'm 21, and realize how ridiculous my and my mom's reactions were. I still think it's a bit harsh for a 12 year old to find her dad's porn, and he should have maybe hid it better (it was literally staring me in the face), but I feel really really terrible for the pain I helped to cause.
I love my dad more than anything, but I can't help but think that this still subtly haunts our relationship, and I hate thinking that I in someway made him believe that his sexuality was a bad thing. I would really like to tell him that I understand now, and that I hold no grudges --that I understand that sexuality is normal (I doubt my parents are still very sexual at all) and that I love him and don't judge him. But would this just embarrass him further --should I let sleeping dogs lie? | 9 years ago I almost ruined my parents' marriage by exposing my father's porn stash. I would like to apologize to him for the pain I caused, but don't want to embarrass him further |
t3_2td3jb | relationships | Me [17M] with my girlfriend [16F] of almost three years, I feel we've become incompatible and I have lost feelings. | I know not many posts here are from 17 year olds. But I'm in need of some mature advice.
So I've been dating my girlfriend since we were in 8th grade. We've grown up and matured together. We were great as 14 and 15 year olds for the most part, little arguments.
About a year ago my mom found a vape I have and freaked out, and one of the agreements about me still having more than just a bed is that i see a psychologist. This was very odd, as I'm a totally normal teenager, no underlying issues or conditions and my use of the weed was responsible. But I was open and the doctor and I ended up discussing how I push away my feelings, to avoid conflict and please others. So after those appointments I actually bring up things that bother me to my girlfriend, instead of pushing them aside in her interest. This has changed our relationship immensely and I think I've realized that she's great when there are no problems, but any mention of an issue or something she did that bothers me and she is personally insulted, i.e. tells me I'm breaking her heart and that she'll never be good enough for me. For the last year I hear things like this at least once a week. As we're faced with issues I've began to see that I matured more than her. And yes, I am aware that a 17 year old talking about "how mature he is" probably sounds silly to some. But she still handles problems like a child, and I don't know how much more I can take.
So I've posted here for two reasons, input on this situation, and, as I'm very close to the decision, what would be an ideal way to break up with her? She has bad anxiety and wants nothing other than to be with me forever, so I know this will be knife through her heart. I've been there for her through everything, and am her coping mechanism for many things, this will be her first big issue where I won't be there. I've never had a real breakup, and my first will be a 3 year relationship with someone I once loved. I need some tips. Thank you! | I've changed, looking towards breaking up with first LTR. Worried about her anxiety and insecurity and would like some tips to make it easier on her. |
t3_qycpf | AskReddit | What are some of your worst camping experiences | When I was about 13 I went on a boy scout camping trip. I was really didn't want to go because it was religiously based and I hate the outdoors. So the outdoors + mormonism was hell. On the first day, we set up camp and I had to share my tent with this kid who smelled like onions. That night it was freezing cold and onion boy kept rolling onto me. On the second day we went hiking. While we were walking on this trail I tripped on a tree root and got a stick stuck in my leg. It went under the skin so you could see the stick from my knee cap up to my thigh. I had to get 30 stitches. I thought I was good so I went back to camp. That night was the same as the first. On the third day we did a boot camp thing. We had to exercise the whole day. They made me participate even though my leg still hurt like a mother fucker. That night was the same as the rest. On the last day we went swimming in a river that was close to the camp site. I refused to got swimming and I decided to read a book. The scout master pushed me into the river and got my copy of Slaughterhouse Five wet. We went home and I told about my experience and that I hated the outdoors. BTW, that river was filthy and my puncture wound got infected with staph. I almost lost my leg. I luckily didn't have any long lasting nerve damage. Also, my mom is making me go to another camping trip this week and I really don't want to. | I went camping and had to sleep next to a kid who smelled like onions, got a stick stuck in my leg that got infected with staph and I almost lost my leg. Now my mom is making me go back. |
t3_32ynux | relationships | Me [21M] with my GF [21F] 4 months, short-description | Told my current girlfriend (official 2 weeks, but seeing each other for 4 months), about a girl I was seeing a bit when we first met back in October. We spoke about it about a week ago because I didn't want to keep it a secret anymore now that its official.
Met this girl a week before I met current girlfriend, and this girl moved away on exchange in December.
GF isn't too happy about it and is feeling pretty upset about this situation, but it happened before we were exclusive. She says that this has tainted her view of me, which really hurts. Ive changed, and know that I want her and Ive been reassuring her this, yet it is only temporary until she gets sad about it again.
I feel really shitty about it/not telling her earlier, but I cant change the past and want things to be great with my GF again. | Current girlfriend is upset/sad about a past casual relationship that is affecting the relationship. How do I make her feel better/assure her that this is what I want? How do you get past something like this? |
t3_gdr1l | relationships | My boyfriend doesn't want me getting involved in "his" sport | My boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for about two years.
We're doing really well. ATM we're living a couple hours apart: I'm in the middle of my degree, he makes a decent living in the trades.
He's really into martial arts and has been doing it for about 10 years. Recently I've noticed a growing interest myself, but when I mentioned this to him, he got defensive and said he'd be uncomfortable with me entering into the sport. He said, "[Martial arts] and I have been together a lot longer than we have."
When I pushed him for an explanation, he said it was because then we wouldn't be "equal" and he would then be my superior, and he doesn't think that's right in a romantic relationship. (Also, our city has only one MA facility so there's no chance of us training separately if I were to take it up.)
Those are the reasons he gave me but I wonder if there isn't something deeper going on here. For the record, he's very much a gender equalist and is very supportive of me in most of the cool, feministy ways a good guy should be, and I know he doesn't have a problem with strong women.
Should I let it drop or is he being unreasonable? | My boyfriend doesn't want me practising the same martial arts as him because a) it "belongs" to him and b) we would no longer be "equal". Huh? |
t3_tr7r2 | AskReddit | Graphic Artists of Reddit, I'm a designer stuck in a dead end job in an unprofessional office. It appears almost impossible to get out. What do I do? | Background: I have my degree, and I'm very confident in my capabilities as a designer. Unfortunately, the economy was trashed when I graduated, and this was all I could find.
I don't want to sound like I'm just complaining for the sake of it. I'm sure plenty of redditors hate their jobs. My problem is, as a creative and a bit of a perfectionist, it's nothing short of tormenting for me to see sub-par work constantly leave my desk because I'm given neither the time nor resources to do it *right* (e.g., rather than creating new logos for many clients, we often strip the names out of old, rejected logos and put the new names in. This, to me, undermines the entire process of creating a logo for a business). I've brought up the issue before, but it gets me nowhere. Perhaps I'm just young and naïve, but I'm confident that there's better work out there and that I am more than capable of doing it.
My problem is that they've made it **very** difficult to leave. I don't get any vacation or sick time to use for an interview, and my hours shift regularly making it difficult to schedule an after-hours interview. I had to sign a no-compete clause, stating that I won't work for a competitor within 75 miles for 12 months after I leave. If they find out I'm looking for other work, they're likely to fire me on the spot. I cannot afford to be without a job. I'm 400 miles from my nearest family member, and I have many bills (student loans, etc.).
As a last resort I will lie to them to get the time off I will need, but that really isn't my style, and as much as I disagree with how they run the place, they did employ me. | I know I'm capable of doing great work, but due to contractual obligations and lack of time off, it seems like I can't leave my current job. I cannot afford to be jobless. What do I do? |
t3_2du54o | relationships | Me [18F] with my BF___ [18M] have been together for two years we broke it off for a year now we're back together, However Mom and Dad never liked him! What should I do? broke it off a year ago and now | For Two years I had dated my boyfriend (lets call him Robert) and we broke up for a year due to some personal issues he was going through, also he was a bit of a jerk and never really cared about me. Now, we're back together and everything has changed, he is quite the nice guy he comes and visits me at work, visits my college.His entire personality has changed. he quite the mature guy now :)
But the biggest issue I have is not with him but with my parents. My parents have never liked Robert mainly because when we dated we got into some trouble. But I mean come on we were really young and immature high schoolers. My parents for the longest time never approved of me dating anyone until my senior year so that's the other reason why they don't like him. Because I hid the fact that him and I were dating. But, Now i'm in college and i want to tell them that i'm back together with him.
My Parents told me that by the age of 18 i could date whoever i wanted; it wouldn't be up to them to tell me who I can and cannot date but the fact that they didn't like him before could interfere with that. What should I do? Robert says that he wants to meet my parents once he's become something of himself so they actually have some sort of respect towards him. Is that the best idea? Reddit please help!! | Me [18F] with my BF___ [18M] have been together for two years we broke it off for a year now we're back together, However Mom and Dad never liked him! What should I do? |
t3_2mm8va | relationships | I [21F] am feeling hurt that none of my extended family remembered my birthday. | I turned 21 on November 15, this past Saturday. My boyfriend took me out to dinner and all that. My mom sent a card in the mail, but it wasn't postmarked until after my birthday. No one else remembered. No phone calls, cards or Facebook wall posts.
I know that as you get older you're no longer spoiled with gifts - but I thought people still thought of one another. I keep a calendar of birthdays and always send a card and call, and for some people I still send gifts/flowers. But no one did those things for me.
To add insult to injury, my cousin had a birthday November 12th, three days before mine. She also turned 21 - and it looks like she was overwhelmed by the calls, cards and gifts from family. Both our aunts and grandma sent gifts, many other sent cards. More than a dozen of our extended relatives (to whom we are related equally) posted on her Facebook wall.
The worst part is that on *my* birthday, my grandma called me to remind me that my cousin's birthday was that week, and tell me I should make sure I give her a call sometime over the weekend since 21 is a big milestone. On *my own* 21st birthday.
I don't mean to whine - I just want to know: is this actually normal? Do people stop caring about birthdays once you reach this age and my cousin is a special snowflake? Or *do* people worry about birthdays, and I should feel offended? | Should I feel hurt that no one except my boyfriend/mom wished me a happy 21st birthday? Or is it pretty normal once you reach this age? |
t3_4yfdkv | relationships | Me [25F] strange interaction with my boyfriend's [27 M] colleague [28M] who deliberately tried to make us argue. | My first post - sorry if I've posted in the wrong section - it kind of straddles relationships, personal problems etc.
Okay, so my boyfriend has started smoking again (but "only socially") which I absolutely hate its sometimes a cause of contention. Remember this fact.
Anyway, one night I meet up with bf and his colleagues for a night out, its the first time I have met some of them, in particular this guy "Salim". I have been made aware prior to us meeting that Salim slept with my bf's other colleague. I turn up and I am talking to some people and Salim sidles on in is very keen to meet the "new person". I am introduced as bf's "Mrs".
Night continues and at some point Salim sits next to me and tells me how great my bf is, how he is one to watch, and not many people get promoted so soon yadda yadda - really bigging him up.
Later on in the bar he sits opposite me and is telling me about his relationship problems (i make the connection that he cheated on his gf with my bf's colleague - he doesn't know i know that - i make an internal note that he's a douche) - all the while my bf is part of the conversation but Salim is only looking at me and talking at me. Bf aware of this and commented on it later)
Then after a while he gets up to leave. Gives me a hug, shakes bf's hand, and bends over and says audibly to both myself and bf "he's a great guy, smokes a lot though" and just walks off and goes home.
Bf looks confused. I am annoyed at bf who told me doesn't smoke often. Realise that Salim may want us to have an argument. Baffled as to what that was all about...
He obviously knew that that was a sensitive subject so why would he throw a grenade and not even stop to watch it go off? | Boyfriend's male colleague deliberately tried to cause us to have an argument, and I don't know what his motive was. |
t3_3zsvgv | relationships | I'm [21 F] having a hard time getting over a breakup with my first boyfriend [22 M] | Hi /r/relationships, this is my first time here.
Anyway, long story short my ex boyfriend recently graduated and moved away. We never really formally put an "end" to our relationship, but we both agreed we didn't want to do long distance which makes me realize since we're not doing long distance this means we're not dating...
This was my first relationship (his first one as well), and I wouldn't say I was/am in love but I've never really cared about anyone like this before. I'm a very emotionally closed off person, and it's hard for me to get close to people. We spent nearly all of our time hanging out together last semester, and now that I'm back at school by myself and I'm feeling really lonely and sad. Everything reminds me of him. We're also still in contact and text fairly often.
I still really like him, but we don't want to do long distance. Can anyone please give me some advice about how to get over a breakup that happened because of distance? I'm taking a fairly busy course load and have a lot of extracurriculars to distract myself, but I can't help but thinking of him all the time.
Thank you in advance! | Relationship with my boyfriend ended because he moved away and we didn't want to do long distance. How do I get over this breakup? |
t3_420kzq | relationships | How do I [19M] find out if my gf [19F] has an STD before we start a sexual relationship? | I just don't know how I'd bring up the topic, lol. I met her from my university about a week ago and I really like her, we talk a lot and everything seems to be going well. We've talked about sex and what we're both into and such. This will be my first sexual relationship in a while (6~ months) so I'm pretty eager to get into it, but even though I don't think she will have an STD or anything (and for anyone wondering i'm clean, only ever had 2 sexual partners before and they both asked me beforehand so it was less awkward), but it's obviously better to be safe than sorry.
I just have no idea how I would start such a conversation. Part of me thinks it isn't unreasonable to know if I am potentially going to be at risk, the same way as I am totally happy to be open with her about my sexual history. But then when it actually comes to starting the conversation, I just feel like I'm being rude or something or too personal - maybe because it has been such a long time since I have been without a partner. | about to enter a sexual relationship with a girl I'm seeing, wondering how to ask whether or not she has an STD without sounding insensitive. |
t3_17vx8z | relationships | Friend [m22] said he likes me, but I[f20] just recently got out of a 2 year relationship | A friend[m22] of mine[f20] recently told me that he likes me. I've only known him for about 4 to 5 months. He said he understands that I just got out of a relationship (2 year relationship) and that it's important that I stay single for some time. I really am not ready to begin a relationship with anyone, and I think he understands that but I feel that while I am not with anyone he will sort of wait until I am ready. He wants to go out this weekend, I mentioned it would only be as friends and that's when he told me that he liked me. I feel like he won't really see it as a friendship thing because of this. I am not sure what to do without hurting his feelings or "ditching" him. I feel like I should not hang out with him to prevent his feelings from intensifying, but I really don't know what to do. Help! | guy friend has a crush on, I don't want to lead him on. I just recently got out of a two year relationship. |
t3_33oq8f | relationships | Me [24F] with my [28/M] almost 1 year,he seems to have a crush on my friend | Now, my Boyfriend has hung out with this girl (who is single and a friend of mine) alone before, in a her-helping-him-out-with-a-project context, months ago, but apart from that I don't think they speak - they had never met until I started seeing him. She is extremely good looking, to a point I could never compete with.
Recently, we all saw each other again in a group context, and he did not stop staring at her the entire time, with an intensity I have never seen him use before. I am sure she must have noticed, as well as the rest of the room.
I don't believe he is the cheating type, nor do I think they have been doing anything covert together, but his eyes never left her the whole time we were out, and I felt awful about myself, and furious with him as a result.
Should I confront him about this? It made me feel upset, not wanting them to ever see each other again, but I don't want to seem like I don't trust him. | Think boyfriend is smitten with a female friend of mine, won't stop staring at her. Want to confront him, but not sure how to go about it. |
t3_3ky8m1 | relationships | My [25F] family [M/F 28-68] either interrupts or ignores me when I talk. am I really that much of a bore? | Background: I'm the youngest in my family and the only female sibling. I have three older brothers ranging in age from 28-38 and my parents are in their 60s. I will be honest, growing up they were all quite sexist towards me and I had a lot of double standards so I'm not sure if that fact is related to what I have to say next:
During family dinners whenever I start telling a story about work or everyday life that I really wanted to share--I am interrupted, practically when I start. The interruption is usually caused by one of my brothers who will try to make a joke out of something I say. Or my parents will chime in with a story related to that because they 'don't want to forget'. I have ADD so I lose track of my thoughts quickly. Even if I do try sticking with what I was going to say they keep interrupting me. By the time I remember what I was saying no one cares and even if I find a silence to start the story again they ignore me.
I don't offer up any story now unless I'm asked about work or something...but even then I will be interrupted eventually or ignored. I've tried calling them all out on this but it hasn't helped. I've talked to them separately, I've asked them politely and not so politely to stop, but they have not. My husband will specifically and loudly ask me to continue what I was saying because he sees my frustration. He doesn't have a clear answer as to why they do this to me.
I'm trying to figure out---are they all doing this because they are jerks? Or am I that boring or that bad of a storyteller that they can't bother listening? I admit that I used to go off on tangents but since my husband talked to me about staying straight on a story a couple of years ago, I've no longer taken so long. Maybe my family is used to me talking 10 minutes to tell a 60 second story and don't want to listen that long? | Can't figure out if my family interrupts/ignores me when I try to talk about my life because I'm boring or because they are jerks |
t3_153oqw | AskReddit | Reddit what is the funniest thing you have heard a coworker say? | Mine comes from an guy named Charlie I worked with at my last job. He was in the Army Reserve and he was a nice guy, but he was not very bright. Well we sold hunting tags/permits and during the sale you were prompted to ask several question by the machine.
So one fine day, a customer comes in for a standard hunting license with a waterfowl stamp. Charlie had just learned to use the machine and was doing the sale while I supervised. Charlie sells him the items and proceeds to the questions. Everything goes well until Charlie reaches the "Pheasant Stamp" question. Charlie looks at the words and says, "Sir, would you like to add on a Peasant Stamp to your license?" The guy is confused and says, "What the hell did you say". Charlied repeats Peasant again, and I began laughing. I explained that the stamp was good for "Pheasant" and that no stamp existed for "Peasants". | Coworker tried to sell a customer a "Peasant Stamp" because he did not know how to pronounce the word "Pheasant". |
t3_22ujtn | cats | About cats who have been separated from their mother too early | Hello, cat people! Last Monday, I adopted two adult cats. They have adjusted to the move pretty well, but the older cat (aged anything between 10 and 20) is more timid and anti-social. I studied the matter in the internet and came to the conclusion that she might have been separated from her mother too early: she doesn't cover her pee in the litterbox and is a bit unpredictable (when you pet her, she sometimes suddenly gets violent). Also, she seems to have some trust issues, though most of the time she's really sweet.
This all made me wonder one thing: the younger cat was said to be her daughter, but she always covers up after herself in the litter box. So my question is ( | ) can a kitten learn to cover up its droppings if its mother hasn't learned it due to having been separated from its mother too early? |
t3_42hemw | relationships | I [23 F] can't shake sickening feelings that occur when my boyfriend [25 M] of 8 months suggests a swinger lifestyle. Still monogamous, but with a twist. | To begin: we're solidly in love. Foundation of incredible trust. We knew we were best friends on the very first date. So delving into swinging isn't the most dangerous thing, given that we trust each other so much and our communication is open.
I am sexually open, very progressive, but a lot of me just wants a relationship that follows a standard path. We're meeting a couple for dinner tonight and I feel sleazy and alienated from him, despite his empathy through this.
Is his instinct to explore sexually just not compatible with my sensibilities? I think he is the most sensible, logical, liberal, empathetic person outside of this. Makes for a hell of a dilemma.
I want to be with him for the long haul. Can one have a serious long-term relationship after swinging? | Boyfriend is excited about swinger experiences, it makes me a little alienated. Can't shake yearning to have a completely "normal" relationship. Am I making a huge mistake to stay? |
t3_xe0j9 | dating_advice | We used to be close, but now she doesn't try anymore? | Okay, lets go back a bit. So there is this girl whom I've had a crush on for about 5 months now (by the way, she's known that I like her for about 2ish months). I really think I do love her, and my female friends who are close to her told (this was about two months ago) me that they think she likes me back. We were talking heaps and heaps, literally til late hours of the morning, then a bit at school and again after. She would often say 'hi' first (online and ikr...but I am talking more about online) which was awesome. Right up until I went overseas late June it continued like this. Unfortunately there was no way for me to contact her while I was overseas. Then I came back in mid July. I tried talking to her, and we talked a little bit but not like we used to. Two days after I came back it was prom. We danced a few times, and she wanted to dance with my too, and by the end of the night we were slow dancing. I hugged her goodbye and it seemed to be all good, but since then we have barely talked at all. She never says 'hi' first anymore (online or ikr) and I wish it was like it used to be. I really wish it was like it used to be, I really do love her a lot. So how can we be close like we used to? What should I do? Honestly I am often too afraid to just go up to her when she's with her friends who I don't really talk much to. Also, I don't want to annoy her (by constantly saying 'hi' first) so what is your advice on that? Would I annoy her? Is she maybe just going through a phase (she has got a lot going on at the moment) Any advice is truly appreciated. | We used to talk heaps, don't anymore since my overseas trip. How can I get close again and avoid annoying her (she knows I like her) |
t3_2rj4bd | jobs | Job interview, pretty anxious | I have an interview for a job in a few hours. It's not a particularly glamorous job, just a production worker at a meat processing facility (making sausages etc.) I dont have very much experience, my last job was a a line cook, so I'm not sure what to say at the interview. I've tried working out through the obvious things (why do you want to work here, what would make you an asset to the company, etc) and my answers feel pretty shallow. I've tried looking for interview advice online, but everything I find is tips for big marketing type jobs, not minimum wage high turnover jobs.
My biggest worry is that they're going to be unimpressed with my transportation situation (Public until I can get the cash to get my car going again, as well as the generosity of my retired grandparents.) I'm hoping if the topic comes up (Which I assume it will, I was briefly asked on the phone about it) that my explanation that I do have my own vehicle and that it only needs minor repairs will be enough to sate their worries about punctuality and attendance.
I have a good reference who can vouch for my spotless attendance record at my previous job, so I'm hoping mentioning that will help as well.
Every job I've had was pretty casual, hired on the spot or through someone I know. No interviews or resumes involved. This is my first time doing it, so I'm pretty nervous.
If anyone can give me some advice to calm my nerves, perhaps things a manager of a low-paying job might ask and appropriate answers etc. would be nice. Part of writing this is to help get over my anxiety, but I'd gladly hear from others about their experiences or tips so I don't make an idiot out of myself would be great. | never had to do an interview before, its not exactly a job requiring high skills, so I'm not sure what to expect really. |
t3_3t49n8 | relationships | Me [18 M] and [21 M] date have been seeing each other a lot, how to get to the next level? | Really bad title, so here's the story. I met this guy on Grindr (gay meeting app), and we've seen each other many times in the last two weeks, we go on 3-4 hour long walks all over the city, we talk a lot about a lot of cool things, we make each other laugh, everything's great. But it's still very ''friend'' and I'm really getting a huge crush on him, and I think he is too.
So tonight as we were walking I asked him something about his coming out to try and get closer to the subject, and he got really nervous, playing with his hands a lot which he never does, and talked about it, and he just really seemed uncomfortable talking about himself. When we left the subject and went back to general things he was normal again.
My feeling right now is that we like each other but he's extremely uncomfortable talking about personal stuff (He said so himself about other stuff), but that means I have to make the first step to make things clear (Are just friends or what). My choices are to either go for it in person and do a mini-rant and expose everything to talk about it, or to do it in text so he's more comfortable. I just don't know if that's a good idea... I'd like to know from people like him, how would you like things to be approached in this situation, from your point of view? Any tips are welcome | People who have trouble talking about personal stuff, how would you like someone who likes you and who you like to go about talking about relationship and love? |
t3_igho7 | AskReddit | What is your "Grade school loser/Real Life success" story? | My Story: I spent K-8 grade in remedial Math and English classes which never really helped me. I was very awkward, annoying, and confused about how to really do anything within my life. This carried over into High School were I struggled to make friendships that would extend outside of the walls of the school. I was a D-C student at the bottom of my class and almost had to repeat my Senior year. After Senior Summer School, I took a year off from to breath and figure out my life. I figure out photography was a good choice (being that my father was a photographer) and went to school for that. Currently I'm running my own nightclub/nightlife/event photography business making $30,000 a year and climbing 3 months after graduation. | I sucked hard core at school. No friends. Bad Grades. Went to Art School. Bad ass job photographing hot drunk chicks and famous DJs. |
t3_14k8og | relationship_advice | Want to get her (20f) back, not sure what to do. Aware it's probably a bad idea. | I'd been dating this girl for the past 2 months and things were going amazing. We had a incredible sexual chemistry and a lot in common. Pretty much everything seemed fine. The hiccup was that her best friend, who's living across the country, kept trying to convince her that she wasn't actually happy and that she needed to end things.
This week, mid – discussion she pulled out that she couldn't do this anymore. I told her that I want to make things work and that I didn't get what went wrong, so we talked the next day. Turns out, she made the decision impulsively, but she harbors some feelings for "the big ex", though she doesn't want to be with him and that it was unfair to be with me. I explained to her that I get it and that if things change; I want to give it another shot, because she's an amazing girl. It ended well, but now, I'm regretting the whole thing and I'm trying to figure out a way to get her back. I should preface this by saying that when I asked what happened now, she started crying heavily and telling me that she wanted to spend time with me still, but that she didn't feel ready to be with someone. It's been 4-5 days since breaking up. I know, it's a bad idea, I just feel like I need to fight for this. Oh, we're also seeing each other at least twice this week, and then again twice near new year's. If there's a need for further clarification, feel free to ask. | Broke up very amicably, still seeing each other because all our classes and friends are in common. Want to get her back. |
t3_1b38rq | relationship_advice | Teen Troubles [16/F] [16/M] | I [16/F] don't think that it's all his [16/M] leaving, but between more hormones then usual (new type of birth control) and him leaving me crying I don't why I've been acting like this. I'm usually not this overly-emotional, but lately I have been on-off crying and an emotional wreak. I've told him to just ignore me over this break, and he has. I can understand it, between having all of his buddies there and not having his cell on him, we haven'e been talking. But I can't help but feel a little rejected. I've been telling him to not worry about texting or calling me. I know that my rejected feeling is mostly my fault. But I really don't want to to worry him with me being overly emotional. I don't know if I should tell him how I'm feeling and see if it helps or if I don't say anything and just wait it out. I don't know what to do, I'm at a loss. | boyfriend on trip, I'm constantly crying, and overly emotional. Don't know I i should call him and talk to him or just wait till he comes back and talk to him then |
t3_4m0jbc | relationships | Me [39 M] with my Wife [35 M/F] 13 years married, communication issues sex, porn | Me and my wife have been married since long time, we went though a lot of stuff together that connected us and we love each other.
One of the biggest issue we are suffering though is related to sex. Pornography was always a no-go for her while I always had my phases of porn addiction.
I lied to her about the whole thing, mainly because I cannot argue with her about it - she caught me twice (once at the beginning of our relationship, once like two weeks ago) and she makes me feel very guilty about it and of course she is right to be angry.
I feel that I cannot argue with her about it because she has a very clear idea about what is right or wrong in the relationship and also how sex needs to be (very vanilla). Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad about that, i love tender sex but there is no way to explore anything with her because anything else is plain wrong for her (fetish, oral, roleplay).
The other thing about our sex life is that she can not reach an orgasm with intercourse alone - I need to touch her clitoris while we are having intercourse and this way we reach orgasm together. Again, not a big deal for me but she would not even allow me to make her come orally. Everything seems complicated and there are more 'dont's' then 'do's'.
I am lost because I don't know how to approach the whole thing: o the one hand there is me, a man where the father died early of alcoholism, the mother with mental issues who killed herself some years ago. On the other side there is my wife, with a paranoid controlfreak as a father and with her own anxieties and fears.
Anyway, I hope I dont sound too confusing but I hope to get some thought about how to talk with my wife about pornography and sex - its hard because I feel everything I say can be used against me and she has a tendency to get angry when we are talking about it and I feel often insulted and I am afraid of her.
p.s. sorry for bad english, not native speaker | Problems with porn and sex, dont know how to approach the topic since my partner gets angry on me, don't know how to deal with the anger and how to have a constructive discussion. |
t3_3hxybl | relationships | Me [18 M] with my potential hookup [18 F], unsure how to proceed | Matched with a girl on a dating app, there was some dirty talk and she mentioned she was really turned on by being eaten out and there was talk about me going over. However, it's been about a week, and although we've been texting on and off, when I tried to schedule a time, she kinda curved me. Essentially she isn't sure when she is going to have the house free / doesn't often have the house free. It's 100% believable that that is true, but now what?
I want to do it, but don't want to seem too pushy/needy about finding a place. Neither of us have cars. I don't want to throw this away just because I think she might be uninterested, what if those are just legit reasons? | I want to sex girl ( and she has expressed sex desire as well), she isn't sure of the logistics, and I don't know whether that is disinterest or not |
t3_27qez3 | relationships | Need a little advice! :/ | As the title says, I [20M] need a little advice...with a girl [21F]
Basically she is the ex of a friend of mine which makes it a bit complicated I guess and I don't want to 'betray' our friendship. They broke up more than 2 years ago and he already moved on with an other girl shortly after (2 weeks after...) We all went to the same school together but it is after we went to different universities I started talking to her. Almost 1,5 years ago. We became some sort of friends with benefits. She was the first person I ever had sex with. My friends found out about the fact that I had sex, because she left me a big ass hickey in my neck...and because I had an even bigger smile on my face. This was more than a year ago and I still haven't told them who I slept with. Nobody knows.
She told me in the beginning that she really liked me and that she actually prefered not to be FWB's. Back then I just wanted to have sex with someone. Now, more then a year later, I think I'm totally crazy about this girl. I started to really like her. She might not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she is to me. We get along really well. And she's crazy (in a good way) which I really love. She's funny, playfull, adventurous, cute,...
The problem is that I don't know how to handle this best. I don't want to lose my friends but I also don't wanna lose this girl because I think she is getting tired of this. This and the fact that I care a lot what other people say/think about me is why I haven't asked her yet if she wants to be my girlfriend.
Sorry for grammar mistakes or a bad layout. I made this post on my phone. | I love my friend his ex but I'm afraid I'll lose my friend(s) when I ask her out. |
t3_1n4w10 | relationships | Should I [M/21] move back in with my girlfriend [F/24] 2200 miles away? | I'm going to make this as brief as possible. My girlfriend and I met online, and for about 1 year we had a long distance relationship. We decided to move in together after the 1st year, with me moving 2200 miles to be with her. Our relationship was still very new at that point in a lot of ways, and our relationship while living together was very unstable as a result. We argued a lot, didn't understand how to deal with relationship problems, and she was very controlling. She wound up kicking me out several times over the course of my 5 months stay living there.
I wound up coming back after the final time she kicked me out, and I am currently living away from her now in my home town. It has been 5-6 months since then, and we've made a lot of progress in understanding our relationship and understanding each other.
I have a job lined up where she is if I were to move back, and she wants me to move back with her more than anything in this world, and she has wanted this for a long time now. She genuinely misses me, not just the thought of me, and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I currently lost my job here where I am living, and it seems like the decision to now move back is that much easier. I'm young, and I feel like giving this a chance may be the right decision because I genuinely love this woman more than anything and I can see spending my life with her. We get along so much better now and we've established boundaries and ways to deal with arguments/differences so much more.
Should I move in with her and give this another shot? I will be put on the lease, we will be signing a written agreement that she will not kick me out under any circumstance for a year (which she fully accepts and wants to do very badly), and everything else seems to be falling into place.
I would appreciate absolutely any advice Reddit, thank you! | Tried living with girlfriend for 5 months, wound up kicking me out, moved back home 2200 miles away, now considering moving back again. Should I? |
t3_fi2fq | AskReddit | Hey there Reddit, I have an awesome fella who's an ocean away, how do I make Valentine's Day epic for him? | My boyfriend is in the US and I am studying abroad for a semester in the UK. We've been dating for almost 7 months, and he recently flew over to celebrate our 6th month anniversary (romantic weekend, etc). Basically he's fantastic, and I want to make Valentine's Day great for him (it's his first with a girlfriend, and our first together). I'm a student, so unfortunately I don't have tons of cash, but want to do something special. I'm traveling to Ireland this weekend, so I was thinking of picking up a Claddagh ring, but thought it might be too feminine. I'd greatly appreciate your help, guys! | In a serious relationship with a great guy, we live in different countries, and I want to make Valentine's Day great for him. Student-budget ideas? |
t3_30av4o | relationships | My [20'sM] girlfriend [20'sF] has an extensive sexual history and some escorting. She does not allow me to have feelings about it. | This is a throwaway. We are both the same age and in our early twenties.
We've been dating for about a year. I have only had sex with two girls before her. 3 months into our relationship she told me she's had sex with 10+ guys, I was upset and had a bad night and made her feel bad for it. Apologized profusely the day after. Brought it up once again later on but never in the same capacity, just wanted her to talk to me and reassure me.
6 months in she told me that she escorted twice when she was 17. 9 months in she told me that the she had sex with 20+ guys, not 10+ like she initially told me. The reason she told me this was because of the guilt she felt at not telling me earlier, not because I pushed or asked.
Since the 6 month mark I have NEVER brought it up. At times she would say something that would bring that memory up for me and she could tell I'd get sad, she would reassure me to bring me out of it. I have never made her feel bad about it since the first night she told me she had sex with 10+ guys.
A couple days ago while figuring out a conflict she told me about how she saw a show where some guy told another guy that "what a girl did before you met her is none of your business" and how true that is. I rebutted with how I watch things and read things where guys are upset when their girlfriend has had like 3 partners before them. She told me how that night when she told me she had sex with 10+ guys affected her so badly and how the other time I talked about it too (BEFORE she ever told me about escorting or that its 20+ instead of 10+) because it made her "relive" it and it was a bad time in her life.
I don't know whether I'm right or wrong. Am I allowed to talk to her about it when I'm feeling insecure? Is that wrong and too much? | Girlfriend has had 20+ sexual partners and did escorting twice. Will not allow me to have feelings about it. Don't know whether right or wrong. |
t3_15dg1c | relationships | [21F], supposed to move in with best friend [21M] and [25M] in a month; best friend's brother [19M] interfering. | My best friend and his brother have been very close for a long time. His brother is rather immature, manipulative and possessive of my best friend - regularly making him feel horrible for spending a night out with some friends, for example, because he's away from the brother; appearing very offended if my best friend disagrees with him in any way, and so on.
His latest endeavour has been to claim that he also wants to move out, and that he wants to do it with my best friend (suddenly, after we pretty much finalised who would be in the house, and were organising rental inspections). This is now on hold.
My concern with this has several facets:
* They are both living at home, and having to live with two people adjusting to an adult environment is going to be much worse than one
* The 25M isn't in a stage of his life where childish antics are going to be welcome (more so than myself)
* The dynamic of the house will be thrown out by 19M, who will not be self sufficient
* If 19M succeeds, the first three facets will lead to me not having enough people to have a place to live. Which... is not good.
How can I make it so this is not happening, and the time where I'm not stressing about this at Christmas resumes? | My best friend's brother is manipulating my best friend; it's affecting my ability to have a roof over my head in a month. What do? |
t3_w9yas | dating_advice | Interested in a long time friend and id like a second (or third...or fourth even) opinion. (17M) | This has just really got me bummed out lately...again.
Once again I'm interested in the girl that I've liked on and off for years now. She and I were best friends way back in 1st grade. It was a private school and we both left the school that year but lived in different towns, so we were separated by schools. We went our ways and eventually met up at the church I used to go to at around 11ish years old. Became damn good friends again and stayed that way for a long time.
Great right? I wish. Meeting up again like that begins our unfortunate tango. Im sure she knows for a fact that I've crushed hard for her. And i know that she has too. But each little "crush session" never happened at the same time. I dated someone for a solid year (the girl was still on my mind then though) so nothing took off with us a few years back..
As time went on we grew apart because we both became busy and both stopped going to church (our main connection for awhile). A couple months ago we kind of reconnected and talked for at least a couple hours we just talked after getting ice cream (no Idea how..I may have texted her out of the blue or she did something..no idea). Nothing actually took off then either..probably because I was wrapped up with another girl at the moment in some bullshit. But now..now I really want something to happen. I don't think there's been a better time..because I'm single. I believe she is. And Im fallin hard again.
Last week we hung out for the day doing something we both like, but she brought friends and unfortunately I went all SAP and we did not hit it off at all. Each time we reconnect it's sort of awkward and I don't know why. We can talk about anything but lately it just seems strained..
What's your guy's take on this? Should I just go balls to the walls and pursue it? Or wait or something of the sort? If youve got questions and such, just shoot. I'll answer. | Rollercoaster of a goose chase has a chance to end. Balls to the walls despite what we've gone from to where we are now? |
t3_2tomex | relationships | I[25F] accidentally rejected a kiss from someone[late20sM] that I like | Last night, a coworker that I've known for about six months came by to hang out and drink a little bit. We got pretty drunk and he got a little flirty-when I was showing him the guest room and helping to get him settled, he would pull me down into the bed with him whenever I tried to leave. Eventually he just ended up laying in my bed with me, watching a movie. Like I said, I was pretty drunk and I was in that state where I was sort of half-asleep, half-awake.
So was laying there with my eyes closed when he kissed me and I reacted pretty terribly by mumbling and rolling into my pillow. In my defense, that is typically what I do when I'm sleeping and I wasn't expecting it because I had no visual cue that he was going to do that but I still feel pretty terrible. I didn't know what to say or do, so I just continued to lay there like I was sleeping until he left. We've been texting normally today and I'm not sure if he even remembers doing it. If I had been more sober/prepared, I wouldn't have acted in a way that was a rejection of it. I'm naturally a pretty shy and hesitant person when it comes to this kind of thing, but I should have verbalized that better instead of palying dumb. And the thing is, I'm still not sure if it was because he likes me or he was just drunk. | I was drunk and stupid and accidentally sent off the wrong signals when someone tried to kiss me. How should I proceed from here? |
t3_34pyqv | relationships | I (M18) fear that the girl I like (F19) might be back together with her ex | First of all, sorry for my english. It is not my first language and I am not particularly good at writing either so sorry for that too.
Okay I will try to keep it short:
I am a backpacker in doing my working holiday visa in Australia. 4 months ago I met a girl in a working hostel that I really like. First I was really shy around her and didn't talk much (like always when I was back in Germany) but she made the first step and after a while we were kind of together.
A couple of months later I saved enough money to go on a east coast trip with my buddys and she stayed at the working hostel to save money. During my trip I made plans with her to travel around Asia together and of course I was really looking forward to it.
But 30 minutes ago I discovered on facebook that she is currently living in a sharehouse with a bunch of people for work and among those people is her ex boyfriend with whom she went to Australia (they broke up after 3 months in Australia).
Additionally she liked a post on facebook which says something along the lines of: If a girl always has to make the first step she will eventually move on the the next guy. (Sorry cant translate it better)
Now I am really worried that they are back together and that she won't come to Asia with me. I have no idea how to handle this situation. Should I really be that worried? Should I bring it up to her? And if yes, how? | girl and I were kind of together and want to travel Asia together but I discovered that she might be back together with her ex. |
t3_36cb8d | relationships | Can't tell what I [22m] should do next with her [19f]. | If this is the wrong subreddit I would appreciate being pointed to the right direction.
Let's keep this short:
Met a girl. Hot. 9.5/10. Cheerleader at SEC university. Girl just got out of a relationship. She says she doesn't want to date. I said I don't want to date either (true). Watch movie with her a couple times. She sits next to me. I put my arm around her, she snuggles close. Talk instead of watch movies: talk about her ex, or about her best friend (who has a crush on me. Already friend zoned her). She lays head on my lap. I rub her head. She smiles often and laughs. Makes fun of me because my arms stick out when I walk because I work out religiously.
I want to make a move on her. I haven't kissed a girl when I'm sober unless I had already kissed that girl before. Full beta mode here.
Help? I'm not looking for sex.
Also I move to another city in 5 days so I'm short on time. | Who cares? After typing this out I'm a loser whose gonna make out with a hot cheerleader tomorrow. Maybe. My balls change size a lot. Gig em'! |
t3_ey1b6 | jobs | Entitlement, self-discipline, and why I'm not that impressed with whining about unemployment | Come to work late, spend all of your time talking or surfing the internet or bringing personal devices/toys to play on....then complaining about why you don't have a job after you're found out. Must be the bad economy and evil corporations. I'm not impressed (and I don't care if you're a redditor). It's only the evil corporations and policy sometimes - lately I've found it's remarkably difficult to find a person willing to work for a living wage (not even close to minimum) and able to use a computer without getting scared and confused. Under-30's are the worst (under-30 talking here. my generation is annoying). The same goes for manufacturing jobs. They really do still exist - if people come to work and do the work instead of staring at the wall. OK, if it's a shitty job, fine... but what if on day 1 you're told that there's opportunity to become a key person and be hired on full time to a better shift? Really? | Some people deserve sympathy for being unemployed; others just need to extract head from rear and quit causing headaches for those supervisors looking for good people. |
t3_l6sr2 | Parenting | Need advice: Toddler falling asleep standing up after sleep training. | I need some help, after months and months of trying every sleep training method we have come across other then crying it out, we finally broke down and let my 16 month old cry tonight. It was not the horrible experience I was expecting. It took twenty minutes and she stopped crying, so we waited 5 more minutes then went to check on her and she was asleep standing up leaning on the side rail of her crib. Every time I would go in and lay her down she would wake up, I would leave the room and she would cry for 30 seconds to a minute and then stop. When we check again she is asleep standing up. After more then an hour of her sleeping on her feet I finally laid her down and she let out a couple cries but didn't stand up and has been asleep since. I am worried she is going to fall and hurt herself though! Does anyone have any advice or experience on what I should do? | My 16 month old is falling asleep standing up in her crib I'm worried she is going to fall and hurt herself. |
t3_38fi6e | relationships | Me [17 M] and a girl [18 F] having issues stemming from mental health, unsure what to do | Also posted to /r/AmItheAsshole
So basically I'm in a situation that is... tricky. Me and this girl both admitted to liking each other after a whole buncha flirting over the course of several months. However, after this I kept asking her if she would go on dates / hang out / etc. and she always said "I don't know" or "not in the mood". Literally the only time I would see her was in school.
About a month later (during which I tried every weekend), I just straight asked her what we were, to which she replied "nothing". I said that I didn't understand - why would she refuse going out if she admitted to liking me? She responded that she has anxiety & depression and doesn't think she can. I have had depression, so I was determined to help her out of it. Endless talks and chats on facebook / text later, I was still wondering about our relationship status. I tried to talk to her about it multiple times but she always refused, so I accepted that it just wasn't meant to be, that I would just help her with her issues and be her friend. I got over it.
After about two weeks of this, though, I was invited to go out with some people from my track team, where I got drunk and made out with a different girl. I basically stumbled to the stadium at 1 in the morning and started kissing on the turf. She also went there later (it was the college reunions in my town, everyone was out that night). She saw and got extremely mad at me, says I betrayed her etc...
I don't get it. She rejected me (even though it was due to mental health problems), and I stayed as her friend to help her. We have never went out, hooked up, kissed, hugged, or even held hands. Did I betray her? How do I proceed? I still want to help her :( | Girl likes me, I like her, we don't date for reasons, I hook up with other girl, she gets mad |
t3_i5gpg | AskReddit | Just a quick question about a joint banking account... | (note: I might be using the term "joint account" incorrectly here. I apologize if I am)
I opened up a Chase checking/savings account before I was 18 under my Mom's account. We do not transfer money to and from the same checking or savings account, but they are somehow linked. Now that I am over 18, I am curious about the advantages and disadvantages of having my accounts linked to hers. I ask because she's one of those people who is honest and respectful with everything except money. I'm worried I may be being taken advantage of since learning she had knowledge of my account and transactions that I thought would be confidential (I don't receive a paper statement or anything that she could read). Again, any information about these linked accounts would be greatly appreciated! Thanks reddit. | I have a linked chase bank account under my mom's, who may be taking advantage of me. What are the advantages/disadvantages of such an account? |
t3_465wdw | relationships | My [20F] sister [18f] wants to buy my ID off me so she can go out with her friends. | Right of the bat, I told her no.
She's a little upset with me now. She keeps telling me that people getting caught for identity theft doesn't happen that often and all this stuff. IMHO, I was no angel when I was underage. I snuck out and went to house parties and stuff. I never had a fake ID or borrowed someone's ID. No real reason why I just didn't. Even when all my friends turned legal in university I still didn't get one. Mostly because of sheer laziness to go out and find one.
My sister and I have a really good relationship. After I left for university that bond got stronger. In her senior year of High School she started to ask me to borrow my ID. I told her no, because I kind of need my ID for you know.. life things. She moved to the other side of the country and is in her first year of uni. She asked to buy my ID of me for her to keep so she can go out with her friends and wants me to get a new one. I told her no and she asked why. So I told her that its not worth the risk to me of either one of us getting charged with identity theft (although I'm not 100% sure how identity theft charges work, I just know that its not good if you have someone else's ID).
She went on about how that never happens and I'll be fine. I told her no, I'm not doing that. And she said "whatever. I'll find some other way then". I just said "okay" and we haven't talked since (this was yesterday).
I'm just wondering if I'm being to prude-ish about this? Is it really that big of a deal? I don't want her to feel like she's missing out on stuff. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you! | Sister asked to buy my ID off me so she can go out drinking, I said no. She is now upset with me. |
t3_2m2kb8 | relationships | I[22M] had a date with[22F] and we ended up in the bedroom, how do I behave on a second date? | Hi!
So I had a date with this really really hot girl last week and everything went smooth as we ended up going to my place to "watch a movie". We have been texting each other a bit and I invited her out to help me pick out a nice shirt for an event im going to.
I have had some ONS before but never really cared about dating them, just having some more sex and then we never hear from each other again. But with this chick I could actually see us being together, not only because shes smoking hot but we like the same kind of stuff and we both(I think) had a great time.
Now as I've never been in this position before Im not quite sure how I should act when we meet again. On our first date I was really flirty and we had fun just talking about random stuff. Should I just continue on this track? Or should I try to get to know her better? | Met a nice girl last week and we had sex. Im gonna see her again this weekend and Im not sure how I should act. Should I just behave exactly like the first time we met? |
t3_3noboc | relationships | Me [20M] with my Fiancee [28F] of 3 months, caught her reading conversations with ex-fiancee | My fiancee of three months and I had a tiny argument last night over something trivial. Afterwards she was trying to tell me about this article she read that day, but couldn't find. We pull up the laptop and she opens the history of the browser and finds the article.
That day I had left mid-day for a few meetings and came back a few hours later. The history showed that while I was working, she'd been chatting with her ex-fiancee on Facebook. (Said Facebook chat and the guys name in history)
I let it go for a second but couldn't focus on the article at all and asked why she was talking with her ex-fiancee. She was quiet for about 10 seconds and then said that she wasn't talking with him, just reading messages. Then she quickly switched the subject to another friends message about something else..
Feel amazingly uncomfortable with this as the only reason I've ever read messages from my exes have been:
1) Wanting it back
2) Being sad/depressed/lonely
3) Being unhappy with my current relationship
As if this wasn't bad enough for me. She's always had an habit of deleting everything - no big deal. She gets a call, she deletes it right away, same with texts and Facebook messages. I once asked her why she did this and she said she only keeps important messages (such as mine).
So to top it off, she considers messages from her ex-fiance important and reads them when I go away. She always spends a ton of time on her phone anyway and now every time she does, it connects me to this.
Am I overthinking this? | Fiancee of three months "reads" messages from her ex-fiance while I'm away. Am I overthinking it and worrying/getting upset about nothing? |
t3_z126h | AskReddit | I'm an average lazy 20' y old.What's the best way to start working at home in the graphic domain? | My usual day starts at 13:00, wake up , play either CS:GO/HON/Darksiders 2 or TF2, I wait until the night comes and then cruise around town and meet up with my friends.
The thing is I am tired to live off my parents money, not that they wouldn't provide, it's just to make something of myself.
I know alot of things to do but not good at anything. I learned photoshop all by myself and worked once or twice but have never been payed enough for my troubles.I can learn pretty much any program if I like it and I dedicate myself to it.
It may seem like I got a 3'rd world problem, but I've reading reddit for a while and this seems like the right place to ask this.What can I do with all this free time, work online, and make some of my own money.
Besides, I'm an ent for a year now... don't feel bad cuz of it and it somehow changed my perspective but I can't get satisfaction from nothing and it seems like working is the next adult thing to do, and it feels the best thing to do next.
I tried clickworker, seems to take alot of time, i'm not that experienced for big projects found on freelancers, where could I start.
Probably the best job would be a game tester :)) | I'm lazy as fuck, know alot of stuff, don't have will power, but want to make my own money. |
t3_3jga5y | relationships | Me [27M] with my Long-Distance GF [27F] of 1 year -- seemingly no reason to break up, but I want to | I've been going out with this great girl for a little more than a year now. I've broken up with her twice for different reasons, but I kept coming back and re-starting because I felt lonely and missed having her in my life.
Well, for the past month I've been thinking about breaking up with her **for good.** I feel that my reasons are selfish and immature, and they don't seem strong enough to warrant a permanent break-up. Some of them include...
- The way she talks kind of annoys me sometimes
- All of our recent conversations have been her complaining about her new job and commute and she keeps acting uncertain about wanting to continue
- I don't enjoy the long distance part of this relationship; it will be like this until February at the very least; we live only a few hours away
- I don't like when she gets into these little girl moods when she's stressed or something bad is happening
- I'm always nitpicking or judging physical features of hers
- I'm not **in love** with her but I do care about her happiness and well-being
We've talked about this, and to her credit she says I should keep going and it's okay for me to feel these things. She says that I've demonstrated that I'm prone to giving up and she wants me to keep going and not give up on her. She wants to be with me regardless and she said I should consider counseling to find out why I do / feel this because I'd act this way with anyone else.
Is it right to break up with someone if I feel uncomfortable or unhappy most of the time for the better part of a month? I feel like I'm simply not emotionally ready or mature enough for a relationship, should I break it off because she deserves to be with someone better? Should I dig for deeper reasons to break up and just learn to suck it up and adjust? | For those of you that felt something was wrong with a former relationship and you wanted to end it, what did you do to arrive at the real reason why you wanted to break up? |
t3_37iwum | relationships | Me(20M) wondering whether I'm spazzing out over fear of commitment or have genuinely lost attraction for (19F) | I've been dating this girl a bit over a month. Things have gone great, 3 dates in the first two weeks. Good sexual chemistry from the start, but recently I've felt my attraction waning. Once I realised it was coming close to the time to commit or move on, I started spazzing out and doubting my attraction to her.
In the past three weeks we have only seen each other sexually, meeting up at her house to fuck and then chill for a bit after(exams meant neither of us had time for proper dates). From the way she is speaking, I think she may want a relationship. I'm not sure that's what I want.
Ever since I started freaking out (and I admit I'm quite irrational at times), I simply haven't been physically attracted to her. When we hang out, I feel nervous and guilty rather than happy and excited. A few days ago we were hanging on her bed and I actively avoided escalating sexually because I felt like such a cock, for not sharing my doubts.
Part of me thinks I got confused. I was a virgin before her, and things got sexual from the first date (culminated in drunken semi-public sex). That says to me that perhaps the sudden intro to sexuality made me feel more towards her than I really would have otherwise. We have always had fun on our dates, but admittedly, our dates have genuinely only been very good when we were drunk or had sexual tension.
Now I'm not excited to see her like I used to be. I have also never been in a serious relationship, so this is very new territory for me. I mainly don't want to hurt her. She is a great girl, we have very similar senses of humour, she is very fun. But I just don't feel that chemistry anymore. We have a date on Friday. | Confused on how I feel about a great girl. Is it a genuine loss of attraction or just anxiety and guilt over worrying about potentially hurting her? |
t3_q61fg | AskReddit | When i was 9, I once stuck a cheeseburger down my pants to trick my mother. What was your biggest "What was I thinking?!" moment as a child? | When I was around 9, I vividly remember sitting in Red Robin with my family. There was a Scheel's that had just opened up down the road and I wanted more than anything to ride the ferris wheel that was in the lobby of it. My mother told me I could so long as I ate my food. For some ungoshly reason, I really didn't want to eat...so I stuck the cheeseburger down my pants.
I don't recall how I did this so sneakily that no one noticed, but I accomplished it. We then went to Scheel's and I rode the ferris wheel...still with a cheeseburger in my pants. I knew I had to dispose of it after this so I went to the bathroom. My 9 year old logic told me it was a good idea to throw the cheeseburger and my underwear into the "period box" next to the toilet.
As we left Scheel's, which was in a strip mall, highly public place, my mother somehow found out about my mishap, and proceeded to grab my butt and say, "Katie Ann. Where on earth did your panties go?" So many stares. And that's that. I was one weird child. | Stuck a cheeseburger down my pants, disposed of it in the period box in the bathroom, mother grabs me like a pedophile |
t3_48szr6 | relationships | [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of a year, how should I know when to break up? | I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for a little over a year now and while things were initially fine, some issues have come up that have made me have doubts about continuing the relationship. I'll talk about that in a separate thread because I just want an assessment of my raw feelings in this thread.
I've never had to conduct a break up before so I don't know what it's supposed to feel like. I've only been in two relationships; the one I'm in now, and a previous one where I was dumped seemingly out of nowhere. All I know is that right now there are things I'm dissatisfied with in the relationship and she's unwilling to compromise with me and I feel like if things don't change then I'll be happier in the long-term to break up.
I've even tried to rationalize it by making a pros and cons list and really dumb logical shit that I don't think you can really apply to the likes of a relationship. All I know is there are things I want to resolve that aren't getting resolved and if they can't then I don't think I can be happy in the relationship any more. But whenever I think about actually acting on it, it tears me up inside. I love this girl and I don't actually want to break up with her but I'm not happy with the state of affairs. I feel like that's probably common but I just wish there was a surefire way to know "hey it's absolutely correct to break up in this situation and you shouldn't feel regret." | I'm confused about my feelings towards breaking up with my girlfriend and I'm not sure if my logical assessment saying I should is right or my emotional response saying I shouldn't is right. |
t3_374465 | tifu | TIFU: Told my father his dad died | So this had happened 5 minutes ago. My aunt had called and left a sad message containing information that bob died.
My grandfathers name was Bob.
My dad was out at the store. I had originially overheard the message on the machine and I didn't pay too much attention. Going back over it it clearly had said Bob passed away in his sleep last night. Some type of heart complication. So here I am thinking of all the Bobs I knew, only one that came to mind was my grandfather. I realize that my dad doesn't have a cell phone, he doesn't know the news.
I'm going to be the one who tells him his dad passed.
As I sit and think about how I'm going to break the news to him, I'm thinking of my poor grandma, the rest of my family, how I saw my grandpa last weekend at my aunts house and my dad was working and couldn't go, just literally everything.
He pulls into the driveway, I help him out with groceries. When he comes in and sits down, I tell him you have to call your sister. It's urgent.
"Why? What happened?" Just call your sister dad. "Joe wtf is wrong? What happened?" Can you please just call your sister. "I will just tell me what happened!" I just feel like shit and I relay the message.
Bob died.
Instantly his face goes white, tears start up in his eyes. He curses for awhile and sits down and starts shaking. I play the message on the machine because he doesn't believe me. It doesn't help any whatsoever.
After attempting to console him. I dial the phone number for my aunt and give him the phone.
After a quick 5 minute conversation, turns out it was her neighbor bob who died. She never tried to clarify which bob had passed away.
**** me right? | Aunt called, said bob died, bob is grandfather, dad was not home. Told dad his father, bob, died and turned out it was my aunts neighbor. |
t3_213bkf | Advice | How to deal with a coworker bumming rides to/from work? | He lives in the same complex as me. He has been bumming rides from our other coworker for over a year and he pissed her off by not telling her he didn't need a ride. She was waiting outside our place for him two nights in a row when he called in sick and didn't tell her. My boyfriend and I both work with him at the same time every night but there are nights (like tonight) that my boyfriend doesn't work but I do. I don't like him. He's rude and always complaining. The first time we gave him a ride over a year ago he opened a can of beer in my car. My boyfriend told him that made me feel uncomfortable and he hasn't asked for a ride since then, until yesterday. The only real inconvenience is that we work at a grocery store and he shops after work. Yesterday we waited 10 minutes for him. My car broke down last week and I bought a new one. I think a man twice my age should be able to do the same in a year... I don't know what to do. I feel like a bad person and I don't know how I would say no. | He hasn't had a car for a year and pissed off the other person who gave him rides. He lives by me but I don't like him. |
t3_2d58hl | relationships | I'm (24/m) having a date tomorrow with a girl (22/v). Do you guys have any tips to make it go smoothly? | I'm having a date tomorrow with a girl I know for a while, but the last time I saw her was a long time ago and until now it was always at social gatherings. It's been a long time for me too since I've actually 'dated' and this will actually be the first time I'm having a one-on-one date with her.
We'll meet up in the city, which is quite nice, but the problem is that on mondays a lot of things are closed (The museum etc..). I like chatting in a café but I also realise that we can't do that for a whole day. I also like walking around and enjoying the atmosphere but I kind of feel like I should come up with actually something we could do.
I'm not asking this because I'm socially awkward, I just like her a lot, so I want our first date to be something out of the ordinary. | First date with a girl I really like, I should come up with something original we could do in the city, because a lot of things are closed. Any tips? |
t3_muf57 | AskReddit | Do guys really like it if a girl asks them out, or would they rather the girl wait for them to muster the courage and take control of the situation? | Basically, I have been crushing on a guy for about 2 months and at first I thought he was interested as well. I let his best friend know of my feelings since at the time I wasn't really seeing the guy often and I had decided that it was as good a time as any to ask him out. As it turns out he had also been talking to his best friend saying that he wasn't sure about the whole thing since he is a good friend of mine and feels it may get too messy (we play sports together and have a couple of mutual friends who we see a lot).
All this to say, he has not exactly been acting in a way of "I will reject you if you ask me out". I have asked out lots of guys before but never have they pre-rejected the idea of dating me to my knowledge. Usually I just end up waiting too long to ask and just get too close to them before. Completely understandable, any feelings they could have had probably passed, shit happens.
In this scenario, he talks to me almost everyday sometimes until 2 am. He uses me as a homework distraction every so often, meaning we just talk and talk and talk about anything from music, to movies to what we are avoiding doing, or school, ANYTHING.
When I see him we hug out salutations and hug again when one of us has to leave, no matter what. He offers to give me rides all over the place, even offers to pick me up from places completely out of the way from where he is.
This week I offered to have him over to watch some movies and shenanigans, because why not. He didn't say no outright which means he is either trying to be my friend or I don't know. I am likely over reading this but anyhow.
How many guys would actually want a girl to admit to them they like them and would like to go out? Currently I have been rejected far more times than I'm comfortable with and it's starting to get really frustrating.
Merci! | I'm a baby who doesn't know what a guy wants and so I asked the internet to help because if I get rejected one more time I may just claim asexuality and never date again. |
t3_39hqzx | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 2 years, getting in fights due to sex drive difference | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
Hello people of reddit.
I am am 19 year old guy and my girlfriend is 18 years old, and our difference in sex drives caused alot of problems.
Actually our biggest problem is this following point:
We can only have sex when she comes to my house, and often she keeps asking me to come to her house, then i explain to her that at her house there is a big lack of privacy and that we couldn't be sexual in any way at her place due to family members.
I don't want to have sex all the time of course but i really do want to have it wayyy more than her and i think that not being able to have sex when we feel like it is really quite annoying, and when i tell her about the lack of privacy at her place she just tells me that i shouldn't want sex all the time (which isn't true).
I DO COME OVER TO HER PLACE WHEN SHE ASKS it but i keep telling her sometimes that the lack of privacy annoys me and that not being able to have sex is a big problem for me
Also she just told me that she could be fine if we were never having sex again because ''she doesn't need it'' and this has really broken me since she said that.
I love her very much and would never ever break up with her and i don't think that that is an option but i would just like to know how you guys see this.
Thanks in advance | Girlfriend told me she ''doesn't need'' sex and we cannot be intimitate at her place and she keeps inviting me over and gets mad at me for telling her that i have problems with that |
t3_4m3ll5 | tifu | TIFU by smashing a pregnant spider on my ceiling and causing an early delivery. | I'm glad I don't have arachnophobia.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been getting a lot of spiders in my house. Like, *a lot.* I'll see 2-3 a day, and naturally, grab a tissue and knock 'em dead.
Well, today, as I was getting up to go to the bathroom, I noticed a spider on the ceiling. In no hurry, on the way out of the bathroom I grabbed some toilet paper to kill it with.
I'm pretty tall, so I'm able to reach the ceiling by barely jumping. So I jumped up and smashed it. This is where the fuck-up begins.
As I hit it, I sort of missed my target, and only injured the spider. But that didn't stop me from giving her an early delivery. Tons of baby spiders, only a millimeter or two in diameter, come raining down from the ceiling.
Several fall into my hair, several onto my shoulders, and the vast majority of them fell onto the floor and scuttled off.
Well, I'm sort of freaking out at this point. Even though I'm not afraid of bugs, they're still kind of gross, and I didn't want to smash them with my bare feet. My number one priority was to make those babies into orphans by getting rid of the half-alive mama spider.
After taking care of that, I sighed in defeat as all of the spiders crawled to various places. Unfortunately, I had used the last of the toilet paper roll, and there wasn't anything left to grab before they crawled off. Oh well. | I killed a pregnant spider on my ceiling, causing the babies to rain down from above all over me and the floor, and now my spider problem will be prolonged for many weeks to come. |
t3_3jti1i | relationships | Me [23 M] with a girl [21 F] who has a lot of potential for a few weeks. She is black, I am white, she has experienced racism in the past and seems to have some hang-ups about white people. | So I've seen this girl over the last few weeks, we clicked right away and have similarly dry personalities, we both have very high libidos and have had some pretty sweet marathons. Girl is tall with a model like figure and face, total babe. Recently after drinking together we were talking and she talked about having grown up in a well to do, predominantly white neighborhood with a white mother and that she and her sisters were pretty much the only black people around and how that was hard and how friends would affectionately tell her things like "I don't even think of you as being black, you're like a white girl to me" and how there were much worse things and how she had always felt like many white people felt like there was something wrong with being black. I've told her that's not how I feel and I think through just being honest I've done a good job making her feel comfortable about this. IDK if it's relevant but I'm kind of the stereotypical 1%-er white man in appearance, background, and some personality aspects, she was concerned that she was some kind of novelty or whatever to me.
Anyone been in this position? I honestly wouldn't really say much about the melanin disparity but when brought into a conversation like this I kind of feel lost and want to hear her out. | Girl is black in america and has dealt with prejudice that is unfamiliar to me. Kinda confused when talking about this. |
t3_4djitw | relationship_advice | I [23/f] am contemplating going back to my [25/m] ex bf | My ex and I were together for almost a year. During this time, I moved into his mother's house (mom had to move away for a job, ex lived there to keep up things). I ended the relationship almost a year ago because he wasn't taking responsibility for himself (not picking up after himself, never cleaned) or getting anywhere in life (same job for the past 4 years, no aspirations to move further up); I tried to save the relationship but nothing worked. Eventually I broke up with him because I didn't think he'd ever improve.
Now he's gotten his life together; he's moved up to a salary position, takes care of himself, and wants to try things again. There has been a year between us breaking up and now. A month or so ago, I started casually seeing someone new with lots of potential (has goals, strives to obtain them). Casually as in we hangout once every week or 2 weeks. By no means are we "dating", but I'm pretty sure he's developed feelings for me. I'm not sure if I should try things again with my ex or if I should just continue to peruse this new person. Has anyone came back to a relationship after so much time had passed and it worked out in the end? | Ex got his shit together & wants to try again, but someone new has come into my life during the year we were apart. |
t3_2vq711 | offmychest | Grinded on my friends crush. | I'm a high school student. I went to my first dance tonight and kind of wanted to get rid of my grinding virginity. My friends were pumped and wanted to help me. I know, I know it sound really fucking stupid but I only get one night to act like an idiot.
Anyways, we're at the dance and my friend really wants to get her crush to see her and dance with her. I knew the guy, he was cute and I liked him too but she knew him longer and I never said I liked him. So here I am, following my friend around to find her crush but I decided to just dance. They followed shortly after. We were dancing, having a good time. Suddenly a random guy came up and started to grind on my friend (with the crush) and she went along with it. She has already done it twice before that so it was pretty normal but then I felt a pair of hands snake around my hips.
My group of friends weren't paying attention, I didn't know who it was but I didn't care. We started dancing and things kept escalating. He ran his hands across my chest, grabbed my butt, slid his hand down my pants and groping me everywhere. We were in a tight group so nobody can see this plus it's pretty dark. We danced for a LONG time. Time just went so fast, people were dancing, my friend was grinding with another different guy and this guy was still doing his thang.
After a while the music died down, we stopped for a while and we were going to say our goodbyes I guess. (Also it was time for me to leave anyways). I turned around and behold...it's her crush...fuck. I just stood there shocked while he said stuff and then left.
So in the end, my friend actually saw me grinding with this guy but didn't say anything. I left shortly after, avoiding her because I just really couldn't deal with the guilt. | she likes the cute guy, I like the cute guy. We grinded and now I don't know what to say to her. Typical high school drama. |
t3_36pqev | relationships | I [23/F] have a friend [23/F] of three years, who seems to be ignoring her on Facebook. Should I let her know how much it's bothering me? | A good friend of mine from college is going through a tough time... Financial stress, dealing with a new job, etc. We live in different cities so I don't see her too often, but we've been texting or Facebook messaging at least weekly for a long time.
The problem is that when she's in a relationship that's going well, she tends to put all her energy into that. To me, someone is your friend all the time or not at all. For the past few months she's been taking longer and longer to write back to me on Facebook -- and I can SEE that she's still active on the app on her phone and posting things on her wall, just not responding to me. I wished her a happy birthday and it took her three days to acknowledge it, and even then all she wrote was thanks.
I feel really hurt whenever I think about it, but I've decided I just want to put it past me and not message her anymore. The thing is, she still messages me every few weeks or so -- and every time she does, it brings back all the hurt and insecurity for me. I'll still talk to her when she reaches out (usually with a problem she's having), but after we exchange a few messages, I'll get radio silence, leaving me feeling freshly rejected AND worried about whatever problem she's having.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to just message her saying how I feel. I know she'd think it's petty of me and that she'd be mad -- we've fought about this before during her last relationship when she kept abruptly canceling plans to hang out so she could spend time with her boyfriend, and she got crazy mad at me when I confronted her about it.
Honestly, I feel like I'm ok with drifting apart from her, but I can't put it behind me when she keeps messaging me out of the blue. I want her to message me consistently or not at all, or else I want to learn how to be less upset when she does message and (inevitably) ignore me. | how do I get over a friend who only talks to me when it's convenient to her? Is it petty to tell someone that you feel ignored when they take days to respond to your instant messages? |
t3_4pfsml | relationships | How do I confess feelings to him, honesty? | Okay, This may make everyone facepalm reading this but. . . seriously, I don't know where else to go for help or my other friends.
First off, I'll tell you about me. I'm a 16 year old male, that is as you can guess GAY, if you want to say. My best friend who is the same age as me, knows my sexuality and he is normal around me. Pretty soon I started developing feelings for him, not sexual but, as a lover.
See? Already complicated. And he's STRAIGHT, I'm pretty sure. He's currently not in a relationship or seeking one after a month when his girlfriend broke up with him. I was there to cheer him up and he's pretty much fine, but still is not seeking a relationship.
I can respect that, but back to the point. I'm crazy about him. If I don't confess, I'll be feeling awkward all the time and I may come off a mess if I can't say what's on my mind. My sanity will deplete.
If I DO, then the chances are he'll be weirded out by me and start avoiding me. And then stop being my friend, I'm pretty sure.
But. In the dorm he changes in front of me, he even walks around with a towel on and publically walks with me. That's one of the reasons why I feel this way about him. He's kind, and he is very compassionate which sounds cliche I know but it's very true. And he doesn't judge me based on the sterotypical homosexuals that people are afraid of. I get mixed up emotionally inside whenever he sits next to me.
What do I. . . even do? | Inlove with my best friend who I think is straight, and I might crack if I don't confess my feelings. |
t3_4qk18f | relationships | Am I Moving On Too Fast | Hello /r/relationships. I need some advice. I [M24] recently broke up with my ex about 5 months ago. It was a long term relationship, we spent over 4 years together.
We wound up breaking up for complicated reasons. Things weren't moving forward and it seemed like we were doing more damage then good to one another. It didn't end in bad terms, we were both devastated that it came to a break up, but we decided to not have any contact anyways.
Well, here I am 5 months later and i recently started talking to someone new. I've been feeling some insecurity about whether I should be in another relationship but I'm not sure if it's tied to guilt over my break up or if I'm just moving too fast. I don't want to hurt this new person if I'm not ready for this but it's hard to tell at this point given that I've never been in this position (ex was my only gf).
Any advice on how to know if I'm ready for this? I don't want my old relationship to spill into a potential new one. Any words of advice are appreciated. | 1st time getting over a relationship. Not sure if ready or moving to fast and don't want to hurt new girl. |
t3_1nhnny | relationship_advice | How do express that I'm not interested in being friends with a fellow student? [20M] | How do I express to someone I'm not interested in their jokes/their life outside of class? Today someone followed me, along side of me, and started doing some "Nerd talk" IE: "epic fail" or "Your mom something something" and this just isn't me or my humor... I have given this person many social ques but he does not seem to understand them, I fear that I must find something or someone to substitute my friendly available "side" so that I'm occupied after I get out of class thereby avoiding the situation, but I'd much rather be rightfully equip to handle the situation. | How do I share my disinterest in someone who's interested in me, beyond lack of interest social ques? (As friends) |
t3_2kvgsd | relationships | Me [26 M] with my boyfriend [28 M] of 6 months, I'm worried my recent success has changed his views about us | When we first met we were both at around about the same point in our lives - Unemployed, unhealthy and both depressed. I know it seems like an odd place to start from, but that's how it happenened. We hit it off great and I fell hard, he's an amazing guy even if he won't admit it. The problem is over the next few months things got better for me - I got help, was (very) lucky in landing a great job and lost 30lbs.
It's been a whirlwind of good things happening and he's a large part of the good things. Problem is things havn't really changed as much for him. Only a few temp jobs, still on medication and no luck with the weight loss (which is something we decided to try and do together).
I don't care about these things, he's still the guy I love. But his attitude towards me has slowly been changing. He seems to think that now I'm better than him, or out of his league. He even mentioned (half jokingly) last night how he wouldn't be supprised if I left him for someone better.
I don't know how I can convince him this won't happen, I've had a run of good luck but this hasn't changed how I feel about him. I don't understand how to counter these feelings of, I guess, resentment (?). Any advice would be appreciated, if not just feels good to write it all down. | I fell in love with a guy then got lucky. Can't seem to convince him nothing between us has changed. |
t3_1it15v | relationships | I[21F] caught my boyfriend[23M] of six months, talking to girls on Craiglist with fake email. | Obviously, a throw away. Last night I went to the history of my computer to look for something that I had been on earlier in the day, (was not looking for anything as it is MY computer.)
I was scrolling through the history and find that there is an email with a woman's name so I click it and the entire email is messages back and forth of w4w (women looking for women) ads on Craiglist. All of the emails sent and received were at times that I wasn't home.
I am pretty positive that he made the email to message girls and get pictures, even though he's trying to tell me it's his "lesbian friend's" email that he gets on because porn does nothing for him apparently. But we have a lot of mutual friends and I have never heard of someone with this name.
I am just unsure of what to do at this point, we've been together for 6 months and I don't want to break up with him, but this is very creepy to me. Pretty much just looking for some advice. | Found an email account open on my computer, boyfriend is posting w4w ads on Craigslist to get pictures and talk to girls. |
t3_ivggs | jobs | What to do about a criminal record? | Between the ages of 18 and 24 I was arrested five times for general and persistant stupidity. The charges were more specific than that - all misdemeanors including
* 2 DWIs (I know, I know, I was a moron)
* 1 Underage drinking
* 1 possession of marijuana,
* 1 possession of paraphernalia
* 1 driving under suspension
* - and here's the kicker -
* I was arrested just after my 18th birthday (while still in high school) for disorderly conduct, public indecency, and criminal damaging. (We broke into a public swimming area and skinny-dipped).
Let's just say I had problems making good decisions as a young adult. I'm now nearly 33 years old, married, graduated from college, and I've not been in trouble with the law for almost a decade.
All of these charges are non-violent, non-theft-related misdemeanors; however, as criminal background checks have become so easy and cheap to do in the last 10 years, I am finding it impossible to get any job that requires a background check. I guess it's just easier to move on to the next resume/application in this job market.
Any suggestions on how I might get a prospective employer to give me a chance, despite my checkered youth? | I thought the series finale of Battlestar Galactica to be rather disappointing, although it was an amazing show over-all. |
t3_vt9fn | relationship_advice | Whatsapp misunderstanding? | Guys I'm so lost and I truely need your help...
Here's the deal.
I "think" my boyfriend ( 2 years together, he's 23 and I'm 21) is lying to me.
we were talking on Whatsapp messenger and he said he had to leave with his dad and said goodbye. Then it appeared to me that he blocked me.
I asked my friends they said he was online and stuff.
I called and asked him what's the deal. all he kept saying that he isn't lying to me and that it might have happened by mistake, and that he isn't even connected to the internet.
Does that even happen? I'm so lost I don't know if i should believe him, though I have all that "evidence" in front of me showing me that he's lying. But he kept saying that he wouldn't do such a thing on purpose and that he loved me and he can't explain what happened... | Boyfriend says he didn't block me on purpose or was connected to the internet, while he looked online on other phones. (whatsapp messenger). |
t3_dfek7 | self | Radio Reddit is thinking about putting up a second stream that is for Talk Radio as opposed to just music. Is anyone interested, or have any thoughts/suggestions? | We've seen a huge growth and success in the past few months for [Radio Reddit] which is 100 percent created, run, and comprised of music by us, the average Reddit user.
The one question that comes up often is "Oh, this isn't a Talk Radio version of Reddit?". Well we would like to make that an option. We already have the back end to very easily add a second stream for Talk Radio Reddit but we need solid broadcasters and content. We are thinking the content should be something that discusses Reddit posts, comments, users, current events, etc. however everything is up for discussion.
If you are interested in doing a 20 minute to an hour show one or twice a week (or more if you'd like) please leave a 5-10 minute recording in a comment to this post so we can hear what you sound like.
If you need somewhere to upload the little "demo" I would suggest [FileVo] which is a great free file service made by fellow Reddit user [lleti]( | Radio Reddit needs users to broadcast for the second stream which will be used for Talk Radio to go along with the first stream used for Redditor submitted music. |
t3_2c6kt2 | tifu | TIFU by sleeping with a cockroach for an unknown amount of time | I was inspired to share this after seeing another TIFU thread about someone who had serious skin problems from not changing his sheets for years. Well, I wasn't that gross to go years without changing, but I would occasionally go a couple of months without changing them. Well, this wouldn't be as gross if it weren't for the fact that my apartment had a cockroach infestation. So, I had a pair of shorts that I kept in my bed, and only put on when it was cold. So I hadn't really worn them for a few weeks, but left them in my bed. I decided it was time to wash them anyhow, so as I picked them up, a giant, dead, cockroach fell out of them. I had been sleeping on top of those shorts with the dead roach in it for who knows how long. Maybe it wasn't dead when it went in the shorts, and I accidentally rolled over in my sleep and crushed it. | Didn't change sheets often enough or make my bed, found out I had been sleeping on top of a cockroach for probably a couple weeks. |
t3_29wt0n | relationships | My SO (16 F) is not as enamoured with romantic gestures as I (17 F) am. | My SO and I have been together for a few months and were friends for over a year before we started dating. I'm incredibly comfortable with her and we spend probably too much time with each other.
She isn't out and I am, so that means keeping our relationship under wraps basically. The only person who knows is our mutual best friend. Therefore, PDA isn't really an option for us.
My SO has told me that she doesn't truly understand romantic affection (like holding hands, kissing without sexual connotation, etc.). She doesn't have a problem with it, but it feels unnatural to her. She's much more sexually driven and considers sex to be the main type of affection. I, however, really love romantic things and have been trying to implement them into our relationship. She is always slightly awkward about them though and it seems forced on her part. How can I open her up to these things and make sure they don't seem "childish" or unimportant? | My girlfriend says romantic affection feels forced on her part and only considers sexual activities affection. How do I make holding hands, cuddling, etc. more natural and comfortable for her? |
t3_17fccu | offmychest | I thought you would be better than this. | I guess I should have known from the start that this wouldn't be anything I wanted, when you told me you had just ended things with your fwb. But we both said we were looking for something more serious. So I gave this a chance. I opened up to you about so much. It was all so easy with you, talking to you and spending hour together. It made me feel good about myself knowing I had someone to care about me.
But that was all a lie. You would make little comments about "new week means a new girl." Or would ignore my question asking if there were other people involved. I saw the signs but didn't want to put the pieces together.
Thanks for being honest and finally telling the truth. You're still an asshole, though. You knew what you were doing, yet you still dragged me along. You let me tell you so many personal things. You wanted to meet my friends and coworkers. Why? So you could turn around and drop me like a hat.
I don't think you ever really cared. You really hurt me. During a time I just needed someone to care about me. I was just someone to occupy your time while you trying to get with some other girl.
Thanks, asshole. I really enjoy waking up early and thinking about this shit. | started relationship with asshole. assumed it was leading to something serious. he has feelings for someone else. i'm the one that feels bad. |
t3_17q1s1 | dating_advice | I (16) like this girl (17), but I think she is slowly floating away. Could it be acne? | So I have gone on two dates with this girl and we scheduled one for tomorrow, but something feels very off lately. We talk at school and text at times, but this was different. She was so enthusiastic the first few dates and now it just seems like everything was for nothing. The last date was a couple weeks ago (3 weeks to be exact) but due to my sports tournament, her having family over (this is what sparked my interest) and just general "i have to ask if i can" comments have been coming up lately. I don't know what to think because I feel like I am loosing grip on the situation as well as having little to no relationship/dating experience before.
I know I am young and the typical "you will find someone eventually" don't really help me. I have been trying for the past couple of years and nothing seems to work. This is also mainly (in my mind) because I have decently bad acne. I know I shouldn't be worried about it, but it has taken a big toll on my self esteem.
I would like to talk to someone about it as well if there is anyone willing? | First real chance in years to get a girl I like, but it doesn't seem like she is floating in the same direction. I think it might be due to my acne. |
t3_35e8qp | relationships | How much time do I [19M] have to wait until I can try to get back with my ex[18F]? | Both of us loved each other but I fucked up many times and I started to destroy the relationships. After 4 months of relationship she said she wasn't happy and that she had to decide if she could keep on with the relationship.
Then I started to think and I realized about ALL the things that I fucked up because that girl was my first love and I lacked experience. It was then that I started to change. However, in that week when she was thinking about keeping on with the relationship even though I showed her that I changed I messaged her a lot and I replied .
Even worse: when that week came to an end and she told me that she didn't think I was "the chosen one" even though she loved me and she wanted to break up with me and told her like twenty times that we should keep on. She said no every time so I realized I hadn't a choice.
Now today it's going to be two weeks without any contact. I blocked her on FB but I still have her Whatsapp's number. I really want to be with her but I don't know how much time do I have to wait to start to talk again with her. At the end of the relationships she told me that she was talking with another guy that she only felt attraction.
I don't know how much time do I have to wait to start to talk with her again, I'm afraid she starts to love another man because I'm pretty sure that we can be happy together but she's too afraid of me hurting her again (I said things very ugly to her: like she was kinda fat, and that sort of things which I'M VERY ASHAMED of). | How much time do I have to wait until I can talk to my ex again if she is afraid that I hurt her emotionally? |
t3_vy0wz | AskReddit | I was referred to as a "wheel". What fucked up things have you're friends done/said to your face? | I was hanging out with a group of what i thought were fairly close friends (i've known for upwards of 3 years) at a bonfire which took place at one of their houses. One of the guys who wasn't there was hanging out with a girl that another one of our friends didn't particularly care for because she stabbed him with a pen in reaction to a practical joke. We didn't feel like bringing this kid over to the bonfire because we knew the girl he was with would start problems (the guy and the girl who weren't at the bonfire don't drive), so when they hit up everyones phone but mine for a ride, nobody responded. I make a comment on the fact that he didn't call my phone saying "He probably thinks I'm still at work thats why he's not calling me, lucky break eh?" (this being said in jest of course). The friend out of the group that I met first and certainly was the closest to promptly says "Well no-offense to you dude, but your kinda just a wheel in our group anyway. I honestly would've forgot to call you to come to this bonfire if (other friend at the bonfire) didn't tell me to invite you." This can be taken in one of two ways 1. I drive the group around a lot so i could be just a driver 2. I'm the newest guy in the group so I don't really matter that much to them (think like the third wheel effect if that makes more sense than how I'm explaining it). Either way it was meant in my head, I still took it offensively because it was a very brutal thing to say to someone, especially someone you hangout with a lot, I didn't show it at the bonfire so I just behaved regularly and left when it was appropriate. I was invited to another bonfire this coming friday and I'm honestly debating on not showing up out of principle and confronting the friend who said it before hand. | I was invited to a party where I was told that I'm either a third wheel or just the driver of our group of friends (very tricky wording made the comment unclear) that I've been hanging out with for years. |
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