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t3_ft3jk | Pets | Doberman or German Shepherd Dog/Alsatian owners, I have a few questions. | There has been a string of robberies around my neighborhood, and while I feel better having miniature dachshunds as alert dogs I am looking for a dog that will strike fear in a robber.
I have read so many things about the loyalty of these dogs and their natural protective instinct, however they are still extremely powerful dogs. I have a 4yo child who does well with the little dogs but I am a little wary of having a large dog around my child. My mother-in-law has a lab that constantly pesters for a reaction, and is normally rewarded with a healthy scream.
I am thinking of getting a puppy just because I want to dedicate the time to train in properly; that is to be kind to my child and my other dogs.
I want to know if any of you here on Pettit have these types of dogs that have manifested their protective qualities in a negative way such as trying to attack the mailman or cable guy.
I also want to know if your dog has manifested protectiveness in an endearing manner such as a constant eye on your children, or threatening a potentially dangerous person.
I know it's important to get a good breeder but I don't even know where to begin. I have not been personally acquainted with any of these breeds but I am highly curious. Please tell me what you think are important things to keep in mind.
I have raised many dogs and I know the importance of early socialization, spay/neuter, etc. | I want to know the good and bad qualities of these two most protective breeds. I am what I consider a responsible owner but I am not familiar with the breed. |
t3_qusqf | AskReddit | Canadians and Europeans of Reddit: What is the Work Ethic in Your Country Like? | I'm a software developer from the US. I know absolutely nothing about Europe, other than it exists, some of my ancestors are from there and my grandfather lost an eye fighting Nazis there.
My wife wants to move out of the US. If you haven't noticed, we're sort of riding the right-wing crazy train off a cliff. Neither of us particularly wants to live under Christian Sharia, so we're looking to jump ship.
Somebody told me that work schedules in Europe look different. That you guys work less, get paid less, get more time off and rarely have to work overtime.
That was kind of a shock to me, because I never get time off, get paid a boat load and have never had less that 20 hours of overtime (Time spent working, exceeding 40 hours in a given week, in case it means something else over there). I wouldn't know what to do with time off. Is this true? Is it mandatory? Would I be able to work more (and continue getting paid) if my employer and I were both cool with it?
If you do have lots of time off, what do you do with it? | Might want to move to one of those places in the near future, and I'm a one-dimensional workaholic with no life or interests to speak of. |
t3_tf8a3 | AskReddit | I just made a fool of myself in front of abunch of strangers. What was your last public humiliation? | I was hungry, so I decided to go to Chik Fil A. I get there and I get in line to order. The line was probably 15 people total. All is going well so far. I ordered a number 1 meal and paid, no problems. I totally just zoned out and started to leave without my order. The cashier goes "Sir! Your meal!" Ah, of course. Meal. When I turned around, my foot was on my other foots shoe lace. And as I stepped, I tripped over myself. I was heading towards the ground, fast, so I instinctively threw my hands out in front of me so I wouldn't face plant. "Of course, things couldn't possibly get worse," I said as I was falling. But yes, they could. I threw my arms directly into the chest of a woman, probably in her 30's, which was quite awkward. It was an accident. But I ended up pissing off her husband and making about 15 people stand there in shock. I grabbed my meal, said sorry to the woman, and got the fuck out of there. | Forgot meal, tripped into a woman's chest, pissed off her husband, and shocked a restaurant of people. |
t3_1xf4k5 | relationships | I (21f) am thinking of isolating myself from my family | I am the oldest of three girls. The other two are Beth (18) and Laura (16). Laura and I are fine and we are close but Beth and I couldn't be more different. I'm more introverted and into poetry readings and she is extroverted and into punk rock shows and drugs.
I've struggled with depression my whole life and tend to keep my troubles to myself but Beth has threatened to kill herself twice because she hasn't gotten what she's wanted. When I finally took the intitatitive to get myself medicated and finally felt better to make brownies for my friends, she etched the word "gross" into the brownies. When I broke down over it, my parents said to get a thick skin and to grow up.
Everytime I try to have a conversation with my parents about my accomplishments, she always tries to one up me saying that no one reads the stuff I write in the newspaper while she has 2000 followers on tumblr and people actually read it.
Whenever I try to talk to my parents about her, they just interrupt me and say to stop being jealous of my sister's accomplishments. They won't even let me finish.
Tonight, we had a family reunion, and I was trying to talk to my cousins that ai hadn't seen in a while, and the whole time I kept getting cut off by her and she eventfully just blocked me off from the circle. I just realized that being around this family is not good for my mental health and that I need to get away from them. I'm planning on applying to grad school on the other side of the country and kinda just not plan on coming back. Am I overreacting and should try to work this out or am I in the right? | My sister's behavior towards me is completely unbearable and because no one will at least hear me out, I'm thinking I need to be isolated from them for a while. |
t3_257b6k | relationships | Hi Reddit, need some emotional support. My (20, F) two year relationship with my (20, M) boyfriend just ended. Taking it pretty hard. What helps stop the hurt? | Hi Reddit, you're usually very nice. Just ended a two year long relationship with the sweetest, most loving and understand person I've ever met. Something just changed in him. Ever since he went to Ultra about six weeks ago with a bunch of his friends he just hasn't been the same. He hasn't been into hanging out with me or spending time with me, has no idea what's going on in my life. I just didn't feel like we were in a relationship anymore. So I had to end it after repeatedly asking and asking for him to make an effort with me and occasionally put me over his friends.
I guess I hoped that breaking up with him would make him realize I was serious and couldn't do this anymore. Even though I still want to be with him, just the old him before something in him flipped. I know I shouldn't be playing games by breaking up with someone, I just hoped there might be a little bit of the person in there that used to love me and adore me who might want to fight and try to make me feel important. Anyway, it hurts. And I'm having a big issue with sticking to the no contact rule. I haven't heard from him at all, so he seems to be taking it just fine. Which is only adding to the hurt.
I don't have a relationship with my family members to I was especially dependent on him as a person to go to and now he's not there anymore. My friends have been great, I'm just feeling a little guilty for being so mope-y around them. And I have three finals in the next five days. And just can't find it in me to get out of bed. Or move at all.
What helps? And what can I do to feel better? | Something flipped with my boyfriend, and it's clear that he doesn't care about me the same way he used to. Broke it off but taking it really hard. What can I do to stop the pain? |
t3_3x942y | relationships | My (26F) FWB likes to collect thongs from his sex partners. He (30M) is upset I won't give him one. Am I right to be creeped out? | I'll call him Jason. Jason and I have known each other about eight months now. We talk pretty often but live about an hour from each other and we have conflicting work schedules so we don't have sex often. He really likes my butt so I'll sometimes send him a picture of it, usually in a thong.
About two months after Jason and I first met, he told me he likes to collect thongs of women he sleeps with. I told him that's weird but we never really talked about it. When we've had sex since then though, he tells me he wants one of my thongs. I've always said no because again, I find it not only weird but also just creepy.
Finally, the other day, he was super busy. I had a glass of wine and said "if you give me advice on this work situation, I'll mail you a freaking thong." He called me, gave me advice. Now he keeps asking for the thong.
Now? Jason won't stop mentioning the stupid thing. We had plans to hang out tomorrow and I told him that I don't really feel comfortable giving him a pair of my undergarments. He went off on me saying I made a promise and if I don't do it he will never trust me again and I'll be dead to him. He said if I'm not comfortable giving him a thong then he's not comfortable hanging out with me.
Am I wrong to be uncomfortable with this? What would you do? | my FWB likes to collect thongs. I made an off handed comment that I'd mail him one. I'm incredibly uncomfortable with this and he's upset. Who's in the right? |
t3_rszzw | AskReddit | My dad has become a crazy liberal who blows up at friends/family that disagree with him. Any ideas on how to find a group/people to talk to to help get these feelings off his chest in a more reasonable manner? | Hi, I was wondering if anyone could help me with an issue I'm having. My dad is 60, an atheist, and an extreme liberal. He's very passionate about his views. But I find (especially as he's gotten older) that he is having more and more trouble not getting in knock down, drag out arguments with family members and friends about religion and politics and it's driving us all a bit nuts.
I agree with him on most points, but I also know how to not get SO ANGRY at people for disagreeing with me that I yell at them about how they're wrong. I feel his problem is that he has no outlet for these frustrations, so they build up until he explodes at the people around him. I don't live at home anymore, and I have school and work 12 hours each day. My sister has a 4 month old baby at home, and my mom just can not talk about these things with him. She's not religious, but she's not an atheist, and she is pretty liberal - but she just doesn't get worked up like he does, and has trouble with how worked up he gets. So he really doesn't have anyone to discuss these views with on a regular basis.
So my question is - Is there some kind of way to find a local group of atheists or liberals or like minded people with whom he can meet up and talk with regularly? I don't know if "self help" is the right word, haha, but... just people he can go and talk with, who have similar views. I'd rather him get it off his chest with people who feel the same way, and can really discuss it with him, than have him let it build up and explode at someone at dinner.
Thanks for any help! I just don't like seeing him so angry all the time and I want to find some way to help him. | Overly passionate liberal dad blows up at people, any groups he can go talk to of like minded people to ease his frustrations? |
t3_164d2t | relationships | I'm 19m, she's 21, she's amazing, but I'm terrified of commitment. Need help. | I'm 19, she's 21. We go to the same university, and we're both in Greek Life. She cooks, cleans, cuddles, back scratches, and is great at sex. She's incredibly attractive, and has a great family.
We've been intimate for 7 months, and she's been hinting at ending whatever have if we aren't official soon.
I'm so scared. I'm a fucking dick head frat guy who's cheated before. She's so amazing, and won't ever hurt her. But that doesn't make me any less terrified.
What are the pros and cons of college relationships?
Should I just be young and continue to be a rampant man whore, or should i commit to this amazing girl?...
Writing that down, it seems like an obvious decision. But I still don't know...help? | I'm a 19 m with a bad relationship history, great girl, 21, comes along, basically perfect, and I'm terrified of commitment, convince me to stay single or get over myself? |
t3_4ymxto | relationships | Me [21M] having trust issues with my girlfriend [18/F] of 4 months, my trust issues and long distance aren't going so well | My girlfriend and I met this spring and have been dating for 4 months now. She moved two hours away to college this week and the trust issues I knew I had deep inside have come out. I'm fucking everything up. She is an amazing girl, the first girl I would say that I actually truly love, and my trust issues are ruining this.
I got off of work tonight and I called her twice with no answer, so I started scrolling social media and I saw that she had just gotten off of Facebook two minutes before. So of course I feel my blood pressure spike and my insecurity climax as I start thinking of worst case scenarios. After blowing up her phone about how it felt like I was being ignored and blah blah blah for 20 minutes straight she calls me. Of course she starts chewing me out for being an asshole which she has every right to do so, and then I tried to explain myself and she said she'd call me later and hung up.
This isn't the first time this has happened, actually probably the third time in about two months that I've done this. I can't keep doing this though because I'm gonna lose her if I do. So I need help on how to deal with my trust issues and not let them effect our relationship. | I have trust issues and the girl I've been dating for 4 months just moved to college, I'm screwing everything up |
t3_2k5b7u | relationships | How do you Make you're own life choices while dating someone? | Your*
Me f (17) and SO m(18) are planning on moving in together at the end of October when i turn 18.I've been thinking for months now and I finally agreed upon it, no pressure from SO. With going to college and having jobs living together is a good place for us. My issue is that every choice I make I think about him and me. Its fine, but the fact is all my future choices... its a lot harder for me to decide... For example I wanted to be an artist but with such little pay him and me would suffer financially. I wanted to be a cop or FBI agent but I would have long hours and have to miss important events and will have to relocate or have to leave on the spot.. It wouldn't be right to do that to him.
I realize most of the things I want to do I never pictured me being with someone. The fear that whatever job I pick could be a mistake. I have not even applied for colleges because I have no idea what I want to be. I feel its holding me back.
My SO said I should fallow my heart and do what I want to do and he will support me with my choices, he's amazing and I feel so happy to be with him. The relationship is getting serious fast, which last year I expected to date after I went to college. He is my first boyfriend and he sweptme off my feet in highschool. I feel I'm too young and I never planned or saw this in my future. I feel I'm building my life around his but not building a life for me as an individual. | Im struggling on what to do in my life because of various things happening in my life in a young age, a lot of pressure and stress, I have no idea what I want to be |
t3_rdhu4 | AskReddit | What is the worst thing your SO's ex has ever done to you? | Mine goes like this.
My SO and I had been together for about 6 months, and his ex had moved out of town. We had their son living with us at his place where I had moved into. September came and their son was goin to go move in with his mom out of town. She was to go the apartment and pack his belongings to take with them. My boyfriend, his son an I went to go stay at my apartment which I was still renting because the ex had already been giving me a hard time and I didn't want to be there while she was. When everything was packed, my SO brought their son to meet her. I had left my stuff there exude we weren't going to be away for too long. While he was there, I asked him to bring me a couple of items I wanted.
They left, he came. I tried to put on the clothing he had brought me, only to find they were all cut up. Hoping it wasn't everything there, we go back and I look through all my stuff. Absolutely everything had been cut up. Shirts, pants, shoes. Even my bras and underwear. | SO's ex comes to take son and his belongings so he can o to school where she lives. While she's there, she cuts up all my clothing. |
t3_pkk88 | dating_advice | How should I approach this situation? | So I (21) was out last Friday, and I was with a friend who brought along 3 girls, one of which I thought was really cute. We all talked and had a pretty good time, but I didn't really think anything of it. Didn't get her number or anything, I didn't even try to make a move, we were all just hanging out.
My friend texted me today (a week later) saying that one of the girls of the group told him she thought I was cute. Specifically he said she said "you need to come out with me tonight, and bring K-man21, we need to hook him and [CUTEGIRL] up." He said she said some other stuff but that was the jist of it.
So, where do I go from here? I am out of town this weekend so I can't hang out with them, and I have no way of contacting her. I'm planning on just getting together with my friend next weekend and making him bring the girls with again. How do I make sure that happens, and I how do I go about approaching her? | Cute girl tells friend she likes me. Basically an acquaintance, no way of talking, how do I advance this further? |
t3_191cow | relationship_advice | (17/m) my friend (17/f) throwing mixed signals at me! | I'm sorry in advance if any of this seems immature but I'm just going to tell it as it is. Recently I met this cute girl (let's call her Sarah) through a mutual friend. We began to hangout, sometimes with other friends/sometimes alone. One day I decided to find out where this whole thing was going and she told me she wasn't looking for a relationship. I took this as code for 'I don't find you attractive/appealing'. I've got pretty good self-confidence so I didn't take it too harshly and we continued to hangout. The other night we were texting and we got onto the topic of sex and she basically admitted she found me very attractive and that her feelings were confused. The next day she tells me that the previous night she didn't mean to lead me on and that she's not looking for anything serious (probably either because she simply doesn't like me enough or because were leaving for college soon). Also here is some more info on the relationship we have been having. Were in the same group of friends so we see each other often, she takes a while to text me back/doesn't at all, when we are with each other we have a lot of fun and we talk very easily to each other, she has admitted I am an awesome person multiple times and that she's glad I'm in her life. So what do I do? Is she teasing me? Should I make a move to pursue a "fuck-buddy" scenario, or should I just stop trying. I feel like my chain is being yanked but I really do like her regardless. | My (f)riend is attracted to me but doesn't want a serious relationship. Do I pursue a fuck buddy scenario, try to shut off my emotions for her, or just cut off relations all together? |
t3_j7xhi | AskReddit | I'm a very, VERY heavy sleeper and cannot wake up anymore | Some nights I'll go to bed at 12/1 and still sleep until 9 or 10; or like today, I slept through until 1. What the hell? I can run on 6/7 hours of sleep, 5 if I really have to, but I've been sleeping more and more lately.
I've tried nearly every trick in the book for waking up on time.
I've pulled all-nighters, hoping that my body will appreciate it when I finally go to sleep and then wake up. This backfires because I will wind up sleeping more to make up for being up longer. So, scratch that.
I've tried energy drinks in the morning; I've tried 5-hour energy and if anything, it made me even more exhausted throughout the day. Forget this idea...
I've set alarm clocks across the room, forcing me to get up. What do I do? Stumble over to turn it off and then stumble back to bed.
I purchased the [SonicBoom] alarm clock and it *used* to work. Now, I'll wind up sleeping through the alarm for several hours.
I used to be able to go to sleep whenever and wake up whenever my alarm clock beckoned me to. Now, I wind up sleeping through my alarm clock and turning off all the alarms on my phone when they go off without even thinking about it. (I have SEVERAL set on my iPhone and I still can't get up.) | I'm having problems waking up in the morning, even with adequate sleep. Even the alarm clock that shakes my bed doesn't wake me. Help? |
t3_3w2bct | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] of 4 months, are in a LDR that may not be sustainable. | Hi /r/relationships!
I'm currently with my long distance girlfriend (UK/US) and we do love each other a lot. However, recently, I've felt that we've had less to talk about and I don't love her as much as I did at the start of the relationship or even before.
We have to spend at least 4-5 years in a LDR but I do believe married life with her would be awesome. However, I think I'm developing a crush on someone local. Now I would never cheat but I'm not sure what to do.
Do I break off the relationship or keep it? I feel that I love her and if we could last we could have a married life. But it's hard, maybe too hard, to sustain it for so long and I'm doubting that we can last.
I'm no longer excited to talk to her and don't place her in my highest priority. She's just someone I fall back on and know will love me. It seems I no longer have the spark. We've never met in real life and we cannot possibly arrange to meet until a year later.
I'm uncertain to break up as I don't know if i will find anyone as good as her in the future.
WHAT DO I DO? | LDR beginning to fall about, never met each other. Love her and she may be "the one." Uncertain about breaking up and not excited about her anymore. |
t3_3pws8c | tifu | TIFU by storming out on my friend/Foreman | So this happend this morning, I work for a company who has been faced with some "temporary layoffs". My position is being affected and another co workers job has been affected. The other co worker has been with the company for 18 years, I have been with he company for 1 year. The co worker is 66, I am 27.
The co worker was asked if he would like to be bought out, he does not, so that means he bumps me out of my position ( that's life I understand). This is where the fuck up happens. So me and my friend/foreman go out to breakfast on company time because f--ck the company. We get to taking about how shitty the situation is for all parties involved is. I get angry because I am losing my job to a 66 year old man who has access to a full pension and an incentive package, I am emotional so I voice how the old man should just retire, his house is paid for, kids are grown, if I was him I'd retire. My friend doesn't agree with me, asks me how I would feel if I was being forced into retirement. I am getting worked up the longer we go back and forth. I am angry because it's easy to say that when you are not in danger of losing you position so I get up and storm out of restaurant. My friend comes back to our office and tells me to go home and have the day off with pay.
This makes for an awkward Monday, because I don't know the extent of the damage that was caused by my actions. | getting laid off, acting like a baby because an old man bumps me out of job, took it out on my friend/boss. |
t3_31rz7l | relationships | Am I being clingy and paranoid? | I've (16F) recently started dating this guy (17M) that I like. We were best friends before we started dating, so we are super close already. I'm bi, so sometimes we look at girls together and talk about how hot they are. I love being that cool girlfriend. All his friends think it's awesome that we're so open with each other. I tell him about guys I think are hot, and him being straight doesn't comment, but listens and sometimes laughs. I like him a lot. However, there are girls at our school who have crushes on him, and he's friends with them. It makes me uncomfortable because he has told me before that he thinks that they're attractive and has what we call "tiny feelings" (crushes you would never ACT on) for them. That makes me feel weird and I often get really upset. There was also a girl who graduated last year that he had tiny feelings for. She was very beautiful. Hot even. One time while we were together he even said that if he had "played his cards right he could have boned her" I got really upset and he didn't understand why. Am I being clingy and paranoid, or have I just given him too long of a leash? Am I wrong for being upset? | my boyfriend looks at and talks about other girls in front of me, talked about having sex with one. Am I right to be upset? |
t3_pwofs | AskReddit | Reddit, please help. I need some advice on possible attorney extortion. | So I'll try to make this as short as possible. My dad started a company the beginning of last year selling a bottle opener called "MyTopOff." (www.mytopoff.com it's hard to explain what it does)
He ran a few television commercials last year and didn't have much success. He has been doing a bit of online marketing and hasn't broken even yet on his investment for getting this all started. He even packs and ships this product from his own garage.
The commercial for the product says "buy one get one free", but there's extra postage on the second item. This is pretty standard on most commercials, and before someone checks-out online it clearly states the extra fees for the shipping on the additional item.
My dad received notice for a case that was filed by an attorney out of New Jersey (name withheld by me) who filed a class-action lawsuit against my dad because of the "deceptive" advertising. Upon further research my parents saw that this attorney files about 100 cases a year against companies for this same thing; usually settling out of court for large sums of money. This attorney ordered the product with the intention of filing this case, and I'm assuming the attorney keeps all the money he collects.
My dad ended up calling the attorney, and the attorney said this can all "go away" for $15,000. The problem is, my dad hasn't even made $1 on this product yet, and is struggling trying to get his business going. He called a couple other attorneys about this, many of them know who this bad attorney is. If my dad tried to fight it, it would cost him approximately $10,000, and then it's a gamble whether he will win or lose.
Does anyone have any advice on what plan of action my dad could take? He's a great guy and this whole ordeal has been super upsetting for him. | Dad sells product online with a start up business; a con-artist attorney is filing a case against him for "false advertising." Looking for advice. |
t3_4f981f | relationships | Me [21 F] with my 22 [M] dated for 10 months, been broken up for a month and my anxiety has gone off the charts | Basically my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. It sucked, but until a week ago, I was really getting over it and feeling happ.y
A week ago, he approached me at a party and started crying at me, telling me he really missed me and wanted to talk to me. All my feelings flooded back again. So we started talking again. We met in person, but because we were both pretty bitter from the breakup, we had a fight.
Since the fight, he has not initiated any conversation with me. It just really fucking sucks, because I didn't want to break up with him in the first place and when he told me he missed me, I really did get my hopes up. But now he's just cold again. I have no idea what I should do. Should I even bother trying to talk to him if he doesn't initiate?
I have anxiety and recently it's been getting really bad. This whole relationship mess has really made it worse than ever. This weekend he had a frat formal and took another girl. Seeing the pictures on facebook makes me want to literally either 1) run away from my college and never come back 2) hurt myself. I really don't know what to do right now it's just all really agonizing. | boyfriend broke up with me, said he missed me, but then went cold, now my anxiety is going really badly. |
t3_26e0f2 | relationships | I [26 F] am quite certain there is no future with my SO [27 M] of 1 year. We live together in a small space, but I can't move out yet. | My boyfriend is a kind, loving, attractive man, but my feelings for him have been waning for some time. We share very few common interests and I feel his devotion to gaming stunts his personal growth and our relationship. Have tried talking about all of these issues many, many times, but no improvement. I love him, but I see no future for us.
The problem is that we live together, and I am an immigrant in this country (his native country). My work visa will be renewed in the future, but right now I have no guarantee for a renter that I will be in the country longer than the next few months.
Do I to wait up until the visa is renewed and I can leave? Do I break up now and just keep living together in this small space until I can leave? I want to do right by my boyfriend, who only deserves the best. I think staying in the relationship while my heart's not in it is bad, but living on top of each other after I break up with him may be worse.
Extra info: The apartment rental is in his name; he lived here before I came to this country so I have neither obligation nor right to stay here. I don't think he would kick me out (he's a good man and I'd have nowhere to go), but I also have no real right to force him to live with me after we break up. | Cannot yet move out of shared apartment due to immigration stuff; should I break up now or wait until I can leave the apartment? |
t3_3pf55b | relationships | I (28F) like to be alone lately; away from (32M) | Lately, I've really been enjoying being away from my significant other. I am so sick of always worrying about whether they will be upset if I am doing something they disapprove of. Then, if the s/o finds out, I get lectured. I should be able to go where I want to go and when I want to go without them giving me a hard time about it (especially when it comes to visiting a family member during a difficult situation).
I want to spend more time with myself. I get annoyed when my s/o calls to ask where I am. I get annoyed when my s/o wants to talk or be intimate. The only reason that I don't leave is because I care so much about them and I don't want to hurt them. I sometimes wonder if I am also by hurting my s/o by staying with them and not allowing them to find someone better than I. | I have been trying to spend more time alone and I feel like this relationship takes too much energy, we have been together for almost 8 years ... |
t3_29fguo | relationships | I [23 M] need some help overcoming my impatience. I get really cold and mean when I am impatient and it is really ruining my relationships. | I am very impatient. If I start an activity, I will complete it as accurately and quickly as possible. People commend my efficiency. I put my 100% in whatever I do. If I don't know something, I don't complain. I find the solution. I ask others for guidance and don't bitch about how something is too hard or complicated. Bro, its life. If it was easy we'd all be billionaires.
So anyway, my attitude is ruining my relationships. I expect the same out of others and when they fall short its like a fuse goes off inside my brain. I just say something horrible or demeaning that puts down the other person.
I need some help overcoming my horrible attitude. I'm a nice guy when its just fun and games. In fact, I'm described as a party animal. However, when I snap, it is horrible. I've made people cry. And at night, I cry myself to sleep for having ruined a relationship with a friend.
Please help me. | I overreact and blow up at people and it is ruining my relationships. Help me over come my impatience. |
t3_219khw | Parenting | Husband said he can't love 2 kids at once, is this true? | My husband and I are talking about having another child (1st child is his from another marriage, this is my first child). He has had full custody of his 7 year old son since he was 1 years old and mother has standard visitation.
We were talking and I mentioned how my grandmother said he will always love his first child more since he spent the past 6 years raising him. I jokingly brought this conversation up and he said, "well, you might not want to hear this but it's probably true". I was shocked and heart broken. When I asked why, he said "because I have been the sole provider for my son and had to be both parents for him. If we have a child, I will just have to be the father and you will be there to help". When I asked about love, he said there will always be a special place in his heart for his first son and his first son will always come first because his is the only one responsible for him.
Is this true? Are there any fathers out there that have full custody of their child and had another child down the road? Can you really only love one of your kids? The one that you spent raising most of the time and now that you have help with the second child you can only give half your love away? | Husband has full custody of his child, we are talking about having a child together and he said he won't love our child as much as his first. Is this true? |
t3_2cjoyf | relationships | I (22M) am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend(35F) of 7 months. I really like her and we're taking things slow but I'm still kind of iffy about it. | I met my girlfriend when she worked at a restaurant that I go to frequently and we've connected. We went on some dates but she thought I was older than I actually was. After telling her my actual age she was kind of weirded out and we stopped talking. I didn't pursue her because I still wanted to be get friends but the feelings were still there.
Some months later she needed help moving and asked for my help. I agreed and during the week we connected again. We ended up being in a relationship and I'm happy with her.
I know she has kids and I know that they'll always come before me which is easily understandable. That isn't the issue. My thing is that my family can be judgemental and I don't know how to tell them without them acting funny. I can easily be guilt tripped and I want to keep her along with my family. I need help please | I'm iffy about being with my girlfriend who is older and need help trying to tell my family who is judgemental |
t3_2hw8wg | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F], 8 months, I need to go ahead and leave, right now | Okay, I'm British, my girlfriend is Costa Rican. I came to Costa Rica 11 months ago to work on a volunteer project, which lasted approximately 6 months in total. It was always my intention to head to Canada afterwards (for which I have a year-long work visa).
I met my girlfriend during this time in Costa Rica and thought she was amazing. I thought I was going to marry this girl. Somehow I talked myself into agreeing to stay until February 2015 (the longest I could stay in Costa Rica without jeopardising my Canada visa), even thought I have no work permit in Costa Rica and can't even really speak Spanish that well.
Needless to say, this relationship has tanked. I've basically given up a social life and my short-term career prospects to be with this girl.
It didn't seem like such a crazy idea at the start when things were great (go figure) but our relationship has steadily deteriorated, to the point where I don't think we've gone 24 hours without an argument for a long time. I hate it. I want to be free again. I'm ready for the next part of my life.
Here's the clincher - I feel like I could emigrate to Canada OR break up with my girlfriend. But both at the same time feels like this insane obstacle in my mind. I need your help Reddit. Any words of encouragement, anything to keep my convinced that this is the right choice. I live with her at the moment, but she's away for the day at work. I'm going to use this time to pack my stuff and get out to a hostel. Please, please keep me motivated enough to carry through with this. I tried to leave once before while she was actually here, and god, I just couldn't do it. The guilt, eh. | I'm ready to get out of a relationship that stopped being good for either of us a long time ago. Please convince me that I'm doing the right thing. |
t3_3a9k50 | offmychest | I'm turning into a cheater | I was on Whisper, looking to vent about relationship problems. SO and I have been having a rocky relationship the past couple months, fighting, not making progress with working on things, the works. I'm unhappy, he's unhappy, but he also has issues with depression and a breakup would send him spiraling and I can't bring myself to do that to him, because I do still care.
Back to whisper, I get the usual dogs private messaging me to try to get me to cam with them and such. One guy, responds with another whisper saying something troll-like about wanting to fuck. I message him intending to tell him to fuck off, but somehow we actually strike up a conversation. We talk for a few days, swap selfies, switch to snapchat. We talk all day, every day. He knows about my boyfriend. We decide to meet up, in person.
Now, I know there are all kinds of horror stories about meeting strangers on the internet. I'm a fan of Law and Order SVU and Criminal Minds, I usually stay ahead with my personal safety. We met at a Starbucks, daylight, I got there before him and told a friend I was meeting someone and gave them the address and told them to make sure they heard from me in an hour.
Anyway, we met, we talked more, in person this time, and there's chemistry. And while we haven't done anything yet, I have a feeling it's on the horizon. And I am feeling like an awful person when I sit back and think about things, but when I'm talking to this guy, I feel free again, like I can be myself without the judgments I get from my boyfriend. And while I told a friend I was meeting someone, no one actually knows about what's going on between me and this guy other than me and him. | Met a guy on Whisper but have a BF, started talking, like each other and he makes me feel like I can be myself. Feeling awful but don't want to stop feeling free. |
t3_ia017 | AskReddit | Bored and poor. My fellow Redditors, I need your help! | I am currently on summer break from my university, and have yet to find a job. Read: I have a LOT of free time on my hands, but no money with which to do lots of things like live entertainment, travel, etc. Preferably something that get's me out of the house, and/or learning a skill (I have a guitar but have never been able to commit to learning it), or just learning (links to interesting sites are welcome and appreciated). "Going for walks" and the like aren't quite stimulating enough anymore. I'm pretty demanding for social interaction, but not so great at striking up conversations with complete strangers. I've tried to death the usual, learning language, instrument, reading my books, but they have not succeeded in captivating my attention. Reddit, I need your help! | I'm bored and broke, and need to either get out of my place or spend my time at home learning something new and awesome. |
t3_1fbsy2 | relationships | Is my girlfriend(22) overreacting because I(24) didn't do anything on our actual anniversary date? | So my girlfriend(22) and I(24) just celebrated our 1 year anniversary, we both have school full time and couldn't actually do anything on our anniversary so I set up plans for Friday that I was going to surprise her with. For a gift I bought us season passes to her favorite park ($250 for the 2 of us) and she knows that I got them for us. Due to school and the fact that I am low on funds (she knows my financial situation) I didn't do anything for her on our actual anniversary date and now she doesn't want to talk to me, she refuses to say she loves me (when I tell her I love her before she drives, stuff like that) and wants to give me back gifts I bought her from this past year together and she keeps saying "I am done" but not that were broken up. She also said that If I try to do anything for her now she will take it as me trying to make up for not doing anything on our anniversary and will not accept/go anywhere.
Is she over reacting? I mean she didn't even get me a gift or anything like that and she is acting like I completely forgot about our relationship. I tried explaining everything to her and all I get from her is "whatever" or "I am done".
Can I get some of your opinions? | I didn't do anything "special" for our one year anniversary even though my GF knows I spend $250 on her gift and now she wont talk to me |
t3_2bshcp | personalfinance | Public Service Loan Forgiveness - what will I need to be grandfathered in? | Hi all,
I posted this in /r/studentloans but that subreddit looks pretty dead, so I thought I'd cross-post here.
I just graduated law school with ~$180k in student loans from undergrad and law school. Did all this knowing I'd have my school paying my loans for 5 years, make income-based repayments for another 5, and then be off scot-free thanks to Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF).
The Obama administration has recently proposed changes to the program which include a forgiveness cap at $57,500, but I have heard that some people may be able to be grandfathered in to receive full loan forgiveness.
Back-of-envelope estimates indicate that the difference between being grandfathered n or not for me is around 100-125k, so being grandfathered in would be huge for me.
The catch is this - my first year of employment will be through a fellowship where I'll technically be self-employed, so I won't qualify for | $180k in student loan debts from 2007-2014. Need to be grandfathered in to public service loan forgiveness without the cap. What do I need to do? |
t3_23axyp | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19F] dating for about 2 months, do we have an expiration date? | I've recently just started to date this girl that i've been friends with since November 2013. We started off as friends and we hit things off really well and started dating. Now everything's been fantastic. Although I can only see her on the weekends (we go to different colleges) we spend as much time together as possible and enjoy each other's company
Now I'm about to graduate college and take a year break before going to get my masters in psychology and she's still in school right now. She currently attends a community college and she's told me her dreams about going upstate to study in San Francisco. Now this gal is the traveling type and at some point she also wants to travel abroad to Europe to study there as well.
The problem is that we currently live in the L.A. area and so if she does transfer to an upstate college we would be separated by 400 miles. And I am not a big fan of long distance relationships.
So here lies the dilemma. What the hell should I do. I don't want a long distance relationship because they practically always fail. But at the same time I don't want to lose her. I really like her a lot and I feel like I am falling in love with her but the whole transferring college thing is a huge deterrent. I don't want her to give up her plans for me either because that would be incredibly selfish on my parts. I'm really stuck in a rut here | Boy meets girl. Instant chemistry. Girl wants to transfer to college thats far far away. Break up now before getting hurt? or continue? |
t3_1154a3 | dating_advice | Co-Worker (22F) is playing hot and cold with me (27M). How do I keep things hot? | Sorry for the wall of text in advance, I'm really in a bind and need to explain a few moments :)
About 4 months ago we hooked up at an after work party, we were away from other co-workers at the time so it was discreet. Plenty of alcohol was involved. We didn't act weird at work (after the matter) and continued being funny and social with each other.
I constantly think about her, but worry that it will never work out since we work literally 10 steps away from eachother in an office. So I muster up the courage to ask her out on a date a few months later, and I get friend zoned that she doesn't see me "that way". We continue to be cool and go out together, but I watch her hook up with other guys out at the bars (we go out in big groups) and I feel crushed.
Fast forward, a few weeks. We all go out again, everyone crashes out early and me and her continue to dance the night away. She makes an automatic assumption that she is crashing at my house and we taxi back home. We hook up again and have some playful foreplay the following morning. I throw some text flirts later that day and I get really short responses.
Is this just an alcohol fueld lust? I'm having more and more feeling everytime this happens and don't just want to be a hookup for the night. We work so close that I don't want to keep confronting her and make things gradually akward. Any advice on how to keep a girl who is playing hot and cold...hot?! | Co-worker goes back and forth from wanting to hook-up and friendzone, I feel something is there but maybe she is overthinking us being co-workers, how do I keep her in the game? |
t3_2n9ta7 | tifu | TIFU By mentioning that my parents beat me | So as with the majority of these posts, this didn't happen today, if you want the specific date, then it was the day Harry potter: chamber of secrets was released.
I was in elementary school, my mom that morning had given me a surprise and told me that she would pick me up early from school and take me to see the new harry potter movie, I was beyond excited. however I had a meeting with a guidance councillor during recess or something, where I managed to screw it up fantastically.
I had pretty regular meetings with the guidance councillor at my school as i was a bit of a bully in my super young kid years, being a bit chubby as a child and bigger than everyone didn't help. My councillor asked me if i had seen anything that would make me want to bully people....... I said my parents hit me... Social services came in, I didn't see Harry Potter that day. | Told guidance councillor my parents hit me, they didn't really hit me, social services came in, my parents didnt actually hit me, I missed harry potter |
t3_52faad | relationships | My [21M] boyfriend use to lie to his ex [?F] and I'm worried he's doing the same to me [19/F] | I'm in a fairly new relationship of three months with my boyfriend. We met online and talked for a few months before finally meeting in person and we sort of clicked.
And while I love him, there are a few things from his past that have raised red flags for me. Apparently, he use to lie to his ex of seven months that he loved her, just because he didn't want to be alone. He said he was never attracted to her, and they didn't get on well and just wasn't a healthy relationship, but he still lied and said he loved her when he didn't.
I found out he was actually on the dating site while he was still with her, even though he didn't do anything. He "just likes talking to people". And they broke up not long before we started dating, he broke up with her.
It's given me quite a bit of anxiety, worried that he doesn't actually like me at all and just wants me around because he doesn't want to be alone.
I've talked to him about it, saying that I really really don't want him to say or do anything he doesn't mean. We basically said once we got together that we'd have a totally honest relationship but I don't know. He seems genuine, introduced me to his family and his grandparents which apparently he hasn't done in the past. I have talked about this with him before but it won't quench my anxiety. What do I do? | He use to say "I love you" to his ex, even when he didn't. How do I know he won't be the same to me? |
t3_34dwd8 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my SO[21 F] 7 months, issue with jealousy | I have an issue where I find it impossibly difficult to trust my SO but logically I know nothing is an issue. But currently my SO hangs out with to study with this guy every day for hours at a time and as of yesterday she finally has admitted that the guy clearly likes her more than a friend. Well even after all that she is still being rather close with him and hiding texts from me, which now just makes me beyond uncomfortable.
I wish I didn't get jealous but I do and can't help it, plus all the guys she works with and tells me she isn't friends with (works at best buy) I find it hard to believe she isn't friends with them. Since today is her 21st birthday and they all have posted on her FB wanting to take her to get drunk and everything. Which wouldn't bother me so much if she didn't say they weren't friends, same as how she told me she wasn't going to go meet up with the guy I mentioned previously and then less than an hour later she lets slip that she had already planned on meeting him. | Can't handle jealousy, do I just end the relationship or try and resolve the issue. Is there ever going to be resolution? |
t3_30ia04 | loseit | I ate 1500 calories over my target yesterday. But today is a new day. | So yesterday I was about 50 calories under my limit for the day, and thought I was done eating. Well, I ended up trading shifts with a coworker of mine so that I could see my girlfriend for a bit last night and not have to wake up at 3:15 this morning. So I go out with the girlfriend to this little fruteria (Mexican fruit/ice cream/dessert shop) in her neighborhood, with plans on getting a little tropical fruit with lime juice, chili powder, and Valentina hot sauce. The snack would have put me over a little bit, but not too bad. Plus, I decided before I started this self-improvement project that I'm not going to let my demons and restrictions fuck up my ability to have fun with those I love, even if that fun sometimes involves a bit of eating. Well, when we get there, my inner fat kid kicks in, and decides he wants the Medium (read: gargantuan) size bowl of strawberries and cream with granola on top as well. So together, we eat all this "healthy" food, and after I do the math, I discover I'm roughly 1500 calories over my daily limit! My first reaction was "Geez Louise, I fucked up royally! Ugh, this is terrible!" Then I thought about it for a second.
My daily deficit right now is targeted at -750/day. So I technically went 750 over an equilibrium day. Not near as scary as 1500, although still definitely not worth celebrating. I chalked it up to a fun night with my girlfriend in which I went overboard, and if this only happens once every week or two, I'm still making decent progress. Because to me, it's not worth it to stress to the max about every tiny decision I make or meal I eat. It's about the overall trend over a very long period of time. "Am I healthier and lighter than I was 3/6/9/12 months ago?" Absolutely. So what is there to worry about? Today, I got up, had my normal breakfast of 1 egg, some egg beaters, coffee, and black beans, and I'm ready to make today a success. | Sometimes you screw up. Own it, and realize that as long as you are making progress overall, there's no reason to dwell on it. |
t3_20xwtt | relationships | Me [19F] with my ex [19M] broke up a few months ago, and I feel that I am ready to date again, but I don't feel like I really know what to expect when meeting new people | My ex and I started dating in high school, and our relationship lasted a long three years. We recently broke up due to him moving away, and it took a while to get over him, but I feel like I finally am now.
I am currently in university, and some guys have already asked me out. My biggest concern isn't if I'm ready to see new people- I really believe that I am... But I have no idea how the dating world works, as I had been with the same guy for the past three years, and that's the only relationship I'd ever had.
Are you supposed to only "date" one guy at a time? Does the topic of sex just come up and you share your views on when you should have sex in a relationship? Do you wait for them "to text you first?"
I know that I probably sound clueless, it's just that with my ex, everything just came so naturally.... Maybe I'm over thinking this, but I don't really know what to expect when I enter "the dating world." | Out of a 3 year relationship with my ex, ready to start dating again, not really sure what to expect, what is proper dating etiquette, etc |
t3_nrmpw | AskReddit | Help, Christian stranger living in my great grandparents' house. | My great aunt is currently 72 years old and lives by herself (sorta) in my great grandparents' old house which she inherited many years ago. She is devoutly christian and believes that anyone else who is christian could not possibly be evil or have unholy intentions. This is where things get kinda awkward and I could use some help. My aunt met a homeless man at church recently and has allowed this man to stay at her house; not just until he gets back on his feet, but permanently. No paperwork has been filled out because my aunt does not believe in the legal system, as she believes that god will protect her. The house legally belongs to her as well as 2 of her sisters (still alive), one being my grandmother. My grandmother is concerned that when my aunt passes away, the homeless man will not leave the house. I guess my main question is for those familiar with the legal system. Could this homeless man legally stay in the house after my aunts death? Could this man ever potentially take ownership of the house if my aunt gives him ownership in her will? My grandma says that this man is just using my aunt and he may be growing too comfortable. It has been almost a year since he moved in. If there are any important details that I am missing feel free to ask and I will try to fill you all in asap. My whole family (minus the christian aunt) is at my house right now and they are very thankful that reddit could answer some questions that have been bothering them so much. Sorry if there are a lot of grammatical errors; I am texting this from my phone. | my really christian aunt is letting a homeless man from church stay at my great grandparents' house. She is going to die soon, what will happen with the homeless guy? |
t3_1g7f4r | AskReddit | What is the best way to deal with a bratty teen? | He is my cousin, he is 15 years old, and we both live with our grandparents. I live there because it is closer to my work and he lives there because "it is closer to his school." I love my cousin to death as a family member, however, he never listens to anybody and doesn't contribute toward cleaning the house. He basically just comes to eat and sleep and smoke weed in his room. It is practically a free all-inclusive hotel for him. At first I didn't really mind... however it is getting a lot worse, he mistreats my grandparents, which pisses me off due to the fact that they are more fragil and they cant really take that kind of stress due to the fact that they have health complications, and the amount of weed has increased over time. He now smokes inside the house which really gets everyone mad because the smell penetrates our clothes.
So to get to my point... I was wondering if there was a way to maybe scare him into shaping up, maybe calling the police anonymously? Im in California so I am pretty positive that marijuana only gets you a slap in the wrist. | Brat smokes weed and takes advantage of grandparents hospitality. Want to make an anonymous report because the amount of weed has increased by a lot. |
t3_37b7av | relationships | [23/M] met a girl [21/F] on my connecting flight to Denmark and hit it off. Had to separate in the end but exchanged emails. Need help | I [23/M] was flying from the U.S. to Denmark and on m connecting flight to Ireland, I sat next to a real sweetheart of a girl [21/F]. She was on a school photography trip whereas I was backpacking solo across Europe. I felt like we hit it off really well. It was the first serious connection I felt like I had with someone in long time. The flight attendants and neighboring passengers were teasing us throughout the flight and just telling us to get married.
She showed a lot of interest like laughing at just about everything I said, falling asleep on my shoulder and other things I probably shouldn't mention. Problem is I knew we were separating once we got off our 7 hour flight so I didn't wanna push things too fast. Part of me regrets that but I know what happens during whirlwind romances and I found a serious interest in her. We don't live far away from each others' homes as our home states share borders.
She mentioned that she wished she brought her phone but didn't because she wanted to be away from it during her trip. So instead, I thought hey let's get each others' emails! We did and I sent her an email two nights after telling her what I was doing in Copenhagen and seeing how she's been. She replied with a lengthy email and sent me some pictures of her and beautiful Ireland.
Do you guys have any advice of how to approach this? Ireland is on my plan in about 5 days. | met a girl on a flight from US to EU. Had a lot of fun and connected. Separated at end because of different destinations. Traded emails. Currently 5 days since trip. |
t3_4tfxrj | dogs | [Help][discussion]Dogs sharing beds | Disclaimer: I write this post knowing I am already an overprotective dog dad...
Recently, my Girlfriend and her dog moved into my place (just for a few months until she moves out of state). Her pup and my pup get along great. They enjoy playing with each other, cuddle together, and have never gotten into a real fight (just scuffles when one is playing too rough and the other doesnt like it). My dog is pretty submissive while her dog is definitely more on the dominant side. Usually this is not an issue, and I'm not sure that it even is an issue now, but I am a little concerned that my little guy is starting to feel less comfortable in his own home.
The thing that is concerning me most is that my guy doesn't use a dog bed, but is very attached to his crate (he has two in the house). Her dog is obsessed with his bed. Recently, when his bed is in a room that is closed off, he will go into my pups crate. I don't mind this too much except that whenever my dog gets near the crate when hers is in it, her dog growls at mine.
This happens with some other things as well, but the bed/crate situation is the one that concerns me most because the crate is my pups safe spot and he can become uncomfortable if he cant get into his crate. So, I am wondering if I need to make sure her dog doesn't get into the crate, or if this is just dogs being dogs and I am worrying too much and need to let it go? | Girlfriends dog takes my dogs crate and growls at my dog when he tries to go into it. Should I stop it? |
t3_40hjfn | tifu | TIFU by going to the dentist | This happened this morning. I was going to my dentist to get one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. The actual 'pulling out' went fine and when they were finished I asked if I could have my tooth back. Yeah, no problem with that they gave it to me so I could see it. The dentist told me to keep a swab on the place where the tooth was to keep the blood from running. Next thing I know I'm back at school and bump into my gang (a few girls there too). One of them asks where I've been and I showed my tooth to them. Only then I realized it was fucking huge, like twice the size of a normal tooth and it was still bloody. One of the girls saw that and almost instantly puked on the guy sitting next to her. I guess she wont be a doctor.
Sorry for bad English. | went to get my wisdom teeth pulled out, showed the tooth all bloody to my friends and one of them puked on another. |
t3_2w9qpe | relationships | I [F23] think I've just been stood up by my ex/FWB [26M] and I need some harsh advice | Alright, so about 9 months ago I met and began dating a coworker, let's call him Raymond. After around 5 months, we broke up and began, essentially, no contact.
*I* was the stupid one and broke no contact, mostly to act like a crazy moron and, in the process, lose his trust. After another couple of months, I visited my parents and stayed with them while also quitting the job where we were co-workers. This helped me clear my head and we began to talk as we had before the dating--about TV and movies, little else. He was also away visiting family and I think this helped both of us immensely.
Now, a couple of weeks ago, we met up for return burgers and ended up drinking, smoking, and fucking. We both agreed on it being nice and met up that next week, had drinks, and talked about hooking up again.
Tonight, I'm waiting at our usual weekly meetup spot, not having heard from him in the past couple of days. His birthday is soon and I was hoping to give him the Xmas present I had picked up when we were still together along with some cookies I baked for him. I know it's presumptuous to think he'll show, we usually just text, "Youu going? I'm going," but I'm worried--normally we text each other a little day to day but the last I heard was on Sunday. I don't have feelings anymore (being with my family reminded me of what's important to me) but I care about him like a friend or a brother (that I happen to enjoy screwing so...eh). Am I overreacting? And feel free to criticise away, my skin is surprisingly thick. | My ex of a few months is now a FWB and he didn't show to our weekly meetup spot and hasn't texted since Sunday. Should I worry or am I being a clingy, overprotective ladyfriend? |
t3_2vrikf | personalfinance | My wife needs help disputing a charge. Our bank and student loan company are sending us in circles. | My wife has student loans. She recently went back to school, which means her loan payments should have briefly ended. However, she woke up the other day to see that the company withdrew money. She called them and was told that her school didn't tell them that she's a student again, so they continued to withdraw money. She called the school and, since we're in Boston and have had THREE blizzards back-to-back (with another tomorrow!), the school extended their add/drop period and haven't sent out letters regarding in-school deferment to loan companies yet.
The loan company told my wife to dispute the charge with the bank, the bank told my wife that she couldn't dispute it because she previously authorized the loan company to withdraw the money. However, the loan company says they can't issue a refund and my wife's college says that either the bank OR the loan company should give her a refund since she was a full-time student as of 1/20 and her loans should have been deferred for February.
This is inanely confusing. What the heck should we do? | Wife's college didn't tell loan company she's full-time student, she got charged, nobody wants to give a refund. |
t3_2a9u9y | askwomenadvice | I 26m Not sure if 24 F is into me or is she using me | So this girl. Who is a co-worker.
Talks a lot about her self.
I noticed that I have to initiate conversations most of the time she would respond for sure not only she would respond for my one line question she would respond with a bunch of lines and lots of smileys but rarely would ask me back.
We used to talk a lot face to face.Again its me asking question and she keeps on answering them but they are always long conversations.
I had one telephonic conversation with her which lasted 2 hours. I wanted to keep the phone but she didn't allow me too. But that was the only time we ever spoke on the phone.
She used to ask when could we go for a coffee, when I would try to confirm the date and time she would back off.
One day I baked something for some co-workers ,she said in front of so many that she would take me out next monday for sure but the following week she acted as if that never happened.
I wanted to see if she missed me but for 2 months,I acted cold and would work in a different section of office just to avoid seeing her.she didn't message me. She kinda did forward me some stuff on whatsapp.
Now after 3 months she started talking to me or would IM me because she desperately wants a new job and would vent a lot about how bad the current one is. I would mostly talk about giving her career tips or something and try to deviate and talk something else.
Seeing how long we could talk and seeing how exciting she would be when she replies sometimes make me feel she is playing hard to get. But 90% I am sure she is not interested she is just being nice and even if she is using me how should I escape from this situation. | It seems this girl likes to talk to me but doesn't show any interest in me and all of a sudden wants me help to get her a job. |
t3_38z783 | tifu | TIFU because i don't wear my glasses enough. | Fyi, i hate wearing glasses. All day everyday. But i learned today why i should.
First let me give you the beginning before we get to the point.
I moved to another zipcode almost a year now and because my daughter of 7 still wanted to end her schoolyear on her ol school before going to a new school in the neigbourhood. I said yess. Here is where it starts. Because i do everything with a bicycle, i would bring her every morning and pick her up every afternoon. But the fastest way to get to her school i have discovered short cuts between houses. There is this neigbourhood where my short cut runs through. And i dont know why, but they put up posters up on de door to their garage. And i've been seeing this particular poster hanging of 2pac holding a white baby. For months i've been trying to figure this out. Like why is 2pac holding a white baby. Everytime i passes the poster i reminisced about the good old days and trying to find out what the purpose was of the white baby in his hand. Untill today. Today i had my glasses on. When i picked my daughter up from school, i took as always the same shortcut through this neigbourhood. I wish i wouldn't. When i passed this particular house with 2pac holding a white baby, as always i looked at the poster like it was a common friend but this time the poster felt like a stranger. Instead of 2pac, i saw a big, black, bald, big ass muscles man holding a white baby. So all this time i thought it was 2pac. And telling my daughter what a good rapper he was. She'll forever think 2pac is a big, black, bald, big ass muscles man who likes to hold white babies. | For months i thought i saw 2pac holding a white baby but it was a big, black, big ass muscles man holding a white baby. |
t3_3cn1sv | relationships | Me [24 M] talking to a [17 F] for a few weeks. Everyone says don't do it, not many good reasons why. | So throwaway because I'm still not really sure how to feel about this. I met this girl at work about a month ago and was immediately attracted to her, so we flirted a bit but once I found out how old she was I started ignoring her. All this did was make her flirt with me a lot more, with no disregard to what was going on at work.
This continued for a few weeks and then she started asking if I wanted to hang out, and I did. We were supposed to go to the movies but didn't make it in time so they wouldn't sell us tickets. We ended up just sitting in the parking lot for 3 hours just talking, never kissed, nothing sexual. Just talked, and my opinion started to really change.
We have hung out a few more times, and still nothing has happened yet. She asked if I wanted to kiss her and I just told her I did, I just hadn't yet. I've told her that this is still really weird for me, and that I just want to be friends for now but she seems to be pushing for more and I'm running out of reasons why not to.
She seems really mature for her age. Other than a few stupid things she does like being loud and obnoxious is public, and driving aggressively. She just graduated so I can still sense that feeling of "fuck yeah I'm an adult now I can do whatever I want now" in her. But I'm pretty sure that's normal for someone that age, I know I did.
That's really the only reason I can think of against this, because everything else has gone fine. So yeah, I guess that's it I'm just not really sure what to do. All my friends have said not to date her, but other than saying "it's just a bad idea" or something I never get any good reason why. If you told me 3 months ago that this would be happening I would of called you crazy, but the more I talk to this girl the less it seems to matter. If this is really as stupid as people say it is, give me a reason why. | Talking to a 17 year old, just friends for now but she seems to want more. Not sure what to do and running out of reasons why not to. |
t3_4s4c4h | relationships | I [16F] don't know what to do with my best friend [18F] when she 'avoids' me with her boyfriend | Alright Reddit, this one is a bit of a doozy.
I love my best friend like a sister. She treated me like a sister ever since I met her. Now she is really making me stressed.
Recently she and her boyfriend got into an argument over what girl he was talking to on Snapchat. They sat in the car for over 2 hours trying to resolve things. I know I sound really selfish, but I **rarely get to see her without him. Now this has made me really aggravated and kind of stressed out for a week. I don't care much for her boyfriend. He's an okay guy, but kinda dumb.
Tonight she and her boyfriend showed up late to my sister's graduation party. They waited to come until later because she had the same date for her graduation party and had to wait for her grandparents and relatives to leave. The first thing they did when they got here was sit in the hot tub.
I thought "Okay, if she doesn't swim in 5 minutes I'm leaving" It might sound unreasonable to some people, but she **always sits in the hot tub for the whole time. She texted me that she was gonna swim this time. I left after 5 minutes, and she never asked why or said anything to me the whole night.
I decided to keep my distance from her. She and her boyfriend were still sitting in the hot tub even after everyone went inside to watch some movies. They have been sitting in the hot tub on and off for hours now. Staying down there not even communicating with me.
The part that's making me so stressed out is the fact that she came over to **my house and she only wants to sit with her boyfriend. It's not like they don't ever get time to see each other. He drives her every time she goes to work or needs a ride from a friends house.
I just hate how they need to start seeing each other when they are hanging out on (again) **my time and she doesn't even notice how much it affects me | My best friend is unintentionally avoiding me with her boyfriend when I ask her to hangout with me, and I'm getting stressed out over it. |
t3_2nu2g1 | relationship_advice | Me [20 M] and My gf [20 F] for last than 1yr, broke up wf me 3 months ago, I just cant let go of her, what can i do to win her back ? | We were tgt for last than a yr.We used to love each other so much.I always thought she s the one.We were tgt most of the times in college, but then LDRs... She said that she gets tired and it has got nothing to do wf LDRs, said that she has changed.She told me its time to let go. I just dont understand why... I would do anything to win her back, I told her I can wait for her no matter how long but she rejected me immediately. Need. Should I wait for her ? Should I move on ? I think it is impossible for me to move on, I think of her everyday even though it hurts a lot. How to win her back ?.Need advice and chat buddies. | What should I do now ?feeling lost and helpless. I would do anything to win her back. It is impossible for me to forget about her. |
t3_1lmfaj | relationships | So, I [23M] have a kid, and I haven't told the girl [22F] I've been seeing. What is the move now? | Wasn't looking for a relationship, but I've found myself in one. I'm a first year med student, and a girl from my class and I have hit it off. We've been here for about a month, and we hooked up the first week and have been seeing each other regularly since then. She is an awfully cool girl, and really into me too. I like her a lot as well, and the relationship is very easy and a lot of fun.
The issue is that I haven't been totally upfront with her about everything. I have a young son from a very flawed relationship that I was in last year. I'm not overly involved in day to day activities and live relatively far from my son (if this sounds at all familiar, its because I did post here via a now deleted account in the past). I'm not proud of being a father. It sounds awful, but it is what it is.
I made the decision not to tell classmates because I didn't want my reputation clouded, but now I'm in a bind. I really like this girl, and she has been nothing but awesome to me, and I feel like she is owed the truth. I'm afraid of scaring her away, and I'm afraid of her sharing this with everyone we know if things go awry. I don't want to end things either though, but I'm very uncomfortable with sharing this. | Didn't tell the girl I've been seeing that I have a son. Probably should tell her, but I'm worried. Any advice on how to approach the conversation? |
t3_4rlchs | relationships | I [19 M] have just been rejected for the seventh time in a row. Don't know what to do anymore. | Hello Reddit, first time posting here.
Today I have been rejected for the seventh time in a row. It has been over four years since I've felt myself happy with someone else. I have only been in one serious relationship in my life, we went on for six months but we ended up breaking out quite nicely.
Since then I've been rejected by girls in which we were in any tipe of relationship: Random crushes, friends, friends with benefits, friends with whom I had only kissed once, etc.
The only exception is a girl I've met that we went out in some dates for a month, but then I've started falling in love with her and started to take the relationship more seriously... but she broke up with me to return with her ex. This girl was my first and only time so far...
I'm writing here because today was the seventh rejection, this time with a friend of some months. We made out in a small party in secret, I've asked her out some days later, but she said no.
During these four years my willpower went up and down like a rollercoaster almost daily. I think myself as an average looking guy, relatively outgoing and I try to look confident in the outside but feel like shit often on the inside.
I don't have that much problem kissing a random girl in a party or something like that, but I'm just cursed when it comes to going out with someone I care.
I really don't know what to do with this, I'm probably making a big deal out of something stupid. I am trying to workout regularly and learn german to keep my mind busy, but I'm having breakdowns often. What do you think that I should do? | I've been in only one serious relationship four years ago in my life and today its my seventh rejection in a row. I don't know how to overcome this awful streak and move on. What should I do? |
t3_1oh9r0 | relationships | [Serious] Advice from women who have dated/are dating a Marine? | I am a 20 year old female, and I recently got back in touch with a close high school friend of mine. Turns out, he is now a Sergeant in the Marine Corps, and is currently in deployed in the Middle East and is due to return home at the end of this year.
We've been talking back and forth when we're able to, and have both acknowledged a desire for a relationship when he finally returns from his deployment. He and I both have also acknowledged that we miss one another, and he says he is just as excited to see me as I am to see him.
The only thing I'm nervous about is the fact that I've never been in a relationship with anyone in the military before. So my question is this: I know and understand that military relationships are very difficult to be in, but other than the obvious (the deployments, the potential for PTSD, and other obvious circumstances), what is it like having a Marine as a significant other, and do they make "good boyfriends"? Does their sense of honor and pride carry over into their personal relationships? What kind of arguments do you have with them, and how do they argue? If he and I can make something work, how will him being a Marine change the dynamic of the relationship? I'm talking about everything from simply talking to one another to having date nights to having sex. What can I expect from having a relationship with a Marine? | I may soon start a relationship with a Marine Sergeant. Other than the obvious, what is being with a Marine like? |
t3_2rfxot | Advice | Diagnosed Bi-Polar, Very Social, Dream Oppurtunity Came Up and I Took It, Nervous About Being Alone. | After suffering from depression for 5 months, and being put on the wrong medication I finally got help and was put on the right medication and things are going up, however there are still downs, and the fact I recently broke up with my first girlfriend doesnt help.
Ever since highschool I wanted to be a ski bum for a semester, after working weekends at a ski mountian I was offered a full tieme job and took it. I am very excited but also very nervous.
My college town, or ex college town, will only be forty minutes away but after an incident with the girlfriend I dont really want to travel there. Most of the pople who work at the mountian are older than me, im only 19. How can I cope with weeknights alone here and there. My friends will visit but im nervous about being alone 4 nights a week, im very social. There are always poeple on the mountain but agauin im much younger than the week crowd. | Going to be alone 4 nights a week, worried about my downs when alone, how can I cope with being alone. |
t3_4xqxf3 | relationships | I (26/m) had been dating a bisexual (29/f) for about 10 months. She became distant and then said she can't stand the thought of men and might be gay. Since then she has blocked me out and been seeing her ex girlfriend. | What do i do?
I have been dating a girl for about 10 months who is bi. She became distant about a month and half ago and found out she's been hanging with her ex girlfriend. Then one night she said she thinks she may be gay and can't stand the idea of a man right now. Then i found out she kept hanging with her ex more and more. I confronted her and she said that it's nothing but for the past 2 months she has talked to me less and less to the point now where she has completely blocked me out. Before this time our relationship was great, we were talking about meeting each others families etc. I love her, i really do. But right now her actions speak louder than words. She told me this stuff about a month and half ago and hasn't really spoken to me since.
Do i just move on? Do you think it's a phase and she's figuring herself out? idk. | Dating bi girl for almost a year. Became distant, said she might be gay. Then began seeing her ex girlfriend and shut me out. Not sure what to do. |
t3_28tdb2 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my SO [28 M] in a LDR. He comes to town, gets drunk, cheats. Should I forgive? | **Brief background:** My boyfriend and I finally got together after three years of running in the same circles, but never being available to each other. I had a life threatening injury in January and he really stepped up trying to help me get better while I was in the hospital. It led to us finally getting together-- even though he lives across the country.
**Issue:** He finally was able to come to town for a week-long visit. I was thrilled, and it was going well. However, this last part of the trip was a wedding that we were both at. He got remarkably drunk (which he doesn't often do) and ended up dancing and kissing a girl he has minor history with. I was there and witnessed it, and drunk bf insisted that our relationship was not defined enough to prevent this type of thing since we usually are so far apart, though we definitely had discussed being exclusive.
I refused to go back to the hotel room with him and drove home instead. Apparently she went back to the room with him, but nothing happened. When he woke up this morning, he immediately texted to apologize and said he'd been an idiot. He said he knows that being drunk is not an excuse, but that he honestly didn't really remember everything.
I let him came over to pick up the rest of his stuff this morning, and he's staying elsewhere tonight and flying out tomorrow morning. He wants me to not throw in the towel. Try to forgive and give him a second chance.
I believe that being drunk played a major part and that this isn't normal to him and his behavior. But I don't want to get into a situation where this is the precedent for behavior. I've played that game before-- and it ended badly for me. This brought back up all those old trust issue thoughts I haven't had for a long time. How likely is it that we can really get past this? How can I really trust this won't happen again? Is it even a good idea to give it a chance? | LDR cheated (only kissing and fondling, but still cheating) while drunk, and now wants forgiveness and promises exclusivity. Does forgiving someone for cheating when drunk set a bad precedent? Can you get past it? |
t3_42p2g4 | relationships | Me [32 F] has a best friend [36 M] for 4 years, but why aren't I attracted to him? | I'm a single, attractive and successful woman. He's single, attractive and successful. As a best friend he is amazing, literally everything you would want in a husband.
When I am sick, he is there. When I am sad, he cheers me up. We can hang out for hours and have the same sense of humor.
One problem is that our families hate each other, so if we were together they would probably turn the whole thing into a Shakespearen ordeal.
Still - he's the first person I want to talk to when something goes great or if something is horrible. I miss him when he's not around, and I doubt any man I would find could match him in looks, personality, generosity or humor.
And I know how difficult it is to date, even though I'm in NYC. I actually dread the idea of dating because most guys are total assess. Life would be great if I were attracted to him, but I don't know why I'm not.
I convinced myself that I don't want to screw up the friendship, but that's not it. I just don't want to be that textbook sad case of someone who can't be attracted to a person who is good to me or who wants me (I'm pretty sure he would say yes). Help! | Is it possible to be with someone who is amazing and attractive but you're not attracted to, or to learn to become attracted to them? |
t3_2vezx2 | relationships | Me [29F] with my boyfriend [29M] of 6 months, he masturbates to his ex girlfriends Facebook pictures :/ | I love my boyfriend very much. We have open and honest communication. We have a lot of fun together, and we also have a great sex life - once a day, at least.
So I know my boyfriend is a frequent masturbater. This is fine, and doesn't bother me, as it doesn't get in the way of our sex life.
Buttttt....
We have been thinking about getting a dog. Recently he mentioned that he commented on a friends photo of a dog she's giving away. We have each other's fb passwords, so I logged on to see the photo. When I went to activity log to find the comment, I saw fairly frequent searches for his ex gf. Bleh. Then, the other night he went to "poop" (aka masturbate) and he searched for her, and remained on fb throughout the time he was in the bathroom. This happened again about a week later. So, yeah, he's masturbating to her. Ughhh.
He was with his ex girlfriend for like 3 years, and they broke up about 2 years ago. They hooked up in like January of 2014, but that was the last time. We met over the summer.
A couple of months ago she called him and left him a long voicemail about how she wanted to talk, missed him etc. He told me immediately, and texted her that he was in a new relationship with someone he cares deeply about, and that there was nothing to gain from talking. She texted back trying to convince him to talk to her, but he refused, and ended the convo. As far as I know, that's the last communication they've had.
I just feel weird about the fact that he's masturbating to her. But at the same time, I also feel like it could be completely harmless as I understand the fantasy vs reality thing. I don't want to say anything about it if it's completely harmless. I'm just confused and I think I need some male perspective on this. | Should I be concerned about my boyfriend masturbating fairly often to pictures of his ex girlfriend on Facebook? Do I say something? |
t3_2ozei4 | relationships | I found sex toys from my gf's previous relationships in her bedroom. This is weird to me? | So the other day my gf[24] asked me[25] to help her find a blank check she was missing. I started looking around her room and I opened her top dresser drawersand I found a pair of fuzzy handcuffs and a teddy lingerie piece. We've been dating for 3 months and things are exclusive and serious- but we've never used any toys so far. I have bought some kinky toys for my previous girlfriends but I've thrown them away after those relationships ended... why would I keep them? Those items are something intimate me and another girl shared... not something to bring into a new relationship.
To me, its really likely an ex bought these for her. And its also safe to say that her and her previous boyfriend used these with her.
My question is why would my gf still have these items and in such a easily accessible place? I dont suspect cheating because I have no evidence that would even suggest it to me so far.
She doesnt know I found them and I dont have a good reason to ask her about personal items in her own bedroom. Thats an invasion of privacy to me to bring it up at this point but she did ask me to search in her room.
What should I say if she tries to use them while we're having sex sometime? Shouldn't she get rid of these since they're just cheap toys and part of a previous relationship? | Found sex toys and lingerie from gf's previous relationship. I thi nk its weird she still has these in such an easily accessible place. Should I say something or leave it alone? |
t3_3420rl | legaladvice | Fake ID and MIP. Don't qualify for public defender and can't afford attorney. | This past weekend I purchased a box of wine from a local liquor store using a fake ID. When I walked out of the liquor store I was immediately stopped by two non-uniformed cops who asked me how old I was. I admitted I was 20 and they charged me with an MIP and possession of a fake ID. Today I went to the municipal court hoping to find out what my fines would be and learned that the fake ID charge requires a court appearance and I can't simply pay a fine for it. I asked if I could meet with a public defender and was told I don't qualify for one since I'm not facing jail time. I immediately called a few lawyers listed on Google and the cheapest quote I was given was $1500, which I can't possibly afford as a full time student. I'm feeling pretty stuck and would like any available help. I live in Oklahoma and my violation codes are 15-304 (MIP) and 20-702 (fake ID). Thank you for any help or advice you can give! | Got a MIP and fake ID charge. Have to appear before a judge but don't qualify for a public defender and can't afford attorney fees. |
t3_tnwgq | legaladvice | Thanks to my employers poor facility maintenance practices I ended up with a concussion. Please help. | As I was preparing to leave work yesterday I was closing the gate to one of the receiving bay doors. It's a roll up gate door that works on a chain / pulley system and as I was closing it the pulley (consisting of a 20 pound cast iron gear, smaller gear, chain housing and the chain itself) came crashing down on the top of my head. After all was said and done I left the hospital with 5 staples and an Inch and a half laceration to the soft spot of my head. Somehow my skull didn't fracture and the doctor sent me home the same day. I'm going back into the hospital in the morning to work on getting my head checked out because I dont feel right. I dont know if thats part of the healing process because nothing like this has ever happened to me, but I do know that brain injuries are a very mysterious thing. The real question i have for you is whether or not I should file a lawsuit against my store on the grounds of Employer Safety Negligence. I don't mean to seem like I'm some asshole that's out to get rich but I also know that this could have been avoided and could have been much worse. I am very lucky to have come out of this like I did but I don't like the fact that my employer is going to go unscathed. The 'reactive not proactive' approach that most employers seem to have shouldn't exist and I'm wondering whether or not to seek justice for what happened. | I got a concussion at work due to faulty equipment, simply put it could and should have been avoided, do I file a lawsuit? |
t3_1n6wa3 | relationships | Me [18M]I dont know if i can cope with my current girlfriends past. [18F] | So..
My girlfriend and i have nearly been together for 3 months, i love her. I do. But honestly when im alone, i always think things through. My girlfriend has a past with her sort off being "wild".
I live in Denmark, and the cultural difference from America and here is huge. Basicly we start clubbing when we are 16 years old. So all that jazz is going on really early here in Denmark.
My girlfriend has had sex with, me her ex, and apparently a co-worker whos 10 years older than her. (recently found out about this), and whenever im alone and not with her. Im sorta always thinking about this, i can never get it outta my head and it has become a serious problem. To the point where i'm afraid that if i dont have sex with her enough and such, she'll instantly cheat on me, or do something. And im really scared if this will happen.
She also lied about having sex with her co-worker, (she told me she only had sex with me and her ex. But when i found out about the co-worker she confessed, she told me it was a mistake etc..)
I just really dont know what the fuck is going on with me, she talks about him rarely, the most recent she was talking about his hairy back with some girl who apparantly also banged him.
Am i overthinking this? Should i just calm the fuck down, and see what happens or what..
I would love some insight, or just anything that can help me get my mind off this. Cause honestly it's eating me from the inside out. And i have the feeling i'll just explode at some point.. | Girlfriend problems, ex'es and whatnot, if you only read this, i dont know if your voice matters, but anything is okay... |
t3_41uo39 | Advice | How to deal when you've messed up big time and are awaiting the consequences? | I have made a HUGE mistake that will likely have big repercussions in my life. I am in graduate school and failed a class last year, which meant I had to retake it this semester and graduate a year later. The first assignment of the class was due this morning online, but I somehow completely forgot to do it and never saw the reminders I set for myself. This assignment is worth a ridiculous amount of points--like 70% of the grade in the class--so not completing it means I will fail the class again and be kicked out of the program.
I e-mailed my professor as soon as I realized (about 20 minutes after the assignment closed) asking if I could please be allowed to do the assignment, but I haven't heard back from them yet. I am on the verge of having a panic attack, but I have to keep my shit together because I am going to a professional conference today.
I realize that I probably already used up all of my goodwill with this professor when I failed the class last spring, and I feel that it is unlikely that another exception will be made for me. I am facing the prospect of failing out of my program for such a STUPID mistake on my part, and it is making feel absolutely hopeless and helpless. | I made a huge mistake that could alter the course of my life forever, and I need help figuring out how to deal with not knowing what will happen, and/or the consequences when I do find out. |
t3_1hpn9p | AskReddit | if you found out gm crops could change third world hunger, would you support it? | All of Reddit seems to be against GM crops, the posts about it that are made get buried. IF it were possible that GM crops could: solve third world hunger by allowing people to grow crops that use less water, have a higher yield, are resistant to drought, disease with increased nutritional value, would you be prepared to give a one time £5/$5 donation to fund research specifically designed to make gm crops that are easy to grow in the climates of the third world.
Now consider that the Nuffield council has found that gm crops can provide all of these things
And consider that up to 1 billion people are starving, and this could possibly be solved by gm crops
It is irresponsible not to investigate this as much as possible, Reddit, if there were a charity researching gm crops for the third world would you donate them money? | Wake up Reddit and the world, GM crops can and will save literally millions of people's lives. stop this anti-GM slander, make it happen through charity not business. |
t3_52yx4w | relationships | Me [21F] with my BF [22M] of 1 month, can't stop thinking about ex during sex? | I was in a 3-year long relationship before this boyfriend. I've only had these two partners in my life.
To preface: I find my current boyfriend to be a better match for me in basically every conceivable way. He's way more enthusiastic and caring and passionate etc etc.
We've started having sex recently and I'm really enjoying myself, but I find that I keep thinking about my ex while we're doing the do. Thing is, it's always definitely a *favourable* comparison (new beau is definitely better in bed). It's not like I'm thinking stuff like "man, I wish ex was here", it's more along the lines of "oh wow, ex never did that, this feels much better ... "
I'm over the last guy (it's been over a year) and don't really think about him at all outside of this context. Is this normal? Is it just because I've only been with two people? How do I stop? | Started having sex with new boyfriend but find myself often thinking of my ex. It's never pining, always just comparisons (favourable to the new bf). Is this normal? How do I stop? |
t3_1kx0xy | offmychest | Can somebody please explain... | ... why in the absolute FUCK teachers feel they need to mash people together and force them to talk to each other?
"You need group working skills!" Um, do you even pay attention to what happens in your classroom during group work? The one awkward, smart kid does all the work while everybody else talks about football, drugs, underage drinking, sex, and other similar topics. "There's different hand writing!" The smart kid told them what to write.
"You have to be more comfortable with people!" People are what made me *un*comfortable in the first place!
"Because I said so!" Seriously? Do you think you're talking to a two year old? Does a two year old even find that to be an acceptable answer?
"You need to learn to trust people!" Then why are you making me work with these idiots?
Also, why in the fuck do you see two people who are OBVIOUSLY dating, and then make them sit on separate sides of the classroom? "You get to see them during break and lunch and passing period!" Um. No, I do not, in fact, get to see my boyfriend during lunch and break and passing period. He's busy, I'm busy. I have shit to do, he has shit to do. This is the ONE class that we have together, and now we can't even talk to each other because heaven fucking forbid we sit next to each other.
"You wouldn't make an effective team." Um, excuse me? Then why are we dating in the first place? Who are you to make that call? I actually find that rather insulting that you think I can't choose a partner who is good for me.
I love teachers, I think they're amazing and brave people. The older and wiser crap will go through one ear and right out the other. I need some sort of logical explanation for this, at least what I find to be, ridiculous need to force people to work together. | Teachers, my shell is a very nice and comfy place and I would much rather stay in it than meet new people, so why do you force me to be near people I don't even know the name of? |
t3_2wgnfp | tifu | TIFU by clapping | I was in school, We got out for our lunch break, I was talking with my friends and one "let's call him B" of them went to talk with his Gf < not sure he says she is only a "friend".
I didn't notice him, then my other friend told me:" Look at B, he is like in love".. I told him:" Good for him, Bravo" and clapped twice to sarcastically show my friend <not b> that i don't give a fuck.
then 3 seconds later, the WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL started clapping, and she leaves him and i get blamed, He didn't speak with me since and he tried to hit me when we were on our way out from school but our friends stopped him.
so now, some of my friends could talk to him, he told them he will kick my ass tomorrow, some of my friends are telling me not to go to school tomorrow.
Must be fucking fun tomorrow. | clapped on lunch break sarcastically, will get my ass kicked tomorrow for it. |
t3_2m80qg | relationship_advice | [18/m] not feeling wanted by [18/f] gf | We've been dating for a little over a year and a half. We go to different schools and she does competitive gymnastics so she is out of town or at practice a ton. Usually we see each other once every one or two weeks. When we're together, I feel very loved and wanted.
When we are not together, especially if it's been a while since we've hung out, I start to feel unwanted. As the time since we last saw each other increases, she ignores my texts and calls more and more frequently, and when we do text or call, she can seem very distant or bored.
Four weeks ago was our 18 month anniversary. I was going to take her out to a nice dinner, and we had planned it a week in advance. The day before, she cancelled saying "she had too much work". I understood, and we rescheduled for the next week. She cancelled again, this time because "she was too tired". Again, we rescheduled for the next week, and for the third time, she cancelled because "she felt like going to sleep early". We are supposed to see each other tomorrow, but she doesn't seem very excited.
I'm worried. I don't want to leave her and I love her very much. She says she loves me, and I believe her, but when we're apart and especially recently she just doesn't act like it. Is she losing interest in me/our relationship? Or am I reading too much into things? | [18/f] gf doesn't act very interested in [18/m] me when we're not hanging out, keeps cancelling for vague reasons, should I be worried? |
t3_2f06xz | relationships | I [21/F] found out my boyfriend [25/M] has been sending out messages on a dating app. | Hi r/relationships,
I found out yesterday that my boyfriend has been sending out messages "winking" at girls on the app Scout. He was showing me something on his phone a notification popped up saying that this girl messaged him on Scout. I later asked him about it, and he said oh yeah he had that app from a long time ago, and just still replies to some people. I asked if those conversations were platonic, and he said yes. I then asked if I could see his messages. He said ok. So I read through the messages on his phone, and see that he's sent out a bunch of "winks" at girls, some who were halfway across the world, but some who were close by (<40 miles).
I'm upset, because something like this has happened before, where I found out that he was on a dating site, after we had made it an exclusive relationship. He's since deleted that account, and had apologized profusely.
The messages that he sent on Scout were not sexual or anything, and his defense was that the messages hardly took any effort -- that they were just "pokes" to see what would happen. But that he understood why I would be upset, and he can delete the app if I wanted. I say that it's not the app that's the problem, it's the desire to do that. I asked if he even wanted to be exclusive, and he said he did. I don't know if I do anymore. I mentioned taking it back a step, and to just go back to dating without any promises of exclusivity, and he said, "Will that hurt us? I don't think you would even enjoy a non exclusive relationship."
True, but I would rather be in a relationship where no promises are made, than to be in one with exclusive promises, only to be lied to. And if no promises are made, at least I can keep my options open to. Because when I say I'm exclusive, I am completely exclusive.
Sorry for the rant, and hopefully some of you guys read through the whole thing. Any advice and thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks guys. | I found out boyfriend of around six months has been using a "dating" app and has lied to me about it. |
t3_1fhonk | relationships | Issue with my [20m] girlfriend[18f] | I find it hard to put this on reddit, but i really don't know what to do. Hope you guys can assist me. Here goes.
I currently have a good relationship of 1,5 years with my girlfriend[18f]. We never fight, like mostly the same things and share a group of friends. Last week I went on holiday with her and it was great. This is just to give you guys some info on how our relationship is.
Today we were at a birthday party of a friend of hers, I was a little late and arrived sober, finding her very drunk at ~22.00hours. I felt kind of sick/dizzy so I decided to go home but she wanted to go to some club in Amsterdam (30min from where I live) and go out (mostly till 6-7 in the morning.)
problem: I told her I didn't like it when she goes out far that drunk. even though she was with a lot of people that I trust, including my best friend. When i told her she said she'll think about it, but three minutes later I heard her saying to somebody that she was going anyway and wanted to party all night long etc.
Anyway, before she left I told her I didn't like it but I won't forbid her to go. Ofcourse thats shitty to her. I know but its the truth. She went to Amsterdam anyway and suddenly i get a call from my best friend saying she's crying because of it. Even though i told her 1000 of times that im not mad, just don't like it. Now I feel guilty because I may have overreacted. What should i do? | my girlfriend went to a club drunk as hell even though I told her I didn't like it. A friend told me she was very upset and now I feel guilty |
t3_4p7t4n | relationships | I [23F] am moving out from my partner [23M] of 4 years, how do I break it to him? | I've finally had enough of living with my partner, he acts like a child and has tantrums when he doesn't get his way.
I've secured my dream apartment and signed the lease, I move in on the 1st of July. Do I tell him now and sleep on the couch for a week? Or wait until the day before to break it to him?
Even more confusing is that I know I still love him (but am not in love with him) so I can't decide if we should keep seeing each other/dating or if I should just make it a clean break.
Also we both sank about $5000 into our current apartment's furniture etc. Seeing how I won't be taking any of it with me, would it be fair to ask for compensation?
Thank you in advance! | Don't know how to break it off with my long term partner, need advice on when/how to do it! |
t3_24fqx7 | relationships | Please help me (19f) should I end a 12 year long friendship with my (20f) best friend? I just don't know.. | My friend and I have been best friends for like 12 years. Recently I've come too the realization that maybe hanging out with her isn't the best idea in order to get my shit together. Drugs used to be a huge issue for me and although I've told her i don't want to get back into that kinda thing, the temptation rolls over me whenever she keeps asking me "do you want some, it's only half!" Which led to me drinking and then buying a pack of smokes even though I just recently wanted to quit smoking. I caved. Is it my fault a bit? Probably yes. Just to add in, I do work and go too school full time. I've been trying to get healthy while she doesn't go to school and doesn't have a job.
Do I limit my time with her? I really would hate to lose my only best-friend because she has always been there for me like no one else has especially when she was the only friend who cared enough to visit me in the hospital when I overdosed a few years ago(back when she hated drugs) | feel that bestfried is negatively impacting me, should I cut ties, or remain close enough friends and limit the times we spend together? |
t3_mmyi3 | AskReddit | My friend's son is stealing her credit cards and maxing them out. What can we do? | My friend's son is 13 years old, and has been stealing her credit cards for the past year. He has maxed out both of her credit cards on online-gaming and other things online. He's been sat down and talked to, yelled at, and I think was even slapped once, but he still does it. He has gotten his computer taken away from him, but was able to log onto others to buy more and more games. Recently, he was acting a bit better, and was rewarded an hour on the computer. Within that hour he spent $175, but this time used my friend's debit card. This has gotten completely out of hand, but we don't know what to do. My friend has done everything from grounding him to physically taking away his computer to yelling at him for hours. I suggested having one of my police friends doing a 'scare-'em-straight' thing, but she politely declined, most likely not wanting to air her dirty laundry. I am very concerned for her family, and I love them like they are my own. She is a single mother with a teacher's salary, four children between the ages of 16 to 2, four cats to take care of, a father who only pays the bare minimum in child support, and now she is having to deal with the ginormous amount of debt that her teenage son has caused her. She really doesn't want to call the police on him, but I don't know of any other way to solve this problem. Any advice would be helpful, thank you. | Friend's teenage son buried her in debt. Lives on crappy teacher's salary with four kids and four cats. Been going on for months. wat do? |
t3_53v0ew | relationships | I [25 F] am really happy with my relationship with my SO [19 F], but am not sure if I'm being irresponsible by being with her. | We'll call her Emmie. We met/became fast friends when she was 17 and I was 23, and got closer over the next two years. At first it was definitely somewhere between a mentor/friend role, but over time it developed into a genuine friendship, especially post high-school.
We've always been extremely compatible, but we were both in long term relationships. This past summer, both single and back at our shared summer job, we got together fairly quickly and it's been pretty much smooth sailing since then. At first I was really worried about what our mutual friends would think, but everyone that knows us says it makes sense.
Obviously it's easier to live in a bubble during the summer, and she's back at college now and I'm back at work in the city. It's still felt/feels like a healthy and happy thing for both of us though - we're both good at communicating, and have talked about all aspects of this. My biggest concern, which I've voiced to her, is that I'm preventing her from enjoying all the fun, formative experiences in college (like having that random drunken hookup, etc). And we've both given each other permission to have fun within limits. We're both pretty entertained by any random drunk make-out stories, etc. She's very mature (I've never dated anyone younger than myself so this is really new for me), and I want to take her at her word, but I also don't want to be the irresponsible adult who should know enough to walk away and let her have a 100% normal college experience. What do you guys think? | I'm 25, SO is 19, things have been great but I'm worried she'll miss out because of me. |
t3_u7r4e | AskReddit | Help! How do I convince a friend that life is worth living? | Bit of a dramatic title, sorry, but it was the best way I could think to phrase it.
Anyway here's the story, a close friend of mine is not happy with their life. Her family barely survives on alternating minimum wage and unemployment checks, her father is an alcoholic and an abusive man, her mother doesn't care enough, and she's become generally disenchanted with living. She's failing classes but is more than intelligent enough to do well. She's religious, however, and feels that there may be a better life awaiting her after death. Being agnostic, I don't share these sentiments, which is besides the point, but I'm trying to convince her that she should enjoy what she has.
The positives: she owns two horses, which is her passion in life, and affords them by working long hours. She has a long distance boyfriend and a few very close friendships, including mine. But yeah, basically a lot of reasons to be happy! | From someone who has had experience feeling down on life and helpless about it, what did you want to hear to get you back on your feet? |
t3_3hysep | relationships | My 8 year long GF [28F] and recently turned fiancée suddenly started giving Me [28M] the cold shoulder. | 2 Sundays ago, we got into an argument over sex. It escalated into me throwing everything that I have been keeping to myself at her that night, I even started questioning her if she wanted to be single again.
Fast forward to Saturday, she "suddenly" stopped picking up my calls. After calling everyone in the world, I finally figured out that she did not bring her phone with her, which is very unusual. She told me that she was hanging out with a friend (which i tried calling but she did not pick up) and i confronted her about it.
She proceeded to explode and lashed out at me saying that the only reason why I felt the relationship was working is because she has been compromising everything in order to make me happy. Then, she said we were done talking and will call when she feels like talking to me again.
It has been a week since I last heard of her.
I have to admit, I am not the greatest boyfriend in the world. Riddled with self-esteem and insecurity issues, I tend to overreact to certain touchy topics. I get very possessive when she spends every day with her best friend even during the weekends. She on the other hand is relatively "chill" when it comes to relationships which always makes me wonder if she was truly into me.
This cold-shoulder treatment that I am getting is driving me insane. I do not know if she really needed a break or she wants to breakup. | GF of 8 years decided to cold-shoulder me, I am at a lost on how to react to this situation. |
t3_fwynk | relationships | chronic cheater here... just waiting for the first time i'm gonna slip with new bf, advice? | i'm 24 female and i've never not cheated on a boyfriend.
i was in love when i was young, high school sweathearts, dated for 5 years; 4 years long distance, once college hit. I cheated on him multiple times with a couple different people - he never found out. Yet I honestly loved him more than I've loved anything/anyone still.
I've been single the past 3 years but have 'dated' two or three guys but ALWAYS have cheated on them too. we were exclusive for a few months at a time yet I always went out looking for other guys.
I recently just met my new boyfriend and we were hooking up for a month or two before we became super exclusive (jan 2011) I was just ending a casual f-buddy relationship with my neighbor that had been going on for 8 months but didn't tell my soon to be boyfriend when he asked. I'd still go out and need other boys attention and drove us to broke up but then it clicked! that I wanted to be with this one and i've felt like i've been changed in the past month, don't need other boys' attention or want to cheat on him
...but, it's only been a month and a half. Sometimes i feel my mind wander in the future towards 6 months (usually every 5-6 months i'd cheat on my old bf) and i'm just nervous i'm going to just be a chronic cheater my whole life. anyone get me? ways to break the cycle? | I've cheated on every boyfriend i've had, I don't want to cheat on my new boyfriend but nervous i'll never be able to not. HELP me break the cycle! |
t3_2td43p | relationships | Me [24F] with my [25 M] 3years, my anger is causing our relationship problems | Hello,
I decided to post on here after receiving some very helpful and much needed support from r/RBN. (My childhood was bad.) BF and I are both from abusive childhoods and have had some relationship upheavals.
I'm suffering from some serious anger issues because of our living situation (having to live with my parents), from his behavior, and from my own. We do not have any options right now to move out until I am done with school, I will be finishing before he does.
I'm scared of taking out my anger on him- who sometimes is the issue, and when he is we can solve. When he's not the issue, such as applying to a job and being rejected again (nearing close to 60 job applications) that I can't sustain my self any more.
I'm having a bit of an existential crisis at this point and last night I broke down after my entrance to a medical program through our HMO got pushed back by 3 weeks because my doctor decided to no-show after her office forced me to reschedule. The only next available appointment would be Feb 11. This program is going to be life changing, and because of personal reasons I would prefer not to go into it here, but it does not involve anger management. I've been trying to join for close to 4-months now with my BF, but of course his appointment is not changed, and he will be able to join on time.
However, I did not do a typical behavior I've done before, which is to simply drop the whole thing and wash my hands of it. I felt a bit proud of my self for not giving in to this old coping mechanism, but also incredibly frustrated because now I actually have to deal with these feelings of anger, frustration, and depression.
I've looked into counselling- my university options are sparse and my doctor doesn't have anything she can recommend me to unless I'm willing to be a bit more open with certain issues in my life.
Is this too vague? I've never posted here before- I'll edit this post as needed. Thank you for reading. | Continuous problems dealing with job rejection, program postponement, and living at home with abusive parents have caused me to have serious anger issues that are coming out with my BF. I need some coping mechanisms and just general guidance. |
t3_1pnyx5 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] 4.5 years, said he can't see us getting married? | So after being together so long, I thought maybe we should start talking about the future. I saw myself spending the rest of my life with my boyfriend and so I brought up about the future to him.
I found out that he doesn't see us getting married. I'm confused about this and I don't know if I should stay. A couple people told me that he's only 25, he hasn't figured his life out yet so he probably didn't put much thought into it. Other people told me that if he knows he's not going to marry me, just end it now.
Has anyone else ever experienced this? If so, I'd like advice :( | boyfriend said he doesn't see us getting married. Don't know if I should just leave or should I wait and maybe hope he would change his mind? |
t3_gjl1y | relationship_advice | My best friend is dating a cunt | Best friend:
* known him since the beginning of college
* one and only friend at this point
* my business partner
* owe him a lot for helping me through some tough times
Cunt:
* know her since the beginning of high school
* used to (and possibly still does) have a crush on me
* enjoys making me miserable
* is only dating him to get to me
* has sabotaged many of my relationships and has "poisoned the well" (told many girls that I'm a womanizer, jerk, etc)
* is a cunt
At this point, it's facebook-official, and when I saw it on my feed, I have to admit I almost vomited a little. My hatred for her is enough that I've considered ending my friendship with my best friend if he does not leave her. As my business partner, this relationship has had a bad result on his productivity, and he is no longer interested in socializing with the friends that he's had prior to this relationship. | Is it fair of me to voice my opinions on who my friends date? And is it right to end the friendship if he does not end his relationship? |
t3_168f0r | relationships | Am I [19m] wrong in thinking that my girlfriend[18f] showed a complete lack of respect to me? | Background isn't really needed but we've been dating for about a year.
Anyway, I invited her to dinner with my family at an agreed time of 6:00 p.m.
She said she would be dressed and ready for pickup at her house when I got there, but she would be hanging out with friends in the meantime. We had this conversation at around 1:30 in the afternoon.
I arrived at her house at 6 and knocked on the door, said hi to her parents and made small talk while I waited for her. Funny thing is, when I asked her parents if she was here they thought she was, but when they went to look for her, she wasn't.
Then I get a phone-call from her asking if I can pick her up at her friends house because she is "too tired" from their bike ride. Oh and, she wants to know if my car has enough room to fit her bike.
I feel extremely embarrassed in front of her parents and just tell her that I'll be right there. I end up just picking her up, dropping the bike off at her house, and proceed to be ticked off the rest of the night. And no, she didn't shower or change clothes for the dinner, granted it was at my house.
I end up being in a foul mood for most of the night, and it kinda just puts a damper on everything. I did start to open up after dinner though, and we watched a funny movie because I was tired of being pissed at her.
It still bothers my greatly, and I'm wondering if I should feel this strongly about it, or am I overreacting? | Told girlfriend to be ready for dinner with my family at 6. She instead, asked me to pick her up at a friends house and made me late to my own dinner. Is my lingering anger justified? |
t3_29fnd3 | needadvice | I need advice on what to do. | We had broken up 3days before our 5th month of dating. We started dating on January 7 this year. It's been more than a month but I try to not think about her but when it comes to night I always stay up and when I do fall asleep I only dream of her. She made me the happiness I had been in so long, I am a teen but this was my first year back in public school since 3rd grade, now I am in tenth grade and almost 17. I was curious if I should tell her how I feel or not or just let it be, I did hear a rumor that she got another boyfriend 2 weeks later after the break up. So women of reddit would you have liked to stay friends with your ex or have them not in your life anymore. We live very very close to each other so we're gonna see each other every now and then. I need advice. She was my first official girlfriend. She's 15 but, she told me why she broke up with me was that I didn't give her enough affection and love but I am slow and really didn't know just how much I loved her, I guess I am just bad at showing that. I really don't know what to do. I have been just listening to music everyday and finally got a job but just every night it gets me. | Gf broke up with me because I didn't give her enough affection. I feel really depressed, and don't know what to do. |
t3_104dpx | relationships | Long distance relationship advices? | So my gf (17) and I (m19) have been together for 9 months and we study 200 km away from each other. We've been through a semester like this by seeing ourselves at least one weekend out of two and calling often. But this semester is different as I got a job at my college football games which happen to be on Saturday nights and she made it into the volleyball team of her college and games take one of her Sundays every two or three weeks. I've got a car but I can't afford to spend 60$ of gas every weekend and she has no other transportation than the bus which is also a bit costly. Due to all of these factors, we get to see each other once or twice a month. This situation is not to bad for now since the semester just begun but I feel that going through a whole year like this might be tough.
I do not want to end this relationship and neither does she. I only want to know if anybody has any tips on how to make it less tough for both of us. We tried skype but don't like it much (plus my mic and cam are total crap). Don't tell me things like "watch porn" or "go to the strip club", it's not the sex that I miss as much as her presence. | I can't see my gf very often. How can I make it more livable when she's not there. |
t3_giblv | AskReddit | Dear reddit, I've fucked up and I need some advice. My life is in a dead end and I've got nothing going for me. How do I become awesome? | So here's what's up: Over the past five years my life has spiraled down the drain, and I've managed to lose most of my friends, become completely desillusionised with all the career choices I'm trained for, become convinced that all people are careless idiots (including myself), and now I've even lost my girlfriend and have nowhere to live. So, wohoo! >>
After some very overdue soul searching I've come to realize that I have no idea what I really want or what I should do with my life. At all. I'm just floating around aimlessly, feeling sorry for myself and waiting for something fantastic to happen, but bitterly realizing that if it actually did, I'd be too much of an idiot to recognize it.
I think my main problem is that I have no real interest or passion for anything. I have no driving force. No vision, goal or dream that I'd like to pursue.
My question to you, reddit, is how do I find that? How can I discover the magic in life? What should I do or try to find something that could start a fire inside of me?
I mean, what I really miss is to have fun, be awesome and respected for something real and constructive. As it is right now though, I have trouble seeing myself in any kind of specific role, and I really don't know what I would like to do. I am lost, and starting to become desperate.
Tell me, how did you discover your passion in life, and what is it? What would you recommend for someone in my miserable situation? | I'm in desperate need of a life. I need ideas for how to go from nothing to something. All suggestions appreciated. |
t3_4tjaj3 | relationships | I (29F) lost weight, having problems with boyfriend now (30M) | I've been slightly overweight for the past few years, partly due to a medical condition, partly due to medication, and partly due to just bad eating habits. Over the past 8 months, I've lost 45 pounds, and I look and feel GREAT. I love my body, and I love my life!
I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. He's never mentioned anything about me needing to lose weight or anything. He's always liked my body just the way it is.
Here's the thing: I've noticed now he's been very distant from me. Sex rarely happens. The affection is rare. I've never felt so good, and now I'm buying flirty lingerie and sexy outfits and all kinds of things to impress him. I love shopping for clothes now. I'm a trendy girl who can wear what everyone else is wearing this summer. I love going out with friends again. I'm living my life now. He seems so distant, I've tried to ask him just what's going on and he tells me everything is fine. I'm so happy with myself, and it seems like he's not happy with me anymore. We haven't had sex in over a month.
I feel like he doesn't love me anymore, and it's killing me because I'm in such a good headspace right now. I love him, but I feel like I need to let him go. He's starting to bring me down and I don't need this right now. | lost 45 pounds, boyfriend doesn't seem to love me anymore. What gives? Is it strictly my body? Is he not attracted to my new body anymore or is it just me in general? I can't figure it out. |
t3_54s4z8 | relationships | My [24f] boyfriend [26m] leaned out and I hate it. | Dating for close to three years now. My boyfriend has always been physically active, he's been lifting weights since he was a teenager, but he's always been a bit on the higher side of bodyfat percentage. He was never chubby or fat, but he lacked any sort of definition. He was strong, but and I liked it. To be honest - he wasn't my type at first, but then it really grew on me.
Now, in the last year, he has lost a TON of weight. He's still in incredibly shape, he's still strong, but he has gotten significantly smaller and it's making me feel uncomfortable. He has a very visibly defined sixpack, his arms got smaller and weirdest of all - his face really leaned out and got really weird looking. He's healthy and he's in shape, but I really don't like how he looks when he's this lean. His face used to be so warm and welcoming and "Full", now he looks like he's a drug addict, it's so gaunt looking.
I don't know what to do. I really dislike how he looks now but I don't know how to bring it up or what to say, or what to do. | Boyfriend "leaned out" and now his face looks weird and he's gotten a lot smaller and I really don't like it. |
t3_kj6b9 | AskReddit | How can I stop being afraid of the future/failure/succeeding? | Hi,
I am a 25 year old female. I am a highschool drop out, a university drop out, I can't seem to hold down a job without getting bored and quitting out of the blue, even though I do well with my work and have had fantastic and well paying jobs (despite my lack of formal education).
In the last 5 years, I've finally found something I actually stick to, and it is possibly that I have a good future in this.
I've decided to go back to school to pursue this, I've dropped a significant amount of money on it -- but I'm anxious as hell and feel as though I'm setting myself up for failure before I even start, given my track record.
It feels like I'm already making up my mind that it won't work out, and I'm finding excuses as to why. If it's not because people will hate me, there is probably something wrong with the school, the weather, method of transportation, etc.
I don't know why I do this to myself, and I'd really like to over come this.
I should be really excited about this, but I just have a bad feeling in the back of my head that something "bad" will happen, and that I should stop now and avoid that bad thing. | I treat myself like shit, I thwart my own opportunities for success, and I want to stop but don't know how. What do? |
t3_34rhf9 | relationships | Girlfriend [19F] says she's under a a lot of stress and isn't ready for a relationship with me [20M] | Around the begining of March, I heard from a few friends that this girl had feelings for me. I decided to go for it and ask her out, and she excitedly said yes. It was a very happy, fun-filled relationship, and we both really liked each other's company. However, around last week, she said she's been feeling stressed from her family suffering from illness, money problems, and her wanting to transfer to a different college by next year. She's been growing more and more distant from me, and I figured it's because she's working longer hours, and she's studying a lot more.
Yesterday, she gave me the news in person that she's been feeling so stressed that she didn't feel like she could be able to focus on me, as well as her schooling and work. I do not believe she is the type of person who would break up with me just to date someone else, and when I asked if we could get back together after taking a break, she said she wasn't sure.
So now, I'm a broken down mess, and I honestly don't know what I should be doing. I really want her back, but I also don't want to be selfish and force myself to be a part of her life. I need some guidance. | 2 college students in a relationship. The girl doesn't feel like she can be in a relationship with me because of stressful events in her life. I still want to date her, though. |
t3_2ql7oo | relationships | I [18M] told my crush [18F] how I felt and I'm not sure what to think of her response. | Before I get to the main problem, let me give a little background info. For the past few months I've really been interested in this girl that goes to my school. We have been friends for a couple years now but we were never too close. I told one of her friends that I was interested in her and she has been trying to help me out ever since. One day, however, my crush had my friends phone and found out that I liked her. She told my friend that she is busy with college applications but is not opposed to the idea of dating me.
So today I took my crush out and we had a great time. It was not really indicated as a date, I just asked her if she was busy and then picked her up. At the end of the day, I took her home and as she was leaving I told her I needed to ask her something. When she turned around, I said, "I'ts probably really obvious, but I like you. I know you are pretty busy now with applications, but I was wondering if you wanted to try dating?" Then I guess she tried coming up with an excuse and said "The problem is that i will be going to college on the east coast and we wouldn't be able to see each other." I replied by saying that we could always just have a good time with each other for the remainder of the year and not worry about what will happen later. Then she just said "well let's just hang out more and see where it goes from there."
Now Im just really confused. I don't know what she means and where to take it from here. Does it seem like she genuinely wants to see where it goes, or is it just an excuse because she doesn't have the heart to tell me the truth? I'd appreciate any advice on what I should do and comments on what you think of my situation. Thanks in advance! | Told girl I liked her and she replies by telling me we should hang out and see where it goes from there. I'm confused on what this means and I need advice on where to take it from here. |
t3_2wlqkn | relationships | A lot of girls have found me really attractive [20 M] but my gf [21 F] doesn't like my looks at all? | We were talking and she asked me if I asked her out because of her personality or her looks. I asked the same thing back and she said "personality". She pretty much preceded to tell me "You're not someone I saw myself going out with (looks wise)" among other things.
I mean she can be really dense with things like that and I am sure she wasn't trying to be hurtful, and quite frankly I felt confident enough about my looks not to be hurt by it (sometimes we just find completely different things attractive, right?). Hell come to think of it, from what I noticed all the guys my girlfriend has checked out (or that I seen) have been Asian, as have been the past guys shes been around. (I am not Asian).
So this only worries because
1. To some degree I feel like a physical connection is important, at least to me. I love looking at my girlfriend and thinking wonderful thoughts all around. I like making her feel better about herself, etc. I think it would be nice to have that returned to some degree. I don't know, I kind of want to go out with someone who likes my looks back. Is it dumb to care about that?
2. It feels a little weird to me noticing random girls actually being into me, but never getting that feeling from my girlfriend.
3. I heard of people, including posts here, where people have dated and ended up thinking "He/she is great and all, and even though I acknowledge he/she is attractive, I am just not feeling the spark, bla bla".
I know there's plenty of successful relationships without the physical attraction. This is my first actual relationship though so this really got me thinking as to what Id ultimately be happy with or not. | Girlfriend doesn't really dig me physically (a lot of other girls have) and I am not sure how to feel about it. |
t3_nk34n | AskReddit | I Won An Epic Slap-Bet. When/Where/HOW should I go about it? | Hello you beautiful *insert stricken word: trolls* people!
This is my first reddit post.
I have a best friend from childhood that always seems to bear the brunt of what-the-fuck-happened with me.
We shall call him B.
With that in mind, one night in drunken exhilaration B challenged me to an epic slap-bet. I won 3 Slaps through beer pong that night.
Since then he challenges me every chance he gets wanting an opportunity to win some back or win some of his own.
So far today's count is at 5.
I told him that I had reserved a couple slaps for the near future, and I have listed them below.
1. Wedding Toast *as his bestman
2. First Baby *in regards to the sex of the baby, B will be spanked or slapped
3. His Death Bed *while seemingly insensitive, we figured it was the manliest way to go out as bros
4. ?
5. ?
Any suggestions? | Continuously winning slap-bets, saved slaps for crucial moments, need ideas for every-day slappage. |
t3_uee97 | AskReddit | Can Reddit help me come up with a camp group name? | So, I'm going to be a counselor for a summer camp in a few weeks, and I need to come up with an interesting group name. The camp will be a week-long science-based camp culminating with the launch of a weather balloon. The other counselors and myself decided all of the group names should be something weather or climate related. The name also needs to include an adjective. For example, a boy named Tyler would name his group "Tyler's Tenacious Tornados." My name starts with M. I need help! Monsoon is the only thing that comes to mind, but I want something better. | I need a weather/climate word and adjective that start with M. Example: "Tyler's Tenacious Tornados" |
t3_2jzkyq | relationships | My [31F] husband [28M] does not like orally giving. | Pretty straight forward here: we've been married for 3 years, together for 4 1/2... he's never been very sexual. We were separated from June 2011-Nov 2013 because of immigration issues. In the very beginning stages of our relationship things were good and passionate but as time went on it fizzled, his excuse, "we have our entire lives together to have sex - I don't want to get bored of it."
I sincerely doubt he has a side chick (there's just no time, and he's not that kind of guy). Anyway, since he's been home for almost a year now, he's gone down on me all of 4 times. Says he hardly ever does it because he's lazy or because it makes his mouth hurt (well if you never do it, duh!). He's very honest so if it were personal hygiene on my part he'd tell me, plus, we only ever have the time to have sex after I've taken a shower and put the baby to bed.
How do I talk to him about this (lack of oral sex)? To be fair, I rarely go down on him but I do a lot more than he does, and I really don't mind doing it.. it's just by the time we get around to sex it's late and we're tired and like "ugh just get it over with." And also, we've become very shy around each other - like painfully shy in bed.. | husband has gone down on me all of 4 times in the past year. How do I get him to do it more? |
t3_2ycfgx | relationships | Me [22 M] and my gf [21 F] have been dating for 3 months, and I think I got her pregnant. Now she wants to breakup. What should I do to keep us together? | We had unprotected sex a month ago and now she's scared that she may be pregnant because her period has not yet happened. I told her that I would do anything to help her and our kid out if she decides to keep it but she got upset with me for some reason and told me that she doesn't like me or my personality and that we should have never started dating. I'm not sure if this is her true feelings coming out or if she is just angry she may possibly be pregnant. In any case I think its a good idea for us to stay together at least until we are absolutely sure she is pregnant or not. How do I convince her to not want to breakup? Should I just let her go? What she said was kinda screwed up and out of nowhere, especially since she always told me "I love you" so many times before | My girlfriend is angry over this pregnancy thing and i'm not entirely sure what I said to make her mad. I love her, so I want to keep dating if possible pretty much |
t3_mlxwx | personalfinance | Purchasing a house with partner - how do I protect myself? | Throwaway here, since the boyfriend is also a redditor.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and living together in the house that he owns for the past 1 1/2. To contribute, I pay him a monthly "rent" to help out with his mortgage and other bills. It's a very low amount compared to what most people in my area pay in living expenses, so as a result, I've saved up a fair bit of money. Assuming all continues to go well, we plan to purchase a house together in the next couple years, as the one we're living in currently is a "starter" house in a not-so-great neighbourhood, and we can both easily afford a better place.
My problem is that although my partner makes a bit more money than me, I will almost certainly be able to pay a far higher amount as a down payment on a house due to all the saving I've been doing while living with him. I'm happy to do this, as I'd like to keep our mortgage payments as affordable as possible, however my concern is that if our relationship turned sour shortly after purchasing the house and we split up, would I have any hope in getting my higher percentage contributed to the house back? Is there any way that I can protect myself in the event that this should happen, or should I just insist on us contributing equally to the home and suck up the higher mortgage payments? If you've been in a similar situation or have any input, please share! | Boyfriend and I will be purchasing a house. In the event of a break-up, can I be sure that my greater investment in it would be credited to me? |
t3_14nig7 | relationships | Expectations on coming home - transition from work to home. | 36M/29F - 6 months - living together
I haven't quite figured out how to transition. For example - today I came home in a great mood. I opened the door and my SO was irritated by something, didn't run over to hug me, immediately went into the issue. I had no idea how to account for the imbalance. Then a friend of ours (married; closer to my SO) stopped by just a few moments later and my SO immediately picked up and seemed happier.
So a couple of questions - this happens regularly. How can I smooth the daily work/home transition? Let go of expectations? How does your transition go every day? Also, what's the deal with unloading to me and picking up immediately for someone else? In one sense it hurts, in the other it makes sense - me = comfortable, someone else = putting on a face. Just wondering about your experiences in this matter. | rocky transition from work to home nearly daily. Do you have trouble? Also, what's the deal with perking up for others but unloading on me? |
t3_gq4r8 | relationship_advice | Boyfriend wants to go a dance party alone | Throwaway account:
I went out to lunch with my boyfriend (of 6 months) today and as we were leaving he saw one of his (girl) friends and asked her if she was going to this dance party tonight on one of the lawns at our college. She said she didn't know it was tonight. My boyfriend told her, "Yeah, it's tonight and free. You should definitely come. I'm going to be there."
As we were leaving, I asked him about it. He told me about the dance party and said he was really excited to go. I asked who he was going with and he said he was going alone. I was confused. I asked him, "So you're just going to go around dancing with random people then?" He told me he wasn't going to dance with other people. But come on, this is college. He's dirty danced with me tons of times and he's bragged to me about how at one dance party in high school, he dirty danced with a record 22 girls. I mean, he's a great dancer and that's commendable, I guess.
Anyway, I asked him if he wanted me to go. He told me, "I planned on going alone." I said, "But we could dance together." He told me, "I don't think you would really like it." It's a dance party. I love dancing too, especially with my boyfriend.
So now, I'm upset with him. It's not like he wants a night out with his guys or something. He literally just wants to go out to a college dance party without his girlfriend. And he specifically told me that he doesn't think I should go at all, not even with other people. Then there's the whole telling another girl to go because he's going to be there. I'm usually not jealous, but I just feel like he's going to this party so he can act single for a night and dance with tons of other girls while his girlfriend waits at home for him to return. Am I crazy for thinking this? Input please | Boyfriend going to dance party alone tonight and said he does not want me to come with him. I think he wants a night to pretend to be single. |
t3_c7g24 | relationship_advice | Reddit, I broke up with someone who was infatuated with me, he is devastated and I am worried | Here is the story: I have been dating this guy for a month and while I had a great time in his company, there was something missing. We were physical too, and every time after we had sex, I felt dirty. The only time I ever felt dirty after sex was after my first and last one night stand. This guy was very infatuated with me. He told me he would marry me, and he even said he loved me (in passing, but I am 21 so I'm really afraid of commitment).
Tonight, we had a great date. After the date, we went to his apartment and shared a bottle of wine. He told me how happy he was that I was there, and wondered why I liked him and why he was alone (I did too, because he is a great person). But I had to bring it up, and I did it, and he took it badly. He didn't want to speak, and I am afraid of his mental stability.
Should I be feeling bad? What should I do? I still want to be friends with him, but not a relationship. | Dated a guy who was infatuated with me for four weeks, broke up with him, afraid of his mental stability and I am feeling bad. (read questions directly above) |
t3_37fprn | relationships | My girlfriend [26 F] is bonkers for me. I [22 M] "love" her mostly logically. | I never feel the "honeymoon phase" thing. I tend to love less from a place of passion and more from a place of trust and stability, the way old married couples do.
At the start of all of my relationships, I want to go straight into doing practical things together while my partner will want to have a romance with rompus sex on the kitchen counter.
My current partner loves the crap out of me, and I want to match her level of passion, but it doesn't always come out as authentic. I sometimes feel like I have to make myself say "I love you" rather than it just falling out of my mouth.
I want her to be my partner, I just don't enjoy the dog and pony show that everyone else does. I understand that I'm the weird one is this situation. Maybe I just don't understand something that the rest of you do? | I am not very passionate about love. How can I be a good, authentic partner when I come from a place of logic? |
t3_htv2s | AskReddit | Males of Reddit: How does a female friend get back on good terms with you, after she's essentially "friendzoned" you? | ... or anyone who's ever been friendzoned: What does it take?
I had a really good male friend (hah, like the throwaway?), and last year he asked me out ... multiple times within the same month. Each time, I turned him down, gently but firmly, and each time, tried to give him some cooling-off time/space. He would ask to hang out within a week, and eager (possibly naive?) to believe we could carry on being friends, I'd agree. Then the stilted, expectant questions and awkwardly long, meaningful glances would begin again. After the third time, he just dropped out of my life. Stopped hanging out with me and some of our mutual friends, and buried himself in work. It killed me at the time.
He was a really good friend, and I see him around *all* the time -- we have a ton of mutual friends, and I really want us to be on good terms. Last semester I ran into him on campus and tried to build a line of communication ("Hey, how's it going? It's been way too long. We need to catch up!" etc.) ... he responded normally, then plunged into a really direct, really awkward line of conversation about my current relationship, "So I heard you're with Herp Derp! Nice. You know, funny enough, when I met him freshman year, I thought he was gay." Wat. | Had a good friend who tried to hit on me; when turned down, dropped off radar; says snarky things to me every now and then; how du i fix??? |
t3_4zapde | relationships | Me [16 M], I'm done trying to communicate with people | School just recently started and I thought why the hell not, I'll try to make some new friends. I prepped myself by practicing talking to people and when I got to school I either don't get approached or I just get looked at like I'm weird or something for trying to talk to them. Or if I message them on instagram, they don't respond. I'm a decent looking guy and I'm not horrible at talking to people it's just I'm tired of trying to meet new people because I know this'll happen again.
Also, this one girl i was really interested in started talking to me for a little bit and then she just stopped talking to me altogether and started talking to my best friend :/ why does this shit happen to me? I try my best and all I get is rejection. | Can't make new friends and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Some tips on how to do it properly would be nice, I guess :/ |
t3_1i83j3 | loseit | I've been on a plateau for a year, and today I had the epiphany as to why. Time to make a change! | When I first started losing, I would give myself rewards for hitting big goals, such as "Oh hey girl you lost 10 pounds! Have a cookie." and other things like that, allowing myself to splurge on a semi-regular basis.
After a successful year of weight loss, I've been maintaining my current weight for the last year. That's not bad, because maintaining is certainly better than gaining back, but it's still been frustrating being so close and not being able to get rid of that last 10.
This morning, I just realized what I've been doing. On average, I've been sitting around 152. Whenever I get to 150 or 149.something, I always get super stoked, but then I reward myself. However, these rewards haven't been small, like the little cookie I'd let myself have in the past. It's an entire binge day that sets me back to the original ~152. Being psychological, I think somewhere I've always considered myself the fat girl and am afraid that I don't deserve to lose that last 10 and be happy/successful. I've been self-consciously holding myself back.
Now, I *am* going to Vegas in 2 weeks, so there I'm definitely going to be way less strict about my diet, because it's Vegas and I'm a NW girl who LOVES In-n-Out but can never get it, but this is a new start. I've finally realized the true cause to my seemingly endless "plateau," and have a new way to motivate myself!
Let's hope it lasts/works D: | I'm my biggest enemy and have been subconsciously holding myself back and now I'm like "What the heck not anymore!" |
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