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t3_1maost | relationships | I (22M) am moving home after 3 years of long distance to my wife (26F) | I have been living all around the world for the past 3 years. In that time, I have gotten married to my awesome wife who I met long before I started moving. We have gone about 9 months at the longest without seeing each other and the shortest was about 2 months. At our longest time we have spent 1 month together but we have spent many shorter times together. I have luckily been able to be home for major events in our lives such as hurricane Sandy, a wedding, and deaths in my family. I am finally getting the opportunity to move home after all this time and I was warned by some of my friends in the military that things will be different after long distance relationships. They told me that things can seem euphoric while in a long distance relationship but different when you actually start living together again. They have only met her when they were with me in a different state so they were not implying cheating. We talk everyday for the most part, we get along great, and I would never expect a problem (thus why we are married). My friends just have me worried so I was wondering if anyone has heard of something like this before, and if so what happened due to it? Thanks for the help! | I am moving home after 3 years long distance and was warned that things can get rough after large amounts of time away from each other. Does anyone have first hand experience with this? |
t3_3vb6kj | personalfinance | 21yo college student denied Pell grant. What to do? | So I'll try keep this short.
During my first 2 years at college due to financial situations I was awarded a full Pell grant. My parents have in no way contributed to my degree as I have been paying myself and partially through fed loans.
Recently my mother got re-married, and next semester I was not awarded this grant. I spoke with our schools financial aid officer and asked him why. He stated that based on my parents combined income that I was no longer eligible.
What's the deal? My parents do not claim me on their taxes, I filed as independent, and I receive no money from them for anything. Did I perhaps enter something incorrectly on the FAFSA to let them think my parents contribute?
Is there something I can do? | Parent got married & I filed independent on my taxes. Based on combined parent income estimate I am no longer eligible for Pell grant. |
t3_3jars9 | relationships | My (30F) husband (31M) threatened to kill me and himself, I can't bring myself to tell anyone I know. | Update: I told my boss at work. I'm going to ask my best friend tonight if I can move in with her for a bit, but she is at work and can't talk at the moment. I've been putting on an act for James so I think I'll be okay for a day or so. I hope to be out of the house by the weekend.
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My husband and I have been together for 3.5 years. We'll call him James. Things haven't been great between James and I for a while.
I would tell the whole story but I feel like none of that matters. Sunday night, I had a tone with him, so he got in my face screaming about how much of a bitch I am, how he hated me and wished I were dead. I told him if he hated me so much, we needed to divorce. He said he thought about killing me and himself on several occasions.
It's been two days and I can't shake the words. I've walked on eggshells and I've stayed late at work trying to avoid going home. I want to tell someone but I've pussied out every time. He's so different with other people, I don't think anyone would believe me. How do you bring yourself to talk? I have a dog, my biggest fear is being separated from him. | over a small argument my husband said he wished I was dead and wanted to kill both of us. I can't bring myself to tell anyone. |
t3_4ixnps | dogs | [Help] My puppy was taken from the litter too soon. What should I do? | My girlfriend wanted a puppy, and for mother's day she was surprised with one from her family. It's a German Shephard/Siberian Husky mix. Adorable little guy. Everything's great. Except he's only 5 weeks old. I don't remembrr much from when I was raising my dog, but I do remember that you shouldn't take a dog away from his litter and mother until they're at least 8 weeks old. In the short research I did today I learned that this js because the dog won't become properly socialized with other dogs and will develop problem behaviors in the future. I want to avoid this, of course, but bringinf him back to his litter is not an option (he was flown across the country). What are my options as far as socializing my pup properly in this sensitive period? I've suggested my girlfriend take him to puppy socials hosted at my local PetCo every weekend after he's got his vaccinations, but I feel there's no real way that that will be enough. He's also sharing the home with a 9 year old GS/Rottweiler mix. They get along great except the older dog shows disinterest on playing with the pup and becomes possessive over his toys. I'm not sure if that is the right environment for the pup to become socialized in, since ge won't be able to play much. What would be the ideal thing to do for my pup? All help would be appreciated. | Pup was taken from litter at 5 months. What's the best course of action to take to make sure this doesn't affect his behavior in the future? |
t3_p0qax | dating_advice | 19[M] Just went on my first date, not sure how to proceed. | You guys have been helpful in the past, hopefully you can help again.
I'm 19[M] she is 20[F]
I met this girl a few weeks at ballroom dancing club before fall semester ended, she seemed nice and maybe interested in me. I made small talk and tried to get to know her. I decided to wait until after winter break to try anything.
I asked on Thursday I asked her if she'd be interested in grabbing lunch some time. She said yes, so today we went out to eat. I offered to pay the bill but she insisted that we split it.
I had fun, and she seems like a cool girl, but conversation was stilted and sort of awkward. Because of this, I wasn't really able to gauge what she was thinking. On the walk back from lunch, while trying to make conversation I accidentally got her to reveal a rather personal secret which she said she "doesn't normally tell people the first time."
So, my problem is, how do I follow this up and how long should I wait before texting/calling.
My current plan is to text her later tonight and basically say that I had a fun time and that we should do something together again sometime. I'm tempted to make a joke to play down the stilted conversation but am not sure if that would be the best. | Went on first date. Had fun and am still interested, but conversation was stilted/awkward. She revealed personal detail she doesn't normally tell people. How/when do I follow up? |
t3_3dk5i7 | relationships | I [21 M] want to tell my friend [21 F] that I like her | Hi. So a little backstory here but hopefully not too long. I have a friend [21 F], let's call her Alisa.
Alisa and I have known each other for a long time and have always gotten along well. A few months ago my friend [21 M] asked me if it was okay if he asked Alisa on a date and I realized that I wouldn't be okay with that. Alisa and I hang out a LOT and get along very well.
I've realized that I want her to be my girlfriend, not my friend. We do very date-like shit. We go for dinner @ nice places and go for drinks at nice bars.
My current hypothesis is that she is not physically attracted to me. I do not believe the feeling of wanting a relationship is reciprocated but I feel like it's beginning to actually take a toll on my life because I find myself thinking about this dilemma a lot. Another problem is that we have a lot of mutual friends so coming out of left field with this could stir the pot in my life for sure.
Any advice? Brutal honesty much appreciated. Thanks | I want my friend to be my girlfriend. I doubt the feeling is reciprocated but I still want to tell her. |
t3_33ldjw | relationships | Me [27 M] with my GF [23 F] of 1 year, she feels smothered, I feel neglected | She feels smothered by my love at times - I am very affectionate and shower her with words of encouragement, hugs, kisses. I want to make her feel special, and it makes me feel good too. But for her, it's too much. She says it's only started being too much in the last few months. I think she has lost interest and that's why it's now too much.
She isn't very emotional or nurturing and that's something I feel a strong need for. Many times I don't feel loved because she doesn't do much at all of the things I do to show love. I understand she has other ways of showing her love, but I can't help that it doesn't make me feel loved.
My question is whether this is the type of thing we can work through? Or is this the sort of thing where we're just not emotionally compatible? | She feels smothered, at the same time I feel neglected emotionally. Is this a sign we aren't right for each other or is it something we can work through? |
t3_125z2z | AskReddit | Reddit, What spider is this. | I was getting ready to shower, and saw something floating around mid air about a foot from my arm. It was a tiny spider, I promptly destroyed it.
I then felt something on my foot. Shaking it off, I realized it was another one. I went into the shower, and began peering out and spotted a good 5-10 crawling on the walls. They're only tiny.
It's clear that a big one has given birth somewhere either in or near by bathroom, but I have no idea what to look for, or what kind of spider this is, or whether it's venomous or not. Nor do I know how big they'll grow.
(
I emptied a can of bugspray into the bathroom, and shut the door, creating a gas chamber. When I went in a few of them were on the floor, in pristine (non-crushed) condition. I've taken a few photos.
It's fair to assume a few of them must've escaped the culling however, and have an opportunity to mature somewhere in my room.
Are there any Arachnologists on Reddit? Or anyone familiar with identifying infant spiders?
I'm living In australia's East coast, so this isn't entirely unexpected I guess. | Found a bunch of baby spiders, dead scared they're going to run into corners of my house and grow into something that scares the shit out of me 3 months down the track. What am I in for? |
t3_20gcif | Dogtraining | Need advice on how to help my dog handle himself around my roommates unfixed cat. (Possibly nsfw?) | Background: Samwise is a 9 month old lab mix (we think with border collie maybe but we have no way to know.) He has grown up around friendly cats and generally behaves himself around them (no chasing etc.) My roommate adopted a cat a few months ago, it's been going fine.
Except that the small female cat is unfixed and as such her moods fluctuate wildly. My roommate is going to get the cat fixed, just hasn't gotten around to it.
Some days she is indifferent towards him. Some days she will chase him and attack him, and some days, like today, she tries her best to seduce him. He does not understand what she is doing to my knowledge but gets very excited and starts pouncing around her (which she doesn't mind,) bringing her toys, and otherwise tries to initiate play. These things aren't a huge deal, but today his behavior changed.
It began with some friendly grooming. He nibbled and licked her fur, no issue there. But this grooming has escalated to the point where he is putting his entire mouth around her neck/body. He is fairly large (50 pounds) with a large mouth and she is tiny.
Basically I'm just looking for advice on what I should treat as acceptable behavior and what I should try to eliminate. I don't want him to hurt her, and he definitely doesn't want to hurt her either, but I can see it happening on accident if I don't correct this nibbling/biting. What makes it more difficult is that when she is in heat (like today) she will not discipline him herself (ie scratching.) | My dog is getting molested by my roommate's cat every few weeks and has started nibbling/biting her when she is in heat/seeking his attention. |
t3_49rhbr | relationships | I [26/F] need advice on how to approach this guy I adore [24/M] but he has a FWB? Are there boundaries I should be aware of? | I'm hazy on the rules to these kinds of arrangements.
I started working at a grocery store a couple weeks ago and I met this guy named Jake there, and I was struck by him immediately. He's crazy intelligent, wicked charming, so gorgeous, absolutely hilarious, and just an all around great guy that I'm very attracted to.
Naturally, I started asking around if he had a girlfriend, talking to somebody, anything like that, and I found he has a FWB with another co-worker and they've been in this arrangement for almost a year now.
This co-worker is very close with the girl Jake is having sex with and she disclosed to me some information I find pertinent, most notably that Jake has made it clear SEVERAL times that he has no interest in dating his FWB. She has tried many times to get him in a relationship, but he has completely and outright refused every time. His reasoning being that he just doesn't have any romantic inclination towards her at all and that will never change. So he's still very much single.
My REAL question is, would be I wrong in pursuing him? I know his FWB is still very interested in him (rumor says she loves him even) and I don't know if that makes me an asshole or something?
But I'm also fairly certain he's at least curious if not a little interested in me. He's asked me if I had a boyfriend, he's made a couple jokes about me being "wifey material", he likes to sniff my neck and growl a little, and our eye contact lasts for very long periods of time usually. All of that sounds promising, but he's never asked for my number or made any concrete moves. SO, I want to be the one to get this ball rolling... so you can see my dilemma.
Any help, insight, and perspective would be much appreciated as I don't know much about FWB's in general as that's not my thing. | Like a guy who has a FWB. Want to make a move so we can see where this goes, but not sure how to proceed or if it would be wrong/rude to do so. |
t3_1obb6s | relationships | Me [21M] am so afraid of my lack of sex | Im 21 and never had a big interest in chasing women to get sex, really I didnt give so much shit about it and thought guys who spent more than 800$/month and hours on dates and gifts to get it were stupid when you can just jerk off instead.
But I read some articles and they all warn for very big consequences if you dont have it. Like big psychological diseases and other sicknesses that have a big relationship to the lack of sex and im just getting so fucking afraid, I dont want anything bad happening to me and Im thinking about it every day now. Prostitution is illegal in my country so that option is gone, I dont know how I am gonna go trough this, i feel more bad every day and im so afraid that im gonna end up becomming psychopath one day.
what should I do? | read im gonna become really sick if I dont have sex and im getting more afraid every day and cant unthink about it. |
t3_3l0naz | relationships | Me [19 M] with my _girlfriend__ [20 F] over a year of dating: Girlfriend cuddling with gay friend in front of me in my own house | After an event my girlfriend and some friends came back to my house after a long night of partying. Upon entering the living room I see my girlfriend's recently acquired (rather attractive) "gay best friend" spooning my girlfriend on the couch. I am not an insecure person, nor do I think that this guy is going to make a romantic move on her as he is quite clearly homosexual, but seeing them together like that gave me a very bad feeling.
The next day I confronted my girlfriend about this saying "how would you feel if I came over to your house with an attractive lesbian friend and you had to watch us spoon in front of you?" She immediately got defensive claiming that she wouldn't care since there wouldn't be any sexual tension and making me feel like I was crazy and paranoid for being bothered by it. Knowing my girlfriend as well as I do, I find it very difficult to believe that she wouldn't care and how defensive she got made me even more... skeptical.
To be clear, I am not really worried about sexual intamacy, but more or less why she chose to be physically intimate with him in my own house. I know her so well that I can see the way she talks and interacts with me is the same way she looks at him and quite frankly I'm getting the whole "oh he's gay, therefore anything that happens, sexually, physically, or emotionally intimately doesn't count," and this makes me worry about their growing level of intimacy. | My girlfriend cuddled her homosexual friend in front of me in my own house and then got defensive and weird when I asked her how she would feel if the scenario was reversed leaving me with an uneasy intuitive gut feeling that something is wrong. |
t3_1o80ej | relationships | Me [21/F] with my bf [27/m], still having problems with my best friend. | Okay, so we had some problems that included my best friend. Full story below.
Okay so I decided that I love him and I really want things to work out. So since there was no way I could make him see that I felt like what he's doing is wrong I told him I would just let things go. I just pretended like nothing happened, and decided not to fight anymore. We just agreed that when he hangs out with my best friend they aren't allowed to talk about our relationship, or me in general. I felt like if it couldn't be brought up in conversations then it couldn't cause problems.
Well last night he came over and we were just hanging out, and he told me how he enforced the fact that he wouldn't talk about me to my best friend. That apparently she brought it up and he told her no. Which was great. But then I asked vaguely what else happened. And his response was that if he can't talk about me to her it's only fair that he can't tell me what he talks to her about.
Now am I just over reacting? Because I'm upset because I feel like his loyalty should be with me. It's not like I'm asking for transcripts of their conversations. I think it's more of the tone he tells me in also. I just feel like he has no loyalty to me at all. And if he does than he has equal loyalty to her. And I told him this and he said he shouldn't just pick my side because were together? Isn't this what a relationship is? Supporting your SO no matter what?
I think maybe I'm reading too much into it. But on the surface I feel like I'm alone in this relationship, he doesn't have my back. | bf feels like he doesn't have to tell me what he talks about with my best friend/ I'm confused on where his loyalties lie. |
t3_13f8qw | relationship_advice | A friend wants to date my ex-girlfriend. I don't think I'm comfortable with that. What do? (details within) (22/m) | Ola! Details below:
I met this guy over a year ago and I like him a lot. We share similiar interests in music, literature and games, and he's one of the best friends of my current girlfriend. We cook a lot together, watch films, are just generally good 'bros'.
At the moment, I'm living abroad (for another two months), and he sent me an e-mail, saying he made out with my ex-girlfriend and he felt really bad about it, many times he emphasized that. He hoped I wouldn't be pissed off at him. I told him I wasn't, and it happens, I don't blame him, she's hot right? I was glad he told me right away and didn't tell me I'd get over it (nother friend did that once), or something condescending like that.
My ex and I broke up 9 months ago after a one year relationship, but I don't think that's too relevant. He said he was considering going on dates with her, and asked how I'd feel about that.
I feel like I **shouldn't** mind if he starts dating her. But I felt very uneasy at the idea, and I don't think I would enjoy hanging out with him much if he did, especially if I know there's a good chance my ex will be there too (all three of us have partly the same circle of friends). I am just about fine with hanging out somewhere were she is too, but this would be a big gamechanger.
So what do I tell him? | I feel like I shouldn't care whether he dates her, but I do. I think it would very negatively influence our friendship. How do I deal with this? |
t3_4jdwoj | relationships | I [16F] got into a massive fight with my step brother [16M] last night and I need a way to fix the tension because we are going to be alone all summer break. | To clarify our parents are going away on vacation over the summer break to Hawaii and they are leaving us here in Oregon. It is just going to be the two of us and our aunt checking in on us every day.
We got into a massive argument over something so stupid. I thought my step brother went into my room and stole money from my wallet. I accused him of it and he pleaded that he was not guilty. He was telling me he would never do that. Things were getting heated and we said some pretty nasty things to each other.
I got home from the mall 30 minutes ago and I feel so bad. Over the course of the day with my friends, I remembered that I loaned that money to someone and forgot about it.
I came home today and he had left money on my bed, with flowers. He also left a note saying " I am going out with the boys tonight. I don't know why you think I stole your money but I didn't. It's clear to me no matter what I say nothing will convince you, so there is your money you claim I stole and I bought you flowers to say I'm sorry for some of the things I called you"
I need a way to apologise to him, because if I don't it's going to be a long awkward summer. | I loaned money to a friend and forgot about it. I accused my step brother of taking money from my wallet and he did not. I need a way to apologise |
t3_2s2spt | needadvice | People of Reddit, I walked into my older brother having sex and he shouted something weird now I feel a bit awkward...how do i fix this? | So i just got home about 2 hours ago, and i walked into my brother doing the deed with some friend of his. Thing is it was in my room...Don't get me wrong i really don't care if my brother fucks on my bed its just sex no big deal. BUT when i opened the door he shouted "BOBA FETT" and i couldn't help but just stand in confusion after hastily closing the door. So i just stood there for a second thinking "Boba Fett? is this what he always says when having sex?" or maybe that it was like a "secret phrase" between them or something. I actually have a huge poster of Boba Fett on my wall next to my bed (Im a huge Star Wars fan) and i wondered if he said it because he saw it and it just popped into his brain or something. When my brother gets outta my room he looks at me and says "did you hear what i said?" to which i replied "yeah dude it was kinda random" after wards he walked off awkwardly saying " ok". Im now alone in my house picturing situations where shouting "BOBA FETT" during sex would be reasonable as a way to cope with the awkwardness. Someone halp pls. | I walked into my brother having sex while he shouted "BOBA FETT" and now life is confusing once more. |
t3_3reana | relationships | I (27/f) need to overcome feelings of "getting back" at my SO (28/m) and others when they disappoint me. | I'm sorry if this is not the right sub.
I've been disappointed a lot lately and the common denominator is me. So I feel like I'm the only one that can make these things better.
* My boyfriend (LDR) had to cancel a trip in December that he had promised me; a trip that was supposed to be kind of a big deal; and my response is "I'm going to cancel MY trip in November so you know how it feels." -- even when this would disappoint me greatly because it would mean not seeing each other at all for a significant amount of time.
* My friend asks me to keep buying things/spending money for her wedding ($2,000 so far) and my first response is "I'm never inviting her to my wedding!" (um- if I ever get married?)
* I have a friend who keeps canceling on me whenever we make plans. Every time. For 6 months. This weekend I showed up to a Halloween party alone because I knew she would be there. I text her to ask where she is. Not coming. My response is: "I'm never hanging out with you again."
Reddit,
What the hell is wrong with me?
I know this isn't a traditional /r/relationships post. But just because I get disappointed, I shouldn't be plotting revenge, and yet THAT'S what I'm finding myself doing.
If there's any plus side: I don't follow through with anything. I never act on these feelings. They are feelings caused by resentment. But they blind me, they make me so upset. They make the disappointment spiral into something bigger, something more dramatic, something that would obviously end the relationship, whether romantic of a friendship.
Has anyone experienced this? Has anyone have any success in getting through and over these feelings? I don't want my first response to disappointment to be "I want to make you feel this bad, too." Because that's mean and I know it is and I don't want to do it, really; but I don't even want to THINK it. | This "eye for an eye" thing in my brain has to stop. It makes things more dramatic than they need to be. I want to allow myself to feel some peace and acceptance, and not jump to retaliation. =\ |
t3_23pk6g | relationships | Me [31F], does not know how to handle my parents [63M - 58F] apparent relationship demise of 40 years. Help. | My parents never had a healthy relationship. There have been so many issues during our lives, it would be impossible to try to describe in a single post all of the co-dependency, verbal abuse and control issues that they deal with, in ways that have "seem" normal after so long. They are old-school hispanic folk who think therapy is only for people with severe mental issues and they NEVER resolve their problems EVER. They just do their version of "moving on".
It seems that as of late, their issues have been escalating to the point that there have been some nasty back and forth comments publicly on facebook, which is now involving other family members taking sides and airing dirty, OLD laundry. It's seriously pathetic.
My stance is this: If they are happier, healthier people by separating, yes, it would hurt me, but in the end, I am supportive of that idea.
The problem is: I have some family members trying to pull me in the direction of only supporting my mother, while making my dad seem like this awful monster. The man is not without fault. He's said some things in the last couple of days that do not make me proud of him, and it has been hurtful. However, he's been a great dad to me and I won't abandon him during this difficult time. I refuse to take sides. I feel like I'm going to get a lot of shit for "playing switzerland".
I don't feel strong enough right now (emotionally) to be anyone's pillar of strenght. It is very difficult for me to pick up the phone and offer an ear or a shoulder without feeling like I'm going to break down too.
I just don't know how to deal with my own emotions right now. This sucks. | Parents hate each other... family taking sides. I love everyone and feel like I'm in the middle. I just want to dissappear. |
t3_1004vb | relationship_advice | caught boyfriend watching porn while i was in bed with him | This morning my boyfriend and i were working on our computers while laying in bed. we were just relaxing and i fell asleep. i woke up and my boyfriend immediately started fumbling with his computer and shut it really fast. I knew something was up but he pretended nothing was happening and then started cuddling. I confronted him about it and asked if he was looking at porn, which he initially denied and then finally owned up to it. I don't really care that he watches porn when i am not around but i thought it was really disrepectful that he was doing it while i was laying right next to him. But here is what really got me upset. I asked him if I could see what he was watching and he refused. He said "That is wouldn't be helpful in any way" but then offered to tell me what the porn stars name was that he was looking at.
I feel really strange about the whole thing especially since he was adamantly hiding what he was looking at even when caught. Now he is upset with me because I am acting "weird"
Any advice? Should I not care? | caught boyfriend looking at porn while i was laying in bed with him. he refused to show me what he was looking at. Should I be upset? Worried? |
t3_140bqp | AskReddit | It's time to spill your most embarrassing High School moment! | For a little backstory:
In my freshman year, I was big into religion. So much so, I tried out for our church's annual revival play titled "The Gates of Heaven and Hell". I won the part of a demon. Demons dress up in black spandex and drag the 'sinners' to hell. When waiting on Satan to deliver his condemnation, I and other other demons would crouch and gesture longingly to the sinner. Over time, I honed my demonic gesturing and was pretty pleased.
Fast forwarding, I reluctantly attend the homecoming social at the insistence of my cousin. It's important to note two things: I don't dance. At all. I'm far too white to even attempt. Also, I was friends with the group of people that were into urban culture.. I think they took pity on the heavyset white kid with few friends.
In the middle of the dance floor, there are people break dancing and poppin' and lockin'. I stand by interested in their moves. As the middle of the dance circle empties, I feel hands on my back forcing me into the circle of doom. All the while, my urban friends are cheering me on, building my confidence. An attractive female is also in the circle with me. As I said before, I don't dance, and was stuck in the middle of the circle with no prior experience. I then recall the one thing vaguely resembles dancing... my experience as a demon. I crouch down in the circle and begin to show off my demon moves. Gesturing to the girl in the circle much like I gestured to the sinners in the religious play. Less than 5 seconds later the same group that pushed me in pulled me back out. I turn beet red at all the laughter around me. My urban brothers pat me on the back and tell me to practice some more. The rest of the dance floor can't stop laughing. Suffice to say, it's scarred me for life and I dread even the thought of dancing in public. | Had part in church play as demon who took sinners to task. Used same demon moves in a dance circle. Died. |
t3_4llz8s | relationships | I [20M] am addicted to drugs and don't know how to tell my SO [21F] that I need help detoxing (possible triggers?) | Please tell me if this isn't the correct place to post this, I was a little unsure.
Just last year my girlfriend (who was also a friend of my current girlfriend) passed away from a drug overdose. Fast forward a year and after months of me being clean after what had happened, a friend of mine quit drugs and trusted that I would dispose of a bottle of 350 oxy's. (If you're a drug addict, you know how hard it is to just throw it away) Being a recovering drug addict, of course it was easy for me to relapse, I just won the jackpot in my mind! So I've been taking anywhere from 8-10 pills a day. I'm still just under 80mg a day but I wake up with horrible aches and sweats every day and it's to the point I think I might die if I don't quit. My health is very quickly declining. I had to get an ekg last minute at the doctors last week because they're concerned I've had a heart attack.
My girlfriend has been the biggest part of my life this passed year. We started dating July of last year. She's helped me tremendously with the loss of my girlfriend and I've helped her with the loss of her friend. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her but I need her help to get clean. She has no idea I've been on drugs. Right now we're living apart while our home undergoes renovations. So she's been an hour away at her moms and I see her maybe once or twice a week. We've had conversations in the passed about me using drugs and she had told me if I ever decide to start up again, she couldn't be with me. I know I've already betrayed her trust but I need to find a way to make her understand I'm seriously sick and I need her help. I know I can get clean once I get through the detox. How do I break the news to her? | girlfriend super against drug use, I've been using, need way to tell her so she understands I'm sick and need her help |
t3_uedpa | legaladvice | Problem with Home Improvement Contractor | Last month I contracted a local, state-licensed home improvement contractor to build a small room in my backyard. They took measurements, made a design and site plan, and applied for a building permit. The permit wound up being denied by the city for being too close to my house's property line. I could have applied for a 'variance' (an exception to city building codes that would have allowed the project to continue), but after talking directly to the city, it seemed unlikely that the city would approve the variance. Seeing no other option I cancelled the project and the contractor demanded to be paid over $1500 for his expenses and time. Project never got off the ground, no ground was broken and no materials were ordered.
My beef is that the contractor should have known what the building zoning codes were to begin with and not made a design that would be rejected automatically by the city. If there was a chance that building the room would be a problem I think the contractor should have let me know ASAP. I didn't find out about the property line problem until the permit was rejected by the city. I'm pretty ticked off and was wondering if I had grounds for legal action (contractor kept part of my down payment).
Is it not the contractor's responsibility to know state, county, and local building codes before submitting a design and applying for a permit? I know that he has incurred expenses, but I think that if he had been more knowledgeable of zoning/building codes, those were expenses that could have been avoided altogether. | Hired home improvement contractor submitted a building plan that violated zoning laws and was rejected by the city, has now kept over $1500 for what he says are his expenses. I'm mad as hell. |
t3_z5i49 | relationships | M[29] I have a good friend who has acted shady with some people and is flirting with a former heartbreak of mine. Should I bring it up or should I deal with it myself? | My friend is also the same age as myself. He Fooled around behind his girlfriend's back and she had been loyal to him for the entirety of their 4 year relationship. It was only foreplay clothes on type of stuff.
Now that they're broken up, he is flirting often with a girl that broke my heart 7 months ago. One of the reason's it didn't work out is, according to her, I had been talking about our interactions with other people. Yet I'd only confided to one person: the same friend I'm discussing here and he swears up and down that he kept the details to himself. I believe him over her but it still makes me uneasy. It's worth noting that he also asserted sanctimoniously that, prior to dating his current girlfriend, he wouldn't pursue her because she was previously dating one of his friends.
Flirting is not a big deal at all, I realize, but the past keeps creeping up in my mind and it really bothers me to see him flirting with this girl, especially given the larger context.
Am I being immature and over-analyzing this? Should I bring this up with him? I don't want to if possible because it might seem like I'm calling into question his trustworthiness. At the same time, I like to have friendships where communication is wide open I don't feel the need to hide anything. | Friend fooled around on his former girlfriend and continues to flirt with a girl who broke my heart. What to do? |
t3_3yeolw | tifu | TIFU by accidentally calling 100+ customers fag | This happened a couple years ago back when I worked at KFC their was a girl I worked with who was having fun running around with the label gun and she set it to say "fag" (the label gun has 2 slots for the day then 3 slots for the abbreviation of the month and 2 slots for the year so she set the month to say FAG by using the F from febuary and so on and left the day and year blank) and she ran around slapping labels on everyone's back. Anyway 6 hours into my shift I was exhausted and I was making the potato and gravy I had to make over 150 of them so they lasted to close so I wanted to get it done quick
Once I got home I was just relaxing trying to unwind when my manager rang me asking me why I put "fag" as the time for all the potato and gravy's, as it turns out I didn't check the timer when I was making them and ended up putting "fag" as the time for every single on of them. They got 4 angry phone calls about putting profanity on our products, the girl and I both got written warnings | I didn't check the timer for the potato and gravy's and ended up putting "fag" as the time for all them and they went out to over 100 customers |
t3_2hqkt7 | relationships | Me [22 M] keep attracting women who keep messing me around... It's getting too me! | I seem to have this knack where I will be single and enjoying my life and some chick will come along, start flirting with me and saying lots of cute crap, this then progresses to treating each other like bf/gf, meet up and sleep together for a bit and then after a while they always just leave for someone else???
This most recent time was with a chick I knew on facebook for a very long time, and we lived in different countries, recently we ended up talking, this progressed to every night on Skype for a few months and we saw each other romantically. After a few months I was stupid enough to think she was genuine and flew to her country to visit her....
Anyway visited her, first night did the whole lot and that weekend at the hotel we slept together a lot and seemed really in too each other, then halfway through the week she was being hot and cold... then she told me she had mixed feelings??? And I also know she was messaging another guy a few days after I got there but she was still sleeping with me and one minute treating me like her boyfriend and then treating me like someone she couldn't get rid of.
This ended very badly and I ended up saying a ton of crap I shouldn't have and insulting her over how badly I got treated, she felt she did nothing wrong, Sure we never agreed to be bf/gf but don't go along treating me like one!! I feel I was being open minded and would have happily been just a friend if she made that clear!!!
This latest experience has really messed me up, I knew things might not work out, but she could have told me straight up and not started talking to another guy until I left her country? I also look back at how romantic she was and just seeing how quick that changed has put me off speaking romantically to women again, because how am I meant to know that won't happen again?
Overall I just feel like I have been played like an IDIOT once again, fallen for her sweet talk and then been stabbed in the back and replaced for the next best thing, also don't understand why this keeps happening but it's starting to get annoying!!! | I keep attracting women who soon after meeting / sleeping with decide to drop me, and I have had enough of being treated like this!!!! |
t3_2gd1mz | relationships | Me [16 F] relationship with good friend [16 F] of 2 years is waning, feeling lonely and hopeless | My good friend, who I'll call Jane, of 2 years and I are starting to fall out a bit. We both see each other every day at school, we have a few classes together and home room.
I don't know if this is all in my head head, but lately (past 2 months) I have really been struggling to keep up with our friendship. I don't get any joy out of it anymore-- we are starting to lose common interests and I just don't feel happy with our friendship. She doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore, it feels like she has replaced me with our mutual friend, who I'll call Lily [16 F].
Lily and I were really good friends when I was younger, and we have kept acquaintance throughout the years. Lily and Jane became friends at about the start of this year, but only in the past 2 or 3 months they have become quite close.
They have been seeing each other out of school together, which has hurt me quite a bit that they haven't invited me. I feel really vulnerable because I don't have many other friends besides acquaintances. I have also been dealing with personal issues like mild depression and anxiety lately so that doesn't make it any better.
Feeling left out has made me feel very forlorn and inferior. I don't want to confront anyone-- it's not like that. I just don't know how to cope with these feelings. I know this post seems like my issues are unimportant because I'm a teenager, and most teenagers friendships don't last, but I feel like I'm really struggling with my esteem. All of my other peers seem to have good relationships. | Friendship of 2 years is diminishing, I'm not so worried about the friendship but rather how I'm going to cope with personal struggles in the future. |
t3_16hrpy | self | At what point should my fiancé's exgirlfriend remove his photos from her Facebook? | I'm not sure where else to put this, but it's been driving me crazy lately, and I'm in dire need of opinions.
My fiancé kicked his ex out in April 2011. He and I started seeing each other in July of 2011. She had a hard time with their break-up, and because of that, she was constantly spewing hate at me, at him about me, or about us on Facebook. I started monitoring what she was saying just for my own sake, because what the hell, calm down. Naturally, as a woman, I checked out her shit on Facebook while monitoring her then and noticed that she had an album titled "My Honey" - pictures of him, and of them together. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she just hadn't gotten around to getting rid of them yet and left it at that. Fast forward to yesterday. I haven't checked her out in a while because the drama has mostly come to an end, but I decide to see if she's had anything negative to say in the last while. She hasn't, but that album is still there, and it is bothering the everliving shit outta me. I know it's petty as hell, and I know this is the type of drama that high school kids deal with, but oh my god. It's driving me shithouse. Should I just let it go? He is assuredly not her honey anymore. | My fiancé's ex has an album of photos of him on her Facebook and I hate it. Should I drop it? |
t3_yuuxp | AskReddit | have you ever had such a vivid, lucid dream, that you began to doubt your certainty of your dream state? | This morning I awoke from a lucid dream. I was not able to control my surroundings, and my consciousness fluttered between recognizing my dream state and being completely oblivious. I knew at times that what I was perceiving wasn't reality, but I remember being SHOCKED at how "real" everything was. The most vivid part of my dream sequence went a little something like this:
At one point I found myself playing with a cute, little puppy. I'm not sure what breed, but I remember that it was brown, small, energetic, and *very* fuzzy. It was the fuzziness that caused me to begin to doubt that I was actually dreaming. I knew I was dreaming up till this point, but I was flabbergasted by the softness and warmness of the puppy. I thought, "There is no way in HELL this isn't real!" It was after this experience when I began doubting my certainty of my dream state. I convinced myself that there was no way that I could invent, or make up these sensations.
After the puppy, there was also a girl about my age, maybe a year or two younger, and that was also a very vivid experience. The dream progressed a short while longer, and I awoke with this memory. I am still bewildered at how vivid and alive my surroundings were, and even more amazed that I remembered these details.
Anyways, I was just hoping to hear about other people's experiences with lucid/vivid dreams. | I had a vivid dream, became aware I was dreaming, played with a puppy, experience was so real it caused me to doubt my dream state |
t3_3fvc5l | tifu | TIFU by making my boyfriend face his fear of heights. Things end badly. | My boyfriend and I are traveling through Europe and are currently in Austria. Last night we went to an amusement park in Vienna. We had heard from our Airbnb host that they have the largest "swing" ride in the world (the one where you sit in a chair with chains attached and it swings you around). Well, my boyfriend is afraid of heights but he has been trying to do more things on this trip like sitting on a cliff edge so I thought this might be good for him. I encouraged him to "face his fears" and he reluctantly obliged.
He seems pretty nervous but okay until we get to the top and start swinging around in mid-air 383 feet above the ground. He starts to have a panic attack, hyperventilating and such. I tell him to breathe, try to talk him through it, but it just goes downhill from there. By the time we reach the bottom he has gone into shock, can't unclench his hands from the swing, can barely talk or walk on his own. I get him out of the swing, walk him over to a bench, and sit him down, trying to talk him through it. Many people eventually gather around trying to help, asking what happened. Someone calls an ambulance and we get to ride to the hospital on the outskirts of town. By this time, he is feeling better, but is still scared because of his body shutting down. Eventually we get in with the doctor, who asks him why he went up in the swing if he is afraid of heights, since it's counterproductive. He shrugs and says, "I wanted to face my fears." We go back to our rented room and I feel like an asshole. | I encouraged my boyfriend who is afraid of heights to go on the largest swing ride in the world in Vienna, Austria. He has a panic attack, goes into shock, and ends up getting a ride to the hospital in an ambulance. |
t3_vqqrx | AskReddit | I just punched myself out of a dream, So AskReddit, what are some of the weirdest reactions to a dream you've had? | Basically, It started with a bunch of bugs on me in a dream, so I casually pick them off one by one. Then I feel one on my face. I needed tweezers to get it off, and then some appeared in my hand. I started to pull up but the darn thing would let go, so I hatched an idea. I was going to yank my hand across my face. I did and I woke up the next second with my fist landing grazing over most of my face and landing next to me on my pillow mere milometers away from hitting me. | In a dream, thought there was a bug on my face, tried yanking it off, ended with me nearly punching myself. |
t3_111a6c | relationships | Should I [19M] wait for my ex girlfriend [17F] of two and a half years, and show her that I have changed? | Hi r/relationships. Just a little over 3 weeks ago, me and my girlfriend of two a half years broke up. It was mutual at first. But now, I'm lost.
Here's the story. She's a senior in high school, I'm in my second year of college. I only live an hour away so we've always been able to make it work. One weekend, she asked me to come home, and I said I really didn't care to, and that I'd rather just hang out with friends. She had never asked me for anything, and the one time she did, I turned the idea down. Anyway, that weekend she went over to her best friends house (her best friend is a guy who has always had a mad crush on her, but she always said that she could never like him like she did me). As it turns out, they cuddled until like 3 in the morning. Needless to say, I was pissed, said a bunch of things I shouldn't have, and we broke up.
Now, all I want, is to get her back. To make her happy, to make me happy. I know we're young, but nobody could make me feel like she does. She makes me a better person, and a complete person when I'm around her. When we broke up, she told me that we would get back together whenever I made certain changes to myself. I haven't always been a perfect guy. As a matter of fact I've been a shitty boyfriend. And I already feel like I've made these changes, but I've already talked to her about how I want her back, over and over, and I don't want to annoy her anymore. But how am I supposed to show her that I've changed myself? Please help r/relationships... | Girlfriend of two and a half years broke up because of several reasons. How do I show her I've changed? |
t3_397vnv | relationships | Am I (22F) wrong to be mad about a comment that the guy I am seeing (23M) made about my roommate? | I've been seeing this guy (Nick) exclusively for about 8 months, but he says he doesn't want to put a label on it yet so that's that. My roommate (22F) is a friend of mine I've known for a couple of years and she has a boyfriend (23M) of about 3 years.
I work with one of Nick's best friends, Dan. Dan is kind of a loud mouth, has basically zero tact, and I don't really like him that much. So he comes into work a couple of days ago and starts the following conversation with me:
* Dan: Hey [my name], you should set me up with your roommate.
* Me: What? What are you talking about?
* Dan: Nick says your roommate is really hot. You should set us up.
* Me: Nick said that?
* Dan: Yeah.
* Me: Did he also tell you she has a boyfriend?
* Dan: No, he didn't mention that part.
I just kind of ended the conversation there and haven't talked to Nick about it. I haven't really talked to him much in the past couple of days. Just a few texts here and there and I've kept mine short but he doesn't seem to have noticed. I'm really mad though, and not really sure what to do. I don't know why he wouldn't even mention her boyfriend when he's met him and we've all hung out plenty of times. I've never really felt jealous of my roommate even though, yeah she's really pretty and I am a little jealous of the relationship she has with her boyfriend, but I feel a little weird and jealous now. Like, I feel like I don't want Nick coming over when she's home since I know he's so attracted to her that he'd go talking to his friend about it. Am I wrong to be mad? And should I talk to Nick about it or just leave it? | Guy I'm seeing told his friend that my roommate is really hot without mentioning she has a boyfriend. I am really pissed about it, am I wrong? |
t3_ew4hm | relationships | LDR Doomed? | I (23/f) have been dating my boyfriend (29) for five years. 6 months ago, my company relocated me to another city about 4 hours away. It was a "move it or lose it" situation, so if I didn't move I wouldn't get my relocation bonus, pay increase, and I would have had to find a new job, so I moved. He was upset, but he said that he understood why I had to go.
Fast forward to now: It's getting more difficult as he is very busy with some art projects he is working on. He is busy with shows or tours almost every weekend, so when I do see him, it is usually me coming to him. I totally support his art, but I'm having a hard time feeling like he is working as hard as I am to make this long distance thing work. He has only visited me twice since I moved: once when he helped me move in and once when he was here for work. He has made it very clear that he has no desire to move here. His life (job, family, art) is there and he is not willing to give that up.
After ruminating on all this for some time, I have come to realize that if we are ever going to be in the same city again, it is going to have to be me who gives up my job (that I love) and potential career opportunities. I could give everything up and move back and there's a chance he could still be very busy and gone on tours all the time and never even be there. It's not that I don't want to move back, because I do miss my life there. But I don't want to feel like I'm the only one willing to invest in our relationship.
I know that I'm the one who moved in the first place, but I didn't seek it out. I think I was naively hoping that the right solution would just "drop into our laps" but it hasn't. And now I feel like my goals and career and success are secondary in the relationship. We love each other and have a really strong relationship, but I'm afraid that giving everything up for him when he isn't willing to give anything up for me will only cause resentment in the end. | Had to move for my job, BF won't move, no end in sight and I feel like I have to sacrifice my success if we are going to be together again. |
t3_355eec | relationships | Me [21 m] with my gf [22 m] 6 months, going well except not finacially | Me and this girl have been dating since november. I like her a lot but I am in college and have no job and class is hard enough, so I dont work. Maybe I'm a lazy piece of shit cause I could totally get a job on top of class but then I would have no life.
We go on a lot of dates and I pay for 90% of them. At most, we split it but it is still expensive to go out to eat in my area. Many times I try to suggest taking a walk in the park or doing other free stuff but she's not into it.
Today we went to the movies and It cost me 33 fucking dollars. I had fun but this is a lot of money to me and I need to eat for the next few days before going home.
I know this is a common problem but what I'm really asking here is how the fuck do I get my date to pay for ME? I want to keep doing fun shit that costs money but I'm tired of being broke and she never feels like returning the favor financially. How can I convince this girl that she should pay for me once in a while? | Im a broke ass motherfucker and I want to convince my gf to pay for me on dates once in a while |
t3_4ix3yg | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 3 years, wont give me oral sex but I give it to her often, can I stop giving her oral if she doesn't give it to me? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I go down on her a couple of times a week even thought I don't enjoy it that much. She will sometimes go down on me but only for a minute or two. I know that she used to do it with her ex bf but didn't like it much so she stopped.
She says she really likes when I go down on her but I don't think it's fair that I do it and she doesn't and I've never been able to finish in her mouth even thought she told me about how her ex used to. | I go down on girlfriend and she doesn't on me. Is it OK for me to tell her I don't want to? |
t3_3jto37 | needadvice | I think my cousin is joining a gang... Advice? | So, my cousins lives on the opposite side of town from me. His dad is an abusive druggie and his brother does heroine, he's had a pretty fucked up life. That being said, he's told me theres points in life where he doesn't give a fuck, and could kill someone. I never took it seriously. Recently, he's been hanging out in the projects and getting into fights with a lot of kids (im from NY btw), he just got jumped last week. Today, he calls me up saying "yo come down to blank-town theres mad people chilling basketball everything" so i say alright, then leave my house. As i get there, it's pitch black, nobody in sight, then i see my cousin sitting on a bench. I go up to him, say whats up, but he's acting weird and i can tell somethings off. He says he's waiting for this guy he knows to give him something and to just stay here. he gets up 5 minutes later, then tells me to chill here, this guys a 30 yr old blood member.. As he says this i realize 'oh fuck, my cousins wearing red sweatpants' and just after he got jumped he told me he wanted protection. So him and this dude talk for about 10 minutes, and im chilling on this bench, but they keep looking back at me to the point where im getting sketched. I decided to go home, haven't talked to him since (this was an hour ago).. I have a weird feeling that he's joining the bloods and i could potentially be his initiation, considering he's told me "sometimes you have to fuck people over to get ahead in life". What do i do? cut him off? | cousin might be joining bloods, was in a sketchy situation involving gang members, need advice on how to go about this. |
t3_1pqv92 | relationships | Me 22 M with my 27 F friend of 4 years; I feel a little resentful and equally dejected. Am I wrong? | Hi there!
after lurking around here for a while I thought it was time to make a post, especially after reading some comments that I found helpful
I am 22 years old, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at a young age.
however, what you would call high functioning, as I am very sociable and have a great group of close friends.
3 months ago I arranged for myself and a 27 year old female friend who I have known for 4 1/2 years, to go looking at stars through high powered telescopes at a community event.
It's a surprise for her because she adores stars and space, an interest we share. Unfortunately when we arrived it was closed, and we decided to do it later on.
Fast forward 3 months; we meet up for life drawing and she tells me that she is going stargazing at the same place with her boyfriend. In other words, my idea.
I know for a fact that it was her who suggested it, and not her boyfriend, who is often lazy and forgetful (for instance I was one of the only people who remembered to wish her a happy birthday)
Am I wrong for feeling resentful and cheated? and how can I go about raising the issue with her, without her getting the wrong idea?
Part of me wants to be completely honest and upfront about my feelings.
I have already posted in /r/aspergers, but I thought I would also get the opinions of you fine ladies and gentlemen. | Suggested to a close female friend that we go stargazing. Months later she tells me she is going stargazing at the same place with her boyfriend. |
t3_3s8osl | relationships | [21 M] I feel like I'm being ignored and it stings and I don't know how to stop the pain [23 F] | Okay, I know this sounds super silly and I'm probably making mountains out of mole hills. But I would just appreciate some insight.
I met this woman and we hung out once. She actually already has a boyfriend. We chat and message each other all the time through facebook. Always asking how our day is, that kind of thing. Platonic friends.
Well she went on a trip with her boyfriend, told me she had a great time. I then asked if she wanted to hang out on Tuesday and she said maybe, saying she had a lot of stuff to do. No biggie, I said alright. I then asked her what her favorite part of the trip was. No reply. It says that she SAW my message.
At this point, I've been feeling uneasy. I feel like something is wrong. I just got that certain feeling something was up. I know communication and honesty are key, so I just ask her if everything is okay. She sees my message and no reply. Its been eight hours now.
I'm just waiting. I don't know if there is anything I can do. I feel like sending another message asking if she is there. But I don't want to be pushy or anything.
I think the right thing to do is just wait for her to respond and just move on in my life. But I don't know what I should do which is why I'm on here asking for advice.
I bet these kinds of things happen all the time. It just stings, maybe I'm being rejected? I don't know. That is why I asked her if everything was okay, because I got that funky feeling something was up. Was it wrong of me to even ask such a bizarro question? I honestly don't know.
She is just a platonic friend. I've never done anything sexual with her, she has a boyfriend. I just talk and hang out with her.
Thanks. | Girl sees my messages and hasn't responded to my asking if everything was okay, and I only asked because I felt something was wrong and now I definitely feel like something is wrong and I'm scared |
t3_xf1hi | personalfinance | Massive student loan debt + credit card debt + degenerative genetic disoder...please advice :/ | Hello! I'm looking for some advice on how to go about taking care of my finances and working towards independence.
I'm 70k in debt with private student loans (not including interest accrued due to forebearance) 6k credit card debt (~ $250 month) $400 car + insurance, $425 in rent. About ~2100/month making minimum payments. I also have cystic fibrosis which requires VERY good health insurance. I've been on my parents plan but I will be kicked off next march. so thats another 500/month that I'll have to find putting me at ~2600 minimum.
I have a degree in Kinesiology which isn't worth much at all. I have made a lot of mistakes(getting my shit degree)/blown a lot of opportunities in my life and I'm trying to move towards independence so my parents dont have to constantly support me.
I can't defer my student loan payments unless I'm declared "permanently disabled" which my doctor won't declare for me. It would also mean I couldn't work again and I'd have to live off of SSDI which is about 700/month so thats not really an option. My bank says they're "sympathetic" but really they don't give two shits about my situation.
I graduated last August, became very sick and only recently regained my health to a point where I can begin working full time. Id like to go back to school and get a MA or another BS in a field that isn't a total fucking waste but I need health insurance before March and I can't work full time + go to school + realistically take care of my health.
Sorry for all the negative energy/vibes..I'll figure something out but I cant help but feel completely hopeless in regards to my debt.
I'll answer any questions you may have with | Poor degree choice/cystic fibrosis/ poor money management in my younger years has shit all over my life. Can't escape my problems and fixing them seems impossible. Please help |
t3_4ht17t | relationships | Ex-husband [26M] refuses to stop contacting me [24F] to apologize and try to get back together. I have no interest in doing so. | I was married for 3 years and have now been divorced for 6 months from a narcissistic and controlling ex-husband. He has been to both ends of the emotional spectrum from calling me names and accusing me of cheating (didn't happen) to contacting me every few weeks to apologize, try to fix it all, and get back together. Pre/during/post-divorce I've remained civil and calm.
We share no kids, no house, nothing. He has no reason to contact me and the length to which he's gone to makeup for it all has become pathetic (composing/singing a song, writing a 4-page letter, making a 3-minute video of photos of us... none of which I've listened to, read, or watched).
This weekend he sent a page-long email pouring his heart out. Again. This time I need to respond and set him straight that there's no chance of getting back together. I'm happier now than I was our entire marriage.
How can I calmly communicate that he needs to stop because I'm not interested? | Ex thinks we can make things work again but I don't want it. How can I strongly/calmly explain it's not happening? |
t3_4xd0vv | relationships | I [30F] angry at friend [22F] for eating cake I made for my mom's birthday (I'd made it myself), should i continue to be angry? | Me and my fiance live together, been living together for 18 months now.
We had a get-together with some friends on Tuesday nite, six women, four guys. It went fairly well until 1/2 way thru the evening.
My friend Bonnie (22f) was eating a cake she'd found in the fridge. Most of it had been eaten by the time I found her with it, she was in the bathroom eating it. She told me she'd gone to the bathroom, but had been there for ages and I was getting suspicious.
I told her I was angry with her for eating the cake, it was made for my mom's birthday and I'd spent hours on decorating it and buying icing / figures etc. The cake had a note saying FOR MOM next to it in my handwriting (as a sort of note to myself)
Bonnie wouldn't apologize to me, told me "Oh, it's just a fucking cake you bought from a 7-11 store, stop fucking around with me, you didn't fucking make that cake, jeez, bitch.".
I made the cake myself, it took me a long time to do so, I'd used Internet videos etc. to learn. and read recipes from food blogs.
My fiance understands why I'm angry, and I feel like telling Bonnie she can'tcome any more to our get-togethers. Bonnie's a coworker also, btw.
My mom was looking forward to the cake I had promised her and now I'm worried I won't have enough time to make it (her birthday's next weekend).
Me and Bonnie used to get on well, but what do I do now?
ETA: I also found out that Bonnie had taken some of my panties and food too from the house, and some of my fiance's CD-ROMs too (work CD-ROMS btw but she thought they were naughty DVDS, IIRC). | Friend ate most of cake I'd made for my mom's birthday, and won't apologise, what should I do now? |
t3_4r5ssf | relationships | Me [28 /F] with [35/M] duration -5months, Mixed feelings about this guy with two kids. | I am talking to this guy that has two kids, one is 14yrs and the other is 4yrs. From two different mothers. I don't have any kids of my own, but intend to have some soon with the right person after completing my school (I am a FT student) whenever I think of going any further with him, I hesitate - because I am afraid things aren't going to be exciting as they would had he not had any kids before. I think of having a family and it just feels odd to me that he has kind of fulfilled his family craving of ever having kids. He is very much in to his daughters - it's almost what I hear him talk about most of the time.
Many times I have told him that we need to speak as friend and not go any further but he gets upset whenever I have brought that up. I have never told him of how I feel about him having kids thing because I don't think it's right to say.
He asked me out to be his girl friend but I rejected him - reasons being... He is so busy for my own liking, his Job takes a lot of him. Also because of this daughter thing.
Am I wrong for feeling this way about him? | What do you guys think? I am in a dilemma- either I need to end this now before we get any further or continue to be in a relationship. |
t3_34ldc1 | relationships | Me [26F] with guy [27M] Just found out I'm pregnant, help please | I've been hooking up with this guy for a few months and he's moving away (I made another post about that) but just found out tonight that I'm pregnant with his baby. I think I'm 1.5 months along. He's on an trip with friends before he graduates and I've called him twice. I also sent this text: "It's really important that you call me as soon as possible. I don't want to interrupt your night but it is urgent." I'm not sure if I should keep calling him, I don't think he will pick up. Please help!! Should I keep calling hjm? | Just found out I'm pregnant with this guy's baby, we've been hooking up for a few months but he's on a trip with his friends now. Should I call him and interrupt his trip? |
t3_g696d | relationships | Randomly apology after months of not speaking | I am 23 y/o female, using a throwaway because guy I'm talking about is a Redditor.
I started talking to someone back in November. Was introduced by mutual friends and started talking to and dating this guy. Things were great, he was little shy but that's nothing new for me.
On our 3rd date, this guy cancels on me last minute saying something about a family emergency. No problem, but he told me he'd call me and let me know what was going on (I was concerned). Well, a day went by and I didn't hear from him but he was posting stupid shit on FB and on AIM talking to other people. This was annoying, so I IMed him checking to see how everything was, and he FLIPS on me. Absolutely lost it and I was flabergasted. Anyway, I emailed him a picture of the gift I made him as a surprise, and said hope things improve, let me know if you need anything. That was end of January, never heard from him again. I basically took it as a loss and realized he probably just wasn't into me.
At 3pm today though, I randomly got an e-mail from him apologizing for his behavior, he said how he felt he was a dick and he was so embarrassed he didn't even want to talk to me about it and said he hopes things are okay.
Well, how the hell do I handle this? I'm confused. I'd be foolish to even date him again at this point I think.. but I also don't want to be a bitch.
Thanks in advance :) | Was casually dating guy for two months, he stops talking to me one day after a 'family emergency' and I never hear from him again. Randomly got apology email today. How do I handle this? |
t3_k7ncy | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, I like a very close female friend, but she is trying to get back together with her abusive ex. How do I tell her "Don't get back together with him" politely and get her more interested in me? | So just a little back story. I am a 22 yo and she is 22 as well. I have been friends with this girl for quite some time (a few years). Didn't really start talking in depth until a few months ago. Now I have started to develop some feelings for her, because we have been talking almost everyday, on the phone/webcam/IM'ing. She is super awesome and really funny, just an all around great girl. There was even some flirting going on, telling each other that we think each other is attractive, obvious blushing thanks to webcam, but never anything too serious, and nothing ever outright sexual.
We started getting into deeper conversations when she confessed to me that she was unhappy in her long term relationship of almost three years, and that her bf was treating her very badly. She was getting to the point where she wasn't eating because he had called her fat, and just royally treating her like crap. Finally, after her telling me all this, and being there and listening and offering honest advice, she decides to break up with him.
Now, he is making promises to her of "how he is going to change" and "that things are going to be different." What is killing me is that she is giving this jerk a second chance!
So how do I tell her that this is the wrong way to go. I know that this guy is just going to wind up hurting her again, and I can't stand to see that happen.
Help?! | I like a girl who is trying to get back together with her abusive ex. How do I tell her that is a bad idea? |
t3_dpw96 | AskReddit | Help with my art project: Are you living the life you imagined you would? | I've just started a new self directed 8 week art project which I have titled: "Who I Wanted to be.."
Basically I got to thinking about childhood dreams and how throughout my life I always imagined living a very different life to the one I do now. I guess in my head I want to see myself as this quirky/free spirited girl - you know the type everyone wants to be like or be with. In reality I come across as shy and boring and very anxious. I kind of get the feeling this is common for a lot of people - maybe as a child you always wanted to travel but things have got in your way and you've never left your home town; maybe you're stuck in a job that doesn't match your ambitions etc. I think I sort of always want to be someone or somewhere else and I guess I'm asking if I'm the only one. | Please share with me your experiences of how you want to live, the sort of person you want to be, the life you would lead if anything was possible and any childhood dreams you had that you either have or haven't yet achieved. |
t3_1bp5zw | relationships | I'm [29M] in a relationship, for the first time with a girl [23F] that Dislikes 'sappy' stuff. Details inside? | I'm 30 years old, and im dating a girl who is 23, we've been going out for 4 months now and I've never been in a relationship with a girl that doesn't love getting all lovey-dovey and sappy, saying cute stuff to each other. Y'know like saying how cute she is, how much you miss each other, 'You are so cute when you need bend over to kiss me! muah muah muah' -It is not quite baby talk, but yeah, it could be in the same area.
Some of you women may laugh, but I'm a big sap and the girls I've been with have loved it until now. So this current girlfriend tells me tonight that she, really dislikes me doing that, its the first time she has said it, but I'm glad she did, because she says it cringes her out and for me to stop it. If I carried on doing it, I imagine we would breakup, because I was none the wiser to it.
In fact it is the main reason I rarely get any texts from her, because I send her these sappy texts and she doesn't reply to them, which explains why she never really contacts me
Thing is though, this is the very first time that I've ever had a bad reaction to it and has been a great way to show affection, especially in text or on the phone etc.
What, may I ask, is another way to show affection than this? I don't mind buying her things, but I would like something I can do sincerely and also things I can do with/for her that I could over the phone or over a text.
I love doing things that show how much I love and care for her and I really want her to know it without making her cringe.
Can you ladies help me out? | I want to express my feeling to her without her feeing or associating embarrassing or 'cringe' worthy compliments, what how do I express myself to show her how I feel in person or in text? |
t3_303vs2 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Parents[60s] - They are unable to support themselves but I seriously can't live with them. | Hey guys.
Just a bit of background here. My mom and I have always had a trying relationship. She has a bit of a narcissistic personality even though she cares for me.
But when I moved out to live on my own, my parents never stopped giving me shit. They guilt tripped me, asked for lots of money (which I didn't mind at the time), and even my sister joined in. I hardly ever wanted to go home and as a result I was pretty cold to my family. I couldn't stand them anymore and we would always get into huge arguments. I'm not proud of that.
It never really ended, and I was ready to keep my distance.. until..
My sister got breast cancer. I eventually moved home to be there for my sister.
It's not surprising to say that our old problems have come back. The disagreements.. my mother's narcissism, guilt-tripping and all that. I can't stand it. I want to move out again.. even though my sister needs my support. I feel like this is a toxic environment.
But aside from emotional support, my parents need my support financially. They haven't been earning much lately and I've been happy to foot the mortgage bill and some other expenses.. but this really can't last too long. I'm so stressed from having to pay for everything and deal with this shit that I'm not even able to support my sister.
I'm currently working near my parents but I would like to find a new job and move out -- but somewhere close so I could still be there I told my mom this and she flipped. "How could you leave us during this time?" "you're a terrible human being" "you will regret this"
I'm tired of being guilt tripped, even after I still promised to support her financially. (I'll still help pay for a good portion) I just can't live with her anymore.
Am I being selfish or is there a better way to resolve this? This is eating away at me and I'm just ready to call it quits. | Moved away from family because I couldn't stand them, sister got cancer so I moved back.. Now I want to move out again but feel trapped. |
t3_32cdqn | relationships | My [F/23] friend [F/23] wants to move out together, how do I tell her that I don't want to live with her? | As the title states, my friend wants me to move out with her. She has even gone as far as looking at places for us to live without asking me first. She knew that I was looking to move out and basically told me that we would move out together.
It's not that I don't love my friend, it's just that I cannot imagine myself living with her. We are just very different and I feel that she doesn't take care of the space she is living in now.
The bad thing is that I can't say "I don't want a roommate" because that's untrue. I just don't want her to be my roommate.
Am I a horrible friend for feeling this way? I love her but I don't want to live with her. What do I do? | friend wants to move out with me and I just simply don't want to live with her and need advice how to tell her. |
t3_118hkr | Advice | Might be depressed, might just need perspective, need some advice... | I'm 27, I have a good job with good co-workers, I have a great relationship with my fiance, I live in a nice house, and I'm socially capable with good friends. I used to host parties and be around people pretty regularly.
I'm not sure what changed, but I've just lost interest in everything. I have a hard time talking to people now, I'm really irritable and I spend a lot of time inside. I've gone out with friends and tried plenty of times to get back into my old habits, but I just can't find joy in much anymore. I rarely smile involuntarily and I almost never laugh unless I'm forcing it for the sake of saving face in social situations.
It's hard to tell if I'm depressed because I don't feel sad. I just feel nothing really. My motivation is shot, I had a hard time justifying even making this thread. This seems to have only developed in the past year or so, before I got my job I never felt more motivated in my life, it just feels like everything plateaued all at once. I'm having a hard time articulating this problem, because I'm afraid of the inevitable "welcome to adulthood" posts that will follow justifying my fears.
I woke up one day and felt really upset about everything, that's the only notable starting point for all of this. The world disappointed me, religion, politics, my country, entertainment, etc.
I have no idea what my next step is, and in the big scheme of things, none of this really matters. I don't believe in an afterlife, I don't believe in god, as a human being I feel free to do what I want but scared that anything I do is worthless.
I'm sure with all the things I initially listed, this comes across as whiney, but I have no idea why I feel this way, and would love some fresh perspective to get me back on track.
Has anyone experienced something similar and care to share? Has anything clicked with anyone who has experienced it that made them feel better? | I have the world, used to be happy and content, suddenly I just feel depressed and uninspired. How do I get out of this? |
t3_1znm0c | relationship_advice | I [23 M] was best friends with my Ex-girlfriend [24 F] can we be friends again? | We had been dating 3.5 years, and before that she was truly my best friend. She left me yesterday because she just wasn't in love with me as more than a friend anymore.
The hardest part about everything has been not having her as a friend over anything else. I found out yesterday my uncle has stage 3 cancer, and my mother is an alcoholic and is struggling to keep it together. My ex understands me better than anyone in this world, and we have a long history together as friends before anything else. I want to speak with her about my life so bad, and I want to be able to be there for the big moments in hers, and for her to be there for mine.
Can we be friends again? When can we speak again? I really just don't know whats right and what to do. We both need to move on but I can't see my life without her in it. The hardest part has truly been the loss of friendship more than the loss of a relationship. | My girlfriend of 3.5 years was my best friend and she left me because she didn't love me. How can we be friends again? And when? |
t3_2ongb5 | relationships | Me [23 F] with my roommate [24 F] of 1 year wants me to sign an agreement? | My roommate of a little over a year wants to create a roommate agreement because she's not happy with our situation. There's a third one who seems to be on board with this too. We're both on the lease, it's got about 6 months yet. We have been living in a sort of 'you don't exist' mode, so it's already a little tense.
She tends to be a little bit controlling. She usually has the visage of 'apartment mom,' taking care of the bills (which we give her money for, always on time), and she's always sending out passive aggressive emails about this or that needs cleaning. She's already to told me to my face she wants me to move out at the end of the lease, even though it's not really her decision, it's the landlady's.
We have a cleaning schedule we all stick to fairly well - Our common areas are clean, although the clean dishes tend to pile up in the rack because #3 is a cooker. I have my boyfriend over once, sometimes twice week. They already got mad at me a few months ago because 2 nights a week made it 'feel like there's another roommate.' I didn't think it was excessive. I'm also a smoker, but I usually take it outside. I did smoke in the apartment for a short time period, and as soon as they confronted me about the smell, I stopped. I was smoking tobacco out of a bowl because I was trying to limit myself to quit, although that didn't really work. I haven't smoked anything inside since then. So, things are definitely a little tense.
I have a feeling she'll want to somehow legally bind me to agreeing to her conditions. My guestimate is she'll want to have things like quiet hours, overnight guest regulations, cleaning times, smoking to put into these, which could be legally binding. Do I have to do this? Should I do this? Can I tell her I'm not comfortable signing an agreement? Or what else should I say? I'm definitely planning to move out when the lease is up. | Roommate is a little overbearing, wants us to sign binding agreement on quiet hours, # of times boyfriend can come over, etc. Not comfortable doing it. What can I say or do? |
t3_4os6nt | relationships | Why is it so hard to get over her? | Seven months ago me (23M) and my girlfriend(23F) of almost 4 years broke up. A few months back she had confessed to cheating on me with a co-worker, a female, she is Bisexual and I knew this before getting together. Me being so in love with her I stayed with her and we made progress into making our relationship work. A few weeks later we got into an argument and broke up. I tried to get her back but I couldn't. Her reasoning for breaking up with me was that she had hurt me too much and couldn't handle knowing that she hurt me so much. We stopped talking for a while. I found out through her bestfriend that she was now dating the girl she cheated on me with. As much as it hurt I knew I lost her forever. My issue is that I still love her, I miss her and want her back but she's no longer mine. She has told me that she likes women more than men. Any advice on how to finally get over her? Thank you in advance. | need advice on how to get over still my ex girlfriend, after 7 months of our break up, who cheated on me with another woman and is no dating that woman. |
t3_50410y | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1 year, I don't want kids, she does... | I have been together with my GF for about 1 year by now - it has been an absolutely amazing time and I love her more than I have ever loved anybody else before. Before I met her I always thought that I will never want or have kids. Well, I got in love, I started to love her, and I kind of warmed up with the though of founding a family together with her in the future. She for her part always knew that she wanted kids, ideally when she's around 25 years old. And now that the relationsship has lasted some time, I think my mind is clearing up and I am pretty sure again, that I just don't want kids. Ever.
The point is, that I have a very time consuming job, that is my absolute passion - I am a professional skydiver and I think this is very big part of my personality. During summer I work at least 6 days a week (usually 7) from 8 AM to at least 8 PM as long as the weather is not bad. During winter times are reduced a lot, but I still work more than 40 hours per week. My GF doesn't really see this as a problem currently as she also needs a lot of time for herself and I am spending every free minute I have with her - we are both happy with the amount of time we spend together (to be absolutely clear). But we both don't really see my work schedule uniteable with having kids. And as it seems she is taking it for granted that I will stop skydiving and look for a different job in order to found a family together with her. A job that I don't want and that will make me unhappy. I don't know, but ever giving up such a huge part of my life is not really what I intend - at least I cannot imagine right now even if a cannot guarantee that this will not change in the future.
Has anybody ever been in a similar situation? | My GF wants me to completely change my life in order to have kids that she wants - this will not be immediately, but that's her plan for the next 5 years. |
t3_2tnryq | relationships | A guy (m23) I (f24) was talking to ignored me for two months but then messaged me today like nothing happened...? | I met this guy on Tumblr a few months ago and were messaging back and forth non stop for a few weeks after we added each other on Facebook as well as Skyping a few times. We have *a lot* in common and even though it all happened quite fast I did develop a really big crush on him, and he indicated that he felt the same way.
He was even going to come to visit me because he's moving to a nearby state for work pretty soon, but he ended up deciding that it wasn't feasible at the time. I was disappointed but I totally understood and we discussed the possibility of me coming to see him instead.
Then all of a sudden he just stopped messaging me back. I was pretty upset but since we'd only ever spoken online I just tried to let it go. I was completely over it by now, so of course that was his cue to message me today being like "Hey, how are you, what's new?" kind of message... :/ Like the two month gap hadn't even happened...
I haven't replied yet and I'm kind of torn about whether I should... On the one hand we did get on insanely well and I was really excited to find someone who seems so compatible with me, and now he's not even that far away (though it will cost a lot to visit him.) On the other hand, even if he has been really busy preparing to move, its weird that he hasn't even messaged me to explain that or just keep in touch even a little.
What does Reddit think about this one? | met a guy online, discussed visiting each other but then he seemed to drop off the face of the earth for a few months only to reappear today and act like nothing happened. Thoughts? |
t3_327efu | relationships | I [18/M] broke up with my girlfriend [17/M] and I don't know how to chat with my old friends | A couple of weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of the past year and a half. It's been hard but I'm dealing with it. Anyway, that's not really the problem.
A big part of our relationship was gaming together. We played quite a lot of video games together. Before the relationship ended, we'd been playing an MMORPG together and made a lot of friends through that. We talked to all these friends in a chat room outside of the game, so that we could chat even when we weren't playing.
So here's the problem. When we broke up, she told me that the way she was going to deal with the break up was by cutting me out of her life and trying to forget about me. I understand that. It's not how I'd personally go about things, but that's how she wants to deal with things so I've been doing my best to let her do that.
As a part of this, I decided to stop talking in the chat room. I mean, after all, I stopped playing the game we'd been playing, and she was closer with everyone so I decided that she deserved to keep those friends and that I'd let her have them. Thing is, I miss them. I miss being able to chat there, or throw my opinion/ideas/knowledge in when they are talking about things I'm interested in and passionate about. But I don't know if they still want to talk to me. They might be mad at me for breaking up with her or something. And I also want to do my best to stay out of her way, so that she can heal. I don't really know what to do... | I want to chat with my friends from a game my girlfriend and I used to play together, but I don't know if they like me anymore, and my girlfriend wants to forget about me (who is also in the chatroom) |
t3_4dhpeo | relationships | Me [22F] with my Maid of Honour [21F] wedding is in 1 month, she wants her ex to still be invited | Help! (Names changed)
I'm (22F) getting married to my fiancé, Eric (23M) in a month.
My MOH, Rachel (21F) was dating Tim (21M) for 3 years, so he was invited as a her plus one. They were long distance for a few months and broke up. Rachel says she still wants him to come, because they are still friends, but she's also moved on with a guy in her town.
My FH doesn't want Tim to come, since they haven't met, and he was only coming as Rachel's plus one. At this point, Tim would be sitting at the head table, even though he doesn't know anyone else who is there. I agree with FH that it would be weird if he came. He's also good friends with my ex, who I'm not on good terms with.
Is it unreasonable that I un-invite Tim? How do I tell Rachel? I was going to say something along the lines of:
Hey, Rachel, I don't really know how to tell you this, so please don't take it the wrong way.
I think it would be weird if Tim came to the wedding now that you're not together, because Eric's never met him and he was just coming as your plus one. | MOH broke up with her bf, still wants him to come, even though she's moved on, FH definitely doesn't want him there. How do I tell her? |
t3_2nnjw9 | relationships | I [29 M] feel attracted to other girls and feel the urge to have sex with them. Should I stay with my girlfriend? [26] | My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years. It's a wonderful friendship and we still have sex 5 times a week. We both have a lot of fun in and around the bedroom. Since a couple of months I start noticing other girls. I sometimes feel sexually attracted to them and I would like to have sex with them. It feels new and fresh to me.
I wonder if this is normal in a relationship or that I need to overthink my relationship with her. I find my girlfriend is still beautiful, but in a way I got used to seeing her, making love to her. I feel the urge for something different, something exciting, something new. | I want to have sex with other girls, because I got used to my current girlfriend. Is this normal in a longterm relationship? |
t3_4uzeo3 | relationships | Me [18 M] broke up with with my girlfriend [18 F] of 10 months, need advice. | Senior in high school, we broke up a couple days ago and she didn't take it to well which was expected (I had thought about the breakup and what would happen prior to the breakup). I need advice in regards to what I should do next. We agreed that we'd be friends but I'm starting to think that it's not such a good idea. Personally I am relieved that we broke up, but she's completely heartbroken and says that she can't love anyone else, keeps calling me telling me that she wants to get back together, etc..
I am starting to think that maintaining a friendship with her is a bad idea and that it will make it harder for her to get over the breakup.
What should I do? | Broke up with my girlfriend, we agreed to be friends, she keeps calling me to get back together with her, what should I do? |
t3_2ch07o | relationships | Me [26F] with my Boyfriend [26 M] 3 years- I think he is still in love with his ex. | I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I love him a lot. Recently, He has changed. He is distant and I don't think it is because of work.
I skimmed an email of his to his ex girlfriend talking about holding her hand and memories. I understand that she is his 1st love, but where do I draw the line.
I no longer talk to any of my ex's, yet he refuses to respect me enough to stop talking to her. He has a thong from her in a book. That was quite a shock to me.
She tried to get back with him about 6 months after we got together.
What should I do? | I think my boyfriend is still in love with his ex, considering they talk a lot about their time together. What should I do. |
t3_4iy005 | relationships | A close friend [22 F] told me she would rather be with me[21 M] than her current SO, and has asked me to wait for her current relationship to end so we can be together | Just feeling confused and would love any kind of advice that anyone can offer.
So, a very close female friend of mine has recently revealed her feelings to me by telling me she would like to be with me over her current boyfriend. I told her that I would like to be with her as well, and would wait for her current relationship to end. I really like this girl a lot, but, after being in this state of limbo for about a month now, the whole situation has me feeling very anxious and alone.
We have been spending a lot of time together, both in person and through text and phone calls. However, we have not done anything that would be seen as unfaithful in the eyes of her current SO. I believe she still has feelings for her SO, as she is finding it very difficult to end things with him, and she has called me crying over this predicament multiple times. However, she has told me she does not want me to pursue anyone else during this "waiting period," which I honestly find very selfish. This whole situation of wanting to be with her romantically, but not truly being able to, has left me feeling alone and jealous. I am afraid that she will never actually end her current relationship, and I will be stuck, waiting and alone, for a while. I would love to be with her, but my feelings towards her leave me feeling jealous of her current relationship and impatient concerning her being with me.
So, what should I do? Tell her I'll be there for her if the relationship eventually ends? Just cut off contact completely and move on? Or should I tough it out and wait in hope of us being together? I have no idea what to do, Reddit, and I would truly appreciate anyone who can offer any advice of any kind. If you would like any more specifics, or would like me to make something more clear, please feel free to ask. I apologize if any of this comes off as emotionally immature or weak, but I am very confused and feel that advice from an outside perspective could do wonders. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. | Wondering if I should wait for a close friend to end her current relationship in hopes of being with her myself, or move on and try and find someone else. |
t3_1b0uju | AskReddit | Question requiring tax professionals' advice, story within. | My ex and I have a court ordered custody agreement that gives us joint custody with me having physical custody. He, per the agreement, has the right to claim her 3 out of every 4 years. When I filed my taxes this year I did not claim my daughter as a dependent but I did claim her for the EIC. The IRS website states that the only person who can claim the child for this specific credit is the custodial parent, the one with whom the child lives with for more than 6 months of the year. When his wife went to file their taxes she complained to me that I claimed my child and they could not. I explained that I only claimed her for the EIC, and not as a dependant, which only I am qualified for. She then decided, even after seeing it from the IRS website, that she would file for it anyways. I received text from my ex's wife followed by a call today from my ex stating that they received the full refund, including the EIC and that I should be hearing from the IRS soon. Now I double, triple, and quadrouple checked that I had filed correctly and I have. What I am worried about now is that if he does not get audited or told of his error before next year, we will be having this issue all over again and I don't need the hassle. What should I do reddit? | non-custodial parent claimed child for EIC and recieved full refund, thinks I am not entitled to the credit. What do I do? |
t3_28mqab | relationships | Me 25/m with my 28f GF. 3 yrs LDR. Issue or no issue? | I have been in an LDR with my GF for 3 years. We met at College, and I travelled to live in her country twice, and met her in another country once. She hasn't come to see me (workaholic). Total we've been together 16 months.
Things have been tough. I feel like a fool.
I asked her to come for a little holiday with me, and we hadn't seen each other in 4 months and had no solid plan to see each other again until this one. Since asking her about this plan, she has asked if 3 different people (1 female friend, 2 couples) at different times if I wanted them to join. I am only going on this trip to see HER and spend time with her. Now that I have called her out on this, and said it is hurtful that she wouldn't want to just spend time with me alone, she said she is sorry, I am right, and that now that she thinks about it, she'd rather spend time with me alone.
NOW, I feel like the trip is ruined. I also don't know what to feel about myself.. like if I am being an ass. Logic tells me I am being taken advantage of on a monumental scale. My mind and heart know what to do but I believe my EGO is hurt and wants revenge. | girlfriend may be taking advantage of the trip (includes free accommodation I am securing) and doesn't really feel comfortable being alone with me. |
t3_2hdbkz | self | 25 years old. I have a decent job with potentially great benefits, should I leave it and go to school for free with everything (books, supplies, and cost of living paid for? | Job eventually will match your 401k up to 7% and every year gives you 10% annual salary straight into 401k. So basically you make 30k or so cash money, but retirement accrues about 5100 every year for nothing. Of course with raises it will increase every year. But there is a ceiling of about 60k. (10,200) into 401k every year.
The company will also pay 90% tuition once you are eligible for these benefits. Which would eliminate the ceiling or at least raise it to about 100k/year. No cost of living allowance, but I will be working so I wouldn't need it.
Or would you quit and take a free ride to any university, also getting cost of living allowance in order to pay bills. A full blown free ride.
I'm leaning toward school, I am 25, not too old to do it. Not too young too piss away an oppurtunity because freedom and alcohol is not new to me (something I would have done if I went in at 17-18).
Only problem is my boss really like me and I feel I will advance pretty quickly here. The company is a fortune 500 company. So it would feel pretty shitty if I left there and it were to not work out somehow.
I do not want to be 40 and wonder why I didn't take the 4 years to get the college experience. But, I don't want to piss away a good support structure I have at work. Even if I am getting paid well at that point. | Solid company, good relationship with boss and coworkers, or free ride for 4 years plus cost of living allowance to focus solely on school. |
t3_q6pbx | AskReddit | My disabled Mom was caught having an affair and has "ran away" from home. What does my Dad do from here? | Like I said, my Mom is disabled. She had brain surgery back in 2001 which left her memory far from what it used to be, as well as having severe Narcolepsy, seizures and other various medical conditions. She is unable to *legally* drive, but has stolen my Dad's truck in the process (I guess it isn't stealing if it is in her name as well, though).
As far as the cheating goes, she has spent the past 5 years living her life as a disabled woman, having my Dad, who *was* bringing in a good bit of money, take care of her. By "take care of her" I mean, cook her food, clean up her "didn't make it to the bathroom" messes, Keep her company and then be her best friend and husband. She is fully capable of living a normal life. She can cook(but doesn't), she can clean(hasn't in years) and clearly she can have a sexually active relationship with other men throughout the stretch of their marriage(Not with my Dad though.) Long story short, my Dad caught her again, after it was all "over" and she'd "never do it again" so, he put his foot down and said the marriage was ending.
This being the best decision I feel he has ever made, I am wondering what he should do since she has left the house with no word as to where she is, WITH THE TRUCK, and with, whom we think, is a random guy she met online. I've done some research on his name but keep coming up with dead ends, so I am not sure if it's his real name or not.
I know people cheat all the time, and maybe I am worrying to much, but Reddit was the only place I knew to go that would have a wide range of opinions. | Mom has been playing Handicap for years, but somehow has the ability to have an outside relationship with a stranger she met online and is now nowhere to be found. What's my Dad's next step? |
t3_2xqo7t | legaladvice | My dad is having problems with boss - possible defamation in the workplace (Michigan) | I am totally new to this subreddit so excuse me and also my grammar, I am tired.
My dad told me today about a problem he is having at work and I just can't stand seeing him go on with his life at work with what happened. I was hoping to get a little advice since I have no idea what employee laws are in Michigan.
My dad had jury duty for a trial last week which was scheduled for 3 days. He said that when he told his boss he was going to be on the jury, who he does not seem to get along with already, she told him "lie to them, tell them you are racist or something, because you can't miss work." My dad refused to lie and at this point he was already scheduled to be on the jury during the trial.
The first day of the trial my dad was called up in front of the entire court, including the man who was on trial, and asked under oath why his boss called the court and said he was discussing the details of the crime at work. My dad said he did not, swear up and down, say anything at all at work. My dad said that was the most embarrassing thing he has ever gone through in his 50+ years of life. My dad said that the judge believed him and he said that his boss "really had some balls to call him and report that." My dad then was told by the judge he did not have to report to work that evening but his boss demanded that he did. He complied because it was not for very long except after his shift his boss demanded that he stay for 6 hours longer to work on inventory. My dad refused to do this and his boss became very hostile and angry towards him. Now my dad is afraid of being fired and also completely embarrassed. My dad does not know anything about law, he is a simple man who works very hard and can not afford to lose his job. I just feel so bad for him and want him to get out of this hostile work environment that he is in now because of this boss, but, he does not have a lot of job options. What can be done?? | My dad was asked to skip jury duty by his boss, he did not, boss went behind my dad's back and lied to judge to get him out and caused embarrassment to my father, workplace now hostile. |
t3_15q15m | BreakUps | Male [20] got dumped on Christmas day after finding out she [21] miscarried | I posted this in a different subreddit and told to post this here.
We have been together for a 3 years now, Everything has been going perfect we have had out little tifs but nothing really this massive, We both live at home but when we found out she was pregnant we decided to look for a place and we were both happy with the pregnancy, Yes we are young but financially we could support and we love each other.
My problem starts here reddit. She miscarried yes, Upsetting obviously to find out on Christmas day where we are at home this year. The thing is she got in a big argument with her mother last night and stopped over at her friends house and i rang her loads, text her loads to see what had gone on. She then text me this morning saying she are breaking up because she needs to get her head straight.
Obviously i understand she wants her space, People react in different ways. I love her and just want to be there for her and she doesn't want to be with me and said she has made up her mind.
A few days later it hasn't got easier at all, The pain of loosing her and the child had really gotten to me, I went round to her house to drop her things off, As stupid as it sounds i couldn't handle her things being there, We spoke a little but she was very cold and didn't want anyone to be there and quickly made an excuse to leave the house.
I left it another day she text me apologising for the way she was which was progress i guess, I then later that day went for a few drinks at my local to watch football trying to give myself normality and maybe make me feel better, i got home and sent her a huge text saying how its not getting easier i miss her, I love her and sat in my room crying like a bitch when i talk to my drunk mother who text her calling her a heartless that i'm going through it too but that we are all here for her. In hindsight me drinking, and telling my mother was probably a bad call.
Question is what do i do? | girlfriend broke up with me after she miscarried, how can i get her back and what can i do to support her. |
t3_y0nk7 | relationships | I (27F) moved out of state and haven't seen my family in 3 years. My mom wants to visit and I don't. What should I do? | I had a very difficult life growing up at home and I have never been close to any member of my immediate or extended family. So when I left for San Diego 3 years ago, I really had no desire to ever look back.
I do have some contact with family. My mom calls me every month and I listen to her talk for 30 minutes, then I tell her I'm doing okay and hang up. I don't particularly enjoy her phone calls, as they usually end up making me feel guilty or stressed about her problems-of-the-month. I'm friends with most of my extended family on Facebook, whatever that's worth.
My mom, who has been in and out of recovery her whole life, finally feels she has got her shit together. She does, relatively. Anyway, she leaves me a voicemail asking me to call ASAP to discuss something "very important" so I immediately return her call.
Turns out, she has a couple hundo she wants to blow on a plane ticket out here. She also wants my live-in boyfriend and I to put her up for 5 days. Boyfriend is a sweetheart, but he's never met her and we live in a small place. I certainly wouldn't want to put *his* mom up for 5 days. I live paycheck-to-paycheck myself, so I don't have the scratch to put her anywhere else.
She started crying a bit on the phone when I wasn't thrilled about the idea. I dunno what to do. I really would be happiest not seeing any family anytime soon, but I know she's my mom and it would hurt her a lot if she knew that. I also think she wants to come out to prove to her estranged daughter that she's a stable adult, which doesn't really take my feelings into consideration.
Anyway, by the time I finished writing this, I pretty much knew what the answer was. I can't tell her not to come out, even if I'm flat broke and staying here would be awkward. I guess I just needed to vent.
Anyone else desert their family and later had to deal with unwanted visitors? | Ex-addict mom wants to visit estranged daughter and stay with her and her live-in boyfriend for 5 days, how to cope? |
t3_22m9um | pettyrevenge | Who's the bitch now? | Hey fellow revenge-lovers, here's a quick one, that happened about an hour ago. The instigator and your hero ~~(OP)~~ are both in college, but let's admit that we all can be juvenile before we go any further.
So, during my P. Chem class, my friend reached over and wrote *Bitch* my big eraser, one of [these] ( to be exact. She even had the gall to do it in blue ink and it was rather unexpected. I was shocked but began calmly planning vengeance all behind a laugh and a smile.
A little later she got hers out, and I commented on our matching erasers. I know an revenge-portunity when I see it, and I knew I had to act fast. It's worth noting here that her label shell is newer and cleaner and mine was a bit ripped and dirty.
While she was packing her stuff when class finished, I switched our erasers, being sure to switch label shells so she wouldn't notice until she got ready to use it again. I have to admit, [I felt like 007 for a moment] ( | Write Bitch on my eraser? ***"Imma show ya who's the bitch!"*** --Lil B the BasedGod |
t3_4erzlm | relationship_advice | The love of my life [25/f] cheated on me [25/m]. Is there any coming back from this? | My girlfriend of close to three years confessed to me that she slept with another man on the weekend. We have both been cheated on in the past and agree that it is one of the worst things you could do to another person. Is there any coming back from this?
Some background: we were friends for a year or so before we decided to try dating. Shortly after, she moved to the other side of the country. I decided to follow her since i didnt have much holding me back and i found a really good job out here. Ever since then, weve been madly in love and do most things together unless work gets in the way. Yes weve had our arguments and arent perfect, but weve always been willing to work on things to make each other happy (i would personally do anything for this woman, up until this weekend she's been magnificent). She has mentioned before that she's not 100% happy with where she's at in life... this mostly stems from hating her job which she finds hard to leave because she's making such good money, but has said that our relationship could use some work too. Last Saturday she went out for a friends birthday and i stayed in because i worked at 645 the next day. A couple days later (she waited until i finished my work rotation) she tells me she slept with one of her friend's friends but barely remembers it as she was extremely intoxicated. I trusted her with the world and never imagined she would do something like this. Now she is pleading for me not to leave her, saying she will do anything to stay with me and won't drink without me ever again. We have an apartment with a ton of stuff weve bought together including four animals, which she will keep all of them (it will also break my heart if i have to leave our dog). Should i give her a chance or no? | gf whom i really love drunkenly cheated on me which is way out of character, wants a second chance and will do anything, would also break my heart to leave our dog |
t3_4o2v9b | relationships | My[26F] BF[27M] grows and smokes marijuana, I don't know how I feel about moving in. | Me and my BF have been dating for almost 2 years now and I recently found out I was pregnant so he's been talking about making space for me and the baby in his home.
We both have great careers and are responsible adults, I have no doubt in my mind that he's a good man and could provide for a family but there's one thing I don't really know if I agree with and that is the fact that he grows and smokes marijuana.
We're not in a legal state so my main concern is if someone finds out. We've talked about it a bit but he got a little upset that I didn't feel 100% comfortable around it.
Now his reasoning is that he uses it for medical reasons, he has anxiety and depression and doesn't want to be on medication and that he doesn't want to have to through a dealer due to safety reasons. He also argued that he only grows 3 plants maximum at a time and that his grow area is behind a locked door, away from where anyone would ever need to be. He threw in that he doesn't smoke inside and would never have marijuana around our child nor be stoned in front of our child.
He's also been thinking about transferring to a legal state so that he can grow without worry and experience a state outside of where he was born, but I don't think I'm ready to move. My family is here and I'm comfortable.
What do you guys think? | Boyfriend wants me to move in with him but him growing/smoking marijuana makes me worried. He also wants to move out of state but I don't know if I want to. |
t3_1ygtcd | relationships | Me early thirties F, him mid thirties M, he's my ex (together for 7 years), we haven't spoken for ~7 years. He's going to be at a conference I've got coming up. Not sure what to do. | That pretty well sums it up. Should I email him before hand...just like 'Uh, so yeah...things are going well, hope you're good, guess I'll see you at [Conference] in a few weeks!'
When it ended, it wasn't pretty. We both did things I'm sure we both regret (I do, anyway...I said some pretty awful stuff to him). We were together for a really long time, lived together for four years. I'm happy in my life now...this isn't a 'do we get back together' kind of thing AT ALL. But, it's going to be weird and I really don't want it to be weird. Because we were together so long and loved each other, sure, but mostly because I'm giving a talk and knowing he's there is going to make it really hard to focus on that. Thoughts? | Long term relationship ex is going to be at conference I'm giving a talk at, we haven't spoken in 7 years. Things didn't end well. What do? |
t3_1kk8zr | relationships | Unsure if I [30F] am still in love with my SO [30M]. | We've been together 10 years with the exception of 2 breaks. The first one was about 4 years ago when I broke up with him due to feeling like he wasn't putting in his share of money or chores for everyday living. I also had this nagging feeling that I needed to be single for a bit in my 20's or I would regret it later. I just didn't want to have anyone to answer to and wanted to be on my own. After a few months we got back together and were happy.
The most recent break happened a few months ago and this time he broke up with me due to my alcohol abuse. After multiple attempts to quit (though half-heartedly) he finally left because he didn't want to be with me if I'm going to keep drinking. He has always been very supportive, he's gone to AA meetings with me and wants to help in any way he can. I finally started seeing a counselor and went to the doc to get a checkup. I'm really trying to quit this time and have been doing good the past couple weeks. Because of this he came back to live with me.
I know I love him. I enjoy being with him. But sometimes I just feel resentful toward him and I'm not sure why. I find myself making semi-negative remarks or finding something wrong that he did that I complain to him about. Sometimes I think I would like to just be on my own again but the fact that I love him, am most comfortable around him, and connect with him make me think why would I give that up? After being apart for a long time I figured I would be excited to see him again but it was just regular. A little happy maybe but not excited. I'm not sure if I'm in love anymore or if this is just how it is after being in a long-term relationship. | Feeling like I may not be in love with my bf anymore but unsure if it's just typical feelings of being in a long-term relationship. |
t3_z37p8 | relationships | I turned a guy down and I regret it. Can I contact him online? [20F, 25M] | I work at a gym where I get hit on by a lot of customers. I was in a relationship for the last 6 months, so when one of the members asked me on a date on Sunday, I declined.
On Monday, I found my boyfriend cheating on me and we broke up quickly. I want to see if this guy is still interested in hanging, but I haven't seen him at the gym since. I wanted to send him a facebook message, but his profile is private.
I'm trying to decide whether to friend him, then send a message, or just wait to see him at the gym again.
I know it seems quick, but my ex cheated on me. I'm not going to wallow in self-pity, i'd rather just get back on the horse and not give him any more time. | Turned a guy down because I was in a relationship, now I'm single and want to see if he's interested still. |
t3_39lwes | relationships | Me [28F] and date [30M] and his long time Ex. | Story: Dated this guy for 3 weeks (met online). (2nd week into dating) Took him to a rooftop dinner in this remote area. As we were leaving we bumped into his long time ex that he has dated on and off for 10 years. Few days later, we had a chat. He told me the back story that he broke up with her 3 times in the past 10 years. Moved to the big city in Feb this year in hopes to reconnect with her, she refused since she didn't trust him. Since we bumped into her, he realized he wasn't over her, and mentioned that if there was the slightest chance for him to get her back he needed to try. So he went to see her after he chatted with me on the phone (Tuesday). I wished him luck and told him he should do what makes him happy.
I like this guy, I really enjoy companionship and his personality was very fitting to my taste. Honestly, what a selfish idiot, putting this girl through 3 break ups and wanting to get back with her again. And honestly, I'm an idiot because I have this strong intense feeling in my chest of wanting to ask him how it went that night. I still like him, I feel like I'm willing to see him again if he got rejected by her...really tempted to message him.
How do I get over this intense feeling of wanting to connect with him again? Logically, I know this is not good for me, emotionally, I can't see that. EUGH | Guy I dated for 3 weeks decides to try and reconnect with his ex of 10 years. I want to know how it went because I still fancy him. How to get over this? |
t3_3lutar | relationships | My future father-in-law [72M] constantly gives my fiance [27M] and I [26F] financial advice that we are not interested in. Fiance says it's easier to just smile and nod, but it gets on my nerves. | My fiance and I are pretty well financially. His father has some idea of his income, but seems to have no idea of my income. He recently made a comment suggesting that he thinks I make less than 30k a year, apparently having no idea how lucrative my field is (I make six figures, so does fiance). We have good savings for our age and income, no debt and we max out our retirement options (and then some). We aren't perfect but we are doing well. My father and brother are both financial advisers with decades of experience so we have plenty of professional help.
My future father-in-law, meanwhile, makes poor financial decisions. He is 72 with minimal retirement savings, has lost hundreds of thousands to scams and bad investments, etc. You might think he'd be giving us advice based on what he's *learned* but no, he's giving us the same advice that he got him to the same poor position he's in today. For example, he says we are saving *too much* for retirement, says only an idiot buys a used car instead of a new one, etc. He literally had a car repossessed 3 months ago because he bought a brand new sports car he couldn't afford, and is criticizing us for not spending more.
My fiance admits his dad is in no position to give financial advice, but says that arguing will just create a rift - we should just smile and nod to minimize the lecture.
Personally I am really getting sick of it. This man as ruined himself financially many times and still wants others to follow his lead.
How do I put an end to the bad advice? He is a great guy otherwise and fun to be around, but any time he brings up money I end up in a bad mood. I'd be happy if we never discussed finances with him again. | My fiance's father makes horrible financial decisions yet insists on giving us (bad) financial advice. Fiance says to just grin and bear it to keep the peace, but I'm sick of it. |
t3_2mebec | relationships | Me [16 M] my [15 M] childhood friend revealed to me the other day that he's been browsing 8chan. Should I be worried about him? | This one might not be too serious, but I'm pretty worried. I know 8chan is a misogynist shithole and I don't want him to be corrupted by red pill bullshit, especially as young as he is. He seems to browse mostly /b for funny pics, but he said he likes /v too. I didn't ask him much about it, seeing as the gist of my understanding of 8chan came from a Gawker article. I've done more research now though, enough that I'm fairly sure it's not a good place to be. Should I be worried? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing? | My buddy is on 8chan, mostly for funny pictures, I don't want him to get addicted to the red pill. |
t3_3f4yaq | relationships | My [33M] wife [30F] of 3+ years wants divorce, but wants me to continue to help her pay rent until end of lease 6+ months. | My wife 'fell out of love' with me and wants a divorce. The first two years of our marriage were rocky with moving in together and having a baby. We stubbornly argued and her complaint was I never comforted her afterward and wasn't physically affectionate enough. This last year of marriage she was emotionally distant so I should have known this was coming but it still hurts.
I begged her for a second chance which she reluctantly gave me and I was on hand and foot for her and she was still emotionally distant. A few weeks later she asked for the divorce again, nothing I could say or apparently do would change her mind.
So now we have a mess separating our finances, figuring out shared custody of our child and dealing with the house we rent.
We CAN NOT break our lease without paying an extra one months rent to put the property back up for showing. We must continue to pay rent until they find another renter or until end of our lease at which point the fee would be returned to us. If a renter is found we would not have the fee returned.
Money is tight, we don't have the money to pay for the fee out of pocket without getting a small loan, which my wife absolutely refuses to do. She thinks we should just ride out the lease for the next 6 months together and go our separate ways then.
Being around her is heartbreaking for me. I still love her, I would do anything for her and despite telling her and trying to show her she is done. I don't know that I can get over her without separating myself and I cant afford to move out and help her pay rent which she insists upon. I need advice. | Wife wants divorce, insists on me helping pay rent for next 6 months until end of lease. I need to move on but cant afford to do both. Need advice. |
t3_szaei | relationships | Met her on OkCupid. I thought it was going well. What do I do? | I met a girl on OKC. We hit it off and dated exclusively for a few months and have now been in a relationship for a few months. As demanded by the mod I'm 29 and she's 24.
When we started dating exclusively I disabled my account. I felt bad ignoring messages from people and it just didn't seem right. My GF saw that I'd done this and told me she'd set her account to "seeing someone" but she didn't want to disable it because she spent lots of time making her profile.
At the time I didn't really care. I wasn't sure anything was going to come of our relationship and I didn't disable mine to prompt her to follow suit. The thing is that now we're a couple. She's met all my best friends. We spend most of our free time together.
Tonight a friend who met my GF yesterday who is also on OKC asked me if I'm aware that my GF has an OKC profile that lists her as "available" and says that she's looking for long-term dating, short-term dating, etc. and replies often. My friend also said that it showed her being active as recently as tonight.
I can't really sleep now. I don't know what to do. I thought this was going really well. If she was serious about this relationship, surely she'd at least have updated her profile to say she's seeing someone like she even said she did. She's very meticulous, so I doubt it was just something she overlooked.
I guess I'm being naive, but I'm not really sure what to think. Should I just call it off now? It was going really well, but this seems like a big deal. Any advice? | Friend saw GF's OkCupid profile which says she's active on there, available and replies often. Not sure what to do. |
t3_44dp83 | tifu | TIFU by encontering devil | So today a big friend of my mother died by ~~death note~~ heart stroke, and in front of my mother at work, she was crying a lot, all day, so we decided to go dinner somewhere to make she feels better, and try to forget a little about it. In the middle of the way we encountered with an old family friend that people call by the nickname "devil" (don't ask me why, it's something i ever was curious about but never asked, and don't think i will can ask for some time) so after little small caht we debanded, as we continued on the way to the restaurant, I with my innability to sense the mood properly and in the hope of saying something nice to make my mom feels better, shouted: "wow, the world sure is a bizarre place, your friend died and it was we that meet the devil.", it makes the situation worse as my mother become angry and looked at me like i said something terrible, and people said i was insensible, but at the time i haven't understood what i did wrong, (i'm really bad at feeling the mood and acting accordingly), only some time ago i finnaly noticed what i have done, and why everybody was angry, and that another example of how whenever i try to help in something i aways end making it worse. | Friend of my mother died, everyone was sad, i said something horrible withuot noticing while trying to make them feel better (specially my mother), everyone become upset, now i'm on reddit. |
t3_333x6h | relationship_advice | [26f] I want to stop having feelings for my friend [30m] | I met him when he was the boyfriend of a friend of mine. We became friends in the process even after when they broke up the girl moved away from our social circle. He moved to a different country due to work and the long-distance destroyed his relationship with the girlfriend. I was one of the people who consoled him during this time.
We became close friends online. He was there for me for my relationship ups and downs and was just someone who listened to me. Eventually I ended up moving to the same country he is in now due to different circumstances, but in a different city.
I don't know what happened, but when I saw him for the first time since he moved away, I think I developed a crush.
Thing is, he's a really nice guy. He's funny, thoughtful and I never realized how his presence kept me sane for the past few years. We try to see each other every few months and we talk to each other every other day about anything.
But I don't want to be with him BECAUSE I just don't feel comfortable dating someone's ex, even if I don't speak to her anymore.
And now he has interest to another common friend of ours who is in the same social circle, and I seriously just want him to be happy with her. The problem is that I at the worst time am starting to have feelings for him and I don't know what to do.
Help. | I have feelings for a friend's ex who has interest for another friend of ours and I'd like to stop this feeling |
t3_4gfqq1 | relationships | My [23 F] friend [24 F] of 1 year caused $3700 worth of damage to my car and did not offer to help pay for the repairs. | About a month ago, my friends, Jasmine and Lilly, and I were on a road trip and decided to drive my car. We took turns driving and when it was Jasmine's turn I took a nap in the backseat. Jasmine woke me up to inform me that the car was breaking down. I saw that the engine was overheating and smoking from the vents. When we took the next exit it completely stopped and we had to push it to the side of the road. A police officer stopped to help us out and he said the coolant levels were fine. Then we had it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic said that the engine was really overheated, the radiator was leaking, and the ignition coils had melted in spark plug tubes. From what I gathered, Jasmine didn't understand what the temperature gauge on the dashboard meant and kept driving even as the engine temperature kept rising. The estimate they gave me for the repair was $3700. Even though Jasmine was driving, she did not offer to help pay for the repairs at all. In the end I had to take out a loan to cover the cost of the repairs.
We are all college students working part time so $3700 is a lot of money for us. I had previously just had to spent most of my savings on tuition and buying a used car (this one).
I'm wondering if I should ask her to help me pay for it. Even though it was my car, she was the driver and it was because of her lack of driving knowledge that caused the engine damage, so I feel like she should at least help pay. I haven't asked her because I don't want to ruin our friendship which I cherish greatly, but at the same time, it's a lot of money and it's going to be stressful for me in the long run. Do you think she should have offered in the first place? Should I ask her to help pay back the loan now?
What should I do? | Friend was driving car, caused a significant amount of damage and didn't offer to help pay. Now I am stuck paying off a large loan. |
t3_1qenem | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] 1.5 years, Is it normal to frequently fall in/out of love with your SO? | My boyfriend (20) and I (20) have been dating for a little over a year and a half. For both of us, this is our first LTR. The first year was great, but at the beginning of the summer I started to doubt whether or not I was still in love with him. I attributed my doubts to the end of our honeymoon phase, and eventually I was reassured that I did love him. However, since then, my doubts will return every once in a while. I know that it's normal to have doubts like this at this stage in our relationship, but sometimes I wonder if I'm going back and forth too often to just dismiss it.
I feel even more guilty because he is very affectionate and it just seems like he's still in the honeymoon stage. While I love it, I feel uncomfortable returning the same level of affection because I'm not naturally a very affectionate person.
Another thing is, we both know and acknowledge that we're not going to get married someday. I want a more traditional married/family life whereas he doesn't really want to do the whole family thing. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to end the relationship now to avoid future frustration, but I still want him in my life and I can't imagine not talking to him everyday.
I have expressed all of this to him before, which partly led to us very nearly breaking up about a month ago. Sometimes I think that it's just taking us a long time to adjust to life after the honeymoon phase.
What I'm really looking for is some insight. This is my first relationship, so I don't really know how normal this is. Please share your experiences! | I've been having doubts about whether or not I'm in love with my boyfriend of a year and a half. How normal is this? |
t3_1yqee1 | relationships | I[18M] am struggling how to handle my long distance [18F] friend | So reddit, I am in an interesting situation....
A few months ago I went onto my college classes Facebook page (for next fall) and I noticed they had a post where you could put your social media info so we could meet our potential classmates.
Now I am generally a very shy and reserved guy but I said "what the heck Ill try and talk to some of these girls" anyways I met this girl and we talked for a month or two. I have never met a girl that I connected with so much. She seemed to be almost perfect for me.
Now comes the problem. She lives around ~3 hours away from me and we are both extremely busy people. Plus our parents are very protective. But eventually I managed to make my way up to her for the day. I had an amazing time and she seemed to as well. Then the next day she told me that her feelings had changed. I was crushed. I had done everything for this girl. Anyways she said her feelings had changed for me but she still wanted to be friends. Now being a person who likes to hear feedback from people I asked why she thought her feelings had changed. She said that it was because I had never had a girlfriend and she had dated a few guys before. Now I don't know about you guys but when I heard that I was confused and furious. To me that reason just didn't make sense. Now here I am sitting here trying to stay friends with her cause at this point she is easily my best and most trusted friend and I don't want to burn any bridges before college.
Please help me out here. I don't know what to do. Should I keep trying to win her? Do you think if I gave her a second impression she would change? Do you have any tips to make it seem like I am more of a veteran? | Met girl on Facebook group. Really liked her. Met her for the first time. Her feelings changed. What do I do/What can I do to win her back? |
t3_qc17v | AskReddit | Filed a complaint with the BBB about Best Buy voiding my warranty based on speculation. Got a coupon for the full amount of my computer + tax! | Just wanted to provide a friendly APB to everyone, going to the BBB when you have been honestly wronged will help you get the redemption you deserve!
The story: I had a computer that was liquid damaged (soda and vodka). I took it to geek squad because I had black tie protection that covered liquid damage. They sent it out and I waited for it to come back. They told me it was a Bio-hazard and the warranty is void. I went into the store and the manager showed me the transcript that said "product smells like urine, send back to store (some initial I forget) as bio-hazard. I told them that they cannot just assume it is urine and then void my warranty. The response from Best Buy management was "I'm sorry, that's what we have to do". Geek squad service center does not have any way to contact them directly, but you can talk to Best Buy customer service.
Weeks went by and I stewed in anger. A friend of mine recommended going to the BBB about it. I put if off for a few more days and decided to try it out. Within a week I received a call where the gentleman (who worked for Best Buy) informed me he was not going to make me go through all the geek squad rigamarole (can't believe I spelled that right) and sent me an email with a coupon for the amount of my computer plus tax. No questions asked. They restored my faith in Best Buy. Never going to that store ever again though. | I spilled a cocktail on my computer. Best Buy said it was pee and did not honor my warranty. A week after contacting BBB, Best Buy gave me full price back |
t3_3xtcpy | legaladvice | My girlfriend was raped two years ago and wants to come forward. Help?? | Hey, all. Before you continue reading, this is about a rape, so tread carefully.
I'm an 18 year old dude who is currently living with his, also, 18 year old girlfriend in Houston, Texas.
Two years ago, my girlfriend was forcibly moved from sleeping onto the couch, and was forced to receive anal sex from her "boyfriend". That puts her at an age of 16, which again, so was he.
She repeatedly told him no, and that she didn't want to do it, but he did it any way.
I was the first person she told, and she told me about five months ago. Since then, she's finally informed her mom, dad, and one of her best friends.
All of us want to step forward and do something to put this guy away, or severely penalize him in the game of life, but with this being two years ago, it seems like it'd be a whole lot of "he said, she said". | Girlfriend got raped two years ago, but now she wants to step forward. How could we make a solid case? |
t3_2ktyia | relationships | [19M] with my new girlfriend [18F] spending time at my house for the first time? What to do? | Hello all, so this weekend, my girlfriend will be over at my house (12-1AM EST) It's strange, but I'm kind of insecure about my room I guess? Lol I don't have a TV anymore (gave it away, as I don't use it) I don't know what we could possibly do? I don't want to just bring her over here for sex, you know? The only thing I could think of is going out for a walk or something, then coming back and having sex? Lol
She strictly told me she wants to stay in my room, so it isn't like we could go in the living room or something. (we may, eventually).
I apologize if this was confusing or difficult to read. | My girlfriend is coming over for the first time @ 1AM but I have no idea what we could do other than talk or have sex. Would that just be enough & am I overthinking the whole situation? |
t3_2v3jsg | relationships | Me(17/m)broke up with gf(17/f) of two years.Feeling lonely have no idea how to get a new one | So me an my ex now of decided to breakup a month ago we were together for more than two years ,both of us were each other's first,we kinda started alienating two or three montgs before we(she) decided to end it as of now she has kinda moved on, she won't respond to my texts,mails,calls etc and told me not to contact her anymore and was not intrested in even being friends,she has helped get through anxiety and paranoria over the past years and i can't thank her more for the way she took care of me,the thing is i am kinda lonely now and it sucks i do want to get back there and start dating again but the issue is i have no idea how to approach and tactfully ask a girl out,my last and only relationship was kinda a mutual based one i never asked her out and we never went on a official date it just kinda happened and i went with the flow....i don't even know what to talk about casually with girls during normal conversation's....i kinda run out of steam, Pls help me :) | no idea what to talk about with girls since i broke up with my long time gf of over two years and over the years i just went with the flow |
t3_3jx7uf | relationships | How do I (25m) ask my roommates to be quiet after 11PM? | I (25m) have two roommates. A 54 year old man and his 57 year old sister who just moved into the house. I am in a tough place financially, which is why I'm in this crappy situation until I get back on my own feet. My rent here is cheap and I plan to move out as I can.
They are extremely loud, ungraceful and obnoxious with their volume levels. They are constantly yelling and making loud noises while playing with the dogs until 12-1AM every day. I try to be in bed and asleep by 11PM and simply cannot sleep because of the noises. I want to tell them in a tactful manner because they are related and I don't want it to cause a rift between them and I. What's a good way to do this? | My roommates are obnoxiously loud until 1am every day and it's ruining my sleep schedule. What's a tactful way to ask them to show some respect and shut up after 11pm? |
t3_52uxjl | relationships | I [21F] have concerns about my boyfriend [28M] feeling insecure on the relationship. | We will have been together for 3 years in a couple of weeks. We moved in together at the beginning of summer. Since the beginning he has expressed worries that I will leave him for "someone more appropriate."
We are best friends and have amazing sexual and emotional intimacy yet he has a sense of impending doom. We have both turned to some of the NSFW subreddits as a coping mechanism.
Not to long ago I found him looking into personal ads. He was sleeping on the couch and I was in the bedroom (aircon is in the living room). I wanted to masturbate and his phone was the only thing with porn in the room. When I double tapped on the home button... a screen shot of a horny MILF's number popped up.
I ran into the living room, phone in hand and he lied to my face about not contacting any of the ads. While they were all bots it made me uncomfortable with what I am offering to the relationship.
We have addressed the issue as well as we could. We agreed he should go to therapy.
I constantly feel a mix of mistrust and walking on eggshells. I'm understanding, but he hasn't been. Recently he has been cold, going from "I want to know everything you do" to "I really don't care." We talked about it today after he had been especially distant.
Over dinner he told me he wanted to quit therapy. I can't tell if he has had any improvements because it is not my place to pry. I only look at his open apps when I look at his phone. While I don't like what I see, I get it. | wants to make it work, age difference, trust issues, double sided insecurity, change in behavior, has expressed that I'm not as hot as others ~porn addiction? |
t3_1d0e6m | AskReddit | husband wants me to meet a female friend of his but I have no interest in meeting her. He wanted to date her years ago... | Me and husband have been arguing about this situation: We have been married for two years plus, suddenly this "friend" wants to meet and see him and meet me. I have no interest into it. Am I wrong? He told me he tried to be more than friends but she had no interest about it. It seems odd to me that all this time she didn't contact him (she had a bf) now she's single and all the sudden she remember my husband existed? I don't have any interest of being her friend. It makes me mad my husband did not tell me he had been talking to her. We even went to a festival this past week and they agreed into "all of the sudden" find each other there so we could me without me knowing that what's going to happen. | husband wants me to meet his female friend but I have no interest. they tried to set me up to meet her. why is he trying to impose a friendship? |
t3_q3c30 | dogs | A weird behavior surfaced today... | I've made posts similar to this before but this is a little different than what i was afraid of.
Originally i was worried my 6 month old aussie was developing damaging stress related issues from separation. Since, he has relaxed a bit on the whole depression before we leave and over excitement on return thing.
He is very polite and friendly around kids, maybe even more so than adults. Tonight however i picked up my friends son to say goodbye and Wess just happened to be leashed and attached to my GF. He went mad. Absolutely nuts trying to get to me and when he did he tried nipping at my cargo. We tried three more times with people of different size finally ending with my GF herself and he would always cause a ruckus ranging from as bad as nipping to as mild and just wedging his head between us.
Tried this experiment with a 3 month old Husky pup, no reaction. Tried with my moms 5 year old golden doodle, no reaction.
He only gets upset when other PEOPLE contact me. Size wasn't really an issue. | should i worry? Should i force him to watch me hugging people and such? It really would be impossible to ignore. He's getting pretty big and knows how to make is presence known. |
t3_2t9c3l | tifu | TIFU: Interviewer found my Deviantart | So I'm sitting in an interview (graphic designer) with a company's management team. They want to overhaul the look of their brand - and I'm in the running for the contract-to-hire position. After looking through the portfolio of recent work I brought them, the CMO says my work isn't in line with their industry and is this all I have. I said no and they can find more work on my website (myname.com) So the owner of the company googles my name on the big screen TV at the end of the conference table and below my website is some images results of my work on different websites: flickr, DA, etc. He clicks on a wallpaper design that takes him to my deviant art ... and I start getting nervous.
He mentions my username oddly and asks if that's me (my watermark is in the corner so I can't deny it). I agree and he goes up to my gallery and one of the top images is a demotivational poster of Martin Luther King Jr. giving his I Have A Dream Speech ... while holding a pokeball.
The caption reads "I Have A Dream" ... "To be the best, like no one ever was". He then reads it out loud and looks around the table confused. I calmly follow his gaze and see everyone with scrunched up looks as well like they are trying to figure it out (no one in the room is under 40) except this intern at the end of the table and he is trying to keep it together. So then the owner looks at me and goes " is he holding an easter egg?" He looks around the table again for clarification, "why is MLK holding an easter egg?" At which point the intern falls over laughing, I turn three shades of red, an awkward minute passes, and he shuts down the computer and "moves on".
First thing I did when I got home was scrub the internet of all my accounts not hosting professional work. I did not leave that meeting with a contract. | Interviewer found MLK holding a pokeball poster I designed 6 years ago on my Deviant Art account instead of going to my actual website hosting my professional portfolio. |
t3_3dl25y | offmychest | I am I crazy or is she crazy? | So basically had a chill day today. Went to work, got off, cleaned and moved some stuff around to make the place look better. Yesterday, I was expecting visitors and the apartment was a mess so I spent a good chunk of my afternoon (after work) cleaning and doing dishes while my gf was at work for another 3 hrs.
Today, she asks me if I can wash her shirt for work. It's a white dress shirt but we don't own much white clothes so we have to handwash that shirt. I HATE washing her shirt. I already do most of the cleaning at home (I always do garbage, most of the time I do dishes, and we kinda split the cooking). So today I kinda said, "no... I can teach you how to wash it, its not that hard" but she refuses to do so. But, the nice guy that I am, I agreed to as long as she makes quesadillas. I go on and wash it with a bummed look. She comes in and ask for a kiss and I said no. As I was washing the shirt, I felt really shitty. I felt like I am taken for granted. So I told her, "I feel like I am doing most of the chores around the house... you need to start cleaning more." She immediately turns around and SLAMS the door as hard as she could. It truthfully scared me. I was confused. How could she possibly be mad at me for simply asking her to help around the house more? Now she is in the room and I'm in the living room typing this confused. A little advice would be greatly appreciated. If I am in the wrong here, I accept. I would just like to know if I should be upset or not :/ | I do most of the chores around the house and so i asked my gf if she could help around a little more, so she turns around and slams the door |
t3_13qwqq | AskReddit | I know many redditors are non-believers/pragmatic, but what are some incidents you have experienced that you can only chalk up to being supernatural/other-worldly? | Alright, so after reading the strange coincidences thread, I figured this would be just as interesting. Here's mine:
As a young child (maybe 7 or 8), my father and I would often go to the park, and he would let me play at the playground while he read a book on a nearby bench. Well, everyday we went to this park, I was approached by an elderly man who ALWAYS wore the same distinct checkered overalls, black bow tie, a fedora, and dress shoes. This is not what I remembered most, though. The pallor of his eyes was incredibly eerie, and even as a child I knew it was unnatural. He would always ask me how my day was and came across as a very wise man. He would give me advice whenever I had problems at school, etc. Well, this went on for nearly a year, and one day this seemingly all knowing stranger suggested that I tell my father to see a doctor about the pains he had been feeling in his chest.
After being dumbfounded that I knew about his discomfort, he immediately visited the doctor and after a few tests, he was told that he had severe plaque build up in his arteries. Following this revelation, I described the old man to my dad, and he freaked the fuck out. Apparently, this was the exact outfit my grandfather wore when he died three years prior to my birth. My dad made sure to look after me on the play ground next time we went to the park. I never saw that old man again, but I will never forget him. My dad still thinks I'm a freak, and I still play the life saving card. | My dad's life was saved by someone who was, for as far as I know, an apparition of my grandfather. |
t3_2tyq8l | tifu | TIFU by pulling instead of pushing. | Hate to say it but sadly it wasn't me, but there isn't a subreddit called todaymyfriendfuckedup so here you go. I go to a brazilian, english speaking highschool. We were reenacting a scene from A Midsummer Night's dream. This play has a love triangle and the teacher and a student were pretending to be Demetrius and Helena (Helena loves Demetrius, but Demetrius loves another woman.) The student was Demetrius and the teacher was Helena. The teacher was begging him to love her and that he would be happier with her instead of the other woman while the student was like pushing her away. (All acting). Then the teacher was on her knees infront of the kid and said, "Oh, I have an idea, push my head back." The student is Brazilian though and in Portuguese push sounds a lot like the word that means pull. So this kid thought for a second then pulled the teacher's face into his crotch (Thankfully not all the way). | While reenacting a play a brazilian student pulled the teacher head into his crotch when the teacher said to push her head back. In portuguese 'push' sounds like the word that means pull. |
t3_2m1tsq | tifu | TIFU by procrastinating | Well Reddit, today I fucked up.
My girlfriend and I are both freshmen in university, and right now it is mid-term and essay season. So our essay was originally due last week on Wednesday, November 5th. My girlfriend and I started on this essay on Monday, November the 3rd. So here we are, on Monday, slaving away at this essay till we get around halfway done. We decide to save the rest for Tuesday. So Tuesday comes around and an announcement is sent out saying that the essay has been extended a week. So now the essay is due in 8 days, great! So instead of getting our essays done early we procrastinate a week to today (Tuesday November 11th).
So we sit down with our laptops side by side and begin typing away. Then I reach for my water, miss, and spilled water all over my girlfriend's laptop. There was panic, tears, and now a laptop being held upside down with a hairdryer blowing towards it.
The laptop screen turned on!
Then off again and now here we are. The MacBook is now laying on the bed upside-down, my girlfriend is writing her essay on my laptop (thank god for google docs) while I sit here on my phone waiting for her to be done so I can finish my essay.
Looks like it's going to be a long night, and a lot out of my savings. | spilled water over my girlfriend's laptop, have to wait till she's done her essay till I can write mine, gonna pay to fix or for a new over-priced tumblr machine. |
t3_4hui65 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [23 F] of 1 year, are both Indian and are being asked by the parents to have a long-distance marriage. | My girlfriend and I were introduced by our parents and we've happily been dating for almost a year. She lives 400 km (250 mi) away when she is at university and we've been visiting each other almost every weekend during the school year and 2-3 times a week during the summers when she returns home. We care a lot about each other and would definitely like to get married in about 1.5-2 years. Our parents however, would absolutely like us to get engaged in a few months and then get married within a year after that (by the end of summer 2017).
If we get married within a year, she will still have 2 years of school left and we would have to do a "long distance marriage" for 8 months of her school year. We can live together for summers, but I am still nervous about being apart for two of the most important, formative years of our marriage.
Is this feasible? Has anyone been married for 2 or more years and lived separately for several months? How did you make it work if so? What are the risks involved? | Being asked to get married within a year and live separately for almost 2 years until girlfriend finishes school. Is that impossible? |
t3_a2m2a | AskReddit | Is car insurance really worth it? | It obviously depends on the car, the person and the rates, but is it really worth it?
I'm 17, with one accident. So obviously my rates are ridiculously high. The thing is that my car of choice in an older model [Hyundai Tiburon] Mine was 8k, which is the average cost depending on the condition. I'm paying almost 2k every 6 months. That means in 1.5years I'll have paid enough on insurance to afford a second car. I only use my car to get to work, school, and my friends house on the weekends. All of which are within 10 miles of my house. I'm actually a very safe driver, and I have discovered the miracle of extra large aftermarket rearview mirrors. You can see everything and have no blind spots. Anyways, back to my question. Is it worth 3,500$ a year for the average coverage I get, and the endless shit from my parents for the one accident? or would it be better to pay for shitty ass coverage and just not crash into things? | I have to pay through the ass for car insurance on an old fairly inexpensive car. Do i really need insurance that is half the cost of my car every year? |
t3_2gj51s | relationships | My girlfriend [20 F] of 1 year is really bad at conversations and it's starting to get on my nerves. I'm [M 21] really getting tired of it. | I have been with my girlfriend for one year, everything is amazing. The sex, trust, the intamacy, and the communication... etc. But there is one flaw that's starting to really tick me and makes me super annoyed and a bit angry. I honestly don't even know how I dealt with this for a year. She does not know how to have a conversation with me or anyone else. I know for a fact it doesn't just happen with me, but it happens to everyone else also. I'm not gonna break up just because of something like this, but as time goes on, I know I'm gonna get tired of it.
I have noticed a pretty amazing pattern which made me not surprised. Everybody she has talked to, they have left and not bothered with her or continue talking to her, and usually the group she hangs out with in the morning doesn't really bother to talk to her because they know they just can not have a conversation with her.
What REALLY ticks me off, is the fact that I HAVE LITERALLY SAID EVERY. SINGLE. QUESTION. There hasn't been a day where she has asked me a single question to continue a conversation in months. she will be super quiet in skype calls also, and if I don't say anything, she says everytime "Why are you so quiet." Everytime I hear those words, I just wanna leave.
And no, I know for a fact shes not cheating, so that's not an option.
I have brought up this issue at least 4 times, and nothing has changed.
I don't know what to do, I know thats her personality, her shyness, and everything and I can't change who she is, and some people are genuinely like that, but I just need help.
Thank you | Girlsfriend does not know how to have a conversation, it happens with everyone, not just me. It's starting to get on my nerve. |
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