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t3_1sfxn5 | AskReddit | Has your SO ever not gotten you a birthday present? How did you handle it? | This happened a month ago:
My boyfriend and I had been dating for 10 months and he is the sweetest, most considerate guy ever. I'd been dropping hints about different things I wanted for my birthday for weeks and he kept saying that he didn't know what to get me, even the day before but I thought he was kidding and he came the next day and didn't get me a present...
I got upset, but it was my birthday so I didn't want to fight so I talked to him later saying that I wish he had gotten me something. | My boyfriend didn't get me a birthday present and I didn't break up with him because we've been dating a year and I love him. How would you react? |
t3_2jdivw | relationships | My GF [17/F] of Two Years and I[18/M] have hit a Wall. | At the beginning of last year, a year into our relationship, my GF decided to get birth control. She informed me of the situation and I stood by it because it is her body and her decision.
But What I nor her knew was that it would have the side effect of causing her to be on her period on and off for the last year. To elaborate on that point she will have maybe a span of two to three days where she is not on her period per month During this period she does not have any sort of sex drive another side effect of the birth control. She has been trying different pills and medications to find out if there is a medicine that balances the hormones and ultimately end her period. So far no medications have really worked more then a week.
Through out all of this I have been supportive always coming over when she needs someone and buying her flowers and chocolate when she is feeling down. But in the course of the last three or four months we have an argument a day usually over something really insignificant. Almost every time I try and talk to her about trying not to fight or ask her for moral support she shuts down and acts incredibly passive aggressive. At this point I do not know what to do I love her a lot and I am just stuck in between a rock and a hard place. | GF and I are no longer intimate due to birth control and she has become incredibly irate with me and It is affecting my happiness. |
t3_3q8o37 | relationships | Me [18 M/F] with my [29 M/F] what are the moral dilemmas of age gap relationships and how do you mediate them post breakup? | I was recently broken up with after a year and a half of dating and I am having trouble piecing together the many questions and unsaid words between both of us. Is lack of experience detrimental and is this one of the main motivators for older men to pursue younger, malleable women? How does a man cope with having left a relationship with a younger woman or better yet does he realize the extent of how it will shape and/or affect the younger partner. I'm utterly distraught about the breakup and I do not understand how this has had a minimal to no effect on him. | 29 year old boyfriend broke up with 18 year old girlfriend after a year of dating, how does the younger partner cope? |
t3_1k6szr | relationships | My[19m] ex gf[19F] wants to catch up after 3 weeks NC. How should i reply to keep her interested. | 4 weeks ago my ex and i of 6 months broke up because i was being too controlling(i admit this) so she needed space to herself.
I've maintained No contact for 3 weeks, the last thing she said is that we can have lunch together when we're ready to catch up.
And She just messaged me asking if i want to have lunch tomorrow at work (we work together).
She wanted to stay friends after we broke up but some arguments prevented this.
I want her back desperately but i don't want to come back to her just because she's ready for it, because then she'll know she has leverage over me.
What way can i reply to her wanting to have lunch that will for the first time make me partially in control of what happens with us? | ex gf wants to have lunch after 3 weeks NC, i dont want to catch up just because she's finally ready. How can i respond to put me in control. |
t3_33gbuc | relationships | Me [24 M] think it's time to break up with [22 F] girlfriend of 3 years but anniversary coming up | So my girlfriend and I have been going out for 3 years now, our anniversary is next month. We're both still in college doing an MA(both doing the same one) and are going to be looking to start the "real life" come December. My dream has always been to move to another country which I want to try to do when I graduate. I know that she doesn't want to move far away and probably wouldn't follow me.
Over the past couple months I've just started to feel like I don't love her as much as I used to and that I want to focus on myself more. Because we studied together we also did a lot of stuff together and I really care about her. We also both don't have a huge amount of friends because we moved from different cities to study. So we both relied on each other a lot.
I've also begun to feel her getting even more clingy than before which has been getting on my nerves quite a bit and I just don't feel about her the way I used to. But I feel bad breaking up with her so close to our anniversary or even close after it. The anniversary means a lot to her and she always wants to do something extremely special(which we have in the past two years) but I can't spend $200 every time which I told her.
Summer holidays are also coming up and we won't be spending them together this year so we'll be apart for at least a whole month.
What should I do and how do I go about everything? | Had three really good years with GF but feel it's time to move. Problem: 3 year anniversary is next month and feel bad hurting her |
t3_20q7oi | dating_advice | Advice on being single [30m] and dating multiple women at the same time without getting serious. | After having a history of diving into serious relationships very quickly, I've decided to take a more cautious approach to dating. I've met some girls out and about at bars, and one or two here and there from an online dating site. Have been on multiple dates with all of them, and in any given week I'm talking to and seeing 3-4 women pretty regularly (txting daily, and meeting up about once a week).
What I've found is that is almost every case, the woman is pushing hard to turn a new friendship (or 2-3 dates) into something more serious or exclusive. I have avoided having the talk about being exclusive and just said let's take it slow etc. 5 years ago, I would never have even gone out with another girl after a first date with one. I would have focused and put all my time and effort into only one. My outlook has changed because I really feel like the next serious relationship I have could be "the one" and so I'm being extra careful.
I really enjoy the company of all of them and I would like to remain friends with them, even if romantically it doesn't go anywhere.
What advice would you have for dating people without letting it get too serious, but also not hurting people's feelings? The last girl I dated for about 2 months earlier this year and when I said let's just be friends she was absolutely crushed, crying, and wanted to know why I didn't want to try and see where things would go. In all honesty, she is a great person, and there was nothing wrong with us together. I didn't feel ready, and I didn't think it was fair to her to not commit everything to her and just flake along for months and months. I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I'm having a hard time doing this and putting myself in a position to meet a lot more people and find someone with who I can pursue a real relationship. | Want to branch out and date many women before getting into a relationship, but don't want to hurt feelings or lead anyone on. Need advice. |
t3_2th5mq | relationships | Me [30 M] with my wife [40F] 5 years, having trouble getting past an issue. | Hello,
I am having a hard time getting past something that has happened in my marriage and I would like some help sorting out my feelings. My relationship is generally quite good but this issue is nagging me and I would like to get past it.
A few months ago I found some text messages on my wife's (Sarah) phone from a friend of hers (Charles) that seemed too familiar. She had nicknames for Charles like "babe", "bootylicious" and "the Mr Big of my life". She mentioned that she still thinks of him everyday. They mentioned the good times they had had together. I confronted her about it and she has agreed to break off all contact forever.
While sorting out this issue her relationship to Charles was described to me as a close friend, nearly like the emotional side of a relationship but she insists they weren't physical. He was/still is a married man. My wife lived long distance from him and saw him a few times a year. She hasn't seen him since we've been a couple but had kept contact until I found the messages.
I am having trouble getting past the fact I think she lied about her history with him from before we were together. It sorts of eats at me but there is nothing I can do to confirm one way or another. I need help either fully trusting that he was just a BFF or I need to get past the fact I think she lied. She does not know this issue has been eating at me.
Logically I know it shouldn't matter, I fully believe that in our relationship she has been faithful. I even think I am being obsessive/controlling. I really just want to get past this issue. | I believe my partner has been faithful but I believe she is lying to me about a past relationship where she was a mistress although I may be wrong. Does it even matter and how do I stop thinking about it? |
t3_dex9s | AskReddit | Men of Reddit, I need some safety razor advice. | I've tried:
* a rotary shaver
* Braun foil shaver - I liked the closeness of it, but even after the whole "getting used to" period, my skin did not like it.
* Gillette Fusion and Fusion POWER - I received them for free and they were ok I guess..I like the POWER's pulsing feature...sometimes.
* Schick Hydro 5
I'm currently using the Hydro 5 and I'm really, really tired of these shavers. They don't give me the consistent shave I am looking for and sometimes I end up using a disposable razor because it feels better.
I am currently looking at some Merkur razors but as someone who's never used a safety razor my questions to you guys is: What is the difference between say a $20 razor and a $80 razor? And what blades do you guys use?
For starting out I'm looking to purchase [this razor] and [this variety pack] since I've read a lot of good things about Derby and still want some other ones to try out. | Whats the difference between cheap and expensive razors aside from the feel of the quality(which is a given I suppose)? |
t3_2gu645 | AskReddit | How do I avoid being friend-zoned by a girl who probably thinks I'm gay? (I'm bi.) | I met this girl a few weeks ago working on a project. We really "clicked" in the day or two we were together and she asked If I wanted to get lunch and spend a day together this weekend.
I haven't told her that I'm bi, yet.. as we're still in that getting to know each other phase. Though, ~~most people~~ most girls tend to presume I'm flat out gay. -.-
I'm worried she probably thinks that and just wants to be my friend. I'm normally slightly more attracted to guys and I've never dated a girl before. Though, I'm more attracted to personalities than anything and we have that instant connection you have with one out of every thousand people you come across.
So what things can I do to make it more obvious I want to date her and not be friend-zoned? | Sorta gay guy wants to date girl. Does not know what he's doing. Does not want it to turn into a "gay best friend." (uggh) |
t3_3gug7q | relationship_advice | Me [20/F] is annoyed at boyfriend [23/M] for constantly liking/favouriting random photos of hot scantily clad girls on social media and is considering a break up. | We've been together for almost 5 months and he's the sweetest, most loving and caring boyfriend ever. He cares about me genuinely and not the jealous or possessive controlling type. He would never start a fight or initiate one would always find ways to comfort me when I'm down. We're extremely happy in general, except there's one thing that bothers me to the max.
He keeps liking/favouriting sexy or photos of random hot girls or his friends on Instagram and Twitter. And half of his followings on Instagram are practically hot random scantily clad girls. (Not celebrities but girls that lives around the the city) and I'm not the jealous type either, I give him total freedom to do anything he wants as long as he knows his limits.
I know there's nothing wrong with this and it's selfish of me to find it annoying or make it an issue but it honestly bothers me a lot. So I'm wondering is this a normal thing that guys do? Even though they've got a girlfriend? I don't wanna bring it up cause I don't wanna make it an issue and I don't want to control him but I'm so annoyed to the point where I considered breaking up with him over it because I don't think it's something I can tolerate. (My ex boyfriend never pulled anything like this ) . Is it selfish of me to find this annoying and want to break up over this? | Bf likes/favourites sexy photos of random girls on Instagram and Twitter and I'm considering a break up. help???? |
t3_24wxyv | relationships | I (20F) have had a mentor (34M) for the past 4 years and last weekend we hooked up. | When I was 16, we worked together at a camp and pretty immediately got pretty close as we would carpool home everyday and I would tell him about my family issues, etc., and he would give me great advice. We haven't worked together for 2 years but whenever I'm upset, a few times a year, I'll give him a call and we'll meet so I can vent to him because I always feel better afterwards. We're both cuddly people and he's always been a shoulder to cry on, so physicality has always been part of the relationship.
Recently we've started just hanging out and talking even if things aren't bad for me, which I love because he's a great person. The most recent time, we were talking on his bed and cuddling (normal) and he turned his face towards me and we started kissing. It ended up in awesome sex.
Afterwards he was concerned for me as he was worried about my age, but we talked and I told him I was fine, in fact great. He told me he'd been attracted to me since I was 16 but that I was definitely too young then, and that he hadn't planned on what had happened the other night to happen.
Although I was fine in the moment, it's starting to feel weird. I'd always figured it was a platonic relationship. Should I be worried about this? He's one of the nicest, most caring people I've ever met but I guess the age gap and the terms of our former platonic relationship make it weird. Is this just a social construct that I'm being weird about? | I hooked up with my mentor who's 14 years my senior and although he's an amazing guy, I'm feeling weird about it. |
t3_2cm046 | personalfinance | Should I take out students loans & quit my job to finish my second year of nursing? (Canada) | I'm entering my second, and final, year of nursing in September. Overall this is my third year of college and I'm currently debt-free. I have my tuition and books paid for the next two semesters.
I currently work a part-time job as well, which ranges from 10-30 hour weeks throughout the school year. From what I've heard, second year of nursing is very heavy, and they recommend you don't work while doing it. I'm considering taking out student loans, strictly for expenses (car, gas, insurance, phone bill, social, etc) and quitting my job so I can focus more on school. I don't have to worry about rent or food costs, thankfully. | Would it be stupid to take out a (small) student loan for personal expenses, so I can quit my job and focus on studies? I would be taking out ~$6000. |
t3_3sizte | legaladvice | Parents our getting a divorce, locked barn on marital property is preventing my mom from putting the horse in barn stall for winter. | Title is confusing and probably a strange situation. I live in Upstate NY, to start. My mother is getting a divorce from my abusive father of over 30 years. She has an order of protection against him, but the judge has still allowed him to work at his auto shop on the property. Despite an invisible line he isn't allowed to cross, he still has pretty much done whatever he pleases and the police don't care.
This brings me to one of the outer barns on my parents property (the deed is not only for our house, but the auto shop bays, and two more outlying barns). One of these barns has a stall that houses our family horse for the winter time as it gets very cold here. My father decided he was going to put a padlock on the entrance to the barn (this same barn links to other places in the barn where he has expensive cars) and now my mother can't get in. She requested through her lawyer to have something done, and she apparently filed an injunction (I don't know what that is, just what I was told) to get my father to unlock the door for the horse's safety, but nothing has happened and this has been ongoing since the summer.
My mother's lawyer also said were she to try and break off the lock which is his property, despite the barn being marital property, my mother could be arrested. I don't really understand what is going on here, maybe small town politics and the fact that my father is well known in the community, but I really need some advice. My entire family is worried about this horse and the barn is where we have always put him in the winter time and now it seems like we don't have any options. We tried last year to board him elsewhere when the divorce first started and my father refused to let the horse leave the property. | parents are in middle of divorce. Father has locked outlying barn on marital property where we board horse in winter. Need barn unlocked, lawyer says mother could get arrested if she breaks the lock. |
t3_hkbg7 | AskReddit | how many real geeky/gamer girls do you know? am I really rare, and why? | Help me out, as I find this slightly depressing.
I was the chubby, A+ student and loner in highschool until I found my way to college/university, lost my kid weight and blossomed into a geeky woman.
Since I was a kid, I've gamed. Consoles until I found PC's and now I dual both consoles and PC's. I play Magic the Gathering with a group of guys every week. I play D&D, and am currently in a game. I like board games. I would play Warhammer 40K if I wasn't a student and had money to blow and more time.
My question is this: why don't more girls play games? In my 25 years of life, I have not met any girl who could equally out-geek me or even come close. I also get extremely offended but mostly upset, when anyone suggests that I just like these things to get male attention when it's quite the contrary. | I feel bummed out because there aren't more females like me. How many gamer girls do you know, how rare do you think they are and why? |
t3_3jywlv | Parenting | (Advice Request) How can I help my wife's friend's daughter? | So my wife and I have talked about this more than a few times now and are on the same page. One of her best friends has a daughter who is 6 now and is the sweetest little girl ever. Unfortunately, her home life isn't so pleasant. As a rundown of the backstory:
- Neither her Mother or Father like kids. Never have. They are very open about this, and seem to pride themselves in it.
- The only reason she is around is because they accidentally got pregnant while using no means of contraception.
- Both parents are the shut-in types who don't like to socialize.
- Dad in particular does not want anything to do with her, along with being manipulative to her Mom (Whenever she goes out anywhere on a very rare occasion, he is texting her non-stop and guilt-tripping her with statements like "your daughter is hungry and misses you")
- Mom is very much the indi-goth type, and has a distaste for the princess-and-castle type "girly" girls. Her daughter is exactly that type.
When they have come over, their daughter has been ecstatic to see both my wife and I, and we make a point to give her attention and tell her how smart and wonderful she is. We ask them if they want to come over frequently, they rarely do.
My wife's friend will complain to my wife about how she wants to go do something sometimes, and every time my wife will offer to go with her to get mani-pedicures, walk somewhere, go out for coffee, etc. She then says that she cant because (husband) will throw a fit.
We offer to babysit the daughter for free so that they can go out and have adult time together. They say they'll think about it, and their daughter gets excited, but then they never do.
We are not trying to come across as rude or anything, but we are both legitimately concerned for their child as the years go on. I feel bad because I see how they treat her when we are around, and I can't do anything about it. | Wife's friends have a strange and mostly negative relationship with each other and their child, wife and I are concerned and want to help her. |
t3_2i2dgx | relationships | My wife [29 F] is emotionally cheating on me [33 M] via text, at the very least. Am I handling this correctly? | My wife and I have been together for 6+ years, married for 1+ years. Two weeks ago, she received a nude pic from a male (who she had told me that she planned to visit in NY), which I happened to see when her phone beeped several times as she was asleep. Once I got into her phone, her texts between her and this individual were quite obviously in no way innocent. I have been told by others that these two had a relationship before we met. She tells me they are just friends.
Despite my friend's advice, I woke her up and confronted it. I did not handle the argument well at all. In the end, she said it was a mistake in that I didn't understand the "context" of the conversation and that the pic was accidentally sent. Bullshit, but I let her believe I believed her. I offered divorce or marriage conseling and that she no longer contact him. I also told her that visiting him in NY was not going to happen. She agreed to none of it. Whatever. I had other plans.
Three days ago, I began downloading, printing and backing up all of her text conversations. Needless to say, not only was it NOT a mistake. They have continued to text things to each other that make it very clear she does not take our marriage into consideration. I've also found other texts from other men that could be read as if she were emotionally or physically cheating already.
I am angry. But I'm also very cool. I'm committed to the long con (hence the user name), hitting the gym, and seeking a lawyer and/or therapist, but I'm still struggling with several items...
* What is the endgame?
* I'm handling it quite well, as quoted by a dear friend, so I'm worried that I'm really not handling it well, as stated by the same friend.
* Is there anything else I should/could do?
Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks. | Wife is emotionally cheating via text, and may possibly doing more. I'm gathering evidence and making plans. I'm also worried about what the endgame is here. |
t3_40qzqh | relationships | My[m28] gf[f28] of 2 years is upset about my dating history. | I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over two years now, and a few days ago she asked me about some specifics about my past. I didn't want to lie to her so I told her the truth, and she was upset about a friend I had a one time thing with years ago.
There was nothing there and both of us agreed that we should just be friends instead of any sort of romance at all, and all this happened years before I even met my girlfriend. Honestly it's kind of awkward for me to even think about at this point.
That being said, I know she's really upset about it. I've tried reassuring her that I love her and no one else, that one time thing was a very long time ago but she still is acting withdrawn from me. When I try to talk to her about it, she brushes me off saying she's ok but it bothers her.
I love this girl dearly, but don't know what to do. I feel guilty for something that happened years ago, which is ridiculous. I've been trying to reassure her, telling her that it was in the past and didn't amount to anything then, but she still seems really upset about it all. She tells me she's also embarrassed that she's upset. What can I do to stop my stupid past from harming my relationship? | my girlfriend of a little over 2 years is upset because she found out about a one time date/fling with a friend years before i knew her. I reassure her that I love her but she's still upset. |
t3_24btmt | relationships | Should I [19F] cut off ties with my "best friends" [20F]? | We're all in college and living in the same suite. We're supposed to live together in an apartment next year but I found out I can still change who I live with...which I'm seriously considering. Basically they're the really jealous, possessive type - any time I hang out with a friend, they'll get super passive aggressive and give me the cold shoulder for days on end.
They got mad at me once for going to the gym because they thought I was acting like I "was too good for them". Now that I have a boyfriend...let's just say that this has been the longest cold shoulder streak thus far. When they're not being ridiculous, we have THE best times...but I'm starting to think that it's not worth it. I don't know. We've been through so much and it sucks even thinking about throwing it all away but it also sucks to be uncomfortable in my own home. Help? | Friends are possessive and I kinda want to cut ties but we've been through so much shit I don't know if I should. |
t3_3on4wd | Advice | Are university professors offended when student don't attend lectures? | (xpost from askreddit)
First of all, the question is directed towards professors and others with personal experience on the matter. I'm not sure which would be the best sub to post this to, so I'm posting it here.
As an undergrad studying in Canada, I don't have good attendance record in every class I'm enrolled in, mostly due to the fact that I have extremely poor listening skills, and lecture that don't involve heavy note-are of little benefit to me, and so I tend to skip those and spend the time reading textbooks instead. That has been going on for a while now, and the thought struck me that I might have been inadvertently rude. Of course, I wouldn't expect instructors to be happy about students skipping their lectures, but I wouldn't have expected most people to be personally offended by this sort of behaviour either. | Is it plausible (or demonstrably true based on personal experience) that some professors would be more than peeved about students not attending their lectures? |
t3_2pofpt | relationships | Me [25 M] with my fiance [26 F] for 5 years: I am gonna call of the wedding, but afraid to regret | I have been with my gf/fiance for 5 years, although we never lived together for various reasons. I am not sure I ever had feelings for her, although she loved me a lot. I always fantasized about cheating.
The main reason I stayed with her is due to social pressure, and because I am a chicken and was afraid of breaking her heart. Now the wedding is looming and I cant take it anymore and want/ready to call it off.
The problem is I am afraid that I might regret it. Maybe I am just taking her for granted and will regret calling it off and start missing her when it is over.. She is a wonderful lady and everything I want, I just never had the feelings.. Or maybe I do but after all these years my expectations for love are just false ?
please help.. thank you! | Want to call off the wedding since I dont love her, although afraid to regret it and not sure about my emotions. |
t3_10z64a | relationship_advice | I need some advice! | So me [16F] and my boyfriend [18M] have secretly been together for 6 months. My parents do not approve of the age difference because when they found out we were interested in each other I was 15 and he was 18. We're really in love though so there's no way we'd stop being together. Anyways, I have to wait until I'm 17 to date him, with the exception that if I'm mature enough they'll let me date him earlier. since I've gone through many tough times during my life, I'm pretty mature for my age. The only problem being that I get mad very easily and its hard to talk to me when I'm angry. I'm also a super sensitive person. Does anyone know anyway I can stop getting angry so easily? Also, it seems that everything I do that is wrong is something immature, even though its not. I just need some help on how to make my parents believe I'm very mature! | my parents won't let me be with my boyfriend because I'm not mature enough (I get mad too easily). Any points on how to help me control my anger? |
t3_4dsaiv | relationships | Me [22 M] and my Girlfriend [21/F] of 3 years broke up and I am having a hard time being alone. | Short version: We dated for three years and have been through a lot together.
She suffers from PTSD and anxiety and I helped her become much stronger and more independent. As she became more independent it well like she became less interested in being a relationship.
In those three years, I never worked on many of my own issues and feel completely lost now that the relationship is over. I have a hard time being alone. I am seeing counselling which helps but it isn't as often as I would like it to be. I feel like I am drowning my friends when I talk about it as well. Also I feel as though I am falling for someone else, and I can't tell if it is because I actually like her or if she is just good company as opposed to me being alone. | How do I be alone ? What is the best way to move on from someone you once called your best friend ? (PS first time posting on here, sorry if it isn't formatted correctly). |
t3_2xx7p1 | relationships | Just found out my SO has been sexting another dude. | I'm not sure what to do. Just found out my SO of about 5 years has been trading nude pics and talking dirty to another guy (very long distance -I feel like that's the only thing that stopped her from physically cheating).
I confronted her about it and her initial reaction was to lie. I told her exactly what I knew so it was clear she was caught. She then got defensive and told me its bc I've been in a funk lately (just lost my job, and the past month and a half leading up to it, I have been really stressed and scrambling to keep it). I have not been a barrel of fun to be around lately, but it's hard for me to feel responsible for this.
Up until today, she was basically my only source of happiness/stability but now I feel like that rug has been yanked out from under me as well.
She said she loves me and wants to be with me, but has yet to show true remorse. She has only been really defensive, bringing up the way my stress has affected our ability to have fun, the fact that I lied about dating a girl for a month (while we were split up last summer - I didn't tell her because I knew she would dwell on it. It was still wrong to lie but I didn't do it out of malice), etc. I've never done anything like this. I'm far from perfect but I've never, would never cheat on her.
I don't know what to do. This is the girl I wanted to marry. We live together and have discussed plans of marriage, having children, etc. I really love her but my heart is broken and I feel completely alone now.
Any advice would be helpful. I want to know if there is a way to get past this. I don't know how I'm supposed to forgive her or even trust her again, but if she shows me true remorse and a willingness to work through it, I want to try.
I'm 29 and she is 26, if that matters at all. Someone please at least tell me how to feel okay. Thanks in advance. | SO of 5 years has been sexting a guy long distance and I'm not sure how to deal with it. |
t3_3onpta | relationships | I[20M] have feelings for a close friend [20F] of 6 years who I've been sleeping with. I don't think she feels the same way. | We've been good friends since high school and she said she really liked me then. We've been sleeping with each other for the past couple of weeks and it was kind of unspoken that we shouldn't catch feelings for each other but I have and it was killing me to not tell her. Finally yesterday she negged me to tell her what's been on my mind because she thought I looked troubled. I told her I had a big crush on her and she said that I've always meant so much to her and what not. She's always had a thing for me and she feels selfish for wanting me to stay with her as she's going through a rough patch right now.
We're basically dating right now since we're going out for dinner once or twice a week and we talk to each other every day. She refers to us as a 'couple', and calls me all these cute nicknames like sweetie and booboo. We hold hands and she spontaneously kisses me every now and then.
I still really care about her and I know she cares about me. I'm the last person that wants to put a label on our relationship as its so complicated but I can't help feeling like just a fwb to her because of what she said. Am I over thinking this? Are we actually just dating? | Started sleeping with a friend and caught the feels, told her about it, don't think she feels the same way but we do all the things a couple does when they're dating. Need advice |
t3_3sx9rh | relationship_advice | I [late-20s M] made my long-term, on-again off-again GF [mid-20s] cry and feel abandoned and minimized again, for the thousandth time, and I feel like a terrible person now and wish I didn't exist. | Not sure what else to add. Basically, I'm really unavailable because I'm an extreme introvert and also have a demanding work/school schedule. We see one another on the weekends these days - totally a shitty way to be in a relationship. I should be more available, but I'm not. We spent just spent two days together. Like, 48 hours. It was great, a very intimate and connected experience, but then I was ready to be alone. Well, when I left, I was pretty much going inward and started to appear distant and aloof. This freaked her out, and she basically went apeshit. Totally understandable. She sounds devastated now, and I hate myself for causing her so much pain.
Not sure I have a question necessarily. Just wanted to put this out there and see what comments come up, I guess? Any feedback, commiseration, problem-solving, or put-downs of me are welcome. | I hate myself for being such an absent and shitty BF and making my GF cry and feel abandoned now for a number of years. What a stupid way to treat someone. Blah. Throwing up in my mouth now. |
t3_viqes | AskReddit | Reddit, do you actually need money to start a non-profit organization or, do I need to find outside funding? | My roommates and I have a jar in our kitchen that we throw spare change in throughout the week. We use this change to purchase lottery tickets. *We are all college grads working entry level jobs. It sucks I know, but cubicle life pays the bills.* We are all roughly $30k deep in student loan debt therefore, outside funding seems really impossible until this debt is decreased substantially.
We have become very fond of the whole community farming/garden movements that have sprouted up in US cities (pun intended, for sure). This is great for the whole neighborhood involved.
We want to take it a step further- we want to provide low income housing (similar to a Habitat for Humanity program) but with each house that is built- we would also want to design a family garden and outfit the house with a few solar panels, domestic wind turbines, etc. This would cut the cost of their living expenses and also help the environment through proper education (providing the family is on board with this). **WIN WIN SITUATION.**
Not only would this improve their quality of life, they would gain a sense of understanding of how to contribute back to their community and hopefully pay it forward. | Would providing environmentally and self sufficient low income housing benefit those actually in need, or is this just a waste of time? |
t3_ikec6 | AskReddit | Askreddit, I am being charged for smoking in a hotel, when I did not smoke - what options do I have? | Guys
So here's what happened.
My friend left his pack of cigarettes with me the previous night and while checking out the next day, I leave the pack at the hotel, intentionally, since I did not want to carry it with me ( I quit a while back).
My friend lived in another room and he smoked outside, while I was with him and then came over to my room- we spoke a while and he left and forgot his pack of cigarettes. I wake up next morning, pack my bag, see the pack of cigarettes, leave it behind and leave the hotel
The hotel now charges me 250$ smoking charges, when clearly no one has smoked in the room. I tell them the above story and mention that unless they find ash they cant charge me. I also put a hold to the transaction amount they charged.
Now they call me back and tell me they found ash !
WTF?! What options do I have here reddit?? | Hotel charges me for smoking based on finding a pack of cigarettes, when I have clearly not smoked. What do I do? |
t3_2j7vt3 | tifu | TIFU by going on Reddit during class | This is really more of me just being an idiot than a fuck-up, but it happened while I was on Reddit, and feels applicable enough to post on here.
Bit of Background: I'm a freshman in college, and in the past week or so, I've gotten into the habit of bringing my laptop to my classes. Not just for notes, but also to browse other sites on the internet (usually Reddit) to make the time go by a little faster.
So then this leads up to this morning. Right as my 8:45 lecture had started, I pulled up the app on my laptop that I use for notes, as well as pulling up Reddit on Safari to browse in the background. As I scrolled through the front page, I came across the post titled "What should you do every single day?" With every new thread, the subsequent comment to the beginning of the thread all had to do with flossing and masturbating, and I couldn't help but laugh at every single one. Now I wasn't laughing very loudly, but I had a big, stupid grin on my face that made it look like I was trying my hardest not to start crying from laughter. It also didn't help that I was sitting in the third row from the front of the lecture hall, where I was about 30-40 feet away from the professor, who could see me very well.
My professor noticed my mini fits of suppressed laughter and said to me "Young man, could you do me a favor and close your laptop? You know, its just because you keep laughing."
I instantly stopped laughing, closed my laptop, and didn't say a single word for the rest of the lecture. Some kids around me started laughing and my face just turned bright red out of embarrassment. | I read comments about flossing and masturbating on a Reddit post, and started laughing hard enough to the point that my professor told me to put my laptop away |
t3_xxe66 | AskReddit | What's the most random but awesome deja vu coincidence that you've had? | One I can remember for myself took place in the 2nd Grade. Basically, my mom had a very expensive ring that she had misplaced and couldn't find it for months. So, I had to write a poem sort of thing for my class that would be hung on a board for open house in a couple of weeks. In my poem, I wrote a line that stated along the lines "my mom will find her ring". The good part happens on Open House when my mom goes up to the board and finds my poem and reads it. She laughs and becomes sad that she doesn't have her ring. Well, later that night of open house, I had randomly found her ring somewhere in the house. I thought this was a pretty crazy random but awesome deja vu coincidence that I've had. | I write a poem about my mom finding her ring and on Open House when she reads it, I find it for her later that night. |
t3_30njr0 | relationships | (Asking for a friend) her f26 with him m29. Found necklace in their bed that doesn't belong to her. | My friend is 26 and has been dating her boyfriend for over 3 years. They recently moved in together and seem like a very solid couple.
They have their occasional fights but I've always thought he is a good match for her.
He's recently been traveling a lot and I'm not sure how that's affected their dynamic.
She was cleaning today and found a necklace on their bed. It's not hers and she's never seen it before.
No one else has a key to their apartment.
No friends have been in the bedroom.
She asked him about it and he kind of brushed it off.
So I'm asking for her, anyone else have had similar experiences?
Any advice? | my friend found a necklace in her bed that she shares with her bf. The necklace doesn't belong to her. He says he doesn't know how it got there. |
t3_3w3xxd | legaladvice | Threats of "Further Action" from a foreign video game studio on our servers | Hi there.
This is a dillema I've been facing for a while and figured I would post here to get some insight into the whole ordeal.
Essentially, I am a member of a community who hosts PC Video Game Servers, specifically for the game Arma 3. The server mod our server runs is entirely developed by the community, and servers are expensive. Therefore, we offer donator options which will reward players with minor price discounts and cosmetic benefits in game.
It has recently come to our attention that our donator perks are in violation of Bohemia Interactive (the game development studio's) monetization, essentially due to the fact that we are accepting donations for in game benefits of any kind at all.
My question to reddit is - we are a comparitively small community. We host 2 servers, and use all of our (few) donations to pay directly to maintaining the servers. We frankly cannot afford to not monetize our server and our mission.
We have received a message from Bohemia Interactive stating that we are in violation of their rules, and that if we don't remove them in 10 days, further action will be taken.
My question to all of you - what kind of further action would be possible? Bohemia Interactive is an international company. Our servers are hosted on privately owned dedicated box servers that our community owns and rents. What sort of actions could Bohemia Interactive possibly take on our community assuming we don't remove the monetization? | The game production studio is threatening taking legal action against my small independent game community for violating their monetization policies. What sort of legal options could they take against us, as an international company? |
t3_2lssb3 | relationships | Me F [18] and my boyfriend M [18] have been dating over a year, but I think I may be in love with someone else. | After reading the askreddit post about lies we tell ourselves, I cried and almost puked. I've been telling myself and others that I've been in love with my boyfriend, I've been planning to move in with him for college. We're going to the same school. I met his grandparents the other night and they love me. It seems implied that we just might make it.
I think I love him, but that's the problem. It doesn't seem to be something you think about.
He's perfect for me. I would love to spend the rest of my life with him, I would love to love him. I just don't know if I do.
Then there's his friend. We get along amazingly, he challenges me in ways my boyfriend never has. We have chemistry in the most natural way possible. I know he doesn't have any feelings for me whatsoever. He's told me that our friendship is the most platonic friendship he's ever had with a girl. The shitty thing is, when I whisper to myself that I'm in love with him, I know it's true. Fuck it's so true that even typing it I want to cry and sigh in relief at the same time. I love him without meaning to. It's impossible not to.
I know I'm young, but I'm afraid that if I stay with my boyfriend for the sake of continuity, I may miss out on the guy I'm really in love with, but at the same time, why end a relationship that objectively has nothing wrong?
Plus, I don't think I have a chance with the other guy anyways. He's friends with both me and my bf and he wouldn't date me completely out of honor for my bf. He's just that kind of person. I don't know I'm just rambling now, I'm new at this whole relationship thing. Anyone want to pity a confused girl and help me out? | I may just be staying with my bf because I'm used to it and it's comfortable. I think I may be in love with someone else who I don't have a chance with. Help. |
t3_2mtat6 | relationships | How do I [20M] get her [20F] to believe me when I say she is the most beautiful girl in the world to me? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now, and she has this intermittent idea that goes through her head that I am not attracted to her,. She believes to her core that, because my past crushes generally skew towards white girls, that my "type" is basic white girls and that I should go be with them because that's what I love so much (she is Vietnamese). Needless to say, this is not true. I can safely say that although my history may skew towards that, I personally have no distinct preference when it comes to body type, especially not one that is so distinct as to call it my "type" (except i do prefer skinny girls, which my GF is).
She isn't like this all the time, which is why I think it's something that can be fixed or at least supressed. she will get triggered by something (like seeing one of my past celebrity crushes or sometimes just a random white basic bitch, which on a college campus can be somewhat often). When it passes, she always apologizes and tells me how great of a boyfriend I am and all that stuff and we go back to being bet friends. However, when she gets triggered, it gets so bad that she threatens to leave me / move out / (sometimes thinks she should just kill herself, although those are feelings she's had for a long time and she even admitted it would never amount to anything). She's a pretty cynical, sad personal as far as her life views go, and she has had self-image issues for a while, even before I got together with her, so it's not like these are necessarily problems that are exclusive to me. She just takes it out on me and uses the idea of basic white sorority girls as the scapegoat.
How do i get her to believe me? I think she's stunning in every other way; she's gorgeous, sexy, funny, intellectual, we click like no other, and she's just my best friend and I don't want to lose her. Thanks in advance! | My GF thinks I have an exclusive type is something that's not her, therefore believing i don't think she's beautiful at all, and it all drives her crazy. |
t3_10erp4 | relationship_advice | [15/M] confused about ex[16/F]. I know it's natural, but I could use some talking to third parties. | I broke up with my now current ex about 5 months ago. There wasn't any physicality in the relationship, and at many times I felt like she didn't even want me around. Like, not even a hug for about a week, and ignoring me when friends were around. Turns out she cried for pretty much an entire day after I broke up with her, so I know there was some misreading going on on my part. Either that or she overreacts a lot, which was my first thought.
Anyways, I was told by my brother that she has become more flirtatious after I broke up with her(not to him, but to others). This saddened me a bit, because one reason I left her was because she didn't seem to want anything from me, emotionally or physically. I do know that now that we're broken up, it isn't my business who she flirts with, so I don't pay it much mind. Until it seems to happen around me.
Like when I was on a school trip a few days ago. It's super late at night, she's sitting with a guy friend of mine, who I had actually ended up sleeping on earlier that trip(at like 6 in the morning, it was a long day). Anyways, it looks like she's got her arms around him and is sleeping on him and hugging him.
This only caught my attention because I know that if I had been with her now and we were in this situation, she would have been totally against any kind of cuddling. I know she wasn't doing it so that I could see, I had moved up to the front of the bus for something else, and it was random, and she doesn't know I saw it. I just don't know what to think about her, or if I should even be thinking about this. I just need someone else to talk me through it. | Saw my ex-gf cuddling a guy and can't get it out of my head. What's some advice? |
t3_2cp49p | relationships | 33/M & 28/F - Relationship of 3 years - I have a secret that'll go to my grave. | My girlfriend L and I were friends for a year before we started dating. I was with an ex M for 12 years (off and on) and, during my friendship with L, I gave M another chance. But with this chance, I found out that M had been cheating on me a lot in early stages of our relationship. She slept with her boss and a few others. She also was cheating on me during this chance. She slipped up on some lies and eventually admitted.
L was a close, supportive friend during that time. I knew she had feelings for me. She told me when we first started our friendship. I was still hung up on M so I didn't share the feelings and told her. We chose to remain friends. After I broke up with M, my friendship with L developed more and after six months, we both expressed interest in more and I was ready. I love her.
We shared our past experiences to some degree, but I have a secret I will never tell anyone. It's something that I did 13 years ago. It was not against the law or harmful to anyone (except it plays on the mind often) and I don't know if it's wrong that I don't disclose the secret. It was something I did while I was with M. I won't tell Reddit either. It's too awful for me to write versus say aloud.
I am a responsible and caring boyfriend. We have a great sex life and we respect each other. We do chores together. We both have jobs. We are a team pretty much other than she is the boss of the kitchen (this is her insisting). I don't want to lose her. I love her.
Do you think it's okay to keep a secret? Even if it might change how your loved ones view you? | I have a secret I've kept for 13 years. I have no interest in sharing it with anyone. Is it wrong to never disclose? |
t3_470irn | relationships | Do I [25F] need to tell my new BF [27M] about my Fetlife account even though I only use it to post sexual photos (not message/meet people)? | I have been sleeping with a guy for over two months and a few days ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. I have a Fetlife account where I post sexual photos of myself wearing 'little girl' clothes, diapers, wearing buttplugs, self administering enemas and suppositories etc. My kinks are based around abdl, medfet, spanking and I'm really into daddy/daughter roleplay. I don't use it to message or meet people, I just read the photo comments.
Here's the thing. I don't want to delete the account because I like the attention I get from sharing my photos. But I don't want to tell my bf about my kinks yet... I want to slowly introduce things and then if he's not into them that's okay with me obviously. He knows I love getting spanked and that turns him on too but other than that he doesn't know about the rest. If I ask him for his permission to keep the account he'll want to see it! | Should I tell my bf about the Fetlife account and ask him if he's okay with me keeping it and thereby tell him about my kinks, keep the account but not tell him about it, or delete the account? |
t3_501c01 | relationships | Me [20 F] with my ex [22 M] 6month relationship, I said No Contact, but he wants to talk "for Closure" | I recently broke up with my boyfriend about a week ago. I tried to do so in person when he was going back to college, but when he talks to me I just crumble and say yes to everything he says. So this time I sent a letter and blocked him on everything. I made arrangements to send his things to him, and let myself relax for the first time in a long time.
Then mutual friends start sending me messages from him, asking me to talk to him so "he can finally understand something for once". He said that if I talked to him he would make arrangements to pick his things up, but I don't want to see him in person, and I definitely don't want to talk to him. I said I would think about it, do I stand my ground and say no to talking, or does he have the right to make arrangements for his things?
If he starts to talk to me, I know he's not over us and I'm sure he'd try to convince me to get back with him. I feel stronger than I was when I first broke up with him, but I'm unsure if I can hear what he has to say and not change my mind. He likes to go on about how he'd die without me and try to manipulate me into feeling guilty for leaving. | ex boyfriend doesn't understand the meaning of no contact, and is trying to talk to me to arrange him coming back for his things. Do I talk to him, or stand by my no contact policy? |
t3_2e5ecy | relationships | Me [36 M] with my girlfriend of one year [34 F], am I committing too early? | I'm somewhat shy/socially awkward/nerdy, and grew up in a foreign country, wasn't that interested in girls when I was in my early 20s (Some confidence/self-esteem issues, and perhaps some family issues too). I was very involved in work and a couple of hobbies. So no real girlfriend experience.
In any case, I decided a couple of years ago that I was too lonely and wanted to consider having a family. Went online dating and after a while I found someone I liked and who liked me back. She is great. Very sweet and kind. Artsy. Smart and well read. Has a decent job, is going back to school for more. Frugal. Accepting of my limitations and adaptable. Pretty, too. We have been together close to a year, she is moving going to move in.
The only thing that makes me a bit uncertain is that she doesn't share some of my interests - the nerdy/intellectual ones. She's not that interested in news, for instance. She also doesn't have a very good career. I have a PhD from a top program in a tech-y field, make good money and have a fun job. Many people in my situation get married to someone who is similarly career-oriented (doctors, lawyers etc.). Beyond the money, it makes sure both of us have something that we enjoy and are good at. She bitches about her job and hates waking up during the week.
So my lack of relationship experience is making me anxious. I am worried I am committing to someone I love but I could get a better fit.
At some level that's crazy - I am no great catch. I look OK but I am overweight. But perhaps I should try and find a better match? Since I haven't really had a girlfriend before, it's just hard to know. | No relationship experience; unsure if my girlfriend (my first one) is right for me. She's great but I worry about her lack of career and intellectual interests. |
t3_1hlx99 | relationship_advice | How do I (16/M) deal with her (15/F) ex-boyfriend? | So I met this girl around four weeks ago. We hit it off immediately and I got her number. We started texting each other, and Skyping from time to time, and I can honestly say I really like her. We quickly became extremely good friends and have actually started dating as of this past Monday. She told me when we first met that she had a boyfriend who moved away around five months ago. They have been together for ten months. He has a form of mental problem where he has severe anxiety attacks, and was on heavy medication when I met her. At some point after he moved away, he vanished for two months without a trace. She couldn't contact him and just gave up. She said he was in a hospital for that period of time. She moved on and started seeing other guys. When he came back she told him about her seeing other guys, and he forgave her. They were together once again. She also has some form of..issue. If she gets upset she can barely breath and has to take a while to calm down. I've had family members that have had similar things happen to them, so I know how to calm her down decently fast. With that all said, I really like her and she admitted to really liking me as well. I told her before we started dating, that if we were going to be together, she had to break up with her current boyfriend. Only problem with that is that he vanished off the face of the earth a week ago. Last night, she told me that she still had very strong feelings for him. She also told me that she had fallen in love with me. I told her that I loved her too, and also said that she needed to make up her mind on who she wanted to be with. I do love her, but I also wouldn't be very surprised if she chooses him over me. If she does, I don't want to stick around at all. I don't really want to set her off, but there isn't really a way to just exit someones life without it hurting. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.. I just care what happens to her, and I don't want her to go through me just up and leaving. | GF has a long distance BF that vanished for 2 months, came back and now he is gone again. She doesn't know who to choose, and I don't know if I am entirely comfortable with her picking him. |
t3_ggiu3 | relationships | Where the hell do you draw the line with trust violations and breaking up? | 2 year relationship; she's 23, and I'm 26. I've watched her struggle with drinking our entire relationship and don't judge, but it's finally started causing problems.
We've got newish friends, a couple; the wife can't control her drinking either and loves having a mutual enabler around.
So 2 nights ago we're drinking at their place with some others. I try to pass out early. Can't sleep, get up to smoke a cigarette, find out my girlfriend and guy's wife are puking in the bathroom together. Check on her to make sure she's ok, ask her if she's coming to bed, and leave.
After a few hours of waiting I finally have the sinking realization she's not coming back. She passed out in and spent the night in their bed.
I broke up with her yesterday. My basic argument is, "Last night was unacceptable in and of itself, this is not going to be an isolated incident, you already know I have serious trust issues and did this anyway, and THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THE SERIES OF EVENTS INITIATING MY TRUST ISSUES STARTED."
I can't go through this shit again. Thinking I'm just being paranoid. That it won't happen again. That nothing happened. That if I take her back it teaches her any lesson except that I'm a bitch, she can do whatever she wants, and I'll take her back after bitching about it a little.
But I *am* 99.9% confident nothing happened, and I'm a huge pussy who wants to take her back. But I know I can't.
So uh... I guess I need my cognitive dissonance resolved.
Take her back with conditions? Doesn't seem like a real relationship.
Take her back without them? Lets her off for her actions scott free and kiss self-respect goodbye!
Go with my gut and maintain breakup? Seems a safer bet than expecting an alcoholic to change, and least of all change for anyone but herself. | My ex is an alcoholic and wants me back; probably hasn't fucked up too badly (yet); how do I carve the emotional center of my brain out? |
t3_4yrbe5 | relationships | Me [21M] and my girlfriend [21F] are studying abroad next year in different countries and i dont know wether to end the relationship or not. | I was friends with mi gf for 1 year before we started going out, 3 months ago. The problem is we are each leaving next year (next academic year, which starts in september), i will be studying in eeuu and she is going to germany. At first we agreed that we would break up before leaving but after these months of relationship i have realised we have something really special and i wouldnt want to end it so easily. She agrees with me but we are still not sure wether we would be able to mantain a relationship for so long. We would see each other in christmas holidays but thats it. Its true that we have not been together for long but we have connected really well and because we were very good friends before the relationship has advanced pretty fast. My question is, has anyone had a similar experience and what was the outcome? | Have a great relationship with mi gf but we are both studying abroad for a year and i dont know if it is reasonable to stay together. |
t3_3c8ok7 | loseit | Turning two bad decisions into NSVs | I think the most rewarding part of this journey so far is recognizing with fresh eyes some of the bad habits that got me to the weight I am today. Yesterday morning I had my typical epic egg breakfast sandwich which i haven't had since i've been eating super healthy - made of 3 fried eggs, cheese, a full avocado on two slices of bread. After calculating on MFP - almost 875 calories!!!!!!!!!!! this is something i used to eat almost every morning for the last two years.
then today my mom took me to a nearby burrito joint even though i insisted i was fine to wait to eat until we got home but NOPE she was on my case saying how "it's good to treat the body" and she "doesn't know what to eat at home" - so i caved and tried to be healthy by getting a gluten free shrimp/halibut mix burrito in small. i feel ABSOLUTELY disgusting. i don't know if it's the sauces or what but my body is not enjoying this feeling - a former weekly treat as well. it's great that now i've learned my lesson i will not be going back to these particular foods. | discovered the pain of eating junk food after eating clean consistently isn't that fun on the body. also about 2lbs away from changing my flair woohoo |
t3_de8yz | AskReddit | Reddit I need your help. I just got screwed out of $400 by Town Fair Tire and I need to know if there's anything I can do about it. | So I went into Town Fair Tire with my car which for the past 2 weeks has had an odd problem where the wheel shakes violently. The guy at TFT looks at the car and says, "seems to be a simple alignment problem." which is what I thought it was too. I followed the guy inside where i proceeded to purchase 4 brand tires, alignment and all the extra fees for around $400. After I hand them the keys they bring into the shop to put on the tires. 40 min later I returned and they said that they couldn't align the car because they found a problem with the back rear suspension and that I should immediately bring it to a mechanic. So they basically put 4 brand new tires on a car that they knew needed to get serviced first. I'm furious as Ive only driven 3 miles on these new tires and may not be able to use them again if the car is too much to fix. | Town Fair Tire put 4 new tires on and charged me for an alignment knowing that my car had a more serious problem. |
t3_266068 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend [23 F] of 3 years, fire still burning in my chest everyday after getting back with my cheating girlfriend | We were deeply in love for 3 years, I was mean to her sometime and I didn't understand her sadness and sometime I got upset at her because she doesn't know how to express the reason why. 5 months ago I discovered she had sex with a guy, I got mad, angry, sad, depressed. I told her don't ever talk to me again, she bagged me to come back, after 2 weeks we meet and start going to couple therapy.
Therapy helped but I still feel anger, keep thinking about her and the guy everyday even after months. I keep checking the Instagram man who slept with her, and now on my browser I have another tab open and want to send him and anonymous email to warn him but I feel it's wrong.
My therapist told me to accept where I am and not to act on my anger. I feel overwhelmed with emotion now, was mean to her sometime but I never hit her or abuse her, I can't justify that she fucked another guy and to be honest I don't think I'll ever forgive her. Although things are really good now, her living one hour away from and still working in the same place where he works is something I can't get over, burning fire in my chest everytime I think about it (usually when she is away).
Reddit, please help me. How to deal with my feelings, should I email the guy? Can she ever be truest while she lives away from me, I'm I just blinded by love. | She cheated on me and she is still works in the same place with the guy and she lives far away from me. How to deal the burning fire in my after getting back with my cheating girlfriend? |
t3_1h5y1s | relationships | My little sister [F,15] sent a nude picture to a random kid and I don't know what to do. | I'm not sure if this is even the right subreddit to post this in but I need some help, throwaway account for obvious reasons and I'll probably delete this thread after a while.
Tonight at around midnight my youngest sister sent a nude Snapchat of herself to a boy her age that she met on the social networking app Tinder. She has never met him in real life and doesn't know him personally (which is why I'm stunned at this whole situation). The Snapchat had her face in it and the little fucker took a screenshot of it. She realizes that he did this and freaks out and tells him to delete it, and he claims he did. She becomes very guilty about this whole thing and wakes my mom up and tells her the story, who then woke me up.
My mom did a reverse caller ID on his phone number so we know exactly who he is, where he lives, and all of his social media information. We know he is a real kid and not just some pedophile living in his basement or a catfish or anything. My mom sent the kid a text message saying that if he sends the picture of her to anyone that we will charge him with trafficking child pornography/sexting (or whatever the formal name for the charge is) to which he responded that he understands and that he deleted it. We aren't sure if he took it seriously or not. I wanted to call him but decided against it knowing that all it would end up be is me threatening to rip his throat out. Luckily, he lives in a town decently far from us and we don't know anyone in that town or associated with it, but we still aren't 100% sure if he actually deleted it or didn't send it to any of his friends.
Is there anything else that I can do for this? I'm about to snap and don't know what else to do. This is my little sister and I feel like I failed as a brother that she sent this picture of herself. | Sister sent a nude snapchat with her face in it to a boy she doesn't know IRL. What the hell do I do now? |
t3_1a9nuh | dating_advice | [22M] Should I even try to get a relationship in college? | Back in my hometown, from middle school all the way through to the community college I went to for two and a half years, my experiences with the opposite sex had been almost entirely negative. I'm still a virgin because at some point with every girl I ever liked, something went wrong.
Now I'm finally in a new environment, and I almost immediately hit it off with an attractive girl who seemed just as interested in me as I was in her. The problem? She was busy. Three times we scheduled a date she said she'd be free for. Three times she ended up not being able to go last minute. I've given up on her.
As I look around me, I see everyone else randomly hooking up in lieu of actual relationships. To put it lightly: that's not for me. But It seems like people are that way because they don't have time. I'm seeing two types of girls: those who are putting off everything with men until after college, and those who just want hookups.
There are guys I know who have girlfriends, but I have no idea how they got them. I feel like I'm facing an insurmountable wall. How do I have an actual relationship with a college girl? | I'm in college and I want an actual relationship. Not a hookup. Prospects are dim. What do I do? |
t3_2actay | relationships | My (f22) friend (m35) admitted he finds me sexually attractive and my bf (m26) isn't happy about it | So I have a friend who used to be my neighbor for the last 4 years, but he moved down the street and still visits me pretty often when he's not out of town working. We play games together (video games, dominoes, board games) and smoke. That's about all we have in common. He is gone for long periods of time so when he's home, he comes over frequently.
Before I was with my boyfriend, my friend kissed me at the bar. I was shocked and pushed him away. Ever since then I assumed it was very clear I wanted nothing more than a friendship and nothing has been initiated since. My boyfriend knows about this incident.
Recently I told my friend "my boyfriend is uncomfortable about you coming over at night because he believes that you want to sleep with me." His response was what I considered typical of a guy... he said "of course i want to sleep with you, your a hot chick!" I was like "omg shut up you creep! ugh"
I told my boyfriend what he said to me and added if he didn't want me to be his friend, I wouldn't. Well now my boyfriend is mad at me because I have hung out with him since, but he never told me to end my friendship. He said I should have wanted to on my own. | my friend said he wanted to sleep with me and my boyfriend is mad that im his friend still dont know what to say/do |
t3_39w2i3 | relationships | Me M (19) think I'm in love with my friend F (21) | I've known my friend Emma (we'll call her
Emma) for about 10 months. Ever since I
Started my job last summer, she's cute,
funny and we both share a lot of the
same intersects. Naturally we became
Close friends and the longer I got to know
her the more I liked her. Try as I might
though I could never get the courage to
ask her out, I didn't want to ruin our
friendship. Yet I still can't stop thinking
about her. A couple of months ago she
started seeing someone (we'll call him
Terrence)and it looks like it's going strong. She says she loves him and is talking about moving away. I'm happy that she's found someone that treats her right and makes her happy but I just wish it was me. I guess more than anything else I'm afraid of losing her. | I think I love my friend but she lives someone else she's the only girl I've ever felt this way about and I'm afraid I'll lose her |
t3_2wyohv | relationships | I [24 M] am in a new city and work from home; I know literally nobody here. How do I go about meeting people? | Hey guys,
I design/code web pages on my own from my home. I recently left my old job to pursue this career (since it makes more money and at the time I felt like it would be more fulfilling).
Luckily, business has been going great for me and I'm making some good money. The downside is that I just feel alone (both romantically and non-romantically), since I know literally nobody here. I didn't realize at the time that the office life had huge benefits in that meeting people was so easy.
So how do I form meaningful relationships here? I just feel alone and trapped in my house. I really do want a girlfriend as well as other friends, but I just can't meet anyone. I tried going to the gym and that just didn't go well at all.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks! | Working from home in a completely new city, wondering how to meet people and make friends as well as a potential girlfriend. |
t3_3y1v6v | relationships | Me [22/F] with my exbf [21/M] are trying to be friends, but he started going on dates. Should I leave? | Today, finally he hung out with me. We hung out before, but usually when I ask him if he could hang out with me, he is with his friend (let's call her Tina). So, we were looking at photos, and I saw a photo of another woman (let's call her Alyna). I was really jealous and upset. I asked him about it, and he said that his friend Tina has been showing him around and introducing him to her friends. I asked him, what has he done? And he said he was just with Alyna for coffee, and they just talked, and he could text her sometimes when she texts back. I asked him, why didn't you delete her photo? Why is it just saved there on your phone? And he said it just automatically saves there, and I did not really fight with him about it.
I was upset because he said he didn't leave the coffee date because he wanted to be polite. He's not even polite with me. He also said he texts her too, but he barely texts me. & he said that he can't date I have nothing to worry about because he doesn't want to date anyone right now, he just wants to work on being great and go to school, work out and be a body builder, and all that. He said he doesn't like the girl because she reminds him too of me.
Am I over reacting? Should I stop being friends with my ex boyfriend. Should I just let him have fun with other girls? | Friends with my exboyfriend but he's going on dates, and I am jealous. Should I just cut off all contact? |
t3_2wgxr2 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my friend [19 F] of 6 months. At times of great stress my friend exhibits despair and hopelessness, how can I help her? | One of my closest friends at university struggles with coping in stressful situations. She misses home and overworks herself, and ultimately feels great stress.
Just now she came to my room in tears due to missing home. I have never seen her cry like that. During exam time she will break down in the dinner line.
My immediate reaction is just to hug her and tell her she will be fine. I don't know what to say to her or how I should react. It is worth noting that there is not a single sniff of a romantic element between us.
She apologises for coming to see me, but I'm, a) glad she sees me as approachable, b) glad she looks for help, c) properly worried about her health, and d) wishing I could do more to help.
What are some really helpful things I can do to help her? | Mandatory summary/question! My friend at university is often upset and hysterical and I want to be able to properly help her. |
t3_3dr9bv | dogs | [Help] Dog won't stop licking himself and I noticed discoloration and scab-like hardness | So I made a vet appointment but they can't see us until Monday, I'm wondering if this is some kind of infection that needs to be adressed by the emergency vet or it will go away as long as I clean it and prevent him from licking. There is no discharge or anything like that and he doesn't seem to be in any pain or have any sensitivity to touch. It actually feels kind of like a scab. Things worth mentioning: He's 4 years old, Maltipoo, neutered and I've been noticing redness and increased licking for about the last week. I always keep an eye on him and make him stop but he seems to do most of the damage while I'm at work. I've been checking the area every day to see if a cone is necessary but other than redness (which goes away after I've been home for an hour and prevent him from licking) there was no wound or discoloration. I recently started a new job after having been home for 2 months so I chalked it up to anxiety or pent up energy. Something else worth mentioning, yesterday we went to a fenced dog park that had all kinds of weeds and strange plants (It was crowded, though, so I assumed nobody else thought the plants would be harmful, maybe I should have listened to my instincts) and a couple of dogs who kept following him and licking him, which is actually an extremely common and annoying occurrence for us. Any thoughts on what this is? | Some kind of a wound on the sheath, no pain, no sensitivity but dog won't stop licking himself, other dogs won't stop licking him, went to dog park yesterday with weird plants. |
t3_44qncq | relationships | Me [24 F] with my ex-boyfriend [28 M] who I dated for 3 months not paying me back. | I broke things off with my boyfriend of three months on my birthday which was about a week ago. Suffice to say, we didn't end on very good terms (final nail in the coffin being him not wishing me on my birthday despite being aware that it was my birthday).
We had gone overseas for NYE and we paid for our own flight tickets. I booked and paid for the hotel in advance on my credit card though. He's not short of money by any means and leads an expensive lifestyle (fancy watches and suits) and I never got the impression that he was cheap in anyway. I always thought he would pay for his share of the hotel. Even during our trip overseas, we split everything evenly everywhere we went (cabs, restaurants).
He didn't bring up paying for the hotel but I reminded him gently about paying for his share two weeks before the breakup and he acknowledged that saying he would get to it. But now, after the breakup, he isn't replying to any of my mails or texts about returning my money.
The breakup wasn't pleasant so I hate having to contact him repeatedly but I don't want to just throw my money down the toilet either (approx $450). How do I deal with this? It hurts me to keep messaging him since it forces me to think about him and I just want him out of my life. This money is not a huge deal to me in the sense that I won't go hungry without it (I earn enough and have saved enough) but at the same time, I don't wanna be a sucker who let my money go without fighting for it. | How do I get my money back from my ex-boyfriend? Should I just let it go for my own sanity? |
t3_u5jrl | Advice | How do you become a more independent, self-reliant person without 'insulting' loved ones? | I want to become more independent. Probably a first step to this would be denying getting rides from my parents to places. This would most likely 'insult' them somehow. They might think I'm angry or ungrateful because I deny their kindness. This has happened before, and it honestly frustrates me so much.
The reason I want to become more independent (mostly from my parents) is because my parents (mostly my father) are mean, attention-seeking, misleading, alcoholic, idiotic jerks who love verbally fighting and declaring their correct. The type of people who start shit for no reason. I don't want to feel like I owe them something, and I especially don't want them to feel like I owe them something. Yeah, they did clothe and feed me for all of my life so far (I am 20) and they've sent me to college, but not once have I experienced familial love from my father, and from my mother it's very rare. My father is actually very mentally/emotionally abusive and he is an alcoholic. My mother is loving but has her issues and her moments in being a bad person to me.
**How do I get them to let me do my own thing? I don't want their bad lives looming over mine.**
**Also, in what ways should I change so I can be more independent? | My parents aren't good people and I don't want to feel like I owe them anything (besides care when they are old). How do I become more independent without them getting mad at me? |
t3_z4pjs | AskReddit | What's your biggest "this is is blown out of proportion" experience? | About 18 months ago we had some neighbours living next door with a cat. He was very friendly and liked hanging round our house, as we have a large back lawn (their's was small) and another cat that their cat played with. He would enter and leave our house through our cat door, eat our food and sleep on our beds, etc.
The neighbours decided that they didn't like their cat not being round their house, and started complaining to us. They wanted us to stop their cat entering our house (how? close the cat door? then our cat can't get in) or if he did enter, to pick him up and put him back through the fence to there house (tried this a few times, he walked straight back to our place).
We basically told them that it was stupid because you can't control the will of a cat. They didn't like that. Once, when I was 17, I was waiting at the bottom of the driveway waiting for a friend to pick me up and one of the neighbours (~40ish) saw me. He came over and started blasting away at me for their cat coming to our place. I asked him if it was possible that perhaps their cat just preferred our place to his. Oops.
A few weeks later, a knock on the door, and the local police constable turns up. Apparently "cat napping" is a serious offence. Or not, because he basically sat down and laughed with us, and asked if he could interview the cat for his take on the situation. So it didn't quite work out for them, but it still amazed me that some idiots called the police because we refused to turf their cat out of our house 30 times a day. | neighbour's cat liked spending time at our house. Neighbours unhappy, calls a police constable on us. He asks to interview the cat, laughs and leaves. |
t3_2t7z2s | relationships | I've [22 F] been doubting that my boyfriend [21 M] still loves/is interested in me | So we've been together for two years. He claims to have problems expressing his emotions and can't seem to grasp the concept that while I am confident in myself and our relationship, the absence of his communication/affirmation is becoming painfully obvious and worrying as the relationship progresses.
He vary rarely (read: only a few times in two years) compliments me genuinely without making a joke out of it. He only calls me beautiful/pretty/etc. when I prompt him to. Before we dated I was incredibly confident but as time has gone on my self-esteem has taken some serious hits since I honestly don't have any clue what he thinks of me, physically or otherwise.
I send him nudes regularly and if he says anything, it's usually just a "thanks" or a winky face. Like really? Are my tits that boring? I recently sent him a slow mo video that I will say was looking pretty nice. He claimed to not get the message, so I resent. No comment from him. I reminded him that it was there and he still didn't look. As if he wasn't interested in the slightest.
I'm a very affectionate person and it's been hard for me to feel loved when I'm getting very little back. What do I do? I'm already throwing myself at him and it seems like no matter what I do I can't get him fired up or get him to understand that a well-timed compliment would mean the world to me. I'm not needy but I have some needs... | Long-term boyfriend doesn't compliment or show much interest in me physically, is there anything I can do to get him to speak up? If not, how can I come to terms with my dropping self-esteem? |
t3_3i8ho3 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my short-term GF [29 F], feeling restricted just... because? | Hello /r/relationships!
I won't bother you with much writing; to put simply, I started a relationship about 1 month ago after a 3-year hiatus of relationships (I had a toxic 4-year relationship before which was severely limiting to my freedom, and wanted some time for myself). It just so happens that this new girl is great in that regard: she doesn't make scenes of jealously, she doesn't restrict me in what I can or cannot do, she doesn't bother me with "what are you doing?" texts every 5 minutes. That's great.
The problem is, *I* do. Not towards her, but towards myself:
- The other day, I was having dinner with another female friend and feeling the moral *obligation* of letting my GF know. Said female friend even asked me to accompany her in some dance classes she'd like to attend - which is something I'd love doing - but I felt instantly guilty of doing that with anyone else than my GF.
- Today, I was invited to go study with yet another female friend, and felt immediately complied to deny said invitation, out of "feeling I'd be doing something wrong".
I'm starting to think my problem in my past relationship wasn't that other girl limiting my freedom - *I* was. And I feel like getting out of this current relationship as soon as I can, simply because I want to be single and be able to be with whoever I want in whichever context I want, without the (arguably irrational) fear of being an ass or hurting anyone. | I can't feel free while in a relationship, regardless of how easygoing the other person is. Is that normal? |
t3_lof43 | AskReddit | Wells Fargo banking question, feel scammed | I'll try to be clear as possible, but I'll start with the story
I had an old Wells Fargo account attached to my Paypal account. I decided to use paypal to pay my monthly subscription to Spotify ($9.99/mo). I thought I selected the payments to be made with my debit card from a USAA account, but about a month and a half after starting my subscription I got two overdraft notification letters in the mail from Wells Fargo. I realized my mistake, and decided it was as good of a time as any to close my Wells Fargo account.
So last Thursday I went to a local Wells Fargo branch to close my account, but they said that it had already been automatically closed due to insufficient funds. This was fine by be, because that was my intention. I asked if I could pay any charges left on the account and they gladly accepted. The total I paid was $80 and some change - 2 overdraft fees ($35/ea) and the two charges of $9.99. Case closed, or so I thought.
This Monday, the 24th, I got two emails from Spotify.
So the bank reversed the payments that I just paid them for last Thursday. I no longer have an account at Wells Fargo, so I'm not sure how to address the problem. Basically they charged me for two transactions they did not uphold, and they charged me for two overdraft fees on two transactions which they didn't uphold.
This seems very backwards to me. Has this happened to other people? This seems like class-action type stuff. If anyone could tell me if this is normal or if I am being scammed, it would be appreciated. I'd like to get my money back. | Wells Fargo charged me two overdraft fees + original charges, but then reversed the payment I made... So I paid $80 for air. |
t3_4kc8zg | relationship_advice | Prom is coming up and I'm taking the best friend of a girl that has a crush on me. | I'm taking girl A to prom tomorrow (Saturday) but girl B is her really close friend. A told me about B's feelings for me and I have no such feelings for B, instead I have the feelings for A but A says she doesn't want to hurt B's feelings by calling it a date. I know I need to tell B I have no feelings for her but I don't want to ruin her prom. I'm not very good at saying no and I'm worried I might be forced into a position where she thinks I'm doing something because I want to and not because I have to and get her hopes up. Should I wait till Monday and risk ruining mine or tell B before and ruin her night? | I have a crush on one girl and, her friend has a crush on me. If I dont say anything girl two will possibility ruin my prom but if I do I'll definitely ruin hers. Don't know what to do. |
t3_53wxkc | tifu | TIFU by burning the entire side of my hand on an iron. | This happened about 10 min ago, hand is throbbing with pain and stinging like hell, so sorry for any mistakes.
Since I'm going to a job interview tomorrow, I decided to wash a pair of khakis and iron them out to make sure they weren't wrinkled. Being the procrastinating individual I am, I decided to put this off until 11pm. Upon filling up said iron with water, I spilled it all over the ironing board the floor. So I had the smart idea of just planting the iron on the rug, and on the board to just evaporate it away (which worked to an extent). For some reason, this spawned the idea of me getting some ice cubes and putting them up to the iron and seeing how fast they would melt. Now the ice "cubes" I have, aren't really cubes. They're those crescent shaped ones that come out of an automatic ice cube maker that look like [this.] So I put one on the ironing board, pressed the iron on it, and it melted in about 10 seconds with all these cool hissing and popping sounds. So to get a better view, I put the iron upside-down, took an icecube, planted it on the curved side, and pressed really hard. To my suprise (which honestly shouldn't have been a surprise) -- the cube slipped. The entire side of my hand seared against the iron for a good 2 seconds, which felt like fucking forever. Now my hand is a big red blister. | being stupid, i decided to melt icecubes on an iron, to which one slipped and melted my hand instead. |
t3_q08w2 | AskReddit | Scammed by GameStop/EB Games and don't know what to do. Details inside.. | I originally was looking for a refurbished DS lite (it's half the price of brand new), and was told they didn't have any. So I purchased a brand new one as a gift for a friend on Friday the 17th. She didn't want it, no big deal, I'll just go return it. I tried to return it today.
They opened it up (I was already going wtf, since its a brand new sealed product, or so I thought). He tells me that the charger has been just thrown in, and not been factory packaged. Also, he opened up the DS to show a huge ass scratch on the screen, as well as telling me the system has been turned on before.
I have never opened it before, and tried to make that point clear to him (he was the manager of the store). He just continued to repeat that it's been opened, and he cannot accept it as a return. He told me one of the stickers used to seal the box are different from factory Nintendo boxes.
This is in Vaughan, Ontario, Canada at the EB Games at Vaughan Mills. | EB Games sold me a used DS Lite under the impression it was brand new, and won't let me return it. |
t3_1ubkbc | relationships | Is this a red flag? GF convo with single guy. me [25m] her [23f] | This is a long distance relationship, we see each other over breaks (we're both in school) and several weekends throughout the year. Dating 2 years. long distance for 1. So over New Years' I noticed my GF was fb messaging a guy whom I've never met. I have met a lot of her friends when visiting her at school. She left her phone open while showering so I took a peek and scrolled through the convo (I admit I can be nosy). There was nothing flirtatious or sexual, as I would never expect her to do that. But I noticed that when she described things she was doing with me, I was always left out. (For example: 'going to the movies' instead of 'going to the movies with my bf' or 'out having drinks' instead of 'out having drinks with my bf') Safe to say there were several instances where it would be quite natural to mention you're doing an activity with someone but I was always conveniently left out. There were probably 4-5 examples. Is this a red flag? | found messages on GF's fb with a male friend sent while we were together, throughout the conversation she describes what we've been up to as if I don't exist* |
t3_1s4l0z | relationship_advice | [24F] "dating" a [30M]. He is getting clingy even though he is several states away. | Hi reddit.
I used to live in the same state as this guy (30). He and I dated for a short time and I moved for work. We still liked each other and continued "dating" via Skype. I haven't moved on, but I also feel like my 20s are passing by. We don't have any plans to be in the same state within 4 years when e finishes his masters.
Well, he has been texting me like crazy recently. My Facebook is exploding. I keep getting gifts in the mail. He is obviously much more invested than I am. I still like him, but we can't really date with this far of a distance. We don't know each other that well to make long distance work without lots of trips.
After our second date, we had sex. It was kinda spur of the moment. I have had a couple of relationships before where sex wasn't a big deal. I'm not talking about cheating - that is bad. I'm talking about not really counting sex as a big emotional investment. Now, I should have talk with him about it first, but it was a spur of the moment thing. I was his first, and now he is extremely attached.
If we were closer, I would be fine with continuing to date. But I had to move for work. I don't want to break it off in terms of emotions, but geographically this was a stupid idea.
How do I go about staying close, break off the relationship, and keep the option out there to pick up again if we are in the same area in the future?
This guy is really sweet, but I can't handle this along with family issues right now. | we live in different states. He is clingy. I want to stop and pick up in future. How to do so and keep that option open? (24f) dating (30m) |
t3_375kux | relationships | Me [19 M] with my friend with benefits [17 F], wanting a relationship. | I am not really a guy who likes relationships (I had a girlfriend when I was 16 and have never had one since), it isn't really my style (I prefer hookups/one night stands/etc.), usually I don't want to talk to a girl the day after I hook up with them.
But some months ago I met a girl that is simply amazing. We hooked up and had sex the day we met, I thought that that was it and I would never talk to her again, but the next day I had to talk to her. And I texted her, and we talked a lot, and we've seeing each other a few times, mainly for sex. But she doesn't want to be in a relationship (she has said explicitly she wants me only for sex, just got out of a bad ralationship,and she talks about her ex all the time).
The thing is, I think I'm falling for her. I mean, the sex is amazing, but we don't have anything serious and she has had a few dates with other men and I don't really know how to tell her to not do that. I also hooked up with a couple of girls since then, but I didn't really enjoy it. I am fairly sure that if I tell her that I want us to be a couple, to be faithfull to each other, she will freak out and tell me that we should stop having sex. I don't really know how to tell her that I am falling in love with her, I don't want the sex to end, I don't want us to stop talking because I am falling for her. | I think I'm falling in love with a girl I thought was only going to be a one night stand. What do? |
t3_18cbxr | relationships | [Update 2]single dad (m33) ready trying to get more time with son(6mo.), mom (F32) not ready | [post 1](
[post 2](
So I talked with the mom and she was extremely pissed off. I calmly explained to her that she is a great mom, I am proud of the job she is doing .. but I am not getting adequate time with our son and I want more. She yelled at me saying how our son needs his mom (which I agree) and will be confused and miss her .. to where i replied that he needs his father just as much. She also said that I should have talked to her first before opening a case, which I tried several times asking for more private time with him to where she always replied he was too young to be away from her.
Personally, I just don't get it as to how she can justify that the time I get with him is enough. I understand that I have some bias but two hours a week, supervised by her, is not how I want to spend time with my son.
In the end she opened the door and I took that as my que to leave. So I gave some love to my son and left. I feel bad in a sense that she is angry with me but those are my own issues. I am doing this to spend more time with my son. It is my right as a father and am trying to do the right thing for him and be around as much as possible.
Reddit be mindful that she is not breast feeding and the last thing I want to do is take him away from her. Also, if you havent followed see post 1 and 2.
I just would like to get more time with him alone and I have not been given that opportunity. I hope that she can take some time to reflect as to why I opened the case. This is not an attack on her, she is a great mom. This is me asking for my rights as a father.
Still doubting myself, am I wrong in taking action through the courts? | informed sons mother that I started the process to get more time with our son. She got mad and tried to make me feel like I made the wrong decision, then opened the door to show me out. |
t3_3aduru | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 4 months is having a hard time learning how to trust again. | Here is a bit of backstory.
About a year and a half ago I was with a girl named K for about 9 months. I trusted this girl 100%. I let her hangout with who she wanted, she did whatever she wanted and I never stopped her. In that sense, she would party, hangout with other people etc and I trusted her. Then I find out she has been cheating on me for 6 of the 9 months we were together.
Now I have trouble trusting anyone I am in a relationship with. I've been with 2 other girls before I met my current girlfriend, and neither relationship lasted longer then 2 months because I ended up breaking it off due to the fact that I can't trust them.
I'm having trouble convincing myself not to end it with the the girl I am with. I really do like her, and I've never connected with anyone better then her and I know she feels the same. I just have that thought in the back of my head that she will cheat on me. The main issue is she is having this girls night with her friends on Saturday, and they are going out to the bar. This scares me a lot, but I haven't said anything to her about it since I don't want to stop her from going.
I've also took it upon myself to see a therapist once a week. I just need advice from people who were also hurt but somehow managed to trust again. I also know the solution isn't to keep ending it, since then I will never overcome this.
How can I learn to trust and what can I do? I really want to keep this relationship going but it's extremely hard. Serious answers please. Thanks. | Ex cheated on me for 6 months. I need to learn how to trust again and not break up with current gf. |
t3_35zgqc | jobs | Exploring job opportunities with a current client? | Sorry if this a repost, I searched and couldn't not find advice on my situation specifically.
I've been in my current full time job for 3 years, not in a particularly senior position. I am wondering what the protocol/ethics might be for exploring job opportunities with an occasional client of ours? It would be a totally new direction for me professionally, but it's an industry I'm incredibly passionate about in my personal life, and I'd love to see if there are any openings that might match my skill set. My current company has had a rough couple of years here, so new opportunities have been in the back of my mind for a while.
While I did sign a non-compete, this client's business is not all all in competition with my current job, and as such I would not have the opportunity to poach any business.
Right now I'm leaning toward a simple LinkedIn message to our contact, or sending a message from my personal email.
Has anyone had experience/success with this before? Any red flags based on what I've described above? | I want to reach out to a current client regarding job opportunities, looking for advice on any red flags in approaching this way. |
t3_2hcm8g | relationship_advice | [M/20] My ex [20/F] tried to kill herself and I don't know what to do. | Hey throwaway here, but I honestly didn't know where else to turn.
Basically, the girl I planned to marry cheated on me in February and I found out in August. I left her and despite it all I still love her. We were best friends before we dated and I knew what kind of a person she was, I don't know, maybe I fooled myself into thinking I was special.
Anyway, after we broke up, she quit her manager job at a relatively successful restaurant because I was really her only moral support.
We tried to make it work but I just couldn't be with someone who knowingly caused me as much pain as she did, but the very next day I went over to check how she was and she showed me two deep(ish) cuts across both wrists. She had spent the day drinking, smoking and tried to eat as many paracetamol as possible.
And it's so out of place for her to do this, believe me. But she has nothing. No job, No friends (joint friends naturally sided with me), She dropped out of uni for the job she quit. I really don't know where to go from here. Any help whatsoever would be great. Any Similar situations? | Basically fiancée cheated, I broke it off, now she was no friends, job, prospects, friends and tried to kill herself. |
t3_eu8bq | AskReddit | Accessing files from old HDD? | I have an old PC which works fine but is in pieces as I built a new machine and used some of the parts.
I have just realised that the old machine still has some stuff on the HDD that I need, is there any way to get this onto my new machine without building the old one up and copying the files onto a USB stick or whatever.
I was hoping to set it up on this new PC and have two HDD for added storage.
Oh and if it helps, this new machine is running Windows 7 and the old one is XP. | Old PC running Windows XP, new one running Windows 7. Can I use the old Win XP HDD on my new machine and if so, how? |
t3_3skuom | tifu | TIFU by tidying up my room | So, a bit of background first. We had a huge Halloween party at my house, and a lot of furniture and stuff was stored in my room during the party. As a consequence, all of MY stuff (sketchbooks, pictures, trinkets, etc) was at a coffee table near my window, since it was the only place with any room left.
Since I am a lazy fucker, I didn't really clean any of it up until yesterday, when I decided to do my usual clean-up ritual: play a podcast and get on organising. But my phone was on repair because the screen broke, so I set up my computer to play my favourite podcast next to all my stuff, and opened all the windows to let light and fresh air in, great so far!
I finished cleaning it all up and decided I deserved a break, so I left everything as it was and went to play some games on the xbox. Not even 10 minutes passed and I was bored, so I got up to go back to my room when I noticed the noise i the background... It was raining VICIOUSLY.
I raced to my room and as soon as I opened the door I saw a waterfall of rain and ice directly on top of my computer and all my other things. I never freaked out so fast, I closed the window, rushed my computer to the kitchen and dried it as much as I could, and hung up all my drawings to dry.
Then, the power went out. Great. I can't even use the internet to google what the hell to do about my computer. It was on, and then it crashed, and then it started to do all sorts of weird shit, and I was panicking, and everything else is a blur.
The power was out for 12 hours, and I was hopeless until I got it to boot up today. Seems one of my ram sticks is dead, and my keyboard is not working, but at least I didn't lose my work that was on the drive. The drawings are ok, watercolours are ruined, though.
Seems the money I was saving up to buy a drawing tablet is now gonna go towards fixing my laptop. All because I was a lazy dick who stalled for 2 weeks to clean her room. | was cleaning room with the windows open and my laptop playing something close to it, it rained like the bible and ruined everything |
t3_1qf4t3 | relationships | Is she [18/f] flirting with me [18/m]? | Hello. So I've never been in a relationship and I haven't really bothered with them, but, I've noticed some signs from this girl specifically and I've been hoping they're what I think they mean.
* When we go to dinner with friend(s), she often taps her feet with on mine or rubs hers against mine if she's across the table.
* When we're walking side by side, she bumps into me or walks very close to me and often up rubs against my arm.
* If she walks past me and I'm standing still, she'll brush past me slowly (a solid second or less) with her arm. Once it was her chest (clear indicator?).
* She has trouble maintaining eye contact during conversations but occasionally when she looks at me she doesn't break eye contact for several minutes.
* Whenever we go out to eat with friend(s) she always makes an attempt to sit near me.
* Whenever she sits near me she crosses her leg over and taps her foot on my leg or moves her thigh over to touch mine.
I could just be overly observant/hopeful so I just wanted to get a woman's perspective. Also, this is important: *I value our friendship and I want to ask her, but, I want to make it painless and anti-awkward when I ask her. How can I do this?* Thanks for your thoughts. | I've noticed a lot of physical contact that could indicate she likes me. What should I do? If I ask her, how can I make it so it isn't awkward or awkwardly painful? |
t3_3hf5pt | relationship_advice | [26/f] My boyfriend (25/m) masturbating at home while I'm awake... | I tried ignoring... Got upset about it. This has been an on-going situation, but today I got really hurt about this after nervously laughing...
(random details spread out through the post; ask for clarification or additional detail if needed. also i'm new to reddit, so forgive me if i have no idea what's going on!)
I work from home and my boyfriend has been home since mid-evening. I've been suffering from some very depressive feelings the past few days. My boyfriend works, sleeps, and plays League of Legends more than he spends time with me. No joke, I probably spend all of 5 minutes with him daily... if even that... and we live together. Anyway, I was getting ready to work, and I go out to the the patio to take a smoke break.
My chair is facing the glass door... and I just see him rapidly flipping through hentai and jerking away.
Now, at first, I laughed at this. I thought it was funny... but then I became insecure because he was masturbating... to anime ... chubby anime girls and futanari all while I'm awake and active in the home.
I was literally dry humping him and doing all sorts of sexy things to him about an hour before this incident. He acted like he was tired and was trying to sleep... This hurt me.
I also suffer from an eating disorder and I have a gender-indentity crisis?? So it's like... he's watching these plump girls with dicks and I'm internally suffering from wanting to be tiny and manly?? Idk; don't ask?
He knows about these issues. We have talked about this multiple times before how I feel scared he'll leave me if I lose more weight. He assured me he wouldn't, but catching him looking at this type of porn doesn't make me believe it.
I understand fantasies...
I just don't understand why he would do this when he knows I'm here... AND AWAKE! | I caught my boyfriend masturbating to hentai while I was awake and active around the house. Should I be feeling upset? |
t3_1ltzuy | jobs | Have a recent (<2 years ago) accident on my DMV record, but position includes occasional driving. Likely to be rejected? | Hi Redditors. I have an interview for a position I would absolutely love to obtain, in the social work field. Only problem is, as the title says, the position includes occasional driving and one of the requirements is I'd have to be "eligible for the agency's insurance coverage". No further details have been shared yet, and my interview is next week.
My DMV record is clean save for one minor accident (a collision in which no one got hurt, but that's not on the record anyway) that was my fault from over a year ago. However, I'm afraid that collision is going to cost me the job. Virtually every job in this field in my area requires a clean DMV record because you're expected to be driving either out to clients in the community or to transport clients. I've actually avoided applying to a few jobs that specified they won't consider you if you have a single point on your record. I don't know if that's the standard or not, so I don't know if that applies to this agency. I'm in California.
I had that point on my record when I applied to my current job (same field), and I don't remember how I got past that. I actually drive my clients everywhere, everyday, and have never gotten into a collision. At this prospective job, I'd be driving far less than my current one, but I doubt that really makes a difference in terms of insurance.. or does it?
Is this something I need to inquire about at the interview? I'd rather not draw attention to it, because that wouldn't make a good impression, but if it's important then I want to show integrity.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I overreacting? Thanks! | 1 Accident on my DMV driving record; wondering if that will kill my chances of getting a job that requires a small amount of driving and has its employees covered under its insurance. |
t3_qfa57 | AskReddit | What is the most proficient time to submit a post on Reddit? | My personal research says anywhere between 9am - 2:30pm EST on weekdays. This time is excellent for reaching a wide audience quickly. However, I've also noticed early in the morning that the top page is filled with submissions that were made between 11pm - 3am EST the night beforehand.
Dr. Tyson's AMA was released around 6pm | Trying to find out the best times to submit things on Reddit. If you have successful posts in other subreddits besides AskReddit, tell me your thoughts. Has anyone else paid much attention to their peak times? |
t3_1284jq | Cooking | Tried capers for the first time last night. My husband *loved* them and even the toddler didn't mind them. What else can I do with these things? | Basically, they were my new ingredient this week, purchased for a French salmon and potato recipe from a "five ingredients or less" book I just got.
I have about 60 g of them left, half-brined, so I'm thinking they won't last long.
What can I do with them that's relatively quick (I usually have only 30 to MAX 45 minutes during the week for prepping supper) and conforms to fairly traditional American tastes? My toddler in particular likes strong-tasting things, but not too bitter (ex. no to spinach by itself, but yes to spinach with garlic and nutmeg). I love bitter greens, but I'm alone in this. | Looking for caper recipes that are quick to prepare (ideally around 30 minutes) and not too bitter or "unusual" by American standards. |
t3_2lxcp9 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend[20F] of four months, my girlfriend won't share anything with me. | So I've been going out with this girl for four months now and I knew her for another four months before we started going out. I have a lot of fun with her but recently it's gotten really difficult and I've noticed things shes been doing that really bother me.
So the entire relationship she never wants to tell me anything. I barely know anything about her at this point. I've tried bringing it up and she just keeps telling me that she is a very private person and doesn't like
sharing stuff about herself. For me this is really difficult because I'm a really open person and answer everything one hundred percent honestly if someone asks. I never try to avoid a question.
She also stops talking to me completely whenever I she gets mildly annoyed ,I do something stupid, or childish. And I do a lot of stupid and childish stuff. Its just who I am and what I do.
I brought up these things and tried to talk to her about it. But she just said that I'm going to have to live with it. I really don't know what to do at this point and need help. | Girlfriend won't tell me anything about herself and doesn't want to talk about it. I dont know what to do. |
t3_12pn21 | travel | Safe travels reminder | Just reiterating to travel safe and smart. Just had my phone stolen in a club in san Jose Costa Rica. Wanted to remind everyone to keep an eye on your belongings and to keep them in the front pockets constantly checking on them. My phone was stolen out of my front left pocket I'm assuming after someone bumped into me while making their way through the crowd. Didn't even notice.
Also. First night I was there I decided to drunkenly walk around the city. Very bad idea. Lucky the locals told me that it was dangerous and I could get robbed. They made sure I was headed back to where my hotel was. This could have ended badly for me. So please read up on the surrounding areas where you are staying to avoid these issues. | doucebag Costa Rican has a sprint Samsung s3 he probably can't use and don't wonder around in potentially dangerous areas. |
t3_2auhjf | relationships | Me [32M] with my friend [28F]. I have a big crush for her and she has it on me, we've been toghether but she is going 1 year to the farest place on the world from were we are. | Approximatly one month ago I finished a 4 year relationship with my ex GF. I met this woman 4 days after the breakup and totally blew my mind. Since then we've been seeing each other a lot. I've also been seeing other women, and she knows about it. Although past 2 weeks I had no motivation in seeing other women than her.
The fisrt day we met, she told me she is going to the other side of the world for a year, to live the experience. She has a very cool and well paid job here, but still she has decided that. Her parents are old and sick, and her 3 older brothers are unemployed. My guess is that she is fleeing from all her family issues in some way.
So we have been seeing each other a lot, she stayed in my house a coulple days, I stayed in hers also. We combine perfectly, I love her and she loves me. In a week she is travelling on vacation.
Yesterday she told me she will purchase the plane tickets to the 1 year travel during her abroad vacation, so she won't have nothing to pull back her decision. It really hurt me, I guess I had this naive idea that maybe she would change her mind, but she's totally determined on her journey.
The fact it hurt me and the fact she is going to buy the tickets so soon (she travels in January) made me decide not to see her again, and I told her. So she said she couldn't believe we won't see each other again, so do I, but I think is the best desicion for both of us.
On one side I would like to fight for this "relationship" on the other side y respect her life choices and don't want to push it further.
What do you think about it, Reddit?
Pd. Sorry for my bad English. | I have a big crush on her, we've been dating, she is going 1 year to the farest place possible, I finished the relationship. |
t3_zxiqp | dating_advice | 28 Male, falling for my new housemate, 26 Female...I can't work out if the feeling is mutual! | * | I don't know whether to make a move on my housemate, we're both stoners so it's hard for me to judge these things and she's very friendly so she might not just be giving me special treatment |
t3_23v11t | relationships | Me [25/F] with my BF [27 M] of 5 months, BF has not talked to me after our first big fight | My BF and I had our first big argument over the phone a few days ago about his certain behavior that bothers me. Both of us are very chill people, so if any small things bother either of us, we would not normally bring it up. However, I might have been building up resentment towards his lack of expression for his love/like for me. After the argument, I told my BF that I would like it if BF could show me more affection as a reassurance and he said that he would try that.
I think he has been trying to make it as normal as possible the next couple days by being his usual goofy/silly self. Although I really appreciated his effort, I was just simply not in the mood for say, him texting me some cat pictures he already sent to a list of his friends (and he knows I'm not a cat person)... and as I have not seen much "changes" in his behavior, I have been very sulky and just not my best self. However, I realized this and I texted him that I am sorry. But ever since that message was read, he just dropped all communication.
This is very confusing to me because, he's been the one trying to make it okay the past few days, and as soon as I apologize for my end, he just stops talking to me. I am not sure what I need to do here. I have not heard from him for 24 hrs now and it has been the longest we have not talked in our relationship. | BF tried to cheer me up after a fight. I was still grumpy. After I apologized for my grumpiness, BF stopped talking to me. |
t3_3ka79u | tifu | TIFU by doing science wrong and taking boiling water to the face | Obvious throw away is obvious yet appropriate.
Now were all familiar with the hot water into instant snow video correct? if not here it is
So backtrack to the beginning of this year and the area i live in had a lot of snow and ice for the longest time. So much that the college nearby actually cancelled class. Im staying the night at my girlfriends house who still lives with her parents and younger brother(2 years younger) due to the icy roads.
While the GF is doing her homework late at night he decides that it would be cool to try and do it and checked to make sure the temperature was right before we set off to do this fun trick. Now normally id be at the sideline watching with this kind of thing but my GF's brother had found a source saying it works better if there's something like flower in the air for it to stick to. (no idea why). It being late i agreed to toss the small amount of flower before he threw the scalding water in the air for our cool snow experiment.
Now the fuckup the thermometer he used wasnt accurate at all so it wasnt nearly cold enough to work so basically i throw the flower scream go and then watch as he slings the water out by swing it nearly 360 degrees... when i see water and not snow come out i immediately start to turn away and take a good part of the scalding water to the side of my face and he burnt his hands and legs. Luckily due to the snow and ice it was easy to make a cool pack to cool it off and theres no scars or signs of the incidient But mother of god that hurt. | GF's brother had me help with boiling water into snow experiment. Took the water to the face and didnt make snow. |
t3_2hmwuh | relationships | Me [22f] with my SO [24] 2 years, he has self diagnosed himself and changed overnight. | The other day my boyfriend told me he has a specific social anxiety disorder. He has never talked to any kind of professional, but the article he read "spoke to him." He says he will to to see somebody in the coming week but in the meantime he has completely changed.
48 hrs ago he was his normal self. A little shy, but otherwise outwardly fine. Now he is a timid mess. He refuses to leave the house and is even too anxious to read the textbook for the class he has fallen behind in. (He is behind by one class.)
He wants to quit his job and when I expressed concern over acting rashly - especially since I cannot afford to support both of us - he got very agitated and would not continue the conversation until I backed off and admitted that my question was poorly timed and nothing but hurtful. It's obvious that something as been going on, but he has kept it hidden from me and now everything is happening and changing at once.
I really want to be there for him but it feels like I am walking on eggshells. He has become incredibly paranoid, nervous and closed off. I tried to encourage him to read his textbook but he started hyperventilating and almost cried. I have no idea what to do and I am so scared that anything I do or say will just set him off.
Please help me. | My SO of 2 yrs has self diagnosed himself with an anxiety disorder and completely changed overnight. I have no idea what to do. |
t3_kp87q | relationships | A friend of my girlfriend professed his love to her, not sure how to handle it. | I'll try to keep this as simple as possible but bear with me and Im sorry for how long this is. My girlfriend(22) and I(22) have been in a relationship for a little over four years now. We met in high-school but started dating in college and everything has been going really well (talking about long term plans, marriage...etc).
She is one of those girls that tends to have more guy friends than girlfriends and I have never had a problem with this because most of them are really awesome guys.
While I was studying abroad last year she grew pretty close with this one guy, we will call him Matt, who obviously had feelings for her. For the last year or so the running joke around her friends has been about how much Matt loves her and is eventually going to make a move on her. He tries to call her pet names like "love" or "babe" and she has done a pretty good job of telling him to stop every time he says or does something inappropriate like that.
Long story short a few weeks ago he got drunk and openly professed his love for her. She sat him down and tried to tell him she is happy with me but that she still wants to be friends with him. I guess that night he got wasted and hooked up with another girl.
When I heard this I thought great he's moved on and eventually everything will get back to normal in that group of friends. But my girlfriend was pretty upset that he hooked up with someone and said something like "it was a rebound and not fair to the girl."
I feel like my girlfriend is taking this whole situation with matt harder than she should. I'm starting to think that their relationship was much deeper than I knew about and my mind keeps thinking that it was almost emotional cheating on me.
Am I crazy to think this? I don't want to tell her that she cant be friends with this guy but at this point I cant see any other way around it. She knows how Matt feels about her but she still wants to be friends with him. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. what should i do? | My girlfriend's friend professed his love to her, she still wants to be friends with him and got upset when he hooked up with another girl. |
t3_2rxqnw | relationships | I [20/M] don't feel the same way about my SO [19/F] after a year together. | I met her a little over a year ago. We went to the same college, and I loved her immediately. She's gorgeous, exhilarating, nerdy, and the best part is she loves me. We truely do love each other.
We've had only minor bumps in our relationship, such as an occasional argument. It's never been a major fight. If anything people would think we get along together too well. We normally would see each other 3 times a week.
We both joined the military recently (no, we didn't do it together) and currently work on the same base together. We have drills the same weekends together, so she tends to stay at my place when we have drill.
This months drill is a 4 day drill compared to the normal 2 day drill. We haven't seen each other for about 5 days because of my work schedule. When she arrived at my place things seemed different.
Instead of the normal bubbly attitude I get around her I was more introverted. I like my space, but she's always been welcome to be in that space. I felt a little strange towards her. Those butterflies that used to make me feel floaty suddenly disappeared. I look at her differently.
I don't know why I'm acting this way. I want to be with her forever, but I just don't feel how I used to. I don't want to end what we have, but I don't want to drag her along and hurt her more.
I'm looking for two kinds of help. 1) I want to know if I can feel the way I used to. I want to look at her the same way I used to. 2) I would like to hear opinions on what I should do. I'm extreamly conflicted if I should work on this, or end it. Any help would be greatly appreciated. | I feel differently towards my SO. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to play with her emotions if she'll get hurt more. Looking for any help. |
t3_2r2v10 | Advice | Do I need closure? Does he? | Hi all,
So two years ago, an ex ended things with me over Facebook, after a week of acting strange, avoiding me, ignoring me. I know I know—should've seen the signs and knew what was coming. I was sad about it for awhile, before I realized that he is a real wimp for not having the courage to do it face to face. A couple days after the breakup, he was really bipolar about his feelings—he wanted to get back together, and then he hated me, and wanted to burn our pictures, and then wanted to become friends. When he saw me in person, he either ignored me or acted like we were best friends and that nothing happened. But he never spoke of the breakup in person, not even when I requested it.
Basically, we did not end on a good note. Shortly after the breakup, we stopped talking. Now, two years later, I receive a message from him on Facebook. He asked if I hated him and told me that he found his matching keychain that we got back when we were in a relationship. He asked if I still had mine.
I'm not sure if I should respond, or how I should respond. Is this his way of asking for closure? Does he want to catch up? While I don't "hate" him, I am not particularly fond of him and I still think I deserve an apology for the way he acted towards the end of our relationship. Am I overreacting or being unreasonable? How should I approach this? Should I even respond?
FYI: He sent the message two weeks ago. I wasn't going to respond but it's been on my mind a lot lately, so I thought maybe I should do something about it. | Relationship ended on bad terms, now two years later, the ex messages me on Facebook. Not sure how I should react—is this a way of asking for closure? |
t3_3chq25 | relationships | I [21 M] would like to tell my best friend [24 F] of 5 years that I have strong romantic feelings for her, however she has a new boyfriend [24 M]. Would it be selfish/insensitive to confess now? | The title pretty much says most of what needs to be said. I met my friend five years ago at a summer retreat, we hit it off pretty quickly and we've been close ever since, despite the physical distance between us, we even shared a flat for a while before circumstances changed.
The past few years have not been easy on me, but my friend stood by me at every step, and within the last year I've found myself falling for her. I am not super confident and tend to shy away from confrontation when possible so I have not yet confessed my feelings, but I am finding this incredibly difficult.
More recently she's met someone, and that's totally fine, I just wonder if it would be selfish to confess feelings now, in light of this relationship. I feel like she deserves to know how I feel, regardless of this relationship. | Falling for best friend, want to tell her, but she's in a relationship. Is it selfish to tell her how I feel? |
t3_3x5wez | legaladvice | Collections Agency calling reg Gym Cancellation | 10 months after canceling, a debt collector is calling me saying if I don't pay the cancellation fee could affect my credit. I don't want to go through the trouble of disputing and frankly, I don't have time for it either. It's only $50 so it's really not a big deal. If I pay the debt, will this still bring down my credit?
Some BG: Gym is NY, billing address in CA - I have received no calls, notification, mail from gym. Last payment to gym is 2/2015 per my statement. Account created 6/2014 and is "no-strings-attached" membership - so cancelable with 45 days notification. | I have great credit. I don't want this collections on my record. If I pay, will it be affected? |
t3_e5zyw | AskReddit | What happened to kids just smoking pot and drinking beer? | I'm still pretty young, but it seems that kids in the "experimental" age across the U.S. are taking an exceedingly keen interest in synthetic research chemicals and alcohol products that are more dangerous than usual. In the midst of obtuse drug legislation, people are turning from weed -- a plant people have been smoking for thousands of years -- to these new "herbal" spice blends that contain JWH-018 and other synthetic analogues. Nobody knows the long-term implications of these drugs, what happens as a result of full CB1 agonist activity, or if they are potential carcinogens.
I've also noticed an upsurge of "4Loko," and "Joose," which are two alcohol-containing energy drinks that people have died from. Not only are you ingesting two dehydrating chemicals, but you're mixing a stimulant with a depressant. Yeah yeah, I know that this is done anyway when people order these complementary-ingredient drinks (ie. red bull/vodka) at the bar, but the real problem with these energy drinks is that kids are drinking them too quickly. The taste of alcohol is almost nonexistent, so down the hatch they go. This is frequently done by kids who do not yet possess any real concept of how their own body metabolizes alcohol.
I don't mean to sound like a mom here. Obviously, cigarettes, cigars, and other types of alcohol are still legal. I'm just concerned and wondering what's caused a shift from the "classic" experimental materials to these new-fangled and potentially (more) dangerous substances. | It seems that kids these days are more fixed on synthetic chemicals and alcoholic energy drinks. What gives? Do you think this is a result of ass-backwards drug legislation, clever marketing, or both? |
t3_4rkeok | Parenting | Step Parent Adoption- Questions/Advice/Experiences are much needed! | I found out today that my oldest child's bio father is fighting our step parent adoption. There are a lot of facts so bare with me and thank you for reading. I've been crying all day about this.
-He abandoned my child at 5 months old. No contact, no support, etc. My son turned 6 in May.
- He lives out of state and it took us a couple of months to find him because he was off the grid. Probably hiding because of court ordered child support
-I am married, been with the man since my son was 2 1/2, we were friends and co workers before so he knew my son since a month after his bio dad left (started a job after he left us).
- I have sole custody. It states in our custody paperwork (he did a no call no show to our custody hearing) that I have the choice for visitation. As in, it's my call to let him in my son's life.
-I had a protection from abuse order against him. He threw a controller at me and almost hit my son. He also had said and done some stuff to me in the past.
-He's owed child support since March of 2012 and has paid $0.
-My husband and I have taken care of him, always. Daycare, doctor/dental visits, t ball, you name it.
-I haven't changed my phone number since before the initial court hearing in 2012. I've had the same number since January of 2012. Same email since 2008. So not getting in contact shouldn't have been an excuse.
There might be other details. Can anyone help me ease my mind about what is to come? Does it look good for us? The last time I have heard from this guy was before our trial in 2012 when he told my lawyer he would be there. I'm so scared and worried.
I know my custody arrangement won't change, but I want my husband to be able to officially adopt him. My son knows him as dad and calls him such. Any anecdotal stories or websites would be amazing. | My son's bio dad treats my son like his property and is trying to fight against my husband adopting him w/o seeing him for almost 6 years. |
t3_2ul70p | relationship_advice | I'm 30m and wondering if I'm being a child by being needlessly petty. | So I'm starting to resent a friend of mine who has yet to come visit my (first) newborn daughter who's now five months old.
He was my groomsman several years ago and I will be his later this year, but I feel wronged that he hasn't made the effort to see my baby yet. I think I'm being extremely petty, but all of my other close friends made their visit to say their hellos and just to show support.
It feels like I've been slighted and it doesn't feel good. I want to ask him to visit, but it feels silly for me to ask him to come see my daughter. For some reason, it seems like I'm being too needy (ironically).
So I would love to get some neutral outside perspective on this.
Should visiting your close friends baby be a given? I mean, if I was in his shoes, I would've visited him a LONG TIME ago just to say hi and to congratulate his family and also to show him that I support him.
But I could be being sensitive, so I'd like your advice.
Thanks. | i think my friend's being a bad friend by not visiting to say hi to my first newborn daughter, but i realize i may just be being petty. |
t3_41flx2 | relationships | My father [56M] is telling me [17M] that i am the one to be blamed everytime there is a argument and stuff gets heated | So to give an example. Every Sunday we have a breakfast with the whole family, this morning I pronounced a word wrong, jup a word. To be precise the word was: ["Wroeten" I pronounced it as "vroeten" which is almost the same but not quite. I would even write "Wroeten" as "Vroeten" because I am dyslectic and have trouble with languages. My dad thought it was a good plan to make fun of me by taking words with the letter "W" and change them to "V" our king Willem became "Villem" and so on. I told him it was not funny but he did not stop. I was making a Ham Cheese sandwich so I got pissed and threw the two white slices at his plate which landed there, said I was done eating and left. Soon after he comes up to my room telling me I only wanted a quick way out of breakfast to play video games.
Fast forward to diner I was still mad at him and he hadn't apologized yet. I plated the table, his laptop was on the table in the spot of one plate. I asked him to remove it. It took him ages to take it away. Still being angry I an argument starts with my father. During the time I overhear my brother say something like "I don't want him to eat" to my mother. I say sure, the I won't eat at all. I took my plate from the table and placed it back in the cabinet. I was hungry and really needed something in my stomach so I wanted to retry my sandwich. I successfully made it when my brother takes it and throws it around the kitchen as I was not going to eat anything other than his diner.
So I went back to my room where I sat until my father comes up to tell me "You.... You did this! You always do this." Now we or I am here writing this. Using this as my only outlet.
If you would like to know how the pronunciation is different google "Dutch V and W" | Father always tells me that I am to blame during a heated discussion and I am rather sick of it, sick of him saying such nonsense. I also tried my best to type this by spellchecking with word hope it helped. |
t3_4vz4w9 | relationship_advice | How do I [F/24] make a shy introverted guy [26] comfortable/come out of his shell? | I met a guy a couple of months ago and managed to get a crush on him which is annoying but great because he's an actual nice guy and I used to be attracted to the not so nice ones.
I think he's very cool. He's accepted that he's different, he's not trying to prove himself. He revels in his awkwardness.
I made it clear I liked him. I still had to make the first move. The sex was awkward, but I didn't expect anything amazing the first time anyway.
I saw him everyday (we study at the same school) afterwards and made it a point not to make things weird and it all went fine. A week later at the pub with friends I asked him if he wanted to come over, he said he wanted to but had to work and was catching a flight that weekend but we'd see each other when he's back (I know for a fact the work wasn't so urgent, and now he's away for two weeks.)
I think he's nervous because he feels like I have a lot more experience than he does, and he's not used to being pursued.
I'm worried on a few levels:
How do I not scare him off? I know he likes me but I don't think waiting for him to make a move is an option, he'll just let it die out.
Good sex is really important to me. I want to be able to have honest conversations about it with him if we keep doing it. I'm very sex positive but deep down a shy introvert too. I can talk about sex to most people but if I feel they'd be awkward about it I feel trapped and lose the courage to do it. | how do I get an introverted guy to not be scared of having any sort of relationship with me (whether it's just sex or more) and to talk openly about sex. |
t3_2ujd6m | relationship_advice | (21F) I need help understanding my new relationship (21M) | I got out of an engagement a year ago and now I'm dating the most amazing guy- and I'm his first girlfriend. It's only been a month and I am sizing him up for husband material. Meanwhile he's saying he could never see himself in a long term relationship and kids are iffy. I had a small freak out and kind of went off on him- even though he did nothing wrong. I've only dated one person before him, so I only know long-term, and I am the queen of commitment. How can I just calm down and enjoy this journey we're on?
I really like him and don't want to mess this up. | I'm queen of commitment and it's his 1st relationship. How can I not ask so much of him? Is this casual dating? What is that? |
t3_1pie7e | weddingplanning | Wedding video pricing? | Our amazing photographers, who are already costing us a pretty penny, have recently launched a wedding video aspect to their business. I inquired about price and it is ~$900 for a 3-5 minute video, which includes 10 hours of coverage, editing time, and a hard copy custom made disk which will be a keepsake. [Example] here. Since we are already paying around $5000 for photos, we're not super motivated to put down more money on a video, even though they are really gorgeous. I told them this and they asked what we would be willing to pay, so here is my question...
What do wedding videos go for? How much would you pay for a 3-5 minute end product? The FH and I agree that we'd pay about $400, but, I think this might be seriously insulting to offer. I know that a lot of time and work goes into making a video, even if you only get 5 minutes at the end...
What are your thoughts weddit? | How much would you pay for a 3-5 min wedding video? Or, what do you think it's worth? |
t3_1ss96v | relationships | Am I expecting too much?? | I (18f) have depression and am a cutter. My boyfriend (19) and I have been going out for about 2 years and a half now. Recently (meaning the past few months) he has been treating me badly, constantly hurting me. I am fully aware that because of my depression certain things that would hurt me wouldn't hurt someone without depression. But it's not little nonsense anymore. Other than that, we were talking and I confronted him about how he is hurting me a lot, I didn't have to tell him what he had been doing that hurts me, he easily listed all the things he had been doing wrong. Yet does nothing about them. He also constantly says sorry, makes a lot of empty promises, and doesn't keep to his word. What I want to ask is he told me sorry again and I said another sorry won't stop me from crying and bleeding (i cut a lot because of things he does). His response? "yeah /=". He literally lives a block away, had an alarm system but knows how to leave without it going off. Was I expecting too much thinking he's care enough to come to my room (separate from the house) to comfort me? | My (18f) boyfriend (19) accepted the fact that I was crying and cutting myself and didn't bother to think of making me feel better. Meanwhile he lives a block away and I have a room separate from the house. |
t3_fy1rh | relationship_advice | Ex-friend stuck in abusive cycle, still want to help somehow | I had a friend, lets call her "Jennifer". She and "Derek" have been dating for 3 years now. In the past, Jennifer would run to my house because Derek would beat her up and would come looking for her.
Derek is a very scary and manipulative man, last year, he broke my window and almost choked his friend with my wii cables in my house. He got away with not paying for damages because his friends lied on behalf saying that he was pushed into the window.
I feel like I've done everything I possibly can for her (I called the cops, took him into student judicial affairs, but she chose him over her friends which ultimately ended our friendship.
Now, last month she called me in tears asking if I can make a statement for her on how Derek effected me because he beat her up and called the cops on her and said that she was the one who was abusing him, resulting in her arrest (He is 6'2'', Korean, and a swimmer and she is petite so come on...). I wrote it for her and I was happy that she was able to see her mistakes...
However last night, I saw them at the bars together. I am in disbelief. I do not want to see her dead somewhere so what I'm asking is how can I help her? Or is she too far from help now? | ex-friend is stuck in an abusive relationship with a scary and manipulative guy and I want to help her because I don't want to see her dead, how can I help or is it just too far gone? |
t3_l9dqi | AskReddit | My GF is an alcoholic and I don't know what to do? | Alright guys, so I've had enough of complying with my gf's habbits and I want to confront her about her drinking. I think that she drinks way too much way too often and I'm not sure how to go about talking to her about it.
The other night she came over with a friend and big surprise they were both drunk. They also carried the half case of booze they were having that night into my apt. I felt terrible as they were loud and rude the entire evening. I felt really embarassed because my brother was here and had to see all of it. (I live with him).
They left my place to get coffee and I went along. I didnt want to go with them because they had been drinking and I hate anyone drinking and driving but i was weak and gave in. Once at the place we hung out outside on a bench. She jokingly slapped me in the face for something i said except it was a damn hard slap. She has a habit of slapping and ive had that conversation with her. She said oh sorry but i felt she didnt mean it. She then decided to go into a shell and not talk to me for the rest of the night and next day. this made me feel like crap even though I feel i had done no wrong. I appoligized just so we can start talking again and now I want to approach her about all the drinking.
Another reason for it is that she is really unhappy with her living situation, at home with family, and i feel that drinking is causing her to be more depressed over alot of things that happen with her family.
I've been dating her for 2 years and when I've tried to talk to her before about itm it didnt go so well. That was maybe half a year ago.
How do I go about talking to her about it without her becoming mad at me? | My girlfriend came over drunk again, and I'm tired of it. Please how do I talk to her about it? |
t3_z82kt | relationship_advice | Stuck in a corner | I recentley moved in with my gf(21)female, me(20) female. We've been going out for almost 8 months and everytime i want to go visit my sisters she gets really upset about it. Acting like im never going to come back.
I told her that i love her but my family comes before everything. Everytime i try to talk about it with her she starts crying and saying that shes a bad gf and that shes selfish for wanting to keep me all to herself.
A week ago i wanted to go to a party, i dont drive so i asked her for a ride. Where we live it takes 5minutes to drive somewhere but two hours to walk there because its a backroads kindof area. She told me i couldnt go because she didnt feel like driving. I felt kindof selfish for asking her but i really wanted to go. I told her it would only take 10 minutes there and back and we got into a huge argument because she told me she didnt want to go because she couldnt go.
I dont know what to do, i do love her and i want to be with her but shes kind of becoming to overly attached. I am her first serious girlfriend but i need space. What to do? | been with girl 9months is really clingy. Talked to her about it and she cries and says shes a bad gf |
t3_3zd1pp | relationships | My (20F) boyfriend (29M) has no desire to make payments on his student loan debt. Could this cause problems for us in the future? | Me and SO have been dating for almost a year now and we are very happy. We treat eachother well and do not hesitate to spend money on one another, or do something nice for the other person. He has a four year degree in media and film, however now he has a decent job at a microchip company which he probably plans to stay at for a while. We have discussed possible marriage situations and future plans and I would love to tie the knot after I finish nursing school and have a stable career. However, he is around 30k in debt for student loans and I am worried that it could cause problems for us getting a home or any other sort of loans.
Whenever I ask him about it he kind of shrugs it off and says everyone is in debt and he doesn't seem to care too much about it. It makes me nervous though because im very good about paying things off. Also he gets kind of mad when I suggest he makes small payments each month because he could easily afford at least a 100$ payment towards it. I even offered to help him make payments but he refuses. Am I being unreasonable in this situation? Do people really let their student loans just sit? Has anyone married someone with debt and how did you deal with it? | Boyfriend is in debt and acts nonchalant about it. Wondering if that could cause problems for us in the future. |
t3_qe7sk | AskReddit | Reddit, my roommates and I just got a call from the debt collection office saying we owe our electricity company $1000. Can they do this? | Hello all,
In 2011, two of my friends and I rented a flat. For the whole year, we did not receive a single electricity bill, however we did get our gas and water (our gas and electricity were from the same company). After a while, we actually noticed they weren't billing us for our electricity, but as normal people, we did not chase them up.
At the end of the year, we decided to move out; we called up our gas and water companies to let them know we wanted to cancel. All of that was done successfully and electricity was not mentioned at all while we were cancelling our gas (remember, they were the same company). Thinking we had gotten away with a whole years worth of electricity, we were pretty glad.
Today, my roommate received a call from the debt collections office claiming we owe our former electricity company $1000.
I'm curious, this is pretty much entirely their fault for not billing right? It's their responsibility to send their customers bills or at least chase up payments through out the year. Can they skip all that and just charge us a lump sum a year later?
I just think it's a little fucked up. Do you think there is any leeway in this? I mean, what if we didn't switch companies and they continued to neglect the bills for several more years. Could they just charge us a lump sum of $3000 or more?'
Thanks all. | Electricty company didn't send us a single bill, nor did they chase the payments for a whole year. Today we receive a call saying we owe them $1000. |
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