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t3_4senfi | relationships | Me [16 M] with this girl [16 F] we slept together and she is clingy now. but i don't want a relationship right now. | I'll probably come off as a huge asshole but I'm not i swear.
I'm not looking for a relationship right now because I'm in high school and i know it won't last long. i know this girl who likes me (Mingzhu) she's chinese and honestly is very beautiful.
i know she likes me because me and her have made out a few times and she's always nice to me. 2 days ago i invited her over and we talked and watched a movie together but then started making out.
i was very turned on and wanted to see how far i could go and long story short we both lost our virginities. it was great and everything but i have noticed she's been **extremely** clingy lately like making me cards and surprise kissing me.
i was going to tell her today that i didn't want a relationship but when i looked into her eyes, i couldn't bring myself to do it. i don't want to hurt her because i hate seeing her cry.
i don't know what to do. | i slept with this girl i know and she's clingy now but i don't want relationship but also don't want to hurt her. |
t3_21cai2 | loseit | How do you maintain weight post weight loss? | For the past month and a half to two months I have been in full on diet/workout/weight loss mode. I have already lost just shy of 20 pounds, and while I still have about 15-20 left to go, I can't help but look to the future.
In order to lose weight I have put myself on the Paleo Diet after seeing my dad switched his diet and saw a lot of weight loss at the age of 60. I don't count calories, I just eat normal portions, until I am full, and snack only when I am hungry. Meat and veggies for every main meal, and a handful of nuts or some fruit as a snack. I also am working out using the bike and going for runs about 3 times a week.
I guess my question is, I am a little worried about how to actually start maintaining my weight when I get down to my goal weight. I have been eating this way about 80% since the start, and for the past 3 weeks been eating strictly paleo. I have been losing weight steadily over that time, but I am just not really sure how to really up my caloric intake without completely changing my diet or feel like I am over eating. I always just stop eating when I am full and snacks usually keep me from being hungry throughout the day. When I get down to my goal weight I just dont want to keep losing weight and have it become unhealthy. I am really enjoying my new change of lifestyle and would like not to change it too much if at all possible.
So I guess | When all is said and done, does anyone have any good tips to increase caloric intake to maintain weight without going overboard and eating too much/unhealthy again? |
t3_wzkza | AskReddit | What would you say to console a loving parent to make them feel better after you've come out to them ? | I just came out to my mom. It was not liberating - infact I feel numb and if anything, I feel like shit.
I am from a very conservative culture, and while she's still processing - I can tell she's very concerned about what 'others' will say and about the rumors that'll fly.
I am not worried about myself - I think i'll be very happy with my 'choice'. I am doing generally well in life and think will continue to do well assuming I don't get hit by a truck or something. But I can put myself in my parents' position and it does suck for them. How are they to answer their relatives who'll nag them to death asking why am I not marrying a girl.
She seems to understand what I am talking about. Though she's still confused because she says it's against nature but I can tell she's probably already started to question any pre-conceived notions about being gay now that her own son is one. We've been through some very trying times together as a family and I have my family's ultimate trust and faith. I think it'll be not too difficult for me to convince them otherwise in case they hear one of those misinformations out there about being gay. But the thought that kills me is the *shame* associated in my culture with being gay and how it'll affect their social standing and life. They've had a very difficult youth - I definitely do not want to be the reason that makes their senior years miserable as well.
Life sucks at times - I understand, but I wish it doesn't have to suck for them for something that is completely about me. I can't think of what to say to her to make her feel better ... I just want to find one consoling sentence to say to her that'll make her feel things are alright ! But something tangible - because she's hella smart and realistic - to still make her look forward to a life where not everything is gloom and doom. | guy from an ultraconservative culture comes out to mom. extremely worried about effect on parents' social life/status as a result of his 'gayness'. |
t3_4wapm2 | relationships | My [21f] boyfriend [23m] won't stop obsessing over the fact that I'm texting people in another language. | My boyfriend, 'Abram', and I have been together for a year and a half. Abram is white, I am korean. Our relationship has been amazing up until a few weeks ago when my boyfriend started to get suspicious of who I have been texting in Korean. I am constantly reassuring him that I am only talking to friends and family but he does not believe me no matter what I say, and it's starting to make me rethink our entire relationship.
A few months ago, I traveled to Korea to visit family and friends who still live there. I recently came back to America. My friends, my boyfriend and I went out to dinner to catch up. While I was telling them about my trip my friend asked if I had hung out with 'Junsun'. Junsun is my ex boyfriend who I dated for almost three years before I broke up with him to come to America. I told her that I didn't and we switched subjects but I noticed Abram was quiet the rest of the night. The day after that, Abram called me and asked me who Junsun was. I told him the truth and he started interrogating me. I was completely honest with him about everything but at the end of the phone call he told me he doesn't believe anything I said. The next time I saw him he asked to see my phone. He looked at all the photos I took while I was in Korea, everyone I had called, and everyone I had texted since then. He then got mad because my contacts and text messages are written in Hangul. He made me romanize all the contact names in my phone but then he says I purposely changed Junsun's name to something different even though Junsun's name isn't in my phone because I don't talk to him at all.
He's very angry with me right now and I don't know what to do because I'm telling him the truth and doesn't believe me. I love Abram a lot and I don't want to lose him over something like this. How do I get him to believe me and to stop being so paranoid over nothing? | My boyfriend thinks I am communicating with my ex boyfriend in Korean and doesn't believe me when I say we're not. How can I get him realize that I'm telling the truth? |
t3_1qk2wm | relationships | I [17 M] really like a classmate [17 F]. We've hung out before, but I think I messed up. Any help? | I was talking to a mutual friend of ours, concerning a boy she's interested in. She brought up me and the girl I'm crushing on, and asked how it was going. After talking a bit, I asked her if she knew whether or not the girl was returning interest to me. She said she didn't know, so I asked her if she could find out. Well my friend talked to the girl, and my friend told her I asked my friend to talk to her. The girl said she's really busy, and doesn't know how to interpret a relationship. She just said I was cool to be around, but wished I'd have talked to her myself.
I want to talk to her myself, but we don't share any classes. The only way I can talk to her is by texting, and that gets boring after a while. Any advice on what to do to fix this predicament? | A mutual friend told my crush that I asked the mutual friend to see if my crush likes me back. Any way I can fix this? |
t3_2g65z0 | relationships | How do I [22F] ask [22M] about intentions without sounding psychotic? | I've had a friend for nearly ten years now who has always had romantic chemistry with me. Timing has never been in our favor, but our friendship has weathered the storms. We recently, both single, started hanging out again. (We sometimes wouldn't talk for a few months, normal for us.)
The tricky part is that I now have a daughter, which is wonderful. However he has mentioned he would have a hard time dating someone with a kid, and fuck buddy is about as far as he would go in that situation.
But now that we are hanging out again he has mentioned more than once that he wants to meet my daughter but I'm also getting some of those romance vibes that we have waltzed around with for nearly a decade.
He knows I'm not interested in the whole FWB situation. So I really want some clarity but I fear sounding like I'm pushing a relationship or one of those crazy ladies who push their kids onto men too early. Because I'm ok staying friends and prefer to push off him being around my kid if he wants to date. I'm just torturing myself about not knowing his intentions. | How to ask a guy early on about his intentions without sounding like I'm taking everything too seriously and have our lives planned out together with a shrine in my closet? |
t3_15qy2d | relationship_advice | My g[f18] is mad at [m20]e on NYE..does she have reason? | So redditors here's the story. My gf is mad that I won't be seeing her on NYE and that I haven't asked my family if they want to go to her fams NYE party. Why you ask? Simple for this NYE it's just my mom, dad, and I. My dad has diabetes and a few other things so he doesn't like to party or things like that. My mom neither, we're just not a family who likes loud parties and stuff. I don't mind them, but they do so I'd rather be home happy with my family and just enjoy it. In recent news she told me that a guy that she hasn't seen since HS, they used to be good friends in HS, is coming over with his family, and this guy turned into a tool/dick head since HS and I don't like him at all but being an understanding BF I said I wasn't jealous or anything and that I love her. Yet she still is mad at me because of my decision to stay home and see her tomorrow. Just an fyi, last year the same thing happened (except the guy didn't go)and she wasn't mad, sad yes but not mad. Correlation? | GF is my mad at me bc I didn't ask my fam to go to her NYE's party b/c I know they aren't into loud get together's or parties. |
t3_2kfozb | legaladvice | Lost my wallet on Wednesday, what can I do to make sure that I am legally safe from identity fraud and the like? | So this past Wednesday I went out with some friends and managed to lose my wallet in one of two locations, my local gym and a nearby Applebees. I've called both of these places and neither one has had a wallet returned to them. I've checked my car as well since I used it to get between the two buildings but had no luck finding it.
I called 911 on Wednesday to report that I had lost my wallet in a public area but they said they would not file a report since it was lost and not stolen. After the call I decided I would wait a few days to see if my wallet would possibly show up at either of the two locations I believe it should be at but still had no luck. On Friday I decided to cancel my Debit card and get a new one reissued and had my gym issue me a new membership card as well.
My only real concern now is that my driver's license is still with my wallet. I'm planning on going to the DMV on Monday so I can get a hold of a temporary license and get a replacement shipped to my house but I'm worried that somebody can still claim to be me with my driver's license. I've been reading up on this stuff online and have found reports of people saying that the DMV doesn't even mark your License as missing in their databases if you tell them that you no longer have possession of it and that they don't deactivate the number in the bottom left corner of the card or anything either. This scares me knowing that somebody could potentially use my driver's license to claim to be me until it expires.
I live in an upper class area with very little crime and couldn't imagine somebody trying to steal my identity with my information but would like to prepare for the worst rather than be caught with my pants down. Is there anything I can do to protect myself under the law should anybody try to use my license? | Lost my wallet and would like to know if there's anything I can do to make sure that I'm safe under the law should anybody try to use my lost driver's license to claim to be me. |
t3_csg12 | AskReddit | Where are the Rhode Island Redditors? | I'm slowly finding that my local friends share hardly any interest with me whatsoever. I moved back to Rhode Island after being gone for 10 years and experience a lot in that time. Things changed; they always do, but my friends didn't. Now, I feel myself growing further and further apart from them because we don't enjoy similar things. I like to stay connected. I like to have a good idea of the social issues going on as well as what imgur has lined up for me today. I like reading reddit, going to live shows, enjoying some beer, etc, etc. There's GOTTA be redditors in Rhode Island that enjoy the same things! | I want some more nerd/reddit friends and I hope they're out there. I'm tired of getting looked at weird when I bring up social/internet issues with current friends. |
t3_1jby0k | AskReddit | What is the biggest coincidence that has happened to you? | For me, I was working at IKEA a couple of years back. I dont like to get haircuts too often so when i do, its pretty obvious. I had just gotten my haircut when my co worker asked, "where do you get your haircuts? it always looks really nice when you get it done." I told him my spot.. The name was called Paris 2000 and a guy named Gabriel would always hook me up with a nice haircut. So he went to paris 2000, asked for Gabriel, and loved it.
For several months he kept going there and would always be happy after Gabriel would cut his hair. Then, on a slow day while we were working together, my friend spots a gentleman and says, "eralv1!! Look who is over there!" I was confused and had no idea who this guy was. He called him over and told the guy, "Gabriel, this is the guy who told me to get my haircuts from you!" We looked at eachother with confused looks and shook eachothers hands. Turned out, there was another Paris 2000 with a guy named Gabriel. | I had recomended a friend to get his haircut from this guy named Gabriel at a place called Paris 2000 and it turned out there was two different Paris 2000s with Gabriels |
t3_fqc0n | AskReddit | My thumb is inflamed, as are a couple tendons (I think that's what they are) in my arm. I have an appointment with a family doctor in 4 hours. Should I go to an ER before then? | red painful lines down my arm (tendons?):
fat thumb:
anyone seen this before? | if you have an infection and red lines going up your arm, GO TO THE ER RIGHT NOW. if you have swollen lymph nodes at the end of those red lines, GO TO THE ER EXTRA FAST! |
t3_2m7jy7 | pettyrevenge | Another Parking Story | I go to a university that has decided that they would rather have more residence halls than parking. Needless to say, this has caused a lot of problems in finding a parking spot for when I commute to class. Usually I ride a bike, but today was extremely cold and I didn't feel like riding in the biting wind. Here's where my story begins:
As I pull into the parking lot, I see a car backing out of a spot. Awesome. It's not every day that I get this lucky. Well lo and behold, there's not just one, but TWO empty parking spots right next to each other. As I drive forward, I see another car coming in from the opposite side. No problem, I think, there's two empty spots, one for me and one for him. Well being the nice guy that I am, I decided to let them go first. Here's where I fucked up. This guy whips in with his Mercedes and decides to park diagonally ACROSS the two parking spots. He gets out, smiles at me, and flips me off. Well fuck this guy.
Fortunately for me, I drive a truck with a really long bed on it. As he walks off, I pull in and back up to where he's blocked in by me. Of course I'm sticking out into the drive a little bit, but that's okay. As I begin to get out of my truck, I remembered that I have window paint in my glove compartment. Why not put it to good use, right? I get out of my truck, go over to his car, and begin my revenge. I colored in all both of his side mirrors, and completely covered his back window in green window paint. So not only is he now blocked in, but now he can't even see out of his windows or mirrors to back up.
Oh, and did I mention that I will be parked there for the rest of the day since I have classes that go until late at night? Hope you like being stuck there for the rest of the day, asshole. | Guy parks diagonally across 2 spots, I block him in and color in his mirrors and back window with window paint. |
t3_3ok8oo | tifu | TIFU by asking for a straw. | Long time lurker, first time properly posting.
This didn't happen today, but yesterday.
A bit of background information. I live in Finland, and the language here is the hardest in Europe. i come from England, but am almost 100% fluent.
After PE, we always have about 30-45 mins before the next lesson.
Being a bit thirsty after basketball, I decide to go to the nearest Hesburger (basically McDonalds). I don't have that much money, so I order some small fries and a medium Coca-Cola. The lady at the the counter gets the drink and French fries for me.
Here comes the TIFU. In Finnish, 'straw' translates as 'Pilli'.
'Pussy' translates as 'Pillu'.
I ask for pussy.
Standing there for a good 5 seconds while the lady just stared at me was the most awkward 5 seconds of my life.
I then realized my mistake, corrected it, grabbed my fries and drink, then went out as fast as I could. | 'Straw' and 'Pussy' translate to ALMOST the same thing in Finnish, I ask for pussy as my local fast food place. |
t3_uu0n4 | relationships | My girlfriend has "lost her love" for me. Not sure what to do anymore. | Me 21, her 21. We've been together for almost 18 months now and have been living together since December. She has her own apartment but only goes to check the mail because of her crazy roommate. So she lives with me. Back during the winter we took a break because things were rough between us (both stressed and couldn't handle each other). At the beginning of January we broke up for about a week. During this week I saw a few girls and she saw a guy or two. We met up and after a long night of crying and apologizing we got back together and have been since then. Everything was running smoothly....or so I thought.
For the last few months that we've been together she hasn't been happy with our relationship because she was pretty much over me when we met up and got back together. We got back together because she missed me and wanted it to work. But since she got over me she has found it hard to "love" me again. The feelings of longing for someone and all romantic feelings have disappeared. She says that she's waiting for them to come back but they just haven't. She cares a lot for me and would do anything for me, but she just doesn't have those "lovey" feelings.
I found this all out on Monday and was extremely surprised (she hid it so well). We've talked a few times this week and we've come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to end things because she doesn't want to 1) hurt me and 2) lose her best friend. She says she wants to have those feelings back and she really enjoys being in my company.
I've tried everything to help reddit but nothing seems to help. Gave her space, didn't help. Do a bunch of things for her to help her out and show her my love, didn't help. I'm running out of options. Do I wad it out or give up hope? Also sorry if I didn't make sense in some parts or skipped around, my mind is a glass case of emotion right now. | Girlfriend has lost love for me but still really cares about me and doesn't want to lose me out of her life. I love her so much but she doesn't reciprocate those feelings and I just don't feel loved anymore. |
t3_330vm8 | relationships | Me (21F) with this friend of mine (21F). What's her deal? | So, there is this girl who I briefly dated when we were both 16 and I used to really like her. The whole situation had a rocky start, with her being unable to choose between a guy and me (later on she would say that the guy was utterly pathetic and she didnt know what she was thinking, which added insult to the injury). Then she broke up with me for another guy, but that didnt last, even though she would tell him that, right before they started dating, that she felt "0,1%" for breaking up with me and the remaining was for him.
We remained friends (we got along great before and despite everything, there was no bad blood, even though the above comments hurt me deeply) but eventually we drifted apart. This year we took up were we left, as far as friendships go. She even invited me to go to the tattoo parlor with her when she got inked. We joked around like we used to and we went to a music festival together. This is were things get weird.
There was an ex boyfriend of hers there (not the above mentioned one) who she dated for a long time. He was there with his new girlfriend and, I don't know of it was to spite her, they went overboard with the public displays of affection. She was affected as predictable but as the night went on, she seemed to not care. Then she started clutching to me, giving me hugs, restinga her head on my shoulder and generally being the gentlemanly self she can be. She also brought weed and encouraged me to drink. The canoodling excalated and a guy even asked it we were lesbians and dating. It continued even though we weren't at the venue any longer but nothing happened.
Then a while later she invited me to spend the evening of her birthday with her and, even though she wasn't as touchy feely as before, she still was a little, even going so much as to sit on my lap to give me a hug. But still nothing happened. | there is this overly touchy feely friend of mine that I used to date and I can't understand what her real is. |
t3_1l9bep | relationships | Was this girl[24/F] hitting on me[19/M]? | I've always been awful at telling when women are attracted to me, so I figured I would see what this subreddit thinks.
I was riding the bus back to campus from my apartment. There was only one other person on the bus besides this girl, I smile at her and she smiles back. We don't talk much at all until the bus driver stops in front of a building and gets out to go piss. She starts conversation asking me about the violin I was carrying on my back (I'm paying my way through school with it.) We talk about what she's doing and what I'm doing and I find out she's 24 (I'm 19, I have a thick, short beard so I kind of look older I suppose.) She's also a PhD student in pharmacology .
She asks me to go check out the ice cream social with her, and I hung out with her for about 25 minutes before I have to head to class and she had to go teach. She asked me to give her my number so I obliged and she texted me. She said I should come chill at her house sometime. I wouldn't say at any point was she verbally flirting with me, it really just seemed like normal conversation except with it being more intense.
I texted her a couple of hours after I got out of class and I'm getting three or four-worded responses. What really throws me off is that she's what I'd consider hot and I almost never get attention from girls higher than a perceived 7/10. She's also an exchange student that recently came from India, she could just be trying to make friends, but I don't know, she did say she wanted to cook me Indian food... | Girl way out of my league invites me to hang out with her and gives me her number, does she want to be friends or more? |
t3_hejth | AskReddit | What would you do if your sister went through cyclic extreme anxiety about being a lesbian? | My sister, now 16, has always been subject to pretty extreme anxiety. She has never been diagnosed with any disorder as far as I know, but has seen professionals for help. (I think Reddit can give better advice) This dates back to at least 4th grade and it seems to come and go in bursts every 3 or 4 months. The range of issues has been to as little as anxiety over a test to anxiety over being lesbian.
Since I have been home (from college), she's been at peak anxiety about being a lesbian. She is currently in a relationship with a boy and is concerned that she doesn't feel anything with she kisses him. This, along with cultural influence (she is really subject to this I have noticed, note there are some characters on Glee now who are contemplating the same thing) has lead her to think she might be lesbian. For some reason, this is unacceptable to her. She is not against gays/lesbians, but she believes that it is not what she is deep down.
My parents have tried everything to help her. They have spent hours upon hours talking to her and discussing the issue. Frankly, they don't give a damn if she is lesbian, they just want to see her happy. My parents handle it extremely well in my opinion, but it is testing their constitution especially now. It was so bad this morning, my mom drove her to the crisis center at the local hospital, but they did not actually go in.
I am not going to say what my opinion is yet, because I would appreciate unbiased responses. So, what would you do in this situation if you were her parents or brother or anyone else in the family?
All I want is my sister to be happy with herself. | My sister needs help controlling her anxiety and/or understanding herself. What would you do if you were a family member? |
t3_1xakp9 | dogs | Advice needed on newly adopted Schnauzer | We adopted an 8 year old Schnauzer two days ago. For the past eight years she has lived with an elderly woman, until very recently when the woman was placed in a nursing home and the dog in a foster home. She appeared healthy when we spent time with her and adopted her.
My concerns are as follows:
In the car she began sneezing thick green mucous with bloody streaks. I took her to the vet on the foster agency list, but came away with little more than I would have learned online. (she has one blocked nostril and he doesn't know why) I want to taker her to our vet, but I am waiting on the agency to get back with me and get me the rest of her records.
I have paperwork that shows that she is up to date on her shots and heartworm prevention. She is also has a microchip. She is very well housebroken, as sweet as can be, and we have really fallen for her. The vet said there should be some blood work or xrays, but the agency should provide it.
I am afraid to wait much longer. She doesn't eat well, but I really think that she is just very picky (we are pretty sure that she ate people food with the way she acts when we cook.) She is active and happy to have a home, but she snores in her sleep and snots on everything.
Not knowing if it is an infection or endangering the other animals is nerve wracking..
If it is serious I am also worried about care or the other animals.
We don't have any other dogs, just a bunny and a bird, but not knowing what is causing her condition has me concerned for their health. | Sick new dog with other pets in the house, waiting on agency vets, worried about the new dog and other pets. |
t3_4tcjrp | relationships | My [25F] boyfriend [27m] keeps making "helpful" suggestions about looking younger. Is it normal that I'm offended? | We have lived together for two years and more than once during that time, he has made off-hand comments about how doing certain things "ages" you. This will be out of the blue, for instance, we were talking about something totally unrelated and he said, "Did you know you're not supposed to take showers every day, because it ages your skin and dries it out?" I said something like well that's interesting and all but I really prefer to shower daily, it's my form of relaxation, to which he got huffy and said he wasn't going to argue, that it was just a fact.
Another time he kept insisting that sleeping naked helps you look younger, based on a study about body temperature during sleep. I said I didn't really like sleeping naked and he acted like I could do whatever I want but that he was "just saying." He has also talked about how it's totally normal to get breast implants or lifts these days when women hit middle age and even after I said I would never get plastic surgery, he said it's so commonplace that he didn't know why I was acting like it was weird.
These are the only instances I can remember so it's not something he harps on all the time, but just a few comments like this has made me feel really bad. I don't understand why he'd say this and get mad when I have different opinions, especially since a lot of people tell me I look young and I always get carded at the store. | BF seems to care a lot about aging, I don't; am I overreacting by being offended/hurt? |
t3_244nq9 | relationship_advice | Guys, how would you respond if your girlfriend asked you how she could best love you? I, [21/f] am thinking of asking my [21/m] boyfriend this | We have been friends for a year and we just started officially dating a few weeks ago. It might be weird to say, but I feel that I am very much in love with this person. Maybe it's because we have been getting to know each other for a while but I feel very much attached to him and connected to him in such a deep way and it feels very much reciprocal. He puts in a lot of effort to make me happy and to fulfill my deepest needs and I want to do the same for him. So, next time we are together I want to ask him "how can I best love you?" I want to send him love in the way that he best receives it. How would you respond if your SO asked you this question? I don't want to make him uncomfortable by asking it but he is very much the romantic type and I don't think he'll be bothered by it in the least. Just curious about what some of you guys think. Also, even though I feel very much in love with him, I haven't told him. I'm going to wait just to make sure it's not infatuation, of course. That's neither here nor there, but just for brevity's sake. | question mostly for guys, how would you respond if your girlfriend asked you how she could best love you? Would you feel freaked out, happy, loved, connected... a mix? |
t3_fkslm | AskReddit | What is the best, non-traditional Valentine's day gift you've ever received? (or gave) | I'll go first! In December 2006, I had been dating a guy I met on the internet for a few months, when he announced that he wanted to visit me (he lived over 2,000 miles away). I gave him permission and he booked a flight. When he told me he was leaving late at night on February 13th, for some reason it didn't even occur to me that he would be arriving on Valentine's day. About a week later, it hit me and I realized what an awesome present he had come up with: himself! When he arrived, he came off the plane with a single red rose. It was the best Valentine's day ever, though we ate at Burger King. No amount of money he could spend on flowers, jewelry, or fancy dinners could ever beat simply being able to share some fries with him for the first time. | Boyfriend arranged it so we would meet the first time on Valentine's day...how very Sleepless in Seattle of him. |
t3_m375g | relationships | Am I a Gullible Fool? | So, my girlfriend (if she could have been considered one) broke up with me a few weeks ago. There was an average build-up before that of about 3 weeks. The relationship itself lasted 3 days, on the second of which we say Paranormal Activity 3. She broke up with me because she felt we should remain just friends (which it turned out was like 25% of the real reason).
The friendship has been a little awkward but no too shabby. A couple of her friends were/are interested in me so I played the field for a little bit, but nothing really sprung. I guess that triggered jealousy or something because I got a random text Friday night saying she feels terrible because "now she realizes what [she] miss[es]". I still do have feelings for her, and I realize she did/does have a lot going on and we talked about trying again after she gets her stuff sorted out. What do you think? Am I stupid for trying? I just feel like if I don't try again I'll wonder "what if". | Gf broke up with me a few weeks ago. I started seeing her friends, not out of hate but genuine interest, and she wants me back. What should I do? |
t3_4kjmgx | relationships | Me [26F] with my SO[26M] of 5 years.He changes our plans and doesn't invite me to gatherings due to my anxiety. | My boyfriend and I have a great relationship overall. One issue we have though is my awkward shyness in social gatherings and my tendency to be more reserved than open around his friends. His friends are generally well rounded and eloquent, and they have plenty of stories to tell ( they travel plenty). I love them, but I find them intimidating...
My boyfriend has been irked by this. He never expresses it during, but months later after all the feelings have built up, he has on some occaisions been close to breaking it off for good.
Now, he never invites me to hang out with his buddies. I'm usually okay with it. But, sometimes he calls to say he wants to see me, and then changes his mind when he finds out that my roommate is at home. He'll call an hour before our meetup to tell me that he decided to go out with his friends instead. I end up feeling very lonely when he does this. I guess its because I know that if it wasnt for my anxiety, he would have asked me to join instead of ditching me. It just feels like rejection. This has happened many times in our 5 year relationship. Am I in the right in feeling upset with him ditching and excluding me?? Or should I just be understanding of his feelings regarding my anxiety around his friends and stay out of it?? I do wish I was able to enjoy my time with him and his friends... | Boyfriend sometimes ditches our stay at home date night for friends when my roommate is around. He doesnt invite me because my anxiety around them makes him uncomfortable. Am I right to feel upset over this? |
t3_50bhyh | relationships | Boyfriends [17M] of 7 month's weird fear is straining our relationship, I [18F] don't know how to work around it | Thanks for looking at this everyone, love this sub and finally made an account that I'll use for it :)
On to the subject, my boyfriend is scared of torchlight (when it's dark) , light from torches, phone torches and even brightening your screen to max and holding it in front of you.
He is not afraid when it's light in the room and maybe you're using it to look under a couch or something, but when the house is dark he hates it
The issue is whenever we're in the same house at night (we go to his nan's holiday house alone sometimes, sleepovers) I always use it when I get up to go to the bathroom or get something, it's just habit and I do it at home all the time, he wants me to just turn on the lights instead but its so much more effort, and it would hurt my eyes (try turning on a light next time you're in bed ;P)
We always argue about it whenever I do it, I think it's just not a big deal and such a stupid fear, he can't describe why he doesn't like it, and he gets so angry about it! Is there any in between that we can use? Like small portable but fixed light? Where does this fear come from and does anyone have experience with it?
Any thoughts or answers are appreciated | Bf is afraid of torchlight, I use my phone torch all the time, causing fights over such a stupid topic! |
t3_23xlch | askwomenadvice | Should I tell her how I feel? | I'm graduating from college next week (age 22M), and moving more than 1,000 miles away the week after for a job. I'm excited, but I'm also at the point of saying goodbye to a lot of people I've become friends with over the years. There's one girl (21) though that I'm not sure how to say goodbye to. We met a couple years ago through an organization we're both in, and became good friends. I went and developed feelings for, which she does not feel for me. She knows this, our entire organization knows this. The thing is, I have never told her myself how I feel. I've dated other people here and there, but always find myself wishing I was with her. I know nothing will happen, but part of me feels like I should tell her before I leave. I don't want to be remembered as the guy who really liked her, but never said anything. But on the other hand, I'm afraid of making her uncomfortable. What do you all think? Should I say something? | ! - I like a girl who knows I like her, I know she doesn't like me, but we've never talked about it. Do I tell her how I feel before I move away? |
t3_fbept | needadvice | Should I tell my current professor that I liked his paper? | Hello,
The other day, we had an exam on computer security, and I read a paper on that. It helped me a lot understand some important security models and get a good grade on the exam. I thought it was very well written and saved it to my laptop.
A couple days ago, I figured that I will be in the class of the professor who wrote that paper. I was wondering if I should tell him or just keep it to myself? Besides the fact that I'm very shy and this is going to be hard for me... The thing is if I do tell him he might get the idea that I'm trying to be nice so I can get a better grade in his class... which is not true!
I just keep thinking, that if I was in his place and I wrote a paper and somebody liked it, I would want to know about it! Because it would make me feel good. | Teacher wrote good paper. It helped me understand things. I'm now in this teacher's class. Should I go to him and say thanks? |
t3_ix3g3 | jobs | Careers offering a good split of physical and intellectual work? | I've just come out of a job which I liked because of the creative freedom it occasionally involved - I was working at a studio where we always had various projects on the go etc. I enjoyed the fact that new things were happening, and because it was a smaller studio, my job title would change day to day from sales rep, to client liason, to writer, etc.
But I was usually spending 8 hours a day at my desk, looking at a computer.
I think I would love a job where I was challenged to do intellectual taks (not necessarily engineering - but something with decision making or people skills involved), but that also had me - at the very least - on my feet a few hours a day, or even doing a few hours of physical labour.
Any thoughts? | I had a job where I spent too long in front of a computer. I'd like something a bit more physically demanding, but not mind numbingly dull either. |
t3_3hh4te | relationships | My roommate [27F] apparently borrowed my [30M] undies. | I posted this to TMR but didn't realize how incredibly slow that sub is.
Throwaway because reasons.
I'm a guy who occasionally likes to wear girly clothes, socks and underwear mostly. I have several really cute pairs of both. I live with a female roommate. She's pretty cool and we're relatively close, talk to each other about future plans, feelings, et cetera. Our rooms are right next to each other and both doors right next to our shared bathroom. That is to say, we both walk by each other's bedroom doors quite frequently.
Anyway, a few days ago I did a load of laundry, in which was a pair of my panties. I took the clothes out of the dryer and tossed 'em in my laundry basket. I hate folding laundry so I usually just bring the basket back to my room, set it on the floor and pick through it for clean clothes until I get around to folding. The aforementioned pair of panties was sitting on the top of the laundry in the basket, clearly visible. I remember this because I saw them and planned on wearing them the next day. The next night after work I go to look for them and... can't find them. I coulda sworn they were in the basket but... oh, well, I just got a different pair from my drawer and wore them instead.
That was a couple days ago. Yesterday I finally folded my clothes and put the empty laundry basket away. Tonight I come home after work and... the panties in question are folded neatly and sitting on my desk. | I'm a guy who likes to wear panties, pair of my undies disappeared for a few days, think my female roommate borrowed them. |
t3_23c493 | relationships | I [16f] am in need of some advice about a potential relationship. | Ok, so for some background, yes I'm 16, but I've already started college, and am working in my field of study almost full time/freelance. Anyway, few months ago I met a guy at work. He's older - I'm not entirely sure how much older, like in the 19-21 range. We kinda hit it off, but he was only in town for that one job, so nothing happened. He recently came back for another job and we got in contact. We went out, got dinner, and eventually ended up kissing+. Everything was fine until I realized "holy shit, does he remember how old I am?" ( When we worked together before he knew my age, and didn't seem put off by it, but I don't know if he remembers my age at all. He knows I graduated hs early - like, really early. And that I'm a freshman in college. - He's a sophmore in college, but he graduated hs like a year early too, if that gives you an idea of age) after that I stopped everything and we ended up cuddling for a while until I had to leave.
I don't see a problem with age difference, since there's no maturity level or life experience difference, but how do I bring this up to him? I'm not yet legal so I dont (and didn't anyway) have any plans of doing anything until I am legal, which is 5 month from now. Aside from that, he's going to be jumping back and forth between here and NY for work.
So....
How do I bring up my age - because I'm not sure if he remembers it? Should I even bother since I'm not legal yet and it would probably be a long distance thing? Thoughts? I'm really interested in him and other than the age thing the only concern is long distance - help? I'm seeing him monday so I have the weekend to figure out what I want... | Potentially dating someone 4-5 years older than me, but I don't know if he realizes the age gap. How to bring this up or should I just forget it since it would probably be long distance anyway? |
t3_4f737c | relationships | My girlfriend [19F]is lying to me [19M]. | I've been dealing with bipolar depression for little over a year now and it's hard, so at the very least you could say I have trust issues.
So my girlfriend started keeping things from me she thought would make me mad and I can't understand it. We noticed after the first lie, a guy I hate (an ex of hers) texted her asking to be friends and she said no and deleted the messages then I found out a few days later, we talked about it and I told her even if it makes me mad you can't do any more to prove your love and trust and honesty if you just tell me what's up. We agreed and I repromised her to be more optimistic if she was just honest and forthright.
Few days later I found out she made a new Twitter and had been on it for weeks, we had both agreed at the beginning of our relationship to delete Twitter because it was just extra unnecessary shit, she told me the same thing she should've told me and she didn't want to make me mad "lying because I love you". I'm on probation so I can't smoke weed like we usually do and at first she told me she would be sober with me and we would endure my sobriety together, I suspected she was still smoking with her friends when I'm not around but I let it go thinking she just needed a little time to process, then I FaceTimed her while she was in the car with her friends smoking and she tried poorly to hide the blunt and smoke it As she was on FaceTime with me and told me it was just a square.
I confronted her she confessed sent me a long ass text and everything. I'm struggling as to whether I should still trust this person after lying to my face, because I've loved her almost 6 months. I don't know | I don't know what to do, if i can keep having my trust broken, if i should break up with her, if i should stay?! |
t3_1p1tb5 | relationship_advice | My bf (23/m) broke up with me (20/F) for ex | We broke up a few days ago. He said things like "If it wasn't for this previous relationship, I'd be with you" and even "If things go bad again with this, I'll probably contact you again". Which is frustrating because it's hard to get over someone if they keep you hopeful. Especially because him and his ex have had problems and he insists that he's probably making a mistake. I've never had this situation before and I've never been left like this. I'm not sure if he was hardcore letting me down easy or what.
Also said that he wanted to continue being friends but we can't hang out. I don't understand why he's bothering to continue a friendship. | Ex left me for his ex. Wants to continue friendship but says hanging out is off limits. His breakup was also very confusing. Not sure what his intentions are. |
t3_1067kw | AskReddit | Being forced to meet my biological father by my mom, I'm 24 now and she went behind my back to do it saying it'd bring me "closure." What sneaky things have your parents done that you were completely unaware of? | I recently got informed that my real dad was going to be going through town, and would be staying with my mom. I've never met him, from what I heard he ran out on my at a month old, knocking my bassinet over on his way out. The one and only time he contacted me, I was in third grade, received a letter that I responded to, but got nothing but a return to sender after I sent it. Iv'e never really had interest in meeting him, I've told her that. But she goes around telling everyone the opposite, that I'm excited and have been counting down the days for me to get some sort of closure. I sort of feel like it's too late, I'm 24 now, I have two kids, I just want to live my life how I have. I kind of feel like she's just trying to get information about my great grandparents out of that side of the family, since someone long ago mentioned something about a possible inheritance, which I feel is really messed up. D: | My mom planned for my "dad" to come to town, and I feel she is scheming in some way to learn about an inheritance. |
t3_2q0np6 | relationships | My [35/M] GF [31/F] (LDR of 7mos) is buying a Christmas gift for her exBF [31/M], that she also works with. Should I say something? | My (35M) gf (31F) was using my tablet and saved her Christmas list on it. She accidentally emailed the list to me last night.
She texted me this morning and said she accidentally sent me her list, and that it would be cheating if I looked at it. I looked.
I wasn't even on the list. But, her exBF was #1 on it. His gift was still blank, but all the others (about 6, including family), were filled-in.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. They still work together daily, and I can deal with that. But, I'm wondering if this means she's still hot for him.
It wouldn't bother me too much, except I worry that she's dating me because I'm a successful (out of shape) lawyer. He's a low skilled labourer, but swole.
What should I say, if anything? | GF 31/F is buying Xmas present for old bf she works with. I'm unsure if I should even mention that I know. |
t3_3mpm2t | dating_advice | American(25 m) fell for a German woman(20 f) while she was working in my city. Need advice on how to proceed next. | I am an American man aged 25 and I fell for a beautiful German woman I met at my work. She was here working as an au pair.
I work on a military base on the western coast of the USA in the recreation department and she would come to my facility a lot with the young boy she watched. We talked a lot and we became friends quickly. We spent some time together in and outside of my work and I developed feelings for her.
I'm not the kind of guy to make a move too quickly and I also didn't want to scare her off. I could tell she had interest but was also being somewhat guarded because she knew she was leaving.
At the beginning on August she moved with the family to the eastern coast of the United States. Since then her and I text almost everyday and Skype at least once a week. We flirt and laugh and there is a lot of chemistry between us. I have developed some strong feelings for her and think she may have feelings for me too. I haven't said anything because I'm afraid of how she may react.
The job I work is a seasonal job and it ends at the beginning of November and starts again in March. My idea is to possibly move to the east coast for two and half months to spend time with her. I'm not going to flat out ask her to be my girlfriend or anything. I just want a chance to really get to know her and and see if this is real. That isn't going to happen with just texting and Skype. She goes back to Germany in March.
So my question for you all is: how should I approach her about my idea? Should I just tell her exactly how I feel? Should I ask her how she feels? Is it a bad idea altogether? How to tell her about this idea without coming off as a total creep/stalker? What would you do in my shoes?
I'm crazy about this girl. She's like no one I've ever met and I feel like I have to at least try or I'll regret it forever. Thank you for reading my post. Any and all help and advice appreciated. | Met a foreign woman in USA who now lives in a different state than me, how do/can I make this work? |
t3_127czr | relationships | Feel like I'm missing out. 21M 20F | Hey all,
So I'm 21M and she's 20. We've been together for almost 2 years now and we've been perfect. I mean we generally talk about anything and everything, but lately she doesn't want to do things, she doesn't look after her health: for example her sleeping pattern is "wake up at 1pm sleep at 6am". Always complains about back pain and being tired, we recently went for a walk which was 2kms and she was complaining after that, which isn't very far at all..
Things that didn't annoy me before now do, she wants misses at every red light when I'm driving, kisses when we go to the shops whereas I want to hold her hand and not PDA.
We barely go out and I go to hers and we watch tv, but she doesn't sleep so when im trying to fall asleep at 1am her light and tv is on. Sometimes she talks to me like I'm an idiot, we were planning a trip with her friends (who I don't really talk to) and we paid $100 deposit. It came to a large amount and she said "it's ok we get our deposit back" and I said "no we get the bond back, a deposit is to just hold the house so they don't book others in it" and she snapped and shouted "we get it back! It's a DEPOSIT" and I explained to her what a deposit and bond is. Anyway that bugged me too.
It feels like I'm writing a list of things that annoy me and it's getting pretty long..
Personally as well I like time to myself and with my friends, I feel I don't get this as I'm working and studying, when I get home I want to chill out but it's either see her or friends and I disappoint someone if I don't do either of those.
And also she is my first girlfriend and I feel as if I'm missing out on experiencing others. I mean I've been hit on recently and it's very flattering, she gets hit on all the time and I feel jealous, she doesn't when I get hit on.
Ahhh someone be my therapist haha.
End of my vent. | I'm (M21) feeling a bit over it all after being with F20 for almost 2 years. First girlfriend, first love, first sexual relationship. |
t3_2vsnqv | tifu | TIFU by freezing my balls.... Almost literally | I was in bio lectures and I was feeling super sleepy so I popped out to grab a coffee.
I ended up falling asleep anyway... Eventually the lecture ended and I jolted awake.... Hitting my coffee in the process spilling it all over my crotch.
Now you must be thinking " why isn't the post about the op burning his balls?"
Well what I didn't mention is at I'm Canadian. Today was a typical Canadian winter day, the type where you tried to stay in as much as possible, covered up or got frostbite, and the type where liquids freeze in just seconds.....
During the walk between classes, all that coffee that I split mostly froze.....
I'm pretty bummed about this though b/c a good portion got onto my sweater which happens to be a quite nice one that I really like and I'm pretty sure I can't wash.. | split coffee on my crotch, went outside, crotch area froze, smelling like coffee and $100 sweater now has a stain that I don't know if I can remove |
t3_sawtj | AskReddit | Islam/Non-Islam Relationships | I have been in love with a girl for over three years, but our relationship has deteriorated recently due to coming to terms with the fact that we might never be able to be together. Her family will never accept me because I am not muslim, nor do I ever plan to be. I don't care for any organized religion at all, much less one that has institutionalized the degradation of women. She is not a practicing muslim, but her parents actually grew up in Pakistan and are still pretty traditional. She would have to leave her family to be with me, and that is not what I want at all. I would have liked a reasonable outcome, but it doesn't look like it will happen. I am getting too old to be spending my life hiding from her parents like a teenager. Any advice, or even just an e-shoulder to cry upon? | I can't marry the girl I've been dating for over three years because her muslim family will not accept my agnostic ways. |
t3_4wll76 | relationships | I [24 M] had a long and meaningful chat with my crush of several months [23 F] last night for several hours. I now feel that any romantic moves would jeopardise that trust. | Several work friends and I went to a festival this weekend (including my crush who is a colleague from another office but we are all close) and we had rented a room in a hostel for the night.
We all got separated and I went back to the room early and my crush came back in the small hours of the morning. Our beds were head to head so she started talking to me and we just talked about all these different topics until the sun came up. Serious stuff like "what is something else that nobody else knows about you"; we discussed tough years in our lives that led to depression and our recoveries but we also talked about our shared intimacy issues. She went as far as to say she didn't let people touch her unless she was attracted to them; whilst I was caressing her arm yet she was not indicating for me to stop and seemed content.
She also described how I was someone who made her feel at ease and at home where she was. As well as being a light in her life and a great person to have around.
Then later on she said she wanted me to hear something from her and no-one else: my flatmate had asked her out. She had declined the offer but started apologising profusely to me. I've no idea why she started doing it but she could tell I was a tad irked but I didn't understand the need to keep saying she was sorry. She even went so far as to tell my flatmate not to tell me.
The next day she just seemed so distant from me (I've never made any romantic gestures towards her but I was considering it) as she told me how she was a commitment phobe. I asked her if she remembered anything from last night (we'd all been drinking) and she said it was all crystal clear and that I now knew things about her that only her best friend knows (even though I've only known her for 6 months now).
Suddenly she's being very hot and cold so I don't think it's worth risking all this newly placed trust over asking for a date. | Crush and I had a long meaningful talk with flirting but the next day she seemed distant and standoffish. Is there any point risking our current relationship for anything romantic? |
t3_xzdr2 | dating_advice | F23 dated M28 off and on this past year. I wanted a relationship, he wanted sex, now we're about to start working together in a month. Need advice! | I met this guy last year about this time. We really hit it off, had lots of fun and great sex. And then suddenly he ended things claiming he felt no connection. 3 months later he messages me out of blue to say hes made a mistake and wants to try things for real. After I took a couple days to think about it, I told him I had my reservations but lets give it a shot and then again he changes his mind about the relationship. Long story short, we ended up only having a sexual relationship despite his knowing my feelings. This has been off and on since then. A few months of no talking and then sex, rinse, repeat. Hes made it clear he doesn't want a relationship, and maybe I'm being foolish, but he'll tell me he misses me and play with my head and then he'll just not respond to texts.
Ordinarily, this would just be your average, run of the mill, "why doesn't he like me!" thread except that in about a month, through some twist of fate, we'll be working together for the next few months and I'm not sure how to handle it. I don't want to throw myself at him anymore, and I want to be professional, but I'm also worried that just may not happen or be realistic. What can I do and what should I watch out for? Serious advice needed please. | dated/sexed a guy on and off this past year and now were about to work together in a month! Need advice. |
t3_3j3ye5 | relationships | I [31 F] think my neighbor's daughter [16 F] who was babysitting my son [5 M] gave him coffee before bed. | Last week my husband was on a business trip, and I had to work late. I mentioned to my neighbor, Nick, that I was looking for a babysitter for my son Cooper, and wondered if he knew anyone.
Nick told me that his 16 year old daughter, Emma, was hoping to get started babysitting this year, and would be happy to take care of my son for a few hours for free.
Before going to work yesterday, I thanked her for agreeing to watch Cooper after school for the few hours before I came home. She said "Really, you should thank my dad... He made me do this." I was a little uncomfortable with this, knowing she didn't want to be doing it, but I had no time to make other plans.
When work ended, I got on the highway to drive home, and there was a traffic jam that held me up for over an hour. I called my house to apologise to Emma about how I'd be back late, and she said "Ok, but try and hurry.. I have homework I haven't started tonight."
When I got home Cooper was very hyper. He mentioned to me that Emma had made them chocolate banana milkshakes, but he didn't like his too much because it was weird and bitter tasting. I thought that was strange, because neither of those ingredients should be bitter.
This morning, after having a lot of trouble getting Cooper to sleep the night before, I realized what might have happened... I gave Cooper a small sip of my coffee, and asked him whether Emma's milkshake had tasted like that... He said "Kinda... But I'm not sure, it was just gross."
I can't be sure she gave him coffee, should I say anything to Emma's father? From the way she seemed annoyed with having to babysit, I definately suspect it... | Neighbor's daughter babysat my son and may have given him coffee at night, annoyed that I got stuck in traffic and came home late. Should I confront her father, or her? |
t3_r8qj7 | AskReddit | so I did something bad and enjoyed it...what is wrong with me? | So about 2 years ago, a girl made me really sad by leaving me.
Most of her reasoning for leaving me cause fueled by 1 guy, her friend (guy, completely friendzoned). Even after I tried to get her back..he would be there just speaking out against me. He won...but she never fucked him.
Anyways 1.5 years go by, I run into him at a bar..and he is with his gf.
I eventually approach his gf, get her #.
Her gf and I go out for a drink (he did not see me talking to his gf), about a week later...I banged her at her place..and did so for about a month...at one point he walks into us. I get up get dressed, she starts crying, he starts crying and I am feeling on top of the world.
I go over to him while he cries and screams and I tell him "how is [that girl that left me], oh well...your gf fucks better than her" and left.
was this wrong?....how messed up am I?
she was like a 6.5/10...so not my proudest moment.... I did her because of who her bf was.
I felt good knowing that I had hurt his feelings...and I did. | guy steals girl from me but doesn't even have sex with her.. 1.5 years later, I banged his gf and made him cry. |
t3_4ugjt8 | relationships | I [37 M] and my wife [38F] of 6 years, have an amazing relationship, but I want so much more. | My wife and I have been married for 6 years. We have two amazing children, 2 difficult and fulfilling careers in the performing and healing arts and a history of sexual intimacy problems. Don't get me wrong, we are very emotionally intimate, but perhaps some early trauma early on in both out lives left us with particular ways of both addressing needs, and getting needs met.
Our sex is so-so. Sometimes hot, sometimes sputtering. I dont have a tactile memory of it ever being really exciting. But we are very tender with each other.
She is open to having other partners, but not now.
The kids, work all are too much at this moment. I am currently undergoing massive change in diet, activity, spirituality, and my sexuality and really, really crave physical,and emotional connection- an understanding if you will.
A few weeks ago, I met a woman in my profession that left me completely razzle-dazzled: She is beautiful, extremely intelligent, and I expressed attraction to her. My insides were so shaking that I don't even remember her response! Since then, I have been reading poetry, singing songs, thinking about her non-stop practically...this feels like love.
I know that I'm/we're supposed to live our lives in a full way, but I'm not sure what that looks like. To repress or not is a question. But to be true to myself and others is not, I don't think.
Any ideas? | I have an amazing relationship and family life, but want to explore some homoerotic and poly amorous feelings. Am unsure if this can be integrated into my life in a healthy way. Any advice? |
t3_1jfrkq | relationships | I [36m] always seem to ruin my relationships with my fantasies. I have lost 2 long term relationships with women I have children with because of it. Am I really just a freak? | So since I was a young teen I have had a thing for wanting to be dominated by my SO. It ranges from mild to very extreme (I wont go into more detail here because this is not the place for it). I have never even mentioned the extreme stuff to anyone, yet it seems even when I mention the mellow stuff it sends women running. Am I just a freak? Or am I just finding the wrong women. I know there are a few out there, but should I just try and squash 24 years of desires instead of thinking I will find someone? | I have long wanted to have a dominant SO but everyone I find thinks it is nasty. Should I just try and squash my longterm desires instead? |
t3_3c09h1 | relationships | My boyfriend [25M] wants me [22F] to initiate sex more often. He gets into bed and falls asleep before I even make it into the room. Help please!? | We've been together a year and a half, living together for 6 months. We've both noticed that were not having sex as often as we would like to, and are making an effort to do it more often. When we were talking about it, he told me I never initiate anymore and he misses that, so I said I'd try to change this.
Problem is, our evenings are really rushed. We don't get home until about 7:00 most night and we're in bed by 8:30. In that time, he showers, we make dinner, go for a walk, and do the supper dishes. When it's time for bed, he flops face down into the bed and falls asleep while I'm still brushing my teeth. It's not intentional, but he's so exhausted that he can't help it. He's told me that if I started with a bj after he gets into bed, he'd be good to go regardless of how tired he is. I'd like to try this but I can't give him a bj when he's *sleeping on it*.
Any suggestions, ideas, thoughts you can share with me? | boyfriend wants me to initiate sex more often but falls asleep before I get the chance to. What can I do? |
t3_1afybf | relationships | I [20m] am sitting on the edge of the friend zone with this girl [21f]. How do I proceed? | I [20M] met this girl [21F] at the end of summer (so about 7 months ago) and we immediately hit it off, instantly becoming the best of friends. She had a boyfriend [20M] in another country, but I started to develop feelings for her. We spent a lot of time together, and without realizing it things shifted to a romantic context. (Side note: I am very socially awkward and have trouble understanding social queues like flirting, so I did not realize the two of us had been flirting)
We fooled around for a few weeks, but I felt increasingly guilty about her situation with her boyfriend. Around this same point I started to get more and more needy/clingy not to mention I told her how I felt about her, so she just pulled back. I worked towards becoming friends with her again but it took some time. This cycle happened a few times where after being friends for a while I would start to treat her more like we were in a relationship and she would pull back.
I finally realized that I just needed to get myself under control if I was ever going to be in a relationship with this girl. So I cleaned up, read up on how to flirt and talk to the opposite sex. It worked very well, she really responded to that. Now here I am and we are spending a ton of time together again. I regularly take her out to dinner and the like, and she shows all the signs that I have read online that she is into me, (EX: twirling/playing with her hair, fake punching me, touching my legs with hers) but I'm torn. I really like this girl, probably one of the nicest and most fun people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I'm worried that if I make a move on her again, and she really isn't interested it will strain the relationship beyond repair. At the same time it tears me up inside to feel like I am at arm's length away from her at all times. What should I do? | I have feelings for a girl with a boyfriend, but she is responding to me with all of the classic flirting signs that I understand girls do. What do I do? |
t3_t5p9m | AskReddit | Mom has always spoiled sister - not sure what to say anymore. Is it worth the fight? | I'm not sure where to start, but I'll keep this as short as possible.
I was always a goody two shoes growing up, made straight As, never really got in trouble for anything.
Immediately after graduating high school I moved 10 hours from home, got a job working at a school full-time. I took a year off waiting to start college so that I could get instate tuition. I then graduated college in 3.5 years, while working full-time and making a 3.8 GPA. I had to take out loans for every part of this, including extra money on top of tuition for books as I was making just enough to pay my bills.
My younger brother has been the same way - works his ass off to pay his bills and joined the National Guard to make sure he'd be able to pay for college without being as in debt as I now am.
My little sister, the baby of the family, has always been the one that gets away with anything (typical). She missed so many days in school and was failing so many of her classes that she spent Junior and Senior year in a secondary school for "problem" students...she scraped by and somehow will indeed be graduating. I just learned that my parents are buying her a VW Beetle for her graduation. She doesn't plan to go to college.
As I'm currently working 2 jobs and barely paying off my student loans, I can't help but be upset that my parents are about to drop a large chunk of money (which would greatly decrease the monthly interest on my student loans).
I'm sure many people on here have dealt with a similar situation. Is it even worth talking to my parents about this? I know it will be an ordeal, but I can't help but feel as though I've been punished my whole life for doing things responsibly. | Mom and Dad give little sister, who is incredibly irresponsible, anything she wants. I'm incredibly in debt from college and they are about to buy her a car. Not sure if it's worth the fight to bring up. |
t3_42t3uv | relationships | My wife[31f] won't give me[33m] oral anymore. Don't know what to do. | Yes, I know I'm not 'owed' oral, etc etc. I enjoy giving oral to my wife and she actually enjoys it quite a bit, insisting on it regularly, but the frequency of her reciprocation has decreased to nothing however. We've been together almost 3 years, got married about a year and three months now. After our honeymoon it has decreased until about seven months ago when it has completely stopped. I've asked her about throughout these times and she she sort of hymned and hawed and said she'd try more, just didn't feel like it right now, etc.
Relatively recently, she's fully said that she didn't enjoy it at all and did not want to do it anymore. She agrees that she should have made her views well know but thought that would make her less desirable. However, she will not continue it in any capacity, she just doesn't want to do it and doesn't want to pretend like she does anymore. I'm a pretty staunch feminist and told her of course she didn't need to do anything she wasn't comfortable with and she didn't owe me anything. But where does that put us now? I actually like oral on the same level of sex if not a little more (extremely rare I guess?). I kind of slightly resent that she was doing it all along even though she didn't enjoy it as well. And that she didn't tell me at all this is what she was feeling all this time. I'm sure there are guys out there that don't like oral as well, just like there are girls out there that enjoy oral.
What should I do? Get over it I guess? I feel like this is negatively impacting my view on the relationship, making me resentful and questioning the relationship. I'm not sure where to go from here. | wife doesn't like giving oral, this is news to me. I don't want to force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, straining the relationship in my view, not sure where to go from here |
t3_15kdjz | relationship_advice | I haven't spoken to my mom for 9 years and need advice regarding if I should reach out again. | I stopped talking to my mom 9 years ago due to her physical/emotional abuse that was often fueled by drugs ( mostly alcohol and cocaine). I don't necessarily blame her for this since she had an extremely rough childhood compounded with several mental disorders (Dissociative identity disorder & PTSD). As a defensive mechanism, when I was only 15 years old I vowed to never speak to her again. Of course, the childhood didn't leave me unscarred and have been constantly dealing with my own "mental disorders." It has been 9 years since I last spoken a word to her and as we both get older I often wonder if I will ever regret excluding her from my life. She still an alcoholic and worst of all she still denies that she has any substance abuse disorders. Due to this I am afraid of opening the line of communication.
So those who have been in a similar situation with a family member what advice do you have for me? To those who never spoke to their family member again due to abuse did you ever regret it after they passed away? Or those who spoke to them how did that turn out?
Thank you! | I [24 yo] havent spoken to my mom in 9 years due to abuse that was fueled by drugs. Should I reopen a line of communication or continue to ignore her? |
t3_2lm2s9 | tifu | TIFU sitting in my friends class | This didnt happen today, it actually happened yesterday but I was too buzy to post it so i'll post it today. I had just gotten out of class at around lunch time and my friend and i were going to go eat.The FU happens because I had already eaten a snack so I decided I would eat in an hour, but we had some stuff to do so I forgot to eat in my free time. I sit in on my friends class and catch up on homework/reddit because we hang out after. Now this isnt really an FU until later on. As im sitting, I hear my stomach grumble, now this is a lecture hall so its too big for people to notice and my friend doesnt really care. When it started grumbling, I had three choices: I could bus home, go get something to eat in my university, or just wait it out. I messed up guys... I was going to wait it out. These three transfer students from some middle eastern country come in and sit right next to me. I have my headphones on so im not paying them much attention. As the class continues, I keep seeing them laughing about something. The thing is that they are staring right at me as they laugh. I didnt care much because I thought it was an inside joke. For 2 hours these guys are laughing at something, then my friend whispers that he thinks they are laughing at me cuz my stomach. So i take my headphones off and try to listen for my stomach, I hear a few things grumbling and the two people furthest away from me keep giggling. THEN i hear one of the guys stomachs next to me and he blames it on me. THIS WHOLE TIME HIS STOMACH HAS BEEN MAKING noise BUT HE HAS BEEN PINNING IT ON ME.... SO HE DOESNT SEEM LAME TO HIS FRIENDS. Sigh.... I was laughed at for 2 hours... doesnt feel too good oh well. | Skipped lunch;Sat in friends class for 3 hours; had 3 people laugh at me because of my stomach noises; 1 of the guys had stomach noises more than me... but blamed it on me. |
t3_1n0co2 | dating_advice | What do you talk about with someone you don't really know/just met {15}? | *Everything after this is just backstory and a bit of information, not necessary to read*
I'm {15,M} trying to get closer to a girl {15} I went to summer school with (for advancement). Summer school has long since ended (about 2 months ago) and I didn't really talk to her, although she knows me as a nice guy. Like I said, I've never really talked to her. I'm also very awkward (I know it and she told me straight up) but I still would like to get friendly and eventually ask her to be my girlfriend.
I've considered multiple things/ways. Ask her to take a walk around campus and sit her down and ask her. In the back of my head I know she'll say no because we don't talk much, but that's mainly due to the fact that I don't know what to talk about!
I know that she's into writing (she has written a few short stories, some I've read some I haven't), she also very much enjoys texting which I am bad at. I can be very interesting for about half an hour and then just blank out and not know what to talk about.
Really, all I want to know is what I should do, say, ask, how long to wait, etc. I don't know this girl very well and I'd like to get closer to her if possible. | Title+Really, all I want to know is what I should do, say, ask, how long to wait, etc. |
t3_3adi5f | personalfinance | Paid a parking fine for a car I rented, but car company charged me extra for "admin costs" 3 weeks after fine was paid. | Hi reddit, I am an international student studying in Brisbane, Australia. During a 1 week break in April, my friends and I took a trip down to Byron Bay to see the beach and sunrise at the lighthouse at 6am. Since there were no parking left, We parked illegally beside one of the lots. We came back to a hefty fine, and decided to split it among all of us.
We had decided to appeal our case before that. After writing to the New South Wales SDRO to appeal the fine, we waited for about 4 weeks, after which we were told we needed a statutory declaration of the driver of the vehicle from the car company. So after 4 weeks of calling the SDRO we finally were told this. Now, the car company charges 40 aud for preparing a statutory declaration. We decided this was not worth it so we ended up paying the fine (7th may).
A month later, we get a fine reminder in the mail including a statutory declaration with my name on it and 40aud deducted from my account. I called the car company, telling them about what they've done and how unnecessary it was. They asked for a copy of the fine payment receipt, which I sent immediately after they asked for it. Also told them if they need further verification of the date of payment, to call the SDRO themselves to check. They replied me with their procedure of how they would file a statutory declaration. I told them that I didn't need to know that and that I wanted my money back. I got no response.
I called them to ask why they did it, to which they replied that they received a reminder from SDRO. I called Sdro, who said that it was automated reminder. After a month from me paying.
Reddit, how do I handle this? I need my money back for a service I was charged for unnecessarily. | Rental car. Parking fine. Paid it. One month later, get charged 40 aud by car company for "admin fee" I didn't need. |
t3_19fwlc | relationship_advice | I [f/26] don't know what to do about a confusing ex [m/26] | I am looking for advice regarding my exboyfriend. We dated for 5 and a half years before he drunkenly broke up with me one night after we had been looking at apartments to move into. We taught in Korea for a year and traveled SE Asia for a year and a half of our relationship. There was no warning for the breakup. I suspect that he got scared about long term commitment and moving out, but he stated that it was because he did not see a future with me.
After about 2 months of being broken up, we decided to become friends... which quickly turned into friends with benefits. This has been happening for the past six months. Last month he told me that he didn't know if he wanted to try to be with me or if he should wait to see if he would find someone else... that being with me would be "easy" because he knows me so well. He refuses to say what we are and I want input about whether or not I should just give up and believe that we will never be together in that way again.
He is my best friend, so of course this hurts, but I don't know if I am wasting my time hoping that he will come around. Thanks | Basically I have been seeing an ex and want to know if I should wait for him to make a decision about dating me |
t3_1o77fu | relationships | Me [19 F] and my boyfriend [20 M] of 14 months moved in together about 3 months ago. having a lot of issues and need advice. | back in june, my SO and i moved into his mom and stepdads house. things were going great between us right before the move, but almost immediately things got worse.
so, just a little back story, him and i were living in the same city, me with my mom and him with friends. after his and his roomies relationship deteriorated, he wanted to move back in with his mom who lived 40 some miles away. he strongly urged me to move in with him due to fears that we wouldnt spend much time together because of opposing schedules (he works full time nights and i part time days). plus i needed to move out of my moms because of other issues.
so i moved in with him. right away i noticed a change. he was less attentative and affectionate. i figured maybe it was cuz of his mom and being uncomfortable with being lovey dovey around his family. i gave him some time to adjust, but it didnt get better. we no longer do things together, talk about things like we used to, and he doesnt seem to concerned with making time to do things.
so now its come to the point where i feel like im living with a roomie instead of my bf. ive talked with him about the issue many many times, and he just sorta makes me feel like im over reacting. which sucks and kinda makes me question whether or not i am.
i dont want to move back in with my mom just because i was in a very bad place there, lots of anxiety and mental/verbal abuse through my child hood. was just time for me to move out and i dont want to go back.
anyway, im just really frustrated and would really appreciate some words of advice | moved in with my boyfriend to keep relationship going, relationship went to shit instead. im miserable and frustrated, need advice on what to do |
t3_37mf0n | relationships | Me [20F] with my ex-boyfriend [22 M] dating 5 months but getting back together problems. There are other females in the picture. | Ex and I broke up due to long distance a few months ago. We found out we will be in the same town for our internship, so we decided to move in together.
A month later, I got into a school close to him. I visited to check out the school and we ended up spending the week acting like we were back together. We are planning on being together when we're together. He has a thing with some girl (supposedly not serious because she'll be studying abroad all next year).
I left and I told him that I'm not trying to force him to do anything but I just wanted to let him know that him seeing other people hurts me. He still wants to see them until the semester is over. Is this okay? I'm hurt and I feel like he's trying to get the best of both worlds. He talks about her sometimes, too. | Ex and I broke up due to long distance, but stayed in contact. Planning on getting back together this summer. Should he still be seeing people? |
t3_240m8t | relationships | Me [25 F] with my EX [25 M] had sex with me, then dumped me again. | I'm sorry for spelling mistakes. I'm in too much pain right now.
We broke up 1 week ago, I accepted it and we talked like friends. Yesterday he asked if he could visit me, in only 1 hour and a half, he managed to have sex w me. I didn't want that because I didn't want to be his Fwb or sth. But I still have feelings for him and then I agreed.
I felt sth wrong so I asked him to come by my house to talk. He agreed and right after he came, one of his pretty friends called him to have a coffee with her, he agreed to meet her in an hour. So he had planned to meet me in only half an hour. That's what he treated a free prostitute like me.
And after I told him my feeling, he decided to no contact w me again. And he continued blaming me for my past mistakes that lead to this result. He said he had no fault at all.
I'm crying. I dont know how could I chose him in the 1st place. I should have listened to my friends and my mom to break up with him 1 year ago. I feel so stupid and painful right now. | my( 25F) EX [25 M] had sex with me, then dumped me again. How not to feel self-worthless ? |
t3_18d4n1 | relationship_advice | Girlfriend is religious and wants a religious wedding. I am an atheist and don't want a religious wedding. Feel conflicted about her request. Lost about how to go about this. Should I give in or not? | I am 31M and she is 31F. We have known each other for 9 years now but have been dating each other only for the last few months. A wedding is on the cards about a year from now but we have conflicting opinions on this front. I am not yet engaged to her.
She is Hindu, I was one as a kid. I respect her choice to be religious as long as it doesn't lead to actions on her part that affects my relationship with her negatively. I am not very happy about taking part in religious rituals and saying prayers that I find meaningless. I don't recognize the authority of a priest to approve of my union with her either. But she wants a religious ceremony with a priest. I can't help but feel all of this is a big farce that I don't want to be a part of on a special occasion in our life. I get this feeling that it spoils the sanctity of our wedding. I agreed to take a meaningful oath from religious scriptures minus references to god and anything irrational. I also agreed to walk around fire 7 times as Hindus do but she isn't happy with this.
On the other hand, if marriage is about give and take, then should I just ignore my own feelings about this and do it for her? I could do this but I am afraid I would be setting the wrong idea right off the bat that I am willing to compromise on my beliefs. Somewhere I can't help but feel that I have to kill a part of me on a very special day. Is this what it takes to make a marriage? Where do I draw the line between holding onto my beliefs and giving them up for the sake of my relationship? | Need advice if I should suspend my atheistic nature and take part in a religious ceremony that I find meaningless, to make my wife happy and begin a married life without conflicts? |
t3_2t0qab | relationships | Me [26 M] with my fianceé [25 F] 4 years, do I really need a prenup? | Trying to be as simple as possible:
Started dating when we were both in college still. She cut hair for just over minimum wage, I worked at a gas station for just over minimum wage.
We moved in together with nothing but a mattress, two laptops, a tv, and a couple of junk dressers and desks three years ago.
She finished school and is now a nurse. I dropped out after being offered the job I was going to school to get (I'm a web developer).
She's making about $60,000 a year. I'm salary at $65,000. We both have good health insurance through our jobs and 401k's.
We own a home together. It isn't anything fancy, probably $80,000 in equity, both drive decent cars, maybe $20,000 liquid assets. We have only joint accounts. Both names are on everything.
No kids, don't plan on having any. Getting a vasectomy soon. Neither of our parents are overly well off, she has 2 siblings that she'll be splitting inheritance with, I have 5 siblings to split mine with.
If we split everything 50/50 and walked away I think we'd be on pretty even ground, both of us are above national averages and could survive on our own comfortably.
We're getting married in March. I don't really see a reason for having one, but everyone keeps telling me it's an absolute must. I'm pretty good at what I do, but I doubt I'll ever be Mark Zuckerburg or the like. She'll probably top out around $85,000 a year and I'll top out at $100,000 a year. Everything we'll ever have will be pretty evenly earned. | Dating 4 years, started with nothing worked together to get to being reasonably well off. No huge income discrepancy, no kids, no huge assets on either side. Do I really need a prenup? |
t3_122uym | relationships | [25M here] Girlfriend [27F] wants to get pregnant? What to do? | Before I hear the "LEAVE NOW" speech, JUST READ:
She actually has several problems with trying to get pregnant. She has had multiple cysts / blood clots and has had to have surgery 3 times to correct her ovaries as a result. Doctors have told her if she plans on having kids she needs to do so before turns 30, as the chances of complications and her chances of dying are much higher as a result.
What do I do? I love her, plan on marrying this girl. I have a great career and so does she. I want to start a family at some point in my life. I just don't know if having kids this soon is a good idea in a relationship, however, I just don't know if waiting is a good idea if she has a good chance of having serious complications as a result. She's 27, I'm 25. | Girlfriend of 3 months wants to have kids, we're in love, she has a good chance of having serious complications in the near future |
t3_1pgbed | relationships | My girlfriend [19/f] and I [19/m] of 5 months are constantly arguing about petty things... and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. | To me, I feel as if we have terrible communication. When we argue, I tell her my point of view, but she doesn't seem to be able to accept it. She always spins it as "You say that, but that's not what your intentions were" or something similar. It often ends up with the both of us refusing to admit either of us were in the wrong because we both think the other was the one that caused the fight. Usually I would concede.
For example, I told her that I sometimes felt the pressure to live up to her ex, and she got angry at me for making her feel guilty, which was not my intention. I just wanted to let her know that I felt that way, but she refused to believe that I didn't tell her to guilt trip her. Today we did something that her and her ex did when they were together, and I asked her if she had fun and she said it was okay. I told her that made me feel pretty shitty and all she said was that she's just telling me the truth. She didn't try to reassure me or anything, and although I know she had no responsibility to, it still made me feel pretty shitty.
We would also often fight about the other person seeming to "not want to hang out". We would constantly tell each other "you can sleep over if you want to" and then the other person would be like "yeah, if you want me to" and then eventually a fight would come out of it because "it didn't seem like you really wanted to"
I have no idea how to stop these petty fights, or maybe if its just cause we're not compatible with each other. What do I do to stop bickering with her? | Girlfriend and I fight a lot about petty things, and can't seem to communicate well during our fights. How do we work on this? |
t3_3914gf | relationships | My sister [22F] is dating [a 47M] Just found out, How should I respond? | I just found out that my younger sister is dating someone 25 years older than she is. I will always love my sister and I am unsure how to respond to this situation. My parents are very upset about it and have told her that the situation is not appropriate and he is not welcome. I want what is best for my sister but I am not sure this is it. They met at work and I do not know much about him. My sister has been becoming more disrespectful of other family members over the past couple years which is actually the larger issue for me. | I love my 22 year old sister but I am not sure the relationship with a 25 year older man is what is best for her. How should I respond? |
t3_2fn9ep | self | I have no idea how to be single. At all. | I have pretty much been in a relationship non-stop since i was 17 (now 28M) and now i am getting a divorce from the woman I have been with for 9 years.
So now I am faced with the prospect of entering the dating world, having never dated as an adult before. I went our for drinks with my only single friend last night, and the gaping chasm I felt between me and everyone else at the bars was intense. I wasn't trying to meet girls, I was just hanging out and catching up with a friend, but looking around at all the people in the bars, I felt like an alien, like i have nothing in common with this demographic.
I don't think I'm ready to start dating yet, for one I'm still married and probably will be for months as my messy divorce slowly lumbers on. For two i think i need to learn how to be a complete single person.
I don't where I'm going with this. | I am single for the first time in my adult life, I don't know when I should start trying to date, the idea of dating is terrifying. |
t3_443z3y | relationships | Me [27 M] with my gf [25 F] of 1.5 years, has started to frequently masterbate in bed after sex | Throwaway obviously, but I've been with my gf for a little over a year and a half. Our sex life has been excellent, at least I think so. We have a TON of sex usually more 8-16 times a week.
I don't think I'm pleasing her the same way I used too though. She doesn't get off when I go downtown and in the past month or so I've noticed her masterbating when we're all done having sex and getting ready to sleep at night. She waits like half an hour after we say goodnight and then starts. I'm super scared that I'm not getting the job done for her. My weight has fluctuated up and down about 10 lbs since we started dating, it's not like I got fat or less attractive physically. She still says she loves making love to me but it's hard to believe when she doesn't have as many orgasms and masterbates next to me. The first time I noticed, it was super obvious after the worst sex we've ever had, I got nervous and just left the room. We talked about it in the morning and she denied it and said it shouldn't be a big deal even if she was since I hold my privates in the morning sometimes (not masterbate though).
Has anyone ever been in this situation as her? Tonight we had sex twice, and less than half an hour later she was doing it right next to me. I went to the bathroom, then got dressed came home and made this post. So any advice from someone with more sexual relationships experience would be super comforting. | gf jerks it next to me after we have lots of sex, should I be worried I'm not satisfying her |
t3_3jjmfv | relationships | My [17F] mother [40sF] doesn't let me close my door. How can I tell her I value my privacy? | I'll start this off by saying the reason she *used* to have for keeping my door open was that I couldn't hear her when she called me. But the actual reason I couldn't hear her was because I was listening to loud music. I have since stopped listening to music during the hours she's likely to call me (i.e. dinner time, when she first comes home) and if I do, I'll let her know in advance and keep the volume to a minimum. She no longer has a reason to keep my door open because of this, but she manages to come up with stuff like "if we get broken into, you wouldn't even know", which I think is extremely farfetched.
However, she still doesn't let me close my door. She'll even make an effort to yell at me if she comes upstairs and sees it closed. Personally, I really value the privacy and solitude that my bedroom gives me, and it's the only place I can get it (and I doubt any of my family members want to see me changing or jamming out to a song that's been on repeat all day). Additionally, I can be a complete slob and my room can get really disgusting and I don't need anyone, especially my mom, seeing it before I get around to cleaning it up. And anyway, the idea of anyone being able to look into my room at anytime is unsettling to me. The issue has gotten so bad that my mom will instantly know when my door closes (there's a quiet, but audible *"click"*) and I've gotten into the habit of closing it in a way she won't hear.
Is there any way I can give my mom my perspective of the issue without "speaking with that tone"? Boundaries aren't really a thing in my family. Anyone could just walk in to my room at anytime without knocking, or go into my room when I'm not home and take/use my stuff. I've been trying to respect other people's privacy by initiating knocking and such but it seems to be going unnoticed. | Mom doesn't let me close my bedroom door, even after I came up with a solution to being unable to hear her. How can I tell her I want privacy? |
t3_19r0wd | relationships | Need help trusting and regaining confidence | Hi reddit, I'll try to keep this short.
My last bf cheated on me [f23] with multiple other people, multiple times. I sortof knew it was coming but I let it happen anyway. It was still shocking and it hurt a lot more than I care to admit. I'm confused as to why I let myself be treated that way. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself.
In a new relationship now, we've been together almost three years now and I'm still having issues. My current bf has never done Anything to cause trust issues. He has always been perfect and understanding of everything. But I'm still having a very hard time trusting him. Not so much that I think he'll do something wrong but I'm terrified of the unknown. I always want to be in control of situations; want to know where he's going, who he's with, what he's doing, who he's talking to, etc. I have even been finding myself feeling insecure about him watching porn (which has never been an issue for me). I know my confidence is shot. I really need help on how to get it back. I'm terrified that my emotions are going to get the better of me one day and I'll start accusing him of things he hasn't done or things that aren't even wrong (i.e. being friends with other girls). He doesn't deserve that.
How can I learn to trust again? How can I regain confidence and respect for myself so I don't ruin my relationship? | Got cheated on, having a hard time trusting current bf and with self confidence. Need help so I don't ruin my relationship |
t3_45kmnw | relationships | How to proceed this "friendship" [M22, F21] ? | I [F21] know this friend of mine [M22] for almost 8 years and we have always had a kind of connection. In the first years we used talk about everything. In the last year of highschool things changed.
Long story short, he broke up with his gf and I was there for him. Then I got feeling for him, we kissed and I told him. He didnt have the same feelings for me.
I was left heartbroken. Then a couple of weeks later he had a new gf and completely forgot about me or our friendship for two years.
Then he broke up with his gf and a day later he contacted me. He missed how we use to talk and stuff and he needed me. I forgave him and we started to talk again.
Lately we have been talking quite flirty and I ended up sleeping with him. Since that day I havent heard from him. I know he is afraid that I have feelings for him again and that I want more but thats not the case for me... I just got a load of questions.
When we started talking after his breakup, the conversations were different . There is this kind of tension for me that I dont dare to as anything I woud like to ask.
What should I do? Give up on him as a friend? I want things to be the same as it used to be but im afraid it will never be like that again... I really like him and mate have some feelings but I know that it woud never work for us so I dont want that... im so confused with myself.. | ended up sleeping with a friend, now he ignoreres me. Used to have feeling not anymore, dont know what to do? |
t3_j0uyv | Dogtraining | Urgent - Need help with my boerboel jumping at the doorbell. | My dog (2~ years old) has been attacking my front door every time a doorbell rings. I live with my parents and I have tried everything to get this dog to stop attacking other than getting a remote shock collar. She has been leaving scratches on the doors and windows (when she sees squirrels/birds outside) and I have been trying to break her of this habit. Now, however, it has gotten to the point where my father is threatening to take the dog to the pound. I don't want that, I love my dog. I need a way to break her of this habit, if it is a remote shock collar then so be it. I just need some advice.
My mother also let's the dog out every time she scratches a window, which just encourages the behavior. The dog isn't the friendliest with strangers and I would like to make her less protective if possible, but if not I can live with it.
Thank you reddit, I need your help. | = my dog is jumping at the door when the doorbell rings and being overprotective around strangers. How do I stop this from occurring? |
t3_lpz66 | AskReddit | Fundraising Ideas | Hi Reddit, I am looking for ideas on how to raise money to help a family friend. We need to raise nearly $35,000 to keep them from getting kicked out of their house. A little background:
The family's youngest daughter (12 y/o) has come down with a form of muscular dystrophy that has caused her to go from completely normal to wheelchair bound and unable to even lift her arms in 6 months. Because of the medical costs and the mom having to quit her job to take care of her daughter, they are about to lose their house. Dad is working 18 hours a day at 2 different jobs just to try and keep them afloat.
So far we have put on a raffle, fundraising dinner at a local pub, and a silent auction using goods donated by the community. While they are certainly a nice gesture, they are not pulling in the type of money we need to raise. What are some ideas for raising funds that can bring in some serious money to help these people out? | trying to raise some serious $$ for a family that needs some help, and I need new ideas for ways to raise the funds. |
t3_s37xw | AskReddit | My college forbids the posting or transmission of confidential information? | At my college they have copies of the computer usage policy posted throughout the computer labs, and today when the server was being wonky, I decided to take the time to actually read it. I couldn't believe the number one item on the list of prohibited activities is the "Posting or transmission of confidential information". This left me feeling kind of sick in my stomach, and I just wanted to know if this feeling is justifiable. Why does a college, a place where ideas are created and shared, have a policy forbidding the spread of confidential information? Maybe I'm thinking too much into it, but if I were to find some bit of information that should be told, regardless of whether it was against the school or the government, how can the college forbid me from telling the truth, solely because it's confidential?
I understand the college's need to ensure that students do not plagiarize, use copyrighted work illegally, or visit sexually explicit/obscene websites, but should confidential information fall into the same category and be subsequently banned? I just don't think this is right. One thing I took into consideration was maybe this was added to the policy because of cheating, but couldn't that fall under plagiarizing, or another academic sanction? It's the use of the word "confidential" that makes me suspicious. What do you guys think? Should I do something about this or just let it go? | My college's computer usage policy prohibits the posting of or transmission of confidential information and that makes me feel uneasy. I'd like others opinions on whether I should act on this or not. |
t3_x2cyj | AskReddit | Boyfriend doesn't have a job, a license, or an education. Every attempt at motivation fails. AskReddit, how do I reach these kids? | He's 19 and is always complaining about not having a job or a license or an education. He's had every opportunity. He's sent out two job applications in the last month and is ready to give up because he hasn't found a job yet. He failed his driving test twice, and he feels as though he would have had his license a long time ago if it weren't for his parents. It totally is their fault, but his attitude about is shit. He goes to community college and pulls down shitty grades and only takes a partial course load while me and his best friend go to a real university twenty miles away. I tried to get him to apply during his senior year, but he said he wasn't ready. He goes to community college and gets shitty grades and whines for a whole year that he isn't at a better school, when I told him it was better to apply and not get in than not apply at all. HE TOTALLY COULDVE GOTTEN IN! Well he got rejected this spring anyways, and I'm about to graduate after this year, so there goes his dream of going to school with us. I'm not being a bitch, I seriously want to help him, but every time he brings it up I try to motivate him and talk about goal setting and all that shit, but then it devolves into petty relationship bullshit where I'm basically saying "if you had listened to me, you wouldn't be in this mess." The best part is he spent all of high school talking about how he didn't want to be like his loser brothers, 22 and 25 with hourly jobs, living at home, no girlfriends, watching Disney Channel all day. I didn't want him to be like that either. Steps taken to avoid this fate? Zero. Reddit, what would you do? | Reddit, how do you motivate someone who seems completely unmotivatable? Like seriously resistant to help, advice, and change. |
t3_21lehf | relationships | My [23 F] broke up with me [24M] of 3 months -Because she is confused | Okay, so my ex GF of 3 months, has broken it off a few days ago. We have had an amazing few months and I'm not sure what to do now. She broke up with me because when we got together she was 4 months out of a three year relationship and not over her EX.
Now I'm not one to stick around in these sort of situations but this girl is different. She has told me she cares about me and wants to be with me but she needs to get her head cleared before we can be together. So she's has for some time to think - but is it worth me waiting or do you think she won't want this? | GF broke up with me because she's emotionally confused and wants some space. Do I wait for her or cut my losses? |
t3_1q7wsr | relationships | [23/f] with my [23/M] of 8 months, not together because of his emotional issues affecting how he feels about us. | To keep it brief, he decided we can't be together while he is figuring himself out. He's got emotional, traumatic issues that he's never been able to deal with because he's always being strong for everyone else in his life. Its affecting how he feels about us and doesn't want his demons making "us" another thing he feels bad about.
I get it. This is about him being strong for himself and doing what he needs to do. He has been explicit saying that I have done nothing wrong/not my fault. He loves me. This all came about practically out of no where. He's talked about not being okay, but the break up is completely out of the blue.
If everything he's said is true, he loves me. And I'm sure he does. We don't believe in "taking a break." And he wants me to live my life and have this be indefinite. it makes sense. he doesnt want the weight of me waiting for him weighing on him.
How do I deal with my own pain while being strong? Ive never been dumped before. Am I wrong to think that this is temporary? I need advice. | Broken up because hes dealing with his demons, which are affecting how he feels about being together and doesnt want to feel bad about us. We still love each other. How do I get through this? |
t3_17zfgv | AskReddit | My mom's friend just sent $8,000 dollars via Western Union to a scammer in Cambodia. Is there anything she can do? | My mom's friend has been going on about this guy she met online who apparently is an engineer working out of Cambodia. After a couple months of talking, he said he was stuck in Cambodia and needed money to come visit her. So, what does she do? SHE WIRES HIM $8,000 DOLLARS AND SENDS HIM HER BANK ACCOUNT AND ROUTING NUMBER. We tried telling her it was a scam from the getgo, but she didn't believe as she's an older lonely naive woman whose husband just passed. What can I do to get her money back? Or to bring justice down on these jerks.. | Lonely old lady friend of my mom got scammed for $8,000 and her bank info. WHAT CAN SHE DO? |
t3_1m8gen | relationships | I [26F] need to stop being bothered by my boyfriends [31M] (positive!) past | I have been seeing my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and we are very serious together. He is a great person and everything I want in a partner, so really nothing that I have issue with is actually his fault, but I can't stop being bothered about his past and comparing myself to his exes.
Before he was with me, he was engaged to another girl, and they went through a long romance. As in the sort of romance you hear about in the books, right down to proposing on top of the Eiffel Tower. Of course, they aren't together anymore, and the relationship went horrible so here we are today, but I am having a really hard time getting over that part of him.
In a way I think it is because I have never had that sort of past. Though I have had long relationships they have not been that good, and I was already battling with the fact that he's been engaged before and so it wouldn't be as special if we were to ever get engaged. Now knowing how he did it it's made it even worse because how could anything we do ever compare with that? It's like my mind doesn't mind about the fact that it went bad, even though it was negative for years, it just hears the rest of it and makes me feel bad. It was never his intention to make me feel bad and he tried his hardest to make me see that it didn't matter, but it's playing on my mind quite a lot and I can't stop thinking about it to the extent that it's affecting my thoughts towards our relationship.
I feel pathetic even complaining about this, but how can I get around thinking about this in this way?! | Boyfriend has had a long backstory with another girl - how to stop feeling threatened by this and stop feeling like it's impossible for our current relationship to ever be better than he's already had? |
t3_4h8fo9 | legaladvice | (CA/FL) is a restraining order worth trying for in this situation? | I'm in CA, offending guy is in FL.
I have a guy who has been basically stalking me online for three years straight. He is constantly making fake Twitter and Facebook accounts impersonating me. He makes his username as close to mine as possible (ex using a capital i to look like a lower case L) and uses my full name and photos In his fake Facebook accounts.
He adds/messages friends and family, trying to talk to them about my "phat ass." He sends them hentai, porn gifs, and suggestive messages. He also sends pictures of girls saying things like "my ass was so fat in middle school I couldn't wear underwear with my jeans" -- all while using my name and picture, trying to pass off as me. He's basically got a huge sexual obsession with my ass.
He also makes fake accounts of other people and constantly messages ME from them, with comments about my ass. He makes a new account every 1-2 weeks. It's very obviously always him because he reuses the same 8-10 pictures/gifs over and over, for the last 3 years. Some of the gifs are of pretty violent porn, with him saying it's what he wants to do to me, or of him pretending to be me saying to he wants someone else to do that to "me"
I've been keeping screencaps, and have proof it's been the same person for 3 years (mostly by his IP.) I know his full name and address, but he lives in Florida. I tried going to talk to my local police for advice, but they told me to contact his Local police station.. But unfortunately he lives in a major city and their police don't have time.
SO I really am trying to find out what I can do about this from CA. Is a no contact restraining order possible in this kind of situation, when all I have are screencaps? Is there another option? This has been going on basically bi-weekly for 3 years, and I have built a business off of my social media and can't afford to simply delete it all and not come back, so that's not really an option either. | guy on other side of US has been sending me porn and pretending to be me to send other people porn for 3 years straight, what can I do? |
t3_3hqykz | relationships | Me [27 F] with my BF [29 M]. I'm depressed and communicating my depression is just making me him anxious so now I'm pretending to be okay around him. This isn't good. What do? | I feel so stupid even writing all of this. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. Things in our relationship are great! I could not imagine myself with anyone else.
Fast forward to the current issue: I'm depressed. My boyfriend and I like to have open lines of communication and have generally been great at this. I have struggled with depression for quite some time now. It has been on and off throughout my life. Lately it has been hitting harder.
My boyfriend really prides himself on being able to make me feel good. Whenever I am down he gets really involved and concerned. It's great and all, but when he can't fix what's going on it really gets him down. I understand why because I do the same thing.
Since I've been feeling down lately, I've been telling him about how my emotions have my down in the dumps. We are really connected and if I am down, he can't help but be extremely down himself. He mulls over all the different reasons for why I am upset and often will seek to see if there are problems within our relationship.
The thing is, our relationship isn't bringing me down. I keep trying to explain this to him but he doesn't seem to internalize it. I understand that it's difficult to at times to realize that when an SO is so down, but it's gotten to the point where I don't feel comfortable telling him my feelings because he takes it so hard and puts it on himself. I've started to pretend I'm okay when I'm not for his benefit. I am already so down and him getting down makes me feel so awful. I'm not sure if what I'm doing is selfish or not, but I know it's not good for our relationship.
I'm going to seek counseling, I think, because then I can work on my depression and all this will go away.
But until I get better, what do I do? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I don't want to lie to my bf but I am really at a loss. | I'm depressed and my boyfriend internalizes my depression on himself and it makes me more depressed. I don't know what to do except seek counseling. I've started to pretend I'm okay around him to not make him feel bad. |
t3_3fwmbc | tifu | TIFU by accidentally telling a client to go to hell | I am a kitchen designer. I spend much of my day creating plans of kitchens - the company I work for makes super high end stuff, so our clients are usually very rich and even include some celebrities. We are required to label our plans in a way that will make the client familiar with the layout, so arrows pointing through doorways signifying what is in the next room, etc.
Yesterday, I wrote the label "To Hell" instead of "To Hall".
Today when I receive an email from the client subtly pointing out the typo, to which I profusely apologised. Gladly, they saw the funny side, as did my entire office. | Typed 'Hell' instead of 'hall' on a floorplan, essentially telling a client to go to Hell via the medium of AutoCAD. |
t3_35roh6 | relationships | [24M] My fiancée [23F] of 6 years has cumulative finals this week, and her mom just told me she has cancer. | My fiancée (we'll call Jen) is about to graduate from college but she has a few more huge tests this week. Her graduation is on Thursday. She's doesn't like her mom (we'll call Pat) very much, but Pat is about the only family Jen has.
Jen had told Pat that her phone won't answer calls, because Jen couldn't stand Pat calling all the time. Pat is a little crazy, and is almost constantly complaining about something, and Jen couldn't take it anymore. Recently Pat told Jen that she will be bringing a young male escort to Jen's graduation. This, and a whole lifetime of bullshit can probably make you see why Jen doesn't like Pat very much.
Anyway, Pat called me this afternoon, and told me she just found out she has bladder cancer. She doesn't know how serious it is, but cancer is cancer. She said she doesn't want to ruin Jen's graduation, or distract her from her finals. Also, she won't be at Jen's graduation, so now Jen has nobody from her family that will be there. Pat doesn't want me to tell Jen the news.
So now I am stuck between hiding Pat's cancer from Jen until after her finals, or telling her and possibly screwing up Jen's finals. She knows the subject well enough that I think she'll do great no matter what, but still.
I don't know if I can not tell her when she gets off work tonight. Does anyone have any advice on this situation? Anything helps, thanks. | [23F]'s mom has cancer, told me [24M] but not her because of her finals. Do I tell her? |
t3_k14af | AskReddit | What's your crazy story about how you lost your virginity? | I was 17 years old. My best friend was a year younger than I and went to a different school. He had a female friend that was not in the least bit shy. Anywho, I attended a party of of one of my friend's friends, and met her there. We exchanged numbers and planned on meeting up again. Fast forward 3 weeks and the three of us (my friend, Jessica, and I) decide we want to drink at a local lookout point. I very calmly bought beer (rather easy in so-cal), and we proceeded to drink. I had 6 cans, my friend 8, and Jessica, very oddly, had but just one. It became apparent to me that she wanted to have her way with me and I wasn't about to deny her that want. My friend had long since passed out in my car in the front passenger seat. I had the quietest, yet bounciest sex I've had to date with this goddess and enjoyed every minute of it. Best part? My friend woke up 3 times while we got it on and turned around to ask if we were fornicating. "NOOOOO! Don't worry about it man, just go back to sleep!" | Lost my virginity in the backseat of my car with my friend passed out in the front seat. He awoke to violent shaking of car, multiple times. |
t3_2y1b0r | relationships | Me [18M] with my ex girlfriend [19 F], we went NC 1.5 months ago but she texted me today. What am I supposed to do? | So long story short, it wasn't a good relationship. We came from the same group of friends (she was 1 year older) and went to college. I felt that I wanted to enjoy my senior year of high school (be able
To go to dances and whatnot with other people, relationship or not) and she disagreed. We broke up on bad terms. I'm glad I got out of it--a lot of manipulation and guilt and I've felt so much better since we've stopped talking mid January. However, she is still very much so friends with my best friend and she has tried to turn him against me. She texted me today asking if "we wanted to talk". I haven't replied yet (+no read receipts), and my friend told me that she still bitches about me to him all the time. I feel like ignoring her will make her upset, replying will hurt us both, and saying a firm no will also start problems (she's threatened to show up at my house, demanding I give her presents back or she'll tell my mom about things we did, etc).
So how do I treat this? I'm happy now. I've become less isolated from my friends (i now see how she tried to take me away from them and make sure we were the only two who spent time together) and I've just been having more fun. I'm so much less stressed, and I've been eating and sleeping better and just generally enjoying senior year.
So how do I do this? I told my friend that I wouldn't respond and (he's faithful to me and doesn't want to deal with the BS she spews his way) if she asks him he would say that we had talked and thought it wouldn't be the best to talk right now (acting like a middle man). I feel like a dick for not responding, and I didn't wish her happy birthday which I feel bad for but it just seemed like it'd start shit again. | Still very-involved ex texts me 6 weeks into NC and I don't know how to handle it. What to do?? |
t3_44evtw | tifu | TIFU by telling a stranger everything's fine. | This happened yesterday. Yesterday was my grandmother's funeral. My brother and I met my father at my grandfather's house before the mass. We all took my dad's car and left ours there.
Anyway, after the mass, my brother and I were dropped off at our car in front of our grandparents house. At the time it was snowing so we were clearing off our car. All of a sudden a snow plow comes by awfully fast and almost hits us. Then, a sedan that was behind the plow rolled down its window. A women in the drivers seat asked if everything was ok. I was a little shaken, but I told her everything's fine. Then she replied, "oh good I was worried because I saw your suits and I knew she wasn't doing well health wise." And then she drove away...
After several seconds of processing, I'd realized that I fucked up. | After my grandmother's funeral, a women asked if everything was ok. I thought she meant something else and I accidentally told her my grandmother was fine. |
t3_420k9c | relationships | I [24 M] met a Girl [23 F] last week and now I'm afraid she won't go on a second date with me. | I met this cute Girl through mutual friends at a bar last weekend. We really hit it off and I kissed her halfway through the night.
The next day we met again at our friends house. Now I'm kind of an inexperienced guy and as she arrived I got nervous and greeted her with a simple "Hello" (I probably should have kissed her...).
The rest of the day was real fun, but we never got as physically close as the day before.
We've texted the last three days. Usually late at night for 2-3 hours. She usually responded quick (< 5 minutes) and tried to keep the conversation going. Although I've been the one to start with the first text every day.
Yesterday I asked her to hang out/study together (we both have important exams upcoming). She didn't directly say no, but kind of ignored my attempt (She said she wouldn't be able to keep up with me when studying). We continued texting for some time after this.
Is it possible that she thought I wanted to meet up for sex under the disguise of studying?
Today I texted her good morning, but she hasn't texted back yet (~8 hours ago).
Should text her again at our "usual" time, even if she hasn't texted back until then? When should I try to ask her out again (maybe this time to dinner/cinema)?
Also I never was in a long term relationship before. In fact I couldn't get a second date for several times in the last year.
I don't want her to become part of my failed dating attempts.
I'm really insecure because of this and I hope you can help me to calm down. | Met a Girl, want to go on second date with her and now I'm possibly overreacting and driving myself crazy. |
t3_t5tzo | AskReddit | When is the last time you crapped your pants? Why/how did it happen? | I have crapped my pants about 4 times in my 16th year of my life. Two were from upset stomachs, one was a good 'ol shart, but the fourth was the most interesting. So my buddy was over at my house, and we were playing Starcraft 2 on side by side computers. Shit got intense from us being in the same game and calling shit out, so the world outside my screen mattered little. Well I felt the hotpockets or whatever other shit I made for us brewing up a storm in my intestines, so I made a mad dash for the bathroom. It was roughly 30 feet away and I made it in time. I entered the bathroom and I immediately purged the junk food out from my bowels in a mighty explosion. I managed to retain most of it by pulling my shorts against my legs to create a seal, but I still dripped shit on the floor. I waddled over to the toilet and pretty much had the equivalent of an intestinal exorcism occur in me. My butt was so covered in shit I decided it was beyond saving, so I stepped into the guest shower and shamefully cleaned myself. After a 20 minute shower with Hibiclens (hospital strength disinfectant, I used to wrestle so it was required to use it) I made sure to wipe down the shower with it too and grab some fresh clothes. I brought a swiffer down and cleaned up the shit on the floor. Gone for about 45 minutes in all and returned to find my buddy still playing and oblivious to my absence. | Shit my pants during a Stracraft 2 game with a friend, gone for 45 minutes, he didn't notice. |
t3_2vpzep | offmychest | For the first time in forever we're NORMAL and you have the audacity to complain? | I frequently see people on Reddit complain about how inaccurate 50 Shades is: How it dosn't portray BDSM accurately, how it glorifies abuse, etc. And while these complaints are legitimate, I have one question.
My question is: ***ARE YOU ASSHOLES FUCKING KIDDING ME?***
For the last 72 years (Wonder woman was originally bondage-inspired, but god knows that's been expunged) we've had feminist groups, crime dramas, innumerable religious groups telling us that BDSM is for sadistic psychopaths who don't have the balls to actually rape a woman. And now presented as NOT WEIRD. Maybe not normal, but NOT WEIRD.
And now you people are complaining? Because the portrayal isn't "accurate enough"? Are you serious?
Go back to 1970 and tell a sci-fi fan that Dr. Who is being ruined because too many girls like it. Are any of them going to complain? NO. Because all they've ever known is ridicule from both peers and authority figures. Now? There are SEVERAL HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTERS GLORIFYING SCIENCE FICTION!
It's going to be a few more years before BDSM gets a truly accurate portrayal. Until then, you're all going to have to be satisfied with your ***MAJOR MOTION PICTURE BY A MAJOR HOLLYWOOD STUDIO THAT MAKES BDSM LOOK COOL! | For 3/4 of a century, BDSM was rape-lite. Stop complaining that 50 shades isn't Sunstone. |
t3_4xrcfz | relationships | I [18 M] have been messaging this girl I like [18 F] but I have to initiate the conversation every single time. Should I give up? | Like seriously man. It's so annoying. When I do initiate the conversation we always end up talking for a few hours, and often it just goes on until one of us goes to sleep. So it's not as if she seems completely uninterested. There was one point where I messaged her every other day for a couple of weeks, but then I realised that I was the only one actually initiating it at all. The only time she ever, ever initiated anything was her messaging me to say happy birthday, but that wasn't even a full blown conversation. I started thinking to myself that maybe I'm annoying her and she's just replying out of politeness, or that she's not interested. I decided I wouldn't message her first this time, and I thought if she's interested in wanting to talk to me she'd hit me up after a few days. It's been just over a week now and nothing, apart from liking one of my Instagram pictures. I really want to message her and talk to her again, but part of me thinks if she doesn't even value talking to me enough to start the conversation just one time, then why should I try so hard? I just feel like I'm being desperate and clingy. I know people always say guys should be the one to make the move and whatever else, and I know she is a shy person, but come on. Even one message from her would show me she likes talking to me and that I'm not wasting my time, but nothing. I don't know whether to give up and assume she's uninterested or keep trying and potentially waste my time and hers. It's so annoying not knowing where I stand man. Part of me wants to quit, but I really, really like her, she's a great girl, I just wish I had a better grasp on what she thinks about it all. | Messaging the girl I like quite a lot, but I start the conversation every single time. When we do talk it goes on for hours though. Is she interested at all, or am I wasting my time? |
t3_1p1wdp | relationship_advice | What's acceptable for opposite gender friends? (30f) | I used to have a lot of guy friends, more than females, while I was younger/single. But that has changed over the years and while I'm now in a committed relationship, i really don't talk to guys anymore. In the workplace, sure but not as outside friends really. None that aren't "our" friends. My SO says he wouldn't care even if I did have guy friends I talked to regularly.
So he has a female friend. i've met her and like her. We get along and have a few things in common.
She got divorced a while back and says she is in this "having a good time" phase. She doesn't want to get tied down. Understandable.
So I noticed they text and send messages on facebook more often than they did while she was married. (He was friends with both of them but I have to be honest, her ex is kinda crazy). He's shown me some of the messages, it appears there isn't ever "sexy talk" or anything. There sometimes is joking or cutsies though. But maybe i'm just thinking they are because it's stuff like, "hey there sir" or "hi chick" which I find cute.
While I don't know that it's justified, i've expressed uneasiness and asked both of them straight out if there were feelings. Both said no.
So here I am asking you, Reddit. Is this normal? Is it normal to have friends of the opposite sex while with an SO? Does this acutally sound odd or am i just being paranoid? If so, how do I stop it? | SO has a female friend and they talk a few times a week. I'm uneasy but I'm not sure i have any reason to be? Both say there's nothing there when I asked. |
t3_2jtk9s | relationships | Me [19 F] has an ex-boyfriend [19 M] of 9 months who is making our past relationship public in our workplace. | As a freshman in college I had a job with co-workers who I will be with until graduation and became very close with another student in my workplace towards the end of first semester. It is looked down upon to date other people in in my workplace because it tends to cause a lack of professionalism. Roger and I thought we would be okay to date because we both had good reputations and respect at work. Nevertheless we keep our relationship extremely secret to the point where I did not tell any of even my closest friends.
As we began this secret dating endeavor I began to realize that Roger was extremely insecure about everything and anything. He was also very jealous and had to tendency to be manipulating. We always hung out, I lost some very good friends because of his and my relationship. Over the summer we broke up and I believed him to be an adult enough to keep things professional when we got back to school. It was a clean break-up and he even sent me a few "how you doing" texts over the summer.
When we got back to school he was put in a place of minor authority and began to verbally attack some of my close friends at work, but still never approached me. He started to tell people we dated, in a way where he proclaimed our relationship his mistake and painted me a whore. I have been ignoring him because I did not want to give him any reaction, but I believe it has gone to far.
He continues to ruin my reputation at work, and is not letting the situation drop. I think it is time for me to confront him about it. I have intentionally been avoiding him all year because of how rude he was to my friends at the beginning of the school year after our break up.
I do not know how to approach the situation effectively with out making it worse, nor do I want to back myself in a corner where he can continue to manipulate me. | Manipulating Co-worker who I used to date is ruining my reputation in my workplace and I need to confront him about it, but do not know how. |
t3_36op8t | relationships | Me [19M] and my [18F] girlfriend of 2 months, Have to break up because of her Parents | So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 months, but We've been really good friends for 1.5 years. I've had a crush on her since we met. We are both in college, but its a community college so we both live at our respective homes with our parents Things have been going great, she is amazing and super chill, and we were both each others first time. I feel that I could really honestly spent the rest of my life with.
Then yesterday she told me that her mom is basically making her work every second of the summer and next semester. My girlfriend already has 2 jobs and this would make 3. She says that she would never have time for any friends or family. so, she feels that she can't put me through that, but I really like her and I want to be with her during this. she would be working over 80+ hours a week and I feel this is ridiculous and that while she could handle it I feel she could develop many stress related issues.
She says she cannot move out because if she does then she would be disowned by her family.She loves her brother and sister and doesn't want them to never speak to her again. Her sister is older and would probably talk to her, but her brother is much younger and could be brain-washed by their parents.
I really want to be there for her, but she keeps pushing me away. I've thought about going and talking to her mom, but I feel that could only make things worse. We both really like each other, but we don't seem to have any good options. What can I do? | Gf's mom is forcing her to work way too many hours and my gf thinks that we should break up. I don't want to and want to tough it out with her. |
t3_2qi3zl | relationships | Me [20 M] with my long-distance girlfriend [20 F] of one week, things are going fantastic so far, but I would appreciate tips, suggestions, or strategies that would help strengthen our relationship over time. | I met MJ on a flight to Cabo San Lucas about a week ago, we hit it off right away, she added me on Facebook and we have been talking ever since. We decided to be in a long distance relationship a few days ago after a long honest and open conversation.
I know that the most important aspect of a strong long-distance relationship is good communication and so far that is pretty good with messaging, and should work with Skype and texting upon my return to Canada. We have worked out a general schedule of what times we will be available to talk to one another, and what times we will spend to focus on our school, friends, and family.
She lives in Victoria BC and I live in Edmonton Alberta, so the distance is fairly far, but during the university break in February I will be flying out to see her and my brother who is also going to school in Victoria.
What can I do aside from what I have already done help strengthen our relationship, what can we do as a couple, and what can MJ do because she is quite enthusiastic about this as well? | Met amazing girl on flight, now in long distance relationship with her, want to take the necessary steps so that we can succeed and find happiness as a couple, would appreciate advice. |
t3_3at6mo | relationships | Me (18M) and my girlfriend (17F) of 2 months, relationship now feeling a bit one-sided | Hey reddit, thanks for checking this thread out.
So to keep this short, we've been going out and have been through a few things that hurt both parties but all seems to be back to normal.
I wasn't too sure about my feelings for her but sort of reconciled, and [last Saturday] then she asked me to come over to her house where bed stuff happened, both were virgins. And this is where I started to feel like nothing but a tool to be used and that's it.
And this was the part where I feel that I've been nothing more than just a person to her, I just don't know how to react to this. I don't feel special, recent convos (Couple days) have been one-sided to a degree. I plan on talking to her after exams are done (Tomorrow, so I'll give an update then)
So is this normal? How I am reacting and how I am feeling? I don't really know what to ask but just leave a comment about anything and that alone will be much appreciated.
Thanks Again | Been in a relationship, feel like recently that I am just being used and the relationship is now somewhat one-sided. |
t3_1lgtsc | relationships | My ex-girlfriend (24F) sold me(21F) marijuana, and the bag somehow contained a ring.. | We had been dating for about 5-6 months when I decided I wanted to break up. I was generally unhappy with the relationship and felt that we were not on the same page about a lot of things. This was only less than two weeks ago. She was in disagreement about my decision to end things and thought that I was making a mistake. I however have been pretty happy with my decision.
Though we broke up, we also work together so maintaining a civil relationship is pretty important, and since hasn't been an issue. We are fine at work, occasionally hang out as friends, and also go out with our mutual friends without it being weird.
Anyways, last night after work, a few coworkers decided to go out for a few drinks. I asked Kay if she could bring some weed for me to buy. At the end of the night she gave me a bag and I rode my bike home. When I got to the house and wanted to smoke, I reached into the bag and pulled out a [Claddagh Ring] | Broke up with girlfriend a few weeks ago but have remained friendly. I bought weed from her last night and when I went home to smoke, I noticed she had 'left' a ring in the bag of weed. |
t3_tqpt4 | AskReddit | When should you/did you move out of your parents' house? | I'm 23 years old and employed. I make a decent salary and I plan to move out this summer. That being said, my enthusiasm to finally be out on my own has met a lot of resistance from co-workers and friends.
I have people telling me that you should live at home as long as possible and save up as much as you can. My manager at work told me that it's dumb to move out when you could live with your parents and "...save up to 50k over the next two years and pay off your car, buy a house, etc." (he stayed at home until he was 26).
I'd say about 10% of people I know around my age are glad they moved out and the other 90% say they wish they could be back home. I have money saved up and have a good grasp on my financial situation and outlook so I don't feel like it's a bad decision, but I don't want to dismiss the "wisdom" from those who've actually experienced it. What is your opinion? | If you could afford to live on your own at 22, would you live with your parents until you are 24 - 26 to save up and then move out? |
t3_3ewl1u | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of almost six years, are possibly going to break up. I feel too old to start over. | Like the title said, my boyfriend and I are in the midst of a possible break up because of various differences. We love each other deeply, but I think we've turned into different people over the years. He told me that he's not sure if he wants to get married and have children. He said he realized he wants to be able to "relax" after he's done with grad school and not take on another life-long commitment. This was quite the shock to me b/c we've always talked about getting married and having kids one day. Well, the time has come to start acting on those thoughts and he's starting to back out. I want more than anything to work everything out with him, but I feel like I can't be dragged along because I'm in my mid-twenties.
I feel too old to start over again with someone new. I know I'm only 26, but I've felt SO much pressure to get married and start a family that I feel like time is running out. My family is pretty tradition, my parents got married at 22. I'm just feeling really overwhelmed by what is happening. | Long-term boyfriend and I might break up. I just feel so old to be starting over. Any advice? Am I just being stupid? |
t3_2kr62g | relationships | Im[16M] with my girlfriend [16F] for around a month now, I need to understand what exactly taking a break means and how to handle her ex | Tonight after I fell asleep on my girlfriend I wake up to her being depressed and finally me convincing her to tell me why. She goes on to say that she cant handle a relationship with me due to her having to also take care of child and please me at the same time.
I never thought it was an issue before I told her I would help when it comes to the baby and what not but anyway she suggested we take a break for a week and I am confused by this especially because we were supposed to be together on halloween visiting her ex whos her BFF. I am extremely suspicious of this ex due to them having a sexual relationship in the past but what can I do? Please help | What is taking a break exactly this day and age and how should I deal with an ex who's her best friend and past sexual partner. |
t3_l38nj | AskReddit | Reddit: What books should I read/What should I do to prepare myself for running a small business? | Hey reddit! I'm 21 and currently attending my last year of college majoring in finance. So heres the deal. I have been working at a butcher shop for the past 6 years. I love the job and the people I work with it really is my passion i love going into work. I have 2 bosses one is 69 and the other is 61. There are 4 employees that work there including myself. We specialize in beef, pork, lamb, veal, deli meats, pastas, cooked foods, fresh breads, and we also have a few restaurants we deliver meat to 3 times a week. One of my bosses is retiring (he is like a grandfather to me hes that close) and he wants me to buy him out. I decided I was going to finish school first and he was cool with that. So within the next year or two I will be a half owner of this business. It has been around for 31 years, already has a good customer base, and is in a great location in a wealthy neighborhood. I am really excited about this because this is something I love to do but I am also really nervous. I bought a bunch of books that I am currently reading (Good to Great, Networking like a pro, The new rules of marketing and pr, Think and grow rich, The 1% windfall, Drive, Getting more) | I am going to own a butcher shop in the next 1-2 years, specializes in meats, deli, and cooked food. |
t3_3rx9ap | relationships | Me (21F) with new boyfriend (24M)--His friends (20s M) "tested" me and I passed, is this as weird as I think it is? | Hi r/relationships, need some outside perspective here on a small but weird problem.
I've been dating this guy "Sam" for about three months now, just recently made it official and I met his friends on Thursday. Sam's awesome, and his friends seem awesome too...or so I thought.
We were all hanging out playing games, watching Netflix, etc on Thursday after having come back from the local bar. It was a good time and we were all having fun. Then Sam left the room, and his friends almost immediately started talking shit about him. They were ragging on his appearance, calling him a loser, etc, and it made me very uncomfortable. They tried to get me to join in, and I kept brushing them off. They persisted so I finally told them to knock it off and informed them that I would be telling Sam all of this. They got quiet and then Sam came back, and they tried to go back to just hanging out. I was so pissed off that I said I was going to bed and went to Sam's room.
Sam came in about half an hour later and asked me if everything was okay. I told him that his friends were talking shit about him and it pissed me off. I said that I know I had no right to tell him who to be friends with, but I think he should ditch them. And then he did something that totally threw me off. He grinned. I asked him what he was smiling about, and that's when he told me the following:
Apparently, they do this with every girl Sam meets to test her and see if she'll talk shit about him behind his back. If she does, He dumps her. If not, hooray. Sam's in on it, and says it's pretty harmless. He says I'm the first girl to have told him about what happened, which means I'm the best...?
I am inclined to agree that it's harmless, but I find it weird. Am I right in thinking that this is strange? Is this something normal? Do all guys do this? Just need some perspective, thanks. | New bf's friends "tested" me by trying to get me to talk shit behind his back. Am I wrong in thinking it's weird? |
t3_27d0uy | relationships | Me [20/F] with my boyfriend [25 /M] 5 months are pretty happy but my past seems to worry him. | so long story short when we started seeing each other he told me that he didn't want to know my sexual past since I had hinted that id have more than iv wanted. (didn't love myself and so let guys use me)
but now he brings up things he doesn't want to know but they always escalate as if he wants me to say no I haven't gone that far. let me explain. when we talk about being open to each other he use to say I don't want to know how many guys you've been with so don't tell me that. then it was I don't want to know if you've have a 3 some with two guys and this week was you don't have to tell me if you had an orgy or something like that.
I always say I understand what he means and I never deny anything even if iv never done it because im so ashamed of what I did and if I start telling him id have to give the whole truth. so what do you guys think? is he trying to figure out how far iv gone? and should I just come out with it or I wait till he asks? | my bf tells me he doesn't want to know my sexual past but his ''guessing'' keeps getting worse. |
t3_29gc4g | Advice | Is it possible to leave facebook? | I'm not social person and in fact it's probably been one of my biggest vices in life. Anyway, through all trials and tribulation, I have finished college and will hopefully find employment soon. I've recently been posting on reddit and while I'm not connected with anyone here, I've found that the amount of time I've spent on facebook has dropped drastically. I mostly had facebook to keep up with classmates and some professors, but now that I'm done with that part of my life, is it time to leave facebook? I'm 2,000 miles away from the closest "friend" and it's unlikely I'll cross paths with them again. None of my immediate family has facebook(parents too old, siblings do, one even multiple accounts, but I don't really talk to either one) and outside of a handful of people, I don't keep up with any of them, nor am I greatly interested in keeping up with them. I email or text most people I talk to regularly. I don't get much interactions with my friends on facebook because my post are either way too in-depth, or it's too liberal for them(moved out of Oklahoma, Land of Republicans and Bible Thumpers). Between the NSA, Facebook selling the data to advertisers, and now Facebook's "Secret Experiments" I'm starting to think it's a good jumping off point in my life.
Two questions;
1) Will it cast a negative light on my future social life without having social networking? I don't know anyone who doesn't facebook.
2) Lets say that I do decide to leave facebook, is there a way I can make the account non-active and have it direct them to either my website or give them an email address to contact me? Similar to how accounts can be "memorialized" | Do you know anyone who doesn't have facebook under the age of 30? If you knew someone didn't have a facebook, would it make them creepy or less trust-worthy? |
t3_hdrja | AskReddit | How do I deal with an opiate addict? | I have a friend who has struggled with addiction since he was in middle school. In rehab, at the age of 14, he was introduced to psychedelics, changing his outlook on human thought, drug use, and his place in the world. He went years without touching opiates or stimulants, instead "traversing the eternal abyss" with both popular and underground chemicals, everything from marijuana, acid, mushrooms and mdma to designer chemicals and shamanic substances, including 2c-i and dmt. We are now college roommates, and since freshman year he has had the occasional week-long binge with his favorite drugs; oxycontin, heroin, the like. He goes for long stretches without touching the stuff, self medicating with strange powders he finds on the internet: kava extracts and daily doses of kratom. This weekend, completely unbeknownst to myself and my friends who are mild drinkers and occasional pot smokers, my friend ordered a massive dose of oxycontin from a website and took all of it over the course of three days, blowing through hundreds of dollars. he confessed, embarrassed yet without remorse, promising he would never lie to us again.
This morning, I believe I walked into his room to find him ordering more. I am at a loss for actions and words, and I don't know where to find information on how to help him deal with his problems.
Reddit: have you ever had to deal with opiate addicts? How do I stop my friend from hurting himself? | my best friend went on an opiate binge after a year and a half of legal sobriety while taking high doses of kratom, and I don't know how to help him. |
t3_1mqj5i | Advice | [Business] No idea what to prioritize | I'm a recent university graduate currently employed in a software development role. I like most of the people I work with however the actual work is not at all like I thought it'd be - I imagined, and was led to believe, I would be writing code. Instead it seems I'm stuck in a more testing-centric role, wasting my time not actually coding and doing monotonous setup work instead. I've been having other work-related issues as well and just really want to quit my job and find someplace I'd be happier and feel like I actually have somewhat of a purpose.
My desired industry is game development. I live on the east coast near a major city however it seems most game companies are just independent groups not really hiring. I have no real problems doing other code work though since I love programming in general. Just not mindless database-y work, or web work. My skill set is more lower-level so I would not really even be qualified for web jobs.
Anyway, In my spare time, I've become exceptionally frustrated because I have a lot of different things I want to do. However I spend so much time fretting that I just wind up not really doing much of anything and just poke at the various tasks I want to focus on.
So, the advice I'm seeking is... what should I be doing with my time? I want to look for more jobs on sites like LinkedIn, Monster, Indeed, etc. I also have programming interview books I could go through first to get practice before I start sending resumes out in every direction. I could also be spending my time making an independent game and see if that takes off while working full time. It would also be a good portfolio work which is also important to employers. There's also a giant backlog of programming books I want to go through to increase my knowledge. At the very least I know not to quit until I have something lined up first. | Currently employed programmer. Interested in Game Development, but happy programming in general. Want to change jobs. No idea what to focus my time on. |
t3_17fa7t | relationships | I [M26] need advice on how break up with my girlfriend [F24] of 6 years. | I'm M26, she's F24. We've been dating for 6 years, living together in an apartment for 2 of those years.
I am self employed and work from home. She recently got promoted to a "district manager" position and now works from home as well. For the last 3 months we see each other 10-14 waking hours a day. I'd consider myself an introvert and value my solitude, so this new living situation has made my life miserable.
Last week she left for a 3 day work conference, and those were the happiest days I'd had in a while. On the day she due home I was depressed and not looking forward to seeing her at all. This was the first instance I started considering a breakup.
Yesterday we got into a fight, and I expressed my feelings - that we're spending way too much time together, that I've been developing negative feelings toward her because of it. Her 'solution' was that we buy a house for more workspace. This is something we considered doing in a couple years when I our finances were sound. In my current state of mind, I view it as a $250-300k gamble. Every instinct is telling me it's not a good idea to enter into such a commitment with a mind full of doubt.
To her that is the ONLY course of action. When I asked if she would entertain other ideas, she became hostile. Our fight ended unresolved.
The way she disregarded my feelings and only suggested something that advanced her own agenda/interests made me realize that we're no longer in sync, and that a breakup is the only option I'm left with to get the space I desire.
This is my first serious relationship. I'd only ever had flings in the past, never actually had to break up with someone. I have no idea how to do it. I still care for her and want her to be happy. I want us breaking up to be as amicable as possible. Any advice is welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for your time. | I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 years, and now want to break up with her. I've never broken up with someone before, I want to do it as amicably and painlessly as possible. |
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