id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_q465g | relationships | 2 months in...is this normal? | I've (23 M) been dating this girl (22 F) since the beginning of January. We meet up at least once a week now for either dinner/lunch or going out on the weekends, and I've been spending the night at her place almost every time we go out.
Here's the thing. It's been almost two months, and when we are together things are great... she acts like we're together, kissing, sex. But i'm the one that is always initiating things. Whether its meeting for dinner, texting, activities on the weekends, and even sex. She seems to enjoy whenever I do these things, but it's almost like if I were not to initiate anything we would probably never even talk to each other again...
My last relationship lasted 3.5 years and my girlfriend and I had talked and seen each other every day, so I'm a little unsure of how I'm supposed to proceed. Perhaps its a communication issue, becuase we've hardly even talked about what is going on between the two of us. Until now it's just been go with the flow and have fun. My only worry is that if I bring something up and try to make things serious, she'll get freaked and want to end whatever we have going on.
So what should i do? I'm really happy with this girl, but I hate how one-sided it feels sometimes. Do I just keep going along with it and hope she comes around or do I give her an ultimatum and ask WTF is going on here? | Dating for two months, see each other multiple times a week and things feel great when together, but one-sided as I'm the only one taking initiative with anything. |
t3_27cgtn | offmychest | I have a huge anger problem | I have anger management issues.
Well, it's not like I've been diagnosed with it, but I do know, that I don't get very angry often. Actually, I'm incredibly peaceful, very easy-going according to my friends, and genuinely a good person.
But the the problem is when I do get angry, my anger knows no bounds. People tend to want to violent, like punch a wall violent. Not me. I go straight to plotting murder and how to get away with it. I've never followed through on a human, since my "need" to see red isn't there so much as when I'm not angry, but it still scares the hell out of me, like I might snap one day and actually hurt someone really badly. | when I'm angry, I want to kill people or animals, anything, and it's been this way since I was a child. |
t3_3it6at | relationships | Me [23F] with my BF [23M], difference between posting nudes and porn | Hi all, I just wanted to ask yous about something I get in a disagreement with the BF about.
I want to post naked photos of myself (no face) on reddit. I have body image issues and think it would help me. BF doesn't want me to. He doesn't like the thought of people getting off to a photo of me. I personally wouldn't care if he posted his nudes anonymously.
I am finding it hypocritical because he watches porn. To me, if you're happy to get off to photos and videos of strangers on the internet, then it's hypocritical to have a problem with your SO posting photos/videos online of themselves. I actually have the same opinion of going to strip clubs and the like. In my view if he feels it's okay to go to get a lap dance and the like, then he should also be okay with me becoming a stripper and doing the same to others (I say this because it was something I considered doing with student loans).
I would love to hear everyone's opinion on this. I'm not going to go against his wishes but I'd still like to read what you all think. | I feel it's hypocritical to watch porn and go to strip clubs if you wouldn't be okay with your SO posting nudes or being a stripper. Looking for opinions on the matter |
t3_1xdu30 | AskReddit | Can't really tell if this girl im currently seeing like's me more than friends or if its still too early to tell? | Hey Guys And Girls
I have been seeing this girl for a couple months we talk alot when were both online i met her on facebook but we went to the same school, I never knew her in school but after i finished in 2008 i was stunned by how hot she hot, In saying that she was never ugly just not my style if you know what i mean, But things are different now it was my mistake because she was recently engaged with a guy that i spite not because he was with her just because his like every other typical holden commodore driving douche nugget,I am seeing her again tonight for coffee's & chats and see where that goes, My question is what signs should i be looking for to know if she likes me or not or will i notice i am not sure i have never been on too much dates cept with this girl. All advice is welcome :D thanks | Currently seeing a girl for couple months catching up for coffee's tonight what signs should i look for if she likes me. |
t3_mrv55 | AskReddit | Is it ever all right to steal? Even if it's from a big corporation? Even if everyone else is doing it? | I flew on a major airline in the middle of last month. I really liked the blanket I was given on the plane - it was warm, but not too heavy, cut the cold of the airconditioning but was comfortable and cool to sleep under. I contemplated taking my blanket home with me, especially since I saw people around me stuffing their blankets and pillows into their hand-luggage (right under the noses of aircrew, who didn't react).
I decided that stealing was wrong, so I left my blanket behind. I went home, and a couple of days later, I emailed the airline's customer care, telling them how much I'd enjoyed the flight, especially the blanket, and asked if it would be possible to purchase one. I was hoping that it wouldn't be too expensive, or that they'd just send me one as a goodwill gesture.
Instead, a few days later, I got an email saying that they appreciated my compliment, but weren't able to sell me a blanket. It was all very polite and a little frustrating. If they don't want to sell me one, they have every right.
But now I'm contemplating nicking a blanket the next time I fly.
I've given this company so much support and loyalty over the years, and it's just a stupid blanket, for pete's sake. I'm disappointed, and really, if other people do it, would it be so wrong if I did it? This airline's CEO makes giant bundles of money, and I'm sure that some of it came from the profits from my travels. Shouldn't I be (dare I say it) entitled to a miserable blanket for my troubles, especially since I offered to buy one and they declined? I feel bad, but I'm just about indignant enough to do it. | I offered to buy a blanket from my favourite airline and they declined, so now I'm tempted to just steal one like other people do. |
t3_1j1ebb | relationships | How do I [18/M] free myself of an underage girl seeking me out? | I'm 18, and there is this girl who is quite younger than me, who is a sister of a friend of mine from Steam. She lives in Kansas, she is underage, and I am not looking for a relationship under these circumstances.
So, my first mistake: allowing her to text my cell phone (got my number from friend on steam), and now through leading her on (accidentally of course -- I would never lead on a girl this much younger than me) she keeps trying to contact me. Nothing super creepy, just the occasional "Hey" every so often, but I just hate leaving her hanging. I've always been the "nice guy", so it's hard to just ignore her.
I've already told her that my parents don't want me talking to her, which they didn't say, but I'm sure if they knew I was talking to her, they probably wouldn't like it. . . Still, she texts me. Should I ignore her? What is your opinion on the situation? | Underage girl keeps texting me and I would prefer she didn't, what is a good way to get rid of her? |
t3_2cmweo | relationships | I am [24 M] getting sick of my girlfriend [22 F] of 4 years playing Neopets all the time. | So me and her, let's call her Miranda, have a very good relationship with no problems. Except one. Some times she just gets super addicted to a game of some sort for a long ass time.
For about the last week or two it's been her old Neopets account. I mean for crying out loud, she was up til 7 am one day just only doing Neopets.
I'm getting sick of it. She'll just be upstairs playing it instead of wanting to do something with me. She tells me "Oh just hang out with me while I play". Well that ends up being me trying to talk to her about random junk while she kinda ignores me. Last night I didn't even bother talking because I thought it was pointless.
This won't like end us or anything. She'll eventually get tired of it but sometimes that takes like a month or two. And I'm just so fucking sick of it. It pisses me off and makes me feel depressed. Like she'd rather spend time doing whatever the hell on Neopets then do anything with me. Hell it's killing my sex drive.
I've mentioned it to her (Hun can you please stop playing for a while?) and she just blows it off.
So what should I do? Cuz I have no clue. | Girlfriend is playing Neopets like crazy to the point of staying up til morning. Not really hanging out or talking with me and it's driving me insane. |
t3_15gevj | relationships | I (19M) got a bit mad at my girlfriend (19F), now her parents are being a bit overbearing, how do I fix? | We have been together for 6 months, and today I got mad at my girlfriend for changing plans to visit me over the break for what seems like the eleventh time. I do admit faut for getting angry, but my points are: 1.she needs to stand up to her parents and tell them no, because the reason I got angry was because she couldnt say no to a party they wanted to take her to. 2. She is an adult now, and she shouldn't need to let her parents decide what she can and cant do. Also, I was counting on her visit, because she was gojng to help me inform my parents of my shift in education. What should I do to get her to visit as planned? | I got a little miffed at my girlfriend (19F) over her changing plans, then parents went into overdrive.halp? |
t3_26bqp8 | dogs | How concerned should I be about my dogs behavior? | I just returned home from a walk to the park with my children (2&7) and our 2 yo amstaff mix, female.
My stomach is in knots, it was so stressful. She barks and growls and pulls, but most dogs are in their yards away from the sidewalk 25 feet. Until we turn the corner and the sidewalk is right next to the fence. With a small yippee dog. Fuck me! Omg, she wants to kill other dogs. She went nuts! I was tempted to leave her at the park. I did not want to do that again.
But I did. And she growled at a man washing his car and then tried to eat the little dog on the extendable leash thing. I told that girl, do not let your dog get closer. I was down a driveway away from the sidewalk while my dog is up on her back legs trying to choke herself to eat this dog.
We have to chain her up outside because she jumps the fence. We have a new neighbor behind us that has a dog. My husband and I were in the back when the neighbor let her dog out. Our dog scaled the fence, ignoring us yelling and my husband running to grab her, to get at the dog. He jumped the fence and grabbed her before she actually fought the other dog.
Is this fixable? Can she learn to behave on a walk?
I'm embarrassed at what we/I must have looked like, ugh. | My dog hates dogs, maybe other people, and I'm afraid she is going to hurt someone or something. Can she be trained? |
t3_3mamuz | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [19 F] 11 months, she had a UTI, now has Staph. | I'll try to be as concise as possible.
My girlfriend developed a UTI about a month ago, and the antibiotics seemed to work within a week. Now, for the past week, it seemed to be back and much worse. She is constantly uncomfortable and it kills me to not be able to help her, I don't know what to do.
Then, today, a nurse from the doctor's office calls her to inform her that she has a staph infection, which they found out after her most recent checkup which included a urine sample.
She's freaking out, and I would be too. A very close relative died of septic shock and it scares the absolute shit out of me. She didn't stay over tonight because she's scared it will spread, and she's scared I already have it.
I've never dealt with this before. I always thought that staphylococcus was something was visible on the skin, and happened through cuts. Now I'm worried that I was infected and gave it to her through intercourse, and I feel like absolute shit. I really just want to be there for her because she's really freaking out, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how it spreads, I don't know what we're allowed to do and what we shouldn't do just to be safe. | Girlfriend has a staph infection. We're both scared shitless and not sure what to do. I'm not sure I entirely understand exactly how it even came to be. |
t3_gmjmv | AskReddit | How do I ask my Highschool/recently graduated neighbors to turn the booming stereo down without seeming like an old dickhead? | There is a 50+ person (2nd in the past month) party 4 doors down, and the bass is shaking the house and keeping the kids and wife up. It is now 1115 PM. I asked them to turn it down, and they did, but you know how parties are, it went back up a short while later. I have no issue with the laughing and carrying on, it is just the booming bass. I just wander over ans say " hey the bass is carrying, can you turn it down?" How can I be a bit more forceful, but not turn into "that guy"? | Youngsters and their loud music playing all hours of the night, I don't want to be the bitchy neighbor. |
t3_44w4n0 | running | Low breathrate, slowish speed, mild fatigue but high heart rate; why? | Hi r/running! As of four months or so, I've picked up running again from about 2 years earlier when I ran regular 5k's. I do one hour of spinning and two runs of about 5k per week. I noticed that whilst spinning I felt very out of breath and I was absolutely knackered after training (good). As for running though: relatively easy, nothing too uncomfortable breathwise. I know I am running slower than 2 years ago (8,5km/h now vs 9,5-10km/h) but that is good because it's easier to keep running as I naturally dislike it; running too fast will get me in the "I really don't wanna do this" mode. I'm planning on running a 10k so I'm building up.
I was curious to the difference in heartrate between spinning (I'm gonna die) and running (I'm relatively okay) so I borrowed a heart rate monitor that goes around your chest.
Lo and behold my surprise when on an average run my heartrate went way above 180 (more like 183-187). For my age (F, 31) and weight (136 lbs, 5" 7) that is pretty high. However, I wasn't out of breath at all and I didn't feel exhausted or winded. Heartrate also dropped quite fast after I stopped running.
Spinning is different, relatively lower heartrates (high 170ies) in high intensity intervals, but that felt much more like working out.
So, is this a matter of being in not such a good shape, do I have a natural high heart rate? And, should I train differently? I've read that one could run slower but I feel like already I am going way slower than what is possible and what I've done 2 years ago. | I spin and I run. Thought from breath rate that spinning would send heart rates soaring: nope. Running gets my ticker all sorts of crazy without me being very out of breath. Why this imbalance? |
t3_25banx | legaladvice | Need help with a situation my mom is facing in her job at the municipality (Ontario) | My mom is a tax clerk working for our town in southern Ontario and she is also a second generation immigrant with her parents originally from India so she is very brown. The original issue she had was that her manager refused to talk to her about anything and treated her differently than the other people in the office (who are all white).She filled a HR complaint against her for harassment. The complaint was eventually reviewed and the manager made many claims about people being afraid of her but non of those people actually testified to the review board (made up of the CAO and other town employees). My mother eventually received a ruling saying that her managers actions were not considered harassment and even stated that my mother was unapproachable, despite town policy saying that these decisions can not reprimand the person who filed the complaint. The signatures on the decision also appeared to have been forged as the initials for the four people looked to have been written by the same person and one woman had signed while she was in Asia. The conflict ended with a mediator coming in for conflict resolution meetings where the other main issue was raised about racism in the office. My mother was eventually asked by her manager to write down a list of racial slurs that she would find offensive. The other members of the office have repeatedly made racial comments about customers and continue to do so despite my mother asking them to stop and the manager is ignoring her responsibility to make them stop. Any legal action she could take? | My brown mother was harassed at work, complaint was dismissed with a possible forged signature on the decision and is now facing racial issues at work. The manager is not doing anything and makes some comments herself. |
t3_3h4gpt | relationships | An acquaintance [21 M] hates me [21 M], presumably over a girl I had sex with [21 F] | There is a male acquaintance of mine who has been hating me for some time. He used to be able to be around me for some time, and I have no problems with him today, but apparently he has, every time I'm around him he tells me to go away and when I speak to others he just stares at me with an ugly face.
We are both part of the same big sports club, we had done some practice together but not much more. Last fall our club had an end-of season "recap meeting" (party) with an overnight stay at a hotel/resort. It was a fun night, to say the least, and at 3am I found myself alone in a room with a female acquaintance who started touching me, and it didn't take long before we ended up in bed together. Throughout our sexual activity she kept talking about this other guy, that she had been looking for him, he had said he was coming to her room, that he didn't answer his phone or her messages, etc. We finished and I walked back to my room to get some sleep. The day after she texted me, asked if something inappropriate happened, that I shouldn't tell anyone, etc. She apparently promised to keep quiet as well.
Then, when I met this guy again some weeks later, his demeanor had changed considerably, he was extremely unfriendly and hostile towards me, and this has continued up to today.
I can only assume that this girl has told him what happened or that he has found out in another way, and that he had some sort of expectation or deal of having sex with her that night that wasn't fulfilled. That is only my assumption, but I can't think of any other reason behind his behavior towards me.
How should I approach this situation? Should I ask the girl whether she has told him, or if she knows that he has found out what I did with her? Should I confront him with whether the reason for his hate is the relation I had with this girl?
The whole origin of the incident is incredibly embarassing for me, I just want to forget it, but presumably there is at least one other person who hasn't forgotten it. | A male acquaintance has started hating me, coincidentally just after me having sex with a girl he had been texting. How should I approach this, considering the incident was very embarassing? |
t3_3isq8t | tifu | TIFU by bike riding to MicroCenter | So I had the brilliant idea to ride my bike to my nearest Microcenter, because every time I ask my mother to she looks at me with a fire in her eyes, and an absence in her soul. So I decided to take the 10.5 mile ride for exercise, self pride and to buy a MOTHAFUCKIN'980 Ti YO!
Fast forward to me arriving at MicroCenter. At this point my body is producing enough liquid to quench the thirst of a small African village. I take my time, leisurely strolling through the isles cause I just rode 10.5 miles, and I ain't fuckin' Superman. I end up with a fan set, and then proceed to ask for someone to grab the 980 Ti for me. I make my way to the checkout line and proceed to jump around like a 5 year old girl in my mind, out of pure excitement.
Once all of that is done it's my turn to checkout. I go up to the register and smack that fucking piece of paper on the counter like I'm presenting a summons, and proceed to say "I'm gaming good tonight!" As the cashier arrives with my graphics card I can feel the excitement rushing through me. After a few minutes of scanning and beeps, she gives me my total. I proceed to swipe my card, and go through the process. Only to see "Not Authorized" on her screen. I instantly knew why. Mother... Fucking... Fraud... Proctection! And of course my banks customer service line was "closed for the night". Forcing me to leave, to another 10.5 mile ride home (21 miles in total), empty handed. | Rode my bike 10.5 miles to MicroCenter to buy a 980 Ti only to find out my card was being declined due to fraud protection. Had to ride the other 10.5 miles back home** ***empty handed.*** |
t3_2fbeid | relationships | I [22] feel like I don't know anyone, and I'm about to graduate college. | Was a bit nervous posting here but I just wanted some more outside opinion on this problem that I have.
About four weeks ago, roughly before my senior year of college started, my SO of four and a half years broke up with me out of the blue. We were in an LDR and we were planning on getting married after I finished up my summer semester and I would move to his state to be with him. This came as a complete shock due to not seeing any signs as to him acting strange about it prior, but never the less, it happened.
This was my first relationship and I invested a LOT of my time into it (which from my understanding, tends to happen in first loves). My ex and I are both gamers so throughout our LDR we'd skype and game all the time on our computers. Looking back on the past years in that relationship, I realized I invested way too much time by not meeting new friends and missing out on fun opportunities. I've never had a lot of friends to begin with, and many of my current friends I met were my ex's (I met and hung out with these people when I visited him, as well as chat/game online, etc). Now that we're broken up, these friends don't talk to me much at all give or take one, maybe two. All in all I suddenly feel very lonely, and especially when it comes to me about to graduate next semester, I feel like I'm starting my life over alone. I have a bad anxiety disorder which makes it hard for me to go and meet new people/ My college as well is a small liberal arts school that is very "clique-ish" which makes it hard to break the ice and I don't drink/party which many people do on campus to socialize. I feel like I'm at a loss and might just end up alone forever, but I don't know if that's just from post-break-up depression. I keep telling myself I'll meet more people after I graduate but then I keep having second thoughts. Has anyone else gone through this and can offer any insight? | BF broke up with me, lost friends because of it because I invested too much time, about to graduate knowing no one at school and essentially starting over alone. Help! |
t3_3ye1cu | relationships | Feel like the girl im dating [24F] is keeping me [24M] on the backburner. | Throwaway cause she uses reddit sometimes.
This is my total dream girl from high school...
She dated a guy from senior year until July of this year.
They broke up because they grew apart (this is what she told me).
We began dating in September and made it official in October. (Yeah I know it was way too fast but there's nothing I can do about it now).
In late November she broke it off without any notice because she "wasn't over her ex".
Apparently she met up with him once in the week we didn't talk and got closure.
We started talking about two weeks later and began dating again but she doesn't want to make things official yet. She says that she needs more time to become her own person and be able to stand on her own two feet.
I am incredibly in love with her and she knows this. She says we are dating exclusively but I just want to make it official again. For some reason it just kills me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship like before.
I will, more or less, do anything to stay with her but I do have an ounce of pride left and a tiny part of me wants to keep it and tell her its all or nothing. I know it's stupid to give her aan ultimatum like that but I am a relationship-y guy and that's what my heart truly desires.
I'm not sure what to do at this point.. Any advice is appreciated. | I was with my dream girl. She broke it off cause she wasn't over her ex. We started dating again but she doesn't want t make it official and I do.. What should I do? |
t3_3f1mer | tifu | TIFU by annoying my sister and her friend, in a towel. | I like to annoy my sister quite a lot, we annoy each other and prank each other. I wasn't just trying to be a dick, it's just what we do. I pranked her recently, and today she got revenge. I woke them up early, and splashed some water on them. But, later after my shower, I went downstairs to get a drink. This is where my sister and her friend was. I then began to annoy them.
What I didn't realize is how angry they got. Her friend trip me up and I fell over. Except, my towel flew away too. They burst out laughing, and her friend called me pale ass. . I put my towel back on, and on my way out, I tripped up again, this time by my own feet. This caused another huge set of laughter, as my behind was revealed to her friend again. I was in too much shock to see my towel, so I ran for it butt-naked, and just left the room.
When I came back in, fully dressed, her friend showed me her little finger and said, "Teeny weeny." They both burst out laughing again, and I stayed in the room trying to change the subject. | Annoyed sister and her friend, until I tripped over her friend and my towel fell off, twice. I also got called pale ass and teeny weeny |
t3_2x3ntm | relationship_advice | When/why should I (not) confess about how I [20M] feel? | General question; I put *not* in parentheses because I might find it more helpful to know when *not* to, rather than when I should.
I guess this could also lead to the question: "How do I know that I'm in love with someone?", but I won't ask that since it's supposedly different for everyone.
While the question is general, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to provide context as to why I'm asking this question:
#Context
About a year ago I met this girl at uni camp. Initially I was indifferent (I think), but after hanging out for a while in the first month, I found myself thinking about her **ALOT**. Also found myself denying that I love her, but, maybe I really do?
Anyway, we haven't really done much together, if at all. From what I remember, there's the excursion with other friends to some fun place (BOUNCEinc), and a dinner *"date"* (what makes something a date anyway?), but that's it. I do/did try to converse with her through IM, but it's never satisfying because she *always* stops responding without warning (I presume she's just busy whenever that happens, but maybe I'm fooling myself? I mean, the notifications are *right there*, wth?)
Fast forward a year later, to now, still wondering if I should tell her, and when. The doubt is mostly because we haven't interacted much and I feel it might make the situation.....awkward, but also because I suspect she's already in a relationship (not certain).
Right now, I'm thinking of calling her up and offering my time to chat over some coffee or something; see how that goes.
So, what should I do? Confess? Don't speak of it? Talk her into some night(s) out? Am I even playing the dating game (right)?
##context | Aside from a "date" and an outing, didn't do much with "her"; want to confess but not sure if I should, thinking she's probably already in a relo. |
t3_3oq1av | Pets | My dog seems to be acting different ever since he got home from his pet sitter. | Hi everyone,
I wanted to know if anyone has had this experience before or has any knowledge to why this is happening.
My family and I went to Europe last Tuesday (10/6) to this Monday (10/12). Before exiting our trip, we brought my dog to his usual pet sitter. This is the third time this lady is watching my dog. From past experiences, my dog would usually come home a little different, which I thought was normal (kind of like a jet-lag feeling), but this time is just a lot different. My dog has become SUPER lazy. Like he won't run up the stairs anymore, he won't run to me when I get home from work or school, and he doesn't even get excited when I try to play with his favorite toy. Hes just been super blah. He'll just laying down in one spot and staying there until I MAKE him go outside. When I yell "Snoopy!" he usually RUNS to that toy and waits for me to tug-a-war it and throw it so he can chase it and he hasn't done so. I'm really worried about my lil guy and I'm not sure why this is happening or what I should do. If anyone has any insight or recommendations, I'm all ears.
Thank you all | my dog has become super lazy ever since he got back from his pet sitter. Not sure why or what to do. |
t3_cmrze | AskReddit | Reddit, help me settle an important debate: Would you hang on and watch The Simpsons if it's format changed so that the characters "aged" for the remaining seasons? | Ok, so Reddit, can we have a discussion about The Simpsons right now?
My boyfriend proposed this idea earlier tonight. He had a couple of drinks beforehand.
So, say The Simpsons is getting toward the end of its life, right? My boyfriend says that the writers should consider starting to age the characters in real time through the end of the series. Like, season to season, Bart and Lisa should be advancing in school, Homer and Marge get older, etc. This way the writers could "keep things fresh" and always have new material since the relationships between the characters would have to change as they age. This would be groundbreaking and fascinating to watch both because it is:
A) A huge change so late into a TV series &
B) The only cartoon (to my knowledge-I haven't had cable in years) in which all the characters age and we could identify with them like the family from Full House.
I disagree with the whole idea completely. I think the writers are still doing just fine and that over the years, changes in the show's approach are obvious but not so much so that they alienate too many of their viewers. Furthermore, they've maintained an audience for 22 years without any wild changes to the set up (with perhaps the exception of killing off Maude) why change for change's sake? I feel that if the writers of The Simpsons were age its characters and announce it to the world, a lot of people will see it as a "jumping the shark" scenario. | Would you hang on and watch The Simpsons if it's format changed so that the characters "aged" for the remaining seasons? |
t3_bqi9w | AskReddit | Reddit, I Need advice on taking a web site spammer to small claims court | Sorry for posting again. I forgot to select AskReddit... and I made some minor changes.
I run a local site that, until recently, received a fair amount of spam. Because it's a local site, much of the spam was from local companies who think the site exists to provide them with free advertising... So, similar to what I've seen on a couple other sites, I added terms to the registration agreement that, basically, states that if they spam, and do not become a sponsor, their posts will be removed, they will be banned and they have to pay me $X.
The verbiage is not hidden in the registration agreement and they had to check a box to agree. It's also on several pages throughout the site including the advertising page and in the official rules for using the site. Additionally, an announcement was made and they registered after the terms were added/announced. The terms address those who advertise/promote their company, or act as if they're a customer to promote their business. It's also clear that it's better/cheaper to just become a sponsor.
Someone came along and spammed for a local company. Not surprisingly, the person initially lied about having anything to do w/ the company. I provided proof (their name, email address, WHOIS & other sites they promoted on), so they then admitted to being associated with the company ("friends" with the owner) and agreed to become a sponsor. Now, I'm told that the co. owner and this person would rather hire an attorney and fight it because they think no harm was done.
I'm in a state where individuals must represent themselves in small claims court, so I'm not worried about their attorneys in that regard. I am worried about whether they can/will counter-sue (& not through small claims court). I can't pay to fight that...
So, what are my chances? Should I worry about anything? Should I drop it and hang out at their business with a 10'x3' banner promoting my site & say no harm is being done? | local spammer agreed via registration terms to pay $X if they spam, then spammed - what are chances in small claims court? |
t3_3y0ojg | tifu | TIFU by holding the door open for a cute girl | This happened this morning.
Pretty normal start to the day, get up, get ready and go to work. By the time I get there ~7:45 AM I'm still feeling half asleep. So I'm walking into the building a few paces ahead of this girl that I've seen around the office, she's pretty and I'm shy... we've never really talked.
Anyway, I get to the door and hold it open for her, she says thank you, and I start to say "no problem" but then the sleepy half of my brain decided I should say "of course" instead. So it sorta came out as "Nnnfcourse."
An hour later I got called into the security office... There I find the cute girl, her manager, the head of security and one of her guards, and the site manager. So the managers and head of security bring me into an office and ask me "What the hell were you thinking?!" At this point I'm pretty much just trying to figure out what's going on.
So I asked what they were talking about. Apparently the girl thought I said "Intercourse!" I guess she was creeped out and told her manager and he kinda blew it up from there. Luckily the security people and site manager know me pretty well and it all turned into a bit of a laugh. I still had to apologize to the girl though, but at least we've talked! Right? | Held the door for a cute girl, sleepy brain combined no problem and of course into something that sounded like 'intercourse.' Fun times ensue. |
t3_2gqwcc | relationships | I (23 M) don't want anything to do with my Mom (48 F) or her new family, including my half-brother (about to be 1), about to have a kid with my Fiancee (23 F). | My dad died when I was two in a car accident. My mom took it hard, became addicted to painkillers, and then meth, and was the worst mother possible to me without abusing me. She just wasn't there. She left me alone for a week when I was fourteen, and I was so scared I couldn't tell anyone. She came back, I yelled at her and cried, and somehow everything got back to "normal."
When I was 17 she went to rehab, and has been clean ever since. She married some super-Christian guy, had another son, and seems happy.
I've never forgiven her. I felt like if I didn't at least outwardly forgive her I would be actively sabotaging her attempt to get better, so I went along with it.
Her husband is obnoxious to me, he's always talking about religion, while I just don't care and won't care until my deathbed. I don't feel anything for my half-brother, and refuse to baby-sit or do anything with him, I've just told them it's because I'm nervous around babies.
I just decided that I really don't want them in my life, my fiancee just told me she's pregnant (we're happy) and I don't want them around my child. I feel like I individually could put up with them, but I guess it just makes me mad that she could be such a shit mother, and still call herself a grandmother to my kid.
What's the best way of removing them from my life? I don't even want to be particularly cruel, I want them to know because I know how it feels to be left without a word, without knowing anything. | Need to cut off my mom and her family because I don't want them around my kid, can't just disappear. How do I tell them this? |
t3_298n2u | relationship_advice | I'm [26/m] falling for my best friend's sister (21/f) and I'm unsure what to do. | So a few months ago I decided to get a place with two of my buddies. We wanted to rent a house to help avoid the current bed bug epidemic in the area. So we found a place but one of them bailed last minute due to his mother in another state deteriorating and needing his support. So we looked for a replacement and eventually the friend's that didn't bail sister came on board.
I rarely hung out with his sister before this but it was pretty well known that shes had a huge crush on me for a long time. Her family even makes jokes and off hand comments about it. I honestly didn't think anything of it and she's a sweet person so I thought all would be good.
So two weeks into this and she's driving me nuts. She constantly flirts with me, is extremely handy, and we end up texting each other all day. And I enjoy it all a lot.
I suppose no one can really answer this besides myself, but should I act on this? I mean there's obvious risk of losing a roommate if things don't work out and of course the repercussions with my buddy. I should probably give things time, maybe we'll both cool down a bit.
If I do, I'm living with her brother, he's in the room next to mine and these walls ain't thick. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate hearing his best friend and sister be cute with each other in the next room.
I feel its risky but right now the reward seems worth it at this moment in time. | Friend's younger sister has a crush on me. I thought it was a good idea to live with both of them. Now I'm starting to crush on her. Not sure if I should act on feelings. |
t3_2zemih | relationships | Me [20/m] and my girlfriend [16/f] broke up, but i still miss her, should i talk back? | I was in a relationship with my girl for almost a year. One day she started to ignore me but i didn't understand why she is ignoring me so i asked her best friend and she told me she's broke up because you don't give her much time and that was true.
But I was little bit shocked too because she never complained about this thing. So right after, i talked to her and things settled down and we start talking each other but there was something missing in her nature she wasn't like she was before. And every time i asked her what's the problem i got just one answer "every thing is fine". And after few day i asked her should we broke up?
And she said it's all up to you. I wasn't expecting this answer but in the and we ended. | I am like addicted to her these last three days and nights she was all over my mind and i still love her really much. No clue, what should i do. Should i talk back or just leave?. |
t3_20m0au | relationships | Me [26 F] with my bf [37M] 3 years, I dont know if im being completely unreasonable...please help | HI Reddit...bf and i have always had a good relationship. lately in the last couple weeks he's been going out alone about 3 times a week late at night. about 10:30pm. there is usually no warning and he just says he's going to have another couple beers. he also never invites me. I'd say no most likely anyway.
Reddit, i really hate that he does this. We fight about it constantly. I have to wake up early. So i hate that he comes home and wakes me up. i also hate the fact that I am laying in bed and falling asleep alone. I have told him this and his response is to "get over it". Well i wish i could, but i just cant.
I hate worrying all night if he's just going to up and leave. I thought we came to a compromise when i asked if he could tell me earlier in the night. I bought benedryl thinking that might help, but i'd want to take it early. not at 11pm at night. Well night he did it again. its 11:30pm.
I really dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im at a crossroads. I've considered just dealing with it. i guess i rather him happy than me, but every time he does it its a huge fight because i cant hold it in. and i wind up crying and being miserable the next day. I really dont see a happy medium. Can anyone offer some insight into the situation? | BF insists on going out late to the bar to be social about 3 nights a week. i cant deal with this anymore! |
t3_2tiyw4 | relationships | Me [23 M] had a great night with my colleague's sister [25 F] last night, but I've had really bad experiences with mixing work and dating in the past. How can I make this work without jeopardising my work situation? | So as the title says, I met my colleague's sister last night and we both had a really good time, but I exercised a painful amount of self control and didn't make a move on her, although I definitely made it clear I was into her as well. In hindsight I feel like a dick for being that confusing and unclear, but at the time I was drunk with good intentions.
The reason I didn't make a move is that I've had several experiences mixing work and dating in multiple ways in the past, and it's always ended from awkward to pretty horrible.
I get on really well with her sister (my colleague), but I work with her closely every day and her personality type is that if anything went sour between myself and her sister, there's only one side she's taking and logic wouldn't be involved in that decision (others have agreed I made a good move on that basis).
That would make my work situation really uncomfortable. Even the lingering thought that my colleague knows what's going on in my dating life to that extent is distracting in my day to day work life.
So despite all of that...I haven't enjoyed a night out with a girl as much as last night in...literally years, and I'm only 23. I want to figure out a way to make this work, and I kind of want to do it quickly because I imagine there's not a massive window where I can fill her in on this and she understands before I float into "didn't make a move" territory. | How would you feel about not telling your sister about dating her colleague for a while? Or can you think of any other way to make this work? Thanks for any help |
t3_5464om | relationships | My older sister (26F) is addicted to having affairs, moved in with me (23M) and is very depressed lately | My sister moved in with me a couple months ago. I don't mind, I'm single right now, needed a roommate and she's good company. My problem is that she can be quite mopey. The problem is she ruins most of her relationships by cheating or not caring. She says she's got an addiction to having affairs and the best thing she can do for any guy she likes is just not date anymore.
She's 26 and has pretty much decided it'll be easier for her to live as an old maid forever. I don't know how to help her beyond just kind of listening when she wants to vent. In the past she did cheat on a friend of mine but they're on good terms now. She's a good person, addiction to affairs aside, kind, always fun to hang out with and always there for her friends as well as our siblings and parents.
She herself has admitted her addiction as she describes it is incredibly shitty, not just to herself but to the people she's hurt. She doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to do or say to help her. For what it's worth she's been attending therapy for this.
I know this may not be the best place to ask for advice considering what infidelity posts usually look like regarding the cheater. I can't imagine there's going to be much sympathy for someone who is addicted to cheating but if anyone wants to at least look past their initial horror/disgust for my sister that you'll probably feel, that would be nice. | Big sis is addicted to having affairs, moved in with me and is very depressed about her behaviour and the people she's hurt |
t3_dk45z | self | Damnit UPS. | This is just a rant. A very, very angry rant.
So two weeks ago I order three books for my new classes. A few days later (I ordered the overnight for $20 extra, but they managed to fuck that up and sent them three days later), the books finally come in and one of them is fucked up beyond belief. I mean, missing the first twenty five pages, and it is written in. So I tell textbooks.com and they send me out another book. They don't overnight it and so I have to wait another week to get this one book. I'm pissed at textbooks.com, and I'm SUPER pissed at UPS for not getting my shit on time. My book was supposed to come in yesterday. They said that they didn't have an address to send the shit to me so they called and asked how to get to my dorm. Then I waited until this morning until they emailed me saying that I'd have to drive out to Lufkin to pick up my package. That's about an hour drive and I don't have the gas for my car. Is this an outrageous demand? I just want my goddamn package delivered to me.
Has anyone else had to drive an hour to pick up a package for UPS? What the fuck. | Fucking UPS is holding my package which is past overdue and demands that I drive all the way out to Lufkin to pick it up. |
t3_2whn1g | jobs | Ontario Police Job Opportunities in the Future - Realistic? | Long story short, im a soon to be university graduate who wants to become a police officer.
I realized university was not for me but finished my degree because it was mostly paid for by scholarships. I want to get a job where i help people. I looking into public service because i felt like it would be the fight for me, and i really feel that it is. Firefighting caught my eye as well as policing. But policing drew me in a little more as i feel there are more interpersonal conflicts to resolve which is something i feel i am great at.
But, what is the job scene for police officers? I will be enrolled in a police foundations course at Algonquin College in Ottawa next this upcoming fall. It is a two year program, but after i graduate that, what are my chances at landing a job? As dedicated as i am to pursuing this, i am concerned about not getting a job for many years. I know i have what it takes. Im a tall, strong, athletic man who has the privilege of a relatively comfy upper-middle class life and a great head on my shoulders. But i feel like some luck is involved in getting this kind of job, or knowing someone.
I have a decent paying job right now (bar tending) but do not want this to be my life or to wait until im like 29 to start a career as a police officer. Can anyone shed light on my issues? | Uni grad looking to become a police officer in Ottawa. Going to Algonquin College for the police foundations program, concerned about job opportunities in the future |
t3_4ivqa9 | personalfinance | Hi PF, today I opened a Roth IRA. Did I make the right choice? | I suppose I should give a bit of background as to why I am asking this question. My dad didn't start saving for retirement until his 30's, and due to his student loan debt doesn't know when he'll be able to retire (he went to school late and got his masters from a private school). This Saturday I will be finishing my undergraduate degree with just shy of $14,000 in debt and in the fall I will begin a 2-year graduate program where I expect to be taking out somewhere around $18,000 in loans each year.
Today I opened a Roth IRA with $2,000 I had in a savings account that was accruing interest at a very low rate. I have a little over $4,000 in an emergency fund, make around $800 per month after taxes (NY state) and only have around $500 in monthly expenses. Upon graduation I expect to begin earning between $55-65,000/year within a few months.
Was opening a retirement account the right choice? I know that the options for me were to open the account or make that as a lump payment towards my loans. I do plan on adding to my emergency fund over the next two years, and once I feel a bit more secure financially using some or most of it to make a lump payment towards my loans. I know that I am luckier than many in that I have a fairly low amount in loans, a decent paying job for a college student ($12/hour going up to $12.50 in the fall), and live somewhere with fairly cheap living (rent is $280 a month and utilities another $70), but the feeling of preparing for the future and the number of options there are is a bit overwhelming. | Graduating college with $14K in loans and starting graduate school, put 2K that I had saved up in a Roth IRA and don't know if that was the right choice. |
t3_4ilgje | relationships | Me [43 M] not wanting to screw up a potential relationship with her [37 F] | Divorced and dating has been awful. lol. I finally met somebody I think the world and I don't want to blow it so I'm asking for advice.
She is just out of a "bad relationship" and wants to casually date. I respect that and have been in total "no pressure" mode. But my God is she amazing!
Today she told me that she thinks about me a lot and likes so much about me, but she's afraid I might want something more serious than she's ready for. However, she's open to see what happens. I realize i'm likely setting myself up for disappointment but I really believe she's worth the risk.
Any advice on how best to handle? I'm trying to communicate infrequently. I'm not laying it on thick. I'm happy to be talking with her and more than willing to go very slow. It's just new territory for me and I'd love some input. | Met a girl. She's awesome and wants to date casually. I'd love more and don't want to screw it up. |
t3_2yq1l9 | relationships | Me [25F] with ex [26M], been carrying this shitty torch for 5 years and need help on how to let go | Hey there /r/relationships.
5 years ago, I met the guy who would become my first love and first serious relationship. We dated for a year and a half, broke up for a year, dated for another year, and finally broke up last year. I've had other flings and relationships yet here I am, still completely in love with him, and dude has moved on (can't blame him). Obviously this relationship was in no way stable/healthy and it's in both our best interests that it ended.
When I dated in the past I always felt like while I cared a lot about the new guy, I kind of knew that if my ex were to ask I would take him back in a heartbeat. Ex has recently let me know he no longer has feelings for me (good for him!). I still do. We met today for the first time since our breakup last year and while I thought I was in the right space to finally have a friendship with him, seeing him proved to be extremely painful and now I'm back to square one. I am finally realizing there is no way I can keep this person in my life and it breaks my heart all over again whenever I think about it.
I often idealize him but really I know we're just two ordinary people who didn't work out. Nothing special. I need to move on because this is just exhausting and I have no idea how to finally get over him and stop carrying a torch for a guy who will never come back to me. I am looking for tough love and tips on how to just drop this and move on like he has. | Been in stupid love with my ex for the past 5 years, I know it's over for good but I can't get over him. It's seriously exhausting and I have no idea how to move on. |
t3_oj1pd | relationships | I love my boyfriend, but he needs to get his act together. Help? | Background: I'm an 19 year old female, he's a 21 year old male, and we've been together for over 2 years. He's my brother's best friend and we both fancied one another long before we actually began our relationship.
So, my boyfriend and I are very much in love and are happy together for the most part. There's one problem. He's not very mature or responsible. I can't really rely on him.
He was just academically dismissed from his college, mostly because of procrastination and because he has an awful case of ADD (and the medication he takes for it makes him sick and messes up his sleep schedule). Anyways, I'm being supportive because he's been very down on himself lately concerning this. He thinks that he's disappointed every one and that he's a failure, but he wants to do everything that he can to get back into college.
The big problem isn't even that he was academically dismissed. It's just that he's irresponsible and that he acts immature and does not have a filter. Around my mom and sister he says things that are inappropriate. They like him but they don't like when he says these kinds of things. I always have to call him (normally I always wake him up by doing so around noon or one or so since college is on break) and I have to make all the plans. He refuses to do simple things and can be lazy. He's the most forgetful person that I've ever met, and he's seldom on time.
I love him very much though. We have been having horrible arguments over this issue, and do not want to break up at all, but we don't know what other options there are. I really want to be with him. He loves me a lot and cares about me very much. I just feel like I'm the one that's really taking care of the other. He wants to take care of me and protect me, etc, but he's not. Every time that I talk to him about these issues he tells me that he realizes that they're true, and that he understands and that he will change things to fix our relationship, but I don't see results. What do I do? | My boyfriend doesn't have a filter around my parents, is forgetful, irresponsible and unreliable HOWEVER we love each other very much and he is very nice to me. |
t3_3tivas | askwomenadvice | Should I [26F] try to get the last word in with my ex[28M] before going no contact? | I'm a month out from getting dumped fairly suddenly. We were together 3.5 years and were preparing to move across the country together for his job. A few days before the movers came he brought up doubts he was having about the relationship that I didn't know were issues because he was apparently a terrible communicator, but then we had agreed that our relationship was worth working on and that we would stay together and try to work on things through counseling. Then he changed his mind and ended the relationship. I guess I'm still reeling. Our contact since the breakup has been strictly professional, as we had to deal with the logistics of shipping my stuff back across the country.
But there's on thing that's nagging me. I want him to acknowledge that he lied to me in the last week of our relationship about how he felt about us and about me. He had flown out there ahead of me, and I was going to join him after spending a few weeks with my family. All that week we were talking on the phone, and he told me he was doing fine. Later, he told me that actually he had hardly been sleeping because he was so anxious about our relationship. This, after telling me that he "really wanted to make this work," and after acknowledging that holding his feelings in was making things worse. It really hurt that he would lie to me about his feelings after all the discussions we had, and it's hard to let that go. Maybe it's because I feel it's the only objectively "wrong" thing that he did. I can't blame him for feeling his feelings, but he shouldn't have lied to me! I want him to acknowledge that his lie was hurtful, and apologize. After that, I will go no contact.
On the other hand, I know there's a chance this might backfire and I will not feel better after engaging in an emotional discussion with him. Alternatively, I may not even want him to know how I'm feeling anymore, since he gave up that privilege when he dumped me. Maybe I would feel more vindicated if I just shut him out completely. Will getting this apology give me closure? Or further entrench me in emotional entanglement with him? | I want my ex to apologize for lying to me before we go no contact. Will this give me closure? Or make me feel worse? |
t3_dq8jh | travel | Plane ticket to SF BAY and that's about it... | So here we go. I'm a 21 yr old college student on an internship semester. I bought a plane ticket to visit my girlfriend in San Francisco at the end of the month. Took work off the whole deal. Things just didn't end up working out long distance. I wouldn't mind seeing her but cant spend the whole time with her (I'll save the rest for r/Relationships hahaha). But I am left with this plane ticket and I feel like I'll never get a chance to do something like this again. Here's my Ideas...Either ride around the SF Bay area on my bicycle(I really enjoy biking) and just meet new people see things I've never seen before. Or I was also considering trying to find a farm to work on for my time in the area and trade labor for a place to sleep. Not Sure.
Is this even possible?
I can see this failing miserably and me just ending up cold and alone on a park bench by the Golden Gate Bridge. But I also think it could be a positive life changing experience. | Bought plane ticket to San Francisco. I know no one. Will I end up dead if I attempt wander/bicycle the city alone for 5 days? |
t3_2cj2c4 | tifu | TIFU by getting into a taxi while being shitfaced | Got absolutely hammered at a party last night, and decided to crash at a friend. A taxi appears out of nowhere (this was not in a city), so me and my friends ask the driver if he wants to take us. He says sure, no prob, get in.
As I'm climbing in the backseat, I place my hand on the frame of the car between the 2 doors (right in the middle). My buddy, who got in the front seat, SLAMMED the door while my fingers were still on the frame. I could actually hear the lock of his door click, it was completely shut. It hurt. Badly.
The taxi driver starts moving the car, and my friends are drunkingly jabbering about the price of the ride. I speak up and say, completely calm: "X, can you open your door? My fingers are kinda stuck between them".
Everybody freaks out a bit, and I quickly pull my fingers out the door. They all ask if they are broken, and why the fuck I didn't scream when they got smashed. I keep checking my fingers, and after a sec or 20, I can move them again. I say I don't think they are broken, and we proceed to the house.
I sorta pass out once we are there, and the next morning my fingers appeared to be a bit bruised, but fine elsewise.
This was the same group of friends where I let somebody put the exact same hand on fire, and got burned badly too. I think I'm going to start wearing gloves when I go out with those guys. | Got my fingers between a car door which hurt like f*ck, but stayed supprisingly cool considering the pain. |
t3_fkyah | AskReddit | How do I get over the trauma of my first relationship? | I'm not talking about physical/violent trauma. I am a male, whose first relationship ended terribly. We dated for a year and a half, and the last third of the relationship was faked by me, because I didn't have the balls to break up with her, even though I had long since lost interest. I felt completely awful about not having broken up with her earlier, and it feels like I never really got over that.
I have been in one relationship in the 7 years since my first one, and it was a complete disaster, because I was questioning feelings that were legitimately there, in an attempt to avoid what happened my first relationship. I guess what I was trying to do was to make sure that I broke up with this girl as soon as I knew I wanted to, rather than leading her on for an extended period of time, like last time, so instead of enjoying the relationship, I constantly questioned my feelings.
Sorry for the stupid question, it's just that there's a girl with whom I share a mutual romantic interest, and there's a good chance that when she moves back into town, we're going to date, but I'm scared to death that I'll completely ruin it with my paranoia bullshit again.
Any help is immensely appreciated. | My first relationship sorta screwed up my ability to be in a happy relationship, and I'm trying to figure out how to get over that. |
t3_3zy17s | relationships | Please help! Wife threatening divorce - how to show her I love her? | My wife (29F) of 1.5 years and I (31M) have been having trouble since well before we got married. Long story with many twists and turns, most of it some version of me being a jerk or uncaring. I feel terrible about it and have tried to change, but I keeping sliding back into old habits. No infidelity, physical abuse or stuff like that. But various patterns of not caring about her or the relationship that have been wearing her down for years. She is convinced that I don't really love her, and has given me a deadline to make her feel loved or else she'll file for divorce.
She has made it crystal clear that just shaping up in how I treat her won't cut it (although I need to do that too). She requires something more, and honestly I don't really know what that would entail. I'm thinking of writing self-examining love letters, but that's a pretty pitiful attempt. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks! | Looking for advice. Trying to convince my wife I love her so that she won't divorce me and we can heal the relationship. |
t3_4pmi15 | tifu | TIFU By not wearing a shoe | This took place around 7 years ago and I still remember everything.
So, 7 years ago I was at my neighbour's pool party. I had forgotten my goggles at home. So I take my sandals and I put my feet like halfway through them and they also weren't strapped in. So I go to my house by exiting from their backyard and as I'm walking to the door, I kinda lift up my right foot, and then move it forward and some branch just gets through the area between my foot and the bottom of the sandal. So I get out of their backyard and notice there's a branch stuck in my sandals so I'm like no problem, I'll take it off. I take off my sandal and then I just can't remove the branch. I look at my foot, and the branch is literally stuck in my foot, there was a small bit of wood on the branch that got into my foot and now it was stuck in my foot. So I start hopping around like an idiot and then my dad takes me and makes me sit down in our backyard, takes off the branch and I'm just bleeding. The injury could've been way worse actually. Either way, I skipped the next week of school and had to do these disinfection methods to prevent it from getting even worse. | Didn't put my sandals on correctly, branch went between my foot and my sandal, small piece of the branch got stuck in my foot. |
t3_22aq1w | Advice | So my GF is going to college... | So my GF of 5 months will be attending College in the summer/early fall and I'm at a bit of a crossroad. She'll be about ~2 hours away given traffic and can't have her car on campus. On top of that I'm car-less and still have my senior year of high school ahead of me. I come to Reddit to ask because of the limited experience of people around me when it comes to things like this. She's a doll and we have fantasies of being able to live together when I go to the same college as her next year. (They're a good school for business which I intend to go for), but I'm nervous and to be honest unsure of what it would be like. She's a very mature girl for her age but I'm afraid that something may happen. My instinct is that if I wouldn't do it, then she wouldn't either but sadly the world doesn't work that way. I would be able to see her on the weekends and things of that nature until I can get a car because my friend often visits his friends so I can tag along.
People tell me "Oh don't do it she'll cheat on you" and that's a concern but at the same time not every human being enjoys being a piece of **** to someone they've been with for months. I'm conflicted and simply unsure of myself. The safe part of me wants to end it before she goes, but part of me wants to take a risk and hope that something amazing happens from it. I would never know if I didn't take the chance right? | GF going to college 2 hours away and I still have a year of HS left. Is it worth it considering we'll have been together for around 8 months by then. |
t3_fndjb | AskReddit | Retaliating boss. What should I do? | Recently I turned down an under the table project for a gambling site at my company and was retaliated against for doing so. A year ago my boss wanted me to make a website for his wife on the side but always called me into his office to speak about it; as a conflict of interest I quit the project halfway through.
Last month a project came up to make a gambling site for my boss's friend and I declined this as well to work on my own project. I launched my revamped online portfolio two days later and received a message from the company the next morning to remove the items I made while working for their company. It's obvious my boss saw the items in a sour mood and used his power against me. A year ago when I made the website for his wife I had the same items displayed but it wasn't a problem at that time....but now it is.
I filed a report for harassment and conflict of interest with emails from the boss asking me to bring in things so I can work on this outside job on company time, screenshots of the project on the company server, and other conversations that show harassment. Sadly the report came back with "we don't see this as a conflict of interest" from HR.
I'm not sure what I can do now or what I should do. The items have been removed from my website and the workplace has been very uncomfortable being around the management who was involved with the gambling site. I've been called an instigator and a "extreme troublemaker" and wonder what I should do from here.
Is it in my best interest to simply quit or tough it out? I'm not sure how this situation could be corrected and if it's worth getting a lawyer for. Your thoughts? | Declined under the table projects at work; boss gets mad and makes me remove 2 years of art from my portfolio. |
t3_2f4d3v | relationships | Me [23 M] broken up by ex [35 F] 3 months - 2 months since we broke up, I go away travelling though want to make her a film. Should I? | I went out with a woman for 3 months , 2 months ago today. She said she didn't want be in a relationship at the moment because of her situation with work and lifestyle.
Since there was nothing really holding me back I decided to go travelling for the year. we're still friends though agreed to catch up when I get back.
She really loves cats and told me about Cat island in Japan.
I know we're not seeing each other at the moment. Though I still like her, I thought when I visit Japan I could make a short film about the cat islands for her. I don't expect anything in return though it could be a way of showing that she means a lot to me.
Should I make the film for her and see how thing are when I get back? | Got broken up by friend, 2 months have past. I still like her. Going travelling, would like to make a film while I'm there for her specifically on cats (she loves cats). Should I? |
t3_4cneh9 | relationships | My [24 M] managers have changed my job role and hours without telling me. How do I face the situation properly? | I'm not sure this was the right place to ask this, but I hope you guys can help.
I've recently began working in retail. I've been at my store for 3 months and was very happy with my position. I've enjoyed my role and feel I fit perfectly.
A few days ago I was offered the chance to switch my role in the store. I was offered a week trial to see if I got on with it, and also offered the chance to think about it before making a decision.
Today I found out from a friend that my role and rota has completely changed, without me giving my decision (which was leaning towards not changing) and at very short notice. It changes from next week onwards. The amount of hours is fine, it's just frustrating that my regular shifts are at different times, and I don't want to change my role.
I'm not sure whether or not the managers have the right to do this without telling me or giving me a say, but I feel I've been deceived and don't feel it's fair. It certainly hasn't improved my confidence in the management.
How can I confront this? I've never been a confrontational person but I think something needs to be said. What is the best way to go about this, with the best chance of maintaining my original role?
Thanks! | Managers changed my job role and rota without informing me, what is the best way to confront the issue with them? |
t3_26v56d | relationships | Me [22M] with my friend [23F] (friends for about 8 years), I don't really know how to support her with her weight depression. | First off, I am overweight. I've always had a problem with my weight, and over the last 6 years I've gone from normal weight to obese and back many times. But I digress.
My friend (Tarquin) is currently revising for her final exams and is under immense stress. Being at home all day and stressing is causing her to eat more than normal and she is gaining weight.
Now, she is a small girl; even now she's gained weight she is still in the normal weight section of BMI. She's always had body dimorphism; she used to be anorexic and then she was bulimic, but she finally has overcome that and was happy with her body at the lowest normal weight BMI.
I'm of the mind that the weight she has gained is a temporary problem and it will come off again when her exams are finished, especially as she will have a job which involves being on her feet all day, and she should work on maintaining the weight. She doesn't need the added stress of trying to lose the weight while also stressing about her exams. However she insists she can't possibly be happy at her weight and is making her stress out more.
I don't know how to help her. I don't think it helps for me to point out that she still looks great at her current weight and that she is objectively not fat, especially coming from an overweight person. I've told her this many times nonetheless. I try to go all strategic and say that she shouldn't worry about it until post exams but this seems to irritate her. She very often vents to me about her weight, and I just don't know what to say to her in response. To be honest her saying she's unbearably fat when she is a lot thinner than me is starting to hurt my feelings too.
So Reddit, how would you recommend I support her? I'm particularly interested in the viewpoint of girls who feel overweight but aren't. | My thin friend thinks she is fat and is making her depressed. She vents to me about it and I don't know what to say in response. |
t3_23y03u | dating_advice | Thank you, Redditors of dating_advice! | From watching all the advice and the succes stories mainly, I summoned the courage to ask a girl I like out - she accepted without hesitation, and we're now going to ice skate and go to a wonderful Indian restaurant next week!
I really like her, so I hope everything goes well. Thanks everyone, this subforum is surely great! | Girl I really like turned me down a month ago, because she wasn't ready for a boyfriend. A decided to stick around as a friend, because I like her, and we're now together! Hooray! |
t3_wse46 | AskReddit | I'm addicted to my local PBS station and a hilarious show called California's Gold with Huell Howser. It has somehow managed to air for 19 years. What is a genuinely great (or so bad it's good) public TV show, only available in your area or state, that the rest of the world needs to know about? | During summer break I started watching public television and I'm now addicted. So many great shows (with few commercials!) like America's Test Kitchen, Baking with Julia Child, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross, Rick Steve's Europe, and Globe Trekker.
I found that my favorites are local shows (on KQED Northern California) that I never knew existed such as Spark and Quest that profile local history, events, scientists, and artists.
A few days ago I spit my soda all over my coffee table while watching
California's Gold with Huell Howser. He has a childlike sense of wonder and is easily distracted. [Here is a 30 second clip that shows how absurd this program is.] This show has been on for over 19 years. | There is a California public television travel show hosted by an old guy from Tennessee. [The show is so bad it's amazing.] I want to hear about interesting or absurd public television shows from other areas. |
t3_1wglof | relationships | Me [24F] with my SO [24 M] 1 yr. suspicious behavior. Checked phone and am unsettled. | Ok so my boyfriend is one that takes his phone every where. It was revealed to me that he had been liking every photo and post on some girls Facebook. Wasn't bothered. But I knew that she would send him texts because I've been next to him when she has. Anyways, this morning it got the best of me and I looked at his messages. I know I violated his trust by looking, but there it was. This girl saying "hey I'm
Horny". All other conversation history having been deleted. Also saw that there was a snapchat history between the two. I'm so confused.
I think what unnerves me the most is that all the other conversations had been deleted as if something needed to be hidden. So I'm sure of the nature of the other messages or his responses, but why delete them if you didn't feed into it? I'm literally feeling sick to my stomach. I want to come clean and admit to going through the messages. I'm not sure how to bring it up. I feel like we can work through this if everything is put out into the open. I just don't want to be lied to. Do I bring it up or walk? | suspected bf was cheating found message from girl telling him she was horny along with snapchat history from her. Talk to him or walk? |
t3_qjzxh | dating_advice | [22M] New to the whole online dating initiation thing, could use some advice | So I've had a online dating accounts on various sites, and I've never found anyone that has seemed like they'd click well with me. That is until recently. Found someone that seems extremely down to earth, and I would really like to meet her. Even if she ends up not being interested, and we just become friends that's fine with me. My predicament, is that she doesn't reply much to be able to get to know her to well, and on the bottom of her profile it says "looking for friends"(though, I tend to question the validity of that claim on a dating site).
My Question would be what would be the best way to show the initiative that I'd like to meet her. Should I ask for her number? Should I just ask her if she'd like to hang out sometime?
Side note; I think I may have met her once when I was ordering a drink at the Starbucks she worked at, and we talked about a mutually loved band and a concert that we both apparently went to(If it is the same girl). Would it be weird if I brought that up? My fear has been that it would seem stalker-ish =\ | New to actually conversing with people on dating sites. Not sure what exactly I should be doing to take it from the "Talking online" step. |
t3_4dx6ys | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [25 F] of 4 years. Our relationship is pretty great, but I'm not sure if we should stay together. | My GF and I have have been together for about 4 years, and living together for about half of that. Since day 1 things have been pretty great, and for the most part they still are. We almost never argue and we've never had a real 'fight'.
She is kind, and sweet, and attractive and really I'm not sure what else I would ask for.
That being said, I'm not sure if I see myself marrying her. While our relationship is great, we are both introverted and enjoy having lots of quiet time, which is great but it also means that we have a hard time finding the motivation to go out and do things with other people. When one of us feels like going out, the other just isn't feeling up to it and vice versa.
My girlfriend has a small group of friends in the area, but I started dating her shortly after I moved to the area and don't really have a friend group of my own here, which adds to the issue.
Another issue is work - we both have great jobs but they both involve long work hours, and they are in opposite directions of each other from where we live. She has a little over 2 hours of commuting each day, and I'm sitting closer to 4 hours/day. The combination of long hours and a long commute means I get very little time at home and when I am home, and when I am home I'm tired as hell.
Our lease is up in a few weeks and we are set to re-sign for another 2 years and I'm a bit worried.
I don't want to break up with her, and I definitely don't want to hurt her, but I'm also not sure I want to stay with her. | Have a great relationship with my GF, but concerned that its more about comfort and not sure if I see myself marrying her. Lease is coming up soon and not sure what to do. |
t3_2gjhyg | tifu | TIFU by letting down my dad. | So to start things off, my dad is my idol, he's strong, funny, generous, successful, happy, grateful, smart, and can make the best decisions in the worst of times. I know my dad isn't perfect, he has done some things, we all have and he realizes I won't he perfect either, and my entire family is Mormon, born into it and I believe in what we believe, but that doesn't mean I can't rebel from time to time (16 male). I'm not sheltered too much, so I have friends who do drugs, have sex and party. Anyways, I was at my friends house and he smokes weed (respectively) and I flat out say, can I try that, being as curious as I was/am. I didn't regret it, I love smoking, it lets me express my highly energetic self with friends doing it with me. But that all change, It's like it hit me, I know that I'm not feeling bad because I broke the word of wisdom (for those who don't know what that is, it's basically "your body is a temple so take care of it"), but because I let my dad down. My dad has put so much trust into me, we do a lot of things together, he is honestly my best friend, and like I said he doesn't expect me to he perfect, but smoking is an extreme violation to our rules. And now I really want to tell him that I've made a mistake and I know it's frowned upon, but I don't find it bad enough to stop, (and I don't mean that In a addictive way). I feel like my friend ship will never be the same with my dad, and it would crush me to see someone I care about shun me. :( I'm so lost. | I started smoking weed, love it, but it would make my dad feel like he failed at raising me, and it would kill me seeing him like that. |
t3_18d7wj | relationships | Guy (m22) I (f22) have been seeing for a few months all but stopped going anywhere near me in person. | Said guy and I became friends through another friend a few semesters ago and started dating each other around October. We all go to the same college. He abruptly stopped inviting me over/accepting invitations to my place about two weeks ago, but still texts me fairly often and gets lunch with me a couple times a week. We never actually established if we were dating, and the recent development of "we're probably not" is starting to hurt like hell. Not sure what's going on in his head or what I should actually think about this. Mutual friend is not helpful since they had a falling out over a group project, and mutual friend just chocks it up to him being a closeted bastard.
I had a few bad incidents that probably turned him off (got alcohol poisoning and he wound up saving me at the start this, had a couple bad anxiety attacks that resulted in me not being a fun person a week later). As far as I know though, he hasn't had much homework keeping him busy, because he's in one class and always doing nonschool things when we're texting.
I'd talk to him about it, but he started going to bed ridiculously early (before 10pm, when I get out of work) and I don't have a schedule that allows me to see him during the day. On weekends he's been booked up with other stuff to do (recent development this semester... he hardly left his room previous semesters). Is there any good way I can deal with this aside from just accepting he lost interest? | Guy I was seeing stopped wanting to be around me inexplicably. Since he is never around I have no good way of asking if he's even still interested in me. |
t3_30h2eu | tifu | TIFU by mixing up my feelings about girls. | Obligatory this has happened over the course of the last week.
I'm a university student (male) who spends a lot of time with a group of four girls on my floor. It's important to note I'm a bit of a wild card- a little reckless, a little ruthless, but a good kid nonetheless.
I developed feelings over the year for a girl who's amazing-genuine, kind, just a good person. We'll call her Zoe. She makes me want to be a better person. Zoe doesn't go out much, but she is fun-she just is mature. She is one of the four, and the other three know about my feelings. However, my closest friend of the four is the one we'll call Sally.
Sally is more like me-goes out, parties, lives a little more dangerously.
I've talked to Sally about Zoe multiple times, and just last week I set up Sally with a friend of mine. I figured it would be nice of me. This is the fuck up.
Cue Tuesday, i'm in the city with friends, including Sally. I realized that I had been getting jealous over Sally's relationship with my friend, and after some prodding from her I admit to it. She ends up berating me for it, and says how she "would have fucked with me" (I guess dated/hooked up?) if I wasn't going after Zoe the whole time. She basically just wanted the satisfaction of knowing I did like her before she moved on is what it seems.
Cue Saturday, my friend and I go back to my place, and he sleeps with Sally. They've slept with each other multiple times since then, and now I'm sitting here at 5 a.m. while Sally fucks my friend and I have no idea how Zoe feels about me.
For those who think I'm an asshole for chasing two girls, I'm honestly just a teenager whose confused about his feelings. One is just like me, the other brings out the best in me. judge me. | wanted one girl, her friend wanted my friend, they fucked after I admitted to being jealous, now caught between two women with no woman. |
t3_12xcoc | AskReddit | One of the few buildings left in the Lower East Side without electricity (poor building management). What can I do to expedite the process? | Hey Reddit,
I am currently a resident at Knickerbocker Village in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. I am a college student who needs his computer to do schoolwork and study. I could also be an elderly who has trouble going down the stairs to buy food. I could be disabled in a wheelchair and require the assistance of machines to keep me alive. Knickerbocker village has over 700 residents over the age of 60.
At Knickerbocker Village, we are one of the few buildings in the lower east side that still do not have electricity. Let's not even talk about heat and hot water; we do not even have electricity. Our building management has been horrible to us. They did not update us with information regarding their process of restoring power back to us. Maybe they are afraid of the backlash from the community. But this does not give them the right to deny us basic information that pertains to us. They even went as far to demand that we pay this month's rent on time. Our management's refusal to turn off the electrical grid two hours before Sandy hit us cost us dearly. Our management's refusal to spend more money to purchase larger pumps and more contractors is killing us.
Today, we had our first death. An elderly died in Knickerbocker because her oxygen machine failed on her and she had no way of going down from the 10th floor and no way of contacting anyone in the vicinity. How many more cold, lifeless, and dark days and nights must we go through before help comes to us?
The situation has become bleak. We are in dire need of someone who could help us. My neighbors and I need to do something to put pressure on our building management to expedite the process.
But what can we do? | Live in Lower Manhattan, one of the few buildings left without electricity. Shitty management team is slow and cheap. What do? |
t3_3e13v4 | tifu | TIFU by asking a panhandler if he really meant Tuesday | I went to pick up an iced coffee at my local Dunkin Donuts. As I was driving away and about to then onto the connecting street, I stopped to let a man proceed across my path on the sidewalk. He flagged me down as if to ask me a question, so I waited for him to approach.
At this point, it's important to share that this is an area with a bunch of fast food places nearby. The Dunkin Donuts is next door to a Burger King.
So the man says "I'm starving! Can you spare me a dollar for a hamburger? I'll pay you back next Monday for a hamburger today." For people of a certain age, that last sentence is recognizable as being almost exactly what the character J. Wellington Wimpy says when he's scamming people for burgers in the Popeye cartoons (I looked up the name - I just call him the hamburger guy). Wimpy always offers to pay back on a Tuesday, however. I know this because I always used to say that is "gladly pay you back on Tuesday for a hamburger today" when I wanted my Mom to make me a burger for dinner.
So I reached into my pocket to get a dollar to give to the man, saying "Are you sure you don't mean you'll pay me back on Tuesday." He was somewhere between 40 and 60, so I figured he'd get the reference...
His response? "Are you calling me a liar, you fucking prick? You don't have to give me the dollar, but don't try humiliating me for being poor. What an asshole!" Then he starts pointing to my car, yelling "This guy is an asshole, folks...he think (sic) he better than me!" No crowd started forming, but from the honks he was clearly attracting some attention to us. At least 4 or 5 people stopped walking past on the sidewalk, one of who was a worker at the Dunkin Donuts I had just left and where I go almost every day.
I silently handed him a five and hightailed it out of there. I still feel bad I insulted him and hope I don't get spit in my coffee tomorrow. :-/ | J. Wellington Wimpy tried shaking me down for a buck, then shamed me publicly when I pointed out he wasn't following the script. |
t3_4045nh | relationships | Me [17M, Junior] with my crush [15F, Freshman] holding off on asking her out due to worries over creepiness | Not really worried if she likes me or not. I'm really bad at reading people so if she rejects me, I'll get over it. My main worry is if its creepy for a junior to date a freshman. I mentioned it online to some of my online friends and one of my friends jokingly said it would be creepy, though he wasn't being serious though on Monday one of my aquantances (Who I no-longer talk to due to issues like this and other problems) said it would be statutory rape for me to date her. So I am worried that if I ask her out and she says yes, I'll be viewed as a predatory creep for dating her. | I like a girl and I don't know if I should ask her out due to grade difference making it predatory and creepy to date her. |
t3_2vs70m | relationships | Me 24M with my 25F fiancé of 6 months. I saw something I didn't want to see and it may end the relationship. | We were dating 14 months and have been engaged for another 6. We fell in love pretty quickly and the relationship has been great.
Her nephew needed a new phone so she was going to give him her old one. She got it out and put it on the charger before work one day. The password was 1244 which is the same as what she has now but I've never went through it. It turns out she never deleted any of her text messages. I started reading them and the first thing I realized was she had a lot more sexual partners than I realized. She never told me a number different from that because I never asked and its something I don't like thinking about. I wasn't happy and it did make me think a little less of her but I kept on reading.
I knew she smoked weed in the past and that didn't bother me because I did in high school. I started looking at one thread of messages and it started by her asking someone if they had any weed (drug dealer I'm guessing). She asked how much and he told her the price. She said she was broke but they might be able to work something out. About 5 hours later she received a message saying "if I knew you could deep throat like that I would have been giving you free weed a long time ago." She replied "lol." I scrolled down and it turns out this arrangement happened a few more times but sex was involved.
I was absolutely disgusted that she did something like that.
This was about a week ago. Since then she has noticed something has been wrong with me. This happened a couple months before we met but it is still deeply upsetting. I can still hardly look at her and have been almosy repusled the times we have kissed since I saw it. I don't know if this is something I will ever able to forget or get over. | went through fiancés old phone. Found out she used to trade her body in exchange for drugs a couple months before we met. |
t3_q6h0a | AskReddit | A girl just pretended to be lesbian at a party to not dance with me, what should I do? | Hello reddit. Honestly I'm drunk right now, this is little more than a pity post; but I am really pissed about this (not about necessarily the act, but the principle behind it). A girl just pretended to be lesbian and then danced with a multitude of guys at a party... just to avoid dancing with me. People all the time at parties tell me that I'm awesome... but I still haven't even left a party with a girl since coming to college in the first place. I haven't even kissed a girl since High School. I know this is the wrong place to go to ask a question like this, but the situation is really bothering me.
Honestly what should I do? | I'm a straight college male who apparently dances awesome yet cannot get laid and bitches pretend to be lesbian to avoid being with me, what do? |
t3_j2rcw | self | Please help me choose a song that demonstrates my vocal range for my first voice lesson! | On Saturday I'll be taking my first-ever vocal lesson. The instructor told me to bring in sheet music for a song I want to sing, to give him an idea of my range/ ability/ etc. I'm having trouble choosing one because I don't know if it should be a well-known song. I know he can read sheet music, obviously, but I don't know if it'd be easier for him if I sing a song he recognizes by ear.
I also don't know how to classify myself as a singer, so I don't know if a Google search should be "songs for (sopranos/ mezzo sopranos/ etc)." A couple of songs that represent my range are:
[Josephine's Foster's "Silly Song"](
[Portishead's "Deep Water"](
I am female and 25 years old. I would say I feel most comfortable singing fairly high notes, and that's the extent of how I know to classify myself. :/
My question is: would it be ok to sing either of the above songs, considering they're fairly obscure, or are there songs in the same range that you think would be better?
Thanks in advance for any advice. I'm sure I'm making too big a deal out of this, but I'm brand new to this whole scene and I'm scared of doing it wrong! :| | Need to sing a song at my first vocal lesson to demonstrate my range/ability, does it need to be a well-known song? |
t3_50q0p8 | personalfinance | Getting Back Pay from Employer | I signed a contract for the new school year in April. A week before the new year, I was given a new contract and asked to take on an extra class. Because I am now teaching six classes instead of five, this came with an appropriate 20% raise to my contract.
I began work August 10th teacher. We were told that because the contract change was last minute, it would not be reflected in the first check. That's fine. HR told us we would receive back pay with the next check.
Now, we are being told that our back pay is being spread out over the rest of our checks. Can they really do that? It feels shady. If I already put in the hour, how can they withold my pay from me? I live in the US in Arizona. | owed back pay by employer. Was told instead of lump sum, it would be spread over remaining checks. Is this legal? |
t3_15oaf3 | relationship_advice | GF Cheated on me, having trouble deciding what to do. | gf [23/F] cheated on me [22/M], dated for 3 years
we were both super busy and she was telling me that I didnt woe her anymore. Specifically she said, buy her cute things or take her on cute dates. In my defense I was starting my senior year in engineering, heavily involved in my fraternity, working 25 hours a week. She was studying for the medical school entrance exam, school full time, working 25 hours a week and living with her super strick parents 30 min away(curfew, no sleep overs...) There just wasnt alot of time for us during that period and she didnt have the attention she needed from me.
We went through a rough patch and she would break up with me saying she needs time and then get back with me and would do it a couple times here and there. We were back together and she made out with a guy then a couple days later she calls me and says that she doesnt know what she wants right now. (thats all I got, no hey we need to break up in person) It was shitty how it was over the phone.
In that week she makes out with him 2 more times and they have sex. She then wants me back and leads me along for 2 weeks (I was clueless). I found out from her. She wasnt being completely truthful though and I felt like I had to be the interrogator. essentially she wouldnt tell me unless I asked her the specific question.
It was exhausting and I decided to just cut all contact with her. She begged and begged for me back. Was even being a bit manipulative. I miss her terribly and have been super depressed. I havent talked to her in over 2 months. My friends tell me she is a wreck. I dont know what to do. I just know im sad, I miss her but I am so insulted by what she did. | Gf cheated on me for 2 weeks with some dude, wanted me back and I couldnt do it. Super sad and dont know what to do. |
t3_ujc4q | dating_advice | Where are we? | So my recent ex-girlfriend (16) broke up with me (17) about 3 weeks ago. She's the kind of girl who really makes an effort to maintain the friendship between her exes. She's still close friends with her ex she was in a relationship for a year prior to me. When we were dating it bothered me and it still kind of does. She's assured me that she only looks at him as a friend but I'll always be leery.
But anyways, she broke things off and told me that she just wasn't ready for a one-on-one relationship. So about a few days after she broke it off we talked about all that and we're still close friends. It's very obvious that I'm still very much attracted to her and have feelings for her and she is definitely aware of it. We still talk a lot and she's confided to me certain things she is discovering about herself sexually. I'm always gonna be supportive and a close friend but it kills me that I can't be affectionate or sweet to her.
It almost feels like we're still together, minus physical contact and mushy lovebird behavior. At least to me it feels that way. I talked to her about what she considers me now and she said I'm a close friend. Recently she even asked me for an erotic story. I would write them to her a lot when we were together. We're very close friends and we tell eachother practically anything but I still can't help my lingering feelings and desires towards her. She hasn't said anything on how she feels about me now.
She's made it clear she's attracted to me but after she told me it was left at that. We even have days planned where we'll go see movies or go to the amusement park together. So ladies and gents of Reddit, where do you think we're at? I know nothing is ever certain in this and that I should just talk to her but I want to know what you guys and gals think of my situation and if you could give any advice. Thank you for taking your time to read this. | Ex-girlfriend and I still hit it off and we're very close. Where are we in terms of relationship material? |
t3_1xt6u2 | relationships | Me [27 /F] had a brief but intense relationship with [32/m]. I really need not to get back with him but can't let go of him. I'm a mess. | I never fell so hard for a guy before. I had a crush on him for years before asking him out.
It was going great and we had a really really good time, we could have sex for hours, cuddle, have the best conversations and repeat without ever getting tired of each other. It's the happiest I have ever been in my sad little life.
After the first time we picked a fight (I don't remember what it was about something silly) I knew he could be violent. I brushed it off, told myself he was just being overly dramatic and demonstrative when he was angry... But of course it only got worse with time. Last time we picked a fight I got really scared for my safety. I told him to leave and not come back.
I'm heartbroken.
I know I can't be with someone like him.
I can't imagine not being with him anymore.
I feel sick, this never happened to me before, I never got so depressed about having to get someone out of my life.
The only other relationship I had before him was over before the break up so I wasn't sad when it ended... But now I'm demolished. I'm sure if he apologized I'd run back to him.
How the hell do I pick myself up and move on? How can someone be so loving, interesting and make you feel safe one minute and turn into a psychopath the next? | Was in love for the first time, with an amazing guy who turned out to be violent and I can't move on, I feel sick, I need help. |
t3_3z1p58 | relationships | My [23 M] Girlfriend [21/F] of two years whom I'm very much in love with has a sexual history that I can't cope with. | I've been in a committed relationship for two years and I thought one day I would be able to get over her sexual past, but I don't think I can. Who she's done, what she's done, how many -- it all gets to me.
Every guy she's had sex with before me is really jacked and good looking, which is an indicator to me that she doesn't find my body type attractive and that she's using me. I don't want to be the kind of guy who gets called "hubby" and gets cheated on because he doesn't have the self esteem to keep his gf/wife into him. I can't be that guy. | My girlfriend had a past, I didn't, and it's killing my self esteem. The guys she were with before were fit unlike me and I think she's just using me and isn't attracted to me. What do? |
t3_32on7o | Parenting | Advice Needed: My 9 year old son constantly is afraid of breaking boards in tae kwan do, but easily succeeds each time and loves it afterwards. I can't get him to get over his fear that he has physically conquered already. | Dad here: So my son is 9, small for his age, and not very athletic. He is however, a Jr. black belt in tae kwan do and has worked hard at it for over 3 years. He has to break a board as part of the test and is given 2 board choices. 1 board is as thin as a pencil and as big as a piece of paper. The other is about as thick as a thumb and the size of an average envelope. They have him try on the thicker one, but eventually move to the thin one and just place it up higher when breaking. Here is where the problem is. The same thing happens over and over again before every belt test. He gets very anxious about the board breaking and the night before he always screams he wants to quit.
The frustration on my part is that when we practice with a kicking pad, he nearly knocks it out of my hand with his strength. He has no problem generating enough power to break 2-3 thicker boards stacked together. However, the second I bring the board out he holds back or goes through the motion and misses intentionally. He won't give me a straight answer why and I explain I'm not mad, I just want to help.
Here is where it gets even more frustrating. The day of the test comes around and he tries it with the thin board and brakes it with ease on the first try. (seriously these boards will break if you look at them wrong). After that he loves Tae Kwan do and says he will be in it for life. Also, his masters and I have both tried this. We have the pad out and as he kicks we quickly change it to the thick board and he smashes right through it no problem. He even says it didn't hurt and he is so proud of himself. Still, if we take another thick board out he goes back to his missing on purpose and then wanting to quit.
It's frustrating and I was wondering if anyone had any advice. | My son is afraid of breaking boards in tae kwan do, yet has all the ability to easily break them and eventually does with ease, but still has a fear the next time around. |
t3_17re1d | relationships | I(30m) am not sure we'd have a good future with her(28f) because of our vastly varied interests. | We have been seeing each other since last 4 months. I like her a lot and she loves me. This has been the closest relationship I've had among others(emotionally and physically). Among other relationships, I used to be in love with the girl, here I do not have that feeling(yet). So we've keep seeing each other. She thinks that we'd have a good relationship together, but I doubt because we have vastly different interests. I am someone who loves active lifestyle like sports, dance, and loud music. But I do not talk much(unless I'm drunk). She's more of a social person, caring, loving, talks much more than I do and she does not like loud music, and not into sports or dancing.
We're Indians. She's under pressure from her parents to get married and her mom keeps asking her to see guys(for arranged marriage). But she does not like that and keeps having arguments with her parents. I have told her several times to go ahead and see other guys. But she denies and says that she wants me and cannot think of anyone else. I do not have a heart to break off from her simply because I do not feel the same way she does. At this point, I am not sure if we should continue seeing or make her clear that it would not work out.
Please advice. | I like her, she loves me. We're two different individuals, but we enjoy each-others company. I'm not sure if the relationship works long term because of our differences. She thinks it will. |
t3_4njj21 | relationships | How do I [17F] break things off with my friend [m] and when? | hello! so i have been in a kind of relationship type thing (kinda like exclusive friends with benefit) since like last fall and I really liked it, the guy I am with is nice and fun to spend time with and stuff, but we haven't seen each other in like 4 months at this point.
we used to hang out a lot, but for some reason we just haven't recently. sometimes we plan stuff but he has ended up not being able to make it when the time comes, which is totally cool and I understand, but after it has happened like 10 times in a row over the past few months I'm afraid he might be trying to give a hint or want to cut things off but I am terrible at confrontation. and also, he even made plans sometimes, too, which confuses me.
he's usually pretty busy and we are a bit far so it could all be chance, but i don't know. i try not to let it affect me, but im down to like 2 or 3 friends that i can actually talk to and things aren't great and eventually I just feel really alone, most people in my life don't even like me. I try not to seem clingy or weird with the relationships I have but its hard sometimes
I'm also going off to college soon so i probably want to break up (on good terms) anyways just because distance will make it impossible.
How do I break things off without seeming cold or mean? | haven't seen partner in months, think he might be losing interest but unsure, and leaving for college. how and when should I break up? |
t3_3nl818 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of about a month - seriously tempted to sext the ex... | I have a new bf. He's incredible. But we just don't seem to gel in the sack. I feel pretty confident we may in time, but our sexual styles are really different. In the meantime, I'm left really frustrated and seriously tempted to sext an ex that I'm still pretty good friends with and had AMAZING chemistry with.
Do I know this is bad? Of course. Am I abstaining? Of course. Like I said, I really like the guy. But my question is this /relationships - this relationship is new, and there has already been some push back when I brought it up gently before. So, in the spirit of honesty and disclosure should I tell him I'm really frustrated despite the fact that we are really new? Or take it as a sign that maybe we're just not that compatible? | new relationship, frustrated in the physical intimacy department - attempted to talk about it to no avail. Take these feelings as a sign we're not compatible or really try to talk it out? |
t3_17k4nu | relationships | How can I [21M] deal with being in an ambiguous friendzone with my ex [21F]? | My ex girlfriend [21F] and I [21M] had been friends since the first years of University but lost contact. When we met again in our final years, we ended up hooking up for a few weeks and then turning it into a relationship.
Both she and I had relationship issues before, her with an inattentive long term boyfriend (1 1/2 years) and me with a sexless frustrating girlfriend (11 months). We dated for three months and recently she decided that we needed to break up.
It was the classic "it's not you it's me" situation: she wants time to be single and alone for the last months of Uni, due to us getting together so soon after her previous relationship (about seven weeks after) and her wanting to sort her head out before she looks for jobs etc.
I agreed to be friends with her, as I had developed strong feelings for her in a non-sexual way as well as sexual, and thought it would be best that she wasn't just ejected from my life. However, I'm finding it tough fitting into this role, especially since she used ambiguous terms while breaking up with me, which included "you're the nicest guy I've dated, I feel stupid for doing this" "I don't know why I'm doing this" and numerous mentions about "probably" regretting it in a few weeks time.
So thanks to these mindgames when we stated speaking again a few days later (in a fantastic breaking of the No Contact rule) I'm finding it hard to detach from the "boyfriend" mentality.
So my question is how do I deal with this? Attempt to be aloof on things like text, facebook chat etc? She's inside my head a little and I don't know how to stop me feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing, which pretty much makes the friendship we agreed on very one sided. | My ex girlfriend wants to be friends but is playing mind games, making it hard for me to get back into the mindset of just being friends |
t3_uwvdk | AskReddit | Redditors with basic first aid certificates. Have you used your rudimentary training in an emergency situation? Were you confident that you were doing the right thing? | I ask this because I recently god my paediatric first aid certificate, which technically doesn't cover adults, but effectively is the same thing. Well coming out of the 2 days course I felt really confident in my ability to assist someone on a sort of first point of contact level.
However, a few weeks later, I had my headphones on but I turned around and saw a man laying on the middle of the supermarket, and people surrounding him. Out of respect I didn't gawk and figured he was getting help. It wasn't until I walked away I got this sickening thought "F*** I am trained to help that guy and I completely forgot I had to ability to do so". That's not to say I could have been more help than anyone else there, but who knows I MIGHT have been. Being that I've never helped in that situation my natural reaction was just "don't stare at the poor bloke".
I learned a huge lesson that day which I hope will allow me to know what to do if it happens again.
It turns out he was ok, because I did go back, albeit a while later. | I have a first aid cert. and didn't use when I could because my natural instinct was that I couldn't help. |
t3_22zhpv | relationship_advice | Am I [18f] being manipulated in my relationship with my boyfriend[19m]? | So, I'm in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend of going on 6 months (Good friends with for over a year). We have disagreements but don't fight, but one disagreement I was a bit meh with and told my girl friends about. I would very much love to get nipple piercings, tongue split, genital piercings, etc. but he just is not into it at all and said I shouldn't. Ok fair enough.
Now, I'm also very happy to cook for him whenever he comes over and I'm more than happy to bake cakes and other sweets for him to bring to him about every other time I go over his house (so every other week or so). I make a point to gush to them over the things I bake and put photos on facebook. I haven't heard anything negative from them aside from one comment on how "lol you're like a housewife"
Friends say to my face that the whole piercing thing and tongue splitting sucks and that he shouldn't say that, but I'm over it. Mulling it over, I don't want them after all and I don't bring up the subject again.
Here's where it gets ridiculous. I hear from a good trusted friend that they're talking behind my back about how my boyfriend is being manipulative and abusive by telling me what I can't do and that I need to stop "pampering" him. That I, as a Native American/Black woman am being oppressed by my white boyfriend and it's disgusting them. I don't even know.
The boyfriend has been nothing but a gentleman, very chivalrous, treating me, and giving me thoughtful gifts and all that jazz. Now maybe I'm just stupid, but I don't think there's anything wrong here. I told my boyfriend and he seemed a bit distraught. Do I just stop telling my friends everything and confront them, or drop it? Do I stop what I'm doing for the bf because I'm somehow being manipulated? | Friends think my white boyfriend is manipulating and oppressing native american/black me by telling me no body mods and enjoying my cooking/baking. |
t3_4mj3to | relationships | Me [31M] with my wife [31F] of 5 years, lying to me. | My wife said she was visiting her Aunts house on the 2nd anniversary of my wifes mothers death.
I got home late that night, but tried to call her to no answer, just phone ringing out, so I tried her Aunt. Aunt said wife wasnt there, never hand any plans etc. etc.
Im thinking back a few year when she had kissed another guy but apologised and so on, we had some major talks after that and I had thought all was well.
Anyway, Im not proud of this, but I check her email to see if theres anything there. Something from snapchat which she claims she doesnt use, I use it with the guys at work and tried to get her to join.
Anyway, again not proud, but she uses the same password for everything so I just sign into her snapchat and theres this guy with over 100 streak. He has a snap on his story and its this guy (I assume) with my wife hugging him from behind, and a caption saying somthing like "lets start this weekend" or something.
So im pretty hurt. I dont know what to do.
I want to wait til she out and change the locks. | I have evidence that my wife is lying to me to spend time with another man. I dont know what to do. |
t3_1593ir | relationships | What do I do now? | I've(27y) been seeing this guy(26y) for about two months. We've been talking and hanging out pretty much nonstop at our grad school and are now home for the holidays. We went out on a date once, but for the most part, because of study schedules, ended up hanging out more at either one of our apartments. Now that we're home, we've been texting and I've started to get the feeling that I've missed something. I wont be returning to school since I've graduated and he has to return for one more semester. We live about an hour from each other so it wouldn't be very hard to meet up. After having talked about it, we had decided to try and continue seeing each other over the holidays and see where to go from there. However, this past week after some jokes that seemed to go a bit too far, I asked him upfront if he was interested in continuing to see me and he said "I don't know." At this point, after two months of constant talking and hanging out, is that a clear indication for me to end things? He told me he likes hanging out and talking to me, but he's never been in a relationship before and he's not sure what answer to give me. I don't know what to do now because I had stopped talking to other guys for him. I'd tried very hard not to like him in the beginning, but I do now and I have no clue what to do. Help. | Guy I've been seeing for two months in grad school, after telling me he wants to hang out over the holidays, now seems to be changing his mind. |
t3_3iffuk | relationship_advice | [18/M] Trying to stay with GF [17/F] after moving to find work. | I recently graduated high school from a small town. In that school, I met the girl I have truly fallen in love with. She's two years younger than myself, so she obviously hasn't graduated. When I graduated, I moved toward a larger city in hopes of finding a job easier.
During our year and a half going to school together, we spent almost every day together. We really, really connected well, like more than most of my friends. We would always hang out at her house, since I lived out of town a ways, smoking weed together, cuddles, helping each other with school and life, and just always, always being together.
It was a long time before we even had an arguement, and it has never been screaming, yelling fights, and I only see that as a positive sign. We respect each other well, see eye to eye on a lot of things, and see each other as the one we want to be with.
Fast forward to today, and I'm constantly more than 20 miles away from her, working a lot, but with not much income, no car (niether does she), and I can't help but feel like I ditched her. She has two years left of high school and we both told each other, with no to very little pressure from other, that we are going to make it last.
I try to make it happen that we see each other as often as possible, but its really costly to go 20 miles north to her and then 40 miles back to my job (I live between the two towns, working another job). Thusly, its really difficult to spend time together, especially since I dont always have a place to stay with her, plus the cost of keeping us both fed.
You may say breaking up is the best option, and I'm not saying you're wrong, but I would feel like the worst person if I ditched her and dumped her. I am heavily considering moving back to the town shes at, but finding a job there has proven to be difficult.
I'm just looking for ideas or hopeful things to help us get through this. Thanks so much for your help! | GF and I are miles apart, see each other rarely, and are still commited. Asking for help to keep our head up through this tough time. |
t3_146k31 | relationship_advice | [18/f] I don't know how to handle mixed messages from the guy [21/M] I'm with!! | I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about a month ago. Then, because I hadn't been single in so long, I went a little crazy and ended up messing around with this guy (from here on out, he will be known as Guy B) at a party that I had been texting a lot. Now, Guy B fits my dream guy vision quite well, and I started to get feelings for him. We continued to meet up and mess around (I was a virgin, so no sex.. yet). My breakup went bad, and my ex freaked out when he learned of me and Guy B (they knew each other fairly well). My ex texted Guy B, which freaked out Guy B, and Guy B told me that he didn't sign up for feelings. However, Guy B was good friends with my roommate, and I read some texts that said my ex was the reason he was holding out on a relationship. So I had a talk with Guy B and we agreed we would just see what happened with us in the long term, but not to expect anything at all. Then, a few days later, he took my virginity. He's called me babe a few times, and last night I stayed the night at his place. I really like the kid, but I don't wanna freak him out. However, I also don't want to be lead on, and end up getting hurt. Help me, Reddit :( | Broke up with BF of two years still a virgin. Ended up sleeping with a guy I like and don't know where it's going. |
t3_1eqd08 | tifu | TIFU by breaking into my nude, sleeping, neighbor's home. | My neighbor asked me to dog/house sit for her family while they were on vacation. They weren't supposed to be home until late tonight so she said if I wanted to I could go check up this morning. For some reason I woke up at 5 am and couldn't sleep so I went over there to check up. I walked in and no dogs came out to greet me like usual. So, I walked upstairs and wandered around turning on a few lights and calling to them. No response. I walked back downstairs and suddenly one of the dogs ran in....without it's collar. In that moment I knew what was happening. The family was home early. As I quickly turned tail to sneak out of the house the 21 year old daughter walked downstairs FULLY NUDE with a glass of water in her hand. She took one look at me, screamed, threw the glass of water at me, and ran. I pretty much did the same. Her mom called today to explain they got in really late and figured she could call me this morning. I'm still in hiding. | House sitting for neighbor, ran into her fully naked daughter in the kitchen I was not supposed to be in at the time. |
t3_3g1ngu | relationships | Me [21 F] talking/hooking up to [22 M] for a month, need perspective on his side | I live in a co-op and as a joke downloaded Tinder to swipe everyone in the house. I swiped one of the guys and ended up talking to him for three weeks regularly - he wanted to take me out on a date and dinner and bothered to look up a show that we could watch. He's busy with work so it was only a couple Saturdays ago that we talked for the first time at a party in our house. He wanted me to come over but I was too tired so we planned to hang out later.
In all honesty I was rather unsure about him, but talking to him in person gave me a reason to pursue him more. We ended up hanging out then hooking up, we talked everyday for a week then had plans to go out on a date last Saturday. He slept in late so we decided to hang out that night which we did - we hooked up again and he offered for me to stay over which I didn't take him up on because I thought I'd be annoying. He said the day after that I should've stayed. For the past few days we haven't been texting as regularly and I'm wondering how he feels about me as I like him.
For some more information, each time we've hung out is a good four to five hours - we chat and watch shows so it's not just hooking up. I've told my friends about him and they think it's odd I'm worrying because I'm apparently out of his league and he's unsure. They also said instead of texting I should just knock on his door and approach him that way. I'm scared that he may think I'm annoying or has lost interest in me or maybe just wants some space??? I don't know - I also left my earring over which he kept making plans to get back to me but forget to retrieve last time I saw him so I have a reason to see him anyway. So help? | I've been talking to a guy I live with for a month and hooked up with him a couple times - I want some perspective on if it's worth pursuing and if so, how. |
t3_11h2pk | AskReddit | I received an offer to go to Germany as an 18 y/o just out of school to teach German to kids. Any advice, reddit? | So I am being forced to type this twice, stupid f5 key... Anyways!
I am an 17 y/o male from Canada who has never lived on my own. Last week my Aunt who moved to Germany a couple years ago messaged me on facebook asking if I wanted to come work with her in Germany as a teachers assistant, teaching grade 1-3 kids German.
I will have JUST gotten out of high school when I fly over.
She works in a school as a teacher of sorts who helps special needs children, wheelchair bound special needs, not mental special needs.
I've wanted to move to Germany since I was 7 years old and have learned German well enough to hold a basic conversation down. Over the next year before I go I would try to learn much more German, although it wouldn't be terribly necessary granted my aunt only spoke some 30 odd German words when she went there.
I'll be working under a Work visa, but I may be able to get an EU citizenship through my Hungarian grandparents before then.. Not sure on that one though.
So does reddit have any advice for someone who has no idea what to expect? :D | Moving to germany next year right after I get out of high school to teach school children English. I know enough German to hold a conversation and plan to learn more. Any Advice? |
t3_1007nc | relationships | What is the best way my friend/roomate(19) can react to her current situation with her bf(20) | Backstory, my roomate is one of my best friends. She met me in high school and we've been friends since. We tried going out, nothing really clicked and we both decided friends is a better status. We don't have any feelings for eachother. I have another friend from throughout school(m20) who is now going out with her.
My friend throughout school is known for being a bit manipulative, has hurt himself because he has upset his previous girlfriends, has hurt others for going near his girlfriends (not even for anything worthwhile, just friendly encounters.). and I don't see him getting better without any professional help.
They have been going out now, for almost 7 months. She is trying to maintain the relationship but puts far more effort into it than he does. He tends to mooch off of her (borrows money often totalling to easily over 100 dollars.). He has used her car despite it being inconvenient for her. He's skipped work to go to a carnival while she worked despite obviously needing the money he would have made (borrowed 10 from me there.). He's been blowing her off VERY OFTEN to play dungeons and dragons recently. He's also cheated on her through texts that she innocently read, (she was looking for her own conversation to check if messages went through.).As you can tell, the list goes on and on. But she still loves him (her words, she's next to me.)
I'm trying my best to be fair to her and get as little biased advice as possible for her. She has done nothing but be loving and caring for him, but gets little back nonreciprocating(idk if that's the right word.). I want her to be happy but his best efforts are typically, "aww babe, you know how cute you are? Let's have sex." (not far from what would actually be said.) I don't want her to be used for sex.
Can you guys help?
Feel free to ask any questions, we'll answer them. | Best friend(f19) is going out with kinda ex friend(m20) and he treats her like garbage. |
t3_1ixt1z | relationships | F(24) Apparently I make all the relationships in my life crash and burn. | I don't know what I'm doing wrong anymore. No matter what I do or how hard I try it feels like life keeps bitchslapping me in the face. I've done some things I regret in the last year or so, sure, but not enough to warrant this kind of negative karma. I've lost friends, lost my job, couldn't afford my therapist and then she turned out to be wildly unprofessional when I left (leaving me with even *more* issues I'm sure) and at this point I just don't get it!
Now I know Reddit isn't supposed to be used as my own personal diary, but I just can't take this anymore! I need help. I need advice. I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers. I'm not a socially awkward person, I'm actually quite personable and have been told that by numerous people (though I do get some social anxiety on occasion) and yet somehow I keep turning people away with ease.
If I have any anger issues they're only due to wanting normal things like friendship, love and a normal life so desperately only to be rejected constantly. I don't know how to change my life. I don't know what I'm doing wrong :( Help? | life is falling to shit and I seem to keep losing everyone and everything little by little. Don't understand what I'm doing wrong or what I did to deserve this negative karma. |
t3_ipxv4 | AskReddit | Do you ever think back to your school years and realize that sometimes you were just asking for it? | I got picked on quite a bit until Middle School, I went to a private school so there was zero tolerance on bullies then got to High School Honors. I look back and realize that some of it could have been avoided, because sometimes I was simply a little shit. I honestly thought I was smarter and better than everyone, a defense against the baseless bulling I had received earlier. My high school was the only school I have gone to for more than two years, so every two years I'd go to new school and immediately assumed I was better, mostly to cope with perpetually being the new kid. If I had stop being such a shit then most kids probably wouldn't have messed with me.
Also food for thought, there was a group of girls in my high school that wore goth cloths, did cosplay, called each other by their cosplay names in school (Kingdom Hearts), claimed to have every mental problem ever recorded, put on facebook how they were going to kill themselves, and claimed to be vampires, then had the audacity to complain when people thought they were weird and annoying. | Do you think that sometimes you could have avoided a lot of bulling if, as people, we weren't so defensive? Or alternatively, are some people asking for it? |
t3_3tgeix | relationships | Me [20 M] with my SO [19 F] 4 Months, Should meet-ups lead to something more? | I met her while out with friends and have been seeing her a couple times each month but keep in good contact by text/FB as she rents near her University and I'm still in my Hometown.
We find quiet places talk and make out
(I know it sound like we're 14 Yo's sneaking out of our parents house but it feels like more than that) We go to friends' party's and clubs as a couple but we're not 'official' as such.
We really like each other but we're at a stage where we mutually feel the other would be offended if we touched a wrong place on the body; we'll touch or rub each other's hair, leg, ass but I guess it's down to whether we are sexually ready. I don't know what to say or ask her without feeling like I'm pressuring. | Early 20's meet for a week or 2 each month for romance but not sex. Are we ready for the next level? |
t3_16yhz8 | personalfinance | Car broke down and tuition to pay. What should I do? | I apologize about my crappy writing skills.
I'm 19 and I live with my parents. I go to school full-time, and I have a part time job that pays $8.50/hr. My car's engine is useless and replacing it is more than the worth of the car (the car already had several expensive repairs). I need a new car to get to work and school. My first year of college was paid for by my parents. They are now refusing to help me any longer, and I'm okay with that because I'm an adult and at least they are letting me live with them. The problem is: I have no credit. I need a car to get to work and school. Without one, I'll still be able to attend school because of public transportation but I'll be unable to work which means I cannot continue saving up for a car and pay off my school tuition (which is covered until the upcoming semester). When I was 18 I made the mistake of telling them I was agnostic. It didn't seem like a bad idea at the time because they've always been understanding and tolerant about most issues. I didn't know my "coming out" would hit them so hard. Now they refuse to cosign loans with me so I can get the finances for a car and upcoming tuition and have refused to help me any longer with school. I think I will need a fairly large loan(s) to help me pay for school and a new car (looking for a new one because I don't want to worry about repairs for a long time). What are my options? What kind of loans can I get? | Parents refuse to help me (which I don't resent) get loans after suddenly cutting off financial help with tuition and car. |
t3_1ii4oy | relationships | I (24M) looking for some advice. | Ok so I will try to keep this as short as possible. My girlfriend and I have been dating for half a year. This is my 3rd longest relationship and her 2nd. She has dated more guys then I have girls but I have had longer more meaningful relationships then her.
So this brings me to my issue. My girlfriend isn't as open with her feelings as I am. She doesn't compliment me, or tell me how much I mean to her as much as I do, which then sometimes leads me to feel like she doesn't appreciate me as much as I do her.
We have talked about this before and she usually just says that she isn't used to being in a situation with a guy she deeply cares about, considering all of her ex boyfriends were basically assholes. She says that she feels the same about everything, but she has more trouble putting it into words. This I can see because she is more of a visual person where I am more of a spoken person.
The last time we talked I mentioned about how I had a history of depression , ( I was on pills for it for like 7 months a couple of years ago) and that maybe I was just relapsing a bit. I have been feeling overly emotional like things shouldn't be upsetting me as much as they do which really bugs me. My girlfriend suggested instead that we should just go into a therapist I can tell her how I feel and then she can give advice to my girlfriend about how to be more open.
To just sum this up we have great communication when it comes to everything else, and we don't keep any secrets. She has come clean too me twice about snooping through my text messages after some of my ex's tried talking to me. But we solved this and I told her that these girls don't mean jack to me. | I sometimes feel like my girlfriend doesn't reciprocate the same feelings and doesn't treat me with equal amounts of love and companionship as I give her. |
t3_1b1jo9 | legaladvice | Criminal Mischief Summary Offense | I was recently found guilty of a summary offense criminal mischief charge in Philadelphia, PA. I am having trouble figuring out exactly what this means for background checks regarding future employment. More importantly, I'm curious as to what would happen if I got another summary offense for criminal mischief, would the consequences be more severe? If for example, I was caught again doing criminal mischeif in a different part of PA or say NY, would they charge me differently because I would then be a repeat offender? Or, would a new charge in a new area not even have record of this summary offense? | i write graffiti and do not want to stop. What are my consequences for this summary offense besides the fine? What will happen if I am caught again in Philly? What if i am caught outside of Phllly? |
t3_oye3t | running | My feet heat up with reebok realflex running shoes. Wondering what I can do about it, if anything. | These are the exact shoe:
I use these for running on the treadmill about 12-15 miles a week. When I run a 10 minute mile pace the shoes are great and I can focus on my technique without worry. I've been upping my cadence and pace as my technique is getting better, but I am having a problem with my feet heating up!
When I run anything faster than an 8 m/mile my feet get overly hot, like I'm walking on fire! If I slow my cadence or pace the pain of the heat goes away. I can't control my technique as much if I slow my cadence and cadence is a big part to proper technique. I switched to my vibrams and I have no ill-effects, except the occasional hard landing with improper technique, but I much prefer them outdoors. So I've narrowed it down to the shoe and I'm wondering what I can do about it, if anything, because I really like the comfort and feel of the reeboks! Maybe different socks? No socks? Ankle braces? Any ideas would help. | My feet heat up when running anything faster than an 8 m/mile on the treadmill using the reebook realflex running shoes. What can I do to prevent my feet from heating up? |
t3_c6j0y | AskReddit | Quit my job. How do I face up to a seeming inconsistency about leaving? | The Story:
My father has leukemia. He's been in the hospital all week, so I hadn't spoken with him. I spoke with my mom and told her I'd be coming back home to take care of him (cultural thing); she agreed that it was the right thing to do. I quit my job, coworkers threw a going away party, tearful goodbyes and all.
I fly back home, finally see my father, and he's PISSED. He took it as a sign of disrespect that I didn't tell him I'd be coming back (again, cultural thing). He refuses to let me be his caretaker and sends me on my way. He is the head of the household and I must respect his wishes (regardless of his stubborn attitude).
He sent me back to the US to finish my MBA. Unfortunately, some of my co-workers also attend the same university. How the hell can I explain being in their classes without seeming like an abject liar about leaving?! | quit my job, told coworkers I'd be leaving the country indefinitely for family reasons, but turns out I'll be taking classes with them in a week. How can I explain this to them? |
t3_220k8m | relationships | I [20/m] broke up with my gf [20/f] of 3 years, 2 months ago. Since then my life revolves around exercise | Bit of back story: she moved to another country for uni about 2 years into our relationship. We tried a year of long distance but I felt like the relationship was stagnant so I ended it. I know we won't get back together, and we've maintained no contact. She has moved on and is seeing other people whilst I'm stuck obsessing about exercise and basically nothing else. I can't stop checking her reddit / Facebook but it's just making me more miserable. I feel like I'm only happy in the gym. Just wondering if there's anything I can do to get out of this rut and really move on? | Replacing gf with exercise and feeling exhausted and miserable. In need of something to get me out of this rut |
t3_4wj9rl | relationships | My [25F] friends [20'sF] purposely excluded me from a big event. | I made some new friends this year in my postgraduate course. While we supported each other with the course, we did a lot of things socially - nights out clubbing or drinking, going for lunch, supporting each other through personal problems etc. I was pretty happy because I had a great new friendship group. There were 5 of us.
I found out a few days ago on facebook that everyone in the group except me was going to an event of one friend, Kate. Kate participated in a sports group through college and they were hosting a big ball where anyone in the group could invite others (friends, partners etc) to come along. So Kate invited everyone except me.
No one in the group mentioned the ball to me at all. I saw them a few times at college in the last few days and it wasn't discussed in the group chat. I thought maybe I misunderstood the event and it wasn't the kind of ball I was thinking of...
But no, I ended up seeing photos on facebook that it was just a typical ball for people to get dressed up and drink. Kate and another girl have taken all the photos of the group with all these tags alluding to them being the best of friends.
I'm feeling pretty hurt about being excluded. I don't really know why Kate excluded me and why everyone avoided bringing it up. The only reason I can think is that perhaps it's because I'm in a long-term relationship and they are all single?
Not sure what to do next. I don't know if it's best I take the hint and just distance myself over time, or if I should ask Kate why she didn't invite me? | New group of friends didn't invite me to a big social event. Everyone avoided talking about it around me. Feeling hurt and confused. |
t3_4gbva4 | relationships | Me (19F) with my boyfriend (19M) of almost two months, told me he loves me. | I'm currently freaking out about this. My boyfriend and I were hanging out today in my dorm room, and while we were making out he said he loved me. I said it was too soon and I really liked him, and as soon as he left I promptly looked up why anyone would say such a thing so early. Most websites said guys use it to get in girls pants, but weve already slept together.
In his defense, we hang out in the same group every single day and hang out one on one for at least a couple hours almost every day. I can see how two months of our relationship could equate to much more in another since we live on the same floor of our dorm so we always see each other.
However, I don't think love is a word you can just throw around. I said I love you to my boyfriend in my last relationship way too early and that relationship was not something I'd like to model my new one off of. I believe my boyfriend means well, but this is his first real relationship and though I am falling for him, I know we're not at that stage yet. I'm wondering if he may not realize since I'm his first girlfriend not only when it's appropriate to say, but also what love is. How do I move forward with the relationship, I really don't want to end it with him? | boyfriend said I love you too early (I believe because of a lack of past relationship experience). How do I move forward past those words? |
t3_135ax1 | Dogtraining | Dog Park Drama: My dog is defending his puppy friend, good or bad? Story inside. | I brought my 10mo old male BC to the dog park today with his 5mo old friend. The puppy is pretty small and was getting pushed around quite a bit by the big dogs, she is also quite fearful, and was yelping a lot. At one point a 10mo old husky had her pinned and she was obviously in distress, although the husky didn't appear to be hurting her. Her owner went over, picked her up, and carried her around for a bit to calm her down. The husky's owner called his dog but it was clear the dog didn't come when called (this continued to happen throughout our visit) but otherwise did nothing.
Once the puppy was put back down to play she stayed really close to us along with my dog. The husky continuously came to try to get close to the puppy, who was obviously afraid. My border collie would get between them and push the husky away. I actually thought they were just normally playing for the first while, but then noticed that my dog wouldn't let the husky come between him and the puppy. I called my dog to stay close to me, and he would come to my side and walk with me, but once the husky came back (every minute or so) he would go to defend his friend again. The husky was never more than five metres from us. There was no barking, no biting or any signs of aggression that I recognized, but I am a first time dog owner and still trying to learn.
The husky's owner came over to me and said "you need to control your dog, he is constantly hounding mine". I called my dog, he came to me and I held him to give them a chance to walk their husky away. I said that if he could get his husky to leave the puppy alone it wouldn't be a problem, he gave me a dirty look and dragged his husky away. Now I know the husky wasn't the best-trained dog, but my question is, was my dog being too protective? | Husky was harassing my dog's puppy friend, my dog stood between husky and puppy, Husky owner got mad, was my dog doing something wrong? Is this behavior I should try to stop? |
t3_2as8d5 | relationships | How do I [29 M] get my[24 F] girlfriend to treat me better? | Been dating my girlfriend for 8 months now and she's awesome but it feels like she literally does the bare minimum. Like I feel like she very rarely goes out of her way to do anything for me.
Where as I do things like offer back massages for no reason, buy her flowers randomly, get her things because I'm just thinking about her, write her encouraging things on rough days..etc. Now I'm not doing any of this TO get it returned but it would be nice if I felt like she did anything out of the ordinary for me.
Yes, we have talked about it and she says that her ex-boyfriend really did a number on her and she has a hard time with that kind of thing, but they haven't dated in 2 years. She said she's going to work on being as awesome of a girlfriend as I am as a boyfriend but I'll be honest and say I've seen her make no strides.
She's said things like i'm the best boyfriend she's ever had and that she wants to be the best girlfriend I've ever had but I'm not seeing it and i'm starting to become bitter and I feel like an asshole because of it.
It's been suggested that we read a book like the 5 love languages because it appears we have different needs but I'm not sure reading will do anything if she's not open to actually taking action. | Girlfriend doesn't treat me as good as I treat her. It's starting to make me feel bitter. I don't want to break up but I'm wonder if there is a way to get us on the same level. |
t3_2fl7fn | tifu | TIFU and made my neighbor think I have a dogshit fetish | This happened a couple months ago. I'm noticing that people in my apartment complex aren't picking up after their dogs. There are maintenance landscaper guys, but really the lawn and even the sidewalk are getting nasty between cleanings. I get my shoe messed up like 3 times in 1 week, because late-night walking and what's a flashlight?
I tell the super. Super wants to know who. I don't know names, man, just put a sign up or something. I happen to bitch about it to cool neighbor who always cleans up after his dog. His deluxe pro opinion is that I should take a picture of it happening and give it to the super.
Fast forward to nighttime, which is when covert neighbors sneak out with their smelly dogs. I'm walking my dogs and texting and I happen to see newer neighbor glancing around while he lets his dog dump by the picnic tables. I've seen him before but I don't know which apartment.
Fumble out my phone like life depends on it, point at dog crapping from a distance, flash goes off and phone makes obnoxious picture sound. Forgot to turn that off. Blurry useless pic of neighbor looking up at me. He has rageface when I glance at him for comparison.
I hunch my shoulders and jerk my dog's leash a little and go "BAD DOG" for no reason at all whatsoever, because some part of me couldn't leave awkward enough alone. Speed-shuffle out of sight. | I tried to covertly capture my neighbor letting their dog crap all over the shared lawn and accidentally used flash, then loudly blamed it on my dog as if it were their idea. |
t3_hmhj7 | cats | My cats are fighting and I don't understand why | Hey, I've been through the internet and back and I can't really find an explanation to why my 2 cats are fighting.
They're 4 going on 5 years old, been together since birth (brothers), they're neutered since before they turned 1 and they've gotten along pretty well until now. Although one has always been more dominant.
It started about 2 months ago, when they suddenly couldn't stand the sight of eachother, hissing and growling and fighting. We thought they where under some kind of stress so we put up more scratching posts, added another water bowl and another litter box, plus we bought feliway. After a couple of weeks they seemed to be friends again, until today...
When they're friends they can play pretty hard, when they started to not get along.... well lets just say they _fought_ instead of played hard... You could tell from the sounds that it wasn't fun.
But today it was even worse, the dominant cat seems to be trying to end his brother. I have always been able to separate them by voice or by hand, this time i had to use a large cushion to separate them. I've kept them separated since, tried to do a meet and greet but it ended in another huge fight so they're separated again.
Well this turned out to be a long post. | How can I help my cats become friends again, or should I give one of them away? Grateful for any hints or tips. |
t3_3otcr4 | relationships | My [20 M] dad [56 M] mother and elderly neighbour died last year and has now become an alcoholic and we're unsure how to deal with it | So 2 years ago my fathers mother died and he was always the one there for her, his brothers and sisters were around for her but if she ever needed help dad would be the one to jump in the car and drive to assist her.
When she died obviously he took a hit and missed her a lot but we had an elderly neighbour across the road that he would help and assist her with, have breakfast and tea with every morning etc, around a year ago we woke up to ambulances, she had died in her sleep.
This is when his drinking got very bad, he's now on at least 2 bottles a day of red wine and it's tearing his marriage apart and driving his children to resent him.
What I'm worried about is he drives while under the influence and I'm very worried that he's going to hurt someone else.
Last night is where it really got bad, we were out for dinner for my brothers girlfriends birthday and he was being extremely childish and annoying my brother and I so I swapped seats with my brother who can tolerate it then he got in a bad mood so when dinner came he was sitting there sulking and not eating, then he spilt his beer on my brother and my other brother made a comment, so he got up and left and walked home (a 40 minute walk), my brother and I drove home and found him on our street just walking into our house so I left my brother and went to pick the family back up from the restaurant, apparently my little brother had to stand in front of the door to dads car to stop him getting in and driving off somewhere.
What should I do? should I call our polices non emergency line and ask them if they can put some sort of hit on his rego to pull him over and bretho him? no matter how much we talk to him about his alcoholism it doesn't seem to do anything, I think a shock like losing his license would really jolt him to look into becoming sober. | fathers mum and elderly neighbour died now he drinks 2 bottles of wine a day and drives and I'm afraid he'll kill or hurt someone else. |
t3_27pt66 | relationships | Me [19M] with my ex [18F] since 7 months ago, having trouble getting over it | I'll just summarise a brief history first I guess. I'm not sure what I'm really looking for, just thoughts/a place to write what I'm thinking/advice, I don't know.
So I didn't really know my ex, we went to the same school but we never really talked, and then we started talking and eventually got together in January 2013. It was my first relationship, and it was literally everything I could have possibly asked for, it was perfect. We stayed together until August 2013, when we broke up due to heading off to different universities. We decided to remain friends and talked pretty often, every couple of days.
We went off to university and for a while, everything was fine. However in March I dropped out of university as I was getting stressed and depressed and it was seriously negatively impacting on all aspects of my health. My ex stayed at university, and as far as I can tell, she is doing absolutely fine.
After dropping out, I had so much free time on my hands and was in a pretty bad place mentally and I would think of her all the time. Recently I moved house across the country to a new area where I don't know anyone at all, and I can't stop thinking about how much better my life was when I was with her.
I want to get out there and find some new people to potentially get involved with but a) I know no one and have no idea how to go about meeting new people and b) I'm awful at talking to women, I suffer from social anxiety disorder and how I managed to get in a relationship in the first place is a mystery to me. I would like some advice on how to stop thinking about her because at the moment I just can't. It's hard because to me, everything about our relationship was perfect. She was beautiful, we got along really well and I felt truly comfortable around her. I just can't imagine any relationship in the future if I somehow did make something happen being any better than it was with her, and it would be kind of sad if the best relationship I ever had was 7 months long at the age of 18. | Amicably broke up with ex in August 2013, was fine for a while but now am really missing her again. Want some help moving on and looking to the future. |
t3_2ko6y4 | relationships | I (20/M) like the same girl (19/F) that my friend does (21/M) | Well, the title pretty much explains it all, haha. We both started liking this girl at around the same time. He told me he liked her and I was too surprised to tell him that I like the same girl so I didn't.
In a couple of days, he somehow managed to strike out without asking her out. Not really sure about the details but I think he creeped her out so much that she made it clear that he wasn't to come near her again.
I still like the girl but I don't think I have a shot anyway. If I was, however to ask her out, should I tell my friend beforehand? The friendship's not super serious (we've been friends for a yearish) but I don't want to lose it over a girl. I only have a couple of weeks of uni left before we all go away for the holidays so I would only have to ignore her for a bit of time before I can let my heart cool down haha. | I like the same girl my friend does and he struck out. Do I shelve my crush for the good of the friendship or do I listen to my heart and ask her? |
t3_1tdo2a | relationships | Me [28 M/] with my GF [25 F] for 3 months, She is obsessed with my ex | I've been dating this girl for a few months. She is great. Relationship is getting serious kind of fast but that's OK. Problem is that she is obsessed with my ex. I told her i broke up with my ex of 2 years not long before I met her. She constantly thinks I'm not over her and does not trust me at all. I assure my GF that she is always on my mind and that I love her but it's not enough for her.
She goes through my old FB pictures and demands i remove all pictures of her. She finds out little things like a sweater I own from my ex's school (my sweater not my ex's). It drives her mad. She wants me to get rid of everything that has any reference to her. Nothing of hers is in my place but anything that is related to her she wants me to get rid of it. It's making me extremely angry and ruining a great thing we have. I really prefer not to get rid of things I own... There are a lot of things I bought with my ex that I like a lot. Getting rid of the sweater... fine what ever. But this is just getting so out of hand.
How can I get her to trust me that I won't hurt her... that my ex is in the past and she is the only one on my mind. | GF is obsessed with my ex. Wants me to get rid of all MY shit that I got with my ex. How do I get her to stop thinking about my ex and to trust me. |
t3_51bzks | relationships | I'm a [20 F] who's in love with her [21 M] best friend, should I tell him? | Hi, I have been in reddit for a while but never actually commented or posted anything until today, so bare with me please.
I'm in love with my best friend, a year ago people started to ask us if we were a couple but we always denied it, so, people started to tell me that I was blind if I couldn't see that he was really deep in love with me, but I just couldnt believe that, i mean he IS my best friend...
on december (we got 2 months of vacations), I got back to my hometown (I'm in studying college away) and my cousin talked to me about it, she made me see the things through everyones eyes and then for the first time I started wondering if he really liked me in that way... So I decided to talk about it after the long holidays, but when I got back to college he had started a relationship with someone else and I just found it very awkward to talk about it now that he has someone else...
then I began developing a crush with him, and a few days ago I realized I'm actually in love with him and I don't know if I should tell him or just leave it.
I really don't know, I don't want to ruin our friendship or even hiw relationship if it turns out that he actually likes o liked me I don't know what to do... | Should I tell my best friend I'm in love with him even though he has a girlfriend and I'm not really sure if he likes me back? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.