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t3_tqi5l | dogs | Help preparing for a new puppy | Right now I have a 2 year old corgi, I've had her since she was a puppy and she has lived with me between apartments and my parents house. I am looking into getting a second dog a) because I really want another dog and b) so Sherlock has company throughout the day while I'm at work. This will be the first time that she will have to be alone all day long, I used to live at home or drop her off at my parents house during the day where my mom stays home and they have 2 dogs she can play with.
That being said, I love northern breed dogs and I know that they aren't always suited to apartment living. I'm looking at getting a malamute, that is the breed I wanted to get in the first place but decided to get a corgi because they are easier to train and probably make better 'first dogs'. I'm going to get a doggy door so they can go out during the day and in the mornings I go running. I know Sherlock would probably be sufficiently tired out from a couple mile run, but I don't know if that would be good enough for a Mal. I know a puppy can't really go on long runs until their joints develop, but when he gets older i understand that i can't out run a mal's energy level. I have looked into bikejoring (basically dog sled running with a special bike rig) and that might be a viable option when he gets older. | I know Malamutes aren't usually recommended as an apartment dog, but can it work if he has a four-legged friend and gets exercise in the mornings? |
t3_1vzs7t | relationships | One of my (18F) Roommates (20F) moved in three months ago. She doesn't pay rent, for food, or even have a job. Drowning in it. | One of my friends moved in with me and one other friend when she fought with her parents. At first we told her she could stay a few nights. She asked if she could move in, we agreed.
She doesn't have a job anymore. So she doesn't pay rent. She eats all of the food that I buy without asking, has friends over constantly, and feeds them with the food that I buy.
We've discussed having a job with her. She claims she's looking for one, but there is no evidence of that.
I can't stand her living here anymore. I want to have her leave, but don't know how to without ruining the friendship.
I don't enjoy her being her.
I buy all of the napkins, toilet paper, paper towels, etc.
She's never contributed.
Please give me advice.
My rent is very cheap, I can't find another place as affordable.
I'm not even sure if my other roommate would be on board with kicking her out. | Friend moved in, doesn't have a job, doesn't pay for anything, has friends over, eats all of my food, and is bitchy. I want her to move out, don't know how to approach this situation. |
t3_3vp5t7 | relationships | [21 M] Messaged this woman on Okcupid a while back, didn't hear from her, saw her at a concert, should I message her again? | A long time ago I chatted with this girl on Okcupid, same age as me. Eventually the conversation died out or something. I messaged her again but didn't hear from her. Maybe she didn't see my message, I don't know.
I was at a concert and I saw her in person! Looked like she was alone. I did NOT go up to her and talk to her. Because I thought it would have scared her for this stranger from the internet to approach her just like that. Would that have been a bad idea to approach someone like that? Is that creepy? Did I make the right choice to not approach her? I don't know if she saw me, maybe she did but I doubt it. I don't know.
So, I was thinking of messaging her again and saying I saw her at the concert and asking how she liked it? Or would that be extremely creepy? I actually was friends with her on facebook for a while but I think she deleted me or something I have no idea. I'm pretty sure she would see my message for sure if I sent it on facebook. I mean, she is pretty public about her name and what not.
I just don't want to look like an absolute creep. I don't want to scare her. | Saw Okcupid girl in person at concert and now I want to message her again asking how she liked the concert, wondering if this is too creepy or weird, don't want to freak her out. |
t3_3e4zbo | relationships | I(14,M)am living a life of a shut in and my parents are really getting mad at me now. | I am a 14 year old boy who pretty much sits behind the computer all the time playing games or browsing the internet and study.
I do different things here and there but not often since I much rather stay at home.
My average day goes like this since summer vacation started:
wake up -> play computer -> eat -> play computer -> sleep
My dad and I made a promise saying that if I get the best grades in my class I will be able to play more (Asian family yep).
I did not reach this because there are better kids obviously however I did end the year with a good, above average grade though (7.5 out of 10).
So I was pretty happy but my dad wasn't.
We had a whole conversation about how I should be doing more things to improve my health like sports and do things outside like going to shops instead of just playing computer.
He also said that i should be more responsible like working, all that adult stuff.
He is not allowing me to play my games anymore unless I get 'good' grades again.
Now you might think
'Why is it so bad he is saying that?'
YES I KNOW that I shouldn't do this and game less and take more responsibility but am I still not a kid? Is it that bad at this age? I plan to improve my life as an adult but now I just want to...enjoy life by gaming and relax.
Ofcourse i do small chores and help whenever really needed but besides that not.
I need help, do I start becoming 'adult' right now? Do I enjoy my youth in my way? What is the best thing i should do?
Please help... I am so confused. | I am a shut in that likes to stay at home whenever possible to just relax and game all day. Dad disagrees and tells me to change. |
t3_3p0rjx | relationships | Not used to affection and proclamations of love, not sure if it's too soon or a red flag (35F/34M new relationship) | Yeah yeah firstworldproblems etc.
I'm not the most verbally affectionate woman in general, but my new guy apparently is very generous with his words, almost to the point of making me uncomfortable. And I said so.
He said "I love you" after like 3 weeks out of the blue. After a super awkward silence I said something to the effect of "I'm flattered and I like you and care about you and enjoy spending time with you but I'm not ready to say that myself." He didn't seem too disappointed.
But he keeps saying it. Every so often I express discomfort, or he asks "are you still weird about me saying that? it just means I care a lot about you."
Is this a red flag?
There are no other red flags so far but this one is new to me. I'm used to dating jerks, not nice caring guys who are always thinking about my happiness and expressing their feelings and talking and cuddling for hours with me and bringing me gifts a lot and just... this guy is great in a lot of ways and I could easily see it being a good long love partnership. But not yet. It's only been a few weeks!
Should I be worried? He knows it's weird to me but he keeps saying it. Maybe I'm not being direct enough about how much it's making me uncomfortable. I don't want to hurt his feelings, I told him that, and that I'm not ready to say it back. He continues to say it and sometimes adds a bit of explanation. "I'm a very affectionate person and I have a lot of love to give."
It doesn't help that I'm a cynical skeptic with a history of absolutely shitty relationships and abuse of all kinds. Am I the one overreacting? WTF help, this shouldn't be the problem. In all other ways this new relationship is awesome. | New BF said I love you after 3 weeks and is WAY more verbally affectionate than I know how to handle right now. Is this bad? |
t3_2x33cl | relationships | Me [23 F] with my mother [50 F] if I don't learn how to tell a convincing lie within 12 hours I could lose everything except for my job. | I'll try to keep this simple. I have religious uptight parents. They have financially supported me in the past to an excessive amount (private college, and paid for half of my car. And I currently rent from them. This means I "owe" them, from both their perspective and mine).
I just got a routine exam and got birth control pills because I'm considering becoming sexually active. I checked everything at the office a hundred times to make sure their insurance wouldn't be pinged (because I still feel it would be wrong for them to pay for something they disagree with). I checked with the pharmacy to make sure it was only going to alert me. But somehow, because for some fucking reason my mother's email address was on MY file they emailed it saying my ×××× prescription of **28** pills with associated cost was ready. Ironically they didn't call me even though I set up my number with them.
She forwarded me the email saying "I don't know why they sent me this"
I sent back "weird, Thanks for forwarding"
But I know there's gonna be a conversation where I have to either make up a fucking disease or finally say "hey. Let's talk about boundaries and how it's none of your fucking business"
I'm bad at lying and I've never set boundaries with anyone in my life. Reddit. I am terrified of torching my relationship with my immediate family, being evicted, and disowned. I need a solution. And I have no one else to turn to right now. | Religious Conservative parent has strong evidence of me getting birth control. And I have no medical nonsexual reasons for getting it. Lie or use this as boundaries-setting catalys or do something else? |
t3_1xuyaw | relationships | Me [19/F] with my _best friend__ [19/F] 6 years, Best friend's boyfriend and I are not on good terms, should I be forced to be around him for the sake of my friendship? | My best friend and I have known each other for a while and I even introduced her to her boyfriend of almost 3 years but certain events occurred that made me angry with him for good reason, and now I'm not so sure about him.
She knows how I feel about the situation and yet she is considering inviting him to her movie party that her and I were planning together. I am too uncomfortable around him at the moment to deal with that but she's adiment on bringing him or she won't have the party at all.
I don't feel as if i'm being too harshly towards him because what he did was unacceptable and I would consider being okay with him again if he would just make an effort to talk to me about it.
Any advice or suggestions on how to deal with awkward situations like this would be helpful. | 6 year friendship may be in jeopardy over 3 year relationship, but I'm willing to work things out if the boyfriend would reach out to me |
t3_1qjg64 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [31 M] married for 5 years, he's not in love with me anymore. | We've been together for twelve years. We've been arguing a lot recently, I don't feel that he supports me/gives me enough attention. I feel like he just wants to do what he wants to do all the time, which usually means having his friends over to get drunk/high and play xbox. He's been trying to treat me better but it has often fallen flat because I've been feeling insecure lately.
Today I found out why I was feeling so insecure. Today he finally confessed that he loves me but he's not in love with me anymore. That feeling is missing. A couple of years ago I had a mental breakdown and he said that's when the feeling went away.
I think maybe he just needs to see a therapist and talk about that time in his life and deal with his feelings. Which is what I did and I'm completely fine now.
Has anyone fallen out of love with their spouse and got those feelings back?
I don't want to be married someone who isn't in love with me but I don't want to give up on my marriage unless I've tried everything first. | After five years of marriage my husband says ''I love you but I'm not in love with you'' - Can I fix this? |
t3_bd6tu | relationship_advice | Girl appears interested, but has an ex (my friend) she still sees. Advice? | Reddit,
I am recently single and have started talking and spending more time with a girl I have known for a while. We have gotten drunk together a few times and cooked lunch. When inebriated I expressed my affection for her, and she replied positively but also vaguely. She responds well to my flirting, and tells me that she loves spending time with me. Usually accepts my invitations to hang out, and extends her own, so it seems apparent she is somewhat interested.
The only problem is, most of the time I have known her it has been as the girlfriend of one of my better friends. Their relationship was close, but never that well defined. A few months back they decided to split up, and our mutual friend got together with another girl. Things didn't work out, and he started spending nights with her again. She told me that she wanted to move on a while ago, but also that she still has feelings for him, and isn't sure what to do or tell me.
So:
1) How should I proceed? As I see it I can either keep making my interest clear, continue to be as charming as possible, and hope that this leads to further development, or I can keep spending time with her but pursue other options until she makes a firm decision about the ex or expresses a more concrete interest.
I have made it clear that I'm not trying to place any pressure on her to decide, and she still wants to spend time together regardless. But I am unsure which of the above options would be received better.
and 2) Am I acting like a total dick towards my friend? I know he cares about her, but he broke up with her because he thought he had found something better, and from my view is only coming back now that the new girl turned out not to be as interested in him as he thought. In his talks with me about her prior to their breaking up he gave the impression that it was mostly about the sex and inertia of being together. I thought about discussing the matter with him, but as I'm not sure of the girls feelings it seems premature/potential argument for no reason. | Interested in ex-girlfriend of a good friend, she seems interested but has complications. What should I do and am being a total dick to my friend? |
t3_4jvcfm | relationships | TL;DR No to the pool party college reunion...overly possessive or just enough? | My wife [f39] of 15 years recently attended a reunion with her college friends...alone...at a southern resort...bikinis and beer! I [m48] was invited, but declined because the group really isn't my cup of tea. Not that they're hostile, just they're caught up on reminiscing about the good ole' days.
The group parties pretty hard, including my wife.
I had expressed that I wasn't comfortable with her going alone to what appeared an extended pool-party alone with her old drinking buddies, including an ex-boyfriend who had recently announced he was now single.
My wife went into a heated defense and cried that she really wanted to go. I relented and said go. But, just after her departure I couldn't remain silent and told her by text I was very unhappy (pissed) that she elected to go alone knowing I was not comfortable about it. She continued anyway and assured me she wouldn't drink too much while there. I wasn't satisfied. She went ahead anyway.
My discontent ruined her weekend, and I am angry that she went even though I expressed my unhappiness about the nature of the reunion (weekend long pool-party). We're now deeply angry with each other and unable to reconcile. She thinks I'm being insecure. I think she's being naive and inconsiderate. I found myself lying to friends and family about where my wife was that weekend because it was too embarrassing to say where she was. | So, am I being to possessive? Or is it reasonable to expect my wife to exercise some restraint about what type of reunion is acceptable to attend when I'm not also there? |
t3_2vty9c | relationships | I'm [24f] getting several moles and freckles removed, but my bf [21m] has a giant mole. What should I say to avoid hurt feelings? | So I am currently in a country where it'll cost me only $200 to totally get rid of most of my moles and big freckles. I'm going for it- it's cheap, and I don't like them. There are a few that really freak me out just due to odd placement (not risk of cancer or anything) in my ear etc. But there are 3 on my face I'm getting rid of as well. They aren't large, but they annoy me, and I might as well while I'm in for the "bigger" stuff.
I've been seeing this dude only a month, and he's not here since it's a family vacation. I haven't talked to him about it since I don't view it as a big deal & we just haven't been dating that long.
But I just realized he has a huuugggeeeee mole right near his mouth, while I'm getting several much smaller and less noticeable moles removed from my face. What in the world am I supposed to say if he notices I've had them removed? He's pretty self-conscious, though he's never brought up the mole on his face. I don't want it to become a "thing" but if we're being brutally honest, I don't like his mole either. I don't like any moles. But we all have various nit-picky things we might not like about a person's appearance and in the big picture it doesn't matter at all.
My best-case scenario is just that he won't notice. But if he does, I want to be ready with something validating and positive to say. Help me? | I'm getting some small moles removed. BF has a HUGE mole. Afraid of causing him undue insecurity. Need a script to handle this. |
t3_4907w5 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my med school bf [21 M] of 3 years, picked up extra currics, stressed, short fused. | So lately, my boyfriend has picked up a very time consuming role within his university's medical society and i've noticed it's changed him. He's normally very level headed, calm and not easily angered. I know that he's been stressed lately due to issues he's been having with some of the people he's been working with in this role on top of his full time research year and his part time job
i've been trying to be understanding and just let him get all his work done before we hang out or chat, but it doesn't seem to be working because when we do hang out, we're talking about his extra curric 80% of the time. It's not really his fault since he has so little time these days, but on top of all that, he's 'emotionally unstable' (his words exactly), and it seems like we can't have a normal conversation any more without him blowing up and getting upset.
After we rationalise what we're fighting over, he acknowledges that he's being 'over sensitive' and apologises, but he says he doesn't realise he's stressed and over reacting until it's too late. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to walk on eggshells around him, but he's being such a girl these days and it's upsetting me because i'm really busy myself (STEM Student) and I can't seem to work productively when we're fighting.
We both see that he has a problem but i'm not sure how we can fix it? I was also wanting advice on how I could be more supportive of him, coming from a non-health background, I have no idea how I can help him study or encourage him with his work :( | med school boyfriend is overworked + stressed, and although he's not exactly 'taking it out on me', gets easily upset over being questioned or other small things. I don't know how to improve the situation. |
t3_3a2y9t | tifu | TIFU by celebrating my new employment | Mandatory note: this happened a couple of days ago.
I've been down on my luck this year, what with getting rejected from several universities and feeling dragged down by the not-so-fascinating life of working in retail. I'm a transfer student looking to research psychology/sociology, which are extremely impacted majors in my area, making it a very competitive field. In one of my upper-division courses, I met my wonderful colleague and friend (we'll call her Jess) who had actually been working in the field quite some time and had already been accepted as a transfer to a nearby school. We clicked, had a blast working on projects together, and remain friends afterwards. Jess actually helped me get an amazing job in the psych field that paid MUCH better than what I made in retail. This job is a fucking blessing - it'll be my first time working with actual clients, gaining experience, and will look wonderful on grad school apps. She's been working for this company for a while and allowed me to use her as a reference. I have never been so excited to move forward! ....But here's the FU:
Neither of us party very much, but for my birthday last Friday we smoked a bit of pot and went out for the night. We also smoked again on Sunday night. I printed out the form to get my TB test done at a health center for the company today, and notice the form also requests a drug test (unbeknownst to me, they did NOT mention this at any time in any emails or in person...) Keep in mind, I'm a 115 lb, 5'6 female with a fast metabolism. I go running every other day, but I think I fucked up here, because it will probably show up, and the test form is due today. I don't plan on going in and am hoping to push it off...apparently this is a new procedure, so she was unaware it was even an issue. So fuck. Any advice would be lovely here. | landed a great job, celebrated by smoking some weed, am now unable to pass the (surprise) drug test despite it being the first time in a year or so I've smoked weed. |
t3_3pb38f | relationships | How do I [17M] approach my Mom [45F] about wanting to go to counseling? | I've seen a lot of people get good advice here and this is something that's been eating me up the last couple weeks so I thought I'd see what y'all had to say. I'll keep this short.
I think I've had some light depression for awhile now. Like possibly my entire high school career (I'm a senior now). Only recently did I really realize this. And I'm honestly just so sick of it. Tired of being alone, having no friends, having no one I can do normal teenager crap with. This is my senior year, I should be living it up. I seem to come out of my funk and do some good every once in a while but it never lasts. I think I need to see someone professional, and I'd like it to be before I go to college. I've always pictured myself having a fresh start in college and getting out of my funk, but I realize that probably won't happen unless I get help now. But anyways...
I really just need help on how I approach this with my mom. Like what do I ask for? To see a doctor, counselor, therapist? I'm really scared she might shoot it down, although I can't think of a reason she would right now. Having a hard time reaching out is also why I'd like some help lol. I don't think she'd really be against it. My sis [6F] already goes to some CPS mandated therapy (unrelated issue). I'm also scared of what my very traditional, right wing dad might think as he'd almost definitely be paying for it is out entire financial support.
Another problem is I don't want her to think my ex gf that I broke up with a few weeks ago caused this. She had some serious issues with depression and anxiety that my mom knew of. But this is an underlying issue not caused by her.
Your help would be so appreciated. I honestly have no idea what do about this. Sorry if I rambled. | Want to get counseling. Scared of repercussions if shot down. Advice on how to approach the topic and hopefully convince her to let me get counseling. |
t3_rgdx5 | relationship_advice | What should I do, Reddit? | I would used to say it'd be bound to crash and burn. I'm still only a kid, I'm 17, and fit into the group I said shouldn't worry about relationships. Well, that's changed. There's this girl I **really** like, and I already know she likes me to. No, she hasn't SAID so, yet, but it's the way she acts and what everyone is saying. I'm extremely good at reading body language, for example, and everyone has thought for the past month or two we've been dating.
The problem is, though...we're both new to this, and we both have poor social lives. I finally got the courage to tell her last Thursday that I like her. She got too nervous to say anything, and I left. Friday I asked if she'd want to talk about it next week, when she got back to town, since she was leaving for the weekend. She tried to hide a smile and said "I don't know, maybe." Today, following the advice of a school social worker that has pulled us each aside more than once and asked if we liked the other (an observation she made :P), I told the girl that, since she's nervous and afraid, to not worry, and that I won't pry, and to say something when she feels more comfortable. I don't know what else to do, really, and we don't see each other at school very much, pretty much only lunch...
I've had trouble sleeping a few nights because I can't stop *thinking* about her, especially last night. I don't think I slept at all last night, I was so nervous and anxious. | What should I say/do? Should I just wait, now, and see if she'll get the courage to say something? She seems almost deathly afraid to talk about it, she gets *so* nervous... |
t3_27ujwo | relationships | Me [17 M] with my gf [16 F] going out 2 months sex problems | So I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 2 months now and things are going ok. She's great, loyal I never have to worry about her messing around with other guys. She's beautiful, part of the reason I started going out with her is because a lot of other guys wanted her. I mean I couldn't really ask for much more it's just that, we've already had sex so it's not like it's the first time but I feel like I think it's more important than she does. I try and explain that just once every 2 weeks is all I want but sometimes she doesn't want to? And I mean I feel selfish because she's great in everything else just I feel like she doesn't really want to have sex as much as I do. I've been having feelings to have sex with other girls just to release my frustration but I've never cheated and I don't really want to but I don't think she understands how important it is to me..there's this girl that wants to hangout and i'm really tempted to but I would feel bad because I feel like my girlfriend is so perfect just the sex is the only thing.. | Have an almost perfect gf, just not having sex as often as I want. Thinking about having sex with another girl because I don't want to break up with her I just need some release. |
t3_21t3xr | relationships | Me [26 F] with boyfriend [27 M] of 6 months. We only see each other 1-2 times a week. Is he still into me? | My boyfriend (27) and I (26) met 8 months ago during a short course we were taking together. We started dating 6 months ago. We saw lots of each other during the course because we had the same classes. After the course ended we began hanging out maybe once or twice a week on average, usually once in the middle of the week and once on the weekend.
He says that I'm his first real girlfriend, so I believe he is used to being pretty independent and doing his own thing. I have no problem with this. I got out of a long relationship just 18 months ago so I'm not looking to move in with him or spend ever day with him by any means. I enjoy my own independence and have a separate group of friends that I catch up with regularly. I am a little concerned, however, that we still only see each other 1-2 times a week 6 months in. And we don't really text each other much in between times. We can go days without any communication. We are both really busy and I'm not suspicious of infidelity or anything. He regularly initiates contact, so its not like its just me always going to him. He appears to be pretty keen when I do see him. But in truth I would like to see him more, or even if I can't see him more, I'd like to have more regular contact. I guess I'm just scared of appearing too clingy, so I haven't asked him. He seems like he is happy with the amount of contact as it is. I'm also afraid that if I try to push for more contact we might end up getting sick of each other.
Is it normal to only see someone 1-2 times a week after six months? And go days without contact? Or am I worrying over nothing? | I only see my boyfriend 1-2 times a week and sometimes we go days without contact. It has been like this pretty much from the start but I'm just worried things should have progressed more by now. |
t3_2xkq1j | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Fiance [21 F] 3 years, Mother Always Knows Best... HELP! | I'm in a relationship that has been for the most part happy. The first time we dated we were about 17 years old. It didn't end up working out but we still kept in touch no matter where life threw us around. Eventually I ended up visiting and everything rekindled, I moved to her town and from there it's all history.
She's a very sweet girl, very pretty and fairly intelligent. The issue here lies in how she can't make decisions for herself. She's always asking her mothers permission for everything. To the point where when it came down to having her visit my family in Oregon, (we reside in California) she said no for fear that her mother wouldn't allow it. Even worse, she hasn't spent a night at my place even once and I've lived here for almost two years now.
I find myself fantasizing about having a woman who is independent and can experience things that I feel I need to experience at this age... Going out and having a good time for one... Traveling, and other alike-things. But I feel guilty when I go out because she can never join.
There's an extra dynamic to the situation because her father passed 4 months ago. Now she's not sure if she'll ever be able to move out and leave her mother alone (only child). I feel like an ultimatum would be unfair.
I had really expected her to stand up to her parents and start making her own decisions by now. This has been an issue since we were younger, I've had countless talks with her about this issue and it never seems to end up resolved. It's getting to the point where I don't even feel like getting in my car and going to her place to see her anymore.
To wrap it all up, I'm 21, an IT professional, already moving ahead in my career, and her mother won't let her get a job that isn't chosen by her. So she's still sitting at home all day.
Should I drop the relationship and break off the engagement for now in search for "Miss Independent"? | My Fiance is stuck under her parents thumb still and I'm not sure if I should cash in my chips now and go find the independent woman I desire, or wait for the possibility of us moving forward in our life. |
t3_2an8yj | relationship_advice | I met a girl (23f) who is giving me (23m) very mixed signals. How long should I wait to get back to her? | I'm 23 she is 22 and she actually lives 200 miles away. I met her at an art gallery while on vacation and offered my number but she declined in a silly way and gave me hers instead. I find her attractive but still more of a friend for now with little to no romantic intentions (don't want to really just hook up with her).
Day 1: We texted for a while and ended up skyping for a while that night.
Day 2: I texted her again, we talked but did not skype because we both were busy.
Day 3: She texted me late and asked to skype, kept saying that I should come hang out one day (like 3-4 times).
Day 4: I text her to talk about hanging out. She then agrees, but later sends me a message that she has a dentist appointment (on Sunday). So I am asking her what's up and she says she would rather hang on a day that she can request off of work and set aside completely.
Day 5 (today): I didn't send her anything.
A close female friend of mine said to wait until tomorrow then ask if she wants to skype. That way it won't hurt to look like an eager guy who is interested (even though I think I'd love to just be friends and hang for now since she seems like a cool person), and she also mentioned if there is any interest it might drive her a little crazy in a good way. Does that sound decent? | Girl seems like she wants to avoid hanging out but keeps talking to me. Don't know how long to wait before asking to skype again so that I don't come off as someone trying to get in her pants or too eager. |
t3_1rvja7 | relationships | I [31M] am casually dating a girl [27F] for 1 month, but plan on leaving country in 6 months for long-term travelling. How should I handle it? | So I met a wonderful girl 1 month ago and we've hit it off pretty well so far. We're both pretty compatible and we definitively have potential for something serious at the rate we're going. But here's the dilemma, at my company we have a policy that lets us work remote full time after a year and I'm 6-months away. If I get there, I think I'd want to live abroad for awhile for a change of scenery. I know the girl won't have that luxury with her job, should I break things off when we start to get serious? | Have a great thing going with a girl right now but I expect to be moving in 6 months to travel long-term, what to do? |
t3_riuhe | relationships | My boyfriend has a recurring problem in bed. How do I deal with it? | Basic info: 21 year old female dating 29 year old male.
We've been dating for a few months, and every single time we've had sex (seriously, without fail) he can't keep it up consistently. He can occasionally finish, but not every time. I know that he wants to, but most times he just *can't*.
I'm fairly certain it isn't in relation to physical attraction since he's always complimenting me, etc. But who knows. How the hell do I bring something like this up (lolpun)? Or is there something else I can do?
* He smokes quite a bit. Cigarettes and weed. Doesn't do drugs that I know of.
* He doesn't drink often, but when he does he usually drinks heavily.
* When it happens, he tends to kind of laugh/shrug it off and apologize.
* He told me it had been awhile since he's slept with someone (not sure how long) and it's been 2-3 years since he's been in an actual relationship.
I really have no idea what it's stemming from. Any ideas? It didn't bother me much at first because I thought it would stop, but it hasn't. I'd like to talk to him about it but I figure it's a pretty sensitive subject. | Boyfriend can't keep it up. Seems as if he thinks it's not a huge problem and he's not embarrassed by it. How do I talk to him about it (if I do)? |
t3_ilvpl | Pets | My cat shit on TSA | So I was moving from Austin to Boston for grad school. I have 2 Savannah cats and so to get them to fly with me in the cabin, I had to have a friend to come so we each could have an in cabin pet. One of them is an F5 so he is 3.125% wild. He lets people hold him for short periods of time so my friend was in charge of him. They were also drugged so he was kinda out of it. The other one is an F2 so she is 25% wild. She does not let anyone hold her ever, fight or flight, she chooses fight. So technically she is illegal in Massachusetts since the cut off is F3.
So we get to the TSA part of security and it dawns on me that the procedure is to take the animal out of the carrier and walk them through the scanners. We realize this is what is going to happen and instantly start getting worried. So I take my very drugged angry, illegal savannah out that weighs 15+ lbs while my friend has the other out that is 20+ lbs, long and lanky. Also we were both at about (7.5).
So they are telling me to go in the body scanner and hold still with her, she is not happy at all and takes a massive wet stinky shit in the scanner all over the floor. I don't think they noticed at first because they were focused on the cat themselves. I could hear people saying "Wow what is that, is that a bobcat?" and I just want to get these cats back in their carrier and with as little fanfare get on the plane. I signal to my friend that there was shit on the floor so she didn't step in it. (with her socks since you have to take your shoes off)
I'm not sure what happened to the shit or if TSA cleaned it up or if some poor person walking sans shoes stepped in it making their security experience all the worse, I just wanted to get the hell on through.
So in the end my cat did what we all want to do and dropped a big turd on TSA. | going through airport security with a drugged angry cat results in cat shit all over body scanner machine at airport. No idea what happened to shit as we scrammed. |
t3_222u96 | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend 19 [M] of two years, I hate his behavior at college for reasons I can't pinpoint. | My boyfriend and I have been together about 2.5 years. We met in high school and are going to different colleges. It is long distance. We don't get to see each other all that often, once a month at most.
I can't tell if I am just being paranoid, but his behavior at college bothers me. He is always out with friends (like, every single night) and these friends always seem to end up being girls. It's not like I don't have guy friends, but I don't spend late nights in my dorm room with one guy in particular, which he does. He has two girls that he mentions all the time, and one of them gets under my skin because they seem to study late into the night together all the time.
This wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that he has not been particularly communicative since we went to college. I had to make a big deal about trying to get him to call me once a day, just before he went to bed, for at least five minutes to say goodnight. So statistically speaking the amount of hours he spends hanging with these girls is quite large compared to the amount of time we text/talk online/talk on the phone.
This really got to me especially when, he would go days without so much as a text, and I went in his email (he gave me his password a while ago and said it was okay... but I know I probably still shouldn't have) and I saw that he had sent an email to the one girl he always hangs out with that was like "I know we're not studying together tonight so I wanted to wish you a good night before I head off to sleep :)" Which wouldn't be a big deal, but he doesn't even email or text me good night every night!
I know I should just trust him, and technically he's not doing anything wrong, but I feel very uncomfortable with his behavior. He gets very defensive if I try to bring it up and says I just need to trust him, but the fact that he has time for these ladies but not for me makes me really upset. | Long distance boyfriend does a lot of hanging out with two girls at college, one in particular, and it bothers me how much attention he gives them when I can barely get him to call/text me regularly. |
t3_1ptumx | relationships | My best friend turned girlfriend [22 F] is making our relationship more difficult then what it already is. | So I am [22 M] who this year has been dating my best friend of 5 years [22 F] and we started off as friends with benefits, then we caught feelings and the transition went well going out as we were nothing but happy with each other and enjoyed each others company alot! We've been fooling around for 8 months but been together for 5 months going on 6 in November. But as the months went by, especially this fall (september and october) things have been more difficult for not only ourselves but for me to fix these situations
She gets mad over the littlest things and it bothers me how it leads to arguments to then not talking to each other. Things turn up fine the next day but a few hours later the same thing happens over again when I say something that wouldnt upset many people/girls. Makes her look so irrational and immature for the reasons shes upset at me. It seems like I can't catch a break to make her happy even when I try to. She tends to be a jealous person and protective of me.
Ex) We both are busy with college and work, we understand we can't see each other unless its at night. Not the daytime. She's been busy the past fews days with midterms and work and I happen to be avaliable. I would hang out with her and have tried but i respect that she has things to take care about. So I go hang out with my guy friends whom i have hung out with the time shes been busy. She calls me on her lunch and i tell her im eating with the boys, she gets irritated and tells me to go on our (trip to reno we planned) with them instead. [Completely irrelevant to what's going on now] And then she tells me we are no longer together. Hasn't talked to me since.
I find the reasoning for her getting upset over alot of things is honestly stupid and not a reason to get upset. She's told me that's the way she is but idk how to feel about that if it continues to be nothing but
happy a day or two-->I say something nothing to get upset about--> she gets mad---> doesnt talk to me. | Dating my best friend turned lover, all was good at first and takes things the wrong way which leads to a "breakup" Hasn't talked to me since our last fight. Not sure to handle this. |
t3_2v4390 | offmychest | I love my gf, but I'm starting to feel like I'm missing a lot of opportunities because of monogamy... | GF and I in our early-mid twenties and have been dating about a year. We have a good connection and deeply love each other. This being said, I can't help but feel that I'm passing up on a lot of beautiful women. I was never a handsome, nor charismatic guy in my (relatively) younger dating years and thus, I never really got that much attention from the opposite sex. I guess I've really blossomed and have been having to decline a lot of sexual advances lately. I'm not even out there looking for it: I don't flirt with these other girls (though of course, I engage in polite conversation if prompted) and I'm very conscious about not displaying certain types of body language. I never conceal the fact that I have a GF and often introduce this fact earlier on. My GF and I don't have any problems, especially where sex is concerned, though admittedly, it has become a tad stale. This doesn't mean that I'm itching for more/new sex, it just means that I don't look forward to the sexy times as much as I used to.
All this being said, I just can't help feeling like I'm missing out. Polyamory for sure is not an option for discussion with her and I know it would hurt her very much if I tried to initiate that discussion. I've never cheated in my life and never will, but this has been troubling me. | In a good, monogamous relationship, though and influx of attention from the opposite sex has me feeling like I'm missing out. |
t3_1iw8ly | personalfinance | Isn't a Roth IRA a no-brainer for young people? | It seems like a lot of people consider future tax rates to be the key decision factor when choosing between a traditional and a Roth IRA. But what about capital appreciation? Isn't it always better to pay the taxes up front if you are young and assuming your investment will compound at 7% for multiple decades. In other words, even if tax rates are much lower in the future, you will pay less taxes on the smaller initial investment with the Roth as apposed to getting taxed on your fully appreciated portfolio when you retire. There is also the psychological component of knowing that all the money in the Roth is yours, regardless of how much it grows over time. | If you're young and eligible, shouldn't you max out the Roth before contributing to a traditional IRA (or 401k beyond employer matching limit)? |
t3_2cafk4 | legaladvice | [California] My fiancee would like me to contribute 50% to her mortgage without putting me on the deed. Is this reasonable? | My fiancee and I have been engaged for 2 months and together for 6 years. Everything has been great. No issues living with each other and are very happy with each other.
We are currently living in her house and I am paying her rent equal to half her mortgage. We split all other expenses. I had hoped after we get married, that all property would be owned mutually. However she would like to keep her house in her name only as well as have me continue to contribute 50% to her mortgage. She would also like to get a prenup that says in the event of a divorce she gets to keep the house, but that I would get 50% of the equity gained during the marriage.
Would I in fact get 50% of the equity gained during the marriage, even though my name isn't on the deed? We live in California. Is this a reasonable request of me to contribute 50% to the mortgage and not own half of the house? She will not budge on the prenup details, but are there any reasonable alternatives that I could come back to her with? | Fiancee would like me to contribute 50% to her mortgage but not own any part of it. Is this reasonable? |
t3_ukcle | AskReddit | I cheated on my girlfriend now I need to show her that I love her and will never do this again | I've been dating the same girl for about 3 years now (May 24th 2009). She's the most amazing person I've ever met. We've got a son who turns 2 in August. We both used to play WoW though we knew each other outside of the game. I asked her for a week to go out on a date with me till she finally said yes. After our first kiss I knew I was in love. A week after that I got stuck in the hospital because my lung collapsed and it was a week long stay. She visited every day and took such good care of me. That was the first time I told her that I love her. Then a few months later (in Nov) she got pregnant. We were scared but kinda happy. We were super young but we knew we could do this. (She was 16 when she got pregnant and I was 18) My lungs got some really bad nerve damage from the surgeries I've had on them and now I'm to the point where I can't work or even go to school. She's taken care of me since day one.
A few weeks ago I met someone else on WoW. We started talking and flirting a lot. We started texting each other a lot, and talking about a lot of inappropriate stuff. She lives far so it never got physical but the emotional aspect of it was enough to ruin my relationship. The other night we were texting each other and my girlfriend saw what we were saying. She flipped and now she won't talk to me or even look at me. She's told me that we're over though on facebook we're still "in a relationship" and she's still living with me. I know what I did was wrong on so many levels. I have no idea what I was thinking and I can't even look at my self in the mirror. | I met a girl, fell in love, had a child, then a few years later emotionally cheated on her. Now she doesn't trust me and wants to leave me. I know what I did was horrible. |
t3_3nuyj6 | dating_advice | I (22F) appreciate his (24M) efforts wooing me but I don't find him physically and/or mentally attractive. | He started confessing interest 2 weeks before I left the city we were both in that time. He helped me with logistics as I was practically living alone in the city and no one else to help me through.
For 6 weeks after I've left the city, he never failed to text or call me everyday but I was losing interest. I got annoyed and indifferent for the kind of things we talk about. It felt like I was just wasting my time talking to him. I declared I could not reciprocate his efforts to me. He expressed he knows I was not into him. Nevertheless, I told him I appreciated the things he's done for me.
A week after, he texted me about a flight he booked going to my current city. I was enraged because I thought my business with him was done. One week before his flight, I started to finally calm myself and clear my thoughts. After all, he's still just a soul who tried hard for something he want/need in his life. I thought I can just be a friend. I'll also have the chance of reiterating that I'm not interested, thus, a formal closure. Then came his arrival. We spent the whole weekend together as he knows no one else in my current city. I felt he cared for me like I have never experienced before. I was totally falling for it. I learned I am comfortable with him and that I can be my weird self with him. Everything was magical even if most of the time we were crying. He was crying pleading for a chance. I was crying because I might miss him and I might regret my decision. I was trying to comfort him.
Now, days after his visit, our phone conversations got a bit more interesting than before. I think I'm falling for it. | I am not physically and mentally attracted to a suitor. But his efforts are already moving me. I need help figuring it out: what to brush off, what else to look for. |
t3_2y0jsl | tifu | TIFU By Having A Lazy Group Partner | Obligatory this happened around two years ago.
So Im in my senior year of high school, and we were assigned to complete a project on a genocide that we were assigned to. My group was 2 chicks and a dude, and they all did nothing. We got assigned the Kurdish genocide, pretty easy as it was somewhat recent. We were supposed to make a presentation and a poster or some shit, AND a video. I had to make the poster and presentation, and forgot about the other part, so I figured my partners would do it. Nope. We have to teach the class for the ENTIRE PERIOD with this shit. We all show up to class, I whip out my fancy-ass poster board to point at some stuff while my partners are 'supposedly' getting the video set up. After im done I walk over to the computer and the dude is checking his fucking *Facebook*. I ask where the video is, and he just looks at me with a blank face. I try to act fast and just jump on YouTube to try to find one before my teacher gets suspicious. It works. The video starts out showing sad facts, with some sad music, and looks pretty much like something we could easily make.
Oh god. But halfway through the video.
As I am thinking to myself how smooth I am, the screen fades to black.
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the *CLANG CLANG* FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
The screen began vigorously flashing images of dead bodies, all while thinking to myself that there is no way this is real. I have GOT TO BE DREAMING. The video stays this way for a solid TWO MINUTES. After the video, I stood up to present my presentation. Everyone was utterly shocked and staring in horror as to what they just witnessed. The teacher looked like he was about to fucking choke me to death. I acted like nothing happened and continued with my presentation. We got a B- somehow. Word of advice, dont depend on a stoner and two stuck up bitches to ACTUALLY do any work in your group. | Get assigned to report on Kurdish Genocide and make a video, get shit partners. Show up, present poster, cant find video, steal one off internet. Halfway through, let the bodies hit the floor. |
t3_2dozsh | relationship_advice | I [21/m] am falling for a friend [21/f], but I am unsure how to approach the situation. | We have known each other since middle school and became good friends (part of the same circle of friends) our junior year of high school. We ended up going to different colleges a few states apart, which did not matter; we were just friends, right? Over the course of three years we kept in touch, but our conversations were always of a light nature with the usual flair of emotes and witty banter. I never thought too much of it, just a flirtatious, fun friendship. There was no indication (that I was aware of) that either one of us wanted things to progress past this point.
Fast forward to the summer of our fourth year of our college and things seem to have changed. I had not seen her for roughly a year an a half and when we met up for coffee and we started talking, I felt myself falling for her. We always got along before, but now we have rapport. We have hit it off pretty well, going out to dinners, bars, events, etc... but I am not sure how to approach the situation due to a few factors.
1. She currently has a boyfriend.
2. The summer is coming to a close and we will be separated once again.
3. She is Indian and I am Caucasian (family cultural issues?).
4. Her fourth year is suppose to be the toughest and she needs someone for support; her current boyfriend (since he goes to the same school) is in a better position to be there for her.
I can not be 100% sure she feels the same way for me, but the whole nature of our relationship this past summer has pointed to the fact that we are acting like more than friends. Plus we have been continuously communicating/flirting (roughly 2000 texts) during the past few weeks.
My gut says, be the usual good guy/friend you are. Be there for her, but wait for her to end her relationship before you make your move. My heart wants me to be happy and to just close my eyes and blindly lean in for a kiss.
Reddit help! Am I somehow being too conscientious or thinking we might have something that is not really there? | I am falling for a good friend of 5 years. We have gotten closer over the summer, but she still has a boyfriend among other barriers preventing me from fully committing. |
t3_39uai9 | relationships | I [20 M] broke up with my ex[20 F] one month ago, and I feel well most of the time, but she still seems to be my weakness | Hey everyone!
I broke up with my ex approximately one month ago, some 2/3 weeks after I told her I didn´t feel the same for her anymore. I know she loved me, but we were constantly fighting, and after 3 months together, I felt we were to incompatible.
The decision to move on was unanimous, but even knowing we weren´t compatible, not meant to be together and all that, I still had the strongest attachment to her, we were great together, very supportive to eachother, caring and with great chemistry.
I´ve been loyal to the No Contact rule since then, and I usually feel great or absolutely ok and moving on, but knowing about her, having a friend saying he talked to her, knowing that she will be in a particular place in a particular time, I don´t know, she seems to be my fuc*ing kryptonite, I feel sad when something like that happens, and I feel like she´s my weakness.
Because overall I feel ok, I´ve been busy, going out with friends, studying, going to kickboxing, planning my vacations, etc, and as soon as I feel great about myself, the simple knowledge that she talked to a friend of mine, or that she went to a party, or that she is moving on, can really put me down.
Even doing the best for me and even knowing that I feel well most of the times, it seems it´s being hard to really move on. Getting to that state of not giving a fuc* about her or about what she´s doing seems to be a far thing.
Sorry for the long post!! Would be grateful to hear similar stories, and how did you overcame the whole thing. | One month after breaking up, I feel well and moving on, but knowing about my ex can really put me down again |
t3_10unxe | relationships | What amount of $ is appropriate to receive from a friend [M24] (I'm F26) as a gift? | Male coworker/friend [24] of a couple of years gave me [26f] quite a bit of money as a gift for my birthday. Is it appropriate for my friend to give me so much? (It was like 60 bucks, which is awesome, but really seems like too much.)
What should I say? Should I tell him that it was too much? Should I give it back? Should I buy something yummy for the office with it?
How do I bring this up with friend?
(I was the person who organized the party we had for him in the office on his bday. I also made cupcakes so I guess I did something nice for his bday too? It's not insanely out of the blue in that regard.)
I'm not sure if relevent, but I've also been in a relationship for 3 years with my boyfriend. Is it weirder that my guy friend is giving me a big present (in the sense that I'm not single and maybe that's innapproriate? My bf doesn't care, he thinks if he's willing to give me such a big gift than whatever?) | How much is too much for an opposite sex coworker/friend to give as a present? How should I broach subject with friend? |
t3_1kwutb | relationships | My girlfriend [F - 18] and I [M - 20] are leaving for college soon, want to try an unorthodox long-term relationship, any advice or insight? | Was just curious about peoples different experiences with long-term relationship alternatives. We don't want to have a traditional long-term relationship. We've been together 2 months, and I know it sounds corny, but we've both been in other relationships and never felt as strongly or genuinely for anyone as we feel about each other.
I feel like..a traditional ltr fails so often because it turns love into something ugly; it becomes possessive, monitoring, jealous, subtle roundabout ways of trying to figure things out. just ugly.
we wanna keep it pure, so we had an idea where we would just..not stay on top of each other on a daily basis. not even a weekly basis, necessarily.
we have a habit of writing each other notes and letters, so we would just write something long for each other once or twice a month, but not really talk outside of that. the only exception is, if one of us hooks up with or sleeps with someone else, we notify immediately.
any thoughts? questions? insights? i'm anxious, and I guess being able to talk about it with impartial third parties might help a little. | we want to try a long term relationship where we don't talk to eachother daily, and just write letters once or twice a month. |
t3_caskh | self | So I have and interesting network problem... | I'm failry well versed in computer hardware and software. I am by no means an expert but I have done my fair share of repairs and troubleshooting but I have a problem I cannot seem to solve.
We have a wireless router which has up to 5 computers using it, some more than others. Last week we started to get intermittent internet outages still maintaining a connection the the WLAN. Keep in mind this router had worked fine for nearly a couple of years. This occurs at maybe 20-30 minute intervals but it was pretty variable, it could be an hour. Connection can be restored by "reconnecting" to the internet via the router. "Okay", I thought, maybe it's an ISP issue. Phone. Discuss. No issue (according to them). I eventually decide to purchase a new router. Bring it home, set it up, and we're off and running.
Or so I thought. Eventually the same thing starts happening with the new router. No internet connection but still have WLAN access. There also seems to be a strange correlation between playing BC2 on my PC and the outages. Any idea what could be behind this? | Intermittent internet outages on wireless router but no loss of WLAN connection. ISP says it is problem on our end. |
t3_104duq | relationships | HELP D': [21F] here having problems with [25M] friend/dating | I've posted a couple other times on here with concerns about this but I'm feeling even shitter now than before. I like one of my coworkers. We started hanging out about once a week about a month ago. Last friday was the 4th time we hung out. I got super drunk and stayed the night at his house and we had sex. Then sober in the morning we hooked up again.
I want to say also that I a) don't drink a lot or party and b) I just got out of an LTR about 6 weeks ago. Some background info.
This guy doesn't text a lot in the first place, but he hasn't texted or called me ONCE since we parted ways Saturday morning and I have had appointments the past 2 days so haven't seen him at work yet. I did text him once over the weekend and he responded with basically a two-word non-response.
I feel utterly torn on how to act now. Should I act like nothing happened, just as friendly and cheerful as always? I think this is the best chance of him hanging out with me again, which I really want because I do like him. On the other hand, I am NOT okay with what's going on. He is only the 3rd person I've ever had sex with and the other two were serious boyfriends. I'm feeling really bad about myself right now.
I feel like I fucked this up seriously. What I want to know is should I keep acting like I am the type of girl who is fun and doesn't care about what happened and wants to hang out more, or should I just admit that I'm hurt (and most likely have him be weirded out and not want to hang out with me again)?
I would especially appreciate input from guys. | slept with a guy I like after only 4 dates and now he is ignoring me and I'm crushed--want to know how to proceed |
t3_3kooql | tifu | TIFU by tell my wife to fuck me with that cock. NSFW | Not today, but last week after a night of drinking the wife and I start to get a little frisky. Things progress, and we're having some of the best sex in a long time, and I roll her over to the top.
Being slightly hammered, and a bit high, I really started to get into it, and so did she. When that happens we like to exchange a bit of dirty talk.
We're grunting, and moaning, and saying only things heard on a sailor's ship. I'm getting closer, and instead of saying what I meant to say, which was "Oh yea, fuck my cock!" I blurt out, " Oh yea, fuck me with that cock!"
She broke down laughing and I froze. The best part was her laughing made the 'interior' muscles convulse, which sent me filling her. The worst part is, I have heard about this everyday, and all I can do is facepalm. | I was tipsy, got caught up in the heat of the monent, and said the *wrong* thing. |
t3_3wp7od | relationships | 25 M in love with my best friend 25 F. When do I give up on a girl and how do I get over her? | I've got a problem. I'm in love with my best friend, we work together and I want to be with her. I'm a 6'5 250 pound (currently working on that I've lost 120 lbs since May) black dude with no self esteem, 25 still live at home and watches Power Rangers and she's a punk girl with tattoos and piercings.
She's my only friend and the only one I can be myself around (she accepts me for me) but it's the friend zone to the max. I have to hear about her ex boyfriends and her sex life. When we go out to a bar she'll literally talk about how she wants to hook up with the bartender.
I feel like it's a one sided friendship sometimes because when we go out for lunch or drinks 90% of the time I end up paying even though I have no money and will literally go negative in my bank account, because if I ask her to go she'll say she has no money and when I say I'll pay she'll go. When we go to her favorite dive bar and she sees one of her friends there she'll invite them or they invite themselves to sit with us and she'll talk to them for the night leaving me as the 3rd wheel.
This Friday I gave her $250 worth of vinyl records as a Christmas present and she I think she might have said "thank you". Then said she was going record shopping with some guy in the morning.
Without sounding sappy I've never felt this way about a girl before she treats me like a human being while everyone else in my world and life treats me like crap. I can never tell her how I feel because I feel like she'll never talk to me again and seeing her at work every day when she sits 10 feet away would kill me.
I don't know what to do to get over her, I'm going to therapy for that and many other issues and that's not helping. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with her but we never get to hang out because someone or thing will interrupt it. She completes me and I don't know what to do. | I'm in love with my best friend, and we'll never be together. I think I should give up on her, but we work together and she's my only friend. How can I do this and still face her everyday? |
t3_nrjfz | AskReddit | Same Name Girl Problems | So there is this girl at my school that I have been hanging out with. Let's just say her name is X. She is a cool girl and a good friend, she is also an 8 on the hotness scale. Recently she asked me if I wanted to go on a date with her. I kinda like her and I would be willing to give the relationship a try. Sounds good right? Well here's the problem. My Mom's name is also X. For some reason this makes me uncomfortable. i told her this and she thinks I am being stupid. What do you guys think? Am I being stupid or is this normal? | A girl asked me out who has the same name as my Mom. This makes me uncomfortable. What does reddit think? |
t3_2auxet | loseit | NSV: Running has become "easy" | (M/31/SW:235/CW:192/GW:175)
A few years ago I lost 55lbs and throughout that summer started running as my primary cardio. I HATE running but I was outside and I was seeing results. But after kids and various injuries, I stopped running and I gained my weight back.
Since January I have been eating right and working out, primarily doing P90X3 and T25 in my basement. In April I tried to run but my knee was killing me and I ended up needing to walk home after less than a mile.
Last week it was so nice out after work that I decided to give it another shot. I took off and I felt great. I ran 2 miles but got a huge blister on my foot so I walked home for a total of 3.1 miles. But the first 2 were nonstop running/jogging.
The next day, I wrapped up my foot and ran a quick 2 miles. Nonstop and felt really good.
The next day I went out and ran 3.8 miles NONSTOP. No walking, no stopping for a couple seconds to catch my breath. Just solid, consistent pace for over 40 minutes!
The best part is, my knee isn't bothering me at all. I feel like I am finally not just losing weight but am getting healthier and more fit. | Couldn't run because of knee pain. Have lost some weight and now have ran 3+ miles without pain or needing to walk |
t3_13s19d | relationship_advice | [30/m] Guy that I [27/f] am dating says he has an issue with sleeping... or does he? | I've been seeing this guy for just over a month. Things moved pretty fast and we've been sending each other sweet text messages, staying over at each other's places, the whole shabang. Last week I ask if he wants to do something on the weekend, and he gets very evasive saying that he'll call me on today to make plans. I freak out a little about the evasiveness (I swear I'm normally really level-headed and rational, but relationship stuff is beyond my comprehension and reasoning), but he calls today to make plans. We set a date for this upcoming week, when the following conversation ensues -->
Him: But... I really have to get some sleep because well... yeah.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, do I snore or something?
Him: No, no, I really enjoy spending time with you, but I've just been so tired for the last little while because... yeah... but we'll talk about it.
Me: Hm. Okay.... See you next week, then.
A million paranoid things are running through my mind like, "Does this mean that he doesn't want to sleep together at all anymore? Does this mean that he doesn't want to see each other anymore?"
So, if anyone can help soothe, or perhaps confirm, my state of crazy overthinking, it would be welcome. I just want to be mentally and emotionally (over)prepared for whatever conversation we might be having. | Guy says that he has to get sleep, that we have to talk about it, I am concerned that it's code for "Let's not see each other anymore." |
t3_ba518 | AskReddit | AskReddit, is it possible to file a lawsuit against a company for negligence to fulfill their end of of an agreement? (Details inside) | So here's the deal. I've lived at my current residence for 10 years. I've had at minimum 30 packages delivered via UPS of which a grand total of 0 have ever shown up on my doorstep. 15 have shown up next door, 3 to the house behind me, 5 to the house on the other side of me, 3 to a house 4 houses down, 1 to the house across the street, 3 are still not known. These are approximate numbers, give or take a package.
Never once has UPS ever gotten the package to my door in my entire time living here. I've had to go house to house when i have something delivered and have called the headquarters in Atlanta, talked to the VP of operations, called the local depot every single time, shown up there a dozen times, asked to leave for making a scene twice and left once when law enforcement was being called.
Still, packages cannot find their way here. I've yelled, fussed, bitched, complained, wrote letters, made phone calls, done everything I can and they still fail. I've gotten to the point I avoid business that only use UPS online (and i email them to inform them of why i am not ordering from them) and with Newegg i have paid 40+ dollars for 3 Day Shipping with FedEx then to get free shipping with UPS.
This is, without doubt, a clear violation of the agreement upon which they enter when they become the supplier of said delivery services. I did not start out with threats, i did not start out mean, but i've been pushed. I've had enough. What can I do legally to bring up charges against them. I'm contacting my local paper to see what full page ads cost to advertise what i've been going through so others may see. I want to take out a full page ad for a week hopefully. | Are there any legal actions I can take against UPS for failing to delivery approximately 30 packages to my house never once getting one to the correct place leaving me with the job of finding out where exactly it's gone off to. |
t3_2t2rfn | Advice | What should be my next step in playing this waiting game with this company? | I had an interview and met with the IT manager, IT director, and HR manager, on Oct 31st. I was then brought back a week later for a second interview with the CEO and both interviews went great. I waited a few weeks before hearing anything back until the HR department called me asking for my references. I sent the document with my refs to them within 24 hours and didn't hear back. I waited a few more weeks and decided to email the IT manager. He responded by saying the company was being bought out, they do want to offer me the position, and he thanked me for my patience while the deal was sealed. He also stated he would know more by the end of the following week.
Hooray! I am about to get my dream job, great pay, perfect hours... but....
I waited about three more weeks before I finally emailed him again and I didn't hear back for another week before I decided to call him and I left a message. He called me back and stated that the deal was taking longer than they planned but they *do* want to offer me the position. He stated they interview quite a few people and I was the only one they chose (they were looking to hire two people too). He said I would get a call back last Friday, I never did.
I also want to point out that my mother in law is one of my references (worked for her for seven years but they don't know we are related because we have different last names) and she has not been contacted to inquire about me.
I am the only one initiating contact here and I feeling like a nag. During our last verbal conversation, I actually said, "I am sorry to nag you about you..." after he said they will be offering the position to me and he replied, "Oh no, not at all, I should have called you!"
So, now it is Tuesday and I have yet to hear back via phone call or email.
What is my next move? | It's been months, they keep stringing me along, I am the only one reaching out in regards to the position, and I am worried about overdoing it and them turning me down for being a nag. |
t3_zz831 | AskReddit | Can Dogs Get PTSD or the Like? | Here's the story: About a year ago, my dog was subjected to 4 months of neglect and starvation, eventually losing her sister and being on the brink of death due to a botched adoption. After a lot of fighting, we were able to rescue her and bring her back to health. Every since we rescued her, she has had high anxiety, to the point where whenever she sees any of us in the family (there are 6 of us) leave, she absolutely flips out and whines very loudly for the next 10 minutes or so, and is in constant need of attention when before the incident, it never was the case. This has been going on for a year now and I was wondering if she might have some sort of dog PTSD and if so, how can I help to make her more at peace? | Rescued my emaciated dog from the shelter, now she has extreme separation anxiety. Help me learn more about this/how to help her! |
t3_129srt | relationships | Tomarrow will be 1 year since my ex gf's father died, should I say/do anything?[Both are 23] | I had dated this girl from end of 11th grade (2006) untill the end of last year. We had a long distance relationship for a good part of the time due to universities being in different countries. I wont go into many details but we made it work for that term generally well.
Unfortunatly after I graduated I was unable to find a job where she lived (London) as I had not studied there nor owned a EU citizenship. Anyways her father lost a battle with cancer (brain tumor) and passed away. She had put a lot of her effort and attention towards him at the end of our relationship (obviously I had nothing against it). However the loss of a father made her basically incharge of her family, handling the finances regarding tax, home payments, etc... and thus our relationship ended because she needed to focus on family and I couldnt find a way to live in the same city as her.
I was on good terms with her mom, sister, and father (he even recognised me when i came to visit him in the hospital). My question is should I write an email of some sort since it has been 1 year since he died?
The last time I spoke with her was in the spring and she clearly told me she didnt really give a damn about me. As a result I maintained no contact with her. My gut instinct says dont bother with it, its better to not bring up past problems. Does anyone have any experience with this? | Broke up with gf(both 23 atm) of about 5 years less then a year ago , her father's death anniversary is tomarrow, should i say anything? |
t3_2woz6i | Advice | Job Advice, asking current employer about new job opening within company. | Hey folks, I was just looking to get some second and third opinions about a situation I'm in right now concerning my work life. Currently I have an internship that pays decently well for what it is, and the hours are excellent. I can work as many hours as I want during the week, and can work when I want, pretty much where ever I want, whether that's from home or in the office. After recently graduating, I've started looking at new jobs and full time opportunities and interviewing heavily. I am also now expecting my first bundle of joy which means that I'm going to have to be making it a bit more than I am now. The thing is I don't want to leave the company that I'm at, I really like the environment there and it's the first job that I've had that don't dread going into. There is currently an opening there for a full time position in which I am totally qualified for, but the new position makes the same as I do right now which wouldn't be enough to cover all of my coming expenses. Would it be out of the question to talk to my manager to see if there is a way that I can apply towards that job, and if I get it, keep my current position and responsibilities and possibly make more than what I currently am? Would be terrible to tell them what's going on in my personal life to see if that changes anything? My mangers and I do have a really good relationship, and from what I can tell they like me, I just don't want to jeopardize that or have them take away my current position all together. | Is it out of the question to ask your manager for some kind of hybrid position and tell them about my needs regarding my personal life? |
t3_18314i | relationships | My boyfriend [18] used to treat me [18/f] like a princess, after getting intimate he has been very distant. | I am a girl, dating my boyfriend for three months now. We are both 18. Ever since we became friends he always gave me a special amount of attention to comfort me when I was having a bad day, invite me places, etc. He is a virgin and has been raised to keep physical intimacy a very special thing. We had a night out and gave each other oral (his first time) and he felt very guilty about it. He said that he wanted to grow close with me emotionally so that we could really know each other without sex complicating it, and then when we did stuff it would be a lot more special. It has been a month since then and he has been very distant the whole time, as if he has just lost interest in me altogether. He stopped complimenting me when that's all he used to do, he hasn't asked me to do anything, and he keeps conversations brief. I know that he still likes me, and he felt really bad when I told him how I was feeling about it. But how do I regain his interest? | My boyfriend is a virgin and the guilt he felt from us first doing anything made him very distant. He has been stuck in that rut now for a month. How do I regain his interest and passion? |
t3_13oep2 | relationships | I(19) am Having problems with my bf(23) being addicted to the internet.. | I don't know if this is the right place for this but I didn't know where else to put it. So my boyfriend is totally addicted to the internet and it drives me crazy.. I'm lucky enough that he's into cars and not other girls but it's just too much. When I go visit him at work (his dad owns a tv shop that my bf works at basically by himself) He's on the computer. When we go out he's on his phone for the internet. When he comes over he gets on my laptop before he leaves he's on the laptop. It drives me insane!!! I've talked to him about it and sometimes he'll delete his fb and stop getting on craigslist and his car sites but it always comes back.
I just want to have some time where I'm spending time with HIM not him and his internet. Does anyone have any advice on how I can fix it or talk to him about it where he'll get the point and I won't just sound b*tchy complaining? | My boyfriend is on the internet 24/7 it's driving me crazy. I just want time with him not him and his internet and I want tips on how I can talk to him or fix it. |
t3_29zwkd | relationships | My daughters mother [22/F] left me [23 M] after 6 years, she says she wants to be solo. First real breakup | Ive been on reddit for a while, this is my first post. I created an account to post this. So basically my daughters mum ended our relationship after almost 6 years. We got together in high school, and have a 1 year old daughter now. We've had our ups and downs like all couples, broken up a couple of times and gotten back together. Ever since our baby things have been really hard on us. We had hardly ANY time together to keep our romance going, and things just became stagnant.
She dumped me over facebook, with a massive wall of text. Basically saying she needs to be on her own to "learn who she is". Then made a post telling everyone we were broken up. Its been 2 weeks. Ive deduced that she has been considering this breakup for quite some time, and has essentially already gotten over it. I on the other hand am a mess. She was my best friend, she was there for me through my mothers death, i confided everything in her. We never cheated. We still see eachother all the time because I am still a good dad, and see my daughter all the time (she lives with her mum). I dont even really know why im posting this other than to see your guys thoughts on this.
During the relationship i neglected all my other relationships. I let friendships fade, because i didnt put any time into them. Now my lady is gone, i feel like im left with almost noone, other than close family and one or 2 life friends. Ive sacrificed so much so that we could move closer to HER parents, and doing what she wanted to do. So now im basically back to square 1. No friends or job because ive moved so much trying to keep up with her. Im qualified in IT, but am changing my career because I havent been too successful getting a job. Sorry for the amateur post, im basically just jotting down my mind. I might have missed some crucial details, so ask any questions. Any advice is welcome | high school sweetheart broke up with me, am now back to square 1 with no friends and in need of a career |
t3_27lv71 | relationships | I'm [19 M] and I'm having a problem making the next move with my girlfriend [17 F] of 4 months | So as the title says, I'm 19 and I have a girlfriend who just turned 17. In advance I'd like to say I'm not trying to use this girl or be a douche or an average pig guy.
To get a quick idea of what my girlfriend is like, she's 5 feet tall and like 98 pounds and has that very cute/innocent look and attitude to her. Whereas I'm 19, 6 foot 3, around 175 pounds of stocky muscly wrestler. So even if I end up going all the way I'm also concerned about hurting her. This is her first relationship and I was her first kiss. She's my second serious girlfriend and I am not a virgin.
How ever I'm just concerned because we've made it to second base (groping) and gotten some clothing off. Whenever I mention 3rd base she either shakes her head or gets a little disgusted (I think?). When ever I mention going all the way it's either no response or she wants to wait to marriage. When ever I make a move down there with my hand she either pushes it away or accepts it. I've never gone under her clothing down there but I can tell she enjoys it a bit while at the same time looks uncomfortable.
Now don't get me wrong, I really do love her and care a lot about her. I'm not just after sex but it has been a long time and I am really looking for some romance again since my last relationship ended about 9 months ago. | I love this girl and I want to take it to the next step but she's really innocent and uncomfortable with it, what should I do? |
t3_25mmu1 | relationship_advice | My [16/f] girlfriend is talking to anther guy. What should I [16/m] do? | Hello, this is my first post here so thanks for any help.
I have been dating my current girlfriend for about 1 year and 3 months we have had a steady relationship but since about 4 months ago we have been arguing more often but nothing we couldn't reconcile ourselves. So, there is this kid in out school who I know a little bit because I have a class with him and he looks very similar to myself. I happen to mention something about him to my girlfriend and she starts talking about how cute he is, not a big deal to me but, this goes on for maybe a week. Then she tells me that she gave him her number over twitter and they have been texting. I said that I wasn't really happy about it and that i didnt want them to talk. She says im over reacting and continues texting him. Fast forward to last night I am texting her and she stops texting me back so I figured she had fallen asleep. I call her because we typically talk on the phone for a couple minutes every night and say good night, but again she doesnt answer the phone so I figure it didnt wake her up and I go to sleep. Today in school she asked me to hold her phone and she went to class and forgot to get it back from me. I tried not to but I ended up going through her phone and looking at the texts between her and this guy. She doesn't say anything incriminating other than that she "really enjoys talking to him". Which isn't a big deal to me but, the night before she had stopped texting me at about 9:30 and I called her at 9:50 but, she continued to text him until about 10:30, so I know she ignored my messages and phone call.
I realize I am in the wrong for going through her phone but, I now am pretty sure she kinda like him when she always tells me that he means nothing to her. Should I confront her about it or should I ignore it. If I do confront her how should I go about it. Please help, also our prom is this saturday, so in like 2 days, and I have already purchased tickets for us. What should I do? | My girlfriend has started talking to another guy who she says she doesn't like but she is starting to ignore me and talk to him more. |
t3_4zdnwc | relationships | Me [17 F] with my sister [16 F] she's depressed and I don't know how to handle our relationship | Hi guys, I'm posting from mobile, and I don't Reddit much, but I just kinda want to gain some perspective on my situation with my sister.
So I'm leaving for college in a year, and my sister has been depressed for I think a couple of years. We were really close when we were younger, but as she's gotten more depressed, she's cut me off. She's refusing to do anything about her depression, and acts like a huge asshole, she wouldn't even wish our mother happy birthday. I know she's struggling with something, but I've tried and tried to get through to her and nothing helps. She only acts happy to get me to buy her things, and then doesnt speak to me whenever we go out, and it leaves me feeling used. Is there anything I can do to genuinely get her to talk to me, or acknowledge some sort of relationship before I leave? Has anyone else dealt with depressed people who act like jerks? | sister is depressed, but acts like a jerk at every possible opportunity. Won't talk to anyone. Any way to fix this before I leave for college? |
t3_2uf0ho | relationships | Me [42M] slept in dog pee for the second night this week. My wife [38F] of 13yrs refuses to kick the dogs off the bed. (I come home after she's fallen asleep). | This is not even the second time it's happened. My wife likes to have the dogs sleep on the bed with her, mainly because I don't go to bed at the same time she does. I've given up fighting with her about the dogs being on the bed despite one of them throat-growling at me when I try to kick him off, however, I draw the line at them peeing in the bed (my side, of course). This has been going on for quite a while, and this week I finally woke her up, put her hand in the pee and told her it has to stop. I told her all she has to do is to put the dogs in their crates or in another room before she falls asleep. She denies the wet spots are pee ("I let them out before I went to bed") and won't apologize. She did put the dogs in their crates for three nights after I woke her up to put her hand in the urine, but it happened again last night. Urine all the way through two blankets and onto the sheets. More denial when I woke her up last night and no apology this morning. I'm really beginning to resent her for this. Any advice? | Dogs pee on my side of the bed after my wife falls asleep; when I come home to find the pee, she denies it, won't apologize, and is inconsistent about preventing it. |
t3_4rese4 | relationships | Me [25F] Him [24M] - Friend that likes me - Why won't he make the first move? | Met a guy in October, quickly became friends, roommates since April. We get on like a house on fire, make each other laugh etc. Always thought he was going to be someone special to me.
We would go on platonic dates before we lived together, dinner and a movie, walking round the city at night etc. Always platonic - never even hugged him, he's never mentioned being interested in me also never heard him talk of any ex's.
Got blackout drunk one night and through the haze I heard him say he loved me to another friend, he was also comforting me, kissing my hand, forehead, cheek etc. Never mentioned again once sober, he thinks I can't remember anything.
I haven't made the first move as I'm working through some stuff about being asexual and me not liking/wanting intimacy. I don't want to instigate a relationship then say we can't do this, this or this. Also extremely insecure about this, have lied about previous sexual history.
Why won't he make the first move? Is he scared of ruining the friendship? or doesn't feel worthy? Neither of us have supermodel looks, he's on the heavy side, I'm average. Maybe he senses I'm not forthcoming with intimacy so reads that as not interested so it's a self preservation thing.
I don't know how to play things as never done this before. Any to help shed light on the situation would help, advice or has this happened to you?? | Close friend likes me but won't act on it. I'm too insecure to act first, want to shed some light on why he won't act on his feelings. |
t3_2kppnf | relationships | My [F19] ridiculously high sex drive is ruining my life. Can't feel sexually satisfied even with good regularly occurring sex with the love of my life. Please help. | I have a ridiculously high sex drive. Even with previous partners who also have high sex drives, I've never felt sexually satisfied. My current partner has an average sex drive, we have sex pretty much every other day. This schedule doesn't work for me, I am literally always left at a feeling of dissatisfaction despite how good the sex is, I always get turned on again almost right after we finish. It preoccupies my mind endlessly, it's gotten to the point where it's sexually frustrating to even be around him because there are times I can't be around him without wanting to fuck, feeling like I'm about to explode. I love him so much and this is my first serious, emotionally invested relationship. He's so good to me and makes an effort to sexually satisfy me, but it's never enough. I cannot be sexually satiated and I don't want to be like this. Please help me, I want to change. | I think I'm addicted to sex. It's ruining my mental health and otherwise happy relationship. I want to change but don't know where to start. |
t3_481bk6 | Advice | I just found out a close friend is an escort and is using meth. | Ive had this friend, lets call her Janet, for the better part of 5 years now. Shes been sort of a mother figure to me so im not inclined to use this knowledge against her. While working on fixing Janet's laptop I found picture and video evidence of her being a call girl and meth addict. Now this really doesn't surprise me, shes been on and off meth for decades now, but most of all im just concerned for her as this is a situation thats only developed in 2015. Shes a very sweet person and the last few years havent been kind to her, she lost her job as a successful business woman, her house and car, the majority of her family photos and heirlooms. Id march on hells gates with nothing but a water pistol for the handful of important people in my life and maybe thats just dumb, but I cant see her choices as rational, I can only see them as desperate. The advice Im requesting is just how to approach her with this knowlege. Now that im aware I can see the lies shes told me over the last year and its got my jimmies rustled a little. But Id love it if she quit the meth, and I have no idea how shes treated as a call girl so I cant say i really know if thats something i would try to stop her from doing. Ive breached her trust by looking through her private data so shes gonna be pissed if she finds out, but im concerned for her. I wouldnt have known how bad off she is if I hadnt looked. Me and her son are pretty tight, and im not going to let him know any of this right now, but I think we're probably the only 2 people who really care and worry about her. Saying peace and ditching her to avoid bullshit really isnt an option, or its a very last resort. | I found out my best friend is a hooker and meth addict, im not trying to use it against her and im not really mad, how do I talk to her about it? |
t3_174jit | relationships | Simply need to know if I'm [23F] being irrational about what he [22M] did. | I just need an outside opinion on this. My boyfriend [22] and I [23] have been together for 4 years. Never had any trust issues before.
A couple of days ago he got home a bit later than usual. I asked what he was up to and he told me he was at dinner with a friend. Okay, that's fine, doesn't bother me. Then he goes on to tell me his dinner was so expensive, and that he spent about $30. Out of curiosity I ask what place was so expensive that his meal alone was $30. "Oh I paid for my (female) coworker." So he went to dinner with his similarly aged female coworker and paid for her dinner. I was pissed off. It sounds like a date to me. Especially because I don't know this woman, I don't know if she is interested in him, and if she were, him paying for her dinner wouldn't send the right signals that he's not interested.
It also pissed me off because I don't remember the last time he took me out. I bought him dinner when I got a bonus, I tend to do things like that. But I realize now that he won't pay for me unless he owes me money or something. He also makes about 20k more than me. Not to mention that while he's paying for this other woman I am home cleaning up his dogs piss.
When I let him know that his dinner came off as a date and made me uncomfortable he couldn't comprehend why I was upset. He went so far as to mock me, telling me he was going to a friends party this weekend and he would probably chip in for her dinner, so I shouldn't cry. All I got from him was a "sorry you feel uncomfortable about it".
Am I way off base here? Like I said, we have never had trust issues but this felt shady to me. I just need an outside opinion since ours seem to be so distant from each other. | Bf went to dinner with female coworker and paid for her. To me that seems like a date. He sees nothing wrong with it. Am I off base for feeling uncomfortable? |
t3_3j9na1 | tifu | TIFU by calling making fun of my friends Dad | Obligatory "this didn't happen today", but actually a few months ago.
This started probably in October of last year, we travelled from where we live to visit my friends parents, My friend had lived with me at one point so our families are pretty close. His Dad has a really sweet man cave, complete with pool table, air hockey, darts, etc. We had been drinking, and eventually his dad told us to rack the table, he was going to go for a smoke, he never came back, and the next morning I called him a bitch for bailing on us.
Flash forward to February, we were going back up to his parents place for a part, I invited the girl I was into, and by all accounts it was going to be a good night. We got there, started to drink, and soon enough my friends dad and I began doing some shots. Eventually he asked if we wanted to get high, which we did, or so him and I thought everyone did. His Dad rolled us a joint (supposed to be for 5-8 people) and only him and I smoked it. Now being high and drunk, his dad wants to show me this cool bottle he brought back from Lithuania, to which I asked if we could drink, and promptly finished the bottle. I ended up being really sick, as the next morning I found out that it was Lithuanian Moonshine, and I drank a lot of it really quick.
As I was throwing up in the toilet, I can remember my friends Dad standing over top of me asking me "Who's the bitch now stoked13, who's the bitch now!?".
Needless to say, I was. The girl wasn't pleased and though we still talk from time to time, nothing happened, except for a pretty good revenge story from my friends Dad. Since then we've both drank and not hated each other. | Friends dad went to bed early, I called him a bitch. Next time we drank he got me way to drunk, and asked who the bitch was now as I was puking. |
t3_3cs8xk | jobs | To the Medical Coders out there... | I recently quit my corporate accounting job and moved abroad to Asia from the United States. Firstly, I know some of you guys will judge me negatively on that, but it was a lifestyle decision of wanting to travel long-term before getting settled and while still being young. Fortunately I have accumulated a decent amount of savings to keep me comfortable without having to work. But I do want to work as long as it won't interfere with my travels!
I have taken an interest in becoming a medical coder because it is a job that can be done remotely from what I researched, something that isn't possible for accounting. It appears that you can do everything online from getting certified to actually working. This would be perfect for me!
Unfortunately every job position I came across required experience. I don't have any experience in medical coding obviously, but one can argue that accounting is a more "difficult" job (I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but just saying from an outside view). But honestly this experience requirement has been a big discouragement to me because I want to stay abroad and continue travelling.
So for you medical coders out there, is there anyway around this "experience requirement" predicament? I am willing to work hard and I am sure I can get certified under 6 months. Any suggestions? | Looking for a remote position and read about medical coding as a possibility. As someone with no experience, can this be a viable role? |
t3_4xo3oj | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] of 1.5 years want me to go with her to Spain during New years with her family | First post here, dont really know how to start but i will give it a shot anyway. Sry for potentially bad english:
My girlfriend will go to spain during new years with her family because her family asked her to do it. That is fine what ever.
Problem is she asked me to go with them (for free i think?). Well this might seem very joyfull, problem is, that i dont find her family very awesome to hang around for an entire week during holidays. And niether does she. So she is VERY insisting that i will go join her. But i wanna stay at home, with my friends and family.
I initially told her no, i wont go with her, which made her burst into tears and said that it is super important that i go with her. But i really feel like that if i choose to go i with her i will put aside what i care for during new years. Which i am not sure i can do. I feel super childish writing this.
..Help? Please write if this post is completely garbage i will then remove it, i am just feeling frustrated in this very moment and decided to post. | Gf wants me to join her boring family for an entire week during new years, though i would much rather stay at home with my friends. She is *very* upset that i wont go. |
t3_xlnyv | relationship_advice | 15 f in her first serious relationship, how do I know whether a fight is stupid or worth having? | Ex. I'm going away to band camp (for a week) in a couple of days. He was supposed to go to practice tonight as he's in it too, but he was at his friend's house all day. Messaged me on facebook after & used the classic "what are you wearing?" ;) thing in front of his buddies. I ask if he can hang out before I go, he tells me he'll be at his friends on& until I go. We havnt Hung out much this week. I dropped it awhile & when we were saying I miss you & love you I brought up "you'll really be gone the whole time before I go?" He said g2g. I said "k bye." | hes blowing me off for his buddies who he tried to cyber me in front of before I leave for camp, when he'll have all week to be with them |
t3_3ewuqd | relationships | Me [19 M]broke up with my girlfriend[19 F] after 2 years, i now feel miserable, is this normal?! | Hi this is the result of this post i had made yesterday -
so ive had issues with my girlfriend for a year and a half and tonight i finally put an end to it, i am happy that i have done it, however now im more miserable than i ever have been only after a few hours,
this has been my first proper relationship and im not sure if this is normal for me to feel like this, does it mean i should take her back or am i just being stupid by thinking that?
what do you guys think, is it normal for me to be this upset or have i done the wrong thing? | broke it off with my girlfriend, feeling miserable, not sure if thats normal or if ive made the wrong choice? |
t3_3p0owm | relationships | Me [32 F] with my ex bf[38 M] broke up. Having a hard time dealing with my anger associated with breakup. | My exbf and I broke up a couple weeks ago. After a few days of being apart, we decided to get back together. I had been having a lot of doubts about getting back together. I want to be with someone who is like a best friend and we had a lot of communication issues. Our last fight was terrible. He tried to do everything he could to hurt me. He was mean to my dogs because he knows how much I love them. He did and said everything he could to break my heart. I have so much anger towards him now. I know I should be happy. My doubts are gone and I now know that this isn't the relationship for me. I just have so much anger inside of me, on top of a broken heart. How do I get rid of this anger and move on with my life? | After someone does and says every mean thing they can possibly think of during a breakup, how do you let go of the anger? |
t3_3ex68t | Advice | Doctors, lawyers, etc... of Reddit. Would it be/ has it been a problem with your SO if they are not as professional/Successful as you are? | About 8 months ago I (32/M) started dating an attorney (29F). She is heavily involved in Rotary Club, Chamber of Commerce, of course, her practice, and is getting ready to start up a non-profit to assist with estate planning and care for the elderly. I am 100% supportive of everything that she does. I can dress up and go to the functions, and present myself in a manner in which her piers would find acceptable, but deep down inside, I am uncomfortable attending these functions. I also have a hard time keeping up with what in the world she is talking about when she starts talking about her work. In your experiences, how has a situation like this affected your relationships.
I work for a Technology brokerage firm running the test facility for all incoming equipment. I wear shorts, and a t-shirt, and flip-flops to work everyday. Incredibly casual and laid back. Also make a fraction of what she does. | I'm worried my SO will eventually get tired of/lose respect for me because I am so very different from her on a professional level. |
t3_zb694 | relationship_advice | [19/f] Best friend's [19/m] girlfriend [17/f] doesn't like him hanging out with me. | I've been close friends with this guy since about junior year of high school; we're both in our second year of college now. He lives less than two minutes away, we go to the same community college, and we see each other and hang out on an almost daily basis.
Both of us are in committed relationships, with mine being around seven months and his being a year and a few months. His girlfriend is a senior in high school still. She's becoming increasingly worried that there's something between my friend and I. I'd never date him, he feels the same way (we've actually been down that road briefly a couple years ago, with me developing feelings because I was lonely, and him not reciprocating, but we still remained good friends and the feelings have looooong since dissipated). So if anything would ever develop between us, it would have happened a while ago.
My boyfriend tells me he has no qualms with me hanging out with my friend, and he joins us frequently in chilling after classes. He knows I need friends besides just in my relationship, and says he's glad I have my friend to keep me company.
My friend's girlfriend doesn't see it this way. He doesn't have many other friends around here, so he's pretty much resigned, for the moment, to hang out with me, and we both really enjoy each others company, so I don't think we have much desire to change that. He's stubborn, and doesn't want to give in to his girlfriend, and I'd hate to lose him as a friend because of his girlfriend. Is there anything either of us could possibly do to convince her that this is absolutely 100% a friendship? | My best friend's girlfriend is suspicious of him hanging out with me, even though I'm also in a relationship, and we've been friends for years, long before he started dating his girlfriend. |
t3_4oxfyf | relationships | Me [13M] with my GF [13 F] Cant decide on what to do in this situation | Hello users i know as you can see in the title im quite young and ik what youre thinking, ''13 YEAR OLD MIDDLE SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP'' Yes i know i find this relationship to develop into a serious one (1 year relationship). I am a 4.0 GPA student and recently just got accepted into C.A.M.S but my girlfriend didnt apply, so that means we most likely will never see each other again.
She really misses me and cant stop telling me on how much she loves me. I want to change schools and go to the school she will go to so we can continue our relation ship. Do you guys think it would be worth it to take such a big sacrifice for a girl. Please help! | ! I got into a good high school and girlfriend didnt apply to it. Deciding whether i should change schools for her or not. |
t3_ja2pw | AskReddit | How do I handle my INCREDIBLY passive-aggressive roommate? | She is the friend of my friend (they both moved in together with me two months ago) and she is incredibly sensitive. She is also a total know-it-all and has to be right about every topic, all of the time. She regularly corrects my grammar and tells me that I'm wrong about one thing or another. She also refuses to speak about what is really bothering her and instead chooses to hide behind self-diagnosed excuses ("I have insomnia and bi-polar disorder and depression."). And today I get this, "I feel the soft anticipation of a confrontation I won't make." on facebook. She is 23 and this is her first time out on her own. I get that she's still in a high-school mindset but I moved out when I was 18 and I'm not ready to regress three years. | I have a roommate that acts like she's still a moody high school-er and I don't know how to deal with her shit. What do I do? |
t3_4durcr | Advice | I have a uncontrollable fear that is changing my life. Advice desperately needed. | For the past year of my life I have been utterly and complete depressed. This depression is streaming from my fear that I may have been contaminated with lead. I am not sure if this fear is rational and I should be afraid, or irrational. About a year ago I got a part time job at an this mechanics/car lot. I worked with 15 other people, moving cars in and around the lot and making sure they were in the right spots. The reason I am so worried is I know some of the tire weight they used at this shop were lead weights. I was able to see some of the lead weight here or there across the lot my fear which may be irrational comes from my fear that I may have brought some of that lead with me into my car and into my home on my clothes or shoes from being around it. Or got some in me from eating food or drinking coffee that was in or around the break room of the shop. Should I believe this fear may be irrational based on the doctors visits for a lead blood test, that they said was negative. I took it 6 months after quieting. Or the fact that theirs a lot of people that work there. I can not seem to say how much this fear has totally changed my life. I am someone who values learning and intelligence, and the idea that my part time job could have a harmful effect on my brain is driving me to a inescapable depression. I need someone to help me please if you can say anything I would appreciate it. | I worked at an auto parts car lot with lead weights. I have a debilitating fear that I may have brought lead dust home with me or ingested while there. |
t3_14oj7l | relationships | My GF (23F) of three years doesn't believe in marriage. I (24M) feel hurt. | My GF of three years doesn't believe in marriage. I feel hurt like if I was a better BF she would get butterflies at the thought of marrying me. This all happened over Thanksgiving when her and my families were over and I proposed to her at the table and she said, "Sorry I've always told you I don't believe in marriage." I know she grew up with a bad view of it because her parents are divorced. I just feel like if I was worth it, she would marry me. Is it possible that she doesn't love me and is just waiting for someone she does want to marry to come along? | Humiliating proposal at Thanksgiving turned down. I should have known because she always said she hates marriage. Makes me feel like she doesn't really love me. |
t3_4424q7 | tifu | TIFU by Lying About the Price of A Book | So a few years ago (AFYAIFU?), I went to a rare book store and found out they had a first edition copy of my favorite book in great condition with the dust jacket and all (it's from the 1940's). They wanted $200 for it, and since I didn't have the dinero on me at the moment I decided that I definitely must come back and purchase it sometime in the near future.
So I get home and my girlfriend at the time says, "you're a little later than I expected." So I explain that I ran by the bookstore. She asks if there was anything cool, I explain they have the first edition and that I kind of want to get it. She asks, "How much is it?"
Now I'm a little embarrassed to admit to her that I'm considering spending two Benjamins on a book, so I tell her that it was $100. No harm no foul, right? It's my money, and as long as I'm paying my half of the bills it shouldn't really matter, right?
Well for reasons I don't recall now, bills or forgetfulness probably, I ended up not going to get the book right away. So my birthday comes around and my girlfriend gives me my gift. I open it and find my first edition book inside. For about a half a second I feel pure elation, until I realized my fuck up.
No one wants to hear "I'm so sorry!" when you're opening a gift they got you. Especially when they planned on spending $100 on you and ended up feeling like an idiot at the check out counter and spending double...
There is a happy ending however, that girlfriend at the time is my wife today, so I guess I didn't fuck up too bad.
Moral of the story: Girls who are willing to get you expensive first editions of epic books, in spite of your idiocy, should be married post haste. | Told GF that the book I was going to buy was $100 when it was actually $200, GF then buys me said book as surprise for my birthday. |
t3_4nus4y | relationships | Me [28 M] with my _fiance__ [25 F] 6 years, I hate my future sister in law, she is ruining our wedding. | I need to get this off my chest. I hate my future sister in law. Our wedding is coming up early july and sis tells her parents that she will not be staying with them and her children will not be visiting because her dad smokes.
This has broken her mom and dad's heart. Her dad is a veteran and when they called to tell my fiancé what happened, we could hear her dad crying in the background.
My fiancé's parents now want nothing to do with sis and sis is the maid of honor. So they won't sit with her at the reception, sis is being forced into my family's table and they are planning on leaving as soon as the daddy daughter dance is over.
My fiancé wants to be traditional and have be apart the day and night before the wedding. She was going to stay at her parents but since they banned sis. I am now being kicked out of the house I pay rent for! I get to spend the day and night with her parents in a smoke filled house yuck.
I'm trying so hard to be nice to fiancé as I know it's not her fault and she has enough stress without me being upset with her but DAMN I hate her sister!! | Future sister in law is causing all kind of family drama right before our wedding and it's causing problems with our wedding. |
t3_4kn286 | Advice | My job has been beating around the bush to pay me for a good 2 months now. What do I do? | I've been working for a catering agency since February and I've only worked 3 shifts (I'm a student so I've been focusing more on studying for my exams). For my first shift I was paid within 8 days. However I worked my second shift and didn't get paid for the rest of the month. I didn't really know what was going on but I assumed I'd get paid within the month or sometime after, which I was sorta okay with.
So a month has passed and I still haven't been paid. However, they contact me and say that they needed to update their system because my payment wasn't going through. So I send my details again and they tell me I'll be paid asap. A few days later they contact me again to see if I was able to work another shift and I accepted it. I assumed that I'd get paid for that shift and the previous one in one go.. But that obviously didn't happen.
I contacted them 4 times now to inform them of what's happened. Every single time they tell me something along the lines of "we will look into it and chase after it", followed by "you will be paid by [insert next working week day here]". They also gave me their office number which (surprise, surprise!) no one seems to want to pick up.
One of my friends who worked the previous shift told me that he got paid within the next week of working. I contacted them again and they deny paying anyone and they were supposed to be paid [insert whatever date]. I feel like I'm being tricked or lied to by them and I've had enough. Any advice on what to do? Any legal action I can take against them? | my workplace are being funny about paying me. It's been around 2 months and I'm sick and tired of their games and I want to find any means necessary to get my money. |
t3_1bjiur | relationships | 19 [M] Having trouble with simplifying thoughts and not giving lectures to my 19 [F] girlfriend. | In a relationship for about a year 19 days from now
So to expand, We had a fight recently, which didn't escalate to yelling until the end. On the actual argument: She asked me if I believed I was Lutheran. I expanded on it, saying No I'm not, listing the reasons why, my problems with modern day christianity, and then my actual belief, which took me roughly 6 minutes to expand on entirely trying to drive home the points that I took out of it, and taking the important points and expanding exactly why I believed in it the way I did.
She responds that she really hates asking me questions because I do this a lot, expanding upon every single increment of analysis I can that is, and that she would like a partner that has a belief of a higher power and I sound a lot like an asshole atheist she hates.
My response was that I don't throw out the idea of a God being in existence, but rather think it non-consequential and that no matter what, as long as your not a terrible person, your good in my book.
Now on the context:
I do expand a lot on every question ever posed to me, and she hates asking me questions because when she does ask it turns into lecture time, rather than question time. I put a lot of thought into my answer and try my very hardest to make sure that it is all comprehensive to those who wish to understand. I have trouble with simplifying my thoughts especially if you ask me something that I've delved into a lot such as my faith and religion to find my core, etc. | Girlfriend upset that I give lectures for answers, I get upset that my opinion isn't heard to the extent I've given it thought. |
t3_31f86r | relationships | I[21/M] cheated on my girlfriend [23/F] of two years. What should my next step be? | I feel like the world's biggest asshole and hypocrite. I've never regretted anything more.
A few nights ago my house-mates and I threw a big party as a few of them were returning to Canada after a year of studying abroad with us in the UK. Everyone go very drunk and messy. I went into my room to go to sleep at ~3 a.m., but i couldn't because my room is right next to the living room and the music was too loud.
I went into my house mate's [20/F] room to ask if it was ok to sleep on the floor. She invited me to stay in her bed, so I did, and we ended up having sex. As far as I remember, she instigated it, but she also reminded me that I had a girlfriend, and that I shouldn't be doing what I was doing, so I don't blame her at all. In the morning we both agreed not to tell anybody, but that I could tell me girlfriend if I wanted.
That morning, after vomiting several times from too much alcohol, and with the worst hangover I've ever had in my life, I went to my gf's house. She knew something was wrong, and kept asking me what the problem was but I didn't tell her.I just said that I was hungover and couldn't think straight.
If I tell her I cheated, I know that she will be a wreck. We have so much trust in each other, and she has made it clear that she finds cheating disgusting, and that it is irreconcilable. However, she is not in a great place at the moment - She recently quit her job, and doesn't have too many friends, and isn't going to college - she stuck in a rut.
I feel like if I tell her now, and we break up, it might put her in a really awful situation. I'm pretty much the only emotional support that she has at the moment, and I don't know what she would do on her own (she already struggles with depression).
If anybody has any advice, I would really appreciate it. | Cheated on my gf. My gf isn't in a great place in her life already, so I feel like if I tell her it will make the situation a whole lot worse. What should I do? |
t3_1gce3u | weddingplanning | Dealing with unresponsive bridesmaids? | Apologies in advance if this gets a to be bit of a rant.
I'm the MOH in a wedding next weekend. The bride has been fantastic- super laid back, clearly communicates what she needs/expects, and has left a lot of the fashion choices up to the bridesmaids.
But the other bridesmaids have made planning impossible. We are all pretty young, and it wouldn't surprise me if this was everyones first time in a wedding. Given that I'm MOH (and been in a couple weddings and know the drill), I've tried to lead the group and get their input. Things like times and dates that work for them, or getting an idea for a reasonable bachelorette budget. I have contacted them numerous times, and I've rarely gotten a response. To complicate things further, I live 3,000 miles away.
I'm just really frustrated with the whole situation. No one has gotten back to me on what they can afford for the bachelorette or other misc expenses, and I have a feeling I'm going to end up eating the entire cost. But my biggest fear is getting so worked up about all this that the bride ends up noticing. The last thing I want is to cast a cloud over her day, and I've tried to avoid bringing up any bridesmaid issues. But I know if I say anything at the wedding or related events that it will get back to the bride. | Bridesmaids are completely unresponsive despite numerous attempts to plan wedding related things. Need advice on how to find some resolution without adding to the bride's stress. |
t3_2lx58c | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Coworker [19F] of about three months, should I get romantically involved? | I work at a restaurant/bar that is mostly staffed by college students. At the beginning of the year there is always a group of new hires when people graduate and start their real lives and students return for school. I mostly wait tables, but I work one day a week I work and train new hires in the sub shop/to go part of the restaurant (I'm not actually their superior, I'm just good at my job)
So at the beginning of the school year the restaurant hired a new girl in the sub shop, we'll call her Lauren. Lauren, like myself, is on the shyer, quieter side. I was the one who trained her, and I work with her a couple times a week. I've developed a pretty big crush on her, and I'm pretty sure, but not certain, it's mutual. she always laughs at my stupid jokes and makes lots of eye contact with me. We both go out of our ways to say bye when one or the other of us leaves.
At the same time, I had a birthday party the other weekend, I invited her, and she didn't come. I was a little bummed because I didn't hear from her until I drunk texted her that night. Drunk me lost my phone for the night after one text though (probably a good thing)
Really I just want to get to know her outside of work, and see if anything is there. I'm not worried about losing my job or anything over it, two of my managers, and good friends, are engaged and met at work. I could see how it might cause some drama, especially since I've turned down advances from a couple other female coworkers. I am worried that if she says no it may create some awkwardness. we work in pretty close proximity sometimes, and I don't want to make work uncomfortable for her.
I guess what I'm asking is should I ask her on a date, and If I should, what kind of place is good first date material? I haven't had any real relationship with a girl since high school, so I don't have much experience with this kind of stuff. | Interested in a girl at work, think it's mutual but not sure. Romantic relationship won't cost me my job. should I go for it? |
t3_2q2gkf | relationship_advice | F[19] Kissed my boyfriend [20] on the lips for the first time. Didn't feel right. Help? | Is this normal for someone who has never kissed someone before? because I'm flipping out.
I knew this guy for 4 years, liked him for 1.5 years, we've been dating for a month now. This whole time I never kissed him on the lips, but stuck to the cheek (good girl faith here..) and with the cheek I get turned on!
Im really attracted to him, and he's my best friend! But just last night we shared our first kiss and it was NOT what I was excepting.. It was wet and slobbery and he jammed in tongue right away; it was kinda gross to be honest. I felt SOME passion after we kissed more, but it wasn't how I expected it to be.
Its kind of making me worried that I don't mentally have interest in this guy. Because although I felt some passion, sparks didn't fly.
I only kissed one guy before when I was 13 and it was a little peck, and that really made my head spin. But the guy wasn't for me at all.
Now I have this sweet, first boyfriend, and I'm afraid everything's ruined because it didn't feel the same as my first.
What do I do? Please give insight and experienced you had ! | Kissed boyfriend on lips for first time, not much passion and felt sorta gross. Afraid I mentally don't like him. I just want to know if this is normal for first kissers? |
t3_4tt8a7 | relationships | I [20M], confident with my looks and body, don't know how to approach women. | How do I approach a women I like? Like when getting to know someone for the first time, how do I take it to the next level? My convos always seems to be about daily regular stuff, and I can't seem to take it from there.
I don't think it comes down to my looks. I think I look fairly decent, dress good, am 6 feet and in decent shape. I try to keep good posture, always maintain eye contact when speaking to someone and overall keeps a good hygiene. I think most people would be surprised to hear that I'm still a virgin. I'm not the most comfortable around women but I'm not that awkward either.
When speaking with a girl I like and the conversation seems to die out, I always say some stupid/silly shit just to be funny/provocative and keep the conversation going. I would like to let the girl know I'm into her but I don't know how to carry out.
Please share your experiences and thoughts, feels like I'm stuck. | Don't know how to approach women, confident with my looks but can't seem to take the conversation to the next level. |
t3_ccrd0 | self | How a not so sneaky husband, surprised his wife | Long time lurker, just giving a self pat on the back.
I am in no way a sneaky person. I bust myself out all the time. Also, my wife makes all the plans, all details; I execute the plans and make everything work. This works out good for us. This all came together last week.
So right under her nose I made the BEST PLANS EVER. See when we got married, my wife wanted to elope to Vegas and have ELVIS preside. She loves 50's music and it seemed lake something fun. Well anyways, her mom talked her down (threatened banishment from the family if I remember correctly).
Well 5 years later I not only paid for the trip without getting busted. I packed our cloths, scheduled time off of work with her boss, and contacted her manicurist to have him speed that process up so she would be there on time. Nobody busted me out!
We both work downtown Chicago and my work is between hers and where she had the appointment. I asked her to stop by when she was done. She showed up, I said hay lets ditch the rest of the day. She knew something was up when I drove north to O'Hare (we are from the South side). When I parked I finally showed her the Itinerary and floored her.
So here is a pic of my wife and I getting married by Elvis
<a href=" title="ELVIS"> .
All the while I have been building a tree house for my son. I just got it built before his birthday. And yes I know there is still a lot to do before I finish that one.
<a href=" title="Tree house"> | Wife said she wanted to get married in Vegas by Elvis, 5 years later her not so sneaky husband made all the plans behind her back. |
t3_2j633x | relationships | Me [26 M] with my crush [20 F] 1month, don't know how to proceed | i've been seeing this girl around for the past 8 months or so and i found her really attractive. but i was attached so i didnt talk to her until recently.
we've been talking for awhile now but i cant seem to get a read on if shes interested or not. i dont know if i should try asking her out or not...
also since we're in the midst of exams now, would it be bad to wait until next year before asking her out? she lives in another state and will be going back soon after exams...i dont want to get friendzone from waiting too long to ask her out | crush on her. seem to beable to click..but shes a really nice person so i am unclear if shes just being nice or is interested... |
t3_3dc0rr | relationships | I [18/F] may be in love with my guy bestfriend [20/M] but I have a boyfriend [20/M]. Help? | So, here goes.
I'm a college student in a university here in our country. (Hint: It's somewhere in SEA) And my college life is filled with lots of people, male, female, trans and everything else. I've always been sought after, for some weird reason. Like, in between my relationships, which would usually last for 6 months to 2 years, there would guys and girls expressing their interest for me. People tend to find me as somewhat 'cute' and 'attractive?' Though of course this is highly subjective and debatable.
So, after a couple of months having random dates with different guys. I landed in a relationship with this guy [20/M], a graduate from another university. He's very nice and friendly. He had lots of friends, male and female. He is also very passionate about things that inspire him the most, like changing society, activism and stuff like that. I liked him because we were very much on the same level regarding certain things. My only problem with him is that I would always feel lonely when I talk to him. I'm always looking for something in him that I think I'll never find.
And the other guy, my bestfriend [20/M], is a graduate from my university. We've been bestfriends for two years now. He's my go-to guy whenever I drink alone, which I usually do when I'm stressed. We would be talking about things like politics and philosophy, horror and comedy, everything. We hanged-out a lot when he was still a senior in our university and laugh about things, even joke about porn. I even told him I liked him in one of our drunken nights together. Also, we never got sexual or anything. When he'd accompany me home, we usually just hold hands or hug when we say goodbye.
Now, my relationship with my boyfriend is really awkward. I asked him if he felt weird when he's around my bestfriend and he tells me that he feels fine with him. | I want to end it with my boyfriend and risk my friendship with my bestfriend for something deeper and less platonic. But I don't know if it's the best/most rational idea. Please, thoughts are welcome. |
t3_4szkmn | relationships | Found my wife's goodreads account and every book she reads is a romance between a white man and black woman. We're both Asian (29F, 28M) | Been with my wife 3 years, married for 1.5. My wife is addicted to her e-reader and always has been, but I've never actually known what she's been reading. She's very protective over her e-reader, it's password protected and everything. In my stupidity, I left my phone and computer at work last night. I asked my wife if I could use her laptop to check my emails, which she had no issues with as we normally use each other's things. I typed in "g" to get to gmail but goodreads came up. I feel so ashamed for snooping but I followed it and was lead to her goodreads account, which she had the password saved. She had 200+ books on her shelf and literally every single one is a romance novel with a black woman and a white man. We are both Asian (Chinese-American to be specific). I quickly exited out and cleared the history before she got out of the shower. I've been thinking about this all day. I'm not joking when I say that every single book on her shelf was a black woman/white man love story. I'm seriously confused, should I even bring this up with her? I'm not afraid of her cheating or anything but I feel like this is so bizarre. | it's in the title. Wife and I are both Asian but she's apparently obsessed with white man/black woman romance novels. Do I bring this up to her? Do I ignore it? |
t3_374h8u | relationships | I [f21] feel depressed when ever i'm not with my boyfriend[22] | I love my boyfriend, very much. I love being with him, I love spending time with him. I live like two houses away from him, so I pretty much see him almost every day.
So here's the problem: whenever i'm not with him, I feel depressed. I feel like life has no meaning, (i know it sounds a little exaggerated, but that's how it feels like sometimes.) All I do is think about him all day, waiting for him to text me or until i get to see him. I count down the hours, minutes until i see him again. Whenever he hangs out with his buddies, i get extremely jealous and sad. Whenever he doesn't text me back for more than three hours, I get sad. And now that summer is here, I have nothing to do all day besides think of him and want to be with him.
Before I could go a week without seeing him and I was okay. Now i can't even go a day without feeling anxious and nervous.. I don't know how to explain that feeling.
Anyway, my question is, how can I get over this? I love him very much, and i don't wanna lose him simply because i'm too clingy or psycho/jealous. please help, I know I need to get my shit together and be happy again, but I don't know exactly how to do this. | how to not think of my bf 24/7 and how to be happy even when i'm not with him. |
t3_vzso3 | AskReddit | I work at a grocery store. I like my job, it's feeding me during my years at college, but I can't seem to DO IT RIGHT. Help me. | My problem is strange, I can't seem to grasp the essence of it myself. Let me begin by saying I really do like working there, it's better than anywhere else I've worked, I like my co-workers and the pay's good. I even have a crush on one of the regular customers, so it's all really good.
However - I can't seem to get my bearings straight. This has been a problem everywhere I've worked - I forget or mishear instructions, I can't focus, and I'm so afraid of this becoming apparent to all my fellow employees that I might lock myself in a vicous circle of fear and stagnation. I have absolutely no desire to be this way, it isn't some sort of youthful rebellion against authority, I'm not lazy (even though I fear I might seem so), I just don't understand half the instructions I'm given and if I ask for better explainations I get something that sounds about the same, and so on. It doesn't improve the matter that a few of those in charge (next in line from the boss) are foreign and don't speak the language very well, and I don't always understand what they mean, but realize they are unable to explain it better. Worsening matters further - my boss thinks these foreign dudes are educating me on how to do the work I'm assigned, but they're not. They're confusing me, and I don't know how to bring it up. I feel lost, kinda. I want to do this job properly, but morals/principles/fear/futility makes it hard. | Unable to follow instructions at work, fearing this may lead to everyone else despising me there. I do my best with what I'm taught but it's not enough. |
t3_4jrs9v | relationships | Fiancé [28M] wants his mom [58F] to make my [23F] engagement ring. I do not. | I feel really bitchy complaining about this, after all some people never get to have a diamond ring. But, I really don't want his mom to make the engagement ring he gives me, I'll have to wear it everyday for the rest of my life. And it's supposed to be a symbol of our love, not hers. But anytime I try to subtely bring it up he isn't receptive.
The main reason is I really don't want a reminder of her on my finger everyday. It's supposed to be of him. I'm not close with her, when I am around her she makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I feel like she doesn't like me (I don't think it's personal, she wouldn't like anyone with her son.)
Secondary reasons are 1. I feel like she already butts into our life. She shows up at our home with very little notice and expects to stay nights at a time, she gave us lots of pictures of her to hang up, insisted we share hotels rooms with her, insisted we decorate our home how she wants, redid the garden I had done while I was at work, is already talking about how she's going to decorate our wedding, ect. And the last reason is I've seen rings she made for other family members and they were just plain hideous. Asymmetrical, lumpy, just bad.
I don't want to straight up tell my boyfriend that I don't like his mother and that her rings are ugly, that's mean and not a can of worms I want to open. Or hurt anyone's feelings. But, when I just sort of hint at it, he doesn't seem to get what I'm saying. Do you have any ideas how I could softly explain it to him? Or should I just stop whining and accept it as is? | Future MIL wants to make my engangment ring. Boyfriend is on board with idea. I hate it, but don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. |
t3_2cknh7 | relationship_advice | Am I [25/M] or my gf [25/F] being unreasonable regarding my ex [26/F]? | My long distance girlfriend has developed a powerful revulsion to my ex, who lives in the same area as me and has many mutual friends in common. As a consequence, it is very difficult for me to avoid ever hanging out with my ex, as she usually gets invited to the same events / trips / hangouts that I do, via our mutual friends. Unfortunately, my current gf has a no-tolerance policy for this. I've found it very difficult both logistically and psychologically to ensure I never end up indirectly hanging out with my ex. My gf believes I should be able/willing for her to ensure this never happens. To do this, I'd have to ask my ex to forsake our mutual friends and go find new friends, or ask our mutual friends to go out of their way to never invite me or my ex to the same thing, while not neglecting either of us (or go all-out and just ask them to exile my ex completely). Or finally, I'd have to just constantly decline any event my ex was invited to and always pre-arrange my own hang-outs with those friends without my ex any time I want to see them (this is what I have been doing for a few months now, but unfortunately it's made me miserable). All of these options seem unreasonable to me, but I don't know if I'm being clear-headed about it.
What do you all think? what is reasonable vs. unreasonable? My gf feels like if I disagree, I'm valuing those friends above her. I don't feel like that's true... I'm just not happy feeling shackled and constrained (in addition to it being harder to see some of my friends). There's a ton more back-story, but I didn't want to write a novel in the first post. | Is it reasonable for my gf to expect me to never indirectly hang out with my ex, given that my ex and I share a lot of mutual friends in common? |
t3_1a18o8 | loseit | Pizza | I know one of the things that I miss most when dieting is pizza. From reading everyone else's posts, it sounds like pizza is a pretty common craving. I have been trying for months to find pizza that I can eat without setting myself up for failure. (This is mostly relevant to people in the U.S. I do believe.) Anyway, Pizza Hut, Domino's, and many other chains are no good for me. If I have a slice, even within my caloric limits, for some reason I end up bloating up like a toad and retaining a ton of water weight. Every time I've done it, it always ends up setting me back for at least three or four days, and sometimes for a whole week. Well, the last three weekends I've had two slices of Papa Murphy's Take n Bake pizza, different ones from their D'lite line. It's around 200 calories per slice, easy to work into a caloric allowance, really thin crust, and it's delicious. Best of all, I have not experienced ANY water retention or slowed weight loss. We're all different and you may not react the same way, etc. etc. etc. but I wanted to share my experience in case anyone else could benefit. | Papa Murphy's take n bake D'lite pizzas are less bad for you than other pizzas in my opinion. |
t3_1n1a7h | relationships | [26M] My friend/crush [26F] started dating someone else, but hasn't told me they're dating. I don't know how to act around her anymore. | So I [26M] started hanging out with this girl [26F] about 2 months ago. We've become close friends, spend a lot of one-on-one time together, and I've developed some serious feelings for her. We've been flirty with each other, so I know there's been at least *some* level of attraction between us.
Now, when I realized I liked her, I worked up the courage to ask her out, only to witness some other guy ask her out instead (from behind a window, they didn't know I was there). I've also seen them hanging out together and hugging/kissing... again, without them knowing I was there (not stalking... my office just has a lot of windows).
Now, obviously I waited too long to ask her out and I fucked up, I know that. But the previous details are important, because for the last 3 weeks I've known that they were dating, but she has kept it really hidden from me. She never brings it up, and the one time we actually *ran into him while we were together*, she told me after he left that, "Oh, AAAA comes and visits our office sometimes because he uses our equipment," failing to mention anything about a possible relationship.
So I guess my question is... what the fuck is going on, and how can I act in this situation to have any future chance with this girl should her current relationship fail? Should I just keep flirting with her as if nothing had happened, or should I just own up to knowing about her dating life? | I know she's going out with this guy, but she won't mention anything about it. How am I supposed to behave in this weird situation? |
t3_2gwqb3 | tifu | TIFU by smoking in the school parking lot before football game. | So me and my buddy were sitting in my car I just lit a cigarette and was smoking it. We passed it like twice and a couple little girls ran up to my car. They said "Got them!". And then their Dad yelled to them good job. I passed it off as they were just racing.
So, we just kept smoking and thinking nothing. Then I got pretty scared feeling thinking the dude and his kids were really talking about us. So I hurry up to get out of the car, got my phone got out. I turned and started walking for the stadium entrance, and a police officer was on top of me. He gave me a big shit pounding (lecture and threats) being tham I am under age. He called my Dad and kicked me out of the game. He got my name and number and told me he would be in touch. So now I am really worried ill be getting a Minor in Possesion. | got caught smoking in my car thanks to some little girls, a cop came and I think im gonna get an MIP. |
t3_2e043d | tifu | TIFU by gingerly tossing my phone on the couch | Everyday when I come home from work, I lightly toss my phone across the room onto the couch, where I intend to sit once I take my pants off. I do this to keep a flow and to save time. I have done this so many times, I have the method, spin, speed, and distance fairly perfect. I realize this is unnecessary.
This time I put a little too much zing on the toss and the phone spiraled 1 foot above my target. It hit the wall just above my couch and dropped behind. My firth thought was oh crap, I hope it isn't busted, that would suck. So I go over to the couch and look behind.
There is about a 2 inch gap between the wall and my couch. I can see it at the bottom, along with 4 years of junk that has somehow collected behind the couch. Half eaten shoes (my jerk dog), candy wrappers, flip flops, socks, a soda can, padded envelopes etc. My couch is quite large and hard to move, so I have to get a broom to sweep the phone to the side a little since I cant fit my arm down. This doesn't work, so I get my wife to help me move the couch.
With some extra help, I move the couch a few inches away and can reach down. I grab the phone and it is unharmed. Sweet.
I look over to my wife, who goes from looking down the crevasse to looking at me. She is hovering over the space where I have been sitting for the past 4 years, with her jaw dropped. I look down and see a bunch of small white/ivory colored pieces of something on the ground. I look closer and it is a giant pile, about 10 inches wide. I reach down to touch them and pick one up.
4 years of finger and toe nail clippings that I have dumped behind the couch while sitting in my spot. It makes it worse because her 1 pet peave is me picking my toe nails on the couch. Now she knows where the clippings went. She was pissed. | TIFU by accidentally throwing my phone behind the couch and subsequently revealing my horde of toenail clippings. |
t3_uz568 | AskReddit | Reddit, for the past 4 months I haven't received a single job offer? What can I do to improve my chances? | A little background.. I am 24, a sophomore at Georgia Gwinnett College. I currently work at Home Depot. I am ready to leave Home Depot, but I have been looking for jobs online without much luck. I had my resume revised by the career center at my college and they said it was impressive, especially for the time and what I have done in the past (which are various jobs with my 6+ years at Home Depot).
I understand that the job market is pretty tough right now, so I am sticking through as long as I can. But today I realized that Home Depot is NOT the place for me anymore and I am ready to try something new, that is not retail.
Side tracked here: I were these stupid badges that say I speak Spanish, Portuguese and French on my apron at work. A lady was asking me how I know how to speak all those langauges, and then she tested me (She was from Haiti, and we have a full blown converstation in French.) and asked me "Why, someone like me that knows multiple languages, is stuck working at Home Depot?" That's where I started to wonder that I can use my skill at something a little less "retaily" and something with better pay.
Back to my story.. I know that I am going to do great things in my life considering that I am going to school maintaining at 3.81 GPA in International Business **and** Finance. I want to prove that I can do it, and that I will be succesful in life, and I cannot do that at Home Depot.
So AskReddit, what options do I have so that I can take my career to the next level where I know I can be at?
and just in case... | I am a 24 year sophomore working at a dead end job, that knows he can be successful and his current employer is not the place, what can I do in order to get to the level that I know I can be at? |
t3_11brbz | AskReddit | What was Reddit's first kiss? | I'm looking for a variety of stories, as I should probably tell my story. It was my first girlfriend ever. I was 16 and she was 17. We were at my house. It was about 9-10 and she had to leave to go home. I was hugging her up against her giant purple mini van in the middle of my street and she just swooped in for the kiss. I was completely shocked at this, but I really liked it. We continued for a solid 20 minutes on and off again but people just kept coming outside. It was guys night at my house so my uncle had a few friends over along with a couple of my cousins. Every time I went to kiss her it seemed like another person was coming in or leaving. Oh and I can't forget that it was my first kiss, I was probably terrible at it as she kept stopping and laughing at my mistakes. When I went back into my house I got yelled at because she was suppose to leave at 7 and my aunt(who I lived with) wanted me back in the house. I was all worth it. | Most of my family watched me make out with my first girlfriend up against her purple mini van in the middle of the street. Then I got in trouble. |
t3_1r4w6o | relationship_advice | My [25m] awesome new Internet girlfriend [26f] is very overweight | We've been talking for a week, and we're pretty much perfect for each other. It's moved very fast, and because she seems so awesome if she were thin I would put a ring on it so fast her hand would get whiplash. (obviously a bit of hyperbole)
But she mentioned that she's about 20 pounds overweight, so I asked her for a representative picture. She's pretty short, so the 20 pounds look like 50. She's not a whale by any means, but the weight significantly diminishes my physical attraction toward her.
Now, she's an amazing girl, and I think we might have something worth keeping. But can someone PLEASE give me some reinforcement that her weight is not that important? I'm struggling with it in my head, and we're meeting for the first time soon. I should also mention that she has been working out for several weeks, now (running), which indicates to me that she wants to change, and she has also said as much.
We also won't be having sex very soon because of her religious views, which is fine with me, so all I'll "have" to do until she's at a healthy weight again is kiss/hug, etc. | My awesome new internet girlfriend is very overweight, and while she is working on it, my brain is flipping into panic-mode. Please provide some stabilizing words, if possible... |
t3_3g0pgw | relationships | (18 M) feeling confused about the state of personality of my (18 F) girlfriend | I recently got together with her 2 months ago, she likes me and I like her. We text everyday and our convos are pretty normal and joke filled
Anyways, the way she acts is joking and playing 90% of the time. She's so negative too, a lot of instances where she's like "I'll love you forever if you got me this.... Or until we break up" like it bothers me so much. She also has said she doesn't want to have sex right now, I don't have a problem with that but she says sometimes that she doesn't see me doing anything sexual and it just kills me because why do you have the need to hurt the way i see myself?
She's also constantly poking fun at my negative flaws. She's not an affectionate type and that really kills me too, but she has her moments when she grabs me and cuddles with, or gives me a kiss sometimes. I've communicated with her to stop joking around and tell me straight Up and it's not really been affected as much . I have no idea what to do, I like her but I feel like she's doing a lot of wrongs in the way she treats me sometimes. | Gf of 2 months has a "mean" personality is very negative and constantly poking fun at negative aspects of my life, communication is weak at times but we have our moments of affection. |
t3_2t07w9 | relationships | Me (23/F) curious/concerned about boyfriend's past (32/m) | Hello all! This is the first time I've posted in here so please bear with me while I try to explain the situation. I'll start from the beginning.
I started dating my boyfriend back in September. We met on a dating site (ugh, hate admitting it but that is the way of the world now). On his profile, he said he was 28 with no kids, and with me being 22 with none, that was just fine with me. We started seeing each other quite frequently and about 3 weeks into it, he tells me he lied about his age and that he has a son (4 yrs old). He told me he understood if I didn't want to see him anymore, but I told him it was alright.
Anyway, so we've been together since (4 months) and I see him at least a few times a week. I haven't met his son, but I've stayed over at his place with his son in the next room. It makes me uncomfortable, but that's beside the point. I don't know the story behind his baby's mother and I feel that at this point in the relationship, it's going to drive me nuts until he tells me. How do I bring something like that up? I've been digging away at his past recently (he's very secretive), but I just wish he was more open. I also want to meet his son, but I know that will come when he's ready. I've obviously never been in this situation before, so any tips/advice? I could go on forever talking about this but I think it's just best to stop there. | I'm dating a guy who lied about his age/child in the beginning, now just want to figure out how to get him to tell me about his past/open up. |
t3_nbs6y | AskReddit | Why are books more credible than Wikipedia? | There is more to it than the title, but I wanted to get you in here all pissed and ready for some discourse.
Roommate and I are having a discussion about why Universities don't allow Wikipedia as a source, despite its frequent editing and citation requirements. We've looked at academic sources on the matter and there isn't really a "THIS IS THE ANSWER" type statement that satisfies our discussion.
We've discussed the following:
*A book that prints an error is much harder to change than a Wikipedia article.
*However, books are typically edited, meaning less errors fall through.
*Wikipedia articles can be changed by anyone.
*Wikipedia has a high rate of error catching. (One peer-reviewed article said something like 42% of the time the catch is virtually immediate. However, there are still hundreds of millions of "damaged views")
What we found is that there is an abundance of research on the reliability of Wikipedia, but it is almost split 50/50 on whether or not it is acceptable.
However, we find much less when we try to search for the credibility of books. | Books are impossible to change but often edited by (an) informed peer(s). Wikipedia is easily changed but peer review can be suspect. |
t3_3zdxu9 | relationships | Me (15/M) and gf of 6 months (15/F) feel like she doesn't acknowledge our relationship for what it is and makes me feel really bad sometimes. | Alright so ive (15/M) been with my girlfriend (15/M)for almost six months, bt i feel our relationship has some problems and its (not being a jerk) her fault. There are 3 main problems.
#1 is that shes embarrassed of me in front of other people. We havnt kissed yet, but we hug sometimes, but never in front of others, she wont even sit with me if other people are around. Sometimes i get pushed away if too close and it emotionally hurts.
#2 is that she insults me a lot. She always tells me to shutup, even if no ones talking and im not inturrpting or anything. She calls me names and shit, some of which are personal and hurt, and she gets angry easy and yells at me. But these are all unprovoked and when i talk to her about it, she says shes joking, then ignores further comments, which brings me to the next one.
#3 is that whenever i go to talk about something personal, about us or myself, she pretty much ignores me or changes the subject.
Its just, i really love this girl, and i dont know why shes like this. I treat her nice, i buy her stuff, i dont lie to her, i remember everything about her and listen to and do what she says. But i just dont know what to do.
Any advice/tips/comments? | My girlfriend is embarrassed around me, insults me frequently and doesn't talk about things. Don't no what to do need help. |
t3_51r0yv | relationships | How can I [25f] motivate my boyfriend [26m] to look for a job? | I just finished grad school and we moved back in with my dad until we can both find jobs. We're both looking, but he's not looking as hard as he should be. He keeps pinning all his hopes on specific jobs and then getting unmotivated about continuing to apply.
We can both do better in looking for work, but I'm worried because he isn't very excited about the process and doesn't have a positive outlook on his future career prospects. It's been a month since we moved back in with my dad, and he's applied to maybe three or four jobs in this time. (For comparison, I apply to 9-10 jobs a week and also worked part-time temporarily for a couple weeks.)
I've tried sitting down with him and applying to jobs, looking over cover letters, and sending him listings. I've also tried telling him "let's both apply to three jobs today!" and have even gotten him to agree to apply to X number of jobs, and then he never follows through. His lack of motivation is rubbing off on me, too. It's a bad cycle. What can I do to break it? | boyfriend and I need jobs; he isn't making a huge effort to apply. How can I motivate him/convince him to be more active in his job search? |
t3_2cvu44 | relationships | I [25F] am tired of always being in the friends/sex zone. | I have been single and in the dating world since I was 19 years old. I have had one "real" relationship and that was in high school. Ever since then I have wanted to find a new boyfriend, but I have never been successful. I believe that I am reasonably attractive as I do get asked out on dates (through online dating) and guys do flirt with me. Over time, I have become more attracted to older men and that has become my preference. However, I tend to be stuck in a rut where someone seems to be interested in me and I think we're going somewhere until we have "the talk." The conversation is always some variation of I think you're fun, sexy, intelligent, and a great woman BUT I don't want to date you. Then they ask if we can be fuck buddies.
I don't want a fuck buddy. I got tired of that very quickly when I was in college. I think it's a waste of time and I want to start building a meaningful relationship built around loving another person and maybe eventually starting a family. I keep getting lead on by guys who say they are looking for a relationship and I am getting discouraged. I've started to consider changing everything about myself to be the most attractive woman and candidate but it makes me very emotional whenever I think about it. I want someone to like me for who I am not who I think they want me to be. I really need some help with this because it's causing a lot of emotional stress for me. | I'm a 25F who wants a longterm relationship instead of being the woman guys want to sleep with me. How can I achieve this without compromising who I am? |
t3_2rqwxf | loseit | Any ideas for me on how to lose 10-12 pounds that just will not go away? (F/28/5'10/167 lb currently) | I have been struggling to lose these last 10 pounds or so for at least a year, and although my weight will dip down to about 162 if I work out 4 times each week and eat about 1400 calories a day, I just cannot get back to my goal weight of 155. I weighed 155 from the years of 18-24, but started gaining about 4-5 pounds each year after that. I finally went up to about 175, and my husband expressed that he was getting worried about my weight, and I was getting frustrated with buying clothes all the time and not really feeling attractive.
Anyway, I currently exercise 2-4 times each week for 30 minutes, incorporate HIT and weight lifting, eat about 1400 calories daily from predominantly whole foods, and do indulge in about 1 alcoholic drink (usually vodka with diet tonic water, or a glass of wine) every night.
I am tempted to cut calories further, increase gym time, or just completely give up alcohol and most carbs, but I don't feel like that is sustainable for me long term, and I'd like to stay at about 155 long term (assuming I ever reach this goal).
My husband is naturally very thin, so he eats a ton and has a drink every night, so it makes it more difficult to be super clean at my house, as I still cook for him and then make my own (modified) meals on the side. He needs about 3500 calories a day to sustain his weight (6'5 and 185 pounds), when he doesn't work out, and about 4000-4500 calories on days he does exercise. | Any suggestions on how to lose the last 10 or so pounds, especially when I live and cook for my husband, who needs almost three times as many calories as I do to maintain his weight? |
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