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t3_12ovl8 | relationships | I [20F] feel weird uncomfortable whenever a guy shows interest in me, even if I like them - what's going on? | I tried posting this in TwoX, but no one responded.
I'm a 20 year old female, I feel like I am pretty self-confident and I enjoy meeting new people, although I can be shy at first.
So, I haven't dated in a few months, I think this is like, 6 or 7 months being single (which I'm fine with!).
However, I went to a party on friday and met a pretty cute, really friendly and interesting guy. He was the first guy since my last relationship that I had even been remotely interested in. Anyway, so he ends up adding me on facebook and we've been talking a lot.
Here's the issue.
Whenever a guy I'm interested in shows interest back, I immediately feel strange and uncomfortable, and want to ignore him. I've only been in a relationship with two guys before, and it happened with both of them too. My first boyfriend I dated for a year and a half and it took a few MONTHS for this feeling to go away. It would come and go. With my second boyfriend, who I dated for only a few months, I was INCREDIBLY attracted to him (I'm pretty sure we dated solely based on attraction, but whatever) and the same thing happened when I realized he liked me.
I wanted to pull away, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want him touching me, etc. So now, once again, as soon as I realized this guy was actually interested, I wanted to ignore him.
What is going on with me? I've worked through it before and I know it eventually goes away, but I want to know why I feel this way! | Even if I really like a guy, as soon as I realize he's interested in me, I get freaked out and feel uncomfortable. |
t3_25aykb | relationships | Fell in love with girl on the side [M19] (4 year relationship) both girls F19 | I spent some years with a girl that I truly love (let's call her Susan for anonymity purposes). I cheated on Susan with another girl (let's call her Amy) and now I love this girl. Me and Amy basically had a relationship. We slept together every night, we talked about everything, we talked about problems we had in each others lives, we comforted each other and we're there for each other. This went on for about 4 months in secret. No one really knew except for a couple of my closest friends. Some people had some suspicion but no one actually knew. It got to the point where we fell in love. We we're emotionally and physically attached. Because of someone's suspicion (I have no clue) they told my Susan. I denied that anything was going on. She gave me the benefit of the doubt and I went back to doing everything in was doing. Amy and I would sometimes argue about me leaving Susan to be with her "if you loved me like you say you do why do you need her?" I hated what I was doing to both Susan and Amy because I genuinely do love both of them. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I told Susan that I cheated and that I loved Amy. I told her everything thay happened. Now Susan doesn't know if she wants to be with me or not because she doesn't know if she'll be able to get over it. Amy on the other hand says she is willing to wait for me through this situation even if i try to work it out and things go sour. I'm confused as to whether I should try to work it out with Susan or not. I guess I just don't want to feel that if I chose the girl I was with for 4 years I would always have the "what-if" feeling of what Amy and I could have been. But I don't want to leave Susan to be with Amy and have that not work out and then basically have lost everything. Also, I don't want Amy to feel like I look at her as a second option if I me and Susan don't work out. Should I take that chance with Amy? Should I just stick with Susan? Please help. | Was In 4 year relationship. Cheated for about 4 months and fell in love. Told girlfriend. Don't know if I should be with girlfriend or new girl. |
t3_2lwpey | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [19 F] of 2.5 years, want to break up but don't know what to say | Slowly been falling away from my girlfriend internally for a few months now, want to break up because i don't really want a relationship anymore/have grown apart from her/i'm not happy in this relationship. We are both at different unis (1/2 hours apart) and i know deep down i need to do it because im not happy anymore, but i dont know how. She loves me and i dont love her, and she has never done anything wrong, it's just that i dont want a girlfriend anymore and i feel trapped. However i can't muster up the courage to do it because i don't want to break her heart when she's been so good to me. I feel terrible about the whole situation.
She's already started asking about what we're going to do for Christmas but I don't want us to still be going out by then, I feel like i need space and the longer i leave it the worse I am feeling. I feel guilty for feeling this way but I can't help how I feel.
I'm planning on seeing her this weekend to do it, but if I surprise her by visiting and then break up then I feel the change from happiness to sadness will be too much. If I tell her that I'm coming beforehand because I need to talk, she'll know something is wrong and ask me beforehand whether I'm coming to breakup or not. I don't want to lie to her but I would rather do this all face to face as it's the right thing to do (in this situation). | want to break up with girlfriend but I dont know how/what/when to say without breaking her heart. What do I do? |
t3_1pfbv9 | relationship_advice | (23f) wondering if I should spend Christmas with my family like I always do.. Or spend the holiday in a different state with my boyfriend(28m) of 3 years? | Hello, I hope I'm posting in the right sub. Feel free to redirect me
I (23f) live at home with my family, and have a boyfriend(28m) of 3 years. His family lives two states away so we don't see much of them throughout the year. The last 2 Christmas we spent at my place with my family, usually because he couldn't get the time off work to visit his family. This year, he has the opportunity to go to see his family for Christmas and he wants me to travel with him.
Here's the thing, in a perfect world I would like to spend the holidays with my family and my boyfriend all together. But I obviously have to choose one or the other. I would love to go with my boyfriend but I'm already feeling guilty at the thought of not being with my family for Christmas. I don't want to feel guilty or sad on Christmas for not being with my family (they will obviously guilt trip me even more). If I stay home with my family that will be great, but I know I won't be happy because my boyfriend won't be with me. I feel like either one I choose, I'm not going to be 100% happy. I've never spent a holiday without my family. My family is always together during the holidays. I just don't know how to go about handling this.
I feel like I should be fair and spend Christmas with my boyfriends family, since he's spent every holiday with my family and I (out of default). But then I think, well we aren't even engaged so I'm not obligated in any way to travel and leave my family to spend Christmas with his family. But I can't stand the thought of being without him on Christmas (he would be gone a whole week). We are getting married at some point in the future, so maybe I should just keep spending the holidays with my family until we get engaged/married. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Advice? | should I spend Christmas with my family like I always do? Or spend the holiday with my boyfriend of 3 years? |
t3_1oxk8a | relationships | Officially got closure with my ex [19/f] this afternoon, but I [23/m] am starting to feel a little shitty. | So, we officially broke up two weeks ago, and this was the most serious relationship I'd ever been in. Granted, things were kinda on a slant at the end, which I was denying a little bit and trying to make things better. It wasn't this entirely out of the blue thing, and it wasn't so much "getting dumped" as it was mutually understand, but kinda more on her end then mine. It really sucked to lose my lover *and* my best friend simultaneously. The break-up wasn't messy, but things were a bit ambiguous in the end, just establishing that we needed time apart, leaving me a bit unsure if it was a "break" or a "break-up".
So, I dealt with it, and it was really rough for a while, but after talking with a lot of people, I got my shit together and decided that I wanted either a) closure or b) to get back together.
So, I called her, asked to meet up (I had some things of hers to return too), and we grabbed coffee and talked. Obviously, things didn't go exactly as I'd hoped they would, but it was cathartic. It felt good to see her, even if it wasn't what I really wanted in the end. I got home and felt pretty decent for a while, but now I feel bad.
I know how she is (liberated woman, college, likes to party), but it's just little things that kinda keep pinging that knot in my stomach like "I don't think we could have fixed it if we tried" and "I feel like being alone for a bit" and "I don't feel bad talking to other guys anymore". It's just that ouch of I feel like she moved on really quickly and, obviously, thoughts of her sleeping with other guys sucks too, on top of my awkward ass not getting laid any more (maybe a bit of a jealousy issue :/).
It's nice to have my friend back and not have our friend group be broken as it was when we weren't talking, but it's still a little sorer than I thought I'd be. | Got closure, felt good. Time set in and I now feel shitty and awkward and lonely, but still better than it was. |
t3_2bsbbw | Parenting | My parents let my drug addict cousin move into their home. When should I tell them that I don't want my future son around my cousin? (Wife Due Nov 1st) | So I have this cousin on my mothers side who has been in and out of prison as long as I can remember. He's 34 years old and is always in and out of the system for drug related crimes. Sometimes it's possession, sometimes it's dealing, and sometimes it's stealing to get a fix. As far as my knowledge goes he's not really violent but he is very desperate and he has tried many times to get back on his feet only to end up back in his old habits.
He most recently got out of prison a year ago. Our uncle ran into him shortly after at the grocery store and my uncle said my cousin was so drugged he didn't even recognize my uncle. My uncle passed away shortly after from lung cancer. My uncle always lived with my grandparents.
Well now that my uncle is gone my cousin asked if he could live with my grandparents and they told him no. Well he showed up at their door step begging so they let him stay a few nights. Eventually they kicked him out because they never wanted him there in the first place.
So my parents picked him up and brought him to their house to live with them.
So here is my issue. My wife is 25 weeks pregnant. When the baby comes I am not comfortable with my parents having my son alone if my cousin is going to be at the house. My question is if it would be a better idea to bring this up now or wait until the baby arrives? Am I being unreasonable? | my parents let my drug addict cousin move in with them. When should I tell them that I don't want my future son around him. |
t3_3vb562 | relationships | I [22/M] know my girlfriend will [22/F] will say I love you very soon however I'm not in love with her yet. If she says she does, how do I say I don't? | My girlfriend has been making it very obvious that she loves me and I believe she's doing it deliberately to see if I too feel the same, she also keeps throwing in hint's that she want's to say it. I've had other girls say 'I love you' to me before and the build up to it is near enough the same. However I am fully aware that I might be wrong. We've been dating for some time and are just mental for each other, I honestly think she's too good to me and I know that I've never been more happy in a relationship with someone than I am right now.
I should say that I do have horrendous commitment issues however thanks to her, I'm passing it, she knows I have these issues and does her best not to 'scare me off', I've told her I'm not going anywhere. However currently I don't love her just yet, I unfortunately don't, I've been in love before and you just know when you love someone, I do care for her an awful lot and don't know how I'd cope if I lost her. I want to say I love her but I know I don't just yet, I like to say I will love her in the future and I presume I will however I don't know yet. So I ask you, reddit, if she does say she loves me how do I say I don't love you back without hurting her or making her hate me, do I have to face the fact that I will hurt her, should I lie to her, will she be ok if i'm honest? I don't know :( I'm sorry if I'm coming across as an asshole and trust me when I feel like one writing this. Thanks | I believe my girlfriend will say I love you to me (I know I might be wrong) but currently I don't love her, if she does say it to me how do I tell her I'm not there yet? |
t3_1t5n84 | relationships | My girlfriend [23F] of 4 years very rarely says my name [23M], am I insane? | My girlfriend simply does not say my name.
I have brought it up multiple times. I first started to notice it maybe a year to a year and a half ago. At least, that's when I first brought it up. The first time she said she never says anyone's name. But she does, I have heard it.
She doesn't call me by anything, not my name, not a nickname.
I don't know why it bugs me. She will talk about her favorite football player by name, call him "her cutie pie" but can never say my name. Sometimes she texts me "my love" but rarely.
When I think about this more, she seldom needs to grab my attention. We seldom see one another, 1-2 times a week for 3-5 hours (strict Catholic Vietnamese parents). She refers to me usually as a possessive pronoun (your brother) or "he" when she is talking to others.
At first I thought it was a cultural thing. She was born in the states, but very fluent in Vietnamese. I am Asian as well, and I know too well in our native languages we don't often first names as much as titles (brother, uncle, etc.). But even couples in some Asian cultures call one another by SOMETHING (usually girls call their boyfriends "big brother").
But she seriously does not call me anything. No title, no name, no nickname, just "you". I have told her it really makes me feel invisible. I have asked her, a bit in anger, to really try to work on it.
I don't know why this problem exists, I don't know a solution, and I don't know why it bugs me so damn much. Please give me some input... do I have a narcissism problem? Am I looking too much into this? Is there something wrong psychologically about saying my name? | GF rarely says my name or calls me by anything, makes the relationship very impersonal, am I overthinking or is this weird? |
t3_2maoek | dogs | Question For Duck Toller owners in the U.S. | Hey everyone! So I'm 24 now and I've legitimately known that I want a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling retriever for at least 12 of those years. I'm from Canada orginally (Kanata to be exact... Yes it's spelled Kanata) and moved to the US in 2002. When I was younger I was really cool and would get dog breed books for christmas with directories of breeders in the back and I had found a Duck Toller breeder about 15 minutes from my house in Canada. I emailed her (I was about 13 years old) asking if I could come by and just play with the dogs since they were my favorite but obviously wouldn't be able to buy one. Luckily she said yes (thanks Dawn!) and it only cemented my goal to own one!
So, now I think I'm ready to get a pup but I live in VA and as you may know there aren't many Toller breeders in the US, much less near me in VA. What is the best way to go about buying and getting a Toller over to me? I know I could have one flown out but I don't know if that would be traumatic. Curious if anyone has any advice or past experience with the best way to get me a Toller.
Thanks!! | I've wanted a Toller for a long time but live in the US.. How should I go about getting one? |
t3_ww0hq | AskReddit | Why are you all being so dumb about the Batman shooting? | I understand that as humans we all have a natural fascination with death, pain, and all things morbid (Even if you don't have the courage to accept it). It just brings me so much sadness to once again see history repeat itself. Even with all the other post's saying don't give this media coverage, I still see you all turning him into another anti-hero. I, at one point, thought that there were some of the brightest and most open-minded people out there. You all were my own personal condensed ball of hope on this planet. I guess I was just a dreamer or a fool. Everyone turned into the mindless sheeple that I was looking for hope to the contrary here for. As they say curiosity killed the cat and that's just what all your curiosity will get you.
To the OP's that were there, I understand that everyone has a story and wants their story to be heard but you just keep feeding into the cycle. I hope that all of you are enjoying all of the blood karma that is now soaking through the cracks and staining your hands as you type. It's not just the blood from this event, its also the blood from every future event that you've just helped feed into.
So go ahead and down vote this throw away to oblivion but to all the lurkers feeling safe and smug up voting the posts, I want all of you to know that every up vote you give is a bullet that you're putting I.to someone that somebody cares about and you all are just as responsible. | Stop being sheeple and actually think about what you all are doing. That or please tell me your side of it because without clashing view points no one learns anything. So teach me |
t3_1q0fe7 | relationships | Me [20M] with my good friend/ex [20F], I'm too attracted to continue platonic relationship | We've known each other about 6 years, here's some important points from our history:
We started as friends but there was a well-known mutual attraction and we dated towards the end of the first year we knew each other. Friendship picked up again months after breaking up.
We were FWB briefly about two years later (she wanted to get back together, at the time I wasn't sure so it never went further), but after that ended we drifted apart again for a bit.
Now recently we've spent more time together than we had in a while and I felt like I got to know her better than I have in a while – which led to a strong attraction to her again, because while she's always been beautiful it's not until I know someone well that I'm truly attracted to them.
I feel I should also mention that I have yet to even romantically hold hands with anyone other than her, so I've worried that I'm actually only horny. I don't think that's the case though.
So, my issue: I can't stop thinking about her, I want to be with her, but I don't know how she feels and I can't continue just being her friend. I'm just not sure how to approach this. | How do I ask my friend (who is also my only ex, from years ago) if she's interested, considering I'm too attracted to her to continue our current platonic relationship. |
t3_3eq6ed | relationships | I [24M] need advice on how to approach a girl [21F] I met on Tinder | I'll start with this.
Backstory: I am a 24yo male who hasn't had a girlfriend in almost 4 years. After breaking up with my most recent girlfriend, I got a new job and was quickly promoted into management. I've been out of the game since, focusing mainly on work. I recently got on a few online dating sites and tried to see what was out there.
I have been mostly uninterested in the girls I have spoken to for a variety of reasons. Until today. I matched with a girl on Tinder who immediately caught my eye.
She is 21yo and works at the same company as I do. Company policy dictates that I am allowed to have a relationship with her based on our different locations. She is 3 levels below me in terms of position within the company.
Having never really clicked with anyone online, I am unsure of what to say or do when it comes to taking the next step. We have several common interests and I'd like to get to know her better.
What's the best way to approach? Any advice for someone in this situation? | recently got a Tinder account on the advice of a friend. I "matched" with a girl, but I'm unsure of how to approach. |
t3_2qm5vz | relationships | My[24F] fiance [28M] thinks we are not perfect for each other. | Throwaway only because I'm very paranoid.
I've been with my SO for more than a year and we are getting married in February and I couldn't be more happy. We are in an LDR and have met but haven't had sex yet. Just coz we want to wait, no religious reasons.
Over the course of our relationship we've had all differences but worked through them. My main issue with him is when we have even a small argument, he shuts down completely. Texts become one word texts with only basic stuff.
This whole week has been hard for both of us for various reasons and we've been kind of depressed. We also had quite a few arguments and as usual he hasn't talked much. In an LDR, this is unbelievably frustrating. And we've had arguments about that too.
Now onto the problem, he opened up to me and texted that he was feeling very depressed. After a few texts he told me that he hasn't been able to sleep properly this week and I told him that I was telling the same thing about myself to my friend this morning. He shut down immediately and said he was glad I have someone to talk to. I told him I want him to talk to me. After that he asked me why I was marrying him. I told him I love him and other stuff and ended with you're perfect for me. To that his reply was this and I'm paraphrasing.
Thing is I don't know if we are perfect for each other. I'm stubborn and independent and very private. You're stubborn as well but not as private. I didn't know what to say to that.
My fiancé whom I'm getting married to in 47 days doesn't know if we are perfect for each other?
What should I do? How am I supposed to react to that? | My fiancé told me he doesn't know if we are perfect for each other because he thinks I am not private enough. Wtf? |
t3_wkwh9 | AskReddit | I've put myself in a difficult situation. Looking for some advice both difficult and uplifting. | Tonight, I went out to a club with some friends and ended up making out with this girl. Not a problem usually, but I've been in a monogamous relationship for a year and a half and this girl was not my girlfriend. I was really drunk and this girl basically threw herself at me but I feel SO guilty and I feel like the biggest asshole in the history of the world. Here's the real problem. I'm head over heels and supremely in love with my girlfriend. She's the only person who truly gets me and if I broke up with her, I'd be completely lost. I don't know why I did what I did, but I know that I cannot leave my girlfriend. I just need people's opinions on this. I want to hear as much as possible just so I can try and push this voice out of my head telling me that I am the worst kind of person. I love my girlfriend. She has helped me grow through really tough times and I don't want to lose her. I know her and if I told her what happened she would freak the fuck out and it would probably be the end of us. I literally cannot have that. I don't want to hear what I *should* do or what an asshole I am. I just want to hear people opinions on this matter. I need to hear a voice other than my own. Sorry I'm kind of upset right now. | Made out with a girl other than my GF, can't tell my GF because I love her more than anything. Just talk to me. |
t3_tfgws | AskReddit | Stopped biting my nails, now I need help stopping a more dangerous new habbit. | I've had a problem with biting my nails ever since I was about 3 years old. I've been trying to quit since I was 13 and this year I made it my new year's resolution to stop. 5 months into the new year and I've almost completely broken the habbit, It has been 3 weeks since I've actually bit a nail off although I often put them in my mouth, then manage to stop myself before it's too late. I've made is this far with the help of a few tricks including
Trimming my nails down to the nail bed to cause a painful reaction to even a small amout of nail-chewing
Painting my nails so i would become aware of the nail polish taste and stop myself
Chewing gum everytime I felt the urge to bite my nails.
This last trick has become a bit of a problem though, As I've stopped the habbit of nail-biting I've come into the habit of swallowing the gum I'm chewing after just a few minutes. I often don't even notice I've swallowed the gum untill I realize i'm not chewwing anymore. Does anyone have any ideas for how I can stop this? I know swallowing a piece of gum here and there isn't too bad but I'm now swallowing 3-4 pieces EVERYDAY. I can't find any other way to keep from biting my nails. Does anyone know a way I can either quit swallowing my gum or stop biting my nails without chewing gum? | Managed to quit nail-biting habbit by chewing gum, developed a dangerous gum swallowing habbit. |
t3_1x42u5 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my Ex-GF [28/F] Dated for 7 months, been broken up for 2 months. Broke NC but her number was blocked. | After 3 weeks of NC, I texted my ex yesterday letting her know I hoped her classes were going okay, and asked her if she wanted to grab coffee or a drink sometime, but no rush. 24 hours later, I hadn't heard from her, so I texted her again saying I was sorry, I shouldn't have reached out, that it was probably too soon, and I wasn't ready.
Several hours later, I discover that I had blocked her one night after a few drinks on my iPhone. It was sort of a way for me to make her not calling me my decision. Illogical? Slightly. Which means that, although I could send her texts, I could not receive texts from her. I couldn't tell whether she had responded and still can't.
So now, I'm stuck. Before I go back into NC, which is probably inevitable. I don't know whether I should try to explain myself. Thoughts if I want to salvage the possibility of getting back together at some point? | Should I explain to my ex-GF that I didn't get any potential reply texts because I'd blocked her number? |
t3_1drody | relationships | I [18m] just got a text from [18f] girlfriend and dont know what to do. | Backstory: we known eachother for a long time and it just started getting serious and we ended up together for 2 months and i got the we gotta talk text and then she said this:
" Okay look.. You know I really really like you and you make me like ridiculously happy.. But I don't know if I have the time for a relationship right now, and I don't think I'm really in the best place to have one. I know that probably doesn't make sense to you because I haven't told you anything about my past, but I really need to get everything sorted out and I don't want you to be involved in it because you don't deserve that. I want to hang out with you and be with you. But I can't do the relationship thing right now. I still really want us to spend time together so I can just figure everything out, and slowly try to explain it all to you so we can actually have a relationship where I can feel like I'm fully committed." | got a text from my recent girlfriend saying she doesnt want a relationship and i cant think of anything to say to save what we had. |
t3_43qkq8 | dogs | [Help] Should I get a dog and which breed? | Hello, 1st time Redditor here. I am a 21yo, live with my parents and work full time shifts so I'm always arround at different times with no real pattern.
My mum is the definition of a crazy cat lady, we have 4 and to be honest, in our house what she wants she gets and what she says, goes.
Also, I'm kind of a slob. I work full time but I literally just work, sleep or go out with friends,; I never tidy my room, to say I have a floordrobe would be an understayement, and I'm constantly 'borrowing' other peoples clothes because I have none clean. (I am aware of how to use a washing machine / do housework etc I just have 'motivation issues.'
I want to get a dog to teach myself some esponsiblility, while I haven't cared or eiter of my cars I neve really felt like I had to, obviously a dog is a living being, so I couldn't neglect it without beating myself up!
I am aware that a dog is not just for Christmas and, especiallly if I get a puppy, I will have to train it, take it for walks etc. and that there iz more to it than simply feeding it. | I'm realły lazy and live in a small house with cats and a mum who isn't very open to change. I want a dog for the companionship and to teach myself to be responsible for something. |
t3_2jxncu | needadvice | Changing majors. Now my current courses are pointless and I'm struggling. What should I do? | I'm a second semester freshman at a medium size university. I'm about halfway through the semester at this point so dropping classes is out of the question. Recently I've changed directions from being a Information Technology major (CS) to looking at majoring in Journalism (with an yet-to-be-determined dual major or minor).
The problem is now that I know I'm not going into CS/IT I'm struggling in my classes. I petitioned to drop my programming course because on top of not being interested I was struggling pretty hard to keep up and it was taking up way too much time (away from my other courses). While I wait for the petition to be granted or denied my grade in the class is dropping (93%-78% in one week.)
I'm still in an IT class focusing on networking and web development and pre-calculus. Neither of these classes will count for anything once I change to my new major. I Really don't have an interest in learning IT/ more math. My lack of interest is turning into lack of motivation
It's hard for me to keep trying in these classes that are essentially a waste of time. I can't wait for this semester to be over so I can start down the right path learning what I care about. I don't want to fail my current courses (I'm assuming that would have some nasty consequences) but it's hard to care | I changed majors now I have no interest in my classes and it's affecting my grade. Whether I give up on them or some how manage to pass I feel like it's still a waste of time. |
t3_2bj3j2 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my ex [26M] 1year, am I in the wrong | I know that it is absolutely wrong and inappropriate to go through someone's private messages but when you leave it logged on someone's computer and have had a weird gut feeling one will be curious.
So my SO left a message open to an ex co worker. He is one that I had a bad feeling about for sometime but she assured he was a friend and in a relationship (with further investigation he wasn't). Well in the message he was informing her that he would be coming to visit his family in the area and that they should hangout. She said ya but in the next message she sent him a picture of herself in her bikini saying to make sure to bring his swim suit. Now I was livid and pretty pissed. You're in a relationship with someone and you do that? So I confronted her about it, told her that I snooped but was glad that I did. Her excuse was that she didn't see it as being sexual but funny. Apparently her ex coworkers poked fun at her for being white and for never bringing her swimsuit to work for later. Also she said everyone was sending her messages that the new coworker is more attractive than her blah blah blah. She also said that she thinks she was unconsciously seeking validation that she was attractive. I always made sure to tell her how beautiful, hot, pretty, etc. she was. I mean she sent the same picture to me and I went off on how hot she was and what not.
Am I wrong for being pissed and ending it. I mean isn't this emotional cheating that could have led to more. What guy in their right mind gets a private message of a girl in a bikini saying bring your swimsuit and finds that as a joke? I wasn't born last night. | seriously just looking for some perspective and advice. Is there anyway that I'm in the wrong. Appreciate any input. |
t3_3racn8 | relationships | My[20 M] bestfriend[19 F] of 5 years, what do I do to sort my head out? | Hey all,
First time i've wrote here, don't really know where to start.
So I met this girl back in 2010, when we were young, I was 15 she was 14 and we hung out, got real close and I had something that I felt was 'puppy love' towards this girl, she was shy, quiet, but opened up to me and we was the closest we could ever imagine.
Anyhow I didn't say anything as I was still young and nervous until I was what, 17? We had kissed prior to this once while were drunk at a family due as I invited her, nothing got spoken of about that night.
Once i'd told her that I liked her she literally just mind-gamed the shit out of me, she used to create fake accounts and such and talk to herself online and make me see it some-how, but things have changed now and I don't know what to do, she's a totally changed person ever since then and she makes me love her then makes me feel distant instantly and try to crave her attention.
I love how she was and I want her to somehow be that girl again but I don't know how to sort this out, there's a lot more to it than what is said there but I can't be making pages.. | Met girl while young, Fell in love with her, told her and she mindgamed the fuck out of me. |
t3_1tzxjp | relationships | My bf [21/M] is getting a little too arrogant and I [20/F] want to teach him a tiny lesson | My boyfriend has always been part of the 'popular kids' and it's something he values a little too much. He will sometimes tell me "jokingly" that he didn't talk to me when we were younger because I wasn't popular.
I don't mind all that but sometimes he gets a little too cocky and he unknowingly puts me down. I don't take it too personally since that kind of stuff doesn't bother me, but I feel like he thinks he is way out of my league. I never really thought about that but he makes me feel bad sometimes.
For example, one night we went out to a restaurant with some friends and the waiter kept smiling and looking at me and my friends started joking about it. One of my friends said that it was normal because "I was really cute" and my boyfriend replied by asking "Really" in such a surprised tone I was offended.
I don't know how to talk to him about it because I know he will get defensive.
I don't want want to confront him and talk to him about it so much as I wanna show him that he's being a little douchey. I don't know what to do though, please help. | My bf thinks he's big shit because he's always been popular and sometimes unknowingly puts me down with his comments, what do I do to get him off his high horse? |
t3_2wnuaw | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] 4 months, just broke up with me | I woke up to about 8 texts saying things like: i've been crying all night, i need to tell you something, i met my x yesterday from brazil (yes he moved from brazil to new zealand to get back with her). In her texts he said she still loves him.
I don't even know anything about him. I told her not to break up by text message, but when i checked her facebook she had already made the breakup quite official. so i just texted her and said look after yourself.
i really wanted to ask more about him or tell her how she was stupid for telling me to move in with her a few days before the breakup. I wanted to tell her that it will be hard without her living in a city that i have almost no friends in.
I didn't really say anything because i didn't want to make it into a messy breakup like i did the last time (2 years ago). My plan is to ignore her and make her think like i don't care about the breakup.
But i also think do i have a right to ask her a few questions about the breakup so i can get the questions off my chest? Or should i just not talk to her? | GF broke up with me by text for her x, should i talk to her and say goodbye or just ignore her? |
t3_spnfh | relationships | Insight please | 28 [m] with 26 [f] together for a year and 2 months in LDR (We see eachother often though as she only lives 2 hours away)
Recently I've taken on a massive workload at my job and because of that I've been extremely tired. I don't really sleep much so it doesn't help on that behalf either. I get maybe 3 hours a night if i'm lucky.
A fairly prominent figure in my company came to our office this week so I've been dealing with impressing him and basically trying to work my ass off to make a good impression. A normal day goes, sleep 1 AM - 4 AM, get ready, drive at 5:30 in a 2 hour traffic jam, work 8-5, 2 hour traffic jam back. Recently I've been having to work at home aswell though.
Last night, I was on Skype with my S/O and I was getting extremely tired so I wanted to call it a night. As my S/O laid in bed she was telling me about her new cute panties and I told her they looked sexy on her, but didn't advance from that. About 5 minutes later I could tell something was bothering her, so I asked what. She went on to tell me she thinks I'm losing my sexual attraction for her and that she'd been trying to be seductive for me and give me signs that she wanted to play.
Now... me being on 2-3 hours of sleep and a stressful day I was too exhausted to register it in my brain when it was happening. She began crying saying she just wanted to be sexy for me and I tried re-assuring her loads but it didn't help. After a while she stopped crying and we went to sleep but I just spoke to her on the phone during a coffee break and she still sounds down.
Did I mess up? I explained to her I was exhausted and I just didn't register it and I was sorry, but it didn't help.
What do I do reddit? | S/O tried to be sexy for me, I was too tired to notice and she took it bad, thinking I don't find her sexy. What to do? |
t3_3qxwog | relationships | I (F/20) was blindsided when my bf (M/21) of 10 months ended things. What do I do? | A month ago, my boyfriend of ten months ended things with absolutely no warning. I thought things were perfect until then. He said it was because he couldn't be in a long term relationship when he was so unsure about his future. He originally suggested a break, but stipulated that it would mean seeing other people, and all of it was too much for me to process.
The breakup triggered a break down for me (I have major depression and general anxiety), but I have been receiving intensive help for the past three weeks. I am working on myself and reframing my thoughts to be more positive.
My biggest struggle right now is I still have this overwhelming hope that he will come back and it's preventing me from focusing on myself. I have removed myself from all social media with a direct link to him to try and stop obsessing, but my depression is now in high gear because I don't have a connection to him.
We talked in person last week, which was helpful because I blacked out during the breakup and couldn't remember what he said, but I still cannot get past this hope. We were so close he felt like family and I want to spend life experiencing it with him. I feel so lonely and depressed and I don't know what to do. I just want my best friend back. I want him to realize his mistake and just text me again. I miss him so much. | bf unexpectedly broke up with me after 10 months, it triggered a breakdown, and now I can't get past the hope that he'll be back. |
t3_3630ly | relationships | I think I have the worst luck with guys [23f] [26m] | Literally, just broke off my engagement because I felt my bf wasn't that motivated anymore. More to it, but after months of being avoiding opening myself to guys after the break of my engagement. There was this guy who made me open myself a little bit emotionally, not all the way just because I felt there was something wrong. From his choice of words to the way he acted I could tell there was something not right about how easy he was sharing all this information with me and stuff. Finally I gave in, I thought maybe I was being a bit uptight about the situation we have very romantic 2 weeks together because he was here for business. He told me he was coming to Japan for a month in August blah blah we always have fun and enjoy our time together. He finally left today and when I read his last message. He sends me a message saying "have a good one!" photo of the plane and then I see that I couldn't click on his profile. Turns out he blocked me...
I felt so hurt to say the least, just because it was the first time I get to open myself to someone in a bit and my instinct said not to. I finally did, turns out was a dick in the end. I'm very bummed out. i would have been ok with something casual, but the fact that he toyed me into believing it was more than that makes me feel very sad and used.
Anyways just feel like ranting a bit, nothing special. Hope everyone I having a lovely night! | Met a guy, wasn't open into any emotional investment, got convinced into, guy turns out to be just playing. |
t3_y1var | AskReddit | Did I go too far, or was she being a bitch? | Okay well the story goes, I liked this girl my whole last year of highschool, and she would never go out with me. Then this summer, I randomly texted her, and she asked me if I still wanted to hang out. Of course I did. So we went on a date and it was incredible, and we talked for like 2 hours. One thing she was telling me was that she really loved Wolverine and wanted to read the comic books, but couldn't find them. Anyway, she kissed me at the end of the night. And then like 2 days later, I went to a comic book store by my house and got her some comics. And I texted her asking to go out to lunch, didn't respond. Same thing for like 2 more days. Then I texted her saying I had a really good time and everything else, and she texted back saying she just didn't like me that way.
Well she went on this retreat, where you send them letters and what not, and I had the comic books, so I sent them to her with her letter. On the retreat, she told one of my best friends that she felt uncomfortable with me sending her that stuff. So was I being too pushy or was she being a bitch? | Went on a date, didn't text me back after a few days, sent a gift of something she mentioned she really liked to her while she was on a retreat, told a friend of mine that she felt uncomfortable with the gift. |
t3_2q1l5d | relationships | I [21 F] am in love with my SO's friend [21 m] met twice, hopeless. | I feely honestly confused. No one knows this but me, because I care deeply for my SO. I've never encountered this before, and I've been with him for two years; no problem. We used to hang out; around the town, on trails, etc. and he started bringing his friend a few times. I've met the man twice, and he's amazingly similar to my current SO... We all get along amazingly. Laughs, shared sense of humor. but...
Somehow I have an unwavering sensation of pure longing when I'm anywhere near him. Deep in the pit of my heart, I feel butterflies. I feel like I've fallen in love again, as if he's taken my blank canvas and went all Jackson Pollock with warm colours. Which is odd, because I thought I was in love with who I'm *actually* with... I think he doesn't feel the same way, because he's never been with a girl, and I'm *with his best friend.* but sometimes I'll catch him glancing at me after he told a joke, or eye contact lasting just a second longer than it normally does.
I'll never, ever tell a soul, because I care so much for my current SO. He's sweet and means the world to me, and I thought I was in love with him, but I can't find the reason why this man, his friend, makes my heart skip beats. I have no idea why. Is it pheromones? Is it "love at first sight" ? Hard to believe when I in fact *don't* believe in love at first sight. I'm overwhelmed with emotion, he triggers some primal need for love in me. And I just want to feel that way for my SO.
I feel like a bitch... How do I make these feelings go away?? I would never cheat, and just don't know what this is. | fell in love with my SO's friend who I've met twice. Don't believe in love at first sight but what is this...? How do I make this go away? |
t3_3otj39 | relationships | Back to dating after being in long-term relationship | I have been in three serious relationships. Not immediately one after the other, but relatively close.
All in all, I've spent about five years in long-term relationships with about eight months collectively in between.
And now I'm single. And I don't know how to date. I'm not sure how to not be in a long-term relationship anymore. I'm used to sleeping next to someone every night, texting someone regularly throughout the day, cooking for someone, and in general, having someone else around most of the time.
I [21F] am starting to be interested in a guy [20M], and I feel like we connect incredibly well. I am afraid that I don't know how to be not serious and it will affect my chances of anything with this guy. Help. | don't know how to date. Don't want to ruin chances with new guy after almost five years of long-term relationships. Help. |
t3_lcgwj | AskReddit | I need help from a someone who was a physics or architecture major. | My current position is this.
I am 22. I am one semester away from earning my A.A. After this I will be transfering (back) to a university to get my BA and possibly further my education beyond that.
I was a studio art major for 3 semesters at FSU in Florida and dropped out when apathy got the best of me. I am currently a pre-architecture major.
The delema is that I am extrmemly interested in physics (I sometimes spend my free time researching theories and learning the mechanics of nature) but I also want my creative side to be active so I have decided to become an architect major. | I'm transfering to a university soon and would like to hear from a physicist and architect what is to be expected to help me make my career choice. |
t3_nx2pk | AskReddit | Drivers, what are your best/worst experiences with being pulled over and ticketed or fined? | I was on the way home taking I-80. I was on the turnpike in Ohio, where the speed limit was recently raised to 70 mph. For years I have always set my cruise control to approximately 7 mph above the speed limit when on the high way, and have never before had any problems. My parents have been doing the same, setting their cruise control to 7 or 8 mph over and have never been pulled over for it. I set my cruise control to 78 mph, verified by g.p.s., and was pulled over by an officer claiming he clocked me at 80, and proceeded to write me a ticket. I would like to think this is due to the fact that I was driving my brother's brand new Audi A4, and was screaming to the officer "I have money, you should pull me over!"
This is my first and most bogus experience (by default) | was pulled over for going 8 mph over the speed limit on the highway and the officer wrote me a ticket for 10 over because I was in a brand new Audi. |
t3_552qvc | personalfinance | Being passed over for promotion, again (need tips) | * | 1) Got passed over for promotion twice (september 2016 is the latest), ALSO the promo cycle hasn't closed yet, so there is hope!! |
t3_11zvzx | AskReddit | cheated on gf, gf forgave me, now shes lying about past... what to do | hello,
so i cheated on my girlfriend months ago, came clean months ago, made up months ago. a week ago my girlfriend went through all my archived messages on facebook and read every single conversation iv had with any girl over the past years and got very mad. she forgave me and gave me her facebook and email password to check out, apparently she has only talked to about 6 guys about school work over the past 3 years with the longest conversation being about a paragraph in length. she says that she has not deleted any messages.
so today i am checking out her email and i see some facebook notifications from some guys, and i see her talking about hanging out with them. i checked her facebook again and theres no messages there... so they must have been deleted, right?
i keep looking through her email and she has a message sent to herself with a few documents in them, 2 of the documents are about how much she loves me and listing reasons why, two of them are about how much i have hurt her and how life isnt fair and never will be.
one document is a saved conversation between the two of us from the beginning of our relationship.
and the last document is between her and another guy, that she has supposodly only kissed... during our relationship and the conversation is clearly her asking to hang out, during our relationship.
right now i asked her my girlfriend again whether she has talked to any guys/hung out with any guys/deleted any messages and she still denies it.
what i am wondering is whether you guys think i should just let it go and not bring up what i have found out, since this is in the past and is no longer happening. she forgave me for cheating, can i just drop the subject and move on? | cheated on gf, confessed, made up, found out shes lying about her past, not sure if i should confront her or just let it go as long as it has stopped completely which i believe it has. |
t3_3sn861 | relationship_advice | 25/M doesn't know what to do about 25/M BF who's in closet after 6 year relationship | Our 6 year anniversary is coming up in February, and he still hasn't told his family, or any friends from our hometown that he's gay.
I've told him over the years how much it hurts me, and he says I'm insensitive for not waiting until when he's ready. The thing is, I was totally fine waiting for him to be ready (as it took me some time with mine), but his family (mom/dad/sisters) visit a couple times throughout the years we've lived together in a city away from our hometown and stay with us in our two bedroom apartment (approx 4 years). Each time they visit, they stay with us, and I have to pretend I'm not his boyfriend, sleep in another room, etc etc.
The thing is his family HAS to know, as they take me out to dinner with them, as well as grocery shopping/outings. I'm just not sure what to do. His Grandma and Grandpa have recently passed over the last 6 weeks (and they lived near the city), so his family has been visiting a lot over that time period. I'm just so frustrated that I'm being reminded that he's technically in the closet when it comes to his family. Every time I voice this, he brushes it off, or avoids the conversation...What do I do? I also don't want to be an asshole because his Gparents have died and the whole "who's really being selfish" thing comes to mind...
Another note, he always talks about how he wants to marry me someday and such, and I truly believe him, until his parents come around and I think "how could we ever get married if he wont even tell his parents after 6 years?" | Boyfriend of 6 years and I are in relationship, he keeps it from hometown friends and family. Family visits a lot, I pretend I'm not BF. |
t3_29kksp | relationships | My (21 F) boyfriend (22 M) just accepted his dream job after graduating college and it's going to shift our relationship to long distance | My boyfriend just graduated and was lucky to snag a really awesome job within weeks of getting his diploma. He went to a maritime school so it was pretty certain that he would be taking a job involving the ocean and shipping out. Basically, he'll be working on an international cruise line that does 4 month tours. He leaves in a little less than 2 weeks and his first tour begins at the beginning of August. He will be gone for
4 months and will return home for 2 months at a time. The money is awesome and the opportunity is amazing. He gets to travel the world!
I love him with all of my heart and it sucks that he's leaving but I am so proud of and happy for him. I wanted to know if you guys had any similar experiences. Basically, I'm begging for success stories, relationships combating the long distance and strengthening due to the distance. We are staying together but communication will be sort of minimal I've been told. Internet on the ship is expensive and he works long days. I want to marry this kid and I'm not miserable that he's leaving. Of course it sucks, but life will go on here at home.
Thanks for reading! | My boyfriend took a job where he will be gone for 4 months at a time over the next two or three years. |
t3_51kbrp | relationships | Me [22 M] and this girl [22 F] hooked up, really like each other, but she's not over her last relationship. | Hello friends,
So this girl moved in to the same student residence as me a while ago and we've been hanging out a lot. She has the same interests and we laugh a lot together. Last weekend it finally happened. We hooked up. We didn't have sex, but basically did everything else. I talked to a friend of her in the residence, which is also a good friend of me. And she told me that the girl really likes me and if I want I should go for something more serious.
Now fast forward to today. I've been trying to text a bit more and trying to hang out with her, but she seemed a bit distant. Yesterday she told me she wanted to talk. She told me that I'm the first guy she's been with since her last boyfriend and she's not really sure about the whole thing. She said her body really wanted it, but her mind was not in the right place and she's been really thinking about it a lot, since it happened. She hopes we can be just friends for now, because she really likes me.
Now, I don't know what to do with this information. I really like this girl. She's perfect in my book. I feel like if I keep being a good friend, nothing's every going to happen. And I don't think I can go back to that. If I create a lot of distance, It's going to mess with her mind.
What do I do here? | Hooked up with this girl I've been hanging out with. I like her a lot, she's awesome and into me, but isn't over her last boyfriend yet. Halp. |
t3_30qiua | relationships | Me [20 M] going on my first date ever with my best friend [22 F] Need advice! | So I'm going on my first date in two hours with my best friend. We're going to Hooters(We go gift cards from work) together. I'm really nervous because well we've talked about everything already. I don't really know what it is I'm going to talk about or going to do.
To make it a little worse we decided to take one car there so that means we're also going to have small talk in the car to and from Hooters.
I don't have trouble talking to her but I don't know what kind of topics are going to come out. We know each others past and futures and secrets.
Any other advice aswell???? | Going on date with someone who we talked about everything, what am I going to talk about? Any other advice aswell???? |
t3_1a580s | personalfinance | Buy Piece of Mind or Take a Risk? | Hi Reddit!
I'm at a crossroads. Currently I drive a 2006 car with 93k miles that has a trade-in value of $15,000 (appraised yesterday). There's at least $2,500 worth of immediate repairs needed to get my car to at least 100k miles. After that, my research tells me that it's very risky to keep this particular car for much more than 100k miles due to common issues with the powertrain (transmission, engine-which already has a leak, turbo) all of which would be very costly to replace. Additionally, my research tells me that this car pretty much depreciates to <$5,000 after 100k miles and will likely depreciate to essentially zero (unsellable - would need to part out) after 115k miles. I still owe ~$7,000 on the loan for this car and make monthly payments of about $450. This will be paid off in <1.5 years.
For the past two months I've been debating about trading it in for a brand new $34,000 car. After the trade-in and paying off the previous loan I would financed the new vehicle with a monthly payment of ~ $450 (same as my current payment) but for a term of 60 months.
My question is (and this probably comes down to personal opinion/ willingness to take a risk), is it smart to get rid of the potentially costly, unreliable money pit for a brand new reliable money pit and essentially push out the term of my loan for 3.5 more years OR should I keep my current car, pay it off as soon as possible, and then put the $450 a month I would be paying on the new loan into a savings account for if/when my current car needs the likely major repair? | Keep my rust bucket so I can save money but will likely cost me significantly in the near future or buy a new bucket so I can have predicable expenses and piece of mind. |
t3_2l4akd | relationship_advice | [26/m] needs advice on ending short relationship with [27/f] | I recently met a girl through an online dating app, we met up for drinks the first night and hit it off pretty well (given the first date jitters). We decided to meet up a second time and went to get frozen yogurt, this date went pretty well but I did get slight annoyances by certain things she said ("I don't know, im just a bitch sometimes, LOL"
For the third date she invited me over to her place for a home-cooked meal, I had my apprehensions but went anyway.
it went well, we ate dinner and joked around but I still had a little voice in the back of my head telling me this wasn't going anywhere. Later in the night we were watching a movie and she grabbed my hand and placed it on her thigh; a little while later I put my arm around her and she started to kiss me (she leaned in to kiss me first, but I definitely wasn't fighting it).
we ended up sleeping together that night (2 nights ago now) and i stayed the night feeling pretty good, thinking that I was really starting to like this girl. The next morning we woke up and she kept saying how into me she was, and how she has a huge crush on me which left me feeling a bit bad because I'm sure I don't feel about her what she does about me.
I am not saying that she is a bad person, but I feel if we were to continue on this path it would end pretty badly in the near future. So i would much rather end it now and save face for the both of us.
My problem is this, I have never ended a relationship before (always been dumpee, never dumper). I feel like this shouldn't be too much of a problem since we've only been together 3 times, but us sleeping together definitely throws a wrench in the gears. How do I end this without making her feel like I used her in anyway? | I dated a girl 3 times, we had sex, I don't like her enough to continue and need help ending it cleanly. |
t3_2h2g6u | relationships | I [19m] asked out a girl [19f], never heard back from her. How long should I wait to ask another girl out? | Sorry about the strange title, didn't know how to word it properly.
The past few weeks I've developed crushes on two girls. They both were sending me signals that they were into me, and I figured I'd ask one of them out when the opportunity presented itself.
So two weeks ago I asked Girl A out because the moment just felt right. She and I texted back and forth about setting up a date. But because our schedules didn't line up except for today, she told me she'd get back to me today about going for dinner earlier tonight. She never did, and I'm okay with that. She had started sending me mixed signals the past week and I think she isn't interested.
I'm also into Girl B, and I'm almost 100% sure she is into me. I would like to ask her out, but is it rude for me to instantly want to jump to Girl B since Girl A flaked?
They know each other, they actually work together and have mutual friends. How long should I wait before asking Girl B out? I don't think Girl A is interested.
I don't want her to feel like she was the second choice, I really only asked Girl A before Girl B | Asked Girl A out, she flaked, want to ask Girl B out, should I wait, not ask at all, or just go right ahead? |
t3_1u93w1 | relationships | I [23M] don't find my girlfriend [21F] of 1 year physically attractive anymore, but absolutely love everything else about her. | I love my girlfriend and cherish the time that we are together, but over time I have became less and less attracted to her physically. This has caused a few problems in our relationship lately.
The bind that I am in is that I really do love this girl, but I also find that the way I perceive her physically is causing me to grow away from her.
I have thought about ending the relationship because of it, but her personality and pure love for me always brings me back in. I am searching for a long term relationship and I wonder if this is something that I can overcome. | I no longer find the girl I love attractive. The fact is always on my mind, but I still love her for who she is. Can this work long term? |
t3_19atw5 | AskReddit | What do you do if you see child abuse in public? | I was in the cheese isle of my local grocery store. There was an elderly couple most likely in their 70's as well as a few kids and their grandmother.
The kids were playing and laughing but nothing too obnoxious when all of a sudden their (presumed) grandmother runs up and whips the little boy (about 4 or 5 years of age) across the back as she screams SHUT UP! As any young child would do he fell to the ground and began crying. She continued to whip him very hard with the leather belt as he curled into the fetal position. I was stunned by the ferocity of the beating so my reaction was slow but after the 4th strike I stepped between the lady and the child. I picked up an item off the shelf and pretended to continue shopping.
At this point the lady angrily told me to "move mother fucker" and raised the belt. I pretended to continue shopping and she said the boys name, he whimpered but got off the ground and followed her.
What do you do in that situation? If that woman is willing to beat her grandchild that hard with a leather belt in public I am worried what would happen behind closed doors. I did not call the police but feel some what guilty for not doing so. What is the proper procedure when dealing with this? | Saw a lady viciously beat a child with a leather belt, stood between them with out saying a word until they left. What should you do? |
t3_1blgij | tifu | TIFU by having an inappropriate desktop background at an important business meeting | So for the past 2 months I've been involved in organising this international case competition at my university. I'm the VP corporate relations and sponsorships so I go to meetings in hope of getting money for the competition.
This morning I had a meeting with a faculty member who has a lot of contacts in the industry and can hook me up with useful networking channels.
In the middle of the meeting, he asks me to bring up my research and stuff so we can discuss potential targets. I had the document open on one desktop (Mac OSX Lion) and I was taking notes on another desktop. Instead of swiping 3 fingers to the left, I accidentally swiped my fingers upwards and so there was my background photo and all the desktops around it. My background was [this] picture of Spring Breakers (the movie). I change the desktop really fast but the damage was done. He then jokingly said "what about those girls on your desktop? are you trying to get them on board too?". I died at that moment and although the whole situation loosened up the seriousness of the meeting, I knew for a fact that he looks at me differently now. If he doesn't decide to help, my job gets exponentially harder cause I need his contacts.
I hope he isn't disappointed and I still have him as a helping hand.. you know? | Accidentally switched to my desktop with a picture of Spring Brakers (the movie) during a serious and important business meeting. |
t3_26obbd | relationships | 27M Continue a date if it goes well | I'm having a first date thursday. We're going for coffee in a large city at a mall. If it goes well and we want to continue hanging out what should we do?
One of my other post suggested going to a nearby park and to have a restaurant in mind if we want to grab a bite. I have no restaurant in mind but there is a burger and a chinese place at the mall. Theres lots of cars outside and large buildings so IDK if a walk outside is particularly good. The buildings might cockblock the sun. I'm not sure where i'd walk if we walk in the mall. I like the idea if sitting side by side with her at one point but I can't think of why or if its a good idea. There is a nearby bookstore. I find it interesting to browse around but I do that alone. IDK if thats a good idea for a date. | It's a casual date. I can see coffee lasting 2 maybe 3hrs but what do I do after it when its too soon to eat? |
t3_11oftg | BreakUps | Please someone help me. My pain is so bad and I can't function anymore. me, f(26) him 26, 4.5 year long relationship | My ex of 4.5 years went on a "break" with me 2 months ago and texted me/called me pretty frequently up until 1.5 weeks ago. It was an agonizing decision to him to go on a break with me but he still did it; I was obviously devastated and always answered his calls/texts even though it never meant we were going to get back together. He would call me crying and telling me he loved me and wanted to see me but just couldn't get back together with me. We had a great 4.5 year relationship but he always had doubts about me and could never commit and that's why we went on a break.
He hasn't contacted me in 1.5 weeks. I look on facebook, and he is clearly starting to get into someone with some (very pretty) looking girl. I am just devastated. I knew he was sorta using me to feel better and now the truth is, he has dropped me since he met this new girl. I called him like 10 times tonight and he didn't answer. This pain now is so much worse than when we first broke up. It's like, real now, he has found someone else to share everything with (so it seems). His dog, his new apartment, everything. I can't stop thinking about it and crying nonstop. I was wondering why he stopped calling me, and now I have the reason. Please someone tell me something to make me feel better. | boyfriend of 4.5 years took "break" with me; found someone else. Can't handle the pain. |
t3_ato20 | AskReddit | Any idea what's going on here? | So there have been two instances with myself where a dark red mid to late nineties Ford Explorer (or similar) vehicle has been waiting somewhere along my driving path and taken a picture of me. The first time, they pulled off of the highway as I was going over the bridge, pulled over on the bridge and took a picture. The second time they were waiting outside my neighborhood. The second instance was probably four months ago. The first time it was really dark out so I figured maybe I mistook the color the first time. I put it out of my mind until just now when my girlfriend called me on her way home and told me someone sped up next to her on the highway, snapped a picture of her and sped away. She said it was a silver, four door car.
No, I didn't piss off the mob or any large corporations/the government, as far as I know.
I live in Kalamazoo, MI. This happened to my girlfriend on US-127 south of Mt. Pleasant, MI.
Any ideas what's going on here? It's getting a little creepy. | People took pictures of my girlfriend and I candidly while driving on three separate occasions. The two occasions with me were probably the same vehicle. |
t3_e6z5r | AskReddit | Can coming off as too smart or over qualified for a job in an interview hurt your chances at being hired? | The reason I'm asking is that twice now I have been passed over for a promotion where I work. Right now I'm a package handler. I have been with the company for a little over 5 months and just learned today that they went with someone else for the second job I interviewed for. Both jobs were admin/office jobs, one was doing kick-backs in the system for bad addresses and address corrections, the most recent being a driver check in and paperwork, that I felt I would have been able to do more than required.
Some of the interview questions, I think, I may have answered in a way that went over the interviewers heads, as when they asked questions for specific answers and I answered with as much detail as possible but posed it in a way that they could understand, as I was talking about some niche answers. For instance, one question was about a time when I didn't know how to do something but was able to figure it out and how? My answer was about a time when I set up a second HDD on my laptop to not have to be mounted on every reboot in ubuntu and how I did it by googling and following instructions and went into detail about formatting making the folder and so on and so forth. | should I dumb myself down and use less specific/niche answers in interviews as it might not be desirable to an employer? |
t3_1l8j1r | relationships | Me[17/M] has paranoia problems with my[18/F] SO of 10 months. | I explained to her I have paranoia problems before hand and I know I can solve them on my own. I just asked if she could be extra careful with how she worded things because I had this irrational fear she would try to signal that she was cheating on me with a subtle hint or innuendo.
OK so what really bothered me was when I said, " I always think you had sex then you need to wash off the smell and stuff" and she responded with " in this case the truth is i was too tired to shower just for hanging out with family" . I know it is irrational that it meant anything. I just thought the wording made it sound like she had washed off because of sex other times. I get how crazy it is and it doesn't bother me now. What bothers me is how she could have worded it in countless other ways. I specifically told her how I was afraid she was trying to subtly hint that she was cheating. She said that her use of "In this case" was to signify that she had not washed this time because of family and not every other time. I believe that is what she meant too.
Am I being unreasonable to think used any other phrase other than In this case? | I'm crazy but I let girlfriend know. She could have worded a sentence to make things go more smoothly for me but she didn't. |
t3_2m6zos | tifu | TIFU by sending my BBM PIN to the entire college | So, like 90% of the post here, this wasn't today (Surprise, surprise). This was back when BBM had been released for Apple and Android whenever that was. This ones kinda long too. Sorry in advance.
I was in an ICT lesson which had a supply teacher. This was the first lesson of a full day (9am-4pm) and 30 minutes in to the lesson my friends turns to me and says "Hey, let's send our BBM pin to the college" or something along those lines. After about 5 minutes of discussion with 3 friends around us I sent an email to all the students with my BBM pin. Bare in mind there are around 2,000 students. I then get an automated email saying there are too many recipients and the email failed to send so I tried again and again around 4/5 times. What I actually didn't know was that it actually sent so I basically sent 5 different emails with the exact same message to 2,000 students.
The next day me and my friend got called in the head office and was told we have been 'misusing the ICT code and email system' by 'spamming.'
We talked at out 20 minutes about what would and could happen to us i.e. Permanently excluded, this event would go on our records for future employers / colleges to see etc. I was sweating so hard I could actually feel my body temperature increasing. In the end we both managed to get a level 3 contract which basically is a report card you have to hand in to your teacher every lesson to sign and means I just got my ass saved. | Sent multiple emails with my BBM pin to my college. Should've only sent one. And also not sending a risky email like that again. |
t3_ql0x0 | jobs | Asked for client references and can't provide due to current company policy - does this ruin chances of being hired? | Some additional background. (Apologies for being so long)
This is for a senior level position. The position is in another state.
Round 1 - Talked with HR via phone.
Round 2 - Talked via phone with the head of the group and the person who would be my manager; each 1 hour conversations.
Round 3 - The company flew me out (they paid for flights, hotel, food and all transportation) to to do in-person interviews.
Day 1: State 1 - Interviewed with 6 different people; all 1 hour interviews
Flew to State 2 immediately after interviewing. Checked into hotel and then had to meet two interviewers to discuss my background over dinner.
Day 2 - Interviewed at the office I would work at. Had to interview with 6 more people; each interview was again 1 hour. Tour of facilities.
Follow up with HR.
The next day I (Thursday 3/1) received and email from the person who would be my boss. She said that it was nice to meet me and everyone had positive things to say about me. She then asked for references. I provided her three professional references. They were all called as I kept in touch with them.
Flash forward to today (Tuesday 3/6). I receive another email from the person who would be my manager asking to please provide them some client references. Unfortunately it is my current company's policy to not give out client information unless they have previously agreed to serve as a reference. I know who's on that reference list and it's not anyone that I have personally worked with. If I were to give this information out then I could be terminated from my current job. I emailed her back and told her this and asked her if there was other information I could supply instead.
Do you think this now ruins my chance of getting an offer? I was feeling really confident until the email today. Is there something else I could offer her? | Asked for client references at end of grueling interview process. Can't provide due to current company policy. Does this ruin my chance of getting an offer? |
t3_pfoft | relationships | Help, my boyfriend might be addicted to alcohol and methadone and I don't want to act like his mom. How can I handle this? | M/F (late 20's / early 30's). PhD students.
Me and my boyfriend have been in a 1.5 year relationship in which we have spent five months together - ten months long distance - three months together.
I believe our relationship to be strong as we share the same life goals and religious beliefs, are highly sexually compatible, we share lots of interests and hobbies. He also treats me with great respect and care. He talks about a future with me and he introduced me to his family and friends in his country.
However, there are two things that greatly worry me about him. He drinks enough for me to believe that he might either be or be at risk of becoming an alcoholic. When he drinks he is never aggressive with me or others, actually he is what I would describe as a happy drunk. Though I have had no issues with him while he is drunk I do worry about the damage that he is doing to his liver (he often has to touch his liver to see if he can drink or not).
The second thing that worries me is that when we are long distance he takes methadone. One of his neighbors provides this for him and he says it is only recreational. However, I did quick research on this and it seems that it is highly addictive and could be potentially lethal.
I am obviously worried about his health but it is hard to asses his "addiction" since we don't live together for most of the year and I am quite ignorant to identify if it is or not a problem. I also love freedom in relationships and I would hate to have to act like his mom and tell him to stop drinking or taking whatever he wants if he starts to have health problems. I would of course support him completely if he asked for help.
I have told him my concerns but he says I should not worry and that he will decrease both alcohol and methadone intake. Since we are again long distance I don't know how to approach this. Should I ask him about it or trust that he will take care of himself like he told me? I don't want to be controlling but I do worry because I love him. | Unsure if my boyfriend is dangerously addicted to alcohol and methadone and how to handle this. He is awesome in all other aspects. |
t3_314sga | relationships | My [21 F] new boyfriend [21 M] of three-ish months doesn't like my online role-playing | So I'm into online role-playing. It's not an exclusively sexual thing but it can be. If you're not familiar with it, it's basically where you and another person write a story from the perspective of characters you create. It's lots of fun and I really enjoy it. A couple years ago I started role-playing with a new girl and we decided to start including sex scenes, which progressed to writing straight-up erotica. It's a lot of fun and I really enjoy it.
The thing is, I'm seeing a new guy and he doesn't like it, at all. He told me it's like I'm cheating on him and I'm not sure how to feel. It's like my porn. It's what gets me off. I have a lot of trouble orgasming and this is the one kind of stimulation that really gets me going when I masturbate. Before I discovered RPing I just didn't masturbate. I don't have any sexual or intimate connection with my partner herself, and it's not really her that I'm getting off to so much as the fictional fantasies. But I understand he's uncomfortable with me interacting sexually with another person even if we aren't in any kind of relationship. And it's not like I'm rejecting him for my RP partner. We have sex at least a couple times a week and I don't feel that this has an impact on my ability to have a healthy sexual relationship.
So he's given me an ultimatum. Either I stop role-playing altogether - even the non-sexual stuff - or we stop dating. And I know it sounds selfish, but I'm not sure about this. Role-playing is one of my hobbies and I don't think he should have a say in that if it's not sexual. He's not comfortable with me having any interaction with my partner at all. I really like him and it's been a great three months so far, and I don't want to lose him. Advice? | I like to role-play online, both sexually and non-sexually, and my boyfriend wants me to stop completely |
t3_39n1u7 | needadvice | cant fullfill the basic requirements for work as an engineer | after i finished my bachelor in environmental engineering i knew that i wanted to work in a medical or biology lab. my bachelor thesis was in a microbiology lab and i enjoyed it.
but i had to change my master study subject. (university cut courses), started with chemical engineering (or i could have changed universities, but didnt want to)
it was awful, i hated it, never learned, passed everything, but i just didnt learn anything, i cant remember anything at all, i am not exaggerating. to write this master thesis broke nearly my neck, i got "burn out" with anxiety problems, went to therapy, changed the topic after i failed my first try, and i think i will only pass this time when i pass because my new prof is nice because he knows what happend, its like a pity degree.
the advice i am looking for is, what do i do now? i dont have money, i cant study longer. i was looking for jobs at the lab, as assistant or whatever, but they dont take me, i am overqualified for the job i want. i am not good enough for my actual degree. i feel uncomfortable when i look at the requirements for chemical engineers. my university even cut courses in the chem. engineering field. so i often didnt even do the technique the workplaces sometimes demands.
just had only about 15 applications till now, but only had turn downs for over/underqualified reasons. (i know its not much, what bothers me is the reason)
i dont know what kind of advice anyone could give me now, but i feel like i need an advice what to do next.
maybe someone has a good idea
thank you very much | getting master of science degree in 1 month. bad education, cant fullfill the basic requirements for engineering work. overqualified for easier jobs. |
t3_12calu | relationships | Feeling inadequate in my relationship f(20), m (22) because of friendships | This is more of a personal question than a relationships question. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and were best friends prior. This is my third year in college, and since it started, everything has changed. For obvious reasons.....friends moved away, made new ones, etc.
I know that my boyfriend doesn't particularly like that I have mostly guy friends. We have a lot of mutual friends, but they're mostly guys (besides the guys girlfriends). I get along with girls, but I wouldn't want to be with them all the time. I haven't found the right "best friend" to click with. I haven't had a girl best friend in a few years.
I have 5 or 6 girl friends who I'm close with, but I don't see them consistently. I try to become friends with girls at school, but they're *mostly* superficial, and I have superficial relationships with them. I'm not big on the party scene, so there isn't much to do with them outside of that.
Most of the girls I know are either a) absolutely horrific b) really nice girls, but spend all of their time with their boyfriend, so I don't even know how to approach a friendship c) the few girl friends I have
Sometimes I just feel really left out.
It makes me sad to look at my boyfriend and his best friend, and know that I don't really have one (besides my guy friends, who I'm close with). I'm personable and make friends easily, but they're usually not the type of people I'd like to be around all the time. And any of my close girl friends have boyfriends and consume their time by this. I always see girls in big groups doing things. I had this in highschool, and honestly, it was just a lot of fighting between all of us. Mixed in with some good times when you weren't being excluded from the group. This probably all sounds very trivial. | Wish that I didn't have so many guy friends, as I know it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable/jealous at times. Not sure how to become friends with any more girls :/ |
t3_tnh0j | AskReddit | Hey, Reddit. Do you guys have any internet content (videos/articles) that help keep you humble? | How's it going, Reddit? Let me give you guys some background information on why I'm asking this question. My girl friend is pretty materialistic and she always talks about buying purses, makeup, shoes, and all those other things that girls are into. I told her if she keeps up her materialistic ways after she graduated pharmacy school, then I'd break up with her (jokingly of course, we've been together 10 years). It was right then and there that I got this idea. I told her for every major materialistic thing that she buys, she would have to dedicated an hour to something that I wanted her to watch or read. The idea is to show her how good she has it and that she doesn't need new bags or nice cars to be happy. So, do you guys have any articles, documentaries, or clips that might help me? | GF needs to read/watch something I give her for every time she buys something unnecessary. Need articles and videos that will humble her. |
t3_22i93r | relationships | Really need some logistical advice after heartbreaking split. | Never thought I'd post to this sub, even during the past few months when things haven't been right. My bf (m25) of over three years broke it off with me (f27) last night after I confronted him about his lack of interest in me and the relationship for the last few months.
I approached it thinking that we would try to make things better, never thinking that he might actually be done with me. He's the most loving, kind person and he's always been so invested in our relationship until recently.
He said he still loves me but he hasn't been happy and it isn't exactly me but lots of things, stressful job and other things he couldn't name. Am I kidding myself that it's just his job and the high stress that's ruined our relationship? I practically made him admit he didn't want me any more last night.
I'm so devastated that I don't know what to do with myself, but we live together so I have to find a new place. The thought of finding somewhere and moving in with strangers is almost too much. He's not pushing me to move straight away, though I assume he wants me gone as soon as possible.
My problem is that it's going to take me a while to find somewhere, and there's no other room for one of us to have longer than a couple of nights until I do get somewhere new (flatmate away til Wednesday).
Last night I asked him to stay in the flatmate's room, but he heard me crying so came back in and kept hugging me and eventually slept in there with me.
I want to believe that he's doing this because he still loves me and there's a chance he'll change his mind, but i know I'm kidding myself. Should I just ask him to stay with his friend for the next few days? I'm close to saying he can stay just because I need to be around him. | bf of 3 years broke up with me last night and I don't know what to do about finding a new place, and living in the same space until then. Still kidding myself that he's going to change his mind. |
t3_16alsw | books | The Case for rereading books, why should I? Do YOU? | So I consistently see redditors on here talking about reading a book once a year or, less extreme, reading a book two or three times. Now I don't read a ton and I'm sure someone that reads a book (or a few different books) each year probably reads a lot and reads a lot of other books also, they're kind of a different case probably. What I'm more interested in is the opinion of the "moderate-core" rather than the hardcore reader, why do you reread books? Why should I? Why *don't* you?
Obviously some will say you catch things the second time around, but I'd like to think I don't miss *that* much. My to-read list is in the hundreds, I just can't justify rereading something I've already read. Also as a side note, I operate the same with movies/tv/videogames, never watching reruns/playing the game over - Maybe it's just how I am? | Do you reread books? Why/Why not? What criteria? What do you gain? et cetera, et cetera. |
t3_1bvwrp | relationships | Girlfriend (27f) and I (20m) want to move in together, but logistics have made this hard and made us argue. Am I asking too much, or is she? | She works 6-7 days a week and attends class one or twice every three weeks. She lives in the city where she works (5 minute tram) and which is about 15 mins from her school. Her hours of work vary, but most nights she ends at 10.
I study fulltime some way outside the city, 10 mins walking distance from campus.
She does not want to move to my suburb nor someplace inbetween mine and the city, since she feels that because of her hours its too inconvenient travelling that late at night (10:30pm or later by train). This I feel is because of safety and also because she does not want to travel even 20 mins by train and then a bit to get home after long hours at work.
She wants me to move into the city with her. I am hesitant. This will mean a 45 minute commute to campus for me everyday, if we live near the train.
She's upset because I am hesitant for this reason. Is she being unreasonable, or does she have valid concerns for not moving out of the city, and instead wanting me to come in? | gf and I want to move in together, but I don't know of I'm asking too much or if she is |
t3_3d69x8 | relationship_advice | [22F] I think I am going to lose my boyfriend [22M] | Hey guys! In need of some advice or how to cope with my current situation.
So, me [22F] and my boyfriend [22M] of a little over a year are having some problems and had been arguing a lot, which I thought was normal, because we just had a baby 3 months ago. We finally sat down and talked through some things and it started looking up the last week of June. Then, all of a sudden he texted me acting strange and talking about a break and how I deserved better. It threw me off because I thought we were doing so much better after our conversation and the week after that was great. We talked about this in person a few days ago and he said he had been feeling this way for awhile and didn't bring it up because he thought he could just get over it. He doesn't know if we are meant to be together anymore. Since he's gone so much this month because of his custody agreement with his other daughter we don't get much time together, so he agreed to see how things go next month and we go from there.
I feel like I've already lost him. I'm usually so closed off, but I let him in because he was different. He made me feel loved, special, sexy and everything I've never truly found with someone. I feel so stupid now that he has done this. I have his baby. I have to look at her every day and see him and hurt so much.
So, what do I do? How do I cope with what is going on? Thanks in advance. | (22F)Me and (22M) boyfriend having lots of issues after baby. He brought up a break and mentions he's not sure if we are meant to be together anymore. |
t3_2nwcog | relationship_advice | me [24/M] having long term doubts about my [24/F] SO | I was a virgin when we met, she was far from it, with 20~ partners and 4 other previous relationships, we fell madly in love, its a been a fast and long 9 months together, we've done a lot of things, holidays family get together, its like were in out 5th year, the sex is great, we are a great couple and we've never had a fight, we discuss our issues together and work things out.
issues i have are we talk about marriage and that's ok, but im a stress head and currently having anxiety issues over other life things, but thinking about marrying her is giving me really depressing thoughts ill just list them.
not enough sex, it will get even less when we move in together, i dont want to be sexually frustrated9 we've talked and gotten nowhere, shes aware though).
she was what id consider a whore, she says she likes sex, but shes quite rigid in bed with what we can and cant do based solely on how shes feeling that night.(she says i should get over it, but its not the other guys that bother me, its how free and easy she was with them and not with me, she says im the best shes had and shes never been this comfortable with anyone and i believe she is telling the truth its just hard to understand why shes like this now?)
I get anxious about marrying someone with so many partners.
shes a slob
shes very unhealthy
she has a chronic illness(crones) | I don't know if this perfect first love of mine would be a good choice to marry, i don't want to spend my life sexually frustrated and caring for someone else's needs and not tending to my own. |
t3_390vdz | tifu | TIFU by asking Gollum about anal beads | So. This is a while back. I'm at a party at my friend R's, about 11pm. Me, R and her boyfriend, and a few other people are in R's living room and we are all absolutely fucked.
Now R is my Phresh N Sik Celeb Connection because her dad was Gollum in the LoTR films. The only real effect of this on our daily interactions is that I call her boyfriend 'Baezog the Defiler'.
Anyway we got onto the Gollum topic and being drunk I decide to break out my stellar impersonation. 'Cccan precccious gget me annother beeer??' I ask, as R is going for refills. She acquiesces and leaves the room with about 3 other people, so it's just me and my other friend in the living room.
But I'm really gripped by the spirit of Smeagol, so I launch into Gollum Sex Talk. Pretty basic. 'Mmmaarrinaaade precioussses meeeatstick, gollum gollum.' My very drunk friend finds this hilarious, and thus encouraged, I get more adventurous.
'Preecioous needs an enemaa, yess, yess! Precioussses waants to be punissshed like the nasty hobbitsess preciousss iss!' I hear R coming back into the living room with more booze and turn to her, so she can appreciate the full glory of this comic creation. 'WHEERRE IS PRECIOUSSESSS ANAL BEADSS?? WE WANTSS THEM! WE NEEEDSS THEM!'
And of course it's not R. It's her dad. Her 50-something, very sober dad, who's just got home to find a semipubescent 14 year old barfing in his garden. I maintain eye contact for about 10 seconds before sitting down very slowly.
Parents' Evening is now a very interesting experience indeed. | Got drunk and yelled at Andy Serkis about sex toys. Gonna take this down in a while in case it makes its way back to R and things get even more awkward. |
t3_3s5z78 | relationships | Me [25 M] confused about thoughts regarding ex. | Hey.
My apologies if this post seems stupid, but i don't really feel like talking to anyone i know about this.
About 4 months ago i made a post about me getting dumped after 3 years and got some excellent help.
I took the advice and i'm feeling much better.
I just have one issue, i think about my ex-girlfriend almost every day.
Pretty much instantly when i wake up she is there in my mind, in some way.
And usually it bums me out and has a big effect on my mood for the day.
I feel that i'm not in love with her anymore, i don't want to be with her but i think i miss her. Alot.
She has moved on and recently started a relationship with someone else - which i'm fine with.
I have seen pictures of them and the hole in my chest i used to get even thinking about her is completely gone.
Obviously i'm steering clear of having any contact with her considering what's going on.
I'm jealous and pretty pissed off that she doesn't have to deal with me being in her thoughts like she is in mine.
I don't want to be in a relationship yet, how do i get over her for real? | I think about my ex everyday even though i don't love and want to be with her, does this mean i'm not over the relationship yet? Is this normal? |
t3_3lt1jc | relationships | Two months after my [31M] breakup, I asked my ex [30 F] if we could talk, I regret that now, how do I cancel? | The relationship and break up story is too long. But anyway, after an on and off relationship, we decided to really fully break things off. We don't even live in the same country right now (we cancelled plans to moving to the same city when we broke up).
Last week, after two months of really missing her, I contacted her with some bullshit offer of trying to be friends and asking her if she wanted to talk on the phone. But the truth is I miss her terribly, and it is just an excuse to hear her voice. She suggested we talk this week.
Any advice on what I should do? If I am being honest with myself, I am not ready for a friendship with her, and perhaps never will be. I miss her too much, my feelings are too strong. But, perhaps out of pride, I don't want to cancel our phone conversation and show how hurt I am about the break up by my inability to handle a conversation. Asking to talk to her and then cancelling just seems so feeble and unstable. I also don't want to pretend that I don't care. I want to honor what I had with her by not being a jerk now, but I also don't want to be emotional about it.
suggestions? | Made plans to catch up with ex on the phone, but now I am afraid I won't be able to handle it. Better to cancel or to stick to the plan and pretend I am over it to protect my pride? |
t3_4u4phy | relationships | Me [21 M] with my best friend [22 F]. Her ex is trapping her in his home and she's trying to bust out | I need help on how to get my her out of a really bad situation. Sam had a long term relationship with a guy and broke up with him due to him being neglectful and being and overall asshat.
Sam has moved on and was happily making friends with other guys when asshat decides it's a good idea to try to win her back through good'ol stalking. He (word-for-word from Sam), would go to her house and just stand there waiting for her to come out. When she tries to get into her own car, he blocks her from getting in and pretty much forces her to get into his car and be with him. Her dad isn't any help and let the fucker in one time so relying on her parents is not an option.
She agreed to stay over with him for two nights so he can get the fuck over her but that has now turned into two WEEKS!!! Everytime she tries to move her stuff out and get out of the house, he will start coming to her house again and the whole process happens again.
Now the current game plan that me and her have come up with is this:
* Go over together and try and get all her stuff out and get the hell out of there.
* If he tries to block us in any way, I will have the police on speed dial.
Here's where I need help. I want some guidance on how to get her out of there peacefully. I'm really worried that, he's gonna go ballistic and start assaulting me, her or both. | Best friend has a stalker ex that traps her in his home. We are planning to bust her out but need guidance on how to do so (hopefully) peacefully. |
t3_1yj52i | relationship_advice | [19F] Complaining boyfriend [19M] asks for advice, disappointed when he's not placated. | In a few weeks, my SO and I are going to turn twenty.
We've been together for nearly three years and through a lot of trial and errors, make or break moments. A lot of it centered around me recently, but I have got my stuff together. I basically had to grow up and start acting like an adult instead of a temperamental child, and handle my personal issues in a positive manner.
But when it comes to him getting his stuff together, he just won't. He complains about finances but goes on late night runs for fast food, buys games that he may not finish. I make less than him, but I have the same amount of expenses and still do better. He complains about not having time, but doesn't know how to manage his time in an efficient manner. It all stresses him out.
He doesn't communicate with me when he has issues because he said, "Well, I thought you were busy." What I really think it is, is that he doesn't want to share with me because I tell him it's just a matter of growing up. Viewing the problem from a mature perspective, instead of whining about it. I offered plenty of pieces of advice, but he whines that he just wants to be comforted. "I just want my feelings to be validated." When I asked him to explain, my understanding is that he just wants someone to mommy him, and make the monsters in the closet go away. I was very patient the last time I tried to help, and even apologized that I couldn't. But this is part of the reason why he never shares with me. I mean never. What do I do. Is there anything I can do? | My boyfriend wants someone to tell him what he wants to hear, but when given the truth, he gets even more pissed off and whines. Can't figure out what to do despite being patient. |
t3_2veqon | relationships | Broke up twice with my [17/F] boyfriend [18/M] in a month and he still seems willing to try again. Thoughts? | So I broke up with my boyfriend of a few months a couple of weeks ago because he had depression, refused to seek professional help, and because we're long distance, it was really hurting us. I almost immediately regretted it, and we agreed to stay friends because we enjoyed the other's company.
During those weeks off, he actually seemed to get out of his depression and was nicer and just seemed happier than when we were in the relationship. We talked about it, and agreed to try again. I kid you not, 4 days later he broke up with me. He said he couldn't trust me after I broke up with him.
This bugged me because before we got back together we had a long conversation (and I thought honest one) about why we had broken up and how we would fix things. This never once came up. But now, guess what? He's telling me that he regrets breaking up with me, and just wishes we had worked though it as a couple.
I straight up told him that he betrayed my trust and that it would take a lot for him to earn it back, and he says that he's willing to wait for me. He even says that he still loves me, which really screws with my emotions because dude, you just broke up with me but you love me? What? It just has been making this whole thing harder.
I don't know what to do guys. He sounds really sweet and genuinely sorry about what he did, but I feel like part of me might never be able to forgive him. He sounds like he might want a relationship again, but I just don't know. I really do like him and enjoy his company though. Thoughts? | Me and my boyfriend broke up twice in a month, he seriously damaged my trust, but he says he still loves me and is willing to wait for me to trust him again. Thoughts? |
t3_1lhodw | tifu | TIFU by thinking I was better | It started about a day ago when I got a virus that was going through my family, my mother and brother were at home in bed with it for a few days. Once I had it, I was asleep for probably 2/3 of the day, thats when my girlfriend and friend called me, asking me to go to a dessert restaurant with them. Because I was drugged up on medicine and was feeling slightly better, I thought, why not? Turns out they ordered me a cup of melted choclate and a coffee. I hadn't eaten anything all day before that, so I was a little hesitant on eating the chocolate, but after I started, everything seemed fine. It got to 11pm and I drove my friend and my girlfriend home. This is how I fucked up... because I had a coffee at roughly 9pm, it was still in my system til about 1am. After around 1.30am I crashed, thinking ill have a nice sleep in the following morning. I was very, very wrong. I woke up at 3.30 in the morning to what felt like my stomach twisting itself in a knot, I jumped up straight away and bolted for the toilet, bumping into walls and doors because it was dark and I was disoeiented, eventually waking up my family - which didn't help the situation. For the next half an hour, I was hunched over the toilet, feeling like I was going to explode from both ends. Because I hadn't eaten anything, I wasn't able to actually vomit for ages, so I was kneeling there trying to get something up, but to no avail . It got to about 4am, and I finally felt like I was able to fall asleep. Fast forward to this morning and I am feeling a little better, but still feel like shit. | Got a virus, slept for the entire day, then got invited out to a dessert restaurant, resulted in episodes of vomiting in the middle of the night. |
t3_3lt93j | relationships | [update] My ex GF [21 F] is cool being "friends with benefits" with me [31 M] | Previously in
So i talked with my ex and she's cool about keeping our relation the way it is now. She said she wouldn't be thrilled if i started dating someone but she wants me to be happy. i want the same for her.
It's all about hoping the other is happy. but one thing is what you say and another what you do.
But then again i don't want to date anyone, i'm kinda burned of the whole thing, i don't want children either. this whole thing about meeting people and making small talk, and being super fake. i know that i'm kinda starting to being a shut-in but i'm ok with that | my ex is ok about being friends with benefits and if start dating again. but i don't want to date again, i'm super burned about the whole thing. |
t3_4h2nif | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 6 months, she didn't want me to go with her to check out rental, because she felt it would hinder her ability to get place. | I've been with my girlfriend just under 6 months. Our relationship is pretty amazing. No issues really whatsoever. We haven't ever had a fight or disagreement and hate being apart from each other. I love her so much, and she's absolutely a 10/10 in the appearance department. My dream girl.
Now onto the issue:
Lately she has been looking for a new place to live and really been struggling. The rental market is really competitive right now and she's applied for a few spots but hasn't gotten any. With the end of the month approaching she is getting pretty desperate. She set up a viewing for tonight. Spoke to the landlord on the phone and knew it was a guy. Now I had gone with her to see most of the places she's looked at, so I assumed I would for this one as well. But when it came time to set it up, she said she'd prefer to go alone. I asked why, and she said she'd be more likely to get the place if she was alone, and didn't have a boyfriend with her. I was somewhat set back by this and didn't really know what to say. I kinda acted like shocked... but she went on about how she wouldn't do anything of course but she still stood by the fact she'd have an easier time getting it without me.
I think she could tell that whole concept just made me uncomfortable so as I was getting out the car, she shouted "ok, ill take you... Ill come pick you up at 6".
Sure enough 6:15 rolls around and I get a text "sorry hun, the viewing totally slipped my mind. I won't have time to get you."
Am I wrong for feeling like this is a weird situation in the first place, and for doubting her when she says I'm looking way to much into it?
I haven't brought it up with her at all. She's at the viewing now... I'm just wondering if I should just leave it and not make a big deal of it? Maybe I'm overreacting. | My very attractive girlfriend didn't want me to go to a rental viewing, because she felt she would be more likely to get it if she was alone and didn't have a boyfriend with her. |
t3_34befv | tifu | TIFU by being interested in Hawks | Okay so this was actually yesterday but I am home from school today because of my FU so I can submit it today.
So I was outside for gym yesterday for one of the first times this spring. After doing my required running for gym class we were allowed to basically just screw around as long as we stayed on school grounds. Ran my one mile, found a friend who had also finished their running and we decided to walk to the other side of campus to go sit in the shade by some trees. When we get to the trees I see a giant hawk in one tree, granted I'm a nerd when it comes to nature, so naturally I was intrigued. I start walking backwards to see if I can get a better view of the hawk as some of the tree is blocking the full view of the hawk. While walking backwards, I'm not paying attention and walk right through this kids piss stream. He was just standing by some of the trees and decided he was too lazy to walk inside and pee so he dropped his pants and did it right on one of the trees.
After getting peed on, I freak out, take off my shirt and run over to one of the gym teachers. Seeing me running over with my shirt of my teacher, as all gym teachers would, he starts screaming at me to put my shirt back on a won't even listen to why my shirt is off. After finally explaining to the gym teacher, both me and the other guy got sent to the deans office. After talking with the dean I got suspended 3 days for having my shirt off and arguing with the gym teacher while the kid who peed on me only got suspended 1 day. | Got peed on in gym while not paying attention. Got suspended 3 days while kid who peed on me only got suspended 1 day. |
t3_p2tof | dating_advice | Fear and infatuation (or helping this HS junior introduce himself to a girl) | So, I'm a sixteen (soon to be seventeen) year old HS junior with no past relationship experience.
The situation:
·I have a crush on a girl I hardly know. The basis of my crush is some literature, displayed intelligence, and the fact that she's cute.
Need help:
·introducing myself. We've spoken incredibly briefly before but never more than a sentence. The problem is that during the only opportunity I have to speak to her she's always conversing with a male friend (I'm certain they're not dating. They never hug/kiss/touch) and I feel it would be rude to interrupt.
·Sustaining contact. How do I keep conversation for the next few days? (like, would just " hey how 'ya doing?" suffice?")
·if I do manage to keep connection, how do I make it clear I'd like to be in a relationship? I mean, obviously ask her out on a date...but how does one make it official? | Need help introducing myself to a girl I hardly know, sustaining contact, and how to take things to the next level (meaning an official relationship, not sex) |
t3_4rxyx3 | tifu | TIFU by buying xbox gift cards | **This is my first time posting a tifu so tell me if I'm doing something wrong**
**Backstory:**
So about 3 days ago, my mom and I went to the grocery store, and I remembered how xbox was doing their ultimate game sale, so i told my mom about it and she was alright with me buying some gift cards for it (40$ i got) so I did and downloaded the games that I've wanted and just started playing them normally. Also this was my stepdad's xbox(only account on there is his)and i thought he'd be fine with it.
So as I'm playing, my mom gets a call from my stepdad at work saying he found games bought on his account by email and my mom explained the whole situation(such as explaing how I'm paying for the games) and everything was fine. She just told me to ask her if i wanted to buy anything else with the money i had left and i said i would.
**TIFU begins:**
Next day, I'm just relaxing playing the games i bought, and then i see another game that i wanted and still had enough for, so i bought it even knowing i didn't even ask my mom because i thought my stepdad would just ignore it and not tell my mom, and also cause the game's normal price will go back soon. Soon to my surprise, that's exactly what happened and freaked out on me for not telling her and saying things like, "That's not your xbox!"(which i completely understand my part on that), & "Your wasting his storage!"(the size of the games combined weren't even close to filling up the system). So as of right now, I'm just waiting for when my stepdad gets home from work tonight and see how he reacts(he's doesn't talk much and is calm, but form my perspective, it seems like his job seems very stressful). | Bought gift cards for xbox ultimate game sale on my stepdad's xbox; told to ask permission before buying any game; didn't, and got yelled at by my mom; currently waiting for stepdad's arrival home |
t3_24d2em | relationships | My girlfriend (17 F) and I (18 M) just split up because "she was unhappy with herself". | So my girlfriend and I of 7 months just broke up. Well, sort of. We were happy in our relationship and a couple of fights here and there, but I never thought they mattered too much.
We broke up after a little fight and I didn't see it coming. She told me that she realized that she was unhappy with herself after the fight (as in she has yet to discover her goal in life and personal reasons) but she still has feelings for me and as do I. She also stated that she "was not good enough for me" thing. She also said she was sick of fighting, but I know that we could probably work that out. Her other main point was that she didn't want to be so dependent on me and figure things out for herself.
I kept pushing for questions and kept trying to force things (I now realize I should've given her some space but I hope it's not too late). Now, I don't know where things are right now because of my stupid questioning. I don't know what her feelings are right now and what I should do, but I've given her a week off.
She means the world to me and she was my best friend, but as of right now, we have both stopped talking to each other for a while for the best. I have a feeling that we still have something going, but at the same time, I think I might've pushed her away a little.
What I want is our friendship at the very least, but I find it hard not talking to her and her not talking to me. I never realized how much she was to me until she was gone and now I don't know what to do. I want her back, but I don't know how to get her back. So far I've given her a week to sort things out with herself, what's the game plan after that or should I give more time gradually? | Girlfriend and I broke up because she was unhappy with herself, needs space and time, tired of fighting, but still claimed she had feelings for me. Game plan to try and get her back? |
t3_3omtrd | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years. We want to elope, his mom [46 F] and sister [24 F] are very against it. Tips for navigating rocky terrain with his family? | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and recently the topic of marriage has come up as something we'd like to do soon, so of course we've been discussing it. We recently moved from the midwest to Las Vegas, and it's been kind of a running joke that we'll get married here, but it's turned into not-so-much a joke the more we've talked about it.
I am very much not a "white wedding" person, the idea of sinking thousands of dollars into one day is just absurd to me, paired with the fact that I am currently in grad school and just do not have the time to plan a wedding. My boyfriend is a little on the fence. I know he wants a party, so I thought maybe we could compromise with a destination type wedding. Our families could fly here, we could have a cheesy little wedding, and then a small group of family/close friends could hit the strip/Fremont to celebrate. It would be a blast and not break the bank. We're still working on the details, but my boyfriend seems to really love this idea since we've both fallen in love with Vegas.
The problem: My boyfriend's mom and sister really want us to have a big, white, Christian wedding. My knee-jerk reaction upon hearing this was to roll my eyes (we're not even Christian) but they have seriously pushed the issue every time we talk to them. They think a Vegas wedding would be tacky and that we would regret not having a traditional wedding.
I refuse to go into debt to please someone else, but I want to navigate this situation delicately. I really love my boyfriend's family, and I don't want there to be any animosity between us. We both (BF and I) really do NOT want a traditional wedding, but we both also don't want to devastate his mother. What are ways that we can politely tell her that it's not her day? | Boyfriend and I do not want a traditional wedding, boyfriend's mom wants us to have a traditional wedding VERY MUCH. How do we **politely** tell her to pound sand? |
t3_1sfgi6 | relationships | [23 M] Unsure where to go from here. | So my romantic relationship with my ex ended around 14 months ago and we stayed friends ever since. We both still have feelings for each other to this day and it made our friendship a bit odd to say the least. She gave up on us because having a long distant relationship was putting too much strain on her emotionally for 2 years and we had 3 moments where she broke up with me for a day or so between that. We stayed friends because of our large history. I was there for her to talk to about an emotionally abusive relationship she had to go through and during our time as a couple I was there again when the same guy (her close friend now) still put her down sometimes. Early in our relationship I helped her deal with many personal problems which I don't feel comfortable disclosing.
Someone caught her eye while she was working some months ago and they have been friends since then. They are fwb and are really fond of each other so its only a matter of time until they become a couple. It really hasn't affected me until very recently. I have suddenly become very uncomfortable with it and I am not sure what I should do. I still want to be friends with her and be there for her. | An ex I decided to stay friends with has a new guy in her life. I was fine with it until recently and I want to still be friends but unsure how to go about it. |
t3_4mt8zu | relationships | Will these feelings pass? [M24][F25] | My Fiancee [F24] and I [M23] have been together about a year and a half now.
I decided to stay in the city we're in for her. While I absolutely hate living here, I love being with her. She has a great job, which is why we stayed. I have a pretty meh job, soon to be unemployed (but actively looking with some good leads).
When we're together, things are mostly great. Fantastic. I love her a crazy amount. We laugh constantly and I'm reminded why I want to marry her.
When we're apart though, like when I go to work, I just get this weird general sense of malaise. Wondering about what would happen if I just kept driving past work, or if I turned around, packed my things and the dog up and just left.
This isn't all the time, but enough where I'm concerned about the thoughts. Any perspective helps. | Sometimes get thoughts of packing everything up and leaving Fiancee, but only when we're apart. Not constantly. Normal to feel this way? |
t3_16gidt | BreakUps | What do I do now? (M-16, F-16) | My ex-girlfriend of about 11 1/2 months broke up with me in May of last year. Things have gotten more and more confusing since then. Yesterday, we were talkin and havin fun and laughing together, I had alot of fun with her. Last night, she posted a status on Facebook, saying the next person she'd date would have to ask her out on several dates, and then they could be considered "together" (like it's really supposed to be, anway). I messaged her something to the effect of "If I were to ask you to go to the movies, would that be considered a 'date'?" She told me that her mom wouldn't let her go with me even if it was. I was very understanding about the whole thing (I thought I was, anyway). Today, I messaged her, askin "what's up?", just to be friendly and because I wanted to talk to her. She didn't answer. Then she posted a status on FB, saying something to the effect of "Need new friends. Message me if you're interested, if I don't answer you, then I obviously don't want to be your friend". I messaged her, not expecting her to message back. She didn't, of course. So I sent her another message saying something like "I get the point. It hurts, but it's your decision. I'll go now. Bye, -insert name here-." So, my question is....what do I do, now? It kills me that she doesn't want to be my friend..Do I wait for her to do something? Or wait until I see her in person again? (which will be on Monday) | Confusing relationship with ex-gf, thought things were good with us, found out she doesn't even want to be my friend. Don't know what I did wrong, or what to do now. |
t3_p6ye8 | BreakUps | Forget the past? Or learn from it. | Just some backstory; Me (17m and her 18f) were in highschool and had been dating for a year and a half. We both were REALLY close at this point and had talked about dating in college and stuff and we got along perfectly. One day though, she told me she had been going to see a 'friend' of hers at like 3 am on weekends and hanging out with him. Nothing sexual, just hanging.
She then went on to tell me she still loved me but had been cutting herself because of how guilty she felt. I felt an insurmountable guilt because I felt like I shouldn't have been at all mad (I never yelled just got a little ticked off), since they never did anything.
Anyways, she struggled with this for a couple weeks, and eventually came to me to talk. She had problems talking with me about things, but managed to talk about her issues, and at the end made me promise to take the switchblade she was cutting with. I reluctantly agreed.
Time passed, awful breakup, we became really really close friends after a while, were on and off for the rest of the year. Then I went off to college. We got in a big fight and I forgot about her
My point is that the other day I found the switchblade, and it really hit home. I'm actually studying psychology because I was so interested in mental disorders because of things people have told me in the past. I know I should probably toss it and just move on because just knowing I have it keeps her on my mind every now and then. At the same time it always keeps me encouraged to study hard and is a reminder of why I want to learn psych. | Should I keep or throw away a switchblade my ex used to cut, even though there's some pros and cons to keeping it. |
t3_2cv8gr | relationships | Me [19F] and my BF [21M] of 4 months, I love him but cannot tell him.. | My boyfriend and I have been together for approximately 3-4 months, prior to this I had no intention of getting into a long term with anyone, however, he changed that for me. I fell in love almost instantly and unfortunately i am not sure he feels the same yet. I know its early in the relationship but i would like to know if i should get my hopes up...
I know i should talk to him about this but i don't want to appear pushy, i do not know what to do, he treats me amazing while we are together but when we are apart he doesn't text me first ever and he seems apathetic towards me. He has told me he has never been in love before. I just need to know if i should go ahead and tell him or do i wait it out? | I'm in love with my bf but I'm not sure if he feels the same, should i tell him or should I wait it out until he is (if he ever is) ready? |
t3_gjewn | AskReddit | Should I have stepped in? Best Buy employee lied and used scare tactics on a customer next to me... | I was at a Best Buy purchasing a new wireless router to replace one that finally died. As I was looking at the available routers, an older man (guessing late 60s) was also looking to purchase a wireless router. The best buy employee immediately steered him to a $200 model, and told the older man it was much better. When he asked why, the employee said "This one is IPv6 ready. The internet is running out of addresses, and will run out by November. When that happens, routers not IPv6 ready won't work anymore, so you need one that is."
I'm sure many of you can figure out the multitude of things incorrect about that statement... my question is, should I have intervened, knowing a decent amount about technology, saving this poor guy from being ripped off? Or is it not my place? I have been in this situation before and have intervened, and neither party was happy about it, which is why I did not do so this time... but I felt really bad, especially because he was older. What say you reddit? Also, if it matters, The older man ultimately purchased this expensive but recommended wireless router. | An older guy was getting ripped off at Best Buy, and I want to know if I should have stepped in or if that is considered bad form. |
t3_3vephr | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 2 years, broke up over nothing(?) | We have been going out for the last two years, the last year of college and another year away from each other meeting once around 3-4 months.
She has been going through some stuff professionally and I could sense she was losing interest(fewer messages etc.) in keeping this going especially since we lived very far from each other, in a different country sometimes.
We met after 3 months, yesterday and she broke the news to me while we were leaving saying she doesn't think she can keep me happy in the long term. Even though I am a cynical person, this really shook me.
I respect her enough to not push her, but I just can't stop wondering if I'll regret this later if I don't do anything. Do I try to convince her to give it another chance? Do I suggest taking a break before getting back together? IFDK
We shared pretty good chemistry and were going great the last time we met. | 2 year relationship broken, she doesn't feel she can be the same person in the long term. Do I try to convince her to give it another chance? |
t3_4adzxu | relationships | Me [23F] with my coworkers [20-30s], I am one of the few people who have a car and am sick of being pressured to give everyone rides | I've been working at a restaurant in a town 20 minutes away for about a year and a half now. It's a major tourist destination in the summer, and during the summer season you make bank so it's worth staying through the current slow season. In the summer, there are at least 10 servers on per shift, whereas right now there is only 1-2 servers per shift.
For some reason, the manager has hired many people who don't have transportation, who live in the same town as me. Since I'm often the only person from my town to work during a shift who drives, I am usually asked to pick up and drop off coworkers who don't drive. I don't mind doing it once in a while, but I'm very introverted and prefer having the drive to myself so I can unwind and sing to the radio. I was also involved in two major car accidents 2 and 3 years ago and have severe anxiety about driving, especially with passengers.
These coworkers have never offered me gas money, which is kind of a bummer, and one even said that they shouldn't need to pay since I was going there anyway. It's also very frustrating for me to get cut from my shift early and be done, but have to wait 1+ hours to leave because I was someone's ride home. I feel like a jerk getting annoyed at people because of this, but I just want to go home when I'm done.
I have today off and was just asked to take someone to work for free, and feel horrible because I said no. It's a waste of time and money for me, and I work the next three days so don't want to make extra trips. Am I being selfish? I just like my alone time and am tired of being taken advantage of. | Coworkers keep asking for rides to and from work without offering gas money and making me stay longer hours. Am I being unreasonable? |
t3_2uup1a | personalfinance | Need to act fast on what seems to be a really good opportunity. What do I do? | Currently I am a 25 yr old single male living in my deceased grandparents house with one roommate. We have been here for a little while keeping an eye on the place and living pretty cheap while my family cleans out a lot of stuff and decides what they wanted to do with the property.
The winter is almost over and they want to sell. I would like to buy the place for its sentimental value and it's property value. Wasn't planning on buying a house so soon but this just seems like an awesome place for more than one reason but I haven't really saved anything and I haven't been pre approved for a mortgage.
My mother has six siblings. They all want their piece of the pie obviously.
Would there be anyway of getting myself into a mortgage, say without my name on it or maybe my mother or fathers names. My dad is retired and on a fixed income and my mom still works. Are they better candidates than me for this situation. I have an annuity fund with around 35k or so of accessible money after taxes that I could use to help getting a good chunk of a borrowed down payment paid off and some left over for a few months safety net.
I know I could afford 900 a month by myself but the house is huge and I could have up to 4 roommates here helping pay the bills. Which may even lead to me not having to pay my mortgage at all for a good while.
Let me know what you think I could do. Thanks. | Moms six siblings want to sell good property. Anyway for me to get into a mortgage via family gift or use either parents name for mortgage?? |
t3_hehw2 | AskReddit | Any advice for or experience with biology related volunteer opportunities? | I just finished my undergrad degree in Biology - specifically ecology and evolution - and want to take some time off to get some experience while at the same time just trying something totally new. I'm looking for something that I can spend somewhere in the neighbourhood of a few months to a year in a place completely different and far away (I'm in Montreal).
I've been looking for good volunteer spots for a while, but most of the ones I've been finding seems to require a couple thousand dollars just to volunteer (on top of airfare), something I can't exactly afford at this point in time. Anything that has room and board paid for is perfect for me, and I'm willing to work extremely hard and give up a lot of my time helping.
I am only fluent in English unfortunately, though I can manage in French if required. I am willing to go anywhere in the world, and would like things in the realm of behavioural ecology or conservation biology.
Ex: [Kalahari Meerkat Project] - something like this is what I'm looking for more or less. | Want to volunteer not *volunteer vacation*, any advice on where to look and any experience doing anything likes this is appreciated. |
t3_2kneze | askwomenadvice | I was invited to a party where I am one of two men invited. What does that mean? 27 (M) | Okay so a little background I guess. I have some close female friends through which I recently met this really cool girl. I've only hung out with her maybe three times, I like her but she doesn't really seem into me and I really don't know her very well. So I got an invite to her birthday where 13 people are invited. 11 women, a mutual friend who is openly gay and me. I didn't think much of it until I mentioned it to a few friends, one who said it means she thinks I'm gay; and the others said it means she must really like me. | Girl I only hung out with three times invites me to her birthday where I am the only (straight) male invited. All other guests are very close friends. |
t3_2eqpkp | loseit | Help me get off this roller coaster ride to weight loss! | Food and I, we have a love/hate relationship. I love eating, but hate that food always sticks around after I'm done enjoying it. As the weight packed on, my body got sluggish and I'm constantly tired. I started exercising after I graduated college when I was the heaviest I've ever been-220 pounds. I lost 50 pounds and started feeling great again, but then started letting the fat girl inside me eat. Then, the stress of grad school lowered my activity level and I no longer had time to throw together a healthy meal. I gained 30 pounds officially making me overweight again.
I moved to California about month ago and live right near the beach. I decided that while I'm on the hunt for a job, I'll start getting into a healthy living routine instead of purely weight loss. Hopefully by the time I visit family this Christmas, I'll finally lose these last 40 pounds to my GW of 160. But I'm nervous about gaining it all back as soon as life gets stressful and busy again. What are your secrets to maintaining weight loss when times get tough? | lost 50 pounds and gained 30 pounds back when life got busy and stressful again. What are your routine/dieting secrets when leading busy lives? |
t3_1lt2sr | relationships | The guy [22m] I've been dating for a couple months went on radio silence, should I just continue to do nothing? | EDIT: forgot my age/gender I'm 21F
Ever since I got back from study abroad I've been dating this guy I really like, and he never gave any indication that he wasn't interested in me. Always asking me to come over and hang out/go get drinks. He told me in the beginning he didn't want to get too serious because I was working and sill in school and he didn't want to be the kind of bf complaining I never ha enough time for him.
Which was fine for me. There was about one week in the middle when I didn't really hear from him and I assumed he was busy with his job and I texted him a couple times just to chat and then he called me and joking asked why I didn't ask him to hang out.
Well since my school started, he started a new job and has been working tons of hours, last Sunday it ha been a week since I'd seen him and I asked him out to dinner and he seemed really happy to see me and even said he'd take me out the next weekend since I paid. Well this past weekend rolls around and not a peep from him and I text Friday asking if he has plans, all I got back was "working til 9". I haven't heard from him since.
Now I'm wondering if he has just been too busy, isn't interested, or has just been interpreting me as not interested. It's killing me not knowing why. Should I just give up, and forget him? Or should I text and ask him what's up? How would i ask without sounding desperate or making a fool of myself??
Sorry for the wall of text. I'd really appreciate y'all's help, I really like this guy. | things seemed to be going really well with this guy, haven't heard from him for almost two weeks, should I forget him and move on? Or ask him what's up? (And how do I ask?) |
t3_40kzrv | relationships | I [18m] think my gf [19f] of 3 months might break up with me over a pot brownie. | Earlier today I texted my gf to have a great day at work, and she didn't respond, which is very uncommon for her. So I decided to ask her if everything is ok, and she responded back a few hours later presumably while she was on break at work, that she "Isn't very happy with me at the moment, and that we need to talk about it."
After that text I realized why she was mad, last night we went to go see the revenant, and before we went, we decided to partake in the usual make out-sesh, which was amazing as always. But this time, I fucked up bad. I decided to eat one of my ultra strong pot brownies before we went, I asked her if I should and she said it was fine. I wish I remembered that "fine" doesn't always mean fine.
We proceeded to watch the movie, when I started to feel the effects, and I noticed that she looked physically annoyed, she said that she was having a good time when I asked if everything was alright. The movie ended and we proceeded to head back to my house. She dropped me off but didn't look too happy when I got out of the car. I then texted her goodnight and then went right to sleep.
Over the course of the day I realized how much of an asshole I was, because It looked like I prioritized the high instead of spending time with her. When in the end, she is really all I care about these days. I realize how much of a fuck-up it was, but I just need help telling her I'm sorry. I really don't want to lose my relationship with this girl, she is such a beautiful person. Thanks for reading. | I ate a pot brownie before a date with my gf, she became upset with me, and now I need help with recovering our relationship. |
t3_kbhdt | dating_advice | Not sure how or if I should make a move. Help please? | I am a 23 year old female, 5'2 115lb who got out of a 5 year relationship about 10 months ago and haven't really had too much experience with the whole flirting/dating game.
I met a guy (20) about 2-3 months ago and just recently started hitting it off with him for the past couple of weeks while playing xbox games together at his place. Through mutual friends and partying there have been a couple of occasions in which we ended up spooning/cuddling together in bed (others present) but it hasn't gone past the friend-zone. The more I hang out with him the more I like him, but it's hard to say if he feels the same.
I'm one of those people that admittedly gets the jitters when I start labeling things as dates and such so I don't want to ask him out so much as just let things naturally progress. However, I'm not sure how to go about making a move. How do I know if he's interested without asking?
We text back and forth pretty frequently and he seems to enjoy my company, but I'm rusty with this kind of thing. I worry he may just be looking for a cuddle buddy or friends with benefits sort of thing which I'm not interested in. | Not sure if guy (20) I like feels the same way. How do I know if I should make a move? |
t3_1gqy0k | relationships | My girlfriend (F/29) has decided to use sex as a weapon against me (M/33) | I want to be brief to avoid a wall of text:
- Girlfriend has expressed a desire for me to come inside her repeatedly.
- She does not want to go on Birth Control
- During a conversation I honestly said that I am not ready for that at the moment as we've been unstable lately, and we don't have any precautions in place to deal with it (Morning After Pill, etc.). I have said repeatedly that I will gladly revisit this conversation when we are stabilized and prepared for this.
As a result (and her disappointment) she has told me that if I ever want to have sex again, I am to use a condom or not at all. She has also told me that there is to be little or no foreplay, just sex.
(As a background, our entire sex life we have been having unprotected sex, only using condoms in instances where she wanted me to orgasm inside her).
Other parts that may be relevant to the story:
- I am the sole income earner in our relationship. Any food, entertainment, transit etc is 100% paid by me.
- She is in a mountain of debt with no regular work. She makes enough to pay off her bills (Most months... I sometimes have helped when she can't pay what's needed with the money she makes.) | Girlfriend decided after over a year sex with condoms is the only way we are ever having sex again. This was as a result of a disagreement. |
t3_1mnk3t | relationships | Husband (32/m) thinks being gay is unnatural and I (29/f) don't agree and its making me view him differently now. | OK so my husband and I have been together a total of 11 years and this is something that has come up every so often. I usually brush it to the side and pay no mind, people will think what they want. But since there have been more gay talk/people on tv, I hear this rant more often. The rant being, gay people are unnatural. My husband has all the typical reasons (can't procreate, its a choice, etc) and refuses to see it any other way. Now I married him knowing this and I really wouldn't leave him for this either but its starting to bug me more and more.
I have tried explaining the other side. That's its about love and not choice. (did I choose to be straight?? to which he would respond, "no it is natural for you to be straight, that is what you are supposed to do.") That even in the animal kingdom there is gay interactions. That just like straight people, gay people can not pick what their body/mind is attracted to. You just are attracted to it. No matter what I say, he still thinks its unnatural. Now I don't think he would approach a gay person and tell them this, unless they asked him. Then he would not hesitate to explain his point of view. Which is fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion. This really isn't even a huge deal but it does cause me to look at him differently. Kinda the same way I would view a racist. Its just isn't right or cool, man. But like I said before, I don't think I would leave him for this.
So reddit, my question is, how do I handle this? Do I let him rant and not say a word about my opinion on the matter (it seems to start a heated discussion when I do)? Do I try to 'change' his mind on this matter? Or do I let it go and who cares what he thinks? How do I let this not bother me? I know this subbreddit has much more serious issues than mine but this is still quite bothersome. Any advice, stories, will help. | Husband thinks being gay is unnatural, and I don't agree. How do I deal with his rants on this situations, when it happens? |
t3_9poy1 | AskReddit | Moral Dilemma: Should I smoke weed (not medical) to treat my intractable pain? | Sorry for the throw-away account, but I would lose my job if anyone found out about this.
My views:
So, let me begin by saying, my position on non-medical marijuana use is complicated. I have no problem with it in principle and I strongly support its legalization. However, I have serious moral qualms with buying and using illegal drugs in the U.S. because it is part of a violent and exploitative system which hurts many people. Therefore, I have never purchased or smoked marijuana, ever.
My situation:
I suffer from a chronic pain syndrome. I am in pain all the time, but every month or so, for several days at a time, the pain is unbearable. It does not respond to narcotic pain medication, and it interferes with my job, my marriage/sex life, my relationships, my sleep, and my mood. I am very depressed and cry often. I have tried every conventional treatment and many experimental ones. Nothing has helped.
My Dilemma:
I have heard that the illness I have often responds well to medial marijuana. I live in a state where medical marijuana is legal, but not for my condition, so there is no hope of getting it from a doctor. A friend has offered to buy me some home-grown marijuana from a friend and let me try it to see if it helps. However, I would feel like a hypocrite to use marijuana to treat my pain when I generally oppose it's illegal use. Also, I am terrified of getting caught/arrested/randomly tested. What should I do, Reddit? | Should I use illegal, non-medical marijuana to treat my pain even though I oppose illegal drug use (I support legalization) on moral grounds? |
t3_42rumw | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 1.25 years, How to break up with her without making her feel bad? | I have been with this girl for over a year now, but I am no longer attracted to her.
It is no fault of her own, but I have to come to certain realisations and some things have changed in my life and I don't feel I want to be with her any more - but this is not the point of this post.
The point is, how could I break up with her in a way that would put all fault on me and not make her feel any guilt or anything (or minimal guilt), because she truly is a wonderful human and has done absolutely nothing wrong. It is just me.
Any help is appreciated, willing to lie my way into the greatest depth of hell, as long as she is hurt as little as possible. | need a fake reason to break up with a girl to make her feel as little guilt or anything as possible. Will lie about anything to do this. |
t3_jopl2 | AskReddit | My parents were just physically threatened by a contractor working on their new house. What should they do? | They've had quite a few problems with the painter for their new house (not showing up for days at a time without any communication) and he is basically the holdup preventing them from being able to move into the house. Today he told them that if they don't pay him more money he knows some thugs he would send their way. After hiring him they found out (from one of the other contractors) that he has a criminal record, so this isn't just an idle threat. So what should they do?
My first thought was to call the police, file a report, maybe have the police come out and talk to the guy, etc. But he sounds a bit unstable, so maybe that would make things worse?
He's not done with the paint job yet, so that makes things a lot more complicated. If they let him keep working on it they aren't going to feel safe with him around the place (or feel comfortable with the quality of his work) but if they cancel the contract it may just make him more angry. Any advice or suggestions are appreciated. | Painter threatened to send his ex-con buddies after my parents unless they pay up extra. What should they do? |
t3_4esnck | college | Failed all of my classes. Need next step advice. | Okay so this could be a long story.
After college I was very excited to go to my "dream school", a large private catholic college in Chicago. I attended for a year put my parents in a large amount of debt as well as myself. During the first 2 trimesters I did fairly well. The first one I got all A's and a B+, the second all B's and a C. After that I had realized that I no longer wished to pursue Political Science and became undecided. My third trimester I got mostly C's and an F.
At that point, I was lonely, discouraged, and found it outrageous to spend 51,000 a year to be undecided. So, I decided to move back to my home state and enrolled in Community College with intent to transfer to a 4-year university after the year. First semester here, I tried various subjects to try to determine my major, I got some b's, a C, and a D-. I decided on my major officially during that semester. However more things were brewing. Last week I went to the psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with Depression- which has hindered me from conjuring the motivation to go to class. So I'll end the semester with 3 F's and a W. It's going to put me on Financial Aid Warning. And not going to give me the 2.5 I need to transfer to my 4-year university. I am officially on Anti-Depressants and look forward to a better next semester granted they work.
I'm wondering what my next steps should be? I'm in contact with my community college to set up a meeting with an advisor so I'm hoping that will help a lot but I thought maybe I could get some ideas bouncing here. I've already accepted that I'll have to stay at CC for another semester. I feel like I'm so far behind at this point, I went into the college experience a half a year ahead of the game and now I have no clue where I am. | Due to depression and other issues my GPA has plummeted making it so I'm far behind and can't transfer to a 4-year university. |
t3_4xkrab | Advice | I think I may have mastered this whole motivation/discipline thing. I just don't know what to put it towards. | I've been following subreddits like /r/GetMotivated and /r/getdisciplined for a while now, and have been dealing with my fair share of mental health issues along the way. I finally feel like I have some good footing now to really start going, and I've been doing pretty well, as far as starting a routine and doing things that I don't really want to do but have to. I've made a lot of progress since I've started.
The only issue that I encounter now is the issue of having a dream, or drive, of some sort. I can get myself out of bed to do mundane things like clean my room or start exercising or other short term goals like that, but I don't know how to form any long term goals.
I have my irons in quite a few fires at the moment. Stage management, drawing, writing, and a job at a movie theater now, but none of these things have I fallen in love with. I feel like it's sort of silly of me to expect to find a dream job or anything like that, but it's still something that I strive for, and it's something that I feel that I need to be motivated to stay motivated. Everything I've tried has fallen flat. I fear if I keep motivating myself to do all these short term goals, without having any real drive behind it, I'm just going to keep falling into a depression over and over again. | I can do short term goals. I just don't know how to find long term goals to strive towards when nothing really sticks. |
t3_32h0yx | relationships | I [20 M] am considering getting back together with my ex [20 F] | Her and I used to be in a relationship a few years ago. We dated for about a year. We were a very fitting couple, according to the both of us. We could talk about anything with each other, sex was good etc. However, we decided to break up because we couldn't find time for each other. (work/studying etc)
Now that the circumstances are better, we could start dating again, and I'm fairly sure she still has feelings towards me due to the way she acts towards me whenever I happen to see her. (we go to the same uni)
Now the problem is, she is currently dating someone (I have no idea how serious this relationship is and how long they have been seeing each other).
She most likely has no idea that I'm thinking of getting back together. Should I let her know how I feel? | broke up with ex few years back, now looking to get together due to circumstances allowing it, but she is dating someone |
t3_3e0kxf | tifu | [NSFW] TIFU by having my boss take out my trash | Probably not NSFW, but just being safe.
So I just moved to a new city because I got this new job. A coworker I used to work with previously is now my boss at this new job. He offered to let me stay with him and his family(toddler and newborn) while I searched for a house. I graciously accepted. Cool guy and we get along very well.
Fast forward 3 weeks, I'm starting to feel a little comfortable and thinking it'd be okay to give the ol' flesh flute some attention. While in the guest room, I rub one out and, as expected, its damn near a Gatorade cooler full of sploosh.
Instead of dumping said cooler on the head of some coach, I reacted quickly(impressively, really) and managed to shoot most of it in the plastic bag lining the trash can in the bedroom, using tissues to get the rest off my hand.
Fast forward about an hour, while downstairs, he mentions he's going to take out the trash, meaning gather up all the trash around the house and take it out because of the newborn going through pampers so often.
I think nothing of it and follow him upstairs after about 2 mins or so. I walk in the guest room and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I DON'T KNOW WHY, he's reaching his hand in the garbage can and removing the trash to place in the bigger bag he's carrying around. He stops kind of abruptly and walks out past me.
Time to buy a house. | While staying with my boss, I blew my load in the guest room trash can and later, he removed the trash with his bare hands while gathering up all the trash in the house to take outside. |
t3_vo6mo | relationships | Not sure how to deal with my mother's outbursts when I'm sick. What should I do? | So I'm an 18 year old female in my final year of high school, and I've always, *always* had a crappy immune system. Constantly getting viruses, bugs and colds. I'm pretty sure it's due to a severe lack of sleep and insomnia over the years since my diet is great and exercise is average I'd say.
Whenever I wake up in the morning either throwing up or just feeling terrible and exhausted, I ask to stay home from school, or wait an hour or two to see how I'm feeling, and then go to school. I only ask to stay home when I know I absolutely can't go because of throwing up etc.
Recently this year, when I've been sick or caught a bug she immediately starts yelling, screaming and blaming me for it saying I'm just faking it. This morning she slammed the door open so forcefully that there was a dint in the plaster, and she threw my medicine packet at my face. Obviously if I've been throwing up all night it isn't faking it, and she knows this. I think it's just the initial rage that I'm going to be missing another day of school that overpowers her and makes her so incredibly angry, because almost always she apolgises later on and says she doesn't know what came over her. We talk about this, and she says she will try to work on it, but it just seems to be getting worse. So so much worse. I'm scared it will escalate to violence or something now that the throwing of objects has started.
The weird thing is, her mother also used to do this to her. They had a strained relationship and there was always some resentment between them. The fights they had were nightly, I just don't want this to happen between us at all.
I guess I'm just asking, what can I do to help her with these outbursts of rage and anger. I'm scared that it's just going to get worse, and the last thing I need when I'm really sick is to be yelled at and to feel guilty. | Mother gets really angry when I say I'm sick and need to stay home from school. The outbursts are getting much worse, what do I do? |
t3_45ysms | relationships | Me [27M] with my 25F of a few weeks, still get anxious when she isn't responsive even though I am going to end things with her | I'm going to end things with the girl I am dating, nothing against her, but it's just not going anywhere. I don't need help on how to do that. It's just that I've struggled with relationship anxieties and attachment issues in the past (it's ended relationships). Even now, when I know I am going to end things, she hasn't texted me all day, and I'm feeling all of those anxieties. I'm seeing a therapist to work these out more fully, but I won't be seeing him until Wednesday and really want to figure out why this is happening with someone I know I am going to end things with. | Going to end things with current partner (short term, amicable, just no spark), still experiencing relationship anxieties I've had in the past and confused as to why |
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