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t3_16ahlu | relationships | I [18m] Need help with my parents [60m] [54f] after a night of drinking | Hey guys, could you give me some advice on how to talk to my parents when they get home from work tonight?
I went to a friends place and we were all drinking which meant that we can't drive home from his place, Now I had texted my mum [54] at about 6:30PM but when I tried to call later and tell her I was staying the night she didn't answer, so after that point I didn't think to call her again.
I got home around midday today and i'm concerned as to how to talk to them and explain myself. They are fervently anti-alcohol and as far as they know I only had a single beer and just dozed off. My dad is probably going to tear me to shreds so is there anything I should say that might make them understand/lessen the severity? | I fucked up and forgot to call my parents while drinking at a friends place, they woke the next morning and I wasn't home. What can I do? |
t3_3w5up2 | relationships | Me [23F] with my boyfriend [27M] of one year, huge fight about what to get his family for Christmas | Important background: His dad died 3 months ago and his temper and emotions have been nearer the surface than usual due to very understandable grief. Also, this is my first Christmas with his family.
Current Issue: A couple weeks ago boyfriend says he wants to donate money to a cause in lieu of giving his immediate family gifts this year, says he had a talk with his dad about it a few years ago so he feels strongly. I say great, no problem, I'll contribute.
Today I come home and let him know I'm just going to get the immediate family little gifts (Think, under 15$ each), as it's my first Christmas with them, I don't want to show up empty handed and I'll feel uncomfortable if they get something for me.
He essentially flips his lid. He says I'm undermining him, that he prohibited me from getting gifts and I'm not respecting his wishes for his family (I did NOT understand that I was prohibited from doing anything from our first conversation). Then, he boils it down to me saying his gift "sucks" and he's a "grinch" because I wanted to get them presents. He essentially forces me to apologize to him for hurting his feelings. I of course told him I didn't mean to hurt him and I won't get them any presents (despite my discomfort) and I'll do whatever he wants.
He basically told me I was a terrible partner. All I do is cook for this man, clean, sleep with him, take care of his many emotional needs and he continues to make me feel like I can't do anything right, even when I do whatever he wants/asks. | Boyfriend really mad as he feels I've undermined him by wanting to by his family Christmas gifts, I'm at a complete loss. Am I totally nuts here? What do I do? |
t3_48pvqo | relationships | Me [16 M] with my crush [15 F], how do I have a normal conversation with her? | Hey so, I have a crush on an old friend of mine, she stayed away from me for 3 months because one of my friends was telling her things about me that weren't true. Recently she's been fine whenever I'm near her, but I really wanna be able to talk to her. The main problem is that I get freaked out every time I try.
I recently had a conversation with her that lasted about 5 minutes, but I wanna be able to talk to her for longer. I know she wants to talk to me too, she always seems happy to do so whenever I try to. The problem now is that I don't know what to talk about. I know that I shouldn't bring up anything too personal, but I have no idea what constitutes as too personal.
Any help would be greatly appreciated! | I can't have a normal conversation with my crush, need help with what to talk about, or anything about conversations. |
t3_2rcudc | relationships | Me [19 M] not sure how much to stay in contact with a girl I dated [20 F] while she studies abroad | College student here. At the end of the semester, I met a girl who I really clicked with. We dated for about a month, but I knew before I asked her out that she would be spending the next semester abroad, so we didn't get extremely serious. That said, we developed strong feelings for each other and got along very well. At the end of the semester we broke up because we didn't want to hold each other back, but we have agreed to stay in touch and at the very least go out for coffee once she returns.
Now that we're technically broken up, I'm confused about how much I should stay in touch with her. I don't want her to forget about me and want to be somewhat updated on how her life is going, but I also don't want to waste her time (or put her on a pedestal either—both of us should be able to date other people during the 9 months that she's abroad).
Since the beginning of winter break, we had one pleasant text conversation and have exchanged sporadic snapchats. That's it. Once the semester begins again I plan to send her an email asking how her break went, but besides perhaps a monthly email, I want to hold off on communication so that we don't get tired of each other before she gets back.
Generally, I want to err on the side of less communication while she's gone. It doesn't help that she's not the best at communication (not in a nefarious way—she just isn't always on her phone or staring at her computer screen). But I also don't want to lose a chance at picking things up again with this girl, since I really enjoyed spending time with her when we were together and I don't want bad timing to be the reason the relationship comes to a permanent end. Is this the right mindset to have? Am I overthinking this whole thing? | A girl who I dated for a month and a half is studying abroad; we are not together for the time being but agreed to keep in touch. How much and in what way should I communicate with her? |
t3_3jxuo3 | relationships | I [21 M] want to ask out a girl I know [22 F] but she lives about four hours away. Is there any way to make this work? I'm not sure how I feel about long-distance relationships. | I'm a very anxious/self conscious guy, and using social media seems to bring that out of me even more than usual. I think this is because I'm very quiet and this doesn't translate well into online communication, or something, who knows...
Anyways, there's a girl I really like; her family is friends with my family and we somewhat recently got back into contact with them, and we all get along well, her, her younger brother, my younger sister, and I. The problem is she goes to school pretty far away; about a four hour trip from where I live. But I really, really like her, and I can't stop thinking about her.
Another problem is that she is also very shy, and I tried messaging her awhile ago (about 7 or 8 months ago) and it went back and forth a bit, before fizzling out.
Basically, I am wondering if any of you think it's worth me trying to get to know her better or even telling her that I really like her, and if you might have any tips on how I might go about doing so.
Also, as for whether or not she might feel the same way about me, I really can't tell. She is very friendly towards me, she laughs when I try to be funny, and we can talk somewhat, even with being shy, but I really cannot tell if she likes me or not. We make a fair bit of eye contact when we talk and stuff, though I try to do that with most people. The only thing I can go off is that when we've left their family the last two times, it's seemed that she's made a (perhaps very slight) effort to say more of a goodbye to me, but that could be in my head, and also I saw her glance at me once (reading that back now sounds totally desperate but I'll leave it in there).
Anyways, hope someone (or multiple someones) might have some advice / tips / something to help me out. Thanks! | I'm awkward, I like awkward girl, she lives far away, I want to be with her, can't tell if she likes me back (how typical), what should I do? |
t3_1koeer | pettyrevenge | If you can't accelerate, don't tailgate | Saturday I was driving on a rural 2 lane highway, full of rolling hills and curves. It's hard to pass on the highway, and there are only a few place where you can safely do it. I was doing what I consider a very reasonable 5 - 7 mph over the speed limit, but an asshole driving a semi insisted on tailgating me for miles, even though the chance for passing was virtually nill. Normally I don't care too much about tailgaters, but having an 80,000 pound vehicle right on my ass that can't exactly stop on a dime was pissing me off.
So we eventually come to a river valley, and the river flat (prime for passing) is a couple miles long, with about a mile climb back up out of the valley on the far side. I, being the nice guy I am, slowed down a bit when there was a generous gap in oncoming traffic, thinking the semi will take the opportunity to pass. Did he, though? Of course not! That's why I'm here writing this. He kept tailgating me, making no attempt whatsoever. Asshole. I sped back up, and when we started the climb up out of the valley I let up on the gas and slowed down to about 35 mph. Of course he was nearly in my trunk, but I downshifted and gunned the car (turbo forester) and in no time I was doing 20 over the limit. Before I crested the hill, I looked back, and there he was, belching black smoke, not even a third of the way up the hill. Miles later, the next and final glimpse I get of him, he's a good 2 - 3 minutes behind me. I had a smile on my face the rest of the drive home. | slowed way down going up a hill for a tailgating semi truck and then gunned it and left him struggling, leaving me feeling particularly smug. |
t3_48xowg | Dogtraining | Feeling inadequate, want my dog to get things faster! | This morning I saw [this new kikopup video] where her 12-week-old collie is basically a genius already. I realise collies are insanely clever and that kikopup is an amazing trainer, but it made me feel pretty inadequate given that my 10-week-old sheltie can't even sit yet or respond to his name - he'll definitely be nowhere near Wish in two weeks.
This is my first time with a puppy by myself and my first time using clicker training, but I guess I thought my puppy would learn a bit faster. I got a sheltie specifically because they're smart and biddable, and I plan to do agility and obedience with him when he's older. But I'm starting to worry that he's not smart enough for that!
We do lots of short training sessions a day, and we are working on recall, sit, name, crate, leave it, and being calm while touching his feet, face, etc. He seems to know the commands to go in and out of his crate, but other than that I don't think he knows anything. Leave it is just not working at all, even though I'm following kikopup's tutorial. He just doesn't get it! | I guess I'm just looking for some tips on how to improve my training, or maybe reassurance that it's okay for a 10-week-old puppy to not know anything! |
t3_28dyz2 | relationship_advice | My parents want me [19/m] to break up with my girlfriend [19/f] after they found out she is transferring to my college. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years, with little to no issue at all. I love spending time with her and being with her. Unfortunately, my parents have never really liked my girlfriend all that well. My father is convinced that she is manipulative and overbearing in our relationship, and my mother follows in my father's opinion, but is less vocal about it. They are concerned that I will no longer be myself in college and that she is going to take over my life and destroy who I am. I do not agree with this, but I do feel like I might lose some of the freedom and space I had with my friends last year. It was nice this past year being able to experience being my own person and not having to be known as "that couple". I do not want to break up with her because of my strong feelings for her, but at the same time my dad will no longer condone us dating after I told him she was transferring and I don't want to lose the space I was able to have to grow at college.
I'm confused and honestly pretty depressed about losing a girl that I have immense feelings for or my dad on the verge of disowning me - any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Breakup with girlfriend to appease very very angry parents and maybe get some space for friends, or stay with girl that makes me happy and that I care about immensely and is honestly one of my best friends. |
t3_27qglx | relationships | I [F20] have no idea where I stand with my sex friend [M20] | I [F20] have been hooking up with my sex friend person [M20] for a couple of months. We graduated from the same high school and have known each other for about 8 years.
About a week in, we had a conversation that absolutely blew up everything we had going on. I admitted that I had until very recently been hooking up with another guy- because I had thought that what we had was casual and honestly didn't think it was a big deal. Well, to him it was. He ended things and was pretty angry with me.
About a week later we talked again, we both wanted to get back together but had some concerns. We agreed to get back together on a couple of conditions- one of which was that we be exclusive.
So now we're hooking up, exclusively, but not in a relationship. It's at the point where when we're asked about whether or not we're dating we both are just like "What? No. Of course not.", and I keep getting mixed signals from him. He'll act super affectionate and caring in person, but not in person it's like we don't exist to each other.
I hate existing in this limbo like area. I have no idea where I stand with him. What should I do? | I am exclusively hooking up with this guy, but am not in a relationship. He acts weird. I act weird. I hate being in limbo. What is this? What do I do? |
t3_39gei9 | relationships | Me [29M] with my girlfriend [30F] of 5 months are coincidentally moving to the same city for work at the same time... The subject of living together has come up. Is it too soon? | My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 5 months now. The relationship is still young, but I feel I know her very well and that she knows me. We spend much of our free time together and usually see each other every day.
We're both highly ambitious software engineers. Shortly before we met she'd been offered a job starting in 6 months time in London (~150 miles away) by her company, who are centralizing to there... This is now next month. We were planning on having a long-distance relationship, but I've recently been offered a job in London too!
Logically we had a discussion about living together. She said living together "felt right, but was scary because it's so soon". I was against the idea originally, my instinct was to live separately, but the more I think about it the more certain I am that I want to live with her - we'd probably spend most of our time at one of our flats anyway. I can't fight that feeling it's too soon though, 5 months is nothing!!
We certainly wouldn't be moving in together if we were staying in our current city.
Does anyone have any experience with such fast movement in a relationship? and what questions should I be asking myself? | My girlfriend of 5 months and I are coincidentally moving to the same city for work, do we live together or not? Is it too soon? |
t3_11b728 | AskReddit | Okay Reddit were all relatively anonymous here! When/where is the most embarrassing time you've shit yourself as an adult/teen and either magically got away with it....or didn't. | Let me start with a stinky old tale.
On a camping trip in the absolute middle of nowhere (remote island of north of Malaysia). Me and a Bunch of friends from school sharing a tent and naturally we had to poop in the jungle after digging a hole.
One day I was hit by the stomach cramps of doom and I had no choice but to take a dump during the day. Unfortunately the jungle was not massively thick and just as I began to part with my Siamese twin of a poo somebody shouted
'HEY ARE YOU SHITTING!? HAHAH'
I immediately pulled my shorts up and shouted NO! Back. Unfortunately I was and... I still was.
I had no option but to hide the poo pants in my tent as nightfall was my only time to dispose of them. Unfortunately the next day they were discovered and all my friends in the tent were screaming AHHH SOMEONE SHIT THEMSELVES!!!
Naturally I decided to scream that too thinking it would absolve me as a suspect. Everyone denied that they were the owners of my stinky poo pants naturally... So I decided to get each one of my 3 friends separately during the day and told them all the same story.
'Dude we shouldn't tell anyone about this because 'he' (i actually chose the guy who discovered my poo pants) definitely is the guy who shat himself.. I know. So lets just leave him alone okay? He seems really upset about it, he told me not to tell anyone'
They all agreed and i got away as the phantom pooper. | shat myself, hid undies unsuccessfully, played all my fellow tent friends off against each other and got away with it. |
t3_1zm49e | dating_advice | The odds are against me[23M] but I have a really good feeling about this one [25F]. Advice? | So I'm black, slightly overweight and very insecure about my body. And to top it off, I just got braces so ending a charming conversation with metal mouth is discouraging. But I truly believe that there's someone who can see past the temporary flaws.
Fast-forward to a Math 210 course. I take my seat and mind my own business like any normal school year. Headphones in until the professor comes in. As she enters the room and greets the class, I begin to put my ipod away and my elbow hits something.
"Sorry", I say, but i'm not sure what I've bumped into. I turn around and there's black tea spilled all over this girls folder and desk. Then I proceed to freak out and help her frantically dry off her belongings. "Oh that's okay, it was my fault." NOW I feel like garbage and as the first day of class progresses I can't stop turning around and babbling about how its my fault and how sorry I am. UGH.
The class goes on and I'm not too worried about the work because I've had this teacher before and I've taken the beginning of the course already, so it's in the bag. But this girl (lets call her Courtney) is having trouble with the work. I offer myself up as a tutor to make up for making a mess of her belongings and we've now met a couple times while I teach her what she doesn't get.
Now here's my dilemma. She's absolutely gorgeous. Perfect smile, blonde, nice skin, in shape, quirky and has a good sense of humor. And I'm still in my insecure skin. I really like her and I want to make my intentions clear before I get friendzoned once more in my life. I want to ask her out on a real date without making it awkward. It just seems weird to say, "Hey, I know i'm your tutor, but would you like to go our sometime?" | I'm tutoring this girl and although I'm just helping her with her schoolwork, I want to ask her our. |
t3_3ofvwj | relationships | My [26M] girlfriend [26F] of 3 months asked me if I have ever been with a prostitute. I didn't lie to her and told her yes. Now she's rethinking what's between us. What should I do? | My girlfriend asked me last night if I have ever been with a prostitute, and I told her the truth. That I was drunk with my friends in Amsterdam and that we wanted to experience new things. And that it was years ago and that I am never thinking of doing it again.
She was shocked about what I told her and was very concerned about safety issues. I told her that it's very regulated and that I am tested and there is no problem. She said that she wanted to rethink about the subject.
And when I told her that she said she used to have unprotected sex with her boyfriend. She said that what I am saying is not helping the subject.
And when I asked her what is making her mad, she said that she didn't like the idea of it, and she doesn't know if she can be with someone who did this.
What should I do? Did I fuck up by telling her? | I told my girlfriend that I had been with a prostitute. She wants to rethink our relation. What should I do? |
t3_23ygsy | relationships | 2nd breakup with the girl of my dreams. how do i get over her... for good? | [25m] dated the girl [24f] of my dreams 2 years ago. we broke up. 2 years later we got back together. i dated someone else. she dated someone else. we broke up with our respective partners about the same time and we began to talk again. we were basically a couple for about a month but then slowly started distancing ourselves and now i believe its over again as she's "not ready." last time she told me she wasnt rdy she dated the next guy within a month and dated for 9 months. its hard for me to believe her when she says she's not ready because i see how happy she is with me. she even tells me she likes me and always wishes her ex was more like me. i just dont get it but im emotionally drained. i cant do it.
how do i get over this? the first time we broke up i had to go to therapy... i need encouragement to do this alone!
i have plenty of friends. i have a job. i work out. i can keep myself busy but not 100% busy enough to keep her from clouding my mind. i think about her ALL THE TIME and its driving me insane. i believe i had a panic attack one night where i literally sat in bed trying to catch my breath until i had to call a friend to help calm me down. i feel stupid for letting a girl affect me so much. i know all the answers; she isnt/wasnt the one. plenty of fish in the sea. i can/have slept with other girls to just keep myself busy. just nothing works. do i have to find someone else to replace her? should i work on myself? but for how long? what do i do? | girl isn't "ready to date" i feel completely lost as we had an amazing relationship. how do i get over it? |
t3_3gv9ir | jobs | Need help negotiating. What is the appropriate way to approach my current employer? | I'm in the fortunate situation of having a skill set and experience level that are in high demand. I've never been overly aggressive with my career, title, or pay ... I mostly just like doing good work and living a comfortable life that isn't too stressful.
I've been with my current employer for 3 years, and have changed roles dramatically in that time. I was hired as a Senior Web Designer, and have moved between marketing, UI roles, Creative Director, and am now in a limbo state managing the marketing department (and doing the creative work as well) after a round of layoffs. My pay has been climbing at the standard rate during this, regardless of new responsibilities, department changes, etc. It's a comfortable job with good benefits and I really enjoy the people I work with, work 4 mins from home, etc., and I'm not looking to leave if I can help it, but I would like to be fairly compensated.
One of the people that left in that transition is in a new company that is exciting and seems like a great opportunity. She'd like to bring me over there, and I am sure I can make more money there. It seems like a very good opportunity for someone with a mixed set of experience like I have. I also have others that are asking similar, and turn down really good freelance or contract roles weekly. Point is - I find myself in high demand, and I don't know how to make the most of it.
**So, my issue:** I simply do not have experience negotiating with an employer. If I were to evaluate what someone with my experience level and title were making, it would be 20%-30% higher than what I make. I have a soft offer that's there for me at around 20% more right now.
If there were no concerns, I would love to just tell my boss, in spirit: "Hey, I have an offer for XXX. Can you beat that?" without it being a negative discussion. I do not know the ethics of how this negotiation should flow, or what is appropriate. | Highly experienced and in-demand. Don't know appropriate way to leverage inbound opportunities to better current work situation. Would like to stay at current situation if results are favorable. |
t3_2s2a4k | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex-girlfriend [19 F] 3 weeks, ex wants me back. | (Posting for a friend)
Dated girl A for 18 months. Eventually things turned sour, she got back into class A drugs, after 18 months off and then started being really secretive. I wasn't happy with the relationship towards the end up still loved her so didn't want to let go. Girl A broke it off because she wanted to be "free" and enjoy being young.
Girl B is gorgeous, really ambitious, super nice and generally really understanding. I've been talking to girl b for a few weeks and seen her a few times. We get on really well and shes so lovely. Girl A has started being nice again and said she wants me back and made mistakes and is turning her life around. I still have feelings for girl A, i've never felt so comfortable around someone but shes jobless, doesnt really have any ambition and is a bit rough round the edges. Girl B, is awesome, has her life all sorted, is prettier, she has everything. | Do i go back to my ex (who may have turned a corner) or do i carry on with the new one? |
t3_221gi6 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my fiance [28 M], 2 years. I found the engagement gift I bought him on the floor. | My fiance and I otherwise have a wonderful relationship. He is kind and considerate. He's an all-around great partner.
I'd like to know if I'm being too sensitive about an issue or whether I have good reason to be upset. After he proposed to me with a ring, I bought him a nice watch in return. He said he loved it, and he has worn it every day since he got it.
Last night, I found the watch on the floor. I asked him why it was there and he said he had looked for it that morning and couldn't find it, so he didn't wear it to work.
I understand that it's possible to lose something. It just happens. But why didn't he tell me about it? Why didn't he text me while he was at work and ask me to look for it? Why didn't he look for it as soon as he got home instead of doing other things and then going to bed? I know he is generally more laid-back than me, but I can't understand why he wouldn't at least put in the effort to find it as soon as possible rather than having this "it'll turn up" attitude. It feels like he didn't care about it. Why would someone have an attitude like that about such an important object? | My fiance couldn't find the watch I bought him as an engagement gift. He gave up on looking for it, and I found it on the floor later that night. What does this mean? |
t3_2zikct | relationships | I [24M] slept with another woman last night. Is it wrong to not feel guilty? | I've been in a ~4 year relationship with my 22F girlfriend. We've had lots of issues in our relationship until this past year when we took a break and got back together. Everything has been 99.9% perfect in our relationship since then. My girlfriend is out of town right now and I went out knowing what the girl invited me wanted. Hung out at a few bars and we walked to our cars and then the discussion ensued. The girl is my friend and if we would've met on different terms something definitely would've been there. We started discussing sex and I told her it would only be one time. She agreed and we had nearly the best sex I've ever had.
Today I've been meditating and thinking about everything and I realized I don't feel guilty. It was fun and that's all that it was, there was no emotional connection for me (although I know there was a little bit for her).
I know why I did it as well. My girlfriend is kind of lazy and doesn't like working out or getting out of her comfort zone, she's also very conscious about her appearance (1 pimple = bad day), she also is fine with sex 1-2 times a month whereas I'm more 1-2 times a day. The girl I slept with is really fit, we're into the same sports and we love working out, etc. So I think I did it because I saw the qualities I want in my girlfriend. We spoke about if I was going to marry my girlfriend last night and I said yes but in my head I know that I won't until she can meet me at some level on physical activity as that's a huge part of my life, also some change in the sex life wouldn't hurt.
I'm not going to tell my girlfriend for obvious reasons but if she ends up finding out I will own up to my actions. This is the only time I've ever done anything like this in ANY relationship. Is it wrong for me not to feel guilty? | Good relationship with girlfriend but lacks certain qualities that are very important to me, slept with a girl that has those qualities under the condition it was only once. Is it wrong to not feel guilty? |
t3_4y6p0n | relationships | Took some time apart with a girl I was dating. How long is long enough time? 32/m 32/f | I started hanging out/dating my friends sister a few months ago. She was separated but the divorce wasn't final. It wasn't a planned thing but we just had a lot in common and it developed quickly.
Over the next few months we became much closer but recently (bout 3 weeks ago) she said she needed some time. This came right after her divorce was finalized. Between that and losing her father a few months ago it was a lot for her to take in.
Either she didn't like me as much as I thought she did or she was having a hard time with the other stuff in her life. Either way, I wasn't going to make it difficult for her. Anyway, when my friend mentioned it I played it off like maybe she wasn't as into me (just to not get too in depth with it) and she corrected me saying how much she liked me. I saw her about a week ago and we all hung out for a bit. Things were great. We really connect well when we see each other. I want to ask to hang out or go to dinner even if it's not as a couple.
That is kind of the fence I'm on: I want to give her space if she still needs it but I also don't want us to go back to being just acquaintances. I do want this to be something if it can be. What do you think? | Girl I was dating needed space because she was dealing with other issues. How long should I wait? Can I ask her to hang out? |
t3_13osyb | needadvice | I am underage and got pulled over last night, help... | So last night I was driving with my cousin at 2am to drop off a friend down the street from a family party. A cop pulled me over and told me that I didn't have my headlights on. The thing is that I am underage and does not have a license. I am 17 years old. My cousin who is 18 does have a license but it wasn't on him at the time. So the only id I had was my school id. He got both of our names and address. Later he tells us to switch seats because my cousin can drive. He then tells us to go home and tell our parents what happened or else he'd come and do it himself. Later that night(about 10 or 20 mins later) the party was over so we left. My mom was driving down the same street I got pulled over at and the cops were still there but my mom just slowed down enough to look at them. I don't think any of them noticed they It was the same car they pulled over earlier. I live in California. I want to know what might happen next? How screwed am I? The cop did not tell us that he was getting us with any infraction and just told us to go home and tell our parents. I was polite and answered his questions the best I can and always said Sir. Thanks Reddit! | Underage me in California got pulled over by cop and he just tells my cousin and I to go home and tell our parents what happened. What might happen next? |
t3_34sg5i | tifu | TIFU by telling a cop to blow me | Well this happened last night as I was DD for 4 stupidly drunk people. After leaving the bars they decided to continue the party in my car with the music on blast and their horrible off key singing to go along. Being the good friend that I am I agreed to DD for them but I was running I mild fever before we even left and now at 2:30 in the morning I was feeling like absolute crap.
In my rush to make our 40 minute drive as short as possible I was going about 10 miles over the speed limit. Of course on a Saturday night, on the highway leaving Seattle, a loud car full of people, speeding I get pulled over.
Knowing I hadn't had a single drink all night I try to be polite as I can with the officer and explain the situation. He doesn't care and makes me get out a do a sobriety test anyway. Now here's the thing about me, I have horrible balance. I am not coordinated at all. So walking a straight line with one foot in front of the other was damn near impossible for me.
After struggling to walk this line and stumbling/ falling a few times I had had enough. I was beyond frustrated from being drug around bars while my head was pounding and my fever getting worse, my obnoxious friends, and this police officer who didn't believe my story and just let me go. I look towards the officer and say (more like yell) "why don't you just blow me?!".
It was one of those moments when the words leave your lips and you want to quickly suck them back in but it was too late. I honestly meant to ask him to use a breathalyzer and tried explaining this to him but he was already pissed off and ready to give me as many tickets as he could.
So to wrap up my story he eventually breathalyzed me, I blew a 0 but still ended up getting a speeding ticket and a ticket for my tint being too dark which resulted in 250 dollars for each ticket. | Told a cop to blow me when I meant to say breathalyze, ended up with 500 dollars in tickets. |
t3_2ybufm | relationships | I [21 M] was broken up with by my GF [20 F] of 5 months, she broke up over personal issues from both of us, should we stay friends? | We argued often but when we talked it over they always stemmed from our issues and she had valid reasons that I could understand. I'm immature with money and my school work and she wants me to mature. I study because she often had to nag me. She is suffering from personal issues and insecurities and while I made her forget I didn't fix. She wants to split so I can grow and she can deal with her things but she doesn't know if we are gonna get back together.
She said its entirely possible but don't wait for each other or pine for the other. After our whole talk we chatted casually for a bit and she said she wanted to take it all back but resisted. Part of me isn't that sad because I have hope that we may get back together though not anytime soon or maybe because she wants to stay friends and I can still see her. The only thing changing is probably no physical stuff. | Girlfriend broke up with me over legitimate personal issues that I have and that she has. It was a clean and understanding break up, she wants to stay friends. Nothing will change between us except no physical contact. Is this wise? |
t3_3l6xev | tifu | TIFU by letting my two and a half year old watch Iron Man 2. | So...my two and a half year old son, Jack, woke up with the gnarliest goopy eye ever. Call in sick to work, take him to the doctor, it's pink eye. So..yada yada yada...We're home and I have just put the drops in his eyes. He says he wants to "Nuggle Mom and watch a movie wif me!" So I start goin through the channels.
Let me preface this by saying my son is obsessed with superheros. He knows all of the Avengers and Marvel guys and their human identities, their home planets, all the DC characters, villians, etc. His whole room is superheros and all of his favorites toys and movies and shows are Avengers or Ironan related.
So...I see Iron Man 2 is on. Now..I saw it in the movie theater once and vaguely remember it's horridness. But, I peer down at this little human curled around me and see his goop eye, and God forgive me I caved. So I said..."Look Jack! IRON MAN" and clicked it on.
He. Flipped.
He continues to watch, and beg me not to leave or change the channel the whole time. And as soon as it's over..."AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN !"
So...here I am...downloading the torrent of Iron Man 2 to fulfill the sickly dreams of my dear dear toddler. Blergh. | Let my sick toddler watch Iron Man 2 and now this day will never end as we repeat it over, and over, and over. |
t3_51vqrt | relationships | I [22 F] discovered one of my biggest flaws in trying to make new friendships/relationships. Is it too late for my friends to see me in a new light? | I'm an over-sharer. Simply put. I realized tonight as I was spewing verbal diarrhea YET AGAIN to a friend that some broken part of me thinks the only way to forge meaningful connections with others is to share very personal things. I've taken on this persona of ~broken girl~ and held on to all the pain and hardship in my life so tightly that I forgot that all that pain and hardship doesn't even impact me anymore.
I could go on for ages about why I think this way and yada yada yada but that's not really the point (And it would be oversharing haha). My main question is this; if I stop oversharing and being the one with all the damage, is it possible that my close friends' opinions of me will change?
Sure, they are my friends and I know they love me. But I know if I were in their shoes it would get annoying. I'm just scared that the damage is done and they will always see me as the debbie downer or the one who always has something to complain about.
So, do you think that it's possible for someone's opinion of someone to change on this level? Should I acknowledge the oversharing to them or should I just work on it internally? | I've been an angsty teenager to all my friends and have been sharing way too much personal shit. Will they see me like that forever or can their opinion of me change if I do? |
t3_1r0itq | relationships | Me [20 F] with my SO [21 M] 4 years, is it wrong for me to be upset that he doesn't work? | As the title suggests, we've been going out 4 years since high school, he was a senior, I'm one year younger. I've worked pretty much the entirety of our relationship, he worked for 4 months the summer after his first year of uni as his parents encouraged his cousin to hire him.
We're both in uni now, I in my 3rd year, he in his 4th. I've always paid for the majority of things, never minding much since I was constantly working and understood he wanted to focus on school. He's in engineering, and the load is quite heavy. However, this year I decided to quit because my savings allowed it and wanted to focus primarily on school since my marks were beginning to suffer. I think my quitting and talk of how stressful it was to work during school scared him into never finding a job during school, despite the fact that his schedule this year would allow it.
He often claims he doesn't have enough time to focus on two things at once, while always having time to play video games or going through marathons of shows on netflix. Since I'm no longer working, I've put an effort into carefully spending the savings I have until I work again in the fall. Lately our time together has been spent either marathoning shows or just laying down and watching TV. I miss going out and doing things, but if I don't want to watch tv, then I have to put a concious effort into either planning something that doesn't involve spending money OR put up the money to spend. His money comes from his mom who rations out $100 at a time to him. I knew that when I quit my job, we would have to stop going out, but it's really highlighted the fact that I'm always the one who has to put in effort (whehter its in planning, or paying) if we're gonna do something that sitting at one of our houses doing nothing. Am I wrong to be upset about this? | BF doesn't work, doesn't want to spend money he has, so if we want to go out, I have to offer to pay for it all the time. Am I wrong to be upset about this? |
t3_3ej4v6 | tifu | TIFU by dumping out my soup onto the floor at a restaurant and getting caught. | So I always tend to have a pretty small appetite. I can almost never finish a whole meal when eating out. It embarrasses me a bit to leave so much unfinished food, and I also worry about making the restaurant think I don't like the meal.
So normally what I do, when nobody is looking, I dump uneaten food onto the floor under the table.
This makes it look like I finished my meal. They won't find the food on the floor til later in the evening, and won't know it was me who did it. They have to clean anyways, so it's harmless to everyone. A win-win.
I foolishly got a soup appetizer when I was out earlier tonight. I was about half way done and I knew I couldn't finish and wanted to save room for my dinner.
I waited for my friend to go use the restroom. When I thought nobody was looking, I dumped the soup out onto the floor under the table.
To my astonishment and horror, this busy-body gentleman (I use the term loosely!) sitting behind me saw me and exclaimed "Hey! What are you doing!?"
I ignored him. I was panicked now. I was astounded and horrified as I saw him get up and talk to a nearby waiter. He was pointing at me. I then overheard him telling the waiter I had dumped the soup on the floor!
My friend sat back down and I knew he could tell something was up on account of how odd I was being. Soon enough the manager came over and asked me if I poured my soup on the floor.
I insisted it was an accident and apologized. This busy-body fucko kept interrupting saying he saw me pour it on purpose. I insisted no, he's wrong, I spilled it by mistake. The manager didn't believe me but he couldn't prove shit. He sent somebody to clean the soup and I had to sit there as she did it.
Everything would have been fine if that bastard had not intervened in what wasn't his business.
I will not stop doing this, ever, but you can bet I will be extremely more careful now. | Harmlessly dumped soup on the floor so they wouldn't know I didn't finish it. Jackass told on me and it was humiliating. |
t3_2zyyno | Advice | Hello Reddit, I need advice on bettering my communication skills. Any tips are welcome. | Hello, Reddit
I am a college student, and have been noticing my troubled communication skills. I know this is a necessity to succeed in life so I need ways to help better my speak. Any resources or free ebooks or videos on praticing are welcomed.
A little background story on me. I was in Bilingual class in elementary school, and later graduated. I went through some bullshit, that led to me being under medication. I believe this medication slurred my speech a lot and notice myself stumbling on words more often. I spent a good year out of school practically wasting my life and health away. | I know this is a necessity to succeed in life so I need ways to help better my speak. Any resources or free ebooks or videos on praticing are welcomed. |
t3_hgk93 | AskReddit | My family will no longer financially support me. I'm too mentally unstable to enter the workforce. Now what? | I'm bipolar. It's severe enough to force me to drop out of school. My family doesn't believe in such mental conditions. This strain between us recently led to a legal chasm that has permanently damaged our relationship.
While they continue allow me to live rent-free, it's a temporary (though long-term) arrangement. They no longer provide me with funds for sustenance. My financial problems are compounded by debt collectors hounding me over a five figure amount I don't have.
I need to get out of here. No good will come of living in such an unsupportive environment. **The question is, what do I do instead?**
In lieu of current employment, I've learned that I may qualify for SSI. I've been seeking someone out to walk me through the application, but my doctors have been pessimistic ("you won't get approved for mental conditions") and my clinic's social workers silent.
I'm working on finding advocates elsewhere, but even if I manage to apply, any possible approval would take a while (perhaps years). I don't have years.
I don't know what other options I have. **I need help figuring out what resources are out there to aide me.** I need somewhere safe to go and some way to sustain myself while working on a full recovery.
**So Reddit, can you help me put my life back together? | I need resources to get me back on my feet since I'm medically unemployable and I've lost the only source of funds I had.* |
t3_2wwc4b | relationships | I [19F] made my boyfriend [33 M] of 2 years mad by pointing out facts. [Relationships] | Yesterday, my boyfriend was ranting about a guy that I have on my Facebook and used to hang out with. I was 17 and the friend was 24 when we would hang out (in groups).
My boyfriend was talking about how "creepy" it was that this guy would hang out with me when I was only 17 and he was 24 (we were only friends, nothing else).
I proceeded to tell him that he is forgetting that he started dating me when I was only 17, and he was 31. He then told me that I was putting him in the same category as my friend, a "creepy" guy, and was essentially calling him "creepy".
I tried to tell him that I was simply trying to say that neither of them were weird in my eyes, that I never saw age differences as a big deal with friends or relationships, and I was simply trying to keep him from being negative about a guy when he has done the same thing.
This was yesterday and we are still arguing about it. He says that I am sticking up for someone outside of our relationship, that I am choosing another guy over him, and that I must have "something" for this guy.
I don't know how to make him see that I was just trying to keep him from being hypocritical. Was that a bitch move? Should I have just agreed with him, that yes, this guy is a creep? | Boyfriend talking shit about guy who is friends with someone 7 years younger, when boyfriend is dating someone who is 14 years younger. Don't know who is wrong in the situation. |
t3_101r2g | relationship_advice | I [m22] made out with my co-worker [f20] while drunk and I don't want it to be awkward | Two nights ago I was drinking with my co-worker who is also a good friend of mine. We work in a dormitory so we live in the same building. We were drinking in my room and after a lot of drinks we started making out intensely for about 2 hours moving from my room to her room and eventually just sleeping in her room in her bed. Now that I am sober I feel confused as to how I am supposed to act as I have never done anything like this. We have been friends for about a year and get along very well. We have never flirted with each other or given hints of liking one another. So my question is, "How does one act with a co-worker after they have just had some sort of drunk hookup?" | – Made out with co-worker (both drunk) who has been a friend for a about a year and don't want it to be awkward. |
t3_13k3s6 | offmychest | I'm going on exchange for 6 months and I'm so scared, but everyone just tells me I'm overreacting. | I'm going on exchange through my university next semester and will be living in a foreign country for six months. I leave in less than two weeks.
My friends and family keep telling me how much fun I'll have, to stop stressing and that it isn't such a big deal. I know I'll have fun, I know it will be a great experience and most of me is really looking forward to it, but that doesn't stop me from freaking out. I don't speak the language, I'll be literally on the other side of the world from everyone that I am close to. I'm a massive introvert and not very social and just all of the running around trying to get things organized is taking it's toll on me, and I haven't even left yet.
I'm 20 and I love traveling and I've been living out of home for a while so it's not as if I'll be totally clueless. But I'm already trying to deal with my relationship falling apart and the subsequent heartbreak, and ongoing problems with mild depression/anxiety. I would seek professional help but there's not much I can do in the < 14 days that I'm here.
I've completely lost my appetite and have lost 6-7 pounds in the past few weeks, when I didn't really have any spare weight to lose to begin with. I keep bursting into tears unexpectedly and my sleep is starting to suffer. I know my reaction is over the top and I'm doing my best to pull myself together, but hearing everyone tell me that there is nothing to worry about just makes me feel even weaker. | Leaving to go on exchange overseas in < 14 days and I'm scared. Everyone keeps telling me I'll be fine but I'm an emotional wreck. |
t3_1gic65 | dating_advice | What should I [28/F] do when there is an overlap with guy [27/M] and his gf [31/F]? | So, recently discovered that my friend and I have feelings for each other. It started when we were on a night out and we began getting closer (PG style).
I guess we played with fire, when I wanted to a watch a movie and there was some flirting. We watched the movie in the office after work. We ended up holding hands, he said he liked me and we ended up kissing.
He said he wants to break up with his girlfriend. When they talked, she begged him to love her the way he did before (they've been together for less than 3 months) and said she was a great girlfriend... I knew she had cheated on him with another friend of mine. And my face winced and gave it away. So he now knows she slept with his friend two months ago.
He spent a couple of nights at mine but we didn't sleep together. Then yesterday whilst I was working a night shift he slept with her. I feel sick. He said he doesn't feel guilty when he is with me, but feels guilty with her. Said he was thinking of me when he was with her.
Should I forget him? I feel sad. I have to see him in the office all of today. Should I say something to him. I want to cry. I have no one to talk to about this. | Started to have feelings for someone with a girlfriend. Spent time with me, when I'm at work he sleeps with her. Says he was thinking of me. Feel sick. |
t3_30r7vl | relationships | My roommate [20/m] owes me [20/m] over $500 worth of utilities for the past 6 months. Help? | My roommate and I have been living together for about 8 months now. He eats the food I buy, he's generally late with his half of the rent, he doesn't pick up after himself and he owes me $547 worth of his half of the utilities for the last 6 months. I am at a loss with what to do.
When I told him in early January how much he owed me ($280 at this point) he questioned the number that I had given him even though it was correct. I thought that maybe to verify how much he much money he actually owed me, I printed out copies of all of the bills (We only receive them to my email (everything is set up in my name because I lived there first.)) still nothing.
Today I made a start I suppose by changing the internet password and removing my TV and Apple TV from the living room. I don't know what to do so I thought redditors could give me some advise. I want to help him but at the same time I cannot keep paying all of the bills when he is living there as well and is not in the least bit energy conscious. (Every time he leaves home he leaves every light on in the house.)
Sorry about the rant among the information but I had to give you all of the details. | Roommate is not paying his part of the utilities, I have tried many different ways of making him realize how much he owes me but to no avail. |
t3_2dqwpl | tifu | TIFU by jizzing in a shared hotel room. | I am currently on a music tour in Italy, sharing a room with four other men. Obviously not having had sex since the day before we left for the one week trip, tensions were running high, and my extremely horny girlfriend back home was sending me intimate messages, which was not helping in any way. By day four of the trip, I was climbing up the walls with sexual frustration, not having had a wank in all of this time (this is not a long time i know, but needs must). It was early on the morning on the fifth day, and I was the first person in the room up. I went to have a shower in our room bathroom and I took phone with me, and checked my messages. I had received some photos from my girl back home, which didn't leave much to the imagination, and I couldn't take it any longer: so I had a speedy wank in the shower. But after I had finished, I couldn't see where the 'produce' had gone due to the colour of the tiles, so I assumed it had been washed down the plug hole so I left it, with my conscience clear. A short 15 minutes later, one of my room mates opened the shower door after having just showered with a pained expression on his face. It turns out he was very tired and had decided to sit down in the shower, and had ended up sat in my sticky pile of sperm. He didn't realise, went to dry off, and wiped it onto his towel, which he then used to wipe his face, and smeared into his eye. My first reaction was to blame the poor innocent guy who sleeps in the bed next to me, who was still asleep, and said he had done it the night before. None of the room is talking to him, and he is still denying it to everyone. | Somebody sat on the floor in the shower and ended up wiping my spunk in their eye, blamed roommate, no regrets. |
t3_10kpoz | AskReddit | I live with two roommates who fuck each other. They have 4 dogs and a cat between them. I have a separate bathroom, but the cat shits in my shower and the dogs piss all over the bathroom floor. What do I do? | To be fair, we are all good friends. This isn't the typical "I fucking hate my roommates" cry for help. Although, laziness is definitely a factor. In the past, its taken over a week for one of them to take care of similar messes. I can deal with the living room and the kitchen cuz I'm barely ever here, but my bedroom and bathroom are not negotiable. I previously had a problem with the dogs in my room, but that ended when I threatened to piss on the corner of their bed if it happens to mine again.
Mine is the hallway bathroom, so it gets used by everyone. This also means that the bathroom door gets left open. As I said before, we DO in fact all get along, so doing something like putting a lock on my bathroom door wouldn't do much except maybe make me piss my pants one day when I can't find the key.
The female roommate says she will cut my dick off in my sleep if I take a shit in their shower, which in translation means it will probably spawn an argument or two. The male roommate (who's mom owns the house) could give a shit if it sat there as if it were just how the tile is supposed to look.
I'm lost Reddit. | How do I get my roommates to stop using my bathroom so their unruly dogs stop pissing all over my bathroom floor??? |
t3_22itww | relationships | My girlfriend (22f) of two years recently admitted to cheating on me (22m). I want to hurt her so she knows my pain. | She finally admitted to cheating on me. She slept over at another man's house, got drunk and although she doesn't remember exactly what happened, she is sure they had sex.
This isn't the first time she has slept over at another guys house, but last time there wasnt sexual contact (according to her and the guy).
I want to break up with her, but honestly I am terrified of that. I don't know if it is afraid to be alone or what. Before I break up with her however, I want to hurt her like she hurt me ( emotional, I don't want to physically hurt her). I want so bad to see her cry and I want her to feel like I did, worthless.
I know this isn't healthy and it sure as hell isn't the right thing or honorable thing, but I am struggling to not do it.
How do I just end it politely as possible, and not act on the will for revenge? I'm so pissed, upset, hurt and feeling worthless right now that I cannot even think clearly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated | live-in Girlfriend cheated, I want to get revenge and then break up for good. If I do, I'm just as bad as she is. Need advice on how to break up. |
t3_1tdgeb | dating_advice | When a girl says she is "unsure of her feelings" | So i just finished my first semester at college and for the whole duration of it, I've been talking to this one girl. We pretty much see each other everyday and hang out so we naturally became really close. I started to develop feelings for her early on and she found out when my friend facebooked me about it while we were looking on my laptop together. Even after knowing this, it wasn't really weird or anything and we always flirt, joke and touch(she mainly just hugs me or hits me) to the point that most people think we're dating.
Well i recently just developed the courage to ask her how she feels about me and she said "I like you but at the same time, i dont know." When i asked her why she doesnt know, she said" She's bad at determining her feelings towards guys and its not just me, she'll tell me how she really feels eventually." After this whole ordeal, i feel like its been a little weirder between us so i'm thinking about just giving her some space. I also found out from her that she still has a crush on this one guy that went to her old high school but he goes to a college several hours away.
What should I do in this situation? Is she conflicted? Should i give her some distance? Should i move on and stay friends? | I asked a girl if she likes me and she's unsure of her feelings but does like me, what do i do? |
t3_3vb25r | relationships | Am I obligated tell my [26m] girlfriend [26f] of 1 year that I grew up in a nudist family? | The other day there was this show on tv that had nudists, I was flipping through channels with my girlfriend and we had a quick laugh at it. I thought it was a good moment to bring up the subject, so I asked her what she thought of that. She said she thought they were kinda weird and she'd never understand it, but that's pretty much all she said. She sounded kinda disapproving, but more in a weird rather than gross way.
The thing is, I grew up in a nudist family; including me, my parents, and 3 sisters had this house in the country and we would participate with other nudist families. There were other kids my age, old people, middle aged people. Normally at the beach or at the park or wherever. Growing up, it wasn't anything abnormal for me although I realised at an early age most people aren't like that. I don't see nudity as always non-sexual, it just depends on the contest. I don't see a naked family at a nudist beach sexual at all, but for example when I see my girlfriend naked in the bedroom, that is sexual for me.
My parents are still nudists at home and I really don't have a problem with it. They wear robes or clothes when guests arrive though. Ever since moving out of home I'm no longer a nudist although I do like to lounge about in my underwear from time to time and my girlfriend has no problem with that.
Am I obligated to tell her about my family's nudism? I guess she'll find out eventually right? I grew up a nudist, and I'm not sure if that's a relevant part of my past that she should know, I don't want her to think I'm weird if she finds out later unexpectedly or anything. She hasn't met my parents yet, but she will soon, and they will be wearing clothes. | Grew up in a nudist family. Girlfriend doesn't know about that but might think its weird, should I tell her about my past? |
t3_3nffn0 | tifu | TIFU By Having A Systemic Reaction to Poison Ivy on My First Day of Work | Obligatory "this didn't happen today" statement.
Awhile ago, I had gotten a job at a major hospital in the mid-atlantic region of the country doing drug research. I moved to the city June 1st in anticipation of starting that day, but unfortunately, my employment was delayed two weeks. I took this time to explore parts of the city that I hadn't explored before, as I had lived there prior to this.
Admittedly, I have an interest and involvement with some of the writers in the city, so I was alone in the woods checking out some of their pieces on bridge supports next to a major highway. When I got there, I found that they had been covered entirely by overgrowth. Stupid me, I started tearing it all down, very liberally grabbing at all of the leaves and vines with not a care in the world.
After a bit, I went back home, showered and slept. I woke up in the middle of the night with some bumps on my body, which seemed odd, and thought they might have been bed bugs. The next morning, I woke up and my entire body was swollen and red. It just so happened that this was also my first day of work at the new job. I wasn't about to call in sick on my first day so I sucked it up and hoped that it didn't get any worse.
Of course, it got much much worse. My face had swollen to the point in which you couldn't really even tell it was swollen; I just looked like an elderly man, as a 23yr old, with crows feet and weirdly placed wrinkles. Eventually one of the doctors pulled me aside and asked me to take a prescription that she had written for me, go home early, stop at the pharmacy and just rest. As the title states, I had a systemic reaction, so even parts of my body that never touched the plant were swollen. My girlfriend came to visit that week and wound up just helping to take care of me. The major reaction lasted for about a week and the last of the swelling actually subsided on my arm about a full three weeks later. Naturally, I haven't learned my lesson and still explore through patches of poison ivy regularly. | I went places that I shouldn't have the day before my first day of work and woke up the next day swollen over my entire body. Tried to go to work that way, and got sent home. |
t3_2rg25f | GetMotivated | [Discussion] Need help to motivate my future BIL | Future brother in law is 32 years old and has very little motivation in life. He lives in his parents basement and has a dead end job making barely over minimum wage. He has some bad habits (drinking, smoking, and weed). He also does not have any formal education aside from a high school diploma over 10 years ago. He does not have a driver's license either, and not even a driver's permit.
Since I've known him I have offered to help him get a job with the companies I've worked for making more money than he is making now. He always makes excuses. He always talks about getting his learner's permit but never takes the test. When ever I bring it up he say's he will study for the test when he has time. But again, it is another excuse. In fact, I sent him a link to a website which has basically the same questions that would appear on the learner's permit exam, but he has not even opened the link.
His parent's have given up on him and basically do not even bother. He basically comes upstairs to eat dinner, and then goes back in the basement. His work is pretty cyclical too, so sometimes (like over the holidays) there will be periods of weeks where he does not work and is home all day doing nothing. His parents have offered to pay his schooling or a trade. His dad works for the city and could get him a decent paying union job pretty easily, but he has no motivation to apply.
His younger brother got married and moved out last year. Now his sister and I just got a place so I think he is getting even more depressed and less motivated. He came over to our place for the first time this weekend with his parents and he was pretty quiet the whole time.
He is a nice guy and I want him to do better for himself. His parents are nearing retirement age as well so I'd like for him to be more self sufficient. Any advice or thoughts? | 32 year old future BIL is very lazy. Bad job, no driver's permit, lives in parents basement. Keeps making excuses. How to help? |
t3_3row5v | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex-girlfriend [20 F] of 1 year, first relationship, questions to be answered | Basically, this is one of my first relationships I've had and she left me after 1 year. When she was breaking it off she was constantly saying sorry because she has no time as she says. This is genuine as I know she is very very busy plus the saying sorry was definitely genuine. She gave me the "lets still be friends" treatment as well.
When she started seeing me in her classes she was always smiling towards me like nothing happened.
So as being desperate as I was, after still talking and texting for around a week I asked if it was possible to get back together as I thought she might have regret it. She simply said that "Sure, ill think about it but I don't want you waiting for me" She then explained how she doesn't want any relationship because of the busy time etc.
Basically, should I wait for her to make a decision? She said herself that there's a chance, but I personally am skeptical if she just doesn't want to hurt me since she knows I have a bit of depression and anxiety. She might have just been nice, but the reasons for breaking it off can be fixed so I was wondering if I could come back together.
Opinions? Is it just her being nice? Or is she genuinely thinking about it | Girlfriend 1 year broke up with me for she has no time, might want to get back together, but it might just be trying to be nice |
t3_1e0bzo | relationships | Does she [20F] need some time? | Met a girl [20F] through a group of friends. She was with someone for two months. It wasn't a good one but they were connected [he wasn't a good guy, no morals]. She broke up with him a couple weeks ago and I [22M] made my move to get closer to her (I know, too soon. My mistake). She told me she had a crush on me when she first met me but didn't pursue anything because I didn't express any interest (I was, just didn't show it out of respect for her then-current relationship).
Anyways, we started hanging out and talking more in the past week or so. There was a lot of chemistry. I like her and I think she likes me.
She asked me to hang out with another couple (both our friends, we each have a personal friendship with each other). I don't think it was a double date. More of a hang out/feel out. I knew she was a bit too excited when she asked cause the other day she had just ranted about how her ex had embarrassed her greatly (not first time) when with her friends and sister at the mall.
**Ever since she asked to hang out, she's been ignoring me. It's been three days. I texted "Whatsup?" yesterday but got no reply.**
What gives?
Is she having trouble deciding where her heart lays? Does she need some time to completely let go of her ex because if wants to be with me she knows she can't have second thoughts?
I want to give her space to sort out her feelings and thoughts. I don't want to force her into anything. I want her to be truly happy. I'm ready to move on if she isn't. Sucks but that's life. | Met a girl. Have mutual feelings. Lingering feelings for an ex is confusing her. What do I do? How long do I wait? |
t3_1e1xot | relationships | I [18M] had a huge fight with my gf [19F] about sex. | Sorry for the wall of text, my thoughts are all over the place but I'll try to make this as easy to follow as possible.
My girlfriend [19F] and I [18M] have been dating for a little over 9 months and we still haven't had sex yet. We talk about it frequently and we've tried a couple times but we've never actually done it because she says it hurts too much (she also suffers from endometriosis which apparently worsens it). However, this doesn't bother me for the time being as we are regularly intimate in other ways.
The topic came up again today and instead of her regular replies where she plays along with the idea, she suddenly started saying how she may plan on never having sex again since it hurts too much. Now like I said before, the fact that we haven't had sex yet isn't an issue for me and wouldn't be an issue in the near future, but she kept insisting that she doesn't want to do it ever again (side note: I am a virgin, she isn't). It upset me that she was saying that because I felt like she didn't even want to put effort into trying and was making excuses by saying it hurt too much then switching to she can't because of her endometriosis. A large argument ensued when I let her know I was upset since she was saying how I don't understand her condition.
She then started saying how we should break up since she can't make me happy and whatnot. We have a great relationship otherwise and get along amazingly well, so I let her know I have no intentions of breaking up with her because of this problem since our relationship doesn't revolve around sex. I told her that we should stay together since it isn't a big issue for the time being and that we'll tackle that obstacle when necessary.
I guess I just really need a neutral opinion on this and any steps we could take to get over it. Will staying together for the time being until the issue comes up again yield any benefits for us? | Girlfriend says she never plans on having sex, currently isn't an issue with me but will be in the future. She says we should break up because of it. |
t3_3ybdgt | relationships | [20M] in a 3 year relationship with [21F], worried about a breakup tomorrow | I've been in a stable relationship with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years now, and always thought we'd weather any storm that came at us. The first year of our relationship was long-distance and we managed that fine, but now we're doing long distance again due to me studying abroad and it feels like somethings gone wrong.
I came home for Christmas and everything seemed fine, I took her somewhere really nice for her christmas present, somewhere we've both wanted to go for ages, and we had a fantastic time. Then, a few days later, she comes over and is cold, quiet and unresponsive, and I noticed that she didn't say "I love you" back when we parted. We normally text pretty often, and thought that we'd chat a lot over Christmas but she's barely spoken to me since the 22nd Dec, only to say that she wants to meet up and 'have a chat' tomorrow.
I know that I'm comparitively young, but I genuinely thought I was going to marry her one day. I might have been blind to it but I thought everything was fine, but it seems not. I'm meeting her tomorrow at her request and I'm fairly certain she's going to break up with me. I'm confused as to why she feels like this, but it may have been a long time coming on her end.
I'll be honest, I'm desperate to stay with her, so has anyone got any advice on how to handle tomorrow? I'm ready to ask lots of questions and find out why she feels the way she does, but has anyone else been in a situation like this? How did it end up? | Gf of 3 years is about to break up with me out of the blue, how should I handle our last meeting tomorrow? |
t3_238gy7 | relationships | Me [21 M] and my friend [21 F] are dating and want to tell our mutual friends. | It's been going on for a couple weeks now and I don't think any of our group of good friends knows, we act like we did before dating when around them (it's been kind of fun sneaking a kiss quickly when something distracting happens and no one's looking at us). We're not sure how they'll react to the news, but she wants to let them know soon. We're both the quiet/awkward members of the group.
The idea right now is it would go over better if we let them know in an amusing or surprising way, but all we have so far is either have a "slip" when one of us leaves (we hang out with these people a lot) and kiss each other goodbye nonchalantly, or to kiss when only one person can see us and watch them freak out a bit while pretending like nothing happened.
I know both are cheesy/corny that's why I'm asking for help. | How do we tell our friends we're dating in an awesome and funny way? We have 2 ideas but they don't feel quite right. |
t3_2ciye3 | relationships | Should I (30's F) confront couple (30's M and F) about giving out my home phone number as theirs to bill collectors?F | For the past 2 yrs of having my home number, I have gotten collection calls for Mr. and Mrs. 'Smith'. I always tell the collection agency that Mr. and Mrs. Smith don't have this number anymore.
I recently in a moment of frustration, vented on FB (not my best moment, but we all need to vent) and named the people. A few days later I see a comment on a status of an acquaintance and it matches one of the names I am getting calls for. So I go and check out her page and see that her husbands name matches the other name that I am getting collection calls for. The cherry on top is they have a child, and the last call I received was for 'the parents of blank smith'. So I feel very confident that I have found the family giving out my number to their bill collectors. So, should I message them asking for them to stop giving my number or just let it be.. | keep getting collection calls for a couple. I've recently figured out who this couple is and wonder if I should message the couple and ask them to update their info so I am not receiving their collection calls |
t3_3f9zwt | relationships | My girlfriend [24/F] makes me [25/M] buy food for her brothers | The place I work is near my girlfriend's home. During lunch time, sometimes I buy lunch for her and I to eat at her house. What's annoying is when she asks me "can you buy for my brothers (she has 2) as well?" I end up saying okay cause if I don't, it feels weird eating in front of them with my girlfriend cause they usually have to find food in the house to eat. (Their family owns a restaurant and because of that they rarely have food in their house. Their reason was they live so close to the restaurant they can just ask for food and their father can just cook and bring to them. Also their father has OCD cause cooking will cause a "smell" in the house.) So I'm like okay great, my 7$ lunch became a almost 30$ lunch everyday. I try to bring food from home so I don't have to buy however there are days when I just like to eat out. I feel the only solution is just to find food or eat without her and tell her I already ate. I guess I feel annoyed because I feel like I'm feeding her family when it's not my responsibility | Buy lunch for myself and girlfriend, end up buying lunch for her and her brothers; my 7$ lunch becomes a 21-30$ lunch now |
t3_3yyo79 | relationships | Me [32 M] with my Wife [31F] Married 5 years together 10+ - no kids, she was already pursuing divorce, just found out she's cheating. | I'm completely broken at this moment.
My wife shocked me two months ago when she said we needed to see a marriage counselor. It was totally out of the blue, things, on the surface, seemed to be going fine. I agreed to go as I love(d) her and wanted to strengthen our relationship.
After a month of counselling it was obvious she was checked out. She said she didn't know what she wanted and needed to work on herself, etc etc. She told me it would not work between us and that she wanted a divorce. I was/am absolutely crushed. She never even gave it a shot and I didn't understand.
I'm not proud, but when this all began I found a notebook which she used as a journal of sorts. I've never ever been the guy to go through her phone/email/anything. I was 100% trusting and wasn't even looking for the notebook when I came across it. I tried to search for answers about what was missing, what I could do, but didn't come up with much.... Until today.
There were entries not only about the sex she had had with "him", but about how experienced he was, how great it was, etc. Then it went on to detail how he is everything she always wanted including mentioning his good friends/family/job, etc?? So clearly this has been going on for some time. The part that really got me was HE HAS ALREADY ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM???? What the fuck???? | Wife has been pushing for divorce (out of the blue) for two months. Discovered today she has been cheating on me (probably for some time). |
t3_1qd2tq | relationships | I (21/m) want to ask the trainer at my new job (19/f) out but missed my first chance. | Over the last week i got a new job and had to start training for it(obviously). When i showed up for my first day of training i met my trainer and instantly had what i call a "middle school crush" on her, being that i felt i liked her without really knowing much about her. Immediately i wanted to ask her out especially knowing that i only had till the end of the week then i would lose contact with her (i work at a different store than i trained at). After talking to her a bit in our small amount of free time i felt we may have a connection because we flirted quite a bit.
I decided i wanted to ask her after the training had been completed because i felt it was more professional, which was important to me since it was a new job. I was just going to ask her out to something simple like coffee but when the day came we got really busy in the store, and at the end of the day the manager wanted to go over a few things before i got sent to the other store. While i was talking to the manager my trainer's shift ended and she left, thus leaving me without a chance to ask her out.
I know i messed up by not just doing it sooner, but my question now is how can i still ask her out. I had gotten her phone number so she could send me my training schedule, and had considered just texting her about meeting up for coffee but im not sure if that's to impersonal. What do you guys/girls think i should do? | Missed opportunity to ask cute trainer out, my only form of contact now is phone, can i still ask her out for coffee? |
t3_1pbzzu | relationship_advice | [X-post from r/relationships] I'm single for the first time in 6 years. I don't know how to go on a date and be normal. Story inside. | In my junior year at college I met a girl; yadda yadda yadda, 6 years later we break up after getting engaged last year.
Now I'm over the break up, but a few days ago I go to my good friend's family dinner, where she's invited me along with one other friend. Friend and I hit it off. Back then I was 19 I had a 3 week relationship with my friend who invited me to dinner, but we never talk about it, it's over, she's dating a new guy for the last 3 years or whatever. I think she still likes me but that's not relevant.
I go on a date with the girl I hit it off with at family dinner. We go to an art walk, and we hook up at the end after we split two different pitchers of beer, and it's a bit awkward. I'm clearly overthinking EVERYTHING. Now, I'm dying to call her now, but I feel like I shouldn't; she was incredibly weird and sort of curt with me even after we hooked up. She also told me to "ring her" (her words), and though i want to see her like today, I know that would seem clingy.
Basically, I haven't gone on a date for the better part of a decade. I HAVE NO CLUE how to proceed, what to do, or anything. All of my instincts say "go ahead and communicate as much as you'd like" because for 6 fucking years I was in a very intimate relationship where it obviously wasn't weird to talk or text all day with many calls. I have no idea how not to smother someone, how not to say I love you left and right all the time. Basically, how do I go on and try to date this person? | I have no idea how to date anyone or have a normal relationship with a member of the opposite sex because I'm used to being engaged with someone who I was seeing forever. Reddit, how can I be normal? |
t3_1dwnqo | AskReddit | Can a homeowners association fine homes who don't participate in a "maintenance day"? | My wife and I have lived in our home since 2004. The Homeowners Association collects payments every year from each homeowner, which for those who know, is supposed to go towards upkeep, maintenance, electric..etc. Last fall everyone received an email from the association requiring each homeowner to participate in a weekend of maintaining the very small park and retention pond in our development. Those homes that didn't have a "valid excuse" would be fined $35 by the homeowners association.
Turned out that I had to work that weekend anyway, plus my wife was 8 mos pregnant at the time so we could not participate. I can say I wouldn't have participated anyway due to the fact we pay dues to take care of this sort of thing. There was no vote, no asking of homeowners, etc.
Today we received a letter in the mail saying we owe $35. Some are pissed as we are. We can't afford an attorney, so was hoping you great people of reddit can tell me if their tactic is legal?
Thank you very much! | We pay homeowner association dues yearly. Was told every home in our community would be fined $35 if we didnt participate in a "maintenance day". Is this legal? |
t3_2nx4ls | relationships | My [30F] husband [34M] is unwilling to have our newborns last name be my name. | I just had a child, a few weeks ago, with my husband of 4 years. When we got married, I told my husband that I wanted to keep my last name, and he said that was more than fine with him. I know that he enjoys the traditional aspect of families and he probably deep down would have been happier if I took his name. I brought it up to him and asked him if he was upset that I wasn't taking his name, and he said that its really not important to him what my last name be, and that he's happy with leaving that decision completely to me. Note this was all four years ago.
So we just had a child, and a month or two before my due date, I brought it up to him that I wanted the child to have my last name. He said that he wants to upkeep that tradition of the child taking the fathers last name, gave a couple other reasons and said no. I dropped it and didn't bring it up again.
Our daughter was born 4 weeks ago, and now Im not satisfied with the decision we made. I think its sexist and illogical for the kid to take the dads last name just as default. I harbored our child for nine months in my body, and I don't even get to bear my name to our child?
It's not sitting well with me, and I want to bring it up again but I don't know how. I don't want to turn it into a big fight or anything.
Any advice? Has anyone been in this position before?
Also our names are too long to hyphenate. It'd be a 30+ letter last name. | I agreed that our daughters last name would be my husbands name, not mine and now I regret it. What do I do? |
t3_ahz2s | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, I'm a decade-long illegal immigrant seeking advice. | I'm a long-time lurker, and this is my first post. Here's my story: I was born in Taiwan and legally came to California on a visitor visa with my family when I was only 3. While we were here, my parents decided to raise me in the US because they believed there were more opportunities for me, in terms of school and work. I began taking classes in a public school when I was 5. Sometime during elementary school, the visa was on the brink of expiring, so I was sent to Mexico to register for a student visa.
Once I returned, everything was fine and dandy until a few years later when some legislation passed (I don't remember exactly what year it was) that forced my student visa to black out unless I attended a private school. My parents didn't have enough money to send me to one, so they kept me in a public school and decided that I can return to Taiwan when I graduate high school. This is when I officially became an illegal immigrant.
Fast forward to Sophomore year of high school, when I asked my parents about going abroad for a high school trip. I was shocked to find out I was an illegal immigrant. I was very naïve back then, so I didn't think much of it. Luckily for me, the AB 540 law was available for me to continue to college. I am now a 22 year old college graduate, unable to get a job, and unable to get a driver's license.
I now have a tough decision to make. I can (1) return to a country where I can barely communicate with anyone who has greater than a kindergarten level vocabulary, (2) marry a US citizen and naturalize, or (3) hope for the Dream Act to pass. I want to stay in the US, but I feel like I'm wasting my time here if (2) or (3) doesn't happen within the next few years. Do I have any other options? I'd like to find a pro bono lawyer to give me advice if at all possible, but I don't know where I can find one. Hence, I'm asking Reddit. | Legally immigrated to Cali; became illegal b/c visa blacked out. Now 22 y/o. What options do I have? My "native" language sucks balls. |
t3_2poq0g | relationships | Three years and multiple partners later I [20M] still can't forget my first ex. | So as you probably guessed we met in high school and things lasted for quite a while. It was awesome, it was terrible, it got ugly at times. I don't dwell on it, but you can kind of get the gist of it. We were each others' first everything and she was the first girl I ever thought I truly loved.
We broke things off when I went to college and basically things didn't end well and we aren't on speaking terms anymore. Despite it being my first and a very long relationship I finally got over it, stopped thinking about her regularly, went on with my life, dated other people and have felt fairly invested although not to the extent I felt with her.
And yet I still have dreams about her from time to time, I'll wonder how she's doing, but I haven't checked on her social media in years. The fact that this is happening when I thought I had closed that chapter of my life is daunting.
My concern now is that I will never completely get over her. That something inside me will always love her and that worries me. Is this normal? Is it unhealthy for future relationships or even unfair to anyone I enter a serious relationship with? It's also rather embarrassing to admit this to my friends even though I know they'd take me seriously, so I'm asking you guys. I've lurked on here for a while now and could use at least one person's help. Thanks (: | Been 3 years since broken up with first ex. Worried about what it means when I still think of her/miss her. |
t3_32v4v1 | tifu | TIFU by trying to patch up my own pores | So this happened earlier this week on supposedly the hottest days of the year so far.
I'm not the best person at dealing with the summery weathers while wearing my black uniform to make things even worse and I sweat, a lot. Usually my black jumper will be able to conceal but it was far to hot for me to wear the jumper and I started to sweat through my jumper and became a damp prepubescent mess. I survived the next day and realised that the jumper would have to go for the next day and I would need something else to hide behind. I wake up, put on a new shirt and line the armpits with tissue paper in a desperate attempt, the plan was to go to the toilet at break and switch the tissue out, re-apply deodorant and repeat until the weather goes back to rainy and dull.
I make it until second period until the tissue barriers scrunch up and slide down my arm leaving two tumors bulging out of my shirt which I did not notice until the kid sat across from me asked what was wrong with my arms and proceeds to prod my newly found muscles. Thinking he knows what actually happened and that I stuffed my shirt to make myself look stronger and appealing he begins to loudly take the piss and accusing me of stuffing my shirt in front of the whole class. | Thought I'd come up with a clever plan to become more socially exceptionable resulted in the opposite and gaining "spiderdan" as a new nickname. |
t3_et7ug | relationships | Moved to a new city and left a girl, now I don't know what to do... | For starters (throw away) I'm 23 and she's 21 and it was a year and half relationship. Both of us where very happy and thoroughly enjoyed each others company.
I was recently picked up for a great career building job but it was over 600 miles away from where I was currently living. This included me leaving all of my friends, family, and of course my ex. After some discussion my ex and I decided that it would be best for a split because of the uncertainty with long distance relationships and we both wouldn't have the funds to make regular trips out to see each other.
We recently went on a trip with some mutual friends and it was incredibly awkward. Up until this point she had been treating the after math very crudely, by that I mean some days she would acknowledge her feelings and other days she would be strictly platonic. Though we had both agreed to be friends, she was taking this to the extreme and essentially avoided the entire situation and me during the trip until I confronted her. After some much needed discussion we decided it would be best that after the trip that we kept contact to an absolute bear minimum for both of our sakes.
I've tried online dating and other things in order to kinda start moving forward. I've been on a few and tried my luck with other women but nothing substantial has come up. I still find myself wanting to talk to her and try and be close to her. This may be due to the fact that my relationship with my ex has been the best yet.
Is there anything else I can do in order get over this overwhelming compulsion to want to still be close to her? Am I acting selfish because I thought it was such a great relationship? | Moved to another state for a great job but can't stop thinking about my ex. Is there anything I can do to moved forward? |
t3_115i92 | AskReddit | Reddit, is this a needed crackdown in schools? | Recently, I heard that my brother (although being very dumb on his part) was suspended for cell phone usage (texting) in school, this wasnt during a test or anything but just throughout the day. He's a freshman in high school and when his teacher found out she sent him to the principal who gave him the choice that the school will keep his phone for a week or he will get a two day suspension, I find this preposterous but I've been through something similar when I was a junior in high school 3 years ago I was wearing my hat in school on my way out the door and one of the administrators took it and told me I could get it back at the end of the year, this was before winter break. I'm not sure whether things like these are necessary, back when I was in high school if you got caught on your phone you received a verbal warning then your parents had to come get your phone from the office later that day, but in modern times is this really necessary to keep a childs phone for a week? | Father told me my brother was given the choice to have the school keep his phone for a week, or receive a two day suspension, used during learning ( not testing or anything), nostalgia, is this kind of crackdown necessary? |
t3_4p17i8 | Cooking | Substitute for a dutch oven | I'm moving to a new kitchen that has an electric ceramic glass surface. I'm looking for a substitute for my Lodge cast iron DO, which I use with my current gas range.
I have a variety of reasons for not choosing cast iron, not even ceramic-coated cast iron. The post rests on my gas burners are metal and ceramic-coated, and they're chipped all over. I'm not going to put cast iron on my glass cook top and scratch and chip it, since that is expensive to replace. Even if I promise myself not to put the cast iron on the stove top, I know somewhere along the line I'll slip up and drop the DO on it. | I'm _not_ going to use any form of cast iron dutch oven on or in the ceramic-topped stove. |
t3_3a1z6y | relationships | I [21 M] just found out my girlfriend [20 F] had sex with a mutual coworker/ friend [21 M] before we were together | Today I found out my girlfriend of 3 months slept with a mutual friend and mutual co worker of ours earlier this year before the two of us started talking. I'm not sure why but this really bothers me. Perhaps it's because the two of them still talk at work, which never bothered me before because I figured they were nothing more than friends. Even though he's good looking and they share jokes.
She said it wasnt really "mutual" and she just lied there because she wasn't really turned on, but went with it because she had been feeling insecure. I asked if she meant that he had raped her and she said no.
The other reason it bothers me is because in a previous conversation about our sex "numbers" I asked if she had ever slept with a co-worker before and she said no.
Am I wrong to be feeling so upset over this ? Is this worth breaking up over? I tend to be a bit on the jealous side but I try to tone it down very low, im just not sure how work is going to feel now. Trust is very important to me so I am glad she told me though. She says she's ashamed she slept with him at all, and really hopes this dosent change anything between us. Not sure how I feel or what to do now. I should also mention that I'll be headed to uni 2 hours away in August and she knows this. How do I handle this ? I know it's not technically cheating because it happened before we were together. Are my feeling justified? | My gf of 3months lied at first and later told me she had sex with a mutual friend/co-worker early this year before we started talking/ getting to know each other. |
t3_4qu8sx | tifu | TIFU by paying $6.66 at a store | So I do have to preface this by saying this wasn't today, but on 4th of July about 5 years ago.
A friend of mine asked me to go to her brother's house for a 4th of July party, and I agreed to go.
Before we got to his house, we stopped at a convenience store so each can pick up snacks and a chaser. I get to the register, and one of the girls asks if she can just add on a candy bar to mine, so I say sure, why not.
The cashier gives me my total, and it comes out to be $6.66. Now, I'm not superstitious or anything like that but I made a joke like "Uh-oh. That's sure to be a bad sign" and proceeded to LOL.
We get to the house, start pouring some drinks, and then some of the girls grab sparklers! Who doesn't love to play with sparklers! Well, we each grab one in each hand, everybody else's lights up just fine, mine go crazy, I freak out and drop them on my bare foot. Then I decide to try again, and again the ones I had went crazy and this time a strand of my hair got caught in one and burned off.
But that's not even the worst that happened. After the sparkler fiasco, the guys decide they want to go outside and light some fireworks. Everything is fine and dandy until I hear my friends brother say "Huh. I have no idea what this one is or what it does?" And proceeds to light it up.
That damn thing ricocheted off the floor, into the air and into my face. It hit me just an inch below my right eye. I thought I went blind (and deaf due to ringing in my ear) and start freaking out. No one even notices that it hit me, they were just trying to figure out what happened since it happened in just a split second.
My sight returned after 20 minutes and I was left with a burn right below my eye. I don't go outside anymore when people light fireworks. No thank you! | Total at convenience store was $6.66, joked about it being a bad sign, caught hair on fire and nearly blew my eye out with a firework on 4th of July. |
t3_2zkcbw | relationships | My(18M) GF (18F) is confused about our relationship. | Okay first off. Some back story.
In my freshman year of high school I started to like a girl.
In my sophomore year I realized how much she meant to me and how much I loved her.
Later that summer ('13) I told her how I felt.
She began to ignore me for a few months since she already hated me because of how annoying I can be.
Last December ('14) (my senior year) I finally got her to return the feelings. This have been going well, we've got tons in common and we think very alike I enjoy her company and I'd like to think she enjoys mine. I got my first kiss, and we sometimes make out and cuddle when she we are in a more private setting.
We've talked about how she feels about me. She is constantly rejection any display of affection on my part I can't even hug her for too long without her getting mad. When I ask her about how she feels about me she says she doesn't know. She thinks that a life with me would be nice (I treat her well and I think I'm prepared for my future.)
I don't know what to do.
Should I leave (dump/take a break from) her and let her decide what she wants.
Should I terminate the relationship?
Should I keep "fighting* for her despite her doubt?
Please /r/Relationships lend me your wisdom
Ask any questions on any doubts you may have since I haven't been too clear. | the love of my life (gf 1month) (love interest 3.6 years) has doubts about our relationship and I don't know how I feel about that or what I should do. Please help. |
t3_3bx081 | relationships | Me [26F] with my BF [29 M] living together, sexual relationship.. Family won't approve. Update Part 3 | Here is the previous post.
Sorry, it has been a while since I updated.
I was just letting things settle.
Basically family will be visiting here soon.
I am set to move into a short term house rental.
However they know basically everything, but
the intimate details.
Really what they want is for me to go back to india and re marry there.
I don't want that, and if it leaks what I have
done, I can get into some serious trouble.
The thing that is upsetting me somewhat is,
I think they are trying to get my sister inlaw to
get me to divulge more info.
I am trying to be more cautious with her,
but her questions or getting direct.
As for the boob job, I can find a way to wear loose clothes. If they notice, then it is what it is.
I plan on introducing him to the family, and don't expect that to go great, but it needs to be done.
It's a hard thing to deal with, especially since they
expect me to be a conservative young woman, and we are not supposed to be sex crazy, etc.. | Living with BF, family is royally pissed off, things won't change much. But I will try to reduce the drama by moving into a rental house while they visit. |
t3_4src0f | relationships | I'm [21F] debating on what to do about my, "sperm donor"... [21M] | So, my daughter who just turned 6 months old is the love of my life. I've been raising her on my own since she was born. Because her father, who I really dont think deserves that title, hint the "sperm donor"... has been in and out. He has never been consistent in her life. She lives with me full time, and always has. He doesn't pay child support, he doesn't pay for anything.
I haven't heard from him in over a week. I tried being the bigger person and asked him if he wanted to go to her 6 month check up, and no reply. After I got out of the doctors, i sent a message asking if he wanted to see how it went, and I then realized he blocked me. I always try to be nice to him and set aside our relationship because we're parents. But, it seems he never wanted to do that. I have sole custody of her already.. But should I file for child support? I can barely make it by anymore. Should I file for full custody? I didn't want it to end up like this, but I really don't want her growing up knowing who he is, and then him just constantly leaving. That's not good for her, and I'm just trying to do whats best for her. Please help. | Father of my child went MIA, blocked me on everything, should I file for child support and/or full custody? |
t3_5562pk | relationships | Do I (23/F) have to invite all of my coworkers (18-23/M&Fs) to my birthday party? | I'm working a part time college campus job, and all my coworkers (all 6 of them) are students. We have a causal work environment and we all seem to get along very well.
I am closer to some coworkers more than others. But by closer I just mean I talk to them more and click with them better, but I haven't gone to lunch or hung outside of work with them. I would like to though, that's why I thought inviting them to my birthday party would be a good first step at furthering those friendships. But do I have to invite all my coworkers? I don't think they would go anyway, but I think they might be upset I didn't invite them if they found out.
I should mention my birthday plans involve going to a pub then back to my house to unwind. Some coworkers are young and may not even want to/be able to get into a pub. They also may feel weird if they come back to my place later and find my other friends smoking (I'm not sure how they feel about that). Is that singing I needto give a heads up about?
Should I not invite them? Should I invite them all? Should I outline in the invite message people may be smoking? I'm sorry these sound like silly over thinking questions, this is the first time I'm trying to expand my social circle. | Do I need to invite all my coworkers to my birthday party? I'm not sure if they'd even be comfortable going. |
t3_4eivw3 | dogs | [Help] Looking for advice to help my blind dog cope | About four years ago I rescued a 7 year old Boston Terrier. Aside from a food allergy and some separation issues we've since worked through, he was pretty happy. About two years ago I noticed some clouding in one eye, then the other. It didn't bother him, so the vet said to let it be. About 2 years ago, though, the cataracts started to quickly diminish his vision. Over the last couple months, he's become 100% blind, no longer even able to discern shadows.
Because of his age (he's 11, average BT lifespan is 13), the vet doesn't recommend surgery. He's at increased risk of complications and he'd basically spend the last chapter of his life under strict care to recuperate. I'm fine with this, because he's adapted very well, since the blindness came on gradually. He's still good a killer sense of smell and remembers pretty well where things are so he can get around OK as long as I keep things in the same place.
The problem, though, is that I'm moving to a new house in the coming months. Because he relies heavily on his memory to get around, I know he's going to struggle to get around after the move. Furthermore, his breed leaves his eyes susceptible to damage from sharp corners.
I'm wondering if anyone can recommend anything to help me ease his transition. I've seen some "halo" contraptions that help dogs bounce away from obstacles, but he's not very happy having things around his head so I'm worried he won't do well with one. Is there some kind of training I can try, or scent marking I can do so I he can avoid certain areas? I don't want to keep him cooped up in one small area of the house because he does well roaming free, but being stuck in one spot sends his separation anxiety into overdrive and he'll likely hurt himself more trying to get out. (Trust me. I've had to replace at least 5 chewed doors and give up on metal crates over a two year span). | I need suggestions to help my blind dog who gets around by memory to adapt safely to our new house when we move. |
t3_2m6e3h | relationships | My [23F] Ex [24M] wants to check up on me once in a while 8 months after we broke up | Hey everyone,
This is something I was just hoping to get a bit more insight on. After we broke up, I really had no interest in hearing from him again and moved on relatively quickly. A few months ago, he texted me with a picture of us with a message along the lines of "Hope you're doing well I miss you a lot" which I obviously ignored hoping he would get the message that I don't want contact. Then a few days ago, I got another message from him saying he hoped I was doing well. I asked him why he continued to contact me and he replied saying that even though we ended badly, he still cared about me as a person and wanted to check how I was doing. I stated this time firmly that I didn't want contact hoping he would get the message loud and clear. His response: "I understand, it would be great if I could reach out once in a while to see how you're doing though. Outside of strictly seeing how you're doing, I have no ulterior intentions and currently have a girlfriend." Honestly, I find this response rather shady and don't think it makes much sense that he would continue to check up on me despite claiming he has a girlfriend.
What do you guys think of the situation? Also, did I handle the situation properly? When I asked my coworker for advice (who I discuss personal details with quite frequently), she advised for me to just ignore him because communicating him would give him false hope. However, I figured it'd be best for me to directly tell him I didn't want contact instead of ignoring and having him contact me again within another month or two. | Ex continues to contact me every few months to check up and I don't like it. Wanted advice on what his response my reveal. |
t3_34zo4w | AskDocs | Possible Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but confusing symptoms | I helped my girlfriend move in a couple weeks ago and after that, I would get occasional jolts of a tingling sensation when moving my arm. The sensation would go from the elbow up to the outer side of my pinky. But up until yesterday, it was so barely noticeable that I thought i might even be imagining it.
But yesterday, I started noticing a strange sensation that would move around all over my hand when my elbow is bent for am extended time (using a calculator, texting etc.) so I did some research.
CTS supposedly only affects the pinky and half of the ring finger, but sometimes the sensation is in my thumb and index, and earlier the tip of my index almost went numb.
Also, CTS is supposed to cause elbow pain, but I'm not experiencing pain anywhere at all. Just a scary tingling that can't seem to pick a spot.
Also, I'd like to avoid the doctor at all costs, so if no one can solve the mystery, I have **one question:** is there a safe time period that I can "wait it out" to see if it resolves itself, or am I at high risk of nerve damage soon? | Possible Cubital Tunnel, possible Carpel Tunnel, who knows, but I'm a bartender and I play piano recreationally so I use and elbows and wrists a lot. |
t3_e8gex | relationship_advice | In poly relationship, learned months after the fact that my bf cheated. I am devastate and hurt but i still want to make this work. Please advise. | Me: 30. Him: 29.
Length of relationship: over 4 months.
We are pretty much madly in love and highly compatible. I have been in many poly relationships before with great success as far as relationship related communication goes. He has never been in a poly relationship. I told him it was of course fine for him to chase other girls... however, I made it clear that I wanted our relationship based on trust and communication... i expect date situations to be told in advance, as well as who he's chasing, and if a random unexpected hookup occurs, i expect to be told at a reasonable time afterwards. this is a two way street and i made it clear i would be equally open.
so: months ago he hard core made out with a girl (possibly more) and did not tell me. i heard about it from my ex, who was there, and when i asked him about it he admitted it, calling it a mistake. he also had her spend the night at my house a week later -- informing me of that last night. he also went on a date with a girl (completely planned) and when he told me about hanging out with her, it tried to make it sound like not a date at all (but he was sidestepping questions in an awkward and obvious manner). he eventually told me it was a date and that he was pursuing her.
he is sorry he hurt me, but he thinks my level of sadness is an overreaction and that my other feelings about it are an overreaction. i asked him if he's ever cheated before, he said no. (he finally admitted that the stuff with girl 1 was cheating.) i simply told him that he could not possibly know what i felt.
he claims to love me like he's loved no one else. he is in general kind and caring and i love him for a variety of reasons. even now i love him. i'm not sure what my question is exactly, just advice, experiences, your take, etc. | in poly relationship, boyfriend both cheated twice and was deceitful another time. seems remorseful but not incredibly so. this is the first time someone has cheated on me. |
t3_3tja7y | relationships | I'm [23 M] interested in a friend [20 F] from class and need some advice | Apologies about the title, it's vague, but I couldn't get so specific with it.
Basically I started talking with one of the girls from my class on facebook and we really hit it off, talking everyday, super long conversations, and they never end. That was about a month ago and now we still talk everyday, but a lot of it is lovey dovey cutesy stuff, she has an amazing personality and suits me to a T. The only issue I have is I'm not sure I find her attractive. She's overweight, though that doesn't bother me at all, I like her body, I'm just unsure of her face (I'm sorry if that sounds bad). There are times I find her beautiful or cute and other times I'm just iffy about it. I don't really know how to proceed at this point. | Guy really likes girl in class, she has amazing personality, he finds her attractive sometimes, is unsure what to do. |
t3_422gqf | relationships | How often should I [25 m] talk to a close online friend with [29] major depression? | My close online friend (like, we used to talk for 8+ hours a night, every night close) is going through a major depressive episode, and has barely been able to talk to me.
I try to talk to them every other day or so - usually sending links to music I think they'll like, stuff they might find funny, etc - but sometimes to ask if they're OK, let them know I'm there and I believe in them, they're going to make it, etc.
The few times they've responded have been mixed. One day, they'll be fairly nice and receptive, the next time apologetic, the next time rude and hostile. But lately, it's mostly been one word answers, and getting an answer at all is becoming less and less frequent.
The last thing I heard, 4 days ago, was that they're a mess and have been having anxiety attacks. Tried saying I'm here if they want to talk about it, but nothing since then.
Last "check in," I asked if it helps when I talk to them like that, or if I should just leave them alone while they're going through this. Still nothing.
Our chat logs have started to become 90% me talking at them. It makes me feel like I'm being an obsessive creep, tbh, and if this was a neurotypical person, I'd just drop contact with them.
However, my therapist tells me this is fine, and that I'm doing a good job being supportive and being there. I've also been doing a lot of research on depression that says it's good to keep talking to a depressed friend even when they're not answering, and you shouldn't let them push you away. It bothers me immensely that they still update their Tumblr while ignoring me, but I've heard that maintaining a facade on social media is also common for people with MDD.
It hurts being ignored, and I'm definitely scaling back how much I talk, but this is still scaring the shit out of me.
Any opinions? | Friend's going through the worst depressive episode I've ever seen, I'm trying to help, but probably too much. Scared of what might happen if I let them disappear completely, though. |
t3_1ugwak | relationships | I [19 F] was woken up by my step sister [5 F] and my boyfriend [20 M] of 1.5 years got really angry. | Okay so it was in the middle of the night last night and I was walking to the bathroom and I realized Emmie (not real name) was awake and upset. She asked me to come in and help her fall asleep and of course I said yes. I read her a book, I scratched her back, and eventually she fell asleep.
So when I walk out of her bed room a half hour later my boyfriend has his jacket on and said, "this shit is ridiculous, I'm leaving." I was confused and he's like, "I haven't gotten any sleep when you were up with her, now I just want to go home and sleep." And I was like, "alright, I understand", because he has work at 8 in the morning. "She's asleep now so I can go back to bed with you." And he replied, "So you're just okay with me leaving?" ... "No it's just that if you want to leave you can, but if you want to come back to bed Emmie's asleep so it won't be an issue." He huffed and took off his jacket and we got back in bed.
Him- "I can't believe you would go in there with her and encourage her to stay up like that, you are ridiculous"
Me- "But she was upset and I didn't know what else to do, and her father isn't up"
Him- "Yeah well you're not her mother, it's not your job. She's 5 years old she should know when to go to bed on her own and when not to bother other people "
Me- "I just didn't know what else I could do"
Him- "At 8 when I have to go to work I'm going to make every noise possible and wake her up like she did to me and see how she feels"
I just didn't say anything after that. He tried to push sex in the morning but I just didn't want to, he got angry after that too and left in another huff. | Boyfriend got pissed in the middle of the night because of a 5 year old, I don't know what to think... Could you help sort this out in my mind? :( |
t3_1xmgnf | relationships | [27/f] The love of my life [27/m] is gay. I don't know how to recover from this. | My ex and I had been together for about 6 years, on and off. He's the only guy I've ever seriously been with. We had talked about marriage. Last month he told me that is he gay. Obviously, we broke up, but I am trying to be very supportive of him as he adjusts to his new lifestyle. He signed up on gay dating apps a week after we broke up.
I'm really struggling with the thought that all of our was a relationship was a lie to him, even though it felt so genuine to me. I feel betrayed. I don't feel like I can trust my instincts anymore, and I feel very alone (most people don't know about him, and I don't feel like it's my place to "out" him). I don't know what to do to move past this. | My ex is gay, and I am really struggling. Is there anything I can do (or read, or listen to) that will help me cope and move on? |
t3_3cvf27 | tifu | TIFU by Reading my Mom's Email (NSFW) | I am a 16 year old kid (male) with divorced parents. The divorce happened in 2014. Today I fucked up by reading my mom's email.
A few weeks ago I figured out my Mom's password. To me it was a learning opportunity because her and I haven't really talked...in a few years. So me being proud of my "hacking skills" I went through her entire email, every last one including the junk mail. What I found was... well...
What I found first was a video of some man around my mom's age *jerkin his gerkin* . What I found second was a bunch of screenshots my mother sent to herself of messages between her and some guy I don't know. These messages were dated back to 2011 and consisted of their conversation about how "excited" they were to see each other and the classic what are you wearing. What I found third was even more repulsive than learning my mom had been cheating on my dad for 3 years. I saw nudes of my mother. Yeah. I fucked up. | Hacked my mom's laptop ending up learning of her affair, seeing her nudes, and watched a dude *jerkin his gerkin* |
t3_2alkmu | tifu | TIFU by over sharing with a girl I like and possibly screwing up my chances. | I recently tore a tendon and am undergoing surgery. Honestly it's a bit scary for me and I have a tendency to go overboard with analysis and sharing. There's this girl I've been chatting with and we hit it off really well on our first date. I know this is something I need to work on, and there's little excuse for me to do so, but I went into detail and analysis of what is going on and how I'm planning for it. This is all about a week after our first date. I cringe thinking about it now. I know for a fact that she had an awesome time on our first date, due to a mutual friend. I got a text from same friend saying that she was uncomfortable with me over sharing just now. Ugh. I want to climb out of my skin.
I'm just going to shut up about anything related to the medical field to anyone for the next eternity. Lesson learned.
The fucked up thing is, she handled it like a champ so well, the only reason I knew she was uncomfortable was through her friend. She seemed super supportive otherwise. It's not like I'm dense. She was actively trying to make me feel better and I was just being my over stressed self. | don't talk about medical stuff with someone you have only known for a week, unless you all of the sudden lost an arm or something. |
t3_juu2r | relationships | Reddit, I feel like my relationship with my girlfriend is requiring more and more maintenance and is slowly dying. | Hey everyone. I am a 22 year old male and I've been with my girlfriend (she's 22 as well) for about 4.5 years now and we care about each other very deeply. We have been through a lot together and we have talked about marriage and our future together at great length. Despite this, we have been having a lot of problems lately. I am slowly becoming more and more annoyed with my girlfriend and the things that she says. She is a bit of a complainer/debbie downer and it is getting increasingly hard for me to be that positive and supportive boyfriend that she needs me to be.
I think my main gripe here stems from the way that I deal with problems in my life. I like to consider myself a laid back guy, and when things are getting me down I try to just let it go and look at the positive things in my life. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is quite the complainer. She will often complain about the same things day after day, even though we have thoroughly discussed the issues and even considered some solutions. I feel like I am getting too tired to deal with all of the negativity and I've told her this.
Even though I've told her how I feel about this, we find ourselves in the same scenario as before in increasing frequency. How do I alleviate this? At what point does the relationship maintenance consume the entire relationship? I almost feel trapped by her negativity and her inability to confront it and work on it.
Or maybe I'm just an asshole. I don't know. | I am with a girl who complains a lot but never solves her problems and after 4.5 years it is spoiling the whole relationship for me. |
t3_18dhva | relationship_advice | M[38], She F[43] said: "If you want to fix this, figure how to make me want you." | Me M[38] her F[43] together 12+ years. Been having some issues as of late mostly related to me being somewhat of a bore and not really engaged in life. I know that I need to work on some things and have an idea of what I need to do but how do you respond to something like that? If she wants me, she wants me. Does she expect me to change into something she wants? While I am not terribly happy with myself and as I go on my own self improvement journey, what's to say I am or will become something she doesn't want? I've just never had anyone say anything like that to me. | I'm a recovering bore and she wants me to 'figure out how to make me(her) want you(me)'. |
t3_3lvtsj | personalfinance | Hospital is charging us $2k for services provided a year earlier. Need advise. | Almost a year ago my daughter was born and it seems like we have been fighting with insurance and the hospital since. At first, the insurance company told us that we could have the birth in either of the two major hospitals in my town and that it would be free of charge for us. After the birth, the insurance tried to back down and say that the hospital she was born at wasn't in network and that we would have to pay to whole thing. After a long battle, we were able to prove that when we called them, they did indeed tell us we could choose either hospital.
Now a year later, we just received a bill for 2k, not sure what services we are being charged for, but the service date is the day after she was born. From reading a lot on this sub, I have taken away not to contact a debt collector if you are not 100% sure that you owe them anything, but I wanted to reach out and ask if anyone has any tips or info about this situation. I have become extremely frustrated with this hospital as every time we go in, it seems to cost around $2k for a 10 minute visit, or they try to screw us out of money in some other way.
Should we contact a lawyer first before contacting the hospital? We do have reference numbers for all the phone calls we made in which the insurance company has said they would pay any outstanding bills that remained.
Please Help as we are broke and a $2k bill would crush us right now. | Hospital is trying to charge us $2k for services rendered a year ago that the insurance company said they would pay. Not sure what the next step we should take to remedy this is. |
t3_4f40fr | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Ex Girlfriend [18 F] of 7 months, Broke up 3 weeks ago, still can't sleep very well. | We started dating alot faster than I was used too - We knew each other when we were kids and we hit it off after I came back to the state. The lovey phase ended very quickly. The sex stopped and I learned a whole lot about her past. I was ok with most of it, but paired with the combination of no sex I saw the writing on the wall. Fast forward a really hellish, insecure 6 months of trying to make it work.
I broke up with her a few weeks ago, we weren't compatible people. We made each other feel pretty insecure throughout most of the relationship. She judged me harshly for being a goofball and a nice person. I knew she was on pills and smoking shortly after we started dating, which was fine, but she decided not to finish high school and dropout, which was a huge turnoff for me. Paired with the plethora of other issues she brought to the table. Halfway through the relationship I got a talk revolving around "I don't want to talk about how to fix the issue, it's none of your business. I just need you to support me"
"what the fuck are you doing with this person" - brain 2016
---------THE ISSUE--------
The issue I'm having is I cant sleep. When I finally do sleep its in short, nightmarish bursts. It's effecting my work and general sanity. I can't quite enjoy anything. Even time with my closest friends is short lived and bent with insecurity and anxiety. I have a date tonight and I'm worried these awful feelings will arise again and ruin it. I've had some more success recently with talking to people, but man does it flare up really quickly.
I wake up thinking about her and what shes up too. I feel like I'm addicted to her. I feel awful for dragging her through that relationship, always trying to talk and make it work. I feel awful for trying to change her ways and help her fix the issues. | Ended a toxic relationship, having horrible sleep problems. Sweating, nightmares, anxiety, the works. Have a date and I'm worried about my reaction to myself. |
t3_4ipehf | relationships | I [m25] cant find the middle ground with women | I've been in 7 relationships of various lengths since I was a senior in high school and the game ender has always been the same - either the girl has an incredibly low sex drive or it's so high that she ends up cheating or trying to cheat on me.
I'm the type that would never cheat on my SO, I'm not abusive, I'm an attractive guy with a good size that performs well, so I don't give these women any reason to cheat on me. They just do. I don't understand. It always starts with them going to bars cause I'm chill and let them do whatever, within reason, and then it just goes from there, and if I try to police it I always get the "controlling" label and they get mad at me.
Sex is really important to me, not just for the physical experience but for the deeper feelings. So when I have the other kind of girl, one that only really wants sex once a week, it kills my own drive and lowers my satisfaction in the relationship because I don't feel that deep emotional/spiritual connection often enough, even if everything else is fine.
I'm close to giving up on relationships and am considering just adopting a kid later in life. Is there a middle ground with women here or is this just how it is? If not, what are steps I can take to stop my girl from cheating on me without being overbearing? | i always end up with a prude or a cheater, not sure anymore if there's a middle ground, close to giving up on finding the right woman for me |
t3_1g05yz | BreakUps | Ex wants to be friends and "see where it goes" | I've been posting every few days here in this subreddit. The last post I made is linked at the bottom. I'll summarize again my situation. My boyfriend, now ex, broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago because we had been fighting a lot and he needed space to clear his head. He told me he didn't know what he wanted and needed time to clear his head. After NC for about a week, he asked if I would meet him so we could talk. He basically said that he misses me and wants to be friends and "see where it goes." I told him I wasn't ready to be friends yet, and he told me if I ever figured things out to give him a call.
Fast forward to today. I am thinking about being friends with him again, as I do miss him in my life. However, I am not sure if he wants to be JUST be friends and his way of letting me down easy is saying we can "see where it goes." Is there a possibility of us working things out or am I just wasting me time?
previous post: | ex broke up with me and wants to be friends and "see where it goes" I don't know what to do. |
t3_1qygbx | relationships | Asking my[F/20] friend[M/22] on a non-date? | Sorry is kind of a long story.... I am in a sorority and our formal is coming up. I really wanted to ask one of my newer friends, I'll call him B, in a fraternity if he wanted to go with me. We met at the beginning of the semester and he is a great person. I only want to go as friends and don't necessarily want to hook up with him(even though he is really cute).
The problem is that I very recently stopped hooking up with one of his fraternity brothers. At a party last week, B and I were hanging out for most of the time. Then B kissed me but I told him I couldn't hook up with him because I don't want to ruin our friendship for a hookup. Even though he still wanted me to come home with him, I didn't and left later with his frat brother, which was a mistake...
I am nervous to ask him because he might be mad at me or think that I rejected him. Should I just go for it and ask him? or just ask someone else? | UNSURE WHETHER TO ASK A FRIEND TO A FORMAL BECAUSE HE MIGHT THINK I REJECTED HIM EARLIER |
t3_3anwr7 | relationships | My [28/F] family will not call me by the first name I've had for 10 years. | Hello r/relationships,
The month after I graduated high-school I had my first name legally changed, or to be more specific I legally switched around my first and middle names. For the sake of this post let's say I went from Mildred Rose Lastname to Rose Mildred Lastname.
I had been planning and talking about making this change for over a year before I did it as I was not fond of my first name and I wanted to distance myself from the person I was through highschool. My teenage years were very difficult for me (mental health issues, substance abuse as so on) and I saw graduation and going to university in a different province as my chance to start over all topped off with a new name to feel like a new me.
My parents (now 52/F and 62/M) were fine with the idea of changing my name and the only resistance was that as I'm only child and mom didn't want me to drop the name Mildred completely so I compromised and kept it in as a middle name instead.
The few friends I had from high school did very well adjusting to calling me Rose as well as most of the extended family but my folks (more so my mom) didn't even try. It wasn't until last year that they even started introducing me to new people as Rose, and even that is not consistent.
Now, my folks are amazing parents besides that. They are not narcissistic and have been very supportive and loving of me for my whole life except for my name. **It's been 10 years!** It's embarrassing to explain to people who've only ever known me as Rose why my parents call me Mildred, which inevitably leads to questions about why I would change my name and I'd really rather not get into my past with people who don't need to know it. I've tried explaining my feelings to them many, many times but no go. After this long I find it disrespectful that they won't try not to mention it hurts me.
I understand they have a sentimental attachment to Mildred, but doesn't a Rose by any other name smell as sweet? How can I convince them make the change? | Changed my first name 10 years ago, parents refuse to even try to call me by my right name. Looking for advice. |
t3_1b5y0n | relationships | Thinking about apologizing to [19,F] my ex [19, M] who I dated 4 years ago in HS and treated really terribly. Good idea, or beating a dead horse? | I was 15 and insecure, and for a year he put up with my jealous, unwarranted tendencies. It ended up with him keeping secrets from me such as his start of using marijuana which I felt was a big breach of trust, not that I have anything against MJ. I did everything I could to try to get him back including offering FWB, or indulging in weed and stealing to show we had common interests.
Since then I've been with my current SO for 3 years and have changed. I was naive and immature then, and feel incredibly terrible for the way I treated him. He treated me as well as 15yo boy could but we didn't have the maturity to reason things out. Since then he has added me on FB (he deleted his old account, made a new one), and this topic has been lingering on my mind. My SO and I are doing great, so this has nothing to do with ulterior motives or my ex lingering in my thoughts. I just feel bad for being a bad person..is it worth it to msg him and apologize? | 15YO couple, I was terrible to him and as a result, he was to me as well, but 4 years have passed and I want to apologize for the way I acted. Good idea? or no? |
t3_zij74 | jobs | When and How to Inform Other Employers after Receiving a Job Offer? | I have been job searching for about 6 months, and I finally landed a decent job. I have completed all of the pre-employment screening and now I have a start date. As far as I am aware, my name is still in the running at several other companies I've applied to. At what point should I feel safe enough to tell all of the companies that I no longer am seeking a new job? Is having a start date enough?
Several companies work with the company I will be employed at, and I know if I am job searching in a few years that having this experience will look good on my resume. I may even run into some of them I had interviews with in my line of work. Is it okay to mention the company where I will be employed, or is that just crass? I will be listing it on my LinkedIn within a few weeks anyway. Or should I just remain vague about receiving a job offer elsewhere? | Got job offer. At what point do I tell other companies? Do I mention the company I will be working for? |
t3_ww4nz | tifu | TIFU I caused my theater to refund over $2,500 in tickets and give away $3,500 in concessions | Our theater uses digital projectors. For the projector to play the film, the film has to be copied or downloaded onto the harddrive for that specific projector. We have a main server that stores up to 100 movies. It was my job to have all 12 theaters start copying TDKR on to them Thursday morning. I got busy and I didn't get to set all theaters, I only set 6 of them. I had told my boss I was busy and asked if he could set the other 6. He told me he had it handled. I thought that was over. Come 11:45pm we were checking all the projectors and setting all the thermostats down when I noticed that now only 8 of the theaters had the movie and 2 of those were only 50% done(it usually takes only an hour to move a movie but TDKR is so much that it was taking three hours for the whole thing). I immediately ran and set the other four to start and went and told my manager. He was furious and I said that I told him earlier but he just toldme that it didn't matter now and we just have to try and fix it as fast as we can. Come 12:00 I am back upstairs checking the projectors and 2 of them had restarted.(this means another three hours per movie) Also only two of the original six theaters that I had set earlier were set to auto play so about 12:15 only two of the movies had begun to play and I again had to run around and make the all of the available movies force start. Needless to say I don't have the job anymore but not because I was fired but because it was the last night on my two week notice, but my boss said that he would have fired me on the spot otherwise. We had about 500 angry customers and we refunded 10 of the 12 theaters ticket (only the theaters that had not started properly and we gave out free popcorn to the entire theater about 850-900 people and anyone who asked for free drinks got them.) | I forgot to set all the theaters to start properly and we had to refund tickets and give free concessions to everyone who came |
t3_1es5l6 | cats | Any advice on how to socialize a middle-age rescue? | My little girl Keely was left at a shelter in Brooklyn along with 12 other cats after her "owner could not take care of them" once her apartment was damaged by hurricane Sandy. When I got Keely, she was thin and bony and terrified of everything. She also had to have 23 teeth removed, as her mouth was rotting due to what I believe was malnourishment. Needless to say, she was never really cared for.
Since she arrived with so many other cats, the shelter had a hard time keeping track of them all, so they couldn't give me a definitive age for her. I'm guessing she's at least six years old. I've had her for about six months now, and she has come a long way. She's receptive to petting and likes to be around other humans. Other than that, she's not very active and she despises being picked up and put in a carrier. Whenever I hold her, all of her claws are extended and she runs at the nearest chance. She doesn't care for toys and stringy things that most cats love to play with.
Do any of you have a similar experience and were able to help a cat become playful?
[Here are some pictures of ma'girl] ( | My Hurricane Sandy rescue cat is okay with being pet, but doesn't respond to toys and HATES being picked up. |
t3_2b0xvl | relationships | I[24M] have been dating a [20F] for almost 2 months and we only see each other every two weeks. Am I wrong for wanting to see her more? | To be fair, she is pretty busy. She goes to work in the morning at 8 until 2, then again from 4-9. I completely understand, that is a long day at work. She says that she will text me after work which is around 9:30, but recently I haven't been hearing from her until almost midnight.
While I respect that she works two jobs and spends her entire day at work, I don't think that I can deal with not just hardly seeing her, but now hardly talking to her. We used to see each other 3x a week when she had 3 jobs, and text non stop. Now we'll send maybe 4-5 texts a day. | Am I clingy for wanting more, and being frustrated? Or wrong for wanting to end it over something like that? |
t3_1dhbqf | jobs | I have two summer job offers and really just need some suggestions... | I have worked for my uncle for the past 11 years. He owns a small business and once I had returned to school he kept me on Saturdays(which is our busiest day). However when I was finished school and ready to start up full time again I wasn't able to with the lack of sales.
He told me that I could start up Tuesday, Friday, Saturday at my normal wage during the third week of May. That will put my income at $300/week. I know once I return to school again in September I will be able to stay on Saturdays. It's easy work, I know all the customers, I'm working with family we always joke around and as much as I hate retail I really enjoy it.
I have been giving my resume out and I had one interview. That job called me back this morning(after two weeks) washing cars at a local Dealership. He is offering me 9-5 Monday to Friday and the occasional Saturday (so I would have to quit my Uncles). When I told him I was hoping for this full time position to turn into a part time position come September he said it probably wouldn't be able to work out like that I would be terminated at the end of August.
I would be working 35 hours at this job and minimum wage which puts me at $350. Sure I won't be sitting around the house all day doing nothing and keeping busy but is that extra $50 really worth it. I am not strapped for cash, but I really could do with the money either way.
I just need someone else's input. | work for uncle at $300 a week and start in a couple of weeks, or wash cars and make $50 more. |
t3_3g1jg5 | relationships | I'm [30M] dating this girl [26F] who doesn't put in much effort in getting together. Our communication is terrible, what is the best way to address it? | We dated for a few months back in the winter and I noticed her getting lazy with date planning. She'd turn me down when I'd suggest activities and only get together with me when she seemed to have nothing better to do. I decided to stop texting her to see if she'd initiate and she never did. So we pretty much ended right there
Fast forward 6 months and she started reaching out to me asking if I was out at the bars etc... for a few weekends. I brushed it off initially but eventually ended up getting drinks with her and catching up. We saw a movie together a week later which seemed to go well. Since then I've tried to make plans with her which she seemed receptive to, but she ignored me when I tried to confirm the day of (twice). After this I joked about her being so busy and wished her the best if I don't see her again. She responded about her crazy work schedule leading up to her vacation.
At this point I'm ok with moving on as long as I know there's no potential there. I'm just annoyed because we never really communicated our feelings and I don't want a prolonged fade out process. What's the best way to address it with her without sounding overly emotional and sappy? | Got back together with a girl I dated several months ago. We initially broke it off due to poor communication and lack of interest on her end. We seem to be having the same issues again, want to address it. |
t3_1h8m6w | AskReddit | Trying to convince owner of the local drive in to have mid-week classic movie nights. So help me out askreddit, which classic films would you like to see at a drive in? | Title kind of explains it. I live in a small town with an awesome drive in. They show new releases every weekend (Fri-Sun nights). I would like to convince the owner to start a mid-week (Wed-Thur) classics night. I believe it would be pretty awesome to experience some great movies at the drive in again and give the next generation the opportunity as well. I also think that it could be profitable for the drive in since older movies don't carry as high a charge to use them (I assume, not sure on this) and since there probably won't be as many customers (work night and such), they could probably run the place with a skeleton crew and still make some money to help keep the place running.
So I'm asking you, AskReddit, what are some classic movies that you would like to see at the drive in that I can pitch to the owner as examples of what could be successful? | I want our local drive in to show old movies mid week. Name some you would go watch or at least pretend to watch while you get freaky in the car like the saucy minxes I know you to be. |
t3_3kmgbv | relationships | My (20F) BF (20m) looks at gonewild too much | Let me start by saying that I am a very jealous person. I know I over react sometimes but I am just trying to figure out if I am in the wrong here. Me and my BF have been together for a little over a year. Most of the time we've been together it's been a long distance relationship, seeing each other once a month. Recently we've got to spend a lot more time together, which I love. But it has also showed me how much he looks at gonewild, literally almost every link will be clicked on, and other sites on here. Now, I get it. Guys watch porn. And I've told him that I do not care if he watches porn, a guy has his needs I get that. I just personally don't like him going on gonewild because they are real girls whom he can direct message. This has been an issue on and off for a while now and I usually just let it go because I think I am just over reacting. But it bugs me when he looks at it in front of me or tells me that those girls get him off. About 7 months ago I posted in gonewild because he told me I should. He got completely pissed after I did EVEN tho he told me to do it. He said that this was his body and that I shouldn't be showing it to other people. To this day he still brings it up. Even telling my friends about me posting.
We had a big fight about it the other day and he told me that it's my fault he looks on there so much since I dont send him enough photos. Even tho he has 200+ sexual pictures of me. He said it's completely natural for him to look at other girls but it makes me a whore if I post. I just don't understand why he can look on there daily and think nothing is wrong with it but yet I am no allowed to post.
I just don't know if I'm over reacting or if he's being an ass. | BF looks at gonewild daily and says it's my fault. But calls me a whore because I posted in it 7 months ago when he told me to. |
t3_4iy0wo | relationships | Should I [23/M] talk to my girlfriend [23/F] about how I want her to lose weight before we get married? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years and the topic of marriage has come up a few times. My biggest reservation is the lack of physical attraction from me to her. I am 5'10" and weigh 160 lbs and she is 5'1" and weighs 230 lbs.
I have tried in the past to gently bring up the subject but she goes right to asking if I want her to lose weight and I always say that I just want her to be healthier (she is type 1 diabetic). The truth is that I get jealous when I see attractive couples out in public and think about how I could potentially never have sex with someone that I'm attracted to.
I don't think her problem is diet - everyone in her family is severely overweight and she eats less than I do. She always claims to be on a diet and she used to have an eating disorder. I've tried to get her to be more active. I've invited her to the gym with me but she says she doesn't want to go to the gym because she will be judged. I've asked her to do fun things like an Insane Inflatables 5k, paddle boarding, rock climbing, canoeing, running, cycling, and various fitness classes. Every time she says that she is not comfortable doing physical activities with me because she is so out of shape.
She has horrible yeast infections between her legs and in her butt because the skin rubs together so much and the friction wears away her skin. I can't have sex with her with the lights on because I'm so repulsed by this.
Our sex life overall is okay but not where I want it to be. I know that I'm not super attractive but I try to be active and have a generally acceptable physical appearance.
Should I tell her that before I will propose I want her to lose at least 50 pounds or should I learn to accept her as she is? How would I even approach the topic without making her feel judged and insulted? I feel so shallow and like such a mysogynist but it is affecting our relationship and it's important to me. | Girlfriend is overweight and wants to get married. I'm not that physically into her and want to know if I should talk to her about it or let it go. |
t3_1cenpm | relationships | he beat the shit out of me, me (29) bf (27) | he beat the shit out of me and now he says he doesn't want me anymore after a year of being together. He claims it was my fault that I made him so mad and refuse to leave his place after he told me to leave.
He continually slapped punched pushed and dragged me across the floor.
Now all I feel is the pain of him leaving me. I love him so much. I just cant believe the monster that he has become and now he is leaving me. How do I deal with the pain of betrayal Reddit? How do I connivence myself beating me wasnt my fault as he says. | I know it wasnt my fault and he is a psycho but somewhere really deep in my heart I secretly wish and think I can mend stuff. |
t3_3ll5ns | tifu | TIFU by acting like a creepster at work. | This just happened about 20 minutes ago.
I started my day out by taking my gf across town for some function she is involved in. I had to wake up earlier than usual, and its a dreary sort of cool overcast morning so I was half awake throughout the drive. I do remember, however, my gf's outfit somewhat. Grey cardigan, black yoga pants, and a burgundy hat. Pretty standard for her. Why is this information relevant? You'll see soon.
After dropping her off, I drive back to the other side if town to go to work. I'm employed at a local grocery store. My work day started out pretty standard. It's a boring job, so I'm only paying about 50% attention at any given time. I was walking around, mid-daydream, when out of the corner of my eye I spot a girl who is wearing a familiar outfit. This is where it gets dicey.
I see in my peripheral a girl wearing a combination of black, grey, and burgundy. Familiarity triggers in my mind and I think "what the hell is (insert gf's name) doing here?"
From here a perfect storm of akward coincidences ensues. As I turn to look at the girl, a fly buzzes by my head. I wave my hand at it to brush it away. At this moment I notice that this is definitely not my gf. This chick is about 12-13. I realize my mistake and quickly look away. As I do, I notice that the girls mother saw the entire exchange. Presumably not recognizing that I had been shooing away a bothersome insect, she just sees a random mid twenties grocery store worker double take and wave towards her daughter and then quickly look away when spotted by the parental unit.
I immediately realize my situation. Dear god, I had to look like such a creep. I look back to see the girl with a confused, eyebrow raised expression and her mother with a scowl that would make even the bravest of pedophiles wither. I feel sooo stupid. | Thought I recognized my girlfriend at work today. It was actually a teenage girl. Accidentally made myself look super creepy. |
t3_1el32b | relationships | I broke up after 19 month long relationship and now i have developed feelings for this other girl in my batch but dont know how to ask her out..pls help me | I(20 yrs M) am a med student (currently 2nd yr) in india. I recently broke up from a 19 month long relationship with my batchmate(shes 21 yrs). we started having fights and she had intense "trust issues", she was way too paranoid and too possessive to the point where she used to check my phone and used to call me in the middle of the night just to make sure i wasnt talking to anyone else..well i don't regret ending it with her at all. Now i've started developing feelings for this other girl(19yrs) who is also my batchmate. I occasionally talk to her and i'm pretty sure she doesn't think of me any more than just a friend. She doesn't talk that much to my ex nor is she too friendly with her and she doesn't know that i like her. My dilemma is should i approach her...(i've always liked her and found her attractive) i don't want other people in my batch to think of me as a jerk who just dumped one girl and started going out with some other girl.....i dont want anyone to develop any kind of animosity towards me...i hope you guys understand what im trying to say..So any inputs are appreciated...please help me | I broke up with my girlfriend ob my batch now i wana approach another girl in my class but dont want others to think im a dick...how do i do so |
t3_3q2mk0 | tifu | TIFU by posting a bad selfie without context. | So, didn't happen today, but last night but I was too exhausted to post this on my phone.
So, the context first. Last night I was working a haunted house for one of my college's clubs. I was splattered to hell and back with fake blood and everything. My face was awful (more so than usual). My part in the event: I was to scream in pained agony as I was charged with execution and plead my innocence to the deaf ears of the executioner. As the night went on I started pleading for help from the crowd passing through. Whatever. So I'd been "beheaded" multiple times before the house closed for the night.
I'm driving home now and I stop at a drive through for some food. Waiting for the line to advance I check my face in the mirror. Definitely not as good as it was, but I still look pretty mangled for a 10 minute make-up job that consisted entirely of fake blood. I decide to share the fun I'd had via facebook. Took a quick selfie, and posted it to facebook with "I feel like I've just died... Multiple times."
Not everyone on facebook knew I was in a haunted house. In fact, most people didn't. I get home and I have texts, facebook messages, and comments from several people asking what happened and if everything was alright.
So... whoops. I explained everything, but I felt bad about worrying folks. | Was in a haunted house, worried several folks with a picture that looked like I'd been beaten bloody without giving context for folks to realize I had not actually been beaten bloody. |
t3_2wgyq3 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 1.3 year, she found some pictures... | Hi all,
I just had this weird situation, about 30 minutes ago. I'll be a bit explicit with this one. This morning, I was looking on facebook through my phone and saw a picture of a girl we both know. The thing is, even if I don't really find the girl attractive (she's a long time friend) I kinda was in the mood for a morning fap and decided I would save a couple of her picture on my phone for it and delete them afterwards. I usually think of my gf or watch porn when I fap, only this time I wanted to try something different that requiered a bit of imagination. I mean, it's still my private life and I had zero intention of trying anything on someone else anyways. So ''did it'' and forgot to delete the pictures afterwards.
My gf came home around 1 to get something to eat at my house and took my phone. When she opened it she saw the pictures and ask me why I had them. I couldn't just lie about it so I told her the truth, and told her that it means nothing, that I don't care at all and that I'm sorry if it looks weird.
She really took it bad and said that I was disgusting then left. I now don't know what to say or do. I know it really looks weird though and I'm really embarassed. I'd like to point out that our sexual life isn't so great neither. We're doing about 1 time per month and it's really nothing special at all. I feel like we have a sex life of a 25 years couple. This might have affect my fapping patern a bit. I'd also like to point out that I strongly believe in my values and that I would never ever try anything with someone else if I'm already with someone. It's a big no-no to me. | Fapped to another girl me and my gf both know for a change, forgot to delete the pictures off my phone, gf saw them, wouldnt listen and freaked out. Dont know what to do. |
t3_2fs7g2 | relationships | I [20/M] Want to improve my charisma skill with women. | Hello, /r/Relationships
As much as I hate to say it, this is a throwaway account. But I am doing it to improve my life, so I hope you guys and girls don't mind.
Growing up, I didn't have a lot of people to teach me the proper skill for life, beside my single mother. So talking to girls/women, is one of the things I am horrible at (Had co-workers and friends tell me that.). So I wanna learn and improved the way I talk to girls, and tell how to read and do the proper action to the signals. Didn't have a lot of relationship experience, less then 5. Going to college kind of sucks when I can't talk to girls I am interested in, or even be friends with them, cause I seem to come off as a creep.
So what can I do or even read to help me improve in this field? I wanna be able to do it one day without a lot of hesitation or nervousness/shyness. Anything helps! | Wanna be able to talk to girls without sounding like a creep, read signals and able to get into a proper relationship with girls or even being a friend. |
t3_2g0vtf | relationships | I[24f] am about to move in with my super perfectionist boyfriend[25m]. I'm worried. | I have been dating "Rick" for a year now. In fact, on our 1 year anniversary last week, I told him that my roommate is leaving the country and I'll be looking for a cheaper apartment.
He asked me to move in with him. I was ecstatic.
Now, the problem. Rick is an extreme perfectionist. I mean, I know that some people use the term perfectionist quite liberally. When I mean perfectionist, I meant he is almost suffering from acute perfectionism.
Everything he does has to be done perfectly. How he holds the knife and fork, the creases on his collar, the colors he wears, the arrangement of his watch. He has severe OCD. Basically, he needs everything perfectly done.
Now, he grew up with this problem. So, his parents helped him learn to live with others not being so perfect. So, in public he does okay.
He lives in a huge penthouse. And he does everything himself. He cleans and maintains and even paints it himself. From every book on the shelf to the arrangement of his cutlery. He is obsessed with having everything spotless clean and perfectly placed. His house looks like those houses you see in magazines which are always clean with polished wooden floors.
Now, obviously I'm not like him. I'm clean but not as neurotically obsessed with cleanliness as he is. So, I've messed up his place before. He simply smiles and puts it back together the way he likes it. He's never been angry/frustrated with me over it. Or if he has, he hasn't shown it.
I'm honestly scared that I'll make his life hell if I move in. I mean, I desperately want to move in with him. I want to sleep next to him every night and be with him most of the day. I'm just scared if I push his buttons too much. I can't lose him to 'incompatibility' because he's amazing in every aspect, and I've never loved someone like this.
I'm just super anxious and worried. Any advice will be appreciated. | BF is a super-perfectionist and has OCD. I'm moving in and worried I'll make his life hell. |
t3_3kgcvp | Advice | Reddit, I am furious. | Today I called my University to see if my financial aid had come through. The phone call started off well with the student worker greeting me and we went through the process of pulling up my account. She informed me that I had more to do to finish my enrollment. I was confused but went along with it. She guided me through the correction process but as we went along the tone she used was one of frustration mixed with judgement. I was annoyed but plugged along. at the end I asked when I could expect my aid and she responded by mockingly stating that if I had done this sooner I would get it sooner. I simply said I don't need a lecture I was just wondering, told her to have a nice day then hung up. Reddit, I am furious. Am I over reacting? | Lady in a service position at my University judged and mocked me on the phone as I filled out my form for financial aid. |
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